#josh literally deserves everything and more

[tylerssblurry]

the gays love josh dun.

am i right tumblr?

[sourholland]

based off of taylor swift’s song style

a/n → well i bet some people didn’t expect this story to be updated again, however here i am and here it is. this is chapter 4. what mostly inspired me to try and finish this series is the continuous love i have received through it. there were a lot of people who told me how much they enjoy it and who am i to deny them. however i know that it’s been a year since i’ve updated this so if you want off of the taglist because of disinterest, please let me know!!! same goes for wanting to be on the taglist, just lmk 🩵

summary → he’s the quarterback of the cincinnati bengals, a worldwide heartthrob with an ego the size of lake erie—but does he have the heart to match it? you’re the bengals newest cheerleader, desperate to prove how much you deserve your spot on the team. it doesn’t take much to catch the eye of joe burrow, however that isn’t necessarily a good thing when you’re told that any romantic relations between cheerleaders and players is strictly prohibited.

warnings → strong language, nsfw content

word count → 3.4k

reblog and leave some comments if you enjoy!!!

SERIES MASTERLIST

Chapter 4

“He’s fucking obsessed with you,” Sydney reasoned with you, listening to you finally debrief everything that had gone on between you and Joe over the last few weeks. “If you seriously start with all of this self-sabotage bullshit, I’m gonna kill you.”

Lena sat criss cross on the floor, silent and turning over the information you had given her carefully. Sydney was sitting on the couch beside you, knees pulled up to her chest as she spooned more ice cream into her mouth. It had been days since you slept over at Joe’s and besides a few text conversations and fleeting glances at the stadium, nothing more had happened between the two of you.

“She’s right,” Lena finally chimed in, her mass of curls held up in a claw clip she’d stolen from you during freshman year. “He’s obsessed.”

With a roll of your eyes, you turned over dramatically and buried your face into the throw pillow on your couch and screamed into it. If he was so obsessed, why hadn’t he called? Maybe because you completely overreacted after seeing one text on his phone like a psycho bitch, you thought to yourself begrudgingly. He probably thought you were crazy and territorial over guys you weren’t even with.

“I think I ruined it when I left the bar,” you sighed, considering screaming into the pillow again like a child.

“Oh my god, shut up. Men are so simple and literally do not care about stuff like that, I’m telling you. If he told you he let it go, he let it go. There’s no reason to overthink it,” Sydney assured you with a half-full mouth of chocolate ice cream. “Do you remember when I was fucking with Josh sophomore year and found out he was still hooking up with that one girl on the lacrosse team? Lily or whatever the fuck her name was–whatever, not the point–but do you remember when I deadass asked the front desk of our dorm building for a pair of scissors and walked a mile to where his car was parked and slashed three of his tires. Yeah, well he still hits me up. Men do not give a fuck.”

Lena had begun clutching her stomach in fits of laughter, rolling onto her back and shaking her head with tears prickling the corners of her eyes. You clapped a hand over your mouth, kicking Sydney and recalling how feral the three of you had been during your freshman and sophomore year. Moments like these made you wish the three of you were already living together again, as you had the prior three years. Well, Sydney shared a suite with you and Lena sophomore year and the three of you got an apartment junior year. After you told your parents that you planned to stay in Cincinnati after graduation, they knew you would need a place and gave you your graduation present early–a down payment on an apartment and your first month's rent. 

Cheering with the Bengals and substitute teaching on the side allowed you to save a little, but most of your money went towards bills. Lena and Sydney were planning to move in and split the cost three ways as soon as your prior lease was up. They had agreed to take on your portion of rent when you moved out of your previous apartment two months ago, knowing they wouldn’t have to put any money away for the down payment when they did move in with you. They still had about three weeks left until the lease was up, but you had all spent weeks packing up the other apartment slowly but surely. There were enough rooms for each of you to get your own, one was just significantly smaller than the other two. Lena had volunteered to take the space immediately, claiming she didn’t mind the lack of closet space or squeaky door.

Lena never had it in her to mind anything like that, she always just brushed it off and said it didn’t bother her one bit. She told you she was just excited to live with her two sisters, making you cry on the spot and tell her how much you appreciated her. Sydney would have taken the small room, she just wouldn’t have been happy about it and somehow both you and Lena knew she would find closet space one way or another. 

“I can’t wait for Joe Burrow to be sitting in my kitchen,” said Lena, letting Sydney spoon ice cream into her mouth now. “Or what about when you guys are fucking–”

“Lena!” You took the pillow you had been yelling into and pressed it into your flaming cheeks.

“Okay wait, answer honestly and don’t be modest. How big?” she swallowed, clasping her hands together in front of her, ready to inch them apart. “Tell me when to stop.”

“You’re both insufferable!” 

Lena, however, only continued to move her hands apart from each other with wide eyes when you still hadn’t said to stop. She hit the solid length, you nearly wheezed the word out with tears freely streaming down your face as all three of you clutched your abdomens in hysterics and girlish giggles.

“Do you need a third or what?” Sydney joked, already having pulled Joe’s Instagram up to stalk for the millionth time.

“Obviously,” you gave her a playful once over and winked, sending the three of you into fits of laughter again. 

⋆------------⋆

Practices leading up to the next preseason game against the Giants were brutal. Coaches were through with putting up with excuses and mistakes, leaving most of you on the team crying by the end of the night. When they wanted you to suffer, you suffered. Some of the senior girls who had been cheering with the team for a few years tried their best to ease the anxieties of the less-veteraned girls.

Everything hurt, all the time. Your back and legs mostly, but the soreness in your thighs and glutes made even warmups painful.

“Y/N!” Coach Traci’s voice bellowed. “What are you doing with your arms? How many times have I told you that if you can’t get this, I’m moving you back for our sideline dance sequences so you’re less visible?”

“Multiple times,” your voice came out as a little more than an embarrassed squeak. “I’m sorry, Coach.”

“Don’t be sorry, be better.”

You had to get your mind straight, shaking off the criticism and putting everything into the next time you ran the dance. Coach Traci nodded at you, the only acknowledgement of improvement that you would get for tonight. After the shitshow that was the Cardinals game, you knew better than to balk or disrespect anyone during practices. Everyone was strung out and tired, it was during a water break when you realized Joe was perched in his usual spot, headphones around his neck and running through some easy sprints. 

Good fucking god, had he heard your scolding? The thought brought you back to high school, the feeling of getting a question blatantly wrong in front of your crush or being reprimanded in front of the class for talking too loudly during a lesson. That same flutter of uneasiness left you feeling uncomfortable within your own skin, distracted again but pushing the thoughts aside in order not to repeat the whole embarrassing ordeal.

Joe was doing his absolute best job of casually sitting in on as many cheer practices as possible. The last thing he wanted was to cause trouble for either of you, but he would have been lying if he said he wasn’t using the fact that he is who he is to do his workouts wherever he wanted around the facility without a second glance from anyone. There were very few people meandering around, telling Joe what to do. With his injury, he was just now getting back into light conditioning and drill work so it wasn’t out of the ordinary for him to remain at the stadium to workout after practice had ended. He was watching from the sidelines most practices, occasionally being able to do a few workouts and passing the football around while everyone ran plays. 

He would take advantage of the opportunity to watch you while it was the most inconspicuous.

Practice unsurprisingly went late. Joe had disappeared back inside at some point, to finally go home you assumed. Once you were heaving and your body felt like pure jelly, you were finally allowed to go and grab your things and head in to shower. There were two text messages from Joe, delivered fifteen minutes prior.

Joe: Text me when you’re done

Joe: Actually do you wanna do what you gotta do and meet me in our locker room??

This boy is genuinely idiotic if he thinks you’re just waltzing into the team locker room, facility still far from emptied out. You ignored the messages until you got into your own locker room, sitting on a bench and shaking your head at his idea once again. Joe had absolutely nothing to lose here, that much was obvious from the start. You were a completely different story, though.

Y/N: Joe omg

Y/N: There are cameras everywhereeeeeeeee

Y/N: Can you just call me later?

Joe: No

Joe: Just go around the long way, don’t take the hall Emily’s office is on and come around from the other side. 

When you didn’t respond right away, he texted again.

Joe: The security camera isn’t facing the door, it’s facing who comes down that main hallway

Joe: I swear no one is gonna see you, the cameras will literally only get you taking a different hallway to walk out of the building and we can leave out of different doors

Y/N: You’re actually insane

Y/N: How do you even know what ways the camera faces???

Joe: I just walked out of the locker room and looked

Joe: I basically walked the whole thing, everyone went home 

Joe: Obviously not your team but yk what I mean, your coaches office is on the complete other side of the building 

Y/N: Go home, Joe :)

Joe: Please

Your thumbs hovered over the letters ‘N’ and ‘O’, but there was a part of you that couldn’t deny how excited the idea of seeing him again made you. The sneaking around had your gut twisting in a way that had all of your rational thoughts going right out the door. You’re pathetic, you told yourself as you glanced over your shoulder to make sure no one watched you type your next message.

Y/N: You need to see me so bad that you’re saying please?

Joe: Desperately

Y/N: Oh you’re good lmao

Joe: So I’ll see you in fifteen

Liking the message, you put your head in your hands for a moment and huffed a laugh as you finally turned on the shower and stripped yourself of the now sweaty practice clothes. Most of the girls showered at home after night practices, so only a few remained readying to leave. You took your time, double shampooing and ensuring as many people as possible had departed from the practice facility. 

“Good night, girl!” Carolina called out, walking out the door and leaving only you.

“Night, Carol!”

With shaky breaths, you brushed your wet hair once again and looked into the mirror. You had no makeup on and wore shorts and a Bengals hoodie now, which did nothing for your confidence as you walked out of the locker room with your bag in hand and cast your eyes downward. In your attempts to look unsuspicious, you took the long back hallway that wrapped around the inside of the stadium. There was the muffled sound of the janitors' speakers, but they were far from where you were and each office and support center looked desolate and left for the night.

The door to the players’ locker room was slightly ajar, leaving you to glance around again and double check Joe’s camera assessment. He was right, there was a camera on the end of the hallway, but it faced the opposite direction and caught whoever took the main entrance inside of this part of the building. Quickly, you slipped into the much nicer locker room and shut the door behind you. 

“That was twenty-five minutes,” Joe’s voice sounded from behind you.

“This is a stupid idea,” you cast him a playfully annoyed glance and locked the door behind you, turning to find him in shorts and a black T-shirt. “You’re a really bad influence, you know that?”

“So I’ve been told,” he walked towards you with such ease that you wouldn’t have believed he was just bed-ridden from surgery. His fingers found the hem of your hoodie, smirking down at you in his usual arrogantly charming manner. “I’m still glad you came, though. Even if I compromise your moral judgment so badly.”

He is so fucking hot, you thought as he continued fiddling with your sweatshirt. How is it possible to have this much sex appeal? How is it humanly possible for anyone to resist a look like his? Your entire body was on fire, swallowing hard and wondering once again how you wound up here with him.

“I can’t stop thinking about you,” he confessed. “I know I keep saying that and you’re probably sick of it. It’s true, though.”

The pads of his thumb and index finger brushed your bare torso, the circular motion leaving you breathing a bit heavier. His touch was less feverish than usual, more gentle and fleeting like he wanted you to know how much he wanted you. Hardly blinking, you let the tense silence guide you towards him in a way that left you practically flush against each other. Joe’s breathing hitched, giving you those sultry bedroom eyes and stupid smirk.

This time it was you who could no longer resist, kissing him softly as if to say that you, too, could not stop thinking of him. He slid his arms around your lower back, allowing you to wrap yours around his neck. Your back arched slightly at the long kiss, his right hand lowering to grab your ass and squeeze. He somehow maneuvered the two of you farther into the locker room between open-mouth, breathy kisses. Your back collided with the wall to the right of the sequence of open lockers, his mouth on your neck and biting gently at the skin of your collarbone. 

He pulled your hoodie off, throwing it somewhere behind him. Your fingers found his hair, tugging as he marked your chest up ravenously. A problem for later, you pushed the thought away and let your head roll to the side as he palmed both of your breasts through the fabric of your sports bra, occasionally leaving a hum of pleasure against the soft skin between your breasts. He kissed down your stomach and held you roughly by one hip, sinking to his knees looking up at you asking permission. 

“Did you know this was going to happen when you texted me?” You teased, still holding onto him by his hair. 

“When I texted you,” he started, letting out a breathy chuckle. “I prayed to god that this would happen, but I figured you were gonna tell me to fuck off.”

With a playful shove of his head, you looked away with blazing skin and blown pupils. Joe pulled down your shorts in one quick motion, running his hands down your hips and thighs with a lustful expression. He kissed you over the fabric of your underwear, fingers digging into the flesh of your ass. There was no denying the arousal dripping from you, wetting your panties, leaving Joe to raise an eyebrow and flash you an egotistical grin. A breathy moan escaped you and he stopped, causing a near-whimper to come from you.

“Quiet, baby,” he chided softly, “I need you to be quiet or we’re both fucked.”

The fact that he had called you baby was something to dissect tomorrow, you only inhaled sharply at his words. He looked up at you again with hair falling over his forehead, “can you be quiet for me?”

If he kept looking at you like that, you would do just about anything for him. You gave him a nod and he kneaded the flesh of your thigh now, finally pulling your underwear down and discarding them carelessly. He wrapped your right leg around his shoulder, on his knees before you.

“Can’t say that I’m complaining at this sight, right where you belong,” you whispered, cheekily.

“You’re hilarious,” he rolled his eyes and pinched your backside. “I’m on my knees for you anytime, just say the word.”

He didn’t give you even a second to respond, tonguing you with such desperation that your toes curled the second he put his mouth on you. Your slick had already coated his mouth and chin, his tongue running between your folds as his nose brushed the bundle of nerves. You struggled to keep quiet, eyes squeezing shut as you rocked your hips into his mouth and relished in each breathy moan that escaped him and reverberated against your center. 

His thumb went to your clit, rubbing feverishly at the bud and watching you turn to putty in his hands. Your legs began to shake violently, wondering how much longer you could stand the tight coiling in your belly. One of your hands remained in his hair, the other gripped the hard wall for any semblance of steadying as he devoured you. 

He grunted against you, picking up his pace and letting his hands explore as you bit back each and every sound you wished to make. He steadied you as you came undone, panting and unable to move or see. Stars clouded your vision, black spots causing you to close your eyes and breathe for a moment as you regained feeling of your body again.

The handle of the door shook, someone was trying to get in.

“Fuck,” you whispered at Joe, who was already carefully dropping your leg and reaching back to grab your shorts and hoodie. 

You slid the shorts on, throwing the hoodie over your head and letting Joe silently lead you farther back into the locker room where the showers were. He gave you a look that said to sit tight and make no noise. He didn’t look nearly as nervous as you, legs still gelatin and causing you to have to lean back against the wall to ensure your balance.

“Anyone in there?” A man’s voice sounded, muffled slightly from the distance now between you and the door. 

“Yeah!” Joe called out as casually as possible, he sauntered over to the door and flicked the lock and opened it. A janitor stood before him, cart beside him to clean. “Hey, Phil. I stayed late tonight, I don’t know why I locked the door. Must’ve been a reflex.”

Phil nodded slowly, he looked into the locker room and saw it all emptied out. Joe rubbed the back of his neck, swallowing and waiting for the man to say something. Phil only coughed and averted his eyes when he saw the lilac underwear balled up on the floor. He met Joe’s eyes and muttered that he’d come back around once he left, but not to be more than ten more minutes. Joe gave him a gracious thanks and sighed in relief as the man retreated down the hallway and brought his cart into another room, shutting the door behind him and turning his radio up considerably louder than he’d ever heard him play it.

“You can come out now,” he said, turning around and seeing the panties on the ground. He had no clue if Phil had seen them, but he also had no doubt that Phil was no busybody or gossip at his ripe age of at least seventy. 

“Do I get to keep these?” He asked as you came out from the showers, holding them up and smirking.

“Did I or did I not say that this was a stupid idea?” 

“Is that a yes or a no?”

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[giantchasm]

"It turns out that sometimes the future actually belongs to someone else."

Happy Taransusie Tuesday, everyone! Here's...

Content that only ostensibly focuses on Taransusie and is more than anything character analysis of a third party?

How romantic! 🎉🥳

Okay, but no, seriously. Joshing aside, the other day I posted a meme about Sectonia and how she might feel about the idea of Taranza eventually moving on from her. And it was funny. We all laughed. But things can't always be goof-goof "If everyone started saying 'she sent her for you' I would start haunting literally everyone here because no I didn't." I'm a serious guy. I like exploring concepts that make me go "OUCHIE!" and so let's look at that sort of idea through a more somber lens for a moment.

...How would Sectonia feel if Taranza eventually moved on?

Now, I don't know if she's out there... somewhere in Hades or haunting his ass, but either way I think about her a lot. How she might feel in death, especially if she was returned to her right mind.

I think... Sectonia would have a lot of complicated feelings. Like, before we even get to the relationship nonsense. Let's toss all that aside for a second. I think Sectonia would be simultaneously be crushed by the state she left Taranza in and still... upset to eventually see him heal from it. She'd be glad, of course, to watch the scars she left on him fade, but all the same... seeing him make new friends— leave her behind...

That would have to hurt a little bit, wouldn't it? After all, it's not like she'd be afforded the same opportunity. She died young. Via circumstances that were hardly her fault. Of course she'd be a little bit jealous. Of course she'd be a little bit depressed. Maybe even a little bit angry. And she'd feel bad about it, but she would.

So when you factor in the idea of Taranza entering another relationship... oh my gosh, those complex feelings would only intensify. Taranza deserves to be happy. Taranza deserves to move on. She would know that rationally, but at the same time, the heart isn't always rational.

I do think ultimately she'd support him. In whatever he chose to do. Even if it hurt her a little. The least she can do is give him her blessing after everything that happened.

But that's something that applies to just about any Taranza ship. Let's talk about Susie for a moment.

I... think Susie and Sectonia are people who have some similar issues. At least in my interpretations, they're both people who have warped and maimed themselves in an endless search of perfection hoping it will grant them acceptance from others. But this hasn't granted them peace of mind, and in fact all it's done is pull them further from 'themselves.'

I don't know. I just think they'd have a lot to talk about, even in contexts that don't flagrantly disregard the Bechdel test like this one. They're both girlies who would, like, really vibe to both "Oh No!" by Marina and the Diamonds and "Body" by Mother Mother if that's a sentence that makes even a lick of sense. Their mental illnesses aren't the same, but they're like cousins. Their mental illnesses went to school together.

I think this sort of... self-recognition through the other would both make things easier and harder on Sectonia. Because on one hand, I think it would further be a reminder of all the things she'll never have no matter how badly she wants them, but I also think it would help her... have more empathy for this person she's initially inclined to see as her enemy, and maybe even help her eventually want good things for her.

It's kind of a complex scenario. More serpentine than I could possibly portray in a single comic or Tumblr post. Eventually, I'd like to write a fic from a deceased Sectonia's perspective exploring these sorts of ideas. But for now, I'll leave you with one last preposterous observation:

Perhaps this, too, is yuri. 🤖🐝

[jakeyt]

Covet: Chapter 2

Pairing: Jake Kiszka x f!Reader

Covet Summary:

Life was good. No, life was great. 

Was. 

Until.

Jake Kiszka crashed into the picture.

You welcomed him into your life—your home. 

Yes, he was your best friend’s twin. But, he was also the one who would end up disrupting your whole world with his attitude, his troubles, and the annoyingly natural way he lured you in. 

Jake Kiszka came with so much you really didn’t want.

At least that’s what you tried to convince yourself.

Warnings: descriptions of past toxic relationship/cheating; consumption of alcohol; anxiety; mentions of sex/sexual situations; Jake being an asshole; Reader takes an extra Melatonin (doctor's advice)

Chapter Word Count: 8.1k

Covet Masterlist

a/n: wooohooo! we have come to chapter 2! 

please forgive me for how long this took to be posted. i am a school teacher, and the end of year is the most hectic. 🫠 so, busyness combined with my need to make sure i personally feel good enough with a chapter to post it. . . it’s not a good combo. lmao although, summer is right around the corner! and i promise when it comes, covet will get much more of my attention!! 

reminder that this is a ~slow burn~ in its truest form. 

i <3 and appreciate you all!! i truly can’t say thank you enough for the support and kind words (it means so much, esp w/ this being my first gvf fic). i love hearing feedback from each and every one of you!! 

alright, i will be done w/ my rambling. i apologize on behalf of myself. lol

hope you enjoy, my loves. 

Disclaimer: this is absolutely, undoubtedly 110% a work of fiction. i do not claim to know greta van fleet. i do not claim that any of this actually occurred. again, this is a complete work of fiction. And, please, DO NOT steal this work, as it is 110% mine. plagiarism isillegal. and, as our friend google puts it, plagiarism is ��illegal if it infringes an author's intellectual property rights.” and, being these words/ideas are my intellectual property rights. . .don’t take them. legal action will be taken if you take credit for any of my work.

-🌼🌼🌼 -

Chapter 2

The first month of living with Jake went about as smoothly as one would expect. 

His first full day in the apartment, you’d woken up, ready to be nice. Really. You’d tried your hardest to forget about how he’d acted when he had made his grand entrance. 

But he wasn’t giving up on his act. 

When you’d been standing at the coffee maker in the kitchen that first morning, loading your K-Cup, he’d stopped at the counter. You didn’t know what for, but when you noticed him there, you had tried to start a conversation. Some meaningless small talk to try and break the ice he’d created. 

And his only response? A barely audible hum. 

You did give him credit for glancing up to at least acknowledge your presence. Although, that’s the bare minimum of basic human decency. So, you didn’t give him much credit. 

But, that had been it. And then, he’d left for the day. 

It had instantly caused you to be pissed at everything. Including the coffee maker’s little unnecessary spurts as it poured coffee into your mug. 

Every day since then had gone about the same, sometimes with even less interaction than that. And to you, the lack of desire to even try to associate with you was offensive. 

After all, you were the person who had literally given him a place to live.

To make things worse, he was that kind of asshole that you couldn’t seem to get out of your head. It really just confirmed how truly repulsive he was.

You had gotten an idea midway through that first month to begin compiling a list of apartment rules. 

Initially, it had seemed pointless. Then, you reminded yourself that you were worth better treatment. You knew you deserved for Jake to show at least a sliver of respect towards you in your home.

-🌼🌼🌼-

You decided to tell Josh of the rules you’d crafted. 

“I will be very honest, I really don’t know how well those will go over, Y/N.”

He was giving you a look that instantly made you go into defense mode. 

“Joshua. It’s been a month,” you matched his look with one of your own. You wanted your point to be known. You were going to make damn sure that Josh understood why you wanted to do this. “Josh, he still barely even looks at me. I think rules would give us some sort of common ground. And it would force him to show the place—and me—some respect.”

“Jake has never been one to want to follow the rules — do what he’s told,” he scratched the buzzed side of his head, right above his ear. 

You stood with a hand on your waist, right under your thrifted crop top. You eyed him, making sure he knew he needed to elaborate. 

You didn’t know much at all about your roommate. 

You’d been waiting for Josh to share more, but he didn’t share much. He claimed that it wasn’t his place. You were desperate though. All you knew about Jake was that he was your best friend’s twin, what his record choices were, that he had been in an apparently crappy relationship, and the fact that he was an ungrateful asshole. 

Josh relented slightly. “I’ll tell you this story because it involves me as well. And we were so young,” he leaned with his back against the checkout counter, facing away from customers. “When we were in our freshman year of high school, he played soccer while I participated in theatre. He enjoyed it and he was actually quite good at it, you know,” Josh smiled, obviously replaying memories. “But, high school classes grew increasingly harder. We both struggled, honestly. We love to learn more. . . I mean, you know this about me. He’s the same way. But we really only enjoy doing it most when it concerns the subjects for which we’re passionate. 

So, high school work being less than interesting to us both, our grades dropped. Big time,” his eyes widened, once again reliving it all. At this point, he was staring into space to tell the story. “Our parents and teachers came down on us hard. They told us we would be kicked out of our extracurricular activities if we didn’t raise our grades.”

You shook your head, looking around the store. A couple of regulars were perusing. You knew them well enough to know it would be awhile until they were done. “I know exactly where this is going.”

You both made eye contact then, and as he looked your way, he gave a little closed-mouth grin that made his eyes crinkle. “Yeah? Guess.”

You smirked at your friend. “You, being you, were determined to show that you had what it took to make the grade. You cared enough about theatre to continue it,” he nodded at your words. “And, in the time I’ve known you, you’ve never been one to say no to a challenge. It’s why we are friends. I love a good challenge.”

He made a noise of agreeance. Then, his eyebrows raised and his lips turned down. The look he gave you told you he was impressed. “You know me well,” he continued. “Now, how well do you know your roommate?” 

You scoffed. “As you know, not fucking well. But I know he couldn’t give two shits about what others think of him,” you pointed to yourself. “I’m a shining example. So, —.”

“Essentially, he said ‘fuck it’ and just decided to continue on with what he had been doing in his classes, which was jack shit,” Josh had finished for you, wanting to complete the story he’d begun.

“How did he even pass high school?”

He gave you a deadpan stare and raised his  eyebrows. You rolled your eyes. At the same time, you both said:

“Girls.”

You rolled your eyes even harder this time. “Good God.”

Josh nodded, lips turned down, his eyes still held a little glint. “Yup. Get my point now?”

“Yeah, but like I just said, I’m not one to turn down a challenge. Just like you, Josh,” you smiled at a customer who was finally walking up to the counter, a few records in hand. “And your brother. . .I’ve learned he is nothing if not a challenge.” 

He nodded, he knew you were right. And he’d known you long enough to know that you did indeed enjoy overcoming any problem life may hand you.

In this instance, you hoped he understood your current challenge/problem was Jake.

And you needed to know how to fix it. Josh was your only source. You just had to get him to break for more information. 

Again, you really liked a good challenge. 

-🌼🌼🌼-

The shift rolled on. The two of you had been working the closing shift that day. 

So, as the day shifted to evening, and with about an hour before the store closed up, you started nightly duties. Josh went about straightening vinyls, fixed the ‘Featured’ wall (his favorite), and re-folded the shirts the store carried with the Black and Gold’s logo. 

Meanwhile, you swept and dusted the store. 

You hated to admit it. You really did. But you couldn’t help how the conversation from earlier had piqued your interest even more than before. 

You were now hooked. You wanted to learn more about your mysterious roommate. 

You debated how you were going to ask Josh for more information. What was a way you could ask that would convince him to tell you more about his twin? 

Ever since Jake had moved in, you’d tried so desperately to get information out of Josh. 

And he just refused to budge.

You were putting the broom away when you’d settled on how to ask him. 

You were going to be a jackass and use manipulation. 

You sucked, you knew this. You were just dying to know more about this person with whom you shared your home. And, to reiterate, it had been a damn month of knowing next to nothing about him. 

So, when you joined Josh behind the counter as he balanced the register, you were ready to play your hand. 

“Alright, so, Elsie still isn’t sure if she wants to be in your movie.” There it was. A complete lie using your sister— the one he was completely smitten with. In truth, Elsie had agreed on the spot. 

But, again, desperation had led you to this. 

You didn’t look up from your task of watering the plants that sat at the window. Just keep talking. “I have a proposition for you. You tell me more about Jake and I will convince her with everything I have to star in your film.”

You still didn’t look over to him. You were afraid of rejection. Then, you heard what seemed to be a sigh of defeat out of your best friend. You looked up to him, his eyes still reading uncertainty.

“Y/N,” he sighed. You knew he was about to say the same thing he had said for the past month. 

“I know, Josh. It’s not your story,” you moved forward to be standing right next to him. You balanced your elbow on the counter, you needed to say your piece—needed him to understand. You locked eyes with him, pleading. “Come on, Josh. I am desperate. He won’t offer anything up. He is silent. It’s been a month. He refuses to acknowledge my presence, hence me forcing him to notice me with the rules,” you paused, suddenly looking to the ground. You needed Josh to bend to your vulnerability. “But, I just need something else. You told me that one story earlier,” you urged. “Just something else small that might help me know him a bit better than I do now.”

You looked up. You were anticipating another rejection from him after you’d finished babbling. Though, his eyes seemed to open more at your apparent state of helplessness. 

He knew that it wasn’t fair what Jake was putting you through. He had to acknowledge that. You knew he felt most things with you. And you knew he was someone who had enough integrity to want to help you out. He knew this situation had been less than ideal.

He just had to loosen up on his stance of not wanting to tell his brother’s stories.

He released one more sigh. “Fine,” he looked you in the eyes. “And please try your hardest to get your sister convinced to star in my film. The role was created for her.”

You nodded. You looked to the ground once more at that last part. You felt guilty for using that little white lie. “You’ve got it.”

“Y/N.”

You looked up to him after he’d spoken your name in a tone that was much more serious than his usual. 

His brown irises were intent as he spoke. “You have to know I’m breaking a big rule of mine,” he continued. “I don’t like speaking to stories that belong to other people. Our experiences are unique to us. They deserve to be told by those to whom they happened.” 

You nodded. You understood his point. You totally knew why he felt the way he did. 

“Josh, you can just tell me childhood stories that involve both of you,” you grabbed his arm. You needed him to know you were being genuine. “I don’t want to make you betray your principles.”

He patted the hand you’d placed on his arm. “I appreciate that, Y/N,” he cleared his throat. “I just think you need to know some of the—,” he spread his hands out to emphasize, then clapped them back together. “The bigger pieces of him. At the moment, he won’t let himself show you who he is. He really isn’t a bad person. He’s just been through a hell of a lot recently.” 

All you could do was nod your head once. There wasn’t much left for you to say. You would let the curly headed man begin when he was ready. 

He eyed the clock. You looked with him. Only thirty minutes to eight o’clock. 

You looked down to your palms, wiping them on your jeans. They were suddenly getting clammy at the prospect of what information could be hitting you within the next 30 minutes. 

“I’m going to begin by saying that as his five-minutes-older brother, I’m glad that Jake gets to finally live life for himself without having to worry about being hung up on a girl,” he looked to the two folded chairs that always sat behind the counter. “Let’s sit.” 

You followed him to the chairs. And as he sat in the right chair, you sat in the left. He looked into space, contemplating what to say next. 

“Jake is seriously going through something he has never experienced before. I mean, your significant other being unfaithful to you sucks anyhow. But she’s been all he’s known for so long. . . This is a complete life upheaval for him, of sorts,” he pauses. “He and this girl — they truly were together for a long time. What are he and I . . . 24 now?” 

You nodded.

“Well, they got together when we were juniors in high school. That would make this relationship about seven years old,” he sighed. “Long time to be together—and it began when they were really only kids.”

You nodded again, coaxing him on. 

“So, since they were together that long. . . there was a lot that happened between them in high school alone, but then you have post-high school when he set his life plan on the back burner for her. We had these plans — big ones. A dream we’d shared. All of us. Sammy and Danny included.”

You were wondering what the dream could have been. “What was the dream?”

Josh shook his head. “It was Jake’s first. We all followed along behind him,” he looked down, rubbing the back of his neck. “It wouldn’t be right for me to share.” 

You were left wondering at that, but you did understand why Josh didn’t want to share. There was honor in that. And he wouldn’t be Josh if he didn’t show his honor, especially by showing loyalty to those he loved. 

“So, his dream. . .,” you exaggerated the word by using your hands as jazz hands. “It went down the tubes?”

Josh gave you a look. It was a look that told you to take a step back and try to understand. 

You relented. 

You knew it was only right to put your grumpiness with Jake aside for this story. Josh was showing vulnerability on his brother’s behalf. Plus, you’d been the one to force Josh out of his moral values to divulge Jake things. It wasn’t right to act anything but respectful to these tellings of Jake. For Josh’s sake alone.

And you’d be lying if you said you weren’t dying to hear more. Learning of Jake’s past was like satisfying this raging itch.

“I’m sorry,” your voice was quiet. 

The edges of Josh’s eyes wrinkled as he gave you a reassuring grin. “It’s okay,” he patted your knee and gave it a reassuring squeeze. “I know why you’re blunt about him. I know the man’s entire range of emotions. He acts like a child when he— when his emotions are so big and bad.”

“And right now,” you started. Your heart was growing slightly soft. “He is feeling the most emotions.”

Josh shook his head to agree. “Though, this girl was always a pill,” he rolled his eyes. “I liked her a lot at first, truly. But she started flirting with me an awful lot to be dating my brother,” his body shook as if to shake the memory. “It’s honestly not a shock to me that their relationship ended the way it did.”

Though, as soon as the last words had left his mouth, he looked down to consider them. He was weighed down by an emotion he didn’t need to speak out loud for you to know. Guilt.

It was your turn to reach a hand over to touch his knee. You just sat your hand there and told him. “You cannot blame yourself for any of this.”

He continued looking down. “I should have talked to him about how she would make advances. . . To warn him. Maybe he would have never gone and he could have—.”

He placed a palm to his forehead, eyes closing. He was going to get lost in this thought if you didn’t stop him. 

“Josh, she was a terrible person all along,” you placed a hand on his back, rubbing his right shoulder blade. “Jake isn’t a stupid person. He can’t be. You aren’t. And he’s your twin brother. He could have noticed the signs if he wanted to. It was his responsibility to drop her when he had the chance,” you gave his shoulder a squeeze. “Before any of this happened. Apparently he just loved her too much to fully acknowledge what he needed to do.”

You gave him a couple of minutes to really think about that. Then, finally, he lifted his head. “He wouldn’t have listened to me anyways,” He had a gleam in his eye. “My brother is a stubborn asshole,” he chuckled a little. “If you haven’t noticed.”

You gave him a look that said ‘No? Really?’ That turned a few more giggles loose from his chest. 

He continued, letting his tone become serious again. “So, our senior year, Jake really started getting serious about his dream. We all made these real plans, but they were ruined,” he paused, his mouth becoming a straight line. He was remembering a moment that caused a particular annoyance. “That was until she brought up how she wanted him to move with her if she got accepted to this prestigious school in Illinois,” he cleared his throat. “It makes me angry that she asked, but I also get wanting to ask your serious significant other to move with you. It was different—more than that, though. 

Her selfishness was so prominent so often; I think that’s why her asking rubbed me so wrong then, and still does now. She knew if she asked, he’d go. He’d leave his own aspirations in the dust for her. She knew what he wanted—what he’d always wanted. But still, she deemed her choices, her career, more important.”

You nodded, completely seeing eye-to-eye with your best friend. “I think there’s this sense of justice in you for your brother that he hasn’t always seemed to have for himself.”

“Yes!” Josh’s expression was one of relief that you understood. “And the thing with Jake is

. . . He’s always—girls have—,” he paused, gathering his thoughts. “As soon as his hormones kicked in when we were younger, he started noticing girls. He indulged himself in all of that,” Josh lifted his eyebrows. “He really has a strong appreciation for women, I’ll say that.” 

You rolled your eyes, nodding and then crossing your arms, sitting back. Your stomach leaped in a way you chose to ignore at the mention of his appreciation for women. To you, it was ludicrous that he couldn’t appreciate you in some capacity. If he needed sex in order to appreciate a woman, you were not the one.

“A big piece of him changed when girls started becoming involved. He lost a piece of himself. It’s almost as though he didn’t see himself as worthy without one. And now—.”

“And that’s why it’s so hard for him right now,” you finished the statement, bringing yourself back. “He’s lost a sense of his identity. . .

having to find out who he is without a woman.” 

Josh clicked his tongue, a smirk showing with a dimple in his cheek. “Precisely. It’s been a while for him,” a little spark caught in his eye. “On the drive moving him here, I told him that he needs to take a fucking break from women until he starts understanding what it means to think of what he wants first,” he rubbed at his forehead. “I know it seems like a terrible thing for me to say, but I think it’s important for him to put himself first for once in his goddamned life. He deserves to know who he is without a woman claiming him as her own.”

“Because he is worth knowing himself for who he is,” you concluded.

“Aw, Y/N. . . You growing a soft spot for Jakey?” Josh smiled smugly at you.

You held eye contact with him for a few seconds and then laughed outright at his statement. “You’re funny,” you looked to the clock, realizing you were only a couple of minutes from closing. You got up from the foldable chair and went to grab your purse from a hook behind the desk.

Josh followed your lead, but stopped to look for his phone. He tapped at all of his pockets.  Then, coming up short, he looked around the register and the checkout counter. 

You helped him look. But, the sound of Gloria Gaynor belting that “she will survive” helped you locate it easier. You saw it light up, sitting atop a box of new records at the back of the shop. 

You groaned, already walking to get it for him.

“Josh, you have got to be better about keeping track of your phone.”

Josh tsked at you, “And you have got to be better about not bossing me around,” he turned off the lights around the register. “I refuse to be a slave to such a tiny device that doesn’t serve any purpose to my spiritual healing.” 

You rolled your eyes at him, though you knew he was right. As you approached his phone, you got one final glimpse at the caller ID picture. It had been a picture of Jake. 

Even though you had just taken a deep dive into Jake’s past and grown a tiny fraction of sympathy and understanding for him. . .his picture still made you want to punch things. 

As much as his recent past had sucked, he  treated you with such blatant disrespect for someone who had offered their home to him. 

When you traipsed back over to Josh, he was waiting for you at the door, hand already on the doorknob to leave. “Jake called you.”

Josh turned around. His back was facing you and a thumb pointed behind him. “Pocket,” he said.

You snickered a little bit and did as he told you. Josh was choosing you over his prick of a brother and, quite frankly, you were bursting at the seams. 

-🌼🌼🌼-

You were not ready to go home to more awkwardness and Josh could tell as much, so he invited you to get a quick drink after work with him. 

He filled you in on everything else he deemed necessary as you drank a couple of margaritas on the rocks, him settling on just one Salty Dog.

Josh told a few finishing details about how much it had sucked to be separated from his womb mate for so many years.

“It honestly felt like I was cut off from him.”

Your heart hurt for him. “I’m glad he is nearer to you now,” you paused, curious. “Did he miss you that much too?”

Josh set a look on you, “Who was the first person he called after it happened? He was ready to be with me again,” he put a hand over his heart. “Came back to his understanding, sensitive twin . . . every moon needs its sun.”

You gave a conceding nod and shrug. “Fair,” you smiled. “You're obviously the sun.”

“Obviously,” he flashed a smile your way. “He might not admit it right now, but he was not at his happiest with her,” he stated. “As ironic or untrue it may seem with his moodiness, I think if he isn’t already, Jake is on his way to feeling the most free he has in a long time. I’m glad to have him back with me. Being away from each other wasn’t good for either of us.”

Your heart swelled for the tenderhearted man next to you. You watched as he looked off into space with what could only be described as a soft sort of pensiveness. You were happy for your friend, despite how Jake was acting or made you feel.

You felt your head get slightly light from the alcohol on an almost empty stomach from being at work nearly all day. You were still so curious, you wanted to know more.

“So, how did it happen?”

“Well, all I know is she was getting quite distant for a while, but Jacob thought she was only distracted by her job. Gave her the benefit of the doubt, let her do her thing and just followed along,” he gave you a look. “He did that much too often. My brother isn’t a puppy dog, but he followed her around like one,” Josh’s jaw clenched and he scratched at his bare chin. “One would say that he loved her. But as his twin, if my telepathic brain is worth anything, I believe that more than love, Jake shared so much with her when they were young that he felt obligated to follow her lead. . .no matter what.”

“And that makes you angry.”

“Oh, quite,” he continued, eyebrows bunched together. “The way he put it when he told me of the situation was that it was as though she was,” he held up air quotes. “‘Shooting the shit.’”

“Just told him like it was no big deal?” You shook your head. “That’s harsh.” 

“More than that, told him in a way that made it seem like she was already done. Essentially, his reaction meant nothing to her. She just needed to tell him in order to end things,” he continued. “She told him it had been going on for quite some time and that she didn’t think they could make it work after it all.”

“What did she do after she told him? What happened after?”

Alcohol was interacting with your senses. Otherwise, you wouldn’t show open curiosity like this. You were sure of it. 

“Well, she left,” He chewed his lip lightly. “Left Jake to deal with the aftermath — the knowledge of it all — by himself. She went to stay with a friend and he had exactly a week to get his shit together and move out. So, being the decent and thoughtful person he is,” you made a sound. Josh gave you a look. “He respected her wishes and got the hell out.”

You really had no words for the situation. It was horrid for Jake, you had to admit. You felt bad for him. You really did. Even though he pissed you off beyond belief, you still knew he was deserving of better than any of what she had put him through. 

You just wished he wouldn’t react in a way that made him become an utter jerk. Due to his attitude, you couldn’t claim that you knew the person who seemed so selfless and loving in Josh’s stories. 

The person you knew was the opposite of the one told in Josh’s tales. 

You only knew a self-centered jerk who held absolutely no respect for you in any way. 

You hated to admit to yourself just how much you wished to know the person Josh had told you about this evening. 

-🌼🌼🌼-

As Josh dropped you off at the stoop to your apartment that night, he shared with you an idea that had come to him. 

“This weekend. We need to do something this weekend.”

You quickly agreed, “Yes! I’d love to have a weekend that’s just us. . .like old times.”

“Actually,” he scuffed the bottom of his white sneaker against the stair step he stood on. He eyed you. “How about we involve Sammy and Danny?”

You could be okay with that. Then suddenly, your stomach flipped. “What about Jake?”

He met your eyes. “He would join. All of us. Game night.”

“Josh,” his name came out like a child’s whine. “Why?” 

He put a reassuring hand on your shoulder. “It will be good for both of you. He’ll get to be around you with others and you’ll get to be around him while he’s with people he already knows and feels most comfortable with,” he squeezed lightly at your shoulder. “It will be great. He’ll come out of his shell, and surely he’ll act a little more like himself if he’s around myself and the other two.”

Your stomach rolled at the idea of actually spending any sort of time with Jake. 

Establishing rules? Sure, you could do that. It might take 10 minutes max. But an extended amount of time actually hanging out? 

You agreed to it before Josh left you that night, even though you had your hesitations. 

You wanted to bring some joy to the man that had been there for you through so much. You were also desperate to look like the bigger person in this situation. And, surely agreeing to this would make Josh see that you were trying when Jake wasn’t. 

You needed Josh to see the trueness of your heart in all of this, no matter how much bitterness his brother had caused you.

When you’d entered your home that evening, the lights had all been off. Jake’s door was closed. He was asleep. Thank God.

As you stood at the bathroom mirror taking off your makeup, you convinced yourself it would be fine. You could find positives. You’d hung out with the other three before. You all got along very well in a group setting and honestly always had a great time. That part would be all right.

You just had to convince yourself that Jake wouldn’t ruin it by simply being there with his persistent little dark cloud of distemper. 

By the time you tucked yourself under your covers, you decided no matter what, you would have a fun time. If only for the benefit of the other boys and yourself.

You were also determined to show the best parts of yourself to Jake. A darker part of you wanted him to feel slightly (very) guilty for how he’d been treating his simply incredible roommate. 

But before game night, you had to talk to him about your rules. You weren’t looking forward to him blowing you off. You had a terrible idea that would be the response you’d get to you speaking to him. 

But you still had to try.

-🌼🌼🌼-

You thought through the best time to go over the rules with him, and decided the day before your night with the guys was the best option.

Your mind had settled on Jake taking two possible routes with the conversation. You figured going over them on that Friday before would work for both of these possibilities. 

One possibility was that he would sulk and pout and react like an asshole, and doing it on Friday would give him an entire day to do so. The second option was that he could very possibly just straight up ignore you like he usually did. And, you thought it best to do it a day before he would be forced to associate with you. 

It also seemed fitting to do so on the day that marked almost an entire month of him living with you. You were only one day away from it having been a whole month of him sharing your home. What a perfect time to actually acknowledge and officially, really talk to you. 

Time for him to realize all you were was a super kind person. A person who offered him shelter when there was virtually nowhere else for him to go. 

He needed to respect you and your hospitality.

You had gotten used to him usually arriving home by six every night. So, you loomed in the living room until he got home around six that evening. 

And almost right at 6 o’clock, you heard his keys jingle in the lock. 

As soon as he walked in and saw you leaning against the couch, he stopped to stare at you. It was an awkward-ass stare that made you want to slap him right across the smooth skin of his tanned cheek. 

He was just infuriating. 

“Hey,” you started, trying to sound easygoing. You didn’t know why you were nervous, but you were. 

“Hi,” his response was spoken as a question. 

You knew that you standing there probably seemed extremely odd to the man.

You didn’t care if it made him feel uncomfortable. He deserved it after making you feel edgy for the last month in your own home.

He started to move on from you, already deciding to disregard you. 

“So,” you started, sticking to the assignment. And, surprisingly when you spoke, he stopped in his tracks. “I think I’ve decided it might be a good idea to make some apartment rules.”

With his back facing you, you saw him shake his head. His wavy locks caught the streams of the evening sun’s yellow glow, making the head shake that much more offensive. 

When he still didn’t turn around, you continued. “You can go change your clothes if you want,” you folded your arms tighter to your chest. “I’ll wait out here.”

He then turned, crossed back to the kitchen counter and dropped his keys in the key bowl you’d had since Elsie lived at the apartment. Then finally, he faced you. 

Your stomach did a little flip. Why were you nervous to establish these rules for your apartment? You just needed to get it over with. 

He raised his eyebrows and gave you a look that said ‘so?’ 

His face showed that he was already irritated. It was like the mere act of standing across from you was too much. Being forced to interact with you was a hassle. 

And instantly, you were irked. Could he be any more ridiculous? 

Admittedly, you were also already done with this talk. Screw him. You heatedly whipped your phone out of the back pocket of your jean shorts. You clicked through to your notes, where you’d started the rule list. 

You started with the most agreeable rules.

“The first rule: don’t go in each other’s rooms. I think that’s common sense, but just in case it needs to be stated,” you moved on. “Number two: if we buy food or drinks, they belong to us and only us. I was thinking we could even make two separate sides of the fridge. One side for yours and one for mine.”

You looked up when you heard him take a breath. You looked at him just in time to see him breathe out a tight-lipped sigh, a mocking smirk on his face as he bugged his eyes. 

You chose to ignore him, blatantly rolling your eyes and looked back to your phone. 

“Rule number three: do your own dishes and do your best to keep the sink empty. Rule number four: keep our common spaces clean. You know, kitchen, dining room, living room, bathroom. . .clean up after yourself,” you glanced at him, seeing that he was looking into space, eyes still huge. His arms were crossed across his chest as yours had been. “Rule five: do your own laundry. And I think switching off every other day for whose laundry day it is would be a good idea. I get Monday, you get Tuesday, I get Wednesday. . .and so on.”

You paused, giving him room for notes if he had any. His face held a look you couldn’t quite read. 

“Any thoughts?” You questioned. 

He gave a little chuckle that seemed to mock the same air you’d just spoken the rules to. It was insulting. Still, you wanted to hear from him. So you waited. 

And after a solid two minutes of just standing there, he loudly exhaled. His hand combed through the front of his hair, pushing it back. His eyes blinked a couple of times afterwards. “You seem to have it all nailed down, roomie.”

“Well, thanks,” you hesitantly responded. You were pleased that he was okay with what you’d shared so far. But his mention of the nickname seemed more snarky than anything.

“No, I mean,” he cleared his throat, rubbing at his chin. “You’ve got it nailed down. Like, you left no room for any ‘notes.’”

You scoffed at the air quotes he gave the word. “I’ve hardly ‘nailed it down’,” you gave your own air quotes for his words. “These are just an outline of ideas I have.”

“Just keep going,” he sighed as though he was completely exasperated and tucked both hands in the pockets of his jeans. “I have a date in like an hour.”

“A date?” 

“And it’s your business how?”

“You just told me,” you argued. “That’s how.”

“Didn’t mean you could ask questions about it,” he bit back. “I was just telling you so you would know I don’t have time to just stand here and listen to you drag on about these ‘rules’.”

You shook your head, shocked at how rude a person could be. Completely in awe of the man, you decided you would continue. You were ready to be rid of him. 

“Fine,” you angrily pressed your phone back on. “Speaking of dates. . .Rule six: when you have a date over, please keep them out of the common areas and remember the walls are thin. . . In general, no especially loud music, no loud. . .,” you cleared your throat and your skin prickled with embarrassment. “. . .  anything else.”

“Oh,” he seemed interested. Figured. If it had to do with a woman, his interest was suddenly piqued. “That also applies to you and Josh, I assume?”

“What?!” You were suddenly very disturbed at that statement. “Josh and me? What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

He tilted his head down, his eyes sticking onto yours, hair falling to swing next to his face. “Seriously? You apparently know the walls are thin as shit. And our rooms are right next door, so I can hear the two of you stay up all hours of the night talking,” he looked to the side, his eyebrows raising. “Who knows what the hell else you both do after I fall asleep. You are both touchy as fuck with one another, so I’ll just let my mind wander with what happens behind closed doors.”

You started laughing hysterically at the whole statement Jake had just made. You couldn’t even gather your thoughts. Shocked was an understatement for how Jake’s assumptions left you feeling. 

“Are you kidding me?” You stepped towards him, pointing a finger in his direction. “Of course you would assume a friendship is more than what it actually is. Hopeless fuckin’ roma—.”

You stopped yourself. You had almost called him a hopeless romantic. How would you even begin to explain that you knew enough about him to call him that?

He took a step forward, his jaw clenched. He crossed his arms across his chest again. His chest seemed to continue to rise with his irritation. His fingers were digging into his biceps, clad in his light blue button-up.

“No, finish. Please.” 

Your blood pressure was rising, you felt your skin prickling with embarrassment and guilt. Your heart was racing. You shouldn’t have exploded and almost exposed what Josh had told you. You couldn’t betray Josh’s trust like that. You were being errant. You knew an anxiety attack was on the horizon if you didn’t stop soon. Betraying someone you love was known to bring you to tears quicker than almost anything else. 

You also couldn’t deny how bad you felt for referring to something that was probably still a sensitive topic to your roommate. As much as you despised him, you didn’t have to be so overtly uncool towards him in a hard time.

“Let’s just keep on with the rules,” you tried to calm yourself down. You didn’t need to have an anxiety attack in front of him. That was the last thing you needed. “Please?”

He seemed to catch on to your nerves. And luck seemed to be on your side with how he relented so quickly. He still seemed a little irked, but his eyes were softer than they were before.

“Go on.”

You breathed in and out once, then situated your nerves the best you could to finish. 

“I, um, I thought it would be cool to add a little something that would help keep us accountable for getting to know each other,” you didn’t want to meet his eyes, so you kept yours glued to the screen of your phone. “We both love music, so I was thinking. . .Rule seven: we switch off every other night and play a record on the record player. One of our own choosing. It would give us a good idea of who we’re living with.”

“Because the music we love really says so much about who we are,” he agreed honestly. 

You looked up after he’d spoken, and the look on his face as he looked down said he hadn’t meant to speak it out loud. His eyebrows knitted together like he had conflict within himself. He didn’t want you to know he thought similarly to you, you were sure of it. He’d let his precious little guard down the slightest, smallest bit. 

You couldn’t help it when a teeny-tiny grin landed on your lips. You shook it away before he could possibly see.

“Yep. Totally,” you said very quietly in response. But you knew he heard you when he blinked a couple times and then ran a hand through his hair, bringing his head back up in the process. 

He was making you feel very antsy, and his date would be here soon. So, you tried to finish quickly. 

“And finally, rule eight: we keep a work schedule posted to the fridge so we’re aware of when the other one will be at home. It will be helpful to know if the other one is at work; just in case of an emergency or anything, I thought it’d be helpful.”

You looked up as you finished, he was now leaning back against the kitchen counter. His amber-brown eyes stayed locked on yours earnestly for a bit. You felt your cheeks heat. Then he asked, “And you’re sure there’s not anything else?” 

You shook your head ‘no’.

His previously haughty tone was coming back when he spoke next. “How do you expect me to remember all of these things? And we'll post our schedules on the fridge?”

You couldn’t help it as your heart leapt the slightest bit. He still wasn’t completely rejecting any of the rules. In fact, unless he was somehow being sarcastic, he even wanted a way to remember them. 

“I—I’ll print it all out at work and put everything on the fridge,” you shoved your phone into your back pocket. “I’ll even include a place for our phone numbers, just in case we ever need those.” You added, "And we can just post our schedules when we get them every week."

He nodded once. He looked up at the ceiling then, obviously done with the conversation. You didn’t blame him. You really were too. 

You were suddenly longing for him to ignore you again. His presence was making you tense. You didn’t know how to act around him. You hadn’t had that problem with anyone for a long time. 

The last time was probably middle school when no one knew how to act around each other. 

But now as an adult woman? You hated that someone made you feel like this. 

And in your own home, no less.

He pushed off the counter and started to his room. Then, only steps from his room, he turned on his boot to face you, he held a look of blatant vexation. 

Ugh, what now? You thought.

“Do we really have to have our own sections for our food and drinks in the fridge? Why don’t we just put our initials on things that belong to us?” He reasoned. “I’ll even buy the damned Sharpie.”

You couldn’t find a way to dispute his suggestion in the moment. You could agree with that. “Yeah, sounds good. Good idea.”

He gave an almost-smile (couldn’t show too much cordiality), “I have a few of those every once in a while.” 

He then got a smug grin on his face, “Oh, and you might want to get some earplugs for tonight. . .paper thin walls and all that.”

“Jake,” you were stunned at the audacity. Your shoulders tightened up. “Seriously?”

He set his head back, raising his eyebrows up. A smirk raised his lips, “Nowhere on that rules list did you say I’m not allowed to bring women over. And I really can’t control whether or not I make them scream,” he set you with a stare, raising a brow. “And I’ve gotta say, that’s always been a pretty normal occurrence,” he paused. “And I most likely wouldn’t have been too keen on following a ‘no women’ rule anyway, so.”

“Asshole,” You scoffed, your thighs quivered. The disdain he caused you floated through your whole body. “A little full of yourself?”

“Alright then, don’t plug your ears,” his smirk only grew. “You’ll hear for yourself tonight. Post-breakup recovery fuck, y’know? Gotta get some of this lingering tension out of my system,” he shook his shoulders and arms out to emphasize his words.

Your skin grew angry goosebumps at the thought of everything he’d just said to you. You were amazed by him. Truly. 

Not in a good way. Not amazed in the sense he’d wanted you to be.

He turned on his heel to continue the walk to his room, and you just stood in your spot. Your bare toes dug into the carpet, waiting to hear his door click. 

Once finally alone, you let out a breath you’d apparently been holding. You shook your head at his repulsive words. You were utterly shocked that he would say any of that to you. What the heck? 

This interaction had shown you that it was obviously too much for him to be a pleasant human for an extended period of time.

And he had no issue making you feel completely on edge. 

Distasteful son of a bitch.

You wanted to go hide in your bedroom for the night. You didn’t want to chance running into him again.

You stomped to your room. You had had enough of Jake Kiszka for one night. 

-🌼🌼🌼-

You downed the recommended 2-pill dose of melatonin that evening, but snuck in one extra with a giant swig of water. 

Jake had left about an hour prior and you’d be damned if he woke you up with any sex-related noises. 

You were ready to get some sleep anyway, completely tired after the stress you’d dealt with. Your doctor had suggested melatonin to induce necessary rest after any anxious episodes. 

You knew you were to blame for a part of the stress, sticking your foot in your mouth the way you had. But Jake was the main culprit of the stress.

And you were done with him ruling your emotions for the evening. 

-🌼🌼🌼-

And of course, the next morning, Jake was stuck in your head. 

You hated it. It wasn’t because you wanted him there. It was thanks to a ridiculous dream that had plagued you during the night.

Your sleep had graced you with a reminder of the moment you’d almost outed your knowledge of his past. But in the vision, you weren’t feeling the onslaught of nerves you’d originally felt in the moment anymore.

No, in this version of it, all you could focus on was the vision of his chest, how it had been heaving in the midst of his irritation.

And it wasn’t even a covered chest that haunted your dream. No, it was his chest that seemed to be persistently bare. The bronzed, silky-smooth chest you’d seen one too many times in the month he’d lived with you. 

You couldn’t understand how he was 24 years old and still didn’t know how to button his shirts past two buttons. It maddened you that he didn’t know how to button his entire shirt. His toned light brown, sun-kissed chest was distracting in a way you wished it wasn’t.

All you wanted was to escape your roommate. And now he was literally haunting your dreams. 

You had chosen to deny how you’d woken up with sweat on your forehead, hair stuck to your equally sweaty face. You weren’t going to let him have that control over you. Not even in your dreams.

And now, you were completely dreading spending the evening with him in any capacity. 

You just hoped Josh came armed with damn good booze for game night. You desperately needed to get out of your head.

-🌼🌼🌼-

a/n: next chapter is game night! we’ll finally get introduced to sammy and danny <3

there is sooo much to come. i can’t wait to share more with you all. like i’ve previously mentioned, their story is quite the rollercoaster. our beloved roomies are both very stubborn . . . it’ll make for a grand ‘ol time! lmao

i hope you enjoyed!! plz message me & let me know what you thought! hearing from you guys is just so wonderful! let me know if you'd like to be tagged for future chapters!! <3

taglist:

@joshym, @gretavanfleetposts, @alyson814, @jaketlover, @writingcold, @jessicafg03, @gretavangroove, @gvfpal, @twinszka, @reesetrippingthelight, @lallisonl, @laurenlovesgretavanfleet, @Fretaganvleet, @222headedcalf, @dreamssingold, @carbondancingthroughtime, @raviolilegs, @whollyfreeamongstthestars, @llightmyllovee, @sacredjake (even if it seemed to refuse to tag, i still tried - ugh! i apologize for any weirdness of the tagging. if i missed you, please let me know! i think i included everyone, but it's def possible i accidentally left someone out.)

[snowyroads]

Hello, I'm about to go on a yapping session about my feelings on different football rpf ships because i'm up and can't sleep! :) grab your popcorn and get ready. I also just want to do this cuz i feel like i haven't given y'all an insight on what goes on in my brain.🧍🏻‍♀️(i started this last night when i was half asleep lol)

joemarr- THIIISSS ONE! okay, clearly this is one of my favorites. (if you couldn't tell from my mass postings about them or amount of fics i have) i feel like a lot of ppl have different opinions on their dynamic and somehow I agree with every single one. i think every since LSU days, Ja'marr has worked on Joe getting out of shell. not to call Joe introverted (because we all know that man could get it) I just think at the beginning with him being new to the team and not knowing where he fitted in, Ja'marr was the one there for him and take him under his wing essentially. THEN, I think Joe did the same thing for Ja'marr when he got drafted to the Bengals. because dude literally told his coach to choose Ja'marr. (some fan behavior right there) and when ppl were starting to doubt Ja'marr's abilities as a WR, Joe was immediately there to back his man up. I also think that little pinky thing they do IS ABSOLUTELY CRAZY. cuz wdym!??? i think i could write a whole essay just about that stupid handshake of theirs. it's something about seeing two grown ass men, join their pinkies together as a sign of 'friendship' and then going on their merry way afterwards like they just didn't interlock their souls together? OH. ALSO, the fact that they don't even call what they have a friendship, they both say relationship when referring to each other. cuz that's totally what normal bros do, yk? GIVE ME A BREAK. WE KNOW WHAT YALL ARE. the clothes buying? the teasing each other? Joe wearing JA’MARR’S JERSEY!? ok im not even done with everything i have to say about them but we'll leave it there for now.

Stefon/Josh- they actually make me want to scream. when i actually first found out about football rpf, they were the first ship i read about and i fell IN LOVE. but i found out about them too late and only got to enjoy two years of them together before the divorce. HAHAHA. (it's actually not even remotely funny) One of the best moments i think i saw between the two of them was when Josh was giving a pre-game speech one time and Stefon was so hyped, he jumped up and helmet bumped Josh's chest. wanna guess what happened next? at the next pre-game speech, Josh put his hand on Stefon's helmet to 'calm' him and stop him from making any unnecessary head bumps. Another moment that was crazy to me was the amount of just touching the two of them would do. like they always had to be connected in some way! AND the hugs after that lions game, the one where Josh literally looked like he couldn't breathe until he got his arms around Stef? WTF. THEY MAKE ME SIIICK. how you go from saying you wanna grow old with someone to giving him a half hug after a game? HUH? i just have to tell myself that they actually text everyday and that the side eye was just for dramatic publicity. Stefon will always be my #1 DIVA! <3.

koc/jj- okay, this one is still kinda new for me BUT it aint hard to tell what's going on with these two. for one, KEVIN IS SO FINE. IDCCC. shit i don't blame you Justin. AND JUSTIN IS JUST SOOO. UGH. he's the definition of babygirl. which is crazy cuz i never thought i would see a WR and go "babygirl?" BUT W JJ I DID. and then i just think Kevin can't help himself when he's around Justin. Always all up on him and in each other's personal space. like damn we get it. we all wanna fuck that old man. and we all think jj deserves to be treated like the princess he is! which makes them perfect for each other. It also just automatically has that tension to it because they are a coach and player relationship, so it gives "we can't get caught" ANYWAYS, ik there is so much more with them too but that's all i can think about right now.

Mike/Tua- ALRIGHT, they don't get the recognition they deserve! and i think that's because they don't have a lot of moments between them but when they do, it's big and they go viral. like the head kiss we got after Tua’s concussion (which i actually hope he thinks about his life before a career in football) and they have that same coach/player dynamic like koc and jj. also, i think Mike McDaniel is too hot for his own good. mhm. especially when he wears those glasses. OMG. anyway, im getting ahead of myself. Tua is literally the sweetest human being ever too and i remember watching hard knocks last season and their relationship and chemistry is just…WOW. (which is also why i can’t wait till this year’s with the Bengals comes out) idk how to explain it.

Brock/Fred- once again, they are both fine AF. ITS INSANE. also, size difference goes crazy. ANYWAYS. (there’s not a lot on them either so this is more just what i feel about them) Brock being Mr. Irrelevant and being the last pick in the draft, going from sitting on the bench as a 3rd string QB to STARTING is so personal to me. and he was scared as hell having to start so randomly in the season but Fred was there to pick him up when he was down and give him all the confidence he needs! Fred being a vet and teaching Brock how to be confident in himself and his abilities to be the best QB for their team. AND THEN, Brock takes them to not just one but two superbowls!? (ik they didn’t win but still it counts for something) i also just find Brock/Fred to be the definition of golden retriever and black cat energy. Brock’s the golden retriever ofc (have yall seen that clip of him saying “hi mom!” to the camera?? OMFG) Then Fred is the black cat because he’s always so nonchalant to me. like when the camera pans to him on the sideline, dudes got a straight face as they’re winning like 34-10 (ik that hasn’t rly happened this season but we move on) BUT YEAH, yall see the vision right??

okay if you’ve made it this far tysm!! <3 these football men make me crazy. i hope yall enjoyed my yapping session and feel free to ask or share anything!! <33

[thesrctsoftheuniverse]

finished season 4 last night and i once again have thought i would like to write down!!!

this time written on my phone bc im on holiday and havent gotten the wifi password for my laptop yet so bare with me

- may grant!!! I love that she got a bigger role this season. she’s so great and seeing her grow and learn the same way maddie had to learn was so beautiful to watch. her relationship to her mother is complicated but beautiful and i love that athena learns to accept that may is her own person. I hope we see more of her in season 5 and i hope we see more of athena and may together as well. her listening to her mom’s phonecall to 911…. I cried

-speaking of smaller characters getting bigger roles: josh!!! i LOVED what was basically a “josh begins” episode, he ATEEEEEE that one call where he had to direct several groups of LAPD officers around.

-bobby this season made me fear for a relapse. im so glad that he didnt relapse but im scared for him and worried. I hope he and athena can talk more and tbh i would love to see him open up again to the season 1 trio. chim, hen and buck helped him get sober after his relapse, i want to see them bond and vent together!!! the episode where he and michael played detectives LMFAOO

- i think ive mostly mentioned what i loved about athena this season in previous paragraphs, her relationship with may and her relationship with bobby. i absolutely LOVE how hard she went for that missing her, i loved her rescuing bobby from that sniper. there were some excellent scenes. i love her and hen together, my bestieesssssss!!!! i do wish to see her and bobby in more vulnerable scenes together, the fight and then aftermath of it was beautiful

-hen my love. what a rollercoaster. first of all i love her mom!!! she’s so fun and clearly trying to fix whatever went wrong between them. hen at med school is sosoosososo cool and i love her med school friends. she’s so cool being in med school even with everything else. I love seeing the main cast’s friends OUTSIDE of work, it adds so much to the characters . her and karen truly are so fucking important to me. the foster daughter arc with nia was so beautiful and heartbreaking. like im sorry you KNEW this could happen. but i love that they’re open to new placements even with the pain. and denny being involved!! and being scared of being taken away!!! Pls im gonna cry, the exact fear karen has

-chimney at the beginning of the season pissed me tf off. but then he was there for maddie in person and they were amazing!! girl dad chimney!! i love him, he loves his kid so much pleaseeeeee… and him telling the people who raised him how imporant they are to him. i love his character idk guys, hes just so wonderful to me. even if he clearly didnt see the signs of maddies post partum depression

- albert literally almost dying while his niece was being brought into the world was so fucking stressful jesus christ. i love him and i love his friendship with buck. uncle besties 4 life!!!

- maddie i love you so much. she was so beautiful this season, she deserves the world. she was so ready to be a mom but then post partum depression hit :( i hope she gets better, im glad she asked for help. her and buck’s storyline this season… the secret brother… for fucks sake how shocking and how HEAVY of a burden that must be to carry for so long. I love her so much.

- buck this season going to therapy…. Damn dont get too mentally stable or else they won’t know what to do with you anymore hahahaah!! nvm watch your loveofyourlife bestie get shot in front of you, have to crawl under a truck even with your trauma to save him and then literally try to keep him alive until the hospital only to then have to tell his son what is happening. heres moreeeee traumaaaaaaaa woooohooooo!!! ngl i liked him and taylor kelly this season, i kinda wish they would remain friends but i can deal with her as a love interest for now. shes an interesting character! his whole world being turned upside down when he was just starting to get better from the therapy by her sister admitting to them having a brother and him being born for spare parts. love you king, sorry you never get to be fully happy with yourself!

- eddie diaz you absolute cutie pie. will you ever be happy? Idk but you sure were bitchy this season. i fucking LOVED it, please tell me we get your bitchy ass back for season 5. him in the jinx episode??? I laughed so hard, truly an icon. I love ana flores but that man simply doesnt know what to do with a woman like her. oranywomanforthatmatter. him and chris is always beautiful, that is MY family. he loves that kid so muchz and him putting buck in the will?? hand in marriage next…. I knew what was coming from spoilers online but him being shot and the scenes after that of buck getting him inside the truck were so fucking nerve racking and also FUN!! what a moment.

-carla is back for 2 seconds and already spitting facts LMFAO

-the jinx episode was so fun and sossoossoso good pls more of it and more of ravi as well

-the treasure hunt episode was so good too!! I love episodes where they all get a bit silly

-the dam breaking and mudslide disaster was really good, especially with may being freshly at 911 dispatch and her MOM being stuck in a house that crashed down the hill. nothing tops the tsunami tho

- i want more buck and diaz scenes. and by diaz i mean chris.

thats all i can think fo rn my brain is tired i love travelling but it makes me so tired

[hermionc]

have not been able to come on here bc tumblr really brings me back to my 16-24 yr old self and she would be so affected by this. but man. i’m upset and everyone on twitter is playing woke police (as they do) and i really need to just

my one direction era kinda predates this blog actually, i was transitioning away after zayn left bc i felt like the illusion was shattered

been crying on and off the last few days. i feel horrible that he’s gone and i feel horrible for even feeling horrible

the nuance required here is beyond what i could fit on twitter, and to be honest so many people on there are just barely no longer teens themselves they have no idea how to relate to this feeling with me . like they weren’t there . and i’m glad cuz this feeling is jarring

i can’t remember mourning a celebrity before this. which is probably bc i’m only 29. like this just happened so quickly and he was so young i was in shock the first day and was like, oh, just another celebrity death whatever lols thankfully idc anymore. and then the next day the memorial posts started flooding in not only from the other boys - i know they’re grown now but we grew up together and they’ll always be those boys to me - but also from names i haven’t thought about in years - lou teasdale, josh devine, max from the wanted, greg horan 😭

and today i started to see posts from other fans.. people i had connected with over a decade ago. or people i never knew but who went through that experience with me regardless

it hits harder and harder every day. haven’t showered since tuesday. hair is a mess. was scraping by doing the bare minimum at work

now it’s the weekend and i’ll have a chance to catch my breath. or maybe just sit with it some more

liam was one of my first favorites in one direction. i was impressed with his vocal tone and range, i could always pick out his lines because at first he was just more mature and practiced than the others when it came to singing

i remember when he followed me during one of his twitter follow sprees i literally jumped off the sofa with my ipad in hand and started crying. my mom was like what is happening 😭 but she knew it had to do with That band because at that point, in my life, everything was

an escape when my teenage years were filled with so much strife - dad moving out on us after literally trying to kill my mom, brother in and out of the hospital, mom struggling to make ends meet and pay the bills while going to university for the first time in her 40s — on top of just regular teenage shit.

not fully understanding how the csa i suffered as an infant had affected me and attempting to navigate my own sexuality within that. allowing so many men to treat me as an object to be used - sexually, emotionally, whatever - bc that’s what i felt i deserved.

and almost zero support to pick up these pieces. living in shame and dealing with self doubt and downright hatred. until i realized i could find a healthier escape - not sex, not drugs, not rebelling at school - connecting with a community over music and these boys who were offering us a safe space. one direction would be there to help me handle some of the toughest life changes anyone has to deal with. emotional loss of a parent. restructuring of a household. neglect. bullying. hypersexuality. friends suicide attempts

but at the end of the day they were always there with a twtcam or a follow spree or a concert where other fans could post videos

it’s so heartbreaking to think it will never happen again. ever. because he was troubled and on drugs and fucked up from fame. we’ve seen this so many times and the news cycle will move on and life will continue for the rest of us but my god it’s so hard to stomach

someone who once offered you so much support without even knowing - made me smile on days i would have been numb or crying. whose voice comforted me more than anything else at one point.

it’s so fucking hard and complicated i guess is what i’m trying to say. and it hurts. and i don’t use this blog anymore so if you read even part of this — thank you. i love you

[imahyperfixatedbitch]

Not sure if you’ve done this before, but would you release your until Dawn character ranking? Who’s your favorite and why?

UNTIL DAWN SPOILERS !!

Heyy thank you so much for the ask I love getting them 🫶🫶

It was really hard to do this rank. To be honest, I like all of Until Dawn's characters, I even like the last character on the list, so:

1. Josh: I hate a lot of the things he says (especially about Ashley and Jessica even if he said them to motivate Chris and anger Mike) and a lot of things he did. But I do think he's a great character because he's the most interesting one to analyse, in my opinion. He's a really nuanced character, and he's really sympathetic. Like in the end you can't help but feel bad for him because you know none of it was his fault, everything is so unfair to him and as someone with younger siblings, I can definitely understand why he'd want revenge. And I could keep going about how he deserved better... Aside from that, he has some really iconic lines and moments. Especially as the psycho, I'm pretty sure I love all of the psycho scenes. Also, Rami Malek's acting is perfect he really made a difference. Josh just brought the drama, and honestly, his reveal made my jaw drop. He's iconic.

2. Chris: so chris is my second favourite because he's just so likeable to me. I feel like he reacted quite well to the events of the night (if you don't make the worst choices), yes he was in denial sometimes but who wouldn't? And he is a bit corny but it was 2015. He's a good friend to Josh and Sam, a good (potentially) boyfriend to Ashley. He has cool lines and he just seems like a cool dude. His monk prank nearly gave me a heart attack so props to him.

3. So Sam is also really likeable. She literally does nothing wrong! She's smart, beautiful, friendly, brave... But that's also a problem. She's too perfect. Not morally grey enough to me. I wish she just reacted more to things. I wish she was meaner to Mike, and I wish she stayed with Mike and Josh in the mines. Her leaving was so random, and it's less interesting than her staying. What I really like about her development is how she seems like she will be way less pacific and friendly after all of this when you see her in the credit scenes. She just seems so changed (understandable). Sadly, we will never see this side of her. I also wish we could see more of the relationship she had with Josh while dealing with the disappearance of his sisters since we know they bonded a lot over this. But hey, we can always imagine!

4. Emily: Yes, I am aware she's really hated, and I actually used to hate her too. But then I analysed her character, and I realised she's not a bad person. Sure, she has an attitude problem, and she uses Matt as a rebound (it doesn't necessarily make her a bad person, it's "just" unhealthy) while treating him badly sometimes (this is something that I hate about her tho); But everytime she got mad it was honestly valid: Hannah trying to get with Mike? Valid. (She did, however, overreact, and the others had no business joining in the prank) Jessica who was supposedly her best friend coming up with an awful prank to pretend she's helping her out, while she actually has a crush on her bf, then dating Mike after 2 of their friends disappeared because of the prank Jessica came up with since "she wanted Mike and Emily to stay happy together"? Valid!!!! Ashley and Mike threatening her with a gun?? Valid af! So yeah she never gets mad for no reason, plus she's a very capable woman and iconic (understand the palm of my hand bitch). The fandom is unfair (and misogynistic let's be honest) towards her.

5. Mike: So Mike is both an asshole and a hero, which kind of makes him interesting to me. Like he has funny moments and reactions, but he did really fucked up stuff. Like pranking his friend who has a crush on him!? It's so cruel for no reason. Potentially kill Emily too. But he can also be quite heroic, like when he runs after Hannah when she's dragging Jess away. Or how he tries to keep everyone together and just get everyone out of here. He has great survival and leadership skills. So I'm pretty mixed on him. I do think he had a bit too much alone screentime (we needed more from Jess and Matt). I do feel like he gets away with a lot of things.

6. Matt: So I really wanna root for the guy you know? Like I want him to get out of his relationship with Emily (even tho she can truly start loving him by the end), I want him to be happy. He's a good guy. And I really like that his character development starts if you stand up to Emily. But he didn't have enough screentime. So I can't rate him higher. I will give him props for traumatising me with his telescope jumpscare.

7. Jessica: So she's an asshole to me. But she's a bimbo and she's just so silly and goofy. I just can't hate her. She also went through a lot on the night, which makes me feel sympathy for her. But I can't rate her higher because 1. She's an asshole towards Hannah and Emily. 2. Not enough screentime.

8. Ashley: I know it's gonna be controversial. I DO like her, but I just don't understand her. She's a super interesting character to analyse. She's so morally grey, but sometimes I have a hard time feeling bad for her. I do think her freaking out was completely normal, tho. I don't understand the people who hate her because of that. I just feel like she rarely feels bad for people. She's a bit egoistic. Her letting Chris die was not fair to me. Yes, of course, it's normal to hate Chris if she shoots her. But he did it because he thought he had no choice. He was under the influence of fear. He would never kill her if he didn't have to. He thought his own life was at risk. But her not opening the door was not under the influence of fear. She did it out of pettiness. She was not risking her life by opening the door. And even if she actually did it because of fear, she would look terrified while Chris is getting killed. But she was just staring. She almost seemed to enjoy it. She also wanted Mike to shoot Emily. It seems like she completely loses control when she's on stressful situations (understandable) and shows no sympathy to others. So, it makes it hard for me to connect with her. I still think she's a good character and very interesting. And she brought cool moments to the game (like letting Chris die was kind of shocking/funny and cool because it's a great butterfly effect). Forgot to mention how her honesty goes down if she shows remorse for the prank which is icky to me 😬

Anyways, thank you for the ask. Don't hesitate to debate with me and send more asks. Love y'all 🫶 I'm not checking the writing. Sorry for the typos, English is not my first language.

[oliverreedmasterass]

Prologue | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Interlude | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Second Interlude | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12 | Epilogue

Chapter Summary: Jake's not telling Rae something, and she begins to question who she can trust in this strange town.

Words: 2.1k

Warnings: language, mentions of poor health/hospitals, missing people

Notes: Thank you to @infinisonicosm for the fic idea!!

-----------------------------------------------------

Rae watched as Jake’s face dropped, every ounce of his cool demeanor drained away. He positioned himself so he was standing in front of Sam, leaving Rae uncomfortably standing off to the side, unsure whether she should stick around or leave. 

“Sam, tell me,” Jake said in a hush, his eyes locked on the younger boy. 

Sam raked a hand through his full head of hair, and then took a shaky breath. “I found his backpack in the woods.” 

Jake frowned. “Sam, what were you doing in there?” 

Oh shit, Rae mouthed, and started to take a few cautious steps away from the two boys. Jake seemed like he was on the verge of imploding. 

“He’s my best friend,” Sam raised his voice in retaliation. “What else am I supposed to do? The cops aren’t any use.” 

Jake was level in his response, but anger seeped beneath his words. “It’s not safe for you in there, you know that. What if you went missing next?” 

“That’s a risk I’m willing to take.” 

“Not me.” 

“I’m gonna take off,” Rae cleared her throat and raised a hand. Jake jumped away from Sam in shock at the reminder that Rae was still there. He turned to face her and shot an apologetic half-smile which was obviously forced. Behind him, Sam looked like he wanted to bike away from Jake as fast as he could. 

“Sorry,” Jake tried to turn back on his charm. “I can still walk you back to your place, I wasn’t expecting to run into my younger brother.” 

“You’ve obviously got some stuff to discuss,” Rae couldn’t help but widen her eyes. Jake looked back at Sam and sighed. 

“Yeah,” he agreed. “Yeah, I think we do.” 

“I’ll see you on Monday,” Rae promised Jake. He looked like he wanted to say more to her, but he kept his lips shut and waved her off as she turned on her heel to head home. As she walked away, she could hear Sam pick back up his conversation with his brother. 

“Jake, there were some weird smells in that bag. I’m really worried.” 

“Hey, hey, keep your voice down. Let’s talk about this at home, okay?” 

Smells? Rae wondered to herself. What the hell does that mean?!

Rae was caught in her head for the rest of the ten minute walk to her house. While being around Jake had lifted her spirits significantly, there was a lot that was off about him and the other people in Frankenmuth. Rae felt a deep pit of uncertainty widening in her stomach about everything. Josh made her nervous, she was petrified of whatever was going on in those woods, and the conversation between Jake and Sam was bizarre. Already on her second day, she felt like she had witnessed enough drama to last a lifetime. Her friends back in Folsom were going to lose their minds when they heard about her time with the mysterious senior. But, Morgan would be the first to hear about it all. 

After receiving a frankly deserved scolding from her mom for taking too long to bring the groceries home, Rae dragged Morgan outside where they could talk in private. As soon as they settled into the lawn chairs their dad had set out at the far end of the property, Morgan shot Rae a knowing grin. 

“So, tell me about the friend you made.” 

“Morgan, literally the most interesting guy I’ve ever met.” 

“Did he have a face tattoo? Please tell me he had a face tattoo.” 

“No, he’s a senior at Frankenmuth High.” 

“Ooh, Rae,” Morgan teased, wiggling his eyebrows.

“Hey, what do you think it means for a backpack to have weird smells?” 

“Huh?”

Rae shook her head. She was hung up on what she had overheard Sam tell Jake and, more importantly, how quickly Jake had told Sam to lower his voice. That information was obviously something that Rae wasn’t supposed to hear, which made her all the more intrigued. 

“Let’s say, hypothetically, someone goes missing in the woods and, a month later, someone else finds their backpack and describes it as having weird smells. What do you make of that?” 

“That’s way too specific to be a hypothetical situation, Rae. What the hell is going on?” 

“Just, help me think through this. Like, do you think of drugs? Bodily fluids?” 

“I genuinely have no clue. You’re kinda worrying me.” 

“I feel like there’s something off about this place,” Rae admitted. 

“Gut feeling?” Morgan checked in. Rae nodded her head. “I did see missing posters when we were driving in yesterday,” Morgan thought aloud. “I guess I didn’t really think too much about it until now.” 

“The guy I met told me to avoid the woods. I guess that’s where people have been missing.” 

“Wait, like, multiple people?” 

Rae nodded and held up three fingers to her brother. 

“Shit,” Morgan breathed out. 

“Stay away from those woods, you hear me?” Rae stared at him to make sure he understood how serious she was. Morgan was luckily quick to agree. 

“I’m not going in there, are you kidding me? What would I do in a place like that? I’m a simple guy, I listen to my music, I spend a buttload of time in the hospital, I watch hockey. No need for me to wander into some sinister woods for the hell of it.” 

Rae was relieved that Morgan wasn’t like Sam. She was haunted by the look of terror etched on Jake’s face when he had learned that his younger brother was wandering around in a deadly place that had taken three lives before, and potentially countless more to come. Morgan studied Rae when she didn’t give him a response, and leaned closer.  

“So this guy you met, he has something to do with the missing people?”  

“His younger brother’s best friend went missing a month ago.” 

“Shit. And they found his backpack?” 

“Yup.” 

“That’s a bummer.” 

Morgan was quiet for a few beats, as if giving a moment of silence for Sam’s friend, and then he nudged Rae in the arm. 

“You like this mystery guy?” 

Rae’s cheeks flushed, and she shrugged. 

“Jake’s okay.” 

“Jake? That’s a good, strong name.” 

“Dude, you’re starting to sound like Dad.” 

Their laughs carried up into the trees on the outskirts of their backyard. Rae gazed up at the top of one of the tall trees and her laughter quickly fell flat. The trees in Frankenmuth had an eerie quality to them that filled her with a heavy sense of dread. She wanted to talk with Jake more about the trees, her gut feelings, and Sam’s missing friend. She wanted to understand what he thought was going on in those woods, and if there was anything the people of Frankenmuth could do to stop it. 

She gazed over at Morgan and jumped to her feet. Deep red blood was flowing from his right nostril, pooling above his cupid’s bow. 

“What?” Morgan looked up at her. Rae didn’t need to say anything since he reached up and wiped under his nose, observing his hand afterwards. “God dammit,” he muttered. 

“Let’s get you inside,” Rae said as she helped Morgan to his feet. He retrieved a tissue from his pocket that had some red splotches on it from a previous nosebleed and held it to his nostril. 

“You know this is my third one today?” Morgan shared. 

“That’s not good,” Rae couldn’t help but comment. Her parents were always hounding her to stay optimistic around Morgan, but she knew that he could easily see through her bullshit. He liked being told things straight, even if they were bad. 

Morgan trudged into the downstairs bathroom and discarded his tissue, now soaked in crimson, into the trash bin with a look of disgust on his face. Rae sat on the edge of the bathtub and watched his downturned facial expression through the mirror as he cleaned himself up. It could have just been the lighting, but she noted that he was looking more pale than usual. 

“I’ll give you some of my tampons, you know, like in She’s the Man?” Rae attempted to lift her brother’s spirits. 

“I genuinely might borrow some before school starts,” he murmured. Rae continued to watch her brother attempt to remove any evidence of his deteriorating health from his face, and felt the weight of his situation like a load of lead on her back. 

Eight months prior, Morgan had come down with what they assumed was the flu, just after the holidays. He usually bounced back fast from illnesses but, for whatever reason, this one knocked him out to the point where Rae didn’t see him for a week straight. After 3 weeks of being entirely bed-ridden, Morgan was taken to their family doctor. They took a blood test, just for safe measures, and that was when they found it. His blood cell count was disproportionately high, and they discovered mutations happening that were overwhelming his healthy red and white blood cells. To the surprise of everyone, Morgan was diagnosed with chronic leukemia. 

Although they had moved so he could start chemo, Morgan still insisted that he attend school for as long as he physically could. Otherwise, he’d be festering alone at home, which was the last thing he wanted to do. Rae and her parents were concerned about how much Morgan could handle, both between being the new kid at school, and battling a deadly disease, but he was a tough kid. 

“Hey, those tampons are all yours,” Rae warmly replied. “You own shoving those up your schnoz.” 

She was glad that earned her a decent laugh from Morgan. 

Across the hall, they heard a knock at the front door. 

“Rae! Can you get that?” Rae’s mom called from the dining room, where she was setting the table for dinner. Rae’s knees cracked as she slowly lifted from the bathtub, which got another chuckle from Morgan. She shot him a playful middle finger as she passed by him to open the front door.  

Standing on their porch was Jake, still carrying his bag of beef jerky and taking in the modest exterior of her house. 

“What are you doing here?” Rae couldn’t help but gawk. 

“I know this is a little strange,” Jake admitted. “I just wanted to swing by and apologize for my brother interrupting our walk. He’s dealing with a lot right now which has, well, been a bit of a challenge.” 

“You don’t have to apologize,” Rae cut him off before he could go any farther. Behind her, she heard Morgan creep out of the bathroom and stand just out of Jake’s line of sight so he could see who was at the door. “Is everything okay? You seemed pretty shaken up.” 

“I mean, no, but yeah. Don’t worry about me. I won’t take up too much of your time, just, uh, sorry for being a shitty tour guide. Oh, and I wanted to give you this.” 

Jake reached into his back pocket and retrieved a small slip of paper that he tucked into Rae’s hand. She uncurled her hand and stared down at Jake’s grocery store receipt from earlier. 

“You want me to know how much you spent on that beef jerky?” 

“What? No, turn it over.” 

Rae did as she was told and made a sound of understanding when she saw that Jake had written out his phone number in his chicken scratch writing. 

“That’s a 2, just to clarify,” Jake said, leaning close to Rae to point down at the paper. 

“Are you sure you want to give me this?” Rae joked around. “I’m never gonna leave you alone.” 

“Hey, that’s not the worst thing to happen to me,” Jake shrugged. Rae wanted him to keep talking, but he cut himself off at that. 

“Well, maybe we can find a place to meet up before school starts on Monday,” she suggested. “You can show me where my classes are so my first day isn’t an absolute nightmare.” 

“You’ve got it,” Jake gave her a wide grin. “See you then, Rae.” 

Jake gave her a salute, and then jumped down the three stairs leading from their porch to the walkway and hurried to the sidewalk. Rae watched him turn around and give her a thumbs up before heading on his way down the street. Morgan joined her side and watched Jake speed off into the distance. 

“I’m assuming that was Jake.” 

“Yup.” 

“He can’t stay away from you.” 

“Yeah, I don’t know what’s up with that,” Rae replied. Then, she stopped. 

“What?” Morgan asked, picking up on her sudden tenseness. 

“He never walked me fully home,” Rae realized aloud. “I have no clue how he knows where I live.”

***

Note: I wrote the ending before everything that went down on twitter this week...I will acknowledge that this didn't age well, like, at all

Taglist: @lvnterninthenight, @writingcold, @myownparadise96, @i-choose-the-road, @psychedelicsprinkles, @mama-likes72

[camibarbz]

3. The O.C.

4 years later and I'm back. It's safe to say that I'm somewhat of an expert at this show. I rewatch it at least twice a year. Let me just say CINEMATIC ART. Josh Schwartz actually ate down with this one. Okay here's my little spoiler warning -> SPOILERS AHEAD

The first episode is probably one of the best pilot episodes I've ever seen. From the beginning we get angst, we get drama, we get humor. Ugh it's just SO SO GOOD. Like are you joking? I can't even comprehend my thoughts I love this show. "Who are you?" "Whoever you want me to be." LIKE ARE YOU KIDDING. The soundtrack was iconic. The fashion, iconic. Some of the most quotable things. It was the perfect amount of drama for a teen show without going over the top (sorry Riverdale) and it was just so funny.

Character Review:

Marissa Cooper wasn't the worst person in the world, she was just hella misunderstood with a wacky mom and family. She is the human embodiment of a cry for help. Her mother is as they say - Julie Cooper. Although she loves her daughter, she loves status more. Some of her ideas were great, they just lacked in execution. And I know Marissa could be a pain, but she just needed help and love. She should've gotten that psychiatric help. But alas, she stays to add fuel to the fire. What is a teen drama without drama. She is such a nuanced character and I will not stand for the slander (maybe some but like SHE'S NOT ALL BAD CMOONN) She definitely did not deserve to leave the way she did. #rip

Ryan Atwood, the ultimate broody bad boy who's really a softie at heart. Literally could not catch a break. Went to jail (bc his brother wanted to steal a car) His girlfriend shot his brother (and we got a hilarious SNL skit out of it), burned down a staging home (luke's fault but still), got a girl pregnant (allegedly) and then she miscarried (lies), fell in love with Marissa (#rip) always felt like he had to fix everything for everyone (his downfall) became a cage fighter (cuz Marissa #rip) got kicked out of school senior year (cuz of Marissa #rip) came back to school (yay!) (my timeline if fked). I know his need to fix everything for everyone came from having to lock in throughout his childhood, but alas (again) where would the show be without it. Marissa was his real true love, no matter how toxic it was. They were literally written for each other. And super unpopular opinion but his relationship with Taylor near the end was cute! It might've been just what he needed. He was funny unintendedly and I loved the ongoing lore that he couldn't lie to save his life. and he was hot. NEXT

Seth mfking Cohen. I think the thing that got me was that he was just hella charming. He was a little shit, but his charm and humor got him through the show without being absolutely insufferable. Like all characters, he has his flaws but his character was there to make sure we weren't dark and gloomy all the time. I truly hope that after the time jump, he actually became a real person and not just a funny spoiled brat who is now an adult and married the love of his life. Now that I think about it, he didn't ever really have a true character arc, but at least he was goofy and funny. He's a perfectly imperfect character who has a purpose and executes it flawlessly.

Summer Roberts, loml. My favorite character of the series. From season 1, she has an EXPONENTIAL character arc. She turns from certified mean girl to a certified baddie with a heart as big as the sun. She always ate down with her outfits, had insane one liners, and was the one girl to always LOCK INNN when they needed her. When she actually ended up being a genius, I was OBSESSED. I liked how they approached this storyline as opposed to how Glee did it with Brittany. NO NOTES!

My favorite episode of the whole show was the one where they got locked in the mall after sorting clothes for the clothing drive. I love love love when shows do something fun to balance out the dread and drama. Them rolling around with the hockey masks looking like Jason Voorhees from Friday the 13th was funny asf.

Rating: 9/10

minus 1 because (shockingly) i did not enjoy season 3. I didn't hate season 4 as much as everyone else, but the most insufferableness occurred during season 3 for me. Like Marissa's public school arc. Like Volchek (UGH) Like Johnny. #rip johnny but like BRUH CHILL OUT> However all the other points because of my favorite tv dad Sandy Cohen for saving the day (except when he cheated on his wife, that was so not cool sandy).

[burtonsdoodles]

MORE RANDOM NEWSIES NOTES… PART THREE

Having sat in Brooklyn, I now 100% understand what they mean when they say seize the day really takes it out of them - you can see the sweat dripping, hear the huffs of breath and there were genuine tears falling on a number of faces as they tried to hold it together for the picture… though granted those tears could have been more to do with it being the final OGs performance… 🤷‍♀️ but no matter the reason, it was incredible and I have a whole new appreciation for it now… phenomenal!

Speaking of seize the day - I am obsessed with the changes - the sound of the sirens coming in as things heat up - adding the roll call (did anyone who was at the last OG show catch the names Jordan and Zach used - I didn’t and I’m just curious.) Though my absolute favourite section is when things slow down and turn into a bit of an Irish jig (no clue if that’s actually an accurate way of describing it but that’s what I’m going with). I love it so much - it gets me every time! Whoever’s decision it was to do that deserves ALL the gold stars!!!

Now we need to talk about Josh Barnett as Race because… PERFECTION!! While I love bens race and livesies in general is incredible - it’s the thing which started it all… but I have really gotten to love the original film and the grit it has - something that wasn't transferred into the Broadway show - but this uk production really feels as inspired by it as it is its Broadway predecessor… but once again I digress, Josh’s race feels like he could have been plucked from the streets of 92sies - he has that same grit and wit of max casellas race who commands his own respect amongst the streets separate from Jack… I think I’ve said this in another post but it’s cool so I’m saying it again, one of my favourite changes is that Jack isn’t the one who starts the show - race is - he’s the one who kicks everything off and calls all the other newsies to order, the action doesn’t start without his say so — and I love that!

Now to the thing I noticed on my last visit which was really interesting — when it comes to the day of the strike and davey and Jack are trying to make out that everything is fine even though barely anyone has shown up and race and finch are questioning everything and then they bring up spot conlon and daveys like “well if you see spot conlon then they’re with us”… race looked like he was about to absolutely thump davey for that - “why you litt—! ⬇️

Scratch that - Saw it again last night and race full on went for him - “why you son of a b—!” - only being stopped by Jack - race was fuming, as the scene went on and the others are talking, race is at the gate with davey and got right up in his face to say something to him - I didn’t actually catch what it was - but it was along the lines of “don’t ever speak to me like that again”… it might not have been that but whatever it was it was intense and I am now obsessed with this moment and absolutely love seeing an angrier/offended side to race

OH MY GOD I now fully understand why people rave about finch so much - he is a fascinating character to watch! Apparently Woodside is a prime finch spotting location… he actually did the bit albert usually does which is holding crutchie whilst Jack has the crutch… but he did not look happy to be doing it - the face he had as he held onto crutchies hand and Jack messed with the delanceys was the picture of - I don’t want to be a part of this! I don’t want to be a part of this! I don’t want to be a part of this! Jack stop causing trouble! As Jack was being chased finch literally called out to him - “you’re an idiot!” And from that point on finch was all I was watching throughout the rest of the show… (I might go into this more in another post)

Also I am now enamoured by the bond between finch and Mike, they had a load of little moments together and they were really cute… the main one that’s stuck with me is when Jacobi hands out the cups of water, Mike and finch are sharing a table, Mike gets the water but then shares it with finch, and there was a moment when finch really tentatively put his hand on mikes arm/shoulder when they’re talking about potentially being on the front page… it was just such a soft moment unlike most of the other who would do the same things but with much more gusto and enthusiastic weight… I just found it really sweet… mikes another one I’ve never really paid much attention to so have never really had any reference as to his character personality - but I see now that he’s one of the more guarded ones, wary of causing too much of a stir, keeps to the back but always listening… he actually goes really well with jittery mr. finch

Jack and Katherine kiss and all the newsies catch on… splasher: it’s about time

The delanceys give Jack a beating back stage before pushing him towards the paper press

Still more to come…

PART ONE | PART TWO

[nightguide]

Esoteric title authors note: philosopher historian (west end rights)

okay, you know everything from the reptilians emerging to 9/11 ruining the lives of a repeated calamity of the happening of the know how, now you know 'too much' and ready to emerge into a vision of somebody elses dreams for free.

you're made of everything versatile but you yet to see it = see the signs of a baby in hell

you see now = what could you have done

that one person who does not know = what does she deserve

astrology beats facts = who else changes per 1 persons life per one persons death (who actually matters)

time to go = who objects against your order (evil now found)

punishments obtained = healing is anger turned into heartbreak, who dies in your life in seconds

what the mother wants = who does not deserve to continue their bloodline otherwise (narcissistic empath)

timeline is broken because of a spoiled arrogant man = who is actually right to continue you after you're gone

is healthcare actually necessary or are we all evil by something = tell me off for.....

degraded students in TV shows are now real life cases = time management is now considered common sense, who else quits your job to beat you by breathing

you did this to yourself in the end. nobody will succeed you by bleeding or woe is to that cheesy character has been on the right by eliminating the consequences made on the pages as a screenwriter so make them live their worst fate on live TV realities no matter what til you succeed them in moral honour, now is your death date so what changes and who goes to hell by honour. you decide

the ugliest historian is the one who always win, so make that clear

Esoteric title authors note: philosopher historian (broadway rights)

you did it now make Rachel Berry pay to exist

she made you go through hell to be with Harper St. James in real life (the missing reason) = why did you actually trust Schue?

Berry made it all about her and made Schue trust her too damn sexually for her own good = vocal adrenaline beat you in regionals because of Berry's pre-menstrual conquest to belittle everybody's opinion on music motive (Harper's backbone to watch Glee before knowing who Michele is to her in real life in actual realisation)

Jane Lynch paralysed of hope = Principal Figgins is fired from his job for not settling the score with the same guy who had a restraining order from Josh Groban (he would have made virtual reality happen with the Glee cast much sooner than if he let the Glee cast happen knowing Sue's motives to run Cheerio's by managing the school at once by setting back a literal rapist in the midst (hence Quinn's pregnancy fallout)

Finn Hudson's death stabilised = Cory Monteith actually dropped out to prove evidence of the world as a self taught lawyer in practice alongside Harper's roots of fame being the same in honesty than being a pick me (Berry in actual reality)

Sam Evans getting back at McKinley by forgetting the words on every single acapella band to get back at Santana for not living her greatest expectation by sabotaging Berry for the viewer's profits (Berry getting beaten up in real time makes Figgins carry on til he actually resigns reason to Sue literally effect in McKinley's status as a competing country for tourist value (more students competing for American and Indian value: Figgin's actually contributing)

Schue is literally getting away from cheating on every single woman he sees for 'Harper's value in return' (psychological trauma on the viewer's world profit so that is Harper not actually knowing the cast being there for her the entire time on behalf of her story being told on Glee as a character of her own world to be as an esoteric researcher now scientist) = my blog actually getting famed for TV theory/astrological discovery/ creativity in healthcare and more (researchers getting billed for their work on tv which is what Mindhunter: Glee is all about)

the Filipino girl is actually right = the cast getting sold for profit in programs elsewhere to make sure Berry does not succeed after hours of the shows reawakening

Sue Sylvesters fictional meta-verse being canon on Glee as the reason = animators getting pissed at Schue for denoting worldly value on the viewer's experience except for the one and only mole that never succeeded to jump elsewhere (Jesse St. James as Rogue on Doctor Who being prevalent in the shows course to re-run Jesse (now Rogue) to provide enough evidence to why San Diego -the biggest plot hole to exist in Glee's turn in on how Berry worked against Harper due to addiction of a mystery choice she did not take fault to which is how and why Gravity Falls (tv show) made her up by detailing her grandest mistake to the round table's honour)

Harper St. James being Robin Hood by honour and not regret is her natural storyline in Mindhunter: Glee being made for every viewer than a single bodied mind cell working for Lea's gay dad regime (pity the singer but petty their crime for being better than you in every single way that you fell ill to it by misandry than heartbreak) = Bridgit Mendler is now known to be a scientist is now exploring the world of Gravity Falls being her centre of thought being connected to CN (tawog) in ape to man theory being finalised in toon american fiction which is a Mary Shelley move (now owns rights to Mindhunter: Glee as Warner Brother's representative in NASA to MiT as hidden figures (basically she now works in the world of numbers to american socialites wanting to learn how to be good at people pleasing)

astronomy is legal in all 50 states in the US welcoming universities writing your name on a catalogue of American socialites succeeding elsewhere (so like, they believe in Ridley Scott's theories to the core of a Muslim American candidate in the OS (Orange South) which is like a hand that got cut off from believing by a genius with no hate in their eyes to protect you from taking you to a government thought dream that you're not allowed to intervene in as part of Ellen Ripley's daydream) so it's movie theory physics going to space net for explorers to break into an apple software to run on their way of thinking like you (animation physics going rogue) (so that actually means we can talk to the aliens by thought paths of animation physics if you're obsessed with how animation logic work in return by theory, so it's their whys you're answering which is how you exist in an animated universe compared to you) = Schuester getting banned from all 50 states due to their chosen animated world become them is how Ellen Ripley greeted Harper St. James first of anyone to dream bigger in meta-thought thinking from the 5th Doctor (his daughter is the 88th Doctor prime) giving leeway for animators to inspire level headed controversy in Doctor Who enabling free speech for actors rights going rogue (hence broadway and west end paradox ends with the Alien franchise)

this is Earth's sister universe in thought. (DC)

Earth itself is a galaxy of thought (MARVEL)

the universal blanket of thought (mirror of belief)

Eridanus and Adromeda are now sister universes that have no reason to live except a meta-fan fiction of the same person they hate in comparison of legacy in a shoebox (Rachel Berry) so in all it's entirety of Ellen making no sense in her theory of rhetorics not being underhanded to the girl who slept with everybody but her actual sister to get it her way than to theorize Schue in believing in scientology in making Harper do everything for her known to her that Jesse had it bad for her since childhood (Glee cast were with to the very day Harper had a reawakening) so Ellen Ripley had thought of nothing but sucker punching the odds of abnormality of being the lead of NASA for one reason. Earth is not a sphere

which makes Sue the moon reason of epileptic continuum (the figure 8)

and Ellen being a fan of the Beatles which is now found in the devil's chord episode of Doctor Who (15th Doctor)

[ginevrastilinski-ocs]

Okay now I have to ask, glee crossovers 👀👀

Okay okay I was waiting for this!! I will not give you the lists bc it would take ages (it would just be everyone with everyone lol) so I will give you the "most vibes".

Nate already have so much sisters and he definitely needs more but, just saying, him and Cole would be great boyfriends 👀 (we already talked about this? I really can't remember lol) Also, about sisters... Demi, Dolly & Barbie, Jaci, Kendall, Lilibeth, Perrie, Sandy, Satine, Savannah, Zoe... Carla!! Oh! And Nate would be the best big brother for Jeremy 🥺

Coming Of Age and SOWK crossover 👀 Like, Christine and Aurora, Garreth (& Ellie ovb) and Josh (they would be the best parents to all the kids lmao) Christine and Carla would also get along great ngl (They're the sweetest, they deserve the world and they would hate Rachel Berry together lol)

Also Chrissy (she is Blaine's bestie so her and Aurora would be so close I just know it) and Cosette, Cosette especially with all the older main group (Roman, Amelie, Ash...)

For Ronnie and the girls, I need to go with Betty & the boys bc yes. But also more specifically for Ronnie, Toni, no vibes at all, just the st content lmao.

All the Berry/Corcoran crossover obviously, but more specifically: Linda & Barbie & Dolly Jake & Jo Jake & Sadie Dorothy & Sadie Dorothy & Leonard Linda & Oz Dorothy & Oz (Also Toni but Idk her vibes rip)

Benjamin and Carla are ofc the best babies, I love them so much and they're my everything. But! Savannah bc she's her older sister and we need to talk about this way more, Jeremy bc they're the babies of the group and Kath and Oz for no reason at all just vibes.

Jean and Betty, half bc of the Sabrina&Olivia vibes, half bc they would totally understand each other for the "shitty boyfriends and shitty parents" situation.

Connie with Betty and the Band for obvious reasons, but also they would just be so cute, they're like, the sweetest.

Lia and Charlie bc the best cousins that are actually sister bc they were raised together (Also any Schuester crossover but Lia and Charlie would be everything)

Mack and Kendall for the sibiling vibe, just like Dahlia and Jaci (they're both Mercedes' cousins so... sisters?) and Luka and Betty.

Maya and Hillary just for the Euphoria sources ngl.

Also more generally, any combo of the Schuester / St.James / Sylvester would be the best.

Anyone, LITERALLY ANYONE, with Colton and Cece bc they're my weakness, I can't choose, I love them too much.

[hopefullyitsextensivebule]

Danny & the Kiszka Gods AU:

Josh, Jake and Sam are deities from another plane of existence, and while they know everything when it comes to the stars and the galaxy, they don’t know shit about humans and human life.

Josh is constantly observing and questioning human interactions and relationships, and even trying to have some of his own, but it ends up with him being by himself because people just don’t

Sam is instantly in love with the Earth: he left the trees, the grass, the creatures that live on the planet, and even has his own terrarium that he manifest and conjures up in his room.

Jake is often listening to all forms of music and dialect, deeply immersing himself in the musical arts.

And all three of them, gather their information and share it amongst one another in hopes of learning everything about humans.

When they experience death, they realize how short human life is, everyone deserves to live their life to the fullest

^^Josh takes heed of this and tries to cherish every single moment in his state of being as much as possible.

I know in an interview Josh states that he does not care for types and that it’s really more about the energy: So imagine him having a kindred spirit with someone in this AU. he experienced love and lost, and he cherish every single moment

Jake also experienced love, but it’s monogamous and with one person. He doesn’t know how to express love because deities don’t feel love from where they’re from. But with this particular individual, he feels like ‘his heart will come out of his chest’.

Danny has explained to him that what he is experiencing his love, and that Jake explores it more but in his own time.

Sam abducts a dog: it was an abused pitbull that was chained up and emaciated. Her name is Violet.

Daniel sees just how attached Sam gets when the pup is with him. He washes her beats her, even makes a shrine for her and blesses it with everlasting life so she literally can’t die. 

[powertwell]

OHHH WOWW with this season!!!😭🤩❤️❤️ Okay guys so this is going to be very long but I need to get this out hahah.

I´ve been busy with work this weeks and I finally binge watched S4

My thoughts on this season are a lot, it was LITERALLY a freaking rollercoaster of emotions, so much laughs, surprise, nostalgia, pureness, love, angst, sadness but above all LOVE!! Love in all ways, all of them really... This is something that resonates with me when I process everything that happened.

It was just too muchh, and actually I feel sorry for my anger towards Tim on the fact that he broke up Portwell and not just that, like the way it happened. I need to say and IT´S FAIR to do it, that he made an amazing job with all of the writing, RESPECT SIR. I know he isn´t perfect, he screwed up sometimes but who doesn´t? I think he nailed it with the writing, he dropped so much bombs in the most clever way and made everything make sense with Rina!

I´m a Portwell and will always love and remember my ship for who THEY WERE while dealing with what they dealt, and for the connection and support they had for one another! They were different people, specially EJ who was trying to be strong and be the best boyfriend he possibly could. But I truly recognize the development and growth Ricky and Gina had, both together grew on me and have a pice of my heart. Ricky made a quantum leap in maturity and in his emotional stability and made me proud for all he did for his girl, so as Gina. I understood her better and made myself remember the queen she is. Now, finally i can say RINA DESERVES EACHOTHER. God they´re adorable and JOSH AND SOFIA almost killed me with their perfect acting. So much talent and love in this cast, I love them.

Anyways this was A LOT and I could´ve said more about the other characters but speaking in general this season is so much worth to watch, it´s beautiful and REALISTIC! I love Olivia and all but I didn´t miss her, my point is that the season was so awesome that I didn´t actually care she wasn´t on the finale. I´m gonna miss my favorite series but I´m in peace and proud of everyone in this show!! This show is special in many ways and everyone should see it and understand the message of inclusion, love and acceptance, as well as the importance of having a safe space with people who love and understand you. THANKS TIM FEDERLE, THANKS TO EVERY SINGLE CAST MEMBER who left something in our hearts from their character! HSMTMTS has to live on for next generations!❤️❤️❤️👏👏👏

[zalrb]

the summer i turned pretty 1x05 review -- if i can't have conrad there's always jere

Belly, I'm sure they gave you a schedule. You knew there was going to be dancing.

Also details like Belly is seemingly fine with Nicole stepping in to be her dance partner during rehearsal but she should feel if not guilty then at least awkward around her so she almost kissed Conrad.

This is why Taylor says that you're self-absorbed and don't care about anyone else, Belly.

Also, it's wild to me that your best friend will have that conversation with you and then you proceed to make a woman's funeral about yourself. Where is the self-reflection?

Like you were all "omg what am I going to text Conrad, what emoji should I put with my text" and you're just ... dancing with Nicole?

And anons want to ask why we hate Belly when we've liked messy teens before? SERENA HAD MORE SHAME. SERENA. And Serena had moments, man, where it was just like, I don't know why you're mad at Blair, you slept with her boyfriend.

"Does Jere take anything seriously?" "Yeah, food and flirting" SOUND JEALOUS, STEVEN

Every time Jeremiah is supposed to be extroverted and fun-loving and charming, I'm just like

Conrad, you MUST know that Nicole would be where Belly is since she was a deb and you took her to the deb ball last summer.

I also like the blatant advertisement for Alexa.

You two are terrible. NICOLE IS RIGHT THERE.

Then Conrad texting Belly and Belly grinning with Nicole right there?

"You think I was just a petty fuck." "You're hotter than he is." She's not wrong. All of these pretty Black women/women of colour (and girls) and these basic to ugly white men (and boys) on TV. It needs to be stopped.

"If Shayla called you right now" -- jealous boyfriends.

Nicole is the one who's being played hot and cold.

Jeremiah telling her to bring him to a Frank Ocean concert knowing that he likes Belly is not fair to her, like in terms of the drama that would cause with Conrad and Belly, I don't care because they're both being terrible but Nicole does not deserve this.

"I mean we grew up together so I always thought of her as this little kid but now ... she's not." a) that sounds way creepier than intended like some Jacob and Renesmee shit b) they honestly should've done more to indicate that he's really seeing her now. Like I obviously know he's supposed to because of all the dialogue around how she's pretty now from everyone else and "omg Belly you look SO hot" in a simple, cutesy floral tank top but I mean if it's going to be Annie and Jeff then be Annie and Jeff.

Of course Annie and Jeff actually had tension

At least be Josh and Cher

COME ON, MAN.

"I'm bummed but I'll be fine" because Belly is terrible.

Cam does not deserve the lyrics to this song he was nothing but NICE to Belly if anything this song should be playing with Cam walking away.

I just find it super lazy to rely on portraying the munchies to show how high they're supposed to be.

Is Jere supposed to be Puck or something?

Lol when your mom puts you in the friendzone with your crush.

"Well I'm sure you got a perfect score" *laughs* oh we're doing racism in this episode. And it was actually done well. Just not when it's antiblackness which isn't surprising

"How come no one ever wants to play with me?" she booped you on the nose bro.

ok finally. something that is ACTUALLY hot and cold. "i'm not waiting for you anymore" does he know she'd been waiting for him?

Also not waiting for him shouldn't then mean making out with Jere.

"What happened to the boy I loved since I was ten" well Belly either he always knew you liked him and ignored it because he didn't see you the same way even when he was idk nicer I guess or he was clueless that you liked him but either way you never had his affection before this.

Also I like how in season 2 Jere was all I USED TO LOOK UP TO YOU EVERYONE ALWAYS THOUGHT YOU WERE BETTER THAN ME IN EVERYTHING and there is literally nothing to suggest any of those dynamics this season.

I can't fuck things up with Belly and treat her like shit but you know who I can do that to? Nicole.

Well if I can't get attention from one brother then I can from the other. "Susannah said when I was born she knew I was destined for one of her boys. I always thought it'd be Conrad" but Jere's the one in front of me so. You didn't think about him at ALL Belly.

It's funny actually watching the pool kiss because it's actually quite short and tame.