#jaskel fanfiction

[geraskierfanficprompts]

when the fic writer makes the human villain (who hurt the witcher's love interest) get killed with the silver sword because they're a "monster"

[bambirex]

Help me flesh out an idea?

Mamma Mia AU - sort of the same plot, Jaskier has a grown-up kid, who's getting married, kid doesn't know who their other father is since Jaskier was a bit of a slut when he was younger, and invites some potential daddies to their wedding and unleashes chaos. A/B/O setting, probably.

Geralt and Radovid are obvious choices, but who should be the third candidate?

[myidlehand]

Hey guys.

Since The Witcher is back on I decided to share a couple of my fanfics again. I'm having a really hard time being even slightly visible on AO3 so I'm hoping this will help.

Tonight I Belong To You (2654 words) by Hestia

Rating: Explicit

Length: takes about 15min

Summary:

Eskel is not entirely sure how he ended up in bed with Jaskier but they are both enjoying it a lot.

Basically PWP but with a lot of Fluff. Like seriously they are so sweet to each other.

I've also got a couple freestyle Geraskier ones if you want something a bit more poetic and written in a format that's different from what you usually read.

I've also got a soft Geralt/Jaskier story if you fancy

I'd also love to remind people that I've got lots and lots of free-to-use ideas on my pin post "Masterpost" if you're looking for free plotbunnies.

Just please give me a shot? Most of my fanfics are short, perfect if you have 5 to 15mins to kill. I just want to know if some people enjoy them

[spilledbutter]

shining in your light (a knight, my love, a knight)

Summary: Jaskier's days as a single man are numbered. With family obligations knocking at the door and no escape in sight, he knows he will soon be forced to marry.

Things are further complicated when he meets a beautiful, brown-haired witcher by chance in a tavern one night.

Jaskier/Eskel | Rated: M | WC: 3k+ | CW: coarse language, implied sex

--

A (very) belated Witcher Writers Winter Gift Exchange 2022 (@witcherficwriters) fill for @matrixfairy! I hope you enjoy, friendo, and sorry it's so late!

Also on AO3! I anticipate at least two more chapters, if not three, to finish everything up.

--

When he was younger, Jaskier imagined life to be a fairytale.

Grand adventures, beasts to be slain, and knights in shining armor. 

“Yeeugh,” the man groaned out from the tavern floor where he’d stumbled before him, covered in mud and smelling of horse dung. 

Real life never was quite like he imagined it would be.

“I’m so sorry, are you alright?” Jaskier’s hands fluttered uselessly in front of him, wanting to help but not quite sure if the other man was injured. He hastily put aside his tankard of ale and lute. 

“Sir? Can I help you with anything?” He called when he received no reply. It took a moment, but the man finally raised his head, turning surprisingly keen, golden eyes on Jaskier. He’d thought he was dealing with a drunkard.

He knew he should feel exposed, perhaps intimidated, under such a sharp gaze. Jaskier had never been prone to the reactions of normal people, however, so he felt nothing of the sort.

Surprisingly, he only felt warm, heat pricking his collar. 

Warmer still, as he took notice of the strong jaw, full lips, and long lashes cradling those honeyed irises. His eyes scanned over a set of broad shoulders, topping off a barrel chest, and what he was sure were delectable abs underneath a ruby-colored gambeson. 

Covered in mud he may be, but a pig he was not. 

“You talkin’ to me, pretty thing?” The rumbling, rich baritone shook him out of his stupor. Jaskier planted a charming grin on his face, casually running his hand over his chin in a thoughtful pose to check for drool. Gods above.

“Ah, but the man does speak! Are you sure you’re alright?”

The other man sat up, leaning against the wall. “Just peachy,” he grunted, leaning his elbows on his knees. “No need to worry, pretty thing. My kind are made for a bit of wear and tear.”

Shit. And a smile meant to break a man’s heart, to boot. 

Well. Jaskier had never been one to resist a pretty face.

“Can I help you? Buy you an ale, maybe?”

The grin turned devilish, topaz eyes shimmering with mischief. “Aye, and a bowl of stew if you’re going to bed me,” he winked. “Probably need the energy. You seem like a wild one.” 

Jaskier flushed, shocked and pleased all in one. He returned the wink with a provocative smile of his own. “A gentleman never tells, my dear.”

He held out a hand. A little flirtation did not an acquaintance make. Jaskier was no fool, either.

Two swords on his back. Heavy traveling cloak, worn at the hem and tattered. Scarring on his face and forearms - from some beast or other, no doubt. 

A witcher. Very interesting indeed.

Those discerning eyes stared him down, assessing, before seeming to make a decision. A strong hand clasped Jaskier’s own.

He pulled the other man up with only a little effort and noted the surprise on the witcher’s face. He felt no small amount of pride. He didn’t have a witcher’s bulk, but he wasn’t a small man by any means.

Now that he was standing, Jaskier took full stock of the other man’s form. His new friend had about three inches on him and at least a hundred pounds. Jaskier felt a pleasant tingle run down his spine. It was rare he met a delicious man like this on accident.

“Jaskier,” he announced in his most imperious voice with a courtly, sweeping bow. “At your service.” 

The other man quirked his lips, amused. “Eskel.”

Jaskier felt giddy. “A pleasure to make your acquaintance, Eskel. I believe I promised you an ale?”

That lovely half-smile doubled in size. “Aye. I believe you did.” 

###

There wasn’t much talking after they went upstairs. Jaskier’s rented room was small, the bed smaller, but it would do the job. 

“Darling,” Jaskier purred once the door was shut, “That armor is quite dashing, but I have to say you’re a tad overdressed.” 

Eskel’s warm body pressed against his with a mouthwatering pressure. With the wall at his back and the absolute boulder of a man at his front, he’d never felt happier about being cornered. A rough hand grasped his jaw, calloused thumb brushing against his bottom lip.

“Pretty words from a pretty mouth,” Eskel rumbled in his deep baritone. Golden eyes bored into Jaskier’s own, pinning him with their intensity. “D’you sing just as sweetly?”

Jaskier smirked wolfishly, wrapping his arms firmly around Eskel’s neck. “I’m sure you’ll find out.”

A husky chuckle, followed by a throaty moan. And then the night was silent.

###

Jaskier’s eyes fluttered open, moonlight filtering through the tiny inn window. 

He quietly took stock of the pleasant soreness in his limbs, aches in places which meant he’d had a very good night indeed. It took a few moments for him to become aware of the hard chest beneath his ear, carpeted with smattering of dark hair.

He came fully into awareness, remembering his night with Eskel and feeling a goofy smile bloom across his face. He was almost too comfortable using the witcher as a pillow. He would be perfectly content to lounge around until Eskel woke up. Maybe convince him to go for another round… But loathe as he was to move, he knew he needed to get back home.

As quietly as possible, he disentangled himself from the body below him. He dressed in silence, distinctly aware of every swish and rustle of fabric making their way to sharp witcher ears. He put on just enough clothing to be decent for the trek back, not wanting to delay any further.

Jaskier looked back at the man on the bed. He truly had the body of a god, looked absolutely delectable with a sheet just barely covering his exquisite cock. Blessedly, he’d had the skills in bed to match, which Jaskier was quite thankful for.

He looked oddly vulnerable, soft brown curls falling into his eyes and face lax with sleep. The moon’s rays danced across his striking features and made his tanned skin glow. He was the picture of inviting.

He was beautiful. It was a shame this was only for a night.

���May our paths cross again, Eskel,” he spoke softly.

Jaskier slipped out the door, unaware of the witcher watching him leave.

###

His nightly outings were becoming more common the closer he got to his impending doom. Since he’d passed his twenty-first birthday, Jaskier knew he was living on borrowed time. He knew his father would make things as unpleasant as possible.

Men of the Pankratz family were honor-bound to marry by the end of their twenty-first year. If they had not made a match by this time, a match would be arranged for them by the head of the household. The legend (or so he was told, although it all sounded like horse shit) went that were this rule not met, a curse would befall their house and lands, blighting all who lived within them. 

Or something. He’d never really paid attention during his governess’s lessons, dreadfully boring woman that she was.

But he was damned sure everyone in his house believed in the legend. Without a doubt, he’d be turned out on his ass for the first respectable gentleperson that came calling for him. He was under no illusions that his father had his best interests at heart–far from it, in fact. The sooner they’d be rid of him, the better.

Nothing like a parent’s love, eh?

He bitterly chuckled to himself as he stepped into the shadowed gardens below his quarters. Right turn at the archway. Left at the lavender bushes. Two steps and a hop across the charming little pond with the frogs he’d played with as a child. Now just a shimmy up the trellis to his open window and he’d be home free. 

He should really look into doing this professionally. He’d make an excellent spy.

Jaskier crested the windowsill, feet on the warmed stone floors. The embers of the fire were still hot in the hearth, no doubt stoked by his diligent valet. let out a yawn, feeling his eyes start to droop. 

“I imagine I’d be tired too, after an acrobatics routine like that.”

He jumped about a foot in the air. He did not shriek, thank you very much.

“Jana, you witch!” He hissed, blue eyes blazing. “Perhaps I should put a bell on you!”

She smirked, green eyes glinting maliciously. “And where would be the fun in that?” 

She was the devil incarnate. Evil in the flesh. He loved her to pieces.

“Sister dear,” he hummed, stepping towards his wardrobe. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”

“Just checking on my dearest Julek. Thought you might be tossing and turning tonight, is all.”

Jaskier squinted at her before turning back to his clothes. He grabbed a nightshirt and stepped behind the changing screen. “And why ever would I be restless?”

He didn’t need to see her face to know she was laughing at him. “Just a… feeling I had.”

He quickly stepped out from behind the screen, more comfortable now in his loose night clothes. He stepped towards the basin to wash his face. Jana was sitting primly on the bench, legs crossed daintily, looking serene as ever. 

Something was definitely wrong.

“Oh?” He wouldn’t give her the satisfaction of true curiosity. She was unbearably smug about this little talent of hers.

She got like this, sometimes. Jana was prone to feelings—no one in their family called them premonitions, per se, but it was hard to find a different word to describe them. Sometimes it was small things, like an unexpected change in the weather, but there were other times, too–like when she’d gotten a bad feeling about Aunt Margot’s cold, and she’d passed within a fortnight.

Jana hummed, noncommittal, and tossed her long, chocolate locks over her shoulder. “Something is going to happen tomorrow. Something big. And it concerns you, brother dearest.” 

Jaskier didn’t respond, mind racing. He schooled his features, maintaining the indifferent mask he’d learned as a son of the peerage. The tournament tomorrow was for the benefit of the Pankratz House. It didn’t, however, directly impact Jaskier in any notable way–not more than it would impact them all.

“We shall see, I suppose. Now, if you don’t mind,” he pointedly shuffled towards his bed, pressing a kiss to her cheek as he passed. “I need my beauty rest.” 

He’d turned down the covers and was just about to snuff the light when Jana approached him, ruffling his hair. He huffed. She turned away toward the door with a smile.

“Indeed we shall, little brother. Tomorrow.”

###

The morning dawned bright, trumpets and birdsong intermingling with the fresh dew. The sunlight was dappled through the trees in the clearing and the air smelled of late spring blossoms.

It was far too fine a day for such nonsense.

“Hark! Hear ye, hear ye! On this day commences the Tournament of Koselig, attended only by the most honorable of knights and lords!”

The opening speeches were always dull as watching paint dry. The Pankratz family was seated in the box with the best view of the action at the head of the field. He was expected to smile and nod as the competitors passed their box, acknowledging the brave souls fighting and potentially losing life and limb. All for the sake of their entertainment–and today, the dubious honor of ruling the shittiest parcel in the province.

It made him sick, to be honest. 

“You don’t suppose we could slip out after the announcements, do you? I’m sure Vincent could be convinced to cover for us with the right motivation.” He winked at Jana, earning a giggle in return.

“You know we can’t, Julek. Besides–I really do have a good feeling about today. Something important is going to happen, I just know it.” 

Her feelings were not to be dismissed. It was sure to be an eventful day, for one reason or another. He just hoped it wasn’t at his expense.

“Jana, Julian, do be quiet. Where are your manners?” His mother tutted, one elegant brow arched. She was the spitting image of his sister, with a few more lines around her eyes and streaks of gray through her hair.

“Apologies, mother. I seem to have forgotten my patience today,” Jaskier smiled sweetly. “Must these things be so terribly tedious?”

“It would do you well to watch your tongue, Julian. Comes with the territory. A Viscount is expected to behave and attend events such as this.”

“Only a Viscount in name, father. Don’t you worry–you’ll never have to bless me with more responsibility than that with our dear Jana here.”

The tension between father and son was palpable. Jana discretely squeezed his hand in support. 

Jaskier’s relationship with his father had never been the greatest, but they had reached an all-time low recently. He felt like he was on a tightrope, closer and closer to falling to the brink as each day passed. Who–or what–his father had in store for him was a great source of anxiety. And two of them weren’t exactly the types to have heart-to-heart chats, so his fate would inevitably be a surprise. Joy of joys.

In other circumstances, he’d be filling the gaping pit of anxiety with a glass of wine and a warm body, but alas. Duty called, as his father liked to remind him.

“We have the honor of being hosted today by the esteemed Pankratz family: the Earl Alfred Pankratz of Lettenhove, Lady Maria Pankratz of Lettenhove, Lady Jana Pankratz of Lettenhove, and Viscount Julian Alfred Pankratz of Lettenhove,” the herald carried on. “The knights and lords present will compete today for the honor of overseeing one of his Lordship’s properties in Hygge, a parcel of land which…”

Jaskier found his attention drifting beyond the stands, the announcements a tiresome buzzing in the background. From the looks of it, every person in the city of Koselig had turned out for the event, and probably the neighboring cities too. They were practically giving away a prize today, wrapped up in a neat, entertaining package and decorated with a ball. It was no wonder it looked like the entirety of coastal Redania had arrived on their front lawn. 

He wasn’t surprised. His parents were well-liked for their fair ruling of the lands they controlled, but they were equally liked for the lavish parties they liked to throw. It wasn’t all a front, but every event, gift, and act of service was part of a carefully calculated plan to keep the populace happy and maintain appearances.

His mother, for all that she was kind, was incredibly shrewd and good with people. She knew what would keep them happiest (and what would shut them up). His father was a strict man, committed to the principles of duty and obedience. At the same time, he wouldn’t hesitate to manipulate a situation in his favor. Jaskier loved them, but he didn’t always like them.

Hygge was a sizeable estate just shy of a week’s ride north of Jaskier’s home in Koselig. Its accompanying village was full of fishermen and farmers alike, with the coast nearby and plenty of fertile land to till. The former Lord who’d ruled over the property for the last twenty years had died two months prior. Rather unfortunately for everyone, he passed without an heir. Even more unfortunately, he had done a poor job managing things in the last five years. Much work would need to be done by the new proprietor.

His parents needed someone to manage the property and township. Jana, as heir to their family estate, had been assisting with the property in the months since the former Lord’s passing. This obviously wasn’t a long-term solution as she would take over in Koselig one day.

They had decided to select a new proprietor, ideally a knight looking to settle down or a lower member of the peerage without many responsibilities. And because his mother had a flair for dramatics, what better way to find someone willing than a tournament?

It was great marketing, he had to hand it to her. Undoubtedly, they would find someone today.

“Gentlemen! Please present yourself to the venerable Pankratz family!”

Jaskier put on his most polite and courtly smile for the introductions. One by one, the assembled lords and knights stepped up to the box. There was a Lord Valdo from Cidaris who seemed utterly obnoxious–-gods, he hoped he didn’t win. A knight from Roggeveen with a peculiar mustache. Another Lord So-and-So from Denesle who sounded absolutely drunk off his ass—that would make for a good show. 

He almost fell out of his chair when he spotted a familiar red gambeson and mop of brown hair. Flashes of last night sent a rush of blood to a very unfortunate place as he locked gazes with a familiar pair of golden eyes. 

Their bodies meeting in an intimate embrace. Eskel’s calloused hands gripping his hips tightly. Deep, rumbling groans as Jaskier rode him. The insatiable desire for more. And afterward, those same work-worn hands stroking soothingly down his back. Sweaty bangs tenderly brushed off his forehead. A gentle hand cleaning him up with a rough-hewn cloth. A handsome face, enhanced by scars, relaxed and sated in sleep.

Fuck. Fuck fuckity fuck fuck.

Eskel dipped into a formal bow. “Sir Eskel, Witcher of the Wolf School.” 

“Ha!” His father burst out, with great amusement. “A witcher, competing in my tournament! Surely you can’t be serious.” 

“Deadly so, my Lord,” Eskel’s lips were pressed into a thin line, his eyes cool. Despite this, he gave no outward signs of annoyance, his posture remaining relaxed and easy. 

“Oh?” His father raised an imperious brow. “And do you meet the entry requirements? One must be an established member of the peerage or a knight to compete. This isn’t a tournament for just anyone.”

“How fortunate, then,” Eskel drawled, “that I am knighted. His Royal Highness, Windhalm of Attre, knighted me four summers ago. Dealt with a rotfiend problem he was having, nasty business.”

Alfred did not say a word, but one look at his face said enough about his frustration. Eskel paid no mind.

“Convenient as well that he granted me the title Baronet of Attre, as a personal honor for my services. Still a peasant at heart and in title, but the words are pretty, yeah?”

Eskel rubbed a hand over the back of his neck in a seemingly bashful gesture. “Aye, a shame I turned the land down at the time. After all, a witcher? A proprietor? Can’t be serious.” He gave a deep belly laugh at the thought, throwing his head back. “Changed my mind, though. I’ve rather come to like the idea of settling down.” 

The tension could be cut with a knife. Jaskier, his sister, his mother–hell, even the herald–all waited, staring at Alfred in suspense.

“Well then, my Lord? Do I pass the test?” The witcher gave a winning smile, the epitome of mannerly but possessing an air of cold detachment Jaskier knew his father detested. It was the same persona his father used at court.

Color crept up Alfred’s collar. Jaskier could practically see the steam coming out of his ears. He hid a smile behind his hand, biting his lip. Entertainment, indeed.

Alfred cleared his throat. “Well, Sir Eskel of the Wolf School, Baronet de Attre, it certainly seems you do. We look forward to seeing you… compete.” Alfred gave a stiff and reluctant nod, dismissing him. The moment was over.

Or, well, Jaskier thought it was.

Eskel gave his family another formal bow. His eyes met Jaskier’s with intention as he rose back to his full height. Jaskier felt his breath catch in his throat as gold met blue. 

There was something there, in his gaze. A heat–not the burning kind, no, but something pleasant. Like hot cider on a winter’s night. Like a fire to warm cold bones--or an aching heart. Jaskier felt a shiver down his spine.

He felt trapped in that stare, unable to look away. He gave a coquettish smile, unable to resist his natural flirtation even for a moment, particularly with the witcher. Eskel gave a charming, boyish grin back, inclining his head deeply before turning away.

And oh, what a lovely sight he made. Although his trousers really did look better off…

“What the hell was that?” Jana hissed into his ear, breaking the spell Jaskier had fallen under.

“What was what?” Jaskier asked in his best attempt at innocence, rubbing sweaty palms against his knees. 

“You know what. Do you know him?” 

“We may have met before - hard to say, I meet a lot of people.”

Jana scoffed, pushing against his shoulder with her own at his non-answer. Jaskier laughed, fondly, and turned his attention back to the field.

Neither of them noticed Alfred’s piercing stare as he eyed them with suspicion.

(1/3)

[tschulijulesjulie]

i know im not that active in the witcher fandom anymore (and a lot of you aren't either) but i recently went through my ao3 history and reread some of the fics thatt made me fall in love with this fandom.

one of them was Lost/Found by @/xxenjoy on ao3 (that's @witcher-and-his-bard here on tumblr, i believe - formerly @witcher-and-his-bard-archive)

and it was great and just as amazing as i remembered - just, once i had finished it and it didn't end like i thought it would, i realised i had mixed it up in my mind with another, quite similar fic, in my memory.

so i went looking for it. i spent hours looking through my ao3 subscriptions. i spent hours looking through my tumblr follows. i cannot find it.

heres what i remember:

it was a very similar setup to Lost/Found: after the mountain Jaskier runs into Eskel and starts traveling with him. Eskel is kind and they fall in love. eventually they run into Geralt who apologizes. they end up in a throuple.

whats different to L/F is, that it switched POVs i think - i do remember some of it being from Eskels perspective. he was quite self-conscious and afraid of losing Jask when they met Geralt.

i also thi k they didn't visit KM like in L/F

i think it was rated E but i might be wrong

also i have literally no idea how long it actually was - i think it was multi-chaptered, but i also might be wrong

if anyone has an idea which fic that might be - pleeeeease tell me. i feel like im losing my mind, i feel like my brain just made the memory of this fanfic up.

[underpreparedbard]

✨Masterlist✨

My AO3: @likeasexygoose

Ko-Fi: @underpreparedbard

Requests are currently: CLOSED

Fandoms I write for: The Witcher, Merlin (BBC), Firefly/Serenity, Star Wars, Sand Castle

My fave ships: Geraskier, Yennskier, Geraskefer, Jaskier x Eskel, Jaskier x Lambert, Geralt x Eskel, Geralt x Lambert, Jaskier x Priscilla, Lambert x Aiden, Merthur, Merlin x Gwaine, Merlin x Lancelot, Merlin x Morgana, Morgana x Gwen, Mal x Inara, Mal x Zoe, Mal x Kaylee, Kaylee x Jayne, Reylo, Captain Syverson

Multi-Chapter Fics:

Blue Eyes Burn Red - AO3 

Rience finally discovers a way to get revenge on Jaskier. The secret is elder blood. 

Chapters: 3/?, word count: 2,702 - currently ongoing

One Shots:

We’ll Get You A New One - AO3

Jaskier is ambushed at camp while Geralt is hunting. What could they possibly take from him?

Word count: 867

For You - AO3

Geralt has been working contracts non-stop and can barely keep himself upright. Luckily he has his bard to take care of him.

Word count: 1,095

I Saw You Staring - AO3 | Tumblr

While bathing in a stream, Geralt discovers something about his companion. Just how dark could Jaskier’s past really be?

Word count: 988

It’s Quiet - AO3

Things have been going smoothly for Geralt and Jaskier for a while. What could go wrong?

Word count: 918 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Quizzes:

Guess the lyrics - Burn Butcher Burn

Guess the lyrics - Toss A Coin To Your Witcher

Guess the lyrics - Song Of The Seven

Guess the lyrics - Whoreson Prison Blues

Guess the lyrics - Her Sweet Kiss

Guess the lyrics - The Golden One

Guess the Lyrics - Ride Of The Witcher

Who said what? Witcher edition - part 1

[loki-is-my-kink-awakening]

I finally finished my first multi-chapter fic 🎉

I'm so happy that I finished it. It took me a while but I got there.

If anyone is interested in reading.

Petals In A Storm

16 chapters, 51,925 words

Fandom: The Witcher

Relationships: Jaskier x Sam the Baker, Jaskier x Eskel, one-sided Jaskier x Geralt

Rating: Explicit.

Tags: Casual sex, open relationships, polyamory, angst, heartbreak, shaming language, kidnapping, canon-typical violence, fear, and injury by fire.

Summary: Since the mountain, Jaskier has been grieving Geralt and funnelling all his emotions into sleeping around, unable to believe the love he has within his grasp with Sam the Baker. It takes being plucked out of his life and meeting another witcher, Eskel, to realise that maybe his views on love have been misguided.

Ao3 link

[nitrogen-and-crisis]

Uploads like 300 words of fluff. I need to lie down now.

[underpreparedbard]

don’t call me out like this

Me: *Goes through ao3 tag*

Me: *Reaches the end*

Me: *Goes through ao3 tag with lower standards*

[bambirex]

I'm taking a leaf out of my mutuals' book and ask for some help because i wanna write just don't know what and I'm feeling a bit of a writer's block coming on so

[fireandpowder]

love is heavy and light by violaceum_vitellina_viridis

Chapters: 24/24, 84,291 words

Fandom: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion, Eskel/Jaskier | Dandelion, Jaskier | Dandelion/Lambert, Eskel/Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, Eskel/Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion/Lambert

Characters: Jaskier | Dandelion, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, Eskel (The Witcher), Lambert (The Witcher), Vesemir (The Witcher), Coën (The Witcher), Cirilla Fiona Elen Riannon, Yennefer z Vengerbergu | Yennefer of Vengerberg, Minor Original Characters - Character, Minor Characters

Additional Tags: Jaskier | Dandelion Whump, Five Stages of Grief, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Depression, Self-Esteem Issues, Episode Related, Post-Episode: S01E06 Rare Species, Episode Fix-it, Whump, Ruthlessly Cherry-Picked Canon, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Piercings, POV Changes, Crying, Worry, Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Cuddling & Snuggling, Sharing a Bed, Soft Eskel (The Witcher), Soft Lambert (The Witcher), Song: Toss a Coin to Your Witcher (The Witcher), Threesome, Anal Sex Anal Fingering, Oral Sex, Double Penetration, Double Penetration in Two Holes, Swordfighting, Minor Violence, Minor Injuries, The Inherent Tragedy of Witchers, Deidre Ademeyn (The Witcher), Vesemir Is the Best Papa, Frottage, Hand Jobs, Plot Relevant Genital Piercings, Body Piercing, Light Dom/sub, Group Sex, Family Bonding, Feral Cirilla Fiona Elen Riannon, Cult of Kate

Series: Part 17 of fire and powder

Summary:

“If life could give me one blessing, it would be to take you off my hands!”

Jaskier doesn’t remember getting off the mountain.

The dragon hunt happens, and everyone has to cope with the fall out of that.

(See first author's note for important things about the rating and tags!)

[snarwor]

“Does this say Sexual Limits?” Jaskier hisses.

“Ooh, straight for the good bits, Lammy like,” Lambert leers teasingly.

[geraskierfanficprompts]

I second the "Jaskier and the kaer morhen moving company" tags from dearest @penandinkprincess I want to read a fic about Jaskier getting his strapping beautiful lads

Hired a moving company and they sent four strong, strapping, beautiful lads to my house to disassemble my furniture and move all my things. I loved them. I got them pizza. They told me moving company gossip. I missed them one minute after they left. My moving lads. Come back to me. You're so strong and so well trained in safe lifting

[wren-of-the-woods]

Fic Recs: Jaskier and the Kaer Morons

Y’all need to stop asking for fic recs because I have over four hundred AO3 bookmarks and no self-restraint.

Anway, @moongoddesskiana asked for fics with Jaskier and the Kaer Morons! The brilliant @penandinkprincess recced the first three, all of which are amazing. Then I attempted to filter through my bookmarks and found the rest! Some have more Jaskier and some have more Kaer Morons, but all have at least some of both. There’s a lot of variety, so hopefully everyone can find something they like!

~

If You Give a Bard a Lute by @ghostinthelibrarywrites (Rated T, 10k, Geraskier)

Jaskier’s father disowns him and takes all his posessions, including his lute. When Geralt finds out, he won’t let it stand, and recruits the other witchers to help them steal the lute back.

If I Must Starve (Let it be in Your Arms) by Igneum807 (Rated M, 31k, Geraskier more or less)

Lambert and Eskel learn how nice it is to be cuddled by a bard. The whole series is absolutely wonderful.

Weak and Wanting by @sociallyawkward--fics (Rated T, 36k, Geraskier)

Geralt invites Jaskier to Kaer Morhen for the winter. Lambert and Eskel decide to play matchmaker.

Chance Met on the Road and How Bold by theimperialbogmonster (Rated T, 1k and 7k respectively, Geraskier)

The two works in a wonderful series. Eskel joins Geralt and Jaskier on the path and manages to knock some sense into them.

How Different Wolves Can Be by SGALOVER  (Rated T, 36k, Gen)

Vesemir rescues Jaskier from a brief capture by Nilfgaard and takes him to Kaer Morhen, and Jaskier becomes part of a big witcher family.

Fresh Air by Slayer_of_Destiny  (Rated T, 10k, Geraskier)

After a difficult fight that required all of the wolves’ help, Geralt takes them back to where Jaskier is waiting. The other witchers are shocked at this human’s easy acceptance of them.

In the kitchen of a keep in the mountains by ArtanisNaanie  (Rated T, 12k, Geraskier)

The various inhabitents of Kaer Morhen as seen through their cooking. The food sections are fascinating and the plot is sweet.

Those songs we sung, those words we flung by persephonesprince (Not Rated, 179k, endgame Geraskier)

Lambert and Eskel adopt Jaskier after the mountain.

Well Met by DahliaVanDare (Rated G, 2k, Gen)

Eskel meets Jaskier after the mountain. Hilarious!

Forest Encounters and Two Witchers Walk Into a Tavern by TheSupernova (T and G, 3k and 2k, Geraskier)

A series in which Jaskier meets Lambert and then Eskel.

The Best Laid Plans by @dhwty-writes (Rated T, 5k, Geraskier)

Geralt is in love with Jaskier. In order to finally get him to admit his feelings, he devises a ten step plan with Lambert, Eskel and Vesemir.

Courting The Bard Of Your Dreams In 3 Easy Steps by bulletincookie (Rated T, 10k, Jaskel)

Eskel falls in love with Jaskier at Kaer Morhen. Now he has to court him.

That Unwanted Animal by @softdarlingjaskier (Rated T, 27k WIP, Jaskel)

Jaskier starts traveling with Eskel after the mountain and they go to Kaer Morhen together. I usually avoid incomplete works, but this one is really good!

Slightly Akin to Wonder by StarsInMyDamnEyes (Rated G, 3k, Gen)

Jaskier is a retired witcher who changed his name. The other witchers don’t realize that this bard is the same person. Absolutely hilarious!

The Kaer Morhen Book Club by @jackironsidesfic (Rated T, 10k, Geraskier)

The Kaer Morons have an annual book club in which they read books about witchers. One year, they find a novel in which a witcher is the romantic lead. AKA: Jaskier is a romance novelist and Geralt finds out. I don’t think Jaskier actually meets the other witchers in this one, but it’s so hilarious I couldn’t not rec it!

and the right to call it home by Chancy_Lurking (Rated T, 11k, Geraskier and Lambden)

Lambert doesn’t trust the human that Geralt has brought to the keep. Things escalate. This one is angsty!

Winter Secrets by C4t1l1n4 (Rated G, 0.7k, Geraskier)

Jaskier overhears a conversation he doesn't think he's supposed to. It's not exactly what he's expecting either.

The Courting Ways of Wolves by @pillage-and-lute (Rated T, 12k, Geraskier)

The inhabitents of Kaer Morhen help Geralt develop a plan for courting Jaskier, which he then carries out. This one has more Geraskier than Kaer Morons but it’s so sweet and funny that I had to mention it!

starlight; star-crossed by @julek (Rated T, 10k, Geraskier)

Jaskier adopts the stray dog that’s been hanging around Kaer Morhen. Geralt absolutely isn’t jealous.

I’m also going to take this opportunity to shamelessly self-promote my own ficlet that I wrote because my love for this trope is uncontrollable!

The Wolves and the Bard by ForestWren (Rated T, 0.5k, Gen with vaguely implied Geraskier)

In which Jaskier discovers that he has, quite by accident, acquired a family.

~

That’s it for now! Please feel free to chime in with your own fic recs -- I’m always looking for more things to read! <3

Edit: I have other reclists I forgot to mention! They can be found here and here.

Further edit: There is now a part two to this list!

[underpreparedbard]

me shipping characters that never canonically meet

[blackberrywars]

For the Flash Fic Fest, could I request a Witchers-are-supersoldiers Modern/Sci-fi Secret-Mission AU?

Prompt would be: “Geralt has seen many, many things in his very, very long lifetime. He has never, as his partner Jaskier points out, seen Agent Eskel dance a waltz.”

Please have as much freedom with it as you’d like

EDIT: Available on AO3 and now with beautiful, spectacular art by @whyzowl

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Geralt has seen many, many things in his very, very long lifetime. He has never, as his partner Jaskier points out, champagne glass tipped just so, seen Agent Eskel dance a waltz.

Maybe he shouldn’t be surprised. Geralt has seen Eskel dance in a dozen other ways: bouncing along to the hum of an army radio, two-stepping on the beat of a vinyl record, bopping his head to the tunes of a digital age. Even when they’re on duty, Eskel has never danced like this, at least not where Geralt could see it. Most of their relevant assignments involve dark clubs with overwhelmingly loud bass speakers, and the kind of dancing he does in those…… Geralt already knows damn well how Eskel can thrust his hips. So does most of the club, by the time he’s through. So he shouldn’t be surprised. He wouldn’t be, if only Eskel weren’t so obviously good at it.

Across the ballroom, the man dances like a high-society socialite instead of a once-redneck soldier. His long legs follow through every step, turn, and reversal. Every turn emphasizes the broad expanse of his shoulders as he spins his partner away and back again. Each flourish raises the back of his red waistcoat, exposing the thick, round curve of his ass. But even if he didn’t have all the features Geralt has spent so long admiring, Eskel’s grace nearly topples him from the little alcove he and Jaskier had escaped to, ostensibly, have sex and definitely not spy on their fellow agent. The big Wolf moves with a fluid elegance he’d never had when fully human, in complete control of every step. He supports every pace of waltz, turns his partners’ mistakes into embellishments, and manages to make even a simple box step look like ballet.

He switches partners every other minute, always with a new pair of arms draped around him. Every single one is dressed for the theme: something vaguely renaissance, with all the accompanying ostentation, but all Geralt can focus on is how they touch Eskel. A dark-skinned hand nestles against his gloved one, pale fingers rest on his muscled arms, a diamond bracelet shines against his billowy white sleeves. None of them are the target, but Geralt catalogues them anyway. There’s Marizia Izle Álvo, an heiress with three paramours and a fortune built on cryptocurrency. Julienne Moulak, a biomedical mogul whose empire of steel and blood extended back before even Geralt’s lifetime. Neseyo Zeftir, a stunning beauty who had won several global pageants with her generous curves and penchant for environmental philanthropy.

They all touch Eskel with casual, flirtatious hands. They look at him, and even the shyest ones still have a hunger that Geralt can nearly smell, practically peeling Eskel out of his tight leather pants. The band keeps playing —cellos and drums and flutes and trumpets— but Geralt can barely hear them, not when another social-climber stumbles into Eskel, tucking his fingers into that deep collar, running through the brush of coarse chest hair. Not when a handsome woman steals him away for another waltz without so much as a by-your-leave.

Geralt takes a deep breath.

And another.

And one more.

None of them seem to work, and he welcomes the press of Jaskier’s cool hand in the center of his back. It doesn’t make his already uncomfortable pants feel any less tight, but it does make him turn away from the spectacle for a moment to see Jaskier’s own expression. He looks like he wants to eat Eskel alive. Geralt must look the same. In the space of another breath, Jaskier downs the rest of his champagne, setting the glass down just a bit too deliberately.

“My darling man…” Jaskier turns to him, eyes enormous, “How would you feel about retrieving Don Juan down there and cutting this night short? Lambert already has the information we need.”

“Agent Jaskier, that would be highly unprofessional.”

“Who’s gonna notice? Come on. For our part, we kept the target distracted, and I want to go home. Not that my night hasn’t been lovely, but I think I drank too much champagne. And my feet might hurt. And I might spill wine on these beautiful silk tights.”

“Point taken.”

“No, really. All manner of ailments and accidents could occur where we all have to go home. Immediately.”

Geralt laughs under his breath and turns away to the exit, but Jaskier plasters himself to his back, whispering in his ear.

“Don’t trip.”

Don’t trip. Instinctively, Geralt wanted to bristle and protest: who was he, that socialite with his stupid ploy to fall into Eskel’s strong arms? But he could barely register his legs underneath him as they walked him back down the staircase and into the ballroom, could barely control the movements of his eyes as they searched the floor for a head of dark hair and broad shoulders. He scans the floor and comes up short. By the east wall, he sees Julienne throwing back a heaping glass of red wine. Closer to the entrance forum, he sees the handsome lady dancing just as gracefully as before, but not with Eskel. Looking back at the stairs, the countess is sneaking away with a gorgeous blonde at her heels. He climbs back onto the first step, hoping for a better view when a familiar hand taps his shoulder.

Geralt turns, and there is Eskel. Eskel with his hair slicked back to show his flushed face, his smile made coy by the gap where his fangs shine through. Eskel in expensive, tailored clothes, golden lapels framing a deep gash, showing the obscene planes of his collarbones and plush chest. Eskel in waltzing shoes. Eskel, who has his hand outstretched and his torso bowed like a gentleman. Eskel with his low, soft voice —Dance with me, Wolf.

Geralt trips.

But Eskel catches him, pulling him close for an especially slow number. And while Geralt doesn’t know a damn thing about waltzing, Eskel apparently does, and every step feels effortless with those gloved hands around his waist and wrist. Jaskier, and all the promises waiting at home, can wait. At least for one waltz.

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I really hope this meets your expectations @whyzowl it was super fun to work on, even if it took me a while. I know I didn’t focus too much on their supposed mission, but seeing your drawing Eskel’s outfit here, I couldn’t not make Geralt’s feelings about it a focal point.