#journalist blake

[luvhughes43]

Why do I feel like the au kids, rudi and leighton are scared of the devils mascot 💀

rudi definitely cries the first time he meets the dev mascot ! he hides his face in nicos neck because why tf is this red monster approaching him... hes terrified.

leighton is scared of the mascot too but she shows it soo differently! shes got a crazy side eye and so whenever she sees the devil shes GLARING. shes such a judgemental baby she has jacks sass and attitude DOWN.

[saksider]

my husband, in another world he will be outlast protagonist

[agentfascinateur]

Wael al-Dahdouh by Emmalene Blake, a mural in Dublin. Hugely nice.

[cyberkaban]

Finally,I've got time to tell you about THE LORE(wise and mystical)

So,in this AU Murkoff had a contract with Bremen army. However,it was unprofitable,due to how long the conflict was. They also had a contract with Eastern Union. The plan was to choose the most victorious side of conflict and stick to them.

The corporation was hired to increase the fighting capacity of the army, using not very humane, but effective methods. Nothing they weren't used to.

(Un)fortunately, by the end of conflict,the deal led to the organization's bankruptcy.

And all roads lead to Prehevil

Miles – Journalist(lol,who's surprised?). Went to Prehevil to uncover Bremen's(and Murkoff's ofc) crimes to the world. Currently unemployed,because of the latest leak. Mostly driven by enthusiasm. Can increase his mental health by writing his thoughts down. Also runs faster than others. Killing people goes against his morales. But: If there's no way of avoiding the fight – rest assured,he knows how to defend himself.

In his moonscorched form he's the one who initiates the fights.

Waylon – Ex-engenieer of Murkoff. His joy for them getting throwned over by life went down,when he realized he's unemployed. He needed money to provide for his family,so he went to Prehevil looking for a job. Physically strong and is not afraid of loosing limb or two. He'll still be able to work and think clearly. Will befriend Miles quickly. Waylon knew he had enough the moment he saw the consequances of his actions on other people's bodies and minds. His hands are stained in blood too. He'd rather flee from a fight,but he's not afraid to confront his ex-colleagues.

Might develop hemophobia(fear of blood) at the last days. His moonscorched form combines machinery and flesh.

Jeremy – ah,that poor bastard. Even with dark humor like his it's impossible to laugh it of. When the corporation bunkruped,he was the one in charge and lost even more than others. Went to Prehevil for 2 things. White Bunker,that was constructed by the Eastern Union to research and experiment with otherworldly powers. Guess whose idea that was? Rudolph Vernike's(ofc) Here comes the second things: Jeremy wants revenge. He's not the one to blame himself. Even though he's good at hand-to-hand combat,he'd rather flee. That's why he has higher chanses of leaving the fight when low on health(it's mostly 80%). He's not looking for a fight,but if someone tries to interfer with his plans – he'll gladly end them.

You know,it's very unlikely for a guy like him NOT TO participate in massacre(intentional,or not. mostly not). He's not immune to the curse,but you'd rather find him dead in his human form.

Chris – former soldier of Bremen. His sanity left him a long time ago. Went to Prehevil in order to interfer Murkoff's plans. He once saw their deus-ex-machina. Even if it might not be a God,it's better to have it contained,keep it from outer world. Chris is actually quite empathetic towards other partisipants of Festival,he can be recruited very fast(ofc he won't cooperate with Murkoff). Will befriend Miles. Pain is his source of power. When he's low on health/mind,his attacks are getting more aggressive and deal A LOT of damage. If his attacks are progressivly getting stronger – fight back,and pray that you won't miss.

Despite the hatred carved in his mind,he wants to protect others. That's why his moonscorched form brings so much pain and harm.

Richard – Occultist,part-time doctor and a huge disappointment to his family. He's not really a doctor, but there's nothing stopping him from being one! In his homeland,occultism was considered more of a hobby. But,since he wasn't allowed to become a doctor,he found interest in occult practices. "There's no way anyone interested in otherwordly powers wouldn't visit Prehevil,buddy." Rick wasn't very upset about losing his job,because he just wasn't interested. Men is chaotic neutral. He's quite expirienced at what he does,but the most unpleasant debuff is him gaining addictions. Smoked tobacco once? Already addicted to it. He'll become a burden very soon,because of his addictions. Will team up with Jeremy. Is actually driven by the possibility of killing other participants,can and will do it.

His moonscorched form doesn't seem to have changed his psyche. He might not instant-kill everyone in fight,but he deals more damage to the limbs and often leaves party-members helpless.

Pauline – former Murkoff employee. She was sent to Prehevil in order to pick up some important researches from White Bunker and leave no witnesses. Because,some things should stay dead,but they just can't. She's not alligned to anyone,even All-mer. In fact,she's a pure atheist ,if it can be worded that way. Her main skill is accuracy,be it a gun or a knife. Good at blinding opponents. In fact,Pauline's cold-blooded nature has benefits.

Her moonscorched form blinds people very easily,which is why it was named"The Silencer",referring to her nature.

Paul – former Murkoff employee. Went to Prehevil with Pauline to assist her. However,he has other motives to be there – his daughter. Paul was born in Prehevil and felt safe leaving Alice in Bohemia,rather than somewhere abroad. Besides,Murkoff were helpful about her desease,and Bremen's army had already occupied the city. However,things turned out to be not so optimistic. His main skill is botanism,but he seems to know a lot about ritual circles and occult practices. Paul wouldn't kill another human being,but he knows all too well about Rher's malicious nature.

(Fun fact,if niether of the Pauls-duo gets recruited on the day3 – they'll kill each other)

His moonscorched form seems rather pity. He's passive and blue about his fate. Ending him is not even a crime.

Blake – Detective. His wife went to Prehevil 5 days ago,and he hasn't heard from her till today. He doesn't seem to know anything about Murkoff,but he's smart enough to find out,who's who. Not only can he see weaknesses of his opponents,he's also able to "sence" the danger. His intuition and experience can "warn" if enemies detected. (Something sorta: "Fear of the future crawls inside you") Can find a way out,even when it seems impossible. Fear will guide him,playing on his gullible mind.

Blake's moonscorched form is painfully reminiscent of the very ghosts of his past,that brough him here.

[raynbowclown]

Big Town

[selkigalumphing]

i swear to God these fucking two are going to be the death of me

[yellowsnow77]

Novedades musicales: junio 2024

Este junio que está a punto de terminar no ha sido un mes en el que hayan salido grandes discos. Sí que nos hemos encontrado con algún trabajo interesante de artistas pequeños o medianos, como el de Liz Lawrence y Oh Boland, pero en lo que se refiere a nombres consolidados, no ha habido nada que me haya hecho especial gracia. Y sí, sé que tengo que darle otro repaso al último de Charli XCX, el…

[libraryofgage]

Steddie brainrot continues to worsen to a concerning degree but here's a crack idea that is absolutely sending me:

Famous Spicy Six in which Jonathon is a director who decides to work on a passion project: a Scooby-Doo movie. His ideal cast is as follows:

Nancy Wheeler (investigative journalist with a few special appearances on crime dramas) as Daphne Blake

Argyle (an actor with a habit of playing small parts; he acts only because he thinks it's fun, so he's not concerned with significant roles) as Shaggy Rogers

Robin Buckley (a well-known voice actor who is more well-known for her social media posts and clap-backs) as Velma Dinkley

Steve Harrington (basketball star who is also more well-known for his social media clap-backs and for being Corroded Coffin's number one fan) as Fred Jones

Eddie Munson (frontman for Corroded Coffin, an insanely popular metal/punk/rock band and "infamous" for unashamedly posting Steve Harrington thirst tweets) as the voice of Scooby-Doo

Corroded Coffin is also creating an entirely new, original soundtrack for the movie

And because I think it's funnier this way, this is also an AU where the Upside Down still happened, so Jonathon just calls his friends up and is like "Okay, so hear me out"

The absolute insanity that breaks out when both the movie and cast are announced because nobody can figure out how Jonathon managed to convince all these powerhouses to join his movie.

The further screaming online after one of the movie promo interviews where a reporter asks how they all agreed to the movie and Nancy hits them with, "Well, Jonathon asked, and he never asks for anything."

Which leads to the discovery that they all knew each other in high school, and the reporter jokingly asks if that means they've all dated each other, too, which leads to Eddie jumping in with absolute delight like, "Well, that's a funny story, there. See, Stevie here dated Nancy, who then dated Jonathon when they broke up, who then dated Argyle after they broke up. And I thought Stevie and Robin were dating, so I was very confused when I saw Robin and Nancy kissing. But then I found out that Robin was a true-blue lesbian, which meant Stevie here was open for the taking, and we've been banging ever since."

and Steve is just sitting there, head in his hands while Robin cackles and decides to tell the reporter all about Steve's "fuck I have a crush on Eddie" crisis

This interview, of course, leads to even more freaking out online and comments like "I know I asked for poly Scooby gang, but this is ridiculous," and "I can't believe that in this, the year of our lord 20xx, ScoobyXFreddy became a canon ship," and "if I had a nickel for every romantic relationship the Scooby gang actors have had with each other, I'd have five nickels, which is way more than any of us fucking expected to have," and "suddenly Eddie Munson's thirst tweets make a lot more sense, but can we talk about Steve Harrington's CC tweets now," and "everyone say thank you to Eddie Munson for revealing that mess of a relationship map," and "finally, the canon lesbian velma and daphne we deserve"

The movie is a box office hit, btw, and bloopers from filming roll with the credits, among which is Eddie Munson making Steve Harrington lose his shit laughing on set while dressed in a Scooby Doo onesie and singing Corroded Coffin songs with his Scooby Voice

[whirlpool-blogs]

whirlpool's personal MOTA fic recs!

I've actually been dying to put this together for a while now...today is as good an excuse as any! I might not know everyone's tumblrs vs ao3 names so I will NOT be offended if you tell me to correct something!! <3

the big list = going alphabetical order in my folder because YES I do download my favorites, it's like having your own little bookshelf!!

non-clegan fics:

nine mothers' sons by @reallylilyreally (truly beautiful, breathtaking, and **THE** John Brady bible for the fandom so make sure you pray to it every night)

at your heels by @reallylilyreally (this one is Ev Blakely, another really beautiful story that helps you understand just why Crosby's memoir speaks of Blakely with such love and affection)

clegan (or gale-centric, or john-centric) fics:

A Direct Solution by @sweaterkittensahoy (Gale & Marge proposition Bucky...so cute and so hot)

ain't it easy? by @stereobone (dom/sub with john as the dom but ohhh man it's so much more than just that!!!!! this fic is so full of FEELS. and it's also HOTTTT. and also the FEELSSSSS.)

all the rest of what I want with you by @london-cowboy (the level of care that went into writing this fic is insane and impeccable. down to its own internal timeline, little egan kiddos, and the ANGST. but it's all worth it, I promise!!)

back home where you're from, that's the measure of a man by wolfhalls (nice little oneshot of the bucks, I love the back-and-forth of their dialogue in this one, it really does feel like two people who know each other well)

bittersweet between my teeth by @blixabargelds (post-war adjustment...love when the two majors are a little messy and a little sad and also john calls gale the prettiest thing he ever saw so there's that <3)

bluebirds singing a song by ourdarkspirits (Marge jumps Bucky's bones. Then Gale joins. Super fun, super hot!)

Close and Yet Closer by Anonymous (LITERALLY THE MOST!!!!!! FIC OF ALL TIME!!!!!!! Gale is a little bit mean and John is a lot bit sweaty. Like all the time. it's amazing and you should read it and it WILL change your life.)

Corpse Song by birdwif (oof. john is miserable in the stalag he's scratching at the door he's gnawing his own leg off.)

deep breath baby by @defnotanarc (um FISTING. yeah. intense and delicious. side note sometimes the world isn't fair and people who are really talented and amazing at drawing are also really good WRITERS too LIKE WTF!!)

DOG DINNER by @wompire (super interesting writing style, extremely poetic and striking. hits you right in the gut.)

everything and the kitchen sink by @swifty-fox (YEAH THIS ONE WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE TOO. modern au where gale is a professional dom and john is a journalist who hornily consents to both (1) fucking around, and (2) finding out. in top ten fics of the decade in general tbh)

Freed From Desire by @feyd-meowtha (yoooooo such a fun and free and sexy fic!!! such a great writing style and such a cool remix of all the characters we know and love!)

He wears his love around his neck by kasugayamaisforlovers (Gale character study, he tries to run his little gay thoughts away which is always so fun to see)

hold me like a knife by storm_warning (tw: self-harm, this REALLY gets into John's self-destructive stalag spiral and it's super visceral and wet and heart-wrenching and written with such, such care and precision)

Hound Within the Heart by Anonymous (fairy-tale esque, gets super crazy and pushes the limits of reality but in the best ways possible)

I Don't Wanna Be Alone Tonight by @johnslittlespoon (cuddling for warmth <3 and then a little more <3 <3 so sweet and intimate!!)

I Like A Bad Boy by @nicijones (modern college AU and bucky is a fratty fuckboy type & in this fic he DOES punch a guy for Gale and it's all very hot and sweet and a delight to read)

i wish you wouldn't tell me (about your hawaiian party) by @whitetrashjj (when the fuckbuddies thing gets messyyyyyy because gale catches feelingsssssss, so delicious and meaty!!)

if that isn’t love, it’ll have to do by @irregularcollapse (ALWAYS such incredible character reads from this author, never misses. also facefucking. also FACEFUCKING <3)

i'll be seeing you by @puffanities (a quick 1.6k oneshot but still packed with some really great characterization and powerful language!! 'when the numbers of planes don’t match...')

i'll find you before the dust settles by butidontreallycare (a Westworld AU!! super cool)

in our bedroom after the war by @stereobone (one of those fics that's just like. a pillar of the community, y'know? iconic. classic. eternal.)

Into the Unknown by Melanie_Mikaelson (big win for john whump enjoyers. BIG win. like 20+ chapters of winning)

it ain't for meatball by @meyerlansky (Curt/Bucky. Curt puts the dog collar on Bucky....and it's HOTTTT arf arf i'm barking just like bucky is in this fic...)

It's Not Love, but It's Fun by @sweaterkittensahoy (Curt/Bucky, 500 words so it's short and sweet just like Curt ahahahaha, ANYWAY still such an interesting little read regardless!)

judgment by the hounds by @puffanities (PG, very visceral and tender apology after the stalag fight scene <3)

level-off maneuvers by wormringers (sweet little oneshot of the Bucks in London)

little fix by ForASecondThereWedWon (Algeria <3 <3 you just kNOW those two gay pilots were sniffing and huffing and licking each other's sweat.....this author GETS it)

love means nothing (in tennis) by @irregularcollapse (fics that make you go WEEEEEEEE!!!! every word, every physical action that these characters take is SO precise and well-written. truly like wrapping a soft bathrobe around yourself and also the bathrobe is incredibly sexy and also they're sucking each other off post-game but PRE-shower. also gale's dad!! also margie!! truly such a well crafted AU)

make you feel alive by @sig-nifier (really sweet little oneshot of gale being a little protective of john. and i am ALWAYS a sucker for the 'call off your dog' trope... and it's done perfectly here!)

meet me at the chapel by @swifty-fox (still in-progress and SUCH a creative, inventive universe!! outlaw john you will always be famous to me!!!!)

my kingdom for a kiss upon your shoulder by @swifty-fox (swift can really weave a story like no one else. so many lines that pack a punch. and in the end, they make it <3)

my type by @spaceshipkat (this one is SOOOOO well-written, I always go so crazy for the dialogue!!! such a great push-pull dynamic in this fic)

night terror by @antiquitea (hot! and sweet! and HOT! and angsty!!!!! highlights include: gale gives john a literal countdown deadline to get off)

Obligate Mutualism by bowhuntress (Gale-centric story of trying to get John through the stalag, then returning the England without Bucky, a fic very obviously written with a lot of care and love)

obsessions, and other things by @sig-nifier (the Bucks cope. really great pacing and dialogue, and I always love when fics take the care to delve into john's struggle with alcoholism as well)

of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world (he walks into mine) by @whitetrashjj (really fun parallel universe where Buck owns a bar, just a great read all-around!)

Oh, I do, do I? by @defnotanarc (DIRTY TALK, like the most delicious, incredible dirty talk you can imagine, this fic nails it!!)

One of your Girls by @soliloquy-dawn (9k oneshot and it's great all the way through, Gale is jealousssss of John fucking around, don't worry they resolve it <3, definitely captures that innocence of pre-Bremen MOTA episodes)

peacetime like a liminal space by @spaceshipkat (this one is PHENOMENAL. post-war, John goes to New York City and turns out it doesn't fill the emptiness. luckily Gale shows up. <3)

Putting Words to It by @impalachick (YEAH THIS ONE IS REALLY HOT. John is a snoop and reads Gale's letters to Marge <3)

Reunited by Flowersandthings (PG, cute & funny oneshot of the Bucks being reunited after Gale makes it over from Greenland!)

Reverie by @avonne-writes (REALLY creative, well-crafted story. Gale and John are soulmates and can visit each other's dreams since adolescence. INCREDIBLE journey and arc in this story, the stalag part is just wow. truly such a gift to the fandom!!).

Rugire by Anonymous (umm omegaverse-ish but with deer dynamics. messy. and SO good.)

SHOTGUN. by pornogirl (YEAH this one is awesome, it's not safe it's not sane but oh boy it is consensual)

Song of Songs by @swifty-fox (sweaty sex sweaty sex sweaty sex)

Spin, Sit, Roll-Over by @glumbabie (Gale is a little mean to John and it's VERY sexy of him tbh. 'DOGS DON'T TALK'???? 'YOU CAN EAT'???????? yeah. read this.)

the chimneys hardly ever fall down by @redbelles (another Gale/Marge + John, and it's HOT. it's SEXY it's awesome!!)

the hand of a good man by @stereobone (John rewrites Gale's daddy history <3)

the jacket by @dogmetaphors (REALLY great sense of dialogue and characterization even in 1.6k words, also shamelessly horny and SO yummy)

The Major’s Wife by tryingmyhandatwriting (John/Original Female Character but like. give this one a chance, I'm telling you!! I'm always soooo compelled by sex scenes that like. are actually a little bit unhappy. and this one SERVESSSSS.)

this must be the place by @blixabargelds (BIG win for Gale whumpers. broken bone and LOTS of blood and super well-written)

To be alone with you by Damn_Illusive (THIS ONE IS SO, SO SPECIAL AND CREATIVE!! freaky army experimentation gives gale and john telepathic communication. incredible separation arc while gale is in the stalag. really, really unique story that is such a staple in my mind as one of the the most incredible clegan stories ever. I think about this one A LOT!!!)

To the Moon and Back by @rambleonwaywardson (iconic astronaut AU, written with SUCH care and love, it's so obvious!! and BIG win for john whumpers. who said that -)

Tough And Sweet (Like You And Me) by @johnslittlespoon (sooo fun and creative and inventive, Bikeriders-esque!Gale and a sweeter, more innocent John. really well crafted)

trading paper dolls by ForASecondThereWedWon (Alex draws Gale pinup girl style in the stalag.....John swipes it.... super great fic!)

two slow dancers by everywordnotsaid (unrequited love, John for Gale, through their journey. I genuinely, actually sobbed for a long time at the conclusion of this fic. I am always thinking about this fic. I think it really captures something about the experience of watching the show and realizing in that hopeless, lovesick kind of way that there's no way to go back in time and save all of them. I still get teary whenever I think about this story or hear the song. It's one of those fics that's not just good, not just great, but somehow also really fucking IMPORTANT. this story MATTERS. you should absolutely read it and save it and imprint it onto your heart. I know it's imprinted onto mine.)

Un Chant d’Amour by @counting0nit (really intriguing take on the interrogation center time frame!)

unicorns, and other extinct animals by @spaceshipkat (really, really incredible reading experience. something that actually touches other aspects of my life, even now. I see planes overhead and I think about this fic. I see letters on a table and I think about this fic. just. this author GETS IT, you know? just absolutely nails every aspect of this kind of fic: post-war adjustment, the pain, the LOVE. this fic will make you FEEL it. let it happen.)

Up In Our Bedroom by @steeseman (ICONIC. really one of those pillars of the community type fics, y'know? it's funny and it's sweet and it's painful and the hot parts are HOT. clearly written with SO much care, and SO much love, and SO much precision. every single word packs a punch. absolutely one of my top reads of all time, across time, across fandoms)

When the bones are good by @aramblingjay (a really incredible post-war fic, such a beautiful, rich writing style!! isn't afraid to dig at the hard parts - john's relationship with alcohol, their nightmares from the war. stunning visuals -- the author uses setting and place and motion in such a tangible, real way. I can still see the little hideout spot in my mind's eye, even now. one of those fics that's just. such a treasure to the fandom.)

your dreams, whatever they be by @drylite (this one is super new, and it's just SUCH solid writing!)

You're A Dog (I'm Your Man) by @johnslittlespoon (one of those fics that's a pillar of the fandom for SURE!!! definitely a classic)

[luvhughes43]

the au kids and what sports i think they'd play:

leighton hughes: i can see leighton playing hockey and being a goalie or something tbh. but shes also very princess, and i can see her dominating gymnastics because she loves to perform. actually scratch that, i think she has such goalie energy

rudi hischier: rudi plays hockey during the fall/winter months when the hischier fam is in nj but plays soccer during the summer in switzerland! i definitely see him sticking to one sport as he ages but i cant pick yet

lila drysdale: nothing. girlie is so anxious that she never ends up sticking to one sport for long. she did a year of ballet when she was little but that was it. shes much more artsy like her mom !

noah drysdale: hockey

[teekays]

hello! if memory serves you are the blog that talked about boy band pretty as a marketing tactic (or something to that effect? the search function does not work so if i’m wrong i’m terribly sorry) and i was wondering if you would be willing to find someone from each team (can include prospects if you want) to create the ultimate nhl boy band. this is not a necessary thing to do, solely shits and gigs and if you ever feel like it doing it. have a lovely day!

HIIIIIII that WAS me and you sent this at the perfect time because i am at the laundromat with time to kill and i LOVE to discuss this.... let's chop it up.... a few disclaimers: this is subjective so don't get mad at me and i will be including prospects and ahl players where i know its applicable BUT for most of these teams i will be going off the main roster + looks alone because if i did a full deep dive vibes analysis on every team's roster and prospects it would take me like two months to answer this ask... you understand. we are being SHALLOW here today in the true spirit of the boy band industry. let's go!!!

carolina hurricanes: i know everyone wants me to say sebastian aho but he is 1) too old 2) too unsettling looking. the elf on the shelf is not boy band pretty im sorry 😭 i do love him but he's just not the vibe here... i will say based on looks either scott morrow or jackson blake and his 90s heartthrob hair. i want to say seth jarvis because he's my special pop pop but that does contradict almost everything i have said previously so i will not be biased but know that if he was a pop star i would be his biggest fan i would kiss his poster. and that's my truth

columbus blue jackets: in the interest of journalistic integrity i went to their roster instead of just saying it's obviously kj as the intimidating aloof one in the boy ("boy") band but actually i do think it's cole sillinger.... teen heartthrob. also i didn't know that he was born in columbus because his dad was playing for the team and his brother is also on the team??? imagine having a whole destiny like that and its for COLUMBUS OHIO 😭

new jersey devils: jack hughes. open and shut case argue with the WALL

new york islanders: NOT MAT BARZAL. HE LOOKS 35. STAND UP LADIES!!! lowkey i do not know any of these dudes and this roster is kind of busted as fuck 😭😭😭 (NOT ANTHONY DUCLAIR who is too old to be a boy band boy but who i do love) bargain bin team... anyway isaiah george YOU! are the only cute person the new york islanders

new york rangers: matt rempe. those pictures of him lounging around on the phone??? wow. no words. diva heartthrob behavior. it's sad what they're doing to him what are we doing to our beautiful queens :(

philadelphia flyers: after much careful deliberation.... i think denver barkey is taking it. denver is such a deeply boy band name tbh he was born for this!!! i know everyone thinks it's jamie (who i still forget is a flyer 😭) but can you imagine him on a stage? singing a song? they are reinventing shoegaze for him. negative star quality (AFFECTIONATE!!!!!!! LOVING!!!!!!!!!!!!)

pittsburgh penguins: well NOW the obvious answer is rutger mcgroarty... not even worth going through that senior center roster when he's there tbh sorry pens

washington capitals: AGAIN. SENIOR CENTER ROSTER. i had to go to their prospects page to find someone suitable and my vote is patrick leonard he's a cutie!!! also im so sorry to say this but my jaw dropped when i got to this guy why are you playing hockey you need to make a children's album RIGHT NOW. i know he could do a banger cover of the We're going on a bear hunt song. but i digress...

boston bruins: matthew poitras is adorable and exudes star quality NEXTTTT. shoutout also brett harrison who looks like a long lost jonas brother

buffalo sabres: JACK QUINNN JQUIZZY HIMSELF partly for looks mostly for vibes... he has extreme "jack dylan grazer vape apology video" energy and also he has that boyish charm... either him or devon levi (hot) not miss owen power for the same reasons as jamie. she could never be a pop star 😔 ryan mcleod used to be the oilers popstar boy but now he's got too much competition he's a little niche for the title

detroit red wings: my gut tells me simon edvinsson but a look at the roster tells me there is some competition in the form of amadeus lombardi... if we were discussing this two years ago mo seider would be the obvious answer but he's too grizzled now 😔

florida panthers: 🙄 here comes another busted fucking roster... i guess denisenko??? panthers are not really representing here....

montreal canadiens: ARBER <3 he's like the bad boy hottie in the boy band. the one that makes your dad shake his head when he sees him on tv

ottawa senators: wow the atlantic division is fucking WACK this was another case of like. okay i guess ill pick one of yous but REALLY? so congratulations jorian donovan YOU are in the boy band

tampa bay lightning: seriously what is going on in this division. jack finley looks like he was the closeted one in a boy band from the early 2000s but he's aged past that now and he has a husband and a wine brand.... so we will bring him back for nostalgia points. welcome to the team. also i have to be honest i thought of myself as pretty well acquainted with the ahl but the SYRACUSE CRUNCH? that's crazy

leafs: JOSEPH WOLL! boyish charm out the ears on that one. a real cutie

chicago: obviously it's bedard. we all know it's bedard. on the surface he has no charisma but he does have a certain kind of shy boy charm and he IS adorable... he's the one in the boy band who makes your mom tut over him like "he seems like a nice boy"

colorado avalanche: wow huge props to matt stienburg for having maybe the single most boy band roster photo i have seen yet... THIS is the guy they get in the boy band because he's already had huge success with his hit single called like, Heart React Girlfriend or whatever. this is jacob sartorius if he played hockey. this is chase dreams. this kid is going places

dallas stars: it's obviously wyjo, joining the ranks with cbedard as The Nice One <3

minnesota wild: okay i was going to say brock faber because every group needs a kevin jonas (SORRY BROCK) but WHO is kyle masters and why does he look like knockoff brendan brisson. budget briss. diet briss. we have briss at home.

nashville predators: this just reminded me cody glass is a penguin now 💔 anyway the preds have some STRONG contenders here wow.... jeremy hanzel is taking it but i think luke evangelista could pull it off... now if you asked me to be really subjective it would be ozzy wiesblatt who would also be the subject of much poster kissing and rigged "which member of the nhl boy band should you date" tests so i get him as the result but that's just me....

st louis blues: jeremie biakabutuka your radiant smile has charmed me.... welcome to the band....

utah whatevers: MONTANA ONYEBUCHI I AM SO FUCKING SORRY THE SHARKS DIDNT APPRECIATE YOU. BUT WE WILL..... also matt villalta kinda giving off brand kj... you could build a whole off brand version of that umich team just with guys from other teams i bet

winnipeg jets: dylan coghlan you will always be famous to ME but i fear you are a little too old for our purposes here.... other than him they kinda don't have a lot going for them.... brayden yager it is your time to shine as off brand owen power ♥️

anaheim ducks: some strong competition here... tz is the obvious choice but i think we need to think bigger... olen zellwegger please step forward....

calgary flames: matt coronato i am free on thursday if you would like to hang out on thursday when i am free and also join this boy band

edmonton oilers: yet another old ass roster 😭 they're lucky they got so many sabres because matt savoie is saving their asses rn

los angeles kings: angus booth is smizing in every single photo i saw of him so. come on now

san jose sharks: it's so obviously will smith i don't even know what we're doing here tbh

seattle kraken: tye kartye looks like he would be into white water rafting so he can be the nature guy in the boy band.... strong competition from tucker robertson but he's just a touch too gay porn for this vibe

vancouver canucks: JETT WOO... HELLO.... but also shoutout cole mcward for having 2014 gay youtuber phenotype. a connor franta troye sivan type face if ive ever seen one

vegas golden knights: BRISS ‼️‼️‼️ my little tabloid queen... not only is he in the boy band but he's in the news and the media. he was born to be a star. natural ham. child actor energy. alex holtz is also a strong contender for this but i think he's off on his own doing his little pop star solo act thing

this took way longer than laundromat time but it was worth it i had so much fun!!!!! thank you!!!!!!

[8housevenus]

career in astrology

hii everyone, i wanted to talk about where in your birth chart you can see your potential jobs, career, and inflow of money. i will also go over how some of the planets manifest throughout your chart with it.

for starters, you want to look at your midheaven. the sign it is in, and planets you have aspecting it, as well as planets that fall under the 10th house are critically important. your midheaven represents you in the actual work field: 10th house represents the ways we might get there or what specifically speaks to us for our endeavors. check your 2nd house to see viable forms of income, the ways you can attain it, and expectations for your living. 8th house-6th house can also represent work life in terms of 8th (money from others or lended), 6th (work ethic & fixations).

career paths

having aries midheaven, mars in 10th, ascendant trine/conjunct/sextile mars, or mars aspecting the midheaven can make one so driven to have an early start to their career. from personal experience, i know many aries placements that love being successful from an early age. very versatile career options, they love something that they can express their creative style while switching it up as often as can. they can also experience many burn outs and crash outs due to them having more spontaneous bursts of energy rather than consistent prolonged efforts. career paths best for these people would be anything more hands on; military, construction, teacher, social worker, business person, etc. because aries traditionally rules over the head region, these people want to indulge themselves in challenge & help challenge others.

celebrities with aries 10th house: elon musk, franz kafka, angelina jolie, kanye west.

taurus midheaven, venus in 10th, ascendant trine/conjunct /sextile venus, venus aspecting midheaven these people love to make adjustments according to their fashion. they want a career that can show off their etiquette and cleanliness. something about showing themselves off as “perfection” or their arts as perfections makes these people highly intrigued into careers like; cooking/baking, niche businesses, clothing designers, interior designers, artists, singers, and influencers. they have sweet spots for being home made and brought up naturally, they take a while to get to their goals- but they will never lose sight of them.

celebrities with taurus 10th house: jessica alba, blake lively, margot robbie, drake, selena gomez

gemini midheaven, mercury in 10th, ascendant trine/conjunct /sextile mercury, mercury aspecting midheaven would appreciate a lifestyle where they can endlessly express their opinions or concerns on topics. they like having it figured out from a young age. they seem attentive, quick minded, chameleons to the state of the world. they love to communicate everything because they “blend in” so much, they sometimes want to stand out the most. careers that suit these people are; activists/ public speaker, sometimes even temporary jobs resonate better for them, directors, communications, accountant, journalists, authors/illustrators, engineering.

celebrities with gemini in 10th house: kevin hart, brooke shields, kris jenner, madonna.

cancer midheaven, moon in 10th, ascendant trine/conjunct /sextile moon, moon aspecting midheaven makes an individual more emotionally bonded to their careers, they need to do something that coincides with their morals. these people are very receptive in their workforce, willing to give and willing to treat their jobs/careers like it’s their baby. their work really is their life, they want to do careers can genuinely better people; therapist, social worker, nurse, dispatcher, personal assistants, instructors of some field.

celebrities with cancer in 10th house: jimmy carter, leonardo dicaprio, denzel washington, john f kennedy, kendrick lamar.

leo midheaven, sun in 10th, ascendant trine/conjunct/sextile sun, sun aspecting midheaven creates a vibrant person, one who shines through their careers. they must have a career they truly enjoy and can encapsulate their essence. they want to be seen for what they do, and oftentimes they are noticed. they get applause a lot in their jobs, certificates, something where they can make a statement. they would preferably settle in careers that are bold; actors, musicians, public speakers, influencers, athletes.

celebrities with leo in the 10th: janet jackson, katy perry, diego costa, harry styles, diego maradona, lana del rey.

virgo midheaven, mercury in 10th, ascendant trine/conjunct/sextile mercury, mercury aspecting midheaven makes one very peculiar about their field. they like to serve, aid, and assist. many like to do the work that no one else does, it makes them feel productive and extremely useful as they are. usually likes to go for health related, science related, or anything physically related as their careers. this can include; nurse, doctor, surgeon,, scientist, dentistry, athlete, physical therapist. anything where they can contribute to perplexing subjects, they are really drawn to.

celebrities with virgo in 10th house: usian bolt, joe biden, bruce lee, nelson mandela, neymar, thomas edison.

libra midheaven, venus in 10th, ascendant trine/conjunct/sextile venus, venus aspecting midheaven makes a person more inclined to pursue a career with legal systems, politics, anywhere where equity lies. they believe their belief system is their biggest power, their fairness serves as admirability from others, can be very well liked in public space & looked up to. because of the venus influence, they appear very alluring in their careers. seems like naturalists to being effortlessly out there. can also be benefitted from others giving them money simply for little things. careers that libra midheaven can excel in; lawyer, political figure, micro influencer, model, police officer, actress, principals, managers.

celebrities with libra in 10th house: princess diana, ronaldo, kylie jenner, parison hilton, messi, malcolm x.

scorpio midheaven, pluto/mars in 10th, ascendant trine/sextile/conjunct mars or pluto, pluto aspecting ascendant makes an individual go for more darker careers- in the sense that they can dig deep into their and other’s psyche. they want to understand things that are deemed impossible, unsolvable, mysterious. they are drawn in by odds stacked against them. they are motivated by struggle & challenge. one where their path has life & death really coincide. careers that these people are suited for are; detectives, psychologists, analysts for their endeavors, forensic scientist, surgeon, police, psychics.

celebrities with scorpio in 10th: ariana grande, obama, megan fox, nicki minaj, kobe bryant, selena quintanilla, sza.

sagittarius midheaven, jupiter in 10th, ascendant trine/sextile/conjunct jupiter, jupiter aspecting ascendant is somebody who wants to expand in their careers, go further, likely to get a masters or bachelors. education is so important to them, the more they know the better. they love to try new things, new places, meet new people. they can become extremely abundant by their work and want to share some of their wisdom to the world. always want to subliminally teach something. careers for these people that suit them are; pilots, flight attendants, journalist, realtor, religious teacher, priest, social worker.

celebrities with sagittarius in 10th: michael jackson, abraham lincoln, hozier, jenna ortega, deepak chopra, nispey hussle.

capricorn midheaven, saturn in 10th, ascendant trine/sextile/conjunct saturn, saturn aspecting ascendant very determined people, persistent, and resilient to their work. one of the most ambitious to achieve their goals. since they were younger they’ve known that they are destined for making something out of themselves. seen as very serious and intimidating because they feel super protective over their reputation and paths. discipline comes a long way, they might even have to work twice as hard just to be where they are. careers for these people; business owner, corporate, consultant, dentists/surgeons, accountants, financial planners/advisors.

celebrities with capricorn in 10th: rihanna, billie eilish, nikola tesla, jeff bezos, jordan peterson, morgan freeman.

aquarius midheaven, saturn/uranus in 10th, ascendant trine/sextile/conjunct uranus, uranus aspecting ascendant gives one skills and abilities in things that others do not understand or find stressful. aquarius midheaven has a natural interest in difficult areas. they like coming up with different things, extremely innovative and creative. these people leave legacies in their area of interest, inflicting change and making hard things easier to understand is common for them. careers for these people; engineers, computer scientists, activists, mathematicians, -ologists of any kind, designers, transportation, autonomy.

celebrities with aquarius in 10th house: hilary clinton, neil armstrong, amy wine house, jared leto, will smith.

pisces midheaven, neptune in 10th, ascendant trine/conjunct/sextile neptune, neptune aspecting ascendant allows a person to be huge visionaries in their field. they have so many ideas, influx of projects, and they get inspired through absolutely everything. as contemplative as they are, they love leaving their options open. not all those who wander are lost type of vibe. they naturally love to give and it is important that they are at one with their careers. sometimes seems like they are so fit for what they do. it has to be something they feel at peace with or that doesn’t involve too many others; artists, writers, philosophers/psychologists, photographers, spiritualist, architects.

celebrities with pisces in 10th house: lady gaga, adele, van gogh, cher, kamala harris, shakespeare, lebron james.

remember, it is not just your midheaven that represents what you will do in this life, keep in mind of the others things like i stated earlier, also jupiter is very important when we talk about income here. depending on the house it is in will show you how you can attract that money. ex; jupiter in 11h, make money through similar ways an aquarius midheaven might. or they might find that it interests them to go after something that standardly an aquarius midheaven would. 6th house is how we can approach projects. ex; 6th house mars could have an assertive work style, communicative, sharp minded, calculated, determined to duty. 2nd house shows you how you are with money in general, ex; neptune in 2nd can make someone more reckless with spending, giving to others easily, or losing track of budgets. ex,if you have an 8th house mercury persay, you can get money lended a lot by siblings or close relatives, fellow coworkers. (if you have any in particular shoot me a message or comment it down below and i can let you know my inputs on yours).

thank you for reading and like i said if you need any clarification i will be more than happy to clarify!

[caitified]

hi hi hi could u write caitlin x fem! reader where reader is blake’s (her brother) best friend and they hang out all the time and caitlin always had a crush on her? pls pls pls and thank u

best friend

caitlin clark x reader

warnings:none ( reader is a little bit older than caitlin ) longer than i thought it would be

this prompt is so cute send more to me anon

Title: un

it all began when you were just a kid, growing up in a small town where the summer days seemed endless. you were best friends with blake, caitlin clark’s older brother, spending countless afternoons at the park or in each other’s backyards. it was during those long summer days that you first met caitlin, a little girl with an infectious laugh and a love for basketball that shone through even at that young age.

caitlin had always looked up to you, idolizing your every move. you had been the big sister she never had, and the bond between the three of you grew stronger with each passing year. blake would roll his eyes at the two of you, teasing caitlin about her obsession with basketball and her dreams of going pro, but you could see the way caitlin’s eyes lit up whenever she was around you. deep down, you always sensed that there was something more behind that admiration.

as the years went by, your friendship with blake remained strong, but you began to notice the subtle shifts in caitlin’s behavior. she would linger a little longer when you were around, her laughter a little louder, her gaze a little softer. and while you were busy navigating your own life, you couldn’t help but wonder if caitlin’s feelings had grown deeper, but you brushed those thoughts aside, thinking they were just a product of your imagination.

fast forward to the present, and you were standing outside the arena where the wnba draft was taking place, heart pounding in your chest. blake had insisted that you come to support his sister, and despite feeling slightly out of place amidst the sea of basketball fans and journalists, you couldn’t say no.

“you ready?” blake asked, grinning as he adjusted his tie. “caitlin’s going to crush it tonight.”

“i’m ready,” you replied, taking a deep breath as you pushed back the rush of memories that flooded your mind. “i just hope she gets drafted by a good team.”

the energy in the air was electric, excitement buzzing all around you. you made your way inside, spotting caitlin’s family. her parents were chatting animatedly, clearly eager for the festivities to begin.

after what felt like an eternity of waiting, the moment arrived. caitlin was called up to the stage, and you could hardly contain your excitement. blake nudged you with a knowing grin, clearly proud of his sister. as caitlin accepted her draft card, she looked genuinely thrilled.

caitlin caught your eye again, and in that fleeting moment, you felt an undeniable connection—something that had been simmering beneath the surface for years.

after the ceremony, everyone gathered for a celebration in a private area, and you made your way over to caitlin, who was surrounded by family and friends. she was glowing, and you couldn’t help but feel a surge of admiration for the young woman she had become.

“you did it!” you exclaimed, pulling her into a tight hug.

“i can’t believe it!” she replied, her voice muffled against your shoulder. “thank you for being here.”

“of course. i wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

as the celebration continued, you found yourself stealing glances at caitlin. she was the center of attention, her laughter ringing out like music. yet, you noticed the way her gaze would wander back to you, her smile softening whenever your eyes met.

🪽🪽🪽🪽

after a few hours of mingling, the party began to wind down. you stepped outside for a moment of fresh air, the cool night wrapping around you like a comforting blanket. just then, you heard footsteps behind you.

“hey,” caitlin said softly, her voice barely above a whisper as she joined you.

“hey,” you replied, trying to hide the rush of emotions that came flooding back at the sight of her.

“can we talk?” she asked, her eyes searching yours, a hint of vulnerability in her expression.

“of course.”

caitlin took a deep breath, her fingers nervously fidgeting with the hem of her dress. “i’ve wanted to tell you something for a long time,” she began, her voice trembling slightly. “and now that i’m here, i just… i can’t hold it back anymore.”

your heart raced as you waited for her to continue, the air thick with anticipation.

“when we were kids, i always looked up to you,” she admitted, her gaze dropping to the ground. “but it turned into something more. i thought it was just a crush, but every time you were around, it felt different. it still does.”

“caitlin…” you started, but she pressed on.

“i know there’s a two-year age difference, and i know we’ve always been just friends, but i can’t help how i feel,” she confessed, her voice gaining strength as she spoke. “i like you. like, really like you. and i didn’t want to tell you tonight, but i just… i had to.”

your breath caught in your throat as you processed her words. caitlin’s confession was everything you had secretly hoped for but never dared to dream would happen.

“you like me?” you echoed, the warmth in your chest blooming into something brighter. “i thought you only saw me as blake’s friend.”

“no,” she said, shaking her head fervently. “you’re so much more than that to me.”

in that moment, you felt all the walls you had built around your heart come crashing down. you stepped closer to her, your heart racing as you took her hands in yours.

“i like you too, caitlin,” you said, your voice filled with sincerity. “i’ve felt this way for a while, but i didn’t know if you felt the same.”

her eyes widened in surprise, a smile breaking across her face. “really?”

“really.”

before you knew it, caitlin closed the gap between you, her arms wrapping around your waist as she pulled you closer. your heart raced as you embraced her, the warmth of her body grounding you in that moment. the world around you faded away, and all that mattered was the two of you standing there under the stars, finally acknowledging the feelings that had been bubbling beneath the surface for so long.

“i’ve always wanted this,” caitlin whispered against your ear, and you couldn’t help but smile.

“me too,” you murmured, pulling back slightly to look into her eyes.

🪽🪽🪽🪽

the weeks that followed were a whirlwind of emotions, new experiences, and the undeniable excitement of being together. caitlin was thriving as she began her journey in the wnba, and you were by her side every step of the way, cheering her on both on and off the court.

you started to attend her games, and every time she scored, you felt your heart swell with pride. she would glance your way, a bright smile on her face that made the crowd fade away. in those moments, it was just the two of you, and nothing else mattered.

one evening after a particularly intense game, caitlin found you waiting for her in the hallway. her cheeks were flushed from the adrenaline, and her eyes sparkled with excitement.

“you were incredible out there!” you exclaimed, rushing to meet her.

“thanks! i couldn’t have done it without you cheering me on,” she replied, her face glowing with joy.

“i meant every word,” you said softly, reaching out to tuck a stray strand of hair behind her ear. “i’m so proud of you.”

caitlin’s expression shifted slightly, and you could see a hint of seriousness in her eyes. “can we talk?”

“of course.”

she led you to a quieter corner, away from the noise of the crowd. “i’ve been thinking about us,” she began, her voice steady. “this is new territory for both of us, and i want to make sure we’re on the same page.”

“i agree,” you replied, feeling your heart race. “but what do you mean?”

“i don’t want this to just be a fling or something we hide from others. i want to be open about us,” she said, her gaze unwavering. “i like being with you, and i want to see where this goes. i want us to be more than just friends.”

your heart swelled at her words, and you nodded, unable to keep the smile from your face. “me too, caitlin. i want this, too. i want us.”

“then let’s do it,” she said, determination in her eyes.

thanks for reading! requests are open

[ravenadottir]

islanders' data and anecdotes if they were honest:

SEASON 1

❝ main character ❞ she's the only one that makes any sense

❝ allegra ❞ 24, swansea, cocktail entrepreneur, the public loves to hate her

❝ erikah ❞ 20, norwich, jobbing actor, she changes, every guy will be the love of her life until a new guy comes around

❝ jen ❞ 22, london, fashion blogger, the equivalent of a piece of paper until she couples up with someone for clout

❝ talia ❞ 23, watford, music journalist, she's the only one everyone agrees is the best person here

❝ jake wilson ❞ 29, preston, chef, chicken shit that waits way too long to say something

❝ mason❞ 24, romford, musician and underwear model, if "this could've been an email" was a person

❝ miles ❞ 22, glasgow, carpenter, not interesting enough to remember. also tattoo

❝ tim ❞ 23, truro, dj, alright, we'll allow it

❝ jasper ❞ 26, kingston, financial advisor, straight to the bin

❝ levi ❞ 26, manchester, professional water polo player, sock balls

❝ rohan ❞ 23, wolverhampton, psychology student, he joined the villa and that's pretty close to the circus. also, see "injustice"

❝ cherry❞ 20, suffolk, west end performer, try hard

❝ reese taylor ❞ 22, birmingham, newsagent by day, professional wrestler at weekends, revolting lack of personality

❝ sammi ❞ 22, london, graphic designer and artist, the definition of 'wasted potential"

❝ lucy ❞ 25, bristol, “adventurer”, *snake sounds*

❝ returning miles ❞ 22, glasgow, carpenter, we still don't care

❝ returning jasper ❞ 22, kingston, financial advisor, at least we found out he has a pet snake

SEASON 2

❝ hope ❞ 26, london, brand ambassador, '‘voted “most likely to be the center of the drama because she puts herself there"

❝ lottie ❞ 24, melbourne, makeup artist, i have one personality trait and that's all you're gonna get

❝ main character ❞ she should change her name to 'girl #5'

❝ hannah ❞ 21, st. albans, social media assistant, she went home really soon because she was so shy, we're sure that's not gonna bite anyone in the face

❝ marisol ❞ 24, portsmouth, law student, talks too much/says nothing at all

❝ gary rennell ❞ 23, chatham, crane operator, SLUT

❝ noah ❞ 25, romford, librarian, QUIET SLUT

❝ rocco ❞ 21, belfast, owns a “cocktails and cronuts” food truck, LYING SLUT

❝ ibrahim ❞ 22, birmingham, gold player, SHY SLUT

❝ bobby mckenzie ❞ 24/26, glasgow, hospital caterer, does impressions and bakes some stuff

❝ priya ❞ 29, manchester, estate agent, should've noticed she's bi during the fucking season

❝ henrik ❞ 23, isle of wight, climbing and wilderness survival instructor, shiny and dumb/smooth brain/nothing behind those eyes

❝ lucas koh ❞ 27, oxford, physiotherapist, yes

❝ chelsea ❞ 23, buckinghamshire, interior decorator, there's pink and there's champagne

❝ jakub zabinski ❞ 25, rochdale, personal trainer and fitness model, real life mutant ninja turtle but like white

❝ elijah ❞ 26, watford, hairdresser and model, he's there and then he's not

❝ felix ❞ 21, rotherham, nightclub promoter, annoying little cousin that grows up to be the annoying little virgin at the club

❝ kassam ❞ 26, new castle, techno dj, if you blink you might miss him

❝ graham ❞ 23, devon, commercial fisherman, ginger thanos

❝ arjun ❞ 24, norwich, dog groomer and influencer, "where's my hug?" kind of guy

❝ carl ❞ 29, dublin, tech entrepreneur, he's almost learning how not to sound like a robot

❝ shannon ❞ 24, dublin, professional poker player, "you'll forgive how annoying she can be because of her body"tactics, players, poker analogies all the time"

❝ blake ❞ 22, kensington, if you blink you won't miss her because she's so goddamn annoying

❝ elisa ❞ 22, london, social media influencer, the human form of a gear shift because of all the blame she shifts

❝ jo ❞ 23, cheshire, bmx racer, was here for only three days and it was still too long

❝ returning henrik ❞ 23, isle of wight, climbing and wilderness survival instructor, absolutely not the same person and it gets worse

❝ returning lucas ❞ 27, oxford, still a physiotherapist, "toxic fucks"

❝ returning hannah ❞ now 22, st. albans, she resented lottie so much she became her

[elisysd]

3. Wonder why you took a risk on a broken heart you cannot fix

Masterlist - Previously - Next

Chapter soundtrack: Purple Irises - Gwen Stefani, Blake Shelton 

Another DNF. On a track he loved and had witnessed him achieving great performances. But now, being out after not even a corner, it was painful. He knew he couldn’t have done anything to avoid it but still, it was a bitter feeling. And a feeling that didn’t go away when he saw you waiting for him, your mic ready. He hadn’t talked to you ever since that day at the restaurant, didn’t ask for your number, didn’t ask for your social media, didn’t ask for anything and a part of him regretted it. Kind of. He had promised to show you not everyone was untrustworthy but didn’t even think to ask for a means to contact you. He knew it was stupid but he hated empty promises. He was man of his word and to think he could let you down like everybody else was unsettling for him. 

He moved to you, Silvia by his side and gulped, bracing himself for a petty question that surprisingly didn’t come through.

“A very sad day for you Charles, can you tell us what happened with Lance?”

“I don’t know, I haven’t been able to watch the images yet but I guess he thought he had space and clearly, it was not the case.”

“Two DNF in three races, it’s not the start of the season you hoped it would be. What are your plans for now?”

“See what went wrong and try to learn from it with the team. That’s the best we can do and we will come back stronger next time.”

“Thank you Charles.”

As she was cutting her microphone he saw you looking at him.

“I’m sorry about the race. Truly.”

“No teasing this time?” he asked, surprised.

“I’m not a heartless monster.” you replied as Silvia pushed him to go talk to other media.

The meeting with her team went nice. They talked a bit about race, debriefing each other's interventions of the day and looked at what they should have done better. You were happy when Marion told you that you had improved, your questions sharper and more precise, and happy, you had decided to wander the paddock in search of new information or to meet interesting new people. That is something you’ve always liked to do, hanging out somewhere to get the atmosphere and to have conversations with people who could provide you with new enlightenments about contracts, performances or any changes inside the teams. You had learned it while being in New-York, during one of your internships while you were covering  basketball games where your boss had told you to let your ears wander. A few words that you were clinging onto. Near the Mercedes hospitality, you had not expected to run into Mick who was coming out of it, a bottle of water in his hands. Out of habits you smiled at him, giving him a little nod which he took as an invitation to talk to you.

“Hey! I saw you around, right? The new interviewer for French TV?”

“That should be me, yes. Y/N, nice to meet you.” you greet him.

You found it surprisingly easy to talk to Mick. The discussion flowed, laughter could be heard from the other side of the paddock and soon the sun was setting. He was friendly, caring, and offered her to sit somewhere so they didn’t have to stand in the middle of the way.

“You know, I’m going to a bowling place tonight with some friends. Do you want to tag along?”

“I don’t know. I’m not sure it’s very professional of me.” 

“No pressure, of course. The offer stands but we all need to let go from time to time.” he added, winking at you before leaving.

You spent another half an hour debating with yourself on whether or not you should go. You could use some friends for sure, and Mick is not a bad guy, you know it.  He doesn’t have any hidden agenda behind his kindness, he just genuinely wants to get to know you and be your friend. And you saw how some journalists are buddy-buddy with the drivers, including in your own team. So why couldn’t you? You took a deep breath and decided that for once, you would have fun. And it had been a while since you had gone to a bowling area. You quickly went back to your hotel room to change into more comfortable clothes and you met Mick there. You recognised Esteban there as well and you were not surprised, you knew the two drivers were closed. 

You had fun. More fun than what you expected coming here. You sucked at bowling but it didn’t stop you from laughing. You also enjoyed Esteban’s calm confidence and how laid back he was. You told him you felt sorry about his crash with Pierre, Alpine could have realized something amazing out there.

“I know, I’m gutted. It’s not the start of the season we hoped it would be, for sure. But the season is long, so we have time to improve.”

“I’m sure it will keep on being better, Esteban. Trust your team.” Mick said, coming to them, a grin on his face. He sat down next to you before turning his head in your direction. “I’m glad you decided to come. I wasn’t sure you would.”

“I’m happy I did, it’s been a while since I’ve felt this relaxed.” you confessed. “I don’t have many friends, I’m not good at making connections.”

“Well you have us, now.” Mick shrugged.

“Aren’t you afraid that I’ll betray you?”

“Do you intend to?”

“No.” you admitted after a few seconds.

“Then it’s all good.” he smiled.

“You trust people easily, you know. A little too easily.”

“A few years ago, I wasn’t like that. I was doubting everyone and everything. I thought people only wanted to be around me because of my dad and not because of me. And then I decided to stop caring because usually those people end up leaving at the first obstacle. It’s better to give people a chance than being closed off. My friends are basically my second family, my home away from home. I’m a family guy, it’s tough for me to be away from them, so that’s why my friends are so important.”

“I’m not that close to my family.” you confessed and your heart wrenched at the thought.

“Because of your job?”

“That and I made a few mistakes in the past that really altered our relationship. And a lot of regrets, mostly about my brother. When you’re halfway across the world, it’s tough to be there when he needs you most. I should have been there for him.”

“It’s never too late to fix things.”

You gave him a sad smile and a shrug. You don’t want to bother him with your complicated family’s stories. And frankly, you don’t want to think about them.

“I understand you know, the regrets. I have so many when I think about my dad. I’ve never told him I loved him enough,  I should have told him everyday. I even regret things that are so far ahead in the future, like my wedding, my first kid… I often think about how he won’t be completely there to see all of that.” he bitterly said. 

“At least he is there. Even if it’s not how you want it.”

“I guess.”

When you ended up leaving, after this very heartfelt conversation, you felt somehow relieved. Maybe he was right, you didn’t have to assume the worst about people. You took your phone out of your pocket and looked at your lock screen. A picture of you and your brother. You smiled tenderly, you missed him. 

Coming back to Paris and to your flat felt weird after such magical weeks. The gloomy weather made you regret the sun on your skin and you definitely didn’t miss the messy public transportation. Your days were filled with preparing the next races, organizing a few livestreams here and there where you invited fans to talk about the first few races of the season. And thanks to your connection at Alpine and the good relationship you had started to build with the drivers you even managed to get an interview from Pierre where you get to talk about his first weeks in his new team. It had been a nice and chill discussion more than an interview and you were happy to see that people had liked the concept and hoped you would keep it going with other people.

Despite how happy you were feeling about your week, it had still been a busy one and you couldn’t wait to go home and hop in your shower to relax before going out again to meet your best friend in a nice parisian restaurant. You arrived earlier than her and got to your table as the waiter gave you the menu and asked if you wanted to drink something. You ordered a Martini and started to wait for her, scrolling on your phone to pass the time. But as if fate had decided to play with you tonight, right when you decided to lift your chin, you saw him entering the restaurant. Charles Leclerc. And in good company if you could judge by the brunette walking right behind him. A date you thought to yourself. You unconsciously sat further down in your seat in hope he wouldn’t recognise you. You couldn’t help but give him little glances, your curiosity getting the best out of you. It didn’t last long, though, as your friend soon arrived and Charles wasn’t in your mind anymore.

“You have so many things to tell me and I have so many questions for you!”

You laughed. She has always been your number one supporter no matter what you were going through in your life. You didn’t expect anything else from her. Happily, you told her everything, even the slightest detail.

“So, who is the hottest? And is there anyone who is single?” she whispered to you as if you were both part of a gigantic conspiracy.

“I don’t know, I don’t really think about it. And I don’t have the mental space for that.”

She knew what you were implying. She knew all too well. She put a hand on yours and squeezed it gently before diverting the discussion to a lighter topic. The conversation flowed until your friend received a call. She quickly apologized to take it in a quieter space and came back a few minutes later, biting her lip, visibly worried.

“I got a call from my mom… my grandmother fell at home and she hit her head. She is at the hospital… I’m sorry I have to cut our dinner short, but…”

“Dont. I understand. Go.” you reassured her as she threw her arms around you and kissed your cheek before making her way out.

He was fed up. Clearly, he was not having the time of his life. The girl right in front of him had been sent by Ferrari and Silvia in another attempt to set him up with someone. No pressure, she had told him, she just wanted him to meet her and who knows? Maybe they would hit it off. And if it wasn’t the case, then she would leave him alone. For now. So he had agreed, a few weeks of peace seemed like a good option.

But he was bored out of his mind. The girl, who seemed nice, he had nothing against her, was agreeing to everything he was saying and was waiting for him to hold the conversation. He hated that. He needed someone who could challenge him, someone who didn’t care about who he was and clearly the brunette in front of him wasn’t what he wanted. They weren’t even at the main course that she had already mentioned the growth of her following and the new opportunities being seen with him would bring her, if they decided to date. He hated it. And he didn’t intend to spend one more minute in her presence. When the waiter came to take their order, he looked him straight in the eyes.

“You know, come to think of it, I’m not hungry. Can I have the bill instead?”

He knew it was a dick move, and if his mother would hear of it she would most certainly give him an earful. But it would still be more enjoyable than sitting there. He apologized, quickly made sure that the girl knew he had no interest in going out with her another day and made his way out to pay. That’s when he noticed you, alone, sipping on your drink. He could laugh. Out of all places, he had to cross your path. As if acting on their own, his feet carried him to your table.

“Fancy, seeing you here.” he said, making you look up. He expected to see a surprised look on your face but it wasn’t the case. You didn’t take your eyes off of him, making him slightly uncomfortable. “What are you doing here, all alone? A date who hasn’t shown up?”

“I was supposed to meet my friend but she couldn’t stay for long, an emergency came up. So here I am, sipping my drink, alone. It’s okay. I’m enjoying my very own company. And that very tasteful assortment of pastries. I most likely won’t be able to eat that alone, though.” you shrugged, putting a piece of chocolate cake in your mouth.

“You know, I’m in a mood for sweet… care to share?”

You were about to offer him to sit with you when he quickly recalled that his date was still there.

“Actually, would you mind getting a doggy bag and going elsewhere to eat? I kind of want to get the hell out of here.”

“Your date wasn’t that good, I assume then.” you said as a matter of fact.

“How did you…”

“I have eyes. I saw you.”

“You saw me…” he repeated, wiggling his eyebrows.

“I was facing the door.”

And suddenly he felt stupid about trying to see a deeper meaning in her words than what she intended to.

Out of the restaurant, they both wandered along the docks, enjoying the fresh air and the almost empty streets, the bag of cakes between them as they were sharing in a natural way. Almost as if they had done it all their life. Charles told her all about his very bad date and enjoyed making her laugh.

“Glad to see my very poor and inexistent love life is entertaining.” he smiled.

“It really is. I mean, look at you. You have the fame, the money, the good looks you could have anyone you wanted and here you are, having the exact same issues as us common people.”

“Believe it or not, but dating has become harder and harder the more famous I become. Whatever that means. We are all searching for the same thing, at the end of the day and famous or not. We want someone to complete us. Someone we feel good with.”

“Yeah, it’s not easy to find.”

“Clearly not.”

They kept walking in silence, enjoying each other’s company.

“I’m shocked you don’t try to pry or snoop around. You could ask so many questions about the season and try to get insides… but you don’t. Why?”

“I’m outside of my job hours. Right now, I’m just Y/N and not Y/N the very insufferable journalist. And you hate my questions, it’s me who should be shocked that you want to hear them.”

“I don’t hate them, I just don’t understand why I seem to be the only one to be on the receiving end of your bluntness. Every freaking time.” he defended himself.

You let out a sigh.

“They are legitimate questions and they are always validated by the team before being asked, if something was out of line they would tell me and I wouldn’t ask them.” you simply said.

Charles felt that there must be something else, something she wasn’t saying but they didn’t know each other well enough for him to dare ask her. From the corner of his eye, he saw her repressing a yawn.

“It’s late, do you need someone to drive you back home safely?” he asked.

“No.” she immediately said. “I mean, it’s kind of you, really. This whole hour talking felt nice but I’m not sure it’s something that should have happened. I know I can make friends with drivers, and some journalists do it, but I don't think I can, personally. That’s just not how it works for me. It would make my job harder and I need a clear mind to focus.” you tried to explain, perfectly aware of how hypocritical you sound.

“Do you say the same things to all drivers or do I receive special treatment?”

You opened and closed your mouth. You didn’t want to lie to him and somehow he read it in your eyes that it’s not that you didn’t want to have friends among the drivers. You just didn’t want to be his friend. And somehow it hurt more than what he expected.

Author's note: Happy first GP of the season! To celebrate it, here's the new chapter! I hope you liked it.

Don't hesitate to leave a comment or an ask, as well as reblogging and leaving a like. Besides the fact that I absolutely love to read you, it helps a lot for the story to find its audience. I also have a taglist for this story, so if you want to be added so you never miss a chapter, let me know.

If you wanna be part of the taglist, let me know.

Taglist: @itsjustkhaos @thirstylion @cmleitora @charizznorizz @sltwins @boherahpsody @herondalism

[basiltonbutliketheherb]

hello and welcome to my chappell roan ted talk

these days, more than ever, i am feeling incredibly disheartened by the treatment of female artists and the deep societal misogyny that it signifies. there is such a vast expanse between this and the typical experience of a male artists, that they have come to occupy an entirely different space in the cultural zeitgeist. male artists are often considered evergreen. allowed to make mistakes, to be rude, to release below average material and be given endless chances, to age, and to have problematic pasts and relationships. (yes, i am generalizing, of course male artists experience mistreatment as well, but generally to a lesser, and less permanent degree. we are talking about women today.)

the experience of a female artist is that of being constantly balanced on a knife’s edge. they are idolized, deified and built up to insanely lofty heights, then one (real or perceived) wrong move and they are viciously turned upon. they are built up almost solely so that they can be delicious to destroy.

we’ve seen this over and over in the past with people like taylor swift, demi lovato, britney spears, katy perry, kristen stewart, miley cyrus, ariana grande etc. (blake lively is a current example.) once they reach a level of overexposure and mass appeal, the vultures begin circling. one bad song, or thoughtless remark, or bad breakup, and they are public enemy #1. even when they do something truly problematic they are not allowed to learn and grow from it as men are. their purpose in society is immediately shifted from entertainment at their charm and success to entertainment at their suffering and demise.

this phenomenon used to be mainly sourced at the hands of media figures. journalists, talk show hosts, gossip sites, magazines. this highly visible upper echelon held all the cards and could sway the public in any direction they pleased in a pre internet monoculture, but now, with the rise of social media, billions of normal people have this power while being safely guarded behind a screen, or even wholly anonymous.

the recent years (and impact of younger generations growing up chronically online) have led to a sort of moral grandstanding, virtue signalling, victorianesque societal revolution. in this space there is no room for error. everything female artists do is taken out of context, twisted, and shamed. they are fully dehumanized and treated like a product belonging to the masses. a subject of discourse more than a person. they are expected to be perfect in every aspect, off the bat, with no room to make mistakes or learn. they need to be knowledgeable in every subject and never ever offend anyone, or do anything to bring anyone, anywhere, anything less than pure satisfaction.

there is no right move a female artist can make. if they take chances to further their career they are calculated, selfish, greedy, competitive. if they are content with the level of success they are at they are lazy, mid, a flop. if they are comfortable with their appearance and body size and aging, they are mediocre, not meant to be famous, a bad influence. but if they alter their appearance in any way they are fake, self obsessed, arrogant, and a bad influence. if they appear perfect, well spoken, kind, and generous then they are liars, manipulators, schemers. but if they appear blunt and not perfectly media trained then they are not cut out for fame, ungrateful, annoying, and spoiled.

( i am aware that i sound like the barbie movie monologue, but that doesn’t change the reality.)

the thing is, there have always been haters, trolls, liars who wanted to instigate the downfall of female celebrities. who couldn’t bear their success and admiration, and just wanted to burn it all to the ground. but today, in this social media generation, the call is often coming from inside the house. so often the ones to turn on famous women and treat them inhumanly, are their own supposed fans. people who are so obsessed with this perfect image that they project onto their fave. who feel so deeply entitled to their time, attention, and recognition that they feel personally slightly and attacked when things don’t go the exact way they want.

let’s take for example, the cancelling of taylor swift’s vienna tour dates.

these shows were cancelled by the venue management, due to a planned terrorist attack that was intended to kill 10s of thousands to 100s of thousands of people. due to the delicacy and danger of this whole situation, taylor swift decided to not mention the incident until after she had finished her european dates and was safely back in the US, as to not further endanger herself, her crew, and her fans.

this caused an unbelievable outrage. people who were both personally affected by the cancellations and those who weren’t, came for her throat. they were furious at her for not talking about it. for not coddling them and telling them how deeply sorry she was. for not grovelling at their feet and self flagellating to make it up to them. once she was back in the states she did in fact release a statement telling everyone how devastated she was over the whole experience and explaining how she felt it was important to stay silent until the right moment to speak on it.

now you’d think this would be enough to assuage the angry mob, but no. they doubled down and declared that it was too little too late, not enough remorse, and that they deserved even more of her attention and repentance. the whole behavior reeked of a desire to chain her to a post and throw bricks until she promises to do better next time and to give everyone their own personal concert and cradle them in her loving motherly arms, to make amends.

and these are supposed to be her FANS. people who were willing to spend hundreds, if not thousands of dollars just to be in the same room as her. just to breathe her air.

now, taylor swift ultimately will be fine (i am talking career wise), she is one of the richest female celebrities in the world. no one can even come close to matching her music sales, fan base, legacy, and broken records. she can lose 10%, 20% of her fan base and still be on top of the world.

but now let’s look at chappell roan.

in the past 6 months or so chappell has rocketed to fame. as someone who has been a fan for ages, this explosion of recognition and admiration was both outstanding to witness, and deeply dread inducing. especially knowing that chappell stands out as a loudly queer artist, who is unique and deeply talented, who is open about her struggle with bipolar disorder and depression, and has no desire to whittle herself down for public consumption. all of this, while incredible and refreshing, was a clear warning sign for what was to come, given the history of female artist reception, even for those who check every box of being publically consumable.

in the past couple weeks there has been a massive wave of both “fans” and those who didn’t even know chappell previously, turning against her for sport. chappell roan released a statement after having nonconsensual interactions with crazed fans, having her family members stalked and doxxed, being yelled at and harassed on the street, and having her personal history, relationships, and childhood mined for exploitative content.

now this behavior may sound familiar. just the typical feral stan behavior that celebs often experience.

but one key factor here is that chappell is brand new to this level of exposure. her fame exploded before her income could from this success, far too suddenly to have taylor swift level security measures set in place around herself and the ones she loves. too sudden for anyone to adapt to their experience of existing in public, online, and even private spaces being permanently altered. she woke up to an entirely new world and had little time to figure out how to move within it without further damaging her own mental health and safety, and likely few people around her who had experienced even close to this caliber of success and could guide her through it. all with no major record label crafting her image or providing pr.

so, the statement. chappell has recently gone on social media and set boundaries for herself. for how she chooses to move within this new world. she has explained the way this rise to fame has impacted her mental health and filled her life with fear and anxiety. she has made her position clear that she is an artist professionally, but a human being when she’s off the clock. her career is just that, a job. an amazing job, yes, but she is still an autonomous person who is allowed to clock out. who is allowed to turn off the character that she puts on for performances, and be left alone when she is not at work.

this includes, (considered most egregious) fans not touching her without permission, coming up to her in public and asking for pictures or autographs, or shouting her legal name at her on the street and taking pictures of her. as well as not harassing the people in her life or sharing her personal information online.

now while these things all sound reasonable, and something any one of us regular folk would expect in our daily lives, this boundary setting is nearly unprecedented for female artists. anyone who has tried has been deemed a cultural blight.

celebrity worship and stan behaviour has lead to an extremely parasocial society.

fans feel it is their god given right to own every aspect of a celebrity. they “deserve” to know every detail of their relationships, their thoughts on politics and events, their secrets and shames and preferences and loves and traumas. they are “entitled” to their time, attention, and endless gratitude, no matter what they are going through or willing to offer up. female celebrities are solely there for the consumption of the general public, they are to be picked apart and chewed up strip by strip. fans “deserve” to touch them, take pictures of them, yell at them, just for a moment of recognition, validation of their obsession, a glimpse of heaven at the alter of their deity. this is just the way it is, has always been, and will always be.

but chappell roan has said NO. no, this is not the way it has to be. just because something has been tolerated in the past, doesn’t mean it’s not wrong. doesn’t mean the future generations need to abide by the tradition of stalking, harassing, and devouring. doesn’t mean that it should be the norm to accept the potential of home invasions, hacking, and assassination attempts.

this simple act of boundary setting has caused an absolute outrage. media publications, other artists, “fans”, haters, and causal media consumers have come with pitchforks and torches to burn her at the stake. they say she is entitled and ungrateful, despite her explaining how deeply grateful she is to all those who support her and also support her privacy. they say she is a nobody and hasn’t earned the right to set boundaries. that society needs to swish her like wine in their mouths and spit her out once they’ve tasted enough, before she’s allowed to say anything other than “thank you thank you i love you i am not worthy”. they say she is not cut out for fame, because this is what fame is and has to be for all female celebrities. they do not get to have autonomy or choice. how absurd that they’d even try, how selfish and greedy and self important to think they deserve it??

of course true fans are going to rock with her no matter what, but chappell is brand new to most. to outsiders she is a face that appeared one day already cemented in a superstar position, and was suddenly unavoidable, confusing, and suspicious. the court of public opinion and the power of negative discourse have a weight to them which can easily overshadow the newfound success of a niche, less easily marketable celebrity like chappell, who has only just gotten her foot in the door.

in the midst of this discourse something else has occurred to deepen the gash of public animosity. chappell roan was given the career and life changing opportunity to perform at the VMAs for millions of people. an opportunity to grow her critical notoriety and fan base, as well as bring queer representation to the live screen, that would be a massive career misstep to pass up on. in accepting this opportunity, chappell was forced to cancel a couple shows that had been planned for a while. she tried to make the situation work for everyone, but ultimately was unable to. she expressed her regret and apologies and assured everyone that she would be rescheduling those shows when she had the chance.

as we have seen with the taylor swift vienna situation, this was NOT going to go down well.

“fans” came after her with a vengeance. they called her selfish, greedy, fake, and wicked for choosing her career growth over their personal experiences. said she was an ungrateful hypocrite for asking the world for space and then choosing the option to be unhumble and promote herself to the masses. the tickets were refunded, but people had CHOSEN to book hotels and fly out to see her in concert and thus blamed her for their financial burden. just as taylor swift “fans” did with the vienna tour dates.

as if chappell roan should be obligated to recoup them for the financial choices they made, and give them the experience they wanted right the fuck now, with the right level of humility, or else be deserving of punishment.

it is understandable for fans to be disappointed that they didn’t receive the experience they hoped for. that the situation was so sticky and immediate that they didn’t have time to cancel plans and grieve the loss. i know when i waited two hours after the opener at sabrina carpenter’s tour last year, just to find out she wasn’t able to perform due to bomb threats, i was heartbroken and angry at the world. i was frustrated with how the situation was handled by management, but i was not angry AT sabrina. i didn’t evicerate her online and demand that she FIX my heartbreak at once. i sat with my feelings and knew that there would be other opportunities, and that

sometimes life isn’t gratifying, no matter how fucking unfair it feels.

it is becoming more and more rare for any degree of understanding and grace to be given to female artists. every success i witness for the artists i appreciate (like this year for sabrina and chappell) fills me with a deep foreboding dread. because they are considered disposable and easily replaceable in this instant gratification, tiktok algorithm generation. everything has to be right now, done perfectly, and hold up to high moral inspection or else they are slotted for obscurity or public crucifixtion.

meanwhile, every aspect of these situations is deemed frivolous by society. they say if you don’t like it, get out and go work at dairy queen, there’s a line waiting behind you who are willing to appease us more. they say that having income from success immediately delegitimizes any social commentary or personal issues. because celebrities are not human beings. they are religious figures. they are both royalty and court jesters. they are toys to be played with ad nauseam, and then discarded.

but why?

why does it have to be this way? why does wanting to share your art with the world mean giving up your safety, privacy, and peace? why is it okay for male celebs to be grumpy and brash and never interact with fans, but it is a cardinal sin for female celebs to do the same or to transparently ask for it? and why is any of this important to you and i, who are barely scraping by and unlikely to ever be famous? why does it matter when these women generally still have some semblance of their careers leftover even after mass disdain?

because all of this is indicative of a greater issue that pervades every aspect of society. it is simply that with famous people we can see it on a macro scale.

all women and femme presenting people are held to the same standard as female celebrities, but on a less publicly visible level. in our careers, our relationships, our expressions of joy, our community and bonds with other women, and our own calcified internal misogyny.

we are here for consumption, we are here for the pleasure and entertainment of others. how dare we ask for more? how dare we know our power and set boundaries for ourselves? how dare we think we deserve a seat at the table, even as we age and grow and expand beyond the bounds of charming ingénue? how dare we collaborate instead of seeing each other as competitors and threats to our own power and beauty and ability to be loved?

how fucking DARE we ever get the idea that we are worth more than our youth and beauty and service to others?

i don’t know how we, as a whole, address any of this when the matter at hand is so deeply pervasive and engrained in the foundation of society. but i, for one, will start by looking at my own role in the treatment of female artists.

i will take the time to ask myself why even the existence of certain figures sparks a feeling of rage within me, and why i feel such a deep desire to know every detail, action, and thought of the artists i appreciate. why i feel joy and satisfaction when female artists i dislike are taken down, or “beat” by someone i prefer. why i let drama that has nothing to do with me alter my perception of art created by people i do not know personally. why my black and white thinking and sense of justice only applies to those who don’t resonate with me on an artistic or personal level.

i will work on finding grace and understanding for those who are trying to grow beyond their mistakes and be better people, the way that i am trying to everyday. those who exist both in the public sphere and in my daily life.

because it’s never too late to rip out the teeth of the bear trap we were born in.

long story short: chappell roan did nothing wrong. but if she ever truly does, all you can do is ask for accountability, then take a breath, get the fuck over it, and see the bigger picture for once

thank you for coming to my ted talk