#jiriaya

[lislemons]

naruto characters and posts that reminded me of them part 10 (wow double digits!)

[mugiwara-lucy]

I cannot with these two 🤣

[narutosway]

Naruto got his surprised/shock from Minato and his pouty(ness) from Kushina 🧡

[crows-and-cookies]

Fuck marry kill the sannins go

[narutopicsworld]

[historias-multorum]

Tsunade let out a heavy sigh. "I kept telling Jiraiya to keep it in his pants, and now look at what's happened!"

[reddawnmultimuse]

"Yes, I do." Deidara said with the smuggest of smug-ass smirk as he threaded his fingers through his blonde hair and flipped it. Was he rubbing it in Jiraiya's face? Yes, yes he was. "Yes are and you best enjoy it, hn. It may be your last."

He didn't know that. In fact, he knew nothing of what was going on. All he knew was Itachi and Kisame went after the Kyuubi, failed, and yet caught a Sannin? Sure, ok. And then what? Interrogation, he reckoned. Again, he didn't know. All he knew that in the meantime, he was the lucky one playing babysitter to said man.

"Son of a bitch--Danna! Sasori-no-Danna! Where are you, hn? You bastard!" Deidara hollered through the doorway, his voice bouncing sharply off the rock walls of the cold, dungeon-like room. There was no response.

He close to getting up and finding the puppeteer, Jiraiya be damned when finally there were footsteps walking his way. However, they were too light to be Sasori's or any male member. That was because it was Konan as she entered the bastille with a single bowl of unknown soup. She glanced at Jiraiya with an expression invisible to Deidara before passing the bowl through a small opening of the bars.

"This is all you'll be getting for now. Savour it while you can," She coldly said to the older man before turning on her heel to leave, briskly so.

"Wait, where's my dinner, hn?" Deidara whined.

Konan looked at him and her black lips puckered into a deep frowned. "You're an adult, Deidara. You can make your own dinner."

"Yes, but--" The terrorist was in the middle of saying but Konan was gone, the clicking of her heels a distant echo.

Alone with Jiraiya again, Deidara glared at the white-haired man with a childish pout. Why did the prisoner get food but not him!? He hadn't eaten since this morning and was starving!

“Grow back! Easy for you to say. You still have your pretty long hair.” Jiraiya huffs.

His head already feels cold. It feels strangely light. His hair is thick and heavy. Given it’s density he probably lost a few pounds from it. Losing a finger or ear would have been better than his hair!

“Puppets? My hair is going on a puppet… that’d be creepy.” It is infused with his chakra. It probably does have a practical use to a puppet master but… ew. He rubs his short hair again and sighs.

He tucks his legs up to cross them and stares at his guard. Well, what’s done is done. Maybe if he regained enough chakra he could force some growth. Being buzzed like this he doesn’t really feel like himself…. That is kinda the goal when taking a prisoner. They lose their identity when at the mercy of their captors. It’ll take a lot for them to erase what he is.

“Food? You plan on… feeding me?” He glances at the other amenity given to him. “I guess if I got a shitter that’s a redundant question. So your friends plan on keeping me alive for awhile. My head would be tossed to the nearest Leaf outpost by now if they didn’t… I’d still have my hair at least.”

[dark-elf-writes]

Venomous Naruto, Jiriya.

Is he still technically Naruto’s godfather? If so I imagine it would only be because politics kept Minato and Kushina from directly naming Orochimaru and they figured Jiriya would give Naruto to him like he did with Minato.

No matter what, though, all the kids have a kill on sight mentality when it comes to Jiriya. (Orochimaru doesn't discourage this, especially after Jiriya made a "comment" on Anko's appearance. )

Oh even before Naruto was in the picture or Jiraiya came back to the village the kids had a kill on might order for him.

All of them have seen how the weight of his missing team has worn on Oro. Have seen how loss after loss has affected him and still neither one of them have come home. Have heard time and time again how Minato was Jiraiya’s student when he left half of the actual teaching in Oro’s hands and didn’t even bother sticking around after the funeral when their mother was shattering after the loss of another person he cared about so much. Adding Naruto into that equation? Hearing time and time again how badly their baby brother suffered because Oro couldn’t be named his true guardian in the first place? They want to bounce him off the concrete. On top of all of that him making advances on their sister? This man is not getting out without moderate to severe poisoning and more than a few stab wounds at least.

Jiraiya has an unpleasant awakening waiting for him back in the village as Oro has no intention of stopping his brood from exacting revenge and is in fact going to join him when he hears about Jiriaya sexualizing Naruto’s female form.

[zxxalta]

Honestly if I was Kakashi I would have been SICK over Jiriaya’s death. Imagine your favorite book author fucking dies in the middle of their series 😭 and then you’re forced to read the porn parts out loud to help solve the code they left behind LMAOOOO

[innocuousibis]

wow what a piece of shit i don't think this guy can get any worse-

he got worse

I fucking hate Jiriaya why does anyone like this character

[rayshippouuchiha]

Okay so in a couple fics I’ve read there has been mentions of Danzo telling Kushina and Minato’s friends that Naruto died and I had a thought

He probably couldn’t get away with telling those in village that Naruto died but he could tell those out of village (that coincidentally are the ones who could possibly convince Hirizen that keeping Naruto away from his family is a Bad Idea™️) that he died

So imagine with me

Jiriaya is in the village for the first time since his precious student and his family’s death

He’s going to talk to Hirizen for some reason or another only to get barreled into by a tiny, clearly underweight, chibi Minato

And now Jiriaya is smart, he’s a spy master and Konoha’s only fuuinjutsu specialist after all, but we all know that man is an idiot when it comes to emotions

So when confronted with the fact that his godson is in fact Not Dead, he does the only reasonable thing

He takes the kid and bolts

Because Jiriaya is smart, smart enough to see that something is obviously Very Wrong™️ and Hirizen isn’t Doing Anything

He wonders if Tsunade is up for doing a check up and possibly helping him co parent the kid his totally Didn’t Kidnap™️ he’s the godfather after all

(I like to shit on Jiriaya as much as the next person but sometime I like aus where he’s a good godfather for once and the idea of Tsunade and Jiriaya scrambling to try and raise a kid they thought was dead is hilarious to me)

okay yeah this could be wildly chaotic and fun

Jiraiya panics, grabs Naruto and bolts and the first place he runs is Tsunade of course. Somewhere along the way those two end up running into Orochimaru who decides to say fuck it and join them for whatever reason.

The most chaotic family ever attempting to raise Naruto with 3 parents who are all their own version of crazy

[lislemons]

naruto characters and posts that reminded me of them part 9

[mugiwara-lucy]

Can you explain why you personally hate Mineta, hate is a strong word

Because he's a creepy pervert?

[thottyimagines]

I need what the sasuke/tsunade training dynamics would be.

Sassy brat + alcoholic takes no shit = funniest thing ever actually

Sasuke/Tsunade Sageswap

Sasuke tries his surly shit and gets decked on the first day.

He also gets decked on the second, third, fourth, tenth, thirtieth, and sixtieth day.

Sasuke is...a slow learner when it comes to not attempting to pull his Uchiha privilege.

Tsunade contemplates invoking the old Senju/Uchiha wartime hatred of it all. Then she remembers she can just beat this brat into submission and he doesn't even hate her, he's just traumatized and doesn't know what to do about the growing familial feelings he's developing for her.

In turn, she develops familial feelings for him and grows 10x more aggressive, for now he must survive.

Sasuke is forced to learn to heal without his Sharingan first. He needs to learn chakra control for a what-if worst case scenario.

Then he needs to learn it all over again with his Sharingan, because now he can see the chakra flow and it's so much easier it's insane.

He's furious with Tsunade for depriving him of his natural advantage. He does not realize the gift she gave him with learning chakra control all by himself until he's well into adulthood.

Sasuke makes himself a Yin seal by 15.

Tsunade is appalled.

Sasuke becomes a slug sage and weaponizes his awesome healing power into pummeling Itachi and forcing his cells to heal and reproduce to cancerous levels. He commits fratricide with the tools Tsunade gifted him.

Tsunade glows with the knowledge that she is the only one who has an apprentice truly surpassing the master so quickly.

Given this particular sage swap, I guess Orochimaru is miserably attempting to override the nine tails' willpower and possess Naruto's body, and Jiriaya is no longer allowed to write porn or be a massive pervert and is instead teaching Sakura everything he knows about sealing.

[cloudabserk]

1 12 and 13 for the controversial asks >:)

YAY hi casgirl!!!

1. most overrated character

if i get to pick a character i hate it’s jiriaya FUCK him he sucked the whole time and he gets one cool fight and now people love him. he was useless and mean to sasuke AND naruto AND he was creepy to all women and also to naruto.

if it has to be a character i like… then i guess itachi. i love itachi so much, and he was probably trying to do what he thought was right, but people act like he is The Most Noble and Brave when he actually made 1 million terrible decisions and mind tortured sasuke at several points for seemingly no reason.

12. who shouldve died during war arc

ok i hate anyone dying so idk who to put but i wish jiraiya had come back to life so he could die again more painfully. also i wish orochimaru had died again. but those are just spite deaths idk who should die for plot purposes. i thought tsunade was gonna die when i first watched so maybe her?

13. was kakashi trying his best/a good sensei

i think… kakashi tried his best but his best was frankly terrible. also for both kakashi and itachi i think the whole concept of “hardened trained assassin at age 10” or whatever is quite horrifying and must do infinite damage to one’s psyche so i’m honestly shocked he was able to connect with team 7 at all. not to mention everyone he loved dying violently in front of him

kakashi was not a very good teacher but he uh… cared about them ? tried to help them? didn’t manipulate them into horrible acts? the bar is honestly on the floor for competent adults.

[marvelmymarvel]

Guardian (Part 12)

Jiraiya x Sarutobi!Reader

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12

Synopsis: Your brother gave you an assignment, "Go ask Sakumo Hatake if he needs help with his newborn." It was a simple task, but it snowballed into so much more.

TW: Panic attacks, war

Tags: @twilightlover2007

Naruto Masterlist: Here

Spoilers below regarding Obito Uchiha. Proceed with caution.

-- 1 Year Later --

A crack of thunder shook the house, and you jolted awake, breath heavy as you tried to calm yourself from the nightmare you were in. It was only once your adrenaline came down that you realized your nightmare wasn't just a dream and it was very much real.

You glanced at Jiraiya sleeping peacefully beside you, not sure how he could sleep at a time like this. Around a year ago, shortly after Kakashi joined his new team, the nations waged war on one another. Throwing Kakashi head first into a war you feared he would end up in. Tears welled up in your eyes as panic settled in your bones. Minato promised to keep him safe, but it wasn't enough.

You rose from the bed, stumbling towards the ensuite as the panic tightened its bony grip around your throat. The air coming into your chest had a wheeze to it, and you prayed that your panic attack wouldn't wake Jiraiya. You held your breath and looked back towards the bed where Jiraiya still laid. Part of you wanted him to wake up, to comfort you and remind you that Kakashi was strong.

Your shaking fingers flipped on the light switch as you slinked into the bathroom, slowly and carefully closing the door to make no sound. Blood rushed through your ears as your world tilted; it was then that you realized you were still holding your breath, only making the panic worse.

Everything was muffled as you bolted towards the toilet, mouth opening as you dry heaved into the bowl. Nothing came up. Nothing could. You hadn't eaten anything since Kakashi took off for his mission some days ago. Your tears blurred your vision, and you gripped your throat, scratching at it as if trying to free yourself from the tight grip of dread.

He's not coming back. You'll have to bury another person you love. You'll be alone. You did this to him. This is your fault.

Your thoughts circled round and round as your dry heaving grew more forceful. You tried to take in oxygen between the forceful retches, but you knew from the light-headed feeling taking over that you weren't doing a good job.

"Hey. What's going on?"

You inhaled sharply as your head whipped to the door, chest rising and falling quickly as you began to violently hyperventilate, your brain trying its best to get the needed oxygen. Jiraiya's face was full of concern as he moved towards you, "It's okay. Come here, Y/n…" he whispered before dropping down beside you

Your arms wrapped around his neck, and you let him pull you into his warm and steady embrace. It was as if his presence alone pried the fingers of doom from your throat because your breathing once more began to grow stable and less frantic.

Jiriaya's hand dragged up and down your spine, eyebrows crinkling as he looked at how you curled into him. He didn't need to ask what was wrong; he knew by the way you shook that you had dreamt of Kakashi again. "He's going to be okay, sweetheart. Minato won't let anything happen to him-"

"You don't know that for sure. I could get him back in one piece, but he may not have a pulse. I don't… I don't know what I'll do if that happens" Your words sounded strong at first but slowly morphed into a panicky exclamation. Your shoulders shook, and Jiraiya shushed you before pulling you deeper into his chest. "Why don't we take a bath? Will that help you calm down?"

Your breathing once more leveled out, and you weakly nodded at his proposition, knowing that it would bring you out of the darkness of your mind.

Jiraiya nodded before pressing a kiss to your head and sitting you on the ground. "Let me run us a bath then."

You raced towards the gates, eyes wide as you took in the shinobi coming in. You caught sight of Minato right away and let out a breath of relief at the sight of Kakashi, but the smile fell as you noticed the absence of the Uchiha child. Not only that but Kakashi's left eye had been wrapped. Despite knowing he would be upset with you, you pushed through the crowd to get to him. His eye widened at your frantic appearance, and he braced for the tight hug he would receive.

Kakashi gulped as you hauled him into your arms, a cry falling from your lips as you praised the gods above for bringing him back. The men and women continued to walk past as you knelt before him, hand wandering to his face as you looked at Minato for answers as to why he was wounded, but he remained silent. Looking back at Kakashi, you found his eye trained on the ground. It was only then that you processed what had happened to the Uchiha child. "Oh. Kakashi… I'm so sorry-"

He pushed past you, face blazing with fury as he stormed inside the village. You looked back at Minato, who shifted his weight from side to side. The worried look he was giving you made you stand swiftly to rush after the young child. You didn't know yet what went down on this mission. But you knew one thing and one thing only.

Something in Kakashi changed.

Kakashi sat quietly in his room when you entered, your breathing was labored from running after him, and you tried to catch your breath, but you relaxed seeing him sitting there alone. You sighed at him before closing the door, shutting the two of you away from the world outside. "Do you want to talk about what happened?"

Kakashi's brown eye was steely, and screamed that he didn't want to remember anything that had happened. "Okay. We don't have to talk about what happened to your comrade… But we need to discuss your bandaged eye." You stated firmly as you walked towards him. He huffed in exasperation but let you grab at the cloth anyway. Your shaky hands slowly unwrapped it before you were greeted with the nasty scar that cut through his left eye. "Oh. Does it hurt?" You cooed as you let your thumb softly run over the ridge. He shook his head but hissed as you hit a sensitive part. "Sorry, buddy. Can you still see?"

His breath hitched, and his right eye slammed shut, memories of being temporarily blinded racing through his mind. Your eyebrows furrowed as you cupped his chin and cocked his head up, "Open your eyes, buddy."

"I don't want you to see it, mom."

Tears cascaded down his cheeks as he relived the entire scene of Obito giving him his eye. He shouldn't have sacrificed himself. He shouldn't have given up his life or eye so willingly. It wasn't fair.

And now he had a reminder of the selfless act his comrade did so that he could come home.

"Kakashi. Honey, let me see it-"

You inhaled sharply as the red eye shone in the dimly lit room. "He sacrificed himself for me, Mom." Kakashi wailed out, hands shaking as he searched your face for any sign of hatred.

But you simply cocked your head down at him, wiping away the tears as you sat beside him. He didn't have to tell you everything that happened. The statement, alone, with the sharingan told you everything you needed to know. "Why would he do that?!" Kakashi roared out, eyes blazing with anger as he searched your face for an answer to something he couldn't quite grasp.

Your eyes flicked to the floor, chest bubbling with a desire to spew out an 'I told you so' to him. But you never wanted to be right in the first place. As a matter of fact, you hoped he would prove you wrong. "Because he cared for his comrades enough to risk everything for them. Even if it meant death, that's a true shinobi. You should be proud of him for being so selfless-"

Kakashi inhaled sharply as it all started to click—lip trembling as more tears fell down his cheeks, wetting both your hands and his mask. You sighed at him before pulling him into a hug, hands shaking as you ran a hand through his hair. It was only a couple of months ago that you asked Kakashi to bring his comrades over for dinner. It became an everyday occurrence to see the three together, and despite the amount of arguing, you could tell that Kakashi had grown fond of the Uchiha. You had to admit that you also enjoyed when the Uchiha was around. At one point, you contemplated adopting him as well. Now that he is gone, you're unable to thank him for being a real friend to Kakashi. Not only that, but for being so unapologetically selfless for his comrades. Without Obito, you wouldn't have Kakashi safe and sound in your embrace. It was bittersweet, and you didn't know how else to help Kakashi through the pain he was experiencing.

But you figured holding him close was a good start.