#jay and joy my beloved

[vegance]

there is soo much amazing vegan artisan cheese out there like....

yes, most of them are not very widely available and still quite expensive (though its getting better) but it absolutely exists. and if they were to receive a fraction of the funding that the dairy industry gets, i'm sure they could expand more quickly!!

the idea that you can only make good cheese with mothers milk is just wrong, humans have been making plant based cheese for centuries!

[24hlevi]

ANYA TAYLOR JOY I LOVE YEWWWW

[poppadom0912]

The best babysitters

Warnings: Mentions of absent father but all fluff

Summary: Work prevents you from going home one night, thankfully you’ve got the best backup in Chicago.

A/N: This is being posted later than I planned. My mum was in hospital and it gave me a scare but she's all recovered now so here this is. This is in celebration of 1k, a few more will follow as my workload has decreased significantly.

This fic exists in the same world as my other fic ‘older sister’ but can also be read as a stand alone.

You were tired.

Work was beyond busy today and your clients were being unnecessarily stressful. All you wanted now was to go home, relieve your babysitter of her duties and enjoy the night in with your daughter.

It seemed that the universe had some sort of vendetta against you though because just as you were putting the finishing signatures on the last few papers, an intern, a woman you saw earlier at reception, came running into your office slightly out of breath.

You wanted to scream.

Letting the poor intern talk, you smiled at her stiffly, dismissing her after saying you’d make your way. There was no way you could ask your babysitter to stay late for God knows how much longer, you could remember her telling you she has a lecture tomorrow morning.

Getting up from your desk, you sighed, screwing your eyes closed when you caught the time on your phone. Your sigh in defeat could probably be heard all across Chicago.

Walking out your office, the sound of your heels filled out the empty space, majority of the firm had gone home, only a few stragglers staying behind to close up on any loose ends.

Turning your phone on, you ignored the several notifications screaming for your attention and went straight to your contacts.

Your phone only rang twice before the person on the receiving end picked up.

“Hey Will, can you do me the biggest favour please… You’re a life saviour, thanks, I owe you one.”

Hanging up the phone, you stared ahead through the windows at the bustling waiting room, raised angry voices overlapping and bleeding though the walls.

You could already feel your headache intensifying.

*****

Using his spare key, Will entered your house. Shuffling inside, he took off his jacket and shoes as usual.

Hearing the front door open, little pattering feet were immediately heard running across the house. Will smiled at the sound that he didn’t hear often due to all of your demanding jobs.

“Mama! Mama oh-“

The immense joy on Harper’s face disappeared as the nearly two-year-old rounded the corner on her little chubby legs, expecting to see her beloved mother who she missed all day only to suddenly be met with her redheaded uncle.

“Well hello to you too miss Harper.” Will smiled down at his niece nonetheless, crouching down to scoop her into his arms to which she didn’t argue and instead welcomed.

As soon as she was safe in his arms, the toothiest, giddiest smile broke out on her chubby face that was so scarily identical to yours that it could only be explained by witchcraft.

Harper giggled, such a sound making Will forget about all the horrors that stained his day from the emergency department.

“Hi!” She exclaimed, her smile remained upright and never faltered. “Hi!”

And soon after, she pressed her open mouth onto his stubbly cheek, her attempt of a kiss. Despite struggling with the tough task and all the slobber that remained on his cheek, Will’s reaction was instant and wouldn’t change for the world.

“Oh, thank you so much Harper! Uncle Will missed you tons. Look at how big you’ve grown!”

But, before Will could have all his focus solely on his adorable niece, the sound of the front door unlocking diverted his attention.

Lo and behold, Jay casually strolled in as though this was another random Tuesday.

Oh, that son of a b-

Harper’s scream that followed definitely burst Will’s eardrums.

Will winced, tipping his head away to protect his ears from any further damage before turning to glare at his brother who was taking his jacket off.

"What are you-"

"You said we'd meet at Molly's for a drink but you weren't there." Jay cut Will off, a smile on his face as he looked at Harper and spoke without looking in Will's direction. "Natalie told me you were here."

"Jay Jay's jealous Harper." Will said, his tone all factual and matter-of-fact as he looked at the toddler in his arms. "He didn't want to miss out."

Jay didn't even try to look offended or hurt by Will's remark because deep down, it was somewhat true because how could Jay let Will have all the fun by himself?

"Stop hogging her you buffoon and let me hold her." Jay told Will, not waiting for a reply as he moved forward and took Harper into his arms, the girl didn't protest nor did she willingly lean forward.

"What- Uh, I've literally been here for five minutes Jay."

"Am I your favourite uncle? I knew it!"

*****

Following Jay’s sudden and unprompted arrival, Will dismissed your babysitter, paying her what you usually did and a little more as compensation for staying so late.

Once she had left, there wasn’t much left around the house for them to do besides turning the dishwasher on and making Harper’s nightly milks, but it wasn’t her bedtime just yet and maybe if time permitted it, Harper could stay up a little beyond her usual bedtime.

Consider it a small treat for this special circumstance without her mother implementing her strict nighttime routine.

While Will was sorting away the finals bits in the kitchen, Jay easily made himself comfortable in the living room while Harper continued to babble nonsensically, a few discernible words welcomed themselves into the mix. Jay allowed himself to take a second to relish in the moment, trying to prevent himself from having an existential crisis as he realised he was both emotional but also proud of how much she was growing.

“Dada, look look! S’ Dada!”

Moment ruined, Jay’s smile instantly fell.

Jay followed the direction of Harper’s index finger to the tv, his face hardening at the sight of the man who failed his fiancée and his baby who just turned one.

Harper's 'dad' was a television reporter and it had totally slipped his mind that this was the channel he worked for. Seeing his stupid face yap away about the news made his blood boil.

Jay changed the channel without a second thought.

Your ex fiancé had suddenly decided to leave on Harper’s first birthday, not even having the decency to at least show up at her birthday party.

A year later, and Harper still remembered the man whose name was her first word.

It devastated you still to this day what he had done and Harper’s random interjections of ‘dada’ only made the wound deeper.

“Dada isn’t here harper.” Jay said, tone as soft as it could be as he tried to explain it without her crying.

“It’s just uncle Jay and Will, and mama will be home soon.” Jay continued, holding the toddler in his lap so there was no chance of her running away crying.

Luckily, Harper was a mummy’s girl through and through, so despite the large absence of her father, simply mentioning ‘mama’ or anything akin to that made her entire face light up in a way that no one else could.

“Okay Halstead’s, listen up!” Will said as he entered the living room, phone in one and a towel in the other.

“Y/N’s saying it’s mostly likely going to be another two hours minimum so we’re most likely going to have to stay over.” Will told Jay specifically before looking down at Harper.

“You wanna get into your PJ’s Harps? Jay Jay can make you some milk.”

And despite her highly energised state, Harper would never turn down the enticing combination of her pyjamas and warm milk.

Crawling out of Jay’s lap, Harper moved towards Will who in turn of carrying her gave Jay the towel he was holding. And as much as Jay wanted to fight his brother, he knew Will had more experience with kids - i.e. Owen - and so he could gladly change her diaper.

With Will and Harper standing over him, brown eyes wide, glinting with a hidden intent Jay had become familiar with since childhood. It really wasn’t fair that you and Will both had your father’s eyes which Harper just had to inherit. Jay found himself useless and always surrendering to those goddamn eyes, even as the youngest sibling.

Whenever Jay remembered his childhood, it never made sense why the two older siblings never folded as easily when he looked up at them with the biggest, most imploring eyes. Even now, three decades later, and not a single thing had changed.

“Okay, okay! Just stop looking at me like that.” As soon as Jay spoke, the two rejoiced, their happiness still discernible even as they made their way upstairs.

“Let’s get this party started then.”

*****

And so party they did.

Well at least according to Harper’s standards.

The night started off with warm drinks - Harper with her milk while Will and Jay spoiled themselves to the expensive coffee beans that you easily could afford but neither your brothers indulged in unless under your roof.

Following this, Harper had a short but very fun time running around with sudden newfound energy, causing as much havoc as humanly possible for anyone her size.

It was safe to say that she tired herself quite quickly.

As Jay opened himself and Will a beer, he walked back into the living room, his eyes landing on his older brother and niece, the younger scrunched up into a little ball on Will's chest. Her face completely relaxed and arms wrapped around his torso as she snored quietly.

"Now this, after today, is my kinda party."

"Amen." Will agreed, tapping his bottle with Jay's as a silent 'cheers'.

Jay settled besides his brother, both of them staring forward at the muted movie Harper randomly chose, the first she watched that didn't have any princess affiliations.

"Gosh, it feels like years since we last babysat her." Will said, a sombre but nostalgic tone lacing his words.

"It does." Jay hummed as he swallowed his beer. "We're all so busy with work we can hardly make time for each other."

Will scoffed. "I see you almost everyday, strolling casually into the ED like you own the freaking place. Who are you kidding?"

Jay rolled his eyes but agreed nonetheless.

"Yeah, we need to visit more often. Make more effort and take out the time."

The silence that followed was filled by Harpers little snores and the occasional sound of a siren blaring past in the distance.

"I'm so tired I could knock out right here on the floor."

"Don't be such a doofus, go put her down in her bed."

"Aye aye captain."

*****

When you finally returned home three hours later, tired beyond belief. You were so close to dropping to the floor as soon as you locked the door but as you ventured into the house, you were met with the most heart warming sight.

On the floor in the living room remained your two younger brothers and your daughter. Harper was still scrunched up in a ball on Will's chest, her hand clutching his shirt while said man had his face leaning forward into her hair, his breaths causing Harper's curl to move occasionally. Jay sat besides them, hands crossed slightly on his lap and his head tipped backwards, resting on the sofa.

Even as your eyes burned with the need for sleep, you took a few pictures of the scene before you, your smile not going till your head met your pillow.

If Jay and Will woke up with sore necks in the morning, there was a very seasoned doctor in the house for a reason.

[reveluving]

see you soon ; jason todd x batmom reader (ft bruce wayne)

includes: jason's beloved dubbed 'princesa' (can read it as her and/or jason being latina/latino or spanish being jason's 1st/2nd language!) & tooth-rotting fluff!

a/n: combining @xoxokirby's jason todd x princesa with my batmom AU in this quick, cute thought because I just love talking about them together 💗

check out my batmom m.list <3

"Alright, so here's the hot chocolate," You carefully passed Jason the heavy double-cup holder, "And in here is your Philly cheesesteak, some soups and your girl's panini sandwich. And I threw in some brownie pudding in there since we had extra. Make sure you don't heat it up beyond forty-five seconds. You're lucky you texted me just as dinner rush started."

While waiting for Jason to come and pick up the orders he had requested you just hours ago, you closed down the necessary so you could head home with Bruce straight away once he finishes his work in the office. Not once had Jason stopped offering on taking you back to the manor first before heading back to his girlfriend at his apartment, but you insisted otherwise.

And how could he say no to his mother?

"Yeah, that's on me," Your son smiled sheepishly, holding the bags of food and drinks with ease, "Y'sure we don't gotta pay up?"

"What makes you think I'm making my own kids pay for food at my café all of a sudden?" You rested your hands on your hips, brows raised as if he had asked the dumbest question ever.

"'m just askin', y'don't have to be so mad. Sheesh," He shrugged, only to dodge your playful smack with a laugh, "Kiddin', kiddin'."

But the big smile on his face remained.

A lot of things make him smile, be it from you, his siblings, Bruce at times or his beloved, but he just couldn't help replaying how you considered his girl one of 'your kids', as if, like him, you just knew she was the one.

"Be sure to tell her about the family dinner that we're having in two weeks." You reminded him, slipping on your gloves before turning off most of the lights. It would be her first dinner with the Waynes, and you wanted nothing more than to have her as a part of your family’s cheesy traditions.

"I will," He nodded, and just as you wondered about the extra joy he was radiating, he hugged you with one arm—the one that was holding the bag of food, "Thanks, ma."

"Oh, Jay," You chuckled, returning the hug with a few pats in his back, "I'm just looking out for my kids."

Just then, you and Jason heard the sound of engine approaching, and lo and behold, the familiar black Aston Martin came into view.

"That's our cue. C'mon," You playfully pushed him from the back, drawing a worried 'ma!', afraid he might drop the food. You just responded to his pout with a cheeky smile before exiting the café, with him waiting for you to lock the door. Winter came in early in Gotham, and the citizens took the opportunity to decorate the city in ways that seemed so... familial.

You opened the passenger door, "Hey." You lit up as Bruce leaned in, his warm lips tickled your cold cheek.

"Sorry I'm late. Tried to finish up some of the last reports before the holidays."

You reassured him, shaking your head as you did, "You're not, I promise. Plus, Jay waited with me."

Bruce looked over at your door, where Jason stood, "Thanks, Jason. Head home safely and don't forget about the dinner, alright?"

"I won't," He nodded curtly as he walked backwards, heading to the alley where he parked his bike, "I'll text y'when I reach home."

"Say hi to princesa for us!" You grinned, waving as you watched your son disappear into the back of the store. You closed the door, turning to Bruce and officially greeting him with a quick but nonetheless sweet kiss, "Hi, you."

"Hi yourself," He sighed in content, leaning in for another kiss as he held the steering wheel, "Shall we?"

"Of course." You replied, and just as your seatbelt clicked into place, Jason drove past you, but not before waving at you and Bruce as he did.

With the end of the year around the corner, you were tired, and so was Bruce. Jason was no different and he didn't doubt that his girl was beat, too.

But it was impossible to suppress the smiles on your faces, knowing that none of you will end the day by your lonesome.

Just a hot drink in hand, a comfy bed to cuddle up in, and your other half to hold onto.

˚ · . f i n . · ˚

[cutehoons02]

♡ would enhypen call you as your bf or as you would call it♡

*synopsis: (reaction) what the enhypen members call you or what you call them to make fun of them

༄07T༄

© cutehoons02 all rights reserved 2024.

(English is not my native language)

—REBLOG if you enjoyed

Jay (Amore mio)

Jay loved everything about the world of Italy, from fashion, good food, delicious vastness of fine wines that could be discovered and tasted in the wonderful Italian regions, to historical and artistic beauties that could be found in northern Italy, the center and south, and the merry approach that the fans had. After being in Italy for almost a week he had come across a couple at dawn in a delicious cafe and heard his beloved husband calling his beloved wife "Amore mio", he had written it on his phone and after the 11 hours of the plane ride he had it in his mind and how it sounded with his Korean and American accent, but to him, it sounded divinely and sweetly, he was looking forward to going home, to see you and say those words whispered in your ear because Jay was the representation of the prince charming who wrote himself countless gnomes to give you but "Amore mio" had become his nickname for him because you were seriously his love from the first day he saw you. After taking a shower to chase away the fatigue of those 11 hours of plane was super exciting to tell you that words, you were preparing pasta with sauce and you were turned to taste the delicious sauce that you had prepared for your boyfriend, you allowed him to approach slowly and felt your arms wrap around your back and then the waist and a light kiss at the top of your lobe in your ear. "You’re so beautiful, amore mio" when you heard those words a slight redness crept into your cheeks and your sunflower to find yourself a Jay with the hair slightly glued to the forehead for the heat of the shower and with the reddened cheeks that looked at you with eyes of true lover.

Jake (Teddy bear)

The sunset was now leaving light shades of pink and orange in the sky above Jeju beach, you were embraced by Jake’s strong arms and his chest, the wind was beginning to rise and a light breezy breeze cradled your two bodies sitting in a sheet to admire the sun that was setting and the boats that were returning to the port. You looked at your boy and marveled by the light reflection that he was coming between his face and with one hand you took a tuft of it from his forehead, he was always wonderful but you loved spending days like these where he seemed to be a guy with his joys and worries for his future; You felt his warm hand go under your sweatshirt and form light circles behind your back and you cuddled even more to him. " You know i love you Y/n" You watched with a laugh Jake "I love you too, teddy bear" You saw him look up and say, "Oh my god how many times i told you not to call me teddy bear, you want by chance the war y/n!" Jake pushed you slightly into the towel and some hands went to make you suntan between your hips " Jake we all know that you are a cuckold teddy with all". You raised your arms slightly and took his face with your little hands and began to kiss him first the forehead, the cheeks and then your lips slightly cracked were put in his in a light kiss, you felt his hands no longer make you sunny but they put on your jacket to support and looked at you laughing "Maybe you’re right i love being your favorite cuddly puppy!"

Sunghoon (Angel)

Sunghoon did not believe much in fate, he was a very pragmatic person and if something had to happen it should be him who made it happen, not someone on whom people wanted to meet or create situations. Sunghoon was a cold person at first impact with people, had to study them and every conversation he had at the beginning with someone he did not know had been carefully He did not want to be cynical or difficult with people but also not too friendly because it was not in his nature. A day break from the hectic world of Kpop events had taken place at night in his now former favorite place when he was little but which he had begun to hate during his teenage years, the ice rink in Seoul had always been the same as before but when he went there to train it was him that people looked at and admired but now things were reversed, you his angel down to earth that for 6 months now had carob with your elegance but also with your sarcastic ways of teasing him that you were better than him skating. He knew of your existence from high school when he first saw you at the age of 14 but had never had the rush to talk to you only to admire you from afar. When he left the world of skating for K-pop he did not expect you to recognize him because you were the ice star already a teenager and now you were in the prime of your career as a skater. Hoon slipped into the ice careful not to be heard by you that you had headphones in your ears to memorize the steps and he girded your hips and made you spin in front of him, you had half-waved hair in your tail and cheeks reddened from the cold but for him you were perfect at that moment, "Hello Angel, look who came to see you at almost midnight" looked at Hoon with a twinkle in his eyes and opened his jacket to rest your head in his chest and slightly warm up from his body. " You could have told me that you would come to see me so i would have prepared myself slightly and thought that i had some curfew to respect" A slight redness crept into the cheeks of Hoon and squeezed you harder "Angel you’re always beautiful to me and maybe i snuck out of my dorm room to corrupt Niki!" You lifted your head from his chest and looked at him "Oh my god i’m creating a little bad boy if your fans found out what they would think of the most vampire-human i’ve ever met in my life!" Hoon took your hand and you started skating slowly attached to give you warmth "Well it would be worth it because i would spend hours watching Angel in secret at any time of day or night".

Sunoo (Baby)

Sunoo was everything to you, your boyfriend, your lifeline, your best friend, and your favorite listener. You were lying in your comfortable bed with painful cramps in the belly because of the cycle and at the same time you were bored because there was nothing that took your curiosity on Netflix, you had written to Sunoo half an hour ago if he wanted to come and visit you just to spend an hour together to cuddle you and eat some snacks but he hadn’t answered yet and maybe he was training or recording something even though he was a boring Sunday afternoon and out even if it was only 16 he was already doing oxen. You heard your friends with whom you shared the apartment laugh and after a few seconds, you felt the door of your room open with her blonde hair your boyfriend entered cold from the harsh temperatures of Seoul, and in his hand had a glass of hot chocolate, snacks, and a small heated panty holder to make you put it where you were most uncomfortable and to relieve even that little menstrual pain. " Hi baby, i’m sorry if i didn’t answer you but when you told me if we could meet because you were bored and because you were sick i had the perfect excuse to get out of that chaos of the dorm with which i share with those human monsters!" a light laugh came out of your lips and opened your arms and you clung to him as koala to the lower part of his life "I missed you so much, I don't know if it is the hormones ball but i seriously need cuddles especially if they are yours Sunoo" a slight blush invaded the cheeks of Sunoo, you were quite introverted with everyone but when you were with Sunoo you became a different person and was proud to have only him this power. "Come here baby, i missed you too and in this week of hard work, i rarely had a moment to relax" Sunoo lay down in your bed and you cuddler to his chest and smelled his favorite sweet scent of Lush, "I’m so lucky to have you by my side Sunoo", "Woo but where does all this little sweetness come from? the cycle i know cannot last you a few days longer because you are so sweet to me only in your red days!"

Heeseung (Rameonlover)

One thing you loved about Heeseung was the more introverted and nerdy part he had with you in your relationship, you loved to see him turn into a hot guy when he was on stage, while dancing while singing, While he was flirting with the fans but then with you he was super sweet but sexy at the same time. You watched him use his big hands in the joystick of the play and while he grumbled if he could not defeat some monster, “do you want a picture of me Y/n? You’re losing the drool right here from your beautiful little mouth" You slapped him gently on the arm while he gently touched the bottom of your lip "Stop rameonlover know that I find you extremely attractive while playing at play" You saw him stretch and lift his eyes, you knew he had it in for you because your eyes were immediately set where you could see his perfect muscles "Do you find me attractive only while i play or even when i prepare the ramen, while Ii kiss your neck with my hair unkempt, while you come to spy on me while i dance with the muscles of my arms in plain sight or while i’m standing over you?" You hated him with all your heart because from the first day I saw him Hee made you taste those famous butterflies in your stomach and when he was in your range you always watched him, "Rameonlover lowers your ego a little bit because these things can be done by all the guys in this world and who knows maybe some are more attractive than you!"; Hee when I felt this phrase took you for life and with a little scream from your part put you in his legs and looked at you with his famous pout "Don’t try to make me jealous because you’re my y/n" felt his meaty lips give you small kisses on the neck and pulled his hair "Rameonlover please" Heeseung pinched your side and look at you with questioning "Stop bending me down Rameonlover even in these moments, i’m Heeseung or Hee to you, not that stupid nickname that he gave me Jake!”

Niki (Mochi)

Being the girlfriend of the youngest member of the group was fun because each member teased Niki but at the same time all members controlled you and this made her happy but when they became too protective or insistent in knowing what you were doing or with Who you saw outside of them was not good enough for you. You were sitting in the studio of Hybe watching your boyfriend Niki try to record new music, I saw it from the big mirror that hoped for the studio and you were really happy with all the success that was receiving. You felt the door open and a guy you had never seen sat next to you, sure was another idol but honestly you did not follow other idols or groups beyond Enhypen. "Are you a friend of Niki’s or his sister? Yes, he has two sisters but you don’t look very alike" look a little uncomfortable the boy because you are slightly shy with strangers especially with males "Uh no I’m Niki’s girlfriend" the guy in front of you looked at you with a look of surprise "are you kidding right? Niki never told us that he had a girlfriend, sure of wanting to be with the smallest of the group I think you deserve better" looked badly the guy in front of you "honestly who do you think you are to tell me something like this? I love my boyfriend and I sure don’t need anyone else" your shyness faded when you heard this phrase and Niki, Jungwon, and Hee heard you across the room and Niki felt a sense of admiration towards you and love for defending your relationship. She left the room and stood by your side "I never saw you so angry with a boy, what happened to the shy girl I know!" You felt your cheeks turn slightly red both for the initial embarrassment and also for the nickname he used, he only used it when you were alone to make fun instead of two other companions having heard it. “Did you hear what he called it? Mochi, oh my god we just lost it for this girl" Jungwon laughed and Hee hugged you both "Well I think we don’t have to worry about Y/ n anymore, she can do it herself even with the boys, that idol ran away when she saw you angry."

Jungwon (Kitten)

Loved walking near the Han River in Seoul especially at night while seeing all the lights of the city lit up and the various bridges that splashed water and made colorful water games. Near the river, there were a lot of parks and each park had small shelters for animals, especially for cats, you were a team dog but since you were with Jungwon, you were pretty indecisive about the question "Do you prefer dogs or cats?". You had your hand in Jungwon’s pocket as you passed by the river bank until you heard a slight meow coming from the pig and looked at Jungwon, "Kittie you’ve always been a dog lover don’t tell me I’m making you change your mind with my cat look!" Jungwon was beautiful but one thing you loved most about him was his big, long expressive eyes and he looked like a cat. "You’re not the stupid one who made me passionate about cats but you know I’ve always been a cat lover" Jungwon pulled you across the street and you reached the little house that was in the middle of the park with cats inside all wrapped up to get warm. "Kitten you know we can’t take home more, we already have two, the world won’t go on only with cats or animals you have to make children!" Pushed slightly Jungwon and corsí across the park "I’m sure not going to have children with someone who calls me Kitten or with an obsession for strawberries and chocolate" Jungwon ran to you and took you lightly in his arms "Y/n would be good with our beautiful genes, they would come out with beautiful cat eyes and the beautiful character of my beautiful Kitten!"

[blamebrampton]

Books talk to each other. Mostly because practically every writer is also a voracious reader, but also because books arise out of times and places and we share a lot of our worlds these days. So it’s unsurprising that several novels I have hugely enjoyed over the past few years share the theme of the antiheroine who is past all giving of the fucks. Naomi Novik’s powerful dark sorceress kept on her own tight leash in the Scholomance books was a joy to follow; Xiran Jay Zhao’s Iron Widow slashed her way into my heart and now Sarah Rees Brennan’s Long Live Evil has added to a list of beloved antiheroines that probably started for me with Becky Sharp in Vanity Fair.

Coincidentally, when considering how to describe Long Live Evil without significant spoilers, I realised that it shared several major themes with Vanity Fair. Young woman unfairly treated by fate decides to embrace her slut era to survive a war zone – both very accurate and wildly inaccurate for both. LLE opens with main character Rae in a hospital bed, teasing her sister about a book series they both adore. Rae is taking refuge in the story they have shared over years because it is one of the few things they have left: she is losing her fight against cancer and has been losing parts of her life, family and memory as that fight has progressed.

My personal hospital experiences have all been to do with major traumas rather than illness, which I vastly prefer because if you don’t die in the first couple of days, you usually start mending and you can immediately make plans to make the best of whatever you’ve broken. Rees Brennan, however, famously wrote a very funny, very horrible, ‘Kids, you won’t believe what shenanigans your girl’s been up to now, it’s only stage four Hodgkins lymphoma!’ post on her Tumblr or LJ (someone who has been hit in the head with taxis fewer times than me will doubtless factcheck that in the notes) about seven or eight years ago and then faced the very serious business of trying to live. The hospital scenes are painfully authentic, as are the stories of people who have left Rae as she slipped further out of everyday life.

For Rees Brennan, a loving family and peer group were there to hold her as close as they could. For Rae, only her beloved little sister, Alice, and Time of Iron, their favourite fantasy series, remain. They read the books together, remember adventures cosplaying and watching the musical, they wonder about the final instalment; for Rae it’s a joy she can still share (even if she doesn’t remember as much as she should), for Alice, it’s her two greatest loves. When a strange woman offers a door into the world of the book and a possible magical cure to Rae, she wants it as much as she disbelieves it.

Stepping into Eyam, the land of Time of Iron, Rae finds herself in the body of a villain doomed to die the next day. No worries! She’s thought and fought her way out of worse scraps than this in her past as a head cheerleader, let alone while battling cancer. She can use her knowledge of the plot to change things! If only she remembered more of the books…

Portal fantasies are common enough, but not all play by the same rules. This isn’t Narnia, where the magical world is more real than our own, for Rae, the world of the book is nothing more a tool to get her hands on the cure. She doesn’t need to care about any of these people, they’re not real. Most of them speak in a formal language that relies on the conventions of fantasy literature (there is an ongoing, warm-hearted skewering of all Game of Thrones-esque texts running through both the story and the in-text ‘quotes’ from Time of Iron) and half the characters are known more by their descriptions rather than their names. So she will play the Beauty Dipped in Blood, with her questionable morals, impractical clothes and centre-of-balance-distorting boobs for the weeks that will pass until the cure is available. Whoever she has to shuffle in the plot to secure a place beside that cure, she will shuffle. While she’s not out to kill anyone, it’s not as though they were ever really alive. Not like her. If she has to be the villain to survive, she will be an impeccable one. The people will cheer evil on!

Obviously, little goes to plan. Rae’s illness has taught her cruelty, but she hasn’t forgotten what it is to be kind. Even as she manipulates her role into ongoing main character, she realises that’s not how anyone gets a happy ending. That’s not how she can live with herself. As she comes to think of the other people in the story as real, they become more so, both in how we read them and in how they impact the story. Rae remembers what it is like to make friends, which she never meant to, but, oh, the luxury after years of watching people slip away!

As in previous novel In Other Lands, Rees Brennan has a long list of fantasy tropes to embrace and undermine, and her deft touch with humour is as evident as ever here, but her publishers call this her first adult novel and there is a shift in tone from her previous works. Anger is more real and lasting. Consequences are more significant. Understanding is reached for, even if it’s bitter. One of my favourite things is that she lets her female characters rage, but never judges those who can’t, whether because they’re too powerless or just too tired, and her male characters are allowed to be people if they choose to be — which all but the most vainglorious do.

I hadn’t paid much attention beyond checking the release date for the book, so didn’t realise it was the first in a series. For me, it worked perfectly as a standalone novel, even with the unended threads, which would have perfectly balanced Rae’s unfinished life. That said, I am very happy to know we will spend more time with these characters in the future. I want more. I do want to know if there is a hope for Rae, if this is the fever dream of a fading life, if this is the story Alice has told to ease her sister from the world or something else. There are a dozen characters I hope for, at least three happy endings that would bring joy. But don’t wait for the next books: sink your teeth into this one and believe what it says about the importance of listening to stories rather than just falling in love with characters. Though if you find yourself cheering on Rae, or her servant Emer, the elusive Eric, Horrible Hortensia or almost any of the others, I am the last person who will judge you.

[kindred-spirit-93]

maybe the real odyssey was the friends we made when on the way

just watched jays video in ithaca and its honestly the best thing ever. mr jalapeno never ceases to amaze, his dedication and sincerity are so wonderful and hes a joy to see and hear from always. its so cool to see how much he and his project grew, as did we alongside him.

anyway i got hit with all the feels lol, realising that with the ithaca saga epic comes to an end. the past 6 months have been a blast for me, this blog was made and through it i met so many of my beloved moots and shared good times with friends and strangers alike.

to me its the bittersweet reality of engaging with any fandom, that feelings are inevitable and to me at least all encompassing if im not careful. and ive only just realised but epic (in the 3 months ive been here lol) has become such a big backdrop to my life outside of the confines of uni and deadlines and stress... and so to have it end, and on the most beautiful notes no less, is making me quite emotional.

in a few days epic ends and with it the journey we all shared, but the friendships forged and memories made will shine softly on. its been a great joy and honour to have been a part of it all and get to watch it unfurl and im so grateful to have met my favouritest people ever. i greatly look forward to seeing what the future holds.

full speed ahead :)

--

and because i physically cant be serious for too long lol

i love yall so much :')

[blakbonnet]

curious about your favorite underrated artists/fic writers/creatives on here?? and maybe your specific favourite underrated fanwork??

Ooh. I love this question so much, anon ❤️

Underrated gif maker, and I say this with no bias, is definitely Ida @bizarrelittlemew because she just puts in so much effort in all her gifs. Ida looks through tutorials and then also does so much on their own, but mainly: if you look at all the recent gifs, they have such a unique Ida ™️ vibe to them. From rotoscoping (still don't know what that is) to playing with blending, Ida deserves to be right up there with one of the most creative gifmakers this fandom has produced recently.

Unfortunately I just very very rarely hang out reading ofmd fics T-T (I'm mostly in the hobbit and sandman fandom side of ao3) and there are a few writers I love and I tend to stick to them (xoxoemynn, forpiratereasons being the main ones) Most of what I read and like in the fandom is when a mutual ends up writing something that isn't modern au.

Having said that, underrated writer to me 100% is @palavapeite because their writing just never fails to transport me to whatever setting they're talking about. Listen, I just don't read modern AUs, they don't do it for me (def a me issue, I'm sure there are brilliant modern au writers in this fandom but it's something I filter out) but I would absolutely recommend this fic as something that brought me so so much joy, is fast becoming my more reread fic, because it did a perfect job with getting Stede's voice right. I can hear every single thing he says in my mind, it's SO good. Also their fic with priest!stede lives rent free in my head and I would soon find the time to read their non blackbonnet fics.

Another one is adamarks who, again, has such a good grasp on Ed and Stede's character that it doesn't matter which AU Jay has picked, it just always always works somehow. My favourite is this fic tho which is just so them that I might as well weep.

For artists, my recent faves (and I think they're underrated) are Lilo @harrylovesspaezle who's so so talented and I still can't get over that sketchbook tour - the growth and love for this show ough, @ofmderapolag whose pieces are just so so dreamy, and also @spookynadja whose style just floors me every single time.

I'd also like to shout out one underrated category, people who write such amazing text posts like @ourfag who obviously has the s3 scripts and is only sharing them with us in small increments due to the nda and @tulipseason for the currently unpublished book of "1 million ways I will articulate how much I love hit television show our flag means death"

and then there's my favourite most beloved cheerleaders who are always lifting up new writers and artists too like @marbledwings and @insteading ❤️ I especially love that everyone has a beautiful story with these two, you could ask any small or big writer in the fandom if they've been made to cry by wings or insteading and yeah, they're just lovely.

[smimon]

There was a very special gift for me under the tree 🥹 we did a gift exchange with @j-restlessgeek and I have received so much pure joy and colors and fandom love that I don't even know what to say omg

Look at the box. The animals have little boleros and bowlcuts. The moment I grabbed this I felt super emotional because my friend held it before??? Now I hold it??? It's almost as if receiving it in person??? 😭

And the inside. It is filled with so many great little things. Jay you outdid yourself with it 🥹💛💛💛💛 there is this card with a super cute Christmas kitty and so many kind words inside and also these super adorable kitty stickers

SPARKLATIVE STICKERS

And this. Oh could you possibly understand. Back in EU tour when I got a chance to meet Häärijä in Berlin I was so overwhelmed that I completely forgot to ask him for an autograph 😭 but Jay met him too in Munich the next day, and asked him for an autograph for me 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 and now I received it framed 😩 I'm cryin g

And look at these masterpieces??? Homemade cookies shaped like Käärijä and Häärijä??? Blue eyes??? And this picture with snow and sparklative details and Häärijä's cute detailed face omg 🥰 on my wall it goes look at it. So colorful and cute and sweet and adorable. FOAM ART my beloved 💛💛💛

And there is even more, there are washi tapes, there is a new spiky bracelet so I can wear them on both arms, there are PINS, and bootleg Häärijä socks so we can wear matching pairs before he releases something official omg 😭😭😭😭💛💛💛💛

Thank you Jay for all these gifts, for making my Christmas time a bit more colorful, for all the kind words 🥹 can't wait to meet you and hug you and aaaaaaaaa 💛💛💛💛💛💛🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂

[takataapui]

RPGaDay 2024 - Catch up post! (Days #1-6)

1 - First RPG bought this year

I bought the Solo But Not Alone 4 Bundle on Feb 20th, which as best as I can see technically contains/is my first TTRPG of the year!

2 - Most recently played

Root: The RPG my beloved Root! I just did session 0 of the campaign I'm running not too long ago, and we're playing again next week and I'm so incredibly hyped! ALSO, did folks see the new supplement book coming out? One of my players is the playbook where they seek out ruins so I'm gonna be all over that book!

3 - Most often played RPG

Alas, it's still DND 5e. It's the game I have the easiest access to, as I know multiple people running games who've invited me, and it's still an enjoyable time! I do wish I got to play other ttrpgs more regularly though. Or perhaps my game 'these little delusions', though it's an RPG in the loosest sense of the word, and it's not a willing playing.

4 - RPG with great art

Project ECCO has phenomenal art and layout, and combines those things so well. The use of colour and big blocks of it is incredible, and everything in the book is so so evocative in creating the feeling that the game desires to create.

5 - RPG with great writing

I know I'm not going to be the only one who says this, far from it, but I have to shout out Wanderhome for this. I mean, those picklists, c'moooon with it, ugh so incredible to read. Every word in the book is a joy to read, and has so much emotion in it. Nothing in Wanderhome misses. Ever. (Except maybe the swamp nature, I'm sorry Jay Dragon, I just love swamps too much to see them as anything except a source of joy and fun)

6 - RPG that is easy to use

stories around a fire is one I read a couple of years ago and sat in my brain for a really long time. It's very simple, but evokes a lot of feelings for me.

[mybeautifulchristianjourney]

Mornings and Evenings with Jesus by William Jay

Evening, August 31st

"Beloved, think it not strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened unto you." – 1 Peter 4:12

As if the apostle had said, in an enemy’s country opposition is to be looked for; in a vale of tears, weeping is to be reckoned upon. “Man is born to trouble, as the sparks fly upward;” and Christians are born again to trouble, for “Many are the afflictions of the righteous.” To how many accidents and diseases, disappointments and mortifications, are we liable! In what part are we not vulnerable! Our possessions render us capable of losses, and our enjoyments of sorrow!

All through life our affections feed our afflictions. And we suffer much more, on the whole, from friends than from foes. Our roses grow on thorns, and our honey wears a sting! And we need not wonder at this with regard to Christians, when we consider how necessary these exercises are for their spiritual and eternal welfare. Does not the vine, if it bear fruit, require pruning, “that it may bring forth more fruit”? Does not the ground require ploughing to prepare it for the reception of the seed? And do not the materials for the temple require hewing before they are fixed in their places? As said a good man one day, “Sir, I see that God cannot trust me either with health or wealth, and therefore keeps me sick and poor.” “The prosperity of fools destroys them.” And the prosperity of good men often injures them.

There is nothing, therefore, to be viewed as peculiar in our trials; there is nothing in them but what is common to men. Our brethren before us in the world were all afflicted in the same way. Perhaps we think that some believers are exempted from afflictions, and we are ready almost to envy them, for, while some afflictions are visible enough, others are more invisible. Yes, said a good woman one” day, when a person was mentioning to her her advantages,-“Ah,” said she, “you see my sails, but you do not see my ballast.” Whatever advantages any of us have, we must have proportionable ballast. “The heart knoweth its own bitterness, and a stranger intermeddleth not with its joys.” In some way or other the language of the Scripture must be fulfilled. “If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what so is he whom the Father chasteneth not?”

[anthrcpophagi]

some of the people who have made my year worthwhile both rp-wise and otherwise ♥

@okoden another year passes of us knowing each other and it's been as wonderful as the last ten uwu writing with you is always so much fun and rewarding because it gives me 1.) such a high standard to strive to meet 2.) freedom and comfort to write without worry and 3.) a fun and interesting dynamic with julian and whomever i write against him with. i love u to the moon and back and i hope we get to write just as much ( maybe more owo ) in the new year!

@theolderhenderson TIN my aNGEL I love u sm and there aren’t enough memes in the world to express how grateful I am to have met you. Even though I’m v bad at maintaining communications, we def need more movie nights and games to bug jay in

@horrorbites MIMI MY LOVE MY LIGHT i will follow you to the ends of the earth. you deserve all the happiness in the world and i hope the new year is kind to you!! i will continue to bug you and all your muses with maren for the rest of eternity ily

@holyfailed MEL MY BB I’ve only known you for a short time but I love u to pieces. All of your muses are wonderful or wonderfully terrible and I always get happy to see you online. after all who else could make a ship with such a dedicated fanbase? :eyes:

@havvkinsqueen TORI MY BELOVED you are such a wonderful breath of fresh air in the rpc and I hope you never ever doubt your talents and sheer ability to make people smile! we don’t write as much as I wish but you are always a joy to see on my dash and I love you to pieces

@everyoneismytoy babie! you’re one of the sweetest people on this website and you deserve the world. your passion for your characters is always inspiring to me and I love being able to peek inside Felix’s head through your writing 🖤

@zoomingupthathill I’m always so ashamed that I never reach out to you as much as I should and that we don’t write as much as I would love to (mostly because of the former 👉🏻😎👉🏻) but just know that I adore you!! every interaction I’ve ever had with you has been a delight and seeing you and max on my feed is always a bright spot for my day

@facepeeled my first reaction when you followed me was ELATION!! I even messaged you immediately because I was so excited to write with you and cricket. I think Maren and cricket are such a fun duo with such a strange dynamic and I can’t wait to write more of them in the new year 🖤

@paramcur I hope you didn’t think you’d escape my love barrage so easily!! the jin to my hobi, the seok to my deok, even if we don’t write as often as we used to I still love and appreciate your presence and you deserve the world and more

@langdhon every time I see you on my dash I squeal like a fangirl because your writing is always so top notch and your voice for Michael is so spot on. I love everything we’ve written so far and I hope we get to write even more in the new year!

@devilmass each time I see you come online I get giddy bc Rodrick is such a fun character that you’ve put so much love into and it shows. I love seeing you and Roddy on my dashboard and Maren loves her weird lil pastor friend

to everyone else!!! i love you as well!! if youre reading this you are appreciated and loved and i hope we get to interaction in the new year!

[enchantedchocolatebars]

Like To Love You (The Written Animatic) [Schedule here. "Clara" is my wittewife oc.]

(Au + canon divergent fic. Last year's b-day story.)

The gentle golden sun shone brightly in the technicolor sky of the Boiling Isles as this song began to play in the background.

Hope and joy permeated the atmosphere.

Inside his shared cottage home, Caleb was sleeping as he lay supine beneath the linen sheets of his bed, his blonde hair tangled atop his pillow.

The sunlight filtered through the curtains and onto his face, making him feel very comfortable.

No one was present on the other side of the bed.

Clara, his witch wife, peeked a hazel green eye through the crack of their half-open bedroom door.

Her excitement was quite evident on her face as she stood on the other side, holding a plate of piping-hot pancakes she had whipped up for him, with the golden cake on top having candles sticking out of it.

Today was a very special day.

Both Flapjack, her husband's cardinal palisman, and Syrup, her blue jay palisman, expressed their excitement through tweets as they each sat on the right and left side of her shoulder.

Clara, with a smile on her face, gently brought a finger to her lips, silently signaling them to conclude their chrips, which they did with a nod.

She softly laughed and used her magic to light the candles before entering the bedroom.

Clara quietly walked across the lukewarm floorboards to reach her sleeping husband.

Upon reaching his side, the short haired brunette began to gently sing the birthday song, with Flapjack and Syrup backing her up by chirping the melody.

As Caleb slowly woke up, he let out a yawn and saw the three by his bed.

Instantly, a smile that was a mixture of surprise and sunshine appeared on his face.

After singing the final lyric of the song, Clara gave Caleb the most loving smile and placed the plate on his lap.

With a soft chuckle, he thanked Clara, Flapjack, and Syrup for the surprise before blowing out his candles as the three cheered.

...

In the sitting room, Flapjack and Syrup fly over to Caleb with their gifts for him.

In their beaks, both birds have a small pebble that is beautifully wrapped in ribbon.

He happily accepts them.

Clara, who is standing in the center of the room, takes a small step to the right and reveals a tall gift box that was concealed behind her.

She gestures towards it with a great big grin on her face, wanting Caleb to open it.

Caleb was amazed by the size of the present. As he approached it, he took off the top and was surprised to see his brother standing inside, wrapped in ribbon and with a bow on his head.

Beardo Philip's features indicated his frustration with being there agasint his will (Clara figured that since Philip refused to tell her what his brother might like as a gift, she would make him the gift instead), while Caleb's eyes shone with glee at the sight of his baby brother.

Clara uses her magic to lift Philip out of the box with a playful expression, and Caleb immediately embraces him with affection.

Annoyed, Philip blows a huff.

Clara can't help but giggle at the two.

...

Next, Clara takes Caleb to a new woodshop that was built in town.

Inside, the couple takes a look at all the neat carvings that are there, as Clara buys a few for Caleb.

...

Later on, the two wearing winter attire take a trip to the Knee and exchange in a fun snowball fight while their two birdies wearing knitted winter hats watch from a tree branch.

...

When nightfall hits, the couple sit side by side in the snow with mugs of warm apple blood in their hands as they watch in amazement the sky glitter with glyph fireworks, their palisman nestling in their laps.

...

At home, Caleb was sound asleep in bed, his beloved right next to him.

All was right.

As Clara cuddled into his chest, she let out a blissful sigh.

The witch was able to hear her favorite human's heartbeat and desired to stay there forever as she slept with him.

Getting to spend another year with such a great guy was something she was so glad for.

(... I'd really like to love you.)

[weekend-whip]

find a word

i got tagged by @lightning-chicken to find the words snap, blue, echo and flicker in my fics/wips! Yessss I love this game ahaha thank u Key!! (I only have two active wips atm tho so don't expect too much variety ahaha)

i'd tag some people but I'm drawing a blank on people who haven't been tagged, soooo if you're a fic writer out there feeling eager here's four words for ya: dance, horror, flood, and opposite!

snap- In the Company of the Stars (ch4, unpublished)

“…he was so genuine, Jay. I know that seems stupid, but, you didn't have the chance to talk to him…I, man, you should’ve seen him! He moved like magic, had such a gentle way with words, was silly, sweet, a little shy, but...still wasn't afraid to tell me and show me just what he thought about me." Jay shakes his head. “Cole—" “I know how it sounds! But I’ve spent years dealing with people proclaiming how much they wanted to be with me—" “Oh no, that’s horrible.” “—and I can see it on their faces every time that they never really meant it!” Jay’s mouth snaps shut as Cole jumps back to his feet. He starts pacing back and forth, working himself up as he rambles. “It was never about me with those people; it was the power, the money, the prestige…!  Or that they felt obligated, or even pity sometimes, because how could I have gotten this far without finding anybody, right?! What kind of failure of a prince am I?!"

blue- In the Company of the Stars (ch4, unpublished)

Giddy with shameless glee, Cole scoops up the blue bouquet as well, inhaling the inviting floral aroma that makes him more ready for the day than any cup of coffee could ever hope to. He falls back upon his bed in a fit of laughter, coddling the bouquet in lieu of who he’d really like to be hugging right now. Even if the other party isn't here right now, Cole's never felt more beloved. Jay, meanwhile, leans in Cole’s doorway as the prince frolics around the room, beginning to sing wildly off-key. The retainer's expression remains absolutely gobsmacked, unsure of whether to be pleased that Cole’s found some sense of joy in this crazy situation…or show some concern for their guests who are wondering just who is "strangling an ostrich from three doors down".

echo- The Legend of the Green Ninja Lives (Ch4, unpublished)

Lloyd wouldn’t really call himself an early riser, so much as an…insomniac. If it’s not general restlessness, it’s nightmares, and if it’s not nightmares then it’s the thousand-and-one things going through his head at once. And with how yesterday went…it’s no wonder his thoughts just wouldn’t shut up. He tries pushing all his thoughts down, giving the world a golden hue as he does…but, that has the opposite effect consisting of total, complete silence in his mind. And an echoing nothing is just as unsettling as constant, self-depreciating thoughts. So, Lloyd wakes up. Even if only in the physical sense.

flicker- The Legend of the Green Ninja Lives (Ch--, unpublished)

"…I just wish life would stop hurting me." Lloyd stills. Gold flickers at the edge of his vision. He inhales, and his voices quivers as he says, "…yeah, me too."

[acourtcfmuses]

😍 ― admiring from afar 📌 ― a staple on the dash 🏆 ― 10/10 blog, would recommend

🐝  *  ―  𝑺𝑯𝑶𝑼𝑻-𝑶𝑼𝑻𝑺 𝑶𝑭 𝑨𝑾𝑬𝑺𝑶𝑴𝑬𝑵𝑬𝑺𝑺.  (  send in one or more of these symbols for me to pick one blog or multiple i wanna shout out that i think fit well into the category. explanations optional.  )

😍 ― admiring from afar

@legeandary - While we don't have anything ongoing, Belle is 100% someone I get excited for on my dash. I'm just an awkward racoon that struggled to get things going. But MAN, is she talented, both in writing so many varied muses and insane talents with themes and templates.

@mcdeofash - Kel has so many amazing muses on her roster and I adore seeing her on my dash so damn much. I'm just always never to interact with people. BUT I am slowly working up the courage to reply to an open or two to get the ball rolling. JUst and absolutely pleasure to follow!

@havvkinsqueen - If anyone isn't aware Victoria is one of the sweetest people in the universe. Even without knowing me, she had sent me some wonderful pieces of positivity to brighten my day and I'm so grateful to have her on my dash. We haven't done writing yet, but I look forward too!

📌 ― a staple on the dash

@theolderhenderson - If you're not following Tin, you're missing out. Elie is one of the most amazing OC's I've ever written with. Tin has put so much thought and time into Elie and her backstory that it's easy to forget that Elie isn't a canon muse (she is to me though okay??). Just top marks, Trash Panda Gang unite!

@managedxmischief - Having Ash in my life as both a friend (at least in my mind) and a writing partner is a joy to have. Ash is a fantastic writer and writes so many amazing mused over multiple blogs and does an amazing job with each and everyone and I always look forwards to our threads, and the tiktoks I'm sent on discord!

@childrenofslumber - Nicky is one of my favourite people, a super talented writer who put so much thought into her muses and their histories and is such a passionate supporter of both her muses and yours. I love listening to Nicky gush about her muses, or our ships and she is just always happy when you're speaking to her and is such a delight on the dash and OOC.

🏆 ― 10/10 blog, would recommend

@chaosxburned - JAY MY BELOVED!!! Firstly, I’m so glad Jay is back. I love her to death and I love every single one of her muses and the ships we have. Jay is such a talented writer you have no idea and I would recommend her blog(s) to EVERYONE. She is one of my favourite people honestly! I'm very blessed to have Jay in my life!

@advcnturewithin - AJ and I keep finding our way back to each other's blogs ever since we first started writing and have moved from writing partners over the years to in real life friends and have met up multiple times to hang out. AJ is scarily talented and you'd definitely see that in every single post, there is just so much thought and love behind each reply!

@talesfromthevoiid - Jay is someone I am always excited to write with and is such a lovely guy in all honesty. I'm slow as a snail, but Jay is always warm and excited about any threads or possible ships and is just such a pleasure to write with. He is just all around fantastic both IC and OOC!

[bookishardor]

A Last Journey to Lorien~

Or, A Dream Comes True Again.

In October 2019 I wrote a short blog entry about a course of events that I could owe to a book I pulled from a box in eleven years earlier.

The Ape Who Guards the Balance by Elizabeth Peters set the trajectory of my life on that otherwise unremarkable day, and the knowledge that I simply skipped home none the wiser of how deeply it and its author would affect my life still gives me goosebumps.

I have looked back at that moment countless, and at all the moments that stemmed from it, with elated and sometimes stupefied astonishment. Moments that include choosing to attend Hood College because I read MPM lived in Frederick and had an honorary degree from that institution, pursuing my budding interest in archaeology/art history and Egyptology, and even traveling to Egypt.

After graduating college, I discovered and helped cultivate the most amazing community of fans on Twitter, and through that channel TeamRamses and Beth Mertz, MPM’s daughter. The two of them have been such joys to get to know and talk to on social media, the main forum for the MPM fans I know. It’s not often I run across people who know the books in real life, so being able to talk to fans from around the world online is important to me.

Funnily enough, it is rarer for me to find casual fans of MPM’s work than it is for me to find people who actually knew her.

In 2017 with the launch of The Painted Queen, I met the owner of Wonder Book, Chuck, who had been dear friends with MPM, as well as Ray and Jay, Egyptologists who not only knew MPM, but also purchased and moved into her Frederick home a few years after her death.

Eventually I would come to work at Wonder Book, and in that fateful October of 2019, I was invited to see the house and gardens, MPM’s Lorien.

One might suppose with that jewel in my proverbial crown, that this would be the end of a superbly lovely and incredible tale.

Oh, Dear Reader, it was not the end.

At the end of April of this year, I had the privilege to attend Malice Domestic—an annual conference of mystery writers and readers. TeamRamses and myself were kindly invited by Beth to be a part of the fun in honoring her mother, and while I was only able to be there for that Saturday’s events, I had the most wonderful time.  

I brought along my mother and one of my best friends—my roommate from college actually, so you could say I kind of owe MPM even more for the push that had me attending Hood—and we had a blast listening to the panels and walking the book room. You all likely know how hard it was for me to not snatch up a million books to buy in that room…

And then it was time for the panel. And here is where I met TeamRamses for the first time in person. There is something so special about meeting someone who loves a book series and author just as much as you do, even if online, and then to finally be able to hug and talk face to face. And TeamRamses is so easy to talk to, and so insightful about books and fandom. Chatting with her on the balcony outside later in the evening while we waited for the banquet was delightful. We talked books and television, and brought up all of our favorite topic: Who is your dream Amelia Peabody cast? Maybe we can run a panel on that someday. Or better yet, a panel about a show itself! Wishful thinking, I know.

The authors gathered on the panel for MPM discussed her amazing characters and her lasting influence over their own works. As soon as Gigi Pandian opened the discussion on Amelia, with an introduction along the lines of, “Peters’ most famous and beloved heroine” I felt a suspicious tingling in my eyes. As Amelia might say, just a bit of dust, nothing more!

But truthfully, I felt briefly overwhelmed. It’s been nearly 10 years since MPM’s passing, but being in a roomful of people celebrating her and thinking of Amelia and seeing her so vividly in my mind as I have for 15 years, sort squeezed the breath from me for a second. All of this culminated when we all realized that Barbara Rosenblatt, the voice of Amelia, was in the crowd and graciously answered a fan’s question, and illuminated us all on MPM’s more mischievous side.

When it was time for the banquet later that evening, I was seated at the same table as Gigi Pandian and some of MPM’s old friends; her veterinarian and her husband and son. It definitely still hits me in hindsight, how incredibly lucky I was to have gotten that seat. To be able to talk to an author so influenced by MPM. To hear first-hand accounts from the friends that knew her so well, including a riveting tale involving a treed raccoon and some rather presumptuous hunters. I have added each little detail I’ve picked up from her friends to my ever-increasing regard for the woman. In hearing these stories, I know I am beyond fortunate.

At the next table, Beth and TeamRamses sat with Beth’s family and Chuck. Barbara Rosenblatt was also in their set, and when I turned suddenly to find Chuck standing with her at my side…Reader, you should have seen how wide my eyes got. I could feel them become starry saucers. I shook her hand and thanked her—in my mind for all of the beautiful narration she has done for the Amelia books and beyond—though in reality it probably looked like I was just thanking her for standing next to me. Let’s be honest, I kind of was. Chalk one up for me being completely calm and smooth, certainly. If you ever read this, Barbara, I promise I’m more eloquent when I’m not star-struck!

Unfortunately, I was unable to stay for the entire award ceremony that night, but I took with me so much from that dinner and the people I shared it with. To them I also wish to say, “Thank you.”

The drive home gave me time to reflect. What a wonderful day. What a wonderful gathering of people. What a wonderful woman MPM had been. I turned to my friend, not for the first time that day mind you, and asked, “So when are you gonna read Amelia?”

On the following Sunday I was invited, along with my mother and TeamRamses, to visit Lorien again once more before Ray and Jay move.

Now, as I said before, I’d been to Lorien once, in the fall of 2019. But coming around that corner and seeing the house on that little rise again…

At this rate, I feel most everyone has seen photos of the house and gardens. I don’t know if I could paint that same scene with words that can’t be gleaned from those images. If you have not seen the photos, you can likely Google the real-estate listing, or find it on the Facebook fan page: Another Shirt Ruined. I recommend it; they’re a feast for the eyes.

Nothing I say could do it justice, but there are a few things that can’t be extricated from photos, and I’ll do my best to explain here.

Once the visual beauty and appeal of the home has settled around you the next thing you notice is the scent. In fact, you may notice it as soon as you enter the solarium, but the architecture and bright glass walls of the room dazzle, where the smell calms. It permeates the air until you can’t help but pay attention, until it ensconces itself in your memory. Weeks later and I can still recall it; I think I always will be able to.

I’m not exactly sure what it was entirely. Lavender, undoubtedly, as Jay had it hanging in the kitchen, but also the earthy smells of the garden and trees outside. And perhaps, the stone itself imparted a lingering trace of aroma. The overall effect was dreamy and sweet and I could only imagine many a quiet, rainy day in that room, sipping coffee and dozing while the rain ran down the windows and accentuated the smell of the air.  

The next thing you notice is the love.

It’s in the very bones of that house. It’s in MPM’s desk and chair that were still in situ. It’s in the bookshelves and artwork and posters that were still hanging in the rooms and up the stair case. It’s in the custom Egyptian murals of the bathroom and the tiles on the kitchen floor and backsplash. And of course, it’s in the gardens; where beloved pets were buried and where so much time and care was given to creating a paradise. It’s in the stories I heard about gatherings and exploits her friends and family recalled.

And that’s where the love was most. In the people that gathered at the open house that day.

As we all walked the rooms of the home, listening to Beth and asking questions, I know we all fell into pockets of personal reverie. Where we could just imagine the life of the woman who’d lived there, who’d filled each room with her blazing personality. It felt like that I had actually met her before, in a sense. And it felt like I could turn a corner and find her there, petting a cat or tending a plant, or writing away at her desk.

After a tour of the house, TeamRamses, my mother, and I took a turn through the garden, ruminating on all the reasons why it would be so easy to never leave the property. It’s simply idyllic, even in the misty weather of that day.

And love was to be found lastly in the performance given by Barbara Rosenblatt.

As a delightful treat for all of us, before she had to drive back up to NYC, Barbara read an except from The Curse of the Pharaohs, the second book in the Amelia Peabody series. Fans will know the scene well—where Amelia and Emerson return to Evelyn’s to collect their progeny…little baby Walter Peabody Emerson.

Ramses, to those of us who know him best.

It was surreal to stand there in MPM’s home and listen to Barbara read. I’m still in a daze thinking about it. A little teary, too. I never gave audio books the time of day until I thought to try the Amelia recordings as a reread method. And to hear her voice come alive in the home where so many of the stories were written? To hear Emerson bellow and Evelyn laugh, to hear baby Ramses proclaim in somber, serious tones, “it is a femuw. A femuw of a winocowus…”

I have said before that somewhere in my mind and heart, I am always in the desert of Amarna with Amelia and Emerson. The first book in the series is my favorite for so many reasons, least of which is the nostalgia and peace it brings me. My original copy is well loved, and I know pieces of it by heart. Part of me is sitting with them at the fire, looking at the stars and listening to the jackals, chiding Walter and Evelyn’s young love, and scoffing at Lucas. Part of me is always snickering at the feelings brewing between Amelia and Emerson, even as he sets his own pocket on fire and she bosses him around.

In the same vein, I know part of me will always be standing in that solarium with MPM’s nearest and dearest, listening to Barbara read. The smell of lavender, rain, and stone in the air, the sound of all our laughter, and the sense of MPM just out of eyeshot, chuckling with us all.

I write my own story, from time to time. I’m not very disciplined with it, at least, not as much as I used to be. I have varying feelings about it, and I don’t imagine it will ever be much more than a tale of my own whimsy. But I do feel like every time I add even a little bit to it, that I’m adding to a love letter to MPM. And I do think I could add endlessly to a love letter to MPM. Writing my story, reading her books, talking to fans and friends on Twitter—it’s my way of saying thank you, thank you, thank you a million times over to an author I owe so much to.

So does the story end with the last visit to Lorien, the last glimpse into the sanctuary of a woman I can only wish to have met? Maybe. But so many things have happened these last 15 years that can find threads trailing back to my decision to read that book.

I can’t wait to see where she leads me next.