#izzy hands anon hate drama

[scary-flag]

can someone pls explain how the hell izzy hands is racist? im literally a bipoc and am fighting for my life trying to figure it out.

Hi!

The thing is most people do not actually think that! I am trying to understand the issue from the outsider perspective, but let me throw my hat into the ring:

There is, of course, a large number of people who do not like Izzy (which is understandable - he is the antagonist after all), but some of them (like, 5 or 6 people maybe? These are the same users all the time tbh, but I'm not gonna list nicknames here) make some very weird stretches. Their reasoning is mostly:

- Izzy is racist because he manipulates Ed, who is a PoC (would be true to an extent but we know Izzy's reasoning is not racially based but a toxic relationship-based)

- Izzy is racist because he only acts mean towards characters that are PoC (which is not true, as he has hit Black Pete and deprived Wee John of rations for a week which was a rather severe punishment on a ship)

- Izzy is racist because for some reason people insist he must be from the upper class, which is not true again, as there is nothing that would suggest that

- Izzy is racist because he asked the English to release Ed into his custody (this one, in fact, clearly rises from the lack of understanding what "release to custody" would mean on a ship in the 1700s and people read it in the modern sense of the term)

- Izzy is racist because he wants to dominate Ed (this is epic bullshit, the man is clearly fixated on actually *being* dominated here)

- Izzy is racist because he wants to see Ed as a cruel, unhinged murderer (and this would be racist indeed, if it was a correct assumption, but it is not because we know Izzy wants it *not* because Ed is PoC, but because he is in a toxic love with the legendary image of Blackbeard)

Tbh all the anon hate is 100% one and the same person and I am 99% sure it's one of those people who constantly post their "crit" in the Izzy Hands tag. Because let's face it: what person would spend so much time writing posts about a character they do not like?

It is worth remembering though that not everyone who does not like Izzy is a part of the weird, unhinged circle. Most people are normal about it and I had some really good discussions with those who dislike Izzy that were absolutely not hateful. They usually do not go around calling people racist and abusive for reblogging Izzy fanart.

I am also VERY disappointed seeing people who call themselves anti-racist legit attacking bipoc. This is beyond my comprehension.

If you want to dig deeper I recommend reading @uselessheretic post - they are PoC, were harrassed by the anon haters, and makes good points about the whole situation.

[uselessheretic]

Harm Reduction in the OFMD Fandom: Izcourse Edition

I keep wanting to write something up about this, but getting stumped on how to even begin. Largely, because I already know exactly what bad faith arguments are going to be made off the bat, and I feel reluctant to clog down my writing trying to dispel every weird take about things I didn't say. So, it is what it is. If you have questions please ask politely and use a bit of critical thought beyond trying to find anything to grab hold on to contradict.

The Izzy fandom gets harassed. A lot. Nobody here understands why either. When referencing harassment, I'm most likely referring to either direct abusive messages such as anon hate through Tumblr, or talking about the OFMD through a holistic view that includes harassment through Twitter of common dogpiling, stalking, spreading of false rumors, the occasional doxxing, and other things. I'm including Twitter in this conversation because the world doesn't revolve around individuals on Tumblr, and for some of us, it's beneficial to talk about the greater context of fandom without assuming that we are blaming random Tumblr users for Twitter drama. That said, a lot of people use both platforms and the two of them are closely linked, especially since a lot of meta from Tumblr gets poorly replicated on Twitter.

So we're on the same page, the way I'm defining harassment is: The continuous or severe targeting of an individual or group through harmful behavior that includes physical threats, name-calling, impersonation, spreading malicious rumors, and encouraging others to harass a target. This is not an all-inclusive list, but I want to create a baseline for what I'm talking about. This also means things such as stating you dislike a character, responding to another's post to disagree, or speaking positively about a character. This also means that instances of conflict are not inherently harassment either, although this is murkier as we move through the gray area of "continuous or severe."

I'll also be using the terms "Izzy likers" and "Izzy crit" since those seem to be each respective sides more preferred terms and things like "Izzy stans" or "Izzy antis" can hold negative connotations. I'll also be referring to the anon hate received as from a singular person, unless noted otherwise, and as "L anon."

So, I guess let's dive into it?

I've seen the question posed a few times "Well, what do you want us to do about it?" when Izzy likers have brought up the topic of harassment or alluded to the fact that Izzy crits as a group contribute to this. It's true that our individual ability to stop harassment completely is an impossible task, however, there are actions that can be taken as a collective to reduce the amount of harm being done. I don't believe it's true that harassment is an aspect of fandom one must accept to be within it. I also don't think it's right to equate messages telling Black people to get lynched as the norm in fandom everyone has to deal with. I understand that anon hate is common throughout fandoms, but the vitriol and noticeable escalation of L anon is an anomaly that deserves to be taken seriously.

Actions I'm proposing (and will elaborate on) are for Izzy crits to STOP:

Minimizing the harassment of Izzy likers

Separating this harassment from greater conversations of misogyny, transphobia, racism, and antiblackness

Engaging with L anon unless it is to very clearly condemn him without caveats

Encouraging the association of liking Izzy as being an indicator that someone is racist, abusive, homophobic, etc

Using the #Izzy Hands tag as a place to post character hate, criticisms of Izzy likers, or to find meta focused on disliking him.

Minimizing harassment and distancing identity

This includes things such as suggesting that the harassment might not exist, that it isn't that bad, it's just a troll, turn off anon, everybody deals with this, and the idea that people are using discussions on harassment as an excuse. Minimizing harassment normalizes the behavior and continues a narrative that Izzy likers should expect to get harassed online. Downplaying the effects or severity dismisses the victims of it, and refusing to recognize that this is a form of passive endorsement.

I feel some type of way about this personally because I don't appreciate my experiences of racist harassment being treated as something I should just get over or normal in fandom. Like sorry to keep bringing it up I guess lol but like?

This isn't okay and it goes beyond "normal" fandom harassment and I feel like I'm going crazy having to argue that this isn't just something shitty that happens to everyone, but an awful, violent, and frightening message(s) to receive. It genuinely concerns me to see white people in fandom brush it off and make a choice to instead focus on the implications of shipping Izzy with his boss. It points towards a trend of dehumanization online where we no longer see people as people, but characters in our screen who have lesser value than our favorite blorbos. I cannot believe I have to say this.

Purposely separating L anon from identity is another way of passively justifying abuse. Whenever people brush off L anon, it's often in the context of anon hate happens to everyone and ignores the fact that more marginalized identities are getting the brunt of this which includes rape threats, suicide baiting, and overt antiblackness. It can often be followed with reminders that Izzy crits of color also receive racism. The thing is, saying that Izzy likers are receiving racist harassment, doesn't mean that other groups of fans do not. The harassment Izzy likers gets still matters, even if you don't view it as unique. It's concerning to hear white allies especially utilize this rhetoric as if they have a limited capacity of caring for poc.

Engaging with L anon

A lot of people do straight up delete L anon asks. On the Izzy likers side at least, there's been an uptick in people posting the hate they receive or collecting screencaps before blocking out of a necessity of proving that the hate exists. I think a lot of us would prefer to not have to do that!

It would help if Izzy crits made an effort to stop engaging with the anon unless it was to condemn his actions. Certain forms of engagement can be viewed as encouragement whether intentional or not, and it feels noticeable that in the last few weeks L anon has gotten increasingly violent.

You don't have to tell L anon that "I'm not even an Izzy stan so you have the wrong blog anyways" because this normalizes the idea that he should be focusing his attention on Izzy likers. You don't have to argue and justify to L anon that you actually dislike Izzy or prove that you're critical of him for the same reason.

You certainly don't need to tell L anon "I don't care if you harass Izzy stans" and it's insane to pretend like this is anything but a dick move.

Telling L anon "you act just like an Izzy stan!" or that they're "Izzy coded" reinforces to him that Izzy likers are abusers and racists, therefore affirming in his mind that they're acceptable targets.

Seriously, if your response is anything other than "sending these messages is fucked up and nobody in fandom deserves this for liking a character" then just block and delete the ask. Any amount of attention can be twisted into positive affirmation and adding on "harassment is bad" doesn't negate the impact of confirming to anon that you view Izzy likers as racist abusers.

Encouraging the association of liking Izzy as being an indicator that someone is racist, abusive, homophobic, etc

It sucks stop doing it. We can draw a difference between Izzy the character and Izzy likers. In the end, your interpretation of a character is yours and nobody can stop you from having it. Putting thought into how you frame meta, however, could help lessen this association.

Be careful with your language and ensure that you are referring to the character when discussing the show. "Izzy stans refuse to see that he's X" is an unnecessary statement when it can just be that "Izzy is X which you can see from scene Y." When there is a specific trend of harassment being justified via claiming a group of people is bigoted, it's worth the effort of minimizing feeding into that assumption.

Saying shit like "Izzy likers who are poc are desperate for white approval" is like for one really shitty lmao? But also feels bad in a climate where people are being called Candace Owens race traitors who should be killed.

There's a great article that touches on this and the way that even when someone isn't directly harassing a person, their separate posts in combination with others, reifies the idea that the victim in an appropriate target.

The author further elaborate in her research about third order or indirect harassment.

The examples she uses here are a bit more extreme, but this is the same framework she's utilizing in her article discussing harassment on the left and in queer communities.

When you answer L anon and say shit like:

or respond to concerns about racist targeting like this:

I am in fact going to feel some type of way about a week later seeing L anon increasingly escalate his behavior until I get six messages in my inbox calling me a race traitor bigoted cunt. It doesn't matter if you say "it's bad to be racist" when you're already confirming the idea that Izzy likers are the main exporters of racism in fandom which is explicitly L anon's justification for sending hate.

Tagging character hate

I still can't believe that this is an argument when it's a basic courtesy within fandom and has been for years. Tagging character hate doesn't constitute as harassment. However, it does exacerbate an already hostile climate between fans and allows for more conflict that could be easily avoided.

If a meta post is in the character tag then people are going to respond to it. It being tagged communicates that this is something people can respond, especially when you encourage people who agree with you to comment.

If you want less Izzy likers to respond to your Izzy meta then just stop tagging it as #Izzy Hands. It will greatly decrease the amount of interaction! Putting posts into the tag ends up baiting people into responding, continuing to draw out a conflict that nobody wants to be in.

If you don't like Izzy and you think he's too popular a character or his fandom is where you end up seeing the most toxicity come from please consider not going through his tag. If you instead look through tags of characters you like, you will be rewarded with content of that character. The character tag will not function adequately as a place to locate critical content for them, so just cut out the middle man, and stop using it because it's just pissing both sides off and "I have a right to be here!" is the dumbest hill to die on.

Using alternative tags for organization literally just makes things easier for everyone. Tagging things with #Izzy crit or something like #Dizzy Izzy allows you to have a space to locate similar posts without having to expose yourself to a group of people you don't like. It also provides an easy tag for people to block and avoid seeing on their dashboard. This is better than people just having mute the tag to filter out when going through his character tag, because it doesn't require an entire community to cater towards your need to post things in a tag on principle. People who are new to the fandom and just happen to like the character also don't have to be confused by seeing chara hate in the tag and going to argue with it.

It is good to center your fandom experience on things you like instead of being set on asserting your right to be within a space you don't like! I promise!

[ourflagmeansgayrights]

i'm cry laughing some people on twitter are now saying "izzy bashing" needs to be tagged in fics. how did these people ever survive watching this show where izzy is the CANON ANTAGONIST i'll never know

benefit of the doubt but i think most of them have gotten to this point gradually. when they first watched the show they were not attached to izzy the way they are now. i know for a lot of people it was blorbo at first sight with izzy but i've also seen izzy enjoyers say they didn't like him at first, and then fandom made them care about him.

like i'm pretty sure for a lot of ppl it started off with isolating themselves from ppl who made posts that they didnt like, like ppl who criticized ofmd for being based on two real people with direct connections to actual real-world slave trade (which is an incredibly valid thing to criticize abt ofmd).

another one that i think funneled a lot of fans towards being so delusionally attached to izzy was people pointing out or complaining about the disproportionate amount of fan content for izzy compared to prominent characters of color—which is a consistent issue in fandom no matter what the media, and is also a very easy one for people to be uncomfortable with whenever they see it get pointed out. people venting that "fans care too much abt this white man" often make fans who care abt that white man very defensive right off the bat, and then rather than engage with why they feel defensive or question if maybe their enjoyment of this character is fueled by implicit bias (which it might not be, to be clear! im not saying—and i have never said—that everyone who enjoyes izzy likes him for racist reasons), they stop listening to the conversation abt white favoritism and continue blorboposting as much as they want. it's incredibly easy for fans to brush off this convo as "just starting drama" and avoid the topic altogether because "fandom is for fun!" and they dont want to think abt difficult topics like racism and implicit bias, they just want to enjoy their blorbos in peace.

so they kept narrowing the takes they were seeing until they were in an echo chamber that kept moving more and more towards complete woobification of izzy hands. these people are now looking at the show entirely through izzy's pov, making posts abt how sad it is that none of the other characters are ever nice to him, how frustrating the show is from his perspective, how it feels to be deeply in love with someone who doesn't love you back. they've stared at gifs of con's micro-expressions and read angsty fanfiction and looked at endless izzy fanart and their entire ofmd fandom experience revolves around empathizing with this one character even tho the show itself continually makes him the butt of the joke.

at this point, telling these people to rewatch the show doesn't even matter. they've spent so much time over-analyzing every single one of izzy's scenes to the point where the emotional responses they get from these scenes are not the emotional responses anyone would have watching the show for the first time. they've warped the entire first season to fit their version of the show and are forgetting how often the show itself bashes izzy.

and the icing on the cake is the trolling. there's like, one or two people on here who go around sending anon hate and leaving nasty comments on instagram posts and harassing people on twitter for... like, i would say "for liking izzy" or even "for saying positive things about izzy" but like. i've gotten these messages, and the most sympathetic i've ever been to izzy was the post i made like "maybe he's mean bc he has chronic IBS. i'd actually understand him more if that were the case." so when i get these messages it's easier for me to just laugh them off bc it's so obviously just someone trying to make me upset, but people who do care about izzy (a lot of them being the same people who avoided engaging with the "why does fandom care so much abt white characters" convo) get these absolutely horrible messages about how they deserve to get hate crimed and they should kill themselves. and these fans who didn't want to even see vaguely negative posts abt izzy bc they just want to enjoy fandom in peace are now like "im targeted for just liking a character!"

so that's how we get to people saying that "izzy bashing" needs to be tagged. never mind that their definition of "bashing" almost certainly includes things that are not bashing but are just things that contradict the way they headcannnon him.

[myfandomgarbage]

Nothing about Izzy Hands reads as trans, and you are super fucking gross for tainting trans men by insisting on associating that abusive, racist piece of shit with us.

i'm trans

he's not the only one I headcanon as trans

people are allowed to like villain characters

people are allowed to headcanon villains as queer as long as it's not because they are villains

trans men can be assholes we're men after all (/JOKE!)

[something-about-sunflowers]

It's framed as a character experiencing trauma, yes, but i really think that character is Ed. He just said he doesn't want to do fucked up things like that anymore, but now he has to. If you saw the scene by itself, you might think Izzy is the victim, but in the context of the series he is definitely not. Izzy is an abusive sub.

Anon, tell me something, what power does Izzy have over Ed? I have some things to say about the rest of what you said but I really feel like we gotta focus on this 'abuse' allegation.

What power does Izzy hold over Ed? Socially? Physically? Emotionally? He may have some level of societal power over him, given that he's a white man and Ed is not but, like, so's half the ship. So's Stede. And Izzy doesn't use that power over Ed anyway.

'Oh, but he sicced the navy on him!' Ed wasn't supposed to be there. Izzy tried to get him off the ship before they got there.

Also, Izzy is a pirate. A known pirate and Blackbeard's first mate. Do you think, white man or no, he'd have had any bargaining power over Ed's fate at the hands of the navy if he wasn't doing Chauncey a favor by giving him Stede? The only reason they were willing to let Ed go is because Chauncey was in charge and he wanted Stede more than he wanted Blackbeard. If Chauncey hadn't been there, or had seen a bigger picture, they would have all been hanged. All. Including Izzy.

Other than that? Izzy has no power over Ed. The crew like Ed and hate Izzy, even Fang and Ivan. Ed is the only reason Izzy isn't anchored at the bottom of the ocean by the end of ep 9. He didn't even have to do or say much of anything, just ask Izzy for tea, and the rest of the crew let Izzy go. They like Ed.

Physically? Ed's bigger than him. Izzy may be 'the world's best swordsman' but like, in a fight? I'd put my money on Blackbeard. Hell, I'd put my money on Ed. In a swordfight I'd put my money on Ed. Izzy doesn't want to hurt Ed. He doesn't want to kill him. The whole point of everything he does is to keep him (and himself by proxy) alive.

Emotionally? Probably the closest to be honest, but still, not quite. Cause, here's the thing, Ed ignores Izzy. A lot. Even (and especially) when it comes to important stuff. He's dismissive over Izzy's frustration and confusion over their lost crew and of Izzy's concern about the Spanish intending to kill them. He fully could have told him he already had a plan but he didn't because he wanted to re-assert his own authority and genius. He wasn't trying to impress Izzy (Stede and crew? Yeah, not Izzy tho.) he was reminding him why he's the boss.

His insults don't hold weight. If Ed was being emotionally abused by Izzy don't you think he might have had a different response to Izzy's 'You're just an insane, unpleasant, shell of a man who's merely posing as Blackbeard'? Like, it might have cowed him and he'd be apologetic? Or it might have triggered him into anger and violence instead of a teasing smirk and a 'That's Blackbeard, I'm Stede, remember?'?

He can't even manipulate Ed because Ed is gonna do what he wants regardless. 'I don't think he's worth your time.' 'He doesn't want to meet.' 'Seemed to [know who you are], yeah.' 'You can "suck eggs in hell" were his exact words, I believe.' All attempts to get Ed to not try and meet this guy, all failed.

So how, Anon, with this extreme lack of power in all aspects with regards to Ed, is Izzy in any position to be his abuser?

He's an asshole. They all are. They're fucking pirates.

He's toxic. They all are. They're fucking pirates.

But he is fundamentally incapable of being an abuser to anyone aboard the Revenge, let alone Ed, because he doesn't have the power to be an abuser.

Now, as to the rest of this.

You think Ed, who 'loves a good maim', who is depressed because he's lacking 'drama and chaos' in his life of 'being the best at piracy', who is upset that, when they see Blackbeard's flag, people surrender, that Ed, is the one who is traumatized by that experience? Not, say, the person who the traumatic violence is being inflicted upon?

Anon, did we watch the same show?

'To be honest it can be a bit of a drag. I don't know if I wanna go back to the old days. Just, drinking rum all day and biting the heads off turtles, making some poor bloke eat his own toes as a laugh.'

That's not 'I don't want to do fucked up things anymore.', Anon. That's 'I find these things boring now.'. It's kind of why 'What makes Ed happy is [Stede]' is important? Because Stede is novel. He's new. Ed isn't bored with him. Even the things he's used to that feel boring now don't when he's with Stede because he gets a new perspective through Stede. Anyway, I digress, the point is: Ed's not traumatized by the 'fucked up things', he's bored by them because they've become monotonous and he doesn't have to try anymore.

'Now he has to.' Says who? Izzy? The man who was about to get tossed off the ship tied to an anchor before Ed came back? The crew was perfectly fine with turning the ship into a damn traveling circus, no maiming/murdering/plundering required.

Anon, I get it. I get it if Ed is your favorite character, and maybe you project on him a little, so it hurts to see people say he's a bad person but like, he's Blackbeard. He's a bad person. Doesn't mean he's not relatable. Doesn't mean he's not likeable. Doesn't mean you can't enjoy him as a character. But relatability and likeability and being a good character does not a 'poor abuse victim' make. He's responsible for his own decisions. He's responsible for his own actions.

'If you saw the scene by itself, you might think Izzy is the victim,' I have seen the series, several times over, in its entirety, Anon. I have the context, Izzy is the victim in this scene. And Ed is not a victim of Izzy in any context.

[sixstepsaway]

Ed is my favorite character but I am also very much an Izzy Hands enjoyer and I am baffled by the "Ed is a innocent lamb uwu everything bad and mean about Blackbeard was Izzy but also Izzy is incompetent and Ed never needed him for Blackbeard at all!" sentiment I see. Like....? How do you reconcile that? Also Ed "doesn't kill" but we see him order a man to be flayed alive with a snail fork and then thrown overboard. We see that. Izzy isn't there. Izzy didn't "make" him do this, just like Izzy didn't make him cut off his toe, which happened hours after their fight, in a calculated response that took into account Stede specifically recoiling from the idea (there's something to unpack).

When they say Ed had people kill their pets, Ed doesn't deny it or in any way indicate it wasn't his idea. The entire plan of killing Stede and taking his place was Ed's idea, not Izzy's! Ed could have ordered him to stop at any time and he didn't, he didn't even have the stomach to watch Izzy stab Stede (I love the contrast between this and the act of grace moment), and people act like the whole murder thing was entirely Izzy's idea and desire and Ed is just a helpless bystander. Ed is the one in charge except when he can't or won't be, but he still wants things done his way, wants all of the positives and none of the negatives (who can blame him? We all want that. But Ed doesn't seem to recognize that isn't actually possible).

If Izzy is so diametrically opposed to everything Ed is, and just a horrible hateful little man, why has Ed kept him around? Why is he his first mate? Why does he trust him more than anyone else, and let him in more than anyone else, until Stede? Why does their relationship read like they came up together, like they've literally known each other decades, like there is a depth and history and so much nuance to the relationship and yet you have people acting like Izzy is just some guy assigned by the pirate temp agency to Blackbeard shortly before the show starts? That Ed doesn't have the authority to fire?

There's abuse and toxicity coming from both Ed and Izzy in this relationship, and we're seeing it as it crumbles. The fact that it crumbles so painfully and dramatically - along with just every single thing about the way they interact, I feel insane - speaks to there having been a foundation of genuine friendship and partnership and maybe even love through the years (there are so many ways to love, what Ed & Stede have is glorious but just one). They're both in crisis. Izzy is making horrific, hurtful decisions but so is Ed. Ed has been hurt by Izzy's actions but Izzy has been hurt by Ed's as well (I'm not even talking about the toe! I'm talking about the years of relying on Izzy and having him do his dirty work, with very little thanks).

Ed and Stede have protagonist bias working in their favor (see how so many people ignore Stede's casual colorblind racism and that he can only be funding this adventure through exploitation and violence) - they also had some tragic, traumatic back story shown on screen. Izzy didn't - do people think that means he doesn't have one? That he was just born like this, has always been like this for no reason? That isn't how humans work. Real or fictional.

Ed deserves to be happy, it's what I want most. I want him to heal. I want the same for Izzy. They're both struggling and in pain and nothing I've seen from either of them as fictional people in a romcom makes me think they're undeserving or unable to be redeemed.

Anyway I love your Izzy posts. Keep on keeping on. Sending this anon because I don't want my own haters haha.

All of this, anon. All of this. The Revenge and the rest of the Pirate World are two entirely different stages (up until the end of ep 10), and when they swap between those worlds, the rules shift and change. You go from Pirate Drama (ala Black Sails, for example) to Rom Com and back again. Because of that, pretty much everyone who joined the Revenge who isn't Stede is an objectively awful person in their own ways who have made their lives by killing, plundering, looting, even torturing. I think that's why I love them all so much, because they're being given the chance to evolve past that. It's almost like starting a series with an entire cast of villains heading for redemption. It's excellent.

If Izzy is so diametrically opposed to everything Ed is, and just a horrible hateful little man, why has Ed kept him around? Why is he his first mate? Why does he trust him more than anyone else, and let him in more than anyone else, until Stede? Why does their relationship read like they came up together, like they've literally known each other decades, like there is a depth and history and so much nuance to the relationship and yet you have people acting like Izzy is just some guy assigned by the pirate temp agency to Blackbeard shortly before the show starts? That Ed doesn't have the authority to fire?

omg anon this bit here i was nodding along ready to contribute my own thoughts and then i hit PIRATE TEMP AGENCY and i fuckin LOST IT. thank you for that.

But also I think one particular bit really stands out to me from the POV of their friendship. Two, actually, one less than the other so I'll start there:

the first one is that Izzy specifically sends Calico Jack after Ed. He knows enough about Ed's temperament, and about his relationship with Jack to know that Jack is absolutely perfect to drive a wedge not only between Ed and Stede but between Ed and everyone on the crew. And he DOES. It's an absolutely FLAWLESS plan up until the point they're in dinghy and Jack has to be a bitch and talk about Izzy. If he hadn't done that? If his jealousy, ego, bitchiness hadn't come out so strongly? Damn. That plan was flawless and Ed would firstly have never known about the English and secondly gone back to Izzy.

Because Izzy knew him.

But the bit I specifically wanted to talk about in relation to your piece up there is after Ed hits him at the start of Act of Grace.

First off; Ed only hits him. He socks him real good in the face but that's it! I subconsciously assumed he was testing to see if the English would stop him, and then would surge on with something new but no. He thinks Izzy has completely betrayed them, and he even says so to Stede ("He sold us out.") but all he does is hit him. He doesn't hit him then try to shove him over the side. He doesn't try to bounce him off the mast. He doesn't pull a knife! He just socks him once real good in the face.

And then comes what Izzy says after that:

"That's fair. That's fair. Remember though, you said when you made me first mate, 'above all else is loyalty to your captain'. You're my captain and I was never gonna stand by and let you destroy yourself for that... twat. And this? This is a humane way of ending this. It's quick, it's clean. Edward, you know that."

And oh, my god. I could go on about this line for days but I'll try and keep it brief: Edward is the one that told Izzy that above all is loyalty to him. Edward. Knowing what Ed is capable of, knowing the kind of shit he's done not only in episode 10 but also the skinning and god knows what else? Who knows how he instilled that into Izzy, that his loyalty is to Edward and Edward only. A lot of people think the X on Izzy's cheek is his signature, and fuck. Imagine if that was when he gave him that? Imagine if he literally tattooed his signature into Izzy's face because his loyalty is to Ed and Ed only. (If not that X, perhaps a Blackbeard brand under his glove? Who knows.)

Then, after that, he goes on to say he wasn't going to let Ed destroy himself. This isn't a betrayal, and I think the fact Ed doesn't kill him here, doesn't cast him off the ship at the end of episode 9, doesn't tell him to go fuck himself, proves that Ed doesn't think it's a betrayal either. Regardless of his feelings for Stede, the only time he thought it was a betrayal was when he thought Izzy had handed them all over hook line and sinker with no regards for anything but himself. Izzy did not betray him. Izzy, in fact, kept his pledge of loyalty.

And then finally, the humane way of ending this? Izzy's job is keeping Edward happy. Izzy's job is keeping Edward safe and happy. That's why Stede is, in that scene, about to die by firing squad, not in some gruesome show at Charlestown or whatever else might have come his way. I would lay bets that Stede dying quickly and as painlessly as possible was part of the deal Izzy made.

I would also bet that the words, "This is the humane way of ending this, it's quick, it's clean," was what Edward said about Fang's dog.

They're both in crisis. Izzy is making horrific, hurtful decisions but so is Ed. Ed has been hurt by Izzy's actions but Izzy has been hurt by Ed's as well (I'm not even talking about the toe! I'm talking about the years of relying on Izzy and having him do his dirty work, with very little thanks).

This! This! This! I also want to reiterate very strongly that we never see Edward actually tell Izzy what he wants. He says he wants to retire and he's going to kill Stede and take his place, but when he changes his mind he never actually says, "Izzy, I'mma be honest with you mate, I love Stede and I want you in my life too but I don't want to kill him, and I don't want to be Blackbeard anymore. I want a change." Or whatever way Edward would say those things.

Edward communicates with Izzy zilch, which honestly I think is probably how things have always gone. Edward half kills some guy then goes, "Oh, Izzy?" and walks off and it's up to Izzy to finish it off. One of his crew members does something? He scoffs and scowls and that means Izzy has to handle it. Izzy has had to learn to fill in all those spots that Edward can't or won't, and that's what he's doing throughout the show, but he hasn't yet been told that Edward actively wants these changes.

Hell, I'm willing to say that he thinks Edward is becoming not just something Izzy can't recognize but something Edward actively abhors. You don't tell someone to toughen up and kill their own dog because you like softies. Which begs the question of how much time Edward has spent actively trying to toughen up his crew and remove any soft sides, just to turn entirely into that soft side?

(Also, I'll be honest, I do not think that breakup robe!Edward should be his final form. He was not himself there either, and that's because he's so actively pretending that he's none of the kraken things that he was. He's almost imitating Stede, in a way, trying to hide his pain by being someone else. I imagine his final form will be someone very capable of violence, very capable of anger and being awful, but someone who also has a deeply soft side and cultivates a lot of love and trust from those around him, someone who will murder in defense of his loved ones, rather than just 'cause he can. Which, to me, is who he was when he was younger. He killed his father for hurting his mother, that's made abundantly clear, especially since we never see his father raise a hand against him.)

...they also had some tragic, traumatic back story shown on screen. Izzy didn't - do people think that means he doesn't have one? That he was just born like this, has always been like this for no reason? That isn't how humans work. Real or fictional.

Honestly yeah. I think that's likely what they think.

Which brings me right back to the fact Stede is very much an outlier. Oluwande says himself that him and Jim have no other choice. Do they think Izzy does? Who knows what his past is that led him to piracy, anger and repression at sea? Who knows what makes him so goddamn anxious about everything running Correctly?

And yes, I do read him as anxious. He hates the situation he's in because everything is wrong. Lucius won't do his job, no one does the things they need to do to run a ship, and he is actively seen as a villain in their lives by them when he tries to get them to be the crew of a pirate ship. He nearly got thrown overboard for making them work!

Ed deserves to be happy, it's what I want most. I want him to heal. I want the same for Izzy. They're both struggling and in pain and nothing I've seen from either of them as fictional people in a romcom makes me think they're undeserving or unable to be redeemed.

THIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS!!!!! I want them both to heal, and Stede too!! Stede has so much trauma he hasn't worked through that colors everything he does (as illustrated by the fact this middle-aged man is bogged down and smothered constantly throughout the first few episodes by memories of being what... ten?)

Not to mention that a forced arranged marriage cannot possibly be anything short of traumatic (cultural arranged marriage being very different and depending on the situation etc, I'm not talking about modern arranged marriages, I'm talking specifically about the type Stede and Mary were forced into, and even more specifically their marriage). I don't think either of them were abusive to one another, but being forced to have sex solely by society and those around you to make children? Especially if Stede is gay not bi (which I read him as; gay), that's so... awful? It's basically that both of them had to agree to their own rape, almost? It's a really complicated and horrible thing and god knows what Stede felt after having to do those things with her, especially if he knew she wasn't into it with him either.

Anyway I love your Izzy posts. Keep on keeping on. Sending this anon because I don't want my own haters haha.

Thank you so much for the message because it was GREAT and your own meta was downright excellent. If you ever feel like de-anoning, feel free to DM me! And here, have another Izzy post! lmao hope you enjoy it

[duffslut]

Naughty in the park

Modern Izzy Stradlin x Reader

My Masterlist.

Word Count: 733

Requested by anon: hi! can you write something about current izzy’s girl teasing him all day and he finally decides that it’s enough

Warnings: Smut! Public sex, Piss kink, Humiliation kink, Dirty talk. Minors Dni.

It was Sunday. The downtown park was strangely empty for a sunny sunday, but there were still a few families and couples picnicking here and there.

You were wearing your mini skirt and white top set that Izzy hated since you had bought it, but that didn't stop you from wearing it. Not that day.

You spent hours in your room naked after your morning shower, using as an excuse that you didn't know what to wear. Izzy was on the bed, looking confused at you as you showed off "innocently" to him until he called you to bed, you climbed up and crawled on the bed to him, lowering the sheet that covered his body to just below his belly button and then kissing him on the mouth, jumping out of bed soon after.

This was just the beginning of your teasing with him, but his reaction wasn't quite what you expected, as you walked through the park in silence, you thought maybe you had crossed the line when you offered to play tennis with a bunch of guys obviously younger than Izzy, and knowing full well you weren't in the right clothes for it.

- Baby c'mon! that wasn't supposed to make you mad! - you said looking up to face him, your hand holding his feeling safe. - I just wanted to play with you...

You said the last sentence with as much drama as you could muster in your voice and pouted at him, but your tantrum didn't last long as Izzy's hand squeezed yours tight and pulled you into a kind of hallway or tunnel that was in the park, the top of the short tunnel was full of pink flowers and this should probably be where people used to took pictures, especially tourists.

But you didn't have much time to notice the place and how empty it was because Izzy's hand was squeezing yours harder and harder and you could barely move your fingers.

- Well now it's my turn to play with you you fucking little brat.

You looked scared but when you realized you were already on your knees in front of Izzy. You smiled sideways looking at him when you realized he was looking around worriedly before unzipping his pants.

- I don't care if anyone sees us... but you're too nice for that aren't you?

You knew you were teasing him too much, and he seemed more and more annoyed with you, but you wouldn't complain about a spanking anyway.

- You're right, or maybe you're just a bitch. You better watch your mouth before I decide to wash it.

His serious and angry voice made you speechless, and before you could answer him, you just felt your clothes start to get wet, and a jet of something bitter hit your face.

You looked up and your eyes automatically closed as you saw his hard cock sticking out, his face serious as he soaked your clothes with his piss.

You were confused by Izzy's sudden change but got into his game, opening your mouth and sticking your tongue out in an attempt to try to drink his piss, but he just seemed to want to get your clothes wet, and it started to worry you a little when you noticed that the white top you were wearing was see-through when wet.

You tried to suck his dick when he finished pissing but his hands grabbed your neck before you could. He lifted you up, his eyes glaring at you as he turned you to face the wall of the "tunnel" where you were.

- Don't you think you've been in charge too long today? -Izzy's fingers tangled in your hair and pulled your head back to whisper in your ear. - Now you're exactly as you're supposed to be, you're nothing but a fucking brat.

His whisper in your ear had your pussy and your body begging for his cock inside you, and you moaned as he held your head against the wall and lifted your mini skirt.

- You're not even wearing panties? what a dumb doll you are, at least it's easier for me to eat you out

Izzy got deep inside you and you bit your lips hard to keep from moaning, you could hear footsteps and voices near you but you didn't give a damn, all that mattered was that Izzy was fucking you like never before.

[lesamis]

"recoiling from self-recognition through the other etc etc" please talk about this more 👀

ohh i'd love to! thank you anon, i'm desperate to unleash these thoughts on someone. sorry if they're a bit long, i unfortunately care deeply about stede and izzy and the Things They Share.

to start with: stede and izzy are obviously extremely different people. that's like, 90% of where their conflict stems from, and i'm not trying to argue that they're in any way on the same journey, so to say, from a narrative point of view. still, i think it's fun to wonder if there isn't some element of inward cringing to their very visceral hatred of one another. these two loathe each other before they're even competing for anything substantial, certainly before it becomes clear that they're both in love with ed. so what else is there about the other person that sets their teeth on edge so much? in part, i think the polarity's off; they're quite similar in a few ways that neither of them likes, or cares to look at too hard.

a few things izzy and stede have in common, some more and some less significant, all of which notably also set them apart from ed and the rest of the crew:

they're neat – ed cares about how he looks, so do all the crew, to some extent, but most of them tend to have some level of artful dishevelment going on. the crew don't really have the means to not look grubby, ed does, but still wants his appearance to seem effortless, but stede and izzy visibly care. stede with his meticulously coordinated wardrobe and outfits matched to occasions, izzy with his perfect posture, his One outfit and its neatly tied cravat and securely placed ring, both of them with not a single hair out of place. looking at izzy, you just sort of know that this man would love a manicure. you'll just never hear him say it.

they're intense, in ways that maybe don't seem immediately similar because their intensity has such different expressions. you can tell from izzy's stance, from his outbursts and his snappiness and bullying how tightly wound he is; with stede, it really tends to show more in his thin skin, his over-eagerness, his bossy little fits with the crew. “is he always this highly strung?” ed asks about stede, and who might that make him think of?

in connection to that last point: they're both so repressed, and so disastrously bad at saying what they want out loud. barely anyone on this show has a tighter lid on their more intimate emotions than stede and izzy do between eps 1 and 9. two events s1 shows us in direct succession are 1. izzy trying to manipulate ed into killing stede, then stabbing stede himself, in order to separate him from ed; and 2. stede contriving an entire treasure hunt in order to get ed to stay with him. these aren't equally deranged responses, izzy clearly takes the cake here, but they're both very elaborate ways of failing to say one and the same thing to ed, which is basically just don't leave me.

to end on a lighter note, they're extra. their entire first meeting is them trying to out-drama each other (and not hating it at all, for a second there). we only see this a few times, but whenever izzy thinks he has the upper hand, he's kind of funny and almost like. playful? in a way that i find mostly comparable to stede when he's planning his fuckery in ep 6. so when the two of them meet in ep 2, they're actually so fun and dynamic together! izzy's silly little flourishes when he shreds stede's shirt, stede's stupid haunted island story, “this isn't over mr bonnet” with that evil little smile. “good, 'cause i kind of enjoyed it”. they both did. i know this

i think especially on izzy's part, there's an element of “i have that same weakness, but i repress/handle/ignore it as any man/pirate should” to his abject loathing of stede, a begrudging of liberties taken that's not entirely without envy. stede cares a lot less, which is where their differences come in again; stede is nowhere near as obsessive, possessive, or angry as izzy. he is, for all his hard-headedness, a lot more well-adjusted, and has no real reason to single this one man out as the bane of his existence. but i still think their few similarities play some role in their (imo endlessly entertaining) relationship – they did, after all, fall for the same complex, difficult, layered and loveable man.

[normal-thoughts-official]

Thots on a figure skating au??? 🅱️lease

hmmmmmmm ok so disclaimer that i know nothing about figure skating so i'm just making up whatever

you got me in a difficult position here cuz on the one hand, i'd love for magnus to be a trainer/coreographer. i think it suits him wonderfully and that while obviously he is great at dancing and loves it, i think that he's more on the creative side of things, you know? so i could imagine something like figure skater alec and trainer magnus. and like alec is a shadowhunter so of course that demands a high level of control over your body that is similar to a figure skater's

but at the same time its funny to me to try to imagine alec figure skating when hes a fucking giant like that because like hes so big?? and when ur big like that ur kind of like... mandatorily graceless and clumsy to a degree methinks (not in a like oh hes always tripping and blushing way, more like the "you're on my leg, you asshole" blooper), because things aren't made for you. like really its an actual matter of accessibility sometimes, especially if you actually have the proportions of a real person like alec does (well, except for the yaoi mcfuckhands. they look big even compared to the rest of his ridiculous body he just b standing there and im like christ edward fingerhands we get it) cuz then Everything Is Bigger Than It Should ya feel

so yeah i can't really imagine alec in like, spandex being all graceful and shit, but at the same time rationally i could imagine that for his character, but also no. so i can't really go with that idea without laughing

but also i can't imagine him as a trainer/coreographer and i don't know who the fuck else is involved with figure skating anyway so is alec like, the janitor or some shit???? some fucking basketball player who sees him at the olympics??? lord help me i have no idea

OK SO IT'S BEEN LIKE 5 MONTHS SINCE I FIRST PUT THE FIRST PART OF THIS ANSWER IN MY DRAFTS (rip anon im so sorry) and i THINK i got it!!! alec could be like, the uhh personal trainer? physical trainer? YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN like the one dedicated to making sure the figure skater's body is. capable of. dancing. idk how to explain it but you do get it don't you??? ok

i'm mostly going off my dancing experience here (i had dance classes for like, 10 years of my life, and ugh i miss it) and like besides dancing you always have to train like lifting and doing localized training and stuff because you can't really dance if you don't have strength and flexibility and stamina and all that stuff. the only time i would willingly work out was for dancing lmao especially when i was in my hiphop crew. anyway

and while for me the one responsible for that part of training was the same person as my teacher/coreographer (or when i was doing hiphop it was just. on me to do that lmao but i'm not complaining) i figure when you're a professional and not just a dumb kid that's probably two different people, right? if not it is now. idc

i could go with figure skater magnus and trainer alec but also im really feeling the dynamics of coreographer magnus and trainer alec? like it'd be cute/funny to see them trying to work together for that ya know. so sorry that this feels less like a figure skating au especially since it took me so long to answer it but aaa

but also i mean as a coreographer magnus would have to know how to do it obviously so you would most definitely get a figure skating magnus. alec going to close up the gym and seeing magnus practicing by himself just for fun, anyone? and magnus looks gorgeous as ever way more gorgeous than whoever they're coaching but that's just alec's opinion and magnus kind of stops like "oh, i didn't know you were here" and alec's like "oh oops. anyway keep going you're great at this" and magnus feels a little self conscious but soon he gets lost in it again because really he loves doing this and alec is just appreciating the artwork :)

ANYWAY the dynamics of trainer and coreographer are fun. magnus showing up to alec like "hey alec so i need some heavy lifting on them arms cuz meliorn [idk i don't have any better ideas for who they could be coaching] is gonna carry an elephant onstage" and alec is like "uhh" and meliorn is like "a fake elephant" and alec is like "i mean good but i still have questions"

and magnus is like "obviously we would never use trained elephants, the way they are treated is inhumane" and alec is like "you're completely right but also that's your only worry when it comes to meliorn carrying a real elephant?" and magnus is like "i'm sure you could pull it off ;) you're the best after all" and alec gives him that amused smile

advantages of meliorn: they don't care about the flirting anyway since they are literally Like That too

also magnus and alec working out together off the clock, some ogling on both sides and just generally funny competitive shenanigans. especially cuz like magnus is hella fit but alec works in that stupid gym so he knows what he's about. and alec's all smug about it like "i can lift more than you :)" and magnus is like "oh yeah? let's see how you do in the ring" "no" "yes" "no" "why, can you not do it?" "yes. i know my limits" "well that's too bad... because you're going in anyway"

cue alec falling on his face probably but also like goddamn it he's competitive and he's not gonna let magnus have too much of a win so he tries his best rip. anyway then we probably get some hip touching bullshit when magnus tries to explain it to him and magnus is flirting the whole time and alec's laughing and it's sweet

i have half a mind to make up some angsty backstory about how magnus used to be a figure skater too and his partner was (you'll never guess it) camille and then she pulled the rug from under him and he kinda left the competitions altogether for a while. and then he came back as a coreographer (listen, he loves to dance, but creating is one of his favorite parts and he was always involved in coreographing anyway. his old coreographer and him were always having a blast and camille did not like it) and this is kinda his debut as a coreographer at some big shot competition idk and he just feels like he has so much to prove?

lol bonus camille's new coreographer is lorenzo so the hating magnus squad is in thick against him and it's a whole thing you know

OH MEGA ANGSTY camille got him out of the competition because she outed him as trans and he was declassified because something something transphobic bullcrap so he wasn't allowed anymore. i assume this was like right after they won because of course she wouldn't compromise herself, or maybe it was at the beginning/pre-stages of the championship so she had time to find a new partner. yeah that last one and then she won with the coreography that he had helped them create. im saying she did that because he broke up with her finally after years of abuse both in work and out of it so she did that as revenge or to make sure he couldn't have his passion anymore. and it took magnus years to build himself back up as a coreographer this time because transphobia (and racism) in the market but guess what? he is extremely smart and talented and creative so now he is back at the championship and he wants to show the world what they have been missing on

hmmmmm also i implied this is in pairs since magnus and camille used to be one so i think meliorn's pair would probably be izzy and maybe that's why alec's involved? like he was already a personal trainer or whatever which his parents were fine with even though it's not of course as grand as they would've liked (meaning they were total asses about it) but when izzy decided to go into sports/art they lost their shit and didn't want to support her so, you know, alec did and became her trainer. which is just as well because he is the best so like, deal with it. not saying they like kicked her out or anything (esp cuz i imagine part of alec's reasoning is that izzy stood by him when he came out and if they didn't kick him out over being gay they wouldn't kick her out over being a skater but y'know) but they definitely wouldn't support her so they both also feel like they have a lot to prove

lol me: i have half a mind to make this angsty. also me: paragraphs and paragraphs of angsty backstory

anyway they win obviously idk what to tell you they just do cuz we stan talent. camille is second for maximum drama and vengeance, the lightwoods try to get the spotlight once izzy wins and she and alec tell them to fuck off, they advocate for specific rules prohibiting ppl to declassify trans ppl over being trans and that's all i have tbh

sorry it took so long to answer daiudsauihda but i hope that outline is at least interesting for you!

[snarky-gourmet]

She deleted so I guess all of you got what you wanted. She won’t answer messages on kakao or texts. She didn’t deserve this.

Sorry this took me more than a day to get to, I don’t usually check my inbox unless I get a notif, and then it took a while to write everything out as it is quite lengthy and then on top of that the incidents related to this topic kept persisting literally as I wrote it :)

I checked the time stamp on this when I saw it and it seems like you sent this about an hour after I talked to Madds’ friend yesterday–we had a very civil and pleasant talk that cleared up a lot of stuff and she informed me that Madds is doing just fine, which I’m extremely glad about. **Edit: on March 21st, 2 days after the first conversation between us, I received messages from Madds’ friend to alert us that Madds has contacted an attorney, and then continued to falsely accuse those of us in the group chat, including those who have never had ANY involvement in this from the beginning of the disagreement until now, of stalking and harassing her. Those screenshots will be included at the end of the post.**

There seems to be a lot of rumours going on and a lot of people are under the wrong impression given the fact that Maddison has spread falsehood after falsehood in order to make herself look like the victim in a situation that should have been initially so insignificant, there was no valid reason for victim-hood on either side.

This conflict with Madds has been ongoing for several months now, and all of us involved are honestly done with the false accusations, vague-posting, and borderline harassment. As a result, the decision to make this post was reached.

This post’s purpose is to clear our names and make it known that the things Madds has been saying about us are not true. We do not wish for ANYONE to go after Madds or her friends. We would never want harm to come to her. All we want is for this to stop, and according to her party, that’s what she wants as well, so here we go.

Let me make it clear:

None of us from the fandom-oriented group chat Madds used to be in, and then left on her own after a disagreement, have ever:

-Stalked Madds through her public blog or through any other platforms

-Bullied her off the site

-Stabbed her in the back

-Sent her anon hate/death threats or asked others to on our behalf

-Done anything at all that was malicious towards Madds at any time

The only times any of us have contacted Madds personally since she left the group chat have been to try and reason with her, to try and console her, to try and ask her to stop making vague posts about us, to stop blaming us for the anons she was getting, and to ask her to stop trying to turn shared friends/mutuals against us and let the incident go.

The only times any of us have been to Madds’ new blog after she deleted her old one have been to check on her well being, as we would never want harm to come to her, as well as when she has mentioned any of us by name and people who were shared friends/mutuals brought it to our attention.

I will not be mentioning all names of people involved in this conflict as none of us from the group chat at least, wish to drag any more people into this mess who really didn’t have anything to do with it.

Until this point, my personal role in all of this has been little more than a bystander. I am still an active member of the group chat that Madds left, and I know everyone in there very well. I have witnessed what has happened since the start and with the permission of everyone else from the gc, I’m happy to provide answers as to what has actually been going on.

Below the cut is a timeline containing all screenshots we have of everything that has gone on from the beginning of the conflict leading up to a few days ago now, when Madds apparently made the choice to delete her blog completely unprompted by any of us, who were all making it a point to distance ourselves more than before after she threatened to call the cops on us in a text post because she thought we were stalking her.

Tw for in-depth mentions of suicide baiting and implications of self-harm among other things that may be distressing for some to read.

–

-

The initial disagreement that started all of this took place on November 21st last year, and it is quite frankly, embarrassing and unnecessary that such a small scale disagreement escalated to the extent that it did, and is still ongoing despite our (the gc’s) attempts to reason with, and then when that didn’t work, cease contact with Madds.

We were discussing Key’s upcoming album when Madds (sunshinekibum) brought up how she wishes that sh/awols were more hyped about it, which was a valid point of discussion to be made.

Madds expressed how she felt that she and other lockets couldn’t be happy without others having a negative reaction to it. Kiri brought up the fact that it was close to December, and therefore it was not anyone’s fault if they were not in high spirits, but made it clear that lockets had every right to be happy and there was nothing holding them back from that. Madds apologised, appearing to have taken it the wrong way, then removed herself from the server.

After she had left, Kiri messaged Madds via tumblr to talk things through.

Kiri reiterated that due to the timing of Key’s album being released, she and some other sh/awols were having a hard time being excited and clarified that her words were not meant to be taken as a personal attack on Madds. She apologised, as did Madds, but Madds did not understand that Kiri was not claiming her words to be insensitive. She instead appeared to be using the incident to beat herself up. Kiri pointed out to Madds that she had made a valid point and the way she felt was justified, so there was no reason she should be so harsh on herself.

Madds then explained the reason behind why she left the group chat, citing a difference in viewpoints as well as a desire to not cause any harm, which she had never caused in the first place. Efforts were made to try to get her to see that and possibly invite her back to the gc on her own terms.

Kiri brings up how Madds is misunderstanding her words and feelings about the disagreement in the group chat and doesn’t seem to be interested in seeing her side to things. Madds responds by clarifying that her words were not aimed at Kiri specifically but rather meant as a generalised statement from what she had personally seen. She also acknowledged that proximity to December as a factor, but also stated that she still felt as if she were going to face criticism for being excited by those who were not. Kiri then defends herself, citing Madds’ word choice and tone as the reason for her own words in the group chat.

She continues and points out that Madds is the one beating herself up in this situation, and that no one thought ill of her and no one was harmed by Madds’ words. Kiri then clarifies again what exactly the source of the disagreement was, and requests that Madds does not twist her words as a means to punish herself. Madds apologises.

After this, a bit of time passed, and Madds changed her Tumblr URL to “imaginemp3″. During this same time, there was a post made by Madds that Kiri later alludes to, that appears to reference the disagreement that happened between her and Kiri in the gc, suggesting that she had resentment, or at the very least, remaining displeasure with Kiri for said disagreement. It was later deleted.

Shortly after, Kiri deactivated her previous blog due to an extremely high amount of anon hate and desire to distance herself from the drama at hand. A mutual friend of ours and Madds was also receiving such anons.

After Kiri deactivated, Madds began receiving anons as well, written in the same tonal and vocabulary pattern as the ones Kiri and the mutual friend received, suggesting that they were all sent by the same person. We suspect that Madds is the one who sent them to Kiri, the other recipient, and herself as well. This is the event that Madds claims was all of us in the gc “bullying her off the site”. None of us sent those anons to her. Unfortunately, no screenshots of the ones Kiri nor the other person received exist due to A) the upsetting nature of the messages and B) at the time they received the messages, there was no reason to save evidence of them, seeing as how it was on in retrospect that we suspected Madds of being behind them.

Above are some of the anons that Madds had received, accusing her for being the reason Kiri had deactivated and for suicide baiting her. As a result, Madds makes the last post at the top of the image.

Thinking the worst, many of the people from the group chat and who followed Madds reached out to her via dms and text.

Among those people were Izzy (keyjapandebut) and someone who will be referred to as Sunny, as it is unnecessary to bring their name into undesired drama. Sunny is the 3rd person besides Kiri and Madds to have received the anons just mentioned.

Izzy initiates the conversation and tries to make sure that Madds is alright after the anons she got. Madds deflects, expressing concern for Kiri as priority even after Izzy states that Kiri is fine. Madds continues to place all of the blame on herself unnecessarily. This is when she alludes to the vent post previously mentioned, denying that it was about Kiri or the subject of their disagreement. (Due to the timing of the anons that both Kiri and then Madds received however, as well as the wording in Madds’ post, the opposite appears to be true. Izzy attempts to talk Madds down from the place she was in, and he tries to reason with her.

After Izzy’s first attempt to explain to Madds that she can still talk to Kiri if she needed to, Madds claims that she had been blocked by Kiri on the platforms she could have reached her on, which was not true according to what Kiri had shown us. The most likely explanation, if Madds had indeed sent 4 different discord messages to Kiri, but they had not been delivered, is that since they no longer had a shared server, discord would not deliver Madds’ messages to Kiri. However, when a message does not go through on discord, a bot will reply to the sender with the reason why.

Madds then states that she had requested Sunny to give her phone number to Kiri.

(*There is a missing screen shot before the first message from Izzy in this set. They were taken to show Kiri during this last attempt of his to mediate between the two, then deleted from his device immediately after, so he does not remember the context of the first message.)

Madds once again just asks for Izzy to deliver the message that she says sorry to Kiri and the rest of us. At the same time that Izzy is talking to Madds, he is delivering what Madds asks him to to Kiri. Kiri asks Izzy to relay to Madds that all she wants from this is for Madds to move on. To this request, Madds says she cannot and says that we “can all go be fine without her”. Izzy asks what Madds meant by this, reassures her that what she is suggesting is not necessary for a resolution, and that she had not caused Kiri the amount of distress she thinks she caused her from the disagreement in the gc. To this, Madds seems to shut off, repeating “okay im glad she’s okay”. Izzy picks up on the fact that Madds isn’t really listening anymore, and points it out. Madds continues to just say that “we don’t have to worry about her”.

Izzy attempts to explain as someone who was still on good terms with Madds at this point in time that ceasing all concern over her wasn’t possible, but Madds argued, claiming that since we “all have each other there’s no reason any of us need her”. Izzy sees that as long as Madds is acting like this and continuing to make herself out to both be the sole reason behind all of this as well as the victim at the same time, and tries to reach a resolution with Madds. Madds then says goodbye, that she’ll be okay, and that she is sorry for causing trouble, but will “make sure it doesn’t ever happen again” (that clearly didn’t happen). This was Izzy’s last interaction with Madds.

None of us blamed her for anything that was going on at this point, nor did we ever say anything to imply that we wanted her gone or to feel guilt. All we wanted was for her to stop beating herself up so much–as none of us saw a reason why the disagreement back in November should have caused such distress–and to listen to the words we had to say, as we were genuinely concerned for Madds’ well being.

It was only after later examination of the language that she used during her talk with Izzy, the fact that Madds was still connecting this back to the rather small disagreement that took place, her initial reaction to the disagreement, and the eventual realisation that all of the anons that had been received by Madds, Kiri, and Sunny had the same syntax, that an inkling of suspicion ever rose up in regards to Madds. Izzy in particular became suspicious of Madds due to his first encounter with her when her url was peachykibummie. Madds was a stranger to him, a stranger receiving suicide-baiting anons with the exact same syntax as the ones she, Kiri, and Sunny received. Izzy’s efforts to console her led to a friendship that is now history.

A little while after Izzy and Madds had their conversation, Madds and Sunny had talked. Sunny had told Madds that Kiri wished to speak with her.

(Kiri: Blue Text —— Madds: Grey Text)

The second message that Kiri sends addresses the apparent overreaction Madds has displayed since their disagreement. At this point, suspicion that Madds was acting like this out of desire for some sort of attention was starting to rise up.

To Kiri’s questioning, Madds acts as if she does not understand what Kiri is referring to. Kiri was aware of the way Madds had spoken in the chat with Izzy, as he had been the middleman between Kiri and Madds.

At the bottom of the first image in the set/top of the second image, Kiri brings up the fact that she did not receive any sort of messages from Madds as she had claimed from the conversation with Izzy. Kiri also brings up the post that Madds had made that seemed to have been about her and that seems to have kicked off the series of anons that Kiri, Madds, and Sunny all got.

Madds responds by claiming that she never lied and that Kiri deleted and blocked her over the post she had made, when in reality, Kiri had deactivated due to the anons, and denies that the post was about Kiri, despite the subject matter of the post being the same as the disagreement right down to the details.

(Last text cut off on the bottom reads “Move on. I have.”)

In this series of texts Madds does not understand that everyone was scared for her and that is why multiple individuals checked up on her after she made an alarming goodbye post after the anons she got were suicide baiting her. She then tries to turn the tables on Kiri and accuses her of being the one who is still upset over the disagreement, when the thing Kiri is actually upset over is the post, the anons, Madds essentially disregarding everyone’s concern while attempting to cause guilt at the same time, and then lying about several different things that have happened.

In Kiri’s message she brings up that it was believed that Madds was the one behind all of the anons, as supported by a multitude of details about them. She then clarifies the fact that people checked on her out of concern, as previously mentioned. Kiri also brings up the apparent guilt-tripping that Madds is doing and mentions that she wishes that Madds gets help, but doesn’t wish for Madds to use her as a means to punish herself, which is what she was doing. Lastly, Kiri expresses that she only wanted to ensure that Madds was alright, and that at the end of it all, nothing in the disagreement was important enough for all of this to come out of it.

Those were the last messages exchanged until December 28th.

On December 28th, Kiri has messaged Madds prefacing her request that she drop the situation once and for all after after Kiri had heard from Sunny that Madds was still not past the conflict, and had worked Sunny up enough to cause serious upset, with an apology. Kiri then brings up the fact that she blocked Madds in an attempt to put everything behind them and create distance.

Madds retorts that she had not tried to contact anyone except for Sunny since Kiri had blocked her. Madds then argues that what she says to Sunny about Kiri, who is, once again, someone who is a friend of both Kiri and Madds at this point, is none of her business and that Kiri has “her clean break’ due to the fact that Madds has not talked to her directly.

While it is true that Madds had not spoken to Kiri personally, she had tried to turn Sunny against Kiri, making Kiri out to be malicious towards Madds, and Madds herself the victim. That is what Kiri refers to in her first message in the second picture.

Madds says that it was an honest question for Sunny, and that she is allowed to ask questions and have her own opinions like everyone else. No one had implied that she was not allowed to have her own thoughts and ask questions to Sunny, the question was simply why she had done so if she had supposedly moved on. Kiri acknowledges Madds’ point, and continues asking what Madds’ goal was in asking if she really wanted nothing to do with her.

Madds responds by claiming that her inquiry to Sunny was out of concern for Sunny. Kiri then brings up the fact that while doing so, Madds had caused a significant level of distress to Sunny. Madds responds, suggesting that she did not understand how she had hurt Sunny. Kiri explains that there wouldn’t be a point due to Madds sole response to previous attempts at both Sunny and Kiri explaining how she has caused them harm has been that she “saw how it could come off that way” while never acknowledging what she had done. Kiri then elaborates by telling Madds that Sunny had said to Kiri that Madds had breached Sunny’s trust by attempting to turn her against Kiri.

Madds says that she is getting different stories on the matter, but apologizes for causing issues for Sunny and Kiri. Madds then brings up that her hurting Sunny does not excuse Kiri from hurting Sunny, which was never an argument Kiri tried to make in the situation. Madds also brings up that she wishes to continue the cease of contact that was previously between her and Kiri, and attempts to deflect any further discussion on the matter by claiming that Sunny does not want to be in the middle, which she would not have been if Madds had not tried to turn Sunny against Kiri.

Kiri points out that Madds has no knowledge of how she and Sunny had resolved things between them, and brings attention to the fact that Kiri has not mentioned Madds to Sunny or anyone else, but Madds was in fact mentioning Kiri in poor regards to Sunny, and that was the issue currently at hand.

Madds claims that Kiri is the one upset, and not herself, despite the fact that she had attempted to turn Sunny against Kiri for no apparent reason. Madds again cites concern for Sunny as being the motive behind asking why Sunny was still friends with Kiri. Madds apologises that her actions had hurt Kiri but does not feel as if she was in the wrong for her actions as they were supposedly out of concern for Sunny. She then claims again that she had let the disagreement go a while ago.

Kiri, done with being given the run-around by Madds, suggests a mutual agreement between the two of them to not bring each other up in any capacity any more, and that the two of them part ways and have their peace. Madds responds negatively, does not agree to the proposition, and again brings up that Kiri had contacted her first, which would not have happened had Madds not upset Sunny, and again pushes that what she says to others is none of Kiri’s business, apparently even if it directly involves Kiri.

To this, Kiri says that Sunny is not Madds’ friend, and Madds deflects by saying that Kiri and Sunny have different opinions on that matter and that it is not her issue. The last messages are sent by Kiri and are a request for Madds to gain maturity when dealing with conflict.

After this, there was no contact between any of us and Madds for a significant period of time. Madds had deleted her blog of her own volition. We had no reason to bring up her name in any capacity in the group chat, therefore we didn’t.

When things had settled, Kiri had created a new blog. Sometime during this duration, Madds had also remade and began claiming that we bullied her off the site. She began making vague posts that were in regards to us as well as posts that mentioned Kiri’s name and old URL specifically. These posts ranged from petty to the more malicious ones that were of Madds telling people the falsehood that we drove her off Tumblr.

There was no stalking involved to find her new blog, and to accuse us of such a thing is ludicrous. We are all in the same fandom, and due to this, Madds’ new blog was stumbled upon. We had no idea it was actually her until people who knew us alerted us of easytolovemp3 (Madds) talking shit about us, specifically Kiri. 2 and 2 were put together. Still then, only a handful of us who were actively present in the gc’s conversation at this time actually knew this was Madds, as the rest of us, namely myself and 1 other individual, were at our jobs at the time. Izzy and Kiri both blocked easytolovemp3 as soon as they knew it was Madds, not wishing to have contact with her.

Below is an image of a one of the petty incidents, essentially falsely accusing Kiri of being a kboo. This was brought to our attention through someone who was a shared mutual of both Madds and Kiri on their new blogs. You can see Kiri mentioned by name, and that is how this got around to us.

We were never actively dwelling on Madds’ new blog (or stalking as she put it) and until 2 weeks ago, two of us still didn’t know her new URL. One of us only found out yesterday. As a result, we do not have screenshots of all of the things she said during this time, nor did we save any of the screenshots others sent to us. The thought that this would be a still escalating issue at this point did not cross our minds back then, and honestly? We didn’t want to save the needlessly upsetting posts Madds had made.

Eventually, Kiri started receiving anon hate on her new blog and quietly abandoned it.

Sunny and Madds are still in contact at that point. Due to unrelated reasons, Izzy had deleted his blog some time in December. He recreated a new one this month with the purpose to have it as an art blog. It does not have his english name on it and the focus was on a different fandom.

Now we get to the point on the timeline that took place last week (the week of March 11th).

I had direct messaged Izzy on discord asking if he knew that Madds had deleted all of her posts except for several alarming and concerning ones, and he checked it out. I had gotten word from this from a friend. This was the first time that I had been to Madds’ blog and the first time I even knew this was her.

On her blog, everything was deleted except for posts of her once again accusing us of stalking her, as well as her essentially suggesting that she was going to commit suicide.

Both Izzy and I were extremely worried for Madds, as we would never want anything bad to happen to her. Despite the fact that she had accused the gc of stalking, bullying her off the site, sending her death threats, stabbing her in the back, etc., the fact that it seemed like she was going to harm herself was extremely upsetting. She is someone who we used to be friends with, after all.

In the first image, Madds claims in the tags of the bottom post that half of us have her blocked, which was not true. Only Izzy on his old blog and Kiri on her new one had her blocked. Izzy did not yet have Madds blocked on the newest blog he had just made. Everyone else in the gc had also not blocked her because some of us didn’t know about her blog until the most recent post about us “bullying her off tumblr” came to our attention and some of us had absolutely no involvement with the original disagreement and therefore, had no reason to even think about Madds. Kayden, for example, never had her blocked and had no involvement in any of this besides his proximity to Kiri and being in the group chat. We had indeed not interacted with her, but her claim that half of us had her blocked is incorrect.

We never sent her any of the anons she got on her imaginemp3 account, therefore her claims that we ruined the “one place she felt safe” and “ruined almost all her friendships” have no grounds and seem to be made purely for the sake of getting attention. Again, we strongly suspect that she was the one who sent her own self those anons. Additionally, if you recall the conversations Madds had with Kiri, she is told what exactly she did wrong: the issue was not the trivial disagreement back in November of last year, but the way she was spreading rumours, twisting words, and trying to turn people against us. Her claim to be the one “crying about it almost daily struggling with figuring out what she did wrong” makes no sense.

Shortly after we viewed the post, she had blocked both Izzy and I. Odd since neither of us had made contact with her or mentioned her in any way. It is unclear how she got Izzy’s new blog’s URL as his blog is no longer Sh/inee-oriented, has his English name no where on it, and no one outside of the group chat was privy to his new blog belonging to him. This, along with the timing of some of the vague posts Madds made previously, lead us to the conclusion that we believe someone in our group chat was essentially serving as a spy and sending Madds information on us. It does not add up any other way. The person/people who were possible suspects were removed from the group chat and we have had no further incidents directly tied to our suspicions.

On the left there is a new post coming after the ones in the left-hand image from the last set. On the right are more anons that she got.

The message on the top is the only reason Izzy and I continued checking on Madds’ blog at this point despite both of us now being blocked. It was to check on someone who seems to have posted a final goodbye–that’s what you do when you’re worried about someone, and we had more than reason to be worried.

Please take note of the one anon with the “x” signing the end of their message for later reference.

Above is an image of the post Madds had made after the ones in the previous set. Izzy had checked Madds’ blog early in the morning of last Tuesday, the 19th, to see if she was alright. He messaged me to tell me about it, as Madds was now threatening legal action against us, and I checked for myself, extremely alarmed.

In this post you can see a whole list of accusations Madds has against us, some very bitter adjectives, a lot of nasty names, and of course, the threat to contact the police. The nature of this post speaks for itself, so I don’t really feel the need to dissect it too much. “Terrified to make any move online because I knew you all would be waiting to ruin me again,” however, is especially interesting due to the fact that she was the one slandering Kiri’s name in particular, and every single time Kiri got a new blog, she received an avalanche of anons extremely similar to the others she had gotten before, some even bringing up personal matters that she only ever mentioned in the privacy of the group chat.

Considering the fact that we had done nothing in this extensive list, and she would have known this considering she was the one who had fabricated these baseless accusations, her threats to call the police on a group entirely composed of minorities, the majority being non-white and not a single one of us being cishet, honestly comes off as insidious.

(Some anons that were extremely similar in nature have been omitted due to the length of this post.)

On the left side of the screen shot, the first anon censors out Kiri’s most well known past URL, blingblingis. Madds clarifies that she was previously imaginemp3 before she deleted that blog and remade. “What she tried to pull with me,” alludes to the fabricated stalking, bullying, and other false accusations directed at Kiri and the rest of us. Madds then mentions in the tags that she knows that Kiri has a new blog, however she claims to not know the URL.

The second image in the screenshot can be taken as proof that Madds had spread rumours about Kiri bullying her off the site. Unless Madds sent this anon to her own self, in which case it is evidence of something else.

Please continue to note the “x” signing the end of that anon.

After taking note of all of this, Izzy and I both decided that it was in our best interest to no longer check on Madds even out of concern for her safety. We didn’t want for her to mistake that as stalking and push her towards legal action. It was unclear how Madds even knew we were checking on her at this point.

Later that day, I briefly and vaguely mentioned in the dms to a tumblr user I am friends with what was going on. Without me mentioning Madds by name, only (to be read in sarcastic tones) “How great it was to have someone who you used to be friends with threatening to call the cops on you and your friends over falsified accusations of stalking, harassing, intimidation, and bullying, all because she didn’t know how to handle a tiny fight over kpop,” she, who will be referred to as Moon, immediately knew who I was talking about.

As it turns out, Moon and Madds had spoken before, and Moon told me in a separate message that Madds was giving out a list of names of everyone in the group chat who she was accusing of stalking her, to those who messaged her asking for it. She also mentioned that Madds had told her the fabricated story of everything she claimed we had done to her, which made “us all sound fucking awful”.

The next day, Moon alerted me that Madds had deleted her tumblr out of the blue.

About an hour after Moon had told me that, Madds’ friend, who I mentioned way back at the very beginning of this post, messaged me.

Due to the fact that this individual is a minor that Madds has dragged into a dispute between adults and used as a middleman, they will be referred to as Nova to protect their identity. Please do not ask for their url. Please do not seek them out.

Nova begins interrogating me, who had no in-depth involvement prior to checking on Madds’ blog during her most recent alarming series of posts. Nova demands to know why the supposed “stalking” is going on “even though no one seems to want to talk to her after all of this” (correct!)

I clarify that none of us are stalking Madds, nor have ever stalked her or acted with any form of malice towards her. I also bring up the fact that I didn’t even know easytolovemp3 was Madds until my friend had seen the post making false accusations against us and told me. The fact that she did not have me blocked until after I looked at her blog is also something I brought light to, as well as the fact that the only time any of us from the gc have made contact with her since she left have been to ask her to stop posting about us.

Nova then presses for why we all still wanted to know about Madds and expresses that she thinks that it would’ve been better for us all just to leave it.

I do my best to remain extra civil during the exchange, as I do not wish to make things somehow worse than being threatened with legal action.

At the top of the left side, Nova has sent another message directly following her last one, asking for further clarification on the situation that’s taking place.

I provide a watered down and brief summary of what had happened to that point. I also state that the only reason anyone from the gc even knew about Madds’ new blog was due to the fact that she had literally mentioned Kiri by name. That Madds’ name was only brought up when Madds herself had done something directly affecting any of us, and that was also the only time Kiri had contacted her, was also brought up.

Nova asks how word got around that Madds remade and I clarify again that it was due to the fact that she had mentioned Kiri by name and everyone who knew put 2 and 2 together.

Nova presses again to know if we’re still worried about her, and I answer by saying that we are just worried about whether she may hurt herself, but no one has checked on her blog recently due to the fact that we don’t want our concern to be taken as “stalking”.

Nova accepts my explanation and then claims that Madds is alright and is “pretty much completely moved on now”, which is exactly the impression we all got from being threatened with legal action (this is sarcasm).

Not wanting to stir any issues between Nova and myself, as the conversation was actually going in a very civil manner, I say that I am glad that Madds is alright after her previous posts.

Nova thanks me for answering the questions and I assume that we are done with That.

However, on the 21st I received the first message on the right side of the screen shot from Nova.

Sunny has stated that she got the same message from Nova. She tried to calmly explain herself and Nova replied by telling her she doesn’t have the right to feel upset, in spite of Sunny’s urging that she didn’t do anything.

Nova notifies me that Madds has followed through with her threat of legal action in the form of contacting an attorney, and has named a handful of us from the group chat that she has accused of stalking and harassing her. She then tells me to pass along the message, which I do.

I write back, asking Nova to tell Madds that none of us have done the things she is accusing us of, and now attempting to prosecute us for, and that I am planning to make a post with every single screen shot of proof we are in possession of proving that she has lied and fabricated every single part of her story she has spread around about us as a response to this anon I am answering right now. I then pass along the promise from the gc that we all plan to fully cooperate if Madds gets an attorney, as we have done nothing wrong. This promise still stands.

Nova starts out by demanding to know how I knew her name, to which I respond that Kiri had told me who she was when I passed her warning of legal action along. I then begin questioning Nova as to what exactly Madds wants from all of this, as it has been literally months, and not only has she not let it go, but she has progressively made the situation worse for every single person involved, and has even dragged people who were never initially involved into it.

To my question, Nova claims that all Madds wanted was “to be left alone”. Nova then states that she remade with the intent of none of us ever finding her again, despite Madds mentioning Kiri by name, and then carries on to imply that it was somehow unthinkable that myself, Kiri, and the rest of the gc had access to Madds’ public blog that well over half of us were never blocked from. Additionally, Nova brings up the fact that Kiri had vented to Sunny about the fact that Madds was still not letting things go between them and was talking shit about all of us without any provocation whatsoever on any of our behalves. Nova also claims that “none of this would have happened if Kiri had just left her blog alone and stopped dragging (people?) into it” despite the fact that Kiri, nor any of us were actively “stalking” Madds’ blog, and we were all trying to stay away from her. Once again: Madds was the one dragging people into this. Nova again reiterates her claim that Madds “just wanted to be left alone and requests for all of us to “let it be over”, which is something we were all very much trying to do before shit hit the fan.

I make it clear that “Izzy blocked Madds as soon as he found out it was her in order to prevent any contact with her. Alex hasn’t been in the gc in forever. Kayden’s only association with this is that he is in the group chat. Kiri only found out about Madds’ new blog due to the fact that Madds kept on vagueing about her” (and blocked her immediately)  and that due to the fact that we are all in the same fandom, it’s not as far fetched at all as Nova, and apparently Madds, are claiming it to be that Madds public blog was found out by us when people notified us of the slander going on.

Nova only says “She’s gone you don’t have to worry about it” in response to my message.

I bring up the fact that Madds is the only one still hung up over everything, and point out that we never talk about her unless she has done something to slander us recently, as we have no reason to. Again, I make it clear that we never did any of the things Madds claims we did and that she has painted herself as the victim in what, in reality, was a victimless disagreement. Lastly, I express exasperation with the situation, stating I don’t know what else Nova wants me to say here.

Nova responds by repeating that Madds is gone, which sounds like she is suggesting she is now dead in order to make us feel guilty. Thanks! Shame on you.

From this point until otherwise noted, it is a collection of accounts from Sunny as well as texts between Kiri and Alex to further back everything up.

Here is Kiri messaging Alex to confirm that Alex has only talked to Madds once, when they had messaged her after the initial disagreement and Madds was receiving anons telling her to kill herself among other things.

This is a quote from a conversation between Sunny and Madds after Sunny found out that Madds had posted threatening to call the cops on us. Screenshots might be able to be retrieved, but the original conversation between the two has been deleted since it took place.

Sunny: whatever you do, I am begging you to leave Izzy out of this. Please think about what the consequences could be about calling the cops on a mentally ill trans black man. Please.

Madds: I don’t care. If he wasn’t involved he should have nothing to worry about. Maybe he should have thought about that.

Here is a screenshot of texts between Kiri and Sunny discussing that Madds had then told the same thing to Sunny that she had said about Izzy:

Sunny has also provided the following statements:

“She (Madds) would often message me to ask how I feel about this stuff and said “don’t you know they hate me for things I didn’t do” and then mock me when I said I was not understanding.”

“(Madds) Suicide baited me when she knows that’ll work to scare me because of my PTSD.” This is in reference to the fact that Sunny’s childhood best friend killed herself and Sunny had confided this information to Madds when they were on friendly terms.

“She sends me this shit whenever I unblock her to tell her to stop posting about y’all, then threatens to delete and/or hurt/kill herself when I don’t feel sorry for her:

“

Sunny has also stated that she received this same exact anon that I am answering right now! That is so interesting and not at all suspicious or questionable!

Now if I can please ask you to recall the anons with the x signing the end of their messages.

This is a screenshot provided by Kiri (Kirious) of an anon an unrelated blog had received while she and Madds were still friends, before the conflict had started.

In this screenshot of the conversation in the group chat, you can see a photo sent by Kiri of that anon, calling blingblingis a “known bully and liar” as well as “literal trash”. The anon then tells the blog to turn off anon if Kiri sends her “minions”, presumably meaning the rest of us in the gc, after them. The message is signed with an “x”. We suspect that this was Madds sending that anon to that blog due to the fact that it is signed with an x just like the ones Madds had gotten.

Also just like the one that Madds’ friend, Nova had received:

(Screen shot taken by me after Nova messaged me yesterday and before Kiri told me who she was. I had visited Nova’s blog trying to figure out who the hell I was talking to)

The common use of the word “minions” is also a very interesting coincidence. Make of those what you will, but it’s clear that it’s likely either Madds herself or someone “doing her bidding for her”. They have censored Kiri’s name out.

Several of the anons that Madds was receiving longer ago, before this mess, that caused Izzy to initially reach out to Madds at the start of their friendship were also tagged with x’s.

Lastly, but still related, here is a screenshot of the group chat when Kiri got anons mentioning her home life, something that she only discussed in the group chat, and therefore, was only known to members of the group. This also took place before November 21st. These anons were sent to Kiri after the unrelated blog got the anon signed with an “x”.

Unfortunately, due to the fact that having to provide a ton of screenshots to clear our names after all this damage Madds did was unforeseen, screenshots of the actual anons do not exist.

If you’ve made it to the very end of this very lengthy post, I want to thank you for the time you took to read it.

Let it be known that this post was made as an attempt to finally put a stop to Maddison doing the exact thing she accused us of doing so persistently: stalking, harassing, threatening, lying, backstabbing, sending violently malicious anons, and bullying people into remaking their blogs.

We do not wish for ANYONE to go after those who have ties to Madds, nor those who got dragged into this or provided us with helpful information, and that is why we have omitted so many names. If those people wish to come forward with their identity, that is up to them and only them.

So, no anon. We did not get what we wanted. Thank you for asking, though. We just want this to stop, it’s been long overdue.

[wiltin]

Ugh im sorry in advance

Here's my total drama highschool fic that I wrote almost a year ago, in all its un-edited glory... disclaimer i havent even read all of it in months

---

Gwen looked at the bulletin board hanging on the wall of her homeroom. Cheerleading, band, football, math team, yearbook, photography… Nothing interesting. School for the day was over, and not many people crowded around the bulletin as they had at lunch or before school. Of course, already signed up for cheerleading was Heather Culus, Lindsay Amber, and Izzy Loco. Everyone knew that Izzy never made cheerleading, but she always signed up. Under football, there were the usual names of Lightning Jefferson, Alejandro Burromuerto, and Justin Timber. However, there was a new name there. Owen had signed up for football? That was... odd.

“Heeeey, Gwen! Are you signing up for photography club this year? Ooh, maybe yearbook!” The grinning face of Sierra Stocks obstructed her view. It was hard to avoid her, especially when she knew everyone’s schedules by heart.

“Uh, no! Not this year, haha.”

“But it’s senior year? It’s now or never.”

“No, I’m just not very… Good at arranging pictures! Yeah, that's it, my skills are no match for yours, obviously.”

“Omg, how about photography? Didn’t you, like, take a bunch of pictures that won some contest or something? You should totally sign up for photography!”

“Nah, sorry, school clubs really just aren’t my scene, y’know?”

“That’s what my adorable little Cody says! It’s ridiculous. Anywho, see ya later.” Sierra hopped off.

A tile on the ceiling was moved, and out poked a head. “Is she gone?”

“Yeah, but how the hell did you get up there?” Cody came crashing to the floor, grinning.

“Owen helped me out, anyway, Gwen, if you’re free after school-”

“Sorry, I have to come to tryouts with the gang. We usually go for Owen’s guy-thirsting over Justin’s sake, but he actually signed up this time, so I’ll probably have to be there even longer.”

“Woah, Owen is trying out for football? I just hope it’s not like the time he tried out for cheerleading…” Owen had tried to be on the top of the pyramid. It didn’t last. Lindsay broke her leg.

“It won’t be, I think. At least he can’t crush as many people in one go. Probably.”

“But he can crush on as many people! Eh, eh?”

“Yeah, that’s not worth a laugh.”

“Sorry. Too bad Izzy can’t support him, what with her tryouts and all.”

“Yeah, too bad. Who knew such a psychopath was capable of having a crush?”

“Uh, Sierra ring a bell?”

“You called? Cody, my love, I am here!” Cody ran off, and straight into Noah.

“Do you mind, Allergy Boy?” Noah stooped down to pick up a paper that had been knocked out of his hand, but Sierra beat him to it.

“A love letter?”

“Give that back!” Noah’s face was red as he attempted to snatch the envelope back.

“Oooh, who’s it for? I gotta know for my blog-” Noah grabbed it in a fist, and nearly ripping it, he managed to get the envelope back.

“Bug off.” Noah walked away, the envelope still crumpled in his fist. Sierra still had a gleeful look on her face.

“This will be fun. I already ship it! I can’t wait to make a ship name.”

“Ship… Name?”

“It’s like a merging of name-”

“Did you actually see who the letter was addressed to?”

“Nope. OMG, I have to get to my locker. Bye, Codykins!” Sierra ran off, and Cody faced Gwen once more.

“Who do you think it was for, if it even was a love letter?” Cody asked.

“No idea. Maybe… Lindsay?” Gwen laughed, and Cody joined in.

“No way, she’s too dumb for him!” Cody exclaimed.

“Yeah… that’s the joke…?” Gwen stared at him. “Anyways, Noah never even talks about girls. For all we know, he’s gay, so we can’t rule guys out here.”

“Gay? Haha, I can’t see him as gay. He’s about as gay as you!”

“Cody?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m a lesbian.”

Earlier that day, at lunch, in the cafeteria- Owen was checking his phone. He opened up the school app and saw an anonymous message.

‘dont post this, dont tell anyone about it, just read this quickly.

i cant come off anon for this, but i just wanted you to know

I think im in love w/u’ (Help i cant write)

Owen’s eyes scanned the message, growing wider with every word.

“Yo! Ooh, you got a message, Big O? Can I read it?” Izzy looked over his shoulder. Owen quickly pressed delete.

“Izzy! It’s so great to see you! See, it was just, uh, spam mail! Yes, spam mail, that’s definitely it, not a love confession or anything!”

“Hey…” She squinted. “Can I have your pudding cup?”

“Oh-ho! Yeah, sure, Iz!” He mainly gave it to her to ease her suspicion, but his appetite had disappeared anyways. Surprising, knowing him.

“Anyways, Big O, I’m sorry I can’t come to your tryouts to support you, but y’know i’ve got one of my own.”

“Oh, yeah, it’s no big deal.” Owen laughed. “I understand, Iz. Cheerleading is important to you.”

“Oh, right, Owen, I almost forgot! I have to go.”

“Oh. Bye, Iz!”

After school, Noah read over the note again, one last time before he went to the football field to watch Owen try out.

‘I know you sent the message. I won’t tell him unless you pursue him.’

He truly was in trouble.

    Gwen went to the football field to watch tryouts. Only a couple people sat in the stands. She walked over to where her friends sat.

    “Hey, Gwen.” Zoey greeted.

    “Hey, welcome!” DJ gave Gwen a high-five, for whatever reason he had for high-fiving someone for just showing up.

    “Hi, Gwen!” Cody smiled.

    “Hey, guys.” She sat down, and they were silent for a moment.

    “Hey, Noah, you’re being awfully quiet. No ‘hey there goth girl, congrats on finally showing up’?”

    “Hey there, goth girl, congrats on finally showing up.” Gwen smiled, gently punching his shoulder, and sat down on the bleachers, casting her eyes out to the field. She heard a yell behind her.

    “OH COME ON! ACTUALLY PUT SOME EFFORT INTO IT!” Gwen looked behind her and saw Courtney, yelling at the top of her lungs.

    “Could you keep it down, Courtney?” Gwen suggested.

    Courtney grew sheepish and muttered something that sounded like ‘sorry,’ and Gwen returned her attention to the auditions, or at least pretending to, all while not noticing the blush on Courtney’s cheeks.

    After a lot of things and stuff that had to do with football, none of which Gwen understood or paid much attention to, the tryouts were over with. Noah’s grip on his book subtly tightened as Owen ran over to the bleachers where his friends sat, a grin on his face.

    “I feel like I did pretty good!” Owen was optimistic, and for all Gwen knew about football, he could have done the worst or the best job, and it all would look the same to her.

    “Yeah, Owen, you did great! I’m sure you’ll make it.”

---

... AND THATS where my bitch ass seventh grade self left off. In the middle of dialogue. I hate her

[scary-flag]

izzy Hands might not be your favorite character but you're still reblogging blackhands art from racists which means you're still a scumbag racist supporting abuse apologist piece of shit.

@wearfinethingsalltoowell recommends grading the anons so:

Anon hate rating: D-, maaaybe D for effort. Would give a higher grade if you at least provided information who is the racist artist I reblog from, because I don't scroll through all people's posts when I reblog something, ya know. Why even waste your time mate? Go and do something actually productive, like idk volunteer for a charity or sth, retarget your attention to one of those maybe

Gender Minorities Aotearoa

All Sorts Youth UK

Stonewall UK

Belong Aotearoa

Right To Be

cheeeeeers

[three--rings]

Something I want to contribute to this conversation as someone who was never in the canyon, never considered myself any kind of Izzy stan, (I've always enjoyed him but he's never been of particular interest to me to explore in fic, etc) is that the hostility of the fandom over the issue of Izzy just drove a lot of people out of the fandom entirely.

I was always, always sympathetic to the Izzy fans because I hate antis of any kind and have been in fandom for 25 years and know people attacking fans for liking a character or ship are always the bad guys.

When I MENTIONED Izzy Hands on my blog I got deranged anon hate in my inbox. As I'm sure you all understand. Last year, I mean.

It got to the point where sometime late last summer I just didn't want to see the words Izzy Hands and unfollowed anyone who had any discussion of his character at all on either side because reading the discourse infuriated me so much.

Which means I basically unfollowed most of my OFMD people and ended up drifting quickly away from the fandom into things that didn't pain me to interact with. From the general amount of discussion and fan content over time I don't think I was the only one who was like yanno fuck this shit life is too short. If you think being an Izzy fan was lonely, try being pretty exclusively a Blackbonnet fan who can't stand people talking shit about Izzy.

Only when the trailer dropped did I try to reengage with the fandom and quickly realized oh, yeah a lot of these mainstream people are still completely deranged by hatred of Izzy Hands and I followed and unfollowed people extremely quickly once I saw it. It was so unavoidable in the buildup to S2 airing that I wrote this post.

And got a death threat within hours, which eventually tumblr said they removed the sender for fwiw.

So then I was like fuckit I'm getting death threats, I'll be more explicit. Which post got such insane responses that people not in the fandom were messaging me and commenting like OMG what the HELL is wrong with that fandom. Legit people were like I was going to watch the show but now I'm not because those people suck.

At which point I basically decided to start following Izzy fans because they were the only sensible people I could find. Hi.

But my feeling, as a whole, watching the people who were in OFMD all along who were hostile to Izzy fans, watching Izzy fans, watching people like me who haven't been active for a year or more until this season.

I think most people are positive to neutral on Izzy and always have been. Or dislike him because he was an antagonist but not as a character if that makes sense. I think some may have been persuaded by the hate or simply ignored it in order to engage in fandom, (or were afraid of being labeled problematic and racist) but I think a lot of people simply decided to just read fics they liked and hang in very small circles if any and ignore the greater fandom drama because it was so unpleasant.

I feel like if people who hated him now feel more positive it's not because they feel like they were wrong, but that he has changed and his writing has changed. I don't see a lot of remorse personally.

But humans are always very bad at admitting to themselves or others that they were wrong. Their opinions of Izzy might continue to change when they go back and rewatch, but I doubt you'll see many posts about how wrong they were. I doubt you'll receive many if any apologies.

Certainly anyone who actually did the worst of the harassment will not admit they were wrong because they would not be able to face being that bad of a person.

The blockwalls are unfortunate but unlikely to be undone. The most you can really look for is that the Izzy haters become fewer and fewer over time and as people return to the fandom and new people enter, the old wars will fade into memory.

Also, do not underestimate how hostile a small number of people can make an online space feel. You may feel like the numbers are overwhelming and that everyone had blocked all Izzy fans, but I doubt that is the case.

I know a situation in another fandom where multiple writers were hounded out of the fandom by hundreds of messages over years and it turned out to all be one person's doing and only by finally comparing notes was it revealed and they were named. People who felt like a significant group was coordinating attacks on them across multiple platforms were actually just targeted by one very ill person.

So, yeah, these are unfortunately the kinds of things that happen when we forget to live and let live and when fandoms get bored during hiatuses. Eventually canon will be complete and the period of in-between S1 and S2 will seem like a distant memory and the fanon associated with it will probably be laughed at. That's how fandom goes.

TBH the fandom has reacted better to S2 than I feared, though that could always change at any moment. Even now it feels like once we get to Tuesday and Wednesday that people start getting antsy and try to start shit with baiting hot takes.

slowly moving out of my smug phase and transitioning into a "okay... so what happens next?" phase.

cuz like... what does happen next? i really really think the fandom as a whole needs to address whatever the fuck was happening for more than the past year. and i guess i'm wondering what does that actually look like? and what are you supposed to do if you spent a year and half being awful to people about a character you were wrong about?

and ik a lot of people will just brush it off or dig their heels in deeper that they weren't wrong and they didn't do anything bad, but i like to believe that not everyone will, ya know?

but idk it feels like part of a larger convo on fandom, antiracism, fan activism, and harassment.

[eversall]

Jimon #9? Cause i love that drama 👌👌

okay idk who this is but 9 isn’t dramatic but I’m gonna do it for you anyway and then if you find the one you wanted anon i guess prompt me again????

a note: they play a drinking game called paranoia in this. you sit in a circle. first player turns to the person on their left and whispers a question which can be answered by someone’s name (i.e., who’s most likely to get in a car crash, who’s most likely to get pregnant first, etc.) questions range from really tame to really really kinky. the person the question was whispered to responds out loud with the name of someone in the circle that isn’t the person who asked the question. so everyone in the circle knows the answer, but not the question. if the person whose name was answered wants to know what the question was, they can challenge for the question by drinking a shot, and then the question has to be said out loud for everyone to hear.

send me a ship and a kiss prompt from this list! closed

9. in public

The planned wine-night at Magnus’ goes immediately downhill when Simon walks through the door of Magnus’ apartment and sees Jace relaxing on the couch, laughing at something Maia’s saying. 

“I don’t want to be here,” he says, frowning, instead of greeting Clary, who opened the door for him. She looks at him in confusion, and then follows his gaze to see what he’s looking at. 

When she see’s that its Jace that’s caught his attention, she sighs. “I thought you two were over this.” 

Simon looks at her blankly for a moment. His brain is racing with images of Jace - Jace kissing him furiously in the privacy of his apartment, Jace dropping to his knees and unzipping Simon’s jeans, Jace, splayed out on Simon’s cheap sheets, mouth open on a soundless scream and eyes fixed on Simon as he arches his back and groans, shuddering up against Simon’s body as he comes. 

“Right,” he says, unsteady on his feet as he shifts into the role of Simon, the guy who Jace has certainly never hooked up with when no one was looking. “I - I definitely am.”

He takes his coat off, and when he toes his shoes off Jace looks up and sees him. His expression immediately closes off, unreadable and hard. 

Clary shoves at Simon. “Behave,” she hisses. Simon grunts, eyes fixed on Jace. From next to him, Clary sighs and tells Simon that she’s getting him a drink. Maia gets up too, wandering off to the kitchen, and then it’s just Jace and Simon in the living room, looking at each other. 

Jace crosses his arms. “If I’d know you were going to be here, I wouldn’t have come,” he says, his voice hard. Simon swallows against the hurt that lodges in his chest when he hears that. 

“Believe me,” Simon says bitterly, “I feel the same way.” 

“Good,” Jace says shortly. 

Simon can’t help but stare at him, drinking in the sight of his arms, and his jaw, and his fucking eyes. He’s always been so weak for Jace, in a way that makes him hate himself. It’s just - Jace is funny, when he wants to be, and he’s got walls miles high but he used to let them down for Simon, let Simon see the caring, intensely loyal, genuinely fucking good person . 

He used to. Until a night of drinking and raw, honest confessions about their fears in life had turned into them breathlessly kissing each other, desperate want spilling over into the way Simon had clutched at Jace. It’s Simon’s fault - he shouldn’t have slept with someone who will never feel the same way about him. 

But - the bitter, spiteful part of Simon’s can’t help but think that it’s Jace fault too. For acting like there was some chance. For making Simon believe, when he knows how much it’s hurt Simon, to the core, to always be the guy that’s left behind in relationships. 

Now, though, he’s just - suddenly he’s just too tired for this. 

“Just pretend for tonight,” Simon says, tiredly, “for everyone else’s sake.” He turns and leaves, making his way to the kitchen and resisting the intense urge to look back at the man of his dreams. 

It’s game night, so Simon forces all thoughts of Jace to the back of his mind and tries to limit the amount of wine he drinks so that he doesn’t end up making a fool of himself. He makes sure to sit as far as possible from Jace and interact with him as little as possible, and he manages it through rounds of Werewolf, a few card games, and Mad Libs. Then they start playing Paranoia, and Simon’s instantly on high alert as the drunker members of their circle start asking more and more risque questions. 

He notices with mounting trepidation that Jace hasn’t been drinking that much either through the night. They’re the most sober in the circle. Jace meets his eyes from across the room, and Simon nearly startles backward with how bright they are, how he’s not breaking the gaze. 

“That’s easy,” Alec announces loudly from next to Jace, so loudly that he’s shouting, “that would be Magnus.” 

From next to him, Clary titters drunkenly, and then slaps at Alec’s shoulder. “I forgot to say besides Magnus in my question.” 

“Too late, no takebacks, and I’m related to some of the people in this circle.” He says, unrepentant. His voice is taking on a mocking tone that only ever happens when Alec’s truly drunk, and Simon hides a laugh behind his glass of wine, nudging Izzy next to him and sharing a significant look. 

“Challenge, Magnus?” Clary calls out. Magnus smirks, looking slightly off balance from where he’s draping an elegant scarf around his cat. 

“Of course,” he drawls, “I’m not even drunk.” He pets Church and waves his hand in the general direction of his bedroom. “Fetch, my noble canine.” Church blinks, unimpressed, and goes to sleep. 

“Ah, well.” Magnus reaches towards the center of the circle and grabs one of the glasses and the bottle of vodka, pouring himself out a healthy shot. “Cheers!” He gulps it down, and then without missing a beat he says, “Question, Clary.” 

“I asked him who in this circle has the best ass.” 

Alec snorts. “So easy. It’s Magn-ass.” 

There’s a moment of silence in the circle, and then everyone breaks into uproarious laughter. Simon snickers as he sees Maia throw a napkin at Alec, who throws it right back at her. 

Izzy sighs. “That’s such a bad question, Clary. You should have asked who the biggest ass in the circle is.” 

“You,” Clary warbles drunkenly, pointing a lazily drifting finger at Izzy, at the exact same moment that Jace says with a hard look on his face “Simon’s the biggest asshole in this circle.”

Simon stiffens, his blood running cold. Everyone awkwardly pauses to look between the two of them. 

“Er,” Maia says, “boys - “ 

Simon laughs harshly. “No, it’s okay,” he waves Maia off, “takes one to know one, right Jace?” 

He’s burning with anger, and it’s a cold and unnatural feeling, to be this furious at the same time that he’s angry. He can see Jace’s fingers fold into a fist, and he opens his mouth to say something, but the thick tension is broken by Clary swaying forward and saying, “Hey, I don’t think that was the question!”

Simon sighs, sitting back as Izzy laughs just a touch too loudly and chimes in with something else that Magnus immediately counters her on. Simon shakes his head. draining his glass of wine and putting it to the side. 

“My turn,” Alec announces, turning to Jace, who’s still stony-faced. Alec pauses, and then glances at Simon strangely before he turns back to Jace and whispers a question. 

Jace’s face pales, and his eyes sweep over the circle before his gaze settles on Simon. “No,” he croaks out, “no, Alec, don’t make me answer that.” He looks downright frightened, like he’s been cornered, but Alec is looking shrewdly at Jace. 

“I’ve been thinking that something’s been up with you,” Alec says accusingly, “so now answer the question.” 

“It’s not that simple,” Jace counters. 

Maia groans. “They’re having a conversation without us. Just answer the question, Jace, most of us are so drunk we won’t drink again anyway probably. No challenge.” 

Jace rolls his eyes. “I’m not fucking answering it.” 

Alec shrugs. “Then I think I know everything I need to know anyway.”

“Alec - “

“You’ve been running from this for two years - “

“Simon.” 

Simon snaps his head up, staring as Jace pushes a hand through his hair, looking defeated and unhappy. “Satisfied?” he asks Alec. Alec sits back. 

“Very,” he says softly. “I know what I’m doing, Jace.” 

Simon’s throat is dry as he looks at Jace, whose face is immeasurably sad. “Challenge,” he immediately says. 

“You don’t want to do that,” Jace warns. 

“I do.” Simon reaches for the vodka and doesn’t even bother pouring a shot out, just tips the bottle over and chugs a good amount. From beside him, Izzy whispers oh my God. “Challenge, Jace.” 

Jace’s mouth is set in a hard, angry line. “The question was who I would date in this circle. But you already knew the answer to that anyway, Simon.” 

Simon’s heart is in his throat, beating rabbit-fast. Everyone’s staring at them now, and there’s a pin-drop silence that stretches between the two of them, taut with hurt and tension. 

“I’m not another one of your conquests,” Simon says hoarsely. “I won’t be.” 

“I asked you on a date, Simon.” 

“While you were drunk.” 

Jace laughs bitterly. “Why would that mean I didn’t mean it?” 

“Because you never mentioned it again! Because I won’t fucking put my heart on my sleeve for someone I’m not even sure likes me, much less - “ 

He falters, his words dying in his throat. He’s said too much. Everyone’s looking at him, and Jace’s face crumples. 

“You think I don’t like you?” he says, his voice low. His eyes are dark, his eyebrows slanting down dangerously. 

Simon gestures around them. “Everything we did, we did behind closed doors. You hid me away. What was I supposed to think?” 

Jace’s expression is unreadable, and then he’s striding forward, and for a second Simon think’s that he’s finally pushed too far, that Jace is going to deck him, and he takes a half-step backwards, but Jace’s hands come up to cradle Simon’s face and instead he kisses Simon, so softly and slowly that Simon feels like he’s going to cry. Jace’s fingers are gentle where they’re stroking Simon’s hair, and Simon hesitantly curls a hand in Jace’s shirt. 

There’s a sudden wolf-whistle from what sounds like Alec, and Simon breaks away, feeling his cheeks heat with embarassment, but Jace doesn’t let him go far, keeping him in place and pressing his forehead to Simon’s. 

“I - “ Jace says, haltingly, and then he takes a deep breath. “I like you more than I know what to do with. Will you go on a date with me?” 

There’s an audience around them, but Simon doesn’t care. Breathless, he whispers “Yes” and kisses Jace again, heart jumping into overdrive as something in him settles, and he thinks oh - because this things inside him that suddenly feels right as Jace holds him close is what he thinks he’s been waiting for his whole life. 

[lindaadamsmusic]

I met Axl irl & we're friends now 😍

Not an AU. Not an RP. It's my actual life. I can't give out details how we met or where etc. but it was October 2017. We met thru a mutual friend, who I didn't know knew him. Surprise!

We hit it off immediately and I was fascinated and thrilled to find out, here stands one COOL human being.

Why talk now? Well, he let me know he'd like me out there telling the truth. The media is all wrong--this was obvious within minutes of meeting him.

He's sick of that press and so am I.

So I'm here to stick up for him much more, and in public. This blog is from now on dedicated to lifting his spirits and sharing my wild ride.

He nothing like his public image. Sure he's from a hick state and has plenty of opinions. He is blunt. He calls it like he sees it and he's perceptive. Still. About the only thing media gets right is, his face is his face.

Despite the efforts of his Indiana upbringing, this man is woke. Do not believe any garbage you read, it's all wrong. He's not racist--tons of his friends are POC. He's not at all phobic, he treats women with respect. This has ALWAYS been true. He jumps in and helps people who spill groceries in the parking lot. He has a huge heart.

Real Axl is an incredible, AMAZING human being, who is now one of the closest friends I ever let into my life. I don't let many people in, and neither does he.

He had me laughing in seconds, & we talk for hours--often daily. He'd rather call than text. This cured my years-long phobia of using my phone as a phone real fast!

Important Unknown Talent: He comes in and makes life BETTER.

Not because he can sing or write songs or everyone knows his name. No. He's just my friend with the really weird job. He is wise and insightful and finds real solutions to problems.

For one, he noticed my ADHD and encouraged me to get tested--and I am in a range needing a full-on dose of meds to correct. This gave me a LIFE I didn't think was possible. No one ever said anything to me about my gnat-sized attention span!! I'm close to his age--we didn't even have that term back then.

Now I have a brain that WORKS. I am functioning, setting & finishing goals, I'm doing better with my business, my parenting, everything.

This is the kind of Better I'm talking about. He gave me hope when I didn't have any. When I say Axl is LIFE--I mean it. He has such a healing, positive energy.

He is the NICEST person in person. Delightful, funny, thoughtful as all get out. Irritable? Of course! You would be too. I guarantee you, you or I would be doing worse in his shoes. He is tough and resilient.

He tells me he's horrible to work for, and I believe that. I haven't seen that side of him tho.

I am being wonderfully enriched by his compassion, genuine listening and concern for me, and my whole family. He remembers everything. You don't have to tell him the same story twice. He will call me out when I'm full of BS and still care how I'm doing the next day.

I can't say enough good.

I am so deeply blessed and honored we met--and this would be true if he never recorded a note, & was penniless in a trailer park. He is still him. His soul shines.

So. Tumblrs, be aware: if I find you trashing him, I may bite. Hard. The mean memes need to die. Just stop.

This all said, do not ship us. Axl is like a brother to me. Personally I am deeply committed to my hubby, very happily married. As for him, I will never discuss anything about his status. He speaks freely and I will NEVER violate his trust. This is a FRIENDSHIP.

So, I probably owe a word to Jimmy since my theme has changed. I started this blog in hopes the universe would let me meet you somehow, and--I did! I'll never forget 11-11-14..... I will always love you, you know that.

But you don't call me on the phone, babe. Mmmmmm. I can handle it. Your loss, Pagey....

Asks are ok. Anon is on.

I refuse to gossip, engage in drama, accept demo CDs (ugh!!! they make great frisbees), introduce you, or cause him harm in any way. I will answer nice, honest questions. If it's private, no. If you're smutty or rude, I'll just block you. He hates all that crap. (He would use much stronger words.)

Soooooo. Yep so far I've heard Slash & Duff backstage, soundchecks, I get texts from random musician/friends he hands his phone off to, I've said hi to Izzy. He's been talking to me when people come up & recognize him. Or just follow him around the store creepily. That sucks.

And boy does Axl have tour stories, holy. And Slash loves betta fish like me. I about died.

It's weird and wonderful and I'm getting used to it. Still pinching myself.

I've had frequent off the wall dreams about dead rockstars since idk, like 1980. Really weird. I take it in stride, write it off. PTSD can do weird things to a brain, you know.

But this--this is REAL. Tangible!! I made Parasise City his ringtone. It's sooo trippy hearing the song play, then hearing that same voice in my ear. AHHHH.

The truth stands:I could not have hand-picked a better friend to enter my life than Axl Rose. I stand by that--and him--long past my dying day.

Bless this man for existing. And putting up with me. I love you my friend. You are a miracle in mismatched plaid. May you rock forever. ❤️

Linda

[ace-dameron]

fluffy prompts! malec + "I love your family, I really do, but..." and/or malec + negotiating a day off

(So, I made this a companion fic to two other fics I’ve written for prompts. Those fics can be found here and here. You don’t necessarily need to read them, but I would appreciate if you did. I included the quote and there is a discussion of a day off, but no real negotiating.

 Also, because I have so many prompts on deck, I used “I’d like to see you try.” which was prompted to be by an anon.)

Magnus ran his finger around the rim of his mug, tension saturating his posture as he watched Alec rush around their bedroom, trying to get ready. A sour expression distorted his facial features before he brought the mug to his lips and took a sip. Lately, it seemed Alec regressed in behavior, running to the Institute over every little thing; his siblings acting as if they’ve forgotten how to control the other Shadowhunters in Alec’s absence.

Alec glanced up as he balanced on one foot while trying to pull his boot on the other. “Is everything okay? You look like you’ve been sucking on a lemon.”

“I love your family, I really do, but… have they forgotten how to run the Institute in your absence?” Magnus hated being this person, but he was steadily seeing less and less of Alec. There had been a lot of unsavory things going on with Downworlder politics and Magnus often needed a release, an escape. And as much Magnus enjoyed a good martini, this was the type of drama that called for comfort not found in a bottle.

Alec lifted a brow before righting himself, standing at his full height. “We’ve gotten a lot of new recruits lately. And we’ve lost quite a few seasoned Shadowhunters to Idris. I promise things will go back to normal soon.” He walked over to the bed and dropped a kiss to Magnus’s lips. “As a matter of fact, this Saturday, how about we spend a day in Paris?”

“Uninterrupted?”

“Entirely.” Alec grinned, a little too wide. Something in his expression made Magnus tilt his head curiously.

“You’re hiding something.”

“I am not. I’m just happy at the thought of spending an entire uninterrupted day with you. That is what you want, right?”

“Well, of course. But you’re definitely hiding something. You don’t live for this many centuries and become High Warlock without being able to read people.”

Alec rolled his eyes, trying to stray from his usual defensive mannerisms, “I’m not hiding anything. We have open communication, remember?”

Magnus laughed into his mug, “Oh, I remember, Alexander. I’m not insinuating that you’re hiding something bad. But something, nonetheless. And I will figure it out.”

Alec grumbled under his breath as he turned toward the door, “I’d like to see you try.”

Magnus smirked, “What was that, darling?”

“I love you, have a great day!” Alec said before leaving the bedroom.

“Magnus is going to ruin my engagement plans,” Alec complained in a whisper as soon as he saw his sister in the command room.

Izzy let out a squeal of excitement like she always did anytime Alec brought up that topic. Naturally, she had been the first and only person Alec told, which in hindsight was probably a mistake because she hadn’t dropped the topic since that day.

They walked toward his office, Alec keeping his voice low, “Isabelle, be serious for a second and stop trying to plan a wedding in your head that Magnus isn’t going to allow you to plan.”

His sister gasped in shock as they reached the inside of his office, closing the door behind them, “You take that back.”

“Magnus likes planning and throwing parties. He’ll want to do it himself.” Alec shrugged, leaning against the wall he was standing beside.

“He’ll need help, Alec. Weddings take a lot of effort. Not that you’d really know. You didn’t participate in planning your last wedding.”

“I’d rather not think about that low point of my life. But back to the topic at hand, he’s going to ruin it.” He needed her focused, not bringing up his past mistakes.

“How is he going to ruin it?”

“He’s getting suspicious. I keep disappearing to the Institute anytime I feel like it might just slip out or he might figure it out.”

She shoved at him playfully before sitting down in his chair, “Stop acting so suspiciously and he won’t figure it out.”

“I tried to tell him I’m needed due to the new recruits, but that didn’t seem to sway him.” Alec walked around to the other side of the desk and plopped down into the chair in front of his desk.

“Oh, the new recruits that Jace, Clary, and I have been training exclusively because you’re holed up in your office, freaking out about proposing?” Izzy smiled fondly, leaning forward in the chair and resting her arms on the desk. “Have you decided when you’re going to pop the question?”

“This weekend. We’re going to Paris and I’m thinking of doing it in front of the cafe where we had our first date in Paris.” Alec ignored the obvious swooning from his sister, trying to fight off his nervousness. He wanted this more than anything, but even after searching deep within himself for the right words to say, they seemed inadequate in comparison to how he felt.

“Stop overthinking it. He’s going to say yes, Alec.”

Alec didn’t doubt that. But still, did Magnus actually want to be married? Would he be at all touched by the words Alec decided to go with? Would Alec somehow avoid making himself look like a stuttering fool?

“I said, stop overthinking it.”

Alec sighed, running a hand through his hair. “He deserves perfection, Iz.”

“And he’ll get that. You both love each other so much. Anything coming from you, in whatever way, will be perfect.” She stood up and walked around to the other side of the desk, wrapping her arms around her brother, resting her cheek against the top of his head. “You’ll do fine. And once it’s all over, you’ll be glad you did it.”

He sighed, “Thanks Iz.”

“Anytime.” She smiled before heading out of the office.

Alec took his place on the other side of the desk and started working. He let Izzy’s positivity wash over him. Everything would turn out favorably and they’d be engaged. It brought a silly smile to his face.

‘I made a reservation at our favorite bistro for Saturday.’ Alec smiled at the text.

‘Perfect. Better than just showing up like last time and bribing the host.’

‘I’m pretty sure with or without the money, he was going to seat us. He was checking you out the entire time.’

‘Yeah, checking me out and wondering how I ever managed to get such a beautiful boyfriend.’

‘You flatter me, Alexander. Have to get going. I’ve put off this client appointment long enough. See you tonight?’

‘I’ll bring home Thai. You pick the entertainment.’

‘Deal.’