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shititbe · 3 years ago

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Anyway, HSM2 is about internalized homophobia, and no one can tell me otherwise.

High School Musical is one of the most beloved franchises in the world. Teenagers all over the world grew up watching Troy and Gabriella harmonize together. Three movies, and nearly a decade later it’s still beloved by all. The first film easily forgotten in the ashes of the early 2000’s, the third film stuck in a purgatorial limbo of the rather unfortunate late 2000’s. The second film on the other hand sticks out between the ruckus.

The second High School Musical film takes place at Sharpay and Ryan’s family country club, during the summer between junior and senior year. The Wildcats are working summer jobs on the country club, often forced to the beck and call of Ryan and Sharpay themselves. Sharpay uses all her prestige to help Troy with college instead of starting at the bottom ( or rather, in the kitchen washing dishes) with his friends. In the time she’s helping Troy, she is also pushing her brother away; replacing him with Troy in their musical number for the talent show, and refusing to hang out with him in preference for Troy. Ryan becomes vengeful to his twin and starts hanging around the Wildcats in the kitchen. At first, he was met with some distasteful looks and words (most of which from Chad). With the help of Kelsey, and her neutral party, Ryan fits in smoothly with the other teenagers, eventually giving the WildCats all dance lessons.

Throughout the movie, the main conflict continues to be the internal conflict of Troy Bolton. He debates over and over again if he should go through with Sharpay’s shenanigans, or if he wants to “listen to my own heart.” This of course involves Gabriella, as she is Troy’s love interest. She’s not in the second film except for the beginning, then, where she leaves in the middle of the film - in order to create angst for Troy - then when she shows up again in the finally to sing/rejoin Troy.

The conflict in the second film is the combining of Troy’s two worlds. His first - his main world in the first movie, that hence became his secondary world - which is represented by Chad. Then his secondary world - which becomes his main world in this movie - which is represented by Ryan. Chad represents Troy’s masculinity, or his more idealized version of himself. Ryan represents Troy’s femininity or his current version of reality. These two worlds collide in the iconic song “I don’t dance”.

Since this movie - and hence this scene - came out in the early 2000’s, a lot of the innuendoes went over people's heads. Luckily, as the children who watched this movie grew older and more experienced, and the world became more accepting, we’re able to see this song for what it is.

Before getting into the lore and symbolism of the iconic “I Don’t Dance” sequence, context is needed. For most of human history, homosexuality was seen as a sin in all places except ancient times (see: Greece and Japan). The modern age is the most accepting on all fronts, such as sexual orientation, race, and religion. In the early 2000’s, High School Musical director Kenny Ortega was not publicialy out yet. He wouldn’t be till 2014.

Originally, while writing this, my first thought was that Kenny - the director - would be using Troy as a y/n type character to project his insecurities and struggles with masculinity, and what that means in defining his orientation and societal views that would be placed upon him. Then, it came to me later that this is in fact not the case, Troy (and Gabriella - who is in fact a y/n character for the female audience) is more of a character for a man of his time, confused with his own ideals of masculinity and the views of society because, “oh god, I can’t like theater/drama because only queer people and girls like it!” The second point is pushed further with the Troy and Sharpay sub-plot. Sharpay tries to further Troy’s career as a basketball player, though that’s not what he wants anymore, and Troy is no longer sure if that is what he ever wanted to begin with (enter the song “Bet on it” and the hilarious meme “no dad, I’m giving up on your dream”).

Keeping these things in mind - Kenney’s queerness, and Troy’s struggle to realize you can in fact sing and be a heterosexual, wow, revolutionary - it became clear to me that Kenney’s y/n characters were Ryan and Chad.

For those who aren’t into the arts, or find them too difficult after a singular attempt thinking they could write a world class novel on the first go, let me be the first to tell you every author has a y/n character. First, for those who don’t know what y/n stands for, it’s a popular fanfiction trope where a writer will write a story about a character dating, being friends, and so on, with the reader. The y/n stands for “your name” so anyone can be the main character in this story at any time. For a writer of mainstream fictional work, such as High School Musical, Game Of Thrones, Lord Of The Rings, Pride and Prejudice, Harry Potter, Hunger Games, even most comics. Now, most writers or directors aren’t going to be as obvious as having a character not named (or named y/n) or even named Jane (looking at you Jane Austin), the y/n character of many mainstream authors/directors/comic artists and so on is usually the character they feel or have given the most attributes similar to themselves.

It’s the same reason people have favourite characters. You see a fictional character and you either 1. Want to Bob the Builder them, 2. Some sort of weird sex thing, or 3. See more/the most of yourself in this character. Number three - thankfully - is usually the main reason. Some people just create their own favourite characters. An even easier way to think about this, is just projection baby, that’s psych 101.

Before I went off on a small tangent of fictional works and how human emotion plays into creating them (except anything Disney has made in the past decade, and no you can’t change my mind on that) I mentioned that Chad and Ryan are Kenney’s y/n characters. As a queer person myself, it’s clear for me to see the different struggles each of these characters face and how these reflect the queer experience.

So, let’s finally get into it.

Ryan, without it being explicitly said is clearly a character of what people in the early 2000s think a gay man is. He is effeminate, wearing bright coloured outfits with lots of accessories - namely his signature hats - he is also in the theater department doing musicals, and passive/subservient to any of his twin sisters' wills. Yes, now we know gay men aren’t just feminized men, but in the early 2000’s a gay man who can do "masculine" things like change their car oil, like sports, and so on, break the "effeminate" stereotype thus confused many cishet people. Sharpay is painted as more confident - or, for sake of comparability - masculine to her twin in the first movie, and most of the second movie. Making Ryan a bit of her dog who would do anything to get by - painting Ryan as lesser than human, once more, playing into the homophobia of the early 2000's.

Despite the clear stereotypes playing into his character, Ryan is consistently one of the most confident characters in the movie. The other, being his sister of course. This confidence in himself is what gravitates the other characters towards him, either by being intimidated (Troy, thinking Ryan and Gabriella were a thing), or admiration (Chad, by the end of “I don’t dance”).

Chad, on the other hand, is a whole different ball game. While he is confident in the first movie, and the first portion of the second movie, he begins to break more and more when Ryan becomes a more integral part of the Wildcat group. To keep in mind, Chad is also the most vocal about his distaste for Troy’s artistic past-time. When the other Wildcats join Ryan and begin learning how to dance for the talent show at the end of the movie, Chad is also the most vocal about his distaste. The baseball game where “I don’t dance” takes place, is the climax of Chad’s arc and his turn towards acceptance to Ryan/Troy’s hobbies.

Of course, there is more to the “I don’t dance” sequence than just Chad’s realization - the exact one Troy comes to terms with in the second movie as well - of “oh my god I don’t have to be gay to enjoy stereotypical ‘feminine’ things.” That is the main part of the song though, that and all the sexual tension.

Going back to what I’ve stated previously, Chad and Ryan are Kenney’s projection or y/n characters. Let me do a small recap before we get into the nitty gritty of the famous “I don’t dance” video.

Thinking back to the first few paragraphs, I stated that Kenney wasn’t publicly out till 2014, about 7 years after the second movie came out. This could be due to the fact that a) it’s the early 2000’s and everyones still very homophobic, or b) self-doubt that comes with the queer experience. The most likely reason is a mixture of both of these. Because of this, Ryan is the more self-assured version, or idealized version of Kenney that he wants to be. Ryan is confident, never being swayed about his lifestyle (could be read as: sexuality) even though Chad - and most of the wildcats in the first movie - put him through relentless “teasing” and humiliation. He’s confident, almost to a fault, he’s sure of himself, and yet still reaches out a hand to Chad and the other wildcats to show them that they’re just being, kinda dick-ish.

Every queer person wants to be Ryan. Despite his heavily stereotyped characterization, I personally believe he is one of the stronger written characters in the movies, mainly due to Kenney putting the time in to really make Ryan feel like a real person, to give himself some sort of relief of his own anxieties, a chance to see the world through a person who truly has no fear. Unlike Kenney himself.

This is where Chad comes in.

Chad is seen as “confident” in the first movie, the second Troy “leaves” basketball though, all that confidence comes crashing down. His best friend has another hobby - one he thinks is “not right” (it’s okay, you can say gay), - they wont be spending all their time together (first, can you say dependent relationship much, yikes).Chad’s defining characteristic up until their fight that instigate act three of the second movie, is being Troy’s best friend. I’m going to take this as if this were truly the case, and not a decently written character arch. Some people base themselves around their friends and their whole identity on being a friend, that they lose sight of themselves, this mainly in high school of course, when your whole world is really nothing but school, and friends. Newly developed independence is there, but that’s scary, so instead of worrying about the future, cling to something that’s reliable. I’ve seen this happen, mainly at the end of high school, when the “real world” is coming a bit too close for comfort. This could generally be the case if a person is lonely, but for timeline sake I’m going to say Chad has got some anxiety about graduating (considering the second movie takes place the summer of junior year).

His lashing out at Troy’s hobbies and at Troy’s neglectful friendship, make more sense with that background, and are seen more in the second movie where Troy begins spending all his spare time with Sharpay (trying to collect that BAG!). Chad - and others (read: father) - insists that music is not a feasible career option, and Troy should just stick with basketball (like...that is a feasible career option). The tension Chad creates in the studio only grows when the other wildcats decide to take up Ryan’s offer for dance lessons and move from the kitchen, to helping out with the talent show. (Next essay idea: how high school musical two was really about class all along, cause Jesus).

Chad is the less obvious option for a y/n character. Though again, the 2000’s were not as cool people like to pretend they are. Chad - for Kenney - represents what he actually feels, this fear of being rejected for how he is and how he chooses to live his life/lifestyle, so he sticks to something reliable. Ryan is new, and exciting, and confident in a way that Kenney/Chad wish they could be, but in order for that to happen they need to understand that maybe people are complex creatures, and can enjoy multiple hobbies (aka: the same lesson Troy is teaching the viewers, but far less boring). But, for Kenney/Chad facing that thought and that realization is scary, and thus, they lash out at anyone (read this paragraph as: Chad mad jealous of Ryan cause Ryan bomb as fuck).

All this build up, finally comes ahead in the employee baseball match

******

The baseball game is probably the most memorable scene in the whole High School Musical franchise (minus Sharpay’s “Fabulous” solo, but that’s also from the same movie, and it’s kinda rude to give what’s already the best more points); the tension in the scene, and what it implies makes it the best written segment of all three movies, let alone the most entertaining.

Some things to keep in mind from our background information: Chad is missing his bestie and struggling with what being “masculine” really means for him and others. Ryan of course makes this confusing, because the traditional method is being thrown out the window. In short, Chad has internalized homophobia, and Ryan being open - or as open as Disney would let him - is causing all sorts of problems.

Despite the song, “I don’t dance” being logged into our collective skulls for all eternity (you’re probably humming it right now, sorry about that), the very brief interaction of Ryan and Chad before the game is lost on the public consciousness. The two are clearly comfortable with each other, though the distaste seems to be on Chad’s side more than Ryans. So, the two start playfully jabbing at each other before deciding to do a bat toss to see who will be in the outfield first.

Before they begin the bat toss, Ryan says “You don’t think dancing takes some game?” Chad then very clearly checks him out, doing a simple but effective ‘drag-your-eyes-over-them-top-to-bottom-then-smile’ and says “you got game?” (Seen in gif below)

I don’t know how much you know about sex metaphors and how many of those baseball has in it (seriously though, it’s a lot), but with the bat toss, Ryan’s hand ended up on top, and Chad’s under Ryan’s. Let’s ignore this for now, it’ll be implied again later. Ryan’s team starts out in the outfield because he won the bat toss, and hence, the song officially starts.

The first lyrics (ignoring the chores of “hey batter batter, hey batter batter, swing”) is

I'll show you that it's one and the same

Baseball, dancing, same game

It's easy

Step up to the place, start swingin

This part is sung by Ryan, who is taunting Chad out in the outfield. Before the game, as stated, Chad was taunting Ryan about his lack of “game” (both sexual and not sexual metaphor are implied), and now, Ryan has turned those tables around. Baseball - is seen as more masculine than dancing, not as masculine as football or basketball, but it’s up there. Chad is someone who cares about his masculinity, enough to the point that Ryan playing baseball makes him loose his mind. Makes him question his own personal definition of masculinity, if you will.

Ryan says, “baseball, dancing, same game,” impyling that, to him, baseball and dancing are one and the same. That is baffling to Chad, cause well, how can something meant for girls even be close to something meant for boys.

Chad comes back with:

I wanna play ball now, and that's all

This is what I do

It ain't no dance that you can show me, yeah

This only proves my previous point.

I had a conversation with myself about this, and I’ve decided not to include it in this essay, but a second essay may or may not be possible. Basically the premise - the dancing/”musical” moments of High School Musical are conjured up images by those meant to see them (ie: like a visual hallucination, but, not really) but this scene kinda poo-poos that idea.

Now, the thing I am talking about is Ryan and Chad’s peacocking at each other during the time they sing these lyrics. The movements they’re making could be mistaken for dancing - as we automatically assume it is because of the title and themes of the movie - or it could be them just getting ready for the baseball game. Ryan swings his leg over the pitcher's mound, tossing the ball up and down into his glove, making wavy hand gestures, etc. Chad brushes off his gloves, swings his legs, hits the bat on each foot, and so on.

For the peacocking, Chad makes a mock of the ballerina foot stance before strutting over to the home plate. Ryan laughs at this, which earns quite the smirk from Chad himself (see gif below).

This is when it becomes a conversation.

You'll never know - R

Oh I know - Ch

If you never try - R

There's just one little thing - Ch

That stops me every time, yeah - Ch

Come on - Ch

When Chad says “Come on” it’s when Ryan throws the baseball at him, starting the game, and giving Chad’s team their first strike of the game (get it, it’s funny). Now, obviously we need to talk about the “there’s just one little thing that stops me every time.” As a queer person, I assure you, two of the things that kept me from living my Best Life were 1) my own ignorance of what asexuality was and 2) the fear that everyone I love would hate me for who I am, and what I have no control over.

Sorry to get deep like that on main, but, can any other queer person say different? Obviously, your first point may differ, but my point still stands. In the video/scene there is a very short moment (to which I have condensed into a gif for you all, you’re welcome, and I’m sorry about the quality in advance), of the camera moving over to Chad’s team (or his friends in this case since it’s an employee baseball game) as he says this line (gif below).

I will not be explaining the use of subtly in this essay, but I’m sure you get the metaphor Kenney is trying to use. If not, let me spell it out for you in very simple words. This song has a lot of sexual innuendos (as mentioned pervious with the baseball bat scene and still, more to come), with that in mind, and clearly queer themes at play (as mentioned before, again), this scene only shows Chad isn’t as straight as he leads on. His fear/phobia of Ryan/the arts come from a much deeper place.

In shorter, and much simpler terms: Chad queer.

But, let’s get back to the boy's conversation.

I don't dance - Ch

I know you can - R

Not a chance, no - Ch

If I could do this, well, you could do that - R

Translation: “If I can do this weird, sweaty, dirty, Male thing without blowing a fuse, you can and should be able to dance just fine.”

But I don't dance - Ch

Hit it out of the park - Both

I don't dance - Ch

I say you can - R

There's not a chance, oh - Ch

Slide home, you score, swingin on the dance floor - Both

I don't dance, no - Ch (This is just the chores, you’ll see it multiple times throughout the essay, I just figured if the song is going to be in your head, go all the way right).

Two-steppin, now you're up to bat - R

Bases loaded, do your dance - R

Here we are with the baseball metaphors you’ve all been waiting for ladies and gentlemen. Girls, gays, and non-binary pals. For those who have somehow managed a sheltered existence with access to the internet, lemme help you. Ryan is talking about “loaded bases” both in the context of the game (where it shows each base has one person from Chad’s team on them) and in the term of sex. While you go out there dating - while it’s mostly douche bags and people using it ironically - your nosey friends may ask you how far you got.

“First, second, or third base?” They may ask. Or something like, “oh wow, did you get to home plate/base?” These are simply the rankings of the stages of a sexual relationship. First - kissing, sometimes just handholding, Second - making out, some light groping, Third - full on groping, no clothes come off, but it gets close. While each person has different boundaries, these are the general accepted definitions for the bases.

Home base is obviously full blown sexual intercourse. Since Chad has his “bases loaded” it means he’s done all these things before, just never gone completely to sexual intercourse with someone - in the terms of the song and the history we’ve already established, it’s most likely a male character. This is only proven by Chad’s uncomfortable nature towards Ryan (internalized Homophobia, thank you, returning theme) but his easy, and cocky personality towards everyone else. “bUt thAt DoEsnT pRovE” hush, that’s the final cherry on top. Remember this conversation.

It's easy - R

Again. Previous points have been made.

Take your best shot, just hit it - Ch

I've got what it takes, playin my game - Ch

So you better spin that pitch - Ch

You're gonna throw me, yeah - Ch

I'll show you how I swing - Ch

Ah, the famous “I’ll show you how i swing” a very strong baseball metaphor for everyone. Keeps queer people from defining themselves to dangerous (straight) people, and, well, that’s it actually. This term is mostly used by bi/pan people, though if you want to stay in the closet or are in a dangerous place, it is also used to subtly tell other queer people you are in fact, not straight. My favourite is when this term came into play when President Buchanan got elected in 1856 (for those that don’t know, he’s the first and only gay president).

You'll never know - R

Oh I know - Ch

If you never try - R

There's just one little thing - Ch

That stops me every time, yeah - Ch

This is again, the same lyric as before it doesn’t pan, and the tone is much different. The camera stays on Chad as he says this line, meaning he’s reflecting, he is now his own problem, the person that is keeping him back. His friends are not on his mind anymore, which is good, Ryan’s Gay Propaganda has been working.

Come on - Ch

I don't dance - Ch

I know you can - R

Not a chance, no, no - Ch

If I could do this, well, you could do that - R

But I don't dance - Ch

Hit it out of the park - R

I don't dance - Ch

I say you can - R

There's not a chance, oh no - Ch

Slide home, you score, swingin on the dance floor - Both

I don't dance, no - Ch

Lean back, tuck it in, take a chance - R

Swing it out, spin around, do the dance - R

I wanna play ball, not dance hall - Ch

I'm makin a triple, not a curtain cal - Chl

I can prove it to you til you know it's true - R

'Cause I can swing it, I can bring it to the diamond too - R

You're talkin a lot, show me what you got - Ch

Again, like the beginning of this song, this is a heavy base for flirting and sexual tension, which this song is drowning in.

Stop swinging - both

Hey - both

This is the part where they all start a flash mob in the middle of the baseball diamond. Again, alluding to the conversation I had to myself earlier, this only proves my own theory as no one takes notice of this. But, that’s not this essay, this is where I mention how close Chad and Ryan are at the end of the group dance.

Come on, swing it like this - both

Oh, swing - both

Jitterbug, just like that - both

That's what I mean, that's how you swing - both

You make a good pitch but I don't believe - both

Here is yet another (and the final) sexual innuendo. This is actually a rather quick one. Pitching in queer culture is considered the person who tops (because queer people even had to straight-ify their sex lives to “top” and “bottom”), this is the person who is giving, if you know what I’m saying.

I say you can - R

I know I can't - Ch

I don't dance - Ch

You can do it - R

I don't dance, no - Ch

Here is where that mosh pit ends, and how they get a little too close to comfort.

Nothing to it, atta boy, atta boy, yeah - both

The rest of this song is simply a mash-up of the baseball game being finished, and this lovely gem.

Now, clearly, Chad’s self conscious nature towards his sexuality is gone, he’s sitting close - if not squishing - Ryan, and talking to him like they’ve been friends forever. Take note of the change of close, most likely due to all the tension at the end of the song, and maybe a little of Chad’s own natural human curiosity built in. Now, I leave you with this note:

If there is anything that confirms all this more, its Chad’s girlfriend wearing the pride colours.

Also note: this could also be seen as a friend helping his bro discover his sexuality and fighting internalized homophobia, but, that’s ignoring the sexual tension, so go off I guess.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

Watch the full thing here

#high school musical 2 #ryan and chad #do they have a ship name?#troy bolton #high school musical #the original not the remake or whatever the kids have now #ryan evans #chad danforth #Sharpay evans #troy x gabriella #ryan/chad #that baseball scene #yall know what i'm talking about #i don't dance #the gayest scene ever #and gayest song #Anyways: the series #should I write that second essay?#thanks for coming to my ted talk

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ghost-ghost-baby · 4 years ago

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We're Just Friends! (Omega!bakugo x alpha!reader x omega!Izuku) pt. 5/5

pt 1 / pt 2/ pt 3/pt 4

omegaverse lore

lore: Once an Alpha reaches 21 they get their first rut, they’d either already have their mates or the rut will act as a push for them to get together and bond.

summary: Reader and Katsuki have been friends for years, and everyone expects them to get together, until reader rescues an omega that lives in their building, and things get a touch more... complicated

a/n: FINALLY WE DID IT!!! SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG BUT ITS 4K WORDS!!!! ENJOY!!! general nsfw hcs will b posted at some point, gonna make a diff taglist for it tho so lemme know if u wanna b on it. Warnings: omegaverse, swearing, untraditional omegaverse roles, gets a bit spicy towards the end

“Okay, so, we’re inviting Kirishima, Sero, Jirou, she’ll wanna bring her mate Yamomo, and Yamomo will wanna bring her bestie Shoto, of course.” you had no idea what Denki and Mina were going on about, you and Izuku were waiting in the park while Katsuki finished up an exam, and the pair had cornered you with plans for your party. Izuku had been extra clingy, he’d held your hand all the way to school, and then inched his seat closer to yours in class so he could keep touching you in any way possible, and now he was practically in your lap, arms possessively wrapped around your waist and his head on your shoulder.

“Uh, okay, I wanna invite Shinso too, I know he’s Mr. Aizawas kid but he’s really nice, oh and Tokoyami, he might wanna bring Tsuyu-“ You were distracted, not that your friends noticed, by Izuku’s arms tightening around your waist, and you only realised he let out a growl because you felt it vibrate from his chest and into his throat. Your friends were still rambling, completely ignoring you and your mate, so you turned to Izuku with a questioning look.

“You okay?”

“I don’t like the way Shinso looks at you, why are you inviting him?” Izuku pouted, and you shook your head, reaching up to ruffle his hair.

“Don’t be silly, now Izuku. I’m with you and Katsuki, I’m only inviting him so he can make more friends!” Your answer soothed your mate, although barely, he’d just have to stick to you like glue for the entire party.

“Let’s go, c’mon.” Katsuki pulled Deku up by the back of his shirt, ignoring the omegas cry of protest to offer you a hand, gripping it tighter than usual and pulling you up, wrapping his arm around your waist as soon as you were standing, Izuku grumbling as he made his way to your other side.

“Wow Bakubro- the exam was that bad, huh?” Denki’s question was only met with a growl from Katsuki, and you shushed him before you turned back to your friends.

“Sorry guys but you heard the man! Text me if you need any help with the party but I already told you what I want!” You waved, Denki and Mina waving back from their place on the grass, and you heard them giggle as Katsuki pulled you away, the omegas scent much stronger than usual.

You headed right for the shower when you got home, only stopping to grab a towel, with your mates hot on your heels.

“What’re- what’re you guys doing-?” You were about to start stripping when you noticed them standing in the door, Katsuki with a frown and his arms crossed, Izuku hanging off him with an expression you could only describe as eager.

“You weren’t planning on leaving us, were you?” Izuku pouted, and for a moment you were too shocked to speak.

“I’m just- I’m just having a shower?” You frowned at the pair, and Katsuki let out a growl at your response.

“Why do you have to leave us for it though, we could shower together-“

“Katsuki! Absolutely not! The shower’s barely big enough for one person, no way the three of us are squeezing in there!” You shook your head, crossing your arms over your chest and staring down your mates. Katsuki was glowering at you, which you were used to, however, you were not used to Izuku’s puppy dog eyes, you never stood a chance against that.

“Fucking fine- you can stay in the bathroom, but if you so much as touch the shower curtain I’m locking myself in my room and not coming out until tomorrow, got it?”

“Yes alpha! Thank you!” Izuku flung himself at you, Katsuki joining less than a second later, at least they weren’t fucking growling at each other anymore.

“I forgot clean clothes, would one of you be okay getting me some? I’ll leave the door unlocked for you.” You almost fell when they pulled away, you didn’t realise how much you’d been leaning on them, and Izuku was answering without hesitation.

“I’ll grab you some of mine!” He pressed a quick kiss to your lips before he headed off, and Katsuki couldn’t help but let out a growl, quickly following Izuku’s kiss before he went after the other omega.

“Like hell they’re just wearing your clothes!”

The solution was Katsuki’s hoodie, and a pair of Izuku’s shorts, brought to the bathroom in record time, and both omegas looked so proud of themselves for compromising you got distracted showering them in praise and kisses for a good five minutes. Your actual shower was uneventful, although the conversation with your mates made it fly by, and you still made them turn around when you got out to dry off and get changed. Then you were being bombarded with kisses from your mates, and coos of how cute you looked in their clothes had you blushing. Then they’d ushered you to the kitchen, and Katsuki wrapped your arms around him before he started cooking, even nodding at Izuku for him to join, although he ordered the other omega to get him ingredients. Izuku didn’t seem to mind though, and he pressed kisses to your cheeks and lips every chance he got, even daring to press a few daring kisses to Katsuki’s cheek, which merely got a huff instead of the growl it would have in the past.

“You’ve been awfully good today, Kacchan.” You’d taken to calling Katsuki by the nickname, which still got a growl when you used it, but he was so cute when he got grumpy. He couldn’t help but let out a purr at the praise, it rumbled up through his chest and even Katsuki was shocked by how loud it was, he looked like a started cat, and you and Izuku couldn’t help but laugh, something you both got yelled at for.

“Okay guys, I’m gonna turn in for the night.” You yawned, trying to get up but being stopped by Izuku’s arm around your waist. Your movement woke Katsuki up from the doze he’d fallen into after dinner, and his red eyes were sleepily blinking up at you from where his head rested on your lap.

“Zuku? You okay…?” You shot your mate a questioning look, and Izuku bit his lower lip as he thought.

“Yeah, shitty Deku, they wanna go to bed, so do I.” Katsuki was finally coherent, although he made no move to get up.

“I wanna scent you first.”

“Huh- you scented me right after dinner-?” You were confused, and Izuku’s request had Katsuki bolting up and wide awake.

“Yeah but- I don’t know- y-your scent it’s- it’s stronger than- than normal and-and mine just keeps wearing off and- I don’t like it when you don’t- when you don’t smell like me.” Izuku was a blushing mess by the time he finished speaking, he always got that way when scenting came up, and you leant forward to kiss him before you spoke.

“You can scent me as much as you want, but can you do it in bed?” Your question had Izuku’s face going even redder, and the omega was too flustered to speak, which had Katsuki cackling.

“You broke him, Y/n! Apparently scenting in bed is too scandalous for sweet little Deku.” He grinned at Izuku before turning to you, “However, I have no problem scenting you in bed, he’s right about your scent overpowering ours lately.” Katsuki finally sat up, stretching more than he needed to in order to wack Izuku over the head.

“It’s not- not too scandalous-! Y/n, tell Kacchan to stop being mean!” Izuku whined, cuddling close to your side to rest his head on your shoulder and glaring at your other mate.

“Oi! Don’t bring them into this!” Katsuki growled, and Izuku only smirked, maintaining eye contact with the blonde as he leant forward to bite your neck, hard enough it had you yelping and Katsuki snarling as he pulled you to him.

“Hey- guys- what happened to- oh…” You trailed off when Katsuki started kissing from your collar up to your jaw, the blonde smirking at Izuku when you melted against him.

“That’s so not fair-!” Izuku followed, crawling forward until he was basically on your lap and you were trapped between the two of them, with their scents almost overwhelming you. “Y/n, look at me!” You didn’t even realise you’d closed your eyes until Izuku was whining and grabbing your face, green eyes darting to Katsuki still mouthing at your neck before he leant forward and forced his lips to yours, your eyes once again fluttering closed as you reached up to wrap your arms around Izuku’s neck. His lips were always so soft, and he kissed you like you were the only thing keeping him sane. You were brought back to the present when Katsuki bit down right above your scent gland, the pain and the placement clearing your head enough that you could push Izuku off and stagger to your feet, wiping your mouth as you tried to regain control of your breathing.

“B-Bed, guys-“ your head was still foggy, and you shook it to try and clear the haze. It worked, partially, but once it was gone you were so, so tired, you were ready to collapse.

“Look what you did Kacchan- you ruined all the fun.” Izuku pouted, but he was rushing to your side without hesitation, wrapping your arm around him so you had someone to lean on, Katsuki only huffing and joining the two of you a moment later, shoving himself under your arm on your free side.

“If both of you shut the fuck up and take me to bed I’ll still let you scent me, but don’t push it.” You growled before Katsuki could say anything, and both omegas shut right up at your words, bowing their heads as they practically carried you to your room.

You hit the bed with a relieved sigh, already closing your eyes before Katsuki cleared his throat, and you opened one eye to look at him, a moment passing before you realised why both your mates were just standing there staring at you.

“Oh, right, sorry!” You pushed yourself back up, automatically baring your neck and almost giving your mates an aneurism at the sight of you. Katsuki all but jumped on you in his eagerness, quickly smothering your startled noises with a kiss before he rubbed his wrist on his own neck and then rubbed his wrist over almost every inch of you, until you were completely covered in the smell of caramel.

“Don’t hog them!” Izuku was next to you just as Katsuki finished, and he shoved Katsuki out of the way so he could proceed to scent you too, although he chose to rub his scent gland directly over yours first, and you almost pulled back with a yelp from how intense it was. You somehow held it together until Izuku was satisfied that his and Katsuki’s scents were even, although the omega took over ten minutes, thankfully for most of it he was doing the same as Katsuki, but your eyes were still drooping closed by the end, and you would have fallen back if Katsuki hadn’t moved behind you to help prop you up, his arms wrapped low around your waist.

“Are you almost done, Deku? They’re practically asleep in my lap.” You could hear the smirk in his voice even if you couldn’t see him, and Izuku only huffed in response, although his eyes softened when you offered him a sleepy half smile. You looked so sweet, eyes lidded and face flushed, was this what you’d look like when-

“Oi! I asked you a question.” Katsuki leant forward to shove Izuku, and that snapped the omega out of his… more unsavoury thoughts.

“Sorry Kacchan! Y/n’s just so cute when they’re all soft and pliable like this, I got distracted!” Izuku grinned, quickly leaning forward to kiss you before Katsuki could yell, and you did your best to kiss your mate back despite your half asleep state. You didn’t want to pull away, but Katsuki didn’t have an issue breaking the two of you up, something you were thankful for, in that moment at least.

“Enough getting distracted, they need sleep.” The blonde manoeuvred you so you were laying down facing him, and Izuku let out a huff as he followed suit, mumbling something about how Kacchan always ruined his fun. You shushed both of them before Katsuki could reply, tugging the blonde closer for a kiss to stop him grumbling, then you were grabbing Izuku’s hands, pressing your head to Katsuki’s chest, and finally falling asleep.

You woke up covered in sweat, the hoodie you’d worn to bed now feeling like it was suffocating you combined with the heat your mates gave off, and you gently slipped out of bed, throwing the hoodie off and letting out a sigh of relief when you were just in a tank top. You still had twenty minutes before you needed to get up, and you turned to wake your mates, only to slap a hand over your mouth to stop yourself squeaking. Neither of them had woken up despite you moving, but Izuku must have moved closer to Katsuki in his sleep, and the two of them were cuddling, with Izuku’s head nestled against Katsuki’s chest. You quickly grabbed your phone, making sure it was on silent mode, before you proceeded to take a rather excessive amount of pictures of your mates. Then, still being as quiet as you could, you made your way out of the room and into the kitchen. You made yourself a coffee and a bowl of cereal, taking a seat at the counter before you opened your messages, quickly finding the group chat with Mina and Denki, and sending through one of the pictures. The response was instant, Mina going into all caps to scream about how cute it was, and Denki sent through a spam of keyboard smashes, also in all caps. You kept chatting to them while you finished your breakfast, but a yell from your room had you texting them goodbye and putting your phone down. Any minute now.

“Get the fuck away from me, Deku!”

“I was asleep, Kacchan, it wasn’t my fault! You’re the one that did this to me!”

“I thought you were Y/n, stop following me!”

“I’m not following you, I’m trying to find-“

“Y/n!”

“Y/n! Kacchan is being mean again!” Your mates turned the corner into the kitchen, Izuku sprinting to your side, and your eyes widened at the mark on his neck.

“Damn, what happened?” Izuku wrapped his arms around your waist, whining until you bared your neck for him so he could rub his cheek over your scent gland.

“I was just sleeping, alpha! And then Kacchan bit me!” Izuku whined against your neck, and you cooed as you reached up to play with his hair, calmly brushing through the curls and turning your gaze to Katsuki with raised eyebrows. At least the blonde looked sheepish, and he reached up to scratch the back of his neck before he answered you.

“You’re usually the one in front of me, how the fuck was I supposed to know it was shitty Deku. When did you even leave, huh? You’re meant to wake me up.” Katsuki growled, and you sighed and shook your head, he really couldn’t take the blame for anything, huh? Still, you gestured for him to join the hug, which he happily did, and you pressed a kiss to his forehead.

“I know you were expecting me, Katsuki, but you really uh- gave Izuku a shock, can you apologise? For me?” You cooed, only getting a growl in response, so you pulled away with a sigh, Izuku whining in protest at the loss of contact.

“Katsuki-“

“Fine. Sorry for biting you, Deku, even though it was your fault for cuddling me.” The blonde growled, but you weren’t going to get any better, and Izuku seemed happy enough, by the way he was hugging Katsuki.

“See, there we go! Izuku and I gotta get ready for class now!” Your words had both of them turning to you with a growl, and you could only look at them in confusion.

“We’re not going to class today, Y/n.” Izuku pulled away from Katsuki to look at you, and you were cut off before you could ask why.

“Yeah, your birthday’s tomorrow and you fucking reek, no way you’re leaving the apartment.” Katsuki crossed his arms over his chest, and you grabbed your phone with a rather dramatic sigh.

“Fine, guess I’m stuck here with you idiots.”

You’d gotten yelled at for that remark, and Katsuki was still sulking when he pulled away to go and shower, Izuku tugging you to the couch the second Katsuki was out of view.

“You still wanna scent me? We’re not leaving the house-“ Izuku kissed you to cut you off, and all thoughts went out the window as you kissed him back, letting him lay you down on the couch and pin you under him with his weight. Your head tilted back when Izuku pulled away to kiss down your jaw and neck, your hands automatically tangling in his hair to tug him closer, and Izuku let out a whine that had your scent going haywire. He kept going down, peppering kisses and sucking marks over your collarbone before he moved to your chest, and you briefly wondered where he was going with this, but then Izuku was lifting your shirt up for better access. He stayed at your chest for a few more minutes before he continued, pressing kisses to your ribs and stomach, and your heart was in your throat as he reached your hip, but then the omega just, stopped, resting his head on your hip and just gazing at you from between your thighs.

“You’re so pretty when you’re all hot and bothered like this, alpha! Are you disappointed that I stopped?” Izuku chirped, pressing a kiss to your inner thigh, and you were quickly grabbing a pillow to cover your rapidly growing blush, while Izuku just looked at you and giggled.

“Kacchan! Pass that shirt to me when you’re done!” Izuku was seated on the bed, casually scenting anything Katsuki had scented and thrown his way, as if this was the most normal occurrence ever. And it almost was, except for the fact you were stuck in the middle of the bed, getting growled at if you so much as shifted your position. They wanted to ‘build the nest around you’ apparently, which was something you’d never heard of, but you weren’t going to argue with your birthday a mere day away, Katsuki and Izuku had been… on edge lately.

“Arms please!” Izuku’s chirp broke you out of your thoughts, and you hesitantly held out your arms, although you got the message when Izuku leaned back against you, and you were wrapping your arms around him and resting your head on his shoulder without a second thought. A shirt was hitting you in the face seconds later, and you yelped at the impact, throwing the shirt right back at Katsuki.

“What was that for!” He snarled, throwing the shirt back at you and huffing when Izuku caught it, although both of your moods improved when he let out a happy hum and proceeded to scent the material before gently folding it and placing it on the bed. You couldn’t resist sticking your tongue out at Katsuki from where you were stuck behind Izuku and the blonde only grumbled as he got back to grabbing bedding from the cupboard you had especially for when he nested. He was… more subdued, than normal. He didn’t growl when Izuku kissed him, and you’d actually caught them cuddling on the couch when you came back from the shower. The lack of bickering was a breath of fresh air, and you couldn’t resist pulling Katsuki in for a kiss when he came to dump more material on the bed. He let out a grunt when you tugged him down, the blonde almost falling on the bed, his arms going either side of of Izuku, who took the opportunity to kiss whatever part of Katsuki’s neck he could. You were the one that had to push him away, and Katsuki growled at you when he lost contact, which caused you to flick his forehead and click your tongue, but Katsuki just pouted and got back to scenting the fabric. See what you meant? You’d be worried if his scent wasn’t so… content.

Movement next to you woke you up, and Katsuki came into focus above you as you blinked away the sleep.

“Good, you’re awake.” The blonde nuzzled into your neck and you tilted your head to the side for him, sleep still heavily clouding your mind so you couldn’t made sense of anything.

“Why am- why am I awake…?” You mumbled, too tired to stop yourself letting out a little moan when Katsuki pressed a kiss to your neck, and you felt him smirk against your skin.

“Your rut’s started, dumbass.”

“Mmmm? I don’t feel… any different… just kinda hot…. You smell really, really good, Katsuki…” Your hands went to his hips, and Katsuki let out an exasperated sigh, resting his forehead on the pillow next to you before he answered.

“God you’re so fucking stupid, that’s my heat, idiot, it woke me up. Deku’s started too but he’s still asleep, so I thought I’d wake you up now, I want to get something straight, okay alpha?” He went back to kissing your neck between words, and you only hummed in response, nodding as your eyes fluttered closed.

“Good, now listen, okay? I was here first, I want to fuck you first, and I want to mark you first too, okay alpha?” His teeth grazed your skin and you whined, your fingers digging into the blondes hips, and you let out a whimper when he bit down, almost breaking the skin.

“Of course, Katsuki- you’ve been so good of course you can…”

“Say it, I wanna hear you say it, alpha.” Katsuki pulled back, bracing his arms and caging you in so you couldn’t look anywhere but his face, and a blush spread over yours in response.

“You can- you can fuck me first, Katsuki-“ you barely finished the sentence before he was kissing you, nipping your bottom lip before he pulled off, his breathing heavier than it was before.

“Good, now, I guess we better wake shitty Deku up.”

The throbbing from both sides of your neck woke you up this time, and you groaned as you tried to move your neck, slowly coming around to your surroundings. You were on your back, with Katsuki’s head on your chest and Izuku’s on your stomach. When you finally sat up slightly, (you didn’t want to wake them) pride flashed through you at the site of the fresh bonding marks, and you couldn’t stop yourself letting out a happy purr. Unfortunately, your back was killing you- so you gently shimmied out of bed, pulling the blankets back over the sleeping pair before you turned to the cupboard to get yourself a shirt. Fuck, your neck was still killing you, maybe icing it would help? You couldn’t help the pained hiss that escaped you when you pulled the shirt over your head, still knocking the bites despite your best efforts to be gentle.

“Y/n…? What the fuck are you doing?” Katsuki rubbed his eyes as he sat up, his abrupt movement waking Izuku, who let out a huff at his sleep being interrupted.

“Neck hurts, I was gonna try and ice it.” You looked at yourself in the mirror, no wonder you were in so much pain-

Your neck and shoulders were littered with bites and hickies, some of them rivalling the bonding bites with how deep they were, you probably needed to do more than ice it.

“Oh, right, Deku got carried away.” The blonde let out a groan as he stretched, and when you turned back to them you weren’t surprised to see Izuku pouting.

“You got just as carried away, Kacchan! Don’t try to blame it all on me!” Izuku hopped out of bed despite his half asleep state, shuffling to your side and pressing a quick kiss to your lips before he cuddled under your arms, possessively wrapping his arms around your waist.

“Tch, whatever Deku, just take them to the kitchen to get some ice, I’ll check to see if we have witch hazel or arnica to help with the healing.”

taglist: @pasteldaze @hopeless-ro-simptic @ntngann @somerandominternetgirl-blog @ianem005 @lalaluvzen @antisocial-minnie @rogueofbullshit @hakunamatatayqueen @so-uncute @therealwalmartjesus @unlightedfool @all-the-kings-reblogs @cth-l @dudedontjudeme122 @lushpluto @ley-lani59 @seven-seventeen-blog-blog @firecet @invisiblemolly @wayward-bumblebee @glasswolff @graceorchid24 @letskidaddle @duskjelly @oddwvrlds @leslielikesmusic-blog-blog @akirahyoshi @tamakiwithcrab @xnorthstar3x @mitchiesdungeon

#omegaversse #reader insert #bnha omegaverse #bnha x reader #alpha reader #abo #omegaverse x reader #poly #poly fic #katsuki bakugo x reader #izuku x reader #bakugo x reader #deku x reader

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nhi-theuserof-this · 4 years ago

Text

Cackles in lore

Come get your food everyone

TW/CW: underage drinking, swearing, uhhhh, spoilers up to dec 16

—

The Antarctic Empire had practically taken over the world as they abused the way maps were supposed to be made, and only in a short matter of time too. Phil and Techno individually hadn’t expected this kind of outcome, only for seperate reasons but nevertheless were glad it turned out this way.

SMP Earth had eventually come to a stop and so did the ability to stay in the world.

“So what are your plans when this is all over?” Phil murmured cracking open a beer and passing it to Techno as they enjoyed one of the last sunsets to happen on the server.

“Nothin much, I had a side war with another guy on a different server and that ones looking pretty close to the end.” Technoblade took a long swig from the beer bottle as his eyes wandered aimlessly around the terrain.

“You should come with me for awhile, I’ve kept in touch with my family and I think they’d like you.”

“Maybe in the future then.”

At midnight, exactly a week and two days after the end of SMP Earth that Philza had gotten a message that Technoblade was coming to visit and needed permission into his world, and at three twenty-nine in the morning Technoblade had logged onto the world.

“What’s going on Techno? It’s three in the morning.” Phil asked as he walked down the steps of his porch and began walking towards where Technoblade had appeared.

“Oh. Sorry, forgot sleep schedules are a thing.” Techno murmured, “I wanted to visit to let you know I’ve won the potato war in person since this is an optimal excuse to see you.”

And like that, the two spent until six-thirty celebrating Technos victory.

“Dad?” Came the voice of one of Phils children after Technoblade logged off.

“Oh! Hey there Wilbur, why’re you up so early?”

“I woke up to you talking with that guy that just left, who was he?”

“He’s a friend I made while I was in SMP Earth, he wanted to stop by to catch up. Now go back to sleep, it’s still early in the morning.”

“Okay dad.” Wilbur mumbled turning to go back upstairs.

It had been a few weeks since the first visit, a steady on and off random visits schedule had begun to form in that time, Technoblade visiting in the late hours of the night and leaving just before late hours. Today seemed to be quite different however, a notification appearing in chat informing Phil someone had joined the world with no prior notice.

“Dad? Who’s that?” Tommy asked looking up at Phil.

“It seems a friend of mine has joined, you go sit down and eat your breakfast before it gets cold.” Phil replied ushering Tommy to sit at the table Wilbur was seated at.

Before Phil was Technoblade standing on the porch in a slouch nervously looking at the now open door. “Techno?”

“Heya Phil, surprise?”

“You know that still doesn’t answer my question man.”

“Dad Dad! Wil and Techno are twins!” Tommy shouted as Phil entered the room with a cup of coffee.

“Yeah, me and him have the exact same birthday.”

Philza sputtered for a moment. “Your fifteen Techno?”

“I know right?”

“What- does this mean I’ve committed war crimes with a fifteen year old?”

“No, you were committing war crimes with a thirteen to fourteen year old, don’t know if that’s any better though.”

Wilbur let out a long laugh as Techno let out a small grin while Philza was practically going through the five stages of grief.

I honestly am having trouble making a cohesive story so have a very large amount of script format interconnected memes

Phil: You’re what?

Techno: Nonono- Phil you got it all wrong-

Phil: *sighs in relief*

Techno: I’m fifteen not wHaT.

Phil:

Phil: *sounds of adoption papers*

Phil: *is drinking beer*

Techno: *walks into the room*

Phil: Want one?

Techno:

Phil:

Phil: *slowly looks away*

Tommy to Wilbur: You ever wonder what alcohol tastes like?

Techno who’s also in the room: It’s okay for the most part, people act like it’s way better than it actually is though

Tommy and Wilbur:

Techno:

Techno: ah,,

at the festival*

Techno: *is drowning in the water tank*

Fundy: *takes a beer from a cooler*

Techno, still inside the tank: Don’t drink that Fundy that brand is gross

Fundy: I haven’t ever seen you drink

Techno: That doesn’t mean anything when laws don’t matter to me

Fundy:

Fundy: Shut up you’re supposed to be drowning

Post pit fight with Tommy*

Wilbur: What are you doing Techno?

Techno: *Glances at the bottle of beer*

Wilbur:

Wilbur: How many.

Techno: uhhhhh

Wilbur:

Techno: You should be the last person to judge how I cope Wilbur.

Shlatt: *has a fucking heart attack* *dies*

Everyone: *celebrates*

Techno: woo! We killed an old man with heart problems!

Later

Techno: I wonder if it was actually something in that drink that actually killed him..

Phil:

Techno:

—

Some time after Techno beats the shit out of Quackity and runs away from the execution*

Tubbo: Philza how were you so calm the whole time?

Quackity: We literally had an execution set up to kill your son.

Phil:

Phil: my what?

Tubbo: Your son? Technoblade??

Phil: He’s not my son.

Tubbo: Doesn’t he have the same birthday Wilbur did??

Phil: He does.

Quackity and Tubbo: ???

Phil: He might be like a son but we’re more like war buddies after committing so many war crimes together back on SMP Earth.

Tubbo: What?

Quackity: What the fUucK??

—

And now for our sponsors!

@nicarose24 @sam-grey @rememtale @a-moth-called-mof @jklpopcorn @netheritenugget @theicingonacoke @internet-or-sleep @strawberiitea @imnotentirelycertain @demiphoenix66 @letluigisaythefword @potatos-are-best @itsfiveoclock @glaxyjellyfish @whatareusernames @rstrawberrytea @rlchaos @canadianinja @salamencerobot @marshquid @ye-olde-party-times @star-fruit23 @hellwo-block-men-make-me-cry @storm-wayne-kent

Have a good day!

#ok so basically technoblade was canonically a child during smp earth in dsmp lore #technoyoung au #dream smp #mcytau #tommyinnit #philza #mcyt #wilbur soot #tw drinking #nhiwrotehere

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a-duck-with-a-book · 4 years ago

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REVIEW // Nevernight (The Nevernight Chronicle, #1) by Jay Kristoff

★☆☆☆☆

So I’m very late to the party, but I just finished reading Nevernight by Jay Kristoff I had such high hopes for this series based off of what people recommending it had told me and what I read about it before picking up. Dark fantasy? Check. Strong leading lady? I’m here for it. Gays? It’s literally my only personality trait. Sign me up. Unfortunately, this book fell flat in all those categories. It reminded me a lot of Sarah J. Maas’s Throne of Glass, which made me take one point off of to begin with simply for making me think of Maas’s writing. Overall, I just found the book to be too predictable, with bad writing, exposition, and pacing, and too many parts that just made me ~uncomfortable~.

In case you are not familiar with this novel, Nevernight tells the story of Mia Corvere, a girl who lost her family when she was a child after her father was convicted of treason. When the book begins, she is 16 years old and embarking on a journey to join the Red Church, a school for assassins, so that she may one day be able to avenge her father’s death. Along the way she meets a bunch of forgettable characters whose names I can’t be bothered to remember and is taught by the most fearsome killers in the Republic. Here she gains many valuable skills, like how to survive being poisoned, how to fight, and how to get big boobs.

+ Side note: by chapter 3 three I started picturing Mia as the crow guy from RWBY and I could not shake that for the rest of the book

I had many issues with this novel that I will try to summarize in some sort of coherent fashion, but to be honest this book sucked the will to live out of me so I don’t know how much energy I can put into this review.

// image: official cover art by Jason Chan //

FOOTNOTES

The footnotes were probably the most jarring element of the book for me, and, unfortunately, there’s a lot of them. Their function seems to be twofold:

they are the form of most of the world-building, explaining several customs, the history of the institutions and peoples Mia meets, and the mythology followed by the people of the Republic.

they allow for the narrator of our story to interrupt with comical one-liners or cryptic foreshadowing

In my humble opinion, both of these are unnecessary and stupid. The interruptions come off as crass and immature and make the other more textbook, boring exposition come off as a joke, especially when it is dealing with sensitive or serious topics. There is one that explains this brothel called the Seven Flavors, which the footnote explains refer to “Boy, Girl, Man, Woman, Pig, Horse, and, if sufficient notice and coin was given, Corpse.” Now, on its own, this passing mention of pedophilia, bestiality, and necrophilia could very well contribute to the world building and tone of the novel, but when placed side by side with the childish, joking tone of the “cue the violiiiiiiiins” or, regarding the acoustics of a room, “…they were, as it happens, exceptional. Falalalalalalaaaaaaaa”, come off as way too light-hearted for the topic at hand. Maybe I’m being way too sensitive, but I’m pretty tired of authors using serious topics as off-hand remarks as a lazy way to make their world daker and grittier. Plus, these footnotes were just so incredibly cringy that I would recoil from second-hand embarrassment every time. They resemble the things I wrote when I was 14 and trying (and miserably failing) to be funny. Also… there are way too many of them. While at first I appreciated the attempt to deepen the lore of the story (I’m a sucker for world-building), after a while it became evident that the author was just forcing information down our throats without taking the time to actually weave the lore and background into the story itself. It came off as a very lazy way to force exposition.

OVERLY FLOWERY LANGUAGE

This story is BRIMMING with similes and metaphors, like every other sentence is some overly complicated way to describe something that could have been presented in three words. When you include so many metaphors/similes/etc., they begin to lose power. They should allow the reader to extrapolate more meaning and emotion from a sentence, but if the book is bursting at the seams with them, they become increasingly ordinary, to the point of losing all of their luster. One prime example appears on page 30:

“It was a bucktoothed little shithole, and no mistake. Not the most miserable building in all creation. [here there is a footnote about some other inn/brothel] But if the inn were a man and you stumbled into him in a bar, you’d be forgiven for assuming he had—after agreeing enthusiastically to his wife’s request to bring another woman into their marriage bed—discovered his bride making up a pallet for him in the guest room.”

So first of all what the fuck is that supposed to mean? That whole paragraph is a fever dream. Let’s begin with “bucktoothed little shithole”. Bucktoothed? Really? What does that mean. Please, someone explain to be right now what a bucktoothed building is. Is it uneven? Is it awkward? Is it half-finished? Is one side longer than the other? Did they do a bad paint job that only covers on side? Are the windows askew? Is the door too big for its frame? We already know from the paragraph above that it is “disheveled” as well, so why the need for another weird phrasing of its appearance? We then move on to that whole JOURNEY of a sentence, where the inn is compared to a man being cuckolded. That is the most insane tale-can you imagine running into someone in a bar and that story being the VERY FIRST thing that runs through your mind??? I know I’m focusing way too much on this stupid paragraph, but basically what I am trying to get at is that even though we spend half a page talking about how bucktoothed and disheveled and cuckolded this building is, we get no actual physical description of it. Imagine if Kristoff had just written that it was a run-down, ill-kept building that looked as worse for wear as its owner did. Done, one sentence. Great. Let’s move on. Instead, we spend so long reading these absolutely batshit descriptions that ultimately tell us next to nothing. Flowery language is placed over actual context. You may think that a description this long and complex means that this inn is a significant or recurring setting in the novel. Nope. It’s not. Mia leaves and that’s that. The reason that I’m focusing so much on this objectively irrelevant paragraph is because it is so representative of the biggest issue I have with the writing in this book. There are so many unnecessary comparisons that function only to make the author feel clever rather than add anything to the story at all. It’s very à la 2010s Tumblr.

THE (IN MY OPINION, BAD) WRITING

For the first half of the book, we are constantly being TOLD things rather than being SHOWN things. With the exception of one of the teachers cutting off Mia’s arm, we rarely see the ruthlessness that the assassins are so feared for, but we hear about it in nearly every other sentence Where are the consequences? I think this book would have been way more enjoyable if there were actually consequences to the characters’ actions. The inclusion of the weaver and the weird vampire guy completely remove any tension regarding the fate of the central cast. When Mia had her arm chopped off, I was shocked, and pleasantly surprised. How was she going to overcome this unexpected obstacle in her training? Then a couple pages later, its reattached with absolutely no lasting consequences. All of the initial tension and shock value of the loss of Mia’s arm is entirely removed because of the two incest-y siblings. Their entire purpose for existing is just to undo all damage to the main characters. Then suddenly, out of the blue, Mia is willing to take on a ton of consequences and completely throw away her chance at becoming initiated in order to avenge her family just to save Tric from receiving like one punishment??? Like why?? As an aside, the only moment I truly enjoyed was when Ash fucking stabbed Tric to death. I assume that when the reader’s favorite moment is one of the central characters’ death, it does not bode well for their reception of the book.

THE THEMES

TW: rape-y subjects

The author seemed a little too keen to include rape and sexual assault in his story. Mia withdrew her consent in the sex scene in the very first chapter, and even if you read it as consensual (which I do not), it is described as incredibly unpleasant on her end. Tric is the result of a rape, which is brought up several times throughout the story. Further, Mia is constantly facing harassment from men. I understand that this is frames the idea that the world she lives in is misogynistic and ruthless, but there are other ways to push that idea through other than constantly putting in her in those situations. As in, this didn’t need to be the ONLY way we explored this subject. Beyond the uncomfortable propensity for sexual assault, I also very much disliked the sexualization of the 16-year-old main character. Oh. My. Gosh. Mia is CONSTANTLY sexualized. Every single damn character makes comments about her body, how hot she is, how much sex she potentially has. It is so weird and uncomfortable. I feel the need to reiterate that she is SIXTEEN. There is, however, a focus placed on the power Mia can gain from seducing her targets. Girl power? Not to me, really. The issue I have with this is the idea that a woman has to be overtly sexual in order to be considered powerful. This is something that we can see in many female assassins and supposedly powerful female characters in fiction (like Black Widow) especially those written by men. Now, there is nothing wrong with using one’s sexuality as a weapon, and I’m certainly not saying that a strong female character cannot be sexual, but the idea that a sixteen-year-old girl is shown having her body painfully modified tp be more desirable, and in a graphic sex scene with another character, in order to for the reader to read her as liberated and powerful does not sit well with me. I don’t really feel like this aspect of her training should be relevant to the overall story. I wish the time that Kristoff had dedicated to hammering into our heads that Mia is a femme fatale to developing her Darkin powers instead. The way she is written now feels more like she is a faux strong female character written for a male audience.

Secondly, Mia is fully written as “the plain-girl-who-is-actually-pretty”. This whole trope bothers me IMMENSELY. YA is full of girls who are described as plain, forgettable, or ugly while their physical descriptions are just the dictionary definition of conventionally attractive. It seems like a way to market off of girls’ self-consciousness while still being able to market the main character as a hot heroine in official art. And there is, of course, the issue of Mia’s boob job Readwithcindy (just “withcindy” now!) did a whole video about this so I won’t get into it much just to repeat what she already said, but I agree that the idea of a 30-something year old man including this completely unnecessary detail regarding the sexualization of teenage girl, who we have ALREADY seen in a rape and being sexualized by other men in the story, made me really, really, uncomfortable. I highly recommend you go watch her video, as she touches on this in way more detail. [Cindy's video

RATINGS

Worldbuilding: ★★☆☆☆

A lot of thought obviously went into the world-the mythology, society, and politics are well-thought out. But the way they are introduced is annoying and bland. It seems like the author put a lot of effort into constructing this world but realized a lot of it would be left out of the book, so he crammed it into footnotes instead.

Tone and writing style: ★☆☆☆☆ for first half, ★★★☆☆ for second half

The tone of the first half is all over the place, like it doesn’t know if it should be dark and gritty or comical and immature. Footnotes and character dialogue ranges from lighthearted and crass to seeped with themes of torture and sexual assault. It is jarring, to say the least, and often feels like the author doesn’t take these ideas of rape or violence seriously. There are so many instances where the scene is tense or gritty, and Kristoff is actually writing it pretty well, I’m enthralled and on the edge of my seat, and then Mia or some other character (or the footnotes) throw in some stupid comment or make the same “Mia is such an asshole lol” joke for the billionth time and completely ruin the mood of that scene. The second half of the book moved much faster and was helped with way better writing, but it really did not do enough to make up for the horrendous structure of the first half of the book.

Pacing and structure: ★☆☆☆☆

The first half of the book really drags on. Once we arrive at the school, there are constant jumps in timeline, marked with periods when a thousand things happen all at once and the plot moves forward at a dizzying rate, and others when the characters just seem to be going about their daily lessons.

Concept: ★★★☆☆

I found the overall idea of the books to be very interesting, even though it is certainly not the most original or unique concept for a YA fantasy book. The issue is that the potential is squandered with a poor execution.

Characters: ★☆☆☆☆

I truly did not care about any of the characters. The token mean girl, the bumbling nice-guy-who-is-definitely-the-love-interest. too many of the characters just sat nicely within their tropes, doing nothing much to pique my interests. I think my favorite overall was Mister Kindly.

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goldeneyedgirl · 4 years ago

Text

jaliceweek20 day 1: human/vampire

Title: Against A Wall (Part 1)

Prompt 1: Human/Vampire

Word Count: 3,851

Note: I’m going into hospital tomorrow, and I’ve run out of time to get this finished (so, so close but I need sleep). So I cut it in half in the most logical place.

As long as the JaliceWeek Mods don’t have an issue, I’ll finish off Part 2 and upload the whole fic to the AO3 collection around Tuesday when I’m feeling human and have a decent Wifi connection.

Fifteen.

He crouches behind Dewey’s Bar, spitting blood onto the pavement, and trying to pretend that whatever is seeping into his jeans is just water, and not runoff from the reeking dumpster beside him.

It’s Tuesday night, and Tuesdays are always the worst. Tuesdays are his mom’s night shifts at the VA hospital. Tuesdays are pay-day. Tuesdays are the only day his father doesn’t pull his punches.

His left cheek and eye are swollen and split, like overripe fruit. He can’t see real well, and the taste of aluminium foil in the back of his mouth makes him suspect another fracture around his eye.

But was it really a Tuesday night if cerebral fluid wasn’t leaking into his mouth?

He feels bad that his mother is going to walk in at five the next morning, exhausted, to find… well, to find Hettie and Flo asleep in Ava’s bed, as Ava studies and worries. To find Jasper’s bed empty, and Lydia’s too. To find the study door locked, no matter how long she knocks.

In fact, the only thing that Louise Whitlock won’t find when she gets home from work is the god-damned strength of will to leave her fucking husband.

Last time he said that to her face, she started to cry, and that made things worse.

It’s still early, which sucks. There are hours to go until it is safe to move, to drag himself to school, to shower in the locker rooms and get some food out of the vending machine and savour the fact that another Tuesday is behind him. Sheldon isn’t big enough for the other students and the teachers not to notice the bruises on his face, but it is small enough that everyone knows Jeremiah Whitlock, and no one is going to say anything to get him in trouble.

He could go find Lydia, hide in the tree-house, tell someone who wasn’t family or a local. But he always ends up behind Dewey’s. When he was a kid, it hadn’t just been a bar; it had been been Dewey’s Bar and Grill, and his grandfather used to take him there for fried chicken and ice cream. Dewey had been his Grandpa Jed’s best friend, but even in those halcyon days it hadn’t exactly been family-friendly.

It had become a dive bar sometime around the time Jasper finished middle-school, but it didn’t matter - by then, Dewey and Grandpa were dead, and he was too busy trying to protect himself and his sisters to eat ice cream.

He spits blood again, and rests back against the brickwork. Nothing for it; Tuesdays were always hell.

—

He tries to sleep, amongst the noise of passersby, and remain unnoticed - Jasper’s learnt the hard way that his uncles still frequent Dewey’s, and they will march him straight back home for round two, no matter what he says. Even when he came up with the strength to tell them, about Lydia and Jerry and Tuesday nights, his uncles just tell him to shut up, man up, and maybe Jerry wouldn’t have to whoop his ass.

He thinks of Lydia and hopes she’s somewhere warm and clean tonight. Lydia’s smart enough to stay away on Tuesday nights. Home is never Lydia’s first port of call any night of the week, but never, ever on Tuesdays.

He remembers the last Tuesday night she was home, two summers ago, when Lydia stormed upstairs, a twelve-year-old hurricane with fire in her eyes, and called their father a coward for beating the shit out of Jasper.

Jeremiah Whitlock hadn’t liked being called a coward. Not at all.

Now she is transient, a ghost sister who vanishes at day break; one who bunks down on couches and in treehouses before coming back to her own bed. Their mom and Ava worry about where Lydia gets her money, cigar-sized rolls of dollar bills that she keeps in a tampon box, but he knows.

He knows that his sharp and pointy little sister never let anything stop her, least of all hard work, and that a lot of people in town know that Jerry Whitlock has a lot of anger and a lot of disappointment that he tries to drown in cheap beer and cheaper whiskey. It just makes him angrier. If the only thing they can do is give Lydia Whitlock some work, well, that kid’ll cut the grass, paint the garage, and walk the dog for a few bucks and a drink from a spigot.

It’s easy to say that Lydia is the best of them, making it clear that she doesn’t need their shitty father or their tired mother, but they are all strong in different ways. Ava, who smiles and simpers at their father, waiting for that day when she can buckle Hettie and Flo into her car and take them with her to college in Houston with a middle finger raised in the air. Flo stays quiet, stays alert, darting and hiding when the moment comes, but whose slight of hand belongs to a survivalist magician. And sweet little Hettie, who never lived on the ranch and knew their parents when they were happy, is sunshine and laughter and innocence. The one that reminds them why they stick together.

He’s the boy, so his role is obvious and unquestioned: he takes the punches and slaps and kicks that were meant for their mom, for Lydia, for Flo. He mutters things under his breath so that Jerry doesn’t hear what his sisters are saying, forgets that Hettie is sniffling or that Lydia hasn’t been home in ten days or that their mother has burnt dinner.

He knows his place.

—-

If you asked anyone with the surname ‘Whitlock’, they’d tell you that the family was cursed.

Had been since the Civil War; the youngest son had run off and joined up. Tried to desert two months in, crying for his momma, and ran afoul of someone - or something. He was dead a month later, but no one was exactly sure if he’d been executed for desertion, or if he’d just got in the way of a Yankee bullet. Either way, his last letter was rambling and terrified of something he never named, and his cowardice was rewarded with his bloodline’s constant suffering.

Within the Whitlock family lore, the curse was held accountable for numerous failings - from great-great grandmother Edith running off with one of the Wilkerson boys, to little Brian dropping dead as a doornail one summer day after seven years of perfect health. It was the Whitlock Curse to blame the day the bank took the ranch away from Jasper’s own father.

It was the curse that had four and a half strapping brothers (Uncle Wyatt only counted as half since he went to the war in the Middle East and got himself blown up before he was even old enough to drink, and left behind a high school sweetheart with a bouncing baby girl they all called ‘Puddin’) father fifteen girls, and only one lousy boy.

Make no mistake about it, Jasper was a lousy heir to the Whitlock name. All three of his uncles reminded him of this every holiday season. Whitlock men were supposed to live and breathe the ranch, were supposed to be football players and champions. They were meant to knock up the head cheerleader and serve eight years in the army, like their brothers, fathers, uncles, and grandfathers before them.

Not snivelling little momma’s boys, who cried themselves to sleep when Sirius Black died, and could charm the birds from the trees. Not boys who helped their sisters catch rabbits, and keep them as secret pets, or name the house cat Socrates. Not boys who sat up all night when their horse had colic, and sit in the stable with her, begging and praying for her to be okay.

He tried, goddamnit. So hard. He was the best shot in the family (something that Uncle Bo had nearly hit him over, that one Thanksgiving. But everyone knew that Bo had the worst temper in the family.) Before things went to shit, he’d been a good student. He’d been able to convince the animals on the ranch to do anything. He was popular, without having any particular friends or putting much effort into it. He took care of his sisters.

But none of it was ever good enough.

Nothing ever was.

—

It’s Roy Lester that chases him off, before six the next morning. Roy runs the grocer next to Dewey’s, and went to school with his father and uncles - still had beers with them ever so often. The way he threatened Jasper and chased him off home whenever he caught him in the alley made Jasper think that they talked about him, and none of it flattering.

So he has to slink home because he stinks and he’s starving. The security at school won’t let anyone in before seven; he’s tried before; it’s not like he has much choice.

In a town like Sheldon, everyone knew everyone. You started kindergarten with maybe twenty other five year olds - most you probably already knew - and spent the next thirteen years with those same kids. You watched Maude Montgomery transform from the aesthetic-equivalent of Danny Devito to Jennifer Lawrence in a single summer, thanks to a late brush with puberty; you were right there when Casey Atkinson was put in a wheelchair and spent seventh grade learning to walk again. You knew that Ariel Turner was diabetic, Marley Harris was asthmatic, and you’d seen thirteen years of peanut-free lunches and birthday parties because Joey Thompson was highly allergic.

The joy of small towns.

Everyone knew that Jerry Whitlock hit his kids and his wife, but no one talked about it - not to their faces, at least. The adults tended to march Jasper home, to face his father’s wrath. The kids tended to get uncomfortable, and look through him. The few people who tried to reach out were from out of town, and were usually passing through - the odd teacher, a new neighbour, a concerned face on the bus.

Better to go home until school opened up.

Louise is in the kitchen, her face pinched and pale, clutching a cup of coffee. She looks hopeful when he walks in, but seems to crumple in on herself when she sees his bloody, swollen face. She looks old as she puts down her mug, and moves to pull him into a hug. He pretends not to notice her shuddering, as she cries onto his shoulder, before pulling away.

“I’ll make breakfast,” she manages, sniffling. “Okay? You must be hungry.”

He grunts and nods, as he heads upstairs. As if scrambled eggs and burnt toast can fix another Tuesday night.

But Wednesdays are good - the longest possible time until another Tuesday night.

He just has to keep telling himself that.

—

Seventeen.

Another Tuesday behind Dewey’s, but this time he’s puking up the few mouthfuls of food he managed before his father hauled him out the back - only because it was his mom’s week off and they were having a big family dinner. Louise resented those mid-week dinners; after a long day at work, having to make dinner for twenty-three people, and somehow find enough plates and chairs was the last thing she wanted to do. It was the only time Lydia would cross their father’s sight line, skinny and defiant.

If it had been a normal dinner, Jerry wouldn’t have dragged him out of the house. He would have beat him in the kitchen, yelling over Hettie’s sobs and Flo’s screams, and Louise’s pleading. He’s had a serving platter smashed over his head before, as well as a beer bottle, and a ceramic pitcher - one that had been made by Grandma Lillian, and Louise had sobbed over those broken shards.

His head is spinning, and he can’t remember exactly what he said to incite his father’s rage, though he remembers Uncle Bo’s jeers when he tried to stand up. The previous week’s wounds have reopened, and are bleeding onto his last decent t shirt. There’s vomit and alley-juice all over his jeans, and he wonders if he should drag himself to the hospital because his world is still spinning.

He wonders what will happen if he dies tonight; if Roy Lester finds him here in the morning, cold and dead. Most of the cops in town are from old families, and they’ve taken Lydia and Jasper back home enough times to know what goes on. It’s easier to picture the cover-up, that they’ll blame him and a make-believe schoolyard fight. Just a tragic accident.

Maybe then someone will help Lydia, help all of his sisters. Maybe it’ll be the thing that makes his mom leave.

He falls asleep facedown in the alley, and wants to cry when he wakes up the next morning to the bellow of school kids heading to the bus stop.

He was so goddamned close to it all being over.

So close.

—

“Do you need some help?”

It’s another Tuesday night, one that has come with busted ribs and possibly a dislocated shoulder. He missed lunch because of an English project, and his father had been drinking early, so he hasn’t eaten since breakfast. It’s making him feel sick, and wondering if anyone will notice if he sneaks in the back door of Dewey’s and grab some food.

And then someone is there and talking to him.

Her voice is high and sweet, and he expects a high school girl, maybe a sorority sister.

She is neither.

She’s only as tall as Flo, with uneven black hair curling around her cheeks. She’s one of the prettiest girls he has ever seen, with huge amber-coloured eyes that remind him of Hettie’s dolls and Lydia’s manga. She’s wearing a ragged button-up over a ruffled mini-skirt and leggings, with boots that look a size too big, a heavy man’s watch that hangs from her tiny wrist, and an ancient looking cadet’s cap - the entire effect makes him think of Oliver Twist as a female circus performer.

She walks over to him, and crouches in front of him, her head cocked to the side like a bird’s. He can only stare; other than the dark smudges under her eyes that speak of many sleepless nights, she is beautiful.

“Are you okay?” she asks, looking worried.

“Yeah,” he croaks, and winches as he jars his ribs. He doubles over, and cries out. She reaches out towards him but backs off just as suddenly.

“You’re hurt,” she says, looking bewildered and frightened. “Where?”

“I-It’s okay,” he manages, trying to reclaim his dignity in front of the prettiest girl. “I’ll be fine.”

The girl huffs. “Ugh, boys,” she mutters. “Hold on a second.” She gets up and slips out of the alley before he can beg her not to get help. In reality, going to the hospital is the last thing he should do - they can’t afford the bill, and they’ll call home and… no. Just no.

His head is spinning, so he finds it hard to tell how much time has passed, but eventually she returns. She’s clutching two bags, and marches right up to him and crouches back down.

“This will help,” she says, holding out painkillers and a bottle of water. He fumbles with the lids of both, but eventually swallows the pillows down. She watches him carefully. “Don’t drink too fast,” she advises. “Now, I can put your shoulder back in now, or we can wait. It’s up to you.”

He blinks at her slowly. “Now,” he decides.

“Okay,” she looks nervous, but moves forward. It’s all blurry in his mind, but there is something cold, then hot, angry pain, and then he’s blinking up at her again. “Sorry. But trust me, the worst is over now. At least I didn’t break it worse. Hungry?”

He blinks as she reaches for the other bag - a bag of Skittles, a packaged sandwich, two oranges, and a bag of potato chips. He’s not sure if he has a concussion or it’s an odd selection, but he’s also hungry enough that he doesn’t care.

“I nearly had to call Bella, to ask what to get - Edward never let me buy her food after the chicken incident - which was entirely Emmett’s fault - but I think I figured it out okay,” the girl jabbers, taking a seat beside him, and smiles at him. “Better no one knows where I am, anyway.”

“I… thanks,” he croaked, as he reached for the sandwich. She beams at him again, and then frowns.

“Eat, then we’ll finish patching you up. I’ve come too far to watch you die in this disgusting place,” she stretches her legs out in front of her.

The sandwich is dry, but he wolfs it down - an orange too, before he takes a breath - that hurts - and takes another look at the tiny girl beside him.

“Who are you?” he finally asks, and she looks up from her watch.

“Oh! I’m Alice,” she says. “Sorry, I forgot you didn’t know. Do you want your ribs taped now, or are you going to open those?” She points to the Skittles.

“Um, I…” he looks at the bag of candy. “Do you want some?” This feels like a fever dream; maybe he’s passed out and this is just what his banged-up brain has provided him with.

“No,” she shakes her head, and the cadet’s cap tilts a little on her head. “I can’t. They just looked nice. Happy.”

“Happy,” he echoes, looking at the red package.

“I hear that sometimes little things can help,” Alice says. “Come on, cowboy, take that shirt off and let me see those ribs.”

His side is mottled black and blue and purple, and moving in basically any direction is a new adventure in pain. Alice gasps at the sight, and then coos at him in a way that is oddly comforting as her fingers trace his ribs - the coldness of her fingers is actually wonderful against the pain. Then comes the painful stage - as she, not entirely gently enough, begins layering tape over the pain, his head is spinning.

“All done,” Alice says, and her voice is soft, and when he slumps against her shoulder, she doesn’t move away. She smells like old fashioned things, like roses and linen. It reminds him of the old family homestead. He finds his eyes closing, and his side aches in time with his heart, and then Alice’s gentle fingers are running through his hair.

“Sleep, Jasper,” she murmurs, “I’ll keep watch.”

He’s asleep before he realises he never told her his name.

—

She’s gone when he wakes up, and the Skittles are in his pocket - along with the painkillers. Happy.

It’s Wednesday morning, and it’s not exactly ‘happy’ he’s feeling, but he’s got candy in his pocket and time to go home for a shower and more food, so Alice was right - the little things do help.

—

She never turns up two Tuesdays in a row, but he does see her again. She’s always more prepared than the first time, with a bag that always seems to contain exactly what they need - in his less lucid states, he is reminded of Mary Poppins’ magic carpet bag as she produces snacks and first aid kits, and even clothing.

Her attempts at first aid are, at best, rough and she accidentally breaks two of his fingers and nearly ends up in tears when he yells in pain, and hugs him so tight, weeping into his neck, that he ends up trying to comfort her.

Sometimes he sleeps. She’s so thin and tiny that her shoulder isn’t a good pillow, and he feels like a shit man, letting such a tiny girl keep watch behind a bar. It wouldn’t take much to break her, and he can’t defend anyone in this state.

But some Tuesdays, he falls asleep anyway, breathing in that scent of fresh roses and linen, and listening to her chatter away about people he doesn’t know, about places he’s never visited, about books he’s never read.

Alice sounds like she’s living a really nice life. One week, she quizzes him on his Spanish before his examine the next day, and her accent is flawless. When her phone buzzes and buzzes and buzzes, and she ignores it, she usually swears - he doesn’t know in what language, one of the Eastern Asian ones he thinks - but it’s definitely a swear.

He wishes he could see her, talk to her, out in the real world and prove to her that he’s not just a beat-up kid. But she’s always gone on Wednesday mornings, and he doesn’t even know how to contact her anyway.

All in all, he met Alice in the reeking alley behind Dewey’s with a concussion, broken ribs, and a dislocated shoulder, and now she’s the best friend he’s ever had in the world.

He’s getting closer to that ‘happy’ concept that she mentioned the first time they met.

—

The last time he sees her, he’s bleeding and he’s pretty sure his eye socket is fractured. He’s pissed with himself because he wasn’t fast enough, smart enough, to stop his father from going after Flo. So he’d thrown a punch at his old man for the first time because Flo is his baby sister and all haunted eyes and he’ll never forget the sounds of her wailing after the belt struck her, but hitting the bastard back just fuelled him and … fuck.

Then Alice is there, in jeans with stars on the knees and a billowy purple top that is just opaque enough to obscure the skin underneath. She looks angry and frustrated, and doesn’t just sit next to him and open her bag like she usually does.

“It’s a stupid fucking decision you’re about to make,” she stamps her foot, “and I am so mad at you right now, but Carlisle and Edward have made me promise not to interfere. Carlisle says that everything I’m doing now is enough. And I’m already in enough trouble, honestly.”

He can taste foil again - definitely a fractured eye socket.

“What?” he manages, snappish and tired. He doesn’t need this. He wants sweet Alice, who helps him patch himself back together, and gets him food, and talks him to sleep. The one who makes him laugh, even when it hurts, and seems to be light-years ahead of him but that’s okay because she’s always so happy about whatever she’s telling him.

“I’m going to say this once,” she enunciates carefully, still glaring. “I will be here every Tuesday. Don’t make a dumb decision. There is always another choice.”

“You’re making less sense than normal,” he retorts. “Either help me, or go away - I’m not in the mood.”

“Happy freakin’ birthday,” she snaps, unbuckling her giant watch, and throws it at him before she storms back the way she came, leaving him behind.

#jaliceweek20 #alice cullen #jasper hale #jasper whitlock #vampire alice human jasper #my fic: against a wall #my writing: against a wall #alice is so unhelpfully helpful

31 notes · View notes

memcaked · 4 years ago

Text

Food

Source: Subarashiki kono Sekai | The World Ends With You

Characters: Kiryu “Joshua” Yoshiya, Sakuraba Neku, several minor OCs

Additional tags: Autistic Kiryu “Joshua” Yoshiya, Not beta read, TWEWYTOBER 2020, TWEWYTOBER

Summary: Yoshiya is a twelve-year-old watching his too-big TV that gives him many too-big headaches in his too-big house when he sees the commercial.

Beginning notes: Addendum: this was first written and uploaded on the day of October 6th, 2020. wahoo thought this'd be some magnus opus but nah. wrote this too late and too messily to really say that in good faith

what i do have for some reason is joshua's family tree planned out well despite only having 3 of the many facts i cooked up for this. names. i gave them all fucking names. and it never appeared

Body: Yoshiya is a twelve-year-old watching his too-big TV that gives him many too-big headaches in his too-big house when he sees the commercial. That mystical Fukurai lady who’s on radio sometimes kissing what he thought was grossly artificial strawberry KitKats that flew off through a crowd of young attractive party people, dancing and laughing and making out before being sealed in frilly pink and purple packaging. “Fukurai Sync Bars, 20,000 yen,” the ad announces, “Eat one, and you’ll be making friends without even trying!”

He almost spills the pint of vanilla ice cream over his bedsheets when he reaches for the remote to pause. Yoshiya scrambles for any paper in his room to scribble the name down. 20,000 yen on food doesn’t really matter that much to an atrociously affluent, antisocial boy.

There are so many good people, strong, nice, warm people he desperately wants to befriend. He sees friends locking arms and visiting each other all the time and always, always joined at the adoring hip. Yoshiya only really wants to talk to be people about two things; Tin Pin Slammurai, and the wings. It gets really hard to talk to people when one fast-tracks you to the counsellor’s office and everyone sees “that toy anime” and not for the intricacies and lore that Yoshiya sees it as. When his eyes aren’t glued to the animals and people running away he can see just outside the gates that nobody else can, he’ll try to introduce himself to stumble and lisp through all the hard sounds. If they don’t leave before then he realises the massive void-like gap between what he wants to talk about and what any regular classmate wants to talk about, and it opens like a fresh wound with every new person. Nothing is as interesting to him compared to Tin Pin.

The day after he buys and binges on the sync bars for the first time, the social science teacher talks about a group project in threes when he hears a complaint behind him. “Shit, might have to be partners with Yoshiya.”

“Can’t get enough of Yoshiya Kiryu,” the other one says, making Yoshiya’s mood ephemerally lift until he continues with “What are the fucking chances that the kid of two socialities inherited zero charisma from either of them?”

Yoshiya turns around. He sees something he can’t name shift in their faces. “Co’llection! You’ve made a,” he clears his throat and thinks of how to reword it, “mistaken over their occupations? My stepfather is in the political profethion, not a s-socialite as you say.”

“Keyword step. Socialite, politician, what’s the difference? They all involve speaking and charisma,” the boy behind him says. He tries to lower his voice, like its not something Yoshiya and his ears which always hurt from the noise should be hearing, “Mum’s always partying even when she’s rounding out the thirties and stepdad’s must spend all his time in Chiyoda... no fuckin’ wonder he doesn’t know how to talk.”

Yoshiya clears his throat, takes a deep breath. Tries his best to make sure he doesn’t trip over the syllables in his sorries. “I’m, I, apologise for my poor elocution,”“Your what?”Yoshiya stares wide-eyed, wringing his hands. “My manner of spee’ss?”

“God, you’re hopeless.” He waves Yoshiya away, “I’ve seen all I need to see. Please don’t talk with us again, we’ll find someone else for the project.” Yoshiya blinks once, twice, three times and it's all blurry and wet. He rehearses the sentences his impediments get in the way with in the mirror, thinks how to interact and get his point across, and even with the blessed bars he can’t get through. He claps his hands over his ears and hears all the gossip still.

“Politicians’ kids have it rough…. remember the… ? the press drools at a hyperactive kid… sad fate for…”

It never really does get better for Yoshiya. He unwraps more sync bars, gets rejected, sees the wings, eats more sync bars, meets a man who understands the wings, hears his mum’s booked a psychologist, craves the artificial strawberry of sync bars, learns the secret’s gotten to the school, sees a Drake up close and phases through the graffiti fire, eats the sync bars until everything ends.

Joshua doesn’t talk much about his death. When he’s asked about his last words, he says it’s “Friends, huh?”. That’s a lie. Sanae and him are the only ones who know what it actually is. But in his painting of Yoshiya as a fervent believer in philosophies that chewed him up, it’s how he wants him to have been remembered.

“What are you eating?” Neku’s eyes shift staring at Joshua’s food. “Don’t remember buying that.”

Joshua chews fast, swallows hard. “Sync bar,” he explains, “Some top medium in the country blesses this. It’s alright.” He stretches his hand out, offering another bar he was about to unwrap.

Neku pushes it back towards Joshua. “You like that shit?” Neku snorts, “What other weird things do you like? I’ve never met anyone who’s eaten that thing and enjoys it. Always 20,000 yen down the drain.”

Joshua unwraps the rejected sync bar, takes a first bite out of it. “If that’s what you think,” he says between chews.

#twewy #the world ends with you #joshua kiryu #yoshiya kiryu #neku sakuraba #06/10/2020 #twewytober 2020

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nintendocaffeine · 4 years ago

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Nintendo WIP

Taglist: @nintendo @niantic - @nele3299 - @hoodie-art

Nintendo is a so-called game company, but a game company wouldn't overlook such trivial details that are a huge impact on not only their games but their players. It's almost like they want to make all of their 'fans' or just people who could care less about them themselves and only play certain games not want to come back for any sequels or prequels to their games. It's like they didn't even bother to think about this mess until a bunch of people finally open their mouths about it, but that is a hard task. Even if I get no one's attention I want to make some points that at least everyone in the community can agree on.

Animal Crossing

People have either been playing animal crossing for years or only joined with the recently made New Horizons along with me. But in the most recent games, there have been a few things that are too blaring to overlook. It's almost like Nintendo wants to watch players suffer, which if the players suffer, the company suffers greatly too.

So the aspect is to have a bunch of villagers on your island and do a bunch of DIY's that look like 5-minute-crafts came up with how to make things. But I digress, for the most part, it does make some logical sense. But when you need to craft over ten packs of fish bait, it gets more than annoying. Or need to craft maybe four or ten chairs or benches or something seasonal. to have a perfect seasonal island for a month before switching it up again. It would be more than lovely to have the option to pick more than one. I know if you mash A a bunch it goes faster but that doesn't exactly make too much of a difference if you're making a bunch of the same item. Not only that but if you're buying maybe 10+ nook miles tickets, let's say you have 40,000 Nook Points, You can get twenty whole NMT, but pressing A and waiting, doing that twenty or more times depending on how many points you have? It's unbearable and not even finding the villager you want after hopping island to island and waiting hours and mashing A for the amount you want or need.

It shouldn't be hard to program in a counter. You make updates for all the wrong things, I feel.

Like the update to Animal Crossing Pocket Camp, needing a certain camera lens to play a game that actually doesn't require a camera lens like that? Nintendo had an update in November of last year where they cut more than half of their player base. Their phone needed a gyroscope camera, not even phones bought last year could run the game, apparently. I was one of the players affected. I spend actual money on that game. For what? Cosmetics I can't even see anymore? Can't even use? After a month of nothing I had to uninstall, I was told that I should wait but I just didn't have the storage anymore. Sadly. I went back to see the reviews, most people left even if they could still play it because they couldn't play with their friends or couldn't play period.

I want to point out Pokemon Go!

Pokemon Go uses a camera feature for their 3D Pokemon models, which is amazing! But why does that work and yet Pocket camp doesn't? Well, technically Nintendo doesn't own Pokemon Go, Niantic does. Niantic uses different software than Nintendo itself, that and they're two different apps, they were made very differently. But then why does the camera have to be a gyroscope for Pocket Camp and not Pokemon Go? Pokemon GO uses it's AR feature more than Pocket camp! This is true, but the camera feature isn't even needed with Pokemon Go either, it's optional. So then why is Pocket Camp different? Well, Google told app developers that all apps needed to be 64bit by next year. But what does 64bit have to do with a camera lens? The gyroscope lens is implemented in all 64bit phones, that's the difference. Pokemon Go might update soon too but for now, people with a 32bit phone can play it and use its AR features. But I don't know why Nintendo would conform to Google's rules, as Nintendo is its own company and if it's still getting money... Google takes a percentage of money from players as tax for the service, so both Nintendo and Google are taking a hit. I really don't get their thought process here, people are canceling their subscriptions and spending less on their games, people on Reddit and in Google reviews are both saying the same thing.

Oh, but this is where I talk about Pokemon Go now.

Pokemon Go

Pokemon Go is an amazing game that Nintendo can't touch. Until they wormed their way in with Pokemon Go Eevee/Pikachu. Soon you'll be able to transfer Pokemon from go onto your switch games! But... they can't return back to your phone. Here's the thing I want to do, if I have a two-star Pokemon in Pokemon Go and transfer it to make it a three-star with vitamins then I should be able to then send it back into Pokemon Go and dominate. But that's the thing. I can't. We don't even know if they way to make it go two ways or if it'll forever be a one-way transfer only.

I love how Niantic added Jessy and James even though Jessy as a 3d model looks... strange. I wonder if they'll add Butch and Cassidy, since they were also semi-part of the lore, they mainly just competed with Jessy and James. But this is just a thought I wanted out there. I want more diversity, honestly. But it would take a long time to implement, but I think it would be cute to see how it is implemented. It could be an event type deal and I'd still be happy just to even see them.

I want to congratulate them for finally putting in Kalos starters! I've been wanting a FenFen (Fennekin.)

Pokemon Mystery Dungeon Explorers

Okay, so I've played Pokemon Mystery Dungeon Explorers of Time and Darkness, and let me tell you the anime for it was amazing too. I wanted more. There was a 3Ds version, hated it. Circles... I gave up and restarted twice and haven't touched it for so long since it just.. wasn't as good as the original. I've been meaning to play Sky but one thing at a time. There has been a lot of people talking about the starters, and boy oh boy I'm on the bandwagon late. I was curious about the personality quiz but seeing everyone say want starter is best with what partner and seeing how everyone said 'Don't be Totodile and Mudkip!' or 'Don't be Eevee and Skitty!' it just made me confused since you... technically couldn't have two of the same type of starters. What in the heck were those people thinking? But that isn't entirely a point. The point is starters. In the switch version of Mystery Dungeon, there are some things I just cannot say. The starter selection of awful. What happened to the Unova starters? You added Cubone but not Riolu? Where did you put my baby shinx?

The starters were pretty meh, they could have added more in my opinion. The screen surely could handle it. Also, the animations for the starters weren't even special or fantastic so it wouldn't have been that hard. I hate the walking animation for Eevee. I picture for Mudkip and Skitty it's not much better.

I've played it for three days and was so disappointed. First off, my partner, an AI? I had to literally kill him for my starter could get back to the same level. Thanks, blast seeds. But if I am being honest in found it to be so funny. Not only that but in said Dungeons, on any floor the boss could just be there and without warning. You could have explored the entire floor and it just appears randomly, or might not even be there. Hate that.

Also, there are no party rooms. I miss the party rooms. The party rooms are rooms that randomly fill up with Pokemon either if you hit a tile for the party room, somehow get the room by being dropped there with or without your partner (and co), or if you enter it from a path. I barely ever get past them but it would be a good experience. Also, you can only have yourself, your partner, and whatever one Pokemon you want with you. In previous games, you could have two addons. What happened to that?

Not to mention that in the story, you suddenly are exiled and after beating two birbs you then fight, Ninetails covers for you and says it isn't you, and then everything is suddenly.. just okay? All fine and dandy? So many people wanted to literally kill you over a rumor. If you died once you would lose 5,000 P and items. Um, excuse you. At the end of the journey, I gathered a little over 5,000 P because I'm a money-hungry person who wants to open all of the camps. But again, I know we'd have to go and find Ninetails and figure out the story but that.. wasn't the way to do it. You get past maybe six dungeons and are hit with that suddenly. I would get it if it was mid-game and they suddenly found out the secret and everyone was like 'you were so nice, what happened?' 'Why was it you?' 'You lied to all of us' and it broke my heart, that just upset me. None of them even let the starter explain, and even if they did the option was literally only dots. Also, why was my partner so supportive? They're just so baby and it's killing me. That's just my take on what they could have improved on.

If you want to add on, add your own, or say anything, feel free below or to message me so we can talk about this more. Thanks for the read, lets hope this gets covered on some youtube channel for 'controversy' or just to be agreed on.

#Nintendo #Niantic #Pokemon #Pokemon Go #Pokemon Mystery Dungeon #Animal Crossing #Animal Crossing New Horizons #ACNH #Animal Crossing Pocket Camp #ACPC

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in-arlathan · 5 years ago

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Elenara Lavellan

Elven rogue and archer, specialized as Artificer

Hunter of Clan Lavellan, Inquisitor and Comtesse of Kirkwall

Finally, I managed to update Elenara’s profile and biography. Yay me! I wanted to do this for the longest time. The first iteration of her biography was rather short and I have developed her character since then a lot more through little posts here on Tumblr and fanfiction. I didn’t even know how many head-canons I had for Elenara until I started writing this. This made it so much more fun (and challenging).

I hope you enjoy reading this, although I know this a big reference post for myself for the most part. If you wanna know more about my Lavvelan, you’ll more posts about her via her tag.

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PROFILE

Full name: Elenara Lavellan Race: Dalish elf Class: Rogue, archer Specialization: Artificer Nationality: Free Marches Religion: Elven gods

Biometrics

Age: 32 (in 9:41 Dragon) Eye color: Green Hair color: Blonde Height: 1,55 m / 5,1 feet Weight: 43 kg / 86 pounds Vallaslin: Dirthamen Scars: Two facial scars (left eye, left side of her jaw), one on the lower back (from an arrow), two on the abdomen (from stab wounds).

____

CHARACTER TRAITS

Positive: Empathetic, patient, and open-minded. Negative: Too trusting, tends to avoid confrontations, prone to procrastination

Motivation and goals

Elenara is driven by the desire to understand–be it politics, history or people. She always looks for the why and goes out of her way to see the world from other people’s perspective. Her goal is to create a world in which the people of Thedas can learn to co-exist peacefully.

Strengths and weakness

Due to her empathetic traits, she is a good mediator and knows how to broker a deal between different parties. She can make everyone feel valued and appreciated and thus build strong alliances between parties that would otherwise be at odds with each other. This strength is also the source of her greatest weakness. Her trustworthiness and forgiveness can be exploited by different people. Oftentimes, Elenara will not know that she has been betrayed until it’s too late.

Special abilities

She is a hunter first and foremost, skilled with the bow as much as a blade. As a young woman, she would learn how to mend old armor and sow new clothing. Her talent with a needle became useful when patching up injured hunters in the absence of a healer or medical professional. She is used to closing her own wounds, even if they will leave a scar.

Dreams and aspirations

As a young girl, she would dream about going to visit the Grand Tourney. As she became older, she aspired to attending a university to further her studies and be up-to-par with human scholars.

Best friends and confidants

With the Lavellan clan: Deshanna, Erendir and Almaril With the Inquisition: Varric, Dorian and Cassandra

Likes, dislikes and other preferences

Loves roasted chestnuts

Likes to sleep in open fields

Enjoys being alone in the woods,

Can spend hours on end daydreaming

Despises human shoes, but has a nack for make-up. Lipstick, especially.

Red is her favourite color

Nicknames

While the faithful called her “Herald of Andraste”, she never took much liking to the title. She prefered the nicknames given to her by relatives and friends like Nara (used by members of her clan), Aunt Ell (by the children of her friend Erendir), as well as Inky or Boss. After the Exalted Council, Varric would start to call her “Comtesse”⎯an ironic reference to the informal title she owned thanks to him.

→ You’ll find her biography (plus screenshots) behind the cut.

____

BIOGRAPHY

Early years

Born in 9:09 Dragon as the daughter of the former First Hunter of the Lavellan clan, Elenara learned how to provide for herself and her kin at a very early age and became a fairly skilled archer. With a gift for crafts and needlework, she would often create new clothing or armor of her fellow hunters and help their healers tend to the wounded.

After the death of her father in 9:22 Dragon, she became fascinated with the lore and history of Thedas. More often than not, she would wander away from the camp to search for old ruins, until the keeper decided to provide Elenara with books to study instead. From then onward, the young hunter would craft new clothing to sell in the various cities in the Free Marches to pay for her education.

When coming of age, she decided to have the vallaslin of Dirthamen, keeper of secrets, tattooed to her face, as she felt drawn to the past of her people and the secrets it might hold. At the age of 31, she was knowledgeable about history, politics and the culture of various nations, which made her the perfect candidate when it was time for the keeper to choose a clan member to witness the conclave at Haven.

Although she deeply cared for her clan, only a few members ever got close to Elenara after her father’s death. Her aunt Irileth, her father’s younger sister, took care of her but became estranged from her niece when Elenara had grown into a woman. From then on, Elenara spent most of her time with Erendir, a young hunter only three years older than her. She admired his kindness and practicality while he was fascinated with her curiosity. For a time, they maintained in intimate relationship, until Erendir asked her to be his wife and have children with him.

Joining the Inquisition

When she was asked to attend the Divine’s conclave in Haven, she was eager to go, but uncertain how she or her clan could benefit from the outcome of the mage-templar war. Using her knowledge of human society, she managed to blend in with the crowd at the Temple of Sacred Ashes.

Being a simple hunter beforehand, she was confused by the explosion at the conclave and its aftermath. When she saw the destruction the Breach caused in Haven, she agreed to help in the efforts to stop this madness. She was reluctant when it came to joining the Inquisition however. Being a firm believer in the elven pantheon, Elenara had no ties with the chantry. Being called “Herald of Andraste” felt like deception to her, and so she never actively claimed that title for herself. She ultimately agreed to help Cassandra, Leliana and Cullen to form the Inquisition to secure her own safety and play her part in closing the Breach.

Her biggest concern in the early days of the Inquisition was to save the refugees in the Hinterlands and other regions of Ferelden and protected them from rebel mages and rogue templars alike. Soon, she became known for her compassion and temperance among the Inquisition forces.

With her choice to side with the rebel mages at Redcliffe, Elenara gained a whole heap of enemies, but also new powerful allies.

Becoming Inquisitor

After the descruction of Haven, Elenara struggled with her new role as Inquisitor. Being a firm believer in the elven Creators, she never quite felt at ease with leading the armies of the faithful, and she kept her thoughts on the matter fairly secret. Although her confidants knew about her doubts, she played along with the diplomatic charade Leliana had set up. She knew all too well that this was the only way to stop Corypheus before he could cloak the world.

In the back of her head, she was trying to find a way to use her new power as leverage to help her people–the elves.

Wicked Eyes and Wicked Hearts

After ending the conflict in the Dales between the imperial forces and the so-called Freeman, it was time to prevent the assassination attempt on Empress Celene. Leliana, Josphine and Vivienne would teach Elenara in the rules of the Great Game in preparation, as well as dancing and ettiquette.

Upon arriving in Halamshiral, Elenara found herself in a state of true panic for the first time since she joined the Inquisition. Right there, in the heart of the Dales where her people once fought for their freedom, she came to realize that she was no longer studying history, but making it with her own hands. Being looked down upon from the Orlesian nobles didn’t do much to help her ease into the situation. She had no fondness for the great game of deception the Orlesians like to play, although she managed to find her way around the Winter Palace. It was painfully clear that there was more at stake than her own reputation. Not just for the Inquisition, but for the elves in general.

In the end, she managed to confront Florianne de Chalons in front of the imperial court, putting an end to her plan to kill the empress. Elenara also managed the reveal delicate details about Grand-Duke Gaspard’s plans to usurpe the throne, and Celene had her cousin executed in response. Elenara’s goal was to reconcile Celene with her former lover to give the elven rebel an edge in Orlesian politics, but the empress exiled Briala instead. Elenara had Leliana and her spies keep an eye out for Briala’s whereabouts since she, too, was interested in helping the elves of Thedas.

Relationship with Solas

As Inquisitor, Elenera used every chance she got to deepen her knowledge of the world. Naturally, she would gravitate towards Solas, who knew more about the history of the world than anyone else she had ever met. She was fascinated by his abilities as a dreamer and would often listen to the stories he had found during his exploration of the Fade. More than that, she saw in him what the elves might be: proud, confident, and respected. Soon, she found herself infatuated with him though keep this to herself until the Inquisition reached Skyhold.

Even after their first kiss in the Fade, Elenara tried to keep her feelings for him fairly secret, meeting with Solas in private whenever possible. Afraid to admit that she had fallen in love with him, she tried to keep up the illusion of them being close friends in front of her companions. An endeavour that was destined to fail, as Varric and Dorian soon discovered the truth about the couple. And yet, Elenara stalled and put of saying “I love you” as long as possible – until one night by a lake near Crestwood.

More on her relationship with Solas here:

OTP Questions #1

OTP Questions #2

Death of the Lavellan clan

Shortly after the events at the Winter Palace, a messenger arrived with a terrible message. Bandits had attacked and killed the Lavellan clan. Any help from the Inquisition came too late.

After the death of her clan, Elenara was so devastated that she practically avoided any mention of them. She felt miserable and ashamed to have not been there to fight among them, and wouldn’t let Solas or any of her other companions comfort her. That was, until a few survivors arrived in the Frostback mountains. Among them were Erendir and his wife Almaril.

Happy to have them back in her life, Elenara offered them a place at Skyhold, but they refused. Almaril hated Elenara for joining the Inquisition while the clan had needed her, although she knew her friend had good reasons to stay in Haven. The bigger problem was Erendir, however. Although he had ended the relationship with Elenara at his own volition and went on to have children with Almaril, he didn’t fail to notice the attachment his former lover felt for Solas. Erendir had loved Elenara deeply and still regretted ending things between them, because she refused to have children with him. Seeing her with Solas, who was a better match for her than Erendir had ever been, made it even worse.

One night, he confronted Solas to learn more about the apostate‘s feelings for Elenara, eventually bragging about his shared past with her. Despite being tempted to teach the other elf a lesson, Solas left Erendir where he stood, determined to never speak of the matter again. When Elenara got wind of this, she felt betrayed and asked Erendir and Almaril to leave Skyhold. She made sure, however, that the Inquisition provided for them and the other surviving clan members before they parted ways.

Here Lies The Abyss & The Temple of Mythal

After the remaining members of the Lavellan clan left Skyhold, the Inquisition armies marched for Adamant Fortress. Interrupting the ritual with which the Grey Wardens would have summoned a demon army, Elenara and her party were attacked by Corphyeus’s lyrium dragon. Opening a rift, she managed to safe Warden Strout, Hawke and herself, as well as Solas, Cassandra and Dorian who had accompanied her on the mission.

After retrieving her memories and defeating the Nightmare, Elenara pressed on to stop Corypheus as soon as possible. After freeing Emprise the Lion from the red templars, she order a coordinated attack on the enemy troups in the Arbor Wilds.

Once again, she was accompanied by Solas, Cassandra, and Dorian as she entered the Temple of Mythal. Under differenty circumstances, finding the temple would be a life-long wish of hers fulfilled. Tempted to stay and study the ancient relief in the temple to learn as much about the past of her people, only the immediate danger of Corypheus taking the power of the Well of Sorrows let her press on.

Elenara sided with the Sentinels to bring down the red templars that attacked the ancient temple. Afraid of the power of the Well and what might do it with her, Elenara decided to let Morrigan drink from the waters and be bound to Mythal’s will.

When she ventured deeper into the Arbor Wilds to find the altar of the Mythal, Elenara had already begun to suspect that something was wrong. Until then, her belief in the elven gods had been unfaltering, but knowing that the All-Mother still lived and had chosen to ignore the plight of her people made her question their authority. Had she been unsure if she could continue her life as a Dalish elf and came to except that she had to become some else entirely.

The Vallaslin Removal

When Solas told her about the true meaning of the vallaslin, Elenara was deeply hurt. Though she had taken some pride in being Dalish and loved her people for trying to preserve elven history, she was disappointed by the elven Creators by this point that she wanted to leave her past and devotion for them behind. Therefore, she allowed Solas to take the vallaslin from her.

The Battle With Corypheus And After

Rattled by the events at the Temple of Mythal and the break-up with Solas, Elenara dove head first into the final confrontation with Corypheus, not hesitating to face the Tevinter magister in the Valley of Sacred Ashes. Fully prepared to die in battle, she fights her nemesis with brute force. When she finally obtained the orb from Corypheus’s hands, she banished the magister to the Fade without batting an eyelide. It was the first time, she came into contact with her darker side and gave in to her own lust for revenge.

After the battle and Solas disappearance, she began to feel exhausted, drained from the struggles. Slowly, she descended into a state of depression. Not only had she lost her clan, but also her home, her faith in the Creators and her identity, as well as the man she had come to love. Knowing all to well that it would be best for her to move on and find new purpose in live, she clung to her former life and couldn’t stop loving Solas. To distract herself, she took on the mission of finding the resting place of Inquistor Ameridan and was eager to help out with the earthquakes in the Deep Roads. Until...

The Exalted Council and the Qunari Invasion

Two years after the destruction of Haven, Cassandra, now known as Divine Victoria, called for an Exalted Council in Halamshiral. Returning to the city in which she had fought so hard to gain the respect of the Orlesian nobles – and humans in general – Elenara final came to the conclusion that in it was time to move on. She had felt lost for too long know and it was taking a toll on her. So, when the time came to meet with the ambassadors of Ferelden and Orlais, she fully expected the negotiations to result the the disbanding of the Inquisition.

And yet, when a qunari corpse was found in the middle of the Winter Palace, she felt that sense of purpse again. Dealing with the threat that the qunari posed gave her something to do, something she was actually good at. Even when the anchor was beginning to effect her health, she kept on going, determined to make herself useful again.

What she didn’t expect was to find out that Fen’Harel, the Dread Wolf, was orchestrating the events from behind the scenes. With what she had learned about Mythal, Elenara was willing to believe that Fen’Harel was a living and breathing entity, too. When she learned that Solas was the trickster god she learned to fear as a child, her world was shattered once again. Not even once did she consider joining him, for she had fought to hard to protect the world as she knew it. Even without a purpose and without a new identity that transcended her role as Inquisitor, she knew she could not let Solas go forth with his plans, no matter how much she still loved him.

After the Exalted Council

Learning that the Inquisition has been compromised by qunari spies and Fen’Harel’s agents, she executed her initial plan of disbanding the entire organization as soon as she and her party returned to the Winter Palace.

With the Inquisition gone, Elenara found herself free to go wherever she wanted. Now holding the title “Countess” in Kirkwall, she returned to the Free Marches and tried to settle in to her new estate in Hightown while corresponding with Cassandra, Dorian, Cullen and Leliana to coordinate the activities to counter Solas’s plan. She felt confident working from underground and plotting to redeem her former lover.

Six months after the painful revelation of Solas being Fen’Harel and Elenera’s fruitless attempts to learn more about her lovers whereabouts, she called in a few favors and went to Val Royeaux to attend the University of Orlais–one of the first elves to ever do so. The university gave her access to ancient documents with which she planned to further her studies on Fen’Harel, while her presence allowed elves to pursue an academic career more openly. Elenara fought for their rights for higher education, using her reputation as Inquisitor and “Herald of Andraste” as well as her acquaintance with Professor Kenric as leverage.

And there she remains, until she finds a way to change the Dread Wolf’s heart or counter his plan to destroy the world.

#dragon age #dragon age inquisition #female inquisitor #female lavellan #f!lavellan #elenara lavellan #my ocs

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zenithlux · 5 years ago

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Master Story List

Wanna know where to start? Check here! Due to the sheer amount of stories in the Blazing Tempest Series, that will be below the other fandoms and unrelated stories.

Final Fantasy 14:

End of Ascalon: (M) A Savior’s work is never done, and for Z'iyanna, her greatest trial has just begun. With the Scions dead or missing, and her companions desperate for answers, her only hope lies in Ishgard. But the people there are as cold as the endless snow, and Z'iyanna knows she will not last long in this war-torn world if any knew of the dreadwyrm bound to her aether.

Devil May Cry

Crescendo: After a rather undramatic return to the human world, Vergil is left waiting for... something. Overwhelmed by this new life, struggling to see eye-to-eye with his son, and stifled by his overprotective brother, Vergil searches for a purpose. What he gets is a cheerful new acquaintance with a demonic companion and mysterious injury she tries to ignore. But no matter how unlikely partnership is (him? Friends with a human? Impossible), that may be just what Vergil needs to reconnect with the world he once thought unworthy.

Only the Best: (Vergil x Reader): In which you try to make a special Valentine’s Day for a certain blue devil who’s never had anyone to celebrate it with.

A Dream is a Wish: (NeroxKyrie): In which Nero and Kyrie decide to spend Valentine’s Day with those that need it the most.

Blazing Tempest/Through the Ashes

If you wish to fast track through the series (to understand more recent posts) the three you’ll want to read are: Blazing Tempest, Solitude and Solidarity, and Divergence. The rest add content to the series/lore, but are not necessarily needed to understand the core plot.

If 400k words feels like a lot (because it is), I’ve also made a “catch-up guide” for every important event from Blazing Tempest to the beginning of Alpha and Omega. If that’s more your jam, you can find it here! (Does not include summaries of all short stories, only important events.)

Blazing Tempest: (M) After years in hell, the Sparda twins encounter a half-breed from a family believed to be dead, on the run from a demon out to destroy the world. But with the devil hunters divided, undying demons after legendary power, and Vergil struggling to understand the humanity he once abandoned, the battle for life may be over before its even begun.

A Week With You: (T) When Nero demands that Vergil take a week off to spend time with his wife, what he expects is a boring few days of reading and quiet time in the house. What he gets is a hectic schedule, a strange robot in every corner of the house, conversations with his eccentric human half, and the realization that his priorities may need some… fine-turning

Nightmares: (T): When Vergil’s wife is gravely injured in what should have been a standard demon-hunting job, Vergil decides to enlist some extra help. But when his plans lead him to the Underworld, Nero is determined to go with him. But doing so will cause Vergil to face new nightmares he didn’t remember making, and force Nero to confront doubts he never wanted to share.

"Future Endeavors: (G) When Vergil is left home alone for a weekend, Dante and Nero are quick to abuse his omnipotent A.I. Alice who may or may not have access to Vergil’s bank account. And while he’s losing his mind, Kyrie, Nico, and his wife are off on a retreat where Kyrie learns some life-changing (but welcome) news.

Youth, Love, and Dreams: (G) While Vergil met his mate many years ago, when they were only children, his memories are limited to vague dreams and childhood wishes. Maybe, if things had been different, then his story would have had a different ending. But at least she’s there now to show him the joy in the future he’s found himself in.

Solitude and Solidarity: (M) As Kyrie prepares for the birth of her twins, her half-demon doctor is worried things might not go as well as planned. Meanwhile, Vergil faces a crisis of his own as his wife’s painful memories come back to haunt them, and threaten to take away a future neither of them realized they wanted.

’Til the End of Time: (G) Five months after the birth of the twins, both Kyrie and Vergil’s wife are still tired and on edge, struggling with an uncertain future. But when Kyrie and Nico decide to throw a wedding at Vergil’s expense, all of them find a reason to be happy, despite the sadness still tugging on their hearts.

Back to the Basics: (E) Six months since the birth of Nero’s twins and Vergil’s near-death experience, he decides (with a rather unsubtle push from Dante) to try and cheer his wife up with a romantic night together. But six months is a long time to be apart, and Vergil quickly realizes that even he has more to learn. For he’s forgotten the true depth of their rather supernatural relationship, along with the relief (and pleasure) it can bring for them both; but only if he’ll let it.

Never Alone: (G) The darkness of his past never really left him, no matter how far he goes or how little he remembers it. The nightmares are always there, threatening in the weakest moments of his life to tear Vergil apart. But there are those who will never let him fall.

Dastardly Red Fiend: (G) On the fourth birthday of his grandchildren, Vergil finds himself roped into a costume party against his will. And between that, Dante’s schemes, and the dozens of kids driven to sugar madness, his chances of making it through the night (sane) are slim to none. But when Dante’s “challenge” comes to fruition, its up to Vergil and Nero to rescue their family from the “Dastardly Red Fiend”. In a ‘Family Friendly’ way, of course.

Reminisce: (G) Vergil’s grandchildren may sometimes be a hassle, but he’s determined to never let them down. Sometimes, though, he wonders how life may have been if he’d been there for his own son from the beginning.

Divergence: (M) When Dante forces Vergil to join him on a road trip of a mission for Vergil’s anniversary, Dante doesn’t expect to find an old partner of his own. Unfortunately, Lucia does not seem to be the same woman she once was, and its up to Dante to learn why before its too late. Meanwhile, Vergil and Ashira are caught in the mysterious deaths of Reavers by a demon only known as the Shade, targetting those who escaped the Underworld. And as things take a turn for the worse, Vergil realizes that this new threat may jeopardize everything he’s built for himself and his family, even if they do defeat it without losing one of their own.

Inheritance: (G) Nero has a rather simple question for his father. What he gets out of it is unexpected, but not unwelcome. After all, it’s never too late to figure things out between them.

Rekindle: In which Vergil learns how to drive and Dante seeks Vergil’s help on matters of the heart.

Intoxication: In which Dante gets his entire family drunk.

Purr-plexed: In which Dante is turned into a cat and his family has to fix it.

Alpha and Omega: After Vergil invites his family to the Underworld, he expects quality time on his side of the universe. But when his wife is struck by nightmarish visions, a mysterious power separates the family into various worlds, each one doomed to fade away. Only by finding the secret behind the "Perfect Paradox" can Vergil save his family. But the sacrifice needed to do so may be too much to bear, especially when he learns that his own ending may have been manipulated from the start.

Smoldering Embers: (T) Through the Ashes/Feathers of Eternity one-shot collection focusing on Vergil’s relationship with his long term partner from Blazing Tempest.

Snowfall: In which they have a snowball fight. Twenty-Something: In which Ashira distracts Vergil with an odd question Only a Moment: In which Vergil tries to bake. Broken Dreams: Ashira struggles to move on after the events of Solitude and Solidarity, but Vergil is always there to help.

Promises: (E) In which Vergil keeps one of his (intriguing) drunken promises, much to his wife’s delight.

Promises 2.0 (E): A second promise, as per request.

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f4liveblogarchives · 5 years ago

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Fantastic Four Vol 1 #200

Mon Aug 26 2019 [01:59 AM] Wack'd: Alright, here we go. [01:59 AM] Wack'd: FANTASTIC FOUR VOL 1 NO 200: [02:00 AM] Bocaj: WILL IT BE BETTER THAN AVENGERS 200?? [02:00 AM] Bocaj: HOW CAN IT NOT BEEEEE? [02:00 AM] Wack'd: I just skimmed it and an alien does actually forcibly impregna--nah I'm just kiddin' [02:01 AM] Wack'd: So Doom's throwing himself a little pity party and Reed's like "uh, maybe we hang back a minute?" [02:02 AM] Bocaj: hah [02:02 AM] Wack'd: But Ben is, of course, not having it [02:03 AM] Wack'd: Uh...Ben aided in the destruction of his clone by.......?????

[02:04 AM] Wack'd: His memory doesn't take long to revise itself, does it [02:04 AM] maxwellelvis: By being friends with Reed Richards, I assume? [02:05 AM] Bocaj: Being adjacent [02:05 AM] Wack'd: Oh, in the Saul Goodman meaning of culpability whereby any wrongdoing that sufficiently scars you justifies all your actions [02:05 AM] Wack'd: Sure [02:06 AM] Wack'd: Anyway Doom uses a force field in his suit to shove the Four back to buy himself time to see to his clone's body [02:07 AM] Wack'd: ...they were on a balcony

[02:09 AM] Wack'd: Ben does his usual thing of trying brute force and Reed does his usual thing of randomly guessing why that won't work and being right and Ben does his usual thing of grumbling about it [02:09 AM] Wack'd: Wondering if this is a "Reed and Doom aren't so different" moment or just reenforcing the status quo

[02:10 AM] Wack'd: "Leading an armed insurgency into the UN is the same as giving them a present and offering to depose myself, right?"

[02:11 AM] Wack'd: So the mob's gotten bigger [02:12 AM] Wack'd: I like that Zorbo's got a superhero build and bone structure and literally every other Latverian is still drawn like an extra from a Universal Frankenstein picture

[02:14 AM] Wack'd: Doom siccs a tornado on his subjects [02:14 AM] Wack'd: Coulda done that last issue when the protest started but I guess now he's got nothing left to loose [02:16 AM] Wack'd: Then he takes his personal jet, his statue, and "equipment" he's kinda cagey about to the UN [02:17 AM] Wack'd: Daredevil's gonna sue someone

[02:17 AM] Wack'd: Maybe he'll hire that Matt Murdoch guy. I've heard good things [02:19 AM] Wack'd: Meanwhile, the Four escape. Reed slithers through the door's keyhole at great personal risk because touching anything will vaporize him [02:19 AM] Wack'd: They really should just get a fucking sonic screwdriver [02:19 AM] maxwellelvis: It's Operation! The Wacky Doctor Game! [02:20 AM] Wack'd: heheheh [02:20 AM] Wack'd: So Reed, Sue, and a miraculously-okay Zorbo search for and find Doom's secret plans [02:21 AM] Wack'd: While Ben and Johnny free Alicia [02:21 AM] maxwellelvis: Doom's plan, more or less: 1 2 3 [02:22 AM] Wack'd: Sure [02:22 AM] maxwellelvis: More or less. [02:22 AM] maxwellelvis: There wasn't a panorama of that scene I could grab. [02:22 AM] Wack'd: This is a pretty good moment

[02:23 AM] Wack'd: Minus Johnny's cool-guy posturing at the end there [02:24 AM] maxwellelvis: While also trying to play it cool about how little action he's been getting lately. [02:24 AM] Wack'd: Maybe if he tried asking out someone who wasn't afraid of fire [02:25 AM] Wack'd: ...whatever happened to Valeria from the 5th Dimension? Did they break up in Johnny's solo book or did Marvel just kinda forget about her [02:28 AM] Wack'd: So the short answer is Johnny's solo has been over for three years by this point! And yeah after that everyone just forgot her [02:29 AM] Wack'd: Hell Marvel Wiki doesn't mention any followup on their relationship in Johnny's solo book, so [02:29 AM] Wack'd: Into the ether with her [02:30 AM] Wack'd: Anyway--Chapter 2! We're back to doing chapters now! Exciting! [02:31 AM] Wack'd: The Four and Doom have both arrived in NY. Reed and Johnny are fighting Doom directly while Sue and Ben head to the UN [02:32 AM] Wack'd: Sorry, Johnny overdoes it against some areal missiles and retreats back to the Pogo Plane [02:32 AM] Wack'd: Time for the highly-anticipated Reed/Doom cage match [02:33 AM] Wack'd: Not like this is a team book or anything

[02:34 AM] Wack'd: There's a quick recap before the fight and it's retconned the college actually condemned Doom's experiment to go to the netherworld [02:35 AM] Wack'd: Thus ending one of my favorite dumb bits of comic book lore, which is that Doom got a grant for that [02:36 AM] Wack'd: Round one goes to Doom! Reed tries to dismantle Doom's suit and gets electrocuted [02:37 AM] Wack'd: Probably should've remembered he tried that on a robot two issues ago and got the same result [02:38 AM] Wack'd: Round two! Reed's been lured into the MURDER ROOM! Mechanical tendrils, lasers, robots! [02:38 AM] Wack'd: In keeping with Doom's "fair play" policy, all the traps have solutions, but eventually Reed will be worn down and miss a step and get, presumably, murdered [02:39 AM] Bocaj: Wherein Doom is a Saw [02:39 AM] Wack'd: Meanwhile, in the UN [02:40 AM] Wack'd: It occurs, perhaps too late, that it's probably a bad idea to send a giant-size statue of yourself as a gift to the people planning to vote you out of their organization for war crimes

[02:41 AM] Wack'd: Also: wouldn't be a commemoration of the long, proud history of Fantastic Four without some racial/nationalistic caricatures, I guess [02:41 AM] maxwellelvis: Now, these are his Servo-Guards, right? [02:42 AM] Wack'd: These are humans I'm pretty sure based on the last few issues [02:42 AM] maxwellelvis: I just assumed with how tight to the face those nose things are [02:42 AM] Wack'd: Doom doesn't design for comfort [02:42 AM] maxwellelvis: And the identical sunken cheeks on all of them. [02:43 AM] maxwellelvis: It's one of those things like Psycho-Man's mask [02:43 AM] maxwellelvis: At one point in the 80's the inker forgets that it is a mask and just draws him as a very ugly man. [02:43 AM] Wack'd: In fairness that's a lot of Fantastic Four baddies [02:44 AM] maxwellelvis: I know. It's just those sorts of coloring errors bug me. [02:44 AM] Wack'd: So it turns out Doom is planning on doing something to the UN with this statue and that massive hall of mirrors that's also a solar power center from back in 196 [02:44 AM] Wack'd: Bet you forgot about that thing, didn't you? [02:45 AM] Wack'd: So Doom is about to Do the Thing when Reed surprises him by having broken out of the Murder Room [02:45 AM] Wack'd: (He slipped inside the nozzle of a gas gun and exploded out of its ammo tank) [02:46 AM] Wack'd: Wouldn't be a commemoration of the long, proud history of Fantastic Four without Reed pulling a solution out of his ass that the narrative expects us to believe he had planned from the very beginning

[02:47 AM] Wack'd: How did he fit that through the nozzle of a gas gun, anyway [02:47 AM] maxwellelvis: "Wasn't easy" [02:49 AM] Wack'd: Reed tries to convince Doom to give up on petty revenge and join the good guys [02:50 AM] Wack'd: But Doom retorts that he's not interested in revenge, he genuinely believes he deserves power, because the murder of his mother proved to him that everyone who's not him is a "superstitious, frightened pack of cloddish morons" [02:52 AM] Wack'd: Doom manages to activate his statue which hypnotizes all the UN delegates into attacking Sue, Johnny, and Ben [02:52 AM] Wack'd: And Doom and Reed finally spend a few pages punching each other a lot, which is what we all wanted, I guess [02:54 AM] Wack'd: "I DON'T CARE ABOUT PETTY REVENGE! ALSO, ADMIT YOU WRONGED ME!"

[02:56 AM] Wack'd: And so, Zorbo takes his rightful place as acting leader until elections can be set up. Sets Doom up with some mental health care too which is nice of him by 70s standards

[02:57 AM] Wack'd: It was nice of the UN to let Doom have his evil hypnotic statue back

[02:57 AM] maxwellelvis: And some attempted biblical symbolism from Marv [03:01 AM] Wack'd: Thus ends the first 200 issues of Fantastic Four [03:01 AM] Wack'd: Jesus fuck [03:01 AM] Wack'd: Cannot believe I read 200 installments of anything ever [03:03 AM] Wack'd: I will try not to take a multi-year hiatus again like I did around the time I hit 100

#1978 #Marv Wolfman #Keith Pollard #The Main Book

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vapormaison · 5 years ago

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2019 Best Vinyl Pressing 1/4: 魂のための歌 by 憂鬱

Preface: Throughout the month of December, Vapor Maison will be nominating “BEST OF” albums of 2019. Slots will remain open for this month’s releases. Categories include Best Vaporwave Release, Best Future Funk Release, Best Re-Release (V & FF), and Best City Pop Re-Release, among others. This is one nominee for best Vinyl Press.

Author’s Note: For the writer’s ease of writing and readers ease of reading, I’ll be using the transliteration of 憂鬱:Yūutsu, and the translation of “Soul’s Song” in lieu of “魂のための歌”. I’ll maintain the Japanese track listings for easy reference. Apologies to Purity, a maiden as tedious as she is cruel.

Are the merits of a vaporwave album on vinyl even worth reviewing?

Obviously, you’re reading a vaporwave vinyl review — creating a sort of circuit — so in the strictest sense of the word, yes, — but naturally, a follow up question must be asked by any smart music consumer. If so much of vaporwave, and by extension future funk, is centered around digital manipulation of either computer programs (vocaloid, electronic loops, midis, drum kits, etc), and pre-existing digital rips of j-pop (by definition most of future funk) — what’s the point of a vinyl press? Pressing mp3s onto vinyl is pointless — as no amount of “warmth” from a vinyl-based Hi-Fi system will ever make up for a low-quality source. What’s more, the indie releases of these tracks can make it hard to justify an expensive vinyl mastering session. In my most unfortunate purchases, I’ve had MP3s outperform certain 45s.

But sometimes, you can get just the right format, just the right mix and master, and it just makes your hifi set sing. You, as a Vaporwave/Future Funk/Chillwave/etc. enthusiast, can certainly approach the sonic repro quality of lore — that Platonic form of an “audiophile’s album”. How can I prove this? Look no further than Soul’s Song by Yuutsu. Point blank, full stop. This is the one of the rare vapor records for a true audiophile. In this next section, I’ll be giving my thoughts on the album’s tracklist. In Part 2, you can join me for a trip into Hi-Fi World for a discussion of Vapor-Vinyl’s legitimacy.

PART 1: THE MUSIC

小さい鳥 opens the album with a moody, synthetic mandolin-like twang and elegiac Vocaloid vacillations extended in a sort of melancholic embrace that brings you — willing or otherwise, into the arms of this project. The arrangement of the loops are of particular note here, with the layering of additional sonic flutters that culminate in an anti-climactic crescendo that leaves you as sad and disappointed as the album no doubt wants you to feel.

それは愛を返さありません ends up being the most “atmospheric” of all the tracks, a listening experience I’d describe as a fitting background track for a KEY visual novel — eerie, haunting monosyllabic Vocaloid chants of comprising the long, long hooks. While running at 5:24, it definitely feels longer — perhaps created by a symphonic discord between vocals and music at intermittent portions of the piece. I’d characterize this piece as the most experimental of the album, deftly playing with my expectations more than any of the others.

闇 is incredible — and without a doubt the highlight of the tape. Because it departs from the simple string looping and gives us something more — something resembling a tragic and contemplative harmony, however discordant, and one that builds into lyrically what I consider to be a genuine contemplation of spirituality and the other world — a natural place, topically, for an album titled “Soul’s Song”. A sort of hollow computerized synth also left me considering — was this song about the soul of the Vocaloid program itself?

The digitized horns, eerie synths, and what I could best classify as the crackling of amplifiers introduce the thirty-eight second interlude of 変更 and serve as the riser to the climactic shift of the EP beginning in おやすみ. This four-minute piece deftly blends electric and analog strings and brings the vocaloid program to its emotional and sonic heights, really making the high-end pop in a for a surprisingly refreshing experience.

We conclude the album with a hybrid piece ネコチャン which captures the electric energy of おやすみ, the distorted samples of 変更 and adds a fleeting feeling of warmth with that familiar sound of tennis shoes on a waxed gym floor, evoking nostalgia that never was of doldrum days in a Japanese high school. The album fades out, with our familiar vocaloid’s calling out of Neko-chan, melting away like memories.

PART 2: THE VINYL LISTENING EXPERIENCE

When re-starting this review blog in earnest over the past month or so, I made a point to get my best gear serviced. I couldn’t claim to be fulfilling my broadened duties without having a fully-serviced, properly functioning kit. One of the more essential and dreaded refurbishments was getting my KEFs over to the local stereo shop wizard for a re-foam. I’d be without my workhorses for a week: an audiophile Alexander without his binaural Bucephalus. In the meanwhile, my backup speakers — a pair of Cambridge Audio SX-50 bookshelf speakers that I use as computer monitors, stepped up to the plate as pinch hitter.

I provide this anecdote for a reason: the very afternoon I dropped my KEF’s off at the shop is also the afternoon I received my copy of Soul’s Song by Yūutsu.

Admittedly, I can’t say I was particularly hyped for this release, or very eager tor receive it in the post. The previous evening I had been sleeplessly experimenting on a DJ set of city pop for the journal’s launch party at my alma mater. I was decidedly on an upbeat, caffeine-fueled kick of positive thoughts and big dick energy. Success had triggered the dopamine receptors, and the idea of sitting down for a serious listening session of an album that many BandCamp users had dubbed as “peak sadwave” seemed like an unnecessary vibe check.

But— being a self-appointed music blogger— a craft which I imagine has real pretensions about it somewhere, I buckled —a serious listening session was attempted.

And I was utterly blown away.

***

A final word on gear. The Cambridge SX-50s — and Cambridge Audio in general— do have a bit of a cult-following among guitar enthusiasts in various audiophile spheres. I also am familiar with a listening bar in Nagoya (where I studied abroad for a semester) that uses top-shelf Cambridge Hi-Fi gear solely for Vocaloid listening sessions!

Suffice to say, I was not actively thinking about either of those two facts when I first let the needle drop, but when the twangy synthetic guitar loop and the eerie vocalic chants of それは愛を返さありません began, a sudden wave of melancholy set in and brought my mind back to a lonely winter spent in that basement bar after breaking up with my girlfriend. And to the Cambridges. At that time, I became intimately familiar with how an upbeat, poppy — sometimes even jazzy track— accompanied with Vocaloid vocals could really make those speakers sing. And it was happening right now, as I was cuddled by the warmth pouring from those drivers in spite of the cold sadness of the arrangement. That dichotomy was on full display as “Ya-aa-mi” invocations of 闇 reached its penultimate hook.

In may respects, these Cambridges were and still are petty. I had previous experience with them butchering a poor quality vinyl of the Luxury Elite/Saint Pepsi Late Night Delight EP two years ago. My KEF’s usually take it upon themselves to run cover for a bad release. Cambridge-chan couldn’t be bothered. On a bad day, with a bad play, they’ll seem like the most clinical JBL studio monitor — but here they were, absolutely singing. This album was making them slap — metaphorically. And that’s when I realized what a magical press this was.

Five days later, the KEFs were securely hooked up to my amp again. The first vinyl to be put through the paces was, of course, Soul’s Song. Again I was impressed. The exquisite layering of this album can’t be expressed enough — and while the SX-50s brought out the synthetic string and vocals to the fore, my 104s filled in the rest of the sonic picture. I felt as if I was being re-acquainted with a piece of sculpture upon viewing it from a different angle, or witnessing a church’s mosaic in person after seeing a small reproduction in a well-printed textbook. This is a pressing far and above the previous standards I’ve set for vaporwave.

***

As any Vapor Vinyl review would be incomplete without a brief take on the overallＡｅｓｔｈｅｔｉｃ of the release, so I’ll just start by saying that I really enjoy the three-tone front end. The lavender, beige and white undeniably make this a very “Aloe” release, who tend to make things easy on my very nearsighted eyes by never making the cover too busy. This is perhaps with the notable exception of VR 97’s recent cassette release — not a trend, I hope!

I do have to admit I’m getting a bit tired of pink vinyls, though — and Soul’s Song unfortunately now joins a very crowded pack. I suppose if you were being pedantic, you could compare the “pinkness” of the album vis a vis the 2nd pressing of Macros 82-99’s Sailorwave (fuller, more saturated), or even the “bubblegum” first pressing of Vektroid’s Floral Shoppe (just naming two iconic releases) — but I think this release would have been fine (and moved units) as, say, a picture disc — making use of the powerful, emotive cover art to its fullest extent. In short, it takes something unique and then commodifies it to the point of exhaustion. While I suppose this criticism could be leveled at all of the genres I cover— I think generally speaking Vaporwave and Future Funk (to a lesser extent) treads this line of “capitalist critique” and “modified consumption” rather adeptly.

The main thrust in the previous paragraph, I should qualify, is not a specific criticism of Aloe City Records, however — I think they’ve done a fine job generally. If I could make a list of three releases that justify a special edition vinyl — this is certainly one.

For audiophile vaporwave/chill-wave fans, I’d encourage you to snap it up while you can. You can even buy it ethically — it’s still in stock on Aloe City’s band-camp page. It’s in my mind — without doubt — one of the best presses of the year.

#vaporwave #bestof2019

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wonderfulworldofmichaelford · 6 years ago

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Michael After Midnight: Dragon Age II

Dragon Age is a series very near and dear to my heart; ever since playing Origins back when I was in college, I have been inspired by the stories, characters, and lore. Hell, Origins alone is a huge inspiration to my writing, and why wouldn’t it be? It has great locations, deep lore, a core main party without a single weak link with each and every party member you have being unique and entertaining in their own right, and an epic story with all sorts of twists and turns. And it only has two really shitty segments in the whole game! It’s truly a great first entry in a series.

But despite my love for it, I put off playing the sequel for most of the decade, only playing it for the first time this year. And why is that? Because… the critics said it was bad… yes, unfortunately in my younger years I took what critics said without any grains of salt. Dragon Age II was not very popular back around the time it came out, mostly because of its radical departure from the style of the first game, with more hack-and-slash-esque combat, a much more simple and self-contained story, and a cast of characters far more divisive than the first time around. It’s only over time that people have started to give it the respect it deserves, but much like fellow fantasy series The Legend of Zelda it comes at the cost of the current game being bashed.

So how is this red headed stepchild of a sequel, anyway? Did the critics have a point, or is this really an underrated gem? Well, I’m happy to report that this is indeed a fun and fantastic game, and I heavily regret being kept apart from the lovely Merril for so long due to poor critical reception, but there are a lot of problems too. For everything it does really well, it kind of shits the bed in other areas, and a lot of that can be contributed to a rushed development cycle that got this game churned out just over a year after the first one, leading to things like all items lacking the detailed descriptions they would get in the first game, which doesn’t sound like much, but then you get an item called something like “Uncle Horky’s Spanking Rod” as a magic staff and there’s no explanation as to why it’s called that and you have to imagine up some ludicrous backstory for it.

The lack of flavor text is a minor gripe, though, compared to the obnoxiously repetitive environments of dungeons. Reusing and flipping dungeons around and reusing assets would be one thing, but here they literally just take a map, flip it a bit with no changes to the details of the level, and just block off doors that lead to areas they don’t want you going. The worst part is on your mini map you can see the blocked pathways you likely saw ten minutes ago in another dungeon, which just makes a lot of the missions feel bland and samey. It also doesn’t help that enemy types are rather paltry, so you’ll be fighting a lot of the same mooks in the same maps over and over as you grind for items, gold, and EXP.

And then there are some of the characters. The worst of the bunch are sadly two characters who are returning from the first game and its expansion Awakening – Anders and Isabela. Isabela is arguably worse, because she honestly seems rather fun and nice at first, if overly and aggressively flirty, but as the story goes on, it’s revealed that she is actually the cause behind some of the biggest issues in the first few acts, which she neglects to tell you until it is far too late and unless you decided to maximize your friendship with her, she will run off and never return to your party. I can’t deny that this completely soured me to her, and at the end of the quanari invasion of Kirkwall I was only upset I couldn’t find her in act three and kick her ass for what she did.

Then there is Anders. Poor, poor Anders. In Awakening, he was one of the most funny and charming characters, a nice little substitute for Alistair that I actually ended up liking for than the Weenie King of Ferelden. Here though? Anders can not go one fucking conversation without bringing up how oppressed mages are and how much the templars suck and blah blah blah. The worst part is I do agree with him, but he’s just so whiny and obnoxious about it I left him behind all the time, dooming my party to having no healer even as I fought high dragons, blood mages, and Corypheus. It was worth it to not hear Anders bitching about templars and insulting Merril and Fenris. Oh, and Anders nukes the chantry and sets off a civil war. Isabela may be a nasty bitch, but Anders definitely comes out looking like a huge cunt by the game’s end.

The entire endgame is kind of an utter mess too, seeing as no matter whose side you join you end up fighting the same two bosses, with one of them just not making any sense whatsoever. And then the game just sort of ends on a very unsatisfying cliffhanger. And as much as I just complained, all of this stings because really, the rest of the game is quite good, and the story is fun if scaled back from the epic tale of Origins.

Let’s get the obvious best part out of the way: Varric. Varric is literally the best part of the entire Dragon Age franchise. He’s a snarky, wisecracking surface dwarf with no beard who writes best-selling novels, constantly has his shirt open to show off his magnificent chest hair, and has a crossbow named Bianca that he is uncomfortably attached to. He is one of the greatest characters ever created, and there was not one single moment I left him out of my party, because he is a blast to have around, and what’s more, if there’s ever a situation where the dialogue wheel pops up and you can let him talk… you’ve won. This guy can talk his way out of any situation. There’s nothing bad you can say about Varric, and he is in fact the only companion in the game I can wholeheartedly stand behind as a paragon of great writing.

I love the other characters, don’t get me wrong, but they have their issues. Aveline and Fenris in particular, with Aveline being a bit too by-the-books at times to the point where she exacerbates the quanari conflict by demanding that elves who killed a guard who raped one of their own be turned over to her after they converted to the Qun. This is all despite her knowing full well that the poor elf girl would have otherwise gotten no justice seeing as how city elves in this setting are second class citizens at best. Still, she has a rather adorkable romance questline where you hook her up with one of the guards, and she’s not a bad person, just a touch misguided at times.

That last sentence can also apply to Fenris, but on a grander scale. He’s a cool, edgy, brooding elf who absolutely fucking hates magic with every fiber of his being. He is the Anti-Anders, though he’s far less annoying about it, and it’s hard to really blame him for being bitter seeing as he was a sex slave for an evil wizard for most of his life and then just had misfortune after misfortune piled on him. I really hated how mean he was to Merril, but otherwise I warmed to him and befriended him.

And that brings us to a very special girl, Merril. Merril is an adorable, klutzy, scatterbrained blood mage elf who is hated by her people due to the lengths she is going to repair an ancient artifact to bring a piece of her people’s heritage back. While she can be a bit arrogant and stubborn about the whole thing, it’s mostly due to how no one around her seems to believe in and support her; naturally, I believed in and supported her, and while things still managed to go south, she seemed at least to learn a little bit. Overall I found her to be an absolute sweetheart, and she never left my party, much like Varric; frankly, I was going in expecting not to like her and was going to romance Fenris instead, but as it turns out Merril won my heart immediately and my Hawke went lesbian this playthrough.

On that note, as much as I like how Merril, Fenris, Isabela, and Anders can be wooed by either gender in principle, I do kind of feel making everyone bisexual with no rhyme or reason kind of cheapens things. It’s weird for me, a bisexual myself, to be saying that, but it just feels off to be able to get together with everyone, with everyone being Schrodinger’s Bisexual until a romance is initiated. It’s nowhere near as bad as Skyrim, but I just feel it kinda cheapens the romance options. I prefer Origins and Inquisition in that regard, where you don’t have all the options but you do have some unique choices. But, hey, at the end of the day I’m hardly complaining that my Lady Hawke got to polish Merril’s Eluvian, if you know what I mean.

Aside from the characters, I think the game’s real strength lies in its story, which is fitting since the entire game is framed as a story being told by no less a storyteller than our pal Varric. It has a three act structure, with each act detailing a different year in Hawke’s rise to become the Champion of the city of Kirkwall, which is a crime-ridden wretched hive of scum and villainy. The first act mainly has Hawke making a name for themselves, living in the slums with their uncle, doing dirty work to try and get back a little prestige, and recruiting all of their allies, with the act culminating with a trip to the Deep Roads, every DA fan’s favorite location. It’s a nice setup for a lot of twists and turns later in the story, and choices you make in certain dialogue options or quests actually can change what sort of quests you get later. Then again, this is Bioware, so this sort of “action have consequences” gameplay is expected.

Act two deals with just how Hawke becomes the Champion. Rich from the expedition into the Deep Roads, Hawke gets to do all sorts of fun things, such as track down a serial killer who ends up murdering their mom, being stabbed in the back by one of their friends, accidentally inciting a race war that nearly burns down the city, and having to duel the warrior leader of the qunari to the death in combat. Yeah, act two really piles it on to Hawke, but it does tie into the game’s themes of how no matter the level of success, great actions will also come with great consequences, even actions meant to better one’s lot in life, which also resonate in the personal quests of characters like Merril and Fenris, who despite ultimately achieving their goals in the third act feel hollow, lost, and even broken by the end, and that’s not even getting into what Anders does. However the conflict with the qunari is resolved, Hawke is declared the Champion, and things seem ok.

But then comes act three, and boy do things go wrong. Knight-Commander Meredith has gone cuckoo for Coco Puffs and conflict between templars and mages seems inevitable; this act is basically wrapping up hanging plot threads and companion quests until Anders finally nukes the chantry and all hell breaks loose, leading to the final battle. The ending here isn’t particularly happy, with Hawke ultimately ending up a fugitive in the epilogue, and things can get even worse if you make poor choices in Inquisition, but that’s just the way the cookie crumbles.

Here’s the thing: everything I just said? It could be entirely different from my playthrough depending on the choices you make. Sure, some things are inevitable, like Anders committing terrorist acts, Hawke’s mother dying, and Meredith going absolutely bonkers and making you fight statues, but depending on how you play, maybe you’ll like/romance Isabela, maybe you’ll resolve things with the Arishok differently, maybe you’ll side with the templars… the story ends the same but there are so many ways to make your story different. Throw in some great lore, some fun DLC that reveals some shocking truths about the lore, and the fun albeit simplified combat, and you’ve got a game here that has a lot of replay value if only to see where all the plot threads can lead.

I definitely think this is a good game, even a great one. It has its share of problems, but so did Origins, and frankly I’d sooner put up with the backstabbing pirate hooker and the pissy mage terrorist again then go through the fucking Fade and Deep Roads one more time. If you liked the first one, definitely give this a shot; you may end up liking or disliking some of the stuff I dislike and like. That’s the fun of these Bioware games, different aspects are going to appeal to different people. The question is, do I find it better than Origins?

In some respects, yes; I much prefer the simpler combat here, and I like the more down-to-earth story in this one, but at the same time Origins just had stronger characters overall and I’m a sucker for “save the world” fantasy tales. While Origins infamously had some real mind-numbing slogs in the form of the Fade sequence and the Deep Roads, while those environments were tedious at least they weren’t boring. But on the other hand… Origins didn’t have Varric.

It’s really a tossup, frankly, and I love both games a lot. I think each of them has their place and each of them brings something interesting to the table for the series. It’s one you really need to play for yourself to get a good grasp on; don’t be like me and put it off for nearly ten years, give it a go right after your done with the first game and see how you feel. Your experience is going to be a lot different than mine, that’s for sure.

#Michael After Midnight #Review #video game review #Dragon Age #Dragon Age II #Bioware

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roseyturtles · 6 years ago

Text

Good Morning Lads

I just thought of a possible plot to Deltarune’s full story and broke my own heart.

The demo? Monday. You go to the dark world every day until Friday. Every day you take a new companion from the classroom with you; Tuesday it will probably be Noelle, Wednesday it might be Jockington or Berdly or that cat on her phone whose name I can’t remember off the top of my head, and so on and so forth. Every time you bring in a new party member the Dark World will have changed drastically and will present you with a series of challenges that ultimately have symbolic relevance to your lightener party member’s life. For example, if Noelle joins your team, it’s likely the Queen will arrive to fight at the end of it all, which addresses the fact that Noelle has a lot of trouble with her mother. Unlike the King, however, the Queen will likely be more reasonable, and it will probably be something Noelle says that finally dissuades her of her crusade. Then, yadda yadda yadda, everyone cheers and breaks open champagne bottles, the day is saved once again, you seal up the fountain, you go home.

Of course, all the while, you’re gathering little bits and pieces about Dark World lore. Why are the kings so alright with being locked away? Why does the dark world change so much? What exactly were the darkeners supposed to do for the lighteners? Is there a reason the dark world presents itself only to those desperately in need of a turn around in their life? You can explore as far as being right next to the answers, but not quite having them. In all your investigation you find out that there’s someone pulling the strings behind it all. Someone who exists between worlds...

But Kris doesn’t care. And a word about Kris---they and Ralsei are the only constants in The Dark World. Of course, we all know exactly why that is: Kris is having problems without Asriel around, lashing out in strange and frightening ways. Ralsei is a temporary substitute for Asriel. He doesn’t come close to the real thing: No, never; but he’s the best Kris can have for a companion. Each time Kris goes to the dark world Ralsei helps them become more and more independent in their life without Asriel.

In all this complicated mess there’s only one thing that remains simple: Your daily playdates with a little skeleton called Papyrus. He’s younger than Kris in this game, young enough to be in Toriel’s class (Though he’s probably just a year away from graduating into Alphys’s class.) Every day you go over to Sans and Papyrus’s house and you play superheroes or racecars or spaceman with him, and all the while you talk about your favorite foods, your favorite games, your family...your memories. And you get just the barest impression that maybe, just maybe, these skeletons aren’t as happy as they’re letting on.

Finally Friday rolls around, the big pompous grand finale. You guide the final classmate through the dark world, they work out whatever personal issues they’re going through, the day is saved, the fountain is sealed, the world is safe forever and ever. Even Ralsei says something to the effect of “We’re okay now. The time of heroes is coming to an end. I’m sorry we couldn’t spend more time together, but...I think you’re ready to go on without me, Kris.” And it’s all one big emotionally satisfying moment, because you know the inhabitants of the dark world are safe. If you were playing as Frisk or Chara, they would be fine with this ending. They saved the world, they can go home happy...but then, you’re not, are you? You’re playing as Kris. The one who knows exactly what it feels like to be pulled by puppet strings. Yes, the inhabitants of the dark world are safe. But they are not yet free.

So comes Saturday. Picture this for a moment with me: Kris wakes up far, far too early. 5am, perhaps. It’s storming outside. The orange leaves on the trees are nearly fallen off to give way to black bark. The town is silent. Empty. ...abandoned. Kris makes their way to the school without any input from the player, and with three strong hits, they break the locked doors wide open. You regain control of Kris for a moment, and you can go to each of the classrooms one last time for some extra dialogue, but ultimately you know what must be done. With no hesitation, Kris goes into the Janitor’s closet, and, as if practiced, jumps down.

The dark world, too, is far too empty and quiet. The areas you went through on each day now seem to have...melted together? A horrible amalgamation, a corruption of what was once pure and good, as if the entire place is screaming “You should not be here.” Finally you reach the castle, the final sanctity of sanity, and at the top floor you face your foe...

...

Papyrus?

No. No, this can’t be right.

Even Kris is taken back by the little boy’s presence. When he turns around, he looks tense, and not a little bit scared. Instantly you’re in a fight with him. The most difficult fight you’ve had so far. He’s silent all throughout. Kris ACTs over and over again, trying to get him to explain why he’s here, what he’s doing, is he the puppet master?! ...after several rounds he finally says something.

“...THIS IS ALL JUST A GAME. THAT’S ALL IT’S EVER BEEN. YOU KNOW THIS.”

“MY DAD...HE KNOWS THIS BETTER THAN ANYONE. HE’S THE ONE WHO MAKES ALL THESE GAMES AFTER ALL.”

“DON’T YOU SEE? IF I DON’T KEEP PLAYING ALONG, HE’LL RESET EVERYTHING.”

“HE’LL CRUMBLE UP THIS WORLD LIKE PAPER AND THROW IT IN THE TRASH, AND THEN HE’LL JUST DRAW A NEW ONE. LIKE THIS ONE DIDN’T EVEN EXIST.”

“...AND WE’LL BE ALL ALONE AGAIN. ALL ALONE WITHOUT YOU, KRIS.”

“AND THAT’S NOT ALL---KRIS, HE’LL GO AFTER YOUR FAMILY TOO!”

“HE’LL GO AFTER YOUR DAD AND YOUR MOM, A-AND...AND ASRIEL, TOO. HE’LL DO SOMETHING TERRIBLE TO ASRIEL IN THE NEW WORLD.”

“SO JUST GO!!!”

“LEAVE!!!”

“...”

“PLEASE, KRIS...YOU’RE THE FIRST PERSON WHO’S EVER LISTENED TO ME.”

“YOU’RE THE FIRST PERSON WHO’S EVER PLAYED WITH ME.”

“I DON’T WANT TO LOSE YOU...”

“PLEASE...I DON’T WANT TO BE ALONE AGAIN...”

His attacks get weaker and weaker as he starts to break down, until finally he collapses. Kris, without any input from the player, goes up to Papyrus and hugs him. They stay like that for a little while, then the little skeleton pulls away and wipes his face. Kris and Papyrus both agree to stand up to the people controlling them, together. So this time, instead of sealing the dark fountain, you actually step inside of it.

From there you’re transported to a completely black room. You have to wander around for a little while before you find a computer---just an ordinary computer, at first, but when you interact with it---

The world turns off.

The world turns back on.

Dr. W.D. Gaster stands in front of you instead.

Of course from here you have a battle, and I’m sure Gaster does a lot of infodumping on why exactly he resets world after world and all that, and Papyrus stands up to him and says why this isn’t right, but even if I knew the Good Doctor’s motives, I wouldn’t want to spoil them, nor do I really have the energy to even really do so right now. All I know is, during the fight, your control over Kris gets weaker and weaker as they start to take their body back. Your choices from there are to try and keep controlling Kris, or to take a step back and let them have their freedom. Either way, Kris eventually wins out. Naturally, depending on how hard you fought, what Kris says to you afterwards changes, but after all is said and done, both you and Gaster are pulled away from the strings. Kris then releases you, the SOUL, to go off into the wild blue yonder...

The final cutscene shows how each of your companions are changing their world in little ways. Things aren’t perfect, not by a long shot, but nothing is ever completely perfect. Susie is shown in some nicer clothes, eating a ham sandwich with Noelle by her side. Noelle and Rudolph are shown talking to Noelle’s mother. (I’m not sure who the other companions will be but whatever they are and their issues are we’ll yadda yadda them.) Papyrus is shown playing superheroes with other kids his age while Sans watches on the stairs. Kris gets the most screentime, of course. They’re sharing a pie with Toriel when there’s a knock on the door---it’s Asgore. Toriel reluctantly lets him in. Asgore apologizes for harassing her before and thanks her for letting him visit. She sighs and says something to the effect of “Yes, well. We both love Kris. One visit on their behalf is not so bad I suppose. But I do expect you to stop sending flowers.” They share pie a little longer, and there’s another knock on the door. “I wonder who that could be...? Kris, do you mind answering it?”

A few beats as Kris goes to answer the door. When it opens...Asriel stands there.

“Hey, mom. Hey, dad. Hey, Kris. Am I too late for pie?”

Roll credits.

#deltarune #whew #this took a lot longer than I anticipated #but i hope you like my ideas anyways

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grayisholi · 6 years ago

Note

@ the DND ask game: ALL OF THOSE QUESTIONS, I CAN'T CHOOSE!! XD (or if not that, the ones you rlly wanna do!!

BOY OH BOY OH BOYIve been answering these throughout the day and I’m too lazy to reread the full document so sorry if I’ve left gaps or whatever but here it is! All 35 questions about dnd! Matt you unstoppable Madman.

1. A favorite character you have played.

You can’t just make me pick between my children!!! I think I might have to say Atticus Sallow, my faeborn bloodhunter, partially because he’s like 100% homebrew content which I LIVE for, but also because he’s probably the most kinda self-insert character I’ve ever played? Almost became the kinda angsty, brooding asshole character before he was like “get your shit together” and learned that loving people isn’t so bad.

2. Your favorite character that someone else has played.

I almost, ALMOST had the pleasure of DMing for @no-more-good-omens and their character was gonna be SO RAD and I’m a little heartbroken he never came to be. A half-drow paladin of Vecna, pretending to be your typical good and wholesome paladin? Dude, I love that kinda two faced backstabbing in a player. It’s such a shame it never came to anything (although if yall still wanna play hmu ;))

3. Your favorite side quest.

Ooh, there’s been so many good ones. Probably when i was playing as Adrian Smirks and went off on a tangent to rescue his brother ? That was the first time I ever got to see Adrian’s more raw and emotional side beneath the suave mask he wears and it was fun to explore his character in that way ^.^

4. Your current campaign.

That I’m DMing? It started inspired by Guy Fawkes and was gonna be “your party blows up parliament” but I got bored of following historical accuracy so it ended up being “blow up the palace in a magical city that just happens to be called London”. I accidentally wrote myself into a hole with this campaign tho, so once they’ve finished this arc I’m handing over the DM hat to my sister @philosophical-wanton because she seems to love it and I kinda miss being a player lmao. I can’t wait for it.

5. Favorite NPC.That I’ve written? Probably Hai Shen, the youngest son of a group of circus performers who were killed and the party got blamed for their murder. He had such a great attitude and his dynamics with the party kicked ass. And the twist that he was actually dead the whole time and it was his soul that had stayed behind to help solve his family’s murder? ICONIC.

6. Favorite death (monster, player character, NPC, etc).

NPC death would probably be Hai Shen, actually. After the party had brought the real killers (A cult to the demon Prince Orcus) to justice, Hai’s time on earth had come to an end. He had really beautiful moment with the party before being reunited with his family. Alternatively, the time I broke my entire party’s hearts? “Artagan’s staff comes cracking into Ellios’ chest, forcing him onto the ground. Artagan raises his sceptre in hand, pointing it menacingly at the young prince. And for the first time, you see him. Like, REALLY see him. He’s not the strong and powerful leader you’ve all come to know him as, he’s not Prince Ellios of the Four Realms. He’s just a boy. A boy who is much too young to be involved in such a grand scheme. And the fear in his eyes. You see the fear he’s managed to keep buried for so long, finally coming to the surface. And then? You don’t see anything, aside from his cold body hitting the ground.” I got punched three times for that moment, but GOD was it worth it.

7. Your favorite downtime activity.

Like in game? A healthy lil bit of vandalising the local law enforcement buildings is always a good time.

8. Your favorite fight/encounter.

Aw man, how can I pick ? I gotta say, that one time we, a level 6 party, managed to take down two earth elementals was pretty rad. The DM kind of expected it to be one of those encounters that we saw and immediately tried to run from, but what she didn’t take into account was that ALL of us had chaotic alignments so we just went crazy. The DM was rolling really badly (thank God) and we were getting really creative (“I use the produce flame centripetal to light my bottle of ale on fire and create a molotov cocktail” “you do WHAT”) and after like an HOUR we won and it was amazing. The rush I got from that victory was better than any drug my dood.

9. Your favorite thing about D&D.

I know I say it a lot, but I legit can’t choose. There’s so many great things about ttrpgs that a lot of people don’t really think of. The creative fulfilment I get from a session is incomparable, the friendships you can build that you couldn’t form in any other way. And like, not to get too real for a sec here, but I grew up with undiagnosed autism and didn’t understand how a lot of social situations worked, and DnD was such a good mechanic for me to try communicating with people without many real world consequences, and I appreciate that experience so much. It’s just such a great thing my dood.

10. Your favorite enemy and the enemy you hate the most.

Can they be the same thing lmao? I mean, I’m obviously partial to Count Cassius, the vampire lord that Adrian slept with lmao. I also always appreciate a good beholder, until I get hit with three disintegration rays IN A ROW.

11. How often do you play and how often would you ideally like to play?

We’ve got kind of a monthly schedule with my main campaign, and I manage to get a couple online games in-between them, but honestly I’d kill to be the kind of group that got together every weekend.

12. Your in game inside jokes/memes/catchphrases and where they came from.

Oh MAN. “I say we do this.” “Yeah, but that’s coming from the guy who decided to tie 3 50ft ropes together to escape the palace.” “iT wOrKeD dIdN’t iT ???” i.e that time I forgot I gave the gnome rogue flying boots so when I planned for them to get arrested at the palace, they managed to escape by tying their ropes together, sending the gnome with it to the top and climbing the wall. I had to improvise the rest of the session. Also “FLINTON BELINDA SKINTON” bc as a role-play exercise I got my party to come up with rumours about their characters and the gnome rogue called Flint AKA Flinton B Skinton decided that one of their rumours was that the B stood for Belinda, and it was GLORIOUS.

13. Introduce your current party.

My current group consists of Flinton B Skinton, gnome rogue. He’s a quick-fingered, silver-tongued gay disaster who can sell anything to anyone. He’s a charming flirt, and a veritable genius in his own right. Kava Daardendrian, dragonborn ranger who loves nothing in life more than her animal companion - her pig Snortin Norton. She’s fun and sassy and shameless, she’s great. There’s Sparks, the fire Genasi Monk, and full embodiment of a disaster lesbian. She drinks, fights, and gets laid, and doesn’t deal with her problems in healthy ways. An icon. And finally Milo, the halfling Bard who falls in love at the drop of a hat and just wants everyone to get along. I call them “The Shenanigang” and I love them.

14. Introduce any other parties you have played in or DM-ed.

A party I joined late? We had Sylvia Moondrop, the half elf sorcerer who was just trying to get along with everyone despite what the world seemed to want. Orland the half orc bard who was just trying to shake off the Barbarian stereotype his family left him with. Rose Morleen, air Genasi fighter who was literally born to kick ass and take names. I joined as Mason Terrai, the Earth Genasi Alchemist with a perchance for explosives. The very definition of chaotic neutral.

15. Do you have snacks during game times?

Of COURSE. What manic wouldn’t ?

16. Do you play online or in person? Which do you prefer?

I used to play online a LOT back before I had friends who were into dnd, but I VASTLY prefer playing in person. The chemistry that’s built not only amongst the players, but also the actual characters themselves is unparalleled. It’s just such a great experience.

17. What are some house rules that your group has?

Anyone can attempt anything, the only restriction is the dice. Don’t question the DM unless it’s out of session, then bully the dm on the groupchat until he’s so pissed off he gives you inspiration just to get you to shut up. And also canon lore and canon rules are bullshit when it’s convenient. That’s about it

18. Does your party keep any pets?

Our ranger, God bless her, has her pack pig Snortin Norton, sold to her by one Flinton B Skinton. And Flint really wants a monkey, he’s been trying to find one for ages.

19. Do you or your party have any dice superstitions?

Not really ? I’m the kind guy that if my dice rolls a 1 I will bench it for a bit, but tbh all my dice are cursed af and I’ve kinda just learned to roll with it by making my characters canonically terrible at everything lmao.

20. How did you get into D&D? How long have you been playing?

Aw man I can’t remember when or how, it’s been so long. I had a couple friends who were kinda into it, but all the games they tried to run were complete disasters. I only really started playing I’m the past year or so? Maybe a little more ? Adrian was my first character, and he was a very RP heavy character in a party of tanks and they all hated him but MAN was it fun.

21. Have you ever regretted something your character has done?

Oh all the time. One time my character was careless and didn’t check for traps on a legendary artefact and it lead to the death of a party member. One time my character got angry at his party and walked out. My characters don’t make good decisions, but that’s part of the fun.

22. What color was your first dragon?

White! I thought it was silver at first and went to go say hi, and it clawed me within half my HP straight away lmao.

23. Do you use premade modules or original campaigns?

Oh dude, original all the way. I live for that shit.

24. How much planning/preparation do you do for a game?

Depends on the session, but usually a good few hours, couple of days if I’m DMing.

25. What have your players done that you never could have planned for?

“You wake up in a mysterious forest. The strained autumn sun shines through the trees. The only thing you can see it each other, the trees, and an old sign post leading to a path that says "Myrrill” on it. What do you do?“ "We walk in the opposite direction of the sign deeper into the forest.” “…of course you do.”

26. What was your favorite scene to write and show your characters.

I wrote a full carnival show one time for them to watch, and then it got derailed when a horrific monster attacked. But writing all the characters and their acts, and watching my players get entranced as I described it ? Magical, my dood.

27. Do you allow homebrew content?

I live and breathe homebrew content. I don’t know what my games would be without it. I LOVE homebrew.

28. How often do you use NPCs in a party?

I make some pretty sick characters if I do say so myself, so I throw them in a LOT.

29. Do you prefer RP heavy sessions or combat sessions?

Oh dude, role play all the way. Fighting and killing stuff is great, but role-play is just so good. We can go from laughing with a bartender to crying over a backstory reveal and it’s just beautiful.

30. Are your players diplomatic or murder hobos?

Depends on the party, but i find the best players are a little bit of both XD

31. What is your favorite class? Favorite race?

Official ? I’m a fan of the hexblade warlock? Bards are always a good call, and to be real playing monks make me feel like an absolute badass. Race wise, there are just so many. If we’re only talking players handbook stuff, half elf is always rad. Outside of that? I’ve been researching the Shadar-Kai lately and I’m LIVING. They’re so rad.

32. What role do you like to play the most? (Tank/healer/etc?)

What would you call the disaster gay? I don’t really gear my characters towards usefulness in combat, so it’s just whatever the class happens to lend itself to.

33. How do you write your backstory, or do you even write a backstory?

I usually write my character, personality, backstory, alignment etc, before I even pick a class or even a race. I basically just make OCs and apply them to dnd rules, and it’s SO much fun. 10/10, would recommend.34. Do you tend pick weapons/spells for being useful or for flavor?

FLAVOUR. My party usually hates me, but what I lack in combat utility I more than make up for in creative out of combat skill checks XD.

35. How much roleplay do you like to do?

Boi, I even RP my combat, and the great thing is it rubs off on my party too. I’ll have a really low initiative and everyone else will be like “I attack and do 10 points of damage” but then on my round I’m like “I use my staff to leap across the battlefield towards the opponent and launch out with a spinning kick to their jaw” and everyone else is like “oh, okay, that’s what we’re doing.” and the battle becomes so much more dynamic and cinematic, it’s amazing !

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