#james | ❛ the beginning of the war will be secret. ❜ ( mentions. )

[ellecdc]

Come Back, Be Here

Sirius Black x fem!reader - First Wizarding War Order of the Phoenix - 8k words

p1 // p2 // p3 // p4 // p5 // p6 // p7 // p8

CW: mentions of past abuse/torture, amnesia, healing/blood and injury (no one is injured during this story), mention of Bellatrix's cursed knife (same injury Hermione received, sorry), angst, hurt/comfort, use of Y/N

Synopsis: After sacrificing yourself to save your friend and Order partner James months before, you're found on the brink of death. How will Sirius react when he finally gets his love back, but you don't seem to recognize any of them? (concept inspired by Recognition by aeaean__bliss on ao3)

James hated this – he hated the paranoia, he hated worrying, he hated the idea that taking one step outside of the threshold may be the last time he ever sees his wife and son. He had taken ‘one last look’ at too many people in his life, and he was exhausted.

         But he was also trained for this.

Pads had been growing more and more paranoid as the war waged on – with all the loss, the targeted attacks of Order members and the growing speculation of a spy amongst them; he begged Lily and James to change Peter to the secret keeper. “I’ll be the Death Eaters first thought, Prongs - he’s the less obvious choice.” It had been months since James had seen Sirius so desperate and passionate, so he agreed. Peter’s schedule with the Ministry had been taking up a lot of his time, but he said that the next Order meeting they would do the trade.

Until then, Sirius made sure Lily and James had a contingency plan.

“If anything fuckey happens, you have to promise me you’ll leave, no questions asked. Okay?” Sirius begged. “Have a go-bag packed for you both and Harry at the ready. If you feel any weakening of the wards – you leave.”

So, something fuckey happened. Lily got herself and Harry dressed for the rain, their bags by the back door ready to make a run for it, and James stood at the front door with his invisibility cloak pulled over him and wand at the ready.

The wards had chimed – signifying someone was here – but they were still standing; this meant Sirius was fine. Wards wobbled all the time – sometimes muggles wandered too closely to them without realizing – but the concerning part was the snap of apparition they heard before the wards had alerted them.

“It could be Moony, or Wormtail.” Lily said, mostly trying to convince herself that everything was fine.

James smiled at his wife like this might be the last time he ever did so. “Very true. I’ll be back in a mo’, okay? If anything happens, you guys go. I’ll find you.” He said.

Lily gave him a watery smile.

“I love you.”

“I love you.”

James stepped out into the torrential downpour. Britain wasn’t always known for its reliable weather, but even James was baffled by the sudden late-October thunderstorm. As tempted as he was to cast a weather repelling charm around him, he didn’t want to give away his location by having water bouncing away from his invisible figure, so he allowed himself to get increasingly soaked as he squinted into the night, looking for any signs of who alerted their wards.

He made it to the front gate – where he could see the end of the wards and cast a quick revelio.

Nothing.

“Moony?” He whispered, knowing the lycanthrope would hear him over the heavy rain.

“Pete?” He asked a little louder after receiving no answer.

He waited for a few more moments, cast one more revelio, and moved to the back of the house when he picked up nothing.

Godric’s Hollow is a wizarding community as well, he reminded himself, maybe someone just unknowingly apparated too close to the property.

He cast another revelio in the backyard and his heart leapt into his throat when he saw movement in the woods. “Buggering fuck!” He whisper-shouted, but embarrassingly realized he was watching the figure of a cat running away into the forest.

“Well, that’s not what I heard apparating here, now is it?” He muttered under his breath. He was beginning to suspect they heard some ignorant witch or wizard who miscalculated their apparation as he finished surveying the backyard.

Suddenly, he spotted a figure; it appeared unmoving, and was in a heap on the ground directly outside the ward line. James looked around, casting another revelio – nothing. The only thing he’s found is the slumped figure at the ward line.

James was torn – does he check what it is? What if it’s a person? Should he see if they are okay? Should he go inside and tell Lily that it’s fine before he checks on the figure? Would they still be waiting outside when he came back out? Is this a trap?

His musings were interrupted as the figure started choking.

“Merlin, I’m going to die of a bleeding heart.” James muttered as he made his way to the figure. He cast one more revelio on his way to confirm no one else was around waiting to ambush him.

Against his better judgment - knowing Sirius would have him by the bollocks for this later - he stepped outside of the wards, grabbed the figure and hauled the body back over the ward line. At least now I only have to be worried about dying at the hands of this individual half dead wix.

The body was small – James would assume it was a student from Hogwarts if it weren’t for the fact that they clearly apparated here and all students would be in school. Their cloak appeared far too large for their body and was completely soaked through due to the rain.

The figure began coughing again, and James heard gurgling sounds.

He ripped the hood off the figure and gasped.

Pale – so sickly pale – bruised black and blue and currently coughing up blood was you. Vixen! The witch, friend, fellow animagus and therefore honorary Marauder and his personal mission partner whom James last saw dying in the rubble of your last stake-out location.

“Oh Merlin, OH MERLIN.” James shouted as he whipped off the invisibility cloak and threw it over his shoulder.

He turned his attention back to you as you continued to sputter. He carefully turned you onto your side so you could spit the blood out of your mouth, which caused you to throw up.

“Okay, alright, come on Vix. Let’s get you inside. You’re okay, come on.” James muttered, mostly as a mantra to himself. He felt the adrenaline rushing through his body and tried to ignore the ringing in his ears.

He lifted you up into his arms; one arm supporting your knees whilst the other supported your shoulders. You hung from his grasp like a corpse.

“Stay with me, Vix. Stay with me. You’re going to be okay.” He continued as he got to the door.

He kicked the back door with his foot before cursing and remembering their code. He paused; three quick kicks, one kick, two quick kicks. “Lily! It’s clear, open up!”

Lily set Harry in his playpen and was quick to unlock the door. “Thank Merlin, I - oh!” She quickly moved out of way to avoid being barreled over by her husband with a body in his arms. “What did you find?”

“Not what, Lil’s. Who.”

He ran to the guest bedroom on the first floor, gently laying you onto the bed.

“No...” Lily whispered from the door, her face falling so pale that her freckles stood out in stark contrast.

“Help me. Help her. She’s hurt, she’s-” he started, but he could hardly breathe.

James’ stuttering seemed to snap Lily out of it, and she began barking orders.

“Go get towels, as many as we can. Put a few throw blankets into the dryer for about twenty minutes to warm them up.” She said as she moved to the bed. James didn’t need to be told twice.

Lily set the soaking cloak that James had unceremoniously plopped onto the bed onto the chesterfield. She vanished the black turtleneck and black trousers from your body hoping you wouldn’t miss them terribly. Her breath was taken away, but she couldn’t stare in horror for long as you began coughing up more blood.

She noticed bleeding from your left side – you had what looked like a stab wound in your ribs, which had punctured your lung. Okay Lily, you know this.

Lily sometimes hated magic - it had caused so much pain in her life. She had been called slurs and faced prejudice, she was left without a relationship with her sister, she lost friends and many she considered family to this magical war, and her husband and family were currently facing death by the hands of an evil wizard. Right at this very moment, however, Lily thanked all the deities possible for her use of magic.

She quickly syphoned the fluids and blood flooding your lung before casting a quick sawdering charm to it. Lily heard the telltale snap of your ribs back into place before she closed the wound. It wasn’t as pretty as what could have been done by a real Healer or even Madam Pomfrey, but it would do.

Lily cleared your mouth and throat of blood and conjured a glass of water, forcing some into your mouth before encouraging you to spit it back out.

Once you were no longer at risk of immediately dying, Lily took in the rest of your body.

Your collarbone appeared to protrude from its rightful place, and you had severe bruising around your neck. Lily corrected your collar bone with a flick of her wand which elicited a painful grunt from your lips. You seemed quite a bit thinner than the last time she had seen you, and wondered when your last good meal was. She levitated you gently off the bed and noted that the majority of the bruising appeared around your torso and back. You had a large, healed scar on your right thigh and a small puncture shaped scar on your lower left abdomen. But none of this made Lily feel nearly as sick as when she noticed the word mudblood carved into the skin of your left arm; the wound appeared brand new, as if it had just happened, but it was dry and not bleeding.

The bedroom door slammed open as James threw a pile of at least twenty towels onto the other side of the bed as your form. “I’ve got blankets in the drying machine thingy.” He muttered out of breath as he straightened his glasses.

“Merlin’s tits. What-” he started before Lily cut him off.

“Out, out. Give us some privacy, I’m going to run her a warm bath. Can you bring me some clothes for her?”

James jumped and took off out of the room again.

You had been coming in and out of consciousness as Lily gently washed your body. Every time your eyes met Lily’s green ones, Lily felt her breath leave her body. It’s like looking at a ghost. She wanted to throw up, she wanted to cry, she wanted to sing and dance, my friend, who we had a funeral for, was back from the dead. But she had a job to do, dammit she had a job to do. She’s not your friend right now Lily, she’s your patient. Help her. She needs a healer. You’re as good as one. Help your patient.

Neither of you spoke – Lily didn’t want to overwhelm you, and she also had no idea what to say. There’s so much I’ve wanted to tell you since you’ve been gone; now I have no words.

Lily helped you dry off and supported your weight as she walked you back into the bedroom. James had brought down a tracksuit of Lily’s, which was too big for you, but it was dry and warm, and it would have to do.

After you were dressed, Lily had you sit on the edge of the bed as she brushed and braided your hair.

“There you go, Y/N.” Lily said as she gently tapped your shoulder, cautious of any pain you may be feeling from your collarbone injury.

“You know my name.” you asked quietly, but it wasn’t a question.

Lily paled. Know your name? Try: know your entire life story up until about a year ago.

“I do.” Lily answered cautiously, moving to stand in front of her friend. “Do you know mine?”

Lily watched as your eyes scanned her face. “No,” you admitted. “I’m sorry.”

“Oh.” Lily said dumbly. “Well, that’s okay. Nothing to be sorry for. I’m Lily. We were friends, before.”

Tears welled up in your eyes, and Lily instantly regretted saying anything. “Here, why don’t we get you into bed, hm?” She offered as a distraction to the both of you.

You grimaced as you shuffled to the head of the bed where Lily pulled the warm blankets James had left for you to climb under.

“I’ll go make a pot of tea and get you some pain potion, okay?”

You seemed to consider Lily for some time before finally nodding your head at her.

“I’ll be right back.”

Lily closed the door behind her and rushed to the kitchen. “James” She sobbed.

Her husband immediately stood from the kitchen table and enveloped her in his arms.

“What happened? Is she okay?” He asked into her hair.

“She doesn’t know who I am.” She muttered miserably.

James froze and pulled his wife away from him to look into her eyes. “She what?”

“She doesn’t recognize me, James. She asked how I knew her name.”

“Oh, Godric.” James muttered, falling back into the chair. “Do you think she’ll recognize me? Or anyone else?”

Lily sighed as she made her way into the kitchen and turned on the kettle. “I don’t know. I don’t know if it’s shock, or amnesia, or a brain injury, or if it’s just me. There are too many variables. I think we should probably wait before we tell the other’s she’s here – I don’t know how they’ll handle not being recognized.”

“Fuck” James whispered.

“Potter.” Lily deadpanned. “Please tell me you didn’t.”

The only response she got was a guilty look from James before the front door flew open.

“Where is she?” Sirius demanded, staring at his friends as if they had personally victimized him, Remus following closely behind, face white as if he’d seen a ghost.

“Would you quiet down.” Lily seethed as she threw up a hasty mufliato.

“I am not fucking around, Red. Where. Is. She.” He repeated angrily, shaking off James’ hand that had been placed on his shoulder.

“If you think I’m letting you anywhere near her when you’re like this, you are out of your sodding mind.” Lily seethed, walking over, and shoving her face into Sirius’. 

“Mate, please. Sit down, let us fill you in. The second we do; you can go see her.” James said, trying to appease his friend. Sirius’ chest heaved as his burning eyes met Remus’ glassy ones which were already on him; a silent question of “Are we going to comply or are we going to cause a scene?” passed between them. Sirius moved his eyes back to Lily; he knew Lily wasn’t messing around - she was the mother of the group; she always had been. And she had always been the absolute best of friends with you and Remus, which made her all the more protective over you two in particular. He knew he should trust her when it came to you, but after the last mission - the mission you never fucking returned from - he doubted he would ever trust anyone with you ever again.

Lily watched his face as he seemed to come to some sort of decision.

“You have exactly five minutes starting the second my arse hits that seat, and then I will see her. Got it?” He stated bluntly, before shoving past her and James and sitting at the kitchen table.

Lily and James shared a look before they joined him at the table, Remus sitting down last.

James and Lily just stared at each other; each silently begging the other to start. Sirius grew more and more agitated the longer no one said anything, his knee bouncing under the table. 4 minutes and 17 seconds before I break every door down in this fucking house to find her.

“So,” James started, “She’s here.”

Lily grimaced. “We heard the snap of apparition and then there was a wobble in the wards.” Sirius’ eyes widened.

“We were ready to run,” Lily input at Sirius’ face, “but since the wards were still up and unaffected, James went to investigate.”

“She was soaked to the bone and just lying there. Honestly, I...I thought there was just a dead body until she started to choke.” James admitted. “I got her inside and brought her to the room where Lily healed her.”

“And?” Remus asked quietly.

“And it’s not good.” Lily admitted.

“She’s alive.” James amended, giving Lily a pointed look as if saying do you know who you’re talking to right now?

“Right, erm,” Lily started, “She had a stab wound in her ribs which had punctured her lung – that’s what was causing her to choke. I emptied the lung of blood and fluids and closed it up, re-set the broken ribs and closed the wound – her collar bone was also dislocated. She’s badly bruised and beaten. She has a few healed scars...” she trailed off awkwardly.

“Merlin’s tits.” Sirius muttered into his hands which were covering his face. “Is that all?” He asked sarcastically.

“No, there are two more things, but I need you to stay quiet and calm and listen to me. Do not speak until I say so, okay?”

She gave Sirius a pointed look and the man begrudgingly nodded.

“It appears that someone carved the word mudblood into her left arm – the wound looked brand new, but it wasn’t bleeding or red, so I’m not sure why it looks the way it does. I’ll need an actual healer to look it over.” She sighed greatly before continuing. “And she doesn’t know who I am.”

The room fell painfully silent, all eyes on her.

“Someone carved...?” Remus finally began whispering before he was cut off by Sirius.

“What do you mean she doesn’t know who you are?” Sirius asked.

“I mean I’m a stranger to her Sirius.” She muttered miserably. “She asked me how I knew her name, and when I told her we were friends, she looked like she was going to cry.”

Sirius’ already alabaster skin appeared to grow a sickly paler shade as he looked incredulously at Lily.

He watched as James rubbed Lily’s shoulder. Beaten. Stabbed. Bruised. Tortured. Someone hurt her. Someone touched her – violated her. My girl.

But she’s here. He reminded himself.

“Okay.” He whispered.

The table grew quiet again, everyone turning their attention to the dark-haired man.

“Okay?” Lily asked between sniffles.

“Okay.” He repeated before making eye contact with her again. “She’s likely been through hell, I hardly expect much of her right now. Fuck, I hardly ever expected to get her back at all so, let’s just...” He stopped, looking down at the woodgrain on the table. “We’ll make sure she’s okay to start and then, maybe eventually, we can help her get her memories back or something.” He sucked in a deep breath. “I just want to make sure she’s okay.”

Lily gave him a sad smile as more tears fell.

“Okay Pads.” She said, reaching to take his hand. “Let’s go see our girl.”

“Y/N? It’s me,” Lily started as she leaned into the bedroom door. “Erm, Lily.” She clarified awkwardly. “I’ve got your tea and something to eat, may I come in?”

She waited for a few beats before she poked her head in. “You okay?” She asked gently. She spotted her friend sitting exactly where she had left you; propped up in the bed on a tower of pillows and wrapped in the numerous blankets that James had warmed up for you. Lily plastered on what she hoped was her most calming smile.

“When was the last time you’ve eaten?” She asked gently, moving into the room.

 “I’m not sure.” You admitted in a whisper, warily eying the grapes, cheese, and crackers Lily had prepared that sat beside the tea and vial of pain potion which Lily placed on the bed before you.

“I can get you something else if you’d like, but I figured it might be good to have a little something in your stomach on account of the pain potion.” She grimaced as she motioned toward the offending vial.

The sound of a throat clearing interrupted the women and brought your attention to the door where James and Sirius both stood, waiting for... well, Lily wasn’t sure.

You just stared blankly at the men. Your eyes seemed to dart between James and Sirius, questions flying behind your eyes.

“Mind if we join you?” James asked quietly, holding his hands open as if a universal way to say, see? Friendly. We mean you no harm.

You turned your gaze back to Lily who was silently encouraging you. Lily wore a soft smile, and her eyes were full of compassion and understanding.

“Sure.” You finally said, your voice thick. The boys let out a breath and moved into the room slowly. Lily stared at them both, hoping they got her silent plea: you are great big giant oafs; please be as un-intimidating as possible.

It wasn’t easy; Sirius with his thick, rock-star style black hair and covered in various tattoos which stood out in stark contrast against his alabaster skin. His combat boots which were never tied properly were not the stealthiest footwear, and his various pieces of silver jewelry littering his body added to the intimidating aura that was Sirius Black.

And big, bumbling James; built like the Quidditch chaser he is. He stood slightly taller than Sirius, and between his ADHD and constant need for movement, he was in perfect shape for a soldier. He could appear intimidating when he needed to be, and when he was actually angry: watch out. But those who knew him would laugh and laugh to know you ever feared him if you hadn’t a reason. He smiled warmly at you and sat on the floor near the fireplace.

Sirius sat behind Lily in a wingback chair that he turned to face the bed you were sat on. He monitored your face looking for any signs of recognition as you surveyed the newcomers. He tried not to feel disappointed when he didn’t see any. He failed anyways.

“Our friend’s showed up while the tea was on, we never could keep them away for long.” Lily offered when you still hadn’t said anything.

“Rem will be back later; he ran out to grab some things.” Sirius explained.

James, never being one for sublties asked “do you recognize either of us?” as if the question had been lodged behind his teeth since he first found you.

Lily and Sirius sucked in a breath as they turned to analyze you. Your gaze moved over the two men before looking down at your hands in your lap and shook your head.

“Well, that’s alright; we always liked making new friends.” James offered. “I’m James – I found you outside. And this here is Sirius.” He said, motioning to his friend.

Sirius heard you let out a shakey breath at the end of James' sentence, and Lily noticed tears springing into her friend’s eyes.

“What’s the matter, love?” Sirius asked her gently.

You shook your head miserably and looked between the two men again. Sirius thought he would throw up while Lily’s eyes widened in horror.

“No, no. Y/N, it’s alright, you’re safe, no one’s going to hurt you.” she clarified.

“We’re your friends,” James offered quietly, “we only wanted to know you were okay.”

You didn’t seem able to make eye contact with any of them anymore and stared at the tea tray set out in front of you.

“It’s chamomile,” Lily offered, “it was one of your favourites.”

Sirius and James exchanged a glance before the former slowly stood and made his way over to you; you didn’t look up at Sirius, but he noticed your body tense. Keeping his distance, he picked up the cup of tea and gave it a sniff before taking a sip, making a show of swishing it in his mouth before swallowing. 

“Hm, yep. Chamomile, two sugars and a splash of milk.” He said before he cast a quick revelio over the cup and pot. “And nothing else added.”

He placed the cup back onto the tray. “You can never be too careful these days, hm?” He offered you with a smile before returning to his seat.

You looked at Lily before you carefully picked up the tea with shaking hands. The warmth of the cup brought tears to your eyes as you held it tightly in your hands, enjoying the aroma before taking your own cautious sip.

Seemingly satisfied you weren’t being poisoned, you grimaced at the smell of the pain poition before downing it with nothing more than a cough. Sirius thought you were a much better sport about it than he was.

“Why don’t we light the fire, hm?” Lily asked, beginning to stand.

“I’ve got it.” Sirius mumbled, standing, and placing a few logs into the hearth before casting an incendio.

Sirius could feel your eyes following him; he knew because they burned into his skin like they always had before. He always had a sixth sense when it came to you. He missed this familiar feeling, even though it was currently painful; he never thought he’d feel the burn of your stare again.

“Thank you.” He heard whispered, and looked to see you looking at him from under your lashes as you brought the tea to your lips again.

“You’re very welcome.” He smiled at you.

“Do you know me?” You suddenly whispered. If it wasn’t for the fact that the only sound in the room was the crackling of the fire, the rest of the room’s occupants would have missed it completely.

“Yes.” James said with a soft smile.

“Were we...” you started, before clearing your throat and returning your gaze to your hands. “Were we friends? Before?” You finished, not returning your gaze.

“The best of.” James replied.

You seemed to think on this for a while before you looked up and met Sirius’ eyes.

“And you?” You queried.

Sirius was sure he just heard his heart break. He wondered how much he should tell you. She doesn’t remember me. She doesn’t remember the nights shared, or the fights had, or the days spent. How much does he tell you?

He recognized that everyone is looking at him now; you inquisitively, James appeared distraught, and Lily was looking at him with the saddest smile he’d ever seen. He had very little time to answer this question.

“You couldn’t shake me off, love. I followed you around everywhere.” He settled for, trying to smile at you but it felt more like a grimace.

You sighed and returned to fiddling with your teacup.

“I’m sorry.” You whispered. The two present marauders and Lily exchanged glances before turning back towards their friend.

“What for?” Lily asked gently, moving to place a hand on your shoulder. Nobody in the room missed the full body flinch that took place when you spotted a hand coming towards you, which caused Lily’s hand to retreat to her lap.

You sighed heavily again before continuing. “For not recognizing you all.”

“None of that now, gorgeous.” Sirius stated. “You’ve done nothing wrong. You’ll be just fine.”

“Where have you been all this time?” James asked, which was met with a low rumble from Sirius’ throat; a warning that no one in the room missed.

“Prongs, she’s been through hell. Leave her be for now.”

Your eyes flicked between the two men who seemed to be having a silent conversation with their eyes. You looked back to Lily who gave you a crooked smile and a shrug of her shoulders.

“Was your hair shorter when I knew you?” You asked. Sirius tore his eyes away from his best mate and looked into your warm gaze. You looked so inquisitive, and he instantly thought back to the nights that the two of you spent on the astronomy tower where he would point out every constellation and star you could see with your naked eye and tell you their stories; you’d always ask follow-up questions, which he loved because none of your other friends found astronomy to be at all interesting, and he could show off his wealth of knowledge on the topic.

Sirius subconsciously brought his hand up and ran his fingers through his hair. No, he thought, in fact, I’ve cut it quite a bit shorter since the last time I saw you. His hair had always been quite long, especially since he and you became friends back in 4th year. After you passed away - or, disappeared, Sirius supposed – he found it harder and harder to deal with especially when in battle, between needing it to be up elsewise it was in his face, or being easy to grab by enemies. He kept some length, but now the longest pieces came just below his chin.

“I don’t think so, darlin’. Must be thinking of someone else.” He tried to tease, but it came out pained.

Your eyes stayed on Sirius as you analysed him. “My mistake.” You whispered.

It grew incredibly awkward from there. No one knew what to say; you wouldn’t eat or make eye contact with anyone anymore and continued fiddling with your teacup.

“Well, why don’t we leave you to eat up, and you can rest some, hm?” Lily offered, looking around the room at the others. James immediately nodded his head in agreement, whilst you looked indifferent, and Sirius looked anything but pleased at the prospect of leaving the room you were currently situated in.

“Pads, why don’t you help me make something to eat for the rest of us, and we can come check back on Y/N a little later.” She offered.

Sirius kept his gaze on you; you seemed concerned, though he didn’t know what about – were you worried they’d stay? That they’d leave? Were you worried that they wouldn’t come back?

“Alright,” He offered Lily, “I’ll be back shortly, okay?” He added for your benefit. You looked up at that, appearing to analyze him as he moved to the door whilst keeping eye contact.

“Okay.” You whispered, and everyone shuffled out of the room.

“Fuck.” He breathed as the door clicked shut behind him.

The three friends moved back to the kitchen where Sirius did indeed help Lily make more sandwiches while James began to pace the kitchen behind them.

“Spit it out Prongs, we’ve not got all day.” He muttered, tired of his friend’s nervous ticks.

“Listen, mate,” James started awkwardly, “I just want you to be careful.”

Sirius looked at him incredulously. “Excuse me?”

“I mean, with Y/N.” He clarified, which for Sirius clarified absolutely nothing.

“What are you on about?”

“Okay.” James breathed. “Listen, I’m just worried - about all of us, okay? Vix included. I mean, she was as on deaths door the last I saw her and-”

“Yeah, and you fucking left her there.” Sirius spat quietly. James’s face pained considerably, the guilt and memories clear on his face. It wasn’t fair of Sirius, he knew that. You made that choice for the both of them; he saw James’ memory of that moment with his own eyes - hell, he was there when a distraught James dropped into the safe house via portkey without you.

“I know, I...” James started but was interrupted this time by Lily.

“Sirius, we both know how stubborn our girl is. Nothing would have changed that outcome.” She offered him quietly.

“I shouldn’t have interrupted James.” Sirius bit out, knowing he was out of line but not willing to apologize for his words.

“We believed her to be dead for months, and then all of a sudden, she quite literally drops out of the fucking sky and remembers nothing. I’m not saying she’s chosen a side or anything, but I cannot help but be worried. This feels like a trap.”

James’ words hung in the air, Sirius never breaking eye contact with him. Sirius’ stares could be intense which was extremely intimidating. While James was undoubtedly uncomfortable, he needed Sirius to understand his concerns. You were a potential threat whether you were aware of it or not, and you were currently living in his house alongside his family.

“So, what? You think she’s been turned a spy? That she’s been sent to destroy us from the inside out? After all this time?” Sirius asked incredulously.

“I don’t know what to think, Pads. All I’m saying is that I’m scared and for all our sakes, I need you to be careful.”

“You want her out.” Sirius spat.

“No.” Lily and James chorused.

“Sirius no, I want my best friend here, with me where I can help her.." Lily started. "That’s not what this is about. Maybe I’m being naïve, but I don’t think she’s a danger to us. I want her here, Sirius. I need her here.”

James looked at his wife, disagreement written all over his face, but it was joined with acceptance and understanding. You were his friend too; he spent summers and full moons and missions with you, and he wouldn’t trade any of it. Well, he’d leave the missions happily behind but hoped one day that you could spend the first two together again. But he had a war to win and a family to protect, and right now, that had to come first.

The three friends were interrupted by a silvery whisp of a phoenix travelling into the room. The Phoenix whistled three times, waited four seconds and let out one long whistle before adding five short whistles and then disappeared.

“Dumbledore wants a meeting.” James translated.

“I bet it’s all about how your ex-partner is a big fat spy, Prongs.” Sirius muttered.

“Enough.” Lily remarked. “None of this right now, let’s just get her through tonight.”

Lily sat a few sandwiches onto the table.

“I just wish we could get her to a healer; see what could be causing the amnesia.” She murmured miserably.

“What do you think it could be?” James prodded.

 “I’m not sure. Many things can cause amnesia - malevolence or injury, perhaps. If it’s due to a malevolent curse or she’s been obliviated or imperio’d or something, maybe we can reverse it. If it’s an injury... well I’m not sure. Brains are tricky but maybe it can be healed, or I don’t know...” She trailed off frustrated. In her mind, it was either that her friend had been being cursed, or she sustained a brain injury that may not be able to be fixed.

“Maybe it’s something else, Red. We’ll find a way to fix this.” Sirius offered quietly, reaching for her hand across the table which she met. She smiled at him for a few moments.

“She really is the better part of you, isn’t she?” James interrupted.

“How do you mean?” He asked, moving his eyes and soft smile to James who he regarded a little cooler.

“Being all reasonable and optimistic. You’re giving Haz a run for his money being the most optimistic in the family, and he’s ignorant to anything that doesn’t fit in his mouth.” James clarified.

“Classy Prongs,” Sirius muttered. “Jokes at the expense of your own sprog when he’s not even awake to defend himself.”

The three friends chuckled, allowing some of the tension to dissipate from the room. Sirius would let it go for now, but he was less than pleased with his friend’s accusation. But James just wanted to protect his family, and that included Sirius and you, whether Sirius understood that or not.

Sirius rapped at the door gently. “It’s just me, erm, Sirius.” The door opened a crack, and he poked his head in. “Mind if I join you?”

You shook your head which he took as an invitation. He closed the door gently behind himself before he returned to the wingback chair he had settled in earlier. He had his own cup of tea and half a sandwich on a plate.

“Lily’s going to bring us some more tea later, maybe with some sleeping draught. Do you think you’ll need help sleeping tonight?” He said.

“You’re asking my permission?” You asked, which caused Sirius to nearly choke on his tea.

He looked at you incredulously for a moment. “Of course, I am. It’s your choice”

You seemed to think about that for a moment.  “Perhaps it wouldn’t be a bad idea, to have an aid.” You admitted finally.

He considered this. “Very well, we’ll get that brewed for you.”

Sirius continued to watch you. You fiddled with the hem of the sweatshirt you were wearing, which he recognized to be one of Lily’s. Lily, the beautiful Amazonian woman she was, meant the outfit was far too big for your smaller frame, especially with how much you had seemed to hollow out since Sirius last saw you. That’s okay, he reminded himself, we’ll get her all fixed up. He made a mental note to try to find what clothes of yours he still had at his and Moony’s flat. He suddenly felt simultaneously embarrassed and grateful he kept most of your old things, only donating what you hadn’t used in the past year and a half before you went missing. Remus had suggested placing some of his and Sirus’ favourites of yours in what muggles called Ziploc baggies which basically cast a stasis charm on it to keep it fresh. It may sound weird, but for Padfoot and Moony, both of them understood how comforting someone’s scent could be, and he was willing to look ‘weird’ for the sake of keeping what little of you that he could. He’d go shopping as well, to replace what he had given away. Maybe even get you a whole new wardrobe - when you were feeling better, you could come with him, pick out your own things.

Thinking about you feeling better, he looked up at you and noticed how not better you were. Your eyebrows were furrowed as if you were in pain, your knee was bouncing underneath you, and you kept looking at the doors.

“What is it, love? What’s wrong?” He asked, pushing his plate and cup aside and rising to kneel in front of you.

You looked at him, startled at first, before tears welled up in your eyes.

He remembered your flinch at Lily’s hand, so once he was on his knees, he slowly raised his hands and motioned for yours all while maintaining eye contact. You looked between his hands and his eyes for a moment before you lifted your hands into his. He wondered if you could hear his heartbeat as it bounced around in his chest. Your skin still felt cold – though he remembered that you always seemed to run colder than he did.

“What’s wrong love?” He asked again.

You began to cry in earnest. “I...” you choked out.

“You can tell me, it’s alright.” He offered.

“I have to pee!” You whispered through a sob. “I’m sorry.” You added. Sirius scrunched his eyebrows at you. Had this been anyone else, he would have started to laugh. But you seemed thoroughly distraught right now; your knee was still bouncing, and you looked so pained.

“Okay, that’s okay. There’s nothing to be sorry for.” He offered. You made a disgruntled sound.

“Have you been waiting this whole time?” He asked. You cried some more and nodded.

“Oh love, okay. Come on.” He began to stand and used your hands that were still in his to pull you up. You stumbled a bit, but he steadied you.

You made your way to the bathroom, and he sat you on the toilet. “Do you, erm, are you okay to do...what you need to do, by yourself?” He asked awkwardly. You nodded quickly.

“Okay.” He smiled at you. “I’ll be just outside this door, okay?” He said as he backed out of the washroom. He closed the door, and he could hear you shuffling as you pulled down your trousers.

Merlin. She was nearly in a fit over asking to use the loo. Why would she wait to ask to go?

Sirius aggressively wiped his face, feeling tears burn his eyes. He heard the click of a door and moved his hands, expecting to see you but was surprised as Lily entered the bedroom.

“Hey. How’s she doing?” She asks as she peered around the room trying to spot her friend.

Sirius sighed. “She almost let her bladder burst waiting to be told she could use the loo.” He stated plainly.

“Oh Vix...” Lily tutted as she leaned against the back of the couch which faced the bathroom door. Sirius moved to join her.

“She’s open to a sleeping draught for tonight.” He offered. Lily just hummed.

“What are we doing to do, Pads?” She asked after some time.

“Be patient as hell, I guess.” He answered.

Lily chuckled and nudged Sirius with her shoulder. “Patience. A Sirius Black special.”

Lily watched as Sirius smirked and looked back at the bathroom door. Lily was right, of course; he was never very patient. He wasn’t the kind one of the group, he wasn’t always very understanding, and he surely wasn’t the patient one. He was loud, he was angry, he was crass, and he never slowed down, not for anyone. Except for her she remembered.

(Five summers ago)

The group of them had been getting ready to head to the Potter’s for a few weeks in the summer between 6th and 7th year; you had asked to be picked up last so that you didn’t hold everyone up. Sirius and James picked Lily up first, ever the timely one. They stopped at Remus’ next, who was mostly ready, but ran back inside four times as the others listed off things he may have forgotten. “Toothbrush?” Lily asked. “Fuck.” Remus muttered as he ran back inside the Lupin cottage. He emerged victorious with his toothbrush in hand.

“First thing we’re doing when we get to the manor is jumping in the lake. It’s too bloody hot today.” James muttered, which caused Remus to groan as he went back inside.

“Moooooonnyyyyyyy.” Sirius whined as his friend disappeared.

This happened two more times for his sandals a a pair of sunglasses which was met with a lot of whining from Sirius before they were ready to go.

Next stop was Peter’s house; they were met by Peter’s mother who showed them to his room which was nothing short of a disaster.

“Peter Pettigrew!” She shrilled at him from the door. “You are not to leave this room like this, do you hear me young man?!” She demanded as she started down the hallway.

“Great, now we have to wait for him to finish packing and clean his bloody room.” Sirius muttered as he kicked Peter’s school bag aside to sit on his desk chair.

“Wormy, you knew we were coming and what time. In fact, we’re late. How are you not ready?” Remus asked incredulously, trying to help Peter fold his clothes and put it in his bag as the kid continued running around his room throwing things on his bed which was deemed to be the ‘pack’ pile.

“’Cause he’s a wanker, that’s why.” Sirius muttered none-too-quietly from his moping spot in the desk chair which earned him a flick in the head from James.

“Now, now, Pads. We’ll make it home eventually.” He chuckled.

“Listen, I’m sweaty, I’ve been travelling around all of the UK picking up you knob heads and we still have one stop. I wanna gooooooooo.” He whined petulantly.

“Okay well you can whine all you want to Vixen since she’s our last stop then. Maybe she’ll feel bad for you.” Lily offered, zipping up Peter’s first of three bags he ended up leaving with.

Entirely too long later, they travelled to a spot close to your house and began the trek, the sun still high in the sky and accosting Sirius.

“Too bloody hot for this.” He muttered to himself as he knocked a little impolitely on your door. A few moments later, a frazzled looking you swung the door open and looked at your five friends.

“Oh God, here we go.” Lily muttered as she was sure Sirius’ whining was going to continue at the lack of a packed bag in your hand. She was completely astounded however when he rushed inside and shut the door behind him, leaving his four other friends outside. The said friends shared a bemused look before leaning their ears against the door.

“What’s the matter?” Sirius asked you gently. They heard a small sniffle.

“I’m sorry Siri. I’m not ready. I slept through my alarms and then I had to do laundry and the washing machine is giving me problems and my dad is away for work so I had to make sure everything was set up because the cats will be alone for the rest of the week and I’m not ready and I’m sorry.” You finished taking a long breath which sounded like it was close to becoming a sob.

“Hey, hey, it’s alright. Not a problem at all love, come on. Let’s get you packed up. We’ve got time.” Sirius could be heard saying before your sets of footsteps moved further into the house.

“‘We’ve got time’ he says.” Peter muttered, mimicking his friend as he kicked a pebble.

“There’s always time for Vix, Wormy. You know this.” James said as he winked at Peter and slung his arm over Lily.

(Present)

Lily and Sirius heard water running and knew you were finished. They waited for a few moments but when you never exited the bathroom, they shared a quick glance.

Sirius moved up to the door and gently knocked. “You okay?” As he waited for a response, he made eye contact with Lily.

“Yeah.” You answered through the door.

“Are you done?”

You were silent for a moment before you answered, “yes.”

Lily and Sirius looked at each other again for a moment. “I’m gonna open the door then, alright?” He didn’t receive an answer, so opened the door slowly.

You were leaning your weight against the bathroom sink and had your arms wrapped around yourself protectively.

“Feel better?” Sirius asked gently, offering you his hand.

You looked from his hand to his eyes. “Yes. Thank you.” You said as gently took his hand. He placed your arm in his and helped you towards the bed on the other side of the room.

“No need to thank me, love.” He offered as he helped you up onto the bed. It seemed to be a little too high for you, and Sirius made a note to put a step stool here for you tomorrow.

“Y/N, the bathroom is there for you whenever. No one else will use it. If you ever need help, you can let me know, okay?” Lily offered.

“Anything,” Sirius added solemnly, lifting the duvet for you to climb in under. “You can ask for anything, okay?”

You fiddled with the duvet and quilt after it was set on top of your lap.

“Is there anything you can think of now that you want or need?” He asked, ducking his head to try to look into your eyes.

You searched his eyes, the silver gaze so familiar against his black hair.

Sirius was about to give up and look to Lily when you finally answered. “I don’t think so.”

He smiled gently at you. “That’s alright. I’ll think of lots of things for you.”

“I’m sure Pads already has a list compiled.” Lily snorted from the end of the bed.

“As a matter of fact, my dear Red, I do.” He smirked at her as he began tidying up the room.

“She’ll need some clothes...” Lily started.

“Already on it. And we’re gonna get a stool so she doesn’t have to haul herself up into that tall ass bed. We’ll get her the shampoo she likes; we can’t let those locks suffer.” He added with a wink in your direction.

Lily took the dishes Sirius had collected and brought them to the kitchen where she began the tea just as Remus came back in through the front door with a box in his hands.

“This is about two weeks of dreamless sleep if she needs one every night. I can get more if she needs it.” He said as he placed the box on the kitchen table.

“Thank you, Rem, I’m sure this will be a great help.” She smiled at her friend before kissing his cheek.

“How’s he holding up?” He asked. She knew he was worried about his roommate.

Sirius’ feelings for you have never been quiet nor simple. In fairness to her friend, he had always lived with his heart on his sleeve; his feelings written all over his face. His love for you had always been palpable. They thought they were going to lose him when they lost you, and in some ways, they did. They lost the slightly gentler side of Sirius, the side that would give pause when his friends needed it, who tried to see the good in everybody first. 

His better half was back, but not really. Sirius wasn’t usually able to live by halves and they wondered how this would play out while they waited for you to remember something, anything.

“He’s hanging in there. He’s been really strong for her.” She answered gently as the tea pot started to whistle. Remus hummed in acknowledgment.

“She always was the strong one for us, when it mattered most. Seems fitting he returns the favour.” He admitted.

The sleeping draught tea made, Lily re-entered the bedroom with Remus where they found Sirius setting up the couch with a pillow and some blankets.

“Having yourself a slumber party here, Pads?” Remus asked lightly.

“Yeah, I think I’ll stay here for tonight, keep our guest company. Try not to miss me too much, alright Moony?” He offered cajolingly, but Remus and Lily knew; he wouldn’t be leaving your side any time soon, not unless you asked him to.

Continue to part 2 here.

[ahrahrahraha]

Series

Your Hands Have Made Some Good Mistakes by @thenhewaswrongaboutme

3B by @softlyspector

"Bucky is used to being alone, so is the girl living in apartment 3B. He keeps to his routine, to crossing off amends. But mutual loneliness forges an unlikely friendship. Alone and reclusive, sweet and incredibly strange, with deep secrets and regrets, 3B has more to reveal than meets the eye".

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Sugar by @softlyspector

"By a miracle of fate, Bucky Barnes does not fall off of the train. He does not spend decades as a brainwashed assassin. Instead, he goes home to Brooklyn to spend his life with a girl he adores, a snarky nurse that he met during the war.  Told through a series of non-chronological one-shots."

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

The Florist, The Beekeeper & The Pumpkin Carver by @softlyspector

Home & Better by @softlyspector

For The Love Of The Game by @pellucid-constellations (college/baseball AU)

"Bucky Barnes was a menace. NYU’s top baseball player, he was used to girls falling at his feet and could smooth talk his way out of just about anything. You hated him. He couldn’t figure out why. So when the novelty of weekend parties and quick hookups finally wore off—and his feelings for you began to grow—he made it his mission to fix it." 

Pairing:  College Athlete!Bucky x Reader 

Undisclosed by @pellucid-constellations (lumberjack!bucky)

"Desperate to outrun a secret that could cost you your life, you seek refuge in a small mountain town. Its deep forests and small cabins make it the perfect place to hide, but the travel website hadn’t mentioned anything about the quiet, burly lumberjack that wouldn’t leave your thoughts. No one had warned Bucky about you either." 

Pairing: Lumberjack!Bucky x Reader

A Correspondence Of Obligation by @pellucid-constellations (prince!bucky)

"Obedience, duty, pristine smiles—raised as the princess of an oppressive kingdom, you knew nothing else. Your father signed your life away at the ripe age of five, black ink bleeding into a contract between nations, fate cemented with the flick of a quill. So when the time came to fulfill the promises you were too young to make, you expected much of the same in the land of Brookshire. But Prince James had other plans, as did the enemies looming outside the castle walls".

Pairing: Prince!Bucky x Princess!Reader (Royal AU)

A Million Reasons by @pellucid-constellations

"Bucky Barnes, with all of his trust fund money and family connections, gets assigned community service. You, as someone that's technically part of the community, have to put up with him. Every day. And he won't stop killing your plants."

Pairing: College!Bucky x Reader

Never Let You Go by @bitsandbobsandstuff

"After losing the woman they love, Bucky and Steve make a desperate decision with unimaginable consequences."

A Love That Never Leaves by @bitsandbobsandstuff

"Sometimes when you go looking for the past, you find things you never expected. When an accident brings him face to face with something he never knew he lost, Bucky Barnes begins to understand an age old truth – it’s so easy, sometimes, to love the things that destroy us."

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Safe With Me by @bitsandbobsandstuff

"When an unknown threat enters your life, protection is offered at the highest level. As Bucky Barnes comes into your life, the game changes, and you realise falling for the man tasked with keeping you safe is the last thing you expected."

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Three Shades of A Man by @bitsandbobsandstuff

"It was different every time, what Bucky needed from you to survive himself. It was in these moments you saw the shades behind the mask he wore in front of the world"

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Guiding Light by @wkemeup

The Witness by @wkemeup (detective!bucky)

By Any Other Name by @wkemeup (FBI!bucky)

Sunrise by @wkemeup (armyvet!bucky)

Delicate Edges by @wkemeup (biker!bucky)

Sky Full Of Song by @wkemeup (pirate!bucky)

Pride & Privacy by @adrinktostopyourthirst

Feelings Are Fatal by @sunmoonandeddie

Appointments by @noctumbra

Codename: Lazarus by @sagechanoafterdark

I'll Take Care Of It by @tellmealovestory

Something More by @tellmealovestory (modern au)

It's a Deal by @justreadingfics

Looking For A Heartbeat by @justreadingfics

Bad Match by @justreadingfics

Lumby & Bunny by @sweetdreamsbuck (lumberjack!bucky)

Florist Bucky by @navybrat817

Biker Bucky by @angrythingstarlight

Soft Mafia Bucky by @angrythingstarlight

Chubby Baker Bucky by @angrythingstarlight

The Two of Us by @bucky-bucket-barnes

The Five Times Bucky Saved You... by @buckysknifecollection

Tiktok Trend by @tuiccim

Snow by @delaber

Personal Pillow by @buckyalpine

Untouched by @buckyalpine

Wait, What? by @buckyalpine

Untouched by @buckyalpine

Project V by @babyboibucky

"You ask your best friend Bucky a favor of a lifetime." Pairing College!Bucky Barnes x Reader"

What's Left Behind by @ussgallifrey

"The world turned upside down the minute you let your guard down and, despite it all, you just had to keep going because… what else could you do at a time like this?"

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Gender Neutral Reader

The Kids Aren't Alright by @ussgallifrey

"Nobody wants to hear you sing about tragedy but, between the three of you, there’s enough lyrics to write an anthem. You’re doomed from the start"

Pairing: Steve x named!Female Reader x Bucky

Updated 4/11/2023

[fandoms-writings]

hi! omg i am OBSESSED with your writing! may i request #4 angst and #3 fluff for knight!bucky <3 i think it'd go well with them

ahhh thank you for requesting one of my favorite aus <3 i hope you enjoy this one <3

If Only for a Moment

Pairing: knight!Bucky x queen!Reader

Word Count: 1041

Warnings: stress, anxiety, mentions of marriage and potential kingdom conflicts, bucky being the perfect knight he is &lt;3 angst with a fluffy ending

A/N: This is unbeta'd and unedited lol so take that as you will

Series Masterlist

You liked to think you were a graceful queen. One who kept her composure when faced with dangers most didn't know existed. Not known for losing your temper. 

But sometimes, the weight of the world was a lot for your shoulders. 

You sniffled as you pulled the pins out of your hair and ripped off your corset, the tears free flowing now that you didn't have an audience. 

There was a knock at your door and you took a deep breath before asking who was there. 

"Just me, Your Grace," James's voice responded and you sighed. He was here to take you to the stables - you were supposed to go on a night ride through the city. 

"Give me a second," you called, wiping your face free of your tears and grabbing your cloak, pulling it tight around you. Walking up to the door, you took a deep breath, pulling your emotions in check, relaxing your tense face and throwing on a soft smile. 

You pulled the door open to find him with his back turned to you before he looked at you over his shoulder with a smile.

"Good afternoon, Your Grace," His voice was soft as he looked at you, but his lips faltered and his eyes filled with concern, "Forgive me, but. . ."

Your brows pulled together in confusion, "What is it, Jamie?" 

He lowered his voice, "Do not take offense to this, but. . . Your Grace, you're a mess." 

Your eyes widened as you scoffed with a smile, "I am not a mess. What are you talking about?" 

He softly called your name, something he never did. It was alway 'your grace' or 'my love' - when in your quarters and out of earshot of anyone else. Your name sounded foreign on his tongue, but it was a welcome change. 

You looked at him, seeing the sincerity in his face, the worry prevalent in his frown, and you sighed, the tears beginning to push at the dam again. 

"I want to love you openly, Jamie," You muttered, watching his gaze soften, "I don't like having to hide you. But I also don't know what sort of consequences announcing our affections would bring." 

"Your Grace," he cupped your cheeks, pulling you so your foreheads were touching, "I do not need our relationship to be in the spotlight to feel like it's important. I don't mind hiding, it allows us to revel in those secret moments. Makes them more special in a way." 

You let out a sad, wet chuckle, "But, I want people to know. I want them to know you hold my heart, that there is no more competition for it, that there never was. I do not want to hide you anymore," You reached up, grabbing each of his wrists, squeezing them, "I want everyone to know that you're mine, and I'm yours." 

"Alright," He smiled, his lips wavering, "Then we tell them. Almost everyone within the castle walls already knows, and the people of the kingdom love you. You've done so much for them, they'd support you in anything you decided." 

"What about the other kingdoms, the ones who wouldn't appreciate that I'm not courting someone of noble blood?" You asked, your voice small as you gnawed at the edge of your lips. 

He placed a kiss on your forehead, "They'll have me to answer to then. You know I'd protect you with my life don't you?" 

You scoffed, pulling your face out of his hands, "Of course I know that, but I don't want you getting hurt and I don't want to start a possible war." 

"My love," He reached for you again, gently grabbing your hand, stopping you from pacing again, "I would never allow myself to be hurt, to risk not coming home to you. But if you want to love openly, I will protect you against any retaliation. You and your kingdom. I swear it." 

You watched as he closed the distance between the two of you, reaching up to swipe at the tears that had started to fall down your cheeks. Your heart beat hard in your chest as his gaze warmed your skin, his touch bringing chills as his fingers brushed over your skin. 

You couldn't help but fall even harder for him as he stood in front of you, declaring his intentions, prepared to protect you and the kingdom should the need arise. 

"You know," You started, "if we were to marry, it'd be your kingdom too - legally." His eyes widened at the mention of you marrying him. You'd never talked about it, but it's something you always wanted. Someone to sit at your side on the throne and rule with you. A marriage that wasn't born from duty or treaties. A partner who thought of you as an equal and actually loved you, not just saying they did for the power that came with it. 

"You would marry me?" He whispered. 

You swallowed the lump in your throat before whispering back, "If you'd have me, yes." 

His lips twitched upwards, "I know nothing of being king," he chuckled. You couldn't help the smile that burst from your lips as you giggled. 

"I'll teach you. Anything you need to know, I'll show you," you reached up, wrapping your arms around his neck. "I'll even hire the nation's best scholar if you ask me to." 

He let out a loud laugh before smiling down at you. "Are you still stressed?" He asked, his smile dropping just a bit in worry. 

"Of course I am," You laughed, "I'll always be stressed about this until we do something about it." 

He sighed, looking at you for a moment before smirking at you, "Let me kiss it better, then." 

"Oh," You laughed, "Is that going to fix it?" 

"For a moment," He smiled, "But isn't a moment enough?" 

You smiled up at him before leaning up on the tips of your toes and gently pressing your lips to his. He smirked into your lips, but you pulled back before he could deepen it. Your lips brushed against his as you asked, "Can you make it more than a moment?" 

His eyes flicked between yours and your lips as he nodded, "Anything for you, my love."

As always, thank you for reading! Comments, reblogs, and likes are all very much appreciated.

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[dreamingofmarauders]

𝐏𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞

𝘾𝙝𝙖𝙥𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙎𝙞𝙭

James Potter x Slytherin!Fem!Reader!

Summary: In which you grow close with the Marauders and you encounter someone who you never wanted to see again

Warnings: Mention of knife, torture, blood, crying, yelling, swearing

Previous Part Series Masterlist

───※ ·❆· ※───

It had been a few months since the night you had spilled all your secrets and cried in James' arms. Over the course of those few months, you had grown close with all the boys. Remus and you had always shared a bond, but now you just got the chance to spend more time together. Peter and you were not that close. He was rarely around and if he was there, he was super quiet, his eyes fretting about. Sirius and you had become friends. Sirius, after having witnessed you were truly an angel, who made cheeky remarks every now and then, had become close to you, and you two had been able to relate about your childhood experiences. Sirius was also very thankful to you that you had given Regulus the love he had never been able to. And then there was James.

He was so full of chatter and cheeky expressions that you found him utterly adorable. Your heart would begin to race and butterflies would erupt in your stomach when your hands brushed, or when James subconsciously wrapped an arm around your shoulders. You would feel your cheeks heat up whenever he winked at you or shot you a teasing smile.

However, you felt yourself done for whenever he called you 'love.'

Remus would send you a smirk whenever this happened to which you would scowl at him. He knew as much as you knew.

You were feeling something more than friends for James.

However, you tried to push it down but it was futile. You knew James had become a friend but he would never become anything more than that, after all you two weren't even friends a few months back. Besides, you were too broken and full of inner demons to be loved. You didn’t know how you would handle such affection from someone anyways.

However James viewed you as if you were the sun, as if you were the stars. James Potter felt you were just different and out of this world. Although the young Potter thought this was all because of the newfound friendship, the truth was far from that.

But the blindfold would be soon removed from James’ eyes as the war would bring another casualty.

Late one summer evening, Dumbledore had assigned Fabian and Gideon Prewett as the ones leading the latest mission.

The mission?

Protect the muggles from an upcoming attack in their neighborhood.

Which is why you, along with the majority of the Order, found yourselves scattered amongst a small and quiet Muggle neighbourhood during the dark of the night. The crescent moon was out, shining down as the countless stars glittered and dazzled. There was a light breeze that travelled through your hair as the comforting sounds of chirping crickets filled your ears. Along with the James’, your partner’s, calm humming, to what song, you had no clue.

You glanced at him and smiled, watching as the young Potter was in his own little world, as he hummed while a soft smile sat on his lips, his hands tucked into his pockets as he walked in stride with you.

“You know, staring is rude, L/n.”

Your cheeks flushed at the sudden comment as James grinned teasingly, turning his head to look down at you. Lucky for you, it was dark enough that James couldn’t see your red cheeks.

“Sod off, Potter. You sound way too cocky, I think all those years with Sirius didn’t do you good.” You answered with a smirk.

James threw his head back and let out a deep chuckle.

“You’re a sneaky little thing, love.”

And there it was again.

Love.

You winked up at him with a grin. James opened his mouth to speak-

“Expelliarmus!”

Your wand immediately flew out of your hand, landing somewhere out of sight as James grabbed your hand, pulling you close to him as he whipped out his wand from the inner pocket of his jacket.

Two dark masked figures appeared in front of you. A hand latched into your forearm, violently pulling you and your hand lost its grip on James’. You let out a yelp at the sudden action and as James whipped around in alarm, you watched his eyes widened just a millisecond before something cold and thin pressed against your throat.

“Well, well, dearest Y/n, it has been a while hasn’t it?”

Your whole being filled with terror at the chilling but familiar voice.

“Let her go, you bastard!” James shouted, taking a step in your direction.

You hissed as the blade was pushed into your skin, and you felt a drop of blood begin to trickle down your throat.

James’ face immediately went pale and he froze.

“That’s it, Potter, stay still now shall we? And everything will be fine.”

The blade came off and you were harshly turned around only to find yourself staring into the cold and murderous eyes of your older brother, Alexander. You stared him down with deep hatred.

“You son of a bitch!”

“Tut, tut, now that is no way to greet your brother now is it?” He spoke in a calm but deadly voice, mocking you endlessly like always.

“You don’t deserve my manners.” You gritted out.

You whined as Alexander grabbed and yanked your hair. James let out a cry of protest.

“You’ve gotten some guts after running away, haven’t you filthy blood traitor?” He said, harshly grabbing your face. He thrust you down onto the ground.

“Let’s see if you still have the power to go through this- Crucio!”

You let out a blood curdling scream as your body felt on fire, as if knives and needles were cutting into your whole being. James let out a cry, watching you writhe on the ground in pain as Alexander looked down upon you with a wicked grin.

“STOP IT!”

Alexander looked up from you to James and waved his wand, making you go quiet as the spell lifted. You were left panting heavily on the ground as your body felt beyond tired and tears raced down your cheeks.

“Y/n…” James uttered hollowly, he quickly moved forth and bent down by your side, gently cupping your face so you could look at him.

“James?” You breathed out, feeling a bit disoriented.

“Aw, quite the love you both share now don’t you?” Your brother’s menacing voice rang out, “Why let one person have all the fun?”

You jolted up as you heard James drop by you, screaming at the top of his lungs. You tried to grab him but he was too lost within the pain to realize. You sharply turned to look at Alexander, who was already watching you with his sinister smile.

“Stop it!” You cried, tears racing down your cheeks, “Stop it, please!” You begged, looking back at James and shutting your eyes in pain from the sight. The screams stopped and you opened your eyes to see the unforgivable had been lifted. You repeated what James had done only mere minutes before with you.

“James.”

The young Potter slowly sat up, cupping your face as well, “Are you alright?” You nodded.

“And you?”

“I think so.”

A mocking laugh filled the air. “What a lovely little scene here!” He practically cackled, “Oh but we will need to end it,” And the Slytherin raised his wand again to cast a spell.

“No!” You shouted, watching as your brother’s eyes widened on you, almost as if he knew. “Leave James alone. You want me, you can do whatever you want to me, but please for the love of Merlin, leave James alone.”

Alexander gazed back at you with what seemed to be a triumphant expression, as his plan was working exactly as he wanted.

“Y/n-“

“As you wish. You two,” Alexander barked at the other two death eaters, “Grab Potter, make sure he can’t play any tricks.”

Before James could react, the remaining two hooded figures grabbed James harshly, pulling him away from you. James began to thrash around and resist.

You were pushed back onto the pavement hard, as your brother kneeled beside you, brandishing his knife.

“This should be fun.”

He put the blade to your forearm and began to slice the layers of skin, earning cries of pain from you as he held you down with his other hand.

“Y/N!” James shouted out in anguish. He began to thrash around harder to set himself free, however the grip of the two death eaters on him was quite tight. James sobbed as he watched that cruel and vile person pierce into your beautiful skin. James sobbed harder at your cries of pain.

Alexander tortured you slowly and deliberately, relishing in your screams and cries.

“Now do you regret having turned against us?” The older Slytherin barked at you.

You sobbed, watching him through watery eyes.

“No.”

His victorious smile vanished as his face hardened. He swiftly stood up and shouted, “Crucio!”

You let out a blood curdling scream once again, as wave upon wave of unbearable pain hit you, over and over again.

Suddenly the spell was lifted as you cried curled in on yourself. You were too lost within your mind and pain to have realized that Remus and Sirius had managed to make their way to your and James’ part of the neighborhood, followed by the Prewett twins. They all worked together and overpowered Alexander and his allies, while James immediately rushed over to you.

James felt his heart shatter over and over again at the sound of your every scream, of every pained breath, of every anguished cry.

James’ hands shook as he grabbed you, pulling your injured body to him, hugging your head to his chest.

“I’m here, Y/n/n, I’m here.” He spoke as he tried to gather you up in his arms to take you back for treatment.

You spoke very quietly, your eyelids barely open as you tried to look at him.

“It hurts so bad, James.”

James swallowed the sob wanting to escape. He had to be strong for you.

“I know, love, but I promise you it will get better once I get you to the medical team, yeah?”

You didn’t respond, too wrapped inside yourself to give an answer back but James began to really panic as he apparated back to Headquarters. He was met with the medical team, which was led by Lily. Her eyes widened upon seeing your bloody and unconscious body in James’ arms, getting a strong sense of deja vu.

“Lay her in her room.” Lily immediately ordered and followed James, waving her wand which levitated the supplies she needed, which whizzed behind her.

James gently laid you on your own bed, watching with a dry mouth as every breath you took pained your body. Oh how could he let this happen to someone as sweet and loving as you? What if something happens to you, what would he do?

James kneeled by your bedside, holding your limp hand between his two, leaning his forehead on the clasped hands.

“Please be alright, love.” James cried, “I can’t lose you.”

And suddenly, the thought of losing you for good scared him so bad that he came to a new conclusion entirely, shocking him wholly.

Oh Merlin, James Potter was in love.

James Potter was in love with Y/n L/n.

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A/N: So that was the latest update! I hope everyone liked it, Jamie's finally realized it, YAY! The next part will be out soon! Take care! <33

Wizard Buddies (Taglist): @quack-quack-snacks @jamespottergf @themarauderswife7 @amethyistheart @neverthatsirius-jo

[beananacake]

My Crown Upon Your Head (Ch. 2)

Prince!Bucky Barnes x Reader

Synopsis: When an arranged engagement between Prince James of Brookland and Princess Natasha ushers the discovery of the existence of a marriage contract between you and said prince, you readily agree to a divorce for the sake of the kingdom. At first, you had been willing to be separated from Prince James but as you spend more time with your husband, you begin to feel things that are forbidden. It does not help your case when James shares the same sentiments. As you combat the emotions that excite and scare you, the discoveries you make of the people that surround you make you suspect there is something else at play...

WC: 4.9K

Warnings: period-typical misogyny, 18+ for delicate issues, mentions of war, Sam and Bucky are slightly out of character but let's just say it's for the sake of the fic, more of exposition in this one, large chunks of paragraphs, badly translated language

A/N: I will officially OPEN a TAGLIST! I cannot keep a fixed schedule for updating MCUYH so anyone who wants to be included, just comment down on the fic or maybe send me a message (my ask box is being annoying so it's useless atm). Please enjoy!

It was an unusual request that you asked for lemons and lavenders with your writing materials but they delivered. You merely said that they were for you to bite on but truly, the lemons were for writing a message that only your father could decipher. What was once a simple trick your father had taught you during your travels was now your only means of communicating with him without the rest of the palace knowing. You had only used it for important missives and what else could be more important than for your father to know that you had been married to the prince and that you were to be kept to the palace indefinitely.

You wrote carefully, telling him to keep the information to himself. You had no ambitions of being a princess and the irony of you being one—or being deemed ambitious by the Grand Duke—was not lost on you. You kept your secret message short and concise, and you also told him no promises of future missives lest you be found out. Once you were finished with the lemon ink, you let it dry and took to writing the obvious message with ink. You scribbled, in between the lines written in lemon juice, your request for your trunks, writing implements, and the many books you were supposed to be reading. The visible letter was short and direct and you sealed it with wax and a sprig of lavender—your unofficial insignia—so your father would immediately know that the message was from you.

When you have sent your letter, you met with the Head Housekeeper. She assigned to you a personal lady’s maid and had two girls prepare a bath for you and another to bring you an appropriate change of clothing. The Duke of Queensfield is bound to arrive by nightfall and the King will not want his guest to appear unprepared, she had said as she looked at you sternly. You cannot find fault in that; you still smelled like the salt of the sea and you did not want to further scandalize people with your unusual choice of clothing.

“What shall I call you, miss?” asked the maid—Wanda, she replied when you asked of her name—as she scrubbed your shoulders with warm water and simple soap. You had told her that you were fine with bathing yourself but the surprise on her face made you realize that you had made a terrible faux pas. Of course, guests of the king were expected to be waited on hand and foot.

“Y/N, please,” you replied. “I am all but noble so please do not burden yourself with titles to call me. If you are uncomfortable with calling me by my name, you can continue calling me ‘miss.’”

“I must confess, miss, I am inexperienced as a lady’s maid. I had only been an apprentice mere months before the queen passed.” Wanda told you humbly.

“I do not have my own personal lady’s maid.” You told her in confidence. “All that you do is of great help to me already.”

Wanda’s eyes were owlish on her face when she turned to you in surprise. She was a beautiful little thing despite the frailness and pointedness of her features. Her hair, an enviable shade of titian, was pulled severely in a bun on her nape and gave her a look that was beyond her years. The softness of her accented voice, however, betrayed the maturity of her features—she could not be any older than twenty.

You smiled gently at her. “I am unbearably common, Wanda.”

“It is rare for the king to house a common guest, miss, if you do not mind me saying.”

“I find my situation quite uncommon for a commoner like me.” You let her wash off the lather. “Your accent. It is familiar but I cannot place it.”

She paused in her ministrations, looking at you once more with her green eyes, before returning to her task. “I was from Sokovia,” she said simply.

Was. Such a simple word but it conveyed a thousand griefs. You knew of Sokovia, of the disaster that had been wrought by powerful countries at war. Sokovia was not at fault for existing in between two quarrelling nations. It was unfortunate to have been in the middle of it all. It had been all too sudden; the call for war happened unexpectedly that they had not amassed an army in time to defend themselves. It was the decimation of its capital city of Novi Grad that had put an end to the existence of such small but promising land.

“Forgive me.” You touched Wanda’s hand, squeezing it gently to convey your sympathies. “I would not have asked if I had known.”

“It is of little consequences now. My home is now here, in Brookland. To work for the kingdom is an honor, miss.”

You smiled gently. “Our monarchs are kind and just.”

“Yes. Most especially the queen, may her soul rest.” She hummed a regret-filled sound. “When she died, the whole kingdom was devastated. Since then, the king had been in poor health. He is worried for the kingdom’s future should he soon follow his wife.”

You let her dry you and bring your chemise before you pressed on with more of your questions.

“Is the prince incapable of ruling?” you asked as you adjusted the cotton garment against your body.

You had known princes were schooled into being future monarchs since their infancy. Perhaps Prince James was otherwise engaged in other matters, especially in that of being a soldier.

Wanda laced your stays as she replied.

“Prince James is very capable, miss. However, the king has stipulated that the kingdom be ruled by a king and a queen. He has to marry before he ascends the throne.” She passed you a modesty petticoat and, once worn, fastened a heavy hoop skirt around your waist.

Of course. It was the very reason you were called for, after all. Your presence had been a great hindrance to the future of the kingdom. With you still legally wed to the prince, he would not be able to marry the Grand Duke’s niece.

“Does he have a bride he wishes to wed?” you asked, bobbing as she brought another two more petticoats and the outer skirt overhead. “Are your privy to that information?”

Any woman, noble or not, would be curious about the future queen of the kingdom. Even one married to said prince.

“The Grand Duke’s niece, miss. It is said she is a Princess from Russia.”

A princess. It was now truly understandable why the Grand Duke was irate with you. Who else was a better match for the prince than a princess?

The butterflies in your stomach fluttered as you remembered James’s intense gaze. He had looked over at you appreciatively even in your disheveled state, and you had reacted in a way that had only been shown in Shakespeare’s comedies. There was a flutter of excitement that coursed through you at the sight of his appraising eyes—heady, potent, foreign; it made you feel silly. You knew you were flustered when you had looked at him, felt the heat rise and color your cheeks, and you made an utter fool of yourself by giving an ungraceful curtsy. You were often calm and collected in the face of royalty, always poised and proper, and in that moment, you stumbled. All because of your husband.

Oh, dear.  

You needed to stop calling him thus, even in your thoughts. The king would have you punished if he ever caught you referring to the prince as your husband.

Wanda rearranged the many petticoats under your skirt before running a flat palm down to keep it in place. She took a similarly colored bodice and fastened its buttons at your back. You faced the mirror and stifled a gasp when you saw your reflection. The dress was a confection of delicate lace and beautiful pink silk taffeta. The bodice was left bare, save for the intricately made neckline. Seed pearls and violet-hued gemstones were sewn with gold thread in elegant, floral motifs across your chest. Lace as delicate as a spider’s web cascaded just beneath it, fluttering at the slightest touch of the wind. Short, puffed sleeves of the same pink taffeta and cream-colored lace were gathered with a delicate pink bow on your arm. The layers of flounce that encircled the skirt may have dated the dress to the fashion of the yesteryears but it did not diminish the inherent beauty. It was simple yet opulent; it was a testament of Brookland’s quiet riches. And it fit perfectly as though it was made for you.

“Oh, how beautiful,” you gushed. It was a dress fit for a royal. “But I feel I am not fit to wear it. Such a dress would be missed by its owner. I am perfectly fine to receive a simple frock.”

“The late queen did not have much simple dresses, miss,” Wanda remarked as she bent down to fasten your shoes.

“I beg your pardon?” You must have misheard. Surely, the palace would not have lent you a gown from the late queen’s personal closets. “You mean to tell me this belonged to Queen Winnifred?”

“Yes, miss. Our Sunday’s bests are not fit to be worn to a receiving of the Duke of Queensfield, and the Head Housekeeper’s dresses would not have fit you properly without being taken in. This dress seemed the most fitting to present to you.” Your maid replied innocently.

Of course. If only your trunks had arrived during your bath, you would have a choice of dress albeit not as elegant as the one you were in. It is only a matter of clothing, Y/N. Princess Shuri had even lent her ceremonial robes to me when I needed them, you thought to yourself. Yes. There was no need for you to worry overmuch with your appearance. In the meantime, you would relish the feel of wearing Brookland’s fineries on your body.

“The Grand Duke, he is not a Brook,” you said when you sat before your vanity.

Wanda had insisted to style your hair and you agreed, knowing a simple plait would not be appropriate for meeting the prince’s cousin.

“No, miss. He was a part of the Sokovian nobility.” Wanda replied as she combed and pinned your hair.

“I see. Was he the highest ranking official who had been exiled here?”

“I do not think so. Although, he had been the only one who wished to serve the king.”

It was no wonder why his niece had been chosen as the prince’s bride. If the saying was true—that the Sokovians were unfailingly loyal—then the king could not have chosen a better future queen for the kingdom. It was another reason why you must divorce the prince as soon as you can.

You dismissed Wanda when she had finished with your hair but not before thanking her for her help. You strode out of your room with a new sense of purpose. Any book on the politics of the kingdom would be a great help to you and to this predicament you put yourself in. The palace library would have housed these scholarly books you needed.

You had a vague memory of where the library was, supposing it hadn’t been moved in the last twenty years since you had been here. You recalled it being situated near the gardens on the east of the grand staircase, with ornate double doors of gold gilding. Portraits of the current royal family and ones of the prince should be hung on either side of its entryway. You went down the grand staircase and headed right, smiling politely at the stunned footmen who hastily opened the doors to the library for you.

The scent of wood and books assaulted your nose before you saw the richly decorated library. Dark oak shelves were teeming with books of all shapes and sizes and it reached up to the grandly decorated ceilings. There were murals of heavenly bodies painted on the dome, of vibrantly colored scenarios that told of religious histories and Brookland’s myths and legends, and each panel was artfully done as the next one. Arched windows with views of the palace gardens gave ample lighting to the otherwise dark room. In the middle of it all lay two opulently carved long tables; each bearing candles, sheafs of paper, and writing materials. A mezzanine wrapped around the room; the shelves on it housing even more volumes. At the opposite side, a cavernous marble fireplace blazed generously.

On any other time, you would have perused every title of the books held within but for now, you settled for any book on Brookland’s laws and constitution. You walked over to the section of the library where you assumed housed those books and, pulling out one on the subject of constitution, settled by a window as you started to read.

You were not educated much in Brookland’s laws but you knew that the volume you were reading had been outdated, evidenced by a passage saying that land disputes must be settled with blood through fisticuffs to the death. It was barbaric and antiquated and it made you go to the mezzanine to find another book that may have held the answers you were looking for.

A tome on matters regarding matrimony caught your eye and you pulled it out. It was dated to the last century but still, it was recent enough for you to study. You opened it to the contents table and scanned its pages as you slowly came down the spiral steps.

“Mein Gott!”

A rustle of papers made you look up and to the eyes of Grand Duke Zemo. He stared at you in alarm, his skin turning a deathly pale that you had not realized was possible for someone of his complexion. His mouth was hung open in shock and his hands trembled as the papers wafted from them.

You quickly executed a curtsy to the surprised man. “Your Grace.”

“Wie konntest du hier sein? Du bist tot!”

His eyes were wide and unseeing; his gaze passed right through you.

“Are you all right, Grand Duke?” You asked worriedly.

You stood there, unmoving; afraid that suddenly doing so would spook the already-terrified man. It had been some time before a noise disturbed the eerie silence of the library. The loud cracking of the fireplace from behind you effectively shook him from his stupor.

He blinked in rapid succession, the glazed look in his eyes vanishing as he saw you. Color returned to his cheeks until they were tinted an angry shade of red. “I thought I had seen Queen Winnifred.” He whispered harshly.

“Forgive me.” You said, although you did not know why. It only seemed to be the appropriate response at the moment. You flattened a hand down the front of your dress. “My trunks had not arrived and the Head Housekeeper had offered for me to wear Her Majesty’s dress.”

He stared openly at you, his sharp eyes roaming about your figure. Gooseflesh prickled at the trail his eyes left on your skin. He finally turned away to pick at his fallen items and you stood there awkwardly, waiting for him to dismiss you.

“What are you doing here?” he asked instead as he placed his items on the table.

“I was hoping to find something to read, Your Grace.” you replied, watching as he lit a candle. “There was a book on the constitution of Brookland—”

He raised a disbelieving brow as he glanced at you. “First, you marry the prince and now, you wish to learn more about the laws of the land?”

His question oozed incredulity and judgement.

“What shall be next? You will turn us out of the palace?” He scoffed. “Do not fancy yourself helping us out of this problem. You have made one mistake already, girl. God knows you would be creating another one for me to solve.”

You kept silent. It was unjust of him to think of you so, especially when you and he were towards the same goal. You did not want to remain married to the prince for long—heaven knows you were not brought up for such a task—but Grand Duke Zemo did not have to be nasty in his refusal of your help.

“Find some light reading,” he said. “Girls like you cannot comprehend the legislations of the land. There is a book on flowers that I find befits someone of your stature.”

You gave a polite but strained smile. A string of explanations sat at the tip of your tongue but you withheld it. It was futile to argue with the man, much more when he yielded power over you.

“Thank you, Grand Duke.” You replied shortly. “If you could point me to the direction of those books, I would be happy to take one.”

“Such impudence,” he murmured before grudgingly pointing at one corner of the room.

Taking the heavy tome, you replaced it before heading towards the section of the botany books. There was an array of them, all of botany but of different subjects. You also saw the different languages of the books, more artfully designed than the others. The foreign books appeared untouched, the gold foil of the titles still complete and glinting in the sun.

There was a section of German books and you plucked one out of the many unblemished volumes. You also took two sheets of paper and a pencil from the table when you descended.

“I shall bid you good day, Your Grace.” You curtsied in his general direction. He waved his hand at you dismissively and it cued you to leave the awful man alone.

In the very least, you knew where the library was located. The book about the laws of the land would have to wait. This book on botany, however it came to your possession, looked interesting. You were conversant in many a language, reading this German book would not pose a problem. It would keep you occupied while you waited for your trunks to arrive.

…

…

…

From his window, James watched as you emerged to the garden.

If he were honest with himself, he would say he was disappointed that you weren’t wearing your breeches and shirt anymore and that he could not admire your shapely figure but with the dress you had now donned, there was no mistaking the contours of your body. He had not had this visceral reaction to the Princess Natasha’s portrait, but then again, he had not seen her in the flesh. You, however, he had seen and admired. There was no mistaking what a great beauty you were and he would be blind to deny such visible truth to himself.

He could not find it in him to be angry with you. It was a peculiar situation you both had gotten into, the innocent intentions and legally binding contracts. His memory of you had rang clear in his head by the time he finished speaking with his father; he remembered your hope for a friendship with him, your eagerness in trying to copy your father’s way of sealing such relationships, and the way you were excited when you both had—unintentionally—sealed each other’s fate. It was simply laughable and not worth getting furious over, unlike his father and the Grand Duke Zemo.

With a renewed sense of vigor, James headed towards the garden. The ledgers had become awfully boring and the numbers had started to swim before his eyes. He had not even touched the missives that had piled on his desk lest he misunderstand important matters. This is a much needed reprieve, he convinced himself. I will do better once I have taken a stroll in the gardens.

He was determined to get to know you, that much was true. Even if you were not to remain married for long, he was eager to learn more about you. King George had said that you had traveled to different kingdoms and territories with your diplomat father and had lived in those places for nearly all your life. You were foreign as much as you were a Brook; that in itself was fascinating to him. Among other things, that is.

“Your Royal Highness, I suppose the reason for your rushing is so we can train,” came an amused, sarcastic voice behind him.

James stopped and turned towards its source. Samuel Wilson, the Captain of the Royal Guards, walked towards the prince with an air of equal parts amusement and frustration.  

“Whyever would you think otherwise?” James asked, a brow quirked at the obvious jape.

“You have been avoiding all my attempts at getting you to train.” remarked Sam. “Is it so hard to pick up your sword again? You had not been the same since the battle in Sokovia. A little movement should take away the laziness in you.”

“I had not been evading you and I am not lazy. I have had other important matters to attend to.” The prince exited the building with Captain Wilson trailing behind him. “And besides, don’t you tire of losing to me?”

Where were you? James thought as he scanned for you in the gardens. You could not have moved so quickly in the short time he went down to find you.

“I have never lost to you. I was simply bolstering your already inflated ego. And if you’re looking for the mysterious miss, she’s due west.” Sam said.

“I am not looking for her,” James replied hastily, much to his chagrin.

“Of course,” Sam said in a false grave tone. There was an unmistakable knowing grin in his words.

“I am not,” insisted James but approached you anyway.

He did not want to disturb your peace. You were poring over a book on the table while your hands were busy over a piece of paper. Scribbling, perhaps? he thought to himself as he watched you.

“I shall go and introduce myself.” Sam told him as he strode on ahead.

James followed behind him, taking on an impassive air so he did not seem overeager as he approached you. It had been a while since he last felt this way about a woman. It had been with Dolores—Dottie, as how he came to know her. She was an interesting character; ambitious for a mere daughter of a seamstress but wise beyond her years. A pity it was that he could not continue his friendship with her; the call for war drove the two of them apart. As he fought, she had gotten married. James was rightly heartbroken but he knew it would not have stood against his father. Princes married with royals, as was the custom.

“Sam Wilson, Captain of the Royal Guards, at your service.” Sam said as he bowed before you.

Against the backdrop of the high summer sun and the palace garden blooms, you appeared resplendent.

“Good day, Captain Wilson.” You smiled gently. You turned to James and curtsied. “Your Royal Highness.”

The wind tousled at your carefully coifed hair. Lemon and lavender, he thought as he caught a whiff of your scent.

James cleared his throat, which had become uncommonly tight. “Sam, this is Miss Y/N. She is my father’s guest.”

“Miss Y/N,” Sam repeated. He took your hand in his and placed a kiss atop it.

“I’ve heard stories of your triumphs in the war.” You told Sam, a polite smile gracing your face. “It must be quite a task to be commanding so many soldiers in the battlefield.”

“It is no simple feat. Prince James wishes he could command the army as I have,” Sam said with a sly grin.

James rolled his eyes. Disparity of their classes aside, Sam often jested with the prince and vice versa. But even if he and the captain were close friends, he had not told the captain as to why you were present in the palace. He knew it would do more harm than good to tell him of your relationship with each other. His father had been adamant that he divorce the two of you quietly so he could push through with James’s wedding to the Princess Natasha.

“I do not wish to command them, Sam. I do.” James said as he puffed his chest out with pride.

You snickered, then promptly apologized when both men turned to you with equally surprised looks.

“Oh, do forgive me. I do not recall ever seeing such a display of bravado since a proud young panther pounced at the older, more worldly one for a piece of food in Wakanda.” You rambled, a rosy tint rising on your cheeks.

At that, James laughed.

Any person would have cowered at the sight of the prince and the captain of the Royal Guards but not you. You were natural and you spoke your mind with such ease that it made him admire, as well as envy, you. There was no pretense or false modesty about you and it was refreshing for him to see that you weren’t one to fall at his feet and wax poetic about his title or his dashing good looks.

“And who won?” Sam asked, his eyes gleaming with curiosity.  

“One panther or another. I did not stay long enough.” You told him, adopting a serious mien. “Otherwise, I would have been their next meal.”

James smiled deeply. Your wit was sharp. It was a rarity these days. Most often, he was faced with a bumbling fool or a stammering twit.

You were also a proficient artist, he remarked, as he took in the array of papers on the table. You were sketching the flower that was on your book, halfway done by the looks of it. And intelligent as well, he silently mused as he saw the language of the book. He knew not many other people who had studied German; it was arduous language and was commonly taught to the children of noblemen and royalty. Most certainly it was not taught to the common folk.  

Every little thing he uncovered about you made him all the more curious.

“You study plants?” James asked as he motioned to your sketch. And a remarkable one at that, he thought approvingly.

You cast a furtive grimace at its direction. “Oh, no. The Grand Duke suggested that I read a book on flowers because it befits me instead of taking the book I was intending to read.”

He raised a brow at that. Zemo may appear hawkish but the man was as meek as a church mouse. “And what was it that you wanted to read?”

When you caught a rosy lip between your teeth as you hesitated, it was a surprise that he did not catch on fire on the spot at the heat that coursed through him.

“I was reading about the constitution and the laws of the land, Your Royal Highness.” you said after a moment’s hesitation.

“Whatever for?” Sam asked.  “If you do not mind my asking.”

James had momentarily forgotten his friend was present.

You turned your attentions to the Captain, hesitance still marring your face. “My… friend desires to learn of the grounds of separation. She is convinced she isn’t a fit match for her husband.”

“If I may inquire, why is the lady convinced she is not suit for her husband?”

“For one, her husband is so above her in stature. It is an unusual marriage, if I dare say so, Captain.” Your eyes met James’s as you went on. “They had unmistakably signed a marriage contract and had been bound since.”

There was uncertainty in your eyes as you looked at him. In anticipation for my reaction? James wondered. Your offense was great in King George’s eyes but to him, it was comical. Absurd and laughable. If Sir William Shakespeare were alive and present, he would have another comedy in his hands.

But it was a matter between you and him. Sam need not hear nor know of it.

“Yes, highly unusual.” Sam remarked. “But no matter. Should you wish to return to the library, I am certain His Royal Highness would be of great help to you.”

The prince nodded, hiding his surprise at being mentioned by his friend. “Yes, of course.” He leaned in towards you, a secret smile on his face. “Although, I must warn you, the language the laws were written in are not in German. Most are in Latin.”

You smiled and a dimple sank into your cheek. “It is no matter. So long as all of them are not wholly in Latin, then I think I shall understand it.”

James found himself mesmerized; his eyes trained on your lips for longer than what was allowed. They were petal-like, soft, and fresh.

“I’m afraid I must excuse myself.” Sam said suddenly. “I do not think Prince James would be coming with me to practice his swordplay so I shall leave him in your hands.”

“Oh.” You said, surprised, and turned to the Captain. “I’ve no intention of stealing him from his training, Captain.”

“And I believe he has no intention of coming to it.” Sam said wryly. He took your hand and bowed over it. “It was a pleasure to have met you, Miss Y/N.”

You smiled. “The pleasure is all mine, Captain Wilson.”

As Sam vanished behind the doors, James turned to you.

“Shall we take a turn about the gardens, Miss Y/N?”

[wastelandmoony]

Déjà Vécu

Chapter Thirty-One : End of Beginning

Summary: Last school chapter =) Enjoy any happiness while you can.

Characters: Remus Lupin/Reader, Sirius Black/Reader (no use of y/n), James Potter, Petter Pettigrew, Regulus Black, Marlene McKinnon, Mary MacDonald, Lily Evans

Warnings: 18+ Only, Minors DNI

A/N: Having a rough time mentally, so I'm not going to beat myself up about my less-than-thrilled feelings about this chapter. I've begun writing post-war chapters, and I'm excited to be transitioning out of Hogwarts. Also, if you've messaged me recently about being on a taglist, I answered everyone privately and have realized I can't go back and get your handles. So please message me again and I'll add it =)

Déjà Vécu Masterlist

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September 1st, 1977

“My little witch is all grown up!” Tears streamed down her mother’s face as they entered Platform 9 3/4. The entire drive to King’s Cross, the crushing reality of this final train ride to Hogwarts began to sink in.

This was it. The chapter was coming to a close. 

She hugged her parents tightly, which she tried to do as much as possible nowadays. The news was getting bleaker and bleaker, the Daily Prophet trying to sweep as much of it under the rug as they could. Those that dared print any iota of the truth usually ended up disappearing, the whisperings of such occurrences becoming more frequent. Luckily, James’ parents had begun to include him in more of their discussions, leading to the rest of them hearing the truth in great detail. He’d written her in mid-august, after Sirius had arrived back at Potter manor, to give an update on the efforts being port forth by people like his parents. He also implored her to find out who Sirius’ suspected new girlfriend was, disclosing that their friend had been acting “slightly less insane and kept sneaking off to send owls”. She didn’t respond, just laughed and mentioned it to Sirius in her next letter. They’d agreed to not address their relationship with the others just yet, waiting to put it off until the school year and live for a few more weeks amongst their own little secret. There were no titles spoken of, no boyfriend or girlfriend, partner or lover; they were just…together. Sirius was hers, and she was his; and that was enough for them both.

James appeared on the train platform first, unruly hair catching her eye before his enthusiastic wave. Following quickly behind was Peter, who looked distant and preoccupied, and finally Sirius, who smiled broadly when he caught sight of who James was staring at. Racing towards them, she launched into Sirius’ arms as he tossed his bags to the ground. Cradling her face, he kissed her earnestly. From beside them, Peter openly groaned.

“It’s about bloody time!” James sighed loudly, the smile evident in his voice. Sirius gave his best friend a rude gesture, never breaking the kiss in the process.

“Oh no, are we going to have to deal with this for the foreseeable future?” Remus had walked up behind them, the sound of his voice had her pulling away with a slight grin.

“Hi Moony, sorry I didn’t write much,” she hugged him in greeting.

He squeezed her, “It’s alright, you were obviously occupied.” 

She pinched him, leading to a sly smirk from Remus. He kissed the top of her head, “I’m happy for you, love,” he whispered into her ear.

Sirius threw a leather-clad arm around her shoulders, motioning towards the train, “Alright then, Head Boy, lead the way.”

She followed his gaze to James, “What?! Jamie!”

He blushed at the attention, “Oh, uh, yeah…Lily’s made Head Girl too actually.”

“That’s an extremely unsurprising, yet serendipitous decision,” she laughed, “Congratulations, you deserve it.”

“Yeah, he’s a proper arsehole now—ow!” Sirius cradled his side where she’d elbowed him.

James smiled fondly at her, picking up his trunk and leading them all onto the Hogwarts Express one last time. 

———

November 5th, 1977

She’d never been this drunk at a party before. The entire Gryffindor Common Room was a blur of scarlet and and gold, bodies packed tight while the Clash played loudly through the speakers. Sirius had wanted an all out banger for his final birthday at Hogwarts, inviting essentially any warm body (and a few ghosts) to the tower for a night “full of debauchery” as he had put it to anyone that would listen. Earlier in the afternoon she had given him his present, a new album from the Sex Pistols. Sirius had hearts in his eyes listening to the opening song, only pulling himself away to lock the dormitory door and kiss his way across her body. They had spent the rest of the afternoon tangled in each other, with only the sound of Pretty Vacant on repeat to muffle their unholy noises from the rest of the residents of the tower. 

At midnight, Lily brought out the birthday cake with the help of James, the two of them getting the entire tower to sing along while Sirius sat against the arm of the couch beaming. He reached out and pulled her onto his lap, holding tight as he waited to blow out his candles. After making a little show of pretending to “think” about his wish, he finally extinguished them, planting a gentle kiss to her shoulder in the process. 

“What’d you wish for?” She asked, turning around to face him once everyone had gone back to dancing, or drinking, or doing…whatever it was they were doing. 

Sirius nuzzled against her neck, “You know precisely what I wished for, love.”

She hummed, skimming a hand down his spine, “…only if you’re a good boy tonight.”

He looked up at her with heavy lids, from the firewhisky or lust or both, she wasn’t quite sure. Distracted by his gaze, she let out a surprised gasp as his hand snaked its way around to grab her backside obscenely. 

“Bad dog…” she purred, kissing him once as he tried to wander his hands further. “I’m going to go get some air, it’s too hot in here.” One last soft kiss, and she wiggled out of his grasp just as James and Remus came over to ask him to settle an apparently desperate argument having to do with quidditch. 

The corridor outside of the common room was chilly in the most delicious way, and she practically moaned with relief as the portrait swung shut. She inhaled deeply and sighed. The floor felt like it was spinning a little bit. She should probably sit down or something. 

She opened her eyes and saw a friendly face leaning against the window, a bottle of firewhisky in his hand. 

“Hey Pete,” she smiled, joining him against the wall. He didn’t return the warm welcome, just hummed in acknowledgement. “You alright?” She dragged her eyes over his face, something was up, he never acted so cold with her. A look down at the bottle pointed to him being completely off his face.

Peter shifted on his feet, “I’m fine. Just…relaxing.”

“I was wondering where you’d gone off to, I didn’t see you when we sang to Sirius,” even in her drunken state she sensed his tense energy and tried to keep the conversation light. 

“Oh yeah?” He said almost sarcastically, “I didn’t think anyone had noticed.”

She shook her head slightly and let out a laugh, “What’re you talking about, Pete? Of course I’d notice if you—“

“How long have I been gone then?” He asked a little too aggressively for her liking.

“I…I don’t know Peter, I’ve been drinking and—“

“Yeah, I know. I also know that your favorite drink is firewhisky mixed with cider, you’ve had four of them already tonight. You only dance to Abba, but you’ll always keep time with your foot to every song you hear. You absolutely loathe potions, but you always light up whenever you figure out the best way to combine ingredients. Your favorite color is orange, but not like pumpkin orange; bold and dramatic like a sunset. You always scrunch your nose before a bludger hit. Your deepest fear is failure, and you still hate the fact that you were put in Hufflepuff even though you pretend you don’t.”

She stared at her friend, completely at a loss for any words as he continued on his tirade. 

“I know that you talk to Remus somehow through that book you always carry.”

“How do you—“ her heart beat faster, the only other person to know about that was Sirius.

“I also know you’ve been sneaking into our dormitory for over a year to sleep in Sirius’ bed.” His tone bordered on accusatory. She continued to stare, dumbfounded by all of it. 

“Don’t tell me that you notice me,” Pete held her gaze steady for someone that had a half-empty bottle of whisky in his hand, “Because I would know a thing or two about noticing people.”

“You’re wrong,” she whispered, voice cracking slightly. The corridor had stopped tilting, but the air was heavy with discomfort as she gathered her bearings.

Peter took a step closer towards her, “I’m sorry?” 

She cleared her throat, “I said you’re wrong. My biggest fear isn’t failure.”

Peter’s laugh was on the verge of bitterness, “Yeah? What is it then, Sirius breaking up with you when he finally gets bored?”

Oh.

Ouch. Is this what it felt like to be stabbed? She was pretty sure he had just jammed a serrated knife into her abdomen. 

“No, Peter,” she spat, curling her fists to avoid him seeing her shaking hands, “My biggest fear is losing the people I love, which includes you, believe it or not.”

Before she could move, Peter grabbed her face and kissed her. She froze for a moment, too drunk to fully comprehend what in the actual fuck was going on. Carefully, she grabbed both of his hands and pushed him back gently. “Peter—“

“What the fuck are you playing at, Pete?”

Sirius was standing in the open portrait entrance, eyes narrowed on his friend, full of rage and betrayal. 

“Sirius it’s fine, just a misunderstanding—“ she started, as he ignored her to push Peter against the wall.

“Stop!” She stood between them, taking Sirius’ face between her palms. “Look at me, Siri.”

Reluctantly, his blue eyes slid to her, “We’re all shit-faced. Let’s go upstairs and go to bed. Everything’s fine.”

“I don’t want him to touch you. I don’t want anyone to touch you,” she could hear the anger in his voice, the same kind she had heard last year in the forest. The same sadness and fear was present too, just beneath the surface. Unsure of what to say, she kissed him. 

“I don’t want anyone else to touch me, Sirius,” she said against his lips, “I love you.”

He stopped and stared at her through heavy lids, mouth still centimeters from hers.

“Say that again.”

“I love you?”

He kissed her softly, “again.”

“I love you.”

He picked her up and she began to laugh, carrying her back toward the common room.

“I’m going to make you scream it so loud the entire tower hears,” he growled into her ear.

As the portrait swung shut, she noticed that Peter had disappeared, and the corridor was empty, save for a half empty whisky bottle. 

———

December 23, 1977

As a collective, they had decided to remain at Hogwarts for the winter holidays, to be together one last time in the place they all called home. All of them, except for Peter. 

She had tried to convince him to stay, even going as far as to bribe him with promises to complete the rest of his essays for the year. He had declined every offer. His reasoning allegedly that his parents were going through a tough time, and they wanted to be together for the holidays. She couldn’t argue with that, not when she’d do the same for her family. The feeling was bittersweet as she hugged her friend goodbye on the last day of term, the promises of fun and mischief on the horizon for the next week shadowed by the fractured dynamic now that they’d be missing one piece of the puzzle. They hadn’t spoken about the night of Sirius’ birthday party, the three of them choosing instead to chalk it up to drunken stupidity and sweep it under the rug. But she hadn’t forgotten the way he had spoken to her, how his eyes held such despair and pain. None of it was normal, not for Pete, who was usually quiet and sweet and always made her smile no matter what. Something was going on, she just needed to do some digging. 

Pete squeezed her hand once before leaving for the carriage ride over to Hogsmeade station, offering a small reassuring smile before disappearing from the Great Hall that morning. Sirius pulled her onto his lap at the breakfast table, her eyes still focused on Peter exiting the main doors, “Stop worrying,” he murmured into a kiss on her temple. 

“I’m not,” she lied.

He gently grabbed her chin to turn towards him, “You’re getting that little crease between your eyebrows, don’t lie to me, Yellowjacket.” She shot him an annoyed glare, trying to not break into a smile. 

“So what’s the plan?” Mary leaned forward to look expectantly at the rest of them down the table. 

James beamed, “Whatever we want, the castle is ours.”

———

Apparently “whatever we want” meant different things to each person involved. 

James and Lily snuck away to ‘explore the grounds’ (which they all knew was code for feeling each other up in the Prefects bathroom); Mary had turned the Common Room into her own personal nightclub, blasting music and dancing around atop the furniture while Marlene and Dorcas played games on the rug by the fire; Remus and her had decided to spend a relaxing afternoon in the library reading, much to Sirius’ annoyance. He had wanted to start a pick-up game of quidditch now that the pitch would be guaranteed empty, but ended up grabbing his broom and heading out solo. 

Madam Pince scowled when Remus and her entered the deserted library, angry that her solitary literary oasis was now tainted by their smiling faces. Making a beeline for their preferred table in the corner of the second floor, she pulled out a few books and settled in across from Remus for a marathon reading session with her best friend, even sneaking in snacks from the kitchens so they wouldn’t have to leave for sustenance.

Hours passed, and she had become so engrossed in the book that she didn’t hear someone creeping up behind her.

“Christ—“ she jumped as Sirius pressed a kiss to her temple. Remus let out a low chuckle from across the table, having clearly seen his friend sneak up and chose to not warn her ahead of time. 

She shook her head, “You both are pricks…”

“You love us though,” Sirius wrapped both arms around her shoulders and leaned closer to her ear, “Come with me, I have something to show you.”

Shutting the book and setting it on the table, she got up and followed him through the tall shelves towards the back of the library. The sections they began to pass became dustier and older, the light even beginning to fade the further they traveled. 

“Siri, where are we going?” She whispered. He reached back and grabbed her hand, tugging her behind one of the shelves, kissing her deeply. 

“Pince is going to catch us,” she said in between breaths, hands tangling in his dark hair.

Sirius smiled against her lips, “That’s half the fun.”

She was eternally grateful at the decision to wear a skirt that day, even more so that Sirius had the wherewithal to preemptively place a hand over her mouth before bending her over an ancient wooden desk. By the time they made their way back to where Remus was still sitting, the sun had set and she could already feel bruises forming on her hips. 

———

The rest of the break was precisely what she wanted: a whole bunch of doing nothing. Just waking up and leisurely spending time with her best friends. Late one night close to the start of term, they were all strewn about the Gryffindor Common Room; some of them asleep in armchairs or on the floor, the rest just lounging and listening to music comfortably. She laid against Sirius sprawled on the couch, back pressed tightly to his chest as he ran a hand up and down her arm. 

“What happens when it’s over?” She spoke softly, Sirius’ hand stilling against her skin.

“When what’s over, love?” The rumble of his voice vibrated against her bones.

“This…Hogwarts. What happens when we’re not together anymore?”

James smiled sadly at her from the armchair across the room, Lily tucked into his side as she slept. “We were uh…actually talking about getting a place together after school,” he looked down at the sleeping redhead lovingly.

“Jamie, that’s amazing,” she grinned at him from across the room. Though she was happy for her friends, a large part of her wanted nothing more than to stay this way forever, never going off and living separately and only seeing each other sporadically; as selfish and unpractical as that sounded. 

“What about us?” Sirius muttered into her ear, resuming the comforting brush of his knuckles. She hummed up at him in question.

“We can get an apartment, maybe in London?” His blue eyes sparkled in the light of the fire. She sat up and looked at him properly, “Really? You’d want that?” Sirius nodded firmly.

“What if we went in on it together?” Her eyes tracked to Remus, sitting on the rug by the fireplace. 

He gave her a sidelong glance, “I’m not going to be the third-wheel in that house, not with you two shaggin’ on every surface.” 

She held out a hand towards him, wiggling her fingers dramatically, “Oh come on, Moony! You know I can’t live without you!”

Sirius chimed in beside her, “Yeah Moons, I promise we’ll only have sex in the kitchen once a month.” She elbowed him in the ribs. 

“We can ask Pete too! It’ll be great, and James and Lily can come over for Sunday dinners,” she stared at her best friend hopefully, watching as his glare slowly melted into a reluctant smile. 

“Fine, but only because I can’t live without you either…and I get first call on a bedroom.”

“Deal,” she smiled broadly, falling back against Sirius’ chest again, “We can start looking the week we get home from final term.”

———

January 28th, 1978

“The Order of the Phoenix,” James said proudly, standing in the center of the boys dormitory. The rest of them were lounging around the room on various beds, having chosen to use their room for this particular meeting that James had frantically called. 

“James, I’m sorry, but what are you talking about?” She was trying to focus, but Remus was currently across the room sending her crude doodles in their shared sketchbook, trying to make her laugh. Sirius leaned over her shoulder to see, swiftly snatching the book and scrawling something particularly heinous (due to Remus’ immediate grimace upon receiving it).

“It’s a secret society that my parents are a part of, The Order of the Phoenix, Dumbledore started it a few years ago. There’s a bunch of members throughout Great Britain, and some abroad as well I think,” James’ eyes were glittering with excitement.

“A secret society? That’s like something from James Bond,” Mary raised her eyebrows from her spot on Peter’s bed. James gave her a puzzled look.

“Who’s James Bond?” Sirius cautiously muttered, afraid to ridiculed by the multiple muggleborns in the room. 

She turned around to pat his cheek patronizingly, “It doesn’t matter darling.” He scowled at her sarcasm while Remus chuckled from his own bed.

“Anyway,” James continued, “they’re actively fighting against Voldemort and his supporters, doing reconnaissance and other shit to try and find out their next move, and stop them every chance they get.”

From behind her, Sirius sat up straighter, clearly intrigued at the notion of being on the front lines. “Don’t even think about it,” she whispered back at him.

He huffed an incredulously breath, “I’m going to join, you can’t possibly stop me.” 

“I’d prefer to not have you in danger—“

“—there are people dying!”

“Don’t you think I understand that?” Her voice had raised too loud, the rest of the room falling silent as she stared at Sirius, “I can’t risk losing you, any of you…” she looked around the room at her friends. Lily met her eyes, the normal shade of emerald green dark and sad. 

James spoke up first, “I uh…I’m already involved…”

Her heart stopped beating. “Jamie—“

“It’s not official or anything, I still have to swear an oath or whatever and my parents won’t let me do that until after we’re done school. But I’m allowed to be at the meetings, and my parents tell me more information…”

She shook her head in disbelief, “Why didn’t you tell us?” James rubbed the back of his neck uncomfortably, at the same time she felt Sirius shift on the bed behind her. It was Remus’ nervous throat clearing that tipped her off to the betrayal though.

“You all knew…didn’t you? The four of you?” Her eyes shot between Peter, James, Sirius, and Remus. None of which dared look back. “You all planned on joining…” 

Sirius made the mistake of reaching for her arm, “Love—“

“Don’t fucking touch me,” she got up off the bed and stormed out of the room, slamming the door. She was halfway down the main corridor by the time Sirius caught up, grabbing her arm in protest.

“Leave me alone,” trying to wrench out of his grasp was futile, he was much stronger than her. He pulled her towards him, gripping her arms tightly as she looked everywhere except for his face. 

“Please…” she mumbled. 

“Look at me,” he tone was stern, eliciting an immediate reaction from her. When she met his eyes, they didn’t match his voice, instead they were soft and patient. “Talk to me, love. Why are you so upset?”

“You hid this from me! You all did!” She felt insane. From the betrayal by her friends, to the outburst she had in the bedroom, she felt like she was losing her mind a little bit. It’d been years since she’d felt insecure in her friendship with the boys, about feeling any bit left out or that she wasn’t wanted.

Sirius didn’t buy her excuse, “What’s the real problem, though?”

They stared at each other for a beat, his eyes searching hers for the truth. After a deep breath, she let her shoulders drop, “I’m afraid…”

“Of what, love?”

“…of losing any of you. This makes it more real.”

Sirius clicked his tongue, pulling her into a tight hug, “Nothing’s going to happen, we haven’t even officially joined yet. Even so, just because we’re part of the Order, doesn’t mean we’ll do any actual fighting.” She scoffed, “Sirius, I know you, and you would jump at the chance to be on the most dangerous missions.” His laugh was anything but reassuring. 

They stood in the quiet corridor for a few minutes, locked in an embrace that she couldn’t bring herself to break. “Why didn’t you include me?” she whispered into his chest.

Sirius kissed the top of her head, “I figured you’d try and stop us. Better to ask for forgiveness than permission y’know.”

“I want to join, something all of you should’ve guessed.”

Sirius smirked, “If it’s any consolation, Moony did say you might want to be involved.”

“That’s because Remus knows me better than anyone else.”

He pulled back, feigning offense, “That’s a bloody lie and you know it!”

She raised an eyebrow in challenge, “Just because you’ve seen me at my most vulnerable, doesn't mean you know me entirely.” Sirius lifted her hand and kissed it, lacing their fingers together to walk back toward the dorm and their awaiting friends.

“Guess I’ll have to try harder, bee."

———

May 6th, 1978 

The Order of the Phoenix wouldn’t pay the bills, a notion that didn’t seem to matter to people like James and Sirius who were worth more than any of them in galleons. But to the rest of them, finding a career after Hogwarts was at the forefront of their minds…at least for her it was. She’d known since her second year what she wanted to do, and she was determined to get a foot in the door. Applying to jobs at the Ministry of Magic required many steps, the first and foremost being receiving the proper O.W.L.’s and N.E.W.T.’s. She’d received Outstanding’s in Transfiguration, History of Magic, Defense Against the Dark Arts, Muggle Studies, Ancient Runes, and most importantly, Care of Magical Creatures. N.E.W.T.’s were being held at the end of the month, and she was practically tearing her hair out about it.

By day, she’d be in the library with Lily and Remus, the only other two that understood her determination. After revising for almost each waking hour, by night she would crawl silently beside Sirius in bed, where he’d coax her slowly (and thoroughly) into relaxation. 

“You don’t have to stress so much, I have more than enough inheritance to support us both,” He said one night, propping his head up on a fist to look at her. 

“It’s not about the money, Siri,” she ran a hand over his bare chest, marveling at the smoothness of his skin, “I want to help people. I’ve wanted to get into Werewolf Support Services for years, I’m not about to stop now when I’m so close.”

He leaned down to kiss her softly, “I love you, you’re the most incredible woman I know.” 

She hummed contently into his lips, pulling him closer.

“I’ll be here with you no matter what, love,” he whispered, hand snaking between their bodies. She sighed at his touch, “Promise me.”

His fingers grazed her core, “Promise what?”

Holding her breath, she squirmed as he teased. “Tell me.”

She squeezed his bicep, pleading with him to give her what she wanted, “Promise you’ll always be here.” 

He kissed her softly, touch finally landing where she needed him most, “I’m never going anywhere, love.” 

———

June 10th, 1978

N.E.W.T.s were the following week, and at that point she wasn’t sure she’d eaten a proper meal, or even brushed her hair in days. Every waking moment was either spent revising, or working on her application for the Being Division of the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures. Remus (along with Professor Kettleburn and Madam Pomfrey) had written a letter of support to add to it, going to great lengths to convey her dedication to the advancement and care of those afflicted with Lycanthropy. She’d cried for a continuous hour after reading it. 

The Friday before exam week, the entire group sat around the breakfast table, some chatting away about their excitement for the end of school, others (mainly herself, Remus, and Lily) were utterly silent. Unlike her other two exam-weary friends, she sat and picked at breakfast, not even bringing a crumb to her mouth. 

“You need to eat,” Remus whispered into her ear, a piece of bacon in hand, “It’ll do you no good if you’re starving during exams.”

“I’m fine,” she grumbled, pushing the plate towards the center of the table, nauseous and irritable.

“Suit yourself,” Remus sighed, turning his attention to the person sitting on her other side, “Pads?”

Sirius looked over at his friend, then down at her picked-over plate. “Love…” 

She gave Remus a glare, “You’re such a rat!“

“Oi, speaking of—“ he interjected as Peter rushed towards them, pink cheeked and out of breath.

“What’s up, Wormy?” James raised an eyebrow at him, “You look out of sorts.”

Pete slumped down beside him, exhaling loudly, “Filch took it!”

“Took what, mate?” Remus took another bite of bacon, watching his friend catch his breath. Peter cautiously looked down the table. “The map…” he whispered.

“Are you fuckin’ joking Wormtail?!” Sirius said loudly, causing Mary and Marlene to look up from a few seats away. She placed a hand on his arm in an effort to calm him down.

Peter threw up his hands, “I didn’t mean to!”

“What the fuck happened then?” Sirius gritted his teeth. Remus was tense beside her as well, having the ability to restrain his anger much better than most. 

Peter took a deep breath, “I was using the map to check one of the passageways, and I guess I wasn’t paying attention, and the next thing I knew Filch had appeared and almost caught me trying to go behind the mirror on the fourth floor—“

“Why were you going through that passageway? Where were you headed?” She stared at her friend quizzically. That particular passage led to Hogsmeade, the secret tunnel being the largest of any they had found during their time at Hogwarts, big enough that it could hold a group of people. They never used it, finding it too conspicuous to be useful, utilizing the One-Eyed Witch tunnel to sneak into Honeyduke’s instead. 

Peter didn’t meet her eyes when he opened his mouth to speak, Sirius instead cutting him off. “Who gives a shit what he was doing, that map was our legacy! And now what? Filch is going to get his grubby little hands on it and who knows what that weirdo is going to do with it!”

She looked at him sidelong, telling by his expression that he was being completely serious.

“I cleared it before he could take it,” Peter muttered, eyes still fixed on his lap, “He won’t be able to use it, unless he figures out the password.”

“Well thank fuck for that, Pete,” Sirius sneered, “I’m glad you decided to use your brain for once.” 

Her head snapped to him, “What’s your problem? It was an accident.”

Sirius shook his head, “He always does this, he doesn’t think, and now look what’s happened.”

“It’s not that big of a deal, Pads,” James chastised, clapping a dejected Peter on the shoulder, “Now, I’m going to go let off steam on the pitch, I think a few of you could gain something by joining me.” He gave Sirius a pointed look, who in turn wrapped an arm around her waist.

“Come flying with me,” he nudged her gently, “it’ll make you feel better.”

She shook her head, annoyed at his outburst with Peter. “I’m going to keep revising, I’ll catch up with you later.”

James stood up, followed by Sirius. “C’mon Pete,” the former pulled their friend up by his arm, “You could use the fresh air too.” 

She didn’t miss the eye roll Sirius gave as he bent down to kiss the top of her head. “Moony,” he called to Remus beside her, “makes sure she eats, please.” She didn’t respond or look up at him. “I love you,” he whispered before planting one last kiss to her temple and following the other two out the main doors. Her and Remus sat in comfortable silence for a bit, him continuing to eat while she ruminated on a multitude of thoughts that swirled around her head like a cyclone. 

“Talk to me,” Remus muttered, never looking up from his plate, his tone giving no room for nonsense. After all these years, he was still the only one to clock her feelings before anyone else. 

She sighed, “Peter’s been acting weird.”

Remus cocked an eyebrow at her, “We’re not talking about Sirius?”

“He’s my problem to deal with, I’m more concerned about the other one at the moment. Have you noticed anything?”

Remus thought on it for a moment, crunching another piece of bacon and then passing one to her, “I’ll only tell if you eat something.”

“Fucks sake,” she said under her breath, biting the piece of meat dramatically just for him. 

Remus smiled a little as she chewed, “Pete’s been…different since his dad lost his job.” 

“He didn’t say anything to me about that, when did it happen?”

Remus squinted in recollection, “Uh…summer of last year I think? He told us when we got back in September one night. His mum’s been under a lot of stress at work and now with this…Pete’s been trying to help however he can, that’s why he didn’t stay here with us for Christmas.”

She nodded, “Yeah I knew he wanted to spend time with his family, he just never specified.” 

Remus hummed, “He hasn’t talked much about it to us either. He’s just been really irritable and has a hairpin trigger nowadays. You can imagine what it’s like sharing a room with him and Sirius…” 

“Poor Pete,” she stared down at the plate of untouched food, “You’re not upset about the map, are you?”

Remus shook his head, “Nah, it was fun while it lasted. Won’t have much use for it after next month anyway. Better to have it here where maybe it’ll fall into the hands of some young troublemakers.”

“I hope whoever finds it makes Filch’s job a hell of a lot harder.”

Remus smiled, “Cheers to that.”

———

June 20th, 1978

It had to be some sort of joke. The parchment in her shaky hands fluttered slightly as she read and re-read each word over and and over, brain trying desperately to grasp the words. She inspected the handwriting, looked for any distinguishing marks or something that would give away the letter as being a prank from someone. She doubted anyone she knew would be cruel enough to joke like this. 

We’re pleased to offer you a position as Undersecretary to the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures: Being Division, supporting the efforts of the Werewolf Support Services branch.

The sentence was practically burned into her retinas with the amount of times she’d read it. As the realization finally sunk in that this was in fact real life, she huffed out a disbelieving laugh to herself, spinning around in her dormitory trying to figure out her next move. There was only one person she wanted to talk to; one person that knew how badly she had wanted this.

———

Remus was lounging against his headboard reading a muggle novel when she burst through the door, eyes wide and breathing heavily from sprinting up the stairs. Every muscle in his body tensed as he sat up.

“What is it? What’s wrong?” He tried to keep his voice from giving away the panic flooding his veins. Every day the news was worse and worse, attacks getting closer and closer to home and people with more recognizable names dying on the regular. The anxiety was always there, lying in wait for the bomb to drop. Her eyes scanned his face for a moment, expression blank and neutral as she held up a letter.

“Love, what’s happened?” Remus stood up slowly, taking the piece of parchment from her, eyes flying over the words as his heart hammered away in his chest. He prayed it wasn’t her family, held his breath that the war hadn’t finally struck home.

“I…I got in…” she whispered.

Remus looked up from the paper, seeing the smile beginning to take shape on her face. All fear evaporated from his body as she beamed, eyes brimming with tears.

“I’ve officially been hired by Werewolf Support Services. I actually did it, Remus,” her voice broke as he reached for her, lifting her into a full-body hug. “I’m so proud of you,” he said into her hair, spinning around in the center of the room. 

She clung to him, inhaling the familiar scent of her best friend. “I’m finally going to make a difference. I’m going to fix it, Moony.” 

Remus buried his face in her neck, the love he had for her overflowing, “You’re going to do great. If anyone can do it, it’ll be you.” She squeezed him tighter, opening her mouth to say something as the dormitory door was kicked open.

“Oi! Hands off my girl.” Sirius leaned against the door frame, voice dripping with sarcasm, “Moony, we’ve talked about this. If you want a three-way, you just have to ask.”

Her and Remus groaned, pulling away from each other to give Sirius matching death glares. “Don’t be crass,” she pointed at him, “I have zero interest in having sex with any of my friends, thank you very much.”

Sirius cocked an eyebrow, “What happened between us then?”

She rolled her eyes, trying to hide a smile, “Oh get fucked, Black.”

“I’m trying to!” He threw his arms out. She ignored the comment entirely, holding out the letter for him instead.

“What’s this?” He took the parchment and skimmed the paragraph quickly. When he’d finished, his blue eyes shot to her in excitement.

“You got in,” he said.

“I got in,” she nodded with barely contained joy. Sirius grabbed her face, giggles erupting from her between kisses. 

“I’m…so…proud…of…you!” punctuated each press of his lips to hers. His hands began to wander to her shoulders, then down and around her waist; the kisses that started out quick now becoming more heated.

“Moony,” Sirius purred as he placed a kiss against her jaw, “I need you to leave now.”

Remus sighed as he grabbed his forgotten book from atop the bed, “I’ll be in the library, please try not to break any of the furniture in here. I’ll see you both at dinner.” Sirius backed her onto the bed as the door shut.

“Mmmmm…I doubt it,” he purred as he knelt between her legs.

———

June 24, 1978

Sirius stroked a thumb down her ankle as she placed a kiss to his temple. Carried atop his back, she laughed as they made their way down towards Hogsmeade Station as a group, choosing to walk instead of using the carriages in the hopes of wringing out every last drop of time together. Behind them, Remus talked animatedly with Lily about a book they were both currently engrossed in, James’ arm casually slung over her shoulder as he pretended to listen intently. Ahead, Marlene, Mary, and Dorcas skipped about, the latter two loudly singing an Olivia Newton-John song they’d heard on the muggle radio. Peter walked beside her and Sirius, the two boys in deep conversation about the state of Puddlemere United, and whether or not they’d win a championship this year. 

From the higher vantage point, she looked around; taking in the sight of her friends, listening to their voices, breathing in the warm Scottish air for the last time. James caught her gaze and smiled, and she knew he was soaking it all in too. 

When they arrived at the station, Sirius set her down gently, kissing her once before boarding the train with James to find them a compartment. The rest of them filed in as younger students ran past, laughing and shouting about their summer plans. She paused at the railing of the platform, staring off across the Black Lake to the castle casting shadows over the dense forest beyond. 

“It’s weird to know we won’t be coming back,” Remus leaned beside her, sweeping his eyes over the landscape, “doesn’t feel real.”

She hummed, “I can’t believe we’ll all never eat breakfast again as a dysfunctional, obnoxious family.”

Remus chuckled, “Or worry about getting caught out of bed after curfew.”

“Or try to wrangle the drunk dynamic duo after a quidditch win.” Memories surfaced of having to coax James and Sirius (both incredibly wasted) down from the rafters of Gryffindor Tower after a particularly raucous victory party last year.

“Oh that’s probably…definitely still going to happen,” Remus smiled. 

She sighed, the sound filled with sadness but also excitement for the future, “I’m glad I got to spend these years with you, Remus. I’m glad we all found each other.”

He threw an arm around her shoulders as they stared at Hogwarts one final time, “I’m excited to spend the rest of my years with you degenerates as well.”

[bikananjarrus]

for the ask game, top ten book recommendations?? (can be sw or non-sw since ik you’ve gotten a lot of sw asks already 🫶🏻)

thank you for this question! 💙 (meant to answer this sooner but then i really had to think about some book recs). i will split it 50/50 and do 5 sw books and 5 non-sw books!

five sw books:

light of the jedi by charles soule. life-changing, showstopping, spectacular, will never be the same etc etc. (best place to start if you want to get into the high republic books!)

lost stars by claudia gray. my first sw book i ever read back when it was published in *pauses to look up* 2015. imo it is an EXCELLENT book to begin with if you're looking to get into sw books and are overwhelmed with where to start.

a new dawn by john jackson miller. for the rebels fans out there, and especially the kanera fans, this one's for you <3

not a traditional novel, but going off the last one, the kanan: the last padawan comic run. two volumes, 12 issues total. so so SO good! a must-read (imo) for rebels fans!

revenge of the sith novelization by matthew stover. if you're a prequels fan, or an anakin fan, or an obiwan fan, this book WILL hurt you. in the best way possible lol.

(quick honorable mention for the ahsoka book, but specifically the audiobook bc it's narrated by ashley eckstein and it felt like watching a clone wars arc)

five non-sw books:

i mean who would i be if i didn't mention the percy jackson books. i recognize i am biased bc they've been part of my life for so long now, so i have the nostalgia factor. but also that's my number one guy percy jackson!

what you're looking for is in the library by michiko aoyama. this book felt like a hug, and i definitely recommend for anyone who is feeling a bit lost or unsure of what they want to do with their life, where they are in life right now. it was a really great reminder that you can keep growing and change your mind and do something different with your life no matter what age you are.

a study in drowning by ava reid. a more recent read of mine, so maybe a bit of recency bias here, but it's about an architecture student who gets tasked with redesigning her favorite author's estate. she ends up working with her academic rival, and they discover secrets about the late author's life along the way. i remember (personally) having a few minor gripes with how the end all came together, but overall it was really atmospheric with lots of seaside imagery (which i love), and the setting and certain mystery elements made it enjoyable for me!

giovanni's room by james baldwin. read this for the first time when it was assigned to me in high school, and while i don't think i appreciated it much then, i reread it later on my own and really enjoyed it, so i'm grateful for my 12th grade english teacher for introducing it to me!

hani and ishu's guide to fake dating by adiba jaigirdar. this is just a really cute ya wlw romance! i listened to the audiobook for this and there were two separate narrators for hani and ishu, and i thought they both did a fantastic job! i read it last year and still think about it from time to time, so for anyone looking for an easy romance read, it's a good one!

still up for doing more of these, so feel free to ask me my top 5/top 10 anything!

[greenerteacups]

Until your most recent chapter I didn't really stop to consider Molly Weasley's role in the first war. She had a baby, 2 toddlers and 3 kids to take care of, plus the house. I imagine she was the one preparing meals for the Order and tending to the wounded, since she seems pretty good with healing charms. It's a side of war that people don't really talk about, right?

What do you think were James and Lily's roles in the war? Either in canon or Lionheart is fine. Also, if you have the time and the will, I'd love to hear what you think about the while blood magic thing Lily did for Harry. Cause we don't really see this type of magic in canon, jkr was really vague about it, and since your Pansy seems to know quite a bit of blood Magic I was curious to know if they work in similar ways in your canon. It doesn't seeem like they teach this kind of thing in Hogwarts' normal curriculum, and to know that Lily Evans was possibly an feral muggle-born toying with dark magic fascinates me. Like, did Snape introduced it to her? The recent talk Draco had with his mother about cruel spells not always being dark magic and vice versa was really interesting and got me in my current state of rambling

This dovetails wonderfully on the heels of my last post about Molly Weasley, so I'll pick it up here! Molly is absolutely at the center of the Order's efforts in both the First and Second Wizarding Wars, and her role as a mother is indivisible from her role as a soldier. Bill is 7 or 8 when the first war begins, which means Charlie's 5-6, and Percy is around 2. You can only imagine the frustration for her — that's an age where someone really needs to be around the house, but at the same time, everyone you know is going off to fight. And like— oh—

Did you ever think that Molly probably had to sit through the battle where her brothers died? That's a thought that just occurred to me. Set aside what happened to Lily and James, or even Frank and Alice; Molly wasn't an only child until the war. Bill was old enough to know his uncles. Charlie was, too. And hey — do you think she had the twins before or after her twin brothers died? Which do you think is worse?

Anyway. I think James and Lily joined the war effort immediately, considering how short the timeline is after they graduate => marriage => baby Harry => Trelawney's prophecy. In Lionheart, Moody mentions that "Evans was 16 when she came to me," which I meant to acknowledge that students were (and are! cf. Cedric and Angelina) trying to get involved with the war before they graduated. Moody and Molly are of different philosophies on this, but it's implied that Moody accepted Lily's offer, because of Molly's remark about "forgiveness" — which is obviously a bit vague, but the implicit accusation is that the Potters wouldn't have died if they hadn't been soldiers. Of course, we know that's not actually true (my spin on this particular part of canon will be fully fleshed-out in the story, but as you can probably guess, James and Lily aren't random kills). But Molly doesn't know that, so in her mind, there's a straight line between Moody accepting Lily's offer and Harry being orphaned.

James and Lily, while by all accounts quite competent, are not actually described as being that powerful in canon. Becoming an animagus at such a young age obviously requires James to be an unusually clever and/or motivated kid, and I have no trouble believing that he was one of the most naturally talented wizards in his year, but he also reads as a bit of a lazy jackass in the one(!) scene we ever get. The person who vouches for his offstage character growth — Sirius — is frankly a bit of a jackass himself. To be clear, I'm not denying the James Potter Redemption Arc. I have great affection for James as this jackass jock who gets walloped off his pedestal by one Lily Evans, and then cobbles together a decent personality from spit and elbow-grease. I just don't think he's a mind-blowing secret agent or anything. In Mad-Eye's view, it would make most sense to put James somewhere behind the front lines, where he can learn from the seasoned Aurors. Same with Lily, too.

Which is good, in my opinion. It's important to the thematic tissue of Harry Potter that James and Lily are ordinary people — extraordinary in the hearts and memories of the people who loved them, extraordinary in courage and resilience, but not especially magical or gifted beyond the range of what normal people in this universe could achieve. That isn't to say that Lily didn't do anything remarkable on October 31, 1981; she did. But I have always liked how canon left them ordinary soldiers, who were betrayed and slaughtered by an accident of fate; in another world, it could have been the Longbottoms, or it could have been no one.

[bracketsoffear]

Galápagos (Kurt Vonnegut) "The story begins one million years in the past: 1986 A.D. Mary Hepburn and her husband Roy were supposed to attend the maiden voyage of the wildly publicized Bahía de Darwin, a cruise ship ("The Nature Cruise of the Century!") that takes tourists and sightseers to the famous Galápagos Islands off the coast of Ecuador. Unfortunately, Roy dies from a brain tumor shortly before the cruise. So it goes.

Mary, grief stricken, takes the flight to Ecuador to honor the commitment she made with her husband. Also attending the cruise are American con artist James Wait, Japanese inventor Zenji Hiroguchi and his pregnant wife Hisako, American financier Andrew Macintosh and his blind daughter Selena, and an oddball assortment of other characters. Unfortunately for the passengers, the captain crashes the boat on the island after a storm and strands them there without much hope for rescue.

Rescue won't be coming because the end of the world is already gathering steam: a series of events including a worldwide financial crisis, a disease which renders all humans on the planet (except the shipwrecked survivors) infertile, and a looming nuclear war. This group of mismatched tourists suddenly become the last fertile members of humanity, and thus the progenitors of a whole new and totally different human race.

This novel is Vonnegut's take on Darwin's theory of evolution, human nature, and other topics. The novel makes mention of the problems associated with "the oversized human brain," which Vonnegut argues as the source for a lot of humanity's problems — humans lie, cheat, and fight one another because their advanced brains give them the capacity to do so — and the descendants of the Bahía da Darwin survivors lose this evolution, which the narrator sees as a good thing. They also turn semi-aquatic, with flippers for arms."

The Southern Reach Trilogy (Jeff VanderMeer) "The Southern Reach is a secret United States government agency responsible for investigating and hiding the existence of Area X, a remote region of swamps and coastline which was one day surrounded by an invisible and nearly impenetrable barrier. Strange phenomena have been occurring in Area X ever since it formed, and the Southern Reach has been sending in team after team in an attempt to find out what was responsible for the Area's creation—and if it poses a danger to the outside world.

Expedition members are warned to avoid contamination by Area X as it's not know what happened to those who did not return; though frustratingly for the teams, that's a very broad directive given how there's any number of ways Area X can contaminate them. Though most became part of Area X by turning into animals, some turned into grotesque monsters that are neither animal nor human. It is strongly hinted at that the… thing behind it all is merely trying to recreate its long lost homeworld, despite that homeworld being dead and its mission obsolete.

To quote the movie adaptation: "It wasn't destroying. It was changing everything. It was making something new." To quote the wiki about the Extinction: "It is the fear of catastrophic change" and "the extinction of humanity and its replacement by something else.""

[artficlly]

lady of the ghosts [chapter 6]

After a great plague ravages your city, you are looking to marry to secure safety for your people. With a war finally ending, the nearby kingdoms are looking to celebrate. King James "Bucky" Barnes decides to continue his family's tradition of hosting a courting season. A medieval courting marvel AU.

Pairing: king!bucky x lady!reader

Warnings: death, mention of dead body, anxiety, doubt, discussion of funerals, mentions of sexism, angst, tension, FLUFF, lovebites, steve is cocky, lmk if i've missed anything

Word Count: 3.4k

A/N: heres a short n sweet one for ya <3 the funeral is coming up next chapter, are you ready??? i think if i start writing smaller chapters i might be able to get them out more frequently instead of the 10k+ monster this chapter was supposed to be. also i've put this fic onto ao3 (same name and username - pls leave some kudos to help boost) please enjoy and let me know what you think, reblogs and likes appreciated! as always, not proof read - sorry for any typos

chapter masterlist | main masterlist

Before the Stormfall Mountain’s Pass had been created, Faliene had been impenetrable. The city was only accessible by the frigid Northern Ocean, and few dared to challenge her depths. All those years ago, men feared the gods and what may have lurked under the surface. The children of Neume harnessed the wind and waves, so her inky depths spared them. The same could not be said for the others. The pass had been a success, but it was also the beginning of the end. Her secrets and spirit were lost to the passage of time, devoured by Haiford the moment her underbelly was revealed. The fall was inevitable.

The pass had fallen into disrepair since you last traveled it, with entire sections of the path swallowed by snow and ice. You had been a child back then, ushered from inn to carriage day after day as you and your mother had escaped the plague-ridden city. You wondered if the mountains remembered you as you remembered them. Did your footprints remain buried deep under layers of snow? Or had they been washed away in the thaw as quickly as a wave over sand? 

You had never thought you would see those thick blankets of snow again, your breath was constant and loud as the thin air burned your lungs. How many years have you dreamed of this pass? Your fingers and toes numb as you barreled through the blizzard, reaching and screaming for that distant city. How many years has it been since you last saw Faliene in all her glory? As excited as you were to be reunited with your home, apprehension clawed at your gut. 

Would your people remember you? Would they accept you – their lady, who had spent half her childhood coddled away in Haiford Capital while they starved? Would they hate you or forgive you? You had spent so long fighting and trying to return; would you even recognize Faliene anymore? You had been stripped of so many things – a mother, a home, a culture – did you even know how to be a part of your own heritage, your legacy? So many questions clawed at your mind that your stomach would ache at night as you lay awake contemplating the vastness of it all. 

With stiff hands, you wrapped your fur cloak closer around your body, your eyes straining against the bitter wind that blew polar air straight to your core. Around you, thick flakes of snow floated, a layer of ice clinging to your eyelashes and exposed hair. In the distance, you could make out the warm orange candlelight of the inn; in the time you had been gone, the sky had darkened dramatically. You were not afraid of the cold or the dark, and you relished the opportunity to breathe in the frosty night sky. 

So many years you had spent cooped up. What would be a nightmare for most would be freedom for you. 

Due to King Harrison not having the foresight to hire a Falienean guide, it fell to you to scout the barely-used path. Although inexperienced, you had not failed so far. Following your intuition and fuzzy memories, you were able to locate the paths long buried under months of snow. In the evenings, while the others sheltered in the inns and boardhouses throughout the pass, you would scout ahead to ensure the path was safe to follow.

Thankfully, due to the many families that still braved living in the mountains, most of the main path remained relatively intact. The families were mainly farmers raising mountain goats and sheep, offering board for travelers and traders for extra income. And much to your rising concern, many of the families didn’t recognize you as their lady until you introduced yourself. 

Once dismounted, you quickly settled your horse in the small stable attached to the inn. Due to navigational convenience and your growing resentment of being cooped up in a carriage, you had mostly traveled on horseback. The first days between Haiford Capital and the mountains, you would have nightmares of being trapped inside a coffin – like your mothers – clawing your nails bloody on the wood. When you would finally rip off the lid of the coffin, you would find yourself in a carriage, the horses charging at a neck-breaking speed. 

As you passed the carriages tucked away beside the stables, you frowned. One for King Harrison, Peggy, and Michael. The other for your mother in her coffin. Although you were nearly two weeks into your journey, her body would show no signs of decomposition. The mountains would have frozen her solid, her body like a porcelain doll. 

Once inside the inn, you quickly ascended the stairs to the upper level. Although you were freezing and craving a warm drink, the idea of fighting past the Haifordian guard that crowded the kitchen stove sounded exhausting. Shrugging off your cloak, jacket, and hat, you reached the room you shared with Peggy. With such a small inn and a large traveling party, it was easier for certain groups to sleep in the same room. Both you and Peggy being unmarried women meant you were paired together, while some of the Haifordian guards were cramming more than six men into a room. 

Your hand paused over the doorknob, a sound from the other side catching you off guard. You were so busy contemplating how best to dry your damp clothing that you nearly missed it. Leaning your ear closer to the door, you roll your eyes in irritation. The sound of Peggy giggling carried through the wood, a familiar male voice spoke low words you couldn’t quite make out. 

Steve. With a huff, you step away from the door. Both of them had been playing a risky game the entire trip, regularly visiting each other's rooms. The wrong person would eventually learn about them, it was only a matter of time. 

You hesitate in the hallway. They had never visited so late into the evening before; normally Peggy was preparing for or already in bed by the time you came back from your scouting missions. Traveling through thick snow was as hard as expected, exhausting even for those tucked into the carriages. It wasn’t unusual for the party to be in bed straight after an early supper. 

You were half tempted to barge in and interrupt them; you were tired from a long day on horseback. You still didn’t feel like braving the kitchen and sitting outside and waiting would be highly suspicious. Lingering in the hallway for a few more minutes, you grumble a few unsavory words under your breath before trying to find your next best options. James. 

To the surprise of everyone but you, James had canceled the season. He had also insisted on traveling with the first party – your party – to Faliene. Another party was a few days behind yours, made up of Galantian and Asgardian guards, a group of the Galantian court, and Asgardian royalty. You had a sneaking suspicion that while half of them were there to show their respect, the others were there to see a Falienean funeral firsthand. Due to the rituals and traditions involved, Falienean funerals were frequently regarded as barbaric spectacles. 

You waver outside James’ room. Despite him traveling with your party, the two of you had barely spoken since the library. You suspected he was trying to draw attention away from the both of you, but his presence mustered up enough rumors with the Haifordian guard. Most of your conversations were spent with Steve. When he wasn’t bluntly flirting with Peggy, he would be complaining about the growing cold, much to your mockery and amusement. You were unsure of how he would cope with the chill of Faliene; the Stormfall Mountains were cold, but nothing in comparison to the chill that blew in off the northern sea. 

Chewing your lip, you finally gave in and rapped your knuckles lightly against the door. With your breath held, you wait, wondering if he even heard the knock at all. You might have missed him downstairs, or maybe he had already fallen asleep–

The door suddenly swung open, startling you as you took a step back. James stood in the doorway, an equally surprised expression flashing across his features momentarily. It wasn’t just the expression that hinted at his shock at your presence, but also the fact that he was shirtless. You hug your discarded clothing closer to your chest. You tried to keep your eyes anywhere but his bare skin, your mouth growing dry as you struggled to find words to explain your sudden presence at his door. 

Now no longer covered, you could get a better look at his tattooed arm, with swirling blue ink patterning his entire left arm and shoulder. A large, raised scar ran across his shoulder joint, nearly entirely encircling the flesh. The scar was ghostly white and gnarled like the roots of a tree. It looked impossible – the type of scar someone shouldn’t have survived. But the ink decorating his skin told a story you already knew. Magic. Magic had saved his arm and, most likely, his life. So many denied its existence when it stood so blatantly in front of them. 

Swallowing hard, you glance upward to meet his gaze. You couldn’t ignore the smirk that tugged at his lips, his right side now leaning against the doorframe as he eyed you with a silent satisfaction. 

“Can I come in?” You abruptly say, suddenly remembering how to speak. James’ chuckles lowly at you before motioning you inside. 

Still flustered, you quickly duck past his muscled form, peeling off your gloves as you stand in the center of the room with a quiet huff. James’ still snickers at you as he closes the door. 

“You knocked so quietly, I thought I was hearing things.” He says this while you continue to refuse to look at him. Instead, your gaze falls on the room around you; it is nearly identical to yours. Two beds are layered with furs and blankets, one for him and one for Steve. A sheepskin rug thrown over the wooden floors. On the other side of the room is a roaring fireplace, with two seats positioned in front of it. 

“Sorry, I didn’t know where else to go.” You mutter, squeezing your hand into a fist as you try to regain feeling in your numb fingers. 

“Peggy and Steve?” He asks, the floorboards creaking softly under his weight as he inches closer to where you stand. 

“They’re going to get caught–” You begin to grumble but cut yourself off as you realize how close James has grown. Your breath catches in your throat as he reaches out, a single tattooed finger twirling around a damp strand of your hair. 

“You’re soaking.” His voice cuts into the abrupt silence, but your focus is on the closeness of his body rather than the state of your clothes and hair. “Come, sit by the fire.”

You wordlessly oblige, allowing him to lead you to one of the seats. In the low light, James’ muscles and veins are illuminated by the orange glow of the fire. Peeling off another damp layer, James takes your previously discarded clothing and lines it in front of the fireplace to dry. 

“The snow must have melted.” You mutter, remembering the snowflakes and ice that had clung to your clothes and hair before you came inside. James hums in reply, running a hand through his hair as he looks down at you, ensuring you are settled before finally pulling on a shirt. You sigh through your nose, half in relief and half in disappointment. 

A comfortable silence falls as he takes a seat across from you. You could feel his gaze watching as you quietly unlaced your seal-leather snow boots. The leather was more successful at keeping out the creeping wetness and dampness of the snow. Without the blubber to insulate the cold, your toes felt frozen beneath your thick, woolen socks.

During the weeks of travel, you had found yourself hoping for a moment alone like this to talk after so much silence had passed between the both of you. Nearly daily, when you weren’t consumed by anxieties for the quickly approaching future, you would think back to that moment in the library and what you would say once you were alone. 

Now that you were here, you were near speechless. 

As you twisted the rings on your fingers, you recounted all of the questions and thoughts that had lingered in your mind for so long – so many conversations you wished to have with the King in front of you. You were unsure where to start. 

“Why does Steve call you Bucky?” You ask, breaking the stillness. You mentally curse yourself at the bluntness of the question. You couldn’t bring yourself to ask the heavy questions: ‘Why did you come?’ or ‘What will become of us once this funeral is over?’. To your surprise, a gentle look crosses his face, and you lean back into your seat. 

“It’s just a nickname I had as a child, I suppose there's some familiarity to it.” He replies with a light chuckle, running his hand up through his hair again as if in thought. You keep an intense gaze on him, distracted by the movement.

“I thought there was going to be a dramatic story.” You admit lightheartedly, finally breaking your stare. Maybe something soft and lighthearted was the way to start, to ease yourself back into the familiarity of conversation. You had spent so long silent; your jaw clenched as you rode through the snow each day. It was a wonder you even remembered how to form words and that your mouth hadn’t become frozen shut. 

“No. I was always Bucky or Buck, and Steve was Stevie sometimes.” 

“Stevie? That’s too cute for that brute.” You mutter, and James’ gives you a lopsided grin.

“I think it was because of Becca. She would call me Jamie sometimes, so naturally Steve was Stevie.” He explains, though there is a twinge of sadness in his tone. Your gut squeezes, an anxious reminder of the past and the grief attached to it.

“I wish I had been able to meet her.” Your words are gentle and slow, almost hesitant. 

James stared long and hard into the fire for a time. “Becca? Well…she could be a mean, spoiled brat sometimes.” 

You could sense the deflection in his words and tone. You had noticed that he rarely spoke of Rebecca, and when he did, it pained him. He rarely went beyond the surface, never talking of their relationship beyond the fact that they were siblings. You could understand not wanting to revisit such memories. You often treated the memories of your father in similar ways, holding them close to your chest as secrets only you could know. 

“I think that is just the way with siblings. At least, that is what Peggy has told me.” You offer, lightheartedly. 

“I think she’s right. As much of a brat as Becca could be, I still loved her.” A dark look comes over his face, and you watch as he clenches and unclenches his fist before speaking once more. “What were your nicknames?”

You don’t push the subject of Rebecca further, instead latching onto his latter question. “I never had any.”

“None? Really?” He asked in surprise. 

You take a moment to think back and remember the warm, fuzzy memories of your childhood. You could remember running rampant through the halls of Fort Faliene, peeling off your stockings to wade in the waters near the dock. You could remember sitting on your father's desk, legs swinging through the air as you watched him organize his bookshelf, a half-played chess game abandoned nearby. 

“My father used to call me a wild cat, or his little wild cat, like the snow leopards that live deeper in the mountains. It’s ironic to think back on now, considering the leopards are called Ghosts of the Mountain.” You hum in thought, that warm, fuzzy feeling replaced with something bitter in your chest as your mind moves closer to recent history. Your nails tap against the wooden arm of the chair. 

“And then the endearing names turned to cruel ones, words to belittle me because of my gender and my culture. They called my mother the Lady of the Ghosts before me. She always shouldered it so easily, she would call me her Little Ghost.”

“Little Ghost?” James questioned you, his voice low as if he did not wish to interrupt your sudden openness. 

“It was because the Haifordian’s said I was like a little ghost when we first left Faliene.” A sad smile plays across your lips as you recount the memory. “I was barely fourteen, my father was dead, and my home was ripped from me. When I couldn’t sleep in that terrible castle, I would wander the halls and gardens. The maids would go to my mother in the morning and say, ‘Your little ghost was wandering the halls again’, expecting her to reprimand me. My mother would just laugh at them and say, ‘She is a ghost, what do you expect?’–

“Sometimes she would join me at night. We would look at the moon and the stars in the garden. When the moon was visible, she would say, ‘Tonight is a high tide, the men will be bringing in the hauls’, as if we were still there, walking along the docks. That was before she got sick, of course… By the time I was sixteen, she was bedridden and had entirely forgotten who I was. That’s when I became the Lady of the Ghosts, not just the little ghost that haunted the halls of the Haifordian court.” 

The silence that follows your words is deafening, with James watching you with a soft expression as you sigh sharply and lean back further into your seat. 

“You carry a piece of her with you everywhere, then.” James speaks, his voice gentle. Your eyes flutter upward, surprised. “Every time your enemies mock you with those names, they are breathing life into her legacy. Your legacy.” 

The wave of emotion that rolled over your body at his words was indescribable. You had felt fondness toward others before, but never to this degree. Your heart thumped in your chest as you swallowed hard, leaning forward in your seat. How could he take such a melancholic, painful memory and turn it into something of beauty? How could he take the anxiety clawing at your chest and simply replace it with calm?

Your hand reached out to grasp his, causing a fuzzy feeling in your gut and skull as you tried to figure out the words to say. Nothing came, nothing you could quite describe or express. Desire tingled across your skin as you contemplated clambering into his lap, allowing him to embrace you like he had in the library. Just you and him, his arms sheltering you from reality. 

“James I–” You start, and his gaze is intense as he watches you creep closer. But as quickly as the moment began, it abruptly stopped. Your body jolted back involuntarily in fright as the door to the room slammed open. 

You gaped as Steve walked in with a shit-eating grin, the exposed skin of his neck and collarbones dotted with quickly bruising love bites. James visibly deflates beside you, a tense breath leaving his nose sharply as he avoids eye contact with you. You try to ignore the hurt that squeezes your chest at that sight, instead turning your attention to a smug Steve.

“Steve!” You scold, clambering to your feet. “You are so lucky we have to dress heavy with the snow! If King Harrison caught you, he would have you head–” 

“Y/N, relax. It’s fine, no one saw us.” Steve reassures you, almost immediately stealing your seat in front of the fire. You roll your eyes, slapping him on the shoulder as you shimmy past to pick up your clothing from in front of the fire. 

James remains silent, locked in an intense stare with Steve as you hand your still damp clothing over your arm. Steve glances between the two of you with a quizzical yet knowing stare. You watch on in confusion as the two men seem to have a silent conversation with their eyes, James shaking his head at the blond. You reach down and collect your boots with a huff, deciding to exit the room before the sting of James’ sudden snub sets in. 

“I am going to bed.” You say, noting James’ reluctance to catch your eye.

“Sweet dreams.” Steve hums, an even wider smile spreading across his face, watching as if he knew something you didn’t. All you can muster is a scoff, closing the door behind you without looking back. 

taglist| @liter4ti @just-someone11 @champagnejoker @scooobies @queerqueenlynn @roryhaarts @fanfictionjunkie1112 @themotherof10 @diaries-of-a-hopelessromantic

[kob131]

James had a plan, it would’ve brought the arena up to space and global communication would be restored forever cause no grimm can get to space. Is secret cause last time he showed his hands it all got turned against him.

RWBY says secrets bad despite lying and keeping all sorts of secrets from him.

Fucks over all his plans by making him spill the beans to the council and have Nero overhear and relay info to Cinder and Salem.

It’s almost like all of the problems could’ve been avoided if they had just trusted Ironwood and not be like Oz in keeping secrets.

1- No it wasn't.

Ironwood: If we harness the power of the Staff, and raise ourselves high into the atmosphere, the city's artificial climate will keep citizens and food supplies unharmed. Always out of reach of whatever Salem may try to send our way.

This is James' plan in its entirety. Nowhere does it mention restoring communications. In fact, Oscar outright says he's abandoning all of Remnant and giving up his plan on re-establishing communications. James does not disagree.

Oscar: If you abandon Mantle, you abandon our best chance of reuniting the world. You abandon Remnant, leaving millions to fend for themselves so a few can survive. What kind of-- Ironwood: (rolling his eyes) All excellent philosophical points that won't matter if Salem wins.

His statement doesn't make sense for him to say if he is trying to reunite Remnant now does it?

2- Congratulations- Now try to understand why on earth would Team RWBY be spilt on the idea of lying to James and why they would be uneasy about the idea if they were supposed to be right in doing so and how that makes no fucking sense.

3- His plan was falling apart BEFORE that point with Jacques forcing him into a corner.

Sleet: The fact of the matter is, you've operated with a fair amount of autonomy for the past few years, James. But we need now is for you to work with us. Winter is tapping her finger on the table with a scowl on her face. Ironwood: Sir, I have-- Camilla: It's obvious that no kingdom intends to declare war on Atlas. We had no involvement in the incident at Haven, we have proof our drones weren't acting on orders at Beacon. At this point, the closure of Atlas borders is only serving to hurt our relations with the rest of the world. Ironwood: I-- Robyn: The rest of the world? It's hurting us. The people of Atlas are suffering and they want to know why. Robyn turns her head to look at Ironwood who looks saddened. Jacques: Quite right, Ms. Hill. Ironwood drops the saddened expression and looks at Jacques. Robyn turns to Jacques, as well. Jacques: And I'm afraid there's more than just your choices that have brought harm to our citizens as of late. Have your forces found any additional evidence as to who is slaughtering innocent civilians down in Mantle? Clover is looking at Ironwood, and as he begins to speak, Clover turns his gaze to Jacques. Clover: That is an ongoing investigation, the details of which are classified, I'm afraid. Jacques immediately begins speaking again, not leaving even a split second of silence. Jacques: I'm afraid of the ever-growing list of classified information you seem to be keeping. I asked our fellow councilmen here to shed some light on your Amity Colosseum project and, as it turns out, they know about as much as I do. Winter continues to tap her finger on the table. Robyn: Even you don't know? Ironwood: The Amity Project will help with all of the issues you've presented, but you have to understand that discretion is a top priority at this time. Jacques: Are you saying you don't trust us? Winter's tapping speeds up, and she aggressively slams her fist onto the table and stands up, facing Jacques. Winter: You can't just buy trust like everything else, you have to earn it! Robyn looks at Winter, smiling a little. There is silence for a few moments, and Jacques begins smiling. Jacques: I couldn't have said it better myself. Winter gasps. Jacques: General, if I may be blunt, you have spent what little trust this Council had left in you. The hacker who turned Atlas drones against us was never captured, whoever's been murdering your critics is still at large. How are we supposed to give you our trust, when you've given us nothing as of late?

Remember how much the writers hate Jacques and portray him as not even have the backbone of fucking Adam then realize that they are writing him as having a point against James. Then realize how this is fucking over his plan.

4- Congratulations- You understand Team RWBY's INTENDED character flaws.

Now try James.

[endless-formsmostbeautiful]

Good Omens is a story about the Cold War.

The writing and publication of the novel Good Omens coincides rather neatly with the late Cold War (the fall of the Berlin Wall and German Reunification taking place in 1989-1990) and Pratchett and Gaiman would have both grown up and spent their young adulthood during the period of the Cold War.

In Good Omens, two global powers face off in a long-lasting “quiet” conflict in which outright action would be mutually destructive and would at worst lead to universal loss of human life. This is a storyline upon which variations exist in popular perceptions of the Cold War and works of fiction on the subject, including the satirical film Dr Strangelove. (It is perhaps relevant to add that Neil Gaiman at one point imagined Aziraphale and Crowley both being played by Peter Sellers, which is of course a central aspect of Dr Strangelove, in which Sellers plays three separate roles.)

Aziraphale and Crowley are also paralleled with Cold War agents nearly every time they appear in public together. When Aziraphale and Crowley feed the ducks at St James Park, it is mentioned that a duo of Eastern/Western agents are doing the same thing:

The ducks in St. James' Park are so used to being fed bread by secret agents meeting clandestinely that they have developed their own Pavlovian reaction. Put a St. James' Park duck in a laboratory cage and show it a picture of two men-one usually wearing a coat with a fur collar, the other something somber with a scarf-and it'll look up expectantly. The Russian cultural Attaches black bread is particularly sought after by the more discerning duck, while the head of M19's soggy Hovis with Marmite is relished by the connoisseurs.

After Aziraphale runs out of bread for the ducks, they swim over to "the Bulgarian naval Attache and a furtive-looking man in a Cambridge tie," showing that at least for the ducks, Crowley and Aziraphale are indistinguishable from actual Cold War agents. Later, when the two meet at the British Museum, clandestine espionage activities are also taking place:

They were in the cafeteria of the British Museum, another refuge for all weary foot soldiers of the Cold War. At the table to their left two ramrod-straight Americans in suits were surreptitiously handing over a briefcase full of deniable dollars to a small dark woman in sunglasses; at the table on their right the deputy head of M17 and the local KGB section officer argued over who got to keep the receipt for the tea and buns.

The slight fuss over the lunch receipt between British and Soviet agents is further mirrored by Aziraphale and Crowley’s discussion about who paid in 1793 and whose turn it is to pay now.

It is also relevant to mention that in Good Omens, the end of the world is to begin with a "multi-level nuclear exchange," which is a staple of Cold War fiction, including Dr Strangelove. Th possibility of nuclear warfare hung over the duration of the Cold War, with events such as the Cuban Missile Crisis and (more recently) the Stanislav Petrov incident, and a general paranoid sense to the degree that US schoolchildren practiced hiding under their desks for a nuclear attack. (Exactly what protection a particleboard desk would provide against ground zero of a nuclear bomb remains unknown.)

Furthermore, after the failed apocalypse, Crowley and Aziraphale return to St James Park, where secret agents are again present, but things are different:

St. James' Park was comparatively quiet. The ducks, who were experts in realpolitik as seen from the bread end, put it down to a decrease in world tension. [...] The park was deserted except for a member of MI9 trying to recruit someone who, to their later mutual embarrassment, would turn out to be also a member of MI9, and a tall man feeding the ducks.

In this scene, there is stated to be a decrease in tension of the celestial and human variety, which coincides again with the end of the Cold War in the real world. For Aziraphale and Crowley, surviving the Cold War between Heaven and Hell is not about choosing the right side but about rejecting both facets of an oppressive system.

[dhr-ao3]

And They Were Roommates

And They Were Roommates https://ift.tt/RyO1MZr by emeliacharlizard After the messy beginnings of a divorce with Ron, Hermione desperately searches for somewhere to move and finds a listing for a flat share, the wizarding estate agent owned by none other than a very amused and curious Blaise Zabini, who will not reveal the identity of her fellow roommate but happily tells her that they are rarely on the premises so she shouldn’t have much to worry about. But Hermione had plenty to worry about when she discovered the identity of her roommate in the most mortifying way possible. It’s none other than Draco Malfoy, and it all happened because, of course, she got far too comfortable having the flat to herself for weeks and walked into the kitchen of all things in her underwear where the blonde pain in the neck was making a coffee. In the days that follow it’s apparent that Draco is a busy, business-minded playboy, and Hermione cannot stand him. But for how long that will last when they’re sharing a space, begin to find common ground, open up, and Draco is keeping a decade-long secret about some very deep undisclosed feelings, is anyone’s guess. Our story begins in 2005, eight years after the end of the Second Wizarding War. Words: 878, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Categories: F/F, F/M, M/M, Multi Characters: Hermione Granger, Draco Malfoy, Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, Luna Lovegood, Ginny Weasley, Pansy Parkinson, Daphne Greengrass, Blaise Zabini, Theodore Nott, George Weasley, Susan Bones, Katie Bell, Cho Chang, Teddy Lupin, James Sirius Potter, Andromeda Black Tonks, Padma Patil, Hannah Abbott, Parvati Patil Relationships: Hermione Granger/Draco Malfoy, Luna Lovegood/Theodore Nott, Pansy Parkinson/Original Female Character(s), Daphne Greengrass/Blaise Zabini, Harry Potter/Ginny Weasley, Angelina Johnson/George Weasley Additional Tags: Roommates, Friendship, Forced Cohabitation, POV Hermione Granger, Adult Hermione Granger, Ministry of Magic Employee Hermione Granger, Hermione Granger & Harry Potter Friendship, Good Theodore Nott, Hermione Granger & Theodore Nott Friendship, Bisexual Theodore Nott, Pining Draco Malfoy, Good Blaise Zabini, Draco Malfoy & Blaise Zabini Friendship, Good Friend Blaise Zabini, Lesbian Pansy Parkinson, Sassy Pansy Parkinson, Good Pansy Parkinson, Romance, Eventual Romance, Slow Romance, Romantic Comedy, Married Harry Potter/Ginny Weasley, Hermione Granger & Ginny Weasley Friendship, Minor Neville Longbottom/Luna Lovegood, Good Friend Daphne Greengrass, Good Astoria Greengrass, Mentioned James Sirius Potter, Lesbian Parvati Patil via AO3 works tagged 'Hermione Granger/Draco Malfoy' https://ift.tt/aoYwVgR August 14, 2024 at 12:08PM

[lena-in-a-red-dress]

Dragonrider AU Pt 4

When Lena is swept away by the chatelain, there are more visitors to receive, those hoping for verdicts on petty disputes and familiar faces of those newly returned to court. Though Kara itches to disappear and find Lena, she withstands her ordeal of welcoming each and every oncomer. It takes hours, and by the time the doors to the great hall close, she is exhausted and desperate to escape.

Before she can, however, her aunt requests that she follow to the war room to discuss strategy now that James' unit has been recalled to the capital. Kara's only consolation is the presence of James himself at her side.

"Thank you," she says in a low voice. "For watching over her."

"It was a pleasure," James assures her.

"And for keeping her safe during the assault."

James grimaces at that. "She... didn't need much help in that regard." When Kara silently presses him for more details, he continues. "She may have helped."

"With the healers--"

"With a blade." James lifts his hands placatingly when Kara bristles with outrage. "We were sparring when the assault began, she was already armed! There was no stopping her."

Kara closes her eyes, trying and failing not to imagine Lena sprinting towards the danger, sword in hand, instead of away from it.

"We were glad for her help," James confesses, rubbing the back of his neck. "Every man counts, and she is a skilled swordswoman besides. Zephyr too lent his strength, even without his fire. And it proved to dispel the doubts among the men as to her loyalties."

"Doubts?"

"In their experience, it is rare to find a trustworthy Luthor. But seeing the ferocity of her defense of the fort put those concerns to rest. There is not a one among them who doesn't count her as an ally."

In the end, Kara can only sigh. Lena is her own person-- depsite the protection of Kandor, Lena retains her will. It was not Kara's place to secret her away from every danger, no matter her desire to do so.

"Nevertheless, I thank you," she says finally. "It warms my heart to see her recovered."

James looks at her with an oddly searching gaze, but his response is as congenial as ever.

"You're welcome."

---

No feast is held that night. By the time Kara is released from the war room the hour is late. It's not until morning that Kara dares to pad towards the guest wing, where Kara knew Lena's new quarters to be. As she nears, she's rewarded with the sight of a maid scurrying away from Lena's door with clear intent-- Lena is awake.

Kara knocks faintly, and waits until a faint welcome invites her in. Upon stepping inside she finds Lena seated on the edge of the bed, shoulders hunched and head bowed, right hand clutched to her left arm.

"The morning chill still aches?"

Kara had suspected as much, hence the jar of salve cupped in her hand. Lena's head jerks up at the sound of her voice, surprised at her arrival, but she doesn't rise.

"Princess..."

"Come now," Kara chides softly. "Surely we are beyond such formalities by this point."

The tension eases with a roll of Lena's eyes. "You might have mentioned it," she scolds back.

"Come to think of it, I'm not even sure I told you my name." Kara lifts the salve with a small smile. "May I?"

With Lena's nod, Kara sits beside her and dips her fingers into the salve and begins to rub it into the scarred skin of Lena's arm. It's a familiar practice, one Kara performed every morning she was at Fort Argo. She starts at the shoulder and works her way down, leaving Lena's wrist and fingers for last.

Kara doesn't realize she's staring until she finishes, and Lena gently pulls her fingers away.

"I know," Lena says softly. "It's hideous."

"No," Kara returns, cheeks flushing. "Actually, the contrary. We Kryptons are somewhat... resilient to harm. Not impervious, by any means, but enough so to give us a hope of withstanding Luthorian blades. Even so, we take much of our physical health for granted. I can't say I've ever seen the beauty of a body's capacity to heal, in such a way as I do now."

Lena gazes at her, her features hesitant, doubting Kara's veracity. Kara brushes her fingertips along the pitted and scalloped edges of Lena's burns, so gently she wonders if Lena can feel it. Whether she does or not, Lena does soften, sighing as she hangs her head.

"Your people have been so kind. No one has mentioned my deformity except to inquire as to my health. Even James, who has helped train me to adapt around it in battle, has not spoken of it directly. And yet-- I wish they would. There is no reversing it. It is part of me. We must needs acknowledge it; else I will not be wholly seen, and that I cannot abide."

Kara nods. "I would not give your brother the satisfaction," she declares. Then, more softly, "Nor could I bear to lose sight of a single inch of you."

The words slip out before Kara can think not to speak them. Lena seems to jolt, her eyes widening in surprise even as Kara's flush turns burning hot. To her relief, Lena's maid returns in that moment, before either of them have the chance to risk saying anything more.

"I have the compress, m'lady-- oh!" The maid stops short at the sight of Kara. "Your Highness, I didn't realize--"

"Give it no mind," Kara says swiftly, rising to her feet. Her fingers reluctantly slip from Lena's skin. "I was just leaving. Please, take good care of our esteemed guest."

The maid curtsies. "Yes, your Highness."

Before Kara can escape through the door, Lena calls to her.

"Princess."

Kara pauses, turning to glance over her shoulder.

Their eyes meet.

"Thank you," Lena says.

With an unstoppable smile, Kara nods. "We shall speak again, soon."

Lena nods in return, a smile of her own curling her lips.

[srgntjamesbuckybarnes]

Buck & Doe (11)

Summary: Natasha attempts to take down Dreykov, who is mind controlling Black Widows. In her quest she recruits Y/N, a former Black Widow turned science experiment. Bucky and Natasha share a history in the Red Room but his life might be intertwined with more than one Widow. The closer they get to taking down Dreykov, the more secrets come to light.

Rating: Mature

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warnings: Mentions of war death, cancer, funerals, and loneliness

Word Count: 6.5k

A/N: Not Beta’d

Series Masterlist

Previous Chapter

Chapter 11

Born in 1916, Barnes grew up the oldest of four.

After HYDRA, Bucky struggled to remember who James Buchanan “Bucky” Barnes was. The only link he had to his identity was the man he pulled from the river after a fight, Steve Rogers. It had been easy to find information on Steve Rogers and even easier to find information on Captain America. A World War II veteran who helped defeat HYDRA in the 40s. Bucky had not been surprised to find the tall, blonde hair, blue eyed super-soldier’s face plastered all over the World War II Smithsonian exhibit. He was shocked to find his own face staring back at him.

1917-1944

Maybe learning about his life from a bunch of strangers wasn’t the best idea. He didn’t know who he was and neither did the memorial dedicated to him. One thing they did agree on was that neither Bucky nor the Smithsonian knew when Bucky was born. Frustrated, Bucky turned to plums. He had read somewhere that plums helped combat memory loss. Over time, Bucky remembered bits and pieces of his life but he’d never admit that to anyone. He couldn’t let anyone know he had started to remember. If HYDRA found out they would wipe his mind and Bucky would be back to square one.

When the super-soldier regained his memory of his family he hadn’t hesitated to look them up. His desire to know more about himself had peaked. He was almost a century old and more alone then he had ever been. During his time as the Winter Soldier he did not know what loneliness was, anytime he showed an ounce of emotion his mind was erased and he was put back in cryofreeze. Even in the beginning Bucky had hope. He hoped to win the war and return home to his family and friends. Maybe meet a pretty dame and settle down. Perhaps Steve would settle down with that woman he met during the war, Peggy, and they would move next door. Their kids would grow up together while the rest of them grew old. Reality had different plans. Everyone else got to live their life and grow old. Bucky had been a slave to HYDRA, a slave to time. The only person still alive was Steve and their relationship would never be the same, he couldn’t be the old Bucky. Too much had happened. Steve had been an only child and became an orphan early on in life. Bucky remembered the funerals and Steve grieving, insisting he could get by on his own. Bucky’s whole family was dead and he didn’t get a chance to grieve, to say goodbye. He had to get by on his own, alone.

A million emotions swam behind Bucky’s stormy eyes, refusing to settle on just one. His eyebrows pinched together, his jaw slack. His outstretched metal appendage still rested on his sister’s shoulder keeping her at arm's length. She was older since the last time Bucky had seen her before the war but not much older. She was dead. She was supposed to be dead. Cancer had gotten to her. At least that's what her death certificate said.

“Jamie please. It’s me.” Rebecca pleaded. Maybe it was an accident revealing herself but she had no other choice. Rebecca winced as hard fingertips pressed into her skin. Even through her coat she could feel the strength of Bucky’s metal hand trying to ground himself, to make sure she was real. Hesitantly she reached her right hand up to rest on his left located on her shoulder.

Bucky flinched at the contact. His sister didn’t know that he survived the fall off the train, that his once flesh appendage was replaced with metal, that he worked for HYDRA and murdered innocent people. Rebecca hadn’t reacted to the hard surface beneath his glove. He knew she couldn’t see it but she could feel it. She also seemed too calm to be just finding out he was alive. She worked for HYDRA, she must have known about him. This wasn’t his sister, his sister died with him the day HYDRA wiped her from his mind.

Rebecca’s eyes flicked over her brother’s shoulder catching a glimpse of the woman behind him. Bucky’s jaw clenched as he sidestepped in front of Rebecca’s gaze but it was too late.

“Jane!”

Fully clothed, Y/N’s head snapped up from the backpack she had been kneeling in front of. Scrambling to her feet Y/N hastily slung the backpack on her back and brushed the dirt from her knees. 

“Doctor Barnes?” Y/N exclaimed, rushing to greet the familiar face. The super-soldier had other plans. He knew how easily HYDRA was able to get into his head and he wouldn’t let Y/N be brainwashed, not even by his sister. His right hand caught Y/N’s shoulder reeling her back behind him.

“Bucky.” Y/N whined.

Bucky rolled his eyes at her querulous tone. Even as an adult she could be childish and a bit too trusting. Bucky’s lack of response and tight grip caused her shoulders to slump in defeat.

“Look at me.” Bucky snapped drawing Rebecca’s away from Y/N. “I don’t know what kind of sick game this is but we’re not playing it.”

Stomping her foot Bucky briefly got a glimpse of the stubborn girl he grew up with. The one who would stomp her foot every time he wouldn’t bring her along to hang out with his friends. Rebecca shoved his hand from her shoulder leaning forward to poke him hard in the chest. “This is no game James. I’m trying to save your life.” Her blue orbs flickered back to the girl standing behind her brother. “Both of you.”

A crackle came from the earpiece in Y/N’s ear. “Bucky, the comms.”

Sighing Bucky released Y/N using his right hand to turn his earpiece back on. Y/N took advantage of the tall brunette’s brief distraction, pushing past him to wrap her arms around the shorter Barnes.

“Everything okay?” Steve questioned over the comms.

Bucky frowned, locking eyes with his sister as she embraced Y/N. “We have a problem. I’ll send you the location.”

“Bucky,” Rebecca interrupted, glancing over her shoulder at the mouth of the alley. “We can't stay here. It’s not safe.”

Ignoring Rebecca, Bucky swiftly pulled his phone out, sending his teammates their location.

Pulling away from the hug Y/N couldn’t help but admire her friend. “I thought you were older.”

Rebecca grinned softly. “I thought you were younger.”

As the two shared a laugh Bucky couldn’t help but be annoyed. “I thought you were dead.”

“I could say the same about you.” Rebecca shot back.

Bucky didn’t like how she danced around how she was still alive but she hadn’t run off when he alerted the team of their location. That had to count for something. Maybe she truly was trying to save them. Or maybe it was a trap.

“Bucky!” Natasha announced her presence, Bruce trailed behind her.

Giving Y/N and Rebecca a long glance, Bucky retreated away from them to meet the redhead and her occasionally green friend.

“Who’s that?” Bruce asked, pointing at Rebecca.

Bucky tilted his head to the sky briefly wondering what he had done so bad in his past life that he couldn’t catch a break in this life. Meeting their eyes Bucky groaned. “Rebecca.”

With a quick glance, the similarities between both Barnes hadn’t gone unnoticed by the Widow. “Your sister, Rebecca?”

Bucky hummed in response, turning his head to the check on the pair behind him.

“Isn’t she like, a hundred?” Bruce furrowed his eyebrows.

A quick nod from Bucky had Clint laughing as he waltzed down the alley. “Good genes must run in the Barnes family.”

A scowl plastered on Bucky’s face. “Stop checking out my sister.” Clint muttered something about being married but Bucky couldn’t help but notice they were one Avenger short. The Avenger he needed here the most, the one who knew Rebecca. “Where’s Steve?”

“He ditched me to help some old lady.” The archer rolled his eyes at memory, receiving a light shove from Romanoff.

“They seem to be getting along.” Natasha nodded towards the smiling women Bucky struggled to tear his eyes away from.

“Yeah, a little too well.” Bucky narrowed his eyes, crossing his arms over his chest. He wanted so badly to believe Rebecca meant well but the knowledge of her involvement with HYDRA did nothing to put him at ease. Of all times for her to show up, it had to be on a mission to destroy HYDRA and the Red Room. Something didn’t sit well with him, especially how easily Y/N chose to stay by her side instead of his.

“Jealous?” Natasha smirked, bumping her shoulder into the soldier’s.

Bucky’s head whipped towards Nat. Jealous wasn’t the word Bucky would use. In fact, his emotions had been all over the place since the start of this mission. HYDRA still had a grip on him and he was determined to finally be free but at what cost? He wouldn’t wish being captured by HYDRA on anyone.

He could hear Barton teasing Banner behind them so he confessed. “I’m nervous. She wants to help but what if it’s a trap? I have so many questions. She’s supposed to be dead.”

Resting a hand on Bucky’s arm Natasha frowned. She knew what it was like to get mixed up with the wrong crowd, to be on the run. Maybe that was Rebecca’s case. “Maybe she’s been too busy trying to survive like the rest of us.”

The second Steve rounded the corner Bucky was aware of his presence. He recognized Y/N’s failed attempt at shifting instantly. It was the first time Y/N had a negative reaction to Rebecca since they reunited. The smile never left her face but he didn’t miss the way she subtly took a step back eyeing Rebecca’s exposed hands.

“I-is it really her?”

Bucky turned on his heel at the voice. “Guess so. She’s the reason Jane shifted. Rebecca gave Jane a stem cell transplant. I don’t know all the details but she wouldn’t have shifted back if it wasn’t Rebecca.” Bucky felt something warm nuzzle his side, his right arm instinctively wrapped around the figure. He followed Steve’s gaze behind him, staring at Rebecca, alone. Bucky felt oddly satisfied as if he secretly won a silent game of tug of war.

“Done talking to Becca, doll?” Y/N nodded against his side burying herself into his jacket. He wasn’t sure if Rebecca said something to upset her but he knew she was safer under his wing.

“Steven.” Rebecca smiled nodding at everyone in acknowledgment. “It was nice catching up with you Jane but we really need to go. It’s not safe here.” Her eyes met Bucky’s. “I have a place not far from here. Please come back with me.”

The super-soldier’s arm tightened around Y/N pulling her closer in an attempt to shield her. A shared look with Steve and Bucky knew what he was thinking. “Why don’t you come back with us?”

Rebecca pulled her hood over her dark brown locks eyeing the Widows. “I heard the tower has a bug problem. It’s safer at my house. Besides,” lifting the sleeve of her coat Rebecca checked her wristwatch. “I have people waiting for me at home.”

Natasha frowned. How did Rebecca know about the Widows sneaking into the tower when it had taken them so long to notice? Steve, on the other hand, noticed the peaked interest painted on his friend’s face. More people meant more family and if Rebecca was alive who else was alive from the 40s? Bruce gave Bucky a pointed look. One that sent Bucky a clear message. More Barnes meant more chances Y/N wouldn’t be able to shift and would increase her time. Taking a deep breath Bucky knew what he had to do.

“We’ll go.”

Bucky loosened his grip on Y/N enough to get a good look at her. Had he heard her right? Surely she had to know going there would put her life at risk. Y/N pushed away from Bucky avoiding his eyes before he could change her mind.

“Clint, go home to your family. We’ll call when we need you.” Steve announced in his Captain voice. Bucky’s eyes widened at the blonde super-soldier. “You really think I’m gonna miss this?”

Natasha moved towards Bruce giving him a kiss on the cheek. “Go check on Stark. Fill him in. Keep him occupied.” The man whose complexion usually turned green instead became ruddy.

Bucky shook his head. “Nat, no. I can’t ask you-”

A smirk danced on Natasha’s face. “It’s a good thing you’re not asking.” Truth was, Natasha was the outlier here. Steve, Bucky, and Y/N each had some sort of history with Rebecca. She was going to keep an eye on things. Rebecca might have a grip on the three of them but she didn’t know Natasha. She wasn’t going to let anything or anyone get in the way of their mission.

Rebecca’s house was small. A one floor rancher in the suburbs. The house had been comfortable before but with the additional bodies, two of which were super-soldiers, the house had become crowded. The five of them were enclosed in the foyer. Ignoring the wandering eyes, Rebecca pushed past the bodies to hang her coat on the wooden coat rack in the corner.

“Make yourself at home.” Rebecca politely dismissed herself from the foyer.

The remaining four exchanged glances before following Rebecca and removing their coats. Bucky stared down at his glove clad hands debating taking them off. In the end, he decided against it, only removing his coat. He didn’t know what would be worse, Rebecca commenting on his arm or ignoring it all together. He didn’t wear it for her though, he kept the gloves on for Y/N.

“It’s nice.” Natasha commented. “Small but homey.”

Steve nodded in agreement. It was nice to see a coat rack, familiar. Not many people used them today, instead opting for a closet.

Natasha immediately regretted her previous statement upon entering the living room. Everything was a bold color and some sort of outdated print. It was a huge contrast from Stark’s monochrome style Natasha had grown used to. While Steve and Bucky were forced to adjust to the future, Natasha had guessed Rebecca was allotted more time to be sentimental, to keep in touch with her past. Faded pictures littered the fireplace mantle. Their discoloration told Natasha they were the originals. In most homes, a painting or some sort of picture hung above the fireplace; however, Rebecca had hung a folded service flag in a case.

“I hope you don’t mind tea.” Rebecca entered the living room, silver serving tray in hand. “It’s awfully cold out but if you’d prefer someth-”

“Tea is perfect.” Steve interrupted silently taking the tray from her hands. Rebecca sent the blonde super-soldier a tight-lipped smile leading him to the sitting area. Natasha claimed a single cloth chair at the end of the coffee table, Rebecca claimed the one on the opposite end leaving the sofa for the remaining three. Bucky settled on the far end of the couch and Y/N followed like Bucky’s shadow claiming the middle seat.

Steve dropped the serving tray on the coffee table noticing the pained expression the other super-soldier wore. “Something wrong Buck?”

Everyone expected Bucky’s deep voice to boom throughout the tiny house but to everyone's surprise, his voice was just above a whisper, his eyes never leaving the silver tray. “That was ma’s.”

Rebecca nodded despite her older brother not looking at her. “It was.”

Y/N subconsciously rested her palm on the back of Bucky’s left glove.

Steve settled beside Y/N clearing his throat. “You said there were others?”

“Where is everyone else?” Natasha added.

Eyeing Y/N’s hand on top of Bucky’s Rebecca cleared her throat. “I did.” She focused on pouring the tea before she continued. “Harold. He’s here from time to time.”

Bucky scowled. “Harold?”

It may have been over seventy years since the siblings last saw each other but to Bucky, he was barely conscious through most of those years. To him, the forties weren’t that long ago. Rebecca was still young, at least she looked young. He couldn’t help but hate that his little sister was an adult, that she had lived without him for years and didn’t need him.

Rolling her eyes Rebecca handed out the cups before settling back in her chair. “Yes Bucky, Harold.”

“Bye Aunt Becca!” A high-pitched voice shouted before a young girl no more than fifteen skidded to a halt in the archway. “Sorry, I-I didn’t know you had company.”

Rebecca waved the girl off. “Don’t worry about it. We’ll talk when you get home, yeah?”

The girl nodded wrinkling her nose in Bucky’s direction. Y/N felt Bucky tense beside her, offering him the only source of comfort she could at the time, a gentle squeeze of the hand. That time Bucky rotated his hand linking their fingers.

Turning back to Rebecca the girl spoke. “He looks like Beck.”

Rebecca let out a small laugh, the two sharing some sort of inside joke the rest of them weren’t in on. “He does.” Eyes landing on Bucky, Rebecca studied his expression carefully behind the long strands of hair covering his face. “Bye Jaime. Say hi to Harold for me.”

Bucky’s eyes widened frantically meeting Rebecca’s. His mouth was dry as he heard the front door open and shut. Reuniting with Rebecca was one thing but finding out he had a niece was another thing, a niece named after him. His jaw twitched at the thought. Not only had he lost time with his family in the forties, he also lost time with his current family. His niece was a teenager and yet they were strangers to one another. Despite escaping Hydra, they still continue to take from Bucky's life.

A hiss brought Bucky back to reality. Peeking beside him, Y/N was clutching her right hand to her chest. “‘M sorry doll.” Spotting the slight discoloration in her hand the brunette shrunk back mirroring a frightened beast.

“Maybe this is too much.” Steve eyed the two beside him warily. Steve could see the gears turning in Bucky’s head. He knew his friend would retreat into his own head at some point but he hadn’t expected it to happen so soon. He couldn’t help but feel like they were making a mistake. Maybe Bucky wasn’t ready for all of this. At least not yet. Not while they were trying to take down the people responsible for Bucky’s trauma. Steve was prepared to leave at a moment's notice if Bucky needed to.

“No!” Y/N cried shifting to shield Bucky as if everyone in the room would suddenly charge at him with pitchforks. “I’m fine. He didn’t mean it.” Steve gently placed his large palm atop her knee. “Please don’t take this from him.”

“Relax Jane, no one is going to do anything.” Steve attempted to meet Bucky’s eyes but the other man’s focus was on Y/N. The blonde super-soldier opted to direct his attention to Natasha for her opinion instead. The Widow was better at assessing people then he was so a nod from her was all Steve needed to retreat.

“Bucky always was your favorite.” Rebecca smiled fondly, stirring her tea. She found the situation rather amusing. Y/N blushed, readjusting herself. Sure she had told Bucky that before but it was different hearing his sister say it. “It’s nice to see someone defend James for once.” Feeling Bucky’s heated gaze Y/N refused to look at him, instead her mind wandered back to the Red Room when Rebecca was just Doctor Barnes, her friend, who told her all kinds of stories. She always knew but never let herself think about the idea of Rebecca having a life outside of the Red Room. Sitting in her house having tea reminiscing suddenly felt wrong.

“Why’d you leave?” Y/N whimpered clutching her teacup. Bucky wished to comfort her the way she had seconds ago but decided against it when he saw the marks on her hand still fading. He hoped his presence would suffice.

Setting her cup down, Rebecca stared at her lap. Everyone in the room had questions, everyone but her. She had time to process everything, she was able to live it. She accepted who they are, who they were. They did not have to explain themselves but she did. It was now or never. When she lifted her head her face was twisted in pain glaring at Steve. “When Bucky died, I hated you.” Steve froze. He had never talked to Bucky about the time after he fell from the train. It was the first time Steve found out he couldn’t get drunk thanks to the serum. “Imagine my surprise when two random soldiers showed up on my doorstep, instead of his best friend to tell me he didn’t make it.” Her eyes drifted to the service flag above the fireplace. “You didn’t even come to his funeral.” She whispered teary eyed.

“Bec-”

“No.” She continued. “Then you drove that stupid plane into the water. HYDRA was rebuilt and I had to attend another funeral without a body.”

The sudden silence seemed to mock the loneliness Rebecca felt as she relived the deaths of the two men sitting on her couch.

“I’m sorry Becca, I didn’t mean to hurt you. I was-”

“Busy winning the war and avenging my brother?” Rebecca finished. “Yeah, I know.”

Bucky eyed the flagged on the wall taunting him. The Bucky Rebecca knew died that day but he was alive. He didn’t deserve to have a flag. He was alive, he serviced the enemy. Sergeant James Barnes died in the cold and the Winter Soldier was born. Part of him hoped the flag would fall off the wall and burn in the fireplace. That would be ironic.

“At some point during the war I became a nurse. I didn’t want to lose anyone else. I wouldn’t wish that feeling on anyone. If Captain America could die, what chance did the rest of the soldiers stand?” Rebecca shook her head attempting to rid herself of her tortured emotions. “A woman approached me; said she was a widow. I thought she lost her husband in the war.” Her eyes met Natasha’s briefly. “I didn’t know she worked for the Red Room. Hell, we all thought HYDRA was gone. She offered to train me to be a doctor. All I could think of was that I could help more people if I was a doctor.” The corners of her lips twitched upward. “Well, that and that Doctor Barnes had a really nice ring to it.”

Though they didn’t voice it, Steve and Bucky were proud of Rebecca. She had always been smart. While the war allowed some females to take on more masculine jobs, they were expected to return to their regular jobs after the war. Rebecca was the exception but she worked for HYDRA.

“Eventually I was assigned to you.” The younger Barnes spoke to Y/N. “At first it was just routine checkups. You were so young.” She trailed off. After a deep breath she found her voice again. “They eased the idea of the serum to me much later. There hadn’t been another Captain America. I got so caught up in the idea of having some form of Steve back, a connection to my brother that I agreed to monitor the test subjects. HYDRA knew who I was from the beginning, they were always one step ahead. They knew how to manipulate me. At the time I didn’t know Bucky was alive. I didn’t know who I was working for but they gave me opportunities. I was blinded.”

“You said she saved you?” Bucky asked, trying to fit all the puzzle pieces of the story together.

Y/N nodded. “The stem cells.”

Rebecca frowned. “Because of me you needed that transplant.” Suddenly Y/N could see the similarities between the Barnes siblings. They were both so eager to put themselves down, so eager to make themselves the bad guys when they were also victims. “I gave you the serum and it worked for a while. Not in the way it had for Steve or Bucky but it worked for you. You got sick so I took some samples of your stem cells. The serum attacked your stem cells so I gave you mine. You got better but over time I got sick. I was old, working around radiation for years. A year later I was diagnosed with cancer.” She could feel Bucky’s eyes boring into her skull waiting for an explanation of how she was alive. “Some cancers can be treated through stem cell transplants so I used the sample I had from you and it worked.”

“Did you get some sort of powers?” Natasha asked, scanning the woman from head to toe. Natasha didn’t know much about Rebecca prior to meeting her. Bucky talked about her a few times while he was the Winter Soldier but his mind was quickly wiped before she could get anything solid out of him.

Rubbing her hands together feeling the smooth skin beneath her fingertips Rebecca responded. “It made me younger. Like a variant of Jane’s power. I assume this is what the serum was originally going to do to Jane before she fought it causing the physical split.”

Steve nodded. It made sense. Unlike Bucky, the serum had physically changed his body. “What made you leave?”

Sighing, Rebecca admitted, “I found out about Bucky. He didn’t even recognize me. I realized who I was working for and threatened them. I wanted to break Jane and Bucky out but they offered me a deal. The kids. I didn’t even know they existed but they couldn’t survive on their own. After Bucky’s death, I lost touch with our sisters. They wed and started their own families. I believe I’m their great aunt but it doesn’t matter. There was no denying they’re Barnes. I couldn’t let HYDRA get to them so I walked.”

Finding Bucky’s blue eyes Rebecca continued. “I enrolled in some form of witness protection program. I refused to leave knowing what was going on, knowing my brother was alive and suffering. Jane was innocent, she didn’t deserve whatever they had planned for her. Because I refused to leave, Harold practically moved in. He was assigned to us. Kind of like our bodyguard, keeps me and the kids safe.”

“You didn't invite us here for a tea party. What did you mean by the alley not being safe? Why'd you stop us today?” Of all days she could have come forward Bucky found the timing to be poor. If she wanted to reminisce she could’ve come forward earlier.

Rebecca twiddled her thumbs in thought. “There are eyes everywhere. You were making a mistake.” She shifted her focus to Y/N. “You meet with Dreykov next week. He doesn’t know about her disappearance yet. He hasn’t been in since their last visit.”

“How do you know all of this?” The redhead furrowed her brows, setting her own teacup down.

Humming Rebecca disappeared, returning with an average notebook. “When I left HYDRA I logged everything I could remember, patterns and habits. Harold has an inside man. He’s helping me bring down HYDRA.”

Bucky scoffed. He didn’t like the sound of Harold. The man trying to swoop in and save his sister. The man who practically moved himself into his sister’s home. The man who is God knows where with his niece right now.

Rolling her eyes Rebecca stood up. “It’s getting late. Please stay the night and make yourself at home. The kids don’t know about any of this and I’d like to keep it that way. Jaime is staying at a friend’s tonight. Someone can sleep in her bed. I’ll fetch some towels and clothes.”

Water seeped into the back of Y/N’s t-shirt as she wandered the house. She wasn’t sure where everyone was. The house was awfully quiet but that wasn’t unusual considering who was in the house. Y/N’s favorite part of the house was the pictures. She hadn’t had any of her own, at least that she was aware of.

Her fingers ran over the top of a couple of dusty frames. A few kids she didn’t know. Some more recent photos of Rebecca. Stopping in front of the fireplace mantle was a leather spiral photo album. Sweeping the room for any sign of life, Y/N sat down in her previous spot on the sofa, photo album in her lap. Flipping through the first few pages Y/N’s eyes lit up. She recognized pictures of young Rebecca and Bucky. There were two other girls their age in a majority of photos and she could only conclude that they were Bucky’s other sisters. Most of the images were in black and white, some were in a sepia color, a few of them were cracked or torn. The corners of each photograph were tapped down on yellowed pages.

As she turned the page her heart skipped a beat, butterflies settling in the pit of her stomach. Staring back at her was a picture of Bucky his last night home before he left for war donned in his uniform. He was gorgeous. Bucky was beautiful now but this was a side of him she wasn’t familiar with. This Bucky had short hair slicked back, his face was freshly shaved, there was a twinkle in his eyes that she hadn't seen before and a smirk on his lips.

“Whatcha’ lookin’ at?” A voice whispered by her ear leaning over her shoulder to get a better look.

Slamming the photo album shut she craned her neck to get a glimpse of the person invading her personal space. When her eyes met familiar eyes she had just been staring at she felt like her heart was about to leap out of her mouth. “Nothing.” She squeaked, turning around to avoid his eyes. He snorted resting his arms over the back of the chair. Her eyes caught a glimpse of his hands both ungloved, both flesh. She quickly grabbed his left arm massaging the skin beneath her fingertips. It was real, his arm was real. Bells sounded in her head; something was wrong.

Not Bucky. Not Bucky. Not Bucky.

Jumping off the couch Y/N squealed.

“What’s wrong?”

Y/N eyes widened at the new voice. Spinning around to the other side of the room she found Steve, Nat, and Bucky standing in the arch way. Bucky? Had she hallucinated the whole thing? Pivoting on her heel standing behind the couch still stood a two-flesh armed Bucky.

Before anyone could say anything Rebecca pushed past the three Avengers. “What did you do Beck?”

“Me?” He asked in disbelief, jabbing his finger in Y/N’s direction. “She’s the one ogling some old man in the photo album and I’m the one in trouble?” 

Y/N gasped. Snitch! “O-ogling?! I was not ogling!” Facing the Avengers she lowered her voice. “I was not ogling.” Big mistake. Bucky was shirtless, a pair of sweatpants hung low on his hips. Y/N wondered if he was always so fit under all of the layers he always wore.

Beck rolled his eyes.

“I don’t have time for this. Beck, bed now. You have school tomorrow.” Pinching the bridge of her nose Rebecca spoke in what could only be described as a mom voice.

Beck groaned passing Y/N heading toward the other Avengers. It was then that Y/N noticed he was a teenager. Seeing Bucky and Beck at the same time further separated them in age but there was no mistaking they were related.

As Beck reached Bucky he spun around giving Y/N a cheesy grin as if he knew her secret. Beck swiveled back to Bucky, sending him a nod. “Good looking man.” 

“Beck, bed now.” Rebecca called again. As soon as she heard his bedroom door shut, her shoulders sagged. “Sorry about him. He’s a good kid. Smart, charismatic, popular with the ladies. He’s a lot like someone else I know.” Rebecca joked, sending Bucky a smile.

“It’s okay.” Y/N replied, picking the leather book off the floor. “I just wasn’t expecting him to look like that.”

Rebecca nodded. “I was surprised too but I should’ve expected it. The male genes are strong in the Barnes family.” Holding her hand out Y/N passed her the photo album. Skimming through it she paused at a picture of a couple. Spinning the album to face Y/N. “That’s my ma and pa.”

Steve returned to the bathroom while Natasha slipped further into the room to get a peek at Mr. and Mrs. Barnes.

“Wow. He’s-” 

“Old.” Natasha interrupted but what she really wanted to say was dead.

“Handsome.” Y/N ignored Natasha running her hand over the photo. The Barnes really did have good genes. Bucky certainly favored his father’s looks but his mother was equally beautiful.

“Ogling my father now?” Bucky smirked from beside her.

Y/N jumped at the sudden voice. Her breath caught in her throat at that smirk. The one he wore in the sergeant picture. Y/N wondered how long she had been standing there staring at the picture. Natasha and Rebecca disappeared leaving Y/N and Bucky alone.

“Ya know, looks are not the only thing you Barnes have in common.” Y/N muttered.

“Oh yeah? What else do we have in common?” Bucky plucked the photo album from her fingers slumping down on the couch. His eyes squinted as they roamed over familiar faces.

Y/N bit the inside of her cheek falling on the cushion beside Bucky. One leg bent under her as she sat sideways facing Bucky and the album. “You’re all sneaky-”

“So are you.”

“and annoying.” Y/N continued.

Rolling his head toward her, Bucky chuckled. “Now you’re just projecting, doll.”

Doll. Something about the word felt nice coming from Bucky’s lips. It felt right. Y/N clutched her chest as if she was hurt. A blur of red caught her eye and a pleased look took over her face. The silence had Bucky following her eyes to his bare left arm. His eyes widened so lightly that the average person wouldn't have noticed but Y/N did. Y/N blocked his attempt to move his arm over the back of the couch.

“You kept it.” Y/N said in awe. Her fingers tracing the heart on his arm.

Bucky grunted, staring at the photo album. “It wouldn’t wash off.”

Her grin stretched from ear to ear now. “They were washable markers, Buck. You just took a shower.”

The tips of his ears peeking from his hair turned red. He bit his lip debating another lie but he was sure she would see right through it. “Tony said I was branded, HYDRA’s property. I don’t want to be anyone’s property anymore.” He paused to take a deep breath. “Then there was the thing you- the other you said. About being safe. I was gonna wash it off after the mission but Rebecca showed up randomly after this and saved us from going on the wrong day. Maybe I’m superstitious but I couldn’t force myself to wash it off yet.”

“I’m glad you kept it.” Y/N whispered, clutching his metal bicep between her hands.

Bucky eyed her suspiciously. He expected her to make fun of him for it. “You are?”

“Of course I am. At first, I didn’t remember it. Then Natasha told me about it. I was kind of embarrassed but Nat told me you didn’t mind?”

“She told you that?” Bucky was going to have to have a word with Nat. “What else did she tell you?”

Y/N hesitated. Natasha said not to tell the others but did that include Bucky himself? “She told me you two had a thing but were better off as friends.”

Bucky groaned. Why did Nat feel the need to share that? Opening his mouth to explain Y/N beat him to it.

“It’s okay. You don’t have to explain.”

Bucky wanted to explain. To make it clear there was no romantic feeling between the two.

“Anyway,” She squeezed his bicep once more, suddenly realizing she’s still holding it. “If you wash the marker off I can draw it back on. All you have to do is ask.”

Bucky raised an eyebrow. “Really?”

Y/N nodded leaning forward pressing her lips to the heart. A blush creeping up her neck after she realized what she did but Bucky didn’t comment on it. “You’re not property Buck. You’re your own person and if you want a heart, I’ll draw you a heart.”

Bucky swore his heart stopped beating. There was nothing Bucky wanted more but the heart he wanted couldn’t be drawn. He wanted to kiss her, to hold her, to love her but he couldn’t. He wouldn’t put her at risk, especially before the mission. It figures the one girl he wants is the girl he can’t have, he can’t touch but Bucky swore in that moment she touched his heart.

When Bucky didn’t respond her eyes darted back to the arm she was holding. The once red heart now had a blob of red missing.

Bucky’s left hand reached up letting his cold metal thumb brush over her lips. Her breath hitched at the contact. When he pulled his thumb away it was stained red with marker.

“Why did you agree to come here?”

“Because you wanted to.” As if it was obvious. “You needed to.”

Bucky stared at his red painted thumb. “I don't want you putting your life at risk for me. Anyone could touch you and it would take you longer to shift.”

“Don't be a hypocrite Barnes.” Once again she was met with silence. “You rescued me from the Red Room and you volunteered to go into HYDRA’s base with me. You’re playing with fire, practically handing yourself over to HYDRA.”

Maybe he was but playing with fire didn't seem so bad if he got to see HYDRA burn to the ground.

Recognizing she was about to be met with more silence she pulled the blanket off the back of the couch throwing it over Bucky.

“I’m not going to bed.” Bucky sassed like a child whining to stay up past their bedtime.

“It’s not for you Buck.” Y/N began spreading the blanket over Bucky’s exposed chest. Ignoring how nice his muscles felt even through the blanket. Tucked into Bucky’s side, her head rested on his chest pulling the base of the photo album down so she could see it. “Who is that?”

Bucky’s lips twitched. “Steve, before the serum.”

Next Chapter

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[thehyperrequiem]

Right Hand Man Quadrilogy (Shrek Parody) Cast

Right Hand Man 1 - “Once upon a time, in a far away swamp, there lived an stickfigure named Right Hand Man (Puffballsunited) whose precious solitude is suddenly shattered by an invasion of annoying cartoon characters. They were all banished from their kingdom by the evil Queen Chrysalis (Kathleen Barr). Determined to save their home--not to mention his--Right Hand Man cuts a deal with Chrysalis and sets out to rescue Prince William Zeppeli (Joe Ochman) to be Chrysalis's groom. Rescuing the Prince may be small compared to his deep, dark secret.”

Right Hand Man 2 - “After returning from their honeymoon and showing home movies to their friends, Right Hand Man and Reginald Copperbottom learn that his parents have heard that he has married his true love and wish to invite him to their kingdom, called Far Far Away. The catch is: Reginald’s parents are unaware of the curse that struck their son and have assumed he married Pomegranate Cookie, not a cybenetic stickfigure with horrible hygiene and a talking autobot pal.”

Right Hand Man the Third - “When Hop Pop suddenly croaks, Right Hand Man (Puffballsunited) learns he will have to rule the land of Far, Far Away, unless he can find a suitable heir to the throne. The most-promising candidate is Reginald Copperbottom's (Puffballsunited) cousin Giorno (Phillip Reich), a teenage slacker in a medieval high-school. Right Hand Man and his trusted companions, Bumblebee (Bumper Robinson) and Samuel Rodriguez (Philip Anthony-Rodriguez), set out to bring Giorno back but find their mission is a bigger challenge than they expected.”

Right Hand Man Forever After - “Long-settled into married life and fully domesticated, Right Hand Man (Puffballsunited) begins too long for the days when he felt like a real toppat. Duped into signing a contract with devious (Poptropica) Rumpelstiltskin, he finds himself in an alternate version of Far Far Away, where Toppats are hunted, Rumpelstiltskin rules, and he and Reginald have never met. Right Hand Man must find a way out of the contract to restore his world and reclaim his true love.”

(In loving memory of Steve Hardwell, you’ll always be our All-Star)

Right Hand Man (Henry Stickmin) as Shrek

Bumblebee (Transformers Animated) as Donkey

William Zeppeli (Jjba Part 1) as Princess Fiona (Human)

Reginald Copperbottom (Henry Stickmin) as Princess Fiona (Ogre)

Queen Chrysalis (My little Pony) as Lord Farquaad

Blitzwing (Transformers Animated) as The Dragon

Ched (Centaurworld) as Gingy

Sana Hudson (Balan Wonderworld) as The Muffin Man

Newton (Littlebigplanet) as The Magic Mirror

Cioccolata (Jjba part 5) as Thelonius (With Secco as extra)

Licorice Cookie (Cookie Run) as Monsieur Hood

Percy (Thomas the Tank Engine) as Pinocchio

Octavian (Poptropica) as The Big Bad Wolf

Oliver, Jorge, and Mya (Poptropica) as The three little pigs

Gordon, James, and Henry (Thomas the Tank Engine) as The Three Blind Mice

Various Characters as the Fairytale creatures, knights and townsfolk

Tea Knight Cookie (Cookie Run) as King Harold (Human)

Eclair Cookie (Cookie Run) as Queen Lillian

Dark Enchantress Cookie (Cookie Run) as The Fairy Godmother

Pomegranate Cookie (Cookie Run) as Prince Charming

Waterbaby (Centaurworld) as Doris the Ugly Stepsister

Samuel Rodriguez (Metal Gear Rising) as Puss in Boots

Speedwagon (Jjba Part 1) as Shrek (Human)

Cheetor (Beast Wars) as Donkey (Horse)

Spike (My little pony) as Pinocchio (Human)

Cuckoo (Balan Wonderworld) as Mongo

Hop Pop (Amphibia) as King Harold (Frog)

The Lost n Found Botbots (Transformers Botbots) as The Dronkeys

Wildberry Cookie (Cookie Run) as Simon Cowell

Giorno (Jjba Part 5) as Artie

Merlin (Thomas the Tank Engine) as Merlin

Espresso Cookie (Cookie Run) as Snow White

Crunchy Chip Cookie (Cookie Run) as Cinderella

Moonlight Cookie (Cookie Run) as Sleeping Beauty

Elder Custard Cookie (Cookie Run) as Rapunzel

Pirate Cookie (Cookie Run) as Captain Hook

Bowser (Mario) as The Cyclops

Various Minor antagonists (Jjba) as The Trees

Gretchen Grimlock (Poptropica) as Evil Queen

Jasper (Steven Universe) as Mabel the Ugly Stepsister

Red Velvet Cookie (Cookie Run) as Lancelot

Various Bad Guys as The Villains

Captain Caviar Cookie (Cookie Run) as The Ship Captain

Fancy Pants (Fancy Pants), Orange Stickfigure (Alan Beckman), and Hat Girl (A Hat in Time) as Fergus, Farkle, and Felicia

Rumpelstiltskin (Poptropica) as Rumpelstiltskin

Cookatiel (Mario) as Fifi

Soundwave (Transformers) as Pied Piper

The Toppat Clan (Henry Stickmin) as The Ogres

The Wall Staff (Henry Stickmin) as The Witches