#james goes woo woo

[coquette2004]

Then Pls Marry Me Jame! 😍❤️😍❤️

A ghost trying to haunt me to scare me or whatever: woo WOO

Me: you're not James II you will NEVER BE James II now please go away.

[empress-simps]

Heart Chaser

Pairing: James Potter x Reader CW: Grumpy reader, James getting injured, and Language. Genre: Fluff Summary: James tries to woo you over many times before, with what he does best- being a showoff and with a promise of a hogsmeade date if they win the quidditch tournament

Note: James is a certified simp. This is a self-indulgent one shot, enjoy reading!

James was stupid- it goes without saying. Stupidly in love with you, who wants nothing to do with him. He always greets you with his charming smile, you greet him back with a scowl or a sneer just for him.

He was like a stubborn gum stuck in the bottom of your shoes that you have a hard time getting rid of.

“Is he hit in the head? Why is he doing fucking flips when he could make our house win?” You scowl, arms folding over your chest as he whizzes near you, sending a wink your way. The other girls around you squealed, thinking it was for them as giggles and whispers surrounded you. If anything, you were quite the contrary. If you could puke, you probably would’ve already done it by now.

“Hm, Black is quite a good player. Quite better than their stupid captain who just knows how to show off.” You commented on seeing Sirius Black swinging his bat to hit the incoming bludger that was aimed at James, effectively protecting the chaser. Her friends, Mary and Marlene looked at each other, eyebrows raised in surprise.

“Fancy dating a beater rather than a chaser, huh?”

Marlene teased while Mary chuckled, trying not to show her amusement to the annoyed you. “Right, so if I compliment a boy on his quidditch skills that means I’m madly in love with him? Great.” You scoffed, crossing your arms over your chest as you redirected your attention to the game.

“Oh come on, we were just teasing you, Y/n!” Mary pokes your side playfully, “I should’ve just let the sorting hat put me in Slytherin, that way I wouldn’t have to deal with you both.”

“Oh sod off, Y/n. You were pissing your pants in fear in front of older Slytherin students in our first year.” Marlene snickers, dodging your attempts to get to her as Mary tries to block you from actually hitting her.

“Why you little- “

“…And the Gryffindor team wins!”

Cheers erupted from your side as you widened your eyes in surprise. There he was, James Potter got off his broom as Sirius started to carry him on his shoulders, their teammates surrounding them. James met your eyes and smiled (quite stupidly in your opinion) sending a wink your way which made a sour look appear on your face. What a showoff.

“C’mon, game’s over. I don’t want to see Pothead’s face more than what’s necessary.” You grabbed them both and left the quidditch pitch. Marlene protested at first, but then immediately tried to persuade you into joining the common room party that night.

“Yeah yeah, whatever.” You waved her off, wanting Marlene to shut up and forget what you said. Oh, how wrong you were.

Which placed you in your current position, Marlene and Mary basically dragged you to the common room where you saw people drunk, dancing, or snogging. “Stay here, Y/n!” We’ll be back!” Marlene giggled, as she and Mary went off to Merlin-knows-where. You felt stupid and out of place, so you just stuck to the side and watched the scenes in front of you unfold.

“Didn’t think you were the type to attend parties like this.” A chuckle was heard, looking in the direction of the voice, you saw Remus, leaning against the wall much like what you are doing. You let out a scoff, “Marlene and Mary left to go snog some random people,” He lets out a laugh, “I figured. Would you like some butterbeer?” He offers, you shake your head politely. “It’s alright, I do love some firewhisky.” You joked, his eyebrows shot up in amusement and surprise as Sirius neared you both, seemingly heard your conversation.

“You’re quite surprising, Y/n! No wonder you got Prongs wrapped around your finger.” Sirius had his famous grin plastered on his face, handing you a shot of Olgden’s Old firewhisky. Your eyebrows narrowed suspiciously at Sirius, who urged you to take it. Just where did he even get that and how did he manage to sneak it in?

 “What’s life without a little risk?”

“Don’t even think about giving that to her, Padfoot.”

Like a knight in shining armor, James seemed to pop out of nowhere, getting in between you and Sirius, giving his best friend a disapproving look. Sirius grins sheepishly, raising one arm up in mock surrender, “Alright, Prongsie. Sorry dove! Next time, alright?” Sirius looked at you, winking and running off to somewhere before James could whack him. Remus follows Sirius closely behind to ensure he doesn’t do anything too stupid.

“Thanks, Potter.” You practically forced yourself to utter those words to the boy who had a quite lovestruck look on his face.

“Anything for you, Y/n.”

“Alright, I’ve had enough. Goodbye, congratulations on your win.” You sneered, trying to ignore the blush creeping in your cheeks at the obviously lovestruck James, who seemed to snap out of his trance. “H-hold on!” He grabs your wrist gently, stopping you.

“If we win the next game, let’s go to Hogsmeade.”

Alright, you weren’t expecting that. You stilled, trying to fight the stupid butterflies that started to appear in your tummy. What is happening to you? Did you find James attractive suddenly? This needs to be stopped, at least you hope it will.

“No- “

“Y/n, please! I won’t even pass notes to you anymore in class just to get us both in detention!” He pleads, you must admit that he looks quite cute. Raising an eyebrow, you tried to fight off the amused smirk threatening to make its way on your lips. “So, you’re admitting that you did that so we can spend detention together?” You should’ve whacked him upside the head and be annoyed but strangely, you find it, dare you say- adorable.

James scratched the back of his neck, he was caught. “Erm… So, is that a yes?” You clicked your tongue, “Win the game first then we’ll talk.”

“It seems like the Gryffindor’s Captain is in high spirits today!”

You hear the commentator’s voice rang throughout the cheering crowd. Crossing your arms, you observed James, his demeanor is quite different from last time. He’s more serious than ever, barely even showing off or sending a quick your way when he flies close next to you. It was a huge difference, not that you were bummed out about it (which you secretly are.)

Marlene snickered, noticing your reaction. “Why the long face? Potter not paying attention to you?”

“Sod off, Marlene.” You grumbled, shoving her lightly making her laugh. “Hey! So it’s true! Mary, Potter managed to woo our Y/n- “ You glared at her, a hint of blush dusting your cheek. “I can only tolerate so much, Marls.”

The banter was cut short when you heard gasps and the commentator’s alarmed voice was heard. “It appears that James Potter was knocked off his broom by Ravenclaw’s beater, and he’s falling quite fast! Someone get Madame Pomfrey!”

You paled, mouth turning dry as your eyes searched frantically at the enormous quidditch pitch, feeling your stomach drop as you saw James freefall to the ground quickly.  “No…” Luckily, someone managed to make his fall to the ground a bit less dangerous by turning the ground into a putty-like texture. Biting your lip nervously, you wince as James landed with a loud thud.

He wheezed, lying on the ground, and holding his arm that was probably broken. “Merlin, that actually hurts.” He looks around, shutting his eyes in embarrassment. Out of all the places he could have fallen in, it just simply had to be in front of where you sat. James can already hear you rejecting him taking you out this Saturday.

Rushing to the Hospital Wing, you opened the doors with a loud thud, not caring if you disturbed other patients as you made a beeline to James who was talking with the rest of Marauders.

“You dumb oaf! How could you possibly lose balance in your own broom?!” You furrowed you eyebrows as you saw James visibly wince, feeling ashamed, he looked down at his arm cast. Mary places a hand on your shoulder as Marlene casts an apologetic look towards the boys.

“How will I say yes to your stupid little Hogsmeade date if you’re injured?” You ‘tsked’, crossing your arms in front of your chest, ignoring everyone’s surprised reaction. Sirius whistled, already slapping James on the back as Remus widened his eyes, Peter had his mouth open in shock and your friends stared at you in surprise, looking like you just grew another head.

James quickly looked up at you, eyes beaming with happiness as a dopey smile made its way on his face. “You… you agree?” He bit his lip, trying to contain his excitement. You raised your eyebrows, a small amused smile settling on your face. “I don’t know you’re that daft, but yes. I’ll go on a date with you Potter.”

Everyone around you cheered quietly as Madame Pomfrey sent a warning glare to your group. James grins, leaning in your direction as he looks at you. “Brilliant.” His voice is a soft murmur, only meant for you. Madame Pomfrey’s glare dissolves into a knowing smile as she turns away, giving you both a moment of privacy.

James had a way of capturing people’s hearts by just being himself, he even managed to capture yours- and he doesn’t even think about letting it go.

[ellecdc]

⚡️ - angst, ☀️ - fluff, ⛅️ - hurt/comfort, 🌶️ - smut/spicy, 🌈 - crack [comedy] 🫧 = elle’s favourites

Jegulus Our Keeper (poly!jegulus x fem!reader who plays keeper for slytherin) ⛅️🫧 Sweet Drunk Lovie (poly!jegulus x fem!reader after a bachelorette party)🌈🫧 a delicate touch (poly!jegulus tries to woo shy!reader) ☀️ it takes (3) to tango (swapping ties outs your relationship with both boys) ☀️ showering woes (fem!reader thinks they need a bigger shower)🌈

Rosekiller their 'platonic' girlfriend (poly!rosekiller x fem!reader who realize it's love)🌈 -> that has to be new? (jegulily + wolfstar speculate poly!rosekiller)☀️ why'd you only call me when you're high? - Arctic Monkeys (poly!rosekiller's version)⚡️⛅️🫧 spoiled (poly!rosekiller loves to spoil their girl) 🌈 threats of shopping (fem!reader needs more clothes, apparently)☀️ Evan's little freak (reader has a mentyB, the boys try to navigate it) ⛅️🌈 sugar cookies (fem!reader falls asleep decorating holiday cookies)❄️

MoonWaterKiller We can keep him (poly!moonwaterkiller x chaotic fem!reader)☀️ vitamin D (poly!moonwaterkiller x sick!reader fluff)⛅️🫧 Matilda - Harry Styles (poly!moonwaterkiller's version) ⛅️🫧 apple of the marauder tree (poly!moonwaterkiller + marauding child)🌈

poly!moonkiller x fem!reader -> stolen jumpers and Chanel No. 5☀️

DarkSun bloody afterparty (poly!darksun x fem!reader at a Gryffindor party)🌈 Sirius doesn't get it (poly!darksun x black cat!reader)☀️ The Hazards of Hiccoughs (poly!darksun)⛅️🫧 march with me (poly!darksun @ hhc with fem!reader) 🎃 the plight of the panties (the boys help nb!reader with period dysphoria) ⛅️ spiked woes & revenge (the boys comfort reader who was spiked) ⛅️ cuddles & cocoa (the boys convince reader to snuggle)❄️

DeathStar All's Fair in Love & Chaos - poly!DeathStar mini blurb series -> Happy birthday! It's a beautiful day to throw myself off the astronomy tower -> Please adhere to the previously agreed upon schedule -> supervised handoffs with an audience -> it's not your party, you can't cry if you want to

Moonchaser Sun Incarnate Jamie (poly!moonchaser x fem!reader reassuring James)⚡️ Go See Your Lover Boys (poly!moonchaser following a full moon) ⛅️🫧

Jily it's happening again (Jily pursue reader in a Potter fashion) 🌈 young love and potterisms (reader makes Lily blush, James loves them)☀️

Bartylus The most cunning Ravenclaw (poly!bartylus x fem!reader) 🌈🫧

Prongsfoot There's 3 of Them (poly!prongsfoot x fem!reader college au)🌈 one of us (prongsfoot meet their match in foxy!reader)🌈 mischief makes three (the battle of the jersey's)☀️

Lily Super Ice Cream (single mum!Lily Evans x fem!reader meet cute) ☀️ dentist!Lily (reader goes for a routine checkup) ☀️

🫧 = elle’s favourites

[diana-rose-25]

★*☆ Eugh, As If

pairing/s: Sirius Black x Evans! Reader

warnings: Severus Snape.

description: The younger sister of Lily Evans takes revenge for her when slimy old Snape betrays her and calls her a mudblood. Sirius wants to marry her now.

status: unedited

word count: 5.2k

Note: I word vomitted.

“You think Potter will ever stop with his shenanigans in getting Lily to fall in love with him?”

Dorcas leans back while biting on the toast to look at the entrance of the dining hall, watching Potter try to stand tall and cool in front of the woman he fancies, and failing miserably.

It’s no secret that James Potter is one of the most sought out bachelor in the school, maybe even the Wizarding World, and he fucking knows it. When one is constantly praised for everything he does, have the ground he walks on practically worship, a star player in Quiddich, comes from a prominent family, insanely wealthy, and, there is no denying it, a handsome lad; one while develop a massive ego.

James Potter knows he is the shit. He is not only gifted in the athletic aspect, he can also hold himself well in the academic aspect.

Strutting around the school like a peacock, as if he runs the school, and maybe he looks like it from the swooning glances he gets from the ladies and the envious looks from the guys. With his charming smile, messy hair that compliments his features, and laid back attitude, James Potter can attract anyone and everyone.

Well, anyone but the one he wants.

Dorcas and Marlene sighs at the sad, and almost pathetic efforts to woo their friend. While James is trying his best to appear cool and composed, they know the young man well enough that his palms is sweating by the way he brushes them in his trousers, his stance is somewhat off by the ways he’s constantly shifting his weight from side to side, the way he constantly brushes his hair back, and if they squint closely, they can see how the corners of his lips are shaking in his smile.

Meanwhile, Lily Evans could care less. Despite her look being indifferent and the way she nods her head from time to time, she has this far away look in her eyes. Dorcas and Marlene shares a concerned look, if the rumors are true, then that event from yesterday and last night are the cause of it.

Lily then made an excuse from the looks of it before walking away towards them and James looking surprised. It’s the first time that Lily actually made a civil excuse to get away from his attempt at making a conversation rather than cussing him out and walking away.

Dorcas hummed, tearing away her look once she sees Lily walking towards their seat to look at Marlene. “You think she knows?”

“Only way to find out is when she walks through that door,” Marlene replies before sipping on her tea. As if she’s summoned, (Y/N) walks into the dining hall right after Lily takes her seat beside Dorcas who rubs a hand on her back comfortingly.

“Oooh, she definitely knows something,” Marlene smirks in her cup.

Lily and (Y/N) couldn’t be any more different from each other despite being twins, well, fraternal twins. Although the twins share those deep, forest green eyes, and a few quirks and mannerisms, everything else couldn’t be anymore different.

Lily is known for her famous, shiny, flaming red locks with a matching extroverted fiery personality, a beautiful stars of prominent freckles painted all over her face and body, always with her big group of female friends wherever she goes and is academically competitive. An overachiever honor student. Hence, joining a few orgs that catches her interest to broaden her horizon in the Wizarding World. Lily Evans is unafraid to speak what’s on her mind and call people out on their bullshit, earning her the title of the Gryffindor Princess.

Unlike her older sister, (Y/N)’s hair does not command the attention of the room upon entering. Although it’s still beautiful on its own way, being pitch black even when the sun hits her hair. She also sports freckles on her face, not as noticeable and its only littered around her nose, cheeks, and a little on the chin. (Y/N) mostly keeps to herself but enjoys the company of her two friends, Pandora and Elisia. She’s not as intense in academics, but still impressive as she only falls right behind her sister, being number 2 in their whole year. (Y/N) is more mellow compared to her sister, though still sporting that fiery temper but is rarely shown and more controlled. That doesn’t mean she can’t show her blatant dislike for her someone, her face says everything without uttering a single word.

The two sisters couldn’t be any more different physical and personality wise, yet are the most desirable bachelorette in the castle to both muggle born and purebloods (they will never admit it publicly other than a few friends).

You would think that between the two of them, Lily is the most terrifying. But if you ask Lily Evans herself, she would only smile at you and say: “you have no idea.”

James instinctively raised his arms and swiftly moves aside before (Y/N) crashes to him by the way she walks. The woman usually sports her rbf (resting bitch face) which is often mistaken as annoyed or indifferent, but her face is now devoid of any emotion. Like suppressing a fire beneath the exterior. The only evident clue about her burning rage is her body language, the frown on her lips, and her clenched jaw. None of her admirers dares to approach or even bother her once she sits down beside Pandora on the Ravenclaw table.

“Isn’t she a part of the dueling org? And she’s with you, right?” Marlene nods at Dorcas’ question. “And there is a compulsory meeting this afternoon to welcome new comers?”

“Who are you talking about?” Lily asks with a bit of her toast, getting her answer when Marlene nods her head towards her twins’ direction.

“Yeah, there is, what about it?”

Dorcas shrugs her shoulders, sneaking a glance towards Ravenclaw’s way. Noting the way (Y/N) had a fist resting on her cheek with her elbow propped on the table, blowing on her coffee before taking a sip, face still visibly annoyed.

“Can non members watch later?”

~~~

“Think Snivellus’ll show up his face today?” Sirius jumps towards James’ back, wrapping an arm around his shoulder as they walk towards the Dueling Org’s room.

James scoffs, “better not or its on sight.”

The pair followed the clump of first year students who are taking their time ogling at the wide infrastructure of the room. The walls are lined with ceiling to floor windows, craved with different magical creatures ranging from the tiny fairies to the huge dragons seemingly soaring through the sky. In the middle of the room, four pairs of tables are assembled together to create a stage where practice spells are demonstrated and duels will commence.

Students are idly chatting around the tables, the first years almost bouncing around excitedly from the front whilst the older years can feel their nerves shake from the building adrenaline the more they wait. Having the compulsory meeting as a welcome to new new members means having the chance to be picked in a duel demonstration.

Professor Flitwick and Professor Slughorn stands on the make believe stage of the room, talking amongst themselves and another student. Sirius Black smirks upon seeing her figure from beside the professors, taking notes in whatever they are talking about. Sirius taps James’ chest to direct his attention towards (Y/N). The two of them share a knowing smirk before walking towards where she is.

(Y/N) had barely touch a foot down to the ground when she hears the annoying voice of a certain, older Black.

“How is my favorite Evans doing today?”

She could feel a headache forming earlier today, it turns worse when she saw the infuriating grins by what she calls the Dumb and Dumber Duo. There in front of her stands James Potter and Sirius Black, shoulder to shoulder with arms crossed against their chests, a playful gleam in their eyes as they peer down at her.

She sighs and rolls their eyes at them, before turning her back against them and looking through the notes she just made. “What do you idiots want now?”

“Can’t I just approach my favorite sister-in-law for no reason?” James playfully pouts, approaching her side and wrapping an arm around her which earned him a hard shove against his chest that has him wheezing on impact.

“Eugh. As if.”

“Oh come on now, Sweetie Pie,” (Y/N)’s face scrunches up in disgust when she feels a breath on the other side of her face and her hair getting twirled around a finger. Sirius shot her a playful wink and smile when she slaps his hand away and takes two steps back, his proximity is too close to her liking.

“Didn’t I already tell you not to call me that?” Sirius tilts his head in confusion, smile still on his face, “did you?”

“Yes, I did you mongrel,” (Y/N) says with a roll of her eyes. “I’ve told you countless of times already.”

“Really?” The tall man mocks, placing his pointer finger and thumb on his chin and looks up, painting himself to be thinking of a deep thought.

“Hm, I don’t remember. Mate, you remember anything about (Y/N) Evans telling me to stop calling her Sweetie Pie, Honeybunch, Sugar Pie, Light of my Life, Apple of my Eye, Baby Babe, and Darling Princess?”

(Y/N)’s eye and fingers twitches at the sheer audacity of the man in front of her, her grip on her pen tightening to the verge of snapping when James skips to Sirius’ side with a faux, innocent wide eyes.

“Really? She said that? When?”

James mirrors Sirius’ pose, the duo somehow forming an innocent aura around the two of them. To the first years, it seems like two men deep in their thoughts, to those who knows better, the two idiotic duo are up to something again.

(Y/N) is one of the people who knows better. Yet before she can conjure up her wand to send a stinging spell their way. Professor Slughorn calls everybody’s attention to the front to start the introduction.

Sirius stuck himself to her side whilst James positions himself to his other side, hoping to catch a glimpse of Severus and send a certain finger his way.

The other first years and new members flocked themselves to the front, squeezing themselves together as much as they can to listen eagerly and get the best view. Unknowingly shoving the three sixth years together until their shoulders press together.

It might be a sharp quill or paper, but something stung (Y/N) on her arm causing her to let out a low hiss and instinctively pull it away, all without looking at the perpetuator.

Sirius looks down at her, brows furrowing when he catches her pull her arm away and the eager first years once again pushing themselves and crowding the front row.

“Hey, hey, hey.” He calls out loudly, taking (Y/N)’s shoulder and pushing her against his side whilst he holds the other arm out towards the first years. The small crowd looks at him with slight fear in their eyes at the strict tone of his voice and freezes in their feet.

“Stop pushing guys,” he reprimands. “I assure you all will see and hear everything, but let’s avoid an accident by not pushing and let’s make some space, yeah?”

Sirius shoots them a charming smile as he uses his hand to motion a push to create some space. As if activating his Black Charm, the girls swooned at his strong and charming appeal and immediately listened to him, taking a few steps back while keeping their eyes at him. Emitting girlish giggles while the boys scoffs and turns their heads away, still following them nonetheless.

(Y/N)’s eyes widens at how effective and fast Sirius can make the crowd listen to him, she almost finds it admirable. She gently pushes herself away from him and looks up at him with an impressed look.

“Thanks,” she says before looking at the front again. “Not bad, Black.”

Stunned, Sirius’ eyes widens at her acknowledgement of him. She rarely, or him ever, compliments him on anything. Although he had never done anything worth complimenting before. He made a happy sound at her, eyes almost disappearing at how large grin makes its way in his face. There’s a bounce in his step when he turns his direction to Professor Slughorn again. This time, he stands more taller with his posture straight and chin tilted upwards, a small, proud smile still on his face.

James looks at his mate with a playful scoff before shaking his head, finding the situation all too amusing. Unaware that he acts a lot more worse with Lily, and she doesn’t even acknowledge his presence most of the time other than calling him out on his bullshit.

The meeting continues on with discussing the rules, attendance, and basic etiquettes of dueling. The long lecture already had some of the older years almost dozing off due to boredom as they have had this discussion before. James falls victim to that boredom, opening his mouth widely to yawn without any sound and shaking his head to shake away his tiredness.

Sirius, on the other hand, is having the time of his life by constantly teasing the younger Evans beside him, poking her constantly and unnecessarily commenting to her about anything and everything. He only stops momentarily when (Y/N) pinches his arm so hard that he had to stick himself to James’ side, rubbing the wounded area before talking (Y/N)’s ears off after the pain disappeared. (It was bruised when he checked.)

“Now,” Professor Slughorn claps his hands once, effectively gaining the attention of everyone, including those who are in the midst of dozing off.

“Now that the rules and regulations are stated, I do hope you all take it seriously and to heart. After all, punishments are not to be taken lightly.”

“To formally start off the welcoming ceremony of the Dueling Club,” the older students perk up at Professor Flitwick’s insinuation. James, Sirius, and (Y/N)’s back straightens, feeling their fingers twitch in anticipation. “Professor Slughorn and I will choose students from the older years to give you a glimpse of a proper duel.”

The older students starts whispering excitedly, some playfully raising their hands in hopes that they will be picked while some try to turn their heads away to avoid being seen. James and Sirius holds their head up high, if the professors want to show the new comers some entertainment, it is in their best option to pick them two. If it’s a show they want, then it’s a show they’ll get.

Professor Slughorn and Professor Flitwick whispered amongst themselves before nodding and walking to the other ends of the stage, anticipation and excitement fills the air once they face the students.

“From my house,” Professor Slughorn starts, “I would like to call upon Mr. Severus Snape as one of the students for demonstration.”

Giggles and small laughter can be heard in the room, the heads around Snape’s area turn to look at him with proud smiles and pats on his shoulders. Of course the idiot will surround himself with the other posies after yesterday’s event. They are the only ones left who will so much as talk to him.

James, Sirius, and (Y/N)’s eyes narrows, shooting stabbing glare towards Snape’s direction as her climbs up the stage and proceeds to where Professor Slughorn is standing. The older man clasps his shoulder and wished him a silent good luck.

“If Professor Flitwick picks me, I’ll make sure to end this lesson with him bald to put an end to his greasy monstrosity of a hair.” James says, crossing his arms while not tearing his gaze away from the Slytherin boy in front.

“Oh please, you’ll be just doing us a small favor.” (Y/N) scoffs, “I don’t think his hair is the only greasy thing about him.”

“I bet you, he’s never heard of a body exfoliator and wash cloth before.” Sirius adds, lips twisted downwards as they continue to stare daggers at him. “I don’t think he even knows what a regular shower is.”

The three chuckled darkly before Professor Flitwick calls upon one of them.

“In that case, I will pick out someone from my house as well. Ah, Miss (Y/N) Evans, would you kindly join us?”

“Certainly professor,” (Y/N) replies with a smirk and a wicked gleam in her eyes before quickly masking it with a beam and wide eyes. She immediately walks up the stage, head high and shoulders squared, causing the young boys and girls to awe in the confident aura she’s portraying.

Throughout the years, Severus Snape gained more confidence for himself, getting acknowledge and praised for his growing mastery at potions, and surrounding himself with fellow Slytherins with the same aspirations in life. His friendship with Lily really helped him out throughout all the unfavorable events that happened to him, and although he should also be friends with (Y/N) by extension since they all grew up together, they never really clicked but remained civil.

(Y/N) had always kept her mouth shut about her opinions on Severus Snape in respect towards Lily. She never understood why Lily would befriend him when he does, and is still doing questionable things, and his whole vibe is off. Her older sister was protective of their friendship, even once not talking for a week when (Y/N) said she refuses to be in the same room as him without her. It was one of the hardest week of her life. Ever since then, she never brought him up to anything ever again unless Lily started it.

However, due to him calling her a mudblood yesterday, the unspoken civilized rule between the two of them shattered.

Severus Snape never thought he would experience so much fear just by looking at someone’s eyes. There was ringing on his ears and sweat starting to form on his forehead, he grips his wand for some sort of comfort with a shaky hand while trying to maintain eye contact with her.

He doesn’t know why he’s so terrified, (Y/N) is just standing in front of him with arms crossed over her chest with her head tilting down to hear what Professor Flitwick is talking about. She nods her head from time to time but her face remains devoid of any emotion and green eyes are still burning deep to his soul. Snape gulps down, praying to whoever is out there that no one can see how difficult it is to hide how terrified he is right now.

It’s just (Y/N), he never has to worry around her before. Besides, she’s not much of a duelist and he’s probably better than her. She can hold her own but nothing special nor spectacular about the way she duels. She’s lost more than won duels from last year. Snape shakes his head and rolls his head around to release the tension, it’s just her look that’s making him terrified. Yes, that’s right, he soothes himself, I’ll be fine. He’s a better duelist than (Y/N) will ever be.

A sigh of relief escapes his lips before quirking up to an arrogant smirk. His posture changes, from his shoulders slightly hunch back, chin tucked on his chest causing his disgusting greasy hair to cover his face, to standing tall with an overconfident aura about him, sporting a nasty smile that almost looks like a grimace.

It’s just (Y/N) , what could happen? Snape thought, now casually twirling his wand around.

Sirius and James noticed the shift within Snape from their view. They grit their teeth in annoyance and worry about their friend (at least, they consider her as one, they don’t know if she considers them as one). Sirius feels his fingers twitch, wanting nothing more to take his wand out and blast the ever living shit out of the man to snap him out of his arrogant stance.

“We ought to teach him a lesson,” James says through gritted teeth, Sirius only hums in response.

Professor Flitwick was saying something to the class, but Sirius couldn’t hear anything that comes out of his mouth. He looks at where (Y/N) is standing, he’ll say that he’s surprised, but he honestly expected it.

(Y/N) remains the same, except this time, she had her head tilting downwards as she stares at Snape through her lashes with lidded eyes, a reminiscent of a taunting snake. Sirius let’s out an impressed noise, he’s 100% sure that if she wasn’t sorted into Ravenclaw, she would have perfectly fit in with Slytherin house.

Sixth year students know that (Y/N) is not the best duelist out there, but Sirius can’t help but feel that there is nothing to worry about. He hums as he crosses his arms against his chest, still looking at her when the two of them starts walking towards the center of the stage, wands in front of their faces in customary respect to formally start the duel.

James looks at him, stunned at the laid-back demeanor of his best friend. He taps him on the chest, “mate, why do you look like that? Your crush is over there about to have a duel with that git.”

“Relax, James,” Sirius glances at him briefly before looking at her again, the smirk still on his face. “Just watch.”

Five paces apart, now the two are facing each other with wands drawn. Snape smirks, opening his mouth to conjure up his spell, “confringo!”

“Protego!” (Y/N) let’s out instantly, effectively blocking the spell with a wave of her arm. The way she projects the shield spell causes a ripple effect, making Snape stagger back before regaining his footing while she remains the same.

Snape’s eyes widens at the force of the spell. She didn’t even use Protego Maxima to project that kind of ripple effect. It was just a simple spell, Snape gulps, but why the hell was it so strong? Enraged, Snape grits his teeth holding onto his wand tightly before swinging his arm and shoots another spell. “Everte Statum!”

(Y/N) successfully blocks the spell without moving an inch. The nonchalant attitude of hers rubs Snape off the wrong way, further frustrating him. He then sends spell after spell after her, his adrenaline getting the best of him as he hurls his arm left and right while taking step forward after each step. His face contouring, not bothering to hide his frustration anymore.

Professor Flitwick sees this, and calls him out, “easy on the spells Mr. Snape! This is just a demonstration.”

The younger crowd watch in awe at the display of magic, witnessing the how much potential possibilities they have with the use of magic. They watch with eager eyes at the colorful display of cells Snape lets out from his wand and how flawlessly it is counteract by (Y/N). His group of friends continues to cheer him on and constantly belittling her calling her names, shuting up only when Professor Slughorn called by out and someone sending a stinging jinx at them. All of them had to exit the room immediately to head on to the infirmary room.

Sirius continues to glare daggers at Snape, his fingers gripping tightly into his arm as he watches (Y/N) continuously blocking spells but not doing anything to counter back. He gnaws on the bottom of his lip, wondering what the hell is your plan? Do you even have one?

Gusts of wind blows (Y/N)’s hair back as she continues to counter spell. It’s beginning to tire her arm out, and frankly, it was starting to bore her. The force of a spell causes her to momentarily stumble back, and that distraction is all Snape needs. ”Mimblewimble!”

Gasps echo around the room as they witness (Y/N) recoil back from the force of the spell, sending her straight to the floor with her back first, effectively punching the air off of her.

James and Sirius let out a shout of concern an disbelief, immediately running to the side of the stage. James had to hold on to Sirius’ sleeve to prevent him from jumping up. Shouting out strings of curses that shocked the first years and reprimanded by Professor Flitwick who’s tending to his student.

“Watch your mouths Mr. Potter and Mr. Black!” He scolds before turning his attention to his student, who is now shaking her head, arms and elbows on the side of her as she props up her body on the floor. “Are you well Ms. Evans? Can you stand?”

(Y/N) cracks her neck to the side before opening her mouth to answer her professor, but nothing coherent escapes her lips. The Mimblewimble spell ties the targets tongue in a knot, preventing them from making a coherent speech, or saying incantations correctly.

She clicks her tongue in annoyance, standing up after nodding to the head of her house, signaling that she is fine and is still able to duel. She made a show of dusting her skirt a cloak, then making her way towards the center of the stage once again.

Snape looks rather pleased with himself, much to the annoyance of James and Sirius. If looks could kill, the Slytherin would be dead from the moment he set foot on stage.

“Wands at the ready!” Professor Slughorn says, the two students immediately had their wands up, waiting for the signal. A beat has passed, then two. “Begin!”

“Immo-” Snape could himself ascend from the ground before he can even finish talking.

Wordlessly, (Y/N) blasted him a spell that sent him flying out the ground. A shout escapes his lips until his body roughly slams down to the ground with a loud thud. A sound of ‘oohh’ escapes most of the audience while James and Sirius lets out a victorious ‘yeah!’

It takes a few seconds for Snape to snap out of it, tapping Professor Slughorn’s arm when the former offered his hand out to help. To say that Snape is completely taken aback is an understatement, because how the hell did (Y/N) know how to use wordless magic before him? That requires intense concentration, skill, and proper technique.

A muggleborn besting him at something? And humiliating him in front of everybody in this room? No, that is not acceptable.

Snape’s face contorts again into that ugly face he likes to show as he sends furious spell after spell again after the signal. However, unlike the beginning, (Y/N) didn’t only counter spells, she also started sending one of her down.

Students watch in awe at the two who looks like they are fencing with the way they both take steps forward and back, symbolic of a dangerous dance the two are tangled in. The new-comers think that these are the two most eloquent and dangerous students in the org. However, older students will tell you that this is the first time someone lasts this long in a wordless duel, let alone a sixth-year student. A pretty impressive feat that not even older witches and wizards have mastered, yet alone confident enough to perform it.

Here is (Y/N) Evans, going from a mediocre duelist to being one of the best in school. A muggle born who struggles to think and recite spells during duels is now blasting magic left and right as if it was as easy as breathing. No word or sound escapes her as she continues shooting spells left and right before ending the duel.

“Yeah! Yeah! Kick his ass!” Marlene and Dorothy shouts from the back.

(Y/N)’s lets out a jet of water, not enough to take Snape down but enough to push him back and lose balance. His mouth then starts bubbling up with soap as she uses scourgify (to which James and Sirius laughs loudly at) before bandages wraps itself around the head out of thin air, effectively blinding him and covering his mouth. Snape’s hand went to his face in a panic to claw the bandages away from his face and spit out the putrid taste of soap in his mouth, yet he is unable to when (Y/N) turns her body to gain momentum for the spell, throws her wand out, sends the final blow, immobilizing him and sending his paralyzed form down the ground.

His body falls down the floor with a thud. The room is silent, then booming cheers fills the room.

(Y/N) hums at the sight of Severus Snape on the ground, now currently being tended to by Professor Slughorn who is undoing the effects of her spells. She twirls her wand around her finger twice before tucking it into her pocket, then facing the crowd with a grin and curtsying for them.

Professor Flitwick claps his hand, congratulating his student with a tap on her hand. “Well done my dear! I see you’ve been working on what I taught you. Hurry along now to Madame Pomfrey, get that spell of yours fixed with an antidote.”

The said girl hums and nods her head in agreement before bouncing down the steps, feeling much more better and preppy than this morning.

(Y/N) meets the awestruck faces of James and Sirius whose jaws are open in shock along her way, shooting them a teasing smirk and a wink. She pass by them with an air of arrogance she rarely sports, but she’s proud of herself this time. Basking in the attention of heads turning towards her with stars and envy in their eyes.

They continue watching the girl as she walks towards the door with a bounce on her step, hands out in a girly way, and hips subtly swaying from side to side with the crowd parting their way for her.

James feels a shiver down his spine as he witness the raw power and skill she has. Now all too aware that she can kick his ass anytime if he ever pushes her or her sister again. “I’m gonna be nice to her now.”

“Yeah? You do that,” James turns his attention to his best mate. Rolling his eyes at the love struck gaze he still holds after the woman exits through the door, eyes still fixated on it.

“I’m gonna marry her.”

note: idk why, I sat down for three days straight and started writing this. It's originally a series, but I don't know if you guys would like it.

[bonniesfamiliar]

DIMENSION TRAVEL STORY IDEA: Summary: Harriet "Harry" James Potter has travelled to an alternate dimension during a spell gone wrong (Kreacher's actually responsible cuz he cares about Harry since she's the Lady of the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black) Harriet knows it's an alternate dimension cuz she finds a newspaper stand and lo and behold, who's on the front cover? Tom. Fucking. Riddle. But not the ugly Voldemort Tom Riddle she killed. No this is young Tom Riddle who grew up FINE AS HELL.

And he's on the front page cuz he's The Minister of Magic and guess what he's talking about.

Dumbledore.

He's talking about Dumbledore.

And not manipulative gramps Dumbledore whose beard is longer than my hair.

No.

We're talking about this one

You know why he's talking about this Dumbledore?

Because Albus. Percival. Fucking. Dumbledore decided to become the epitome of "Be Gay, Do Crime," with Gellert Grindelwald, his husband.

DUMBLEDORE IS A DARK LORD WITH HIS HUBBY

So Harriet is obviously freaking out and does the right thing.

She goes to a pub and drinks her sorrows away in Scottish Whiskey, (Thank you, Minny)

But Harry never makes reasonable decisions so when she finds a quill and paper, guess what she does.

She writes to Misinter Riddle.

But the drama doesn't end there.

Whenever Harriet does anything, whether she writes or talks about Tom Riddle, she doesn't speak in English.

She talks in Pareseltongue.

(Cuz she and tom are the only Parselmouths. I think.)

So Parseltongue.

Harriet writes in parseltongue to the Minister of Fucking Magic on his wrongdoings in her universe.

The letter literally looks like this:

ssss ssss sssssssss ss ssssss s sss ssssssss ssssss sss sss ss ssss ssssssss ssssssss ssss ssssss sssssss ss ss sssssssss and that transcribes to 

"Dear Lord Voldemort, or should I say Minister Riddle, you are an ugly noseless hairless evil snakey bastard in my dimension,"

and cuz she's spiteful, she signs it off with "You-Know-Who"

But the thing is Harriet never mentioned her name or who her parents were.

So when Minister Riddle receives this letter, he freaks out and then does everything he can to find this person.

Not to kill them.

But to woo them.

This kind, thoughtful person has travelled from another dimension just to stop him from becoming evil.

AND THEY'RE A PARSELMOUTH.'

THEY'RE OBVIOUSLY HIS SNAKE MATE. (cuz he killed all of the Gaunts and Riddles so they're not family)

You can bet ur ass he was squealing to Nagini at the thought of having another Parselmouth in the world with him.

He's obsessed.

(He's not tom riddle if he doesn't have possessive issues and his jealousy issues are just as bad.🤭🤭🤭🥰🥰🥰😩😩😩)

Like it's not a want.

It's a need.

He needs the writer of this letter to be with him forever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and-

You probably get the idea.

Anyway, 1 year goes by.

Tom Riddle: I MUST FIND THIS PERSON AND MAKE THEM MINE

Harriet Potter: *forgets about even writing the letter* 

Tom is growing more obsessed as the days go by and then he meets a woman at a charity ball held for idk an organisation for potieneers? Potion Masters?

She's chatting up with Lord and Lady Dagworth-Granger cuz she's been working with them cuz they remind her of Hermione and she needed a job.

Anyway, he approaches the couple in hopes of talking to them and Harriet sees Minister Riddle approaching and quickly moves away to head to the drinks table.

And then lets out a breath of relief when she realises he wasn't heading for her.

She schmoozes for a few more minutes before calling it quits and heading out for fresh air.

The party is at the Dagworth-Granger's manor so she goes out to the gardens.

And hears a cry for help.

Her Gryffindor instincts push her to run towards the sound of danger.

But her Slytherin side made her hide behind the wall from where the cry of help had come from.

It was a witch being harassed by two wizards.

One of the wizards was holding her wand, taunting her.

While the other had begun to take off her outfit.

Before it could go any further, she brought the men's attention to her and with a flick of her wrist, Harriet had the men on their knees.

She then walked over to the one holding the witch's wand and grabbed it out of his hand, accidentally snapping his wrist in the process.

She gave the witch her wand back and accepted the shaky hug she received.

Harriet waited until the witch was out of sight before she turned to the men and smiled, watching as their faces fell into horror as they saw the fangs in her mouth.

(I'm in love with the prompt by a post on tumblr where  Basilisk!Harry is hugging Kneazle!Hermione and Dragon!Ron also wants his cuddles. I can't find the person who made it but I've lived by the idea that these would be their animagus forms if they ever performed the spell like James Potter, Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew had done to become illegal animagi for Remus Lupin)

Harriet rips into their throats, feeds on them and then turns their bodies into ash with the fiendryfire spell.

She grabbed a mirror from her purse to erase the blood from her face and clothes and began to walk away lest anyone come looking for the wizards.

But, Harriet suddenly slammed into what felt like a wall.

A very warm wall.

Regaining her bearings, Harriet looked up to notice that the "wall" was MINISTER RIDDLE.

AND HE WAS HOLDING HER ARMS.

"Minister Riddle, what are you doing here?" She said pasting a smile on her face.

Shift of POV:

Minister Riddle internally sighed at being stuck in another ball instead of being at home, analysing the letter once again.

He was certain it was a woman who sent it as there was a red lipstick kiss on the paper after it was signed sss-ssss-sss (You-Know-Who)

His thoughts are cut off when Lady Dagworth-Granger asks her husband where Harriet is.

Who is Harriet? he muses but when Lord Dagworth-Granger offers to look in the gardens, Tom leaps at the chance to run away from the party.

He goes into the gardens aimlessly walking around for a few minutes, lost in his thoughts of his mysterious parselmouth when a witch comes out of nowhere and collides with him.

He uprighted her by placing his hands on her arms and looked on curiously as she seemed to freeze in place when she looked up to see that it was he she bumped into.

Tom Riddle is the one to freeze when she speaks.

"Minister Riddle, what are you doing here?" She says an innocent smile on her face as if she had no idea his whole world had just flipped on its axis.

Parseltongue.

She's speaking in parseltongue.

She's his parselmouth.

The one from another dimension.

But he had to clarify so he replies honestly for the first time in his life, in parseltongue, "I've been looking for you," 

"Searching for me? Whatever for?"

A boyish smile widens on his face before he forces it into a polite smile.

"The Lord and Lady Dagworth-Granger have been searching for you, Miss Harriet I believe you are?" He reverts to English to test if she notices the change but she doesn't.

She just replies in English, "Ah, I see. I disappeared for too long with my break from the stuffiness of the ball and yes, I am Harriet."

Harriet, he muses in his mind, no last name to give for me.

She extends her gloved hand for him to shake but Tom riddle reaches for both of her hands and turns them over to kiss them gently and forces himself not to give into the urge of nuzzling into her hands (well not yet at least) and without letting them go, he straightens to his full height to tower over her (giving him a thrill at knowing she was shorter, meaning he could easily pick her up and carry her, be it over his shoulders or bridal style) and replies, "It's a pleasure to meet you, Harriet. No last name?"

(Harriet has been wearing gloves cuz of the 'I must not tell lies' scars that cover her hands.)

Harriet smiles teasingly towards him and his cold heart thaws ever so, "I couldn't decide on a last name and I've decided I like the mysterious aura it gives me,"

Or maybe she couldn't risk using her real last name because she was from a different dimension, Tom muses in his mind, Nevertheless, Harriet Riddle has a lovely ring to it.

Harriet Potter: *staring confused at Tom Riddle as he smiles down at her

Tom Riddle: *Winter would be a lovely time to get married, wouldn't it?

I'm stopping here cuz it's a summary, not a story. Yes, I'm Evil.

Tell me if you like it tho.

I was this close *makes an inch between her fingers* to making this a Soulmate AU story.

Think of the angst that Harriet would go through all her life knowing that her soulmate's words to her are:  I've been looking for you

And it's an alternate hotter version of Tom Riddle, AKA THE BAD GUY WHO MURDERED HER PARENTS 

And think of how Harriet's words had motivated Tom his entire life to do his best to work hard (and cheat death) to live long enough for his soulmate to see him one day at a place be it a library or a gala or a hallway and ask him: Minister Riddle, what are you doing here?

Huh.

Maybe I should make them soulmates.

I need a timeline. fuck.

Um.

Riddle was educated at Hogwarts from 1938 to 1945, and was sorted into Slytherin House, a nod to his ancestor Salazar Slytherin.

Making Tom 34 cuz 1927 is the year Tom was born in if he went to Hogwarts in 1938 which would make him 11 in 1938 and 38-11 is 27 so 1927 is when he was born.

61-27=34 so Harriet is in 1961 but cuz of the time skip tom is 35 years old in 1962

Harriet was born in 1980 

The Second War technically began on 24 June, 1995, though was not officially announced by the Ministry until nearly a year later on 17 June, 1996, and ended on 2 May, 1998, at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, after the death of the Dark Lord.

Which made Harriet 18 in 1998, 24 in 2004, 24 in 1961 and 25 in 1962

 but she deserves peace so the year Kreacher sent her back was 2004 which would make her 24 cuz he's horrified that she hasn't attempted to romance anyone since Cedric Diggory.

Tbh, if he was my bf I would never love again.

But then hubby "I would burn the world down for you and rebuild a new one from its ashes" tom riddle is here and I'm like Cedric who?

But none of them compare to (long list of titles, I'll research later.) Harriet James Potter.

[inkdrinkerworld]

Thoughts on Beefy!james with a reader who is sarcastic and acts confident but deep down is shy when it comes to affection and pda and just James being a loverboy

oh oh is this play about us??? [me and you??]

you’re loud by nature. easily the center of attention with your friends.

you’re a little flirty(that’s what they’ve said), you’re easy going and you can make jokes to make everyone laugh.

that goes out the window the second you see james and he spots you too.

your brain turns to mush when his hand settles on your lower back, stroking the sliver of exposed skin there.

“hi angel,” his lips stamp to your temple, effectively cutting off what you were telling your friends.

“here it comes.” they never let you live it down, neither does james really- though he’s sweeter than they are about it.

“hi jamie,” your words are shy and all lovesick and james would be a damn liar if he denied how it made his heart race and head spin.

the loudmouth girl melting on the spot the second he says something sweet.

“how was your day?” your friends know he’s got your attention from now, and make their way to their cars, bidding you goodbye with a sarcastic kissing noise.

“good,” james threads your fingers together as he walks you in the direction of his suv.

he hears your breath hitch a little and the smile that breaks out on his face is beautiful.

“am i gonna get my kiss, angel?” he asks as he helps you into the passenger side.

your eyes widen, hands falling to his chest as he leans in. “here?”

james is no strange to you and pda, he likes the way you go all shy on him. makes him feel like he’s doing a good job at wooing you.

“mhm, right here and right in my lips.” your skin heats but you lean up to kiss james, breathless and foggy headed by the time he pulls away.

“thanks pretty girl.” you’re too overwhelmed to say anything, to do anything too- not much more than give him a bashful little grin.

[veritas-scribblings]

mechanic - @jegulus-microfic - words: 647

If James is to be honest, he’s not the best driver. It’s most likely an attention problem and perhaps also a spacial awareness problem. Not necessarily a lack of skill, just...trouble with not getting distracted.

When James accidentally drives up a tree (hey, it’s dark, and it’s the tree’s fault for being in the middle of the road), he has to take his car off to the mechanic’s with his tail between his legs. He is just grateful that his mechanic is one Sirius Black, because Sirius gets it. He won’t judge. Sure, he’ll give James absolute shit for being conquered by a tree, but the judgement won’t be there. James can handle a little bit of friendly ribbing.

Getting to Sirius’s shop is a task and a half as his car won’t drive in a straight line anymore. So he steers for the most part to the left and eventually arrives in one piece, albeit with a possible hit out on his life because he’s pissed off a lot of people along the way. James is fully prepared for the barrage of questions he’ll have to answer from a bewildered Sirius Black, when someone in a greasy white shirt and dark-grey overalls steps out. 

Someone who isn’t Sirius.

‘Regulus?’ James asks hesitantly, wishing for all the world that the ground would open and swallow him up whole, because he has had the absolute shittest of days and does not want to have to deal with this. ‘What are you doing here?’

‘Grocery shopping,’ Regulus says flatly. ‘What does it look like I’m doing here?’ He’s staring at James like James is stupid. 

James cringes and feels heat fill his cheeks. Whether it’s heat from embarrassment or a flush of delight from how wonderful Regulus looks in those overalls, a little bit smeared with grease, his hair silky black curls tousled from working around cars all day…

‘What do you need?’ Regulus sighs. He moves closer to inspect the car James has pulled into Sirius’s shop. 

James smiles sheepishly and scratches the back of his neck. ‘Oh, nothing. Just, you know, looking for Sirius. Was going to ask him if he…wants lunch? Or something. Because I’m such a kind, generous friend.’

‘Sure.’ Regulus doesn’t look convinced. ‘What happened to your car?’

Perhaps, James thinks, he’s noticed how dinted the front of James’s car is from his run in with the tree. Regulus isn’t stupid, after all. James is the stupid one. Stupid, because how is he meant to woo Regulus and convince Regulus to go out with him when he has to explain how he drove, quite literally, up a tree?

So James goes with, ‘I didn’t know you’re a qualified mechanic. Are you licensed?’ and then bemoans the fact that the ground has yet to swallow him up, because he’s been working towards asking Regulus out for weeks now, and here is accusing the guy of his dreams of practising as an unlicensed mechanic.

‘Am I licensed?’ Regulus repeats, raising a single eyebrow and managing to look so wonderfully elegant while doing so. ‘What happened to your car, James?’ 

Cringing, James tips his head to the side and scratches the back of his neck awkwardly. He’d been prepared to tell Sirius, because Sirius is his best friend, his adoptive brother, and Sirius won’t judge. Regulus, however. Regulus will judge and he will judge hard and shamelessly. He already looks ready to judge with that crooked, amused smile of his. 

This will set James’s plan of wooing and romancing Regulus Black back a few steps. He had planned on coming off confident and competent, because this is Regulus Black he’s trying to win over. But hey, maybe Regulus will find this all so adorable. Maybe it’ll be one of the quirks that makes him unique?

‘Well,’ James begins. ‘It was dark, see…and there was this tree…’

[softshrimpy]

How To Woo A Hot Principal

Chapter 1/?: Step 1- Shameless Flirting

Summary: Working at the weathervane was exactly what you needed. The routine, the people, your co-worked. It certainly helped that a certain tall, blonde, fucking gorgeous woman happened to frequent the cafe. Now some may call hopelessly flirting with your customers inappropriate behavior.

But truly, when it came it Larissa Weems, who could blame you?

I’m just in love with Larissa Weems and a silly bitch. I hope you enjoy ✨🦐

Chapter 2

Cross posted to AO3 Here

HTWAHP Masterlist

——————————————————————————

“Just because I like older women does not mean I’m a homewrecker.”

“Huh, interesting.”

“You’re telling me you’ve known me for three months now and this whole time you thought I was out here waiting to ruin a marriage?”

“In my defence-“

“I can’t believe this, I thought we were friends Kingston. Now I have to rethink everything.” You sighed, dramatically.

“You’re the most dramatic person I’ve ever met.” He chuckles.

You slap him with your cloth, scoffing at his comment before going back to cleaning the coffee machine.

You had been in Jericho for a total of three and a half months. It was a quaint little town, a bit hyper-focused on their pilgrim ancestry but not the worst small town you’d experienced. You had been working at the Weathervane since you’d arrived, enjoying the routine it provided and the socializing. That was where you had met James Kingston (A British man disguised as a regular person in your professional opinion. I mean what kind of name is James Kingston anyway?). The two of you had become fast friends, partly due to the work you did and partly because he found you hilarious and you found him tolerable. (this is a lie, you love him dearly.)

Working as a barista meant you got to know most of the residents of Jericho quite quickly. Some you found infinitely more interesting than others.

“Oh look its your lady crush.” James comments, wheezing when you whip around from what you were doing to stare out the window.

“Shut up, I just- I respect a woman in power that’s all.”

“Oh I’m sure its all respect in that filthy brain of yours when you think of her.”

“Fuck off.” You laughed, hurrying to the register when you saw her coming through the door.

“Good morning miss Weems.” You greeted, doing your best to shut your heart up and give her a relatively normal smile.

“How many times have I told you to call me Larissa darling.” She smiles, much to the chagrin of your heart-calming plans.

“She’s a bit slow this one.” James jokes, earning him a swift kick on the shin.

“Your usual, Larissa?” You ask.

She nods, chuckling at the two of you before moving to sit at one of the booths. Larissa came around often enough, usually in the mornings, you assumed before the academy day officially started. Sometimes she’d come around after dropping one of the students at Dr Kinbotts. You lived for the times she stopped by, almost always kicking James off the register if he was stationed there just to talk to her. So yes, you had a massive crush on the woman. But honestly? Who could blame you? She was a goddess among you mere mortals and you were simply relishing in her heavenly presence when you could.

Christ, you were a useless gay.

You finished making her usual, quickly doodling a small flower next to her name before taking it to her. You place it down on the table with a flourish, bowing dramatically.

“Your coffee my fair lady.”

She chuckles, shaking her head at your antics before standing, coffee in hand.

“Thank you, y/n. You always make my mornings delightful.” She hums, squeezing your arm as she leaves.

You watch as she goes, a dreamy smile on your face, before proudly strutting back behind the counter. James giggles at you earning him yet another smack with the towel.

The rest of your day is pretty mundane. Dr Kinbott stops by at around 12 for her usual. The sheriff comes around and gets an Americano to go (You suspect he’s actually just checking on Tyler.) Throughout the day you’re giddy thanks to Larissa. You often find yourself daydreaming about what it would be like to see her more often. You think perhaps you might actually implode if she were to ever have more than a two-minute conversation with you. You finish up the day with Tyler, letting him leave before closing up. All in all, a regular day in Jericho.

You were working your regular Saturday shift when Larissa arrived, looking rather upset. She placed her order and sat down at a booth, pulling out her laptop and getting to work. You made sure to put a little extra sugar in her coffee and grabbed one of the choc chip cookies before bringing it to her. You placed it down on her table, earning a mumbled thanks as she picked up the coffee. It took her a moment to notice the cookie, but when she did she glanced up at you questioningly.

“It’s on the house. You look like you’re having a shitty day so I thought you could use a little something to make your day a bit better.” You smiled, clasping your hands behind your back.

“You really are too kind to me,” she mumbled, taking a sip of her coffee.

“Pffft, Nah. You deserve it.” You brushed her off. You took a moment before speaking again. “I know we don’t know each other that well but uh if you want to talk I’m here. And I can give brilliant commentary, no advice though, I’d probably encourage murder or something equally illegal.”

She laughs, covering her mouth with her hand. You think her laugh might be one of your favourite sounds.

“That’s very sweet, but aren’t you busy with your work?” she asks.

At that, you throw your apron off and over your shoulder and sit down across from her.

“Galpin’s pretty competent, plus he owes me one anyway. So spill.”

She considers you for a moment, before heaving a sigh.

“The academy is receiving a new student next week.” She starts. “Which under usual circumstances would be fantastic, however, this student happens to be the daughter of… an ex-paramour of mine.” She mumbles, almost drawing in on herself.

“Did they do something awful that made you break up with them?” you ask.

“No actually, uh she broke up with me…for the man that is now her husband.”

You stare at her for a moment, mouth agape.

“You’re telling me someone chose to walk away from you? But you’re- I mean you’re gorgeous and smart and- was she blind?? Was she dumb?? I mean obviously, she was but… what.”

She chuckles at your outburst, cheeks flushing slightly.

“Yes, well, they seem very happy together. And I’m sure she’ll rub that in my face in some offhand way. And she’ll make jokes about me marrying my job because ‘no one else would want me’ which I-I mean it’s not- that’s not why I’m so devoted to the school!”

“She sounds like a bitch.” You comment, “I can throw hot coffee at her if that’ll make you feel better?”

“You’re very sweet but that’s assault darling.”

“I’d literally kill a man for you no questions asked, assault is nothing.”

She chuckles, swatting at your arm before sighing again and dropping her head into her hands.

“Well, look, I don’t know who your ex is, the stupid bitch, but you have become a talented, successful, absolutely gorgeous woman. So, no matter what happened between you or what she does whenever you see her, know that she’s just a jealous, silly old hag who could never be half as brilliant as you are.”

She stares at you at that, her eyes bright. You wait for her to say something, feeling yourself get more nervous the longer she stays silent. You play with your fingers, thinking perhaps you went too far and have now fucked any and all chances of having even a friendship with this gorgeous woman.

You stand up, pull your apron back on and do your best not to overthink every word you’ve said.

“Uhm, sorry, have-have a great day Larissa.” You mumble turning to walk away.

Suddenly she grabs your wrist, stopping you and turning you around. She stands up, towering over you. She looks down at you, a dazzling smile on her face. And then, by the gods, she bends down and presses a kiss to your cheek, and hot fucking damn you almost spontaneously combust on the spot. You stare up at her, awestruck and definitely blushing madly.

“Thank you, y/n” she smiles. “I don’t know what I would do without you.”

And with that, she squeezes your wrist, giving you a dazzling smile and leasing the coffee shop. You watch after her like a lovesick puppy, heart racing.

You’re absolutely whipped for this woman.

Larissa didn’t come around for the next few days. But you knew she was a busy woman, she had things to do. You definitely weren’t considering changing your name and fleeing the country thinking she now didn’t want to see your face again after what you said and her thanking you was just because she felt awkward. Definitely not.

You found yourself glancing out the window every five minutes or perking up whenever the bell above the door would ring, only to deflate when it wasn’t Larissa walking in. You were busy wiping down one of the tables when James appeared at your side.

“My bestie in Christ, you know I love you, but you currently look like an abandoned puppy.”

“I do not,” you scoff.

“Sure, sure... Oh hey, Larissa!”

You whip around faster than you’ve ever moved in your life, coming face to face with an empty doorway. You scowl as you hear James wheeze next to you.

“Don’t forget we work with hot coffee. And accidents happen, Kingston.”

He laughs at your threat, patting your shoulder as he heads back to the counter. You continue working for a while before James pipes up again.

“Oh damn. Good morning miss Weems.”

“That’s it, give me the boiling water I’m giving you the wicked witch of the west treatment.”

“Now why would you be burning your friend at the mention of my name?” a velvet voice speaks from behind you.

You spin around on the spot, gaping at the woman behind you. There she stands, all tall and gorgeous and dreamy. You feel yourself blushing as you try to stand straighter and lean on the table you were cleaning. Unfortunately, you did such a great job that you slip and all but fall on your ass. You’re tempted once again to throw boiling water on James as he cackles at you. Larissa, the kind goddess she is, rushes over and offers you a hand.

When she pulls you up you realize you greatly underestimated how close she would be as you’re now toe to toe with her, staring up at her, cheeks aflame. She smiles down at you, her hand still holding yours as her other arm settles on your waist. You’re barely breathing at this point and then she has the audacity to flash you the cutest smile.

You take your chance to take her in up close, knowing you’ll probably never get this close to the goddess ever again. You notice the crow’s feet at the edge of her eyes and the slight bags under them she tried to hide with makeup. You also notice she smells absolutely fucking divine, you can’t quite pinpoint what it is but it suits her so well. You know you’re staring and you should stop, but you can’t help it.

“You should be more careful, sweetheart.” She murmurs, her eyes sparkling. “I wouldn’t want my favourite barista getting hurt.”

You’re still gaping at her, your brain turned to mush at the way she spoke, low and velvety. You open your mouth to speak but can’t seem to find anything clever to say, for once. Something she takes full advantage of.

“What’s wrong darling? Cat got your tongue?” she whispers, and oh god is she getting closer? She looks closer.

You’re startled back into the waking world when James accidentally drops something, the loud clanging making you jump back from the woman in front of you, heart racing and body flushed. Larissa drops her hands from their hold on you, stepping back slightly. You internally whimper at the loss of her touch and then immediately internally scold yourself for being so uselessly gay.

“So uh, how-how has everything been? I haven’t uh seen you around lately.” You commented, sliding behind the counter and getting started on her drink.

“It’s certainly been an eventful few days, to say the least.“ she sighed, leaning onto the counter.

“Well, you were dearly missed at our humble café.” You remark, placing her drink in front of her.

She chuckles at that taking a sip of her drink before letting out a relaxed sigh.

“God I could’ve used this yesterday.”

“The drink or my riveting conversation?” you joke.

“Perhaps both.” She hums.

“Well, I mean we could always deliver to your office on the days you can’t get here.” James offers, grinning at you.

“Oh no, I wouldn’t want to cause any trouble-” Larissa starts.

“It wouldn’t be any trouble at all. Isn’t that right?” he comments elbowing you suggestively.

“Oh! No of course it would- I would be honoured- I mean it would be my pleasure Larissa really.” You manage, giddy at the prospect of delivering her coffee every day.

“Really you don’t have to go through any extra fuss for me we have coffee at Nevermore so I-“

“You’re worth the fuss though.” You say, and then immediately want to shoot yourself for speaking aloud.

Silence falls between the three of you, Larissa looking shocked, James at a loss and you mentally preparing what to put on your tombstone. It’s a while before Larissa speaks.

“Well, when you put it like that how can I say no hm?”

“So, I get to deliver you coffee every day?” you grin, tapping the counter a few times in excitement.

“If that’s what you want, sweetheart. You can bring it to my office, I’ll expect you before nine.” She hums, turning to leave.

“Yes ma’am! I won’t let you down” you respond, giving her a mock salute.

She chuckles, waving at you and waits a fucking second did she just fucking wink at you?? Oh, Jesus on skates your life just keeps getting better and better. As soon as she’s outside and gone from view you all but squeal, throwing yourself at James.

[luvrsinn]

this is how I imagine friends to lovers with each of the marauders would be :) (no peter sorry)

sirius black is the biggest flirt. he knows it. everyone knows it. and he makes sure that you know it, too.

he would definitely pass you notes in class. most of the time, he tells you about something stupid james said. ( maybe he slips in a subtle compliment or two about your hair or smile once in a while, but hey, who's counting )

makes secret mixtapes with songs that remind him of you :)

you're always willing to lend a shoulder whenever something goes down back home during the breaks or when he receives a particularly nasty letter from his parents

sirius is not sure what he's done to deserve your kindness.

he tags along with you to do homework in the library but gets distracted and stares at you the whole time.

on one such occasion, he's gawking at you like a fool and is mumbling to himself about how he wants to kiss you. only when you stare back at him, brows raised, does he realise he's said it out loud.

he's scrambling to somehow fix what he said but only digs himself deeper. he ends up telling you about his huge crush on you.

you laugh and tell him that you like him too. sirius thinks his chest is about to explode, but he's too happy to pay any mind.

james potter's crush on you is totally obvious to everyone. he thinks he is very good at hiding it but nope.

you're probably the only one who doesn't realise it, though.

he always calls you pretty nicknames just to see the way you brighten up when you hear them.

remus is always giving james advice on how to "woo" you (you've already confided in him that you like james, but he's a firm believer in letting things take their course )

totally the jealous type.

whenever he sees someone trying to flirt with you or ask you out, he's glowering wrathfully at the person.

they always scurry away before you can reject them give them a response.

he always looks for you in the crowd during his games. it makes his whole day when he sees you cheer for him.

he's always saying stuff he's sure you'd find funny. something akin to fondness blooms in his chest when you laugh at one of his jokes.

one day, sirius grows tired of james gushing about you all the time and decides to speed things along.

he calls the both of you to the common room and says, "snog each other and get over it" and promptly walks out, leaving you both stunned.

james decides there's plenty of time to do a lot of that; after he takes you on a date first.

remus lupin is a hundred percent sure that he's made to love you.

most people think he's a bit scary because of how he looks, but he's actually a really big softie (especially 4 u) <33

just the hugs he gives might send you to heaven

you both first met at the library when you accidentally grabbed the same book as him. you hit it off from there.

he always goes out of his way to meet you in the library and talk about the books you're reading.

he occasionally gives you a list of the books he thinks you might like.

soon, you're introduced to the rest of the marauders.

they happily allow you to tag along with them when they're going to hogsmeade together. remus takes your hand and pulls you away from the group once in a while to check out some of the shops.

he loves to hear you talk. whatever you're in the mood to talk about, he's willing to listen for hours.

very protective over you. of course he gives you your own space, but if he finds someone messing with you or making you uncomfortable, he's by your side in an instant.

really, an angel sent from heaven.

after a lot of contemplation, you finally ask him out on a date.

he says yes of course.

when you return from the date, his jacket is around your shoulders.

[winterbonesthings]

I got dirty thoughts, God, I think I need a brainwash by Rainbow_WinterBones

Go directly to Chapter 7: You're gonna catch a cold, from the ice inside your soul

Summary:

Sam asks Bucky to consider dating again, and Zemo rescues Bucky from the awkward follow-up by declaring that they are together. Sam is displeased. Bucky goes along with his misdirection, but Is Zemo being genuine about his affection toward Bucky? or is it just another manipulation? Is Zemo actually wooing Bucky? or is it a ploy to get under Sam's skin?

Rating:

Explicit

Archive Warning:

No Archive Warnings Apply

Category:

M/M

Fandom:

The Falcon and the Winter Soldier (TV)

Relationship:

James "Bucky" Barnes/Helmut Zemo

Characters:

Sam Wilson (Marvel)

James "Bucky" Barnes

Helmut Zemo

Additional Tags:

Nebulous Zemo Parole Universe | Helmut Zemo Paroled from the Raft

Fake/Pretend Relationship

Bucky Barnes Has Issues

Bucky Barnes Zoning Out

Protective Helmut Zemo

Patient Helmut Zemo

BAMF Helmut Zemo

Sam Wilson is So Done

Captain America Sam Wilson

Frenemies Bucky Barnes & Sam Wilson

Sugar Daddy Helmut Zemo

Tags May Change

First Dates

Oral Sex

Bucky Barnes Has Nightmares

Canon-Typical Violence

Break Up

Alcohol

Drinking to Cope

Heavy Drinking

Bucky Barnes & Sam Wilson Friendship

Language: English

Stats:

Published: 2023-11-14

Updated: 2024-11-05

Words: 10,478

Chapters: 7/?

[puuvillaa]

I started a new game in the sims (old game here). I replaced Peter with Lily, so this is going to contain wolfstar and jily, but focuses on wolfstar

This is copied from twitter, which is why it's formatted the way it is

Remus started the game by sitting down to contemplate the emptiness of life, while the others went to look around the house

Remus and Sirius are getting to know each other. Sirius thinks Remus is really hot, 9/10. Remus thinks Sirius is passable, 5/10. Remus flirted with Sirius, Sirius insulted his mother, and when Remus flirted with him again, he got turned down

Sirius is very excited to be interacting with a werewolf, though! Meanwhile, James is exercising and Lily is reading in bed

Sirius is chatting with someone online, banging his head on the keyboard. Remus is reading in James’s bed

Lily and Sirius are the first ones to make friends. Also at this point I can say I have made the executive decision to pair Remus and Sirius to each other. Good luck to Sirius, though, Remus has commitment issues

Sirius has taken up fishing. He might want to rethink where he goes to do it, though:

Remus and Sirius’s excessive flirting ended up with them having shower sex. They were each other’s first kiss and first time having sex. They're still only friends, though

In this game, James is a firefighter. He's been working for 4 days, one of which was a day off, and he's already been promoted twice. He must be really good at his job

Sirius and Remus have finally admitted that they like each other as more than friends. They went on their first date, which was a huge success, and ended it with some disappointing sex. They're not in a relationship, though. Just crushing on each other

Remus contemplating the emptiness of life while on a date:

Meanwhile, James and Lily have started dating. James wooed her with his sexy uniform and biceps

Remus and Sirius went on another date, and at the end of it, Sirius asked Remus to be his boyfriend, and Remus said yes! I did some renovating so that they and jily can have their own bedrooms with double beds. Until now, they've been sleeping in the same room in bunk beds

James is already on level 7 of the firefighting career, and he's only worked for 9 days. He was chatting with a coworker, after which he was creeped out. I'm not surprised, that coworker has seemed to have a bad attitude ever since James started that job

While I wasn't looking, James and Lily had sex for the first time. It was a disappointing experience

Lily was so spooked by Remus howling at the full moon that she walked into the next room and fainted. This is extremely funny because she had to go outside and walk across the veranda to get there (the house's floor plan is a mess because they're too poor for a proper renovation)

Nothing of much interest has happened, except James’s nicer coworker has quit her job at the fire station to become a performer, and during the full moon it turned out that she's also a zombie now. What the hell happened to her?

Sirius and Remus shared a kiss under the mistletoe. It was very cute

Sirius cried because his plants died. Then he cried about it again later. And for some reason he's wearing his formal clothes. Is it related? Only he knows

Remus likes to look out the windows. He'll wander from window to window to look out of them. He did it for hours when I didn’t stop him

Sirius is awed every time he spends time with Remus because he's excited about spending time with a werewolf. They went on another date. It was a success

[dizziedupthegirl]

. dizzie's xmen dr: rhemlyn; a playlist .

rhemlyn; a nickname, or ship name for eclipse and gambit.

rem = remy, rh & lyn = rhylyn

just like the first playlist post i made, but this time with songs that remind me of me and rem + lyrics! 🫶

ma belle evangeline. princess and the frog soundtrack; *insert trumpet solo here*

🎵

closer. better than ezra; "until he opens up his eyes and the angels all look down. even closer than this life, closer than your faith. closer than the things that you hold dearly and in vain. closer than this life, falling through again. giving more than anything that you could hope to win"

🎵

let love in. the goo goo dolls; "you smile hiding behind a God-given face. but I know you're so much more everything they ignore, is all that I need to see. you're the only one I ever believed in. the answer that could never be found. the moment you decided to let love in. now I'm banging on the door of an angel, the end of fear is where we begin the moment we decided to let love in."

🎵

cry to me. solomon burke; "when you're all alone in your lonely room and there's nothing but the smell of her perfume.a-don't you feel like a-cryin'? a-don't you feel like cryin'? a-don't you feel like a-cryin'? a-come on, come on, cry to me, whoa! nothing can be sadder than a glass of wine alone. loneliness, loneliness, such a waste of your time, oh yes you don't ever have to walk alone, you see a-come on, take my hand, and baby, won't you walk with me?"

🎵 here in my arms. leon bridges; "she says nobody wants her but left along. she said nobody needs her girl, you are. well, if you see her tell her there is room for her, in my arms, in my arms. you don't have to go, you should know, I'll be there for you, when you're alone to comfort you. oh, baby please, come where it's warm. in my arms, in my arms"

🎵

at last. etta james: "at last, my love has come along. my lonely days are over and life is like a song. oh, yeah, yeah. at last, the skies above are blue. my heart was wrapped up in clover, the night I looked at you."

🎵

my heart. paramore; "sing us a song and we'll sing it back to you. we could sing our own, but what would it be without you. this heart, it beats. beats for only you. this heart, it beats. beats for only you, oooh. this heart, it beats beats for only you, my heart is yours"

🎵

unchained melody. the righteous brothers; "woah, my love, my darling, I've hungered for your touch. a long, lonely time, and time goes by so slowly, and time can do so much. are you still mine? I need your love, I need your love. God speed your love to me. lonely rivers flow to the sea, to the sea. to the open arms of the sea, yeah. lonely rivers sigh "wait for me, wait for me" I'll be coming home, wait for me."

🎵

ain't no mountain high enough. marvin gaye & tammi terrell; "my love is alive (woo) way down in my heart, although we are miles apart. if you ever need a helping hand, i'll be there on the double just as fast as I can. don't you know that there, ain't no mountain high enough. ain't no valley low enough. ain't no river wide enough, to keep me from getting to you, babe"

hehe i love remy <3

~

asks are always open! pick from a prompt here, or here, or here! and all my drs can be found here 🥰

[mimisempai]

You're the only light in my blurry world 7/10

Chapter summary

The long-awaited first date.

Everything goes like a dream, but it seems that the evening still has a few surprises in store for them...

On Ao3

Rating G -  2027 words

Masterpost for this fic : here

"Damn it, get a grip, Aziraphale! You've tied that bow tie dozens of times!" 

Aziraphale grumbled at his reflection, whose features he couldn't make out in the mirror, as he prepared for his first date with Crowley.

Finally, the first date they hadn't had yet.

The thought of the man he would soon see again brought a smile to his lips as a warm feeling washed over him.

Crowley...

Crowley, who had been the surprise Aziraphale hadn't expected in his life.

It had been so long since he'd done this.

After James, he hadn't had the courage to try anything, not wanting to get his hopes up again and be disappointed.

He muttered again, "But Crowley is different."

He was sure of it. In just a few days, his lover - the very word made his heart beat faster - had proven to him how different he was.

Which didn't stop Aziraphale's hand from trembling slightly as he was about to walk through the door of the restaurant where they had agreed to meet.

He took a deep breath and finally pushed open the door to the restaurant. When he gave his name to the waiter who greeted him, he was told that Crowley wasn't in yet. Aziraphale was ushered to the table they had reserved. He sat down and tapped nervously on the table, looking for the front door of the restaurant.

He fought the impulse to tighten his tie one last time.

He looked around; it was a small, elegant and intimate restaurant, perfect for a first date or even a dinner between lovers. Actually, it was more like that for them, since they'd already taken a few steps in their relationship.

He thought back fondly to the day before, the interminable way they'd said goodbye on the doorstep of the bookshop when Crowley had to go to his meeting.

Suddenly, he saw the object of his thoughts push open the door and couldn't hold back the smile that came to his lips.

Aziraphale forgot all his stress and nervousness when he saw the smile on his lover's face the moment his eyes fell on him. It made Aziraphale's heart quicken in a pleasant way that owed nothing to apprehension.

Crowley approached with great strides, pulling a small white rose from behind his back, "This is for you," he smiled, handing it to Aziraphale, who took it and placed it next to his plate, deeply touched by the gesture.

He said amusedly to Crowley, "Flowers? I didn't think you were the type to..."

"Romance with flowers and chocolates? No, actually, but a street vendor was selling them on the way and they made me think of you."

He leaned over and planted a light kiss on Aziraphale's cheek before sitting down across from him and continuing in a lower voice, "Besides, I don't think you've been wooed properly, so I intend to make up for what you've missed."

Even in the dim light of the restaurant, anyone watching could see that Aziraphale was visibly moved. 

Crowley, sensing his turmoil, slid his hand across the table, inviting him to place his on top, and the moment their hands joined, he intertwined their fingers.

He never let go of Aziraphale's hand, even when the waiter came to take their order, and it was only when their plates were placed in front of them that he let go.

They continued to talk as they ate, Crowley not hesitating to touch Aziraphale's hand, and Aziraphale, comfortable with his natural behavior, not hesitating to reciprocate. He reached out to take what was offered. He was rewarded by Crowley's gentle smile as he offered him a spoonful of his own dessert.

Everything between them was effortless, the conversation, the way they looked at each other, the way they touched, as if they'd been together for a long time.

Closing his eyes, Aziraphale couldn't help but moan at the last bite of his chocolate parfait. When he opened his eyes, he saw Crowley watching him, an amused gleam in his eyes and he blushed slightly, starting to apologize, "Sorry, I..."

"No, don't be, it's a pleasure watching you eat."

Once they finished their desserts, they continued to talk over their coffee. Now that they were no longer busy eating, his hand was back in Crowley's on the table, the other man occasionally stroking the back of his hand gently with his thumb.

They didn't see the time pass until the waiter came to tell them, somewhat sheepishly, that the restaurant was closing.

As they left the restaurant, Crowley's hand took Aziraphale's again. It was the first moment of the evening since the beginning when they both looked undecided. Aziraphale wanted to make the evening last because it seemed to be coming to an end, and from the way Crowley held his hand and gave no sign of wanting to go home, it seemed that he did as well.

They walked aimlessly down the street for a while, in silence, Aziraphale absolutely delighted to be walking, holding his lover's hand.

Then, when they reached the corner, he stopped and, turning to Crowley, smiled softly and said, "Thank you for this wonderful evening, I haven't had a moment like this since... actually, I don't know."

He realized he never had.

Crowley moved closer and, placing his hands on the lapels of Aziraphale's jacket, replied softly, "Me too, I've had a really nice evening and I don't want it to end now."

Then he grabbed the lapels of Aziraphale's jacket, pulled him toward him, and pressed his lips against Aziraphale's in a slow, tender kiss.

When, after a moment, Crowley pulled away slightly without letting go of Aziraphale's jacket, he said gently, "I've wanted to do this ever since I arrived at the restaurant."

Aziraphale laughed softly and replied, "Actually, I've wanted to do that since you walked into the restaurant."

They laughed sweetly together, then Crowley's face turned serious again and he suddenly asked, "Do you want to come to my place?"

Aziraphale didn't have to think long and answered in a clear voice, "Yes."

"Then let's go."

Crowley put his arm around his lover's shoulders, and Aziraphale wrapped his around his waist, and they walked to Crowley's car.

Moments later, they were standing at the door of Crowley's apartment building, kissing again, when Crowley stepped back and laughed, "Let me open the door, my angel. It will be better inside."

"My angel?"

"Any objections?"

Aziraphale, blushing, shook his head as Crowley, laughing slightly, turned to try a third time to fit the keys into the keyhole.

"Crowley?"

They both turned back to the person who had just called.

Immediately, Aziraphale sensed a familiarity in the person's demeanor, and he knew almost immediately why when Crowley said with a puzzled look, "Mom? What are you doing here? Is everything okay? Is Sarah okay?"

Crowley's mother stepped forward and reassured him, "Yes, everything's fine. It's just that I need a little favor."

Crowley planted a kiss on his mother's cheek before the woman immediately turned to Aziraphale and said softly, holding out her hand, "Good evening..."

Aziraphale took it and replied politely, "Aziraphale. Good evening, madam."

Crowley's mother laughed softly and replied, "No, no, madam, please, call me Alice."

Crowley interjected, "Mom, let me introduce you to Aziraphale. He's my boyfriend."

While Aziraphale was elated at the introduction, Crowley's mother winked at him and replied, "I think I'd have guessed that on my own."

At the puzzled looks on both men's faces, she added, "I've been here for five minutes."

Crowley and Aziraphale both blushed, and Alice laughed, "It's nice to be young."

Then her expression turned serious again as she turned to Crowley, "Sorry to bother you, son, but I really have a little problem, Alex..."

She turned to Aziraphale and clarified, "My husband," then continued, "Alex and I are leaving early tomorrow morning on a 3-day business trip, and I was supposed to take Sarah to my sister-in-law's house tonight to watch her. But she just called me, she's got the flu and I'm left without a sitter for Sarah. Would you mind..."

Crowley interrupted her mother, putting his hand on her arm and saying gently, "Of course."

"Ah, thank you! You're an angel."

"Ah no, that's Azir..."

"Crowley!"

Crowley chuckled as his mother stomped off to a nearby parked car. A few seconds later, a little girl came running at full speed, stretching out her arms toward Crowley and shouting, "Big brother!"

Crowley scooped her up in his arms, and the little girl planted a firm kiss on his brother's cheeks before asking, shaking her head and letting her braids dance, "Is it true I'm coming to stay with you? I'm going to sleep with you? For the first time? Awesome!" Then she said in a whisper, "I'm glad Auntie is sick."

"Miss Sarah, that's not nice!"

"Mom! It's just because I'm happy to spend some time with my big brother."

Then the little girl noticed Aziraphale and asked, "Who are you?"

Aziraphale replied fondly, "Aziraphale, and you're Miss Sarah, I guess."

The little girl giggled and replied, "May I call you Azi?"

"Sarah!"

"Of course, I know my name is a bit of a mouthful."

"You see, Azi, he, he understands."

The adults were laughing softly at the little girl's mischief when suddenly Crowley said to his mother, "Though, we're going to be short, I only have a small studio and I haven't got my new bed yet, so there's only the sofa. Since you and Alex will be away and left the house empty, do you think we-"

"You can stay with me. I've got a guest room and all the space you need."

Both surprised, Crowley and his mother turned to Aziraphale who had just spoken when Sarah exclaimed, "Oh yeah, oh yeah, let's go to Azi's!"

"Wait..."

Crowley put Sarah in her mother's arms, then turned to Aziraphale, pulling him a little aside.

"Aziraphale, you don't have to do this."

The bookseller nodded and replied gently, "I don't feel obligated, I want to do it. You need a bed and I happen to have two. I mean, we're together, right?  Sort of a team of two now, so if you need help, I'm more than happy to help. Sincerely."

Crowley replied with awe in the voice, "You really are an angel, you know that?"

Aziraphale chuckled slightly and replied, "Hardly."

Crowley insisted, "You are," then planted a quick kiss on his lover's lips before they returned to Alice and her mother.

They discussed the organization some more, and Aziraphale went home first, Crowley needing some time to gather a few things.

An hour later, they had tucked the little girl into bed in the guest room and were sharing a glass of wine on the sofa downstairs in the bookshop.

Crowley took a sip and set his glass down on the coffee table before saying sheepishly, "I'm sorry, this isn't how you imagined our first date ending, is it?"

Aziraphale wrapped his arm around Crowley's shoulders and, pulling him against him, said softly, "No, but that doesn't mean I'm disappointed.

Crowley let go of his lover, humming doubtfully, and Aziraphale continued, "After all, we're here together, you're in my arms. What more could you want?"

Crowley chuckled softly, "You're really something, you know that?"

Aziraphale playfully replied, "You're not bad yourself."

Then he added more seriously, "No, it's true. You didn't hesitate before responding to your mother's request. That's generous of you. You don't give yourself enough credit. You have such a big heart, that's the man I f..."

Aziraphale stopped because this was not the time to make such a statement, not with a little girl sleeping upstairs.

The near slip of the tongue had not gone unnoticed by Crowley, however. Suddenly, he straightened up and in one swift movement was astride Aziraphale's lap, his arms wrapped around his lover's neck. He brought his lips to Aziraphale's and asked teasingly, "What were you about to say, my angel?"

Aziraphale blushed and shook his head.

Crowley murmured, bringing his lips even closer, "Come on...tell me..."

"Big brother...I can't sleep!"

_________

Still not beta'd

Still not my native language

Still hoping you'll enjoy this story  🥰

Still thanking you for bearing with me 😝

Ineffable Husbands masterlist : here 

[elliemarchetti]

Desperate Times, Desperate Measures

Prompt 16 of @jilymicrofics and @microficmay

Plot: James has to call in a favour after someone tried to steal his crown as the king of pranks

Prompts: Alibi; Squabble

Part II | Part III | Part IV | Part V | Part VI

Words: 430

James needed a strong alibi. Sure, Professor McGonagall loved and defended him even when he was in the wrong – only to scold him and his friends afterwards with speeches he had well imprinted in his head – but the littering of the entire corridor leading to the Slytherin Common Room wasn’t something she could keep silent, and besides, Professor Slughorn would surely demand actions to be taken, and who would be a better scapegoat than James, who just had a furious squabble on the Quidditch field with one of their beaters? No one was going to care that, for once, he hadn’t been the author of the tasteless, in his modest opinion, prank, and since a trip to Hogsmeade was set for the next weekend, he really didn’t want to miss it due to a punishment he had to endure on someone else’s behalf. Hence, the plan that was bringing him to the table in the library he knew Lily Evans, who still owed him for that time he took revenge on Avery for what he did to Mary MacDonald, used to study. In all honesty, he never had any intention of cashing in that debt, seeing that disgusting racist gasp for air thanks to one of his hexes had been a considerable satisfaction in itself, and knowing his actions were justified by the girl he had been pining over for years, and who had specifically asked him because he was the only one she trusted to get the job done correctly, was priceless, but desperate times required desperate measures, and if she was going to keep her word, she wouldn't even ask questions about why he was requiring her help.

Luckily the redhead he was looking for was alone, her hair a curtain of fire falling over her face as she hunched over a tome that seemed too heavy for her thin arms to lift without the aid of magic.

“What do you want, Potter?” she asked, without even taking the green eyes he dreamed of at night off the yellowed page she was reading, almost as if she had recognized his steps as he approached in the nearly desert library.

“Your assistance,” he replied, without beating around the bush too much. There was no need to sweet talk her into it, especially when it hadn’t worked to woo her in the past. “And if everything goes as it should, you will be free of any obligation towards me with just a little lie and a couple of hours in my company you can spend humiliating me in Potions. Deal?”

[cosmiccdivinityy]

Ok so who else has fandoms where like something randomly becomes the de facto headcanon and like no everyone uses it and you’re just like when did this get popular???

Like who TF is Matheo Riddle??? Did I miss something, cause I am confusion

Like in HP James/Regulus is like blowing up and I just wanna know how and why?? I have no feelings about it one way or the other cause I’m not a marauders gen girlie but like where did this come from cause it has been blowing up.

And from that same vein Evan is shipped with Barty. And Marlene is shipped with Dorcas (who’s a Slytherin) and she’s also black now (which yay more representation) but who is in charge of this?? What fanfic influenced everyone lol I need to be in the loop. Oh and Pandora Lovegood is also a Slytherin and gay now too like when??

Or in DP all the ghosts have obsessions and cores, who created this theory, cause now like every fanfic has this theory in it which again I don’t care one way or the other but like how did it become a thing???

Same with Danny being trans that’s another super popular headcanon and I’m like cool but did I miss a meeting or something cause one day it wasn’t a thing next it is.

Add on to that HP being Indian, doesn’t effect me whatsoever like the black Hermione headcanon I get came from the play but where did desi Harry come from??

Ohhh and who decided that half of the Miraculous Ladybug fanfics will be crossovers with DC. Same goes for Danny Phantom. Why are they’re always DC crossovers and why is it always Batman like please at least give me something else I beg.

The unseeing headcanon leader: I now declare this headcanon official

Everyone else: cheering, yes woo, about time

Me a month later: why is everyone suddenly shipping Draco/Hermione/Theo

Like whoever is in charge of fandom wide headcanons I’d like to be apart of the loop please 🥺 🤣😭

[itsclydebitches]

I haven’t read a whole lot of TMA fic, so I’m sure this already exists somewhere, but I really want a time travel fic where Jon goes back to Gertrude’s era.

So it’s 2007-ish, before his younger counterpart has started working at the Institute, but years into Elias and Gertrude’s tenure. They’re having a normal day serving the semi-omniscient fear god when a fucking full-fledged avatar of the Beholding - complete with a small mountain of tapes - falls through a rift in space-time and crash lands on Gertrude’s desk.

(Season 5 Jon might have decided not to kill Helen and instead used her to get here. If he ever sees her again they’re going to have A Talk™ about her choice of transportation.)

For the record, a hot mess of a man falling from the sky indoors is only like... the eighth most interesting thing to happen to Gertrude this week. Still, it’s clear he’s not entirely human - one gets a sense for these things, even without a giant eyeball’s help - and she’s got a knife on him faster than you can say “Statement.” This doesn’t seem to faze the man.

That annoys the fuck out of Gertrude.

Meanwhile, Elias has nearly passed out from the supernatural alarm bells going off in his head because the Ceaseless Watcher’s special little boy is here!!! What does that mean? Hell if he knows, but this man is ALIGHT with the Entities’ marks, just dripping with the power of the Eye, and Elias finds he has the sudden urge to drop to his knees before this stranger, something he’s only ever done post-Watcher’s Crown.

(This might be a Jonlias fic, whoops.)

Elias, seeing The Archivist for the first time: 😍😍😍😍😍

Gertrude, seeing The Archivist for the first time: 🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪

So after introductions Jon is all, “Yes, I’m an eldritch monster that’s forced to feed off the trauma of others, but I’m your eldritch monster. Please, Gertrude, I’d like nothing more than to carve out Magnus’ heart with you so he can’t destroy the whole fucking world.”

Elias, suddenly experiencing true fear for the first time in decades, feeding the Eye and being fed in turn and basically entering a feedback loop where this powerful stranger threatening to murder him is the hottest thing he’s ever Seen: !!!!! 💖💞😱!!!!!🤩😊💚!!!!!

And at first Gertrude’s like hell no, not having any more goddamn avatars in my archives thank you, but then the trio passes young intern Sasha James (shhh don’t worry if that fits the timeline) and Jon looses it. The hold that the Stranger had on him in his original timeline has broken and he’s able to recognize this as the real Sasha - her face, her voice, her very panicked looks towards her bosses as this random man sobs into her shoulder. And Gertrude’s like dammit, clearly The Archivist still has some of his humanity left. No true Fear monster would ever willingly be that embarrassing.

After prying Jon away from Sasha and promising her a raise to avoid any HR reports, they get the whole long, traumatic story out of him, but any plans to just permanently kill Elias kinda... sputter out. It’s a little bit of a Web thing, a little bit of a time travel thing, and a little bit of Jon just feeling... wrong when he considers it, no matter what he’s told Gertrude. It’s similar to when he let Annabelle live, though Elias has done absolutely fuck-all to earn his mercy. This confuses Jon, though it’s pretty far down on his list of worries.

The good news is that Jon’s mere presence puts a permanent wrench in Elias’ plans. He’s never going to repeat the ritual to open the door, obviously, and good fucking luck marking another archivist while he’s Watching. Given Jon’s suspicions that he became semi-immortal after waking from his coma, he’ll be Watching a damn long time, you megalomaniacal bastard.

The bad news is that since Elias can no longer plot an intricate manipulation, he’s decided that the next best thing is to just convince Jon to bring about the end of the world willingly.

By wooing him.

Elias: “We can be Kings of a ruined world together, Jon~”

Gertrude: “I am not paid enough for this.”

So begins the office romance comedy of Jon’s nightmares, where instead of hating him for ruining his world domination plans, Elias is smitten - in a suave, very creepy kinda way - and has decided that he’ll simply wait Jon out, wearing him down until the inevitable day when he realizes that they were meant to be. A full-fledged Archivist was dropped into his lap, ranting about how he out-foxed a future version of Elias, tormented by his own monstrosity, and people expected his narcissistic ass to not fall head over heels with his own creation?? As if.

Jon is Not Having A Good Time.

Originally when he landed here he was all, “Where is my Martin whom I love so dearly? Where is the support and companionship that I crave?” But after ‘bumping into’ him a few times outside the Institute, Jon comes to the bitter conclusion that whatever connection they had is gone. He recalls Martin’s firm belief that they never would have become a couple without all the trauma they’d been through and though this time around Jon definitely doesn’t hate him... he doesn’t love him either. Oh, he loves that he exists, seeing Martin whole and blissfully ignorant of the Fears helps heal something in Jon, but it takes him a very long time to admit that he’s too nice. Too caring. Too tentative in his insecurity. Jon grinds his teeth and admits in the privacy of his own thoughts that he was attracted to a bastard version of Martin, one who showed off a little bit of his own monstrosity, was connected to his own domain, could cut just as cruelly with his words as Jon could with his powers... Meeting with him now over coffee, inches away, Jon has never felt farther from him. This Martin simply isn’t a part of the world that created Jon.

Good, he decides and firmly steers Martin away from the Institute. Thanks to some blackmail and Peter Lukas’s money, Martin finds himself with a caretaker for his mom and the promise of a full ride through whatever creative writing program he can get into.

Meanwhile, Elias is of course stalking and spying on Jon whenever he can, doing the metaphorical equivalent of doodling hearts in his notebook whenever he catches a glimpse of why Jon no longer connects with Martin. He’s a bastard avatar with shitty morals and, frankly, far better taste in poetry. Open your third eyes, Jon!!

Gertrude, who avoided sacrificing Michael after a stern talking to from Jon: “You sure you don’t want the Spiral to eat you, kid? Anything’s better than watching this clusterfuck.”

Michael: 🙃🙃🙃

After a while the Institute settles into a new kind of normal. Jon, Gertrude, and Michael defend the archives from the slew of enemies they’ve both amassed, stopping the occasional ritual in their free time. Jon has long come to the conclusion that the Fears couldn’t have originated here - not with the Eye being unable to see its own creation - so starving them in this reality at the expense of their world wouldn’t serve the greater good. The best they can do is continually contain them - which they’ve gotten real good at. Elias continues to bother Jon with a fervor that’s almost admirable (he can see how this guy managed plans for upwards of 200 years) and waffles between playing the Mysterious Boss archetype that he’d used on Jon the first time around, and just giving in to the utter adoration he feels whenever Jon is in the room. It’s clear he’s long since started worshiping Jon rather than the Eye and the Eye is... totally fine with that?

Gertrude: “How did you get the Ceaseless Watcher to treat you like a favored child?”

Jon: Trauma?? 🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️

After seeing how much happier Martin is, Jon guides the rest of his former assistants away from the Institute, Sasha included. It helps, a little, but it also makes him even more isolated than he was the first time around.

Gertrude realizes this, so when Elias’ flirting - “I’ve found a fresh statement for you, Jon. Oh do stop glaring, it’s just a bit of chloroform. She’ll wake up soon. You can’t be satisfied with stale writings for forever” - starts inducing more fond annoyance than fear or horror, she becomes #Concerned.

Gertrude: “You realize that desensitizing you to his actions was the point all along, right?”

Jon: “Mmhm. But is it still manipulation if I know it’s manipulation?”

Gertrude: “You cannot possibly be considering this.”

Jon: “Would it help if I admitted that dating Elias wouldn’t be the worst decision I’ve ever made?”

Gertrude: “NO.”

The thing is, Jon liked Elias before he revealed himself to be an immortal body-snatcher hell-bent on creating... well, hell on Earth. He liked the soft academic exterior, his careful words, love of organization and attention to detail, the dry humor, cutting intellect, those suits that likely cost more than three months of his salary combined... In fact, Jon is now in a place to vividly remember the embarrassment he felt while interviewing for the archivist’s position, too busy avoiding looking at Elias’ lips to catch the hungry glint in his eye.

Of course, that Elias only exists as a veneer... though what was Jon’s “I’m just a normal man going grocery shopping, please ignore my scars and aborted grab as I resist demanding a statement from you” if not a veneer of its own? Where did their ‘real’ selves begin and their conscious choices end? The most awful thing about all this is that Elias is right. Oh, not about them being Kings of a ruined world, but about how no one but another avatar can truly understand an avatar. By this point Jon is years past his coma, fully at peace - or at least, as at peace as he’ll ever get - with the fact that he chose to live as a monster rather than die as a human. That means Knowing things at his leisure... though he tries not to catch anything private. It means Compelling others to provide him with more knowledge... though he’s careful with his questions around friends. It means Feeding off of others’ worst moments in life... though Jon restricts himself to statements that Gertrude has collected first, so that he never haunts anyone’s dreams. And it means spending the majority of his time with other monsters and monster-aligned allies... though Jon plants his feet firmly in his human morals and refuses to budge.

If he can navigate all that, why not this too?

Elias has said more than once that he would make Jon the worst version of himself - said with such glee and promise as to almost, almost sound like something Jon wants. Jon figures that the worst version of Elias, from his perspective, would be to look a bit more human.

“We can bring out the worst in each other,” he agrees one day, followed by a shark-like grin.

Elias hasn’t the faintest idea what he’s just gotten himself into.

And that feels wonderful. Manipulating him into being a marginally better person who doesn’t bring about the apocalypse might actually be more satisfying than stabbing him. The Elias of Jon's original timeline would have HATED this and that makes Jon do a happy little wiggle whenever he thinks about it.

Gertrude: “You’re leashing a fucking dragon, Sims.”

Jon: “Better than letting it roam free.”

Gertrude: “Just so long as he doesn’t chew through the reins.”

Jon: “Yeah well, I’ll be the first one burned if that happens” and he holds up his charred hand with a shrug.

So begins the most messed up courting ritual the world has ever seen. Do they work as a couple? Oddly enough, yes. Amazingly well, in fact. Is it a healthy relationship? LOL yeah right. But then that’s rather the point. Jon gave up on that the day he acknowledged that, yes, a part of him liked being the most powerful being roaming a hellish landscape - liked not being vulnerable for once. Back when he’d first joined the Institute, post-breakup with Georgie, Jon couldn’t even imagine someone liking him enough to grab a drink after work. He’s past pretending that having the cult-like devotion of a lover, the favor of a Fear god, and the grudging respect of everything else that goes bump in the night isn’t really fucking nice.

Sometimes Elias plays the part of a compassionate human for Jon, as a treat. Sometimes Jon let’s Elias bask in another’s terror, as a treat. Sometimes Jon is Jonathan Sims and sometimes he’s The Archivist. “Let’s rule a burned-out world together” becomes a staple request in their relationship, with Jon always giving Elias the equivalent of a pat on the head and a, “Sure, honey. Maybe next week.” They find something like balance that way.

Plus there’s Gertrude, perpetually in the shadows with an arsenal of weaponry and the promise to obliterate them both if they ever go too far. She reminds Jon of his grandmother when she threatens to fuck them up in the afterlife if they ever make her kill them.

Something, something, dysfunctional eldritch found families are beautiful?

Jon and Elias have achieved something akin to an uncanny, domestic bliss when Elias points out that this body won’t last forever...

Jon Does Not Like the idea of Elias kidnapping another innocent.

However...

Jon: “You know Jurgen Leitner is living in the Institute’s tunnels, right?”

And they lived ever after. The “happily” is highly subjective.

Bonus:

Post-apocalypse!Jon meeting with Original!Jon to warn him away from the Institute, painfully thin ever since his coma, hip-length hair streaked unnaturally white, a slew of scars covering every available bit of skin, the slightest green glow behind his eyes, somehow looking supremely confident and powerful while also embodying the most Awkward Academic you’ve ever seen: Hey.

Og!Jon: G-good lord!

Jon: It’s okay. You can say ‘fuck.’ Please say ‘fuck,’ Jon. We deserve it.