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shiorimakibawrites · 1 month ago

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The Opening Act (Happy Little Accident #3)

Pairing: Matt Murdock x Fem! Reader Word Count: 8200+ Summary: Your first date with Matt. Warning(s): Anxiety, low self-esteem, swearing, secret identity dramatic irony, sexual fantasies (oral sex, face sitting, p in v sex, groping), implied masturbation, referenced cat-calling, kissing, suggestive conversation Happy Little Accident Masterlist My Masterlist Tag List: @loves0phelia, @sarahskywalker-amidala, @fanfiction-fanatic221, @nowheredreamer, @marshmelloyellow02, @milkbummm, @writtenbyred, @beezusvreeland, @dorothleah, @m1cky-y-y, @cestgrace Please let me know if you want to be added to the tag list. AO3 link

Part Three: The Opening Act

You patted yourself on the back for your self-control.

You managed to wait until you heard Matt’s door close before you jumped up and down with an excited whoop. A quiet one. Well . . . as quiet as you could make it. Hopefully quiet enough that Matt hadn’t heard it. He once claimed to have excellent hearing. Everything you had observed about him since moving in backed up that claim.

Fingers-crossed that two doors and the hallway was enough space to muffle it. Otherwise Matt might realize that asking you out was a mistake. Between the magenta incident and your inability to walk without tripping over your own feet, you had no idea what had possessed him to ask in the first place.

Whatever it was, you hoped that it stuck around.

At least long enough to discover if Real Matt was as good at sex as Fantasy Matt. Hell, even if he was half as good as that . . . you were going to be a puddle of bliss. Just might ruin you for other men.

Shame since you were probably going to run him off being all anxious and weird.

‘No raining on my parade,’ you ordered the brain gremlins sternly. Matt Murdock had asked you out and you were going to enjoy it, damn it!

“What’s got you so excited?” Serena asked, appearing at the bathroom door.

“I have a date,” you said, unable to contain your smile.

She smiled. “That’s wonderful! With who?”

“With Matt,” you said and waited.

The smile widened, became distinctively smug. “I told you that he liked-liked you.”

“You did.”

“Maybe next time you’ll believe me when I tell you someone is checking out your ass.”

“Matt has never checked out my ass,” you objected. “I’m lucky he can’t see my ugly bubble butt.”

Serena paused drying her hair with a towel long enough to roll her eyes. “You don’t have an ‘ugly bubble butt.’ Paula Little, excuse me Mrs. David Fitzroy, is a jealous bitch and always has been.”

You wanted to believe that. You really did. But it wasn’t so easy to banish that woman’s voice and cruel words from your mind. To forget the utter contempt in her eyes. Which was less often these days. Maybe you’d get lucky and she’ll decide to move to DC full-time.

Yeah right. You getting into a whirlwind romance with the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen was more likely.

“Perhaps,” you said.

“No ‘perhaps’ about it,” Serena said firmly. “And that woman is green with envy. And about to get greener the next time she decides to ‘grace’ us with her presence.”

“Huh? Why?”

Serena arched an eyebrow, “Because that beautiful specimen of a man across the hall? The one taking you out . . . when is this date?”

“Tomorrow at seven.”

The other eyebrow raised to match its counterpart. “Not wasting any time, is he? That guy at Josie’s must have really lit a fire under his ass.”

“That guy was not hitting on me.”

“He absolutely was,” Serena countered. “Along with undressing you with his eyes. Why do you think Matt kept looking like he had just bitten into a lemon?”

You hesitated. You hadn’t missed those looks but . . .

“How would he know?”

“Maybe Foggy warned him that someone was sniffing around his girl?”

You felt your face flush at the thought. It was a very appealing image. Your ego really enjoyed it. But the sensible part of your mind warned against putting the cart before the horse.

“One date - that hasn’t even happened yet - doesn’t make me his girl.”

“Maybe not, but you wanna be.”

That you could not argue. You had thus far managed to resist the urge to write Mrs. Murdock on your mini sketch book. Serena and Lex didn’t need anymore ammunition. Bad enough that Serena had teased you about how many of those pages had sketches of Matt. Your protests that you had also sketched Foggy, Karen, Serena, and Lex (just to name a few) was irrelevant.

“Speaking of dates, Darien is taking me to Hidaka for our anniversary tomorrow night,” Serena said.

“How romantic,” you said. Hidaka was a restaurant that served steak and seafood, the fancy kind where you had to wear nice clothes to even get in the door. Not quite black tie but definitely not jeans and a tee shirt. You had heard the food was very good but since it was also rather expensive, you couldn’t speak from personal experience.

“And,” her smile turned saucy. “Remember that lingerie set I bought last month?”

“I remember.” You had gone with her to the store. Serena liked having your opinion on such matters. Not because you were any kind of sex goddess. You just loved lingerie. It made you feel pretty. Even (especially) if no one else knew you were wearing it. Consequently your underwear drawer was almost entirely composed of silk, lace, and satin. “Darien’s going to be picking his jaw off the floor.”

“That’s the plan.”

“Coming back here or going to his place?” You asked.

“His place,” Serena said, then grinned at you. “You shouldn’t need your noise-canceling headphones tomorrow. Not unless Matt snores like a bullhorn.”

You flushed. “What makes you think Matt is sleeping over?”

“The fact that you’ve been thinking about his dick since the day you met?”

Your cheeks felt like they were on fire. She wasn’t . . . . wrong. Matt had gotten the starring role in your sexual fantasies very quickly. He also made regular appearances in your dreams. Not exclusively. For example, there had been a couple involving Daredevil.

But mostly it was Matt. And would probably be Matt again tonight. If you ended up touching yourself. You were feeling a little worked up ever since Lex put the idea of him eating you out in your head. Or rather put it back in your head. You had thought about it once or twice . . . dozen . . . times . . . your fingers gripping his hair tightly while those pink lips wrapped around your clit and sucked . . .

This wasn’t helping you feel less turned on . . .

Serena’s laughter interrupted your horny thoughts. “You’re thinking about it again!”

“Am not!”

“Sssuuureee you aren’t,” Serena teased. “Well, I’m going to bed. Long night tomorrow. Enjoy picturing Mr. Murdock, Esquire pounding you into the mattress!”

“Serena!” you whined but she just laughed and headed into her bedroom.

Out of sheer stubbornness, you tried to ignore just how aroused you were. You changed into your sleeping clothes - a simple pair of shorts and oversized shirt. Brushed your teeth, washed your face . . . briefly considered not washing the hand Matt had kissed before good sense won out. Along with the knowledge that, by this time tomorrow, you might have gotten a real kiss from him.

His lips on your knuckles had been so soft. As soft as you had hoped. And dreamed. You had had a lot of thoughts about that mouth. Was Matt a good kisser? How would his mouth gliding across your skin feel? Teasing, feather light brush of his lips? Little kisses? Gentle nips? Particularly to the sensitive skin of your inner thigh as he made his way up to your . . .

You sighed in defeat. Your cunt was not going to sleep without getting some relief. You slide your hand inside your shorts and gasped at the first touch . . . .

Matt had done his best to tune out your conversation with your roommate. While he couldn’t help overhearing things, he tried to give his neighbors some privacy. Instead he focused on getting ready for his patrol. There hadn’t been more trouble than usual but . . . he froze, the intoxicating scent of your arousal filling his nose.

That it had become familiar over the past few months did nothing to diminish its potency. Neither did all the barriers between him and your cunt. Quite the opposite. His lust for you had only become distilled. Concentrated it until the merest hint, the barest taste, of you was enough to stir his cock.

Go, it begged him. March across that hallway and peel off those soaked panties. They were silk today. He had been the hardest he had ever been in his life the day he realized that you wore nothing but satin, silk and lace under your clothes. Learn to tell the difference by the shift of the fabric against your skin as you moved.

Combined with your pheromones . . . sometimes it took every ounce of his self-control not to pick you up and carry you off to his bed like a caveman.

This was one of those times. He wanted to be gripping your ass in his hands while you ground that wonderfully drenched pussy on his face. He wanted you writhing underneath him, trembling from orgasm after orgasm until the only name you knew was his . . .

He clenched his teeth, shaking his head. Not tonight. Tomorrow. Assuming that was what you wanted. But his erection refused to be dismissed . . .

“Ahhh . . . Matty.”

It was the last straw, that sweet little whimper of his name had him leaking and painfully hard.

“Fuck,” he hissed, then pushed down his pants to free his cock . . .

You had fully expected to wake up at some ungodly hour and be unable to get back to sleep. But you didn’t. Much to your surprise, you didn’t wake up until a little after ten. Maybe it was the orgasm? Something about that warm, sated feeling made it easier to settle into sleep.

Idly you wondered if that effect would be enhanced by having Matt’s big, warm body to snuggle against afterward?

Assuming Matt snuggled. You hoped so. Being held in those strong arms, enjoying the warmth of his body and the beating of his heart under your ear . . . it would be such a lovely way to spend a lazy morning.

Serena had already left for work so the apartment was empty and quiet. You hummed as you opened the airtight jar of coffee beans and measured out enough for a few cups. There was just enough. Time for a trip to the roasters, then. A glance at the list on the fridge added a grocery store run to your errand list. It was your turn anyway. You had intended to go yesterday but then yesterday happened.

Your roommate would have gone and done it herself yesterday if she hadn’t been babysitting her brother’s kids. Probably for the best. More errands meant less time to work yourself into an anxiety spiral about your date tonight.

But first, coffee.

Your ears (and nerves) weren’t the biggest fan of the coffee grinder but your mouth wasn’t a fan of pre-ground coffee. It had been fine in high school but after working at the Daily Grind for a year, you just couldn’t stand the taste of pre-ground coffee anymore. It was too stale. The cafe had also ruined you for beans that weren’t locally roasted.

The only benefit to pre-ground coffee from the grocery store was that it was cheaper. But buying something that neither of you would drink wasn’t much of a cost saving. Thankfully your favorite roaster, Connor of Cool Beans, was willing to offer you and Serena a discount for being regular customers. It wasn’t a big discount but every little bit helped.

The delicious aroma, woody with hints of sweetness, rising from your mug told you had made the right choice.

Between running errands and tidying up the apartment (just in case you did end up inviting Matt inside), you were busy enough to avoid any nerves about your upcoming date. Right up until you were putting some things you had borrowed from Serena in her room and saw the dress for her anniversary dinner laying across her bed along with the lingerie, the matching heels waiting patiently at the foot of the bed. And then it hit you.

Your date was in four hours and you had no idea what you were gonna wear.

What happened next probably qualified as panic as you pulled things out of your closet and dresser. Trying to find something that didn’t make you look hideous. A task made more difficult when you remembered that you had no idea where he was taking you or what you would be doing . . .

Your name being called in a slightly worried voice startled you in looking up from the indecisive pile of clothes on your bed. Serena standing in the doorway, her hair freshly cut into waves that framed her face.

“What’s going on?” she asked. “What’s wrong?”

“I don’t know what to wear,” you admitted, feeling a little stupid. You were an adult. You should be able to pick out your own clothes.

“Okay,” Serena said, no judgement in her voice. You had been friends for years. She was used to you panicking over nothing. “Let’s take this one step at a time. Where are you going for your date?”

“I don’t know.”

“That’s easy enough to remedy,” she said and pulled out her phone. An action that confused you for a moment before you remembered that Matt had given you both his number shortly after you had moved in. Just in case, he had said. Never know when you might need the helping hand of a neighbor. Or a lawyer.

“Hi Matt,” she said. “Where are you taking my roomie tonight? Need to narrow down the clothing options.”

A pause. “I promise.”

That was enough to get an answer. Presumably. She still had her Bluetooth in so you couldn’t hear the other end of the conversation. Didn’t get to hear that deep, soft-spoken voice that made you weak in the knees. Something you were not at all pouting about.

“Good choice! Thanks Matt. Bye.” Serena hung up and slipped her phone back into her pocket.

“Well?” you said. “Where’s he taking me?”

“Can’t tell you. It’s a surprise.”

You frowned. Surprises weren’t your favorite things. They tended to be things like falling on your ass in a puddle or slicing open your thumb on an unexpected knife (never reach into someone’s craft drawer without looking) or getting dumped on Valentine’s Day . . .

“Hey, hey, don’t fret,” Serena said. “You’re gonna like this one. Trust me.”

“Okay,” you said slowly. You trusted Serena. She had been your friend for years before you both decided to become roommates. Well, roommates again. You had shared a dorm most of your time at Empire State. This trust wasn’t quite enough to entirely settle the anxiety. Which paid very little heed to such frivolities as facts and logic.

“Back to the topic at hand, your date outfit,” she continued, eyeing the clothing pile thoughtfully. “One thing I can tell you is that where you’re going isn’t somewhere with a dress code.”

“Which narrows it down from everything to everything minus the dresses in the back corner of my closet.”

“You mean you hadn’t already put your sweatpants collection in the ‘no’ pile? I’m all for being comfortable but that’s more of a snuggle on the couch watching movies on a rainy day kind of date outfit.”

You rolled your eyes. “I wasn’t going to wear sweatpants. It’s just . . . everything else.”

Serena nodded her head. “Let’s start at the bottom and work our way out. Underwear?”

One of the few things not scattered on the bed. You opened the drawer and stared at the possibilities. Maybe keep it simple? Save the ones like the pair with the cut-out heart on the behind for a later date? Yes. Something pretty but unlikely to make you nervous about its boldness . . . especially if said underwear ended up scattered across the floor tonight.

Something like this one, black satin with a matching bra. You set it aside and turned back to Serena. While you were contemplating your underwear, she had been picking out some clothing suggestions. Which seemed to be three choices for a top but only one pair of jeans had been set aside.

“Why those jeans?” you asked.

“They show off that very fine ass of yours.”

Your face flushed. “I don’t have a fine ass.”

“Sorry, darling, you have been outvoted.”

“By whom?” you demanded.

“Me, Lex, Matt . . .”

“Matt has no opinion of my ass.” you objected.

“Bet you five bucks that he does,” Serena said. “And that opinion is ‘hot damn, I need to get a handful of that!’”

“Doubt it,” you said, your face flushing at the idea of Matt grabbing your ass. It wasn’t unappealing . . .

Serena made a huffing noise. “When I’m proven right - and I will be - the ‘I told you so’ is gonna echo across Hell’s Kitchen.”

You rolled your eyes. You loved Serena dearly but she could be so very dramatic.

You turned your attention to the clothes. For all of your disagreement with her assessment of your ass (and its potential appeal to Matt), those jeans were a good choice. Comfortable but nice enough for a date somewhere more casual. Which honestly appealed to you more than somewhere fancy like Hidaka. A special occasion like an anniversary was one thing but for a first date, that was a lot of pressure.

Only thing left to choose was a top. And shoes. But you pushed that out of your mind. As Serena said, one thing at a time.

The fitted tee with the swoop neckline got bounced for being pink. You lived pink just fine but it was too close to magenta right now. And you just couldn’t. Maybe one day, you’ll look back on the magenta incident with fondness or even humor. But today was not that day. The white chiffon blouse with the periwinkle flower pattern was also out. The black bra would be visible. Ask how you knew.

Which left the wrap shirt. It was purple ombre, starting with a plum that was nearly black at the shoulders and ending with a pale violet at the hem. And like the jeans, it was comfortable and looked nice without being too dressy. You added a pair of ballet-style flats and declared yourself done.

“No jewelry?” Serena asked.

“Just my Pixie Dreamgirls friendship bracelet,” you said. “Gotta represent.”

Happily said bracelet didn’t clash with your outfit. Actually none of the outfits Serena had picked out did. Well she knew you liked the band. And that you had intended to wear your bracelet this week to support the band’s mini tour.

Still that grin she was sporting had you narrowing your eyes. Serena was Up To Something . . .

“Well it’s been fun but I’ve gotta get ready for my own date. Darien will be here in about an hour,” she said.

You blinked. Was it that late already? You looked at your watch. Yes, yes it was. Only two more hours to go.

You sat on the couch, trying to distract yourself from anxiously pacing with YouTube videos. You were also trying to avoid thinking too much about Serena’s whispered reminder about the box of condoms in the bathroom. Or the handful of them that you had just stashed in your bedside table. Or that you hoped that they were the right size.

Assuming the condoms were even needed tonight. Going on a date didn’t automatically mean sex. Matt might not want to. While certain parts of you were more than eager, other parts were nervous. You weren’t a virgin. You had had sex before. Just not a lot. You seemed to be invisible to most guys. The few who hadn’t . . . were a mixed bag. Interested until they realized just how clumsy or awkward you are. Or just wanted sex.

Mike the Boxer had been an exception. The realization that you made better friends than lovers hadn’t been painless for either of you. Not exactly an experience you were eager to repeat, especially with the added complication of being neighbors who lived right across the hall from each other. Things might be good with Mike now but that had taken time.

And speaking of time, it had been a while since you had sex with someone other than yourself. Unless your sex toys and Fantasy Matt qualified as partners. In which case, you had been having a lot of sex with a partner. In your bed, in the shower, his desk at Nelson, Murdock, & Page . . .

Knock!

You jumped. Was it . . . yes, it was seven. That was probably Matt. You got to your feet and scurried over to the door. While tempting to throw up the door, good sense had you checking the peephole first. It was Matt. The man you had just been thinking about fornicating with you at his workplace. And feeling rather turned on by this idea . . .

You felt your face flush. And gave silent (and somewhat guilty) thanks that Matt had no way to know this. Okay, be cool and he’ll be none the wiser about you thinking dirty thoughts about him. Step one, open the door.

Matt could dress in a potato sack and still be beautiful. This was no potato sack. This was well-fitting jeans encasing those thick thighs in dark blue denim. This was a crimson red tee shirt that was probably one size too small, making it snug enough to emphasize those big pectoral muscles usually hidden by a suit and tie. The brown leather jacket was looser but couldn’t disguise the broadness of his shoulders. His dark auburn hair looked like it had been freshly blow-dried, neat but so fluffy. You longed to bury your hands in it. And bring that smirking, ever so slightly smug mouth closer to yours . . .

“Hello sweetheart.”

You jumped. And flushed even deeper at the realization that, once again, you had been staring at him like an idiot.

“Hi Matt,” you said. “You look . . . good. Very good.”

You just managed to stop yourself from saying ‘Good enough to eat.’ Or ask him to give you a little twirl so you could see if he looked just as good from behind as he did from the front. A thousand bonus points for you.

Even if Matt looked amused enough for you to swear he knew what thoughts were running through your head. Which you didn’t think he did. Pretty sure you would have been asked to keep your horny thoughts to yourself if he could.

“Thank you, sweetheart,” he said. “You are lovely as well.”

More blood flooded your cheeks. “What makes you say that?”

His eyebrow arched. “Because you are always lovely?”

Which only made you even more flustered.

“Do you mind telling me what you are wearing?” he asked.

“No, no I don’t mind,” you said, then described your outfit. “Is that alright? I know it’s not very dressy-”

“The place we’re going isn’t a dressy place,” he interjected, then seemed to hesitate. Like he was suddenly unsure of himself. It was hard to tell with those dark glasses. “I hope you don’t mind. If you’d rather-”

You shook your head, then remembered that Matt needed words. “No, I prefer not-dressy. Fancy places and I don’t mix.”

“What makes you say that?” Matt asked.

“People expect ladies to wear high heels to fancy places and parties. The only time I tried to wear high heels . . . it didn’t go well.”

“How ‘not well’?”

“Broken ankle and dislocated my shoulder.”

He winced. “Let’s try to avoid a repeat of that.”

“That’s my plan. They also frown on people drawing on napkins.”

Matt chuckled a little. “Good to know. I’ll be sure to warn Foggy.”

“Foggy’s a napkin doodler?”

“Napkins, margins of his notes.” Matt’s smile was very fond. “Only good part of meetings with Burke & Winthrop is Karen describing his doodles to me afterward.”

“Funny?”

“Very.” Matt checked his watch. You tried not to have dirty thoughts about watching his fingers glide along the rim. You were not entirely successful. “And not to rush you but we need to get going if we’re going to make it in time.”

“In time for what?” you asked, grabbing your purse and jacket. Well, technically it was his jacket. Which you should probably return to him at some point . . . but it was supposed to be cold tonight, dipping down into the thirties. You’d give it back to him when he was dropping you back off tonight.

Assuming you didn’t invite him inside.

“It’s a surprise.”

You forced your mind to focus on here and now. And that expected but still somewhat disappointing answer. “Not even a hint?”

His lips twitched. “Sorry, sweetheart, no hints. You’ll see in a little bit.”

“I have to. We established that yesterday.”

Matt started for a moment, then laughed. Loud and delighted, a pleased smile spreading across his face. He had a dimple. You didn’t know he had any dimples. Just when you thought he couldn’t get anymore attractive. “We did.”

He offered his hand to you. “Shall we?”

You took the offered hand. Your hand felt right in his. Like it belonged there.

You smiled. “We shall.”

There was something almost dream-like about this, something you couldn’t quite put your finger on. It was far from the first time that you had taken a walk with Matt. You had walked home together from Josie’s or the shops. He had asked you to guide him before. But this . . . this was different.

Perhaps because you never expected Matt to ask you out. Perhaps because you had dreamed of this more than once. Fantasized about taking a walk in the park or visiting the farmers’ market, snuggled into his side as you inspected apples or admired the play of light on the trees. Moments that you could have now, you realized. Assuming this date continues to go well, you could go with Matt to the farmer’s market or for a walk in the park or a thousand other things.

It was a dizzying realization, one that didn’t felt quite real yet.

But your dreams could never quite replicate Matt’s warmth or how good he smelled. The sense of controlled strength in his grip around your hand, firm but gentle like your hand was something precious and delicate. It was another thing he shared with Mike the Boxer. Mike never forgot how much damage his hands could do.

These differences provided you with a solid anchor that was real. That you weren’t just having another bittersweet dream.

“We’re here.”

You blinked, mind brought back to the present. You looked around to see where he had led you.

The answer was the back of a line to get into . . . you lifted yourself up on your tiptoes to get a better look at the sign . . . The Drunken Duck. You felt your heart skip a beat. The Drunken Duck in Hell’s Kitchen was where the Pixie Dreamgirls were having their little concert. The first stop in a small tour around the tristate area. The very concert that you had been unable to get tickets for.

The others in line were dressed in tees with the band’s name or other merch like your bracelet. And they were excitedly chatting about the band and the upcoming performance.

“Matt . . .” you trailed off, not sure what to say. You hadn’t realized that he even knew who the Pixie Dreamgirls were. While you believed that one day they would be big, right now they were still a local band. One that you only knew about because Lex had stumbled across them one night and spent the next day getting you and Serena addicted to their music.

Lex had been rather disappointed about being scheduled to work tonight. Serena was less disappointed since she had her anniversary with Darien but had talked about attending one of the later dates. The one in Queens later this month for example, all three of you had neither work or a romantic milestone celebration to interfere with seeing the band perform live.

Still your friends had encouraged you to go to the Drunken Duck concert if you wanted. And you had wanted to. Then Lex’s cat Sappho had gotten sick and she needed help with the vet bill. And well Sappho was more important than any concert. There would be other concerts. There wouldn’t be another Sappho.

“Surprise!” Matt said, grinning wide enough to bring that dimple out again. “Is it a good one?”

“The best!” you said. And unable to contain your excitement, you kissed him.

Your boldness seem to take Matt off guard. But only for a moment. Within heartbeats, he was kissing back. The kiss was everything you had dreamed. Those petal soft lips moving against yours, feather light at first but soon firmer and deeper. His hand cradling your jaw . . . his tongue begging for and being granted entrance into your mouth. Your hands in his hair - when had they gotten there - tightening as he teased your tongue into chasing his back to his mouth. He tasted so good . . .

A piercing whistle had you both jumping apart.

The whistler was the bouncer at the entrance of the Drunken Duck, a well-built dark-haired man with a thick beard whose nose had been broken at least twice. He looked vaguely familiar but for the life of you, you couldn’t remember where you had seen him before. It was unlikely to come to you. Your brain was too occupied with how good a kisser Matt was. With those kiss-swollen pink lips and the pulse of want between your legs.

Seeing that he had your attention, the bouncer said, “You’re holding up the line, lovebirds.”

You felt yourself flush. The line ahead of you had indeed gone inside. You were amazed that you and Matt hadn’t been jostled by the people behind you. Very amazed. New Yorkers didn’t have a lot of patience for people wasting their time. The kiss had lasted forever and not long enough in your mind. But you guessed that it either hadn’t lasted enough or the line hadn’t moved while you occupied fast enough to annoy the others behind you.

It probably helped that you didn’t lollygag about getting up to the bouncer and getting your IDs checked. Though the bouncer’s parting comment of “Enjoy the show, Red” was teasing enough to send that flush speeding down your neck.

“Mind guiding me?” Matt asked, after handing over your tickets to the employee at the second door. “I haven’t been to the Drunken Duck before. And it sounds a little crowded in there.”

“No problem!” you said, taking his arm. You put the bouncer out of your mind in favor of guiding Matt. First stop was the bar to get your drinks.

He was right about how crowded the Duck was. Maneuvering around the excited patrons was a challenge. Everyone was too busy excitedly talking to each other. Very different from Josie’s where the regulars knew Matt was blind and were in the habit of clearing a path for him. But since this wasn’t Josie’s and Matt had already folded up his white cane, you were stuck trying to wade through to the bar without losing each other.

Which you managed to accomplish. Barely.

Good. You were getting hungry. The Drunken Duck website said there was food. You had been too nervous-excited earlier to eat more than a hardboiled egg and some toast with your coffee. But now you could smell burgers. And your stomach was pointedly reminding you that light breakfast was far too long ago.

“Hungry?” Matt teased.

“A little,” you said, an answer that had Matt’s lips twitching. Like he was holding back a laugh at your very obvious lie. But you were soon distracted away from your embarrassment at your growling stomach by your arrival at the bar. Upon request, the barmaid pulled out a braille copy of their menu along with a glossy version for you.

You or rather your stomach had already decided on a burger. But there were a couple options even when limited to that. All of them sounded good but tonight, you opted to try the veggie burger. Lex had been here before and recommended it. The harder part of picking out something to drink. The drinks menu was far more extensive.

While tempted by some of the mixed drinks, if for no other reason that some of those puns looked fun to say. The Drunken Duck had apparently decided to lean into the name of their business with many, many bird puns. But in the end you opted for a beer. Mixed drinks with punny names were fun but your favorites tended to be sweet enough to make it easy to underestimate how drunk you were getting. Right up until you stood up and found walking even more difficult than usual.

Not something you wanted. First because you embarrassed yourself in front of Matt enough while being stone cold sober. Second because you had it on good authority that you were extremely candid when drunk. And that Drunk You hit on vigilantes.

Serena and Lex claimed that the night you had overdone the cocktails at The Cat’s Meow, you had spotted Daredevil perched on a roof. And then proceeded to loudly compliment his ass. Along with offering to personally inspect his . . . err . . . billy club. According to your friends, the Devil seemed more bemused than angry about these saucy remarks, simply recommending that your friends get you home before you solicited another vigilante.

You don’t remember anything between your fourth drink and waking up with the mother of all hangovers. And you rather hoped that you never would. Drunk You might have the foolhardiness to offer to ride the Devil until he saw God. Sober You had wanted to die from embarrassment after being informed about that offer. Along with all other ones you had apparently made. You really hoped that, if you ever encountered the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen again, that he didn’t recognize you.

Drunk You would absolutely tell Matt how much you would like him to bend you over one of those little round tables in front of the stage. In excruciating detail. Best not to risk it. One beer, then switch to a soft drink. No worries about in vino veritas.

It was a perfect plan.

“What’s your verdict, counselor?” you asked.

Matt smiled. “Leaning toward a burger. Even though those Parmensian-garlic wings do smell delicious.”

You blinked. “If they smell so good, why aren’t you getting them?”

“I’d rather not have garlic breath during our second kiss.”

Your cheeks felt warm. “You want a second kiss?”

“Absolutely,” he said, a hand reaching to cup your cheek. You could no more stop yourself from leaning into it than you could fly. “And a third kiss. And a fourth. Until I’ve kissed you so many times that you can no longer count them.”

“That sounds . . . nice,” you said. Actually it sounded wonderful. So wonderful that you wanted to pinch yourself to make sure that you weren’t dreaming.

“It does, doesn’t it?” Matt agreed. “And if I asked to kiss you right now?”

“I’d say yes,” you said, your voice gone breathy and your heart racing.

“Then I’m asking.”

“Yes.”

And then he was kissing you.

Kissing Matt was just as heady the second time as it was the first time. A feast for the senses. The softness of his lips contrasting with the roughness of his beard under your palms . . . the taste of his mouth, mostly the sharp coolness of mint but underneath something that you couldn’t describe but desperately needed . . . that simple blend of leather, plain soap, paper, and man filling your nose . . . his warmth . . .

You whined when he pulled away.

“Sorry sweetheart,” he murmured, pressing his lips to your forehead. He sounded like he was genuinely regretful that he had stopped kissing you. “As much as I’d love to kiss you all night, the show starts in about twenty minutes.”

And you still needed to order your meal and find a table in this crowd. Damnit. You took a deep breath. Then a second one. Until you felt like you could control the urge to climb Matt like a tree. It only took a minute but it felt longer. Especially when the bartender taking your orders gave you both knowing looks. At this rate, your face was gonna be locked in a permanent flush.

Matt paid, under the rock solid logic that he had invited you out. So paying for things during this date was his responsibility. You made a silent promise to yourself to use his own argument against him some day.

The tables arrayed around the stage were even more crowded. And more compacted than around the bar. You had to press tightly against Matt’s side in order for you to walk together. Which wasn’t exactly a hardship. But between guiding Matt while trying not to spill your beer among the tangle of chair legs and feet, it was no surprise that you stumbled.

Alone, you would have ended up on your ass covered in beer. If you were lucky and didn’t knock your head against the table. But you weren’t alone. At the first hint of a fall, one powerful arm snaked around your waist and pressed you against his body. And amazingly you managed to not to lose your grip on your glass. It just sloshed a little.

“Careful, sweetheart,” he rumbled into your ear.

You bite your lip. His breath on the shell of your ear sent tingles down your spine. But his voice, huskier than usual, went straight to your cunt. Matt made a soft noise, almost a whine before nuzzling your neck. “You smell so good.”

This did nothing to cool the heat raging through your body. “Thank you?”

He chuckled. The vibration of it made you shudder. And press your thighs together. It took immense willpower to pull your mind out of the gutter. Thankfully the table you were aiming for wasn’t much further as you were feeling rather weak at the knees. Luck was with you as the table remained free. Maybe because it wasn’t as close to the stage as possible? Maybe if it had been you and your friends, you would have aimed for that one ten feet to the right but you thought it was a little close to the guitar’s amplifier for Matt’s comfort.

Again, you had no idea if the old chestnut about blind people having better senses was true but you had seen him flinch at loud noises. You’d prefer Matt without a migraine. It would put an end to any ideas of hanky-panky tonight. Something you were seriously considering. From the dampness in your panties, you knew your cunt was fully on board with this idea.

Anyway . . . the table you had chosen had a decent enough view. Not the best but the point of a concert wasn’t the visuals. It was the music. And you didn’t need to be close to enjoy that.

Matt didn’t dispute your choice, pulling out your chair for you. Nuzzling your neck once more, his lips brushed across the skin behind your ear. It was the barest touch and yet it felt like a brand. The arm around your waist gave you a squeeze before slowly sliding off so you could sit down.

Before sitting himself, Matt slipped off his leather jacket. And you felt your mouth go dry.

Those arms . . . your hands itched to explore. You wanted to follow the line of every muscle from those broad shoulders down to the sinewy forearms, enjoying the transition from smooth skin to a healthy covering of dark hair. Trace the veins and scars brought into sharp relief by the bar’s angled lighting with your fingertips . . . you still didn’t think you could wrap your hand entirely around his bicep. But it would be fun to try, digging your nails while he . . .

“Sweetheart?”

You have got to stop thinking about Matt fucking you while he was less than three feet from you. And maybe actually talk to him. Even if it was really hard not to get distracted by that smirking mouth, wondering what else it could do.

“Sorry,” you said, shaking your head. “Got lost in my head for a minute there.”

“Happens to all of us,” Matt said.

You sipped your beer and cast your mind around for something to talk about. Fortunately the reason for being here provided an easy one. “I didn’t know you liked Pixie Dreamgirls.”

He smiled. “I hadn’t heard of them before you and Serena moved in. But I kept hearing you singing their songs and liked what I heard.”

“I’m glad you liked them despite my singing.”

He shook his head. “Because of your singing.”

“That’s kind of you to say,” you said. You could carry a tune well enough but knew perfectly well that your singing voice was nothing to write home about.

“Just the truth. You have a lovely voice.”

Your cheeks burned. “I do not.”

“You do,” he insisted, his voice firm and brokering no argument. “My eyes might not work but my hearing is excellent. Trust me, sweetheart, I could listen to you all day.”

You felt that flush spread down your neck. Your fingers fidgeted with your bracelet. “You’re exaggerating.”

“Not at all,” he said. “I’m completely serious.”

You shook your head in disbelief. He sounded serious but he had to be exaggerating. No one would want to listen to you yammer on all day. Not even your family or friends who loved you dearly. Matt was unfortunately aware of just much nonsense started to spill out of your mouth when panicked, he had witnessed The Tale of Two Breads among others. There was no way . . .

“You just want to know how far I can fit my foot in my mouth.”

“While it is always interesting to see what your mind comes up with,” he said before his grin shifted into a wicked smirk. “Your foot wasn’t the body part I had in mind.”

“Good to know,” you squeaked out, fresh blood flooding your cheeks. Among other places. Along with bringing to mind your own thoughts on that topic. More than once, you had imagined yourself kneeling between his legs and taking him in your mouth. Wondered how he would taste, how much your jaw would ache afterward . . . what kind of noises he’d make as his thighs trembled under your hands . . .

And just like that your mind was back in the gutter. You shook your head vigorously. You weren’t usually this feral. Was it because you hadn’t gotten laid since you moved into 6B? Were you ovulating? Or was Matt Murdock just so hot that it was impossible to look at him without thots? Some combination of all three?

Or was that smugness in that smirk made it oh-so-tempting to imagine him underneath you, moaning and lost in pleasure . . .

“What’s your favorite Pixie song?” Matt asked, interrupting your dirty thoughts. The smirk hadn’t gone away but he seemed genuinely interested in your answer.

“Er . . . Lavender,” you answered. You empathize with the protagonist giving their crush bouquets of lavender, wishing that they’d recognized the message of love and devotion someday.

“Curious,” he said, then his smirk grew. “I would have thought Candy Apple Red. You sing it a lot.”

Whatever blood had managed to drain out of your face promptly returned. Lyrics about painting your lover’s body with bright red lipstick had provoked thoughts . . . many thoughts. . . ones that would be even more vivid now that you knew how good Matt looked in red.

“And what’s your favorite Pixie song?” you asked quickly. Before your mind could conjure another fantasy. If you couldn’t reign in this horniness soon, you’d need to excuse yourself to the bathroom for some relief.

He made a thoughtful humming sound before his smirk faded into something more sober. Something vulnerable. “Burnt Offerings. It really spoke to me.”

Not difficult to understand why that one would resonate so strongly - a sad but beautiful song about struggling with one’s faith after losing a loved one. You knew about one of those losses but knew there could be more. There was a lot you didn’t know about Matt. You slowly reached out for his hand, uncertain if he would accept comfort. But at the first tentative touch of your hand, he laced your fingers together. You breathed a sigh of relief and squeezed his hand. He squeezed back.

Neither of you spoke, just held hands, but the silence between you didn’t feel uncomfortable. You only released his hand with one last squeeze when your meals arrived at the table. As much as you would love to keep holding his hand . . . it was a big burger. If you tried eating that with one hand, half of it was going to end up on your shirt. Been there, done that. You lost too many shirts to the staining power of mustard. Or raspberry jam. Or so many other things. Not happening this time. You liked this shirt.

Your burger was good. Which you appreciated. It was easy to screw up a veggie burger. Matt seemed to find his first bites of cheese burger just as enjoyable. The fries were just as good - golden and crisp on the outside, warm and fluffy inside. You’d be adding this bar and grill to the list of good places.

It looked like Matt agreed with you. His first bite had been small, more like a nibble. Then with what looked like relief, his next bites had been bigger. But not hurried. He took the time to enjoy what he was eating. It was a routine you recognized. Both from his patronage of The Daily Grind and your own life.

“You’re a member of the club too, aren’t you?” you said.

“Which club?” Matt asked, his head tilting slightly to one side. Like a curious dog. How cute.

“The Fussy-Eaters Club,” you said.

“Ah yes, I have . . .” he paused, thinking about how to word it. “A discerning palette, I guess. For example, I can tell that Abby prefers Ceylon cinnamon for the Grind’s famous cinnamon rolls as well as its chai but uses cassia in things like the spice cake and gingerbread”

You blinked, surprised. While some customers had commented on the subtle floral notes of the cinnamon in the chai, the only people you had seen correctly identify it as Ceylon cinnamon were chefs and bakers. While Matt seemed to live on take out. There was never cooking or baking smells emanating from his apartment. To the point that you were pretty sure the only home-cooked food he got was from you and Serena or Mrs. Gonzales or that older woman you had seen visiting him when he had the flu last fall that looked a lot like Foggy.

“Supertaster to go with your super nose and excellent hearing?” you said. “Are you gonna save any senses for the rest of us?”

He laughed. An oddly relieved laugh. You had the sudden feeling that you had passed some kind of test that you hadn’t realized that you were taking. “You’ve got the super eye, remember?”

You rolled your eyes. “I don’t have a super eye just because I can tell the difference between dark navy blue and black.”

“Save Foggy from appearing in court with a mismatched suit. You know the press would have been all over that. Everyone loves hating on the defense attorney.”

“Right up until they need one.”

“Right up until they need one,” he agreed. “So far, how does dinner and a concert measure up against axe-throwing?”

“Axe-throwing?” You repeated, almost unable to believe your own ears.

“Yeah, Google recommended it as a fun first date activity.”

“Really, axe-throwing?”

“Yep. Right between live music and a walk in the park.”

“Well, it’s something different,” you said. “Be memorable.”

“Very,” Matt said. A mischievous grin split his face. “Should we do that for our second date?”

You giggled even as your heart soared with joy. He wanted a second date! “I don’t know Matt, blind axe throwing sounds more like a third date thing.”

“Hmm, you’re right. Back to the drawing board.” He pretended to think for a moment. “How about dinner at the new Thai place on 46? I haven’t been yet but it smells divine.”

“I’d love that,” you said, smiling.

Any further conversation was curtailed by Fayola, the lead singer of the Pixie Dreamgirls, asking the audience if they were ready for some music. A resounding Yes! was her answer.

“Well, then,” she said. “Let’s get this party started!”

You felt Matt’s hand lace your fingers together as the first notes of Call Down The Moon filled the air.

It had been hard not to skip all the way home. You were so happy. You had just seen a favorite band perform live and it had been so much fun. Your belly was filled with good food and drink. And you were on a date with Matt.

Matt who had taken every opportunity tonight to hold your hand. Who had listened to your excited gushing all the way home with that fond, little smile that made your heart go pitter-patter. Who had kissed you twice and was probably planning on kissing you again now that you were at your front door.

But you had another idea. One that had your heart racing with a combination of anticipation and nerves.

“Hey, Matt?”

“Yes, sweetheart?”

“Do you want to come in for some coffee?” you asked, hoping he picked up on what you were really asking. There was no one else in the hallway but you had to be ladylike. Couldn’t just come out and say ‘I want you to fuck me stupid tonight.’

And it seemed like he had picked on what you hadn’t said, squeezing your hand. “Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

“Then,” he said, his voice husky. “I’d love some coffee.”

To be continued . . .

AUTHOR’S NOTES

Thank you Mama Sapph (@sunflowersandsapphires) on Tumblr for brainstorming help.

Hidaka Steakhouse, Cool Beans, Empire State University, Druken Duck Bar & Grill, and The Cat’s Meow are, as far I know, entirely made up businesses.

Pixie Dreamgirls also exists only in my head. It consists of three members - lead vocals/guitar, keyboard, and drums. Has two albums - Rainbow Magic and Call Down The Moon.

Freshly-ground coffee usually tastes fresher that anything pre-ground, provided the beans have been stored properly.

Tri-State Area or Greater New York means New York City, downstate New York, northern and central New Jersey, and western Connecticut but increasingly these days eastern Pennslyvania.

In vino veritas is Latin phrase meaning In wine, lies truth. It is referencing how people can be forthright after having their inhibitions lowered by alcohol.

According to a symbolism book, lavender means love and devotion in the language of flowers.

Cinnamon is a general name for the bark of five related trees that used as a spice. The Ceylon variety or true cinnamon is a milder flavor with more floral and spicy notes than cassia or Chinese cinnamon but cassia stands up better to longer cooking or in dishes with other strong flavors where the Ceylon might go unnoticed. Cassia is more common on the US market than Ceylon - the cinnamon at your supermarket is probably Cassia. Ceylon is more likely to be found at a speciality store and be more expensive.

Axe-throwing really was suggested by Google when I searched for fun first date ideas.

#fan fiction #daredevil #matt murdock #matt murdock x reader #matt murdock x you #happy little accident series #chapter 3

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brutalwillds · 2 months ago

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@felttheburden

Hope’s hand stops just above the doorknob. ❝ Lizzie … ❞ the name falls off her lips sounding like a prayer at this point. Hope turns on her heels to look at the other when they mention being unable to sleep. ❝ I - ❞ this is the moment where Hope could just walk away. Could go lay in her bed until the night turns into early morning but she can’t.

❝ Have you ever been to a drive in diner at around midnight ? ❞It is an idea that pops into her head the longer that she stares at the blonde unable to find words to tell the other to just go to bed. They had a long day of dealing with the quarter’s unrest and problems that always seem to pop up. Lizzie had to be well rested as Hope doesn’t want to deal with the version of the blonde that has not had seven hours of sleep. ❝ Grab your shoes. We are going on a drive. ❞ Hope doesn’t waste another second as she allows the door to open. There was no need for fancy clothes or even for her to put on shoes that weren’t black black slippers. Just her keys and a blonde that makes her heart go pitter patter.

WITH HOW MUCH HER LIFE HAS BEEN SPENT STIFLED WITHIN THE BOUNDARIES OF MYSTIC FALLS, SHE CAN’T SAY THAT SHE HAS. Sure, they’d had their occassional spring break trip when they had the chance but there would always be some emergency or other dragging their dad back to the school. Their last attempt had been interrupted by the infamous fire, which the responsibility she now knows rests solely on Josie’s shoulders, and their mom’s been on ‘recruitment trips’ ever since.

“Not much of a normal night life in Mystic Falls.” As much as Lizzie postured and controlled, she was still the headmaster’s daughter. the ocassional party at the Old Mill might be acceptable but there was still a standard to uphold, an image to maintain in the eyes of her fellow students and the townies of Mystic Falls. (Not that it had ever done anything for her in the end - even fake dead, they couldn’t even be bothered to mourn her. She wonders what they’d think of her now?)

“Wait, seriously?” Still, she follows onwards, barely pausing to shove her feet into the closest pair of shoes, not letting herself agonise over their suitability to her current outfit, a small bit of magic reaching out and summoning her jacket in one hand, the other instinctively reaching out for the tribrid’s.

“You’ll have to show me round the city properly, some time.” Beyond the briefest of memories when she was little, Lizzie hasn’t had the pleasure of exploring the home of the one and only tribrid. She wants to walk the streets, see the sights, hear the music, to know the city that molded the girl before her. (From the brief glimpes she had on their way in, she wonders why Hope ever left.)

#you can't always control the things you do when you're feeling too much 「lizzie l. / ic」#Lizzie L & Hope Mikaelson / felttheburden

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disulta · 1 year ago

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@hcpemikaelscn x

❝ Have you ever been to a drive in diner at around midnight ? ❞ It is an idea that pops into her head the longer that she stares at the blonde unable to find words to tell the other to just go to bed. They had a long day of dealing with the quarter’s unrest and problems that always seem to pop up. Lizzie had to be well rested as Hope doesn’t want to deal with the version of the blonde that has not had seven hours of sleep. ❝ Grab your shoes. We are going on a drive. ❞ Hope doesn’t waste another second as she allows the door to open. There was no need for fancy clothes or even for her to put on shoes that weren’t black black slippers. Just her keys and a blonde that makes her heart go pitter patter.

“Wait, seriously?” Still, she follows onwards, barely pausing to shove her feet into the closest pair of shoes, not letting herself agoniseover their suitability to her current outfit, a small bit of magic reaching out and summoning her jacket in one hand, the other instinctively reaching out for the tribrid’s.

#* godhood is just like girlhood; a begging to be believed in 「ic」#& Hope Mikaelson / hcpemikaelscn

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mackenzielovee · 2 years ago

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parenthood part twenty three: forever & always, and then some

a/n: oh boy! 12k words to (hopefully) feed your parenthood craving. i am already dying to know what you all think of this, so please don't hesitate to hop into the comments or my ask box to talk! hope you enjoy! reblogs are appreciated :)

warnings: angst warning. swearing, verbal arguments, anxiety, panic attack, crying, kissing

ambivalence masterlist , parenthood masterlist

The Island Club hasn’t changed one bit since you were employed here and running drinks around to Rafe and his friends before you knew he even had a crush on you. As you watch the waitresses make their rounds to the same customers, serving the same food to the same tables, you chuckle to yourself at the thought of ever having to deal with that again.

Scott sits across from you, fidgeting in his seat slightly as he holds himself back from pulling a cigarette from his pocket. You skim over him, taking in his appearance.

His hair is freshly cut and the rosiness is back in his cheeks after having disappeared for so long. He’s eating three meals a day again, and to you, it seems his only unhealthy habit is smoking. In time, you’re sure he will move past that.

“How’re the kids?” he asks, looking up at you.

“They’re good,” you reply, “They’re busy bees lately. Connor is starting on a soccer team, so Rafe’s been helping him practice.”

“That’s awesome,” Scott grins, and the sight makes you smile, “Kid always has had one hell of a kick. What about Josie girl?”

You chuckle, “She’s all about dance, recently. She wants me to sign her up for a class, and I’ve been trying to get this teacher to call me back about getting her in.”

“Wow. Good for her. She’s so driven, Y/N. They both are.”

“Yeah, they’re something,” you laugh.

He gives you a smile, but it fades fast before he asks, “And, Rafe?”

“He’s doing really well. He’s less stressed at work, and he’s spending a lot of time with the kids.”

Scott nods, “Is he still… y’know? Pissed at me?”

You sigh and look down at your lap, unwilling to respond right away. Rafe’s feelings toward Scott have been complicated ever since he showed up to the house and scared the shit out of you and the kids, even though you’ve worked through it and have encouraged Rafe to do the same. Your loyalty to your brother runs deeper than Rafe’s does — because, as he puts it, he will always choose the safety and security of his family. Especially his children.

“He’s not pissed, Scott,” you say carefully.

“Right, he’s just done with me,” he laughs dryly, “Look, it’s fine, Y/N. I get it.”

You nod, and when your waiter drops your plates in front of you, you’re relieved when Scott eats his meal and has several glasses of water.

He tells you about the new job he just started and how he’s finally, officially, cut ties with Mae after she’s yanked him around for over a year. How he’s attending regular AA meetings and actually participating in them. He’s even made a few friends in the group, and they go out to eat together after their meetings to keep themselves busy.

By the time he pays for your lunch and walks you out to your car, you can’t help but pull him into a tight embrace. He hugs you back and gives you a wide smile, silently telling you that he really is doing better.

“So, listen, I was kinda hoping I could see them soon,” he says, clarifying, “The kids.”

You know you should run it by Rafe first, but the look in Scott’s eye and the pride swelling in your heart at his improvement has you answering faster than you should.

“That would be great,” you nod.

He smiles, “Perfect. How about Wednesday afternoon? I don’t have to be at work ‘til six. Do they have sports or anything?”

You hold up a finger and check the calendar on your phone, finding nothing for yourself or either of the kids on Wednesday after they get home from school.

“Wednesday works,” you reply, “I’ll bring them to your apartment.”

“Awesome,” he beams, then pulls you in for another hug, “Thank you so much, Y/N. I can’t wait.”

“The kids will be very excited,” you tell him, squeezing him tight.

He laughs lightly, sounding like himself and making you relax even more. He’s finally in a better place, and you couldn’t be happier about it.

Scott opens your car door for you and then closes it once you’re inside. He stands there and watches as you back out, then offers you a wave before you drive away. You smile the whole way home, thankful beyond belief that your brother is doing right by himself and improving his life where he needs it.

When you get home, Rafe is in the kitchen. You smile at the sight of him at the stove, stirring peppers around a skillet and listening to music. You can hear the kids playing in the playroom, and when Rafe notices you come in, he steps away from the food and to you.

“Hey, baby, how was lunch?” he asks, helping you remove your jacket.

“It was good,” you say with a smile, “Club hasn’t changed a bit.”

“Nah, I figured as much.”

He hangs up your jacket and your purse for you, then steps back over and guides his arm around your waist. You smile and set your hands on his chest, feeling his warmth.

“How are the kids?” you ask him.

“Josie hid Connor’s firetruck underneath the couch, and Bo got it,” he fills you in, watching your eyes pop in horror, “He was very distraught.”

“Oh, no, poor baby,” you pout, “I’ll see if I can find another one for him tomorrow.”

Rafe grins, “You’re so good to them, they don’t even know it.”

You laugh and grab ahold of his chin lightly, pulling him down to give him a kiss. He accepts it, then offers you a small apology as he momentarily breaks away to pull the skillet off the heat and to the back burner.

When he moves back to you, assuming the same position, you swallow your nervousness of breaching the topic, and instead, slip your hands under his shirt.

“So, listen,” you start, “Scott got a job. He’s working nights right now, and he goes after his AA meetings. He seems really, really good.”

He nods patiently, but you can tell by his eyes that he’s not receptive whatsoever to where you’re going to take this conversation.

“That’s good,” he replies, his voice even.

“Yeah, it is,” you say hopefully, rising up on your tiptoes, “So, anyway, he was asking if he could see the kids on Wednesday before he has to work.”

Rafe raises a brow, “And what did you tell him?”

You swallow again and press your palms into his skin, hoping your touch will lighten him up.

“Well, I… I think it’s a good idea. It would be good for him, and the kids miss him.”

Rafe’s chest deflates against your hands, and only because you know him so well can you predict what he’s going to say next.

“Look, sweetheart, I’m thrilled that Scott is doing better. I am. I just don’t think this is the best time for that. Josie’s still adjusting to school, and Connor’s getting settled in a new classroom and he’s on a sports team. I feel like they have enough change going on right now, you know?”

You nod slowly, but look to the floor. He covers your hands with his own and takes them, bringing both of your knuckles up to his lips to kiss. You meet his eyes then, and you both take a second to analyze the other person’s expression.

“It’s not really a change, though,” you push, keeping your voice light, “It’s just Scott.”

“Y/N, Scott scared the shit out of both of them when he showed up drunk.”

“I know, but he apologized for that,” you reply.

Rafe drops your hands, “That doesn’t make it okay. To be honest, I’m just not comfortable with it. I need more time to work through things with him. I’m sorry, but can we please table this for now?”

You move to speak up, but bite your tongue at the very last second when one specific thought hits you. If you told Rafe you weren’t comfortable with something, he’d never fight with you on it. He would never pressure you into anything, and the thought of doing that to him makes your stomach turn.

“Yes, of course,” you answer, “Thank you for being straight with me. We can talk about it when you’re ready.”

Rafe shifts and sets one large palm on your hip bone, where he pulls your body closer to his.

“I’m not saying no, sweetheart. I’m just saying that I’d like to give it a little more time and make sure Scott really sticks to this change before we bring the kids back into it. That’s all.”

You nod and offer him a smile, “I understand, Rafe. I think that’s perfectly reasonable.”

“Thank you,” he says sweetly, “Now, Connor and I are making a grocery store run. Need anything?”

You step closer, “Coffee. And laundry pods for the washer. But not the blue and white ones—”

“The green and yellow ones, I know,” he teases, “I also put a stick of deodorant on the list for you, considering you went to throw it in the garbage this morning and fuckin’ banked the shot.”

“Excuse me,” you scoff, even though your heart swells at the fact that he not only noticed that, but also remembered it and put it on the list, “We need more bananas, too. You know what Josie’s like when we run out of those for her lunch.”

He laughs, “Yeah. Okay. Bananas, coffee, and laundry pods. I’ve got the rest of the list, but text me if you remember anything okay?”

“Okay,” you smile, “Thanks, handsome.”

He nods and signals for a kiss, grinning when you stand up on your tiptoes to give to him. When you pull back, he yells for Connor, knowing Josie will come running, too.

“Oh, hey, did that lady ever call you back about Josie’s dance class?” he asks.

“No,” you groan, “I’m hoping she will in the next few days. Otherwise, I’ll look somewhere else. I just heard that place is so good, I really wanted her to try it out.”

He shrugs, “She’ll be great anywhere. Come on, Connor! Shoes and jacket, hurry!”

He kisses you again quickly before he pulls away to get his own shoes and jacket, finishing in record time so he could steal just a few more kisses before the Sunday chores officially start.

Monday comes before you know it, and it brings a wave of destruction. Your meetings all get delayed, your work project is put on suspension, and Rose is driving you crazy about an upcoming event that you’re not even technically assigned to.

Even more than that, Josie had a day. She refused to let go of you when you dropped her off at preschool, and after you managed to escape, they called you twice and Rafe once to report that she would not stop crying and demanding one of you to come get her. Being the parent at home on Mondays, Rafe picked her up, and she sat with him in his home office for the remainder of the day.

Tuesday morning finds you easier. You’re seated at your desk and fire up your work email after dropping both kids off at school — Josie did better today — when you realize that you never told Scott that the plans for tomorrow are off.

You draft up a text message slowly over the next few hours, trying to sound equal parts assertive and sympathetic. At one o’clock, right before you send the text, your drafting is interrupted by a phone call. The nurse at Connor’s school tells you that he’s been running a fever and complaining of a stuffy nose and sore throat since before lunch. You sigh and agree to be right there to get him, then hit send on the text to Scott without thinking twice about it.

You return home with both Connor and Josie behind you. Well, Josie walks behind you while Connor lays in your arms, mumbling softly about how he feels cold despite his fever being high. Josie helps you the best she can to get Connor settled in his room, where you lay him in bed and put a light blanket over him, then get him a cup of water and take his temperature once more. It’s still high, so you give him a kiss and tell him to sleep for a bit before you come back up to check on him.

“Is Connor okay, Mommy? Can we make him some soup?” Josie asks as the two of you slip out of his bedroom.

You smile and pick her up, giving her a hug since you didn’t get to when you picked her up from school.

“We should make him some soup,” you agree, “And, I’m sure you’re ready for your after-school snack, too.”

She grins mischievously, “Maybe.”

You laugh and carry her downstairs to the kitchen, where your phone sits on the counter. The screen fills with unanswered texts, so you set Josie down and grab it, scrolling through the messages.

The first one you open is Rafe’s chain. Two from him — both exactly what you expected them to be.

Just got a notification you checked Connor out of school? Is everything okay?

I’ve got a meeting in half an hour but I can come home after if you need me.

You look over at Josie, watching as she uses the handle on the bottom oven as a balance beam for ballet. Your heart squeezes, and you make a mental note to reach out to other dance studios in the area tomorrow.

Quickly, you text Rafe back while stepping over to the pantry to get Josie a snack.

He’s sick, but okay. Slight fever and head cold. Nothing to worry about. Good luck on your meeting, handsome. I love you.

He returns the sentiment quickly, while also reminding you to call him if things change. Then, as you pour animal crackers into a bowl, you switch over to Scott’s text chain.

First, you reread the text you sent to him.

Hey, so I discussed things with Rafe, and we have decided to hold off on allowing the kids to come over. For now. We think it’s best to give you some more adjustment time, and then we can revisit the idea. I’m sorry, Scott. But, I will try to do better by sending you more pics of them. Just hang in there. Love you.

You know it’s not perfect, but it has to do. It gets your point across, it doesn’t blame Rafe, and it’s sugar coated just enough for him.

His reply follows your message, and the length looks drastically different.

Y/N, I’m adjusted. I just want to see them. Didn’t you tell Rafe I’m doing better? Why is he keeping them from me?

“Mommy!” Josie calls, standing at the kitchen window, “There’s a red bird on the fence!”

You frown at Scott’s text but lock your phone, then carry Josie’s snack over to her. You look out the window to where she’s pointing and find the cardinal that’s holding her attention so well.

“Wow, beautiful, huh?” you ask, and she nods before you say, “Okay, come on. Let’s sit at the table and have a snack.”

She obeys and sits in her usual seat at the table, smiling widely when you follow her. You sit with her while she eats and talk to her about her day at school, listening intently even as she tells you the same story for ten entire minutes.

You perk up when you hear the front door close. You know Rafe wouldn’t be coming into the house with his meeting coming up, and a fresh wave of worry passes through your body.

“Y/N?”

You relax when you hear Scott’s voice, but only for a second. He knows he’s not allowed to come to the house; you had talked Rafe out of taking Scott’s key from him after his latest episode.

Josie, like you, recognises the voice, and practically tips her chair right over as she attempts to get up.

“Uncle Scott!”

Her scream is loud, and she takes off from the kitchen before you can stop her. You groan internally, scrambling to already try and figure out what you’re going to say to Rafe. Despite it all, you follow Josie out of the kitchen and to the foyer, where she is currently diving into Scott’s open arms.

“Hey, lovebug,” he grins widely, “Wasn’t sure you’d be home from school yet. I’m so happy to see you!”

She locks herself around his neck and presses kiss after kiss to his cheek, laughing when he laughs.

“I’ve missed you,” she tells him, ��Where have you been?”

He smiles sadly, then returns her kisses with his own, “I’ve been getting myself together. For you and Connor. Are you proud of me?”

“Yes,” she giggles, “Want to have an after school snack with me?”

His smile at her question tells you just how much the question means to him, and when he looks over at you for approval, you just can’t say no. Not to Scott; not to your baby brother who has struggled so much for so long, and just needs a little bit of love to keep him going. You can’t fault him for that, and no part of you is able to even consider kicking him out. Even if it’s not what you and Rafe have discussed and agreed on, you hope that when you explain, he will understand.

You nod your head, and he turns and kisses her cheek again, like he just can’t help himself.

“I would love to,” he agrees.

Scott carries her into the kitchen and you follow. He sets her down and lets her run over to her chair, but he hangs back just long enough to talk to you.

“I’m sorry, I just came over to talk about your text. I didn’t think she’d be here—”

“It’s fine,” you reply, waving him off, “Connor’s home sick from school, so I picked her up because I can’t leave him to go get her later.”

He nods, “Do you need me to bring you anything for him? Soup? Gatorade?”

“No, I have it covered,” you reply, “Go. She’s waiting so patiently for you.”

He chuckles when he sees her sitting on her knees in the chair, waving him over with an animal cracker half shoved into her mouth. Without hesitation, he rushes over and takes a seat beside her, stealing one of her animal crackers and laughing when she protests.

You puff out your cheeks and check the time, wondering if you can squeeze in a quick call to Rafe before his meeting. When you decide you can’t, you set your phone back down. You’re here, you’re supervising, and he won’t be mad, you tell yourself. Scott can’t do anything wrong with you here, too.

Your phone’s sharp ring draws you out of your head. When you look to see who’s calling, you gasp and practically pounce on the phone — the dance school that you’ve been trying to get Josie into.

“Hello?”

“Hi, Mrs. Cameron?”

“Yes,” you reply.

“Hi there. My name is Chelsea, I’m calling to see if you are still interested in signing your daughter, Josephine, up for dance class?”

“Yes,” you say enthusiastically, waving to Scott and then holding up your finger as you step into the living room, “Yes, I am. She’s really excited to start.”

“Oh, wonderful. We actually have an opening today in our three o’clock class. It’s only one spot, but if you could bring her by today, I can almost guarantee it would be hers.”

You freeze, “Today?”

“Yes ma’am. Spots here tend to go fast, but I saw your last name, and we wanted to offer you and your daughter the spot, first.”

“Oh,” you say, brain running a mile a minute as you try to figure out how to make this all work out, “Um, yes, thank you, we’d love the spot. I just have a few things to work out, but I will do my best to get her there by three o’clock. Does she need to bring anything?”

“We’ll just do a trial run for today, so we have everything she will need here. If you all are interested in continuing after today, we can give you a list of everything she will need for future classes.”

You barely even hear her words, too busy trying to figure out how you’re supposed to be in two places at once. You want Josie to be in this dance school desperately, but with Connor being so sick, you don’t know how to make it happen.

“Thank you, I’ll try to work it out and have her there at three,” you say, trying to sound more chipper than you are, “Thank you so much for calling.”

“Yes ma’am. See you soon!”

You disconnect the call and let out a long sigh, having wanted that phone call to come at a better time than just now. You wander back into the kitchen and find Scott and Josie still giggling at the kitchen table, and when they both look over at you, you offer a smile.

“Who was that?” Scott asks.

You give Josie a smile, “It was the dance studio I’ve been trying to get Josie into. They have an opening for this afternoon.”

“No way!” she exclaims, “Mommy, we have to go!”

Scott can see it on your face before you can even say a word. He watches as you subconsciously glance back over your shoulder, desperate to check on Connor and not sure what to do. Under normal circumstances, you’d call Rafe — at least to just talk it out. But with him in a meeting and unavailable, you don’t have that option.

“I can take her,” Scott volunteers, “I know you won’t leave Connor, so let me take her to dance. Just there and back, I promise.”

“Yes!” Josie screams, “Yes, yes, yes, yes, Mommy, yes!”

You shake your head, “Scott—”

“Y/N, let me help you out,” he says, “Come on. I can do it.”

“Mommy,” Josie repeats, “I want Uncle Scott to take me to dance.”

“Scott,” you whisper, “You’re not even supposed to be here.”

“And you’re drowning,” he points out, “I swear. I can totally handle it. I’ll even video the whole thing for you. Please, come on, let me prove myself to you. To Rafe.”

At the mention of your husband, your eyes find your phone. You want to call him more than anything, but you can’t. Then, you think about the agreement amongst parents when they’re raising children together. There are so many split second decisions that a parent has to make, so they trust that their partner will make the right one. Rafe trusts that you will make the right decision for your shared children, and right now, you can only see one.

“Okay,” you sigh. Josie’s squeals interrupt you and Scott grins, grabbing her from her chair as you add, “Just there and back. No ice cream, no playground. Just to the studio and back, alright?”

“Alright,” Scott repeats back, still smiling, “We’re gonna have so much fun, right, lovebug?”

“Right!” she squeals.

“Josie, go get your shoes, okay?” you say, watching her nod feverishly, like she just can’t wait for Scott to put her down so they can go to dance.

“Okay!” she says quickly, rushing off.

Scott laughs as he watches her go, and when he turns back to you, his expression falls.

“I need you to take extensive notes,” you say sternly, watching his smile grow once more.

“You got it,” he replies.

You allow yourself to smile, too, and he pulls you into a hug. He squeezes his thankfulness into you, and only pulls away when Josie returns with her shoes.

You hurry upstairs to check on Connor after putting Josie in her car seat and into Scott’s truck. As you feel Connor’s forehead, he stirs and groans, but he still feels very warm.

“Mama?” he whispers into the air.

“Hey, baby,” you reply, “How do you feel?”

“Not good,” he whines, “I’m cold. And I need a tissue.”

You grab the box from his nightstand and offer him one, then help him sit up. He blows his nose and hands the tissue back to you, then lays back down.

“Go back to sleep. I’ll bring you some more medicine in a little bit, okay?”

He nods. His lower lip juts out in the pout he always gives you when he’s sick, so you lean down and kiss his forehead before you stand. You retuck his blanket around him, then use careful steps to escape the dark room.

Downstairs, you hurry into the kitchen and start heating up from soup for Connor, then pour out the next dose of his medicine. You make him a nice tray of everything so he can eat in bed; complete with crackers, a water bottle, and his iPad so he can watch a show while he eats. Just as you’re putting the finishing touches on it, ready to take it upstairs and check on him again, your phone buzzes on the counter. And buzzes. And buzzes.

Scott’s contact picture lights up your screen, and you furrow your brows as you check the time. They should just be getting to the dance studio, and you wonder if someone had questions for him that he couldn’t answer.

“Hello?” you say innocently.

“Y/N,” he sighs, almost in relief, but his voice also holds another emotion, too, “Listen, don’t freak out.”

You freeze, “What? Why?”

The worst possible scenarios go through your brain instantly, and you begin to listen for signs of Josie in the background. Her laugh, her whine at Scott to hurry up.

“Just let me get it all out, first,” he demands, then groans in pain, “Fuck, okay, we got into an accident. Josie is fine. Not hurt at all. I think I broke my arm, so I’m in an ambulance. They’re taking both of us to the hospital, but she’s right here, she’s good, she’s with me.”

You suddenly can’t suck in a deep breath. All you can picture is Josie in the back of an ambulance, hurt. Josie in a car accident. Josie being scared because she doesn’t understand what’s happening.

Tears blur your vision just at the thought of her being alone, and the inhale that you try to suck in is sharp and quick.

“Let me speak to her,” you choke out.

Scott sighs but complies with your request, and you listen to their muffled voices before you get clarity.

“Mommy, Uncle Scott is hurt,” she tells you, and just the sound of her voice brings relief to your body, mind, and heart.

“Josie, baby, are you okay?” you ask her, letting the tears run without a care in the world.

“Yes, Mommy. They let me put the siren on.”

You laugh, then cry again, “Oh, that’s awesome. Listen, Mommy’s gonna come pick you up, okay? Can you just stay with Uncle Scott for a little bit?”

Josie immediately whines, “No, he’s hurt. I have to stay with him. I told Daddy I am staying.”

A fresh wave of anxiety runs through your body. The thought hadn’t even crossed your mind yet, but apparently, it had to Josie.

“You told Daddy?” you ask weakly, “When?”

“I called him,” she answers, “I was scared, and wanted Daddy.”

“Oh,” your eyes flutter shut, “Okay, honey. Just stay with Uncle Scott until I see you. I love you so much, Jo.”

“Love you, too, Mommy,” she says, sounding perfectly fine, perfectly normal, and all you want to do is get to her.

She hands the phone back to Scott, and you hear him grunt again in pain before his voice comes through the speaker.

“”Y/N, I’m sorry,” he says quietly, “It wasn’t my fault, I swear, I did everything right—”

“I’m on my way,” you cut him off, not wanting to hear any of the details right now, “Just… I love you. I’m glad you’re okay other than the arm.”

He takes a minute to answer, and you can see the exact expression on his face as he debates what’s best to do right now.

“Thanks,” he eventually says, “I love you, too.”

“See you soon,” you mumble, then disconnect the call before either one of you can say anything else.

The first thing you do is check your text messages. Rafe has sent nothing, said nothing. When it comes to Rafe, you know silence from him is worse than anything else. You take a deep breath and attempt to type out a text to him, but delete it before you can find the words to explain to him any part of it.

With a long sigh, you hurry up the stairs and into Connor’s room, forgetting all about his soup and medicine. He sits up when you enter, and when he sees the expression on your face, his eyes widen.

“What’s wrong, Mama?” he asks, coughing after he finishes his question.

“We have to go, baby. Can you come with me, please?”

He nods and stands from his bed, bringing his blanket along with him. You put socks on his feet and slide his shoes on, then carry him down the stairs, wrapped in his blanket. Your mind can’t stop running wild as you picture Josie in Scott’s truck, scared out of her mind. You don’t even notice the tears that fall until Connor reaches up and brushes them away with his finger. Giving him a kiss on the forehead, you strap him into his car seat and pull back to look at his face.

“I’m so sorry, handsome,” you whisper, “I know you don’t feel well, but we have to go pick up Josie.”

“Okay, Mama,” he replies, even going so far as to offer you a small smile.

You’re grateful for it, and you show him such. With a kiss on the cheek, you close the car door and climb into the driver’s side, all while trying not to burst into tears again.

Your knuckles turn white as you squeeze the steering wheel, glancing up at Connor every five seconds in the rear view mirror. He’s still okay, still staring out the window, but you’re paranoid about every single car that even comes close to yours.

The drive to the hospital finally comes to an end, and you’ve barely parked your car before you’re out of it again. Connor is once again placed on your hip, and you rush in from the parking lot.

Once you’re inside, you hurry to the closest nurse you can find. She directs you to a desk, who directs you to another nurse, who, finally, tells you what room number to go to. Connor buries his head in your neck and starts to cough again, and the guilt piles on top of your chest.

You finally spot the room number on the wall and rush to it, just needing to lay eyes on her. To assess her for injuries and make sure that she really is okay. When you enter, you relax instantly. Scott is laying in the bed with his arm in a sling, and Josie is seated in the middle of his chest, giggling as he pokes her stomach. They both look so happy despite their current state and what they’ve been through in the past hour.

“Josie,” you sigh in relief, setting Connor down in the singular chair before hurrying to her and pulling her into your arms.

“Mommy,” she cheers, “Look, Uncle Scott got a boo-boo.”

You cradle her head and rock her in your arms, then glance at Scott. He’s giving you a sad smile and a wave using his bad arm, but you shake your head at him.

“Is it broken?” you ask him.

“Yeah,” he replies with a shrug, “I’ll get a cool brace for it, though.”

You roll your eyes, “Scott—”

“Y/N,” he stops you, his expression suddenly serious, “The guy ran a red light. I didn’t even see him coming until— Look, I’m so sorry. It wasn’t my fault.”

“I know,” you nod, and you mean it.

He’s your brother, and you believe him. Especially because he needs you to so desperately, given that he won’t stop trying to explain himself.

“Good. Now, I have to use the bathroom, then I want to see what’s going on with Little Cam. You don’t look so hot, dude.”

Connor shrugs, “Been better.”

Scott chuckles and stands from the hospital bed, taking two steps over to Connor.

“You like my sling?” he asks.

“Yeah,” Connor smiles, “Does it hurt?”

“No, I’m tough.”

Connor laughs and so does Josie, and for a brief moment, you feel emotionally stable. You feel at peace, knowing that everyone is okay.

Then, the door pushes open, and reality slaps you right in the face. You turn too late, and Rafe’s eyes have already assessed the room. He’s frozen for a moment, long enough for you to set Josie down, because you know she’ll want to run to him.

Instead of waiting on that, however, Rafe crosses the room in a few strides, and you figure out just a beat too late what’s going to happen.

With a clenched jaw and a balled fist, Rafe states at Scott right as he starts to explain what happened.

“Yo, Rafe—” he starts, but Rafe’s fist connects with his jaw and knocks him flat on the ground.

“Oh, my God,” you yell, grabbing Josie and holding her against you while you reach for Connor’s hand.

Your only focus is getting them both out of the room. You know Scott can fight his own battles, and there’s nothing you can do to talk to Rafe when he’s like this. Looking like he knows this, Scott remains on the ground, leaving Rafe with nothing. He’s dead silent as he turns and faces you and the kids, looking away from you within the same second your eyes meet.

“Josephine,” Rafe says in relief, crossing over to you and pulling her from you without a word or a look, “Hey, princess. My girl. I was so worried about you. Are you okay?”

She nods, “Yes, Daddy. I just got scared.”

“I know you did, baby. I’m so sorry I wasn’t there to comfort you. Do you have any injuries?”

Josie doesn’t respond right away, and you take it as an opportunity.

“She’s okay. I checked her when I got here.”

Rafe’s eyes flicker to you for only a moment. It’s the first time you’ve ever seen him look at you with anything besides pure admiration and love. This time, his glance is cold, calculated, and practically unrecognizable.

“Let me take you home,” he says to her, “I’m gonna take you home, and nobody will ever take you anywhere again.”

“Except for you?” she asks.

“Except for me,” he replies with a nod, “Let’s take Bubby home, too, okay?”

Your heart sinks as Rafe looks down at Connor, who is gripping his blanket tightly. When Rafe offers him a hand, Connor slips out of your grasp and takes it.

You frown, “I can take—”

“Y/N, I’m so damn pissed right now. You need to stay with your brother, since that’s clearly where you want to be.”

He doesn’t even look at you as he says it, which is what makes the tears come. He’s too busy fussing over Josie’s hair and Connor’s runny nose. Rafe grabs him a tissue, then tosses it when Connor’s done.

You look over at Scott and find him still seated on the floor, blood running down his chin from his nose, and he’s just staring at the kids. You’re sure he thinks this could be his final time seeing them in a long time, and you feel sick over that.

“Rafe,” you choke out, “Please, just listen—”

“No,” he snaps, “Not to you. I’m taking them home.”

Connor whimpers, but when Rafe takes his hand again, he doesn’t object as his dad starts to lead him out of the room. Nobody says a word, and before you can blink, the three of them are gone.

“Fuck,” Scott groans from the floor, “Y/N, I’m so—”

“Don’t,” you shake your head, turning back to him and observing his state before stepping over and offering him a hand, “Let’s just get you cleaned up.”

Scott gets released from the hospital a few hours later, and you drive him back to his apartment. Neither of you speak about anything other than the weather and your parents, because neither of you know what to say. You want to pretend like everything is fine. At least for now.

You set him up on his couch with dinner, snacks, and a blanket, then let him know that you love him no matter what. In return, he offers you his room if you need a place to crash, and you almost burst into tears right then and there.

By the time you make it home, you know the kids will already be in bed. You debate taking the long way, but the fact that Connor is sick draws you back to the house so you can check on him.

You pull your car into the garage and shut it off, then get out quickly before you can debate sitting inside for a while. You sigh and push open the door to the house, not knowing exactly what you’re walking into with Rafe.

The house is dark and silent. There’s no plate of dinner sitting on the counter for you like he usually leaves behind, and no light on in the living room to guide your path to bed. With a heavy heart, you head upstairs and peek your head into Connor’s bedroom. He’s sound asleep with a box of tissues and an empty medicine cup on his nightstand.

Of course Rafe took care of everything.

Quietly, you close his bedroom door and cross the hall over to Josie’s bedroom. When you peek in, you find her bed to be empty, but her stuffed animals are missing. Immediately, you know where she is.

You hesitate at the door to your shared bedroom with Rafe for a brief moment, then push open the door and walk inside. Rafe’s bedside lamp is on, which allows you to see him lying on his side of the bed on his side, with Josie facing him. She’s tucked in his arms and sleeping soundly, but Rafe is wide awake and watching every single breath she draws.

He never looks over at you. For a moment, you wonder if he even realizes you came into the room. When your lips part to speak, no sound comes out. You don’t know what to say or where to start.

“She could’ve been killed,” Rafe says evenly, like he’s stating a fact rather than getting emotional. His eyes don’t leave her for even a split second.

“Rafe—” you start, but he sits up carefully.

“Don’t wake her. I just got her to sleep.”

You silence yourself and stare at the two of them for a few seconds, unsure of what to do. After a moment, Rafe leans forward and brushes his lips over Josie’s forehead, then stands from the bed. He walks over to you, watching as you stand completely still in hopes that he’ll just take you into his arms and tell you that everything will be okay. Instead, he clenches his jaw and points to the door of the bedroom, silently telling you to walk through it.

Rafe follows out of the room behind you and closes the door softly. You walk out to the couch and sit down, watching his movements extra carefully. He’s in sweatpants and a black tee shirt that you’ve always loved on him, but never told him so.

You watch as he takes a deep breath, then places his hands on his hips. He doesn’t sit; he stands in front of you and keeps his eyes on anything but you.

“Why was she with your brother?”

His tone is harsh; like nothing you say in this moment could make sense to him. None of it will make any difference at all.

“Um,” you shift, your voice shaky, “She— no, okay, the dance studio called and— wait—”

“Y/N,” Rafe stops you, exhaling loudly, “I just want you to explain why she was with your brother.”

You nod, “Okay. Sorry. So, I texted Scott and told him that we weren’t comfortable having the kids see him right now. He came over here to talk to me in person, thinking the kids weren’t home, and Josie saw him. So, naturally, she wouldn’t let him go, and he was just gonna have a snack with her and then leave. But, then, that dance studio called and said they had a spot for Josie this afternoon, and the spot was going to be given away if we couldn’t make it. I didn’t want to leave Connor, and Scott offered, and— Rafe, I’m sorry.”

He shakes his head, hands still proudly glued to his hips. His eyes close under the explanation, and the way his jaw is set tells you that, although it might make sense to him, he still isn’t happy or satisfied with the explanation.

“You should have called me,” he says quietly, “I would’ve helped you work it out. I would’ve come home.”

“You were in a meeting, I didn’t want to bother you—”

“Bother me, Y/N!” he exclaims, silencing you, “Bother me. Every time. If it means I don’t get the fucking call that one of my kids has been in a car accident with someone I didn’t even want them around in the first place. How could you let her go with Scott? After we discussed it and agreed that he was off limits, you just—”

“I didn’t see any other choice,” you speak up, “I didn’t want them to give the spot away.”

“Let them give the damn spot away, then!” he cries, shaking his head, “I told you, she’d be fine dancing anywhere, but you were so dead set on this one place, and that was fine with me until you shipped her off with your brother and he almost got our daughter killed—”

“Rafe, the accident wasn’t his fault,” you say, finally having the courage to stand, “He loves her. He would never put her at risk.”

He laughs then, and it’s deep, loud, sarcastic. Your eyes hit the floor and you swallow, wanting nothing more than his touch. Despite Rafe being the one causing the ache in your chest, you know he’s the only one who can fix it. He’s the only one who can ever fix it.

“He did put her at risk, Y/N. Many times. Every time he showed up drunk, every time he stumbled down the stairs. It’s not a fucking coincidence that this happened when she was with him.”

You draw back, shaking your head, “That’s not fair. It could’ve happened to anyone. It could’ve been me—”

“Don’t,” he says immediately, stepping closer to you, “Don’t you dare go there. It wouldn’t have. It can’t.”

“Why not, Rafe?” you question, raising a brow, angry that he wants to blame everything on Scott when you don’t feel it’s his fault, “You’d blame Scott for everything if you could. If I had decided to take Josie to dance, it would’ve been me and the kids at that intersection—-”

“No!” he shouts, silencing you once again, “Stop it. It can’t happen again, Y/N. I almost lost you once, it cannot fucking happen again.”

Your lips glue shut as you realize what this is truly about for him. He runs a hand through his hair and sucks in a deep breath, letting the silence fall between the two of you.

You know exactly how Rafe has internalized the accident you were in the night of Midsummers with Topper and Kelce. You know, because he’s told you. How he had nightmares for ages afterward, how he still will grip the steering wheel with two hands when he drives with you in the car at night. How he thinks about it every year at Midsummers, regardless of how much time has passed.

Now, you can’t imagine what this will do to him. His Josie, his baby girl. Getting that call was not easy on him, you’re sure, and for a moment, you understand why he’s so angry with you for putting him in that situation.

“Rafe,” you whisper, watching the way he looks up at you with vulnerability in his eyes, “I’m so, so sorry.”

He nods, like he really just needed to hear that. You take a step closer, but before you can reach for him, he steps back.

“I need to sleep on it all. We can regroup in the morning.”

You swallow and nod, unsure of what to do with your hands. You settle for tucking them behind your back, squirming under his gaze.

“I’ll sleep upstairs. In case Connor needs anything,” you say.

“Alright,” he nods, looking at you like he’s considering something.

“Alright,” you repeat.

He sighs, like he’s annoyed with himself, then steps forward and cups your cheeks. He stares at you for a moment before placing a kiss on your forehead forcefully, then drops you from his grip completely.

You step forward out of habit, wanting his touch back. Instead of reaching for him, you just stare, knowing that he can tell what you want but refuses to give it to you.

“I love you, Rafe,” you whisper to him.

Even as angry as he is, he doesn’t miss a beat, “I love you, too.”

He nods, then turns around and leaves you like that. In the middle of the living room with his kiss still lingering on your forehead, and his words sitting in front of you, etching themselves into your heart so you never forget them.

When you wake in the morning, your first thought is of Connor. You don’t allow yourself to think of anything else, because it weighed on you all night, until you just couldn’t take it anymore. You cried in the guest room bed. Buried your face in a pillow and sobbed as you relived the day, your choices, and what became of them. You cry for Josie, for Rafe, for Scott. You cry because all you’d wanted to do was make the right choice for all of them, and you wound up only making the wrong ones.

So, when you wake up with swollen under eyes and a red nose, the only thing you allow yourself to think about is Connor.

He’s asleep when you enter his room, and when you feel his forehead, he feels the same as he had last night. You make a mental note to bring up more medicine for him, then take his temperature.

Slipping back out of his room, you head downstairs. Your stomach twists as you hear Rafe talking to Josie in the kitchen, and the thought of facing him without knowing exactly how he feels today makes you anxious.

As you walk in, you find Josie sitting on the counter and Rafe at the stove, where he flips a pancake in the pan. Josie giggles at something he said, and Rafe laughs back. His eyes catch on you, and for a brief moment, he smiles. Then, he drops it and looks down.

“Hi, Mommy!” Josie cheers, “Daddy’s staying home today! He said I could, too.”

“He did, huh?” you smile at her, walking around the island to embrace her.

“Thought I could, considering we’re not consulting each other on decisions anymore,” Rafe mutters.

For Josie’s sake, you ignore him, but you stare at him while you do it. In no way can you tell Rafe how to feel or act, but you’re shocked at how openly petty he’s being.

“Rafe—”

He cuts you off when he spins around with a plate in his hand, then gives Josie a wide smile.

“Alright, princess, your breakfast is ready. Go sit at the table for me.”

He carries Josie’s plate over as you help her down from the counter, then watch her take off to her seat. Once she’s settled, Rafe comes back into the kitchen, but he doesn’t spare you a single glance.

“How’d you sleep?” you try, stepping closer.

“I didn’t,” he replies as he pours more pancake batter into the pan, “She did. All night.”

You swallow, “Good. So, listen, I was hoping—”

“I’m taking her to my parents’ today. We’ll swim and visit with Topper and Ellie. I figure Connor needs quiet, anyway.”

“Oh, okay,” you nod weakly, “Do you think we could talk later, though?”

“I don’t know.”

You frown and look at the floor, then glance over at the coffee pot. What’s usually filled halfway for you is now empty, and you know the pancakes he’s making on the stove are for himself. It makes your heart ache, to think that he’s so angry with you that he no longer wants to take care of you.

“Rafe, I just… I want to fix it,” you practically beg, “Please.”

He drops the spatula on the counter before he turns to you, keeping his voice low on account of Josie.

“This isn’t just something you can fix, Y/N. You hurt me. You prioritize your brother over our kids and you always have. Every time he stumbles in drunk, you always tell him it’s okay. It’s not. This time, you let him take our daughter and they got into an accident. She could’ve gotten really hurt. I’m not okay with that, and I never will be. Until you can get your priorities straight, I’m not interested in what you have to say.”

You step back from him and swallow the lump in your throat. Instead of just rolling over, you want to explain your thought process — have an actual conversation instead of bickering over the stove.

“He’s sick, Rafe. He’s an alcoholic. Guilting him every time he comes to us like that isn’t going to help him,” you reply, trying to stay strong despite the tears stinging your eyes, “And, how dare you accuse me of not prioritizing our family. This is my top priority— my only priority. I made a judgment call, and I was wrong, I admit it. If I could go back and change it, I would.”

He shrugs, looking back down at the pancake, “But, you can’t.”

His left hand rests on the counter where he leans, supporting his body. You want to reach out and grab it, pull him into you and keep him close as you tell him that you’re sorry over and over again. You give in before you can help yourself, and when you cover his hand with your own, he doesn’t pull away immediately.

“Rafe, please,” you beg, but you’re not sure for what exactly. His eyes. His love. His forgiveness.

“Don’t,” he says, pulling hand from under yours, “You really hurt me this time.”

Before you can say anything else, he plates his pancakes, then turns to face Josie.

She grins when she sees him holding up his own plate, and he puts on his parent mask as he nears her.

“Can we eat together, baby?” he asks enthusiastically, and if you didn’t know any better, you’d think he was absolutely, positively, fine.

After Josie and Rafe leave, you bring Connor downstairs. You cuddle with him when he asks for it, you make him soup, give him more medicine, and watch Paw Patrol until he falls asleep on your lap.

You, however, don’t nap. You stare at your phone screen, at a drafted text to Rafe as your thumb hovers over the send button.

I hope you know that I didn’t mean to hurt you. Or Josie. I never would. The three of you are my priority. We can talk more when you’re ready, but I just want you to know that I’m thinking about what you said and I want to work this out with you more than anything. Please come home.

You debate taking off the plea for him to come home, but you decide to leave it and press send. When you see that it went through, you put your phone down and take a deep breath, then leave your eyes glued to the screen so you can see the second he responds.

When your phone does light up again, you pounce on it. You frown when you see Maddie’s name at the top of the new text, asking you why Rafe canceled the dinner plans that you two had with Maddie and Kelce tonight — which you’d completely forgotten about.

You reply quickly and tell her that Connor is sick, and debate asking her if she can talk on the phone so you can get advice. However, you decide against it and fire off your excuse just as Rafe’s response comes in.

We will pick up dinner and be there soon. How’s Connor?

You smile, because something about this feels like progress. Silently, you look down to the sleeping boy, running your hand through his hair because you just can’t help yourself.

He’s good. Sleeping off the fever, I hope. Thank you for getting dinner!

He won’t respond to that and you know it, but you don’t care. At least he gave you one response.

Connor wakes just before Josie and Rafe get home, and with a perfect temperature, he says he wants to stay downstairs for dinner. You nod and give him a hug, and when you hear the garage door open, you wave him up and into the kitchen.

“Mommy!” Josie shouts when she enters the house, “Look, Daddy got me a princess sticker!”

She holds it up to you proudly as you hug her tight, “Oh, I love it, Jo.”

She beams and moves over to show it to Connor as Rafe walks in. He holds a pizza in his left hand and Josie’s bag in his right. You don’t miss the name on the pizza box — your favorite place, meaning he had to drive fifteen extra minutes each way to get it instead of getting the easy, shitty pizza down the street.

“You got Lighthouse,” you say, biting your lip to hide a smile as you acknowledge his drive to the pizza place.

“Yeah, I—” he stops himself and closes his eyes, then shakes his head before repeating, “Yeah.”

You take a daring step forward, “Thank you.”

He nods once, and when you see him swallow down his impulse to reach for you, to hug you and kiss you and ask about your day, he looks over to the kids.

“Hey, Connor. How are you feeling, buddy?”

Rafe steps past you to get to him, and the pizza you’d just been swooning over suddenly doesn’t seem as appetizing. Regardless, you get plates out and divide up slices while Rafe works behind you to get everyone drinks. He pours juice out for the kids and tells them to sit at the table, then gets a beer for himself. He doesn’t ask you what you want because he already knows, and he sets the glass of white wine at your place setting.

Dinner is quiet, but you pretend it’s only because Josie is tired from swimming all day and Connor isn’t feeling well. Everything feels off because you and Rafe didn’t work today — you told Rose that Connor was sick — and Josie didn’t go to school. It feels like it should be a weekend, but it’s not.

You want to ask Rafe if he plans on going back to work tomorrow. If he wants to sleep next to you tonight, because you want to sleep next to him. You want to ask him everything, anything, just to get him to look at you.

After dinner, Rafe volunteers himself to do bath and bedtime, which leaves you downstairs to clean up the small mess from the meal. As you clean, you spot a tub of ice cream in the freezer and pull it out, smiling to yourself at your little idea.

When Rafe comes back downstairs, he doesn’t look for you. Instead, he makes his way into your shared bedroom, already peeling off his shirt in preparation for a shower when he freezes. You’re sitting on his side of the bed with two small bowls of ice cream and that pout on your lips that you know he loves. He visibly softens at the sight, and when you hold up the bowl, his jaw ticks.

“You’re something else,” he mutters, more to himself than to you, as he crosses the room shirtless.

You give him a small smile as he plants himself beside you and accepts the bowl. His knee touches yours, and you feel giddy inside when he doesn’t pull himself away.

“I’m trying, Rafe,” you whisper as he takes a bite, staring down at the bowl instead of you, “I’m trying to figure out what to do. Because I miss you. And I know I made a mistake. But I don’t want to cut my brother off in the process of working this out. He’s doing better, and I’m afraid that would trigger him into a relapse, or something.”

“I get that,” he murmurs.

“So, let’s talk about it. All three of us. Let’s set clear boundaries and we can even make a timeline—”

“Y/N,” Rafe practically laughs, “I already did that with you. I told you that I wasn’t ready. I set my boundary, and you crossed it.”

You swallow, “I know, but I think it will help if Scott is clued in, too. That way, wires don’t get crossed, and we can all—”

“We can all what?” he scoffs, standing up, “Live happily ever after? Scott can worm his way back into our kids’ lives? I cave on a lot of shit for you, Y/N, but this is not something you can ask me to do.”

“Rafe, I’m not asking you to change how you feel,” you reply, your voice small and pleading, as if silently begging him to sit back down with you, “Please, I’m not. I’m just trying to make everyone happy.”

He shakes his head and lets his eyes close, rolling them behind his lids, “That’s the problem with you. You’re always so focused on how everyone else feels. You’re so afraid to tell Scott ‘no’ because you’re afraid you’ll be responsible for a relapse if you do. You know what, Y/N? You’re allowed to be selfish. You’re allowed to stand up for yourself and our children. Scott is a grown ass man, and his choices are his own. You baby the fuck out of him, and it needs to stop.”

You digest Rafe’s words, letting them hang in the air between the two of you. On one hand, you want to fight back. You want to tell him that Scott is your family, and you’re just trying to help. On the other hand, you see how trying to help turned into Josie being in an accident. Then, you hear Rafe’s words in your head once more.

I cave on a lot of shit for you.

He does, and you know it. With a deep breath, you nod your head, willing to sacrifice for him the way he always does for you — without a second thought.

“Okay,” you whisper, watching his eyes dart to you, “Alright. I’ll take space. I’ll work on it. Whatever is best for you and the kids, I will do that.”

Rafe stares at you like that’s the last thing he expected you to say. His hands meet his hips and he assesses you from head to toe before swallowing.

“Maybe you should sleep on that decision,” he says carefully.

You shake your head, ignoring the stinging in your eyes. He watches you carefully as you stand up and step over to him, then place a gentle hand on his chest. You can feel his heart racing, and you want to smile at the thought of still being able to do that to him after all this time.

“I don’t need to. You’re right, I let people walk all over me because I don’t want to disappoint anyone. But, our marriage is my priority, and our children are my priority, and I need to do better. I’m sorry, Rafe, I’m so sorry.”

His eyes close when your lips ghost over his cheek. His fists ball at his sides as he fights the urge to pull you in, to forget it all and just let his body take over. You move down and kiss along his jawline, then back up to his mouth. You let your lips hover for a moment, giving him time to object, before you lean closer.

“Y/N,” he whispers at the very last second, “You can’t just tell me what I want to hear because we’re in a fight. You need to figure this shit out for yourself.”

“Rafe,” you sigh, but he shakes his head.

“I need some time, too. This really rattled me, and I need to figure out how I want to proceed.”

You furrow your brows, “How you want to proceed? Like, with us?”

You fear the answer more than anything, but you need to hear it.

“With everything,” he replies, “I just… I need sleep. So do you.”

You nod but don’t say a word, standing there and thinking about the melting ice cream that sits on your bed.

Rafe takes a deep breath and watches as you avoid his eyes, then sighs and steps forward. You think he might reach out to touch you, grab you, kiss you, anything. Instead, he picks up his pillow from his side of the bed and steps back, offering you half a smile.

“I’ll be on the couch,” he mumbles, “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight,” you reply.

He picks up the two ice cream bowls and carries them to the door, turning back and staring at the scene in front of him for a moment. You, still standing on his side of the bed, where you know you’ll sleep tonight.

“Love you,” he whispers.

“Love you, too.”

He nods and then closes the door behind him. Only then do you fall into his side of the bed and inhale his scent on the sheets, allowing your tears to fall right where you lay. You don’t grab a pillow, you don’t cover yourself with a blanket. You just cry until your body grows so tired that it forces you to sleep, with swollen eyes and a regretful heart.

You jolt awake to the sound of the doorknob to your bedroom rattling up and down a few times, which immediately has you sitting up in bed. Your first thought is that it’s Connor trying to get in because he’s sick, and your heart sinks at the thought of him having gotten worse.

Which is why, when Rafe comes rushing into the room, your eyes grow wide. He’s shirtless and his hair is a mess, but more than that, he looks completely terrified. Your heart races as he starts over to you at a fast pace, lips parted like he’s trying to speak, but can’t.

“Rafe, what is it?” you ask softly.

His breaths are shallow and jagged, and when he tries to inhale, it seems like he can’t. You scoot closer to the edge of the bed, and when he rounds the mattress and gets to you, he sinks to his knees in front of you.

“You’re okay,” he whispers in relief, beginning to check you from top to bottom with his eyes and hands, “Fuck, thank God.”

His palms grip your forearms and he flips them over to check for any sort of marking or injury, then moves down your body to your legs. He runs his hands over every square inch of your skin, and you let him.

“Of course I’m okay,” you reply, grabbing one of his hands in yours, “What’s wrong? What happened?”

He lets out a long breath, then shakes his head, but his hands never leave you. He grips you tight, like he’s afraid you’ll disappear if he lets go for even a moment.

“Nothing, nothing,” he rushes, “Just a bad dream, I guess. Felt real.”

You tense, “Are you having nightmares again?”

He shrugs, but when you cup his cheek with your free hand, he nods.

“Yeah,” he admits shyly, “I, um, I know we’re in a weird place right now, but—”

“Come to bed,” you demand, tugging him in.

He nods, as if that’s exactly what he wanted you to say. You scoot over just enough for him to crawl onto the mattress, then bury yourself in him the moment he’s laying flat. His arms wrap around you and your head presses against his heart; this time racing for a different reason.

Just as you settle and the room falls silent, you debate what to say. If you should ask any questions or just let him be. Rafe speaks, silencing your mind.

“Y/N,” he whispers into the darkness, “I have to tell you something.”

“Tell me,” you encourage, squeezing him slightly.

He takes a long moment to start, but when he does, you can tell by the shakiness in his voice that he’s emotional.

“I think part of the reason I got so upset with you was because I was very aware of the fact that it could’ve been the three of you at that intersection. Even though you let Scott take her against my wishes, you still made the right choice, somehow. Because, I swear, if I had gotten a call that all of you were at the hospital, I think I would’ve had a heart attack right then and there in my office.”

“Rafe,” you whine, cuddling closer.

He shakes his head, “Let me finish, okay, baby?”

“Okay,” you whisper.

“I’m terrified that something will happen one day. That I won’t be there to protect you, or stop it, or fix it, and this whole thing really brought that fear out of me. I know that I seem overprotective with the kids, especially with Scott, but I just can’t stand the thought of something happening to them. To you. You’re my entire world, Y/N. I just need you to understand that.”

“I do understand that,” you answer, heart hammering in your chest, “But, we also can’t live our lives in fear of what could happen. All we can do is take precautions and make informed decisions together. I fucked up, and I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt you, Rafe. I would never, ever do that on purpose. I love you too much to even consider it.”

He swallows roughly, “I know, sweetheart.”

You want to say more, to spill your guts and tell him every thought you’ve had for the past twenty four hours. Instead, you cuddle deeper into him and inhale his scent, then kiss his cheek.

“You should sleep, handsome,” you whisper against his skin, “I’m right here, and I’m okay. We’ll work it out in the morning.”

He nods, then presses a kiss into your hair, “I’m in love with you.”

“I’m in love with you, too,” you reply, “That means you’re stuck with me.”

He chuckles lightly, “Good.”

You smile against him, then kiss his cheek once more before you resign to laying your head on his chest. Both of you are asleep in seconds, surrounded in the warmth and love of the other.

When you wake up in the morning, your hands are both tangled in Rafe’s. You feel his smooth palms in yours and you smile before you even open your eyes to find him. When you do, he’s laying across from you, already wide awake. When his eyes meet yours, his lips tip up in a smile.

"What are you staring at?” you ask teasingly, shifting closer.

“My wife,” he replies in that morning voice that always seems to get you, “My beautiful, infuriating wife.”

You laugh, even though it shouldn’t be funny. He smiles a real smile then, and you bask in it. Having not seen it in what feels like forever, you want to keep it there for the rest of your life.

“Rafe,” you whisper. “I—”

“I know,” he stops you, tugging you closer, “I know you’re sorry. I don’t want to fight anymore.”

“Really?” you ask hopefully.

“Mhm,” he hums, “Can you just promise that you’ll call me the next time you don’t know what to do? No matter what?”

You nod, “I promise.”

“Thank you,” he says, then takes a breath before saying, “Now, about your brother.”

“I still want him in my life, Rafe. But, I’ll meet up with him and really discuss boundaries and everything. I’ll take the house key from him. I will do whatever makes you feel the most comfortable, but I won’t cut him out.”

He nods, “I’m not asking you to cut him out, baby. Not at all. You just need to be more firm with him. You know Scott, you give him an inch, he takes a mile.”

“I know,” you reply, dropping your shoulders at the evident quality your brother possesses, “I’ll work on being more assertive with my boundaries when it comes to him.”

“Good. You deserve to be appreciated and respected. You’re not a doormat for your brother and his issues.”

You know Rafe’s right, but you’re not ready to admit that that might just be what Scott has been doing to you. That he knows you’ll go easy on him, so he comes to you first. You haven’t wanted to see it, so you don’t.

“So, we’re okay?” you ask, biting your lip.

He stares at you for a moment, and you notice how his look of admiration has returned. You smile as he begins to nod, then squeeze his hand.

“We’re okay,” he replies, “Sorry if I scared you last night.”

“You did. Do you think our fight brought it on?”

He shrugs, “The fight. Josie being in the accident. I’m sure it will go away in the next few nights, as I calm down.”

You nod in understanding, then place a few gentle pecks onto his bare chest.

“If there’s anything I can do, tell me,” you murmur, “You’re never alone.”

“Thank you, baby.”

As much as you want to stay and bask in his body heat, you know you should get up to check on Connor and take him more medicine. Rafe can feel you tense as you prepare to move, and his grip tightens.

“Rafe—”

“He’s fine,” Rafe bluffs, “Don’t get up.”

“I have to.”

He laughs gruffly, then releases you. Reluctantly, you climb from the bed in your tank top and short shorts, eliciting a groan from Rafe where he lays. Without being able to contain himself, it seems, he reaches over and swats your backside as you escape from the bed, earning a jaw drop from you.

“Sorry,” he grins mischievously.

“Sure you are,” you mutter, “You’re lucky I love you.”

“I really am, sweetheart. I remind myself every day.”

You know he’s being his silly self, but the words bring butterflies to your stomach. You grin and turn back to look at him as you walk toward your bedroom door, taking a mental picture of him laying in bed with his shirt off and his hair messy. He’s practically begging you to come back to him, and for a moment, you strongly consider it.

“Don’t move,” you command, “I’ll be back in ten.”

He chuckles, “Yes ma’am.”

You hurry from the room and up the stairs, already missing Rafe’s heat and the comfort of your bed with him in it. You’re already making plans for when you return to your bedroom, because although fighting with Rafe is one of the worst things in your entire world, making up is your absolute favorite.

*i no longer have a tag list! follow @mackupdates for updates! thank you for reading <3

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supercorp-hosie · 4 years ago

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Josie and Lizzie personality, dynamics and popularity in reality

I've kind of done this before, like in my thoughts for 315. Now, I've made some additions to them, so I think why not start a new post? There are some points that remained the same with my thoughts for 315 and I've integrated some points from my rating of the writing of Legacies characters too.

Starting from Alaric being an absent father since the twins were 11. Caroline wasn’t there either. What’s left for Lizzie? Josie.

Josie had to handle herself and Lizzie alone. Sure Alaric might not always be absent, but the intensity of Lizzie’s perspective begs to differ. Josie had to understand Bipolar at a very young age; be there when Lizzie had her outburst; constantly checks on Lizzie to take her meds; digest the emotion impacts after the outburst; understand how Lizzie functions when she was down. None of that are easy. No one asks about how Josie feels. How she pent out? What does she need? Josie might feel the need to be not needing things and always be good so that she can get the love and attention from Alaric (in s1, Josie felt the need to lose the game to get on Alaric good side). As results, she just started to suppress her voice and her needs, because Lizzie needed them the most. Over time or years of suppressing in front of her dearest family, she most likely felt unneeded by her parents, and forgettable to her parents (the girl so quiet that her parents forget about her, the girl that Penelope won’t fight for anymore). She needed to feel needed, so she just let Lizzie take all of her, from whom she felt needed the most. It started a vicious cycle for the twins, shaped their dynamics and how Josie is in present days. Unfortunately, her problems were never solved, they accumulated, leaving the good and dark side from Josie being so separated and unbalanced, as no one has helped her to sort them out. The inner turmoil is always there, leading to the extreme polarity of Josie’s good and bad side.When she’s doing bad, she would be especially aggressive than she needed to be because that’s an instinct to compensate the lack of action before. After long suppression, once being released, the instinct would be stronger than usual and more uncontrollable. Under the influence of dark magic, Dark Josie felt like another personality taking over the whole Josie and protect their interests that true Josie are neglecting. Kind of like dissociative identity disorder but not really it? Fear the dog that doesn't bark.

From Lizzie perspective, we can see how she perceived Josie when they were little. Like Lizzie being princess but Josie being her android, personal valet? It just showed that after what Josie had endured and done, Lizzie thought of herself being princess but didn’t think Josie as her equal? Like Josie was programmed to bow to Lizzie. That’s the twins dynamic showing, partly Josie's mistake, but Josie deserved more than that, even when she’s derogatory to herself, Lizzie should uphold that for her. What really warms me from the Android situation, is that from how Josie is the combination of two Androids, showing that Lizzie actually looked up to Josie. For Lizzie, Josie can really take care of her so well that Lizzie can count Josie as her personal valet. Derogatory, yes, but that place is also very important to prince and princess. Remember that Lizzie can’t cook but Josie is like expert in cooking or baking? The knowledge for Android part means that in Lizzie’s mind, Josie actually is like the person who knows everything. Usually that figure should be our parents, but for Lizzie, Josie knows the answer to all. The fact that the special sword was in Josie’s thigh the whole time, just show the trust that Lizzie had in Josie. The security of her needs that Lizzie got from Josie and the validation Josie got from Lizzie, it’s kind of how the codependency between them works. Lizzie voices, Josie listens; Lizzie wants, Josie gives.

About Lizzie mental illness, after my research, I think that Lizzie situation is more like borderline personality disorder rather than bipolar. Lizzie has this low self-esteem issue, she sees herself lowly sometimes. Evidently, she always thinks that she had to better herself more, even in 310 where she misjudged Finch, she forgot the fact that she had improved a lot along the seasons and just go straight to a retreat, because she thinks she’s still a very bad person. A second before she saw herself like holy almighty, the next second she saw herself so bad that she was like the person in season one (and even in season one she wasn’t that bad). However, we can also see Lizzie thinks very highly of herself sometimes, or uses a narcissistic attitude to cover up her insecurities regarding her self-image, they just doesn't match with people's view of it. The most alarming one must be the whole thing about her funeral. It's clear that she hasn’t had a stable self-image of herself, which is more of a personality disorder rather than Bipolar, a mood disorder. About Lizzie’s mood swings, they are too sudden, abrupt, it triggers by events and the outcome of the trigger is quite immediate. As for Bipolar, the mood swing is more of a consistent cycle, not abrupt. Yes, events might trigger something, but they take time to set in. Patients will be overly energetic during maniac while feeling overly fatigue during the depression state. They can’t actually control their mood, it’s a mood disorder.

Tbh, the twins really have their personality issues to deal with. I totally agree with other about them being each other's foil. Like Lizzie being the one in between, while Josie being the one in extreme. Turning out that under the mean girl cover, Lizzie has such big heart; while Josie being the model sister on the extremely good side, turning out that she can be extremely dark. For real, they had like six personalities as a whole. The polarity in Josie; the polarity of Lizzie's self-image; plus the twins themselves being the foil and mirage to each other. They both have serious mental problems, Lizzie's apparent, Josie's invisible.

How does these reflect on their relationship? People would choose to get along with someone like Josie, they benefit from her habit of caring, listening, giving, and she doesn’t seem to have serious problem. As for Lizzie, people mostly like to be heard and to not be covered by another voice, they would want enough reciprocation, a habit which Lizzie is not that familiar. Not to mention, having a mental condition being well-known is not the best trait for strangers to start a new friendship or relationship. Moreover, when people observe their dynamic, they jump to conclusion rather quickly, that Lizzie is always taking things from Josie; she doesn’t care for Josie, etc. It doesn’t help Lizzie much as Josie tends to hide under that too, as being quiet is kind of a routine for her. She wants the spotlight but habitual instincts make her tend to hide from the spotlight. Therefore, as for popularity,Josie is definitely at the top, adored dearly by her peers, thus won an election herself wasn’t even running; while Lizzie, you know. Between a dog that always barks and one that doesn't bark, which will you choose? (not derogatory) However, if someone attack Lizzie, Josie will still protect her, like she did tell Penelope to leave Lizzie alone.

To shed light on Josie’s jealousy, it rooted from the abandonment issues of the twins. It is a consequence of them being Alaric’s second choice and the absence of Caroline. For Lizzie, the issue remains with only Hope, Alaric’s betrayal for Hope in her fanfics; in 314, people prioritising Hope over her is very triggering; even in 316, the heavenly state she’s in because Ethan asked her out after the whole "Hope is perfect" speech, indicate that how she can’t believe someone would choose her over Hope. As she never thinks that she can hold a competition against Hope and win. Lizzie’s abandonment issue is minimal because of the presence of Josie, it provides the security in Lizzie’s life, as she is the first choice for Josie.

The abandonment issue is worse for Josie. Even if Josie is Lizzie blind spot, this part of Lizzie is not usually make known of. Josie would feel that she is second choice to everyone, including Lizzie. Like the personal valet that has no needs? Lizzie is just 11, but 11 is an important age in shaping people’s security in a relationship. Josie couldn’t have got much security from all her important relationship, hence the abandonment issues. She always feels helpless in them, afraid to voice her needs, desperately needed recognition from her parents which is probably very few. She needs control but she didn’t know the way to get it, so she got none. The insecurities heighten when it comes to her love life, making her easily provoked if she saw something she didn’t like. Results from the habitual quietness, her way of defending herself and gaining control is to lower her competition, like hurting the girl hitting on Landon, being hostile to Hope. She hated Penelope for abandoning her, she remained control mostly, when provoked, Josie’s abandonment issues and the insecurities in being the second choice were triggered so badly that she set her on fire. The time she did what she need to do, she overdid it, because her dark side needs to compensate what hadn't been done to protect oneself and tend to the needs – to balance out the imbalance. As she loses more control over the issue while desperately wants to suppress the need of control, the polarity in her keeps worsening and the dark side of her keeps surfacing.

This is why Josie is written to embrace and take care of herself, tend to her needs, like her never need to better herself. Lizzie is written to constantly better herself when she seems like a better person than Josie. Josie’s issues root from years of neglecting her needs, while Lizzie has years of habit of ignorance on how to care when she does care. Therefore, Josie taking care of herself = bettering herself, providing a balance in her so her mental can be stable even when provoke. If Lizzie cannot construct a good self-image, while getting positive feedback to reassure her self-image disparity, she can never overcome her personality disorder. Hence bettering herself to meet her own needs.

Their behaviours as presented are cultivated and shaped by each other under the unhealthy circumstances of their household. It is not logical to only accuse of one twin regarding their behaviours to each other without bringing the other twin and their parents into consideration.

@legacies-supremacy I still remember our twins dynamic discussion, I hope this bring my response as a whole. Btw, you kind of said that in 106, Josie tell Lizzie to go to their party without her several times and Lizzie waited for her? It's not true.

Regarding the whole situation, Josie spent all her time helping Lizzie get ready. When Lizzie is done, she said, "You’re not even dressed, I don’t want to be late on my own party." Josie said, "I’m done, I’ll catch up with you, okay?" Then Lizzie take off to the party and enter without Josie without question. After wearing the talisman, Penelope appeared. She expresses her desire to continue to make Lizzie uncomfortable or unhappy or angry. Josie wanted Penelope to ease up on Lizzie. Penelope said, "You have crawled so far down the codependence rabbit hole that you think taking care of yourself is selfish. Party starts in five. It’s a shame you spent all of that time helping Lizzie get ready." When Josie was dressed, she needed someone to help her braid, so for once she try something out of desire, she goes to Josette Laughlin. When Josette asked her whether Josie will be late to her own party, Josie said, "no one will notice". She expressed her thought that if Lizzie knew about her crush on Rafael too, the situation will look bad, so she kept silent.

During the party, Lizzie immediately enjoyed herself with MG. They had flirty moves with each other (i think). Once the soft music set in, she immediately changed partner. Penelope was the only one that notice Josie was no where to be seen (meanwhile Josie was getting buried alive). While Alaric encountered Hope to save Josie, Penelope is still the only one actively searching for Josie without request. After Hope met with MG and Penelope, the three of them started saving Josie together. Meanwhile Rafael told Lizzie the truth that he still hadn't moved on. Lizzie seemed like she was starting to melt down, and started asking for Josie. Hope, Penelope and MG saved Josie without Lizzie.

It is what it is, and I'm not blaming Lizzie. The whole getting buried alive thing just kind of enhanced Josie's feeling bad of getting what she desired. I kind of remember that she said that for once she listened to people urging her to pursue her desires and it ended up getting herself buried. Then Penelope like rewarded her with a kiss.

#legacies cw #legacies #josie saltzman #lizzie saltzman #josie x lizzie #twin dynamics #analysis #posie #hope mikealson #penelope park #hosie #milton greasley

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charmingyong · 4 years ago

Text

Loving Your Voice

Spring comes, where’s your heart?

Genre: Radio jockey!Johnny x loyal fem listener!reader, Taeyong x reader, love quadrangle, angst

Warnings: angst, forbidden love, unrequited love, sacrifice, no happy ending with either male lead

Word count: 6k

Plot: Every night, you religiously tuned into a daily radio program just to hear the voice of the man who had wholly captured your heart, despite never having seen him before. Your wish came true and met Johnny in the most unexpected way, not having prepared yourself that he was never going to be yours.

A/N: Inspired by IU’s Lilac, the book One Day in December by Josie Silver, and of course NCT Night Night. The book has a happy ending, but Lilac hurt me lol. NNN lines were obtained from 12-10-2018, 16-08-2017, and 16-03-2018.

- ❀ -

You giddily ran into your bedroom and kicked the door shut, smacking your forehead when you forgot that your old pair of earphones broke recently. You hurriedly rummaged through the drawers of your desk and dresser in search for a working pair out of thin air. When you couldn’t, you cursed under your breath and ran your hand through your hair.

There had to be one somewhere.

And you suddenly remembered a pair that you obtained at work. Your workbag? In the living room.

Bursting out of your room, you found your bag on the sofa, and sighed in relief when you spotted your lifesaver. You were not willing to sacrifice on the audio and settle for the speaker on your phone because you wanted to hear his heart-fluttering voice crystal clear. Your eyes roamed around to search for the time on the wall clock.

10:59pm

Your breath hitched and you dashed back into your room. Plopping down on your chair by your desk, you connected the earphones and set up the app where the radio program was being broadcasted, relieved to catch the opening before any words were exchanged.

Right after the opening song, you heard Jaehyun read his script with his deep voice. “While I was away, the weather gets chillier. But still, your heart towards me hasn’t cooled down, right?”

That was right. Your heart still hadn’t cooled down, despite only having heard his voice and never seeing his face before.

For the one who spoke next.

“NCT’s Night Night~”

Johnny.

This had been your life the past few years ever since the program began. The second you heard his beautiful voice, it did something to your heart. The more the nights went by listening to him, the more your heart grew and without realizing it, you were in love with him. You loved the way he’d speak with such a gentle tone for the listeners and joke around brightly with the guests on the show. You had been able to pick up on things he liked and opinions on various matters when having conversations with his radio buddy, always setting your heart alight.

Because your heart beat for Johnny, you couldn’t look at any other guy. You’d get asked a lot by your friends and colleagues why you wouldn’t date, a question you hadn’t been able to give them a proper answer to. What would you say? That you were in love with a man who you had only heard his voice and had never directly interacted with before? It was better to stay silent until your wish would come true and meet him one day.

Maybe then, things might be in your luck and something blooms between you two.

- ❀ -

“How’s this dress?” your baby sister Yeri asked. She held a white dress with blue floral print against her chest.

You hummed. “It’s cute. Totally suits you.”

“Right? I’m buying this,” she beamed. “He’s so going to like this,” she muttered more to herself.

You blinked at her. “Who?”

She smirked. “Someone I’ll be introducing to you soon,” she said with a wink sent your way.

“No way... you’re seeing a guy! Who is he?” Yeri had always gushed about cute boys from afar and never once going up to them to confront her feelings. So her finally in a relationship was big news.

Yeri laughed. “Patience, girl. I know it’s crazy that I finally won one over and you’re gonna like him. He just has that charm.”

Your heart pumped fast at the thought of your precious sister smiling next to her boyfriend. It was one thing you had always wanted to see, your sister’s happiness a priority above anything else in the world.

“Well then, I’m definitely looking forward to meeting this mysterious boy.”

- ❀ -

Sipping on the cappuccino, you were jittery for the meetup, your foot tapping against the tiles of the café. Yeri was really excited to introduce you to him while you were worried. What if he wasn’t like the way she described him as? What if he was a jerk lowkey who didn’t deserve her?

“You’re really tensed, girl. Chill out! He’s not gonna bite,” she joked.

“I know. I just hope he’s a good guy for you,” you spoke quietly.

“Of course he is! He’s super easy to talk to and has a lot of manners and loves to joke around. There’s nothing to be worried about.” Her eyes traveled to behind you and beamed at the figure walking towards your table. “He’s here!” Yeri jumped out of her chair and hopped over to him.

You turned around in your seat to find a tall man, definitely charming like she mentioned, grinning widely at your sister with his pearly teeth on display. “Hi baby.”

Yeri latched onto his arm and brought him over in front of you. “Y/N, meet my sweet boyfriend.”

His eyes locked with yours and offered you a warm smile, making you return it. “Hi Y/N. I’m glad to finally meet you. Yeri talks about you a lot. Oh and I’m Johnny.”

Your smile fell and felt your heartbeat stop altogether. Johnny? And that voice... “Your voice sounds familiar,” you breathed out.

Yeri clapped her hands at your words. “Oh yeah! You might have heard him on the radio. He’s one of the radio jockeys on NCT Night Night program.”

No…

Your gaze didn’t waver from the tall boy as your heart dropped to your feet, shattering into a million pieces and beyond ability to ever repair it. After all these years, you finally met the man of the voice who captured your heart, only for him to turn out to be your sister’s boyfriend.

“No way! Do you listen to my show?” Johnny asked with sparkle in his eyes at the possibility of meeting a fan.

You fumbled with your tongue inside your mouth before making up your decision. “Yeah, I listen every night. It’s... fun.” You pressed your lips together to stop your heart from spilling out the real reason.

“Wow, my girlfriend’s sister is my fan. I’m honoured. Tell me, who do you like more? JaeD or JohnD? I’m sure you’ll say JohnD,” he joked with a wink.

Yeri smacked his arm. “Hey! You can’t ask her that when you’re in front of her. She’ll obviously pick you.”

Johnny laughed at her, the same laugh he’d do on the radio that would make your heart flutter.

You never thought that hearing it in person would feel so melancholic.

- ❀ -

“So? What do you think about Johnny?”

Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Well, you wished for that. If your heart hadn’t already reserved it for him, then you would have been happily sharing your joy with her. Why did you have to be head over heels for that radio jockey? Johnny was definitely someone you’d trust Yeri with, ever since yours was already. “He’s… good.”

She anticipated for more but when you didn’t say more, her smile fell. “That’s it? I thought you’ll like him. Plus, he turned out to be someone you listen to on the radio. I can’t believe you haven’t fallen for him.”

You bit your cheeks on the inside and held back from spilling the truth. “He sounds like a good guy on the radio. So you’re good.” Staying curt was your best option.

Keep it short. Don’t let her know.

Her lips curled up. “Really? So you like him?”

“Yes.” But not like the way you think.

She placed her hand over her heart. “Thank goodness. I thought you didn’t since you were so quiet during the meet.”

You turned away from her so that she couldn’t see your sorrowful eyes.

- ❀ -

Yeri and Johnny.

Yeri and…

You groaned inwardly, frustrated that your mind had a hard time believing that there was no you with Johnny. It was even harder to believe that it was a relationship between your sister and your DJ love.

Johnny sat beside your sister at the diner while you watched them, painfully watched them feed each other and chatter happily from across. Why were you third wheeling? The lovey doves insisted.

“Y/N, how does that theme sound like?”

You didn’t realize that you had zoned out until Yeri waved her hand in front of you. “Huh? Sorry l wasn’t listening.”

Johnny quirked an eyebrow up. “You weren’t listening? Are you sure you listen to my radio if your attention span is that small?”

Yeri smacked his arm. “Don’t be mean to her like that!”

“You know I was joking.”

You knew that but it hurt. Hurt that he’d think that of you when you loved listening to his voice. But that moment, you couldn’t help but want to distract yourself. “Sorry. I was just zoned out. What theme are you talking about?”

Yeri rolled her eyes at you. “Girl, focus! We’re discussing about our wedding theme.”

Your breathing stilled. “What wedding?”

Her eyes widened like you were crazy. “Have you not been listening to anything? I mean our wedding. Mine and Johnny’s.”

You froze, almost positive that your soul had for sure left you. Was Johnny being Yeri’s boyfriend not enough that the news of Johnny becoming her future husband had to be broken to you this early? “What do you mean your wedding? How long has it been since you two met?”

Yeri nodded, agreeing that it was too soon for one. “Yeah, it hasn’t been long. But for some reason, we click so well like we’re meant to be.”

Pang.

Johnny added, “Yeah, Yeri’s right. I understand it might be worrisome for you, Y/N, like you just met me and now talks of our wedding happen this fast. But I assure you that everything will go well since our love for each other is that strong.”

Your palms began sweating profusely. It was too soon, but it didn’t matter as long as it was with the right person. And for Yeri, she definitely had it right. “Yeah but…” Your words died in your mouth. What could you even say to that? Please don’t. I love him with all my heart, ever since I first tuned to his radio. No, you weren’t selfish. They clearly loved each other and you had no right to get in their way, no matter how much you loved JohnD. Sighing, your shoulders slumped and softly uttered, “I guess you’re right.”

There was no Y/N and Johnny.

- ❀ -

10:52pm

Ready at your desk just like how your night routine would go, you were feeling a mixture of emotions. You craved to hear his voice, but with all the recent memories made and wrecking you, you didn’t know if this was the time for you to let go of your love for JohnD.

To close a chapter in your life.

Every association with Johnny felt like you were walking on a pile of needles. The stabbing pain hadn’t gone one bit ever since you learned that he was your sister’s boyfriend and it was clear that they both loved each other very much.

Your love life wasn’t meant to be. Should this be the last time for you to listen to him? You had devoted one hour every day of your life to tune into the radio. To give that up suddenly wasn’t going to be easy.

Take baby steps and let him go.

But you wouldn’t be able to let him go fully. Not when he was going to be stuck to your sister’s side. There was no way you’d get over him if you couldn’t fully get him out of your life. It would have been easier if Johnny was someone else’s boyfriend.

Yeri, why did it have to be you?

11:00pm

The intro music cued, followed by an opening. There was no time for you to think about anything else except diving into tonight’s program without another thought.

Let’s see how tonight goes.

“I’ve waited for today all this long?”

Wait…

“My heart for you was like this? I never knew.”

That’s not JaeD or JohnD…

“But my heart right now, is dancing.”

Who is he?

“NCT’s Night Night.” That voice you recognized as the one who left a knife in your heart.

A song began shortly as the radio jockeys prepped for the night. The unfamiliar voice left a great impression on you. Though not enough to forget about the constant ache in your heart. The new voice comforted you in a way that you thought was nearly impossible after the heartbreak. After the song ended, the introduction began and you paid close attention to learn about the temporary DJ.

“Hello! Today I, Taeyong, am the special DJ of NCT’s Night Night. Call me TyongD!” the new bright voice said with high tension.

Throughout the episode, you listened to his voice and while TyongD couldn’t help you get over your love for JohnD, you were curious to meet this Taeyong guy.

- ❀ -

Standing in the lobby of the broadcasting station, you waited for the boys to be finished with their program. Johnny had texted you to meet up there as Taeyong was going be the special DJ for a while until Jaehyun returned from his trip. Why were you being called over at midnight instead of over lunch or something? You didn’t know. But at least it was the weekend so you didn’t have to worry about waking up on time for work.

When the clock struck midnight, you listened to them wrap up the episode on your phone and turned it off. The doors opened and you found Johnny walk out alone, no one behind him yet.

He sent you a genuine smile and waved as he made his way over.

You quietly checked him out, staring at his handsome features that you failed to capture from the start. His voice was beautiful and couple that with his face… You let out a long sigh. Fate was way too cruel on you.

Johnny noticed a tear well up in your eye and gasped. “Are you crying?”

You looked away and quickly wiped it away. “I-It’s just dust,” you mumbled.

He hummed. “I’m really surprised you asked me about Taeyong. He’s a really sweet guy and you two will make a great couple.”

You doubted that but regardless hoped that he was right. “He’s temporary here, isn’t he? What does he really do then?”

Johnny smirked and replied, “That’s for you to find out tonight.”

You blinked confusedly. “Huh?”

Chuckling, he added, “Taeyong wanted to show something to you tonight. That’s why I called you over right now. Sorry that it’s cutting into your night,” he grimaced and rubbed the back of his neck.

Whatever Taeyong wanted to show me better be worth it, you thought. “Where is he anyway?”

He turned around to look for him. “He’ll be out soon. Just taking his time to pack it up with the crew.” Johnny turned to you and said, “I rushed out knowing you’d be waiting. Can’t have you bored, you know,” he flashed a huge smile.

Johnny, cut it out. Don’t do that!

There went your prohibited heart flying for him.

Soon enough, the staff walked out the doors and bid Johnny well for the night. Everyone had left out the exit, except for a faded pink hair boy appearing beside your forbidden love. He was cute, his lips parted slightly as he stared at you with twinkling eyes.

“Yongs!” Johnny wrapped his arm around Taeyong. “Y/N, meet Taeyong whose been by my side for a decade and he’s a music producer. And Taeyong, this is the Y/N I was talking about. She’s my girlfriend’s sister.”

Taeyong’s shocked self recovered and a loving smile graced itself on his lips. “It’s really nice to meet you, Y/N,” he spoke with the same soft voice that had comforted you.

Out of courtesy, you mirrored it back. “Same here, Taeyong.” Your eyes shifted to the taller boy beside him.

Johnny lifted his arm off his friend and stepped away. “Oh right. I should leave you two alone now. Have fun and don’t forget to tell me first if anything good happens between you two. Night night~” He strode towards the exit, your eyes not once leaving his retreating figure even after he stepped out the exit and disappeared into the darkness of the night.

“Y/N?”

Taeyong’s voice pulled you back. “Yeah?”

He bounced on his heels out of nervousness before he began his speed rambling. “Are you hungry? I mean are you okay with the night? You’re not sleepy are you? I just wanted to show you my work and thought we can have a fun night. We can definitely leave this for tomorrow during the day. I don’t want to force you to stay up.”

You gaped at him, trying your best to recall and reply to everything he practically rapped on. “Um, yeah I’m okay with the night. I’m not sleepy yet so I’m down to do anything fun.” And hopefully get my mind and heart off of Johnny. “I guess it’ll be a good idea to fuel ourselves up before heading over to your workplace.”

He let out a huge breath in relief. “Thank goodness. I’m a night owl so I work best at night and I’d love to have you see me in my producing mode.”

Your eyebrows furrowed. “Really? You wanted to show me your work without having seen me before?”

He scratched his head and added, “Johnny actually showed me a picture of you. A selfie of you, him and your sister.”

Johnny kept a picture of you on his phone…

This was not the information your poor heart needed, especially with a boy in front of you that you hoped he had a chance to win your heart.

Taeyong led you to his car in the lot and opened the passenger door for you. You thanked him, and sat down, observing the interior. There were candy wrappers littered everywhere as well as unopened bags of chips. Once he was settled into his seat, he noticed your eyes skimming around and sent you an apologetic look. “Ah, sorry. My car is a mess. I promise I’m not like this at all at home. I’m very clean.”

You hummed. “Don’t worry. I understand. I can be like this too with my workbag. So where are we going for food?”

“I was thinking about this waffle house if you like that…”

Nodding, you said, “Sounds great.”

The restaurant was nearly empty, except for another couple on the premise. After placing your order, you chatted about your lifestyle.

“I never really knew what to do with my life so I’m just working to get through it. Good enough pay to afford an apartment for myself so it’s not bad. How about you? Johnny mentioned that you make music.”

Taeyong sipped on the water. “Mm, yeah I do. I have a friend who I share the studio with. He works there before I go in so our timings don’t clash. It’s really fun there. I’m hoping I can be casted by a big company in the future. Till then, I’ll just keep working my butt off.”

“You sound really passionate. It’s really nice seeing someone like that.” It made you think back to Johnny and his love for broadcasting, hoping for his program to reach audience of all ages and give them a pleasant end to their long days. It really was so nice to listen to his calming voice after a long day at your work. Especially that it got your heart beating faster.

Your foods arrived with Taeyong opting for mint choco ice cream on top of his waffle. Both of you consumed your late-night meals in silence. When the bill arrived, you fought hard to pay your portion, but Taeyong said it was very ungentlemanly to let you. He was way too sweet for you.

“Taeyong, I understand, but we just met. I don’t want to feel like I owe you anything when we’re not even dating yet.”

He looked like he was conflicted, whether to let you pay or not, and gave up at the end when seeing your stern face. He pouted and replied, “Okay. But if I ever gift you anything, then you have to accept it, deal?”

Dumbfounded, you merely nodded.

The studio was a lot smaller than you imagined, considering that he was a freelancer. If you were told to stay in there and let your creativity flow, you’d struggle.

“Wow Taeyong. Don’t you get anxious working in this small room?”

He shrugged. “Not really. I actually get ideas when I’m in here. So imagine me having my hideout in here looking like a raccoon with dark circles,” he answered with a wink.

You giggled. “So what do you want to show me?”

“Come,” he took your hand and pulled you towards the desk, making you sit down in the cushioned office chair.

“Wait, shouldn’t you sit here? What about you?”

He pulled out a folding chair from a corner and set it up beside you. “I’ll sit here.”

On the computer, he logged into his account and played some of his favourite pieces he had composed.

“Wow, you made all these?” you asked with wide eyes.

Taeyong nodded with a ‘yup’ and clicked on a file saved as ‘city park.’ The whistling tunes incorporated brought a huge smile on you.

“I really like this one,” you spoke quietly, too immersed into the music that you didn’t notice his heart eyes softly grazing over your delicate features.

- ❀ -

From then on, you frequently met up with the music producer, whether if it was Taeyong wanting to show you his latest work or him creating something. You’d watch him during his creative process, trying out some keys and jotting down notes. He even let you play around and saved it as a recording under your name, telling you that it could serve him as an inspiration for his future works.

Taeyong didn’t only have a sweet personality, he was greatly addicted to sweets as well, taking you to a candy store and dragging you everywhere with giddy feet. His basket would be filled with some teddy bear jellies and sour candies, but mostly chocolates.

You would be crazy if you rejected the adorable boy when Taeyong asked you to be his girlfriend. You really loved Taeyong. You loved his cute childlike self yet a devoted hard worker at the right times. When the news was delivered to Yeri and Johnny, they were very happy. Yeri couldn’t understand why you never gave any guy a chance, and so to hear her big sister finally get into a relationship was a relief. Johnny on the other hand was pleased for his pal to have given it a go when Taeyong was always busy sticking his head into the computer.

But no matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t stop the tug at your heartstrings when you’d think about Yeri and Johnny.

One evening, you invited Taeyong over to your home before he’d leave for work. He surprised you by bringing a huge earl grey cake.

“I thought it’ll be fun to eat this while watching,” he said with bubbling joy.

You chuckled at his idea. If that was what he wanted, then you weren’t stopping him. “Okay, but that’s a lot of sugar. I’ll bring some chips. Go ahead and decide on a movie.”

He beamed. “Okay!”

When you walked into the living room with a huge bowl of jalapeno chips and forks for the cake, Taeyong was surfing through the movies available online.

“What about this one?” His cursor rested on top of a rom com pick. The summary beneath it indicated that the plot was about a man who listened to the radio and fell in love with the female DJ’s voice.

It sounded just like how you fell for-

“No!” you answered, more like shouted before realizing it. Taeyong jumped, clutching his heart from your sudden outburst. You sheepishly apologized, “Sorry, I… um I’m not feeling that one. How about something else?”

Taeyong blinked at you, confused that you had to react that loudly when it could have been a simple soft no. “Yeah, uh what about this one?” He shifted the cursor to the one beside it and you agreed.

Your heart was beating erratically from his previous selection. The movie was for sure to have a happy ending between the man and woman, but you knew there wasn’t going to be a happy ending with yours.

Taeyong picked up the fork and dove into the cake while his eyes were glued onto the credits rolling, mouthing the names of the music producers involved. You smiled at him, hoping that there would at least be a happy ending with Taeyong.

- ❀ -

The day arrived.

The most agonizing day of your life.

The time came for you to let go of your DJ love. If there was anyone that you would see yourself with in the future, it was the boy you had your arm linked with.

Yeri had a lot of friends and you willingly let one of them take your spot in being the maid of honour to direct the bridesmaids. After all, your mind was preoccupied the majority of the time, thinking about her soon-to-be husband. It would be easier for you to sit amongst the crowd and stop yourself from doing anything that you’d regret later than having to stand at the front, the easiest place to bring attention on yourself.

“It’s your sister’s wedding. Shouldn’t you be happy?” Taeyong asked.

You sighed. “I just can’t believe it’s happening already. But I really am happy for her.” At least she could have her happy ending.

Taeyong unlinked your hand from his arm and cupped your cheeks. “She’ll always be your little sister, no matter how fast she beat you to have a wedding first. We’ll have ours soon,” he said with a wink.

You forced a smile for him. Marrying Taeyong was something you were looking forward to. Your relationship with him had bloomed so prettily that it was the perfect way to distract yourself from the heartache. “Can’t wait for that,” you muttered honestly.

He leaned in and pecked your cheek. “Come on. Let’s take a seat near the front.”

The wedding commenced with the priest reciting the words for the bride and groom to exchange the vows. You watched your sister shyly smile in her white dress while your ex-love stood tall and charming in his dark tuxedo, hair styled to the side. His skin glowed, radiating the pure joy and pleasure of standing in front of his love.

You took a hold of Taeyong’s hand, clasping both your hands around his. He thought you wanted to feel his warmth and gave it a gentle squeeze, not knowing that your real reason was something else.

The time arrived for the priest to speak to the crowd of witnesses. “Should anyone present know of any reason that this couple should not be joined in holy matrimony, speak now or forever hold your peace.”

You gripped onto Taeyong’s hand, willing yourself to stay put and go for the latter. No one uttered a word during the brief silence, making the priest continue with the ceremony.

“I pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride.”

Johnny stepped closer to Yeri, both of them beaming hard as they gazed into each other’s love-filled eyes. He took hold of her face and pressed his lips to hers.

You closed your eyes right before their lips locked, not wanting to break your heart even more when you had already promised yourself that it was over. Your love for JohnD was pushed into the past.

You were forever holding your peace.

- ❀ -

Something felt different ever since their marriage. You struggled to focus on your present moments with Taeyong as your mind dwelled onto your past love for JohnD.

“Y/N? Are you okay?” Taeyong waved his hand in front of you.

You jumped slightly in your seat and looked at his eyes filled with concern. “Oh sorry. What?”

He sighed and decided to turn off his equipment. “Let’s get some food. There’s something I need to talk to you about.”

You panicked. Was he breaking up with you? “Is it something bad?”

A small smile tugged at his lips. “It’s something really good.” But the smile fell right away when he added quietly, “Depending on how you take it.”

The two of you went back to the same waffle house on the first night you met each other. Taeyong refused to tell you the good news the entire time there, reasoning that he wanted you to eat well as you seemed tired in his eyes. He promised to tell you after you’d gain some energy.

It was nearly 2am and no one else was at the restaurant except for the few staff. But he wanted to make sure he shared his joy with you someplace secluded. The park was the safest spot and you found a bench by a well lit streetlamp.

“Will you please tell me now? You’ve been growing the suspense since we left the studio.”

He gulped nervously, his leg bouncing from jittery. He cut to the chase, getting straight to the point. “I got casted.”

You blinked. “Casted? Oh my goodness... Like company casted? Taeyong! That’s such amazing news! You should have told me earlier!” You hopped off the bench and bounced on your feet, clapping happily and cheering for his dream. “Now you’re gonna become this big music producer that everyone will go crazy for!” When a sad smile forced on his face, you stopped moving. “This is what you wanted, didn’t you? Why do you look so sad?”

“Because I’ll have to move away.”

Move? “Where?”

He chewed on his lip before answering, “To another country.”

Your blood ran cold.

“Y/N, I know this isn’t going to be easy for you but hear me out. I’ll be earning a lot that we’ll be living comfortably. You don’t have to worry about having a job unless you want to, so you don’t need to worry about finances. It’s just… you’ll have to leave everything and everyone to come with me.” He took a deep breath. “You’ll come with me, right?” he asked with desperate eyes.

You couldn’t believe what he was saying. You’d be by his side and whole heartedly support his passion for music. But if that involved having to move away from your home, your lifestyle, your family, friends…

Johnny…

Then you were going to have to draw the line.

“Taeyong… I… I can’t,” you choked out.

He looked as if he didn’t understand you, more like he didn’t want to. “Huh?” This was the very thing he feared.

You shook your head. “I’ll support you with your career no matter what. But I can’t leave home.”

Taeyong rose up to his feet and grabbed your hands. “Please don’t say no. Think about it. I-I have to leave in a few days but I don’t want to leave you. I really love you, Y/N! Wanna know what I was thinking if you can’t come with me?”

All the blood drained from your face. “Don’t even think about rejecting them. I’ll never live it down. You have to go.”

He feverishly shook his head, his eyes glistening. “I don’t want to leave you. I’d rather stay here and wait for another opportunity around here.”

You gaped in disbelief. “You’re not going to have another chance at going big if you ditch this abroad opportunity. This sounds like something big with the way you’re saying that you’ll be earning a lot. Please Taeyong, please go.”

He fell onto his knees, still holding onto your hands for dear life. His head hung low as his shoulders shook. Your heart broke at the sight of him crying. “Why does this feel like some sort of test, whether I choose career or love?”

Crouching down, you weaved your arms around his form and brought his head to your shoulder, patting his head gently to calm him down. “I know you love me but love can wait. Your career can’t. It’s not like we’ll never see each other again and I’m sure we’ll see each other again. So… if I can suggest you something, sacrifice love, Taeyong.” What sort of ill-fated joke was this? You already had to give up your love for Johnny, and now Taeyong had to do it for you. “I’m really really sorry,” you whispered out and not too long after, your body trembled as you sobbed over his shoulder.

You were sorry that you didn’t love Taeyong enough to leave everything behind.

He pulled back and frowned deeply with tear-stained cheeks. “Don’t say sorry. I should be the one saying that. This was supposed to be good news but I made you cry.” He wiped away your tears and stroked your head to quieten your cries. “If you change your mind, even the second before I leave, I’ll happily take you with me.”

- ❀ -

“That clearly says it all of your feelings for Taeyong.”

You sighed, already knowing that but still let her continue.

“You didn’t love him enough. Like true love type.” Yeri plopped down on the couch beside you. “If you really loved him, you would have been ready to start a new life with him, no matter where it’d be in the world.” She puffed out, sad that she wouldn’t be able to see you get married to Taeyong. “I really thought he was the one for you.”

There was no doubt that Taeyong would have been the one for you if you hadn’t fallen for Johnny. Why were you still being hopelessly lovesick? The chapter was supposed to be over a long time ago since the first time you met him. You felt bad for Taeyong, leading him on in a way. Your heart was never wholly available yet he never failed to surprise you with his sweet love.

Taeyong leaving was lowkey the best for both of you.

The front door opened and Johnny walked in. Aka Yeri’s husband. Aka the one you needed to stop pining over. “I brought some wine to help with my beautiful sister-in-law’s heartbreak,” he chirped.

There went your heart again, going bonkers over the fact that he called you beautiful... but also sister-in-law.

- ❀ -

Taeyong had a tight grip on his luggage, making his knuckles go white.

“Taeyong?” you called, hoping he’d give you a response.

“So… this is it? This is the end of us?” He avoided your eyes, opting to stare at the tiles beneath his feet.

You sniffed, hating that you’d have to say goodbye to him. No more late night fun. “Yeah, I guess this is it.”

“I want to give you something.” He shrugged off his backpack and pulled out an unopened box of beats headphones, handing it to you.

Stunned, all you breathed out was, “Why?”

“I wanted to gift you something, sort of like thank you for being my first girlfriend.”

Your jaw fell. “I was your first?”

He smiled and it didn’t look forced. “Yeah, and I want you to listen to my music with them. You’ll hear the quality is crystal clear and not miss a single beat with them.”

Your vision blurred at the thought of the pink haired having his first heartbreak by you. “Taeyong, I’m so sorry. It all started with me wanting to meet you in the first place and now I don’t come-”

He hushed you, cupping your face. “Ay, don’t be like that. I’m really glad you did. If you didn’t, then I wouldn’t have fallen in love and get my first heartbreak. And you know what they say about heartbreak songs topping charts,” he joked which successfully got a quiet giggle out of you.

“Yeah, use me as your muse for your music.”

The announcement came on, announcing the boarding for Taeyong’s flight. “It’s time for me to go.”

You hummed, your heart growing heavy suddenly. Before he turned away, he surprised you by enveloping you in his arms. You buried into his warmth for the last time and pulled back. “Go live your dream. And don’t lose your sweet self.”

Taeyong nodded and grabbed his luggage, wheeling it behind him as he waved at you with a tight smile. You waved back with what you hoped was a bright smile on your face to cheer him up. When Taeyong turned away, he quit holding back his tears and let it cascade over his cheeks.

Your eyes were glued to his retreating figure, hoping to catch one last glimpse of his face but didn’t as he passed by the gate for his flight. You stared at the box in hand and clutched it close to you, promising yourself that you’d support him with his music releases.

- ❀ -

“People always say that spring came. It’s exciting and heart fluttering. I think you’re someone like spring to me because after I met you, I felt like that every day.” Jaehyun said.

Followed by none other than Johnny’s “NCT’s Night Night~”

You sat at the same café you met him, drinking your cup of cappuccino while listening to a downloaded broadcast with your new gifted headphones. A bittersweet feeling overwhelmed you as you listened to Johnny’s voice throughout the episode. Even though you couldn’t be with Johnny, you’d still love and cherish all the memories you’d made with DJ Johnny.

And you wouldn’t have come to terms with that if it weren’t for a particular night that you had spent with Taeyong.

As you laid next to Taeyong under the starry night, you asked, “Taeyong, let’s talk hypothetically. What if you loved me but I didn’t love you back? What would you do?”

He hummed for a bit, thinking of a perfect response. “Love isn’t about having it reciprocated.” He turned to you and lovingly smiled, eyes crinkling with adoration for you under the moonlight. “Love is to shine more beautifully.”

The end.

#cznnet #nct #nct 127 #johnny suh #youngho seo #lee taeyong #johnny x reader #taeyong x reader #nct fanfic #nct imagines #nct scenarios #charm

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keanureevesisbae · 4 years ago

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Becky's debut novel (Sugar Sugar fic)

A/N: So, @thelastsock gave me such a great idea: a snippet of Becky's book. So I have a snippet here, including a front cover, back cover and a little dedication page (because I am extra like that 😂😂, what else do you expect from me). Hope you like it xoxo

Chapter 1

YOU ARE NOT WELCOME.

Those are the exact words that greet me when I walk up our porch to our front door. Let’s just say that my mom has a special way of welcoming her quests. I step over the slightly offensive doormat to get inside. Not a lot of people would expect this kind of welcome from the mayor, but then again: no one expected her to win the elections in our town Starfall Fields in the first way.

Not to be mean, but even I never believed in my mom and not for a second did I think she had any chance of winning. Mom has been quite the controversy the second she moved into town. How on earth would she be able to be the mayor?

Weirdly enough, she hasn’t made a complete fool out of herself in these two months she has been mayor. Actually, she’s been doing quite well. It’s just that her housekeeping skills have been lower than low.

I open the refrigerator and scrunch up my nose when I notice there is barely anything edible in here. Great.

I grab my phone and send my mom a text.

Josie: You need to do groceries

Mom: Do it yourself, you lazy bitch

Mom: Still love you though 😘

I chuckle as I read her text. She’s quite something, my mom, and if we don’t call each other bitch at least once a day, there’s something up and we should worry.

People might find it odd that we call one another bitch, but it’s just our way of showing our affection towards the other.

Somehow I find some left over yogurt that isn’t expired already. I peel a banana (to only throw half of it away, because it’s brown and squishy, therefore absolutely repulsive) and cut it into slices. I drizzle some maple syrup on top of it and want to add some raisins, but when I open the jar, I find out there is only one raisin left in it.

‘Mom,’ I whine, though she can’t hear me. ‘Really?’ This is just absolutely fantastic. After a long day at school, a girl can barely enjoy a nice little afternoon snack. I grab my bowl and walk over to the dining table. My butt barely touched the soft seating of the chair, when my best friend Andy FaceTimes me. I place the phone against the fruit bowl before I press answer. ‘What do you want?’ I ask him. ‘You literally saw me half an hour ago.’

He smiles, two dimples appearing in his full cheeks. ‘You know I can’t get enough of you, sugar.’

Andy and I have been best friends since I can remember, but that is mostly because we’ve been in the same class the moment we both stepped foot into kindergarten and we’re neighbors. We’re literally the two houses in a radius of around half a mile (yes, we took the time to measure it) and he isn’t the worst guy to hang around with.

Okay, he is the only one that doesn’t make me that angry, I have to fight the urge to claw his eyes out. I’m not gonna beat around the bush: I love hanging out with him.

While we see each other the moment we step out of our houses to go to school, share every class of the day with one another and we walk from school back to our houses, it’s hard to function without the other one. Therefore, we usually FaceTime the second we can after separating.

We’re quite the symbiotic pair.

‘Spit it out, Andy. What do you want?’ I ask.

‘I was wondering what your plans are,’ Andy says. ‘Mainly for tonight.’

I can’t help but chuckle. ‘There was a plan of me hanging on the couch, watching a movie with my best friend while we eat junk food, but your voice is telling me that you have something else in mind for the two of us.’

He nods. ‘I was thinking about you and I doing some FindUrPricing tonight.’

‘FindUrPricing is not a word, you idiot.’

‘I don’t care, miss Doyle,’ he retorts with a sassy undertone. He shakes his head, gestures I have to wait (like I’m going anywhere) and comes back into frame, this time with a tablet in his hands. ‘I have like five of these things, so what do you say? Want to bury them tonight, while we try to find something cool for it in return?’

Andy has this obsession with solving puzzles in newspapers like the old soul he is and since he is quite good and really fast, he has won multiple prizes, including multiple tablets.

‘Only if I find a diamond ring,’ I answer with my mouth full of yogurt.

‘Yeah, that’s attractive. You’ll find yourself a boyfriend in no time with those manners.’

I show him the finger. ‘I don’t need etiquette lessons from you,’ I say.

Andy sticks out his tongue. ‘Are you coming with me tonight?’ he asks me. ‘You know I need you.’

I chuckle. Andy is a disaster when it comes to being in the dark, but since FindUrPrice is just more fun at night, I have become his personal guard. ‘Okay, okay, but only if I can sleep at your place tonight. I have no idea what time my mom will be back from work.’

Andy’s parents are going to the opera’s tonight and afterwards, they’re staying in a hotel near the big city. Normally, they aren’t the type of people to go to the opera’s, but when their son wins tickets, including a stay in one of the most luxurious hotels in the area, who are they to say no?

Since I have no idea what time my mom manages to pull herself from city hall (to say she is a workaholic is an understatement), I’d rather sleep at Andy’s, then telling her we’ve been wandering on the street late at night.

Especially on a school night.

Sure, my mom knows about FindUrPrice, but she forbade me to ever do it late at night, because “you never know what can happen”. I personally think it’s not that big of a deal, since Starfall Fields is boring as hell and absolutely harmless, but my mother wouldn’t be my mother if she didn’t envision my death.

FindUrPrice is an app for the younger folks in our city and the few around. The organization hid a few gifts and presents and whenever you follow the leads and find something, you have to place something nice in return. It’s cute and me and Andy do it from time to time.

‘You’re coming over now?’ Andy asks.

‘To help you do your laundry?’ I ask, nodding towards the screen, mainly towards the enormous pile of clothes on his bed. ‘Didn’t think so. See you in a few hours, Andy.’

‘Please,’ he begs, right at the same time as I hear his mom in the background yelling for him. ‘Yes, wait a minute!’ he yells. ‘Can I live with you? I feel like your mother never pushes you to do chores around the house.’

‘That’s because I do them voluntarily. If mom doesn’t do laundry, no one does it. If mom doesn’t clean the toilet, no one does it. Believe me, with a mom who all of the sudden turns a bit blind when it comes house chores, there is more to do here than there is at your place. Don’t you dare whine about it, Andrew Carter.’

We hang up and I grab a magazine from the table, reading through some of the articles. How to painlessly bikini wax yourself, how to get rid of strawberry legs, how to get yourself a man in a week.

Geez, mom, why do you read this?

No wait, better question: mom, why haven’t you gotten yourself a man in a week? This issue is three months old.

My phone rings again and without looking I answer, since I know exactly who is calling me. ‘Andy, I’m not helping you with your laundry,’ I say. ‘Shirts, sweaters and other items for your upper body go on a hanger and the rest with clothespins on a drying rack. How many times do I have to tell you that?’

‘Thank you for this wise, yet unnecessary lesson in laundry,’ mom says and I can hear her smile in her voice. ‘But laundry is your chore, so I pretend I didn’t hear it.’

‘What do you want?’ I ask my mom.

‘Wanted to know your plans for tonight.’

‘I was planning on hanging out with Andy,’ I say. Go outside, do some FindUrPricing. ‘Watch a movie. Probably sleep at his place. He is home alone, you know how he gets.’

Mom snorts. ‘Oh, do I know. How old was he when he rang our doorbell, nearly crying because he was afraid of the dark?’

‘The last time was a few months ago,’ I chuckle. ‘Why do you want to know my plans for tonight?’

‘You know,’ mom starts and I do know. ‘There is still a lot to do here at city hall.’

‘Right,’ I say, ‘and you wanted to know whether or not I mind. Mom, I’m your daughter, I truly don’t care.’

‘I’ll make it up to you,’ she says, mostly because she is trying to feel less guilty.

And I wouldn’t be her daughter if I wasn’t going to totally exploit her sweet offer. ‘So, you’re making breakfast for me and Andy tomorrow?’

She sighs. ‘Goodness gracious, really? I’m going to pull an all nighter.’

‘You wanted to be mayor and you’re also a mother. Deal with it.’

Mom scoffs. ‘And here I was thinking I was gonna get some sympathy from my daughter.’

‘Ew never,’ I say.

‘Well, I might just make breakfast for you, only if you eat it here. I might be your chef, but I’m not a waiter and I’m certainly not gonna walk it to the Carters.’

I scoff. ‘Okay, I think I can live with that.’

‘Alright, enjoy your night, Josie and don’t make it too late okay? Ten o’clock lights out, okay?’

No. ‘Of course. Bye mom.’

I look at the picture on the dining table. Despite not being blood related, my mom and I are really close. According to Andy’s mom, it never seemed like my mom would settle down. She moved to this boring place a few years prior to finding me on her doorstep. She was thirty and didn’t have a husband (nor had any intention of settling down with anyone—she turned down a lot of men who asked her out in Starfall Fields). Even back then, she was already a workaholic and worked over time as the mayor’s assistant.

One day, when she was getting herself ready for work, she heard soft cries from her front porch and when she checked it out, there was yours truly.

I was around a year old and in the cradle, there was a note saying that whoever found me, to take good care of me. My DNA wasn’t available in any database, just like there were no matches at all.

I have no idea who I am, who my biological family is and where I’m from.

Mom adopted me, because I only felt safe with her and since that moment, we were a duo.

A year and a half ago she became the mayor and since then she is everywhere in Starfall Fields, except home. I barely see her, but she does a lot for this town and I don’t think I have the right to whine about it, especially because it means many many sleepovers with Andy and many nights wandering around the woods to play FindUrPrice.

Sure, I miss her from time to time, because she’s still my mom. From someone who was home a lot, would wait for me on the porch no matter the weather when I came back from school and had chocolate pie ready for me and Andy, she changed to a real career woman who is everywhere in town.

But that’s okay, she’s happy and when she is, I am too. I should be, especially after everything she has done for me.

#henry cavill #henry cavill x ofc #henry cavill x oc #henry cavill x asian ofc #henry cavill x becky kim #becky kim #asian ofc #sugar daddy!henry cavill #sugar sugar #henry cavill fandom #henry cavill fanfic #becky kim is an author

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just-another-ficwriter · 4 years ago

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Holidate - Part One

Pairing: Sweet Pea x Reader

Words: 3000ish

Warnings: Overbearing parents, alcohol

Summary: Tired of being alone on holidays, Sweet Pea and Y/N decide to be each other’s plationic plus-ones all year round. What could go wrong?

Notes: I’m super late posting this and I feel awful about it!! I just couldn’t decide how I wanted it to go and ended up rewriting it three times🤦🏻‍♀️

“No Mom.” Y/N pinches the bridge of her nose, irritation seeping into her words. There’s already a dull ache drumming behind her temples and she hasn’t even made it home yet. “I’m not using this as an excuse because I’m running late.”

“Well I simply can’t just drop everything and come get you, I’ve got to stuff the Turkey and cut the vegetables and-“ She lets her Mother’s voice drowned out into background noise with a frustrated sigh on her end.

She hates Christmas, she thinks. Hates the decorations, the songs, the cheer. Every last bit. Nothing’s been the same since the truth came out about Hal and-

“Is Jug there?” She cuts her own thoughts short, desperate not to think of her Dad and all the things he’s done right now.

“Of course Forsyth is here!” Y/N can almost see Jug flinch at the correction and bites back a laugh. “But him and Betty have already opened a bottle of wine.”

“Can you just ask him for the number of his Dad’s garage please?” Another five minutes of Alice rambling on passes before Jughead’s voice appears on the other end with a joyful ‘Merry Christmas’��and a direct contact to someone who might be able to help.

She thanks him quickly, hanging up before she can even finish saying goodbye, so he doesn’t have a chance to hand the phone back. And as she leans against the car behind her, the same car that had given up on her just as she passed the town sign, she dials the number and hopes she’ll make it home in time for dinner.

Otherwise, she might never hear the end of it.

“Again, in English?” Y/N cocks an eyebrow at him, the string of words he’d just said sounding almost foreign in her head.

She doesn’t mean for it to sound as rude as it does, but she can’t help it. She’s tired, exhausted even, not to mention cold. The snow fall had picked up five minutes after she’d called the number Jug had given her and it had taken him, or Sweet Pea as he’d introduced himself, almost 40 minutes to reach her.

But he just laughs it off, smirks before firing it straight back at her. “You aren’t getting anywhere in this car, anytime soon princess.”

“Great!” It’s official. Her mom’s going to kill her and she’ll be blamed for ruining Christmas. She throws her hands up in defeat, kicking a tyre in the process. “Just great!”

“If it makes you feel better, this isn’t how I planned on spending my Christmas Eve either.” He watches her amused, another laugh passing his lips before the sarcastic remark follows, his arms now crossed over his chest and she almost feels guilty.

“I’m sorry for being such an inconvenience.” She throws a false apology at him along with a fake grin that falls into a frown almost immediately.

“Apology accepted.” She’s scowling at him now, eyes rolling back but he simply ignores it, happy to keep winding her up. “Want me to give you a ride somewhere while I tow this back?”

“Only on one condition.” She points a finger over her shoulder towards his trunk, the radio still on loud. “We find a station that isn’t playing Christmas music.”

“Hey, it’s either Mariah Carey, or you walk Sweetheart.” He shrugs, walking backwards, watching her make the choice.

He can’t help but laugh again when she sighs and runs to the passenger seat, desperate to seek shelter from the snow.

10 minutes after Sweet Pea kindly drops her off at her childhood home, Y/N finds herself still on the porch out front, mentally preparing herself for what’s about to come.

She sucks in a breath. Two, three. And with a fake smile so sickly sweet it makes her stomach hurt; she lets herself in.

Polly’s the first to spot her, catches her the minute she walks through the door and pulls her into a hug before she can even drop her bags. She can’t help but sink into the embrace, it’s always nice to see her older sister alone like this, but Y/N doesn’t even get the chance to ask her how she is before the twins descend down the stairs and push past them in a blur.

“Juniper put the presents down- Dagwood no!” She feels Polly gently squeeze her hand in a silent way of saying they’ll catch up later before she’s chasing after them, joining an exhausted looking Jason who pauses long enough to wave a quick hello before he resumes pursuit.

She moves further into the house, away from the chaos of the living room and towards the interesting smells wafting from the kitchen. It’s impossible not to hear her Mother barking orders from where she stands over the stove, while Jug and Betty listen to every word, working on the dining table and it’s fixtures like a well-oiled machine.

“Y/N/N you’re here!” Betty looks up with a soft smile but doesn’t dare move from her task and face the wrath of Alice Cooper.

“Finally!” It’s Alice’s turn to look at her now, a perfectly shaped eyebrow arching in distaste as her eyes roam over her middle daughter. “Please tell me you aren’t wearing that to dinner?”

Y/N lets out a breath she didn’t realise she was holding and prepares to fire back when a gentle arm lands around her shoulder with a calming chuckle.

“Oh come on Mom, Y/N looks fine.” Charles plants a quick kiss to her forehead before ruffling her hair and they both laugh. Her brother had always been her saving grace in situations like this, the only one brave enough to stand up for himself and the others, ever the mediator. But not even he was enough to put Alice off her persistent questioning, she was already sick of her Mother’s judgement and they hadn’t even touched on her job or her relationship status yet.

“You’ve definitely told them we aren’t officially together, right?” Sweet Pea takes one last, slow drag of his cigarette before stomping it out under his boot. Josie nods at him reassuringly but one look up at the exterior of her parents house has his stomach in knots. “They know we’re just casual?”

“Sweet Pea would you stop?” She playfully pokes at his ribs, but he just sighs and rubs a nervous hand down his face.

He couldn’t help it, that sick feeling rising from the pit of stomach by the second. The idea of spending Christmas with Josie’s family, a girl he’d only been dating for a month, was absolutely terrifying on all levels. But Fangs had ditched him to spend the holidays with his boyfriend in New York, not that he could really blame him, and he had no other family in town so when she originally offered, he’d jumped at the chance of not spending the day alone.

Part of him had regretted it since.

If Sweet Pea thought the outside of house was impressive, with it’s perfectly placed lights and overly decorated windows, it was nothing compared to what was waiting for him on the inside.

Myles and Sierra McCoy welcome them at the front door with bright smiles and open arms that engulf Sweet Pea before he even has the chance to say hello.

Josie joins in, the four of them becoming one big, massive group hug like he’s been part of their family his whole life and not just a stranger potentially only passing through. All three of them squeal in excitement before someone yanks him in doors.

If he had doubts before, he thinks, he’s almost certain he’s in over his head now.

Betty gets engaged on Christmas Morning.

Right in front of the Christmas tree, just after the last presents are opened and the twins are happily distracted by a mountain of toys; Jughead drops to one knee and pops the question under twinkling lights.

The minute Betty gasps the word ‘yes’ the family erupts in cheers, fawning over the couple. Of course Alice is already crying, Polly demands to see the ring, while Charles and Jason pat Jug on the back.

Y/N however stays put, her eyes falling down into her mug of spiked coffee that her mom had scolded her over, eyebrows raised over the rim as she knocks it back.

“Aren’t you going to congratulate your sister?” Alice sends her a pointed look, catching her before she can slope off into the peaceful confines of the kitchen.

“Congrats Betts.” She pulls her into a hug and paints on the biggest smile she can muster as she mumbles into her hair. “I’m so happy for you.”

And she is. Her sisters getting everything she’s dreamed of with Jug, of course she’s happy, but it’s hard to ignore the fact that her younger sister will be married before her.

Even Charles has betrayed her this year and invited a date to Christmas dinner leaving her the last single Cooper. And her mom wasn’t prepared to let her forget it anytime soon.

Sweet Pea successfully manages to make it through family movie night, forcefully sat between Josie and her mother, hot cocoa in hand and surrounded from all sides. He even grins and bares the series of photo albums that follow, another embarrassing photo of Josie lurking behind every page turn, but he draws the line when the marriage talk starts, declaring he’s suddenly tired and turns to run up the stairs so fast he’s surprised he doesn’t pull something on the way.

Sienna wakes them up on Christmas morning with a soft knock at 8am sharp, wearing a bright red Christmas jumper and holding two more for the both them.

The mere idea of it makes Sweet Pea’s skin itch as much as the material does once he begrudgingly pulls it over his head.

The rest of the morning is spent sipping coffee, watching the three McCoy’s exchanging gifts. He’s too distracted, wondering if it’s still too late to find a way out of the whole thing to even notice Josie standing in front of him until she’s shoved the present right under his nose.

“Merry Christmas my love.” She places it down on his lap and Sweet Pea finds himself wanting the ground to open up and swallow him whole.

“Jose I… I thought we said we weren’t doing gifts?” All three pairs of eyes are now on him, burning their way into his skin and he’s sure he’s never felt embarrassment like it.

“But that was just a joke, right?” He smiles awkwardly when she laughs, but the sound is humourless, and he can already see the anger bubbling behind her eyes. She doesn’t even give him the chance to reply. “What, so I’m good enough to sleep with but you can’t buy me a gift?”

He chokes, shocked by her transparency around her parents while his cheeks redden by the second.

Ten minutes later he’s out on the drive, bags thrown in the back of his truck, scrambling to get away as fast as he can.

Christmas Day ends the way it started.

Miserably sat at the kitchen table, sipping on something alcoholic held in her hand.

Polly and Jason had slipped off not long after dinner, taking two sugar high kids and all their loud noises with them. Betty and Jug now sit on one couch, his arms wrapped around her shoulders, her head resting on her chest, content in their own bubble of love while Alice sits on the other, quizzing Kevin Keller, Charles’ surprise date. She’d feel bad for him if she wasn’t already feeling relieved that her Mother’s attention had turned to someone else for five minutes. Her brother sits besides her, topping up a glass of red.

“He seems nice.” Charles hums in response, biting back a laugh. Was she missing a joke? “What?”

“If I tell you something, you can’t tell the others.” A quick eager nod and she’s shuffling closer so he can whisper his secret. “Kev’s just my Holidate.”

She blinks back in shock. “Holidate?”

“Just a date for the holiday, someone to keep Mom off my back.” He shrugs like it’s nothing, like it’s the simplest solution to the problem. He sips his wine while he waits for her to process it. “There’s no strings attached and I don’t have to spend events alone. I’m even heading down to his parents after New Years to return the favour.”

“Thats...” Y/N breathes out, she’s a little envious she hadn’t thought of it herself. “What an idea.”

Y/N sinks into a booth at Pop’s Chocklit Shoppe two days later with a sigh of relief, happy to welcome the peace that comes with being away from her family.

She loves them, her siblings, her mother, the twins, of course but it’s exhausting. The intruding questions, the never ending merry go round of pity and interfering. She knows deep down it’s only because they care, but sometimes she wished they’d just leave her alone.

Pops promptly brings her order of curly fries over, with a soft smile and an extra chocolate shake on the side she didn’t order. It’s been two years since she last stepped into the place, yet he still remembers her favourite like it was yesterday.

“It’s good to see you Y/N.” There’s something in his tone that just feels like home and she finds herself welcoming it, it’s been a long time since anything in Riverdale has felt anything close to that, not since the truth about her dad.

Pops doesn’t stick around, a light pat to her shoulder before he’s a retreating form, leaving her to her thoughts. She barely makes it through a fry before someone’s sliding in opposite her.

Sweet Pea pushes the key across the table, grinning cheekily as he helps himself to the basket in front of him. She barely knows him and he’s already stealing her food. “One fully functional car.”

“Finally!” She snatched them up, hiding them

in her bag and he can see the tension practically melting from her shoulders. “Now I can get out of the hell hole.”

“Christmas went that well? He asks, curiosity peaked.

“You could say that.” She presses herself further into her seat, huffing as she rubs the palm of her hands against her jeans. The anxious look in her eyes tells him that what ever she might say next won’t necessarily make sense and she’s a little embarrassed by it. “My sister got engaged.”

“To FPS son right?” He vaguely recalls his boss proudly telling anyone who would listen that morning. “And that’s a bad thing?”

“She’s my younger sister, and now, as I’m about to be the only official unmarried Cooper daughter my mom has even more of an excuse to interfere in my love life.” The words just slip out and she finds part of her gladly confessing her thoughts to a virtual stranger instead of keeping them in. He smiles in a way that tells her he gets it.

“Yeah well, bet you a chocolate shake mine was worse.” He ignores the glare she sends him when he innocently brings her existing milkshake to his lips and continues when she says nothing. “I spent it with someone I’ve been dating for four weeks and her parents.”

She almost chokes on a curly fry. “You got serious that quick?”

“Of course not, and we both knew it.” She stares at him like he has two heads, he knows she can’t quite fit ‘causal relationship’ and ‘family Christmas’ together so he does it for her. “Didn’t want to spend the day alone so I took her up on the offer. Cue overbearing parents, the cringest matching jumpers and the ultimate gift exchange where I got her nothing because we agreed no presents.”

“Aren’t you old enough to know by now that no gifts definitely means get her a gift?” She laughs when he rolls his eyes.

“Ended with her kicking me out before dinner.” She shakes her head, laughs again as she calls him tragic and a tiny part of him agrees. “And now I’m officially dateless for New Year’s Eve.”

“Thanks for reminding me I have to come back in a few days to attend Riverdale’s Annual Blossom New Years Eve Party alone for the second year running.” She wrinkles her nose in disgusted, unprepared to have her friends on her back as well as her family, and ends up missing the way his eyebrows raise in surprise.

“You know Toni and Cheryl?”

“T’s been my best friend longer than I can remember and Cheryl’s brother is married to my sister, guess you could say I know them pretty well.” She tilts her head to the side, eying him slowly, like she suddenly sees him in a different way. “How’d you know them?”

“Guess you could say I spend more time than I should at the Wyrm.” The mention of Toni’s bar lights up her face. “Plus Toni’s been a really good friend to me since I got here, I was actually meant to be taking Josie to their party.”

“I think I know a way to solve our little problem.” A plan suddenly forms in her head, he doesn’t know whether to be worried or not as he watches the smile on her face widen. “Sweet Pea how would you like to be my Holidate this Friday?”

“Your holi-what?”

Forever Taglist: @p-marie-sp

Sweet Pea Taglist: @80sand90simagine @wildberryyyy @hopelesslylosttheway @be-gay-do-crime-cutie

Holidate Taglist: @popcrone818

#riverdale #riverdale imagine #riverdale sweet pea #riverdale fanficton #riverdale series #riverdale au #riverdale edit #riverdale one shot #sweet pea #sweet pea x reader #sweet pea riverdale #sweet pea au #sweet pea fanfiction #sweet pea imagine #sweet pea one shot #sweet pea edit #sweet pea series #holidate #Holidate au

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popcrone818 · 4 years ago

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Spitfire-chapter 3

Sorry that I've been gone for so long, here is the next chapter in my Sweet Pea story.

Hope you enjoy please leave feedback.

Aurora’s POV

I stormed out of Sweet Pea’s trailer, tears coming to my eyes as the scene played on repeat in my mind. He only saw me as a friend nothing more, no matter how close we had been. I heard a bang coming from his trailer and I knew that he knew I wasn’t coming back. I sat in my car just outside Sunnyside Trailer park as I watched Toni and Fangs ride in on their bikes. I knew they were going to Sweet Pea’s as today was our normal day of watching movies until we got bored and ordered food. It’ll be a shock to them that I’m not there cuddled up to him already. I threw my car into drive and took off back to my house, hoping that Archie was with Veronica and that dad was at work. I didn’t want to deal with anyone else today I just wanted to lay in the bath and listen to music. There were no cars in the drive way when I got home so I headed straight upstairs to my bathroom and started running a bath with bubbles for myself. I had cried the whole way home and my eyes were puffy and my makeup smudged. I lit a few candles around the bathroom before I heard the doorbell ring just as I was about to get undressed. I groaned and headed back downstairs my socked feet making little noise on the hardwood floors.

“This better be fucking good I’m not in the mood.” I swung the door open to be face to face with Toni. She grabbed my shoulders and pulled me into her body. I felt sobs wrack my body as she moved us inside.

“It’s okay, come one I know that you want a bath, I’ll help you.” She led me upstairs and back into the bathroom that smelt like the teakwood candles I had lit before Toni arrived. She helped me undressed which isn’t weird even though she’s gay, this isn’t the first time Sweet Pea has been a dick and I’ve needed a bath. She switched on her playlist specifically designed for moments like these and she came to sit on the edge of the bath with some make up wipes. After helping me take off my smudged makeup she sat down on the cold tile of the bathroom and turned to me. “Tell me what happened. He told us what happened but what happened with your side.” I sunk down lower in the bath before I answered her.

“Basically he thinks that I need protecting, that I’m so fucking breakable that he needs to protect me from everyone.” I took a deep breath and looked at her.

“Oh honey, no he doesn’t, he knows how strong you are. You have never not once backed down from putting him in his place, when most people would from one single glance from him. That first day we met you I remember talking to him once you left, he said that no one has ever stood up to him like that. We teased him saying that he liked you but he brushed us off. When you did your dance he couldn’t take his eyes off you. But I know for a fact he wasn’t thinking sexually, there was nothing going on in his pants when Fangs looked at him. That may sound bad but what I’m really trying to tell you is that; he may be a dick, and he may have anger issues that he really needs to resolve but he does like you, as more than a friend, he’s just afraid of you leaving, he only has us. Well us and the serpents, but even then he really only has the three of us and he’s terrified of any of us leaving him.” I blinked back tears as her words sunk in. I had just walked out of one of my best friends lives just because he called me a friend and because I thought he thought of me as breakable.

“Should I go back over there?” I asked her.

“God no, make him grovel, you’re a badass bitch who don’t need no man. Make him want you that much more, make him squirm. Honestly he probably deserves it. Tonight you and I are having a girls night.” She giggled causing me to giggle. “Now where do you hide your face masks?” I pointed out the bottom drawer in the vanity. She nodded and got out all the different masks that I have before she took off out the door. I shook my head at her before she came back in dressed in a pair of my pjs and carrying another pair along with underwear for me. She was wearing a light green pair that consisted of booty shorts and a spaghetti strap tank top. For me she had grabbed my black booty shorts with my huge tshirt that I had stolen from Sweet Pea. I glared at her before I got out wrapping a towel around my body and drying off.

“I thought we were trying to make me feel better not make me miss him.” I held up the shirt to the front of my body.

“Shit I forgot that was his.” I waved her off and pulled it over my head. I may be pissed at him but he still smelt amazing. Even the candles I had put on reminded me of his scent. We spent the rest of the night talking shit about Sweet Pea and Fangs and also laughing our asses off at memories either with or without the boys as we did masks and watched stupid girly movies which made the both of us cry.

Sweet Pea’s POV

Summer had came quickly. Rory was avoiding me at any cost, serpent meetings she would stay by the bar with Toni, or she would be working the bar. She never came to the wyrm to just hang out anymore and when I saw her in school she kept her headphones in and her head down. I had been spending a lot of time with Josie McCoy and she was fun sure but she was no Rory, I thought she could help me get over her but she couldn’t. She and I were just using each other and called it a summer fling but a couple weeks in I couldn’t do it anymore. I had watched Rory laughing at Fangs and Toni in the wyrm and I just felt like absolute shit, so I stormed out of the wyrm jumped in my bike and made my way to Josie’s.

“Didn’t know we had a hook up scheduled.” She chuckled as she opened her door.

“I’m not here for a hook up.” I told her looking down at my feet. “I cant keep doing this Josie, I’m sorry.” I went to turn back around and leave when she grabbed my shoulder turning me around. Her lips were on mine and before I could even think we were up in her room hooking up yet again. I looked at her and suddenly I couldn’t see Josie anymore I saw Rory which made me kiss down her neck and bite harshly. I felt her moan which only spurred me on more.

It wasn’t until I was laying down staring up at the ceiling that I finally saw Josie not Rory. I frowned and looked at Josie before I got up to collect my clothes.

“This is it, no more I cant keep doing this to myself.” I told her as I buckled my belt back up.

“You love her don’t you?” She asked as she wrapped a sheet around her body.

“Who?” I asked her playing dumb, in the last 6 months all I have been able to think about is Rory, I have finally come to the realisation that the things we used to do we did because I liked her.

“Aurora Andrews.” I looked down at the floor as I shrugged on my jacket.

“Yeah I do. I have since I met her.”

“Then go get her dumbass. You’re the reason she has changed and you and I were only doing this so that we could forget other people. And I know I’m not the only one it hasn’t worked for. I don’t know how many times you’ve called me Rory.” I turned away from her and started to head out the door. “I hope it works out for you Sweet Pea, you’re a really great guy and I’m sorry for using you these past couple of weeks.”

“I’m sorry too, I hope everything works out for you.” With that I walked out of her room and out of her house.

I made my way to Wyrm knowing tonight was a night she was doing a shift with Toni, I had to talk to her, I needed to talk to her even if I can only get her back as a friend I don’t care. I quickly spotted Toni as I walked in, but she quickly ducked into the room behind the bar.

Aurora POV

Toni joined me in the back room as I tied my hair up getting ready for my shift.

“He’s here, you either start the plan now or you keep waiting hoping life will go on. But I know the both of you are miserable without the other.” She went to turn around and walk out before I spoke up.

“He has Josie now.” She spun back around to me as my voice was so quiet. “He doesn’t want me anymore and the plan is now null and void. Can I just have the night off?” She shook her head and grabbed both of my shoulders before pushing me out the door. I stumbled a little bit before I crashed into a strong chest. Their arms wound around my waist and I was hit wth a familiar scent, one I hadn’t smelt in months, other than the occasional candle that had a similar scent. Minus the leather and cigarette smell. I looked up craning my neck slightly as I was in heels so I wasn’t as short as I normally would be, and I found myself lost in his deep dark pools of whiskey. He cleared his throat and I pushed myself away from his strong arms and chest standing on my own. I crossed my arms over my chest and just stared at him as I waited for him to say something.

“Rory.” He breathed out reaching his hand out to me. I took another step back away from him and saw his face fall. “I’m sorry about that night, I’m a fucking idiot, I didn’t realise only calling you a friend and making you think that I thought you were fragile would do this. I like protecting you, even though I know you can protect yourself, I like knowing that I’m needed. These past couple of months I have missed your touch, have missed our banter, I’ve missed the way you push me to be someone better than just a drug running Serpent. Aurora Andrew’s I miss you so much and I never thought I would ever say that about a Northsider but you are different.” He took a deep breath and our eyes locked. I felt my resolve crumple around me and I reached my arms up and tangled my hands in his hair bringing his body closer to mine. Feelings aside, because he never mentioned them and I knew he was with Josie now, I knew I missed my best friend.

“Ive missed you too Sweets, I’ve missed sitting on you, I’ve missed our movie nights and cuddles. I’ve missed everything about you even the way you smell, which sounds weird now that I say that out loud. I had this whole plan to make you regret being a dick but standing here in your arms I know that I never want to go that long without your arms wrapped around me again.” I buried my head in his chest and I felt him chuckle as he ran his fingers through my hair.

“What did this plan entail?” He asked me pulling away from me slightly.

“Basically it was just making you regret the way that you spoke to me, showing you I wasn’t fragile and kicking some Ghoulie ass, but thinking about that now I can see how stupid it was.” I laughed and brought him in for another hug. His head rested in the crook of my neck and I felt his breath fan over the exposed skin.

“Rory, shift is starting!” I heard Toni yell from behind the bar. I pulled away from Sweet Pea and placed a soft kiss on his cheek before I strutted away swinging my hips more than normal as I felt his eyes on me. He is such a boy. I joined Toni behind the bar and watched as Sweet Pea walked over to Fangs to start a game of pool. “So… that looked promising?” She questioned me as we started to serve some of the patrons of the bar.

“He apologised and told me all of these cute things that he missed about me, I was fucking putty in his hands and he knew that. I wanted to make him work for it but as soon as I felt his touch I was fucking gone. Toni I think I love that man over there.” She squealed and pulled me into her.

“I’m so gad you finally see it. Ive been saying that for months and you’ve just brushed me off every time. I actually remember you threatening me over it once too.” We giggled at each other and my eyes found Sweet Pea, he was already looking at me and we made eye contact before I blushed and turned away from him back to the job at hand of getting the older serpents drunk.

“Hey pretty lady, what are you doing after you finish up here?” I heard a deep baritone voice coming from behind me and instantly tensed up. I turned around slowly and threw the rag I had in my hands at Sweet Pea.

“I was seriously about to cuss you out and tell you I had a boyfriend, they always leave me alone when I do that.” He threw the rag back at me and I got back to the tedious job of cleaning all the glasses.

“You get that often then I assume?” He asked me as he sat at the bar. I rolled my eyes at him and grabbed a beer out for him.

“Every so often, once they saw I wasn’t around you as often they started to get worse. I guess your just a really scary badass Serpent that even the older serpents are afraid of.”

“Yeah I kicked one of their asses a few months back and no one has looked me in the eye since.” He took a swig of his beer before my attention had to be taken away by another Serpent.

“Hey hot stuff!” I rolled my eyes but went over to him anyway. “Once your done with mister 30 seconds I’ll take a beer and your number thanks.” He winked at me and I watched from the corner of my eyes as Sweet Pea clenched and unclenched his fists. I bent over slightly more than I needed to in Sweet Pea’s line of sight as I got the beer out.

“You can have the beer, because that’s my job, but my number and my attention are saved for him, so I would appreciate any rude remarks to be kept to a minimum or non existent.” I sent him a wink and shoved the beer into his hand before turning back to Sweet Pea.

“Um, when did that happen?” He asked gesturing to my body.

“Um, when my big cuddly teddy bear decided to be a dick. I told you I could take care of myself, now you’ve seen me in action.” I rolled my eyes at him as he looked back over to the perv from before. “Plus he probably heard you hit on me and I didn’t say anything so he thought it was alright tonight.” I shrugged and started to wipe down the bar.

“I always knew you could handle yourself Rory, I’m just very protective, and I guess you could say territorial as well.” He looked down at the bar not meeting my eyes.

“Oh I know you are Sweets, why do you think I let you give me all those hickies anyway?” He gave me a questioning look finally meeting my eye as I leant against the bar on the other side.

“Wait, what? You knew I was doing that to keep pervs like that fuckwit away from you?” He asked me, I nodded and leant over closer to him on the bar. My boobs getting squished between the bar top and my body.

“Of curse I did, I also knew you beat up the first Serpent that tried to hit on me too. I’m not stupid Sweets.”

“Never said you were. What time do you get off anyway?” He asked me as I leaned back to look at the clock.

“Uh, in 15 why?”

“Movies at mine? No Fangs, no Toni just the two of us?”

“Absolutely!” I looked around for Toni hoping I could get off early. I found her over by the pool tables with Fangs. “You go talk to her, I’ll make sure everything is right for her to take over.” He nodded and got up making his way over to Toni and Fangs, I saw her nod her head as I wiped the bar clean.

“So you having movie night without us tonight?” She asked as she retied her apron on her hips. I nodded and blushed. “Get out of here, and if I don’t get an update tonight I’ll assume things went great and we should start planning your wedding tomorrow.” She winked at me causing me to blush even darker. She pulled me into a tight hug before placing a kiss on my cheek.

“Ready?” Sweet Pea asked from behind Toni. I nodded and pulled off my apron before going into the back to get my things. Sweet Pea placed a hand in the small of my back as we made our way out of the Wyrm.

“USE PROTECTION!” I heard Fangs yell from inside and I blushed and looked at Sweet Pea.

“Toni also thinks something is going to happen tonight.”

“It can if you want.” He whispered in my ear before handing me his helmet. I shook my head and gestured to my own bike. His eyes nearly fell out of his head at my baby. I grinned before placing a kiss on his cheek and skipping off to my bike, turning the key and hearing the engine roar to life. I looked back to Sweet Pea who hadn’t moved yet, his jaw going slack before I winked at him and sped off to his trailer.

Being back in his trailer again after so many weeks of not being here was weird, he handed me a glass of water before we sat down on his couch and faced each other.

“How have you been?” He sat down his glass and licked his lips. I found myself watching his every move.

“Not too bad, been busy working and you know things with school.” He ran his fingers through his hair and I felt my fingers twitch.

“Okay, look we used to be close, I want to get back to that and this small talk bullshit is not helping our situation. In the last couple of months we have both been avoiding each other, after you stormed out of my trailer Toni told me why she thought I lost you. Look, I called you a friend because I thought that’s what we were, just best friends.”

“Look I understand that we were friends and I know that you calling me a friend shouldn’t have effected me the way that it did. But it happened and I acted on impulse,”

“The way that you left effected me in a way that it shouldn’t have as well. We were both acting on emotions, I love you Aurora, that is why I protect you, that is why I acted the way I did with Mantle that day, and why I got so emotional when you told me you could handle yourself. I know you can but I like feeling like I’m needed, needed by someone so important in my life. It gives me a feeling of accomplishment. I miss the feeling of your fingers on my skin, I miss when you would push me in the chest when I was being a dick, I miss you sitting in my lap and wrapping my arms around you, I miss cuddling in the couch and watching movies until all hours of the night.” He reached forward and took my hand in his anger one, he looked down at our interlocked hands and started to fidget with one of my many rings. “These past couple of months have been hell for me, as Im sure it has been for you. Toni hardly spoke to me she would talk to me through Fangs, and I knew she was with you when she wasn’t with us. It killed me not having you right beside me.” I squeezed his hand and looked into his deep whiskey eyes. I’m could see a slight sheen to his eyes and squeezed his hand again.

“Sweet’s, these months have been just as hard for me too, that’s why Toni stayed with me. I reacted the way I did because I thought we had something, because I thought you could see I could handle myself and when you would jump in it made me feel like you didn’t have that faith in me. I thought you cared enough to let me be myself. It hurt Sweet Pea,”

“Noah,” I cocked my head to the side and looked at him strangely. “My name, its Noah.” He looked down at his lap and I felt my face contort into a smile. “No one knows, so please keep it to yourself.” He avoided looking up at me. I reached forward with my free hand and grasped his jaw tilting his head to look at me. I held his gaze.

“Noah, I will never let anyone know. Thank you for sharing that with me.” He let go of my hand and I felt his calloused hands rest on either side of my face.

“I want to do something.” I nodded my head holding eye contact with him. He leaned in pulling my face closer to his, I closed my eyes as his lips gently brushed mine before he pulled my face even closer and deepened the kiss. He pulled away from me slowly I kept my eyes closed but caressed his hands gently as they laid on my jaw. “Aurora Andrews, I have loved you since you stood up to me, I felt soft and weak under your gaze,” I felt his thumb softly rub his thumb against the apple of my cheek. “I honestly hated the feeling but I found myself drawn to you, to feel your touch and to feel your gaze on my skin once again. I craved the feeling of your skin on mine, I became protective of you, I hated it when you joined and did the dance, I never wanted this life for you, I don’t even want this life for me, but if you feel the same I will work tirelessly to give you the life that you deserve.” I felt a tear roll down my cheek and Sweet Pea was quick to wipe it away. I opened my eyes and felt myself get lost in his honey coloured eyes.

“Of course I feel the same, I’m strong but I feel weak around you, I feel butterflies whenever you touch me, which is a lot by the way. I want a life with you Noah, we can get out of this together and have what we want.” I took his hands off my face and held them in my own. “I love you Noah.”

“I love you Aurora.” I pulled his face closer to mine and planted my lips on his, he pulled back slowly and rested his forehead on mine. “Be mine?” I nodded keeping my eyes closed when he pulled me impossibly closer almost sitting on his lap before kissing me passionately with his arms wrapped around my waist.

#sweet pea imagines #sweet pea x oc #sweet pea x reader #riverdale

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amazingphanisnotonfire-imagines · 4 years ago

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Sweet Pea//the other one

Request: Where the reader is Josies sister, but best friends with Sweet Pea, Toni and Fangs and is secretly in love with Sweet Pea and well Josie does not know this and you can take it from here :)

hey! so this is angstyyyy, but it was fun to write! and just a warning, there is no happy ending, sorry! have a wonderful day/night!

part 2!

Being a McCoy, you get used to knowing everybody’s business, whether by accident or on purpose (eavesdropping on your mom’s meetings), but something’s happened recently that neither you nor the rest of the serpents can figure out.

Sweet Pea has changed, everyone has noticed it. Over the summer it was a relatively good change. Yeah, you didn’t really see him much because he was busy doing odd jobs at all times of the day, but when you did see him, he was the happiest he’d ever been. He actually smiled, and not just at you, Toni or Fangs, but to everyone...even Reggie. He was also chatty, and he’d never been chatty in the entire time you’d known him.

It was like a whole new side to him and another side for you to fall for.

His smile was as bright as the sun and made you feel just as warm, and you were so glad that other people were seeing it too. Because yes, the brooding bad boy act is very attractive on him...but a smile is just wonderful.

But then as quickly as Summer was over, it just disappeared. School started again and he went back to being the same old Sweet Pea. He didn’t talk to anyone, didn’t smile. He just sat in the background, not really engaging in anyone’s conversations.

If anything he seemed sad. He no longer smiled when Fangs told him a stupid joke, or laughed at Toni’s sometime’s questionable outfits she was only wearing to make Cheryl happy. He stopped hanging out at the the Wyrm on Friday nights and avoided going to the weekly bonfire’s at the Quarry.

He was just existing. And to say you were worried was an understatement. For weeks you, Toni and Fangs had tried multiple times to try and get him to talk about what was happening. There was clearly something off and given Riverdale’s history, you were all worried he’d gotten himself into something he couldn’t get out of.

But whenever you asked he just seemed to shut down. He’d become cagey and short, dismissing whatever you’d said with a shrug and an annoyed ‘i’m fine’.

You asked around the other serpents, wondering if they’d seen anything odd happening but they were all as clueless as you were. And this time your problem couldn’t be solved by hanging outside of your mom’s meetings.

Josie had told you multiple to just stay out of whatever was going on as he clearly didn’t want you to know. But she had never liked Sweet Pea anyway so she probably just didn’t care, and just wanted you to shut up about him.

You’d been friends with the serpents for years. Even when everyone hated them you proudly called, Sweet Pea, Toni and Fangs your best friends. You sat with them at lunch, hung out with them after school, despite what your mom, sister and friends had to say.

“Sweet Pea never showed up today. Did you see him?” Toni asks and you shake your head, despite her not being able to see. A cold breeze blows through your hair and you look around.

Tent city looks far creepier at night that it does at day and you’re glad you can see Sweet Pea’s not so far away.

“Nope.” You reply and rearrange the bags in your hand. “What about Fangs? He might have seen him.”

“I already text him. He said he hasn’t seen him either.” She replies and you let out a disappointed huff. “Do you think he’s okay?” She asks after a few seconds of silence.

“I dunno.” You say honestly. “There’s clearly something not right. But I’ve bought all of his favourite snacks, and I’ve brought my laptop so we can watch whatever he wants and hopefully that’ll cheer him up. Or maybe just get him to talk.” You smile down at the bags you’re holding, hope blooming in your chest.

“Hopefully.” She mumbles and you hear her move around. “Did you get Fangs’ a snack too while you were shopping?”

“What do you think?”

“Hopefully yes? You know what he’s like.” She replies and the two of you laugh.

“Yes, I got his favourite. And I got your favourite too.”

“Aww. You really are the best friend a girl could have.” She teases.

“I know.” You shrug. “It really is an honor to be my friend, I hope you know this.”

“Of course I do.” She replies. “We all do. Wait, don’t you have an English project due tomorrow?”

“Yeah? And?”

“And have you started it yet?” She asks and you roll your eyes.

“...no.” You mumble and she tuts down the phone. “Shut up...mom.”

“Oh, if I was your mother you’d know about it. You wouldn’t be abandoning school projects for some boy.” She scolds, making you roll your eyes again.

“Do you really think my mom knows where I am? She may have become indifferent towards the Southside but do you really think she’d approve of her daughter hanging out with a serpent instead of doing school work.” You ask and she hums in reply.

“Fair enough.” She laughs. “Where does she think you are?”

“She thinks I’m with Betty, having a study date.”

“Clever.” She nods. “Y/n?” She asks, her voice becoming suddenly serious and anxiety rises in your chest. You hate that tone, no matter who’s using it. But Toni only ever uses it whenever she wants to talk about two things, your feelings or Sweet Pea. “Do you still like Sweet Pea?” She sounds almost like she’s forcing the words out and your mouth goes dry.

Toni and Fangs weren’t ever meant to know just how hard you’d fallen for Sweet Pea. But apparently when you’re drunk you get sad and spill your guts about every feeling you’ve ever had for anyone.

You told Fangs how you thought he was cute when you first met and how you thought Toni was very pretty when you first met her. By the next morning the could recite the names of all your crushes dating back to kindergarten and not even you knew their names, but apparently when you’re drunk you do.

It ended in Toni and Fangs taking you back to hers and you telling them that you were in love with Sweet Pea before passing out on her bathroom floor. The next morning while you were hungover and dying, they made you have the most painful interaction you’d ever had with anybody ever.

But through your liquified brain you told them the truth.

Yes you did like Sweet Pea, you probably even loved him.

Now there’s no probably about it. You know you love him.

A part of you thinks you always have but you were just too afraid of what people would say. You’d never be allowed to date a serpent, especially because of who you were and what your family name meant to this town. You’d be the outcast, you already were because of the people you were friends with.

Now though, the residents of Riverdale have been dragged to the 21st century and very slowly, they’re realizing that it doesn’t really matter what side of the town you’re from.

Although you’re still not sure your mom would be very pleased if you came home and introduced Sweet Pea as your boyfriend...not that that would happen anytime soon anyway.

“I er. Yeah.” You stutter.

“Okay.” She says awkwardly and both of you go quiet, not really sure what to say next. “I-”

“Shhh.” You cut her off, the sound of twigs crunching makes you pause and look up. Your eyebrows furrow as you watch your sister walk towards Sweet Pea’s trailer.

“Y/n? Are you okay?” Toni asks, panic rising in her voice with each word.

“Yeah. I’ll er. I’ll call you back later.” You say, not taking your eyes away from Josie. You can hear Toni asking what’s wrong but you don’t answer, instead you hang up and can already hear the lecture you’re going to get from her the next time you see her.

“Hey, Sweet Pea.” She smiles and disappears into the tent. You pick up your pace until you’re stood outside. You’re about to go in but something in you tells you to wait and see what happens. “Hope you don’t mind me dropping by like this?”

“Always happy to see you, Josie.” Sweet Pea replies and you scrunch your face up in confusion. Since when has Sweet Pea and Josie ever hung out? They usually leave the room as soon as the other one turns up, even after the feud between the North and the Southside.

You always assumed its just because they simply didn’t get along, that was fine. Not everyone is going to like each other, but something about this feels odd, you just can’t quite put your finger on it. “Especially if this is a...” He trails off, but there’s a playfulness in his tone that you thought was only reserved for you. You heart sinks and you look at the the brown leaves wet and rotting on the floor.

“A booty call?” Josie replies and your eyes widen.

“Wouldn’t be the first one we’ve had since our Summer fling ended.” He laughs and the realisation sinks in. You’ve been so stupid. For years you’ve fawned over and followed Sweet Pea, constantly trying to cheer him up or make him laugh and get him to see the real you.

And he has, he’s been looking at it all those years, he just didn’t like it. He preferred Josie instead. Smarter, prettier Josie who’s way more popular and talented and just better than you at everything, including liking Sweet Pea it seems. Tears prick at your eyes and you sniffle, wanting nothing more than to run away and hide, but you can’t. Your feet are stuck, despite the rest of your body screaming at you to run.

Run as far away from them as possible. Run until no one can find you. Just run.

“Well, it’s not.” She says awkwardly. “Um...I don’t know if you’ve heard, but my mom is getting married, to Kevin’s dad. And I wanted to know if you would be my date to the wedding.”

“As your boyfriend?” He asks hopefully.

“Does it have to be so official?”

“Look, Josie...I like you. And I’d be all in with you in a second, but...but you sliding into my life whenever you don’t wanna be alone. I’m not built that way. Maybe that makes me needy, but I just, I gotta get off this merry-go-round with you.” He sighs and tears run down your cheeks.

“Okay.” She agrees. “You are still invited to the wedding though...if you’d like to come.”

“Yeah, I er. Y/n already invited me anyway.” He shrugs and anger fills your chest. You know you probably shouldn’t, but you just see red and the next thing you know you’re storming through the door, much to the surprise of them both.

“Yeah I did.” You seethe.

“Y/n?” Josie asks, her eyes wide as she scrambles to think of an excuse. “I was jus-”

“What are you doing here?” Sweet Pea jumps up from his bed and stands in front of you.

“I came here to cheer you up, you ass.” You sob and throw the bags to the floor. “I brought all you’re favourite things and I thought we could hang out because you’ve been so sad recently and nobody knows why and we were all so worried about you. But now I do. It’s because of her. And you guys didn’t even tell me. Do you know how worried I’ve been about you?”

“Sorry?” He asks and you shake your head at him, sending him a glare he’s only ever seen a handful of times and never directed at him.

“All those jobs you said you were doing over the summer. It was just a cover wasn’t it?” You cry and he looks over at Josie before nodding slowly.

“Unbelievable.” You laugh bitterly before turning your attention to Josie. She stands a little straighter when you look at her, trying her best to have the upper hand here, but she’s more worried that you’re going to go and tell your mom.

“And you? Really Josie. You go for years hating his guts. You give me so much shit for even talking to him, and you’re screwing him?”

“I er-I.” She stutters.

“I’m such an idiot.” You sigh. “You know a part of me thought you were happier because of me.”

“Y/n.” Sweet Pea tries to reach you but you quickly move away from him.

“Don’t.” You warn.

“Wait, why are you so upset with us? We’ve been getting along, you’ve been wanting that to happen for ages.” Josie asks.

“Because I am!” You shout. “Because you’re the worst sister in the world. You know when we were younger I could never have my own toys. If I had a doll, you had to have it. Even if mom got you one that was exactly the same. On my birthday you had to get your own present otherwise you would steal mine, and even then you’d still steal mine. And I thought, yeah that’s fine. That’s what sisters do and we were just kids then. But then we got older and we had to share friends and finally when I thought I would be able to be liked for being me. Everyone seemed to realize that you were the most interesting out of us. You had a band, and you’re so talented and pretty and just like-able and I’m none of those things.”

“Y/n, that’s not true.” Josie starts, her voice remaining calm despite your loud cries. “It’s not true is it Sweet Pea?” She hisses and Sweet Pea jumps at the tone.

“What, no of course not.” He says, also moving to stand in front of you. Each of them rest a hand on your shoulder but it does nothing to calm you down, if anything it makes you angrier. Years of resentment that’s been simmering under the surface has come to a boiling point.

“Get off!” You shout and they quickly move away.

“And then I got my own friends, a group of people who liked me for who I was and who I could be myself with. I wasn’t just the other McCoy. You know, the mayor, the one in the band and the other one. But then nobody liked them and everyone told me I was horrible for wanting to be friends with them.”

“Y/n. Please just breathe.” Sweet Pea tries again, resting a gentle hand on your upper arm and you suck in a breath.

You’ve never seen him look so worried and you hate yourself for doing that to him, despite what’s just happened. Another set of tears roll down your cheeks and your shoulders slump. Sweet Pea wraps his arms around you, pulling you in for a proper hug and him and Josie share a confused expression.

“Woah.” Fangs’ confused tone cuts through the awkward atmosphere and him and Toni glance at each other before looking and Sweet Pea and then Josie. “We thought you could do with some company. Plus Toni told me that Y/n bought me some Twizzlers and I couldn’t wait until tomorrow. ”

“Forget about the Twizzlers Fangs.” Toni rolls her eyes and he lets out a disappointed whine. “What’s she doing here?” Toni asks and Josie looks at the floor.

“Leaving.” Josie nods at them. “I’ll see you around Sweet Pea.”

“No you’re not.” You reply and move away from Sweet Pea to grab her wrist. “I know why Sweet Pea went from being so happy to being so depressed.” You fake a cheery tone. Sweet Pea and Josie sigh and look at the floor, while Toni and Fangs just look at you confused.

“It’s because him and Josie were hooking up. But she’s dumped him and that’s what’s made him so sad.”

“Wait really?” Fangs eyes widen. Toni grabs your hand and you send her a watery smile.

“Okay.” You take a shaky breath. “I’ve had enough of chasing after things that clearly aren’t real. So, I’m the one leaving. I’ll see you at home Josie, and don’t worry, I won’t tell mom.” You watch as she lets out a relived sigh and gives you a thankful smile before quickly leaving.

You turn to face Sweet Pea who’s already staring at you. His deep brown eyes scan over your body and it makes your face hot. He’s desperately trying to figure out what’s wrong and you have a feeling the tight feeling that’s settled in your chest, has a matching one sitting in his.

“Goodbye Sweet Pea.” You say the three most painful words you can possibly think of. They taste like ash on your tongue but as soon as they’re out you feel the weight lift a little.

Being in love is nothing like it is in movies. It’s not a secret language that only the two of you know, or spending the entire day with somebody and never wanting it to end.

You thought it was, but it’s not. It’s far more painful than that, especially if the person you’re in love with looks at someone else the way you look at them.

“Where are you going?” He laughs confused.

“I really, really hope she changes her mind.” You smile through your tears and despite everything it’s a genuine wish. He’s still your best friend after all, and you want him to be happy even if it’s not with you.

“What?” His voice breaks as he watches you leave. Toni follows after you and you force yourself to keep staring ahead. Focus on the run down sign up ahead that creaks in the wind and is one storm away from falling down.

“Can someone tell me what I’ve done wrong.” Sweet Pea asks.

“You went after the wrong sister, you idiot.”

#sweet pea #sweet pea x reader #sweet pea imagine #sweet pea x you #sweet pea x y/n #riverdale #riverdale imagine

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chosenimagines · 4 years ago

Text

Our strength lays within words

Universe: Criminal Minds Summary: A girl named Josie stumbles into the office area of the BAU and falls onto the chair at Dr. Spencer Reid’s desk

Warnings: Mentioning of Stabbing and Bullying, Fear, Wound, Blood, Rage

Language: English Request: yes/no Requests [Open]

A/N: This one shot/imagine can be found as well on my wattpad^^

🖊️ 🖊️ 🖊️ 🖊️

____________________________________________

Concentrated she put one foot infront of the other. In the process of doing so she tried hard to not let a moan in pain escape her mouth. The pain was worse than usual. But this day hasn't been any different compared to the previous ones since she has moved to Quantico. Whereas she hasn't had in her old school in Las Vegas any pleasant days either! Slowly she dragged herself from the elevator towards to the office area. She was heading directly to the desk of Dr. Spencer Reid. The moment she has reached the desk she let herself fall on to the chair.

"Hey Reid! Isn't that your little sis over there?" Morgan nudged the young agent. Spencer furrowed his brows irritated. "Yeeeaaah.... That is indeed Josephine!", he replied. Morgan and Reid walked rash to Reid's desk. "Do you know what she's doing here?", Derek asked. He has seen Josephine only one time. It was the day Spencer received custody for his little sister. She has been standing in the middle of the conference room after they had returned from a case. Morgen remembered how lost the girl looked. "No! But I will find out in a seconde.", Reid answered. His walk became brisk and his speed increased. "Hey Josie!", Spencer welcomed his sister. One could hear that her showing up here made him suspicious. That was why he blurt it straight out! "What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be in school?" Josephine dropped her gaze. Reid and Morgan immediately knew what that meant. Josie felt deeply ashamed because of something that most have happened today. Nevertheless, she knew that it had no purpose to lie to her brother or to talk around it. For this reason, Josephine didn't remain silent how she would have liked to do. "I have been sent home.", she muttered into her Hoodie. "I knew that you aren't at home, and I didn't want to be alone! That's why I am here. I hoped to stay with your technical analyst and to do my homework." Josie still avoided to make eye contact with her brother and his friend. The shame ran way too deep. "You can go now if you want to." Reid knelt infront of the intimidated girl. He recognized himself in her current behavior. "But I can't get rid of the feeling that you want to tell me something, don't you?" Josie kept silent this time. She had nothing to say to Spencer. Of course she knew that he would find out sometime. Nevertheless, she didn't want to contribute to this! Besides, Josephine wanted to prove to her brother that she was as strong and intelligent as he was. Because of Josie's silence Spencer wanted to put emphasis on his words when his fingers brushed her hoodie, and he noticed a wet spot. Reid's fingertips were red. This discovery was alarming to the FBI-agent. His eyes scanned Josie's clothes and spotted on her stomach level a stain of blood which steadily grew. Shocked as she was Josephine pressed her hands against the stain. At the same time her sleeves moved up and dark bruises got exposed on her arms. "Josie, what is that?" Spencer didn't receive an answer from his sister. Not only because she didn't want to reply but also, she was about to lose consciousness. "I am going to get a doctor!", Morgan said and ran off. "I am sorry, but I have to do this!", Spencer said and pulls his sister off the chair on to the ground. He pulled her hoodie off her body. "Please lay down!" Josephine did as she was told. She wouldn't have had the power to dissent if she would have wanted to. "Hold on, Josie! Help will get here any seconde. But I have to stop the bleeding. That's why I am going to press on your wound." Josephine groaned because of the pressure Spencer applied on to her wounded body part. "I am so sorry!", Reid repeated every time his sister moaned and groaned. "Reid?!", Derek's voice shrilled across the entire office. "Down here!", Reid yelled back at his friend and colleague. "Hurry! She lost a lot of blood." The next moment the medicals were with Spencer and Josephine. "Listen! You'll need- HEY" Morgan pulled Reid away from his sister to give the first aiders room to do their job. "Morgan, let go of me! Let me go!", the agent demanded. He fought his friend's tight grip tooth and nail. "Reid! REID! You have to calm down. Josephine is taken care of, but you need to let the medicals do their job. We need to do our job and need to find out where your sister got injured!" Wrathful Reid rushed off. He directly went into the room where they kept their case boards. Derek followed him. Morgan watched how Reid thrustingly -almost roughly- moved the board to the place where he needed it. Spencer drew with a marker across the board. The result was a not straight, careless line. "Reid, what are you doing there?", Morgan wanted to know and pushed himself off the doorframe which he has been leaning against. "I am creating a timeline. You said yourself that we need to find out when Josie got injured!" Derek raised his hands defensively. "Put down the weapons, pretty boy! I just want to help you and Josie.", Morgan replied. "And you need to calm down to be helpful for Josie! At the moment you are not able to help anyone." "But-" "Reid, I know you want to help! But you need to slow down." A sigh left Dr Reid's mouth when he sat down on a chair. "Good!", Derek praised his friend. The agent couldn't say another word. "Let's begin!" Hotch entered the room followed by the rest of the team. "What do we know?" Penelope handed everyone their tablets which they used for their work for the BAU. "Josephine Emily Reid. A 16-years old student from Las Vegas. Daughter of Diana and William Reid. Our beloved doctor received custody for her half a year ago. Now she visits the Quantico High! She has excellent grades and is part of the Maths Heads what isn't surprising when you take a look at her relatives. Excluding a one-time appointment with the school psychologist in Vegas she has been unremarkable. And I mean literally unremarkable!" Penelope Garcia took a seat at the top the table. "She seems to have now contact and has been part of any club or team at her old school. Josephine may own some accounts in the world of Social Media, but she has never posted a thing." Now Spencer's head had processed the information. "She has been to a psychologist?", he asks hoarsely. Spencer hasn't known this. His face got pale! "Why?", Reid demanded to know. "I can't find anything about it. According to her student's record there has been some incident that has been solved." "AN INCIDENT?!" Again, Spencer's rage went through the roof. Morgan pulled Reid back down onto his chair. "You have to calm down! You need to remain calm like I already told you. Otherwise, you can't help Josephine." Reid leaned back grumpy and crossed his arms. He didn't participate in the talk anymore. His eyes were focused on his sloppy timeline which he drew within a few seconds. It suddenly dawned on him! "The school.", Spencer mumbles. "What are you thinking, Reid?", Rossi wanted to know. But Reid didn't answer. Instead of answering Reid jumped to his feet and rushed off. "I know where the problem is centered!", he yelled and left the room.

"Reid, could you explain what we are doing here?" "When I had to go to High School I have been bullied by my class mates -what cliché! My bullies went from psychological bullying to physical actions! I believe that physical actions are the problem here. I am convinced that Josie has been wounded from one of her classmates. I know her daily routine! Today she went from school straight to my workplace. She hasn't been home. Instead, she walked into a FBI-bureau because she got send home from school when she needed help." Loaded with rage Reid pushes students away. "Hey, Mister! You can't pass.", a Teenager said and blocked Reid's way. "I am only going to tell you this one time, Little One, before I am using violence to get you out of my way! I am an FBI-agent and I want to speak to your principal.", Spencer growled. Unnoticed from the surrounding students Morgan and Rossi got more near to their coworker. Just as Reid they wanted to enter the principal's office, but they wouldn't let Reid ruin his life because he might beat up a minor. The scared boy stepped a side and Spencer stormed into the office. Reid didn't get a chance to talk! Luckily Hotch immediately starts the conversation. "SSA Hotchner! The agents Morgen, Jareau, Rossi, Prentis and Dr Reid.", the head of the team introduced them to one another. The principal pushed his chair back and shook Hotches Hand. "Brown." Then Mr Brown looked at Spencer. "Reid? As in Josephine Reid?" Spencer nodded with clenched jaw. "Exactly." "We are here because of Josephine!", Hotch butted in again. "She showed up wounded and we want to know why you haven't called the ambulance for her." "I didn't know she was hurt-", Principal Brown tried to defend himself. Reid's patience broke in that moment. "How could you not know that she was hurt?! She had a stab wound that was bleeding strongly and her arms are covered with bruises! I can assure you that Josephine hasn't had them yesterday!", Spencer screamed. He was speechless! "What my co-worker wants to say that it is hard to not see that wound, and we are interested in the reason why you have sent Josephine Reid home.", Derek barged in. He slowly pushed his outraged friend behind himself. "I had to suspend Ms Reid for today.", Mr Brown explained to the BAU. Spencer snorted snarky. "The Reason?", Rossi asked. "She has hurt several students." "NONSENSE!" "Morgan!" Derek understood Hotches nonverbal request and went with Reid outside. They left office at the perfect time. "When I get Reid between in my fingers again, I promise you she won't get off as lightly as today. I don't want to get a black eye again to cover up that we were the ones to stab her." Morgan and Reid surrounded the students. "Get in there!", Morgan commanded. His authority flair was intimidating for the teenagers, and they followed the order. "Hotch, these are our unsubs!", Morgan informed his boss. "He confessed when we entered the hallway. They tried to stab her to death and covered it up with a black eye." "You will hear from me again.", Hotch said to the principal. Then the group of students got arrested.

"Spencer, what are you doing here?" Sleppy Josie blinked at her brother. "I wanted to tell you that we have arrested them." "Who?" Spencer took his sister's hand. "The students who did this to you." Josie's eyes widened. She couldn't believe it! Was it really over? Is this the end of the pain? "Why didn't you tell me that you are being bullied? I could have gotten you into a different school." Josephine sighed. That was the question she has been afraid of. "I didn't want you to worry. And I have to confess that I don't know it differently. Back in Vegas it has been like this as well and I tried to befriend some people but it hasn't worked out at both schools. Anyways! How could someone like me tell a successful genius who works for the FBI and saves regularly the world and makes it better that you are a total looser?" Spencer smiles to himself. "You are laughing about me.", Josie noticed sad. "No! I don't laugh about you. I am just surprised about how similar we are. I have felt as well like a looser when they hit me and talked me down!" Josephine would have never guessed that. Her brother has been bullied?! "Josie, our strength lies within communication. Our strength lies within words! We have to talk to each other to help one another." Josie hugs her big brother tight. "Thank you for being there for me!" "Thank you for being with me."

#criminal minds #criminal minds fluff #fluff #cm fluff #dr spencer reid #oc #original character #spencer reid #derek morgan #thebau #BAU #fbi #imagine #criminal minds imagine #one shots #wattpad #spencer reid imagine #dr spencer reid imagine

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mackenzielovee · 3 years ago

Text

parenthood blurb: intert

a/n: the pic has nothing to do with the chapter , i just thought it was cute! happy sunday, besties. hope you enjoy <3

warnings: swearing, fighting, slight depictions of anxiety

ambivalence masterlist , parenthood masterlist

“That’s your sister? Shit.”

Connor shifts his jaw from side to side as he sits at his lunch table, clenching his fists in his lap as he watches one of his friends stare at Josie.

“Dibs,” Mason, one of Connor’s friends, calls out.

“You can’t call dibs, idiot,” Bennett, the original speaker, informs him, “The fresh meat is always fair game. ‘Til you tap it, anyway.”

“Oh, you know I will—”

“That’s enough,” Connor grunts, shoving the remainder of his lunch away from him.

Bennett laughs, grabbing the chip bag Connor had pushed away and stuffing the food into his mouth.

“She takes after your mom, huh?”

Connor narrows his eyes, blood boiling in his veins, “Don’t talk about my mom.”

“Dude, come on. You’re so boring. You could get with your little sister’s best friend over there. What’s her name? February? September?”

“April,” Connor corrects, “And, no. She has a boyfriend.”

“So?” Bennett laughs.

Mason chuckles, looking right at Bennett, “He’s still not over his latest rejection. Ellie’s just a bitch, okay?”

Connor’s eyes narrow, and although his patience is growing thin, he’s just glad they’ve stopped talking about Josie.

“She’s not a bitch,” Connor counters, “She just wasn’t interested in me.”

Bennett lets out a loud laugh, “Bro, she gave you the you’re a nice guy speech. Everyone knows they say that just to let you down easy. I’m sure she’s fucking some guy in the locker room right about now.”

Connor shakes his head, “She told me she wasn’t seeing anyone.”

This time, Mason and Bennett both laugh, leaving Connor to shrink back in his seat. Over the years, Connor has grown to hate his heart, especially in moments like these. Bennett and Mason are always so hellbent on lying to girls, but Connor has never felt comfortable doing so. Mason and Bennett know how to play all the games in high school; how to flirt, how to get with three different girls in one weekend, and most importantly, how to keep their emotions off somehow, so they don’t feel things the way Connor does.

“You guys think she was lying?” Connor asks timidly.

Mason grins, “The football team passes that girl around at parties like their own personal whore. Yeah, she lied.”

Connor winces at the word, and knowing it’s connected to someone as sweet as Ellie, he knows it can’t be true.

“I don’t buy it,” Connor announces, “And that’s not really a way to talk about a woman.”

Mason snorts, “Well, I’m not selling it. I’m telling you like it is.”

Mason goes quiet after that, which is the exact moment Bennett clears his throat and rises from the table. Connor’s eyes follow his movement, watching as Bennett smirks down at him.

“I’m gonna go see what Josie’s up to on Friday night,” Bennett announces, grinning when Connor’s jaw clenches, “Don’t worry, buddy. I’ll be a gentleman.”

“Leave her alone, Ben,” Connor warns.

Bennett laughs and shakes his head, “Aw, are you worried I’m gonna deflower your little sister? That’s if she hasn’t been already. I mean, Noah Smith follows her around like a little lovesick puppy. You think they’re fucking?”

Connor stands, “No. Sit back down and leave her alone.”

Bennett looks to Mason for an answer as to what he should do, to which Mason shrugs, then nods his head in Josie’s direction.

“Yeah, right,” Bennett scoffs at Connor, “I’ll tell her you say hello.”

“She’ll never fall for it, you know,” Connor calls after him, “She’s smarter than you by about a thousand times.”

Bennett turns back then, and the last thing Connor expects to see on his face is a wicked grin.

“I don’t have to be smart. She just has to show up to the party. The alcohol will do the rest.”

Before Mason can grab ahold of Connor, he’s out and around the table, hurrying out into the courtyard where Bennett is. He’s fuming; the last comment of Bennett’s bringing bad thoughts to Connor’s mind.

“I said, leave her alone,” Connor repeats.

Bennett laughs and stops in his tracks, lazily turning around to face him. Connor stutters in his stance, trying his best to look confident and intimidating enough for Bennett to listen.

“Or what, golden boy? You’re gonna stop me?” Bennett laughs again, “Look, think of it as a test. If your sister’s a whore, she’ll accept a senior’s offer to come to the party. If she takes after her brother, well, she won’t do anything exciting until she’s fifty.”

Connor’s jaw clenches, his chest filling with rage, “Don’t call her that.”

“What?” Bennett smirks, “A whore? You can’t even say it, can you? Cute, Cameron. God, let’s hope your sister’s a fuckin’ slut, otherwise—”

The only thing Connor can think of is Josie. All other logic seems to fly out the window as he hurries over to Bennett, and just as he drops his guard, Connor’s fist connects to his face.

Bennett stumbles just enough that Connor has a perfect view of Josie, standing beside Noah a few feet away. Her eyes go wide as she realizes what he’d just done, but before either of them can speak, Bennett charges at Connor.

Connor’s head and back smack against the concrete so hard that his ears start to ring, and he doesn’t even register the following few punches. All he can hear is Josie and Noah.

“Let go, Noah, I have to help him!”

“No, stay here, I’ll handle it.”

“I don’t need you to handle it, I can handle it.”

“Jo, you could get hurt—”

“I don’t care. Let go.”

Connor finally brings his arms up to protect his face as he regains some strength and sense as to what’s going on. Bennett stands up and kicks Connor right in his rib cage, leading him to cry out and clutch his stomach.

“Connor!” Josie shouts, “Get away from him, you dick!”

Bennett chuckles, stepping back as he wipes blood from his mouth, “He threw the first punch. I was acting in self defense.”

Connor’s eyes open just enough to see the angry expression on Josie’s face. Noah stands beside her, and for that, Connor is grateful.

“He may have thrown the first, but I’ll throw the last.”

Bennett has just enough time to smirk before Josie shoves the heel of her hand into his nose, leading to one loud crunch and a gush of blood from Bennett’s face.

“Holy shit,” Noah mutters.

“Fuck!” Bennett yells, “I think you just broke my fucking nose.”

“I’ll break something else, too, if you don’t get the hell away from us,” she retorts.

Bennett groans, muttering the word bitch under his breath as he hurries away. Josie sinks to her knees beside Connor, who is still mumbling out incoherent syllables to express his pain.

“Ouch,” he mutters.

Josie gives him a sad smile, “You okay? Anything broken?”

“Nope,” Connor replies weakly, “Just my ego. Only a little bit.”

She laughs, “You looked like a badass, though. Before he hit you back.”

Connor chuckles and lets Josie and Noah help him to his feet, hoping he doesn’t have any visible bruises his parents might see when he gets home. As the three turn around, ready to get Connor somewhere less visible, they come face to face with an administrator, and that’s when Connor swears.

“Shit.”

Connor Cameron is not an expert in disappointing his parents. In fact, he prides himself on the fact that he could count on one hand the number of times he actually has, and even then, it’s limited.

He and Josie are sitting in the corner of a guidance counselor’s office while Rafe discusses what will happen next with the principal. Connor’s lip finally stopped bleeding, and a bruise begins to form around his left eye, but nobody can see the pain in his chest from being kicked so hard. He’s anxiously shaking his leg up and down, praying Rafe isn’t too upset with him.

Josie, on the other hand, blows a bubble in her gum and pops it, earning a glare from every adult in the room.

“Sorry,” she mumbles, resuming her chewing.

Connor nudges her with his elbow, giving her a look to tell her to knock it off. She shrugs in response, and if Connor thought he was anxious before, the familiar knock on the door tells him differently.

You slip inside with worry plastered across every inch of your face. You spot Connor and Josie first, sitting beside each other. Rafe and the administrators stop talking when you enter, but you don’t care. You step right over to Connor and tip his chin up, observing his injuries.

“Are you okay, handsome?” you ask him, keeping your voice low.

“Yes, Mom, but can I just explain—”

“In a minute,” you promise, “Just relax. You’re getting yourself all worked up. Everything’s gonna be fine.”

Connor nods, “Okay.”

“Josie girl, you okay?” you ask.

She nods, “I’m good. Not hurt.”

You give her a smile, then turn to Rafe, who stands from his seat. He gives you a raise of the eyebrows and doesn’t sit until you do, grasping your hand in his tightly.

“The Maybanks want to press charges,” Principal Tucker tells you, “Bennett’s nose is broken.”

“Bullshit,” Rafe replies, “Their little punk son was saying awful things about my daughter. Connor was defending her.”

“Defending her with violence,” Tucker clarifies, “Mr. Cameron, I’m sure you’re well aware of the fact that you can’t punch someone just because they say something you don’t like.”

Rafe scoffs, “It’s more complicated than that and you know it. You’ve never had a disciplinary issue with my son before. He’s a good kid with a solid GPA and a bright future. I’m not letting some asshole with bad intentions ruin that for him.”

Throughout this conversation and your phone call with Rafe that led you here, you’d been able to piece together what happened. Just as you think you’ve got the events of this afternoon down, Principal Tucker sits back and purses his lips to hide a smile.

“Mr. Cameron, I think you’ve misunderstood me. The Maybanks aren’t pressing charges against Connor. They’re pressing charges against Josephine.”

Josie’s gum pops again, but this time, it’s an accident out of shock. Connor’s eyes widen as he looks over at his sister, surprise lining her face.

“Josie?” Rafe questions, clearly confused, “Why the hell would they press charges against my daughter?”

“Um,” Josie speaks quietly, raising her hand as if she has a question, “Dad, I kinda, uh, used the defensive move Uncle Topper taught me.”

You cover your mouth with your hand, picturing Josie standing up for her brother and breaking Bennett Maybank’s nose in the process. Rafe’s tongue pokes at his cheek, trying to prevent his own smile from forming.

“She broke his nose,” Tucker repeats.

“He was kicking the shit out of my brother,” Josie snaps back.

“Language, Jo,” Connor mumbles, elbowing her.

“All right,” Rafe draws the conversation back in, “What are we supposed to do? How do we de-escalate the situation?”

Tucker sighs, glancing at Josie, “Personally, I think it would go a long way if she apologized.”

“No,” Josie says immediately.

“Josie,” Connor hisses, “If that’s what will keep you out of trouble, you should do it.”

Rafe remains silent and so do you, knowing that look in Rafe’s eye and accepting the fact that he is prepared to handle the situation while you sit and worry about Connor’s eye.

“Mr. Cameron,” Tucker says, “I really think this would help.”

Without even blinking, Rafe settles his eyes on Josie and gives her a small nod, one that tells her everything she needs to know.

“I will support whatever my daughter decides is best for her. Although, Principal Tucker, I would like to state that she acted in defense of her brother, who was still being kicked even while he was down, after this boy made remarks about getting her drunk so he could—” Rafe’s voice hitches, and he clenches his jaw before he finishes, “Act inappropriately. Allowing that as an administrator could be pretty detrimental to the reputation of the school, don’t you think?”

Tucker leans forward, “Are you threatening me, Mr. Cameron?”

“Not at all,” Rafe replies, “I just think it's the Maybanks you should have in this office with you right now, not us. We’re taking our children home.”

Rafe stands and you follow suit, tucking your purse over your shoulder and following him toward the door. You wrap your arm around Connor and hold him close while Rafe takes Josie’s hand, leading her out.

The Maybank family sits tall outside Principal Tucker’s office; a bloody washcloth pressed against Bennett’s nose. Rafe clenches his jaw as he takes in JJ, wearing a dress shirt and running a hand through his short, neat hair. He’d married a girl with Kook money and moved to the Eight shortly after, where he underwent all of his changes. He’s a far cry from the drunk kid he once was.

“Rafe,” JJ greets him bluntly, standing up, “Anything anyone would like to say to each other?”

Principal Tucker stands at the threshold of his office, listening as the two families speak. Josie sucks in a deep breath and squeezes Rafe’s hand, then steals a glance at her brother.

He’s not tough. She knows this. But, right now, he looks scared. Not for himself, but for her. Personally, Josie could give a fuck less about Bennett Maybank, but she refuses to let Connor lose any sleep over this when he’s the one who jumped up to defend her in the first place.

Rafe’s eyes grow wide when Josie steps forward, releasing his hand and giving JJ a small smile before she turns to Bennett.

“I’m really sorry,” she says, surprising herself when it comes out sincere, “I didn’t mean to hurt you. If you want, I could tutor you in Chemistry to make it right. I’m kind of a science whiz, and my brother told me you’re failing.”

Josie wiggles her jaw to hide a smirk as Bennett’s mother gasps beside him.

“You’re failing?”

Bennett glares at her and Josie shrugs in response, giving him a tight-lipped smile.

“God,” JJ grunts, “I’m sorry, Josie. We won’t be pressing charges, given that our son clearly hasn’t been honest about much lately.”

Josie flashes him a charming smile, “Thank you, Mr. Maybank. I’m sorry for the trouble. You guys have a nice afternoon.”

Connor perks up beside you, and you cast a knowing glance to Rafe before you turn. Rafe gives JJ a head nod before grabbing Josie’s hand, leading her away from the office. Rafe carries her backpack as they walk to the parking lot, kissing her knuckles.

“Jo,” Rafe whispers, gaining her attention, “I love you, baby, but you’re not a science whiz.”

Josie grins, “I know that. The Maybank’s don’t.”

Rafe’s grin makes Josie laugh, and he shakes his head as he opens the car door for her to climb inside. Connor’s already seated, crossing his arms over his chest.

“I never told you Bennett was failing Chem,” he mumbles.

Josie sighs, “I know. Mason told me.”

Connor’s eyebrows furrow as he looks over at her, stealing a glance to their parents to ensure they aren’t listening.

“When did you talk to Mason?” he hisses.

“Last week when he dropped by to borrow your laptop. You really shouldn’t lend that out, by the way.”

“Josie,” Connor groans, “I don’t think you should be talking to those guys.”

Josie stares him dead in the eyes, “I don’t think you should, either.”

“Okay,” Rafe’s voice takes over the car as he closes his door, “While there’s nothing quite like the feeling of picking up both of our children from school for fighting, your mother and I both had to leave work for this. So, here’s what we’re going to do. We’re going to be quiet and reflect on the drive home, and when we get there, you both will take turns calmly explaining to us what happened. Sound good?”

Rafe glances up in the rearview mirror as both of them nod. His gaze holds Josie’s for an extra moment, giving her a small nod of reassurance that he isn’t angry. In return, he gets a smile.

You turn in your seat and reach for Connor’s hand, smiling when he gives it to you with no hesitation.

“Do you need anything on the way? We’ll ice your eye at home,” you say.

He shakes his head, “I’m fine, Mom.”

You squeeze his hand, then let go and turn around in your seat. Rafe takes your hand in his, bringing it up to his lips to kiss the same way he’d done with Josie earlier. He starts to drive, reveling in the quiet that overtakes the car. His eyes flicker back to Josie every now and then, checking on her and wondering what could possibly be going on in that head of hers. Rafe wonders how she got to be so strong, even in moments where she’s allowed to show weakness.

“No way! You must’ve hit him just right, Jo, that’s amazing. Show me again how you did it.”

Josie grins and makes the motion for Topper again, watching his eyes bulge as the heel of her palm comes up in the air.

“He was gushing blood,” she tells him, “And he deserved it, too.”

Topper laughs, “Yeah, sounds like it. I’m so proud of you.”

Josie smiles and looks over at Connor, who is shrinking down in his chair. Everyone is sitting around in the Cameron's backyard eating lunch and swimming. Connor, whose eye is still bruised and ribs are still sore, doesn’t like talking about it. He doesn’t want to relive it or explain —again — how he got his ass kicked by someone he called his friend.

Josie gives him an apologetic smile and sits down beside him, ignoring Topper as he looks over and starts to discuss the fight with Rafe.

“I’m sorry,” she mumbles to him, “I won’t talk about it anymore.”

Connor sighs, “It doesn’t matter, Jo. You saved the day. You deserve to bask in it a little bit.”

She opens her mouth to speak, to thank him for trying to save her, when Kelce’s voice sounds from the shallow end of the pool.

“Jo! Come over here and tell Aunt Mads what happened.”

She gives Connor a small, shallow smile, then stands up and walks toward them. She passes Noah on her way over, who gives her a smile of his own, which she returns. Noah sucks in a breath as her scent fills his nose, turning over his shoulder to watch her walk away. He plops himself down next to Connor at the table, observing the anti-social look in his eye.

“Hey, man,” Noah greets him, “How are you?”

Connor shrugs, “Can I ask you a question?”

“Yeah, of course.”

Noah glances over Connor’s shoulder and watches as Josie sits down at the edge of the pool with his parents, tucking her legs into the water and laughing with them. He smiles at the image, noticing the weird rhythm his heartbeats maintain as he stares.

“How stupid did I look? Honestly?”

Noah’s eyes move back over to Connor’s as he furrows his brow, “What? When?”

“When I punched Bennett,” Connor mumbles, “And wound up on the ground.”

Noah scoffs and runs a hand over his head, “Dude, you didn’t look stupid. You were defending your sister. I would’ve done the same if I heard that guy saying that shit about her.”

“You wouldn’t have ended up getting kicked repeatedly in the stomach, though,” Connor reasons.

“Could’ve,” Noah shrugs, “Look. Nobody here is thinking Connor’s stupid for getting laid out on the concrete. They’re thinking how honorable it is that you stepped up to defend your sister. And Josie, I mean, she’s beside herself.”

Connor looks up at him hesitantly, “She told you that?”

Noah chuckles and nods his head.

“Yeah. She looks up to you, she always has, and the fact that you defended her without thinking twice means a lot to her. And I’ll tell you something I’m sure you already know. That girl’s opinion is worth a lot more than any of ours.”

Connor nods slowly, and when he looks up again at Noah, he sees how Noah’s eyes drift back to Josie. He smiles just as Connor hears Josie’s laugh echo up to the deck, and that’s what drops suspicion into Connor’s brain.

“Noah,” Connor says gently, “You tried to pull her back. Why?”

Connor knows why. Connor approves of Noah’s actions. But now, with the way Noah’s looking at Josie, well, it’s a look Connor recognizes well. It’s the same look Connor’s father gives Connor’s mother when she’s sitting on the couch or looking at her phone.

“She could’ve gotten hurt,” Noah answers, his eyes not leaving Josie, “I should’ve known she’d be the one to kick all of their asses. I guess growing up surrounded by boys, she’s learned how to hold her own.”

Connor laughs and so does Noah right as Rafe yells that the burgers are done on the grill. With a handshake and a hug, the boys rise from the table and head down the deck, where they find Rafe pressing you up against the only cool part of the grill, kissing you repeatedly.

“Seriously?” Topper groans.

“You’d think after all this time, they’d cool it,” Kelce grunts.

“I think it’s sweet,” Maddie smiles at you, earning a grin back.

“Do you?” Kelce raises a brow, “C’mere, then. Move over, Cameron.”

You laugh as Kelce starts to kiss Maddie the same way Rafe was kissing you, and before you know it, all the kids are groaning and demanding this all comes to a halt. Topper grabs his burger and vacates the area immediately, while Josie, Connor and Noah wind up settling together by the pool.

You stand beside Rafe as everyone gets their food, resting your head on his shoulder as you stare at the three of them.

“You think the lecture was enough?” you ask him.

He debates for a moment, “I have no idea. I know we had to give it, but my heart just wasn’t in it. Connor defending her and Josie punching some douchebag who can’t keep it in his pants is fine with me.”

“Rafe, we can’t encourage that,” you remind him.

“I’m not encouraging it. But I’m not going to tell them they were wrong, either. JJ Maybank’s a prick, so I’m not surprised his son turned out—”

“Rafe,” you sigh, “Let’s let your issues with JJ go, okay?”

“No. He grabbed your ass.”

“I was sixteen.”

“And I punched the shit out of him,” he reminds you, “So, really, me telling the kids not to do the same is a little hypocritical, don’t you think?”

You sigh, playfully rolling your eyes at him. He grins and wraps his arms around you, leaning down for one more kiss.

“Sometimes, I wonder if we’re doing the right things,” you admit.

He nods in understanding, “Me too, sweetheart. But they seem okay, don’t they?”

You scoff, “Connor has a black eye.”

“From keeping his sister safe,” Rafe reasons, “And I bet you anything he’d do exactly what he did all over again.”

“Maybe,” you mumble, “I’m just—”

“Rafe, Y/N, stop making out and come eat,” Scott yells from the deck, waving the two of you over.

“Go,” Rafe demands softly, giving you one last kiss as he takes the paper plate from your hand, “I’ll make your burger. Get me a beer?”

You nod, rising on your tiptoes and stealing another kiss as he laughs against your mouth. You make your way up to the deck and grab a beer for Rafe, setting it at the empty spot beside you as you join the conversation. Quickly, you glance back at him, finding Josie making her way over to Rafe at the grill.

“Dad?”

Rafe turns and takes her in; faint smile, shiny eyes, freckles peaking out due to the sun. He gives her a wide grin.

“Hey, princess. Want me to fix up your plate for you? I made your veggie burger just the way you like it.”

“No, I’m okay,” she gives him a thankful smile, “I just wanted to make sure you weren’t, um, mad.”

Rafe furrows his eyebrows and turns all the way around, forgetting about her food.

“Why would I be mad?”

Josie shrugs, avoiding his eyes, “I hit someone. And everyone keeps telling me it’s understandable, and I know you told Principal Tucker that you respect my decision, but I just wanted to make sure we’re okay. You and me, I mean.”

Rafe nods, knowing she’s right. The day the fight happened, the conversation had primarily been about Connor and why he started the entire thing. Josie’s part had been covered slightly, but not much considering she’d been defending her brother. Since then, it hadn’t been mentioned much in the house. Connor wants to forget about it, and everyone inside their home respects that. Today, though, filling everyone in, seems to bring it all back up.

“Look at me,” Rafe says to her, watching as she hesitantly looks up at him, “You and me? We’ll always be okay. Baby, you were defending your brother. And, honestly, yourself. I’m proud of you. I’m proud of how strong you are. But I want you to understand something, too, are you listening?”

Josie swallows, “Yes.”

“You don’t have to be strong like that if you don’t want to be. If you’re upset about what happened, you come to me. I’m not going to judge you.”

Rafe watches as she nods slowly, the look in her eyes telling him just how much that means to her.

“Thanks, Dad,” she mumbles.

He gives her a smile, watching as the corners of her lips tip up, “I love you so much, princess. C’mere.”

Josie collapses into his arms, squeezing him as tight as he squeezes her.

“I love you, too,” she whispers to him.

“I’m glad to hear that,” Rafe chuckles, “Now, come on. Let's get you some lunch.”

Rafe makes up Josie’s burger, then yours, then his own, and travels up the deck with the two plates in his hand. He settles in beside you, leaning over to give you a kiss on the cheek once he’s seated.

“Need anything?” he asks you.

You shake your head, eyeing the plate he’d made so perfectly.

“I’m good,” you smile, “Is she?”

Rafe gives you a shy smile, because of course you’d been watching, he thinks.

“Yeah, she’s good. She loves me.”

You laugh and so does he, settling his arm along the back of your chair.

“I love you,” you remind him.

He grins, “I love you, too.”

Scott leans over, narrowing his eyes at the two of you.

“I love you, three. Now, eat your food and join the conversation. We've been trying to get your attention since your shirtless husband came up here.”

You laugh and look down at the table, mumbling out an apology before Sarah starts to explain what you’ve missed. Rafe listens for a moment, but can’t help his eyes fall down the deck and to the pool, where his greatest love sits with her legs dangling in the water. He smiles as he watches her laugh at something Noah Smith told her, and with a small clench of his jaw at the recognition of the expression on Noah’s face, he turns back to his food to distract himself.

Tags:

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handonhaven · 4 years ago

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I feel like this whole maliLandon thing is going to lead to a lot of conflict between Hope and the super squad. And that it will lead to them dividing between sides. I think that is one of things that this season has been leading up to between Hope and her friends. Becaue, Hope has constantly been sacrificing her happiness for the greater good, she spent this whole season listening to her friends when it came to Landon instead of trusting her gut instincts, she could have saved him and had the real him back alot sooner if she had just done what she wanted instead of what was deemed "right" and "logical". Not to mention the way the super squad treats Hope and Landon these past three seasons. I mean they're always so willing to sacrifice Landon like it's nothing. And they just use Hope however they see fit, not really caring about how she might feel or what she might need(I know that is an unpopular opinion for so reason). And the fact this has been on going since season 1 drives me a bit crazy. They're just terrible "friends" and when it comes to Landon(especially this season) it really drives home what Clarke said to him back in season 1. "No matter what anyone at that school tells you, you'll never be one of them." And body other than Hope and I guess Wade has treat him like he was one of them. Like he did belong at that school. And they've always treated Hope like a weapon since the monster started to show up. I would go on and give certain times but I feel like it would make this way longer than it needs to be. But anyways back to my point I think this maliLandon thing will lead to some conflict between Hope and the super squad. Because I feel like have of them(maybe more than half) will that Landon is gone or dead. While Hope will say that he's still alive in there. And she would want to do anything to get not only Landon back but Cleo as well. And if I'm right and that does lead to a conflict between Hope and the super squad or cause them to divide and take sides. Then I hope it lasts longer than an episode or two. Because I feel like something like that really needs to happen. Hope(and Landon when they get him back) tells them how she's been feeling all this time with how they treat her and make her feel. And they say their peace. Both sides will be mad at the other for while and then by the end of they make up with them realizing they have to be better friends to Hope and Landon. But like I said if something like that does happen I want it to last way longer than an episode or two. Because I just feel like that is something they've been leading up to and it would make for a good storyline. Thoughts?

Oh crap, I hadn’t thought of this, but I totally agree with all you said. This could end up being a repeat of what happened in 3x08. And it’s even worse this time! Because last time, Malivore getting out was just a risk, and that made none of them want to help Hope save Landon. But now Malivore is literally right in front of them, so what are they gonna do now if they believe that Landon is gone and think the only way to get rid of Malivore will end up hurting Landon or killing him? Great... I could hardly stand seeing none of them care about Landon after they thought he died, and again when they didn’t care if he died in the prison world, I don’t think I can take seeing it again but there’s probably a good chance we will.

You’re absolutely right. Hope has sacrificed her happiness for everyone else so much in the past, and that did lead to a lot of what’s happened this season. I agree, like in 3x05 when she felt like she had to stop looking for Landon and accept that he was dead for everyone else’s sake, if she had kept looking she may have gotten him back sooner. If everyone had been more willing to help her, they might’ve been able to find a way to get Landon back before, without him getting possessed by Malivore. But I think once Hope knew there was a chance to get Landon back in 3x07, she totally changed and wasn’t gonna give up. She was fighting for Landon and her happiness with him no matter what. So I was really glad that she changed in that way and was like that throughout the season, I think that’s been very important for her character. But I do wonder if what’s happened with her and her friends in the past and how that’s affected her and Landon is gonna be an issue now with what’s going on. And yes! Exactly, they’ve all been willing to sacrifice Landon, not caring about him or how their actions would affect Hope. Using Hope when they need her, at the expense of her own well-being... yeah, true, it’s an unpopular opinion. I think because some of those characters, like the twins, are fan favorites, so people don’t wanna acknowledge this stuff I guess? Idk, but yes, it’s been going on for a while and got really bad this season. And I feel the same way, honestly, particularly with Landon and how little they care about him just hurts. And especially when you consider Landon’s background and how he’s not been cared for his entire life. But now he has Hope, who cares about him more than anyone else does, she’s really the only one left who cares about him. But then the people around her have encouraged her to not care about him so much like?? That’s terrible and heartbreaking, and Landon deserves someone who cares about him and is willing to fight for him no matter what the way Hope does (especially now that Raf is gone, the only other person who cared). But ugh, that Clarke quote. That is so sad now looking back at that and how things have been. So true, Hope has really been the only one to treat him like he was one of them. The others have briefly, maybe in season 1 and the beginning of season 2. Josie treated him pretty well at the beginning of season 2 when they became friends. But that friendship is basically nonexistent now, because she’s not shown she cares about him with all that’s happened this season. And even Wade hasn’t seemed to care much. Like, he’s been his friend but it’s kinda felt like he just wants someone to play D&D with. He didn’t act at all sad when he thought he died, but quickly found that one new girl to play D&D with in 3x06 (can’t remember her name, she disappeared after that). So... yeah, idk. It’s all quite weird, and very sad how everyone has treated him and Hope and how they’ve used them, especially Hope, for their own benefit without really caring. Like, I understand they need Hope a lot because she’s the one who’s able to help them, but they just don’t act like they care if it affects her, and don’t seem that grateful either.

True, this whole thing with Malilandon could lead to conflict with them. Although, they did have 3x14 and 3x15 with Hope and the twins as an attempt to bring them closer. And I thought that’s what was supposed to happen with them, but that could’ve just been another case of them telling and not showing. They’ll often have these conversations with characters that end up meaning nothing. Which also reminds me of another thing that I find so sad now, which was in 2x08 when Lizzie told Landon to come back to the school and face Hope and Josie, “they will help you face whatever comes next. We all will.” Okay... when? When did any of them, besides Hope, help Landon face anything after that? Lizzie said that but then did nothing to follow through. She did nothing to help him with all that he’s faced this season, so I can’t imagine it happening now. And it could be the same thing with Josie and Lizzie telling Hope she wouldn’t be facing Malivore alone. All it took last episode was Hope driving away for them to give up and not go after her to help her. So unless they seriously change and decide to help her save Landon this time, this could be bad.

You make very good points. Especially if it’s hard to get Landon back, and if it starts to seem too risky and less likely that they’ll get him back, I can also see that causing them to divide. Because we know Hope isn’t gonna give up. All that she did to fight for Landon in 3x08 and everything else she’s done she said she would do all over again if she had to. So I’m sure we’re gonna see that happen again to some extent, and if that does cause problems and some kind of divide, yes, I also think it should last longer so that it’s actually addressed in the right way. It’d be great if they let Hope and/or Landon say something about how they’ve been treated, but I doubt they will tbh. For whatever reason, the writers ignore the way the other characters have treated them, it’s never talked about. So I don’t really have any hope that it’s gonna be acknowledged, though I’d love if it was. And I think having conflict would be a good way to bring it up if the writers let Hope say something about it. And I agree, it would have to last longer but could make for a good storyline if it was a way to finally talk about everything and fix how they’ve been treating Hope and Landon. I’m so ready for Hope and Landon to have good friendships. I think there is a chance that the writers could hopefully have the others side with Hope this time since they were trying to bring Hope and the twins closer. Who knows, maybe they’ll suddenly have everyone deciding to support and help Hope and Landon this time... which would be surprising tbh, based off of how they’ve been before. But I’m very curious now to see how that’s all gonna work out.

#answered #s4 #handon #hope mikaelson #landon kirby #malilandon

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cursedbcrn · 3 years ago

Text

@lightcarries // continued from xx

arms are crossed and her stance is immovable . this is the same little girl with red hair and light freckles that entered the school shyly , with blue eyes sadder than any seven year old's ought to be . the smile caroline had then was warm , genuine , comforting and welcoming as she helped hayley and the girl make hope's transition smoother . caroline remembers how hayley fretted and how former rivals bonded out of motherhood--maybe the twins aren't her biological children , but she is their mother and that doesn't diminish the love and instinct she has to protect them--and worry for their girls in a world that would eat them for breakfast . and , oh , did the world eat hope mikaelson .

the blank and careless stare that reminds caroline of her own stint without her humanity tells her so . behind callousness and cruelty and claiming that it is better being heartless , caroline knows better . caroline knows it isn't . it's just running away . but she had a choice ; from what she's heard from the others , hope did not .

" i wish i could tell you that i don't . " caroline shrugs . a distance is between the two , and she stands ever so proud and doing her best to appear stoic when there's a part of her heart breaking . she loved klaus . she grew to love hayley as a friend . and hope , oh , she is the very best of both of them just like her girls are the very best of her . " i turned mine off when my mom died . couldn't handle the burden . didn't want to . lost my parents--even if i kinda lost my dad when he left--, " a shrug as she moves cautiously forward to hope , but not so much there's still not a wide berth between the two . " --so there's that . and everyone else got to run away from grief and pain so , you know , i thought--why the hell not ? "

" and the bodies that followed ? i still keep the crime photos near me . as a reminder . " she finishes . she hasn't even told lizzie and josie she turned off her humanity . certainly none of the other students know . still , she thinks hope ought to know . " because evading your grief doesn't make it go away . it sucks , it really does , but once it all comes back--that sucks the most . "

Of course Caroline Forbes would have also gone through this before. Her entire life has been spent trying to avoid Caroline as much as she could, considering the woman was the Headmistress of her school. There was too much awkwardness, too much buried pain from knowing how close her father and Caroline had once been, regardless of whether or not they still were. It was a relationship that Hope had desperately wanted as a child, and she remembers being distinctly jealous of not only the twins, for having a seemingly semi-stable childhood, but also of Caroline, for knowing Klaus better than Hope had.

That jealousy now fades into an almost indiscernible buzz at the back of her mind, hardly caring at all that this woman had gotten to know her father before he died. What does it matter anymore? He’s dead. And with that, Hope shuts away the last fleeting thought about it away into the deep recesses of her mind.

“The difference,” she interrupts Caroline’s monologue with a bored drawl. “Is that I’m a Mikaelson. You think any of my family keeps crime scene photos around to do anything other than reminisce about interesting kills,” she scoffs derisively. “Anyways, every horrible thing they ever did was without flipping the switch,” she points out with a nonchalant grin. “Aren’t you a tiny bit afraid of what I’m capable of without it?”

#[ ic. ]#[ v; canon / s4. ]#lightcarries #[ caroline forbes / lightcarries. ]

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hopelikethemoon · 5 years ago

Text

Numb (Javier x Reader) {MTMF}

Title: Numb Rating: PG-13 Length: 3700 Warnings: Angst (misunderstandings, poor communication, postpartum depression) Notes: You can find the Maybe Today, Maybe Forever Timeline here. Set in September 1997. I PROMISE YOU THAT EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OKAY. Summary: Three months after their daughter’s birth, Reader and Javier struggle with their relationship.

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“How are you doing?” Javier questioned, curling his fingers around the back of your chair as he leaned down to press a kiss to the top of your head.

“We’re doing good.” You told him, readjusting Sofía in your arms. “Connie lured Tracy into the kitchen to work on some sort of deeply alarming salad with peas and cheddar cheese.”

“What?” Javier sank down into the lawn chair beside you, resting his elbows on his knees as he tilted his head to look at you. “Did I hear you right?”

You snorted, grinning at him. “Hearing going too, old man?”

“Ouch.” He rubbed at the back of his neck. “No, I’m just wondering who the fuck thought those things go together?”

“White suburbia.” You held your hand out and he pulled his sunglasses off his shirt and passed them to you. “But it’s keeping Tracy occupied.” You pushed the aviators up the bridge of your nose. “I’m not looking a gift horse in the mouth.”

Sofía started fussing and you tried to readjust her in your arms. She was fussier than Josie had ever been.

“Do you want me to take her?” Javier questioned.

Some irrational part of your brain wanted to snap at him for thinking you weren’t capable of calming your own daughter down — but you knew that wasn’t what he was saying. At all.

“I’m good.” You assured him, cradling the back of her head as you nestled her against your chest. “I’ve got you, sunshine.” You whispered, trying to lull her back to sleep.

The comparison to Josie wasn’t necessarily fair either. Josie hadn’t really gotten a taste for socializing until she was in Miami. There were no barbecues or overly friendly strangers in Colombia. You couldn’t blame the baby for being overwhelmed. You were too, if you were being honest. Surrounded by people and yet you still felt isolated.

Javier scooted his lawn chair closer to you, his knee brushing against yours. “Hey, I’m going to go check on Josie. You sure you’re good, baby?”

You nodded your head stiffly, keeping your gaze low. “I’m fine.”

He didn’t seem convinced. Javier reached out and touched your cheek gently, nudging your chin up so you had to look at him. “If you want to go home…”

“Go harangue Steve about Stevie.” You retorted, shifting back in your chair to escape his touch. You didn’t need to be comforted. There was no reason to be comforted.

Javier frowned, “Baby…”

“I’m fine. I promise.” You gritted out. He didn’t need to worry about you. You could handle your own three-month-old. Couldn’t you?

Javier squeezed your knee three times before he rose to his feet. He lingered beside you, like he had more to say. But instead of saying it, he retreated to find Josie.

And Steve.

You just knew the two of them were probably comparing notes on being with women who suddenly changed. Even you wanted an answer about why your brain was constantly at odds with itself. Ever since Sofía had been born, you just… felt like a failure.

Even at work everything felt like it had lost its shine.

Frankly, it sucked.

Nothing felt right. You had really believed that going back to work would help you feel normal again. But maybe this was your new normal. And that was a bleak thought. You had brought it up with your pediatrician when you took Sofía for her check-ups, but they hadn’t seemed overly concerned. Apparently it was normal to feel like this. Hormones and all of that shit, but… it hadn’t been like this with Josie. You remembered being happy, despite the situation.

You didn’t remember feeling like there was a weight crushing you in the middle of the night.

There was nothing you hated more than feeling helpless.

You lifted your head, eyes scanning the Murphy’s backyard. You recognized most of the guests — friends of Connie’s from the hospital, a few parents from the girls’ daycare, a couple people you recognized from Steve’s circle at work.

You spotted Tracy milling around at the far end of the yard with Jeff, which meant the kitchen was safe. You looked towards the porch, relieved to see that Connie was alone as she headed back into the house.

“Change of scenery, sunshine.” You told Sofía as you started across the yard into the house. “How’d the salad go?”

Connie gave you a droll expression, “I think it may be the Frankenstein of salads.” She nodded towards the refrigerator. “It’s chilling if you want to steal a bite.”

You made a face, “I’d rather not.”

“And Tracy wasn’t so terrible.”

“Really?” You gave her a skeptical look. “The first words out of her mouth were ‘I expected you to have lost your baby weight already’.”

She grimaced, “She’s blunt.”

“A bitch, you mean.” You corrected and Connie laughed.

“You’re not wrong.” She wiped her hands off with a dish towel and gestured to Sofía, “Can I hold her?”

You tensed. She had finally settled down, but at the same time… “Sure.”

Connie carefully took her from you, sweet talking Sofía as she roused from her nap. She was so good with babies. A natural. And that made you feel guilty for being so despondent about Sofía. You knew that Connie would do anything to be able to hold her own baby in her arms and you couldn’t muster the same enthusiasm.

“Hey. Are you okay?” Connie asked, her brows drawn together as she looked at you.

“I—” You swallowed thickly, shoulders sinking. “I wish I knew.”

She glanced around the kitchen for a moment, before she looked back at you. “I think everything is almost ready for dinner, let’s go sit in the family room and talk.”

You wanted to protest. You didn’t need to talk. Everything was fine.

But it wasn’t.

So you followed Connie into the family room. You sat down in the middle of the sofa, watching her as she sat down in the armchair with Sofía cradled in her arms. You chewed on your bottom lip, lowering your gaze to your hands as you wrung them in your lap. “I just wish I knew what was wrong with me.”

Connie frowned, “You went through a traumatic experience. No one can blame you for taking awhile to get back to normal.”

“Yeah.” You raked your fingers through your hair as you sank back against the sofa. “I don’t feel like myself anymore. Honestly, I feel like I’ve been replaced by a pod person.” You laughed humorlessly, shaking your head.

“How are things between you and Javier?” Connie questioned.

“I’m surprised Steve hasn’t told you everything.”

“Steve hasn’t been able to get a straight answer out of Javier.”

“Oh.” You worried at your bottom lip. A part of you had hoped that Javier was talking to Steve — at least then he wouldn’t feel isolated the way he had been after Josie’s birth. But he kept things as close to the chest as you did. “We’re fine. I mean…” You shook your head slowly. “Things have been a little tense.”

Connie smiled sympathetically, “I noticed. Has something changed…?”

You were quick to look up then. Just the thought made your heart clench in your chest. “No, nothing has changed. Things have just been tense because of everything that happened with her birth.” You swallowed a lump of emotion that had formed in the back of your throat. “He feels responsible for everything that happened, which is ridiculous, but… I told him he had to stop with this guilt thing and now he’s…” You looked away then. “We’re both just bottling things up.”

“So you haven’t been communicating?”

You shook your head slowly. “I barely know how I feel from one minute to the next.”

“Have you talked to your doctor?” She questioned, giving you a sympathetic look.

“About why Javier and I aren’t actually talking? No.”

She arched a brow at you, “You know what I’m talking about.”

“I mentioned it to the pediatrician. He didn’t seem to think anything of it.” You cleaned off the aviators with the edge of your shirt. “It’s just hormones.”

“Sweetheart,” Connie said with a serious look, her lips drawn into a thin line as she held your gaze. “You’re depressed.”

“What? No.” You shook your head.

“Have you ever heard of postpartum depression? It’s common. Ashley — she’s one of the nurses on my floor — she really suffered after her son was born. A couple months on an antidepressant and counseling and she eventually bounced back.”

You stared at her.

“Why would I have depression?” You questioned, a sharp edge to your voice. “Okay, sure… I almost died, but I have no reason to be upset. I have two healthy little girls, a supportive partner who I love and—”

“You don’t need a reason.” Connie urged. “And it’s no one’s fault.”

“That is the problem.” You leaned forward, resting your elbows against your knees. You dragged your hands over your face, sighing heavily. “There’s no one to blame. All of this… all of this pain doesn’t have a reason. Javier blames himself and I blame—” You stared at the floor. “It could happen to anyone.”

“Which is why there’s no shame in getting help.” Connie smiled at you. “I could recommend a doctor at the hospital. Maybe you could both see a therapist.”

“I guess.” You shrugged. As much as you hated admiring defeat, you had both gone through a lot that… maybe a professional could help you both get through it.

“It’ll help.”

“Yeah.” You pushed your fingers through your hair, sitting back. “I’m going to get her carrier out of the car. Do you mind?”

“Not at all. You know I’ll never say no to baby time.”

You smiled a little, moving to get off the sofa. Depression. That was such a heavy thing to consider. You wanted to throttle the doctor who had just brushed it off. It made sense. Unfortunately.

And the last thing you wanted was for this to force a wedge between you and Javier. It was bad enough as it was, with him blaming himself for everything that went wrong in your life.

You grabbed your keys out of your jacket pocket, unlocking the back door so you could grab the carrier out. It would make eating easier and she could nap far more comfortably than she would in your arms.

“Holy shit.”

You tensed. ‘Holy shit’ indeed. You recognized that voice. Months of torment had been delivered by that voice.

You turned slowly, “What the fuck are you doing here Fiestle?”

Chris laughed harshly, “Of all the fucking parties to be invited to…” His eyes flickered to the carrier in your hand. “What? Did you trap another unsuspecting agent with an unwanted pregnancy?”

Nope. You weren’t going to cry.

You had never cried because of this asshole.

Shit, your eyes were actually burning.

“Fuck you.” You snarled, “I don’t know who the fuck invited you, but you’re not welcome here. In fact, you’re not welcome in Florida. Period.”

“I’m shaking in my boots.” He laughed, giving you a condescending smile.

“The only reason this carrier isn’t currently bashing your skull in is because they’re expensive.” You shot back, fingers clenching tightly around the handle. “So consider yourself spared, asshole.”

Who the fuck had invited him?

“Are we done here? I smell burgers.” He nodded his head towards the house, starting up the driveway. “Don’t you have some baby to feed or something?”

“Oh, fuck you.”

“Your comebacks are lackluster, sweetcheeks. No attack dog anymore?” Chris folded his arms across his chest and gave you a pitying look. “Did Javier finally realize that the ole ball and chain wasn’t for him?” He questioned. “I’m glad he got free of you.”

You caught movement out of the corner of your eye, turning your head to look towards the front door as Javier appeared in it with Steve right behind him. “Speak of the devil.” You remarked, looking back at Chris then. “Has anyone ever told you to really shut the fuck up? You’ve kissed so much ass in your lifetime, it’s no wonder you talk out of yours.”

“What the fuck is going on out here?” Javier questioned, arms folded across his chest as he walked through the lawn to you.

“Someone apparently invited this asshole.” You said dryly, glaring at Steve. “Did you?”

“I had no idea that either of you knew him. He is in town working on an assignment and I thought it would be nice to invite him over.” He explained, looking at Fiestle then. “I think you should leave.”

“Really?” Chris huffed. “You’re going to make me leave because some bitch can’t deal with the ugly truth?”

Javier moved swiftly, grabbing Chris by the front of his shirt and pushing him back against the side of the Jeep. “You’re going to watch your fucking mouth if you have any intention of using it again.” He snapped. “We don’t work together anymore, so I don’t have anything to risk.”

“I used to have a lot of respect for you Peña.” Chris tried to pry Javier’s hand off his shirt. “You took down Escobar… Had all this clout. You really threw all of that away to play house with her?”

Javier shoved him back against the car again, pinning his forearm against the base of his throat. “Shut the fuck up, Fiestle. You’re a fucking worm. If you say another word about her or my daughters… if you so much as think about them, you’re going to be drinking soup for the rest of your goddamn life.”

He released Chris and took a step back. “Run along.” Javier turned back to look at you, brows drawn together. There was still so much uncertainty between the two of you, but you knew for certain that he would do anything for you.

“You know what? Fuck you Peña. Fuck you and your little pretend family.”

Javier rocked his jaw, his tongue tracing the edge of his teeth. You gave a slight nod of your head, watching as he wheeled around and slammed his clenched fist into Chris’ face. He howled in pain, clutching at his freshly bleeding nose.

“I told you to keep my family out of your fucking mouth.”

“You broke my nose!” Chris swore furiously. “I’m going to call the cops.”

Steve crossed his arms across his chest, looking towards you and Javier. “I didn’t see anything. Even if I did, I asked you to leave and you refused.”

“And guess what Chris?” You grinned. “I’m the one with friends in high places now. I work for the police department. So, go ahead… call them.

“Fuck you!” He snarled before he hauled ass back towards his own car.

“I am so sorry.” Steve said, turning towards you. “I had no idea you had bad blood with that asshole. I didn’t even think when he mentioned Colombia that—”

“We don’t talk about him.” You reassured him, your gaze flickering towards Javier then. “Steve could you take the carrier in for Connie? We’ll be in in a minute.” You passed it towards him.

“Sure thing. Take your time.” Steve offered, giving Javier a pat on the shoulder before he headed back into the house.

“Let me see.” You whispered, reaching for Javier’s hand. You cradled it in your hands, rubbing your thumb over his knuckles. “At least you know how to throw a punch.”

“I wanted to fucking bash his head into the car.”

You laughed, an actual smile spreading over your lips then. “I threatened to bash his head in with the baby carrier. But he’s not worth wasting the money on.”

He grinned back at you, curling his fingers around yours. “That’s my girl.”

“Let’s take a drive around the neighborhood. I want to talk.” You suggested, squeezing his hand tightly as his expression fell. “It’s good, I promise.”

“Yeah?” He arched a skeptical brow.

You rolled your eyes, laughing quietly. “It’s a long overdue conversation, Javi.” You took a step closer to him, tilting your head as you looked up at him. “Terrible timing, I know.” The worry in Javier’s eyes made your heart ache. You curled your fingers around the back of his neck and leaned up to kiss him. “I promise you it’s good.”

“You’ve been so distant…” His Adam’s apple bobbed in his throat, his expression faltering. “I don’t want to lose you, baby.”

“You’re not.” You shook your head, brushing your nose against his before you pulled back. “Let’s drive, okay?”

He nodded, pulling the keys out of his pocket as he walked towards the Jeep. You made your way around to the passenger side, sliding into your seat. Despite your reassurance that the conversation you wanted to have was a good one, you could tell that Javier wasn’t convinced. He wasn’t always as obvious as you were about where your head was, but you knew him well enough to read the worries etched into his face.

“You are making me nervous.” You told him with a faint smile, reaching across to rest your hand on his leg as he drove.

“Well you’ve got me fucking terrified.” Javier admitted. “I feel like I’ve been walking on eggshells for the past three months. You tell me you can’t keep doing this and then you just…”

“When did I say that?” Your brows furrowed together as you stared at him.

Javier took a hand off the steering wheel, pushing it through his hair. “The night we came home.”

Your mouth went dry. “I didn’t mean us. That is the last thing I will ever mean, Javier. That’s not what I meant.”

“What did you mean?” He questioned quietly.

“I meant the guilt…” You pressed the heels of your palms against your eyes and let out a frustrated sound. “You really thought I meant us, Javi?”

“Yeah.”

You leaned your arm against the window, staring out it for a long, quiet, moment. “Is that why everything has been so weird between us?” You tilted your head to look at him as he nodded. “I’m sorry, that wasn’t what I meant… Holy shit.”

“I thought it was just a matter of time.” Javier dragged his teeth over his bottom lip. “And you’ve been so up in your head. Hell, I think that Chris shit is the first time I’ve seen you really smile since she was born.”

You blinked back tears, wiping at them furiously as they slid down your cheeks. “It’s just all been too much, Javier. I barely know how I feel most days. But I do know that I love you and the girls. That’s not something I ever doubt.”

Javier pulled the car over to the curb, putting it into park. “What is wrong?” He questioned, turning in his seat to face you. “You haven’t been yourself.”

“I wish I knew.” A bubble of laughter escaped you. “Honestly, I feel like I’m losing my mind most days.” You admitted. “I feel like everyone is judging me. Including Sofía.”

“No one is judging you, baby.” Javier promised you, reaching you to brush his knuckles against your cheek, wiping a tear away.

“Connie thinks I should see a therapist.” You told him quietly. “She’s not wrong. I guess it’s not uncommon for women to face these issues after childbirth and… I did almost die.”

Javier nodded slowly. “Yeah. You did.”

“I think we should both go.” You curled your fingers around his hand and brought it to your lips, kissing each knuckle. They were already bruising from punching Chris. “There’s so much we’ve been through that I don’t think either of us has considered unpacking.”

“It’s not a bad idea.” He clicked his tongue against his teeth. “It would be nice to get back to where we were… before.”

You nodded. “And I know I haven’t really brought it up, but I still want to go after the DEA.” He didn’t interrupt you. “I want to make a change.”

“Whatever you want.” Javier told you, leaning across the center console to press a kiss to your lips.

“And whatever you want.”

“I just want you and the girls to be happy.” He admitted. “I just spent three months waiting for the other fucking shoe to fall.” Javier sighed heavily. “Jesus-fucking-Christ.”

“I’m so sorry.” You leaned your forehead against his, cupping his cheek. “I was so tired and your guilt was starting to eat at me.” You brushed your nose against his. “I promise I’ll make it up to you.”

“I want you to get better. That’ll be reward enough.”

“I want to get better too.” You agreed. “I want to… feel again. I feel so numb all the time and I hate it.” You brushed your fingers through his hair, tilting your head to kiss him again. “I’m sorry, Javi. I wish you had said something…”

Javier shook his head. “Don’t apologize, baby. I’m just glad I was wrong. So fucking glad.”

“Hey, Javi.”

“Hmm?” His brows furrowed.

“You finally got to punch Chris in the face.”

He laughed, “Of all the fucking people in the world for Steve to invite.”

“Seriously.” You sat back with a grin. “You really broke his nose.”

Javier flexed his hand, “Yeah, this is gonna hurt tomorrow.”

“We’ll soak it in cold epsom water when we get home.” You stroked your thumb over his knuckles. It felt like a weight had been lifted off your shoulders to finally admit that something was wrong. “It might be pushing it, but…” You lifted your gaze to meet his. “It’s still really hot when you threaten people for me.”

Javier snorted. “Really?”

“I’m not saying anything definitively, but I think the inspiration might remain until this evening.” You chewed on the inside of your bottom lip as you searched his face. “It might be nice to try…”

“I’ll follow your lead on that, baby.”

Maybe things would finally get back to normal. It was a start at least. A start to reclaiming the person you felt like you’d been losing. You missed the way things used to be before everything came crashing down around you.

#javier pena #javier pena x reader #pedro pascal x reader

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