#jesper fahey has ADHD

[catdoingblep]

ok, so hear me out: Jesper, slowly unmasking himself around Wylan

Because he realises that he can fidget, play with coins, twist revolvers when he is nervous or bored, and walk around the room and make funny remarks while he is reading documents to Wylan, and Wylan will not be annoyed or angry as a lot of people around Jesper were, and if Jesper will really disturb him he will just say, and say it not like he is snapping

And one time when he actually asked Wylan if it was okay that he started walking around the room while reading documents, Wylan just rolled his eyes and said something like "Jes, it is fine, I know you, I wasn't expecting you to sit still for five hours, let's just finish with these agreements with Dryden and make a break, I think you also already hungry" because Wylan doesn't want some calm quiet person to read him documents in monotonic voice while sitting perfectly still, he just wants Jesper and wants him for who he is

[dasiesanddarkness]

Who wants a snippet from the explicit Wesper fic I'm currently writing?

Wylan leans down and places open mouthed kisses in a line from Jesper’s belly button to the space between his collar bones. Jesper twitches with each press of Wylan’s mouth on his skin, but he does his best to stay still. It’s hard, but he tries, because he knows it makes Wylan happy- knows it makes him proud, and Jesper wants so badly for Wylan to be proud of him.

"Tell me what’s wrong.”

The words are surprising, not at all where Jesper thought this would go, but he supposes it makes sense. Wylan has never let him ignore his feelings like he wants to.

“I don’t know,” Jesper breathes. Wylan presses a kiss to his shoulder.

“Yes you do,” he says softly. “And I want you to tell me so I know exactly what I need to do for you.”

Jesper sighs, arches his back. He does know, or he would if he thought about it like Wylan wants him to, but he’s never been good at thinking. His mind moves too fast for him to fully process most of what goes through it, and on days like this it moves even faster. It’s easier to just pretend the thoughts aren’t real and distract himself, but Wylan won’t let him. So he thinks, back to ten minutes ago when he had zoned out and his mind had wandered into dangerous territory.

“I don’t-” he cuts himself off when Wylan licks over his nipple. It makes it both harder and easier to talk through this, but he doesn’t want Wylan to stop.

“I don’t feel right,” he continues. “I feel disconnected from everything, like it’s happening and I’m just watching it.”

“But that’s not it, is it?” Wylan presses, and part of Jesper wishes he would just leave it alone.

“No,” he says. Wylan makes a noise, encouraging him to keep talking, and Jesper sighs. Squeezes his eyes shut. Sighs again, because he doesn’t want to talk about this, but he will. For Wylan.

“I feel like you deserve better than me.” The admission comes out in a whisper, and he almost hopes Wylan doesn’t hear it.

He does. Of course he does. Wylan pays attention to Jesper in a way very few have before, so of course he hears when Jesper admits that he doesn’t feel like he’s good enough.

Wylan’s hands leave his wrists and his mouth leaves his neck, and then he’s cupping Jesper’s face in his hands and kissing him insistently. Jesper threads his fingers through Wylan’s hair, lets the soft feeling of it ground him.

“Jesper,” Wylan whispers against his lips, and then he kisses him again.

Wylan isn’t good with words. He’s told Jesper that, made sure early on in their relationship that he knew that sometimes it was impossible for him to express himself properly, but that it didn’t mean he didn’t love him. But in moments like these, when Jesper is hurting and Wylan needs to reassure him and tell him that everything is okay, Wylan wishes he was good with words. Wishes he knew exactly what to say to make the anxiety sharp in Jesper’s head melt like icicles in the presence of the sun, how to make it go from jagged and dangerous to harmless and manageable.

“Jesper,” he says again. He tries to convey everything he thinks, everything he knows in that one word, but he knows it won’t work, so he kisses him instead. He kisses him, and then he tries again. “Jesper, I don’t deserve better that you.”

Jesper tries to open his mouth, tries to disagree or protest but Wylan isn’t having it, so he kisses him for what must be the hundredth time. “I don’t deserve better than you because there is no one better than you.”

There. It’s not poetry, and it’s not particularly eloquent or clever, but it’s true. It’s what Wylan knows. It’s a fact, and Wylan has always dealt in facts.

[undercover-grisha]

Jesper ADHD Headcanon

that man gets so excited by trains, he’s bouncing through the station. He’s hooting and hollering and jumping with his hands on Inej’s shoulders like a kid. He desperately wants to hop on one and take it somewhere.

But actually being on a train? Uh-uh, no way.

the ADHD overwhelm is INSANE.

It’s jarring stops, with no similarly allotted length of time in between. It could be five minutes between stations, it could be thirty.

He can’t rest his head without it bouncing all around, he can’t get comfortable because his stupid long legs and long arms are too spindly to rest his head on but he’s a human person so he can’t very well fold them into spaghetti until it’s over. He can’t get up, he can’t move, it feels weird to walk when he does get up, and Kaz didn’t want to pay for first class so there’s no food or drinks or anything.

then he gets off the train, takes a nap, waits a day, and immediately gets excited about going on a train to go back.

[sarcasticsouthernbookworm]

Jesper suppressing his Grisha powers read as ADHD masking

[queen-aelin-of-terrasen]

Kaz: there is a traitor in our midst

Jesper: WHO WHO WHO

Nina: apparently there’s an owl in our midst too

Jesper: WHERE WHERE WHERE

[do-you-know-this-adhd-character]

Do you know this (canon) ADHD character?

Proof: Stated by the author in interviews.

[aphroditestummyrolls]

I am… very protective of Jesper Fahey’s intelligence…

[9firefly9]

I’m trying!

Kaz is trying to explain what the plan is for their new heist to Jesper. Jesper has ADHD. He’s trying to listen, really he is, but he can’t focus. Kaz is getting frustrated with Jesper, but realizes that he’s struggling and thinks of an idea to help him focus and understand the plan better. To help him visualize it.

Kaz called us together to talk about a heist he plans to make us do later this afternoon. I was a little annoyed when I’d heard this because I had had other plans. Plans which involved me, Wylan and a comfy bed. Instead I’m standing here trying my hardest to listen to Kaz’s plan and failing miserably.

I could see Kaz’s mouth moving, I could hear him but everything sounded muffled and muddled together. I was trying so hard to listen, but my mind just kept wandering! No matter how hard I try I can’t keep my attention on Kaz.

Wylan keeps drumming his fingers against a nearby table. The sound keeps catching my attention, I recognize the tune but I can’t place it. I think it was something I heard a long time ago, but I can’t remember when. I wonder if-

“Jesper.”

I snapped my head up from where it had been turned, looking at Wylan’s hands. My eyes looking wildly at Kaz from having been startled by his voice.

“Pay attention. This is important.” He said, annoyance clear in his voice. I forced myself not to scoff. If only I could pay attention. If I could figure out how to get myself to do that I’d do that in a heartbeat! I internally laugh at myself, a bitter feeling filling up inside my stomach.

I shake my head, trying to clear all the thoughts from it. I tried to bring my attention back to what was being said. Suddenly Nina started talking. “What if… climbing… die?” I couldn’t make out everyone she said but the sudden talk of death snapped my attention back like a stretched out band suddenly being let go of and snapping together. ‘Die’. That didn’t sound good. I really don’t want to die.

“Nobody is going to die. Don’t be dramatic. Besides if you do, that’s not my problem.” Kaz answered rolling his eyes.

Oh. I mentally shrug my shoulders, trusting Kaz not to let us die. If Kaz says we’re not going to die, then we’re not going to die. As the conversation moves away from death my attention starts drifting back to a noise that has been rattling in my brain since it started.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

Tap-tap. Tap. Tap-tap.

I look back over at Wylan and see that he’s still drumming the tune on the table. OH! I figured out what the song was! I used to hear that tune coming from a church near where I used to live as a child. How I understood that’s what Wylan was drumming I have no idea. I start listening harder. Maybe I just wanted it to be something familiar. I suppose It’s highly possible that he’s not actually playing that tune and I just wanted to hear it. Wha-

“Jesper!” Kaz’s voice rang through out the room. I quickly look over at Kaz, my eyes wide. What had I been doing wrong? All I was doing was thinki- oh. I had been thinking instead of listening.

“Jesper, is it really too much for me to ask you to listen to the plan? I know you think you have better things you could be doing right now, but believe it or not you’re going to regret it later when you realize what I’m saying right now is important. So pay attention!”

I feel my eyes begin to water with frustration. I wish I COULD pay attention! That’s all I want! I realize I’m looking down at my feet. When did I do that? I look back up at Kaz and find that when our eyes meet I can’t bring myself to hold his gaze.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

I look back over at Wylan’s fingers and back over at Kaz. Saints! I wish I could just listen! I wish I was more like other people!

Suddenly Kaz’s eyes widen. Not by much but if you knew Kaz as well as I do, you would have seen it too. He then walked over to a desk in the room that was pushed up against a wall and pulled open one of its drawers. He reached in and grabbed a paper from inside it. Then walked over to the table that Wylan had been tapping his fingers on. He gestured for everyone to gather around the table. When everyone had moved themselves towards the table Kaz signalled for me to come closer to him. Unsure of what was happening I took a weary step forward, then another, then another, until I was finally standing beside him.

I saw Kaz raise an eyebrow at me before rolling his eyes and looking down at the paper. He was scowling at the paper, as though he was trying to piece together a puzzle. Finally after a moment he stood up straight and walked back to the desk. He opened a different drawer this time and I saw that this drawer was filled with pens, pencils, highlighters and pencil crayons. I watched as Kaz’s scowl deepened as he stared at the disorganized drawer, before he picked up a handful of highlighters.

I watched in utter astonishment. What on earth did Kaz (Dirtyhands) Brekker need highlighters for? I raised an eyebrow at him in question but he ignored it. He set the highlighters on the table beside the paper.

“Jesper, watch.” Was all he said before he began... drawing? I looked over at the paper and saw above each of his sloppy drawings he had wrote ‘step 1, step 2, step 3’ then on the sides of his drawings he began writing vigorously. When he was finished he looked over at me expectantly. “The drawings are… nice?” I offered, unsure of what else to say. Kaz groaned in annoyance.

“You see these colours?” He asked holding up the highlighters. I stared at them for a minute before nodding. He then popped off the caps of each highlighter and pressed them to the paper, drawing a small line with each colour. “Purple,” Kaz said “is Inej.” And beside that line of colour he took a pencil and wrote her name. “You are the red.” He then wrote my name beside the red line. He proceeded to do this for everyone in the room before looking up at me, almost as if to see if I was listening. When he saw I was, he nodded, then he took the green highlighter (Nina’s colour) and highlighted a sentence beside a drawing of a girl in a sexy outfit in front of two men. The sentence above it said ‘Distract guards.’

“Nina will make an outfit that is sexually appealing and try to distract the guards with a flirtatious attitude.” Kaz said staring at me with no sign of ever looking away. It was a little unsettling. “Wylan will then come up behind them and place a bomb by the locked door. The guards won’t have anytime to stop it. Nina will then knock out the guards.” He explained, finally looking away from me and highlighting a paragraph above a picture of a boy crouched down near a large door in light blue (Wylan’s colour) with the same girl from the last picture standing in front of two men (the guards), he highlighted her role again in green.

“Now do I have to go over the entire thing or has your brain finally fished itself out of the gutter?” Kaz said glaring at me, but I knew there was no real heat in his eyes. “N- no, I’m good now.” I said quickly and watched as the tension seemed to flood out of his body. He quickly picked up the highlighters and highlighted the rest of the sentences and paragraphs different colours, then aggressively flung the paper over to me. I fumbled to catch the paper as it flipped and twisted in the air.

As I straightened the paper and read over everything I realized I actually understood what it was saying. I actually understand the plan! I feel as though a weight has been lifted off my shoulder. I can understand this! It isn’t hard to read! My eyes aren’t becoming blurry as I lose focus, this is SO easy to understand! It doesn’t feel like work, not the way listening had felt.

I look up and see Kaz staring at me. I smile at him in thanks. The corner of his mouth twists upwards for a second before quickly turning into a frown as Kaz looks away, refusing to look at me. I feel warmth spread all through my chest at the realization that he helped me. That he wanted to help me. I stare down at the paper in my hands. Yes, the drawings on it were hideous and the handwriting was rushed, but I know that this isn’t something I will ever throw out.

Later in the day when I go back home I find some tape and hold the paper in my left hand against the wall, while my right hand taped the corners of the paper. When I’m finished I take a step back.

It’s perfect.

[sonseulsoleil]

The overwhelming urge to write a modern university AU where The Slat is everyone's favorite crappy on campus coffee shop and Kaz is the (assistant) manager who hates talking to customers

[mysteryofvampires]

I hate when Jesper Fahey gets watered down to bisexual comic relief character who's also a huge flirt when this is literally such a small part of his character.

Jesper is as mentally ill, as Kaz, Inej or Wylan!! He has a gambling addiction and ADHD!

His mother died when he was a child and he had to hide his powers, this huge part of himself, because his own father was afraid of him and his powers. Also he had to be afraid because the life of a grisha can be very dangerous!!

Imagine always having the thought in the back of your head that someone could discover your secret and that you end up as a slave or something.

Canonly he sais that he likes shootings because then he doesn't have to think about something else.

Furthermore his life is dangerous. He is addictet to gambling and literally gambles away all his money.

And this makes his life also dangerous, because you know when you have debts there are people who would kill you to get their money from you!

Then there's Kaz who holds a gruge about him, because he made a mistake. Kaz, that one guy who's appreciation Jesper craves the most.

Tbh I think Kaz treats him unfairly sometimes but nobody seems to even care in that fandom.

Also when Colm is in the city imagine the guilt Jesper feels, because of him the farm, his childhood home!!, is in danger.

But also guilt about not being the person his father wants him to be (I'm not saying here that you should live the life your parents want for you, but the one you want).

Imagine Jesper thinking about how he failed his father, he loves so much and the guilt it brings him.

This character is so misunderstood by the fandom that I want to cry.

Why are we talking about Kaz's trauma or Inej's or Wylan's but never about Jesper's?

I don't understand why so many of you just see him as the flirty saucy bi man!!

[catdoingblep]

Crows as random google search suggestions part 3 (1 | 2)

[atatanya]

HC 1: Jesper learned to cook from his mama and took over the chore after she passed, teaching himself new recipes from her cookbooks as a way to feel closer to her.

HC 2: Jesper lacks the attentionspan needed to bake. He gets distracted by something shiny ("I looked away for a minute, Wylan, that's all!") and then the oven is smoking or the chocolate he was supposed to be melting is burned or whatever.

HC 3: Nina comes over regularly to "help" Wylan bake (i.e. be his taste tester) and reads him new recipes to try. Jesper pouts about being banished from the kitchen but secretly loves that she's helping Wylan come out of his shell.

[undercover-grisha]

Jesper Fahey with the un-pretty parts of ADHD

Jesper Fahey trying desperately to get his dopamine up to normal levels, whether it be with cards or guns or dice or relationships

Jesper Fahey not caring about what strangers think of him but being desperately anxious that saying the wrong thing to his friends will cause them to abandon him instantly

Jesper Fahey getting overwhelmed and overstimulated and snapping at people because he just can’t think and his body feels like it’s going to itch out of his skin

Jesper Fahey trying to get things done all day but instead ending up having nothing to show for it because he worried about whether or not he could do the things he needed to do for so long that now he’s done nothing

Jesper’s disability being treated like a disability by Kaz, who knows what it’s like.

Kaz planning out that Jesper’s going to be late because he knows Jesper has time blindness

Kaz giving Jesper clear instructions on what to do so Jesper doesn’t get overwhelmed and freeze up

Kaz (for better or for worse) giving Jesper an allowance to go do the things that give him dopamine rushes instead of punishing him

Kaz treating Jesper like the actual (almost) adult he is and not like a hyperactive little kid to be babysat

[sarcasticsouthernbookworm]

Jespers ADHD coding and the way he finally starts to confront it at the end of crooked kingdom with his dad and Inej and Wylan and even Kaz, makes me want to cry

[savethegrishaverse]

Disability and neurodiversity in the Grishaverse

With Disability Pride Month, let’s explore the Grishaverse's disability representation. Leigh Bardugo’s experience as a disabled author gives her a unique perspective in writing disabled characters, resulting in an intersectional cast that includes characters with physical disabilities and neurodivergences.

Kaz Brekker relies on a mobility aid—his infamous crow's head cane—due to a leg injury he sustained as a teenager that left him with a limp and chronic pain. Mobility aid users are usually portrayed as older, meaning Kaz, as a younger character who uses a cane, brings much-needed representation.

Wylan Van Eck has severe dyslexia. As he describes it, letters get mixed up, unlike music, numbers or equations. However, he excels in math, science, music and art. While there are many types of dyslexia, with differing severity, Wylan’s struggles resonate deeply with many dyslexic fans.

Bardugo also confirmed writing Jesper Fahey as having ADHD symptoms. His energetic nature makes him restless and impulsive, potentially contributing to his gambling addiction. He often spins or fidgets with his revolvers and rings, which can be interpreted as stimming. Fans with ADHD can relate to Jesper’s trouble focusing and constant need for stimulation.

Genya Safin suffers from monocular vision due to injuries from a Nichevo'ya attack and wears an eye patch. Her inclusion brings awareness to different types of visual impairments.

David Kostyk is a brilliant scientist and inventor but has trouble navigating social situations, is often quiet and prefers to keep to himself. He has difficulty maintaining eye contact when overwhelmed and expressing his feelings. David is interpreted as neurodivergent by many fans, which provides further representation to the series.

Two characters with prosthetic limbs are Adrik Zhabin and the Darkling. Adrik has a prosthetic arm due to an attack by the Darkling’s Nichevo'ya. Ironically, the Darkling lost his hand as well and now uses a prosthetic. Having two characters like this helps normalize limb differences.

Leigh Bardugo took great care to include neurodivergent and disabled characters in her stories, without them being defined solely by it. They go on adventures, fall in love, make mistakes, save the day—and just happen not to be neurotypical and/or able-bodied.

Because of this, the Grishaverse has some of the best disability representation in the fantasy genre. Not only does this kind of positive representation help similar fans feel seen, it also helps to destigmatize differences, showing we are all human. Happy Disability Pride Month!

[lunarthecorvus]

Post Crooked Kingdom Canon Compliant fanfiction recommendations part of Lunar's soc fanficiton rec series

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Vol. 1: Council of Thieves by lizaudreys

Wordcount: 122,891 Chapters: 45/45 (part of a series and is continued afterwards)

Characters: Kaz Brekker, Inej Ghafa, Jesper Fahey, Wylan Van Eck, Nina Zenik, Original Female Character(s), Original Male Character(s)

Tags: BAMF Inej Ghafa, Fluff and Angst, Jesper Fahey Has ADHD, Kaz Brekker Needs a Hug, Crime Children, Five Years Later, Post-Book 2: Crooked Kingdom, Hurt/Comfort, Slow Burn

Author's summary/notes: Five years after the Auction, the Crows have gone their separate ways. That is, until the Council of Tides demands that Kaz Brekker help rescue one of their newest initiates. Grisha all over are being targeted by ships disguised as slavers, rumors of a new form of jurda parem are spreading, and the fate of it all is yet again dependent on an unlikely gang of criminals. My summary/notes: Some fascinating council of tides lore, and the side/original characters in this fic are so interesting. Be prepared this fic has some wesper angst and some definite kanej angst, but there are some adorable moments. Goes into the crows friendships, especially Jesper + Inej and Kaz and Wylan (it does go into more dynamics). To finish it I will say there is a sort of ⊹hiest⊹.

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and you asked me to dance, but I said "dancing is a dangerous game" by sarathedreamer

Wordcount: 28,439 Chapters: 5/5

Characters: Inej Ghafa, Kaz Brekker, Wylan Van Eck, Jesper Fahey, Prince Ilya

Tags: Fluff and Angst, Fluff without Plot, Healing, Post-Book 2: Crooked Kingdom, Post-Book 2: Rule of Wolves, Hurt/Comfort, Canon Compliant ish

Author's summary/notes: “My darling Inej," he started in a very proper intonation, "treasure of my heart, feared Wraith of the Barrel, Scourge of the Seas, Bringer of Justice and Slayer of Men… would you like to dance with me?" Inej, Kaz, Wylan and Jesper get a very important invitation to the betrothal celebration of a certain Nina Zenik... angst, fluff, and yes, dancing, ensues between the King of the Barrel and the Queen of the Seas. This is part two of my kanej x cowboy like me series! I would highly recommend reading part one first before you dive into this :) Spoilers for RoW and obviously the Soc duology. Most of this is canon compliant because I love to play by the rules (except that we forget about the last two pages of Rule of Wolves for the sake of fluff and angst only... hehe) My summary/notes: Part of the kanej x cowboy like me series, which is such a good series, if you want kanej fluff then that is the series for you. This fic is Inej and Kaz being head over heels with each other for 5 chapters straight, featuring some wesper and Nina. May I intrigue you into this reading this fic by saying it has Kanej flirting and Captain Ghafa. Also THEY DANCE.

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Dealing With Our Demons by @ravenyenn19

Wordcount: 807,697 Chapters: 174/? (updates generally every few months)

Characters: Kaz Brekker, Inej Ghafa, Jesper Fahey, Nina Zenik, Wylan Van Eck, (as well as many other original characters and six of crows side characters)

Tags: Romance, Friendship, Love, POV Kaz Brekker, BAMF Inej Ghafa, Fluff, Romantic Fluff, Eventual Smut

Author's summary/notes: Inej's first letter back to Kaz after she leaves on her journey to hunt slavers, reunion ensues! Will they continue to learn how to battle their demons in order to get close to one another? My summary/notes: A classic Kanej fic, almost every Kanej fanfic reader knows this fic, the writing is impeccable. This fic made me fall in love with both Anika and Pim and then Pimika. To me this fic is canon. Now for a summary, this fic take you on a journey of healing and growing with both Kaz and Inej. You will come out of this fic a changed person.