#jade in europe
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Comedy in the City of Dreams
On July 19, I'll be representing Team USA at the 4th Annual Boom Chicago Comedy Festival in Amsterdam. Looking forward to performing alongside comedians from all over the world!
#jade esteban estrada#the prada enchilada#comedian#stand up comedy#stand up comedian#getjaded#comedy#funny#gay comedian#first gay latin star#amsterdam#boom chicago#boom chicago comedy festival#europe#jade in europe#the netherlands#holland#queer comedy#queer comedian#comedians#netflix#comedy in english#things to do in amsterdam#things to do in the netherlands#travel style#prada enchilada
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Review: Jade Torch: The Killing Thought, by Anne Marie Wells, otherwise known as @dragonanne!
First of all, let me just praise Miss Wells' artstyle. It's beautiful, and captures the reader's attention, instantly giving them a greater scope of the characters and their world.
As for the story, Jade Torch presents itself as a medieval fantasy world, and as a huge dragon nerd and admirer of the High Middle Ages, I can tell you that The Killing Thought does not disappoint in it's setting! You have dragons and their riders protecting their large kingdom, a neighboring monarchy with a tainted history, a bloodthirsty nation in the north, and unknown islands far away from the continent, all of which take place while the author plants the seeds for a deeper, magic-filled history that feels organic and richer than the Lonely Mountain of Erebor (Tolkien fans, I apologize for any misspells/offense.)
The plot is superbly written, with the unsavory medieval politics and conniving aristocrats presented within the world in such a way that it instantly feels like cracking open a door to look into the distant past of Western Europe. The characters have various personalities that don't overlap with each other, with the possible exception of two (and given that both these characters took on paternal roles to young future rulers, it's a given that they'd have similar approaches to life. Not to worry, they still retain their unique individuality!) They are also all written competently: the men are allowed to be manly defenders/protectors/rulers, and the women are allowed to kick butt without dragging down their male counterparts, something that greatly pleased me.
The heroes are heroes and the villains are villains, an old style of writing I have dearly missed in modern media. Furthermore, there is only one - ONE - character death on the heroes' side, and while it did break my heart, I instantly realized it was a necessary decision and felt that it was not out of place. And while said character's murderer was not killed, another, equally despicable villain was permanently dispatched, something that literally had me cheering in my seat as I read, so enraptured was I by the story unfolding in my hands. I tell you, that is an uncommon occurrence in my reading experience!
And the ending presents a perfect opening for a second installment, with it's ominous atmosphere and the fragile peace left in the plot's wake gripping the reader's attention with a degree of fear for the heroes. I must say, I simply itch to see what happens next, and the path that awaits the protagonists!
I would be remiss, however, if I did not voice one, albeit small, complaint. The naming conventions in the story, while enjoyable, were a bit odd when it came to a select few others. For example, you have the crown princess, whose name is Lunerata Bridth, and yet her father's given name is Kent. There is only one other "ordinary" name such as Kent in the novel, and while it did not take away my love of the story, it did strike me as odd quite a few times. Regardless, I still reveled in reading the book, and happily give it eleven out of ten stars.
Now enough of my rambling! I gave a simple, relatively spoiler free review of this novel. Now, I task all who read through this post: go out and buy a copy of Jade Torch: The Killing Thought. It's a fun read, and will captivate your mind and imagination for a long time!
Fly high, my fellow readers and dragon riders!
#jade torch: the killing thought#jade torch#anne marie wells#dragonanne#dragons#medieval#high middle ages#dragon riders#lord of the rings#the hobbit#names#the killing thought#western europe#horses#phoenix#phoenixes#animals#griffins#fantasy#medieval fantasy#knight#fantasy art
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If someone tells you they're going on a trip to eastern europe and your first instinct is to answer "why?", I hate you :)
#jade talks#sorry you see no worth in visiting european countries that aren't in western europe or greece#your racism is showing :)))))#I've been telling ppl im going to poland and its always why#what do you mean why#why didnt u ask why when i said i was going to greece or spain or italy or england or the netherlands
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Ok, ok. But like, do you know that song from “The three caballeros” where Zé Carioca sings “Você já foi a bahia?”, like imagining Ruggie telling people about Bahia with THAT song—
I feel like I just had the whole experience because I had to google the song (Since I haven't watched the movie and I'm EXTREMELY ASHAMED OF THE FACT I HAVEN'T NOW THAT I KNOW THAT BRAZIL IS MENTIONED) so I can definitely see Ruggie pull a highschool musical and start singing right there and there. I mean, it's Disney, and somebody needs to tell them what Bahia is.
Could any brazilians tell me what city you guys think Ruggie is from? Regarding Azul, I think he's from Arica, and the tweels are from Tacna, because they had to meet somehow.
Also, do people from Brazil also get this weird experience when listening to spanish dialogue? Because when I listen to portuguese I feel like I can understand a bit of what it's saying (because it sounds like spanish because of cough cough Spain's influence cough cough) but it also sounds different, and I can't understand 70% of the sentence.
I may as well download Duolingo now that I get so many ads for it, and now that I interact more with brazilians.
#brazilian ruggie#chilean azul#peruvian floyd#peruvian jade#why is it always europe /hj#i can feel the emails from duolingo coming back
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Thinkin about how when I was like 9 our teacher went on a brief tangent vividly-but-not-graphically describing seeing a woman get hit by a bus on a particular street years earlier and how people tend to want to get that stuff off their chest but how its probably going to stick with others too.....
#it makes me think of those people in... some culture? maybe medieval/early modern europe somewhere?#who would hear peoples sins and then take them to the grave. those people must have heard some haunting shit.#or at least the concept was dreamed up by somebody to whom that was haunting even if ultimately the people doing it were more jaded
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Christ stop tryna make shit racist that isn't racist, and stop acting like the whole world is America. The service industry in Europe is different bc workers don't have to depend on tips so no one has to obsequiously kiss ass to survive. Literally every actual European who watches this show has pointed out multiple times that jades attitude is normal. Keeley is an influencer, Derek is a shithead who lets people who benefit his marketing have that shitty table, and Nate is an entitled brat who was badly trying to play power games with someone with less power than him and losing, and I'm not even going to get into the constant misogyny he displays because yall dont actually gaf. I am so sick of this ice cold take constantly being vomited by slacktivists who don't spend an ounce of energy on actual anti-racism. You can dislike characters without making up reasons for them to be problematic. Grow up.
doctum doces fratm.
#ted lasso#nate shelley#jade whatshername#nathan shelley#ask#i am literally european#its still racism in europe
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love two of my fandomless ocs (that come in a set, Do Not Separate Cristina and Asena) literally being the embodiment of ‘somebody will die’ (asena) ‘OF FUN!’ (cristina)
#asena is the jaded older one who incidentally brought about the ruination of her house by Fucking Around W Dark Magic and Finding Out#and is thousands of miles away from her native Empire.#meanwhile Cristina is convent raised and newly returned to her father's estates in time to unravel a family secret and is Hype for Adventure#and never really has to leave Europe to pursue the family business of Killing Monsters#Asena is so tired and Cristina never runs out of energy.#Of course they end up the best of besties.
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Press Release: The Emergence of a New Friend With Benefits – Paladin PMC eGirl4Rent PMC Proposed Joint Venture
Press Release: The Emergence of a New Friend With Benefits – Paladin PMC eGirl4Rent PMC Proposed Joint Venture Date: September 24, 2024Location: Los Angeles, CA / Moscow, Russia In a surprising turn of events, the private military landscape is witnessing the formation of an unprecedented alliance between Paladin, the notorious Russian PMC; Paladin PMC founded by the enigmatic Georgiy Zakrevsky,…
#Chaos and Destruction#clandestine operations#defensa cibernética#digital warfare#Eastern Europe#eGirl4Rent#eGirl4Rent PMC#Futuristic Warfare#geopolitical shift#Georgiy Zakrevsky#global conflict#Glorygole#JadeAnnByrne#joint venture#mercenary group#military alliance#military news#military operations#Paladin Jade#Paladin PMC#PaladinJade#PMC#PMC alliance#PMCs#Political Commentary#private military#private military contractor#private military contractors#psychological operations#Psychological Warfare
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"Isn't that how it always goes," she sarcastically remarked. That was usually the luck she had. Where there was one there was many. Like cockroaches. Admittedly, this was more than what she usually dealt with. The last time she took on monstrosities was in her later mortal years and the beginning of her immortality. Aita's creations grew more scarce as the years wore on and she hadn't run into any in over two thousand years. So this... this was almost feeling strangely nostalgic.
"Bird person, actually. Falconry to be specific. Mostly work with golden eagles." Ikaros had to stay behind at the hotel, she didn't want to risk him in this mission, not that the bird would die either. "I don't dislike dogs, I love other people's dogs. I've heard German shepherds are great pets."
Kassandra heard the thud and immediately turned her head in the direction of the sound. Leon motioned for her to stop and she didn't argue, this was his area of expertise, and she'd defer to his judgment here. As he approached the door, she took a few quiet steps closer, wanting to know what they could possibly be dealing with next. "Oh, great. I feel like when this is over, I'm going to take an hour-long shower, at least."
. "Where there's one, there's more," he replied, his tone lighter than the information he was supplying. At the very least, she was handling herself well. A good amount of people lost their nerve no matter their confidence levels when he met with them- though, there were plenty that rose to the challenge.
"Cat person, I take it?" He asked as he continued moving forward. "Thought about getting a german shepherd at one point." But, staying out at work so often meant that the poor thing would be on its own for the majority of the time.
A dull thudding echoed down the hall, and Leon frowned. His stomach sank, thinking instantly of a tyrant stalking through the halls. He motioned for Kassandra to stop, peering around a corner. Some relief, then, when he saw the source was a door. Something wanted out. He approached slowly, seeing through the shattered window that there were several lickers in the room. He grimaced at that. "Got more of those slimy fucks in there."
#λ::|| the keeper | kassandra#τ::|| leon s. kennedy#τ::|| assassin's creed misc timeline#τ::|| eastern europe | 2008 ce#dimensionalspades#honestly. these two just dealing with the worst of the worst and being absolutely jaded by it.#to the endless frustration of their enemies.#also the last time kass was a dog person the dog she was really fond of turned into cerberos and she had to kill it.#so kass' relationship with dogs is slightly strained. i hated that boss fight. Ros was a good dog and didn't deserve to become Cerberos.
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Ovulation
G!P Natasha Romanoff x Fem Reader
Warnings: 18+ content, masturbating, oral sex (R and Natasha receiving), finger sucking, dry humping, fingering, unprotected sex (P in V), overstimulation
Summary: You're ovulating while on a mission, causing you to be uncomfortably aroused. Luckily, the agent with you is more than eager to help you out...
WC: 4.1k
The motel was just like any other – grey, dusty and lit only by dim off-white. You would only be here for a night and when you pressed your hand against the cold metal of the radiator, you were glad. You debated whether or not you ask the receptionist about it but keeping your head low was key when travelling on an undercover mission. The more questions you asked and the more times your face was seen and captured by CCTV, the greater the risks. You decided against it.
You inspected the bedroom, following safety procedures which included searching for signs of any electronic devices but luckily, there were none. The bed was a small double with beige, striped sheets that were thinner than you would’ve liked. The back wall was taken up entirely by a sturdy, wooden cupboard that matched the tawny-brown, bedside tables covered in dust. You switched on the lamp and ran your hand over the mattress, noting that you would need to wear thick layers of clothing to bed. You assumed the other bedroom was the same but didn’t bother checking. The other agent could do that.
You sat on the edge of the bed, rubbing your forehead with the palm of your hand. One of the things you hated most about being a woman and a spy was the problems it caused when it conflicted with your cycle. Missions on your period were uncomfortable, draining and painful. Ovulation week was also a mess; you had no way of dealing with the surge of hormones it triggered while on a mission. You made a mental note to take a cold shower after the other agent arrived.
You read over the intel for the upcoming mission while you waited for them, straining your ears for the door. It was a complicated mission; you had to infiltrate the base of a growing terrorist organisation and hack into their systems to gather as much information about them as you could. S.H.I.E.L.D. knew scarily little about the organisation so you were going in almost blind – anything could happen.
The plan was for two agents, including you, to blend in as one of the terrorists to get into the base. You were unaware of the identity of the agent you were paired with. You were curious to know if they were someone you’d worked with before or a complete stranger. You assumed the latter – you were still young and hadn’t been assigned to many difficult missions yet. You tightened your arms around yourself, shivering as the light outside the window was sucked from the sky, the moon blocked out by an array of dark, restless clouds.
“You look cold.” You jumped and leapt on your feet, spinning around to see a woman standing behind you. Her face was painted with a smirk and she looked at you with her hands on her hips, her jade eyes travelling up and down your body. You swallowed. How did you not hear her come in? S.H.I.E.L.D. weren’t exaggerating when they said she was the very best they had at espionage. You didn’t realise you were staring at her until she brought you out of your thoughts, “Cat got your tongue?”
“Uh, sorry,” you said, clearing your throat, “Yeah, I am. East Europe is always freezing at this time of year.” You could feel sweat trickling down your neck. Not only were you ovulating on a mission but you were stuck with an extremely attractive woman during it. You were so fucked.
“Mm, it is,” she said, stepping towards you and offering out her hand. You noticed the electrified branches of azure and emerald running down her arms up to her fingers, pushing up against the skin, your heart thundering against your ribcage. You quickly pulled yourself out of your trance. You were a spy for goodness sake, not the nervous wreck or helpless whore your elevated levels of estrogen were making you feel like. You shook her hand.
“It’s nice to meet you,” you said, “I’m Agent Y/l/n.” You pulled your hand away from hers before she could pick up on your clammy palms but unbeknownst to you, she’d already felt them.
“I know,” she said, “I’m Agent Romanoff but to you, it’s Natasha.” You could feel your breath hitch in your throat. Natasha. You could already imagine how those three, pretty syllables would feel falling off your tongue.
You dismissed your dirty thoughts immediately, feeling ashamed of yourself. She was a stranger and your teammate; you seriously needed to pull yourself together. She nodded to the file in your hand, “I see you’re already prepared for the mission.”
“I was just double-checking all the details,” you said. The tight, black shirt and jeans she was wearing hugged her in all the right places, her sculpted arms in full view to you. She must take her training seriously, you thought, I wonder how often she goes to the gym.
“Good,” she said, dropping her bag on the floor, “I already know I’ll enjoy working with you.” You placed your hands behind your back so she couldn’t see your fidgeting fingers. Your gaze fell onto the bag and you frowned.
“Oh, were you planning on sleeping in here?” You said, “I’ll move to the other room then.” She held her arm in front of you as you stepped towards the door.
“There isn’t another room.” You felt your heart drop. You realised the other door must be to the bathroom. You couldn’t imagine how your situation could get any worse, “Are you unhappy with that arrangement?”
“No, not at all,” you lied, “I just didn’t expect it, that’s all.” You swallowed, hard. You started moving towards the door, “I’m going to take a shower,” you mumbled, not waiting for her answer. You fumbled with the handle, cursing under your breath and slammed the door shut behind you.
You didn’t waste any time taking off your clothes and turning on the shower, sighing as the cold droplets collided with your burning skin. The water only offered you a few moments of relief, however. The more you thought about the redhead and how close you’d be together that night, the more you fed the raging arousal between your legs. It became clear that there was only one way you were going to calm yourself down.
You covered your hand with your mouth as you touched yourself, your mind overwhelmed by images of Natasha. It didn’t take long for you to reach your climax and you were certain that the sound of the shower and your hand had muffled out all your moans. You cleaned yourself before stepping out, drying yourself with a towel and getting dressed, praying that your body would be satisfied for the night. When you returned to the bedroom, Natasha was on the bed facing you, resting a pillow on her lap.
“You’re even prettier in real life than you are in your pictures,” she said, the unexpected compliment drowning you in butterflies. You noticed that her cheeks were flushed a bright red and her breaths seemed more laboured than before.
“Really?” you said in disbelief. You had never seen yourself as unattractive but you didn’t think you were anything special either. You were nothing compared to the Goddess in front of you, that was for sure. She chuckled.
“You’re a humble one,” she mused, “How cute.” You couldn’t quite believe her words. Natasha thought you, of all people, were humble? You searched the room, looking for any kind of escape from the conversation and spotted a clock hung above the bed.
“It’s getting late,” you said, trying to hide your stutter, “I’ll sleep on the floor.” You knew it would be uncomfortable but anything was better than being next to Natasha. You’d slept in awkward places before so you’d just have to deal with it.
“No you won’t,” she said, shuffling to the other side of the bed and lifting the sheets, “There’s room for both of us, see?” The amount of room wasn’t the problem – it was the proxemics between you and the internal chaos your body was experiencing. How were you supposed to explain that to Natasha though? You noticed the moment your eyes fell on her that her autonomy wasn’t the same as yours so she wouldn’t understand your dilemma.
“Uh, okay,” you said, knowing you had no choice. You never sounded nervous or vulnerable, not even with your close family and friends. If embarrassment was a type of poison, you’d have collapsed in agony by now. You climbed into bed beside Natasha, turning your back to her. You were reminded of how small the bed was when you shifted slightly and felt her hand brush against the small of your back. You took a deep breath. You were in for a long night.
She switched off the bedside lamp and to your horror, you could hear her unbutton her jeans and discard them on the floor. It was almost as if she was doing it on purpose. You tensed your muscles, forcing yourself to stay as still as humanely possible so there was less chance of you accidentally making contact with each other again.
“That’s better,” she mumbled and you felt her leg against yours as she adjusted her position to make herself more comfortable. You didn’t know how long it took for you to fall asleep with her body so close to yours, her breath creating goosebumps along every part of your skin that it hit. Unfortunately, you found out the hard way that your head was the worst place to escape to you in your current state.
You woke up, gasping and blinded by the darkness around you. You pushed yourself up, feeling the slick on your thighs from the filthy dream you had just experienced. Natasha’s head had been buried between your thighs and you had been an absolute mess beneath her. You could honestly die from humiliation – how could your mind conjure up something so vile while you were sleeping next to her? As you were about to move off the bed and sprint into the bathroom, a light was switched on and you felt a hand tighten around your wrist.
“Where do you think you’re going?” Natasha said, a dark rasp accompanying her words, “You are not going into the bathroom to fuck yourself again.” Your eyes widened and you felt a tide of heat rush to your cheeks. She’d heard you.
“I’m so sorry,” you said, “I shouldn’t have, it was really inappropriate of me…” She silenced you by straddling your hips, trapping you beneath her on the bed. Before you could react, you were distracted by the feeling of something hard against your stomach. You looked down to see Natasha in only her boxers, the bulge pressing against your abdomen straining in its confines. Your jaw dropped. It had never even occurred to you that there was a chance she’d want you too.
“I was going to let you make the first move,” she said, “But you took too long.” From how the other agents described you, she had been so sure your boldness and confidence would’ve caused you to spring onto her immediately. She was annoyed that she’d had to listen to you pleasure yourself in the shower without her but at the same time, Natasha loved that her presence had changed your demeanour so much.
You gulped and looked up into her eyes, seeing that her iris had shrunk into a thin line around her blown pupils. You drunk in the sight of her on top of you, placing your hands on top of her bare, supple thighs, her skin like velvet beneath you.
“Fuck,” you breathed. She tilted up your chin, running her thumb over your bottom lip, wanting a better view of you.
“Tsk tsk. Such a dirty mouth.” You knew you shouldn’t be letting her walk all over you but you were enjoying it more than you wanted to admit. She lifted herself off your body so she could move her other hand to the waistband of your trousers. She hooked a finger underneath the material, “Can I?” You nodded and she dug her nails into your chin, “I want to hear you say it.” You weren’t used to this power dynamic – you were always the more dominant one.
“Yes,” you said, “You can. Please.” She grinned at your obedience and slipped her hand into your pants, feeling you drip onto her fingertips. She groaned.
“Oh God, you’re so wet already,” she said, “I could stuff you with my cock right now if I wanted to.” She removed her hand from your underwear and brought it to your mouth, pushing her fingers past your lips. You sucked her digits hungrily, tasting yourself on your tongue. The sight only drove Natasha even crazier but she also felt a pang of envy, wishing it was her cock in your mouth instead. You felt so good around her fingers.
After pulling her digits out of your mouth, she lowered herself onto your body and she didn’t hesitate to connect her lips with yours, sending a jolt of electricity through your veins. Her lips moulded against yours perfectly and you moved in sync with her, your kisses becoming more and more desperate. She could taste your sweetness as she kissed you and she forced herself to forget about breathing, not wanting to pull away for even a second. Her hands cupped your face and you reached up to tangle yours in her hair, her lips staining yours with garnet lust.
You pulled her even closer against your chest, your mind a buzz of her and her only. You let her tongue slide between your teeth when you felt it press against your bottom lip, making no effort to fight against it with your own. She swallowed your whines, her crotch grinding against your thigh. You had never hooked up with anyone before; you weren’t that kind of person. But you were willing to break all your rules for Natasha and give every part of you to her without hesitation.
Her mouth moved to your jawline, littering your face with kisses, her hands trailing down your arms. You shivered under her feather-light touch, gasping as her teeth sunk into your neck, intending to leave a bruise that everyone else would see. She tugged at the hem of your shirt.
“Take it off,” she said. She leaned back to give you space to pull it over your head and unhook your bra before she pounced on you like an animal. She traced her fingers over your collarbones before venturing further down to your chest, her fingers circling your nipples. You arched into her touch as she caressed your breasts, her movements sending a spark straight to your core. You reached down to cup her bulge, noticing the wet patch on her boxers but she slapped your hand away, “No touching,” she snapped.
“Please, Natasha,” you said, “I need you; it hurts.” She tutted.
“Patience,” she husked. She pulled away from you and started taking off her clothes, freeing her aching breasts before pushing down her boxers. Her erection sprang out from the material, the tip inflamed and ringed by an enraged red, pre-cum dribbling onto the sheets beneath her.
She led back onto the pillow, giving you a full view of her body and you took a moment to admire her. Everything about her was a masterpiece – her facial features, her muscles, her curves. Her crimson hair was a mess around her shoulders and the front pieces had fallen forward, framing her face, “I want to fuck that pretty mouth of yours.” You shook your head.
“No, Natasha,” you pleaded, “It’ll feel so much better in my pussy, I promise…” You fell silent as her eyes burnt into you. You reluctantly crawled over to her on all fours, hesitating before wrapping your mouth around the tip. You tried to irk her, moving as slow as possible but she grabbed a hold of your head and started pushing you down on her cock.
“Suck.” You gagged around her length as she started bucking her hips upwards so she was fucking your mouth but the sound only drove her more. It didn’t take long for you to start moving your head up and down her cock without any guidance, guttural moans escaping Natasha’s mouth from the warmth and skill of your tongue, “Fuck, that shut you up.”
Tears spilt down your cheeks as she hit the back of your throat over and over again, the vibrations of your whines sending even more waves of pleasure through her body. She lifted her legs onto your shoulders so you could grab onto her thighs, spurring you on even more, “I’m so close,” she breathed. Her thrusts were messy and out of rhythm by the time she came undone, spilling her cum into your mouth. You made sure to swallow it all.
She pulled her cock out of your mouth, a mixture of cum and drool coating her length, some of it dribbling down your chin, “You did so well. Such a good slut for me.” She took a moment to catch her breath, watching with eagerness as you pulled down your trousers and your panties that were positively ruined, throwing them on the floor. There were tears of white running down your legs and your clit was visibly swollen. She smirked wickedly, “You want me that bad, huh?”
“Please, I’ve been a good girl,” you whined. You tried to reach for her again but she caught hold of your wrist, stopping you in your tracks.
“Lie down.” You went to lay on your back but she grabbed your shoulders, her nails indenting crescent-moons into your skin before pushing you down onto your stomach. You gasped as her hand pressed against your cunt, her fingers running through your sensitive folds. Her movements were slow and deliberate, intending to increase your need but not give in to it.
“More,” you begged as her thumb massaged your clit. The smell of sex was heavy in the air and your senses were intoxicated by the vanilla and brown sugar fragrance of her perfume. She gave your clit a sharp pinch in response to your pleas, causing you to inhale a sharp intake of breath.
“You’re insatiable,” she said, “You’re begging to be fucked by a woman you just met. Like a whore.” You started rubbing your crotch against her hand, your motions erratic and frantic.
“More, please,” you cried, your thoughts becoming incoherent as the need between your legs started to burn, “Please, Natasha.” She pushed two fingers inside of you, stretching out your entrance but making sure to avoid your g-spot.
“Tell me what you want.”
“I want you inside of me,” you groaned as she added a third digit to your cunt. Natasha started to play with her breasts using her free hand; she was burning for you just as badly as you were for and the sound of your begging only worsened her desire. It took all the strength in her body to hold herself back and not ruin you right there and then. She was so glad you couldn’t see her.
“I am inside of you.” You whined.
“I want your cock. I need it inside of me, please.” She grabbed hold of your hips, smirking. As much as she enjoyed seeing you so needy for her, her patience was wearing thin.
“Then you’ll take it all.” She suddenly rammed inside you without any warning, not being able to resist you for any longer and you cried out in shock. Your initial discomfort was drowned by explosive bliss as Natasha filled you to the brim, hitting places you didn’t even know existed. She was met with no resistance as she rutted into you despite her size which stretched you out deliciously. Your pussy was so much better than she could’ve ever imagined.
She flattened herself against your back, needing to feel more of you. She grunted against your ear as her hips slammed into your ass with each powerful stroke. You were dizzy with pleasure as her speed increased, your moans intensifying as she started to pound into your sweet spot. She was older and more experienced than anyone you had been with before which was evident in how she was making you feel. Your body was coursing with more pleasure than you thought was humanely possible.
The knot in your stomach was tightening fast and the sounds of your wet cunt were echoing through the room, “Oh fuck, you’re so tight,” Natasha said, not caring about her dignity anymore, too lost in the sensation of your warmth clenching around her cock, “Tell me how you feel baby.”
“I feel so, so good,” you said, “Please, don’t stop.” You looked back at her and she tilted her head so your lips could connect for a moment before her mouth moved to your shoulder. She sucked on the soft skin there, slowing down so she could sink deeper into your cunt. She could feel your legs trembling beneath her own as you pushed back in rhythm with each of her thrusts.
“How close are you?” Natasha didn’t want to admit it but she was already teetering on the edge, struggling to hold back from how well you were taking her. You could feel her movements become sloppy as more and more of your juices gushed from your entrance.
“So close,” you said, your walls clenching even harder around her cock. It only took a few more thrusts before you could feel gasoline flood your bloodstream, ready to be set on fire, “Natasha, f-fuck…” You didn’t even have to say it.
“Let go for me,” she commanded. You let the knot in your stomach unravel, screaming her name as all the nerves in your body were electrified, sparks of searing light shooting across your vision. No drug could replicate the state of euphoria you were both lost in as your walls were drowned by white, your cunt milking her cock dry until there wasn’t a single drop left to give. You had never experienced an orgasm so strong, so prolonged, so incredible. You expected Natasha to stop after fucking you through your high but instead, she picked up her pace again. You whimpered.
“Natasha, that’s enough…” She pulled out of you and flipped you onto your back before slipping straight back inside of you. Your eyes widened.
“What’s wrong?” she mocked, “You begged for my cock, slut. Isn’t this what you wanted?” She smirked when you didn’t give her an answer, already drowning in ecstasy again despite the building ache between your legs. You were losing your grip on reality as the new angle gave her access to more places inside of you and you knew it wouldn’t be long until you were overstimulated.
She didn’t take her eyes off you, wanting to see your reaction to everything she gave you. You were growing more sensitive by the second and you could feel her cock throbbing against your walls each time you squeezed her, drops of perspiration gleaming on every inch of your skin. You reached up to cup Natasha’s breasts, the extra layer of stimulation pushing her towards yet another climax in record time.
She started to rub your clit, hoping to speed up your release but it was becoming evident she’d have to release without you. You wrapped your legs around her waist, pulling her even closer and for a moment, she forgot your pleasure, getting too lost in her own. She tore her eyes away from you and threw her head back, panting like a dog.
“Cum inside me,” you said and at the sound of your words, she didn’t hesitate, letting her orgasm crash into her body with full force. She moaned your name between gasps as she was hit by waves of bliss that slowly decreased in intensity as the milliseconds passed, pulsing through her entire body. She finally pulled out of you and collapsed on the bed. You both gasped for breath, your thighs and the sheets beneath you stained with lust. You were glad you hadn’t climaxed this time – you didn’t think you’d have survived it.
“That was fucking incredible,” Natasha admitted, turning her head to face you. You nodded in agreement, too fucked out to form a sentence, your limbs still shaking from adrenaline.
That morning, Natasha woke you up with her cock between your legs, already hard and ready for another round. Her hands only left your body during the mission and three days later after its success, she didn’t hesitate to fuck you senseless until you passed out.
A/n - I have an idea for part two so let me know if that's something you'd like.
#natasha romanoff#black widow#natasha romanoff x reader#natasha x reader#natasha romanoff x y/n#natasha x y/n#natasha x you#natasha romanoff smut#marvel#mcu#marvel smut#mcu x you#mcu x reader#mcu x y/n#g!p natasha romanoff#g!p natasha x reader#g!p natasha
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private but not secret | jude bellingham
summary; when fans found out who jude is dating
genre; smau
face claim; jade picon
note; this is my first smau so let me know if there's anything I can do better next time. english is not my first language so sorry if there are any mistakes.
masterlist!
˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚ ❀˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚ ❀˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚ ❀˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚
yourusername uploaded to their story;
[caption 1: finally, I'm free and ready for this summer!] [caption 2: roses from someone special 🤍]
judebellingham: I love you babe 😍
judebellingham: i can't wait to see you this week in wembley
yourusername: I love you my golden boy!
yourusername: i'm so excited!! it will be the first time I go to a champions league final so you better win
judebellingham: all for you baby
yourusername
liked by judebellingham, vinijr, trentarnold66 and others
yourusername: hello london
judebellingham: hello beauty
❤️ liked by the author
minabonino: we need to have a girls date!
jobebellingham: hello
yourusername uploaded to their story;
[caption: supportive girl]
judebellingham: you are the best
judebellingham: i love you so much, thank you for being by my side
vinijr: HALAAA MADRIIIDDDD 🤍🤍
trentarnold66: cheater
judebellingham
liked by yourusername, vinijr, brahim, judebfan and others
judebellingham: CHAMPIONS OF EUROPE!!! 🏆 Siempre HALA MADRID 🤍
yourusername: well done golden boy!
❤️ liked by the author
judebellingham: thanks pretty girl
user1: hello!!!??
user2: who are you girl?
user3: why did he like all her photos 😭😭
vinijr: Love u
brahim: judeee 🤍🤍
footballwags
liked by user1, user2 and others
footballwags: jude and his rumored girlfriend were seen together last night celebrating his first champions league.
user1: what do you mean "rumored girlfriend"? that's not me in the photo...
user2: he is cheating on me 😭😭😭
user3: i can understand jude, she's so pretty
user4: i bet you she is with him for his money
user5: he told you that?
user6: shut the fuck up. you don't know her
user4: it's obvious guys, she is not famous and doesn't seem to be on his level
user6: and you are?
user7: I agree with you
user8: rumours has it that they met when he go to madrid and started dating a couple of months later. she is studying business and they already live together
user9: wtf how do you know that girl
itsforjude
liked by yourusername, user1, user2 and others
itsforjude: jude with fans tonight!
user1: he's so fine I can't believe he's taken 😭😭
user2: don't believe nonsense. those are just rumours until he confirms something.
user3: look at yn's last post, it looks like she was in the same place as jude.
user4: maybe they are just friends?
user3: idk, I think there is something more between them.
user5: omg!! let them live for god's sake.
user6: why is she in the likes???
yourusername
liked by judebellingham, vinijr, landonorris, footballwags and others
yourusername: from last night 🌃✨
judebellingham: beauty 😍
❤️ liked by the author
itsforjude: are you two dating??? tell us please 🥺
user1: please tell us what's going on between you and jude girl 😭
user2: I can't say anything bad because she's pretty I just need to have more ynjude content 😭
user3: FRRR!!!
user4: i can't accept he has a girlfriend and is not me...
˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚ ❀˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚ ❀˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚ ❀˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚
part 2
#jude bellingham#jude bellingham smau#jude bellingham imagine#jude bellingham x reader#jude bellingham x you#footballer x reader#football social media au#football smau#footballer x y/n#real madrid x reader
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a/n: i wrote this cracked off two Celsius’ at 5 am the morning of my genetics final ,, enjoy some post finals comfort !
masterlist
thinking abt bf!satoru who buys you energy drinks and stays up playing video games while you study because he doesn’t want you studying so late at night alone :(
he’s falling asleep halfway through a fifa match, only waking up when you accidentally hit him in the face with a blanket you were putting on him
“what time is it?” he mumbles, sitting up and turning off the gaming console, watching as you sit back down in your desk chair, rubbing your eyes and looking over notes.
“3:28,” you reply, you can hear his frown as he makes his way over to you.
he’ll coax you into a nap, promising to wake you up at 6 so you can study again. you give in after a couple feathery kisses and lulling whispers, smiling when satoru carries you to bed like a hurt baby bird.
he doesn’t sleep, he stays up watching tv or doing paperwork, begrudgingly waking you gently when the clock hits 6. he has some cut up fruit in a bowl next to your desk along with some water.
satoru watches as you study, heart swelling with pride as you explain a concept to him.
he’s wishing you luck when he drops you off, giving you a good luck kiss and smiling at you fondly when you chase after his lips for one last peck.
bf!satoru who picks you up after you tell him you’re out, bringing you home to blueberry pancakes and an entire spread of breakfast foods.
“i have to make sure my genius is well fed don’t i?” he smiles, dimples on display and cerulean eyes shimmering when he looks at you.
bf!satoru who carries you to bed once more, waiting patiently as you changed into more comfortable clothes before laying on the bed. he’s silent as he grabs the jade roller from your night stand, gently rolling the cool object over your face until your breathing evens out.
satoru smiles at the sight of you, lips slightly parted as your chest falls and rises in rhythm with his. he fights the urge to press kisses over your face, the urge to wake you and tell you how incredibly proud he was of you and how he can’t wait to spoil you for all your hard work.
he settles instead for laying gently next to you, letting his eyes flutter closed and ever so slightly nudge himself into your side. and even in your sleep, you’re moving to accommodate the love of your life. shifting just enough so satoru could wrap his arms around you.
the day wastes away around the two of you, engulfed in a bubble of cuddles, naps and sweet nothings as you rest after an exhausting semester, finally free for what feels like the first time in forever.
for now satoru is content holding you in his arms, letting you sleep to your hearts content until you’re finally back at 100%. he decides to tell you of the week long vacation in Europe tomorrow, along with the thousand other dates he’s already planned out for the two of you.
taglist: @chilichopsticks @anime-for-the-sleepless @4sat0ruu @safaia-47 @nanamikentoseyebags @fushironi @nineooooo @the-mom-friend-dot-com @gojoshooter @beautiful-is-boring @sweetheart-satoru @luna0713hunter @torusmochi @kentocalls
#idk if i like it#but i needed this so :P#also just to get back into the groove of writing & posting :3#gojo satoru x reader#gojo satoru#gojo satoru fluff#gojo satoru drabble#gojo satoru imagine#gojo satoru x you#gojo satoru x y/n#gojo satoru x gn!reader#satoru gojo x reader#satoru gojo x you#satoru gojo fluff#satoru gojo x reader fluff#gojo satoru x reader fluff#satoru gojo drabble#jjk gojo#satoru gojo imagine#jjk gojo x reader#jujutsu kaisen drabble#jujutsu kaisen fluff#add to masterlist
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As someone who is literally transylvanian, it always baffles me how many people think Transylvania is a made up place. Like. It is a region in romania. With a very rich history. It is not haha fantasy dracula land.
#jade talks#it is not just americans who think that either like#the amount of times I've told people where im from and they thought its a joke????? bc they dont think its a real place??????#educate yourself tf#you're european this is literally a place in europe
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Giant Emerald Pill-Millipede: when these enormous millipedes are all rolled up, their bodies can be as big as a baseball, a tennis ball, or a small orange
This species (Zoosphaerium neptunus) is commonly known as a giant emerald pill-millipede. The females can measure up to 90mm long (roughly 3.5 inches), making this the largest species of pill-millipede in the world.
There is a significant degree of sexual dimorphism in this species, with the males measuring only about 45mm (1.8 inches) long -- roughly half the size of the females.
Giant emerald pill-millipedes are found only in Madagascar, which is home to several endemic species of giant pill-millipedes (order Sphaerotheriida). The Malagasy name for giant pill-millipedes is "Tainkintana," which means "shooting-star."
Pill-millipedes use conglobation as a defense mechanism, which means that they can curl their bodies up into a spherical shape so that their dorsal plates form a protective shield around the softer, more vulnerable parts of their bodies, just like an actual pill-bug or a "roly-poly."
When they roll themselves up completely, they look almost like gently polished chunks of malachite, emerald, or jade.
Giant emerald pill-millipedes will sometimes form large swarms that travel together as a group. This is the only species of giant pill-millipede that engages in any sort of swarming behavior, and the purpose of that behavior is still unclear. The swarms often contain thousands of individuals, with almost all of them moving in the same direction, even when there is no physical contact that might allow the millipedes to "herd" one another along.
Their swarming behavior also has some very peculiar features, as this article explains:
During swarming, Zoosphaerium neptunus individuals pay little attention to their surroundings; many specimens were observed walking straight into and drowning in small puddles. Some swarms even display ‘cliché lemming behaviour:' in Marojejy, a large part of a swarm walked into and drowned in a small river.
No single specimen was observed walking ‘against the current,' all specimens were moving in the same direction (southeast), even when not in contact with one another.
Of 273 randomly collected individuals, 105 were males, while 168 were females. The males were 8.3 - 14.1 mm wide (average width 10.4 mm). According to the inner horns of the posterior telopods, all males were sexually mature. The females were 9.95 - 15.4 mm wide (average width 11.4 mm). All females displayed non sclerotized vulvae and were sexually immature.
Some researchers argue that the swarming serves as a defense mechanism, providing a layer of protection (or at least some cryptic cover) against local predators, but the swarming behavior is still poorly understood.
Important Note: I just want to remind everyone that these animals belong in their own natural habitat -- they should not be trapped, bought/sold, traded, shipped, collected, or kept as pets. This particular species does not survive well in captivity, either, and the demand for these "exotic" invertebrates is putting the wild populations in jeopardy. The previous article discusses those issues, too:
Another possible threat for Z. neptunus swarms are collections for the pet trade. There exists a large demand in Japan, Europe and North America for 'green -eyed monsters’ as pets. Giant pill -millipedes from Madagascar unfortunately have a very short survival time in terraria. The species is specialized on low-energy food (dead leaves), and adapted to the cool climates (<20°C) of the highlands. Specimens in terraria often starve to death quickly.
So I know that they're adorable and really, really fascinating...but let's just let them be their chunky, adorable little selves out in the wild where they belong.
Sources & More Info:
European Journal of Taxonomy: Seven New Giant Pill-Millipede Species and New Records of the Genus Zoosphaerium from Madagascar
Madagascar Conservation & Development: Swarming Behavior in the World's Largest Giant Pill-Millipede, Z. neptunus, and its Implication for Conservation Efforts
Bonn Zoological Bulletin Supplementum: The Giant Millipedes, Order Sphaerotheriida (an Annotated Species Catalogue) (PDF)
African Invertebrates: Madagascar's Living Giants: Discovery of Five New Species of Endemic Giant Pill-Millipedes from Madagascar (PDF)
#arthropods#giant green pill-millipede#zoosphaerium neptunus#myriapods#diplopoda#millipedes#island gigantism#entomology#evolution#malagasy#cool animals#bugs#insects#animal facts#madagascar#pill-millipede#pill bugs#but not really#Tainkintana#conglobation#swarming#conservation#giant emerald pill-millipede
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Oh my god, asks are open! Hey how are you?? And what are your favourite König AUs' counterparts??
Asks are still closed, actually, I just used the opportunity to promote my Instagram. But...for my top Konig AUs, I have these ones! 1) Mafia Konig. Oh how I love this man. I honestly don't know much about Austrian criminal life, but I just know that this man is the perfect jaded ex-soldier who came out of service, saw how the system treats its veterans, and decided to seize power for himself. He is cool, strong - his awkwardness and inability to socialize casually is almost going unnoticed as he seeks retired soldiers to make up his crime group, getting control over drug and weapons market. With his connections in all of Central Europe and slowly creeping onto the Eastern part and illegal gun and oil deals, the only thing he is lacking is a pretty girl on his lap, making him feel good. He doesn't like escorts, often leaving bad taste in his mouth - but he sees you, a pretty girl working in a cafe that he owns, in a flower shop that is just a front for his business, in some shabby tourist establishment made to get tourists on cheaply produced drugs...you're innocent, you have no idea about the dangers around you - but don't worry, he is cynical for both of you. 2) Loser!Konig Seeing this big guy with a big title and money and even a house being a complete loser for you is...something. He is dangerous, of course, always getting borderline or straight-up obsessive, so down and for you it's horrible - but the again, he is the only guy to ever love you like this...so, why not give him a chance? Yes, he will hunt you down and out you on his basement by the end of the week because he has no idea what the hell courting is but, then again, he would also give you some interesting lecture about lego and war history.
3) Monster!Konig Obviously, having this giant eldritch horror dude so down bad for you is exciting to write! This version of Konig is mainly a tsundere type, he is acting cold because monsters value power and he doesn't want to seem too soft with his little pet wife - but don't worry, he is soft and warm behind the closed doors, always allowing you to have something nice for yourself. This version of him tights with oviposition, obviously. He is using your fertile, lush body to carry his eggs - so be prepared for all the exciting thing about pregnancy, but over and over again, with Konig cooing over you as he finally mates you for hours on end... 4) Dilf!Konig This bastard uses his kid to maintain contact with you, and he is not even ashamed! It's honestly horrible( he doesn't like to talk to his kid, so he took you in as either willing or a kidnapped nanny, and then proceeded to breed another child into you just because this guy has a major breeding kink, but can't take care of children( He will pay for everything, at least, even hiring some help to make everything a bit easier for you - but god, he starts to like his kids only when you're playing with them...
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But You Without Me Ain't Nice
prompt: ( requested ) deciding to surprise your boyfriend for Christmas after studying abroad, only to discover him in the arms of another. when you return to Oxford, so does his desire.
pairing: Felix Catton x female!reader
fandom masterlist: Saltburn
word count: 5.7k+
note: it's not EXPLICIT cheating 'cause i wanted them to get back together.
warnings: small bouts of jaded feminism, cursing, hurt and comfort, AU timeline 'cause of implied altered canon, small angst, drama, emotions are hard, long distance relationships are hard, boys are dumb, "cheating" but not explicit - you'll see, more so betrayal, so that makes this relationship angst?
Cassandra's squeal of excitement was shrill enough to pierce an eardrum when you shuffled into her dormitory, shaking the snow from your hair and coat before she hugged you tightly. "I'm so excited you're here!" She beamed, "It's been so fucking lonely without you! God, you just had to leave, huh?"
You chuckled, "Oh, shove it. Edinburgh has one of the best programs in Europe, Cass, you know this!"
"I know, I know, you're better than us little folk at Oxford," she mocked with a groan, letting go of you as your eyes rolled in humor. "But still - it's so boring without you, I miss my roomie. There's literally nobody around for me to cause havoc with," she pouted dramatically.
"Well, I'm here for the holidays," you assured, "so you get me for the next couple weeks, you lucky ducky."
"Oh, please, you and I both know Felix isn't gonna let you outta his sight when he sees you. You planning on goin' home at all?"
"No, no, my sister has a flat just down the way," you explained. "She's in London until after the New Year - gave me her key when she picked me up from the airport," you showed her the metal device with a grin.
"Gonna take Felix back to the flat?"
"If he wants," you nodded.
"Oh, yeah, whatever, a flat completely to yourselves for the entire winter holiday? He's gonna lose his mind," your friend tutted. "When are you seeing him?"
"Uh, he said he was going to some party tonight?"
"Well, that's normal," she muttered almost bitterly. "C'mon, get changed, we'll meet him there."
"What do you mean, 'normal'?"
"What? Oh," her head shook as if realizing what she had just said. "No, it's - it's nothing, just," she winced slightly, "Felix is at every party."
"Really?" You asked softly. "We talk all the time on the phone, when does he even have time?"
"No offense, but it's not like he's a model student. He's constantly partying, I hear about it all the time from girls in class - "
"What do they say?"
"He's just popular - you know, he's Felix. And he's a regular at the pubs, too."
You had a weird feeling in your gut and chest, just nodding at Cassandra. "Well, at least he's enjoying himself," you offered meekly.
"Mhm, got that right," she snickered. "He's a legend 'round the university, even people in other colleges and programs know about him. Guess that's one way t'make an impression."
"Yeah, that's Felix for yah," you sighed. "Can I borrow an outfit?"
"What's wrong with that?" She paused, looking you up and down, then wincing, "Yeah, okay, I have options for you."
"Oh, don't sound so judgmental!" You laughed, "I just didn't pack party clothes, I didn't think we'd be going to any."
"You're so lucky to have me," she grinned at you, shoving through a rack of options in her wardrobe. "You wanna look classy slutty, spicy slutty, or just plain slutty-slutty?"
You hummed and chose the 'classy' option, being an open back black mini dress that clung to your figure and hiked up your thighs with every step. It felt exciting to be with Cassandra again, meeting your first year of secondary school and becoming the closest of friends; enduring family turmoil and social drama arm-in-arm. You listened to preppy pop music as you got ready; taking turns in the bathroom to finish your hair and make-up before slipping the dress on and latching the borrowed heels around your ankles.
When you gave her a look at your final outfit, she approved - claiming Felix would probably have a heart attack when he saw you.
"Wait!" You laughed, snatching a festive Santa Claus hat from the care package her parents sent; nestling it on your head. "Eh? Eh? Right? It's good!"
"Girl - "
"C'mon, it's festive!"
"You're lucky you're just so damn cute - it works," she grinned, tossing you your coat before shrugging into hers. "Hold on - you know the rules!" She halted you from opening the dorm door, holding up the bottle of tequila. "Shots before we leave!"
"Jesus, I've missed you," you laughed, taking the solo cup she held out; watching her pour enough for at least 2-3 shots.
"It'll keep us warm in the snow," she explained. "They not partying down at Edinburgh?"
"Not like here," you snickered, downing the drinks with a screwed up expression. "And they're all really preppy - like I thought Oxford had snobs, but Christ Almighty. My roommate down there literally had a panic attack when I bought a bottle of wine."
"Why?"
"She's American, said they're not allowed until they're 21."
"Wow... That's gotta suck for them," she downed her own shots. "Okay! You ready? Wait, are you wearing panties?"
"Yeah - "
"You can't in that dress."
"I'm not taking my panties off, Cass, let's just go!" You laughed, snatching her hand and leading her out of the dorm. "So, c'mon, tell me about the guy you're seeing," you requested, looping your arms together, trudging onto the snowy sidewalk.
"Oh, you mean Jason? Yeah, no, that's over. I just realized that being here is literally the only time in my life I'll have all these easy opportunities and there was no use in wasting my time dating just one person. And it eliminates the threat of cheating. Like... I don't hold my liquor all that well anymore and there's so many good looking people here! Why be in a relationship and run that risk, you know?"
You blinked at her, unsure what to say.
"Oh," she froze, "no, no, I didn't mean - no, look, dating in college is really cool when you know you're with the right person. And since you and Felix have been together for two years already, I think it's pretty safe to say he's the right one - right?"
"I think so... But I can't lie, I've been feeling kinda guilty, thinking Felix would prefer the opportunity to sow his wild oats instead of committing to us. You know? Like you said - "
"No, don't do that, you're gonna give yourself an aneurysm being stressed and upset," she hugged your arm tightly, continuing down the sidewalk. "Felix doesn't want t'be single, he would've bucked up the nerve to break up already. And you guys talk so often, he would've said something, right?"
You mused, "Not necessarily, Felix is used to having all he wants."
She shrugged off your words, "You're overthinking 'cause you're nervous to surprise him. But you're the best Christmas present, seriously. Made my day all the better."
You just smiled and skipped over the patch of ice in your way, nearly slipping, but Cassandra kept a tight hold on you - laughing loudly, your amused shrieks echoing around the brownstone buildings. When you arrived at the flat hosting the party, you climbed 2 flights of stairs without incident and let yourselves in; being greeted by strobe lights, thick clouds of smoke, and an abundance of drunken Oxford students.
It was packed - a welcomed sight after your past semester abroad, attending dinner parties with tart wines and classical music. You only had one more semester left before coming back to Oxford full time, and things just weren't the same being away; you missed the excitement, the parties, the friends you made. Granted, you had friends at Edinburgh, you often thought you could make friends anywhere, but you knew a lot of faces here. It was a comfort. And despite knowing you were here only a couple weeks until the next semester began again, it was still nice being back.
You were greeted by several people, being hugged happily and your cheeks kissed sloppily. They asked all about your program in Scotland, insisting you do rounds of shots with them, updating you on the juiciest gossip you missed.
They told you everything... Except what you should've known.
"Have you guys seen Felix?" You asked, glancing around the packed party. You noticed the uncomfortable looks exchanged, questioning, "What? What is it?"
"Uh, you know what?" Oliver Quick sighed, a new addition to the friend group that you didn't know - actually meeting for the first time tonight. "Yeah, yeah, saw him over there - on the sofa," he pointed somewhere behind you.
"Thanks, mate," you patted his shoulder, turning to push through the partygoers.
When you were gone, Farleigh turned to Oliver, "What the fuck was that? You know Felix is drunk off his tits and India's rubbing real close."
"So? Shouldn't she know someone's making moves on her man?" Oliver asked. "Not exactly fair - "
"It's not entirely fair to set Felix up like that," Farleigh sneered. "He misses her, so he drinks, flirts with girls. But he's not acting on it, you just want to get him in trouble, you fuckin' twat!"
Oliver shrugged, looking over in time to spy you approaching the couch. "He'll only get in trouble if he's acting on his impulses, being unfaithful," Ollie sneered.
When you made it through the crowd, you found Felix sitting on the couch, but what made you stop in your tracks was the little lady sat on his lap - a girl you recognized vaguely. Felix downed the shot being handed to him, grinning that stupid grin you adore, broad hands splayed on the girl's thigh as she curled into her chest with skinny arms wrapped around his neck. Her sticky lips whispered something in his ear, giving a small nibble that made your boyfriend laugh - always the ticklish type.
The alcohol you had already downed burned an angry hole in your gut, heart heavy with betrayal, feeling outrage at their audacity the longer you watched. You looked beside you and snatched the drink from a drunk guy, taking two dramatic strides up to them and without thought, launched the entire cup at the couple.
"You bitch!" India gasped, rocketing to her feet. Felix was about to yell himself, but when he looked up and registered your angry eyes glaring at him, he gaped in shock. "Seriously, what the fuck is your issue, slut?" India sneered, stamping her foot.
"Oh, fuck off, sweetheart," you snapped, "not like it's my boyfriend you're sitting on! Really wouldn't throw stones if I was you!"
Felix stood and pushed India to the side, "Baby - "
"Oh, spare me your fucking excuses, Felix! For Christ's sake! This is what you've been doing while I'm gone!? Huh!?"
"No - "
"Bullshit! Cass told me you're constantly partying, so is this what you do? Huh? Hang up the phone with me, come to these shitty parties, get shit faced, and take girls home before calling me in the morning? You even wait until they're gone before dialing my number?"
"Darling, I swear - nothing was happening, nothing was going to happen! I don't - "
"Well, not with us soaking wet!" India raged. "You're just a jealous hag, I mean, you're dating someone like Felix but I've never even seen you! Maybe if you were a better girlfriend, he wouldn't be looking elsewhere!"
"Jesus Christ, India! Fuck off - NOW!" Felix bellowed, shocking the girl. "You don't know a Goddamn thing you're saying, and you know you're too desperate - "
"Oh! So, you're moving in on 'desperate' girls 'cause they're easy, right?" You snapped. "She might be desperate, but you are fucking pathetic, Felix! I know you get everything you want, I know you don't know real consequences, but I don't have to add to that!"
"Let's just talk outside," he tried, looking more and more like a kicked puppy.
"I'm not going anywhere with you again. This isn't working, Felix, there's no way I can trust you - not when I've just seen - this!"
"Baby, it isn't - look, this isn't what it looks like! Okay? I know it looks bad, but I don't touch them - "
"There's more!? Of course, there's more - 'cause why have just one, right?"
He winced, "I just - listen, I only flirt, baby, I swear, but I-I know that's not much better. You bein' gone, I-I have this pent up energy - "
"Oh, the poor rich boy! Unsupervised without his girlfriend, so you think it's okay to flirt with other girls? Have them sit on your lap? Touch them? Flirt all night?"
"I know it sounds bad - "
"No, you know what?" You chuckled ruefully. "You two have fun, I'm out. I'm so fucking done with you, Felix, this relationship - it obviously isn't viable. So, have your skank, but make sure you get to a clinic. You obviously couldn't choose someone decent to cheat on me with, make sure she doesn't give you any STDs."
"What did you say, bitch!?" India tried to surge up to you, but Cassandra stepped in and shoved both her shoulders; sending her sprawling to the dirty, sticky floor.
"Watch yourself," she barked, dropping another drink on her and making India squeal. She glared at Felix and approached you, hushing, "You okay?"
"No."
"Let's get outta here," she nodded, wrapping you in her arms and leading the way out - not like she had to, students parted way like the Red Sea to let you two pass.
"Wait!" Felix rushed, grabbing his jacket and following you both out. Despite the heels, mini dresses, and alcohol, you and Cass were sober enough to scurry down the stairs and outside by the time he caught up. "Baby! Wait! Please, c'mon, let me explain!"
"You've done enough! I've seen enough!" You yelled back, Cass not stopping you two from making your escape. "Just fuck off back to your whores, Felix!"
"No, no," he rushed in front of you two, forcing you to stop. "Let me talk to you, please, you think it's worse than it is, I mean - "
"Awh, you think just touching other bitches isn't that bad?" Cass sneered. "Silly slut," she scoffed, rolling her pretty eyes.
"Cass, do you mind? This is between us," He sighed.
"Oh-ho, I very much mind," she rolled her eyes. "Grovel if you want, but I'm not leaving you two alone."
"I don't want to talk, Felix! For fuck's sake, I saw all I needed to. I'm literally killing myself slowly in Scotland, trying to secure my own future 'cause not all of us can be born into money - "
"Baby, that's not fair - "
" - And you're here, living your best life, being fucking deceitful, aren't you? Your girlfriend on the side and a full buffet of sluts to choose from - and nobody would know 'cause I wasn't in the fucking country! You know what?" You chuckled, "Thank you, actually. Thank you for proving what I feared the most and cutting us free. Better to know now than later when I'm far more invested. Enjoy your pick of the fucking litter, Felix, 'cause I'm removing myself from this equation, you're now free to do whatever you want - don't have to be such a gentleman anymore and just flirt with them."
"You're right, okay? You're right, I wasn't thinking, I was trying to - I don't even know! Have 'the college experience', I think, and I got carried away. I'm so sorry - "
"You're only sorry 'cause you got caught," Cass snapped.
"Ohk for fuck's sake - Cass, I love you and all, but do you mind if this stays between my girl and I?"
"Oh, so you inviting all that female attention was 'keeping it between you'?" She cocked her head, rolling her eyes. "C'mon, babe, let's go. You don't need to hear his pathetic whinging anymore."
"Think you're right," you sniffled from the cold. "Bye, Felix."
"Please - let's just talk about this!"
"No more talking!" You barked. "You don't need to defend yourself, I saw her with you - I don't need your excuses! This is over, Felix, just - for God's sake, fuck off, already!"
He froze, never hearing such aggressive words from you before. In the years you were friends and the two you've dated, you hadn't so much as raised your voice at him - even when upset. To hear such profanity at this level shocked him. He's heard you yell, but usually at other people; he's heard you curse, but typically from excitement. He felt overwhelmed watching Cassandra walk you away under her arm, the tears surfacing and his confusion blinding; wondering how the hell he had managed to fuck everything up THIS bad.
When you got back to her dorm, you were a wreck and Cassandra wasn't sure how to start comforting you. She watched you slide to the floor in tears and squatted to take your shoes off, set the bottle of tequila beside you, and then got comfortable on the ground, too. She stretched her arm around your shoulders, sighing sadly, and just held you when you sobbed uselessly into her neck.
No amount of crying would change the past. No amount of frustration or self-pity would help. No amount of regret would turn back time and prevent you from leaving your very attractive boyfriend to the mercy of Oxford sluts.
After an hour of just crying, Cassandra perked up and asked, "You wanna stay the night here or go to your sister's?"
"Felix knows where your dorm is," you sniffled, mascara down your cheeks and chin. "Maybe we should go?"
"You want me to come, too?"
"I don't want to be alone..."
"Lemme pack real fast," she agreed, leaving you on the floor to drink until you felt numb while she raced around to prepare a duffel bag. When she was finished, she hoisted you from the ground and took her car keys, shouldering your own duffel, and leading you out of the dorms. On your way to student parking, neither of you were surprised to find Felix sprinting in your direction.
"Baby! Wait, wait, wait! Please!" He begged, barely slowing down and literally skidding to a halt, nearly slipping on ice. "Just - please, let me talk to you. I-I can't let you leave thinking I fucked those girls - "
"Oh, just go fuck yourself, Felix!" You laughed.
"Is she drunk?" He asked Cass in mild shock.
"Do you know a better way to deal with a break up?" She rolled her eyes.
"We're not broken up - "
"I heard otherwise," she sneered. "You're not used to losing, Felix, but the rest of us, on Earth, know when a relationship is over."
"I made a mistake!" He pleaded loudly.
"Just one?" You snapped.
"No, you know what? I've made a few, but I swear, nothing fucking happened! Not with any of them!"
"Oh," you mocked, snickering to Cassandra.
"Just give me a chance - "
"I did," you interrupted sadly. "I gave you all the chances, Felix, and you still chose to betray me. So, you know what? I just need time to digest your bullshit betrayal, and in order to do that, I literally can't be around you."
"How will you know how sorry I am?"
"I know, I can see it - just like I saw that bitch on your lap," you scoffed. "Can we go now?"
"C'mon, babe," Cass agreed.
"Go? Go where?" He rushed, looking panicked.
"Away from you!" You laughed, holding onto your friends arm tightly as you wobbled in her borrowed shoes.
"At least let me help you - "
"Don't need help from a slut!" You shouted to the sky, not stopping.
Felix Catton was left standing in the snow, his heart walking away from him in heels too high.
And when you got to your sister's flat, Cassandra raided the fridge and brought you ice cream and pretzels - for something both sweet and salty. For the rest of the night, you cried while stuffing your face, but whatever it was worth, at the very least, you had your best friend there to wipe your tears.
Well, after a gut wrenching Christmas break, you went back to Scotland to finish an anticlimactic semester at one of the world's most prestigious universities. Without Felix to call, you dedicated more time to studying, which paid off, because by the end, you received the highest marks in your college and earned multiple letters of recommendations from well-respected professors.
But now that the year abroad was over, you were set to return to Oxford for the next three weeks to report back to your program chairs and give them an update. Suddenly, it was like the entire semester of avoiding your feelings about Felix caught up to you the moment you boarded the plane. You had stuffed your emotions deep down, ignored his morning and evening phone calls (yes, he still called everyday), and tried your hand at dating other people - but it wasn't the same. You hated that you missed him so much, but you figured you had more self-respect than to belittle yourself for a man.
A beautiful, kind, generous man... Who made a mistake... Who demonstrated remorse... Who understands what he did was wrong and hurtful... And your Daddy did raise you to 'forgive and forget'. But still, you had a difficult time forgiving Felix in full, and therefore, couldn't forget what he did.
The betrayal was still so fresh and you couldn't stomach the idea of even speaking to him. So, you decided to avoid him by any means.
When you returned to England, it was drearier than normal. Your sister wasn't able to pick you up this time, figuring you would just hail a cab when someone laid on their horn in a long, continuous, obnoxious beep. When you looked over, Cassandra was waving at you rapidly through her window.
With an easy grin, you rushed over to her car and tossed the few bags you had into the backseat before getting in the passenger seat. "What're you doing here?" You gasped, leaning in to hug your friend.
She returned your affection enthusiastically, then was pushing you off, "Bitch, I'm double parked in the red - we gotta go!" You laughed when she rushed off, heading back to Oxford as she explained, "But you said on the phone your sister wasn't getting you, so I took the liberty of reading between the lines."
"No, I didn't mean it like that - "
"I know you didn't," she grinned, "but I just wanted to get you to campus all the faster, I've missed you!"
"We have three weeks together before the start of summer," you reminded. "Ready for exams?"
"Hardly," she scoffed. "Enough of that! Tell me all about Scotland!"
You spent the rest of the car ride without a single thought spent on Felix - all too appreciative for friends. Until you got back to the dorms, that is. You'd been there all of an hour before there was a knock at the door and when Cassandra opened it, she glanced up and down the hall in confusion, not seeing anyone - but a bouquet of flowers caught her attention.
"Well, this is cute," she mused, picking up the flowers from the floor and closing the door. "Someone left flowers? Ew, bet they're from Jason - he's been begging me to get back together."
You didn't bother reminding her they were the same Felix always sent you. You just nodded and said they must've indeed been for her since nobody knew when you were coming back. Yet something in your stomach churned, knowing this was no coincidence, you knew they were from Felix, and the idea made you oddly... Warm.
You didn't want to be touched by the small gesture, but it was sweet. Reminded you of the good times between you and Fi. You felt your guts twist, realizing how much you missed him. None the less, you never said a word.
The following day was as normal as it could've been. People were looking both happy to see you and exhausted from prep work before final exams. You understood, having completed yours; all that was left was to write up a report to your dean and other department heads and present it. You spent your days in the library while everyone was in class, and while there, you were surprised to see Felix hunched over a set of books.
You didn't approach him, just chose a separate table and got comfortable. You were in the zone for a solid hour before a shadow loomed over you, making you jump when a hand met your shoulder. "Sorry, sorry," Felix rushed, hands held in defense. "Just thought I'd give you this - you seemed really focused."
You blinked when he set a blueberry muffin down. The gesture made you smile, "You remembered?"
For every study session, you had a blueberry muffin to munch on.
"'Course I do," he nodded rapidly. "Remember everything about you, love. And these were always your favorite, right?"
"Yeah," you breathed. "Uh, thanks, Fi, this was nice of you."
"Seemed really focused, wanted to make sure you ate," he half-smiled. "I didn't mean to interrupt, uh, j-just wanted t'say good luck on your presentation."
Your heart clenched when he walked away back to his table, not once looking up at you as he worked. He really only meant to give you the muffin, which surprised you - Felix was terribly persistent, and for some reason, you actually felt sad that he wasn't vying for your attention or forgiveness.
This felt like a reality check, reminding you that you were truly broken up. So, you just sniffled and focused again, nibbling on the muffin as you revised your report. You hated the tension, the distance, the disturbing idea that while gone, he had been with countless other girls. You especially hated that you began regretting leaving for a year, feeling as if you created this situation by leaving room for Felix to seek attention elsewhere.
You knew it wasn't the truth - this wasn't your fault. You weren't the one who decided to implode your relationship, to be unfaithful in the least bit; and seeking higher educational opportunity wasn't grounds for anyone to cheat. It felt entirely unfair; you were in the same position as Felix, alone in another country, missing your friends and family, and yet, YOU never sought attention - emotional or physical - in any way from anyone else.
You at least had a sense of loyalty. But at the same time, you tried to validate that this was "the best years of your lives" and Felix was a young, hot, rich boy. Why wouldn't he bask in the attention of others? He always had and it felt wrong to crucify him for being a lad with hormones.
You began to wonder, did you overreact? Of course you didn't!
But you missed him immensely.
For the three weeks left in the semester, Felix would leave flowers at your dorm room, brought you little treats, never impeded on your space, and just made himself known without being overwhelming. You thought it was endearing without giving him too much credit after his betrayal. For three weeks, he was sweet, kind, soft spoken, and from what you understood, turned reclusive - refusing any party invitation, even backing out of pub meetings.
He wasn't hanging with friends, drinking, distracted with girls. According to local gossip, if you could put stock into the words, this new behavior started right after Christmas; after your very public break-up.
You were mildly intrigued by his change of attitude, but didn't confront it. You felt distance was necessary for healing, yet there was no denying your love that still festered - and maybe, the idea that Felix was truly remorseful and loved you, too.
It all came to a cultivation on the day of your presentation. To say you were nervous was an understatement - pacing the entire night before, going over what you were going to say, making final revisions; driving Cassandra up the wall, but she was still supportive.
That morning, she left early for her own ventures, but made sure to help you pick out an outfit. It was something smart, it complimented your figure in a professional manner and made you feel powerful and like a "real" adult.
You packed your bag and walked to your college's lecture hall, getting there about 20 minutes early to set up your materials and run through your notes one last time. When your dean and other professors entered to settle in their seats at the front, you heard the upper backdoor open. When you looked up, you were shocked - like, actually shocked - to see Felix sitting up there with Cassandra, Farleigh, your parents and sister.
You tried not to dwell on their presence, but suddenly, knowing Felix was there to support you, you didn't feel so nervous anymore. Something about his viewing of your final project made you a little more confident, quelling your nausea as you cleared your throat and started your oral presentation that had a guided visual and 20-page report.
When you finished, you were grinning. Your deans applauded you, and from the back, so did your friends and family; in fact, Felix was on his feet, clapping with vigor. You handed over the flash-drive that housed your visuals and then your bound essay report, shaking the professors hands, and letting them leave.
When you turned, your family had descended the auditorium stairs and your friends were trailing after.
"Oh, you brilliant girl!" Your father gushed, wrapping you in a huge hug. "My perfect, most special girl! That was amazing!"
"Thanks, Daddy," you giggled. "What're you guys doing here?"
"Oh, Felix called," your mother informed, petting hair off your shoulder in a calming motion. "Glad he did, we're so proud of you."
"I didn't even know peers could sit in," you admitted.
"Apparently, they're not, but you know, Felix has a way with rules," your father sighed, shaking his head in amusement. "Thank God you got your mother's intelligence, fear you'd be shit outta luck if you had mine, eh?"
This triggered a round of other compliments from your loved ones; sister and Cassandra both beaming at you in pride, everyone offering their compliments on specific sections of your presentation to prove they really, truly had been listening. You felt bashful, waving them off out of embarrassment, and then you agreed to attend dinner for a celebration - your mother informing you that the summer would be spent in a French villa and details were to be discussed at the meal. But first, you noticed Felix still sitting high up in the lecture hall and promised you meet everyone at the dorm later.
When the hall cleared, you sighed and slowly made your way up to where Felix lingered; his form fidgeting nervously the closer you got. You dropped to the seat beside him with a deep sigh, ready to confront everything, when he offered a decently large bouquet of familiar flowers. "Congrats, love," he whispered. "Was really well-done, even if I didn't know half of what you were sayin'."
You accepted the flowers, petting the petals gingerly, then asking in a low whisper, "Felix?"
"Yeah, love?"
"Why'd you do it?"
"I know how important this was for you, I asked them all to come so we could support you, knowin' you were nervous - "
"No," you interrupted, turning in your seat to face him. "Why'd you have to go and ruin us? Why wasn't I enough?"
He swallowed thickly, "It wasn't you that wasn't enough."
"Huh?"
"Think I felt insecure," he admitted. "You were at Edinburgh, bettering yourself and I think I got scared that you'd love it there so much, you know, that... You'd leave. Leave Oxford, leave England, leave... Me. So, I just... I don't have any excuse, honestly, love. I know I fucked up, but I think my fear was being projected in the worst way..."
You nodded, "Do you regret it?"
"Every fuckin' day."
"Any plans for tonight?"
"What?" He blinked in shock.
"You wanna come to dinner with us? I mean, you went through the trouble of gettin' everyone here - and I know you must've bribed someone to let them watch."
His cheeks reddened, chuckling nervously, "It wasn't... I didn't... All right, yeah, I had to pay off the custodian - he unlocked the door for us."
"Mhm," you smirked. "So? Dinner?"
"Are you sure?"
You nodded, "You made a mistake... A huge one, but a mistake none the less. We've had time apart, and I've learned, I don't want to be without you. My life is far more interesting with you in it and I feel less alone. So, if you want, I'd like for you to come to dinner with us, maybe work on our friendship again. See where things go?"
"As long as you're okay with it."
"I'm the one inviting you, yes, I'm okay with it," you chuckled at his nerves, standing, and offering your hand. "C'mon, Mum says we're spending the summer in France - maybe we can convince her to invite you, too."
"Doubt Cassandra would let that happen," Felix mused, shouldering his bag and taking your hand - instantly lacing your fingers together.
"Oh, on the contrary, she might like it; it'd give her something to do."
"What's that? Makin' me her personal punching bag?"
"Exactly," you grinned, squeezing his hand.
"Hey," he paused you before you could exit the auditorium, looking sadder than when his dog died; bottom lip gently trembling. "I just... I need you t'know, I'm really fuckin' sorry, love. I was an absolute idiot, I fucked this up - broke your trust. I regret nothing more, I was such a fuckin' arsehole, and I don't want to be without you, either. I realized I'm not myself without you, that me without you doesn't feel right - "
"Hey," you halted his rambling, "I can't tell you it's okay, Fi, because it's not, but your atonement is appreciated. We've been friends for so long, I don't think I want to walk away entirely - so, let's just go slow and figure our shit out." He nodded in agreement, letting you lead the way, smirking when you cheekily told him, "Mh, bit of advice though? You could try to get in good graces by payin' for dinner tonight."
"Done and done," he eased, releasing your hand to hang his arm around your shoulders, and just like old times, you raised your hand to lace with his, other wrapping around his waist. The smile didn't fall from Felix's face all night, and by the end of the night, had arranged to stay with your family that summer - Oliver Quick and what could've been a summer at Saltburn far from his mind.
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