#jay forgotten memories

[roblox-yaoi]

I’m late to mermay but I don’t care

[writer-room]

Isn't it fun how everyone saw what terrified them most, but Nya's was so "unbelievable" that she broke out instantly? She was shown the one thing that was supposed to terrify her, make her spiral. But of course it wasn't real. It's Jay. If there's one thing she never once doubted, its that Jay is absolutely smitten, so of course he'd never forget her. What a silly thing to think, to be afraid of. She went through so damn much for this boy, and him for her, and we know how she is. Wouldn't it be petrifying if all that work, all that emotional turmoil, that clawing for love, could be forgotten just like that? Its quite a feat, really, that she can finally be confident in knowing such a fear is irrational.

It was easy to break free from such a place. It was only ever meant to scare her, and she has nothing to be afraid of. Right?

[legogender]

i actually seriously hope that jay doesnt get his memory back magically. and maybe even there isnt even a magical reason behind it. he just banged the shit out of him head during the merge and now has amnesia. FOR REAL

[wandasaura]

IT WAS NEVER MINE

summary — as your year long contract with natasha come to an end, all the feelings you’ve been trying to ignore come to the surface. you didn’t think they were yours to lose in the first place, but you’d never been so wrong in your life

warning(s) — established relationship, married wandanat, angst, hurt/comfort, brief mentions of panic attack/spiraling thoughts, confession of feelings, soft!wandanat, dom/sub dynamics, bratty behavior, face grabbing, fingering, ruined orgasm, degradation, praise, mommy kink, daddy kink, doggy position, oral, grinding, mutual orgasms, threesome, finger sucking, cum tasting, literal filth? men/minors dni

authors note — russian translations are included at the end of this work. we finally got the confessions of feelings! the trios officially a couple! everybody cheered!

you are in love universe

♥️⊹ ˚ . 18+, men/minors dni ⁺ 𓈒 ꒰💌꒱ ♡ ･ mommy maximoff ✧

Everything around you had been cemented in false permanence that you weren’t quite ready to give up just yet, or ever. The weather, the sunsets, the arms you fell into at night; a month into the summer holidays and you could no longer deny that your feelings for Wanda and Natasha were merely a result of the situation. You wanted them, in every way they would give themselves to you. You yearned for their laughter, and to join in on the soft kisses that came by the kitchen window every morning like a sacred routine. You wanted their eternal company and the lingering presence of where their gentle touch had lied even when they went away. To put it simply: you crave something that will never come. The terms of your contract were made clear when you signed them, but you were naive to have ever thought you wouldn’t catch feelings. 

With June halfway through and July on the cusp, the bed the couple fell into each night was practically your own now too, and clothes you wore frequently had been given an official place in the master en-suite closet beside Natasha’s. Some mornings, when sleep had been hard to claim and exhaustion carried over into sunrise, you couldn’t distinguish between what was hers and what was yours. When those days came like unexpected storm clouds, the gravity of your predicament clung to your skin like the disappointment of cold rain on a tropical vacation. 

Westview came alive in the summer months, like most shore towns in Jersey did once schools were out. The small town wasn’t one that you had been familiar with prior to signing the contract, rather isolated and forgotten about between the bigger beaches that bordered it, but now you that you knew of it and had seen it in the winter, you couldn’t imagine hard days without that small ice cream shop four blocks from the Maximoff’s, nor do you think you could survive hard semesters without escaping to the deserted edge of solid ground only locals visited when pale snow kissed tan sand. 

When sunshine became too bright to ignore, you were the last in the house to stir awake. The master bedroom was quiet, too quiet, save for the blue jays that chirped just beyond the sun-warm window. You sighed at the muted colors that adorned the walls and furniture within the room, wondering how some places could feel so lived in and empty in the same breath. You had to force yourself out of bed, though you would’ve rather stayed burrowed beneath thick blankets and pillows made of clouds until they fused to your three-day-old marked skin. Your routine may not have been as sweet as the married women who lingered somewhere beneath you, probably cuddled up close on the couch in the living room or laughing together in the kitchen over a memory you weren’t privy to knowing, but it had become something cherished since joining them in bed at night. Your fingers, cold from their lack of use throughout the night, trailed over the hickies that discolored your skin. The touch was softer than silk, fear clouding your impulses as you wondered if today would be the day they disappeared into nothing but another memory. In prior relationships, you’d always hated when your partner left you with physical remnants of the intimate connection you’d sought from them. It had always felt cliche and admittedly demeaning when you’d then have to walk around with splotches of burgundy peeking out from beneath clothes, but there was something different about the way you allowed Wanda and Natasha to claim you. Perhaps it was the sick pride you harbored just by knowing that your body was solely theirs to mark, or maybe it was your own twisted need to convince your mind that they cared for you the same way you did them like your heart so desperately wanted to believe. Either way, the love bites strewn across your neck lived to see another day if the intense sensitivity was any indication of their presence, and with the confirmation that everything you’ve devoted yourself to hadn't completely fallen away yet, the dread you faced like an endless mirror melted away to be stared at later on. 

With no energy to actually get dressed, because even a full night's sleep had felt like simple minutes recently, you didn’t even bother walking into the closet where your favorite outfits remained hung up on expensive metal hangers. You’d only stare at them blankly, no pull to anything in particular, until you walked away still clad in paint splattered shorts and a t-shirt you’d owned since high school. Every morning Wanda would say that the pajamas you wore weren’t allowed to exist outside of the house, and every day Natasha would drag you out for a walk while still wearing them. It was like they couldn’t agree on how to help you, but both women had noticed your shift in attitude even if they didn’t know the cause. You weren’t their lively girl anymore. You didn’t jump at the chance to skip down the pier holding tightly onto Natasha’s hand, you didn’t fling yourself off the countertops just because you knew it worried Wanda, and you didn’t bounce between offices seeking attention from whoever gave it first. As each day passed and another one came to the surface, you only got farther from the woman that they had loved. The woman you believed was unlovable. 

They tried to stand firm on the rules and expectations, having seen what happens when they try to soften their edges for you, but even doubling down on their control had been in vain. Your ass had been over both of their laps countless times in recent days, but all that seemed to do was fuel your desire to push back and retreat inward. Wanda had tried various other methods of punishment to break through whatever wall you were trying to keep up, hoping that getting you to relinquish control would settle whatever storm you had brewing beneath those dazzling eyes. Edging you had failed. You had blatantly refused to let her see how desperate you were, taking each edge with impressive neutrality until eventually she’d given you a full orgasm out of her own guilt and need to comfort. She had made you sit at the dining room table and write lines when you’d dared to try and talk back to her one night, but when she had come back to check on you the sheet of loose-leaf paper was blank and the pen hadn’t even been picked up. That was the first time you’d received the silent treatment from Wanda. She’d merely collected the paper and pen with a hum of dissatisfaction before she moved on with her evening as normal. There was no question about if you were still cared for, she tucked you in and kissed your head, but it wasn’t until the next morning rolled around when you’d heard her voice being directed toward you again. She could see that the punishment had affected you. It wasn’t typically one she resorted to, knowing how it could impact a submissive's emotions, but everything else had been falling flat on its face and she just wanted her girl back. She’d tried to amend the situation at the first chance she got, tried to comfort you in the way she knew you’d needed done, but you were more or less unresponsive to her attempts. 

As the nights of summer carried the end of your contract nearer, your sadness only grew and presented in agitating ways that were winding both of the redheads up – there was only so much more of your attitude that they could take before they snapped and you wouldn’t blame them when it came. The contract was practically the only thing on your mind anymore, namely the part of the document that disclosed the length of your agreement; twelve months. You were on month ten, and although a large part of you desperately wanted to enjoy these last few weeks entirely, the smaller, more stubborn part of you, felt like you had to protect yourself from the inevitable heartbreak that was to come. Change was unavoidable, you kept reminding yourself, but nothing could have prepared you for how truly fast it was happening. Natasha had promised you a glorious summer break. She’d promised s’mores and beach days and near permanent attachment. It wasn’t her that broke those promises, it was you. Even the thought of spending individual time with the Russian made panic flare within you, and though it wasn’t fair to her, you continued to cancel plans regardless. Today was another day of plans that wouldn’t happen, and there wasn’t even the slightest ounce of remorse in your belly as you descended toward the kitchen. You had been wrong for getting attached in the first place, you wouldn't add fuel to the fire so close to the once unimaginable end. 

 The lawyer owned a Harley-Davidson LiveWire. It sat covered by a thick black tarp in the two car garage that at some point during their relationship, had been converted into an at home gym. The very first time you had gotten a peak at the bike, you knew that you wanted to join her for a ride, but you found out weeks later that riding wasn’t something Natasha did often or at all, not anymore. Wanda had been the one to tell you why during one of the first conversations you’d had. She told you how Natasha had been in a bad crash, how the bike in the garage was a replacement for the one she’d used to have, how even the sight of it sent her spiraling and thus was why it remained permanently covered. But, after hearing about your interest, Natasha had spent months working through her anxiety just to give you a taste of the biking life she’d adored for so many years. She’d told you three weeks ago that she was almost ready to get back on, that she would let you know when she could trust herself not to panic. Months of working through trauma that could’ve easily stayed untouched just to see you smile, and now you didn’t even want to go. You were probably the shittiest person ever. They had every right to hate you come August, but you convinced yourself that that would make everything easier. If they still cared for you, you’d think about crawling back to them every second of the day. 

As expected, Wanda and Natasha were sitting together on the couch when you reached the end of the stairs. The windows in the living room were open and welcomed the fresh breeze inside, but despite the warmth that lingered with the wind, you shivered. Wanda’s head craned toward the stairs first, and then Natasha’s. It always took the Russian longer to notice you, and you wondered if Wanda really did just have a sixth sense because she never took more than a second to spot you, even if you tried to be as soundless as possible. They offered you sweet greetings and easy smiles, but they went unreturned. Three weeks ago, you would’ve melted into their laps and grinned eagerly, but now you merely rolled your eyes and shuffled into the kitchen where leftover ice cream from Billy’s remained in the freezer. 

Wanda had brought it home a few nights ago, her form of an apology for being kept at the office so late. It wasn’t yet fall, just barely summer really, but already their workload was starting to increase. You could see it in their eyes that carried permanent exhaustion, and though Natasha had thus far kept her promise of not being away, she worked in her office a significant amount more. Maybe your attitude is what pushed her to spend time with mind-melting files and cases, or maybe she was just accepting the end of the contract better than you. 

Your ice cream was decorated with sprinkles softer than sunsets. Their pastel shades were unlike the sprinkles sold at chain ice cream restaurants near your University and hometown, and you adored the simple detail that set Billy’s apart from everyone else. The first time Natasha had shown you to the parlor, you had claimed so boldly that despite being made of the same ingredients, the sprinkles tasted sweeter then the other ones you’ve tried. Another thing that had changed in your dynamic were the rules. Wanda was strict, hovering and well-alike to a helicopter parent, and when she’d realized that you only ate meals when they were prepared by either her or Natasha, she’d wasted no time in implementing another rule into your dynamic; you needed to eat at least one real meal a day. It wasn’t hard in the summer months. You were with them every day and you ate what they ate when they ate, but your late wake-up time had given you the perfect opportunity to make your lingering bad mood known in yet another way. You pulled the freezer open without any hesitation, heading straight for the half-eaten ice cream with your name on it. You’d scribbled your newest nickname, utenok, on the cover when you feared Natasha would eat it on you. The silliness and untainted delight that you had felt in that moment was practically unimaginable now. You tried to grasp at how light you had felt as you sat around the dining table joking with Wanda who had a smudge of peanut butter sauce on the tip of her nose, but you had come up empty handed quickly. 

Shaking your head, not wanting to spiral down another path of inconsolable tears, you directed your attention to finding a spoon. The many cabinets in the kitchen had once confused you, as they would anyone who was randomly dropped in a lavish kitchen with too many drawers to count, but now they were engraved in your memory and you hadn’t even stopped to question if you opened the right one, knowing confidently that you hadn’t messed up in months. The silverware was in the drawer closest to the sink, and you found a spoon easily. You hated how before you could even dig into your ice cream, that your mind felt the need to remind you about how in eight weeks, you’d have no right to this kitchen and the silverware inside of it. The first bite on your tongue felt wrong, and your stomach churned in thick guilt, but you ignored how badly you wanted to beg Wanda for forgiveness and went in for another mouthful. The sprinkles didn’t taste as sweet, but you knew that Wanda could see you from the living room so you kept up with the action. 

Her voice made you feel sick to your stomach when it finally attempted to reach your ears. “What are the rules, milaya?” She asked you with sternness, her eyes set into a thin glare that could end wars if the military let her loose on the battlefield. Nobody would go against her, they’d stand no chance, but you did. You had learned how to ignore the rush of guilt and shame that set in when she looked at you that way, and were becoming quite good at it if you had any say in the matter. No, that was a lie, the biggest lie that you had ever told yourself, but you had to try. You felt like the absolute worst person in the world when you went against Wanda, but in eight weeks there would be no Wanda to go against, so you tried to remain unbothered despite how bothered you actually were. 

“Don’t know. Don’t care.” Your clipped tone had made her flinch, had made her reel back into Natasha and pull her eyes away from you. Your heart dropped to your feet, your eyes stung with unshed tears that had come at least once every day since you realized how near the end was, but you didn’t apologize. You didn’t backtrack and attempt to amend what you were breaking. Instead, you scooped up another bite of ice cream that was significantly bigger than the last, and shoved it all into your mouth at once. The creamy flavor melted onto your tongue and tried to clear your mind, but the guilt made it difficult to win. You needed this. You needed them to hate you so that you could hate them, but it felt like a knife stabbing into your least important organs over and over. You could live without a spleen, but that didn’t mean it wouldn’t hurt for a while. You knew that you could live without them and their praise and reassurances, but that wouldn’t mean that even if they hated you it wouldn’t hurt. There was no good way out, but you were being forced closer and closer to the day with every minute that passed. 

“Put the ice cream away and get something else to eat, detka. You agreed to these rules.” Wanda came back at you harder, sterner, colder, and when you met her eyes from across two rooms, there was a fire beneath them that had made her near unrecognizable. Her publics were blown and darker than midnight as it hung over Westview, her lips were set into a firm line that would give her wrinkles by the time she was forty. She was miles away from the sweet woman you had seen glimpses of since dropping your what was your initial attitude, but even the woman you’d hated hadn’t been so harsh. Your nose crinkled, and for the softest second she believed that she had won, but when did you ever give in so easily, though nothing about this was easy. 

Raising your chin, the handle of the silver spoon felt heavy between your fingers that held it up to your lips where the taste of your treat lingered. She wasn’t going to make you back down when in eight weeks you’d be back on campus and without her. As horrible as it was to admit, you didn’t know who you were without them anymore. Natasha laid out outfits for you that paired sweetly with hers. Wanda made breakfast and dinner, and always asked you to help with lunch. They helped you sleep through storms and nightmares. They had satisfied you and completed you for ten months, and in turn you were just expected to know how to keep going without their rules. You’d drown before you even had the chance to swim. “Make me.” 

Daylight drenched the house in warmth, but the room felt cold when Wanda shot to her feet and started to approach with footsteps that were silent and deadly. You had half the mind to run in the opposite direction, to avoid whatever she was coming over to do, but you stayed firmly planted to the floor of the kitchen and dared to even take another mouthful of ice cream between your lips. For days you had been dismissive and hostile toward them, quieted by silence and fear, but those initial feelings were quickly folding into anger that begged to be released. 

You stiffened when her ringed hand caught your jaw, her fingertips squeezing your cheeks together not unkindly, but not softly either. You had amended your limits just as you had amended the rules now that Wanda was an active participant in your dynamic, but none of your new allowances had been used on you yet, there hadn’t been a reason. You had just given her a reason though, and your eyes, despite your willingness for them to remain slitted and annoyed, widened in shock immediately. You’d been adamant against Natasha grabbing you like this, a fear response from childhood that at the start of your relationship hadn’t yet been processed, but as your trust in their control had grown over time, so had your curiosity for harsher elements of kink and submission. Your core throbbed at the sensation of her fingers digging into your skin, and you wanted to kick yourself for folding so easily. You’d never accomplish anything if your body craved their touch, but getting them to hate you was just as hard as getting you to hate them. 

“I don’t know who you think you’re talking to like that. Mommy expects little girls to do as they're told the first time they’re asked, but it seems you’ve forgotten who you're with. One last chance, go put away the ice cream and find something else to eat. You will not take your attitude out on me when I have given you every opportunity to tell me what’s wrong.” If you thought she wouldn’t grab you any harsher, you were wrong. The grip she had on your face was painful now, and you could feel every grove in the metal around her fingers as they pressed into your cheeks and jaw. Every instinct in your body was screaming at you to listen to her, to just find something else to eat or ask her to make you something instead, but your anger had grown fond of disobedience, and you shook your head before you could process what would happen next. “Very well.” The hand on your face had fallen away just as quickly as it had come, leaving you with an ache on your face and soon an emptiness in your hands when she plucked the cup from between your grip and walked it over to the garbage can beneath the skin. You wanted to sob when you watched her throw it away, the bright colored cup a flash of pigment before it was completely out of sight and at the bottom of the bag. 

“What the fuck?” You complained, throwing the spoon down on the island countertop. The metal clanked against the marble when it made contact, but you didn’t care about how you might have scratched the surface they kept so perfect and tidy. There were too many bigger feelings coursing through your nerves to recognize how Wanda’s eyes snapped to the island before they fell upon yours again. She was getting sick and tired of your attitude. The sadness she’d felt when she first realized something was wrong hadn’t quickly become anger, but she was reaching that point now. You were forcing her over the edge with every minor act of brattiness you could even think to initiate. 

You were pinned between her body and the edge of the counter so quickly you hadn’t even realized that she had backed you in, but in a moment of forgetfulness, drunk of the state of her radiating dominance, your hands gripped onto the hem of her shirt and your eyes burned with desperation for her touch. You scolded yourself when you realized, but Wanda had already seen it and smirked knowingly down at you. You hadn’t responded to edging, but maybe you’d respond when someone properly ruined your orgasm for the first time. You never did take too kindly to their teasing, and it seemed that even in whatever funk had taken hold of you, your body was calling out for her attention. Who could blame you though, the three-day-old hickies on your neck were an indication of the last time you’d been touched, and you shared a bed with the hottest women in the world. 

Wanda’s hands were ruthless as they didn’t waste time with teasing. You’d been teased enough, there was no need for her to drag out your punishment. As cruel as she intended to be with you, she didn’t think you could handle being nothing but putty in her hands. Her and Natasha weren’t quiet when they ripped orgasms from each other in the shower at night as you laid in their bed waiting for their return, and they certainly weren’t quiet when they snuck into one of their offices upstairs in the middle of the day. Just because you hadn’t been touched, didn’t mean they hadn’t been, and the sounds of their pleasure had been torturous each and every time. They’d been waiting for you to come to them, waiting for the breaking point where you begged for their attention and any toy you were desperate enough to name at the moment. Asking for what you wanted was still hard, but they were patient enough to let you figure it out, and they had hoped that not immediately offering attention like they had a habit of doing would pull you out of your head. Clearly it hadn’t. Clearly, they’d failed to help you in yet another way. 

Wanda was in no mood to be patient anymore, and when her hands dipped beneath the waistband of your sleep shorts, that fact became very apparent to you. You gasped at the sensation of her cold fingers seeking out your clit with intent and eagerness. Your eyes snapped up to hers, a million silent questions buried beneath the haze of desperation her aggressiveness had provoked. You grinded down against her fingers, not being stopped. So much control was being placed in your hands, or at least that’s what you were being led to believe as she eased two fingers into your pulsating entrance and allowed you the freedom of grinding down on them however you wanted. You wanted to push her away, wanted to keep up your act and attitude, but that had all melted away from you the second her fingers curled into your soft spot. 

“Nobody’s touched this sweet pussy in three days.” Wanda hummed, her voice laced and dripping in false sympathy as she scissored you open and made you ache for more. There was no question to be answered in her observations, and it confused you. She almost always followed up with a question because she liked to see you squirm in pleasure unable to answer her. She liked to belittle you and force you to see just how pliable you were to her every direction. Everything that you had grown to accept and adore had been ripped away. Her lips hovered above yours, but they didn’t lean down to kiss you. Everything about this moment felt so impersonal and detached, and it made you cry out in frustration. She was only doing what you had done to her, she knew that, but you couldn’t even begin to wrap your head around it at this moment. When you’d eventually realize, she hoped it was enough to set you straight, because she desperately wanted to close the gap between your bodies and love you the right way. She kept her face mere inches from yours, her eyes open and hard and dilated. She was looking at you so cruelly, it made your insides feel like they were on trial. When a desperate moan fell from your lips, Wanda doubled her pace, ruthlessly rubbing circles on your clit that had become stiff beneath her thumb. “Gonna cum for Mommy, little slut?” 

“Y-Yes!” You only just barely managed to cry out, and you expected her to slow her pace and reprimand you for not asking her correctly, it had been three days since you’d called her Mommy and though you were aching for her to be just that to you, there was still bite left in your bones and Wanda merely hummed as she registered that fact. You would not like what was to come. She knew you would hate it. You liked full satisfying orgasms, and she couldn’t blame you for that, but the feeling you were about to become familiar with was the exact opposite. Only she was privy to that information though. 

“Then go ahead.” She shrugged haphazardly, a third finger daring to stretch you open and fill you up. Your walls accepted the burn, leaned into the pleasure, craved her touch and thanked every star in the universe for sending her down to you. With her permission to let go, you didn’t fight the coil from snapping within your belly. Your eyes fell closed at the sharp sensation of approaching, promised pleasure, but just as quickly as she’d let you think you were about to taste it, her fingers pulled away and left your hot cunt to pulsate and throb with no help or satisfaction. Your eyes shot open in shock, your hips writhing and bucking against the countertop as tears glistened in your eyes. You could feel it wash over you, just beneath the surface, but that was all that came from it. Your entrance sobbed at the loss of stimulation, your clit twitched and jumped in protest, but nothing could bring her back to you, and as quickly as you had tasted relief, it was gone and just nothing. 

“No!” You sobbed, your hand shooting out to grab Wanda’s wrist and drag it back to your uncomfortable core. She merely laughed at your distress, the sound foreign and cold as it rolled off her lips. Wanda had been mean, she’d been harsh and unforgiving, but she’d never been cruel. Not like this. Not with you. You didn’t know what to do with yourself as you stomped your feet and wiggling helplessly against the edge of the counter, unable to form the words that wouldn’t convince her to help you, but again, you didn’t know that this had been her plan all along; that no matter how much you begged and cried, she wasn’t going to make you cum. Not today. Not tomorrow. Maybe not even for the rest of the week. It depended on the state of your attitude. 

With a frown of sympathy that didn’t even attempt to be perceived as authentic, Wanda had the audacity to coo at your distressed expression and reach her hand out to gently cup your cheek that was damp from falling tears. “You didn’t like that, huh?” She questioned, her green eyes unwavering in their position of dominance. You shook your head feverishly, unable to stop the twitches of movement that made your entire body tremble. She offers you no support, no endearing kiss and soft reassurance, she’s allowed you to make your bed, it’s not her problem you’re expected to lay in it now. “You weren’t supposed to, devchonka. When you’re ready to talk about what’s bothering you, like the contract that’s been open in my office for the last week, we’ll see about fixing your little issue.” 

You swallowed thickly at the words she whispered against the sensitive shell of your ear, at the fact that she had figured out where your thoughts laid without you even saying anything. You wondered if she had told Natasha, wondered how long she had known what your attitude was about and had just been waiting for you to bring it up to her yourself. You had so many questions, but you always seemed to have questions when it came to Wanda and the ways in which she worked. Of course you had your own copy of the contract, they’d be horrible lawyers if they sent you away without one, but it had been thrown into a random box with the rest of your belongings when you had moved out of your dorm room in May. When you remembered the terms of the contract one afternoon, or more specifically when the agreed upon end would be, you’d sought out one of their copies, and Wanda’s was easiest to find. Her office was so meticulously clean and organized that it hadn’t been a hard task, but that should’ve been your first sign of caution. You were stupid to think she wouldn’t notice you’d been in there snooping around, you were even dumber for forgetting to put it back. So clearly in your mind you could remember how you fled in a state of panic when your eyes reached the black printed end date, August Third. You hadn’t been back in there since, and for the week that had followed, the contract had surely been sitting open and tear stained on her desk. You were an idiot. 

The only thing you could think to do as panic flared in your chest like a category five hurricane, was run in the opposite direction. Never in your life had you stood and faced a problem head on, and now was no time to start. Would she terminate the contract early? Would she berate you for having been in her office at all? You knew they had confidential files in almost every available drawer, and your heart raced with the possibility of her thinking you’d read them. You hadn’t, you’d only been looking for the contract, but you’d messed up too badly to even beg her to believe you on that. When the initial shock subsided, and you were aware enough to realize that Wanda had stepped away from you and offered you space, you didn’t even bother to grab your phone before you headed for the exit. You hadn’t stepped into your flip flops that had gained a permanent place beside the front door, didn’t even look back at Natasha calling for you to calm down and come back to her, you needed to get out of there before you could make things any worse. You're certain that Wanda hadn’t meant to rattle you so severely, she was just tired of dancing around the issue, but the damage was done, and you couldn’t stick around to see how it unfolded. 

The front door didn’t close behind you like you’d hoped. Your hand had barely even grazed against the edge of the door when you’d flailed your limb out towards it and you’d left in too much of a hurry for the gentle touch to matter anyways. Unfortunately for both them and you, it gave them the perfect glimpse of your form as it shot straight down the familiar route toward the beach. You hadn’t wanted them to know where you were going, hadn’t even considered it much, but it was an unconscious response after so many late night walks with Natasha. A sense of ease washed over Wanda when she could at least predict where you’d be going, but Natasha, who didn’t have the privilege of knowing what Wanda knew, was left to question whether she should go after you or not. You hadn’t brought shoes, and even if the shore was only seven blocks from the house, the asphalt would burn your skin in seconds. Despite the comfort that should’ve come with the fact that you were headed in the direction of a familiar and relatively safe location, Wanda could hear the rushing of blood in her ears as she retreated back to the living room and dropped down beside Natasha on the couch. Her face was the only indication of her worry, as her shoulders took the precision of a lawyer and sat aligned with her hips. 

Natasha sat absolutely stock still on the couch, her green eyes bouncing between Wanda’s crestfallen face and the open front door where she could vividly picture you standing so tensely before you were gone entirely. She’d known there was a problem, known that Wanda was on her last ounce of patience with your persistent disobedience, but she had placed all of her faith into her wife’s ability to handle things. She was accustomed to your bouts of bad days, aware that most of them came when your mother attempted to stir trouble in your life, but this felt different, this felt personal. Natasha’s gut clenched in guilt that she couldn’t even fathom the reason for. They’d been strict, and they’d been lenient, but any side of them hadn’t been received well, even when they approached you as equals. What you needed in this moment was anyone's guess, because anyone she tried to be for you only failed to help. Brokenly, like the world had just run away from her heart, Natasha kept her gaze steady on Wanda, begging to know what had happened. “What was that about?” The softest hint of not being a born and raised American played on the edge of her words, an indication that she was beyond upset. 

Wanda sighed, knowing it was never an easy conversation to be had when Natasha was too emotional to keep her accent out of her words. The woman preferred the American accent she’d adopted after nearly twenty-five years in the States, but no amount of practice could ever fully take Russia out of her heart. Natasha might put it on thick when she was trying to wind her up, might throw it out boldly when she wants to catch you off guard, but when it was soft, when it was gentle and broken, the Sokovian knows that it isn’t intentional. After so many years together she’s become fluent in the subtle tells of the woman's emotions. “She was looking at the contract a couple of days ago.” Wanda knows what her wife needs, and so she lets her own native accent lace her words. In this moment, they’re just two women from places of destruction that thought they had finally found something good. They’re not CEO’s with enough money to buy a country if they so pleased, they’re not dominants who seek to have control and obedience, they’re merely two hearts that just watched a piece of them run away in tears. 

“Why?” Natasha frowns when she finally processes the simple sentence Wanda whispered into the dry and heavy air around their warm and lonely bodies. She tries to wrack her brain for anything that she might’ve done in recent days that had violated the terms you’d agreed on, but she can’t find a single reason for you to have sought out Wanda’s copy of the contract and fled the way you did. Things had been going so well, only a few weeks ago she had asked you how you wanted to spend the anniversary of your dynamic, and she’d not seen even an ounce of reluctance in your eyes when you said you just wanted to spend it with her and Wanda. She’d been looking forward to it since then, meticulously sneaking off to her office and planning little things to fill the day with that she knew you would adore. She’d already drafted a new contract, one that was void of an end date because as much as she knew she wanted you eternally, that wasn’t yet a conversation that she had come to you with. Did you not want that now? Had she been a fool to ever think you did? 

Wanda’s face melted at the utterly crushed gleam that rested within Natasha’s typically vibrant green eyes. Sadness wasn’t even a strong enough word to abridge the kaleidoscope of emotions that crashed against her features like the shore, but Wanda didn’t need words, she already knew. She was feeling it too. “O, milaya.” She smiles sadly, knowing that as sharp as her wife can be, she was blind to the little gestures of love you’d been throwing out. She reciprocated them all, went above and beyond for you, but her own past had tainted the purity of affection. That was not something Wanda could blame her for missing, but didn’t stop her from hating. “She’s scared. As much as you have a hard time realizing that girl is head over heels for you, my best guess is that she thinks all of this,” Wanda gestures around the visible rooms, her eyes sweeping over your shoes in the entryway before they fall on the baby blue blanket Natasha had bought solely with you in mind that now lives on the loveseat in a ball. There are so many subtle traces of your presence that linger in their perfectly kept rooms, and Wanda adores each and every one. “is because of the contract.”

Natasha feels so stupid for not having realized the cause of your apprehension toward her sooner. If it were possible for her heart to break into a million pieces of sharp glass, she’s sure the organ would have crumbled into dust by now. She wonders how many nights you had laid awake between her and Wanda and tallied them off as one of your last chances to do so. The exhaustion on your face makes sense now, the inward spiraling she’d watched you do wasn’t so random anymore. She hates that she spent the first ten years of her life in a family void of love, she hates that even now at thirty-four, she hasn’t figured out how to show how she feels clearly. If she could just get over herself, maybe you wouldn’t be questioning your place in her home. “No.” Natasha shakes her head, her eyes begging with Wanda to believe the next string of words that fall from her tongue, “I-I love her.” 

Wanda smiles that same sad smile again, and her hands that are free of scars and calluses hold firmly to Natasha’s cheeks. It’s not the same grip that she’d held you with in the kitchen, it’s softer and tender and expels all of her unspoken emotions that nobody has found the words for yet. Tears glimmer in her eyes as she nods her head to the whispered admission that had been danced around for four months. Wanda’s always known that her wife has found another home in your heart, just like she’s always known that you’ve found a home in hers. She’s accepted that, but beyond that, she’s found a home in you too. “I know that, Natalia. YA nikogda ne zadavalsya etim voprosom. Nikodga. YA tozhe yeye lyublyu. YA lyublyu vas oboikh.” 

Natasha’s eyes brim with tears at the whispered confession in her native language. Sokovian and Russian are close enough to understand without having to learn the other, but Wanda had gone the extra mile to make her feel at home even thousands of miles away. Russia had never felt as soft as Wanda does in this moment, and Natasha can’t even begin to explain how disgustingly in love she is with the woman sat beside her. “My skazali, chto eto ne bylo nikakikh usloviy. My smotreli Pinokkio, i ty spel mne etu pesnyu. YA obeshchal tebe nikakikh usloviy.” Tears leak down Natasha’s face in single streams that resemble rivers, but Wanda’s quick to wipe them away, thinking her wife’s face is too beautiful to hold such sorrow. 

A wet chuckle falls from Wanda’s lips as she shakes her head, a soft smile pulling at the corners of her mouth that can’t quite stay in place with the sadness that keeps her still. “Vsegda byli kakiye-to usloviya, dorogaya. Menya ustraivayut eti struny. YA khochu eti struny.” There’s understanding and acceptance in her eyes, and Natasha doesn’t understand how she’s done something good enough to deserve a wife so accommodating. Wanda’s always known that Natasha was never fully hers, much like she’s always known she was never fully Natashas. Their hearts were forged in the same fire of pain and suffering. Wanda lost her home to bombings and war, Natasha lost hers to violent abuse. They were the best and worst parts of one another but you; you fit on them like a glass slipper made by magic. You fulfilled every part of their traumatized souls that they’d thought would remain empty until death took them whole. You showed them unconditional love, and yeah, you were blemished and traumatized too, but that just made it better.  

“I should have gone after her.” Natasha whispers into the silence that hasn’t fully come over the house in weeks. There was never silence when you were around, even when you slept whispered words of sweetness fell into the air as you wiggled and tossed in a dream she could only hope was innocent as you are. Her head falls forward until her forehead rests against Wanda, their green eyes that are so vastly different but similar connecting passionately. There’s worry brewing in her chest that she just can’t ignore, not when you’re out there without any way to communicate with them. You’re a perfectly capable adult, she knows that you can handle yourself, but you shouldn’t have to; not when you have her. 

“She needed space, moya lyubov’. She’ll come back to us.” Wanda mumbles, her lips ghosting over Natasha’s. It’s not quite a kiss, neither one of them lean into it, but neither of them pull away either. Right now, they just need to be close, they just need to hold onto hope that wherever you are, you’ve found the peace you needed. 

“She has to.” Natasha lets her eyes fall closed, and she silently counts the beats of her heart that she can feel against her ribcage. She loves you. She hadn’t been ready to admit it before, but it’s the only thing she can think of now. 

There’s a wistful smile on Wanda’s lips, and her eyes are so far away that Natasha knows she’s thinking of something specific. Whatever memory it is, she doesn’t ask. She just leans into her wife and hopes that she’s right, but Wanda’s never wrong, so there's no reason to worry. “She will. She always does.” 

-

The sand is coarse beneath your feet as the shore gets farther and farther behind you, off in the distance there's a seagull swooping down to steal the sandwich that one of the shoobies has packed from home, but you don’t witness the chaos unfold as you pace your way toward land. You don’t know how long it's been, but you know that the sun has shifted in the sky and the faintest wisp of pink clings to the horizon. The end of daylight is an approaching promise, and when it dawns on Westview you want nothing more than to be wrapped up safely in Wanda's arms for the duration of it. Even if it ends tomorrow, you need just one more night where you can pretend it’s all real. 

There’s a pair of vibrant seafoam green flip flops on your feet that aren’t yours, but the child who left them behind doesn’t miss them too much, hopefully at least. They barely fit, the heels of your feet hanging over the edge, but you're willing to suffer if it means avoiding the searing hot pavement on your journey back to the Maximoff residence. You don’t know why you ran, don’t know why you allowed yourself to fall back on that learned response to anything going awry, but there was nothing you could do to change how you reacted now. The time away had forced you into sounder thoughts, and the song of the ocean as it crashed against land had eased you down from panic quite well. All that lingered through your body now was longing for arms that felt forbidden, but you hoped they would make an exception just this once. The seven blocks back to the Maximoff residence was well known. You watched as the pastel homes that lined the coast as far as the eye could see became muted buildings and beige houses, counting down the sharp corners until the last number that remained was one. Six blocks had passed too quickly, in the estimated eleven minutes that it had been since your back faced the shore and your mind had made the decision to return, you hadn’t had the time to prepare yourself for what could possibly await you when you entered. The house could be ripped to shreds, or it could be still in perfect silence. Those had been the only two options when you were a child, but you found that it was neither when you finally mustered up the courage to set your hand on the unlocked knob and twist. 

You felt the eeriest sense of deja vu ambush your already hypersensitive nerves as you set your gaze on Wanda and Natasha cuddled together on the couch, watching old sitcom reruns beneath the blanket that had been bought by Natasha, and until this moment, solely used by you. Wanda had put up such a fuss about how it clashed with the theme they’d decorated the room with, you thought she might demand Natasha return it the very instance she saw it peeking out of a shopping bag, but that threat never came, and after seeing how in love you were with the feather light material, she had never even dared to move it into the linen closet where every other blanket they owned resided. Seeing them cuddled beneath something that had been bought specifically for you stirred feelings in your chest that you would much rather avoid but you wouldn’t run from your problems again. 

When your presence was noticed, it was merely seconds before two sets of strong and familiar arms wrapped tightly around your neck and torso. Wanda’s head burrowed deep into your chest seeking darkness while Natasha’s found a comfortable home in your shoulder demanding promise that you were real. It was never you in this position, with women clinging onto you desperately like you might vanish, but now that it was, you didn’t know what to do to console them. You mirrored the actions they’d done for you so many times before, hoping that it was the right move. One of your hands fell on the center of Wanda’s back, while the other curled into Natasha’s hair tightly. A strangled sigh escaped from your lips when you submitted to the comfort they radiated, but you knew that forgiveness was too good to be true, so you waited with baited breath for the other shoe to drop. 

“Don’t ever do that again.” Wanda mumbled into your chest, your skin kissed by unrelenting sunlight unsurprisingly warm beneath her cheek as she craned her head to look up into your eyes that were already looking down at her. Her knees must be bent, because otherwise she’d be nearly six inches taller than you, but you appreciate the shift in position even if it’s foreign. You’ve never noticed how thin the bridge of her nose is until now, and softly, unable to help yourself, you leaned down to kiss the unblemished and freckle-free skin. Her eyes fluttered closed at the close proximity of your faces, but if you thought that would’ve been enough to quell her scolding, you were wrong. “Do you hear me, dorogaya. Do not ever leave like that again.” Her fingers curled into the fabric of your sleep shirt and you felt your heart sink with guilt. 

“I’m sorry.” You whispered, not even sure if the weight behind your words was strong enough to reach her ears comprehensively. Tears brimmed within your eyes before you could stop them, and you felt small in your skin like it didn’t really fit on your body. Wanda pulled away from your embrace first, her head shaking firmly left to right as she unmade you with one simple look. You didn’t understand how she could do that, but you felt properly vulnerable beneath her heavy stare.

Her words were soft, and her hand reached out to tenderly hold your face. It would be weeks before they could trust that you wouldn’t go running away again. “Don’t apologize. There’s no reason to apologize.” She promised genuinely, even though you felt like that was the furthest thing from the truth. “I just need you to promise you’ll never run like that again. You don’t even know how badly you scared me, angel.” Her voice was raw, thin and shaky, and you realized quickly that the anger you’d been expecting was nowhere to be found. In place of it however, was worry and concern that could make even the worst person weak in the knees with sympathy. 

“I won’t.” You returned the gentle whisper, your eyes fluttering shut as you tried to collect yourself. Natasha still gripped you firmly and persistently, her hands clawing at the loose fabric of your sleep shirt like she was trying to get beneath it without really removing it at all. You’d never seen her so distressed before, and your eyes met Wanda’s in a panic not knowing what to do to console her. 

Wanda smiled softly at you before her hand fell onto the small of Natasha’s back and rubbed gentle circles. You absorbed the little pieces of information that was being provided, pocketing them for a later date that in full transparency, you hoped never came. You didn’t like seeing her so out of sorts, and you especially didn’t like being the reason for it. “Ona nikuda ne denetsya, dorogaya. Teper' ty mozhesh' otpustit'. Posmotri na neye, ona nastoyashchaya. Ona bol'she ne uydet. Vse normal'no.” Wanda’s words were quick and soft, delivered in what you could only assume was Russia, but they seemed to work effectively because not even a second later, Natasha was pulling away from where she had attached herself to you and her eyes searched your face and body for any visible injuries. 

“I’m okay.” You promised softly, not entirely sure if your word meant anything to her anymore, but hoping that they still did. You didn’t need to hear her internal questions to know what answer she wanted from you, and you were more than willing to provide what little information you could if it meant sparing you the heartbreak of having to witness her so broken down again. You didn’t have all the answers she wanted though, and that part pained you deeply. As much as you knew why you had run, and you could explain it to her if she asked, you didn’t have any valid reason as to why Wanda’s words had spooked you so much. Maybe it was the confirmation that things were really changing, or maybe it was something entirely different that you would never know. “A little sunburnt, but I’m okay.” You added when you sensed her hesitation to believe you, and she nodded curtly at your added affirmation. There was no denying the tautness in your cheeks, the only indication that sat on your skin that you’d wake up in lingering pain tomorrow. Sun burns had never been so common for you, but now you have one nearly every week. 

Wanda guided your attention back to her carefully, not wanting to rattle you like she had hours prior. Your wide eyes stared into hers without any hesitation or reluctance, clinging onto the open silence that rested comfortably overtop of you. The walls that you had slowly been building for the last week were finally gone, and in their places was the girl that she knew was just desperate for affection and tender care. Wanda hadn’t realized how much she missed you until she had you back, and she promised herself she’d never let you slip so far away again. “Are you ready to talk to us, milaya moya?” 

You nodded your head at her simple question, not wanting to avoid the topic any longer then you already had. It wouldn’t get any easier the longer you waited, and desperately you wanted all to be forgiven so you could lean up and kiss her. It didn’t feel right to do that now, not when you hadn’t offered her any kind of explanation or apology for your ongoing behavior. She took your hand routinely, a small habit that had formed in the weeks that followed the change in your relationship. She was always leading you around, always hovering and assuring that you were content and okay. If you were in a public space, she set the expectations that if you weren’t holding onto her or Natasha, you were within eyeshot. If you were in the car, even if she’d heard your seatbelt click into place, she was leaning over to fix it and assure it fell over your chest correctly. There was so much love in her simple actions, you felt like crying just recounting a few of them in your head. She guided you over to the couch, only letting go of your hand so that she could ease you down onto the soft cushions that welcomed your weight without protest and drape the soft blue blanket across your sun kissed thighs. You were thankful for the addition of your blanket, already cold from the abrupt displacement of the unfiltered sun against your skin. 

“Can I go first?” Wanda asked cautiously once all three of you were settled on the couch. Natasha was curled up against the arm of the sofa, looking entirely unlike herself as she gnawed nervously on her bottom lip and flickered her gaze between you and Wanda. The Sokovian was in a similar position, though her hand was grasping yours securely and her thumb ran over your knuckling soothingly. Natasha made no attempt to touch you, and you tried to swallow down your disappointment. You didn’t deserve her touch, you were lucky enough to have Wanda. 

You nodded at the lawyer's question, your eyes briefly trailing over to gaze at Natasha, wanting to assure that it was alright with her that you allow Wanda to take control of the conversation for the time being. It would give you time to get your own thoughts in order, and Natasha had no protests about the idea, inclining her head the slightest inch. Wanda smiled softly at the both of you, her grip never wavering around your hand. “I’ll start with what I think spooked you so badly this afternoon.” Wanda’s voice was soft and patient, no ounce of anger lingering in her tone like you’d been expecting. It was as if you’d already been forgiven for your week-long attitude and misbehavior, something that was still foreign to you after nearly a year of being treated this way. The Maximoff’s never went to bed angry, it was a rule within their own relationship that had also fallen upon you, but you aren’t sure that you’d ever get used to it. “I found the contract on my desk a few days ago. I thought nothing of it until I noticed how you started to pull away from Natasha and I.” You winced slightly, shame rushing over you, but Wanda merely smiled encouragingly down at you when she felt the minor movement. “I had hoped that you would come to us when you were ready to talk about it. I didn’t want to rush you into a conversation you couldn’t handle. Natasha and I work so well because we communicate with one another, sometimes it takes a couple of days for us to sort out our thoughts on something that we don’t agree with, but we make it a point not to hold any judgment until we have the full story. This is all so new to you still, I figured you might like the same curiosity. I can take responsibility for not addressing the issue sooner; for not letting you know that I saw you were upset right away. It must’ve seemed like we didn’t care about what was going on in that pretty little head of yours, but that was never the reason we didn’t say anything. Your feelings matter just as much as ours, this is not a one-sided relationship. You don’t have to make yourself small just so we’re not inconvenienced. With that being said, I shouldn’t have approached you the way that I did in the kitchen. That was a lot of new things all at once when you were already feeling pretty confused, huh?” 

You listened intently to Wanda’s words, hanging onto her every syllable as you gave her your full undivided attention. At some point, Natasha’s body had curled into yours, but you barely even recognized the way she was trying to hold you as you let yourself fall into a world where only you and Wanda existed. Behind her, daylight had melted into blackness, nightfall in full swing overtop of Westview. The weight of her apology had struck a chord within your broken heart, and you’d almost violently flinched away from it, but by some miracle, you remained perfectly still. It didn’t feel right to be receiving such an honest apology, but you knew she’d only fight you on the matter if you spoke up about how undeserving you felt. You just barely managed to nod your head at her question, squeezing her hand tightly. “Yeah.” 

“How did you feel about it?” She smiled encouragingly, always eager to hear your opinions on the new things they implemented when you were in the proper headspace to accurately communicate how it had made you feel. It was all still so new to you, and talking about sex felt like something cliche, but you tried your best for them. At the follow up question, you became faintly aware of how Natasha’s hand slipped beneath your t-shirt and sat firmly on the warm skin of your back, reassuring you that she was there as well and at the first sign of trouble she’d pull you out. 

“I… liked it.” You admitted shyly, your gaze flickering down to the blanket that covered your thighs and brought a comforting warmth over your body that goosebumps had threatened to adorn had she not covered you so quickly. You found that running your fingers over the soft blue checkered pattern was more interesting than meeting Wanda’s intense stare, still not entirely used to the way that it made you feel vulnerable. “I didn’t like when you pulled away though.” 

She smiled sympathetically, and this time it was genuine. Flashes of the earlier afternoon settled at the forefront of your memory, and you could distinctly recall how her grin had been anything but what it was now when you were pinned between her body and the counter writing in frustration. “You weren’t supposed to like that part, milaya. How do you feel about keeping ruined orgasms as punishment?” 

“Okay.” You shrugged, not really having an opinion on the subject. It wasn’t something you hated, not even really something you minded if you were going to be honest, but the idea of incorporating it into your sex life felt too bold. If you were going to be giving yourself over to Wanda or Natasha, you didn’t want the decision of if you were going to be allowed to enjoy your climax fully to be fully over your head the entire time. You were aware enough to know that a situation like that would only trigger your anxiety. 

“Okay.” Wanda copied your words, a teasing smile pulling at her lips when you finally mustered up the courage to meet her eyes again. A timid blush settled across your cheeks with heat that rivaled the summer sun, a shy smile pulled at the corners of your lips as you sat beneath her pride filled expression, but you didn’t back away from her stare, slowly gaining back the confidence you had lost. “Now, do you wanna tell us why you were so upset about the contract? I think we have a pretty good idea, but we need to hear it in your words.” 

You swallowed thickly, almost tempted to shake your head and push the conversation off for another time, but Natasha gripped your waist soothingly and spared you a smile that felt limited now. You hated that you had been the cause of her distress, hated that it still lingered on her face and there was nothing you could do to amend it. You took a breath, trying to keep yourself together before you fell apart again. How do you tell two married women that you love them? There’s not exactly a handbook that goes through step-by-step explanations for this sort of conversation. “The contract ends soon. In less than eight weeks. I don’t– I can’t– I don’t want to just– You’re married!” You finally bellowed, frustration lacing your tone at the jumbled mess of words that got caught in the back of your throat before they’d even become full sentences. “You’re married and I’m just a contract and I– I like this. I like being here with you, and I’m scared about what happens when it ends and you have no obligation to keep me around. I thought that if I pushed you away it would make having to leave easier.” 

You didn’t want to see the expressions on their faces as you cracked, everything you’d been meaning to tell them for weeks and long days finally out in front of you for them to analyze and criticize however they pleased. Maybe it wasn’t everything, maybe you’d kept some very major things to yourself, but it was enough to leave you feeling vulnerable and raw. Your eyes glimmered with tears, the lights in the room reflecting off of them in a way that allowed them to resemble stars. Wanda thought you were too pretty to cry, but she also couldn’t help but get lost in the galaxy you allowed the world to witness. It was Natasha’s voice that captured your attention, and your head snapped in her direction when the first words out of her mouth were an apology. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t make it clear to you how much I want you here, moy malen'kiy utenok.” Her voice cracked as she held onto your stare, feeling just as vulnerable as you as she let herself be less than a world-class lawyer for the time being. She was just Natalia right now, sat beside you with her own set of tears dampening her eyes and a pout that wasn’t quite a frown on her lips that were the same color as fresh unskinned peaches. She wasn’t Natasha, the version of herself who had her entire life figured out and laid in perfect rows ahead of her, but Natalia, the woman who had just barely survived childhood in Russia before she was adopted by a family that had just barely escaped years prior. Even if Melina and Alexei weren’t perfect parents, they tried so hard to be the remedy that her shattered heart needed. The words Melina had engraved in her mind were the only thing that kept her talking as she stared down at you. You didn’t realize that behind you, Wanda was mouthing the words like a mantra, an added element of encouragement that Natasha didn’t really need, but appreciated nonetheless; ‘Pain only makes you stronger, big girl. Do not cry over the growth you are experiencing’. “You are not just a contract. You’ve never been just a contract, I hate that you even think that’s all you are. Before I met Wanda, the only person I had ever known how to love was Yelena. And even then, I didn’t do it right most of the time. My parents… they believed that love was your greatest weakness. They taught me how to hate, and how to hide who I am. I’m still learning how to let people in.” Natasha drew a shaky breath in, her fingers that rested on the skin of your hip clutched you tightly, begging you to stay; to see and believe the truth in her words. “I put that end date on your contract so that you would have the choice to decide if, when the year ended, you wanted to stay. It was never meant to be an official end. Honey, I could never let you walk out of my life. Not fully. Not without at least trying to get you to stay. I look forward to coming home to you just as much as I look forward to coming home to Wanda. YA tebya lyublyu.” 

Your breath caught in your throat at the whispered confession she was certain you couldn’t understand. You heard her and Wanda whisper sweet nothings in their native languages often, but you never paid close enough attention to them. It had always felt intimate, like a secret only they were allowed to know, but you’d spent countless hours teaching yourself simpler phrases and sayings. A wet smile pulled your lips firmly upward, and you leaned just close enough for your forehead to brush against Natasha’s. You didn’t know she’d done the same thing to Wanda earlier, but Sokovian smiled softly at your likeness, even if the both of you were painfully blind to it. 

“I love you too.” You whispered back, your eyes locked firmly on the Russian’s. You smirked smugly at the expression of pure surprise that easily captured Natasha’s features, and you fondly remembered a similar look crossing Wanda’s face when you had pleaded with her to stop teasing. “I’ve been teaching myself. Little phrases, nothing major, not yet at least. I can’t speak it very well, but I can confidently understand when you call me an idiot and think I’m none the wiser.”  Wanda laughed softly at your admission, though Natasha’s cheeks flushed crimson knowing she’d been caught, on multiple occasions. She always did it affectionately, that was never a question in your mind, but you enjoyed teasing her, and you especially enjoyed seeing that warm smile come back to her face. “YA tebya lyublyu.” You whispered to her, your face mere inches from hers. 

“Say it again.” Natasha demanded, her eyes laced with lust that hadn’t been taken care of by your hands in days. You would certainly need to fix that. You merely remained smug against your spot on the couch, acutely aware of how Wanda’s arms circled around your waist and pinned you to her chest. You raised your hands to cup her still flushed cheeks, gingerly pressing your lips to her nose in a kiss too soft to fully quench her need for you. With her face in your hands, you briefly flashed back to the impromptu escapade you’d embarked on in the shower on the morning of their Memorial Day barbeque, more specifically how quickly she’d managed to flip your position in a matter of seconds, but you still dared to try and remain the one in control anyway. 

You shook your head at her request, certain that your lips would remain in a permanent smirk if she didn’t do something about it soon. “Show me.” You uttered, the need to taunt her thick and evident in your simple demand that only further drove her crazy. “Show me how much you love me, Nat.” The breathiness of your words brushed against her face, and she didn’t hesitate to comply for a single second. She’d be a proper full to turn you down. 

Lips that tasted faintly of cherry met yours in a passionate embrace that had a moan slipping from your open mouth and into hers. The force of her attack had been unsuspected, and it sent you falling backward into Wanda who accepted the heavy weight of your body against hers greedily. There was no fight for dominance, no urgency in Natasha’s kiss. She had kissed you a million times before but none had ever felt so vulnerable and real and right. You weren’t kissing her as your dominant. No, for the first time ever you were kissing her as the woman you loved. She licked at you slowly, tasting every inch of your mouth like it was the first and last time she’d ever have the opportunity to do so, and you allowed her that freedom without complaint. Your tongue clashed with hers on multiple occasions, the both of you too eager to prove your love that rhythm failed you. Each time your tongue touched, you moaned in tandem and grew red in the face. Not from embarrassment, but because neither of you had come up for air since leaning forward. Wanda, despite not being a part of your make-out session, had made herself busy behind you, not wanting to miss out entirely. Her soft lips ran over the skin on your neck, dampened by her tongue that had swept across them eager. She was careful not to hurt you, knowing all the places that became especially sensitive when you were turned on, but she made every effort to make her claim against your skin as she bit and sucked on expanses of skin that had miraculously remained unmarked until this moment. When Natasha bit down on your bottom lip, you couldn’t take the pleasure any longer, and your head tilted backward in pure ecstasy.  

“I want– I want your clothes off. Both of you..” You choked out breathlessly, just barely managing to pull yourself away from Wanda’s mouth on your neck, despite wanting to drown yourself in the sensations she was causing to shoot down your spine. You could appreciate their slow pace another day, but right now, all you wanted was to have them fully, to take their bodies into your hands and make them cum. It had been far too long since you’d last had the privilege. 

“Look at you making demands.” Wanda teased, her teeth nipping at your neck one last time before she complied with your request. You had half the mind to push her away and roll your eyes in fond exasperation, but Natasha feverishly stripping out of her clothes had distracted you before the words could fall from between your lips in a rushed mumble. The Russian wasted no time in making the act look sexy, you’d seen her be sexy about three million and one times. Right now was not about appearances, it was solely about connecting with the two women you loved. The women you loved. The women who loved you. Even if Wanda hadn’t said it, letting you have your moment with Natasha, you felt it. You felt it in the way she’d held you so tightly at the door. You felt it in the way she made sure you had a blanket when she sat you down to talk. You felt it now as the tenderness of your neck set in firmly. You were so beyond loved, and you loved them so beyond much. Natasha’s hair was a tousled and properly frizzy mess by the time she had actually managed to pull her shirt away from her body and discard it haphazardly on the floor to be picked up later, but you thought she looked stunning with wild curls framing her face and a flush blush to her cheeks and neck. Her leggings went next, and with them came a set of royal blue panties you’d never seen before. You’d definitely be making it known how much you loved them when you were in the proper mindset to speak full sentences. 

Wanda forced your head in her direction after her clothes had joined the already existing heap of fabric on the floor. Your sleep shirt and shorts were nestled somewhere between the both of their more presentable outfits, but you couldn’t help but think the difference of wardrobe perfectly summarized your relationship. It felt especially fitting in this moment with your body pressed between the both of them. Wanda pulled you in for a desperate kiss, her lips softer then Natasha’s but her teeth crueler. You whined when she pulled away too soon for your liking, but it was replaced with a desperate moan when she breathed out instructions against your lips, “You’re going to eat me out, and Natasha’s going to finger you.” 

“What about– What about Nat?” You questioned, but Wanda was already lowering her position on the couch and spreading her legs for you to see her fully. You groaned at the wetness that clung to the inside of her thighs, not even sparing a single second before you dove straight into her dripping cunt. The first taste of her arousal against your tongue had forced you into autopilot. You’d become fluent in the language of her pussy, and it hadn’t failed you yet as you lapped at her clit with a heavy pressure and let your fingers explore her entrance before they dipped in fully. You hadn’t thought that this could get any better, but then you felt Natasha’s warm cunt settle firmly against the back of your flexed calf. Your doggy position gave her the perfect chiseled surface to grind against however she pleased. You didn’t have questions about her pleasure anymore, knowing exactly how the Russian planned to cum; on your leg. 

The groan that slipped past your lips when two of her fingers pushed against your weeping entrance shot right into Wanda’s clit, and the Sokovian moaned loudly at the sensation that tickled up her belly and through her spine. Your tongue worked double time against her sensitive bundle of nerves, and eventually your fingers found a brutal pace that matched Natasha’s. Every time the Russian’s fingers curled into your softest spot, yours curled into Wanda’s. Every time the Russian’s hips stuttered against your calf, your tongue flicked harshly at Wanda’s clit. Your motions were perfectly in sync. They weren’t romantic, they lacked grace and care, but they were exactly what you all needed in this moment. When Wanda cried out in pleasure that came solely from your mouth and fingers, a complete sense of pride washed over you. Your tongue didn’t stop caressing her clit, working her farther and farther up the hill Natasha had you climbing steadily. 

It was only when the Russian’s thumb rubbed a particularly harsh and tight circle against your clit that you came with a body shaking moan that effectively pushed Wanda over that same edge. Natasha wasn’t far behind, and when you’d only just started to come down from your intense high, she was reaching hers. Her hips stuttered and jerked against your naked calf that glistened with her juices undoubtedly, and you couldn’t stop yourself from flexing the muscle beneath her weight. You collapsed against Wanda’s chest the second you had felt Natasha go slack behind you, and slowly, you pulled your fingers from where they rested in her cunt. Cheekily, you licked them clean, maintaining eye contact all the while. Natasha wasn’t as selfish. Her fingers shot out to Wanda’s lips in a second, and the Sokovian allowed their weighted presence in her mouth as she lapped up for juices. The sight was unreal, and if you hadn’t already been jello against her chest, you were certain you would’ve melted into her. 

“Wands?” You called out sleepy, not having the energy to even crane your head and search for her eyes in the dim lighting of the living room. 

“Yes, dorogaya?” She answered you softly, her own eyes fluttering closed just as Natasha found a comfortable position against the back of the couch. Your limbs were entangled, thighs between thighs and ankles crossed over, but you made it work. It would leave you with a serious kink in your neck tomorrow, but for tonight, it was the only place you wanted to be. 

“I love you too.” You whispered in Sokovian, having practiced them tirelessly since the first day you realized that your feelings for Wanda had never been hatred. You found that the languages merged beautifully together, but you wanted Wanda to feel just as seen and special as Natasha. You didn’t see her face when the words fell from your lips, you wish you’d had the energy to look at her when you finally admitted defeat and gave into your confused feelings, but just feeling the way her breath hitched in your chest was enough for you in this moment. 

Her hand, still adorned with rings that were cold to the touch, fell onto the small of your back like they’d always belonged exactly there, and held you to her chest tightly, not wanting to risk for even a single moment that if she wasn’t touching you, you’d fall away and never return. “I love you too, sweetheart. So much. You don’t even know.” 

“I do.” You whispered, your eyelids heavy and unable to fight against sleep, but there was one last thing that you wanted to say before you gave in entirely and left this perfect moment to be just another memory. “Natty?” You called, hoping the Russian was still awake against your side. 

“Yes, moya lyubov’.” Her voice was thick, gravely as it fell into the silence that was pulling you deeper beneath the blanket of dreamland that hadn’t felt peaceful in days. 

“YA tebya lyublyu.” You barely managed to get out, but you did, and just before you fell asleep, you heard her mumble back the same. 

It may not be perfect, but it didn’t really need to be.

I know that, Natalia. YA nikogda ne zadavalsya etim voprosom. Nikodga. YA tozhe yeye lyublyu. YA lyublyu vas oboikh. — I never questioned that. I love her too. I love both of you.

My skazali, chto eto ne bylo nikakikh usloviy. My smotreli Pinokkio, i ty spel mne etu pesnyu. YA obeshchal tebe nikakikh usloviy. — We said it was no strings attached. We watched Pinnochio and you sang the song to me. I promised you no strings.

Vsegda byli kakiye-to usloviya, dorogaya. Menya ustraivayut eti struny. YA khochu eti struny. — There was always going to be strings attached, honey. I'm okay with these strings. I want these strings.

Ona nikuda ne denetsya, dorogaya. Teper' ty mozhesh' otpustit'. Posmotri na neye, ona nastoyashchaya. Ona bol'she ne uydet. Vse normal'no. — She's not going anywhere, darling. You can let go now. Look at her, she's real. She's not leaving again. It's okay.

moy malen'kiy utenok — my little duckling

[manicpixievixen]

Open arms

Jason todd x gn!reader one-shot

Warnings: None really, the reader is still referred to as smaller than Jason and wearing a 'small pajama set', but other than that, it can be read as any gender.

Summary: Another one of Redhoods visits to your place, and he was always welcome. You give Jason a little talk about what you are to each other.

Wc: 2.1k masterlist

Jason had been stopping by your apartment for so long you could barely pinpoint the day it'd started. Like clockwork at increasingly late hours of the night, he would climb in through a purposefully open window and make his way inside. Sometimes getting caught in the drapes and hoping you hadn't noticed him clumsily swatting them away like a cat with its claw stuck in the window screen.

The memory of how this routine started was almost blurry in your head. It was so normal now, expected even. You'd known Jason separately from redhood for a while. One night, he couldn’t be bothered to go home and change just to keep his alter ego in hiding. You'd freaked out at the supposed stranger in your house before he took off the mask. And then it just kept happening.

Tonight was no different. In fact, if he hadn't shown up, you would've been concerned considering his recent consistency.

He grumbled some obscenities at the curtains that had gotten caught around him once again with the help of a gust of wind from the open window. Then once he'd escaped he stared down at the welcome mat you'd placed under the window, an amused sigh escaping from under the deep red helmet that's so often hiding his face.

He guessed maybe you'd gotten tired of his boots dirtying the floor when he visited, but not tired of him.

He limped ever so slightly as he left his boots behind on the little mat you'd layed out, moving towards the couch and shedding his helmet and gloves once he got there. They were supposed to protect him, but his bloodied knuckles said otherwise. Later, it would make you question just how overboard he could get on anger alone. You'd supposed it wasn't quite a problem in your circumstance, Jason almost made too much of an effort to be gentle on your part. He settled into the couch, not feeling too ashamed to be the occasional freeloader.

You emerged from your bedroom, having heard him curse a couple of times on his way in. “You need somethin’?” You asked quietly, entering with a blanket still wrapped around you. Formal greetings were long gone between the two of you.

He looks up at you, eyes half lidded. “Food.” His tone is tired. He's happy to see your face, the first friendly one in a while. He wonders if eventually he might poison your sweet attitude towards him, just by being around you, like maybe you might realize he's horrible and broken and not so apologetic for his actions as red hood.

"Please?" You ask, wrapping your blanket tighter around you as you look at his pale blue eyes for a response. He smiles at your encouragement, muttering a quiet but gruff ‘please’

You left him to settle down, returning with a plate for him. Nothing special at this hour, a sandwich would do. "Thanks." He spoke, taking the plate from your hands and practically shoving half of the sandwich in his mouth, from what you could observe he hadn't eaten all day.

"No one's gonna take it from you Jay." he'd forgotten how long he'd been waiting to hear that nickname again.

Jason freezes, he mumbles something unintelligible with a full mouth, finally swallowing and clearing his throat before replying. "Yeah, well. You never know in this city."

You'd been settled beside him, picking up his red hood helmet and inspecting it. As he ate his food, you slipped it on yourself. At first, he was going to ask you to take it off, and he still might. But you looked oddly cute with it, accompanied by a small pajama set.

He visibly looked you up and down, placing the plate down on the coffee table. His usual frown had softened slightly along with a hint of amusement in his eyes. “Cute.” He finally mumbles, quiet as his eyes wander before meeting your own again.

"Really?" You ask, sort of encouraging, as if to tell him,'say that again.' He rolled his eyes at that, but his softened frown turned into a smirk pretty quickly. He shifted on the couch, pulling you to sit on his lap. His larger frame easily engulfed your smaller one as he held you.

One of his hands slowly traced the curve of your hip, sneaking under the hem of your sleep shorts just a little bit. “Yeah, really.” his eyes showed he meant it.

You reached both hands up to pull the helmet off, messing up your hair a little when you did so. “Things fucking uncomfortable.” You discarded it on the opposite side of the couch, enjoying your spot in his lap.

His hand moved to your hair, attempting to untangle a few pieces, pushing them away from your face. It eventually turned into a gentle caress of your cheek. “you looked cute though.” He teased, holding your hips gently and helping you straddle his lap, legs on either side of his thighs.

"What are you doing Jason?" You hadn't asked it like you were oblivious to his intentions or innocent. Just a sort of reality check, you'd been teetering on the edge of friends with benefits for a while. You were okay with letting him come and wind down and feel safe. You wanted him to be okay, but it was going to be rough if you only ever saw him during these times. Especially if you started really seeing each other.

He slung an arm around your waist, pulling you impossibly closer and keeping you in place on his lap. "What does it look like I'm doing?" He said above a soft whisper, but he couldn't possibly put your current situation into words. There wasn't ever going to be a good answer for what you had or would have with him.

"Blurring the lines?" You'd offered, even though you were absentmindedly doing the same, picking up his hand and running your fingers over his bruised and bloody knuckles.

He watched as your smaller hand held his own, his rough and battered knuckles meeting your soft skin. The contrast sent something through him, something he needed to feel more often. “maybe.” He mumbled in response. He'd tried to pull his hand away slowly. The feeling was nice, but something deeply rooted in his chest made him cringe at the way you were so soft on him, like he didn't need that treatment.

You'd noticed, telling him not to, by bringing that same hand up to your lips and leaving a soft kiss on each knuckle, your eyes not leaving his.

Jason swallowed hard at the continued soft feeling. There was a hint of something vulnerable in the usually stoic expression he wore. His lips parted slightly, trying to let out words that were caught in his throat, leaving an almost whimper in their place. He allowed his eyes to close for a second, his other hand gently exploring your thigh.

"Jay," you said quietly, as you dropped his hand and picked up the other, repeating the same actions. "You can come in here every night and blur the lines until there isn't any," you whispered, "but you better make some time to be something other than a visitor.” Jason's eyes moved with your lips as you spoke, tensing up underneath your warm body, his hand twitching at your careful touch. He swallowed again, his gaze continued to follow your lips, then back to your eyes.

His voice was a bit hoarse as he spoke. “I will.” His hands continued to rub up and down your thighs. You pushed yourself off of him. He'd almost let out a whine at the sudden lack of contact.

“go shower.” You mumbled, pressing your lips to his cheek. He sighed, reluctantly getting up.

“Bossy.” He mumbled in response, heading towards the bathroom, already pulling his shirt up as you relished in the sight of his muscular back. It was adorned in a couple of faded scars. You liked to trace your fingers over them in the darkness of your room.

"This is my house." You justified, beginning to walk back to your bedroom. You knew he would find you there when he was finished. He rolled his eyes even though you couldn't see it.

"Then maybe you should show some hospitality." He teased, his voice slightly muffled by the sound of the running water.

The hot water was no match for your soft touch, but it still felt soothing to his sore muscles. His mind, however, was still somewhat occupied with your earlier words, going back to the feeling of your lips against his knuckles and your weight on his lap, and how your thighs felt resting against his own.

He left the washroom with a pair of sweats on and his hair sending water droplets down his toned chest. Jason paused outside the bedroom door, his hand hovering over the handle for a brief moment before he slowly opened it. He could see your figure laying on the bed, still awake, a lamp casting the most flattering warm light across your skin.

You lifted the blanket up, patting the spot beside you. Most times, he would sleep on the couch or leave before morning. Because of course, the odd relationship between you two was complicated. Sure, he'd spent a few nights on and off in your room, only in times where the city streets had been truly horrible to him. But you'd offered… He took a few slow steps forward, approaching the bed and joining you under the covers, accepting your invitation.

"Much better." You told him, running a hand through his damp hair, you'd always loved the bleached streak amongst the dark waves. He let out a barely audible grumble, shivering involuntarily at the feeling of your fingers running through his hair. Jason shifted, turning to properly face you. One of his hands returning to his favourite spot on your hip.

"You gonna come over some time that isn't some odd hour of the night?" You asked, continuing the talk from earlier. "Maybe not leave before morning?”

Jason's grip on your hip tightened at the question, his eyes darting away for a brief moment before he looked at you again. His bottom lip caught between his teeth as he thought, shifting forward and resting against the crook of your neck, his lips gently pressing against your skin. "Maybe." He mumbled against your neck, almost as if to hide his face while his other hand continued tracing your body.

"I'm serious, Jay." You said, all but ignoring his hand grasping underneath your shirt."If this is all it's gonna be, it's not gonna be anything for much longer.”

His body shivered at those words, and he pushed himself farther into the crook of your neck, his breath fanning over your skin. He understood what you meant, and yet, admitting he did would make things so much more complicated. He liked the way you were with him now. He didn't need to change that. "I know." His words a whisper against the skin of your neck, his hand continuing to roam under the loose cotton of your sleep top.

"Next time I see you, better not be twelve at night in that goddamned mask." You said, holding onto his wrist, stopping his hand under your shirt so he would look at you.

He stilled again, letting you stop him. The beauty of your dynamic was the way he could rip his arm away in one action if he wanted to, but he would let you hold him down like this. He took in a sharp breath before sighing, lifting his head from your shoulder. His eyes met yours for the tenth time tonight. His blue stare held a guilty expression. "I'll try." He mumbled.

"You will." You agreed, dropping his wrist.

His eyes stayed locked onto yours, his expression still a mix of guilt and something foreign. He swallowed hard. "Promise." He whispered, his voice still hoarse. You nodded in acknowledgment at him, less serious now that the two of you had that talk.

His shoulders slumped, letting the tension of the discussion go. Easing upon seeing your approving nod. He very gently pulled your figure closer to him, muscular arms making contact with the small of your back. He rested his head on top of your own, burying his nose in your hair, taking in a now very recognizable scent.

It was his choice now, to return as Jason again. No red hood in sight. Through the door this time and not the window. You hadn't seen his old self in a long while. He knew either way he'd be welcomed with open arms, it was just a matter of what you were to each other.

[uluvjay]

Lessons- L. Sargeant

Logan Sargeant x Best friend! Reader

Request: Hiii Jay! I love your Logan smut. Please can you write more for him? I have a specific request but can you please write Logan teaching his best friend how to suck dick? with lots of praise of him telling her how good she is etc

Warnings?; Smut, oral, inexperienced reader, cursing, pet names, slight face fucking, i apologize for any errors!

Logan jumped at the sound of his front door opening and slamming shut quickly, his head whipping around to see who it was walking into his Florida home. He found you in a pretty dress but you looked embarrassed and the way you threw your bag down on his entryway table confirmed his suspicions.

He didn’t speak a word as you entered his kitchen and ravaged his cabinets until you found your favorite candy, making your way to the other side of his large couch with a huff and your head down.

“What’s wrong?” He asked softly noticing the tear tracks on your cheeks.

“I need your help.” You mumbled.

“What happened? Did someone do something to you?” He questioned quickly.

“Nobody did anything, well he said something but he didn’t physically do anything.” You spoke.

“Y/n you’re worrying me, what’s going on?” He asked again.

“I was on a date and the guy wanted head and I told him no.” You began.

“Okay..” logan trailed not sure where this conversation could go.

“and I said no because..well because I don’t know how to give someone head.” You spoke, cheeks burning hot with embarrassment at your admission.

“And you want me help?” He questioned softly.

To others they’d be shocked with their best friend coming them for help with something with this but not logan, especially since he was the one to take your virginity on your eighteenth birthday.

“If you’re okay with it, you’re the only one I could ever trust with teaching me.” You spoke.

Logan would be lying if he said he didn’t feel himself growing hard at the sight of your doe eyes and pouted lip, he coughed slightly as he adjusted his shorts.

“I’ll help, as long as you’re comfortable with it.” He spoke, eyeing the way your thighs slowly rubbed together and you pulled your lip between your teeth.

“I-I’m okay with it.” You nodded as a deep blush blossomed on your cheeks.

Logan noticed the way your fingers reached for the skirt of your dress and began to pick and pull at the threat, something you did when you got anxious.

“Come here pretty girl.” He spoke up, beckoning you his way with a finger.

You stood on shaky legs as you made your way to stand between his legs.

“On your knees for me.” He spoke softly as he placed a throw pillow down for your knees.

Nerves filled your chest as you did as he said, knees coming into contact you looked up to find his light eyes darkened with lust but looking at you with nothing but care.

“Good girl, now I need you to take it out.”

You nodded as you reached for the waistband of his workout shorts, sitting up high on your knees you pulled at the material as he lifted his lips to help you get them down.

You bit your lip as his bulge was revealed, his hard cock pressing against the confines of his black boxers, desperately seeking a release.

You reached for his boxers next, taking a deep breath before you pulled them down. Logan smirked at the gasp that escaped you once you caught sight of his hard cock.

While it wasn’t the first time you’ve seen it, it had been a long time and you’d forgotten just how thick he actually was.

“Logan are you sure I can take it?” You asked worried, looking up at the boy.

Logan did his best not to moan at your words but there was no hiding the way his cock twitched at them.

“We made it fit last time didn’t we?”

You blushed at his words as the memories of the last time you two had been together came rushing in, the way he took his time and fucked you until you had tears streaming down your face and your legs were numb.

That was his birthday last year, you’d spent the dinner by his side and when you returned home he opened the expensive bottle of wine gifted from his team and one thing lead to another in the comfort of his bed.

“Spit in your hand and move it up and down.” He instructed. “Just like that, so good baby.” He groaned as your warm hand wrapped around his swollen cock, moving slow and firm.

You admired the brunette from your spot between his knees, watching as every movement of your hand drew small whimpers and groans deep from his throat.

Logan’s eyes quickly shot open at the feeling of your tongue leaving kitten licks at the tip of his cock, a moan coming from you at the taste of his precum.

“That’s it baby, put it in your mouth for me.”

You did as he said opening your mouth wide and slowly sliding his cock inside your mouth, taking him little by little.

Logan’s fingers gripped the couch below him as he takes in the feeling of your hot wet mouth, a growl coming from his as the sounds of your gags fill his living room.

“Take your time and breathe through your nose.” Logan speaks, a hand tangling into your hair to keep you where you are.

You listen to him and exhale a deep breath through your nose before opening your jaw even wider and sliding down until your nose his the hairs resting at the base of his cock.

“Such a good girl, fuck.” He sighed as you moved back up the length of his cock, tongue tracing the vein that ran along the bottom side of his cock.

He pushed back the few strands of hair that had fallen into your face as the sounds of your gargling filled the air. His eyes were locked on you as you slowly moved your mouth on his cock.

“A little faster baby, you’re doing so well.” He shivered as you quickly listened and soon your hand was joining your mouth as your head bobbed.

Logan threw his head back at the sensation, his hands pulling hard on your roots as he felt his abs clenching.

“You’re incredible, shit, so good.” He babbled as his eyes locked with yours.

His stomach clenched as he watched you pull your mouth off his cock completely, a smirk taking over your face as you leaned down to place kissed all along his shaft.

“Oh fuck me” he breathed.

You let out a giggle at his words before you took him back into your mouth, his thick shaft heavy against your tongue as his tip hit the back of your throat.

With a wide jaw you took him down your throat once again, basking in the way his deep groan filled the room and his head fell back.

You resumed your earlier pace, bobbing your head while your tongue ran all along the underside of his shaft, paying extra attention to the pretty veins that ran along his cock.

“Shit, can I fuck your face baby? Please, I’m so close” he groaned.

You let out a hum of agreement and you swore you’re never heard him cheer like that before.

“Tap my thigh if you need air.” He spoke and before you knew it his hands were directing your head up and down on his cock as his thighs bucked slightly.

Deep whimpers and sighs floating through his lavish living room, you could tell he was getting close as his sounds got higher and his thrusts got wilder.

“Oh fuck, such a good girl letting me fuck your face like this. I’m so close.” He cried.

The sounds of your Gags egged him on as he continued to fuck your throat, your saliva had soaked his lap and the cushion below him but he couldn’t find it in himself to care.

You choked as his hips stuttered a deep moan filling the room as he held your head in place. The feeling of his cock twitching on your tongue while his cum filled your mouth had your thighs rubbing together in the dirtiest of ways.

“Fuck, you don’t have to swall-“ Logan’s heart stuttered as he felt you swallow around him and slowly pull off of him.

He swore he could go again as he took in the sight below him, your perfect makeup was now ruined, mascara running down your face while your lipstick was smudged and had no doubt left a ring around his cock.

“Did I do good?”

Logan cursed under his breath at the scratch in your voice he reached down for your hands to guide you into his lap, not caring to tuck his cock away.

“You did amazing baby, you were such a good girl for me.” He smiled at you pulling you in for a kiss but frowning when you pulled back before his lips could touch yours.

“What’s wrong?”

“You came in my mouth..are you sure you wanna taste that?” You mumbled shyly.

Logan didn’t give you a vocal reply, instead pulling you down and slipping his tongue into your mouth. His lips moved against your softly while his hands ran along your body groping softly at the softness of your ass.

The brunette only pulled away when he felt you slowly grind down on his hardening cock, “You need some help sweetheart?” He smirked at the blush that blossomed on your cheeks.

“Only if you want.” You shrugged.

“Trust me, I really fucking want to.” He smirked before laying you down on the couch and moving his head between your thighs.

_

[dazzlingjaeyun]

𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐮𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩 (𝐡𝐲𝐮𝐧𝐠 𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞 𝐝𝐫𝐚𝐛𝐛𝐥𝐞𝐬)

situationship!hyung line x fem!reader

genre: angst

warnings: suggestive, they're basically just toxic and lowkey (highkey) mean smh, jealous!hoon

word count: between 500-680 words per member

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- ', lee heeseung ; 496 words ꒱ ↷

heeseung always told you not to worry about her.

the way he said it, so casual, so dismissive, made you feel small every time. as if your feelings were insignificant, like your concerns were nothing but a byproduct of your own insecurity.

tonight was no different. he’d spent most of the party talking to her – the girl he always swore was "just a friend." you watched as they laughed together, heads close, his hand lingering on her arm just a second too long. your stomach twisted, but you bit your tongue. it wasn’t the first time, and you knew it wouldn’t be the last.

when you finally found the courage to ask him about it later, as the party died down and the two of you stood alone in a dimly lit corner, his response was as predictable as it was infuriating.

“you’re overthinking this again,” he said, his voice low and calm, like he was trying to soothe a child. “i told you, there’s nothing between us.”

you crossed your arms, the weight of everything unsaid pressing on your chest. “you’re always with her, heeseung. you never act like that with me.”

he sighed, running a hand through his hair, looking more exasperated than guilty. “we’re not even dating,” he shot back, eyes narrowing as if you were the unreasonable one. “i don’t know why you’re making this a big deal. you knew that from the start.”

the words cut deep, sharper than you expected. he was right, technically. you were never officially anything, never put a label on whatever this was. but that didn’t stop the jealousy from eating away at you, or the way your heart sank every time he chose her over you.

“so, what?” you asked, voice shaking despite your best efforts to sound strong. “i’m not allowed to feel anything? i’m not allowed to care when you spend all your time with her?”

heeseung stepped closer, his fingers wrapping around your wrist – not tight, but firm enough to make sure you wouldn’t walk away. “i’m not with her, okay? stop imagining things. you always do this, blowing everything out of proportion.”

you shook your head, yanking your wrist free, your chest heaving with the weight of his words. “but you are always with her, heeseung. i’m not imagining that.”

for a moment, something flickered in his eyes – guilt, maybe, or hesitation – but just as quickly, it was gone. he shrugged, and the indifference in his expression shattered whatever hope you’d been clinging to. “you don’t have to stay, you know,” he said, voice ever so soft – a sharp contrast to the cruelty of his words. “we never promised anything to each other. if you don’t like it, you can leave.”

the silence that followed was deafening. heeseung watched you, arms crossed like he was daring you to go, daring you to make a choice.

but it wasn’t that simple. it never was.

and you hated that, despite everything, you stayed.

other members under the cut!

- ', park jongseong ; 684 words ꒱ ↷

you had almost forgotten what it felt like to see jay’s name light up your phone. it had been weeks since he left you on read, a silence that gnawed at your insides until you convinced yourself that you were done waiting. but the moment you opened the message, your heart raced.

hey, you up?

you hesitated, fingers hovering over the screen before typing back.

sure

when he arrived, his casual demeanor filled the room, a smirk playing at the corners of his mouth. “hey,” he said, leaning against the wall, arms crossed. “missed you.”

“missed me?” you echoed, trying to keep your tone light even as memories of his absence washed over you. “you didn’t even text...”

he stepped closer, his eyes softening as he watched you. “i know. i’m sorry for dropping off the map. life got crazy. but i’m here now. can we just forget about that?”

you felt your heart flutter at his words, yet a cautious part of you hesitated. it had been so long since you’d last spoken. still, you found yourself leaning into him as he drew closer, a familiar warmth radiating between you.

without thinking, jay closed the gap and cupped your face in his hands, tilting your chin up to meet his gaze. “can i?” he asked softly, his eyes searching yours for permission.

you swallowed, uncertainty flashing through your mind. but before you could respond, he leaned in and pressed his lips against yours, igniting a spark that sent warmth coursing through your body. the kiss was sweet and intoxicating, melting away your doubts as you lost yourself in him.

your hands found their way to his hair, pulling him closer as you surrendered to the moment. the world around you seemed to fade as he deepened the kiss.

his hands roamed down your sides, fingertips brushing against your skin, igniting a rush of heat. you felt a thrill at first, but then an unease crept in when he attempted to lift your shirt. that familiar warmth faded, replaced by a gnawing thought.

you pulled back slightly, breathless and searching his eyes. “wait, jay…”

“what?” he murmured, his voice low and husky, still caught up in the moment.

“were you… while you were away, were you with someone else?” you blurted out, vulnerability creeping into your voice.

jay’s expression shifted instantly, irritation replacing the softness that had just been there. “seriously? you’re going to ruin this moment with your overthinking?”

“i’m just asking,” you protested, feeling the warmth of the moment evaporate. “you’ve been gone for weeks. what was i supposed to think?”

“you’re overreacting,” he shot back, frustration lacing his words. “i told you, life gets busy. i didn’t have time for you. but you know i like you. can’t that be enough?”

“so, i’m just supposed to accept that?” you replied, your heart sinking as the sweet connection you’d felt moments ago felt tainted now. “you show up after weeks of silence and expect everything to be fine?”

jay’s demeanor shifted even more, annoyance replacing the previous sweetness in his voice. “you know what? maybe you should just stop expecting so much. it’s not like we’re a thing. you can’t play the victim every time i need space.”

“am i just supposed to just wait for you to come back whenever it’s convenient?” you shot back, anger rising. “this isn’t fair, jay. i thought we had... something.”

“something?” he scoffed, stepping back, creating distance that felt more comfortable for him. “you act like i owe you something just because we’re fucking. i didn’t ask you to wait around for me.”

the air between you thickened with tension, and the warmth you once felt began to feel suffocating.

“maybe i don’t want this anymore,” you said quietly, hoping to pierce through the walls he’d built around himself.

“then why don’t you walk away?” he shot back, a cruel smile forming on his lips. “i’m not forcing you to stay and i’m not chasing you around either, but you’re still here. if you really wanted to be gone, you’d have done it already.”

- ', sim jaeyun ; 668 words ꒱ ↷

the atmosphere was thick with unspoken tension as you stood in your dimly lit living room. you had been trying to move on, to enjoy yourself, but the moment you saw him leaning against your doorframe, eyes darker than the shadows around him, everything came flooding back.

“you didn’t call,” he said, voice low but laced with something sharp, an accusation that felt more like a challenge.

you shrugged, trying to appear unaffected, though his presence stirred something deep within. “didn’t think it mattered.”

“didn’t think it mattered?” he repeated, disbelief etched across his features. “it’s been weeks. you think just because we’re not dating means you can ghost me? that’s not how this works.”

he stepped closer, fingers brushing your arm, sending shivers down your spine. “of course it matters,” he muttered, his voice dripping with a possessiveness that made your heart race. “you’re mine.”

the words twisted in your chest, a fleeting warmth quickly replaced by cold reality. he never said more than that. mine – but never us. the possessiveness in his tone was suffocating, yet it wasn’t love. not the kind you craved, anyway.

“yours?” you echoed, bitterness creeping into your voice. “but i’m not enough to keep you.” the memory of him with other girls, laughing, flirting even, flooded your mind.

jake’s jaw tightened, but he didn’t deny it. he never did. his gaze flickered, a flash of something unrecognizable, but it was gone before you could grasp it.

“come on,” he said, leaning in closer, his breath warm against your skin. “don’t be dramatic. you know how this works. we have fun. it doesn’t have to mean anything more.”

“fun?” you shot back, anger sparking in your chest. “you find this fun? cause that’s not how i’d call it.”

he scoffed, the corner of his mouth quirking up in that infuriating smirk that always made your heart race. “then maybe you should stop expecting something that was never on the table. you’re making this complicated, and you know i hate complications.”

you crossed your arms, feeling the weight of his words. “and you think it’s my fault for not reaching out? maybe i thought you’d actually care if i was gone.”

“well, maybe i wouldn’t have had to think about it if you’d just called,” he replied, frustration spilling into his tone. “you don’t get to just disappear and expect me to act like everything’s fine.”

the tension escalated, and you felt a sting of betrayal rise within you. “you don’t care about how this affects me at all, do you?” you almost whispered, pain creeping into your voice.

“not really,” he replied, his honesty cutting deeper than you expected. “you should know by now that this is just... whatever. it’s nothing serious. you’re not the only one i’m seeing, and you should stop acting like you own me.”

without another word, you turned away, knowing he wouldn’t follow. he never stayed when it counted. you were tired of pretending you didn’t want more, of pretending that his words didn’t cut deep every time you heard them.

“you think you can just walk away?” he called after you, his tone shifting slightly, a mix of irritation and something else you couldn’t quite place.

“you don’t get to decide that for me, jake,” you replied, voice steady, though your heart raced. “cause newsflash – you don’t own me either.”

“that’s where you’re wrong,” he said, stepping forward, his expression hardening. “i do own you. you might not want to admit it, but you’re not going anywhere. not when you know you’d miss this. and you do know it.”

the truth hung heavy in the air, suffocating in its finality. he was right about one thing: deep down, you knew you wouldn’t easily let go, no matter how hard you tried. and as you walked away, the familiar ache settled in your chest – knowing he would never give you what you truly wanted, but somehow, you would always find yourself drawn back into his orbit.

- ', park sunghoon ; 629 words ꒱ ↷

sunghoon never wanted to be with you – not officially, at least. he made that painfully clear from the start. "no labels, no commitments," he had said, and you’d agreed, thinking you could handle it. but as time went on, the lines between what you were and what you weren’t started to blur.

you’d barely finished laughing at something your friend said when sunghoon appeared, eyes dark with barely restrained anger. he had been watching you all night, but it wasn’t until he saw you standing too close to another guy that he snapped. now, he was pulling you into the corner of the room, his grip on your wrist unrelenting.

“what the hell do you think you’re doing?” he demanded, voice low and sharp.

you blinked at him, incredulous. “talking. what does it look like?”

sunghoon’s jaw clenched, his eyes narrowing. “it looks like you were flirting.”

you laughed bitterly, yanking your arm free from his hold. “flirting? i was just talking to a friend, sunghoon. why do you even care? we’re not together, remember?”

that was always your go-to defense, the one truth that should have shielded you from this exact situation. but sunghoon didn’t back down. he never did.

“don’t act stupid,” he snapped, stepping closer until you were practically pressed against the wall. “i don’t need to put a label on this to make it clear. you’re mine. i don’t want other guys near you.”

your heart raced, frustration and confusion swirling inside you. “yours? you don’t even want to be with me. you’ve said that a hundred times. no relationship, no commitment. so why does it matter?”

his face hardened, a muscle in his jaw twitching as he stared at you, unblinking. “just because i don’t want to be tied down doesn’t mean i’m okay with you hanging around other guys.”

you shook your head, disbelief flooding through you. “do you even hear yourself? you can’t have it both ways, sunghoon. you don’t get to act possessive when you’ve made it clear this is nothing to you.”

he sighed, eyes still cold. “i never said this was nothing. i just don’t want all the... drama that comes with it. but you,” he stepped even closer, his voice dropping to a near whisper, “you don’t get to act like you’re free to do whatever you want. not when it comes to other guys.”

the hypocrisy of it all made your blood boil. “so, what? you can see whoever you want, keep me at arm’s length, but i’m not allowed to talk to another guy?”

sunghoon’s gaze darkened, his fingers curling into fists at his sides. “i’m not seeing anyone else,” he said, his voice tight. “but that’s not the point. the point is, i don’t want you with anyone else. it’s that simple.”

the 'simplicity' of it, the stark unfairness, made you want to scream. “and what do i get out of this?” you asked, voice shaking with pent-up emotion. “i’m not yours, sunghoon. you’ve said it yourself, over and over again. you don’t want anything real, and yet you expect me to just wait around while you keep doing this?”

his eyes flickered, something unreadable passing through them, but he stayed silent. he couldn’t answer that. he wouldn’t.

“exactly,” you muttered, shaking your head. “you want control without commitment. you don’t want to be with me, but you can’t stand the thought of someone else wanting me.”

his silence was deafening, the unspoken truth hanging heavy between you. he didn’t deny it. he never would. you were caught in his web, and he knew it. you could feel the weight of his possessiveness, like invisible chains tightening around you every time he pulled you back, refusing to let you go, but never offering anything more.

‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊ ♡ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙·̩̩̥͙*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ♡ ‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊

© dazzlingjaeyun, 2024. please do not copy.

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[explicit-tae]

Love You (Just A Little Too Much)

You're brought down memory lane and come face to face with someone you've completely forgotten about. @bloodline1632 @seokjinkismet @babycandy111 @minshookie29 @whipwhoops

Warning: smut, light yandere, teasing, sex toy usage, sub/dom, edging/orgasm denial, overstimulation, crying, restraints/bound, mentions of assault, manipulation, sadistic/masochistic tendencies, crying/sobbing, begging, slapping,

Word Count: 6.076

Valentine's Day Masterlist

“What’s on your mind?”

Your eyes blink at Jay, your boyfriend, and you could only offer a faint smile. “I don’t want to ruin dinner with my thoughts.” you reply. You drop your fork and grasp your glass of wine. 

Jay scoffs. “I can tell your head isn’t here,” he says. “Come on, tell me.”

You swallow your wine and lick your lips. “It’s Valentine’s Day.”

Jay raises a brow and leans in closer. He smirks. “So?” he murmurs. “I’m your boyfriend, you know. You can tell me what’s on your mind.”

Jay was correct - he was your boyfriend and someone you’ve grown close to for the last year. You were able to speak with him freely as if he was your best friend and it came naturally even if he was the opposite sex.

You sigh and nod your head. “You’re right.” you say. “I…haven’t talked to any of my friends in months. It’s like we all slowly just…”

“Grew apart?” Jay offers and when you nod, so does he. “I understand. What do you think happened?”

You shrug your shoulders. You’re unsure yourself of the reason. There wasn’t any bad blood between the four of you - there was nothing that could be done to a group of friends that has been established since middle school. You all managed to make it through High School and college without breaking apart. 

Sure, there were a few petty arguments, but nothing that lasted months - hell, not even a full week.

Not speaking with them collectively had you nervous, but you were all adults. You four lived separate adult lives, Jang-Mi having moved hours away to start a new job. Minji had gotten married and divorce all under three years and had chosen to distract herself with work while Mi-sun focused on raising her daughter on her lonesome.

“And you haven’t spoken to either of them on the phone?” Jay questions.

“No.” you shake your head. “Only through text messages, but even those seem dry. Maybe I’m just overreacting.” you shake your head and release a humorless laugh. “Sorry. Today is supposed to be about us.”

Jay shakes his head. He offers you his hand and you take it. His hands are always soft, you notice, softer than yours. He presses a kiss onto your hand, soft lips tickling your skin. “It is about us.” Jay murmurs. “Today is our anniversary,” he continues. “but you’re still the woman I love and if somethings on your mind, I want you to talk about it.”

You love Jay - and this was one of the many reasons why. He was caring - genuinely caring. He always puts your wants and needs far beyond his own. A year isn’t a long time to be together for most people, but for you it was. You couldn’t see yourself being with another man, not when Jay was amazing as he was.

You met Jay a year prior while out, having bumped into one another. Literally. You recall the way your phone went flying and you nearly fell onto the ground when a pair of arms caught you - said arms had let you go immediately when you regained your balance. “I-I didn’t mean to grab you it’s-” the stranger began. “I’m so sorry I should’ve been looking where I was going.” you apologized profusely.

You learned that his name was Jay and as an apology, he asked you out for coffee. The two of you hit it off easily as he was a nice person to talk to. He was funny as he was kind and in the short time that you’ve known him, it was as if you and he knew one another for years. 

Maybe Jay’s physical appearance helped a little - he was tall and fit. He dressed appropriately each time you and him met and he even offered to help you dress so the two of you matched for the occasion. His skin was the clearest you’ve ever seen on a man and appeared utterly glass and he had such perfect teeth.

It was hard in the beginning to be seen with Jay simply because of how beautiful he was, but he always made it known just how beautiful he thought you were and how much he appreciated you for being by his side. 

“So,” Jay offers you a toothy grin. “talk to me like I’m your friend and not your boyfriend.”

You do, a part of you feels terrible about doing this while at dinner with him, but Jay was an understanding person. He could tell your head was elsewhere.

You tell Jay about everything - how you rarely saw your friends face to face and how you couldn’t even remember the last time you all spoke on the phone. You wanted to be understanding because the four of you were adults now and didn’t need to spend every waking moment together - but a call wasn’t asking for much.

At the end of it all, Jay is nodding his head in agreement. He hasn’t spoken much and instead decided to allow you to vent all your pent up frustrations. 

“Felt good?” Jay snickers and you nod with a low grin. “I’m glad. I can’t excuse your friends' behaviors but I can try to see things from their point of view.”

You listen as Jay speaks. 

“We’re all adults going through our adult lives. Jang-Mi had moved so far away it’s hard to go back into the routine you two had when she was closer. I’m sure she works long hours.”

You nod your head with a sigh, your heart sinking as you begin to feel bad for thinking that your friends were leaving you behind.

“Mi-sun is a mother and it’s tough raising a child on your own. She just doesn't live for herself anymore. Minji probably buries herself into work to get her mind off of the divorce. It wasn’t an…easy one.”

You recall the amount of times Minji had called you throughout the last year about how ultimately, she was going to be left with nothing after the divorce - Jay had been there the entire time listening as you tried to console your friend.

“You’re right.” you pick up your wine glass and take a sip. “We’ve all been through…so much.”

Jay raises a brow. “What do you mean?”

You eye him for a moment. 

“I think it’s karma.” you shrug your shoulders. “We were terrible people in our youth.” you try to joke but you swallow thickly. “What we’re going through now is just what we deserve.”

Jay chuckles. “I’m sure it wasn’t that bad.” he takes a sip of his own wine. 

“Before I met you my life was going to shit. I couldn’t keep a job to save my life and…” there wasn’t a need to focus on what you were going through at that moment because Jay knew. “..you helped me. Sometimes I believe I don’t deserve you.”

“It’s Valentine’s Day, Y/N.” Jay sighs, but his lips stretch into a smile. “Don’t get too emotional on me.” he jokes. 

“I know…” you trail  off. “The divorce with Minji and how she had to work so hard  to get her life together. Jang-Mi left and got a new job hours away because of that scandal. Mi-sun had to raise a child all alone without any help that wasn’t us. I can’t sound crazy to believe our past actions had shaped our future.”

Jay is quiet as he hears you speak, so eerily silent that you glance away from him. “Or maybe I am crazy.” you murmur. “You aren’t.” Jay shakes his head. “Whatever…you  did in your past could have shaped the present. Truth is often stranger than fiction.” Jay grasps your hand into his own. “But you’re better now, Y/N. With me. You’ll never fall as long as I’m by your side.”

Jay gives you a smile that has your heart clenching.

The room is beautiful and you are positive that Jay put a lot of thought into decorating it for you. The amount of rose petals leading up to the bed was one gesture you loved, but also the candles that were lit. You pondered when he had time to do such a thing.

Jay wraps an arm around you and brings you closer to him. His lips are soft as they kiss along your neck.  “I love this color on you.” Jay compliments, his hand sliding your sides. “Black is lovely against your skin.”

Your body flushes at the compliment and you could only giggle, giddy at the way your heart jumps. Jay insisted on you wearing the lingerie - a black lace and mesh material that leaves little to the imagination. The stockings are high and stop mid thigh.

“I like this color on you.” you tell Jay. He’s dressed down from his suit from early. Now, he sports a silk, red robe that’s tightly loosely around him. His tan skin peaks from beneath it.

“Valentine’s Day is all about you. I want to make you feel good.” Jay kisses down your neck towards your collarbone, leaving slightly wet kisses. “I want to try something new.”

You weren’t sure what to expect when being told “something new”. You were laid onto the bed you share with Jay, his lips continuing to kiss down your body. His eyes flicker upwards at you and he offers a mischievous grin that has your legs quivering. 

“Something new” wasn't a robe tied tightly around your wrist and keeping you bound against your bed frame. You wouldn’t lie and say your body wasn’t filled with excitement - you and Jay never did this and sex was already enjoyable enough.

Jay licks his lips, his eyes meeting your curious ones. “You’re so beautiful. Always has been.” he murmurs, speaking aloud by himself. 

Jay forces your legs open, his hand wrapping more rope around your ankles that he then ties to the end of the bed frame. He proceeds to do the same thing to your free leg. 

“I can see how wet you are now.” Jay’s voice is deep and sultry, slowly consumed with his own lust. “You’ve always been the submissive type. The type to do whatever is asked of you.”

Jay’s hand trails teasingly up your leg, his fingertips feeling like feathers tickling your skin. 

Jay’s finger taps lightly at your clothed clit, smirking at you teasingly. His index forces itself through the mesh material and he slides it to the side. “So wet.” he murmurs. “Relax, baby. I have something you’d like.”

Your pussy clenches with anticipation and your eyes watch Jay get up from the bed. He goes to the side of the bed and appears to go through a bag. 

“I want you to feel good.” Jay says, turning towards you. Once more, your pussy clenches at the sight of the vibrator in the palm of his hand. “You’d let me, right?”

Hastily you nod your head, licking your lips with anticipation. 

Jay turns on the vibrator and it’s loud, the buzzing noise tingling through your ears. He places it on your thigh to tease you and it does so greatly. He slides it across your thigh closer and closer between your legs.

“Baby?” Jay hums, gently pressing the vibrator against your clit.  “There’s no lies between us, right?”

Your legs begin to shake at the vibrators pressure against your clit. “N-No.” you stutter out.

“Then you’d tell me what you and your friends did, right?” Jay questions, pressing the vibrator even harder against you.

You struggle against the rope restraints. “W-What are you talking about?” you sigh - more like a moan. Your stomach was bubbling and you couldn’t contain the rest of the moans releasing from your mouth. 

“Remember earlier…you said it must be karma why your lives have turned the way they did.” Jay begins to circle the vibrator against your clit. You’re so wet that it’s now fully coated in your sweet arousal. “Tell me what you’ve done that karma has come before you all?”

You aren’t sure what Jay is getting at and why he suddenly wanted to do this now. Your toes begin to curl.

Jay removes the vibrator from your swollen bud, his eyes dark with lust.  “Tell me.” he demands.

“I-I…nothing.” you shake your head, panting. Your lack of pleasure sends shock waves through your body. “Why are you-”

Your throat releases a shriek when the vibrator is brought back to your clit. Your eyes shut tightly as, once more, your thigh shakes. “Please-”

“You know,”Jay begins, circling the vibrator against you. “There’s four types of lies.”

“Jay…” the way you say his name causes his cock to jump in his pants. You’re full of lust and pleasure and he’s sure you’re not fully able to comprehend him.

“A white lie, a gray lie, a black lie and a red lie.” Jay continues. “A white lie is to first seek to help others. A gray lie is an in between; to partly help others and ourselves.”

Your toes begin to curl as Jay continues. 

“A black lie…” Jay trails off, his eyes boring into your face. Your eyes are clenched shut and you’re panting. “...is pure selfishness. Nothing is gained from others when a black lie is told and it is used to purely get the liar out of trouble.”

Jay removes the vibrator once more and this time you cry out in protest. Your eyes snap open, sadden as you peer at Jay.

“You’re such a whore, Y/N.” he chuckles cruely, his demeanor changed from the caring boyfriend of just an hour early. Your body yearns for him regardless of this act. “You’re about to cry.”

“I just wanna cum, Jay.” you murmur in defeat. 

“Yeah?” Jay comes closer to your face. “A red lie…” Jay places the vibrator against your clit, this time pressing the buttons on the side to increase the power. “...is done solely out of spite. Revenge. To harm others.”

Your eyes never leave his, even with the amount of blinking you’re doing to remain conscious. You’re groaning now, body shaking with pleasure. 

“Can you guess which one I am, baby?”

What?

“If you guess right, I’ll let you cum.”

Your breathing increases and the only thing you can think about is cumming. “W-White.”

“Wrong.” Jay turns off the vibrator, but keeps it against your clit. “Can you guess which type of liar you are?”

“Jay…” you shake  your head. This act was making you impatient. “Please-”

“Tell me, Y/N. If you’ve done nothing in your past, then why have you and your friends gone through such terrible karma?”

“This act you’re doing is too much, Jay.”

“What act?” Jay scoffs. “Since you don’t know, baby. You’re a black liar. You’re selfish and you’re deflecting from your own involvement in the past.”

Your eyebrows knit together. “Jay…that isn’t funny-”

The vibrator turns on once more, shocking you. 

“As for me, I’m a red liar. None of you recognized me.” Jay speaks in a tone - monotone like; narrative. “You didn’t recognize Jay. Minji didn’t recognize Jung-ho. Mi-sun didn’t recognize Jong-seok and Jang-Mi never recognized Ju-ho…”

Jung-ho.

Jong-seok.

Ju-ho.

Jay.

“Jay…?” your intentions aren’t to moan, but you cannot help it. Jay is pressing the vibrator with such pressure that even now in this unknown situation, you cannot help but want to cum hard. 

Just as you were about to cum, you cry out once more when the vibrator cuts off. You’re trembling, your wrist burning as the friction of the robe rubs against them.

“My name’s not Jay, Y/N. You know my name.”

Your eyes widen slowly. “Stop.” you plead with Jay. “It isn’t funny anymore…”

“I never told you a joke.” Jay scoffs. “Look at me and tell me you don’t remember who I am, Y/N.”

You swallow the lump in your throat as goosebumps begin to erupt onto your skin. Your heart is beating outside your chest and you wished Jay would flip the switch and return to the boyfriend you know and love.

“Look. At. Me.” Jay grits out each word with such venom, his cheerful personality long gone. “It’s been a decade since High School but have I truly changed that much, Y/N?”

You remain silent, your eyes remain on the man in front of you. 

“I had to change schools because of what your friends said I did.” Jay murmurs, and as the words hit your ears your eyes begin to widen. 

Mi-sun lifts her hand up and hums, tilting her head. “I think I want pink.” she says. “But a soft pink, not a hot one.”

Jang-Mi snorts.

Mi-sun raises a brow at Jang-Mi, but she doesn’t respond. 

“Like this one?” Minji asks after rummaging through her tote of beauty items. She holds up a bright pink color - taffy. 

Mi-sun nods with excitement. 

You sit and listen to the exchange, head in Jang-Mi’s lap.

You were all in Mi-sun’s room, a room that was overly pink, but neither of the girls in the friend group complained. Her walls were white, but her bed - a large queen size that sat in the middle of her room - had a bubblegum pink comforter set with matching pillows. While her floors were hardwood, the rugs inside of her room were round and flamingo colored. 

“So,” Jang-Mi starts. “What is this year's dare?”

You sighed deeply, ready to hear just what the hell your friends had planned for you this year.

Every year your group of friends would dare one another to do something - anything - at the start of the school year. It was a tradition, after all, spawning since primary school.

The year prior, Mi-sun had dared Minji to walk in the boys locker-room “accidentally” and shower just minutes before the boys were done with their practice. Minji was the daredevil of the group and accepted it without a problem - even if she did have a months worth of detention and had several boys profess their “undying love” for her.

While Minji’s dare were dare-devil like, Jang-Mi’s were spontaneous. Her dare the year prior was to smoke bomb the teacher lounge - that earned her two months of detention (thanks to her uncle being the principal).

“You,” Minji points to you. “And you,” she then points to Mi-sun. “Need to step it up. Jang-Mi and I always do the impulsive dares!”

You lick your lips. “My dare last year was pretty impulsive.”

It wasn’t. The dare you agreed upon was to egg the principal's car - you weren’t caught and maybe that’s what they were upset about. Your poor principal was going through it and his niece never appeared to care much.

Jang-Mi rolls her eyes and snickers. “Egging a car is pretty impulsive.” she says with a hint of sarcasm. 

“Okay, let’s start then.” Minji claps her hands together. “Jang-Mi, I dare you…” Minji hums, her mind wandering as to what she would possibly say. “It’s like we’ve done everything already.”

“We have.” Jang-mi looks down at you. “This year is about you and Mi-sun.”

Mi-sun finishes painting her right hand and she raises a brow. “No fair.”

“Too bad.” Jang-Mi smirks. 

“I agree.” Minji smiles wide. “We have to think of something good. So we’ll start tomorrow.”

Your stomach churns at the thought of them coming up with something impulsive - it was your last year of highschool after all.

Mi-sun rolls her eyes. “I’m not scared.” she snaps.

“I’m scared.” Mi-sun hisses, hands trembling with wide eyes.

“Pussy.” Jang-Mi giggles. 

There was a few minutes before class started and it was as if Jang-Mi and Minji were ready to start the day off with a bang. 

“It’s not like it’s that difficult.” Minji hisses. “Just go ahead and kiss him.”

“You dared her to kiss a professor.” you deadpan - but you’re glad this dare wasn’t yours. Minji and Jang-mi had claimed they hadn't come up with anything yet. 

The yet scares you.

Said professor walks by - Professor Song. He’s tall, dark brown hair with matching eyes. He’s young, only a few years older than those he is teaching and an obvious eye-candy for the female students. He nods his head and waves at a few students as he strolls pass and Jang-Mi proceeds to push Mi-sun forward.

You gulp. This dare was a risky one. It was just a kiss yes, but this was a kiss between someone that had authority. Professor Song could lose his job - and teaching career - if this went the wrong way. 

Professor Song hisses at the impact of Mi-sun knocking into him. His glasses are knocked off of his face and it drops onto the ground beside him. He lowers himself to grab it and Mi-sun bites her lip before doing the dare.

Mi-sun presses her lips against Professor Song’s. It was a quick peck, but it stuns the man nonetheless. He stumbles back a bit and before he could speak, Mi-sun is running down the hall to her classroom with Jang-Mi, Minji and you following close behind. Jang-Mi and Minji are laughing while you’re too bewildered to speak.

“That. Was. So. Humiliating!” Mi-sun hisses as she reaches the classroom. Class was about to start and her face was as red as a tomato. “I swear if I’m expelled-”

“Stop being so dramatic.” Minji shrugs it off. She reaches her desk - besides Mi-sun, and sits. 

“Uncle knows of our yearly dares.” Jang-mi assures. “He should be expecting this by now.”

You take your seat behind Jang-mi. 

“Now all that is left is our little Y/N.” Jang-Mi turns and offers a wide grin. “Aren’t you excited?”

No, but you wouldn’t cower before them. 

“Whatever.” you grunt.

Your teacher comes strutting in. He’s a short older man with a large gut - a beer gut you’re certain. His arms are as skinny as his legs and his face is similar to a skeleton. You never even see the man eat, but he always had a water bottle in his hands that smells of vodka when he opens it.

“Kim Mi-sun.” he calls as he slams down a black briefcase. “Office.” he says without looking at the body of students. He takes a seat at his desk and Mi-sun groans with annoyance.

“That was fast.” Minji giggles quietly. “It hasn’t even been ten minutes.”

“Fuck off.” Mi-sun hisses. She gathers her things and makes her way out of the classroom just as more students are scurrying inside. 

“Hey, Y/N.”

Your eyes lift to see the source of the greeting and you offer a small - very small and uninterested - smile to the boy seated a few desks in front of you. 

Jang-Mi watches the exchange and she turns her head to Minji. She wiggles her eyebrows and tilts her head to the boy. 

“Who’s that?” she mouths.

Jang-mi shrugs. “Not sure.” she mouths back. “Y’N’s dare.”

Minji furrows a brow, eyes shining with realization. She erupts in a fit of giggles that causes Jang-Mi to do the same. 

Your fingers twirl a piece of your hair as your eyes watch him a few seats away from you. Your ears catch the whispered conversation of your friends besides you. 

"When are you going to say something?" asks Mi-sun with a roll of her eyes. "The dare was a week ago."

Your gum pops dramatically after Mi-sun's question. You manage to roll your own eyes, but you don't take them off of him - Jung Hoseok. His cheeks are childishly chubby, he was tall, but thin - even for a senior in high school. He wore braces and you couldn't imagine him without them - they have been implanted in his teeth for years now. 

You were no fool to Jung Hoseok's crush on you. You noticed the side eyes he'd give you in class. When your eyes met his, his eyes would blink away, and his cheeks would turn to a deep crimson. It was cute, you thought, pathetically so. As did your friends. They would laugh each time they saw Hoseok looking at you, claiming that he was nothing but a lost, kicked puppy. You'd laugh along with them even if you did see the embarrassed look on his face. 

Your friends enjoyed teasing Hoseok so much that they thought it would be an amazing idea for you - his crush - to go along with the teasing. "Ask him out. Lead him on." suggested Mi-sun. "Then break his sad, pathetic heart." laughs Jang-Mi.

You thought about their request. You never spoke to Hoseok before and never had the reason or desire to. What you knew of Hoseok was that he was smart, not straight A smart like most, but he passed his classes. He wasn't popular when it came to friend groups and opted to stay to himself or a small set of friends. 

"Oh my..." Minji hums, she leans back into her chair and crosses her arms. She just cut her long, black locs to a sharp bob. The new appearance makes her much more intimidating. "...you like him." she declares.

"I do not." your eyes glance to Minji hurriedly. "I just...he's a loser."

Mi-sun giggles and agrees.

"I don't want to be associated with a loser." you reach into your uniform skirt pocket and remove a small tube of lipgloss. You proceed to coat your lips slowly with the glossy substance, eyes on Hoseok just in time for his eyes to meet yours. His eyes glance down to your lips - plump and coated - and his cheeks flush. 

Minji cackles, followed by Mi-sun and Jang-Mi. Hoseok's head snaps away and you know he's mentally cursing at himself.

"Look at him." Minji scoffs with a shake of her head, appearing to have pity for Hoseok. "He is a loser."

"Much the more reason to play with him." Jang-Mi singsongs. She was always the much more mischievous type in the friendship. She enjoyed playing tricks and pranks, no matter how cruel they were. Min-sun would be considered the "ditzy" one of the group, but she was just as mischievous as Jang-Mi, maybe even more.

You can feel their eyes on you now. Min-sun bats her eyelashes, cat-like eyes stabbing holes into you. Jang-Mi tilts her head impatiently awaiting your response while Minji does nothing but glare. 

"If you don't, I will." Jang-Mi smirks, and now you're shaking your head. Hoseok wasn't an asshole like the rest of the boys at this school. He didn't deserve whatever cruel prank Jang-Mi would surely throw his way. 

"I'll do it." you roll your eyes and laugh. You proceed to bite your lip. "I'm sure it'll be fun."

Fun it was. You started the following day, but you remained subtle. It would cause alarms to go off in Hoseok's mind if you casually strolled up to him and became flirtatious. You didn't want to scare him off - especially if Jang-Mi's words of Hoseok being a virgin rang true. You had a plan, instead. Hoseok and you shared multiple classes and in each one, you would offer him a small smile. Your smile soon became a short wave that he would return - after looking around to ensure you were indeed waving at him and not someone else. 

Minji had grown bored of the slow burn happening before her. When you had strolled into class and ready to sit at your desk, she had slammed her foot against your chair and shook her head. She jerks her head to the side, and you follow her gaze - a desk directly next to Hoseok remains empty. 

You took a deep breath and nodded. 

You drop your bag at your new desk, startling the box next to you. His eyes slowly reached to who was beside him. His eyes catch your legs, smooth and seemingly soft. He drags them forward slowly until they notice your eyes. He freezes, heart thumping outside his chest. 

"Is this seat taken?" you ask lowly, a smirk forming on your glossy lips. 

Hoseok shakes his head but remains quiet. His palms grow sweaty, and he's worried suddenly if he remembered to wear deodorant. 

You sit beside him, eyes glancing to Minji who raises a brow at you, nodding her head. You weren't going to be able to go back to your regular seat until you did something to get closer to Hoseok.

Class starts and you go without speaking with Hoseok, even if you do notice his eyes glancing your way every few minutes. However, you understood your part in this assignment. You'd accidentally - purposely - would brush your knee on his and apologize with a cute smile. You'd proceed to lean closer towards him so your side would briefly touch his.

Hoseok's mind was going crazy the following weeks. You continued to sit beside him day by day. Your touching now was much less subtle and he's unsure of what to take of it. You never appeared to be interested in him before. He was no idiot - he was certain you caught on to his crush on you. Maybe that's why - you pitied him and his pathetic crush.

"H-huh?" Hoseok blinks a few times and shakes his head. His cheeks are tinted red with further embarrassment.

"I said," you grasp your bag and lean forward. The bell rang and it was time for lunch, but Hoseok was far too in his thoughts to notice. "do you want to come home with me?"

Your breast peaked through the uniform top and Hoseok nearly fainted at your words. He's tongue tied and soon you're cackling. 

"To study for the test, silly." you're laughing a melodic laugh that calms Hoseok's nerves. "I've seen your grades on the quizzes we had. You're so smart, Hoseok."

You think he's smart, Hosoek gulps.

"I wish I could be as smart as you." you sigh almost dramatically. 

"Y-you are....smart." Hoseok mentally shoots himself at the lame compliment.

"Thank you." you tilt your head. "So, what do you say?" 

Hoseok nods his head hesitantly. He understands that he'd want nothing more than to have you close to him. But, he couldn't be as desperate - he didn't want to scare you off. "I can come study." he murmurs lowly. 

You clap your hands together gleefully. "Thank you!"

Hoseok allows his heart shaped lips to smile at you. You looked beautiful when you were cheerful.

"We can walk home after school, okay?' you're walking backwards waiting for his response.

"Okay." Hoseok nods, heart beating outside his chest and goosebumps erupting the skin of his arm.

That was only the beginning of what happened with Hoseok - not Jay.

“Hoseok…?” you murmur, your eyes scanning his face while your mind compares it to the younger version of the man. Shame and humiliation runs through you - how could you not remember the boy; now a man?

“Ah, that’s what it took for you to remember me?” Hoseok begins to laugh, his beautiful teeth shining in front of you. “Mi-sun didn’t remember me either but she loved Jong-seok as the father of her daughter.” Hoseok shakes his head with a chuckle. 

Your blood runs cold at Hoseok’s words.

“Years ago…I remember her stating that I would never be someone she’d ever love…fuck…yet that child is mine and I don’t feel any remorse for leaving her alone and struggling.” Hoseok chuckles once more. “Ju-ho was the reason Jang-Mi had to find a new job hours away. Especially when it was revealed she was stealing from the company…”

“Hoseok, please-”

“Of course it was just a rumor but something like that doesn’t go lightly, Y/N. Her career was over and the only job willing to hire her after that…” Hoseok shrugs. “...and, Jung-ho was the one who introduced Mini to her cheating husband. He never took her seriously like she never took anything in others' lives seriously. What goes around comes around, I suppose.”

Hoseok wasn’t Jay - Jay was an act. Hoseok was cold; calculated. He strived off of revenge and spite; and the red robe he wore told you just how calculated the man truly was. 

“Hoseok…”

You’re unsure what you want to tell him. You never thought you’d see Hoseok again - much less like this. 

Hoseok tilts his head. “I didn’t tell them who I was, you know”? he admits. “I just left when my time was done.”

“Hoseok.”

“You are different, Y/N. You always were.” Hoseok presses the vibrator button and allows the pleasure to come back. “You felt remorse for what you’ve done. You admitted that I never assaulted you like your friends had said…but by then it was too late.”

Hoseok presses the buttons on the vibrator three more times and your back arches at the newfound pressure. 

“I had to change schools and only because you spoke up I wasn’t put on any registry.” Hoseok explains, his eyes fixed on how your pussy begins to leak with arousal. “Back then you pretended to like me. You allowed me to take you on dates and admit things I would never had the courage to if you never made me comfortable.”

“Please…” you pleaded, unable to talk more than one word at a time. “It’s too…much.”

“You can take it.” Hoseok grumbles, voice raspy. “You allowed me to hold your hand. You kissed me back. You…you liked it, Y/N. Only when you were caught did you back down.”

Hoseok knows you’re cumming. Your eyes roll to the back of your head and your breath hitches - and he enjoys every moment of it.

“To cover up the fact that you liked it, you pushed me away, remember?” Hoseok slams a hand against your cheek to regain your attention.

 You yelp aloud, a wave of pleasure going through you. “Y-Yes!”

“You were so humiliated…frightened at what your friends would think.” Hoseok slaps you again, positive that you like what he’s doing to  you. “But I knew you adored being around me, Y/N.I was the only person you didn’t have to pretend with.”

Hoseok removes the vibrator just as you cum, you arousal coating the bed sheets. The vibrating sound echoes through the room, mixed with your low sobs. 

“I thought about what punishment you all deserved but I could never bring myself to punish you.” Hoseok speaks after a moment. He allows you to catch your breath. “Even when I met you a year ago, Y/N, it felt like it did when we were in High School.”

You flinch when Hoseok touches your face. 

“You’re flinching as if I’d ever hurt you.” Hoseok shakes his head. “I got you out of your own debt, remember? I helped uplift you while your friends were going through their own karma. I did.” Hoseok speaks, each word his voice raises higher and higher. “Right?”

“Hoseok please-”

“Right?!”

You flinch once more at the shout. “Yes.” you respond meekly. “I-I didn’t mean to go that far with you.”

“I know, baby.” Hoseok discards the vibrator and places both hands onto your face. “I know,” he repeats. “That’s why I chose to forgive you and give you another chance. Now you and I could truly be together.”

Hoseok frightened you - deep  down you tell yourself that Jay was in there somewhere. A year of loving one another, there was never any slip up. Jay cared for you. He loved you unconditionally and put you before anything.

“Don’t look at me with those eyes, Y/N.” Hoseok sighs. “You’re not scared of me. You’re scared of the situation. I would never hurt you or I would have already.”

That doesn’t make your heart beat slow.

“You and I could be together again truthfully. We can continue to love one another.” Hoseok kisses along your face, the same feathery kisses that Jay would give you. “No Mi-sun, no Jang-Mi, no Minji. Just you and I.” he speaks again, his lips pecking yours. “Right?”

Jay always loved you, but this was Hoseok and at the moment, Hoseok terrified you to the core. You were nothing without Jay and you allowed Jay to fully take care of you like he insisted.  

“Yes.” you nod, defeated and unsure of what to do. Your bound wrist hurt as did your ankles. 

“I love you, baby.” Hoseok pecks your lips once more, smiling into it.

You were sure Jay loved you, wherever inside Hoseok he was residing - and that fact was the only thing keeping you from crying further.

[ahalliance]

SURE WAS !! was active on tumblr yeah but mostly through reblogs n such, did most of my original posting about (c)beeduo on discord :D

thanks for the beeduo posting i just scrolled through your blog and took 10 million psychic damage . back in my day, i was also in the trenches……. takes a puff of my cigar

JAY WAIT I JUST WOKE UP U WERE IN THE BEEDUO TRENCHES AS WELL? wow what a small world. on tumblr or elsewhere?

[roblox-yaoi]

WE MADE IT! WE MADE IT! JODD FANS (3) REJOICE! SHOUT FROM THE ROOFTOPS!!

[thinemoonshine]

⋆𐙚₊ 𝔂𝐨𝐮, 𝗮 𝓵𝐮𝐜𝐢𝐝 𝓭𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦 ˚⊹♡

good boy!jay x bad girl!reader content: fluff(?), angst, suggestive (not really tho), kisses, reader and jay both fall but jay falls harder—like, he's down bad, (y/n) is a bad influence but not mean, jay’s obsessed type: oneshot word count: 2.2k

inspired by enhypen’s track, ‘blind’

˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚ synopsis: in which jay will do whatever it takes to win her heart—even if it means ruining himself ˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚

jongseong is the human embodiment of good. he’s discipline. he’s a gentleman. he’s everything nice. and he took pride in that, he enjoys being the warm, friendly guy who everyone sees as a welcoming haven. sure, it gets tiring sometimes and people can be a bit unappreciative—but at the end of the day, it’s just in him to be kind.

so when he saw a girl all bruised and battered sitting against the wall of their uni’s entrance one rainy evening, he expected himself to lend a hand—offering to bring her to his home for a little emergency first aid since she was adamant against the hospital.

but what he didn’t expect is to fall for her so quickly, so intensely, over the course of a few days of her staying at his house. in fact, his house feels more homey and lovable with (y/n) around—even with the occasional clothes strewn around or the scent of strawberries and cigarettes that linger around her.

so when she disappears unannounced one day, leaving only a note saying that she’ll ‘make sure to pay him back for his help,’ he finds himself losing his mind. a multitude of emotions in a constant turbulence as his senses are numbed for everything but the ache to feel the remnants of her.

it was tolerable at first—her sweet and smoky scent still lingering in his home, her clutter in the guest room still carrying her presence and the snacks that he bought for her being in the fridge and pantry deserving as a constant reminder of how she truly enjoyed her stay with him.

he could still see her, her smiles and twinkling eyes, and he could still hear her, her laughter and snores—for a moment, it seemed like she’s still with him.

but overtime, his memories of her molded into one another, creating blurry images and indistinguishable hues, her scent now gone and the objects that used to remind him of her— that remain untouched by him to retain that familiarity—just seem like…stuff.

and suddenly, everything is insufferable.

jay sobs into her pillow as he curls into himself, eyes red and jaw clenched tightly to quieten his woeful whimpers as he cries. it’s suffocating. his house is so big and spacious yet each and every room feels constricting. the walls and floors keep moving—all except the ones in her room.

“(y/n)…” he chokes out as he clutches the envelope of cash tighter against his chest. (y/n) kept her promise though—never missing her weekly payback to him but she never comes. just a fixed amount of cash stuffed into a plain white envelope sent to him and just torturing him with her absence.

still, the fact that she still holds him in her mind offer him comfort.

‘she hasn’t forgotten me,’ he thinks as he weakly flutters his heavy, puffy eyelids open. he sits up slowly, feeling cold all of a sudden as air blows onto the wet patch on his cheek from his own salty tears and he stares at the white sheet in his hand.

‘i’ll find you, (y/n). and this time, i won’t let you go.’

—

(y/n) stares up at the dark, plain canvas above, saddened by the fact that no stars are there to light it up. but she quickly digresses as her attention falls on her lit cigarette to inhale a puff.

she smoothly blows it out and watches as the fog dissipates before her eyes and taking in another. it feels…odd, to be just casually smoking without a care of her surroundings despite it being such a normal routine.

her experience staying in jay’s house seems to be internalized far deeper into her than she realizes considering how her habits there feel more normal than what she always does since long ago.

back in his house, she would always smoke out at his balcony and at the slightest sound that signals his approach, she’d kill the cig on its ashtray and wave her hand frantically to rid off any remaining puffs—not wanting him to inhale any.

so to be carefree now just feels iffy, as weird as it is. a heavy sigh escapes past (y/n)’s lips along with a long trail of smoke and she ends the cigarette before even finishing it. she has no appetite for it now.

hands in her leather jacket’s pockets, she then turns back into the club to return to her job of luring filthy rich men to spend more money and turning them into regulars. it’s a fun gig mostly, seeing that they’re usually narcissistic snobs thus, feeding their egos do the trick nicely but it’s risky too. once they realise that they’re in fact, not ‘special’ to her, they’ll fall into a tantrum. that’s what got her bruised up when jay found her.

“so, got any targets for me?” she asks the bartender who’s usually the one to keep an eye out for her next victim.

the worker points his chin to a man sitting in a bar booth alone, head facing away from them as he drinks from his wine glass. he’s apart from the dance floor, isolated from the lively section of the club where people usually sink themselves in when coming to a place like this.

(y/n)’s brows raise at his luxurious clothing—expensive fabric and suit that’s clearly tailored to him with every cut and edge accentuating his figure, colours and ornate accessories that are neither ostentatious nor humble and sparkly dress shoes that seem awfully brand new or just freshly polished.

the man exudes money. he probably smells just like it too.

“do you enjoy being a lone wolf? or would you not mind a little bit of company?” (y/n) starts slowly once she reaches the table. her voice sultry and yet relaxed, expressing interest but not coming off too desperate. a professional in her line of work.

the man stays silent for a moment before finally turning his head and the foxy smile the girl wears falls instantly.

“jay?” she shakily sounds, shock dripping from her tone. “what are you doing here?”

“i want to be. i’m a grown man capable of making his own decisions,” he casually says, a half-smile on his face as he lowers down his wine glass onto the table with precision, not making a single noise. “just like you, a grown woman capable of making her own choices—packing up and leaving me without so much of a proper goodbye.”

the girl flinches at his sharp tone. it’s acrimonious, accusatory but there’s not a single hint of malicious intent. instead, it’s more of deep-rooted hurt. a pained comment.

“i’m sorry. but it’s for the better,” she simply says, not wanting to drag the topic more than it should with the way her throat’s tightening—tears threatening to fall. “you should leave. it’s a weekday, go to your lecture or something.”

she turns on her heels, hasty, because she knows that every second spent with him will just weaken her resolve of rejecting him.

but she’s forced to a stop at his next words.

“i’m not studying anymore. thought it was useless considering i’m going to take over the family business anyways,” he casually says and bites back a triumphant grin when she swivels back to him with disbelief painted across her face.

“what?? but jay, your dream! you told me all about it—how you want to finish your studies and graduate, how you want to reach as high as you can before you’ll have to settle for the business. what about all that??” (y/n) rambles as the bewilderment grows.

he was so happy talking about it. she remembers it all so vividly, how he pictures himself in the future, how he has a list of things he wishes to achieve, how this mindset was created from the moment he gained consciousness over himself—to prove that he’s capable of more than what anyone has ever expected.

but now? he tells her that he’s stopped his degree? that he thinks it’s futile. who even is he?

“well, dreams change,” he begins and makes his way to stand in front of the girl. with a playful, almost sly grin stretched on his defined face, his hand reaches to hold her chin before lifting it up towards him. “mine did the moment i fell for you. although, it did take me a while to notice—needing you to leave me before it finally struck.”

the other says nothing—no, she can’t say anything. she doesn’t know what to say. her brain’s all muddled and figure turned to putty in his hand and the devious smirk he wears shows that he seems to be aware of it. and he takes pride in it, reveling at fact as he uses his other hand to brush her stray strands away from her face before kissing her forehead.

and they travel—down to her eyes, to her cheekbones, cheeks, nose and finally, her lips. he hovers slightly as he stares at them, mesmerized by the glossy pink and breathing deepening at the anticipation of the feeling.

he’s only ever dreamt of this moment, to be this close to her, even when she was still living with him. back then, she never let him come within her space. not in a way where she blatantly pushes him away or rejects every form of skinship. after all, they still cuddled during nights she felt lonely and he played with her hair every so often. but ishe simply retreated whenever she saw him approach her with a slightly different intent—when his eyes gazed at her with affection heavier than usual or when his gestures seemed more intimate despite having no significant difference than the ones before.

she sensed it whenever he tried to take a step forward, so she took a step back.

but now, here she is, with a proximity so dangerous, her almost pressed up against him, and their faces just mere inches away. a small nudge and they’ll crash into one another.

his chest heaves at the thought and scalp tingles. he’s getting impatient. inching himself closer, his gaze flickers to hers for a reaction and at the absence of rejection, he instantly closes the gap between them. a guttural sound rumbles through him as his arm snakes around her waist before pulling her taut against him—her arms reciprocating the gesture.

she gasps at the hardness of his bod, never before realising how built he is and he smirks, instantly darting his tongue between her teeth and groaning at her taste. the sweet sour taste of wine mixed with her smokey cigar, dominates their taste buds and jay moans with pure gratification. he’s never tasted such a delicacy before. he craves for more.

he pulls away to give her the breaths she very much needs but doesn’t loosen his grip, simply letting her collect herself as she clings close. his gaze never leaves her face, tracing her every feature and etching them into his mind as his hand caresses soothingly on her cheek. his touch is searing, warmth seeping into her flesh and bones, melting her even further.

the familiar scent of strawberries and cigarettes fills his nose and his eyes roll to the back of his head before they shut. he shudders as her presence subjugates his senses and he presses a small kiss on her crown to assuage his urge to consume her right where she stands.

he digs his face into her hair, drowning himself in her scent as he whimpers words of gratitude like a mantra, tears lining the rims of his shut eyes. the realisation of finally having her back in his arms is real. not just another one of his fantasies or a desperate plea but reality. her warmth, her touch, her voice, they’re all here. she’s here with him. and he’d rather perish than to ever let her slip through his fingers again.

who knew that spending barely a month without her could drive him insane? not him, not until now, at least. but (y/n) has always been the element of surprise for him.

"now, let's go back to our home, yeah?" jay says with a cadence so saccharine that (y/n) feels an instant sense of longing and her arms subconsciously tighten around him, making his heart skip miles per second. "but before that, how about we get those pretty nails of yours done? i booked you an appointment at your favourite salon. you can get that set you've been telling me all about last time, hm?"

the girl pulls away as she casts her scrutinizing stare onto his face, searching for any sort of falsity or falter in his facade but all she sees is pure, unrestrained affection oozing from his tender countenance—a man truly enamoured and it's seen by every single soul in the room.

jay's underlying anxiousness settles once he sees her finally, relax her shoulders and cave to his allures and he once again, pulls her against his chest—hand running up and down her back as he quietly revels in his victory while his lips peppers loving kisses onto her knuckles, spending longer on her ring finger as he envisions a shiny band wrapped beautifully around it.

sure, his decisions go against everything he's set for himself, everything his parents had expected of him. it requires him to rewrite himself in ways he never even thought of, to reconstruct the foundation of his beliefs and understanding of perfection as he knows it—but it's all worth it.

for (y/n), anything and everything is worth it.

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ bambi (heeseung ver.), puppy boy (jaeyun ver.), skater boy (sunghoon ver.)

𝜗𝜚 disclaimer: i do not condone any reckless behaviour portrayed in this work. this is entirely fiction and does not depict the member's real personality. if you enjoyed it, don’t forget to leave a heart and reblog—they give me some motivation, ya know? but please do not spam like!! X♡X♡, romi ⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

copyright © 2024 thinemoonshine all rights reserved

[yuvany]

IN YOUR ARMS AGAIN (PJS - 박종성)

001. precis - the brutality of life is something unable to cut the ties between people who love. Your life tumbles but you always get back on your feet, but will you this time? 002. contains - enhypen fiance! jay park x reader, angst, female reader, injuries, car crash , partiallyproofread, : 2.4k

yuyu-note : I wish I could've made it better, but I just don't have time to do so, but I hope you'll still enjoy it !!

reblogs + feedback always appreciated !!

WHY DID EVERYTHING GO SO WRONG? You had found yourself dressed in a white gown, laying down in what seemed to be a hospital bed with even whiter walls enclosing you. It felt like there was more than enough room, making you feel almost agoraphobic and sultry. Your head ached tremendously, and the noticible smell of cardboard from the hospital just added onto your discomfort, and your hands were clampy, of course. Wiping your palms on the sheets, you saw a nurse pass by the creaked open door, and you attempted to call out, but nothing seemed to vocalise, only a small, emarrasing squeak. You desperately tried to catch someone's attention, but all they did was to rush left and right, but never into your room. Noticing that your efforts were to no avail, you just gave up and plumped your head back onto the pillow that was as thin as a leaf, but feeling like a rock, further aggrevating the pulsing in your head.

A faint knock was audible from the left side of your bed, and you turned your head through the sharp pain. "Hello, seems like you're finally awake...y/n." It took the seemingly young lady to figure that out, and even longer for your name until she looked at her clip board. You remained quiet, not wanting to strain the litte, precious voice you still had. "Will you answer?" Her head tilted to the side. "You can't speak?" She continued to interrogate you until you finally nodded your head, and she relieved a sigh. "I'll go see what pills we have." Then she disappeared again, you could only hope that she'd return after at least two hours, but by then, your headache might just disappear, finding pity in your agony.

As you looked out the big window, you realised that it was already dark. The trees losing it's once green coverage that now decided to dance with the wind instead, and leaving the static tree alone, and admist the rest. The transition from summer to winter would always facsinate you. It reminded you of a certain someone, but the memory of him was blurry, like he stood in mist. You tried to recall his face but it only left your mind blank for a minute or two. You knew him in the back of your mind, but trying to remember him was more of a struggle than a reward. It hurts not knowing, and it hurts even more realising that you might've forgotten someone important. You clutched the ends of the covers and harshly pulled them over your head, wanting to drift back to sleep.

"DO YOU THINK SHE'S IN A COMA AGAIN?" The sound of muffled conversations woke you up. What did they mean by coma? You slowly opened your eyes, being attacked by the cool, bright lights of the room. "Oh look, she is awake." The same female nurse from before commented, pointing her pen right at you with a shocked expression. You managed to let out a low hum as you looked at the many faces surrounding you. "Miss l/n, are you still unable to talk?" The older looking male beside the female asked. He must be the doctor. At least now you knew that the girl was doing her job properly, taking care of you. "Good morning..." You choked out. "Good morning, thank goodness you woke up from that incident, it was a rough one-" Their conversations started to blur out, too much coming at you at once. "Will you tell us what you remember?" He asked, and you shrugged. "I don't know."

They informed you that the girl from earlier, named Bora, would guide you around the hospital and be your caretaker. While being with her, you learnt quite a lot about her, she was just a little older than you, very closed off, but also very caring if you really thought about it. "Take your time to remember, there is no rush." You nodded your head, just wanting to return to dream land.

The restaurant left like a haze, the many people seemed to be walking in slow motion, then speed up, and repeat the cycle, and their voices - the voices were just overstimulating, like they were judging you for some reason, looking down on you as if you were deserving of what had landed you in the hospital. "Calm down. Let's go get something to eat." It was a cold hand that touched your back, you turned your head and saw the black pony tail, her face neutral as she guided you over to a table. You did not reply as you were still very much distracted by your surroundings.

At the table, the nurse comes back and she is speaking, and you wished you were able to read lips because right now, you could not decipher her words. It was as if you were just looking at her, a wall that she was speaking to. "What happened to me...?" You mumble, and she stops abruptly. "You don't remember?" Her eyebrows are knitted in confusion and you shake your head. Silence is shared between the two of you before you answer her, "I know nothing of what happened to me! I just know that my head hurt so damn much and that I've forgotten something important, but I don't know what, and no one in this stupid hospital is helping!"

"i'm not allowed to tell you this but you got caught in a car accident., and he was with you" Bora handed you a cup of something, her voice soft as she whispered that piece of information. "Wait, who's he?" Your pulse quickened at the mention of someoen else. "Jay." Her voice sounded sad, and the name unlocked something in your memory. "Why aren't you allowed to tell me this?" You asked, curious as to why the doctors would keep things hidden from you. "It's protocol. I suppose knowing could make you go crazy.

After letting this sink in, you were silent, and only tossed and played with your food. "I shouldn't have told you that, y/n..." Your caretaker whispered to herself, and you caught that just faintly. "No, I should be knowing that." You snarled back at her unexpectantly. You felt angry at not knowing this any sooner, and even more aggravated when you fugured that you hadn't heard or seen Jay anywhere. "Where is he now?" You asked, waiting for an answer. "I'm not allowed to tell you. "Alright, fine!" The chair flew back a bit as you rose from your chair and rushed out the cafeteria and to your room.

It was only in there that you felt safe and sound from your sudden outburst, and where you would let your tears seep into the pillow. Everyone seemed to disappoint you, and you've had enough. You felt like an idiot, a clown. You could only hear your own sniffles as you pulled the covers over your head and slowly drifted off to sleep.

IT SEEMED THAT PAIN WAS YOUR SHADOW. Not only did life seem dark and gloomy, but while asleep, you only saw terror. You were shouting at someone. You were going back and forth with the man, your heart ached just witnessing this. "You shuould've talked to me about this before you made that decision!" You shouted at the man. "I was going to tell you after. You just didn't let me finish!" He called back, "I don't think that plan will go well, trust me, Jay." You pleaded, not knowing what you were saying, your mouth rambling on its own. "y/n, I hate arguing like this with you. Can we do this later? We'll come late to the avenue." He sighed, walking away from you.

Now you're unsure what is going on, but you see that you're in a car and the air is tense. The one driving had sharp features adoring his face in a way that makes him seem soft and vulnurable in some way, but it quickly shifted to a frown as his hands clutched onto the steering wheel. You hated this, you knew that he hated you and you don't remember the exact reason. "y/n, talk to me." His voice sounded hoarse and thick with burden, and you involuntarily opened yoru mouth to say, "Jay-" but then a snap echoed and you found yourself on the ground with a force leaning above you. Jay. The scene left you shook, even though it was a dream, you felt a stinging pain pulse in your legs and arms, the migrane worseing as you had difficulties making out what exactly happened. You just knew that there were people surrounding you two, their voices washing out in the wave of police men shouting for them to get away. With the ounce of conciousness you had left, you pushed your way up, not bothering with the man just yet, because as you turned to look behind you, you saw the metal veichle consumed by flames.

You woke up in cold sweat coating your neck and forehead. You hand was shaking in your lap as the cold bed sheets rolled down and gathered at your hip. You breathing increased as you just remembered something important, and it was Jay. Where could he possibly be? You glanced up at the clock that steadily beat to its own rythm, showing that it was four in the morning. With a sigh, you climbed out of bed, the soles of your feet meeting the cool plastic floor as you rushed over to get your sandals and sneaked out of your room. You hoped no one would catch you because if they did, it'd be hard to explain why you were searching for a certain someone.

How could you possibly have forgotten Jay, your fiance, the man who was so close to being intertwined to you by love's boundless force. Even though everything seemed as if it was alright on the outisde, you couldn't shake the feeling of something being wrong.

The walk down the hallway felt infinite, and maybe it was your mind decieving you, or the tiredness taking over, but something in your gut felt twisted. You slowed down your steps as you looked at the nameplates that were temporarily hung up outside each door. It wasn't until you passed at least twenty, that you saw the familiar name, and you did not hesitate to storm inside.

On the bed, you saw a figure laying underneath the covers, and your eyes trailed up to his face. It was him. Those features were recognisable from a mile away, and he had been here with you all along. You walked closer to Jay, and let your fingers caress his cold cheek while he was asleep. "So you were here all along," you whispered lovingly to him, pulling the chair beside the bed closer for you to sit on. "I'm sorry..." you continued, retrieving your hand. It was only you and him now, the moonlight casting a soft glow over the pair. "Please, wake up, I miss you," you sighed out, your voice cracking a bit as you let a tear slip from the corner of your eye.

YOU DIDN'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED AFTERWARDS, but what you were aware of was that you had somehow fallen asleep that night with your upper body resting on his cushioned bed. Soft snores escaped your mouth and a pair of fingers softly nudging your side, urging you to wake up. "y/n?" The voice asked, and you slowly sat up right again. Your vision was blurry and you tried rubbing it away with your knuckles. "Jay?" You echoed back, and the instant feeling of a tight hug engulfing you confirmed your thought. "I didn't see you around the hospital. Where have you been?" You called out, pulling away from the hug. Jay's eyes looked around the room, and it was evident that he thought about it for a while. "The doctors wouldn't let me outside the room, babe." He said, and you sighed. "Well, do you think they'll let you out now?" You asked, hope filling your words as you wanted to spend more time with him. "We can always try." He shrugged. "Let's go!"

You took him to the cafeteria, taking one tray for the both of you. The kitchen staff gave you enough food for one portion, and you had to ask for extra. Under her breath, she grumpily complained about greediness. Ignoring her rant, you took his hand and walked over to the usual place where you sat. "Aren't you going to eat?" You asked, and he shook his head. "Just enjoy the food and eat well. I wish I could've made you something. If only we were at home." Jay sighed and looked out the window. "if you say so. We can always come later if you're hungry." You added, and took a sip of your drink.

From a distance, you spotted a fimiliar figure that approached you. "There you are, I've been looking for you the whole morning, y/n." Your caretaker said worringly with her arms crossed. "Don't worry about it, I was with Jay." Bora rose an eyebrow. "Jay?" Her voice had a slight hint of horror and you genstured to the seat opposite of you. "Yeah, Jay." She looked between the two of you and hummed. "Alright, just don't run off like that ever again. You'll get me fired." You giggled. "And return to your room for a check up after you're done hanging out with Jay." She said and turned away. "Well, she's nice, takes care of you." Jay mumbled more to himself.

The day seemed to run by smoother than before now that you had company, but something was still bothering you, and you wanted to tell him that, but you never had the opportunity to. All the fun moments made you forget your sorrows and worries. You and Jay walked around the hospital, venturing to the other floors and exploring new rooms, but soon, it was time for you to return to your own room. "Jay, I don't know when you're supposed to sleep, but I gotta go." You sounded like a teenager who had just gotten a boyfriend, but you didn't mind. Just knowing that you'd be able to see him tomorrow made you giddy. "Let me walk you there, yeah?" He said, his hand hooking with yours. "of course."

The walk was spent in comfortable silence with short conversations popping up here and there. Before you knew it, you stood outside your room. Jay guided you inside and put you to bed. "Sleep well, my love." He laid his palm across yoru cheek and you whispered a silent 'I love you' back. "Jay, I'm going to miss you." You said. "I'll miss you more. Dream of me and take care of yourself for me, I'll visit every day." He leaned down and pressed a kiss to your forehead. "You sound silly, we're in the same building." You said at his comment and added, "I can't wait to go home with you, I miss it." "i miss it too, but as long as I'm with you I feel at home." You felt captivated by the soft and contagious smile on his face. "Sweet dreams, Jay." You whispered.

From the threshold, the nurse and doctor sighed, discussing amongst themselves. "Sir, she's been talking to herself the whole day. Do we need to impliment a hallucination medication as well." Bora couldn't help but to feel bad for you. "This is normal after you lose someone dear to you. Trauma takes a great toll on your mind. I say wait a week and then we'll see." They continued to watch as you smiled at the empty air beside your bed with their hearts weighed down in their chests, looking at someone as hopeless as you in such an unfortunate state. "But she looks so happy. We can't just destory it for her. Why not let her believe he's still with her?" Bora asked, watching as you giggle and smiled like never before. "I wish we could, but once reality hits, she won't be happy for long."

TAGLIST: @wonsdoll @annyeojin @dollyhoon @itjengirl @saeivra @orimuraa

[hazelira]

tiny steps, warm hearts

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆ ᴖ̈ ⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆ ᴖ̈ ⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆ ᴖ̈ ⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆

As you sat your baby girl down on the plush couch in the lobby, you smiled at her, knowing how adorable she would look all bundled up for the cold. Jay stood nearby, holding the bags as you prepared her for the winter night. She was already kicking her tiny feet excitedly, her grabby hands reaching for anything within reach as you began dressing her.

First, you slipped on her tiny mittens, ensuring each little finger was snug. Then, you placed a soft beanie hat on her head, her baby hair sticking out slightly from underneath. Her giggle filled the room as you wrapped her up in a cute scarf, her chubby cheeks practically swallowed by the warm material. You couldn’t help but chuckle as you moved to her snow pants and tiny boots, ensuring her feet would stay warm on the snowy ground. Finally, you zipped her into her puffy jacket, adding the final touch—a hood that made her look like a tiny ball of fluff.

Jay leaned down next to you, his eyes softening at the sight of her all bundled up. His lips brushed your ear as he whispered, "She’s so cute."

You glanced back at him, the warmth in your chest swelling as you looked down at your daughter. "Yup, and she’s ours," you replied softly, squeezing her tiny hand as she tried to stand up on her wobbly legs. She could walk now, her baby steps hesitant but determined, her little feet making soft thuds against the floor as she found her balance.

Jay straightened up, his eyes never leaving your daughter as she slowly waddled toward him. She held onto your hand for support, her steps small and cautious at first, but soon, she grew more confident, taking one step after another with a proud little smile.

As you both made your way toward the door, your daughter’s eyes caught sight of the dogs lounging near the guards. Her face lit up with excitement, and before you could stop her, she tugged at your hand, pulling you toward them with surprising speed. "Whoa, slow down, sweetheart!" you laughed as you stumbled forward, trying to keep up with her tiny legs.

You bent down, gently turning her toward the dogs, watching her with curious eyes. "Say bye, doggy!" you encouraged, waving your hand slowly to demonstrate. "Sweetheart, say bye-bye!"

Your daughter’s eyes followed your movements, and though she couldn’t speak yet, she mimicked your wave with her little hand. Her toothless giggle filled the lobby as she enthusiastically waved at the dogs. The guards smiled, and even the dogs seemed to wag their tails at her eager goodbye.

Jay stood behind you, watching the entire scene unfold with an amused expression. His eyes softened as he saw your daughter waving goodbye, her tiny hand moving in the air as her giggles echoed through the room. He touched your shoulder, squeezing you as he whispered, "She’s growing up fast, isn’t she?"

You nodded, your heart swelling with a mix of pride and nostalgia. "Yeah, too fast," you murmured, watching her as she wobbled closer to the dogs, still waving as if they were old friends.

After a few more playful waves and giggles, you gently tugged her back toward the door. "Alright, time to go home, baby," you said, giving her a warm smile as you helped her balance her feet.

Jay held the door open for you, watching as you guided your daughter outside into the cold night air. She looked up at the snowy sky in wonder, her tiny breath puffing out in little clouds as she giggled again, her little hand clutching yours tightly.

As you made your way down the steps, her baby boots crunching softly in the snow, you couldn’t help but glance over at Jay. His eyes were fixed on the two of you, a rare warmth in his expression as he watched his family, his tough exterior momentarily forgotten in the presence of his little girl.

For a brief moment, everything felt perfect—just you, Jay, and your precious baby girl, making memories together one tiny step at a time.

[nyaskitten]

The thing I feel like most people just don't get about the Phantasm visions is they aren't JUST what the ninja are most afraid of, but they're exaggerations of their fears. The thing is, Lloyd HAS feared letting Wu down and endangering his students, Arin HAS feared letting his parents down or making them think he's abandoned them, and Sora HAS feared the idea of Beatrix or Ras finding their way back into her life. Nya's fear was likely just Jay leaving her behind, not actually losing his memory and forgetting about her. Nya is scared of Jay forgetting her, but I doubt she's ever truly thought "Jay has forgotten about me and gotten amnesia" as much as "Jay could have abandoned me"

[boyfridged]

it's been a while since i posted about it but i do have a whole tag #the worst thing about love dedicated to that theme and i will always treasure the idea (supported by canon) of jason being cursed with accurate memory over the jason-with-varying-forms-of-amnesia fanon. rhato (2011) #3 might be the only good thing written by lobdell in how it aligns with it... jason's fond memory of bruce staying with him instead of going to patrol is a curse to him because it singles him out in a world that has forgotten. in aditf, bruce chooses following the joker instead of going after jay -- and we now know that jay's bitterness irt that matter originated from his expectations built by bruce himself, who was earlier ready to forgo vigilante responsibilities to take care of him... and as i said before, for jay post-res, aditf lasts forever: he's still daring his father to choose him, even if he does not realise it, even if his own identity is too melted into the mask, even if what he wants is bruce sitting on the couch next to him still in costume and not in civvies. he cannot explain it even to himself. and the world in which that was an option- in which there were no repercussions for bruce choosing jason, is long gone. bruce had his part in it. the narrative was already reshaping itself to expel jason early post-crisis, and his death only cemented it-- more than that, bruce's grief did it, it reshaped his own memories of jason as angry, of his expectations as illogical and even petty. jason comes back to a world that others him. and in order to come back to it, he strikes a miltonian pose-- playing the role of a villain since there is nothing else left, no other way to reintegrate himself into this new fabric of universe. but the dissonance between that pose and his memory will only isolate him further, making him hope. hope is a hostile thing for jason todd. so in rhato (2011) #3 he chooses to forget. forgetting does not stick. it never does. the memory will be back and incline him to reach out again, uselessly. the worst thing about love is that he remembers it.

[sumaneun-stars]

'Save It - 05'

(smut)

previous | masterlist

Pairing. boss!Jay x Fem!secretary!reader

Genre. Co-workers to lovers, smut, angst

Warnings. Mentions of abuse, making out, unprotected sex, nipple play, handjobs, swearing etc!

Sypnosis. Jay was the fuckboy in college, such a playboy that he almost ran out of girls to hook up with. But once he inherited his father’s company, he’d changed. 3 years into being a professional CEO and then you walked through those doors, making him fall at first sight. All his plans collapsed once he found out that his rival, Lee Heeseung, was best friends with you ever since. There were many reasons for him to let go of you, including his parents- but his endless love for you said otherwise.

“How did you and Heeseung… become friends?” Jay didn’t want to invade your privacy, but he wanted to know what Heeseung meant to you.

“Hmm..” you tried to remember.

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t feel like it” 

“No- no i was just trying to recall the memory that’s all” you smiled and kissed his hand. Jay was grateful that you were comfortable with him. He kept himself occupied with caressing your hair while he waited for you to answer.

“Back in college when the basketball games were on, I would always stay back and spend my time on the rooftop. I was never really into cheering the guys on like the others did” you said as you played with Jay’s fingers.

Jay hummed in response as he nuzzled his nose in your hair, causing butterflies in your stomach.

“So Heeseung was one of the major players- and one day he got into an accident and couldn’t play anymore” 

“Oh my god-  that’s horrible” Jay weirdly felt bad for Heeseung, he never knew this side of him.

“He didn’t attend any of the games after that. So on the day of the finals I was at my usual spot on the rooftop and I suddenly heard crying”

“Oh… it was Heeseung” Jay sympathized.

“Yeah… and out of instinct I comforted him” 

The memory played in your head, it was so clear like it happened only yesterday. He was your first, but he never reflected the love you had for him.

Jay knew you had a crush on Heeseung back then and he hated it, but looking at your expression now- he wondered how much of hurt it would have caused you. It pained him so much to have a crush on you for a few months, but for you to carry it for years. He wouldn’t have survived.

“So you have a lot of memories on the rooftop, huh?” Jay said as he tickled you. You laughed thinking about what happened tonight- you had completely forgotten about it.

“Thank you for telling me, love. Get some sleep, the flight is at 10 am tomorrow” he pecked your forehead and caressed your cheek. You mumbled a soft ‘okay’ and snuggled into his chest. Jay grabbed your thigh and lifted it up to his waist, making it dangle from the other side. He wrapped his arm around you and gently ran his thumb over your earlobe. The action somehow made you comfortable, and soon you fell asleep in his arms.

When Jay heard your soft snoring, he pulled back to take a look at your face. He chuckled at your sleeping figure, the way your mouth parted and eyebrows relaxed made his heart flutter. How were you so perfect? And how did he get so lucky? 

The next day the both of you returned back. Jay’s mother wanted to meet him, and so the opportunity for you to meet her and clear the air about you rose. He wanted you to meet them- and most importantly, convince them about dating you, and hopefully… marry you. 

On the way to his parents house, your mind raced to all the possibilities for things to go wrong. You remembered Jay’s mothers expression when she first saw you. You bet she would get a heart attack when Jay tells her about you being his girlfriend. You loved Jay, but you didn’t want relationship with his parents to be ruined.

“Hey… everything will be fine, don’t worry” Jay reassured you as he laced his fingers with yours.

“I’m okay” You lied through your teeth. Jay gave you a stupid look that said, ‘please, I know you’. You chuckled at him and slapped his shoulder in a playful manner.

“It’s just that everything is moving so fast… I never expected to lose my virginity- especially with you. But I don't regret it obviously. And now we are on our way to reveal our relationship, but you’re my boss- and i’m your secre- hmph”

“Girlfriend” Jay kissed your lips to shut your rambling.

“I understand love… and to be honest I didn’t expect it either. But deep down, don't you think telling my parents is better than them finding out before?” Jay read you like a book. And when you mumbled a tiny ‘yes’, he chuckled and ruffled your hair.

“I’m sure they’ll love you, baby” Jay leaned in and kissed your cheek. He knew you were scared, you always had a habit of biting your inner cheek when you were nervous. He found it cute. It overwhelmed him how much he loved every little detail of yours. And at that moment, he made a pledge to himself to always protect you.

You got startled when the doors to the huge mansion opened. Jay held onto your hand which you were grateful for, and the maid led the both of you through different pathways and staircases. You weren’t joking when you said it was huge. She finally stopped at the garden and opened the glass door to you and Jay. At the far end, you spotted Jay’s mother seated, drinking tea. She looked …sad. Jay cleared his throat and before his mother could notice, you withdrew your hand from Jay’s. She spread her hands in joy, but it soon faded when she saw you.

She made her way over to Jay and hugged him “My son! I’m so happy to see you… I thought you wanted to talk about personal matters” she whispered the rest in his ear, but sadly you heard it.

“I did… with my girlfriend” he took your hand and raised it for his mother to see.

“G- girlfriend? Her?” She gasped out in shock. You did not expect Jay to introduce you like this. Now you were positive his mother would get a heart attack.

“That’s wonderful, dear!” she laughed in joy.

“Huh?” you and Jay said in sync. You expected some kinda… disappointment?

“I’m so happy you found a girlfriend son, come sit down” Jay’s mother hugged him and hugged you too. You looked at Jay and he had the same expression as you. Confusion. 

“Mom, you're taking your medicines daily, right?” Jay asked and you kicked him under the table.

“Yes dear, I’m not crazy” His mother laughed.

“Mrs. Park, are you truly okay with us?” you asked genuinely.

“Of course dear! And please call me Mom” she took your hand and lightly squeezed it. It felt weirdly nice. She smiled and you naturally reciprocated it.

“What about- Soojin?” Jay mumbled curiously.

“Ah… her. Apparently she is in love with her bodyguard, Mr. Song” his mother looked down.

You suddenly remembered the guy who gave you Jay's parcel back in shanghai… the prada bag.

“The fair back haired guy? The good looking one?” your voice betrayed you. And his mother nodded her head. The side of your head suddenly felt hot, you faced Jay and his eyes shot daggers your way. 

“Unfortunately, yes. He is good looking” she agreed and Jay turned to his mother in disbelief.

“Good look-”

“Soojin called me yesterday and told me that she loved him and that it was all a show,” his mother said in disappointment. You felt guilty for ruining the plans she had for her one and only son.

Jay took your hand and laced his fingers with yours. He ran his thumb over your skin and smiled. His mother saw this and smiled.

“But it looks like I don’t have to worry” you gestured to both your hands and smiled sweetly.

“Thank you… Mom” you said for the first time in 11 years. 

The evening went on with Jay's mother asking details of your relationship. It felt nice to speak to her. She even apologized for looking at you unpleasantly during the party. She spoke about Jay’s childhood stories, and embarrassing moments. It all ended well.

“Good looking black haired guy?” Jay asked you in disbelief as he drove you to your house. He didn’t like the idea of you finding another guy handsome. Was he as good looking as him?

“Oh yeah he was hella good looking… and tall” you teased him as you looked at your phone. You weren’t focused on your phone anymore when you found out Jay was jealous. You then understood the look he gave you back at his parents house. It was a rare occasion, so you wanted to test his patience.

“How exactly was he better looking than your boyfriend?” he asked with a smirk. He knew your answer would be ‘you’re more better looking’ or ‘you're the most handsome one’. In all the dramas the female lead always said those. But you said-

“Well- he was a little more muscular than you. Oh! And he had green eyes. Ugh they were-” you continued to tease him.

“Wow, you're actually explaining it” he mumbled disappointedly. His lips formed into a sad pout as he looked ahead. You laughed and leaned in to kiss his cheek, but he turned his head and kissed your lips. You gasped and covered your mouth with your hand.

“Caught you!” He cheered and you slapped his arm playfully.

Jay hugged you in front of your apartment, relieved that it was all over, and that he could freely date you. He sighed and buried his nose in the side of your neck, inhaling the scent of your hair. You stroked the back of his head and pecked his ear. You pulled away from the hug and bid him goodbye. He waited for you to walk in but got confused when you ran back into his arms.

“Baby, everything okay?” he patted your back lovingly.

You gave him one final squeeze and kissed his lips. His hand on your waist traveled up to the back of your neck and pulled you more into the kiss. When the breath in your lungs ran out, you pulled away and breathed into his mouth. You were driving him crazy.

“You're so beautiful, Jongseong” you whispered into his lips, your finger delicately brushing over his chin. Jay felt a thousand fireworks in his stomach, and he found himself smiling like an idiot. How did you make him so weak in the knees? You laughed when you saw Jay’s wide smile, and he shyly hid his face in his hands.

“What?” your question came out in a laugh.

“I’m beautiful?” he giddily asked.

“Oh my god Jay…” you laughed and he swayed from side to side like a cat, snuggling his head in your neck.

“Bye, I'm going in” you ran to the entrance but stopped when Jay replied, louder than usual.

“Am I more beautiful than the ‘tall, handsome guy?’”

“Sh… Oh my god, the neighbors” you laughed and Jay sent you a flying kiss.

You smiled like an idiot as you made your way into your house. You were so grateful that everything was back to normal- but better. You changed into your night clothes and you immediately fell asleep.

The next morning you got up and made it to the office early. Your phone beeped to the message sent by Jay. You opened the chat that was once named ‘Boss’, and now named ‘Jongseongie<3’

‘Good morning love! Are you at the office? I can ask the driver to go slow for you to run ahead if your not \(^0^)/’ 

You scoffed playfully at his text.

‘Mr. Park I’m at the office thank you very much -_-'

‘Awh I wanted to pick you up!’

‘Omg you're so cute&lt;;3'

“Who are you texting?” Mark peeked into your phone but you turned it off before he could read the messages.

“N- No one” you stuttered.

“Oooh… something happened in Shanghai... Oh my- did you- you had sex?" Mark cheered out and you shut his mouth with your hand.

“Shhh! Yes okay I did!” you whisper shouted at him.

“Yes, finally! Wait- with whom?” you both laughed when he asked impatiently. You walked away, but he followed you.

“Okay okay, I’m just happy you experienced it” He patted your shoulder and you gave him a side hug. You told Haneul about Jay though. She deserved to know, she was so shocked that she kept spamming you.

When you were informed Jay was to arrive soon, you left your phone on your shared desk with Mark and made your way to the entrance. You stood in your rightful place, which was opposite to Mark. Everyone was in position except… Sohee was standing on your right instead of Mr. Seo (the Manager of team A).

“How did you enjoy the hotel suite, Ms.Y/n?” Sohee said sarcastically as you looked at her way.

You looked at Mark and you gave him an 'I'll tell you later’ look. The car pulled up and you opened the door for Jay.

“Good morning, Mr. Park” you said in your ‘secretary voice’.

“Good morning” the corner of his lip tilted upwards as he looked at you and replied.

You tried your best to hide the smile. Once Jay walked away, everyone sent suspicious eyes at you. Especially Sohee. You loved your job as Jay’s secretary- but the only disadvantage was that everyone was jealous of your position, especially the females.

One of the female employees walked up to you with her hands crossed to her chest, wearing a look of disgust and jealousy.

“Y/n, why did Mr. Pa-”

“Hey Y/n, I need you to look into a document urgently, now now now” Mark said as dragged you away from the crowd.

Mark led you to your desk with him and made you sit down on your chair. He stood up and crossed his arms in a playful way, like he was going to interrogate you.

“You slept with Mr. Park, didn’t you?” Your eyes widened at his accurate answer, and that just confirmed his suspicion. Mark dramatically covered his mouth in shock.

“No- no I didn’t- I had it with someone else-” you tried to cover up but just then your phone lit up to a text Jay had sent. Mark gasped dramatically as he saw the chat name. He snatched your phone before you could get a hold of it.

“Come to my office- oooh~ Y/n~” Mark swooned as he read out the message.

“Okay okay, I’m dating Jay” you chuckled as you told Mark. You trusted him, and even though he didn’t show it- he cared a lot about you. Mark listened with an amused look. The both of you laughed along at the jokes he made.

You didn't notice time had gone by until Jay opened his office door. Mark and you stood up and bowed automatically. Jay stared into your eyes and Mark coughed, kicking you under the table signaling you to go in.You walked over to Jay and he moved aside to let you into his office. Your back hit the door the moment he closed it. He looked down at your small figure as he caged you with his body.

“Having fun back there?” Jay said in a deep, deadly whisper.

You shivered when his breath hit your neck. His lips lingered there without any movement. Your heart beat fastened so much, you could hear it in your ears. You were getting so wet at his hot breath fanning your neck. Suddenly, Jay pulled down the blinds, making the office dim. He smirked slightly when he saw your legs tighten together.

He suddenly carried you to his desk and set you down. His hand made his way to your blouse, starting to unbutton it.

“J- Jay, what if someone sees?” You asked, but it soon turned into a whimper once he kissed the exposed skin on your chest.

“Let them see” Jay threw your blouse to the floor and unhooked your bra swiftly. He connected his lips on your nipple and started sucking on it with so much force that you were being pushed backwards. You whimpered as he swiveled his tongue over your hardened tit. He groaned out when you held onto his hair for support. You bit your bottom lip to the feeling of his hands running all over your body.

His fingers moved down to unzip your skirt. You wanted to tease him- so you raised your red stiletto shoe and lightly pressed it to his crotch.

“Ah- fuck” he moaned and pushed your leg aside. He looked at you, and before he could make a filthy comment, you grabbed the nape of his neck and kissed him. Your kiss turned into a very hot make out session. Jay’s tongue danced with yours, heads moving from side to side. Meanwhile, your hands got to work on his belt, and when you got rid of his underwear, you ran your fingers over his shaft.

“Hmph- god” he moaned into the kiss.

You smirked and started rubbing up and down his length at a fast pace. Jay gripped on to your hips for support and you wrapped your legs around his waist to bring him closer to you. His moans were so heavenly it got you so wet. He hissed when you massaged his balls. He was dripping with pre cum already when he felt a tingle in his stomach.

“Don’t stop- ugh” He let out a guttered moan.

You gasped when you felt hot ropes of cum gushing out. You watched in awe as he released his liquid on your hand. He was panting heavily as he looked at you, making you smirk. You felt proud that you played his own game.

“That was not pretty babe,” Jay panted.

Jay’s mouth parted as you smirked and brought your fingers to your mouth, starting sucking his cum off them.

“Mhm but it’s delicious” you moaned at the taste, your eyes completely on his. Your left hand was on his cock and you smirked when he became hard again. 

“Fuck- baby, you're a natural” 

Your back hit the desk and Jay towered over you. He undressed you and hissed out when he saw you dripping wet.

“So wet after giving me a hand kitten?” he teased 

“You cummed on it though” you smirked but soon moaned out when he scissored his fingers through your hole, his pace faster than usual.

“Don’t be naughty, doll” Jay cooed as your hips struggled to be freed from his hold.

“Hmph- ah!” You cried out on his fingers. It felt like heaven. 

He pulled out his fingers and you supported yourself on your elbows to why he stopped. Jay moved backward for you to witness. He bit his lip as he rubbed your slick over his cock. You moaned at the sight of his precum and your arousal combined together.

He came closer to you and laid you down on his desk. He towered over your body and leaned in to whisper into your ear.

“I’ve waited to fuck you on my desk for so long, baby” 

He wanted to take you on this desk so desperately ever since his stupid dream, and the best part was you sounded so much more heavenly than his nightmare.

You brought his face closer to yours and whispered back into his ear.

“Then fuck me” 

You cried out when he shoved his cock into your needy hole without a warning. He moaned into your ear when you clenched around him. The both of you were completely naked against each other, his bare skin on yours. His hips moved in such a fast way that you were out of breath. The way his balls hit your skin was making you dizzy. Jay pulled out for a brief moment only to force it back in, making your back arch to the constant hitting on your g-spot.

“Ah- ah! S-so full-” you stuttered out as you held onto his shoulders.

“You're taking me so well, kitten, my good girl” he said before he licked your ear lobe.

Jay suddenly pulled out and bent you over his desk. He parted your legs and entered you once again. You screamed out in pleasure at the new feeling, him feeling so much more deeper now. His tip hit all the spots with more delicious force. His hands were on your hips but his fingers were fixed to your clit. You bit your hand to muffle your moans as he rubbed circles on your sensitive bud.

“You know daddy doesn't like that, right?” Jay took your hand away from your mouth and held it behind your back.  

You moaned out when he hit his hips with force to get a reaction out of you.

“Answer, doll” Jay pushed harder.

“Y- yes, daddy!” you screamed.

Jay rolled his hips and you felt a coil in your stomach. He understood when you started panting harder. He didn’t want to pull out but he had to, when he was half way out you clenched on him  

and pushed yourself backwards to prevent him from doing it.

“Don’t pull out Jay” you whined.

“Baby, I don’t want to either but-”

“Then don’t!” 

“Love, I can’t-” he hesitated 

“Please, daddy” you moaned out desperately

“Fuck it” 

He started rubbing your clit, and soon you both came. Jay bent over and moaned into your neck at the way you tightened around him. You whimpered when you felt Jay filling you up. His hot breath on your neck made it a thousand times better. Your arms staggered with tiredness. Jay noticed that and pulled out and gently turned you over. Your back rested on his desk and you looked at Jay who was staring at your pussy. He jerked himself a few times and entered you again.

He raised your legs and made them wrap around his waist, humming at the feeling and rested his head on your chest while he filled you up to the brim. You sighed as you played with his hair, stroking it and gently massaging his scalp. The both of you stayed like that for a while. From time to time Jay hugged your waist and buried his face into your chest, and occasionally he’d kiss your nipple. It felt peaceful even though he was still inside you. You couldn’t believe his seeds were inside of you, but you didn’t regret it. You could take a pill later.

Jay was at peace. Your warmth kept felt like home to him, the way you gently ran your fingers through his hair made him feel so light. He could just fall asleep any minute. What he enjoyed most at this moment was the sound of your beating heart, it was a slow melody that he had grown to love. Everything about you was so fascinating to him. He felt a sense of pride as well, he fucked you better than heeseung did in his nightmare. The fact that he was inside you with no movement felt nice. His heart fluttered when you would kiss the top of his head lovingly, what did he do to deserve you?

“Love?” you called him but he didn’t reply. “Jay, my baby?”

“Five more minutes” He mumbled into your chest. You chuckled at his behavior. You didn't know how much time you’d lost. Mark was still outside, could he have heard anything?

“Time to wake up, daddy” you teased him as you ruffled his hair.

“Oh no~” he whined shyly. You chuckled and kissed his head. Is it even possible to be shy after saying all those words?

Jay slowly got off of you and helped you to stand, your legs wobbled as you lost balance, but Jay carried you and made you sit on his chair.

“Honey, you okay?” His voice was full of concern, even though you were about to fall a minute ago, your heart fluttered to new nickname.

“Y- yeah, I’m okay” you smiled at him.

“Shall I get you some muscle cream?” Jay was so worried, he went too far with you and now you were hurting.

“No baby, I’m fine” you made him look at you and kissed his nose.

“Are you sure nothing is hurting?” 

“My thighs are a little numb that’s all, I promise” You looked at his watery eyes, he was so vulnerable you wanted to cry. How did you end up with an angel like him?

Jay dressed you up and you promised him you wouldn’t walk too much. He told you to wait after work so that he’d take you home.

“How was your trip to heaven, Ms.Y/n?” Mark teased as you sat down 

“Amazing! There were rivers of milk everywhere!” you dramatically said in a playful manner.

“Oh my god! I wonder where it flows down to?” you and Mark laughed so much your jaws started to hurt, he was the best friend you could ask for.

After work ended Mark looked at you.

“Aren’t you going home?” He asked curiously 

“Jay is taking me home” 

“Ooh, heaven let’s go!” he cheered.

“Not heaven you idiot, my legs are aching” you looked down and Mark scotted down in front of you,

“Seriously? Do you want some painkillers or some kinda crea-” he panicked

“No no I’m fine, thanks Mark” you patted his shoulder.

“You sure-” 

“Ready, babe?” Jay came up to you and stroked your shoulder.

“Yeah, let’s go” you smiled at Mark and Jay shook his hand. But the moment you stood up your thighs ached with pain and you fell back onto your chair.

“Y/n!” Mark and Jay shouted in sync.

You knew life wasn’t on your side. Jay felt so guilty, you're in so much pain because of him. What if your scars were hurting too?

“I don’t think I can walk, Jay” you were genuinely worried about the pain in your legs, not the pain from the session with Jay, but the pain of the scars following it. You were mostly worried about Jay, he would be kicking himself internally by seeing you.

Jay removed his coat and placed it on your legs.

“Baby can you put your arm around my neck?” you hesitated a bit but then placed your arm around his neck, and he gently carried you bridal style.

“Does it hurt?” his voice came out in a broken sob, your heart ached at his voice. He was so worried about you. You nodded your head and he carried you to the car.

You hid your face in his shoulder when you heard people gasping and whispering. What did you get yourself into?

Jay helped you on the passenger seat of his bugatti, the seat was so soft and comfortable, you relaxed right away. You watched as Jay walked to the driver seat and got in. He looked at you with so much concern, making you melt.

“Are you comfortable, love?” Jay asked, he took your hand and placed a kiss on it.

“What happened to ‘honey’?” you smiled and felt at ease when he smiled back.

“Are you comfortable, honey?” He corrected his sentence as he kissed the back of your hand once again.

You nodded your head and Jay drove to his house. He stopped at a pharmacy and bought you a pill and other stuff which he refused to show you. You smirked to yourself, you knew he bought condoms for your next trip to heaven.

“Why are you smiling?” Jay asked.

“Nothing” you pursed your lips.

Jay carried you all the way to his bathroom and set you down on the counter gently, like you were a piece of glass. You watched him as he started filling the tub with hot water. You suddenly tensed up, your skin burnt up every time you came in contact with it. It brought back all those nightmares you lived through, and with the pain in your thighs…

“Jay… I can’t-” your voice almost came out as a whisper.

Jay faced you and immediately made his way to you when he saw your eyes glassy.

“Baby what's wrong? Is the pain getting worse?” He rubbed your thighs gently. 

“No, I can’t bathe in hot water Jay… it hurts” He understood, your scars hurt when it touched heat… or was it your head?

“When did you last bathe in hot water, love?” he asked slowly as he stroked your hair to calm you down.

“About… 5 years ago” you realized how long it was, after that experience you never wanted to touch hot water in your life. Even during the freezing cold winter when you missed the feeling of warm water hitting your skin, you refused.

“Hmm that was a long time ago, wasn’t it? Do you wanna try again?” Jay stroked your sides, he didn’t want to force you into anything but the medicine he bought needed to be added into warm water. You looked at the tub and hesitated for a while.

“Maybe I can try” deep down you were curious to how your skin and mind would react to the water.

“That’s my good girl” he kissed your forehead, took the crystal medicine and sprinkled it over the water. He diluted it with a little cold water to not make it too hot for you.

“What’s that?” you asked curiously what he added into the water.

“It’s a medicine to ease the pain,” he explained.

“In water?” you questioned.

“Yeah, apparently a lot of couples bathe together after sex and this helps to reduce the pain,” Jay said as he checked the water with his hands.

“And how do you know this, honey?” you said while you started undressing.

Jay smirked and made his way over to you, he loosed his tie in front of you and threw it to the floor, you gulped as he started invading your personal space. He hooked his hand on the waistband of your skirt, before leaning into your ear.

“How do I know this?” He repeated your question.

You nodded your head and swallowed at the close proximity. 

“The pharmacist told me” he pecked your ear and walked to the bedroom, smiling playfully at your flustered state. You scoffed at his games and started to undress.

When Jay came back into the bathroom, you were sitting naked on the counter. He was in his bathrobe but even the little bits of exposed skin made you horny. Jay eyes feasted on your naked figure, you were sitting so prettily there for him. He cleared his thoughts as he made his way to you.

“You okay?” he asked.

“Yeah” 

He pulled the string of his robe and it fell to the ground, revealing his sculpt-like body. You shut off your dirty thoughts and let him carry you. He got into the bathtub first as you held onto him like a koala on a tree.

“Whenever you're ready, love” Jay said before he kissed your cheek.

You took in a deep breath and lowered your legs down slowly into the water. It felt… nice. Your feet tingled at the feeling. You were now standing with Jay. he examined your face. You seemed to have mixed feelings about it so instead he waited for you.

“I like it” you gave him the green light, making him smile.

He sat down and spread his arms for you to sit in between his legs. You bent down and made yourself comfortable in his embrace. His hand gently massaged your body, making you melt into his touch. You hummed when Jay massaged the spots that hurt the most.

“I’m so proud of you, babe” Jay kissed the side of your head

“If it weren't for you I wouldn’t have even thought about this” you leaned back onto his chest.

Jay’s body hugged yours, the comfortable nosies of his breath filled your ears. Occasionally, Jay would collect water in his hand and splash it on your face. The both of you would giggle and play like teenagers. At one point, you faced Jay and he scanned your body, the scars were much more visible in the water. He was furious at the person who did this to you. You were only a kid, how could someone be so heartless to torture a child?

“It’s scary you know… when sadness can turn into anger” you observed Jay’s face, and you remembered the thirst you had to take revenge on the person who made you go through this.

“You were only a child, Y/n” Jay looked at you like he was about to cry.

You moved closer to him and cupped his face “Everything in life happens for a reason”

“But this is-” he protested

“Maybe god sent you to me as a gift… in this cruel world” 

A tear ran down Jay’s cheek, his heart exploding in his chest to your words. You're the star sent down to him. He had no clue who he was until he met you, it was like he never even had a life before you. Your touch was the light to his skin, your breath was the air to his lungs and your smile was the life to his empty soul.

Jay pulled you into his arms and cried on your shoulder, he was so grateful that you were his.

“Jay- what's wrong, love?” you were worried about him. His feelings right now for you were so overwhelming, he didn't know how to express it, but he was sure of one thing 

“I love you” you froze as he spoke into the crook of your neck.

“I love you so so much, Y/n” he sobbed into your neck, making the butterflies in your chest explode. You found yourself crying.

You cradled his head in your arms, kissing the side of his head 

“I love you more, my Jongseong” You connected both your foreheads and smiled at each other.

The tears of both of you fell to the water like petals from a blossomed tree. You took water in your hand and gently washed away his tears. He closed his eyes at the touch of your soft hands as you admired every little detail of his face like a piece of art. Once Jay opened his eyes, he smiled playfully at your marveled face.

“Have you seen yourself in the mirror, honey?” Jay playfully raised his eyebrows.

“Mhm I have, and I’m starting to wonder what you like in me” 

“Don’t say that… you're beautiful in your own weird way” he played you.

“Hey!” you splashed water at him and he laughed out.

“Come on, time for bed” you said as you got out of the tub, your legs felt much more relaxed than before, and the pain was only slightly there. But that didn’t stop Jay from carrying you to bed.

He made you wear his t-shirt and tucked you in until he went back to change. When Jay came back to the room, he found you sleeping, your eyelashes sitting beautifully on your eyelids. He made his way over to your sleeping figure. You looked so adorable, he wanted to squeeze your cheeks.

“Y/n~” he tickled your nose.

“Hmm?” you whined in your sleep.

He chuckled softly at your behavior, he stayed there observing your face. He wanted you in his life all the time. At the end of the day, it was you he wanted. He wanted to come back home to you.

“Baby~”

“Yes” you said mindlessly as you stirred in your sleep.

“Do you like honey?” he asked teasingly.

“Hm? Mhm” you hummed in agreement without knowing the question.

From the opened balcony, the city lights enlightened the room. And even in the dim room, Jay could see your tiny pimples. He adored everything about you. You shivered slightly when the cold breeze hit your skin. Chuckling to himself, Jay got up to close the door of the balcony. All of a sudden Jay thought of something, giddily skipping his way back to your sleeping figure.

He moved closer to you and tickled your nose again 

“Will you marry me?” 

“Hm? Okay” you said more desperately, half asleep.

Jay chuckled and kissed your forehead lovingly.

“Goodnight, my wife”

End.

A/n: sorry guys for keeping you waiting! Lmk what you think!!! Thank you for reading<3