#James Lee

[melljam]

☆ fav lookism character designs ☆

[trueebeauty]

“Are you afraid of me?”

Are you afraid of them? - lookism men

“You wish.”

Honestly, they wished you were afraid of them sometimes. Then maybe you could see how they weren’t good for you. But then again, they were relieved you weren't afraid. It meant you trusted them, and that trust meant everything to them.

"Ouch, sorry to disappoint. I'll try to be more terrifying next time.”

𝐒𝐄𝐎𝐍𝐆𝐉𝐈 𝐘𝐔𝐊 - 𝐊𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐀 𝐌𝐀𝐆𝐀𝐌𝐈 - 𝐓𝐀𝐄𝐒𝐎𝐎 𝐌𝐀 

“Sometimes.”

And could they even blame you for that? They scared themselves at times too. Their actions or words occasionally made them question their own intentions or motivations. They understand.

silence, an intense look

 𝐎𝐋𝐋𝐘 𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐆 - 𝐑𝐘𝐔𝐇𝐄𝐈 𝐊𝐔𝐑𝐎𝐃𝐀 - 𝐉𝐎𝐇𝐀𝐍 𝐒𝐄𝐎𝐍𝐆 - 𝐗𝐈𝐀𝐎𝐋𝐎𝐍𝐆  

“Why would I?”

The pure confusion on your face makes their heart flutter with joy. The thought that you can't fathom any reason to be afraid of them softens their features into a warm smile.

warm smile "You know me better than that." 

𝐃𝐀𝐍𝐈𝐄𝐋 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐊 - 𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐔 𝐇𝐀𝐍 - 𝐉𝐀𝐊𝐄 𝐊𝐈𝐌 - 𝐙𝐀𝐂𝐊 𝐋𝐄𝐄 - 𝐉𝐀𝐂𝐄 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐊 - 𝐉𝐀𝐘 𝐇𝐎𝐍𝐆 (everyone listed here is a GREEN FLAG)

“Should I be afraid?”

Good question... Should you be afraid of them? It's not an easy question to answer. They know they can be intimidating at times, even if they don't intend to be.

considers for a long moment "Sometimes I'm not sure myself."

𝐉𝐈𝐍𝐘𝐄𝐎𝐍𝐆 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐊 - 𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐔 𝐇𝐀𝐍 - 𝐄𝐋𝐈 𝐉𝐀𝐍𝐆 - 𝐉𝐀𝐄𝐆𝐘𝐄𝐎𝐍 𝐍𝐀 - 𝐉𝐈𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐆 𝐊𝐖𝐀𝐊 

“You should be.”

𝐒𝐀𝐌𝐔𝐄𝐋 𝐒𝐄𝐎 - 𝐆𝐎𝐍𝐆𝐒𝐄𝐎𝐁 𝐉𝐈 - 𝐕𝐈𝐍 𝐉𝐈𝐍

( + the ‘yOu ShOuLd bE’ : 𝐄𝐔𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐄 - 𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐘𝐄𝐎𝐔𝐋 𝐁𝐀𝐄𝐊 )

“Nah. You’re a big softie.”

You're absolutely right. They don't even know why they asked such a question. Despite their attempts to come across as tough or intimidating at times, deep down they're quite gentle and kind-hearted.

smiles tenderly "Only for you."

 𝐄𝐔𝐍𝐓𝐀𝐄 𝐋𝐄𝐄 - 𝐉𝐄𝐑𝐑𝐘 𝐊𝐖𝐎𝐍 - 𝐉𝐎𝐇𝐀𝐍 𝐒𝐄𝐎𝐍𝐆 - 𝐉𝐈𝐁𝐄𝐎𝐌 𝐊𝐖𝐀𝐊 - 𝐉𝐈𝐇𝐀𝐍 𝐊𝐖𝐀𝐊 - 𝐇𝐔𝐃𝐒𝐎𝐍 𝐀𝐇𝐍 ( + dare I say : 𝐕𝐈𝐍 𝐉𝐈𝐍 )

“Yeah. I mean, kinda. No... Definitely.”

Definitely. You should run for the hills when it comes to them. Their words and actions are unpredictable and even dangerous at times. Being afraid of them is a completely understandable response. 

nods solemnly "Smart move. The real me is best avoided."

𝐆𝐔𝐍 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐊 - 𝐆𝐎𝐎 𝐊𝐈𝐌 - 𝐉𝐀𝐌𝐄𝐒 𝐋𝐄𝐄 - 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐋𝐄𝐒 𝐂𝐇𝐎𝐈 - 𝐆𝐈𝐓𝐀𝐄 𝐊𝐈𝐌 - 𝐒𝐀𝐌𝐔𝐄𝐋 𝐒𝐄𝐎 - 𝐓𝐀𝐄𝐉𝐈𝐍 𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐎𝐍 ( aka - THE RED FLAGS)

"I'm working on it, I swear. This isn't who I want to be..."

𝐆𝐀𝐏𝐑𝐘𝐎𝐍𝐆 𝐊𝐈𝐌 - 𝐄𝐋𝐈 𝐉𝐀𝐍𝐆 - 𝐘𝐔𝐒𝐄𝐎𝐍𝐆

[yourlovermumu]

''open your mouth, baby.''

''...huh'' you blink dumbfoundedly as you stare at the man hovering above you. his messy hair pushed back with a few strands falling over his face.

''i said..'' he grabs your cheeks with only one hand as he brings his face closer to you. his eyes looking into yours and holding eye contact.

''open your mouth for me, pretty.''

you hesitantly obey. slowly opening your mouth for him while unaware of what he intended to do.

he grins as you slowly began to open your mouth, flashing his pearl white teeth with a menacing look in his eyes.

''thats it, good girl...open a little wider..''

you do as he says. opening your mouth wider as you stare at him cluelessly. but your eyes soon widen when a warm liquid suddenly hits your tongue. you blink twice or so, trying to process what that was before realization finally hits. he just spat in your mouth.

''shallow.''

he says as he wipes his bottom lip with his thumb, a little spit having remained on his bottom lip after he spat inside your mouth.

again, you obey. shallowing down his spit. letting it go down your throat as your eyes never leave his.

he groans at the sight.

''god...so fucking obedient. such a pretty little slut for me, arent you?''

he chuckles as he brings a hand up to push back all the stray strands of hair that fall over his face but some of them refuse to get pushed back and come bouncing back.

''your...making me hard again.'' he sighs as he brings a hand down to his length and strokes it.

''you can go again right? oh fuck- you have no idea how pretty you look right now all fucked out...''

all you can do is stare at him as you still pant slightly from him fucking you previously. looking into his eyes with your fucked out ones.

your eyes travel down from his eyes to his hands, that suddenly grabbed your thighs. you let out an small gasp when he pushes your legs back into your chest. he slowly positions his rock hard cock against your pussy as he licks his lips. you moan when he rubs his tip onto your entrance teasingly, he does it checking to see how you would respond. would you push him away? crying that its too much for you to go again without a proper break or would you moan beautifully for him and let him do as he pleases?

turns out it was the latter because you do moan when he rubs his tip against your pussy. it makes him grin because he knows you want this too. want him to fuck you into a fucking mess.

''ah, look baby..your twitching down here.. do you want me that badly? gonna let me fuck you till you get pregnant with my babies, arent you? heh..my baby is so naughty..''

gojo, toji, samuel seo, mammon, tsukishima kei, oikawa, jonggoo, ace,

[wannaeatramyeon]

DG x Reader: Manager and their Idol

8.5k. G/N. Soft, colleagues to lover (guess I love this trope). Masterlists

You had imagined life as a K-Pop idol manager to be much more glamorous.

You pity your young naive self. The one that envisaged schmoozing with stars and rubbing elbows with the movers and shakers, and instead set you on this horrid, lacklustre path.

What you didn't expect was the amount of time playing driver. Carting that stupid pink haired brat around. Waiting on him hand and foot during shoots and interviews, and being at his beck and call.

You have saved his ass more times than you can recall, ran through scripts with him, practised his stupid dances and moves alongside, protected him from unhinged fans and reporters and scavengers.

And yet you can count on one hand the amount of times he has thanked you.

Actually no, it didn't require any hands because he has thanked you exactly zero times for all your early mornings and late nights and for going above and beyond your duty.

Out of desperation, you had asked your boss if you could manage someone else and the request was declined.

"DG has taken a liking to you," she said, tone impressed as if that was something you should be proud of.

"Great," your smile comes out as more of a grimace.

And goddamn, this agency was so stupidly prestigious and the benefits and perks here really are second to none. Just why did Diego fucking Kang have to be their top idol.

.

.

The first time you crossed the threshold into his building, greeting the reception security guard and entering his penthouse keycode like you had been let in on the world's greatest secret, you had tiptoed around like a child in a museum. After all, this was DG's residence. The DG!

You had ooh-ed and aah-ed at every little thing. 

Taking delight in seeing his interior design of choice, the type of candy that he snacks on, the shampoo and conditioner he uses, the way he organises his desk. This is the chair DG sits on to eat. This is the sofa DG lounges on to watch TV. This is the bed he sleeps in, the bath he uses, the toilet he-

Any wide eyed innocence and awe evaporated after your first week working together.

Today, you stab in the entry code and let the door shut with a bang. 

You set his now cold coffee order on the kitchen counter and rifle with practised fingers through his unopened mail to see if there is anything you should draw his immediate attention to. You pick up his discarded clothes from the floor (and for fuck's sake, this suit jacket was on loan) and make your way to his bedroom where tufts of pink hair peeks out from under the cover.

"Good morning," you announce, locating the remote to open the blinds and letting in some sunlight.

Bedsheets rustle behind you.

"Good morning Diego," you repeat and give one warning, "I hope you're decent." With that, you throw the covers back to find the scantily dressed idol glaring up at you.

You remember the days when this sight would have made you weak at the knees. Seeing him half naked, in the flesh, freshly woken up with bedhead and half lidded eyes. It's what most of Korea dreams of, including yourself once upon a time.

Now all you feel is extreme irritation.

"Good morning," you say for the third time, plastering on a saccharine smile that you know DG sees clearly through because it is insincere as hell to anyone with half a brain cell. You let the fakeness shine through anyway.

For a split second, DG frowns as his eyes drop to your lips and then he pretends everything is good. Smiling back prettily, sharp canines on show and stretching. Lifting his arms overhead, showing a good stretch of pecs and abs and the line of muscle in a V pointing like an arrow straight down to his-

You roll your eyes.

"You're late." You throw the covers back over him and stride back towards the door. "We should have left half an hour ago." You leave out the part where you had been waiting downstairs in the car and after an hour of no show and no anything, you stomped your way up to his home.

DG, sensing your mood, adds oil to the fire with a smirk, "Why didn't you wake me then?"

If that idiot bothered to look at his phone, he would see a number of missed calls and unread messages from you.

Whatever.

"Hurry up."

.

.

DG has come across many people like yourself over the years. All cute and bright eyed, way too soft.

He never gave you any special treatment, for better or worse, and assumed that you would eventually burn out or give up and move on to something more worthwhile.

Unfortunately, in a rare turn of events, he had miscalculated.

Of course most people would be starstruck, it's only natural. But he mistook your sincerity and kind smile for ignorance and missed your sharp, observing gaze, and astute mind.

He's impressed, and he really can't remember the last time he was impressed.

In a matter of days of working together, you had managed to cut through the bullshit and within the month got him more compliant and docile than anyone else ever has.

Which should be a huge fucking problem, and raising red flags all over DG's mind.

...Except-

What's really troubling him right now, as he sulks in the passenger seat and you in the driver's, is that you have developed some sort of resistance to his charms.

Maybe a part of him does actually miss the you who he formed the first impression of. Who looked at him in wonder, with the same admiration that everyone else did.

Now that he knows you, he hates that he had thought that initial admiration was insignificant and worthless.

.

.

DG has a stash of candy in the car.

Or more accurately, you keep a stash of candy next to him to a) Shut him up and b) Keep him tolerable.

If DG wasn't so aloof, the fact that he has an incurable sweet tooth (and probably cavities to prove it) would have made headlines as a cute K-Pop fact and likely garnered sponsorship and advertising deals with all sorts of confectionary brands.

You had only found out during your adventures as his manager, rifling through his kitchen drawers trying to find his goddamn phone that he misplaced and you stumbled upon his stash of candy.

It really was a disgusting amount, something you'd expect a gaggle of grade schoolers at Halloween to hoard, not Diego goddamn Kang.

And then you also found out if he's not quiet and haughty in the car, making the atmosphere awkward, he likes to comment on your driving.

Who even sits in the passenger seat next to their 'chauffeur' anyway? He complains about you braking too suddenly and not accelerating fast enough. How you drive like an 80 year old with cataracts, and you're too slow when the light changes to green.

The turn in your relationship happened when you snapped at him to shut the fuck up after losing the final shred of your sanity on a three hour drive.

DG, to your dismay, didn’t miraculously lose his hearing and turns to you as you silently berate yourself for voicing the quiet thoughts out loud.

Although, you're in the deep end now. You're gonna get fired anyway, so if he says anything else you might as well give him a flick on the forehead or a pinch or maybe a punch to the face-

Instead, he laughs.

It's nothing like the laugh you have heard on TV and in interviews. The rehearsed and manicured 'haha' or cool chuckle that suits his shiny persona. It's kinda goofy and a lot endearing.

What's even more endearing is the way he does actually shut the fuck up for the rest of the journey. You like him a lot more after that.

So. You digress.

The candy is a way to keep the sweet toothed maniac quiet. Even if it doesn't work, at least it's harder to make out what insults he's slinging with a lollipop rattling around his mouth.

However, he has never ever shared any with you. Any of the candy that you stock, and pay for.

(That you technically claim back on company expenses, but you're trying to be self righteous here.)

Ever.

In all the months of working with him, he gobbles away happily even if your stomach is growling and you refuse to take any yourself out of principle.

Until-

"Here."

"Huh?"

Taking advantage of your response and open mouth, DG leans into your personal space and feeds you some chewy strawberry something or another (which coincidentally are his least favourite), fingers lingering on your lips for a fraction of a second.

Three things happen in quick succession.

The burst of sugar hits your tongue.

You nearly choke.

You narrowly avoid swerving.

"Careful now," DG grins when you get the car and yourself under control, and glance at him with a scowl.

Good. That proves you're not completely immune to his charms.

.

.

That bastard has now taken it upon himself to feed you candy at every opportunity.

You wonder if he's doing some sort of Pavlov experiment. The sweetness trying to erase any sourness you feel towards him.

It sort of works, and you consider biting his fingers off one of these days.

You hear the crinkling of wrappers, one for him that he pops into his mouth, and one for you that he gives without asking.

You angle your head towards him, and his fingers graze your lips every time.

Neither of you comment on the change but the intimacy drives you a little crazy.

.

.

And DG too.

Because intimacy works both ways and damnit his little gesture to keep the pretty blush on your face has backfired.

The only form of intimacy he knows comes from discreet hookups and low key links. Not someone who is around day in, day out. Or anyone that goes deeper than one night stands and booty calls.

You're there, you're always there. Of course you are, you're his manager.

But today, he feels under the microscope with you standing a couple metres away and keen eyes watching the camera monitor.

It's a no nothing day. Standard schedule where he shoots a fragrance commercial and he exits a pool all wet and sultry, white t-shirt clinging to his muscled body.

Then another scene where he writhes around slightly on a sunbed and eye-fucks the camera.

How it sells a fragrance, he never knows. The mystery of showbiz.

"Cut! More powder!" The director shouts out, the crew springing into action and DG knows exactly why.

He feels strangely embarrassed and flustered, which has manifested into his cheeks being flushed, and god he can't even remember the last time he has been like this.

It’s out of character and he needs to get his head together.

As the make up artist hurriedly dabs on some foundation, you make your way over to him.

"Are you sick?" you ask, concerned and reaching out to feel his forehead with the back of your hand.

"I'm fine," He says, turning away from your attentiveness and staring at a point in the distance.

.

.

With most people, if DG wants them out of sight, they stay out of sight.

But as his manager, and a very competent one at that, it’s harder to get you to leave.

Not that DG wants you to either, don’t get him wrong. 

The only constants he has around him are people who want something from him. And yes, he knows you’re only in his company because you work with him. However, he really can’t doubt the concern he always sees in your eyes. The compassion and empathy even when he makes you want to scream and tear your hair out.

His standoffish demeanour is not new to anyone. It’s part of his appeal to be quite honest. 

Yet he feels bad over the next couple weeks as he turns it up to eleven and tries to create some distance. He registers the hurt on your face as he is extra short with his answers and behaviour.

.

.

Pandering to overinflated celebrity egos and the insane Korean work ethic often leads to after hour shoots and dinner delayed until past midnight.

Honestly, this wreaks havoc on your sleep schedule and your skin.

"Here." You retrieve DG's takeout from the paper bag.

A double portion of delicious fried chicken with a side of kimchi and pickles. It's a change of pace from what most idols order, yet he doesn't give two shits about calories or sodium intake and to add insult to injury, somehow manages to keep his trim figure.

You lament your soggy salad sitting at the bottom. As if it’s not sad enough right now - once you arrive home, the lettuce will be wilting and room temperature and you will eat it in your dimly lit apartment with nothing to keep you company except the sound of the TV.

DG notices you turning to leave his penthouse, and his mouth moves before his brain can.

"Aren't you staying?"

"What?" You double take at the question.

DG's company is usually worse than your lonely meal for one. 

He’s annoying and you frequently want to slap him, but how he has been with you lately has been troubling and you actually feel a sense of relief at his offer.

(You had wondered if you might have been getting sacked up until this moment.)

Nevertheless, in all your time working alongside, you have never had a proper meal one on one together. Nothing more than you driving with one hand and the other hastily shoving a burger into your mouth as he looks on in disgust.

You would have dwelled on this more, wondering what's changed, what’s happened, but then-

"I'll share." DG nudges the box towards you, and the delicious scent of deep fried, battered goodness wafts along with it it

All your misgivings and your salad is forgotten.

.

.

Almost.

No, you were wrong.

Eating with DG, without any distractions such as traffic to navigate or other boisterous colleagues around, is unnerving. Disarming.

His haughtiness remains, but how haughty can someone be when munching on a drumstick.

All frostiness from the past weeks melts away as you both eat your way through his chicken.

He’s talking more tonight than you have heard in a while.

You find him funny, and really quite bitchy. Which you did know all along except it's much funnier now his slanderous comments aren't directed at you.

And has he always looked at you with such a piercing gaze? So intensely focused on what you have to say. Even if you're just complaining about your boss, blurring your lines of professionalism, he gives you his full attention.

You really can't remember the last time you have been in each other's company like this. 

You loathe to admit that even with what an asshole he is, DG's shine hasn’t dulled enough for you that you don't understand the appeal.

.

.

Leaning forward, DG whispers into your ear.

To anyone else, it looks like an over-affectionate idol with their manager. If they could hear his words, "I'm going to kill you," they would think otherwise.

Ok, so this one is your fault.

The good times have to come to an end and maybe you should have been more careful with his pride and joy - some ridiculously overpriced and over-specced vehicle.

Taking advantage of the clear blue Seoul skies, the pink haired menace was the one who drove you today in his fancy imported sports car, but the speed limits and the rest of the traffic was not on his side.

Already running late, even for him, he parked somewhere convenient and illegal then passed you the keys, leaving you stranded on the sidewalk, mouth opening and closing like a goldfish, as he strode off to meet his music producer and choreographer and left you to park his baby elsewhere.

Why he entrusted you with it, you're not sure.

You would have done it anyway though, because when else are you going to have an opportunity to drive a supercar, if your boss didn't call at that moment. Questioning your expenses and DG's schedule and confusing you about the fitting at a fashion house and hair styling appointment that you knew like the back of your hand but when someone is so confidently incorrect, you start to doubt yourself.

By the time you got off the phone after pacing up and down the street and checking and double checking DG's timetable, you finally make your way back to the car-

And see it in the middle of being compounded.

You had begged and pleaded with the two men who were having none of it and you left, tail between your legs, to beg and plead with the other man who you knew would also have none of it.

Damn, you hate it when you prove yourself right in these instances.

You know DG won't really kill you, but he will likely make your life hell for the next couple weeks.

.

.

A normal person being pissed off at you would probably result in the silent treatment until tempers cool down.

DG does the opposite. Sort of.

He takes pleasure in making things as awkward for you as possible, until you're squirming in your seat trying to stay professional, thinking about your job and your rent and your bills; or torn between wanting the ground to swallow you up.

Around other people, your boss, your colleagues, his colleagues, he sidles up to you all smiles and soft looks. Slips purposely into banmal, and then oopsy, pretends that he didn't mean to be so informal with you around others.

Gossip soon stirs about your and DG's close relationship, if there's something else going on. Only you can see the mischief in his eyes and the malice in his smile and you think about yanking him by the ear and demanding to know what he is playing at.

Alone, he denies any sort of miscreant behaviour. Barely listening to you complaining and snapping at him. Ending with him outright ignoring you and you fume even harder.

This time, you're not sure the punishment even fits the crime. 

Any guilt soon dissipates when his car is returned in perfect condition within a couple days but his performance lasts for weeks.

.

.

Teasing you has always been fun for DG - when your cheeks dust angrily with pink and your eyes burn with fire.

The equivalent of a boy pulling a girl’s pigtails in the school yard.

.

.

Meetings with HNH Group usually do not involve you. If it does, at most you are waiting in the car.

Luckily, there are also an assortment of cafes and restaurants within a stone's throw and it gives you some time to debrief and catch a breather from following DG's hectic schedule.

The downside is you're never sure if a two hour meeting will be condensed to fifteen minutes or if a quick catch up with Charles Choi and other Executives turns into an all nighter.

There's been days where you have ordered a meal, then had to abandon it with a sigh and a longing look as you spot DG striding out of the building looking pissed off that you're not already there, or stayed in the vehicle with the engine running and your stomach rumbling as short appointments overshoot.

Maybe this is another consequence from DG being petty and irate with you for getting his car towed - you're left snoozing at the steering wheel of your runaround, the idol standard-issue luxury minivan, waiting for his return.

It's far too late in the evening for anywhere to be open, only the fluorescent lights of convenience stores and glare of the HNH logo illuminates the streets.

DG opens the sliding door, climbs into the back and slams it hard enough to jerk you awake and rattle the entire van.

He’s sitting by himself in the back, which is odd enough in itself.

As you blink away the dregs of sleep, in the rearview mirror, you notice the stiffness in his shoulders and the tightness in his jaw. His eyes stare vacantly out the window. DG is clearly upset about something, enough to crack through his aloof veneer.

"Are you ok?" You don't get a response, not even a passing glance.

Obviously something has gone wrong with the HNH Group meeting and the stress has manifested.

You wrack your brains thinking of something that might cheer up this asshole and you think of the only thing that improves your mood when you're on the verge of a breakdown.

(Usually due to the aforementioned asshole in your current presence). 

"Tteokbokki and beer?" You offer. It’s past your bedtime but a sulky DG for the rest of the week will also ruin your week too.

DG briefly looks at you before going back to staring at the window. It’s not a no.

You don’t get home until past 4am that night. 

At your favourite late night hole-in-the-wall, you eat far more tteokbokki than DG. On second thoughts, you don’t remember him eating any at all. You’re talking and downing beers to fill the silence, trying to perk up this silly celebrity. Loose lipped and spilling far more details than you would if you were sober, with him seated opposite and sipping on a soda. 

As the night ticks along, he thaws and a small smile settles on his face watching you gesticulate and ramble about your life.

You don’t get home until past 4am that night-

With DG driving, piggybacking you up to your apartment, and tucking you into bed.

.

.

DG can’t stop thinking of the weight of you on his back, arms slung over his shoulders, legs at his waist and his hands gripping your thighs.

You slurring drunkenly into his ear as he climbs the stairs in your building. It’s mostly nonsense. He can’t make out your words but remembers your breath tickling his skin.

And when he wraps your duvet around you, the brief moment of lucidity in your eyes as you look at him, softer than you ever have, you tell him, “Thanks Diego.”

Diego.

.

.

Nothing changes between the two of you after this. Not really.

You still find him an enormous thorn in your side. Incredibly stuck up and haughty and you continue to want to throttle him on a weekly basis but you are immensely grateful for him not leaving you a passed out heap on the sidewalk.

You’re in the middle of chastising him once again, dragging him out of bed as he is running late and being an absolute dick about it. Taking it easy as if he has all the time in the world. 

Well of course he does. He’s not the one that will be getting an earful from your boss or on the receiving end of the production crew’s complaints, as if trying to manhandle and cart this manchild around is easy.

“Diego Kang, I swear to fucking god-”

"James." He says, interrupting you as he picks out and pulls an eye-wateringly expensive jumper over his head.

"What?"

"Call me James when it's just us.” He checks out his outfit in the mirror, seemingly satisfied with it, before moving onto his hair. “James Lee. That's my real name."

DG, or James Lee, keeps his eyes on his reflection. Inspecting his non-existent roots, styling his fringe to make it fall just so and applying a liberal amount of hair product.

Nonchalant and casual even as he offers something desperately personal about himself.

"James," you say, trying out the sound for yourself. A name that seems at odds with his loud K-Pop shell but you imagine a time before the fame and the celebrity and the pink hair and it somehow fits.

"James," you repeat, and receive a small smile in return. Then it drops as you add, “If you don’t get your ass in the car in the next five minutes I will kill you.”

.

.

“James,” you think to yourself before you drift off to sleep that night. 

How peculiar.

“James, James, James.”

.

.

Celebrities these days are multi-hyphenates.

DG is an Idol-CEO-Actor, or at least trying to add the last one onto his resume. On looks alone, he would have already gotten his foot through the door. Add on his reputation and popularity, he is drowning in offers.

What you personally dislike more with K-dramas scenes though, is how long things take. How much it revolves around other actors and their managers whereas DG being in the studio or filming a music video is pretty much all him.

This K-drama is supposed to be the next big thing. 

With the biggest names attached, including DG who is making a cameo. The cameo that was also scheduled to be filmed five hours ago but you have both just been lurking in his dressing room since.

Along with some measly snacks and refreshments, which the crew has been kind enough to provide. 

However, the snacks are all but gone (thanks to you) and the refreshments are dwindling and there is no end in sight.

DG, or James, as you have started to call him in your head, is on his phone. He’s always on his phone. Scrolling through news articles, responding to important emails and messages.

There’s only so much news or celebrity gossip you can take. You have exhausted your own social media feeds and you have spent far too much money on your gacha games and the guilt has set in.

You twiddle your thumbs on the sofa next to him as he takes no notice of your presence and you decide to rest your eyes. 

Why not anyway? DG doesn’t need anything right now, work won’t be interrupting you, and there’s nothing for you to do. Just for a minute or five. Until someone from the production team knocks on the door and announces that it’s time for his scene.

DG side-eyes you when he notices your breath start to slow and deepen. Falling asleep on the job, really?

Then you let out a snore before smacking your lips together a couple times and he holds back a snort. He reasons that he should let you have some time to rest. After all, you’re the one that drives him around, his life is in your hands everyday and tiredness kills.

He’s on his phone for a few more minutes, reading through more emails on PTJ Entertainment and out of the corner of his eye he notices you drooping.

Body slowly slumping to slouch over him, until your head makes contact with his shoulder and you’re snoozing happily on your newfound pillow.

It’s equal parts inappropriate and cute.

Ugh, DG is 99% sure you’re drooling on him and the wardrobe department isn’t going to be happy when he returns the outfit.

Either way, that’s not going to be his problem. He adjusts minutely, makes it just a touch more comfortable for you and continues to scroll.

.

.

You wake up to a wetness by your mouth, and to your horror, DG smirking down at you.

.

.

Despite none of this being your fault, you apologise to everyone about having to reschedule DG’s music video shoot due to the previous day’s K-drama delays.

To your relief, the music video goes swimmingly and without a hitch, and the production is wrapped up on time. 

You’ll happily bet that his new song will go straight to No.1. If not, then at least the sensual music video will guarantee DG remains top of mind for weeks. 

You’re updating your boss and even she seems to be pleased.

"This is just work." DG interrupts as you're mid call.

You look up at him, brows furrowed.

Holding your hand to your phone to mute the speaker, you whisper, "I know."

"Good," and he walks away leaving you as confused as ever.

It's not the first time you have seen him shoot an MV, which thank the heavens is so much more efficient than bloody k-dramas, and also not the first time that there's been scenes that emulate an intimate moment. Lips nearly brushing together. Hands roaming bodies under fake rain.

Even if DG notices that you're watching the scene, eyes glazed over and bored, he still felt the urge to explain to you that there's nothing between you and the leading lady in the video.

Once out of sight of everyone, he facepalms himself for his ridiculousness.

.

.

You’re right, and you absolutely love it when you’re right.

The song goes straight to No.1 and holds that position for weeks, fending off competition from boy bands and girl groups and other solo artists. Apparently it’s going to be the song of the summer.

The music video also breaks records for being the most watched within 24 hours.

DG only reviews it once for post-production checks and finds it just fine.

There’s something he can’t quite put his finger on that seems off with it.

He wonders what it would look like if it was you starring opposite him.

.

.

“Where on earth is he?” You grit your teeth and grip harder onto the umbrella that is threatening to be swept away by the wind.

And another thing with being DG’s manager: it’s fine if he’s late but not if it’s you.

(Although to be fair, this instance of him being late is likely due to this particular music producer he’s meeting with enjoying the sound of his own voice.)

You were running late exactly one time in the past, during the first couple days of managing him, when the skies opened and drenched the earth. 

Heavens forbid DG’s perfect, beautiful, flawless hair is ruined by the rain. 

It’s not like he looked like a drowned rat. The paparazzi caught him in a wet t-shirt, fabric clinging to his abs and his pink hair slicked back stylishly. Even the goddamn raindrops were running fashionably down his high cheekbones and dripping off his pout.

For the next week, the tabloids and internet forums went wild with how hot he looked. 

(Who knows, maybe that was the inspiration for his fragrance commercial.)

Nevertheless, DG was displeased and it made its way back to your boss how displeased he was.

Ever since, you have been the unfortunate soul waiting in all manners of weather for him. Rain storms, blistering sun, freezing snow.

Today, it’s your favourite. Rain. You shiver against the elements trying to take shelter under the building entrance canopy, the wind whipping the downpour every which way and you’re getting soaked regardless of how you angle your umbrella.

“Hurry up, DG.”

You check the time over and over. He would be early to his next appointment if he exited the building now. 

…On time.

…On time if the traffic was in your favour.

…Late, but not terribly so.

…Fashionably late.

… Late enough to piss everyone off in the room.

Shit. Just as you begin to fret, wondering if something has happened to him-

Clicks and flashes from cameras alert you to his royal highness finally making an appearance, ready to exit the studio and making his way over to the car.

He materialises by your side, and you mutter a familiar phrase to him. 

“You’re late.” 

It’s a mantra you’re tired of repeating, but he relishes if the amused grin is any indication.

Without a word, he takes off his trench coat and drapes it around your shoulders. His right hand covers yours over the umbrella handle, left wrapping around your waist as he guides you through the throng of reporters and fans.

“What are you doing?” You hiss under your breath. 

You can imagine the optics now from the papers and your boss. It looks… Well. Not terrible but not the best.

“You’re soaked,” is all DG provides, accompanied with a raised eyebrow and a smirk. 

He opens the driver’s door for you before he climbs into the passenger’s side.

.

.

Thank goodness for your gift of the gab.

He’s being a gentleman, you tell everyone that would listen. Isn’t this what Korea wants? An idol with manners and who looks after everyone? Is empathetic and caring?

Think how well it would resonate with the female demographic, who wants a boyfriend like this! The older boomer demographic, who thinks none of the young ‘uns have any manners anymore!

Your boss isn’t convinced until the advertising offers for umbrella companies roll in.

.

.

Truth be told, DG doesn’t know what possessed him to do that. Especially in front of cameras.

Though, it’s not like he could just let you get even more drenched could he? You’re standing there, looking pitiful and he was just going to let you hold the umbrella over him when he should be the one taking care of you-

Hold on.

DG frowns at himself.

Damn.

.

.

James Lee has never looked after anyone besides himself. You need to look after yourself if you are to survive this dog eat dog world. To make it atop the Pre-Generation, the First Generation and now the Second.

He had unfathomably high expectations of himself (that he managed to achieve) and low expectations for relationships (that hadn’t been proven wrong yet).

People have flitted in and out of the chapters of his life, no-one staying around for long. Definitely no-one staying around long enough to know him, for him to grow comfortable with. 

Perhaps it has been the forced closeness that has caused him to let his guard down. Cabin fever, in a sense.

But James Lee, Diego Kang, has himself also been around long enough to know there’s more to you and he wants more of you.

.

.

Finding reasons to spend time together isn’t difficult. Actually, finding reasons to spend time apart would be much harder.

You both get on with your jobs and your duties, even as the closeness grows day by day.

And every time when you’re alone and you call him James, his heart grows fonder.

.

.

Out of all the seats available in his apartment, James lounges next to you, long legs draping over yours.

It's another night in together.

These seem to be happening with increasing frequency. DG at least used to keep up appearances, networking with his fellow celebrities.

Parties where you used to look at him with distaste as starlets surrounded him, award shows that he couldn't care less about as you hung around in the background.

Now he prefers to stay in with you, using work as a thin excuse. Studying lyrics that he has already memorised, going over dances that are long ingrained in him.

"You're not going to her party?" You ask, you were sure this fan-favourite and DG were an item or had history. At the very least, the who's who of the industry always attended her gatherings.

"No," his eyes continue roving over the lines.

Then when you thought the conversation was done, he looks over the top of his paper, eyes sparkling with playfulness, "I prefer being here with you."

Oh. Your breath catches in your throat.

You think you might never breathe normally again.

.

.

No, that’s a lie. Any opportunities for rose-tinted glasses has long passed by. You both know each other too well for that.

You breathe perfectly fine. Actually, this morning you are taking deep breaths to try and centre yourself. 

It’s not working. 

“You’re always fucking late,” you snap, giving in to your anger.

Sometimes you think it is your fault for not watching over DG 24/7. That instead of going back home, you should just live with him so you can shake him awake when he is supposed to get up instead of when he wants to.

And does it hurt him to look the least bit contrite at making your life a misery? 

Why does he have to look so smug with a lollipop stick hanging out his mouth? Seriously, between all the rushing around this morning, when did he find time to look for goddamn candy?

“For fuck’s sake, James.” You’re speed walking towards his front door, looking at the Maps app on your phone and miss his smile at you snarling his name. 

You’re already running behind and every route to the recording studio is red due to roadworks or an accident or just plain ol’ congestion. “Shit!”

Your finger jabs at the elevator button multiple times.

“It’s not going to get there any quicker if you do that,” DG speaks lowly into your ear and you get the urge to pinch him.

Instead of prodding some more at the button, you turn around and prod him in the chest.

“You’re going to get me fired one of these days,” You growl. “It’s fine for you, Diego goddamn Kang, the star who is pretty much untouchable. I’m not. I’m replaceable. There’s a million people who would take my job-”

DG snatches your hand, holds it still. “You’re not replaceable.” Then adds with an infuriating grin, “So what if we’re late.”

The minivan is skipped, and his answer to your problem is his other pride and joy. A motorbike that looks far too aggressive and a complete death trap.

“I’m not getting on that,” you say as DG hands you leathers that materialised from god-knows-where and a spare helmet.

“Fine,” he says, shrugging and throwing a leg over. “I don’t think your boss will be happy.”

“Fuck!”

.

.

If this was any other situation, you would be acutely aware of yourself pressed up against DG’s back. Your arms wrapped tightly around his waist.

Except all you can focus on is that you’re going to fucking die. You think you might be screaming.

“Stop screaming!” His disembodied voice calls out. Oh. Turns out you are.

For some reason, DG had thought the helmets with built in speakers and mic would be better for communication. Fun, even. Frankly, you’re just giving him a headache.

(Not to mention the fact that he bought a spare helmet at all. And leathers that he thought would be exactly your size.

He had never rode with anyone before and you certainly had never expressed any interest. Yet he passed by a motorcycle store when he had rare time to spare, and visited on a whim.

If he dwelled on this anymore, DG is sure his headache would turn into a full blown migraine.)

Later that night, when the ringing in his ears finally subside, he will still think about the way you held him.

.

.

When public opinion is on your side, then that’s fantastic. Amazing. You tend to get away with all sorts of things.

When it’s not, the truth can become muddied and there’s mental gymnastics from all sides painting you as the villain.

Fortunately, public opinion generally works in DG’s favour, especially in the case of his stalker who got sentenced for more jail time than if she was harassing a normal person, but not long enough to account for all the distress she has caused.

Such is the criminal justice system.

Her date of release looms large and near. DG, despite his talent and fighting prowess, realises certain traumas can’t be erased.

He grows on edge. Skittish. Snaps at any and everything. It’s noted by journalists. Other managers gives you questioning looks

You don’t miss his change in demeanour. To you, the reason behind it is obvious. 

You’ve heard about this case, everyone has. It dominated headlines for almost a month: the crazy sasaeng fan who believed herself to be DG’s girlfriend before moving onto another poor soul and was finally arrested.

As he spirals, nothing you do or say to him manages to get more than a nod or a frown. You try to offer that she had fixated on someone else before she was arrested, hoping that was a small consolation to him. And though he managed a weak smile, the black cloud still hangs over him.

In the end, you pack your bags and arrive at DG’s one evening. Instead of letting yourself in like you usually would, you ring the buzzer, smile into the door camera and tell him “It’s me!”

The door swings open to reveal DG looking perplexed (and worse for wear). Head tilting, curious and inquisitive when he sees your suitcase and carrier bags full of snacks.

“I’m staying for a while.”

“According to who?”

You barge past him anyway with a grin.

.

.

The date of his stalker’s release arrives and passes without drama.

You miss your home comforts but it makes you happy to see DG’s mood genuinely improve as the days go on.

The luxurious oversized mattress, fancy spa shower, and jacuzzi bathtub also helps to make your stay a bit more bearable.

Not to mention each morning DG actually cooks breakfast for you. Turns out he’s not bad at all at playing a househusband, and it’s also maddening how he manages to get up each day before you when he hasn’t got any place to be.

“Thanks James,” you say, when he presents you with a home cooked meal and his smile grows a bit more each day.

.

.

Peace doesn’t last.

Blurry photos of you both leaving and entering DG’s apartment at all hours of the day and night make the front page of certain news sites.

Headlines scream with leading questions. 

“Relationship beyond Manager and Idol?”

“How a Manager seduced their Idol.” 

“Who is this mystery person that has tamed DG?”

Why anyone deemed it newsworthy is beyond you. You’ve been to his apartment a million times. 

Yes, you suppose the closeness of DG and yourself in the photos can look a little suspect. 

In this particular one, it looks like you have your hand caressing his chest when in actual fact you were shoving him away for a dismissive comment he made.

And the other photo, of his hand on your wrist, was actually him dragging you away when he spotted a herd of fans in the distance.

More pictures unveil themselves.

A snapshot of you driving and DG feeding you candy.

You and DG, whispering intimately in your ear as his supercar is being towed away in the background.

You red faced and drunk as DG piggybacks you outside your building.

His jacket wrapped around you, hand on your waist and angling the umbrella over you.

Him smiling down at you (ok, you admit that you didn’t realise how soft that looks to other people.)

Finally an exceptionally pixelated image of you both on his bike, that could be anyone really.

Unfortunately, your opinion is in the minority as the articles are inundated with comments and furious, tearful fans shrieking that their idol is betraying them. 

Simply unhinged.

.

.

The speculation grows. You’re damned if you do deny anything, damned if you don’t. Your talent agency puts out an official statement.

To your ire, the statement is ‘no comment’ rather than anything more definitive. You glare at James when you find out, suspecting he has something to do with this.

He gives you a shrug, and a familiar look of mischief.

To his credit, he doesn’t leave you completely to fend for yourself. You stay off social media for your sanity, and when the paparazzi hounds you, he's the one with his arm around you, cutting a path through the crowd and shielding you.

It adds fuel to the fire. Does nothing to help your case. 

Still, you can’t help feeling safe and secure with his hand guiding you - holding onto your waist, round your shoulder, or simply - 

Your hand in his.

.

.

Outside of the conference room, where DG is wrapping up a press release for his newest album and nothing else, a reporter slinks out and approaches you.

You’re used to being on the other side of the conversation. Part of the staff, herding DG through camera flashes and questions being thrown at him though there was always some sort of camaraderie. Both parties just trying to do their job with deadlines and targets to hit.

This time you just feel a weariness as you see this person making a beeline towards you.

“Nice to meet you, Y/N.” They say, holding out their hand for a shake which you take with reluctance.

“Hi.”

A voice recorder is thrusted into your face, and you automatically take a step back. “Hope you don’t mind, but I just have a couple questions for you.”

“Um...”

“There’s been lots of sightings of you and DG together-”

You open your mouth to argue-

“Can you confirm your relationship with him?”

A vacant smile settles onto your face. It’s a practised expression where you follow all the cues to be polite and professional even as internally you wish to be anywhere but here. “I’m his manager.”

“Are you two together? Romantically?”

“I’m his manager.” You repeat through gritted teeth, and you’re surprised to hear your voice calm and collected.

“Is that a no? Or-”

“What even is this question?” You scoff, ignoring the way your cheeks heat, and refusing to partake in this circus a moment longer. “This is over.”

You manage to at least catch them looking apologetic, before you stride off into a corner to take a deep breath.

.

.

DG, much more adept and experienced at fending off questions, had finished the conference early and caught the entire exchange, watching you both with a bemused look.

Walking towards you with quiet, measured footsteps, his hand settles onto your lower back as he murmurs your name.

He bites back a laugh at your small, startled jolt.

DG tilts his head to signal ‘this way’. You give him a look but follow him regardless. Trailing behind, moving far away from other prying eyes. 

Up a flight of stairs, through multiple fire doors, turning left then right then another right then maybe a left. It doesn’t matter. You’re hopefully lost and decide to just put your faith in this wretched idol.

He finally seems to find what he’s looking for as he reaches an empty corridor; stopping mid-step and you collide into his back.

“Ack!” You exclaim, hitting the solid wall of muscle.

He lets out a huff of laughter and whirls around to face you, noting how cute your look of surprise is.

How strange though, that this is his current position. But is it really unexpected that the person that has been by his side for months has finally worked their way into his heart and has somehow learned to read him when no-one else could?

If he really thinks about it, yes actually, it is unexpected. No-one else has managed to grow close to him before. As James Lee, as Diego Kang. Birds of a feather or opposites attract or everything in between, no-one has got him like you do. 

There’s still so much more to tell and show you but… First things first.

Fidgeting, you shift your weight from one foot to another, growing self-conscious waiting for DG to talk, only to find him staring intently at your face. Impatient, you give in and speak first.

“What is it?”

“...”

“Diego-”

“James.” He cuts in abruptly, “It’s just us right now. Please.”

You blink in shock at the please and correct yourself at his insistence, lowering your voice so it doesn’t echo down the empty hallway. “James, are you ok?”

“Better than ever,” he says, a smirk now pulling at his lips.

You register his change in mood and narrow your eyes, wondering where this is going. “Why are we here?”

“When the reporter asked if we were together, you said you’re my manager.”

“I am your manager.”

“But you are interested in me.”

It’s not a question. DG, no James, says it like a fact and there’s no doubt in your mind or his. You open your mouth to argue, then close it again. Open it once more-

What.

You feel some cogs in your brain misfiring and all you can manage is a feeble, “Huh?”

“You told them you’re my manager, but didn’t say no to being with me.”

“...”

“So. What do you think?”

“Of what?”

“Us.”

“You like me. Tell me that I’m wrong.”

You take a step back. “...”

Another step. “...”

“Tell me you don’t want this.”

And your back hits the wall with an oomph.

DG slaps his hand on the wall beside your head, bends at the waist and leans his weight forward until he’s eye level with you. “Tell me and I promise I’ll stop.”

“...”

You’re cornered and he searches your face for a response.“Y/N?”

“...”

Fuck. Fuck!

How on earth are you supposed to respond when he looks at you like this. When his face is millimetres from yours and his breath is on your skin and his dark eyes pierces into your soul, pupils blown deliciously wide.

With his stupid pink hair and his fringe flopping, framing his face and his high cheekbones.

The stupid canines of his poking out that gives him so much character and is so hot it hurts when he flashes it accompanied with an arched brow and an arrogant smile.

His stupid pout and his stupid lips, that you know is constantly moisturised with a fancy overpriced lip balm to make it look kissable for the cameras.

And Jesus Christ, you hate to admit it but they do. They 100% do because somewhere in the back of your brain you always knew they look kissable but it has been often clouded by just simply how annoying and bratty you found him.

Except right now you don’t find him annoying or bratty at all.

Even as he’s confessing his feelings with complete confidence, no unease, no anxiety or doubts, because he always had a way of worming under your skin and he knows exactly how to push your buttons.

Damn it all.

“Kiss me,” you tell James, and he isn’t surprised at all by your reaction, face lighting up at your confirmation.

He shifts. 

Hand coming up to cup your cheek. He rubs his thumb twice over your skin, savouring you any way he can before tilting your face towards his. His lips at first brushes against your forehead. Leaves a trail down your nose, peppers both cheeks and then your chin. 

He draws back once, takes in your sweet face and gives you a smile so soft it makes your heart hurt.

Then finally, after wanting this for so long, presses his lips against yours.

Diego Kang, James Lee, tastes like candy and sugar.

[sasucaty]

"I alone am the honoured one" aah mfs

[chaostroberry1]

Cheating headcanons but they regret it ;)

So let's say maybe he might've found a lover more suited for him, even though he was already in a perfectly good relationship with you, then suddenly got caught. Thought he didn't really need you anymore, but started to miss u and regretted it. How'd that go? Well..

Fandoms : Bllk, lookism, record of Ragnarok

Typa guy to cry himself to sleep with a picture of you beside him to make it more dramatic and movie-like. Mumbling things to it like, "I'll get you back, love."

- yukimiya kenyu bllk, -Reo mikage bllk, Rin itoshi bllk -ikki niko bllk -Alexis ness bllk -Yo hiori bllk, -Beelzebub ROR -Zack lee lookism -daniel park lookism -Eli Jang lookism -johan seong lookism

Stalks your social media posts, liking it/showing that he acknowledges whatever the fuck you just posted. Or makes comments abt things you do or did, Knowing that getting attention from someone like him would be something out of a fanfiction. (Rlly confident abt it too)

-Noel noa bllk -Sae itoshi bllk -Michael kaiser bllk -Reo mikage -Leonardo Luna -Seishiro nagi bllk -Oliver aiku bllk -Chris prince bllk -DG/James lee lookism, -jaegyeon na lookism, -Goo Kim lookism -Hades RoR -Poseidon RoR -Buddha RoR -Qin shi Huang -Apollo RoR -Thor RoR

Type to glare or take your attention from anything that will distract you from him. Randomly talking about all his amazing achievements or skills, saying it wasn't that difficult or wasn't a big deal- when YOU're around.

-Michael kaiser bllk, -Sae itoshi bllk, -Chris prince bllk, -Noel noa bllk, -kunigami rensuke/wild card bllk, -Apollo RoR -Hades RoR, -Poseidon RoR, -Shiva RoR, -Loki RoR, -Qin shi Huang/ying Zheng RoR, -DG/James lee lookism, -Gun park lookism, -Goo Kim lookism, -Vin Jin lookism, -Zack lee lookism, -Jaegyeon na lookism, -bachira meguru bllk

Rizzes you up

-Michael kaiser bllk, -Shidou ryusei bllk, -tabito karasu bllk, -eita otoya bllk, -Oliver aiku bllk, -Leonardo Luna bllk, -Apollo RoR, -Buddha RoR, -Qin shi Huang/ying Zheng RoR, -Loki RoR, -DG/James lee lookism, -jaegyeon na lookism, -Vin Jin lookism, -Goo Kim lookism

Threatens anyone with/without you knowing, maybe a silent glare, actions, death threats, or maybe even all-out-violence, making it known to them that you were already taken.

-Sae itoshi bllk, -Michael kaiser bllk, -itoshi Rin bllk, -shidou ryusei bllk, -Alexis ness bllk, -Kunigami rensuke bllk, -Poseidon RoR, -Hades RoR, -Loki RoR, -Leonidas RoR, -Lu bu RoR, -Soji Okita RoR, -Raiden RoR, -Goo Kim lookism, -Vin Jin lookism, -James lee lookism, -Gun park lookism.

Actually normal

-nanase bllk, -yukimiya kenyu bllk, -Thor RoR, -Isagi yoichi bllk, -Hyoma chigiri bllk, -Noel noa bllk, -shoei barou bllk, Julian Loki bllk, Adam Blake bllk, Daniel park lookism, -jin kiyora,

Cries rlly hard and/or begs for forgiveness

-Aoshi tokimitsu bllk, -ikki niko bllk, -Alexis ness bllk, -beelzebub RoR, -Anubis RoR, -jay hong lookism, -Goo Kim lookism(pathetically tbh), -Daniel park lookism -bachira meguru bllk

Forcing/Kidnapping/toxic type shi route (has potential of being a lovesick jerk (too much ooc here)')

-Michael kaiser bllk, -Sae itoshi bllk, -Alexis ness bllk, -Leonardo Luna bllk, -Hades RoR, -Poseidon RoR, -Apollo RoR, -Buddha RoR(he'd be all buddy buddy and then suddenly Carry you somewhere), -Qin shi Huang RoR, -Beelzebub RoR, -DG/James lee lookism, -Gun park lookism, -Goo Kim lookism, -Charles choi(in his youth) lookism

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

I'm finally done 😌

[oathbips]

I'm Sleeping On The Couch Pt. 2 - Gun, DG

summary: how they'll react to you saying you'll sleep on the couch after an argument

part 1, part 2

content: angst to fluff, reader x gun/dg

author's note: this took longer than i expected so there's only 2 instead of 3. it was a lot harder writing these two especially james so i apologize if he feels too ooc

You can feel your nerve rising the more this argument was dragging out but you were trying your best to not let it show. The last thing you wanted was for him to see how much he was getting to you because in contrast to you, Gun was more nonchalant than ever right now. He’s sitting there, taking hits of his cigarette while wearing this unbothered expression as he stares at you with a look that’s silently asking if you were done with whatever this was that you wanted to make a big deal out of. Which just ends up angering you even more. 

“Gun. This is ridiculous.” 

“It sure is.” 

“No, I mean how you’re not listening to me.” 

“I heard you.” 

“You’re hearing me but you’re not listening!” You finally had enough. All the effort of not trying to let him get to you failed, and he actually got to you. It has always been like this. Every argument you both had always ended up with only you being riled up while Gun on the other hand stays unfazed. It makes you feel like you’re the crazy one, always yelling and screaming at him. He never yells back or even gets angry at you for snapping at him but you honestly wished sometimes he did because that way, it’ll show that he at least cares just a little bit. The constant nonchalance and monotone replies he returns hurts you. It feels like he never takes you seriously, that he never cares. 

In response to your outburst, Gun took the last remaining hit of his cigarette before huffing out the smoke — putting it out once he was done. He then discarded it in the ashtray before finally standing up, making his way towards you but you swiftly turned away. You wanted to quickly make an escape to the bathroom as you felt tears threatening to spill out of frustration. A sigh leaving your lips as you try to collect yourself and hold back the tears.

“Whatever. Let’s just go to sleep.” You stated before shutting the bathroom door behind you. 

It was now Gun who was in the bathroom doing his night routine while you’re in the shared bedroom, finishing the last remaining steps of yours. The fight flashed through your mind as you got on your side of the bed. You sneakily avoided him when you got out of the bathroom earlier, so he couldn’t see your red puffy eyes and stained tears from crying but no doubt he will notice them once he joins you in bed. You didn’t want him to see you like this but more than anything, you didn’t feel like sleeping next to him after everything that just happened. It seems so childish and you know it is but you simply can’t help getting up from where you laid, collecting your pillow, grabbing a small blanket from the closet, and making your way down to the couch in the living room. 

You laid there, twisting and turning trying to get comfortable while the distant sound of the sink running could be heard in the background. It took a good minute or two before you finally settled, getting comfortable. All the stress and tension earlier soon follows, crashing down on you and your body gives in to exhaustion. Half lidded eyes finally close as you drift into a slumber sleep. 

A sudden jolt shook you awake from your slumber. You tried stirring around, heavy eyelids fighting to open and see what’s going on. To your surprise, you soon realize your attempted stirrings are futile once it finally kicks in that your body is currently being lifted up in the air right now, held tightly by a pair of strong arms. All drowsiness finally subsides as your widened eyes finally lay on the person causing all of this. 

“G-Gun?!” You yelped, surprised.

“You’re awake? Go back to sleep.”

“What are you doing?” 

“What are you doing sleeping on the couch?” His question made you remember the fight you guys just had earlier, why you were sleeping on the couch in the first place. 

“Oh…”

“The bed is this way.” He said before you could even find an appropriate reply to his question.

“I know that.”

“Didn’t look like you did.” A pout formed on your face from that and you decided to just stay quiet the whole way to the bedroom. When you both finally arrived at the bed, he gently placed you down on your side before going back out to fetch your pillow. Coming back, he walked towards you and placed it under your head while you stared at him longingly. You really wanted to try once more to talk it out for once instead of getting brushed off like always. 

“…Can we please talk about it tomorrow? Seriously this time.” 

He paused at the question and the room fell silent for half a minute before he finally let out a sigh. “Fine. But go to sleep first.” He stated, then plants a kiss on your forehead. 

“Okay. Goodnight, Gun.” 

“Goodnight.” He said when he finally made it to his side, laying down and pulling you towards him as he placed another kiss on your lips this time.

“I thought you said you wanted to start anew and leave your past behind you?” 

“I do.” 

“It doesn’t seem that way to me, James.” 

It’s been 30 minutes since you and your boyfriend have been going on about this. You were one of the few that knew the truth behind his identity and his life in the past. You knew that he has abandoned that old life and has been starting anew or so he said he was. Because looking at him right now, it looks like he is still very much involved in indulging his past life, and you hated it. It was dangerous and you’re not particularly proud of the choices he was making back then. When he told you before you both started dating that he wanted to forget his past, you were in full support of it. You would not have agreed to even be by his side like you are right now if that wasn’t the case. So, you’re having a hard time trying to understand why these days, you’ve been catching him in the act of meeting up with Eugune and even involving Daniel in whatever it is he’s trying to do involving his old past. You tried confronting him about this before but your attempted confrontation always ended in vain with him dodging and changing the subject. 

“It doesn’t involve you, so don’t worry about it. Just trying to clean up some mistakes in the past.”

“What mistakes are you talking about? You said you were done.”

“If I was actually done, I wouldn’t have to be doing all this would I, Y/n?” 

“Then what are the mistakes that you’re not done with, James? Why won’t you tell me?”

“I told you it doesn’t involve you so don’t worry about it.” 

You really didn’t have the energy anymore to keep continuing this argument after that statement. That’s what he always says and if you have to hear that sentence one more time, you really feel like you’ll lose it. Truth be told, it hurts you every time he would say that. You’re more than aware of how shady his past was, but if it was all behind him now, why can’t he trust you enough to tell you? 

“Okay, whatever. That’s fine. I’m going to bed now.” You stated, ending the argument there. It was no use trying to push an answer out of him when he has been avoiding it for months now. Today wasn’t going to be any different. 

From where James stood, he could see your defeated expression as you started to walk away from him. He felt a pang of guilt rising in him. Of course, he trusted you, more than anything if he were to be completely honest. It’s just he doesn’t want to involve you in his reckless past, especially this one. James told you he was a changed man and he meant it so he didn’t see the need to bring his old sins into your life. He’s about to follow you to apologize until he sees you walking out of the bedroom with your pillow and a blanket around your arms. He couldn’t help but widened his eyes in shock and confusion as to what you were planning to do. 

“What are you doing?”

“I think I’ll sleep out on the couch tonight.” You replied, deadpan. New waves of shock overtake James’ expression as he stares at you in disbelief. “...Seriously?” Was all he could ask in return. This issue was bothering you that much for you to do something so petty as sleeping on the couch instead of with him? He thought it was childish, he really did, but he felt more sad than anything that he had upset you this much. For the first time in his life, he finds himself scattering his brain to find anything he could say to reverse this. 

“Wait.” He managed. You looked at him in expectedly, waiting for him to continue on with what he has to say. You’ll be lying if you said you weren’t hoping for him to finally tell you what you’ve been wanting to hear, for him to finally open up to you. But a part of you knew better than to get your hopes up. Still, you patiently wait for him to elaborate himself as the silence continues to drag out. 

“... I’m sorry.” You stayed silent to that, expecting more than just a “I’m sorry”, but before you could speak up, he beat you to it, cutting you off.

“Just trust me. Please. Once this is all over, I’ll tell you everything you want to know but for now, just trust me. That’s all I’m asking.” 

You stood in silence, taking in what he just said. His statement held such a desperate plea and he looked more vulnerable than you’ve ever seen him right now. You’re sad he’s not telling you more, but you can tell that this meant greatly to him and whatever he’s doing must have a bigger purpose than you can understand. You finally exhaled a sigh, accepting the situation you’re in.

“Okay. I trust you but please, be careful.”

“I will, you don’t have to worry.” 

A smile finally appears on his face before he pulls you close to him, placing a chaste kiss on your forehead. “Still going to sleep on the couch now?” He said teasingly, resulting in you rolling your eyes. “And if I said I am?” 

“I can’t let that happen.” He countered and reached out to place his hands on your soft cheeks. He gently strokes them and then leans in to finally plant a deep kiss on your lips, leaving you breathless.

[sscarletvenus]

one thing about ptj's writing that always leaves a bad taste in my mouth is sometimes i feel he doesn't completely grasp the issues of abuse and sexual trauma, mostly and majorly for the female characters, but the male characters too.

take for example mira getting sexually assaulted by the cult leader and camp instructor, zoe's transaction with logan, club vivi, vin'mom being raped and killed by the shaman, sujin being abused and preyed upon and sexually assaulted before getting beaten to death by taejin... ALL of this feels so catatonic, almost unnecessary in its cruelty. this is a horrible world no doubt. but whatever he inflicts to his female characters seems to be done purely for the sake of shock value, almost like an indelible grief or hurt or helplessness a MALE character has to overcome in his path to nirvana. it is never shown what the woman feels about her own violation, no impact of it can be seen on her own life before she dies or simply forgets and moves on (kinda telling of the author's attitude towards how victims ought to react...).

then lets talk about the male victims. daniel gets stalked, goo and gun and eli were all minors who trained under a man who unironically touches people's genitals and brags about doing so, olly gets raped, eli gets groomed (i will not argue here about this one), sinu is shown naked often with the woman who brainwashed him. not mentioned in the comic but should be pondered upon is the fact that jake and jiho were in juvenile prison, a place with alarmingly high rates of sex crimes. dg is an idol who deals with invasive fans (sasaengs in real life are legitimately terrifying). seongji and vin were the ritual vessels for a cult. but this aspect of their trauma gets completely brushed under the rug, as if even alluding to it would take away from their strength and uhhh, masculine nature.

much to be thought about his treatment of his own characters...

[anticapitalistclown]

Hi my fav writer can you made lookism men meet the far S/O parents the first time?

hi! sure! <3

Lookism men meeting their s/o parents for the first time

He makes a really great impression even from the start, once they see him standing on the doorway they look at him with good eyes, the meeting goes really well, he's so respectful, your parents take a soft spot for him.

Daniel, Jay, Jichang, James

At first, your parents were doubtful to let their guards down, yet once he got the chance to show his charms, your parents completely warmed to him, during the stay he would set up the table, wash the dishes (he would gossip with your mom)

Jake, Jaegyeon, Jibeom, Goo, Sinu, Zack, Jace

Your parents were not exactly pleased to see that type of man coming along with their child, he was so serious it kinda looked like he was rude, yet, as the meeting progressed, your parents understood he was reserved rather than rude. Some little gestures coming from him like serving a drink to your father, holding the chair for you to sit, stopping your mother to bend from catching something from the floor and doing it he instead... Those gestures made them accept him - your father especially, the two of them would enjoy each other companies with respect, and silence.

Taesoo, Warren, Jihan, Jerry, Hudson, Gun, Johan, Samuel

At first, they were taken aback, yet it didn't last long for him to show his most pure side, it made your parents melt. They enjoyed his company, especially your father, he was happy about the fact that you brought a gentle soul yet capable to protect you from any danger.

Vasco, Jibeom, Daniel, Zack, Lineman, Eli

He showed so much respect from the start that your parents didn't even have the chance to judge him, yet, on that same night you will receive a text from them telling you to be careful about that guy you're dating.

Eugene, Goo, Samuel, James

You could see from your parents expressions that they didn't like him at all. But don't worry, after a few more meetings they will show more empathy towards him and even accept him. (bonus if you have siblings, they adore him sm that helped you convince your parents).

Vin Jin, Koji, Sinu, Ryuhei, Jake, Eli

They ground you for even thinking about dating that guy

Gitae, Gun, Geongseob, Ryuhei, Olly

[person25]

Me: I need them in my BONES😍

Also me, an asexual: would never participate in sexual intimacy

[amphitriteswife]

‘What would you do if i like someone else?’

The question made James hum in response. His finger tapping the lollipop in his mouth against his teeth, one hand in the pocket of his pants. His lips wrapping around the lollipop before he pulled it out of his mouth and pointed it to you. ‘It’s simply impossible.’ James stated, his tone wasn’t even arrogant or egoistical but rather as if he spoke the truth. He snickered a little at your confused expression, humming to himself before he gave another explanation. ‘I have the perfect body, i have every trophy this school can offer. I know every little thing about you, i know you wouldn’t even dream of being with someone else.’ Now that. That was arrogance, perhaps the cockiness of being ‘perfect’ had gotten to his head a little. You placed your hands around his neck from behind and jumping on his back, him catching you and carrying you with the lollipop still in one of his cheeks. ‘You didn’t answer my question though!’ You told him, your head leaning on top of his, the frizzy red dyed hair feeling rather dry today. James chuckled at your sentence. ‘I would kill them.’

The sound of a cigarette hitting the floor was the only thing you heard after you asked the question. His hands still frozen with the lighter still on. His mouth slightly agape from where the cigarette fell. He remained still for just a moment before he closed his mouth, his foot stepping onto the cigarette, crushing it in the process. He knows you, you ask a lot of stupid and unnecessary questions. And most of the time it doesn’t bother him. Most. This one being an exception. His eyes closed a a rather eerie smile appeared on his face. A smile that was so obviously fake. He put the lighter into his pocket before his strong heavy tattooed hands dug into your shoulder. He bent just to your height, the shadows in his face making him a lot more creepier, the veins in his neck and jaw were throbbing. The fact that the smile and other body languages didn’t match made you rethink about even asking him this question at all. Is he perhaps jealous? Or is he angry? He did have an inferiority complex after all…. ‘you’re not cheating on me, are you?’ Samuel asked you in quite a low but dangerous voice, his eyes opened now but looking at you intensely. ‘Ofcourse not.’ ‘Great…i would not hesitate to slap you or murder the other person.’ ‘Well that’s not nice.’

Instead of an answer you earned quite the laughter from Gitae who was smoking his pipe and blowing some smoke in different shapes. His laughter was rather much more humorous and light hearted. He didn’t seem to take you seriously, even though your question was half a joke so it depends. the laughter died down after a while before he took another drag from his pipe and turning to you, blowing the smoke in your face. He knew you disliked it when he smoked, that’s why he blew the smoke in your face. He’s just teasing you after all. ‘You sure ask a lot of questions hmm?’ His voice was a little raspy of all the smoke he had been smoking the past half an hour. His eyes were still sharp and darting between you and his pipe. ‘Hey answer me!’ He laughed at you again. Before taking another drag from his pipe and chuckling lightly, a little of the smoke escaping because of it. ‘I’m pretty sure you know what i would do and what I’m capable off.’ Gitae said looking outside the car window, he didn’t even seem to mind the fact that the smoke that left his mouth when he spoke to you had made the glass fogged. ‘Don’t you?’ He turned back to you, a slight smirk plastered on his face yet his eyes seemed as sharp and sadistic as ever.

Conclusions: they would all kill the other person and yes sammy would be in a very toxic and abusive relationship

[trueebeauty]

IGNORING THEM - lookism men

how lookism men react to you giving them the silent treatment...

Confused and Concerned; He is gentle and nurturing to you. He might not even realize you're ignoring him because he wouldn't intentionally cause you to be upset. He genuinely cares about your feelings and wants to make sure you're okay. He might be worried he did something wrong and wants to fix it.

"Hey, is everything alright? You've been awfully quiet all night." Places a hand on your shoulder gently.

"Did I do something wrong? You seem upset." Looks worried with furrowed brows.

Cooks your favorite meal and sets the table. "How about we eat and talk about what's bothering you?"

 ➥𝐆𝐔𝐍 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐊, 𝐕𝐈𝐍 𝐉𝐈𝐍, 𝐄𝐔𝐍𝐓𝐀𝐄 𝐋𝐄𝐄, 𝐉𝐀𝐘 𝐇𝐎𝐍𝐆, 𝐇𝐔𝐃𝐒𝐎𝐍 𝐀𝐇𝐍.

Slightly Upset and Needy; He might be a little insecure and craves your attention. He might feel rejected or unimportant when you ignore him. Using playful tactics is his way of trying to win back your attention and affection in a lighthearted way.

Sighs dramatically. "Come on, (Y/N). The silent treatment? Really?"

Pouts and gives you the puppy-dog eyes. "Is this about [something minor you might be disagreeing on]?"

Whines playfully and nudges you. "Alright, alright, I'll stop. But you gotta tell me what's wrong, babe."

 

➥𝐆𝐎𝐎 𝐊𝐈𝐌, 𝐗𝐈𝐀𝐎𝐋𝐎𝐍𝐆, 𝐑𝐘𝐔𝐇𝐄𝐈 𝐊𝐔𝐑𝐎𝐃𝐀, 𝐙𝐀𝐂𝐊 𝐋𝐄𝐄, 𝐃𝐀𝐍𝐈𝐄𝐋 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐊, 𝐉𝐎𝐇𝐀𝐍 𝐒𝐄𝐎𝐍𝐆.

Giving You Space (But Still Worried); He is respectful and understands that sometimes you just need some time alone. He trusts you and your ability to communicate when you're ready. He offers support without being overbearing, hoping you'll feel comfortable opening up to him.

Kisses your forehead softly. "I'm here if you want to talk. Otherwise, I'm going to watch some TV in the living room."

Sits beside you silently, offering a supportive presence without pushing.

Makes you a cup of tea and leaves it on the table next to you. "This might help." Gives you a small smile.

 ➥𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐋𝐄𝐒 𝐂𝐇𝐎𝐈, 𝐆𝐀𝐏𝐑𝐘𝐎𝐍𝐆 𝐊𝐈𝐌, 𝐉𝐀𝐊𝐄 𝐊𝐈𝐌, 𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐔 𝐇𝐀𝐍, 𝐉𝐄𝐑𝐑𝐘 𝐊𝐖𝐎𝐍, 𝐄𝐋𝐈 𝐉𝐀𝐍𝐆, 𝐉𝐈𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐆 𝐊𝐖𝐀𝐊, 𝐒𝐄𝐎𝐍𝐆𝐉𝐈 𝐘𝐔𝐊, 𝐓𝐀𝐄𝐒𝐎𝐎 𝐌𝐀. 

Annoyed and Frustrated; He might have difficulty with indirect communication. He might find the silent treatment immature or manipulative. He could feel disrespected or dismissed by your lack of communication.

Crosses his arms and leans against the doorway. "Look, If you're mad at me, just say it. Ignoring me isn't helping anything."

Raises his voice slightly. "Seriously? This is childish. Talk to me like an adult." 

Storms out of the room, muttering to himself. "Fine. Be that way."

Feels the energy and leaves, not wanting to deal with you right now.

➥𝐉𝐀𝐌𝐄𝐒 𝐋𝐄𝐄, 𝐄𝐔𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐄, 𝐒𝐀𝐌𝐔𝐄𝐋 𝐒𝐄𝐎, 𝐓𝐀𝐄𝐉𝐈𝐍 𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐎𝐍, 𝐎𝐋𝐋𝐘 𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐆, 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐑𝐄𝐍 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐄, 𝐆𝐎𝐍𝐆𝐒𝐄𝐎𝐁 𝐉𝐈, 𝐉𝐀𝐄𝐆𝐘𝐄𝐎𝐍 𝐍𝐀, 𝐆𝐈𝐓𝐀𝐄 𝐊𝐈𝐌.

[redninjaaaaa]

ptj 'stop putting my guys up against the freaks that might send them to the afterlife' challenge

[wannaeatramyeon]

Lookism: "If you die tomorrow, would you have any regrets?"

G/N. Jake, Goo, Gun, DG, Ryuhei, Sammy. Reminder that Gun is canonically a gamer lmao.

Jake looks up at you in surprise, the morbid question catching him off guard.

"Why?" he asks, tilting his head.

"It was just a question I read."

"Hmm," Jake rubs at his chin and gazes off somewhere in the distance, no doubt thinking about all that has happened in his life. "Yeah. Loads."

Oh. You weren't expecting that-

"A lot of things I've made my peace with," Jake shrugs and you know he means Sinu and Samuel and Big Deal.

The mess with Workers, the falling out with Samuel and end of the Golden Era, the arrest of so many of his crew. He knows his mom is disappointed that he is so much like his father, his time in juvie, and Jake thinks if he tried better in school instead of fighting then maybe things would have worked out a lot differently.

"But-" he tugs on your hand, pulling you off-balance and falling straight into his lap.

"I'd regret not spending more time with you. All the time trying to be a good boss rather than a good boyfriend."

You open your mouth to argue that he is a good boyfriend but he continues on-

"I'd regret leaving you on your own. Even though I know you'd find someone easily," And Jake manages a small wistful smile, "I'd regret not being there for you."

.

.

"Me?" Goo blinks, looking up from his manga.

"Yes, you. The only other person here."

"Just checking, Cupcake." Goo thinks briefly for a moment before making up his mind.

"I'll regret not seeing how this manga ends," then he narrows his eyes, stabbing angrily at the page, "And not going to Japan to hunt down this asshole for killing my fave off-screen."

"Goo!" Maybe this is on you for expecting a serious answer.

He gets up and makes his way to you, peppers kisses all over your face as you roll your eyes. "You're not planning on killing me are you, Sweetheart?"

"Yes. Tonight. There's a knife under my pillow."

"Make sure you don't wake me, do it quick," he grins mischievously then-

An unpleasant thought pops up and he pulls a face. "Once I'm dead, you better not fall in love with anyone else. My ghost will haunt you, y'know."

"Fine, I'll just be sad and alone and mourning over you forever."

"Perfect!"

But what would Goo actually regret?

What's the saying? You can't take it with you.

Goo has such fun plans once he retires from all this crew shit. Neither of you have to work another day again, you can just spend the rest of your lives terrorising the general public instead. Travelling the world, swimming in a pool of money together, sleeping on a bed of cash. All that fun stuff.

Goo doesn't regret the time amassing his fortune, his little safety net for the future. But if he was to die tomorrow, he would regret not having that future with you.

.

.

Gun pauses the video game at your question, then turns to you with a brow arched, "Why do you think I'm going to die?"

"It's hypothetical. Like in a fight or something."

An arrogant smile spreads, "And who's strong enough to kill me?"

You click your tongue in annoyance at his response although you hate to admit that damn, you find his attitude sexy as hell. There's just something about him being able to back up his confidence with his skills and talent.

"Just answer my question!"

"No I would not have any regrets," he says, already turning back and resuming his game.

Of course Gun doesn't. As if someone like him would have any regrets.

Eyes still on the screen and fingers clicking on the controller, Gun adds quietly. "But you will be taken care of."

Oh.

If Gun were to die tomorrow, he would regret not being able to take care of you. Being by your side. In his line of work, it is always a possibility no matter how strong he is. The least he could do, and has done, is make sure that at least no harm or hardships befalls you after he is gone.

Money, protection, freedom. If he can't have a future, then he will assure yours.

.

.

DG falters mid-stride, giving it the briefest of thoughts before coming to a conclusion.

"Nope," he says with a cocky smirk.

He has very little to regret. His life as DG is what most people dream of. Fame and fortune, power and influence.

As James Lee he has proven he's the strongest, he's the peak and untouchable.

There's very little left for him to accomplish. Why would he have any regrets?

But, he supposes, as he is later handled by the assistants and the stylists, then plasters on a fake smile for TV appearances before being ushered to some event full of schmoozers and fakers and having to make small talk as DG, the idol and CEO-

Is that maybe if he could do it again, he would choose something with more privacy. More freedom. That he could do what he wants, whenever he wants.

And most importantly-

That he can walk hand in hand with you down the street without rabid fans screaming and the paparazzi photos making headlines.

Without you being on the receiving end of death threats and unhinged letters, and his agent and company telling him that he needs to apologize for his relationship. Backtrack it. Single idols sells better, appeals to the public more.

If DG died tomorrow, he thinks that actually he would regret this. He regrets keeping you in the shadows.

.

.

Ryuhei doesn't hesitate and tells you he wishes you were his first. For everything.

Even hand holding. Even hugs.

You pull a face at that.

"That's... Sweet." You say, lying through your teeth as Ryuhei looks at you with concerned puppy eyes.

"You wish the same, right?"

"Sure," you agree because where's the harm in appeasing this goofball.

In truth, and Ryuhei hates thinking about it, is that he does desperately wish that he met you first. Before Mitsuki, before anyone else.

Nevermind that it's a completely futile, fanciful dream because everything that has happened has led him to you.

But he thinks it would have worked out better. He could have been a better person, a better boyfriend. If he met you before he had a chance to develop his sex pest tendencies and obsessive behaviour that you had to stamp out.

It's pointless though. Not even worth dwelling on. What has happened has happened and he could only try to be better now.

Ryuhei considers the question again with a sigh. If he dies tomorrow, what would he regret?

Oh yeah! He would absolutely regret this!

"I'd regret that we can't bang anymore!"

"Ryuhei!"

.

.

Samuel immediately feels defensive at your question.

He thinks about what he hasn't yet achieved. All his dreams of becoming King, being at the top, and yet he's no closer.

"Why?" he asks, eyes starting to narrow behind his glasses.

You hold up both palms, in a gesture to indicate you didn't mean anything by it and your face tells him to just chill.

"I dunno. I found it and thought it was an interesting question."

"It's not." Samuel says, effectively ending the conversation and eyes dipping back down to his phone.

But it doesn't just end.

Samuel spirals and doesn't talk to you for the rest of the day, his shortcomings haunting him instead.

He drinks and he smokes and he spends even more time at work, trying to dull the ache of his inferiority.

The mornings and nights pass by in a blur, a string of toxic behaviours and self sabotage, until eventually - he comes to.

His failures and faults pushed to the back of his mind, rather than a constant reminder.

Then like a fog clearing, he finds clarity again. He sees your face, the worry, the trepidation... The guilt for asking an innocent question.

And Samuel knows that his biggest regret of all if he dies tomorrow is that you deserved better and he hasn't been able to give that to you.

[sasucaty]

someone on reddit pointed out how gitae looks like gap and samuel's mom's kid and y'all I can't unsee it anymore

i hope he doesn't turn out to be both jake AND samuel's half-brother but it would be fucking plot twist if he is lol

[nepentheseeker]

"Together we are Lookism" Ahh picture

Source: PTJ instagram - ptj.comics