#joe was so mean sometimes
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Jello Biafra in an interview with Westword (2013)
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has happened plenty around iconis goings on but what an all-timer
#joe iconis christmas extravaganza#13th annual xmas#do i mean being floored like oh even to hear of it; do i mean that it happened; do i mean that joe iconis shared the whole scene asap? Yea#on this Wow They Made The Day From The Christmas Show Into A Thing day & being reminded of this like let's get that kleinsen moodboard cut#semi accuracy generally around like the Joeuvre Iconisography Works Will Surprise / Do Unexpected Things#but sometimes i can go in with whatever details make me suspect i'll have an Extra great time & be so very correct#& sometimes i can be like please won't someone post the krampusfucking & here's joe himself like you rang. Yes#& that was the sexiest thing of all....the comedic krampusfucking bico but shoutout to saving the day w/clips of your own show you put on#i may be rushing things but. post the scenes again Now#also i will deftly say the xmas show in general b/c if it's not a gift that keeps on giving & also unstoppable & just so [hrraaaughhrrhg]#chaotic accurate pov baby please come home snow throwing clip ;o;#& when i tell you bsol & xmas are dancing cheek to cheek it's also the indirect like pointing ohh i know you w/the voice & the smile#skeleton is krampus is jeremy morse is from bsol which i've been thinking of getting around to for years but that's how it is w/anything#New Media a whole thing & indeed might be that slow getting on it even if i intend to. well already i'd been thinking about it again like#hmm humm....the kinda scarcity of info like something to latch on to would help. & spaghetti western hero needs to rescue his wife as#most the info known isn't very latchy like well godspeed; & even figuring yknow w/an iconis work a solid time ft any fun is guaranteed#so when i've Been like hmm yeah perhaps bsol time soon but then going like ah so i'll probably have a High Time w/the villain at least huh#felt it coming on Exponentially in a [momentum on your side] way like intrigue & frequency of Hmming about it#then had a great time like adhd be damned i sat there & did Nothing while listening to that audio & only paused for like bathroom/drinks#had a great time & ever since have been intermittently saying things to the room enthusiastically / with Niche Inspiration#to no one's surprise....so i'm also delighted if the brief little [majorest & minorest villain] doubled role influenced xmas krampus lol#now there's some trivia & a loop of funny little guys. & once again like for in the iconisography? if you had a nickel....#plus yknow w/the xmas show Overall like i was saying w/Kinda knowing abt it in time for the '19 12th annual show like wough....#we do need a little christmas extravaganza before my spirit falls again (surprising amount of post bmc malaise) & i'm curious#smthing to latch on to there for sure like ah villain wrole how fun? then like i said w/some Glimpses like oh the chestnut medley Energy#in that urgent choreography urgent harmonizing lmao i was so delighted like the beginning of catching onto the degree of playfulness#only the beginning; was still in that process when in the middle of its off years i was like lemme dig into this as Archive/Research#& now here we are & i'm having a high time w/any glimpses past & present (gonna be a minute re: future) celebrate christmac & cheese#even rewatching this video to get this screenshot for the hundredth time snort laughed buhYoot iful what's yuour hurraayy(ah)
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Opinion on power joe 🎤
I think Power Joe is STUPID and SMELLY and is definitely the more annoying one. Not fun to combine with either! And he doesn't even wash his hands after he has his oil changed-
#asks#anonymous#drillboy get off my computer u got dorito fingers all over my keyboard#GENUINE power joe opinion though. oh hes so fun n silly. what a guy. absolutely love his episode with lua too tbh#i guess this is more an opinion on that ep but how his team chose to respect his delusion as well as him loving past looks or even if-#-lua was sentient or not that he still loved her in the end. augh#himbo reclaiming arc. let him n lua be together!!!! bpjd why u gotta hurt us like this#ah anyway back on pj. however despite his sillies and handsome design i think he was too mean to db sometimes.#dweeboy biases aside even!! no yelling at him for not picking up on conversation tones!#back again with the whole answer in the tags lets goooo
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Okay. Phew. Usually I try to find at least one nice thing about a character because it's only fair that I try and see things from their perspective, right?
But the nicest thing I can possibly say about Ming is that I wish he'd ordain for a year or twenty so he can gain some metta. 🙏
#jane watches stuff#my stand in#msi negativity#to be fair sol should probably also go on a long holiday to gain some perspective 🥴#i need all of these people to stop trying to make decisions for joe#that being said#this whole crematorium trope is so off-putting to me#somebody pls explain its appeal to me#because all i see is how ming is stalkerish and mean and controlling and constantly crossing the line#remember how love area ended with the conclusion that sometimes love isn't enough?#i wish they'd go the same route here
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my biggest dissonance is how robert de niro in once upon a time in america actually looks like young carlo (but more handsome than carlo) but noodles character is nothing like him like max is a certifed carlo core. he would do everything max did
#noodles is eddie core. such a dissonance#anyway. another reason i crave moretti dlc is that all these young guys ardnt supposed to be handsome#no more handsome young mafiosos. and they would also be morally ugly. i crave it sm#good sees im so attached to higher ranks characters in m2 is bc theyre way#more relatable. god please. i live in a godawful country everyone here turn cursed at early age#and bout character design. id give some of them monobows at least not full ok#n tanned skin. some characters look like my armenian relatives im sorry. and ik that#it & arm ppl sometimes look very alike and i mean#luca frank carlo eddie rocco - just on top of my head#my roman empire is when i did character design for don henry fic carlo supposed to have#a full mononrow#but i was a chicken shit (i still am). if i wasnt he would have it & eddie had more tanned skin#but ok hes from canada he'll be pale makes sense. but still i need more of them#to look more like southerns like. pretty please? ok lemme remake at least#carlo n roccos designs please. if i was a strong person id redraw morettis design too#but idk. i think yeah its logical for him too look more like torrio#anyway. i believe half of m2 & mde characters should be thicker im sorry theyre italian#and they also rich. theyre rich italians. why r they so thin.#have u seen al capone. ok sorry. ik that i also draw them pretty thin but its bc im a chicken shit#anyway my conclusion i need moretti dlc so bad god. so funny that itll never happen#bout chicken shit ik that lauretta shouldnt be super thin either esp after marriage#& ok if we ever we'll see henrys mother & shell be thin id start to howl sorry#she mothered for 7 times she cant be thin#if we ever will* dont mind me im stupid#atp my fav m2 designs r frank carlo n joe. n also luca#<- if to speak only bout italian characters. but m2 in general have good ch. design#i remember that one beef bout fat bald italians. didnt say anything back then bc i was too lazy#but im on the side of fat balding italians. did u forget that italians have like. strong food culture#+ alcohol w food. mostly they arent supposed to be thin like just logically sorry get real#upd. derek is a peak character design to me. hes very vivid + completely bonds w his character. hes a cool ch. in general
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me whenever there's updates of You s5
#i mean i guess sometimes im morbidly curious but more than that im just so upset#ngl its hard for me to just rewatch part 2 of s4 at all#fuck canon#im making my own universe where rhys is real and he and joe are murder husbands#also my god kate annoys me sm she is rude af and bland#i cant understand why joe was even drawn to her when literally ALL she did was fucking insult and avoid him#anyway i could go on and on#you netflix#goldrose
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I could have been better on how I've been handling my business in my preseason. You know, I could lock in more on my details and, like I said, the things that I did wrong. But it's all about how you handle it you know, it's all about what it means to you. And I feel like I need to do a better job of showing how much this means to me.
#jermaine burton#i've been so curious because he's so so talented#but when reporters would ask joe about the new receivers he never mentioned jermaine??#when troy gets interviewed all he says about jermaine is that he needs to get in his playbook#zac says similar things#he wasn't getting put in preseason games until late each game#(and he would perform well! he had the most yards out of anyone on the team! and 2 TDs!)#but then in practice he's stuck practicing with the 3's sometimes the 2's#this was the fear! he's gotta get his head on straight!!#hopefully this is a good lesson??#like i mean the attitude issues could be much worse given what we were warned about lol#i'm sure he's one of those guys who has so much talent that he hasn't really had to put the work in before#so he's probably just adjusting to that??#very interesting!#(and if he's sleeping in meetings!! oh that would piss joe off so much i know!)
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geez i was really going through it in 2022....
#i still. kind of am. but like. damn.#i was really. really. not there mentally.#i'm still not really#but i mean. like i was having so many scary delusions & strange thoughts & all sorts of stuff#it's so weird to look back on. i was so cryptic & weird.#i still. sort of am that too sometimes i guess.#i dunno. i just. stuff happened & it kinda brought me back into that mindset for a while (still recovering from it)#kinda had a breakdown over.......thiiiinngggsss going on with a. specific fandom i'm in (& was super into during that era of my life)#& it has me sort of reminiscing about all that.#yeah ok i'm just gonna say it this is about tally hall. don't ask me about the drama i'm not gonna get into detail about it.#i still will listen to joe's music because it's very special to me. that's all i'll say about this for now.#should delete later but idk#tommy tells tales#kind of a vent maybe?? i don't really see it that way
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also "textless" versions of these, wahooo
#corned beef#joe iconis christmas extravaganza#bsol#speaking of >:3 & >:3 third time's the >:3 in successfully slammed both up against the window of joe iconis's car (twitter @'d & Seen)#which is really just a :3 but whom among us (orchestra hit) is not a little impish with it#first year i did fanart like wouldn't it be fun if joe saw & liked this. second yr like Same plus it did happen last time#then also recency Fun Times bias sure but he did make it a frame in his End Of Year Good Times Celebration video like >:'3#yes i draw exactly what i wanna draw b/c it's some specific thing i enjoy that much so Yep that is the xmas show to me#so powerfully i was moved like ooh fun xmas villain wrole?? in '19 when i was paying attention & relieved of some bmc closure malaise#by the xmas show but obv Least aware / knowledgable lol. technically showed up in '18 around nov/dec but no chance Right then of tuning in#i mean i had the capacity but did not know it existed / even Less helpful preexisting context. anyway so by the time the show returns#& i've done research in between & gone my god i am i live laugh loving like Yeah i'll do more fanart & omg cyril & omg krampusfucking#able to ramp it up this year & like just thanks to Drawing Experience i'm better at forging ahead through thee process even when it's#extra ambitious like my god am i in over my head? well keep swimming for the surface like only several times going [aaa....] only to yknow#not be that tripped up anyway but still go [(celebrate) christmas!!! (with me)] & be like Do It For The Krampusfucking Gift#one post for another like lighting up my life joe just coming out like ''who wants clips. first up Full Cyril Fucks The Krampus number''#like jeez made that happen And passed it along....it's always the like epitome of my art like i make the specific often really niche stuff#i really respond to; does anyone else enjoy this? if yes; Wheeee; sometimes this is also ppl Behind the really niche shit i enjoy#like i truly hope you do get that kick out of it as i slam it up to the window; worth a Highlight Of Your Year or not#the power of [i do like to Draw the things i latch on to] + [internet] for you#really the bsol design even More an event in ''how did i even do this'' b/c even when planning to make it slightly easier like well#fewer figures; i'll use ink pen so i hone the lineart less than i would to precisely get [line weight mostly irrelevant] Line Geometry#yet still going ruh oh i'm honing for sure. but then like did Most of the lineart all in one night + all the coloring the next round#when i draw quite slowly / the Honing is virtually always an inextricable part of my process like i do Nothing in less than Hours#like i think even my freewheeling bsol sketches posted just this morning took me at Least an hour; judging by vids i played in the bg lol#not quite calibrated to have Attuned Confidence In My Ability To Forge Ahead thusly like oh no if i don't have Momentum or it doesn't#happen to be one of those times things just spontaneously come out great right off without more honing / consideration we're fucked....#not actually the case but yknow still realizing this lol But still able to just pat myself on the shoulder like It's Manageable & it is/was
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Match Game Syndicated Episode 262
Fannie, in a warbly, tear-streaked voice, to Pretty Girl Betty Kennedy:
I was just sitting here thinking: When I was young and pretty, I used to sit in that seat. I used to wear red dresses, get attention. Now I’m pushed down here. Pretty soon I’ll be in the audience.
Me, playing along at home: Girl, quit lying 😂. Number one, when you were in the Pretty Girl seat (for like three weeks before you were promoted to Weird Girl), never did you ever wear anything remotely sexy. Number two, thirty seconds ago the cameraman decided to shoot you just sitting there doing nothing so America could appreciate your perfect jawline and cheekbones. Number three, you are absolutely Match Game’s Mae West and not only do you very well know it but also nobody’s trying to make you forget it. 😂
#this Betty Kennedy Pretty Girl week has me confused#Brett and Fannie seem to be good naturedly bullying her about how much male attention she gets#but I can’t tell whether she’s in on the joke or whether she’s genuinely uncomfortable#when Brett and Fannie wear the blonde wigs and Betty and Fannie switch seats…#are they being actually mean or are they just doing a bit?#I tend to give them the benefit of the doubt but sometimes Betty Kennedy does seem really put out#I don’t think she’s all that attractive and I find her annoying but if they’re being mean to her just because she’s young and conventionally#(?) pretty and so she gets a lot of attention I can’t truck with it#I don’t think this is the case. I think it’s a bit taken a little too far. but still a little yucky to me#although hilarious at points. Fannie vamping in her blonde wig I’ve always been big it’s the pictures that have gone small moment 😂#just. so weird to me that they’re all weird about this particular Pretty Girl#like… I guess your average Joe blow straight man might prefer her? but what average straight man watches match game?#it’s a daytime program! the straight dude demographic is gonna be retirees shift workers and college students!#and retirees and shift workers are almost always team Brett or team Fannie! Betty Kennedy is not significant competition statistically!#not to mention a lot of match game fans are weirdos anyway. like the baby dude whose 1 wish in life was to kiss 40 year old Mary ann Mobley#idk man I just dk my official postion is that it’s all in good fun but it doesn’t always land#like the Brett somers interview where she said something like ‘Fannie and I went down to the costume department#and got a bunch of crazy stuff and made a grand entrance and we thought it was hilarious but the audience hated it.’#match game#fannie flagg#pretty soon I’ll be in the audience is an objectively very funny line though lbr#Brett and Fannie have acted jealous of the pretty girl before but it was always with someone they very obviously really liked.#happens with Barbara Rhoades a lot and she and fannie are always talking to each other across the way and conferencing on answers#and Brett’s always telling her to hurry up hon the way she does the girls she likes#that’s why this Betty Kennedy week is flummoxing because if the Pretty Girl is lame they usually just leave her alone#and then she comes back to fill in for Brett? instead of putting Fannie or Phyllis diller up there? and there’s very little banter? idk!#what was going on behind the scenes of this show?!
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Hiding some to lay about some without my mask on. Before I must return to my family and wear a mask. Also fuck you WHO for that fucking dogshit “it’s not an emergency anymore it’s a crisis and you shouldn’t change any of your behavior” announcement bc now everyone’s like COVID’s over they said it’s not an emergency why are you wearing a mask.
#like they’ve left me be for the most part after I explained thst like that announcement doesn’t mean all it says it does but now my parents#aren’t wearing masks anymore when they go out#they used to#they wore surgical ones only but that was still soemthing now they think I’m just overly cautious and idk how to convince them my mom had#Alzheimer’s I don’t want her to get Covid again. like that would be so bad for her!!#also my dad is the care giver for my mother and my grandmother both who have a form of dementia he. like luckily he had Covid and mostly#fine but I’m so scared#and bc stupid Joe Biden Covid is over they. think it’s over which makes since the government told them it is but pls pls!! I don’t want them#to get sick they are already have so many health issues#all I can do is do my part and bring masks tell them what I can and wear my mask and#my dad tries to not go out much#but they still go out sometimes bc staying inside all the time was making things worse for my mom but at least at least they try to be#outdoors I jsut ahhh
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foodstamps themselves are BASED, especially if you live in california. pls update your misconceptions about them, theyre not limited like they used to be! almost any grocery store outside of specialty stores uses EBT including fancyass places like wholefoods. some specialty stores do, but you have to ask before you go. i found out hmart takes EBT and its great, i get specialty korean groceries for free.
theres very few things you cant get. alcohol and hot food, but the hot food one is kinda fuzzy, sometimes things count and other times they dont. you kinda have to find out by buying it and seeing if it takes your card.
you CAN get snacks and chips and junk food, ice cream, desserts, ive gotten a whole ham, tri tip, a wholeass prime rib, etc.
if youre unemployed and disabled GET ON EBT NOW especially if youre in a richer state because you will have so much ebt that you will have extra and no idea what to do with it except treat yourself. i eat at trader joes and whole foods and hmart every month without running out of money most of the time. i am by no means living in luxury otherwise, but my food situation is GREAT and i live a little in excess ngl im grocery spoiled. theres a chance you too could get this.
dont delay. get on food stamps. NOW!
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By the power of testosterone injections and marijuana microdosing I managed to have a whole ethics debate with my older coworker and not cry the whole time. My voice only shook once even. I think it was a tie which is better than usual (I tend to lose debates bcos I get too emotional)
#me on 0.3 ml of testosterone and 1mg of marijuana: My Emotions Are Mine To Control. Anxiety? Not Anymore!#(im going to cry it out later at home but Joe didn't see it and that's what counts)#his opinions on disability and homelessness are rancid man. i told him to his face that he seems insensitive and unsympathetic#and that he hurt my feelings. he didn't seem affected by these statements#I told him coming to work hurts me and I do it because I have no choice. and he said he finds that inspiring. and I'm like????#i tried so hard to figure out what he even MEANS and couldn't figure it out dndjdndb#im like 'suffering inspires you?' and hes like 'no people pushing through their hardships inspires me' and im like 'but don't you think they#deserve help?' and hes like 'but they don't need it' and I'm just????????#it is inspiring to have to work twice as hard to only receive the same reward? and hes like 'its only like that if you let yourself be the#victim' SIR. SOMETIMES YOU ACTUALLY ARE THE VICTIM. SOMETIMES YOU CANNOT GOOD VIBES YOUR WAY OUT OF A SITUATION.#it just????? isn't inspiring to me to watch people suffer. I tried to explain it to him and he jusr didn't get it and I didn't get what he#meant either so oh well
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AITA for being proud of my job as a regional Nightmare?
My sister told me she’s making her own post and that if I was so sure I wasn’t TA then I should make my own so here I am.
I’m a regional Nightmare. I’m very proud of how hard I worked to get here. Not many terrors in their 20s get this high up and it’s because I do the work. I get up at 8pm and I’m out in the woods grinding out those quotas until dawn. Sometimes I sleep out there in my uniform just so I can be the first on scene for the multi-part jobs. I’m efficient, I’m punctual, and I’m committed. My goal is to be a Cyptid by the time I’m 30 and, to do that, I have to stay on at all times.
As a result, I work a lot. I’m often not home for days at a time. I have a very strict training regimen and my time for friends and family is virtually nonexistent. That’s why when I do get the time to hang out, I prefer to spend my time intentionally. What I mean by that is that I don’t want to sit on a couch when I could be lifting weights. I don’t want to chill in the pool when I could be volunteering for new scares. I especially don’t want to gossip over tea when I could be getting overtime.
Last Saturday, my sister invited a bunch of family over to her house. My job in the Virginia woods fell through, so I decided to go. Silly (her childhood nickname) said she had something important to tell the family so I thought it wouldn’t be a waste of my time.
Key word: thought.
When I got to Silly’s house, I was surprised to see so many cars out front. Our parents were there and our older brother. The house was packed. There were cousins, aunts, uncles and a ton of people I didn’t know.
At first the event was fine. Silly’s always been a good cook (see, I know you’re reading this, Silly, and see? I do compliment you when do something actually good) and everyone was really enjoying the flank steak (though I did have to save it before she cooked it medium well). But as the day wore on, I could tell people were getting bored. Silly and Mom were focused on cleaning up and said that dessert would have to wait until her fiance got home. Which was kind of rude to be late and I felt really bad for Silly. It seems like my soon to be brother-in-law (BIL for short) is never around when she needs him.
In an effort to help, I engaged some of the people I didn’t know in conversation because the party was getting a little dead and I didn’t want one of my sister’s parties to fail. I was trying hard not to think about the time I was wasting waiting for my future BIL so it also served as a distraction.
It turns out one of the guys was a fellow terror. He worked a corporate job and we talked for a while about the pros of being freelance like me. He asked me a lot of questions and I was happy to mentor another terror. Corporate can suck the art out of what we do. My clients only care if the quota for their mission is met and don’t enforce such strict timelines. They come to me for quality. Poor guy barely had time to mend his uniform between scares (his cloak was tattered and his hook hand was rusty) so I recommended my tailor and blacksmith.
The guy and I exchanged information. I gave him my business card and he looked for one of his. While he looked, I felt nature calling so I headed upstairs to use my sister’s bathroom (like hell I was going to use the same one as my Uncle Joe). From up there, I saw my future BIL pull into the driveway.
Being a regional Nightmare is a tough job. Like I said, I have to train a lot to keep my certification. So I thought it’d be a good idea to get a scare on my BIL both to punish him for being late and to make up for all the time I’d already wasted at the party.
So I waited for him to come upstairs to change and, when he did, I pulled out the works. I darkened the room and fell back into the shadows. Then, while he groped for the light switch, I stretched out my leg (I have an extra joint in them) and tried to nudge him. I honestly didn’t expect for him to trip and I DEFINITELY didn’t expect for him to fall backwards. I’ve been practicing this skill on my family since I was sixteen and got the leg extension mod and none of them ever fell like that.
My future BIL fell down the stairs. I panicked and raced over to look over the banister. He was fine! He wasn’t bleeding or anything and, when I saw that, I started to laugh.
Everyone freaked out though. They all said I was being immature and bullying my BIL. I told them it wasn’t bullying, it was my actual job. I said that I was just joking and didn’t know my BIL, a former “Cryptid”, would take it so hard.
My mom jumped in and backed me up, but my sister has always been the Queen of the castle. Silly and Dad kicked me out ( I mean, I let them, I’ve got enhanced strength and I didn’t want to hurt them). Dad called me a disgrace and to not come back home.
I asked him if he was really kicking me out just because I wanted to show off my skills a little? And he said yes. And Silly said I had it coming to me for a long time.
I don’t even know what went wrong.
So AITA for taking pride in my work?
---.
SillyCreeper says: Oh my god, you actually made this post? You’re an actual idiot. For anyone who believes this story, read mine before you vote. My brother left out a few details like how the party was my GENDER REVEAL PARTY and that he’s not a regional Nightmare, he’s a Slasher for hire.
OP replies: I am TRAINED to operate as a regional Nightmare. That makes me an independent regional Nightmare.
SillyCreeper replies: Regional Nightmares don’t steal failed missions from corporate Slashers
OP replies: Get your own post, Silly
SillyCreeper: Oh, I already did. Have fun being torn apart on yours, dumbass.
-----
Thanks for reading! If you'd like to read Silly's AITA post a week early, please consider becoming a patron (X)!
Aita for going no contact with my brother after he pulled a Scare on my husband?
I'm working on this anthology during November and I'm having a blast with this story in particular! The family drama keeps going on and on
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Like I Do (18+)
Summary: It had been a rough time for you since the Bengals season came to an end, it felt like nothing could go your way. Instead of letting Joe in, you shut him out. He takes his time showing you what you mean to him the best way he knows how.
Pairings: boyfriend!Joe Burrow x girlfriend!reader
Requested: Yes | No
Warnings: oral (female receiving), praise, dirty talk, feeling down, negative talk, definitely missing stuff so MDNI
Note: Hi! Surprise! This was something that came to mind and I just sat and busted it out while watching the games today. I do still have a texting fic coming out in the morning as planned, so take this as a bonus. I hope you all enjoy! (not proofread, apologies!)
Word Count: 3.2k
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You started the week, feeling like you could take on the world. You made a plan, things seemed to be going well enough at work, it was as if nothing could bring you down from your high. Except there was something and that feeling of invincibility didn’t last very long unfortunately. After the games on Sunday, you could feel it in Joe too. The tension in the household was prevalent, making it hard to keep up the peppy act when you weren’t feeling in very high spirits either. Sure, you were used to your mood sometimes feeling low, able to push through the week while you looked forward to the weekend. This week just felt particularly tough. Everything felt like an uphill battle, getting yourself out of bed, managing your workload with being back in the office, and keeping the house together. Joe had been busy himself with some meetings about changes to the team, putting in long days at the facility and drowning himself in workouts at the gym or film in his office. You knew this was typical for him, but with your current state it felt like the world was closing in around you.
As if the tension at home wasn’t enough, you had to hear it from your coworkers, the guys specifically, about the Bengals not making the playoffs. It was as if they knew exactly what they were doing, feigning for a rise out of you. The feeling of your skin heating everytime it comes up while trying to maintain your composure. You knew Joe tried his hardest to get them to even have a possible chance, realizing other people didn’t think the same way. Your social media was flooded too from “fans” making comments about how Joe could do better than you, he was too successful to be with “someone like you”. Making statements about how Joe didn’t need anyone holding him back, acting like they knew him and his best interests.
It wasn’t just what people said though, it felt like anything you wore didn’t suit you. You were usually a confident person, able to brush off any negativity that was thrown your way. Secure in your style, your personality, especially your relationship with Joe. He always made you feel like you were the only girl in the world. Recently, with him being gone as much as he was, it was easy to feel like he was doing it out of spite. Maybe he was reading the same things you were and was too much of a coward to admit it to your face. You knew deep down these thoughts weren’t true, but they were too loud to shut out. You were getting sick and tired of all of the outside noise. Instead of drowning it out like usual, you found it to be suffocating. It was pulling you into a spiral, one you haven’t felt in ages. You felt like you weren’t good enough, pretty enough, capable even.
There were times, when one thing could knock you down by the knees and make you feel weak. It would shut down some of your defenses, making you more susceptible to nitpicking and criticism. You knew what you signed up for when you started dating Joe, willing to persevere with whatever life would throw at you to be the person you loved. Everything else just felt so heavy that you started to believe some of the things they were saying. If everyone says he’s better off, I’ll make sure I’m out of his way.
You tried your best to throw yourself into your work, getting as head as you were able to distract yourself from your thoughts that were swirling. You stopped putting in as much effort to your clothes, wearing anything you could that wouldn’t bring attention to your frame. You stuck to your office, only being around your coworkers when you had to, which even then you tried your best to avoid at all costs.
As the week went on, Joe started to be around more which made him harder to avoid. Things were finally ironing out for a plan for the next season, making him more available and able to start enjoying his offseason with the person he loved. He knew he was being a jerk unintentionally, leaving early and coming home late to get things done. He knew he had a tendency for throwing himself into things and blocking out everything else, the repercussion being that you were caught in the crossfire. He never meant to hurt you, he was trying to do better and be better for you, more present even when it was hard. With the offseason starting, he knew he needed to make you a priority. The only problem was that it seemed like you were avoiding him.
Joe wanted to do better, show you how much he cared for you and everything you did for him. He knew he couldn’t make up for how he's acted or the lost time together, but he could start now by putting his best foot forward. Joe was able to see how much time and effort you put into making your house a home, wanting to do something nice back for you. He knew how much you loved his cooking, a rarity during the season due to his hectic schedule. He made a nice meal for you, cooked your favorite while he set the table with flowers and candles. He waited by the door for you to get home, feeling like an eternity before you finally walked through the door.
He took in your appearance, your clothing a lot baggier than you usually wore. You had dark circles under your eyes, your shoulders were dropped low and were visibly shrinking into yourself. His heart was cracking in two, not being able to shake the feeling like he was the one that did this to you. If he was around more, gave you more of his attention. He could only hope that thing would go up from here.
“Hi hunny, I made us some dinner. I hope you’re hungry, it’s your favorite,” Joe said, opening his arms to embrace you. You stepped into his arms, lightly wrapping your arms around his waist. It was nothing compared to your usual hug, feeling half-ass and resistant. Joe tried to shake it off, wondering if you were just tired.
“You okay?”
“Yeah, just a long day,” was all you said, letting him go and walking towards the table where Joe had everything set. You felt tears well up in your eyes, doing everything in your power to hold them back. You wouldn’t let him see you break down, not when you saw just how much effort he put into tonight. The inner voice in your head nagged at you, telling you that you didn’t deserve this, him. You tried your best to stifle it, to get through dinner so then you could take the time to be alone.
Dinner was mostly silent, your responses were short and sweet to any conversation he attempted to start with you. Joe was trying his hardest to pull you out of this funk you were in, bringing up anything and everything to get you to talk. You silently cleared the table, trying your best to stay out of Joe’s reach. You were aware of his attempts, but you were too absorbed in your negative spiral to truly see he was trying.
“I’m gonna go shower” you said quietly as you started to walk out of the kitchen.
“Can I join you?” Joe asked, hopeful to have some time to reconnect with you. He missed you, all of you.
“I’ll just take one myself, take some alone time” your voice slightly wavering at the direct confrontation, your eyes facing the floor not able to meet Joe’s gaze.
Joe wasn’t having any of it, always showering with you whenever he had the chance to. It was something you both enjoyed, treating it as a way to reconnect with one another at the end of the day. He could tell there was something off with you, having a feeling he knew part of what was happening. You were avoiding his touch, sleeping just out of his reach whenever you got too close.You were making sure to keep your distance, though it was painful to do it.
You were stopped short before you could fully leave the kitchen. You felt Joe’s large hand circle around your smaller wrist, stopping you in your tracks. His touch instantly brought you a sense of relief, you didn’t know how much you truly missed him.
“Come with me” Joe said, sliding his hand down to meet your hand while guiding you up the stairs to your shared bedroom. He didn’t let go of your hand until he stopped in front of your floor length mirror that was sitting in the corner of your shared bedroom. He lightly pulled you so that you were standing in front of him, letting him loom behind you, your height difference evident.
“Why am I in front of our mirror?” You questioned, looking at him through the reflection.
“Tell me what you see,” Joe said, looking straight ahead, his voice coming off low and firm.
You tilted your head to the side, confused “me and you?”
“No, tell me what you see when you look at yourself” he settled his hands on your hips, his grip tender as he stroked your hips gently with his thumbs creating goosebumps across your skin.
Your eyes caught his in the mirror, feeling more comfortable than holding your own stare.
“Don’t look at me, sweetheart, look at you. Tell me all the good things you see.”
It was hard to hold your own stare when you were wishing you could look anywhere else. Joe could read you like a book, could tell you were feeling off about yourself. He was always the first one to reassure you whenever he got the chance, this time you never gave him one. It seemed like he was taking matters into his own hands.
“But you’re so much nicer to look at” you said with a light laugh, but Joe wasn’t having any of it. His eyes told you everything you wanted to know and directed your gaze back to yourself, I’m not playing games.
“Umm, I like my eyes,” you said, sounding more like you were trying to convince yourself rather than tell Joe.
Joe lightly chuckled behind you. “Why?”
“I like how they change colors depending on what I’m wearing, I can always make them look nice whenever I do makeup.”
“So you like your eyes, how they change.” Joe moved his head so that he was resting his jaw against the top of yours, using you as a chin rest though his eyes never left yours. “Tell me what else.”
“I don’t want to come off like I’m bragging or anything, not like there’s much to-”
“Pointing out what makes you beautiful isn’t bragging, it’s stating facts. Though you could brag about it all you want, I wouldn’t be opposed.”
“I guess I like my hair, though I feel like it’s too short for my face since I got it cut.”
���I like it short, it makes it easy for me to see all the cute little faces you make or when I make you blush.”
Like clockwork, your cheeks immediately started to heat at his admission.
“My boobs could be bigger.”
“Your boobs are perfect, they fit just right in my hands,” he says as his hands slide up your front and rest on your chest. You feel his breath catch in his throat at his discovery. “No bra?”
You shook your head, meeting his eyes again in the mirror, “I have felt like putting one on to be honest, felt like extra effort.”
He dropped his hands to the hem of your sweatshirt, looking at you for permission to take it off. With a soft nod, he slipped the fabric over your head, leaving you shirtless and feigning for his touch to be back on your skin. Joe moaned at the sight of you topless, he always loved your tits.
“I want you to see what I see. A beautiful, sexy woman who I get to call mine. It’s not just your outer beauty either, you have so many other wonderful qualities about you that I fall harder for each and every day.”
Joe moved to be in front of the mirror, turning his body to face me. He gave me a mischievous wink before dropping to his knees in front of me.
“I’m gonna eat you out while you watch yourself in that mirror. You’re gonna see exactly what I get the pleasure of seeing every time I go down on you, every time I get you under me or riding me. The one catch is you have to keep your eyes there, if you stop then I stop. Got it, sweetheart?”
You couldn’t help, but laugh at the absurdity of the situation. It was truly a challenge he was posing, one that made your skin prickle with heat just thinking about it. “And how exactly are you gonna know if I stop?”
“Easy, my eyes will be on you making sure your eyes are on yourself.”
With his gaze never leaving yours, he grabs ahold of the top of your jeans and pulls them down, taking your panties with them as they slip down your legs. Joe paused to slip the sneakers off your feet before completely taking the clothing from your legs, leaving you naked standing above him.
“Absolutely fucking beautiful” he mumbled, with his gaze on your legs as he ran his hands up your bare skin. Joe paused at your knees, moving to spread you open. His hands continued up your thighs to spread you wider, the anticipation burning hotter inside of you. When Joe’s eyes land on your pussy, you sink your teeth into your lower lip to fight back a groan, feeling your heart rate increase by the look in his eyes.
“Look at you, already so wet for me.” Joe licked a quick stripe through your center, immediately making your head fall back. He gave you a quick smack to your thigh, pulling you out of your trance. “All for me?”
“Always for you,” you whispered, a sharp intake of breath hitting your lungs when he trails his fingers gently through your slit finishing his pass with a short brush to your clit. Your body felt electric, his touch igniting you leaving heat in its wake.
Your comment earned a strong groan from Joe in response,”now that sounds like my girl.”
He placed gentle kisses to both of your hip bones, showering you with praises each time his lips touched your skin. It was like he was slowly putting you back together one kiss at a time.
“Beautiful.” kiss.
“Smart.” kiss.
“Kind.” kiss.
"Funny." kiss.
“Generous.” kiss.
“Stunning.” kiss.
You lost track of how many, the praises continually spilling out of his mouth. Making his way across your belly as he trailed his way to the apex of your thighs at a painstakingly slow pace, at least to you. It felt like an eternity passed before he finally had his mouth on you,
Everything felt overwhelming, it getting harder and harder to keep your eyes open let alone on yourself in the mirror. It felt like his touch was everywhere, your senses heightened. Everything he did felt amazing, your hands were knotted through his hair as you held on, trying your best to stay standing. His mouth was relentless on your wet heat, taking everything he could get from you. It was hard for you to admit to yourself, but you looked hot like this. You had this god of a man on his knees before you, his mouth devouring you like you were his last meal. You let the feeling wash over you, a moan slipping past your lips as you looked down at Joe.
Sure as shit, his eyes were on you, watching your every move. He smiled against your pussy briefly before getting back into the moment and sucking your clit into his mouth. Slipping two of his slender fingers into you, he began to pump them in and out, slow at first and gradually increasing speed. He arched them just right, hitting your spot with the right amount of pressure time after time. You could feel the knot building in your stomach, finding it hard to hold back any longer.
“I’m not gonna last long,” you breathed out, unsure of your voice.
“You don’t need to hold back, come for me. I want to taste you pretty girl.”
It didn’t take much to fall apart above him, his name falling past your lips in rapid succession as your orgasm washed over you. You rode out your high, pulling his head more into your pussy, earning a satisfied groan from Joe at your actions. He always loved when you would tackle what you needed from him.Your orgasm felt more intense standing up, leaning on Joe for support while you gained your bearings.
When you finally came to, you released Joe from your grip and let him up for air. Your hands trailed down from his hair to his jaw, lifting his chin to meet your eyes.
“I’m sorry for how I acted. Everything just became so heavy this week and I know how hard everythings been for you, I didn’t want to put anything else on your plate,” you said honestly, watching Joe’s eyes soften at your words.
“You can always come to me with whatever you’re feeling no matter how I am, don’t you ever forget that. You’re so goddamn important to me.”
You smiled down at him, following him as he stood up from the floor, his eyes never leaving yours as he towered over you. He brought his hands to rest on your hips, pulling you into him to rest his forehead on yours.
“So how do you feel now, hmm? It was so hot watching you, I could see when you really saw it in the mirror. My girl finally is realizing just how much of a goddess she is.”
A new wave of blush crept up your cheeks, you knew he was right. It was hard to admit that this worked as well as it did. You had a new wave of confidence in yourself, knowing you could take what you want, what you deserved. Joe had a way of making you feel confident in yourself, you just needed a reminder.
“I don’t want it to go to my head or anything, but there was something about having you on your knees for me. Having someone as strong and powerful as you at my mercy was a major confidence boost. I’d want you with less clothes next time though.”
“Baby, I’m always at your mercy, you're my absolute weakness. I’ll be on my knees for you anytime, anywhere just say the word. You were a good girl and listened to me though and good girls get rewarded. Get on the bed, I’m not done showing you yet.”
#joe burrow#cincinnati bengals#joe burrow bengals#joe burrow x reader#joe burrow imagine#nfl imagine#nfl#joe burrow smut#joe burrow fanfic#joe burrow fic#joe burrow fluff#joey b#girlfriend reader
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I think reporters love to ask Ja’Marr about Joe not just because they’re supposedly close, but also because Ja’Marr 1. feeds into their leading questions (“are you Joe’s biggest fan”) and 2. he says the most absolutely batshit insane shit and writes it off as nbd. I’m sure it also helps that Joe is so avoidant and Ja’Marr is all too eager to please.
ja'marr is definitely a gift to reporters who want to go viral lmao. i love how candid he is in his interviews. i hope the PR team never trains it out of him 😤
#it is annoying how they twist his words sometimes though#but i mean he can't really help that#and i think most people approach his comments with common sense#but anyway yeah joe gives us nothing so we need ja'marr for these things#ask#anon
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