#jaskier's first time

[astaldis]

Shimmering Scales and Stormy Seas

Prompts: Shimmering scales, mermaid, seduction

Rarepair Bingo Challenge: Type in a new pairing

Fandom: The Witcher (all media types)

Rating: Explicit, No Archive Warnings Apply

Category: F/M

Relationship: Jaskier/Mermaid

Additional Tags: First Time, Oral Sex, Sex with a mermaid, POV Jaskier | Dandelion, Smut

Words: 800

Summary: This is the story of Jaskier's first time. Decide yourself if it is true or just a tall tale.

Warning: slight NSFW under the cut!

“Mm, you taste good, human," she says in this euphonious version of the Elder Speech he only understands half of, if he understands it at all. However, it is so melodious and pleasing to the ear that she could say something like ‘I’m going to eat you neck and crop’ and he would still find it sexy as hell. Anyway, even if she were going to eat him alive, there is nothing he could do about it, mesmerised as he is by not only her exceptional beauty and her sing-songy voice, but also by what she is doing. He cannot really see it at the moment for her flowing, celadon green hair is all over his lower body - his very naked lower body - but he can feel it. And how he can feel it! Her lips are of the same light green colour as her nipples, and they are moving up and down his cock in a way that gives him the holy shivers. Who would have thought he would end up lying on the beach at dawn having his first time with a fucking mermaid? He definitely did not imagine anything like it when he rowed over to the island to have a look at the famous mermaid rock. Just for curiosity’s sake, of course, and because of the heartbreaking poetry of the legend, not because he believed for one second that mermaids actually exist. Now he does. And how they exist!

Continue reading on Ao3: 

https://archiveofourown.org/works/46510078

@smubbles-etc​

@witchermonstermayhem​

@cake-shop-rarepair-bingo​

[thelostgirl21]

Joey Batey: is trained in fencing, kick boxing, medieval sword fighting, and stage combat...

Joey Batey: has kept asking if Jaskier can be given a weapon on the show, only to be answered "no" (they did make him a very nice giant dildo war hammer, though)...

Meanwhile, Sirens of the Deep:

[pickleforstony]

Ride, Witcher, Ride.

[ladycibia]

another day, another Jaskier

[headcanonthings]

Save a horse, ride a Witcher.

-Jaskier, probably

[jaskefer]

Obsessed with the idea of Extraordinary Things being a back and forth between Jaskier and Radovid, with Jaskier trying to draw him out in the first verse, and Radovid finally answering him in the second.

Cause like, with Radovid, Jaskier meets someone who he can't fully read properly. He knows there's something under the front of a drunken, bumbling prince, but he doesn't know him well enough yet to be certain as to what.

So, he tests the waters a bit. throws out a line to see if Radovid will take it—and he does. A little bit. But it's so interesting to me, because it doesn't just feel like Jaskier is trying to nail down Radovid's truth in this verse; it feels like he's injecting elements of his own mask into it, as well.

"Keep your words on ice, your gaze lights the fire. They say 'keep on playing nice,' but I have no desire. Why waste our words when lips were made for extraordinary things? It's not a want, it's a need, it is paying no heed to what others say to sing."

This is Jaskier's read of Radovid as he knows him so far: a man hiding more complex wants beneath the veneer of a drunken party boy. But it's also Jaskier admitting that he knows this about Radovid because he wears the exact same mask himself.

Much like how Jaskier and Ciri speak through Geralt and Yennefer in order to process their own feelings about them later in the season, Jaskier sings through himself in order to comprehend who Radovid is. Jaskier is using the performative persona he's crafted for himself in an attempt to coax Radovid out of his.

All of it leads into the main intention of this song: "The greatest songs are made up of unspoken words of love. Of them, I've had enough. with you, I am enough." I am tired of having to put up a front. I want to be understood. I think you understand me. Prove me right.

And Radovid sees what Jaskier is doing. He comments on Jaskier's ability to see people for who they are and not who they pretend to be. But there's still more he wants to understand. This still feels like a game, in a way.

It's only after Radovid sees the brutality of Dijkstra and Philippa up close, watches them orchestrate the assassination of the queen and threaten to incriminate him if he doesn't fall in line, that he then grasps the vulnerability in Jaskier's lyrics. Jaskier is also caught between multiple conflicting desires, that of his loyalty to Geralt/Yen/Ciri, and that of his work as the Sandpiper & how said work is backed by his continued commitment to Redanian Intelligence. That internal conflict and the desire to escape it is also highlighted in the song's first verse ("they say keep on playing nice, but i have no desire"). Only after all of this, when true fear begins to take over and the game stops being fun, does Radovid truly begin to truly understand Jaskier.

And so, he seeks him out. And he responds.

“Drop the sweet disguise, your heart’s beating too loud. The fairytales and little lies can’t drown out all the sound.” You were right. I do understand you. I know what you really want, because we're the same. You can’t hide it behind a façade of a song and a story and a persona.

“Take this heart and break this heart for extraordinary things.” I don't know what will become of this, or us. I still don't fully know if we can trust each other. But no one has ever seen me in the way that you have.

It's not a want, it's a need. With you, I am enough.

[seaoffandoms]

i have screamed the biggest scream that i have ever scrumpt

[roughentumble]

btw au where geralt gets amnesia and doesnt remember jaskier is his husband of 10 years

[ghostlylicious]

i kind of ship netflix jaskier with book jaskier

[gossip-girl-of-middleearth]

Am I correct in thinking The Witcher Season 3 is going to drop on Netflix in, like, 15 minutes or am I still just an entire hemisphere ahead of everyone and have to wait until the Americans/Brits/Other People That Way wake up...?

[thelostgirl21]

Being Jaskier's nemesis when he's sober during a monster attack involves...

Being immediately shoved to safety as soon as the monster shows up...

Having Jaskier protectively stand in front of your hiding spot with a makeshift weapon...

...looking fierce!

Him fussing over you and checking if you'll be okay, before sacrificing his only weapon to allow you to defend yourself while he goes to check on one of your friends.

You two suddenly looking like a cute pair of dabbling ducks foraging for food.

Being Jaskier's nemesis when he's heartbroken and drunk involves...

[eggcompany]

Yeah I'm writing MORE of what no one wants/asked for

CAUSE I WRITE FOR MYSELF

[femmefaggot]

person on the bus never wears headphones or cares to like it is almost 11 at night GO BUY A CHEAP ASS PAIR I HATE YOU

[mvnces]

was it... okay? / Jask @ Ilya hehehe

Once they were cleaned up and settled, Ilya was quick to curl an arm around Jaskier's middle and tuck his face into the back of his neck. It seemed that he was already starting to doze off in those couple of seconds after that before Jaskier's question came. Cat eyes slowly blinked back open before squinting slightly, the gears in his head turning as the question slowly sunk in.

If it were not for the fact that he was almost asleep, he might have been more aware of the flush of warmth spreading across his cheeks. A little noise of consideration came from the back of his throat before he was pressing his lips against the nape of the bard's neck.

"It was wonderful," Ilya murmured against the skin of the other man's neck. The arm around Jaskier's middle tightened its grip to drag him back to fit more snuggly against his chest. "Was it... good for you?"

[angst-fairygodmother]

What are your feelings now that The Witcher has cast a canon Valdo Marx?

Complicated. Conflicted. Confused.

On the one hand, I am looking forward to Jaskier having someone to banter off of/face off with that is his equal. I know he's been on a slow level-up path, but he's still outclassed by Witchers and Sorceresses and etc. Plus, I think having more regular people and intrigue could be really interesting for plot direction. (The actor they chose is also quite pretty, so I can't complain there either). And I assume as a bard they cast someone who, like Joey, can sing with the best of them, and that gives me great hope for a Bard-Off and/or some fantastic season 3 songs.

On the other hand, there are already So. Many. Characters. and I don't think, as someone who is essentially a canon foreigner, Valdo is necessary. Jaskier vs Cahir would still be a battle of the Regular™ Men. Jaskier has at this point earned his ability to go toe to toe with spymasters and generals I think. It would be a better way to highlight his skill and how one of the things that makes him dangerous is that he's underestimated.

I also think that casting Valdo is an attempt to cash in on the love we all have for him among the fandom. But the thing that makes him loveable is that he's such a blank slate and there can be 1000 wildly different takes, and all of them make us go "Yup. Classic Valdo." You know, for example some of us write him as Jaskier's rival, or Jaskier in a moustache, or Jaskier's ex. Some of us have reinterpreted him as a jerk with a heart of gold and made him into a love interest for an OC or reader-insert. Some of us made him the Phantom of the Opera. And all of us were correct. Except now, none of us are?

There is also a little part of me that wants to respond to the casting by deleting all of my Valdo fics, and then maybe rewriting them to fit the show Valdo if I decide I like him, but that's probably the imposter syndrome talking.

[wollemi-whump]

seeing tons of gifsets and non-audial posts for a fandom and then actually hearing the characters speak is wild like wow u sound way different than ive been imagining