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80s-roger · 5 years ago

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affair pt3 - Dad!Roger x Fem!Reader

click to one of those if you wanna check:

masterlist ~ part one ~ part two

warnings: none I guess

words: 2,342

note: Sorry for waiting so long! My PC had a problem and now I'm on my phone so there's not the 'keep reading' option! A request is coming soon!

------------ on with the story, there will be part 4!------------

So after your agreement with him getting back with you legally, costed your mental health which is always unstable and never in good condition. You just have him at your house spending time with your only daughter, whom struggled to bring in this world and he knows it, however, he doesn't really care anymore about it, let alone about you. He just apologised to get back to Audrey. He loves her more than anything, you could never doubt it. He doesn't love you but her and that somehow is something.

He's been around you for almost seven months and to have the facts stated, you did sleep together. That was something you were craving for. You wanted to feel his body on you and his kisses on your skin. But there was something missing. You missed a feeling which wasn't mutual. There wasn't any love from him. You would believe he was just using you for pleasure. But then, you would say he's cheating on you again with groupies. After their new album, he was out there promoting the album with Brian. It was unknown to you why Freddie didn't follow. What wasn't unknown to you, was Roger sleeping with groupies in the meanwhile.

It felt good having his presence at this big house but not as good as it was in the past before Audrey was born. He was so in love with you. You've spent almost a decade struggling with your emotions and the instability of them.

After him coming home again, you both had sex four or five months later. It took you a while to get used to his presence again, let alone let him see your soul and your body. You low-key believed he would never ever want to have a bone zone with you after the divorce and after the withdrawal. But now, things got much worse. Your circle has delayed for three months and you had to find out if there was a pregnancy on the way. You were assured after taking the pregnancy test which was positive and it was the last thing you wanted at the moment. You wouldn't be able to bring it up with love and optimism. Your man didn't love you and he didn't know about it. You had to stop that pregnancy even though you were possibly in the third month.

You were in the kitchen, talking to your gynaecologist but you didn't hear Roger coming home after taking Audrey at the kindergarten.

"I can't keep it, I have to stop the pregnancy." You said as the lump on your throat got in the way. It would definitely be a blond beautiful kid with blue eyes. Roger's genes are so strong and it's obvious to Audrey.

"Do you know exactly the month or week you currently are?"

"Must be around twelve weeks. Please tell me something can happen." you were unapologetically intolerant about it. You weren't into making a second child with Roger. He doesn't even love you, stupid girl.

"Please, pay us a visit, it can't be said via telephone... We will see what we can do."

You made the appointment for the day after tomorrow, wishing the abortion would work, without jeopardizing your life.

"What the hell is going on here?" Roger invaded in the kitchen, scaring the crap out of you.

"Jesus, Roger!" you looked at him frightened. "Were you eavesdropping?" you asked at the same tone.

"I came to my home and I heard you talk about a pregnancy wanting to be stopped. I think this has to be discussed with me too." Roger was legit serious, he even blocked the door so you wouldn't leave.

"This has nothing to do with you." you cold-heartedly said, trying to leave the kitchen but he wouldn't let you.

"I think I helped with the fertilization, didn't I?" he ironically asked, raising an eyebrow.

"No, I bet you didn't use protection so you'd leave a baby inside me and then you'd never get the hell out of here." him doing it on purpose and you not realising it, stressed you just at the thought of it.

"What makes you think of that? You are so desperate for me." He was so unbothered.

"You're so up to yourself Roger, you're only here because of Audrey. Just because I accepted your apology doesn't mean I trust you again." you defended yourself.

"Audrey is my world and I don't give a shit if you trust me or not, but you're keeping this child." he sounded like he was forcing you.

"You're not going to tell me what to do, this is my body and I make the rules!" you yelled.

"Make the rules when the baby is not inside you!" He yelled back and left the kitchen. "I'm the father of it and you're not doing any abortion." for a moment you hoped he was telling this just because he was afraid it would go unsuccessful and then it would harm you too. Was he worried about you? No, if he was, he wouldn't talk to you this way.

"I will make abortion and you wanna know why?" you forcefully asked ready to attack. "Why?" he questioned, "Because you don't love me, you don't care about me and I had to withdraw our divorce because Audrey wanted your presence and so did you." you were so heartbroken, your mental health was above zero like it's always been.

"So you did me a favour?" he asked.

"Consider it a favour, yeah..." You walked outside, going upstairs and he was following you.

"So you still think I don't love you?" he asked as you were tidying Audrey's room.

"I am sure about it," you answered without looking him.

"If I didn't love you, I wouldn't even attempt sleeping on the same bed with you, let alone have sex. I wouldn't even make the effort talking to you right now. Just because I'm not saying it and you're not hearing it often, doesn't mean I don't love you, y/n." you heard his voice lowering as his speech was coming to an end.

"You cheat on me Roger." you exhaled, finally looking at him devastated. "I've lost my sleep with these thoughts. I've lost my piece since we started dating eight years ago." you shook your head frustrated with your thoughts.

"Then why did you keep up with me from the beginning?" he asked with his arms crossed.

"Because I was blindly in love with you, I didn't care. But look at me now. A second child that's undesirable. I'm not happy, Roger!" you emphasized your last words and he seemed broken.

"I'm sorry what you're going through, but we have to stick together for our kids' sake." he came closer to you, placing your fingers around his.

"No, don't do this. You're only making it worse. You make me feel defeated again." you pulled away at his touch. You were dying for it, but you had to be fully strong.

"So now you are avoiding me? You literally whined before, for not being affectionate towards you." his face characteristics were tough.

"Listen Roger, I only blame myself for loving you and letting you home again! I'm only doing it for our daughter!" you shouted and left the room and he was following you. Voices, still loud.

"Don't pretend like you don't value my presence in this goddamn house!" you felt him moving his hands frantically in the air as you were walking down the stairs. "You're too desperate and depended on me, you make me believe you set it all up."

"Aren't you tired?" you looked back at him.

"Tired of what?" he asked confused.

"Reminding me of how hard I fell for you? How hard it was accepting all these things the press said about you? You cheating on me all this time when I was home raising our child? Ain't what I did enough?" you asked disappointed. He didn't talk neither walk. He was just there standing and watching you getting pale in seconds.

"Y/n, you alright?" he asked concerned, but you couldn't answer. Your sight was getting blurry and his voice was muting.

"I... I think I'm gonna pass out." you hermetically closed your eyes and lost your balance at the stairs. Holding yourself didn't assist.

You fell from the stairs and you can clearly remember your back and head aching from the fall and Roger ran towards you, trying to help you gain your consciousness.

"Y/n! Y/n please, hey, wake up!" he searched for a steady pulse at your wrists but it was unsteady and low. "No, no, don't do this to me, please, y/n! If you listen to me, just move your lips or say something, just do something!" you could hear him speaking fast and nervously to you but you couldn't move. But you could moan or something. All you could do was just a sound with your mouth since you felt really incapable of doing anything else. "We're rushing to the hospital babe!" he tried picking you up to his arms and ran to his car.

You lost your senses throughout the ride to the hospital. The next thing you could remember was hearing him cry. Flashbacks of you going to the hospital regularly for exams during your entire pregnancy due to the early difficulties hit him like a truck. "I can't lose you too." he whimpered next to you as you attempted opening your eyes. Too?

"Has she awoke yet?" you heard a doctor speaking.

"N- no, she hasn't." A frightened Roger could be heard to you while his hand didn't leave yours.

"Maybe the drug was too strong to handle." you could hear them but not respond.

"How's the baby? Did you check the fetus?"

"It's fine... Maybe the lady felt dizzy and she just fainted. Maybe her hematocrit is low, her exams will show it soon. Is there any event that recently happened and it's causing her mental and physical pain?" Doctor asked interested about your health and you really wondered what would Roger say. He's the reason why your health is shit.

"Um she has some emotional instabilities..." his touch distanced from your skin.

"It could be some kind of depression during her pregnancy. Do you have another child?"

"A daughter, she's six."

"Maybe she was going through postpartum depression, there's no other explanation... And she still has that reflex of it." The doctor said and after five minutes of the talk he left and Roger stayed with you.

You opened your eyes after half an hour and you saw Roger's head laying to your bed while his hand grabbed yours like he's protecting you. "Rog..." you quietly said and his head popped up immediately, looking at you scared.

"Babe, you alright?" he asked concerned.

"Yeah, what happened to me, did they tell you?" you asked, itching your head.

"It's probably due to some kind of depression... Did you got after Audrey's birth?" he asked.

"Postpartum depression? Yes, but you didn't know," you told him without hesitating about insulting his ego.

"How didn't I know about it? It's about you," he asked confused.

"Anything about me is unimportant to you," you stated at the door and you could feel him getting angry with your words.

"I'm trying to help right now, but you don't help yourself."

"You were here when your first kid was born but not around during her bring up. You were touring and promoting and I was here, diagnosed with postpartum depression while you were out there ch-"

"Cheating on you, I know. I did cheat on you. But stop bringing this up all the time. Now I'm here." he attempted calming you down.

"Yeah, but your ego still over the heavens."

"Y/n, stop this I'm only doing it for the kids." his tone got higher.

"The next time, make sure you're doing this for me too because I am the one who struggles every second of the day, neither is Audrey nor this!" You shouted pointing at your stomach.

"Y/n you know I have no chill but right now, I'd have left the room. I could have let you there on the floor you know!" he tried to save himself, you attacked him with words.

"Do I own you a thank you for that?" you mocked him and he was furious by now.

"Jesus, y/n stop it!!" he shouted and you finally shut your mouth. You crossed the line even under your condition. He sat back at his chair not saying a word again.

"Whatever happens, I want you to know that I don't want this child," you said out of the blue.

"Why are you saying that?" he asked confused.

"I'm just saying." you turned your body opposite him, avoiding any contact.

"Don't you dare commit suicide. You've attempted it in the past, don't fucking do it. You have a daughter." his voice was threatening.

"She loves you, what's the point." you murmured but he heard it.

"Y/n your depression is really transmitting, I can't help you if you can't help yourself at first. If you attempt it, Audrey is done." he tried to turn you from his side but you moved your body as a sign of leaving me alone.

"Just let me give birth to this kid and let me die, I can't be like this anymore." you whimpered. Your depression has been around for a decade. Could have been more if your family issues count.

"Don't say that. Audrey needs you. I need you." his last words sounded like begging.

"You'll find another groupie, you won't need me as you did during our divorce or even before that." your cold voice hit him again.

"Get some rest, I've had enough of you." he left the room without saying anything else and you were finally ready to let your tears fall down. You struggled to keep them for minutes. Now it's time to cry without hesitation.

taglist: @bohemiansweede @funitrog

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