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bradshawwannebe · 4 years ago

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Coffee and baby bunnies

Bucky Barnes x fem!englishteacher!Reader

It’s weird when you have a best friend that suddenly doesn’t seem like a best friend. One look at him and you notice just how much you love him. Do you act on these feelings or should you just keep them to yourself?

Warnings: fluff and a mean little cat (based off of my own cat)

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Waking up one morning and deciding that going to a coffee shop was good, it was a great idea. Right up until you stubbed your toe and thought you broke the nail on your pinky toe, again. Then you remembered you have an English class to teach at the local High School, and luckily your class doesn’t start until 7:00. Quickly glancing at the clock and it reading 6:30 caused you to get your butt into gear, slipping on some skinny jeans and a nice loose fitting black shirt you decided to slip on pointed toe red flats and doing some simple makeup as quickly as possible. Looking back at the clock and seeing that 10 minutes had passed you sighed ‘That’s a record’ you grabbed the daily necessities and your keys to go to the nearest open coffee shop available. Right after you fed and pet the little furball of a cat you called Pattie May wishing her a good day and asked her not to mess with pillows and plants too much, or at all.

It took all of ten minutes to see that your favorite cafe was open and grabbing your coffee and a croissant until you met a rock hard chest but thankfully saving the coffee. “I’m so sorry I wasn’t looking where I was going, are you okay?” A low, deep chuckle is what you heard in response your fussing, out of humiliation your eye were facing the red shoes on your feet but the chuckle you heard irritated you, causing you to look up at the person to reprimand them for laughing at you, but when you saw who it was that fire quickly died and the blood spread across your face in an instant.

“It's a fine, doll, don’t worry about me, are you ok?” the man, er well The Winter Soldier, responded.

Your breath got caught in your throat and your heart skipped a beat at the sudden realization and words failed you, ‘So much for becoming an English teacher’. And with that you nodded with a, “Yes, I’m ok, uh thank you for asking Mr. Soldier… er uh Barnes, Uh I-I mean-” you were cut off before you could embarrass yourself any further, if that was possible.

“Bucky, my name’s Bucky,” jeez, what a voice.

“Bucky,” you breathed, testing the name out on your lips, and loving the way it felt,” right, sorry. Thank you, Bucky for asking and sorry for running into you but I really have to get going.”

“What’s your name?” he rushed out before you could turn away.

Telling Bucky your name, you walked out before you said something you’d regret.

And once at the school and in the security of your classroom, Levi, a freshman asked why you were so red and you blamed the coffee.

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Since that day around a week ago, you’ve met at the same shop as often as possible, waking up earlier, getting dressed faster just to see Bucky. However today, numbers were exchanged and not even before you left the shop, you got a message from an unknown number, why numbers weren’t exchanged before was beyond your knowledge.

“Hey, it’s Bucky.”

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It’s been a month and yours and Bucky's friendship has blossomed, still a friendship but he has successfully been upgraded to ‘best friend’ seeing as you only have two other people that you talk to that aren’t students or work colleagues,and personally are your friends. “Hello, Earth to Y/N, are you still there?” the metal hand of Bucky Barnes waved in your face to get your attention. “Are you okay? You seem out of it.” His concern warmed your heart and you fought off a blush and grin from appearing on your face. “Yeah, Buck, I’m fine, what were you saying?”

He eyed you a bit before answering, “I was asking how your class is.” Oh.

“It’s going okay, I stopped a few kids on the football team from snorting Smarties before anyone could do much damage,” you supplied the man. Explaining how snorting the candy worked when he gave you a confused expression. “Big dummy heads, the lot of them.”

“Isn’t calling students ‘dummy heads’ considered bullying?” he teased while sitting on a nearby bench in Central Park. you fixed him with a glare that didn’t last long before you decided that it was getting late and your bed was calling your name.

“Actually, no, I wasn’t talking about them, per say,” you defended yourself, standing up and throwing the empty cappuccino cup in your hand in the nearby trash bin, “but it is getting late and I should most definitely be getting back to my apartment and grade some papers. See ya.”

You didn’t notice that he had already stood up and he grabbed your wrist before you could move too far away. “I know you’re walking home and it’s New York and it’s a big city, so I could walk you home.”

You glanced at your watch quickly before making a decision. “Ya know, yeah, why not? Plus, now you could meet Pattie May. Well Gabby and I call her May, but Jordyn just calls her cat. She’s a bit of a b-,” you said without taking a breath before realization dawned on you that you were rambling. A thing you did when you were excited or nervous. You went to state your realization before you were cut off. “You’re rambling again, doll.”

“Whoops, sorry,” you stated with a slight shrug and a sheepish smile walking ahead to hide the inevitable yet traitorous blush on your face. You felt his presence as he sidled up beside you. The cool, autumn air couldn’t extinguish the fact that the man standing next to you could very well be a heater in disguise as you felt his warmth radiating off of him. Walking the trail out of Central Park you spotted the small bunny that sat off to the side of the trail. “Bucky, look, it’s a baby bunny!” you couldn’t contain your excitement. Spotting the small animal was probably one the most exciting things you did as a teenager, the excitement of seeing them never leaving you, even as a fully grown adult.

“It’s so tiny and adorable. Hey, do you think we touch him or her? I don’t know it’s gender but it’s cute.” The logic of stating your desire hit you and you suddenly felt like the dumbest person ever. Especially when the bunny saw you and took off out of fear. “Actually nevermind.” You didn’t miss the look of fondness on his face, the smile he gave you was like an award.

“Hey, you ok? You just kinda stopped talking,” you were actually slightly worried. And as if sensing your concern, or well simply answering you, he looks away.

“Yeah, the rabbit was just cute. So, my question is why I have never been to your apartment in the first place. You’ve been to mine countless times for movie night but I’ve never been to yours.”

Shrugging you answered. “Now that I think about it, I don’t really know. Well then in that case, why don’t we have a movie night Friday? We could order pizza and find a movie on Netflix or something.” It's not the first time you’ve had a movie night with Bucky so it’s nothing unusual about the event. However, to say that you didn’t feel attracted to the man beside you would be a lie and to say that you didn’t have a small, but slightly large crush on him would be an even bigger lie.

“Yeah, is around 7 okay?” he asked already knowing that answer would be yes, and with a nod of your head you confirmed it, and the rest of the walk to your apartment was silent.

When you reached your apartment you convinced him to come in even if it was only for a second. Sliding off your shoes at the door in order to not track dirt or mud into the apartment, and asking Bucky to do the same. Doing as you asked he set his boots on the floor by the door. “Hey, so where’s that cat you were talking about? I want to meet her,” he spoke genuinely curious about the cat, and excusing yourself you went to go find her.

Bucky watched you walk out of the room stunned with the slightly messy papers on the table and the small bushy kitten on the couch that was glaring at him. He walked over to the flowers and various succulent plants that were resting by a bookcase of small knick knacks and books that scream the little perks of personality you left in the apartment, and he couldn’t help but notice some of the bears that graced a few of the shelves around your home and the bit of succulents that were on the ground, with little bite marks in the small chunks. Then, suddenly there was a loud ‘bang’ drawing him out of his train of thought. “You alright, doll?” he wasn’t too worried, he could tell you were clumsy just by the continuous meetings at his favorite coffee shop and the movie nights at his apartment.

“I’m ok, don’t worry! Is May out there? I can’t find her in here.” he chuckled at your statement, assuming you stubbed your toe and a small thump followed with a string of curses.

“Yeah, she’s in here so try not to kill yourself coming out.” and with that he walked over to the small kitten that suddenly started standing up and purring at him.

“Well, aren’t you a cutie?” he asked the fluff ball, reaching his hand out to pet her. Unfortunately for him he reached out his flesh hand, and the small kitten had already rolled onto her back attacking the supposedly offending hand.

“Ow, you little-” he was cut off when you walked into the living room and scolded the cat and carrying a squirt gun in your right hand.

“May! You know better, stop biting people that only want to show you affection,” he couldn’t help but think how domestic the situation was, the small cat no longer gnawing on his fingers but instead hugging his hand,”I’m sorry about her. She’s only a few months old and extremely playful. It doesn’t mean she hates you, I promise.”

“She's cute so I think she can get away with it,” he teased with a small smile, and you smiled back. You stayed like that until the death ball meowed at you and decided to use your leg as a scratch post.

“OW, you little brat! Fine, I’ll get your food just be nice, jeez,” excusing yourself you walked into the kitchen and opened the fridge. As soon as May heard the refrigerator open she was gone, followed by persistent squeaks that could only be described as demanding from the cat.

“I know, I know, but you have dry food so why do you want this so bad? Oh well. Here you go, hun, eat up.” and almost as if the kitten was thanking you the meows ended with another squeak.

“Sorry, I give her some wet food in the morning and at night and she is very vocal and demanding about it, but even then she's kind of polite,” you explained, turning around in your kitchen only to be met with a hard chest.

“Oof,sorry… again,” you said sheepishly, taking a few steps back. Bucky didn’t say anything except a follow up apology.

“You apologize too much.”

“Yeah, well… so do you, you giant,” you teased back.

“Well, you’re cute when you talk to animals.”

“Well, you’re cute when you think I don’t know when you're staring,” the playful banter suddenly turned into a confession of feelings within seconds, ‘wow, I really just said that.’

“Well, your glasses make you look cuter than when you wear your contacts.”

“Yeah? Well, I like you… a lot.”

“I bet I like you a lot more, sugar.”

“Not possible, soldier,” you sassed taking one step towards him.

Taking one step closer you became chest to chest.

“I’m about to kiss you,” You whispered.

He smirked at that, “Not if I kiss you first,” and you he did. His lips felt so much better than in your dreams. Your arms snuck their way around his neck while his arms rested on your waist. However do to this pesky little thing called oxygen you had to pull away, even though you really didn’t want to.

“MEOW!”

Looking down you both chuckled at the small furry kitten demanding something from, what that is you aren’t exactly sure. Bucky leaned down for another chaste kiss,” You think we could make Friday more of a date? I could pick you up at the same time and everything”

You nodded, agreeing with him and the time.

“Goodnight, doll, don’t stay up too late grading those. You’ll be tired by tomorrow morning,” he stated putting his shoes on and walking outside you following behind him to the door.

“Goodnight, Bucky, don’t worry, I’ll save them for tomorrow.”

With one last kiss, he walked out the door, “maybe I’ll have the kids grade the papers”.

#bucky x reader #winter solider x you #this my first one please be kind #fluffy!bucky x reader #Soft!bucky #Bucky x teacher!Reader #bucky x sassy!reader #bucky barnes fanfiction #Bucky Barnes fluff

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the-resident-gay · 3 years ago

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it has been a month since i last reblogged this post and i'm back again

so yk how tumblr has that year in review thing?

well my top post is this one

and i shared this in my gc

and then she replied

AND WHEN I TELL YOU I PANICKED

so then i dmed eln and she didn't reply until the convo had switched

BUT I PANICKED

like how do you tell someone that my top post is me crushing on them?

WHY ARE GIRLS SO PRETTY

#caps tw #long post #jordyns love life #jordyn rambles about god knows what #start trek i guess #ahh i love her #also i'm trying to draw her #i started drawing her on the bus #we'll see how it goes

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jordyngellerxo · 4 years ago

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THE FIGHT.

summary: caleb & zeke get into a fight at at the charity ball event during the aspen trip. involved: zeke king, caleb walsh feat. jordyn geller, nicole hampton

** TRIGGER WARNINGS:��physical altercation, arguments, mentions of cheating, blood mentions. **

TAGGED: CALEB WALSH @calebfck, ZEKE KING @zekehq, NICOLE HAMPTON @nicolehampton

CALEB.

caleb always felt out of place at fancy parties and events. truth be told, if it weren't for jordyn, he would have gladly just donated a good amount of money and stayed home in his pajamas. the only thing that made the night tolerable was the open bar, which he had been taking advantage of from the moment he and jordyn walked through the door. he lost track of how many drinks he had about four drinks ago, but he really didn't care. he was on the verge of blacking out and was well past his limit, but he was having fun. so, he really had to thank the countless beers in his system for that. he was dancing with jordyn and laughing with her friends, which rarely happened. he was even okay with being within five feet of that zeke kid who always seemed to be getting under his skin in someway. he peered down at jordyn with a lazy smile, "this is a lot more fun than i thought it would be," he shouted over the music and the hum of conversation around them, "we need to get some food soon, or im not going to remember any of this."

NICOLE/JORDYN.

they were easily almost two hours into the event and it had been going surprisingly well. it took forever to convince caleb to come, even longer to deny his first three choices of a wardrobe, but it wasn't for not. they made it and were actually having fun. jordyn had been in her own special version of heaven. arm draped loosely around nicole with her head rested on her shoulder, devilish grin beaming towards zeke before caleb broke her attention from wordlessly poking her best friend. jordyn's brow arched quizzically and she almost had to ask him to repeat himself until nicole's voice chimed in closer to her ear, "my husband said he's having fun but hungry and you need to feed him... before he passes out like a little baby bitch." the blonde pressed a kiss to the dark haired beauty's cheek as jordyn let out a sigh. "i suppose we can find something for you to eat." she hummed, planting a kiss to caleb then offering an apologetic look to nicole whom she was forced to move to get up, "you gonna come help me find food for the big baby?" jordyn asked, holding her hand out for zeke as she batted her lashes at him.

ZEKE.

zeke wasn't the type to waste his chances for throwing back liquor and celebrating... anything deemed appropriate by the blond. mostly he enjoyed celebrating himself. did he ever foresee himself within close range distance of any kind with jordyn's fiance? not at all, especially considering he never liked to address the other man by his name, let alone breathe in the same space as him. being at a charity event of any kind wasn't the time or the place for him to get into trouble, so he kept as best a distance as he could within the time span that he'd been here. rolling his eyes as he watched her being smug and tempting him to stick his tongue out like a child. he couldn't help but snicker at the whole conversation or the fact that caleb seemed to be rather lightweight in comparison to jordyn. tossing his head back, an exaggerated sigh slipped from zeke's mouth as he debated his options. "are we getting more shots, too? cause i need more liquor in my system." even as he'd already chosen that going with his friend was a more favorable option than being in caleb's presence.

CALEB.

caleb kept his arm wrapped around jordyn's waist as he stood up, "see? this is why i love you. you don't get too mad when i need food at these ridiculously long parties," he grinned. caleb looked over at nicole and shook his head, "and you," he pointed at her, "you don't get to call me a little bitch when i know about your secret little rendezvous with you know who," he sang and gave a pointed look toward zeke before he tapped his finger on the tip of nicole's nose. he definitely should not have said that as loud as he did, but his inhibitions were long gone. looking back at jordyn he tilted his head to the side, "do you think they've got steak? or is this an hors d'oeuvres situation?"

NICOLE/JORDYN.

jordyn’s gaze shifted up to mouth an i love you to caleb, who was watching her with that drunken twinkle in his eye. her expression was full of amusement…but not surprise. caleb could do anything, but truth be told, jordyn could drink him under the table any day of the week. a trait she got from her father. "mhm, be sure to add that in your vows. that just really hits home for me, all star." the brunette hummed which made nicole chuckle. nicole, who too had been drinking since she'd arrived, was now using jordyn as cover to cuddle into to keep her out of trouble and from looking over to her ex. the sweet smile on her characteristics full of amusement for caleb's drunken ramble falling as he continued speaking. in fact, she froze, no longer protected by jordyn. she couldn't figure what he was talking about. they'd been pretty good tonight. or tried to in front of people. unless caleb wasn't talking about tonight. nikki's eyes swiftly darted up and narrowed on caleb. she couldn't even move after his drunken slur when his finger landed on her nose. the only person who knew about her only rendezvous was olivia. she couldn't see zeke spilling details of her birthday night to anyone... not after everything they'd been through, not with how he was with her... but especially not confiding their friend's fiancé. that didn't stop her heart from dropping to the pit of her stomach. "caleb, you're drunk... i think it's bedtime for you." nicole spoke, her voice sweet but with a hidden harshness in her tone after clearing her throat. jordyn's eyes flickered around the group. nikki's puzzled face, caleb's dumbstruck grin, watching as he looked to zeke. her jaw damn near hit the floor as she hushed her soon to be husband, tilting her head as her sights zeroed in on her ride or die. "so... food? shots? zeke you wanna go down a few with me? anything for anyone before i go get this big baby to bed?" jordyn asked in attempts to lighten the mood and divert attention for caleb's rambles.

ZEKE.

zeke had been focused on the prospect of alcohol, ignoring a majority of what slipped out of the other’s mouth. amber hues and his full attention zeroed in as he spoke to nicole, his entire body going ridged. the blond hadn’t told anyone about his stolen moments with nicole, let alone caleb of all people. his thoughts circled back to the one night that could be what the other male was talking about the same time he was searching nicole’s expression for reassurance that she hadn’t confided about that night to caleb. he couldn’t see it, but none of that mattered to the feelings surface within as he stood there. “maybe you should watch what the fuck you’re speakin’ on when it has nothing to do with you.” he glared at the other male, before letting his attention return to his best friend. “no, no, moments passed i wanna know what the fuck ol dude thinks he knows so much about now.”

CALEB.

caleb was drunk, but he wasn’t drunk enough to immediately know that he had fucked up. that he had fucked up in a major way, at that. he cleared his throat and stood up straight. he forgot that he was the only one that knew that he knew what had happened in jordyn’s bar. “right,” he mumbled, “i’m too drunk,” he agreed. he was ready to leave the party and leave it at that, but of course things couldn’t be that easy. zeke had to say something and there was no way caleb could just let it go. his arm around jordyn’s waist tightened ever so slightly as he turned to glare zeke, “and maybe you shouldn’t fuck another dudes girl in my fiancé’s bar,” he growled lowly. there really was no going back now. the shots had been fired and he’d have to deal with the consequences tomorrow.

NICOLE/JORDYN.

just like that, in the blink of an eye things had gone from bad to worse. it was almost impossible for jordyn to keep her eyes from popping out of her head nor the unruly gasp which escaped from her lips as she stood there. her brain frantically trying to process and defuse the situation at the same time, but that was wishful thinking. she opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out. that's when nicole's voice sounded and stole the words right from her mouth. "caleb!" the blonde hissed, voice lowered, green eyes locked on jordyn's soon to be husband. "you don't have the slightest clue on what you're talking about and whatever happens between me and zeke is absolutely none of your business. at all." she couldn't tell if it was her defensiveness over the look exchanged from caleb to zeke, or the idea of him running his mouth on a situation that she didn't regret, but didn't want an entire charity event to be privy to. "caleb, what the fuck. just stop. leave whatever this is alone." jordyn murmured trying to keep whatever this was under wraps. "i think we should just call it a night, walsh."

ZEKE.

zeke could barely hear the attempts being made to diffuse the situation and shut caleb up, but he’s caught the words that the other male had tossed in his direction and he stepped closer toward the other, his features tightened as he glared. “and you should learn not to act like a little fucking bitch and open your mouth on something that you know fuck all about. not only out of respect for your wife but your friend,” he all but spat the words in disgust as he scoffed out a harsh laugh. “if you can’t handle your liquor maybe you should slow it the fuck down when you’re in public. talk about some loose fuckin lips, you’re marrying one nosey motherfucker, jordynella. “ tossing a half glance at his friend but keeping his eyes on the other male for the most part.

CALEB.

it was easy for caleb to ignore nicole and jordyn's attempts to get him to shut the hell up once zeke started to get more aggresive with him. he knew there was no chance that they were going to avoid some kind of altercation between the two of them. honestly, it was a long time coming. caleb was pretty sick of zeke's holier-than-thou attitude he had whenever caleb was out with him and jordyn. he looked between the two girls and scoffed, "i know exactly what i'm talking about and you do too," he rolled his eyes. "you didn't have to react to what i said, you all made it obvious what i was talking about." he did try to not mention names or speak loudly enough for other people to hear him. as soon as zeke moved closer to him, caleb stiffened, "how the fuck am i nosey? it's not my fault you were careless and didn't check to turn of the fucking alarm. you're lucky i didn't call the cops on your dumb ass," he growled. caleb was getting heated maybe a little too fast, but he wasn't about to stop. "and you know what? forget all the rest of this shit," he huffed, "i'm sick and fucking tired of your rude little remarks and blatant disrespect. i've done nothing to you and you're an ass to me for no fuckin reason," he continued without missing a beat. he had sobered up pretty quickly and was ready for a fight. "you know, maybe we should take this outside," he spat.

NICOLE/JORDYN.

there were a lot of things that nicole hampton could stomach or would actively play off like she could but hearing someone or anyone speak to... or at zeke the way caleb was something that struck a nerve so hard and deep she couldn't see straight. she could handle her own when it came to defending herself and her choices, but what she wouldn't stand for or allow under any circumstances was someone especially a drunken caleb. "that is absolutely none of your fucking business like i said." even knowing she was done with anything involving her ex old habits died hard, and there wasn't a single person she'd be even the slightest bit okay with speaking to him the way he was being spoken to now. "jordyn gave the keys to me, not zeke. i had him meet me, so if you wanna be a bitch about things caleb... be a bitch to the right person. even more proof you don't have a single clue about when your talking about with your whole ass chest." all the while jordyn had managed to shift from caleb's grasp, sighing heavily as her blood pressure rose quick in speed. "it's my fucking bar?! i'll give my keys to whoever i want, and i'll decide if and when i call the cops." she hissed towards caleb, "and you, you don't get to give me the side eye. he's drunk - both of you are being fucking stupid for no god damn reason. enough, seriously."

ZEKE.

zeke had never been quiet about his dislike for caleb, despite the rest of the world including jordyn viewing the pair as cute. did he have a real reason for instantly hating the other? probably not, but once zeke made his mind up fully on a subject he closed himself off to the potential to change opinions. petty, always something that could be said for the king male but he had never been one to shy away from an argument or a fight. his gaze shifted to nicole, hating the idea that she was attempting to defend him after their earlier moment and the fact that he wasn’t the type to shut up. “you were real fucking private about tossing a look at me, so the fuck do you think I was gonna do? sit the fuck back while you continue to talk bullshit? you made it pretty fucking obvious where you were tryna throw accusations around when I don’t give a fuck what you saw,” zeke cocked his head, the actor forcing out a fake laugh as he rolled his eyes. “you still don’t know shit. you’re nosey cause you out here trying spread shit like it had shit to do with you. like it’s your business to be worried about. probably fucking should have, do you think i give a fuck? or that I’d thank your ass? how fucking delusional.” the blonde let out another harsh bought of laughter as he listened to caleb complain over his attitude. “i don’t fucking like you, that’s reason enough I don’t give a single shit about you. I hope to god one day you actually are worthy of my best friend right there but i highly fucking doubt I’ll ever believe that or see that.” all but sneering the words. pausing to offer another sarcastic laugh to jordyn’s comment, he shook his head. “ he should learn to hold his liquor and keep his mouth shut.” motioning towards the outside, zeke shrugged. “let’s fucking go.”

CALEB.

caleb clenched his jaw and looked at nicole, "fine. i don't know what i'm talking about," he stated. he wasn't going to fight with nicole. he never had a problem with her and didn't want to cause trouble for her. it was easy to let that shit go. he more focused on zeke's arrogant ass at this point, anyway. he let zeke finish his little rant and his insults. he knew the words didn't matter at the end of the day."you didn't have to fucking react," he replied. "if i wanted a secret kept and someone said something about it, i sure as hell wouldn't react, but maybe that's just me," he rolled his eyes. "it's said and done, get over it." caleb was ready to show this kid his place and he would have no regrets kicking his ass. he could floor someone twice zeke's size in under ten seconds, and that was on a bad day. caleb laughed suddenly, "you think i give two shits if you like me? i couldn't care less. you know absolutely nothing about me and jordyn, so if you're gonna go off on a rant about me not talking on things i know nothing about," he mocked zeke, "then you need to shut the hell up about my relationship. she is the only person i care about when all is said and done and she knows that." he could have gone on for hours about jordyn and how much he loved her, but he was already seeing red and had been ready to punch zeke for a good while now. he exhaled heavily and walked toward the door, making sure to shoulder check zeke as he passed him on the way out.

NICOLE/JORDYN.

jordyn's limits of stupidity had passed minutes ago, someone with four older brothers knew exactly how this was going to play out. they were going to get in touch with some deep rooted grasp for the title of supreme masculinity ruler, act like absolute idiots in front of everyone all over something that shouldn't have been spoke of in the first place. that was the most disconcerting part of this whole ordeal. she peeled her eyes from zeke and caleb long enough to see some of the color return to nicole's face, protectively draping an arm over her shoulder only for her to instantly shake it off. "caleb," nicole said, cocking her head back before bringing it back to her rightful place to look at the athlete beside her, "who the fuck are you talking to right now? because i know it's not zeke... and i know you aren't getting all knee deep into things that did or didn't happen that really didn't involve you no matter what you think you saw. it's not just get over it, because it's not just about zeke." jordyn shook her head, pulling nicole back as it became all the more obvious where this was heading, "let 'em go, sniks." it was easier said than done, being as both unwillingly trailed behind after watching the man she was weeks away from marrying shoulder check her best friend, her for all intents and purposes her platonic soulmate. "zeke... don't it's not worth it." nikki called out, it wasn't her place nor business but the last thing everyone needed was either of them throwing hands during a charity event, jordyn's voice trailing not far behind, "caleb, i swear on everything... you lay one single fuckin finger on him, i'll kick your ass." jordyn's brown eyes narrowing on zeke, "don't be fuckin' stupid. over nothing, zeke. seriously."

ZEKE.

zeke couldn’t hear or see anything past his irritation with the footballer, logic had never been his strong suit. the blond already disliked the guy and he’d spoken on something that wasn’t his business. isaac king was a lot of things but he wasn’t someone about to back down from a fight. sure, caleb was taller and an athlete but zeke had enough fights under his belt. he wasn’t kidding any of the times he threw out his dodgeball practice and dodging skills either. undoubtedly, zeke was going to leave the fight looking less pretty than he preferred to be but he wasn’t going to go down easy and he’d not be the only one taking hits. even if he was certain that any onlookers would assume so from his height. ignoring the rest of caleb’s commentary because there was never a time when he listened to anyone and he wasn’t about to start now, he followed the other male with every intent to fight him. momentarily paused by nicole’s call out but after their last interaction his look over of the femme was short lived as he clenched his jaw. turning to his friend, he raised a brow. “It’s not nothing. He don’t need to worry about shit that has nothing to do with him.” He didn’t pinpoint that he meant his situation with nicole, or that night. he didn’t need to. despite the liquor in his system, zeke felt more than sober.

CALEB.

caleb chose to ignore nicole. they were well past the point where any reasoning would stop them from fighting. he knew the headlines were gonna be messy and that a lot of people would have a lot to say, but he just didn't care anymore. he turned around to look at jordyn and shrugged his shoulders, "then kick my ass, jord. this has been a long time coming and you know it. this dude has been disrespectful for too fuckin long and i'm sick of it." his voice was very matter of fact and he made sure he left no room for argument. he knew jordyn would kick his ass or just make him sleep on the couch for a few days, but that wasn't anything he couldn't handle. once they were outside, caleb made sure to walk a good distance away from the doors the came out. he was stupid, but he wasn't stupid enough to get into a fight right in the open. he didn't want to draw too much attention. as soon as he was a good distance, he turned to zeke and his fist was flying toward the actor's face.

NICOLE/JORDYN.

"you know what, caleb, fuck you then." jordyn said, causing nicole to jump. even after nicole and zeke’s altercation, after her saying she was done she couldn’t help but feel like her heart had plunged full speed into the pit of her stomach following her and zeke’s exchange of looks. this didn’t involve her, not anymore, not after she’d essentially just finished telling her ex they were finished for good. those were just words, her senses numbed to anything besides the fact she couldn’t comprehend something happening to the father of her child. being finished didn’t stop her from standing there, heart racing as she witnessed caleb toss his fist in zeke’s direction. her gasp and initial reaction was to step in only to be stopped by jordyn’s hands on her shoulders pulling her back until she inevitably gave in. “nicole, no. they’re acting like idiot cavemen, so fuck ‘em both.” jordyn hissed, pulling nicole back in with a grimace at the view before them, jaw tightening. the fact caleb, in front of anyone in earshot, decided to say something about zeke and nicole and things unbeknownst to her happening in her own bar only irritated her more. there was a certain code between jordyn and zeke, see nothing say nothing. caleb using her as an excuse to get into a physical altercation with her best friend didn’t sit well, in fact, she stood there not only utterly unamused but questioning things she’d been sure about since meeting caleb. “do something, jordyn...” nicole pleaded to the femme holding her in place. sighing she looked from nicole to zeke and caleb, “what the fuck do you want me to do, nik? if dumb and dumber wanna pummel each other into a fuckin’ pulp let ‘em do it. this whole thing is a stupid my dick is bigger than yours contest anyways. they’re both being little bitches,” she snapped, “just go… okay? i’ll let you know when i get zeke back to his room. i promise it’ll be okay.” moving back and gesturing nicole to the doors back inside, shaking her head.

ZEKE.

zeke didn't have anymore time or space to use words, all his energy buzzed through the festering annoyance with caleb. disdain for the male precedent didn't weigh in on the blond's current issue, not liking caleb hadn't ever been a problem for him and he wasn't going to make it one tonight. winning no awards for his brains didn't mean zeke was going to be a complete fool, standing back and waiting for caleb to turn around and deck him in the face wasn't on his agenda. the first hit was a freebie dodge, the blond's fists instinctively swinging towards the other male a millisecond later.

CALEB.

caleb chose to ignore his fiancé and just keep his head in the game. they’d have their fight later, he was sure of it. and knowing jordyn, that fight would probably be worse than this one. caleb pushed that to the back of his mind and focused on zeke. he took note of his body language and anticipated his first move. he wanted this to be a fair fight, so he was gonna let zeke get a few good hits in. he had taken worse hits on the football field. caleb laughed and was swinging again when he was sure zeke wouldn’t anticipate his move.

ZEKE.

an actor fighting a football player — the results were inevitable, isaac knew that. it was a first he could add to his list, though, because despite his long list of fight history and mouthiness getting him into "trouble", none of them had been footballers. or they just weren't any good at their job if they were. he felt the swing lingering, radiating somewhere near his jaw but he could endure those hits. a right hook aimed at the other, ignoring both surroundings and whatever noise or vocalizations stemme from the other in response.

CALEB.

caleb shook off any hit that zeke managed to get in. he knew he’d be sore for a day or two, but it was nothing he couldn’t handle. the actor was holding his own a lot better than he had expected. at least it was a somewhat fair fight. caleb wasn’t going as hard as he could have and he was sure jordyn at least had to have known he was holding back. caleb suddenly swept his leg behind zeke’s and kicked the back of his knees to get him off his feet.

ZEKE.

he'd all but forgotten the small audience they did have. purposefully not throwing any kicks out, zeke had definitely not been expecting the other male to throw any either and it would've have made him laugh. if being knocked into the snow hadn't pissed zeke off more than the rest of the fight, the cold serving only to push him to sweep his leg through caleb's so he could experience the same meeting with the snow covered ground.

CALEB.

caleb couldn’t stop himself from laughing as zeke fell to the ground. it was always funny watching someone else fall. even if zeke hadn’t kicked him down as well, it wouldn’t have been long before he got down anyway. he scrambled to get the upper hand and close enough to throw another punch toward zekes face. he wasn’t sure how much longer they would go at it but he could go until someone physically pulled them apart. caleb wasn’t a quitter, that was for sure.

ZEKE.

gritting his teeth, zeke ignored the icky substance he hated with a searing passion as his annoyance rose with caleb's laughter. this was a fight, how the fuck was knocking someone down that amusing when they were both supposed to be pissed off? zeke shook off the thought, taking the hit to his face and returning an elbow to the other male's ribs. swiftly throwing his fist in the direction of caleb's jaw, not thinking much about when they would have to stop. if zeke had any say, his stubbornness and overally endurance, the blond wouldn't quit until they were pulled apart by someone else.

CALEB.

tw: blood

caleb grunted when zeke elbowed him in the rib and not too long after hit him in the jaw. he could taste blood and he knew zeke had split his lip open. all sense of amusement faded and caleb was pissed off again. he angrily spat the blood out on to the snow before he moved to get on top of zeke and landed a hit right on his cheekbone. he hoped to at least have given zeke a black eye or a cut on his cheek. there was no way he was gonna be the only one leaving this fight with visible injuries.

ZEKE.

zeke knew he was going to leave this with more damage overall than caleb, he could feel the impacted areas and knew he'd look rough for at least a week. any mark on the other was worth it. he almost took a moment to laugh at the result of his last hit, but he didn't find any of the situation funny. reminded of the icy snow, he felt the hit to his cheek. his stubbornness would only irk him in the morning when he saw the damage to his face, right now none of the cuts, scrapes or radiating pain soon to be bruised areas registered as important. shoving caleb off him and moving to take the top spot, he tossed another hit to the other.

NICOLE/JORDYN.

there was no way in hell jordyn had set out with any intention of getting in between the two now snow covered and visibly injured men on the ground. if they wanted to be stupid, she figured it was better to let them. she didn't have the slightest clue how testosterone worked but it was practically spewing from both men and she assumed they'd catch on sooner or later. but that was her holding her hopes too high. "oh jesus christ..." she grumbled angrily to herself unfolding her arms after the final blows were tossed by each of them. if she stood back any longer someone was probably bound to get really hurt so she got up, looking over her shoulder only to find nicole standing there, eyes widened, mouth covered with an arm wrapped around herself. "fuck me. if either one of you hit me, i'll slap the stupid straight out of both of you." the brunette huffed, bracing herself for any accidental blows, "ENOUGH." she yelled, pulling zeke from his position on top of caleb. under any other circumstances, she probably would've made a joke, but none of this was funny. in fact, it was so beyond unamusing that she knew she'd be unable to look at either for days afterwards. "you have fun? was it worth it? because you put on quite the show... and both you fuckheads managed to turn a night about doing something good into a pissing contest and a show boat for you two and put on show for everyone else." she spat, her breath puffing clouds as a shiver shot down her spine. "get up, caleb." jordyn stood back, eyeing her fiancé on the ground face twisting up in utter disapproval and disgust. "you both fight like a bunch of 3 year olds, by the way. go clean yourselves up before anyone starts taking pictures and makes this worse."

CALEB.

caleb was lost in the fight. the only thing he could hear were the sounds of their fists making contact with each other’s faces and the grunts that followed. he wasn’t sure how long they rolled around in the snow (which at this point didn’t even feel cold anymore). caleb could feel the adrenaline coursing through his body as things got a little more intense. he could have gone for a while longer if he hadnt been taken out of his trance by jordyn suddenly shouting at the two of them. he slumped against the ground once zeke had been pulled off of him and laid there for a second, trying to catch his breath. he could barely understand the lecture jordyn was giving, but he was sure it was something about the two of them being stupid and annoying. after a second, he got up and brushed the snow off of his pants. he spat once more in anger before he stomped off without an word to anyone.

ZEKE.

TW: abusive mentioned

the minute jordyn's voice registered, her words immediately made zeke halt his actions as he was pulled off her fiance, his jaw clenched and his eyes rolling. zeke was a lot of stupid, but he'd never laid his hands on a woman in any physically abusive manner. he wasn't about to make the mistake accidentally or not, but that didn't mean he was over the situation at hand. it didn't matter, at the moment, what happened next between him and his best friend. was she likely pissed at him? yes, but zeke couldn't bring himself to register why he should be concerned with it. his amber hues rolled once more as he watched caleb stalk off without a word, but as they flicked over to see nicole's features... his heart stopped momentarily. he was more than ready to get away from the situation all of a sudden. fighting with caleb was easily swiped from his thoughts, because everything in him focused on the expression. any residual anger, adrenaline, pride over leaving some form of mark on a good sized footballer... slid from him and he felt defeated. deflated, physically his frame exhaled all the remaining air from his lungs and he shook his head, pulling off the suit jacket he adorned and heading off in the direction of where he was staying, wordlessly as a half hearted roll of his eyes followed this time.

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morningtomes · 5 years ago

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——— BASICS! ♡

NAME! ♡ jordyn PRONOUNS! ♡ she/her ZODIAC SIGN! ♡ leo TAKEN OR SINGLE! ♡ single but honestly dont give a shit

——— THREE FACTS! ♡

1! ♡ my right ankle has been in a constant state of discomfort and pain for two years now. neat.

2! ♡ i can touch the tip of me nose with me tongue

3! ♡ i am a fucking slut for noragami aus. grabby hands. please gimme.

——— EXPERIENCE! ♡

PLATFORMS USED! ♡ twitter, tumblr, discord, skype... general stuff tbh

——— MUSE PREFERENCE! ♡

GENDER! ♡ i write males way more commonly than i do females and i have no idea why

LEAST FAVOURITE FACE(S)! ♡ literally any that were associated with my recent ex lol

MULTI OR SINGLE! ♡ single!! i tried multi once, never really stuck with me bc everyone only ever wanted one muse and it was kinda demotivating

FLUFF / ANGST / SMUT! ♡

FLUFF : GOD YES PLE A SE

ANGST : im a slut for angst

SMUT : i dont write it very often but like..... i dont mind writing it!! im just a fuckin weenie n like keeping it as private as possible oops

PLOT / MEMES! ♡ grabby hands. give. i love all of these things. honestly u can ask flout im a whore for rambling abt muse interactions in dms bc its just Fun

tagged by : NO ONE i thiefed it tagging: NO ONE thief it nerds

#《 ϟ. eat my ass spirits! 》 (ooc)#《 ϟ. i eat coffee beans raw to survive 》 (mun)#heck yeah im a gremlin #:3c

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deafwestnewsies · 8 years ago

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jordyn casts rent on fox

just 2 make sure they don’t screw it up

AUSTIN MCKENZIE as Mark Cohen

-DWSA, Speech and Debate, When We Rise

-beautiful and small and just look at him, meant 2 b mark

-angel voice

BRENDON URIE as Roger Davis

-P!ATD, Kinky Boots

@-jakelamay already said this but hot damn i couldn’t agree more

-literally is the emo boy we all know and love

AARON HARRINGTON as Tom Collins

-Rent 20th

-plays collins on the 20th tour and he is The Single Greatest Person

-just so good at this role. so good.

DAVID MERINO as Angel Dumott Schunard

-Rent 20th

-plays angel and i s2g you haven’t lived till you’ve seen his Today 4 U

-identifies as a member of the lbgt+ community and has a great relationship on stage with Aaron Harrington

JASMINE CEPHAS JONES as Mimi Marquez

-Hamilton, The Loneliness of the Long Distance Runner

-again, @jakelamay said this but SHE IS PERFECT FOR MIMI ARE YOU ACTUALLY JOKING

-no1 else can do it. only jasmine.

KRYSTA RODRIGUEZ as Maureen Johnson

-DWSA, Smash, The Addams Family

-we have seen her play a diva (in Smash) before and!!!! she will do it. i promise u.

-her singing Over the Moon would be literally so funny yet so good imagine it

KEKE PALMER as Joanne Jefferson

-Cinderella, Grease Live!

-okay a litttle basic but! her singing We’re Okay!!! would be so cute and good. now imagine Tango: Maureen how literally amazing would it be.

-good actor! like, A+++

CHRISTOPHER JACKSON as Benjamin Coffin III

-Hamilton, In The Heights, The Lion King

-HIM DOING THE RIFFS IN YOU’LL SEE

-has already played a benny let him do it once more

AND MIGHT I ALSO PROPOSE

ALICE LEE as the Token Asian Ensemble Member

-you know every production has one and they also play Alexi

-please give my girl this please

TRACIE THOMS as Joanne’s Mother

-idc who plays the dad

-she doesn’t have to be the seasons of love soloist or an ensemble member just give her that cameo

STEPHANIE J BLOCK as Mark’s Mother

-overall i think the parents shouldn’t be ensemble, just play these parts

-has A+ vocals and has lots of experience playing typical Overly Nervous and Jewish Mother

-this also might be because i’m on a falsettos kick rn

THE ENTIRE ENSEMBLE OF THE RENT 20th TOUR as the ensemble. please. they are so good i don’t think you get it

ALIA HODGE as Seasons of Love Soloist

-again, the soloist in Rent 20th BUT she’s a vocal powerhouse

-i’m serious i couldn’t breathe during her solo she’s that good

thank you for listening to my ramblings

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wildflowrrs · 5 years ago

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—— about the mun

In general:

Real name: jordyn! Nicknames: jardyn, jordyb, jardyb, jordy, jordakdyndn, bisexual jesus Age: 20 Sexuality: bisexual! (no lean) Prefered pronouns: she/her Are you a morning person?: god no, but i end up waking up early anyway When swimming, do you prefer to do it in the ocean, or in a lake?: lake ; w ;

On Tumblr:

Anyone you would like to meet in real life?: my friends group!! they’re not on tumblr tho Anyone you have met in real life?: of that group, no. When did you first join? How old is your current account?: GOD i first joined tumblr generally in like,,, 2012 or 2013 lol,,, technically cypher was really. born like waaay back in may, so Any peeves?: god where the fuck do i begin, i have way too many. unnecessary whining is one of them tho--- like congrats karen, no one gives a shit, shut up lol Unpopular opinion: uh. idk? something something people should be more oc friendly bc people put a lot of time n effort into them only to end up never really interacting bc no one gives them a shot, ig. idk. its not unpopular.

Feelings:

Do you easily get jealous?: mmm yeeees? kinda? but i keep myself in check so shit doesnt stir for no reason Do you easily get angry?: OH I GET ANGRY but i have the self control to not let it consume me, so it counts for something Are you easy to cheer up?: mmmmmm it really depends What’s the most hurtful thing someone could do to you?: fuckin idk, ive had a lot of hurtful shit done to me so What’s the most hurtful thing someone has done to you?: my recent ex used me to validify themselves, used me for my art as well as to make themselves feel good abt being in a relationship, and then lied to my face and just tossed me aside when they got bored :) Are you good at hiding your emotions?: hhhhhh,, i guess? maybe? What’s the very best way to cheer you up?: plotting!! letting me ramble!! PLOTTING!!!

Relationships:

Are you currently in a relationship?: noooope Do you currently have a crush on someone?: nop If yes, might that someone be reading this?: hi me, ily Do you kiss on the first date?: i mean all my relationships so far have been long distance, so Do you prefer going out, or staying home, when it comes to dates?: again, only long distance so far, so

Things:

Favorite drink: mocha and/or vanilla iced coffee!! Favorite food: cHEESEBURGERRRSSS Most calming place?: my room and also my moms room u__u being there calms me down when im upset Most stressful place?: my old house/street Most prized possession?: uhhhh my plushies i guess? since i can’t narrow it down to one specifically, i love them too much

Tag five people (if you want to):

thief it!!!

#《 🌸. eat my ass spirits! 》 (ooc)#《 🌸. i eat coffee beans raw to survive 》 (mun)#long post //#ask to be tagged //#(sips smoothie) anyway

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boghfadees · 8 years ago

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🎴

im fucking dumb 07 Dec 2016- i know ive been known to overthink things and they are never usually anything with another meaning and im rambling on and on. anyway i kept saying i love you and she just didn't say it and this is after a day or two where things don't exactly seem okay between us and im shaking. jordyn means the world to me and if i ever lost her id be so devastated. again this is me probably blowing something out of proportion and getting really worked up for no reason but this is a change i noticed and if she left at least you can know when it started falling apart so you can beat yourself up for being passive or afraid yet again only this time you lost the one, the only one, and i don't know what we're gonna do jacob. 16 Dec 2016-she compares you to mckelty and says what you did was worse and it stings so bad you can't breathe. 17 Dec 2016-you feel small. she tells you to leave her alone and she's hurt. she's gotten sick and she asks you why you had to do any of this to her. why did you have to drag her into your shitty life and lead her on that you were a good person. and while you were typing that she said she couldn't do this anymore and you started shaking and crying and everything fell apart and she told you how she gave you the world and how you shit all over hers.

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jesterofdiretimes · 8 years ago

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I keep thinking about her.

Her who I knew Since elementary school Who I who I grew up with.. Who was one of my closest friends.. Her name was April, I wanted to ask her out one time But she got a bf the day I finally mustered up the guts. She then just friendzoned me.. And gave me excuses like “my mom has to know your mom” I lost contact with her in 2014 when I left school. I miss her.. She never returned my affection and even threatened to hurt me once if i told a girl about her bf cheating on her with her. (A girl’s bf cheating on her with april)

I don’t care..we had a lot in common She was and still is in my mind the most beautiful girl in the world, and I wish I could just see her again.. Maybe strike up a romance? But alas only in my dreams. And who am I kidding.. She’s probably got some hotshot hunk of a bf anyway..like all the girls around here. They all are either taken or just friendzone me.. Why..? Why does nobody in this town want to be with me..? Why am i so alone..? Why God..? Why? 😞 I hate this. No girl wants a loser like me With no car, no job and no money.. I wish I could stop crying Im such a crybaby..

Many girls I miss or wanted to be more then friends. (Classified if they have a tumblr) Like Ash, *sighs* Who pretty much (well not even pretty much, she did) abandon me and never even gave me a chance even though I tried so hard.. God she was gorgeous, black hair, 5'4 And an Italian face and stellar body, She always wanted to date non-white guys or military guys and get fucked. Yet she has more friends then me and a better life.. Why..? I could list tons of girls,

like Jordyn who got with a guy and never broke up and pretty much left me. (She got engaged in my birthday) Yessir. People like Cailey who I always had a crush on but now is married and knocked up, we still talk but I just wish maybe I had a chance at one point with her. But she’s happily married now, we still talk. And she’s a good friend. I couldn’t do that to her.

Or maybe (classified), who slept with pretty much every guy in school and openly admitted to it. She even slept with one of my closest friends. Who is LESS ATTRACTIVE THEN ME. But never gave me a chance or ignored me..

many many “crushes” or “infatuations” Who I never took beyond a friend.. But so desperately wish I could’ve.

I tried to get with girls like (classified) who I never grew up with but was so lonely I didn’t care. Oh my father constantly talked about her.. She’s just a slut..she got with a guy 2 days after her other bf broke up with her.. Never mind she also ignored my affection and got with some random stranger. Her father also found out her and her bf were fucking, in my book that’s a slut (no offense. My own personal opinion) .

When it comes to love, I can get (almost) any woman I want to fall for me, BUT, (this is the important part), they always end up either having a BF or get one in the period we talk. Im just flat out unlucky.

I could list millions of names but what does it matter? If smoking didn’t kill I’d light a cig here and forget my troubles. But my past haunts me and my anxiety kills.

I just wish I had somebody. I live in a town where people get with their highschool sweethearts or did get with them Friends fuck friends, let’s say that. But ‘ol me? Nah he’s asexual and left alone. Like always.. He don’t got no friends no more They all grew up or got married to one another. Anyway im rambling As for april? No clue. She could’ve moved or died for all I know None of my “friends” were friends with her, she was an outcast like me. That’s why I liked her so much

If you’ve ever read Ichi the killer, That’s my personally and love life. (Minus the violence fetish) alone and unsure of what to do, reflecting on the past… I love that manga.

15 lovers and many paramours..come and gone like the wind, none of them girls I truly wanted or grew up with. I can't remember how many times I've been cheated on.. Maybe 14? 13? Out of my 15-16? I don't remember..

Anyway thanks for listening If you read it I guess. If you’d like to know more about my life Leave a like or comment I guess. And sorry if I bothered you. Im just a lonely barely 5'4 nobody.

#me #life #rant #lonely #depressed #alone #ichithekiller #manga #mine #stories #storytime

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thebibliophagist · 7 years ago

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Goodreads Amazon

When someone writes a cruel insult about Julia’s best friend on the wall of the Kingston School for the Deaf, Julia retaliates by covering it with some beautiful graffiti. She never expected Jordyn to snitch, but she did, and Julia finds herself expelled and forced into a mainstream school. As the new girl, with an interpreter, no less, Julia struggles to fit in. Her only enjoyment is her art, and she becomes bolder and bolder as she tags the city after dark. Her artwork gets her noticed by her fellow artists, and it’s not long before she finds herself in a turf war.

I’m going to try to start with some positives in this review. One thing that I’ve noticed recently is the diversity in YA lit. This is the second book I’ve read this week featuring a character with two moms, and I think that’s great. In addition to being Deaf and having two moms, Julia is a person of color. This is such a far cry from the YA of my childhood and I love it.

Unfortunately, that’s about all that I loved about this book.

Julia is the worst. I don’t need my YA heroines to be little angels, but it certainly helps when they have at least some redeeming qualities. I hated Julia with a such a fiery, burning passion that I had to talk myself out of DNFing on multiple occasions!

Julia is selfish. She’s bratty. She is angry at everyone and everything and there’s really no reason for it because she literally brings everything on herself. She’s disrespectful to her moms, she’s disrespectful to her teachers, she’s disrespectful to her interpreter, and she’s disrespectful to her friends. She justifies her behavior by saying that she’s been burned in the past. I might be in my late 20′s, but I remember being a teenager. I remember the dramatics and the heavy sighs when things went even a little wrong. I remember being a bit bratty sometimes. But this? This is so over-the-top that I could not take Julia seriously. She was a child.

I get that the author was in a bit of a tough place here. With a character like Julia, someone who’s Deaf and Indian with two moms, she was in definite danger of making her into a symbol of some kind. And Julia didn’t have to be perfect. She didn’t have to be a role model or a saint. But Julia couldn’t comprehend why her moms didn’t want her going out at night and breaking the law. Like maybe they were just mad that she likes art. I couldn’t connect with Julia at all, because she was, as I said, the actual worst.

And so judgmental. Julia was always judging people. Donovan couldn’t be an artist because he’s cute and cute people can’t be smart. YP couldn’t be an artist because she’s blond and bubbly. At one point, she actually says that Jordyn liked her because she didn’t judge, but at the time she’s saying that, she is literally judging Jordyn for how many boys she’s dated. I mean, I couldn’t make this up. Jordyn might be a villain in this story, but there’s no reason to slut-shame her because of it.

Throughout the book, all I could think was that Julia needed some serious help. She goes around basically trying to ruin her life by burning bridges, skipping class, lying to her parents, and alienating her interpreter. I’m not denying that Julia had some unfortunate things happen to her. And sure, she’s definitely right to cut off contact with Jordyn. But she was so over-the-top dramatic about YP, and the scene with her and Donovan in the car made me so uncomfortable. This is not the way anybody should be acting.

I’m surprised not to see anything about The Banksy Ordeal™ in reviews. I wrote this huge rant about it in my Kindle notes, but I don’t want to subject you those ramblings, so let me summarize. Am I seriously supposed to believe that this actually happened? Was Julia perhaps dreaming, or maybe high on spray paint fumes? I mean, what the heck. What kind of plot point is that?

Most of what I felt while reading this book was anger. I appreciate what Gardner was aiming for, but this book was just not for me.

Final rating: ★☆☆☆☆

#book review #one star #genre: young adult #2017debauthc

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i-am-andy-d · 7 years ago

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Andy + Jordyn: The Aftermath

Jordyn had done everything she could to avoid Andy. She still wasn’t sure exactly what had happened, everything had been smooth and dandy for herself but she wasn’t ready to find out what had happened to Andy, fearful of what he might say to her. She was over the initial pain of being abandoned.

Jordyn was reluctantly attending lunch that day, having been threatened with isolation again is she didn’t go eat. Eli said he’d escort her but he was nowhere to be seen. “Of course….” She threw herself down at the table on the farthest corner of the room, poking at the ham sandwich infront of her. Isolation for two days left Andy disoriented. He scarfed down the heap of macaroni and cheese the nurse put on his tray. He didn’t remember eating at all over the last 48 hours. For the first time, he hadn’t resisted the orderlies dragging him to isolation. He needed it. He felt so out of control when he kissed Jordyn. He needed to be removed, he knew it. Still, to keep up appearances, Andy found himself with bruises all over his body the second day, when the staff entered the room to evaluate him. Now, sitting in the cafeteria, he felt as if he was going to have a panic attack. He knew Jordyn was in the room, it was like he could feel her eyes burning into him. He pushed himself out of his seat and practically ran outside.

Jordyn’s eyes stuck like glue on the back of Andy’s head, he was all she could focus on. As age watched him get up and leave, Jordyn knew something was wrong. She quickly chased after him, following the man out of the cafeteria. “Andy…?” She called out, concern filling her voice.

Andy shook his head as he heard footsteps run after him. As she entered the room, he groaned. “I have three words for you, and they’re not I love you.”

Jordyn didn’t want to get angry with him, not at all, but she needed answers. “Yeah well I don’t love you either, not when you act like this! What the hell happened?!” She questioned, crossing her arms over her chest as she awaited her answers. “Well, that’s a relief” Andy quipped. He didn’t want to get angry, not if it made her kiss him again. Jordyn sighed and sat down, “Listen, I’m sorry. You have my sincerest apologies, if that’s what you need. I didn’t mean to… It was.. I don’t know what it was...impulse, I guess.” Her big green eyes glanced up at him. She wished she could express that she never intended for him to hate her. God, of course, she had to fuck up as soon as they were on good terms. “I don’t want you to hate me.” “Of course you don’t, because that would be simple and you just like to make everything so damn complicated.” Andy sighed, mumbling to both her and himself. “You’re so young, Jordyn. You make me feel like a pedophile, and to be honest, murderer was more than enough for my reputation. I don’t need underage lady fucker on my resume as well.” He tried to make what he was saying a joke, even if it was something he legitimately was worried about. “I’m not good first--” He gagged on the word boyfriend, not being able to even imagine attaching himself to her, “anything--material.” “Who says you’re a first anything?” Jordyn frowned, wondering what the hell he was on about. “I’m nineteen, not four. I think you’re over thinking one kiss way too much.” She sighed, running her hand through her hair. “If it’s too much then-- fine-- but you can’t deny you enjoyed it, not at first.” “I’m going to be pushed into being something, and I’m not ready for that, but you’re so…persistent.” Andy rubbed his hands over his face with another sigh. “Yeah, I get it, you’re nineteen, whatever. Jordyn, I’m fucking five years older than you. I mean, that’s such a gap for us. You’re supposed to have just graduated high school. I’m supposed to have just graduated college, like, what? Two…two years ago? It’s just…two different stages of life.” He decided to keep his mouth shut about enjoying the kiss. That factor didn’t matter. Jordyn laughed at his ramblings about age. “Seriously? I’m twenty in a month. It’s hardly an issue when we’re trapped in here.” She stood up again and paced as she spoke. “Is your hand okay?” She changed the subject, looking down at the fist that had gone through the wall only two days ago. “No, I’m serious! It’s different ways of thinking and different priorities and…I can’t do that. I can’t.” Andy shook his head. His heart started beating faster as he inwardly began to panic. He shook his head again, not saying a word. He looked down at his hand. It looked pretty bad, and maybe it was, but after being in so many fights, he had a pretty high tolerance for pain. Jordyn turned to face him, halting in her tracks. “Andy… Look at me, do I look like a child? Do I look like someone that can’t handle herself? I’m young, okay I’ll admit that but you’re making yourself sound like you’re in your forties.” She sighed before slowly approaching him. “I’m a grown ass woman and if that freaks you out then maybe I’m not the only one that’s ‘immature’!” “Yes! Yes, you DO look like someone that can’t handle herself! Have you looked around?” He laughed, part genuine part sarcastic. “Neither of us can, that’s why we’re here.” Jordyn nodded in agreement. “Alright, I’ll take that. But I wanted to kiss you. I like you. Not love, not wanting a relationship, but lust. That was all. Honestly, you’re not exactly boyfriend material and I’m not girlfriend material. But you’re not the only one that’s fucked up, Andy. It’s not just you that’s suffering or dealing with crap. But it’s easier WITH people, and I know I’d sure as he’ll prefer you over anyone else here. Even if you are scary and sarcastic.” “But what if I DIDN’T? What if I just wanted to…I don’t know. I’m just…I can’t be the person you think I am. I tried to be when we hung out, but that’s not who I really am. You know my real self, and that’s the guy that scares you, and WANTS to scare you. I just want to be alone, Jordyn. It’s easier” Jordyn glared up at the man, for once finally seeing beneath his scary exterior. “I want this side of you. The side that’s honest and actually speaks to me rather than gets angry and threatens me. I don’t believe that you WANT to scare me. I think that’s what you’ve tricked yourself into believing you have to be scary in order to keep people away, because you’re afraid of anyone getting close.” She raised an eyebrow, silently questioning if she was right. “I’m not going to hurt you.” “That’s not true at all. I DO want to scare you. How else am I going to get you to go away? Asking has never worked. I don’t like being around you, it feels weird. It’s…not acceptable. And I’m not AFRAID of anything, blondie. Don’t start with that therapist bullshit.” Andy laughed when she promised she wouldn’t hurt him. “You couldn’t if you tried.” “You know what. I’m gone, if that’s what you want so badly. I’ll transfer hospitals so you don’t have to see me again if I’m that fucking awful to be around.” Jordyn felt her anger rising but didn’t want to get to that level again, she stepped backwards. “I’m sorry I… Made you feel weird?” She couldn’t even comprehend what he was actually saying but that was why she had to turn away– she started heading towards the door. Andy rushed to the door and grabbed Jordyn’s arm, eyes pleading. “You’ll make it so hard for me to talk to you if you run away. You just told me what you wanted, and you did the complete opposite of that. I don’t understand you, Jordyn.” He murmured softly to her, almost desperately. For the first time in a very long time, the twenty-four year old felt confused. He knew he wasn’t in his element. This heart to heart thing was not his forte, but he didn’t know what else would work anymore. “You make me feel weird because I know what I want and yet you make me do the exact opposite of it. It IS weird. Our entire relationship, no matter what label it is, is weird.” Jordyn turned and looked him in the eye. “I’m doing what you want. All I want to do is make you happy, for some god unknown reason. So if you don’t want me around, then I’ll make myself scarce. Tell me what YOU want to do. You know what I want but we have to be able to compromise for things to work… I guess.” “You say that every time but you never do. Why don’t you tell me what you actually want, instead of what I wanna hear?” He raised an eyebrow, starting to get frustrated with talking. She wasn’t understanding, and he wasn’t either. He couldn’t express what he wanted. He didn’t know! He wanted Jordyn to be around, and yet another part of him wanted her to leave. He wanted to be with her, but another part of him cringed at the thought. He couldn’t make up his mind. Jordyn let her hand rest on top of Andy’s. “Okay…” In order to get out what she truly wanted to say, she had to muster up all of her courage. “You. No labels, no rules. Just you. I need someone to knock some sense into me from time to time. We don’t have to kiss or even hug but I’d like to know you at least want to be around me.” Andy unconsciously held her hand in his. He felt his face flush as he tried to think of how to express what he wanted. “I-I-I want to be around you–-part of me does, anyway–the selfish part. There’s just this other half of me that realizes why it’s so wrong for you, and I can’t help but care. I want you so fucking badly, in so many ways. I just know why I can’t--I can’t DO this--I can’t have you and it makes me not want to be around you.” Jordyn felt her heart beat pick up and a small smile found it’s way across her face. Finally, she felt like she was able to have a moment of clarity. “Okay, but like I said, I don’t have to give you any reasons to want me. I’ll wear the baggiest, most unflattering clothing! And a chastity belt.” She joked, looking up into the beautiful pools of blue in his eyes. “I’m sorry I kissed you before. Everything on your terms, I promise.” The girl absentmindedly ran her thumb over the back of his hand. “No–no–I don’t want that! I want…” Andy struggled to find the words. He didn’t want a relationship. He wanted to fuck her, but part of him would feel bad if he took advantage of her, he knew it. “I want someone to be with you who is good to you. I wanted someone to kiss you...better.” He didn’t even remotely know how to express what he meant by “better” without sounding like a fucking romance novel. “I don’t want you hanging around with people that push you around--people like me. You walk around like you’re invincible but you’re not. I’m...you don’t see me for what I obviously am, or you’d be running away from me just like everyone else is. But every selfish part of me wants to take full advantage of you. It’s just...better...if you stayed away.” Jordyn shook her head. “I don’t want to be treated in such a fragile way. I’m not about that! You know what I really want?” She smirked, “I really want a good fuck. I really want someone to just take my mind away from things for a while.” For the first time in a long time, Jordyn knew what she needed. She needed Andy. She needed something to take her mind off of the pain in her mind, something physical for once rather than always just emotion. “Well…I didn’t ask you what you wanted. So…” Andy shifted his eyes back and forth, smirking at her after, trying to appear more friendly than he felt. “Well… That’s what I want. So, either help me out or I’ll find someone else.” Jordyn flashed a cheeky smirk right back at him. “You deserve so much more than a quick fuck.” He wanted to say more, the words went through his brain, but they didn’t come out his mouth. You deserve for someone to care about you. You…you’re just as much of a fool I thought you were, cuz you can’t see that. “You foolish, foolish girl.” Andy felt brave as he put his hand on her cheek and gently smoothed his thumb over it. Jordyn closed her eyes at the contact. “You seem okay at the caring thing.” She muttered, stepping close to him. “I don’t deserve anything.” Jordyn shook her head, the feelings of loneliness from the past washing over her, wishing he would kiss her so she didn’t have to feel like this anymore. “Then I hope you stay just as much of a fool as you are now.” He murmured, closing their lips in a kiss. He moved his hand down from her face to her hips and held her against him. Jordyn felt a sigh of relief escape her as their lips locked, she moved gently, slowly, taking it all in. There was force behind his touch, but she felt how unsteady his hands were as they held her against him. Was he trying to be gentle? Could he care for her? Finally, just as she was becoming desperate for the absence of thought, she the girl’s thoughts were silenced and nothing was more important right now than the feel of Andy touching her in the most intimate of ways. Her arms moved up to wrap around his neck, pulling herself up onto the tips of her toes as she parted her lips slightly, intensifying the kiss. Just as things were getting too intense, Andy turned his cheek. He felt himself slightly panting as his heart was racing so quickly that he swore Jordyn could feel it. He didn’t want to lose himself again, he couldn’t. He already felt too exposed. Jordyn took the older man’s face in her hands, making him look at her. “You’re way too good at that..” She whispered as she kissed his cheek, slowly dragging her lips down to the nape of his neck where she left heated kisses and slight teeth marks. Her tongue licked it’s way back up his neck and kisses trailed back down. “Too much experience.” Andy chuckled, hand trembling before knotting itself in her hair. “That’s not a bad thing.” Jordyn muttered, continuing to kiss his neck then back up to the corner of his mouth, pressing her lips against his again. Then, she tore herself away from the kiss. She smirked at him just as she was about to leave the room. “Now I’ll go, you know, before you punch a hole in the wall again.”

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