#jacques-charles face reveal

[llama--plumbobsims]

[missydior]

pretty in pink ౨ৎ

notes: oscar piastri x girly!reader, est. relationship, protective demeanour, unwelcome attention from strangers, fluff. requested.

a/n: i adored writing this, and it helped encourage me to stop writing for only charles in all honesty. ily.

The aroma of petrichor against warm pastries from the L'Amour du Pain Vieux bakery nearby lingers, skies over Montréal grey with the lull of clouds where hints of the early afternoon light dance through and upon the Circuit Gilles Villeneuve below, a gentle remnant of dampness about the smooth stone streets from rainfall earlier in the hour that has since come to a halt.

With qualifying to commence in a few hours – highlighting the true beginning of the Canadian Grand Prix where your boyfriend hopes to secure the finest result possible – there is a heightening feel about the paddock as you wander through, latte of oat-milk and vanilla balanced in one soft-skinned hand, donned in your favourite, little dress like blushing, pale peonies.

After an early albeit comfortable, familiar morning waking beside Oscar in your shared hotel suite amongst the quiet luxury of pretty, minimal décor – mussed bed sheets of lush cotton, cashmere throws and interlocked limbs – shared, slow kisses and breakfast consisting of sweet, syruped pancakes and coffee, before greeting the true day ahead, you are most excited.

Amongst conversational journalists with inviting, saccharine smiles merely for enticement and photographers who do not hesitate to notice your face, the lovely and pretty diamond that is Oscar Piastri's lovable girlfriend, you have never quite opposed to the media attention so long as you have him by your side.

"Hm." Chanel ballet flats of embroidered ivory and light-pink clicking on the path, comforted by your sweet treat in hand whilst balancing your iPhone in the other – a brief conversation with your lover concluding he would be busy for another couple of minutes at least due to press conferences – you are mostly contently lost in your own daydreams.

"Excuse me?"

It is the sound of a voice addressed in your direction that has you faltering in your gait, pretty head tilting just the slightest to glimpse over your shoulder just as the sudden voice and approach of a male has you somewhat shy.

"Sorry, I feel like I know you from somewhere," He is youthful, perhaps the same age or a year older than the aforementioned by looks, dressed rather comfortably in a clean, white shirt of linen only half-buttoned against the beige hues of his trousers, Française Cartier watch glinting on his wrist.

His mouth curves on a smile, eyes like caramel dancing over your face and lower until he allows himself the fleeting, silent glance at how the neat edges of your mini dress hug your thighs before straightening his stance once again, lithe fingers threading through his styled, light hair.

The words leave you a touch perplexed given you certainly do not recognise him and lack any recollection of his face, laughing uncertainly as you tuck a stray hair behind the shell of your ear with the clink of a rose quartz bracelet about your wrist, the sound sweet as an angel's.

"I'm sorry, I don't think–"

"It's alright, I don't either." The man continues with an amiable shrug as though pretending to understand or assume what you had been meaning to say, countenance turning more charismatic on the edge of a revealed dimple, "My name's Jacques, love."

There is something in his gaze and the execution of his demeanour which has you hesitating, rosebud mouth parted ajar whilst you glance about momentarily even when the hint of a natural, polite smile remains.

"Well, it's nice to meet you, Jacques," You reply quietly, the expression you hold towards him is a pleasant one despite yourself, although not enough to reveal the slight discomfort that lurks in the depths of your stomach, "But my boyfriend is–"

"Right here."

As if the mention or mere thought of him was an innate manifestation, you are greeted with the presence of a certain, handsome individual where you recognise the warmth of his aura just as fingertips are felt on the curve of your vertebrae against a splayed palm.

You cannot deny or refuse the immediate beginnings of a soft smile and the ease flourishing within you as soon as his touch is known, the lingering scent of his cologne with hints of patchouli and rosewood permeating, an incline of your head allowing gazes to meet momentarily in mutual greeting.

He stands tall beside you, the limb draped around your waist a familiar presence whilst eyes of an intimate, rich hue that remind you of coffee and autumn dance between yourself and the other man who now stands a touch awkwardly with a dissuaded visage.

"Is this man bothering you, princess?" His tone is honey-like, a smooth and lowered baritone that you adore, though there is the telltale sign of his fingertips that press a touch firmer against your hipbone, and the arch of a brow, that demonstrates the silent brewing of protectiveness in the midst of his affections for you. Oscar Piastri is an affectionate sweetheart, true to his feelings and honest in generosity with the renowned presence of patience, though can be a defensive figure when the subject concerns his girl.

"Not really. He was just being friendly," Your cadence is light and sweet with imploration, the subtle gesture of a kiss left against his cheekbone in comforting warmth as you balance on the edge of your toes momentarily.

You are sweet, almost too much so with your pretty looks and the faint glimpses of innocence there even though you know exactly where you stand; it has Oscar longing to return to the quiet privacy of home where nobody will harass you both for attention, where he can have you to himself even if only for a little while.

Jacques chuckles, almost uncertainly in a manner that juxtaposes his previous incentive whilst tucking one palm into the concealing wool of his tailored slacks when he nods, "I was just saying 'hello', no harm done."

The Australian does not seem particularly reassured though there is no instigation for a disagreement, looking over the other only a moment longer without another word before he's silently coaxing you against his side when he walks with a gait somewhat quicker than his usual.

"Wait," Your kissable lips touch a little downward in uncertain wonder, though you follow his guidance easily, a touch intrigued by his lingering silence that lacks explanation, "Where are we headed? Was I doing something wrong?"

There is no initial comfort or answer to your inquiries as he looks forward, evidently lost to his own thoughts whilst internally calming himself from the dwindling ache of his possession over you, a muscle in the line of his jaw shifting almost imperceptibly.

A boring press conference consisting of being asked the same questions like a repetitive, tedious dance had already left him a touch bitter, and the sight of a stranger trying to steal his girlfriend's attention away only aggravates him further.

Eventually, your shared walk leads to the quieter alcoves of the McLaren hospitality comforts until he's nudging you backwards through a white-varnished door, breathing in the sweetness of your perfume – Good Girl: Blush – with hints of almond against sweet peonies, vanilla and coumarin.

"You weren't doing anything wrong," Oscar murmurs, his arm entwined securely about your figure as his lips ghost over the outer shell of your ear near the glimmer of divine, embellished earrings he gifted you on your birthday after he had seen you admiring them through the glass of a jewellery shop once, swallowing slowly.

It is a quiet, comfortable room – one that he often confides in the refuge of when in need of fleeing from the never-ending attention and demands of his profession, an inviting, plush chaise lounge of white cushioning, shelves and cupboards of various items.

Your glossed lips touch into a delicate pout of mystery, a gentle sound of consideration and acknowledgement leaving the back of your throat whilst arms drape loosely around his neck, the edges of your thumbs tracing along his nape where you feel the soft hairs there.

"Then what was it?"

"Nothing." It is an uncharacteristically brief reply, though the manner his lightly-calloused palms cradle the small of your waist until he cannot quite restrain himself from the tightened grasp there with a brief glance towards the closed door, exhaling through his teeth in some kind of defeat, "I'm... Do you want me to be honest?"

The question is uttered so softly that the question leaves you a fraction breathless, heart thrumming within the interns of your rib cage like a dove locked away as you nod.

"I always want the truth from you, Ossie," You respond in a lull so saccharine it sounds like a sing-song of delight, the edge of your index finger and thumb dancing downwards against the soft fabric of his sweater before pausing when you meet his eyes through your lashes.

Oscar sighs, though there is the slightest of reservations of a smile the corners of his mouth at the manner in which you address him, a nickname reserved especially for when the two of you are alone together and intimate.

He does not immediately bless you with an answer, tilting your head towards him in silent, shared invitation before your mouths melt together. It is slow and sweet, tasting one another and your belongings forgotten on the nearby, makeshift desk of polished oak, a sweetened hint of café au lait on your tongue.

"Seeing that man," He begins between chaste kisses, not quite allowing you the liberty of shying away as he holds you close until your back nudges the ivory-coated wall behind, near drawn photographs of memorabilia from old Grand Prixes, "And how he looked at you, it made me want to–"

He pauses, inhaling audibly as though trying to meditate on his own emotions in that moment, his hands feeling over your body like a sculptor and his finest work before he swallows the remainder of his sentence with a kiss.

Oscar Piastri is an undeniably attractive man when he's possessive over you, touching every inch of you like his belongings, muttered sweet nothings and vows of devotions against your tongue. It is a warm feeling, knowing he will always protect you without hesitance. And he does, cherishes you like the pretty doll you seem to be, because he cares in some earnest, undying reality.

"I love you."

The punctuation of another kiss, "I love you more." And he traces the jut of your ribs through the thin, velveteen fabric of your rosé dress when he holds you close until you're flush together, sighing against your lips, "I will never let anybody hurt you, ever. Understood?"

"I understand."

[omegaphilosophia]

The Philosophy of the Face

The philosophy of the face delves into the significance of the face as both a physical and symbolic representation of identity, expression, ethics, and human interaction. The face holds profound philosophical meaning, often considered a site where individuality, sociality, and ethical responsibilities converge.

Key Themes in the Philosophy of the Face:

Identity and Subjectivity:

The face is the most recognizable and unique feature of a person, serving as a primary means of identifying and distinguishing individuals. Philosophically, the face represents individual subjectivity and personhood. It is often tied to the idea of selfhood and how we understand ourselves and others as distinct beings.

Thinkers such as Emmanuel Levinas have emphasized the face as a central aspect of ethical relations. For Levinas, encountering another’s face is a direct confrontation with their humanity, which demands responsibility and ethical consideration.

Expression and Emotion:

The face is the primary medium through which humans convey emotions such as joy, sadness, anger, and surprise. Philosophers of mind and emotion, like Charles Darwin in The Expression of the Emotions in Man and Animals, have studied how the face communicates internal states.

The face also plays a key role in nonverbal communication and body language. Merleau-Ponty, in his phenomenology of perception, views the face as part of our embodied experience, where internal states are manifested externally in the physical world.

The Face and Ethical Responsibility:

In Levinas’s philosophy, the face-to-face encounter is the foundation of ethical relations. The face of the other calls us to responsibility, evoking a moral imperative to recognize their vulnerability and dignity. This idea contrasts with objectifying others, where the person is reduced to a thing rather than recognized in their full humanity.

The face, in Levinas’s ethics, is unavoidably tied to vulnerability. Seeing another’s face can invoke a sense of empathy and care, demanding that we treat the other as more than just an object or a means to an end.

The Gaze and Power:

Jean-Paul Sartre, in his work on existentialism, discusses the concept of the gaze. The idea is that when someone looks at us, we become aware of ourselves as objects in their perception. The gaze of another can be experienced as oppressive or objectifying, leading to feelings of shame or discomfort.

The face is the focal point of the gaze, and philosophers like Michel Foucault have explored how visual power dynamics—like surveillance—operate through the act of looking. The face becomes a site of control and regulation in social contexts.

Facial Recognition and Social Interaction:

In social philosophy, the face is a crucial component of how we interact with and recognize others. Recognition theory, explored by philosophers like Axel Honneth, focuses on the importance of mutual recognition in shaping personal identity and self-esteem. The face plays a central role in these processes of acknowledgment and affirmation.

Social norms about facial expressions also shape interactions. For instance, in certain cultural contexts, smiling or maintaining eye contact is a form of politeness, while in others, it may signify dominance or intrusion.

The Mask and Concealment:

The face is often considered a symbol of authenticity, but the act of masking the face introduces questions about identity and deception. Masks, both literal and figurative, can conceal the true self, leading to philosophical inquiries about authenticity and self-presentation.

In postmodern philosophy, thinkers like Jacques Derrida and Gilles Deleuze question whether the face can ever fully reveal the self. Instead, the face may be seen as a surface, a construct that conceals as much as it reveals.

Facial Alteration and Technology:

With advances in plastic surgery, facial recognition technology, and artificial intelligence, the face has become a subject of technological and ethical debate. The ability to alter, enhance, or track faces raises questions about identity, privacy, and authenticity.

Transhumanist philosophers discuss the role of technology in altering human bodies, including the face, and what that means for personal identity. Facial modification challenges the idea that the face is a static, natural marker of identity.

The Face and Beauty:

The face is a primary site for judgments of beauty, and philosophers have long debated the nature of beauty and its relation to human worth. Aesthetic philosophy considers how facial symmetry, proportion, and expression contribute to perceptions of beauty.

Feminist philosophy critiques the societal emphasis on women’s faces as objects of beauty, exploring how cultural norms around appearance can lead to objectification and unrealistic standards that shape individual self-worth.

The Face in Art and Representation:

Throughout history, the face has been a central subject in art. Portraits, sculptures, and photographs focus on capturing the essence of a person through their facial features. Philosophers of art, such as Arthur Danto and Theodor Adorno, explore how the representation of the face in art reflects deeper truths about human existence.

The face in art can reveal vulnerability, character, and emotion, serving as a window into the subject’s inner life. Artists like Rembrandt and Picasso have used the face to explore deeper psychological and existential themes.

The Face and Memory:

The face plays a crucial role in how we remember and recognize others. Phenomenology and cognitive science explore the significance of the face in memory and the emotions tied to recognition.

Faces are tied to personal history and relationships. The memory of a face can evoke emotions, both positive and negative, shaping our interactions and relationships.

The philosophy of the face encompasses a wide range of issues related to identity, expression, ethics, and social interaction. The face is a powerful symbol of human individuality and vulnerability, playing a central role in communication, recognition, and ethical responsibility. Philosophers across various traditions explore the face as a site where personal and interpersonal meaning is created, raising important questions about how we understand ourselves and others in social and ethical contexts.

[aftaabmagazine]

A passage from the archaeologist spade

A passage from the archaeologist spade

By Berenice Geoffroy-Schneiter From her book Gandahar

"It s above all at Begram-Kapisa that we should begin extensive excavations as soon as possible, given that we are sure the harvest will be a most interesting one," Foucher wrote in 1923, in one of his very first dispatches from Kabul. Nonetheless, excavations continued throughout the region. Summoned from France by Foucher, Joseph Hackin succumbed in turn to the lofty beauty of the "Kingdom of the Blue," and savored the "infinite peace of the twilight of Islam."

His first steps took him to the ruins of the ancient fort at Balkh, then to Paitava, only seven miles from the Begram site. There, he unearthed a statuette which was original to say the least, a "Buddha executing the double Miracle of Water and Fire." Carved in a magnificent grayish-colored schist, today it resides in the Musée Guimet in Paris. 

"On Saturday, December 20th, it appeared, face first, new and all gold, sparkling in the rising sun. This is the beautiful golden glow in which legend has bathed the image of the Blessed One..."

But politics and archaeology, fraught with intermittent crises and misunderstandings, often made capricious bedfellows. It was until 1936 that the Begram area, long considered too dangerous, became available to archaeologists again.

The "Bazaar excavations," directed by Jean Carl and Jacques Meunier, quickly proved fertile. "Site I" revealed structures of a town from the Kushan period (first through the third centuries), its narrow streets lined with craftsmen's booths. But "Site 2," entrusted to Ria, Joseph Hackin's wife, surpassed their wildest hopes.

In a few days, out of the bowels of the Begram earth came a treasure whose wealth and eclecticism testified to the extraordinary role this opulent central Asian city and crossroads once played.

Carefully set on benches placed next to the walls, translucent glassware, delicately painted in the purest Alexandrian style, mingled with magnificent fish-shaped balsamaries and charming Hellenic bronzes and plaster emblemata (the medallions which served as models for apprentice artists or samples for prospective clients) of those staple subjects maenads, Silenuses, satyrs and other benevolent Dionysian figures-so popular in the ancient world.

Cosmopolitan and hedonist Begram was by no means the only city to harbor the remnant of the past. Discoveries were made daily, with each new excavation dictated by the vagaries of the turbulent political climate. 

It was, as Joseph Hackin summed up in his journal in 1924, "archaeology practiced as a sport."

—Berenice Geoffroy-Schneiter - - - 

The La Délégation archéologique française en Afghanistan (DAFA) was established in 1922 to conduct archaeological studies. Archaeologist and art historian Bérénice Geoffroy-Schneiter, who spent her childhood in the region, provides excerpts from the first DAFA archeologists: Alfred Charles Auguste Foucher (1865–1952), the founder of DAFA, Joseph Hackin (1886-41) and Marie "Ria" Hackin (1905-41). This passage was published in the book "Gandahar" (2001). 

Marie "Ria" Hackin (1905-41) was a French archeologist with DAFA who excavated several Buddist-era sites in Begram and Bamiyan. She was the first woman archaeologist in the region.  

Joseph Hackin (1886-41) was a French archeologist with DAFA. He excavated many Buddist-era sites in Begram, Kabul, Bamiyan, and Hadda. He and his wife,  Marie "Ria" Hackin, died on a ship in the Atlantic that was hit by a German torpedo.  

[the-paintrist]

Marie-Guillemine Benoist, born Marie-Guillemine Laville-Leroux (December 18, 1768 – October 8, 1826), was a French neoclassical, historical, and genre painter.

Benoist was born in Paris, the daughter of a civil servant. Her training as an artist began in 1781 under Élisabeth Vigée Le Brun, and she entered Jacques-Louis David's atelier in 1786 along with her sister Marie-Élisabeth Laville-Leroux.

Benoist first exhibited in the Exposition de la Jeunesse in 1784, showing a portrait of her father and two pastel studies of heads. She continued to exhibit at the Exposition until 1788. The poet Charles-Albert Demoustier, who met her in 1784, was inspired by her in creating the character Émilie in his work Lettres à Émilie sur la mythologie (1801).

In 1791, Benoist exhibited for the first time at the Paris Salon, displaying her mythology-inspired picture Psyché faisant ses adieux à sa famille. Another of her paintings of this period, L'Innocence entre la vertu et le vice, is similarly mythological and reveals her feminist interests—in this picture, vice is represented by a man, although it was traditionally represented by a woman. In 1793, she married the lawyer Pierre-Vincent Benoist .

Her work, reflecting the influence of Jacques-Louis David, tended increasingly toward history painting by 1795. In 1800, Benoist exhibited Portrait d'une négresse (as of 2019 renamed Portrait of Madeleine) in the Salon. Six years previously, slavery had been abolished, and this image became a symbol for women's emancipation and black people's rights. James Smalls, a professor of Art History at the University of Maryland, declared that "the painting is an anomaly because it presents a black person as the sole aestheticized subject and object of a work of art." The picture was acquired by Louis XVIII for France in 1818.

An important commission for a full-length portrait of Napoléon Bonaparte—Premier Consul Français in this period—was awarded to her in 1803. This portrait was to be sent to the city of Ghent, newly ceded to France by the Treaty of Lunéville in 1801. Other honors came to her; she was awarded a Gold Medal in the Salon of 1804, and received a governmental allowance. During this time she opened an atelier for the artistic training of women.

Her career was harmed by political developments, however, when her husband, the supporter of royalist causes, Comte Benoist, was nominated in the Conseil d'État during the post-1814 Bourbon Restoration. Despite being at the height of her popularity, "she was obliged to abandon painting" and pursuing women's causes, due in part to her devoir de réserve ("tactful withdrawal") in the face of the growing wave of conservatism in European society.

Her last entry to the Salon was in 1812. She died in Paris in 1826, having painted few items in the years before this.

Marie-Guillemine Benoist (French, 1768-1826) Les adieux de Psyché à sa famille, 1791

Psyche Bidding Her Family Farewell is a scene from the story of Cupid and Psyche by Lucius Apuleius Madaurensis. It depicts the princess Psyche bidding her family farewell as they are forced to sacrifice her to a monstrous creature in order to save her father’s kingdom.

[whileiamdying]

‘The World After Us’ Review: Charming but Aimless Lessons in Parisian Life, Love and Literary Ambition

A young writer finds love, grief and finally, inspiration in a tender directorial debut that feels like a dry-run for bigger things to come. By Jessica Kiang

“Did you think you were making a French independent film?” rails literary agent Vincent (Mikaël Chirinian) in French independent film “The World After Us.” He’s angry with his callow young client, Labidi (Aurélien Gabrielli), because Labidi has abruptly changed tack on a novel that’s already been optioned, and has also changed its title to, inevitably, “The World After Us.” Louda Ben Salah-Cazanas’ directorial debut is sensitively made, well observed and beautifully performed, but as this rather desultory stab at reflexivity suggests, it doesn’t have many surprises in store.

Where it really works is as a character portrait of the young aspiring author, to great measure aided by Gabrielli’s soulful, faintly Charles Aznavour vibe and tamped-down, off-kilter charm. Labidi, whose doting and delightful working-class Muslim parents (Saadia Bentaïeb and Jacques Nolot) run a small café in Lyon, lives in Paris. Actually, he basically squats there, sleeping on a thin mattress on the floor of the tiny shoebox apartment of his big, sweet friend Aleksei (Léon Cunha Da Costa). He has published exactly one short story and is working on an important-sounding opus set during the Algerian War, presumably inspired by his own North African background.

Of course writing is mostly not-writing, and there Labidi excels, especially after he cutely meets Elisa (Louise Chevillotte, so great in “Synonyms” and soon to be seen in Paul Verhoeven’s “Benedetta”). Where up to this point he’s been a bit of a sadsack, his endearing pickup routine, which involves choking on a cigarette he doesn’t want and then writing his number on another and popping it in her mouth, reveals an unexpected, attractively offbeat confidence. Apparently he’s always been a hit with the ladies: On a visit back home his father reminisces about all the “knockouts” Labidi used to date, joking, “I don’t know how you managed, with that face of yours.”

Labidi and Elisa fall, quickly and believably, in love. And that’s where the trouble starts, inasmuch as Salah-Cazanas’ gentle screenplay, embellished with some literary narration contributed by noted Moroccan novelist Abdellah Taïa, deals in trouble at all. Perhaps the main issue with “The World After Us” is that it sketches characters we care for but never really worry about, and a certain amount of worry is useful in creating drama. Labidi gets into debt trying to have a coupled-up lifestyle with Elisa, complete with finding them an apartment that neither can afford. He starts to embark on get-rich-quick schemes, working as a Deliveroo driver, pilfering money from his glasses-store job and even indulging in some light insurance scamming, all of which leaves him little time or inclination to work on his book. Suddenly Labidi is a lover, not a writer.

When tragedy does strike, it’s the kind that most of us can be expected to suffer at some point, and it cues Labidi to get his relationships with Elisa, his bank balance and his muse into some sort of grown-up order. It’s a rite-of-passage story that might be cranked down just one key too low, but it does give Salah-Cazanas a neutral backdrop against which to develop an assured and promising directorial style. A low-lit, lightly scuffed palette lends Amine Berrada’s photography, which flexes easily between nervy juddering and dreamy smoothness, a warm yet realist feel. The soundtrack too is striking: Jean-Charles Bastion’s cello-heavy score ranges from harmony to fragility and contains all kinds of depths and colors, but it’s frequently nudged aside to make room for fun pop tracks and jazz cuts. One montage is set to Blue Boy’s ’90s club hit “Remember Me”; another is given a freewheeling energy by skittering jazz percussion.

The French independent film tradition to which Vincent refers is long and storied, and “The World After Us” is a solid entry into that canon, with an authentic contemporary feel and a calm perspective that subtly normalizes Labidi’s Muslim-Tunisian heritage, and his uncertain feelings about it, without making it the central subject. But the cinema of attractive young French people negotiating early-life crises wreathed in Gitanes smoke is also so familiar by now that mildly humorous insights into generational issues like the gig economy, lifestyle brands or the ludicrous cost of Parisian life are not enough to imbue any urgency. Such engaging, well-drawn characters are a pleasure to spend time with, and Salah-Cazanas has a bright future behind the camera, but so much of “The World After Us” feels like expertly crafted background for a drama that’s always about to start in the next scene, until there are no next scenes left.

‘The World After Us’ Review: Charming but Aimless Lessons in Parisian Life, Love and Literary Ambition

Reviewed at Berlin Film Festival (online), Berlin, March 3, 2021. Running time: 85 MIN. (Original title: "Le Monde Après Nous")

Production: (France) A Les Idiots and 21 Juin Cinema production. (World sales: Be for Films, Brussels.) Producers: Olivier Capelli, Laurent Rochette.

Crew: Director, screenplay: Louda Ben Salah-Cazanas. Camera: Amine Berrada. Editor: Vincent Tricon. Music: Jean-Charles Bastion.

With: Aurélien Gabrielli, Louise Chevillotte, Saadia Bentaïeb, Jacques Nolot, Léon Cunha Da Costa, Mikaël Chirinian, Hyacinthe Blanc, Noémie Schmidt, Isabelle Prim, Grégoire Lagrange. (French dialogue)

[tcm]

Jean Gabin and the Allure of Pepe By Susan King

Julian Duvivier’s PÉPÉ LE MOKO is one of the most influential films of the 20th century. Not only is the 1937 French romantic crime drama starring the legendary Jean Gabin, a precursor of the Hollywood film noir, the classic inspired such filmmakers as Michael Curtiz (Casablanca, ‘42), Carol Reed (The Third Man, ‘49) and even Jean-Pierre Melville (Bob le Flambeur, ‘56). PÉPÉ was such an international hit, producer Walter Wanger quickly released a near shot-by-shot remake in 1938, Algiers, directed by John Cromwell and starring Charles Boyer as Pepe and Hedy Lamarr in her first American role. That film earned four Oscar nominations, including Best Actor for Boyer and Best Supporting Actor for Gene Lockhart.

And lest we forget, the original and the remake also influenced animator Chuck Jones’ now pariah of a character, Pepe Le Pew, and a dreadful musical version Casbah (’48) with Tony Martin and Yvonne De Carlo.

PÉPÉ is also a prime example of the poetic realism style of French filmmaking popular in the late 1930s. Besides Duvivier, other directors known for this lyrical style include Jean Vigo, Marcel Carne and Jean Renoir. The male anti-hero characters who populated these films were doomed from the outset; they lived on the outskirts of society, as in Renoir’s The Lower Depths (’36); were members of the working class; or were criminals, as in the case of Pepe. These characters tragically think when they fall in love, they will break out of their cursed existence.  But women cause their emotional downfall, and romance usually ends in the death of the character.

Pépé is a powerful, charismatic master thief who is respected and feared in the Algerian district known as the Casbah. He rules over the crooked, mazelike area where he plans his latest heists. But he is also trapped there. He dreams of returning to Paris but knows that will never happen. The police are in wait at the edge of the city if he dares try to escape. Also lurking around him is the sleazy and manipulative Inspector Slimane (Lucas Gridoux). As soon as he meets a beautiful Parisienne woman Gaby (Mireille Balin), the mistress of a much older wealthy Frenchman, you know Pépé is doomed.

PÉPÉ LE MOKO wouldn’t have been the enduring masterpiece it is without Gabin, the Everyman superstar of French cinema. Film noir superstars from Humphrey Bogart to Dana Andrews to Robert Ryan owe a lot of their anti-hero personae to Gabin. The legendary film critic Andre Bazin once described him as “the tragic hero of contemporary cinema.”

He was also one of the best dressed – no rumbled fedoras or ill-fitting suits. Just check out those well-tailored suits, snappy shoes and ties Pépé wears. In his 2002 New York Times critical essay on the film, critic Elvis Mitchell wrote Gabin’s “expressive and sorrowful pudding of a face immediately gave a picture a soul. Gabin was the tropical opposite to the waxy screen idols whose sleek good looks often suggested the hood ornament of a Hispano-Suiza.” And in the case of PÉPÉ, “Gabin’s wary cool is the heart of this movie.”

Because Wanger didn’t want any competition with his remake, PÉPÉ LE MOKO wasn’t shown in the U.S until 1941. The New York Times’ Bosley Crowther described the film as an “incomparable advantage over the Hollywood-made imitation: it is raw edged, realistic and utterly frank exposition of a basically evil story …” Adding that Gabin’s “tough, unsentimental performance of the title role is much more credible and revealing than Charles Boyer’s sad-eyed mooning as Pepe in Algiers.”

Gabin, who was a song and dance man before he made films, was probably the biggest star in France when he made PÉPÉ LE MOKO and Renoir’s Grand Illusion, which was also released in 1937. He was sexy, tough and tender. He didn’t need dialogue to express his emotions, he literally wore his heart on his face. There’s an incredible scene near the end of PÉPÉ where he is determined to stop Gaby from leaving on a ship. He’s like a madman making his wave through the maze of the Casbah, and Duvivier’s herky-jerky back projection of the streets reflects his tormented emotional state.

“Director Jean Renoir used to say that the range of feelings Jean Gabin can show and express are limitless,” said Charles Zigman, author of the Gabin biography, Coolest Movie Star, in a 2008 L.A. Times interview. “The difference with other actors is he feels the feelings of his character. … He is the consummate Everyman. When you start watching his movies what you notice immediately is that he’s likeable. You feel like you have known him for a long time. He’s very real. He’s not putting on airs.”

Wanger initially wanted Gabin to reprise his Pépé for Algiers, but the notoriously difficult actor turned him down. Gabin did come to Hollywood in the early 1940s, making two disappointing films, Moontide (1942) and The Imposter (1944), and more headlines for his high-profile romance with Marlene Dietrich. He returned to France and joined Charles De Gaulle’s Free French Forces as a tank commander, winning medals for his bravery in Europe and North Africa.

But his absence from the screen didn’t make the moviegoers hearts grow fonder for Gabin. In fact, when he returned to acting grayer and more corpulent, he discovered he had been forgotten. He made several expensive films, including the dreadful Martin Roumagnac (‘46) with Dietrich and the Oscar-winning The Walls of Malapaga (’49), but even the latter film didn’t get him out of his slump.

But luck changed when he turned 50, starring as an aging gangster in Jacques Becker’s terrific noir, Touchez pas au grisbi (’54), for which he won the Volpi Cup at the Venice Film Festival. And the following year, he reunited with Renoir for the delightful Technicolor hit French Cancan. And he never stopped working. In fact, his last film, Holy Year (‘76), was released the year he died. Beloved by his legions of fans, Gabin had a true hero’s funeral with full military honors. And his ashes were scattered into the sea from a naval ship.

[artificialqueens]

Galactica, Chapter 74 (Group Fic) - TheDane/Veronica

A/N: Click here if you’re looking for previous chapters (or here if you’d rather read on AO3). 💫

Previously: Galactica shut down for the holidays, and Bianca turned Courtney’s shitty day around.

This Chapter: Christmas Eve. Fame plays hostess for Juju and Detox’s family, Bianca and Courtney jet off to Puerto Rico, Violet spends the evening with Sutan, Raja and Raven, and Pearl thirsts for Dahlia.

***

“Patrick?” Fame called over her shoulder, a big porcelain vase on the table in front of her.

“Yes darling?” Patrick was sitting in an armchair, his finger holding his place in the crime novel he was reading, Charles curled up on the floor in front of the crackling fireplace.

“What do you think of this?” Fame took a step back, showing off the greenhouse bouquet she had arranged, their gardener bringing them in after his rounds, snow covering the ground outside. “I was hoping they could be the centerpiece for tonight?”

They were upstate, in what Karl had jokingly started to call The Farm one summer. In reality, it was a mansion with several acres of land, the incredible garden the reason for the nickname, though Karl had insisted it was because upstate New York was basically Hicksville.

Fame and Patrick had bought it forever ago, the property supposed to be a real estate investment, but when they had visited it to oversee the remodel during the fall of the year they got it, Fame had fallen in love instantly.

She adored The Farm, loved the open land, loved the space that reminded her of her childhood’s free roam, loved that Charles had all the space in the world, the property so big that no one ever bothered them while they were there.

“I think that’s lovely dear,” Patrick smiled, taking a sip of the spiced eggnog the chef had made. “Juju’s going to love that.”

“Good.” Fame smiled, a moment of happiness washing over her body. Juju and Detox were coming up for Christmas, bringing their children along, the bedrooms already prepared for them.

When Detox and Juju had accepted her invitation to join them upstate, Fame had been overjoyed, spending the holiday with her friends instead of family so much more enjoyable, and best of all, it required absolutely no flying.

Unlike the Manhattan townhouse, The Farm was decorated in a traditional Christmas red and green, a fresh cut actual pine tree set up in the parlor, copious amounts of gifts for Kelly and the twins already under the tree.

“I’ll go check up on the chef.” Fame put down her garden shears, quickly drying her hands on her tea towel, collecting the scraps for the compost out back. “Make sure they’re cooking the Brussels sprouts correctly.”

The night's dinner was a wild lemon and honey salmon, a spinach salad with goat cheese and beets, the dessert spiced tea-poached pears for the adults and a sundae bar for the kids.

“And the mac and cheese?” Patrick raised an eyebrow.

“Of course,” Fame smiled. “I specifically instructed the chef to go for the mega size Kraft. The little ones should know it’s Christmas too.”

In reality, Fame had requested a complete restock of what Patrick lovingly called the kids cupboard, a whole section dedicated to the Sanderson kids, Kelly always going straight there the second she stepped foot inside. Just because she was a teenager who rarely attended family events anymore didn’t mean that Fame would forget about her.

“The sleds are ready to go too.”

Fame had never wanted kids of her own, but she loved and adored her entire chosen family, especially the little ones. Spoiling them had been one of her favorite pastimes since they’d met, when Kelly was still a chubby little baby with a passion for sticking jewelry into her mouth.

Today, she’d planned a lovely afternoon of fun in the snow for when everyone arrived. Fame had even bought a new snow set, the pure white Prada demanding to go home with her, her new mittens lined with rabbit fur so she could truly get down and dirty while building the snowman she hoped they had time for.

It was one of the most liberating things about The Farm, the acres of land meaning that there was a sense of privacy she could never feel in the city.

“And did you go for the wood?”

“Of course I went for the wooden sleds,” Fame rolled her eyes, Patrick so often playing stupid on purpose just to rile her up. “The antique German design.” There was no way Fame was going for anything but the best, and Julia and Owen deserved the best sledding experience money could buy, gourmet marshmallows and Jacques Torres hot chocolate already in the kitchen ready to go.

“Mmh?” Patrick smirked, taking another sip of his egg nog, and Fame went over to kiss him, just to wipe it off his face.

***

“Kelly Sanderson! Don’t you forget your scarf!”

“Yes mom,” Kelly rolled her eyes, but snatched her scarf, putting it around her neck before walking towards the house with her gym bag over her shoulder, and Juju couldn’t help but smile.

They were emptying out the car, the drive upstate a complete pain since she had been nauseous the entire time, Detox driving while Kelly was in the front seat, so Juju had been alone in the back with the twins because someone had to keep an eye on them, and Kelly refused.

“Okay champ,” Detox looked at his son who was still in the car, Julia standing on the snow-covered ground in her Frozen jacket. “I’m going to unbuckle you, but that doesn’t mean that you can-“

“Bye dad!!”

“Fuck!”

Juju laughed as Owen ran as fast as he could towards the front door, his sister right behind him.

“We got them!”

Juju turned to see Patrick call from the door, a big smile on the man's face, Fame right behind him.

“Your death wish!” Detox yelled, and Juju smiled before digging back in, her husband quickly gathering enough suitcases to make his first trip up to the house, Juju taking a moment to enjoy the blessed silence of private property upstate.

She fished her phone out of her handbag, a sense of relief washing over her when she saw that Bianca had texted. They had only spoken once last week, when Juju called her to apologize for the dinner party pile-on, and Bianca said it was okay, but she also seemed a bit rushed and distracted. Juju was hoping that it was just work, that she wasn’t genuinely mad, but she couldn’t be sure, especially since she hadn’t responded to any messages the night before. Looking at the messages today, though, it really did seem like they were good.

JUJU: Hey there. Thinking of you, hope you’re good.

JUJU: To be clear, I was thinking of you because I got up to take a very large dump.

JUJU: :-D

JUJU: Hehe

JUJU: <3

JUJU: OK goodnight! xo

JUJU: Merry Christmas Eve, lady! I love you.

BIANCA: Love you too, kiddo. Sorry for being MIA last night.

BIANCA: I’m taking Courtney to PR for Christmas, we’re heading to JFK right now.

BIANCA: Tell the monsters that I owe them some presents when I get back.

JUJU: Oh wow!! Have fun!!!! (And trust me, they will collect on those presents, lol)

She sighed, slipping the phone back into her bag, thinking that perhaps she should keep Bianca’s vacation plans under wraps for now. She turned towards the house, watching Fame on her knee, unlacing Julia’s shoes. Yes, better not to be the messenger for this particular news.

***

“So...is it everything you imagined?” Bianca asked, a wry grin on her face. She’d been a bit shocked when Courtney revealed in the car that she’d never flown first class before. She thought that surely someone as cute and charming as her had been slipped a free upgrade or two by a flight attendant trying to hit on her.

“It’s perfect.” Courtney tilted her champagne glass towards Bianca for a toast, her eyes taking on that slightly glazed, naughty look as she sipped on her third glass.

“Perfect, huh?” Bianca asked, clinking her glass lightly. “Then I guess you don’t want another present…”

“Wait, no...I do!” Courtney exclaimed, suddenly looking so serious that Bianca couldn’t hold back her cackling laughter.

Drunk Courtney was turning into one of her favorite people, the comically exaggerated faces she made when her defenses were down too cute for words.

“Oh, well in that case…” She reached into her bag and pulled out a box wrapped in sparkling pink and gold.

“How did you fit that in there?” Courtney asked, letting Bianca take her glass so that she had both hands free for the large gift, examining it closely. “Are you Mary Poppins?”

“Yeah, that’s me. A g-rated singing nanny.”

“Hot,” Courtney giggled, and Bianca gave her a stern look. “What, I like sexy nannies. Maria Von Trapp...Fran Fine?!”

“You’ve gotta be kidding me.” Bianca shook her head, amused.

“Oh no, am I being naughty? Are you gonna spank me?” Courtney’s eyes glittered.

Well, this was an unexpected turn. Perhaps something to explore when they weren’t flying thirty thousand feet over an ocean, surrounded by people.

“Open your present.”

“Yes, ma’am…” Courtney said, making Bianca laugh again as she tore into the package, first pulling off the excessive ribbons and bows (Joslyn really shouldn’t be trusted with that kind of thing) and then the glittery paper. She lifted the lid on the box, revealing 5 brand-new designer bathing suits, all from this year’s hottest resort collections. Her eyes lit up. “Ooooh, wow! This is much better than the plan I had.”

“What was your plan?”

“I was just gonna go without a suit,” she said, shrugging a bit as she fluttered her lashes.

“Huh.” Bianca’s brow furrowed in mock disappointment, adding, “Yeah, no, I like your plan better, give these back.”

She reached over and attempted to swipe the box from Courtney’s hand, but Courtney clutched it greedily to her chest.

“No! They’re mine now!”

Bianca laughed, leaning over to press a kiss to her cheek, just as Courtney grabbed her face and went right for her lips.

“Thank you, B. I love them. I love you.”

“I love you too, sunshine.” Bianca rested her forehead against Courtney’s with a happy sigh. “And I can’t wait to see you in them...or out of them.”

***

“Are you sure it’s okay that I���m not helping?” Violet asked. She was sitting on a silver bar stool and feeling absolutely useless, her fingers drumming on the marble breakfast bar.

Raja and Raven’s apartment looked like something from a catalog, big art pieces hung everywhere, fresh flowers in vases even though it was December. Violet had spotted the heavy oak Raja preferred, and the green and gold she gravitated towards, but it was clear that Raven was the main decorator.

“Of course,” Raven smiled, flashing her teeth over her shoulder. She was standing at the counter, filling up the sink so she could rinse off their dishes.

“Let her have the fantasy,” Sutan grinned, putting the empty tray he was carrying down, Raja right behind him. “This is the one time of year Raven pretends she’s the perfect housewife,”

“Fuck off.” Raven flipped him off, “I’m always perfect.”

When Sutan had told Violet he usually spent Christmas Eve with his sister and Raven, Violet hadn't been surprised. What had surprised her was when Sutan told her that Raven insisted on cooking every year. It had been a simple meal, roasted chicken and potatoes with gravy, but it did really seem like Raven had made it herself, Raja in charge of buying the dessert.

It was the first time Violet had celebrated Christmas Eve with anyone since she was 17, and while it was very different from what she usually did, which was wine and a movie, it was nice.

“You are, Princess,” Raja smiled, pressing a quick kiss against her hair as she dropped their dishes. “Now, does anyone want another drink?”

“Me,” Raven grinned, and Violet had to fight not to show the surprise on her face when Raven just grabbed the dirty dishes. She had never thought Raven would be someone who did chores, who’d willingly get her hands dirty.

“I’m driving tomorrow, so no,” Sutan was leaning against the counter, a smile on his lips. He was wearing a blue turtleneck sweater, and Violet had to admit that he looked stupidly hot in it.

“Actually…” Sutan paused, narrowing his eyes. “Raven, what’s going on with your nose?”

“Her nose?” Raja tilted her head, looking at her fiancée. “What do you mean?”

“It looks different. There.” Sutan pointed with his pinky at the edge of her nose.

“She seems normal to me.”

“Can’t you see it? Here, I’ll adjust- Let me push her head back.“ Sutan was just about to reach for Raven’s chin, when he was cut off.

“Hey!” Raven pulled away, “Crazy agent, I’m in the room.” She raised an eyebrow, her tone sharp, “I’m trying a new makeup technique.” Raven pushed Susn’s hand away from her face. “Is that a problem?”

“Of course not…”

“Good,” Raven rolled her eyes. “Now can we please get this done so we can watch a movie?”

“Sure.” Sutan rolled his eyes too, grabbing a dish towel before bumping his hip against Raven, making her yelp, laughter filling the room.

Violet let out a breath of relief she hadn’t even realized she had been holding, the knot in her stomach slowly releasing. She was probably overreacting, a childhood of tense Christmases just under her skin, but it had almost felt like Raven and Sutan were about to get in a fight.

Violet took her glass, a smile on her face as she took a sip of her wine, the uncomfortable feeling thankfully already fading.

***

Earlier, Courtney had enjoyed a healthy buzz from all the first class champagne, but then she fell asleep for half of the flight, and by the time they got to the resort, she felt refreshingly, deliciously sober, closing her eyes to feel the warm, fragrant ocean breeze blow in through the windows.

As Bianca directed the hotel staff with their suitcases, Courtney wandered over to the glass doors, eyes widening when she peered out at the terrace.

“B! Omigod, is this an infinity pool?” She threw open the doors and stepped outside, where a table was set up with a romantic, candlelit dinner. But even better, what was clearly a private infinity pool, which made her so excited she squealed with glee. “I’ve seen pictures of those but I never thought I’d see one in person!”

Bianca appeared in the doorway, a smirk on her face as she replied, “It’s not an infinity pool. It’s an infinity hot tub. The pool is down those steps.”

Courtney giggled, already slipping off her shoes to feel the heavenly warm water. She sat down at the edge of the hot tub, letting her legs dangle into the water while she gazed out at the gorgeous view, the gentle waves under a night sky sparkling with stars. When she mused last week about wanting to go to the beach, she certainly wasn’t imagining a private beach at this posh resort. But for once, everything in her life had worked out perfectly. All because of Bianca, who was now chatting with the hotel manager about their meal.

“Es esta la comida? Todo es vegano, verdad?”

“Si, of course. I hope everything is to your liking, Señora.”

“Es perfecto. Gracias.” She pressed some bills into his hand, adding, “Feliz Navidad!”

As soon as he left, Bianca turned back to Courtney, head tilting curiously when she took in her enraptured expression. “What?”

“I just think it’s sexy when you speak Spanish,” Courtney explained, biting her lip.

“Oh yeah? That’s what gets you going? My shitty high school Spanish?” Bianca asked, strolling towards her, dimples deep in her cheeks.

“Uh huh. I like the accent. Say more things…” Courtney leaned back, lashes fluttering, as Bianca laughed and pretended to think real hard.

“Hmm…” She settled in beside Courtney at the edge of the hot tub, slipping an arm around her waist and pressing a kiss to her shoulder. “Dónde está la biblioteca?”

“Ahh, yeah, that’s it,” Courtney growled, and Bianca laughed some more.

“Tu eres una gringa loca…”

“Uh huh…wait, what does that mean?”

“It means you’re a crazy white girl.”

“Oh. Yeah, fair.” Courtney cupped Bianca’s face in her hands, pulling her in for a kiss. Things were just starting to get a little heated when Courtney’s phone began to ring. She had a brief moment of panic before realizing that it was her personal phone, not her work phone. And since very few people made phone calls anymore, she was fairly certain that it would be her parents.

Coming out to her parents had been strange. She knew already, from how they reacted to Ben’s coming out when he was just 13, that they would be fine with her not being straight. But Ben hadn’t been dating someone nearly 20 years his senior.

So she was nervous, more than she’d have admitted, when she finally told them everything that was going on in her life--that she was dating, or rather in love with, a woman.

A woman who was, incidentally, a famous fashion magazine editor many years older than her.

Turned out, it was even more of an anticlimax than she anticipated, Mum giving her some bland platitudes about how love is love and Dad telling her to make sure she takes her vitamin D.

Which at first seemed like an innuendo, but actually was just him being his usual health-conscious self. Either way, they seemed both unsurprised and unbothered by the whole situation, which was a relief, she supposed. It was strangely reminiscent of when she was 16 and she’d announced that she wanted to graduate from high school early and go to America for University. Measured, unemotional support.

Courtney reached for her bag, pulling out the phone and answering, her family’s face popping up on the screen as she tried to figure out the time difference. It must already be Christmas morning in Brisbane.

“Hi, Mum! Happy Christmas!”

“Hello darling!” her mother cooed, elbowing Dad and Ben on either side of her, who she’d clearly forced into position, sitting on the sofa with the Christmas tree behind them, the picture of suburban bliss. “Happy Christmas!”

“Happy Christmas, love!” said Dad, pretending that he wasn’t thoroughly engrossed in whatever crime novel Courtney could see open on his lap.

Mum poked Ben again with her sharp elbow, and he scoffed.

“Yeah, yeah. Happy Christmas. How’s your rich girlfriend?” Ben asked.

“Great. How’s single life?” Courtney shot back, and Ben opened his mouth in mock offense.

“You fuckin’ cunt-”

“What was that, dickhead-”

“Kids!” Mum interrupted, putting on her best scolding voice as Courtney and Ben both broke out into giggles.

“She knows I’m kidding, Mum. Calm down.”

“I’m perfectly calm,” Mum said, rolling her eyes. “I’m just trying to have a pleasant conversation with my daughter, thanks very much.”

“Thanks Mum,” Courtney said, kicking her feet in the warm water. “It’s fine, though. It wouldn’t be Ben if he wasn’t giving me shit.”

“That’s called love, ya slag! Appreciate it!” Ben cut in, and Courtney blew him a kiss.

“Well darling, we just want you to know that we miss you terribly, but we’re so happy that you’re having a nice vacation. Right?”

“So happy,” Ben echoed, sticking out his tongue.

“And we’ve been talking about it, and-” she patted Dad on the thigh, then hit him harder when he didn’t say anything.

“Oh, yes. Ahem. We’ve been talking about planning a trip to New York next year,” Dad said. “How does that sound?”

“That sounds fantastic!” Courtney exclaimed. She hadn’t seen any of them since a quick trip to Australia last spring, before she moved to New York.

Bianca sat down beside her again, silently handing over a glass filled with ice and some kind of milky liquid along with a sexy wink, just out of camera range.

“Guys, check out the view!” While her family exclaimed over how beautiful it was, Courtney took a small sip of the drink, eyes widening with delight. “Omigod, this is like Bailey’s but better. Cheers!”

“Cheers,” Bianca murmured back.

“Hi, Bianca!” Mum called loudly. “Thank you for the wine!”

Apparently, Bianca had sent a whole case of high-end wine to her family home--and even signed both of their names on the card, although her family knew for damn sure that wasn’t something Courtney could afford.

“Um...hi. You’re welcome,” Bianca grinned, giving a quick, friendly wave and then leaning back out of frame, tilting her head towards the table with their food. Courtney nodded, reaching over to squeeze her thigh.

“Mum, thanks for calling. But we should go, we have dinner here and it’s getting cold.”

“Alright my love,” Mum said, smiling warmly. “Have a wonderful night. So long, Bianca!”

“Bye, Mrs. Jenek. Merry Christmas,” Bianca said, and Courtney giggled behind her hand.

“Mrs. Jenek…” she snickered, and Bianca grimaced, then put a hand on her hip.

“Well...shut up, I’m from the South. That’s just what we do.”

“You could at least say ‘doctor.’ She has a Ph.D.”

Bianca facepalmed, and Courtney laughed again, kissing her on the cheek. It was adorable how much she cared about making a good impression on Courtney’s family. “I’m just kidding, she doesn’t care about that stuff.”

“I care, though.”

“I know.” Courtney nuzzled into Bianca’s face. “And I love you for it.”

***

“Hey! I saw that!” Trixie gasped, pointing at Kim, who had just skipped a square on the Monopoly board.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Kim smirked, leaving her car piece as she took another cookie.

They were all gathered around the coffee table, mugs of hot cocoa and Katya’s Christmas cookies on plates, a crackling fire playing on the TV, music playing from the speakers.

“You’re cheating,” Trixie looked around. “Say something!”

“I didn’t see anything, sugar butt,” Katya smiled, her knitting needles in hand. She was weirdly good at Monopoly, Katya dominating the majority of the board. When Trixie had asked her how, and what her strategy was, Katya had simply grinned and told him it was simply how it was done in Soviet Russia.

“Pearl, what about you?”

“What?” Pearl looked up from her phone. “Oh. Sorry. No.”

“Who are you texting?”

Pearl smiled. “No one.”

“Not again,” Trixie groaned, not even interested in whatever girl had managed to capture his best friend’s attention for more than two seconds. “Pearl please. It’s Christmas.”

“Relax Trix,” Pearl grinned, leaning over so she could press a kiss against his cheek. “You’re the only one for me.”

***

PEARL: Was just thinking about you...so I thought I’d say hey ;)

DAHLIA: Oh yeah?

PEARL: Uh huh

DAHLIA: What were you thinking about?

PEARL: Mostly I was hoping to be suffocated by your thighs real soon.

PEARL: Your thighs are the stuff of dreams

DAHLIA: Right now, my thighs are stuck to the plastic cover on my grandma’s couch...but thanks.

PEARL: Hot

DAHLIA: Lol

PEARL: Can I tempt you to sneak away at some point in the next few days? Without pissing off the fam, of course

DAHLIA: Possibly...I have like 40 cousins, so no one would even notice I’d gone

PEARL: Fan fucking tastic

PEARL: Hey guess what?

DAHLIA: You’re horny and wanna fuck?

PEARL: Yes

DAHLIA: Patience, darling

PEARL: But also...it’s midnight. Merry Christmas.

DAHLIA: Shit, I missed mass again!

DAHLIA: For the 7th year in a row!

PEARL: Hahaha

PEARL: Oh god. My roommates are singing happy birthday to Jesus.

PEARL: With a fucking cake and candles

DAHLIA: LOL, HBDJ

***

[haitiqbohio]

Haitian President Jean-Pierre Boyer receiving Charles X’s decree recognizing Haitian independence on July 11, 1825. Credit: Bibliotheque Nationale de France.

When France Extorted Haiti – the Greatest Heist in History

In the 19th century, the thinking went that the former enslavers of the Haitian people needed to be compensated, rather than the other way around.

The Conversation   Marlene Daut

In the wake of George Floyd’s killing, there have been calls for defunding police departments and demands for the removal of statues. The issue of reparations for slavery has also resurfaced.

Much of the reparations debate has revolved around whether the United States and the United Kingdom should finally compensate some of their citizens for the economic and social costs of slavery that still linger today.  

But to me, there’s never been a more clear-cut case for reparations than that of Haiti.    

I’m a specialist on colonialism and slavery, and what France did to the Haitian people after the Haitian Revolution is a particularly notorious examples of colonial theft. France instituted slavery on the island in the 17th century, but, in the late 18th century, the enslaved population rebelled and eventually declared independence. Yet, somehow, in the 19th century, the thinking went that the former enslavers of the Haitian people needed to be compensated, rather than the other way around.

Just as the legacy of slavery in the United States has created a gross economic disparity between Black and white Americans, the tax on its freedom that France forced Haiti to pay – referred to as an “indemnity” at the time – severely damaged the newly independent country’s ability to prosper.    

The Cost of Independence

Haiti officially declared its independence from France in 1804. In October 1806, the country was split into two, with Alexandre Pétion ruling in the south and Henry Christophe ruling in the north.

Despite the fact that both of Haiti’s rulers were veterans of the Haitian Revolution, the French had never quite given up on reconquering their former colony.

 In 1814 King Louis XVIII, who had helped overthrow Napoléon earlier that year, sent three commissioners to Haiti to assess the willingness of the country’s rulers to surrender. Christophe, having made himself a king in 1811, remained obstinate in the face of France’s exposed plan to bring back slavery. Threatening war, the most prominent member of Christophe’s cabinet, Baron de Vastey, insisted,“ Our independence will be guaranteed by the tips of our bayonets!”

In contrast, Pétion, the ruler of the south, was willing to negotiate, hoping that the country might be able to pay France for recognition of its independence.    

 In 1803, Napoléon had sold Louisiana to the United States for 15 million francs. Using this number as his compass, Pétion proposed paying the same amount. Unwilling to compromise with those he viewed as “runaway slaves,” Louis XVIII rejected the offer.

 Pétion died suddenly in 1818, but Jean-Pierre Boyer, his successor, kept up the negotiations. Talks, however, continued to stall due to Christophe’s stubborn opposition.

  “Any indemnification of the ex-colonists,” Christophe’s government stated, was “inadmissible.”

Once Christophe died in October 1820, Boyer was able to reunify the two sides of the country. However, even with the obstacle of Christophe gone, Boyer repeatedly failed to successfully negotiate France’s recognition of independence. Determined to gain at least suzerainty over the island – which would have made Haiti a protectorate of France – Louis XVIII’s successor, Charles X, rebuked the two commissioners Boyer sent to Paris in 1824 to try to negotiate an indemnity in exchange for recognition.

On April 17, 1825, the French king suddenly changed his mind. He issued a decree stating France would recognize Haitian independence but only at the price of 150 million francs – or 10 times the amount the U.S. had paid for the Louisiana territory. The sum was meant to compensate the French colonists for their lost revenues from slavery.

Baron de Mackau, whom Charles X sent to deliver the ordinance, arrived in Haiti in July, accompanied by a squadron of 14 brigs of war carrying more than 500 cannons.

Rejection of the ordinance almost certainly meant war. This was not diplomacy. It was extortion.

 With the threat of violence looming, on July 11, 1825, Boyer signed the fatal document, which stated, “The present inhabitants of the French part of St. Domingue shall pay … in five equal installments … the sum of 150,000,000 francs, destined to indemnify the former colonists.”    

French Prosperity Built on Haitian Poverty

Newspaper articles from the period reveal that the French king knew the Haitian government was hardly capable of making these payments, as the total was more than 10 times Haiti’s annual budget. The rest of the world seemed to agree that the amount was absurd. One British journalist noted that the “enormous price” constituted a “sum which few states in Europe could bear to sacrifice.”    

Forced to borrow 30 million francs from French banks to make the first two payments, it was hardly a surprise to anyone when Haiti defaulted soon thereafter. Still, the new French king sent another expedition in 1838 with 12 warships to force the Haitian president’s hand. The 1838 revision, inaccurately labeled “Traité d’Amitié” – or “Treaty of Friendship” – reduced the outstanding amount owed to 60 million francs, but the Haitian government was once again ordered to take out crushing loans to pay the balance.

Although the colonists claimed that the indemnity would only cover one-twelfth the value of their lost properties, including the people they claimed as their slaves, the total amount of 90 million francs was actually five times France’s annual budget.

The Haitian people suffered the brunt of the consequences of France’s theft. Boyer levied draconian taxes in order to pay back the loans. And while Christophe had been busy developing a national school system during his reign, under Boyer, and all subsequent presidents, such projects had to be put on hold. Moreover, researchers have found that the independence debt and the resulting drain on the Haitian treasury were directly responsible not only for the underfunding of education in 20th-century Haiti, but also lack of health care and the country’s inability to develop public infrastructure.

Contemporary assessments, furthermore, reveal that with the interest from all the loans, which were not completely paid off until 1947, Haitians ended up paying more than twice the value of the colonists’ claims. Recognizing the gravity of this scandal, French economist Thomas Piketty acknowledged that France should repay at least US$28 billion to Haiti in restitution.    

A Debt That’s Both Moral and Material

Former French presidents, from Jacques Chirac, to Nicolas Sarkozy, to François Hollande, have a history of punishing, skirting or downplaying Haitian demands for recompense.

 In May 2015, when French President François Hollande became only France’s second head of state to visit Haiti, he admitted that his country needed to “settle the debt.” Later, realizing he had unwittingly provided fuel for the legal claims already prepared by attorney Ira Kurzban on behalf of the Haitian people – former Haitian President Jean-Bertrand Aristide had demanded formal recompense in 2002 – Hollande clarified that he meant France’s debt was merely “moral.”

 To deny that the consequences of slavery were also material is to deny French history itself. France belatedly abolished slavery in 1848 in its remaining colonies of Martinique, Guadeloupe, Réunion and French Guyana, which are still territories of France today. Afterwards, the French government demonstrated once again its understanding of slavery’s relationship to economics when it took it upon itself to financially compensate the former “owners” of enslaved people.

The resulting racial wealth gap is no metaphor. In metropolitan France 14.1% of the population lives below the poverty line. In Martinique and Guadeloupe, in contrast, where more than 80% of the population is of African descent, the poverty rates are 38% and 46%, respectively. The poverty rate in Haiti is even more dire at 59%. And whereas the median annual income of a French family is $31,112, it’s only $450 for a Haitian family.  

These discrepancies are the concrete consequence of stolen labor from generations of Africans and their descendants. And because the indemnity Haiti paid to France is the first and only time a formerly enslaved people were forced to compensate those who had once enslaved them, Haiti should be at the center of the global movement for reparations.    

Marlene Daut is Professor of African Diaspora Studies at the University of Virginia.

https://getpocket.com/explore/item/when-france-extorted-haiti-the-greatest-heist-in-history?utm_source=pocket-newtab

[bcrtonarrcws]

Meta: Claire's relationship with Barney

              HELLO, HI, YOU HAVE JUST UNLOCKED AN ESSAY THAT IS PROBABLY JUST A LITTLE TOO LONG, if I do say so myself and given that I wrote it, I would say you should listen.

 Anyway, the Bartons are actually my favorite comic siblings to ever exist – probably actually my two favorite comic characters ever ever. Their relationship is so dysfunctional and a little broken, yet held together by shitty guardians and a rough childhood. It’s kinda beautiful, how after everything that happened to each other, they’re still close?? Like they trust each other, tease each other, they have each other’s back?? The relationship between Clint and Barney is truly one of my favorite representations of a pair of siblings who didn’t have the easiest life, mainly because, like without the superhero nonsense, their relationship is actually very similar to my own relationship with my siblings – a severely messed up ride or die that might end with one of us killing each other.

Yet, this question is what does Barney’s and Claire’s relationship look like, not Barney’s and Clint, which despite how little it would change, does change some things. To figure out what it changes though, I’d like to head to what their relationship is like, in canon, for me. I know that the fandom has it’s own view of Barney Barton – I don’t agree with it nor particularly like it, so it’s probably best if I explain how I look at their relationship.

So Barney Barton, born Charles Bernard Barton, is the eldest of the two – no ages because this is the comics and characters can’t have canon ages ?? I guess it’ll break the suspension of disbelief but like shrugs – and he showed up in the comics in 1969, before this, he never existed. Of course this is during the age of the 60’s so most superheros didn’t really like have a life outside of the comics they were in so it’s not that big of a deal, but like still, Marvel just creates this character to be Clint’s brother, tells us he’s a racketeer that’s been on the Avenger’s radar for a while, and then kills him in the same issue, only revealing at the end that he was an undercover FBI agent.

(yeah, they gave Clint a family and then killed said family right away, sounds so similar, y’know kinda like the movie-verse which gave clint a family with very little characterization and then snapped them – no wonder I love Laura so much)

Anyway, later issues of Clint’s will explain that their parents were abusive, they died and Clint and Barney ran away from the orphanage they were in when they were like teenagers – this would be retconned to young teenagers, then implied to be younger as of the Hawkeye (2012) series, which puts Clint sleeping under the tents at age 9 (src), which could or could not imply them being their already - it’s whatever, like it’s just gonna get retconned again. Running away to the circus always puts strain on their relationship no matter what age they are though, mainly due to Clint receiving training from their mutual “father figure” Jacques DuQuesne and Barney becoming jealous; a completely and natural thing according to all child psych I’ve read, it creates an environment that allows one kid to be the “golden child” and the other to be the “scapegoat” – now of course, we don’t know much about the dynamics of their full childhood, Marvel hates sharing any information like that, but we can extrapolate a fair amount.

(also, just so everyone knows, this jealousy did not pave the way for their relationship in later comics, namely Blindspot. In that it’s very clearly stated that Barney was found by Egghead to still be slightly alive. He was then held onto, for nefarious reasons, in a healing chamber, until he was found by Baron Zemo years later who then manipulated Barney against his brother so that Baron Zemo could get his revenge against Clint Barton. I’ll say it again, Barney was used against his own brother by an evil guy who hated Clint because Clint slept with Zemo’s wife; that is where the “Cain and Abel” dynamic comes from – not childhood)

Back on the tangentially related topic I was writing about. This jealousy grows until Jacques DuQuesne leaves after Clint finds out about his illegal dealings ( though the all new hawkeye actually kinda, maybe, a little, I’m unsure, retcons this with Clint finding out about it much earlier, when he finds out about Jacques having Barney stealing from people and places and finds the hidden cache of a gun, money and some other things under Jacques’ bed??? I don’t know, I’m now a little confused if Jacques still fucks off thanks to that comic ) - of course, this is after Jacques chases Clint through the circus, cutting the high wire Clint tried to hide on. Barney tells Clint, while his brother is in the hospital (and in literally a comic that got retconned basically) that he should’ve kept his mouth shut and stuck by Jacques no matter what (can we say that that sounds like trauma?? because guess what, psych 101 says that that’s kinda sounding like trauma since Jacques was trash to these kids, like literally, fuck Jacques DuQuesne – all my friends hate him – he’s an interesting villain but fuck the whitewashing of his bullshit).

This doesn’t sour their relationship at all – no seriously, it doesn’t which uh shows that neither of them really take each other at face value anymore – and they go back to the circus, Clint heals up, starts working with Buck (a man currently being written out of the comics world which is a shame because he’s kinda important but kinda not) and then Barney decides he wants out. With Barney in the army, Clint continues down the crime street and well, now that we’ve got a bit of background (over 800 words of background), let’s get onto what their relationship is really like for Claire and Barney.

Simply put, like in the comic relationship with Clint and Barney, Barney is a protective older brother, he taught Claire how to fight and aim, how to patch up simple bruises and cuts, taught her to drink her first shot (at like age fourteen, but like what do you expect when that boy was drinking much younger???). He was her first teacher, her best teacher – yes their relationship got complicated; it’s Claire when isn’t her relationships complicated – but at the end of the day, he helped shape her into who she was.

Less simply put…

He is her everything—in all the P L A T O N I C (I’m emphasizing platonic because please don’t take this in the romantic sense, they’re fucked up but not like that; I am not Marvel, I don’t ship siblings and pretend that shit is fine.) sense of the word—he was her guardian when all the guardians around her failed to properly take care of her; he was her brother who teased her and made fun of her; he was her best friend who understood what she went through, the only other person who did; he taught her as much schooling as she would sit down and listen to, he taught her how to cook herself some basic food.

He was a father, a mother, a brother, a best friend, a moral compass – which is why when he went off to the Army, Claire found it a betrayal. She hated him for the time that he was gone, though she forgave him not long before she first shot him because she could understand that to him  (the little purple box in the third panel: Carnival of Death, of course this is how Barney would remember things) the circus was never a home, just another temporary place to stay. 

(btw this is “shooting barney” thing that is part of my main verse, is canon. Clint shot his brother, who was working undercover as a bodyguard, while Clint was breaking into a mansion with the aforementioned soon-to-be-retconned-I’m-sure-of-it Buck Chisholm, which led to Buck shooting Clint in the shoulder when he refused to leave his brother’s body and pinning him to a tree – I don’t quite recall how Clint got out of getting arrested, I’m pretty sure it never explained, but I’m rusty and not really up for pulling out some old comics to read up on) 

(I lied, here’s the comic strip: 1. 2. Clint “somehow” managed to get free, take his brother to the hospital and then leave??? yeah sure. )

Anyway, let’s get on with it. So if that was their relationship when they were younger, what is it like now?? Now that Claire has found a place – a sturdy, yet unsteady, comfortable, yet spartan, to call her own –

( and yes, this sounds angsty, but Clint has issues accepting that he is where he wants to be – Clint is always running, even when standing completely still. It’s a trauma response to his shitty childhood where they never stayed in one place for too long; even when their parents were alive, they moved from above the family butcher shop to the Barton farm. Barney had it too, but apparently a relationship helped with that (and okay, look I love Simone and Barney, but that part in All New Hawkeye rubbed me wrong as a fellow wandering child turned rootless adult; the guy needs therapy, not just a relationship – but then again, Barney Barton does not get agency or a personality outside of Clint Barton; his life must revolve around Clint Barton, even when he was on the Dark Avengers, it was about Clint – and yeah, they’re brothers, “two sides of the same coin”, and all that jazz but like I’ve got three sisters and a brother, I’m my own person at the end of the day – something Barney Barton cannot say, which means ending his story on the note of retirement and falling in love is just the best thing so they don’t have to keep finding a reason to try to remember that Clint has a brother   I’ll stop with the rant, I’m sorry.) )

   where does a man who no longer has to be a father, mother, brother, best friend, and moral compass stand when his sister has all that? Well, for the most part, he stands next to her – in my main verse at least. After he has come back wrong (Buffy much?), he finds his place standing beside his sister, no longer solely protecting her from the world (as he had always done because the world is not kind to lost little girls or boys), because he’s learned that she can, for the most part, protect herself, and Claire finds herself less on a lower standing (less of a burden in her eyes, less of a child in need of comfort) with her brother, but more like an equal, something that’s a bit of a new situation for the both of them.

In truth, Claire’s relationship with Barney is complicated and messy but it’s hers, and when you have something that’s complicated and messy, you have to figure it out, and that’s what, in my canon, she’s doing. Sure Barney isn’t around a lot - he’s got his own shit to figure out - but he’s her brother, and she loves him, and he loves her and they’re trying to get to a place where they don’t accidentally poke the trauma they’ve got and ruin a good thing. 

......

Okay, so like did any of this make sense??? I don’t know. I guess, to sum it up really quick, in my main verse - and most of my canon - I’d say Claire’s relationship with Barney is slightly yet not really awkward – it’s awkward because once upon a time, it was simple. Yet at the same time, it’s a really important relationship because Claire was shaped by her brother (and of course all those shitty adults because there are no good mentors in the Marvel world, not for kids at least).

Idk, this is really just me rambling. Like I should just state that tis is just Mun taking all the retcons that Marvel stuck her babies through and trying to make sense of them along with a healthy dose of a smattering of psychology shoved all about because unlike Marvel, I have no desire to ignore the C-PTSD/PTSD that seems to follow both boys around thanks to their childhood – of course this crazy amount of words actually kinda ignores all the trauma they have as adults, but that’s a whole nother post for some other day

I also know that I carry some ~controversial ~ barney barton views - ie. he’s not a villain and that him and clint share a close relationship, that he isn’t dumb muscle (bitch got a 1350 SAT score with like minimal schooling, i’d like to see you do that) and that he wasn’t a shit older brother when they were kids - i’m not apologizing for them. not at all. i will never apologize for them. characters are more than one dimensional and if i gotta be the one to wade through all this vague ass bullshit to get those other two dimensions then i’m going to do just that, which i have done. 

plus it doesn’t even matter because through all the retcons clint and barney has gone through, this is what their relationship is; a fucked up dysfunctional sibling relationship gone off the rails when Barney was brought back from the dead and manipulated/brainwashed into hating his brother. it eventually got better, how? we’ve got none of that, but it did and and at the end of the day, as clint said:

[44four]

185 RARE BOOKS ON WITCHCRAFT, GHOSTS, OCCULT, DEMON, HYPNOTISM, ASTROLOGY ON DVD

THE LARGEST COLLECTION ON eBAY THE BEST RARE & OLD WITCHCRAFT, GHOSTS, OCCULT, DEMON, HYPNOTISM, ASTROLOGY, MAGIC & MORE BOOKS COLLECTIONOn EBAY On ONE DVD It is nearly impossible to find all these rare & old books in their original form and if found they would cost a fortune! ____________________ Great Collection Of Rare & Old WITCHCRAFT, GHOSTS, OCCULT, DEMON, HYPNOTISM, ASTROLOGY, MAGIC & MORE Great Reference Books. 185 Books in Total Contains thousands & thousands of pages of great Information about WITCHCRAFT, GHOSTS, OCCULT, DEMON, HYPNOTISM, ASTROLOGY & MAGIC and Much Much More. Many Information & Secrets Exposed Lots of Beautiful Illustrations. This DVD Contains the most comprehensive collection of Rare & Old Books on WITCHCRAFT, GHOSTS, OCCULT, DEMON, HYPNOTISM, ASTROLOGY, MAGIC & MOREon eBay. Many of these Rare books date back to the 1500s and early 1900s and all of their content is just as impressive today as it was then. All these Original Rare and Old Books have been professionally scanned in high quality, compiled and preserved forever in PDF format files on this One DVD data disc for your enjoyment You can READ, TRANSFER, COPY, CUT, PASTE, SAVE & ZOOM IN on any text, diagrams or illustrations. The pictures you see in this auction were taken from these PDF files These books can be read on your computer, laptop, tablet, smartphone, Kindle, ebook reader but will not work on regular DVD Players ***********************************The Complete List of The Books Titles A collection of rare and curious tracts on witchcraft and the second sight; with an original essay on witchcraft (1820)A confirmation and discovery of witchcraft, by Stearne, John (1973)A Manual of Cartomancy And Occult Divination, by Orient, Grand (1909)A Manual of cheirosophy by E. Heron-Allen (1885)A Manual of Occultism, by Sepharial (1914)A new and complete illustration of the celestial science of astrology or, The art of foretelling future events, by E. Sibly (1826)A Record of Psychic Experiences by G. F. Goener (1922)A short history of the Salem village witchcraft trials illustrated by a verbatim report of the trial of Mrs. Elizabeth Howe, by Perlry M.V.B (1911)A suggestive inquiry into the Hermetic mystery with a dissertation on the more celebrated of the alchemical philosophers (1918)A suggestive inquiry into the hermetic mystery with a dissertation on the more celebrated of the alchemical philosophers (1850)A system of magic or a History of the Black Art (1840)Advanced course in Yogi philosophy and oriental occultism, by Ramacharaka, Yogi (1905)Albumasar De magnis coniunctionibus, by Mandato expensis M. Sessa, per J. Pentium de Luecho, (1515)Allusions to witchcraft and other primitve beliefs in the Zoroastrian literature, Frachtenberg, Leo Joachim (1911)An encyclopaedia of occultism, by Spence, Lewis (1920)An historical, physiological and theological treatise of spirits, apparitions, witchcrafts, by Beaumont, John (1705)An history of magic, witchcraft, and animal magnetism, Volume 1, by Colquhoun, J. C. (John Campbell), (1851)An history of magic, witchcraft, and animal magnetism, Volume 2, by Colquhoun, J. C. (John Campbell), (1851)Ancient pagan and modern Christian symbolism, by Inman, Thomas (1922)Annals of witchcraft in New England and elsewhere in the United States, from their first settlement, by Drake, Samuel Gardner (1869)Architecture, mysticism and myth, by Lethaby, W. R. (William Richard), (1892)Ars Notoria - The Notory Art of Solomon, by Robert Turner (July 1999)Astrology, Its Technics And Ethics, by C. AQ. Libra (1917)Automatic or spirit writing, with other psychic experiences by S. A. Underwood (1896)Babylonian Magic And Sorcery, by Leonard W. King (1896)Book of knowledge - psychic facts by N Beighle (1911)Buckland's Complete Book of Witchcraft, by Raymond Buckland (1997)Cagliostro - The splendour and misery of a master of magic, by Trowbridge, W. R. H. (William Rutherford Hayes), (1910)Card Fortune Telling; a lucid treatise dealing with all the popular and more abstruse methods by C. Platt (1920)Cheiro's language of the hand complete practical work on the sciences and experience of Cheiro by L. Hamon (1900)Clairvoyance, by C.W Leadbeater, (1903)Clairvoyance, by Grumbine, J. C. F. (Jesse Charles Fremont), (1897)Clothed with the sun - being the book of the illuminations of Anna (Bonus) Kingsford, by Kingsford, Anna Bonus (1889)Daimonologia, or, A treatise of spirits Wherein several places of scripture are expounded (1723)Das Strassburger Würfelbuch von 1529 by A. A. W. Gotzer (1918)De Occulta Philosophia LOC 1533, by Agrippa von Nettesheim & Heinrich Cornelius, (1533)De Occulta Philosophia LOC 1533, by Agrippa von Nettesheim & Heinrich Cornelius, another copy (1533)Demonology and witchcraft - with especial reference to modern spiritualism, by Brown, Robert (1889)Demonology and Witchcraft, by Scott, Walter, Sir (1800)Descriptive mentality from the head, face and hand by H. W. Merton (1899)Dictionnaire des sciences occultes, by Collin de Plancy & J.-A.-S. (Jacques-Albin-Simon) (1860)Die Elemente der Kabbalah. Ubersetzungen, Erlauterungen und Abhandlungen, by Bischoff, Erich (1913)Divine Inspiration - Psychic research of the great beyond by J. W. Williams (1916)Dizionario di scienze occulte, by Pappalardo, Armando (1922)Everybody's astrology by M. Jensen (1922)Everybody's Book of Luck (1900)First lessons in palmistry by C. T. Gaffney (1897)Fortunes and dreams by A. Cielo (1917)Forty lessons in palmistry by J. Zancig (1914)Fragments of truth, by Ingalese, Richard & Ingalese, Isabella (1921)Gypsy sorcery and fortune telling, illustrated by numerous incantations, specimens of medical magic, anecdotes, and tales by C. G. Leland (1891)Heliocentric Astrology by H. W. Merton (1910)Henry Cornelius Agrippa's Fourth book of occult philosophy, and geomancy, by Petrus, de Abano (1655)Histoire des sciences occultes - depuis l'antiquité jusqu'à nos jours, by Debay, A. (Auguste), (1869)Hours with the ghosts, or, Nineteenth century witchcraft - Illustrated investigations into the phenomena of spiritualism and theosophy, by Evans, Henry Ridgely (1897)How to know people by their hands by J. Ranald (1938)Human animals, by Hamel, Frank (1915)Hypnotism, mesmerism and the new witchcraft, by Hart, Ernest Abraham (1896)Indian Palmistry by J.B. Dale (1895)Initiation, human and solar, by Bailey, Alice (1922)Innocent amusement, or the heiroglyphical fortune teller by Napoleon I (1832)Key to Palmistry by L. Williams (1902)King Philip's war, and Witchcraft in New England, by Hutchinson, Thomas (1890)Kirbye's original second-sight mystery and pretended clairvoyance exposed, by Kirbye, G. W. (1855)La magie et l'astrologie dans l'antiquité et au moyen âge by Maury, L.-F.-Alfred (Louis-Ferdinand-Alfred) (1864)Le clef des grands mystères, by Lévi, Éliphas (1861)Le ingeniose sorti, composte per Francesco Marcolini da Forli intitulate Giardino di pensieri by F. Marcolini (1550)Le plaisant iev dv dodechedron de fortune, non moins recreatif, que subtil & ingenieux. Renouuellé & changé de sa premiere edition by J. de Meun (1560)Le sabbat de sorciers, by Bourneville & Teinturier, E (1890)Les sciences physionomiques leur passé et leur présent by C. Godard (1908)Lessons in Astrology by J. Erickson (1898)Letters from the teacher (of the Order of the 15) by Rahmea & Curtiss, F. Homer (Frank Homer) (1909)Liber Null and the Psychonaut, by Pater J. Carroll (1978)Madame Zadkiel's Fortune teller and mirror of fate by J. Haney (1884)Magic and fetishism, by Haddon, Alfred C. (Alfred Cort), (1906)Magic and mystery - a popular history, by Thompson, Alfred (1894)Magic and religion, by Lang, Andrew (1901)Magic and witchcraft, by Moir, George (1852)Magic, black and white; charms and counter charms, by Davies, T. Witton (Thomas Witton) & De Laurence, L. W. (Lauron William), (1910)Magic, pretended miracles, and remarkable natural phenomena, by American Sunday School Union (1855)Magic, white and black; or, The science of finite and infinite life, by Hartmann, Franz, & De Laurence, L. W. (Lauron William), (1910)Manuel bibliographique des sciences psychiques ou occultes, Volume 1, by Caillet, Albert Louis (1912)Manuel bibliographique des sciences psychiques ou occultes, Volume 2, by Caillet, Albert Louis (1912)Mehemet Ali's Oriental Interpretation of Dreams by C. F. F. Kayser (1873)Mind reading, by Frazer, Persifor (1875)Modern magic, by Schele de Vere, M. (Maximilian), (1873)Mother Shipton's Gipsy fortune teller and dream book by H. J. Wehman (1890)Mysteries unveiled - the hoary past comes forward with astonishing messages for the prophetic future (1896)Napoleon's Oraculum and dream book. Containing the great oracle of human destiny by F. Tousey (1884)Narratives of sorcery and magic, from the most authentic sources, by Wright, Thomas (1852)Narratives of the witchcraft cases, 1648-1706, by Burr, George Lincoln (1914)Natural magick, by Porta, Giambattista della (1669)New light from the great pyramid, by Parsons, A. R. (Albert Ross), (1893)Notes on the history of witchcraft in Massachusettes, by Moore, George Henry (1883)Occult phenomena in the light of theology, by Wiesinger, Alois (1957)Occult science in India and among the ancients, with an account of their mystic initiations, and the history of spiritism, by Felt, Willard L. (1908)Pahlavi cartomalcy or card reading; a new and complete method adapted to the Pahlavi cards by L. V. Moulton (1904)Palmistry by G. H. Sweet (1886)Practical Astrology, by Comte C. de Daint-Germain (1901)Perin's science of palmistry; a complete and authentic treatise by C. L. Perin (1902)Philosophic chiromancy. Mysteries of the hand revealed and explained by R. A. Campbell (1879)Practical Astrology, by Comte C. de Daint-Germain (1901)Practical occultism, by Kenilworth, Walter Winston (1921)Practical palmistry - A treatise on chirosophy based upon actual experiences by H. Frith (1895)Practical Views on Psychic Phenomena by G. E. Wright (1920)Revelations of the hand by A. J. McIvor-Tyndall (1900)Salem witchcraft with an account of Salem village, and a history of opinions on witchcraft and kindred subjects, by Upham, Charles Wentworth (1867)Scientific occultism, a hypothetical basis of life, by Hatch, David Patterson (1905)Second sight explained - a complete exposition of clairvoyance or second sight, by Wicks, Frederick & Bishop, Washington Irving (1880)Secrets of the black art - a hand-book of magic, puzzles for parlour entertainments (1886)Simplified Scientific Astrology, by Heindel, Max (1919)Strange phenomena of New England in the seventeenth century, by Mather, Cotton (1846)Telling fortunes by cards; a symposium of the several ancient and modern methods as practiced by Arab seers and sibyls and the Romany Gypsies by C. B. Case (1916)The amber witch the most interesting trial for witchcraft ever known, by Meinhold, Wilhelm (1844)The astrologer of the nineteenth century, by Raphael, pseud & Anglicus, Merlinus, junior, Gent (1825)The Asuri-Kalpa - a witchcraft practice of the Atharva-Veda, by Magoun, H. W. (Herbert William), (1889)The Book of Black Magic, by (1910)The Book of Forbidden Knowledge, by Johnson Smith (No Date)The Book of the Goetia of Solomon the King, by Crowley, Aleister (1904)The canon - an exposition of the pagan mystery perpetuated in the Cabala as the rule of all the arts, by Stirling, William (1897)The consciousness of the atom, by Bailey, Alice (1922)The cradle of the twin giants, science and history, Volume 1, by Christmas, Henry (1849)The cradle of the twin giants, science and history, Volume 2, by Christmas, Henry (1849)The discoverie of witchcraft, by Scot, Reginald & Nicholson, Brinsley (1886)The discoverie of Witchcraft, by Scot Reginald - First Edition, (1584)The discovery of Witchcraft, by Scot Reginald, (1651)The doctrine and literature of the kabalah, by Waite, Arthur Edward (1902)The elements of astrology by L. D. Broughton (1898)The gates of knowledge with an additional chapter entitled Philosophy and theosophy, by Steiner, Rudolf & Gysi, Max (1912)The golden wheel dream-book and fortuneteller, containing an alphabetical list of dreams, and the lucky numbers they signify, by F. Fontaine (1862)The grammar of Palmistry by K. St. Hill (1893)The graven palm; a manual of the science of palmistry by A. Robinson (1911)The great secret, by Maeterlinck, Maurice (1922)The greater Key of Solomon, by Solomon, King of Israel; Mathers, S. L. MacGregor ; De Laurence, L. W. (Lauron William), (1914)The hand and its lines; a short treatise on palmistry by E. J. La Seer (1902)The history of magic, volume 1, by Ennemoser, Joseph (1854)The history of magic, volume 2, by Ennemoser, Joseph (1854)The History of Witchcraft And Demonology, by Montague_Summers (1926)The illustrated key to the tarot - the veil of divination (1916)The Kabbalah - its doctrines, development, and literature, by Ginsburg, Christian D. (Christian David), (1920)The Kabbala - the true science of light; an introduction to the philosophy and theosophy of the ancient sages, by Pancoast, S. (Seth), (1877)The Kybalion - a study of the hermetic philosophy of ancient Egypt and Greece, by Initiates, Three (1908)The language of the hand, being a concise exposition of the principles and practice of the art of reading the hand by H. Frith (1899)The magical ritual of the sanctum regnum, interpreted by the tarot trumps (1896)The Mirror Of Alchemy, by Roger Bacon, (No Date)The model book of dreams, fortune teller, and epitome of parlor entertainments by C. M. Ottley (1864)The mysteries of astrology, and the wonders of magic, by Roback, C. W. (Charles W.), (1854)The Mystic oracle, or, The complete fortune-teller and dream book by F. M. Lupton (1893)The Mystic Test Book, or The Magic of the Cards by O. H. Richmond (1919)The natural order of spirit - A psychic study and experience by L. C. Graves (1915)The new and complete fortune teller by I. A. M. Hafez (1816)The new black magic and the truth about the ouija-board, by Raupert, J. Godfrey (John Godfrey), (1919)The occult sciences the philosophy of magic, prodigies, and apparent miracles (Volume 1), by Salverte, Eusèbe & Thomson, Anthony Todd, (1847)The occult sciences the philosophy of magic, prodigies, and apparent miracles (Volume 2), by Salverte, Eusèbe & Thomson, Anthony Todd, (1847)The omnium-gatherum, or, The American fortune-teller by J. T. Yarrington (1872)The other world; or, Glimpses of the supernatural, Volume 1, by Lee, Frederick George (1875)The other world; or, Glimpses of the supernatural, Volume 2, by Lee, Frederick George (1875)The philosophy of fire, by Clymer, R. Swinburne (Reuben Swinburne), (1907)The philosophy of fire, by Clymer, R. Swinburne (Reuben Swinburne), (1920)The philosophy of witchcraft, by Mitchell, J. (John) & Dickie, John (1839)The possibility and reality of magick, sorcery, and witchcraft, demostrated, by Boulton, Richard (1722)The Salem witchcraft or The planchette mystery and Modern spiritualism ;by Stowe, Harriet Beecher (1886)The science of palmistry and its relations to astrology and phrenology by I. Smith (1901)The science of the hand by C. S. Arpentigny (1886)The Seaside Sibyl, or Leaves of Destiny (1882)The secrets of black arts, by I. & M. Ottenheimer (1900)The secret book of the black arts by H. Williams (1878)The secret doctrine in Israel - a study of the Zohar and its connections, by Waite, Arthur Edward (19--)The Shakesperean Oracle by J. C. Mills (1855)The sixth and seventh books of Moses - the wonderful magical and spirit arts of Moses and Aaron, by De Laurence, L. W. (Lauron William), (1910)The spherical basis of astrology by J. G. Dalton (1908)The superstitions of witchcraft, by Williams, Howard (1865)The tarot of the Bohemians, the most ancient book in the world for the exclusive use of initiates (1896)The Tarot, Mathers, S. L. MacGregorThe witch-cult in western Europe - a study in anthropology, by Murray, Margaret Alice (1921)The witches' dream book and fortune teller by H. J. Wehman (1885)The World of wonder - a record of things wonderful in nature, science, and art (1873)Three books of occult philosophy or magic, by Agrippa von Nettesheim; Heinrich Cornelius; Whitehead, Willis F; Morley, Henry, (1898)Witch Hill - a history of Salem witchcraft, including illustrative sketches of persons and places, by Mudge, Zachariah Atwell (1870)Witchcraft and medicine - 1484-1793, by Nemec, Jaroslav (1974)Witchcraft and superstitious record in the south-western district of Scotland, by Wood, John Maxwell (1911)Witchcraft in North Carolina, by Cross, Tom Peete (1919)Witchcraft of New England explained by modern spiritualism, by Putnam, Allen (1881)Witchcraft or The art of fortune-telling unveiled, by Pinchbeck, William Frederick (1805)Within the temple of Isis, by Wagner, Belle M (1899)Work and play annual of home amusements and social sports, by Milton Bradley & Co. 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[hopelesstvaddict]

ASOUE’S CONVOLUTED PLOT COMES TO ITS FINAL DENOUEMENT

It all led to this. With The Penultimate Peril, ASOUE manages to encompass all the ingredients that made its success - adults being incompetent, children being too bright for their own good, self-deriding humor and dry fourth wall-breaking, big emotional moments (good and bad), secret organizations and of course, how could it not end up in flames ? The Penultimate Peril sees the Baudelaires arriving at the Hotel Denouement, which again channels Wes Anderson - The Grand Budapest Hotel, anyone ? - along with Kit who of course, cannot go with them because the too rare adults who seem competent at what they’re doing cannot be too helpful. Otherwise, where is all the fun ? Kit explains that the concierge of the hotel are twins, Frank and Ernest (both played by Max Greenfield), with each one belonging to one side of VFD. The entire first part of this penultimate installment is dedicated to a funny and intriguing detective game where the three children try to discover who is the mysterious J.S who has summoned (almost) the entirety of VFD while balancing their interactions with the aforementioned concierges. Going up and down the immense hotel - a grandiloquent retro-chic styled set reminiscent of the luxurious Squalor appartment, only make it ten times bigger - yields hilarious situations such as the oblivious children asking ‘Are you Frank or Ernest ?’ and getting a simple ‘Yes’ as an answer, the darkly noir-ish giant clock which has nothing better than to utter the word ‘Wrong’ each time it rings, or the numerous returning guest stars.

Because yes, just like in the book, it seems all the people that the Baudelaire orphans ever encountered on their disastrous misadventures - everyone that managed to survive, that is - is somehow present in this hotel. If this sounds like a big reunion for a grand finale, that’s perhaps not too far-stretched because this two-parter actually works as a finale of some sort. In addition to Mr Poe (sans Mrs Poe, unfortunately), we are happy to reunite with Larry-Your-Waiter (Patrick Breen), still trying and failing to be helpful, Babs (Kerri Kenney-Silver), Vice Principal Nero (Roger Bart) - who himself introduces a seemingly random piece of information on the deeds of Prufrock Preparatory; of course, this show has taught us to never let anything slip past our attention and this late in the game, this cannot not be relevant to the rest of the story - and Jerome Squalor (Tony Hale), still bitter and completely afraid of his ex-wife (though he technically still refuses the validity of the ‘ex’). Originally, Sir (Don Johnson) and Charles (Rhys Darby) were also present; due to the actors’ unavailability, they were written out. Given how this whole event ends, it’s perhaps for the best but Jerome still undirectly mentions Charles, referring to he and himself as an item.

The whole guessing over the identity of J.S is compelling enough for those who like me, had forgotten the book. There are enough characters with the initials to fit the bill, chief among them the dearly departed Jacques Snicket (Nathan Fillion who unfortunately only appears in a photo). But Jacquelyn Scieszka, Jerome Squalor, Justice Strauss (Joan Cusack) or Julio Sham could also be candidates. The first part of the installment culminates in the ‘denouement’ of the J.S mystery as well as the Frank/Ernest question, introducing one last VFD member, fan-favorite Dewey Denouement, the triplet to Frank and Ernest (because in this series, everything works better in threes). It must be said that Max Greenfield does a great job in portraying the three brothers. The show makes the relationship between Dewey and Kit more explicit than it was in the books, which allows two things. First, a sense of shock and suspense, as the pair is seen kissing and we are made to believe we are seeing Ernest, the evil brother; second, it makes it that much harder to watch when another trusted ally is ripped away from the Baudelaires. Just like Olivia (Sara Rue) at the end of last season, Dewey meets an untimely death, only this time, Olaf is not (really) to blame. The scene in question, which caps off Part One, is beautifully framed as everything unravels for both the orphans and Olaf himself who finally alienates himself from Esme. Lucy Punch really nails the break-up scene and leave it to ASOUE to finish it off with a daddy joke. But it’s really the subsequent scene that follows which is the real highlight of this first part. As Olaf threatens to harpoon Dewey, Violet, Klaus and Sunny all place themselves in front of him and reason with him over the attempted murder. It’s really the culmination of the twisted relationship they reluctantly, unwittingly developed - no more running, no more hiding on the part of the children, and no more chasing them around on his account. The face-off could very well be amplified to epic levels. Instead, it is handled subtly, quietly and in a very soothing way. Olaf’s arc continues to evolve and we see the facade cracking further. The Man With A Beard But No Hair and The Woman With Hair But No Beard may play a villainous role in The Penultimate Peril but overall as characters, they are more like the Sugar Bowl, narrative devices used to propel their former pupil forward, rather than formidable adversaries on their own.

The scene ends with one of the most beautiful cinematography the series has achieved yet (in fact, the whole episode is aesthetically wonderful) with the dead Dewey floating above the secret underground library that no one knows the existence of, now that its owner is dead. But again, this is upstaged by the next scene, which reveals the long-suspected identity of a cab driver who offers the Baudelaires a ride to safety after the catastrophe they caused. This season, Patrick Warburton gets to interact with the rest of the cast as his Lemony meets for the first (and only) time the Baudelaires. While the scene is insignificant for the children themselves, present-day Lemony goes to great lengths to explain how this brief and failed meeting caused him regrets and prompted him to go on his investigation about the lives of the orphans, which is essentially the premise of the whole show.

The second part is dedicated to Olaf's trial in what could be a reference to the Seinfeld finale which staged a similar story for its own conclusion. With the show coming to an end, it finally brings satisfying answers as to the backstory of VFD and the fateful night at the opera that provoked the schism. After 23 episodes of obscure references and mentions, Beatrice (Morena Baccarin) finally makes an (instantly delightful) appearance. The flashback is compelling and while clearly a toned-down adaptation of what transpired in the books, it does work in terms of explaining what turned Olaf against the Baudelaire and Snicket families. Back in the present, the trial allows Olaf, the Baudelaires (in their iconic book outfits! I swear, the love and respect for the book material sometimes really amazes me) and Esme to shine as they each take the stand. The theme of morality comes back in full stance as Olaf turns the table on the children and forces them to admit that in surviving, they too have sometimes indulged in grey areas. It's an arc that played out for two seasons and seeing the Baudelaires finally come to terms with it is a good payoff.

This being the de-facto finale, the producers pack as much as they can and there are many references to the show's trademarks - Olaf is cut short in one of his musical numbers, several recurring phrases return - but not so much as character arcs closure. Larry is the only definite casualty of the episode - the death itself was (kind of) hilariously stupid and fitting for the character but it is a bit unnerving to really think about it and about the contrast it draws when Olaf later cannot bring himself to kill the Baudelaires - but the fates of the giant supporting cast is left dangling in the air as the episode comes to a fiery end. Olaf plans to poison the entirety of VFD with the Medusoid Mycelium but he needs the Sugar Bowl first. The Baudelaires convince him to burn the hotel instead, stemming from the logic that a fire will be slower than the poisonous fungus and will allow some to escape. That's unfortunately overestimating the capacity of reasonable logic from the adults in this show and we are treated with a delightful scene where the Baudelaires try to warn various characters of the danger only to be rebuffed; even when adults do believe them, there is nothing further they can do. And so we bid goodbye to Esme, Carmelita, Mr Poe and pretty much all who assembled at the hotel. The feeling is perhaps frustrating but that's exactly how it happened in the books and at this point, the story has worked itself enough to not make us care that much about the characters that are left behind. I must say that I have never seen fire depicted so strangely beautifully anywhere else. The visuals really defy the expectations I had when imagining those fires as I read them.

The Baudelaires sail off with Olaf with two more lessons; justice can be blind sometimes, courtesy of the Man With A Beard But No Hair and the Woman With Hair But No Beard, and sometimes you do fight fire with fire. In trying to prevent Olaf from mass-murdering an entire hotel, they have possibly achieved the same result. The fire thus destroys almost the entirety of VFD, both sides of the schism, all evidence that could damn Olaf and perhaps the Sugar Bowl which was dropped in the secret library. This could very well work as the final scenes of the series. So many things are now resolved. We know the backstory of VFD and now it does not exist anymore. We have searched and failed at finding the Sugar Bowl and now it doesn't exist anymore. We have tried to prove that Olaf is guilty and we have (kind of) but the proof does not exist anymore and we instead have come to the realization that the Baudelaires are not as pure as they want to appear. In terms of what this series was about, this is as close to full-circling as it can get and as good a sign that the end is near as the visual clues - none better than the opening scene from the season premiere where Lemony walks through the now-decaying underground tunnels. Present-day Lemony continues his monologues in those tunnels, repeating that for him, the story of the Baudelaires stops here as he lost all traces of them. Past Lemony is seen sharing a heartfelt moment with Beatrice which explains why he's been on the run all series long and features, for longtime fans, his iconic declaration of love, in a toned-down version of its original form as it appeared in The Beatrice Letters. (If you have nothing else to do, treat yourself to the entirety of it, you won't regret it. As Beatrice says, he 'always had a way with words'.)

To complete the many parallels harkening back to the beginnings, we are treated to a reprise of the song ‘That’s Not How The Story Goes’ while moments from the past seasons recap the unfortunate series of events that graced our screens for three years.

The Slippery Slope | The Grim Grotto | The Penultimate Peril | The End

[gellavonhamster]

thoughts on ASOUE Season 3

from someone who remembers the last four books (except for TGG) quite badly - I think I have to mention this at once. Overall I really enjoyed it, but to me, it was a season of bringing everything to the max - an expression which here means "some parts being absolutely perfect but some parts also being completely ruined". More detailed review under the cut.

Things I loved:

Acting. The main kids have developed into really good actors; their performances were outstanding. It is difficult for me to determine how much of Sunny is CGI and how much is actually Presley Smith, but she was as adorable as ever (I LOVED how sweet and pleased her face was when she suggested pushing Olaf overboard). Malina Weissman and Louis Hynes delivered a lot of emotional scenes and showed the inner conflicts faced by the Baudelaires perfectly (also, remember how we speculated about why the Baudelaire siblings never really cry on the show? Well, there was a lot of crying this season and I cried with them, too). The rest of the cast was also splendid. Kitana Turnbull is still nailing it as Carmelita, Lucy Punch is still an amazing Esme, Tony Hale is still a great Jerome. Neil Patrick Harris's performance this season included a number of heartfelt scenes I wouldn't even think the show version of Olaf capable of. Usman Ally's performance, together with additional character development, was more than I could ever wish for Fernald, one of my favourite characters. Really, everyone did great.

I agree with the review that said that in this season, children are finally not overshadowed by adults. The adult characters (Kit, Fernald, Lemony, Dewey) still get more to do than they did in the books, but they do not take up as much screentime as Jacques and Olivia or the Quagmire parents. It is truly the kids (the Baudelaires + Quigley + Fiona) who are in the focus. As it should be.

When I say that something in a book/film/show made me cry, it is often an exaggeration, but I literally wept when Sunny was persuading Violet to leave her in captivity as a spy. Especially when Sunny tied up her hair the way Violet does, and also when she showed that she learned to be brave from Violet. It is my favourite moment of the season.

Quigley. I can't say the Quagmires are my faves, but it's still a pity that the show made Duncan and Isadora (to my mind) pretty bland. Quigley feels like a much more fleshed-out, interesting character than both his siblings combined - brave, resourceful, but also a bit reckless. And he's the only Quagmire who has the right hairstyle (well, at least he looks very much like the Quagmire triplets in the illustrations for the translation I've read).

Fernald and Sunny shared the cutest moments of the season. Yet still - I thought that when Fernald threw the cage off the mountain, he knew it was empty, but even if he did not, it wouldn't be completely out of character for him to sacrifice something he cares about to win Olaf's respect. Loved the Cinderella parallel and how Fernald is a messed-up version of Sunny's fairy godmother. Also when he found out she was poisoned and took her in his arms T_T

The interaction between Fernald and Fiona was exactly what I hoped for, they're ride or die for each other since the very moment they're reunited

Jerome/Charles and Babs/Mrs Bass! I'm choosing to believe both Jerome and Babs survived the fire (I mean, Justice Strauss managed to escape, and she was on the freaking rooftop!) and reunited with their respective love interests. Here for the implication that Charles is now running the lumbermill on his own after Sir fled - maybe it will finally become a better place of employment.

I dreamed of Bea II and Lemony sharing root bear floats and I cannot believe I actually got to have this

Kit and Lemony having some scenes together!

The first shots of the Hotel Denouement... very pretty, very aesthetic 

I liked how it is shown that the Denouement brothers still care about one another despite their ideological differences (the way Frank and Ernest are both clearly grieving during the trial!). Another thing I liked was how at first they made it seem like Kit is dating the wicked brother. If I haven't read the books, that would've been a big "holy shit" moment.

The Man with a Beard but No Hair and the Woman with Hair but No Beard were properly menacing, and making their beard and hair essentially the same but upside down was brilliant. 

Some of the theories they chose to make true on the show are the ones that I believe to be true as well (e.g. Lemony being the taxi driver in TPP, The Man with a Beard and the Woman with Hair being Olaf's chaperones/guardians, Olaf and Esme having murdered Carmelita's parents).

Lemony carrying around photos of his siblings :(

When Violet closed Olaf's eyes, I cried again.

Things I hated:

I propose we all agree that Ish is lying about being the founder of VFD because he hasn't seen new faces in ages and finally there are some new castaways whom he can bullshit about being more important than he actually was and stroking his ego. It became clear a long time ago that the show doesn't give a damn about the canon timeline, but VFD being that recent does not make sense even in the Netflix-verse. What about so many VFD buildings, the underground repurposed as secret tunnels, the whole city being shaped like the VFD sign? It couldn't have happened that fast. What about Kit saying she hadn't learned to hang glide until she was seven? Does not sound like a regular thing to teach a child. Also it means that All the Wrong Questions cannot be adapted for the screen because then the Netflix-verse would contradict itself. The VFD was introduced as such a huge, omnipresent organization, and in the end it boiled down to, like, a group of too ambitious students letting their teacher fill their heads with nonsense The Secret History-style? Ridiculous.

The only things I liked about the opera flashback was how dashing everyone looked (I think this was Esme's best look in all three seasons) and how happy and careless and relaxed they were while Beatrice was singing. In all other respects it was a trainwreck. I am not upset that on the show it didn't happen when the characters were kids because I do not have a strong opinion on what age everyone was then, and because learning that your friends and your girlfriend killed your parents sounds like a traumatizing experience no matter the age. But that's the thing - on the show, it didn't go down like this. The horror of what happened was downplayed by reducing the number of victims to Olaf's father only, by not mentioning Kit's involvement at all and turning a premeditated murder into manslaughter. And where's Bertrand? Olaf blames both Baudelaires but we are shown that he saw Beatrice and Lemony with the darts. It isn't even implied that Bertrand made the darts himself for this purpose specifically because Esme has the same weapon. And how does it all tie with the masked ball scene in s2? Kit writes Lemony a note saying that "Olaf knows" - of course he does, he fucking saw them! Why did Esme have the sugar bowl with the antidote with her at the opera - was she just casually drinking tea with this rare and precious substance to overdose and gain superpowers? What about the sugar cubes left behind - was there also some regular sugar in the bowl to, idk, make it seem less suspicious? An absolute mess, in my opinion.

To continue the previous point: Bertrand seems like an absolutely unimportant figure, his role minimized to a minute or so on the island, and he deserves better :(

This is small in importance but I really disliked that Kit said that Violet ties up her hair just like her mother while in the books it was her father, no matter whether Kit meant Bertrand or Lemony =/

Also, like. Taking "or she!" from Fiona and giving it to Violet. Didn't like that. Neither did I like Fiona calling Phil Cookie.

IIRC they also gave "It's Herman Melville" to Kit instead of Klaus? Why

Larry was a recurring character who had a lot to do in s1 and 2, yet his death (and a horrible one, he was literally boiled alive) was presented in a quite an offhand way. I'm not saying he should've necessarily stayed alive - in fact, his death fits in very well with the motif of all decent adults eventually getting killed - but, in my view, it should've been given more weight.

As I've already mentioned, I don't remember The End that well, but everything about Ish and drugging the islanders seemed significantly less scary than in the books somehow

The shot of Duncan and Isadora was clearly copy-pasted from TVV... listen, if you're giving them a 100% happy ending, at least do not half-ass it

Things I have mixed feelings about:

I loved the Kitlaf stuff; probably showing that they were together in the opera flashback makes it less of a revelation than in the books, but I thought all their shared moments very moving. I also found it an interesting choice to make each of them recite bits from both poems, thus pointing out that Olaf once was not a stranger to love and romantic poetry and that Kit might share his ideas about "man hands on misery to man". However, I think it's a pity that Netflix eliminated all hints at Olaf possibly being Bea's father. Even if he was not, the possibility of it being true in the light of the Baudelaires still raising Bea with love and care is, to my mind, very important. 

Jacquelyn being R... well, we saw that coming. Her mother's death being so recent is another "fuck you" to the canon timeline, but at least it explains why in the previous two seasons nobody called her the duchess - officially, she wasn't one yet. I don't perceive the show as an extension of book canon - to me, it is just one interpretation among many - so this reveal hasn't changed the fact that I imagine R being different from Jacquelyn. On the one hand, I am happy that one of my favourite characters made it into the adaptation (yes, one of my favourite characters is a sum total of comments made by other characters and a possibly fake letter, what of it), but I would've preferred if her portrayal included more of what we know about her from the books, such as her being close to both Lemony and Beatrice.

By the time s3 aired, I had already reconciled myself to the fact that the show version of Kit will be extremely toned down, so this disappointment was expected and therefore not that strong. I think there were some moments in which she actually was more of her book version (recruiting kids to fulfil dangerous tasks like it's nothing special, telling Lemony he should return to VFD), but of course this definitely noble, action-hero, composed Kit who looks forward to becoming a mother and leading a quiet life with Dewie on some island (wait, did they mean the Island?) is significantly less interesting than morally grey and depressed Kit who took part in many dubious or outright sinister plans (such as the Anwhistle Aquatics fire and the murder of Olaf's parents, in which both she was not even involved on the show) and did not seem to care about her baby that much. It is truly ironic that Mr Poe repeatedly accidentally calls her Jacquelyn because show!Kit feels very much like a Jacquelyn 2.0.

My first impression of Fiona was "oh no, they really gave her all the flaws her stepfather had in the books". I ended up liking her because she worked on her behavior and most of the times she was rude it felt like she's just trying too hard to convince everyone, herself included, that she's got this while constantly being unsure and confused on the inside. But her weird rivalry with Violet still rubbed me the wrong way. I'm glad they resolved their issues in the end.

The sugar bowl containing the antidote is an okay choice (timeline inconsistencies aside), but 1) I would've preferred it to stay a mystery, like in the books; 2) I still like the "this bitch empty" theory more.

There was more of VFD being not entirely noble in this season (e.g. the Medusoid Mycelium) but of course it is still a very watered-down version of what this organization was like. 

Listen, I'd be lying if I said I hated the happy ending for the Quagmires and the Widdershins. Heck, my favourite post-The End headcanon is that they all (and Hector!) survived the Great Unknown and stuck together as one big family of choice. But what was the point of showing us the Bombinating Beast Great Unknown and, most importantly, having someone mention that it is a metaphor for death if it is not used as such? It is a metaphor, it does not necessarily mean that they literally died, it could just as well mean that the Baudelaires simply never learned what happened to all these people. A wasted opportunity.

I assume the Baudelaires never got separated from Bea in the adaptation (since she does not immediately ask Lemony about them but proceeds, on the contrary, to tell him what happened to them) and the reason she searched for Lemony was simply wishing to get to know her uncle. It's not bad, it fits well in the more optimistic narrative of the show, but the original story is still more interesting.

That's probably all - at least all that comes to my mind at the moment.

On the whole, I think Season 3 and the show in general were rather a good adaptation than a bad one. Most importantly, I think it succeeds in performing what I consider the main function of an adaptation - making the audience interested in the source material. I am sure more people will read ASOUE (and ATWQ, and other Snicketverse books) after watching the show. I am also sure those who will read after watching the show first have a big storm coming.

[beatricebidelaire]

this is a long, disorganized, pointless post 

opera night plot: horrible

opera night aesthetics: amazing

kit and esme smiling at each other: beautiful

beatrice and esme arguing and beatrice saying esme’s name and beatrice looking gorgeous: a work of art

opera night vfd just hanging out, also the complicated web of relationships between them: A+

barely any olaf and beatrice interactions: im bitter. extremely bitter

HEA confirmed for quagmires, widdershins,  the troupe: disappointed but not surprised

revealing what’s inside the sugar bowl: bad decision

quigley quagmire’s face after looking into the sugar bowl combined with what’s revealed to be inside: comedy gold

violet & klaus & sunny’s conversations in the end: stirred with my emotions a lot i felt too tired from crying now.  they’re .... i love them

ishmael saying he created vfd: wtf r u 900 year old or something

olaf when he’s talking to kit: he’s nostalgic and ... so am i. but i still don’t think that’s like love but more like they remind each other of a time before things go wrong. and i think that’s what i love. also i cried

beatrice and bertrand with the boat scene: what kind of gorgeousness is this. is it legal?????????????

klaus looking a lot like bertrand in the boat pushing scene: i cannot described how overwhelmed i am

bea jr: LOOKS LIKE KIT!!!!!!!!!! I’M!!!!!

bea jr and lemony drinking root beer floats: i cry

kit and lemony scenes in tpp: i should be more emotional but looking at the actors’ age differences kind of ruined it for me so im biased of the start. like if i remove myself from those feelings i guess i would enjoy the siblings angst.

kit asking quigley how fast he could swim: the snicket siblings ... i mean twins are really great at recruiting omg the way jacques did with olivia in s2 and the way kit said to the baudelaires “say you’ll volunteer” and they’re all super charmed and the way kit was with quigley. im just. they’re .... so good at this i want to write an essay about this and how also their little brother’s feelings vfd in contrast

lemony’s tiredness and sadness when he talked about being on the run for so many years but “at you’ll be safe” when klaus asked if it’s lonely: one of my favorite scenes. like .... patrick warburton really delivered this well

the parallel of lemony and violet talking about being on the run: i have Feelings

quigley’s quick agreeing to sunny’s spying, his talk about saving other children from becoming orphans, and the fact his actions are probably resulted from his own trauma: i have a lot of thoughts i don’t know how to articulate but someone should ... write something about this

sunny tying her hair up saying she’ll invent something and violet’s expression when sunny said that: im still not recovered from that whatkind of emotional attack on me is this

fernald and sunny’s conversations: on the one hand i like those on the other hand he’s just ... onloading his trauma onto a baby who’s life he helped traumatised. 

tpp court scene: i think it’s pretty cleverly adapted to accommodate to streaming television and i likethe way how they made the two other judges not be seen at the start. and also olaf’s way of manipulating the room the the baudelaires’ realization that everything’s going wrong.

hotel denouement: gorgeous

jerome and babs mlm/wlw solidarity: totally called it. also. good on charles for leaving sir.

duchess r: confirmed jacquelyn which is cool but barely even there at all and i’d wished we could’ve gotten beatrice/r the way i’d wished for jacques/jerome in s2 but got denied both and im feeling ... empty and sad

the baudelaires’ returned to briny beach and the rock: good parallels with s1

kit working for/with poe (i know she kept reiterating she doesn’t work for him, but thats not the point here): bad parallels with s1

tgg klaus/fiona: there several moments that i felt ...  i don’t like it but i guess it was from the books and its not like i thought they would take this out. so. violet and fiona has certain atwq!L/E vibes though and i ... enjoyed that

tgg kids solving the problems: i love this part quite a bit .... like the change about widdershins is, well, but like seeing them in crisis and solving troubles and brainstorming and i’m just!!!!

esme struggling to climbed through the exit while wearing that octopus costume: the image’s stuck into my mind

jerome squalor’s tongue when he said lumbermill: ..... also an image stuck to my mind

fernald and fiona interactions: fave

esme’s cleverness in tss: loveee it. like all the small details. it’s neat.

sunny baudelaire overall in tss: an icon. a queen. my favorite baby. i love her.

quigley has read lemony snicket’s tutorial on accordion: iconic

esme’s second worst thing she did in that hot tub: so ... what’s the first

olaf’s name taped over the boat covering the words beatrice underneath: unimportant detail no one else care about but since i got so little ex best friends content to go on i have to take what i can get

me not seeing olaf impersonating lemony: a pity

[allspark]

It’s time for our weekly Diamond Comics Shipping List! Check out some great titles IDW has in store for us next week like Transformers, My Little Pony, Spider-Man, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and more! All coming your way for May 29th!

TRANSFORMERS #6

Brian Ruckley (A/CVR B) Bethany McGuire-Smith (CVR A) Jack Lawrence

All your favorite Transformers characters as you’ve never seen them before! Optimus takes the spotlight! Even a bot as wise as a leader of the Autobots needs guidance now and again, so Optimus turns to Codexa-a Cybertronian who has grown into the very planet itself. Will she help Optimus settle his problems with Megatron or will she lead them both to ruin? Transformers-now shipping twice monthly!

AMBER BLAKE #3

Jade Lagardère (A/CVR) Butch Guice

Amber Blake is a woman on a mission. She’s going to destroy everyone who has hurt the people she loves. But not all is as it seems, and some of her allies have agendas of their own…

BATMAN THE ANIMATED SERIES ROGUES GALLERY

Sen-Foong Lim, Jessey Wright (A) Chris Fenoglio, Jack Lawrence, More (CVR) TableTaffy

Defeat the Batman to rule the city! Gotham City’s coffers are ripe for the robbing, but one thing stands in the way of the city’s supervillains-the reviled Batman. It’s time someone finally took out that nuisance! Choose your favorite villain, then go on crime sprees, steal powerful upgrades, recruit nefarious accomplices, and race to complete your master plan and be the first to defeat the World’s Greatest Detective!

3-5 players o Playable from ages 12+ o 30-45 minutes

•   Roll dice to go on crime sprees, collecting cash and avoiding capture. •   Purchase various gear and accomplice cards on the black market. •   Push your luck at the right moment to attract and defeat Batman.

DICK TRACY FOREVER #2

Michael Avon Oeming (A/CVR A) Michael Avon Oeming

Dick Tracy is Sisyphus, pushing the law boulder up the hill as he struggles for reason and order in a world with none. His attempts at law and order are met with crime and chaos, in the form of unpredictable and absurd villains. But Dick Tracy will never give up trying, no matter the era or incarnation. Join Eisner Award-winning creator Michael Avon Oeming on a startling case through time and space! Each issue has an exciting new take on one of the most iconic comic-strip heroes of all time!

FOUR SISTERS, VOL 02: HORTENSE

Cati Baur, Malika Ferdjoukh (A/CVR) Cati Baur

Second book in the series! Since the deaths of their parents, Hortense and her sisters have been on their own. Winter arrives, and, as the world is buried in snow, eleven-year-old Hortense buries her life in books. She wonders what she will become: a character in her favorite show? A surgeon of incurable diseases so she can save her new friend Muguette? Or world famous actress? But to go onstage, Hortense would have to overcome her shyness, which seems unlikely for a girl who’d rather write in her diary than express her feelings out loud. It’s in her diary where she exposes her innermost thoughts and shares the ups and downs of her life as a girl and a sister.

JUDGE DREDD TOXIC TP

Paul Jenkins (A) Marco Castiello (CVR) Mark Buckingham

Advance solicited for June release! Dredd’s investigation into the death of a seemingly unremarkable sewage worker spirals into a waste management crisis that could destroy all of Mega-City One, which has long used genetic modification on its waste workers to control the deluge of filth that flows under the city each days. When Dredd discovers that some of them have foregone that disfiguring procedure in favor of hosting protective alien symbiotes, it sparks a groundswell of anti-immigration fervor. Soon the toxic atmosphere spills into the streets, undermining the very infrastructure that makes the city tolerable. Can Dredd find a solution to save the now-indispensable aliens from the angry mobs? A perfect mix of satire and social commentary!

LIFE ON THE MOON HC

Robert Grossman (A/CVR) Robert Grossman

From an artist who reveled in illustrating “the un-illustratable,” a historical graphic novel based on the “Great Moon Hoax,” the most successful newspaper hoax ever. In 1835, New York newspaper The Sun published a series of six articles declaring the discovery of life-and even civilization–on the Moon, which the paper attributed to the famous contemporary astronomer Sir John Herschel. According to The Sun, the lunar inhabitants included unicorns, bison, bipedal tail-less beavers, and intelligent humanoids with bat-like wings.

Life on the Moon is a full-length graphic novel capturing this mythical world. Creator Robert Grossman said the book is set in a time when “many of the signal achievements of the 19th Century still lay well in the future, Andrew Jackson was president, the steamboat was the summit of technology, and news traveled slowly.” The unfettered novel includes real historical figures such as P.T. Barnum, Jean Jacques Audubon, Lorenzo Da Ponte, Charles Goodyear, and Edgar Allan Poe.

MARVEL ACTION CLASSICS SPIDER-MAN TWO IN ONE #1

Marc Sumerak, Peter David (A) David Nakayama, Mike Norton (CVR A) Patrick Scherberger

Two classic Spider-Man tales, pulled from the legendary Vault of Heroes! First-a chance encounter with the Enchantress pits Spidey against Thor-with the whole of Asgard right behind! Then, when Flash Thompson gets a bite from a werewolf, Spidey seeks the aid of the sorcerer supreme-Doctor Strange!

MEN IN BLACK UNDERCOVER

Jay Cormier, Sen-Foong Lim (A) Dan Schoening

Aliens exist! In Men In Black: Undercover, you’ll join one of three groups: the Men In Black, who work to hide aliens, the Shadow Government, who seek to capture and weaponize aliens, and the Conspiracy Theorists, who try to expose alien life. Join a side and influence the aliens to join your cause, but don’t reveal your true intentions-you’ll need to stay Undercover to win!

3-6 players o Playable from ages 12+ o 30 minutes

•   Recruit various aliens to your faction’s cause by playing influence cards. •   Target unique aliens to gain advantages over other players in your own faction. •   Uncover your opponents’ faction affiliations while hiding your own.

MY LITTLE PONY NIGHTMARE KNIGHTS TP

Jeremy Whitley (A/CVR) Tony Fleecs

Equestria’s in danger! Powerless and threatened by a great evil, Princess Luna discovers she can’t count on her sister or any of the usual heroes of Equestria. Running out of time and with nowhere to turn, Luna assembles a team specially suited to save the day… made up of former villains! Will Luna, Capper, Tempest Shadow, Trixie, and Stygian all be able to work together and find a way into the most dangerous place any of them have ever been? Can Princess Luna and a team of reformed villains save the day?

MY LITTLE PONY SPIRIT OF THE FOREST #1

Ted Anderson (A/CVR A) Brenda Hickey (CVR B) Tony Fleecs

The Cutie Mark Crusaders are back! When Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle take a trip into the woods, they find a forest filled with trash! Just what could be causing this mess?! Looks like it’s another mystery for our favorite fillies to solve-and one where not everything is as it seems…

The Cutie Mark Crusaders return in this brand-new mini-series!

PUNKS NOT DEAD LONDON CALLING #4

David Barnett (A/CVR) Martin Simmonds

Butch and Sundance! Bonnie and Clyde! Laurel and Hardy! History is littered with great double acts, but the ultimate boy-meets-ghost odd couple is no more as Fergie and Sid go their separate ways. While Sid heads off to look up old mates, Fergie finally meets his dad in LONDON CALLING: “To the Imitation Zone.”

STAR TREK TNG HC MISSIONS CONTINUE

Brannon Braga, Scott Tipton, More (A) David Messina, Gordon Purcell, More (CVR) Joe Corroney

Follow the intergalactic adventures of Captain Jean-Luc Picard and the crew of the U.S.S. Enterprise-D as they explore new worlds. Collects The Space Between, Intelligence Gathering, Last Generation, Ghosts, and Hive.

Collects five complete graphic novels into one oversized hardcover edition.

STAR TREK YEAR FIVE #2

Jackson Lanzing, Collin Kelly (A/CVR A) Stephen Thompson

As the last year of their original mission begins, the crew of the U.S.S. Enterprise will have to use all of the skills they’ve acquired along the way as they prepare to face the biggest challenge of their lives-a dark threat that doesn’t just threaten their existence, but the existence of the entire Federation as well…

TMNT ONGOING #94

Tom Waltz, Kevin Eastman (A/CVR A) Dave Wachter (CVR B) Kevin Eastman

“City at War, Part 2.” As battle lines are drawn in the criminal underworld of New York City, Old Hob takes his mission to the next level, and he’ll have unexpected help from one of the TMNT!

TMNT URBAN LEGENDS #13

Gary Carlson (A/CVR A&B) Frank Fosco (CVR B) Erik Larsen

The entire TMNT Volume 3 run-all 23 issues-reprinted in full color for the first time! Culminating in 3 brand new issues to close out the series! The search for Deathwatch continues! The infamous killer’s trail leads Leo, Mikey, and a robotic Donatello to Sheldon, Arkansas, where they find themselves face-to-face with more murderous mayhem. Meanwhile, Raph, back home in New York, makes a chilling discover during his duel with the mob. Could it be… Shredder’s inner sanctum?!

UNCLE SCROOGE #45

Francesco Artibani (A) Alessandro Perina (CVR A) Marco Gervasio

When one of Gyro Gearloose’s inventions allows Donald Duck to “hear” what his plants are saying, Uncle Scrooge gets one of his biggest money-fueled ideas ever. But in true Scrooge fashion, the road to riches is anything but smooth-in fact, it’s downright magical! Find out how in “The Captain’s Sequoia!”

  Join the IDW Hasbro Shared Universe related conversation here in our Comics Discussion and Reviews section and here for all other franchises, superheroes, or general comic book discussions! Not a member? Join our community by creating your own free account here! Or jump right into the live chat on our Discord server or our Facebook Group!

IDW Comics Shipping List for May 29th! It’s time for our weekly Diamond Comics Shipping List! Check out some great titles IDW has in store for us next week like…

[whoslaurapalmer]

penultimate. peril.

penultimate peril is my absolute favorite in the series and these episodes somehow simultaneously lived up to and didn’t even meet my expectations 

-the “welcome little baby” line!!!! but isn’t that actually from the end? -OH GOD -THERE HE IS -LEMONY -AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA -no brunch. no distraught kit. no brunch.  -compared to in previous eps, klaus being the pro-vfd one, now violet is! “of course we will!” UGGGG -STILL NOT DISTRAUGHT -olaf has more pressing problems in his life and better things to do than trying to prove something to the man and the woman  -”e is for ernest who is evil” WHOA THERE -I THOUGHT SHE WAS JUST GONNA SAY ENEMY -EVIL  -no brunch. no baby room wallpaper line. no distraught kit. -i’m sorry but i just can’t get behind bertrand being the one with glasses. bea had glasses and she hated wearing them and rarely wore them. -no “your father got that same look on his face whenever he was thinking” none of that, huh. -OH!!!! THERE WE GO!!!! THE SHORTEST MENTION OF BEING DISTRAUGHT AND PREGNANT EVER!!!!!!!!!  -young!!!!! lemon!!!!!!!! -dewey saying a line that was absolutely from lemony’s letter to bea and saying it to kit is, weird. -oh so they’re. playing it like that’s ernest. like kit’s with ernest. mmmmmmmm. cause someone who hasn’t read the books wouldn’t know about dewey yet. mmmmmmm. really. i see. -WHAT IS THIS TIMELINE -WHAT THE HELL -lemon. -hey. where are their. you know. sunglasses. -oh i love the triplets walking behind the desk, that was STELLAR AND I LOVED IT -tv was made to portray the three different chapters of violet and klaus and sunny’s different adventures in the hotel. like, it’s worth it just to be able to see them play out like this cause they STILL play out like they did in the books, one at a time, and it!!!! it’s so good!!!!!! IT WAS SO GOOD -i was so disappointed to not see hal, though. i really wanted to see hal. i was actually. excited for that..... -oh so now nero has replaced geraldine. -changing so much of the......background mystery of the show and seeing it play out just made me feel like the JS mystery didn’t fit in the show now -- especially because in the books, even justice strauss doesn’t know, right????? but as revealed later on, they were all?????? working together???????? it just doesn’t sit right with me  -THE WRONGS. WERE BEAUTIFUL. OH MY GOD. -that was. the best thing in the world. god it was so good. it sounded. forgive me. so right.  -babs.........and jerome...................... -jerome!!!!! and charles????????? okay!!!!!! i could dig it if it wasn’t another throwaway line about vague distant background representation that we never see -same with babs and mrs bass -LARRY -I FUCKING SCREAMED WHEN LARRY SHOWED UP OH MY GOD i thought they’d just cut him right out too. -OLAF AS JACQUES I’M FUCKING DYING that was hilarious. so good. oh my god. the eyebrow. -yay. creepy olaf. is olaf.  -fortunes? not finance? -mr poe just changed personality but somehow still stayed exactly the same. what the hell. -lasso reveal -- YIPPIE  -YIPPIE KI YAY -yippie. ki, yay.  -re: larry -- it’s more fun to hear about the absurd moments in the series, including the absurd deaths, because then they’re amusing but we don’t see them and it makes up the fabric of the story and can still be serious, but seeing larry get boiled in a giant vat of curry, like, seeing it happen, was........well..............mmmm. it took that away. seeing it made it feel more weird dark spy than weird absurd spy. i don’t know what i’m going for here. made sense when i wrote it on my phone during the ep. makes less sense now trying to type it after.  -but i stand by whatever the hell i just said there -elephant!!!! i got my elephant story reference!!!!! i got it!!!!! oh my god!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it was there!!!!!!  -actual justice strauss!!!! i legit thought they would cut her out. -but her presence, after watching larry and jacquelyn and jacques and olivia, has none of the meaning it had before in the book, seeing her show up out of nowhere and hearing her talk about following them. because we’ve seen other adults follow them now. -okay, look, the thing is, there’s no way lemony doesn’t know who those kids are. -also, side note, you think kit played by allison williams looks old enough to be having her fourth child, lemony?????? -i guess it depends on how you want to view the timeline, and there are people who view lemony as having worked on the series for years, and babybea finding him before the 13th book came out, because the beatrice letters was released before it, and in-universe it would take time to put all this together and take the same length of time as the real-life publishing of the books, but  -at the same time there are enough hints in the story that also place lemony, by slippery slope, close to where the baudelaires are in their story. at least that’s the way i prefer to see it. so this????? i’m not having any of this  -i don’t like the triumphant music when dewey talks. he should be a lot more harried than this  -OH THEY’LL LEAVE VFD TO RAISE BABYBEA BUT LEAVE THE LIBRARY IN THE HANDS OF THREE SMALL CHILDREN  -”is a safe life really enough” hey fuck you -where’s dewey’s soft and kind “noble enough” line. where is that. fuck you for taking that away from me. -BEATRICE STOLE IT FROM MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE -why. did you change olaf saying “what choice do i have” to “what else do i know how to do” 

-OPERA -oh my god esme and kit and LEMONY AND OLAF -that typewriter.............oh my child  -so. olaf’s parents or at least his father. not being presented as firestarters.  -WIFE DIED IN A FIRE -I’M SORRY, WIFE DIED IN A FIRE????? -this isn’t even what the taxi driver said anyway. -god life made so much more sense when lemony was not the taxi driver and he was just a mysterious figure i hate this  -walking away from lemony did break my heart but i also didn’t like any of this scene at all so. who knows what i’m feeling today, cats  -olaf. in the closet. not the kids. mkay. -not to be such a book stickler but...........man...................................... -blind justice!!! -PURPLE DRESS -PURPLE HELQUIST DRESS -no.......blind.......justice?????? just????? at the end???????  -i’m actually gonna cry during the kids’ court speech oh no my babies  -THEY CALL OLAF TO THE STAND?????????????????????????  -i know it’s probably just because she calls everyone darling but man young!esme is just fucking in love with everyone isn’t she  -straight up thought she was on a date with kit before olaf was in the scene in the first opera flashback, honestly  -it completes her tea set. -i mean it’s a shallow enough reason for esme but also esme is. more than a shallow person like i don’t care for her much but i know that i think she’d have a better reason than ‘it completes my tea set’  -THEY JUST WALK OFF WITH IT. JUST LIKE THAT. -no big deal but lemony mentions somewhere in the series (slippery slope?) that it was actually kit’s idea to use the sugar bowl as a container.  -”We’re all friends here” WHY WOULD KIT SNICKET EVER SAY THAT  -it looks. it really looks like they framed the murder of olaf’s father. as an accident. and i don’t like that. i don’t like that at all. i hate it with every fiber of my being.  -also the schism happened before that incident but whatever.  -ALSO. I’VE SAID IT BEFORE. I’LL SAY IT AGAIN. NOWHERE IS IT EVER IMPLIED THAT THE DEATH OF OLAF’S PARENTS AND THE THEFT OF THE SUGAR BOWL HAPPEN ON THE SAME NIGHT AND I HATE THAT THEY PLACED THEM ON THE SAME NIGHT I HATE THAT TOO -pepper. -it was pepper.  -once again. “burn down hotel” was also a moment. that needed to be slowed down.  -this season is actually lacking a good deal of the lemony narration that would have slowed down certain scenes in a good way  -lemony wasn’t even holding a dart. why do they think lemony killed olaf’s father???????  -okay i actually went back and rewatched that and he WAS holding a dart. -i’m not gonna get into my perception of lemony post-atwq and how he feels about murder after that, okay, i’m not, i don’t have the energy  -but fuck you for having him hold a poison dart  -so no break up letter. not at all. he just. says those words to her. that’s all.  -and you know why that pisses me off? because it takes away the real reasons behind lemony and bea’s breakup. it takes away lemony’s cowardice and bea’s impulsiveness and the arson accusations and going on the lam and all the implied everything about it and the fact that it’s vfd and the ideals and what they’ve been forced to do and be that breaks them up and reduces it to.........this. ten seconds. that’s what their relationship is.  -so no, i did not like the weird......timeline travel montage with the photographs and the background song...........the only thing i felt was ‘are you guys serious about doing this.’