#jeff's inn by the sea

[googoogojob]

not so much lonely pier at Jeff's inn by the sea

[humanityinahandbag]

I desperately want to see Ed and Stede roleplaying

And it's not even because I want them to have sex (and I do). But let's be honest. These two would embrace their roles like they were auditioning for a community theater play.

Lucius or Frenchie or even Olu might mention off hand how much roleplaying spiced up their love lives before explaining to their very confused captains exactly what it is.

"You play a character," Lucius would explain. "Something sexy. To spice up the moment, yunno?"

And these two would hear play a character and run an entire fucking 5k with it.

It would take them a solid 2 hours to even get to the sexy stuff, because Ed was so invested in running a professional bed and breakfast and Stede would be so enamored by Ed (Jeff) explaining why he chose lavender soap for the rooms instead of jasmine and they'd recruit some of the crew members to pretend to be guests, which ends up being really fucking awkward because Lucius expected it to be like a freaky orgy thing, but these two just genuinely wanted them to rate the services provided by Jeff's Inn by the Sea and give their opinions on whether or not they should put out orange marmalade for breakfast or raspberry jam.

"I really don't think you're understanding roleplay," Lucius will try and say.

"Hey!" Stede would snap. "Ed's doing a lovely job. You're a top rate innkeeper, darling!"

"But I think the point is like... what would happen if you showed up without money or something like that. Yunno? Like... how would you pay for the room...?"

"If he can't pay, he can't stay, man," says Ed, like it's obvious.

"Uh huh. But... you wouldn't let him offer to pay it some other way...?"

"Bro!" Ed has the audacity to look horrified. "I can't just go ahead letting people stay in rooms for a handy! I'd never make any money that way! I've got a business to run here!"

"Yeah, Lucius," says Stede. "He's got a business to run!"

"Right then," says Lucius. "My mistake."

(they get to the sexy times eventually. mostly because Ed is so incredibly turned on when Stede shows him how to fold napkins into swans, and nothing is hotter than stellar customer service.)

[myflagmeansace]

omg the potential of "Jeff's Inn by the Sea" banter between Ed and Stede 🥺

it could've gone something like this...

"Oh, hello there, sir. Welcome to Jeff's Inn by the Sea. How can I help you?"

"Yes, hello there, fair innkeep! What a fine establishment you have here. Loving your desk setup. Oh, and what a lovely boutonnière on your shirt there."

"Thank you. The owner makes us wear them."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, he can be a dick sometimes."

"Well, I'm sure he runs a tight ship, or rather inn. But I've heard it's the best one on the island."

"It is. We're booked up every night for the next four months."

"Oh, well, I hoped you might have a vacancy by any chance? You see, I'm a weary traveler with nowhere else to go and would love a place to rest my head for a bit."

"Mmm...let me check if we have anything available."

"Oka-."

"No, nothing available, sir. Sorry. But we do have an opening in four months. Our vista suite, comes with complimentary towels and a fishing equipment voucher you can use at the bar and grill next door."

"Oh well, I am rather tired. I don't think I can wait four months for a room."

"I'm sorry to hear that, sir."

"It's fine. I should've known better than to expect a fine inn like this to have any available beds to sleep in."

"I didn't say that."

"Mmm?"

"I didn't say there weren't any available beds you could sleep in."

"Oh, I thought you said..."

"Perhaps I could interest you in a different sleeping arrangement? Maybe a bed with silk sheets, fluffy pillows, and exquisite cashmere blankets?"

"Ooh, yes please!"

"You'd be sharing it, of course."

"Sharing it? With who?"

"Me."

[xray-vex]

customer service is top priority at Jeff's Inn by the Sea

[3majorursaminor77]

Just thought I'd post this in case anyone hasn't already seen it. It's a TED talk about art and creativity that Taika did back in 2010 after Boy was released and it's one of my favorite videos to watch because it really does inspire me to get creative, plus it never fails to make me laugh because Taika is in peak comedic form here-showcasing his typical dry/goofy sense of humor. Also want to point out that he apparently has loved the name Jeff and/or Jeffrey for years.

[blueberreads]

MerMay: 8 Jeff's Inn by the Sea

Jeff's been nice, Jeff's been polite 😠

I mixed up the prompts and prepared for the wrong day... 🤦 So here's a quick Jeff. No time to animate though, sorry!

@saveofmdcrewmates

[cannebady]

On an island, which island is immaterial, there is an inn by the sea. It's a place you go when the weight of the world is crushing in on you and you require safe harbor.

There are two proprietors; one golden blond and sunshine personified, one with a thick fall of silvering hair, the most beautiful eyes, and a set of keys that jingles just perfectly when he walks. There is a sense that this placed is loved, and that you are loved for being there.

It's clear that the proprietors are loved as well, by this home they made for themselves and for others, and by the way affection bleeds from them when they're in the same room. And by the others there too - one with an uneven gait and a resolute countenance that makes you feel protected, one that ensures everyone in present residence is not just fed but nourished.

When you get your breakfast, it's simple and delicious, somehow always what you didn't know you wanted, and always accompanied by a piece of twine tied into a bow or a heart, or on one memorable occasion something that looked an awful lot like a squid.

It's a place that is hard to find, and you need to know you're looking for it to get there, but when you arrive tired and weary, you have the strangest sense that you've been well and truly found.

[suiine]

Republic of Pirates Department of Inn Inspections

Business: Blackbeard's Inn by the Sea & Bar & Grill & Other Delicacies & Delights & Fishing Equipment & Gift Shop

Innkeeper(s): Stede Bonnet and Edward Bonnet

License #: N/A. Unlicensed business. Innkeepers saw the building and pirated it.

Inspection Findings:

unidentified foul odors

hazardous crumbling structure

fungi

Facility is not accessible for pirates with peglegs or the elderly

Do holes in the roof count as emergency fire exits? Referral to the Department of Immolation Safety

Malevolent paranormal activity. Facility is haunted by a petite ghost that called the inspector a twat

seagull in the premises

Unhygienic cooking practices. E. Bonnet had midriff exposed, S. Bonnet had unsecured cleavage exposed.

long gray hairs in food

owners engaging in intercourse in kitchen area. bare buttocks in contact with food preparation surfaces.

E. Bonnet caught 1 fish but brandished sword at guest who ordered grilled fish because it was "for his husband"

inadequate accommodations. guests must sleep on the floor. facility has 2 rooms but one is the "marital bedchambers" and the other is the "auxiliary wardrobe"

passive aggressiveness and threats of stabbings

gift shop consists of looted goods

owners are wanted criminals

Inspection Verdict: Pass ^_^ A+

1 violation issued for non-compliance with the Pirates With Disabilities Act

[naranjapetrificada]

Here we go then.

So it's a bit of a somber day, but we're still here and I for one plan to be here for the gay pirates for a long time. I had something else lined up for this week's WIP Wednesday but in the spirit of celebrating storytelling and creation I changed my mind.

This is from my ongoing arranged marriage AU, which is set in a fantasy version of our ancient world. From chapter 2 or 3, here's Stede at a campfire with some of Ed's people, listening to someone tell their creation story.

Although more advanced wordplay is lost on him, Stede's grasp on the language is good enough that he can follow along. He missed the beginning of course, but it sounds like a more detailed version of a creation tale that he's heard the broad strokes of before. "...they envied her, these gods of intangible things, for she had skills that they did not. She could make music, and shift into any shape she desired, and change things around her just by touching them. They complained to each other so much that eventually one of their number, called Idleness, said that their whining was boring and that they should do something about it. So these gods of the immaterial plotted to humble her by casting her down from the heavens. They searched far and wide and found an ugly, distant rock for her place of exile. They sought out allies, like Rage, who lent them his great strength and Deceit, who hid their actions from sight. There was no hiding from the father of them all, the one called Chaos, but Chaos takes no sides when his progeny squabble. Everyone heard her cries as she was torn from the heavens, and from the rip in space Chaos gave birth to a host of new children. Compassion, who began to weep, and Comfort, who soothed him. Mercy, Wonder, Grief, Protection, and too many others to name. They all banded together, and followed the trail of the Fallen One. So moved by her plight, these many gods began making plans of their own for when she landed on her barren rock. They created a powerful new ally for her, a brother, and they named him the Sky. The Sky watched his sister land on the rock and determined to do everything he could to make her more comfortable. He wrapped himself around the barren rock to protect her, and when she saw that she could trust him she introduced herself to him as Water. Together they filled the rock, which they named the earth, with things to delight their senses. Wind and fire and high mountains. Trees and grasses to fill everything with green. Flowers, fruit, and animals to keep plant growth in check. Water filled everything and touched everything, and so did her joy in discovering it all. But every time she tried to embrace the Sky, she grew too heavy and fell back down to the earth. The Sky watched over his sister during the day through his one large eye and at night from his many small ones, and he saw that she was lonely. So he made the first people, with skin the color of walnuts, for that was their first food, and hair black like the firmament it was spun from. He showed them how to befriend the first horses with fruit from the trees, and bid them ride to every corner of the earth so that no matter where she was, Water would never have to be lonely again.

I'm really excited to share this fic when it gets to a shareable point but I promised myself I'd have more finished before I'd let myself post it for real. In the meantime I'm out here looking forward to WIP Wednesday every week!

[moiirasketchup]

Welcome to Jeff's Inn by the Sea !

Jeff's Inn by the Sea is running by Jeff the Accountant and the Unbelievable Stede the Mermen. And it's under the protection of The Unicorn.

[sativaunt]

Our Flag Means Bluey

[xray-vex]

Guy named jeff: yeah i can Jeffinitely help you with that

[myflagmeansace]

Jeff's Inn by the Sea (the spider issue) - Stede saving Ed from a huge spider 🕷

"Fuck! This one's fucking massive. Stede? Stede!"

"Yes, darling?"

"Spider!"

"Oh god, that one's...oh! Would you look at that?"

"What?"

"Hello there! My goodness aren't you lost?"

"What is it?"

"It's a Dolomedes schauinslandi or the Rangatira spider, an absolute rarity in this part of the world. They're one of the largest spiders of its kind. It's a fascinating species but one that seems to be dying out quickly."

"Great so how do we get it to quickly die?"

"Oh, we couldn't possibly kill this one. She's hardly venomous."

"Yeah, okay, fuck this. I am not living in this house with that thing in here."

"Aw, Ed! Come on! We can keep her in a jar or probably a glass case, given her size. Make her a nice place to settle down."

"Yeah, and if you keep that one, then you'll want to keep all of them. And then one day I'll look around and see a bunch of fucking jars of fucking spiders fucking everywhere and who wants to stay at an inn full of spiders? I'll tell you who, no one! No one wants to stay at Jeff's Inn by the Sea with a Bunch of Fucking Jars of Spiders Everywhere!"

"That's a rather long name for an inn."

"No spiders!"

"Alright, I'll get rid of it."

"Stede?"

"Yeah?"

"You don't...you don't have to kill it. Just take it far away from here. Somewhere where it can't crawl back and take its revenge."

"I can do that. Come on, you precious thing, let's get you somewhere safe."

"Babe?"

"Mmm?"

"Thank you. Love you."

"I love you too, Ed."

[xray-vex]

[3majorursaminor77]

Taika Waititi using the name Jeff/Jeffrey at every opportunity is just my absolute favorite.

For instance, referring to Thor's hammer (Mjölnir) as Jeff during his promotions for Ragnarok. I'll give it a pass (seeing as I myself am of Norse ancestry) since the idea of Thor's ancient, powerful hammer that can summon lightning being called Jeff cracks me up. Also the fact that he got JEFF Goldblum to be in Ragnarok as well.

Gif by @captain-flint Jeff the accountant in Our Flag Means Death. And of course Jeff's Inn by the Sea, also in ofmd.

Jeff Suckler aka the latest reincarnation of Nadja's former lover Gregor from the What We Do in The Shadows tv series. Cannot confirm but I suspect Taika had something to do with him being named Jeff.

And here's Taika's Ted talk he did back in 2010 called The Art of Creativity. The whole thing is well worth watching but the exact moment I'm referring to when he uses the name Jeffrey is at the 9:21 timestamp.

Anyways, these are just a few instances, I know there's more and I'll tack them on as I think of them.

[thesefuckinggaypirates]

I had an idea and it wouldn't let me rest. My prediction for s3.

(Please like my shitty meme, I worked very hard. Lol)

guys... ed 'burnt the toast but added some twine as a flourish' teach and stede 'towels? what is this? are these jobs?' bonnet are going to try to run a customer service based business.