#joel helps a homie out | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

lauronk · 4 months ago

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https://www.tumblr.com/lauronk/755126061482835968/i-wish-you-would-write-a-fic-where?source=share Okay so I happen to be the person who has a lot of imagination for fic ideas even tho I don't have the writing skills.

Maybe an Star Wars AU where joel is a mandalorian and he has a mission to find and capture baby ellie for someone because she has some kind of value (like little grogu and his powers) but then he is just this hot man in a space bountyhunter suit that has a little girl hanging on his leg across space to everybody, and he can't get rid of her to his motherfucking clients because she's just so cute and likes to mess around on his spaceship and even has her own little chair and always gives a little peck on his helmet!!! And then when he finally lets her see his face, her little hand just grabs his big ass nose and he laughs because he knows it is too big, and then she finally gives him a little kiss on his nose instead of the helmet and their eyes met for the first time🥹and then when he wants to put the helmet back she makes a sad face and tries to put the helmet down, because now that she knows what her space daddy looks like she just wants to see his pretty eyes and kiss his big ass nose all the time.

okay so a couple of disclaimers before we get started:

i know SO LITTLE about star wars. i've watched mando and boba fett and ahsoka, but that's it. so if there's words or phrases or literally anything i got wrong, i'm very sorry, please be gentle with me. shoutout to my homie @princessofinterest for letting me bombard her with questions

ALSO. i sped-read this prompt, wrote the ficlet, had my friend help me fill in some stuff, and then came back and re-read it and realized...i did not quite do what you requested 😅 so i'm sorry if it's not what you were expecting but hopefully you still enjoy!

ALSO ALSO. i finished, was rereading, and realized i messed up my own timeline. so- yeah. it's been a brain-melty kind of week, so i'm very sorry

a space bound rocket ship (and your heart's the moon)

length: ~2.3k words tags: joel & ellie; star wars au; mandalorianverse au; joel is a mandalorian; din & grogu cameo; the author knows so little about star wars; father-daughter relationship; the cargo-to-babygirl pipeline remains; no beta we die like david

This was definitely not the plan.

Joel stares down at the little girl, eyes roaming over her worriedly through his visor, and she stares defiantly back up at him.

This was not the plan, and now he’s got a whole bunch of Morgan Elsbeth’s minions after him. All because he couldn’t just walk away when they tried to take her, even though it’s what he had been paid to do. Find the girl, transport her to Corvus and hand her over. The why didn’t matter to him so much as the payment. And maybe if everything had gone the way it should have - three days, max, of traveling with her before handing her over - then he wouldn’t be in this situation. But transport had taken nearly two months for an increasingly absurd number of reasons.

Dodging bounty hunters. Damage to the stabilizer on his ship. Two attempted abductions of her.

So naturally, by the time Joel had gotten her to Morgan, she had walked away with this faintly betrayed look on her face that had wormed underneath his beskar and pressed against his heart until he’d caved. He’d damn near blown the place up getting her out of there, and now she was curled up on the front seat of his ship, chin on her knees, scrapes on her hands and a scratch across her face.

Joel sighs, the sound slightly distorted by his helmet. “C’mon, Ellie, let’s get you cleaned up.”

–

Ellie’s not speaking to him, it would seem. Even though he went back for her, she apparently wasn’t over the fact that he’d left her to begin with. So she stays completely silent - more quiet than she’s ever been around him - as he wipes down her hands and her face and pulls out clean clothes for her to wear.

Once she reemerges, clean and dressed and still sulking, Joel nudges her gently up to the cockpit of the ship.

“You hurt?”

She doesn’t respond, and when Joel turns back to look at her, she mutely shakes her head.

“Good.” He lowers himself to the seat, tilting his head towards the one to his right. “Buckle up.” They’re sort of just cruising through space at this point, the ship on autopilot while Joel figures out what to do and where to point them, but that won’t be sufficient for long. He’s gonna need a plan, an actual plan. Somewhere safe for them to lay low for a bit.

And he thinks he knows just the guy to help them out.

–

“How old did you say you were?”

Ellie’s arms are crossed over her chest, face turned out the window. “Eight,” she says flatly. She looks younger than it though, probably closer to six if he’d had to guess. He’s got no way of knowing what her genetic makeup is though - and it’d be rude as hell to ask - so maybe she just aged slower, looked younger for longer.

“What did they want with you?”

“How should I know?” She bites out, still not looking at him.

Joel fiddles with the controls a bit, double checks their flight path. “They didn’t say nothin’?”

“Nope.” She pops the end of the word, emphasizing the ‘p’. “Just wheeled me back and started sticking needles in my arms.”

Joel sighs, squeezing his eyes shut. When he opens them, Ellie has finally turned to look at him, staring at him so hard he thinks she’s trying to see straight through his helmet to his face. He’s never been more glad to not take it off - she’s young, but she’s too goddamn perceptive.

“Y’know,” he says slowly, gloved fingers gripping the sides of the yoke. “You asked me awhile back why I wear the helmet and don’t take it off.”

Ellie’s eyes narrow. “Yeah…”

Joel hadn’t given her an answer then, too focused on keeping a distance between him and the target. She was just a job, he’d reminded himself, even when he caught himself smiling behind his helmet at one of her many - many - ridiculous puns. Just a job. So he’d ignored that question and most of the others she’d asked.

Felt a little like he owed her an answer now, after the events of the last twelve hours.

“It’s part of my religion.” He turns away from her, finds the words flowing easier when he’s looking out at the inky darkness of space and not right into the eyes that no longer look at him so trustfully. “It’s complicated, very long story. But pretty much we wear the helmets at all times, and to remove it with those who are not family, or to have it removed, is a great dishonor. I only take it off when I’m alone. But I do that so rarely that it feels strange when I don’t have it on, like I’m missin’ some part of myself.”

Joel hears Ellie move but doesn’t look over at her, more concerned with the appearance of Nevarro in the distance.

“Cool,” Ellie replies after a pause, and he thinks her voice sounds a little warmer than it had before. “Thanks…thanks for telling me.”

“No problem, kiddo.”

–

The house is right where it should be, and as Joel readjusts his landing gear and angles them carefully down, he sees the glint of a sun off the owner’s helmet.

By the time Joel emerges, Ellie in tow, Din is standing in the doorway. Next to his boot, peeking out with wide obsidian eyes, is the small green - Joel feels bad calling it a creature, but nobody knows what species he is - form of his adopted son.

Joel lifts a hand in greeting, and Din matches the gesture. “I won’t stay long,” he says without preamble. “Ran into some trouble, and thought maybe you could help me out. If not, we’ll be on our way.”

Din’s head tilts to the side and then up, as though scanning for anyone who may have followed them. His son shifts over, and Joel catches Ellie’s whispered whoa from behind him.

“Grogu,” Din says warningly, and Grogu stops from where he’d been inching forward. His head turns back towards the Mandalorian, ears twitching, and Din tilts his head back down. Some sort of wordless message seems to pass between father and son, and then Grogu turns back to look at them, a cooing noise emanating from him. He doesn’t move any closer though.

“What do you need?” Din asks, his attention now back on Joel and Ellie.

“‘S a long story,” Joel replies. “But we need somewhere to hide out for awhile, till the people after her stop lookin’.”

Din’s head shifts minutely, as though he’s looking from Joel to Ellie and then back again. Even with two helmets - neither of their expressions visible to the other - Joel feels like he’s having his measure taken.

“She your foundling?”

“Foundl–” Ellie sputters behind him, but Joel cuts her off.

“Yes,” he says firmly.

Din is quiet for another long moment - Joel gets the sense that the other Mandalorian is a man of very few words - and Grogu coos again, his attention now on a bug crawling through the grass near him. His father looks down at him and…it surprises Joel, the visible way Din’s posture loosens and relaxes, watching Grogu waddle along slowly.

“I know a place,” he says softly, breaking the still air. His helmet is still angled towards Grogu, tracking every small move the child makes. “Safe. Quiet. Shouldn’t have any issues there.”

Relief wraps around Joel like a blanket, a weight he hadn’t even realized was on his chest lifting. “Thank you.”

Din nods. “This is the way.”

“This is the way.”

–

Joel’s careful as he sets down the ship in the field, already noting the heads emerging from a nearby field to watch him warily. They were a peaceful people, Din had said, but wary of outsiders. But once he found Omera and introduced himself, they’d relax and he and Ellie would be given shelter.

He looks back at Ellie, watches her peering out the window curiously. “Stay close to me,” he orders. “Don’t say anything.”

Ellie just rolls her eyes at him, traipsing along dutifully behind him. “Yeah, yeah.”

A fair number of people have gathered by the time he lowers the ramp and the two of them descend, the looks on their faces ranging from curious to openly hostile. Joel’s careful to keep his hands visible and away from the weapons on his hips, eyes flicking quickly from one person to the next.

“We’re not lookin’ for trouble,” he says loudly when they’re within earshot. “I was sent here by a friend. I’m lookin’ for Omera.”

A quick flurry of whispers passes through the crowd, heads turning and words hidden behind hands. Two people peel off from the group and dart away, and Joel watches them go with narrowed eyes. Nobody else says anything after they leave, all eyes remaining on Joel and Ellie. He can see them examining him from helmet to booted feet, taking in the dents on his armor, the gleam of the beskar on his chest, the gun at his hip.

But they all remain distant and observant until the two return, this time with a willowy woman with brown hair between them.

“Who are you?” She asks without preamble, coming to a halt ten feet away.

“Name’s Joel,” he replies gruffly. “This is Ellie –” he gestures behind him and sees her lift her hand in a wave from the corner of his eye “– and we need your help. Got some people after her, and my friend, another Mandalorian, said this was a safe place, if you’ll let us stay for a bit.”

“Hmm.” Her gaze narrows, lips pursing. “This friend - tell me about them.”

Joel shifts, eyes drifting past her to the still-swelling group of villagers behind her. “He’s a Mandalorian, like me. Travelin’ with his kid, small green child. Helped y’all get some raiders to leave you alone, him and Cara Dune.”

Omera’s face relaxes more and more with each word he utters, something wistful passing through her eyes before she looks away.

“Any friend of his is a friend of mine,” she says softly. “Come with me.”

–

It takes very little time at all for Sorgan to feel like home. The other children in the village take to Ellie almost immediately, and while there’s some lingering wariness towards Joel, it fades more and more each day. He doesn’t know how long they’ll be able to safely stay here, but he’s content in a way he hasn’t been in years.

“Joel!” Ellie yells, the door banging against the wall as she barges in. “Guess what?”

He uncrosses his boots, smiling behind his helmet at the sight of her. Covered in grass and dirt and what looks a bit like slime. “What, kiddo?”

She kicks off her shoes by the door, chest heaving. “I finally - fucking - beat - Visz - racing –” She doubles over, sucking in air to catch her breath.

Joel chuckles. “Nice. How about you celebrate by goin’ to wash up and get ready for dinner?”

Ellie salutes him and turns down the hall towards her room. Joel gets up to check behind her that the door’s shut properly, the curtains drawn over the windows. And then he sets the table, listening all the while for the sounds of Ellie cleaning up and returning.

Carefully, with a measured breath that does nothing to slow the way his pulse is racing, Joel lifts his helmet from his head and sets it on the side table. The breastplate and shoulder pauldrons follow, one piece at a time until he’s left in a simple long-sleeve shirt and the armor covering his legs.

And then he waits.

It’s only a few more minutes before Ellie emerges, water dripping from the ends of her hair. She’s looking down at the ground as she walks, not paying him the slightest bit of attention until she rounds the corner.

“Hey Joel, did we –”

Ellie halts so fast that she nearly over balances, eyes wide and jaw hanging. Joel doesn’t say anything, just sits with his elbows braced on his knees and his hands clasped, waiting for her reaction.

Her eyes flick to the helmet and back to him again, raking over his face. “You - you’re not wearing your helmet.” Joel inclines his head. “But you –” she pauses, clearly thinking back months ago, when he’d told her why he wore the helmet all the time. Ellie swallows. “You said you only take it off around…family.”

“I did,” Joel agrees softly.

Ellie clears her throat, takes a few careful steps forward. “So…I’m not just cargo?”

Joel’s throat tightens, jaw grinding, silently cursing himself. “No, baby girl, you’re not.”

“Okay.” A few more steps forward, until her feet are brushing the tips of his boots. “Okay, cool.”

He feels exposed in a way he’s not used to, watching Ellie take in every possible facet of his face - the scars, the wrinkles, the gray peppering his beard and hair. Nothing hidden from her this time around.

“You’re old,” Ellie finally says with a giggle. Her hand lifts, one of her fingers poking gently at his cheek. “How do your bones not collapse with all that armor, don’t they deteriorate at some point?”

“Little shit,” Joel says affectionately, batting her hand away and poking her own cheek in turn. She laughs again, hand falling to her side.

“Old man,” she retorts playfully. And then before Joel can blink - or even register the movement - she’s flung her arms around his neck, face buried in his shoulder. Automatically his own arms come up and wrap around her small frame in turn. She stays there for a minute and Joel lets her, hand rubbing softly between her shoulder blades. He waits for her to detach first, watches carefully as she steps back and scrubs at her cheek.

“C’mon, kiddo,” Joel nudges her towards the table. “Let’s eat dinner.”

thanks for reading! you can find the full ficlet collection on my ao3.

anon, if this wasn't quite what you were looking for please let me know, and i'll try again!

#the last of us fanfiction #tlou fanfiction #tumblr ficlets #a space bound rocket ship (and your heart's the moon)#joel and ellie #lauronk answers

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joelsfavouritegirl · 7 months ago

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i feel like pre-outbreak joel would smell so good 😍🤤 he’d probably smell like deodorant, detergent, and sweat lol i’d totally stick my face into his neck.

Also much as i love reading about post outbreak grumpy joel 🥰 i think my favorite genre would be just slice of life fics with him pre-outbreak or even no outbreak. Like idk i think it heals something in me when i see reader x joel fics where they’re just madly in love and finally has someone to help him out with taking care of sarah and stuff. Like i love reading stuff where reader just takes care of joel 😭 i feel bad for him i wanna spoil that man and be a total housewife for him and just cook and clean for him and take care of sarah so he doesn’t have to worry about it 😭 have you seen the pills on his nightstand? homie has like anxiety and stomach ulcers 😭 poor babyyy

no bcs truth has been spoken🗣️🗣️🗣️ saying this again, i’m such a whore for literally anything to do with pre-outbreak!joel like have you seen that man?? bb was stressed all the fuckin way and he didn’t deserve any of it. literally broke my heart when i first found out about all the pills littering his night table like😭😭 sweets was going through some shit

but no i agree with u all the way, every ounce of feminism leaves my body the moment i see that man. he wants his whole house cleaned? gladly anytime babe (but in reality he’d probably never want you doing too much work, would always volunteer and power through it but god sometimes it’s hard so you end up doing it for him and reassuring him how it’s not a problem)

desperately need more pre-outbreak!joel fics. DOMESTIC JOELLLLLL🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤

and oh em gee yes i 💯 agree that he’d smell rly niceeee, that detergent that you bought once and you haven’t stopped using since he said he liked it once (and you like the way it makes his clothes smell), and maybe even some cologne if he’s going out somewhere???? god i love this man<333 TYSM FOR THE SUBMISSIONNN O LOVE TALKING ABOUY THIS SHIT WITH YA’LL🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼

#thelastofus #joelmiller #game joel miller #headcanons #joel miller #elenas asks

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rainbowchaox · 2 years ago

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Monster Of The Week Ranchers Au:

Okokokokokok this au is based on small town that besieged with so much supernatural shenanigans that Jimmy the chosen one that wants to just be a normal dude and play his Cowboy esque character in his dnd campaign has to be forced to put on his destiny pants and save the town and sometimes the world every each weekend or so.

Jimmy is very much “I JUST WANT TO BE NORMAL” type of fated main character.

Tango who is his main love interest is literally a cryptid in the woods that legit falls in love with Jimmy at first interaction. Is actually dangerous but literally all he did is rummage tents for marshmallows and beer. Is highkey feral and is one of the first ones to join the bust the supernatural gang.

Grian is the brother of Main Character Jimmy that thought he would be the chosen one but destiny is a bitch making him a petty fucker for the first arc because Jimmy took his job in his eyes.

Scar is literally a dude that comes from a family of magic users that is heavily tied to the dark secrets of the small town but is the black sheep of the family despite being unironically the most powerful of his generation in his family.

Impulse is literally a normal dude. Excerpt he has a car and is way too willing to break all laws to help Jimmy and co beat whatever is the monster of the week. He eventually manages to get fae napped and Fae married in a later arc to Bdubs who is a Fae Creature.

Bdubs is a fae creature that is a little shit that appears to help or make Jimmy and co life a little bit hell. And yes somehow Impulse with his normal boy swag romances the evil adjacent fae being,

Kathrine is the recurring side character who goes to the posh private academy and from a rich af family who is probably one of the founding families of the small town. A typical popular chick but instead she’s actually nice and a friendly rival monster hunter to Jimmy. She wears a pink leather jacket and rides a motorcycle.

Scott is a vampire. Has his evil arc but eventually becomes a begrudged ally. Jimmy had a thing with him in his past life.

Fwhip as a normal dude that touches shit he shouldn’t touch. He goes outside during full moons for night walks. He summons demons or shit because he got drunk and decided to do Ouija. One of the dudes that saw “The Red Stalker” in the woods (Tango) but no one believed him and the cause of Tango bad press. In actuality Tango wasn’t trying to hurt him Fwhip got saved by Tango because another monster wanted to eat him.

Sausage as the son of the pastor that quickly learns that belief can burn bitches. Also a goddess lives in his head. He’s going through it.

Oli as the ghost that haunts the school auditorium that may be connected to some tragedy that is related to the secrets of the town. Possible died because of cult shit.

Gem as literally a new age movement leader that recently made a compound in the woods because of the “ENERGY” and “ZEN” of the environment. Worships the Fae Creature Bdubs eventually.

Lizzie is literally a old god that Joel summoned in a episode with a eldritch book. And yes Joel manages to convince her to date him.

Joel is just a normal dude that does have red string board in his room because he is sorta freaking out that ya know they live in small town supernatural.

Pearl is the goddess in Sausage brain. She can appear to other supernaturals but she kinda vibing because she is kinda low on magic god juice.

PixL as the history teacher that knows way too much about what the fuck is going down that week. Either he’s immortal or connected to a secret society,

Joey as a normal dude in theatre that is the main target of Oli shenanigans.

Shubble as a goth witch in training also part of the posh private school with a major crush on Kathrine.

BigB and Ren are two homies that recently became werewolves.

Etho is another Cryptid who is besties with Tango.

Martyn is the son of the mayor whose house holds so many secrets.

Mumbo is a vampire because of Scott villain arc.

Skizzleman is just a dude that thinks the town is normal because somehow he always rationalizes the freaky shit into stuff like CO2 poisoning. Or scooby Doo shenanigans.

Cleo is a zombie that Shubble revived making them like besties and roommates.

#team rancher #rancher duo #solidaritek #double life jimmy #double life tango

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marcholasmoth · 20 days ago

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OSRR: 3746

today was chill, yet productive.

woke up eventually. had a muffin for breakfast and talked to kelly a little bit.

chilled out for a long time, just nothing to do.

eventually i did grab my laptop and i did a back and forth with the lady who has been working on my resume. she also wrote me a cover letter which is GREAT, and then she's also revamping my linkedin profile so it's better and more engaging i guess. another 250. it's draining my bank account, sure, but im hoping it pays off sooner than later.

also applied for a job at wayfair where my friends work and registered for a job fair on wednesday or something.

busy week coming up.

talked to leo for a while as well - he's got some good things going on too, and i'm very proud of him. i believe i also get to see him this week. gotta double check.

i played a few sounds of uno with joel and the homies and eventually they went out and got me some nachos. i showered while joel and company were playing magic.

i feel like all i'm doing this weekend is eating and it's weird because it's not helping me much. i have the window curtains closed because daylight is bright so it's also hard to know wake-up time. either way.

dinner was at a place in downtown portland that was very good and had an absolutely fire playlist. like, in probably forty five minutes, there were only two songs i couldn't sing along to.

after dinner, i stayed in the room for a bit while everyone else went to the pool. i cleaned up a little and then worked on my blanket commission, earning myself some more rope burn in the process. i couldn't find my box of tools for crocheting so i didn't have my tension rings, so i was stuck looping the blanket yarn around my fingers like i do with normal worsted yarn. but this shit hurts.

regardless, when the lads came back, we sat and shared memes while i continued working. joel fell asleep and i went to bed. here now.

leo is at the arcade with his homies and i am ready for sleep. at least i'm drinking enough water.

#molly rambles #operation srr #osrr #3000s #3700s #sunshine boy #sweet boy

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shellshocklove · 10 months ago

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Oop anon who wrote the most recent message, I think it came off harsher than I meant it to lol. Ik it's a story ofc and they're just characters so I'm not genuinely mad at her. I don't want her and MC to actually have beef, I meant maybe some spicy remarks or something just to make MC more upset and have joel get his head out of his ass. Speaking of which, that homie really told her she's a person that someone can't help but fall in love with and then he's like damn if I knew we were filming today I wouldn't have jerked off earlier 🤤 so I'm more irked at him than cheryl. I also do realize that MC is an unrealiable narrator (I don't blame her, joel hasn't really been communicating with her that whole day) but I think her feelings of being upset/sad/irritated rubbed off on me lol and I felt so bad for her. But yeah since you mentioned it cheryl probably didn't know who she was (she did miss the entire meeting)

that's okay anon <3 i just wanted to set the record straight. obviously they are just characters. but cheryl is a sexworker and to villainize her for being sexual, and making our reader the "hero" for being pure just don't sit right with me. cheryl to me is more someone who's confident in herself and her body, and she's excited about this big opportunity to film with a big star, and to star in a big movie as her debut. girlie is killing it professionally tbh! and she was just doing her job.

but she's obviously someone who makes our reader insecure, and that's just our reader's personality. it could've been a 50 year old veteran in the business and reader would still fell insecure. and thank you for saying reader is an unrealiable narrator bc she def is!

i think it'll be so interesting what people will say about the next part as we'll learn a little bit more about joel 👀

#ask #anon #iwbyl

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weeklydoseoffeelgoodtunes · 29 days ago

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August 31, 2024 (214)

Top 30

1. Hozier- Too Sweet

2. Sigala, Trevor Daniel, 24kGoldn- It’s a Feeling

3. Deorro- Me Caes Muy Bien

4. Chappell Roan- HOT TO GO!

5. almost monday- can’t slow down

6. Wallows- Calling After Me

7. LAUREL- 45 Degrees

8. Danny Ocean- Si no no

9. SOFI TUKKER- Spiral

10. Roosevelt- In The Dark

11. XG- Something Ain’t Right

12. Beach Weather- High In Low Places

13. Quavo & Lana Del Rey- Tough

14. beabadoobee- Beaches

15. Toro y Moi- Tuesday

16. The Beaches- Takes One To Know One

17. Artemas- dirty little secret

18. Asake & Travis Scott- Active

19. Sabrina Carpenter- Taste

20. Suki Waterhouse- Supersad

21. Cheat Codes & Train- Bloom

22. Post Malone & Morgan Wallen- I Had Some Help

23. Dillon Francis, Galantis, Arden Jones- Pretty Low

24. SOFI TUKKER- Hey Homie

25. Lady Gaga & Bruno Mars- Die With A Smile

26. Billie Eilish- LUNCH

27. Rare Americans- Mr. Please

28. Tommy Richman- DEVIL IS A LIE **DEBUT**

29. Milky Chance- Naked & Alive **DEBUT**

30. Washed Out- The Hardest Part

Close Calls

1. Kylie Minogue, Bebe Rexha, Tove Lo- My Oh My

2. Zedd & Bava- No Gravity

3. Robin Schulz, Joel Corry, KOPPY- Upside Down

4. Charli XCX- Apple

5. Andy C & Becky Hill- Indestructible

#214 #august 2024 #august 31 #music #top songs #top songs of the week #current music #playlist #countdown #milky chance #tommy richman #hozier #too sweet

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corazondebeskar-reads · 7 months ago

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homie. my friend. bruh.

you cannot keep doing this; I'm going to DIE from anxiety. it's SO good and SO horrifying and yet... and yet. i cannot help but love them/him/all of it.

I was still reeling from the last chapter and let me tell you—

no joke; I had to fucking maladaptive daydream a fix-it for this before bed because I could NOT stop the creeping sense of dread and mortality and inevitable cruelty. (this is a compliment; i hope that's clear!!)

SICK to my stomach with every chapter but I cannot stop reading it; I'm hooked, I'm addicted, you've given me stockholm syndrome

the way I'm like YAS she's having soft moments with Joel but also like NO GIRL run into the wilderness with vic!!

“Having a good day, Julie?”, he asked.

I HATE THIS MOTHERFUCKING BITCH SO MUCH. god what an ASS. a MONSTER. ugh he makes me sick. what the fuck is wrong with him???

“ So if you piss me off again she’s gonna be thrown here and fucked an entire day by these guys. To teach YOU a lesson. She doesn't need one, she knows her place.”

I'm going to kill him. back the fuck up, Joel.

“A reminder of my daughter.” A veil formed over his eyes.

god fucking damnit. I had the EXACT same reaction as she did. want to hate him so so so bad. and yet...

I'm low key glad she's getting involved with the community if only because living in that house and waiting to get raped is... an unthinkable existance. I'm glad she has something more, even if it's very little and still a product of her situation.

sorry not sorry i like the stupid rookie kid. he's so polite. i'm sure he'll be corrupted eventually rip.

also have i said before that i love tommy? i love tommy. what a weirdo, being all sweet, but it'd work on me ngl.

HE BROUGHT HER BACK TO HIS HOUSE AGAIN?? what are boundaries, joel? someone's down bad.

I had to sit on this for days and re-read it twice before I could articulate any of this and it STILL came out like nonsense. oh well ily i love them i love this and i'm so afraid for what will come next.

Breathe (SMBU part 5)

4k9 | Joel Miller x fem reader x Tommy Miller x raider Series summary: you’ve been kidnapped by raiders, Joel is their leader. Women who don’t “behave” are locked in a place you call “the shithouse”. You live in your own house, “freely”. You and your roommate, Vic, became girlfriends. Joel, Tommy and the guards have free use of the women in the camp, while respecting Joel's strict rules. Chapt summary: Joel wants to make things clear, if you ever decide to oppose him again. Him and Tommy use you for an "initiation" Warnings: 18+ mdni. Dead dove. Dark - noncon (captivity, threat) / dubcon Gangbang, dvp, oral (f/m), spitting, spanking, rough sex, degradation, praise kink, size kink, piv, rimming, anal, creampies, angst a/n: Heed the warnings. If any of this makes you uncomfortable, do not pursue reading. I don't condone any of this. Thank you @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog for beta-ing 💕🫶 The Prodigy - Breathe | playlist | ao3 | series masterlist

Main masterlist - Part 4

The next morning while you and Vic were still sleeping, Joel brushed your cheek to wake you up. He asked her to go to her bedroom then changed your bandage gently so as not to hurt you, asking if it was painful. He placed medicine and bandages on the dresser, and left saying he was letting you rest. You didn't see him or any guards for two days, until one of them came and told you to follow him. You tensed up when you approached the shithouse, but you didn’t ask why you were there. You knew it was pointless, the explanations would come in due time, probably from Joel, not from a guard. You approached one of the bedrooms and you heard grunts and moans. Your discomfort grew.

“Stay here,” he told you, after letting you into the room. The smell was terrible. Still made of cum and piss. You tried to look away as she tried to catch your gaze, silently begging for your help. You wanted to cry knowing there was nothing you could do for her. Nausea seized you. Three guards took turns between her thighs. Tears ran down her cheeks but there was nothing human in these men’s eyes or words. They were taking, taking, taking. Raping. Feeding on her fear as much as her body. The mattress was even dirtier than the first time Joel had brought you there, the day you had to choose your fate.

When all three had come inside her, they passed by you, staring at you from head to toe and you placed your hands in front of your chest as an illusory protection. Once gone, you moved closer to her after grabbing a dirty blanket from the corner of the room to cover her.

“I’m sorry, sweetie, I’m sorry.” She was crying and was ashamed, as if it was her fault. You hated them. The door opened and Joel entered.

“Having a good day, Julie?”, he asked.

You hated him now, and he saw it when your eyes met. He grabbed your elbow and led you out of the room.

“You’re gonna get her killed.” You were so shocked that you were shaking, barely managing to keep your composure. You hoped not to show him but your guts knew better than your mind. This man felt the slightest emotions that emanated from a person, and he used them. Whether to make them feel bad or good, depending on what he wanted. He was way too good at this, and it was probably why he was still alive, running raiders camp in the lost world.

“Getting fucked ain’t gonna kill her.”

“Come on, Joel! She is poorly nourished, probably has lots of deficiencies and perhaps an infection. Not to mention a psychological damage. Have you really lost all humanity?”

You were trying not to cry. You imagined far too easily how you could have been in her place.

“You know I don’t. You're still there”, pointing with his chin at the house where you lived. “In your pretty bedroom. With your pretty girlfriend.”

The way he said it made you shiver. You showed him your bandaged hand, to make him think about you, rather than her.

“What’s your point? You think those guys, the one that railed her, wouldn’t have done worse?”

“What do you want me to say? That you're less of an asshole than them? Still an asshole to me.”

You wondered if you were going too far but you were too upset by what you had just witnessed. “Why did you show me this? Those guys? You’re gonna threaten to send me there again?”

“No. No I won’t. We both know it wouldn’t work.” You looked at each other, waiting for the other one to speak. He spoke first.

“You think you have leverage on me, that I love your pussy too much to throw you to these men. And maybe it’s true. But now I have leverage on you too. I know how much you care about her. So if you piss me off again she’s gonna be thrown here and fucked an entire day by these guys. To teach YOU a lesson. She doesn't need one, she knows her place.”

"You disgust me."

“Oh, baby. You hate me now, but you love my cock as much as I love your cunt. You may have forgotten it for now, but you’ll remember it when you’ll moan, bouncing on it. Go back to your house now, lesson’s over.”

You insulted him in every possible way in your head, while he looked at you with his arrogant smirk. Fully aware of what was on your mind. Your heart sank thinking about Vic, and you went straight to your room, hoping that sleep would make you forget everything else.

Footsteps woke you up in the middle of the night, just before a guard entered your room and asked you to follow him. It was unusual. When one of them wanted to fuck you at night, he would do it in your bedroom and then leave. As if they wanted to leave their scent in your bed. You were even more surprised when you saw that he wasn't taking you to the fuckhouse. Or the shithouse. For a moment you couldn’t help but be afraid that Joel would “teach you” another lesson there.

The guard led you to a house you had never been in and knocked on the door. You heard Joel shoot “come in”. The man closed the door behind you, and Joel told you to go upstairs. He was lying on a bed, in jeans and a t-shirt.

“Is it…?” you started to ask.

“My bedroom, yeah.”

You looked around. The furniture, the way the room was organized. Everything was clean and tidy. You looked at the window, illuminated by a nearby lamp. Pink, blue and purple paper butterflies were hanging there, moving with the breeze that brushed against them. Everything was minimalistic in his room, and this childish touch of color stood out from everything else. You turned to him with a confused expression and he took a moment before responding.

“A reminder of my daughter.” A veil formed over his eyes. Your heart sank when you heard this confession. With those words, you suddenly realized two things. He had experienced a loss that broke his heart, and you had a special place for him. A part of you had already known it, but now you couldn’t deny it anymore. And somehow, it complicated things for you. From the beginning, you wanted to hate him. But your heart wavered because of Joel's behavior. You knew you were suffering Stockholm syndrome, you knew that your instincts were doing what they could to help you survive, at almost any price. But it wasn't just that.

And now, you didn't know why or how, but this special place you had, was there. Even if he was capable of acting like an asshole, to fuck you with three other guys or to throw you out to all his men. Or to cut your fucking pinky. But he decided to tell you that and your heart was racing. His constant hot and cold behavior was driving you crazy.

“How’s your finger?”

“Great, for a cut off one.”

It made him smile. You, not so much.

He stood up and came up to you, and surprised you again when he asked if he could hold you. You considered saying no to him, but that wasn’t what you wanted. Even if you hated yourself for it. So you nodded and he took you in his arms, and for a few minutes your body relaxed, enjoying the security he was offering you. Your body was lost in his arms, and you loved that feeling, that strength all around you. And not directed against you, for once. He took your chin between his fingers and lifted it towards him. His brown eyes, which sometimes turned black. But not there. And he kissed you. He’d done it before, while he was fucking you, but never like this. His lips were soft and warm. His hands slid down your body, brushing against your breasts, and you shivered. He removed your top and slid his hand between your breasts, rubbing their curvature. Then your pants, getting on his knees to remove them from your feet. Your panties, while he was still kneeling in front of you. He looked at your pussy and brushed your folds with his thumb.

“Lie down on the bed,” he said.

“Can you…” you stopped, not daring to go further in your request.

“Can I what?”

“Take off your clothes? I’d like you to be naked, like me.”

“Ok, baby,” he replied.

“Can I do it?”

He nodded, and let you take off his t-shirt, pants and boxers. He was barefoot.

“Thank you”, you breathed out, before going to lie down. He knelt at the foot of the bed, sliding you over to him. He was calm. Different from the other times when he had fucked you alone. As if he was less harsh. As if he was human, at least a part of him. The emotions were so strange in that new world. And even more so when you were in captivity. Used.

When he placed his lips on your pussy, you forgot the rest. His tongue brushed against your folds up to your clit, before his lips gripped it, sucked on it, kissed it.

“Open up for me,” he said.

You folded your legs further, resting them against the bed. He spread your folds with his hands and spat on your clit then on your folds, before sliding his thumb on your delicate skin. “Joel…” you whispered. He didn’t respond, preferring to slide his tongue into your pussy, groaning between your thighs. Fucking you with it and collecting all your wetness. Digging as far as possible. His thumb twirling over your clit. Sometimes he would let his saliva flow onto your clit again. The feeling of it flowing over you, before he spread it with his thumb, electrified you.

“Good girl,” he said, just before he moved his tongue up to your clit and buried two of his fingers in your pussy. His other hand was on your stomach, caressing your skin. As if he wanted to feel your stomach moving up and down, following the pace of his fingers or tongue. You felt your orgasm building. He spat one last time, knowing the effect it had on you. You came on his fingers, your pussy clenching on them. You heard him moan, tongue resting on your clit. Feeling its jolts.

Then he crawled over to you, a firm hand around his hard, thick cock. He nestled it at your entrance and pushed in without waiting. Eyes staring into yours, until you had to close yours, trying to get used to his size. He was spreading your folds with his cock, without forcing but without slowing down either. Until he bottomed out.

“I love to fuck you, you’re right”, he confessed in your ear. “Best pussy I’ve ever fucked, maybe. Takin’ my cock so fuckin’ good.” You whined against his neck.

“Told you, baby. You love my cock as much as I love your cunt.” You didn't want to think about it. You were there because they had captured you, because you were forced to let him, them, fuck you. As if he knew what you were thinking, he added, "yeah, since the beginning, you're getting off on being fucked by raiders."

There he was again, that Joel you hated. Your whole body contracted as you tried to push him off of you but he tightened his grip, continuing to fuck you slowly, growling in your neck.

And you hated it but you couldn't deny the heat that rose in your core, his cock rubbing against your g spot, and his lower stomach against your clit.

“Yeah, baby, just like that. You’re gonna come on my cock.”

“Yeah…I…fuck, Joel…”

“Come on, baby, I missed your cunt these last days. I missed stuffing you full of my cock.”

He wrapped his arms under your shoulders and pulled you close.

“Talk to me. Tell me what you feel.”

“I…I feel it coming. Growing in me. It’s so good, so warm. Why do you…Oh god…I’m gonna…Joel, Joel…”

“Why do I what?”

“Shit…why do you make me feel so good…”

He growled, and added “come on, baby, squeeze my dick. Come on it, then I’ll fill you up.”

You put your legs on his lower back, allowing him to fill you deeply, completely, as he was thrusting in just as slowly.

“Yeah, fuck, yeah…just like that baby.”

You dug your nails into his flesh as the wave hit you. He kept his body against yours, his cock buried deep inside you without moving, just to feel the jerks of your pussy on his cock. Until he came too, just by being clenched by your folds, and shot his cum deep inside you. He lay on top of you for a few minutes, then he withdrew. He told you the guard was going to take you to your house. You picked up your clothes, put them back on and left. On your way back home, you tried to stop your tears from falling. As if your heart expected that he would treat you differently, less harshly, after that moment. You didn’t know what was wrong with you. What you were thinking, how you could be so naive. He was just a raider.

The days passed. The multiple fucks too. With time you learned to keep yourself busy. Learned to sew, knit. Tinkering, refinishing furniture. The men brought back various things from their raids. Women were not allowed to leave the camp of course, to avoid the risk of them escaping. At first, time passed agonizingly slowly and you were bored, but refused to participate in activities with other people. To meet other people, chat with them. As if that would mean you were giving in. And then you broke down and took some seeds available in the warehouse. You planted them in the vegetable garden. It was the first activity you got involved in.

Loads of books were available and you had discovered many authors. The days were passing faster now. Sometimes you couldn't help but wonder what you would do if you could leave this camp. If you could survive, and how. If you would come across worse than the men there.

One day you noticed a new soldier. Young, early 20s. And your heart sank thinking of those young people who had only known that violent world. What would their life be like, in another universe? He wouldn’t become a raider, who learnt that women were only a resource. You hated this world so much. Several times you felt his gaze on you. A look still pure, despite everything.

“You like her?” Joel asked him.

“Well…she’s pretty.”

“Yeah, she is. Wanna fuck her? You had the talk with Tommy, right?”

“Yeah, but…I don’t know, I’ve never done that.”

“What, you’re a virgin?”

“No. But…I’ve never fucked a woman who didn’t want it.”

“Yeah well, it’s not a problem here, kiddo.”

You knew they were talking about you even if you couldn’t hear them. Joel wasn’t exactly discreet.

When a guard came for you that night and brought you to the fuck house, you knew what was going to happen. Joel, Tommy, and the young guard were already there, waiting for you.

“Hey sweetheart, always a pleasure to see you”, Tommy said, grabbing your ass and kissing you, as he always did. “This kid here has some things to learn about the camp. You’re gonna be a good girl and help him with that, ok?” As if you had the choice. You shrugged.

“But well, once he tastes this pussy, the others will seem bland to him.”

“Don’t be rude, Tommy. We have other good pussies to fuck. Her roommate, for example.”

They both sneered. “Assholes”, you thought. Tommy laughed, seeing your face. “Ok, sweetheart, let him taste your mouth.”

You knelt in front of the guard, unbuttoning his pants and pulling them down along with his boxers. He smelled good. He was semi-hard, looking down at you. Embarrassed. As if you were in a position of strength against him. You wondered how long it would take before it would change.

You took his cock in your hand and let your saliva run down his tip. Spread it with your thumb, then jerked it gently.

“I wonder how long it’ll take him to paint her face,” Tommy chuckled.

“No, no no. Not too fast, kiddo. We like to fuck them when they’re full of cum. Stuff her at least long enough to cum inside.”

You saw him blush. At least women weren't the only victims of their degradation, and somehow that made you happy. You moved closer to him and licked his tip gently, tasting his precum. He jumped and you smiled, before taking him in your mouth, continuing to jerk him gently. His cock was an average size, and you didn't need to get used to its thickness between your lips. You moved down his shaft, keeping your fist clenched at the base of his cock. Picking up the pace slightly, you began to suck him at a steady pace. His precum flowed down your throat, and you heard him moan.

“How does that feel, kiddo?”, asked Joel.

“Good, fucking good”, he answered. “And you…really fuck her, all of them, when you want?”

“Yeah. Day, night. You can fuck them alone, or with other guards. As you wish. But you do it the way I say. You make them cum, you don't hit them. You can slap them a little, we all like it when our cock is buried in their pussy, but not more than that. You have the ones from the shithouse if you need to let off some steam.” You stiffened when you heard him speak like that.

“Fuck…ok, ok.”

Your saliva ran down his shaft and you licked it.

“Oh fuck…ma’am…” Tommy and Joel snickered, hearing him.

“He’s cute”, added Tommy. The guard didn't even hear him.

“Wait, or I’m gonna come, they said I couldn’t do that uh…in your mouth.”

“Come lie down on the bed, baby. He's gonna fuck you. How do you want it, man?”

“All fours? Is that ok?” he asked, looking at you.

He was sweet and cute, and despite the incongruous situation you wanted to counterbalance the attitude of the two brothers.

“Of course”, you answered. You settled onto your hands and knees, waiting for him to come behind you. He knelt down and hesitated.

“But uh…what if I can’t make her come?”

The brothers laughed. You couldn’t imagine how he must feel, having to fuck you in front of both of them, as if it was something normal, while they didn’t even hold back their laughs. He was still so pure.

“It’s ok, kiddo,” Joel replied. “You’re young, you gotta learn. We’ll make her come, don’t worry.”

“Are you two gonna...make love to her, after me?”

“Oh yeah…my brother and I, we’re gonna make love to her. Don’t worry ‘bout that.”

The guard moved closer to you, placing his hands on your hips before grabbing his cock and sliding down to your entrance.

“Oh, fuck”, he said, when your pussy clenched against his shaft.

“Yeah, she’s tight. We still don’t know how she manages to take both of our cocks at the same time, in that tight pussy”, said Tommy.

“Two? Are you both fucking her at the same time? In the same hole?”

“In the same hole, yeah. Or one in her cunt and the other in her ass. Depending on what we want.”

“Oh, man…”

He started to fuck you. He was clearly not experienced, his movements were clumsy. But he wasn't abrupt, wasn’t hurting you. He spread your ass cheeks slightly, probably looking at your ring.

“Ever fucked an ass before?”

“Oh, fuck…I’m gonna…shit. Oh damn it was close. No, never.”

“You’re gonna love it. Even tighter than her pussy. Much tighter. The first few times you'll probably cum just from digging your tip into that hole.”

You heard him moan, and he came in your pussy, grunting, clinging to your hips.

“Ok kiddo, not so bad, but you gotta practice. Ever ate a pussy?”

“Yeah, well…a couple times.”

“You gotta learn to make them come that way. And when you’re really good at it, you'll make them cum by rubbing their clit while you’re fucking them. And then, just with your cock. Right, baby? She loves that.”

You blushed with this allusion to the night at his house, and the guard pulled out.

“Ok kiddo. Lesson number 2. You’re gonna watch us fuck her.”

“Come sit on my cock, baby. Hurry up, don't waste his cum, wanna fuck you through it”, Joel told you, spanking your ass. He sat against the headboard and you straddled him. His gaze was unfathomable, but it wasn't the same man who had fucked you missionary in his bedroom. He was good at compartmentalizing, much better than you. You grabbed his cock and impaled yourself on it gently. “Fuck”, you mumbled. He was thick, much thicker than the guard, and you needed to lower yourself onto it slowly.

“You missed my cock, baby?” he asked you with a smirk.

You dug your nails into the flesh of his shoulders, as you gradually sank onto his shaft.

He smiled and grabbed your shoulder, and added “I missed your cunt too. God, I love to fuck you when you’re full of cum.”

The guard’s cum helped you get used to his cock. Joel grabbed your ass with his hands and started bouncing you on his cock. You bit your lip. Tommy was sat in a chair by the bed, his dick in his hand, and said “you look so fuckin’ pretty bouncing on my brother’s cock, baby.”

He came closer, jerking off, and said “suck my dick, baby. Make it wet, we’re gonna need it.”

You wondered how he was going to fuck you, but whether it was in your pussy too or in your ass, you knew you had to make it easier for you. He slipped his cock into your mouth without waiting.

“Shit, yeah, you’re hot baby, suckin’ my brother’s cock.”

He had slowed down the pace to allow you to suck Tommy properly.

“Look at that Joel, the kiddo is already hard again.”

“Nice. You’re gonna have another lesson today. Sharing a cunt with another cock. I hope you’re not one of those who doesn’t want two cocks touching?”

“No…no I don’t mind.”

“Good.”

Tommy kept thrusting into your mouth, while Joel's hand on the back of your head accompanied your movements until he shifted it to stroke your clit with his thumb. His cock was rubbing your core, filling you perfectly, as his finger was swirling your clit. Every time they both fucked you, you always forgot at one point or another the situation you were in. Only focusing on your sensations, and theirs.

“Look at that, kiddo. She’s gonna come soon. She loves taking our cocks so much, like a good little whore. Right, baby?”

You nodded, your mouth around Tommy's shaft.

“Yeah she’s so good at this. Prettiest mouth and prettiest cunt. Taking us so well”, Tommy added.

Your pussy contracted more and more on Joel's shaft, as his thumb gave you what you needed, until you came all over his cock.

“There we go…you’re doing great, baby.”

Tommy pulled out of your mouth, holding your cheek with his hand while you came down from your orgasm. Joel pulled you towards him, leaning forward to offer you to Tommy, who was already kneeling behind you.

“Ok, baby. One more dick”, he said.

“Yeah, that's what you want, baby, right?”

You nodded, resting your head on his shoulder. You were used to both of them taking you by now. Used to the feeling of your pussy spreading on both of their cocks. Even if it still stretched painfully, as the second one thrust in. And somehow, taking them both, that abandonment, strangely made you forget your life in the camp.

You felt Tommy’s hand on your hip, and the head of his cock pressing against the dick already inside you. Using it to slide his member in.

“Oh fuck, men…that’s so hot,” said the guard who had moved closer to watch.

“Relax, baby…let me in. Yeah, just like that. Good girl.”

Tommy's praise had always helped you to relax, to turn you on. Today, like any other day. He usually did it in a lighter way than Joel, perhaps less degrading.

“Breathe, sweetheart.”

You did as he said, breathing slowly until his tip slid into your pussy, spreading you completely. You whined into Joel’s neck.

“That’s a good girl”, he praised you.

“Look at you takin’ these cocks baby”, added Tommy as he continued to thrust in. “Yeah, just like that. One more dick in that cunt.”

They slid into you slowly, then gradually increased the pace. You heard them growl. Joel against your ear, Tommy on the back of your head.

“Gonna take my place after I fill her, man?” Tommy asked the guard.

“Yeah…fuck…Sure.”

“We’re stretching her good, damn…”

Tommy grunted and you felt his hot cum fill you, then some of it leaked out of your pussy.

“Thank you baby, another great fuck”, he said, kissing your shoulder.

You whimpered when he pulled out. Joel remained still and the guard knelt behind you again.

“Take it easy, don’t hurt her. Lean against my cock and slide gently.”

“Ok, sir”, he replied.

He rested his cock against Joel's, covered in Tommy's cum, and thrusted his tip in.

“Oh, fuck, she’s so tight.”

“Yeah, she is. That's good, uh? Come on kiddo, slide in. Slowly.”

The guard placed one hand on your shoulder and the other on your hip, holding on for leverage. And they started to fuck you. Sometimes sliding together, sometimes alternating rhythms.

“You’re ok, baby? You’re taking our cocks so good, fuck…”

“Yeah, yeah…I’m ok.”

“You’re such a slut, baby…Always ready for more” you heard Tommy say.

“I’m…I’m gonna cum”, the guard whined.

“Come on, kiddo, fill her up. Then I’ll fuck her like she needs to get fucked”, Joel said as he looked at you, grabbing your cheeks in his hands and keeping you facing him.

You heard the guard grunt then freeze, adding his cum to Tommy's.

“Ah fuuuuuck, that’s hot, baby. You never disappoint”, Joel said.

The guard pulled out, and so did Joel, as he told you to stand on all fours while he knelt behind you.

“Yeah, I finally got this pretty pussy all to myself. I'm gonna fuck you rough baby. I know you want it. Hope I'll feel something. We really ruined you, uh?”

He slid into your pussy without waiting, hands clinging to your shoulders. Fucking you hard, without respite. Then he spat on your ass, rubbing your ring with his thumb, his other hand on your waist.

“Gonna fuck that ass. Pussy’s too ruined.”

“Wait, Joel!”

“Calm down, ain’t gonna hurt you.”

He pulled away, licking your ring and spitting on it as he jerked off. Then he positioned his cock covered by your wetness and the other men cum at your entrance.

“See, kiddo…that ass” - he thrust his tip in - “is so good” - pulled back - “that I can never stay too long” - he thrust in totally - “without fucking it. Oh fuck!!”

You laid your head on the pillow, moaning and fisting the pillow, as his hands were buried in the flesh of your hips, fucking your ass hard and deep. You heard him growl more and more.

“Look at that kiddo, she’s taking it so good”, Tommy praised you.

Joel thrust in a few more times, hands frozen on your hips, then he stopped, flooding your ass with his cum. He stayed there while he caught his breath, then withdrew.

“Kiddo, go pick up her girlfriend in 30 minutes.”

Then he looked at you and added “we have to keep teaching him how to fuck”, smirking.

You went back home.

When Vic finally came home that night, you were waiting for her to go to bed. But the guard didn't leave, and told you to follow him, from the front door.

“Jesus Christ…how many times does he need to fuck today?” you mumbled, looking at her.

He didn’t accompany you to the fuckhouse, but to Joel's house, once again. You went upstairs and heard the shower running. You sat on Joel’s bed waiting for him to finish. When he came out a few minutes later, in boxers and a towel around his neck, his hair was still wet and drops of water were beading on his curls. He was magnificent, from head to toe. You looked at his body as he walked towards you. Several scars covered his torso.

“You’re staring, baby”, he said with a smile.

“Yeah, well…not only men can do that.”

He smiled even more when he heard you. He brushed past you without touching you, and went to bed. “You’re gonna sleep with me tonight.”

“What…I…didn’t bring any sleeping clothes.”

“You won’t need them.”

*************

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gumybrain-sys · 10 months ago

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ranking of The (confirmed) Guys based on how much i personally like them

grace: i don’t think it likes me very much but it did help me out during a rough time. also has the most survival instinct out of all of us and i respect it. 6.5/10

will: i don’t Ljke him. hes a bitch. begrudging 3/10 because he Likes doing the stuff most of the rest of us hate and is therefore a part time homie

joel: funny guy! he Is floppy and pathetic. guy who wants to be mean and bully people so bad but then says one (1) rude thing and immediately starts apologizing bc Being Mean Is Not Nice. 10/10

ethan: she is swag and adorable and i really want to be friends with her. 10/10

THE CREATURE: i’ve only encountered this guy once when i was running a 101 degree fever. they were really enthusiastic about killing ourselves, and i otherwise don’t know much about them. if i had to guess? i’d say they’re probably connected to grace somehow- same type of creature, and the other side of the coin when it comes to survival instinct. but it did feel really awful when they were in front so 2/10

martyn: i haven’t actually met him personally so i’ll be holding off judgement for now i think

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freeworldallahmbaclass · 2 years ago

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My page is drama free and it is for all communities and people that need that help I want to apologize to any people that I have disrespected if I ever did sorry to the Muslims and Muslims community worldwide I respect you peaceful religion like the human decency it make men out of crazy people like me and the trading and getting along with all humans from all backgrounds is the right way I said thank you for everything and I apologize to the social media family people on social media disregard the lies that was spread through me for the last 10 years it's okay all my friends and family is doing okay and great in their career very great in their career go check their stuff out good music art and businesses and yeah shout out to the homies the bloods From Blue Ivy and Beyonce they always been some friends of mines we had our fights but now we are okay so shout out to them in honor of Beyonce and Blue Ivy their daughter sending me a shout out and the heart sign on stage in Paris ❤️ from Paris with love to me and in honor of my niece Erin Henry birthday you see her give her a hug and Happy Birthday to her from Jay Z and Beyonce and their daughter Blue Ivy thank you happy birthday to her right now she is safe and I promise I will keep this page with the integrity of helping only for the suffering and depressed communities across the world and drama free I wish everybody good luck in their career .

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Congratulations to me with tears in my eyes on Jay Z selecting me in the draft see Joe Montana Joe Cool documentary number 16 my number and Beyonce confirming it they finally got her to do that for me thank you so much B love Allen London Chico and all my names thank you so much and you won't forget it for giving me a chance in life thank you so much how much people can say that they got Beyonce and Jay Z a chance to record music and perform music and then to be where I'm at I'm blessed truly God is good thank you so much and I love Joel Osteen my favorite preacher in honor of this news I'm going to be on my best behavior and you won't regret it for giving me another chance on life thank you Jay Z and Beyonce and shout out to Houston I know Vaughn and Lenny is jealous now I could buy 100 Silver Jaguars your car aight too no lie the traffic we rode through smooth we went to 7 Eleven the store and got some snacks we all had a good time it was something like Vaughn didn't have his truck the green truck or something like that and Lenny said I will drive him back all the way back to Baytown Texas so we got in the car on that road trip it was fun I miss Texas those my boys shout out to Baytown and Houston Texas my fam out there my family still out there I'm going out there soon I promise myself that like next year .

Until that comeback I was just a rumor shout out to Cardi B what's up with your next album I can't wait for it I know it's going to be the best album of the year I love your music and your style and wish you the best of luck officially out of your way and yeah thanks for the book 📚 I see you helped me with that Donald Trump book that was deep because I know my self worth now and how much work I got left to do on myself now , thanks and good luck .

The Royalty and family my years as a young king 👑 album

Royalty and family my years as a young king album ( Is the diamonds is my mood forever video Jay Z and Beyonce theme and conceptual album / mixtape ) it is like the court of royalty me being a king and sitting on a throne and listening to the grievances of the people , Jay Z and Beyonce is the King and Queen that gave me the Co sign and the new chance in life to get it together and I'm taking it and running with it , self executive produced and I'm the lead actor in the lead role as shorty from the Diamonds is my mood forever video I'm clean shining and sparkling doing the damn thing as a king 👑 in my city 🏙️ New York City and internationally I'm black royalty according to the album and animated series related to Jay Z and Beyonce this is a great album I want it to be cinematic and entertaining with alot of big songs and sounds is on there it is Watch the throne and unfinished business and best of both worlds all rapped into that Royalty and family album it's a keeper I like the concept of it the idea is hot and I love the leading role yeah I'm doing it I feel great about it and have only happy thoughts about the project wish me luck .

I'm that one in a million that wins his second chance at life and second stage a true American idol story they cry when presented with their gift of that chance on stage I said thank you to Jay Z and Beyonce they took me on for his roc nation record label and Tidal music streaming service a digital service provider I will get out to it when I get to it I just want my critics off of me they are ungrateful and evil and I said yeah to Jay Z and Beyonce no lie I parted ways with people from Harlem parted ways with Vado his music hot though I love it go check that out but we moved on from each other from family and friends they could move on from me and let's go our own and enjoy our own careers I'm from Brooklyn but I don't know nobody out here no more or the Bronx and Queens I just wanted other people that work for other teams to back off of me and stop hating on me I mean everything got my name on it and is named after me in my image and likeness and I sign the common person money on their check for them and won New York City politically by building it and helping see my list of New York City accomplishments and all my other accomplishments on my other lists and yeah I retire from social media this is my last post I know I'm good and no thank you to my enemies attaching themselves to me and being able to get my services then try to throw dirt on my name and work to sabotage me they can stop following me anywhere I go and harassing me and stop heckling me and go away I thank it has been a pleasure helping the people of New York and the world music and business is next for me and I'm taking my time getting to it ain't no rush plus I get my life back from people that always hated me and I get to love myself and write and think for myself . I had to cancel working in teams and go it alone I said no to public controlling me they set you up all the time then try to get their favorites to set it off on me because I'm a star ⭐ so I'm letting Beyonce know that I ain't working with nobody from my past in Harlem New York City and no I didn't ask anybody in Brooklyn help or any other borough help I help them though I help this community but I don't want people attaching themselves to me telling me what to do or sabotage me and no to the media all channels of you guys they are racist if it wasn't for West Indians I would be dead I'm lucky they work where In at so no to the programs that isn't Jay Z and Beyonce program I know it because I'm the one they talking too and living it out so I will teach and train myself no disrespect to any one I'm good .

#Youtube

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prisonguards · 2 years ago

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yaknow I was gonna ease into this but *doesnt even draw the versions of them everyone else cares abt fucking*

Ill redraw + color this sometime later but for now…. hastily scribbled and heavily censored smallidarity fr*ttage 😳

#trafficshipping #suggestive #joel/jimmy #smallidarity #empiresshipping #<- even tho. this is a 3rdlife drawing. most people who care abt their dynamic are in here rn 😖#this is ugly and thats okay I have work in the morning its already way too late for me #the antomy is bad I knooow I know I had to rush this before bed. actual good art for these two coming soon #I SELF CENSORED IT TOO WELL YOU CANNOT TELL WHATS GOINB ON. RIP.#just a #little bro behavior thats all. just helping out the homies :)#you can tell Im still nervy abt how spicy I wanna go on here 😳#prisspeaks #prismakes

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deliriumofendless · 3 years ago

Note

Hi Zodi! I saw your requests were open so I just wanted to ask if I may request some domestic fluff with Joel like a lazy Sunday morning kinda thing and the reader and Joel are sleeping in

Please remember that there’s no rush to get requests done !! Love you homie 💜

Lazy Sunday (Joel Hokka x Reader)

you woke up shrouded in warmth, the weight of joel’s arms heavy around your waist

you rubbed the drowsiness from your eyes as you heard your boyfriend’s soft snores filled your ears

you knew moving at this point would definitely wake him so you simply elected to remain still and admire joel as he continued to rest

he always looked so much younger when he slept, he always worried when he was awake. a quality that you tried your best to relieve him of

he appreciated all the help you provided but you both knew it was tough

being the singer of a band that was quickly rising in fame was sure to be stressful and his insomnia definitely didn’t help so letting him sleep as much as he could was a priority

as if sensing your consciousness, joel’s eyes slowly opened as he began to wake up

his voice was still rough with sleep, “g’morning” he mumbled

“morning,” you spoke back quietly

joel rolled onto his back, stretching and cracking his back

“i really don’t wanna do anything today”

you nodded tiredly, agreeing with his statement. it was a sunday morning, who would want to do anything

“you don’t have anything scheduled for today so you don’t have to do anything”

you began to sit up in bed before joel quickly tackled you in a hug and pulled you back down into his arms

he rubbed his face into your neck leaving soft kisses on your neck and shoulder

“good, let’s just stay in bed today”

you giggled at his sudden playfulness, in the public eye he was always viewed as this hard and unaffected rockstar. but at home he very much was the clingy boyfriend who just wanted to lay in bed with his partner.

“if we’re staying in bed, maybe you should get more sleep?” you suggested knowing that he should learn to cherish his rest before he was out touring again

he narrowed his eyes at you jokingly, “what? you don’t wanna talk to me? you’d rather me be unconscious and leave you alone?”

you shook your head, “noo, of course i wanna hang out with you-“

he cut you off, “then let’s just stay in bed and watch a movie and eat some popcorn”

“how are we supposed to stay in bed if i have to get out of bed to make popcorn?” you asked with sarcastic innocence

“you’re lucky your pretty, your sense of humor sucks” he jokes back before quickly stealing a kiss and getting out of bed for your snacks

you smiled at his retreating figure as he left the room wondering how you ended up with someone who could make you so happy

#blind channel #joel hokka #joel hokka x reader #blind channel x reader

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dippinginthe4door · 4 years ago

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Wait what’s on the “thanks to” section on Swan Songs I must know

Obviously there’s lots of the standard stuff, but I like how the guys added their touch to it in some lines.

Deuce:

Our fans for helping create this. Rita & Alex (Mom & Dad), Arina Erlichman, Angela Marie Young, Jeff Peters, Mike Renault, Riva, Zeda, My Grandma, Jim Milner & Ben Milner (Milner Bros.), Joel Foss, Marc Bosserman, Jeanie Ibert. Everyone in HU working hard with me. Tim from LADAY, Alex Sophli, Brian Weinberg. Everyone @ A&M/Octane Records …… and of course Merlin.

J-Dog:

Thanks to my parents, especially my Italian, ball busting Mom, my Mother Jennifer. All the band’s parents, especially Deuce’s. Science. The Phantasm. Truth & his Brother. Wes & his Brother. Everyone from JOR & EL. The whole Panther family. LA Pride Lauren. Jeff Peters, for putting up with our shit. Mike Renault. Desiree “money making, jerry maguire” Mandelbaum. Ann Murray. Steve Busch. Ben and Jim “Milner Bros”. Jimmy Iovine & James Diener, for making me rich for a hot minute. Ashlee and Asia for the awesome double dates. Glen Danzig, the real one who plays our drums. MTA workers for getting me around this city for so long. JLo and Steve from Tiny’s Bar ….and most of all of course, all our fans and everyone who likes our music and has supported it. No thanks to haters and the Glendale and Burbank pigs and MI and all it’s students, for not letting me in the building, you know who you are. Get the fuck out of my town.

Johnny 3 Tears:

Jeff Peters, the band’s manager, but more than that, my mate. Mike Renault for shutting Jeff up ….sometimes ! ! Desiree Mandelbaum. Jeff Kurtich, the Boston Brawler. My Mom for all her help. My Brother for inspiring me. Jim Milner, for all his hard work. Ben Milner, for being the light side of the darkness. Jack, J.K., Jake and Jesse Terrell. Fydor Dostoevsky. Don Gilmore. Danny Lohner. Tony Lavato, my first mate. James Diener, for that fat dollar ! ! Asia, for being so beautiful. Lauren Byrnes. Ann Murray. Steve Busch. Greg Ladanyi. “Biscuits”. Glendon Crain. The Mothers and Fathers of all the members of HU for all their support. The Mothers and Fathers of all the members of HU for all their support. ……...and much love to all our fans for the support.

Charlie Scene:

Jack Terrell, for teaching me everything I know, I love you Dad, To my Mom J.K. Terrell, don’t worry, I love you just as much. My funny Brother Jake and big ups to my Big Bro Jesse, raise yer hands if you hear me. Thanks to the rest of my family in Ohio and Florida. To all my friends. To my Managers, Jeff Peters, me mate and me manager, all together me mate-ager, and Mike Renault, both you guys are an unstoppable force. James Diener. Tom Anderson, my dick has more friends than you ever will. Ed Alexander. Don Gilmore. Danny Lohner, the porn star fucker. Shady Fizz, you know where you at dog. My 3 blonde buddies, Graham Noll, Sean Noll and Jared. Daniel “da big homie” Dingman. Jeremy Martiniano, for getting “lost” with me every Thursday. Tommy “T-head” Scribner, a.k.a Contagious. Gangster George, for always havin’ my back. Bully Shaun. Aaron Gfarm. Upright Radio. Lucas Macauley. The Milner Brothers. Nigel Smithwick, see ya at the pub. Brad Pitt, for letting me crash on the couch. The Hideaway Bar, where I go to hide away from Da Kurlzz. Debra Lee and the trigger happy. Joel Bennett. Jer Bear. Gsellman. Shadow Skillz. Sky, Glen “Biscuits” Crain , Drew Young, Jared Miller…...and to my glock, cause my glock is my hoe and my hoe go everywhere I go……..and of course, thanks to all the UNDEAD ARMY.

Funny Man:

I’d like to give a big thanks to my Madre Joanne, Paco, my Father, and my lil’ sis Mingo. To my Grandparents and the rest of my family, for the love, support and always being there for me, and being a huge impact on my life. Jeff Peters, for sticking his neck out for us and making this shit happen. If it wasn’t for you and Mike Renault, “we’d be wondering these streets so aimlessly”.

For all my homies, Big Badass T-HEAD, thanks for all the nugs bro. Snake The Coin Collecta and 3-B. Big E. SAUS MAN. Thug Life George. Felipe. Spazz Money. Gavin. Jesse. Cmar. Titts. Stanley. Shady Fizz. Dirty Jack. BULLY. Science. Big Worm. Cory The Champ, Obar and Big Luke Duke. A big shout out to everyone at A&M/Octane Records. Jimmy, thanks for the I-Pod. That lil’ monkey Dez, and that beautiful Latina Ann. The Snooge Bros. Danny “The Lone Machine” Lohner. Don G and his bitch ass crew. Glen a.k.a “Biscuits” , Lil’ Tony, Donland from Stonehurst Park, Ritchie Stites, Sleepy Brown, Bones. Thanks to G-STAR for making me look so damn good, And the Bitches with the big ol’ butts. . .and last but not least to the UNDEAD ARMY, this is for you, stay Undead, uno, dos, Ghost……..I’m Gone.

Da Kurlzz:

My Dad a.k.a. “The Frenchman”, My Mom, I thank you both for your love and support.

Jeff Peters & Mike Renault, for being there for me through all the crappy ups & downs, honestly the best managers I could ever have. My Sister and the rest of the Family, BEAR (RIP) ! ! ! Conner “CADE” Garrity, my best buddy @ Studio City Tattoo. Lemmer. Des & Ann, Glenn. Eric “FSUsXe” Curry. Erik “FSUsXe” Scandalous. BAJOS. Scott K. Tdogg. Murph. Lauren Byrnes @ LA PRIDE. Chris & PTW. BERM. Ms. Lupi. Bojesse Christopher. Ben & Jim Milner. Mark V, Sam and everyone @ Safari Sam’s. Steve Busch. All my good friends that have stuck around the past three years, who have been there and supported me (a small amount), the rest can fuck off ! ! Our fans the UNDEAD ARMY, you know this band only happened because of you. I love you. Tom Anderson, thanks for buying me smokes that one time. All the Girls that wasted their time with me. Last …...but most important of all, my five Brothers, Johnny, J, Deuce, Charles P. and Funny, for not only being my best friends, but amazingly talented fucks as well. I love you guys…...Now let’s fuckin’ party ! !

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cnc-hoebayb · 6 years ago

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So baby let my heartbeat be, the rhythm that puts you to sleep...

Wrote half of this in like a drunken rage the other night to vent, so don’t feel obligated to read lol i just need to get it off my chest..

Shoutout to my girls for being there for me while I’ve been going through it @imabasicqueen @la-saffron @quisieracnco ily

Also i love all you guys too

Bodies pass by like speeding cars. Your eyes dart along the scenery, trying desperately to focus on something- anything to keep you grounded at the moment. Your legs feel weak and wobbly and it seems like you could collapse at any given time.

The alcohol in your system only assists the intensity and everything is hectic. You wanna cry and scream and sleep, but your body can’t process. But it is taking in one thing. It’s a hand at your shoulder, the grip and familiarity snaps you back. “Hey..” the sound buzzes through your foggy mind and maybe you’re ignoring everything entirely, but you barely hear it until the voice matches with the face.

“Hey, you good?” Joel locks eyes with you, sensing immediately the distraught within. No words come out of you, there’s almost no energy to even want to speak. “What happened dude, what’s wrong,” he pries at you, focusing your glance up to him every time you tried to look away. His insistence breaks you, looking up at him with so much embarrassment and tears filling your eyes

“Whoa whoa, you’re okay.” He comforts in an instant, already wrapping his arms around your wobbly intoxicated body, and leading you out the crowded party. “Let’s go.” He drapes his jacket over your body and helps buckle you in the passenger seat. Tears drop onto your lap, a slow, quiet sob working up in your system. Joel already knows.

“Was it... Alejandro?...” he questions hesitantly from behind the wheel. Your heart skips a beat at the pain, still fresh and raw. The sobbing grows a little too much and you shake your head. “I’m such an idiot, Joel I’m sorry. I wasted your time,” the image of the man that seduced you danced in your head. You see yourself wrapped in his arms as you and Joel entered the party. It fades and you realize Joel’s talking.

“You didn’t deserve that,” he says. “I’m not mad, you didn’t waste my time at all.” He reaches over to pat your leg soothingly, radiating that brotherly protection he always had. “I’m glad i was there-“ he continues and before you know it, you’re at the hotel. “I knew i couldn’t trust him.” That sentence hits you and if it were possible to cry any harder, you’d be doing it by now.

The walk up to your hotel room is a blur, a mix of tears and makeup slide down your cheeks as Joel guides you inside. He sits you on the bed and talks you through it, but it’s going nowhere. Sobs grow more into anger- tears drying slightly and your tone of voice more threatening. “FucK hIM” you almost growl, and it sets Joel back a little.

“He used me this whole time,” you start to yell and your fists clench into tight balls. “T/N calm down it’s ok,” he desperately attempts to relax you to no success. He gets up and walks to the door with intent. “Gimme a minute i know who you need,” he zooms out and you grab a pillow with fury, screaming into the plush material. The night flashes back to you again.

This time it’s his hand on your waist, lips on your ear as he’s pouring you yet another drink. You giggle and he urges you to drink. “Be right back, baby girl. Wait for me k...” his voice rings in your ears and there’s so much more anger.

You throw the pillow across the room and slam your back onto the bed, hands buried in your face. Someone enters the room cautiously, and without thinking you lash out. “GeT OUT” you dart up and grab another pillow almost as to attack, but his strong tattooed hand grabs your wrist. “Richard, let me go!” You claw at his fingers and start moving away from him.

“Tranquila, whats wrong luv” his strong brow furrows in all seriousness, concern turning into something more. Your face is bright red with rage, your hair a tangled mess from running your frustrated hands through it over and over. Richard grabs your wrists and notices your still clenched fists. “Aight, i can see you’re goin through something. You need to talk it out?” Your jaw tightens and there’s nothing more you want than to vent- no not vent, yell.

“I’m just so angry,” your shaky voice starts up again, an underlying wave of tears ready to pour. “Ok then scream.” He says and you’re caught off guard. “I know what it’s like, and i know sometimes all you need is to scream and hit something and just let it out.” He grabs another pillow from behind you and places it in front of his chest like a target.

“So go at it,” he motions for you to hit the pillow in front of him and gives you a look that shows he’s there.

You hit the cushion softly the first time, testing it out with little sniffles. “I wasted so much time,” you start to let out, hitting the pillow again. “He was using me,” Richard pushes the pillow into your next blow, bouncing your force off of it. “How could i not know?” Your fists work faster and sloppily.

“He got me wasted so i couldn’t even notice,” angry tears well up unintentionally, all emotions being thrown on the table. You see Richards face harden at that comment and you keep going. “What were his intentions? Why would he make such an effort just to screw me over like this??” Your hands droop, throat a bit sore from the yelling already and Richard drops the cushion.

“He played me so hard, Richard. I feel so disgusting.” The topic feels too embarrassing, but the words keep flowing. “He told me things he knew would pull me in more. I can still feel his touch and it makes me want to jump out of my skin..” Thats all it takes. In a second, he’s jumping off the bed, his shoulders puffed up and face full of the same anger you had.

“That fucker,” he pulls out his phone and is already planning his fastest route to end this dude. “Can’t just treat you like that,” you pounce up to calm him now, knowing Richard was a man of action. “I swear to god he’ll never touch you again- I’m gonna make him wish he never laid a hand on you.” You wrap your arms around him, calming him now turning into what you needed the most at the moment.

“Richard it’s fine,” he drops his phone and chills out, letting your arms tighten around his waist. “It’s not, tho. No man should be allowed to do this scum shit” he engulfs you in a tight embrace, letting you bury your wet face in his warm chest for what feels like forever. He pulls away and kisses your forehead. “Don’t let anyone let you feel like you’re worth less than what you are..”

“Because you’rs so important to me, and if anything happened to you, I’d have to fight a homie on sight,” you laugh and sit back down on the messy bed. “I think maybe you need time to calm down now, Richuki”, the sheets and beneath you are ruffled from your angry fit, and you smooth them over with your hands. “Maybe you’re right.” He says and shakes off his frustration. “Hang tight luv I’ll be back”

He closes the door behind him, leaving you alone once again in the big hotel room. You lay on your side, fidgeting with the strings on your hoodie. A moment passes and the door opens followed by a little knock. Not wanting to lift your head up, you mutter out a little “hey..” and continue to stare absent mindedly in the distance. It was probably just Richard done cooling off.

A body sits at the foot of the bed, tickling your foot as it hung off the side. Not Richard. “Erick, qué haces papi? Why you here,” without looking at him you talk, not wanting him to see you looking like a mess. “Thought you’d need a mood lightener,” he says innocently and you almost feel bad for being so distraught right now. He doesn’t need to deal with this, he’s just a kid still. “Estoy bien, go back to your room Erick.”

“No,” he argues and you should’ve expected that, he was a persistent one. “No necesitas decirme nada, solo quiero estar contigo.” It’s silent as you don’t have the energy to argue back. Just laying there, Erick by your side quiet. But It doesn’t last long before he finally starts talking. Reminding you of the time you both scared Chris in the middle of the night by hiding in the kitchen pantry. Your heart feels light at the memory, that good point in your life, the people...

Little drops of salty tears slow and you wipe the last few with your sleeve to laugh with him. “He almost peed himself,” you finally pitch in to the story breaking your silence. “Sientes mejor?” He questions and lays next to you. You nod solemnly, not lying, but not telling the entire truth either. “Thank you Erick,” he grabs your hand in his and squeezes. “No sé que está pasando...pero estoy aqui para ti. Por siempre ok” he looks you dead in the eyes and you see the sincerity.

“Now go shower, you look pretty rough” he jokes and you punch his arm as he hops off the bed. Leaving you back to square one with a slightly lighter mood than before. The door closes and deciding to take his advice and shower off the night, you make your way into the bathroom. The hot water scorches tender skin and the tension starts to break down. Your mind drifts on and off about the night, invasive thoughts digging their way in one by one.

The ghost of his fingertips brush your skin and you want to wipe yourself clean of him. The images that manifest takw over, and you rush out of the shower in attempt to outrun them. With soaking hair and loose towel draped around you, you step out into the other room once again and are greeted with a soft smile. “Im guessing you’re all taking shifts with me now?” You joke and the big teddy bear in front of you smiles nervously. “Kinda yea,” his eyes dart away at the sight of you in just a towel and you act quick.

“Sorry I didn’t know you’d come out undressed,” he says shyly and you grab your robe. You wrap yourself in the thick material, throwing on a quick pair of shorts underneath. “Okay Zabdi, coast is clear.” He looks back up cautiously as you sit next to him, noticing the small ukulele in his grips. “Musical therapy,” he shrugs and you lay your head on his shoulder. “Can you play-“ he cuts you off and hands over the small instrument. “Nonono, you’re playing. It’ll distract you, i know how in the element you get when you play.”

Part of you wants to hesitate, but the moment fingers hit the strings something takes off in you. The sound rings in your bones and you’re lost in the strumming pattern, closing your eyes and letting it take over completely. The world fades away and the moment your eyes flutter open, it feels different. “That was beautiful,” Zabdi comments at the improv work and adds a signature compliment like always, “just like you.”

You don’t wanna protest but it hits you like a train. “Don’t call me that.” The wooden figure slips from your arms onto the bed, all insecurity flooding back. He’s shocked and confused, not sure how to react. “Now im not sure all that happened tonight. All i know is what Richard was heated about, and what Joel won’t tell, but...” he shakes his head and runs fingers through his hair stressed. “I don’t like what it’s doing to you.”

A pout falls over your face, not sure if it’s ready to cry or not. “I’m just not beautiful Zabdiel okay.” You wanna tell him so bad about it all, to tell him how much it hurts and how desperately you believed in someone’s lies. Because he’d know exactly what to say. He’d hug you tightly and never let go, tell you that that boy was never worth it. And that everything would be ok. But it’s not for him, and only small details come out. “I see all these girls who are so much better than me in every way. They’re beautiful and deserve the world and all the love they can have....”

His expression drops- shocked to see you in such a vulnerable state. “That’s just not me Zabdi. And i don’t know why, but i just can’t have the same.” He watches and roams his mind for something to say. You don’t want him to feel like he needs to pitch in, but that’s just the way he was.

“No me digas cosas así,” is the first thing out of his mouth. “You have just the same right as those other girls to have the world and so much more. You just can’t see it.” He’s scolding you, and it’s so odd to see this side of him. “You are beautiful and there’s nothing and nobody- especialmente un pendejo como Alejandro that should make you feel any different.” You cringe at the mention of his name and look away. “Mira, T/N. You’re the most beautiful person i know, inside and out,” He wipes a stray tear away.

“And this dude doesn’t deserve the satisfaction of defeating you. He’s not what’s going to bring you down-“ your heads snap up as the door opens one last time suddenly. A tall figure peeks in and your heart flips for the millionth time. “Chris,” your voice waivers and Zabdiel stands up. “Can I?” Chris pats Zabdi on the shoulder and gestures towards you. No doubt in his mind that he was leaving you in the best care. He ends it there, and with a solemn nod, Zabdiel gives you a strong hug and says one more thing before stepping out. “See you tomorrow- don’t forget anything that i told you.”

Chris waits for the door to close behind him and locks it, walking back over to you slowly. You shiver in your place, from both nerves and emotions, but also the slight breeze that came through once the door shut. “Take this,” he jumps into action, removing his big tour hoodie from his body and tossing it over. He looks away as you throw it on, giving him a little “ok” to turn around once you were finally fully dressed. You push back your damp hair into the hood and bundle up in a tight seated ball.

He sits next to you and before anything is said, he pulls you into his arms. He squeezes with all his strength, letting you fall apart one last time beneath him. His hand was firm behind your head, brushing your hair as you pushed further into his chest. “Chris i feel so stupid,” you admit and he shushes you like you would a baby, patting your back and whispering “it’s ok, you’re ok.”

“But im not,” and for the first time tonight it’s all on the table. “I was naive. I let him use me, let myself believe i was special, that i was lovable.” He brings you out of his chest, holding either side of your shoulders and watched into what felt like your soul as you pour it out. “I was there, and he was holding me, wooing me with lies. He called me his- told me i was worth something. And i bought it.” His fingers brushed by your cheeks and wiped away wetness there.

“I watched him do it all too. Because he kissed me. He kissed me and not even a second after he walked to her- to all of them. Feeding off their attention, lost in their beauty. He left me vulnerable and had no ounce of worry either. Not even when his friend started getting touchy- forceful.” You swallow your embarrassment of retelling the events and finish. “He had already gotten what he wanted from me so long ago. So why did he make such an effort for me to be there tonight??? Was it because i was his pawn? To flaunt me, kiss and touch me to make the others jealous. Or was i the last resort? For him to get me trashed and save me for latwr when all his other girls didn’t follow through.”

His eyes were sad, understanding and taking in all the details. “I could’ve been really hurt. But he didn’t even care. Joel was my savior tonight, if he hadn’t been there to see it all and bring me home... i don’t know what would’ve happened.” Chris sighs heavily and his look is the same amount of distraught as you. “I can’t think about that.” He growls with the same intensity Richard had earlier. “I literally can’t afford to think of that. I don’t know what I’d do if something were to happen to you and i could’ve stopped it.”

“But thats not your fault,” you add on. “I was so dumb to not tell you about tonight. I knew you never trusted him from the beginning and i felt beyond guilty.” You look down at your hands in shame. “I’m such a screw up, and I’m so sorry Chris. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I’m so unlovable...” his hands grab your face and focus your attention on him. “Your decisions and mistakes don’t define you, amor. The point is that you’re safe, and you’re here with me right now.” Thumbs brush over your features and instead of that sad look that worried you earlier, he’s smiling.

“And none of that is true,” he bites his lip habitually. “Because i love you. I love you more than you could ever even imagine.” Your mind wants you to believe it’s a lie, but you know Chris, and somehow this is real. “And this shit is killing me to even watch, if i didn’t know any better I’d already be up and kicking this dudes ass for ever touching you.” He laughs through his seriousness and you reciprocate. “Yea, you and everyone else too,” you add on referring to previous reactions from the boys.

“You think you’re not worth anything, but it’s not true. To me you’re everything. I see you and my world lights up, no matter what.” It’s a confession, but it’s not asking for anything in return. He knows you’re hurt and wouldn’t want to take advantage of it. It’s what you need to hear, though. “This will all pass. You never have to speak to that guy again, shit I’ll never give him the chance. You’re stronger than you think, and you’re smart.” You sniffle up the last of your emotions and stare up at him.

“And after it all passes I’m here,” he says. “And I’ll wait for you for as long as it takes.” You crash into his arms once again, every feeling at an all time high. “I love you too, Chris.” He lets out a breath of relief at that statement and hugs tighter. Your exhausted body droops in his grasp and he lets go, leaning up against the bed frame as you lay down with your head in his lap. “Please stay-“ you whisper and he rubs circles on your back.

“Leaving was never in my brain. I’m here for as long as you need me.” You close your eyes and he reaches for something across the bed. Zabdiel must have left his ukulele for you, because the sudden soft noise of plucking strings radiates through the room. He strums up a slow tune and you recognize it from the first chord- your favorite.

He hums along quietly and you feel yourself dozing off. The pain eases and it feels like they might’ve all saved you from spiraling any further down. It didn’t have to be instantly, or even completely, but you knew you were going to be fine. It wasn’t for yourself any more either, now it was for them too. You weren’t ready to give up on them yet, and you’re damn right they were not gonna give up on you any time soon.

#hey guys ily all #a lil dramatic but #if you EVER need someone to talk to pls hmu #and im no expert obvio #but if ur havin boy troubles and its scaring u PLEASE say something #im here for u guys

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