#jai Ma

[premakalidasi]

Krishna as Kali, worshipped by Radha.

"Krishna as Kali worshipped by Radha (recto), from a Kalighat album, c. 1890. Eastern India, Bengal, Kolkata, Kalighat. Gum tempera, graphite, and ink on paper; secondary support: 48.1 x 29.7 cm (18 15/16 x 11 11/16 in.); painting only: 25.4 x 20.4 cm (10 x 8 1/16 in.). The Cleveland Museum of Art, Gift of William E. Ward in memory of his wife, Evelyn Svec Ward 2003.113.a

Krishna’s cowgirl (gopi) Radha was Ayanaghosha’s wife, and her devotion to him transcended marital ties. Whenever Radha was together with Krishna and her husband appeared, Krishna instantly transformed himself into Kali and Radha into her devotee. Radha, a model devotee, symbolizes the human soul and its longing for god. Her willingness to break the rules of duty (dharma) exemplifies her devotion."

(Via)

[vizthedatum]

CW: self-immolation is a sacred testament that cannot be silenced (Free Palestine)

During my current spiritual awakening as a scientist, healthcare data scientist, writer, and varied-trauma survivor, not only am I growing into myself, I am growing into what it means to truly be a citizen of the world.

I grew up Hindu, and I only really connected with it spiritually to my core after a series of traumatic events I faced in this lifetime, including events I brought on myself.

Being spiritual has brought me so much peace. However, I am still living in a world, where there is so much turbulence, where there is so much suffering.

In so many religions and spiritual practices, the concept of worldly suffering is heavily discussed. Everyone has their own justifications and their own way of mitigating (or propagating) suffering.

In this post, I will be addressing the genocide of human life in the Gaza Strip, along with the various other genocides that have plagued my lifetime, including the Rohingya genocide. The following topics will be mentioned as well: the constructs of hierarchy that somehow lesson some people's lives and elevate others, self-immolation as a spiritually grounded form of protest when your soul cannot find another way, suicide and attempted suicide, complicit-ness, and generational and worldly abuse/trauma.

--

When Aaron Bushnell self-immolated on February 25, 2024, I avoided the news even more than before.

I fully understood why he did it, but it also brought back memories of the time when my brother, in his teenage years, went behind his high school to self-immolate. He failed and went to the hospital with burns. This suicide attempt was one of several that he would face for most of his life.

Aaron did it out of protest to Free Palestine. My brother did it out of an intention to commit suicide because not only did he not want to live, he did not feel wanted in this world.

What makes a person not wanted? What compels whole swaths of people to either protest or support mass murder?

These are some of life's big questions, huh?

Spiritually, I consider self-immolation an act from the soul. My belief stems from my worship of the matriarchal depiction of godly being from Hinduism. She is known by so many names: Mahadevi, Devi, Shakti, Ma, Mahamaya, etc.

One of her forms is Sati. Later, "sati" became the name of the self-immolation practice that widows perform on the pyre of their husband's body, during his funeral.

The term, "sati," stands for nobility and truth in Sanskrit. It's not literally about self-immolation - it's about standing up for what you think is right and being very clear about what is suffocating you to the point of your soul being burned alive.

In short, Sati's story is about her protest of her husband, Shiva, not being respected by her family. She marries Shiva - her godly companion through every reincarnation of the Mahadevi - and her father doesn't like it.

Shiva, Brahma, and Vishnu are the male counterparts of the "holy trinity of Hinduism" - they're considered *the supreme Gods.*

Her father prepared a ritual sacrifice event (a yajna) and did not invite his son-in-law. There are so many details to this - including that her father was human (well this is contested since he was a part of Brahma) and had devoted himself to Brahma, that all these figures were among the early humans (and gods) in Hindu mythological lore, and that despite factuality the stories are metaphors and descriptions of the layered nature of humanity.

Sati wanted Shiva to come, but he refused since he wasn't invited. Sati instead went to the yajna and she was humiliated by her entire family. Her husband's name was also tarnished.

She couldn't take it - not only was Shiva in the same class of deitic prolificness as Brahma, Shiva was her husband.

She threw herself in the fire of the yajna and self-immolated. She sacrificed her life's energy to go back into the universe or higher power, because she could not stand for this injustice.

Shiva became so stricken with grief and anger, he destroyed the yajna (later the yajna was restored) and threatened his father-in-law's life.

He took his wife's body and wandered around. 51 pieces of Sati's body fell to the earth and became what is known as the Shakti Pithas.

These 51 sites are in South Asia, and people still pay pilgrimage and worship at these sites.

I've personally only been to one - the one in Kalighat where my maternal family line lives. I'm a strong worshipper of Kali Ma, and I believe she spoke to me there, amongst the crowds, when I was 25.

The number, 51, is contested of course - but that's not the point.

The reason why Hindus make pilgrimage to these sites is because of her great sacrifice. It was a test of divinity.

She recognized what was important to her and that Shiva was indeed a supreme deity - and then she sacrificed her own supremeness to both defend him and herself.

--

In South Asia, self-immolation is spiritually considered a noble act of protest due to this story (and so many other stories).

Unfortunately, it becomes a problem when people are FORCED to self-immolate (as in the case of the sati practice where it's rooted in misogyny and patriarchy) or when people are COMPELLED to self-immolate due to lack of community and mental health resources (such as in the case of my brother).

I don't think it becomes noble or truthful in those instances, even if there are hints of the truth underlying these issues.

I think back to Sylvia Plath in these cases sometimes - she committed suicide by suffocating herself in her oven. Her poetry and words will probably inspire generations upon generations. But I understand why she did it - I am of the opinion that she was surely abused by her husband and traumatized by the lack of support from her community. In short, I believe her husband (whose second wife died from the same method of suicide) was abusing her in the form of narcissistic, sociopathic, or psychopathic abuse to the point where she felt suffocated. Since she could not bring herself to break free, she suffocated herself.

And in the case of mass genocide where a person who has dedicated his life for the protection of humanity (Aaron was a serviceman of the United States Air Force) - I can see why he had to stand up for what he believed to be noble and true.

--

It's hard to look away when someone so young gives up his life for a cause. I think that was precisely the point. He knew he had power as a young, white man serving a militaristic force in America.

There are so many people who are doing nothing in the face of all of these mass genocides in the world. I don't think it is fair to leave the concept of human suffering up to the higher power.

It is not the higher power's job to fix this for us. I believe that to my core.

Being silent about human suffering is being complicit in it.

I know that many people are not able - or they don't even know - to have an impact on the lessening of suffering. But we must do what we can. A quote I often quote on many, many occasions is by Angela Davis: she says: “Sometimes we have to do the work even though we don't yet see a glimmer on the horizon that it's actually going to be possible.” Do something, take inspired action - don't be silent. You don't have to self-immolate, but please consider the sacrifice and the severity of the situation.

[mysticalblizzardcolor]

[squishyneet]

what they're like when they're in love [lookism] - 𓆩♡𓆪

someone who becomes very carnal, oddly in tune with their feelings. if they feel like they can't have you, they become sulky and ruminating.

Eugene, DG, Taesoo

they hate being ignored, they will make you love them one way or another. you can't escape them.

Jaegyeon Na, Geonseob Ji, Goo Kim, Gyeoul Baek, James Lee, Gitae Kim

wya babygirl. they are forward and not afraid to show their love. gifts, dates, kisses, everything.

Kouji, Jihan Kwak

it's either or for them. they're okay if you don't like them back and are fine with being friends. may not even show their feelings at all.

Eli Jang, Warren Chae, Hangyeoul Baek, Gun Park

will slowly and carefully seduce you with their romance. they're very sure of themselves.

Jake Kim, Sinu Han

they continue being friends in hopes you will eventually feel the same way. might confess later on if they have the courage.

Daniel Park, Johan Seong, Jay Hong, Zack Lee, Gija Kim, Mira Kim, Zoe Park, Crystal Choi

confesses right away hoping they are accepted.

Vasco, Hudson Ahn

confesses right away hoping they are rejected.

Samuel Seo, Vin Jin, Mary Kim, Jichang Kwak, Jace Park

they don't do anything.

Mandeok Bang, Jinyoung Park, Jerry Kwon, Jibeom Kwak, Yuseong

[fred-the-dinosaur]

loving the glass onion posting but I'm really sick of the 'birdie Jay stops flirting with blanc because wearing sweatpants makes you 'fruity'' or whatever post. because:

a. bit sick of the idea that we're still perpetuating homophobic and toxic masculinity principles in this day and age, at least amongst ourselves. straight people clocking gay men for wearing a 'girly' sweatpant company feels threatening, not really like a cute queer in-joke. especially given the current climate.

b. I don't think birdie Jay WOULD stop flirting with a gay man. I bet she's the kind of woman who likes to put her hands ALL OVER her hot gay friends at the club because 'is fine you're GAY and I'm a WOMAN and it's impossible to sexually harrass a MAN right?'

c. THAT'S NOT THE REASON. she doesn't make sweatpants for her friends to wear. she makes sweatpants to profiteer off the pandemic and lockdown. blanc saying he wears sweetie pants tells her he's not a disruptor. he's not in her class. he's a MARK.

THAT is why he's off the flirting menu.

(Also this is exactly blanc's game. we know he's doing this. he's TRYING to look hokum and naive. he's trying to make them underestimate him and distract from Helen being a fish out of water too. pity this little bit worked on you too.)

[lady-of-lyon]

The only thing they can agree on is that Lloyd would be Magic

[premakalidasi]

Durge Smṛtā Harasi bhītim aśeṣajantoḥ svasthaiḥ smṛtā matim atīva śubhāṁ Dadāsi Dāridryaduḥkhabhayahāriṇi kā Tvad Anyā Sarvopakārakaraṇāya Sadārdracittā

4.17 Remembered in distress, You Remove fear from every creature. Remembered by the untroubled, You Confer even greater serenity of mind. Dispeller of poverty, suffering, and fear, Who other than You Is Ever Intent on Benevolence toward all?

--The Devi Mahatmya

[vizthedatum]

When someone gets to know me, they’ll know that I worship Kali Ma. I get very touchy about it sometimes (I used to be perpetually mad about her depiction in Spelunky (the game)).

Now that I’m fully decorating my apartment, my worship of her is very external (in addition to internal). I have depictions of her and her forms all over the place. I have an altar that’s primarily dedicated to her (and Durga Ma and everyone else).

With every passing day, I relinquish more control (but not my self worth or anything like that) of my destiny to her - it’s part of how I am religious and spiritual.

I used to not be so spiritual. It’s been an on and off journey my whole life. I used to be super upset by the misogyny and bigotry that my culture and religion would stand for. And I was confused as to how the gods could allow for such human evil to exist in the world.

Ever since leaving my ex-spouse, my spirituality has brought me an immense amount of peace. It’s helped me reconnect with who I am - and it’s helped me make more sense of the evil in the world. And the, of course, shadows that reside within me.

Do you know what Kali Ma stands for… in my eyes? (I mean, she’s everything but that’s not what I’m alluding to here)

She stands for ego death and renewal. She reminds me that with every single life challenge that gets thrown my way, I have the opportunity to GROW, to DESTROY, to make ANEW. She gives me hope, where sometimes I feel like I have none.

And I love her. I’m so glad she’s here protecting me like this. I’m so glad she’s helping me tap into my own power.

[ahalliance]

if i think about qantoine and pomme too hard ill cry

[celadons-penultimate]

💁🏿‍♂️The Flash has SO much more mythos to explore beside Flashpoint. Plenty of speedsters & allies, plenty of Rogues & other antagonists.

Whether y'all know / respect them or not, they are there.

Their family

-could easily sustain multiple simultaneous, continuing comic titles (even if its just a main Flash title & a slice-of-life, like a speedster version of Batman: Wayne Family Adventures)

-should have multiple seasons of an animated TV show

-should have a movie trilogy by now 🤷🏿‍♂️

Like...give them more! Around the world, across time, throughout the multiverse! It'd surely mean coming up w/ new Rogues & other threats beside the ones we're familiar with, but that works for me; they (and we, their fans) deserve more! 🤩

[lookismfanfics]

You know what it is…

Behold, more Lookism Actor AU!

[capyfroyo]

This is skybound finale

[allonnotion]

Hunger Games: Lookism Pt.1

Decided to do a Lookism hunger games and...chaos ensues. Enjoy these 'iconic' moments, ig...

and the winner is...

the results:

i lost the link to the simulator again. sorry :(

hunger games masterlist

[superiorkenshi]

Moi: Franchement ça fait genre 8 mois qu'on ce parle plus et je le vis super bien

Moi ce soir:

[premakalidasi]

And, indeed, he soon discovered what a strange Goddess he had chosen to serve. He became gradually enmeshed in the web of Her all-pervading presence. To the ignorant She is, to be sure, the image of destruction; but he found in Her the benign, all-loving Mother. Her neck is encircled with a garland of heads, and Her waist with a girdle of human arms, and two of Her hands hold weapons of death, and Her eyes dart a glance of fire; but, strangely enough, Ramakrishna felt in Her breath the soothing touch of tender love and saw in Her the Seed of Immortality. She stands on the bosom of Her Consort, Siva; it is because She is the Sakti, the Power, inseparable from the Absolute. She is surrounded by jackals and other unholy creatures, the denizens of the cremation ground. But is not the Ultimate Reality above holiness and unholiness? She appears to be reeling under the spell of wine. But who would create this mad world unless under the influence of a divine drunkenness? She is the highest symbol of all the forces of nature, the synthesis of their antinomies, the Ultimate Divine in the form of woman. She now became to Sri Ramakrishna the only Reality, and the world became an unsubstantial shadow. Into Her worship he poured his soul. Before him She stood as the transparent portal to the shrine of Ineffable Reality.

The worship in the temple intensified Sri Ramakrishna's yearning for a living vision of the Mother of the Universe. He began to spend in meditation the time not actually employed in the temple service; and for this purpose he selected an extremely solitary place. A deep jungle, thick with underbrush and prickly plants, lay to the north of the temples. Used at one time as a burial ground, it was shunned by people even during the day-time for fear of ghosts. There Sri Ramakrishna began to spend the whole night in meditation, returning to his room only in the morning with eyes swollen as though from much weeping. While meditating, he would lay aside his cloth and his brahminical thread. Explaining this strange conduct, he once said to Hriday: "Don't you know that when one thinks of God one should be freed from all ties? From our very birth we have the eight fetters of hatred, shame, lineage, pride of good conduct, fear, secretiveness, caste, and grief. The sacred thread reminds me that I am a brahmin and therefore superior to all. When calling on the Mother one has to set aside all such ideas." Hriday thought his uncle was becoming insane.

As his love for God deepened, he began either to forget or to drop the formalities of worship. Sitting before the image, he would spend hours singing the devotional songs of great devotees of the Mother, such as Kamalakanta and Ramprasad. Those rhapsodical songs, describing the direct vision of God, only intensified Sri Ramakrishna's longing. He felt the pangs of a child separated from its mother. Sometimes, in agony, he would rub his face against the ground and weep so bitterly that people, thinking he had lost his earthly mother, would sympathize with him in his grief. Sometimes, in moments of scepticism, he would cry: "Art Thou true, Mother, or is it all fiction — mere poetry without any reality? If Thou dost exist, why do I not see Thee? Is religion a mere fantasy and art Thou only a figment of man's imagination?" Sometimes he would sit on the prayer carpet for two hours like an inert object. He began to behave in an abnormal manner, most of the time unconscious of the world. He almost gave up food; and sleep left him altogether.

But he did not have to wait very long. He has thus described his first vision of the Mother: "I felt as if my heart were being squeezed like a wet towel. I was overpowered with a great restlessness and a fear that it might not be my lot to realize Her in this life. I could not bear the separation from Her any longer. Life seemed to be not worth living. Suddenly my glance fell on the sword that was kept in the Mother's temple. I determined to put an end to my life. When I jumped up like a madman and seized it, suddenly the blessed Mother revealed Herself. The buildings with their different parts, the temple, and everything else vanished from my sight, leaving no trace whatsoever, and in their stead I saw a limitless, infinite, effulgent Ocean of Consciousness. As far as the eye could see, the shining billows were madly rushing at me from all sides with a terrific noise, to swallow me up! I was panting for breath. I was caught in the rush and collapsed, unconscious. What was happening in the outside world I did not know; but within me there was a steady flow of undiluted bliss, altogether new, and I felt the presence of the Divine Mother." On his lips when he regained consciousness of the world was the word "Mother".

--The Gospel of Sri Ramakrishna

[vizthedatum]

no one: ...

me: I will code/program up the PERFECT Sri Yantra with perfect concurrency, concentricity, and equilaterality in R using base and ggplot2 packages.

*has been coding this during their "free time" for the past several weeks*

*has somehow programmed several versions of random geometric proofs into functions*

*realizing they are on a journey*

*I am so close... I can feel it, but maybe that's what the whole cosmic joke is all about lmao*

--

For those who don't know, the geometry of the Sri Yantra is a complex geometrical problem. It's also extremely holy for reasons I cannot explain in this blog post.

It's an open problem even though people have drawn it *almost* perfectly by hand (and by this software called GeoGebra (which I'm not using)). There are also different versions of this yantra.

If I can do this (and I coded my program to spit out the precision measures) with a high degree of precision, I am going to take it as a literal sign from the universe.

(I need to upload this to github, sigh)