#jason gideon x child reader

[hyperfixatedoncrimminalminds]

Maybe Gideon interacting with a child/teen reader. Maybe one of the other BAU team members kid??

Jason Gideon X Niece Child Reader

Request: Maybe Gideon interacting with a child/teen reader. Maybe one of the other BAU team members kid??

I need to write more Gideon oneshots.

Third person pov...

The sun was shining, birds were singing, and the slight smell of charcoal and hamburger wafted through the air. It was a beautiful day for a BBQ at Gideon's house. It was a normal Saturday for the team and for once they actually get to enjoy their Saturday

Before the team left for home Gideon invited them and their family round for a BBQ, which surprised the team, but they all agreed.

Currently it was 11am and Gideons niece Y/N was getting ready, the kid was nervous about meeting the team as she hadn't before. The H/C girl was done with her hair and ran downstairs where her uncle was setting up the barbeque.

As she came out she ran over to her uncle. "Uncle I'm ready are they here yet!" She exclaimed making the man jump, he looked behind him and smiles at his energetic niece.

Usually she is on the quiet side but this bargeque is making her excited. "Don't worry Y/N they will ve her every soon, why don't you get some games out ti play with Jack and Henry" he suggests.

Y/Ns smiles grows even wider. "Oh yes I should do that" she said before running to the shed and getting out some games to play.

After that she helped her Uncle bring out the many chairs they need for everyone to sit outside and enjoy the sun.

Each member was bringing something, Derek and Penelope are bringing drinks for both adults and kids, Hotch and his wife Haley were bringing snacks and foodie stuff, Spencer and Emily were bringing games for the kids and anyone else to play.

Finally, JJ and Will were bringing the burgers, hotdogs and other food to be grilled so they wont run out, Henry and Jack are also coming so Y/N has kids her age to play with.

Once the clock hit 11.30am the door bell rang, Y/N jumps over to her Uncle who heard the bell and was walking back inside. "They're here they're here!" Exclaims the young girl.

Gideon laughs as he opens the door, Y/N then goes quiet and hides behind her Uncle. "Hey Gideon!" Exclaimed Derek as he walked in holding drinks for the adults.

Behind him came Penelope woth drinks for the kids "Hello sir" she says politely before running after Derek, next came JJ and Will woth Henry. JJ had the burgers and Will was holding the hot dig buns and other bits. "Thank you for inviting us" Says the Southern man walking after his wife.

After them came Spencer and Emily, "We've got games!" Exclaims the black haired woman making Henry and Penelope cheer, Spencer shook his head and set the game she bought down.

Lastly Hotch and his Wife walk in, Jack runs in and up to Henry the too boys begin talking fast. Hotch was holding snacks for everyone, as was Haley.

Once the food was put down and everyone had a drink and a place to sit, Gideon introduced them to his niece. "Everybody, this is my niece, Y/N” Gideon said, pulling the girl out from behind his legs, She was shy and timid, but the team welcomed her with open arms.

The team members all smiled and welcomed her to the gathering. Y/N seemed a bit shy, but the team was friendly and she eventually came out of her shell.

Y/N was as an only child, so she was delighted to have such a large group of people over to her uncle's house. She watched as the team ate, laughed, and talked. She was amazed by how everyone seemed to get along so well, like a family.

Throughout the day, Y/N hung around the team, listening to their stories and asking them questions.

She was especially interested in how the BAU team solved their cases. Of course her Uncle had told he rmany of them but was happy to hear them from everyone else.

As the team enjoyed their BBQ and getting to know Y/N, Hotch and JJ brought over their sons to meet Y/N, Henry and Jack instantly ran up to Y/N and they all quickly became friends.

The H/C girl lit up when she was playing with Hotch and JJ’s kids, they decided to play football, Y/N was pretty good she was always a quick runner.

The team laughed and talked as they watched the children play. This was more than just a BBQ now; it was a family gathering. Everyone was happy to have a chance to meet Gideon’s niece and relax for the day which no cases.

The sun eventually began to set and it was time for everybody to go home. One by one, the BAU team members said their goodbyes and took their leave. But before leaving, Gideon smiled and told Y/N that they would stay in touch and they would have another gathering soon.

The BAU team left Gideon’s house feeling content and special. They had all enjoyed their BBQ and meeting Y/N.

Before leaving Jack and Henry surprised their parents by hugging Y/N goodbye, each member had taken many pictures throughout the day to remember how much fun they had.

The team left with smiles on their faces. this BBQ was definitely one to remember, after clearing up Y/N was getting ready for bed when her Uncle knocked.

"Come in!" She exclaimed jumping onto her bed, Gideon walked in a smile on his usually neutral face. "Did you have fun today Y/N?" He asks her already knowing the answer.

The little girl grinned up at him. "Yes definitely the best fun I ever had Uncle" she says, Gideon then tucks her into bed.

"I'm glad, good night sparrow" he says kissing her forehead ans turning out the light. "Good night Uncle" Says Y/N before closing her eyes ans falling asleep.

The end!

Hope you liked this oneshot as usual so sorry for the grammar and Spelling mistakes!

Request are open!

Wors count: 1042

[bensonsbobblehead]

Mistakes— Spencer Reid x Mom!reader

Summary: Spencer choosing to leave you when you were pregnant

Pairings: Spencer Reid x Mom!reader

Category: Angst & Fluff

Content Warnings: Pregnancy and abandonment

Word count: 1.9k

[masterlist]

Spencer is the love of your life, you both had a deep connection among no other. He had known you inside and out. Spencer was your everything and you were his. You were both in school in Vegas and both had fell in love fairly quickly. Moving in together and you were the best versions of each other.

“Hey baby, I’m home!” Spencer shouted as he walked into the apartment. You were in the bathroom face drenched with tears. You were pregnant, and according to the ultrasound very pregnant. With you both in school and Spencer getting a job you could raise a child, you thought. You also knew he was waiting to hear back from the FBI.

Spencer talked about being a dad in the future all the time. It made you happy knowing you were the one he wanted to raise his children.

You quickly wiped your face and stuffed the test and ultrasound back into your bag. You opened the door to see a very smiley Spencer “I have great news, I got into the BAU!” he said excitedly “Well I more so had an interesting conversation with a man named Jason Gideon but still.” He ran to you hugging you. Your mind was completely scrambled.

“Oh my gosh, babe that’s so great! I’m so happy for you!” You said with a smile. You were genuinely happy for him. You knew where the FBI headquarters were, meaning you would have a transfer. You didn’t mind though if it meant starting a family with Spencer.

“Are you okay though? It looks like you’ve been crying” Spencer said with concern in his eyes.

“Spencer…I’m .. im pregnant.” You said in a whisper with a slight grin, and the blood drained from Spencer’s face.

“What? How?” He said in a blank tone. “I’m pregnant Spencer, one month exactly and you know how” rolling your eyes, He stared off, you were so nervous. It was silent for a few minutes before you spoke up.

“Spence say something.” You begged he turned towards you. “I’m sorry but .. I can’t have this baby with you, I just got into my dream job Y/N.” He said grabbing his keys and heading for the door.

You stood there completely in shock. You never thought he would react this way. You were willing to move with him. This was everything you wanted and he doesn’t want it. You started to quickly pack everything you could all the things that were important. You didn’t want to ruin his life and he made his choice.

Once you had a few bags packed you drove to a cousins house, somewhere Spencer couldn’t find you. Spencer broke your heart but you wanted this baby. You didn’t need him at all, you had your cousin. He didn’t deserve you and or your child.

He chose the job over your child. Spencer had been anything but a coward but he proved you wrong.

Spencer came home heartbroken and in tears. Noticing all your things were gone he couldn’t hold it together. All your books, the mug he gave you for your first anniversary, everything was gone. He blamed himself for you leaving.

He was ready to have the baby, he wanted to do everything with you. The job didn’t matter, he always wanted a family especially with you. He called you and your best friend and couldn’t get a hold of you. Spencer knew he fucked up big time.

Months later you were giving birth to your baby girl, Beatrix Marie. She was so healthy, she looked like a perfect mix of you and Spencer. You hated him even more now that she was here. Her perfect nose and eyes that are bound to be huge like Spencer’s. You can’t believe he didn’t want her, to raise her, and love her but he made his choice.

No matter how much you disliked Spencer Bea was every part of him. She was a curious baby and had such a goofy smile like him. Years later Bea was still such a sweetheart and it broke her heart when you moved her across the country.

“Mommy, why do we have to go to Virginia?” Bea said after as you both were watching Doctor Who, which was her favorite show even for a 6 year old.

You had to move to Virginia to finish school and your residency. The pay was decent so you worked at the bookstore which Bea loved. She would also get to see the Smithsonian which she ended up loving. The move was great, life was great, and Bea was amazing.

On her 7th birthday she asked to of course go to the Smithsonian Zoo and to her favorite book store to see her favorite Liberian. Bea was so smart, you didn’t want her to move up in school just yet, she enjoyed the grade she was in for right now. Spencer always lingered in the back of your head. You never knew if you were making the right decisions without him.

The Smithsonian was great, Bea squealed looking at the different animals. She had a love for books, sugar, and animals of course. The bookstore was your next stop, you didn’t even call to see if Ms. Willis, the old Liberian women that would read and watch Bea when you first got to Virginia was in today.

Bea ran off as soon as you hit the door. “Bea no running honey, and stop laughing so loud.” You said in a loud whisper. “Sorry mommy.” She giggled as she ran off. “Hey, Ty is Ms.Willis here? Bea wants her to read to her for her birthday.” Ty was the cashier and a sweetheart who would babysit Bea sometimes when you worked late.

“Yeah she’s in the back I’ll go get her!” Ty said walking to the back. You went to the section you knew Bea would be in. You faintly heard her laughing and smiled. That’s when you heard a man’s voice and your smile dropped. Thinking the worse you walked quickly to the voice and there he was.

Spencer Reid, with his legs folded reading to his daughter, your daughter. “Hey Bea, go up front with Ty and I’ll be right there.” You said looking at Bea and Spencer noticing how she looks more like him then ever before. “Butt mommy, he was just reading Charlotte’s Web from memory.” Bea whined, “Beatrix. Now” she quickly stood and walked off “Bye spencer” she said in a defeated tone.

“Bye Beatrix.” He smiled faintly, you knew how much this was hurting him. “Hey Y/N” he stood and was now standing in front of you. He was tall, he had a tab of weight on him but you liked it, with his perfect hair identical to Beatrixs.

“Hi Spencer. Don’t come anywhere near her again“ he cut you off “I’m so sorry I didn’t know what I was thinking. It was the biggest mistake of my life.… I’m sorry.” He said as you seen his eyes began to water.

“Spencer you downright told me you didn’t want her and now?” you had no words, you never thought you would see him again. You knew it was a possibility but you haven’t thought about it in so long.

“Beatrix Marie Reid, happy birthday to my favorite 7 year old!” Ms. Willis said loudly with a ballon and a book Bea been asking for. The look on Spencer’s face when he heard her full name. You still named her after him even after what he did.

“It’s her birthday today, Spencer I’m mad at you, I love you and you left me, you left us” You said quietly looking at him with tears forming in your eyes. Spencer wanted to be in Beas life, to read with her and take her to ice cream. He wanted you most of all, he was still madly in love with you.

“I’ll give you time to process but here’s my number and address so we can .. talk.” You passed him the note. You didn’t know why you gave it to him. Beatrix was a smart girl so she had questions about her dad.

“Why does Mariah have a dad but I don’t?” Bea asked while you both were eating breakfast. “You do have a dad baby .. you just don’t know him.” You wanted to be honest and open with Bea.

“Did he not want me?” She asked looking down with her hair falling in Her face. Spencer didn’t want Bea you knew that, you just hated seeing her like this.

“How about I’ll tell you the whole story when you’re a little older.” Pushing her brown curl behind her ear. She pushed her glasses off the bridge of her nose “I love you mommy.”

——-

Beatrix had an amazing birthday she enjoyed it so much. It was always time for her last birthday request which was any horror movie of her choosing. To no surprise she chose The nightmare before Christmas her absolute favorite movie.

Bea had just showered and but on her pjs waiting on the couch for the popcorn. As your putting the popcorn in the bowl the doorbell rang. “I’ll get it,” Bea hopped up fast knowing she wasn’t allowed to open the door. Making an exception this time cause her best friend was supposed to be coming over also.

She swung it open with you behind her quickly, “Spencer! How do you know where we live? Do you think you can read to me? After the movie please.” Bea rambled so fast you could barley understand.

“Of course only if it’s okay with your mom.” He smiled at her, even missing 7 years of her life he still looked at her with a love you never seen. “I’ll think about it B, go watch the movie.” Kissing her head and handing her the popcorn.

You and Spencer walked to the kitchen watching Bea from the island. The love was still there between you and Spencer.

“I won’t keep her away from you. She deserves to know you but you have to tell her why you left.” You said looking him dead in his eye.

“Okay. Let me explain to you wh—“ you interrupted “Spencer this is about you and Bea not you and me. You explain to her why you left. Now come on her favorite movie is on.” You said walking towards Bea as Spencer trailed behind.

They both talked through the entire movie. Bea asking every question and Spencer there with an answer. Bea laughed and laughed so much with him. 45 minutes later Beatrix was sleep. You quietly picked her up to walk her to her room with Spencer trailing behind.

You laid her down and tucked her in giving her one kiss on the forehead. Spencer watched the entire thing in awe of how amazing you were with her. He always knew you’d be the perfect mother.

As you walked out and turned out the light Bea whispered “Can spencer still read to me mommy?” In her sleepy voice. “Maybe next time B, Goodnight” you said walking out with Spencer in front of you.

Once you were in the living room the room fell silent. You both pick up the tv room and headed to the kitchen. “I want Beatrix to have the most normal upbringing I can give her.” You started catching his attention, “if you tell her there’s no backing down. You will not come in her life and leave her.” You said in a stern tone.

“I will never leave her or you again.” Spencer said knowing he meant it, he was ready for everything fatherhood had to offer.

[shamelesstrekkie13]

Jason Gideon x Reader (fight + smut)

Warnings: smut, +18, a bit of cursing

Summary: Basically Jason says something hurtful to the Reader, and has to beg for her forgiveness.

It’s not my best work but it won’t get any better, so here it is. Constructive criticism always welcome!

The gif isn’t mine!

His head was pounding. The last case had certainly been rough. Child cases were always rough. And so he was in his office, thinking about said case, going over it, again and again. Sure, it had been a happy ending, but a lot of mistakes were made.

Half an hour later, his head felt like it was about to explode. The door to his office opened, and an agent came in. He didn’t even bother looking up before asking a “What?!” quite rudely.

“Love, are you okay? I know child cases are rough, but you look like you need a pick me up.”

Only when he heard her voice did he look up. She was looking stunningly gorgeous, as always. He looked at her for half a second before saying,

“I’m fine, you can go home.”

She very clearly frowned at that. It didn’t make much sense, because he had never treated her that way, nor did he ever tell her to go home without him. He had always been so sweet and touchy with her. To the point that some might call him ‘clingy’, even though she would never. It was their way of loving each other. Their love language was and still is physical touch. She loved him for that.

So she came closer to him, and touched his arm affectionately.

“Are you sure? I can stay if you’d like.” She smiled, with a smile that could light up the whole town. But he didn’t see it, because he wasn’t looking at her.

He pulled away, and for the first time in all the years they had known each other he snapped at her.

“Will you just go home? I need to be alone, and you’re not helping.” She was surprised, to say the least. A little bit offended too, though she couldn’t hold it over his head. Everyone needed some alone time every now and then. That didn’t make the whole situation any less weird.

He usually loved her touch, and now he looked disgusted by it. The way he had pulled away from her, as if her touch was capable of killing him, made no sense to her.

“What’s going on with you? You’re never like this!”

Normally she wouldn’t have gone against his wishes, because as a reasonable and logical person, she could see that needing time alone was a perfectly normal thing. But it was his reaction at her that made her stay. She didn’t want to leave the conversation like that, because then, when she got home, she would definitely overthink this whole thing.

He stood up and hit the table hard, so fast that if she had blinked she would’ve missed it.

“I told you that I need to be alone! God, why are you so fucking clingy?”

And just like that, she felt a thousand new holes in her heart appear. Sure, she had been told before that she was a little too touchy, but he was the only person that loved her being touchy. He was the only one that reciprocated her touch equally. Without him, what did she have in this world?

She took a step back, in shock.

Realising what he had said, he tried to get to her. But she kept her distance.

“Wow. I expected that from a lot of people, but not from you. Never from you.”

He tried to get to her again when he saw her deep, beautiful, full of life eyes filled with tears. He never had wanted to hurt her. She was his everything. He was nothing without her.

And now, his companion, his best friend, his partner, the love of his life was looking at him like he had shattered her heart. And he had.

He stayed still, not wanting her to walk further away.

“I didn’t mean it. I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt you.” He tried to get her to see how much he meant those words. But she didn’t care.

“Yes, you did. Otherwise you wouldn’t have said that to begin with.” Her voice clearly trembled as she turned around and went for the door.

He got to her first, and grabbed her wrist.

“I promise you I didn’t mean it. Please.” She didn’t know what he was begging for. She just knew that she had to get out of there.

And in her heartbroken state, she couldn’t see how terrified he was of her going away.

“Please, let me go.” She said. He couldn’t. Even if he could, he wouldn’t. He kept his grip on her firm, and when he spoke his voice was trembling.

“I can’t. You’re my everything. I won’t make it out here without you.”

She shook her head. In her mind, if that were true, then he would’ve never put them both in this position to begin with. She also didn’t catch the phrasing when he said he ‘won’t’ make it out. He meant that he had no intention whatsoever of making it out without her. He wouldn’t even try.

He took her face in his hands and kissed her, trying to make her remember. Remember how much they loved each other, and how much they needed each other. At least he did. He wiped her tears with his thumb, hating himself for being the cause of her distress and making her think that he didn’t love every single piece of her.

She tried to free herself, before the kiss changed her mind, but his grip was ironclad on her. When he saw that his words didn’t have any effect on her, he fell on his knees. At this point he was desperate. He could feel her slipping away through his fingers, and he was desperate to stop her from leaving.

“Jason. Let me go. I need to be alone.” She was being a little bit petty, because she didn’t say that because she truly needed to be alone, she said it because he had used that excuse on her, right before this mess.

It had the desired effect. He froze, and he saw no choice but to let her go. He wouldn’t force her to be close to him if she didn’t want to.

And so he let her go. In two big strides she was already gone. And he felt more alone than he had ever felt in his whole life.

He knew that he was alone from now on. She finally saw who he was, how old he was, and the fact that as gorgeous, as funny, as smart as she was, she could have whoever she wanted. And he knew that she realised that she didn’t have to settle with him. He knew that it was true, she deserved someone her age, someone just as attractive, just as funny as her. And he knew that wasn’t him.

He wiped the tears that he didn’t know he had streaming down his cheeks. He got up and left the office. He knew that she had all the right in the world to be alone, so he reserved a room at the closest hotel to the Bureau's offices.

He didn’t know that, even as disappointed as she was, being a hopeless romantic, she wanted him to come after her, to throw pebbles at her window screaming “I’m in love with you”. She wanted him at the other side of her door, pledging his undying love for her.

Three full days had gone by without the couple contacting each other. Neither of them slept either nights. He was going crazy. Only now did he realise how truly touch starved he was, and how much he missed her.

After the initial wave of raging emotions had passed, she could think clearly again. She thought about calling him, about trying to work things out. After all, anyone could have a bad day, and she hadn’t exactly listened to him when he had asked her to leave him alone for a while.

The problem is that she felt personally attacked when he had called her ‘clingy’. She was told before that she was too clingy, and that caused her to retreat into herself. She became distant and pushed everyone away for fear of being ‘too much’. It had been a problem since her early teenage years. She didn’t know if it was the bad mood talking or if that was actually what he felt, what he had been feeling for all the time they were together.

After a while she came to the conclusion that that wasn’t possible. She remembered things that she couldn’t remember when she was in front of him. He had initiated touch with her several times. Anytime she touched him he always leaned against her. He loved hugging her, he loved kissing her. He treated her like a queen, and she definitely treated him like a king. It was the treatment he deserved. When they had sex, it was the most magical thing ever, and she knew for a fact that it was the same for him. He had never made any excuses to avoid touching her or to avoid her touch.

That was when the guilt began to appear. She had been most certainly harsh with him. She didn’t take his need for some time alone seriously, and that led to him snapping at her. Which was wrong, but she understood. Mistakes happen. It wasn’t worth throwing away their once in a lifetime relationship. She thought of calling him, but then told herself that something like this should be told in person.

The next morning, when she arrived at the office, he was already there, on his desk. She could see him through the blinds. He looked stunning, but he also looked tired. Very tired.

He had been trying to work for the past two hours, without any success. He couldn’t stop thinking about her, her smile, her sarcastic remarks, her beauty.

Suddenly, the door opened, and she appeared. For a heartbeat he thought that he might’ve been hallucinating. But she was truly there.

He didn’t dare to speak. If they had been married, he was certain she would have been serving the divorce papers by now.

“I think we need to talk,” she said. “Is this a good moment?”

He definitely took notice of the fact that she never had asked that question before. Because he had made it very clear that ‘always’ was the answer for her. And he hated himself for making her think that she had to ask that question.

“Always. It’s always a good moment for you.” He didn’t dare to move, just in case he frightened her, so she was the one that came closer, and sat down on one of the chairs in front of his desk.

“I’m aware that I should’ve respected your desire to be alone, but that doesn’t excuse what you said,” she said. She waited for his reaction, because after that fight she wasn’t sure how he would react.

“You’re right. Even if I wanted to be alone, I never should’ve treated you that way. You deserve better,” he paused, and then realised that most men said that as a way of breaking up, so he continued, “I’m not saying this to break up. I know you deserve better, but I’m too selfish to let you go.” He was surprised to see her smile at that.

“I don’t think this fight is worth throwing our relationship away. I understand that people make mistakes. And I do believe in second chances.” He closed his eyes, while relief overwhelmed him. “I don’t do third chances, though. I admit I’m at fault too, but if you ever use my insecurities against me again I will kick you out of my life.”

He stood up. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

“I didn’t use your insecurities against you.” She frowned, but before she could say anything, he continued talking. “I said something terrible, but I didn’t say it with your insecurities in mind. I’m not trying to excuse myself, I hate myself for hurting the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I just wanted you to know, I would never do that.”

She understood what he meant. He lashed out at her, but he didn’t call her ‘clingy’ with her insecurity in mind. That made things only a little less worse. And his grovelling was making her feel a little bit better.

She stood up too, walked around the desk until she was right in front of him.

“Again, I know this was partly my fault. But if you ever say anything like that again… I don’t think I’ll be able to continue the relationship.” She wanted to make him understand that while she did admit that she shouldn’t have pressured him, which is what caused him to snap. But he shouldn’t have said the things he said. Ever. And that meant that this was his last chance.

“I thought you wouldn’t want to continue the relationship now, given what that insult means to you…” She was close enough to him that he could kiss her and hug her, but he didn’t know how she would take that. “I’m really glad that you’re able to forgive me, though.”

She was really close to him. And he wanted to kiss her, more than anything he had ever wanted. She was smiling at him, and he thought to himself that he couldn’t wait any longer, and if she had forgiven him then she would probably let him kiss her.

So he did. He leaned towards her and their lips met. It was a sweet, slow kiss. Until she decided she wanted more. She deepened the kiss and suddenly they were straight up making out. Their tongues met, and he relished on her flavour. He couldn’t resist and pushed her gently towards his desk, and laid her down. Kissing her stomach, he unbuttoned her pants and took them off. The door wasn’t even locked, but neither of them wanted to lock it. It made everything more exciting.

He kissed her thighs, licked and even bit them, while she whimpered at his touch, which made him smile. He took his time before kissing her labia, and then sucked it. She started to moan loudly, and so he whispered against her vagina, saying “be quiet, we can’t let everyone know what we’re doing in here.” His whisper turned her even more on than she already was. She felt his breath on her vagina, and she was hot everywhere. She needed his touch everywhere.

By the time he was penetrating her, she was a complete mess. A gorgeous mess in his eyes, but still a mess. The mess that he wanted. And he would never let her go.

She felt just as good as their first time together. People say that after the honeymoon phase of the relationship is over, then everything changes, including sex. That had never happened to them. And he loved that. He loved that she screamed his name just as loud as she did their first time. He loved that he still got red scratches on his back due to her passion.

The moment he penetrated her, her hands went straight to his back, to get ahold of him, while at the same time scratching him. Her nails trailed from up to down his back, with a lot of strength, leaving marks behind.

The way he was filling her up meant that she would orgasm very soon. Especially because he knew what he was doing. He was kissing her neck, sucking and licking, while one of his hands was gripping her thigh with an iron grip, and his other hand was on her clit, which he found effortlessly. Massaging her, his calloused hands on her clit were driving her insane.

In those 20 minutes she came several times, and she came hard. It was mind blowing, like it always was with him.

[street-smarts00]

Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

Drabble: Did he have passion?

The team is at Gideons cabin after his murder. Takes place in season 10 episode “Nelson’s Sparrow”

authors note: I haven’t written anything in years and had some motivation while watching criminal minds.

She walked outside the house onto the porch and place her hands in her pockets to hide them from the chill in the air. Spencer was standing outside looking into the trees. While she didn’t join the BAU until a few years after Gideons retirement, she knew he meant the world to Spencer. She knew he was his mentor and how close they were. She knew that when he left, the only goodbye he gave to the team, was a letter addressed to Spencer.

Every so often Spencer would talk about Gideon. Either recounting memories of his chess skills or previous cases he worked on. She was aware of his impact and achievements while working for the bureau, but she never met him.

She saw him wipe his face with his hands. For while she didn’t say anything to him. She was never one with words at a time like this, but after some thinking she found some, or more so someone else’s words.

“Hey Spence,” she calmly greeted when she walked up to him. He turned to look at her and he noticed she was also observing the birds in the trees as he just was.

A quiet “hi” escaped his lips. After a lingering moment he looked back at the woods.

“Do you remember that movie I showed you? Serendipity?” She asked.

His eyebrows furrowed and thoughts brought back to the present moment at her random question. “Of course,” he answered.

Of course he remembered watching that movie, and of course he remembers all the words said in it, but she recited it to him anyway.

“Towards the end of the movie, Jonathan’s best friend who writes obituaries for the times, he says “the Greeks didn't write obituaries. They only asked one question after a man died, Did he have passion?"

“Actually that most likely wasn’t true. Passion while a highly valued aspect of life in ancient Greece, it is unknown . . . “

“Spencer,” she interrupted once again in a calming tone.

He abruptly stopped his tangent and turned his face to her. He was met with her eyes starring back at him. “While I adore your tangents, humor me.” She turned her whole body to face him giving him her whole undivided attention. “Did Jason Gideon have passion?”

Spencer let the question linger in his mind. At the sound of chirping and shaking of leaves and branches he thought of birds. Gideon had a passion for birds. He possessed pictures and paintings of them. Gideon had a passion for chess. Spencer had frequently played with him.

He thought of the book he had just stuffed in his pocket, Gideons book and a passage he had just recently recited. Gideon had a passion for Sarah. She was very important to him and held a very special place in his heart.

His thoughts wandered to the other people in the book. Victims that Gideon saved from previous cases. Gideon had passion for his job. A passion for protecting and saving those who had been hurt by others. To save and protect life. Save someone’s child, parent, sibling, best friend, neighbor, coworker, lover.

Spencer took a deep shaky breath as a tear rolled down his cheek. She reached her hand up to cup his face and wiped her thumb across his cheek where his tears had fallen. He gently grabbed onto her wrist that was held up

He quietly spoke with a small crack in his voice.

“He did.”

[supercriminalbean]

Born this way

Spencer Reid x Trans male Reader.

Summary: Reid wants to introduce his trans boyfriend to the team, but first he has to deal with some family issues first.

Words: 21.8k

Warning: Transphobia. Homophobia. Swearing. Crying. Fluff. A Lot of Angst. Depression. Many mental breaks down. Panic attacks. Transphobe Gideon mentioned. Abusive family. Drug addiction mentioned. Alcohol consumed. If I have missed anything let me know. 

A/N: This one-shot means a lot to me by the way. But I’m sorry because this gets deep at points, yes I may have started projecting at certain points my bad. Reader is Gideon's son, Rossi Godson. There are a lot of cute Uncle Rossi moments in this. I love it. (I have many daddy issues he fixes them) I might write a part two where Jason and the reader fix their relationship. Also flashbacks of how Reader grew up and how Rossi and Aaron became protective of him. But that won’t be for awhile if I do, let me know If you would like that though. Thank you for your time.

1989

“No, I wanna dress like a Prince, don't wanna be a Princess” You whine as he holds up the brand new Cinderella dress he has just bought you.

“You want to be a prince” He sighs softly. He hates seeing you look so hurt at the sight of the new dress, he sets it back down. “Why do you want to be a prince huh, you just want to copy your older brother?” He already knew that wasn’t the real answer but he needed to know how you really feel, without him profiling you. 

“Because I’m a boy, and boys are meant to be Prince's not Princess” You stubbornly cross your arms looking up at him. A small mad looking smile on your face, one that looks crazily similar to your fathers.

“You're a boy huh, so now there's two little Gideon boys running around, Lord help us” He chuckles softly watching as your face lights up.

“I'm gonna be a better brother than my brother” You laugh squeaky, excited by his reaction. Your little child mind is already used to abuse and bullying, when expressing how you feel about your gender. So seeing how happy your uncle is for you, just makes your little heart flutter with happiness. 

“Have you told your dad yet?” He asks as he sits down on the couch beside you, trying his hardest to keep his smile on his face. He already knows how your parents feel about these types of ‘situations’.

“I told him the other day, he told me I’ll always be his daughter, I don’t understand why he won’t listen to me, him and mummy don’t get it” You sigh heavily leaning your head on his arm, you know your uncle will always listen to you. 

“I’ll talk to them Tesoro, we will get them to listen to you” He smiles sadly, knowing this is going to be a difficult road for you. “In the meantime, shall I go find your brother's old Prince’s costume” He looks down at you, seeing a big grin spreading across your face as you jump back up.

“Yessss, I'm going to be the best Prince Charming”

“Well Prince Charming, one day you are going to find your own Princess” He smiles as he gets up.

“Ew no way girls have cooties, I'm going to marry another Prince, Uncle Dave” You screw your face up at him which makes Rossi chuckle as he walks out. 

Growing up.

While growing up your dad seemed to always be working and was never around while you and your older brother grew up. You never had a good relationship with him or your mum, they never respect your pronouns or your chosen name. Your dad only started coming around to your gender identity once you moved out and started cutting him and your mum out of your life at age 18, (9 years ago.) But due to everything that happened when you were growing up, the relationship never healed between you and your parents. You haven't spoken to them in over 4 years now. You and your brother aren’t close but still talk occasionally, Stephen was always by your side growing up. He tried to be the overprotective brother you need in your life growing up.

Your Uncle Dave tried his best to stay in your life, but after he finished working with your Dad it became difficult. Their relationship was strained due to the fact he never liked the way your parents treated you. He always sent you postcards and letters whenever he went on his trips and even copies of his books. You were so proud of him when he became an author, your dad said he was full of himself. But you didn’t care, he was your Uncle and you told everyone about his books. You were barely able to catch up with him due to your parents but when you did he always bought you gifts, and even helped you with things that helped ease your gender and body dysmorphia. When you turn 20 he even gave you enough money to get top surgery. You remember crying in his arms and telling him how you wish he was your dad instead of Jason. 

When Dave got back into the FBI, 5 years ago. You had gotten angry with him, and your relationships with him started becoming strained. You were slowly losing touch but you knew deep down that the fatherly love he has for you could never die. 

2012.

You had been dating Spencer Reid for five months now, and the last five months had been amazing. It had taken a while to get used to his work schedule but it just made you value the time you spent with him more. Spencer treats you like a prince, when he spends time with you he makes sure he is focusing on you. He always tries to not bring work with him on dates, the occasional times when he would get called away he always made sure to make it for it. He would buy you coffees and books, then turn up at your workplace to surprise you when he gets home early from a case. Spencer loves surprising you, seeing the way your face lights up when he would just walk into your job.  

You always tell Spencer that he spoils you too much, but he disagrees. He doesnt think he spoils you enough. He knows you deserve to be showered with more gifts and when he's with you, he wants to show you how much he cares about everything you have to say. He loves hearing you rambling about your days, he knows you never got that type of attention beforehand. It breaks his heart when you apologise for talking too much, especially about the things you love. He understands what it can feel like when people say talking too much is a bad thing, but that is something he strongly disagrees with. The joy and excitement he feels when you talk, warms him up like nothing ever has before.

~~~

Spencer Reid loves being your Boyfriend because of how sweet and adorable you are with him, making sure he always knows how much you care for him. You might not be the type of guy to send texts, telling him how much you love and miss him when he's away. Instead you send him texts asking him if he has eaten yet, asking him how much sleep he has had that day. Telling him off gently, if you don’t get the response you like, which results in him smiling and blushing, specially when you praise him for doing his best during tough cases. He remembers the time the team had finally figured out he was dating, only due to the fact he wouldn't stop smiling at one of your texts.

Flashback.

The team had been away on a case for four days and they were close to finding the identity of the unsub, and tracking down the whereabouts of him. Currently Hotch and Rossi were on their way back from the morgue, stopping to get dinner on the way back. JJ, Emily, and Morgan were sitting at the table discussing the profile and victimaliz. All of them glance over at Reid occasionally, who's standing in front of the map, but he is seemingly more interested in his phone. Spencer's face is covered in the biggest grin the three profilers have ever seen from him. His eyes having this different sparkle in them, as he types away quickly. Emily smirks at the other two, raising her eyebrow, the other two give her the knowing look. Everyone has noticed how happy Reid had been the last few weeks, making everyone talk in between themself. They had all come to the conclusion that he was indeed dating. Morgan and Emily were certain it was a girl he was talking to, but JJ and Garcia had disagree they were pretty sure he was hiding the fact it was a boy. Hotch and Rossi weren’t getting into that part of the conversation, just shaking their heads at the childish argument their team were having. Reid had come out years ago about being bisexual, but no one had ever met any of his dates before. He liked keeping that part of himself private until he was sure it was serious.

~~~

“So pretty boy, who's got you smiling like that?” Morgan smirks, calling out to him, pulling Reid away from his thoughts. Blushing as he looks up at the three profilers who are spread around the table, all gawking at him.

“Shut it Morgan” Reid clears his throat awkwardly, shoving his phone into his pocket.

“Aw come on Reid that's not polite” Emily teases him, her elbows resting on the table, her chin resting in her hands lending towards the poor boy. “You should apologise by telling us why you were smiling at your phone like that” Emily smirks as Morgan and JJ snigger quietly. Reid cheeks burn lightly as he sits back down, allowing himself to smile at the thought of telling his friends all about you. 

“Wait wait, hold up, look at that little smile on his face” Morgan teases him, leaning over pinching his cheeks quickly. Only to get swatted away.

“You normally tell us to back off Spence, this person must be special huh?” JJ smiles softly at Reid, as Morgan sits back at his seat chuckling as Reid nods at her smiling softly. 

~~~

Hotch and Rossi arrive, with Garcia on the phone. Making the team put their conversation on hold and back onto the case. Garcia gives them more information on their victims and could be unsub. Reid could feel his phone vibrating, holding back a small smile knowing that it's you. Once Garcia has ended the phone call, the team finally starts getting into their dinner, giving Reid the chance to check the texts you had sent him. It took all his strength not to let out a small chuckle.

Bean:  You better have had you dinner by now Spency, cos Bubbles sure is digging in.

The photo you had sent finally loading on his phone. It was you snuggled up on the couch, under your comfort blanket trying to eat your favourite takeaway, with your cat trying to steal it from the container. 

~~~

Spencer couldn't stop the small laugh that escaped the laugh that leaves his lips, staring at the photo. He couldn’t believe how much joy he could feel, from just seeing a small glimpse of you on his phone. Deciding he would also send a photo back of himself with his dinner, picking up his food quietly, not paying attention to the rest of the team. If Reid was paying attention he would have noticed how quiet the room has gotten after his small laugh, how everyone kept giving each other the look. How Morgan has now gotten up and is making his way over to stand behind Reid, crouching down so he can look at his phone thinking he can go without being noticed. The team having to suppress their laughter watching Morgan trying to be sneaky, the big grin across his face quickly fades to an ‘Oh shit I’ve been caught’ look. When he realises Reid's front camera is open, and that he's just photobombed Reids selfie.  

“Morgan you ruined my photo” Reid groans, putting his phone down, turning around to glare at the man, while the team laughs at them. Morgan chuckles awkwardly, giving him his best older brother face. 

“Hey it's not my fault, if you would just tell us who's got you being so secretive, I wouldn’t need to be looking over your shoulder” Morgan smirks as he sits down beside him, playfully pretending to pick up Reid's phone. Reid quickly swats his hand away, moving his phone away.

“Can’t me and my boyfriend have some privacy around here” Reid smirks softly. Unlocking his phone again, sending you the photo of him and Morgan to you. 

~~~

“Ha, you two owe me and Garcia drinks next night out” JJ cheers happily. Smirking at Emily as she groans. 

“Wait, you guys bet on me being in a relationship?” Reid asks looking up, giving them a pointed look.

“Oh no it was clear you were in a relationship” Hotch smirks, shaking his head.

“They betted on whether or not it was with a girl or a guy” Rossi adds in, chuckling. 

“Speaking about bets, how long have you two been dating for?” Morgan asks, wiggling his eyebrows at the kid who blushes lightly. 

“Can you guys stop betting on my lovelife please, and officially we’ve been dating 12 weeks and 2 days” 

“Atta boy, that means I win” Rossi raises his drink up at Reid, making the team break out in laughter once more.

“So Spence, when do we get to meet this mystery boy of yours?” JJ asks, smiling at him, even if he's been trying to hide it. She hasn’t seen him this happy in years, and wants to meet and check out whoever this new person is in her best friend's life.  

“Oh uh I don’t know maybe in a few weeks” Reid shrugs “It's still all new, but trust me when you guys meet him, you will all love him, he's amazing” A smile creeps across his face, one that's full of love and hope. One the team hasn't seen him wear before, they can’t wait to watch Reid on the road of love. 

 End flashback.

You’re laying on the couch reading one of David Rossi books, it’s one of your comfort books when you’re having a bad day. You keep glancing at the clock, time seems to be passing by slowly tonight, just waiting for your boyfriend to turn up. Getting tired of waiting, you pick up your phone, rereading the last text saying he had land and he would be leaving the office in 15. That was 40 minutes ago, would you seem too clingy if you rang him, asking where he was? You probably would, but seeing as you haven't seen him in almost a week you didn’t really care anymore. Pressing the call button beside his name, moving the phone beside your ear, waiting for him to answer. 

“Hello this is Dr Reid” His voice rings out, sounding so professional. But you could just tell how exhausted he is, not even looking at the caller ID.

“Well hello Dr Reid, mm you almost sound like a professional, Amore” You tease him softly, hearing his soft laugh escape him.

“Hey (Y/n), I'm sorry I'm running a little behind with this paperwork, If Morgan didn’t keep distracting me I would be done by now” He sighs dramatically, hearing some voices in the background, and what sounds like some struggling. Laughing at the childish behaviour, you could just imagine what was happening. That being your boyfriend and his best friend joking with each other again. Spencer has told you many, many stories of their pranking wars before, and you could only feel sorry for their team. 

“Hey no no no Morgan, get off me Derek get off” Spencer grunt out at the man, trying to shove him away. But he's too late as Morgan manages to snatch the phone out of his hand and rushes away from the boy. 

~~~

“So this must be Spencer's boyfriend, (Y/n) right” Derek's cheekily voice breaks through the phone as you laugh, guessing what has just happened. 

“That's me, Derek right, did you steal my boyfriend's phone just to talk to me?” You laugh, albe to put his voice to his face. Remembering the photo Spencer sent you a couple months ago that Derek had accidentally photobombed.

“Oh that I did, I need to know who keeps distracting and making my pretty boy blush all the time” Derek chuckles softly, and you could hear Spence protesting in the background.

“Aw I make him blush, guess I'm just that special” Laughing quietly, shaking your head, “I guess I just have the effect on men, just wait until you meet me in person Derek”

“Ohh that I can not wait to do baby, trust me Reid can not shut up about you we all are dying to meet you so we better be meeting you soon or Garcia is going to die from not being able to gossip away with you” Derek explains dramatically, you thought. 

“Well I'm sure I can meet you all soon, Just once I can get our schedules all organised for once” You promise him, smiling. Enjoying the idea of meeting the team that your boyfriend never seems to be able to stop talking about. 

“Okay, Finally” Derek cheers happily, as you hear a few Reid nosies, before Morgan yells a quick bye.

“Im back” Reid huffs laughing, earning a soft chuckle from you.

“So that was Derek Morgan huh?” 

“Oh that it was, looking if it's too soon, we don’t need to worry about all this” Spencer's words start rushing and mumbling together, like they do when he gets too nervous. Quick to calm his nerves down, you cut him off.

“Spence, I would love to meet your team one day soon, but right now I just miss you, when are you leaving, because I really want cuddles and so we can talk about our week and just relax” You smile slightly, hearing his breathing relax. Knowing his shoulder would have just rolled backwards in the same motions.

“I’m putting my files away right now then I’m on my way to your place, I’ll be there in 15” Spencer tries to relax from your words, but something in your tone just doesn't sit right with him. He still doesn’t know why you rang him, normally you would just wait for him to turn up even an hour late.“Hey so why did you ring before, is everything alright?”

“Yeah I'm fine bambino, I’ll see you soon, I love you” Your voice comes off trying to sound strong, forcefully.

“Okay, I love you too (Y/n)” A chorus of Awws and cheers ring through the phone before Spencer hangs up.

~~~

You were in the Kitchen cleaning the bench when you heard the door open, hearing Spencer footsteps and his quiet voice talking to the cat. Who ran straight over to him, meowing happily to see her second favourite human. 

“Hey (Y/N), where are you?” Spencer calls out, quickly giving Bubbles a small pat. His smile fading as his eyes scan across the living room, hearing you call back from the kitchen. He couldn’t help but profile the room, even if he didn’t do it as a job it would be hard to miss that something was wrong. One of your comfort movies is playing, the one you watch on repeat when you're feeling low and anxious. You never like leaving your dishes or trash around, worried it would attract mice and rats. But today, there are empty cans of soda and energy drinks and packets of snacks, shoved behind the couch. Your weighted blankets laid careless on the ground, covered in crumbles. Something you hate, due to the fact it normally makes you feel even more dirty and itchy. Otherwise the room looks spotless like you had done a deep clean of the whole room the day early. Placing his bag down on the couch, as he makes his way over to the kitchen, he can't help but notice how the house looks and smells completely cleaned. As if you have deep clean every surface you could, which he knows you like to do when you're feeling powerless. 

~~~

You're standing in front of the fridge, staring absently into it, not even noticing Spencer approaching. You're looking exhausted, with dark bags underneath your eyes. Your face is paler than normal, your body looking sluggish. Letting out a soft irritated sigh, as you close the fridge with a bit more force than you meant to. 

“Hey Beanie” Spencer speaks your nickname softly. He walks over slowly, watching you worried. You flinch at the noise, flinging around to look at where those words came from. 

“Oh hey, um sorry, I must have been distracted” You smile weakly, turning around to give him a welcome home hug. That he happily embraces, wrapping his arms around you. Resting his head on your shoulder, as you hide your head in his chest. His eyes roam around the kitchen seeing a large pile of dishes just been recently washed, still drying. He could feel how tired your body is in his arms, the way your breathing is more deep and controlled. Almost as if you're focusing on matching your breathing to his. Something you do when your anxiety plays up in public, or when you’re having trouble trying to sleep. 

~~~

When you slowly pull away from his warm arms, looking up at him. His concerned eyes staring down into yours, his hand gently cups your check.

“Are you alright, love?” His voice stays soft, not wanting to overwhelm you.

“Im fine, you're the one who just came back from a week long case” You brush off his question, breaking eye contact with him as you lie. You're not ready to tell him how you're feeling inside, scared you would fall apart right there in his arms. It wouldn’t be the first time he would see you cry, but that doesn’t mean you like letting your boyfriend watch you break apart. 

“Don’t do that” He sighs, as you step back refusing to look at him. “Don’t avoid the question, you now I can tell something isn’t right, I'm here when your ready to tell me about it” 

Nodding in response, still refusing to look at him again. “I know” Taking a deep breath, slowly glancing back at him, taking him in properly this time. His eyes have small bags underneath, the clothing he's wearing have small marks and stains on the tops. Knowing his clothes usually get dirty when he's been rushing to finish cases. Taking in his body langues seeing how stress and tired he looks. Starting to feel guilty for adding to his pile of stress, hating how you can’t just handle your own emotions and personal issues without him noticing. 

~~~

“Spence, why don’t you go have a shower and I’ll make us some dinner, then we can watch some tv” You smile weakly at him, he watches you carefully as he thinks about it.

“You don’t need to cook, it's getting late you know”

“I know, but you probably have been living off takeaways all week”

“And one more day won’t kill me” He smirks lightly, making you laugh quietly.

“You know what, I think I have Pizza in the freezer, think that will do?” You smirk, shaking your head lightly, as you walk over opening the freezer door. Spencer walks over wrapping his arms around your waist. Resting his head on your shoulder hiding his face in the crock of your neck.  

“Frozen pizza and cuddles sounds perfect to me” He exhales, kissing your neck gently. You smile softly, relaxing into his touch. 

“Good, now go shower” 

~~~

You're laying on the couch, the food waiting on the table beside you as you scroll through the tv channel, looking for something new to watch. Getting lost in the cooking show that is playing, patting Bubbles who's happily snuggled down in your lap. Spencer walks out seeing you cuddled up on the couch smiling a little, the worry for you still hasn't eased up. 

“Hey, what are you watching?” He calls out quietly so as to not startle you, walking over to the couch. Settling down beside you, giving Bubbles a few pats when she meows for attention, again. 

“Some cooking show, they are meant to be making pasta but they are doing it all wrong” You sigh, shaking your head at the contents on the television. “Do they not know your not suppose to burn the onions before you add them to the dish, also the way they are handling the pasta is horrible they need to be delicate with it, not ruthless like come on” Huffing lightly, as you move yourself to cuddle into Spencer shoulder, being carefully to not disturb Bubbles to much. Leaning into his touch as he wraps his arm around your shoulders, relaxing slowly into his touch. The heat from the shower rationing off his body, his light chuckle being the exact combination you need for your body to be able to relax and know that you're safe. 

“Someone knows their pasta” He smirks softly, feeling a bit more confident feeling you relax in his arms. 

“Oh I do, I was taught from a young age all the correct things to do if you want to make the perfect pasta, If you don’t feel like doing it right then stay out of the kitchen I use to be told” Laughing lightly, reaching over to grab the plate of pizza seating beside you. “I told him I would just order pizza instead” 

“So you have always been sassy since a young age?” Spence's laugh is light as air and full of joy and sweetness. Reaching for a slice of the pizza watching you as he eats.

“Oh definitely, I blame my Uncle. He may have taught me how to make amazing pasta but that means he also taught me his Italian sarcasm as well” Your laughter starts dying off after you mention your Uncle. Glancing down quickly trying to avoid Spencer stares as you grab a piece of pizza. Starting to eat and turn back to the tv, letting the conversation drop out. 

~~~

You keep trying to get back into the show but you can’t seem to focus, your mind keeps wandering back to your family. The text message you had received the other day having just hurt you more than you really think it would. The one guy who was suppose to still be by your side, was once again choosing your parents over you. Fuck the pain in your chest feeling just like it had when you were in high school. Sniffling quietly, not even noticing the tears sliding down your cheeks as you will yourself to pay more attention to the people on the television. Spencer glances down at you, feeling you move closer into his side. His face dropping instantly as he notices the tears sliding down your face. The hopeless look in your eyes going straight to his heart. His hand slides across your shoulder, cupping your face gently wiping away at the tears softly. 

“Love, what's wrong?” He whispers lovingly, his hand staying firmly on your face as you look up at him.

“N nothing bambino, it's the Tv show, it's just so sad” You laugh fakely knowing how bad the lie is, sighing as you shrug your shoulders. 

“That's crap, I know you love pasta, but crying because they add the wrong cheese to the dishes” Spencer half laughs giving you a look, pulling his hand away, as you pull away from him, sitting up straightly. Bubbles meows angrily as she jumps off your lap, running away, Spencer leans over, placing the empty dinner plate and turning the T.V off with the remote. 

~~~

“That's it talk to me” Spencer turns to face you properly, watching you closely, picking up on your body langues. The way it tenses as you straighten up more, turning to look at him, your eyes spinning with emotions. Crossing your legs underneath you, you're trying everything you can to try and seem smaller.

“It's just been a hard week, works been so busy this week, all the shipment for the bookshop is behind and we are so under staff at the moment, it's just getting to me I guess” You exhale deeply, avoiding his stare, instead you focus on the small scratch on the wall behind him. “Also I ran into someone the other day, which brought up some unwelcome memories from years ago I guess, I know I should just get over it because it wasn’t even that big of a deal but somehow they just won’t leave my brain alone” Letting out an mentally exhausted breath, feeling the walls you built up slowly come down. Your hands playing with each other in your lap, helping with your anxiety. “I thought I worked through my issues. I told myself once I was done with them I would never think of them again, but just seeing him again it” Your voice trails off slowly as it begins to waver with sadness and anger, blinking back a few tears that start to appear. Your eyes flick over to Spencers as you feel his hand gently take yours in his. His eyes send a warm, soft feeling into your heart, making you feel safe. His hazel eyes having always had that effect on you since the moment you met him. Smiling softly as you feel the love and affect he can give you with no words. Actions always meant more to you than words ever did. 

“Love, did you really work through your trauma or did you just bury it away and pretend it never existed?” He kept his voice soft and careful of the way he worded it. Studying you closer, watching as the realisation and devastation hits, the light in your eyes slowly disappears.

“Your right, I thought hiding from my problems would fix it” Taking a deep breath as you feel a sharp pain hitting your chest, suddenly a painfully wrenching cry pushes its way out of you. With such a powerful force that shoves you forward, almost off the couch. Spencer moves swiftly, wrapping you up in his arms before you could fall. 

~~~

“I'm sorry I’m so sorry, I shouldn't be crying others have It worse” You ramble through the crying. Trying so hard to fight the breakdown your body is compelling you to have. 

“Stop it, stop it, you need to let it out, it's healthy to let your emotions process and I'm right here I'm not going anywhere” He whispers firmly, his lips pressing against your forehead. His arms around your waist securely, pulling you even further into his chest. Your hands grab ahold of his hoodie, needing something to hold as you break down in his arms. The flashbacks of everything your parents used to say to you growing up, fresh in your mind. The way they use to make you feel, the empty feeling when they wouldn’t show up to your important events. Your brother is always more important than you, to both of your parents. Your father always ignored him as well, work to him was always his number one purpose. But he would still openly love him more than you.

~~~

Trying to shake those memories and feelings out of your mind, taking a deep breath calming yourself down steadily. Listening to your boyfriend's heartbeat and never noticing that something so quiet could be so loud and make the most beautiful pattern in times of need. Slowly you loosen your grip on his hoodie, pulling your hands away to wipe your face. 

“Thank you” Mumbling under your breath as you take a small breath trying to find the strength to face him.

“Don’t need to thank me, I'm alway here for you” Spencer smiles lovingly down at you, as he moves your hair out of your face carefully.

“I know but still I’ve never had someone stay with me when I’ve cried the way I do, It means alot not having to hide my feelings” Smiling lightly, as you move more into a comfortable cuddling position. 

“Well I’m glad you can do that with me now” He smiles back, kissing your forehead, his arms wrapping around you. 

~~~

“So do you want to tell me who you ran into the other day?”

Sighing softly as you lean your head into his lap, closing your eyes.

“I saw my brother out and about with his girlfriend and my niece. So I was going to go over and say hi, but then I saw my dad was walking over to them. He was catching up to have coffee with them” Opening your eyes as you spit the last piece out with venom. Spencer stares down at you with pity and understanding. “Don’t look at me like that” Sighing as you cross your arms. 

“Okay I'm sorry you know i'm just worried about you, but why would your brother be catching up with your dad I thought he didn’t like him either”

“Well he reached up to Stephen a couple years ago, they’ve been trying to mend their relationship ever since then apparently. I just don't get why he would want him back in his life or even in his kids life, why would he want to do that” Shaking your head in frustration. 

“Maybe he's changed?” He shrugs, throwing out some suggestions. Stupid suggestions in your opinion. 

“No way, he's not capable of change” 

“Everyone is capable of changing you just need to allow them time to change”

“He had my whole life, I think that was enough time don’t you?” You retort back, rolling your eyes at him.

“Okay okay, I'm just trying to give ideas here.” Spencer defines himself, running his hand through your hair, calmly.

“Your right, I’m sorry I just thought Stephen would always be on my side when it came to our parents guess I was wrong, oh did I tell you what he said to me once I comfort him in text messages yesterday” Scoffing out, leaning your head further into his hand just like a cat does getting head scratches. 

“What did he say?”

“He told me that they had been meeting up behind my back for years and when I was told that my Nieces birthday party was cancelled last month, well it wasn’t cancelled I was just uninvited because our parents were going to be there and they didn’t want ME to start an argument” Huffing feeling emotionally drained. “I never start the arguments Spence I just stand up for myself, defend myself when I have to but apparently that's not allowed” Whimpering softly as you close your eyes, allowing yourself to sink evenfurther into his body. 

“I know baby, family isn't everything you know that right, I accept you and so will my family as well as my team. Garcia will demand we go to pride parades with her, you're going to love her” Spencer speaks bubbly, trying to lift your mood. Smiling softly as he watches the anger and sadness wash away from your face.  

“Thank you, I can’t wait to meet your team and also your mum one day” you smile up at him hopefully.

“Oh she has been begging me to bring you to meet her everytime I call her, I don't know how much longer we can hold off for” He laughs softly.

~~~

The next morning you were half surprised to wake up with your boyfriend's arms still wrapped around your waist. Normally he always gets called away for a case, so being able to sleep in with your boyfriend is definitely a treat. Smiling softly as you tilt your head up which is resting comfortable on his chest. Watching how peacefully he looks as he sleeps, all the worries and the concerns gone from his mind for a few hours. His messy wavy hair covering half his face, his lips a little swollen from the activities from the night before. The light hickeys on his neck make your chest burn with pride as you take them. Rubbing small circular patterns on his chest, taking deep breaths, breathing in his scent. The weight of all the stress from the last few days having been taken off. All by just having your boyfriend to listen to you and love you without judgement. 

~~~

“Morning love” Spencer's raspy morning voice breaks the silence of the room, smiling down at you on his chest. 

“Mm good morning bambino” You smile up at him, leaning up to kiss him gently. His hands resting softly against your naked back. “How did you sleep?” You ask after you break the kissing snuggling back down.

“Pretty well, better than I have in weeks” He smiles softly, running his hands down your back, leaving a trail of goosebumps. “How was your sleep, beans?”

“It was great, someone tired me out great last night” You tease him, your hand slows down rubbing circle patterns on his chest. 

“Mmm oh did I now?” He smirks down at you, a knowing look in his eyes. His hand slides down from your hair, sliding on to your neck tracing the hickeys he left the night before. Feeling the blood rush to your checks, biting your lips to stop the groan from slipping through your lips.

“Oh yeah you did Spence” Pulling away from the touch on your neck as you roll yourself on top of him. Your hands resting on the bed frame above his head, smirking down at him. He gazes up at you, need and lust in his eyes, licking his lips slowly as he takes you in. His hands come to slide up your back, holding you still as he pulls himself up to sit up properly.

Letting out a small whimper as you grind against him lightly, he laughs quietly as he brings you into another kiss. One of his hands slides up from your back to run through your hair. Yanking at it slightly, because you’re teasing him, grinding against him, smiling cheekily at him.

“Oh no you don’t Amora” Smirking as your hand slides down to his neck. Both of you jumping lightly at the sudden knocking at the door. 

“Just ignored it, it's properly the neighbours asking for something” You whisper leaning back down, kissing him harder as your hand wraps gently around his throat. His hand drops from your hair to slide down your body. Groaning softly into your mouth, letting you regain control over him.

“(Y/n) I know your home, open your door!” A familiar voice yells out banging even louder on the door, making you groan frustratedly as you pull away from your boyfriend.

“Oh for fucksake” Huffing as you look down at the confused look on Spencer's face.

“Ah who is that?”  Spencer asks, his eyebrows raising as he releases his grip on you as you regrettably get off him.

“My brother, please stay in here, this is not how you two are meant to meet” You sigh as you walk out quickly, pulling on some pants.

~~~

The banging and yelling continues at the door as you rush around quickly. Throwing one of your shirts on not having time to button it up as you're opening up the door. 

“Hold on Stephen Im coming” You yell as you yank the door open. Staring up at him irritated, crossing your arms. “Why the hell are you here so early on a saturday morning Stephen seriously” 

“It's not that early, it's 9:30, you should be up by now” Stephen sighs, taking in your appearance as he walks in shutting the door behind him.

“Well I had a bit of a late night, and it was suppose to be a bit of a fun morning before you turned up” You smirk, glaring at him. Earning a disgusting gagging noise in return, along with an eye roll.

“I did not need to know that you have someone in the bedroom right now (Y/n), that's disgusting come on I don’t want to know how many one night stands you have” He shakes his head, disgusted at the thought of his brothers sex life.

“Oh shush It's just my boyfriend, I told you about him, remember?” 

“Oh right sorry, I didn’t realise you two were still serious.”

“Okay well Stephen why the hell are you here, I thought I already told you to fuck off the other day” You sigh allowing your anger to simmer down, leaning against the wall.

“Oh can you just chill out for a little while please, I know what I did was wrong and I already apologised I'm actually here about something else” Stephen exhales already regretting how this conversation is going. He wanted you to be in a more relaxed, forgiving mood before giving you this letter but it was too late to start again.

“Okay what is it, what's going on you have that look on your face” Your eyes narrow watching him closely, curiously. 

“It's about dad, he wants to talk to you he's sor—”

“No, no I don't want to talk about him” Standing up straight, your body becoming more tensen. The concern you have now fading back into the anger that is still fresh in your veins.

“(Y/n) please he's changed hes—”

“Has he changed, or has he only changed for you?” Scoffing lightly as you glare at him, trying to stop your voice from getting too loud. “How many times did you need to correct him on my pronouns or my name huh, he might spend time with you but that doesn’t mean he's changed enough to accept me” Your voice starts breaking a little at the end. Breaking eye contact with your brother as you feel the anger turning into tears.

“I didn’t have to, Dad respected you the other week at the birthday party. He even corrected other people about your pronouns, just give him one more chance” Stephen begs you softly, pulling something out of his pocket, staring at you when you don't respond. “He wrote you a letter, wanted me to give it to you” He held it out to you, but you didn't move to grab it. Your arms shaking mildly, your heart pounding away. The panic rises higher in your chest, making it feel like you're drowning. 

~~~

“Get out” You manage to mumble out, looking over at him finally. Stephen staring at you looking defeated.

“No, (Y/n) please you need to understand how he has changed please” Stephen begs, knowing its falling on empty ears.

“I think it's best you leave now” A voice appears behind you both. None of you had noticed that Spencer had entered the living room.

“I just wanted to explain everything to him” Stephen tries to explain to Spencer, almost begging him to understand.

“And you did that, but now it's time you go, He will text you later” Spencer speaks with a neutral tone. Trying his best to keep calm as he walks towards the door opening it wide for Stephen. Stephen sighs giving up, giving you one final look, as he walks out the door only stopping as he gets to Spencer. Holding the letter out to him with one last pleading look, Spencer takes it with a small nod closing the door behind him. 

~~~

You're lying down on the couch after taking a long hot shower. Calming down after the altercation with your brother early, playing on your phone as you do so. Sighing softly, feeling frustrated, why does your family have to be so complicated. The only family member who was always there for you, you haven't spoken to in months. After having a stupid, pointless argument with. 

“Hey, how are you feeling?” Spencer asks softly, as he sits near you, looking at you closely, with concern. The argument he had overheard early was wretching to hear. The pain in your voice, the tears and pain on your face hitting straight into his heart. He knows how much you value your brother's opinions, and knowing how much it must hurt you to think he betrayed you by taking your fathers side.  

“Im okay, Im sorry he ruined our morning early” You smile weakly trying to make a joke out of it all.

“It's okay, do you want to talk about” He places a comforting hand in your hair. You move  closer to him, lifting your head into his lap.

“Don’t want to talk about them any more” You shake your head, thinking about your Uncle instead. About how supportive he always is when it comes to family problems, no matter how old you are.

~~~

“I’ve told you stories about my Uncle Dave right?” You look up at Spences, a small smile tugging at your lips.

“The one who also works for the FBI right?” He questions, looking down at you. Confused at the change of subject.

“Yeah him. He was my rock growing up, the only one who ever accepted me for me” You smile lightly, staring up at the ceiling. “He was the best guy I ever had in my life, when my parents let me down he was always there picking up the pieces, he made sure he came to every single one of my events. He knew my parents were never there, he would get so mad at my dad. They used to be best friends, technically Daves my Godfather but I call him my Uncle” You smile increases as you talk about him. 

“He sounds like a great man, he's the one who gave you money to get top surgery right, the one who supported you through university when you wanted to become a writer” Spencer smiles as he sees you become more relaxed, lighting up as you speak about your Uncle.

“Yes him, dad always thought it was stupid but not Dave, he thought it was awesome, he's actually a writer as well” You take a breath as you feel your words leaving too quickly. “Once he retired from the FBI the first time around, he wrote his first book and became a famous author, I guess he inspired me a little bit to follow my dreams” 

“You know you still haven’t let me read any of your writing” Spencer teases you, running his hand through your hair.

“And you never will my love” You laugh, rolling your eyes playfully at him.

“Oh no you will show me one day” He smirks, “Okay, so your Uncle he's back in the FBI now, so what does he do?” 

“Oh I think he's in a similar field to you actually he's a profiler” You stand up, stretching a little feeling Spencer eyes ranking over your body, smirking to yourself. Walking over to your bookshelf that sits by the tv, pulling out one of David Rossi books.

~~~

“Actually he is one of the co-founders of the Behavioural analysis unit, back then it was known as behavioural science unit though, him and my dad found it together” You smile at Spencer as you sit back down but it quickly fades as you meet Spencer's eyes. His eyes fill with shock horror as he takes in the information you have just presented to him. “Spence, are you okay?” Your voice comes out quietly. Thinking or more likely hoping, that maybe he might just be surprised that you're related to famous FBI agents. 

“David Rossi, your uncle?” Spencer's voice comes out slowly, barely above a whisper, his eyes bouncing down to the book in your hand. “That would make Gideon your dad?” He gulps, his eyes widen as he puts the pieces together. Wondering to himself how he never noticed this beforehand, how could he be dating his mentor's son?

“Yeah Gideon, legally my last name” Taking a deep breath trying to decipher what his reaction is meant to mean. “Do you know them?”

“Jason Gideon was my mentor that I’ve told you about” 

“Wait wait wait, the one who got you into the FBI and the BAU unit at such a young age, that one?”

“Yeah him, he never mentioned that he had another child” Spencer's words come out with a mix of surprise and disgust at everything that he is learning about his old mentor and friend.

“I'm not surprised he tried not to mention me unless he had to” Taking his hand as you see it squeeze into a tight fist of anger. “I'm sorry Amore if I realised I wouldn’t have told you the way I did, I didn't put two and two together when you were saying Jason I just assumed it was a different Jason from the FBI” You sigh feeling guilty, upset that you may have just ruined your lovers view of his mentor. You know how much he idolises him and looks up to him. 

~~~

“It's okay, how did I not know your last name Gideon?” Spencer looks at you confused, raising an eyebrow, tilting his head to the side like a lost puppy does

“I normally go by my Mum maiden last name, it was better that why when I was going through university I just kept it that way” you shrug, it wasn’t something you meant to keep from him.

“That makes sense” He nods, still trying to wrap his head around it.

“So um, do you also know my Uncle, well Godfather David Rossi?” 

“Um yeah yeah I know him” Spencer half laughs nervously, looking at you guilty. “I work with him, that's the Dave I refer to, I spend more time with him than I do with you”

You can't help the laugh that leaves you, clapping a hand over your mouth quickly. “No fucking way, seriously?”

“Yeah seriously, Rossi teases me all the time about you, wait until he finds out I'm dating his godson” Spencer rubs his temple feeling the stress arise, grinning wide at you. 

“Oh no no no, We are not telling him anytime soon Spencer no way” Shaking your head, laughing. “Hell no, he will kill you, he might love you but he will kill you, he's way too overprotective some days. He doesn’t even know I’m dating right now”

“What, no you can’t expect me to hide this from him”

“Um yes I do, not forever just for now” You smile at him knowing you will win. “I’ll tell him I'm dating someone and we will break it to him slowly okay, but I love you and he is not breaking anymore of my relationships up”

“Anymore?” His eyebrow raising in concern and fear. “Do I want to know?” 

“Probably not Amore Mio” Chuckling softly as you lean in kissing him.

~~~

As the morning moves on, Spencer leaves to go home, having chorus he needs to get done before he gets called away on a case again. Hopefully if he doesn’t get a case that means another movie night with you tonight. But to fill in the gap of him being gone this saturday afternoon you decided it's time to fix a bridge you broke. Picking up your phone and clicking on his icon, listening to the rings. Waiting with anxiety as he takes his time to answer.

“Uh hey (Y/n) ” Dave answer, completely surprise when he sees your name pop up on his phone. Happiness filling him at once when he saw it, only to be quickly replaced with dread. Hoping that you're not injured or hurt, holding his breath as he waits for your reply.

“Ah hey Dave, um sorry I hope you're not busy, are you?” You ask, biting your lip nervous, trying to stop your words from stumbling. 

“Busy no, I'm free, what's up” Dave's eyes narrow, worry filling up inside of him. It's been months since you two have last spoken.

“Do you fancy a cup of coffee, or maybe milkshakes, so we can catch up” Taking a deep breath “I need to apologise to you, I was unfair the last time we spoke and then avoiding you for months was not cool of me”

A small chuckle is heard on the other side of the line. “Caro its okay, milkshakes sound great”

“Okay good” You smile, letting out a deep breath of air “So our cafe in town, say in an hour?”

“Perfect I’ll see you then kiddo” Dave smiles with relief as he hangs up. 

~~~

You’re already sitting at the table in front of the cafe. Waiting in the sunlight sipping on your milkshake that has already arrived. You had ordered your favourite, along with Daves favourite which is salted caramel with chocolate. Sighing softly as you wait, having arrived early, you knew he wouldn’t be much longer. Your nervousness grew as you waited, wondering how you could explain why you have been ghosting him the last couple months. Deep down you know he's already forgiven you and was giving you space, it’s what he has always done when you two argue. 

~~~

“Ooh you got me my favourite, Angelo” Dave smiles interrupting your thoughts, standing up quickly as you see him approach you. Smiling as you feel your nervousness disappear as your eyes meet his, nothing but love and happiness present in him. 

“Davey Of course I did” You smile as he pulls you into a hug. Relaxing softly as you feel his arms wrap around you. Taking a deep breath, allowing yourself to accept the father hug you've been carving the last few weeks, but too scared to ask for. 

“I'm surprised you rang me” Dave says after you both have sat down, sipping his drink. 

“Yeah, I know it's been awhile since we last spoke, or really since I screamed at you, I'm really sorry Dave” You sigh, playing with your drink as you look up at him. Feeling his eyes studying you closely, a small smile growing on his face. 

“Its okay caro, I should of told you the truth when it all happened but I didn’t want to worry you”

“Dave you got stabbed of course I'm going to worry about you. Hell you're practically my only family, I can’t lose you” Exhaulling as you take a second to calm yourself feeling the rage you felt from the previous argument from months ago returning. “You could have died Dave and you hid that from me just like Dad used to and that scares me. I hated the fact of you went back to the FBI, because I was scared I would lose you, that we would lose touch or you would die, I know that sounds unreasonable but when you didn’t tell me you got stabbed it just felt like we were drifting apart, after all these years” Gulping as you look at him. Finally admitting everything you have been feeling. His eyes soften, his hands unwrapping around his drink leaning over to take yours, that's tapping the table repeatedly, a nervous tic you developed growing up.

“(Y/n) I’m okay, I know my job is dangerous but I know how to handle myself and I am careful when I'm in the field, my team always has my back”

“I know that, and I’m okay with the fact that your back on the team I get it now but I guess at first it was just hard to think why you would want to go back, but after all the stories you have told me, all the good ones I get it” Smiling a little, nodding at him. “Its apart of who you are”

“That it is, but I promise you we will never drift apart, I will always be here for you, no matter how many arguments we have okay, I see you as my son that's never going to change okay” His smile is full of love, giving your hand a small squeeze.

“Thank you, I mean you helped raise me, always being my number one supporter thanks Papà Pasta” You smile, chuckling softly, feeling the conversation getting too emotional. Dave shakes his head laughing at that choice of nickname.

“Is that nickname ever going to stop?”

“Oh never” You smirk cheekily at him as you sip your drink.

~~~

You two sit there drinking your milkshakes, catching up for almost an hour. Him telling you about the recent cases he has been on and your favourite part, the drama in his team. One thing about David Rossi is that he loves to gossip, he can keep so many secrets. But the ones that roam free, he will happily spill to you as long as you listen.

“We are still trying to convince Reid to introduce us to his boyfriend, I’ve never seen him so happy before, It's great to see the kid giving love a proper chance” Dave smiles, he alway gets excited talking about his team. He sees them like family, especially the younger ones, taking them under his wings like they're his own kids. You couldn’t believe you never connected the dots that his Reid is your own Spencer Reid. Half of you wanted to tell him right now that you're dating his co-worker, but he can get too protective when it comes to your love life. He has enough reason to, you have never been good at picking them, and he's had to point it out way too many times. This time you were hoping if you keep it quiet it might work out for once. 

“Aw well, I get him wanting to keep it quiet for now” Smiling softly, thinking about the words Dave has just used. How Spencer is so much happier with you, which just warms your heart. You sip on your drink trying to distract your brain from thinking about him, not needing your Uncle to pick up on anything right now.

“So is that why you haven't said anything about those hickeys on your neck” Dave smirks, sipping his milkshake. He’s been waiting for a moment to tease you about it. You choke lightly on your drink, splattering as you look back up, feeling the blood rush to your cheeks. 

“Excuse me, I have no idea what the fuck your on about” Shaking your head quickly, cursing yourself for not hiding it better.

“Hey language” Dave laughs, loving how shy you're going. He had noticed that you had tried to hide the hickey under bad makeup but it is just so easy to see.

“Fanculo” You smirk at him. “Anyway we are not going to talk about my hickeys or who gave them to me because that's weird talking my sex life”

“Okay okay fine, I’ll let it go, only because I'm not like my team and sticking my nose into other people's love life can get annoying” He smirks a little, shaking his head.

“Wait, do you have a love life David?” You wiggle your eyebrows up at him, swallowing down a laugh.

‘Hey hey hey, we aren’t talking about me here” He shakes his hands in front of him dramatically, making you laugh.

“Fine fine”

~~~

“So what's happening in your life?”

“Oh nothing, just work at the bookstore, I’ve had the last couple days off cos I haven’t really been feeling well but Im feeling better now, so back to work monday” Your smile flickers for a few seconds, trying hard to keep it up. But he doesn’t miss it, he already picked up that something wasn’t right, he was waiting for the right time to ask about it. 

“Okay that's it, tell me what's bothering you” Dave sighs, leaning back giving you that pointed look of his, one he’s used many times to get you to spill your secrets.

“It's not a big deal, I don’t want to bother you with this stuff again” Shrugging your shoulders, your voice trailing off as you glance down at the floor. 

“Hey its me, Its Uncle Davey, you can tell me anything it's never a bother” Dave speaks firmly, already having an idea about what this was about. 

“Did you know Jason back in town, He's been having coffee and reconnecting with Stephen and not only that but the other week for his daughter birthday he uninvited me so Dad and Mum could be there with no arguments” You huff out, wishing the anger would return to you but instead your just being hit with feelings of betrayal and despair. “I was looking forward to it for weeks and he lied to me about it being cancelled just so our asshole parents could be there, Mum I could on with for the sake of him but why the hell did dad have to be there, he was never there for us growing up” 

“(Y/n)” Dave starts, his tone soft, careful as he knew you were on the edge. Watching your body tensing up, the way your jaw clenches as your eyes widen holding back the tears.

“No no, I get it he was working but he always picked work over us Dave always. You were there more often than he was” Spitting out the words, as you take a deep breath wiping your eyes hard enough to dry them up. 

“I can’t excuse his past behaviours, nothing can, he should have done better, Stephen had no right to lie to you about it either but” He takes a breath watching your face hardens at his ‘but’. 

“But maybe he's trying now for Stephen and for his kid isn't that a good thing for him?” Dave says, he knows you don’t want to hear it, but it is a good thing for Stephen.

“I don’t want to see him get hurt again Dave, he's been through enough” Shaking your head as you cross your arms, not meeting his eyes.

~~~

“Okay, has he tried to reach out to you at all, is that why you're really upset at him?”

“You know I don’t really like profilers” Scoffing lightly as you let your arms fall to your side. 

“So this is what it's really about huh, he didn’t reach out to you and you want him to?” Dave smiles slightly watching you. You laugh coldly at him.

“No, at first maybe, It's always Stephen before me, I get it he's the better son, the ‘real’ son as they say. At first I was pissed that they had been having coffee for a while without reaching out to me, but then this morning Stephen showed up to my house after our argument the other day and” Exhaling letting yourself calm down, allowing your brain to gather your next words. “And this morning he showed up I thought he wanted to re-explain himself but no turns out, he was there on behalf of our father, he had a letter written for me, I didn’t want to deal with it so I told him to get out, he wouldn't listen, he finally left after my boyfriend opened the door and kicked him out” Groaning with frustration as you tell the story, not even noticing that you slipped up.

Dave sighs annoyed, shaking his head. “He doesn't know when to quit and give you a little bit of space does he, so your boyfriend dealt with him huh?” His lips twitch into a small smirk, raising an eyebrow.

“Oh crap, I let the cat out of the bag didn’t I?” Sighing, smiling a little. “Yes boyfriend, but yeah he had to come in this morning and ruin a perfectly good moment to I will add, with a stupid letter”

“I get this isn’t great but maybe it's time you talk to him maybe he's changed maybe he—” He cut off as his phone rings again. He checks it quickly before declining, placing it on the table, screen down. 

“That's the fourth time your phone rang this afternoon. If you need to go Dave it's okay” You reassure him. 

“No no it's fine, it's just an old friend, I’ll ring him back later” His smile falters a little, distracted.

“Okay, is everything okay?” You watch him feeling concerned.

“Im fine, we are talking about you, maybe you need to give Jason a chance, he might just miss you, it's been years since you have talked” He forced a small smile, avoiding eye contact, a little guilt in his eyes. You study him for a little bit thinking, the whole time you’ve been talking he hasn’t been surprised about anything at all. Normally he isn’t trying to get you to talk and forgive your dad like he is today. It's almost as if he’s already talked to him.

~~~

“You spoke to him, that's who's ringing you isn't it?” You accuse him, eyes widen as everything clicks into place. His face drops as he looks at you guilty, his eyes soften as he sighs lightly. 

“I'm sorry Tesoro, he got in contact with me a couple weeks ago. He knew we still talk and wanted to know the best way to get back in contact with you. I told him not to but after we caught up for a drink last week I noticed he changed. He wants you in his life, he knows how much he has messed up but he wants to make amends” Dave almost begs you to understand as he speaks. Staring at you, his eyes begging you for forgiveness as he studies you closely.

“I, I can’t, no” Shaking your head as you struggle to string words together, staring at him in disbelief. 

“(Y/n) please, I know it can be scary letting him back in your life, but he's changed all we talked about was you and Stephen. It was the first time I have ever talked to him and never had to correct him on your pronouns or names, he even referred to you as his son multiply times”

“That doesn’t make up for anything Dave, not with everything that has happened between us” Shaking your head as you feel the sharp pains stabbing you in the chest.

“I know but it's a start, isn't it?”

“I guess it could be but–”

“No more buts, answer me honestly, do you want a relationship with him?” He stares at you seriously. You look over at the road and watch a few cars drive pass by, thinking. You always dream of having him back in your life. Him calling you his son, spending quality time with him again. 

“Yeah, I think I do” Speaking quietly, looking back over at him.

“Then you need to let him in to allow it to happen, you know that” Dave smiles encouragingly at you.

“I know, I'm just over him hurting me, but I guess I can risk it one more time” You sigh, smiling weakly.

“Good, and if he does hurt you I will deal with him, happily” He smirks at you, tapping his drink with yours.

~~~

“So what's this about a boyfriend huh?” Dave smirks, leaning forward, his elbows perched up on the table resting his chin on his hands. 

“Oh him!” You groan playfully, biting your lip trying to stop the smile from growing too much.

“Yes him, why haven’t I heard about him before, how long has it been going on for?”

“Over five months now, coming up to six months soon, he is amazing, he is so cute he also–” You stop yourself shaking your head. Not needing to tell him anything more about him to your uncle, because he would figure it out Immediately.

“Almost six months and you never told me?” Dave glares slightly “Why are you hiding him?”

“Um well, you know how my relationship are they always go to fast so we wanted to take it slow, plus you always scare them off, not to mention what happened to Jimmy” 

“That's because I worry about you and the ones you pick weren’t good for you, if this guy is the right one then he has nothing to worry about” He smiles gently, before his eyes narrow. “But Jimmy, I didn’t do anything to Jimmy I was just there when his arm broke, that's what happens when he lays a hand on you” He shrugs his shoulders and glances at his phone before his eyes are back at you.

“Right right, you always say you just went to talk to him with Aaron when he merely tripped over” Rolling your eyes smiling a little.

“Exactly, so does this boyfriend of yours have a name?”

“Nope he does not, because I know if he did you would do a background search on him, but I can tell you he works for the FBI as well, so that's a good thing right?” Smirking at him as you see the gears turning in his head.

“Yes good thing so far, maybe I’ve worked with him”

“Maybe you have, you never know. I’ll introduce you one day just a couple more weeks, I just want to get through the family issues first then you two can meet”

“Perfect, then I can have you two over for pasta. He better knows how to cook” You both laugh at that. Shaking your head at the thought of Dave trying to teach Spencer how to cook.

~~~

You're cooking dinner when Spencer walks into your apartment, entering your kitchen.

“Hey Beans, what are you cooking?” Spencer asks, taking a strong sniff of the air smiling at the delicious smell.

“Spaghetti bolognese with fake pasta according to my Uncle” You laugh lightly, placing the dried pasta in the boiling pot of water.

“Only he would say that, wouldn’t he?” Spencer laughs quietly, leaning against the counter beside you. His eyes move over your body, studying you closely, before he left this morning you were a ball of nerves but now you seem completely different. You're more relaxed and joyful instead of stressed and anxiety filled. A grin spreads across your face as you sway along to the music playing in the background as you cook.

“So how was your day, Bambino?” You smile at him, feeling his eyes stuck on you, once more profiling you. It can get annoying most days but you know he doesn't mean to, most of the time and after the last few days events it makes sense for him to be a little worried.

“It was great, I caught up with Ethan at the coffee shop. He's just passing through town but it was great being able to catch up with him properly” He smiles happily, a little guilt in his eyes as he thinks back to the last time he saw him. “You know it's been 5 years since I last saw him, almost two years since we really spoke. I was surprised when he asked to catch up but it was great seeing where he is now with his career,” Spencer smiles, feeling proud of his friend. 

“5 years wow that's a long time, he's the one who lives in New Orleans right?” You glances at him slightly as you stir the dish.

“Yep, last time I saw him was on a case, that case was actually the case that my co-worker JJ met her boyfriend Will, they have a kid now too” He smiles weakly thinking back to that case. “It was also the case that finally pushed me to ask for help with my drug problem, Ethan pushed me to get helped” He looks up at you slowly meeting your eyes. His eyes are full of valuability, he doesn’t like talking about that part of his past. You already knew about his drug addiction, he's opened up a little bit about it but he still feels shamefully when he speaks about it.

~~~

“I'm glad he did, It takes a lot of strength to ask for help and now you're 4 years sober” You smile proudly at him, serving up dinner.

“Almost 5 years In a month actually” Spencer sighs, smiling forcefully. A part of him is still feeling guilty about it all, the memories of Tobias Hankel popping into his mind. His hand rubbing his arms where he was poked with the needle, the feeling fresh on his body. Your eyes catch this movement setting down the pot, taking his hand gently in his. 

“We should celebrate, 5 years is amazing, everyday is an achievement so we should do something to celebrate this” You smile up at him, looking at him proudly.

“Oh I don’t know it's not a big thing” His words trail off when he catches that stubborn look in your eyes, sighing as he smiles softly. “What would we even do?”

“Why don’t we go away for the weekend or we take a day or two off to make a long weekend and go see your Mum, maybe it's time I finally meet her” Shrugging as you think about it, smiling at the idea of finally meeting Diana Reid. Spencer's face lights up, as he nods energetically.

“That is a great idea, I haven’t seen my mum in ages and I really want you to meet her” 

“Then It's settled, we will go and see her and have our first vacation away together” You chuckle leaning forward kissing him lightly.

~~~

After you two have finished eating your cuddle up on the couch watching a nature documentary. Spencer's head resting in your lap, as your hand strokes through his hair as your mind fading away from what's on the screen in front of you. Your mind travels to your father and what could possibly be in that letter, regret setting in that you never took it from Stephen when he was offering it to you. Now you're going to have to ask him for it, is this something you truly want to do, could you really deal with his cockynes right now. Spencer rolls his head over to look up at you, feeling your hand come to a stop in his hair. He was wondering why you have been quiet tonight, normally you like adding small comments throughout it but not tonight. 

“Okay Beans what's on your mind?” He asks, frowning softly as you don't respond, not even looking like you heard him as he calls out to you again. He moves his head off his lap sitting up properly, the movement is what pulls you out of your deep thought looking at him.

“Where are you going?” Looking at him confused as you meet a concerned stare. 

“You were so zone out, you didn’t hear anything I was saying” 

“I'm so sorry I was just thinking about something” Smiling weakly as you glance down at the ground.

“What was it about, if you don’t mind me asking”

“The letter, a part of me wants to know what Jason wrote but the other part of me is scared to know what my father may have written in the letter” Sighing softly looking back up at the tv. “I also really don’t want to have to ask Stepehen for it, not after this morning.” Feeling the couch beside you move, glancing at him as you see him get up, watching him walk towards your bookshelf. 

“Um Spence what are you doing?” Feeling confused as you raise an eyebrow watching his movements. He smirks lightly as he picks up the letter he had placed down there after taking it from your brother earlier. Turning back towards you, sitting beside you holding the letter out towards you without uttering a word, just giving you a soft reassuring smile.

“He gave it to you before he left?” You're stunned as you take it from him. Staring down at your name written on the envelope, having not seen his hand writing in so many years. 

“I thought you would want to read it later, even if you didn’t you still you had the option just in case” His voice is soft as he rubs your lap gently, smiling softly watching you.

“Thank you” You whisper, glancing at him as you place it down on the side. 

“Always” he smiles, wrapping his arm around you.

~~~

It's been two weeks since you received the letter. It took you about a week to finally find the courage to read it, which had torn straight into your heart. Deciding you would reach out to Jason you just needed time to figure out how you would go about fixing your relationship with him. You and Stephen had made up, agreeing that you both were out of line and would try harder to be better siblings. Dave has been asking to meet your boyfriend everytime you two talk, which you know you have to tell him about Spencer sooner rather than later. You haven’t seen Spencer in awhile seeing as he's been working longer cases lately. In the last two weeks you've seen him possibly three times, before he gets called away. You know it's his job, so you don’t mind too much, it just makes you cherish the time you get with him alot more. It was your six month anniversary the other day, but he was away on a case. He felt so guilty for missing it but you reassured him it was okay and that it can be made up when he gets back.

~~~

The Bau team was finally on the Jet back to D.C after a tough case, they were gone for nine days. They had decided to stay an extra day just to help get some paperwork done after catching the Unsub. As they fly back home, the team is in higher spirits than they normally are after a hard case. It could be because they managed to rescue five girls that the unsub had kidnapped or the fact that they had all managed to get a full night's rest last night for the first time in weeks. Or maybe it was the fact that they know when they land they have the next three days mandated off. As they fly back, Hotch is sitting in the back of the plane doing some paperwork, Rossi is sitting opposite him, having a playful argument on his phone. As the other four are playing cards, laughing about something stupid that Reids is trying to tell them, distracting them as he manages to crush them in the game.

~~~

“Alright listen up” Rossi gets up, walking over towards the agents playing games, all their eyes quickly flick up towards him. 

“Rossi I swear, If you're about to tell us that we have another case I will push you off this plane” Emily points her finger threateningly at him. 

“I will happily help you with that Prentiss” Morgan agrees nodding his head as he places his cards down.

“Hey hey hey, that's a bit dramatic don’t you think” Rossi gasps, shaking his head.

“Okay, we’re sorry, what's up Rossi?” JJ smiles softly, as the team chuckles.

“I am inviting you all to my place for a family dinner and drinks at my mansion tonight, Garcia is already getting things organised after begging me on the phone to host it” He chuckles lightly, smiling.  

“Ohh if you're cooking I am definitely in” Morgan laughs smiling. Enjoying the idea of having a relaxing night with the people he cares for. 

“Can I bring Will and Henry?” JJ asks, smiling, liking the idea of a family event.

“Of course it's not family without them, plus Jack is going to be there, he is going to need some entertainment” Rossi shakes his head faintly, always having to reassure JJ that her boyfriend and kid can always come to family events.

“Oh I won’t be able to make it toning, I’m sorry guys” Reid shrugs, sipping his coffee. Hotch turns around at this news to watch, wanting to know what's going on.

~~~

“And why not?” The older man sighs, turning to give Spencer a pointed look.

“Well tonight me and (Y/n) are supposed to be celebrating our 6 months, I missed it the other day so I was going to make it up to him tonight” Spencer explains, avoiding Rossi's look. Recently it has been so difficult to not tell him who he's dating. He's been trying to avoid Rossi at every moment he can, even when they are in the field together. The team quickly noticed something was up, but Spencer managed to come up with a lie about being tired that's why he's been off, no one bought it of course. Maybe that's why Rossi is throwing this dinner tonight trying to fix this weird thing between him and Spencer.

“Serieoly Reid, you have the next three days off, can't you make it up to him on one of those days?” Morgan asks, narrowing his eyes. His behaviour has been worrying the whole team lately.

“I mean I could but I really miss him so I just—” His voice trails off at the look his whole team is giving him.

“Then invite him” Emily states, giving him a look. 

“We want you to come, and we have been begging you to introduce us to him for ages so please Spencer” JJ begs him, giving him her best puppy face, knowing he's a sucker for it.

“I uh” Spencer glances at Rossi quickly catching a confused, hurt look from the man. 

“Okay fine, I’ll ask him if he wants to come, but if he says no can you all back off, please” Spencer sighs, not wanting to put you into a bad spot.

“Of course” Hotch jumps into the conversation giving the team his best over protective dad look. 

“Ring him now and ask” Morgan encourages him, smirking a little. Excited to finally get the chance to meet this mystery man of Reids.

“Fine” Spencer huffs, smiling slightly as he stands up making his way to the back of the Plane for privacy.

~~~

“Hello Amora” You answer the phone happily. Having excused yourself from work, for a break as you see Spencer name pop up on your phone. 

“Hey Beans, uh how are you” Spencer clears his throat as he speaks. Feeling nervous as he talks to you, which you quickly pick up on.

“I'm fine, what's up?” You ask carefully, feeling your eyes narrow with worry.

“Uh I know we have plan tonight, but um”

“Another case really, do you guys never rest?” You ask in disbelief, mouth gaping open.

“No no, no more cases” Spencer is quick to reassure you, knowing how you worry when he and his team work too hard.

“Good, because you need rest, so does your team, your boss works you guys too hard” You let out a sigh of relief. “Okay then what's wrong?”

“Nothing wrong, I just, uh we have been invited over to Rossi tonight for team dinner and drinks”

“Oh, both of us?”

“Yeah they want to meet you, they want take no as an answer any longer, I know it's awkward because he will be there but–”

“Bambino it's fine” You cut him off before he can start rambling, smiling softly, hearing the worry in his voice. “I think it's time I finally met the famous BAU team, Plus I think it's time we told Dave he said you’ve been acting weird the last couple weeks” Smirking lightly, knowing just how awkward he can get when trying to keep secrets from those he cares for.

“Are you sure?” Spencer smiles letting out a breath, feeling at ease.

“Yes I’m sure, why don’t you come and get ready with me at my place before we go over to his mansion, yeah?”

“Okay, I will meet you at yours after you finish work then” Spencer smiles happily. “Bye baby, I love you”

“I Love you to Spence, wow can’t believe i'm going to meet the famous David Rossi tonight” You both laugh, feeling relaxed as you hang up. 

~~~

Spencer walks back towards his team. Hotch and Rossi have now joined the rest of the team at cards. Rossi having stolen Spencer's seat, he now has to sit down beside Hotch, smiling gently as he watches the team play.

“So Reid, are you two joining us tonight?” Morgan asks, glancing at him, smirking lightly.

“Uh yes we will be, they have work but after that we should be able to make it” Spencer smiles at them all.

“Fucking finally we get to meet this guy who makes you all squishy” Emily sniggers, placing her card down. 

“Oh Garcia is going to love this” JJ laughs as she notices Morgan pulling out his phone.

“Already on it, Babygirl is going to flip” He winks at Reid, noticing the kid go red in the face, shaking his head at Morgan. Spencer turns his attention to Rossi who's leaning over Morgan's shoulder reading his texts to Garcia.

“You two concern me sometimes, chocolate thunder” Rossi glances away with playfully disgust on his face as Morgan laughs at him.

“Don’t worry about it old man” Morgan winks putting his phone back down.

“So Reid are you going to tell us how you meet this man of yours or do we have to wait for tonight?” Rossi asks, smirking at him.

“Oh uh” Reid blushes at that memory. “I don’t think that needs to be brought up at all”

“Oh okay, there has to be a good story behind that” JJ smirks, holding back a laugh.

“One that you guys will never know,” Reid shakes his head.

‘Oh don’t worry Garcia will manage to get it from (Y/n) I'm sure she will mange” Hotch laughs knowing when it comes to gossip she is unstoppable. Reid groans, hanging his head knowing it's true.

“Oh I can not wait to hear that story” Emily laughs, watching the dread on Reid's face.

“Okay I'm regretting this already” Spencer shakes his head, picking up the cards that Rossi hands him for the new game. “Oh um by the way Rossi, just as I was getting off the phone with him before he may have said he was excited to meet the ‘famous David Rossi’ he's a little bit of a fan” Spencer laughs along with the team as they watch his face slowly drop.

“Oh no” 

~~~

As you stand in the mirror contemplating on how you wanted to dress for tonight. Should you be more casual and just throw something random keeping it lowkey or wear something that makes you feel more comfortable, more yourself. You knew deep down the team wouldn’t judge you on what you wear, Spencer had reassured you of that, many times. Rossi has even told you that his team is the most welcoming type of people, he's tried to get you to meet them a few times in the past. But you know that they have all met your father so that has always thrown you off a little, but not tonight. Tonight is just going to be about you and Spencer and, of course, your overprotective Uncle. Sighing softly running your hand through your hair, taking a deep breathing to calm your heart that just seems to be having a race with itselfs. 

“Hey beans, are you almost ready?” Spencer asks as he walks out of the bathroom, brushing his hair. Coming to stand behind you in the mirror, tilting his head to the side in confusion as he sees you holding three different tops in your hands. 

“I don’t know what to wear” Sighing softly as you throw them on the bed, turning around to face him looking defeated.

“What's going on?” Spencer asks as he places his hands on your waist, looking down at you. 

“I’m just, Im worried about what your teams going to think about me” You sigh looking down, not needing him to stare into your eyes right now. Because if he does, you would easily spill all your worries to him so easily.

“Baby, why's that? You know my team is going to love you”

“It's just.. It's just what if I'm not what they're expecting?” You whisper out the words, ashamed of the way you're thinking.

“You are exactly what they are expecting, they are expecting someone who makes me feel happy and loved and that is you” He smiles softly, tilting your head up to look at him. Feeling your cheeks burn under his touch, smiling gently as you feel the stress fading from your body. 

“Thank you” You mutter softly as you kiss him lightly, he pulls away slowly smiling.

“Always, now do you need a hand figuring out what to wear?” 

“Please” You smirk lightly, “Do you think they will care if I wear a little bit of makeup, It just, it normally makes me feel comfortable in my skin” 

“Baby they won’t mind at all, Men wear makeup, It's normal. Garcia just might fall more in love with you though” He smirks softly, “And Morgan might be a little jealous of your piercings, he's only allowed his ear pierced at work, but he wants to get his nose pierced but it goes against our uniform” Spencer informs you, hoping it will help calm your anxiety of dressing how you like. The smile and the exhale informs him that he said the right things, giving you a quick peek on the cheek as he steps back. 

“Just relax, wear what makes you happy, I’ll feed Bubbles while you get ready” He smiles as he walks off, letting you get ready. Smiling to himself as he hears you turn your music on as he walks to the kitchen.

~~~

About 30 minutes later, you're both finally in the car, on the way to Rossi places. The rest of the team was already there, Garcia texting him to hurry up, apparently her and Morgan went straight into the tequila. Glancing at Spencer smiling softly as you see him texting them back, he always looks so relaxed and at ease when you drive. Car rides are one of his favourite things to do, he likes listening to the music and audiobooks as he stares out the windows and watches the world goes by. Mainly he only likes it because you're the one driving, it makes him feel safe. 

“Oh God, apparently Garica just found Jaguar but Rossi took it off her to save it for later on in the night” Spencer groans softly which turns into low chuckle, which you join in on.

“Oh I think this Garica person owns my heart already” You chuckle gently as you pull into Dave's driveway, parking in your normal spot by the big tree that hangs over his yard. It's the best place to park seeing as you can stay out of other people's way and no one can park in front of you, making a quick getaway. 

~~~

Deciding to quickly check yourself in the car mirror before getting out, taking a deep breath as you take in your reflection. You had decided to go with your normal makeup routine but adding a little more mascara and blue smokey eyes. Which made your blue lip piercing pop, along with your nose ring. Smiling softly as you take in your makeup feeling confident as you run your hand through your short hair. Glancing over at your boyfriend who is waiting patiently for you, smiling softly at you. His eyes full of love and admiration as he takes you in, the way you always end up being yourself, unapologetically, makes his heart melt. 

“Are you ready (Y/n)?” Spencer asks as he sees you take a deep breath.

“Shouldn’t I be asking you that, you're about to meet my uncle slash father figure” You joke lightly as you climb out.

“Oh I think I’ll survive” Spencer laughs as he gets out walking over to you to take your hand. You intwine your fingers in with his as you make your way towards the front food.

“Maybe, I mean he hasn’t killed any of my dates yet, only broken an arm” Exhaling, smirking slightly.

“Im sorry he what” Spence eyes widen in frighten as he comes to standstill, turning to look at you in shock and fear.

“Oh relax, that was only because Jimmy was an abusive dick, you will be fine Amore Mio” Squeezing his hand in reassurance as he takes a deep breath, calming down. 

~~~

As they reach the front door, it suddenly flies open and they’re met with two people in the doorway.

“What the.. Morgan seriously?” Spencer laughs easily. Raising his eyebrow at his best friend who's standing there, with a massive grin on his face.

“That was babygirl not me,” Morgan laughs, indicating at the blond woman in front of him, who's dressed in warm pastel colours. Who's staring up at you with love and fixation on her face, a glass of alcohol in her hand as she makes her way to you.

“No way it's you, you, I love your makeup so much” She screeches with excitement as she finally gets in front of you, pulling you into a hug.

“Hi, I’m guessing this is Garica” Laughing softly as you hug back tightly.

“Oh my god you know me” Garica giggles pulling away as she smiles wide up at you. “Ahh I have been dying to meet you for months, but the boy genius has been insisting on keeping you to himself which sucks” She blabbers on excitedly. The man beside her who you had reconsigned instantly as Derek Morgan, places his hand on her shoulders calmly.

“Baby girl, take a breath we have all night to integrate him for information on his and Spencer relationship just let him settle in first” Derek laughs happily as he looks up at you. 

“It's great to finally meet you (Y/n) I dig the piercing, by the way” He smirks, shooting Spencer a look which is received with a glare and a soft blush from your boyfriend.

“Thanks Derek, Trust me I'm happy I finally get to meet the famous BAU team” Chuckling softly as you hear voices and laughter coming from inside.

“Yeah I heard you're a fan of David Rossi, you like his books?” Morgan asks, smirking at the idea of embracing the old man. You glance over at Spencer giving him a weird look, being met with his cheeky grin instead. 

“I thought telling him you were a fan would completely throw him off” Spencer smirks. Garica narrows her eyes at you both, before meeting Morgan's eyes, who's looking just as confused as she feels.

“Okay, you two have completely lost us” Garica starts, which earns a light shake of the head from you.

“Oh it's okay you guys will understand soon, anyway can I meet the rest of the team now or?” You smirk, raising your eyebrow as they are still blocking the entrance. 

“Oooh yesss the rest of the team is dying to meet you” Garica lights up once again. 

~~~

She grabs your hand, your other hand automatically reaches out grabbing Spencer's, dragging him behind you. Laughing happily as you allow Garcia to drag you both into the house, Morgan follows behind you both, chuckling at the look of horror on Reid's face. She first leads you to the living room where the large glass doors have been open to give more access to the outside area. As you enter the living room you are met with a couple of women and a man who has his arm wrapped around a blonde woman's waist who's smiling happily as they chat away. Their conversation is quickly broken up as they look up hearing people enter the room.

“Oh finally you two show up, I was starting to think Reid got cold feet” The dark haired woman is the first to speak laughing as she teases your boyfriend.

“Oh I think he was  definitely close to bailing on the way here” You joke back, as you slide your hand out of Garcia's grip as you reach the small group of people.

“Hey no I wasn’t” Spencer stumbles over his words, looking at you playfully offended.

“Aw sure sure bambino” Teasing him softly as you squeeze his hand softly, smiling lovingly up at him. You feel more comfortable around his team than you originally thought you would, a part of you still feels like a jumbo mess of nervousness as you wonder where your Uncle is. 

“Ooh that's Italian, Rossi is going to love you” The blonde lady smiles, giving you a small once over before glancing at the other woman smirking, trying her best to be subtle. But Spencer catches the look going red in the face as he realises the team is giving their approval on his partner, making him feeling all nervous and hot. 

“Oh the Italian man, he will love me” You smirk to yourself, earning a few laughs from the team.

“Im Emily by the way” The dark haired woman introduced herself. “I already know your name, Reid loves to mention you every chance he has” 

“Okay can we maybe try to not embarrass me tonight please” Spencer begs as he rubs his temples laughing awkwardly, the rest of the team shaking their heads laughing at his expression.

“Oh no that's the whole point of meeting the team Amore, I need more stories of you” Smirking softly, as you turn to the team. “Please tell me you guys have a lot of embarrassing stories of him you can tell me tonight”

“Oh plenty,” Emily laughs.

“Ohh where do we start?” Garcia giggles evilly as sips her drink.

“How far back do you want us to go?” The blonde woman joins in, smirking. “Im Jennifer by the way but everyone calls me JJ, this is my partner Will”

“Hey there” Will smiles lightly as he nods.

~~~

You smile softly as you look around, taking them all, relaxing. Your boyfriend was right, Everyone here seems so friendly and judgement free. Making you feel so at ease as you relax into the environment.  

“It's great to meet you all, I feel like I already know you guys with the amount of stories I have heard” you smirking, knowing half the stories are mostly from Dave who still hasn't made an appearance yet. 

“Oh is that a good thing?” Derek asks, his face is pulling into a silly terrified face making you and Garica laugh.

“Maybe, maybe not” You tease him, smirking. Soon your conversation is interrupted by a little boy, around the age 4, running in towards the group of adults. 

“Mummy!!” The boys yell excitedly running towards JJ smiling widely, as she looks down watching him run in from the outside area. Where you can see another boy and another grown man out there. 

“Henry inside voice baby” JJ smiles, picking up the young blond boy as he reaches her. “What's up baby?” She smiles down lovingly at the boy in her arms. 

“I wanna show you and daddy what me and Jack made” The boy giggles happily, glancing between his mum and dad.

“Alright buddy, why don’t you lead the way and show us yeah” JJ smiles more, her face lightening up as she speaks to her boy. Henry nods, wiggling his way out of her arms, making his way to the ground. 

“Come on mummy and daddy come on” He giggles and goes to run back outside when the group's soft laughter gets Henry's attention. 

“Auntie Penelope join us” He gasps softly as he grabs her hand, pulling her out of the room, not allowing her to answer. 

You laugh softly with the others as you watch the small boy boss the three adults around, making their way outside. 

“He's such a little bossy little thing” You smirk watching them, noticing just how close this team truly is.

“Just like his mum” Derek laughs

“Just like his Dad” Emily laughs harder, realising how in sync she is with Derek. 

“I do wonder what those kids are up to though” Derek wonders out loud as he wanders over to join them on the patio. 

~~~

Suddenly it's just you, Spencer and Emily standing there looking over at the place the group has moved to.

“So where is David Rossi hiding?” You ask, smirking, looking up at Emily.

“Well he went down to his wine cellar earlier just before you two walked in so he should return soon” She smiles lightly sipping her drink. “I heard you're a fan of his?” You couldn’t help but laugh at her, shaking your head slightly.

“Oh Dave is my favourite profiler and one of the best true crime novels” You chuckle lightly, sarcasm sipping into your words as you speak. Spencer laughs, shaking his head at you glancing down at the ground. Emily stares at you confused, about to ask a question when she's interrupted.

“This is a surprise” A shocked excited voice greets you from behind. Turning around quickly to meet with your uncle smiling happily at you.

“Hey Davey” You smile lightly, all your nerves coming to the surface. 

He brings you into a light fatherly hug, kissing your cheek lightly. “What are you doing here (Y/n)” Dave asks as he pulls away. You smile softly, gulping lightly as you glance over at Spencer, quickly your eyes back on your Uncle.

“My boyfriend invited me to meet his team” You smile nervously, biting your lip to help calm yourself down. Spencer tenses up forcing his smile to stay put, but it slowly fades as he watches Dave's reactions. The speed at which Spencer's heart is racing makes him reconsider whether it could be possible that a heart can explode out of someone's chest. 

Dave's eyes have narrowed so far down, once he had registered the words you had uttered out. His face hardens instantly, turning his attention to Spencer. His mouth parting slightly, but no sound leaves as he tries to find the right words to say to the young boy looking terrified at him.

“Boyfriend?” is the only word Rossi says, but it's enough to double the tension in the room. 

“I uh.. Well y yeah we are together” Reid struggles to form a sentence under the death glare of Rossi.

“Dave um.. Look we” Your words die in your throat as the glare moves onto you for a short second. There's something hiding in his eyes as he glances back at Reid, something you are struggling to read. 

“Your dating him?” Rossi speaks lowly, almost threatening as he stares danger at Reid, making the hair on the back of his neck stand up. Seeing Rossi smirk a little, when sending a shiver down your spine remembering the last time you saw that look in his face.

“Run, Spencer run” You turn to look at your boyfriend, slapping his arms lightly. 

~~~

Spencer's eyes widen like a deer caught in a headlight and in a split second he's turning around and sprinting towards the door leading to the backyard where everyone is. Spencer jumps clear over the coffee table trying his hardest to get outside the quickest way possible. You can’t help the laugh that escapes you as you see Dave chase after him, with the biggest smirk on his face. 

“Morgannn” Spencer squeaks out, as he rushes towards Morgan who's in the middle of the backyard. His yell captures the attention of Morgan and Garcia who are dancing playfully together entertaining the two children and the adults standing on the patio. Who are now staring in confusion at Rossi as they see him chase after Reid catching up to him quickly.

You're barely able to hold it together trying to control your laughter as you watch the scene play out in front of you. Emily laughing along with you sipping her wine, having put the pieces together of who you could be to Rossi, and she was living for this drama.

Spencer, having reached Morgan, is now hiding behind him, holding on to his shoulders to keep him in front of him a shield. Morgan is holding up his hands in a “I surrender’ or more like a ‘Keep me the fuck out of this’ type of way. Morgan is just a sack of confusement and almost at a lack of words for this strange situation as he has Rossi in front of him. Who seems to be staring and wanting to scream at Reid for some unknown reason, but Morgan can easily read the amusement in Rossi's eyes.

~~~

“What the hell is going on here” Morgan asks, staring at Rossi, rolling his shoulder back trying to get Reid to loosen his tight grip. Glancing over at Garica who just has the same confused look on her face but she can’t stop giggling at the scaredly confused look on her Chocolate thunder's face.

“He's trying to kill me!” Reid exclaims dramatically, popping his head up over Morgan's shoulders.

“I'm not going to kill you Reid, not yet at least now come here” Rossi huffs annoyed, smirking at the look on Reid's face. Reid looks scared but there's a soft relaxed almost amused look on the kids face as well. Reid would always know that Rossi would never hurt him badly.

“Never thank you, I’m choosing life” Reid grins terrified.

“So am I” Morgan sighs, grabbing Reid by the wrist pulling him to the front of him, getting tired of being a human shield. “What did you even do, pretty boy?”

“More like who” Reid grumbles, his eyes widens even more as he realises that Rossi is walking even closer towards him so he quickly takes off running again.

“Reid!!!” Rossi yells annoyed and starts chasing the younger boy again, they start running around in a circle. Morgan and Garica shake their heads in confusion as they walk over to where JJ and Will are, hoping that they might have a clue as to what is going on. 

~~~

Your laughter slowly dies down as you sip on your drink. You and Emily finally decided to join the rest of the group outside on the patio. Everyone watches as your boyfriend and Uncle run around in a circle, occasionally stopping to yell words at each that no one seems to be able to hear being so far away. 

“Um, why is Dave trying to kill Reid?” A confused voice interrupts everyones watching time. You turn around to see who the new voice belongs to, breaking out in a new giant smile as you see Aaron standing there staring at the scene with a bemused look on his face.

“Oh my gosh Aaron?” You grin up at him, his eyes quickly shots over to you. The confusion quickly clearing up, grinning widely as he sees you.

“(Y/n), now that makes sense” He laughs lightly as he pulls you into a quick hug, which you return happily. “How have you been, kid?” He asks you as you two pull away, the team watching you two closely. Everyone's confusion just keeps getting higher as they watch their normally up tight unaffectionate unit chief, pull Reid's Boyfriend into a hug as if he's known you for years.

“I'm doing great Aaron, how are you going, how's Jack been?” Your thoughts automatically go to his son, who you use to babysit a lot and only stopped a couple years ago.

“He's great he should be around here somewhere” As if on queue Jack quickly runs from where he was playing in front of the group and towards his father.

“Dad guess what” Jack giggles and quickly stops as he spots you “(Y/N)!! It's you” He squeals, as he turns from his father and jumps up at you for a hug. Which you quickly accept, picking him up into your arms.

“Hey Jackie” You grin at him “I’ve missed you”

“I missed you too (Y/n/n) oohh I have so much to tell you” Jack grins up at you. Oh how you forgot how much the kid owns your heart.

“Well kid looks like you have all night to catch me up yeah?”

“Yesss” He grins at you as you place him back down. 

~~~

The conversation is broken up by Spencer and Rossi walking back over to the group laughing like complete idiots.

“Who's ready for pasta?” Rossi asks, ignoring everyone's questioning looks.

“Uh are we not going to get any answer as to whatever that was first?” Morgan asks, staring at them like the idiots they are.

“Nope food and more alcohol first” You speak up laughing at them as Spencer walks over to you wrapping his arm around you, leaning down to kiss you softly. A chorus of awws and cheers breakout through the group making you laugh as you pull away from him.

“Ew please don't do that in my house” Rossi groans as he walks to the kitchen. Making you break out in laughter once more as you follow him in leaving the group of confused people to follow in after you.

As the group makes its way to the kitchen where Dave has the pasta all ready to be served, taking a seat at the bench on one of the stalls closer to the end of the island. The team slowly comes to surround the kitchen, Spencer passes you a new drink as he stands behind you, his arms coming to wrap lovingly around your shoulders, allowing you to lean back into him.

“Aww you two are just the cutest” Penelope exclaims as she sits beside you smiling brightly at you two. You turnt  her with a big grin on your face.

“Oh we know but thank you” You chuckle softly, sipping on your drink looking over to Dave who's shaking his head. A soft loving smile on his face as he walks around the kitchen grabbing the utensils and plates for dinner. As the team surrounds the bench all taking a seat or standing at the end of the bench, all with a drink in their hands. The two little boys settled on the table in the corner of the room, colouring in as they wait for their food. The room is buzzing with chatter and laughter from the group, you don’t find it hard at all to slip into the rhythm of the group of people around you. 

~~~

“So Rossi, what's on the menu for tonight?” Emily asks as the attention is soon brought to the pasta set down in front of them. The warm smell of pepper and cheesy pasta starts filling the room.

“Spaghetti alla carbonara” Dave smiles proudly, as he starts putting some onto plates and walks over to the kids setting it down in front of them, who start cheering happily.

“Ohhh wait thats my favourite” You pipe up licking your lips as your mouth starts to water.

“Oh I know” Rossi smirks at you, his eyes full of mischief, chuckling softly as he sees the realisation settle on your face.

“You flipping knew didn’t you” It wasn't a question as you stare at him in disbelief only for him to chuckle more at you.

“Wait, how did you figure it out?” Spencer asks him, staring at him clueless.

“Oh come on it wasn’t hard” Dave laughs, shaking his head at them. “Oh come on, you two have been dating for the exact same time, both a lot happier recently. Your boyfriend works at the FBI and whenever I mentioned Reid you would avoid eye contact or your smile would grow” He looks at you pointedly, you want to argue with him but being at a loss of words you just close your mouth in retreat “And you” Rossi starts, turning to look at Reid. “Your boyfriend has the same name as my Godson, seriously, you’ve been avoiding me the last couple weeks Reid and then today on the Jet it wasn’t hard to put together” Dave can’t help but laugh at the look of surprise on both the boys face.

“I thought we were hiding it well” You argue weakly, pouting softly.

“Not at all,” Rossi smirks, passing plates of food around the group.

~~~

“Wait Godson, that makes so much sense” JJ laughs softly, staring at you three along with the rest of the team.

“Oh right I guess no one had told you guys yet” Aaron chuckles, shaking his head at you lot, taking his plate from Rossi.

“Wait, you knew he had a godson?” Morgan questions turning his attention to his boss.

“Oh yeah I knew who (Y/n) is, he’s also Jack's favourite babysitter” Aaron smirks looking at everyones confused little faces. 

“Wait so you seem to be quite close yet we are only just finding out about you now, why is that?” Emily asks, leaning forward sipping her wine.

“Oh I'm really good at being kept a secret, it all started with my parents” You laugh quietly to yourself trying your hardest to keep the bitterness out of your voice. Even if the room wasn’t filled with profilers, it wouldn’t take much to figure out what you said had made Rossi, Hotch and your boyfriend all tense up.

“Right, well on the cherry topic here's your dinner Angelo” Rossi clears his throat handing over your plate of dinner.

“Thank you Papa Pasta” You smirk cheekily at him as you reach over to grab it from him, only to be given a disapproving look.

“Papa pasta?” Garcia burst out laughing alongside the rest of the room, who couldn't contain themselves after seeing the look on Rossi's face.

Rossi takes the plate away from you and passes it to Morgan instead who is the last to get his food.

“Hey!!” You exclaim, staring at him trying your best to keep a straight face.

“I told you to never use that nickname again” 

“Oops my bad!” You laugh lightly, smiling brightly at him. “Can I please get my dinner please?” The room seems to be holding back their laughter now as Rossi rolls his eyes passing you a new plate of pasta.

~~~

As the night goes on with laughter and funny borderline embarrassing stories of the team, it may have only been hours but you're already starting to feel like a part of the gang already. Soon the group has made its way to the living room, spreading over the couches, Will had left not long after dinner taking both boys home for a sleepover. You're sipping your drink leaning your head into Spencer’s shoulder, allowing yourself to feel happy and enjoy the night. Your face was burning with how much you have been smiling and laughing throughout the night.

“And that is why we never let Reid and Morgan go alone together to get food on a case” JJ finishes telling the story, no one in the room could contain their laughter anymore. Spencer tries hiding his bright red face behind your neck, laughing softly as he does so. 

“Hey hey it was not our fault how were we supposed to know we would accidentally order 2 bags full of ketchup” Morgan argues playfully loudly, the alcohol running through his system making his voice louder than usual. 

“Oh come on sugar what did you expect?” Penelope giggles, resting her head on Morgan's shoulder. Her cheeks are bright red due to the alcohol, smiling widely as she stares up at Morgan.  

“There is a story I would like to know” Emily speaks smirking, turning to look at you and Spencer.

“Oh no Emily, I told you not to ask, '' Spencer groans as he brings his face back out from behind your neck.

“Fine I won't then” Emily wiggles her eyebrows giggling softly. Staring at her in confusion you glance at your boyfriend feeling the whole room watching you two silent laughing at your reaction.

“I will then. So (Y/n) how did you two meet?” JJ giggles tipsy, sipping on her drink as she leans into the couch staring at you.

You couldn't hold back the groan of regret that slips through your lips as you hang your head backwards. Why did they have to ask that question, that night you meet Spencer had been full of regret at the time.

“Oh I know that look” Dave chuckles, shaking his head in amusement. “Tequila or vodka?” 

“Both, and way too much of it” You groan, closing your eyes, hearing the room start laughing at you once more.

“You were so drunk” Spencer teases you lightly, thinking back to the night.

“At least I didn’t vomit all over my shoes” You shoot back. Opening your eyes to glare jokingly at him.

“No you were classy and vomited into a bush after walking straight into a pole” Spencer laughs harder, smiling lovingly at you. You shake your head at him as you look at him getting lost in his eyes, smiling more as you take in all his beautiful features. 

“Awww you two are so in love” Penelope giggles drunkenly, her voice pulling you out of your drunken glaze. Turning your attention back to the room, blushing deeply as you notice everyone staring at you.

“Yes they are” Dave rolls his eyes standing up. “Who needs another drink, I know if I do if I'm going to hear this story” 

“Ohh I do” Emily smiles more 

“Me to” You agree, smiling. “I believe I heard someone found a Jaguar earlier” You smile cheekily up at your Uncle, just hoping he would bring it out.

“Fine” Dave sighs but then smirks at Reid. “Only because your boyfriend here is sober and is going to have to be the one to deal with you once you start drinking that shit” Dave chuckles at the look of fear on Reid's face.

“Oh please no” Spencer groans. Earning a soft slap on the thigh, followed by a kiss on the cheek.

~~~

Once everyone has fresh drinks, and is all settled back down again the story of how you and Spencer meet is brought up once more.

“So you two were drunk when you two met?” Morgan smirks looking at Reid. “When do you ever drink Reid?”

“For one I wasn’t drunk at the beginning, and two we first meet about two years ago through some mutual friends, it was a special occasion”

“You just kept doing shot after shot trying to impress the cute blonde with blue eyes” You laugh as your boyfriend turns as red as a rose. 

“Yeah but then it turns out she was a bitch” Spencer shrugs smiling down at you in his arms, it almost feels like it's just you two in the room when you stare into his eyes.

“Woah did Spencer just call someone a bitch?” JJ gasps dramatically, placing her hand over her chest.

“I think our boy genius did, ooh someone was being bad huh?” Emily chuckles lightly leaning into JJ side. The alcohol makes her tired and turns her into a cuddling mood.

“She was being a homophobic, transphobic fuck so my knight in shining armor decided to stand up for me” You smile happily, not even realzing you had just outed your self. You wouldn’t have known except the room went quiet for a few brief seconds.

“Wait your trans” Penelope breaks the silence. Her voice radiating excitement, looking at you with a huge grin on her face.

“Trans and proud of it” You smile back at her. You never notice the proud smiles and looks that Rossi and Hotch share with each other, as they see just how far you come with your self acceptance journey. 

“My brother’s also transgender” Penelope shares excitedly.

“Really that's so cool” You smile more, relaxing more into Spencer's arms.

“Hey you never told us that babygirl” Morgan smiles softly, before turning his attention back to you and Spencer. 

~~~

“So what Spencer, you decided that someone was hurting your boy, so you had to rescue him huh?” Morgan smirking teasingly at Reid.

Spencer clears his throat, his face heating up again. “Oh uh something like that”

“Oh no what happened?” Aaron asks, keeping his laughter at bay as he recognises that look of embarrassment and regret slipping on to the younger boy's face.

“Oh well…” Spencer trails off.

“He decided that he would, while drunk spout off some statistics about how homophobic people end up and alone and proceed to call her a slut in front of the whole bar and then she throw her drink at him and we both got escorted out of the bar after that” You laugh loudly as you remember the look of shock on his face that night. The alcohol that slipped down his lost puppy dog face, as the bouncer grabbed his arm and pushed you both out of the bar. 

“You two got kicked out of the bar?” Emily asks between her laughter, because of course Reid would be the one to get kicked out for starting a bar fight by talking statistics.

“Attaboy Reid” Dave cheers, smiling proudly at the kid. Dave already approved of you dating Spencer but the fact that the kid stood up for you only hours after meeting you, made him realise that he is the one for you.

“It was a hell of night, after that we went to another bar just us two and did shots for the rest of the night until it closed” You grin sipping on your drink, finishing it again. Spencer is quick to get you a refile, picking up the bottle that lays beside you topping up your glass.

~~~

“So if that all happened two years ago why did it take you two ages to start dating” JJ questions curiously.

“Well I had just broken up with my ex and went through a bit of a rebound sex for a few months after that” 

“Was that after you broke up with Caleb?” Rossi interrupts you, giving you a disgusted look.

“Yes Caleb, I know you didn’t like him” You sigh rolling your eyes.

“You did have shit taste in men (Y/n)” Aaron adds in, defending Rossi.

“Hey! I expect this from Dave but you Aaron that just mean” You pout at him earning a soft laugh from the man.

“I feel like there is so much we don’t know about you (Y/n)” Emily stares at in awe.

“You need to get more alcohol in me then you will know everything” Chuckling softly as you smile at the girl.

“Okay wait I still haven't gotten my whole story yet” JJ complains, her words smushing together lightly, due to the alcohol.

“Oh right right sorry JJ’ Emly quickly apologies encouraging you to continue.

“Okay well after that night out me and Spence decided to keep in contact soon we became pretty good friends, hanging out when we could with our busy schedules, after about a year I started releasing I was falling for him, so well..”

“He decided to ghost me for weeks on end instead of just adamant how he felt, it took months for me to finally get him to admit he was heads over heels for me” Spencer smiles proudly as he finishes telling the story.

“I should have realised earlier that you felt the same way seeing as you've been pining after me for the last two years” Teasing him softly. Closing your eyes slowly, tiredness running through your body. Spencer presses his soft lips to your head as he sees your eyes drifting close, knowing how exhausted you can get after drinking.

“Aw that is adorable” JJ giggles, nudging Emily lightly grinning at her.

“Who knew Spencer would look so cute being used as a pillow” Emily laughs at him. Only for Spencer to glare at her, trying his hardest not to smile at how cute you look in his arms.

“He's also a really comfy pillow” You laugh quietly, smiling widely. Opening your eyes in a haze.

~~~

“Hey uh guys” Aaron calls out trying his best to stop his laughter, which is slipping throughout his words. Everyones turns their attention to look at what Aaron seems to be pointing at. Which is a sleeping Derek and Penelope curled up together on the couch snoring softly. The team has to try to control their laughter when they see them, just sleeping peacefully doing their best not to wake them.

“Oh someone please take a picture of that so I can tease them tomorrow” Spencer whispers giggling softly.

“On it” Rossi smirks, pulling his phone out, taking a few photos of their tangled bodies on the couch.

“Hey, does anyone have a marker?” Emily grins up at the room.

“Prentiss, no” Aaron sighs, shaking his head with a playfully smile.

“Prentiss yes, I know where they are” Laughing quietly as you stand up wobbly, walking out quickly your legs shaking under you. You know the amount of alcohol you have consumed tonight you might regret in the morning. You return quickly with a handful of markers handing a couple to Emily as you walk past her and over to the sleeping bodies.

“Did you go into my study?” Dave stares at you in shock, noticing that you have the good quality markers.

“I did, that's where the nice stuff is” Smirking at Emily who's kneeling beside you, who giggles quietly glancing back at Dave instantly recognizing the unimpressed look on his face.

“(Y/n) I think you're my spirit animal” She whispers quietly as she starts drawing a moustache carefully on Morgan's face.

“Well thank you” Smiling brightly as you go and drawing kitten whiskers on Penelope cautiously, so as to not wake her.

Soon JJ has joined you both and is drawing on Morgan's arms grinning as you all come up with silly things to draw on them.

“Okay that's enough” Dave sighs standing above you five, holding a pile of blankets. “Give me the markers and you three can stay the night in the spare bedrooms” 

“But Uncle Daveee we aren’t finished yet” You whine softly, staring up at him pouting.

“Yes you are now up, I’ve already made sure your bedroom is ready for you (Y/n) now come on” He sighs, placing the blanket down, taking the markers off you and the two girls. Which results in all three of you pouting and whining for them back.

“They're like children” Dave huffs looking over at Hotch for support but he just laughs at the poor man's looks.

“They are your responsibility tonight Dave, I'm off duty” He chuckles while sipping on his drink.

~~~

“Fine we will get up” JJ sighs, standing up grabbing Emily hand pulling her up with her.

“Fineee I'm up” Emily mumbles, walking back over to where the alcohol was. “Wait where's the alcohol go?”

“I put it away, it is bedtime” Reid laughs, shaking his head at his coworkers drunken state, his eyes coming to land on you. Seeing you swaying on the spot as you stare at the wall past everyone, you were now growing quiet which was starting to worry him. He knows how you get when you are tired and drunk, your emotional side tends to slide out. He walks over to you, slowly wrapping his arms around your waist resting his head on your shoulder. 

“You ready for bed darling?” He whispers softly into your ear.

“Yeah” You breath out, leaning into his touch. He lets go of your waist, taking your hand in his as he walks back over to the group of people. The blankets are now covering the sleeping Penelope and Derek who haven't even woken once yet. Emily and JJ are holding onto each other giggling softly in their drunken hazy having a hard time trying to stand still.

“You two are going to need help getting up those stairs” Aaron repates smiling softly, shaking his head at JJ.

“Nooo Hotch we got this” JJ giggles turning around taking Emily's hand trying her hardest to walk straight to the staircase but they both end up stumbling and almost tripping over, again. If it wasn’t for Aaron who managed to grab her arms stabilise her.

“Okay maybe we need help” JJ laughs more, her eyes fluttering close.

“Okay JJ I gotcha ya” Hotch laughs lightly, wrapping his arm around her back. He has been enjoying tonight, watching his team having a night of relaxation. They need it after all the trauma and hard cases they have to deal with.

“Dave, do me and Spence get my old bedroom?” Muttering softly as you watch him try to stop Emily from falling over she lets go of JJ.

“Yeah Kiddo, that room will always be yours” Dave smiles softly, notices the secure grip Spencer has on you. Dave couldn’t be more happy that the two of you finally found each other.

“Wait, you used to live here” Spencer asks softly.

“Nah, well kind of, I use to crash here weekly when I grew up, to get away from my transphobic fuck called parents” Grumbling loudly as you let Spencer help pull you past his team and up the stairs to your bedroom.

~~~

Yor bedroom hasn't changed much since you were a teenager. The draws still have pictures of you and a few old friends on it, along with photos of you and Dave, even some including Stephen as well. Smiling softly as you sit down on the bed kicking your shoes off, watching as Spencer walks over the draws, looking at the photos you have on them.

“I haven't seen many photos of you as a kid” Spencer smiles softly as he looks at them. Noticing that in every photo you always have tilted your head to the side slightly, it's his favourite thing about how you look in photos.

“I don’t like photos of me, but these ones are special to me” You smile, your heart filling with love as he turns back towards you smiling more at you.

“But you're so adorable in every photo” He smiles more as he sits on the bed beside you, wrapping his arms around you pulling you into his chest.

“Gosh I love you Spencer” You whisper closer to your eyes, feeling safe in his arms.

“I love you to (Y/n), Let's get some sleep, yeah?” He whispers back, laying you both down.

“I never thought I would bring a guy I truly love back here you know” Speaking into the silence of the room. “This is my safe place, I never bring anyone here because I knew they weren’t the right fit for me you know, but you're different Spence. I think you're the one” Speaking slowly, your words fill with love and affiliation, tears swarming in your eyes. The room falls silent again, thinking you might have overstepped a boundary. Opening up your heart too much, telling him he's the one for you might have been too much, especially while drunk.

“Thank you.. For telling me I know that's hard opening up, I feel the same way with my team it's why I’ve never intrude them to anyone I’ve dated before because when I did, I wanted it to be the right one” He smiles softly, squeezing you gently as he had felt your body tense up as he took his time thinking of the right words to speak.

“I'm so glad we have each other Spence” Smiling gently, leaning over to kiss him softly. “Goodnight Amore Mio”

“Gooodnight love”

[bi-bard]

Original Characters Masterlist [Vol.2]

Hello!

This masterlist feels both sudden yet incredibly expected. Over the years, I have created original characters (OCs) for a variety of fandoms. I adore them all, but many of them were not made with the intention of being more than a one-off story. That led to some stories that I am simply not as proud of as I would like to be. Also, they were written when I was a coward and was terrified of changing known canon. Now that I am much more comfortable doing that, I want to make something that I can feel much prouder of.

This will serve as a new beginning for many of my OCs and as the new official masterlist for all of the stories in those current timelines.

I have remade an OC before. I am not remaking all of them. This is merely a way for me to keep moving forward and not get stuck in one spot.

The remade OCs are the Hannibal OC, the Criminal Minds OC, and the Supernatural OC.

The other OCs will be left as they are, though I have done a lot of work behind the scenes in order to get those characters to flow much better than they did before.

I hope you all enjoy these stories!

If you want to read the original stories for the remade OCs, click here.

If you want to go to the main navigation guide, click here.

Special Note: Some stories feature other original characters outside of the reader. I utilize face claims for such characters as to have physical descriptions to separate them throughout the stories. No such face claims are used for the reader (main oc).

----------------------

Criminal Minds OC - Spencer Reid X Gideon!Reader

When Jason decided to take in a newly orphaned child after a particularly rough case, people had many thoughts. Some called it kind, some impulsive, some even called it fate. More begin using that last term when (Y/n) and Jason begin working alongside each other.

Pre-Show:

Season 1:

Season 2:

Season 3:

Season 4:

Season 5:

Season 6:

Season 7:

Season 8:

Season 9:

Season 10:

Season 11:

Season 12:

Season 13:

Season 14:

Season 15:

Season 16 [Reboot]:

Post-Show:

Criminal Minds/Supernatural Crossover OC - Emily Prentiss X Winchester!Reader

Changing your name and running away doesn't always free you from your past. (Y/n)'s past rears its head just as they're making a name for themself. (Y/n), their brothers, and their team learn a very important lesson: "monster" can be both literal and figurative.

Pre-Show:

Season 1:

Reunion [ep. 1 - Supernatural]

The Moment Spencer Reid Became My Best Friend

Scrapbooks

Season 2:

Tragedy in a Pair [ep. 1 - both]

Revelations [ep. 14 & 15 - Criminal Minds]

Season 3:

Season 4:

Season 5:

If the World Was Ending... [ep. 22 - Supernatural]

Season 6:

Season 7:

Just Between Us, Did the Love Affair Maim You Too? [ep. 2 - Criminal Minds]

Rebuilding [ep. 23 & 24 - Criminal Minds]

Season 8:

Season 9:

I Didn't Mean To

Season 10:

The Retreat [ep. 8 - Supernatural]

Season 11:

Season 12:

Season 13:

For Those Who Don't Know Who I Am [ep. 15 - Criminal Minds]

Season 14:

Season 15:

Season 16 [Criminal Minds Only]:

Post-Show:

Doctor Who OC - The Doctor X Timelord!Reader

(Y/n) spent most of their early life as nothing more than a weapon. Continuously called the Savior by the Time Lords training them, (Y/n) knew all too well about the weight sitting on their shoulders. However, when Time War comes and (Y/n) fails their very purpose, they have two choices: hide away from the universe forever or travel the universe and help as many people as possible.

Other Important Original Characters

Pre-Show:

The Savior Fails

Series 1:

Plastic Promises [ep. 1]

Familiar Foes [ep. 6]

Special: Reckless [2005 Christmas Special]

Series 2:

Series 3:

A Normal Life [ep. 8 & 9]

Series 4:

Series 5:

Series 6:

Series 7:

Clever Boy [ep. 1]

Series 8:

Series 9:

Series 10:

Series 11:

Series 12:

Series 13:

60th Anniversary Specials:

Season 1:

Post-Show:

Hannibal OC - Hannibal Lecter X Reader [Sunshine Character Trope]

(Y/n) had been sheltered for quite some time. When they finally get a chance to see the world around them, they did not know how vulnerable they truly were. If they had, maybe they would have turned away from the first man to show them affection.

Pre-Show:

Season 1:

Season 2:

Season 3:

Post-Show:

House MD OC - James Wilson X House's Sibling!Reader

If you were to ask anyone at Princeton–Plainsboro Teaching Hospital how the House siblings ended up working at the same place, then there would rarely be a straight answer. It went without question that it wasn't because Greg had put a good word in. And in the end, maybe it didn't matter how they both got there. All that mattered was that they both stayed there... and didn't end up killing each other.

Pre-Show:

Season 1:

Season 2:

Season 3:

Season 4:

Misdiagnosis [ep. 9]

Season 5:

Season 6:

Season 7:

Season 8:

Post-Show:

The Last of Us OC - Joel Miller X Reader

(Y/n) and Joel had never meant to cross paths. However, when (Y/n) and Tess meet, Tess's protective side rears its head and forces the two together. Ellie's presence pushes Joel and (Y/n) together in a very different way.

Pre-Show:

Season 1:

Changes [Episode 4 & 6]

Those Three Months [Between Episodes 5 & 6]

Something Good [Between Episode 6 & 7]

God’s Plan [Episode 8]

Post-Show:

Shadow & Bone OC - Kaz Brekker X Sun Summoner!Reader

Ketterdam had been the closest thing to home that (Y/n) had known. With that home came the Crows, the closest thing that (Y/n) had ever known to a family. When their secret is exposed in order to protect their family, it's all stolen from them. Now, (Y/n) needs to find a way to tear down the Fold and get home to the people they care about.

Pre-Show:

The Easiest Way to Steal a Man’s Wallet is to Tell Him You’re Going to Steal His Watch

No Saint Ever Watched Over Me

Season 1:

They Tell Each Other Who to Look After and Who to Watch Out For

When They Took Everything from You, You Found a Way to Make Something from Nothing

You're the First Glimmer of Hope I've Had in a Long Time

Season 2:

Stay till the End... And After, And Always

Post-Show:

Supernatural OC - Winchester Brothers & Adopted!Cambion!Reader

The Winchester brothers find themselves caring for a being far more powerful than they had ever known. In a story of about the constant battle between good and evil, the question of nature versus nurture is taken on in the most extreme of examples.

Other Important Original Characters

Pre-Show/Story:

Season 4:

Season 5:

Season 6:

Season 7:

Season 8:

Season 9:

Season 10:

Season 11:

Season 12:

Season 13:

Season 14:

Season 15:

Post-Show:

[natashasfilms]

Chapter Four - Derailed

Summary: FBI agent Leila faces a profound life change after giving birth to a baby girl, supported by her loving husband. Despite the challenges of motherhood, Leila returns to her role as a dedicated agent a few months later, ready to confront gruesome and haunting cases with the BAU team.

Pairing: BAU!Fem!OC x Male!OC , EVENTUAL Aaron Hotchner x BAU!Fem!OC (Like much later)

Warnings: This story contains mature themes such as sexual content, strong language, violence, mentions of alcohol and drugs, blood, gore, and death. All the usual Criminal Minds stuff. And there is NO CHEATING.

Note 1: I imagine Leila Kade as South Asian but I have decided to let you, the reader, imagine her appearance, hence the reason why I have not given her a face claim. However, her race does not affect the story, whatsoever. You, as the reader, are free to imagine her however you want. If you don't see her as South Asian, then that's fine. It won't affect the storyline. I also imagine the OC!Male as South Asian, but again, it won't affect the storyline.

Note 2: The team will consist of the main cast (Emily, Derek, JJ, Spencer, Penelope, Aaron, and Rossi) but will also include Elle Greenaway and Jason Gideon because they were some of my favorite characters and I wanted to include them with the rest of the team. Basically, Elle and Gideon never leave when Emily and Rossi join.

Note 3: There will be multiple time skips throughout this series. For example, the first chapter will begin on the first season and episode of the show but then there will be a time skip to later episodes (because there are obviously way too many episodes to write this series on and I wanted to include specific episodes that would help the plot of this story). This means that this series will be a slow burn romance but I believe it to be better this way. This will also stray from the actual show a lot, so don't expect it to follow the plot precisely.

Series Masterlist

Season 1, Episode 9

Balancing a cup of coffee in her hands, Leila ascended the steps to her office. Her gaze swept across the cubicle, and the absence of Elle's usual seat caught her attention. She knew Elle was on her way to Texas for an interview with a child murderer.

Exhaling heavily, she settled into her chair. The numerous stacks of paperwork on her desk loomed before her, a daunting task she was not looking forward to. She understood that if she didn't start it now, the piles would only continue to increase.

Leila was just on the brink of diving into the topmost file when JJ burst into her office in a hurry. "Conference room, now."

Startled, her eyes widened at the sudden interruption. She quickly rose from her seat, momentarily forgetting about the paperwork spread across her desk. Following JJ's brisk steps, she made her way to the conference room. "Is it serious?" She asked JJ as they walked.

"It's a shooter situation on a train." She responded.

As everyone assembled in the room, except for Gideon, Leila moved over to Aaron's side and leaned in slightly to catch a glimpse of the case file he held. JJ initiated the briefing by explaining the grim situation, where a shooter had taken control of a train, leaving five hostages in peril and a security officer dead.

Projected on the screen was a security tape, capturing the essence of the crisis. Leila focused intently, her brow furrowing as she approached the display, while JJ, Spencer, Derek, and Aaron delved into the details of the case. In the midst of the discussion, Gideon entered the room, and Leila instinctively stood aside to allow him a better view of the footage.

Then, a realization struck Leila like a lightning bolt. "Wait…" Her voice cut through the conversation, and Gideon's sharp intake of breath indicated he had come to the same conclusion. Their eyes remained glued to a specific figure on the screen, their collective attention captured.

"My God!" Gideon's exclamation mirrored Leila's thoughts, confirming they were seeing the same face.

Derek's voice cut through the tension, his curiosity piqued. "What?"

"Elle." Leila and Gideon said in unison, catching everyone's attention as they all took a better look at the footage, noticing the familiar brunette.

They headed to the train's location while discussing the case en route. The unsub had demanded a conversation with a "higher authority," though no religious references had been mentioned. They speculated that he considered them the "higher authority." The deadline he set for this conversation was three hours, but that window had closed two and a half hours ago, leaving them with just thirty minutes to act.

Upon reaching the scene, numerous police cars were already positioned and prepared for action. The team stepped out of the SUV and engaged in discussions with the other law enforcement personnel present. Leila's gaze remained fixed on the train, her heart racing as the realization hit her that her best friend was on board with a murderer.

They entered the mobile command center to review the train's security footage, fully intending to initiate negotiations with the unsub. Abruptly, the situation escalated as the unsub forcibly dragged a woman by her hair to the other side of the train.

Amidst the tension, a ringing phone drew everyone's attention. A collective glance exchanged between them, and Gideon swiftly reached for the receiver, pressing a button to take the call.

"He wants to know who you are. He wants to know who just arrived." The woman's trembling voice conveyed through the phone.

"Tell him it's someone who can help resolve the situation." Gideon replied, his tone composed and deliberate.

Amidst more indistinct murmuring, the woman's voice came through again, strained as the unsub held a gun to her head. "What part of the government do you work for?"

Gideon's response took a different approach. "I never said I was with the government." Leaving Officer Frank Moretti perplexed by their exchange.

Leila seized the opportunity to clarify the strategy to Moretti, muting their microphone while explaining. "The less he says, the more mysterious we seem, the higher an authority we become."

"What part of the... What part of the government?" The woman asked again, her voice breaking as she sobbed. They remained silent, focused on the video feed before them. "Are you FBI?" She pressed, her desperation palpable.

Gideon's response left no room for doubt. "He can ask me himself."

The unsub grabbed the phone, his voice laden with curiosity as he inquired about the identity of the speaker. Gideon remained to the mysterious persona they had orchestrated, responding that the unsub should recognize them. In return, the unsub mysteriously insisted on the removal of "it."

Leila's brow furrowed as she crossed her arms, confused by what the unsub was referring to. Despite her confusion, Gideon adeptly maintained the facade, asserting that the process of removing "it" would take a long time. The unsub then issued a one-hour ultimatum for the removal of "it," or else he would take the lives of every "agent" on the train. With that, he abruptly ended the call, leaving the line dead.

Without knowing what "it" was, they only had one hour to figure it out, before all hell broke loose.

Recognizing that the unsub was in the midst of a psychotic episode, the team worked to uncover common delusions during such episodes. Aaron turned to Reid with this query, to which the young profiler responded that delusions were diverse and influenced by personal experiences.

One of the women held his arm, as if she were indicating something crucial, perhaps the elusive "it" they were supposed to remove. They observed scars on his arm, resembling wounds from razors or pens he had used to extract whatever "it" was supposed to be.

"So he thinks he has an object implanted in his arm, and he wants us to remove it." Leila deduced, grasping the unsub's intentions.

"Probably." Gideon concurred. "And if we don't remove it, he's going to kill somebody."

Derek's phone began to ring, prompting him to step aside to answer the call. The rest of the team remained engrossed in the footage, searching for any potential clues. Elle, unfortunately, remained handcuffed to her seat, her gun confiscated by the unsub, leaving her defenseless.

After ending his call, Derek rejoined the group, catching Gideon's attention. As Gideon inquired about the hostages, Derek relayed information he had just received from Penelope. He worked swiftly on the computer, accessing the files Penelope had sent concerning all the hostages, and proceeded to display the contents for the team to see.

Their current strategy involved creating the illusion of removing a non-existent microchip. They needed a plan that could convince the unsub they were taking out the device while secretly doing nothing of the sort.

"We could fake it." Suggested Spencer during their brainstorming session, causing everyone to turn their attention towards him.

"Seriously, Reid? A magic trick?" Derek exclaimed, leaning back in his chair in disbelief.

"Yes, a magic trick." Spencer affirmed.

Aaron promptly dismissed the idea, saying, "No."

"I used to do it during college exams." Spencer elaborated. "I can make things appear and disappear."

"We can't afford to put another agent in the line of fire." Aaron stated firmly.

"But we need to do something."

Leila interjected with a sigh with an idea that struck her. "Okay, fine. Teach me."

Spencer regarded her with a mix of surprise and disbelief. "What? No."

"If you can do it, then why can't I?" Leila countered, not willing to let Spencer risk his life by boarding the train.

Spencer shook his head, emphasizing the urgency. "I've been practicing this my whole life. We have less than 30 minutes."

Leila, determined to keep Spencer safe, persisted. "Reid, I am not allowing you to get on that train with an armed psychotic." She gestured towards the surveillance cameras, stressing her concern for his safety.

"No." Spencer continued. "Even if you managed to learn it, I can't let you go when you have a young daughter waiting for you at home."

Leila felt frustrated but understood his point. "So, what's the alternative?"

"We don't have one." Gideon interjected, rising from his seat. All eyes turned to him. "We don't have any other choice."

Spencer prepared himself to board the train, all set to execute the plan of faking the removal of the microchip from the unsub's arm. Leila pinched the bridge of her nose in anxiety, watching him gear up with a bulletproof vest. Aaron returned to the mobile command center with a counterfeit microchip, a small piece taken from the inside of a phone. They stepped outside, and as Spencer readied himself one final time, he turned towards the train.

They provided him with last-minute instructions and precautions, going over all possible scenarios. Spencer nodded to show his understanding and readiness. Before leaving, he looked at his colleagues and made a request. "Can you guys do me a favor?"

"Anything." Derek replied.

"Could at least one of you act like you're going to see me again?" Spencer's request, which would typically be lighthearted, held weight in the current situation.

"See you when you get back." Aaron reassured him, a hint of nervous laughter in Spencer's response. With that, Spencer turned and began his approach to the train. The team watched him walk away, leaving Leila shaking her head in disbelief.

"I can't believe we're letting him do this." She muttered, rubbing her temples in frustration. "I'm a quick learner, I could've gone."

Derek turned to her, offering support. "Spencer's right. If something were to go wrong, you'd be leaving Jasmine and Zaid behind."

Leila's gaze remained fixed on Spencer's form. "He's too young."

"He's also incredibly capable. He'll go in and come out before you know it." Derek reassured her.

"I don't doubt that." Leila said, knowing Spencer was very capable.

The SWAT team maintained their poised stances, guns ready in case they needed to take action. Back in the mobile command center, the team scrutinized the live footage, their eyes fixed on Spencer's every move as he boarded the train. Once on board, he deftly removed his bulletproof vest, possibly in response to the unsub's demands.

"Damn it, Reid, I told you not to remove the vest." Derek's frustration was palpable as he spoke, his lips tense.

Leila's heart pounded in her chest as she watched intently, running a hand down her face in anticipation. As they observed, Spencer artfully mimicked retrieving a device from his arm, executing his magic trick to perfection. It looked as though he was making his exit when the unsub compelled him to remain seated, causing Leila's brows to furrow in concern. Unable to hear the conversation, they became alarmed when Spencer was forced to sit down once more.

"Get off the train, Reid." Gideon murmured with urgency.

Leila's head shook. "The unsub said something to him. Something's wrong."

Trying to calm down the unsub, Spencer and Elle's efforts to sway the unsub's thoughts seemed apparent. Spencer struggled to stand again, only to be forced back into his seat.

"All right, it seems calm for now." JJ said, attempting to provide reassurance.

"Reid's still on the train." Gideon said. "Now we have two agents in there." Making a quick decision, Gideon dialed the phone on the train, waiting for the unsub to respond. However, the unsub remained motionless, ignoring the call.

One of the hostages, a young man of twenty, stood up, engaging in conversation. Leila sensed the tension building, fearing that this interaction could escalate dangerously. Suddenly, the unsub rose to his feet, raising his weapon and firing a shot. The doctor held her abdomen in the place he shot, and fell to the ground.

She fell into the arms of the young man, while other hostages rushed to her side. The unsub then walked over to where the phone lay, picking it up. Gideon engaged him in conversation, and the unsub kept repeating that "it all ends today."

The unsub put down the phone again and JJ asked them what that meant.

"It means he's decided on an endgame." Aaron explained.

"He's going to kill himself and the hostages." Gideon added.

They called the unsub once again but the unsub pointed his gun at it, firing a bullet into it.

"Let me know when HRT's ready." Gideon told Leila and Aaron, and the two quickly left the command center. The SWAT team still had their firearms raised while Leila and Aaron ensured that all preparations were in place, knowing that they might have to take action soon. The tension was palpable, and Leila's thoughts were focused on the safety of the hostages, Elle, and Spencer. Suddenly, a gunshot echoed from within the train, causing Leila's eyes to widen. Her heart raced as she anxiously waited for news, watching Gideon rush onto the train.

Eventually, the passengers began emerging from the train. It came to light that one of the hostages had managed to shoot the unsub, although he was still alive. Thankfully, the psychiatrist had also survived, though she was unconscious due to the loss of blood.

Leila walked over to Elle and Spencer, embracing them both tightly. "I'm so glad you're both alright." She said, her voice filled with genuine concern. Then, she directed her attention to Elle. "You really should get checked out, just to be sure."

Elle shook her head adamantly. "No, I'm perfectly fine." Leila shot her a stern look, clearly not convinced. "I'm really okay, Leila!"

"Go." Leila commanded, her tone firm, before turning away so she wouldn't have to listen to Elle's complaints.

After their return to the BAU, everyone began gathering their belongings, ready to head home. Derek accompanied the psychiatrist to the hospital, and Elle needed to get herself checked in due to the ordeal she had endured as a hostage. The day had been incredibly stressful, especially for Elle, who had been held captive throughout.

Leila observed her colleagues leaving and then stepped out of her own office, only to notice Aaron still immersed in paperwork in his office. Without hesitation, she knocked on his door, and he welcomed her inside. Leila entered briskly, a concerned expression on her face.

"Aren't you heading home?" She inquired, observing the piles of paperwork on his desk. Her thoughts turned to her own unfinished paperwork, which she had packed into her bag with the intention of working on it at home.

"I wanted to wrap up a few of these files before I leave." Aaron explained, gesturing to the papers scattered before him.

Leila furrowed her brow and crossed her arms. "Why not take them home and work there? Haley and Jack probably miss you. Instead of staying here alone to work, why not spend quality time with your family and finish your work there?"

Aaron contemplated her words for a moment. "You're right. I thought if I could finish these now, I'd have more focused time to spare for them."

Leila chuckled lightly. "Our work keeps us busy, Aaron. We don't always get those opportunities. So it's better to spend the time you have with your family than to try to accomplish everything at once and risk missing those moments."

He began gathering his papers, neatly placing them in his bag. Once ready, he slung the bag over his shoulder and joined Leila as they walked toward their cars. They chatted casually along the way.

"Alright, goodnight, Leila." Aaron said, waving farewell.

"Goodnight." Leila replied, a warm smile on her face as she got into her car. As she started the engine, a sense of anticipation filled her. Finally, she was heading home to her two most favorite people in the world. She longed to see her husband and daughter, the ache of their absence had been deeply felt throughout the day.

It was true that she would do absolutely anything for her family.

[mrs-weasley-reid]

YOU'RE TOO SWEET FOR ME

(young) Aaron Hotchner x bau!reader

Sypnosis: Opposites attract, but Aaron reasons that it doesn't mean the magnets should connect. Just because he's in love with you doesn't mean he has to admit it. WARNING: Angst. A/N: inspired by the song Too Sweet by Hozier

From the moment Aaron Hotchner met you, he knew you'd be the death of him.

Your bright aura. Your friendly personality. Your witty jokes. Your everything. You.

He would be lying if he said he wasn't drawn to you like everybody else. In fact, he was probably one of the willing victims of your sweetness.

The two of you joined the academy at the same time. Compared to Aaron, you were the one he would call a magnet. You had everyone attracted to you like a moth to a flame, and all you had to do was smile.

Finding out that you both got a position at the Behavioral Analysis Unit gave him such a euphoric daze. Aaron thought he was just happy that he got the job he wanted. But if he had to admit, seeing you was one of the reasons that it felt right.

"Good morning, Hotch!" You came in like the morning sun, filled with energy and blinding light. You slumped on your swivel chair with a chuckle, "Y'know, smiling a little bit won't kill you. How are we supposed to recruit more people to the team if you're frowning all the time?" You coaxed with a playful grin, easing onto your desk that sat across from him.

You were the first person to ever call him Hotch, getting the idea on accident over a cup of coffee. You were in the middle of bringing his mug in the name of being a kind teammate when you rattled on a simple, "Be careful, it's hotch!" followed by bursting out of laughter after the innocent mistake.

And since then, you couldn't call him anything else. Aaron wasn't thinking of correcting you anytime soon. After all, you two have been working together for the past five years, contributing to the continuous development of the BAU.

One other thing...

Aaron Hotchner has been in love with you for years, and kept it buried in the deepest corner of his heart.

Why?

He thought of many things.

First, your coffee order. He took his coffee straight black. The bitterness kept him awake enough to function. You, however, had some step-by-step concoction that kept you insanely energized for the day.

Second, your bedtime. He stays up as late as he could. The silence brought him peace as he listened to his pen scribble on his action report. You, however, slept as early as eight in the evening or as soon as you were allowed.

Aaron wouldn't hesitate to say more, but it'd take him an eternity.

He knew so much about you that someone might render him a creep had he mentioned it to anyone else but himself.

Because one thing Aaron Hotchner knew well was you.

And he knew you'd change in an instant if someone asked you to.

Aaron couldn't possibly have you do such a horrible thing.

The world needed your brightness. Aaron convinced himself that the world needed you more than he could ever do.

You were too good for him, too sweet.

So, why ruin the incredible person you are?

His love for you could be treated with constant denial, but whatever damage he could do to your bright spark would be a crime.

Loving you was a crime.

"I got it!" You erupted in the bullpen, jumping like a three-year-old child. Your vision caught Aaron, who had just walked in. You snatched him into a tight hug as you continued to bounce on your feet.

Aaron couldn't stop his lips from curving, melting into a puddle as he felt your arms wrap around him. His body stood frozen, but his heart was beating so loud he was afraid you could hear it.

Jason Gideon came out of his office to see the commotion, David Rossi right behind him. The two founding fathers of the unit curiously wondered what may have made them stop in the middle of a chess game.

"What's the jumping for?" David had his eyebrows knitted but was enjoying the way you celebrated with joy.

Another reason why Aaron couldn't possibly admit his feelings for you. You were contagious. Your glee always affected everyone, influencing an individual with the tiniest sound of your giggles.

You retracted away from Aaron, facing David. "I got the position in Interpol!" You exclaimed with pride, gasping for air after your prior actions.

Jason and David raised their eyebrows, accordingly giving you a congratulatory embrace. You felt their happiness for you in every bone they had almost crushed. Still, you paid no mind. The news made you feel elated, fueling you with a sense of fulfillment.

"It'd be different to not have you here, but I'm proud of you. Interpol would be glad to have you." Jason remarked with a satisfying nod. "You ready to move to Washington?"

"Even better," You bit your lower lip from excitement, "I'm going to France!" You clasped your mouth with both your hands, containing your squeals behind it.

Aaron heard his entire heart shatter into pieces as your triumph echoed on the walls of the bullpen. Everything became a blur and muffled.

Years of keeping his feelings a secret was no easy task, but at least he got to see your sweet smile each day. He couldn't imagine his life without listening to your random fits of laughter.

How was he going to survive a day without your daily reminder that he was human and not some poker-faced mannequin?

Who would complain about his bitter taste for coffee?

Where would he look when he needed a source of hope in the form of a warm smile?

What would he do without you in his life..?

But you just looked so proud, so excited, so... happy.

So, Aaron Hotchner put up a brave face and soft smile, "Congratulations."

[dd122004dd]

Tears & Tea

Jason Gideon x reader fic dad scenario for our friend @genderfluidsanta

Warnings: Child abuse, dark emotions, negative emotions, flash-backs, physical abuse

~

It was another night filled with terror. Her nightmares were acting up again, they were far worse than any terror she had had before. She saw it again, him charging at her, eyes wide with rage. Her breath quickened as she found herself back in the claws of the cage within which she was once caught. 

The cage of his rage laden with the torment of her childhood. His malicious grin as he struck those she held dear to her. 

He got closer, rushing towards her at a quick pace. She felt her heart racing in her chest, her lungs burning, crying for oxygen yet unable to get any. Tears streamed down her face as she called desperately for help.

Her limbs flailed against him yet he gripped them in his hands, screaming curses at her. She could feel herself slowly blacking out when suddenly she was jarred awake.

The sensation of cold water on her face startled her but she didn’t have long to think about it before inhaling deeply, desperate to get air in her lungs. Clutching at her bed-sheets she looked up, noticing he was there, her adoptive father, Jason Gideon. The man who had rescued her from her father, the man who she now called ‘dad’.

He stood near her bed with wide eyes, an empty glass of water in his hand. His presence greatly comforted her. She quickly reached out, hugging him, unwilling to let him go, afraid of succumbing to her nightmares once more. She inhaled his comforting scent of cinnamon and his favorite perfume.

“Please don’t leave me,” she whispered, her voice muffled against him as he gently stroked her back in an effort to calm her down. Though she shivered with fear, she refused to let go.

“Shhh. Everything will be okay. How about this, we can have some tea and if you’re up to it we can either talk or not. Then we’ll watch some of those adorable pet videos that you like in my bedroom till you fall asleep,” he said softly, trying not to spook her.

Her arms tightened around him at the mention of sleeping. Understanding her fear, he comforted her, saying, “It’ll be okay. I’ll be there to watch over you. If you get another nightmare I’ll wake you up gain.”

Slowly thinking about what she wanted to do she slowly nodded her head.

He lead her to the kitchen. She watched him prepare her favorite tea, finding his routine actions calming as the soft sounds him moving around in the kitchen filled the air.

Bringing two steaming mugs out of the little kitchen he gently placed one in front of her and sat down next to her.

He told her stories about how his day went until she was relaxed. She didn’t feel like talking, unwilling to re-live the events of the nightmare that seemed too realistic to be a dream.

After their tea was finished, he put the cups away before taking her to his bedroom. His bed was big enough for the both of them.

She nestled herself within his sheets, inhaling his comforting smell.

He laid against the headrest, her head placed on his chest as they watched pet videos on his laptop.

After a few hours, he felt her breathing slowed and her body slumped. Slowly closing the computer and placing it on his bedside table, he wrapped his arms around his daughter, pulling her closer.

He kissed her forehead, whispering a soft ‘good night’, praying to whoever was listening that she’d have a peaceful night.

[uncpanda]

The Ties that Bind: Memoriam

AN: This takes place during the season 4 episode memoriam. This is by far, one of my favorite chapters I’ve written for this series! 

Warnings: Mentions Parentifcation, pedophilia that was mentioned in the episdoe in Memoriam, a mental breakdown, and mentions of nudity. Nothing is graphic or explicit except maybe the breakdown.  

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x fem!reader 

You hold your phone to your ear and wait for the recipient to answer. Your heart is in your throat, your stomach is turning, and you can feel the headache coming on. The ringing cuts off suddenly, “Hotchner.” 

“Please. Please tell me that you did not leave my baby brother in Las Vegas, chasing a case that is nearly as old as he is.” 

There’s a moment of silence, “One second.” You hear a chair scrape, and then a door closes. “You talked with Reid?” 

“Yes. He called to inform me that he thinks William is a pedophile and child killer.” 

“You don’t think that’s true?” 

You shake your head even though you know he can’t see it. “I know it isn’t. Look. William had a lot of faults. A lot. He was passive and then he was angry. One minute I was his daughter and the next I was a burden. But he loved Spencer. He loved kids. I have this vague memory of him talking with my mother about the next time she was pregnant and she just screamed it wasn’t happening again. And his face fell.” 

There’s a pause, “That could be. . .” 

“No it couldn’t. It wasn’t the same. He never made an inappropriate move towards a kid. And he never touched Spencer. From the time he was two till he was ten, Spencer slept in my room. It’s where he felt safe.” you run a hand over your face. 

“Do you remember Riley or anyone . . .” 

You take a deep breath. There are flashes of Spencer in the park, playing chess. “Maybe?”

“Okay. Stay there. I’m on my way. We can do a cognitive interview, and maybe get them some answers.” 

“No. If Spencer wants to do this, and he told me rather loudly that he did, then let him. He’s a grown man.” Your voice sounds meek to your own ears. It’s very unlike you. But you can’t do this. You’d put William and Diana behind you. You had done their job for them. You had protected Spencer. You hang up, and a fit of rage fills you. It takes everything you have to not toss your phone into a wall. You place it on the couch and grab a book before hurling it at the wall. It makes a nice sound. You pace the apartment. And when that doesn’t help calm you down, you grab your car keys and head out. 

The drive isn’t overly familiar. You’ve made it a few times, and there’s a chance he won’t even be home. You breathe a sigh of relief when you see his car in the driveway and the lights on in the cabin. You climb out of the car, and before you’ve taken two steps the door is open. 

Gideon is looking at you curiously. “Hey.” You get a small smile. 

You don’t return it. Instead, tears burn your eyes. The smile slips aways and he takes the steps forward to meet you. You throw yourself into his arms, and he hugs you tight. Your friendship with Jason is hard to define. If you had to define it, you’d say he was as close to a father figure as you could get. 

He ushers you inside and sits you down on his couch before taking his arm chair. He doesn’t prod you, he just waits. You’re pretty sure it’s the retired profiler in him. You quickly explain the situation Spencer has gotten himself into and Gideon listens without interruption. 

When you’re done you wait for some sort of wisdom. “You’re scared.” 

“I’m scared? That’s the best you’ve got.” 

He chuckles, “You’re scared of a lot. You’re scared you missed something as a ten year old child and your brother might have gotten hurt. You’re worried your mother is going to find a way to affect your brother’s reasoning. You’re scared about how Spencer’s confrontation with William is going to go. And you’re terrified at the thought of things going well, and the three of them being a family with you on the outside.” 

The tears well again, because he’s right. You hate it when he’s right. “Now you’ve got two options. You can wait for him to call and tell you what he finds out. Or we can do a cognitive interview. We can try and go back to that time.” 

You sigh. “Let’s do it.” 

He takes your hand, and gives you instructions to close your eyes, even your breathing, 

and  focus on an element of that time. You focus on the heat. It’s a dry heat but still brutal. It comes back, “RIley and Spencer were friends. He was one of the only kids who didn’t mind that Spencer was different. Riley was his opposite though. He smiled and laughed and he liked what William called normal kids stuff. I used to watch them at the park.” 

“Were you babysitting?” 

“No. I had friends of my own. I’d make them go to the park so I could still keep an eye on Spencer. He liked to play chess. He would beat the adults. I was afraid they might get mad at him. William would get mad at stuff like that.” 

“Focus on the chess. Did anyone seem inappropriate.” 

Your thoughts go a little blurry, but then they focus, “Mr. Michaels, from down the street. Most of the people who played against Spencer were grandparents. Or they had kids. He didn't. He'd offer Spencer candy, but he knew better than to take it. I made sure of that. My stomach felt queasy around him.” 

Gideon’s voice is soothing, “Those were your instincts. They were telling you he was trouble. Did you get Spencer away?” 

“Yeah. He was confused. He didn’t think it was nice that I didn’t like Mr. Michaels.” You open your eyes, “He disappeared right after Riley was murdered.” 

Gideon leans back, “Do you remember his first name?” 

“No. Everyone was Mr. or Mrs. because that’s what was polite. William made sure of that. Mom, not so much.” 

“Call your brother. Let him know.” 

You take your phone out hesitantly. You hadn’t been kidding when you said Spencer had been loud earlier. He’d been aggravated. And a little mean. You half expect him not to answer. 

But he does, “Hello.” 

You sigh, and Spencer calls your name, “Mr. Michaels from down the street. He used to play chess with you in the park. He liked to offer you candy. You never took it. He had no children, but he liked to be around you and the other kids.” 

There’s silence before Spencer says, “You led me away from him. I remember. I thought it was rude, I thought you’d be mad.” 

Your brow furrows, “Why would I be mad?” 

“I was talking to dad.” 

Your breath hitches in your throat. Faintly, you hear over the line, “Is that your sister? Can I talk to her?” 

“Um. . .” 

“No.” You answer firmly, “No Spencer. This is a boundary I’m setting. Respect it. Please.” 

Your brother’s answer is blunt, “She doesn’t want to talk to you.” You hear movement on the other side, and then things are much more quiet. “It’s just me.” 

You let out a sigh of relief, “Thanks.” 

“So it wasn’t dad.” 

“Told you so.” 

“I still have to figure out what happened to Mr. Michaels.” 

You screw your eyes shut, “No. You don’t. Just leave it alone, and come home. Please.” 

His voice is repentant this time, “I can’t. I need to figure this out. Mom stopped her meds in an effort to remember.” 

“Fuck. Spencer, it took the doctors and me three days to get her on the meds. It took even longer for her to realize they were a good thing. . .” 

“She’s doing good, sis. She wants to help. I know she’s a taboo topic for you, but . . .” 

“She’s not taboo Spencer. She’s never been taboo.” 

“Really, then what about when you said to stop talking to her about you? What was that?” 

You stand and start pacing the room. You can feel Gideon’s eyes on you. “That was in regards to getting my hopes up. It was me having to stop thinking that she might actually want to see me and have a relationship, because each time she turned me away it made me feel less than dirt. I’m fine talking about mom, I’m not okay with being tossed to the side.” You can feel the tears coming. The inadequacies, the hurt that you do an excellent job compartmentalizing and hiding are coming to the surface. “I’ve got to go. I love you.” 

You hang up before he can say anything. This time you don’t resist the urge, you hurl the flip phone into the wall. You take immense satisfaction in how it breaks. It may even be as broken as you. And with that you drop to your knees. The impact is hard, and stings, and you know they’ll be bruised the next day. The sobs tear through you, and suddenly you’re pulled into a chest. 

Gideon’s arms are locked around you. You feel him press a kiss to your hairline as you wail and scream and cry. He doesn’t say anything until the more extreme emotions are gone and you bury your face in his chest. You briefly wonder if this is what it’s like to have a good father? To have someone stand by you, and care about you, and try to make things better, and when they can’t just be there? You should have had this. It shouldn’t have all been on you. 

Gideon seems to think the same thing, “You did so good.” There’s emotion in his voice. Unshed tears maybe? “You are so strong. You did everything you could. You kept him safe. You kept yourself safe. You kept your mother safe. I am so proud of what you did. You raised a young man who saves lives, and you turned yourself into an amazing woman. You did good.” 

You stay like that for a while. Every once in a while he’ll rock you back and forth. When your tears are dried up, you go ahead and try and pull away. Gideon doesn’t let you. “A few more seconds.” You give him that. 

When those seconds are over you pull back and look at him, “You just did more for me than William or Diana ever did.” 

He smiles, “According to my son, Stephen, I’m getting a lot better at this whole parenting thing.” 

You smile at that, “How’d the trip to Yosemite go? Just the two of you for two weeks camping, right?” He’d told you about the plan to go the last time you two had had coffee. 

It’s a complete dismissal of the breakdown you’d just had. It’s a safe change in topic, and it allows you time to dissociate, regroup, and compartmentalize. You talk for about an hour before you stand and head home. 

Gideon is hesitant to let you drive, but you reassure him you don’t have any tears left. All you want right now is to go home and have some wine and maybe a bubble bath. He gives you strict orders to drive safe. You give him a hug and promise to do so. 

You feel a bit lighter on the drive home. And once you step into your hallway you pause at who you see there. “Aaron.” 

He’s still dressed in his full suit, but he’s sitting on the very dirty floor of your hallway with a book and his go bag next to him. He takes one look at you, pushes off the floor, takes three long strides, and gathers you in his arms. You cling to him. 

“I was literally on my way out of the office to come here when JJ went into labor. And then you weren't here, and I talked myself into waiting an hour before calling in a search party. Where the hell have you been?” 

“I went for a drive.” Your response is muffled by his shoulder. But he still understands. You pull away after another minute, and unlock the door. 

He follows you in and makes sure to close and lock the door. “I tried calling your cell.” 

You head to the kitchen and get out a bottle of wine. You pour a glass for you and a 

glass for him.  “I broke it. I’ll get a new one tomorrow.” You hand him his glass and proceed to down yours. He only has the one, which he sips over several hours, while you go through two bottles. It’s enough to leave you a drunken mess. 

Aaron doesn’t mind. He holds you when the tears and confessions start. The stories about Diana and William flow free. He’s the first and only person you've ever told these things to. Not even Spencer knows. At some point the night goes black. 

You wake up the next morning to a phone ringing and you groan. Hangovers last all day now that you’re not in your twenties, and you have the mother of all hangovers. Your entire being just hurts. 

You search for you phone but you can’t find it. That’s when you realize you’re in your bed, still in your clothes from the previous day, but someone is in your bathroom. You stare at the door, and then it opens. Your eyes go wide, and your mouth goes dry, as Aaron steps through the doorway in only a towel. And DEAR LORD. 

Aaron is all lean muscle. He isn’t as defined as you think Morgan would be, but still! There’s a smattering of hair on his chest and a nice little trail that leads to what’s under the towel. You feel your cheeks heat up. Then you catch sight of the water still dripping down his body, and how his hair is damp and a little more floppy than usual. A bit of it falls into his eyes. 

He shoots you a small smile before going to the nightstand on the opposite side of the bed, and picking up his phone. He clicks the answer button, and answers, “Hotchner.” 

He listens briefly and smiles, “That’s good to hear. I’ll let the rest of the team know.” Then he hangs up, and turns to face you, as though he’s not wearing just a towel. “JJ had the baby, and they’re both okay.” 

You answer on auto pilot, “That’s good.” 

“How are you feeling?” 

“Like I went to a frat party.” 

“Mixing wine and tequila can do that to a person.” 

You had mixed your  drinks? That explained the drumline going on in your skull. “Thank you for staying.” 

“Nothing to thank me for. I’m sorry I couldn’t do more.” 

You roll on the bed so that you’re just a tad closer to him, and take his hand. He laces his fingers with yours, and you smile, “You’re a good friend Aaron.” 

He squeezes your hand, “I’d do anything for you, Don’t forget that.” And as you stare into his eyes, you know he’s speaking nothing but the truth, and you’re so grateful to have that. “Back at you. Now, how about you put on some clothes so I don’t feel like I’m at Chippendales.” 

You expect a blush, instead you get a smirk, “See something you like?” 

Bastard. He’s entirely too confident. You roll away from him and off the bed, “Get dressed or you won’t get any of the donuts I’m ordering.” You just get a laugh in return, and you can’t help but think that today is already looking much brighter than yesterday. Then again, how could it not, with a nearly naked Aaron Hotchner in your apartment? 

[hyperfixatedoncrimminalminds]

Hi, if you're taking requests at the moment maybe a child reader x Spencer or Gideon?? Plot could be literally anything I could just do with some comfort

Jason Gideon X Victim child reader

Request from Tumblr

Request: Hi, if you're taking requests at the moment maybe a child reader x Spencer or Gideon?? Plot could be literally anything I could just do with some comfort

Of course I just realised I haven't done one for Gideon yet so here it is.

Summary: Y/N is one of the victims of the unsub the FBI are looking for, but luckily Y/N manages to escape and runs to the police and helps the FBI.

Y/N is 10 here.

Third person pov...

Y/N doesn't know how long she has been missing for but she knows it's been long time, Her life was amazing until she was kidnapped by a crazy woman in her own home.

The 10 year old remembers it very well.

Flashback...

It was 4.pm on the dot when Y/N got home from school, for the last couple days the town had been on a curfew as there is a serial killer running around kidnapping and killing children.

The FBI was called in but they still haven't caught the Unsub, the parents were worried for their children especially Y/Ns as she fit the Killers type to kidnap and kill.

Y/N shrugs off her school bag and leaves it bye the door, both her parents shoes were there so they were also home. "Mummy Daddy I'm home!" She exclaimed taking off her shoes and running through the hall.

She pokes her head into the living room where her Daddy was usually sitting reading the news paper when he comes home from work, but to her surprise and confusion he wasn't there. "Daddy?" She yelled getting no response from the empty room.

A frown on her face the little girl makes her way to the kitchen where her Mummy was usually finishing off work, "Mummy?" She yelled hoping her Mum was home, when she walked in it was empty apart from a laptop on the table and a cup of tea. Y/N touches the cup and hisses in pain. "It's still warm" she mumbled before looking around the table.

Something then caught her eye, on the floor there was a puddle of blood. Y/N gasps before sprinting upstairs to her parents bedroom hoping nothing had happened.

"First the empty rooms, then the pool of blood and stuff being left, this points to the Unsubs MO the FBI were talking about on the news" mutters Y/N, she was going over the MO that the Serial killer was using, the only thing she hadn't seen were her parents 'sleeping together in a bed'

Silently the little girl tiptoes in the hall and over to her parents room, thr door was open silently, the H/C child puts her hand on the door nob and breathes out and closes her eyes before pushing the door open.

She stepped in and slowly opened her eyes, E/C eyes widened in horror, and her mouth opens in a silent scream. Y/Ns hand slipped from the door as she saw the scene in front off her.

Her Mum and Dad lay side by side on the bed, from a distance they looked peaceful as if they were sleeping, but from the blood covering them, they weren't 'sleeping' Y/N goes to scream by her mouth is covered from behind she struggles before the person holds her mouth and neck tightly.

This makes her still, the personholding her then turned the 10 year old around, Y/N took in all her features, she would get out of it alive. The Unsub was a woman, she had long messy brown hair, sad blue eyes, and a horrible scar dow  one side of her face.

"Your not going anywhere Sweetie, Auntie Annie is here" she sings as Y/N is dragged out of her house ans into a car, the world then goes black.

End of Flash back...

Y/N shivers as she remembers, sniffling the 10 year old looks around the dark basement she was in, it wasn't too small and wasn't to big either, she wasn't even tied up, the woman just left her in there with food and a bottle of water.

There were blankets and pillows on the floor with stains on, they must be for the Victims before Y/N, as the 10 year old looks for a way to escape she notices something, it was some words scratched into a wall next to a mountain of random stuff.

Leaning closer Y/N manages to read them. "To whom finds this, I Samantha grey (Victim #1) have started to stack up empty boxes to climb up to the small window above" read Y/N the 10 year old then looks up, a smile works a way on her face.

It was a mountain off boxes and other things found in the basement and above it was a small Window that Y/N was small enough to fit through. There were a couple more messages scratched in above Samantha's one.

There were three others, all from the Woman's victims from before Y/N the 10 year old closes her eyes thanking them all for thinking ahead and creating a way for her to escape. "Thank you" she whispers before looking at the locked door hoping the Woamn won't come check up on her.

The other victims lasted 4 days before there bodies were found, Y/N had been gone for two days by now which gave her two days left to live and try to escape.

First thing she did was climb the huge mountain to see if she had to add more to get to thr window, thankfully she wasn't far from it, all she had to do was add a couple more boxes and she was free.

For the next hours Y/N spent it climbing and putting boxes on top of each other, huffing and puffing the 10 year old worked hard she wanted to live.

Soon the last box was put down. "It's now or never" she whispers wiping the sweat from her forehead, the mountain on boxes loom over the 10 year old as she climbs.

Before Y/N knows it she shoving and banging on thr window, with a pop in opened Y/N keep her celebration quiet she was so close.

The 10 year old crawls out of the window, she looks around she was in a field, but was still in her home town, She gets a good look of the land before running, she had a long while to go before she could tell the police.

Time skip...

By the time Y/N made it to the police station it was night, thanfully the FBI and police were still working, the 10 year old sneaks into the building, and runs around as she did she runs right into someones leg, the girl falls on the floor with a bang, she looks up and sees its one of the FBI members.

The man looks down at the child he knocked over, surprisingly the girl jumps back up, she was covered in dirt and what look like blood. "I know where the Unsub is!" she exclaimed making everyone look over, Gideon then brings Y/N into a room with the team.

JJ sits with her, she smiles at the child. "Now we need to know everthing that you can remeber okay honey" sayd JJ making Y/N nod. for the next couple minutes Y/N tells her story, by the end she is crying now on being able to mourn the loss of her parents. The team is surprised at how much Y/N could tell them.

As they get ready for the raid Gideon surprises everyone by staying with Y/N. "shes just  a little kid Hotch no parents" he says to the man, Hotch nods his head and leaves Gideon with Y/N. The 10 year old is crying and shaking when Gideon kneels infront of her. 

"She killed them both" she sobs, Gideon pats her shoulder before the young girl jumps into his arms needing comfort and Gideon lets her, the two sit there until the others get back, Gideon pats her back and gives the 10  year old the comfort she needs after an ordeal like that.

the end!

hope you liked this one shot, as always so sorry for the spelling and grammar mistakes.

Request are open!

word count: 1340

[choosing-criminalminds]

One More Time

Summary: Their love was years and years in the making, and even when prison quickly builds back up the walls they worked so hard to break down, Spencer learns just how strong the foundation of their trust is.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!BAU!reader(ish) -> told mostly in the 3rd person, from Spencer’s POV

Category: angst (?)

Warnings: mentions of character death (Maeve, Gideon), mentions of blood (Maeve’s death), slight panic/anxiety, language -> let me know if there are any more to add!

Also, un-beta’d, we die like the trash we are.

Length: 5.6k

A/N: Okay yeah so first post. So…this turned out much longer than expected? This is for Ellie’s ( @spenciebabie ) writing contest/celebration and goodness I’m so nervous because I’ve barely written, much less posted, anything in years. Anyway, I guss I decided to challenge myself to write this? I hope you guys like it?

Also, if anyone wants a new friend, please hit me up because I’m too shy to say hello myself.

Prompt was: “Why don’t you make me?”

-*-*-*-

“Trust has to be earned, and should come only after the passage of time.”

—Arthur Ashe

-*-*-*-

For all his genius, Spencer didn’t know what to make of the fact that he found himself inexplicably drawn to her.

It wasn’t until years down the line that he realized he had been exceptionally aware of her since they met, carefully observing, cataloguing the way she so gently and kindly defied every expectation and pushed past every preconceived notion he had of her. By then, she had already settled in a little corner of his heart and helped seal the cracks in his life that he didn’t even know existed.

But when she first joined the team as an intern, he was more than a little reluctant to get to know her. It was during the summer between her college graduation and the start of her graduate studies, and she seemed too worldly, too perfect. She wasn’t like the girls from high school, or even college, for that matter, who were simply mean. On the contrary, she was wonderfully polite and incredibly ambitious, intelligent, and very much the type of girl that was far too out of his league, one that wouldn’t spare him a second glance before continuing down whatever focused path she was on.

That’s why he planned to avoid her as much as possible her first day in the office. She had, thankfully, spent the morning in Hotch’s office, since he was her official supervisor, but when he saw them about to emerge right before lunch, he panicked, muttered a random excuse, and shuffled out of the bullpen, leaving a bemused Derek and Elle in his wake.

It didn’t help that he was ducking out of rooms while JJ was giving her a quick tour and making introductions, and almost every member of the team had cornered him, encouraging him to talk to her, to befriend her due to their closeness in age. (“She’s only what? Two-ish years younger than you?” When he mumbled that exact date, Penelope had broken into a large, wicked grin, poking him teasingly in the cheek. Gratefully, she held back any further comment.)

Spencer had blinked, a little surprised, when Penelope Garcia, who generally disliked change, had only good things to say. Remarkably humble about her achievements, and not in the standoffish fake way, Penelope commented after admitting she had run a background check on her. Genuine, and quite sweet.

Polite, Derek had said, if a little quiet, trying to see where she fits in the team dynamic. You should reach out, be a friend, he suggested.(Spencer ignored the very pretty slipped somewhere in the comment, as well as the knowing smile shot his direction when he felt his cheeks flushing.)

A surprisingly wicked sense of humor, was all Elle said with a sly smile. (Spencer chose to ignore that too.)

And when Spencer tentatively asked the man, Jason Gideon, a man of generally few words, had spoken of her, however briefly, with surprising fondness, because of course Gideon had met her when she was a child, because of course her uncle now headed legal three floors up, and of course her uncle was the last third of the BAU’s Holy Trinity, of which Gideon and Rossi were a part of.

You’ll get along very nicely.

Spencer was incredibly intimidated, to say the least.

And then when he couldn’t avoid her anymore (because of course they were desked next to each other), all it took for her was noticeably catching herself from extending a hand, then offering a small little wave and a nervous smile to leave him breathless. (He pointedly ignored the look knowing look JJ shot him.)

He tried to stifle the little seed of hope—that she definitely wasn’t interested in him, and her saccharine smile was nothing more than a false front to make a positive impression during a lucrative FBI internship meant only to bolster her resume—but the resolve crumbled quickly. She turned out to be so genuinely kind and sweetly humble that Spencer cursed the fact that the internship lasted only through that summer.

It also certainly didn’t help, either, that the very first thought he had when meeting her was a single word.

Pretty.

-*-*-*-

It was almost ridiculous how well she got along with everyone in the office.

She clearly made it a mission to make the most of the time she had and was more than willing to put in the work and prove her worth. Although she was technically Hotch’s intern and her main role was to assist the core field team, Spencer watched as she managed to get on absolutely everyone’s good graces through a combination of unassuming charm, sharp wit, and willingness to learn and to help that was so uniquely her.

For Spencer, it meant that she happily listened to what he had to say, encouraging him to continue when appropriate or saving a quiet question for later when it wasn’t. When she told him that she enjoyed listening to him talk, Spencer was taken aback, stuttering as he tried to figure out if she was only saying that to be polite. She gave him a gracious smile, ensured that she “quite honestly enjoyed” listening to him, and proceeded to ask a few well-timed and well-pointed questions to smoothly nudge him back to their previous topic.

Spencer stared at her, slack-jawed, then smiled bashfully, and allowed himself to hope.

(He definitely didn’t know what to do with the fact that when she knowingly reached out to his hand resting on the table and lightly tapped the back of his hand, he didn’t have his typical knee-jerk desire to pull away. He also mostly certainly didn’t know what to do with the fact that when her thumb grazed over his knuckles to sooth the tension he didn’t even realize he had, he felt an inexplicable calm ease into his very bones.)

-*-*-*-

“It’ll take a good five, six years to finish my J.D./Ph.D., but Hotch offered me an open invitation to join the team when I do, and I’m more than inclined to take his offer when the time comes.”

Spencer peered at her, breathing out a sigh of relief that he didn’t realize he was holding. It was the last day of her internship, and she was making the rounds to say her thank you’s and goodbyes individually to the members of the team. He was the last one, and he had been dreading the conversation the entire day.

While he wouldn’t describe what he felt for her as anything beyond a genuine, platonic friendship—in the grand scheme of things, they’d only known each other for ten weeks—their easy companionship had become very dear to him. And he was terrified and nervous that her time with the BAU would be just a small chapter in her life before she moved on to the bigger and better things, leaving him behind as a fond but distant memory.

She laughed softly at his surprise, before it trailed off into a sigh. She then took a deep breath and asked. “Do you trust me?” Spencer looked at her, a bit dumbfounded. Did he trust her? Her gaze was heavy on him and the question weighty, a gentle demand for an honest answer. Did he trust her? Yes, he did, he supposed, they were friends. Right? He breathed in deeply, squared his shoulders just a bit, and answered in the affirmative.

As if she sensed his hesitance, his unease, she gave him a knowing look and took one of his hands into hers, fingers brushing over fingers, before hooking her pinky around his. “Because I promise you, Spencer Reid, I’ll be back, right here. You’ll be waiting for me, yeah?”

He looked at her in awe, the dim light of the nearly-empty office reflecting off her kind eyes. Warmth spread through his chest, and she smiled so brilliantly that he nearly forgot to breathe, to answer. To answer. He smiled back, twitchy, introspective, and considered the weight of her question. He nodded and responded simply.

“Always.”

-*-*-*-

She managed to remain on the Bureau’s consulting payroll over the next several years, though she was primarily based in the Bay Area as she finished her graduate studies at Stanford. The team as a whole still went to her for a fresh perspective when needed; she video called in to help on cases when necessary and met up in person if a case called them to California.

He knew that she kept in touch with JJ, Penelope, and Derek, and that Hotch and Emily (whom she met shortly after Emily joined the team and a case brought them to LA) were also friendly, if professional, contacts. Spencer himself was known to receive the odd phone call from her.

However, what had Spencer almost covetously pleased was that they had something they shared exclusively between the two of them, because she had steadfastly kept her promise to write to him.

-*-*-*-

Her letters were as beautiful as they were constant, and Spencer handled and read each one with care.

Her handwriting suited her; while it generally was neat and clear little scrawl, he knew it would get a little freer, and little loopier when she was tired, if she was particularly excited, or if she found herself a bit tipsy. (And yet she still managed to always write in an almost perfectly straight line even on a blank sheet of paper. He was envious, and when he told her as such, he could hear the laughter in her response as she wrote it a little more wobbly than usual.) And while he knew her to be tilted more on the quiet, introverted side of the scale, she had a way with the written word, each phrase poetic and thoughtful.

And they were remarkably therapeutic to write in return, Spencer found. Their initial letters mostly consisted of light banter about their mutual and individual interests, updates on the progress of her research (sprinkled amusing tidbits of her exasperation and frustration), bits and pieces about his cases and updates on and amusing anecdotes about the team.

However, over time, he slowly opened up to her, about his fears, his hopes, his dreams. And when he hesitantly divulged bits and pieces about the drugs, his mother, the headaches, he felt the relief in his entire body when she responded with empathy and grace. In turn, she did the same. She was vulnerable, she was open, and as wonderful and quite near perfect as he knew her to be, he was pleased to find her so incredibly human.

Those letters he slowed down to read, committing them to memory with more intention.

(He kept her letters in the drawer of his desk at his apartment, and eventually moved them to a specially designated box when he needed more room. When he learned that she did the same, he couldn’t help the tender warmth that fluttered in his chest. He still didn’t know what to do with the feeling.)

-*-*-*-

They say absence makes the heart grow fonder.

It took six years, and an additional five months at the Academy (and then another few weeks as she was introduced to the legal team, with whom she would also be working with in her role as legal liaison), but she kept her promise and found her way back to the BAU, and it was like she was never gone.

This time, in her re-introduction to the team, she was a breath of fresh air.

When she approached him individually with a nervous smile, she reached out, then hesitated, and a sense of déjà vu washed over Spencer. But then, she had placed a hand on his elbow, and when she smiled, he breathed in a sense of peace and familiarity, of comfort.

“You waited.”

He smiled back, and in a rather forward gesture on his part, he adjusted so he could take the hand on his arm into his.

“Always.”

-*-*-*-

She was too good for him.

Whatever relationship they had—Spencer didn’t know what to call it, though friendship seem too trivial of a word for it—he knew it was too good, too perfect to last.

Because in a cruel twist of fate, her first case back on the team, however unofficial it was, was Maeve.

He was hyperaware of the neutral expression on her face when he finally brought his fears to the team. To anyone else she would seem serene and put together, but to him the slight sag in her shoulders and the realization transitioning to acceptance were clear as day. Spencer never mentioned Maeve to her in their letters, but later, in retrospect, he believed she had an inkling, at the very least. You seem happier, she had written, once, not too long after he first became acquainted with Maeve, and that makes me happy.

Did it? Then he didn’t want to know what his misery would do to her because then, Maeve died, and in his grief over another woman, he fought desperately to push her away.

She could share his happiness, but he refused to let her share his pain, his brokenness. She did not deserve that, and he would not be the one to destroy the beauty and sunshine and hope she brought everywhere with her.

But when they finally took Maeve’s body away, and when the blurred commotion of sirens and law enforcement and emergency services and constant hammering of half-hearted condolences and check-ins finally died down, he felt the blanket around his shoulders be adjusted, and a now-familiar pair of hands take in his own, firm, and refusing to ever let go. Thumbs traced over his knuckles as soothingly as he remembered, and only then did he begin to vaguely process the fact those hands had been tucked into his almost the entire evening, anchoring him through the haze and the fog.

As if on cue, she squeezed his hand gently, like she knew exactly when he was slowly becoming aware of her presence, and he suddenly found he lacked the strength to do what he initially intended.

Still dazed, he felt her shift, and she was kneeling on the ground in front of him where he sat on the curb, and softly drew him into a hug. Any form of resistance he previously had dissolved; he clung to her, tears stinging his eyes once again.

It’s okay, I’m here, I’ll stay, she whispered, I’ll stay, always and always.

Just don’t push me away.

“I-” His voice cracked. “I loved her.”

He paused, his voice weakening.

“I love her...”

Hands ran soothingly through his hair.

“I know.”

She always did.

“…so much.”

He didn’t need to see her face to realize that she was crying with him, for him—he could feel her trying to contain the trembling in her chest, trying desperately to remain composed. He tried to do the same, but when she tilted her head and let him bury his face into her neck, Spencer finally felt fresh tears begin to flow, and he allowed her to take his face into her hands and chase the tears with her fingers.

And Spencer wept freely, first for death of the woman he loved, and then for the tears and the grief he caused the one person he could call his kindred spirit, his soulmate.

-*-*-*-

He healed, slowly.

There were good days, when the thought of Maeve did not stir up memories of blood and fear and gunshots but, rather, of auburn hair and admiration and hushed conversations on the phone. On those days, he felt like he was no longer haunted by a ghost and could finally begin to move on. On those days, he could slow down, appreciate the small things again, and focus on how a pair of familiar, steady hands pulled him out of the past, anchored him in the present, and allowed him to hope about the future.

But then there were the bad days when her touch scalded and burned his skin. The warmth and the pulse of blood rushing through her veins and the germs on her hands and her life was overwhelming because Maeve was dead and cold and gone. So, with every glare and with every sharp comment aimed at where he knew it would hurt, he finally made good on his desire to push her away.

It was on those days the bitter voice in the back of his mind whispered how it was supposed to be Maeve, not her, there alive with him, holding his hand as they faced the world.

It was also on those days he chose to disregard the regret that settled in the pit of his stomach each time he heard his own biting voice, and disregard the horror brought on by even thinking of wishing she were dead instead. He began to ignore the tremble in her hands when she reached out to him and brushed her fingers against his in concern, and he ignored how she gradually began pulling back, hesitant, nervous that her touch would be unwarranted, unwanted. He certainly ignored the unconscious flex in his hand, the ache for the reassurance and comfort he had become so accustomed to—

He ignored it all until he woke up, one night, to an empty bed, and a sudden surge of panic rushed through his body and bile rose in his throat. She was right there, when he fell asleep, giving him a small smile and nod when he asked if she could read to him, to stay the night. Now, without a word, she was gone, she was gone, shewasgone and Spencer could feel the tightness in his chest and tears sting his eyes when realized that the only one to blame was himself, himself, himself.

Why, he thought bitterly, why was he like this? Why must he try to push away every good thing in his life?

But then, there he stood, barely aware of the tears on his cheeks and ice running through his veins, as he found her curled up on his couch, franticly wiping away her own silent tears and exhaustion from her eyes. He stumbled forward, upset, upset at himself because he made her cry again. And when she flinched when he cradled her face in his hands, apologizing to him, he nearly choked back a sob, his hands trembling as he tried to wipe away the tears that did not belong on her face.

Neither of them went back to sleep that night, and Spencer began to realize just how strong she was, as she gently told him through her tears the hard truths of his situation and where she stood in relation to him.

I can’t fight with a ghost, she had murmured hoarsely, but I can work with her legacy and her memory.

And then, with a pinky wrapped around his, she promised that she would be there to help him through it, but the only way was if, and only if, he let her.

It was that night (or, rather, morning, as the sun rose) that he began to come to terms that, whether he deserved it or not, she—and her pure and unadulterated goodness—was more or less a permanent fixture in his life, and he felt more at peace than he had in ages. And when the early rays of sunlight filtered through his windows and caught her in a soft glow, he found himself once again in awe. He reached out, hesitantly, and his heart soared when he felt the familiar pressure of her hand slipping into his.

She was steadfast and loyal and strong. She was brave, she was patient, she was kind. Moreover, she was alive, she was breathing, and she was here, present, by his side. It took time, and more painful conversations and more painful realizations, but eventually, the good days were a bit more consistent, the sun just a bit brighter, and his breathing a just bit freer with her hand pressed firmly into his own, her pulse thrumming beneath his fingers until his heartbeat synced with hers.

And Spencer was finally learning, learning about what to do with the fact that with her by his side, he felt like he could truly face the world.

-*-*-*-

Face the world he did.

When Gideon died, he felt his hand twitch, and the compulsion to escape and hide tugged at the back of his mind, and an old, nearly forgotten itch made its way from the crook of his elbow, slowly ebbing into in his veins and nagging in the crevices of the back of the mind.

But when he felt her hand slip into his, he felt it abate, the tension in his muscles eased. When her lips twitched into a knowing, gentle smile, he could see the underlying grief and frustration. Of course. She had known Gideon just as well as he did, if not better.

He breathed deeply and smiled back. It was weak, it was twitchy, and it was sad, but it was a smile, nonetheless. He wasn’t in this alone.

-*-*-*-

They were seated on a large blanket in a secluded park in D.C. on one of their rare days off when she pressed a gentle kiss on his lips, and suddenly it seemed like all the right pieces finally fell into place.

And when she whispered those three little words, and everything made sense. He looked up from where he laid, and again he was breathless at how the setting sun caught in her hair and reflected off her skin and her eyes. But then, when he opened his mouth to respond, the same three little words caught in his throat and his breath hitched, and he wanted to cry. He wanted to respond, to let her know that her feelings were returned, but the words failed him.

“It’s okay,” she murmured softly, and he trembled as he felt her hands cupping his face and fingers gracing over his cheekbones, “if you don’t reciprocate; I’ll live. But I just wanted to let you know–know that I’ll be by your side no matter what happens.”

It wasn’t until they were at the door of her apartment, when he found the strength to push past the nerves and respond.

“I do re-reciprocate, and I want–I want to say it, because I do,” he stuttered out, “but I just…don’t know how to say it yet.”

He suddenly felt like a prepubescent schoolboy, nervous and quaking and terrified. But then, magnetic as she was, she brought his gaze back to her face, and her knowing smile breathed air back into his lungs. His heart blossomed, and the fingers rubbing circles into his hand anchored his attention on her. “Then I’ll wait until you can. Always. Forever.” She paused. “Do you trust me?”

Spencer peered up at her, brows furrowed. Unbidden, the memory of the first time she asked him the same question floated to the front of his mind, and he couldn’t help the breath of amusement. The question caught him off guard, but this time, when he found his voice it was resolute, quick, and sure.

Yes.

He felt a pinky hook around his, and the now-familiar warmth bubbled in his chest.

“Good, because it’s a promise I intend to keep.”

This time, the tears her fingers caught were those of appreciation and relief.

-*-*-*-

And then, the sun set, and prison happened.

-*-*-*-

At first, it was easy to ignore.

Prison changed him. He knew it did, and he knew that she wasn’t naïve to the fact either. He was a bit harder, a bit more defensive, and while he tried his best not to show it, he knew she could see the darkness had just a little bit more of an edge. He was well aware of how she watched him just a bit more closely.

It seemed alright at first. It took a while for him to adjust; there were certainly bumps and bruises along the way, along with some admittedly choice words exchanged in frustration, but that was expected.

But he supposed it was the small things, and small things add up.

The first week her hand naturally slipped into his like nothing’d changed, but his grip was tighter and more desperate than normal, like she’d disappear or slip through his fingers if he didn’t. At the same time, he was also too terrified to touch her otherwise, as if she’d break like glass if his grip on her waist was just a bit too tight.

She never commented, gave him space, and allowed him to initiate physical contact.

She didn’t need to know, he rationalized, it wasn’t her burden to bear.

Then he began to hold her at arm’s length. She pushed, gently, and he pushed back, harder. He knew she was only trying to help, but he needed to figure it out for himself, lest he hurt her again. She only sighed, and relented. While her concern was apparent with how she watched him with just a little more unease, she gave him space.

However, while she was an exceptionally patient person, there was only so much distance and space one could handle. When she reached out, worried, and pressed just a little harder, he withdrew completely, and his rationalization slowly evolved. Stop hovering. Don’t need you treating me like I’m broken. Don’t need your pity.He ignored the pain that flashed in her eyes, the quiet desperation in her voice whenever she called after him after he refused to listen, and the increasingly familiar ache in his entire body when he began to avoid and refuse her touch.

It was the small things, because when the nightmares started, it wasn’t so easy to ignore.

-*-*-*-

“—eathe, Spencer. That’s good, breathe.”

The mumbled affirmations continued as he slowly processed his surroundings.

Queen-sized bed. Egyptian cotton sheets. Breathe in. Goose-feather down pillows. A firmer memory foam pillow that smelled of her shampoo. Breathe out.

Safety.

He was still bleary-eyed when he sunk back down, burying half his face in the pillows and ashamed as he mumbled a quiet apology. Her voice was kind, understanding, telling him it was alright as she tucked a stray lock of curls away from his face. When he seemed to settle back down, her hand gentle rested on his jaw, thumb absently tracing his cheekbone.

“Do you want to talk—”

“No.”

She frowned, sighed, took a moment to flick on the lamp light and collect her thoughts; he could see, through his lashes, the gears turning in her head about how to proceed. Meanwhile, he heaved a sighed, and sat up against the headboard. His eyes closed, doing the same as her. She then reached out, touched his hand, grazed her thumb over his knuckles and drew circles on the back. It started slow, hesitant—she was surprised that he didn’t recoil, and frankly, so was he—but the motion was familiar, grounding, so he let her continue. He knew it helped her focus as well.

“Spence, you’re…you need to talk to someone—it doesn’t have to be me! But bottling it up all inside, it’s clearly tearing you apart.”

“I agreed to start talking with my therapist, haven’t I?”

His voice was flat, defensive.

“But you haven’t, and…knowing you, you won’t be telling them the whole truth.” His jaw tightened and his lips pursed, his hand gripping the sheets flexed, and he looked away from her, intently staring at a random point in the room that wasn’t her. As always, she seemed to know him far too well.

She let out a breath of a sigh; she knew he was beginning to shut her out again. Her free hand lifted to his shoulder, rested in the crook of his neck.

“I’ve told you before, that you’ve started to shut people out. I know–I know you’re so, so strong, but you don’t have to face it alone. You don’t need to hold the weight of the world on your shoulders; we’re not as fragile as you seem to think we are.” She paused, contemplating. “If you need someone with distance that you can trust, call Derek, call Hotch, even, but remember, Spence, I made you a promise: I’ll always be here for you, no matter what.”

When he didn’t answer, still staring off into the mid-distance, she sighed.

“I’ll leave, give you some space. Think about it.”

She was at the bedroom door when he finally cleared his throat and responded. His voice was bitter as he bit out: “You’re going to have to do a lot better than that.”

A quiet ‘wha–’slipped from her lips as she angled toward him as he shifted to sit on the edge of the bed, hands gripping the sheets tightly.

“If you want to leave, fine. You seem to be doing that quite well recently. The door’s right there and you don’t have to come back until you want to make me a charity case again. But if you want me to talk, if you think you can handle it, then be my guest. Take a seat and why don’t you make me?”

He instantly regretted the words, but some dark part of his mind as pleased that he could see the anger and annoyance spark through her as she inhaled deeply and slowly turn around to face him in full. “I will if that’s what it will take.”

Spencer’s gaze hardened.

“You don’t have the fucking guts.”

A brief moment passed as she took him in full, eyes flashing. Spencer raised his gaze, challenging, daring her, and then, the same, shadowed part of his mind was savagely happy that he had finally gotten a rise out of her, because she bit back with venom.

“Fucking try me.”

And then, he watched her warily as she visibly froze, then deflate, her jaw tightening and eyes welling with unshed tears as she stumbled backward to the door.

“But–but not like this. Not like this. I’m–I’m so sorry you didn’t–you don’t deserve…” Her voice was quiet, but it was hitched with a swirl of emotions Spencer couldn’t pinpoint, and he was suddenly aware of the hot tears dripping down his cheeks. “I’m going–I’m going to go…” He heard the doorknob turn, and suddenly the sound of gunshots rang in his ears, and he could the taste the metallic bitterness as blood and dead brown eyes filled his vision.

Wait. Wai- She was halfway out the door when he called out, voice cracking, and through blurred tears he saw her shut the door and shuffled and stumbled back into the room toward him, kneeling in front of him. Through the ringing in his ears, he could hear the whispers of his name and the urgency of the apologies. And then his eyes fluttered closed when she reached up to brush the tears away, and the motion opened the floodgates. It was one of the many little touches they shared—thumbs wiping over cheeks and hands cupping faces—and he had half a mind to shove her aside, but dear God he hadn’t felt it in far too long; he leaned, almost desperately, into her touch and he could hear her sniffling back her own tears.

Fuck.

He was always like this.

His passive aggressiveness was his defense mechanism; he lashed out blindly whenever he felt vulnerable, not caring who he hurt and how much. It was something she had been helping him work through, and he thought he was getting better, but here he was, hurting her because of it again.

Not like this.

He barely noticed that she had pulled him into a tender hug, but now that he did process the warmth of her embrace seeping into his bones, he wanted to push it away. He didn’t – he didn’t deserve this but now she was pulling back, and it sent a brief course of panic through his body, a fear that she was pulling away, away from him, away from the darkness and shadows that loomed permanently over him. He wouldn’t blame her, but–but…oh.

Her eyes always spoke volumes for her, and now that she had firmly tilted his chin up, her gaze firm, resolved.

“I know you are feeling vulnerable, and I know that you believe you can do this on your own.” She breathed in deeply. In turn he gazed up at her through his tears, as evenly as he could, and she met it without wavering. “You are strong, Spencer Reid, so, so strong, been so for so long. But…but I made a promise that I would always be by your side, and I’m never going to break it. So please.” Her voice hitched, and his breath caught in his throat. “Please, trust in me, one more time. Just one more time.”

Moments ticked by to the time of his heartbeat before he finally nodded, and the relief and the elation in her eyes soothed the dull pain inside his heart. This time, he drew her into his arms and into his lap and sighed as he leaned into the crook of her neck.

Thank you.

I love you, too.

-*-*-*-

“Have enough courage to trust love one more time and always one more time.”

—Maya Angelou

-*-*-*-

[imagineaworlds]

I Love You (Part Fifty-Seven) -- Aaron Hotchner

Written By: @desperately-bisexual

Request: None.

Warnings: SMUT!! Cursing. Unprotected sex. Wrap it before you tap it, ladies, gentlemen, and nonbinary sibs. Dom/sub relationship. Mild edging. Impregnation kink. The reader does go by they/them pronouns, however, Hotch refers to them as female when saying “good girl”.

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x Greenaway!Reader

Word Count: 8391

Timeline: A few days after part fifty-six.

Criminal Minds Discord Server

November 2nd. Aaron Christopher Hotchner’s birthday only came a few days after Halloween, which just meant more sugar for the kids. Between the cookies on Halloween and the birthday cake on Hotch’s birthday, those kids were spoiled rotten. Not that I ever complained. I loved celebrating Hotch’s birthday, as much as he hated it, and I loved dedicating the whole day to him—again, even though he hated it. He disliked the idea of celebrating himself. Not to mention that celebrating his birthday just made him think of his mother, who was horrible to him, and that would lead him to remember his father, who was even worse. That was why over the past couple of years, I had been trying to turn that day into his day, and not his parents’. It was okay for him to be selfish. Aaron really struggled with thinking highly of himself, or even thinking anything about himself. He preferred the idea of just spending his time and energy on me, the kids, and work. Between all of that, there was hardly any time for himself. On his birthday, however, it was all about him, and I was going to make him love his birthday one of these days.

However, my plans seemed to be canon-balled in the side by my parents. They surprised me and Hotch with a call shortly after Halloween to let us know that they had decided to get back together, and that they had moved in together again. When I asked when this happened, my mom said a couple of months ago. So… they had been keeping that from me all this time? Them and Hotch with the fucking secrets. I let it slide, though, considering I always knew that they still loved each other and that they only split up in the first place because of work, but now that was all in the past. Now, they could just be them. In fact, that was why my parents called in the first place. They asked if they could have the kids for the day, and when I tried to argue that it was Hotch’s birthday so we wanted the kids home with us, my mom interrupted with: “Oh, perfect! We’ll take the kids for the day, then you guys can come over for a birthday dinner!”

Ugh…

The thing about my mom was that she was never really… there… when Elle and I were growing up. Because she worked for the CIA, she was gone a lot, the same way that Hotch and I were away from Scar and Jack so much. With her traveling so much, she hardly settled to do “motherly” things like learning to cook. Elle and I loved her dearly, okay. We did. But her cooking was like eating acid. For Hotch’s birthday, I was imagining something a little more special than battery acid. Yet, I couldn’t talk them out of it.

Hotch had sing-songed in my ear, “We’ll have the whole house to ourselves for the day…” which made me ultimately give in. Then, when I hung up on them, he said, “Who knows, maybe the kids’ll like your parents.”

I groaned. “Who ever likes their grandparents?”

“Celia and Ken are good people, baby. They’re fun, and they love you and Elle more than anything in the world. I’m sure they’ll be good with the kids.”

I squinted at him. “Fine.”

My dad picked up the kids early in the morning since he spent the night working at the Academy anyhow. They lived about an hour away from our house, so by the time they were gone, we only had lunch, the afternoon, and about an hour of the evening before we had to leave. What was supposed to be a day of fucking in every reasonable room of the house turned into us just staring at our bedroom ceiling, counting the minutes until we had to get ready. I was dreading dinner. Not only was the drive going to be unbearably long, but dinner itself was going to be complicated.

There were a thousand things from my past that Hotch didn’t know about, and I would’ve kept it that way, but knowing my parents, they were going to unknowingly spill the beans, and I was going to have to explain a thousand things after the fact. Great. I mean, it wasn’t that I was actively keeping it all a secret from him. It just never came up. I was sure that there was stuff in his own past that he didn’t bring up because he couldn’t remember at the time or because there was no point in mentioning it. But my parents were the embarrassing type. I thought that by dating an older guy, and kind of rushing our relationship, we could skip that whole “embarrassing dinner with the parents” spiel, yet there we were. Hence, why I was staring at the ceiling with him all day rather than running around the house naked.

While in the car, Hotch and I were extremely handsy with one another. He was trying to focus on the road, but I kept messing with his hair, or playing with the wedding ring on his finger as we held hands; meanwhile, he was kneading my thigh every so often, or caressing my cheek with his thumb, or brushing my hair out of my face. I wanted my attention to be on him. The whole day was supposed to be dedicated to him, yet I couldn’t think straight. Going home after years and years of not being there was just making me appreciate how far I had come, and now my mind was racing with memories, good and bad.

I had the love of my life, the job I always wanted, and I had an amazing, beautiful, nuclear family. My stepson loved me as his own mother. My daughter was perfect in every way. Just as I always anticipated, she lit up a room just with her very presence, and it was most obvious whenever she was around Reid or Morgan. My best friends, and one of them was the godfather of my child. My life was perfect. Going home, however, was just a reminder of a time when things weren’t perfect. I didn’t need that bringing me down right now.

“What’s wrong?” Hotch asked me when he took notice of how quiet I was.

I glanced over at him and sighed. “I love them, my parents. You know I do.”

“I know.”

“But I just don’t want to do this…”

“It’s too late.”

Silence hung in the air for another minute as I returned to deep thinking about what they could possibly say in front of Hotch that could upset either of us.

“What are you thinking about now?” he spoke up again.

“The past.”

He raised a brow. “Care to share with the class?”

I smiled and shuffled to face him. “Well, I was just thinking about how different I used to be before I joined the BAU and met you, and before we started dating. Even when we first started going out, we were so different than how we are now.”

“Is that a bad thing?”

“Not at all.” I rested my elbow on the arm rest between us and stared up at him. “I used to work a shitty desk job, only dreaming about being where I am today. I had no friends, I didn’t talk to my parents or my sister, I hated my job, I lived in a one bedroom apartment in the city, and I didn’t have anyone I loved or who loved me back. I was entirely alone. And then everything changed when I met Jason Gideon and I solved the Footpath Killer problem faster than anyone else. So, I joined the BAU, thinking ‘What have I got to lose?’. Joined the team, made a friend or two, reconnected with my sister, and met a guy who was… well… my boss. He wouldn't leave me alone unless I went with him to dinner.” I poked Hotch’s dimple lightly when he smiled in response to my joke.

We both knew that he hadn’t chased after me. He wanted to. He really, truly wanted to chase after me, but he kept his distance because he thought that it would protect me, spare the team confusion, and spare himself potential heartache. But, eventually, he budged, and he asked me out. And by budged, I mean that I forced his hand. But it was cute to think that he would’ve chased after me if things had been slightly different. Maybe if I didn’t join the BAU, the chase would’ve happened naturally. Or maybe we would’ve continued staring and smiling at each other from a distance and nothing would ever happen because we were both cowards who didn’t know how to jump headfirst into a real relationship since we had been hurt one too many times before.

“And I guess he was cute, and I guess he was sweet…” I leaned in close and whispered in his ear, “And I guess he was good in bed…”

Hotch turned quickly and pressed a kiss to my lips before I could pull away from him. I smiled and pushed him back. “Tease,” he muttered under his breath.

“Shh,” I insisted. “I’m telling a story.” I sat back in my seat, swinging my legs over the arm rest between us so that my feet were on his thigh.

“That’s dangerous,” he warned.

“I trust you. Now, my story.” I hummed to myself, thinking about where I left off. “I gave up my life for a better part of a year for him and our relationship. So, I'm starting to think that this maybe might work, and the second it entered my head, he starts lying to me—”

“I didn’t lie—”

“No? What would you call what you did in Cincinnati, then?” I raised a playful brow. Hotch didn’t respond. He only licked his teeth and fell silent again so that I could continue my story. “Anyhow, he starts lying to me, yet I can’t stop thinking to myself that he’s the one, that I love him more than anything, and I’d die without him.” Hotch tore one of his hands off the wheel so that he could run his thumb over the inside of my left ankle. “And I know that I love him the way he is— even when he thinks that lying to me is the right thing to do.” Hotch squeezed my calf lightly to warn me away from accusing him of lying again. “I wanted to tell him, ‘You don't have to always be there; you don't have to change your habits… Just love me. You don't have to put the seat down; you don't have to eat avocado toast; you don't have to change a thing— Just stay with me.’ So, I try to tell him, ‘I want you— nothing but you.’ Because you take me in your arms, and suddenly everything in my life makes sense. For a moment, I forget just how dark and cold the world can get. It feels like my life led right to your side and will keep me there from now on.” I leaned forward again, pressing my palm against his cheek. He continued to watch the road, though I knew he was desperate to look at me, too. “Now I wanna hold you close— I don't ever wanna have to let you go. I don't wanna go back to the lonely life. Can we do that?”

Hotch moved to kiss my palm. “Of course.”

“Listen, when we get to my house, take a look at that town, take a look at how far I've come. I will never go back, never look back anymore. Everything bad that happened in my life stems from that place. I was missing what was perfect in my life��you and our family—but now I have you, and I never, ever want to let that go. Does that make sense?”

Hotch shrugged.

I brushed his hair back out of his face. I needed him to understand exactly what I meant, so I had to put it into terms that he could understand. “Just think about what you wanted. Think about what could be. Think about how I love you. Think of what's great about me and you. Think of the bullshit we've both been through. Think about how we’ve come so far together, and how we’ve overcome every single obstacle, no matter how tough they seemed at times. That’s not by chance, Aaron.” I gently curled my fingers around a fistful of his hair. “That’s effort that my parents never put in. That’s learning from our experiences—learning from where we came from and choosing to be better. Going back to my hometown and seeing my old life is like taking steps back on Candyland—” He chuckled at my simile. “I’m serious!” He shook off his laugh as we turned into my neighborhood and he started looking at the house numbers to figure out which one was mine. “You can’t let me stay here,” I said once I saw it at the end of the cul-de-sac. “Please, Aaron.”

“You’re being a little overdramatic, baby girl.”

“Just wait.”

I knew that once he would spend the evening with my parents, learning about my past and how spoiled and annoying I was as a kid, he would understand what I meant. I never thought in a million years I would be back there. I never thought that my parents would somehow manage to convince me to come back. Yet, as Hotch pulled into the driveway, I realized just how fucked this was.

“Mom! Dad!”

I looked over my shoulder and out my window to see Jack and Scarlet running out of the house, speeding onto the front lawn, and dashing towards our car. I smiled lightly. At least I had them. My little man and my lil’ bug. They made this trip worth it, and the upcoming dinner was going to be unbearable, but I could just hold Scarlet in my arms if I ever got upset or bored, and I would feel at home again.

Did Hotch realize how grateful I was? I mean, to be honest, I did most of the work, but the beginning was a team effort… if you catch my drift. I was so thankful that he gave me my lil’ bug Scarlet, and that he looked after us shortly after she was born, and that he was so hands on with her. I mean, he was close with Jack. He dedicated everything to his son when he was born, and even more so after Haley’s death; but Hotch was vastly different with Scarlet. With Jack, there was a level of protection that he had because of Foyet; because he didn’t want Jack to experience anything traumatic ever again. On the other hand, Scarlet hadn’t been through anything yet, and Hotch was working tirelessly to make sure it stayed that way. I would say that Scarlet was a daddy’s girl, too, which only encouraged Hotch to coddle her. I didn’t care anymore. It used to irk me that he was too overbearing with her, but since our lives had continued to turn upside down because of work, I actually appreciated Hotch’s caution with our daughter. Jack had been hurt once before, and between Hotch and I, we had been hurt over a hundred times—if I were being generous. At the very least, as her parents, we could protect Scarlet from ever enduring what the three of us had.

I swung my feet off of Hotch’s thighs so that we could both get out of the car. As I opened my door, Jack immediately jumped up, his arms sprawled so that I could catch him. I laughed as I barely made it on time. “Oh, boy!” I groaned while standing and hugging him tightly.

He was too big now to lift, and it pissed me off, but what was I supposed to do? Hurt my back more just to try to pick him up? No… As much as I missed holding him on my hip and hugging him so tight that neither of us could breathe, trying to lift him now would have been futile and simply hurtful for the two of us.

“Daddy!” Scarlet cheered as she jumped into Hotch’s arms. Like I said, daddy’s girl.

He kissed her cheeks over and over again until she pushed him away because it tickled too much. “How was your day, Ms. Scarlet?”

She poked at his cheekbones. “Good. Grandpa and Grandma played soccer with us.”

“Did you win?”

“Yeah.”

“That’s not true!” Jack argued. “I won!”

I kissed his hair. “I’m sure you did, little man.”

“How was the drive?” Dad asked as he and Mom came to meet us outside, too. Hotch and I turned to face them. We told them that it was long, but nice. “Did ya work up an appetite?”

“Dad—”

“You know it,” Hotch answered over me, sending me a quick glance that begged that I would be polite.

“Good. Good.” Dad patted Hotch on the back before ushering us inside. “Celia’s been cooking up a storm all day. Hope you like steak.”

“Nothing sounds better.”

----

Dinner was ready almost immediately. The family gathered in the dining room, the kids at the end so that they could draw in a coloring book that Scarlet brought with her while the adults talked on the other end. Hotch and I sat side by side, my parents across from us. This was the first time we had a chance to talk with my parents since the wedding nearly three years ago. Not that the distance was on purpose. It was just that we never had the chance to sit down like this ever. The first time they met Hotch was practically just after he proposed, but then we were called away to work. It happened like that every time. Our jobs called us out to different states all the time, my mom’s job called her out to different countries, and my dad’s job required him to be at the Academy practically 24/7. It was a miracle that we could get all four of us in the same room for Hotch’s birthday.

Not that I necessarily saw it as a miracle. Considering we had never done this before, like I said, so therefore, Hotch never really got to know them, and vice versa. What were we supposed to do if they ended up hating them? I knew I was bitching about this all day, but that was only because I was nervous. If this went awry, I wouldn’t be able to choose between my parents and my husband. I knew what my decision would be, but that was heartbreaking to even consider.

Hotch put a hand on my knee to stop it from bouncing anxiously. My attention snapped to him to see that he was sending me a look that asked if I was alright or if I needed a break. I sent him a look that said I was alright. I was just thinking… Again…

Dad cut through his slice of birthday cake that Mom made for after dinner while talking with Hotch about Cody, the Director of the FBI. For dinner, my mom made steak—which was edible—and mashed potatoes and green beans, which were there. She tried her best. Dessert was probably the best part. Hotch didn’t exactly like anything “unhealthy” since he liked to stay so fit for the field; but I made him try some of the cake on my plate, and once he did, he was convinced into having a slice of his own.

“Have you been in contact with anyone from your high school?” Mom asked me. “I heard there was some kind of class reunion a month or so ago.”

I chuckled behind my cup. “Who would I be in contact with?” I took a sip.

“I don’t know… Oh— What about Steven Teller?”

I nearly spat my drink out. “What—”

“You know! Steven!” Mom hit Dad’s shoulder, “Where did he end up going for college?”

Dad started thinking. “Hmm… Wasn’t it… Tulane?” He snapped in eureka. “Yes! That was it! Tulane. His dad told me after he graduated that he got a job working for some prestigious law firm.” My dad pointed at me, “You must have a thing for lawyers.”

Hotch leaned to the side, pulling me towards him somewhat. “Steven Teller? Isn’t that—”

I stopped him with a glare. When he fell silent, we both sat back up straight in our seats. I looked at my parents. “No, I haven’t talked to Steven. I haven’t talked to anyone. And, honestly, I don’t want to.”

“What about Tess—"

I cleared my throat. “It’s getting kind of late,” I said, checking my watch. “I want to show Aaron around before we leave. You know, brag about some old memories and stuff.”

My parents took note of the change in tone in my voice, and the way the room suddenly grew uncomfortable. They recognized that they touched some kind of nerve. They fucked up, though they weren’t sure how, and they weren’t going to pry or stop me from talking to Hotch about it all privately—which was clearly what I wanted to do. So, they let us go.

I grabbed Hotch’s hand and started pulling him towards the stairs. He hurried after me, trying to keep up with how fast I was leading him along, and even trying to tug back on me to get me to slow down, but I didn’t. We skipped up the steps and hurried down to the last room on the left. My bedroom. It hadn’t been touched or bothered since high school. It was so weird. It was like some kind of time capsule that should’ve been burned down years ago. This wasn’t who I was anymore. I had grown up so much since leaving home. Like I told Hotch, I left this place and I never looked back, and I was fine with how my life turned out. I just didn’t think my parents would keep mine and Elle’s rooms untouched like this— like they were shrines of a better past or something.

“Steven Teller. I know that name,” Hotch said, closing the door behind me. “It’s been churning in my head for six years, Y/N. How do your parents not know?”

“I’ve told you before, I didn’t tell anyone. And I’ve also told you before that I would’ve never told you or Elle if the Fisher King hadn’t let the cat out of the bag. He took pictures of it, Aaron, and then he used them to black mail me. How could I tell people that? I got those pictures back, I hid them away, and I left this place for as long as I could.”

Hotch stepped closer to me. He put his hands on my biceps and sighed. “I’d kill him if I could.”

George Foyet and the Hawai’i gang had seen up close and person how far Hotch was willing to go to get revenge on those who hurt his family. If Steven Teller were there in front of us, I had no doubts in my mind that Hotch would’ve been willing to get locked up just for the sake of putting him six feet underground.

“Remember, I told you to take a look at how far I’ve come. I told you to remember that this isn’t who I am anymore— that none of this matters to me now. What matters is being in your arms. Being with you helps me forget.” I reached up to hold his face in my hands. “It was so long ago. Aaron, I need you to believe me when I tell you that it doesn’t matter. I mean— I— It does matter… But I don’t let it define me. I don’t let it distract me from what makes me happy. You, Jack, and Scarlet make me happy. That’s all that matters. I don’t care about him. I don’t think about him. Every bad memory I have of him has been forgotten and replaced by my happy memories of you.”

Hotch wrapped his arms around my waist and he lifted me up slightly so that my toes were barely tangling over the carpet, but my face was even with his. He kissed me. After a moment, he set me back down on my feet and he let go of me.

“So, what was Y/N Greenaway into when they were in high school?” His change of topic caught me off guard, but I appreciated it. He knew that I didn’t want to talk about this because, to me, it didn’t fucking matter. And if it didn’t matter to me, it didn’t matter to him. What mattered was that I promised to show him around. He was in my old bedroom, and he wanted to finally get to know everything I never told him. “You have any fun stories to tell me about all of this?” he teased while spinning around to get a look at everything around him. He stopped when he noticed my box of vinyls. “If there isn’t a single good record in here, I’m leaving.”

I snickered. “Well, your definition of good music is definitely older than mine.”

He grinned at me while running a finger over the titles. “Are you calling me old right now?”

“Mhm.”

“I’m only one year older now, not ten.”

“Still old.”

He picked out one of the records. “Brat.” He admired the cover of A Night at the Opera by Queen. “So, this is where your love for Queen began. Who’s old now?”

“That record’s older than me.”

“So, you like old things, then. Who would’ve known?” he questioned sarcastically. I rolled my eyes and sat down on the bed. “Oh,” Hotch smiled to himself, “look what we have here.”

I watched as he reached for something at the bottom of my bookshelf. I cocked a brow, figuring that he was just grabbing an old kiddie book that we could take home for Scarlet, but what I saw in his hands when he turned around absolutely mortified me. “No—” I insisted quickly, pushing myself to my knees on the mattress. “Aaron Hotchner, you put that back!”

Hotch’s wicked smile brightened as he meandered over to the bed, flipping the book open to the front page. “I always wondered when I’d get the chance to see this.”

“Aaron—” I reached out, trying to swipe the book from him, but he caught my wrist and held me steady. “I swear—”

“Behave yourself,” he narrowed his eyes, still smiling, though. He released my hand, allowing me to sit back down obediently. As he turned to the next page, he sat down next to me so that I could watch what he was doing. “Do you remember how we went through my old yearbook the night you first told me you love me?” I was going to kill him, I swear. He had to know that I would do it, and I knew how to get away with it. “And you told me that I would never, ever get to see your yearbooks.” With that snide, calculated comment that was supposed to tease me, I tried to grab the book from him again, though I knew I shouldn’t have. “Look at you, you were adorable!” I tried again. “If you don’t stop that, I will tie you to the headboard.”

“I wasn’t adorable,” I told him as I gave up trying to take the yearbook away from him. “I was nerdy and dorky. Elle was always the cool one. She knew how to play the system so that she could be popular, meanwhile, I was just focused on getting to the Academy.”

“Sounds like a fun childhood,” he teased with sarcasm hiding behind his words.

“Hey!” I punched his arm lightly. “I had fun!”

“Mhm,” he nodded sarcastically. “Was that between studying and playing D&D, or was that after you volunteered at the senior center?” He pointed to all the different pictures of me on the community service pages. 

“I’ll have you know,” I grinned, recalling a memory that would definitely get under his skin, “that it happened after the homecoming game junior year.”

He looked up at me with wide, shocked, yet still angry eyes, just as I predicted. “Please tell me it wasn’t in his car, at least.”

“Her bedroom,” I corrected. “She lived just a block away from the school, so we snuck out of the game and walked to her place. Elle never even knew I was gone.”

Hotch’s eyes dilated slightly as his mind raced with every possibility of what happened that night. “And what about your room?” he asked while looking around in order to avoid eye contact with me so that he was harder to profile.

“Her birthday the following week,” I answered, now using the same kind of smirk that he had plastered to his face only moments ago. He thought that he could get to me by looking through the yearbook and stirring up old memories, but what he failed to recognize was that I would do anything to get the upper hand on this situation again.

Hotch cleared his throat as he turned another page of the yearbook. “Oh, look!” He was trying to change the subject again, despite how obvious it was that he was thinking about what happened on that bed in high school. “It’s a picture of you and Elle.” He turned the book slightly towards me again, but I didn’t look down at it.

I leaned against him, shifting around on my knees as I got closer. When my hand brushed against his pants, Hotch cleared his throat again and nearly slammed the book shut, yet he still managed to somehow hold together his composure. “You know,” I whispered into his ear, “birthday sex is a lot of fun.”

“Was this your move in high school?” he asked me with a raspy, breathless tone.

I knew I got him, now it was just a matter of breaking him. “No.” I shook my head. “This was.” I grabbed the book, knowing that he wasn’t paying attention to it anymore, and I threw it to the floor. His hands were desperate to hold onto something now, so they immediately found my hips as I straddled him. “And then it went a little something like this…” I whispered in his ear as I started slowly unbuttoning his shirt.

“Your parents are downstairs,” he whispered back.

“Just like high school.” I smiled.

He laughed as he leaned in to kiss me. “You would have been bad news for me back in high school, Y/N.”

“I’m still bad news for you.” I finally got his shirt open and I quickly pushed it off his arms. His arms snaked around my waist once they were free of his blue silk shirt. “You remember Valentine’s?” He nodded before pulling me in for another kiss. I pushed him away. “Round two?”

He shook his head. “I just want you. Please.”

“Whatever the birthday boy wants…”

Hotch moaned as I lowered my hips, grinding my panties against his trousers. When he was least expecting it, I parted from our endless kisses and pushed a hand to his chest with enough force to give him the idea that he should lay back on the width of the bed. Hotch listened, his arms falling from hugging me to grabbing my hips as he laid back calmly. He stared up at me with his brown eyes dilated that were turning pure black with lust. He licked his lips, trying to forget about how nice it was to kiss me and how he wanted to do it again.

I used my hand on his chest to balance myself as I dragged my hips up towards his chest slowly, feeling the outline of his erection passing over my covered slit. As I pushed myself back down, I felt his tip hit my clit, both of us letting out an unexpected moan in response.

When I realized what happened, I put my other hand over his mouth. “You have to be quiet,” I whispered, moving my hips forwards and backwards against him. He groaned against my hand, the vibrations of his pleasure running through my hand before coursing through the rest of my body.

“Fuck me,” he begged against my hand.

I sat up entirely, moving down his thighs somewhat so that I could fidget with his pants. He groaned quietly every time my fingers accidentally passed over his throbbing length as I struggled to get his pants off as fast as possible. I wanted him just as badly as he wanted me, and there was only so much time we had before my parents or Jack would come looking for us. All I knew was that I wanted to fuck him and call him mine for his birthday.

We worked together to discard the rest of our clothes. While I fidgeted with his pants, his hands crumbled up the skirt of my dress, and he made a move to lift it over my head, but while he was still laying under me, he couldn’t make the aggressive move he wanted. So, he had to wait. I pulled his belt out of all of the loops, then tossed it to the side. Without hesitation, I undid his pants, my palms brushing over his erection so often he was moaning and bucking. I lifted my hips so that I could push down his pants and underwear to his ankles, and when I sat back down, I made sure that I was right over his erection.

“Baby, please. Your dress.” He tugged at the skirt of it lightly. I nodded, raising my arms over my head. He whimpered a “thank you” and sat up slightly so that he could pull my dress off my body entirely, and afterwards, he unclasped my bra with expertise. “So precious, baby girl…” he exhaled through his nose lightly before kissing my bra strap. As my fingers tangled themselves in his hair and pulled, Hotch’s cold fingers slowly started pushing my bra straps off my shoulders. The more my bra fell, the more he kissed my bare body, making his way down to my nipples. “I love you,” he whispered to me as my bra fell to the floor and he wrapped his lips around my left nipple.

I moaned, throwing my head back. “I love you, too.”

He released my left nipple and slowly went to suck on the other one, making my stomach twist in pleasure. While he was preoccupied and I was desperate for him, I reached between us so that I could take his length in my hand. He hissed quietly. When I bucked my hips up slightly, running my clothed slit up every inch of him, I felt him twitch in my hand with excitement. He wanted me, of course. I wanted him, too, but this was all about pleasing him. I was going to take my time making sure that he was served and happy.

Hotch nibbled on my nipple gently when I ran my thumb over his tip. I heard him whimper a few quiet times. So, I did it again. He released my nipple so that he could moan into my chest. I smirked and did it again.

“Baby, please—” he gasped breathlessly. “Just fuck me. Please.”

“You wanna cum for me?” I asked him before kissing his hair.

He nodded. “Yes. Please. Fuck—”

As I lifted my hips, Hotch reached between us to push my panties to the side. “Do you want to cum in me?” I teased his tip at my entrance.

“Baby girl, I want to fill you so bad…” He tried pushing my hips down, but I held steady. “You—” He gasped against my shoulder as I rolled my hips slightly. “You promised— For my—For my birthday—”

“I know, baby,” I whispered. “I know.” I just loved hearing his pleas and whimpers too much to not pry them out of him. But now that he had given himself to me and his whimpers blessed my ears, I could finally give in for him. “I’m sorry.” I started lowering myself onto every inch of him. We both let out quiet moans that filled the room. Hotch wrapped his arms around my entire body, pressing my chest against his. “I love you.”

“I love you—” He groaned and threw his head back as I settled at the base of his cock. “You treat me so well, baby girl. Thank you.”

“Shhh…” I cooed. “Fuck…”

As I started rolling my hips around him and slowly moving up and down his length, I felt myself get more worked up, encouraging me to only go faster and harder. We held each other close as I did so. He was so hard, every inch of him was throbbing inside of me, hitting exactly where I needed him most. But then there was the added stimulation of my clit grinding on his pubic bone. It made me melt.

“I fucking love you,” he whispered.

“I love you, too.”

Slowly, but surely, my back started to tense up. The muscle that had been injured the worst during the bank explosion over a year ago was starting to act up again, which wasn’t unusual in these cases. For the most part, I was healed since then, to the point that I could participate in cases in the field without issue, and Hotch and I could have intense scenes with only minimal aches. But from time to time, I would feel it to the point that it felt like my back was screaming at me: “Please, do anything else but this!” So, I gave in. I listened to the way my body was angry at me, and I tried to shift around somewhat to calm down, but it wasn’t working.

“You okay?” Hotch asked after noticing how my pace had slowed.

I nodded slightly before cringing again. “My back…” I finally admitted. This was the worst fucking time for it to hurt. “I’m sorry, baby.”

He shook his head and sat up. “Don’t be.” He hugged me and stood, giving me time to wrap my legs around his waist. We moaned into each other’s mouths in response to the way he moved inside of me. He turned around and started carefully laying me on the bed with him still buried inside me.

“That’s a talent,” I mumbled against his lips. He chuckled. “I like being under you better, anyhow.”

Hotch leaned up to stop me from continuing my endless string of kisses. “You’re sure you’re okay?”

I nodded and bucked my hips up to encourage him. Hotch caught the hint, so he planted his feet on the ground and slowly started pulling his length out of me. When his tip was all I had inside of me, we kissed, then he thrust into me with a little more power. I moaned loudly. Hotch quickly put his hand over my mouth to keep me quiet. I pressed a kiss against his palm to let him know that I understood that I had to be quiet, but he didn’t release me because now he was on top, and my mild bratty attitude hadn’t gone unnoticed by him. He was in Dom space now. I could see it in his eyes. Melting in with the lust and love that filled his dark eyes was a red tint that screamed: “You’re mine.” And I loved it. I loved it and I let that tint put me in my place.

He snapped his hips back and forth again a few more times. With every thrust that passed, he increased his speed and power to the point that I was a moaning mess under his hand. Everything was so muffled, but he understood that I would’ve been screaming for him if I could. I loved him. I loved how he fit in me perfectly—that it didn’t matter that we had been together nearly six years because I was still so tight for him and only him. I was his. He was mine. We were us, and that was what mattered. Being back at home, reliving a few bad memories, talking about some people I would’ve rather forget about, none of that mattered while he was towering over me.

He leaned in close and let out a shuddered breath in my ear because he was close to moaning loudly, too. “I’m gonna cum,” he warned. I nodded against his hand, letting him know that I was close, too. “Fuck…” He started attacking my neck with his lips, leaving a mild hickey that hopefully wouldn’t start forming until we were gone. “Fuck, fuck, fuck—” There was his tell. “Y/N—” Before he could say anything else, my walls tightened around him as I tipped over the edge, encouraging him to cum, too. “Fuck!” he hissed against my skin.

“Sir,” I moaned against his hand. I bucked my hips to make sure both of us worked out our entire orgasms before slowing down and giving up. “Shit…” I slumped back, my body going limp.

He slowly pulled out of me and removed his hand from my mouth. “You okay?”

“Yes, Sir.”

“Your back?”

“I’m okay, baby, I promise.” I patted his chest. “Happy birthday, my love.”

“Thank you.” He sat up by pushing his hands on my hips, then he let go of me so that he could pull his pants up. “I don’t think we can use a towel…” he joked.

I rolled my eyes at him. “Ha. Ha.”

“Where the fuck did you throw my shirt?” he questioned while spinning in a circle to try and spot it. I giggled and reached over my head to retrieve it from the floor. I threw it at his face. “Brat,” he hissed after catching it. I smirked.

Hotch held his hand out for me, and when I took it, he carefully helped me up, keeping his eye on me to make sure that I wouldn’t break. I was still a bit sore, but it was manageable. I figured that since he was right about the towel thing, I’d have to make my way to the bathroom down the hall, and I would just grab a Motrin or something there, too.

After Hotch slid his arms back through his dark dress shirt, he moved to start buttoning it up, but I beat him to it by shooing his hands away and grabbing ahold of the hem of his shirt. As I reached the top button, my pinkie passed over the purple mark I made on his neck that was getting more and more obvious as the seconds flew by. I blushed and looked away. Hotch chuckled and lifted my chin by trapping it between his thumb and his curled index finger. My gaze met his again.

“Are you shy, baby?”

I nodded. He grinned and gripped my jaw hard. I gulped before biting my lip and feeling the way my legs gave out somewhat.

“Why, though? Weren’t you the one to mark Sir?”

I whimpered. “Yes, Sir.”

He brought me close to his lips, then lingered for a second, as if he were daring me to act out by kissing him quickly, but I obeyed by waiting. Maybe five years ago I would have given in, but now… with my parents and the kids downstairs… There wasn’t really any time, and our priorities were different. So, I waited for him to kiss me first. He smirked at my compliance, then slowly leaned in to press his lips against mine, barely even touching me at all before he pulled away.

“We should head home,” he whispered.

I whimpered. “I hate you…”

He grabbed my jaw harder. “Go clean yourself up.” He kissed me again, this time a little more passionately, then he turned to walk out and start wrangling the kids downstairs.

I let out a shaky breath as the room fell silent again. That was certainly one way to celebrate…

Once I cleaned myself up in the bathroom, downed a pain killer, then got dressed, I headed downstairs to see Hotch holding a passed out Scarlet in his arms. She was resting her chin on his shoulder while sucking on her thumb—a habit I thought we kicked about six months ago. Jack, on the other hand, was sitting on the floor in the living room while playing with Red and some of his other favorite toys. As I passed him, I kissed the top of his head. I asked if he was ready to go yet, and he nodded. I could tell that he was getting tired, and I knew that by the time we had him and Scar loaded up in the car, the two of them would be dead asleep for the whole drive home.

“Alright,” I began wrapping up the conversation Hotch was having with my parents, “I think it’s time to get them home.” Hotch agreed shortly before my parents gave in. “Thank you, guys, for looking after them today.”

“They were perfect,” my dad said.

“We’d love to have them back soon,” my mom added.

Please, no, I thought to myself, even though I was smiling and conceding. Hotch stood with Scarlet in his arms, and I kissed her temple while petting her hair. It was a miracle she lasted this long. I honestly thought that she was either going to pass out before dessert, or that dessert was going to give her a sugar high that would keep her up for the rest of the night. However, I had not anticipated that she would eat dessert and still be exhausted. I guess we got lucky.

“Oh, wait, I almost forgot!” Mom jumped to her feet and ran to the kitchen to grab something. I prayed that it wasn’t leftovers. When she returned, she was holding a wrapped gift in her hands. “Ken and I got this for you, Aaron.” She held it out for him.

Since his hands were full, he couldn’t necessarily accept it, so I offered to take Scarlet from him carefully to make sure that she wouldn’t wake up. When his hands were free, he took the gift. I watched as he eyed me for a second before starting to unwrap it.

“You guys didn’t have to do this,” he insisted politely. My mom and dad shook their heads like it was no big deal. As the wrapping fell apart, he found a black leather box in his hands. He found the zipper on the side and pulled it open. Hotch chuckled to himself. “You guys seriously didn’t have to do this.”

I peeked over his shoulder to see what it was that they got for him. It was a fancy travel-size shaving kit. It had an electric shaver, with the charging chord, it had a handheld shaver in case there was no plug-in sight, it had a full tube of shaving cream, moisturizer, aftershave, and so on. It was completely unnecessary. Like, ostentatious for no fucking reason. I almost wanted to chuckle, but it would’ve been rude, so I bit my lip and held back the urge.

“We know what it’s like to have to travel all the time for your job, so we just wanted to make sure you had a way to make sure that beard of yours never grows back,” my dad joked.

I finally let out a chuckle. “I miss the beard.”

“I don’t,” Hotch said, smiling. “Thank you both,” he said to them while zipping up the kit. “It means a lot.”

“Can we go home now?” Jack questioned, slowly stumbling into the room, rubbing his eyes with his fists.

“Yeah, buddy. You wanna say goodnight to Grandma and Grandpa?”

Jack shuffled another few steps towards my parents, and he hugged their hips lightly. After they hugged him back, he meandered towards his dad who kneeled down to let Jack crawl onto his back to carry him the same way JJ liked to carry Henry. Jack slumped against Hotch. He flung his arms around his dad’s neck and trapped his legs around his waist. When he was steady, Hotch stood up straight.

“Seriously, thank you both for tonight. We had a lovely time,” Hotch said to my parents.

“We’ll call you guys in a couple of days to see if you want to do this again,” I offered. Scarlet started fussing in my arms. “Okay, okay, we’re going.” Hotch and I slowly started making our way to the front door. Dad skipped around us so that he could hold the door open for us since we were a little pre-occupied. “I love you,” I said while passing him and kissing his cheek. He kissed mine, too.

“Drive safe,” he begged.

“We will.”

Hotch headed down the front steps, then turned to make sure I could navigate them safely while not being able to see around Scarlet. When I made it down, we walked side by side to the car. Since Scarlet was certainly smaller than Jack, I was able to balance her in one arm long enough to open the backseat to put her down and buckle her in quietly, then run around to the other side to help Hotch get Jack in since he passed out on our way to the car, too. When they were settled, I chuckled. They were still so young and innocent. I almost envied their ability to fall asleep so quickly and in such uncomfortable positions.

Hotch sighed and snaked his arms around my waist. “I love you.”

I rested my head back on his shoulder. “I love you, too.” I slowly spun around. “Happy birthday, baby.”

He kissed me. “Probably my best birthday yet.”

“Suck up.”

“I try.” He kissed me again until we both melted and smiled against each other’s lips.

-----

criminal minds family: @peggy1999​ @gorgeousdarkangel​ @alex--awesome--22​ @oceaneblu​​ @brithedemonspawn​​ @absolutemarveltrash​​ @bshelley322​​ @rousethemouse​ @sunshinepower17​ @weexinling​​ @pettttyyyc​​ @Braty-angel  @braxdix

[hazza-bear-care]

Stay Safe (1/3)

A/N: I FINALLY STARTED WATCHING CRIMINAL MINDS!!! Granted I am still on season 1, I feel a little more comfortable writing about the BAU crew. Dr. Reid is definitely my favorite so far, but there’s always room for improvement lol. Anyway, enjoy. PS my timeframe is all over the place. I described Spencer’s looks from the later seasons, but kept the season 1 characters because they’re the only ones I know right now lol. Sorry for the confusion, but I hope you guys enjoy it anyway!

Pairings: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader (oc)

Warnings: THREE CHAPTERS WORTH OF SMUT!!!! This one is light (fingering mostly, kinda public, dirty talk from Dr. Spencer Reid himself)

~~~~~~

Nova Calderon is a child psychotherapist born and raised in Baltimore, Maryland. After graduating from Towson University with her bachelor’s in criminal psychology and receiving her master’s from John’s Hopkins, she finally felt ready to start a job with the FBI’s Behavioral Analysis Unit. 

Shouldering her black leather satchel, File-O-Fax clutched tightly the grip of her left elbow, a blistering cup of coffee in her right hand, she nudged her way through swarms of people. Silently praying that she wasn’t late, Nova took a seat on the Metro and decided to flip through her portfolio: three years interning under the best of the best in the Pentagon, a permanent position following not long after. But, the Pentagon couldn’t sustain her for too long: by the time she finished a pile of reports, fifteen more showed up on her desk. She longed to do more than just basic homeland security. Nova always knew she wanted to work in the government, but she didn’t spend all that money and energy in school to be someone’s assistant. After those three years and six months, Nova had the opportunity to join the BAU after her boss had put in a good word with Jason Gideon about her work ethic as well as her interactions with the children that often passed through the halls whenever a higher-up decided to bring one in for fun or even school field trips. 

The train screeched to a halt and she assumed, quite correctly, that the current stop was hers. Jumping up from her seat and startling the creep sitting next to her and almost breaking his nose with her shoulder, she scrambled off the train and scurried through the streets of Quantico. Finally locating the right building, she entered and was immediately intimidated by the hustle and bustle happening around her. 

“Hi. I’m Nova Calderon. I have a meeting with a Jason Gideon?”

“Agent Gideon is out for today, but his associate Aaron Hotchner will be conducting your interview.” After listening to the instructions the receptionist gave her on how to find Aaron Hotchner, Nova straightened herself up and mentally prepared herself for how this interview would go. She walked through the double glass doors with a deep breath, and the people in the room went quiet. 

“Well, hello. How can I help you?” An attractive black man said from his desk, his jaw on the floor. 

“Um, I don’t think I’m in the right place. I’m looking for an Aaron Hotchner?”

“You’re in the right place, sweet cheeks. I’ll show you to his office.” The same man responded, his flirting skills leaving something to be desired.

“I was told to wait for a Jennifer Jareau?” Nova replied, trying very hard not to roll her eyes at the man attempting to approach her. 

“That’s me. I will show you to Agent Hotchner’s office. Follow me, please.” A cute blonde instructed, leading Nova up a ramp and to an office with a closed door. Jareau held a finger up, signaling for Nova to wait until the coast was clear. The brief pause allowed Nova to glance around at who she hoped would be her new coworkers: A dark haired woman who looked like she couldn’t be bothered with Nova, the same man that flirted with her just a few seconds ago, his nose now buried in a manila envelope as a way to hide his staring, another blonde girl who had a big smile on her face and shot Nova a thumbs up for luck, and a skinny man with curly hair and a little scruff not bothering to hide his wandering eyes. His gaze was almost scrutinizing, scraping up and down Nova’s body repeatedly. Their eyes met and immediately the two both felt a fire erupt on their cheeks as Hotchner’s door opened and Nova got roped in. 

~~~~~~

Three days later was Nova’s first official day. Agent Hotchner was incredibly impressed with Nova’s portfolio and resume. While working with children wasn’t something the BAU did regularly, it was still a good choice to have a child psychotherapist on the team. Just because the typical profiles include men in their 20′s and higher, doesn’t mean a child still can’t be involved. 

“Morning, Nova. Are you ready for your first day?” Elle asked from her desk, legs propped up on the flat surface as the team awaited further instruction. 

“I’m nervous, but yes, I’m ready.” Nova had gone through a sort of orientation, meaning she already had a gun strapped to her waist, which she wasn’t comfortable with just yet. Nova didn’t like guns, but in her line of work it was hard to do anything without a gun. She took a seat at her desk, which happened to be across from Spencer’s, and attempted to get comfortable. 

“You’re not used to your gun yet,” Spencer noticed as Nova shifted uncomfortably in her seat. 

“Wow, Reid, you are some profiler. I, uh, don’t like guns. Never have.” Nova remarked back.

“You don’t like guns? How the hell did you last so long at the Pentagon?” Derek asked.

“I was a secretary. I was never required to carry one. I did have one issued to me, but it was never loaded. The ability to fire a gun wasn’t a requirement for desk jobs.” The slight hint of annoyance in Nova’s voice was only caught by Spencer, but he didn’t say anything about it. Nova rubbed her eyes and tried to stifle a yawn. 

“Long night?” Elle asked.

“I couldn’t sleep because I was so excited. Ugh I sound like I’m 12 years old and waiting to go on my first field trip.” Everyone around her chuckled, but Nova didn’t notice that Spencer was no longer sitting across from her. A cup of coffee appeared on her desk along with a bottle of sugar and some creamer cups. 

“I didn’t know how you take it.” Spencer muttered as he sipped his own coffee and sat on his desk, rather than in his chair. 

“Wow. Um, thanks, Dr. Reid.” Nova whispered as she reached for the coffee and the supplies Spencer had gotten for her. 

“You can call me Spencer.”

“How come she and JJ get to call you by your first name, but we have to call you Reid?” Derek muttered, crossing his arms, almost like he was pouting. 

“Let me ask you something, Morgan: Are you a pretty girl?” Spencer asked, a serious look covering his face. Nova blushed and tried to discreetly cover her face. 

“No, Reid, I’m not. But are you saying that Elle isn’t pretty? Or Garcia?”

“No. They’re pretty. But they prefer to call me ‘Reid’. Right, Elle?” Elle nodded. 

“Thanks for calling me pretty, Reid.” Spencer shot Elle a small smile and nodded, further proving his point to Derek. 

“Yeah, I think Nova enjoyed it too. She’s as red as a stop sign.” Derek laughed as he teased the newest member of the BAU team. Nova covered her face even more by slamming her face down on her desk and wrapping her arms around her head. She didn’t know whether to laugh or cry at the light teasing, but she knew she could never look at Spencer with a straight face again. Nova felt someone rub her back in comfort, but she didn’t care to find out who it was. Then to everyone’s rescue, JJ walks in with a case. 

~~~~~

The case went smoothly, and Nova couldn’t have been more exhilarated. She had rescued three children from a serial sex offender who got off by murdering the people he raped. The gruesome pictures and the events leading to find the missing children exhausted Nova, yet she couldn’t fall asleep on the jet flying from Colorado to D.C. 

“Great work, Nova. I honestly didn’t think you’d be able to keep up with us.” Hotch commented, a slight smile gracing his lips. The older man adjusted himself in his seat as he quickly prepared to catch a few winks on the flight home.  

“Yeah, Nova. You did an amazing job,” JJ gushed, making herself comfortable. She was asleep in five minutes, leaving Spencer and Nova the only two awake.  Stifling a yawn yet again, Nova tried to make herself comfortable on the stiff plane seats without drawing too much attention to herself, but evidently failed as she had caught the gaze of a certain doctor. Spencer snapped his fingers, effectively getting Nova’s attention. Quirking his fingers, he gestured for her to join him in his seat. Nova blushed, scooting across the aisle and standing awkwardly in front of Spencer. With a smirk, the doctor hooked his arms around Nova’s waist and pulled her into his lap, securing a blanket around them. 

“What are you doing, Spencer?” Nova whispered, making herself comfortable on Spencer’s lap. 

“Shh. You don’t want everyone to wake up, do you?” Spencer whispered back, a slight smirk on his face as a response to Nova’s confused look. 

“Spencer, what are you--” Nova froze in her place as she felt Spencer’s hand creep up between her legs and find it’s home just a few inches away from her core. With wide eyes, she quickly looked around the jet, silently praying that everyone truly was asleep. 

“Don’t worry. As long as you’re quiet, no one will know what’s happening. Are you gonna be quiet for me, little girl?” Nova’s breath hitched in the back of her throat, the dirty words coming from the usually shy doctor quickly dampening her panties. Not trusting her voice, Nova nodded, not confident enough to make even a little bit of eye contact with the man holding her firmly on his lap. Spencer chuckled and placed a few sparse kisses around Nova’s face, avoiding her lips entirely. She let out a small whine when Spencer avoided her mouth for the fifth time, a rumbling in the man’s chest. Finally giving in, Spencer lightly placed his mouth on Nova’s, breath’s mingling just enough to make the girl wiggle on his lap. 

“Sit still,” Spencer growled, his erection becoming more prominent every time Nova moved. 

“Then kiss me, Reid.” Without further prompting, Spencer slammed his lips to Nova’s, tongues immediately dancing together. While still fully immersed in the kiss, Spencer took the opportunity to once again slide his hand up until his long fingers met the area Nova needed them most. A gasp radiated from her mouth into Spencer’s as she silently thanked whichever deity she believed in that her pantyhose stopped just before her knees, allowing the doctor to simply push her panties to the side and run his fingers along her slit.

“You’re so wet, little girl. Is all this for me?” Spencer whispered, the teasing tone in his voice thick with desire. Once again trying to keep quiet, Nova nodded and brought her lips back to Spencer’s. He chose to roll her clit between two fingers for just a few tantalizingly long seconds, his mouth snuffing out the sounds of her soft moans. In a flash of surprise, Spencer jammed two fingers inside Nova’s wet heat, the pair groaning simultaneously into their kiss. They quickly pulled apart as Nova choked out a breath, gluing her lips shut to prevent any noises from coming out. 

“Fuck, Spence. Go faster, please.” Burying her face in Spencer’s neck, he did as she asked, quickly speeding up his fingers and marveling at the squelching sounds her pussy was making around his fingers. He curled his fingers up and Nova gasped, melting into Spencer’s grasp as his fingers brushed against the soft spot that was buried so deep inside her tight heat. Nova clamped her hand over her mouth, smothering her moans, the sounds ever increasing in volume involuntarily. The hand that wasn’t buried in her pussy came up to her her mouth and smacked on top of hers, preventing more moans from slipping between her fingers. Spencer went impossibly faster, the sounds becoming more lewd the harder he buried his fingers in Nova. Her legs started shaking and her walls were clenching around Spencer’s fingers, signaling that she was close to the edge. 

“You’re close, aren’t you baby?” Spencer whispered in her ear, slamming his fingers ever deeper in Nova’s pussy, the girl trying very hard not to scream or thrash in his grasp. “Yeah, I can feel that your close. Come on, baby. I know you can do it. Go ahead, make a mess for me, Nova.” With that, she squeezed her eyes shut, dropping her jaw in a silent scream, both her hand and Spencer’s still covering her mouth as a precaution. Her legs shook furiously as Spencer kept moving his hand, helping her through her high and removing his hand from under the blanket, putting his fingers in his mouth. Nova watched with hooded eyes as her new coworker of a week sucked her climax off his long fingers. When he was finished, he planted his lips on Nova’s again in a heated kiss. Spencer pulled away and kissed the girl’s forehead, pressing his hand to her head and leading it to his shoulder, a silent prompt to sleep. 

“Spencer?” Nova whispered, still trying not to draw too much attention to the pair. 

“Hmm?” She could feel his throat vibrate as he hummed in response.

“What was that for? What does this mean?” Spencer smirked at her questions, his mind running equally as fast.

“I’ll tell you some other time, love. Just go to sleep.” Nova nodded and closed her eyes, mind running with images of a happy future with Spencer. She was asleep in 5 minutes, similarly to JJ. 

“Hey, lover boy. I’m glad you’re making a move and all, but how about making absolutely sure everyone is asleep before you finger a girl so good she’s practically screaming, okay?”

“Shut up and go to sleep, Morgan.” Spencer muttered angrily, blushing as Morgan ruffled his hair, chuckling. 

[danielleslegacy]

Greif || Spencer Reid x Reader

Request: yes / no Fandom: Criminal Minds

Summary: Based on the Episode “Nelson’s Sparrow”(10x10), or the episode where Gideon dies, a bit of insight into what was happening with Spence. 

Word Count: 2,248 

Warnings:  Panic attack, blood, medical talk, dead body?

Pairing: Reader insert x Spencer Reid

MASTERLIST 

All writing is my own, so please don’t steal this. Also, I would appreciate any feedback/comments/requests! xx

*GIF IS NOT MINE SO CREDIT GOES TO THE OWNER*

My chest tightens and anxiety overcomes me as I watch Spencer move through our house, a shell of the man he was mere moments ago, his phone still raised to his ear as whatever news that he is being given begins to digest. He eventually stops pacing and finishes the call and turns to face me. His eyes shine with unshed tears, his lips pulled into a straight line that begins to quiver and it’s like all the oxygen has been removed from the room.

“What happened Spence?” I ask softly, reaching my hand out to offer him support, resting it on his forearm.

“It’s Gideon,” He breathes, and his face changes, “There was a body found in his cabin,” His voice catches in his throat and I fill in the gaps. The man that Spencer had spent so much of his life looking up, the man that was practically his father, was probably dead.  

I reach my arms up to pull him into and embrace, allowing him to rest his body weight into mine. I feel his tears begin to trickle onto my shoulder and his body rack with sobs. I knew that this was something he would not be able to bounce back from quickly and that this would be something Spence was going to need support with.

“Shh,” I hush, trying to console him, “It’s all going to be okay, Spence, we don’t even know that it’s him yet.”

“They want us to go in, the BAU is consulting on this,” he says, pulling himself away from me, wiping his face and preparing himself for the rough few days ahead. He heads to our room and brings out each of our coats and slips mine over my arms and onto my shoulders.

“Spence, can we please just take a minute before we leave,” I say, watching as he builds his walls up around himself and places his own over his shoulders, “I need you to look at me for a second and breathe, you have to hold yourself together if we are consulting babe, we need your mind on this one.”

His eyes lift to mine, the grief is already swirling in them. I watch as he takes a deep breath, closes his eyes, and lets it out. “I’m ready.”

Spencer drives us to the cabin, knowing that we hadn’t been there since he left the BAU so many years ago but his amazing mind allowed him to know the directions without the gps. He takes a minute to compose himself after he parks, and i rub my hand across his shoulders. I wasn’t fortunate to meet the man, as I had joined the bureau after he retired, but I knew of him, not only by the stories the team had but also for his amazing work. Jason Gideon was a genius.

“Ready to go?” I ask softly, giving him the opportunity to take as much time as he needed. He nods, pressing his hands on the steering wheel and we step out and walk up and into the cabin.

The first people that we see are Rossi and Kate, soft smiles are exchanged from them, guided at Spence. JJ and I lock eyes, silently she asks me how he’s holding up, I shake my head in response. My eyes float down to the ground, as if this is the first time I have noticed the body draped with a sheet, my stomach turns knowing that hours ago the man was alive and now he’s dead. Before raking my eyes up to Hotch, his face gives everything away and I watch as Spencer’s lip quivers again as he tries to keep it together. I feel people enter the room behind us, but I cast my eyes to our unit chief.

“Are you sure?” I hear Penelope’s voice ask from the other side of Spence, and it’s almost like everyone holds their breath waiting for the answer, despite being pretty sure of what it is going to be.

Hotch's resolve falters and for the first time, I can see how truly sad he is, “It’s Gideon.”

I close my eyes, bracing myself for the news, tears gathering for the first time since the news had been broken to the team. Spencer lets out a choked sob from beside me and quickly turns and walks out the door, just after looking at the figure on the ground. We could all tell that this news was going to be hard for him to hear, but I also knew that the last time the man left how he barely held himself together. The group collectively follow the boy with their eyes, Derek takes a step to follow him, and I shake my head, mumbling that I’ve got it. I bury my hands into my coat pockets and follow after Spencer out the door.

He has barely made it fifteen feet when his knees go out from underneath him and he crashes to the ground. Dirt and mud stain the knees of his pants. His shoulders rack with sobs and hands plant firmly on the ground. I take quicker steps and am at his side a few seconds later. I take a seat on the ground in front of him and run my hands up and down his arms, letting him know that i'm just here.

“Oh baby,” I whisper, tears gathering in my eyes. The worst part about loving someone is when they are hurting and there's nothing you can do to make it better. Loving Spencer was as natural as breathing. It felt like it was an instant and I loved him, and that I fell incredibly hard for him. Loving him felt like every little thing I have ever done right has led me to him and being with him. And the person that is such a light in my life so broken and destroyed hurts my soul on a whole other level, if I could take all his pain away and put it on myself I would in a heartbeat. Spencer’s hands grip the dirt, trying to ground himself. His breath becomes laboured and sporadically.  “Breathe with me Spence.”

“Can’t-” He mutters, lifting his red eyes to meet with mine. I can practically feel his panic wrap around him and pull him away.

“Yes, yes you can,” I say pulling one of his hands out of the dirt and up to rest on my chest, “Feel my breath, babe. Match mine. I know you can do it.”

Spencer shakes his head as his eyes raise to meet with mine, he tries desperately to convey to me how scared he is. And eventually, along with a few deep breaths he’s calming down slowly.

“Thank you,” He says softly wiping his fingers under his eyes, then learning up to press his lips to my forehead, “He was like my dad, Y/n. I wanted to be him, he was incredible. You know the letter he left here for me? It was essentially the same as the one my father left for me when I was a child.”

My heart breaks in my chest and my stomach turns, “I wish I could make it better baby, I really do.”

He dusts his hands off on his pants and stands up, legs shaky beneath him. We make our way back into the cabin just in time for Hotch to be assigning everyone to different tasks. Derek, Spencer and I are all sent to the M.E, as we needed to know the cause and time of death as soon as possible.

“Cause of death was hypovolemic shock, due to ballistic trauma,” the small asian woman says, and I hear Spencer suck in a breath from beside me, “Three points of entry, left shoulder, right abdominal wall, and right temporal.”

“Did he suffer?” Morgan asks, and my eyes snap up to his face, why would he ask that.

“Not for long, no,” The woman replies and I let out the breath I had subconsciously been holding thankful that the man hadn’t suffered. Morgan knew that Spencer needed to hear that the man didn’t suffer, “His brain stopped working before he was able to process his last breath.”

Morgan and I both look towards Spence, a vacant look on his face. He’s not listening to what’s being said, his eyes are locked on the body on the table, specifically focused on the deep crimson splotches on the sheet.

“After the final shot he was gone within a fraction of a second,” She finishes, noticing the tension rising in the room.

“Would you excuse us, please?” Morgan asks, she nods and glances across each of our faces, giving me a forced smile and exiting the room. I cross my arms over my chest, suddenly freezing within the room.

“Did you hear any of that?” He asks, stepping into the view of the younger man. I take a step back from the two, watching them interact. Morgan and Spence have a relationship that I could never begin to explain, if Spencer and I were soulmates so were the boys. “He didn’t suffer.”

A tear falls from Spencer’s eye, but before it’s there too long he has reached a shaky hand and tissue up to his face to remove it.  Morgan reaches out to clasp his shoulder, trying to offer him some comfort. I take a step forward unable to let him cry without knowing that I’m with him, my hand rests on his back softly. Morgan’s eyes meet mine and he gives me a soft smile.

“Listen to me, listen to me,” Derek begins, “Sometimes you put up these walls and you block us out, and you can’t do that, not right now.” A sniffle falls from Spencers lips.

“We need you, Spence,” I say softly. I move my hand down to link ours together. He gives my hand a quick squeeze letting me know silently that he has heard us.

“Gideon needs you,” Morgan finishes, “I’m going to step right out there and when you’re ready, let’s go get this son of a bitch.”

Spencer nods his head and when I go to follow Morgan out the door, his hand tightens around mine, “Please.” He says voice hoarse, thick with tears.

“Anything you need,” I say, firmly planting myself at his side. He silently cries beside me, and collects himself for what seems to be the hundredth time in the few short hours it had been since that phone call.

The rest of the day moves in a blur, Spencer completes the case shell of the man he normally is. He kept muttering about “one more game”, and once the unsub, Donnie Mallick is dead, he begins to allow himself to feel the grief.

It’s later, driving back from the crime scene that he speaks about him next, Rossi and I patiently listen and allow the man to talk and grieve.

“I just always thought I would see him again, “ He begins, voice shaking slightly, “I’d just really like to play one more game of chess with him,” He swallows, “I know I’m not being very rational, and I know that I haven’t seen him in a really long time but I think about him all the time and I knew he was always out there and now it just feels empty.”

“Yeah, but time will pass and slowly you'll forget how much it hurts,” Rossi says, he’s not trying to take away the pain, simply rationalise it for the boy, “And maybe you’ll find something else to fill that empty space.”

“I don’t want to find something else,” Spencer says defensively, as if Rossi is trying to take away the memory of the man.

“It won’t replace him,” I say, causing Spencer to glance back at where I’m sitting in the back seat, “Your memories and time with him made you who you are today and he would be so beyond proud of the man you’ve become Spence. He is a part of who you are, on a fundamental level and nothing will change that.” He nods softly.

Later that night when we are curled up on the couch Spencer’s head rested on my lap and my fingers tangled in his hair. I look down to the man and observe his face. For the first time in days he looks completely relaxed, his brows aren’t furrowed and he isn’t frowning.

“I don’t want to cry about it anymore,” He mumbles, probably noticing that I’m looking at him.

“I know,” I whisper back.

Spencer sits up and faces me, “When will it stop hurting?” He asks me, a childlike expression on his face, asking a question no one could possibly know the answer too.

“It’s going to be hard for a while, and that’s okay, but it will get easier and eventually when he is mentioned it won’t feel like your heart is being ripped from your chest. You’ll smile and laugh you think of him and tell his stories to your kids and keep his memory alive.”

“Our kids,” He says simply, linking his hand with mine, pulling me into his lap.

“Hm?” I mutter slightly confused on what he meant.

“I’ll tell his stories to our children,” He says pressing his lips to my forehead. My only response is a nod of my head.

“Yes baby, our children,” I say back, and just like that I know that he’s going to be okay.

~

A/N: I cried writing this cause i had to rewatch scenes of Spence crying and if that doesn’t tell you something about my mental health then what does

Taglist: (Let me know if you want to be tagged!) 

@saucybeeches​

[6rookie-writer0110]

Breathe, pilot inspector

Reader x Bat Family

Request - For said Kingdom imagine, the Reader can be one of the following: Kingdom!Superman's son/daughter (so add "dead mom" onto that trauma list), Kid Flash (who is also Kingdom!Flash's son/daughter), a member of the Kingdom!Batfamily, a member of the Kingdom!Wonderfamily, a member of the Kingdom!Titans, or a hero of their own right. how about a story where Reader (Male or female;

You can randomize or just use gender-neutral pronouns) is a hero from the Arrowverse's version of The Kingdom who ends up (on The Flash's Earth/on Supergirl's Earth/with the Legends) and joins with them on a mission, but is haunted by the fact they're receiving signs of the incoming Crisis?

Lately, you have been having trouble sleeping and you are not sure why. You have been having bad dreams, you haven't told anyone about it. You try not to stress about it but you are.

You live in the mansion with Wayne and Selina Kyle. You grew up in a privileged lifestyle, but Bruce and Selina most times we're busy. But they tried to make time for you but wasn't easy, but Alfred always took care of you. On holidays, he would write Bruce and Selina’s names on gifts but you knew it was Alfred’s signature.

”Where are you going?” Dick asked.

”Going out but I will be back soon,” You said.

”Don’t take long. We have to meet the legends and Supergirl” Dick said.

”I know,” You said.

You leave on your motorcycle. Dick has told you that Barry is trying to build a team to defeat The Anti-Monitor. Throughout the years, you have seen Bruce be a mentor to others. You did become a hero but you didn't want to Bruce mentor you.

You get off your motorcycle and you walked inside the store. It's a fortune teller store, small place, with neon lights on the window, a black cat stares at you. On the door the sign says it closed, but you still went inside.

”We are closed!” She yelled.

”Madame Xanadu, I was told you can help me,” You said.

”Y/N Wayne, about time you come to see me,” Madame Xanadu said.

”Yeah, you those crows didn't take no for an answer,” You said.

”Come closer, my child. Do you want tea?” Madame Xanadu said.

”Sure,” You said.

For two weeks, crows have been bugging you to see her. You followed the clues to find her and you saw her in your dreams. You sit down and she gave you the cup of tea and she sits across from you.

”Now my child, tell me your questions,” Madame Xanadu said.

”How do you even know my name?” You asked.

”I can see the future. I know everything about you, I know you been having trouble sleeping. Your mother died when you were twelve and she was killed by the Joker, he almost killed you. But you don't like your father’s girlfriend Selina, you haven't opened up to her. You don't like her at all” Madame Xanadu said.

Your eyes opened wide.

”No way, you can know that,” You said.

Since your mother died, everything changed for you. You barely spoke to anyone about what you feel. Dick and the others became too busy being heroes. You were going to kill the Joker but he escaped. You don't care what anyone says, one day you will kill the Joker.

--

” It's written in the cards for us to meet. The worlds across the multiverse are in trouble, you are the only one who can save us” Madame Xanadu said.

”My dreams, I see many people dying even people I never met. I wake up in the middle of the night, I sweat and I always feel terrified to live or tell anyone about it” You said.

”Infinite Crisis is here. Every earth will be destroyed, you are the only one with answers” Madame Xanadu said.

You shake your head.

”That can't be. I'm not a hero anymore. I couldn't save my mom now I have to save the whole universe! I can't...” You said.

”You will do it. Your mother would want you to do this” Madame Xanadu said.

You start to cry because you miss your mom.

-----

”This means I can see the future? I can't have powers. No one in my family has powers” You said.

She grabbed your hands and she sees the abilities you will have.

”Mastery of magic. Your mother, grandfather, and your ancestors all mastered magic. Your mother didn't tell you, because she was protecting you from someone dangerous. You must accept your abilities to see the future in order to save everyone” Madame Xanadu said.

”If I don't?” You asked.

”Infinite Crisis will end everyone including you,” Madame Xanadu said.

She kept talking about why you should accept your abilities.

✧ ✯ ✧ ✫

You keep thinking about what she said. Back at the mansion you and the others go to Prime earth. Kate introduced you to everyone when you touched Oliver's hand then you got a psychic vision. You see everyone is dead including your family.

”Y/N are you okay?” Bruce asked.

You didn't say anything and you just ran away. Everyone is confused about what just happened.

You are in the bathroom washing your face. Your heart is racing then you get another psychic vision. This time you can see everything.

You can see The Anti-Monitor killing Bruce and Jason. You see dead bodies everywhere and you are nowhere in sight. The Anti-Monitor does sinister laughter and Sara is gasping for air and she is losing blood fast. You see her eyes and she begs for help.

Bruce knocked on the door and the vision is gone. You are breathing hard and your heart is beating fast like crazy.

”Y/N what's wrong?” Bruce asked.

”I-I”

You start to stutter and he can see you are freaking out. He starts to rub your back to calm you down.

”Breathe in and out” Bruce said.

You start to breathe in and out. He waits for you to say something.

”I can see the future. I saw everyone be killed by The Anti-Monitor and I wasn't around” You said

”Since when you can see the future?” Bruce asked.

”For a while now. I didn't tell anyone because I didn't want anyone to think I'm crazy. You don't seem freaked out” You said.

”Your mother had the same ability. I was going to tell you when you first had your first vision. But you didn't tell me and I understand. We should tell the others, we have the upper hand fighting against The Anti-Monitor” Bruce said.

You sighed and agreed with him. You told them about your abilities and they want you to help. But you said no and walked away.

-----

Everyone went to fight The Anti-Monitor. You haven't fully accepted your powers and you keep getting new visions. Snart walked in to grab his gun.

”I thought you left” You said.

”I was grabbing my gun. Only because you can see the future doesn't mean you can’t change it. I don't have powers and I don't understand what you are going through. My team, we always mess up the timeline but doesn't mean we give up, we will try to fix it even if it means messing up again over and over” Snart said.

”I didn't think about it like that” You said.

”You only kept thinking that you can't do anything to change the future. I have to go now” Snart said.

You watched him leave and you know that he is right.

----

Again you start to remember what Madame Xanadu said about your abilities. You must accept it in order to change the future.

”I won't be scared anymore” You said.

You take out a picture of your mom and you stare at it.

”Wish you were here helping me,” You said.

You put the picture away.

”Gideon, help me create my suit” You said.

”Of course, Y/N” Gideon said.

You and Gideon race against time to create your suit.

✧ ✯ ✧ ✫

Everyone is losing against The Anti-Monitor but they won't give up. You have on your new suit, usually, you wouldn't pick those colors but you didn't have enough time, literally. The mask is red and white and the rest is light navy blue along with red and white. You did a superhero landing and everyone is surprised to see you.

”It’s about time!!” Jason yelled.

”Shut up!” You yelled.

Jason glared at you and you glared back at him. You see The Anti-Monitor, everything is playing out like in the visions you had.

You haven't had enough time to learn your magic. But you start to save everyone, you used the Batman Batarangs to distract him and save the others. The Anti-Monitor starts to attack you but you can dodge his attacks. They got the perfect moment and you helped them with the infinite shrinking prison gadget. It worked and everyone is happy about it.

✧ ✯ ✧ ✫

After saving the world, Barry created the justice league and asked you to join. But you said no to his offer for now.

”Why did you say no?” Kate asked.

”I’m going to be trained by Dr. Fate to understand my magic and get stronger” You said.

”So, we won't see you for a while?” Kate asked.

”Yeah. I don't know how long it will take but I will be back soon. He is the only one who can help me understand my powers” You said.

”I get it, Y/N. I will call you to check up on you now and then” Kate said.

”I’m okay with that” You said.

Kate hugged you. At the mansion, there is going away party for you. You hugged everyone and everyone is at the party. Alfred hugged you and you will miss him.