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the-claire-bitch-project · 6 years ago

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The Adventures of The Woman of The House - Part Three - J.M.

Summary: In this anthology series, we will see snapshots of the time Rosanna spends in one of the frat houses for her University, the people she meets there, the people she screws there. In this part, she gets high with a bro.

Pairing: Frat!Joe Mazzello x OC

Word Count: 4.8k

Warnings: weed, pda, fingering, vaginal penetration, stoned sex

As always, thank you to @bensbuttercup for making me a moodboard and thank you to @hollandlovely for beta reading and providing moral support!

Rosanna knocked on the door of the house and was immediately engulfed in a cloud of sweet-smelling smoke. She shut the door behind her quickly to stop it all from drifting outside, and spotted the culprits in a circle on the worn leather couches that was informally the living room. She bounded over and plopped down in the empty seat next to Joe, who passed her a blunt without even asking.

“Where’s Gwil and Ben?” Rosanna whispered before putting it to her lips, paper wet from everyone else’s saliva. She held her breath until her lungs began to burn, then exhaled out her nose before taking another hit and passing it along.

“Ben’s got rehearsal tonight. Gwil’s upstairs studying for a test.”

“Oh, gotcha.” Rosanna nodded and shifted to lean back against the arm of the couch and put her legs over Joe’s knee. He finally turned to look at her, his eyes bloodshot and hooded. “How long have you been smoking?” she asked.

“Long time,” he mumbled. “Bad day.”

“Oh?” Rosanna reached down and found his hand, placing it on top of her thigh, then traced her fingers up and down the veins on his forearm. “Wanna talk about it?”

“Not particularly.” Joe drummed his fingers on her thigh. From his other side, he got the blunt again and raised it to his lips, his cheeks hollowing as he inhaled hungrily. His eyebrows furrowed as he exhaled, smoke falling from his lips as his eyes fluttered open again, meeting Rosanna’s gaze. He took another hit and passed Rosanna the blunt, who didn’t take her eyes off of his as she inhaled, letting her own cheeks hollow out, her mouth forming an O as she let the smoke trickle out. She watched Joe swallow as he looked down at her mouth, fingers squeezing her thigh. She took another hit and leaned back to pass the blunt, arching her back up, knowing her breasts were spilling out of the tank top she had on.

Rosanna tore her gaze away to look at the rest of the circle. She vaguely recognized some of the brothers. The ones with girls were definitely full members, the only ones brave enough to bring girls to the house, and commit as much PDA as was happening around them. There were a couple of younger looking ones, she guessed were pledges, who stared at her, but wouldn’t meet her gaze and pretended they weren’t just ogling her when she looked their way.

Joe was still watching her. She rolled her neck, feeling several satisfying pops, and the familiar cloud hitting her. Either she was getting high or her contacts were failing, she wasn’t sure. Either way, she definitely needed to lean closer to Joe to see him better.

“You’re pretty,” he murmured. Rosanna lifted a hand and trailed her fingers along his cheek, feeling the stubble there. “How come you haven’t kissed me yet?”

“What do you mean?” Rosanna asked, slipping her fingers inside the neckline of his t-shirt, twisting it in her hand.

“You’ve kissed all my friends,” Joe shrugged. His head fell back against the couch and he closed his eyes. Then opened them and looked at her again. “Why not me?”

Rosanna shrugged. “Guess I thought you weren’t interested. You know I don’t settle down.”

Joe laughed dryly. “I’m well-aware, Ro,” he said. His hand on her thigh moved to her waist, other arm wrapping around her to tug her into his lap, feet pressed against the guy on his other side, who was too busy staring at the girl next to him with googly eyes and a goofy grin as she talked animatedly.

Rosanna looked back at Joe and snaked her hand up to grip his jaw. She leaned in close, letting her lips ghost across his mouth, feeling him part his lips eagerly in anticipation, but then turned his head to the side and kissed his neck instead, pressing her tongue, hot and wet, against his skin. His groan in response vibrated against her fingers and lips and his grip on her waist and thigh tightened.

“Have I mentioned you’re a fucking tease?” Joe muttered.

“But that’s part of my charm,” Rosanna whispered in his ear before returning to his neck, this time with her teeth, tugging down the collar of his t-shirt to mark up his collarbone where he could hide it if he wanted.

Joe got the blunt again while Rosanna was working, taking a long draw of it before gently transferring it to her fingers. She admired her work for a second, then took a hit of her own. They exhaled at the same time, smoke mixing between them. Joe’s eyes dark and bloodshot, Rosanna’s blue eyes looking even redder by contrast even though she wasn’t nearly on his level.

“I’ll shotgun your second hit to you,” Joe offered, nodding at the blunt dangling between her fingers. Rosanna kept her grip on his jaw and raised the smoldering blunt to his lips, holding it out behind her as she turned his face towards hers and pressed her lips to his, inhaling sharply as he exhaled the smoke into her mouth, feeling her lungs burn as she pulled away again, ignoring Joe’s sigh of frustration.

She exhaled slowly, opening her eyes to meet his half-lidded gaze. His hand rubbed up and down her thigh, not even hiding that his hand was between her legs now. He didn’t even say anything, just stared at her, waiting for her to make the move.

“This blunt’s done,” said someone behind her. Nobody moved to roll another one.

Rosanna loosened her grip on Joe’s jaw, resting her hand on his chest, the other one snaked up over his shoulders to play with his hair, tugging gently with her fingers. Men were like puppies, they liked their heads scratched. She shot a quick glance over her shoulder. The pledges had disappeared, probably to play Smash in the TV room, everyone else was either talking quietly, or were kissing. She briefly wondered what the fuck was in the weed, but then decided she didn’t care and turned back.

She put her mouth near Joe’s ear and in a soft whisper asked, “Want me to turn your bad day into a good day?”

Joe whimpered softly, only she could hear, “please.”

Rosanna nibbled on his earlobe, her other hand tangled in his hair, scratching his scalp. “You want me to make you feel good, yeah?”

“Please, Ro, please.” Joe’s voice was quiet, raspy from the smoke.

“Alright,” Rosanna said soothingly, finally leaning in to press her lips against Joe’s. It was simple, soft, melting together, and then it was open mouths and tongues and wet and hot and the world was spinning but Joe was there. He was holding onto her. He was kissing her and God, she’d forgotten what it was like to make out while high. Like the entire world disappeared and all she could process was Joe’s mouth and his hand sliding up her leg to squeeze her ass, fingers just under the hem of her shorts.

Joe pulled away and groaned. “Can we go literally anywhere else?”

“Yeah,” Rosanna shrugged. “Did you have somewhere in mind?”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Joe pushed her off his lap and Rosanna wobbled a bit on her feet before letting him take her hand and lead her towards the back stairway.

“Gotta stop by my room first,” he muttered, fumbling for his keys in his pocket. Rosanna leaned her head against the doorframe as he unlocked the door and shut her eyes, feeling the weed really begin to hit her.

She watched Joe pull out his grinder and a pipe, quickly pack a bowl and find a lighter before turning back to her, he looked her up and down, considering something, and then grabbed a hoodie, draping it around Rosanna’s bare shoulders. He grinned as he took her hand.

“I wanna show you something.”

Rosanna let him lead her down the hall, opposite direction from all her friends’ rooms, to the side of the house she’d never been in. For a minute, her heart pounded and she told herself the weed was making her paranoid. It was just Joe. He’d never do anything bad to her. She clutched the hoodie around her, shoving her arms through it. Through the smoke-smell, she could detect Joe’s aftershave when she pressed the fabric to her nose. It made her smile.

Finally he stopped at a door and unlocked it to reveal a small spiral staircase, basically a ladder. Joe dropped Rosanna’s hand to start climbing up. She followed him, holding on tight and trying not to lose her sandals. It wasn’t long, and then Joe was pushing open a trapdoor and climbing out. This must be the way to the roof, Rosanna decided.

She was right. It wasn’t all open, there were high enough walls around them that they could see straight up to the stars, but nobody could see them.

“Holy shit, Joe,” Rosanna said as she looked around. “How come I’ve never been up here?”

Joe shrugged. He sat down on one of the cushions on the ground against the wall. There were a ton of mismatched pillows, a few blankets, a Yeti cooler Rosanna was impressed had gotten up the staircase. String lights hung around the walls and she pictured Joe hammering nails into the wall at strategic points and draping the lights.

“As far as I know I’m the only one who knows it’s here,” Joe said. He held out the pipe and lighter to Rosanna, and she sat down next to him, her thigh pressed up against his. She took the pipe and held it to her lips, but it had been forever since she smoked out of a pipe, and was struggling to balance it and ignite the lighter. Joe gently took the lighter from her hand and lit it for her. Through the flame she looked up at him, chewing on his cheek in concentration. She inhaled sharply and handed the pipe over so Joe could get a hit before it went out, the smoke burned her lungs more than the blunt had and she exhaled quickly, smoke pouring from her lips.

He set the pipe aside and leaned back against the wall, smiling a little as he looked at her. “I’ve never brought anyone up here,” he admitted. Rosanna wondered why he’d prepared a space clearly for more than one person, if he was the only one who ever came up there.

“Really?” She leaned towards him. “Seems like the perfect place to bring someone.” She slid her hand over to rest on his knee.

“Eh,” Joe shrugged. Rosanna could sense something was up. He was clenching his jaw and not looking at her, which was weird for him.

“Why now, Joe?” she asked, squeezing his knee. “Why me?”

Joe reached up and ran his fingers through his hair, shifting around, looking away. “I like that we’re friends,” he murmured. “We smoke and drink beer and hang out and sometimes you call me ‘bro’ and it’s all casual,” he trailed off.

“But?” Rosanna leaned into his line of sight and he finally looked at her.

“But I’m still incredibly attracted to you and I feel so guilty about it,” he whispered. “I—“ His lip quivered and Rosanna had to resist the urge to kiss him.

“Why do you feel guilty?” Rosanna prompted him. She reached up and put a hand on his cheek.

“Cause it’s not fair to you,” Joe finally said. “It feels wrong, like, you’re just something we all pass around like a blunt or joint that’s eventually gonna burn out and you’re not, you’re not an object, you’re a person—“

“Hey, sh, sh, shh,” Rosanna took his face in her hands. “Hey, look at me. Look at me,” she waited for him to lift his eyes. “I choose to have as much or as little sex as I desire, with whomever I desire. That is my choice.”

“I know,” Joe nodded. “It feels archaic though, or like, a stereotype. A woman of the frat house.”

Rosanna laughed. “I kinda like that,” she said. “The woman of the house.”

Joe chuckled. “I guess if it doesn’t bother you I shouldn’t let it bother me.”

“You really shouldn’t,” Rosanna murmured. She got up on her knees and sat astride him. “Bro.” Joe threw back his head and laughed. “What?” Rosanna tilted her head to the side. “You said we’re just bros.”

“Yeah I did say that,” Joe nodded.

Rosanna caught his lips and kissed him, felt him smile. She reached up to thread her fingers into his hair, arching her back as he wrapped his arms around her waist, pressing her chest against him. She had to pull back to breathe, her lungs aching from smoking so much.

“Mm you smell so good,” Joe murmured as he buried his face between her neck and shoulder.

“Probably just smell like weed,” Rosanna chuckled in his ear.

“No you smell like you,” Joe said. “I noticed it the first time I met you. You gave me a hug that second time you came to a party,” he mumbled, a faint pink blush appearing on his cheeks.

“Oh,” Rosanna blushed a little too. She tried to remember the first time she met Joe. “I remember the first time I saw you. You hadn’t buttoned your shirt.” She paused. “I liked your smile.”

“I didn’t talk to you that night,” Joe corrected. His hands wandered up under the back of her tank top, climbing higher and higher. She watched his eyebrows furrow, and then a sudden moment of realization when it finally dawned on him that there was no bra to remove.

“Yeah but Gwil said you took those guys who were messing with me and Lucy outside,” Rosanna reminded him. “So I made sure he introduced me to you at the next party.”

“They shouldn’t have been there anyway,” Joe scrunched up his nose, “they’ve pulled shit like that before and are supposed to be permanently banned but we had fucking pledges on door duty.” His fingers dug into her hips. Rosanna could feel him tense up and watched his jaw clench. “I’m just sorry that had to be your first impression of us.”

“The impression that y’all are the only guys who have ever stood up to other guys for me? The only guys who have constantly had my back, who have always treated me like a person? That impression?” Rosanna smirked. “I’ve literally never seen you this worked up.” She reached up and cupped his cheek, his stubble rough under her palm. “Do I need to fight someone? I will.”

Joe chuckled. “No, you don’t have to fight anyone,” he said. “I just thought my test was on Friday and then it was today and I’m pretty sure I bombed it.”

“Oh shit I’m sorry dude,” Rosanna murmured. “That happened to me once and I had such an anxiety attack it triggered an orgasm.”

“Wait what?” Joe’s head snapped up.

“Oh yeah,” Rosanna nodded. “I think it must’ve been the adrenaline.”

“So you just,” he shook his head, “you just came?”

“Right there in the auditorium,” she confirmed.

“And you weren’t moving your hips or anything?” Joe’s grip tightened on her waist. She liked that firm grip, when he wasn’t nervous and his hands were assured as he touched her.

“No,” Rosanna shifted on his lap. “I was being perfectly still. Squeezed my legs together, but no real external stimulation.”

“Wow,” Joe murmured. “That’s crazy.”

“So you know,” Rosanna shrugged, “it could’ve been worse.” Joe laughed. What a great laugh, a contagious laugh, a completely not self-conscious laugh. She wanted to make him laugh all the time.

“Yeah if I had an orgasm with my panic attacks it’d be a lot more obvious,” he admitted.

“The great news about being a woman is nobody can tell if you’re aroused,” she leaned down to whisper in his ear, “unless they check.” For the first time she grinded her hips against him with purpose, felt his cock twitch between her legs, sending a shot of pleasure up through her body. She knew what she was starting, where this was going to go, and she wanted it, hoping he did too. “So if you’re curious,” she trailed off, reaching for his hand and guiding it between her legs as she sat back on his thighs. Her other hand fell to his neck, and she could feel his carotid jump beneath her fingers.

“Are you still high?” Joe asked as he played with the hem of her shorts which had ridden up enough that he could feel the elastic of her panties. How polite of him to check.

“It’s still in my system but I don’t feel it anymore,” Rosanna answered. “You?”

“Just high on you, bro,” he joked. “But seriously I just didn’t want to do this if you weren’t, like, okay.”

“Jesus Christ, Joe I swear to God,” Rosanna nearly wailed but held herself to a sharp whisper, “I could not be more clear that I want your fingers in my pussy, fuck!”

Joe pulled her shorts and panties to the side and ran his fingers across her folds. “Shit you are wet,” he mumbled, his eyes going wide. As if he were surprised. Did he not know how attractive he was? Just the way he smiled at her made her wet. She’d been wondering if he even liked her back he’d seemed so immune to her flirtation.

“Yeah I wasn’t like, joking,” Rosanna shook her head. She reached up and pushed a hand into her hair. Her clit was throbbing as his fingers ghosted over it. She wanted more, so much more, she wanted all of him so fucking much it was like her body ached for it. “Okay hang on,” she pushed him back and stood up, watched him absentmindedly suck on his fingers as she pushed her shorts and panties down her legs, his eyes going wide as she stepped out of them. But she didn’t give him a show for long, sinking back into his lap, her back against his chest.

Joe rested his chin on her shoulder, his arms snaking around her waist. Rosanna grabbed his hand and pulled it between her legs. Her eyes fluttered shut when she felt his fingers graze over her clit, tracing light circles that made her whole body twitch, and Joe held her tight around the waist. There were those assured hands again. Joe didn’t seem like the type of guy who knew his way around a woman, but then again, those were the guys who always genuinely knew how to please a woman.

Her head fell back on his shoulder as he began a slow, lazy circle around her clit, gentle and steady. She squeezed her eyes shut, turning her head to the side and reaching up to fist his hair, needing to something, anything with her hands. Joe breathed faster, she could feel the puffs of air on her neck, cool against her skin that felt like it was burning.

“Fuck that feels good,” Rosanna sighed. Her other hand gripped the arm that was holding her, nails digging into the sensitive skin on his wrist. She secretly hoped she left a mark. Marks were always fucking sexy.

“Mmhm,” Joe mumbled. He was concentrating, which she appreciated, so she made sure to wiggle her hips back against him, testing how hard he was against her ass, but he only gripped her hipbone tighter, holding her in place.

“Not much of a talker are you?” Rosanna sighed, trying to relax. She hadn’t expected Joe to be so stoic. He was usually so jovial, so upbeat, she’d expected him to joke with her. She tried to focus on her pleasure, on his fingers.

“Nope,” Joe responded. “Do you want me to talk to you?”

“I— fuck,” Rosanna bit down on her lip so hard she tasted blood when Joe pushed his finger inside her. “Only when I tell you to,” she mumbled.

Joe grunted in response. She decided liked how focused he was. Determination. That was hot in a man. Men who knew how to shut up and get her off. Two fingers inside her, the heel of his hand grinding on her clit.

“Fuck, Joe, that feels so fucking good,” Rosanna whimpered, her back arching as she felt the familiar knot of pleasure form beneath his fingers. She bit her lip as her abs tensed up, her legs shaking as an orgasm wracked her body. “Joe--”

“Hm?” His fingers kept working, fucking her through the whole thing.

“Tell me I’m good,” Rosanna croaked, her voice rough. “God please,” she begged. He made her feel weak, vulnerable, and she felt safe enough to ask for this, to be a little bit more submissive than she usually was.

“Such a good girl,” Joe murmured, as if it were the most natural thing in the world, “you did so good, coming all over my fingers like that,” he added before removing his fingers and bringing them up to his mouth for a taste. Rosanna sat up on her knees and slowly pulled her tank top over her head.

“Can I be on top?” she asked, tapping her fingers on her knees. Joe looked at her and nodded, reaching for her hands to pull her into his lap. “You gonna keep all your clothes on?” she teased, feeling his cock straining against his shorts beneath her as she straddled his hips.

“Was kinda planning on it,” Joe shrugged. “Kinda hot being fully clothed while a naked woman rides me.” He winked and ran his hands up and down her sides, making Rosanna smile. Maybe he’d just needed the confidence boost of making her come to relax a little.

“Got a condom then?”

Joe nodded and reached into his pocket. Rosanna took it from him and opened it while Joe pulled out his cock, stroking it a few times before Rosanna rolled on the condom.

“Teamwork,” Joe murmured. Rosanna agreed and gave him a quick kiss on the lips before sitting up, reaching between her legs and lining the tip up with her entrance. She willed herself to relax.

“You ready?” She asked.

“When you are.” Joe gripped her hips as she sank down on him. Rosanna swore she’d never heard a sound so pretty as the moan that dripped from Joe’s lips as she sank down on his cock, his fingers digging even harder into her hips as she wiggled, adjusting.

“Fuck,” she murmured, “you feel so fucking good inside me, bro.”

Joe laughed, “you finally decide to fuck me and the first thing you do once I get inside you is call me bro.”

“You mad bro?” Rosanna giggled, happy to see him smiling again. This was the kind of energy that made him attractive.

“On the contrary,” Joe chuckled, “I kind of like it,” he paused, “bro.”

“Mm,” Rosanna hummed, grinding her hips down, looking for some friction on her clit. She wanted at least one more orgasm before she let him come.

Joe had tilted his head back, his eyes closed, hands tightly gripping her hips and helping her set the rhythm. She leaned down and took his earlobe in her mouth, alternating sucking on it and nibbling. Her hand wandered up to rest on Joe’s throat and feel the vibrations of every sound he made.

Rosanna moved her hips lazily, his cock filled her so well she didn’t need to move much to feel it hit that spot deep inside her that she could usually only find with her toys. From this angle, sitting up together, she could already feel another orgasm building deep inside her core, and she dug her nails into Joe’s shoulders, her forehead falling against his neck.

“So fuckin’ good,” she mumbled, lightly biting down on his trap muscle. He swore faintly when she involuntarily clenched her pussy around him and wrapped his arms around her waist, holding her against him.

In the heat of the Texas night, they were quickly covered in sweat, and the squeak of damp skin quickly joined the squelch of sex along with faint moans filling the night sky.

“Sit back, sit back,” Joe encouraged, pushing on her shoulder. Rosanna reached for her hair and gathered up her sweat soaked curls, breathing a sigh of relief as a breeze blew across the back of her neck.

“Ohhh,” Rosanna’s moan was shaky as Joe slid his thumb between them to provide friction on her clit. “Fuckkk Joe,” she wrapped her arms around herself, letting her curls fall again, sticking to her back. “Feels so fucking good,” she murmured, shivering as cool air passed across the sweat beading up on her skin. She ground her hips down, building the friction inside herself, hot in comparison to her clammy skin, until her thighs were quivering as an orgasm crept through her body. She slumped forward, leaning her hands on Joe’s chest, fisting his t-shirt in her hands and breathing hard as she stilled, taking a break.

“You good?” Joe asked softly, reaching up to cup her cheek. Rosanna leaned down and kissed him, nodding. “You want me to be on top?”

“Please,” she sighed, exhausted. She climbed off of him and laid back against the pillows, briefly cold without him.

Then he was back, pushing inside her with ease and slipping his arms around her back, lifting her off the ground to cradle her to him as he buried his face in her neck. Rosanna looked up at the stars and felt incredibly safe there, completely at ease. She parted her lips, gently mouthing at Joe’s neck, tasting the salty, sweetness of his sweat, letting him know she was still there and enjoying herself. His groan vibrated her bones as he gripped her shoulders, fucking her harder and faster. She had no idea who’d taught him to fuck like this, but she was grateful for them.

“You almost there?” Rosanna asked. She knew she wasn’t going to come again, too tired at that point anyway, but she enjoyed the intimacy of being with someone else while they came, bodies tangled together.

“Mmhm,” Joe mumbled. He lifted his head from her neck and held his face where she could see him, wanting to see every microexpression of pleasure. His eyebrows were crinkled in concentration, his eyes half-lidded in bliss, lips trembling, aching to be kissed. She held back though, eyes wide as she held his face in her hands. Boys were always so pretty when they were on the verge of coming, vulnerable and needy.

Watching his face closely, Rosanna squeezed her muscles around his cock and smiled when she felt his whole body tense up, watched his eyes flutter shut and heard that deep moan of pleasure her ears had ached for. She continued clenching around his cock, making sure his pleasure lasted as long as possible as his arms shook around her. She didn’t mind that he was nearly crushing her, she liked feeling how his entire body reacted.

Joe dropped his head to her neck again and Rosanna kissed and mouthed at his jaw until he recovered enough to pull out of her and stand up. She sighed and tucked a hand behind her head, staring at the stars for a moment of relaxation before standing up to look for her panties. Her legs were shaky the first few steps, hip joints creaking from spreading her legs.

“You okay?” Joe asked as she shook out her legs, trying to feel normal again. He looked normal again, since he’d kept his clothes on, except for his ruffled hair.

“Yeah,” she assured him. “Bad hips.” It happened every time she was on top to be honest.

“Oh, sorry,” Joe started but Rosanna cut him off.

“It’s fine, doesn’t bother me.” She pulled on her panties, still sticky, and wrinkled her nose. She needed a shower. It didn’t help that she was covered in sweat. She put on her tank top and was tying the tie on her shorts when Joe wrapped his hoodie around her shoulders. She looked at him, blinking gratefully as she tugged it around herself and pushed her arms into the sleeves.

“You really are incredible, you know that right?” Joe asked softly. She smiled and nodded at him, leaning over to press her lips to his.

“I know,” she mumbled. “But I like when people tell me.” She pulled back and sighed, plopping down on a pillow again, her legs criss-cross. “The night’s still young,” she said, leaning back to look at the stars.

“Wanna finish that bowl, bro?” Joe joked as he sat down next to her. Rosanna bumped his shoulder.

“Sounds good, bro.”

---

Ko-Fi

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acockius · 6 years ago

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these are the days ; I

I have been writing this self-indulgent piece for quite some time and have decided to take the gigantic leap and share the first chapter. This first part contains the excerpt that I’ve previously posted and loving called ‘Shortshop.’

I try to follow a pretty realistic timeline, but it may be flawed. In addition, the plot deals with personal topics based on what is public knowledge. I’ve done my best to respectfully mention those topics.

I’d love to know your thoughts, and if I should continue to share what I’ve worked on up until this point (It’s already several chapters in development).

Joe Mazzello x Reader ; 4,616 ; overall angsty with pops of fluff, mentions of death, mentions of sexual themes, implied pregnancy

After a heated night of passion, the two of you spent the entire morning tiptoeing around each other. You were both were conscious of the inevitable: Joe leaving for a few months to participate in a press tour to promote the Bohemian Rhapsody movie, and you waiting patiently for him to return home once the movie had launched worldwide.

He’d offered to have you join him, but you denied the invitation. You were well aware of how the movie’s management felt about the reputation of their stars’ and their respective relationships. Of course, Lucy and Rami had gone to hell and back in efforts to keep their relationship a secret. In due time, they’d have the option to let the world know that they were an item if they chose to do so.

Dreamboat Ben Hardy lived the bachelor life, and everyone envied him. He could have anyone he’d wanted, and on most nights, he did. You’d given Joe an out prior to filming, knowing that the distance would be nearly impossible to stand and that a shoot like this would give him a world of opportunity, including any and every girl he could get. Imagine your surprise when he put a ring on your finger prior to leaving to film.

Gwilym had a girlfriend, and he kept her neatly under wraps. You admired that quality very much so, as you believed that anyone who cared so deeply for their loved one would have trouble keeping them out of them limelight. Once you understood he’d done it to protect her, everything made sense. You jokingly told Joe to take a note from Gwilym, and it lead to a small spat that surrounded his immense pride for the future Mrs. Joseph Francis Mazzello, the third. It wasn’t that you didn’t appreciate the attention Joe gave you in interviews and on social media, but you were well aware of the image that their publicity team was going for; the foursome would play rockstars and be worshipped by fans as such. It was difficult to give devotion to a man who was already attached to a woman.

You worked in Public Relations and Entertainment Management, and your career was how the two of you had met. You weren’t a stranger to the occasional flirtation of a celebrity. Most would argue that you were lucky to be given that much attention. Prior to Joe, you’d never mixed business and pleasure. To this day, you were certain that if it hadn’t been for your Yankees necklace, he probably wouldn’t have tried so hard to get you to agree to go for a drink with him.

The filming of Bohemian Rhapsody lasted a steady six months, and that gave you a generous amount of time to plan your intimate wedding. Joe gave you complete control, which terrified you but kept you busy while he was gone. You’d settled on a late May wedding, and that’d given enough time for Joe to return from filming, put the finishing touches on whatever he needed to be a part of, and of course, celebrate with a bachelor party.

However, when Joe returned home from filming Bohemian Rhapsody, a majority of his time was spent with his father, who would eventually pass away from a treacherous battle with glioblastoma. Your wedding was cancelled out of respect for Joe’s family, and though it was initially hard pill to swallow, you knew that it was what was best for Joe to mourn the loss of his father and heal properly.

The summer months brought on an intense grieving process that you never could have prepared yourself for. You held Joe up on some days, and did everything you could to ease the pain of losing his hero and best friend. It was never not instinctual for you; you loved Joe. You were going to spend the rest of your lives together, and being married meant taking on each other’s baggage, no matter how large. Joe confessed that he fell deeper in love as you walked him through the start of life without his dad.

When you reflected on the time you spent together between the passing of Joe’s father and his departure for the press tour, it was clear that you’d grown tremendously as a union. There was never a ceremony but there was a certificate to prove that you belonged to each other until the end of time. You never had the opportunity to celebrate your love for each other, but you didn’t need to. Having each other was enough.

As you rifled through Joe’s luggage, making sure he had everything he needed for an extended period away from home, you wiped a few tears that fell from your eyes. You both were harboring feelings that you were afraid to share with each other, which truthfully was a setback in your relationship.

The whole summer was spent being transparent with each other and working through your feelings. In the beginning, Joe spent the bulk of his grieving by fucking you senseless. He channelled his sadness and anger into physicality; you accepted it at first because you were reaping the benefits. However, after tremendous coaxing, you finally became a couple who talked things out.

This time, you didn’t discuss your feelings about being apart for an extended period of time at all. You both spent the days building up to his departure being sarcastic and pretending it wasn’t a thing that was bound to happen. Two days prior is when the reality of the situation set in. You barely spoke to each other aside from a casual nicety here and there. You both were always on the verge of saying what you felt but never quite getting there.

You were making a very simple dinner the night before Joe had to leave when he caught your lips in a deep kiss. You’d turned from the stove to grab the pepper and he grabbed your face and kissed you hard. Instinctively, you melted into his touch and threw your arms around his neck, battling the height difference by dancing on your tip toes.

Joe turned off the stove with a quick flick of the wrist and lifted you onto the counter, mumbling something about how eating you would suffice. Your sex life was always adventurous, but this outburst of passion caught you off guard.

He had his way with you on nearly every surface of your apartment that night, which was quite the accomplishment seeing that you lived in a one-bedroom. By the time morning came, you’d lost count of how many times you did. You clung to each other, limbs tangled, until Joe’s alarm went off.

Joe silently excused himself from the bed and started a shower for himself. You spent too long toying with the idea of joining him before you actually did so, catching your husband with a head full of shampoo and a goofy smile to match. He ducked down to press a tender kiss to your collar bone, which allowed you to loving massage the shampoo into his scalp. Though your favorite place to fool around was the shower, you tried to respect Joe’s time this morning and helped him clean up in order to look his best for his first day on his press tour.

Joe left the shower first, and then the bathroom, leaving you with a wave of nausea that you did your best to battle. It ended with you on your knees in front of the toilet, dripping wet. You did your best to convince yourself that these vomiting spells were due to the stress of Joe leaving, but deep down, you knew better. Your breasts were incredibly tender, and your period was dangerously late.

In the wake of summer, you stopped taking birth control. The decision was mutual and one suggested by Joe during a sloppy quickie after being caught in a rain storm. The man was positively famous for mumbling casualties during sex. This particular time, he whispered, “Mmmwannaputababyinyou” against your nipple, and you couldn’t let it go.

You were always open with Joe about the fact that conceiving would be difficult, as your family history had plagued you with fertility issues. He was accepting, thank goodness, and vowed to die trying to have a baby. You weren’t actively trying at the moment. At the same time, there wasn’t anything preventing you from getting pregnant.

After you cleaned yourself up, you paced, still stark naked, trying to figure out what to do - if anything. Joe did not need the idea of leaving his pregnant wife at home looming over his head for the entirety of the press tour. You weren’t even sure that you were pregnant! And you didn’t have time to find out until after Joe left.

You quickly changed into one of Joe’s shirts and a fresh pair of undies before throwing your hair up into a towel. When you emerged from the bedroom, you caught Joe staring out of the large window overlooking the New York City streets. His brow was furrowed, his face somewhat pained.

“Babe, are you deep in thought again? There’s smoke coming from your ears.” You’d resorted back to sarcasm, because you knew sooner or later, that you’d have to stare your feelings in the face.

Joe chuckled to himself, running his hand through his hair. “Funny.”

“S’why you married me,” you reminded.

He shook his head, negating your statement. You crossed your arms and tilted your head curiously.

“Look, I could stand here and rattle off all of the reasons why I made you my wife but I’m sure that you’re fighting off tears just as much as I am right now.” Joe turned his attention back to the street and rocked back on his heels. “I’m just trying to spare us both, alright?”

You clicked your tongue against the roof of your mouth and went to your husband, arms snaking around his chest and pulling him tightly against you.

“Joey…,” you started.

“No - don’t. Please…” His voice wavered.

It was discouraging, to say the very least, to watch him uncoil in such a way. You were watching your husband take several steps back from all the progress he’d made after losing his father. You immediately blamed yourself for his behavior; if you would’ve been honest with how you felt about him leaving, he would’ve done the same.

You squeezed your way into the minuscule space between Joe and the window, capturing his face in your hands. He looked away from you, trying to hide the crumbling facade he’d worked so hard to keep up over the past few days. You wouldn’t allow it; you turned his face to yours and pressed up on your toes, kissing Joe feverishly.

It took him a minute but Joe eventually wrapped his arms around your waist, holding you close to him as he kissed you back with the same about of passion. He was the first to pull way, his hand reaching for your cheek to bring your forehead to his. When you opened your eyes, you witnesses tears fall from his own.

“Baby, don’t cry.” You kissed his nose, and wiped away the fresh tears that had fallen with your thumb.

“I don’t want to leave you. I - don’t want to be apart from you for so long.” Joe sniffled, embarrassingly wiping his eyes with the back of his leather jacket.

Joe was such a passionate person, and that was one of the things you loved most about him. He felt with his whole heart, and it was so beautiful. Watching him experience sadness and pain was almost unbearable. You wanted to hurt everyone who ever made him hurt and you were constantly afraid that you’d be the one to cause that hurt. You were terrified that you were the reason at this very moment.

“It’s three months. You were gone for nearly sixth during filming.” You wrapped your arms tightly around Joe and looked up at with sympathetic eyes.

You wanted to ease any kind of worry that Joe was experiencing. You couldn’t have him leave you feeling devastated and anxious. You ran you fingers up his back, swirling circles into the fabric of his leather jacket and kissing his chest softly.

“We somehow survived that. With constant texting, and Face Time…”

“- And sexting. And phone sex. And Face Time sex.” Joe was very quick to add.

“We’ll keep the same habits as last time, my love. And you’ll be back in my arms before you even know it.” You bit back a convincing smile, looking up at Joe with promising eyes.

You saw Joe begin to speak, but he cut himself off with a kiss to your towel-covered hair. You suddenly felt very silly, and ripped the damned thing from your head, tossing it to the ground.

“I wish I was a little bit more put together for this moment.” You admitted, running your fingers through the tangles of your hair. “Not that your Goonies Tee, my wet dog hair, and the lucky Mazzello undies aren’t doing it for me.”

Joe quirked an eyebrow and his hands went to the hem of his shirt that you were wearing, lifting it up just enough to see if you were a woman of your word. His face was plastered with a toothy grin once he saw that you were, in fact, wearing the lucky Mazzello underwear.

Before you’d became a couple, Joe invited you to a Yankees baseball Game. He knew how much of a fan you were, and was delighted to be able to share something in common with you. He was sorely disappointed when you emerged from the subway in every day clothes and a Yankees cap. He knew deep down that a girl who wore her team around her neck was a diehard, and he wasn’t buying this innocent fan act that you were putting on for him.

You considered yourself moderately crazy. You had several wardrobe pieces, including official jerseys and sweatshirts. You had the score sent to your phone, and always kept up with stats and any news about the team. You could handle rabid baseball fans; your brothers and father were as crazy as you’d seen up until this point in your life. That was until you’d met Joe, of course. His devotion to his team only made him more attractive to you. You’d only been on a few casual dates, but if this were to ever turn into anything, you’d be eager to see that passion in other aspects of Joe’s life.

To say the game itself was an absolute shit show was an understatement. You sat there and watched as your beloved New York Yankees were being completely annihilated. Luckily for you, Joe’s company was cushioning the loss tremendously, and you were hoping that he felt the same about you. You enjoyed pleasant conversation about your team, and shared ballpark snacks over a couple of beers. When it was Joe’s turn to grab a snack and a round of beers, you were beyond please when he returned with a batter’s helmet full of chicken fingers and fries.

“Got you something else while I was up.” Joe stated with a mouthful.

Both of your hands were nursing your beer, intensely watching the game. When you hummed in response, Joe set a small package in your lap. You set your drink down to examine it closely, realizing that this son of a bitch had been bold enough to purchase you a pair of cheeky briefs with the New York Yankees emblem on the front. You squinted your eyes to read Joe’s scribbled note.

“Maybe if the team scores, I will too. - JM”

You felt your cheeks become red hot and you tried to play it off, but Joe was none the wiser.

“Too much?” he asked coyly, crossing his legs.

You were still quite dumbfounded by Joe’s advanced actions, because no one in your life had ever made such a valiant attempt to flirt with you. Also, you had to admit it: it was incredibly clever. You let your fingers run over Joe’s handwriting, examining the way Joe wrote his initials in a sleek cursive.

You set the package back down and grabbed your beer. You took a long sip before finally speaking. “Which player is your favorite?”

Joe let a pregnant pause permeate the space between you before he awkwardly rung his hands together. He was convinced he’d struck out with your apparent attempt to change the subject.

“Currently or of All-Time?”

“Currently. I don’t need a magnifying glass to know you’d die for Donnie Baseball.”

Joe smirked, impressed by the fact that you’d been paying attention to him, even if you denied his advances to sleep with him.

“Didi. Why?” Joe crossed his arms and sat back in his chair.

You shrugged playfully, taking another sip of your beer. “I think that if Didi Gregorius can score before the night is over, that I just may be able to make an exception - just this one time, of course - and allow you to also score.”

“Fuck -“ Joe sat up in his seat and leaned towards you. “Come again?”

“That’s an advanced question. I suppose the fate of that rests entirely in Didi’s hands.” You took another nonchalant sip of your beer while you watched Joe practically squirm in his cushy seat. “And here I was satisfied with the thought of just once.”

“Home run? Or does he just have to cross the plate?” Joe’s voice was somewhat strangled as he inquired about the fine print of your arrangement. To say that you were positively giddy to have taken the upper hand in this situation was an understatement.

“I’m not a cruel woman, Mazzello. A run’ll do just fine.” Your voice was smug and Joe had undoubtedly caught on by now. “The man has an at-bat or two left with how things are going… It’s achievable.”

“Fuck right, it is! My man’ll get the job done for me. I’m sure of it.” Joe reached to relax his arm around the back of your seat, a delighted smirk tugging his lips upward. You leaned into his gesture and continued to sip your beer, your free hand admiring Joe’s penmanship.

As the rest of the game played out, the biggest Yankees fan you’d ever known had nearly abandoned ship on his team. He didn’t necessarily care about the Yankees losing, for probably one of the only times in his life; he just needed Didi to score a damn run. Unfortunately, the Bronx Bombers were not victorious, but they nearly were - thanks to Didi Gregorius. The shortstop came close to evening the score with an impressive grand slam in the bottom of the 8th inning, with two outs.

When Didi’s bat made contact with the ball, both you and Joe shot up from your seats, watching intently to see if the ball would land in fair territory in the outfield stands. When it did and the patrons around you clamored in excitement at the rally, you both reached for each other to draw the other into a heated kiss. You knew the possibility of it happening was very strong - Didi Gregorius was a good ball player. But the intensity and thrill was enough for a celebratory make-out session that would continue throughout last out and until most of the crowd around you cleared out.

“I will make you come four times.” Joe mumbled against your lips during a sloppy kiss. “One for each RBI the bastard earned.”

You desperately wanted to card your fingers through Joe’s hair, but you settled on toying with the ends that poked out from his hat. “I’d be satisfied with just the two times I’d decided on at the start of the wager.”

Joe somehow managed to coax five orgasms from you before dawn, and god damnit, was every single one incredible. You’d stayed the night at his place, waking in your new pair of underwear. They fit perfectly and they would make you feel invincible throughout the years. Joe always lingered a bit when you wore them, because all of his favorite things existed in harmony at the same place and time.

“I don’t know how these manage to look fresh, out-of-the-package new every time you wear them.” Joe stated, his hands reaching to paw at the bits of flesh that weren’t covered by the thin fabric.

“It’s the voodoo magic behind them, baby. Don’t question it.” You grinned before pressing playfully kisses along Joe’s jaw.

“Me? Question the magic behind such an enchanted pair of panties? I could never.” Joe gave your ass a playful smack and sighed.

Joe tucked a piece of hair behind your ear and squinted. “Man. I put in fifteen years at Catholic School, only to grow up and believe in our lord and savior, New York Yankees Shortstop, Didi Gregorius.”

“You’re crazy.” You snorted.

“About you.” His response was immediate and it had your cheeks flushing just as they would when you were getting to know Joe.

Joe leaned down to kiss you, a playful smile on his lips, when his phone began vibrating in his jacket pocket.

“Shit. Fuck — no.” Joe grumbled as he fetched his phone from his pocket and sighed before picking it up. “Hello? Yes. Okay, I will be down in a few moments. Thank you so much.”

Your eyes welled with tears before Joe’d even answered the call. You were doing impeccably up until this very moment. Joe cupped your face in his hands and exhaled through his nose.

“No, you’re not gonna do that.” Joe started. “You just gave me the speech and I’m going to give it right back to you. So you better listen up, beautiful.”

You nodded and choked on a sob, face crumbling a bit. That didn’t help Joe’s attempt to be the strong one in this situation. He wrapped his arms around you tightly, kissing your hair and rocking you gently.

“My beautiful wife…” Joe whispered. “Fuck you for making this so hard.”

You laughed and scrunched your nose at your husband as tears streamed down your face. You smoothed your hands over Joe’s jacket, fighting the urge to ball the leather into fists and haul him close to you, and make it so that he didn’t have to leave you.

You wiped your cheeks with the back of your hand and cleared your throat before crossing your arms.

“Dad is with you, throughout every step of this, Joe. Don’t forget that, okay?”

“Joseph Mazzello or John Deacon?”

It was the perfect response. Joe didn’t want to dwell in the sadness of the moment or the past eight months without his father on this earth. You admired him so very much in that moment.

“Both.” You snorted.

He pulled you to him with a firm hand on your shoulder, kissing your forehead once more.

“I love you, Joe.” You gushed, your hand reaching to caress the stubble along his jaw.

“I love you.” Joe turned his head to kiss your palm before taking your face in his.

Joe kissed you as if his life depended on it. If it was going to be the last kiss he’d have for months, he needed for it to count, god damn it. He nibbled softly on your bottom lip, his tongue drinking every last bit of you in before you parted from this kiss. You smiled softly, albeit a bit heart broken, and pecked Joe’s lips once more before going to grab his luggage for him.

“I know what your plans are for this evening, so I don’t expect a call… But a text goodnight is necessary.”

You wheeled the suitcase to Joe and he took it from you with a nod.

“So, like if Roger Taylor and I wanted to FaceTime you to say goodnight, you wouldn’t be into it?”

“Not unless you want Rog seeing my lucky undies, Joseph.”

Joseph hummed to himself and shrugged. “Could be hot.”

“Oh, fuck off!” You laughed, rolling your eyes playfully.

Joe gripped the handle of his suitcase but he didn’t move; he just started at you.

“Baby, you can do this.” You assured him.

“I know. It would just be easier and more enjoyable if you were by my side.” Joe shrugged.

You went to him and stole one more deep kiss. God, you were going to miss those fucking lips.

“I’m in your head. And definitely in your heart.” You reminded.

Joe took your hand and pressed a kiss right near your wedding ring. Your free hand was pressed against his back and it guided him to the door once his lips left your skin.

“I will text you after the concert, beautiful. And probably a million times in between.”

“I know you will, and I look forward to every last message.” You smiled up at Joe and opened the door to your apartment.

Your body language and facial expressions were doing the exact opposite of what you wanted to in the moment, and you were so close to having Joe on his way so you could just cry this out.

Joe stepped out of the apartment, but still faced you. You were both very much aware that the door’s threshold separated you and it was more painfully then you thought it would be.

“I’ll let the boys and Lucy know that you send your love.”

You nodded. “Please do. Let them know how tremendous I think they all are.”

Joe puffed out a breath against his lips. “I’ll do no such thing. They all have big enough heads as it is.”

“I’m sure Ben would be thrilled to know you think he has a big - head.” You leaned against the door frame, accidentally encouraging his behavior.

“Now, that’s the threesome that I should try and arrange.” Joe’s stuck out his tongue playfully and raised his eyebrows.

“You’re so weird. I can’t believe I married you.” You playfully retched, but it stir something in you that you thought you’d fought off earlier.

“Me either, babe.” Joe grinned, and pressed a kiss to your lips. “I love you so fucking much. I’m going to miss you.”

You were on the verge of blowing chunks all over your husband, but you gripped the door handle and kissed Joe back.

“Can’t miss me if you don’t go.” You smirked sympathetically, wondering if you looked at green as you felt.

“That’s tempting…” Joe toyed with the idea for a moment but jumped back when you threw a playful slap in his direction. “Okay, I’m going. I’m going.”

Joe wrapped his hand around the handle of his suitcase, committing ever last feature of your to his memory before turning on his heels and heading towards the elevator, pulling the suitcase behind him. You could feel your heart break, and that coupled with your nausea nearly took you out.

“I love you, Joey. Make me proud.” Your voice was weak but encouraging.

“Always, my love.” Joe didn’t stop this time; he didn’t turn around to look at you, and he quickly disappeared around the corner. You waited a beat to make sure he’d left you for good before you closed the door to your apartment.

You sank completely to the ground and heaved, your vision blurry as you rid your body of whatever nutrition it’d had left. You cried as you vomited on the wood floor of your apartment vestibule. You missed your husband already, and you were scared to face the reality of the situation: you were going to have a baby.

#my fic #joe mazzello fic #joe mazzello x reader #joe mazzello x you #joe mazzello x y/n #please be gentle #joe mazzello imagines #borhap cast fic #joe mazzello #joe mazzello headcanons

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yournotsolocalcryptid · 3 years ago

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Gonna tryn get some stuff done for here so I can have new things to post soon. If anyone has any Moodboard or fic or headcanon ideas or wants please reply to this post or send it to my inbox!

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benismyqueen · 3 years ago

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Here comes the sun. 7

A/N: ¡Solo queda una parte más y el epílogo! Disculpad si hay algún fallo o algo, no tuve tiempo de editarlo.

Advertencias: Un poco de angustia.

Palabras: 6076 (!¡)

Alina durante semanas no supo que decisión debía tomar. Al principio Blaine lo entendió, no era una decisión que debía tomarse a la ligera, pero después de tanto tiempo empezó a preocuparse.

Ella principalmente pensaba en que deseaba ella, sin pensar en nadie más, pero tenía tanto miedo de la respuesta, que siempre terminaba pensando en los deseos de Blaine, y en lo mucho que él la amaba. Era muy afortunada de tener a su lado a una persona como él.

Durante todas estas semanas también evitó a los chicos, cualquier cosa que tuviese que ver con Roger la enfurecía. A menudo vió a Mary, quién sin mencionar al rubio (sabía que algo gordo debía de haber sucedido, aunque ninguno de los chicos dió detalles), le hizo llegar lo mucho que los chicos la echaban de menos. También le hizo llegar la buena noticia de que se irían de gira mundial con su nuevo disco en dos semanas.

Eso la revolvió el estómago. Nunca habían estado tanto tiempo fuera de casa, y sabe que su padre los ama demasiado y querrá hacer una comida de despedida. Y sabe que no podrá evitar para siempre a Roger. Por mucho que le gustaría volver a verlo después de la gira, cuando hayan pasado meses, vuelva con una muchacha en su brazo, y puedan olvidar lo que se dijeron aquel día.

Pero sobre todo lo que más teme, es que al verlo pueda sentir que tomó la decisión equivocada, sentir que el tuvo razón y no cree que pueda vivir tranquila sintiendo que se equivocó. Pero no puede hacerle eso a Blaine. Él la quiere y ella le quiere. No puede arriesgar lo bueno que tiene por una persona intermitente. Por mucho que le quisiese desde los diecisiete. Ya no es una niña, y él tampoco.

Está terminando el registro de la tienda, cuendo suena el timbre que avisa de un nuevo cliente.

"Vaya, sigues viva" Brian entra con las manos en los bolsillos de sus pantalones.

"¡Brian!" No fue consciente de lo mucho que lo había echado de menos hasta ese momento. Pero rápidamente su vista vuelve a la puerta.

"He venido solo" Suelta el aire que no sabía que estaba conteniendo. "Bueno Freddie quería venir, pero necesitaba hablar contigo. ¿Cómo estás?"

Se encoge de hombros. "Estoy algo agobiada, tengo toda mi habitación desordenada, ya sabes llena de cajas... la mudanza..."

"Me refería a Roger"

"No sé si quiero hablar de él" Vuelve su vista a los papeles, esperando que Brian desista. Lo que no sabe es que después de conseguir que su amigo se abriese con él, no piensa detenerse. Nada es tan difícil como hablar con Roger.

"Él si me ha hablado de ti" Miente. Después de aquel día ignora su existencia. Si alguien menciona a la chica se vuelve silencioso y ausente. Y la otra parte del tiempo se la pasa siendo un insufrible e insoportable. Ya nadie le aguanta. Y tenía dos opciones. Hacer que ambos hablen y arreglen sus problemas, o terminar con la banda.

"¿Qué de mi?" El intento de Alina por sonar indiferente es lamentable.

"Te echa de menos" Directamente nunca mencionó esas palabras, pero es evidente. "Deberías hablar con él"

En ese momento Alina sabe lo que está haciendo. Roger nunca ha dicho eso.

"Entonces debería venir él y decírmelo. Y quizá con unas disculpas me pienso si quiero hablar con él." Brian rueda los ojos mientras suspira. No puede ser que ambos sean igual de tercos.

"¿Por qué no puedes dar el paso? Hazlo por nosotros, por los que tenemos que lidiar con su mal humor. Realmente te echa de menos. Y se arrepiente"

"Claro que no se arrepiente" Roger nunca se arrepiente de nada de lo que hace o lo que dice. Quizá si de la forma que lo hace, pero nunca por hacerlo. Si hace algo o dice algo es porque realmente así lo sintió en ese momento. Y a día de hoy sigue sintiendo lo que dijo a la chica. Quizá debió ser antes, o quizá de otra forma, pero siente que hizo lo que sentía, y no se arrepiente.

"¿Sabes que tu padre en unos días hará una comida de despedida?, ¿realmente dejarás que ese día sea el de vuestro incómodo reencuentro?, o mejor aún, ¿dejarás que se vaya sin arreglar las cosas?"

Si, quiso responder. Aunque sabe que lo echará muchísimo de menos, y que todas las noches tendrá la necesidad imperiosa de llamarlo, de decirle que está todo bien y que quiere a su amigo de vuelta. Pero aquel día todo cambió. Y no sabe si algún día podrán volver a estar como antes.

"No creo que sea buena idea. He tomado una decisión, necesitaba su apoyo, y él tomó su propia decisión. No hay nada más que hablar."

"Alina te lo suplico" En ese momento pudo jurar que Brian casi cae a sus pies suplicando. "Ve a verlo y haced las paces" Puede ver en sus ojos suplicantes la desesperación. "Estos últimos días ha estado actuando probablemente tres veces más el imbécil que es. Normalmente es gracioso, pero está siendo desagradable y un gilipollas. Nunca he conocido a un chico con un talento como el suyo para caer mal a los demás, y todos sabemos que de no ser por su encanto personal, ya lo habría golpeado. Así que por favor, habla con él. No te pido que seas amable, simplemente ve a verlo, para que así deje de atormentar a todo el mundo."

"Roger no es mi problema" se limita a contestar. "Y debería comportarse como un adulto y comprender que no tiene ningún derecho a decir esas cosas."

"Roger no tiene el derecho a decir el noventa por ciento de lo que sale de su boca a diario. No es como si eso lo hubiese detenido antes."

"¿Por qué le importa de todas formas? No tiene nada que ver con él."

"La cosa es..." Brian no sabe de donde está sacando la paciencia para no abrir sus ojos a la fuerza. "En su mundo, todo tiene que ver con él."

"Esto no"

"Escucha" El moreno pone sus manos sobre sus hombros. "Conozco a este chico desde que es un niño, y hasta hace muy poco ha luchado por superar unos traumas y una parte de él que aún no conoces. Y honestamente, me da igual, porque este hombre siente cosas por ti."

Omite el hecho de estar terriblemente enamorado, quiere ayudar a su amigo. No venderlo.

"Y tú no has tenido el intenso, y digo intenso disgusto de aguantarlos a ambos desde que os conocéis. Estabais tan ocupados odiandoos que érais incapaces de disfrutar del amor, complicidad y cariño que teníais en vuestros días de calma. Tampoco has tenido el placer de escucharlo hablar de ti todos los días durante años, mientras intenta llegar a un término con sus sentimientos."

Toma una profunda respiración.

"Alina. Como Roger es un maldito cobarde, vas a ser tú quien de el primer paso. Y honestamente, si no te importa sacarlo a él de su miseria, al menos sácame a mi de la mia. Sé la indicada, por favor."

Antes de que pueda pensar siquiera en lo que está pensando contesta. "Hablaré con él."

Tal y como Brian dijo, dos días antes de dar comienzo a la gira mundial, Rich se encarga de organizar una comida. Y a pesar de lo que dijo, no habló con Roger. Quizá por eso está tan nerviosa de camino a casa, lleva algo más de un mes sin verlo.

"¿Estás bien?" La mano de Blaine aprieta su muslo.

"Si" Alina está distraída mirando por la ventanilla del coche. "Solo llegamos tarde, ya sabes lo puntual que soy y me pongo nerviosa..." Empieza a divagar poniéndose aún más nerviosa mientras Blaine se ríe.

"Cariño, es tu familia" Recuerda. "Hace tiempo que no les ves, ¿cierto? A los chicos digo"

Con todo el alboroto de la mudanza había conseguido no alarmar a Blaine, pero si que se había dado cuenta que de pronto ya no llegaba tarde a sus citas con él por ellos, Roger no la buscaba para ir al estudio y ella ya no contaba ninguna anécdota de su día cada vez que se juntaba con ellos. Pero no tuvo el corazón de preguntar por temor a la respuesta.

"Bueno, ya no soy una niña para perseguirlos a todas partes, cada uno tiene su vida y con la mudanza..." Nota como se pone aún más nerviosa lo que hace que empiece a sentir pequeñas taquicardias.

"Oye" Blaine masajea su muslo. "Tranquila, solo es una observación. Quizá deberías invitarlos a casa. Cuando ya esté todo" puntualiza.

Sabe a lo que se refiere. Durante semanas estuvo reacia a llevar sus cosas al piso. Al principio dijo que primero deberían poner todo el piso en orden y con los gustos de ambos, los muebles, la pintura de las paredes... Todo lo necesario para sentirse en casa, de alguna manera su subconsciente quería retrasar el momento de poner su ropa en el armario, y sus productos en el baño. Y eso les llevó a cambiar tres veces el color del salón, hasta que finalmente se dieron por vencidos. En ese salón y con esos colores jamás podría bailar con Blaine.

"Sí, sería genial" Miente. La única manera de que Roger entras en su casa con los pies por delante.

Su mente viaja a la habitación de casa de sus padres, están casi todas sus cosas en cajas. Casi. Es incapaz de meter algo sin echarse a llorar. Y hoy que van de visita llevarán sus cosas a casa. Finalmente.

"Mira, ya están" Llegan al viejo vecindario de sus padres y a lo largo de la calle pueden ver diversos coches desfilando, además de mucha gente asomada a la ventana.

No sabe como consigue hacer que sus piernas funcionen correctamente hasta la puerta, pero no tiene tiempo de recuperarse de su nudo en el pecho cuando Blaine llama a la puerta.

"Alina" Los brazos de Vicky la sujetan con fuerza y abrazan su cuerpo temblando.

Cuando cruza el umbral de la puerta escucha el murmullo del salón y el grito de su sobrino de tres años.

"¡Alina!" Deaky se levanta cuando ve a su amiga. "Demasiado tiempo"

"Siempre un placer" Brian la saluda con un movimiento de cabeza sin levantarse del sofá.

Blaine está saludando a Freddie mientras este le sirve una copa de vino tinto.

"Ey, ¿qué pasa tío?" Roger saluda a Blaine dándole una palmada en el hombro. Un buen saludo, sin duda obra de Brian. "Hola Miss desaparecida"

Tenía muchas dudas de lo que sentiría al ver a Roger después de tanto tiempo, y de como se darían las cosas. Y ahí está, frene a ella, a un paso, con su pelo rubio un poco más corto y una sonrisa tirando de sus labios. Tan jovial y despreocupado... Si no fuese por los movimientos de sus dedos que lo hace parecer ansioso.

Y ella vuelve a sentirse igual que a los diecisiete.

Las palabras 'Eres un hijo de puta, Roger' mueren en sus labios cuando siente una mano en su pierna.

"Tia, tia, tia" el pequeño Will intenta llamar su atención tirando de su pantalón. "Ya voy yo solo al baño"

Su hermana Debbie rueda los ojos divertida. Realmente se lo está diciendo a todo el mundo.

"¿En serio?" Roger corta el momento incómodo ya que Alina parece que olvida por un momento como hablar. "Mi madre aún debe acompañarme"

Will se ríe y persigue a Blaine probablemente para decirle a él también lo adulto que se siente.

Roger da un paso acercándose a ella. No parece ni furioso ni triste, pero no sabe exactamente qué decir. Abre la boca varias veces pero no dice nada. Vicky corta el incómodo momento entrando con la comida.

"Vamos, a sentarse"

Cada uno toma su sitio en la mesa, y casualmente Roger y Alina terminan en frente.

Nadie parece percatarse de sus miradas incómodas, ni sus silencios en la mesa. Rápidamente hay varias conversaciones sobre la gira y de fondo el tintineo de los cubiertos.

"¡América!, ¿quién lo diría?" Exclama Rich.

"¡Quién lo diría!, ¿verdad Alina?" Mary saca a su amiga de sus propios pensamientos. "¿Recuerdas cuando íbamos a ver a estos perdedores?"

"Solo recuerdo la bebida. Era asquerosa" Bromea con una sonrisa.

"Entonces, ¿por qué ibas?" Pregunta Blaine con una sonrisa.

"Por la música medianamente aceptable."

"Digna descripción de tu padre, Brian" Deaky bromea.

"Aún recuerdo una tarde que entré en la tienda y vi a Roger y Alina, ¿os acordáis? Estábais escuchando la demo del primer disco."

En ese momento varias cosas pasan a la vez. Roger se atraganta con el vino, Deaky y Brian se miran confundidos y Alina se pone roja mientras titubea. A todo esto Blaine les observa con el ceño fruncido.

"¡Papá!, ¡era un secreto!"

"¡Oh vamos!, han pasado años, ya ha preescrito" Rich no es del todo consciente de la bomba que acaba de soltar en la mesa.

"Pensamos que la idea era mostrárselo juntos" Deaky mira a Roger que se encoge de hombros.

"¡Realmente te emocionaste!" Freddie señala a la chica. "No puedo creer que fuese falso"

"No fue falso"

"¿Recordáis sus gritos cuando le enseñamos la cinta?" Brian les hace recordar a todos ese momento.

"Todo falso" Freddie lamenta mientras niega con la cabeza.

"Oye, realmente estáis perdiendo el foco importante. Roger fue a mostrarme la cinta. Yo no lo pedí" En ese momento sus miradas se cruzan.

"Bueno..." Con una sonrisa y la ceja alzada dice "Yo recuerdo como me quitaste la cinta de las manos."

Alina jadea.

"Tendrás valor..."

"Te dije que querían mostrártelo juntos y debía ser nuestro secreto" Un escalofrío recorre su espalda cuando dijo 'nuestro' "Y accediste"

Rich sonríe con la copa de vino en sus labios. Sin quererlo había conseguido sacar a los chicos de esa nebulosa incómoda.

"Dinos Roger, ¿cuántas veces más nos has traicionado?" Brian pregunta apoyándose en la mesa.

Antes de que Roger pueda asegurar que nunca más enseñó a la chica ningún disco, lo cual sería una mentira a medias, ya que alguna canción que le hacía extrema ilusión si que se la mostró, Alina habla.

"Bri, ¿recuerdas aquel regalo alucinante en las navidades de 1971? En verdad yo lo elegí" Roger abre desmesuradamente los ojos.

"Era un regalo alucinante." Freddie habla recordando el obsequio "Debimos sospechar que no era idea de Roger."

"Para empezar" Roger se dirige a sus amigos. "Soy perfectamente capaz de hacer regalos alucinantes. ¿A que sí?" Pregunta mirando a la chica.

En ese instante todos se pierden. No tienen ni idea de lo que está hablando.

"¿Cómo lo hiciste?" A su vuelta después de esas navidades se lo preguntó muchas veces. ¿Cómo consiguió hacerle un regalo? Pero siempre respondía lo mismo.

"Magia" Responde con una sonrisa. Blaine no se pierde la media sonrisa cómplice de Alina, ni el intento de esconder la sonrisa de Maisie. Siente que conoce más a su novia por Roger y los chicos, que por ella mima.

Blaine carraspea haciendo que la chica aparte la mirada de Roger.

"El otro día vimos el concierto" Comienza otra conversación en la que pueda ser partícipe y no sentir la conexión de Roger y su chica.

"Fue alucinante" Maisie exclama "No podía elegir una canción favorita pero keep yourself alive me recordó cuando era una niña."

"Lo sigues siendo" Maisie saca la lengua a Alina.

"Nuestra favorita fue somebody to love, ¿verdad?" Blaine mira a la chica quién se pone un poco tensa.

"En verdad disfruté mucho de 39'" Tiene una mirada cómplice con Brian. Le trae buenos recuerdos. Roger disimula una sonrisa.

"¿Pero no es raro?, ¿verdad?" Alina sabe lo que está a punto de decir pero por alguna razón mira a Roger y no lo detiene. "Quiero decir, 39 es una canción preciosa y a continuación tocáis fat bottomed girls"

"Escribí ambas" Brian no sabe si sentirse ofendido o sentir pena por Blaine que no sabe donde meterse.

Alina y Roger comparten una mirada y ambos intentan contener la risa. El rubio toma la copa de vino para disimular la sonrisa, pero cuando escucha la pequeña risa de Alina no aguanta más y se le escapa una carcajada haciendo que el vino se le salga por la nariz. Entonces Alina empieza a reirse más fuerte.

"Lo siento" Entre risas Roger se disculpa mientras se limpia con la servilleta.

Brian esta vez está encantado de ser él, el que corte el silencio tenso en la mesa. Sabía que no había manera en el mundo de que Roger y Alina estuviesen juntos y fuesen incapaces de seguir teniendo esa conexión. El amor está ahí, en los pequeños detalles.

Roger y Alina siguen compartiendo miradas cómplices aunque no participan en la conversación.

En algún momento alguien pone música de fondo, tal y como hacían en todas las reuniones.

"¡Alina!, escucha" Maisie grita mientras sube un poco más el volumen. Todos se callan expectantes hasta que escuchan la canción.

Un escalofrío le recorre el cuerpo y siente un sudor frío por su espalda. Llevaba tiempo sin escucharla.

Here comes the sun.

"¿Recordáis su obsesión con esta canción?"

"Siempre la ponía en todas partes" Mary sonríe con el recuerdo.

"Tengo la teoría de que cada vez que se quedaba en silencio, escuchaba esa canción en su cabeza" Freddie asiente a las palabras de Brian.

"Siempre llevaba esa cinta, nos la ponía en la furgoneta" Deaky recuerda haciendo sonreír a Roger.

"La cantaba siempre. No había forma de escuchar la canción y no asociarla con ella" Rich pone de nuevo el vinilo, repitiendo la canción.

Y toda la conversación se ve interrumpida por Blaine. "¿En serio?"

"¿Nunca te puso la canción?" Maisie pregunta incrédula. Roger mira a la chica con el ceño fruncido.

"No" Casi suena más a pregunta.

"Tampoco es tan importante" Alina se pone realmente nerviosa, igual que en el coche. "Solo es una canción"

"Eras muy pesada" Recuerda Maisie.

"Cállate" Esta vez suena más agresiva.

"Pero Alina" Maisie frunce el ceño. "Pero si cantabas esa canción con todo el mundo"

Blaine la mira preocupado.

"Bueno, nosotros hemos compartido muchas canciones"

Alina siente que está a punto de ponerse a llorar. Se siente acorralada, y siente que no está siendo sincera.

"Bueno" Vicky se levanta de la mesa intenta ayudar a su hija. "¿Quién de mis tres hermosas hijas será la que me ayude a recoger los platos?"

"Bueno, Alina llegó tarde a propósito para no poner la mesa, sería lo justo que ella te ayude." Debbie bromea para romper el hielo. Alina no contesta, se levanta y casi corriendo huye a la cocina. Roger siente el impulso de seguirla, pero siente la mano de Freddie en su muslo y no lo hace.

"Está bien cariño, ¿qué ocurre?" Vicky cierra la puerta de la cocina tras ella. Alina está con la vista en el fregadero lleno de platos y cubiertos sucios. Si hace unos segundos sentía un nudo en el pecho y los ojos llenos de lágrimas, ahora siente que hiperventila, le cuesta respirar y sabe que si empieza a llorar, no podrá parar.

"No sé mamá..."

"Está bien, está bien" Coge a su hija en sus brazos y la abraza fuerte. "Está bien mi amor. Ven, siéntate"

Las lágrimas corren por sus mejillas y se sienta en la silla obligada por su madre.

"Estás pasando por una mudanza, te vas a vivir con un chico increíble y estás a punto de empezar una vida como mujer. Está bien. Es duro irte de casa, pero seguimos siendo tu familia, no nos iremos a ninguna parte" Alina niega con la cabeza incapaz de decir algo. "¿Recuerdas cuando se fue Debbie? Siempre venía a dormir los fines de semana aquí, hasta que se sintió lista. Está bien. Sentirte como te sientes está bien."

No sabe lo mucho que necesitaba oir esas palabras. Durante semanas había retenido todos sus sentimientos, y lo había conseguido porque siempre venía un día posterior donde seguía durmiendo en su cama, entre sus cuatro paredes, y aún podía soñar que tenía diecisiete años y que al día siguiente podría ir al estudio con los chicos. Pero esos días se acabaron, ahora su vida sería diferente y no estaba lista. Y sabe que no debería sentirse así. Debería tener miedo por todo lo que puede salir mal, pero no sentir que está tomando la decisión equivocada.

"¿Tú te sentiste así?"

Vicky no tiene el corazón de ser sincera ni de contestar esa pregunta.

"No todos vivimos las mismas situaciones igual."

Vicky fue feliz el día que durmió con Rich por primera vez en su hogar. Pero la diferencia es que su hogar nunca fueron cuatro paredes. Su hogar era donde el corazón de Rich y sus hijas estaba. Da igual en esa casa, que debajo del peor puente de un barrio pobre de Londres.

"No debería ser doloroso"

"No. No debería. Seguir esto" Pone su mano sobre el pecho de su hija, donde reside su corazón. "Nunca puede ser doloroso."

"Siento que si hago lo que siento haré daño a la gente que me quiere." Por primera vez se sincera con su madre. Todos sus miedos, y todo el dolor que siente en su pecho. Y todo lleva un nombre.

Por un momento piensa que todo es culpa de Roger, que si tan solo no hubiese sido tan egoísta de decir lo que siente en el momento menos indicado, ella no se sentiría así ahora. Por su culpa siente que debe pensar en él, y vuelve a sentir todo lo que sintió por él. Pero una pequeña parte de ella siente que puede que tenga razón. Que puede que esté equivocada, que todos los caminos siempre le han llevado a él. Siempre él.

"La gente que te quiere te seguirá queriendo. Es inevitable que nadie salga herido. Lo único que quiero es que no seas tú. No mereces sentirte así.

"Si, lo merezco" Se le rompe la voz y las lágrimas vuelven a llenar sus ojos. "Lo merezco"

"No cariño, no" Vicky vuelve a pasar los brazos por su cuerpo, abrazándola.

Lo merece. Debe ser sincera con Blaine, y no lo ha sido. Quizá en un principio no lo fué de manera inconsciente, pero ahora es consciente. Sus sentimientos que se habían quedado dormidos, después del toque de Roger habían despertado más furiosos que nunca. La queman por dentro y con más fuerza cada vez que intenta retenerlos.

"Eres mi hija. Y ninguna de mis hijas lo merecen."

"Tú eres mi madre, tu deber es apoyarme siempre. No eres objetiva"

"Como soy tu madre, te conozco" Sin ser demasiado explícita sabe lo que intenta decir. Sabe a lo que se refiere. "Te conozco mi niña"

Esta vez es Alina la que abraza a su madre. En algún momento la hace daño de lo fuerte que tiene sus brazos en su cintura, pero no se queja. Poco a poco sus brazos se relajan y permiten que Vicky se mueva un poco. Alina ya ha dejado de llorar y se apoya con un brazo sobre la mesa.

Su madre se da la vuelta y empieza a fregar en un silencio cómodo. Quiere ayudarla, pero cree que por mucho que pueda decir, no es de su boca de quién necesita esas palabras. Solo puede sentarse a su lado, escucharla cuando se sienta lista, y apoyarla en todas sus decisiones. Aunque no le gusten.

"Os vi" Alina rompe el silencio mientras su madre seca con cuidado una olla. Hay algo doméstico en hacer las tareas, se siente como una niña de nuevo, y vuelve a sentir esa comodidad y confort para hablar de nuevo. "A papá y a ti"

"¿De qué hablas, cariño?"

"Un domingo. Debíais pensar que Maisie y yo estábamos dormidas. Pero oí pasos en el salón y decidí bajar." Tiene una sonrisa mientras recuerda el momento. "Me quedé sentada en las escaleras. Estábais papá y tu bailando. Te decía algunas palabras en el oído y tu sonreías mucho. En algún momento debió cantar algunas frases de Here's comes the sun."

Vicky siente como el aire sale de sus pulmones.

"No sé cuanto tiempo estuve ahí, quizá diez minutos. Maisie se despertó y dejásteis de bailar."

Vicky ahora entiende un poco su obsesión con esa canción. Pero no lo entiende.

"No lo recuerdo, cariño"

"¿Qué?"

"No recuerdo. No sé, no recuerdo todas las mañanas de domingo de nuestras vidas"

El corazón de Alina se hunde. Para ella es un recuerdo precioso. Quizá el momento en el que se dió cuenta del gran amor de sus padres, y para ella es muy importante. No entiende como su madre puede no recordarlo.

"Pero mamá..."

"No entiendo por qué es tan importante, cariño, hemos tenido muchos bailes."

"Pero..."

Vicky deja de secar todos los cubiertos y se sienta en la silla a su lado

"Cariño. A esto me refería." Vicky empieza a entender un poco más a su hija. Toma su mano sobre la mesa y la acaricia. "Para mi ese baile no es importante, no significó nada. ¿Sabes por qué? He tenido millones de bailes con tu padre."

"Pero estábais felices"

"Bueno, gracias a dios siempre soy feliz con tu padre. Escúchame" Aprieta su mano y sonríe a su dulce niña. "Para mi todos los días son días extraordinarios. Tu padre siempre me hace sentir la mujer más afortunada del mundo, y siempre todos los días me demuestra todo su amor. Por eso ese baile no lo recuerdo, me es imposible recordar todos los buenos momentos porque para mi, desde que lo conocí me siento inmensamente feliz. Y todos los días me recuerda lo mucho que nos amamos. Lo que no entiendo es que significase tanto para ti."

"Me di cuenta de que os amábais. No sé." Frunce el ceño. Ahora no sabe que fue lo que marcó tanto ese recuerdo. "Simplemente os vi felices."

"Pues cariño. Eso es lo que deseo para ti. No deseo que un baile sea tu recuerdo más feliz. Deseo que vivas tantos momentos felices todos los días que te sea imposible recordarlos todos. Deseo que siempre seas amada, y que ames todos los días. Qué no dejes un día en blanco sin haber amado a la persona que tienes aquí." señala su corazón con el dedo. "Mereces ser feliz siempre."

Alina empieza a entender a su madre. Sabe qué quiere decir. Pero todo en su cabeza sigue siendo un lío enorme.

"Te quiero mucho mamá."

"Lo sé cariño" Esta vez se abrazan con tranquilidad. Están tan cómodas sintiendo el amor que se tienen, que no sienten cuando abren la puerta.

"Mis chicas favoritas abrazándose y no me invitan. ¿Habéis dejado de quererme?, dime Vicky, ¿me pedirás el divorcio? solo que sepas que tendrás que denunciarme, no pienso firmar esos papeles." Rich se apoya en la puerta con una sonrisa en los labios.

"Que cosas dices" Vicky se levanta arreglando el vestido.

Alina les mira con una sonrisa. Se están mirando como aquel día. Y como todos los días.

"¿Qué pasa?" Rich mira confundido a su hija y luego a su mujer. "Oye venía a decirte que no es por presión, pero siguen tus cosas en cajas en tu habitación, y hay cosas por ahí tiradas..."

"Tu padre está emocionado por convertir tu habitación en un estudio de pintura."

Rich abre la boca pero no es capaz de llevar la contraria a su esposa.

"Tranquilo papá. Está bien" Coge la indirecta y se levanta de su silla. Cuando sale por el umbral de la puerta siente que el peso sobre sus hombros ya no pesa ni duele tanto. Blaine se levanta al verla, pero se queda en el sitio cuando Alina lo detiene. "Iré a recoger las cosas. Prometí a mi padre que lo haría, tiene prisa por echarme de casa" Bromea mientras se aleja por el pasillo.

Roger y los chicos se miran confundidos. No saben que puede haber pasado en la cocina pero algo bueno debió ser. No parece la misma que entró.

"Chicos" Vicky aparece en el salón con Rich a sus espaldas. "Amo a mi hija, pero todos aquí sabemos que no podrá recoger todo ella sola. Roger hijo, ¿podrías ayudarla?" El chico se sobresalta, pero contento de tener una escusa por seguirla, se pone en pie y casi corre por el pasillo.

Alina está frente a su cama, dando la espalda a la puerta. Está mirando la pared donde hay cientos de fotos polaroid colgadas. Aún no tiene el corazón de quitarlas. La mayoría son de Mary, sus hermanas, y muchísimas de los chicos y Roger.

Roger entra a sus espaldas en silencio. Hace mucho tiempo que no sube a su habitación. Ve casi todo en cajas y como observa la pared llena de fotos. Se acerca al tocadiscos que es de las pocas cosas que aún están en su sitio, y pone de nuevo el vinilo que ya estaba colocado. Empieza a sonar Hello, Goodbye de los beatles y rueda los ojos. Su pequeña obsesión

Alina no se vuelve. Sabe quién es.

"Aquel día bebiste tanto que me tiraste la cerveza encima" Por encima de su hombro ven una de las fotos. Son Alina y Roger en la furgoneta, amos sentados mientras los demás intentaban recoger todo después del concierto en el pub. Ambos sonriendo con sus cabezas pegadas.

"No bebí tanto"

No, pero bebiste. Te sentó bastante mal."

"Fue tu culpa" con una sonrisa triste se vuelve a mirarlo y le da con el dedo índice en el pecho.

"Yo solo te di a probar, no para que te quedases la bebida y te emborrachases. Descarada" Se ríe un poco. Tiene razón. Durante semanas se burló de tener que llevarla a su casa borracha y tener que llamar a Mary para que llamase a sus padres y diría que dormiría con ella esa noche. Tampoco se olvida de que hubo un chantaje para que fuese a conocer a su madre con ese momento.

"Me ha dicho tu madre que te ayude. No confía en que seas capaz de hacerlo tú sola"

"Me conoce bien" Vuelve otra vez su vista a las cajas. "Quizá puedas meter lo que haya en mi cómoda en una caja."

Alina toma una de las cajas y abre el armario. Suspira pero empieza a sacar la ropa y doblarla.

"Tenías razón. El otro día." Roger abre el primer cajón mientras se sienta en la cama. "Fui un hijo de puta"

"No quise decir eso" Ambos evitan mirarse y poco a poco llenan cajas de sus pertenencias.

"Lo hiciste. Y me comporté como un cabrón así que no te lo tengo en cuenta." Piensa que debería pedir perdón pero no lo hace.

"Está bien."

Roger encuentra en el cajón la vieja libreta que le regaló en aquellas navidades. Sonríe y abre la abre. Pero está vacía. Frunce el ceño.

"¿No la has usado?" Está bastante ofendido.

Alina se gira confundida. Cuando ve la libreta suspira.

"No sabía para que usarla. Estoy esperando a una buena idea."

Mete la libreta en la caja que lleva un "Imprescindible" escrito a rotulador. Se ríe negando con la cabeza.

"¿Sabes lo que significa imprescindible? Ahí debería de ir mis tarjetas, datos médicos y esa clase de cosas."

"Mi libreta es imprescindible." Niega con la cabeza y sigue sacando ropa del armario. Sabe que da igual que cajas lleve hoy, porque todo está mal repartido, y no le importa. Roger es un desastre.

"¿Tus vinilos y casettes?" pregunta viendo sus baldas.

"Esos a la caja de música. Creo que está al lado de la puerta."

Poco a poco saca todos los vinilos y los casettes. La mayoría son de queen, de los beatles, abba y algunos grupos de rock, seguramente regalos de su padre. También hay algunos de algún grupo indie que sin duda sería regalos de Blaine. Pero reconoce uno. Es un casette sin foto ni pegatina. Lo reconoce porque es el que él la regaló en navidad. Sin que se de cuenta lo mete en la caja de imprescindible.

En ese momento se acuerda de algo

"Alina" la última vez que la llamó así estaban discutiendo y la forma en la que lo dijo le paró el corazón. Pero ahora era suave, como un susurro. "Tengo algo para ti"

Ambos se sientan en la cama, mientras Roger saca algo del bolsillo de su pantalón. "Brian el otro día lo encontró en mi coche y creo que rodó los ojos tan fuerte que casi se le quedan mirando hacia la nuca." Deja una cinta casette en sus manos. Es su cinta. La que llevaba a todas partes.

"Pensé que la habías perdido" Hacía años que la puso en la vieja furgoneta y se la olvidó allí. Cometió el error de decírselo a Roger y este se la quedó. Estuvo meses suplicando por su cinta y él siempre respondía "Si tanto la quieres no la andarías olvidando por ahí. Ahora tiene nuevo dueño", o "Si la quieres, gánatela"

"¿Cómo podría perderla?" Frunce el ceño. "Simplemente la he mantenido a salvo." No quiere admitir que alguna vez la ha escuchado en su coche y ha cantado Here comes the sun con una sonrisa. "Pero te pertenece."

"No que va. Es tuya. Tu lo dijiste, ahora tiene dueño" Alina devuelve la cinta a sus manos. "Además no la necesito, hace siglos que no la escucho."

"Oh, deberías. Mejora con el tiempo."

Alina niega con la cabeza con una sonrisa.

"Quédatela. Además ya no la necesito. Ahora Blaine es quién te lleva en el coche así que..."

"¿Estás dando por hecho que no me llevarás nunca más en tu coche?"

"Bueno... No lo sé" No sabe que responder. Si fuese por él se la llevaría ahora mismo lejos de ahí. Pero no pueden.

De fondo cambia la música del tocadiscos. I want to hold your hand. Y ambos recuerdan aquella tarde en la tienda. No se mueven, saben que deberían seguir empacando, pero ninguno tiene las ganas.

"Te echaré de menos" Roger se vuelve a ver a la chica cuando habla. "Ahora que sois famosos y eso, será todo más difícil. Os espera una vida divertida y algo loca."

"Si. Supongo" Si por el fuera, elegiría esta vida mil veces.

"Os espera la mejor parte"

"A ti también" Roger dice automáticamente, casi sin pensar. "Oye" Toma una de sus manos entre las suyas. "Sé que estás dando un paso enorme mudándote y Blaine es un buen tio aunque sea un poco imbécil... Pero quiero que me escuches algo."

Por primera vez Alina le escucha. Sin peros.

"A ti también te espera la mejor parte. Eres jóven, Miss dancing queen. Y quiero que salgas. La vida ahí fuera es maravillosa. Quiero que conozcas gente, que bailes hasta no sentir los pies, que cantes hasta quedarte afónica. Que cantes tu canción favorita y beses a un extraño en un pub. Siempre he ido de un palo al otro pensando que era jóven, y no me arrepiento de nada. Quiero que tú también vivas esa vida, Alina. Sin ataduras. Que corras los riesgos. Y cuando tengas que comprometerte con alguien lo hagas. Pero después de vivir todo lo que puedas. Esto es todo lo que puedo desear a alguien a quién quiero muchísimo." Sus ojos no se apartan de los suyos, y puede notar las lágrimas de Alina en ellos. "Quiero que cuando seamos viejos podamos recordar las mejores partes de nuestra vida y podamos decir que disfrutamos todo lo posible."

Recuerda sus palabras tiempo atrás. "En todos los momentos más felices de mi vida tu estás en ellos" y ahora sabe que él también está en los suyos.

"Quizá por eso me enfadé tanto aquel día." Roger mete un mechón de pelo detrás de su oreja. "Quería que vivieses la vida al máximo. Y que no te conformes con menos de lo que crees merecer." Sabe que está entrando de nuevo en terreno pantanoso, así que pisa con pies de plomo sobre sus próximas palabras. "Solo... No quiero que te conformes con alguien que te trata como un Seat 127 cuando eres un Dodge Challenger"

Llegados a ese punto, Alina consigue retener las lágrimas, y con confusión lo mira.

"¿Me estás comparando con un coche?" No sabe si reír o llorar cuando Roger responde serio y con toda la sinceridad del mundo.

"Bueno... I'm in love with my car" Una sonrisa escapa de sus labios antes de abrazarla.

CONTINUACIÓN

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mistymazzello · 4 years ago

Text

Illicit Affairs | chapter 4

Joe Mazzello x Reader

summary-Y/N, a failing actress in New York City, is offered an internship as Joe Mazzello’s assistant on the set of a movie. Her seemingly small crush on her boss could get her into trouble, but what does she have to lose?

word count- 6.1k (i got a little carried away)

warnings- smut, unprotected sex, all that stuff. (by reading on you’re confirming that you’re 18+😳)

a/n- i promise this last week and i’m just now posting it and i’m SO SORRY. pls let me know what you think!

based on illicit affairs by taylor swift

September turned over to October, bringing cold weather and days that slowly became shorter. You were done trying to stop your feelings for Joe, there was no stopping how you tirelessly obsessed over him. It made it worse that it almost, almost felt like he was reciprocating. But still, not quite.

Joe finally started lightening up on scheduling, giving everyone a few days off every now and then and not having extremely early call times. This meant you weren’t leaving the apartment at 6 in the morning and coming back at 8 anymore, leaving time for you to be around your roommates. Now, did you want that time? Not exactly.

Cameron had hardly spoken two words to you since everything that happened the previous month, leaving an awkward tension always hanging around the apartment. One morning, the sky completely gray, leaving the city shakingly cold, Cameron walked into the kitchen while you stood on the phone as you poured coffee.

You were talking to Julia, who had called you to ask if you had any time to do some of her busy work for her, which you weren’t necessarily sure if you did, but you agreed to anyway. The phone call ended with her making some Fleetwood Mac reference that you didn’t understand, but you laughed either way. You hung up and set your phone down as you slowly stirred your coffee, Cameron sitting on a stool on the other side of the counter.

“Was that the director?” She asked softly.

You looked up, slightly stunned. “Um, no. Producer.” You answered.

She furrowed her eyebrows. “What does he want?”

“She just has some things that she needs me to do today.” You said. It was weird that she all of the sudden was trying to talk to you.

“So you like working on the movie then?” She asked.

You blinked. Was she trying to actually talk to you? “Yeah, I love it. I think it’s great.”

She nodded. “You think the movie’s gonna be good?”

You could’ve smiled. This was the first conversation the two of you had in weeks. You had to admit, you missed your best friend. “Yeah, actually it looks really good. I’m excited for it.”

You pulled another mug from the cupboard and poured the rest of the coffee you had made into it, sliding it across the counter to her. She accepted it, picking it up to wrap her hands around it.

“I’m sorry that I got so mad.” She said, looking into her mug. It was a little late for an apology, but still, you accepted.

“It’s okay. You were upset.” You shrugged.

She nodded and took a long sip from her coffee, still never looking up to meet your eyes.

“So can we stop being weird now? I miss how things were.” You said, setting your own mug on the counter.

She laughed slightly. “Yes. I was hoping we could stop doing this.” She smiled.

You sighed in relief and finally, things were normal. How they were supposed to be. Things felt more in place than ever as you went to set that day. Today was supposedly going to be very easy, but you had a sneaking suspicion that you were going to be there rather late.

Just as you had suspected, before you knew it, the sky was turning dark. Joe finally called it a day at 8, much to everyone’s relief.

“Go get some sleep, kid.” He hit the back of your head with his clipboard playfully.

“First off, ow.” You laughed, holding your hand to the back of your head.

“Have a good night, Mr. Mazzello.” Beck spoke as he pulled his jacket on.

“You too, Mr. Beck.” He saluted him.

A loud sigh escaped your lips as you wistfully watched him walk away. Why did he have to be so nice to you?

Something you had noticed was how close this cast and crew was. You weren’t as involved in that closeness as you would have liked to be, but you figured it was because you were much younger than all of them, and you were just about at the bottom of the food chain in terms of power.

You saw a few cast members congregating near Joe, so you decided that you weren't going to interrupt to tell Joe goodbye, you figured you could just text him something about heading out instead.

A little ways away from you, Joe saw you waving bye to a few people and his heart sunk. Before thinking, he cut off one of the actors who was talking. “Hey, do you care if I invite Y/N?”

A few people turned around to look in your direction, luckily you had your back turned to them.

“The intern?” One of them asked.

Joe quickly realized how desperate he must have sounded asking like that. “Yeah,” He said, shrugging, “She’s nice, I think you guys would like her.”

He wasn’t lying about that. He knew everyone would like you, and you were nice. But he wanted to invite you because he desperately wanted to spend more time around you, specifically outside of work.

They all agreed, and the conversation moved forward about the bar that they were going to that night. Joe excused himself and jogged over to you, right as you were about to leave.

You saw him coming out of the corner of your eye and you turned in his direction, smiling. “Hey, I was just about to go.”

Disregarding what you said, he asked, “Me and a few people from the cast are going out for drinks, do you wanna come?”

“Tonight?” You responded, a bit taken back. You were a little too excited to be receiving this offer, but you tried your hardest to conceal the smile that was already on your face.

“Yeah.” He said, “I think we’re just gonna uber there in like 20 minutes.”

You weren’t used to receiving invitations like this, especially since you left college. “Oh.” You said, trying not to sound like a complete spaz.

“So if you wanna stick around, I can tell you when we’re leaving?” He said, his hands in his pockets as he rocked onto his toes.

“Yeah, sure.” You smiled, wringing your hands together.

He nodded and looked at the ground. He could hardly believe the way he was acting right now, it reminded him of high school. He was acting like a complete idiot, all because of you. All because of that stupid smile on your face.

“Oh,” he remembered, “and don’t tell Beck. He’s not invited.” He winked before walking away. He really shouldn’t be picking favorites like this, but how could he help it when one of you was a stuck up asshole and the other one was as sweet as you were?

Regardless, you were glad he liked you. It gave you some sort of validation for your feelings, even though deep down, you knew that your crush on him was hopeless.

When you showed up to the bar, it was freezing outside, yet incredibly warm inside. By the time you were shedding your jacket, which was only seconds after sitting down, Joe had ordered shots for everyone, saying that you had to take them in honor of the 12 hour day you had just worked. There were about 11 or 12 of you, spread out between a few booths. The bar wasn’t terribly busy, taken that it was a Wednesday night, but still, this was New York City, so places were always bustling. You were sat by Julia and a few of the other girls, subconsciously clinging to Julias presence like she was your mom. You got talking with a few of them, all of them remarkably talkative. The girl across from you, Charlotte, who was probably the closest to your age out of everyone, began talking to you about the internship.

After you explained the whole situation about how you got the internship, conveniently leaving out the part about Cameron, you were about to ask her about how she had got casted, but she spoke first. “You know, everyone loves you. No offense if he’s your friend, but I think I speak for everyone when I say we prefer you over Beck.”

“Oh, god, he’s not my friend.” You laughed. “He hates me.”

“Oh my god,” Her eyes lit up “He hates me too! I’m always like, dude, you need to calm the fuck down.” She said, picking up her drink to take a sip.

“Me too! He always says I’m unprofessional.” You frowned.

“I think he has some personal issues he needs to sort out.” She said.

“Mommy issues.” Julia piped up before finishing off her glass.

The three of you laughed, the attention shifting swiftly over to the girl sitting next to Charlotte, Lola, who was whispering something in her ear.

“Oh, god, Lola, don’t be gross.” She groaned.

Lola pulled away and grabbed her drink off the table then looked back at Charlotte. “Wish me luck.” She smiled.

You tilted your head slightly as she stood up from the table, walking slowly over to the bar. Wondering what she needed luck for, you tried not to stare as she approached the bar. You didn’t pay any mind to Joe, who was standing next to her, until she began to talk to him.

Your face flushed as you realized what she was doing. She was trying to flirt with Joe. It wasn’t until you looked back at the table until you realized that Charlotte and Julia were both looking at her, too.

Julia looked back and you exchanged a glance. “Is she...?”

“Trying to sleep with Joe? Yes.” Charlotte said, looking slightly disgusted.

You didn’t say anything as you looked into your drink, swirling the glass around as you contemplated your defeat. She was at least 7 or 8 years older than you, much closer to Joe’s age, an established actress, and much more in his league. All at once, you began to realize how stupid you were for ever thinking you and Joe had something between you.

“She could get into big trouble for that.” Julia chided. “It’s in the contract that all of you signed. No relationships.”

“Does fucking count as a relationship?” Charlotte set her chin in her palm.

Julia chuckled. “No, I guess not, if it’s not ongoing.”

“Ah, then she has a chance.” Charlotte said, all three of you turning your attention back to the two of them.

Over at the bar, Joe's mind was scrambling. He wasn’t stupid, he knew what Lola was doing. He’d seen it a million times. He wanted to be nice, but he wanted to cut this off before it went any further and he had to reject her. He had been waiting for the right moment to approach you without making it seem like he was hitting on you. He genuinely just wanted to talk to you.

But, as the minutes passed, Lola was not taking any hints. She continued to talk, continued to touch his arm playfully, even though Joe was reciprocating none of it.

Julia ended up leaving within the next 30 minutes, saying something about how her partying days were far behind her. You and Charlotte stayed at the table, ordering drink after drink, giggling as you talked about your past relationships, it almost made you forget about what was going on across the room.

“I have you beat on the worst breakup.” She laughed. “A guy once broke up with me after I flew across the country to see him. On my birthday.”

You gasped dramatically. “No.”

“Yes.” She laughed. “Arguably the worst day of my life.”

The two of you sat, giggly and tipsy, for a few quiet moments. “Why didn’t I know you were so fun?” She asked “I feel like we’ve hardly ever talked before and we’re around each other everyday.”

You sighed. “I don’t know. I just feel like a bit of an outsider because I’m so much younger than everyone.” You opened up. If you didn’t have any alcohol in your system, you would have never said this to her.

“Aw,” She frowned “Like I said, Y/N, we all love you. Everyone always mentions how sweet you are.”

“Really?” You smiled.

‘Yes, really. Especially Joe. He never shuts up about you.” She said.

You looked into her dark eyes and tilted your head. “What? Really?” Your heart could’ve jumped out of your chest.

“Yeah, he’s always like ‘Oh, I’m gonna wait up for Y/N. Have you seen Y/N yet today? Y/N this, Y/N that” She imitated him, her hands waving around as she did a horrible impression of his voice.

You laughed a little, your smile never faltered. Was she telling the truth? Did he talk about you so much that she had noticed it?

You finally remembered the whole Lola thing, your eyes glancing over the bar. Now they were sitting down, she was leaning over to him, talking, as he took a drink. You sighed and looked back at Charlotte, who was downing the rest of her third or fourth drink.

“I should probably go pull her off of him.” She sighed, her eyes following yours over to the bar. “She’s drunk as fuck, she needs to go home and maybe try again when she’s not wasted.”

She gave you a pat on the head, making you smile, as she stood up. “I’ll see you on Saturday.” She said, giving your head one last pat before walking over to the bar. You watched as she came up behind Lola, resting her hand on her back and giving her a soft smile as she spoke to her. It was obvious that Lola was resisting, but Charlotte was persistent, and she eventually hopped off of her chair and followed her. The two of them waved to you as they walked out of the bar, you gave them a quick grin and waved back. You almost sighed in relief. You had finally made some friends.

Joe was now sitting by himself at the bar, and you alone at the table. As long as you didn’t try anything like Lola did, you didn’t think it would be weird if you went and sat by him. Maybe that was the alcohol talking, but you still got up and walked over to him, pulling the stool out to sit down next to him.

When he had originally heard the stool next to him move, he thought it was just another girl trying to talk to him, and he almost let out an exasperated sigh. But it wasn’t just another girl. It was you. Instead, he sighed in relief.

“Hey, kid.” He said, taking a drink from his beer.

“Hi.” You said, scooting the chair in.

“You have fun?” He asked, setting his beer down to turn to you.

“Mhm.” You nodded. “Charlotte’s so nice.”

“Good.” He gave you a closed mouth smile. “I’m glad.”

You realized that you had left your drink back at the table when you all of the sudden had nothing to do with your hands. Joe must have noticed at the same time, because just as you were about to order something, he beat you to it.

“Can we get two shots of fireball?” He asked.

“Oh god.” You set your face in your palm.

“Don’t worry, you don’t have to drink it.” He said.

“What, you’re going to take both to try and impress me?” You giggled, setting your forearms on the counter.

He shook his head with a small laugh as the bartender handed them over. He set one in front of you and one in front of him.

“Okay.” He started. “Truth or drink.”

“Oh,” You smiled “I can do that.”

“Ladies first.” He smirked, crossing his arms as he looked at you. It almost felt like he was taunting you, his arms almost making you drool as they stretched out his shirt.

You smirked back. Only thinking for a quick moment, you knew what you wanted to ask. “When’s the last time you slept with someone?” You asked, a cocky look on your face. Even if you were crossing a line by asking that, you could hardly care. It felt hotter than it did when you had first gotten there, but that could be coming from the warm feeling in your cheeks from the alcohol. Or because you were blushing. He wasn’t going to answer something like that to you.

He tilted his head slightly, looking at the shot. “Last month?” He estimated. You were a little bit shocked that he answered, and that he didn’t hesitate to do so.

Your eyebrows must have been raised or your eyes must have been wide, because he asked, “What? Did you think I was gonna say 3 years ago?”

“What? No,” You laughed “I just… who?” You asked, almost out of instinct. Almost out of jealousy.

“Nope. Not your turn.” He shook his head. He leaned closer to you, prompting you to lean closer to him. “If you had to have sex with one guy in this bar, right now, who would it be?” He said, his voice low, even though no one around would be able to hear anyways over the buzz of the crowd.

You hummed in thought, turning away from him to look around you. “I think…” You started, turning back to lean forward into him “the bartender down at the other end is cute enough?” You lied.

Joe’s jaw clenched. He didn’t know what he expected, but he couldn’t help but be disappointed. Before he could respond, you cleared your throat, unbeknownst to him that you had noticed his reaction.

“My turn.” You smiled. You went back and forth for a little while longer, desperately trying to ask a question to get the other person to drink, but nothing worked. The bar was loud, there were lots of people around, but still, you could only see each other. You could only feel the way his shoulder was rubbing against yours, you could only smell the whiskey on his breath and you could only think about how much you wanted him right now.

A few rounds later, it was Joe’s turn. He could feel the heat radiating from your face, and he thought your top was ridiculously low cut. Especially when you leaned over the bar. The way your knee would bump his was driving him crazy. It prompted him to come up with this question.

“What’s the oldest you’d be willing to sleep with?” He said, his expression straight and serious.

You reached to rub the back of your neck under your hair as you thought. Your heart began to quicken as you thought of all of the possible responses, until you finally settled on what happened to be one of the most risky answers. “Well,” You began, subconsciously leaning in so you were closer to his face, “How old are you?”

His jaw clenched again, but this time, not out of anger or jealousy. Out of lust and pent up desire. “Oh,” He said, his hand which was already brushing your knee moved from his leg to ghost over the top of yours. “Is that how it is?” His hand came to rest on your thigh, and he slid it so it was just slightly underneath your skirt on the inside of your thigh.

“Joe,” You breathed, closing your eyes as you clenched your thighs, trapping his fingertips.

“Yes?” He spoke softly into your ear, his voice low and sharp.

“Please.” You pouted, still not opening your eyes. His hand was warm on your inner thigh, but not as hot as the heat radiating from under your panties, which you thought Joe could for sure feel.

Just like that, he ripped his hand away from you, earning a whine from your lips as you leaned your head back. He reached into his back pocket and pulled out his wallet, your eyes watched his hands intently. He pulled out a 50 and tossed it onto the bar, then stood up. He grabbed your wrist and pulled you off your chair. “Let’s go.” He grumbled, lightening his grip on your wrist to let his hand slide into yours. He practically pulled you out of the bar, and even though it was a cool fall night outside, you were still burning up.

He hailed a cab quickly as your head spun by how quickly things had turned. Even though both of you were as horny as you had ever been before, he still opened the taxi door for you. You climbed in, settling in the seat on the opposite side of the door before Joe climbed in, telling the driver his address quickly before moving to the middle seat to immediately grab your inner thigh roughly. Your hand wrapped around his bicep, you squeezed his arm to try and distract yourself from the wetness pooling in your underwear. His grip was deathly and his breathing was harsh as the two of you sat in heated silence. You had to physically try to stop yourself from making any further moves on him, opting to rest your forehead on his shoulder. In a moment of sweetness rather than lust, Joe kissed the top of your head lighty. Although the moment did make your heart melt, you still couldn’t focus on anything other than how badly you needed him.

“How far are we from your apartment?” You lifted your head up to whisper.

“Like 2 minutes.” He said. You let out a low, short groan.

“I know, baby.” He whispered.

You had decided that this had been the longest two minutes of your life. Between the way Joe’s legs kept twitching, to how his hand was slowly moving up your thigh, riding your skirt up, you were almost on the verge of tears by the time you pulled up to Joe’s apartment. He handed the driver some money, mumbling something about keeping the change as the two of you climbed out.

He grabbed your hand and you both tried not to sprint into the apartment building. The elevator ride was almost as excruciating as the taxi. You couldn’t keep your hands off of each other, his hand moving from the small of your back to squeeze your ass, earning a sharp breath in from you.

He fumbled with the key as he tried to unlock his door as quickly as possible. As if you could get anymore impatient, you were 2 seconds away from ripping the key out of his hands and doing it yourself when he finally opened the door, grabbing you by the fabric of your shirt and pulling you inside. It was pitch black, the only light coming from the city lights outside the windows. Using the grip he had on your shirt to turn you towards him, he pulled you into him. He kissed you messily, slowly backing you up until your back hit the door. It was a mess of clashing teeth and tongue as you desperately kissed each other, all of the pent up desire coming out all at once. You wrapped your arms around his neck as you stood on your toes to kiss him, his hands moving from your hips to your ass. He slid one of his hands down to the underside of your thigh, lifting your leg up so your knee was at his side. He growled into your mouth and you could only manage a whimper, your mind scrambling for a single coherent thought. He lifted his leg slightly to rub against your core, his jeans creating a rough texture. Instinctually, you grinded against his thigh, but your movements were limited as he had you pinned against the door.

He broke away, moving his lips to bite your earlobe. You let out an exhausted moan, dipping your head back to hit the wooden door behind you. He lifted his leg higher at this, almost lifting you off your feet by your core.

“Joe” You sobbed, your fingers pulling at his hair. You felt him smile against your neck.

He moved his head back up to kiss you again, this time his hands on both sides of your face. This kiss was slower, but just as passionate. He pulled you to the bedroom, not bothering to turn on any lights on his way there, opting to find his way in the dark. You already noticed that he had a habit of pulling you by the fabric of your shirt. Something you could definitely get used to.

Once you did make it to the bedroom, he wasted no time pushing you backwards onto the bed. Your back bounced against the mattress and you sat up on your elbows as he crawled on top of you, meeting your lips again. He grabbed both of your hands and held them for a second, then slowly moved them so they were pinned above your head. His grip wasn’t tight, but it was enough to keep you in place.

He pulled away to hover inches above your face, both of you panting. “I’m gonna ask you this, and I’m only going to ask you this once.” He said darkly, his voice overcome by lust.

You nodded eagerly, yet still staying silent.

“Do you want me to fuck you?” He asked deeply.

You nearly moaned at the tone of his voice.

“Need to hear you say it, baby.” He growled.

“Yes” You cried, begging him to do something.

That must have been a tipping point for him, because he let go of your wrists and tugged at the hem of your skirt, pulling it along with your underwear down and off of your legs. He tossed them to the ground and grabbed you by both of your thighs, lowering himself so his head was in between them.

He groaned as he looked at you, his grip slightly lightening as he admired how wet you already were. He placed a kiss to your lower thigh, looking back up at you. You were splayed out on his bed, your hair hanging in your face, your chest heaving. A sight he could get used to.

From there, he wasted no time diving in between your legs, licking your clit as he wrapped his arms tightly around your thighs, moving your legs so they were over his shoulders.

Your head was spinning as you slammed it back against a pillow on the unmade bed. You were hardly processing what was going on, your vision was blurry and your thoughts all bled together, the only thing you could feel was Joe.

You writhed underneath his touch, bucking your hips. His large hands laid over your stomach, holding you down. “Sit still.” He mumbled against you, the rumble of his voice pulsing through your entire body. You tried to still your hips, unable to stop them from twitching from pleasure.

His fingertips dug into your thighs as he began holding you tighter and tighter. He only ever touched your clit, only using his tongue, but it was more than enough for you. One of your hands was tangled in his hair, and the other was holding onto the pillow under your head. In the distance, but still at an embarrassingly fast rate, you could feel your orgasm coming on.

He must have sensed that you were close, or took a hint from the way you swirled your hips and pulled at his hair, because he smirked against you, then immediately pulled his head away.

“Joe” You whined, your grip on his hair loosening quickly.

He shook his head lightly, climbing back on top of you. He put his hands on either side of your head, and admired you under him for a second, even though you looked slightly disappointed. He leaned down to kiss you slowly, taking the feeling in.

As much as he would love to bask in that feeling and kiss you for the rest of eternity, he didn’t know how much longer he could take not fucking you. He pulled your shirt over your head without warning, leaving you in nothing but your bra.

Deciding that the ratio of clothes-taken-off was uneven, you reached for his belt buckle, grabbing him by the back of the neck with your other hand to pull him back down to kiss you. You fumbled with his belt buckle, trying to figure it out how to get it undone with your eyes closed.

Joe sighed into your mouth, pushing your hands away from his belt to do it himself. You giggled slightly, causing him to try and suppress a grin as you kissed. He took his belt off and you heard it hit the hardwood floor, followed by the sound of his pants unzipping. The thought of what you were about to get nearly made your eyes roll back in your head, the wetness spread across your inner thighs only growing.

You pulled the hem of his shirt up, breaking away from the kiss for only a second to allow him to pull it over his head, disregarding it with the rest of your clothes on the floor. Your fingers danced along the waist of his pants for a moment, then you slipped your hand inside. Joe was an extremely smooth kisser, but his rhythm was interrupted when you cupped him over his underwear, making him stifle his movements. You smirked and held him slightly tighter, making his arms nearly buckle as he groaned into you.

He let your little power trip last for a few more seconds before he grabbed your wrist and pulled your hand away from him. He grabbed your other wrist with the same hand and then held your hands over your head. He let go, but you held your hands where they were as he pulled his pants and boxers off.

Normally, in a situation like this, one you had been in times and times before, you would feel vulnerable. Laying naked on someone else’s bed while they undress, completely and utterly at their demand. But, for some reason, you felt safe and taken care of. You felt so secure in his touches as he set his hand on your thigh, moving himself to settle in between your legs.

He looked at you, your hands above your head as you looked back at him expectantly. He couldn’t help but pump himself a few times before finally lining himself up to your entrance. He reached up and set a hand by your head, the other holding his shaft. He stalled for a moment, taking time to look down at your pussy, sliding his tip up and down your slit.

You lifted your hips expecting him to push himself inside of you. “Please.” You whispered.

He looked back up at you, then leaned over you further, so his face was inches from yours. “Please what, baby?”

You reached up to set a hand on his broad shoulder which was flexed from holding himself up. “Please fuck me.” You begged.

He chuckled lightly. “Aw, sweetheart, all you had to do was ask.” He smiled. He pushed himself into you, and months of tension suddenly came undone.

He bottomed out, and your grip on his shoulder moved down to dig your nails into his shoulder blade. You shut your eyes and pushed your head further back into his pillow. “Oh my fucking god.” You staggered.

Joe couldn’t find it in himself to move right away, basking in the feeling of filling you up. He had thought about this exact moment too many times to take it for granted.

You took the liberty to move your own hips in a circle, causing him to grunt into your ear. He pulled out nearly all the way, then moved back in slowly.

As much as he wanted to take his time with you, the girl he had been obsessed with for the last 3 months finally underneath him, he began to feel himself losing control. His pace quickened at an insane rate, making you want to cover your mouth to try and stifle the ungodly moans coming out of you.

He lowered his head into your neck as he moved his hips against yours, making you lean your head back to expose your whole neck to him.

You felt him bite you softly, making you yelp in surprise. Heart fluttering, your cheeks flushed as he kissed your neck harshly. He began to slam into you harder, moving your whole body with every thrust. Red marks began to form on his back where you had dug all of your nails into his lower back.

His pace only got rougher and rougher as time went on, only making things more and more passionate.

“Joe, oh my god, please don’t stop, please please please please.” You rambled out of bliss. The feeling of build-up from earlier made a return as he lifted himself up, his hands on either side of your head.

He grabbed your thigh and held it up close to his hip, trying to find a better angle for you, he could tell you were close. He realized he had gotten that angle when you yelled out his name, arching your back into him, your voice broken and raspy.

“You close baby?” He asked his tone unrecognizable from the one you normally knew.

“Yes” You cried, grabbing into his hair unintentionally.

He lifted your leg over his shoulder with a grunt, hitting an unimaginable spot. He grabbed your throat to force you to look at him and leaned over you, his nose nearly touching yours. “Come on, give it to me, Y/N.” He growled.

Your vision went white as your orgasm hit you. Your jaw dropped open as he watched you come undone around him. Your whole body pulsed as you gasped for air. He let you come down from your high, riding it out roughly until your eyes fluttered open again.

All at once, he pulled out of you and grabbed your ankle, yanking your leg off of his shoulder. He grabbed your hips and flipped you over onto your knees, then grabbed you by a fistful of your hair and pushed your head down into the mattress. He began slamming into you again, the aftershock of your orgasm not even close to being over yet. You couldn’t do anything but let the tears welling in your eyes spillover as you cried his name over and over.

He pounded into you, his teeth gritted as he pushed your head further down into the bed. He knew he wasn’t going to last much longer, especially not with you like this. He yanked your hair up and pulled you close to him so he could talk into your ear.

“Do you know,” He spat with gritted teeth “how long I’ve waited to fuck you like this?” He wrapped an arm around your body to rub circles on your clit, his other hand moving you grab you by the throat again. “Having to see you, every. Fucking. Day. And not being able to have you? I thought I was crazy, Y/N, crazy for wanting to do the things I wanted to do to you. Things like this. But now I can see,” He began losing control of his body, his rhythm slowing as he could feel himself about to come “the feeling was mutual.”

He came inside of you as your second orgasm hit you out of nowhere, causing you to topple over as his movements slowed, your cum mixing with his. You moaned breathing in and out as he slowly came to a stop. “I’ve got you, baby, I’ve got you.” He sighed.

“Fuck.” He breathed. You sniffed and let out one last sob before he pulled out, causing you to wince. The rest of your body collapsed onto the bed as you panted, trying to catch your breath. He fell onto the bed next to you, the only movement you were able to manage was moving your hands up to wipe the tears off of your face.

Joe reached over and held you by the hip, pulling you to face him. He wrapped an arm around you to splay a hand in between your shoulder blades and moved the other to cup your cheek. His eyes moved from your eyes to your cheek. He stroked his thumb across your face to wipe the tears from your cheeks, your eyes fluttered shut under his touch. “Are you okay?” He spoke softly.

“Mhm.” You hummed lightly. You pressed a hand against his chest and moved to set your forehead on his shoulder. He rolled onto his back and you laid your head against his chest as he wrapped his arms completely around you.

Neither of you said anything, the room silent as your breathing slowly synced together. Joe couldn’t wipe his stupid, blissful smile off of his face as he rubbed your back lightly.

You couldn’t think about anything other than his heartbeat under your ear. Not the contract you signed, not Lola or Beck, not how much money you had and not how Joe was your boss. You only thought about the heartbeat you heard and the boy who owned it.

taglist- @im-an-adult-ish @almightygwil @draconiiian @roveyrove @drummah-in-a-rocknroll-band @lizgarxo @queenmylovely @lelifesaver @ghosttofcalum @freakibanana @coincidence-ithinknots-blog @pomjompish @sadhwstudent @pomjompish @darlingyourebeingabore

#joe mazzello #joe mazzello imagine #joe mazzello x reader #borhap boys x reader #joe mazzello headcanon #borhap boys imagine #joe mazzello fanfic #fan fiction #borhap cast #illicit affairs #john deacon headcanon #john deacon x reader #john deacon imagine #fan fic #x reader

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inthedayswhenlandswerefew · 1 year ago

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Baby You Were My Picket Fence

Series Summary: You are a first grade teacher in sunny Los Angeles, California. Ben Hardy is the father of your most challenging student. Things quickly get complicated in this unconventional love story.

Chapter 1: Bad To The Bone

Chapter 2: Should I Stay Or Should I Go

Chapter 3: Light My Fire

Chapter 4: Dream On

Chapter 5: Paradise City

Chapter 6: Have You Ever Seen The Rain

Chapter 7: Let It Be

Chapter 8: Kickstart My Heart

Chapter 9: Sympathy For The Devil

Chapter 10: I Want You To Want Me

Chapter 11: White Wedding

Chapter 12: Welcome To The Jungle

Chapter 13: Peace Of Mind

Chapter 14: Smoke On The Water

Chapter 15: The Chain

Chapter 16: All Along The Watchtower

Chapter 17: No One Like You

Chapter 18: Surrender

Chapter 19: Stairway To Heaven

Chapter 20: Home Sweet Home

💜 All of my writing can be found HERE! 💜

#ben hardy x reader #ben hardy fic #borhap cast fic

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39sgwil · 3 years ago

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It’s a bit late but I wrote a fic for @50yearsofqueen! It’s an idea I’ve had for quite a while now, so I’m glad I was able to write it!! It’s chaptered so of course there will be more parts!

Prompt: Alternate History/What if... (it’s a time travel fic!)

Summary: Brian goes to sleep in 1981 after a long week of recording Queen’s newest album, and wakes up in 2017, when the filming of Bohemian Rhapsody is taking place. Chaos ensues.

#Queen #borhap cast #Brian May #sorta a friendship fic cause we need more of those!

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doing-all-write · 5 years ago

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Me???? Having 368 followers?? Apparently it’s more likely than I ever thought possible???

Thank you, thank you, thank you to everyone who has read my writing, commented, reblogged, liked, sent me a message and generally welcomed me to this fandom with open arms. I legit was so nervous when I posted my first fic that I hit post and then threw my laptop and phone under my bed bc I was CONVINCED no one would care lskdfjis

Anyway all this to say, sleepover soon? You guys want to send me questions? Blurbs? HC’s? Prompts? Tell me how you’re doing? What you’ve been doing recently? Want to just chat? LET’S DO IT GANG

#i love u all so much omfg #literally i cannot believe this #you guys make my heart flutter and your kind words keep me writing even when I really don't want to #so thank you a million times!#anna speaks #personal #ben hardy fics #joe mazzello fic #borhap cast fic #writing #sleepover #ask me things!! im working on a new fic and need company!!!

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bennyboyjones · 5 years ago

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this is absolutely fucking criminal

#ben #ben hardy #ben jones #6 underground #four #four 6 underground #billy 6 underground #borhap #borhap imagine #borhap cast #ben hardy imagine #ben hardy fic

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21st-centuryliability · 4 years ago

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What Would You Do If I Told You I Love You? (Ben Hardy X Reader) - Part Five

A/N: oof this is one heck of a chapter :)

Warnings: none just fluff, some insinuated stuff but mainly fluff as always

Summary: basically Ben dating a fan :P

Before you could even begin to fathom the idea, yours and Ben’s one year anniversary was right round the corner. The two of you had endless discussions about what you wanted to do for it and all of Ben’s crazy ideas but you both decided somewhere in the middle of nowhere was the best idea. As far as the plans went all you knew was that it was in the middle of nowhere, Ben was determined to keep it secret till you got there.

“I can’t believe we’ve been together a year” Ben grinned as you cruised along the motorway.

“I can’t believe I got so lucky” You teased as Ben chuckled “Please tell me where we’re going?”

“Nope!” Ben smirked as you pouted.

The drive there consisted of singing along to a playlist you had specifically made for the trip, the two of you belting out the Busted classics at the top of your lungs. Ben’s hand was either on your thigh or entwined with yours the entire time when it wasn’t on the gear stick. As the passenger your job was to feed him sweets and pass him his drink when he needed it.

“We’re here” Ben smiled as he turned into what seemed to be endless trees.

“Ben are you messing me about?” You raised your eyebrow at him as he laughed, continuing through the trees.

“Look now” Ben replied softly as you turned to see where you’d really be staying.

It was cabin in the woods, it was quiet and desolate and it was exactly what the two of you wanted. Upon stepping out of the car Ben threw you the keys as he walked round to the boot of the car to get the bags.

“Go look around” He smiled sweetly as he threw one bag over his shoulder.

Ben wasn’t far behind as you opened the front door, taken back as you walked through to the main living area. A cosy corner sofa and cute little log burner with big open windows and doors with a beautiful view of the nature on your doorstep.

“So what do you think?” Ben’s voice appeared softly in your ear as his hands held your hips.

“It’s beautiful Ben” You replied as he walked round you, taking your hands in his.

“Come with me” Ben smiled as he walked you over to the doors that lead out to the veranda and over to the covered object in the corner, lifting the blue cover from it to reveal the hot tub underneath.

“I’m sure we’ll make good use of that” You gave Ben a little smirk as he turned to face you, his hands on your hips like before as he pulled you against him, brushing his lips against yours as he chuckled.

“Oh I’m sure we will”

Once the bags had been taken into the bedroom and the two of you exchanged anniversary gifts you snuggled up on the sofa, allowing Ben to relax a little from driving. You nestled into Ben’s side as he let his head rest against yours, his arm resting along the back of the sofa behind you with both of you putting your feet up on the coffee table, smiling up at the two cards you got one another on the counter of the kitchenette, neither of you quite believing that you had been together for a year.

“What are you up to?” You looked up at Ben who was tapping away on his phone.

“Hmm?” Ben looked down at you, playing confused as you reached for your phone.

“Awh you are such a sop” You smiled at your phone as you tapped through Ben’s Instagram story, the first photo was of the 2 cards on the counter and the second was of both your feet on the coffee table with a caption of ‘a whole year with my love’ and heart emojis.

“You make me happy and I want everyone to know you make me happy” Ben smiled down at you as you tossed your phone aside reaching up to cup Ben’s face in your hand and bring him into a kiss.

“You make me happy too” You spoke quietly as Ben held you tightly to his side.

“Good” Ben placed a kiss on your forehead “Or we’ll have a bit of a problem”

“So when are we getting in the hot tub?” You looked up at him with a grin.

“Go on, go get changed and I’ll start it up” Ben chuckled as you hopped up.

As you walked out onto the veranda in your swimsuit and bath robe Ben darted off to change. Sitting on the edge of the tub, swishing the water with your finger tips as it warmed up you couldn’t help but reminisce on how you got to this point. From that day you bumped into each other trying to get into that coffee shop, to your first date and now your first anniversary that you were spending in a beautiful cabin in the middle of nowhere just you and Ben.

“Are you ready yet my love?” You called out as you heard shuffling around.

“Hold on” Ben replied as you stood up and started walking towards the door as he came out “You’re going the wrong way!”

“I was about to go look for you”

“Here” Ben smiled sweetly as he handed you a glass of champagne.

“Are we getting in then or not?” You smirked as Ben chuckled taking your glass from your hand and placing them both down on the table next to the hot tub.

“Alright impatient” Ben teased as he brought you into a kiss, tugging the tie of your bath robe undone and subtly removing it from your shoulders before taking off his own.

Ben jumped in the hot tub first, holding out his hands for you to help you in before sitting down and tugging at your hips to bring you down onto his lap.

“Happy one year anniversary baby” Ben’s voice was low and husky in your ear as he spoke as he brought you into a more passionate kiss holding you tightly against him as you held his face in your hands.

“Here’s to many more” You smiled as you ran your hand through his hair.

“I can’t wait” Ben looked deeply into your eyes as he spoke, he never thought it possible to love someone as much as he loved you “So you like the cabin?”

“Of course I do, I love it, you did really well my love” You replied with a quick kiss to Ben’s lips.

After a nice relaxing soak in the hot tub you both hopped out to get changed and after having something to eat you both decided the best way to spend the rest of your anniversary was to cuddle on the sofa and watch a movie. As the sun set the night sky shone through the trees, the moonlight lighting up the room. As you relaxed completely into Ben you couldn’t help but notice he was a little fidgety as if something was bothering him.

“Are you ok?” You looked up at him with a smile.

“Hmm? Yeah I’m fine” Ben returned the smile and held you closer but you could see straight through him.

“No you’re not, what’s up? You won’t stay still” You asked again as you sat up.

“I might have another anniversary gift for you” Ben mumbled “But I’m a little scared”

“Right?” You raised your eyebrow as Ben stood up.

“I know it’s only been a year and I should probably wait longer and I really don’t want to push you into it if it is too soon but I don’t think I can wait much longer, I already know” Ben babbled as his hand scrambled in his pocket.

“Ben?” You looked at him a little worried and a little confused.

“I already know I want to spend the rest of my life with you” Ben smiled as he got down on one knee, opening the small box he had been fiddling with previously to reveal the beautiful ring.

At this point you were both emotional messes, Ben was half expecting to be rejected but you knew you were ready for it, you knew Ben was the one.

“You can tell me to piss off if you want too?” Ben chuckled, his face wet from crying “Y/N will you marry me?”

All you could do was nod, too full of emotions to be able to speak as Ben waited anxiously.

“Is that a yes?” Ben smiled sweetly.

“Of course it’s a yes” You finally managed to splutter some words as you stood up and threw your arms around Ben, feeling him take a big sigh of relief as he pulled away taking your left hand in his to gently slide the ring onto your finger.

“You had me worried there for a minute” Ben spoke softly and quietly as you held his face in your hands, his nose gently resting on yours.

“There was no need to worry, the answer would’ve always been yes” You laughed a little as you wiped Ben’s cheeks, the emotion not quite worn off yet “There was something I wanted to tell you but I think you just outdone it”

“Tell me!” Ben was absolutely smitten and over the moon that you had said yes and he could now call you his fiancée.

“I don’t know...” You mumbled as Ben lifted your head with his finger so your eyes met his.

“Please?” Ben gave you the puppy eyes that were even harder to refuse as his eyes were still glassy from crying.

“Alright, but it’s probably not that exciting now” You took a deep breath, Ben’s hands falling to your hips as he waited “I want to move in with you!”

Before you could even get to the end of the sentence Ben had already picked you up of your feet, your legs wrapped round his waist as he spun you round.

“I love you so much” Ben grinned your forehead resting gently on his.

“I love you too Ben” You smiled as he brushed his lips against yours “I don’t think I could’ve asked for a better reaction”

“Are you joking? I never have to leave you again, I’m over the moon” Ben chuckled as he put your down, taking your hand in his, marveling the ring on your finger “and I’m a step closer to calling you Mrs Hardy”

“Hmm I think Mrs Jones sounds better don’t you?” You replied as Ben melted a little more that you wanted to take his real name rather than his stage name.

“I really do love you” Ben brought you into a more passionate kiss, feeling him smile against you.

After all the exciting events you both sat down to watch the rest of your movie ...well at least you tried too, you were both still getting used to the fact you were now engaged and you couldn’t help but think about how you were going to announce it even Ben had already beat you to it, posting simple photo of you in his arms with your hand on his, subtly showing off the ring. In that moment there wasn’t a single nasty comment that could touch you, you had everything you could ever dream off wrapped around you just as Ben had everything he wanted nestled in his arms.

#ben hardy #bohemian rhapsody #borhap #borhap cast #ben hardy fanfic #ben hardy x reader #ben hardy x you #fluff fic #ben hardy fluff #six underground four #six underground billy #six underground #6underground:four #6 underground #pixie #ben jones

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queenmylovely · 5 years ago

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Learning Curve

Summary: Ben hardy x fem!reader. It can be so hard to find the words to ask a significant other for something new.

Word Count: 3.8k

Warnings: cussing, fluff, smut (protected sex [what’s that?], oral sex, fingering, daddy kink, etc.) (18+!! marked with ***)

A/N: It’s finally time for my 500 follower celebration to kick off! According to the polls, this comes in third place, making it the first I’m posting. Thank you so much again to everyone who follows me, including the people that have since I hit 500, cause it’s been a minute, whoops. I’m excited for this one and thank you to Brigid (@illfoandillfie) for reading this over and instilling confidence in me 💖 The other two will hopefully be coming out in as many weeks, so keep an eye out! Any feedback is super appreciated but especially replies, messages, and asks are super helpful for my writing ‘cause I get to hear what you think!

Masterlist

(hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh)

💖💖💖

About six months into your relationship with Ben, you were feeling… fidgety. It wasn’t anything to do with Ben or your feelings for him, those were going strong. And it wasn’t the sex, or at least wasn’t that the sex was bad. In fact, it was amazing and Ben was really good at it and making you feel good, but sometimes it felt like you needed more. And you were pretty sure that you had put your finger on what exactly that more was, but didn't know how to broach it with Ben.

It was something that you had experienced with a couple other boyfriends, though it had happened naturally and in the instances where it hadn’t you had never brought it up. It was in no way the reason any of those relationships failed, you just thought that it’d be best to at least talk about it with Ben because you felt like you were going to be with him for a long time and it seemed right to be honest with him about this and your needs.

The resolution to be honest did not make what you wanted to say any less awkward. You had absolutely no idea how to bring up to your boyfriend, who was seemingly pretty vanilla, that you wanted to call him daddy. When you were in the moment, the word turned you on too much for you to be embarrassed, but in the cold light of day, it always brought some heat to your cheeks because you had a hard time believing that you found it so hot. You weren’t into ageplay and didn’t want to dress up (that’d just require too much effort anyway), but the comforting, cared for feeling you got whenever you were in that particular subspace with a partner was something unreplicatable in any other situation.

You had had to explain some things to Ben in the past. Stuff like the purpose of safewords and how they’re used for instance. He knew all about consent and always made sure the both of you wanted to do what you were doing and were having a good time, but safewords had never come up with previous partners. You had decided on yours together: cactus. Something short and easy to say that would never come up in during sex out of context. Plus cacti were cute. Now, every time either of you would see one in real life, you’d point it out to the other and giggle together at your shared secret.

There were other things that you had taught Ben about like bondage (so far just handcuffs around the headboard), spanking (he still wouldn’t slap your ass very hard, but that was okay), and even some toys (both of you really liked vibrators). But for some reason, this was the time that you were the most apprehensive. Maybe because this was the first time that it was something that was about you, it was one of your kinks, and it wasn’t shared by everyone. In fact, some people couldn’t handle it at all and didn’t understand why anyone would like it. If Ben was one of those people, you didn’t want to make him uncomfortable by bringing it up. And, you didn’t want Ben to see you differently or judge you because you couldn’t imagine breaking up at this point. So you were nervous about letting something as relatively trivial as this get in the way of your budding relationship.

You decided to take a couple of days to figure out what you wanted to say and to hype yourself up. It also wasn’t really fair to assume that Ben would judge you. He had been so understanding and empathetic towards you with all things (not just sex stuff), so there was no reason to think he’d be any different with this, even if he didn’t think he’d enjoy it.

For the time being, you decided to keep your plans with Ben and try to stay in the moment without obsessing over what you were going to say. That kind of obsessing was best left for when you were trying to fall asleep.

This afternoon, you were going over to Ben’s apartment and planning on spending the night. His project at the moment was shooting in London, so you were seeing a lot of each other, which was good because you couldn’t seem to get enough of each other. After spending practically every other night at each other’s place for about two weeks straight, you had exchanged keys so it would be easier to see each other whenever. That was about a week and a half ago, and it had been so nice since.

So around 4:00pm when you let yourself into his apartment and called out for Ben and heard nothing back, you weren’t surprised. He had told you that he would be done sometime between 3:30-4:30pm, so you weren’t bothered. You slipped off your shoes and socks then went to set your little overnight bag in his bedroom. Then you headed to the kitchen, washed your hands, and grabbed a glass of water, scrolling on your phone for a minute.

Before you did anything else, you heard the front door open and started heading to it. As you were walking through the doorway, you heard Ben call out, “Babe?”

You smiled at him as he noticed you and his entire face brightened when he saw you. As you walked closer he reached his arms out to you and you giggled then ran into them. He pulled you tight to him, so tight you were lifted onto your tiptoes and you laughed. Ben joined in your laughter before pulling back to press a kiss to your lips. The kiss was short because you were both still laughing a bit, just so happy to see each other. You imagined that to anyone else you might be insufferable, but you didn’t really care.

“How are you?” you asked Ben, dropping your hands to rest on his chest.

His were still strong around your waist, “Good, happy to see you. You?”

“Same, so happy to see you,” you replied, rubbing your thumbs back and forth on his chest.

“You’re too fucking cute,” Ben muttered, leaning back in for another kiss. This one was longer and had some heat behind it that made you sigh happily into it. Ben swiped his tongue along your lower lip and you gave him access, getting a bit lost in the kiss as his tongue teased along your own. His hands slid down to your ass, just feeling at first. But then his grip strengthened and you knew what he wanted. Ben was a big fan of carrying you into whichever bedroom you were going to have sex in, feeling you up and making out on the way. But right now, there were other things to do.

“Ben,” you said against his lips because he wasn’t letting you break the kiss.

“Hmm?” was his only reply, so you pushed gently on his chest.

“We have to go start dinner, remember?” you asked, tilting your head towards the kitchen.

Ben frowned and threw his head back, groaning, “Do we?”

“Yeah, we do. We have to start this part and then we wait an hour and a half and then we can do the rest. So we have one and a half hours of time to fill after these fifteen minutes of work. Does that seem doable?” you said, giving Ben a look.

He finally realized what you were saying and smirked back at you, nodding. The two of you headed into the kitchen and Ben washed his hands and you both started on the meal prep. You were making homemade pizza, something that you were pretty used to doing but that Ben was still learning. For the best results the recipe said to make the initial dough and then let it rise for an hour and a half before rolling it out and making the pizza. It was a small pre-planning sacrifice to make for some of the best pizza you had ever had.

It was quick work, just combining the ingredients and kneading the dough for a couple minutes. You did a sort of reverse-Ghost move wherein you were Patrick Swayze teaching Ben’s Demi Moore how to work the dough. He was a quick learner and wanted to switch positions right away, but you knew that’d just distract both of you.

Once the dough was rising and both of your hands were cleaned of flour and sticky dough, Ben pulled you to him and kissed you. His hands came to your waist as his tongue swept along your lower lip. Then he lifted you to the counter and you made a sound of surprise, feeling his chuckle vibrate on your lips. Your legs spread wide to accommodate him and he got close to you, roaming your body with his hands. Resting your hands on his chest again, you lightly scratched down his torso causing him to groan deeply and rock his hips into yours. The feeling made you want him closer so you wrapped your legs around his waist to keep him that way, but before you even got settled again, he used that opportunity to pick you up.

You broke the kiss for a moment to laugh but went right back to it, loving his soft lips against yours. Ben carried you down the hallway, using one hand to hold you up and the other to feel you up. Once you got in his bedroom, you glanced towards the mirror as you usually did (because it was fucking hot to see Ben all over you) and let out a laugh when you saw that your ass was covered with flour.

“What’s so funny?” Ben asked you, already laughing due to your infectious smile.

“Look what you did to me,” you gestured to the mirror and Ben looked, breaking fully into laughter as well.

“Sorry, babe,” Ben replied insincerely and then you felt his free hand spanking your ass repeatedly, hard enough to make you moan.

“d--Ben!” you exclaimed, surprised by the change of pace.

“Just getting the flour off. What did you think I was doing?” he asked you with a smirk.

“I- um, nothing,” you replied quickly, but Ben knew exactly what you were thinking and exactly what he was doing. You tried to divert the subject, “Can we get on the bed now?”

“Of course, babe. We can do anything you want,” Ben replied, making strong eye contact that made you swallow thickly.

***

Ben sat down on the bed so that you were straddling his legs and pulled you right up against him. The two of you started working your hips against each other, your clothed pussy rubbing along Ben’s hardening cock and creating that sweet friction that made your mind fuzzy. Ben kept his hands on your waist to help guide you and yours moved up to his shoulders to anchor yourself. The kiss was also driving you into the moment, the feeling of his lips against yours, the movement of his tongue with yours, and his hot breath on your face whenever you broke apart to breathe made you want more.

Soon you broke apart to take off your shirt and Ben did the same. Then you took off your bra and Ben switched his attention to your breasts, lavishing them with kisses and licks, intermittently sucking on your nipples and nipping them just enough to drive you crazy. When you started moving your hands to Ben’s waistband, he flipped the two of you over instead so that you were laying in the middle of his bed and he was on top of you. Then he started to take off his pants and underwear, you rushing to do the same.

Ben kissed you again deeply, taking your breath away. He pulled away and started kissing your neck, making you moan. Then he said into your ear, “What do you want?”

“Fingers, your fingers, Ben,” you replied breathily, already desperate for him.

Placing another kiss to your neck, Ben ran his hand down your body lightly, raising goosebumps along your skin and making you shiver in anticipation. His hand reached your pussy and he just placed his hand there for a second, making your breath deepen. Then he put a finger at your entrance, getting it wet with your arousal and sliding it along to your clit. He rubbed little circles, making you hum in pleasure. Continuing to kiss and suck at your neck, Ben switched so that his thumb was rubbing at your clit and slowly pressed a finger into you. Your breath hitched and you felt Ben smile against your skin.

The combined feelings of his fingers and lips were making you a little hazy in the best way, the good feeling taking away anything unimportant and leaving only you, Ben, and how he was making you feel. But you wanted to make him feel good too, so you reached a hand down and wrapped it around his cock, smiling slowly when you felt his moan on your neck. You pumped him in time with his finger’s thrusts into your cunt, and that only made you want him inside of you more.

Ben added another finger and you gasped at the stretch, the feeling making your pussy clench and your hand speed up around Ben. Between the pleasure Ben was giving you, his reactions from what you were giving him, and how desperate you were for more, your mind was reeling.

Then Ben’s fingers found your g-spot and you cried out, unable to help yourself, “Oh--oh, daddy!”

You hardly knew what you said but felt Ben’s hips thrust into your hand a couple times and his fingers press harder for a second before his mind caught up with… the rest of him and everything stopped. Ben slowly removed his hands from you and moved your hand from him, propping himself up on his side to look at you.

“Um, we-- I think we should talk--”

“Oh, Ben, I’m so sorry,” you cut him off, covering your face in your hands. “I wanted to talk to you about this, I was going to soon. I didn’t mean to just spring this on you, or make you uncomfortable…”

There was a pause where Ben looked thoughtful. Then he spoke up, “You don’t have to be sorry. I’m not upset, I was just… surprised. This is something you’ve thought about?”

You felt your cheeks heat up but dropped your hands and nodded, explaining, “Yeah, it’s something that I’ve experienced before and I’d like to with you, if you’re okay with it, I know it’s not everybody’s bag.”

“Why do you like it?” Ben asked, it wasn’t accusatory, just curious.

Laughing a bit nervously, you stumbled as you tried to tell him, “W-well… I just-- I just get this really comforted feeling from it. And it’s also a power-control thing I guess, which you know I find really hot. The… giving up of control but with a whole undercurrent of trust and care is what it is, for me. And maybe because it’s so dirty.”

With the last sentence you covered your face again and breathed out quickly. Then you rushed out, “Not that it has anything to do with father issues or anything. I do not call my dad ‘daddy’ and it’s not about age for me either. Just so we’re clear about that.”

Ben nodded slowly and because you were so nervous, his face was unreadable. Then it was his turn to surprise you when he asked, “How does it work?”

That’s what he had asked you with all of the other things you had taught him about, and while you knew it wasn’t an absolute yes, it was closer to that than the no that you were expecting. You put your hands down again and turned to look at him better.

“Um, okay. Basically, I would, um, call you ‘daddy,’ and would answer you with ‘yes daddy’ or ‘no daddy’--”

“What would I call you?” Ben asked like he couldn’t help himself.

“Oh, you could call me whatever you want, but usually stuff like sweetheart, angel, baby girl, princess,” you told him and he nodded so you continued. “And you’d, um, be in control. Like, you’d tell me what to do and would be in charge of me.”

“Could you give me an example?” Ben asked, grabbing one of your hands and starting to play with it. Not so much to distract himself but to calm you.

“Mhmm, so orgasm control’s a common one. Like--”

“Like it’s up to me whether you can come or not?” he interjected, and it was hard to tell whether or not his voice was deeper than usual.

“Y-yeah, because--”

“Because daddy owns your pussy, doesn’t he, angel?” Ben asked and your head spun at how quickly the energy changed between you, and you got wetter at the same time.

“Yes,” you replied.

“Yes who?” Ben asked with an edge in his voice.

“Yes, daddy,” you corrected quickly.

“Good girl, angel. Now what to do with you?” he mused, bringing your hand up to his mouth and kissing each pad of your fingertips. The contemplative way he looked at you had you squirming in place, anticipating everything that he could do. “Why don’t you sit up against the headboard, angel? I want to taste that sweet cunt.”

“Yes, daddy,” you replied, moving quickly to where he said to go.

As soon as you were sat there, Ben laid down in front of you, using his hands to push your legs wide apart. Immediately Ben bent his head down and licked at your entrance, sliding his tongue all the way up to your clit and circling.

“So fucking wet for daddy, huh angel?” he said, looking up to see your reaction. Your eyes were practically rolling back into your head at just that and you reached down to thread your fingers through Ben’s hair.

“Please, please, daddy, keep going,” you replied, not quite able to look down at him still, but sighing in relief when his mouth went back to your pussy.

Ben sucked your clit, then used his tongue to press on it, constantly switching to keep you on edge. You couldn’t help your hips bucking up to his mouth as you got closer, but his hands on your thighs kept you from being able to do it too much. Ben could tell that you were getting close by the loud moans leaving your mouth and the way he had to hold you down tighter to stop your writhing.

“Now since this is my pussy, I don’t want it to come yet,” Ben said, pausing his movements to look up at you sternly and you whined in frustration. He continued, his voice dripping with condescension, “Oh is that hard, angel? Don’t worry, I do want this cunt to come, I just wanna feel it on my cock.”

“Oh, yes, yes, please, daddy,” you babbled, so relieved and excited that he was going to fuck you.

Moving up your body, Ben placed kisses to each of your hips, in between your breasts, and along your collarbone before reaching over to his bedside table. He grabbed a condom and put it on, swiping his dick through your wet folds.

Easing inside of you, you both let out a shaky sigh once he bottomed out. You moved to wrap your legs around him, but he stopped you, pressing your legs to either side with his hands like before.

“daddy wants you like this, angel,” Ben murmured against your lips and you nodded, breath quickening at his words.

Then he started a punishing pace into you, making you cry out again, “daddy, oh-- oh yes!”

Ben’s hips snapped into yours when you said that, eliciting another bout of moans from you. Your hands clung one on Ben’s shoulder, the other reaching up to his hair again. More because you knew Ben liked it than because you wanted dominance or anything, you tugged on the short hair at the nape of his neck and Ben groaned at the feeling.

Everything that was happening was pushing you swiftly to the edge again and you tried to let Ben know, “I’m-- I’m-- close, so so--”

Ben slipped one of his hands from your thigh to your clit, rubbing quick circles, “That’s it, angel, come for daddy. Wanna feel you clenching around my cock.”

You did, shakily crying out “d-daddy!” as the pleasure grew and broke out across your entire body, both hands holding tighter to where they were. And it was the pull on his hair, your pussy pulsing around his cock, and your uneven cry that set Ben off.

He came with a high, strained moan, thrusting twice before burying himself in your heat and holding there. As you both came down, he kissed from the tops of your breasts, up your neck, finally finding your mouth. His soft lips comforted you as you came down from your high that had honestly worn you out quite a bit.

You smiled sleepily at him when he pulled away and pulled out, lying on his side next to you after taking off the condom, tying it off, and tossing it on the floor. Turning on your side to face him, you tangled your legs together, cuddling into his warm chest and tucked your head in the crook of his neck.

Leaning your head up, you pressed a soft kiss to the side of his neck and whispered, “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome angel,” he said in his rumbly after sex voice and you shivered.

“That needs to stay reserved for this. If you say that in general conversation I’ll be a mess,” you told him.

He chuckled and nodded, “Okay, but same goes for ‘daddy.’ Unless you wanna be fucked hard in the next empty room we find, we gotta save it for private.”

You nodded your assent as well, but both of you tucked that information away in your heads for future use.

***

Ready to pass out in his arms, you settled into them, sighing contentedly as you did. Ben’s hand rubbed soothingly along your back and he hummed softly under his breath.

He could feel your breathing evening out, so he said, “We can nap for a bit, but remember that in about forty-five minutes, our dough will be ready and we gotta make pizza.”

You buried your head further into his neck and groaned, “Do we?”

Ben laughed and replied, “Yes, you made me make food before sex, and now I’m gonna make you eat before sleep. Or at least show me how to finish it so I can eat. You know I can’t go to sleep on an empty stomach.”

“Okay, okay. Forty-five minute nap it is,” you replied, tapping his arm so he would continue his movements before. He did with a light laugh, starting to hum again because he knew how much it comforted you. You pressed one last kiss to his skin before sleep claimed you and your body relaxed into his.

💖💖💖

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heysweetheart-writes · 4 years ago

Text

Call off the search for your soul (or put it on hold again)

Pairing: Hardzello (Ben Hardy x Joe Mazzello)

Words: 2930

Warnings: Minor cursing

A/N: I’ve had this in my mind for months and I’m so happy I wrote it and finished it! Also fun fact, I debated about making Ben a stripper or not because of the song it’s inspired by. (might fuck around and write one like that too haha)

2nd A/N: I’m reposting this because I heard tumblr eats the posts that contains links and it got half the notes it usually gets so I’ll leave the link for whoever wants to read it on AO3 or listen to the song in a reblog!

The bar where he’s sat at, in a booth in the far back, is dark and half empty and it smells like cheap liquor and smoke. It shouldn’t smell like smoke, people are not supposed to smoke indoors but they do here and that would have been a deciding factor for Joe to never set foot in a place like that, and he was going to do exactly that. The booze is terrible and the music isn’t great either so he thought that that was his first and last time there. But he keeps coming back, night after night, because his now usual seat gives him a direct view to the bar. And that’s where he first spots him.

Right when he was about to finish the disgusting drink he had in his hands and head home, he looked up from the glass and caught a glance of a blond at the bar, half bent over it, greeting the bartender with a quick hug before he settled and not a minute later, without asking, he has his drink in front of him and a lit cigarette on his lips.

Joe didn’t know what it was but he couldn’t look away. Well he did know what it was actually. The man might be one of the most gorgeous creatures he’s ever seen and he’s fascinated.

So his plans of never setting foot in that filthy bar change when 12 hours later in the bright light of day, he can’t stop thinking about the blond in the brown bomber jacket and combed back hair and that night, he’s there again. And so is the blond. But he doesn’t do anything other than watch him because after an hour there’s a girl next to him. He buys her a drink, she laughs too hard at his jokes and they leave together not long after that.

You would think that this would be a sign and that he should have stuck to his original plan of never returning to this place. He would think the same. Yet night after night for a month, he sits at that booth at the back of the bar with that perfect view and watches the blond leave with a different person each night.

It makes him angry. It makes him drink more every night.

What if I try? What if I stop?

Tonight is different from every night he’s been here. The blond is at the bar as usual, but he’s been drinking alone for the past two hours. His only company, the bartender who he chats with whenever he’s not busy. Joe waits. People stop by but no one stays for long. And he doesn’t leave with any of them. Maybe he’s not picking anyone tonight… Joe thinks. Maybe… I could try. After all, it’s not like I want to fall in love with him, I just want to know– how he feels like.

And he downs his drink. And he puts it down. And he gets up.

With a firm step - as firm as he can after two hours of drinking - He walks to the bar and sits a stool away from the blond.

“Two vodka sodas, please,” He asks and looks at the bartender and then at the blond and the bartender nods, giving the blond a quick look, then moving to prepare the drinks and hand them.

“Thanks, mate” The blond man nods at him with his drink in hand and gives it a sip. Joe nods back and does the same.

There’s a moment of silence. The blond doesn’t seem remotely interested. Doesn’t even ask why he bought him the drink, doesn’t even look at him more than once. Nothing. Then, he should say something. He’s come here, bought the drink. He’s clearly the interested one. So why can’t him?

Joe downs this drink quickly, licking his lips after and waits for a moment to let it hit him after the burning but slightly sweet sensation down his throat. He shakes his head, a slight buzz there now and it’s all he needs to turn to the blond.

“I think I might know you from somewhere,” He blurts out, head turned to the blond and he looks back at Joe for a moment. The seconds tick loudly in his ears and he just realized he knows nothing about this man and where they could have possibly met and doesn’t know what excuse he’s going to give out if he asks where. But he doesn’t.

“I don’t think so.” He deadpans and Joe nods again and looks back at his empty glass now.

Silence again.

Well, that was a long shot anyway and Joe is drunk, and humiliated now, so he better collect the little dignity he has left and just make a graceful exit to never to never set foot in that place again. He pays for the drinks and makes his way out without looking back. Outside, he stands by the bar’s wall, head resting back and eyes closed, catching his breath while he debates if he should call a cab or walk home at 3am.

“Wanna go for a walk?” Joe hears, followed by the click of a lighter and he opens his eyes and turns his head towards the voice, wondering if he’s too drunk he’s imagining this when he sees the blond standing in front of him.

“Sure,” but he answers without a second of hesitation and follows wherever the blond leads him.

The cold air hits his warm cheeks as they roam the city in silence and Joe’s feeling all kinds of confused but can’t help but keep walking. In his mind, he’s going through a million things he wants to say. Talk about how he’s watched him this whole time. Tell him he keeps coming back to that bar because of him. Ask him a million questions.

“You know,” His thoughts are interrupted by that voice again, that deep sweet voice. Joe dreamt about that voice for the past month, about actually hearing it close. Hear it directed towards him. And in all that time he never imagined it to be this perfect. “After watching me for weeks, I thought you’d do more than just buy me a drink and leave,”

Fuck.

What does he do now? Joe remains silent while the million thoughts running through his mind suddenly multiply by another million. It’s like this guy is training his brain for a marathon because he makes it run and run and stress and perhaps, if he wasn’t this drunk he would possibly be having a panic attack. Typically Joe would have something to say now. He prides himself on being quick witted and he usually has an answer to everything, a jab, anything. But now he sighs.

“I’m sorry,” he says, hands deep in his pocket, teeth digging into the inside of his bottom lip and eyes trained on the top of his boots. The blond man says nothing to that but he feels him watching. “They made it look easy– I thought maybe I could do it too. Just come up to you and you’d take me wherever you take them,”

They come to a stop on their walk and Joe doesn’t exactly know where they are but a minute ago they walked over a bridge and now, the man made a stop in the middle of it, a river and the city night by their side. It’s a great view and he makes it all the more beautiful and Joe really wants to kiss him.

“You didn’t seem interested.” Joe continues and shakes his head, turning to lean over the bridge and look somewhere that isn’t the blond before he starts staring.

“You didn’t say anything interesting,” He takes a pack of cigarettes and takes out one, lits it quickly, taking a long drag and exhaling a cloud of smoke into the crisp air of the night, then turns around and imitates Joe’s position, resting his forearms on the bridge and looks at him. He takes another drag, a quicker one this time and blows the smoke away from Joe’s face. “well-?” he asks, his head tilted to the side. “I’m sure you got more than ‘I think I know you from somewhere’, come on,”

“Did you just bring me out here to mock me? Because I think I humiliated myself enough tonight for you to give it a go too, thanks,”

Joe steps back from the bridge and gives this beautiful asshole a last look before he walks away. He doesn’t even know where he is or where he’s supposed to go, this isn’t his city. He’s been here a couple of times but never at night and never drunk and alone this late. But he’d rather walk aimlessly for a while than go back to his place and end the night by admitting defeat. So much for trying things without a plan. That’s not who he is. He plans everything to a T. Everything has a place and a time. But not him. Not whenever he walked into that bar to see him. And it felt freeing somehow.

“I wasn’t trying to humiliate you,” he hears behind him and turns his head so fast it almost started spinning. “maybe we can start again? And maybe you can stop walking away from me?” The blond pauses while Joe examines his face and tries to figure out if he’s pulling his leg right now or if he’s seriously trying to talk to him. “I’m Ben,”

“Joe,” he turns around again and starts walking and is glad that the blond man, Ben, is following him.

“Where are you from?”

“New York,”

“Fancy,” Joe turns his head and Ben seems to be smiling. Or smirking. Is he playing him? “Why are you here then, Joe?”

Joe sighs deeply. “umm, vacation. Just taking a break from everything.” Do half truths count as a truth or a lie?

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to,” Ben shrugs with his hands stuck in his jacket, cigarette long gone again but Joe has a feeling it won’t be the last.

“Why that bar?” Joe asks suddenly and unprompted and looks back quizzically at Ben.

“Oh the pub? Cheap booze, easy people.”

Joe snorts a laugh and shakes his head. “I don’t think you’d have any problem picking up people anywhere,” He says before he can stop himself but when he looks back at Ben, expecting a smug look, he’s blushing instead.

“What about you? Why that pub?” Ben counter asks him and Joe sighs again as they keep walking nowhere.

“I wanted a drink one night, saw it, got in, thought it was disgusting and was about to leave,” Joe mumbles quickly looking down, then up at Ben. “and then I saw you,”

“What about me?”

They hold their gaze for a few seconds and Joe looks away and stays silent. He’s gonna make me say it isn’t he? Joe wonders if this is what Ben wants. If he gets off on people telling him how beautiful he is. If he’ll sleep with anyone who compliments him. And if he will, then why not try it himself. After all, that’s all he wants, right? It’s not like I’m falling in love or anything. He tells himself again. Just one night, let him lose his mind.

“I thought you were one of the most beautiful people I’ve ever seen in my life,” Joe blurts out first and then looks back at Ben.

He’s not looking back. And he’s flushing again. For a moment, he looks like someone who doesn’t get complimented very often and Joe is growing more and more confused by the second. And curious too. What does he want anyway?

They don’t talk for a while after that. They just walk aimlessly through the sleeping city and further into the night that’s slowly going to sleep as well, just like everyone else. Soon, morning will find them lost in silence and thought, remnants of what the night left behind for the sun to see when it comes up.

Joe notices they’re slowly coming back to where the pub is and he knows how to get to his place from there and so he starts going in that direction, leading the way now and Ben follows suit without question.

A few blocks more and Joe notices he’s fumbling through his pockets. Another cigarette for sure.

“Do you mind if I take your picture?”

Ben doesn’t have a cigarette in his hand, instead, he has his phone. Joe squints his eyes.

“Why?”

Ben shrugs, “The dawning light suits you,”

Joe watches the blond and hesitates but ends up nodding and stepping away a little as Ben does too. And in that moment he knew that he would do anything this man asked him right now. Anything.

He doesn’t know exactly what to do. He looks at the phone. And down. And away. And waits. Ben doesn’t say anything and after a few clicks he’s walking up to him. Closer and closer. Closer than he’s been all night, so close their shoes are almost touching. Joe notices they’re actually the same height even if it felt like Ben was taller than him. Or maybe it was just his mind, idealizing this perfect stranger.

“They’re good,” Ben nods, swiping through the pictures in a way Joe can see them too but all Joe can see is his lips so close to his own and feel his breath just over his face.

“If you say so,”

“I can send them over to you– if you give me your number,” Ben hands him the phone and looks up at him.

“Is this your move?” Joe asks. He doesn’t take the phone. “you could’ve just asked for my number, didn’t need to take the pictures,”

Ben seems irritated by the accusation so he locks his phone and puts it away. He starts walking again. Obviously, Joe follows after he swallows hard. Did he just hurt Ben’s feelings? They haven’t even kissed and he’s already hurting the blond? That has to be some kind of record.

“You could’ve just asked me out, didn’t need to buy me a drink and fuck off,” Touche, “But no, that wasn’t a move. I like taking pictures.”

Silence again and Joe feels like shit. But the night is coming to an end and just around the block is his hotel. Then they’ll never have to see each other again and tonight will be just a weird blip in Joe’s mind. Although he has a feeling it’ll be a while until he can forget today.

So he takes a few steps past Ben and crosses the street and a minute later, they’re by the hotel’s entrance.

“Well, this is me,” Joe states and they’re standing in front of each other, both looking down at their shoes but then Joe looks up, “Sorry for wasting your time,” Ben doesn’t look up.

Joe turns around and is about to head inside when he feels Ben’s hand on his arm grabbing him and turning him around. That hand moves to his lower back and his other hand comes up to cup his face and then, he’s finally tasting those pink full lips he’s been dreaming about for weeks, that he’s been wanting to taste all night. He closes his eyes and gets lost in it. Melts in Ben’s arms so much he feels like he’s going to turn into liquid at his feet so he clings to him, grabbing at his jacket just to feel like he’s real, he’s there in his physical form.

The kiss is different from every other kiss Joe has had in his life. It makes him feel like it’s the first time he’s been kissed. Like there was a right way of kissing and he’s only finding out now that he’s been doing it wrong all this time. But if it took him 36 years of wrong kisses to finally find the right one, it was definitely worth the wait. He didn’t know that a kiss should make you feel like you are not the owner of your own body. That you have to feel it fill spaces you didn’t know were empty. Joe certainly did not know a kiss could change you. Change your life forever.

When they break away from the kiss, Ben is still holding his face close and looking into his eyes and Joe is close to running away because it’s possible that no one has ever looked at him this intensely and it makes his stomach turn and his throat close.

“I wanted you to come up to me,” Ben whispers, “I was waiting all night. I sent everyone away. I wanted to see if you’d finally get the courage to come talk to me,”

“I– ” Joe doesn’t know what to say.

“Come back again tomorrow and maybe we can start again,”

“Why me?”

“No one’s ever come back for me before, they never do. I give them what they want and that’s that. And even if I don’t, they move on. Not you.”

“What if I do?”Joe asks and he can feel his heart right in his throat, “What if you give me what I want and that’s that?”

“Can’t wait to find out,” Ben smiles and brings him back in for another kiss before he lets him go and starts walking back, with his eyes still on Joe. Then turns around and Joe watches him get lost into the night.

_________________________________

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#hardzello #hardzello fic #hardzello au #hardzzello #my fic #ben hardy #joe mazzello #borhap fic #borhap cast

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mistymazzello · 4 years ago

Text

Illicit Affairs | part one

Joe Mazzello x reader

summary- Y/N, a failing actress in New York City, is offered an internship as Joe Mazzello’s assistant on the set of a movie. Her seemingly small crush on her boss could get her into trouble, but what does she have to lose?

warnings- cussing

word count- 3.7

a/n- i’m sorry i promised this like 2 months ago and i’m just now posting it, but i’m so excited for you guys to read this!! please let me know what you think and if you’d like to be added to the tag list!

based on illicit affairs by taylor swift

You were finally starting to understand what people meant when they said “New York Minute”. It might seem like a silly phrase people use to describe when time is going fast, but now you’re sure that time is going faster than usual as you ran down the busy New York streets. You quickly wove through people as rain pounded on your hair and your brand new outfit, but you had no time to worry about your now drenched blouse. You were on the verge of tears as you ran down the steps to the subway, checking the time to see that you had 19 minutes.

You fished through your purse to retrieve your metrocard, shivering from the surprisingly freezing august rain. You swiped the card and the machine let out a loud beep at you. The card was declined. With only 18 minutes until your audition, tears finally began to well in your eyes.

“Please no. Please not now.” You groaned out loud, swiping the card again only to get the same result. “Please please please just work.” You whined.

“Havin’ some trouble there?” A man standing behind you observed.

You laughed sarcastically and tried the card again. “Yeah, seems like it. I think the universe just hates me today.”

“Maybe try swiping it the other way?” He wondered.

You tried. Nothing.

You groaned and put your face in your hands. “This isn’t happening.”

“Hey, sweetheart, calm down.” He reached forward and swiped his own card twice. “See? All good.”

The small gate opened and he gestured for you to walk through. Your eyes softened and you sighed lightly. “Thank you.” He nodded as you walked through. “You didn’t need to do that.” You said as he walked through to join you on the other side. You crossed your arms as your hair dripped onto your shoulders, causing you to shiver again.

“I think I did, you were holding up the line.” He joked with a smile on his face. “I’m Joe.”

You let out a small laugh as you turned towards him. “Y/N.” You stated.

“Well, Y/N, your fucking soaked.” He laughed.

You nodded and looked down at your clothes. “I’m gonna have to go into an audition looking like this.”

He looked your body up and down and then met your eyes again. You watched as he began to take his jacket off of his shoulders.

“You don’t have to do that, seriously.” You stated.

He pulled the jacket fully off of himself and held it out to you. “Well I’m going to. Here.”

You gave him a small smile and took it from his hands. Slowly putting the jacket on, you looked at him. “It’s weird meeting a nice New Yorker.”

“Rare, I know.” He laughed.

You pulled the jacket over your shoulders and wrapped it tightly around your waist.

“Better?” He asked.

“Mhm.” You hummed. “I’m like, never gonna see you again, are you sure you wanna give this to me?”

“Yes, I’m sure.”

Your train was announced over the loudspeaker and you screwed your eyes shut.

“Shit, I’m sorry I have to go!” You said, backing up quickly.

“Good luck!” He shouted back, watching you disappear into the distance, a small part of him wishing he was 10 years younger so he could ask you for your number without seeming like a creep.

The second you turned around, you wished you had just ditched the audition and taken the same train as him, giving yourself 15 extra minutes with him. New York is a big city, and you knew you’d never see him again, but you couldn’t help but hope that there was some kind of invisible string that will pull the two of you back together. A small smile rested on your lips as you boarded the train, trying to remember the exact details of his face. Taking a seat, you drew in a breath, subconsciously wrapping the jacket tighter around your waist. Usually, you would find it weird and uncomfortable if a random stranger paid for your train ride and gave you his jacket, but something about him made you feel comforted and safe.

You soon realized that skipping the audition to stay with him would have been a much better decision. The audition lasted maybe 90 seconds, ending with a blunt, “That’s all we need, thank you.” It wasn’t much different from any of your other auditions, nobody showing any real interest in you. There’s hundreds-maybe even thousands-of girls who are in your exact situation. An aspiring actress using money she doesn’t have to stay in New York, no real roles to your name, struggling to keep your head above water. After graduating from NYU the previous year, you thought that this would be your time, but it’s anything but that.

By the time you arrived back at your apartment it had stopped raining. You were relieved to be back to the comfort of your bed, ready to go straight back to sleep (maybe in Joe’s jacket) but the second you walked in the door, your phone began ringing. It was your dad. You didn’t even have to pick up the phone to know what he was going to say. “What are you doing today?” “Do you have a job yet?” “What are you gonna do with your life? I can’t pay for your apartment forever.”

You couldn’t even be mad, either. He paid for your share of the rent in your preppy uptown apartment. He also sent you money weekly, claiming it’s to help you until you’re able to “Get on your feet.” You didn’t think it’d be taking over a year long to get there. Despite being upset about your career choice, and the fact that he could get you a perfect, well paid job at his company in a few cities over, he wanted his little girl to be happy.

I mean, who else was gonna pay for you to live in the most expensive city in the country? Your failed auditions?

With an over-dramatic sigh, you answered the phone. “Hi dad.”

“Hello Y/N. Whatcha doing?” He said.

“I just got back from an audition.” You said, walking into the living room, the eyes of your roommates Cameron and Jessica immediately falling on you, perking up as you set your bag down on the table.

“How’d it go?” Jessica asked excitedly.

“Whose jacket is that?” Cameron shouted.

You furrowed your eyebrows and pointed to your phone, both of them sinking back down into their seats.

“And how was that?” He asked.

“It was… okay. Not exactly how I wanted it to go.”

“Seems like that’s how they’ve all been going.” He said. You just knew he had a disappointed frown on his face. It almost made you wince.

“I mean, I think I’m gonna get there, dad.” You stepped into your room and shut the door behind you.

There was a silence on the line. “I don’t know, Y/N. I hate to be the wet blanket on your big city dreams but I think you’re being unrealistic. You should come back home and I can get you a job here in 5 seconds. I just-”

“Dad, we’ve had this conversation. I’m staying here.” You said, stuffing your hands into the jacket pockets. You pulled out a gum wrapper and a few quarters. It almost made you giggle.

“On my dime?” He shot back.

Your shoulders slumped and you sighed. “Nobody’s forcing you to pay for me.”

“Oh yeah? Who’s gonna pay for you if I don’t? Certainly not yourself.”

Now you were embarrassed. “Dad… Can you please just trust me? I’ll get on my feet, I don’t know, soon, okay?”

He sighed. “6 more months.” He said.

“What?” You asked.

“I’ll pay for you for 6 more months. If you don’t have some source of income by then, you're coming home and working here.” He knew that paying for you to live in the city wasn’t a financial burden for him, he owned a company. But, he wanted you to learn how to do things yourself, and he knew if he kept spoon feeding you through life, that you would never get there.

A bit taken back, you registered that there were no other options. “Okay. That seems… fair.”

“It’s not what I want to do, honey, but I want you to be productive. To do something with yourself.”

That stung.

“Okay.” You closed your eyes.

“Alright. I’ve got a meeting, so I’ve got to go. I’ll talk to you later.”

“Okay, bye dad.”

You set your phone down on your bed and set your chin on your elbow. You had better think of a better plan than going to an audition every week if you wanted to stay here. “Shit.” You mumbled.

Cameron burst into your room and you looked up at her. “Whose jacket is that?” She asked again.

“Nice to see you too, Cam.” You raised your eyebrows.

Cameron was a bold person. You had met in college, and you immediately clinged to each other’s sides. You grounded her, and she pushed you out of your comfort zone. Cameron was also kind of scary. You had seen what she’d done to people she didn’t like, how she’ll step on people to get where she wants. You’re just glad she likes you.

“Sorry, how was the audition?” She said, pushing the door fully open and leaning on your door frame.

You sighed and set your forehead in your palm.

“Oh, well.” She said, getting the message.

She came and sat on the bed next to you. “So… Now can I ask about the jacket.” She asked softly.

“Some random guy on the subway. It was raining and I was cold, so he offered it to me.”

“Ew! What if it has a tracking device or something in it?” Jessica asked, walking in the room.

Jessica came into the picture Junior year of college. She fit in perfectly between the two of you, bringing some sort of responsibility to the group. She was the stereotypical mom friend, but you loved her for it.

“Was he hot?” Cam asked. The difference in reaction made you chuckle.

“It was just some nice guy. We talked for like 20 seconds.” You stated.

“Did you get his number?” Cam asked.

“No, Cam, he was way older than me.” You said.

“Why does that matter?”

You flopped back onto your bed and sighed, the other two girls exchanging looks as you covered your face with your arms.

“What’s wrong?” Jessica asked as she walked over to sit on the other side of you.

“Nothing, I just… My dad. He says I need a job or else he’s gonna cut me off.” You said, flopping your arms down by your sides.

“Yikes.” Cam said.

“What’re you gonna do?” Jess asked.

“Get a fucking job I guess. What other choice do I have?”

They were both silent as you checked the time on your phone. It was still way early in the morning. “Guys, I think I’m gonna go back to sleep.” You said.

“Alright, babe. I have an audition at 11, so I probably won’t be here when you wake up.” Cam patted your leg.

You nodded. Cameron had already established herself as an actress. She mostly does theatre, but she did do an episode of Law and Order and a few smaller parts in other tv shows. You tried not to be jealous, but in situations like this, you couldn’t really help it.

“I have work too. I’ll be back at 4 though.” Jessica said. She worked as a journalist for a magazine, making way more money than either of you, so it made sense to be jealous.

“Ivy’s here though, don't know if she’s leaving or not.” Cameron said. Ivy was the fourth roommate, who wasn’t friends with any of you when she moved in. She needed a place to live and you guys needed one more roommate.

She was really reserved, and she didn’t talk to any of you much. This bothered Cameron, since she’s a chatter-box, but there wasn’t much anyone could do. She was going to business school in the city, so she was a few years younger than the three of you, but she didn’t start problems, so nobody paid too much mind to her. Coming up on a year of living with her, and you didn’t really know much about her.

You nodded and climbed under your comforter, still in the jacket and your audition clothes. The two girls stood up and walked out, Jessica turned off the light before she blew you a kiss and left.

Within minutes, you passed out. You woke up a few hours later to your phone ringing. Groaning, you picked it up.

“Y/N!” Cam shouted.

“What?” You said, sitting up in bed, all at once realizing how uncomfortable your pants and blouse were. Why did you sleep in these again?

“Okay, so I was at this audition right, and they’re like, ‘You’re so great but you just don’t have the look we’re going for for this role.’” She said. You could hear cars, horns, and the general bustle of the city in the background, so you assumed she was on her way home.

You ignored her subtle brag as you got out of bed to change. You put the phone on speaker and set it on your night stand as you slowly began to undress.

“And so then they were like ‘but, we love you so much, would you be interested in a paid internship as a film director assistant?’ And I would have done it except the 2 of the 5 months that it lasts for, I’m working on that off broadway production, you know the one wit-”

“Yes, I know the one.” You said.

“Okay, well I told them that I know a girl who would want it.” She smiled.

“Are you serious?” You said as you hung the jacket on the back of your door.

“Yes I’m serious! They said you’d have to apply though, so I have the application with me, but I put in a really good word for you, and pretend I didn’t tell you this, they basically said you have it in the bag.”

You smiled as you picked your phone up again and took a deep breath. “Cameron, thank you.” you said.

“Don’t mention it.” She said smugly. “And guess who the director is?”

“I don’t know, who?” You asked.

“Joe Mazzello.” She smiled.

“Remind me who that is?” You asked.

She groaned. “He’s an actor, Y/N, like a big one. This is gonna be a big movie.”

You let out a breath of happiness. “Thank you so much Cam.”

“I’ll see you when I get home.” She said “I’m about to get on the subway.”

“Ok,” You agreed. “See you.” You smiled.

The second she hung up, you had the overwhelming urge to call your dad. But you didn’t. It felt like he wouldn’t care, or he wouldn’t think that this was serious or that he would think you’re stupid for being excited about an internship.

But it didn’t matter. You had your source of income.

No one could have prepared you for how nerve-wracking your first day would be. You’re stomach had been churning all day, from when you woke up, to when Cam wished you luck and told you to mention her to the director, right up until you were walking into the large glass building that hopefully held your future as an actress.

After a 32 floor elevator ride, one of the producers met you and another boy your age at the front desk. You gave him a weak smile, trying not to let your jaw chatter from nervousness. He looked away.

“So this is where business is done, basically. Everything that’s not done on the set is done in this building. You guys, of course, will be spending a lot of time on set and here. I’d suggest familiarizing yourself with the surroundings.” The producer explained. She was older than you by quite a bit, with silver hair that looked like it hadn’t been brushed in a few days and a kind smile that eased your nervousness. She led you down a hallway that looked like it never ended, never mentioning where she was taking you. “The set is about 45 minutes out of town, and unfortunately, we can’t offer you on set living, like the director and actors get, so you’ll have to travel back home every night.” She never looked back at the two of you as she walked, but it didn’t matter because neither of you said anything.

She stopped outside of a door, with a small plaque on the front that read “Director; Joseph Mazzello”. Her smile faded quickly as she turned around to look at you both. “This is a serious job. As directors assistants, you are to do whatever he tells you. He calls all of the shots. Hundreds of people applied for this position, and we chose you two. I could replace both of you in 5 seconds.” You gulped and glanced over at the boy, who seemed to stand a little taller when he heard how competitive this was. “He’s in here, he’s going to discuss expectations, and he’ll let you know what this job will consist of. Address him as Mr. Mazzello and whatever you do, don’t mess up.”

You nodded and she scanned both of your faces. “Alrighty then.” She smiled again, as if she hadn’t just made two 22 year olds question every decision they’ve ever made.

She knocked on the door and then opened it to poke her head in. “Joe? You assistants are here.” She opened the door to reveal the two of you, stiff as boards.

“Great! I’ve been so excited to meet the two of you!” He exclaimed, standing up from his desk. The second that he made eye contact with you, you realized who he was. Joe from the subway. You’re mouth nearly dropped open at the realization. A deep blush covered your face as you begged the universe to not let him remember you, you could hardly bear the thought of your new boss knowing that you have one of his jackets hanging in your closet right now.

He smiled as he walked around his desk to shake both of your hands. “I’m Joe.” He said as he took your hand. You smiled, keeping in mind that this wasn’t the first time he had introduced himself like this to you.

“Y/N.” He nodded, and as far as you could tell, he didn’t recognize you.

He moved on to the boy, who had neatly styled brown hair, light eyes, and broad shoulders. “It’s a pleasure to meet you Mr. Mazzello, I’m Beck.” He said hopefully, putting your mere ‘Y/N’ to shame.

Joe smiled. “You don’t have to call me Mr. Mazzello, seriously. That goes for both of you, call me Joe.” You promptly nodded as he looked between the two of you.

“Sit down, sit down.” He said.

The two of you sat down and he went back around behind his desk. “You look so nervous. I promise I’m not mean.” He pleaded with an awkward laugh.

He went on to tell you that you probably wouldn’t be doing much in the actual film production, which you were bummed to hear, but what did you expect? “So basically, directing is a big job, and I’ll need help with day to day things. Technical things, running stuff around for me, just random tasks that I don’t have time for.”

He explained more, and the whole time he spoke, you couldn’t help but think of meeting him on the subway. How sweet he’d been, how he had given his jacket to a complete stranger and paid for you to get on. You had let your mind wander to how handsome he was, how good his arms looked in his shirt that was rolled up to his elbows. Immediately, you scolded yourself. You weren’t going to mess up your first job by getting a stupid crush on your boss. Were you really that dumb?

“Mr. M-” He raised his eyebrows as you spoke “Joe. Sorry.” You laughed.

“Atta girl.” He chuckled. “What’s up, kid.”

“We haven’t gotten much information about scheduling, how is that gonna work?” You asked.

“Oh! Yeah, I guess you’ll need to know that. Do you guys have your phones with you?” He asked.

You both nodded and you pulled yours out of your purse.

“Ok, my number is 501 333, 7689.”

You were a bit taken back at the fact that he was giving you his phone number, he hardly knew the two of you and he’s a famous actor. But, you weren’t complaining.

“I’ll just text you where to be and when to be there, alright?” He asked.

“Ok.” You both agreed.

“Alright.” He clapped his hands together. “So, first, I need someone to take these to Alex in I.T. and-”

“I’ll do it.” Beck blurted out as he stood up.

“Oh, ok.” Joe said, just as startled as you were.

“Then I need you to tell him to email me a copy of the call sheet.” He said.

“Got it, Mr. Mazzello.” He said, starting towards the door.

“Come on, call me Joe.” He smiled.

“I prefer to keep things, you know, professional.” Beck sent you a nasty side glance as if to say you weren’t professional.

“Alright then, Mr. Beck.” Joe nodded.

Beck stepped out of his office and you turned back to Joe. “Who pissed in that kids cereal?” He said under his breath, sifting through a few papers on his desk

You giggled and Joe smiled, looking up at you to meet your eyes and then back down at his papers. “So you’re from New York?” He asked.

“Well, yeah. Rochester originally, but I went to college here and I plan on staying here.” He nodded.

“Do you wanna do film production or something else?” He questioned.

“Well, the goal is to become an actress.”

“So you’ve been auditioning for things then?” He looked up at you expectantly. You prayed that he wasn’t trying to figure out if you were the girl from the subway.

You were just opening your mouth to answer when Beck opened back up the door. You both turned to him.

“That was quick.” Joe said.

“What can I say.” He shrugged cockily.

Joe sent you a glance along with a small smile. You looked at your lap, trying to hide the grin that was threatening to show.

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