#joseph christansen

[multi-lia]

If it's not too much trouble, could I request date night headcanons with the lovely Mr. Damien Bloodmarch?

You wouldn’t believe how much I slept on Damien’s character when DDADDS first came out, but now I’m giving him the appreciation he needs!

Gender Neutral

Date Night HC w/Damien Bloodmarch

~ I mean have you seen Damien’s dadbook profile

~“It's night. We are at an industrial darkwave club in Berlin. The music drums to the beat of our hearts.”

~But seriously, he actually doesn’t mind a more simple date night with you

~If you don’t currently live with him, then he loves to invite you over to his house for a date night

~In this case, you could have it in variety of places within his home (I mean have you seen his house)

~Damien prefers to have dates in his library

~His library brings both of you comfort. He loves to hold you and read your favorite book to you.

~If you do it for him, he’ll lay his head in your lap and purr if play with his hair

~Just play with his hair, it feels so good for him and it makes him feel great to be complimented on his hair

~“Damien, you must tell me your secrets, how do you make it shine like this? And it’s so incredibly smooth...”

~“I’d have to kill you if I were to tell you the secrets of my hair.”

~“Death is nothing to fear, if I can go to my grave having soft, silky hair like yours.”

~“You got me there.”

~He also likes dates in his garden if the weather is a little warmer

~Sipping on some tea and listening to slow music

~You’re going to find yourself dancing with Damien, his arm draped around your lower waist with your body pressed against his.

~Surprisingly really good at the waltz and swing dancing

~If you’re not too good at it, he’ll be happy to assist you in getting better at it

~“You’re footwork is... not very desirable, but that’s why I’m here to help.”

~“Way to ruin the moment, Damien.”

~“My love, I’m only being honest. If it makes you feel better your spin turns are beautifully graceful.”

~Also, you will make flower crowns for each other which brings another opportunity to play in his hair

~He loves his hair being braided, add in some flowers, and you got yourself a formula for the cutest goth dad you’ve ever seen

~Damien also thinks you look rather dashing with a flower crown

~“You look breathtaking, My Dear y/n.”

~On the chance that you do live with Damien, you’ll both probably want to get out

~Not saying that dates in the house are offlimits now, but he’s more likely wanting to take you out

~Damien will take you out to the fanciest restaurant he can find that still serves... “meals”

~I’m not sure if y’all have ever been to a fancy ass restaurant, but I swear some of them have very tiny portions of food like... what am I supposed to do with this ?

~Don’t even bother looking at the check, he will not allow you to pay for the meal. Ever.

~You may be able to tip, but he doesn’t really want you to pay for a thing.

~For him this was something that he’s doing for you to show how special you are to him.

~If it really does bother you, he’ll allow you to go half with him, but that’s it

~After a date, Damien loves to take long strolls through the town and hopefully to the cemetery

~It makes sense if you’re a little hesitant at first to walk through a cemetery, but he’ll assure you you’ll be fine

~He’ll hold onto your hand if that makes you feel any better

~It ends up being more romantic than you might’ve thought so

~If you get cold he’ll wrap his cape cloak around you and make sure to hold onto you a little tighter to ensure that you stay warm

~Damien loves making poems for you and reading them to you during these late night strolls

~“My dearest of love, you are to me what peanut butter is to jelly.”

~I didn’t say the poems were good btw...

~But they still make you smile no matter how cheesy they can be

~That’s really all Damien cares about, is making sure you’re the happiest you could ever be with him

~Last but not least, ending the night with a deep, passionate kiss

~Possibly it could lead to more exciting adventures in the bedroom, but that’s to be told another time...

That’s all I have folks

I really hope you enjoyed it and thank you for the request. I feel like I’m not the best at writing Damien, but I still hope this was satisfactory.

Requests are open ✨🌈

~Lia’s Work

[the-squirrel-queen]

‪Inktober day 9. A Dream Daddy character + drunk‬

Please don’t repost (reblogs are appreciated)

Dm me, I do commissions

[imagine-the-ddadds]

The dads react to Dadsona bringing home a box of mewling kittens.

Craig: A whole lot of sneezing. Turns out Craig has quite the allergy to cats. Sure, they may be adorable but unfortunately they aren’t going to be fully compatible without some medications. 

Brian: In all honesty he isn’t the biggest fan of cats. They just aren’t compatible and the universe hasn’t allowed it yet. If Brian and a cat ever got along, y’all might need to check what universe you’re in. 

Damien: Did someone say cats? Damien loves all kinds of animals and cats happen to be one of them. He’d be all over the kittens and would help care for the little kitties whenever he could. He just can’t resist them!

Hugo: Hugo would be in love with how cute they are. Duchess Cordelia might not agree at first but she would warm up to them. Dadsona would probably catch Hugo being smothered with kittens on the floor. 

Mat: You have no idea how hyped Mat gets over baby animals. He’d be fawning over them and Dadsona would really have to do something to actually get Mat’s attention. Mat would experiment with baking homemade cat treats that he could sell at his coffee shop like gifts for pet owners.

Robert: He wouldn’t really know how to react at first. He’d just see their big eyes and he’d stare at them for a while. Robert would eventually end up snuggling with one on the couch and would see if Dadsona would let him keep one.

Joseph: Joseph has mild cat allergies but since they’re so cute he’d push through all those sniffles and watery eyes. All in the name of giving those little kitties some much deserved attention. 

[gearbroth]

It burns

[lifespent-blog1]

Joseph: Robert, sex before marriage is a sin.

Robert: What? No. That's like saying masturbation is a sin.

Joseph:

Joseph: Boy, have I got some bad news for you.

[estephina]

(public) instagram: joseph christiansen

[redemptions]

mary has post-partum depression after the birth of chrish. touching her child makes her skin crawl and she hates that’s true. joseph keeps leaving chrish with her, thinking that forced exposure will help her get over things but it only makes things worse.

mary hates that child but hates herself more because she wants to love his little boy more than anything. She wants to look at him and feel warmth and love rather than cold rage and revulsion. joseph doesn’t seem to understand - he expects her to be okay and she isn’t. she can’t be.

but sometimes, when joseph is gone, and its just her and the baby - chrish reacts out with little chubby hands and calls for her: “ma, ma, ma, ma” 

and mary will ignore the disgust and the uncomfortableness she feels to to pull her youngest close and feel his weight there, because she does love him. she does. its just hard sometimes.

[introvertsguild]

Dream Daddy..

suddenly it’s like every woman on the planet forgot that there are more dating sims where you can play as a woman and date men. Dream Daddy is intended for people who enjoy seeing fathers and daughters have bonding moments, share their flaws, help one another make up and help the dads around you become better people.

If you’re thinking of becoming a parent, play this game. (The evil end has nothing to do with being a parent but still play the game).

[multi-lia]

Yaaay! Someone else who does Ddadds headcanons! Could i get some for Hugo or Damian please??

Yay! I’m not sure how many other blogs are out there writing content for this game, but I’m happy to assist

I decided to only do Hugo because of the bad case of the flu I have caught, but I’m also very excited to write for him. Thank you for requesting him and if you’d like me to do Damien headcanon, I’d love to do it!

Hugo Relationship HC

Gender Neutral

~BIG.TIME.ART.NERD

~Not only for the history, but for the art itself

~Will take you to all the art galleries/museums in the area

~If he happens to take you to an art gallery, you need to help control his urges because he wants to buy it all

~He’ll still end up taking home at least two pieces of fine art and they look nice, but hugo baby your wallet

~He has the habit of pulling you to every art piece he finds appealing (which is damn near all of them), but he’ll allow you the time to admire the art pieces by yourself if you’d like

~He can take really outstanding aesthetic selfies in art museums

~I live in NorCal and if you’re ever in the SF area hit up the Museum of Ice Cream, it’s great for taking pictures for insta anyways...

~Hugo will love it if you’re into wrestling, he won’t stop loving you if you’re not, but it’s an added bonus for him

~If you can find any rare wrestling artifacts and gift them to him, he’d be beyond appreciative and excited

~The big, goofy smile that spread across his face as he carefully places it in his wrestling room is the most adorable thing in the world.

~He will love to wrestle with you, clothes or no clothes 😏

~Hugo owns like so much tea

~He’s got it all: black tea, green tea, chai, white tea, oolong tea, earl grey tea, matcha, hibiscus, chamomile, lemongrass... huff yeah the man has an obsession

~Seriously doesn’t know what to do with all of it and will need your help finishing some of the tea he’s collected over the years

~So, expect many nights where he’ll brew you both some tea and read some exceptional books together

~You guys will usually lay in bed during this time, but you may also be in the living room

~Godspeed my friend for trying to get along with Ernest (sadly why does Ernest remind me of myself when I was like an edgy 14 yr old Y I K E S)

~Actually Ernest is more is easy to get along with, that is if you’re more on the chill side

~Don’t try to be another ‘Hugo’ when it comes to trying to parent Ernest: just let the relationship grow naturally and Ernest will come around eventually

~When you, Hugo and Ernest are able to bond all together it will make Hugo’s day!

~He’ll damn near cry at the sight of Ernest having fun with you

~These times are often shared at arcades, an amusement park, movies, or in the comfort of your home

~Hugo loves to book those couple activities to do with you

~Y’know the couple cooking class, couple dancing class, couple painting class... things of those nature are so fun for you both

~Not only are you guys learning something new, you guys are learning it together and enjoying each other’s company

~Especially enjoys the couple painting class and will gladly help you if you’re having trouble

~Hugo will make sure to get some alone time with you and this alone time is always accompanied by great wine and music

~It’s a romantic night filled with laughs, dancing, full bellies and pure happiness

~Hugo’s eyes convey the most sensual, heated love for you

~You’d have no doubts about how much he was infatuated with you

~He’d spin you around and whisper all the literature quotes he knew that conveyed heartfelt love, throwing in his own quotes that he’s written especially for you

~ “Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.”

~““The minute I heard my first love story, I started looking for you.”

~ “I want to do with you what spring does with the cherry trees.”

~“I want to show you how to blossom

And I want you to show me how to grow

Our souls will become one

And our love will be planted

For others to admire, but most importantly for us to remember.”

~You both will then usually be entranced by the night, your body against his and the heat of the alcohol affecting him

~Sweet nothings in your ear that make your knees feel weak

~These nights weren’t a daily thing, but every time they came, it was better than the last

~Hugo showed you great care and respect. He was deeply in love with you and wanted to bring you with him for all the journeys to come.

That’s all I have. Thank you so much for your request and I again apologize to those who have been waiting on requests.

Quotes: 1. Aristotle

2. Jalaluddin Rumi

3. Pable Neruda

and the last one was written by yours truly!

Requests are temporarily closed 💫🚨

~Lia’s Work

[ablecosplaypro]

What is up, Young People??

[imagine-the-ddadds]

The DDADDS in Highschool

Craig: Probably flirted with literally everyone including the teachers. Had beef with the baseball coach, though he was a phenomenal shortstop.

Brian: Student council member, competitive in academics and a total teacher’s pet. Was on the bowling team and probably destroyed the competition. 

Damien: Was totally a band geek and played the clarinet. Got stuffed in a trashcan twice. His baby bat emergence started his freshman year. Wore fishnets under ripped jeans before it was cool.  

Hugo: Always showed up to club meetings. Somehow was able to grow a full mustache by the end of sophomore year. Joined the wrestling team but broke his arm halfway through the season. Also got stuffed in a trashcan. 

Mat: Also a band geek, played some funky sax. Was in a lot of art classes and took photos for the yearbook. Was never really bothered by anyone but he was just as shy as he is currently. 

Robert: We don’t talk about high school. He actually did surprisingly well in school in part to his upbringing at home. Despite that he was still a bit of a trouble maker at least outside of school and swooned many with his traditional bad boy looks.  

Joseph: Jock with a good reputation. Wasn’t as religious as he is now and he hot boxed the locker room once and got away with it. Earned the nickname Kush Christiansen cause he rolled the best blunts.

[imoutofpracticeyall]

The saddest part of the update was that none of the Christiansen kids were invited to the princess tea party 

Let them have friends :’(

[saimotastars]

craig’s contact names

joseph: holy bro

robert: superstitious bro

damien: goth bro

mat: espressBRO

hugo: mr. bro

brian: bear bro

mary: lady bro

[yagii]

joseph, in a pair of heelys, sliding into the church basement two minutes before his youth group starts: what's hangin', broskis? are y'all ready to get down with the word of the lord?