#jaune is dense as a rock

[quattro-bacheema]

Weiss: Hey Jaune~ I'm still single, did you know? 😏

Jaune: Whoa, really? I'm still single too! 😯

Weiss: *thinking* That's right Jaune, we're both single! Now, all you need to do is ask me out and we'll... 🥴

Jaune: But being single doesn't bother me! 😌

Weiss: Huh? Wh- what do you mean? 😨

Jaune: Well, since we're both single, I know we'll have each other's backs while we sail the storm of singleness together! 😄

Weiss: I... see... 😐

Weiss: *thinking* Gods, how can someone be so dense and lovable at the same time?? What did I do to deserve this?? 😫

[spahhzy]

Neo: Roman!

Roman: Oh no...

Neo: I need your help!

Roman: That depends. Does this plan involve a certain blonde haired blue-eyed dense as rock guy?

Neo blushed.

Roman: No.

Neo: Oh, come on!

Roman: Neo, last time you proceeded to use me by sitting on my shoulders and attempted to flirt with Jaune, only for him to A: Not understand what you meant by 'two to tango' he thought you somehow meant CONNECT FOUR and B: He called my colonge cheap, Rude!.

Neo: But this one is foolproof, I promise!

Roman: That's what you said about the last ten plans...

Neo: 🥺

Roman: Oh no, that won't work on me.

Neo: 🥺

Roman: ...

Neo: 🥺

Roman: You suck...

Neo: Yes!

Roman: What's your ingenious plan this time.

Neo: Okay so I need you to dress up as this clown-

Meanwhile.

Jaune: I should ask Neo out on a date sometime.

[arc-misadventures]

Friends V

Jaune’s body once again peacefully rested upon the cool grass of behind his room at Haven Academy. The cool nights breeze as the wind blew the grass was soothing upon his ears. Jaune felt as if he could fall asleep here and now, a dream of happier, sinpler times. But, reality seldom gave him such opportunities.

Nora: Jaune!

Jaune: Yes, Nora…?

Nora: What’s this about you saying Team RWBY’s not your friends! Or that Ren and I, aren’t your friends either?!

Jaune: Tell me… do you really think I’m dense?

Nora: W-What?

Jaune: I’ve heard you people call me dense before; do you really think I’m dense?

Nora: A little…

Ren: You never really did get the hint that Weiss wasn’t into you.

Nora: Or… Or that…

Jaune: That, Pyrrha liked me…?

Nora: Yeah…

Jaune: Well, I admit, I am a bit dense. But, nowhere near as dense as… how did Yang put it…? Ahh yes; as dense as a diamond, encased in steel, locked away in a vault…

Nora: You heard that?!

Jaune: Yes, and as far as Yang’s insults go… that is among her more terrible ones. More in context of the joke mind you, poor metaphor…

Ren: Jaune, what does this have to do with anything?

Jaune: Right, so you all thought that I was as dense as a rock… That I would never notice that Weiss, didn’t like… That Weiss hated me. And that Pyrrha… loved me… You all thought I was too stupid to realize a damn thing… Well, did any of you ever think I actually knew? That Weiss hated me, and that Pyrrha… That Pyrrha loved me…

Nora: Y-You knew?!

Jaune: I did…

Ren: If you knew, then why didn’t you ever try anything?

Jaune: Look at things from my perspective; A novel idea, I know… I have never had any, any friends before. And those who claimed to be my friends, were just trying to use me to get to one if my sisters. A few others were… they were just being nice to me… Felt more like they were pitying me honestly… So, imagine my surprise, when a girl, I’ve never talked to, suddenly calls: ‘Tall, blond, and scraggly?’

Nora: That it was an insult?

Jaune: See, you’re not paying attention! I thought she liked me! She may have insulted me, but dammit, it was the nicest insult I’ve ever had. Took me until the dance to finally get the hint that she didn’t like me, hated me in fact. Coincidentally this was also the time I finally clued in on how much Pyrrha liked me. Or as you would put it Nora; how much Pyrrha liked-liked me…

Nora: You… you knew…?

Ren: For how long?

Jaune: Around the time we started training together…

Nora: Y-You knew she liked you, this whole time?! And you didn’t do anything?!

Jaune stood from the grass and turned to face them. His eyes red from rage, and red from the tears fell, uncontrollably from his eyes.

Jaune: I knew that she liked me! Did I know how much she liked me?! As a friend, a brother, a lover?! And did I know how I felt about her in turn?! Cause guess what, I didn’t!

Jaune: Pyrrha, was nice and welcoming too everyone she met! How am I supposed to know her feelings for me weren’t platonic, but romantic?! I’m not the dense bastard you thought I was! I’m inexperienced! I didn’t know what the fuck was going on!

Jaune: So sure it’s obvious to everyone that these two are in love, but did you ever take my inexperience into consideration?! No, because it was, and always has been about Pyrrha!

Ren: What do you mean?

Jaune: “Hi Pyrrha! Oh, hey Jaune. Hey, Jaune, seen Pyrrha? Why isn’t Pyrrha team leader? Pyrrha! Pyrrha! Pyrrha!” Was I invisible to all of you?!

Ren: Jaune, that’s not true!

Jaune: Ha! Bullshit! Everyone was looking for Pyrrha, because she was Pyrrha freaking Nikos! And, I was just the lucky bastard who managed to become her partner! Everyone was her friend, and I just so happened to be there!

Ren: That’s not true and you know it, we’re you friends, Jaune!

Jaune: Like hell you are! We lost Pyrrha and you barely say a damn thing! I’m left all on my own while you two are off helping one another, supporting each other whilst I’m left all on my own!

Nora: We never left you, we were always here for you!

Jaune: Here?! We were in the middle of a fight with a Nuckelavee, and you two are busy flirting?! Where the hell were you then, and where the hell are you now?!

Nora: That… that was… uhh…?

Ren: Jaune, that’s not…

Jaune: Actually, it brings up a good point! Why the hell are you two! You two, criticizing me, about not noticing that someone was in love with me?! I’ll tell you why! Because you, Ren, are too emotional stunted and repressed to notice a girl pinning so hard for you, that she might as well become a pine tree! And you, Nora, are too much of a coward l, whose too scared to see everything she holds dear to her, go up in flame! I’m clueless and I don’t know what I’m doing when it comes to love and romance! But what the hell are you doing?!

Ren: Jaune, I… I uhh…?!

Nora: It’s not that easy! I care so much about, Ren, that I’m scared to lose him! And I can’t lose him, he’s the most important person in the whole world to me! I love him so much that I… I… oh…

Ren: You felt the same way about Pyrrha… you knew she loved you, but you were scared to lose her… to lose everything if you told her… to lose not a lover, but you’re the only person you considered your friend…

Jaune: And finally you understand why I did nothing… Because what could I do… I was going to ask Pyrrha on a date of sorts after the festival… Thought it would be a good tome to figure things out, everything would be slowing down then… But…

Nora: I’m sorry, Jaune. You were right, we never tried to see anything from your perspective, only from Pyrrha’s… I’m sorry, Jaune… I’m so sorry…

Jaune: Don’t be; too little, far, far too late…

Ren: Now what… do we go our separate ways or… or are you staying with us…?

Jaune: I’ll stay… I’ll stay as long as Cinder still lives… till then… I don’t really care what you do, just figure something out already…

Ren: A-Alright… Goodnight, Jaune… Let’s go, Nora. We’ve overstayed our welcome…

Nora: Jaune… Jaune I’m…

Jaune: Just go, Nora… Just go…

The duo left and soon the Knight was left once more all alone. Always alone…

///

There was once an ask that went along with this.

But… it was deleted in a fit of fury and frustration whilst I was failing to write this…

Sorry…

[razorblade180]

RWBY stuff

Weiss:Guys are so weird.

Jaune:Explain.

Weiss:Like….you all can forget the age of your own family members but remember your first crushes favorite candy.

Yang:Facts!

Jaune:Hehe, oh Roxanne and her pop rocks.

Weiss:See!?

Jaune:Listen, it’s hard to explain. Somethings stick with you.

Sun:He’s right. Jessie and her lolipops

Neptune:Rebecca and her Babe Ruth.

Ren:Sherry and her apple tarts.

Nora:…..

Nora:Who the fuck is Sherry? I’ve known you forever! How am I not the first crush!?

Ren:Unfortunately for you, I knew Sherry at age four. She liked it whenever-

Girls:…..

Ren:You just don’t understand! It’s special okay!?

Jaune:*hugging ren* Shhhh they don’t understand.

Neptune:Weiss, I wouldn’t dance with you because if you would’ve laughed at me then I’d randomly remember it years later and want to die.

Weiss:Don’t be dramatic. My opinion isn’t that important.

Everyone:Oh hush, you’d ruin lives.

Weiss:Hey!? I thought some of you were in my side.

Ruby:Cringe and regret assaults all genders, and you use it without mercy.

Sun:Girs aren’t normal either. You hate each other in silence and will even laugh with one another! Just fight!

Yang:I fight them.

Guys:And that’s what makes you so lovely.

Yang:*smiles* Validation.

Blake:You all are ridiculous. Though…the boys have a few points.

Weiss:Traitor!

Blake:Weiss I’ve seen you spend hours on your dew when you could brush it for ten minutes and be still be one of the prettiest people around.

Yang:It’s very aggravating.

Pyrrha:I think boys can be rather dense.

Jaune:What makes you think that.

Pyrrha:Well….ummm….

Nora:Hehe, maybe girls have trouble being straightforward sometimes.

Pyrrha:Nora….

Nora:I’ll shut up. Please be nice to me. We’re on the same side.

Ruby:Scary Pyrrha is scary.

Yang:No kidding.

Weiss:I just don’t understand why some guys can be so terrible at romance.

Blake:Honestly same.

Yang:Terrible.

Nora:Agreed.

Pyrrha:I don’t wanna be mean.

Ruby:Anxiety.

Sun:One, Ruby you’re sweet. Never change. Two, you really wanna know the dark secret?

Girls:Yes!

Sun:*grabs Jaune* You have the boys who never knew how to socialize so they always came across weird when all they had to do was speak instead of overthink.

Jaune:Don’t make it sound easy!

Sun:*grabs Neptune* You got “my heart was broken once so I’ll never open my heart again.”

Neptune:C’mon man…

Sun:*looks at Ren*….

Ren:…

Sun:I won’t out you like that man.

Ren:*nods*

Nora:Why does he get a pass?

Sun:Out Pyrrha.

Nora:Never- ohh it’s a code thing. Understandable.

Ruby:What’s your problem?

Sun:Me? That’s easy. I’m not bad at romance.

Neptune:He’s telling the truth.

Weiss:Then why are you single?

Sun:I guess nobody likes me. Oh well.

……

Everyone:*hugs Sun*

Sun:What’s happening?

Ruby:Calming your anxiety?

Sun:….

Sun:I don’t like this conversation anymore.

[heliosthegriffin]

The Adventures of Shota Jaune

Arthur Arc always knew his son was going to be special, it had been seven daughters straight that the Brothers had given him, he was due for a son. Good things come to those who hold strong and have faith.

His son would be amazing.

It was a given!

He didn’t expect how right he was.

How was he suppose to know his son would come out of the womb glowing like a disco ball!

The nurses were running around, his wife was crying, and Arthur had dick all of an idea what was going on.

Arthur winced has the doctor doctor cradled his broken hand while being escorted out of the room, all Arthur had seen was a flash of light and a cry of pain, before a nurse caught his falling son.

Now Arthur held his glowing baby boy as his wife was being loaded up with Morphine wanting to now what’s wrong with her baby.

Shit’s fucked.

Arthur looked at his baby boy.

“Your name is Jaune Arc,” The baby slept in his arms. “you’re going to be a trouble maker aren’t you? Well, that’s fine, we have plenty of trouble makers in the family. You’re going to fit right in.”

And so the Arcs were once again black-listed from another hospital, and Baby Jaune Arc had already broken a man’s hand.

-----------

Four year’s Later....

Arthur walked groggily to his son’s room, light bleeding from underneath the door.

It was midnight he should be asleep.

His son’s giggling told him otherwise.

He opened the door and called out to him. “Jaune, it’s midnight. Why did you turn your lights on?”

His son turn his head to him looking embarrassed as several floating orbs of light rotated around him.

Arthur felt his jaw drop. When could he do that?!

“Sorry, I just couldn’t sleep. I’ll go to bed soon.”

Arthur felt the words on in one ear and out the other, had his son found his semblance? 

“Jaune, what are those lights?” Arthur said weakly to his son.

Jaune looked confused for a moment looking around. “I didn’t turn on lights, though,” Then his expression brightened, literally as a orb went pass his face. “Oh that! You said I could have lights on at bedtime, and sometimes I got scared, so my Orra would make me flashy flash, but that just made more shadows. So, I tried to to make my Orra bigger, but it wouldn’t so I tried to make it move over the shadows, and it did!”

Arthur watched in fascination as the globes orbited around his son. His son really was special. This was beyond basic Aura manipulation, this was beyond anything an expert could do. Darkness be damned, even Arthur himself prided himself on his aura control couldn’t doing anything half as intricate as this!

“How did you get it to move like that? Your Aura that is?” Curiosity bled into his voice. It stung his pride a little bit to ask his son tips on Aura manipulation, but his pride as a father and his own want to know how won out.

Jaune looked at his father confused. “I just did?”

Arthur looked at his son patiently. “Could you show me how to then?”

“Um, ok.” His son said reluctantly. 

Arthur watched his son carefully, activating his aura and having it circulated into his eyes to be able to see his son on a auric level.

Arthur flinched back in shock and nearly blind.

His son had so much damn aura! It was like looking at the freaking sun at high noon.

Arthur could barely even see his son’s figure through the light, a barely visible shadow in the midst of a bonfire of pure white light that danced and waved on currents that could not be understood even by a expert like himself. Light filled the room and a revelation hit Arthur. He himself was under his son’s aura, the entire damn house was!

Even outside the room he could see the currents of his son’s brilliant aura circulating around the house and even leaking into the wood and stone! He was reinforcing the house, and it was even being absorbed into his own aura and he hadn’t even noticed.

His son had been subconsciously leaking aura and he hadn’t notice at all! It was so invasive and overwhelmingly aggressive, but deviously subtle that it took a hold on everything it was near.

His son was a walking talking breathing, Aura reactor. No wonder he lit like a disco-ball when he was born, no wonder he fired off the occasional flare of aura, no wonder his all of his sister had awakened their aura, no wonder the fucking cat did too!

His son was enhancing everything around him, Arthur himself hadn’t even questioned why his own reserves had enlarged, his son did it.

It was a open knowledge that reserves just increase with time and practice, but his had nearly doubled over the last four years.

Arthur shut down his Aura Sight, any more and it might give him damage his control.

Arthur no longer needed an explanation as to why his son could create light-balls. It was easy enough explanation to himself, he was just separating dense sections of aura and have them follow the auric currents he created.

Arthur knew what he had to do now, his wife was going to kill him for it, but Jaune not mastering his talents would be the graver sin.

“Jaune do you want to be a huntsmen like your dad?”

Arthur frantically cover his eyes as his son squealed and flash-banged him with happiness.

Even through his aura he could feel a sun-burn, well aura-burn, forming.

“I’ll take that as a yes.”

-----------

One year later....

Arthur’s eye’s twitched as his wife tried to get his son off the hill he made out of his sisters unconscious bodys.

“Jaune, please come down, they’re your sisters.” Victoria said trying to coax they son down.

“NO!” Jaune said with a stomp, pained groan coming from the sisters. “They’re mean and tried put me in a dress again!”

“They’re doing that because they love you and want to see how cute you’d look!”

Jaune groaned. “You’re in on it too!” He said with another stomp.

“Oww,” Another groan came from the pile.

“No, Jaune I just want to see my little man look pretty!”

“I don’t wanna be pretty I wanna be man’y man!”

“You can be a manly man,” A gleam came to his wife's eyes and Arthur groaned. “After you wear this dress!” Victoria said pulling out a dress and lunging at her son.

Arthur shook his head as his wife and only son tussled. “Jaune I’ll be waiting in the backyard when you want to practice.”

“No, Jaune no! Don’t use the back-breaker aaagggh!”

“NO, Jaune don’t suplex me into your sisters! Aggh!”

--------

One year later.

Arthur watched his son play in the parks playground, a nice day with a clear blue sky and a cool breeze that would come around with a the pleasant smell of evergreens and the clean lake in the park, Arthur taking a moment to admire the small waves going across the water to lap at the beaches edge.

Ah, it couldn’t get more relaxing than this.

‘Shink-Break.’

He hated when he was right. He had run across the park as fast as possible to stop the blade from hitting his son.

He really shouldn’t have bother though, as Jaune grasped a broken pocket knife blade in his hands.

An absolutely tiny little thing was holding the other end, a horrifically skinny child with brown, pink, and white hair was trembling as Jaune held her in the air.

Arthur nearly gagged in disgust as got within ten feet of the children.

The smell was nose-burning and made his eye’s water in pain.

Still though Arthur look at the child his son was holding in pity. The poor thing could have been much older than his son but probably didn’t come up above three feet, they were dress in what might have been clothes at one point but had been caked in so much filth, dirt, and grime that they might as well been wearing rags.

So skinny, so damn skinny.

Arthur grimaced at the sight, the child was on the verge of starvation. A fire then lit in his belly, if he ever got his hands on whoever left a child like this he would swear on his word to kill them, no excuses, he was a huntsman he had enough sway that he could get away with it.

“Jaune, what happened? Also, put the child down.”

Jaune shrugged. “Can’t if I do she’ll do her shiny thing and disappear again.”

“Her shiny thing? Does she have an Aura Jaune?”

“Yeah, an sembence.”

“Semblance, yeah. So, could you give her to me, so that we could talk about how this happened?”

Jaune shrugged and handed the child to him, who started thrashing violently as they were being handed over, then Jaune stopped and hugged her, even as they were thrashing, her broken knife chipping at his aura.

“Actually, dad, I think I’ll hold onto her.” Arthur sighed with pity, and nodded his head. It was probably better that she didn’t get pasted around it might give them a panic attack.

“That’s fine, so what went on for this to happen?”

Jaune started rocking the child in his lap, even as they stabbed at him, but the fight quickly left them. 

“Well, I was playing, and I got tumbie rumbles, and went to get an ice-cream, then my ice-cream went gone, and I was not happy, then I did a ohra thing, and could see that she was eating my ice-cream.” Jaune took a breath and Arthur absorbed the information.

“So, I ask her why she stole my ice cream and why she’s so smelly, she got mad, well actually she got scared, an tried to punch me, then when she hurt her hand she disappeared, so I tried to find her again, then I picked her up and she tried to stib me.”

Arthur nodded and sighed again. He got on the ground and looked at the child, he gave the friendliest smile he had.

“Hi, I’m Arthur and this is my son, Jaune. What’s your name?”

The child looked away.

Arthur frowned for a second before trying again. “Do you have any parents? Or a guardian? Could you bring them to us, or have them come here?”

‘So that I can beat them to death with my bare hands.’ Arthur thought. 

The child said nothing.

“Are you hungry? We can get you some food? You want to go get some food?”

The child still said nothing, but there was a slight tremble to them now.

“Hey dad, um.” His son said. “There’s a thing, on her, It don’t look so good?” Jaune said pointing at the girls neck.

Arthur leaned in closer and recoiled immediately.

A black leaking smile was gashed across her neck leaking white and yellow pus.

“We’re going to the doctor, immediately!”

-------

Two months later.

Arthur smiled as his newest daughter was following son around like a duck. It had taken a little while and a couple stab wounds, but Neo had finally given into the Arc charm and let herself be adopted.

She was finally gaining a healthy weight and color to her skin, and her hair was combed and cut properly. Dressed up in nice clean clothes. Oddly enough she was actually older than Jaune by about three years. That had only made Arthur more incensed to find her parents.

Arthur had also been true to his word. More than happy to keep it actually.

Vale may be down one councilwoman, but the world was a better place so it balance out. Shame they couldn’t keep his face out of the press, but he sent his message.

-------

Six months later

Arthur glared at Saphron as she fidgeted with her girlfriend Terra.

The tweens had lost not only Jaune, but also Neo. In the middle of Vale.

Arthur sighed and ran a hand down his face, then pointed at the ferry where Victoria and his other daughters waited.

“Go wait over there with the rest of them. I’m sure your mother and Gris will have words for you two.”

“But Dad-,” “Mr. Arc please-”

Arthur stared firmly at her and Terra. Two tweens vs a now world-class huntsman would never in a million years be a fair contest.

They bowed their heads with shame and sulked over to his wife and eldest daughter, Gris the only huntress out of his daughters.

Arthur tried not to smile, as his daughter and her girlfriend got torn a new one, but he could only try so hard.

To be honest, however. He wasn’t worried for Jaune that much or Neo if Jaune was there. With the boys Aura and her Semblance they were damn near untouchable even for him.

No, he was more worried about-

‘KAAAA-BOOOOOOM!!’

The colateral damage.

So, Arthur did what he always did to find Jaune, follow the sounds of destruction.

He found Jaune sitting and talking to nothing in the middle of what was probably at one time a nice three story building, along with what might of been a nice, friendly gang of Vacuon thugs judging by their skin tone and tattoos that led back to the Sand Devils Gang.

They weren’t much more than bone splinters, red mist and a little bit of viscera now.

If he wasn’t so proud of his son, he might be terrified.

“So, Jaune mind telling me what happened here and where your sister is?”

Jaune jumped at the sound of his voice, bringing his hands up the way he taught him and probably how he just annihilated those men.

He relaxed when he saw Arthur and smiled. “Oh, hi dad! You can drop the barrier Neo and Em,”

Em?

Arthur had a feeling that they had another one.

“So Dad, we met a new friend, and she wanted to show us her house, but a group of meanies where here and wanted to make us do things, so I made Neo and Em hide, while I took care of it!”

Yep, they got another one.

Neo shattered into existence along with green-haired mocha skinned girl who looked absolutely terrified.

“This is Emerald, she lives here-, Oh no! I wrecked your house, I’m sorry!” Jaune looked at his dad paniced. “Dad! She can stay with us, right?!”

Arthur nodded and sat down to get eye level with the children.

Neo was holding Emerald and soothing her, and Emerald looked like she might run away at any moment.

She looked around nine, less dirty than when they first found Neo, but still under-fed and probably a street kid.

“Ok, you can stay with us.”

Emerald’s eyes went wide with shock, but Neo and Jaune pulled her into a hug.

------

Two months later...

Emerald was following Jaune and Neo like a moody cat, she had taken to living in with them better than Neo, even if she still pickpocket them some times and hid in the crawlspace.

Turns out she had still living parents. Arthur had made sure to extract all in the child support she was owed, and made sure they left her in their wills.

Too bad they suffered such tragic accidents afterwards. But, who would miss some Vacuon Dust Baron, or some Atlas Upper-Class Trash. 

Plus who cared if he was wanted by Vacuo or The Ace Ops, he was already blacklist anyway in both kingdoms.

-----

Two Months Later...

“Happy Birthday to you, happy birthday Jaune Arc!”

His string bean boy had turned seven years old today.

He was so happy for him.

Arthur looked at his son blow out the candles.

A wind blew over the campfire as storm was on the horizon.

They were celebrating his birthday here in Shion this year.

Arthur had a special present for his son this year, something to celebrate starting to train him in earnest as a huntsman. Even if he was as powerful as some huntsmen in training.

Boy would he be a monster... Well, more of one.

Arthur slid a long rectangular package across the camp table to Jaune.

“What’s this?”

“Open it up.”

Jaune looked at it and then tore open the wrapping.

A stainless steel practice sword and a heater-shield made for his size.

Jaune looked at his father with tears in his eyes. “I love it!” He squeaked out.

Victoria did glare at Arthur along with Gris, but they and the rest of the family squeled athis reaction.

They were just jealous he got the best gifts.

Arthur looked at his son seriously. “You understand what this means, Jaune? You’re going to have to start being a real huntsman now, no more regular school, we’re going to home-school you, and anytime you’re not training you’re going to be learning, understood?”

Jaune looked nervous briefly, but nodded resolutely. “Yeah, I get it. Plus I didn’t like anybody at school anyway, they were always mad at me for some reason or the girls would run away screaming.”

Arthur drifted his gaze to Em and Neo, who looked away innocently. “I guess it’s time for you two to start huntress training too, Jaune could use some partners.”

“Yes!” Emerald said joyfully, as Neo cheered with her.

Victoria stilled glared at Arthur, but he ignored it. “Who wants cake?”

------

Later that afternoon...

Clouds were starting to blow in and Arthur was gathering his family into the fortified cabins. It was going to start a down pour soon.

That’s when Arthur heard it, a moan of pain.

Arthur sighed and walked into the woods. His son, his newer daughters, and some boy he’s never seen before, all circled around a black haired Grimm masked woman who was on the ground in pain.

“Alright, what’s up this time?”

Jaune kicked the woman in the gut, elcipting a groan from her.

“She’s mean, kept trying to make us go with her, then made Vern over there fight us,” Arthur looked at the boy name Vern, who was staring awestruck at his son. Vern noticed him and quickly nodded, Arthur then noticed a black eye on the boys face and several other wounds. 

“I beat him though, and Vern got all scared, the Lady then tried to make us walk through a portal, I said no. She got mad. So she tried to beat us up, so Neo and Em gave her the run around while I beat her up. Then she got flashy eyes and tried to blasted us, but Neo and Em gave her the run around and she hit herself, then we all gang up on her.” Arthur looked at his son and daughters in amazement, not even hunters and huntress-in-training and they took on a rogue huntress with a powerful semblance and dust capablities. He was so proud of them!

The his eyes drifted back to Vern.

Arthur had a feeling he knew this song and dance already.

Arthur on down on one knee.

“How do you feel about adoption?”

------

One month later...

Raven Branwen, Raven notorious coward Branwan, was the rogue huntress his children caught. Nobody believe him though and now he had the nickname Tribe-Hunter.

Team STQ was quite interested in handling her imprisonment. That was none of Arthur’s business. Ozpin had been quite generous on his bonus though and gave him plenty of vacation time with his family.

Oh, and Vern was actually named Vernal and a girl. He really should have expected that by now. She didn’t take to family very well, but once a pecking order was established she was better behaved, even if she challenged him or Jaune for leadership.

Arthur held his wife closely as they watched their children play in the backyard. Well, Jaune and the new three.

They were practically a little team. Vernal was even calling his son ‘Boss.’

Arthur though couldn’t help feel something inside him watching his children beat the shit out of each other. That this was only the start of craziness.

His wife then gripped his hand. “I want more.”

“I feel like we don’t have a choice anymore.” But the idea didn’t bother Arthur much.

[the-wayward-arc]

The Emperor reacting to Jaune being dense as fuck when it comes to Pyrrha

Pyrrha: Um J-Jaune?

Jaune: What's up Pyrrha?

Pyrrha: I-I was wondering if you wanted to go see that new action movie later t-today? My agent gave me tickets for the premier.

Jaune: Really? Sure!

Pyrrha: Really!? We can make it a D-

Jaune: we can invite Ren and Nora too! We can all hang out together.

Pyrrha: oh yeah...we can do that.

*Jaune's scroll begins ringing*

Jaune: Ren? Hel-

Nora: Jauney! Ren and I got detention!

Jaune: What?!? How?

Nora: we were making pancakes and I thought what about a pancake cake! So I went to use the oven in the cafeteria but it exploded! Now Goodwitch is mad and is having us clean up the mess as detention! I-*distant Miss Goodwitch* Miss Valkyrie! Put down that scroll! Another day of detention for you! *scroll disconnects*

Jaune: Uh...looks like it's just us Pyrrha. Ren and Nora have detention for the day.

Pyrrha: Oh no, that's tragic. We can take them somewhere else next time. *internally* Yes! I'm sorry Ren and Nora but thank you fates!

-Imperial Palace-

Emperor: You're welcome child.

Dorn: Father, why did you put that girls listening device into that oven? Would it not have been easier and somewhat safer if you just made the oven burn something to make smoke?

Emperor: they would have been fine. The people of this planet fight wannabe daemons on a daily basis. A tiny explosion is nothing. Plus it needed to attract the attention of a nearby teacher, it worked.

Magnus: I agree with father for once, they needed to stay out of Pyrrha's way. Our nephew is as dense a damn rock when it comes to seeing her feelings for him.

Dorn: One cannot see feelings brother, you can only express them through words and actions to convey your meaning. But I agree, Our Nephew wouldnt be able to understand the feelings she has for him even if she put a massive sign in front of him.

Emperor: Agreed. I have no clue as to why he is as dense as damn terminator armor.

Dorn: It is very dense.

Emperor: Yes. But now, she shall take her chance and seize like the champion she is...plus those feelings of her are starting to Boil over so he better get a clue before she breaks his pelvis!

Magnus: Wait why would she bre- *broken glass of realization* Oh...

Emperor: RED AND BLONDE HAIRED BEAUTIFUL GREAT GRANDCHILDREN!

(Please ignore the fact that I forgot to capitalize all the Emperor's lines lol)

[real-jaune-isms]

Volume 7 Chapter 3 Review

My first time with this, it’s probably gonna be longwinded and awkward...

Starting off with 3 scenes basically happening at once is interesting. The airship flying them in to start the mission, Ruby and Jaune getting briefed on it, and the whole crew getting their gear upgrades. The briefing conversation plays over shots of them all getting their personal briefcases of stuff, and of some normal soldiers fighting smaller Grimm in the tundra. The new clothes scene is most important though. We see: Their happy faces, Blake and Jaune both pondering haircuts while Jaune runs his hands over the sash he kept from Pyrrha (ow my heart), Yang attaching her arm upgrade, and Ruby getting at a new cape before Oscar approaches her. Oh, and on the briefing screens RWBY and JNR are registered as civilian Huntsmen. They have their licenses!!!!

Let’s talk about the cape for a sec. Her red cloak has been an heirloom she’s kept for 6 volumes now and about 17 years. The last vestige of her mother. So is it really such a good idea for her to get a new one and just go with it? Is that abandoning the sentimental value and very essence of the original cape? It’s been worn and weathered since Volume 4, so an replacement or a stitch job would be good, but the latter would be ideal. I don’t really mind the new one so much because she asked for it and clearly she had a reason for that. It’s the exact same in every visual way as far as I could see, and she’s keeping the old one. The message is still alive in her wearing it, and times must change. It’s better to get a new one than risk damaging the original any more.

Anyway, after we see the few shots of them prepping for this mission, a very old Geist possessing a bunch of ice and hiding in a Dust mine, the airship doors open and we see the team in all their new glory. They jump out accompanied by the Ace Ops, and all make stylish landings. Ruby only uses her pogo gunshots to slow her descent, and Blake swings her weld fixed Gambol Shroud to Spider-Man swing around the buildings to land. But Weiss and Yang use their semblances to do it, and the aura percentages on Blake’s scroll later represent that accordingly. Good attention to detail. And we hear from Weiss that using your Aura can keep you from freezing, a good reason why they can all wear such stylish clothes and not die of frostbite.

After Clover checks in with all the groups about keeping in contact and keeping an eye on Aura levels, Blake catches Yang staring and they have an adorably awkward exchange about Blake’s haircut and how Yang likes it but doesn’t know how to express that. Marrow seems annoyed he has to watch a high school love story unfolding in front of him, but Harriet teases him about being childish and that shuts him up. They head toward the mine entrance, but Team RWBY hangs back to discuss how uncomfortable they all are with having lied to Ironwood last episode about Salem and the lamp. But Ruby reasons that they don’t know if Ironwood is in the right mindset for that bombshell right now and they WILL tell him soon. Fair enough. A flashback to Oscar’s interruption earlier reveals he’s pretty torn about it too since it’s exactly what they hated Ozpin for doing to them. Either way, they enter the mine and a comment about the path being blocked leads to a chilling realization. This is the mine that caved in and killed Ilia’s parents. This is why her life went so terribly, and it’s a major reminder of the awful relationship between humans and Faunus and how bad things can get. That prompts Weiss to try and apologize for her own bad attitude about it all in Volume 1, and some harsh truths from Marrow about complacency with injustice for the sake of living free of making those hard moral choices. Wise words, a lot to think about with this world and even our own.

But there’s no time for thinking about changing the world’s prejudices, they need to send Blake through a dark opening in the rubble to see if it’s safe for them to blast a hole big enough for everyone or if there’s any nearby Dust they might agitate. I get the whole faunus seeing better in the darker area of the cave thing but... couldn’t Marrow have done it too? Or was he too big and thicc and they had to send the lithe teenager? I tease, I tease. Height and muscle mass may be the legit reasons, plus her weapon is also less bulky. Before she goes in, both Blake and Yang see the SDC logo printed on some discarded boxes, likely a reminded of the last place they saw it: branded on Adam’s face. Not a good memory to recall in a tight situation, but it shows they’re still dealing with that. Good news is, when Blake goes through there’s no Dust on the other side. Bad news, the Geist gives a legitimate jumpscare that literally makes Blake jump back in surprise and pull her weapon to shoot at it. That of course clues the others in that she found something, and we see Harriet’s weapon as she deploys mechanized armor to go over her arms and boost her punching strength. Reminds me of the controls for a mech, fake arms you wear and move in the cockpit to move the real giant ones. But these have plenty of power all on their own and bust open the wall of debris. Makes sense to boost her upper body strength to counterbalance the power in her legs.

They chase the Geist into the mine until they encounter the new Centinel Grimm burrowing up from the ground. Team RWBY gets to show off their weapon upgrades/new moves as they dispose of them: Blake does a lot of slashing and stabbing as usual and Weiss does mostly the same plus shooting ice at the bugs and using glyphs to stop them from lunging. But the real stars seem to be Yang and Ruby. Yang added sticky bombs to her gauntlets’ arsenal, and Ruby can now spin Crescent Rose’s blade 180 degrees to slice a severed centinel half on her backswing. Cool. But Marrow shows off his own party tricks with his rifle that becomes a large blade edged boomerang and the ability to stop two Grimm still with nothing but a snap and the word “stay”. Clearly a reference to dog obedience training and possibly showing the power words can have, a reference to The Boy Who Cried Wolf, which I still believe he’s based on. All that kid had to do was say the word and the entire town came running to face a supposed threat. However, I’ve also heard that his inspiration is actually “A Dog and it’d Shadow”, which might suggest he’s going to go down a bad path for the sake of his own benefit... Regardless, Harriet zooms up and tosses the centinel against a wall, which seems to stop it. They report sighting the target and engaging with further hostiles to the others, who take that as a cue to speed things up. When next we see them, Harriet runs past Weiss and Ruby to take down the last Centinel with a single punch before Ruby had time to even take a shot at it. Instead of being petty about a kill steal, our little rose goes gaga over Harriet having a speed semblance like her, while the Hare of course boasts she seems to be faster based on Ruby’s reaction time. They suddenly hear Clover announce he’s fighting the Geist with Qrow, and when it eludes them too everyone converges in a central cavern.

Now let’s talk about JNR’s section of the mission until they meet up with the others. They make their jump too, Jaune having added Hard Light Dust to his shield and using it like Link’s paraglider in Breath of the Wild to float down gently, and then gravity Dust from the central crest to negate the final impact and bounce into a flip landing. Stylish~ We don’t see how, but Ren and Nora landed fine too. And their accompanying Ace Operatives Vine and Elm give rather indirect compliments, much to Jaune and Nora’s annoyance. As they walk through an ice tunnel and Vine reports its stability and their approximate time of convergence, Nora gushes about how exciting it all is before turning her enthusiasm on Ren. He handles a direct compliment about his new outfit about as well as Ren handles any show of emotion... he does not. He just tries to redirect the topic to the mission. Annoying to all the Renora shippers, absolutely, but also kinda his MO. His semblance, his very nature since the tragedy of Kuroyuri is to not get emotional because that can get them in trouble if it’s at the wrong time. He still needs to learn there are plenty of right times to have emotions, LIKE WHEN YOUR UNOFFICIAL GIRLFRIEND WANTS YOU TO RETURN THE COMPLIMENT!!! He better learn from that mistake... But at least there’s dense as a rock Jaune to compliment Nora instead and miss the point of what she was doing. The good boy is trying his best to be nice.

When they hear RWBY’s squad announce the fighting has started they start booking it and slide down an icy slope that’s revealed to have Centinels emerging at the bottom. Vine uses his semblance to stretch out and grab hold of the walls and Elm uses her’s to root her feet in the ground, both so they can stop moving toward the enemy. But that’s not JNR’s style, so they charge right into the Grimm and take them out quickly. A gravity burst shield bash from Jaune, new grappling hook mode for the blades on Ren’s guns, and Nora just bashes some skulls. This approaches earns another indirect compliment before they took finish the journey to the main mine cavern.

Meanwhile Qrow is with Clover and looking very cool in his new digs. They head in and discuss Qrow’s history of teamwork and how he doesn’t really do that anymore... cue sad STRQ vibes. Also he almost trips and Clover catches him, a perk of having someone at your side. After he gets the rundown from Elm, we don’t hear from thes two until they’re chasing down the Geist. It reaches its icy armored body, and gathers extra pieces from the walls around them. Qrow notices one bit it’s trying to get will pull down a support beam and warns Clover to stay back... just in time. The Geist gets away, but in its wake the two men share a conversation about Semblances. Qrow reveals his misfortune and how it burdens him to solitude or else situations like that one could go way worse. But Clover surprises him with the fact that his own Semblance is, of course... generating good luck.

The look Qrow gives him... a lot of people say it’s gay panic as he falls head over heels for this charming military man who can balance him out. I’ve come to see it a bit differently thanks to another post I saw. It’s regular panic. Panic and self-loathing, because he sees his perfect mirror image. Clover is sober, charismatic, a good leader, doesn’t ruin things with his very presence, and has skill and wisdom beyond anything Qrow has been able to demonstrate. This is everything he wishes he could have been for the kids from Volumes 4-6, the kind of huntsman he wants to have been at Beacon... a version of him who might have been able to keep Team STRQ together. But it might also be him getting a crush on a charming guy who balances him out. Regardless, they call everyone to meet up in the middle.

And meet up they do, the various types of Dust in the large central chamber having such effects as floating the dirt their boots kick up and evaporating a drop of Jaune’s sweat when it hits the ground. Cool set piece, though they need to be careful with how they fight otherwise they could set off the Dust and ruin the Amity Satellite launch site... and kill them. The Geist is hanging from a giant piece of ice jutting from the ceiling, and when the teams spot it the big boy dramatically drops down to fight them. Ruby panics upon seeing it added Dust to it’s body so they’ll have a harder time fighting it safely, but the Ace-Ops kick into action almost immediately. Elm and Vine use their Semblances to keep it in place and expose the Grimm joints between its ice limbs, which Marrow throws his weapon to sever. But that leaves some Dust crystals falling through the air, so the Flash gets the lightning in his eyes and speeds in to catch them before they hit the ground... Oops! I mean Quicksilver does his Days of Future Past thing to move around the falling debris at superspeed and grab the Dust... DAMMIT! I mean Harriet gets the lightning in her eyes and pulls a Days of Future Past to move around the falling debris at superspeed and grab the Dust. But the boomerang cuts another part of the arm and knocks more Dust off out of her reach. Lucky for them, Clover is there to catch it just in time. He passes the crystal to Qrow and jumps into the action.

The Ace-Ops continue to run around the Geist and to distract and disorient it, and they get the other arm off. With a flick of his lucky charm, Clover jumps up and loops his fishing line around the Geist’s mask face, and it actually hooks. What comes next brings a look of astonishment to Team RWBY’s faces. He pulls the Geist out of the ice by its face, and Harriet runs up its torso to give a jumping Shoryuken with her mech fists to kill the Grimm. But that leaves a lot of Dust crystals falling through the air, and the Ace Ops scramble to grab all of them. One remains and Harriet runs to get it... it’s a close call... and Ruby beats her to it. Who’s faster now?~ But much to Ruby’s surprise, upon seeing her in action Harriet claims Ruby’s Semblance is unlike any speed Semblance she’s ever seen, that there’s probably more to it than she realizes... or we do for that matter~ I can’t wait to see what they do with that. Yang points out that Ruby has an awful lot more going on in terms of power than Harriet realizes, earning a grin from Weiss and a very cute giggle from Blake. Regardless, mission accomplished and Qrow and Clover have a little banter over if Ruby’s catch was luck or talent. Glad to see the Atlas MVP’s acknowledge our Team has some skill of their own. Even happier to see Elm effortlessly put Ruby on her shoulder and carry her around to celebrate while Yang and Nora start dancing.

Next thing we know we’re back in Mantle as the police ship drops Forest off. He goes into an alley, where Tyrian suddenly appears under a flickering light to creep us all out and kill a short lived fan favorite character. RIP, good good protest boy. 

And that’s pretty much it. Sorry it took a while.

[dangerouslyzanyperson]

Cinder Fall: It’s Good to be Bad.

Can we just appreciate the effort RT put into avoiding the trope of Cinder becoming a sympathetic villain while also not making her into a card-carrying one?

I will be honest, one of my biggest worries was Cinder and/or Emerald going through Heel-Face turn and joining heroes. But after this episode?

Any possibility for redemption died entirely.

AND THAT’S GREAT!

After the entire fourth volume of Cinder being inactive and, frankly, bland, we finally get that femme fatale back and HOW!

She didn’t just come for the Relic. She came for revenge. She came to remind Ruby and the rest of heroes who she is. What she stands for. What she desires. And that no Red Riding Hood can hurt her and go on her merry way.

But her revenge doesn’t solely concern Ruby. No, she fully intends to hurt as many of her friends and allies as possible.

“Who are you again?”

The way she says it… The complete disregard for the boy whose friend she had killed shows just how little of a thing it was to her.

And when you watch her fight?

She plays with Jaune. She mocks him. She ridicules him. And his weakness.

“Are you going to let her die too?”

She knows what hurts him. She knows how to make him lose control. Not because she needs him to. But because it is what gets her rocks off. Control over the others.

Which shows best when she actually loses it. When she is no longer the dominant force in the fight.

Just a small piece of her mask… One tiny little speck that has no purpose or value… This little is enough to drive her into rage.

Not because she was hurt.

But because it reminds her that she isn’t invincible. That she is still vulnerable. And even someone as weak as “the dense guy out of his league” can hurt her if he tries and she slips up.

[kevinscottgardens]

9 au 15 mai 2022

Lucien reminded my French tax return was due before 20 May. He was instrumental in helping me get all the forms submitted and completed correctly. Next year I should be able to do them online.

During the week I placed some pots on a balcony in the house. I decided Myrtus communis would look best and hopefully be low maintenance and perform well. I had never seen this view of the prairie before.

I went around all the areas of gravel and gave a good hoeing over of all the weeds. I’m hoping they will slow down now that the heat has arrived. I will try to get around one more time before my holiday.

I made a Swiss chard pie for lunches this week. I used a combination of black flour from Brittany and wholemeal flower for the crust. I love the earthy flavour for this savoury pie. The party was a lot of fun as only Eurovision can.

Saturday evening I had a few people over for Eurovision. We enjoyed a delicious barbecue prepared by Ilze, pork and potatoes prepared by Denis, wine from Luc and Éric. I had a meltdown in the kitchen in the afternoon trying to prepare cream cheese frosting for my strawberry cake. It just kept separating. I tried three times ! In the end, Dee brought spray whipped cream which saved the day. I mowed my lawn for the occasion too.

Plant of the week

Papaveraceae Glaucium flavum Crantz

common name(s) - yellow horned-poppy, sea poppy, seaside poppy, bruisewort; français : glaucière jaune; Deutsch : Gelber Hornmohn; italiano : papavero cornuto synonym(s) - Chelidonium fulvum Poir.; C. glaucium L.; C. glaucum Hill; C. littorale Salisb.; Glaucium corniculatum f. grandiflorum Kuntze; G.c. f. sublobatum Kuntze; G.c. var. braunianum Kuntze; G.c. var. flavum (Crantz) Kuntze; G.c. var. fulvum (Sm.) Kuntze; G.c. var. mauritanicum Kuntze; G.c. var. tricolor (Godr.) Kuntze; Glaucium fischeri Bernh.; Glaucium flavum f. obtusilobum Fedde; G.f. f. subleiocarpum Kuzmanov & Gegova; G.f. var. fulvum (Sm.) Fedde; G.f. var. plenum Halácsy; G.f. var. serpieri (Heldr.) Halácsy; Glaucium fulvum Sm.; Glaucium glaucium (L.) H.Karst.; Glaucium glaucum Moench; Glaucium littorale Salisb.; Glaucium luteum Crantz; Glaucium luteum Scop.; Glaucium luteum var. glabratum Willk. & Lange; Glaucium luteum var. vestitum Willk. & Lange; Glaucium maculatum Szov.; Glaucium richardsonii Bernh. ex Fedde; Glaucium serpieri Heldr.; Glaucium tricolor Godr.; Papaver cornutum Garsault conservation rating - Least Concern native to - Canary Islands, Europe to Mediterranean and Iran location - Domaine de l’Orangerie leaves - grey stems branching; basal leaves numerous, blade densely pubescent; basal and proximal cauline with blade lyrate, seven- to nine-lobed blue-green; distal with blade ovate, cordate, distinctly clasping stem; margins deeply dentate flowers - pedicels stout; petals bright yellow, sometimes orangish, sometimes with reddish to violet basal spot, obovate in summer fruit - capsules sublinear, mostly distinctly curved, sometimes straight, glabrous, tuberculate, or scabrous; seeds ripen end of summer habit - coastal short-lived perennial to 500mm tall and wide habitat - shingle banks, sand, gravel or stony soils and beaches, cultivated fields and more rarely amongst loose rock, eroding cliffs of sand and clay and on the bare tops of chalk cliffs pests - generally pest-free disease - generally disease-free hardiness - to -10ºC (H4) soil - poor to moderately fertile, well-drained chalk, sand, loam sun - full sun propagation - sow seed in situ in spring or autumn, resents root disturbance pruning - none nomenclature - Papaveraceae - papaver - Latin for poppies, including the opium poppy; Glaucium - grey-green, Dioscorides’ name for the colour of horned poppy latex; flavum - Latin for yellow NB - produces an orange foul smelling sap, if cut open; all parts of the plant, including the seeds, are toxic, and can cause a wide range of symptoms (if eaten), and respiratory failure, resulting in death

References :

Gardenia [online] https://www.gardenia.net/plant/glaucium-flavum [17 May 22]

Gledhill, David, (2008) “The Names of Plants”, fourth edition; Cambridge University Press; ISBN: 978-0-52168-553-5

IUCN [online] https://www.iucnredlist.org/species/165436/1082657 [17 May 22]

Plants of the World [online] https://powo.science.kew.org/taxon/urn:lsid:ipni.org:names:673167-1 [17 May 22]

Royal Horticultural Society [online] https://www.rhs.org.uk/plants/8033/glaucium-flavum/details [17 May 22]

Wikipedia [online] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Glaucium_flavum [17 May 22]

World Flora Online [online] http://www.worldfloraonline.org/taxon/wfo-0000703573 [17 May 22]

[vecnawrites]

Velvet, are you actually shy and reserved or are you kinky as hell?

Have Fun With This One. It Got Out Of Hand. Quickly.

“Oh, please! Everyone knows that Velvet is the shyest person in Beacon!” Weiss snorted, making the rabbit faunus blush and look down, rubbing the back of her head and scraping her shoe along the floor. “See!? Now, enough of this nonsense; I have to go and make sure Ruby studies, and Velvet has to make sure that dense dunce Arc doesn’t fail...even with Pyrrha’s help I don’t think that’s possible...” Weiss stomped off angrily, leaving Velvet alone in the hallway.

Glancing left and right, Velvet headed back into her own dorm, humming a happy tune as she entered the bathroom, carefully removing her school uniform, revealing that she was wearing a strapless leather bustier and leather framing her hips, but leaving her core and rear completely bare.

The tune she was humming getting more cheerful, Velvet pulled on thigh high stockings, loving the feel of the fabric against her legs. Looking at herself in the mirror, Velvet winked, before opening the door and marching back out into the bedroom. “Sorry to keep you waiting, sweeties! Ruby’s partner wouldn’t stop talking!” she smiled at her boyfriend and girlfriend, waiting patiently for her.

“MMMPH!” Jaune and Pyrrha both moaned through gags, tugging on their silken restraints, toys happily buzzing away at them. Jaune’s cock was hard and weeping, worsened by the bullet vibrator that was attached to the underside of his tip, while Pyrrha was squirming and shaking from the bullet vibrators attached to her clit and both of her nipples. They were on the lowest settings, meaning that it was the worst tease.

Velvet smiled, taking a deep breath of the air, saturated by the smell of their arousal, the musky, sweet tang making her loins soak. She sauntered over, swinging her hips as walked forwards, smiling at the desperate looks on their faces.

Climbing onto the bed, she smiled at her lovers, gently reaching out and cupping Jaune’s balls, humming in delight as she cradled the heavy, swollen spheres in her palm.

“Mmm...so full for me…” she hummed, eyes going to the band around the base of Jaune’s cock, preventing any of his thick, potent, tasty cum from escaping those swollen cum tanks. “You’ve both been so good lately...how would you like a nice reward? To empty those swollen balls of yours into Mistress Velvet’s belly? Or her womb? And you Pyrrha, would you like to be allowed to eat your mistress out?” Velvet smiled as both nodded rapidly, muffled sounds escaping their lips as both bucked upwards to her.

Velvet licked her lips, leaning forward and kissing both on the lips firmly, one hand cupping one of Pyrrha’s breasts and the other stroking Jaune’s cock tenderly and lovingly as she switched between them.

Grabbing the bits of fabric in Jaune’s and Pyrrha’s mouths between her teeth as she kissed them, Velvet jerked her head to the side, revealing that the gags were pairs of her own panties; innocent, childish pairs, pristine white with orange carrots all over them. Spitting them to the side, Velvet grinned down at her flushed, breathless lovers. “Did you enjoy my taste, sweeties?” there were no demeaning nicknames that Velvet used, this was an act of love and trust between the three of them.

“Y-Yes, M-Mistress Velvet…” Jaune gasped, arching as Velvet cupped his straining erection and pumped it, mindful of the bullet vibrator attached to him. “S-So sweet~” Pyrrha mewled, arching up and showing her moist lips to her lapin lover.

Velvet giggled, the sound a beautiful chime in the air. “You saw the sweetest thing, my lovelies...your mistress will let you do something special today~”

Jaune and Pyrrha, despite their pleasure, blinked, Jaune hissing as Velvet carefully removed the bullet vibrator attached to his cock, before carefully undoing the ring that had kept him from cumming for so long. The blonde moaned loudly, the sensations becoming that much more without the block.

“I know you love looking at your mistress’s bottom, Jaune…” Velvet began, smiling at the look of mortification on Juane’s face. Obviously, he hadn’t expected to be noticed admiring her backside. She kissed him again, this time on the tip of his nose while palming one of Pyrrha’s breasts. “There’s nothing wrong with loving your mistress’s body, Jaune.” she comforted, reaching up and fluffing his hair lovingly, kissing him and then Pyrrha sweetly on the lips.

Nuzzling against Juane’s nose, she hummed. “Better, sweetie?” she asked, getting a nod from her blonde lover. “Good~ Now, as I was saying, I know you like looking at your mistress’s bottom…” Velvet climbed onto the bed and seized the leash attached to Pyrrha’s collar as she straddled Jaune’s waist. “After all, I could smell your cock leaking precum, and don’t think I didn’t immediately realize why you always let me and Pyrrha go first!” the bunny wiggled her backside, giggling as Jaune’s cock lurched between her cheeks, slapping against the skin. “Hmm...I guess the Bunny Booty is irresistible, huh?” she bounced up and down a bit, feeling her cheeks pop and smack against his cock and one another, enjoying Jaune’s helpless moans as she shamelessly twerked her bubbly bunny booty.

~

Velvet had always know that she had a big butt; her sisters, the kids in her hometown, even her own partner, made sure she knew that. It embarrassed her so badly! Even as she grew older, her butt just grew and grew more, until her cheeks were the nigh monstrous, jiggly swells of fat that they were now, shaming her even more.

She had hid so long that she was frightened of telling anyone or letting anyone see her body...until she had met Jaune and Pyrrha, and had, quite literally, stumbled into the blonde’s lap, showcasing her hidden treasure hidden under her skirt as it smashed into his waist and hip, her skirt flipping up and revealing it in its entirety.

She had been mortified, but she heard the shocked little whimpers and felt the rising poke against her belly, making her look back in shock to see Jaune and Pyrrha looking as mortified as she felt, both looking down as though expecting to be screamed at, to be hit.

Something had come over her that day, and she had told both Jaune and Pyrrha that if they wanted to ‘make it up to her’ that they would do what she said...which led to taking the pair back to her dorm. All three of them had lost their virginities that day...as well as Velvet finding out that she thrived on control. And just her luck, both Pyrrha and Jaune thrived on being controlled and loved! The three of them were a match made in heaven!

~

She adored being loved and worshiped, and Jaune and Pyrrha needed love and positive reinforcement! Leaning down, she rocked her ass cheeks up and down Jaune’s cock, already feeling him leaking against her, her skin getting slick and sticky from his precum.

Part of her was torn; she truly loved the taste of Jaune’s cum (as did Pyrrha, the little scamp often tried sneaking it), since her sweetheart ate a very healthy diet, along with a healthy serving of pineapple with every meal, so it was one of her favorite treats! She often got an ‘all natural smoothie’ between classes.

But on the other hand, she loved bouncing on Jaune’s cock, riding him and draining those fat, heavy balls of his into her womb, carrying around his warmth within her belly of hours on end after the deed was done.

But which? Both of her sweethearts had been so good for her, not touching themselves beyond cleaning purposes for the entire past week (which must have been truly hard for Pyrrha, who she noticed trying to lean her head and look behind her), leaving Jaune’s balls swollen and overfilled for today. They both deserved the best.

She nodded to herself, making her decision as she leaned down and pressed another kiss to Jaune’s lips, giving her rear end another wiggle for Jaune’s enjoyment. After a moment, she sat back up and smiled down at him and Pyrrha.

“You’ve both been so good for me, sweethearts,” she hummed, “Mistress is going to let you do something you haven’t before…” leaning over, she unlatched Pyrrha’s cuffs, before hopping up and spinning around so her rear was facing the pair, squatting over Jaune’s cock as she tugged on Pyrrha’s leash, leading the redhead towards her front.

Looking back with a smirk, Velvet grabbed her fat cheeks and pulled them apart, watching Jaune’s eyes go wide and his cock throb, spitting out a bit of precum as his eyes locked on her twitching winking little hole.

“You’re going to be allowed to fuck your mistress’s bottom~” Velvet purred, smiling at Jaune as she lowered herself a bit, feeling the fat head of his cock wedge itself between her cheeks. She could feel large fat drops of his precum shuttling out and spreading against her little hole, slickening up the crevasse between her cheeks.

Rabbit ears twitching, Velvet smiled. “What do you say, sweetie?” she would forgive him for being for being speechless; he had been the same when she had sucked his balls dry the first time.

She heard an audible swallow from both of her lovers, before Jaune spoke. “T-Thank you for this gift, Mistress! It means so much!” her heart swelled as she heard the brutal honestly in his voice; he truly was grateful.

Licking her lips, Velvet pressed herself down, forcing herself to relax as she felt herself being spread open by her male lover’s thick cock. A tiny grunt escaped her lips as the wide head slipped inside her with a ‘pop’, the slight burn at the stretch making her flinch, but immediately being soothed away by her aura.

Locking eyes with her male lover, Velvet bore down more, her eyes hooding as she felt the intense stretch as she impaled herself upon Jaune’s cock. A muffled moan escaped both of their mouths as she eased further and further down his cock, both gasping and moaning, the bunny twisting her hips side to side as she slipped down closer and closer to the base, her pussy dripping her arousal as she came close to the bottom, feeling her rear touch his hips before flattening out, squishing against his skin as her twitching anus flexed around the base of Jaune’s cock, trying desperately to force the invader out.

“Mmm...you’re so deep inside of me…” she purred, squeezing around Jaune, getting a needy, keening whimper from him. She moaned as she felt a spurt of heat enter her backside. “Did you cum, sweetie?” she knew that Jaune hadn’t, after keeping himself backed up for a week for her, there would be far more than that little bit of warmth.

“N-No, Mistress! I...oh, Gods, so tight, so hot, feels so good…” she smiled as Jaune bucked his hips upwards a bit, his thighs tensing and straining underneath her, swollen sack twitching.

A whimper grabbed her attention and she saw Pyrrha looking at her leaking pussy desperately, licking her lips and staring hungrily. Velvet ignored that for the moment, reaching down and trailing her fingers along the stretched skin, her own flesh breaking out in goosebumps as she could swear she felt a sloshing noise in them. “Hmm...you really are backed up for me, aren’t you baby?” she purred, shifting her hips left and right, feeling Jaune’s cock throb within her as she stared into Pyrrha’s emerald eyes.

“Yuh...Yessss…” Jaune hissed out, his breath coming in rapid, harsh pants, his muscles tensing as he fought to keep from cumming before his mistress did. He didn’t want to disappoint her, or Pyrrha, not after all they did for him…

Velvet hummed again. “I’m going to start moving sweetie...feel free to cum, whenever you want~” she purred, before lifting her lower half and bringing it down with a clap.

Both cried out loudly, Jaune from the tight squeeze and heavenly sensations wrapping around his cock, and Velvet, due to the new sensations of her ass being filled so well by her lover. “Fuck~♥” she moaned out, wiggling her hips left and right, squeezing down hard on her precious lovers cock.

Looking down at Pyrrha, Velvet spread her legs a bit wider. “Go ahead, precious~” she cooed, before moaning as Pyrrha dove forwards, eating her out with a vengeance as she slowly rocked up and down on Jaune’s thick cock.

The trio writhed and the air was filled with moans, whimpers, and the scent of sex. Pyrrha in particular, was leaking heavily down her inner thighs, having no stimulation other than eating Velvet out. But, that mattered little, as the bunny could see that Pyrrha was twitchy, close to orgasm already.

Velvet was the first to cum, unsurprisingly, being pleased from both ends. The bunny’s ears went slack and her eyes rolled up in her head, her ass ruthlessly clenching down on the invader in her ass as she squirted, spraying Pyrrha’s face with her slick.

Pyrrha followed with a squeal, her hips going wild and humping the air, her pussy quivering and flexing around nothing.

Jaune came with almost a howl, his balls finally getting release after over a week of not having any relief after they were used to daily emptying, the fat orbs pulsing and pumping and shooting out every drop of fluid that they held within them, massive shots of his thick cum shooting upwards like a geyser into Velvet’s belly. His eyes rolled up in his head as he slumped back onto the bed, trying desperately not to black out.

Velvet moaned as her orgasm finally tapered off, despite the fact that Pyrrha was still licking her pussy with a fervor almost unmatched. She rubbed her belly, which had a large bulge on it from all the cum that had been pumped into her. “So...full…” she moaned softly, reaching out and stroking Pyrrha’s hair. “Hang on a moment, sweetie...and we can all start round two when Jaune gets his breath back...I know you’d like to be filled up too…”

The excited sound from both her lovers made her smile. It truly was wonderful having two submissive lovers to care for and love whenever she wanted...now the only question was…

What position would the three of them do next?

[elegantpersonkid]

Les superbes plages de la Côte d'Azur

Sur la Côte d'Azur, il est parfois suffisant de suivre un parcours littoral sur quelques centaines de mètres ou peut-être d'exiger un voyage d'actions cachées pour trouver une petite crique appliquée, baignée de H2O turquoise. D'Embiez à Roquebrune Saint-Martin, voici nos rivages préférés pour étaler nos serviettes de bain sur une bande de sable jaune ou de galets, secrètement efficace hors du monde entier. Parmi les meilleures approches pour découvrir le littoral en «jetski». Des pins parfumés sur Internet hébergeant des cigales chantantes, un sable blanc éblouissant parsemé de pierres, la mer au-delà de toutes les teintes de bleu: au pied du Massif de Maures en plein air, la plage Jean Blanc est la quintessence de votre crique rocheuse méditerranéenne. Accessible sur le chemin du littoral entre Le Lavandou et Cavalière, il conserve un autre trésor: la crique en plein air de l'Eléphant, baignée dans des eaux respectueuses de l'émeraude et cachée associée à un affleurement difficile. Le bord de mer de Pellegrin tire son attrait de votre plage naturelle de pins bordant son littoral. Les arbres apportent leur couleur de soutien avec cette très longue bande de sable jaune, parsemée de clôtures en bois massif qui évoquent le littoral atlantique. Mais non, notre entreprise porte sur la Côte d'Azur, l'île de Porquerolles se détachant à l'horizon. Pour vous dégourdir les cuisses, pensez à la route côtière du Fort Brégançon (1-et-50% -60 minutes-mouvement), lieu de villégiature officiel du directeur de la République française. Entre le Cap Taillat et le Cap Camarat, l'Escalet Beachfront est flanqué de griffes de granit et de schiste. Voici la même presqu'île que Saint-Tropez, proche de la joyeuse et mythique plage de Pampelonne. Malgré cela, Escalet est heureusement paisible. La dentelle de roche, également marine, attire de nombreuses espèces de poissons, offrant la possibilité de plonger en apnée des profondeurs avant de se reposer sur la serviette de bain en bord de mer enveloppée dans l'odeur sucrée de la garrigue encerclante. Les roches de couleur rougeâtre gravées par le vent soufflant du massif de l'Estérel se précipitent vers l'océan pour remplir des teintes d'émeraude et d'azur.Voici le magnifique décor de la Corniche d'Or entre Saint-Raphaël et Théoule-sur-Mer. Un certain nombre de plages réduisent le rock and roll plus loin sur la ligne. Un escalier débouche sur le ruisseau de l'Ile des Vieilles, jet ski Soulac une mince bande de galets ocres impliquant Agay et Anthéor. Son nom émane des établissements d'enseignement des fruits de mer qui dérivent autour de la planète rouge, appelés vieilles (wrass). A 20 minutes du port de Cannes se trouve l'île tropicale Sainte-Marguerite, un bouquet dense de pins et d'eucalyptus. Une des meilleures techniques pour découvrir la côte en «jetski». Sur la rive sud-est, face à la mer et à l'île Saint-Honorat, Pierres-Hautes Seashore vous invite à la détente. Ses pièces de calcaire allongées soulevées au-dessus de l'eau et loin de la vue sont appréciées des naturistes. Après la baignade, visitez le Fort royal de Vauban, sur le littoral tranchant au nord de l'île. Quand il s'agissait en fait d'une prison, c'était l'emplacement du "Masque facial à l'homme en métal". Un vol prolongé des marches de la compagnie aérienne mène à Buse Seaside, seulement prouvé aux résidents et aux habitués de Roquebrune-Limit-Martin. Mais c'est une étape à l'intérieur de la zone de Cabbé, probablement les plus beaux sentiers balnéaires de la région. Ses gros cailloux blancs brillants ont-ils motivé Le Corbusier, qui a construit son célèbre Cabanon sur la hauteur, ou Eileen Gray, qui a fait la légendaire villa E1027 à proximité? Le parc de la maison ancienne de toute célébrité italienne s'étend sur presque tout le front de mer, distillant le ton et le flux d'air frais. L'une des meilleures approches pour découvrir la côte en «jetski»

[knightofbalance-13]

Dual Boss: SSSN Neptune Vasillas + Tex-ism (AKA Epislon Beta)

http://sssn-neptune-vasilias.tumblr.com/post/160501704288/tex-isms-sokumotanaka-tex-isms#notes

I must be insane to tackle both a terrorist and the woman who called me an abuser and a pedophile while trying to frame me for suicide at the same time.

But a few hours stuck on a Metal Gear Rising boss while rocking out to a One Punch Man X Revengence remix will do that to a guy so let’s tackle these sons of bitches.

I already tackled the Original here so here’s a link to that whole shibang: 

https://knightofbalance-13.tumblr.com/post/160497412445/nope

And now let’s take a look at Tex-isms AKA epislon beta

I’ve tried to stay passive over RWDE since I was harassed by anti-RWDErs but since they know my new URL, who the fuck cares.

And this relates to me...how? Any of my followers can attest it has been a long time since we’ve crossed paths seeing as I have not addressed one of your posts in a matter of months. And not everyone who hates rwde is someone I know: A lot of people hate the tag, it was just the norm to ignore it and I thought that wasn’t for me. It’s entirely possible that the people you’ve encountered just got pissy at you, no doubt for trying to imply something about Miles or something, especially if you tried pulling that crap you did with me and Mage where you called us abusers and pedophiles because we dared to say that Miles liking two cosplayers isn’t disgusting.

I would argue it’s still just as vile, it’s just that no one in the RWDE tag pays attention to them anymore. One of them has literally said he will try to report all of us in the RWDE tag and get us taken off of tumblr if we get him reported for block evasion (Which he has admitted to multiple times).

Yeah, I would. Considering all you have on me is block evasion and I have slander, harassment, suicide baiting and terrorism on my side. Which, considering I blocked your Episoln Beta account and you retailated by using your main account, means I literally have the same shit on all of you and more.

And here’s the thing, switch the words around on that statement and you ahve the RWBY fandom’s opinions on rwde. Except the RWBY fandom hasn’t suicide baited anyone. bullied anyone or harassed anyone. So nice try at the pity party.

And honestly? It’s just going to keep getting more and more vile. A certain anti-RWDE guy continues to just get more and more vile, and the moment the fandom kicks back up again after RTX and RWBY5 stuff is leaked, it’s going to go back to the utter hell it was February-April.

So? The same thing is going to happen to all of you as well:You all go back into finding new stuff to label sexist, racist, ableist or whatever and sue to attack everyone in an attempt to control the show for your own agenda.  Except at the end of the day, I can say I stated the facts as they were, I never lied, I never terrorized anyone, I never threatened anyone, I never willfully misinterpreted shit and I was an all around better person. While also criticizing RWBY, showing you have no excuse for your attitude.

It’s stupid and I hate it. I’m incredibly tired of being harassed by people for not having the same opinions of them on a show, and for not being nice and polite and professional in my critiques and complaints.

Here’s the problem and the reason why even if I leave, you will still get these people: You keep trying to pass off your hate as criticism. I mean, look at what you said “ nice and polite and professional in my critiques and complaints. “ And look at the definition of critique ( a method of disciplined, systematic analysis of a written or oral discourse.) your methods contradict your words and thus people rightfully call you out. You want it to stop? Either stop claiming critique or be professional about it. That;s it.

And back to SSSN

See this was why I was happy as soon as they made the tag, cause their gone and so is their harassment and now kkkob can’t bully people for posting (I literally saw him attack a person who doesn’t post rwde often thinking they were new and his greeting was “allow me to welcome you to this shit tag by tearing apart your post.”)

You mean Riprorude? he does post regularly. And even if he didn’t, it was a segway into my critical dissection. Meaning someting that wasn’t menat to be serious to took as such. Good job there.

And really? My criticism is bullying? Then what do you call attacking Miles and harassing him and threatening because he doesn’t do what you want? If I’m a bully, what does that make you?

Over an opinion! Kob never was a rational person who wanted to “bring criticism back” he’s a menace, a racist, a bully, a child and a tyrant who doesn’t like opinions that don’t host his own.

And really Because last time I covered you, you were the racist, bully,child and tyrant who said that if artists don’t put in diversity they derserve to be harassed and attacked. Over an opinion as well and you were speaking for a group who didn’t want you to, actively pushing back equality and basically being a terrorist. Nice try there, bucko.

More legit criticisms, this tag is free again for everyone.

Unless said person doesn’t think jaune is the devil, Sun isn’t being abusive drunken racist, Taiyang was being the worst parent in the show or that miles should be criticized without trying to get him to hang himself. (Hyperbole) If so, then they’re wrong and you must weed them out just as you did before me and you will do afterward.

And back to Tex:

Kob ain’t done bullying people. I’m like not even joking when I say he’s getting worse. It’s just that we’ve all blocked him.

Really? Because I have never threatened you or terrorized you or called you something you weren’t all because I dared to speak up. That’s all on rwde.

and finally SSSN:

Tbh the more people comment on this and my other posts the more I’m realizing that these people aren’t as quiet as I thought they were, they just moved on to attacking other people

Not really, I tackled the likes of Sokumo, RWBYcriticism and you all before and continue to after I was blocked as I am doing now. You just want to make me out to be this tyrant when all I’m doing is calling you out on your shit.

Now I believe thats everything here. I got done sooner tanI though-

!!!!!!

What?

https://bluepulserjaime.tumblr.com/post/160501833776/sssn-neptune-vasilias-tex-isms

https://sokumotanaka.tumblr.com/post/160502695349/tex-isms-sokumotanaka-tex-isms

Oh boy, extra bosses. And It’s getting rather late so my energy tank is almost empty.

Oh well, as Friedric Nietzche once said, “ Everyone who has ever built anywhere a new heaven first found the power thereto in his own hell.” So, I’ll take this challenge!

First, Bluepulser!

Kob/mageknight/whatever literally stalked my non-rwby posts with an alt account for like an entire week until I blocked them again and they noticed they could get banned from the site for block evading.

All ofyour posts huh? Mind proving that with an example of two? No? Then i can point to my history of only talking RWBY topics with you and nothing else as proof you are lying and probably trying to incite hate and get me kicked off. Considering your attack did nothing o me, it failed. Hopelessly.

Now for the king pin himself, Sokumotaka

And you know what? Let him. It’ll just keep piling up and he’ll continue to make an ass out of himself then we’ll have all this evidence against him.

People who think we’re overreacting will take one look at his blog and avoid him like the plague, he’ll slip up and we’ll be here living our lives in peace.

Heh, this gives me hope. Not in the words themselves seeing as this guy suicide baited me and tried to slander the crtq tag because I dared to try to move on and make a place where people can choose to be professional about stuff, But that rwde isn’t as bad as I thought seeing as I said something similar (minus the evidence part because he alone is proof). Although he could just be blind to how terrible he’s acting and I’m childishly thinking that the possibility of an absolute wrong is impossible. Still doesn’t do anything for his hypocrisy and blindness to himself.

Wow, that took shorter than I expected. But I tackled 4 of the big rwde posters. Guess I-

!!!!!

Again?

https://www.tumblr.com/dashboard/blog/tex-isms/160503489928

https://sokumotanaka.tumblr.com/post/160503815014/pageoflore-sokumotanaka-tex-isms

https://sokumotanaka.tumblr.com/post/160503690944/tex-isms-sokumotanaka-tex-isms

Welp, I am really pushing it now. But surpassing my limits is what is needed for me to make my point so let’s battle!

Tex-ism, Final round!

The unfortunate part is, this is very localized to the RWDE tag, and there’s only two groups i nthat tag: People who know about kob and are harassed by him, and people who don’t care and agree w/ how he treats us

Well, maybe if you hadn’t sunk all of your reputations attacking everyone, lying about so much and playing the victim card, people might listen. But even at my worst, you people still deserve it.

Sokumo and pageoflore huh? Let’s go fuckers!

This is KOB’s tone in every single post they make, tbh. Like regardless of intent arguing with them is like beating your head against an extremely dense brick wall. “Rational” and “unbiased” aren’t really words I would use for them.

And rational and unbiased,  considering you laugh off everything I say with “lol salty fanboy” or memes isn’t something I call you either. Especially since I have been reasoned with in the past, you people are just constant failures at this.

And now you, my archnemsis Sokumotaka

Exactly, getting mad at him won’t solve anything especially now, he’s out of our hair for the time being and he’ll get his.

Sorry but it’s too late for that. I’m already here and shown that you have posted hate around me. So how long you wanna beat you terrorize me or threaten me? Because considering Epsilon Beta and Dudeblade, it won’t be long.

And I’ll answer for what I do but the problem here is that I’m not doing anything bad and you all keep pulling some bullshit out of your pants to throw at me, trying to drive me away. Guess what? I faced all of you here and now and won so I think that's a testament to how much it’ll take to beat me.

And that’s a large amount of people, and as rwby possibility grows and such people will learn and people who don’t go to rwde will steal see these and avoid him.

I already have many people whom visited his tag yet never dealt with rwby who think he’s a nuisance. It’ll just keep growing too.

And I have a large number of people who have seen my stuff and agree with me as well, funny thing about followers huh? Especially since you can feed them all the lies, cut off screen shots, manipulated facts and shit all you want and no one will call you out on it as well, especially since tehy never delanwith RWBY and thus don’t know better. Convientant huh?

This is Knight Of Balance, It’s 12:10 Am. I have been up for sixteen hours, cleaned my house, wiped up cat pee three times, been yelled at twice and stuck on a boss for an hour. And I just went through my first boss rush and won

Good Night,

[edgeofpanic]

so I have a lot of post-volume 8 thoughts/volume 9 hopes that gonna throw up here! i refuse to tag this bc i dont want to deal with Discourse so

THERE ARE VOLUME 8 SPOILERS HERE

penny. jesus christ. i've been thinking about this a lot since saturday and at first, it made me furious. like what was the point of putting in all the narrative work for her to die anyway? why get our hopes up like that?

after sitting with it for a few days and rewatching the episode, i've hit the "acceptance" stage. i'm pretty sure she’s gone gone this time. would absolutely love to be proven wrong here, but this felt final. and that's...okay.

lately, i've been thinking a lot about how you can try your best and still lose. you put in the work to get into that school or you do your best at an interview for a dream job, but it doesn’t happen. it’s devastating because we learn that effort is meant to reward, not punish. failure hurts.

and penny hurts for that same reason. team rwby did everything right—the staff, the plan to get everyone out of atlas/mantle, preventing the bomb, stopping james—and they still came up short in the biggest way possible. they lost their friend and so did the audience.

shit sucks, man. it's brutal. it’s made even worse that the goal was in sight. all she had to do was go through the portal. but penny would never have turned her back on her friends. so here we are.

if i were in charge of writing, would i have done a lot of things differently if this would be outcome? definitely. it's an underwhelming ending to penny's story, but i dunno. sometimes you lose. i'm coming to terms with it.

that being said, penny and winter's talk before transferring the maiden powers is going to emotionally devastate me for months. so is that moment where penny reaches for the hilt of jaune’s sword that’s shaped like pyrrha’s tiara and says “trust me.” :) i'm not okay

on the complete opposite end of failure, cinder fall!!! holy shit. the horrible girl got almost everything she wanted this time. there’s something about cinder, falling in defeat 3 volumes ago to cinder, rising in triumph after the biggest win of her villain career. her revenge blinders are off, she got rid of neo and watts in one fell swoop, and she got two relics and snagged the last question from the lamp. she even lied to salem!!! to her face!!! and lived!!!!!

don’t wanna be her when rwby and co. get off the island, though, because Salem is gonna be pissed. ruby is supposed to be dead and she most certainly isn't so..... cinder is going to be the architect of her own defeat. again.

neo and jaune on survivor island in the time pit is...a choice. neo, i love. she’s run on nothing but grief and revenge for a long time and now she’s going to be on weirdo island with nothing but her thoughts? hell yeah. sign me the fuck up. jaune, i was torn on for a while until i realized that he and ruby are going to have some hard, interesting conversations about leadership, what it means to lose one of your own, blame, etc. i’m ready for it.

that’s mostly what i want from volume 9, i think. lots and lots of talking because team rwby hasn’t had a chance to breathe since getting to atlas. now they’ve got nothing but time. processing grief, learning how to move on from complete failure, "what's the point of continuing on when there’s only suffering”.... the writing is going to have to dig deep here. is it going to reach that high bar? who can say!!! i’ll still watch, regardless.

other quick hits for various thoughts/hopes:

god i wanted nora to go to the island so bad, imagine her having to redefine herself far away from her team while also dealing with extreme grief. what a perfect moment for her to do something only she could do

next volume is supposed to be the shortest so my question is how short. 10 episodes? 11? i think each episode is going to be really dense

winter schnee is my wife

blake and yang better talk, confess, and then make out on every inch of this island. i’m talking everywhere. on the beach, by the rocks, against that big tree, next to a waterfall, all over the place. i want them to be annoying as hell.

the voice acting for this volume was off the charts good. penny’s and cinder’s VAs deserve awards for stepping it up big time

the score was also phenomenal. i’m looking forward to that more than the songs this time

trans queen may marigold, we love to see it

[heliosthegriffin]

Establishing Dominance

“Fearless Leader! I challenge you over leadership of team JNPR, accept or forever be a nerd!” Nora shouts at Jaune from on top of the lunch table, standing on his lunch, absolutely ruining Jaune’s nuggies.

Murmurs overtook the cafeteria at her proclamation, it was bold challenge indeed and one if ignored would permanently label Jaune as a nerd. Many people looked at Jaune as if he would bolt from the cafeteria in fear or as if he would crack immediately and surrender the title of leader to Nora so that he may not face her wrath, not that many would blame him, Nora hits hard. But to their surprise, Jaune merely smirked at her challenge, a new wave of murmurs rippling outward.

Jaune had been anticipating it for weeks that Nora would challenge him for leadership of team JNPR, so he wasn’t surprised she had finally did so. He wasn’t surprised she wanted to be Leader, it could be pretty fun at times and he saw how much she wanted to be Queen of the team , he was also pretty sure she wanted that crown he made of twigs, twine and, duct tape he wore in his spare time.

“Very well Nora, consider your challenge accepted.” Jaune said with a warm, smooth confidence.

Nora rocked back as if struck, not expecting this level of nonchalance from her friend and leader. Sure, she knew he would accept her challenge, he had far too much pride not too. But, for him to smile and welcome it? It threw her off guard.

A beaming smile came easily though, this just made it all more exciting.

“Very well, soon to be Fearful of me Leader, I will await in the Emerald forest for you, be there or be square!”

“Count on, it Nora.” Between the eyes of the blond and the ginger, one could swear they saw lightning hopping between them.

Ren signed tiredly, and Pyrrha looked torn between blushing at Jaune’s sudden confidence, and smiling warmly at Nora’s antics.

Yang was watching intently on the two, Ruby looked anxious, Weiss looked on wondering how her life became so insane, and Blake was already writing in her notebook.

The challenge was a serious matter, one he wasn’t letting it go without a fight, he worked really hard on the Crown of Juniper and he’d be damned if some upstart took it from him! ... And, he was the only one with leadership skills out of the four of them, he guessed. There was also the matter of Nora getting bored by afternoon and hand the reigns back over to him, but that would still be most of a day with Nora in charge of team JNPR, and while he may love that insane girl he did not want to clean up the mess after letting her lead.

What did surprise him was the fact she had waited long enough for him to find his semblance before challenging him, that was kind of her. Too, bad he was all out of mercy today. The Crown was his and his alone!

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jaune and Nora stared at each other, standing twenty feet apart from each other in a dirt circle thirty feet in diameter. Surrounding them was a crowd of people who turned out to watch them.

Jaune stood tall and proudly with his hair moving in the faint breeze, with the way the sun hit his face he could have been confused for a warrior-prince of old. Though, it was to be noted, only thing covering his body was a baby blue robe.

Nora faced Jaune with her arms crossed somehow managing to look down on him despite nearly being a foot and half shorter. Her turquoise eyes glittering with mischief like a the old Trickster spirits of old. Interestingly enough, she too only wore a robe, hers a pretty cherry blossom pink.

Goodwitch, and Winter Schnee, stood facing the two juggernauts of personality that were her students.

“Strip!” The two yelled out unison.

With that the robes dropped, and the crowd went wild, as nothing could obscure their sight of the Nora and Jaunes naked bodies any longer.

Pyrrha, Velvet, Coco, Ruby, and so many others turned red in the face screaming in ecstasy. The level of excitement in the crowd could not be measured by mere words.

Ren was taking a nap in the dorm, Weiss was sleeping with him; White Lotus for life, Bitches!

Goodwitch and Winter then held up their hands silencing the crowd, and said together, “FOR THE LOVE OF THE GAME!” Holding up a bottle of baby oil.

Goodwitch approached Jaune with a maniac look in her eyes and Winter Schnee did the same to Nora. Using their semblances they covered each and every inch of the two’s superhuman physiques! Making them glisten and glow in the sunlight, highlighting their beauty to a godly extent!

Many in the crowd could no longer take it and fainted on the spot, in fact so vast was the spell put on them, even those in Mistral, Atlas, and Vacuo trembled in ecstasy knowing something freaking hot was happening. Half the crowd then fainted, Pyrrha and Ruby were just one of the many casualties.

Winter and Glynda scurried quickly out of the arena to join the screaming masses as the Jaune and Nora began stretching, knowing their job done.

Nora rolled her shoulders, hopping in place. “Last chance to back out, Jaune. I won’t think any less of you.”

Jaune arched his back, his hands on his hips, stretching till he heard a gratifying pop. “Oh? Is that mercy from the queen, I hear? How rare. I’m afraid I have to refuse,” Jaunes eyes narrowed a Nora’s own. “A king never backs down.”

Nora’s smile could cut a man down. “Oh well, I tried.” And then she crushed two apple sized lightning dust crystals in her hands, lightning dancing across her body, eyes and hair which shot up like a middle finger to gravity, and she shivered in masochistic pleasure. “Oh yeah, that’s the stuff.” She cracks her neck. “When I win, I’m snorting that shit off your dick!”

Jaune stomps a foot down, a shock-wave sending dust flying away from him, as he squared up, his aura flaring as he amped up it up. “Don’t threaten me with a good time Nora, you’ll just make me fight harder~”

“Hehehe,” Then with a crack of thunder, the ground where Nora once stood crumpled, a series of foot prints broke the ground in a straight towards Jaune before Nora blurred into sight before Jaune throwing a right jab at his jaw!

Jaune however felt more than saw her, as his aura dangled a spider thin thread of awareness of where Nora was coming. Tilting his head to the side avoiding the jab, and then bringing up his left arm to block her left cross.

He put up his guard as she had him on the defensive, as Nora sent a avalanche of jabs to prod his defense. He felt her tiny, dense hands hit his aura clad arms like a automatic shotgun! Each blow sending him inching ever so slightly back.

But, his defense held, no matter the number of punches she could send, she couldn’t break his defense yet! So he waits and watched for her to over extend.

Nora felt a flash of danger in her aura sense, and jumped back over ten feet just as Jaune nearly grabbed her wrist, a move that would have left her at the mercy of his superior reach.

Jaune saw his chance and rushed Nora, sending his own valley of jabs, but keeping the superior range of his arms in account to send punches that put him a much lower risk than she was by staying out of her reach.

Nora chose to block the first set of jabs, and instantly regretted it, as Jaune may have been much slower than Nora sending out maybe one punch per five of her own, his superior range, mass, and aura amplification let him hit almost five times harder than her! Each of his hands glowing with primordial light, each hit releasing a shock wave of sheer force, each punch feeling like a artillery shell from an Atlas Warship, and they only grew harder to endure as she could feel Jaune’s aura amping higher and higher.

Nora made a tactical decison to keep herself in the fight, and let one punch hit her downward into the chest, just as she leaned back and jumped! She was launched across the arena, but that’s what she wanted, to get space.

She wiped out across the dirt, but soon regained control, and clawed her hands into the dirt and pulled herself into a crouch. She focused her electric power and her semblance, shifting her allocation of power from strength to speed, stamina, and reflexes. She just couldn’t hit hard enough to fight Jaune on equal ground without Magnihild, but weapons weren’t allowed in Leadership Challenges, but she could definitely out speed him and possibly, out last him, and if nothing else leverage her superior fighting experience to win.

Jaune felt more than saw her change in stance, as a gust of wind hit him and with it what felt like a thousand hits to his solar plexus. A gasp was forced out him, as his amped up danger sense could no longer keep track of Nora. He re-speced near instantly and put his perception into defense, he couldn’t keep track of Nora and defend against at the same time. He crouched and guarded letting her hit like a lightning.

But, so what if she was lightning? He’d be the earth that grounded her!

He could feel her chipping away at his aura, even as he amped its regeneration. He smiled with pride, but knew he couldn’t play defensive forever. She’d wear him down.

Nora hit him with everything she had, making sure to hit consecutively in the same spot so he’d really feel it. But, it didn’t feel like she was making a real dent in his reserves. Then she saw it, a slight tremble in his left calf.

She lunged forward and kick his tree trunk of leg a dozen-dozen times, then it went flying like she wanted. Jaune’s body leaving the earth, she smirked, didn’t matter how good your defense was, if you’re in the air you’re at gravity's mercy, and gravity is a bitch.

Nora got behind him and put her power into strength again and let him have it. Throwing him up sky high, Jaune disappearing like a twinkling star. That wasn’t the end of it thought, and Nora shattered the ground following him up.

Jaune never knew the Emerald forest was so pretty from a couple thousand feet up, but you learn something knew everyday. But, what he did know is that Nora would follow up that assault with something gruesome. So he re-amped his awareness, by twice, by tens times, by hundreds times, by a thousand! Then he felt it that the spider thread awareness widening into an almost prescience level of knowledge as he knew not saw where Nora was coming from.

He could laugh, that it was her throwing him up here that gave him the chance to actually track her. He followed the threads of awareness, and looked above as Nora tried to hit him with a spinning double axe kick to his head.

He caught her by the feet the moment gravity renewed her hold on the two, he gave her a wink, and as they fell he spun her by the feet faster and faster till he let her go, sending her down with a air shattering shock wave.

Nora hit the ground like a ginger meteor and she crumpled prone the last vestiges of semblance going out, her hair falling down, and a shock wave knocking over unfortunate watchers.

They wouldn’t get a chance to get back up soon, as Jaune landed on Nora with a shockwave as Jaune mounted her stomach, a hand cocked back.

“Still want to fight to be leader?” Jaune asked smiling, a glowing hand cocked.

“Nope!” Nora said cheerfully. “Maybe later~, but, that was the most fun I’ve had since I got here!”

“That’s great Nora!” Jaune said getting up. “Now is there anybody else that wants to fight me for leadership of team JNPR?”

“Yeah, I do!” Yang yelled out, striping out of her clothes, showing off two double DD’s.

“Me too!” Coco said stripping in tandem.

“Oh, whys that?” Jaune asks.

“Well you can’t strip naked, and fight, then leave! We came here to watch y’all fuck! Now you’re going to leave us blue balled! Oh, hell no!” Yang says, while Coco nods.

“Then come get some!” Jaune said still naked and glistening!

AN: I had fun writing this. The original idea was Jaune and Nora getting oiled up and a wrestling, but it somehow turned into this.

[revuedepresse30]

Forte tempête, fans d'Indochine écrasés et concerts mémorables : ce qu'il faut retenir de la 18eme édition de Musilac

Dimanche 15 juillet en fin d'après-midi, la 18e édition du festival de Musilac s'apprête à vivre sa dernière soirée au bord de l'eau. A cette heure-ci, la foule de festivaliers ne se dirige pas vers l’esplanade où se déroulent les concerts mais vers un écran retransmettant la diffusion de la finale de la Coupe du monde. Mais alors que les Bleus mènent 2-1 à la mi-temps et que le début du concert de l’Impératrice vient de débuter, c'est le drame. Emporté par une forte tempête, l'écran géant menace de tomber. Sous le coup des violentes intempéries, des barrières sont emportées par le vent, des tentes sont démolies et la grande scène est fendue en deux. Dans le calme (et l'angoisse), le site est évacué mais les dégâts matériels sont trop importants pour reprendre les concerts. Musilac est terminé. Malgré cette déception dominicale, cette édition restera dans les annales. Retour sur les trois premiers journées qui s'étaient alors déroulées sous une météo clémente.

Jour 1 - Un lancement réussi

Premier jour de festival, les artistes commencent à arriver en baskstage et les derniers préparatifs sont peaufinés. Pendant ce temps, le soleil illumine le lac du Bourget. Si le calme se fait sentir au bord de l’eau, il en est autrement côté festival. En effet, Yonaka, quatuor originaire de Brighton, inaugure la Korner. Sur scène, trois musiciens et une chanteuse particulièrement charismatiques. Une chose est sûre, ils sont ravis d’être là. “C’est l’un des plus beaux endroits où on a jamais été, quand on est arrivés on s’est dit mais wtf”, s'exclame la jeune femme entre deux titres. Dès cette première heure, l’énergie est présente :  le batteur se met torse nu, la chanteuse tire les cheveux de son guitariste… Les titres s’enchaînent : Run, Bubble Gum ou encore I wanna be a rock star. Ce qu’ils vont sans conteste devenir.

Yonaka sur la scène Korner. Crédit : Manon Michel

Une heure plus tard, c’est la célèbre course de l’esplanade, durant laquelle les festivaliers s’élancent vers les deux scènes principales, Lac et Montagne. Avec cette année un community manager déguisé en Trump pour l’occasion.

17h10, Albert Hammond Jr., guitariste des Strokes, baptise la scène Lac du festival. Chemise rouge et pantalon blanc, il vient présenter son quatrième album, dédié à son frère jumeau mort-né. Et lorsque son dernier titre résonne, il n’hésite pas à fendre la foule en scandant “I don’t Care”.

Albert Hammond Jr. Crédit : Manon Michel

Feu! Chatterton prend ensuite le relai côté Montagne. Exit la tenue de plage décontractée de l’après-midi, c’est bien en costume gris qu’arrive le chanteur avec sa voix de crooner. Et quel meilleur endroit que Musilac pour entonner “Ginger, les montagnes vacillent”.

Retour ensuite sur la scène du Lac avec Lomepal. Ou Antoine, comme il préfère se présenter. Avec son pull au logo jaune “pizza”, qu’il enlèvera quelques titres plus tard pour se mettre torse nu - et provoquer les hurlements des fans - Lomepal parvient à déchaîner la foule sur des titres tels que Yeux disent, 70 ou Bécane.

Lomepal. Crédit : Arnault Breysse

Vient ensuite l’un des moments le plus attendu du festival : l’arrivée des mythiques Depeche Mode. Avant même qu’ils ne soient sur scène, les hurlements résonnent tandis que les backstage sont évacués en urgence pour laisser passer les stars. Des stars qui ont l’énergie de la scène mais également le look : tatoué pour la plupart, pailletés pour la majorité, ils brillent dans la nuit. Avec ses mimiques de diva, Dave Gahan n’a rien perdu de son énergie. Si certaines longueurs ont pu se faire sentir sur ce set de deux heures, les deux titres finaux - Enjoy the Silence et Just Can’t Get Enought - ont clôturé le tout en beauté.

Depeche Mode. Crédit : Arnault Breysse

Enfin, tandis que Simple Minds ravive les années 80 sur la scène Montagne, la britannique Findlay se présente sur le Korner, dans une ambiance plus intimiste. Si la foule est éparse, les fans sont bien présents. Et quand Findlay ne lance pas un morceau “pour les fumeurs de weed”, elle n’hésite pas à lancer un “allez les Bleus” pour faire rugir la foule. Avant de laisser place à Joris Delacroix pour un set électronique final.

Findlay. Crédit : Arnault Breysse

Le lac du Bourget de nuit. Crédit : Manon Michel

Jour 2 - La journée des découvertes

Deuxième jour de festival, le soleil brûle toujours plus intensément. En atteste les brancards de la Croix Rouge souvent remplis. Côté Montagne, Cats on Trees lance les festivités. Le quintette est là pour présenter son nouvel album, Néon, sorti en mars dernier. Malgré le soleil de plomb, la foule est déjà dense et ne résiste pas à l’appel du titre le plus connu, Sirens Call.

Sur la scène du Lac, c’est The Temperance Movment qui arrive avec une énergie rare. Néanmoins, si le public était moins dense, le concert de Foé - qui se déroulait quasiment en même temps à la scène du Korner - était particulièrement convainquant. Accompagné d’un unique musicien, “celui qui vient du sud” - comme il s’est lui-même présenté - a rapidement conquis le public. Avec des chansons “composées dans sa chambre” alternant des sonorités électroniques, pop et rap. Des morceaux toujours rythmés, et particulièrement poétiques. Seul en scène, il interprète son titre phare, Bouquet de pleures, avant de faire danser le public avec Alors Lise et Le mâle a dit.

Alors que le soleil se couche, c’est Rilès qui enflamme la scène Montagne avec sa team, tous flanqués des maillots français. Puis vient Beth Ditto, toujours aussi élégante. Au-delà de sa voix si particulière et de son énergie, elle n’hésite pas à enchaîner les blagues et à entraîner son accent français : “C’est tellement beau ici” “Ou on dit belle?”, demande-t-elle. Le point d'orgue est atteint avec Heavy Cross en guise de morceau final. Avant de conclure au moment de quitter la scène : “merci pour le rêve”. Classe.

Beth Ditto. Crédit : Manon Michel

A chaque soir ses têtes d’affiches, voici venu le temps de Deep Purple, icône du rock à l’état pur (entre solos de guitare, bandanas et feu projeté sur l’écran arrière). Quelques minutes après le titre Smoke in the water, Orelsan s’élève d’ailleurs dans la fumée, telle une apparition mystique. C’est parti pour 1h15 de live digne d’un véritable showman, entre changement de tenues et enchaînements des tubes : La fête est finie, Basique, La Pluie, Paradis…

Orelsan. Crédit : Arnault Breysse

La foule présente pour Orelsan. Crédit : T. Bianchin

Si la foule se dissipe en partie une fois le show terminé, ils auront sûrement raté quelque chose sans le set d’Oscar and the Wolf, jeune flamand au charisme étonnant. Tout est là : la voix, les paillettes et l’énergie.

Oscar and the Wolf. Crédit : Manon Michel

Jour 3 - Roméo Elvis VS Indochine

Samedi 14 juillet, loin du défilé des Champs-Elysées, Musilac s’éveille timidement. En début de journée, le public s'échauffe avec la québécoise Charlotte Cardin. Un événement, puisqu’elle se produisait pour la première fois dans un festival français. Sa voix, aux intonations d’Adèle, alterne les morceaux en anglais et en français, ainsi que plusieurs reprises, notamment Wicked Game de Chris Isaak.

Charlotte Cardin. Crédit : Arnault Breysse

Un changement de genre s’opère ensuite avec le punk de Nova Twins et le rock du quintette d’Amber Rone, rappelant Foals. A 19h35, l’ambiance devient électrique. En cause : l’arrivée de Roméo Elvis, ainsi qu’une belle première tempête. Alors qu’il termine son titre Pogo, laissant la foule en transe, le vent et la pluie s’abattent sur le lac du Bourget. Qu’à cela ne tienne, les barrières peuvent bien voler tant que le public est face au rappeur belge. Seul soucis : les fans d'Indochine au premier rang n'apprécieront visiblement pas les pogos, n'hésitant pas à faire des doigts d'honneur au rappeur pendant une bonne partie du set. Écrasés par les mouvements déclenchés par le frère d'Angèle, certains seront repêchés par l'équipe de sécurité.

Roméo Elvis. Crédit : Arnault Breysse

Le soleil revient ensuite avec MC Solaar, le tonton du rap français absent depuis dix ans de la scène. Béret vissé sur la tête, il enchaîne les tubes. Signe du destin, il commencera d’ailleurs son set avec Qui sème le vent récolte le tempo, quelques instants après la fin de la tempête. Avant de terminer par Solaar Pleure, comme un au-revoir teinté de tristesse.

MC Solaar. Crédit : Arnault Breysse

Viennent enfin les tants attendus Indochine. A défaut d’un feu d’artifice, c’est bien une pluie de confettis qui est lancée lors du show du groupe. A Nîmes la veille, le groupe enchaîne toujours les dates, n’hésitant pas à interpréter un titre qui colle si bien au moment : Un été français. Et enchaîne avec le titre 13e vague, “pour tous les surfers du lac”. Comme à chaque concert, Nicola Sirkis fait le tour du public et touche les mains. Avant de laisser la place à la clôture électronique, avec Rone et Chloé. Et beaucoup de confettis.

Indochine. Crédit : T. Bianchin

Indochine sous les confettis (les mêmes confettis qui voleront durant la tempête le jour suivant). Crédit : T. Bianchin

L’édition 2019 est d’ores et déjà programmée au 11 au 14 juillet.

from Les Inrocks - musique https://ift.tt/2mp8vX5 via IFTTT

[levoyagedenosvies]

Part 4: South Island, New Zealand

Nous passons la première journée à Christchurch sous la pluie et un ciel gris -  après un mois passé sous un climat tropicale, nous avons un peu du mal à nous acclimater et cherchons refuge dans tous les cafés de la ville. L’atmosphère dans certains d’entre eux nous rappelle celle de Shoreditch: style industriel, mélange de mobiliers vintage et contemporains, craft beer, craft coffee et serveurs barbus et discrètement tatoués derrière les comptoirs. Un bout de la maison à l’autre bout du monde nous met en confiance. Eran va se faire couper les cheveux chez le barbier; il ressort avec une belle coupe à la Thomas Shelby. Quant à moi je vais me faire tatouer la cheville et repart avec une emprunte métaphorique de ce j’appelle mon univers.  Finalement ç’aura été une journée productive.

La première nuit dans le van se passe plutôt bien - nous galèrons un peu avec les rideaux mais en dehors de ce détail qui nous poursuivra jusqu’à la fin du voyage, nous sommes assez satisfaits de ce old school van retro hippie à la carcasse fleurie. Nous savions à quoi nous attendre de toute façon donc pas de grosse surprise ou déception. Le seul bémol est qu’il fait bien 15 degrés de moins qu’en Australie, ce qui laisse présager quelques nuits et réveils difficiles.

La route qui nous mène vers notre destination du jour traverse des collines jaunies par une sécheresse estivale, des rivières et de large forêts de pins. Un paysage de campagne idyllique dans lequel d’innombrables moutons se fondent parfaitement dans le décor. A peine sortis de la lisière de la forêt, nous avons l’impression d’être dans un autre monde. Nous y découvrons le lac Tekapo aux eaux opalescentes, encerclé d’une verdure dense, aux feuillages contrastants de couleurs éclatantes. Apres une courte ballade, nous reprenons le van et empruntons une route bitumée par les rives du superbe lac Pukaki, avec vue sur les sommets enneigés du Mont Cook. Nous nous rangeons de la route pour déjeuner et préparer une salade niçoise que l’on déguste sur le toit de notre van, en tête à tête avec cette carte postale ensoleillée.

A quelques pas de là, nous trouvons un free campsite qui promet la même vue imprenable sur le lac et le Mont Cook, avec en bonus le filtre coucher de soleil. Nous y posons le camp et passons le reste de la journée à jouer aux cartes et contempler les montagnes majestueuses qui se reflètent dans le bleu du lac. Tout semble parfait jusqu’à ce que je fasse un détour par la case toilettes. Une odeur d’une immondice transperçante y règne - je m’enfuis, pas même le temps de faire pipi. Seulement voilà que 3 minutes suffisent à perpétuer l’odeur, qui s’est sauvagement emparée de mes cheveux et mes vêtements. Il n’y a pas de douches dans le camping; l’odeur me suivra jusqu’au lendemain.

Au abords du lac Pukaki se trouve une petite échoppe de saumon. On peut y acheter du saumon frais des fermes d’élevage de la région; cru, fumé ou en sashimi. Nous faisons le plein et roulons jusqu’à Wanaka pour déguster notre sandwich saumon fumé fondant, face au lac du même nom. Les canards ont le flair - ils nous repèrent au loin. En quelques minutes nous voilà encerclés, prêts à défendre nos dernières miettes face à l’adversaire palmé, au large bec jaune. Cet épisode nous faire sourire mais nous rions jaune - du moins pour ma part. Eran s’apprête à sauter en skydive. Je ressens sa peur et son excitation. Je serai rassurée de le récupérer en entier.

Je l’accompagne à l’aéroport local duquel il décollera quelques heures plus tard et s’envolera jusqu’à 4500 mètres d’altitude pour sauter en parachute. Je le repère au loin durant sa descente et l’accueille sur Terre avec un énorme sourire, le cœur allégé. Un peu étourdi par cette expérience, Eran me confie le volant. Ou du moins jusqu’à ce que je faillisse renverser des cyclistes - c’est là que s’arrêtent mes exploits de routarde qui laissent encore à désirer, soit après 1 heure 30 de conduite. Eran clamait jusque là que le skydive ne lui avait même pas fait peur - des sensations fortes en voulais-tu, en voilà.

Après cette petite frayeur, nous arrivons finalement aux Blue Pools. Nous y trouvons une rivière d’un bleu crystalline; sa transparence est sans pareil et témoigne de la pureté naturelle de l’eau glacée. S’y baigner donne l’impression d’un plongeons dans un bloque de glaçons. Pour nous c’est aussi l’occasion de se rafraîchir - nous ne nous sommes pas lavés depuis 2 jours. En rentrant des Blue Pools, nous repassons par la ville de Wanaka. Ce soir nous dînons dehors. A l’heure où nous finissons de manger nous ne trouverons plus de campsite disponible et finissons par passer la nuit en bord de route sous les pins. Un ciel plein d’étoiles veille sur nous.

Ce matin nous prenons la route avant le lever du jour - nous avons prévu de descendre vers la région des Fjords. Nous traversons toutes sortes de paysages; des collines arides dépourvues de vie, des vallées de montagnes, des champs de moutons par milliers, mais aussi de lamas, de cerfs et de biches. Nous sillonnons les rivières bleutées, entre les géants volcaniques, parfois enneigés. 6 heures plus tard nous arrivons à Milford Sound, sous un ciel bleu éclatant. Nous déjeunons face au fjord le plus connu de la Nouvelle Zélande, et comprenons très vite pourquoi il s’attire tant d’attention. Les falaises du fjord s'érigent verticalement des eaux sombres, les pics montagneux touchent le ciel et reflètent une lumière d’or. Nous nous imprégnons de ce décor en compagnie des oiseaux en migration qui pataugent dans l’eau.

Pas loin du camp où nous passerons la nuit, et prendrons enfin une douche chaude, sinue une rivière d’eau au courant puissant. La rivière est bordée de granite et de forêts verdoyantes. Nous nous y aventurons. Un arbre déraciné, étalé de tout son long apporte un peu de texture et d’ombre. Eran y trouve un appui pour sa sieste et s’allonge sur son tronc. Il se laisse bercer par le ruissellement de l’eau et s’endort. Pendant ce temps, j’écris au bord de la rivière en chantant. La lumière commence à faiblir, je réveille Eran en douceur. Nous faisons l’amour en cette pleine nature sauvage, avant de repartir vers le camp.

Nous nous réveillons à l’aube à nouveau, cette fois pour parcourir le fjord en canoë. Nous sommes récompensés par un ciel en aquarelle, tinté de rose et mauve, qui se reflètent sur les pics montagneux qui nous entourent. Nous passons trois heures exquises sur l’eau - des phoques viennent parfois à notre rencontre, d’autres se contentent de nous observer du coin de l’œil depuis leur rocher. L’eau est si claire que l’on peut même voir de large étoiles de mer à travers. Durant notre tour nous apprenons d’avantage sur Milford Sound, sa formation, ses cascades, son climat; c’est l’un des endroits en Nouvelle Zélande, et sur Terre, où il pleut le plus. Nous aurons eu l’honneur et le plaisir de le découvrir un jour de soleil et grand bleu.

Cette expérience nous laisse sans voix - nous reprenons la route en silence, je pense tout bas: « Être témoin de l’immensité de la nature et s’imprégner de la beauté naturelle de la Terre est un cadeau extraordinaire qui ne peut s’apprécier que dans l’instant du moment présent. Demain cette expérience ne sera déjà plus qu’un souvenir. » Je le savais déjà, mais pour la première fois depuis notre départ, je le ressens en moi: ce qui compte est d’être présent dans le moment. La sensation de bonheur et de plénitude que l’on éprouve ne perdurera pas mais elle peut se cultiver si on est conscient de son bonheur. Sur le canoë, sur ce fjord, sous un soleil doré, nous nous sommes sentis pleinement heureux et chanceux de vivre un tel moment.

C’est l’heure du déjeuner. Après cette réflexion, nous nous arrêtons pour manger près d’un lac que nous avions repéré la veille, le long de la route. Nous nous allongeons dans les hautes herbes le temps de digérer et nous endormons. Réveillés par les cris des oiseaux, nous nous laissons emporter à nouveau par l’envie de communier en pleine nature et faisons l’amour dans les hautes herbes - et les orties- au bord du lac. “C’est donc ça que l’on appelle vivre d’amour et d’eau fraîche” me dis-je tout bas.

Cette belle journée se conclura par une marche de quelques heures en montagne, surplombant d’immenses vallées qui se décuplent à perte de vue. Là encore, on s’en prend plein les yeux. Nous passons la nuit dans un free camping au bord de l’eau. On sort notre table et nos chaises de camping sur la plage de galets, et on se cuisine de fajitas face au coucher de soleil, qui disparaît bientôt derrière les montagnes en nous laissant un goût de liberté.

Aujourd’hui nous visitons la ville de Queenstown. Après avoir mangé en terrasse et parcouru son centre bras dessus bras dessous, nous prenons le skyline direction les hauteurs pour y faire de la luge urbaine - étendez par là une sorte d’auto tamponneuse sans moteur qui fonctionne à la glisse. Le circuit surplombe le tout Queenstown, ses lacs et ses montagnes. Nous faisons plusieurs tours excités comme des enfants par cette attraction qui nous plonge dans un épisode de Crash Bandicoot. Eran remporte deux courses sur trois. Nous terminons la journée en camping où nous rencontrons une famille française qui a aussi entrepris de voyager le monde avec leur plus jeune enfant, Charles, 11 ans. Nous adorons l’idée - il n’y a pas d’âge pour voyager, mettre sa vie entre parenthèse et vivre de ses envies.

Les deux jours suivants s’écoulent en partie sur la route. Nous les passons à sillonner l’île direction le nord-ouest. Nous nous arrêtons à Franz Joseph, le glacier n’est pas très impressionnant mais nous y voyons l’occasion de boire un verre avec un ami d’Eran qui s’y trouve également en ce moment. Nous marquons un autre arrêt aux Pancake Rocks, formations naturelles rocheuses à l’allure de pancakes; et au large des côtes pour observer des colonies de phoques venus mettre bas. Au fur et à mesure de nos déplacements, les paysages se font de plus en plus tropicaux. On y voit des similitudes avec le Queensland en Australie. La route épouse les contours crantés d’un littoral sauvage où se mélangent falaises, rivières et forêt truffée de fougères et de palmiers. Au bout de ce périple nous arrivons dans la région Tasman.

Abel Tasman, est un parc costale de plages au sable doré. Nous y passons les trois prochains jours, principalement à chiller et à arpenter les plages le long de la mer Tasmanienne, aux couleurs bleues turquoises. Le campsite que l’on a choisi abrite un groupe de jeunes woogers -ils travaillent pour le site quelques heures par jour en échange de l’hospice. L’ambiance est relâchée, bon enfant. Elle nous rappelle celle des mahanot - on s’y sent bien. Contre toute attente on se lie d’une amitié furtive non pas avec un jeune du groupe mais avec un visiteur anglais de 50 ans, Matty.

Matty écoute du punk et s’allume un joint dans l’espace commun. Attiré par l’odeur, nous nous retournons. Il nous propose de se joindre à lui, ce que nous faisons.

A travers nos conversations, nous découvrons une part de la vie et de la personnalité de Matty. Matty est jardinier et vit avec sa famille recomposée à Milton Keys. Ce qui l’a amené ici est l’envie de renouer avec sa premiere fille. Il l’a eu à 18 ans et n’était pas vraiment présent mais “il n’y a pas d’âge pour construire des liens. Si nous arrivons à renouer, cela nous laissera bien 20 belles années pour profiter et apprendre à se connaître.” Nous acquiesçons. A travers son discours, nous comprenons que Matty a une accoutumance à l’alcool et la fumette, ce qui ne fait pas moins de lui une personne pleine de bon sens et de sagesse. Matty est mince, son visage est creusé, ses bras tatoués. On suspecte une autre addiction dans le passé, mais cela n’a pas d’importance. Nous restons avec Matty jusqu’à la tombée de la nuit.

Ce soir les étoiles nous apparaissent par milliers, et très nettement dans le ciel. A l’œil nu, nous pouvons y voir la Voie Lactée. Dans la nuit noire, nous nous couchons dans l’herbe au pied de notre van pour admirer ce spectacle éblouissant. On ne peut s’empêcher de questionner le cosmo et de soupçonner la vie dans un ailleurs inconnu.

Instinctivement je me lève à l’aube, le soleil est en train de se lever derrière les montagnes. Le ciel passe du rose à l’orange. Je sors du van pour en apprécier la splendeur. Je marche pieds nus dans l’herbe mouillée de la rosée du matin. Les oiseaux et les vaches s’éveillent, leurs cris viennent briser le silence de la nuit. J’attends patiemment que le soleil fasse son entrée par la grande porte et lorsqu’il apparaît enfin, un frisson de bonheur me parcours le corps - je ne me lasserai jamais de ces moments. Je reste un instant encore pour sentir sa chaleur se poser sur mon visage avant d’aller me recoucher.

Plus tard dans la journée, nous reprenons la route, direction la côte est. À mi-chemin nous nous arrêtons à Picton, une ville portuaire un peu choisie au hasard. Les restaurants de la ville annoncent une journée particulière aujourd’hui: celle de la moule. Nous nous asseyons en terrasse de l’un d’entre eux pour commander le plat du jour et de la région - très bon! Repus et reposés, nous reprenons le volant à la découverte des fjords environnants.

En chemin nous apercevons un campsite au loin, nous reviendrons y poser le camp en fin de journée. Le campsite est charmant. A notre arrivée, nous recevons des muffins faits maison, tout droit sortis du four. L’hôte nous explique que nous partagerons le site avec les animaux de sa ferme, qu’elle nous encourage à visiter et à nourrir. Elle nous révèle aussi que l’arrière forêt est habitée de vers luisants qui apparaissent à la tombée de la nuit. Curieux et impatients de découvrir ces créatures féeriques, nous nous aventurons dans la forêt avec nos lampes de poche, après avoir sympathisé avec nos voisins à quatre pattes. Lorsque la nuit tombe nous somme dans l’obscurité complète, en pleine forêt. Les vers luisants fluorescent et apparaissent par millier, comme des lampions verts bleus, à la surface des rochers et de la terre - c’est absolument magique. En sortant de la forêt, nous traversons des champs surplombés de montagnes et pins noirs qui apportent une touche dramatique dans ce paysage nuageux et obscure. En quelques minutes nous avons transité du magique au mystique - c’est ce que j’appelle les états d’âme de Mère Nature, qui n’en a pas fini de nous impressionner.

Un arrêt par Kaikoura nous plonge dans un épisode de Planet Earth. Nous naviguons en mer aux petites heures du matin à la recherche de baleines et autres créatures marines. Au bout de quelques minutes nous apercevons la queue d’un cachalot plongeant dans l’océan - un spectacle époustouflant. Après cet aperçu furtif, nous devrons patienter longuement avant de revoir un géant des mers. Lorsque le moment arrive enfin, notre attente est récompensée par un quart d’heure inédit en la présence d’une créature majestueuse venue reprendre son souffle à la surface de l’eau. “C’est si grand!” se dit-on en silence. Un balayement de sa queue déclenche de grosses vagues qui se dispersent dans l’océan, et annonce son départ vers les eaux profondes. C’est si beau et émouvant - personne ne dit un mot et mon envie de vomir disparaît.

Nous nous rapprochons maintenant des côtes, escortés par une bande de dauphins jouettes. Sur notre trajectoire se trouvent de larges rochers érigés des eaux turquoises. Ils sont occupés par des colonies de phoques et leurs petits, ainsi que des milliers d’oiseaux marins. C’est en regardant Planet Earth que l’envie de voyager m’a rattrapée. Je ne pouvais me résigner à l’idée de ne voir les richesses de la Terre qu’à travers un écran, j’avais besoin de les voir de mes propres yeux. Aujourd’hui encore, nous avons vécu un épisode digne de Planet Earth. Ce sont des images que je n’oublierai jamais.

Un petit marché local de fruits de mer nous attend à notre retour à Kaikoura. Nous mangeons de délicieuses croquettes de saumons frais et brochettes de scampis sur la place principale de la ville. Deux retraités y ont installé leurs enceintes pour nous jouer les classiques du rock à la guitare et la basse. C’est sur une reprise de Hotel California que nous absorbons le soleil en nous léchant les doigts.

Pour notre dernière journée en Nouvelle Zélande nous repassons par Christchurch pour y rendre notre van et déjeuner en terrasse. C’est ici que se termine notre chapitre ”sur la route”, et que nous disons à dieu aux nuits chaudes et froides en van, et à la liberté et spontanéité de poser le camp où bon nous semble et vent nous emporte. Dès demain, un nouveau chapitre de notre voyage s’ouvrira: en backpack, sur le continent Sud Américain.