#james cheek is hilarious

[xielianlover2]

"Xie Lian, you WOUND me, you think I would go to a brothel."

- Hua Cheng (Heaven Official's Blessing s2 Dubbed)

[luveline]

bEGGING for something with the marauders with drunk reader at a halloween party!!! make it literally anything you want follow ur heart ily and ur writing is AMAZING!!!!

thank you, ily ♡ modern au, fem

The rugby uniform felt like a funny idea at the time, but now you're cold and wondering how James manages to stay warm when he plays. You must ask him. 

He sits on the couch with Remus and another friend, Frank. You like Frank but he's not one of your boys, leaving you no options —you have to slide yourself between Remus and James, emphasis on have to. Remus touches your waist unthinkingly as you do, like he might catch you if you fell. 

James is ecstatic to see you as always. "Where have you been? I was about to send out the search party." 

He's been very, very pleased with you upon the reveal of your costume. Like, pleased enough to take a handful of your thigh and squeeze at the soft inner part greedily. You lean back into Remus, enjoying the feeling and wanting his comfort. He's used to it, and  he adapts by pressing his face indulgently to the side of your head. 

You giggle. This is usually a nice feeling, but drunk? You're euphoric. 

"You can't stray too far, lovely, I need my victim," Remus says. 

"Where have your fangs gone?" you ask, pointing at your neck. "I made the bite mark so perfect. Everyone will think I have rabies if you don't commit." 

James laughs like you're hilarious. Later, you'll find out that you didn't quite say every word that you thought you said, and that you'd been slurring your words into one another to create Frankenstein's sentences. 

"Everybody already thinks you have rabies," James says. He's wearing a chef's costume from a show he likes, a white shirt that's sleeves strain against his biceps and a blue apron. Sirius spent an hour drawing tattoos into his brown skin with a sharpie. "That's why we've decided to put you down." 

"I'll have one last night of passion with her first, if you don't mind," Sirius says, announcing his presence. 

You like the sound of that, lifting yourself away from the other two boys and their touches to take Sirius' fine hands. He's in a button up and tie, the sticker on his chest proudly proclaiming, Hello, my name is: Dave.

"You're here to kiss me, right?" you ask.

Sirius grins and presses a quick kiss to the corner of your mouth. "My little alcoholic, you smell like lambrini. What did we say about lambrini?" 

"Uh, that it makes me sloppy drunk." 

"Exactly!" He kisses your cheek, working an arm around your shoulder as though showing you off with pride to the other boys. "My darling, you're so smart." 

"Not that smart, she still drank the lambrini." 

"Remus, don't start," Sirius admonishes. "You just hate that she chooses me when she's drunk." 

"You're her enabler," James says, "of course she does. But before she was drunk she chose to dress as me for Halloween, so if anyone is the favourite–" 

"Oh, please don't start," Remus says. 

The boys start, arguing over who your favourite is. It's a silly pass time with no real merit but no malice, either, and you're just drunk enough to goad them on. "Maybe Remus should be my favourite. After all, he's my vampire. Our love is, like, eternal." 

The furrowed brow he gets whenever the other two boys debate slips. "It's so eternal," he says, nodding confidently. "Quite right, dove." 

"Eternal doesn't mean better." 

"Then what does it mean, Sirius?" 

You decide that James' lap looks comfortable and that you might be here for a long time, so you push his legs down flat and sit carefully (not very carefully in reality, but in your heart) on his thighs, socked feet pulled up onto the couch, sideways and skewiff in his company. 

"Well, obvious winner," James says, encompassing your back with a big arm, pulling you into him. Under his hand your shoulders feel like a more delicate system; you aren't necessarily small, but his touch feels so everywhere, a pervasive feeling of safety and comfort in the palm of his hand where it grasps you. 

"You have the more comfortable seat," Sirius says nonchalantly. "It means nothing." 

Remus pulls one of your socks up where it's slipping down your calf and Sirius interrupts the arguing to ask if you need a glass of water. You don't have favourites. They're each incredibly lovely in their own way. 

[moonstruckme]

Dizzy

summary: when your roommate James comes home after a night out with his friends, he's acting even more affectionate than usual

cw: alcohol

modern au

roommate!James x fem!reader ♡ 2.7k words

You can always hear when James’ friends come over. The door opens and the sound of them comes pouring through into your flat, the boys always in the middle of bickering or joking or telling some incredibly animated story. 

When you hear their noise late on a Friday night, you pause the movie on your laptop and head for the door, drawn towards their loudness. James’ friends are rowdier than anyone you hang out with, but it’s a happy sort of ruckus. They’re fun and hilarious and surprisingly kind, and you enjoy chatting when they come over. 

“Hi, gorgeous,” Sirius sing-songs, spotting you as soon as you emerge from your room. You laugh at his scratchy, worn-out voice. He sounds like he’s probably been singing at the top of his lungs all night. Dark eyeliner has transferred to the skin under his eyes, but Sirius is the only person you know with his particular ability to make dishevelment look rock-and-roll instead of slobbish. 

“Hi,” you say back, grinning at him. Your eyes search behind him to find Remus, just coming through the doorway. As always, he looks completely different from his other half; whereas Sirius has unmistakably just gotten home from a night out, Remus could just as easily have been at the library in his jeans and t-shirt, except for the faint black smudge where Sirius’ eyeliner has seemingly rubbed off on his cheek. Then you catch sight of James, drooping like an overwatered flower with his arm slung around Remus’ shoulder. “Is he okay?”

“Yeah, he’ll be alright,” Remus grunts, heaving your roommate through the entryway. He tries to send you a smile of greeting, but it’s more of a well-meaning grimace. “He just needs to drink some water.” 

“I won,” Sirius says giddily, stumbling over and grabbing your arm. “I outdrank James Potter.” 

There’s a nervous edge to the laugh that bubbles out of your throat. “That’s great, Sirius, congratulations.” You cast an alarmed look towards Remus. “You all had a competition?”

Remus shakes his head. “They had a competition.”

“I won,” James says suddenly, picking his head up as if revived from a deep sleep. “Don’t listen to him, Y/N, I’m the winner.”

Sirius makes a derisive sound. “You can’t even walk, Potter.” 

“I can,” James defends himself, and slips his arm from around Remus’ shoulder. Both you and Remus put your hands out cautiously like when a toddler takes its first steps, but James totters safely to the couch, leaning against it like he’s just finished a marathon and directing a smug smile towards Sirius. “Suck it, Pads.” 

Sirius’ lips curl impishly. His unsteady gaze settles on Remus, still hovering by the door. “Gotta get home to do that.” 

“Alright,” Remus says quickly, stepping forward to take his boyfriend by the shoulders and steering him towards the door. “We’re gonna go home and get to bed—to sleep.” He’s blushing something fierce, and you do your absolute best not to smile. “Prongs.” James looks up from where he’s been toying with the fabric of your couch throw. “Drink some water, and then go to sleep, yeah?” Remus raises his brows, waiting for confirmation, and James presses a solemn hand to his heart. 

“Your wish is my command, Moony-boy.” 

Remus rolls his eyes but turns to go, sending you a quick goodnight with an apology embedded in his voice before he shuts the door behind him. You lock it, and turn back around to find James performing a lazy somersault over the back of the couch and onto the cushions. 

“James,” you laugh, and he smiles up at you like he doesn’t know what’s so funny but is happy to be a part of it anyway, “do you want to come into the kitchen to have some water?”

James turns pensive. “Is that where you’re going?”

“Mhm.” 

“Then sure.” He hops up a bit too fast, and has to put his arms out in front of him to regain his balance. 

You take his forearm in your hand, knowing you won’t be able to support his weight if he really falls but hoping you can at least slow his descent, and begin walking him toward the kitchen. “Are you feeling dizzy?” you ask him.

James hums. “A bit. But in a good way, you know?”

You don’t, but you nod anyway. “Well,” you say with certainty you can’t feel, “that’s good. Chill here for a second, okay?” You prop him up against the counter, and James melts against it instantly in that easy way he has, leaning back on his elbows and crossing his ankles in front of him. The edge of the counter has to be digging into his back, but James makes it look like the most comfortable spot in the flat. 

You start to grab a glass from the cabinet but then think the better of it, opting for a less destructible plastic cup. You fill it with icy water from the tap. 

“Alright.” You pass it to him. “Don’t drink it too fast.” 

James takes the cup with a smile that’s really much sweeter than your tiny gesture warrants. Then he proceeds to slide the rest of the way down the counter, until he’s sitting with his legs spread out in front of him on the floor. After a moment, you decide to join him, crossing your legs under you and letting your back rest beside his. The floor just seems like the place to be right now. 

For the first time since you’ve known him, James seems content to sit in silence, sipping at his water. Neither of you are looking at each other, or really anywhere in particular. It’s definitely a Friday night, more of the noise of voices and traffic making their way up to your flat than you hear on most days of the week, but your home itself is quiet. The light in the kitchen is dim, coming in from the lamp you’ve left on in the living room, and your body relaxes instinctively in the peaceful dark. 

James has nearly emptied the cup when he says, “Hey,” as if he’s just remembered something important.

You look at him. “What?”

“There’s no ice in here.”

You raise your eyebrows. “Did you want ice? I can put some in, I just thought you preferred drinks without ice.” 

Even in the dim light, you can make out enough of James’ eyes to see the brown in them go absolutely molten. He turns toward you more fully, his shoulder and cheek squished up against the cabinets. “Aww, you knew.”

You laugh at him, his smushed cheek pushing his glasses up on his face and his bottom lip jutting out slightly. The effect is that he looks both worryingly drunk and decidedly endearing. “Of course I know,” you say. “We’re roommates. I’m bound to pick up on things.” 

Your words do nothing to curb James’ adoration. “Still, you noticed,” he says, maudlin. “Thanks, sweetheart.” 

Sweetheart. The word resounds in your head like the happy chime of a bell. James is always calling you that, but usually it seems thrown away, a light little endearment he tacks onto his addresses without thinking. This feels different. It lingers on his tongue like caramel, soft and sticky sweet. Sweetheart. 

“Of course,” you say again, and you’re grateful for the poor lighting that’s hiding your blush. “Ready to go to bed?”

James looks at you like you’ve asked him to solve a calculus equation, thick brows knitting together. Maybe it’s the endearment still ringing in your head, but you really want to smooth the crease from between them with your thumb. You don’t. 

“I dunno,” he says after a moment. “Are you tired?”

“A little,” you admit. “Aren’t you?”

He shrugs. “I could be.” And then he’s hauling himself up, an overly complicated process that involves getting his feet underneath him while he’s already using the counter to pull himself off the floor. You have to bite back a smile as you watch, and when he’s done James extends a hand to you. As if you’re the one who needs help. 

You take it but don’t actually put any of your weight on him as you stand, grabbing his empty cup from the counter. James’ hand is big, engulfing yours easily, and the condensation from the cool water still lingers on his palm. He doesn’t let go as you start towards his bedroom. You tell yourself it’d be mean to pull away on your own. 

“Oh!” he exclaims, once again like he’s discovered something fascinating. “I haven’t even asked—how’s your night been?”

You laugh again. You can never seem to stop laughing around James. “It’s been good, thanks. Not as eventful as yours, I take it.” 

James hums in unhappy affirmation. “Lucky you.”

“Well, seems like you got the true night-out experience.” You bring him to sit on his bed, bending to untie his shoes for him and setting them by the door. “Do you wanna sleep in that or change into pajamas?” you ask, fighting the urge to tack on the honey that pushes at your lips. 

There’s no deliberation there. “Pajama pants, at least. I can’t wear jeans in bed, m’not a monster.”

You smile to yourself, locating a pair of pajama pants on the floor and holding them up for him to see. “These okay?”

“Yeah, thanks.” 

You toss them to him. James starts to strip, and you turn around quickly, going into the bathroom. “So, aside from the drinking contest, did you have a good time tonight?”

“Yeah,” he says lightly. You fill the cup with water from James’ sink and find a bottle of ibuprofen in the drawer underneath. “It wasn’t bad. Remus is so busy lately, it’s good to get to see him at all, and beating Sirius is always fun.” He gives a little laugh. “He’s such a sore loser.” 

“He seemed to think he’d won,” you say, your tone teasingly dubious. 

A harrumph. “If Remus doesn’t set him straight on that, I’ll do it tomorrow.”

You chuckle.

“You’ll tell ‘em, won’t you?”

“For sure. Do you have your pants on yet?”

“Oh. Yeah.” You go back into the bedroom to find James comfy under the covers, smiling sheepishly. “I didn’t know you were waiting for me to tell you, sorry.” 

“No worries.” You smile. He looks so sweet like this, curls splayed out around his head on the pillow the way a kid draws rays around the sun. You set the cup and pill bottle on his nightstand, using your proximity to study his face. His pupils are huge and unfocussed, and the smile he’s aiming at you is a bit too dopey for your liking. “You said you were dizzy…do you think you’re going to be sick?”

“No.” James starts to push himself up as if to make his point, then decides against it, resting his head against the edge of the mattress with a tiny grimace. “Maybe.” 

“That’s okay,” you reassure him, grabbing a wastebasket from under his desk. “Here, I’m going to put this by the bed just in case, okay? And you’ve got water and ibuprofen on the nightstand.” 

James doesn’t respond. He’s looking at you dazedly. 

“James.” You tap his cheek lightly. “Do you understand? You need to use the wastebasket if you feel sick.”

His hand emerges from beneath the covers, fingers braceleting your wrist. “Stay with me,” he mumbles. You’re glad he’s definitely too out of it to feel the quick bumping of your pulse beneath his fingers. When you hesitate a second too long, James tightens his grip beseechingly. “Please, sweetheart?” 

There it is again. Your brain buzzes in response. 

“Alright,” you whisper, brushing a soothing touch against the inside of his forearm, and James releases you. “I was watching a movie before you got home. Want to finish it?”

He agrees, and you go across the hall, retrieving your laptop. You climb over him on the bed, pretending not to feel the brush of a big hand across your hip as though meant to steady you. You settle your laptop between the two of you and press play on the movie.

James leans over, resting his head on your shoulder. “You’re always watching this,” he murmurs. “You don’t get tired of it?”

“Not really,” you reply. “It’s my favorite. But if you are, I can change it.”

He makes a humming sound, and you feel the vibrations in your shoulder. “No, s’alright. Bet you can quote half the film, though, can’t you?” 

You grin. “I’m scared,” you say, in time with the actress on your screen. “I don’t wanna get hurt.” You can feel James smiling, his cheek smushing against your shoulder. You lower your voice into a gruff mockery of the male actor’s intonation. “I’m not gonna hurt you.”

James makes a soft sound of amusement. “Cute,” he murmurs, more to himself than to you. 

You fall into an easy silence, blue light cast over your features as the familiar scenes play out quietly on your laptop. You keep sneaking glances at James, thinking he’s either about to fall asleep or be sick, but he’s watching the movie contentedly, head a solid but welcome weight on your shoulder. He’s evidently decided to discard the shirt he’d worn to the bar, and the skin of his bare shoulder is warm where it presses against your arm. He adjusts his head a little, and his curls tickle the underside of your jaw. You don’t know how he gets them so soft. Not through any strict regimen or product, apparently. One good thing about having a guy for a roommate is that he’s never the one who runs out the hot water; he’s in and out of the shower in ten minutes every time. And yet, if you look closely enough, you can usually find at least two or three perfect coils in his hair. Genetics, you suppose. James was blessed with a good lot of them. 

The movie’s not half done before you’re yawning, your eyelids feeling like someone’s sewn fishing weights into them. You try not to shift, but your shoulders rise with the involuntary inhale, and James looks up at you. You yawn again, covering your mouth with one hand as a tear forms in the corner of your eye, squished out when you blink. You wipe it away. 

“Wait,” James says. You go still, looking over at him curiously as he adjusts against the headboard of his bed, pushing himself further upright. He tilts his head. The back of his index finger brushes gently under your lashes. “You always get teary at night,” he says softly. 

You know you should get out from under his touch, but you can’t make yourself. “I tear up a lot when I yawn.” 

Just thinking about it has you yawning again, and James takes your face in his hand, catching the tear that falls from one eye. 

“Don’t cry,” he begs you. “If you cry, I’ll cry.” 

You take his wrist in your hand, giving him a small smile. “I’m not crying, James. I’m just tired.” 

“Okay,” he murmurs, pressing a kiss, feather-light, just next to your eye. You freeze, but he doesn’t seem to notice. “Okay, m’sorry. You’re tired? Wanna go to sleep?”

You have to clear your throat to make sure your voice comes out right. “Sure.” It’s still a bit hoarse. “Wake me if you need anything, okay?”

James takes your hand, a willing captive between two of his as he draws it into his lap. He settles his head back onto your shoulder. “Okay. You’re too nice to me.” 

“I’m not,” you say, before you can think the better of it. “You’re the nice one.” 

James only hums.

You swallow. “Goodnight.” 

You’re waiting for a response, the movie on your laptop just now getting to the scene where the love interests give in and confess their feelings for each other, when you feel a wet spot forming near the collar of your shirt. Slowly, careful not to jostle him, you tilt your head to look down at the source of the drool puddle. 

James already asleep.

[boneblushed]

Is it chill that you’re in my head?

synopsis your best friend James isn’t sure why he’s so angry about the fact that you’re going on a date with someone else.

wc 2.6K

“He’s looking over here,” James sings under his breath, his brown eyes full of mirth. He’s balancing on the spindly hind-legs of his library chair, the Potions essay he’s supposed to be doing laid out in disarray.

You send him a reproachful look. “You’re being malicious.” When you turn back around to face Davey Gudgeon’s table, there’s a split second of eye contact before he ducks his head down abashedly, his cheeks a brilliant rouge.

He has a crush on you, apparently. Sirius and Remus had overhead him talking about it on his way down to breakfast this morning—about how prefects rarely escaped unscathed after sharing something as intimate as a Saturday night duty.

James Potter, your best friend and a royal pain in your ass, finds this revelation abso-fucking-lutely hilarious for some reason. Asshole.

“Au contraire,” he murmurs, the grin on his face audible, “I’m being a world class wingman.”

The look on his face is downright dangerous. He waggles his eyebrows at you suggestively, unperturbed by the frown on your own, a warning. Easing forward until each hind-leg finds the ground with a resounding thud, he cups his hands around his mouth, whisper-shouting, “Oi! Gudgeon!”

Davey Gudgeon reddens further, a feat you didn’t think was possible until now. He glances over at James dismally, a furtive expression on his face. “What?” He mouthes, sending you this weak half-smile. It’s sort of sweet, almost contagious. You find yourself smiling back at him on instinct.

“Come over here, you bludger,” James chastises, like that’s the obvious next step. To be fair, it probably is to him — he’s never shied away from flirting with the girls he fancies, a self-proclaimed dating aficionado with way too much chat for his own good.

Davey hesitates, his nervous gaze flitting to you momentarily. He looks as though he wants to do just that, but isn’t sure whether his crush on you is reciprocated. Sweet.

He has gentle eyes, too, pretty juniper with bright specks of burnt ochre. A nice head of brown hair. If it was cold outside, you bet he’d offer you his Quidditch jersey without hesitation.

You think you need sweet, all things considered. You’ve known James Potter all of seven years now, had a wretched crush on him all of five, and never once has he indicated that his aforementioned expertise could ever extend to you.

It’s high-time that you gave your pathetic heart a rest.

“You’re making him miserable,” you mutter, ever-reproachful.

Davey hasn’t moved yet, though you’re sure he wants to, his hands braced on the table in front of him apprehensively. He keeps looking between you and James, surveying his options; in order ease his anguish, you decide you’d better make the decision for him.

You push your chair back and stand up, it’s spindly legs scraping against the vinyl floor forebodingly. James looks up in surprise. “Where r’you going?”

“To Gudgeon’s table.”

“Why?” James urges, perplexed. He half-stands too, his features a smidge less mirthful than before.

“So you’ll stop,” you reply, frowning down at him.

He raises his arms in surrender. “I’m stopping.” A pause. In the beat that passes, his assessing gaze falls over you in paces. “You’re not… you’re not keen on him too, are you?”

You think on this, cocking your head to one side. “I don’t know. Maybe? He’s kinda sweet.”

“But he doesn’t even have the balls to come over here and ask you out properly,” James whisper-shouts, mildly exasperated.

You’ve never once called him sweet.

He’s had this tragic crush on you for all of seven years, and never once has he been on the receiving end of such a fond adjective. He’d only made a fuss over this Davey situation because he was sure it was just a jibe — no way someone like you would be interested in a guy like Gudgeon, no way you would even entertain the possibility of more than friends.

Right?

James wants that more than friends thing with you, bad. This morning, when Sirius’d brought up Bludgeon’s crush on you—sniggering violently—he’d snuck a glance at your features to ensure that it wasn’t reciprocated. He’s sure he’d caught a bit of second-hand embarrassment, though maybe it was actually just tender hearted diffidence. Maybe Davey fucking Gudgeon had something that he somehow didn’t.

Right now, James’d give up his head boy badge and Quidditch captaincy to acquire that something. His chest hurts terribly. He runs his sloven fingers through his unkempt hair, sending you another look of bewilderment.

“Because you’re here,” you reprove. “Course he’s not going to come over when the James Potter is taking the mickey out of him.”

You say his name like it’s an insult. James’ heart plummets. “I’m not — he’s welcome to come over,” he argues quietly, chagrined. “Besides, he’s going to have to get used to me if he wants to be your boyfriend.”

“Why?” You frown. “I always bugger off when you’re with another girl.”

“That’s different,” James insists, frowning in tandem.

“How’s that different?”

They aren’t you, James thinks vaguely. His poor heart blunders for the umpteenth time this afternoon. “None of them are girlfriends.”

“Not for lack of trying,” you mutter. James swears he hears a hint of spite in your tone. “Doesn’t matter, anyway. M’going over.”

James slumps back into his seat reluctantly. He knows that you’re right, begrudging as that revelation may be — he is always flirting with one girl or another, though that’s more so to pass time than anything particularly serious. Never you. You’d see right through him, anyway. Besides, the last time he tried, it’d been so disastrous you’d assumed he was joking.

It’d been at that Halloween party they’d had in the Gryffindor Common Room last year, firewhiskey flowing and sweet treats piled atop every surface.

You were wearing this gorgeous, albeit bemusing, costume of a Muggle someone — Wonder Woman, or something, James didn’t quite understand it. Showing a lot of skin. Your pretty eyes were accented by rouge glitter, lips all glossy, and your exposed limbs and bare waist had eased his heart right into his throat.

And James Potter didn’t often find himself lost for words, but it appeared as though this party was one of those exceptions.

“Woah,” he’d murmured, wolf-whistling lowly. He was in this ridiculous, Babbity Rabbity costume (courtesy of Sirius, who was a cackling pot), feeling entirely out of place when you looked so beautiful. “Christ, Y/N, who’re you meant to be? The hottest muggleborn at Hogwarts or something?”

You’d rolled your eyes then, because no way he was serious. “Don’t tease, James. Did you guys manage to snag any cauldron cakes?”

He’d been too busy to insist his sincerity, fond gaze travelling down your bare limbs, slow. Lingering on the wafer of exposed waist between your corset and skirt. He’s still agonised by the want to touch your soft skin; that wretched Hogwarts shirt tuck has prevented this from happening.

“By the fire,” he’d answered after a beat, dazed.

And when you’d fallen out of earshot, James’ eyes still trained on your figure, Sirius and Remus’d come up behind him, the latter wearing Muggle-manufactured fangs. (Supposedly, he was meant to be a vampire.)

“You’ve got a tragic affliction, James,” Sirius’d tutted under his breath, faux-apologetic. “How’re you somehow able to flirt with every girl in this room except the one that matters?”

“Shut up,” he’d muttered back at the time, though as he thinks back on it now, he realises that Sirius was right.

For some reason, with you, he always manages to say exactly the wrong thing. He watches Davey scramble to straighten as you near his library table, the heat on his neck rising until his entire face is in a flush. And you’re smiling as you sit down beside him, this sweet, unabashed smile that looks too much like feelings reciprocated. Something in James’ ribcage cracks, an ugly emotion springing forth from within it. But he’s immobile, hands on the table and furrow in his brow, agonised by the fact that you’re looking at Davy all fond, not him.

Never him. You ask a question—James is trying his best to lip-read, but it’s difficult not to get carried away staring at your mouth. Davey nods, and then reddens some more. Then you stand up, feelings-reciprocated smile on your face as you walk back over to the table you’re sharing with James.

“He looks pleased,” James mutters grumpily.

You frown. “You don’t.”

“You’re doing charity work,” he answers, ignoring the insinuation. “You know that, right?”

“James,” you sigh, “you’re being unkind.”

“Because he’s punching.” But James knows this is unfair. He’s pretty sure every bloke in Hogwarts would be, if it was you and them.

—

“James,” Sirius calls, bemused. “You coming mate?”

Its autumn in Hogsmeade, and they’ve reached a cross roads.

The path to the left of them leads to the Hog’s Head Inn, one of their favourite haunts in the village due to its relative unpopularity. To the right, where James is glancing furtively, the cobblestone pavement takes them toward the Three Broomsticks. Where you are. With Davey.

Remus shares a knowing look with Sirius. “Think he’s in the mood for one of Rosmerta’s butter-beers, actually.”

James groans, scrubbing his calloused palm down his face slovenly. He knows exactly what he’s insinuating; Remus always has been the most astute of the lot. “Don’t bloody start.”

Sirius grins then, reaching for James and throwing an arm around his neck. “Reckon you’re going to need something stronger than butter-beer if you’re planning on watching Gudgeon snog your girl.”

His heart plummets. There’s that ugly emotion again, rearing its contemptuous head at him. “Wormtail’s there too,” he tries, shoving Sirius off. “We should go say hi.”

“Oh yes,” Sirius allows, his brown eyes full of mischief. “The one Marauder with a girlfriend. You after some tips, mate?”

“Cut him some slack, Sirius,” Remus chastises, though there isn’t much fire to his tone as he says it. “Reckon he’s miserable enough about the fact that the one time he fancies a girl she isn’t interested.”

James frowns, sending the pair of them a look of determination. “Look, shove off, both of you.” The crease between his eyebrows deepens further, keenly resolute. “I just want to check on her, alright? Make sure that bludger isn’t pulling anything funny.”

“Right.” Sirius nods soberly. “Or snogging her to death.”

“Fuck,” James groans again, his insides squirming. “You’ve gotta stop putting that image in my head.”

He turns toward the path to his right, the cobblestones plush with Autumn leaves, when he spots your figure in the distance and freezes. Coming closer. You look beautiful in this matter-of-fact, effortless way that makes James’ heart stutter; your pretty eyes are alight with mirth as you catch his gaze, this fond smile on your lips that makes him want to kiss you. Bad. He swallows thickly, his chest a pathetic mess.

Sirius and Remus must spot you too, because the pair of them beginning walking backward toward the Hog’s head, their eyebrows raised in tandem.

“She isn’t with the bludger, Prongs,” calls Sirius, a knowing lilt to his tone. “Now’s your chance.”

“My chance?” James asks, distracted.

“To snog her, you idiot.”

But James doesn’t hear him. Partly because the wind’s picked up, mostly because it’s difficult for him to concentrate on anything but your growing closeness.

Once you’re within earshot—more of you to agonise over, exposed waifs of skin like a siren song—he stumbles forward clumsily.

“Y/N,” James breathes out, pleasantly surprised. “Where’s Davey?”

You grimace, looking over your shoulder furtively. “I’ve just escaped him.”

James’ stomach deflates, relief washing over him in waves. He raises his eyebrows playfully. “Escaped?”

“Don’t,” you warn, frowning sternly. “He… he’s alright, really. Just doesn’t really know how to hold a conversation.” You grimace again. “Or take a hint. Like, at all.”

“Yeah? Why’d you say that?”

“Well,” you begin, and then you shiver, moving closer to James without meaning to. “Christ, Potter, you’re a really good wind shield, y’know that?”

“At your service,” he murmurs, inching forward too. “You were saying?”

You gaze up at him, the rough planes of his face ever present, and you’re struck by the revelation that he doesn’t need an old Quidditch jersey to keep you warm. He’s a furnace of body heat and cedar-wood cologne.

“Well,” you continue, voice low, “after two butter beers and absolutely zero chat, I’d sort of assumed that he’d have realised that this just isn’t going to work.”

“But…?”

“But,” you grimace, “he asked me out again.”

The way your features twist as you say it, as though that’s the last thing you want to do, wrings any residual jealousy he may be feeling right out of his stomach. He’s struck by this suddenly, overwhelming urge to caress your jaw and pull you closer.

“And let me guess,” James murmurs, grinning fondly. “You said yes.”

“I said I’ll see.”

“I worry all this charity work’s going to be the death of you, Y/N.”

You crinkle your nose up at him, punching his chest playfully. “Don’t you start James Potter.”

James raises his arms in surrender, still grinning. His gaze lifts above your head to take in the footpath behind you, and he finds himself looking right at the burly figure of Davey Gudgeon trudging toward the pair of you.

“Bloody hell,” he mutters, raising his eyebrows. “You weren’t kidding about him not being able to take a hint, huh?”

You furrow your brow, looking over your shoulder bemusedly. When your head whips back around to face him, your eyes are wide and a little tortured, dappled by the warm, orange hues of Autumn. A damsel, James’ thinks, dazed, as if that’s a normal thought for a eighteen-year-old bloke to have. He’s already spiralling over kissing you and it’s been all of five minutes.

“Is he looking over here?” You ask, your voice low.

James’ eyes dart back to Davey. “Uh, yeah?”

“Good.”

You wrap your arms around his neck hurriedly, leaning forward and pressing your lips against his. James takes a second to recalibrate, his poor heart a mess, but when he does, he’s quick to circle your waist and pull you closer, his strong arms firm and torso warm on your figure. It’s a deft kiss, chaste as it is agonising, though kiss enough for him to memorise the feeling. The buttery taste of your lips, the perfect way they appear to mould against his.

It’s a tandem emotion — you’ve revelling in this kiss far more than you should, the arduous pressure of James’ lips on your own. He’s going to leave a mark. He tastes like sugar quills and feels like the death of you, his sloven hands pressing into the bare skin of your waist.

When you do finally pull away, your cheeks are warm and you’re a little breathless. “S’he still there?”

A beat passes. James doesn’t look up.

You mistake his pause for unease, and grimace abashedly, looking away from him. In hindsight, you aren’t sure what possessed you to kiss him like that — you want to pretend it was to stave Davey away, but your traitorous heart says otherwise.

God, you think, it was a really good kiss. If only James liked it as much as you did.

If only you knew.

“Sorry,” you add in a hurry, still grimacing. “I — I wasn’t thinking, I just didn’t want Davey to come over here and I —”

“Y/N,” James interrupts, his voice rough, gravelly around the edges. “Stop talking.”

You let out a breath. “Why?”

“I want to pretend you kissed me because you wanted to, just for one more second.”

“What?” You ask, your eyes wide. “Why?”

James thinks, isn’t it obvious? He’s still marvelling over how perfect your mouth is.

“Because,” he admits quietly, “I’ve been wanting to do that for a while now.”

You don’t know what to say to this. Your still chest to chest with less than an inch between your figures, and you can feel your poor heart struggling to free itself from its cage. “You have?” You say, suddenly bashful.

James nods. His pupils are a little blown, his unkempt hair a mess, and he keeps his gaze trained on your lips as though he’s being paid for it. “And listen,” he murmurs, reaching forward to thumb over them softly. “Don’t worry about Davey Gudgeon.”

“Why not, James Potter?”

“Because I’d sooner die than let that bludger bore my girl to death again.”

[accio-sriracha]

Sirius Anything-But-Black.

~~~♤~~~

Sirius hates his last name. He always joked around by going by his friend's names instead.

Sirius Potter was the most common, of course. He was practically raised by the Potter's, he and James had been brothers for years of course he was a Potter.

Second was Pettigrew, mostly when joking around with Peter.

He'd make comments like "This is why it's so great to be a part of the Pettigrew family!" and "Don't you dare disrespect the Pettigrew Brothers!"

A handful of times he even used Lily's last name, referring to himself as Sirius Evans.

She finds it hilarious, as soon as she catches on that he hates his last name she starts calling him Evans too.

Whenever she'd pass by the group and greet James as Potter, she'd always make sure to reply to Sirius' "Hey, Evans!" With a "Hello, Evans." In return.

Every once in a while he used their other friend's names too; Meadowes, Longbottom, McKinnon, he went as far as to use McGonagall once and nearly got detention for a week.

But he never used Lupin.

Remus asks him one lazy Saturday morning as the group was sprawled across the furniture in the common room.

He'd wondered for years, they all secretly had, but it never meant enough to any of them to really ask.

"Why do you never go by Sirius Lupin?" Remus asked, filling the lull in conversation.

It was supposed to be a casual question, but there was nothing casual about the look Sirius gave him when he replied,

"Because you haven't asked me to marry you yet, Moons."

The room was silent. Remus and Sirius were staring at each other for a long time. Remus slowly stood up and walked over to him, kneeling down in front of his chair,

"Sirius, will you marry me?" He whispered.

"Of course, Remus." Sirius breathed.

Nobody else could tell if they were joking or not. They'd never once shown feelings towards each other, nothing more than what they normally did.

Remus wasn't even gay.

But then, all of the sudden, Remus and Sirius were found walking the halls hand in hand, placing gentle kisses on each other's cheeks.

They started sleeping in the same bed at night, Remus curled on his side with his nose nuzzled against Sirius' neck.

Sirius exclusively went by Sirius Lupin now, refusing to go by anything else. He also made it very clear to all of his suitors that he was engaged and off the market.

The others still couldn't quite tell how much further they would go for the bit, but they seemed happy?? So they were all happy too.

Immediately after graduation they got married and made it official. Everyone was kinda blown away, but then again, it was Remus and Sirius, they've kind of always been dating, even when they weren't.

The others finally asked years later if they'd been secretly dating prior to that, since it was the only thing that made sense.

Sirius shook his head, "No, I had no idea Rem liked me back. I was just really in love with him."

Remus nodded, explaining he wasn't actually sure if Sirius was joking or not either at first, but he was too in love to question it, and took the chance he got.

It ended up working out, Sirius was now- in all ways including legally- Mr. Sirius Lupin.

And he'd never been happier.

~~~♤~~~

[g1rld1ary]

5 people james didn't mean to kiss (and one he did) ; james potter x fem!reader

➻ first james fic!! i love reviving old fanfic trends <33

➻ word count: 4494

➻ synopsis: says it on the tin baby!

➻ warnings: swearing, allusions to sex/dirty jokes, era typical homophobia (basically nonexistent)

════ ⋆★⋆ ════

James Potter was a very affectionate person, everyone knew that. His love language was absolutely physical touch — everyone knew that too. It was also assumed, therefore, that James Potter had an extensive list of kisses. That assumption wasn’t necessarily wrong, but a good chunk of them weren’t exactly what you imagined when thinking of the great James Potter kissing someone. They were often impulsive when he didn’t know how else to express his feelings. His very first kiss, for example, wasn’t exactly the cheesy, romantic soap opera that he often advertised providing for girls.

Sirius Black

The Marauders sat in their dorm room, early on in second year. While first year was packed with ridiculous adventures and the forming of their friendship group, second year brought a new awareness of girls, romance and especially kissing. That was the topic of discussion as the boys all packed into one bed, hypothesising about what it might be like. James and Sirius led the discussion with much bravado and false confidence whilst Peter looked decidedly scared. Remus, to his credit, just looked rather amused at it all.

“But where do you touch her?” James asked, eyes still wide and innocent and twelve years old, “I can’t just stand there with my hands at my sides like a twat!”

“Don’t be stupid, you hold her like this.” Sirius bent his arms in a direction that looked borderline painful. Remus huffed and climbed off the bed, pulling both the boys with him.

“If you’re gonna kiss a girl,” Remus instructed, “You have to hold her gently. Don’t push her around like she’s dead weight. James, put your arms around Sirius’ waist like that, now Sirius, you put your arms around his neck.”

“Pete’s gonna think we’re bent,” Sirius grumbled, a red hue on his cheeks.

“You are bent, you poof,” Peter quipped from his spot on the bed. He was right, of course, but that wouldn’t come to light until fourth year. James thought this was hilarious though, and began miming exaggerated — rather sloppy — kisses. And since James never failed to cure Sirius of his moods, he did the same. Remus rolled his eyes as the two boys acted out a passionate scene, loose tongues and all, until they were no longer acting.

All four boys in the dorm were frozen as James and Sirius’ mouths had accidentally connected in their stupidity, none of them sure what to do. Seconds passed as the two stood, lips locked against each other, no one daring to move. At least, until Remus let out a long, uncharacteristic wheeze, which dissolved into a fit of giggles that he would usually be mortified by, but there was no way he was outdoing the kiss anytime soon. Peter followed along momentarily, laughing so hard barely any sound actually came out, silent heaves punctuated by gasping breaths.

Released from their stupor both boys leapt apart, wiping their mouths with their forearms. Both had comical expressions of disgust, still slightly too stunned to verbalise any of it.

“We,” James heaved, “Can never speak of this again. Ever.” Sirius agreed in a heartbeat, still unable to completely wipe the blush from his pale complexion. He probably would have dwelled on those feelings if James wasn’t James, beginning to see the humour in it soon enough. By the end of the night it was an inside joke that would proceed to be referenced countless times within the walls of Hogwarts.

So although James would tell the story of his first kiss quite differently — he alleged it was with a Ravenclaw named Keeley a few weeks later, his proper first kiss will always have been with one Sirius Black in the Gryffindor dormitories on an otherwise unassuming Tuesday evening. And that secret was held onto dearly by all four marauders until, of course, Sirius’ best man speech at James’ wedding, where the anecdote received uproarious applause, loudest of all by James himself.

2. Remus Lupin

The Marauders had all known about Remus’ ‘furry little problem’ since their second year — first for the most perceptive of the bunch. Nevertheless, the group were insistent in helping Remus in any way they could, though it was a difficult task when his alter ego had no resistance to killing them. Until Sirius had come to them with the idea of becoming animagi. It was difficult no doubt, advanced magic far beyond the teaching at Hogwarts, but the four of them were exceptional wizards each in their own way, and the project seemed somewhat manageable with four brains chipping away at it over the course of two years.

When they finally did get it, hardly any of them could believe it, least of all Remus. He had never imagined that the human side of him was worthy of this much love and devotion, let alone the monster within him. However, despite how they tried to play it off, the achievement didn’t come easily to any of them. Sirius was the first to get it, big black dog accompanying the group around the castle and becoming an unexpected staple of the Gryffindor common room. You in particular liked to cuddle up with him on the couch and spoil him with head scratches when you were stressed from school — at least until the secret was revealed and you hit him upside his human head for deceiving you.

James was second to get it, though much less gracefully than Sirius. The whole group of Gryffindors had been hanging out together down by the Black Lake, enjoying the slowly warming weather after class one day. James had the misfortune of being sat between you and Lily, which made things very confusing for his hormonal body and brain. His eyes were trained on his hands, too afraid to actually talk to either of you and embarrass himself which was what usually happened. You and Lily, however, were hell bent on making that occur. While James had had a well known crush on Lily for the last few years, ever since you’d come back to school that year post-puberty you could both tell that James was both emotionally and physically confused. You both delighted in this and used it to your advantage, Lily finding him the most annoying man on earth and you delighting in his flustered expressions (secretly finding him actually pretty cute).

After thirty minutes of torture, James couldn’t take it. You’d made one too many dirty jokes directed at him and he was a blushing mess, fidgeting awkwardly between you and Lily laughing gleefully. He excused himself quickly and uncharacteristically quietly, hurrying off to be out of sight of his friends. You all laughed as you watched him go, and Remus reluctantly stood, muttering something about making sure James didn’t drive himself crazy.

Remus headed straight to the Forbidden Forest, knowing the privacy would be what James desired in the moment. Sure enough there he was, taking a moment to breathe against a tree.

“Easy there, Potter, don’t cum in your pants,” He joked, obviously amused by the whole ordeal. James turned quickly, devastated at Remus seeing him so sexually frustrated.

“Sod off, Lupin. It’s not my fault! They both just sit there looking so fucking good, talking about all these unholy things and you expect me to just be fine with it? It’s so—” Instead of the exasperated groan Remus expected, he was met with a stag standing tall in front of him. He couldn’t help his mouth dropping open, the animal far more magnificent than he could have expected out of the fourteen year old boy.

In a weird shift of figure the deer was back to boy, and James only had a moment of shocked stillness before he was whooping and yelling in the grass. Remus joined him, the two of them yelling and dancing around like idiots in their joy. James pulled him in for a hug, appropriately masculine until he pressed a kiss onto Remus’ lips, still grinning ecstatically as they pulled away. Remus scowled in a way he hoped was convincing.

“I hate it when you do that, Potter,” He grumbled as the two of them returned to their friends.

“Yeah, right,” James laughed, pushing his glasses up his nose. “It’s a blessing to be kissed by my sexy arse.”

3. Peter Pettigrew

While all four of the Marauders were undoubtedly exceptional wizards, that didn’t always translate into their grades. For example, being so ahead in the curriculum made James Potter get lazy, often submitting subpar essays simply because he figured it was already common knowledge and he was more interested in higher level magic. He always ended up with top grades from outstanding extra credit projects, but the point still stood.

Peter was similarly a great wizard. Perhaps not so much a prodigy like James or Sirius, and didn’t dominate the class ranks like Remus, but he did well for himself and was pretty exceptional in Herbology and Care of Magical Creatures. However, he was failing History of Magic. All four of them had chosen the subject for their OWLs, assuming it would be an easy O because of the ghost professor. They couldn’t be more wrong. Binns was a useless teacher and Peter especially found it difficult to teach himself the material just from the textbook, and was falling dreadfully behind, each essay earning a worse grade than the last.

James had offered to help tutor him before their exams, and the two buckled down in the library almost every day in the weeks leading up to exam season. Peter made pretty good progress, eager to catch up with his friends and prove he was on their level. Still, everyone was nervous for the test and its outcome.

When results were released, you and the Gryffindors were all together. Whilst you and the girls all got the reveal over and done with, the boys all waited with bated breaths. Most of the grades weren’t shocking — three of them knew they could easily get top grades from the little effort they put in, but they were all waiting on Peter’s History of Magic grade. The blond boy opened his paper with shaky hands, eyes scanning frantically over the information contained. Slowly he raised his head, nervous smile apparent.

“I got an A,” He said, and within an instant the boys were on top of him, congratulating him with strong hugs or by clapping him on the back. James grabbed both of his cheeks, pressing them together and pushing a kiss onto Peter’s lips.

“Prongs!” Peter moaned, pushing his face away half-heartedly.

“I’m just proud of you, Wormtail,” He cooed, appearing much like his mother whom you all adored.

“Oi, Potter,” You interrupted, waving your sheet of results around. “I got an O in Potions — where’s my kiss?” James immediately broke your eye contact, and you pretended you weren’t charmed by his embarrassed little smile. He mumbled a response that had his friends ripping him to shreds, egging him on whilst simultaneously teasing him and his alleged manhood. He pressed a gentle peck to your forehead and you raised an eyebrow.

“Not what I meant, but ok.”

4. Regulus Black

Regulus Black had a difficult relationship with the Marauders, to say the very least. By his fifth year — the rest of the boys’ sixth — Sirius had been at the Potter’s for months and Regulus was still reeling from the impact. He was noticeably quieter and more sombre than in years previous, and a dangerous resentment for his brother and his friends bubbled under his skin.

James Potter connected these dots quickly. However, he didn’t really know what to do about it. He wasn’t sorry that Sirius was living with him, but he didn’t like that Regulus was left all alone with their wicked parents, regardless of their personal differences. That brought James to you.

You sat together on the couch, his head resting next to your thighs, curls just brushing against your skin in a way that you couldn’t stop thinking about. He was lamenting about his mental struggles as you worked on your crochet, thinking quietly as he rambled on.

“Why don’t you just talk to him?” You asked suddenly, and James tilted his head to look up at you, holding back his laughter at your upside down appearance.

“What?” He asked, “I can’t talk to him, he hates me!”

“When has that ever stopped you before? Lily hates you and yet you bother her all the time,” You said, smile playing on your lips.

“That’s not true!” James protested, “I don’t bother her that much anymore!” You rolled your eyes playfully and turned back to your craft as James continued to ponder the situation.

As usual, he decided you were right. And so he sent a short letter to Regulus, asking for a meeting on the Astronomy tower at midnight. Surprisingly he’d agreed, and the two boys were standing awkwardly across each other on the tower. Regulus refused to start the conversation and so stood in silence, staring down James in an effort to scare him off. James wouldn’t be deterred.

“I just wanted to talk about what happened last year,” He said, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose nervously.

“There’s nothing to talk about.”

“C’mon. I know we’re not friends, but I also figured none of your friends are the talking type either. So, I thought you could talk to me — full confidentiality. I don’t know, blame me, yell at me, I just don’t want you to do this all by yourself.”

“How sweet, Potter,” He sneered, “But I don’t need to talk about any of my feelings.”

James Potter was nothing if not persistent.

“Ok, well if you don’t want to talk, how about you listen?” To his surprise, Regulus stayed. One perfect eyebrow raised, he slowly sat next to James, legs dangling over the edge of the tower. After a gesture for him to go on, James started. He began to talk about the process of having Sirius live with him, the feelings they both had about it, and the guilt they both felt about leaving Regulus alone. At that Regulus looked up, eyes pooling with hope.

Then without any warning, Regulus was talking more than James had ever heard before, spilling what he supposed must have been the younger boy’s darkest secrets and vulnerabilities. James was unprepared, not actually expecting him to engage. At one point James had put a comforting arm around Regulus’ shoulder, words failing to express any of the feelings he had inside. Regulus didn’t pull away as James expected, instead only starting to cry. James just watched in disbelief as Regulus cried into his chest. Awkwardly, James arranged himself to press a gentle kiss to Regulus’ forehead right as Regulus moved to look up and speak, resulting in a ridiculous kiss between the two of them.

They jumped apart in less than a second, both with horrified looks on their faces.

“Oh my God—”

“That was an accident I swear—”

“I’m really sorry—”

“I was just trying to comfort you—”

Both boys stumbled over their words as they clambered up to their feet, putting a strictly heterosexual amount of space between them.

“Um, I’m just gonna go,” Regulus settled on, backing up towards the door.

“I’m seriously sorry, Black. It’s just something I do — doesn’t usually backfire like that.” Regulus just nodded, leaving quickly.

“Potter?” He stopped halfway through the door and James looked up. “Thanks.” James didn’t get any time to reply as Regulus was long gone, leaving him to cringe on his own. Neither of them would be telling anybody about the incident. Ever.

5. Lily Evans

You and James had been doing your will-they-won’t-they thing for a long time. Not quite since you met, but once you’d both started to notice the opposite sex you’d been participating in a battle of who could resist the longest. Teasing and cajoling were staples of your relationship. Whilst it had started as a way to pass the time; James had been in love with Lily since second year and you just liked to tease, at some point the feelings crossed over into a real and dangerous territory. However, neither of you wanted to do anything in case the feelings weren’t reciprocated, and truthfully hadn’t realised the true depth of them.

You and James were the only ones not to see the obvious: the feelings were absolutely reciprocated. It was tearing your friends apart, trying to get one of you to finally confess before you finished school forever. There were bets in place, pep talks and everything else the Gryffindors could think of to finally cause the event they’d been hoping for. Eventually, Lily had had enough.

One day you were all hanging out in your dormitory, most of you doing your homework and Marlene fiddling with a record player, trying to get it to come back to life.

“So, what would you guys think if I gave James a chance?” Lily asked, too coy to be genuine, but you were caught off-guard enough that you didn’t notice. “I mean, I know I’ve said some terrible things over the years, but now that he’s backed off he’s actually a really nice guy.”

“But… James?” You asked incredulously, essay immediately forgotten.

“Yeah, why not? He’s the hottest guy in our year, and if all goes to shit it’s only a few months until we graduate and I’ll never have to see him again.”

“But it’s James!” The rest of the girls had caught on to what Lily was scheming and delighted in joining in.

“Why shouldn’t she? It’s not like you like him, right?” Mary asked, studying your expressions. You hesitated for a moment, trying to find the right words. And just when they thought Lily had finally succeeded in getting the ball rolling you answered: “No, of course not. You go ahead, Lils.”

What started as a ploy to get you to admit your feelings only snowballed from there when Lily realised she couldn’t just back out now. And so she hatched a plan. Everything was going perfectly; Sirius and Remus had made sure the common room was devoid of younger students so no unhelpful rumours could be spread, and Marlene had been hanging out with you all evening to make sure you stuck to the schedule she’d devised.

With perfect precision, you and Marlene entered through the portrait just as Lily came down from the dorms.

“Hey, Potter,” She called, and James looked up curiously from his game of wizard’s chess. The redhead marched over to him, cupping both of his cheeks and kissing him strongly. Your jaw dropped open. You couldn’t believe Lily was just going for it like that, but even more you couldn’t believe the sick feeling creeping up from your stomach. You looked at Marlene, who only looked marginally less shocked. A glance around the room proved similar. Although they all knew Lily’s plan, it was two entirely different things to hear about her scheme to get the two of you together and seeing Lily Evans kissing James Potter.

“I’ve, uh, gotta go,” You mumbled, somehow finding your footing to run from the room, desperate to get anywhere where you didn’t have to see that, and the subsequent (or so you believed) union of a happy couple.

Lily pulled away from the kiss, eyes immediately trying to find you and she was puzzled when she couldn’t. A look at Marlene told her all she needed to know and her heart sank; she’d failed. James was looking a little more dazed than the head girl, and suddenly looked terribly awkward in his seat.

“Look, Lils. Please don’t take this the wrong way, but I don’t feel that way about you anymore. There’s— there’s someone else, and I, I have to go.” With that James headed up to his dormitory, and the rest of your friends stood in a thick silence for several moments.

“I think I just made everything worse,” Lily said, and then the chaos started.

“What the fuck did you think was going to happen?” Sirius asked loudly, running a stressed hand through his hair.

“I don’t know! I just figured maybe they’d have an epiphany and both realise they’d rather be kissing each other!” Lily cried, throwing herself into an armchair.

You

Lily was right, she’d unintentionally made everything worse. You were upset at what you’d seen and the story you’d attributed to it, and even more so at your terribly timed realisation of your feelings. Because of this you’d started avoiding James in an effort to get over him, which only made you more miserable that you couldn’t talk to your favourite person. James, in turn, hadn’t seen you enter the common room on the night of the kiss and so believed —and dearly hoped — that you were blissfully ignorant, and so was equally perplexed and distraught at the space between you. He’d tried to approach you about it but you evaded him or turned him away every time.

“Hey, love, can we please—”

“It’s fine, James,” You interrupted him, “It was all just a bit of fun, right? All the flirting, the being touchy. But now you’re with Lily and I’ll back off, I get it, don’t worry. I wish you two every happiness.” You tried to sound as genuine as you could while sadness bit at your heart, and left James standing astounded in the corridor. Now he knew that you’d seen the kiss the issue was obvious, but the solution remained a mystery to him.

You’d taken to Marlene to get your feelings out, and she listened patiently as you rattled off a monologue about your childish jealousy and broken heart. Luckily, she’d discussed how to handle this with Lily — who knew you wouldn’t go to her because of her alleged involvement with James, and set off (hopefully) your friend’s last attempt to get you two together. She finally shook you out of it, frustrated with the lack of action.

“They’re not together,” She said, stopping you in your tracks.

“What?”

“They’re not together,” She repeated, making intense eye contact with you. “It was all this dumb plan Lily had to get the two of you together. She thought if you saw James getting with someone else you’d finally realise your feelings for him. And you did, but you were supposed to stick around to hear Potter reject her and say that he liked someone else, you.” You were shocked into silence, what could you say to that?

“So,” You started carefully, “What do I do now?”

James was in a similar situation with the boys.

“She saw Lily kiss me and now she thinks I like Lily when I like her! Plus, she won’t even be in my presence long enough for me to explain that it’s all just this huge misunderstanding and it’s her I want to be snogging!” James lay dramatically across his bed as the boys sighed.

“Prongs, isn’t it obvious?” Sirius asked and James cocked his head to the side, looking remarkably like a confused puppy. “Do something she can’t ignore. Make a grand gesture to prove your feelings for her.” James thought about it, it made sense. If you wouldn’t hear his explanation, he’d just have to make you.

“How?”

You and James went into the following Saturday with the same goal. It was Gryffindor’s quidditch semi-final, so there was a party being held whatever the outcome. It would be the first time you’d see each other since you’d realised your mistake since training was taking up all of James’ time.

Gryffindor had won, thankfully, which had both of you in higher spirits. The party was already in full swing by the time you got there, opting for a smoke first to calm your nerves. You’d spotted James almost as soon as you entered, always the heart and soul of a party. You marched towards him with a purpose, but as soon as he set eyes on you he jumped up to stand on a table. Someone had lowered the volume of the music — not silent, but low enough so you could hear him yelling over it. He said your full name, clearly and intentionally in a way that had surrounding people look at you curiously.

“I love you,” He said suddenly. “I am in love with you, not anyone else, and whatever made you think that’s not true was just a huge misunderstanding. Because I love you so much, and all I want to do is snog you until I’m the only name you remember, baby.” You let out a short laugh at his vulgarity and the cocky smirk that accompanied it, but a cheek-splitting smile won out when you thought about the preceding words and the sincerity he’d instilled in them. Before you even knew what you were doing you were racing towards him, gratefully taking Peter’s hand to join James on the table.

You honestly couldn’t tell who had initiated the kiss, but you were suddenly so intimately joined together it was like all the air had been sucked out of your lungs, compressing your body in an effort to fuse to his. His strong arms around you couldn’t shield you from the confetti being thrown around (for the match, of course, not just your kiss), nor the catcalls of your friends. You only pulled away when you felt James’ tongue start exploring a little too far, mindful that half the people you knew were watching. You wore matching grins as you parted, foreheads still pressed together and breathing heavy.

While it might have taken four years, innumerable (accidental) kisses and one failed set-up plan to get there, you were sure in your heart that James Potter was the only boy you ever wanted to kiss. And so you did, over and over for the years to come, and you cheered and applauded enthusiastically as the seemingly never ending list of friends and family told stories of receiving a coveted James Potter kiss throughout the years, knowing you were the only one who got to be his bride.

[ddejavvu]

I love your james potter fic!

Was wondering if you could write smtg based on friends tv series season 5 episode 2, where chandler and monica are in a secret relationship and accidentally kissed monica infront of the others? & had to kiss everyone to cover it?

Can you rewrite a james x reader based on that? Readers friends can be lily, marlene and etc. I think it’d be hilarious especially when sirius, remus and peter had to witness that with shocked. Or they were the one james had to kiss? However it is, i put it in your hands! im sure I’ll love your writing regardless!

James doesn't even think once before he leans down to peck your lips in passing, but at the bewildered stares from the rest of your friends, who had somehow escaped his perception until just then, he thinks once, then twice.

He should not have kissed you.

Not now, not in front of a group of people who you've been concealing your relationship from for months. It's not that you can't trust them, or that they'd disapprove. No, it's more that they'd say I told you so, and neither you nor James is keen on that.

He thinks fast now that his brain is functioning, and moves on to Sirius just the way he did you.

"Right, now you," He mutters, pecking Sirius chastely against the corner of his mouth, "And Marlene, love you, wonderful to see you." He kisses her the same, and you note that he veers closer towards her cheek. You're grateful for it, because you're not sure you could handle seeing her lipstick on his lips for the night.

"Remus," James greets with a grin, but before the man can plant one on him Remus holds out a steady hand, pushing it against James's chest and holding him away.

"No thanks. I don't know what it is you're doing, but no thanks."

"I'm greeting my friends," James gushes, plopping down in the only empty seat and taking Lily's hand into his own. He presses a kiss to the back of it, but as a frequent recipient of James Potter's back-of-the-hand kisses, he doesn't give her much compared to what he gives you.

The group mutually decides to forgive James's odd behavior, seeing as he's comprised mainly of the stuff. That doesn't mean he's forgiven, however, as Lily's face crumples into a grimace.

"Remus," She looks towards the man on her left, holding her hand out like it's diseased, "Do you have any hand sanitizer?"

"Some friends you are," James grumbles, huffing as he crosses his arms over his chest, and Marlene dives for the bottle as soon as Lily finishes with it.

"Someone call poison control," She pleads, dispensing a liberal amount into her palm, "I'm about to apply this like it's lip gloss."

[fourmoony]

oh my god. eating the chocolate that makes you really horny with james!!! plslsllslss

thank you for requesting! this is 2.2k words of pure smut. i guess it got away from me? f!reader, mdni

cw: drug use, unprotected sex, cock warming, p in v, cream pie

Your body feels like it's thrumming with energy. Skin tingling, a static in your veins that's making it impossible to sit still. But you try. You really, really try because you refuse to lose. Even if it feels like every minute you're not doing anything about the burning in your veins is a minute closer to death.

It's Sirius' fault, really. He and Remus had thought it was a wholly hilarious idea to bring back a 'special' bar of chocolate from their trip to Amsterdam. Lo and behold, it hadn't been a typical special chocolate bar, but an aphrodisiac one, instead. Ensue a bet about whether or not it actually works and now. Well, now you're eating your entirely too confident words about it being a load of bullshit. You could give in. You could admit defeat because it's not like Sirius and Remus stuck around for long after theirs kicked in.

But it's just you and James in your tiny shared flat and you really don't feel like announcing departure to your room and having him know what you're up to in there. Especially when it doesn't seem to be affecting James the way it's affecting you. His eyes are trained on the television, feet kicked up on the coffee table. He looks normal, unfazed. You try to remember if he even ate any of the chocolate but your brain is too clouded. Too foggy with the feeling of need.

You try to settle, press your thighs together and chance another look at the clock. It's not late enough to claim fatigue. You sigh, resigned to your fate.

James shifts, burrows further into the couch as his head tilts over to look at you. "You okay?" He asks.

His voice sends jolts like pure electricity down your spine. He and the boys had smoked, too, before taking the chocolate. The lazy tilt to his voice reverberates through you until you feel yourself throbbing. "Yeah, all good." You bite out.

You're the furthest thing from all good, in actuality. Sure, you've thought about screwing James before. In passing. He's your roommate, it only takes walking into the bathroom at an inopportune time to supply a weeks worth of seedy dreams that leave you feeling guilty, after. But this is different. You're genuinely concerned that if you don't get James out of your line of sight, now, you're going to proposition him and then you're going to have to move out and never show face again.

Fuck Sirius and his chocolate.

James doesn't say anything for a while. You're not sure if he believes you, by the way his eyes flick over every now and then. His gaze is burning hot, your limbs screaming out for you to move. Everything is too much; the ache, the throbbing, the wetness you can feel pressing against your panties. It only intensifies when, finally, James reaches out. Slowly, softly, fingers encircling the skin of your ankle. He holds for a while, draws lazy circles against the bone until you're practically writhing in your seat. You don'd doubt for a second that he can't hear your shallow breathing, that he doesn't know exactly what he's doing.

Or, maybe, he doesn't. Maybe he's as worked up as you and needs the touch like you do.

The desire grows, the burning grows, angry and unavoidable until you feel the welling of tears in your eyes. It should be embarrassing, should be absolutely mortifying to be crying from James' touch. A touch he gives you so often and never means anything. A touch that usually soothes you.

His eyes flick over once more, catch the tears that slip freely down your cheeks, even as your eyes focus solely on the television. James calls on you, his face soft and filled with pity. He beckons you towards him with a tug on your ankle and you go. No questions. Because it's all too much and you just need it to end.

"Hey," James shushes, ushering you to sit in his lap, warm hands cupping your head as his thumb swipes at your tears. "Whats wrong, angel?"

"It's too much, Jamie." Your voice is weak, shaky. You feel pathetic and needy and the feeling of James' strong thighs underneath you aren't helping.

He brushes the hair from your face gently, runs the pads of his fingers down your bare arms, the skin of your thighs. You shiver under his touch, eyes closing. "Okay, okay," James' voice comes barely above a placating whisper, "I'm gonna make it better, angel. Okay?"

You whine, falling face first into his shoulder, "Please."

He doesn't say anything else as he cants his hips upward. You feel the warmth of his skin against your thighs as he pulls his pyjama bottoms down, the hardness of him when he settles you both back down. The chocolate has clearly affected him, too. It feels better to know, less overwhelming that you're not having some kind of terrible reaction to it.

You clench around nothing at the mere idea of his cock against your thigh. James can't seem to help the way he bucks a few times against your skin, breaths shallow and throaty. His hands on your ass cheeks encourage you up onto your knees, your face still buried in the warmth of his shoulder. You do as he urges, practically scream when you feel James run his head along your soaked slit.

"Shh," James coos, "It's okay. You're okay."

He urges you down his cock slowly, the pressure like nothing you've ever felt before. It keeps going and going until you feel so full you can't breathe, can't move, can't do anything but fist the material of James' sleep shirt and moan brokenly into his shoulder. When you're at the hilt, James' hips cant upwards, the feeling like being hit with a blast of lightening straight from the sky. You cry out, lifting James' shirt until your hands slip underneath, warm skin meeting the blunt edges of your nails. James groans when they dig in.

You try to move your hips, breaths evening out now that the worst of your need is gone. You feel satiated, pacified. You feel stuffed full and deliriously happy. James stops you from moving, though, hands firmly fisted in the material of your sleep shorts. "Just stay like this a minute." He murmurs.

You nod, allow yourself to relax fully into him. He lifts your shirt over your head, exposes your overheated skin to the cool air and you sigh. His own shirt follows a minute later, your nipples brushing against his chest. It sends jolts through your entire body, simultaneously flatlines your heart and brings it back to life. You moan and whine, feel your own wetness seeping between you both as James runs the pads of his fingers up and down the plane of your back.

You're not sure how long you lie like that, lost in the fullness of him, the static of his touch. It feels like seconds and hours, and when the credits of whatever movie start to roll, James ushers you out of his shoulder. The shift makes you both whine, James' grip tightening on your ass. "You doing okay?" He asks.

His face is so earnest, even in his own pleasure. Gentle hazel eyes that meet yours with so much respect and care. His glasses are slanted on his face and you reach up to fix them, hands trembling. "Never better." You tell him, honestly.

James smiles softly, "How do you want it?"

You clench around him at the question, breathy sounds coming from you. James' hands reach up until he's holding one of your tits in each hand, thumb nail grazing your nipples with each pass. It's dizzying, maddening. "Fuck," You tilt your head back, can't help the tiny lift and drop of your hips that has James squeezing your tits and groaning, "Hard, Jamie. Please."

He doesn't waste any time. James pulls you forwards, taking one of your nipples in his mouth. Uses his free hand to hold your hips in place as he snaps up and into you. The scream that leaves your throat is animalistic, it's pleasure-filled and filthy, like the wet sounds of skin meeting skin that fill the living room as James sets a relentless pace.

The drag of him against your walls is overstimulating, mixed with the chocolate. His thrusts are harsh and deep, his teeth clenched firmly against your nipple. "Fuck, James, I'm gonna come." You grit out, breathy and half moaned.

James releases your nipple, burrows you closer to his shoulder and focusses all his attention on thrusting. It's hard and animalistic and messy and loud and when he hits that one, perfect spot, he has you screaming into the pillows of the couch. You feel yourself gushing until your sleep shorts are soaked, are far too gone to notice fully when James flips you, pulls the sleep shorts down your legs and removes his own pyjama bottoms.

"You okay?" He asks, hands running a soothing path up your legs.

He waits for your nod, your promise that you've never, ever, been better, before he turns you onto your stomach, pulls your hips until you're face down on the couch.

His tongue licks the slick from your centre, a guttural sob escaping you at the feeling of him. It's a sex crazed daze when he slams back into you, hands bruising on your hips. It's deeper, fuller, from this angle and you feel like you might combust. It's deliciously perfect, the mix of want and need from the chocolate, and the way that James slams against your ass cheeks over and over and over.

His cock drags against your walls, squeezing and teasing until he's a moaning mess against your back. He leans over you, warm and body rock solid, pressing you into the couch. Your head tilts sideways to meet him, hair plastered to his forehead with sweat, body jutting against yours. Desperate hands grab at the side of your face, prying your mouth open until his fingers can slip inside. He presses harsh against your tongue, cock jamming against every part of you that needs him most and your body seizes again, clenching and gushing all over James as you light on fire. It's euphoric, and James doesn't stop. Fingers slick with your spit, James pulls back, pulls your hips impossibly higher and reaches around until he has two fingers drawing tight circles on your clit.

You see stars, crying and moaning and babbling nonsense and James keeps going. His fingers draw tight circles, his cock slams into every inch of you and suddenly it all doesn't feel enough.

"More, Jamie. Need more." You pant, gripping senselessly at the couch cushions.

James presses a kiss to your tail bone, slows his pace, "So greedy. You've already came three times and you want more?"

You whine, limbs mush when James pulls out and turns you to face him. Your legs wrap around his back on instinct, pulling him closer and he goes. His head juts against your clit, heavy and sensual.

"Please, Jamie."

James has never not given you whatever you wanted and so he complies, thrusts forward so slowly you think you might implode. His hand grips the back of your thigh, pushes until it's resting firmly on his shoulder before pulling almost all the way out. You both watch as he slides slowly back in, revelling in the way your cunt pulls all of him in, swallows him whole. You whine, hips canting upwards and James smiles. "So, so needy."

He slams in and out in one quick motion, steals the very breath from your lungs. Your back arches, the burn of your thigh a delightful pain. James is somehow more relentless, like this, fast and hard and bruising as he meets every single spot you need him to. He uses his free hand to press firmly against your clit, messy and with barely any rhythm but its maddening, still.

It all feels too much, like this. The beads of sweat that fall from him and onto you, his groans and his relentless pace. The feeling of his muscles against you, the darkness of his eyes. It sends you spiralling once again, louder and harder than before, clenching around James until you're trembling uncontrollably.

He lets go of your thigh, falls until he's on top of you, hips jutting once, twice, more, until he's spilling into you. Hot and warm and by the load. He doesn't stop spilling for what feels like forever, the warm spurts a welcomed comfort. It's dirty and hot and you never want to leave this moment.

You lift your hands to trail across James' back and he shudders, pressing kisses to the skin of your tits, tongue darting out to take claim of a nipple that has you whining. "Two minutes. I need two minutes and then I'm going to lick my cum out of you," James whispers, teeth nipping at the skin of your tit, his hips cant upwards and you whine, legs widening so you can feel the slip of his seed down your ass cheeks, "Every last drop. And then we're going to do that again."

You press against him, needy and uncaring. "Please."

You feel his grin, feel the twitch of his cock, still inside you as it starts to ready itself. "And then I'm going to call Sirius and tell him how well his chocolate works."

You can't even bring yourself to protest, not when you can feel James' fingers start to collect his spilled seed from around your hole. So what if Sirius was right? You feel like you've been compensated enough for your troubles.

[raiynnah]

Rescue

@wolfstarmicrofic - word count: 676

“Let’s go save your damsel in distress,” James says to Remus through a chuckle. He’s nervous—they all are—and trying to hide it through the many jokes that don’t land quite right. 

Rolling his eyes, he tells James, “Sirius is not a princess locked away in a tower.”

“Are you sure?” Peter squeaks out, looking a bit green in the face as he peeks over the car window at Grimmauld Place. “Because I’m not convinced his mum doesn’t breathe fire.” They hadn’t needed much convincing with teenage invincibility on their side but now, with the danger ominously staring right at them, the fear is beginning to set in.

“Ok, what’s the plan, Moony?” Remus groans, thinking hard. Of course James wouldn’t have planned anything before storming through their houses and recruiting them for this insanely reckless rescue mission. Remus would do anything for his boyfriend though, especially to help him escape the dragon’s clutches, so he analyses their way in. He can’t even be mad at James for it.

“I’ll go up there and ring the doorbell to distract Kreacher…” He cruelly puts Kreacher in the role of the troll on the bridge, something which he’ll have to mention to Sirius later, who’d find it hilarious. “Wormtail will sneak in and open that window on the left that’s shrouded by those bushes from the inside. Prongs, you’ll sneak in there and go up to Padfoot’s room..” The plan unfolds in front of him as the minutes pass, his mind buzzing with adrenaline.

When he walks up to the forbidding door of Sirius’ nightmarish house, he gulps audibly, fear brimming in his chest, and knocks three times on the door. It creaks open to reveal Kreacher’s wrinkled face and stone-cold glare. Out of the corner of his eye he sees a rat run past them and into the house.

“Uh, hi!” Remus says, a fake smile plastered to his face. “I was hoping you could help me out here. You see—”

“What does the halfbreed want?” Kreacher asks, visibly annoyed. Remus winces.

“Well, I was on my daily walk today, just enjoying the good weather, you know?” It’s cloudy and cold but he continues. “When I realised that I was enjoying it a bit too much! You know how it is.” He raises his voice as he hears stumbling in the background, but Kreacher doesn’t seem to notice. “And then I realised I was lost! My grandmother always said…” 

He babbles on fruitlessly, repetitions and pauses blurring in his monologue, fear drilling through him. Minutes creep by slowly and Remus can see Kreacher getting increasingly irritated. He fidgets uncomfortably at the way those beady eyes look right through his soul.

“...And that’s when I saw your house and realised, wow, am I lucky that—” Kreacher slams the door shut and he can’t help but sigh in relief. Still, he waits for a couple seconds before making his way back to the car. Remus hurries into the driver’s seat, from where he watches the house for what feels like hours. It’s not until James and Peter are running out, Sirius hot on their trail, shouting “Go, go, go!” that he starts the car.

His friends jump in, both James and Peter in the back with a nod of unspoken agreement. Sirius looks lovely, wrenching the car door from Remus’ other side open, hair flying loose and a pillow lines pressed into his cheek. He pulls Remus in for a passionate kiss, slamming the door shut with his other hand at the same time as his mother rushes out of the house in fury. 

“Hi, Moony,” he says, drowsiness still in his voice, “I missed you.”

“Missed you too, sweetheart.” Remus steps on the gas and they speed away, the others making faces at Walburga from the back window. He’d saved his princess from the tower and he can’t wait to see Sirius’ face (offended and amused) when he says that out loud. He knows James will keep the jokes going for days, might as well get a head start.

[buzzyb33]

Podcasts

Prompt: a collection of clips from a podcast with Y/n and James- literally just them being a cute couple

Warnings: swearing, established relationship, both Y/n and James are content creators, short,

(I have so many requests and stuff but this just came to mind after seeing Ethan and faiths new podcast so.. I’ll get to them soon I swear)

One occurrence was the newest podcast, the two have videos every Thursday and read stupid Twitter threads and Reddit posts.

“So, James.” I say as I adjust my position.

“Yeah? Go on.” He smiles and I clear my throat, exaggerated.

“Would you rather kiss me for 100,000 grand or kiss the prettiest girl in the world for a million?” I cross my legs as I put my phone down from reading.

“Well- what? I kiss you everyday. So I- can just do it.. but for money? So obviously you.” He says, adjusting his glasses.

“That’s the wrong fucking answer, James.” I shake my head.

“What? Why? We don’t need a million- I suppose it’d be nice.” He speaks and watches me carefully as my jaw ticks.

“No! I’m the prettiest girl in the world! You’re meant to say: ‘oh y/n, I could kiss you and get the million,’ because I’m meant to be the prettiest girl in the world!”

I scoff and slam my hand as he starts laughing.

“Yeah-! That’s- what I meant! Oh fuck off that was a trick question. Yeah, I’d kiss you and get the million.” He pleads his case with amusement.

“Who’s the prettiest girl in the world?” I ask.

“You!”

I shake my head. “Not what you said before..”

Another time was a bit random, but it sits a nice place in Y/ns heart.

“You know, Y/n is getting her room re done. She claims she isn’t a loser but the amount of five nights at Freddy’s and Pokémon stuff is organised on her shelf I thought I was going to have a seizure from all the colours.” James says, flexing his fingers.

I roll my eyes, opening my mouth to speak but the frowning.

“I’m sorry- you’re a content creator and don’t know the five nights at Freddy’s lore? And I bet you could name like two fucking Pokémon.” I scoff, sipping my coffee.

He looks at me and laughs.

“You get so defensive! And I can name many Pokémon, you’re just borderline obsessed.”

He states and I scoff again.

“Sorry, James, how many fucking guitars do you own?” I retort and he rolls his eyes.

“I get payed for that, very different.” He replies and I scoff.

“Guys James is just mad he acts tureen years older than he is.” I snicker and he smiles.

“Okay, haha.”

Though, James’ favourite clip of the two is when they had Willne as a guest, him sat on the middle.

“So, how long do these normally go on for?” He asks as he shifts in his seat.

“About an hour.. maybe longer so..” James pulls his phone out, checking the time.

“Around an hour or something left.” He says and I nod, finding some threads to read out.

“What’s your home screen?” Will asks as James checks the time.

His face turns a little pink, only visible by the tips of his ears and nose.

“It’s me and Y/n in Australia.” He shows will and he can’t help but smile.

The photo consists of Y/n eating a cone of ice cream, one hand in James’ as they walk ahead of whoever took the photo, the sun is just setting and she has his rainbow scarf draped over her shoulders.

At that, i look up.

“What? The one Jago took?” I ask as I peer over and James nods.

“Awe..” I smile and he looks away.

“What’s yours then lass?” Will asks and i smile as I lock my phone to show him and the camera.

The photo is of my lips smooshed against James’ cheek and his hand in my forehead, attempting to push it away, I was sleep deprived when I did that and Jono found it hilarious at James’ trying-not-to-smile expression and snapped the photo.

Will fake gags and then chuckles.

The finally, the end of 2023 podcast was a fan favourite.

“What was your Spotify wrapped?” He asks, pulling his own phone out.

“I thought I’d ask on the podcast.” He adds with a smile.

I smile at his Tory accent and check.

“I haven’t looked yet..” I say as I tap through it.

“Hm. My number one song was heartbeat by childish Gambino, number two static by Steve lacy, number three was so long by you, number four was crying lighting and five was 505 by arctic monkeys.” I say with a soft smile.

“You have me?” He asks with a skeptical tone.

I scoff and shove my phone near him as he smirks.

“Alright alright.. artists?” He asks and I see.

“Arctic monkeys, you, Kanye west, childish gambino and TV girl.” I smile as I hand him my phone.

“I don’t think me and Kanye should ever be next to each other. In any list.” He says with a stupidly serious time and I let out a giggle.

“Shut up. What was your favourite edit of the year?” I ask and he shrugs.

“Edit? I don’t know..” he clearly thinks.

“Mine is the josh Hutcherson one.” I smile jd he rolls his eyes.

“Could at least lie and say it’s one of me.” He scoffs and I laugh.

“I did like the one where it was taking what’s not yours and it was a ship edit of us. That was sweet.” I smile and he nods.

“I saw that.. stop being al soft. Now I look like a prick.” I smile teasingly and he scoffs again.

A/n

Guys I’m so burnt out I know I have loads of requests but don’t let that stop you from keeping the coming cus I will be writing my favs first.

Also maybe I just wanted to yap about my interests and put them into the reader. Oh well.

Requests are open!

Masterlist!

[reysdriver]

Growing Up | J.P.

your daughter grows up enough to be added to a family tradition — dad!farmer!james x mom!reader fluff

warnings: none :)

words: 0.5k

Your daughter Ivy had taken her first steps a few days ago, which was not only a joyous occasion for your family, but it was also a moment worth documenting in the name of family memories. 

The feat quickly made it into the baby book, but you wanted to give your baby girl a few days to get more comfortable using her legs before the second part. 

But now it was finally time to add Ivy into an adorable family tradition in the Potter household, and you couldn’t be happier. Once every few months since Harry began to walk, you’ve been marking down his height on the exact same door frame where your husband marked his height when he was growing up. And now Ivy got to mark her growth in that exact same way. 

Oh god, here come the tears. 

No, you can’t cry. You promised James you wouldn’t cry today… right after crying with him in bed the night before.

Right after making the family a nice breakfast with fresh eggs and fruit you and the kids picked yesterday, you sat on the floor while the kids happily stood straight against the wall and James rifled through drawers to find a pencil. 

“Do you think I got taller, Mummy?” Harry asked excitedly. 

“Of course you have!” You replied, squishing his cheeks softly. “You grow so much every day; soon you’ll be as tall as your dad!”

“Or as tall as Uncle Remus!”

As hilarious as that response was, you were glad James wasn’t there to hear that quip. 

But speak of the devil, and your husband came back to the living room with a pencil in his hand and a smile on his face that was identical to the one worn by your son. 

James spun the pencil in between his fingers and bent down closer to your kids’ height. “So, who wants to go first?”

Harry eagerly raised his hand and stood up as tall as he could manage with his feet fully on the ground, and James pencilled a line under Harry’s name and age right beside his head. 

“Look at that, mate.” Your husband announced, pointing to the door frame. “You’re almost exactly my height from when I was your age. Just a little taller, see?”

That news seemed to have made Harry’s whole day. He did an adorable happy dance and you helped Ivy clap her tiny hands in support of her brother’s big achievement. 

“You were right!” Harry told you. “You said I was growing so fast!”

Before you could say anything in response, your husband spoke up. “Your mama’s always right, Haz. Don’t ever forget that.” He punctuated his sentence with a wink in your direction, and you blew him a kiss in return. 

Then James leaned down and invited Ivy over to where Harry was just standing. “Come on, little lady, it’s your turn.”

Ivy stood up against the wall, imitating her brother in her stance, and smiling wide even though she didn’t totally understand what was going on. 

You did promise James you weren’t going to cry, but you were definitely about to break that promise. 

[thatdammchickennugget]

Hi! Could i request a Remus x fem reader, where the Marauders make a bet on who can stay handcuffed together for longer and Remus and reader get paired up, they constantly get into awkward and funny situations together.

You Bet

pairing - remus lupin x gn!reader

summary - remus and you find yourselves handcuffed together as a result of a bet against james and sirius. the mischievous duo thought it would be a hilarious prank, but little did they know it would bring you and remus closer than ever

warnings - handcuffs (not sexual), fluff

wordcount - 2.3k

a/n - thank you so much for the request love <3 sorry this took so long, I started writing it, didn't like what I had written and then let it sit in my docs for weeks :/ but here you go, hope it's what you had in mind <3

James and Sirius entering a room cackling was never a good sign. Especially when they were trying to hide their laughter behind the closed fists pressed to their mouths, which could only mean that in the moment, they were laughing at your expense. There would be no reason to try and hide their amusement otherwise.

Remus had seemingly picked up on this as well, sitting up on the sofa next to you and putting down his book to muster the two troublemakers in question. “What are you up to?” he questioned with squinted eyes but his query was ignored.

James threw himself down on the cushions beside you, his elbow stabbing into your side in the process. In place of an apology, he leaned over to leave a smooch on your cheek. The mischievous glint in his eyes brought your attention back to the situation at hand. “Remus is right, you’re definitely up to something. You look way too pleased with yourselves right now.”

“Well, we are pleased. Because we just came up with an awesome idea!” Sirius proclaimed, arms behind his back as he took a seat on the coffee table in front of the sofa.

“And what idea would that be?” you questioned further, rolling your eyes at their dramatics. Why could they not just come out with it like normal people for once?

“Do you remember our little argument from last week? The one at the party after the quidditch match?” Sirius asked you with a smirk and went on when you nodded hesitantly. “We know how to test out who was right.”

You remembered the argument faintly, if you could even call it that. It was more of a small disagreement and had only gone on as long as it did because both you and Sirius had indulged in more than just a couple drinks that night.

James and Sirius had proudly stated that they were the greatest pair of best friends Hogwarts had ever seen, which offended you greatly and you quickly argued that Remus and you should get first place. The rest of your friends had been split, none of them agreeing or taking a side, which resulted in Sirius and you bickering back and forth about the topic for the rest of the night, Remus just shaking his head from where he was perched on the armrest of your armchair with his arm lazily placed on your shoulder.

“And how are you going to test it?” Your question caused the two to share a look, grins quickly spreading across their faces.

“Y/n. My dear friend. I specifically remember you saying that if James and I would spend any more time together, someone would end up expelled or dead,” Sirius went on, confusing you because you did not remember saying that. “But we believe we would be perfectly fine. You and Remus, however, could not even survive 24 hours of constantly being around each other.”

He might have a point there. Remus greatly enjoyed his alone time and regularly needed to be by himself for a couple of hours to recharge and you always embraced these moments with open arms, as they gave you the chance to let yourself sort through all the not-so-platonic feelings for your best friend you had been experiencing lately. Of course, you would never admit that to Sirius.

“I might have said that. But what does that have to do with anything?”

Sirius finally pulled his arms from behind his back in response, stretching them towards you, showing off the metal handcuffs he had been hiding the whole time. Your eyes widened slightly at the sight of them. “Where did you even get those?”

“I could tell you, but then I’d have to kill you,” Sirius said flatly, before brightening up again. “Anyways, they’re charmed to stay on until we have a clear winner. Once a pair can’t stand being attached to each other anymore, the other’s cuffs will open up and we’ll know for sure.”

You exchanged an unsure glance with Remus, before glaring at Sirius. “We don’t have to prove ourselves. And I’m not up for your bullshit if all I get out if it is bragging rights.”

“Ah, I had a hunch you would say that,” James snickered, sitting up. “That’s why the winners will get a favour from the other two. It can be anything you want. And I’ll even go as far and throw in 20 galleons worth of chocolate from Honey Duke’s to make the deal a little sweeter for our Moony.”

You looked over your shoulder to see what Remus was thinking about this and he just shrugged his shoulders. He would do whatever you wanted him to do. “Okay Black. We have a deal.”

₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

As you sat at the dinner table, your mind couldn't help but wander. Being handcuffed to Remus was proving to be more challenging than you had anticipated, especially considering the secret crush you harboured for him since second year.

Every moment spent in this close proximity only fueled your feelings further, making it increasingly difficult to focus on anything else. Sure, the two of you had always been close and affectionate towards each other, but knowing that you could not easily step away to gather your thoughts if it got too much was kind of terrifying. 

The first problem you ran into was actually eating your dinner. Every time you tried to use your left hand to cut something on your plate, Remus was about to lift his fork to his mouth with his right. It resulted in a lot of food ending up on the floor and a spilled cup of pumpkin juice.

James and Sirius were still confident they would win, making a big show out of feeding each other. Trying to ignore their antics, Remus and you decided to take turns eating. And being the good friend he was, it was your turn first.

As you took your turn to eat, you found yourself stealing glances at Remus, admiring his features, your gaze running along the scar beneath his eye, you became more and more aware of his presence looming next to you, so much closer than normal. Every accidental brush of your hands or shared laughter felt like a sweet torture, stirring up a mix of excitement and nervousness within you.

Trying to hide your growing nerves, you focused on the food in front of you. It was a delicious plate of roasted chicken with savoury sides, but your appetite seemed to have disappeared along with your ability to concentrate. The clinking of the handcuffs against the table kept reminding you of your predicament, a constant reminder of your tangled situation.

As you attempted to cut into your chicken, your movements felt clumsy and awkward. With each failed attempt, a blush crept up your cheeks, aware that your friends were witnessing your struggle. Your heart rate picked up, noticing the knowing grin growing on James' face. 

The spectacled boy was well aware of the feelings you harboured for the scarred boy sitting beside you. The mischievous glint in James' eyes made you almost as nervous as the feeling of Remus's thigh brushing up against yours, afraid about what could be coming out of his mouth.

But Remus, being the understanding friend he was, tried to ease your discomfort. He encouraged you with a warm smile and supportive words, assuring you that it was just a temporary challenge. His kindness only intensified your feelings, making you long for a different kind of connection once again.

Deep down, you wished that the handcuffs weren't a part of some silly bet but rather a catalyst for revealing your true emotions. You yearned for the courage to confess your feelings, but the fear of rejection and the uncertain consequences held you back.

As dinner continued, you and Remus navigated the meal with a combination of shared laughter, understanding glances, and occasional moments of embarrassment. 

₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

After dinner, you and the group of Gryffindors navigated your way into the common room. Entering the room last left only one seat left on the couch, and you stopped in your tracks. Remus did not notice you stopping at first, accidentally pulling you along with him. When he noticed your reluctance, he turned to face you, his brows raised in question.

"Where are we going to sit?" you asked, nodding towards the already crowded couch.

He just mentioned towards the small space left unoccupied, fondly rolling his eyes. "Right there?"

"But there's not enough space for both of us. Maybe we can just sit on the floor?" Your face was already heating up again.

Remus playfully pulled you along, sitting down next to Sirius and pulling you onto his lap without any hesitation, causing laughter to fill the room. Your cheeks were burning by now and James teasingly smirking in your direction was not helping.

Soon, your predicament was forgotten as you got comfortable, embracing Remus' warmth against your back. Sirius was challenged to a round of exploding snap by Marlene and the growing frustration at one of his arms being rendered useless was evident on his face.

Amidst the jovial atmosphere, you engaged in light-hearted banter with James, Lily, and Mary. Jokes and witty remarks flew back and forth, adding to the delightful ambiance. The air was filled with laughter and camaraderie as you all shared the amusing predicament you found yourselves in.

Eventually, Remus settled into a comfortable position, retrieving a book from his bag, resting it on your thigh as he started reading. You could not help but be drawn to the sight of him engrossed in the pages, the way his eyes softened as they flew over the words. It felt like a serene moment amid the cheerful chaos.

Seizing the opportunity to share this intimate moment, you snuggled closer, resting your head against Remus's chest. With the book held between you both, you followed along silently, feeling the rhythmic rise and fall of his chest. The world around you seemed to fade away, leaving only the two of you engrossed in the story.

₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

When it was finally time to retire to bed, you follow the boys to their dorm room, feeling a mix of awkwardness and anticipation. The challenge lies in figuring out how to sleep with the handcuffs and the nervousness of sharing a bed with Remus.

Inside the dorm room, you and Remus exchange unsure glances, uncertain of how to navigate the situation. The room is dimly lit, casting a soft glow on the surroundings. As you both settle onto the bed, you realise the closeness between you is both exhilarating and nerve-wracking.

With the handcuffs restraining your movement, you exchange sheepish smiles, contemplating the best way to sleep. Remus, with a gentle and understanding demeanour, suggests lying on your sides, facing each other. It's an unconventional arrangement, but it allows for a level of intimacy that sends a shiver down your spine.

As you lie facing Remus, your heart beats a little faster, unsure of what the night may hold. Closing your eyes, you try to focus on the sounds of your friends breathing as they fell asleep. But with the feeling of Remus' breath hitting your forehead and your hyper awareness of every single one of his movements beneath the shared blanket, you found yourself unable to drift off to sleep.

You were sure Sirius and James were long passed out, considering the loud snoring coming from their side of the room. In this vulnerable moment, Remus's whisper breaks the silence. "Are you awake?"

You hear his voice clearly even though he is being quiet, his face only inches from yours. His breathing is still slow and steady, so you nod in response, not fully trusting your voice as you opened your eyes to find him already looking at you, the moonlight falling in through the window reflecting in his eyes.

His eyes flicker over your face, scanning, as if looking for something. His gaze then lingers on your mouth briefly before returning to your eyes. You wondered if it had really just happened or if you had fallen asleep after all, your subconscious mind dreaming up the affection written over his face. 

He looks back and forth between your eyes and lips again, before leaning forward slightly and pressing his lips softly to yours. Your heart begins to race with excitement, which quickly morphs into butterflies in your stomach. As many times as you had imagined this moment, nothing had even come close to what you were feeling right now, your body warm with desire.

He pulls away first, leaving you breathless as he rests his forehead against yours, a faint smile on his lips. Your fingers find their way up to trace his features, coming to rest on his cheek, fingers lightly tracing the scar you had been admiring earlier that night.

He laughs lightly, a low rumbling sound echoing through the otherwise silent dorm room. It’s lighthearted and endearing, and makes your heart skip a beat. “Was that alright?”

“Yeah. That was perfect,” you mutter in a hushed tone.

Overwhelmed with emotions, you reach out your other hand, and cup Remus's face. The connection between you deepens, and without hesitation, you share another tender, heartfelt kiss. The world outside fades away, leaving only the two of you, locked in this intimate moment.

Unbeknownst to you, James, unable to sleep with Sirius's constant snoring, finds himself frustrated in his own bed. In an impulsive act, he kicks Sirius, causing the other boy to tumble out of the bed they shared.

Sirius awakes with a startled yelp, finding himself face down on the carpet. A quiet clicking sound caught your attention and you felt the handcuff around your wrist loosen. Sitting up to grin at Sirius still sprawled out on the floor, you hold up the handcuffs triumphantly. "Looks like we won the bet."

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[moonstruckme]

omg ok idea! James or Sirius with a gf whose chatty but just not super crass and May be she comes home drunk from girl's night and is just openly trying to seduce him and he's just so taken aback like who is this person?!

Thanks for requesting!

cw: intoxication, dubious consent but nothing more than kissing

Sirius Black x fem!reader ♡ 717 words

Sirius has never received such determined kisses in his life. 

He turns his lips from yours, smearing them over your brow in consolation when you make a piteous, dejected sound he’s going to pretend for your benefit isn’t hilarious. You keep planting kisses on his jaw, his neck. Sirius catches your wrists in his hands when you start pulling up the hem of his shirt. 

“Hey, hey,” he laughs. “What happened to ‘hello’? Is this how we greet each other now, sweetness?” 

The kisses had begun the second he’d shut the door on your friends. They’d chatted for a minute before that, and you’d had this strange smile on your face as you waited for them to go. At the time, Sirius had chalked it up to your obvious inebriation, but now he knows it for depravity. 

“Preferably,” you mumble, mouth busy with the bits of chest you can get at by pulling down the collar of his shirt. Sirius isn’t sure whether you can’t stand on your own or whether you’ve just decided pressing yourself fully against him is the way to go. Any other time, he really wouldn’t be opposed. 

“What’s gotten into you?” he asks, delighted and exercising every ounce of self restraint in his battered soul to keep from kissing you back. He starts pulling you towards the couch, your uncoordinated feet following behind. 

You pause in your ravishment to grin up at him. You look positively impish. “Like, d’you want a list?” 

Sirius laughs, astonished. “What happened to my shy girl? Were you freaky fridayed by someone in the club?” 

“Freaky fridayed in the club.” You snort, flopping down onto the couch when he does and immediately getting into his lap. “That could mean lots of things.” 

Sirius feels a tug on his mouth. “Such as?” 

You bury your head in his neck, voice vibrating against his skin. “It’d make a good band name.” 

“It might,” he agrees, taking your face between both hands and removing you from him like a leech. A very pretty, beloved leech. “Do you feel like it might be time for bed, lovebug?” 

Your eyes spark. “Yeah,” you say heartily. 

“To sleep,” he clarifies. 

“Oh.” Your face falls. “Well, no. I thought we could have sex first.” 

Sirius guffaws, the sound short and loud, and his amusement really only worsens when you frown sullenly.

“Baby,” he tries gentling his tone, “I would love that, but you know why we can’t.” 

“Why?” you ask obstinately. 

Sirius pushes his thumbs into your cheeks, making wishful dimples on either side of your frown. “Because of what’s gotten into you.” 

“But I want to,” you whine. 

He pouts right back at you. “Me too, darling. It’s a tragedy.” 

“Not even a kiss?” you ask, tilting your head in his hands and looking up at him with huge, sweet eyes. Have you been able to do that this whole time? Fuck, he’s lucky you’re not often feeling bold enough to use it. 

“I could do a kiss,” he concedes. 

“A nice one,” you demand.

Sirius feels his lips pull up. “Agreed. A nice one.” 

You close your eyes, expectant, and he bends towards you, pressing his lips to yours sweetly. You taste like all manner of booze, but still his girl. You make a soft sound in your throat, lips parting for his, coaxing him in. In an extraordinary show of willpower, Sirius pulls away. 

“Hey.” You look betrayed, and he can’t help himself, planting a quick peck on your nose that makes it scrunch adorably. “You said it’d be a nice one!”

“That felt pretty nice to me,” he says, laughing when you try to move in for more and he has to dodge you. He turns his head to the side and catches at your hands when they go for his shirt. “That’s it for tonight. If you want more kisses tomorrow, I promise to let you have as many as you like.” 

You sigh, giving up and hooking your chin on his shoulder. “Your lips were, like, buzzing,” you mumble, wistful. “It was nice.” 

“Pretty sure that’s just you, sweetness,” Sirius tells you kindly, breaking his promise once more to press his lips to your hair. “Ready for bed now?”

“To sleep?” you ask despondently. 

“Yeah, baby. To sleep.”

[lizard-on-a-window-pane]

The Perfect Hat-Trick

pairing: James Potter x reader

summary: James is watching a football match with you and has some good ideas for how to spend the half-time break. Smut ensues. 

tags / warnings: NSFW (minors do not interact), established relationship, smut, fem!reader, fingering, eating out, p in v, pretty much no plot, sports talk

notes: finally had time to write! inspired by recent world cup fever...

word count: 2.3k

You lay on the sofa in yours and James’s flat, your legs draped over his, the telly on. 

“That’s a foul? He hardly even touched him.” “Yeah, well, it wasn’t a clean tackle. I know the other guy’s selling it, but it did make him fall down.” “Pfft. We don’t have this problem. You dive, you plummet 50 meters to the ground,” he laughed. 

You rolled your eyes at him but laughed a little. It was nice of him to be watching with you in the first place. James loved sports, but he never really could get into your muggle ones. Too low stakes, he reckoned. 

But, it was the World Cup, and he knew how excited you were, the tournament only coming around every four years. That part he could understand, having had his fair share of World Cup fever growing up, just for a much better sport, he never failed to remind you. You loved quidditch, too, of course, had even shared the pitch with him back at Hogwarts, but that had never made you stop loving what you’d love since before even finding out you were a witch. 

James would watch the occasional match with you, a bit begrudgingly, but he loved making you happy. And if he was being honest, he found it adorable how excited or angry you’d get when the match did or didn’t go your way. 

He was rewarded with just one of those precious moments when your team, your favorite player no less, scored a goal. It was just before half-time and his second goal of the match. You yelped and cheered, springing up from the sofa. When you came to sit back down, a love-stricken grinning James looking up at you, you opted to keep your excitement up by straddling and hugging him, still bouncing up and down a bit in celebration. 

You beamed down at his close face, energetically saying, “That’s his second! And it was a header! Maybe he’ll get a perfect hat-trick!” “A what?” “A perfect hat-trick.” He continued to stare blankly at you, a jokingly annoyed look. 

“Do you know what a hat-trick is?” you continued.

“I dunno… spinning it around before putting it on your head?” 

“Hilarious.” 

“Oh, I’m so sorry my humour isn’t up to scratch,” he laughed. His hands came around your hips, pulling you closer on his lap. “So are you gonna tell me what it is or not, sweet thing? Because, honestly, I’m fine either way.” His laugh was contagious, and you were smiling down at him, your arms around his neck as you answered, “You’re so annoying… A hat-trick is when a player scores three goals in one match. A perfect hat-trick,” you went on, “is when a player scores one with their left foot,” you kissed his left cheek, “one with their right,” kissed his right, “and one with their head,” kissed his forehead. 

“Mmm, I see. Thanks for explaining it to me, sweetheart.” He bumped his nose against yours then gave it a quick peck. 

“You’re welcome,” you responded giggling a bit. 

You heard the whistle announcing the end of the first half from the telly behind you. 

“You know,” he whispered. “I’ve always liked a challenge.” “Oh yeah?” “Mhmm. I think,” he pecked your lips, “I can score three times before the start of the second half,” he kissed you again, lingering this time. “And…” he whispered, “I reckon I can make it a perfect hat-trick.”  

His smile was equal parts devious and suggestive. Your grin remained — he always kept you amused — but your brows furrowed, not quite following. 

“One with my fingers,” he kissed your cheek, “one with my tongue,” kissed your other cheek, “one with my cock,” kissed your forehead. He laughed, clearly amused with himself, but it was soon stifled as he kissed along your jaw, making his way to your neck, his open mouthed kissed and nibbles drawing a moan out of you. 

You ground down on his lap, pleasure shooting up from your core at the friction. You moaned even louder, and you could feel the vibrations of James’s laugh in the crook of your neck. His hands moved from your hips to knead your arse then came under your shirt, giving you a loving squeeze before pulling it up and over your head. You quickly took his glasses off, placing them on top of your now discarded shirt.

He pulled back from your body to stare at your bra-clad tits, groaning appreciatively, his enthusiasm boyish but utterly endearing. His hands went to unclasp your bra, but before even getting it off, his face was already between your tits, kissing the soft flesh between them, nuzzling and nibbling you. You laughed at how unfailingly he loved your chest, even after so long together, and brought your hand up to scratch his scalp and tug his dark hair. 

“This is my favorite place on Earth,” he said into your chest, squeezing it playfully  with his big hands before moving to suck on your nipple. 

His face and mouth still loving on your boobs, he raked his hands down your body, one grabbing your arse again, the other cupping between your legs. His palm pressed perfectly on your pussy as he licked from your chest, up your sternum and neck, and into your mouth. You welcomed his tongue with yours and helped him pull your trousers off, shifting awkwardly on his lap without ever breaking apart. Even though you were making out, you were both giggling giddily.

Pulling your panties to the side, rubbing your increasingly wet folds, James laughed out, “You see? I’m already past the defenders.” “For fuck’s sake, Potter, you already got in my pants; you don’t need to keep up the football jokes.” “What can I say? I’m funny and effortlessly charming all the time, not just when I’m trying to get in your pants, love.” You rolled your eyes, smacked his shoulder, but dove back down to keep kissing him as he finally plunged his long fingers into your weeping cunt. 

“Fuck, Jamie, feels so good,” you praised, as he curved his fingers just right, setting a teasing but pleasing pace. You followed it with your hips, increasing the warm tingling sensations taking over your whole lower body. 

“That’s it, love,” he whispered, still playful but his voice lower, hoarse and hot as hell. 

He picked up the pace, brought his other hand to your clit, and moved to suck the sensitive spot behind your ear. You could feel your climax approaching, grinding faster and harder to let him know, to chase the feeling you so craved. He followed your lead, thrusting as deep as he could reach, rubbing tighter circles, still precise in his motions, and soon enough, you let out a prolonged, “aaah,” as you came, clutching his shoulder with one hand, his hair with the other. Your sounds turned into giggles as his hands continued, slower now, gentle, as you rode out the pleasant aftershocks. “That’s one.” He looked quite proud of himself. 

“Three’s much more than one; give me that smirk after three,” you shot back. 

“Gladly.” He wrapped his arms around you, and in one quick motion moved you from his lap to the couch. He shifted to hover above you, looking down with such love in his eyes you couldn’t help but interrupt the playfulness and the seductiveness with a gentle caress of his cheek. He leaned into it, turning his head to kiss your palm, his eyes never leaving yours. 

“You’re so unreasonably beautiful, you know that?”

“So are you,” you responded, voice sweet as honey. 

He smiled like it was the kindest compliment he had ever received and leaned down to kiss you fervently. One hand roaming your body roughly, one hand holding your face gently, James kissed you with all the love bodies could express. 

Slowly, teasingly, he moved away from your mouth, kissing your face and neck, moving back to your mouth a moment before kissing back down a bit further. He repeated this a few times, moving lower each time, until he continued down your body, unsurprisingly but so gratifyingly taking his time at your tits. Then, lower, lower, until he was licking up your bikini line. He nuzzled your cunt, but didn’t do more as he moved his face across it to do the same on the other side. 

You were aching by now, thrusting your hips up into his face unthinkingly. You thought he’d make a joke about how needy you were, but when you were met with a groan instead, you snuck a glance down at him and met a hungry stare, his hair an even worse mess than usual, his eyes lidded, his lips swollen and wet. He was completely engrossed in you, his desire overwhelming even his perpetually playful attitude. 

Without any more ado, he pushed his face into your cunt and ate you out like a starving man. His mouth worked expertly, his tongue moving in and out of you before licking up to your clit then moving down again to lap at your entrance and then to suck on your folds. He had a sixth sense for knowing when to build a repetitive rhythm and when to switch it up.

“James,” you hissed, your second orgasm building faster than the last, faster even than it usually did when he ate you out. “Please don’t stop, please don’t stop.” The vibrations from his half-moaned, “uh-uh,” shot through you like a jolt as you screamed in pleasure. He shook his head from side to side quickly to intensify your orgasm, and when you finished and he pulled back, his entire face was covered in you. 

You returned his adoring smile before dropping your head back onto the cushion, elated but spent. “You’re so fucking good at that,” you said.

“You’re so fucking delicious,” he responded, kissing all over your cunt and thighs before coming back up to your face. His body covered yours, his prominent bulge pressing into you. “I think you’re wearing far too many clothes,” you scolded, and he quickly pulled his shirt over his head and his trousers down his legs, struggling to kick them off entirely as you giggled from below him. “Much better,” you told him as you wrapped your arms and legs around him and reveled in the feeling of his body on your body, his skin on your skin. 

You continued making out like this, holding and kissing each other, till you pulled back, gesturing at the telly with a nod of your head, teasing, “you’re running out of time for that hat-trick, Potter.” “I’m not worried,” he smirked back at you as he thrust his hips into yours. You were so sensitive from everything that had happened already that just that friction felt incredible. He brought a hand down to guide himself into you, and your groans matched each other’s as he took his time bottoming out. 

“Fuck,” he whispered, his face incredibly close to yours, his cock now buried deep inside you. He kissed you once before moving his face to the crook of your neck, focusing on his hips as he began thrusting in and out of you. He started slow, savoring the sensation, dragging out achingly before pounding back in roughly. Gradually going faster, his grip on your thigh tightened and he bit down on your shoulder on a particularly hard thrust, the pleasure clearly becoming too much for him as well. You held him close and met his thrusts, and moments later, all teasing was forgotten as all that was left was skin was slapping against skin, passion being expressed physically as he pounded into you. 

His groans grew louder as his climax approached, but he slowed down slightly, determined to make you cum before he did. He brought his hand down between you, rubbing your clit as he sucked on your neck. It didn’t take much for you to be on the edge, and a couple hard thrusts later,  you moaned in exquisite pleasure as your third orgasm hit. 

“Jamie,” you whined as your thighs started shaking and his thrusts grew increasingly volatile. 

“Fuck,” he repeated as he thrust as deep as possible over and over. You felt him start losing control, and the sensations of him hitting  all your most sensitive spots went from a bit too much in your oversensitive state to an exhilarating perfect mix of pain and pleasure. You chased the feeling, and moments later you were clenching vice-like around him and pulling him closer as you whined and groaned through a fourth.

This brought him to his completion, and your pleasure peaked as you felt him release inside you. Your walls still fluttering around him, his thrusts now sloppy, he exerted his last bit of energy then collapsed on top of you in utter bliss.

The whistle announcing the start of the second half cut through the thumping of your rapid heart beat in your ears as you lay entwined with each other. You both laughed through heavy breathing.

“Just in time,” James said. “And with one more than promised, no less.” He winked cheekily. “Pretty good performance, Potter. I think I’ll keep you around.” “And I’ll stay for as long as you’ll have me,” he said sweetly, sincerely.

You kissed him gently, caressing his face as you whispered, “I’m glad you like a challenge then because that sounds like forever to me.”

“Sounds brilliant.” You nodded brightly before pushing on his shoulders and saying, “But for now, get off me or we’ll miss the second half.”

“Fine,” he chuckled, “but I’ll only get off if your clothes stay off.” He leaned down to place a kiss on each of your tits before pecking your lips and smiling his mischievous smile you so loved. 

“Deal.”

[ashleigghh]

Day 29- Star- Jegulus and Harry, 555 words

“There is your Uncle Sirius,” Regulus leans on the doorframe to the balcony, watching James hold their son tightly in his lap, the two of them looking at the sky where James was pointing, matching expressions on their faces. 

“And here is the most beautiful star of all,” James speaks quietly, adjusting his hand to point at the correct star, “Your Papa’s star, Regulus, the heart of the lion,”  James makes a roaring sound tickling Harry, who giggles and squirms in his grip, before settling back down to listen to James.

“It can be seen nearly the whole year, apart from a couple months where it’s spending some time close to the sun, which means we can’t see it at night,” James explains, and Regulus’ heart warms, he not only listened to his late-night rambles about the stars but went on to memorise the fact and share them with their son. 

“Why can’t he stay here?” Harry frowns as if this means Regulus has to go away for months every year and James laughs lightly, kissing the top of Harry’s head before pinching his cheek gently to get him to smile again.

“Your Papa stays here with us but the star, he has to spend time working to light up the night sky so he gets some time off to visit the one he loves, the sun.” Harry nods, understanding the story and making a connection, 

“Is that why Papa calls you his sun and you call him your star?” Harry giggles, finding it hilarious and it takes everything in Regulus to not go and scoop his son in his arms and hug him tight. 

“Exactly little genius,” James teases with a grin, making Harry laugh again, “it’s like how your Papa has to work during the day but comes home to us at night and then spends the holidays with us, does that make sense?” 

Harry hums, looking exactly like his mother when she’s thinking something through before he nods and turns into James so he can rest his head on James’ chest while he looks up at the sky. James holds him tightly, slightly cautious about the edge of the balcony even though Harry wouldn’t be able to get over the railing and looks down at him, 

“Are you tired? Do you want to go back inside?” Harry shakes his head but even from his place in the doorway, Regulus can see his drooping eyes and limpening neck. 

“Want to look at Papa’s star,” Harry  mumbles, snuggling into James' chest as he dozes off. Regulus makes his way into Harry’s room, picking up a teddy and a blanket before returning to the balcony, walking forward and passing the toy to Harry, who blindly takes it in the first dregs of slumber, clutching it close to his chest, 

“Hey,” James smiles up at his husband as Regulus tucks the blanket over Harry’s shoulders, 

“Hey,” Regulus whispers, not wanting to disturb Harry, and smiles back softly. 

“How much did you hear?” James grins, standing up carefully to carry Harry to his bedroom. 

“Apparently I’m the most beautiful star of all,” Regulus teases, walking away and leaving James to follow him down the hall to tuck their son into bed, admiring the life they’ve built together and the love he once never would’ve believed he deserved.

[tiredofthehumanlife]

Realizations

Barbie dolls: Jegulus x gn!reader

Summary: you and James are dating and then Sirius introduces regulus and now you both are crushing

Warnings: James gets called a whore not during sex, James wears crop tops?, Regulus kinda makes James feel bad about his shirt, trans Reggie? Is that a warning?, regulus is strange for sure, mentions of sex and arousal but like its ovulation week so what were you expecting, idk James wears bell bottoms, ITS NOT THAT CRAZY GUYS

Word count: 2.8k-ish

You loved Sirius. He was hilarious, one of the most caring and stylish people you’ve ever met. So when Sirius told you all he was going to properly introduce everyone to his little brother, Regulus, you were excited. When Sirius pulled the boy into the room with all your friends you started to understand why Sirius seemed hesitant at first. First, his brother was a bit of a bitch. Second, fuck he was hot.

You loved James. So much. He was an amazing boyfriend, an amazing person. James was your best friend who you also happened to love fucking. Not the point, point is you felt incredibly guilty finding Regulus attractive. Not only was he Sirius’ little brother, you were sitting in the same room as your boyfriend. You looked to James, you wanted to see his reaction to Regulus calling you all “a bunch of stupid dickheads.” When you looked to him, he was already looking at you. James was sporting your same blush. He mouthed wow before looking back to Sirius. Sirius was telling Regulus to be more friendly. Regulus told Sirius to shove it up his ass. At the mention of Sirius’ ass, Remus was suddenly stuttering over his words. Peter glared at Remus.

“Merlin, try to pull yourself together moony.” Peter muttered. It was funny and you would’ve laughed if you weren’t trying your hardest to not check out your friend’s younger brother in front of your spectacular boyfriend. James had stayed entirely silent this whole time. You stared at him. His eyes were wide, his cheeks were flushed, his lips were tightly pressed together. You knew the look. You’d seen it before, when James met you the first time.

You met Lovely Lily and Ravishing Remus first. You all had a study group together. Though the studying slowly started to decline as you three started gossiping more and more. They started to talk about their ever growing friend group more and more. They decided keeping you to themselves was just plain unfair, so they introduced you to their other friends. Sirius seemed a little mean, glaring at you the whole time Remus and Lily shared your name. The second you complimented his leather jacket, Sirius was beaming. Peter seemed to be ignoring you, fully focused in his homework. The next time you met him, he had no work in front of him. You warmed up to Peter quickly after that. You had first avoided James’ eyes because he seemed to be intimidating. He was just sat there on the ground staring up at you and you thought he was amping up to insult you. When you finally looked at him you realized you have just met a man with absolutely nothing behind his eyes. His jaw was slack and he was just staring up at you. Lily reached out and gently closed James’ jaw for him. He finally sat up straight, greeting you with a large smile. You nodded awkwardly. James pressed his lips together, trying to stop himself from saying something to stupid. His eyes were bugged out and his ears were turning red. Now James was giving Regulus the same look.

You honestly weren’t upset he was into Regulus, because you were too. Clearly, you needed to have a private conversion with James about this later. You did. You both liked him, and now you had to figure out how to handle this. Do you both flirt with your friend’s brother? Do you pretend like nothing is going on? You really didn’t want to scare poor Regulus away. You both knew how hard it must’ve been for him to meet his brother’s friends. It would just be so strange and uncomfortable if half your older brother’s friends started flirting with you the day after you met them. So, you both decided you’d give him time to get comfortable with all of you before either of you said anything to Regulus.

Months later Regulus was like he’d been with you all since day one. He jokingly made fun of everyone, making his own inside jokes with you all, and he’d join in on pranks and plans. Sirius was quite happy he got time to make his bond with Regulus stronger. Remus got another person who loved to gossip. Peter got a friend who loved history as much as he did. Lily got someone to share her younger sibling trauma with. You and James got a lovely friend who was so funny and mean to you both. He hated you guys. You both loved it. You’d throw insults back and forth all the while a grin plastered on your face. Next to you both James would be sat there with his lovesick eyes and soft smile. His eyes bouncing between you both as Regulus threatened to torture you horrifically, only for you to continue flirting with him. James would be grinning brightly, so happy he got to watch the two hottest people in Hogwarts try to kill each other.

When you and James caught a glimpse of Regulus sitting across the Library while on your study date, you turned to each other. You shared a knowing look, closing your books and making your way over to him without a word. The second you slipped into the seat in front of Regulus, he sighed deeply.

“And I thought my day was going well.” Regulus muttered, keeping his eyes on the journal he was scribbling in. James stood next to you, already smiling.

‘Awe come on Reggie, you love us.” You countered, resting your head on your palm. Regulus glanced up at you. Regulus bit onto the end of his fountain pen as he looked over you and James. You dropped your gaze to his lips. The pen pushing down on his bottom lip making it look extra kissable. Your eyes trailed down the pen, seeing his initials engraved with silver.

Sirius gave it to him after he came out. You remember because Sirius came to you with zero context just blurting out ‘how does one love a trans man?’ After a long few minutes of you staring blankly at Sirius, he explained the situation further. You had seen Regulus sitting in various odd positions and places, writing away. You noticed how he had to balance an ink pot in one hand and write with the other, so all you could come up with as a coming out gift was a pen. Although Sirius told you it made Regulus cry and you’ve never seen Regulus without it. You’re glad Sirius got all the credit.

Your gaze followed down to his hand gently holding onto the pen. His rings were always attractive, it wasn’t just you. James thought so too. Regulus kept rubbing his finger over the small ring of silver near the tip of his pen. You shouldn’t have found it hot. It was though. James rested his hand on your shoulder, gently squeezing it to say ‘i know right?’ You met Regulus’ eyes again to see him looking you up and down. His eyes flickered over to gazing over James’ body. James had found the magic of crop tops a few weeks back and now any chance he got his was showing off his happy trail in a shirt with some phrase like ‘I love milfs’ or ‘eat your girl out or I will’. You loved them, you didn’t love all the detentions he got from getting dress coded. You felt it was a fair trade. Regulus’ eyes snagged on his happy trail. Regulus poked the inside of his cheek with his tongue. He suddenly sat up straight and schooled his features, meeting your eyes again. You gave him a knowing smile.

“If you consider wanting to partake in homicide love, then yes. I do.” You smiled at him letting out an awe. You shared a look with James. You reached out, hooking your finger in the belt loop of his bell bottomed pants. You tugged James closer and winked up at him.

“You hear that, Jamie? He loves us. We love you too Reggie.” Regulus rolled his eyes. He turned back to his journal. You leaned over the table, peeking at his writing. Regulus slammed his journal shut. He slowly slid it across the table, hiding it in his lap.

“What are you writing?” You tapped Regulus’ hand on the table. He didn’t move his hand away, nor did he wipe it.

“Is it dirty?” James added in. You both turned to him, giving him a confused look. James look between your faces. He pressed his lips together.

“I’d call you a whore-“ Regulus started.

“Oh please do.” You smirked. Regulus ignored you continuing with his sentence.

“But I think you’d like it too much. Potter have you ever heard of a shirt? You put your arms through it? Covers your torso? Not ringing a bell, or did you leave your brain at home?” James looked down at his shirt, frowning at it. He pulled at the hem.

“What’s wrong with my shirt?” He sounded like a kicked puppy. You quickly reached out, rubbing his thigh.

“Nothing baby it’s so cute.”

“You mean aside from it breaking half of dress code?” Regulus said, talking over you.

“Do you not like my tummy, Reg?” You grimaced turning to James.

“Don’t say tummy.” You and Regulus said, in sync. You glanced over to him. You shared an understanding look before smiling softly at James. His shoulders had slumped a little since the start of the conversation. You stood up. You rubbed your hand up and down James’ arm, kissing his cheek.

“See you later, Regulus.” You whispered, gently tugging your boyfriend away.

“I hope not.”

You and James carried on like usual, following your usual routines and date nights. Only difference was Regulus seemed to appear more and more. You never asked him to join you guys or tell him to meet you, he just kind of showed up. You and James had planned date nights on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Weekends were anybody’s game or makeup time for a missed date but Tuesdays and Thursdays were pretty regular for you two. Date nights meant anything from passing out on the floor of the common room to breaking more rules than you liked to. Though it didn’t seem to matter what you two were doing because Regulus appeared near you. If you were sitting by the Black Lake just to relax in each other’s presence you’d catch a glimpse of Regulus’ hair across the lake. You’d both stand up to wave to him, if he did notice he never waved back. If you were lying in the courtyard napping in the sun, you’d roll over to see Regulus under a tree not far from you. You’d drag James up and lay back down next to Regulus. If you were having a study date in the Library you’d see Regulus walk past with a tall stack of books. You’d pull James up by his arm, following after Regulus. You’d all share the same table with Regulus pretending he didn’t notice either of you. No matter what he was somewhere near you and James. So you’d include him, obviously. It’d be awkward if you didn’t. You started to think that maybe this wasn’t all coincidence when you saw Regulus showed up in the Gryffindor commonroom, hunched over his journal like usual. His shoes were placed on the floor next to the end of the couch. Regulus was sitting to the side his back pressed to the armrest with his knees pulled to his chest.

“Hey Reg, what are you doing here?” You asked. James scoffed behind you. You glanced at him and grimaced, realizing it sounded kinda mean. Regulus looked up from his book, biting the top of his pen again. He raised an eyebrow at you.

“Well fuck you too then.” He muttered. You rolled your eyes, sitting down next to him. Regulus tucked his socked feet under your thigh. You knew he ran cold, you were actually secretly making him a sweater for his birthday. You wouldn’t dare tell him that though because A: it would ruin the surprise and B: he’d get all ‘no you shouldn’t have. I don’t deserve this’. He’s all traumatized like that, so you kept it quiet. Only person who knew was James. James laid down on the couch, dangling his legs over the armrest and throwing his head in your lap.

“I didn’t mean it like that, Regulus. You know I love your company. I was just confused because I don’t think you know the password.” You stared at Regulus, hoping he’d show you somehow that he wasn’t truly hurt by it. Regulus stared at you with his blue eyes. Both of the Black brothers had blue eyes. Sirius’ were a light piercing blue that, upon your first interaction, you thought were freaky. He seemed to peer directly into your soul, seeing everything you were and loving you anyways. Maybe that’s why Remus liked his eyes so much. Regulus’ were a deep blue. When he finally made eye contact with you, you felt like you were getting sucked into the depths of the ocean. His eyes were all consuming. They covered you in him, all you think about when looking into Regulus’ eyes was Regulus. If Sirius’ eyes looked into your soul, Regulus’ showed you his soul. Regulus looked back to his page, making you miss his stare.

“What you guys doing here anyways?” Regulus muttered like it wasn’t your boyfriend’s common room. You slipped your hand behind Regulus’ knee massaging the back of his calf. Regulus didn’t react at all, continuing to scribble away. James tilted his head back, staring at Regulus upside down.

“Date night.” James explained, laying back down. Regulus winced, he looked to you to verify. You nodded.

“Oh wow James you sure are romantic, taking your partner all the way to your common room.” Regulus said. You smiled at him. You patted James’ chest, reminding him he could take you to a landfill and you’d still love him. James sat up.

“Hey we were going to go take a nap. That’s very romantic.” James said. He pointed at Regulus like a scolding mother. You gently pushed James’ finger down. You pecked his cheek.

“Yes you are so romantic James, no need to fist fight Reg.” James glared at Regulus as he laid back down in your lap. You rubbed Regulus’ calf up and down before returning to massaging it. You sat in silence for a few moments. Regulus continued writing away, while James started fiddling with your hand on his chest. You switched calf’s every few minutes, not wanting them to get uneven amounts of attention. You dropped your head back against the couch, closing your eyes. You heard Regulus move next to you. He gently traced the silhouette of your nose. You opened your eyes and stared at him without moving your head. You didn’t want to scare Regulus taking his hands away. Regulus dragged his finger down to your lips. His jaw went slack as he felt your lips against his fingertips. You held your breath as you felt a wave of arousal travel down your spine. His fingers dipped past your chin. Regulus traced down your throat, stopping at your collarbones. He fiddled with your necklace. Regulus moved the little J charm between his fingers. Regulus pulled his eyes away from your necklace to your eyes. You let out a small breath.

“You both ought to go take that nap now. I doubt you want to be spending your date night sat next to your friend’s little brother.” James sat up. His eyes snagged on Regulus’ fingers playing with your necklace. James looked up to you and gave you a smile. You both looked back to Regulus.

“Regulus, baby.” He gave you a confused look. He glanced between you and James. James sucked in a breath.

“We already spend most of our dates with you, so it wouldn’t really be much of a change.” James explained. Regulus removed his hand from you, closing his journal. Regulus stared at his lap for a few minutes, before looking up.

“I do not understand.” You gave him a small smile. You reached out and pushed his hair away from his face. You cupped Regulus’ cheek and rubbed your thumb against his skin. You leaned forward. Regulus fluttered his eyes shut, tilting his face up towards you. You gently kissed his cheek, teetering close to the corner of his lips. You pulled back. Regulus stared at you as you stood up. James quickly pecked Regulus’ other cheek before bounding up the stairs after you.

Regulus was starting to realize certain things about himself.

Part 2 >