#jokey discourse

[vaxyl]

Thinking about Vax'ildan.

Thinking about Vax and hair.

Thinking about a small child running to his mother crying because a bigger kid pushed him into the Gladepools and his hair is all messed up now.

Thinking of him sat in front of the fire as his mother dries and untangles his hair, singing to him in her mother's tongue.

Thinking of him and his sister sitting on stools at the kitchen table waiting impatiently as their mother braids their hair all prettily for the Harvest Close Fair, the pair giggling and kicking their feet as they're asked to "please sit still for just another minute, you two."

Thinking about Vax asking to brush his mother's hair and braid it, so she teaches him how to do it and Vex asks him to braid her hair as well.

When Syldor takes the twins, aged 10, to Syngorn, he forces them to have their hair cut according to Syngorn's bizarre Family Hierarchy Hair Rules;

waist length hair is indicative of political status

hair just above the waist is indicative of being the head of your household

just above the elbow length is indicative of being the household heir

just below the shoulder length is indicative of being respected by your household

hair that's shoulder length exactly is indicative of being from a wealthy household but of having little respect

just below chin length but just above shoulder length is indicative of you coming from a non-wealthy family

hair at chin length or shorter than chin length is indicative that you have been disowned by your family's household

Syldor has waist length silky black hair, which he usually leaves undecorated unless he's hosting or attending a ball

Vax also has silky black hair, Syldor having it cut from just above the elbows up to exactly shoulder length - while Vex has curly brown hair that had also been just above the elbows before it was also forcibly cut to shoulder length exactly

Vax would continue to help his sister with her hair, brushing it and braiding it for her

Whilst Vex slowly earned a modicum of respect through her hard work at school, her hair allowed to grow longer, Vax never gained any respect as he flunked his classes and started to act out, so he had to keep his hair shoulder length

By the age of 16, Vex had her hair back to just above her elbows to show that she's now the household heir - while Vax has rebelled and cut his hair into a choppy pixie cut in an attempt to piss off Syldor

He's forced to wear a wig to social events and he's banned from using sharp objects, but its worth it to him

When the twins run away from Syngorn and end up living in the woods when Byroden is gone, Vex has Vax cut her hair to match his as a symbol of her love for him and Vax cries while doing so because his sister's hair is so important to her

from then onwards, Vax comes to consider both of their hair as incredibly sacred to him, taking as good of care as he can of both of their hair even while living out in the wilderness

they both grow their hair out to be waist length, almost as if to spite Syldor and Syngorn

Vax braids Vex's hair in a way that protects and maintains her curls, while he likes to decorate his hair with small braids with colourful beads through them

When they join Vox Machina, Vax accidentally becomes the resident hairstylist as well as the resident cook - Scanlan, Pike and Keyleth all go to him for hair cuts, hair styling & help with shaving properly

Percy wouldn't start asking for his help too until after they've dealt with the Briarwoods and freed Cassandra & Whitestone

Cassandra also goes to Vax for help with her hair, having him cut it to her shoulders for her after years of Delilah not letting her style it how she wants to

when Grog gets the belt and grows a beard, Vax helps him to style and maintain it

Vax and Gilmore do each other's hair, teaching each other different styles and hair care tips as they gossip - just two boyfriends who have "caring for the other's hair" as a love language, so cute!

Vax and Allura, who are best friends with messy feelings in my fanon, love to gossip over tea and take turns braiding each others hair as they do

and I can so see Vax starting a hairdressing salon in the back of the 2nd floor of Gil's shop

just...Vax'ildan and hair 😭

(I will never forgive TLOVM for the fuckass ugly hair they gave Vax, let him have pretty hair!!!)

[mukuberry]

How can you say things like "forcemasc is stupid because masculinity is seen as inherently good" and not realise that you know absolutely nothing about the transmasc experience. Do you hear yourselves

[the-meme-monarch]

yeah that ship is fine it's whatever (<- hates it badly but doesn't have any reason to and doesn't want to seem like an ass over it)

[vonlipvig]

saw a tiktok of a guy saying that he kinda got annoyed when he bought something online and they made him scroll all the way down to select 'united states of america', and then all of the comments agreeing, and it pissed me off so much. soooo much. everyday i pray for the downfall of the united states of america.

[vrsenus]

Athena our fav problematic EAH acc, making a jokey joke that made everyone in this fandom crawl outta their cave🙏🏽

[starlitsequins]

caitvi had sex and it still wasnt as gay as whatever tf was going on with jayce and viktor

[avoidantcreachure]

saw a reply on a post by an avpd blog that said something like “those people aren’t real good friends!! you should find people who-“ and i was like i’m gonna cut you off right there, not being able to do that is like my central character aspect… that’s the name of the disorder

[box-dwelling]

Maya used the Agency computer to talk on the steel samurai Facebook page one day after a really divisive episode airs . She suddenly gets super mad and starts crying because someone on there suicide baited her. Phoenix comforts her and tells her their probably just a friendless loser.

That evening he comes home and Miles has fallen asleep with his laptop open and still on. Phoenix takes it off his lap to turn it off and is immediately met with this on the screen.

He wakes his boyfriend up and marches him down to Maya's apartment to apologize and have a long talk about why he of all people should know not to do that.

[menlove]

like actually yes I am pretty pissed off about this whole thing. nowhere not once in my post did I mention anything about feminine women being the issue. not once. literally all I said was, essentially, "feminine men and masculine women are not accepted and adored by society" that's it. that's the post. and yet everyone and their brother is crawling out like weevils to go off in the tags about how as a feminine woman they feel attacked

listen very very closely. a post supporting one group is not automatically attacking the other group. if you feel left out, make your own positivity post. that's great. I will even reblog that post from you. but if a post says "I really love cats" you getting on there like "what did dogs ever do to you? dogs aren't the problem why do you hate dogs so much? I wish everyone could like dogs or cats and shut the fuck up about hating dogs" is doing literally nothing but annoying op

[ciderjacks]

“Aw man this drawing I spend hours on only got 11 likes, and only 1 rb! This sucks I’m so discouraged” or “wow, 11 whole people liked my work, and one person liked it so much they wanted to share it!” Which way online artist

[mypimpademia]

why i come back on here and some bull happenin’ 😭

it literally was never that deep 💀 let’s use our comprehension skills y’all !!! cause they missed the entire point of what you said

Cuz it’s tumblr and it’s always something happening😭 but no really good the og post was a joke and either way they missed the actual underlying message so that whole thing just made no sense💀

[funnywormz]

im part way through s3 of red dwarf and honestly my one main criticism of it (aside from like. the misogyny stuff) is that it's started to reach a point where it stops being funny seeing rimmer get dumped on. like yeah he sucks but man......... literally all of the characters talk openly abt hating him and are roasting him 24/7 and he's fully aware of it and just seems miserable and like he hates himself too.

at this point i get no cathartic enjoyment or humour out of sitting through another 5 minute long gag abt how everyone hates rimmer so much and how he sucks and is awful. he's just rlly pathetic at this point and not in a funny way........ like this dude is living in a personal hell of his own making. scenes with him make me feel like im looking at a sad damp rat. he seems to exist purely just to suffer. the show is very very funny but honestly a lot of the gags at his expense kill the mood for me now. i just feel sorry for the guy at this point can someone be nice to him for once

[twipsai]

every time ppl talk about idw's writing making Sonic kinder i wanna just throw all the moments where hes a piece of shit out there in the wild but. no. i shant

[mr-ribbit]

something fascinating to me about egg discourse is how often tme people Also joke about or question their friends potential to be trans, and it's literally never talked about like this.

my cis and tme nb friends routinely joke about celebrities or characters that have big "nonbinary energy" or who otherwise exhibit behavior we would associate with ourselves. i have tme friends and acquaintances who have approached me or my wife and straightforwardly said "something seems trans about you, have I asked for your pronouns recently?"

similar friends have even talked about other still-cis friends in our circle this way, or joked about "when are you going to transition like the rest of us?" or "yeah cis people are a minority in this group, just give it time" or "no wonder you have queer friends with how comfortable with being gnc you are" or etc etc examples like that

even the actual examples of people in my life that I can think of as being the most "invasive" or presumptive about gender have been tme people:

it was my cishet friends who outed me and my wife as trans to everyone at their wedding, including their boomer parents and hundreds of strangers, and called it "the most queer wedding party ever"

it was my tme nb friend who kept saying they could "always tell" her transfem cousin was trans before she came out, and then proceeded to randomly give us extremely personal details about her bottom surgery

it was my transmasc friend who refused to call me and my wife anything other than "little enby beans" after we met and introduced us with our full genders+sexuality labels to every single person one by one at a party

it was my transmasc nb friend who kept insisting my wife could "still be nonbinary" when she was first considering identifying as a trans woman instead, and it was THAT idea that actually slowed her down from making changes to her life that she wanted

it was my cis friends who approached me arm and arm and cornered my outside of a bathroom at a party right after I took a piss to suddenly ask me what my pronouns were because they "heard something" at the party

like, transfems deserve robust support against this trash so a lot of our defensive discourse has ofc been about how it IS okay for transfems to talk about eggs and be jokey about it and non-invasively approach others about being trans

but i swear to god none of these weird people have even stopped to make their discourse ABOUT anyone BUT transfems. it's so clearly targeted!!

no one has EVER approached *me* as a tme nb person and suggested i was pressuring gnc people with my egg jokes. never. nothing even remotely similar. i joke about other people being trans all the time and no one has ever treated me the way you all are treating transfems over this issue.

important note: my examples are all things I recall as being invasive and awkward, and I'm sharing them to make a point about how often rude behavior comes from the same tme people pointing fingers over this. but I still don't think any of them are worth the crucifixion people are treating transfem egg discourse with.

even when my friends were weird to me in the above examples, my reaction was either to confront them about it as friends who I trust to be able to communicate with, or to cut those individuals off after they proved not worth a relationship in the long run. at no time did I desire to make a call-out post or spread rumors about them or publicly declare all of their gender as a screeching menace to society.

my point here is that even when I do think about moments where others crossed a line, acting like this is a "issue trans women have" is blatantly transmisogynistic garbage that only exists to serve the woman-hating machine at the heart of our society. fucking cut it out

[womendeservehumanity]

Posting these memes because left leaning political twitter is having the most mind numbing discourse on whether rapists deserve to die (yes) and can they be rehabilitated (no). And leftists are treating rapists as some type of persecuted class who need their defense when if you look at the stats most rapists are free. They were never even reported for their crimes. They get lenient sentences and are able to be reintegrated into society. And that’s if they’re sentenced at all. You’d think they’re being experimented on and being sent to the gulag the way any person gets dogpiled onto for saying something bad should happen to rapists right now.

Like why are using this dumb fucking meme because someone made a little jokey joke that rapists should get their dicks cut off? Why does that bother you so much when globally, rape culture DOMINATES? Rapists are enabled and protected. But a tweet showing them vitriol is where you draw the line? Also this person never stated their stance on rehabilitation to begin with. You, again, just got mad because someone said something bad should happen to rapists. But what a shocker that the violent crime that mainly targets women and has been used historically to control and harm them is the hill mainly male leftists wanna die on. They’re not even willing to acknowledge the misogynistic element in most rapes and how those rapists hate women and that largely plays a role in why they rape. The desire to control and hurt a woman. They’ll be like guillotine landlords. Punch a nazi/white supremacist in the face. But saying any harm should be done to rapists is where they draw the line and I’m not supposed to find that insane? 

[velvetvexations]

hi velvet, i hope this ask finds you well. something happened to me irl a month or two ago and i just cant stop thinking about it, it just shocked and frustrated me so much

so i was hanging out with a couple of my friends (a cis guy who i will call S and two transfems, M and B) at M and B's dorm room, and we were all having a good time, horsing around for a bit and then we eventually got to talking about M's family and their reaction to her being queer and trans. her parents are a little weird about it but supportive enough that she's allowed to openly wear what she wants and date who she wants. after she was done sharing i shared a little bit about my family (very unsupportive, i never plan on coming out to them or sharing anything about my love life to them in any way if i can help it. i am 3 months on T and i plan on never telling them, if the topic of it comes up im just gonna straight up lie.)

after i shared a bit she kind of interrupted me and said "at least you get the short end of the trans stick you know?" and i asked her "huh what are you talking about" "you know, us trans girls they just kill us they kind of just leave you alone (in a sort of jokey tone)" and i looked at S and B to gauge their reactions and they both looked really uncomfortable and like they didn't know what to say. so i said "no?? they kill us too" B and S nodded a little bit and then M said "yeah but they like give you some extra time first at least (laughing nervously a bit)" "yeah thats when they're raping us, corrective rape is a huge issue for trans men" (in hindsight this was fucked up to say but i was upset and wanted to point out that trans men don't get extra grace from transphobes) and then we changed the subject

that whole interaction has really stuck with me, it really really sucked to have TRF rhetoric literally said to my face by someone who i really like and respect and love spending time with :(( ive talked to S about it a couple of times to try and get it off my chest but understandably he stays out of trans infighting discourse so he's just like "yeah that was weird it's understandable that it hurt your feelings" and thats all he has to say on the matter and i havent talked to B about the incident bc M is its roommate and best friend and i don't wanna split hairs but it's refreshing that it agreed with me in the moment

i just don't know that was a shitty moment that happened for sure

I'm very sorry, anon. I'm gullible and always looking for the best in people, but also in case it might help you process it, it sounds like maybe she realized she said something massively wrong and awkwardly tried to walk it back with a joke that made it worse? Like she is not necessarily a complete apricot-aligator which, I know, low bar, but. IDK maybe talk to her about it? Hopefully she'd understand and yall would be able to clear the air.