#john what the actual fuck
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hypocrisy-incarnate · 9 months ago
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i can’t even go to my bookmarked malevolent fics for comfort bc theyre all jarthur themed and i’m feeling too betrayed rn
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kurikorso · 24 days ago
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in my moomins era once again. i've been amused lately at the idea of The Joxter carrying baby Snufkin around in his mouth
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ohposhers · 1 year ago
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i told my friend i'd draw Trollex in solidarity cause they had to draw him-- but hear me out guys so Fishipping AU where JD reads a book on fish and finds out there's a fish called John Dory and then he's like oh fuck am i a fish and then he makes Poppy set up a meeting with him and Trollex so he can discuss it with him shut up
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vaguely-concerned · 11 months ago
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sometimes I think of all the on-the-surface warm, well-meaning but deeply ineffectual advice and attention john gives harrow through harrow the ninth (make some soup and get some sleep! get a hobby! don't be so hard on yourself! self care harrow! as long as I need take no actual responsibility in this relationship whatsoever I would have loved to be your dad!) set up against the stark truth that with his other hand he has been staging her attempted horrific murder again and again and again like a living nightmare on the logic that it will 'put her down or fix her'. and then I find that I wish there is a hell. a special hell where twitch streamers turned necromantic death emperors go
#the locked tomb#harrowhark nonagesimus#john gaius#harrow the ninth#this is why I don't buy john as misunderstood and initially well-meaning AT ALL#this is a pattern you see with him again and again and again -- right down to his interpersonal relationships#(and indeed it's in the more grounded interpersonal relationships you can most clearly see him as he is I think#the fantasy death empire of a thousand years doesn't register quite as viscerally because it's like. heightened; not quite real#but the emotional violence and manipulation that surrounds him? oh boy that is EXTREMELY real and scarily well-observed)#there's a premeditation to so much of what he does (contracts with planets that only end 'in the event of the emperor's death' anyone?#yeah john we get it you're hilarious and I wish you weren't)#the greatest trick john ever pulled was making anyone think he's just a lil guy. what does he know he's only god#when you first read the book the complete callousness of the other adults is so horrible that john seems like an oasis of care#(though you start to get this uneasy feeling when that care never seems to translate to like... relief or soothing or resolution)#and it makes it feel almost obscene when you find out what's actually going on#it's the mercy & augustine enabler hour but at least they're completely honest in their cruelty there#while john is -- well he sure is being john huh#this is just me being angry with him btw philosophically I don't think this is how the story will or should end#(with john slam dunked right into hell that is)#it's just... harrow is so vulnerable. and what he does to her is so insidious and fucked up#john is very deeply human. unfortunately the capacity to quite simply suck so much is deeply human too
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eiraeths · 6 months ago
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fuckboy soap and ghost meeting on a hookup dating app and ghost invites him over being like “you wanna bake cookies?” soap heading over thinking its an innuendo of some sort but no. ghost just wanted to bake cookies with someone.
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hey-hey-j · 10 months ago
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Come on, Alex
Don't die or dry up
(★my Ko-fi)
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s0fter-sin · 5 months ago
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ghost fucking soap so hard and so good he passes out but he utterly panics about it
he thinks he must’ve ignored soap asking to stop; was it pain that made him pass out? how bad could it have been to make him pass out when he’s been shot and kept going? should he bring him to medical? he’ll never touch him again, he’ll never so much as look at him again; he’ll ask for a transfer- fuck that, a dishonourable discharge. there’s no coming back from this
he spirals, guilt chasing hatred chasing despair chasing fear, until soap finally wakes back up
soap's still floating, loose-limbed and buzzing; fucked so thoroughly out of his head that it takes him a while to notice ghost isn't in bed with him anymore. he frowns, lifting a heavy head off the pillow and freezes. ghost's on the other side of the room, curled up tight in the corner as far away from soap as he could get without leaving him alone
(he would've left, would've made sure soap never had to see his face again and be reminded of what he did to him, of the monster he’d let into his bed- but he couldn't just leave him unconscious; what if he didn't wake up, he had to make sure he was safe first even if he'll rightfully hate him forever when he does wake up)
soap's voice when he calls out to him makes him flinch, his head burying deeper in his knees. cold worry chases the bliss from his blood and soap pushes himself up but his shaking arms can't hold his weight
the sound of him collapsing back onto the bed makes ghost rear up, his panic growing and soap's heart breaks at his red rimmed eyes
it takes a long time for soap to coax him back to the bed, countless loops of, "sweetheart, please, come here, what happened? it's okay, everything’s going to be okay.”
(and how ghost’s self-hatred grows hearing soap comforting him; hearing the concern and love in his voice when he doesn’t deserve a drop of it)
it takes even longer for ghost to believe soap when he says that he passed out because he felt so good; that he never asked ghost to stop, never wanted him to stop. that he trusts him more than anything and knows he'd rather die than ever hurt him, especially like that
“you’re not a monster, love,” he promises, soft with conviction and it’s as much a surrender as a relief when he collapses into his lap and lets him hold him close
ghost believes johnny but he still can't bring himself to be intimate with him for a while; that fear still haunting him, but soap doesn't hold it against him, doesn't complain about ghost's perceived "step back" in their relationship
hell, ghost seems to hate it more than he does; he misses being with soap, misses the connection, the closeness they shared, the safety and quiet he found in his embrace, but he's always trusted soap more than he trusts himself
soap doesn't let him be consumed by his fear or worse, sabotage them and turn it into a punishment; doesn't let him even get through the suggestion of switching because he knows how much he hates it and he won’t let him twist something as good and pure as their physical love into something self-harming
instead, he brings them back to the basics, working through the steps to get ghost comfortable with intimacy again, to get him to trust himself again; spends happy months just grinding and exchanging handjobs like when their relationship first started
and it's a happy day for them both when soap finally falls apart on his cock once again, anxiety the farthest thing from ghost's mind when his arms are wrapped so tightly around him, kissing a smile against his lips
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arthur-lesters-right-arm · 13 days ago
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Here, i'll help out with the *starting shit*
Do you think if Arthur touches his eyes it gets John off?
Alright Starting Shit is cancelled everyone go home.
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flipit-turnways · 5 months ago
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strider-man... haha. im hilarious (johndave week day 5 - first kiss) alt under cut
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automatonwithautonomy · 7 months ago
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it's like - "He was nice to me," she found herself saying. - [Gideon Nav], Gideon the Ninth, chapter 19, page 208.
magnus was nice to her. just - nice. polite, kind. he treated her like someone worthy of basic fucking decency. yeah, he was funny and charming and he loved jeannemary and isaac and he really didn't deserve to die. but mostly? he just cared enough to be nice to a lonely teenage girl who no one had ever wasted that on. he was the first person gideon ever really grieved.
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jonsnowunemploymentera · 3 months ago
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And remember kids, the next time someone tells you, "George R. R. Martin wouldn't make Jon Snow the typical fantasy hero because that's cliche".....
Oh yes he would!
One viewer wants to know what character would you play (on the show)? GRRM: If I could magically clap my hands and become a different person, it would be cool to play Jon Snow who's much more of the classic hero. Everybody wants to be the classic hero! ABC Interview, 2014
GRRM: And the character I’d want to be? Well who wouldn’t want to be Jon Snow — the brooding, Byronic, romantic hero whom all the girls love. Meduza Interview, 2017
In fact he already has ☺️
#asoiaf#jon snow#yes grrm has criticized neo-tolkein fantasy - a lot!#but like....dpmo#I need so many people in this godforsaken fandom to familiarize themselves with grrm's engagement with the genre#he isn't trying to say “chosen one boy protagonist bad” where tf did people get that???#he's directly trying to challenge the more unsatisfactory elements of lesser copies of tolkien's legendarium#the ones that lift lotr wholesale without actually understanding what makes tolkien's writing snap#at the same time he has admitted himself that he has borrowed from lotr albeit with his own twists#but people in this fandom need to know that ye old man LOVES sword-and-sorcery fantasy#he LOVES a good epic#he LOVES pulp fantasy and sci fi#and those inspirations are directly reflected in asoiaf#the way he's named arthuriana/lotr/MST and many pulp stories with brooding dark heroes as key inspirations#almost all of which have mcs who fall into the typical fantasy hero role#and they inspire elements that are reflected back onto jon more than anyone else in asoiaf#like seoman snowlock = jon (+bran)#frodo - who btw is the mc in lotr not aragorn!! = jon (and bran)#FUCKING KING ARTHUR IS JON SO MUCH SO THAT RLJ IS LITERALLY A 1:1 COPY OF ARTHUR'S BIRTH STORY LIKE??!!!!#anyone who's even a little bit familiar with le morte d'arthur will be like oh yeah jon is literally king arthur like 😭😭#same with anyone who's ready the once and future king - which grrm has directly identified as his fav take on arthurian lit#ntm that jon is based on some of the most prolific characters in arthuriana - percival/galahad/lancelot etc#did you know that there's an iconic sci-fi series whose main character is called Eric JOHN STARK?#well grrm has directly quoted that series and the mc as a foundational book in his life#funny that huh? 🙂#do people even know what tf they're talking about when they say stuff like this???? ajdhhjshsbvshja#grrm engages very heavily with traditional fantasy tropes but he of course provides his own spin on them#never has he said that he's trying to avoid stories with hidden princes or chosen ones as boy protagonists#like someone find me a direct quote of him saying that - but I bet you can't smh
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ricky-mortis · 7 months ago
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S1 Pulp Musicals Gang my beloved
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ohposhers · 1 year ago
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i am so fucking delusional ok so my au where hickory is a country yodel troll so hes still a horse and he runs into JD while he's camping out near lonesome flats and they spend all night sitting by the fire drinking and laughing and exchanging stories and JD throws a fit a little bit cause Hickory has never heard of Brozone and its so over for me
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johnslittlespoon · 9 months ago
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i just finished the prologue of the mota book and i don't know how i haven't seen a single post talking about how after john and gale's stalag reunion, they were then separated for another four months.
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my heart is aching so bad. imagine being reunited (after almost three weeks, oct 8–26th) and having that tiny feeling of 'everything is going to be okay' and then being ripped apart again for four fucking months. 120 more days of not being able to be at each other's sides.
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eyes-of-nine · 2 years ago
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truly what a guy
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aardvaark · 7 months ago
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im so glad that we never get a clear picture of sophie’s background in leverage & i hope we never do. however i also really like making up various, often conflicting backstories for her in my head. perhaps they’re all backstories for an alias of hers, ones she laid to rest back in season two.
#leverageposting#leverage#sophie devereaux#particularly that one of or both her parents had to move around a lot for work & so she would change herself to fit in at every new school#or new town etc etc. and that whatever original identity she had was dropped due to some kind of really awful event and her bio family think#she’s dead. eg she got into some kind of extreme legal trouble for the first time & she faked her death & everyone she knew as a kid thinks#she’s dead too. like. astrid wasn’t the first person she left to miss/mourn her.#but also that she was a teen runaway at like age ~16 and pretended to be an adult (like. 18/19) cause theres not much you can do by yourself#as a minor like booking flights or renting an apartment. and so began her first proper alias. and she was a pickpocket until she could fund#her life fully through grifting & cons.#or alternatively her parents died when she was a teen & she was old enough to become an emancipated minor (everyone in lev is an orphan)#and she kind of just fell into crime from there bc she had no one#or perhaps she got married at 17 and realised how fucked it all was and stashed money until she could run away & leave it all behind. that’s#bc of a single vague sentence on john rogers’ blog saying she was married at 17 and in context it was quite possibly a joke or random#hypothetical example but i was like what if???? What If???????#i also like the hc that she’s trans which i’ve seen a few times#in some versions in my mind her parents were okay and in some versions they were awful and in some versions it was so complicated.#i think tara has heard one story and parker or hardison have heard another and nate has never heard any story. he’s never asked.#she is here now and that’s all that needs knowing. and sophie devereaux is her real name in any way it matters.#eliot has also never asked and she asked if he was curious once and he just asked if she was curious about What He Did and that was answer#enough for the both of them. just a mutual agreement not to ask and it actually solidified their bond.#i think she struggled for a long time about whether to tell her new family The Real Story but in much the same way we never hear her birth#name bc it’s not Her anymore… she never gives The Real Story. bc it no longer defines who she is. she’s so much more than whatever happened.#lvg
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