#jail answers

[jailrose]

Greetings Jail! ^^

I'm curious about your dead doves. What kinda topics do you tend to veer towards often regarding that? :p

Oh, this is an interesting ask! It honestly, honestly depends on the kind of dead dove content I end up enjoying.

I'm mostly a fluff enjoyer, actually! But when it comes to dead dove they tend to border from mild toxicity to absolute mad fuckery. I'm not exactly comfortable with airing out the kinds of dead dove tropes I enjoy though, and I'm sorry about that ;v; hope you understand! There's a ton of it that I enjoy though, I can tell you that much.

However. The disclaimer in my bio is there for a reason. While it's probably just thrice or four times in a blue moon, I might reblog a bunch of stuff with extremely sensitive content– and end up creating some myself. It's probably not going to be in Tumblr, though; if anything, it would be posted somewhere else, such as my writings on AO3. If that's not your thing, I do suggest curating your experience online and blocking whenever you need to.

[zoe-oneesama]

Getting whiplash in this hospital room.

Episode 53 Part 28 First < Previous > Next Season 1, Season 2, Season 3, Season 4, Season 5 Ep 41, Ep 42, Ep 43, Ep 44 Ep 45, Ep 46, Ep 47, Ep 48, Intermission, Ep 49, Ep 50, Ep 51, Ep 52

Ko-fi | Patreon

[jedi-starbird]

APLAP (Assigned Pathetic Lifeform at Padawanship)

New padawan Obi-Wan trying to figure out how the FUCK to make his master listen and not abandon him to go running off following "the will of the force" when it hits him. Qui-Gon is perfectly happy stopping and taking care of pathetic life forms, but not Obi-Wan. That's it. He's always been prepared, always been dutiful, strong, self-sufficient.

He's cracked the code. He needs to be more pathetic.

The next time he senses Qui-Gon's about to run off he coordinates a scene of utmost pathetic-ness, that is, he throws himself into the nearest fountain. He trudges up to his master sopping wet, water-logged robes swallowing him, with hair sticking to his face and containing bits of algae from the fountain. He mumbles out an apology for being clumsy before looking up at Qui-Gon with the biggest, most woeful eyes possible to ask if he happened to bring any spare robes (he didn't, Obi-Wan knows this because he is usually the one to pack spare robes for them both). His wet hair is dripping water into his eyes that's beginning to turn them an irritated red, and there's algae sliding down the side of his face, it really is masterful work.

"Oh...I'm sure I'll be able to find something by myself, it's okay Master, I know you had important work to do."

Qui-Gon visibly hesitates. Obi-Wan starts shivering. He turns to walk away. He's stopped by his Master's hand on his shoulder. His Master, who walks back with him, who gets clean clothes from their hosts, who has folded like wet flimsi and even explains his stupid, stupid plan before choosing to hotwire a hoverbike with a passenger seat! Oh, Obi-Wan really has cracked the code!

Afterwards, Obi-Wan stages an increasingly pitiful accident for himself every time his patented 'Qui-Gon Jinn Bullshit' detector goes off. Eventually, his Master stops leaving him behind at all, even giving him funny looks when he turns around and Obi-Wan isn’t next to him. It never fails to make Obi-Wan grin and run to catch up. Sure, his reputation as a perfect padawan is in tatters, alongside his dignity, but it’s a small price to pay for a place at his Master’s side, for him to remember there’s a place for Obi-Wan there.

When the ray shields come up on Naboo, Qui-Gon doesn't charge ahead and leave his padawan behind, he hasn't for years. He waits for Obi-Wan because it feels wrong to do otherwise, his padawan belongs at his side.

Much, much later, when Obi-Wan is drinking to the end of the war with friends, Commander Cress will ask him how he kept General Jinn from running off for entire decade. Obi-Wan laughs, informs him, and resolutely ignores the scene Quinlan is making as the man cackles and pulls up a book to shove at them both, titled Classical Conditioning 101: A guide to subtle psychological manipulation.

[bread-that-draws]

Flowey’s so funny and has me so fucked up like he’s a talking flower. He tries to kill you upon your first interaction. He is ten years old. He is damaged beyond repair. He’s a flower named Flowey. He’s become friends with every single character. He’s killed all of them countless times. He knows everything about everyone. He doesn’t care anymore. He takes care of his mom when she can’t take care of herself. He’s killed her before. He doesn’t care if you kill her. He thinks she’s trying to replace him. He just wants to be himself again. He wants to destroy everything. He hates you. You’re the only one who understands him. He wants his best friend back. He’s terrified of them. He believes in kill or be killed because he died by giving mercy to the wrong person. He believes himself to be the wrong person. He doesn’t understand when you show him that kindness he showed others, even when you know he could kill you for it. He’s tried every route. He asks you if you have anything better to do when you try to do the same. He’s a direct reflection of the player. He’s a fucking talking flower named flowey and his only voice line is by Ronald McDonald and his officially licensed plush does a little dance for you

[celaenaeiln]

headcanon

The batfamily - Dick, Bruce, Jason, Tim, Damian, Steph, Duke, Cass, and Harper - knee deep in mud all tired, filthy, sweaty, and super mad, digging up the front yard because Jason buried the body of a mob lord in front of wayne manor years ago to piss off bruce but forgot where he buried it and now the city wants to pipeline maintenance work there.

[that--unusual-person]

Shockwave you must atone for your crimes against bread

By baking bread

he cannot work a toaster

[another-trans-nerd]

I do wonder what everyone in Lenora thinks about thinks about the byers after season 4 cause like

Jane suddenly has a boyfriend (who Angela and co clocked as gay lmao) who doesn’t even call her Jane then she (iconically) hits Angela in the face with a roller skate and like gets arrested the next day

Plus her boyfriend and her brother have a very loud fight in the middle of the roller rink after she gets humiliated which sounds more like a lovers quarrel than anything

She supposedly gets sent off to jail (???) and the next day her entire family + (ex?) boyfriend + argyle + a pizza van vanish off the face of the earth and leave a house full of fucking bullets and dEAD GOVERNMENT AGENTS AND JUST PRESUMABLY NEVER ???? COME BACK ????????????

or if argyle goes back is he just like “man that was one hell of a road trip. I just hope those gay kids work it out” and refuses to elaborate beyond gushing about how much he misses Jonathan

[forsoobado137]

SO Canada got kidnapped by a suburban mom?

Yeah technically. Canada's car broke down. This was before the days of cellphones and shit so he couldn't really call someone to pick him up. Then, this nice middle-aged lady named Barbara offered him a ride. During the drive, she started talking about her life and her kids leaving for college and her dog etc. Canada kinda got to know her and she seemed really kind.

Halfway through the conversation, Canada was like "wait a minute, Barbara's been driving for 30 minutes and this is not my destination." Before he said anything, She offered to buy him some beer when she stopped for gas. While she was in the store, and Canada was all conflicted because on one hand, he wanted to go home. On the other hand, free beer.

Barbara came back with the beer, and Canada checked the can before drinking it. He noticed her pulling up by a small house in a nice neighbourhood. Barbara wanted him to come in and she'd make him some dinner. It was almost midnight and cold as balls outside, so Canada was like "It'd be rude to refuse, eh?"

She made him a delicious casserole, Canada watched a bit of TV, and he fell asleep on the couch. Next morning, he woke up and was like "I should really get going." But then Barbara was like "Oh...but I made you breakfast!" It would be rude to say no, so he ate breakfast (which was also pretty good).

Then, Canada noticed that all the doors were barricaded. But still he's like "I'm already here I can't leave..." Barbara admitted that she wanted him to stay because she hated seeing a young man like him so stressed all the time in his public appearances.

A couple days later, authorities had found Canada's abandoned car. There was this massive search party for him. They suspected terrorists, political enemies, and people who wanted ransom money. While all of this was going on, Canada was just chilling at Barbara's house watching TV and eating mac n' cheese with a foreboding feeling that this situation was really serious. But he just couldn't bring himself to try and leave so impolitely. After all, Barbara was so sweet, and she seemed so lonely.

Then the police found him and there was a bit of a stalemate between them and Barbara before Canada was like "Welp, I think I should head out now before you get in trouble." Barbara relented, but only if he finished his beer and brought some leftover lasagna with him. Canada left, Barbara got arrested, and unfortunately the lasagna got confiscated by authorities.

[skyloftian-nutcase]

Remember the Shafows of Twilight fic where Twilight got revealed as a wolf and were was an ask about how Ulli won't let Twilight on the couch without a bath? Can you write that?

The stakes were higher than ever. Link refused to lose. Glaring determinedly, he settled his elbow on the table as Rusl sat across from him, mirroring his position. Colin shifted, filled with nervous and excited energy, and then he started to count down.

Both men's arms shook with exertion the instant Colin finished counting. Uli watched from the kitchen, rocking Hama steadily. Of all the family, she looked somehow the most invested but least emotional about it. Her gaze was seemingly neutral, but her eyes wouldn't leave the table.

Colin gasped as Link started to push Rusl's arm closer to the table. Rusl's grip tightened, face pulling with effort. Link smiled, knowing he was going to win.

And then Rusl exhaled heavily through his nose, putting all his energy into one last effort, catching Link off guard and slamming his fist into the table. Colin yelled in surprise, hands thrown into the air for emphasis.

From the kitchen, Uli let out a breath she'd been holding, smiling in victory.

Link wilted at the table, a seeming cloud looming over him.

"Then it's settled," Rusl huffed, panting. "The wolf gets a bath."

Link groaned.

That evening, with extreme reluctance, Link dragged his feet to the sacred spring. He didn't bother mentioning that the spring would likely transform him back immediately. There was absolutely no need to share that information.

Uli, on the other hand, was humming cheerfully as Rusl followed her with supplies in hand. Colin, despite multiple protests, was expressly forbidden from coming along. Link had to save his dignity somehow.

"Ma," he pleaded for the millionth time. "I'm clean already. What's the point of this?"

"Honey, when you were showing Colin your wolf form we all could smell it," Uli replied as gently as she could, but the words still made his cheeks flush in embarrassment. "And your fur is matted and bloody. I... I just want to help you wash that journey off you."

Link didn’t really have a rebuttal for that, words stolen away with his breath. The tenderness woven in the words that his guardian spoke immediately eliminated any other protest he might have, and he sighed reluctantly.

Did he truly want to wash such a journey off him? Did he truly want to let go?

Midna…

She said goodbye. He supposed he should too.

He didn’t want to say goodbye. It didn’t feel like it’s as over.

But he couldn’t say no to his mother, so he grabbed the shadow crystal and let the dark magic break and reshape him. It was a familiar sensation by now, intensely painful but only for a moment, and far less so now that he was expecting it. When the wolf shook free of the shadows, he tentatively stepped towards Uli and Rusl.

Uli smiled, kneeling onto the ground at the shore, arm stretched out invitingly. Link took another small step, listening to Rusl chuckle, and he felt his ears peel back in mild annoyance.

This was ridiculous. He didn’t need a bath. It was silly.

It was downright terrifying. He didn’t want to lose everything from his journey. He didn’t want to wash it off himself.

He didn’t know how to move forward.

Uli cupped her hands, letting sacred water sprinkle over Link. It was warm, relaxing, and he felt his body shiver as the dark magic that changed him tried to recede.

“This might not be the best place for this,” Rusl noted. Link glanced at him, disappointed that the man was already picking up that the water would change him back, but he also noticed a distinct unease to his guardian’s posture.

Rusl didn’t want to be here either. Somehow, his amusement had changed to anxiety. Link could sense it; he could smell it.

In an attempt to cheer Rusl and perhaps give a little act of defiance to Uli’s proposal in the first place, Link flopped on his side, splashing directly into the water and soaking his mother. The warmth wrapped around him like a hug, minimizing the pain as he shifted back, and he smiled up at his guardians as Uli spluttered and Rusl immediately looked relieved.

Does he really think it’s a gift if he gets that nervous? Link wondered, watching his father step toward him.

“Well, now you have an actual reason for a bath in both forms,” Rusl noted, and Link recognized that hew as now covered in mud.

Well… that backfired.

Uli tutted, rising, as Link spluttered for a comeback. Rusl tackled the protesting teenager. After a brief wrestling match, Link found himself in Rusl’s embrace, shivering from the breeze but warm against his guardian’s chest. Somehow, in the time they’d been playing, Uli had grabbed a large tub—the one they usually used for bathing anyway—and was filling it with water.

“Ma, I’m all clean now,” Link said quickly, looking himself over. He was soaking wet, but the mud was certainly gone.

“This is for your other form,” Uli insisted. “I got the water from upstream.”

“Does that make it less sacred…?” Rusl wondered quietly.

“Ordona hasn’t sat in it yet, I guess,” Link grumbled, growing irritated again.

“If we build a fire we can warm it up,” Uli noted with a smile.

Her face was too gentle to keep arguing with her, and Link sighed, leaning heavily against Rusl. He glanced up at him, catching his father’s attention, and Rusl held him a little tighter as if to ask what’s wrong?

“When I… you were…” Link swallowed, trying to find the words. He didn’t want to upset Rusl - things were tenuous enough after the night he’d discovered his ability.

“Link,” Rusl said quietly, gently. “I… we both are still trying to move on from that night. Your transformation doesn’t scare me. I know it’s you. You know that.”

“But—”

“My worries have nothing to do with you being a wolf,” Rusl interrupted. “Sometimes fathers just worry. I love you. Now come on, your mother’s waiting.”

Link sighed, not pushing the matter, but Rusl didn’t let him go as he guided him out of the water. Despite wanting to get it over with at this point, Uli made him wait until she was satisfied with the water temperature, dragging his embarrassment and anxiety out further.

Rusl distracted him with talk of sword fighting and tales from the Resistance, and eventually Link finally settled, nearly forgetting why they were at the spring in the first place.

Until Uli said the water was ready.

“Ma, do I have to?”

“Oh, Link, come on now, it isn’t that bad!”

Uli’s voice was growing more disappointed rather than exasperated, and Link felt a twinge of guilt. Sighing, he transformed once more. Rusl, with his back to the spring, gently nudged him forward, and Link grumbled, feeling it rumble in his chest like a growl before it shaped into a pathetic little howl of protest as it left his muzzle.

His parents laughed. They laughed at his plight.

Ears peeled, tail tucked, Link climbed carefully into the basin with Rusl’s help. As soon as the warm water started to seep into his coat, he swallowed, hesitantly relaxing into it. It… certainly felt nice. He resigned himself to his fate as Uli’s hands ran through his fur, gentle, careful, detangling as she went. He saw the tools stacked on a rock, gathered by Rusl over several trips to Castle Town, and he huffed again.

Link closed his eyes as Uli’s hands moved towards his face and muzzle. He closed his eyes, and for a moment time washed over him, hearing his mother’s screams on his first return to the village after transforming, feeling the steel of Rusl’s blade in his gut as he rested. He shriveled into himself a little, and Uli paused before carefully massaging along his nose, between his eyes, behind his ears. She started humming gently, a familiar tune he’d heard most of his life, and Link hated how his lupine form couldn’t hide his emotions like usual, hated how a little whine escaped his throat.

Uli leaned down and kissed his forehead, hugging him, careless of the soap suds she was getting on her. She didn’t speak, and he was thankful for it, as he felt his predicament couldn’t get much more humiliating, but somehow it soothed him anyway. As his mother continued, he dared to open his eyes, glancing at Rusl, who was watching him with a gentle smile. When they made eye contact, his guardian came in closer, cupping his muzzle with his hands and gently rubbing across the fur on his cheeks with his thumbs.

Link shivered a little, helpless and hating that fact. But he felt safe in their care, and… that was a sensation he hadn’t felt in a long time. Link had no need to worry about whether he actually felt safe - he would make a situation safe. Usually, he was the one people went to for safety. But here, in this quiet little moment, he relaxed.

He relaxed. He hadn’t done that since he’d gone fishing with Midna months ago, long before things had grown overwhelming and constant, before they’d managed to find most of the mirror shards, before urgency had kicked in over everything else.

With every new rinse, the stench of blood and dirt lessened. With every gentle caress, anxieties and tight muscles that hadn’t eased since fighting Ganondorf started to release.

Link stepped out of the tub, feeling utterly exhausted and rejuvenated, and he glanced at his guardians. They smiled back.

And then he got the sudden urge to get all this water off him. So he did.

He shook his coat vigorously, making Rusl and Uli yelp. If he could smirk in his wolf form, he would.

”Just for that, I’m using the puppy perfume,” Uli chided.

Link howled in protest, making a beeline for the woods, and Rusl grabbed him before he could flee. His ire was evident in each and every howl and yelp, in the way he wiggled so vigorously he covered his father in fur. Rusl only laughed, but he did finally concede, “Maybe we can avoid the puppy perfume, dear.”

With that threat rescinded, Link relaxed, held awkwardly in Rusl’s arms before grumbling and wiggling again. Put me down.

Rusl walked to the spring, grip tightening a little, before gently lowering him into the blessed waters. Link felt the dark magic recede, and he sighed, rising a little woozily, muscles still fairly relaxed, held steady by his guardian’s strong hands.

“There, see?” Rusl said with a smile, guiding Link out of the water. “That wasn’t so bad.”

“I didn’t get a chance to brush your coat,” Uli noted a little disappointedly.

“You already bathed me,” Link pointed out exasperatedly. “I don’t need pampering.”

“Your fur’s going to be all matted, hon.”

“I’ve had worse.”

“Leave it be, dear,” Rusl defended Link gently. “I think we could all benefit from a break.”

With that, Uli immediately switched tactics, insisting Link come home with them and rest. Link wanted to argue—it wasn’t like getting a bath was traumatic, not in the slightest, just embarrassing; it wasn’t like he hadn’t just had some kind of release from his journey, as she’d promised… it wasn’t like he was shivering and vulnerable all of a sudden, wanting to hold desperately on to that feeling of safety he’d just gotten back—but there was no argument in the world that would work against her.

Link let his parents guide him back to their house, and he found himself settled in front of the fire with a warm glass of milk. Colin was at his side in an instant, smiling and leaning against him. He paused, sniffing, making Link throw him a bewildered look.

“I thought you’d smell like the shampoo or something,” Colin said thoughtfully. “That form really does hide stuff.”

Link knew Colin meant it innocently, but given what Uli had said earlier, it really hit harder than it should. He shook the feeling off, elbowing his little brother. “Well, I’m glad. I don’t want to smell like roses.”

But what if he no longer held Midna’s scent in his fur either? His heart lurched a moment, chest feeling like he’d been punched, and his eyes widened a moment.

And then Rusl and Uli settled beside him with blankets and leftover biscuits from breakfast. And though Link still missed his friend so desperately, he knew he wasn’t at least completely alone.

And… perhaps washing some of the stains of his journey away had been a good idea after all.

[heartludwig]

https://www.tumblr.com/heartludwig/767628418693070848/not-a-lot-of-uses-for-the-jail-in-the-late-game?source=share without the third panel its even funnier to me lol

So trueeeee bestie, It is way funnier lol, I was actually originally going to just do the comic without the 3rd panel but then i figured there is no way Leshy would not do some contrarian stuff when the lamb called him over, anyways heres some of the aftermath of The Jailing™  👇

[spellboundcities]

es from milgram playing cards, losing, then ragequitting

They sat there for five whole minutes in silence before this

[scimagic]

we all miss him :(

he still deserved what happened (except for the whole being institutionalized i think that was a bit harsh) (to me id have just put him him in therapy and arrest him for a bit (house arrest on the LOWEST SCALE) and get him people to hang out with that he DOESNT hate rn)

I'm gonna hold your hand when I say this and please don't break it but I genuinely think you guys are taking the institution thing a bit too seriously

[randomslinky-is-jailed-is-jailed]

what is october 19th and why is it so distressing please enlighten me

oh dude. dude. oh god

well there’s that meme. right “no but seriously imagine it” yadayada yada you’re seeing fob mcr comes out yea yea dan and phil kiss holding the gay flag WELL

when we were young fest is announced, phil retweets

that’s taking place october 19th.

AND. AND.

THEY ANNOCE A TOUR

THEY HAVE NO SHOWS ON THE 19TH

WHERE THE FESTIVAL IS IS IN BETWEEN TWO SHOWS

THEY’LL BE IN THE AREA

THEY USED TO “KNOW” FALL OUT BOY

anyway then in an amazingphil video someone asked “any plans for october 19th?” dan replied with “no but seriously, imagine it” in a jokey way

then. in a pre show. phil saw a gerard way cardboard cut out and said to dan, we need a picture with that for “the thing on the thing day”

THE IMPLICATIONS

and also, the first time they met in person was… yup, october 19th 2009

[hinamie]

megumi out of the bath when hes pruning so badly. bros so clean he killed germs to come for years atp

megumi it has been months that water is Frigid

[mammalsofaction]

The fact that the Doof had been paired and proved most compatible with Perry, canonically and repeatedly proclaimed to be one of OWCA's best agents in the field, is curious to me.

Some fics have a throwaway line or two talking referring to his compatibility with other agents. I think, also, about the canonical fact that he remains as third most dangerous evil scientist in OWCA's ledger.

I also like thinking about the fact that we have been proven, multiple times, in VARIOUS dimensions and fluctuations to the time space continuem, that were he not continuously thwarted throughout his career, he would not only have achieved tyrannical rule, he would have EXCELLED in it, and perfectly undefeated, EVEN BY HIS EVIL PEERS that people loved to pretend were always more competent than him.

Like. I think about that. Why? What makes Heinz so dangerous? What made everyone else incompatible to a point OWCA realized they needed to send their best, and he needed to be on call ALL THE TIME?

Curious

[str8upjorkinit]

Leo in jail due to tax evasion?

FREE HIM