#jisu was taken too soon
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quack-quack-snacks · 1 year ago
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MY PERSONAL OPINIONS
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These two ^^
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these two ^
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and these two ^^ (ignore the text this was the only good pic I could find) will forever be better
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than these two ^^
I am very anti Eun-yu x Hyun-su. sorry not sorry
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gyuyoungarchives · 9 months ago
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💬 L'Officiel: Interview Highlights
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Park Gyuyoung rise to the challenge as our March 2024 cover star
South Korean actress Park Gyuyoung has been on a roll, soaring in a recent hits including Sweet Home and Celebrity, as well as being named global brand ambassador for Gucci. Now, we remain transfixed by her as she's set to star in season two of Squid Game.
Two and a half years ago, Park Gyuyoung landed her first television lead role in Dali & Gamjatang, a romantic comedy that saw Park playing Kim Dali, the daughter of a wealthy family who tries to rescue a collapsing art museum. From there, it hasn't taken long at all for the South Korean actress to fully find her footing as a leading lady --- last year, she starred in a Netflix hit, Celebrity, and season two of the acclaimed post-apocalyptic web series, Sweet Home.
And soon after she graced Sabato De Sarno's debut Gucci show in Milan, the house tapped on the rising star as its global brand ambassador. Things are only looking up and up for Park this year -- she's slated to star in season two of the cultural phenomenon that is Squid Game.
One series that you were recently busy with is Sweet Home, which saw season two coming out in December. Could you describe your experience working on season two, and what being in seasons one and two means to you?
"Since season one, I poured my heart into the portrayal of Yoon Jisu, and I'd been involved with her for a while, so season two truly felt like a proper send-off for her. To date, she's the one character that had the longest reign in my heart among my acting roles."
You've been acting for about eight years so far. What are the biggest physical and mental challenges that you have overcome so far?
"I realised that acting in front of cameras is a craft, which often asks you to go to battle with yourself. 'Those moments of challenging myself, to overcome my own obstacles, are when I feel the most fulfilment, I think."
From Celebrity being a hit with international Netflix audiences to notable shows like Sweet Home and Squid Game, recent projects have led to fast-growing attention on you. What is the mindset of Park Gyuyoung like recently and is it any different from before?
"My mindset is always dominated by the same principle: how can I express my character who presents in a space within this story? I believe that doing my best is our fundamental duty and responsibility."
Through this time of filming back-to-back projects, have you had any simple rituals to help you destress, and keep you balanced and contented?
I don't worry too much about things that haven't happened yet, and just try to focus on the projects in front of me. When I'm working, I focus solely on work. On my days off, I try to rejuvenate in my own way through ballet and exercise.
Over your career thus far, are there any moments in particular that you're proudest of?
"Little by little - sometimes there are moments when I look back on my growth, Im proud of myself for what I've accomplished."
You've been in diverse productions from rom-coms to thrillers and horror. Are there certain ways in which each of these genres has helped you to grow, and is there anything you' d like to challenge yourself with next?
"I don't think I'm picky or partial to certain genres. In every project, each of the characters emits their own unique energy, flaws and emotions from that specific time and space, and all of them are so different from each other. Repetitively embracing this difference with each project has helped my growth little by little, I think."
You attended the Gucci show in Milan to see Sabato De Sarno's first collection for the house. How was your fashion week experience?
"The music and lights coming together in that space were absolutely fantastic. Everything was so new, and to see Sabato's colours reflected in the new Gucci collection with my own eyes felt like a dream."
What can your fans expect from Park Gyuyoung this year?
"You can count on seeing a new side of me as a different character in a different project. Stay tuned!"
L'Officiel Malaysia, Singapore, Philippines, 2024
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skzfairies · 3 years ago
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destined best friend reunion
pairing: yuri + ateez (mingi centered)
words: 1.5k
summary: after mingi returns the dorms after his hiatus, him and his destined best friend have a reunion.
tag list. @shinyddeonghwa @ateezjuliet @atzaria [send an ask to be included!]
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“yuri, come here!” hongjoong yelled from the couch, rereading the text message that mingi had sent him, telling him that he was on his way to the dorms.
he laughed when he heard her stomp down the ladder, and mumble some curses to her leader as well. when she finally had made her way into the living room, she was glaring at her leader in front of her, with her arms crossed.
“don’t be mad at me, mingi is coming back!” hongjoong exclaimed, and yuri quickly gasped, covering her mouth, and jumped in excitement with a huge smile on her face.
“no fucking way!” yuri yelled, still looking at hongjoong with disbelief, clapping when hongjoong had shown her mingi’s text message.
“i haven’t seen yuri this excited since her itzy album came in.” seonghwa mumbled but it didn’t go unnoticed by yuri, her quickly throwing herself next to him, and starting pinning him down onto the couch and to begin tickling him, causing seonghwa to erupt into a fit of giggles.
“i got a lia photo card, okay? i have known her longer than any of you, so remember that jisu is more superior to me than you all are.” yuri said once she finished, now hugging onto seonghwa’s waist, her head resting on her shoulder.
“what about mingi?” san asked from beside her, laughing when the girl rolled her eyes.
“that’s different. he was the first one to step up and talk to the beautiful girl that stepped foot in your practice room, who was me, and therefore he will always have a special part in my heart.” yuri said, glaring at yunho when he sighed when she complimented herself.
“yuri, you are so extra.” seonghwa laughed, pouting when yuri had no longer cuddled him.
“san, are you going to be mean to me?” yuri asked, looking at san with a pout, smiling when he shook his head no. “dance with me!” yuri shouted, pulling san up from the couch and forced san to twirl her, san later picking her up into a spin, smiling when he heard yuri giggle.
“san, i’m so excited!” yuri smiled, hugging onto san when he put her down.
“me too, i call hugging him first!” san yelled, looking around the room, at everyone.
“i call second!” yuri shouted, smirking up at san, causing him to furrow his eyebrows.
“what are you planning? san asked, looking at her suspiciously.
“oh, nothing!” yuri said, with a far too innocent tone to be believed.
“oh my god yuri, stop being so scary!” yeosang yelled, who yelled again when yuri had sat in his lap. “get off me, you ugly human!”
“yeosang, stop pretending you don’t love me. you text me everytime i’m not home to ask me when i’m coming back.” yuri smirked, pinching yeosang’s cheek when he had threw his head back.
“i hate you.” yeosang grumbled, but yuri had no time to retort, because she could hear the faint sound of the door being unlocked, and as soon as the sound hit her ears, she was carefully leaving yeosang’s lap, and then bursting into a run to the door, beating san.
tumblr stop deleting things AND BE NICE.
“my destined best friend is home!” yuri yelled once she had opened the door, letting mingi place his bags down and throwing herself onto mingi in a hug, which he gladly returned, and picked her up as well.
“i missed you!” mingi said, ruffling her hair when he had placed her down.
“mingi, i missed you more than you can imainge. i had to deal with these idiots all by myself.” yuri pouted, smiling when wooyoung yelled in protest.
“you weren’t nice to them at all, were you?” mingi asked, laughing slightly and shaking his head when yuri had confirmed. “my little devil.” mingi cooed, patting her head and giving san a hug, who was standing right next to yuri.
it took awhile for yuri to finally realize that mingi had called her little, it was until he was hugging hongjoong and she had laughed at the height difference, that she realized that he had called her little.
“did he called me little?” yuri asked wooyoung, both of them were standing behind mingi, with an admiring smile on their faces.
“yeah he did, but compared to him, you are soooo tiny.” wooyoung said, playfully wrapping his arm around yuri’s shoulder.
“i hate you.” yuri grumbled, which wooyoung only laughed in response, smiling softly when he saw her sulk slightly.
“what’s wrong, yuri?” mingi questioned, finally turning around once he had let hongjoong go, and placed his hands on top of yuri’s shoulders.
“shes sulking because you called her little.” wooyoung smirked, smiling up at mingi, who quickly laughed and smiled, shaking his head and looking back down at the girl.
“you’re cute.” mingi smiled, patting the top of yuri’s head, and walking towards his bags that were still on the ground. “if it makes you feel any better, i brought you something.” mingi said, sitting on the ground and pulling a canvas out of his bag, holding it against his chest. yuri had quickly ran over, and sat on the ground with mingi, trying to peak at the canvas that he was holding.
“ah ah ah, no peaking.” mingi laughed, leaning away from yuri’s curious eyes, laughing more when she had pouted. “you gotta tell me you love me.” mingi smirked.
yuri’s face immediately softened, a small smile forming onto her lips. “of course i love you, mingi.” yuri whispered, placing a soft kiss onto mingi’s cheek, smiling when she saw the faint blush growing on his cheek.
“how come shes so soft with him? she only gave me a kiss on my cheek when i bought her food.” hongjoong complained, the other members joining along too, but mingi and yuri payed no mind, both in their own little world.
“okay, are you ready?” mingi questioned , finally showing yuri the painting when she had nodded her head.
the painting was of both yuri and mingi looking at the golden gate bridge from behind when they had taken a quick stop in san francisco before getting on a plane to the next showcase, so yuri could visit her hometown and her family for a little bit. yuri smiled down at the painting, even though they were only in san francisco for a few hours, that had been one of her most cherished memories. she had been able to see friends and family that she hadn’t seen in years, and she saw sights that she missed so much, all with her boys. she didn’t notice the tears that were falling down her cheeks until mingi had wrapped her into a hug.
“mingi i- how did you-” yuri mumbled, unable to finish her sentence due to the shock that she was experiencing.
“a couple canvas’s later and multiple youtube videos.” mingi chuckled softly, handing yuri the painting from the side hug he had her in.
“can i keep it?” yuri whispered, unable to pry her eyes from the painting.
“of course, i made it for you silly.” mingi laughed, resting his head on yuri’s shoulder.
“wait, i have something for you too.” yuri said, carefully handing mingi the painting, and running to her room, later coming back with her phone and her airpods, handing mingi the airpods to put in his ear, and she was hurriedly pulling up the file that she wanted to play. when she had finally found it, she had pressed play and looked over at mingi, with a soft smile on her face.
it was a soft and sweet song that she had worked on while mingi was gone, and she had written the lyrics while thinking of him, as well. she had written about how thankful she was for him, and she wrote about how much she loved him and how cherished their memories were to her. once the song had finished, mingi, who had tears starting to flow down his cheeks, had heard yuri’s soft voice.
“hi mingi, i hope you know i love you a lot. i don’t think i would ever be able to express how much i love you just with words, so i hope this was able to give you some sort of jist of how thankful i am for you. you have been my best friend before ateez even debuted, and you are still mine even afterwards. i want to thank you for always staying beside me, and always being there for me. i will always be there for you, no matter what. i’ll always be here to cheer you on, okay? you are doing so well, and i’ll always be proud of you. i love you.” yuri had said, and the music had finally faded out, so mingi had taken the head phones out, and hugged onto yuri tightly, smiling when she had wrapped her arms around his waist.
“thank you.” mingi had whispered, pulling yuri into his lap on the ground.
“i love you, mingi.” yuri whispered back, brushing mingi’s hair so it was out of his eyes. she was happy to have her best friend back at home, and he was happy to be back at home with her. no matter what, they will always be on each other’s side, ready to pull each other into a hug when needed, and they never planned on changing anything.
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seungmoroll · 4 years ago
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TOO Reaction to S/O Stealing Their Clothes
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Genre: fluff, romance
Requested: yes
A/n: thank you anon for the request! hope you enjoy it!
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Chihoon:
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           “Uh is there a particular reason as to why you’re wearing my hoodie?” Is what Chihoon asks you when he sees you on the couch in his hoodie. “Yeah, I like that it’s big on me.” You cutely show him the sweater paws that the hoodie gives you. The only response he can give you is a shy “Oh.” In your position on the couch, you watch as his face slightly reddens, but you choose not to say anything for his sake.
           The next time you come over to the dorms, he silently gives you another one of his hoodies and then leaves without saying a word. Confused, you look at Chan for an explanation, “He’s too shy to tell you that he likes seeing you in his clothes.”
Donggeon:
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           “Uh Y/n?”
            “Yeah, babe?”
            “Aren’t those pants too big on you?” Looking down at said pants that was fitted loosely around your hips, you simply shrug. Finding your nonchalant attitude endearing, he gets up from his spot on the couch and makes his way towards the kitchen where you were currently trying to cook the two of you a meal. Spinning you around and grabbing at the drawstrings of the pants, he pulls you close to him, causing for you to let out a gasp. “You should really stop stealing my clothes.”
            Pouting, you say, “But they’re comfy.” Kissing the pout on your face he says, “At least wear something of mine that fits a little bit better on you. I don’t want to have to worry about the guys accidently seeing your panties.” Donggeon can’t help but laugh with you smack him in the chest. 
Chan:
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           “Huh, that hoodie looks slightly familiar.” Chan says to you as he looks at the hoodie being adorned by you. “It should, it’s yours.”
           Cocking his eyebrow, he asks, “And you’re wearing it because?”
           “I like that it’s oversized plus it smells like you.” He knew that it did because he specifically made sure to spray all of his hoodies with his cologne because he knew you liked smelling like him. Pulling you close to his chest, he tells you, “You look good in my clothes; you should wear them more often.” He then gives you a peck on the lips.
           Pulling away from him, you ask, “And why is that?” Pulling you even closer to his body, he answers with a smirk on his face, “So everyone will know that you’re mine.”
Jisu:
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           “Babe, are you ready to go?” Jisu calls out to you.
            “Yeah hold on, let me just get my bag.” When you reach Jisu in the living room, he looks up from his phone and looks at you up and down, causing you feel slightly awkward. “That’s my hoodie you’re wearing.” Simply nodding you say, “It is.”
            “Why?”
            “I wanted to wear something comfortable, and this is big enough for me to wear as a dress. Is there a problem with it?” Quickly shaking his head no to your question, he gets up from his spot on the couch and pulls you into his chest, “No, not at all. You should wear my clothes all the time, you look so cute!”
            The next time the two of you go out together, he pulls out one of his sweaters and asks you if you wanted to wear it. Now it’s a common occurrence for him to want you to wear his clothes. 
Minsu:
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           You and Minsu were cuddling in bed when he realized what you were wearing. Picking at the sleeve of the sweater you were wearing, he tells you, “You look pretty in my clothes.” Taken back by his compliment, you ask him, “Do I?” Bobbing his head, he replies, “You look pretty in anything.” Unable to handle anymore of his compliments, you try hide your face in your hands, but Minsu manages to stop you before planting a kiss on your cheek. “My pretty Y/n.”
J.you:
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           “Is that my hoodie you’re wearing?” J.you asks as he looks at you through his phone screen. Nodding your head, you tell him, “I wore it because I missed you.” His facial features soften at your confession. He was currently out of the country and he was missing you too. He didn’t know that you took his hoodie but looking at you right now through the screen of his phone, he’s glad that you did. He thought you looked adorable, and in a sense, it was like he was there with you, enveloped in his arms. “I miss you too. Next time when I have to leave you for a long time, I’ll make sure to give you enough hoodies in case you miss me.”
Jaeyun:
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           “Why don’t you ever wear the clothes that I buy for you?”
            “Because I like wearing your clothes silly.” He rolls his eyes at your response, “Y’know, they’re my clothes for a reason.”
            “And that reason is so that I can steal them.” You give him a bright smile from your position on his bed. Unable to resist your cuteness, he plops on top of you, making you squeal. And when you manage to roll over onto your back, facing him, he plants a kiss on top of your nose. “I guess I just have to get used to having only half of my closet.”
Kyunho:
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           “Hey sweetheart, have you seen my favorite Jacket?” Kyungho asks you. Innocently you respond with a no, but Kyungho could hear the lie in your voice. Coming out from the bedroom, he sees you sitting on the couch wearing said jacketthat he was looking for. Leaning against the wall, he says with a smirk, “Found it.” Looking away from his gaze, you cross your arms, refusing to take it off. “You’re not getting this back anytime soon mister.” Finding your behavior amusing, he slowly walks towards you, “We’ll see about that.” Thus ensues a tickle attack led by Kyunho. 
Jerome:
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           When he first saw you in his caridigan, he had to take a moment to himself. “Is that mine?” he asks. Looking down at the cardigan, you say, “Yeah, is there a problem with me wearing it?” Quickly shaking his head, he responds, “No, no, no. Not at all. I…I kinda like you wearing my clothes.” Smiling at his response, you pat the empty spot next to you on the couch. Instantly, he jumps into the space and cuddles into you. “I like wearing your clothes too. They’re big on me.” Excitedly, he says to you, “Then you can wear all my clothes!” You have to pat his head to calm him down, “Okay, okay, silly, I will.”
Woongi:
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           “Oh my gosh, my baby looks so cute in my clothes!” Your face reddens at Woonggi’s compliment. It wasn’t like this was the first time you wore his clothes before, but everytime Woonggi just had to make it known how much he loved the thought of you in his clothes. He loved the idea of it so much that he wanted to wear some of your clothes as well, so now the two of you basically just share a closet.
           “Hey Y/n, can I wear this today?”
           “If only you let me wear this hoodie.”
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A/n: this was my first time doing a reaction so I hope you guys liked it. also, my requests are open, so feel free to send something in!
masterlist
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princessjungeun · 4 years ago
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7:30 Backstories: Ryujin
Content warning: guns and bombs
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That Tuesday night when Seoul got attacked, Ryujin was at home in her bed, her girlfriend in her arms. Jisu has decided to spend the rest of the week at Ryujin’s, as Jisu lived in the heart of Seoul. For safety she headed to her girlfriend’s house, an hour outside of the city.
When the first bomb dropped it was heard distantly, but not felt. Ryujin felt Jisu’s body tense at the sound “what was that?” Not wanting to admit she knew what was to come, Ryujin responded “it was probably nothing baby, try to sleep.” Jisu asked “are you sure?” Ryu...I’m scared.”
Ryujin pulled the smaller girl closer into her arms, “we’ll be fine baby girl just try to sleep okay?” Jisu complied, nuzzling into Ryujin’s neck, her lips softly placing kisses on her lover’s skin.
That night Ryujin didn’t sleep. She continued to hear bombs dropping, the sound didn’t get louder with time, they stayed distant.
In the morning Ryujin noticed her younger sister Yuna had slept through the entire thing, not realizing their country was under attack. The news channels were all reporting that the city was attacked and enemy forces were trying to control the capital. Some people in the city had been captured and taken by the enemy as well. These people either forced to become enemy soldiers, held for ransom, or simply murdered.
Upon hearing this Ryujin’s parents decided the family needed to split up. Yuna, Jisu, and Ryujin’s mother moving further south, away from the city, was best. Whereas Ryujin would live with her dad in the mountains. Quickly the family packed bags, and loaded their vehicles to leave in the night.
“Ryujin-ah. We have to go, come on now.” Her father waved for her to say her goodbyes. Ryujin hugged her mom first, “bye eomma. I’ll see you soon ok? I love you.” Her mother held her eldest in her arms, for what they both didn’t know would be the last.
Yuna hugged her older sister “I’ll take care of Jisu for you ok? I know I’m the baby but I can do it. I’ll do the same for mom. Just look out for dad ok?” Ryujin nodded and pulled her into a bone crushing hug.
Jisu collapsed into her girlfriend’s arms, she sobbed heavily not wanting to say goodbye. Ryujin kissed her “It’s okay baby. No tears, you’ll see me again. I’ll see you soon, I promise I will find you.” Jisu chokes out “what if you don’t?” Brushing a piece of hair from her girlfriend’s face Ryujin said “I will. I promise, there’s nothing that will keep me from being with you again. I love you Jisu-ah.”
Ryujin left with her dad that night, they arrived in the mountains not too long after. From that day forward Ryujin’s father taught her how to survive alone. He also taught her to shoot guns. Day in and day out she worked on her aim until she never missed her target.
“Dad? Hello? Anyone home?” Ryujin woke up one morning around 5 AM. The birds outside were already singing, the sky was just starting to get light. She walked into the kitchen and saw a note on the stove:
My Ryujin,
Please take care of yourself. I want you to leave as soon as you read this. I left while you were asleep, do not look for me, I am long gone from you now. Go find Yuna and Jisu. Your mother and I are together, do not worry about us. You have what you need to survive like Ive taught you. Start to head South East, there you should find Yuna and Jisu. Please protect yourself, my eldest daughter, my pride and joy, I love you always.
-Dad
Ryujin did as she was told, throwing all her stuff into a bag and slinging it over her shoulder. She grabbed her and her father’s guns before leaving the house.
Ryujin wandered for weeks, she knew she had a destination, but she didn’t know how to get there. A few passerbyers helped her here and there, but she often didn’t ask for help out of fear they’d send her in the wrong direction.
She made it out of the mountains fairly quickly and to where she assumed was south east. Sometimes she stopped in towns, stealing from vacant houses and stores. Day and night she walked alone, dragging herself along, the only thing driving her was Yuna and Jisu.
Another night, another empty town she wandered through. Her body starting to give beneath her she decided it was time she stopped and went to sleep. Finding a house she kicked open the door and walked in, searching it high and low for people before settling in.
This home had clearly been abandoned for months, it reeked of dust and dry mold. The furniture definitely harboring dust mites and bed bugs. She choked on the smell every few minutes but she’d have to deal with it until she could get moving tomorrow.
Ryujin found an old wooden dresser, heavy enough to barricade the door from anyone coming in. She pulled the windows down and dragged the drapes over, making the room dark enough to see, but also dark enough to sleep. She found a spot in the corner of the main area of the house. The wall caved in just enough to cradle her body just the right way. She leaned back, resting her head on a balled up shirt she pulled from her bag. Making sure she was secure, she kept one gun strapped to her back, the other in her arms. She softly hummed to herself as she drifted off to sleep.
A loud pop followed by a mirror shattering in the home woke Ryujin up. The sky was still dark, but she was now very much awake. She dropped to the ground wondering where the bullets were coming from, there was nobody in town when she arrived.
She heard the shouts of three people, two girls and a boy. They were yelling to each other in a mix of English and Korean, one girl having a distinct Australian accent.
Ryujin crawled on the floor and peered out the window. She noticed the three people yelling were young, a girl with lavender hair hiding behind a tree. Unlike other people Ryujin’s seen, this girl didn’t look scared. The girl was tall, she had long, thin arms and legs.
The lavender haired girl sprinted across from one side of the street to another. Crawling up a tree as if she was a squirrel. Ryujin heard her shout “Can one of you two do something? They’re going to kill us!”
Usually Ryujin wasn’t one to help other people in these situations. However she realized that if they made it this far and they’re this young, and not dead, they’re worth sticking with. She saw the boy had muscle, one girl had throwing knives, and the other was quick on her feet. These were the people she wanted to be with.
Ryujin slipped onto the roof of the house, laying down and easily spotting the enemies of these young people. Propping herself up on one arm she found her first target. Closing one eye she focused before pulling the trigger, hitting the person square in the head, between their eyes. She did this until she hit all five of her targets.
The lavender haired girl slowly came out of the tree she hid in once she deemed it safe. The boy and other girl coming from behind bushes. The three looked around the empty street wondering who saved them. Ryujin stood up and slid down the roof, landing on her feet in front of the three.
Ryujin held her gun in her hands, it wasn’t loaded and the lock was on, but they didn’t need to know. “Put your hands up!” She told the three sternly.
Ryujin looked them all up and down, walking around them to see if they had anything they could immediately hurt her with. “Who are you all associated with?”
The boy spoke up “we arent with anyone. It’s just the three of us, we’re just trying to find our friends and families.” Ryujin stated firmly “I want in.”
The lavender haired girl responded “hell no. We don’t know you. You could work for someone we don’t want to be around.” Ryujin laughed and said “either I join you three or only one of us is walking away from this. And i’ll give you a hint, she doesn’t have purple hair.”
The third one looked at the purple haired girl and the boy, she immediately said “deal.”
Ryujin smiled and dropped her weapon and let it hang on her back.
“Alright, let’s go then.”
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to1vity · 5 years ago
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too’s jisu “tickle attack”
requested!
— “Hii💓 it's really hard finding writing blogs about TOO, i'm happy i found ur blog!! Could you write a fluffy scenario about the boys exposing Jisu's crush pls?? Thank u in advance💓 ”
wc. 1,364
summary. you and jisu are ‘just friends’, that is until the boys are forced to endure one tickle attack too many
warnings. minor swearing
(a/n: aw, i’m happy you’re happy you found my blog lol)
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“jisu-ya!” 
the nine boys, aside from the one whom you were at the mercy of, stared at you with expressions ranging between frustration and annoyance. you were visiting the ten oriented orchestra dorm for the fourth time this week, which also meant you were suffering your fourth tickle-attack that week—from none other than choi jisu. the first time it was cute, the second it earned a half smile, the third it was annoying and the fourth, well… let’s just say the boys could only endure so much.
“yn-ah…” he replied as he continued to tickle you, mocking your tone. the two of you engaged in this ritual, this back and forth, every time you were in each other’s company. it wasn’t like you two were born yesterday, either; it was pretty well understood by you both that this was, yes indeed, flirting. 
but the question of whether either of you were ready to do anything about it? yeah- that’s another story. 
the members were themselves ready to put a stop to the seemingly endless cat and mouse game that you and jisu loved to play, but there was a problem. they all feared what a forced confession would do to, not just jisu’s relationship with you, but also theirs with him. would he be mad? or would be he grateful that they could say the words that he couldn’t? would you be awkward? would jisu resent them if your demeanor towards him did change? these were all considered, as the boys had discussed it among themselves on an occasion. but, as mentioned, these poor boys could only handle so much. 
“i cannot take it anymore.” chihoon mumbled under his breath, just loud enough for donggeon and kyungho, who were sitting next to him, to hear. the other members who were out of earshot sat somewhere on the floor or on the arms of the couch. 
donggeon stifled a laugh—not that he necessarily needed to do so, you and jisu were in your own world. 
“seriously, i love jisu-hyung and yn and all but….” kyungho trailed. 
“it’s getting weeeeeeird.” donggeon teased, laughing louder this time. this gained the attention of the other members, as well as jisu who lightened up his attack on you once his attention was focused toward his friend. 
“what’s so funny, hyung? i wanna laugh.” woonggi, the maknae, pouted up at his older member. various versions of “yeah”s and “what’s funny”s colored the room—you even joined in once you came down from the effect of jisu’s ambush. 
donggeon looked at chihoon, then to kyungho, then back to chihoon; chihoon looked at the younger member with an expression that read “you’ve gotta dig yourself out of this one”, accompanied with a small smirk. 
“seeing yn get tickled was just funny, ahaha…” donggeon ‘confessed’ with an awkward laugh. “guess tickling is contagious! who knew…”
the mood in the room had changed, it’d become a little- erm- awkward. you noticed this, and spoke up. 
“what’s up with you guys?” 
the nine boys, excluding jisu, looked around at each other with wide eyes. the left out man in question looked to his members with confusion. 
see, jisu didn’t know that the boys were on to his romantic interest. not that he thought he did a particularly good job of hiding it, he just didn’t think his friends cared enough to pay attention. they’ve got their own things to worry about, right?
when your question solicited no response, you decided to make up some kind of excuse to leave the room. “uh, okay. i’m gonna run to the corner mart and grab a snack. you guys want anything?”
you didn’t expect anyone to speak up due to the tension in the room, but when minsu (your favorite member, don’t tell jisu) asked for a candy bar in the sweetest little voice you ever heard, you couldn’t help but crack a smile. grabbing your hoodie, phone, and their spare key,  you made your way to the dorm’s elevator. the entire trip to the store you couldn’t help but wonder if the boys had you figured out, and if that’s why the mood dropped so quickly. 
meanwhile, back at the dorm, chaos ensued. 
“we know you like them, and your painful attempts at flirting are obnoxious and annoying!” chihoon, unable to hold back in your absence, blurted out. 
“yeah, hyung, the tickling- that’s like, gotta stop.” jeyou added, the layer of hesitation in his voice softening the firmness of what he intended to sound like.
jisu argued with his members back and forth—every time he would try to deny his feelings for you or say that flirting wasn’t his intention, another one of his friends would come with a rebuttal that instantly shut him up. not for long though, as he would go back to denying or making claims soon after. this cycle continued over and over and over and over again, never seeming to end. 
not even when you stood in the doorway, hoodie on, black ‘thank you, come again’ mart bag in hand. 
you swore it was a good five minutes that you were just standing, listening to jisu and his members talk about you like you weren’t there; in all fairness, to them you weren’t. you heard jisu deny any feelings for you (which hurt) and then another member say that that was absolute bullshit (which gave you hope). the cycle would have truly been endless, so much so that you forced yourself to stop it. 
“ya!!” you yelled at the top of your lungs. “shut up!” all eyes were on you now, some shocked and some apologetic. the tension in the room had grown to be the same as before you left. 
“listen, you know i love hanging out with you guys but, clearly, you have a lot going on. i’ll just-” you fumbled into the black bag, pulled out minsu’s candy bar, and placed it on the table nearest you. “i’ll come back later when you’ve got this whole...thing...figured out.”
without hesitation, you turned around and exited the door through which you had just come. also without hesitation, jisu jumped up to run out the door after you. he thought it’d be easy to sort things out when it was just the two of you. 
he was wrong. 
you turned around to be greeted by jisu’s company in the hallway, half shocked half not. the way your hair fell and the expression on your face made it nearly impossible for anything to come out of jisu’s mouth. however, he managed. 
“how much of that did you hear?” he shyly asked, hand nervously rubbing the back of his neck. 
“more that i would’ve liked to. i mean, not in the way that i was offended or anything- i just wanted you guys to shut up, haha…” you offered a weak joke to lighten the mood between yourselves. it might not have taken the tone from cool to warm, but it did earn a small chuckle from the man in front of you, and that was enough. 
“listen, yn, i do like you. a lot. i mean, i kinda thought you knew but i didn’t want to say anything because...you know? i don’t want to ramble or anything…”
“yeah, yeah...i get you.” you said, your and jisu’s eyes meeting. all the pressure in the room seemed to have disappeared in that moment, and you found yourself smile. jisu returned the small action. 
“i’m still gonna head home. you guys have schedules tomorrow, you should rest.” you gulped, preparing yourself for what you were about to propose next. 
“but, next time, let’s hang out- yknow, just the two of us? we don’t have to do anything fancy, and you can still tickle-attack me!” 
“i mean, you had me at the two of us but i definitely would not have refused after the tickle-attack promise!”
you and jisu shared a laugh and one more smile. as much as you didn’t want to, you oblige yourself to depart from your...friend? honestly, it didn’t matter what you said you were, because the entire ride home you wore that same stupid grin; that told you everything you needed to know.
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seuljin · 5 years ago
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JockRyujin x ChoirLia!
Anonymous asked: “okay so a random anon had answered on my behalf for that ryujisu prompt HAHAHAH but anyway I’m a sucker for school scenarios! so why not jock!ryu who’s actually smart and choir girl jisu (yes we luv opp attracts) heh they’ve been project mates for months now and feelings blossomed. so ryu asks jisu out on a first date! you can add anon’s idea into it too! ❤️❤️”
Warnings: None
Requested by: Anonymous 
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Lia had been staying after school for practice with her choir. They had to work on their hardest song on the year, and Lia, being the most skilled, wanted to make sure everyone knew all of the tips and tricks. 
Needless to say, Lia was a bit shy. She had amazing grades and a good reputation. No one really messed with her because they knew her parents might sue.
“Okay,” Lia mumbled to herself as she wandered the almost empty school. “Lockers...”
She almost hopped over to the lockers when she saw them. When she went to open it, she found her choir binder with all of her songs in it. But..there was something else, too.
Lia’s eyes widened as she eyed the item. 
A rose...with a note?
Looking around to make sure no one was present, she took the note, nervously unfolding it. It was written on pink paper in surprisingly neat handwriting.
“Hey Lia. I know we never talk, but I just wanted to tell you that I’d love to get to know you more...maybe even go places together. I’ve been keeping an eye on you for the whole year. You’re very cute and...”
Lia tilted her head as she read it. The rest of the note was practically scribbled out. Nonetheless she appreciated the gesture. It was so kind. She loved it until she read the rest that wasn’t scribbled out...
“...I’ve been assigned to be your student. You know, like you’re my mentor. Can’t wait, baby~
Ryujin.
Lia immediately dropped the note. It fluttered down and gently hit the ground. She was so shocked that no one had told her that she was going to be teaching RYUJIN. SHIN Ryujin...
Ryujin was definitely a player. She was involved in tons of sports and had not so good grades. She definitely was smart, it was just that she never tried in class. She also had a tendency to flirt. Lia knew she’d have to work really hard.
The next day, Lia walked into the school like normal. Usually she went to the choir room before school started so she could practice. But today would be different.
She hummed to herself as she walked towards the hallway with her favorite classroom in it. As she was opening the door, a hand aggressively grabbed her shoulder and pulled her back. 
“Hey, you!”
Lia looked back as she nervously fixed her hair. Her eyes were on a girl with short blue hair, ripped jeans, a leather jacket...
Oh no.
“Oh, umm, Ryujin! It’s so nice to meet you! Here.” Lia held out one of her hands to shake with Ryujin. Ryujin shook her head. “I don’t do handshakes.”
“Oh.” Lia’s eyes immediately went to the ground. She felt...embarrassed in some way. Already starting off with an introduction like that....
“Hey.” Ryujin grabbed Lia’s chin and pointed up so she could see her face. Lia felt her face go hot. She’d never seen Ryujin up close...she was so gorgeous.
Ryujin whispered as she stared into her eyes, “I’ll see you later, baby.”
She then let go and walked off, hands behind her head. Lia was just in such huge shock. 
Was she flirting with me...?
After school that day was their first tutor session. Lia had taken some extra time to make flash cards and other essentials so it’d be easier for Ryujin to understand. Although her mind was only replaying the events from earlier, making it hard to focus.
Lia had been sitting in the library for ten minutes when she heard the door open. Ryujin walked in, jacket slung over her shoulder. She glanced around, probably looking for Lia. Lia waved and Ryujin spotted her, nodding her head as she walked over and sat down.
“Hey, princess. How’ve you been?”
Lia immediately felt her face go hot once more. How can such words make her feel so attracted in a way? She wanted to ignore it, so she tried her best.
“I’ve been doing good,” Lia shyly said as she watched Ryujin put her legs on the table. “I hope you have been doing the same.”
Ryujin nodded. “Yeah, just the usual. Got into a fight the other day.”
The brunette was not surprised at this. She’d heard about tons of fights, most of them actually involved Ryujin.
“Oh...I hope you’re okay.”
Ryujin scoffed and smirked at Lia. “There’s no worry needed! Do you see any injuries? I can get away with any sort of shit that I want to.”
Lia felt...intimidated by Ryujin. She felt as if she were her prey. But, she slid those feelings aside.
“O-Okay, that’s nice to know. Anyways, we should probably begin the lesson.”
The two studied for maybe an hour, and actually ended up talking an hour more. They seemed to get along well.
And the days continued like that for the rest of the tutoring sessions. They laughed together, talked together...everything was great. And Ryujin knew that soon, she’d have to tell Lia her feelings. She couldn’t just keep them in for the rest of the year. So today would be the day.
“So,” Ryujin said as she got up and stretched. “Ready for next session, teacher?”
Lia nodded, not knowing the huge smile on her face was VERY obvious. “Of course! If it makes it easier for you to learn.”
The blue haired girl scoffed. “I don’t need to learn about subjects.” She leaned in close to Lia. “But I’d love to learn more about you.”
Lia, as expected, felt her face go red. More flirting? As expected from Ryujin.
“And the only way I can learn about you is to do things with you.” She moved a strand of Lia’s hair out of her face for her as Lia stood up nervously. 
“So...” 
“Would you be willing to go out with me?”
Lia’s eyes widened. She’d never ever had a date before! But something else was off...
“Ryujin...” Lia smirked at her as Ryujin’s eyes widened. “What?”
“Were you nervous?” Ryujin shook her head. “N-No! I’m never nervous.”
Lia giggled as she took Ryujin’s hand. “Okay, then. I guess you can tell that this is a yes from me.”
Ryujin felt her heart beat faster as she looked at Lia. Her pure smile, beautiful pair of eyes...everything was perfect.
“Y-Yeah...I guess it is.”
END
Okay I messed with the original idea a bit, they weren’t project partners but Ryujin needed tutoring since her grades were bad. As soon as I saw this one I just knew I had to do it right away, my inspiration is boiling so I’m going to go finish some of the other requests as I post this! I hope you liked it!
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whynct · 4 years ago
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hey look, it’s EUN JISU ! she’s TWENTY years old and originally from SEOUL, SOUTH KOREA. now she’s in new york, working as a WAITRESS at LULU’S. i heard she’s pretty OVERWHELMING, but i think she’s so LIVELY at the same time. has she found her calling on the avenue ? ➸ kim ji-woo, lesbian, female + she/her - PENNED BY LUX.
born and raised in seoul to an extremely conservative family, jisu grew up to be particularly naive. though the kinds of media she was able to consume were limited by her parents, she’d seen enough of films to know that she wanted to travel the world as soon as she was able. in high school, she’d made a small group of friends that she grew rather close with, despite her parents disapproval. and as soon as they were all able, they took a trip to new york, and never came back. there, in the big apple, jisu was introduced to all the things she’d been missing out on. relationships, sex, mature media, drugs, everything a new and exciting experience. after being taken to the avenue one night, jisu felt something in her light up, like a spark. she was handing in her resume for lulu’s the next day, and has been working there ever since.
jisu is highly energetic, and it can be too much for some people. quite frankly, she easily comes across as obnoxious and annoying.
once you get past that she is very cute uwu baby 
always trying her hardest, always doing her best, sometimes gets upset when she’s not good enough !!
is infatuated with girls, and sometimes forget to do her job bc she’s too busy watching the performers.
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wishxingwt · 5 years ago
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𝑯𝒂𝒕𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖 [이필릭스] 05
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「 Bae Jisu and Lee Felix used to be the best of friends. But one incident at the party, made Jisu change and hate Felix. Couple of years later, they run into each other again. Will Jisu stop hating Felix, or will be friends again or more than friends? 」
》 Warning: toxic/abusive relationships, sexual themes, cursing, mentions of a traumatizing event.
》 Genre: fluff and angst
A/N: wow it’s been awhile since I’ve updated this!
Jisu woke up to Felix snuggling into her. She looked around, she wasn’t at home, she was at Felix’s. She checked her phone for a missed call or a message from Hyunbin, but her phone was empty.
Jisu tried to get out of bed, but she woke up Felix instead.
“Hmm. What time is it?” He asked as he stretched his arms and legs.
“It’s like 6:45 in the morning why?”
“Get ready I want to talk to Jihyun before we get to class” he said as he rose up.
“But I didn’t bring any of my clothes with me and my backpack is back at Hyunbin’s place” she said as she played with her fingers.
“Well I’ll drive you there so you can collect your backpack. And after class we’re getting your stuf too. Okay?” He asked as she nodded.
Felix got out of bed and head towards his room. Before he left, he turned to Jisu and smiled. Jisu stood up and went towards the closet. She opened the doors and saw some of Felix’s sisters clothes in there.
Satisfied by what she picked out. Jisu walked out the room. She looked around, it must be hard for Felix to be away from his family that is in Australia.
“No wonder you go every break we have for school...” she mumbled quietly.
“Go where?” Felix deep voice boomed as it caught Jisu’s train of thought.
“To Australia.”
“Yeah” he said quietly. “Once we finished college, I was planning on moving back there.”
Jisu was sad over the news, she has now forgave him and now they only have about a school year left before he moved back.
“Don’t be sad” he said as he patted her shoulder. “I promise I’ll come and visit when I can!”
Jisu just nodded and then went out the door, Felix following behind her. The car ride to Hyunbin’s place was scary. Jisu didn’t know if he was going to be home or not. But she let that thought slide out because he might just be at Jihyun’s apartment. Felix parked outside the entrance to the apartment complex and unlocked the car doors.
“I’ll be right here when you come right back out” he smiled at her. Jisu unbuckled her seatbelt and walked inside. As Felix watched her go inside, he had an uneasy feeling in his stomach.
She walked inside the apartment, it look the same as last night when she ran out. She walked into the kitchen and saw her backpack in the dining chair where she always leaves it after classes. Jisu grabbed her bag and was about to walk out the door before a string force pushed her into the wall, trapping her with their body.
“You think you can leave me just like that?” A rough voice said. It was Hyunbin’s voice.
“Let me go please” she said as she tried to push him, but he was more stronger than her. “You belong to me!”
Hyunbin started kissing her roughly and tried to take off the sweater she was wearing.
“Hyunbin stop please!” She said as she tried to stop his hands, but he wouldn’t budge. Jisu pleaded in her mind that he would stop, and seconds later she heard a body hit the ground hard.
“You motherfucker” Hyunbin said as he looked up at Felix glaring at him. Felix got on top of him and started punching him.
“Felix stop!” Jisu said as she pulled him away Hyunbin.
“You’ll regret this!” Hyunbin called out as they both walked out the apartment.
Once they were safe insides Felix’s car, they drove to school.
“I saw him entering the lobby and I immdiately got worried and ran out my car. I’m sorry if I wasn’t fast enough” he said.
“It’s fine, you came right in time. Just imagine what would’ve happened if you didn’t see him..” she trailed off. The car ride was silent until they made it on campus.
“Let’s go.”
They both walked onto campus. Felix and Jisu looked inside every classroom for Jihyun but couldn’t find her.
“Let’s just go to the student area. Maybe she’ll be there” Jisu said as he nodded.
“You still seem pretty down from earlier” he said.
“Yeah it’ll be boring without you here. I just forgave and things” she said as she played with her fingers.
“I also notice how you play with your fingers when you like someone” he teased. “You like me don’t you Jisu?”
“Yah! Why......you.....I-“ Jisu said before she was cut off by a voice.
“Felix! What are you doing here so early?” Jihyun asked as she clung onto Felix, pushing Jisu in the process.
“I don’t like it when you cling onto me” he said to her coldly.
“What’s the problem?” She asked.
“The problem is you Jihyun!”
Jihyun was taken back by what Felix said, “w-what do you mean?”
“I tried to look on the other side of you about the things I heard about you! You sleep with others peoples boyfriends, just so you can get ahead and above people. And I just thought it was just rumors!” He stated as a crowd started forming around them.
“I knew you didn’t like Jisu, by the first time you guys saw each other. I’ve pretended to think that you weren’t going to stoop so low to ruin her life and now look what you did. She walked in to you and her boyfriend. I’m just going to say this once and once only, stay away from Jisu and I!” He then grabbed Jisu’s hand and stormed out the student area and into the courtyard. People around Jihyun started whispering and she just stormed away.
After Jisu’s class was finished, she walked outside and sat a the table she always sits at to study. It’s under a tree and you can see the river from distance. Out of nowhere she heard footsteps come closer to her and she turned to see Seungmin with an envelope.
“Seungmin!” She said surprised. “What are you doing here?”
“I came to deliver you this!” He said and handed her the envelope. “It looks to be from a secret admirer.”
Jisu opened the envelope and a piece of paper flew out of it.
Annyeong Jisu-ah! You must be curious about who I am! I asked Seungmin to deliver this to you! You must find the other 5! See you soon! <3
“Who’s this from?” She asked.
“You must see to find out!” He said with a smile.
Jisu gathered her things and put them in her bag. She then bid Sengmin a goodbye and walked to find the other three. While walking back to the student area, she saw one tied to a tree. She went to grab it.
Aha you found the second one! Alright I’ll give you a hint! The third one is where you get your favorite coffee and pastries from! <3
She immediately thought of the cafe that’s down the street. The cafe always smelt of brewed coffee and the cleaning products they use to clean the counters and tables.
“Ah you must be looking for this!” The barista said as she gave Jisu the envelope and an iced latte. She sat her coffee down and looked inside and took out the letter.
You’re so close! This one is pretty easy like the rest! The fourth is where you work at! <3
She rolled her eyes. Of course they’ll give her the easiest ones last. She then ran to Mae’s restaurant. It was a pretty far run from the cafe.
She made it there and Mae was busy with a table.
“Ah Jisu! I guess you’re here for the letter instead of work” she sighed playfully and then handed her the envelope with a smile. “I hope you two stay together forever.”
Almost there into finding me! Remember that lake that used to be near your old elementary school? Well that’s where you’ll find your final clue! See you soon Jisu <3
“Thank you Mae” Jisu said as she smiled and then ran out the restaurant.
She had to catch the bus, due to the elementary school being a little outside of Seoul. Once she made it, she walked towards it and saw the last clue tied around a tree like the second one.
You finally get to know who I am! Well after you finish reading this, turn around and you’ll find out who I am! <3
“Turn around?” She mumbled confused.
“Hey turn around!” A familiar voice said. Jisu turned and saw Felix with a bouquet of flowers.
“Felix I-“ she was taken back. Her best friend from childhood, standing right in front of her wanting to confess. She was caught off by a chuckle coming from him.
“You must be surprised right?” He asked and she nodded. “I’ve always liked you!”
“When did you start liking me Felix?”
“Remember that day after our middle school ceremony for introducing the staff and teachers to us and it was raining hard. Well you being the idiot you are forgot your umbrella and I had to walk you home. Us being that close made me feel feelings I haven’t experienced with you yet. I remember looking over at you every second I had. I also had to hide that I was blushing too. After that day the feelings grew hard.” He said as he grabbed her hand.
“I was hoping to confess to you like this at graduation, but since that incident happen you hated me. But I decided to confess now before anything bad happen. Do you like me back?”
Jisu was too shocked to speak. All of this was too touching to her. She hadn’t noticed that she liked Felix even though she ‘hated’ him after the incident.
“I-I like you too” she said and a light went off in Felix’s eyes. He went and pecked her on the lips.
“I swear I’ll be a better boyfriend than Hyunbin!” He said as he gave her another kiss on the lips.
“What about my stuff?” She asked curiously.
“I had Seungmin and Chan help me get it and luckily he wasn’t there. I also heard him and Jihyun transferred from college and are moving somewhere else, maybe to the states” he said.
“Let’s go get dinner” he said as he held her hand tighter and then walked to his car.
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chocafe · 6 years ago
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— yoonbin as your boyfriend
pairing: boyfriend!yoonbin x reader a/n: requested by @jisuings ♡ i had to google what a kuudere was and once i read the description i realized that i might have made yoonbin into a total kuudere in this omfg my bad (also can we get some yoonbin gifs here sjshssjs)
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when you first met yoonbin, you thought he didn’t like you
because he had such a stone facial expression
*jihoon’s voice* just stone
and he also had a aura that screamed “hello, peasants, your ice prince is here!!!”
you were trying so hard to be his friend, but what was the point in trying if he genuinely didn’t like you???
right?????
instead of making assumptions, you decided to ask yoonbin yourself
“hey, yoonbin.” you tried your best to keep yourself composed. “please be honest with me. you don’t like me, right? it’s okay to tell me the truth. i just don’t want to annoy you if you truly dislike me.”
yoonbin was taken aback and you were able to see it in his face
that was your first time you’ve seen an actual expression from him
“huh? what made you think that i don’t like you?” yoonbin asked
not only was he shocked, but so were you
you were expecting him to admit that he hated you, but things went the other way
and now, it seemed like he didn’t despise you
not even one bit
“well, when we talk, you barely say anything. on top of that, your face says it all.”
“that’s just my face.”
yoonbin’s face 24/7: ( - ___ - )
he has a resting bitch face
yoonbin began to explain to you that he’s just like that as a person, so don’t think any wrong of it
“i actually like having you by my side. it’s refreshing because i usually don’t say much, but you’re so talkative with me despite that.” he added on, lowering his head a tad bit
he likes the change and how contrasting you two are
at that moment, he also liked you 
as in more than friends
but he kept that to himself and felt like he’d tell you that another time
he’s so shy when he’s around you!
“yoonbin, did i already tell you that you’re my favorite person in this whole entire world?” you joyfully said while clutching onto the side of his arm
instead of responding back, he pulled down his baseball cap to cover up his face
you didn’t get mad that he didn’t respond back
because you knew that he was staying silent because he constantly turns into a soft wreck whenever you say such sweet words to him
most of the times, he lowers his head and pulls down his cap whenever he’s blushing
he’s too embarrassed to let you see him in a state like that
but you find it absolutely adorable (ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧
i mean i would too
kisses between you two are usually very sweet
some people rush their kiss, but you guys like it to be very soothing and slow
sometimes, yoonbin chuckles in between your kisses because it just makes him remember how lucky he is to have you
yoonbin’s laughter is quite contagious because you oddly laugh too once he begins to
ya’ll are softies in the inside <3
an activity that you both enjoy doing is listening to music with one another
you or yoonbin would play a song
and you two would just listen to it in silence
once the song is over, you both would then discuss how beautiful the melody is, ways the song could have improved, how relatable the lyrics are, ect.
the songs tend to be more on the newer released side (so you two can experience listening to it for the first time together)
and if it wasn’t a new song
then yoonbin would play beenzino’s and dpr live’s songs
because he’d love it if his lover loved the same songs he loved
i purposely used love so much in one bullet point okay
guys pls listen to dpr live he’s my fav rapper and his music wont disappoint u DPR WE GANG GANG
every time you leave yoonbin’s house, you always come out with a new baseball cap or with a hoodie
at first, he would let you borrow his hoodies during the times you get cold
but now he gives it to you just because he likes seeing you wear his clothes
“take this before you leave.” he simply says, tossing his blue hoodie towards you
“why?” you questioned him as you stood in front of the door
“aren’t you cold?”
“not one bit.”
“okay, then you’re probably going to get cold later on.”
“i don’t think i will. i’m heading home and i have a bunch of my own hoodies that can keep me warm in my closet.” you tilt your head as you tried your best to understand what yoonbin exactly means
“well…” he pauses before he turns his back towards you “just keep it until the next time we meet.”
kuudere alert ! ! !
as talked about before, yoonbin doesn’t say much
you’ve never heard “i love you” spill out of his mouth
but you’re in no rush to hear him say it
you believe that he should take as long as he needs to in order to say and properly feel those three words
although, you can feel that the day will come soon
you believe so because yoonbin does things that makes you understand that he truly loves you in subtle ways
he buys you a bunch of mini gifts
solely based on the fact that it reminds him of you
“i saw this plushie while i was shopping. it’s cute and also it reminded me of you, so i bought it thinking that you’ll probably like it.”
“are you saying i’m cute just like this plushie?”
“ ( - ___ - ) ”
another gift he tends to buy you a lot are flowers
but every time he does this, the bouquet of flowers are always different
since flowers have symbolic meanings to them
he buys you flowers according to how he feels about you
carnations - ‘i miss you’: to signify that he dearly misses you when the two of you have been separated for quite a while
violets - ‘loyalty’: to show you that he is loyal and will always continue to be loyal to you, giving faith to your guys relationship
yellow tulips - ‘sunshine in your smile’: he loves to see you smile, so he gifts these to you on days when he randomly feels grateful to have you and your beautiful smile. your smile is as bright, and even brighter, than the sun shining on a summer day
aster - ‘symbol of love’: “i love you, y/n.”
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subtlerain · 7 years ago
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Mask - Part IV (final)
→ Yoongi x Reader
I ♥ II ♥ III ♥ IV
Genres: MAJOR FLUFF & ROMANCE, angst, just a lot of emotions
A/N: Hello everyone! So I’ve decided to end ‘Mask’ here. I’m sorry it has taken such a long time to get up, but I wanted to make sure I took time to work on the ending. Thank you all for the support on this series, and please look forward to new writing coming very soon! <3
Ask/requests  ♥  Masterlist
You rubbed your tired eyes, blinking at the white paper in front of you.
You glided your pencil over the surface, making a smooth line before shading in the drawing.
After a successful job at dying the member’s hair, the head stylist, Jisu, had told you that you were to start doing what you had been hired for, styling.
It was time for you to show your skills, in the form of sleek and sexy outfits for the seven idols.
You were sketching some ideas in your sketchbook, using inspiration from what Jisu had told you, and the title track of the new album.
So here you were, sat at your desk, sketching the last outfit at very late hours of the night.
You were tired, but needed to finish, which had taken you much longer than you anticipated, the glowing sun now below the horizon.
You dropped your pencil as you finished drawing, bringing your arms up over your head in a much-needed stretch.
Sighing, you closed your sketchbook, satisfied with your work.
For a moment, your mid wandered to Yoongi, the dark haired idol who had seemed to be invading your thoughts even more since when you dyed his hair.
That interaction had been cut short, just as a familiar image flashed in your mind. Yoongi had left abruptly, and you had not seen him since.
He was just to mysterious, so captivating.
And so familiar.
Shaking your head, you gathered your belongings, holding your sketchbook to your chest.
It was quiet in the building, the usual hustle-and-bustle of the workplace replaced with a peaceful silence as you made your way down the stairs.
As you were about to leave the building, your eye caught onto something behind you.
There was a light on down the hallway.
You furrowed your brow, wondering who else would be here so late. It certainly wasn’t any of the other stylists.
You made your way down the long hallway, passing the dance studio and dressing rooms, noting that no other staff member’s belongings were here.
You turned the corner to see a door cracked open slightly, light casting shadows down the dark hallway.
Your eyes flicked up to the sign on the door, heart beating faster as you read the name.
It was Yoongi’s private studio.
You knew he had one in the building, but you had never visited it, nor had a reason to.  
You approached the door cautiously, daring to look inside the room.
Yoongi was hunched over his desk, headphones strapped to his head as he clicked away at his computer, obviously working on a new song.
His hair was covered with a black beanie, giving him a casual look.
You watched him work, his head sometimes tilting or shaking as he clicked away.
You could almost feel the passion radiating off of him as he worked, the room completely silent around the musician.
Yoongi was so quiet most of the time, except when he was with the other members. You had watched him sometimes, laughing with the other guys, feeling slightly disappointed that he had barley ever smiled at you.  
All of a sudden, he abruptly turned around, causing you jump in surprise, your sketchbook falling from your arms and onto the floor.
Yoongi stared at you wide eyed before standing up and opening the door wider.
“Y/N?” He asked, furrowing his brow as he looked down at you. He looked just as tired as you, large bags under his dark eyes.
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t’ve been spying…” You trailed off, picking up your sketchbook.
Yoongi didn’t respond, his eyes grazing over your face. He surprised to see you of course, but that didn’t stop the butterflies from forming in his stomach as he stood in front of you.
Flustered, you adjusted your bag over your shoulder, staring to turn away, “I’m sorry again, I should get goi-“
Your words halted as Yoongi grabbed your wrist, the sudden action making you turn and look at him.
His eyes were wide, filled with something you couldn’t put your finger on.
“Just…I need some input on my song.” He stated simply, his eyes still looking into yours.
You felt lost for words as you looked away, feeling a shiver crawl up your back.
“Please.” His voice was softer now, almost begging.
“A-alright.” You said, your mind growing fuzzy.
Yoongi let go of your wrist, your hand falling limply to your side.
You watched as he pulled an extra chair so his desk, before sitting at the one he was in before.
You carefully walked in, letting the door close behind you.
You shrugged off your coat and bag, placing them down on the small table.
You looked around the studio, the whole room covered with posters and awards and pictures. It truly was his studio.
You sat down carefully, suddenly realizing how close you were to the Idol. You gazed at him from the corner of your eye as he clicked around on his keyboard, the bright light from the computer monitor making his pale skin glow.
You swallowed and looked away, focusing on the small figurines that were sat on the desk.
“Okay…” Yoongi said softly, opening a file on his computer.
He seemed flustered for a moment before turning to you.
“I want your honest opinion. I’ve been working on this for a long time. It’s kind of a secret project.” He explained.
You were completely surprised by his forwardness, nodding slowly as you looked at him.
For a moment, you wondered if you were even allowed to do this. Was it really okay for you to be here alone with him?
It’s for his music, it’s fine.
You felt your heart speed up as Yoongi carefully placed his headphones over your ears, all sounds being immediately muted around you.
Yoongi glanced at you once more, his finger hovering over the play button. He hadn’t planned for this to happen, but the need he felt to share his emotions for you were just too overpowering. He couldn’t tell you how he was feeling, but he could do it through his music, and this was his only chance.
He hit play, watching you carefully.
You blinked as the song started, a simple piano melody in the background. You breathed in as you heard his voice, a soft rap flowing into your ears.
You had listened to BTS music before, but this was different. His rap was soft and open, hesitant even.
But the words were powerful, passionate.
You felt butterflies explode in your stomach as you listened to the music, letting your eyes flutter shut.
It was beautiful. The lyrics were about love, a topic you didn’t think the rapper would focus on.
In the rain, a soft touch
She walks, a simple smile on her face.
I want to know her,
I want to see her,
She’s here, but so far
I want to hold her, so close to me
The girl who walks in the rain
Set me free
Your chest tightened at the words, heart speeding up as you let them settle in.
It was too real. It couldn’t be.
The song faded out, the lyrics imprinted in your head.
This song was different, it was raw emotion, something you hadn’t expected from the idol. It wasn’t Suga or Agust D, it was Min Yoongi.
And it was beautiful.
Your eyes fluttered open.
Yoongi was looking at you, lips slightly parted as he looked for any emotion on your face.
You looked back at him, your eyes tracing over his features. Soft doll-like lips and high cheekbones beneath pale skin. Those eyes that you had wondered about ever since the day in the dressing room.
You carefully lifted the headphones off your head, placing them down on the table.
He watched your movements carefully, his own heart beating out of his chest.
You suddenly had a thought, one that could change everything.
You slowly reached into your back pocket, Yoongi’s eyes following your movements closely.
You produced the wrinkled black face mask, the one you had taken with you everywhere ever since the night in the rain.
“Y/N…” Yoongi said slowly as you unfolded the mask.
He looked at you, eyes wide as you brought it to his face, carefully tucking the strings around his ears.
You let your hands fall to your lap, a soft smile gracing your lips.
Those eyes that you had seen on the night in the rain were peering back at you, from between the face mask and black beanie.
The eyes that belonged to the man who had saved you, the one who made you laugh when you were crying, who you had felt something for ever since you first met.
“It’s you.” You said simply, feeling warmth flow through your body.
Yoongi stared back at you, feeling butterflies form in his stomach. “You’re so stupid, Y/N.” He said slowly, eyes crinkling as he smiled beneath the mask.
You laughed, the sound making the air around you less tense.
You looked back at him, “All along. It was you all along.” You shook your head in disbelief.
He flicked his eyes back to yours, “Now you know why I couldn’t tell you my name…”
You nodded. It all made sense. The expensive coat, dark clothes and hidden face. He was an idol. He was Min Yoongi.
You felt a shiver go through your body as his hands found yours, his fingers brushing against yours lightly. You swallowed as he held your hands in his, his soft touch making you dizzy.
“Why were you really out in the rain?” You asked, looking down at your intertwined hands. “I know for real now that it probably wasn’t for drug money or bank robbing…”
Yoongi chuckled, shaking his head at the memory, “I needed inspiration. I had been trying to write a song, but I couldn’t do it. I felt empty.” He rubbed his thumb softly over the back of your hand, “And then I saw you getting attacked.”
You looked away at the memory, remembering how scared you were, and how relieved you were when the mysterious man had come to your rescue.
“Thank you, Yoongi.” You smiled up at him, “I can finally say it now.”
He laughed at that, the sound taking you back to your conversation in the rain.
Without thinking, you leaned forwards and took the mask off his face, earning a questioning look from the boy in front of you.
You let the mask fall into your lap, “You don’t need to hide anymore.” You said simply.
“I thought you would’ve thrown it out.” Yoongi said, looking down at the black mask in your lap.
You shook your head, “This might sound weird, but it’s my good luck charm. I haven’t taken it out of my pocket since the morning my first day.” You admitted.
You glanced up at Yoongi. A small blush had formed on his cheeks, the sight making butterflies flutter around in your stomach.
You felt an intense pull towards him, suddenly allowing unspeakable thoughts into your head.
You suddenly felt your stomach drop, realizing what you were doing.
You stood up abruptly, causing the chair you were sitting in to topple to the ground.
“Oh my god.” You said quickly, running your hands through your hair, “This is-no, I shouldn’t be here. Oh god, what am I doing?!” You exclaimed. How could you let this happen to you? Why were you feeling this way?
Yoongi looked up at you, feeling confusion course through him.
“Oh god, I’m so sorry.” You said, covering your face with your hands. You were so dumb. He’s Min Yoongi, an Idol for your company. This could get you in deep trouble, or worse, fired.
“For what? Y/N?” Yoongi stood up, starting to step forwards. He felt his stomach drop, his heart clenching with fear.
“You’re an idol, Yoongi. You’re my client, I was hired to be your stylist!” You shook your head. Your mind was racing. What was happening to you?
“What does that mean? Y/N, I wrote that song for you.” He said, eyes wide, “You’re not a stylist to me, Y/N, you’re different. I haven’t been able to get you off my mind since the day we first met. Didn’t you hear the lyrics?”
Your heart clenched at his comment, but you looked away. “Yoongi, I just can’t. I’ll get fired, I’ll get charged for taking advantage of you-“
“Do you not feel the same way?” Yoongi said harshly, his eyes dark.
You stopped in your tracks, looking away. All your feelings came rushing down on you, your night in the rain, the song lyrics. “I can’t give in to my feelings. It’ll be bad for the both of us…”
“So you just forget? I’ve been trying to do that ever since I first saw you. Y/N, you’re killing me.” Yoongi moved closer to you. You knew you needed to leave, but you couldn’t. “You’ve been driving me crazy.”
You took in a breath as he stopped just feet away from you, his eyes bearing into yours.
“Yoongi…” You looked down. How badly you wanted to kiss him, feel the electricity flowing between you.
Yoongi tilted his head, “I’ve felt all these strange new things since I’ve met you. I never thought I’d seen you again. And here you are. You always appear right in front of me, Y/N.”
You swallowed, feeling your heart clench. Your body was pining for him, yearning for his touch.
You finally lifted your head to meet his eyes. They were wide and passionate, his words during into your mind.
You felt an overwhelming feeling wash over you, and Yoongi’s eyes darkened.
Yoongi flew towards you, slamming you against the wall as his lips smashed onto yours. The kiss was full of need, want, and passion. It made your head spin as he pressed you against the wall, his hand cupping your jaw, his lips moving against yours.
What you were doing was wrong, but it felt so right.
You let your hands trail up his back, letting the beanie fall to the floor was your fingers brushed through his soft hair.
Your body was on fire, the burning passion flowing through your veins.
With his body pressed against yours, you could feel the hum of his heartbeat, perfectly matching yours.
You let out a soft whimper as he kissed down your neck, each brush of his lips leaving you more and more breathless.
He stopped right before he reached the top button of your shirt, knowing that if he continued, he wouldn’t be able to control himself.
You leaned back against the wall as the two of you broke apart, heavy breaths escaping your lips.
Although your head was swimming with thoughts, your mind was clear, clear that the boy in front of you was right where he as supposed to be, pressed up against you, your hearts beating as one.
Yoongi pulled back from you, resting his palm on the wall behind your head, gazing down at you.
His lips were puffy and red, his face flushed, “Y/N, you’re everything to me. I’ve never been so sure of anything in my life.”
You gazed at him, all doubt seeping away, “Everything in the world seemed to be going against me when I first arrived.” You said slowly, intertwining your hand with his. “But then you came along, my knight in all-black armour."
Yoongi chuckled at your comment, bringing your hand up to his lips to kiss your knuckles before pulling you towards him into a tight embrace.
You sighed into his chest, feeling safe in his strong arms. You heard a familiar sound, and opened your eyes slowly to peer over his shoulder through the window, watching as small raindrops began to fall softly from the sky.
You smiled, everything fading away around the two of you, the soft rain matching the rhythm of your heart.
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ramix-the-red · 4 years ago
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A Shoulder to Cry On
Hey it's ya boi back at it again writing fanfic for an obscure fandom and a ship that's not even that popular in that obscure fandom. Not satisfied with just Code Vein's Louis/Cruz, I had to go even further beyond into obscure self-indulgent shipping fic that like two people will ever read. I was very into Closers a while ago, and I recently got back into it due to the server migration (RIP Enmasse). I decided to play through the new character Mirae's story for the event rewards, and while my expectations were low, I was instantly blown away, and her storyline quickly became one of my favorites, if not the favorite, and her relationship with Soohyun just makes me melt.
It's gotten to the point that I've actually started putting their names into Google Translate and trying to look up content for them, and I still haven't had any luck. I think this might actually be the first piece of fanfiction for this ship in existence which is simultaneously empowering and depressing. I don't expect this piece to get much attention, if any, but I hope whoever reads this enjoys it.
Ao3 Link Here
Soohyun Min leans against one of the various rock faces jutting out of the ground in the Purification Ops Center. It’s strange to think how less than a month ago he was studying up on UNION operating guidelines and trying to fill out his resume to apply as an intern, and now here he is, in the External Dimension, working alongside the Alpha Queen. And all because he went out on a crazy, stupid, near-suicidal trip into a garbage heap of an island in search of his missing sister.
And the craziest thing about it all, is that the legendary Jisu Seo isn't even the most significant meeting he’s had since he arrived on and escaped from that hellish island.
Mirae steps out through the portal, looking a little worse for wear, but much better compared to her previous expeditions against the Contaminated Phase Force. At first, the fights against the Contaminated Dimensional Monsters took a huge toll on her, and it had taken the combined efforts of himself and Suji Jeo to get her to take a break and recover. But over time, as she'd grown more accustomed to fighting against the beasts, and as he'd developed strategies for her to use against them, the Purification Ops had become much easier. The Alpha Queen herself had mentioned several times how unusually adept Mirae had become at facing off against the creatures in such a short span of time.
She takes a seat next to him on the floor, setting her scythe down beneath her legs as she brings her knees up to her chest, and he greets her with a warm smile.
"Great job! You beat your previous record that time," he informs her, reviewing the data on the mission he'd been recording on his tablet.
Mirae's lips quirk up into a small, proud smile at his praise. "How long did it take me this time?"
"Only two minutes and thirty-two seconds, a huge improvement over last time. I think you're really getting the hang of fighting against Yod," he tells her.
The Dimensional Monster known as "Yod" had been Mirae's biggest hurdle when she'd first started participating in the Purification Ops. The creature's intense power and it's odd, unpredictable attacks made it a very difficult match for Mirae's more direct fighting style, and she'd even been forced to retreat during her first fight against it, but now she could handle it almost as easily as the rest of the contaminated creatures. Mirae's growth never ceased to amaze Soohyun. Despite never having to face any real challenges until just recently, she'd acclimated quickly to the life of a Closer, and was growing stronger with each passing day. Even if she wasn't officially a Closer yet, he had no doubt that Inspector Celine would pass along her approval soon enough. UNION would have to be crazy to pass up a chance to have someone as amazing as Mirae in the fight against the Dimensional Monsters. He only hopes he could climb the ranks as quickly… the thought of someone else being assigned as her administrator while he's still an intern just doesn't sit right with him.
"It's all thanks to you, Soohyun."
He's broken out of his thoughts by the sound of her praise, and it catches him off-guard.
"H-huh? What do you mean?"
She smiles at him, resting her head on her knees as she gazes up at him. “It’s thanks to your advice that I was able to get this far. You helped me against the Island Lord, against Syrphid, and against all of the enemies here, too. You’re really incredible.” He has to clear his throat and look away before he can answer her, and wow he really hopes his face isn’t as red as it feels right now.
“Soohyun? Are you okay? Your face is really red, are you feeling sick?” she asks, sitting up as she reaches a hand out towards him in concern.
“A-ah! Yes, yes, I’m fine! No need to worry! J-just nerves, that’s all,” he says, waving her off in what he hopes is a reassuring gesture, but really only serves to make her worry even more.
She pouts with a huff as she puffs her cheeks out. “...You’re a bad liar, Soohyun.”
He chuckles nervously. “Ah, sorry. It’s just that… well, you’re the one who’s incredible. You’ve only started seriously learning how to use your Phase Force very recently. Back when we met on that island you fought like a novice, and now you’ve already gotten stronger than some Closers with years of experience,” he says, staring off at the strange darkness of the external dimension. “I really mean it, Mirae. You’re extraordinary. You probably don't realize it because you don't have any context for how strong you are, but you should be proud of yourself. I’m sure you’ll become a great Closer soon. Who knows? Maybe one day people will talk about you the way they talk about the Alpha Queen!” Now it’s her turn to blush at his praise, and he feels a hint of pride at the fact that he’s managed to at least turn the tables somewhat. Unfortunately, it doesn’t last long as she quickly manages to turn things back around on him. “Maybe. But you’re just as extraordinary, Soohyun," she says, with a smile that warms his heart, in spite of how cold it is out here in the Purification Ops Center.
"Ah, well, it's not like what I do is that special," he responds, clearing his throat nervously as he tries to meet her gaze, which is a lot harder than it should be right now. "I'm just training to be an administrator. Anyone else in my position could do what I did, really."
She shakes her head. "No, I don't think so. Back on the island, I never thought about how to fight, I just did what came naturally to me. I didn't consider things like strategies, or traps, or defense, like I do now. But you taught me those things, even after we'd only just met. I think that's pretty incredible, too. And…"
Soohyun stiffens as he feels Mirae rest her head on his shoulder.
"You told me… that a Closer and administrator are like family, right? They cry on each other's shoulders and help each other, right?"
He nods. "Yeah, that's right. If a Closer's job is to save people, then it's the administrator's job to save their Closers."  
She smiles. "That's special, too. Talking with you… feels like being with Haneul. I feel safe, like I can tell you anything. If that's an administrator's job, then you're really good at it. So… be more proud of yourself."
Mirae hesitates for a moment. " I wouldn't want anyone else as my administrator ," she whispers.
Soohyun feels his chest swell with pride and joy, as a feeling of comfort and warmth courses his through his body. "Thank you Mirae," he says. "I feel the same way. I wouldn't want to work on a team without you, either."
He doesn't say, " I wouldn't want anyone else to be your administrator."
But he thinks it.
The two of them stay in silence for a while, not moving from their spot. With the latest Purification finished, they have plenty of time to rest, so he's confident they won't be disturbed. At least not unless Suji Jeo comes over to find them and ruins the mood. She'd probably throw a fit if she found them in a position like this.
Soohyun breaks out of his trance when he hears a strange noise coming from Mirae. One that sounds like a mix between a grunt of effort, and a pained whimper.
"Mirae? Are you okay?"
She nods against his shoulder, still not having moved from her spot as she buries her face against him. "Mhm…"
He purses his lips, before asking again. "Are you sure? Is something the matter?"
She's quiet for a few moments. "...You said that a Closer cries on their administrator's shoulder, right? Can I cry on yours?"
"Well, I wasn't really being literal, but if you want, sure."
"I'm… trying to cry," Mirae says.
"Oh…" the realization dawns on him. "That's right… you told me before that you had trouble crying, right?"
"When my brothers and sisters died… when the kids from the island, when Ara died… even when Haneul died… I still couldn't cry," she mutters, burying her face deeper against the fabric of his shirt. " Is there something wrong with me?" she whispers, so quiet he's not even sure if he was meant to hear it.
"No. No, there's nothing wrong with you, Mirae," he says immediately. Soohyun raises a hand, and begins running it through her long white hair in what he hopes is a soothing gesture. He feels her posture relax against him, so it seems to work, and that's all the motivation he needs to keep doing it.
"What you're feeling is perfectly normal. There are a lot of cases like yours," he tells her.
"Really?" she asks, a tinge of hope in her voice.
"Yeah. A lot of victims of trauma like you have to numb themselves to the pain in order to cope. In a case like yours, it's perfectly normal not to cry. If you could… you might not be able to stop," he tells her, his voice soft.
"Then… it's okay for me not to cry?"
"Yeah, it's okay. There's nothing wrong with you, Mirae, you've just been hurt. A lot. It's like an illness, it just needs to be treated," he says, still running his fingers through her hair.
God. This girl doesn't belong out here. She shouldn't be fighting monsters and risking her life after everything she's been through. She should be in therapy, recovering from the horrendous amount of suffering she's been forced to endure. She should be going to school, like a normal girl, she should be enjoying all of the things she never got to experience. She should be healing.  
Maybe he should get in contact with his brother, and try to see if he can pull some strings, but…
No. She wouldn't want that, even if he offered it. He knows that. But still…
Soohyun's never been the type to be jealous of Phase Users. Sure, every kid who grew up in Busan wanted to be the Alpha Knight, but by the time he was old enough to know he didn't have Phase Force, he was already mature enough to accept that. Instead, he decided to throw himself into his studies, aiming to become an administrator and help in his own way. But now…
He wishes he could be the one with Phase Force, so that he could rip apart the people who did this to her.
He wonders when and why he started having such violent thoughts, and the conclusion he reaches worries him.
"Soohyun?"
Her voice snaps him back to reality. "Yes?"
"You said that this feeling is an illness… does that mean there's medicine for it?" she asks, with a twinge of hope, tilting her head up ever so slightly with those puppy dog eyes of hers.
He smiles at her, and nods. "Yeah. There are medicines that can help you, but like on the island, they won’t cure you by themselves, they’ll just help you manage it. What you need is to speak with a doctor who’s trained to treat that kind of thing,” he explains.
“...Can you help me?”
“Well… I’m not a licensed professional or anything. But if you ever need to talk, I’ll be here for you,” he says. “As your… administrator.” Mirae smiles as she closes her eyes and nuzzles up against him. “Thank you…” she whispers. “That’s good… there's no one I trust more."
A moment later, she slumps down and falls on his lap, and he goes stiff as a board.
"M-mirae?" He squeaks out.
Upon closer examination, he sees that she's merely fallen asleep. It seems the fight with Yod wore her out more than she'd let on. It's probably for the best that she gets some rest.
However, this leaves Soohyun with a conundrum. He could try to move her and leave her to sleep someplace else… but that would involve waking her. Alternatively, he could just let her rest where she is… which would involve staying in this rather awkward position. Not only are his legs starting to fall asleep, but there's a very distinct possibility that Suji will actually murder him if she sees them like this.
It'd probably be best for everyone involved if he just wakes her up and leads her over to the resting area, but…
Oh man, he's got it bad .
With a sigh of resignation, Soohyun closes his eyes and leans his head back against the cold hard stone he's resting on. He decides it's best if he tries to get some sleep, and soon enough, it finds him.
When the two of them wake up a few hours later, his legs are very, very sore, Suji Jeo is very, very mad, and it was very, very worth it.
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baekkxong · 7 years ago
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A-List – Part 2
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Part 1
Pairing: BTS Jungkook X Reader
Genre: Angst
Warning: Swearing
Word Count: 1,834
A/N 2 months later and it’s updated im sosorry
You were miserable. Miserable to the point that you no longer found dancing, singing and performing an enjoyment of yours. It was all laborious, tiring and arduous. It required such strenuous effort and you no longer found the motivation or excitement in your work. You used to find being an idol such a blessing – you were one among the incredibly lucky ones. Yet now, you wondered quite how immoral you must have been to deserve experiencing such an unfair scenario. You could feel yourself drifting away from your bandmates, becoming more spiteful towards even the friendliest workers in the company, and tending to stay in your room until you needed to come out.
Once Jisu, Mijin and Yeona had heard the news, they’d bombarded you with questions: why didn’t you tell us beforehand? Wasn’t he treating you right? I thought you were head over heels for him? It had all become so overwhelming they’d reduced you tears, crying into their arms while avoiding answering a single one of their questions.  
While you’d got away with remaining secretive about the whole deal with Jungkook, Jisu had decided she’d have to pursue what happened in order to help heal you. You had been in your room tidying relentlessly – something which had become a coping habit of yours - when Jisu had let herself inside.
“Hey,” she approached you softly, soft brown eyes adjusting to the dim lighting in the room. You threw the last pillow on your bed and looked up to see her. She was dressed in a strap top and pyjama shorts, face clean of makeup and hair up in a messy bun. You were in similar attire, although you felt nothing as radiant as she looked in her natural state.
“Hi.” Your voice was quiet.
She lowered herself down onto your bed, reaching for your wrist and tugging gently. You sat next to her. The tension between the both of you was like that of friends who’d recently fought. Jisu was behaving as if you’d explode any second; she was stepping on eggshells.
“I just wanted to talk,” Jisu shrugged, “to you.”
“About what?” you questioned, although you needn’t have asked.
“You know… the situation.”
You frowned uncomfortably and looked away from her, finding something on the wall of your room to look at instead. Jisu shifted closer to you and reached for both your wrists which were resting between your thighs.
“Y/N, anyone can see how shit you feel. And that you miss Jung- ” You whipped your head around, wincing and shocking her to silence for a moment. Jisu sighed. “We’re all worried about you. You can open up to me, you know. Please, it’ll make you feel better. And how can we help if you’re caging yourself away from us?”
You were trying so hard, holding with all your might to keep the brick wall you’d built from collapsing. Feeling like a child, you bit your lip to push the tears back and looked away. The wall was trembling. Seeing Jisu so anxious and sympathetic hurt you, and soon were unable to protect the wall from the tremors. You burst into tears, sobbing into Jisu’s shirt while she rubbed your back comfortingly. You stayed like that for a while before finally leaning away from her and looking her into her concerned eyes.
“Hyunwoo made me do it. Of course I never wanted to break up with Jungkook; I love him so much. I never wanted any of this to happen.”
You’d never seen Jisu’s eyes filled with so much sincerity.
“Break up with him?! What? Why?” you demanded, challenging Hyunwoo. He opened his mouth to respond, but instead you interrupted him. “You think me breaking up with him is going to make more money for you?! Look at you,” you gestured to your manager – still sitting on the desk and looking down at you as if he were a king – “you’re richer than all of us put together. Instead of watching our earnings run into your pocket, why don’t you invest in the wellbeing of the members?” you ranted, unable to control yourself as the accusations kept coming out.
Hyunwoo remained scarily calm.
“Y/N,” he began, shifting slightly and allowing you to recognise the pounding of your blood in your head, “I don’t appreciate the way you’re speaking to me.”
You were silent.
“You will break up with him tonight.”
“… Why me?” you asked, your throat hoarse as you daren’t let any tears arise.
“It’s your relationship. You do it. And you will not tell him the truth.”
“Excuse me?”
“Right, picture this. Y/N, you’re tired of dealing with the publicity. The hate is getting to you. You hate how your relationship is a spectacle for fans all over the world. That is why you’re breaking up with him.” Hyunwoo set the scene as easily and as casually as if you were filming a music video. He was getting you into your role – getting you in the head of who you were playing as you often did. While Hyunwoo’s director instincts were great, often producing fantastic ideas, it meant he viewed the world with great expectations, as if everything were literature and he were the writer. He enjoyed being in control, to write the story and watch the events unfold and fall into place.
“You expect me to lie to him?” Your voice was barely a whisper and your manager had to strain to hear you.
“You of all people know what Jeon Jungkook’s like. He won’t stand for it. He can be rather hot-headed, can’t he?” You wanted to defy him, to say that lying wouldn’t be necessary, but you full well knew how angry Jungkook would become. Hyunwoo was right, and it made you sick. Talking about Jungkook like that felt so personal; discussing his personality only made your heart warm with familiarity, but was soon struck with ice once the circumstances crawled back to you. Even Hyunwoo knew that Jungkook would be upset and protective over you – and it only broke your heart more.
Searching desperately for an excuse, you wildly attempted to stall the process one last time.
“It wouldn’t make any sense – breaking up with him now. We’re so happy at the moment,” you tried.
“Y/N,” Hyunwoo said sternly. “Just do it.”
He gave you a look which you knew all too well, one that screamed the threats he had in mind. You had crossed Hyunwoo one too many times and had certainly learnt to obey him. All four of you had grown to become submissive and respectful towards your manager. It was unfair and inhumane, his form of mental torture, but it also made you successful. While what he did was wrong, you had all been twisted to believe that it was justified – you lived a glorious life loved by all the world after all.
Your group had been close with the whole of BTS, frequently visiting their dorms like college kids. You no longer went. The other three girls noticed that Jungkook hardly joined them anymore, and while the nine of them were used to the two of you being absent, an unhappy aura hung low in the air. You two would only be absent as you were together - and the thought that you were both in your rooms alone, mourning the relationship, made everyone uncomfortable. It was all so different and wrong.
Everyone sans for both you and Jungkook were huddled in BTS’ living room. Some were slung lazily on the sofas and chairs, while some crowded round the coffee table, sitting cross-legged on the carpet. You’d ordered pizza and had put a movie on, which ran quietly in the background while you all chatted.
“I still can’t believe Y/N broke up with Jungkook. It just seems so unlike her – weren’t they happy?” Namjoon asked, sitting in front of the small table while trying his best to build a house of cards. Jisu was silent, staring at the floor and convincing herself that spilling the truth wouldn’t necessarily fix things.
Yeona frowned. “I know, it’s so strange. Y/N’s been miserable the whole time. It sucks seeing her like this.”
“Then why’d she do it?” Yoongi questioned, sitting with his legs swinging over the armrest of his sofa chair and pulling out an earphone.
“Speaking of,” Jisu interrupted, attempting to steer the conversation away while also gaining some kind of information. “How is Jungkook?”
Namjoon opened his mouth to respond before the door of the sitting room opened. It was Jungkook himself, dressed in a huge red hoodie with the hood up, concealing his messy hair. All eyes fell on him, tracing his movement. There were dark circles under his eyes, and while they were grey, they stood out as if they were fluorescent.
“Jungkook! You going to join us?” Jimin piped up, smiling extra widely to his friend and attempting to lighten the mood in the room.
“Just came to get pizza,” Jungkook answered, making his way to the coffee table and picking up the last, cold slice in one of the cardboard boxes.
“Why don’t you stay? We can play a game of cards,” Jisu suggested and glanced at Namjoon, who had almost finished building his tower. Namjoon flicked an evil glance back at her – it had taken him all night to get as far as he had with the playing cards just then, but would really do anything if it meant improving Jungkook’s mood.
“Nah, I’m good. Tired.” He turned and departed the room while everyone watched after him with sad eyes.
“Yeah, not so well,” Taehyung sighed, answering Jisu’s previous question.
“At least he ate something this time,” Hoseok said, eyes lingering on the now empty pizza box.
You found yourself in Hyunwoo’s office again, and never had you hated your job quite so much as you did in that particular moment. You stood lazily, your posture untidy and unattractive while you glared aimlessly at a painting of a gloomy and desolate forest, where a strange white path stretched forwards to nowhere behind your manager’s head.
“Are you listening?” he hissed, and you blinked, in an attempt to bring yourself back to reality.
“Sorry, yes.”
“You were tying him back, holding him down. Jungkook didn’t deserve that. Now he’s thriving, don’t you see it? Their comeback was a tremendous success, and it’s all thanks to you.” He smiled falsely. Hyunwoo structured his words carefully to make sure you were both aware that it was in fact him who had boosted BTS’ success, not you, by steering your relationship to a dead end. Your band’s sales had increased also, however Hyunwoo cautiously decided not to address that. He was snide, and soon he’d drilled it into your head that you should feel guilty. “Jungkook must maintain his innocent, maknae image. You understand that, don’t you?”
You nodded, and soon realised that your fingernails, which had been digging into your elbow, had drawn blood.
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fridayhqs · 5 years ago
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hey  LILLIAN  KIM  ,  welcome  to  dillon  university  .  has  anyone  ever  told  you  you’re  CHOI  JISU  ’s  twin  ?  no  ?  well  okay  ,  i  heard  you  are  EIGHTEEN  &  a  FRESHMAN  at  the  university  .  we  hope  MUSIC  PERFORMANCE  isn’t  kicking  your  ass  too  much  ,  especially  since  you’re  a  FLYER  .  see  you  at  the  next  game,  LIL  &  cis  female  +  she/her  .  (  elle  ,  she/her  ,  22  ,  bst  )
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ACCEPTED !  welcome  to  dillon  university  ,  LILLIAN  !  we’re  glad  to  have  you  on  campus  with  us  .  you  have  24  hours  to  settle   &  send  in  your  account  ,  don’t  forget  ,  practice  is  starting  soon  !  choi  jisu    is  now  taken  .
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deansoutros · 7 years ago
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Black [M]
A/N: OK BITCHES FUCKING FINALLY AM I RIGHT. IT’S BEEN TWO FUCKING MONTHS BUT CH 6 IS FINALLY HERE. a couple of things tho
a. MILLIC’S ALBUM IS FUCKING OUT YALL!! GO LISTEN TO IT. IT’S CALLED VIDA AND FANXYCHILD IS IN IT!
b. i have beef w this ch. i had it finished long ago but i didn’t like it so i never posted it. after reading the whole fic again i thought it went alright with it so i kept it and touched up a couple things. 
c. I HAVE A SEPERATE ONE SHOT COMING UP ABOUT CRUSH AND HIS NEW....FRIEND OK. 
d. thank you so much for waiting so long. and thanks to all the ppl who kept sending messages, i hope i didn’t let you down :( enjoy my lovelies!
( also, i think i’m gonna take the M rating off lmao )
characters: dean x oc, zico x oc, crush, rome x oc
genre: angst(ish?), university au
rated: m, violence, (mentions of) abuse (physical and physiological), sexual content (not in this ch)
ch1 ch2 ch3 ch4 ch5
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chapter 6: 
the automatic doors didn’t open fast enough. I felt like my only enemy right now was time. zico drove over the speed limit, luckily with no ticket, but it still felt like I spent hours in the car. everyone was a uneasy and the minute we got there, I bolted out of the car and sprinted to emergencies.
“I got a call,” I heaved. the woman behind the desk read my expression in a heartbeat and sorrow crossed her face.
“what’s your name sweetie?” she asked.
“park chaeyeon” I panted, desperation running through my veins. I needed to see it with my own eyes. I knew there was nothing I could do but I needed to see him. I needed to know that there was no bringing him back.
she began typing into the computer and I felt a hand on my shoulder. zico wrapped me in his arms but I didn’t look away from the woman before me.
“the morgue is downstairs. he was just taken down. would you like to see him before the autopsy is performed?” I stood still and I felt a wave of heat come over me. I couldn’t speak, if I tried, I knew it would turn into sobs and I didn’t want that.
“may we please?” zico replied. out of the corner of my eye I saw jisu, sochi, and jaeju covering their faces with their hands. the woman sitting before us stood up, making her way to us.
“right this way please. we need you to identify the bodies as well.”
zico’s hold around me only tightened as we followed the woman. I felt how tense he was. he was trying his best to comfort me but I knew he needed someone there for him too. he just lost his best friend.
I wrapped my arm around his waist and leaned my head against his side, following the woman down a quiet hall. she led us downstairs and we entered the morgue. there were two bodies laying on the metal tables. the black bags covered every inch of thembut the moment I laid my eyes them something felt wrong. I felt vile creeping up my throat but I fought so hard to keep it down. the woman walked toward one of the bags, unzipping it. part of me couldn’t lean over to look inside but the other part was so desperate.
“you don’t have to, I’ll do it” zico released me, taking a step forward. my eyes stung but stayed glued on him and the moment he took a look, his expression when cold. I could tell he tried to contain his emotions but quickly failed, tears streaming down his cheeks as his sobs became louder. I’d never seen him like this and it physically made my heart ache. I reached for his arm and he turned to look at me, his arms immediately tossing around me. I felt the sharpest pain in my chest and I wasn’t even aware of how quickly the tears had been running down my face.
“I’m so sorry for your loss but I need an identity confirmation. can you please give me conformation that this is him?” the woman almost whispered.
“no” zico replied curtly. I let go of him and knit my brows in confusion. he wiped my cheeks and gently shoved me towards the body.
“take a look chae” he said. I was so confused. I stood in front of the bag, not knowing if I could handle what I was about to see. one more step and I would see something that would scar me for the rest of my life. before I could even think about it, zico shoved me further and I looked inside. my hand immediately rose to my mouth and the vile from earlier made its way out. I ran out of the cold room and spilled my lunch into the nearest trashcan. my breathing became heavy and I gasped for air. I felt as if someone had been choking me for ages and I was finally allowed to breathe.
“it’s not him, it’s not him” I whispered to myself as I closed my eyes, regaining control of my breathing. I heard the door swing open behind me and yet again, zico was by my side. he grabbed his sleeve, wiping my mouth with it. jaeju followed after him, rubbing my back as I hung my head over the trash bin.
“no, neither one is. who’s mistake is this?” the woman who led us down here barged out of the room, talking into her radio. I glanced up and her expression shifted completely the moment she saw me.
“I’m so sorry, come with me. we’ll figure this out right now” I nodded, shoving both zico and my sister off me.
jaeju understood that I was feeling overwhelmed so she left me alone, she knew that when I needed space I needed it. on the other hand, zico was the type of person that stuck like gum no matter what. he reached for my arm and I yanked it away. I knew he would feel hurt by my actions but I really wasn’t thinking in this moment. all I wanted to know was if dean was okay. he’s all I wanted.
we were led back upstairs and past the emergency room doors. immediately screams and cries filled the air. most of them originating from small children. in the center of the area was a large working space filled with nurses and attendants. the lady led us to the desk, calling upon the nurse stationed behind it.
“who has it?” she asked. the nurse typed into her computer and read briefly before responding.
“wonbin filled it…but youngdeuk was the one who gave the information.”
“find both. and have you found the other two men?”
“yes they’re both in room..” she paused, looking at the screen before her. “107”
the woman we were with nodded. turning to look at us.
“I’m so incredibly sorry for the mistake. we will figure out who is responsible and seek immediate punishment but let me explain. I believe someone mixed up the contact information” she looked down at her tablet. “kwon dean and yu christian are the two you are looking for right?”
my heart almost beat out of my chest just by hearing his name. my head was all over the place but I somehow managed to nod.
she soon smiled and motioned us to follow her. instinctively, I wrapped my arms around one of zico’s like a frightened child. I was scared, what if he wasn’t okay. what if this was all not real and he was actually down there?
101, 102, 103, 104, 105, 106. we passed each room and I stared at every number. jaeju and jisu followed closely behind. I had been hearing jisu typing constantly since we arrived. she was most likely updating sochi, nayeon and crush.
“107” the woman pushed back the curtain, revealing two beds next to each other. one of the beds was empty and in the other I could make out someone under the blanket. the person soon sat up to look back at us. I exhaled a sob I didn’t know I was holding back.
“hey” a groggy christian greeted. his leg was in a cast and a large bruise covered his arm, followed by numerous cuts on his face. zico almost ran to him, embracing him in a gentle hug. I brought my hands to my face and began sobbing. jisu followed after zico, expressing her relief. jaeju’s hands gripped my shoulders, rubbing them to comfort.
“this is a lot to be taking in, especially for you, if you need air tell me, please” her voice sounded weaker than usual. she was right, we just experienced a fucking rollercoaster but it wasn’t over yet.
“dean is in surgery. he’s been in there for two hours so he should be out in another hour. he suffered from a collapsed lung but don’t worry, it sounds a million times worse than it actually is. your friend’s broken leg is actually worse than his lung. I’ll go check on him for you though” the woman had come up to me, patting my back in reassurance. she simpered before walking out of the room. in that moment I was so touched. I also wondered how this woman had been reading my mind since the moment I got here. I had barely spoken but she knew all my questions and had the answers ready for my ears.
I watched as everyone surrounded christian, jaeju joining zico and jisu. they questioned him and showed their relief. I truly was happy that he was alright even though he looked like shit but all I wanted was dean. I just needed to see him no matter how bad he looked. the woman was right, a collapsed lung sounds terrifying and I couldn’t bear to think about what was going on through his mind as everything was happening. I leaned against the door, turning my back to the group of people chatting away almost frantically.
I looked out, observing my surroundings. most of the doors were closed but cries still filled the air. the last time I had been in a hospital as a visitor was for my sister. the eerie feeling filled me up again, just the thought of remembering what happened. I had been out with my friends back home and my dad called me, desperately asking for me to go to the hospital. once I got there and was taken back, I found my sister tied up to the bed frame with a tube coming out of her mouth. she had attempted suicide. i’ve gone through some fucked up shit but that day was the worst day of my life. the thought of never seeing my sister again pierced daggers through my chest. it broke my father too. he had raised us all by himself. all we had ever known was each other.
alongside my dad was our older brother, jaebeom. he had also been like a parent to both jaeju and i. he was only older than jaeju by a year and older than me by two but it felt like he was twice our age. he always helped my father when we were younger and he basically raised us. I saw the devastation in their eyes. I felt useless, I couldn’t do anything. I just sat their with them, crying with my dad while jaebeom kept himself together, reassuring us that she would be fine and that we would do everything in our power to help her. I truly admired how strong and resilient my brother was, but I would rather die than tell him that. in that moment I felt that jaeju would never be genuinely happy again and that truly made my heart ache.
I sighed and looked back. jaeju had a smile on her face. from ear to ear, her lips curled as she was talking to christian. as cheesy as it sounds, there was a sparkle in her eyes. the difference a year makes.
my thoughts were interrupted by none other than zico. his arm hung over my shoulder and he pulled me into his side. he rubbed my arm, leaning his head down on top of mine.
“I’ll go ask” he uttered. before he could pull away, I wrapped my arm around his torso.
“the lady will be back, she’s checking on him right now. he’s in surgery for a collapsed lung but she said it wasn’t bad” I felt zico tense up for a moment. I tightened my hold and leaned into him.
“then, let’s trust her. she’s been nothing but helpful. but, how are you? honestly chae” it took a moment for me to respond.
“I don’t know. I’m a little numb, a little dumbfounded by what is happening right now. but most of all, I’m scared and that’s okay for now”
I slipped out of his grip when I saw the woman, who’s name tag I just noticed, walking towards us with a tall man following behind. she pressed her lips in an apologetic smile.
“alright, he just got out of surgery and will be in recovery for an hour or so. now, i do believe this hospital owes you an apology” she nudged the man with her elbow. he stumbled forward, looking at us.
“I’m nam youngdeuk, it’s nice to meet you. I am incredibly sorry for the misunderstanding. I can’t possibly imagine how you must’ve felt. I was part of the first responders team and also the one who made the call. I can’t express how sorry I am. the phone fell out of your friend’s pocket and landed near the patient you saw downstairs. it was my mistake for assuming that it was his. I apologize for my thoughtless actions”
“hey man, we all make mistakes. all that matters to us is that both our friends are fine, don’t sweat it” don’t sweat it? zico are you fucking insane? my world was torn apart in a matter of seconds because of this man. I was so angry I felt my blood boiling. I’m pretty sure I could sue for this kinda shit. zico knew me way too well. he immediately grabbed my arm and pushed me behind him. god I was so close to punching him.
“wow, ah, thank you for understanding. I am still very sorry and I hope both your friends recover quickly”
“yeah yeah go on before this one actually kills both of us” zico nodded his head in my direction and the man before us widened his eyes, bowing deeply before almost running off.
“fuck you zico”
”yeah whatever, I just saved a life. I’m a hero”
I rolled my eyes, giving his arm a good solid punch.
“chae, wake up”
“chaeyeon”
I felt someone shaking my shoulder. I squinted and looked up to see zico.
“I’ll be back, I’m taking jaeju and jisu home okay?” I nodded and yawned, pulling my phone out as I felt a kiss press against the top of my head. I smacked zico away and he headed to the door. jaeju and jisu hugged both christian and I goodbye before following after zico. I sat up in my chair and stretched my shoulders. I had fallen asleep while talking to christian.
“the couch over there turns into a bed. i’ll call the nurse for pillows and blankets”
“no it’s fine, I need to be up anyways” I rubbed my eyes, checking the time on my phone. two hours had gone by but the bed next to christian was still empty.
“the nurse came in about half an hour ago and said that he was still asleep. she said they’d bring him in when he woke up” I didn’t respond. I was beginning to get more and more desperate. I couldn’t believe that he was alright until I saw him with my own eyes.
“I need to use the restroom, I’ll be back” I stood up and walked out. I asked a nurse for directions and I made my way down the hall. once I entered the bathroom I looked in the mirror. my eyes were red and puffy. I looked like shit. I turned the faucet on, splashing my face with water in hopes that it would help but it didn’t. I exhaled a loud sigh, closing my eyes and hanging my head down. I took a moment to just breathe before looking back up into the mirror.
“I look fucking horrible” I examined my face again before giving up and heading back out. on my way back, I took my time, very well knowing that just waiting in there would drive me insane soon enough. I called zico, asking for the two blankets on dean’s bed and a pair of pj’s.
“I’ll be there in like 15 minutes. I’ll grab the stuff right now then head back. is he in the room yet?”
“no, I’ll text you when he is”
“alright babe, sleep if you need to okay?”
“yeah I will. drive safe on your way back please” suddenly I had a new fear.
“promise” he stated. I hung up, walking back to the now dark room.
“why are the lights off you’re more awake than I am” I said as I walked in, flicking the lights back on. I froze the moment I saw that the other bed now had a host. I didn’t even notice the tears streaming down my cheeks rapidly. I brought my hands up to my mouth, choking back my sobs as his eyes fluttered open. his lips could barely form a smile.
“come” dean’s hoarse voice filled the room and I couldn’t bring myself to move. I didn’t know if I was dreaming or if he was really there. I hated being so emotional and I felt as if I was overreacting. I just stood at the door, crying into my hands.
“chae, come” he repeated.
“please” the weakness in his voice pulled at my heartstrings and the moment he lifted his arm out, reaching for me, I felt as if something pushed me to him. I could tell he was in pain and was still very weak. christian shoved the chair from the edge of his bed to dean’s. i was scared of hugging him so I fought within myself to not do it but he tugged me into his chest. I immediately pulled away, sitting down in the chair instead.
“hey, I almost died and you won’t even hug me?” he groaned, bringing his hand up to wipe away the streaks of tears left on my cheeks. “can I at least have a kiss?” he asked.
I obliged, leaning over to press a gentle kiss to the side of his lips. he had a large gash covering the left side of both his upper and lower lip. his left eye was swollen and bruised and so was his cheekbone. he had multiple bruises splattered across his face and down his neck, most of them concentrated on his left side. his tattoo was almost hidden by the purple lesions.
my fingertips brushed over his cheek momentarily before he took a hold of my hand, bringing it to his lips. I finally felt the relief I needed.
“god, you’re so beautiful” he uttered. I still couldn’t find my words. the rush of emotions had taken over me completely. his gaze melted me. he hadn’t take his eyes off mine since the moment I walked in despite the fact that he could barely open them.
“I need to hear your voice right now, talk to me. please” he gave my hand a gentle squeeze and I saw the desperation in his voice. I scooted my chair closer and leaned my chin against the edge of his bed.
“I love you” I managed to wring out effortlessly. he couldn’t smile completely but it was still there, as soothing as ever.
“I love you more” he replied.
“nasty” christian murmured. dean scoffed a small laugh and I turned back to look at him.
“just kidding, please continue” christian said. I turned back to dean, yearning to wrap myself in his arms. by the way he held onto my arm i knew he wanted the same.
“christian told me what happened. you should know better. you think I’d let death take me just like that? you think I would let myself die knowing I’m leaving you behind like this? fuck no” I didn’t even pay attention to what he was saying, all I was focusing on was that he was here. he was talking, he was alright.
he blinked slowly and had half lidded eyes. I leaned up to press my lips against his forehead then his nose.
“I know you’re tired so sleep, I’m not going anywhere. I’m staying right here”
“do you think the nurse will get mad if you sleep with me?” he mumbled sleepily.
“probably not but I don’t want to. I want you to get better quickly”
“you’re my medicine though” he didn’t hesitate to answer. I pushed his hair out of his face and he closed his eyes. I continued playing with his hair hoping he’d fall asleep but the moment I got up to turn the light off he griped onto my hand tightly.
“I’m gonna turn the light off” he groaned an audible ‘no’.
“I’ll turn it off” zico walked in. the dork had the biggest smile on his face the moment he saw dean. dean couldn’t even open his eyes anymore. zico stood next to me, ruffling dean’s hair. I looked up at him and saw a tear slip out. he immediately wiped it off and I leaned my head against his upper leg. he turned back to look at christian then back at dean. I could see the gratitude in his eyes. he was just as relieved as I was, if not more.
“zico shut up” christian threw a pillow at him.
“what the hell I didn’t even talk” zico scoffed and christian laughed.
“your emotions are screaming though, we all know what’s going on in that little brain of yours. we’re both okay bro, that’s all that matters right?” zico looked like he could murder and smother christian all at once. I watched as the two began to horse play. I smacked zico’s leg, pulling him away from christian.
“both of you shut up, dean is sleeping and if you wake him up zico, there will be a third patient in here”  
the next day a loud roar awakened me. I soon realized that it was zico snoring. no matter how hard I hit him he wouldn’t shut up. dean and christian were both taken for x-rays around 5am. I laid down on the futon with zico and tried to push him off and make him shut up but nothing worked. soon, the doors swung open.
“that was so fas-” I was greeted by two unfamiliar faces. an older couple stood before me. they were both dressed casually but they screamed money.
“hello” I stood up and bowed, not really knowing who I was bowing at.
“who are you?” the woman questioned. “is that zico?”
I nodded, standing with my hands crossed in front of me. “I’m chaeyeon” I responded as I shook zico’s shoulder gently, praying he would wake up. the man walked over to the back of the room, taking a seat in the chair I had slept in next to dean’s bed last night. zico shuffled in the sheets, taking his sweet ass time to get up.
“ah, mrs. kwon” his eyes widened, quickly standing up and bowing in her direction before doing the same in the mans direction. the woman walked toward zico, embracing him in a hug.
“this must be your girlfriend!” her lips curled into a wide smile, switching from zico to me. I hesitantly hugged back, but by now I realized that these were dean’s parents.
“um, no, she’s…not my girlfriend” I heard the hesitation in his voice and emphasis on my. she heard it too.
“who is she then?” the man asked from across the room, his eyes glued onto his phone.
“I’m dean’s-“
“friend. she’s our friend. she came to help since hyoseob wasn’t able to last night”
“ah yes, I see. well you can go home now sweetie, thank you for staying but you don’t need to be here anymore”
excuse me? to both of you? what the fuck did zico just say? I swear I would slap him if dean’s parents weren’t here.
“no! she…can’t go home I brought her here so I’m her ride” zico blurted out. the woman pulled her phone out and began typing.
“our driver is in the parking lot he can take her” I stood silent, shifting my gaze to zico. he knew I was ready to throw hands.
“…um, that’s such a bother I’ll just take her. I need to go home and shower anyways!” zico was sweating now. what the fuck was happening.
“you sure sweetie?” she asked. zico nodded immediately, grabbing his keys off the table and then gripping his fingers around my wrist.
“it was nice to meet you chaeyeon!” she yelled as zico dragged me out. I couldn’t even reply before I was taken out of the room. the minute we stepped out, I yanked my hand from him.
“zico what the fuck just happened?!”
“I’ll tell you at home come on” he grabbed my wrist again and pulled me toward the doors. I fought him to release me, digging my nails into his arm.
“hey what the fuck is happening” the familiar voice forced me to turn around. dean was in a wheelchair, being pushed to his room and christian followed closely behind. zico released his grip on me, hurrying his way to dean and I followed after him.
“dude your parents are here” dean looked like he had seen a ghost, or in this case he was about to see two.
“what the fuck get her out of here now”
“excuse me?!” I exclaimed.
“chae, go. zico will explain”
“no what the hell, I was here all night by your side. why the fuck am I suddenly being treated like I’m some disease?!”
zico sighed, grabbing my hand for the hundredth time. I didn’t have time to fought back before he tugged me, picking me up and tossing me over his shoulders.
 DEAN’S POV
I rubbed my forehead as I watched chaeyeon punch the shit out of zico. the nurse continued to wheel me into the room and lo and behold, there they were. the moment my mother saw me she rushed to me, pressing kisses all over my face. I tried to escape but she hugged me tightly, so tightly that I vividly felt the pump inserted in my lung. my wincing whimpers forced her off, apologizing repeatedly. my father just patted my back.
“how are you doing dean?” he asked as the nurse helped me into bed. out of the corner of my eye I saw my dad helping christian and his nurse put him back in bed. christian greeted both my parents and I hummed in response.
“I’m fine, just tired. when did you both get here? weren’t you in London or something?”
“we just landed. your father cancelled the meetings we had scheduled for the next couple of days. once we got the call we got on the jet and came”
“you shouldn’t have, I’m fine”
“dean, how could your parents just leave you after you almost died in a car accident. what caused it anyways? were you drunk?”
“sunghoon!” my mom smacked my dad’s arm.
“no he wasn’t, however, the other driver was” the nurse walked in saving my life. she handed christian a small pill and a water bottle.
“I’d be more than happy to answer any questions you have about the incident and the medical status of both these young men” she walked to my parents, bowing.
“ah, yes. why does my son have those…things coming out of his chest?” my father questioned.
“there is a pump in between his lung cavity and his lung. his left lung collapsed as soon as we got him in last night and it was pretty severe so we had to perform surgery. ultimately it is up to the doctor as to how long the pump will stay in for but it shouldn’t be longer than 4 days” my parents nodded, examining the tube coming out of my chest.
“what about him?” my mom asked, pointing at christian. christian awkwardly smiled, turning to look at me.
“he’s mostly bruised up. the most severe damage he obtained is a fracture in his left fibula which should heal as any other broken bone should”
“what about the girl? she had her arm bandaged up. was she in the accident too?” my mother asked. the nurse’s face turned to confusion and it took a minute for me to clarify as to who she was talking about.
“no, she wasn’t. she had that already” I blurted out. the nurse simply smiled and walked out. my parents got comfortable, sitting close to my bedside. they made conversation with christian, asking him about school and his family. the whole time I was trying to come up with some bullshit lie about chaeyeon. there was no fucking way they could find out about us. first off, they didn’t even know I broke up with heoyang and second, they would rip chaeyeon apart if they found out that she didn’t come from a wealthy family. the only reason they were satisfied with heoyang was because her father owned a very successful business company in Germany.
“dean?” my mom echoed. I had zoned out. I turned to look at her, raising my browns in question.
“how’s heoyang?” fuck.
“uh, she’s fine? I don’t really know nor care” my mom’s eyes almost feel out of their sockets.
“I broke up with her a while ago..” I added.
“why would you do that?!” christian shifted uncomfortably and I started to feel bad that he had to witness this. I hesitated, asking myself if I should tell them the truth or not.
“hey..” a quiet voice interrupted us. jaeju entered the room, curling her lips into a shy smile. she bowed as she made her way towards me.
“I’m just here to say bye to you both. I’m going back to school but I will be back on Saturday to pick chaeyeon up”
my parents pretended to go along as jaeju came over to give me a goodbye hug. as she leaned down she whispered in my ear.
“I know what’s going on, zico told me. everything you do affects her and if you hurt her again you’ll be in this bed for more than just a couple days. I advise you tell your parents the truth, or don’t. it’s up to you dean”
I felt chills run down my spine. jaeju scared the fuck out of me. I fought with myself. I didn’t know what to do. if I told my parents, all they would do is talk down on her and if I didn’t, I’d have to continue hiding her.
jaeju then made her way christian, hugging him as well. she reassured him that she would be back. they talked low so I couldn’t really hear but I’m sure they were talking about keeping in touch or something nasty.
after jaeju had left, which took a while, the nurse came in to take christian for a walk. my dad stepped out as well to grab a cup of coffee and now it was just me and my mom.
“you never answered me. what are you hiding dean?” I didn’t respond, jaeju’s words replaying in my head.
“ok what’s wrong with you. you’re acting weird and there’s been people coming in and out that I don’t know. what’s going on?” she was beginning to get angry and I knew I had to start talking.
“I broke up with her because she cheated on me. more than once actually. the two girls you saw are sisters. the one you saw earlier is our neighbor and her sister, who just left, came to visit her for the weekend and her and christian have a thing or something I don’t really know mom” her sympathy immediately kicked in and “oh I’m so sorry” began pouring from her mouth. she reached over hugging and consoling me.
“she was such a lovely girl, I never imagined-”
“mom please. I really don’t want to talk about her. it’s over and I’m over her”
“oh don’t put up a front how can you get over your girl-”
“MOM,” I didn’t mean to yell, it just kind of came out. “please.” she took a moment, awkwardness filled the air before she spoke again.
“we have the next two days off but I’ll call the office right now and tell them we will be staying here longer”
“no, it’s fine. you heard the nurse. no more than 4 days and I feel fine. you shouldn’t have even come, I’m really fine” I wasn’t though, but all I needed to feel better was chae.
“dean, we are your parents! we wouldn’t leave you just like this. alone”
“if you weren’t here zico and hyoseob would be here. I’m never alone here. mom I’m not 12 anymore. I am an adult. you said you’d treat me like one if I showed you that I’m focusing on my grades and I have for the past two years. I know you were probably scared so I understand why you came. but look, I’m fine. I have finals this week then the semester is over which means that beom will be coming soon”
my mom sighed, her brows meeting in the center. “okay, we’ll leave tomorrow morning. your brother is only 18 though, I don’t trust him to look after you well”
“mom, all I’ll need is to clean the wound from this tube and the cuts I have. I can do it. plus I have tons of things to blackmail him with if I need something”
“excuse me? like what?” she crossed her arms.
“I wouldn’t be able to use it against him if I told you now would i?” she side eyed me, shaking her hair. her chair scooted closer to me and I soon felt her push my hair back. when I was smaller she would keep doing this until I fell asleep. I loved my mom, more than anything but I hated that she placed our family on a pedestal. yes we owned the biggest pharmaceutical company in the world but that doesn’t mean we are the greatest people alive. ever since we began dating girls, my mother told my brother and I that we could only bring home girls from good, wealthy backgrounds. and ever since then, that’s all I did. my only options were girls who went to our private high school and when I got to college, I only laid my eyes on the girls who lived on the expensive side of the city and attended the snob parties, which is where I met heoyang. she was wealthy but her parents gave her a limit which was obvious less than enough for her.
after that first semester I realized that I was putting up a front. I was the person my parents wanted, not the person I wanted. so I switched my major from pharmaceutical business to physics and I moved to the other side of the city. the part where everyone knew each other. the side where everyone was genuine to each other, a nice mix of cultures and classes. where no one judged, whether you come from the poorest family or the richest.
then I met her. I hadn’t even thought about her financial status until she brought it up months later. I knew my mom would never approve of a friend let alone a girlfriend who’s single father works two jobs to keep all three of his kids in college. our family had always been privileged and none of us knew what it was like to struggle financially. my mom had pounded the idea that those who don’t have enough money were the ones at fault for lacking an education. my brother and I on the other hand knew that she was wrong. we made friendships with people with lacking backgrounds and they were no less than us. through chaeyeon I learned to value those who work harder than everyone else. I learned that education is not a choice, it’s a privilege. we don’t pick who we want to be, we get handed a position and what we choose to do with that is ultimately up to us. we pick whether we want to see the good or bad. but my mother had yet to discover that.
my dad eventually came back and so did christian. the nurse then took me to walk around the hospital and when i returned the doctor examined me. he said I would have the pump taken out in 3 days and I could go home then. I had no idea how I would do my finals if I was in the hospital but I wasn’t really worried about that. my parents went to the hotel late that afternoon to rest and just after they left, crush and zico walked in. crush greeted christian, teasing him about his leg before it was my turn.
“where the hell have you been?!” I reached my hand out and he swung in for a hug.
“home…just not our home” he took a seat in the chair, facing both christian and I. “I got shit faced on Friday and I stayed with some random girl but she was so nice and took care of me. I ended up taking her out to lunch yesterday and then you know, I worked my magic”
“shut the fuck up” zico sat down next to him after punching his shoulder. crush rubbed it and wined like a child.
“she’s an orientation leader this winter too so we’ll be working together”
“is she hot?” christian asked.
“hell yeah, let’s have a kick back after finals and y’all can meet her” he added.
“I’m leaving Friday afternoon after my last final” christian responded.
“I’m starting my internship here so I’m down. what about you dean?” zico looked over at me.
“beom is coming up. we’ll both spend the winter break here since our parents have some new drug being released in Europe or some shit. we’re supposed to stay at the summer home outside the city though”
“so you’re gonna leave us to go stay at your fancy house” zico added.
“hell no, I’d be bored out of my mind”
“he can take my room, it’s only a month anyways” christian offered.
“good idea, it’s settled. it’ll be the three of us and mini dean this break”
“what about the girls?” crush asked.
“they’re all going home except for sochi. she got a research position for the physics department this summer and her training starts after finals in preparation for it. by the way dude, your girl is hella mad. I don’t know how you’re gonna make this one up to her” zico shook his head at me, pointing his finger.
“did you fucking tell her you idiot” I grabbed a pillow from behind me, repeatedly smashing it against his head. he eventually took it from my hands, hitting me back.
“I had to you asshole, did you want me to lie?” I looked down, running my fingers through my hair.
“no. is it that bad?” I asked.
“I think you really need to talk to her. oh, and she told me to tell you two things”
“what?” part of me hoped it was something cute but knowing her it was probably a fuck you or something.
“she spent all day making calls and sending emails to the school officials and the physics department. she set up your finals to be online so you don’t fail your stupid classes. someone from the school will be coming Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday to monitor you” in that moment I felt like an asshole. this girl was doing her all to make me feel comfortable and less worried and here I was, denying her for my parents. I couldn’t bring myself to have my mother claw away at her though.
“and the second thing?”
“fuck you dean” zico smiled proudly. there it was. I was about to hit zico again but there was a knock on the door. crush opened it and christian’s doctor walked in.
“good evening boys. christian, after your last round of x-rays I think you just need rest now. let’s get you out of here tonight” christian’s face lit up. we both hated being here. part of me was jealous that he got to go home. all I wanted was to get out of here and wrap chaeyeon in my arms.
“damn we have great timing” crush whispered to himself. the doctor handed christian papers and he signed them.
“I’ll get these processed and you may leave whenever you feel ready” christian thanked him as he walked out. he let out a loud sigh of relief.
“fucking finally. give me the clothes you brought yesterday zico” zico did as asked and he helped christian to the bathroom.
“so what’d you do now?” crush asked.
I was ashamed of myself but I knew I was doing it to protect her.
“I’m hiding her from my parents. the minute they got here I told her to leave” his eyes widened slightly.
“bro..”
“I know! I know! but, you know how my mom is. chaeyeon isn’t filthy rich. she doesn’t come from a well known family. my mom would rip her apart if she found out. I’m not doing it because I’m ashamed of her, I’m not, I’m so fucking proud of who she is and I don’t want my mother to tear her apart after she’s gone through so much fucked up shit that’s made her who she is today. she’s perfect to me and there’s no way I’m going to let my mom hurt her like that”
“listen, I do know how your mom is but I think you need to give her a little more faith. why don’t you just tell your mom about her? they don’t have to meet right now. in fact you’ve only been really dating for like a day so chill. you think you’re protecting her but I think you’re hurting her more than anything. how much have y’all gone through just to be together? are you really going to throw that out the window because your mom MIGHT say no?”
fuck he was getting philosophical again and once he started no one could stop him.
“have you even talked to chae? you need to talk. y’all both fuck each other over because of lack of communication, that’s what got y’all in the fucked up spot you were just in this weekend. talk to her and tell her why you did what you did and then tell her what you’re going to do to fix it. don’t just leave her hanging like this”
why was he always right. I knew he was right but I couldn’t bring myself to actually act on it. I could explain why I pushed her away but I didn’t know how I would fix it. if I told my mom, chaeyeon would get hurt, and if I didn’t, she would be hurt as well. it was a battle of two evils.
I nodded, shoving crush away in agreement.
“I will”
christian was discharged a couple hours later and both zico and crush took him home. it was just me now, me and my phone. my thumbs fumbled as I debated whether I should call or text. would texting make me an asshole? or more of an asshole. yeah it probably would. call it is.
I stared at her contact, hesitating.
“fuck it” I mumbled, pressing the call button. it seemed like it was ringing forever but soon enough I was greeted by her voicemail. I tried again only to be sent to voicemail almost immediately. I kept trying but still, nothing.
Dean: please answer
Dean: I don’t want to do this over text please
Dean: chaeyeon
Dean: please answer me
I called once more, this time leaving a voicemail.
“please call back, I’m sorry for everything. I take you for granted but let me at least explain. please” I felt so hopeless. “hope you do well on your finals tomorrow. I love you chaeyeon” I pressed the red circle on the screen.
“I fucking hate myself, I’m such a dick” I slammed my phone against the bed as I grew angrier at myself.
“don’t be so hard on yourself, we all knew it wouldn’t last babe” I didn’t have to look to recognize the owner of that voice.
“what the fuck are you doing here?”
“i’m here to keep you company tonight, your parents request” she took a seat in the chair next to my bed and set her bag down.
“I’ll take care of you, don’t worry” as she raised her hand to my face, I stopped her.
“leave” I uttered through gritted teeth.
“I will, when you leave. let’s just have fun tonight and catch up, it’s been a while babe” as she spoke i felt disgusted. the woman I once loved, the only person I had eyes for was suddenly the most repulsive thing to me. heoyang’s face was so innocent but I couldn’t help but feel nauseated.
“just you and me, like old times dean”
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jskim2112 · 6 years ago
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Dear Appa,
It feels weird to address you. Every year, I write a letter to you, and I don’t remember it feeling as awkward as it does now. Just wanted to say hi and spend some time with you. It’s been awhile, hasn’t it...
The 8th year anniversary was a big one for us. I still remember it clearly. It was the first time I let myself feel and start to grieve your passing. It was the first time I felt space to slow down life. Now, 11/13 doesn’t seem so big and bad, so ridden with guilt, or hyped up... but I would be lying if I said it wasn’t just as special. It is still very special. It is the day you left this earth. 
This past year was an incredibly growing and healing time for me. It started off with me being hospitalized and very ill, separating from a serious relationship, and turning all my pains inside out. I learned more than I cared to learn about myself and others. I am definitely not the same person I was three years ago. But that’s not what I want to write to you about today. 
Today, I had a patient with a duodenal adenocarcinoma come in for a pancreaticoduodenectomy. That’s a lot of fancy words for... this patient had a similar (but also very different) cancer as yours, and came in for an operation similar (but also very different) from yours. This family spoke English, but they were immigrants. Immigrants from Jamaica. And my heart immediately broke for them. 
I don’t know if they quite understood what a big operation this was. But I wanted to make sure they knew. I had seen this dynamic before. Two times my patients passed away in the ICU and it was this dynamic. The family was not aware of how sick the patient was or how big the operation was. It haunts me to this day that I did not urge them to share more precious words together. 
Anyway, the patient’s daughter was on her way, but you know how it is with production pressure and first case start time. I’m a darn good employee. I am never late, always prepared, and don’t cut corners. But today, I made darn sure that this patient’s daughter had a chance to talk to her mother before she went in for her operation. Dad, you were never the same after your operation and I wished someone had taken the time to explain things to me then. I was only 15 then, but I wasn’t stupid. 
I asked my attending if I could do a TAP block. It would be better for her pain control. It’s a big incision, and she’s already so frail. Opioids would zonk her out, derecruit her lungs, and slow her bowels. She would be less apt to get out of bed whether she was in pain or hopped up on meds. A TAP block would be perfect for her. The attending was in a super sassy mood this morning. But after a healthy 10-minute discussion, he relented. I got lucky. Despite his sass, he is rather reasonable.
The attending had two other rooms, so as soon as we induced, he asked me to take care of the rest and call if I had issues. Again, I was relieved to have such a good working relationship with the team here. He trusted me to do my thing, and I felt empowered to provide excellent care for this patient.
I take great care to be consistently attentive to all my patients. Mostly because I despise when people treat the “less desirable” patients with less dignity. But I have to admit: today, this patient, I went above and beyond. I mean, I even did range of motion and scalp massages because it was a long case. Maybe it is because I have seen too much, or maybe it is because your death anniversary is tomorrow. I don’t know why, but I just wanted to do everything right by that patient. 
I must say, it felt darn good when she woke up at the end very comfortably and without pain. I wanted so badly to meet her family, but I held back. I dropped her off in the ICU and lingered for a bit to make sure she was in good hands. 
Appa, I can’t believe the day I had today. It was such a simple, routine, and good day. And I saw glimpses of you throughout the entire day. I used to get so jealous and sad at quality care... because it pains me so much that you did not get that when you were sick. I didn’t know better. I’m so sorry. I wish I knew then what I know now. I wish things could have been different. 
But I can’t change the past. I am fully aware. And what I can change is how I treat patients and families now. And it brings me such joy. Such deep, solemn joy. I imagine this is what Peter thinks too. I can’t believe he wants to go into oncology. God bless his heart. That’s the belly of the beast. Talk about taking a painful past and bringing victory home. Appa, you would be so so proud of him. I wish he knows that. 
Anyway, just thought you’d like to know that you are still affecting people on earth on the daily. May you never know the depths of your reach. I love you dearly. Miss you so. 
See you soon,
jisu<3
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