#jongdae humor

[jongbross]

is there something specific their partner can do that'll make the exo members extremely jealous? (sorry i suck at wording lmao)

you don't! don't worry lol <3

minseok - whenever he feels you've been too attached to someone new in your life he feels jealousy. minseok doesn't want to lose you, but it's hard to make him understand that he could never

junmyeon - talk someone up for days. it's a slow growing issue, the more you talk about how amazing that person is, the more he gets jealous

yixing - spend too much time with the same person, especially when he's away. like, what do you mean you went out for dinner with that person three times this week?

baekhyun - there's this specific look you give baekhyun when he talks about something that he loves. if you look at anyone talking with the same eyes, same little smile, he might go insane and shove the person out of the way

jongdae - it's kinda hard to make him jealous, but he really doesn't like when people touches you a lot (he doesn't care if you're okay with it, that dude is your friend but h should NOT have a hand resting on you while talking)

chanyeol - flirt with someone, it drives him NUTS. don't compliment them, you have him, THEE park chanyeol right beside you.

kyungsoo - literally the same thing as jongdae

jongin - pay more attention to someone else (especially when it's someone new) when he's right there with you. the only excuse you have is if you haven't seen that person in at least 2 years, and still he will pout the whole night

sehun - whenever you laugh and lean into someone he has the smallest of beaf with. he'll imitate your laugh afterwards, with no humor at all, annoyance stamped all over his face

[skzoombie]

oioi zoo meu amor!!! caso vc tenha tempo, vc poderia fazer como seria o exo cuida da namorada/esposa grávida ? 😖

EXO x Cuidando da esposa grávida

Xiumin

Extremamente dócil e gentil, ás vezes ansioso mas sempre tentando manter a calma

Se preocuparia com a sua alimentação e exercícios que faria para estimular uma gravidez saudável

Deixaria a casa sempre organizada para você não ter que nem pensar em tocar em algo para mexer ou limpar.

Daria um beijo na sua barriga antes de dormir.

Suho

Carinhoso e manhoso durante a sua gravidez.

Ficariam deitados imaginando como seria aparência e personalidade do bebê.

Entregava tudo pronto para você, comida, roupas e até a banheira para só deitar e relaxar.

Muitas fotinhos do processo da gravidez no grupo dos membros, chegava a dar ânsia de vomito de tão babão que junmyeon poderia ser com um bebê que nem tinha nascido ainda.

Lay

Desatento em certas perspectivas mas na verdade está sempre com ouvidos abertos a cada pequeno resmungo seu.

Pesquisaria bastante sobre paternidade e aprenderia com tutoriais em como trocar fralda, dar banho e até introduzir os alimentos.

Quando não conseguisse desmarcar um evento, ficaria ligando toda hora para saber se estava tudo sob controle.

Internamente já estava planejando outros filhos ;)

Baekhyun

Fotos de cada passo importante da gestação, revelava todas as fotografias para guardar de memória.

Baekhyun criando uma coleção de roupas infantis na Privé especial para o bebê.

Tentaria passar uma energia de paternidade despreocupada, que estava tudo nos conformes e nada apavoraria ele MAS na escuridão da noite, pesquisava artigos sobre como entender a mente de crianças e adolescentes.

Dorme agarradinho na sua barriga e escutando o bebê se mexer.

Chen

Um pai muito discreto, ninguém nem imaginava que ele estava esperando um filho.

Jongdae é uma pessoa extremamente prevenida, então ele já tinha estudado sobre paternidade e maternidade, sabia até mais do que você.

Hábito de cantar baixinho antes dos três dormirem.

Calendário no celular para acompanhar quantas semanas você estava e o tempo que faltava.

Chanyeol

Começando que quando ele soube da gravidez ficou em completo silêncio por longos minutos.

Internamente desesperado mas sempre tentando passar calma e tranquilidade no processo de gestação.

Pediria conselhos para os outros integrantes se já tivessem filhos.

Gostavam de antes de dormir ficar brincando de falar um nome engraçado para a criança e ver a reação da pessoa no cartório no dia do registro.

D.O

Tranquilidade e segurança seriam os sentimentos dominados por esse menino.

Ele tinha uma leve insegurança, mas confiava em você e sabia que o desejo de terem filhos era algo mútuo, só não esperavam naquele momento.

Mostrava fotos das ultrassom para alguns amigos de elenco nas gravações dos doramas e também para os integrantes.

Preparava todas as refeições e deixava tudo guardadinhos para você apenas comer e descansar.

Kai

Sorriso nervoso quando percebeu o que significava dois risquinhos no teste.

Deixaria a vida levar vocês, não queriam ficar falando e pensando nisso o tempo todo, tinham medo de ficarem mais nervosos ainda.

Comprariam produtinhos, alimentos e roupas que fossem recomendadas para a gestação.

Jongin ficaria te encarando de longe e imaginando como o bebê seria o mais lindo do mundo.

Sehun

Tentaria passar a imagem de confiante porém não conseguiria segurar esse personagem por muito tempo.

Ele estava com muito medo de não ter as atitudes corretas na paternidade.

Possivelmente teriam algumas discussões pelo excesso de nervoso e medo de serem futuros pais.

Sehun tentaria controlar a si mesmo e entenderia suas mudanças de humor, começando a te tratar com mais paciência.

[mybiasisexo]

Thanks for humoring my rant lol.

Tho, it rly is so confusing. Like where was this energy when ppl were literally sitting outside SME protesting to have Jongdae removed from the group, simply because he was married? Or when Chanyeol had his scandal back in 2020? (Tbh that scandal was just ridiculous, the “evidence” was just laughable 😅.)

SM is just the worst when it comes to pr and management. Like rly they are. At a point, they just let the clout from their groups do all the work and just sit there and watch. I seriously believe that exo could’ve even more successful than they are now. Like doing the Olympic closing ceremony and then a possible invitation to perform at Coachella? That was the perfect recipe for a westward expansion! (Tho we would have fix the weird gaps b/w Countdown and DMUMT, and then obsession ofc)

Maybe it was because sm had tried with both BoA and SNSD (their two biggest acts at the time) to break into the western markets and both didn’t pan out like they wanted, so they gave up on the idea. But when they realized the time was right, exo was about to their military service, so they moved onto NCT 127 and then SuperM. Tho, I’m probably giving them way too much credit lmao. 🤣

If you’re interested, I may or may not made an alternative version of exos career if things went (nearly) perfectly for them, esp without military enlistments and political tensions in the way. Lmk, and I’ll send u the link!

yeah they were SILENT for both of those. just threw our boys right into the wolves den smh. and those werent even like serious allegations 😭😭 not to mention both chen and chanyeol are still dealing with the aftermath of those!!! knetz cant stand their asses 😀🔪

i think sm really just didnt want exo in the west. theyre target was always asia, so theyve put more focus in china and japan with them. which is a shame bc, well, im in america!!!!! its true tho that if sm had nurtured it, they wouldve been huge in the west, they already had the demand and the clout. i remember them going toe-to-toe with one direction back in '13. ONE DIRECTION!!!! and it was neck and neck, like they really couldve been as big as b*s here. but honestly??? im glad that didnt happen. cause idk if i could handle this fandom if it were at that level lol. tho omggg if they had gone to coachella i wouldve acted a straight FOOL. again, a crisis averted for me 😇. tho ill never forgive them for never coming back to the states. esp bc they stopped coming when i told myself i was going to go no matter what hahahHA....😭

ooh! i would love that link thank you! i wanna see what you think wouldve happened bc i too am curious of the trajectory of their career had their company not gotten in their way

[shine-on-fest]

Reminders of You ✦ by depozyt Sometimes we assume that people from our past never learned from the mistakes they made with us, or even later in life, that they remained true to our memory of them. Logically, we know that's not true, but we still dream of them as they were at thirteen years old. Even if the version of them that is alive in our minds isn't true.

(Junmyeon starts a new job. He meets someone from his past while working.)

✧ Jongdae/Junmyeon ✧ G • 2k ✧ Magical Realism, Dreams and Nightmares, Childhood Sweethearts, Fluff, Humor

[treasure-exo]

Catastrophe

Genre: humor, slight fluff

Pairing: Jongdae X you

Word count: 1633 (I went overboard a little I know, I’m sorry)

Description: A simple evening can lead you up to unexpected situations.

A/N: so this is my little drabble for @nunchiwrites :) as a part of @exo-writers-net secret valentine’s drabble. Hope you like it, I did my best. Also I’m back after probably more than a year, so please anticipate this :) (idk please read this on desktop, mobile app is trash and don’t make a gap between two paras and it’s so clogged that you can’t have a good reading experience)

You’re constantly looking from the wall clock to your phone checking time, wishing that the time goes by a little faster today.

You brighten up your lock screen, to check how many minutes passed by. You sigh, putting down your phone on the kitchen counter for the nth time in the span of two hours. Just a minute, it felt like an hour though.

The windows behind you are continually clattering even though they are closed, winds thumping the window panel, making them bang against the frame. This has been the only noise in the kitchen except for the distant noises of chattering of people and rumbling of dried leaves.

The weather is windy, cloudy too but not somber, sun rays are still visible through the clouds making it pleasant to view.

You stand, leaning your back against the counter and your hands crossed over your chest. Lightly tapping your foot on the cabinets, You look at the wall clock.

It’s exciting how you’re so eager to meet him again. It’s only been couple days when he left for his business meeting and he will be coming back by any time now. A smile forms on your face thinking about him.

A sudden ding startled you from your reverie. You look over your back, shifting your eyes from the counter to the oven. The lights inside are off and it shows the time at 0:0.

“Finally” You mutter, taking out the pan of cookies from the oven.

You put the pan on the dining table opposite to the counter, when you hear the doorbell. Your focus immediately shifts from the cookies to the noise. You take off your oven mitts before starting off.

You take long steps, almost running to the front door. You can hear your heartbeats, loud and clear. This is the moment you have been anticipating from the past two weeks and it's finally happening. You turn the door knob and open the door.

There he is, looking at you with those hypnotizing eyes and then he gives you a smile and a tight hug, which is genuinely sweet with just the right amount of tenderness that unexpected warmth rushes through you.

“I missed you, Jongdae,” you mumble, hugging him as tight as your power can allow.

“It’s only been two weeks that I’ve been gone, Kara” he chuckles, enveloping you in his warmth and kissing the temple of your head.

“So you didn't miss me? I see!”

“Defense rests, I missed you so much that I didn’t want to attend the meeting and come back as soon as possible”

“Liar,” you scrunch up your nose to jut out your lower lip at him.

He shakes his head and burst out laughing. He enters, breathing in the citrus scent of the home that comes from the candles you’ve placed on every countertop. He looks at you and gives you an appreciative nod with a smile before removing his shoes and wearing his slippers.

Before he can say anything, you take off his coat and hat with his luggage to unpack and give it to the laundry “I’ve prepared the tub with hot water and essential oils with light music as you like, towels are in the middle rack with your pajamas right next to it. I know you’ll be tired and will need some relaxation, so I’ve prepared this for you, if you need anything you know I’ll be right here,”

He seems to be taken aback from all these but nod anyways. You give him a smile but before you can leave, he pulls you into a tight hug, kissing you deep and passionate. His hands in your hair keeping you as close as possible, in the process you drop his coat and hat and your hands wrap around his neck to give him all he wants.

                                                         ***

You sit down on the couch, waiting for him. Crossing your legs, you go through your phone to check any mails or texts when Jongdae suddenly puts his head on your lap, snuggling into you more. You smile, putting down your phone.

“How was your trip, Jongdae?” you ask, ruffling his hair.

“Okay,”

“It was a two week trip and all you gotta say is okay?”

Silence fill the room for minutes while you are playing with his hair. So you think he is asleep and don’t ask any further questions anymore.

“Because you were not with me,”

You chuckle. “Alright, ok so Jongdae don’t freak out from what I am about to say,”

He sits instantly, looking at you with serious eyes. “What?”

“Jongdae, I saw a strand of gray hair,” you say, pursing your lips and holding back a laughter.

“WHAT!!” he shrieks, standing abruptly, eyes wide, mouth wide open from terror or funk, you can’t decipher.

He stand at the same place in same horrific manner for couple minutes, looking like a live wax statue but can breathe. His hands are on his side loosely hanging as if not knowing what to do with them. He is not blinking and for a second you think he has lost the ability to do so.

You can hear his heartbeat, loud and clear. He’s alive, thank god. You blink, unable to think what you should do next, this is not how you thought it would turn out. It’s impassive but also funny. You keep looking at him before you gulp, hard and raise you hand to shake him from his state.

“Jongda-” before you can complete his name, he growls - loud enough for you to be surprised and terrified that you have to hold your chest to calm yourself down.

He starts pacing in circles, hands in hair - ruffling, tousling and pulling them until they are all over the place and disheveled.

“Oh my god, oh my god, oh my go- NO,” he whines, blinking rapidly and halting suddenly. He looks at you from which you are taken aback, “NO, I shouldn’t have tousled my hair, I LOST that gray hair…”

He starts pacing again, hands in air, trying to make the situation understandable to me(more like himself) looking more confused than ever, “what if you can’t find it again, wait- no, no, that can’t be,”

“Jongdae, what can’t be? What are you saying?” you ask, confused.

“You’re kidding with me, right? This is a prank, knew it, knew it Kara” he lets out a brittle laugh, stopping in his tracks to shoot a glance at you.

“I’m not kidding, this is not a prank, let me sho-”

“NO, don’t. I don’t need to see,” he yelps, before you can stand up he starts pacing again.

“I need to cut that strand of hair,” he say, rushing to the kitchen and bringing back a scissor. “No, no, they say if you cut one strand, it will be multiplied by two, no.”

“Booking my appointment at a salon, right now.” he picks up his phone, and put it right back on the coffee table, “No, dyeing will damage my hair,”

“I need to hide the gray hair,” he asserts, pointing at you, “you also help me hide it,”

“What if, what if people see it and make fun of me? What if our future kids will see and think of me” he throws a tantrum, pacing again, “no I can’t let that happen,”

“What if all of my hair turns gray now?” he covers his mouth with his one hand and holds the cough with another.

“Worse, what if I go bald?” he vouches, utterly shocked. He is bewildered, throwing hands in air in weird directions, sometimes screaming odds, sometimes whispering crazy, continuing with his circles and only stopping when he comes with his new ‘what ifs’.

You try to interrupt him, telling him to stop but he seems like his hearing ability is at stake too, he can’t seem to see you’re speaking and if he do, he don’t let you speak. You can’t think while Jongdae is pacing in front of you, it was funny at first but now, it seems it's getting out of control and you can’t do anything about it.

“Jongdae, calm down. It’s just A strand of gray hair,” you try to reason and stop him from his dramatic quarter-life crisis but failing miserably.

“Just, just? Just A gray hair? NO, IT’S NOT. Not for me, I’m getting old, oh god I’m looking old,” he unlocks his phone and checks himself on the front camera.

“Jongdae…...listen,”

“I’m looking old, I’m old, so what if...what if you leave me, what if you don’t want to be with me, Kara,” he wraps his forehead with his palms, stopping and looking in void.

“Jongdae, no-”

“What if you want to break our engagement after this and don’t want to marry me?”

“What if…”

“JONGDAE,” you shout, making him look at you and stop talking.

You stand up from the couch and walkover in front of him, as soon as he opened his mouth again, you cup his face and kisses him. It’s slow and soft, comforting him in a way words will never. He reciprocates, resting his hand below your ear and pulling you closer until your breathes mingle.

You break the kiss after couple minutes, “Jongdae, I’ll never ever leave you, I want to be with you as long as possible and I’ll marry you no matter what,” you smile, wrapping your hands around his waist.

“Are you sure?” he ask. You nod still smiling at him.

“And for our future kids, they’ll think nothing because it’s natural, also stop thinking about what’ll people think of you,” you cheer, gaining his smile.

“Ok, so now stop worrying and eat this cookie I made for you,” you say, stuffing Jongdae’s mouth with cookies.

[thedeviousdo]

Just As Usual..A Space Saga

Part Nine

Jongin let go of Sehun’s hand first, letting him raise his gun the second his feet landed on the lush green ground. He looked towards Kyungsoo when he let go of his hand, watching as he raised his palms slightly, moments later the ground below their feet started to rumble. 

“Taking us high.” Kyungsoo said, voice low with strain. 

In seconds the small clearing around the shuttle they landed near rose into the air, ten feet, twenty feet, up and up until they were nearly fifty feet in the air.

Jongin rubbed Kyungsoo’s back soothingly as he bent over, breathing heavily. “Deep breaths.”

“Jongin, put your weapon up.” Sehun said as he turned to look at the shuttle behind them. “Kyungsoo, get some boulders or something ready. I’m approaching the ship, when I give the all clear you two can join me.”

“We go together.” Jongin said once he got his gun up and at the ready.

Sehun shook his head, “Let me make sure the shuttle is clear, if something other than myself comes out, you two take it out.”

“We will.” Kyungsoo said, hands already open with large sharp pointed rocks hovered around them. He gave a stern look to Jongin when he wanted to protest again. “He’s got this, if his gun doesn’t take out whatever could be in that ship waiting for us, he could peel the skin off them with just a gust of wind if he wanted.”

Sehun gave a final nod before walking the few yards to the ship, he typed the code into the keypad and waited for the door to slide open. He scanned the inside of the shuttle, gun at the ready. 

Jongin and Kyungsoo exchanged a look when they heard Sehun give the all clear. Kyungsoo walked the small perimeter of the cliff he had created, looking down at the ground far below them just in case anyone had decided to show up. He gave a nod to Jongin before they both walked to the shuttle.

“I was really expecting some kind of trap.” Jongin said, as he made his way into the shuttle. He stopped short when he saw the dark look on Sehun’s face. He followed his eyeline just as Kyungsoo came to his side. 

“They left something else.” Sehun said in a near growl. He walked to the pilot seats where two jackets were slung over the backs of them. 

“Is that Jongdae and Junmyeon’s jackets?” Kyungsoo asked.

Sehun nodded slowly, looking over the jackets. 

“Please tell me that’s not what I think it is.” Jongin asked, a hand going to his stomach when he felt it knot uncomfortably. 

“Yes.” Sehun whispered, looking at his hands now stained red.

X

“So we know officially now that they have them.” Minseok rubbed his temples, he didn’t need to see his three crew members, friends, nod in confirmation. He saw the jackets, saw the blood, saw the drawn looks on their faces when Sehun landed the shuttle in the air hangar a few minutes ago. 

“Min, need you to take a few breaths buddy.” Jongin said from close behind him. 

Minseok opened his eyes, gasping when he saw he covered the hangar in a thin layer of sparkling ice. “Sorry.” He did as Jongin said, taking several deep calming breaths. On the last deep breath he felt the cold power in his body start to warm, the ice in the room slowly thawing.

“I see Yixing got your power back.” Sehun said, shaking frost from his shoulders. 

“Yeah, just an hour or so ago, still getting used to them.” He gave a small smile as he started walking with the other three out of the hangar. “I had Baekhyun start for a planet know of so that we can train with our powers.”

“We need training?” Sehun asked. 

“Of course we do. We had to adapt to a whole new way of living the last several years without them. It will take time to find a good flow with them again. Especially with fighting.”

Kyungsoo nodded, “I agree, it took a lot out of me when we confronted the clones, and it was a basic earthquake that I caused but I was nearly drained afterwards.”

“Weak.” Sehun said with a sly smile, nearly slipping on ice Minseok formed right below his feet.

“Anything else to report from Leavale?” Minseok asked as he tried to hide the smile forming when Sehun cursed at him.

“No nothing. We were expecting one of them to have set some trap but all we found was the jackets.” Kyungsoo said with a slight pout. He looked down at the jackets Jongin was still holding. “I like to think they put up a hell of a fight before being taken.”

“Me too.” Minseok ran his fingers over the jacket that belonged to Junmyeon. “We need to figure out where they are.”

“I can teleport to the location of the building Yixing found. Do some reconnaissance.” Jongin offered, he looked sideways at Kyungsoo when he saw him stiffen at his side. “I’m the only one that can get in and out quickly. At least see if they are there.”

Kyungsoo shook his head, “Not alone.”

“Teleporting to distant planets is hard enough on my own, taking someone with me will take too much out of me.”

“Then I fly the shuttle to the planet and we can teleport from there.” Kyungsoo said as he stopped walking and held Jongin’s arm, stopping him as well.

“We don’t need to waste that kind of time. It will be faster if I just go from wherever Min has us training to Harmaa and then back.”

Minseok and Sehun stood off to the side, letting Jongin and Kyungsoo make their arguments, both knowing it was best not to interfere. 

Kyungsoo shook his head, “It may be faster Nini, but not smarter. I go with you.”

“Don’t be as hard headed as the rocks you can control.”

“Jongin… they already have two of us and we only just got Yixing back by sheer luck. We need to be smart about this, I-we can’t lose another member of this group.”

Jongin stared at Kyungsoo for a long moment before turning to Minseok who nodded in agreement. He let out a sigh, “Fine, fly us to Harmaa and then I will scout out the building that Yixing found.”

“The planet I have us going to train on is just a few hours from Harmaa, you two take the shuttle and take a look around. I don’t think they are still there since they know Yixing is with us now, the smart thing would’ve been to move on. But we need to make sure.” Minseok said as he started to walk again. “We are a few hours from the planet, go get some rest and then take off.”

Kyungsoo gave a small nod before walking towards his quarters. Jongin watched him before turning to look at Minseok. “Have Baek send the coordinates to the shuttle's computer, we will scout out the location and meet back up with you as fast as we can.”

“Will do.” Minseok watched as Jongin started to follow after Kyungsoo. “Give him a little break, none of us can bear the thought of another one of us being taken. He’s just worried.”

Jongin nodded, “We’ll meet you as soon as we can.”

X

Jongin leaned over, hands on his knees as he took as many deep breaths as he could. “They aren’t there, it’s completely deserted.”

Kyungsoo frowned from his pilot’s chair, “Then we need to find someone that knows where they are.” He turned around, pressing a few buttons, making the shuttle's engines start up. “Chanyeol is already reaching out to some of his contacts. He thinks some of them can point us in the right direction of some Red Force ships we can commandeer.”

Jongin slumped into his chair beside Kyungsoo, “So break into one of their ships and find out where they have Junmyeon and JD.”

“Basically, yes.” Kyungsoo said as he started the shuttle towards the atmosphere. 

“And if the ship we take over doesn’t have that info?”

“Then they will tell us which ship we need to take over that will have that information.”

Jongin nodded, “Let’s get to the others. I have a feeling the Red Force knows we are hunting them, which is never a good thing.”

X

“You chose the wettest and darkest planet this side of the galaxy, Min.”

Minseok smiled from under the brim of his hooded jacket. Everywhere he looked, in every direction, it was pouring rain. They had landed the shuttle in a large clearing near a massive lake. With the rolling grey and dark blue clouds above, the water of the lake below looked nearly black, giving it an eerie feeling. It didn’t help that the lake was surrounded by glassy black walls of rock, making the whole surrounding area a dark and gloomy place. Lake didn’t have a chance to look inviting.

“We’re down two people that can control water and electricity.” Minseok smiled even bigger as a flash of lightning reflected over the onyx water. “And Krellen has what we need to train against it without them.”

“So you basically want the elements here to drown us or electrify us.” Baekhyun said, wiping long drenched bangs from his eyes.

“It’s what Junmyeon and Jongdae would be trying to do if they were here.” Minseok looked down at his belt, clicking a small button, moments later a shield shimmered and disappeared close to his body. He looked back up, “Plus this planet stays pretty dark, gives you a good opportunity to see how bright you can get.”

Sehun crossed his arms over his chest, “Do the shield belts protect against Baek sun burning us?”

Jongin clicked the button on his belt, “Only if you actually turn it on.”

“It won’t protect your eyes, so when he is training don’t look directly at him.” Yixing added as he too clicked the button on his belt.

“Split up in threes, then in a bit we will split into pairs.” Minseok watched as everyone split in half. He shook his head when Baekhyun jumped in a puddle, splashing Kyungsoo with murky water and quickly ran to the opposite side, laughing. “Yixing, for now just hang to the side and once we get into pairs you can do more hand to hand combat.”

“Is it really fair to have two against one old man?” Sehun asked with a smirk. 

Kyungsoo’s eyebrows rose slightly, “Do you really think I’d side with you to gang up on him?”

“Well… yes.” Sehun said with a tiny shrug.

“Wow, you were really really wrong.” Kyungsoo smirked as he brought his hand up. As he curled his fingers into a fist, the hard ground beneath Sehun’s feet turned to sand, instantly swallowing him up to his elbows.

“What the fu- he didn’t say to start yet!” Sehun tried wiggling his arms but the sand already turned to rock. “Let me out.”

“Let yourself out.” Kyungsoo said, crossing his arms over his chest. 

Sehun raised one perfectly sculpted eyebrow before a strong gust of wind picked Kyungsoo clean off his feet and flung him feet away. He watched as Kyungsoo landed with a loud thud before he felt the ground around him start to break free. He crawled out of the ground and got to his feet just as Kyungsoo stomped back towards them. 

“You little shit.”

Sehun smiled as he rolled his wrists in small circles, tiny cyclones of wind forming a few inches above them. “Gimme your best shot, Soo.”

Minseok stood back, letting the two throw their best, and very uncoordinated moves at each other. He let ice in his veins build, waiting for both to be so consumed in their own fight before he unleashed tiny frozen balls of ice in their direction.

TBC

Masterlist

[memesols]

Chanyeol, in the group chat: Height is a choice

Several members immediately typing back

[exo0t9-forever]

Junmyeon: Can you just listen to me for one second!

Chanyeol, matter of factly: Beans.

Everyone: *loses their damn minds*

Junmyeon: You think that's funny?

Jongdae, piping up with his hand in the air: He

Everyone: *fully loses their shit*

[crisischild92]

The Girl Code (a Chen fic)

MATURE CONTENT 18+ ONLY

Genre: Pure smut! Romance, some angst and humour

Characters: Kim Jongdae/Chen x OC

Description: To fall head over heels in love at first sight with Kim Jongdae was a wonderful thing. When he had a girlfriend? Not so much. When that girlfriend was your best friend? Add a whole other level of misery. But what if he fixed you up with his best friend? Well, that might be your salvation or turn the whole situation into one hell of a mess.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/17383481

[xiuchen-world]

swimming pool

Xiuchen standing infront of a pool on a hot summer day...

Jongdae: I can’t wait to jump into that pool~

Minseok: But Jongdae it’s way to deep for you

Jongdae:    ..........

Minsek: Jongdae listen... I’m not gonna be your inner tube 

[mybiasisexo]

This thought kept randomly popping in my head today, so much so that I have to ask it to get out of my system, so pls humor me lol.

Since the exos were just young adults when they debuted (18-22 yrs old) and were even younger when they became trainees (like 14-19ish), when do you think they lost their virginities? And how do you think they did so? Like with a steady gf or on a one night stand? Or fwb?

And taking this a step further, who do you think has the highest body count among them?

Obviously it’s none of our business lol, but the human mind works in mysterious ways.

Btw, Feel free to ignore this if u don’t feel comfortable answering.

Hope you have a great day/night!

Girl 😭😭😭 your mind really do be whirring

I don’t think about those things and imma keep it that way, in my mind they are all both virgins and fuckboys lmaoooo even jongdae with his fiftyleven kids ���

I can’t imagine any of them being too slutty but yeol gives player…it’s the sagittarius I fear 🤷🏾‍♀️. Tho I feel they’d surprise us. Who knows they say it’s always the quiet ones that are the freakiest, maybe minseok and xing get around the most 👀

[forgivemyevilsins]

Hello, yes. IS THIS THE POLICE?

You see, an assault has happened and i’m very panicked right now and i really don’t know what to do...

If you could come down quickly, i’m right at Blooming Day Centre, along CBX Avenue 10. 

Erm...er, the suspect...suspect has ble-bleached hair and was shouting something along the lines of...of.....‘KKAEBSONG’ after he shot the victim with a slingshot and now the victim is on the ground, unmoving.....

Er...the victim...the victim, he’s up now...he’s..he’s looking at the suspect...

AH WAEEEE

[geostigmakid]

If I combine Chanyeol's fire with my lightning, I bet it would be 'electri-fire-ing', ya know what am saying?

Kim Jongdae- you can’t get enough of him

[memedbts]

me when i get 25/27 pts on a test

[astroyongie]

Can you do exo ideal types?? 🙏🏼

EXO Ideal Types

Minseok

His ideal type are people that are usual to him

Like someone the complete opposite of what people expects him to have

Someone who isn't conventional

Who isn't in the beauty patterns of Korea

Minseok would enjoy someone that has usual features to their face or their body

Chubby or curvy would be his ideal as well

Could definitely date a non Korean

When it comes to their personality, someone that likes adventures

Someone that isn't too much into technologies

That enjoys quality time

That has a soft and tender yet fixed and organized personality

Libra Sun, Virgo moon

Junmyeon

Physically, Junmyeon is attracted to pretty people

His ideal type is someone that is written on the beauty standard

Someone with a long and strong nose

Someone that has a soft voice

With a pretty neck line and collarbone

In personality he wants someone that eats well

His ideal type is someone jealous and possessive of him

Someone with money and stability

But that still lets him lead with the economy

Someone that would be entirely his and that won't mind his clinginess

Sagittarius Sun, Pisces Moon

Yixing

Appearance isn't that much important for Yixing

However he still is more attracted to people that are clean and organized on themselves

Someone that dresses well

That have a nice posture

With gentle and pretty eyes

Someone that knows how to do their makeup

Yixing also prefers partners that are more for the skinny type

In personality, someone who is hardworking like him

Someone that knows how tot are care of home

That cooks, cleans

But who is also authoritative and stable

That controls their emotions and aren't the emotive type

His ideal partner is someone that can be stable by his side and keep him in the right track with work and family

Aries Sun, Aries Moon

Baekhyun

His ideal type is someone very beautiful

Visual like, people that are in the beauty pattern of Korea

Even if he doesn't care much about the appearance he still his attracted to pretty people in his eyes

Physically, someone medium height, light brown long hair, strong facial features, with an exposed neck line

If the person talks very distantly, has a mannerism of speech it's even better

He is attracted to honey like voices

People with deep eyes too

Personality wise he prefers people that are emotionally and financially stable

People hardworking that know how to take care of themselves

That are spiritual yet down to earth

People that are loyal and his only

So better don't mind a bit of jealousy here and there

Scorpio Sun, Sagittarius Moon

Jongdae

Chen's ideal type is someone very seductive and pretty

He is attracted to people that have a good sense of fashion

That have pretty faces and bodies

That take care of their appearance and who are mature, cute, yet sensual at the same time

Someone that plays in both sides

Without lies, his ideal type is someone with a nice and firm backside

So a nice round butt is a okay go for him

Personality wise, he likes people that are just and fair

People that don't lie, that are certain and sure of themselves with self confidence

Someone with a good sense of humor, that can play around and jokes around without being too hurt each time

Someone that would be loyal with him

A pretty partner with their head on their shoulders, with a kind heart and the same political and ethics than him

Pisces Sun, Capricorn Moon

Chanyeol

Chanyeol doesn't care about the physical appearance

As long as the person dresses well and has a minimum of self respect

Beauty is subjective for him and it's not the first thing he seeks

The only thing he would like is a partner with nice and firm legs

With nice hair and skin but Chanyeol doesn't have any proper ideal type physically

He just needs to find them pretty to his own eyes

In personality, he needs someone that is very hardworking too

Someone with a fixed job, good money and knows how tot stay organized and proper

His ideal type takes care of things just like him and they put their job and their passions first

Someone that can laugh yet be serious at the same time

A mature person to bring him stability

Gemini Sun, Cancer Moon

Kyungsoo

He has a particular ideal type In mind

And thus, he have a lot of standard and exceptions

Kyungsoo would want someone that is cute and gentle

Someone with a pretty and dream like face

That isn't too chubby nor too skinny

Someone tall, with nice hair, unusual and wanted by many

His ideal type is physically attractive, not too sensual or vulgar

Personality wise there's a lot of points too

Someone seductive yet very shy and quiet in their space

Smart, gentle, with a nice speech, spiritual yet also very logical

That understands people, are empathic and problem solver

Cancer Sun, Pisces Moon

Jongin

Just Like Chanyeol he doesn't care much about appearance

Because he finds people pretty with no concept whatsoever

So again, just someone that is clean on themselves

That have a certain fashion sense, that take care of their skin and their hair, and take care of their body and mind

It's the only physical things he cares about

Someone just healthy to his eyes

Personality wise, he needs someone that is stable in their life

That know how to deal with money and that are close to their work and share the same passions

Someone that is mature and adult so they can be a stable couple

Because Jeongin wouldn't be into people too immature

Having fun is good, but he needs someone that has the same tendencies than him and understands his work and responsibilities

Cancer Sun, Leo Moon

Sehun

Pretty much like Suho and Baekhyun

Sehun ideal type is someone beautiful

Someone that is on the beauty standards and that take care of themselves

But not the sensual pretty type, but more the classy pretty

Someone with a sensual voice, that can speak several tongues

With a strong head and neck

His ideal type is also someone stubborn, that can argue with him

That listens to his pillow talk

Who won't mind a bit of jealousy and possessivity in the couple

And that won't mind his way of being

Someone that eats well and take care of themselves

Fun, stable in their professional life with a strong character

[minniendaedae]

Jongin: I want chicken.

Kyungsoo: I'll be your chicken.

Baek: I can't even with you two.

Chanyeol: Baek? Can you grab my tie?

Baek: Of course hon! *Sends finger hearts across the room*

Jongdae: And he says Kai and D.O are gross...

Minseok: I mean you're not exactly in a place to talk.

Jongdae: ...

Jongdae: Right so where are we going for our date tonight babe?