#jaskier being jaskier

[thelostgirl21]

I can't believe Milva never realized that Jaskier was totally baiting her...

Like, you're a badass warrior with a very protective streak that pretends not to give a damn about him, yet hovers around Geralt like a freaking mother hen, fretting about his safety and survival!

And Jaskier wrote the damn songbook on "emotionally stunted arseholes that say they don't want to get involved yet always do, and pretend like they don't care what happens to you while going out of their way, and being willing to sacrifice themselves to keep others safe".

Of course Jaskier won't try to stop Geralt, nor do anything that might suggest he's actually useful, Milva!

Why should Jaskier try to reassure you that Geralt has someone remotely competent watching after him - and relieve you of some of your concerns for him - when the more worried you are over his survival and safety, the more likely you are to actually get involved and look after him?

Jaskier is his emotional support bard. Otherwise, the biggest help he can provide Geralt is by influencing other people around him.

Since becoming his friend, Jaskier has changed Geralt's public image, made him appear more sympathetic, gotten people to trust and love him, pay him better wages for his services, prevented certain situations from escalating, have used his own charm and presence to make them more amenable by counter-balancing Geralt's more acerbic approach, helped him gain more resources, friends, and contacts, etc.

And the moment Jaskier noticed that "very weird energy between you two", he decided that Geralt needed you, and you'd be coming with them.

So, until the day Jaskier feels safe enough to know that, should anything happen to him, you'll continue to have Geralt's back and look after him, he likely won't allow you to fully see how smart and sane he's always been.

It's not that he didn't agree with you that Geralt wasn't ready to leave. It's not that he didn't think you were right.

It's just that he and Geralt were already a team, you weren't.

But you two needed to become one.

Why would he have tried to stop him, when you were there to do it?

Why would he have attempted to argue with Geralt that he was being unreasonable, when he needed Geralt to learn to listen to you and rely on you? Especially when he isn't there.

He was purposefully staying out of the way so that Geralt and you could build your own relationship. So that you two could learn to properly care about each other, trust each other, and work together.

The single most useful thing Jaskier could do for Geralt was "being useless", thus allowing you to become useful.

That bard was playing you like a lute, and not even bothering to be subtle about it.

He was being smart enough not to get involved in those moments, so you could.

Jaskier is friend enough to acknowledge that, sometimes, he may not be the friend that Geralt most actively needs, and thus value and nurture the bonds Geralt might find himself building with other people.

He was stepping out of your way so you could both help each other heal, Milva.

It was enough for him to simply be there to provide Geralt with a familiar source of unconditional love, support and strength, but otherwise facilitate your own involvement with him.

[spielzeugkaiser]

It's about! the found family!!

[whumpypepsigal]

you would have to sedate me i’m sorry

[rebrandedbard]

How does the great Sandpiper successfully smuggle 130 children out of the Nilfgaard-occupied territory of Hamm? With the power of a forgotten story, a traditional song, and a masterful lie.

A piece for my upcoming fic, The Piper of Hamm, based on The Pied Piper of Hamelin, next in my fairy tale series.

[patroclusdefencesquad]

he's just like me fr

[geraskierfanficprompts]

Before the Sacking, some noble houses would sponsor witcher schools. It was a show of wealth and prestige, which also had the added benefit of putting one's territories higher on the witchers' list of priorities.

Of course, the sponsors abandoned them when the witchers' numbers dwindled too low to prioritize any territory.

Thus, it was a shock to all of the wolves when they received a letter from the Viscount of Lettenhove offering them a sponsorship contract. Was this a joke? A twisted plot to kill the rest of them? Did this Viscount know they couldn't possibly offer him any sort of special treatment?

Despite their doubts, the wolves sent a representative to Lettenhove. Geralt was the most likely to survive a trap, and his reputation couldn't possibly get lower if he had to fight his way out.

Geralt braced himself for the worst. He had his guard up as he arrived in Lettenhove, as he was received graciously, as he met the surprisingly young and handsome Viscount.

"You must be tired from your long journey. I have a bath and food prepared."

"I'd rather see to the contract first."

The Viscount placed a sheet of parchment before him, and Geralt read the contract. He read it again. A third time to be sure.

"What the fuck is this?!?" Geralt growled.

"I thought the conditions reasonable."

"It's completely one-sided!" Geralt waved the contract in his face, like that would help the Viscount see the situation clearer. "You can't be serious!"

The contract, if you could even call it that, basically guaranteed an allowance for the wolf school and safe lodging for them in Lettenhove or any of the Viscount's properties.

In exchange for...stories. The wolves would have to visit the Viscount to tell him about their hunts.

What the fuck?

"I am deadly serious," the Viscount responded, and Geralt could tell it was the truth. "You see, witcher, I have an excess of responsibilities, so I lack the freedom to travel. However, I have the means to pay someone to share their experiences with me. I thought 'why not pay someone who actually needs the money?' You witchers are famously underpaid."

Geralt stared at the noble uncomprehendingly. If the Viscount was looking for entertainment, Why not hire a bard instead?

"Should you need time to consider it, you may stay as long as you like. Your rooms--"

"We'll sign."

The Viscount's proper facade cracked, and the man beamed like a child. "REALLY?!?"

Geralt nodded. He couldn't understand the Viscount, but he also couldn't deny that he and his brothers needed the money.

I LOVE THIS I LOVE THIS I LOVE THIS!!!

[gossip-girl-of-middleearth]

Jaskier and Geralt finally making it to the coast in season 3 but with Ciri and Yen as Plus Ones is akin to making plans with your lover on a cross-country road trip at 20-years-old only to achieve said plans two divorces and three children and a mortgage later in your early 50’s

[toss-a-coin-to-your-stan-account]

no bc nothing that will happen in what's left of the witcher will ever top the raw unadulterated You Had To Be There Moment of being a yennskier enjoyer watching s2 for the first time when it came out after only having yennefer & jaskier bonding in the form of blood of elves and post-s1 fandom content and being Absolutely Fucking Blindsided by such high undiluted amounts of yennskier that I ended the season feeling like every single fucking person in this goddamn house md screenshot at once

[pickleforstony]

Baby, it's cold outside.

[thedemonofcat]

Six months have passed since Jaskier last saw Geralt, and yet people continue to abduct him in hopes of luring the witcher.

In that time, Jaskier has been captured by bandits, creatures, and sorcerers, all eager to use him as a trap for Geralt. He's managed to escape each time through sheer luck, as he's not quite ready to face Geralt again.

Meanwhile, Geralt keeps setting out to rescue Jaskier, only to discover that the bard has already slipped through someone's fingers.

[spielzeugkaiser]

How it started-

How it's going!! They are a family and I am!!! also draw the hug you want to see in the show but they are forgiven because them meeting in brokilon was still soooo tender my HEART-

[wren-of-the-woods]

Okay but why did Jaskier have two spoons in the prison in season two? Did the prison meal just... come with two spoons? Did he barter with a guard for a second one? Has he been there long enough to have multiple meals with multiple spoons??

[thebabygronckle]

i need a geraskier fic entirely from cirilla's perspective thats just abt her discovering dadlore in the most nonchalant situations and losing her shit about it

[hannibard]

"Does the witcher know how lucky he is to have you?" being asked right after Jaskier sang a heart-wrenching love song is killing me 🥺😭

[my-jokes-are-my-armour]

Jaskier and physical contact

I don't know why but I have a little headcanon about Jaskier being touch deprived, so I am always a little bit alert when another character actually touches him.

At the very beginning of my blog, I made a series of "50 shades of expressions" about Jaskier. I am extending it to another kind of compilations. And there will be other characters from the witcher in it.

But I begin of course by our national bard 🥰

Pushed away - Brought back to reality- Hugged dearly - Tortured - Supported - Caressed - Stopped - Helped - Threatened

Bonus : from the mouvement, I guess Radovid grabbed his hand. I wish they showed us 🥲.

[geraskierfanficprompts]

Prompt 109

Geralt is a witcher. Cats tend to distance themselves from witchers. Sometimes Geralt wonders what cats are like. So one day he asks. "Cats are lovely. Beautiful little sweethearts." The old woman who owns the inn says to him. "Cats are annoying varmints, always yowling in the middle of the night when they're in heat, they SCREAM their little heads off, can't catch a wink of sleep with them around!" A man passing by him in the market complains, with the anger of someone who has clearly thought about this a lot. "My cat isn't the biggest fan of being touched, but she's a good girl. Catches the mice." "They're evil little hellions, nothing compared to dogs. Don't even like their owners." "I'd like 'em a whole lot more if my way of living wasn't being a fisherman. They climb in at night and steal my best catches." "They're adorable!" "My cat is the cuddliest sweetest snuggliest little kitty to ever live, I think. Nobody will ever love me as much as he loves me." "My friend has a kitten! She already knows to chase the feathers we wave in front of her! I hope she still plays when she grows up." Opinions are varied in the town, but the majority seem to love them. He wants to know what they're like, not if they are liked. He sits down with a friendlier townie one afternoon and asks in detail what cats are like. What's great about them, what's bad about them, what do they like, what do they hate, what can they do, what have they done? The more she describes cats, however, the more Geralt can't help but be reminded of Jaskier. "They're playful. They love making noise and chasing things."

"Geralt, please, can't I play my lute? It's been fourteen whole minutes of SILENCE! Let me play a song!" "Why do you stay?" "Maybe I just like following you, Geralt. It's nice only having to pay for half of everything, after all."

"They're moody little things. Cats will want to cuddle you one second, and be left alone the next, and if you can't read their mind, they'll give you an annoyed little pouty face, as if you were meant to know better!"

"Geralt, do you mind if I...?" "If you what?" "Sit here?" "...My lap?" "That is where I'm sitting, yes. May I?" "...Mm." "Great thanks!~" "Geralt, you pissing idiot! I can't believe you! Don't touch me! Don't even look at me! How could you do something so so so SO stupid!?" "This is my job, Jaskier." "And apparently sewing up your arm is mine!" "I can take care of it." "Oh, I'm meant to just trust the man who went off and got mauled by a werewolf, then?"

"They enjoy a good sleep. Cats nap more than my old man, if you can believe it. They love comfort and luxury."

"Geralt, can't we stay at an inn? It's been so long." "Can we rest? Just for a bit? Pleaaaase? I want a nap. Don't I deserve it?" "Geralt, not to be ungrateful, but I think sleeping on the dirt would be better than this inn. Don't tell me you're making us sleep here. There's probably snakes nesting in the pillows."

"But at the same time, they love the grittiest bits of the outdoors. Chasing rabbits through tunnels, climbing trees after a songbird- My childhood cat used to dive in the swamp to catch frogs."

"Geralt, taking a shortcut through the bog is the easiest way to get to the competition in time! Now hurry along! Either I cross the bog alone, or you come with me!" "Geralt, I went looking for potion ingredients while you were skinning the deer!" "Geralt, are you going to cut the damn thing's head off or what? Wait, darling, are you alright? Are you hurt? Let me do it-"

"They sometimes bring you dead critters because they want to feed you. It's oddly very endearing."

"Geralt, I bought you some honey buns!" "I found some lovely cakes, do you want one, Geralt? You haven't eaten at all today." "I- I killed it. It was coming straight for you and I panicked. Am I bleeding? I can't quite tell because of the adrenaline, so am I bleeding or not, Gerelt? Can you tell me? Are YOU bleeding? Did I get it in time?" "I got so many tips last time I played, Geralt, you can get a bigger meal."

"They get themselves into trouble a lot, though. Places they shouldn't be, things they shouldn't touch, things they shouldn't eat."

"Geralt, I didn't mean to cause all of this. I'm sorry." "It's nothing, Jaskier. I'm just glad you're unharmed." "...Um... Geralt? Can you let go of my wrists now?" "Don't. Touch. Anything. The plant's spines are poisonous." "Jaskier, spit it out! SPIT IT OUT! I told you to stop fucking eating things in Yennefer's place" "Then why was it colored like a nice candy?"

"When they're scared or angry, they can make a right mess out of you. Don't let their cuteness fool you, they can do some damage."

"What else was I supposed to do, Geralt?" "Not punch him!" "He said you were a monster!" "I am!" "Do you want me to punch YOU?" "Geralt, I lost my dagger. It was in one of the bandits we chased away." "Geralt, will you teach me how to use a sword? Nothing fancy, just how to kill something."

"But above all, they're loyal, and loving. Ever so lovely. They'd die for you, if you treated them nice enough." "Thank you for telling me. I.. Have to go." Geralt stammers out, racing away to the inn he left Jaskier in. "Oh, hello, Geralt. Did you find a contact?" And Geralt yanks him close, and hugs him. He should try kissing him one of these days. Either way, Geralt won't mourn for the cat he can never have, for he has a Jaskier, and it's close enough.