#izzie please stop i beg you

[greencheekconure27]

[something-about-sunflowers]

More ‘Izzy is racist and I’m BIPOC (or Native? Which is somehow different than Indigenous?) so if you say I’m wrong you’re racist too’ discourse in the Izzy Hands tag. And yet. Still no actual evidence. Not one single concrete thing to back up that claim. Interesting.

And still the only two characters of the main cast who are actually called racist in the show are Stede and Pete.

[bug-bytes]

"[insert known antisemitic celebrity here] had some points actually" stfu stfu I hate you I hate you I hate you!!! No they didn't!!!

[asgardian--angels]

hoo boy the number of baaaad takes on twitter since that con o'neill interview came out lmao

[warmhappycat]

I will say that I have seen this once before, in the Snape tag, and it gave me the exact same impression of the morality of the person I was talking to as this does.

Which characters you find interesting does not say anything about your morality. What kind of Situations™��� you want to put them in does not say anything about your morality (yes, even Those Ones, shut up fancops). But which characters you think were good people, which ones’ behavior you will defend as reasonable or justified, which one you think was (more) in the wrong in an unhealthy relationship dynamic - that tells me a lot.

“Ooh but look at it from Snape’s point of view! He was buwwied!! He was in love with Lily and she chose his bully over him!” Ok so you don’t respect women’s agency and think becoming a fascist terrorist of your own free will is ok sometimes. Got it.

“I would have yelled at Ed in s1e4 too! He wasn’t paying attention to what was important and he should have tried harder to explain his plan because instead he just left his pwoor, pwoor (grown ass experienced pirate) afwaid!!” Ok so you’re ableist. You think that neurodivergent people should have to crawl over broken glass to communicate in the ways neurotypical people prefer, and if they don’t or can’t, it’s ok for the neurotypical person to gaslight and abuse them about it. Probably a little racist too. Neat.

I want to just say that the hijacking of the Izzy hands tag by the canyon is one of the most ridiculous fucking things I’ve ever heard. I’ve never, in my about 20 years of being involved in fandoms, seen anyone declare that a character tag is only for positive posts about that character until ofmd.

I’m going to be very clear: a character tag is for posts about that character. Positive, negative, general shouts into the void about them, smutty thoughts, fluffy thoughts, criticisms, etc. It doesn’t matter. You can get more specific about the particular tone of your post with other tags, but the general character tag. Is for. Any post. About that character. And it is the individual’s responsibility to know what they can handle reading and skip things they might find triggering.

Which moves on to my next point, which is that tagging whether a post is positive or critical content is not a requirement. It’s extremely fucking helpful, yes. It’s kind to do it to give people who might come into contact with your post the ability to block that tag and never have to see it if they don’t want to. But it’s not a requirement. People can post what they want. People can view what they want. It is always the responsibility of the reader to judge whether something they come across is harmful to them. You are responsible for your online experience.

That being said, if people do choose not to use more specific tags about the tone of a post, they need to be prepared to have people reacting in all manners of ways about it. Because again. They’re responsible for their online experience. That responsibility does go both ways.

But all of this “can you not tag your critical posts with the character because it sucks to see your fave being talked about negatively” is bullshit. You don’t own that character, you don’t own that tag, tags exist so that people can find posts about that thing, people are allowed to have and discuss different opinions and have them tagged appropriately.

So yeah anyway I’m gonna keep using the Izzy hands tag on my critical stuff, and I’m also going to use the critical tag because I personally think it’s good to give the opportunity for people who don’t want to see negative posts about their faves, but I don’t think it’s a requirement, or that people who don’t are assholes.

And also when you keep changing what the appropriate tag for critical posts is, it’s not the posters fault for you seeing something you don’t want to. It’s a courtesy that posters are using ones that you specifically have asked them to use, so make it more functional for everyone and just pick one.

[subway-tolkien]

Okay, this is 1600 words of (positive!) meta regarding the OFMD finale. Included is character analysis and a treatise on why a certain trope people keep throwing around does not apply here.

This is of course just my take, and I'm sure people will disagree, but I needed to get this out. Apologies if it comes off disjointed, I've had like no sleep.

Spoilers within, obviously. You have been warned. Heed the tags. I didn't tag any characters because I consider it a spoiler, but you know who this is about.

Listen. Listen.

Let me start off by saying I have been where you are. I’ve had beloved characters die, either because it was important to the narrative or for shock value. I’ve been there, so I’m not coming at this without empathy. I’m not an Izzy hater. I loved him as a character. I’m truly sad to see him go.

But from what I’m seeing around Twitter and tumblr, some of you do not understand the role of an antagonist in a story.

Izzy was always meant to die. The moment he said, in the first season, “the only retirement we get is death,” I knew he was meant to die in the end. The foreshadowing ran through both seasons. Izzy was the true antagonist of S1. He was there to keep Blackbeard tethered when he started pulling away, and yet he also set the plot in motion. He inadvertently introduced Blackbeard to the person who let him be just Ed. He put Ed on his own path to redemption without even knowing it.

S1 ended with Izzy getting what he wanted as Ed lost everything he had. S2 was about Izzy coming to terms with the fact that he’d gone too far, he’d turned Ed into a monster. It wasn’t what he wanted. He wanted Blackbeard back, just like old times. Instead, he got the Kraken, and it was more than he bargained for.

Especially after it cost him his leg and he realized how far gone Ed really was. The conversation that ended with Izzy’s half-assed suicide attempt was the final blow to Izzy—Ed really didn’t seem to care anymore. Where Izzy wanted him to stop giving a shit about his silly boyfriend, he instead got a Blackbeard who didn’t care about anything, and he was apparently now included in that category.

(I said half-assed suicide attempt because Izzy wasn’t meant to die then, THAT would have been an empty, pointless death. It wouldn’t have taught Ed anything—in fact, all it did was make him more self-destructive, which was Izzy’s purpose to the narrative, but not his endgame. That Ed thought Izzy killed himself pushed Ed to the brink. Ed wanted to die and take every scrap of Blackbeard with him. Had Izzy successfully killed himself, Ed and the Revenge would be at the bottom of the ocean.

It wasn’t until the crew left Izzy the unicorn leg that he realized the power of compassion, the incredible act of grace from a crew that suffered so much from Izzy’s own machinations and didn't need to forgive him. It moved him to tears, and it moved him to accept that maybe it wasn’t such a bad idea to let people in, to let himself be cared for. It was a foreign concept and something Izzy likely hadn’t experienced since losing his family (I fully expect a shit ton of fanfic of Izzy’s life before piracy).

Israel Hands found the capacity to let love all the way in and by god, did he pursue it.

But, again, Izzy was always meant to die, and I’m glad they stuck to the narrative they set out with instead of placating fandom and letting our influence dictate how they told this story That’s never good, trust me. Fandom should not influence a creator’s decisions regarding their own characters. It rarely if ever ends well.

[Stares in Voltron S8]

And I see a lot of people out here throwing the “bury your gays” phrase around—I beg you, please look up the definition of the trope. Izzy didn’t die because he was queer, he didn’t die because of his disability. He wasn’t one half of the only queer couple in the show fridged for shock value. He wasn’t killed off due to pressure from conservative viewers. He wasn’t the only queer, disabled character.

They didn’t kill off Lucius, or Jackie, or Wee John. Would you be as outraged if it was any of them?

Killing Eve is bury your gays. Supernatural is bury your gays. Pretty much any film, book, TV show, whatever, where a queer character dies because they’re queer, of AIDs, to further the narrative for a straight person, etc—that is burying your gays.

Izzy’s death was none of those things. Izzy’s death had meaning.

Izzy’s death freed Ed from the Blackbeard persona. It finally forced Izzy to say the things he couldn’t say until he realized it was his last chance. Izzy was also tired. I honestly think he stuck it out for Ed’s sake, because he was afraid to let Blackbeard go without making sure Ed would be ok.

He loved the idea of Blackbeard, but over time, he learned to love Ed. He finally understood what Ed tried to tell him the whole time.

“Fuck off, you twat. You’re surrounded by family.”

You’re safe. You’re loved. You don’t need me anymore. You don’t need to be reminded of who you’re capable of being, you need the people who will guide you to who you will become, and I’m not one of them.

I know a lot of Izzy fans are stung by his death, some of you are deeply upset. I get that. Like I said, I’ve been there. Sirius’s death made me throw that fucking book across the room. That Fucking Woman™ killed off my entire OTP, purely for shock value and, imho, a direct response to shippers. Trust me, I have felt betrayed by a creator for their decisions.

But I need you to understand that no, this was not a personal attack, this was not malicious, this was not “bury your gays." A show that celebrates queerness and diversity is not suddenly homophobic and ableist because your favorite character died and happened to be both of those things. But when the majority of your cast of characters is different in some way, and they’re in a show about 18th century pirates, you have to accept that one of them could, in fact, die. “Anyone Can Die” is also a trope and the more accurate one to describe E8.

If only being queer and disabled made you invincible.

Spoiler alert: it doesn’t.

And no, I’m not an Izzy hater. I loved him, I loved him as an antagonist, and I loved his redemption arc. He was fascinating and Con put his whole O’Nussy into that part. I’m sorry to see him go, but as a mystery writer who often has to kill off beloved characters, I understand that he served the purpose he had from the beginning.

I swear, if some of you had your way, there’d be no conflict at all in any form of media. This what a steady diet of nothing but fanfic gets you. This is not a fluffy one-shot with magical healing dick and a happy ending where everyone sails off into the sunset. If that’s what you wanted, what you headcanoned, you did this to yourself. It’s not David et al’s fault that we took that character and babygirled him. That’s the risk we take when we decide to love a specific character, when we take a genuinely terrible person (in S1) and woobify him.

So, please stop harassing and attacking David, Alex, et al. David did not and should not change his story to placate us. The fact he went ahead with it despite the backlash I’m sure he expected makes me respect him as a creator even more.

Anyway, I’m going to revel that we have three (!) queer relationships with happy endings where one or both didn’t immediately die (again, the actual definition of “bury your gays”) and that we got at least two seasons of a little show that celebrated individualism, diversity, queerness, compassion, and love.

In the end, it all came down to love.

“There he is.”

Goodbye, Blackbeard.

Hello, Ed.

[tvxqmylove]

Let's raise our glasses to Izzy and OFMD creators

I just have to get it off my chest, I understand Izzy's death came as a shock and very upsetting event for many, and a lot of people are going on and on about how he deserved a better fate and how he was not just some tool to serve someone else's story. Please try to calm down and see the bigger picture. 

It is now clear that he was always meant to die. It was foreshadowed in the first minute of the second season, a ridiculous, villain's death. Being the symbolic obstacle to Stede and Ed's happiness. 

Of course that was the wrong way for him to go. When he confessed to his crush Blackbeard he got shot by him, almost died, begged to be killed, and then he even tried to kill himself. Still didn't work. It wasn’t his time yet and that was the wrong way for him to go. When he learned that he was loved and cared for after all, just not in the way he expected, he changed. He became positive, he became forgiving. Then he stopped being miserable he started genuinely wishing for the happiness of others as well, instead of being bitter about it. His death might not have a point but his life did. He had the crew's and Ed's and even Stede's back, and they knew it. As David Jenkins stated, he played the role of a wise mentor that was passing along his life experiences to others. Then it was his time. Also, as foreshadowed, he symbolically took away Blackbeard, and opened a way for Stede and Ed as well.

A happy ending is not only walking off to sunset with a lover, taking up a new job or walking into a house of your family and petting your dog before you close the door. A good death, and a life well-lived is a happy ending. Leaving behind people that loved you is a happy ending. This was a happy ending for him. 

He lived the way he wanted, as a pirate, an infamous one that has received respect and recognition. Then he resolved the parts of his life that became problematic and toxic, he repaired the relationships

that was broken, he forgave the people he needed to forgive. After going through hell, he was basically a bubble of positivity, going around giving solid advices, encouraging people and partying. He was done. He gave the best damn speech of his life at a bar like giving his own eulogy and it was awesome. He died at the arms of the person he loved the most. 

Yes he could have had more, everyone that ever died could have had more. But he died gracefully and complete, surrounded by people he loved and cared about, knowing that they will be fine. That was his story. I am sad that he died, but he died beautifully, best you can hope for in a pirate life. And he will live on, in the hearts of the people he touched by his existence. 

Finally, never harass the creators. It is their hard work that gave us Izzy in the first place. Trust their creative process, and afterwards take it or leave it, do not harass them and try to put them in a box of your personal demands. If so, what kind of 3rd season can we even expect?

[weirdgenetic-fuckup]

Day 15: Shibari

Warnings: Smut, Shibari, reader is a sex worker, if you think I missed anything let me know otherwise enjoy!

Kinktober

You knew some clients would ask for more kinky shit, but you never thought meeting a guitarist for one of you favourite bands would lead to rope immobilizing you.

You’d had some pretty interesting moments, men twice your age calling you mommy and begging to cum, collars and leashes were nothing new. Getting spanked wasn’t your favourite but the men that were into it were usually the sweetest and always paid extra for it.

You’d gotten a call not long ago planning for something called ‘Shibari’ with Izzy. You had no idea what it was leading to but it couldn’t be too bad, at worst you’d just say it was too much and leave.

The address you’d been given was a hotel, you hadn’t realized until you got there. You were led straight to a private suit near the top, rich men scheduling a night with you wasn’t out of the ordinary, usually they weren’t famous though and you never knew them.

Izzy was more than sweet, making sure you’d eaten and were comfortable with everything, even explaining what he’d do before he started when he saw you had no idea what he’d wanted.

His hands were warm on your bare skin, trailing up and down your sides as you sat on your knees on the ground, soft red rope tied up your arms, keeping them strapped to your back. Your legs were tied as well, keeping you kneeling.

When Izzy mentioned rope you thought it would hurt a lot more but it didn’t, it was silky and smooth, gentle on your skin like his lips on yours as his tongue explored your mouth.

He was naked just in front of you, taking his time and making sure you were feeling good. He was paying you but it wouldn’t be fun for him if you didn’t cum, if you weren’t comfortable.

The ropes were soft but dig into your skin, it wasn’t to the point it hurt but just enough that it would tug uncomfortably if you moved less than an inch.

Izzy lifted you onto the bed, laying you on your back and readjusting the rope so you knees were forced to your chest, leaving you exposed to him.

He pushed his dick through your slick folds, gathering your juices before pushing into you and letting out a low groan.

Izzy stayed still a moment, smiling down at you warmly. “You’re quiet.” He said after a moment, after you’d opened your eyes to look at him. No one stopped, they didn’t care about you, not really, it was just wasting their money.

Usually you made extra sounds, feeding into mens egos. You got distracted with everything that Izzy had been doing to you. “Sorry, I’m not usually…” You trailed, trying to find the right words.

“Don’t worry, I don’t need loud, I get enough loud, I like quiet.” He ran calloused hands over your thighs, giving them a squish before he started moving, rolling his hips to meet yours, gradually going faster until he found a pace he liked, one that had soft breaths leaving you like a second language.

Your hands twitched, arms aching from behind you. He had so much power and control over you, you couldn’t move, completely at his mercy, yet he treated you so sweetly. He didn’t hurt you, he cared for your pleasure before his, checking in on you every few minutes.

He moved slightly, angling himself differently and hitting that spongey spot in you, ripping a gasp from you. He chuckled lowly. “Right there, huh?” You nodded eagerly.

“Right there, right there, please, daddy~!” His hips jerked at the name before he smiled and quickly went back to what he was doing, hitting that same spot over and over until it was all you could say.

The name slipped off your lips repeatedly as that knot came undone, a wave of fire flooding you.

Izzy let you ride it out before pulling out of you and jerking himself off, finishing on your rope laced stomach.

He took his time helping you out of the rope, tired himself and watching your eyes flutter before crawling into bed next to you and pulling you to his side. “You don’t look like you’re going far tonight.” He said, voice soft and a little raspy from being tired.

You shook your head, nuzzling into him. “I-I’d like to stay here tonight, if that’s ok.”

He smiled and nodded, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. “No, I won’t make you leave if you don’t make me pay.”

You chuckled at that. “Deal.”

He let out a sigh, relaxing into the mattress. “You don’t have a passport, do you?” He asked after a moment of silence.

You looked up at him, brows furrowed in confusion. “I do, why?”

He smiled back up at you. “I’ll take you with me wherever you want on tour, buy you whatever you want, I just want a pretty girl on my arm, someone to love, someone to make happy.”

[unknownperson246]

imagine modern Izzy sending you this snap

PLEASE WRITE A HOT AND STEAMY SMUT ABT IT

Modern Izzy Stradlin: My Whore

words: 726

warnings: *smut* *p in v* *protective Izzy* *a small alcoholic drink* *daddy kink* *multiple orgasms* *f receiving* *teasing* *cum eating* *cum play* *cussing* *begging* *dry humping*

☆ ★ ✮ ★ ☆☆ ★ ✮ ★ ☆☆ ★ ✮ ★ ☆☆ ★ ✮ ★ ☆ You were at a bar without your 62-year-old boyfriend. You missed him so bad and all you could think about was him. While drinking your fresh martini you feel a vibration from your phone. The ringer was off and you grabbed your phone from your purse. You saw a notification from Izzy. You open your messages and see a photo with Woody in the background that Izzy sent you. It says “Better not be cheating on daddy”. You think it's funny and start to chuckle. You decide to head home and you find Izzy sitting on his brown leather couch watching TV. You didn't know Izzy was mad at you because he thought you were out with other guys. The photo he sent was kind of serious, once you found out he was jealous it made you giggle even more.

“Where the hell were you Y/N” He spits.

“I sure as hell wasn't out with other guys,” you say reassuringly.

Izzy thinks your tone is sarcastic and he gets up from the couch. He grabs your arm and puts you on his shoulder.

“Izzy what the hell?” you yell.

He throws you on the couch. You are lying on the brown leather couch now. He doesn't say anything he gets on top of you. He starts to tease you by rubbing his cock that was still in his jeans on your covered pussy. You could feel his throbbing cock on your sensitive pussy. He is dry-humping you and he knows how much you hate it. You get up with only your panties on

“Izzy stop I want real sex” You whine.

“You're a fucking whore did you know that?” Izzy says chuckling.

“I’m your whore Izzy” you whisper in his ear seductively.

“Were you cheating on Daddy?” Izzy asks.

“No, I wasn't,” you say.

“Good now let Daddy take care of you” He whispers.

“Daddy fuck me” you beg him.

“I will” Izzy whispers into your ear.

Izzy starts to play with your bare tits. He lays you down on his brown leather couch. It smelled like Izzy and his cigarettes. He begins to bite you all over your neck viciously. The bites didn't hurt he knew what he was doing and it felt good. You let a small whimper escape your lips.

“Oh,” you moan.

Izzy swiftly takes his jeans off. He takes his simple black button-up off. He is on top of you and is still getting a taste of your neck. 

“How do I taste daddy?” 

He doesn't answer your question yet. He swiftly takes your panties off and he places his erect cock at your pussy that was throbbing for his attention. Izzy is enjoying teasing you and taking his time.

“Hurry up Daddy” you whine.

“You're so needy for me you whore” He chuckles cruelly.

You don't deny it and keep letting him do whatever he wants to you. “Daddy please fuck me now” you beg.

His cock that was placed at your entrance now. He penetrates you. He starts tortuously slow and he picks up the pace. He grinds his pulsating dick on your quivering pussy even rougher.

“Fuck Daddy that feels so good” You make every effort not to moan to tease him but you can't help it.

“I know it does baby.” He says out of breath.

Your pussy tightens around his dick and you start to squirt on his dick. 

“Your so tight baby” Izzy purrs into your ear.

You start to dig your nails into his back. Izzy loves the feeling of your nails against his back. He knows that you feel his love. You start to feel his cum shooting up. You feel liquid dripping down your thighs. He lets himself out of you and squats down to your thighs. He starts licking the stringy white goo. His lips keep making his way up and he opens your legs apart. He starts to eat you out. His tongue flickering on your wet pussy eating your come. His tongue goes over your wet folds and you can't help but grab his head with your hand. 

“Oh Daddy” you moan.

“Cum for me again baby,” he says as you feel his breath on your bare pussy. You start feel to like your going to cum again and there is more liquid going down your thighs now.

[crazyk-imagine]

Ruined Relationships, but the Love is There

Pairing: Mark Sloane x Ex-Girlfriend!reader

Characters: Mark Sloane, Ex-Girlfriend!reader, Kara Sloane, Jackson Avery, April Kepner, Meredith Grey, Christina Yang, Derek Sheppard, George O'Malley, Owen Hunt, Addison Montgomery (briefly mentioned)

Warnings: Angst, fluff, cheating, adultery, ooc peeps, minor cursing, drama (what else would you expect), like a lot of drama, near death experience, classic grey's things going on here, cheating, bad relationships, mentions of pregnancy, keeping children hidden from father, car accidents, reader is a doctor, everyone is in kahoots, Christina is into beating, Meredith and Derek are cute, Bailey is great as always, George is here and lives, no mentions of Izzie or Alex, friendships between Mark and Meredith, plus Mark and Christina, Christina is a secret romantic at heart

Word Count: 4,593

A/N: I feel like everyone is ooc but idc bc I love this fic

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You ignore him, praying to whatever god is listening to keep him away from you.

Meredith and Christina notice the tension in your shoulders, sharing a look.

“You know I don’t care about a lot of people but, are you okay?” the curly haired female asks.

You shrug, acting as if nothing has changed. “I’m fine, why?”

Meredith chimes in. “You’re looking a little-“

“Squirrely?”

“I was gonna go with tense but squirrely works.”

You huff through your nose, “would you two shut up.” You hand the clipboard back to your favorite nurse, Marjorie. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” You spin around and walk out, not looking back.

Derek shakes his head, watching you basically run out of the hospital.

Mark glances behind him, not finding who he wanted and sighs. He looks up to see his friend and offers a small wave.

The ferry boat lover nods to acknowledge him.

The plastic surgeon bids the others goodbye and stands in front of the doors, thinking about everything that led him here.

You drive past him without realizing it as he thinks of your face when you caught him in bed with Addison.

His eyes trail on the car, wishing he could see you again and not just glimpses.

-

You roll your eyes and walk away across the bridge, not caring how unprofessional you look. “I’m not talking to you.”

He picks up his pace, following after you. “Please just-“

You scoff, spinning around to face him, “no, I tried before. I did and then,” you lean forward poking him in his chest, “you decided to stick your dick in someone else. Someone who was married and oh, yeah, not your girlfriend.” You cross your arms, “so, excuse me for not being particularly excited at the sight of you.”

“Fiancé.”

You blink once, furrowing your brows. “What?”

“I was,” he gulps. "I was going to propose to you that night.” He pulls the little black box out of his pocket, handing it to you.

”Before or after you screwed Addison,” you bitterly add, staring at the box. If you open it, that's giving him hope.

"I- she came to me and-“

You scoff hard enough for the vibrations to scratch your throat for a few seconds. “I cannot believe this- you- you think it’s okay to just- I’m done.”

“Please don’t,” he begs, eyes getting glossier the more you talk. “Don’t say it.”

Your bottom lip wobbles, removing your gaze from him. “I’m done with this, with us, and you. Now, you get to deal with the guilt. If you have any at all.” You slam the box in his hand and walk away.

Nothing could have prepared anyone at the hospital for this.

You know they’re all looking at you and it pisses you off. “What are you looking at?!”

Christina does damage control, stopping everyone from getting your wrath.

-

Meredith finds him in the on-call room, she was hoping to nap before joining in on a surgery but seems like the universe had other plans. ”You uh- okay?”

He fiddles with the box, staring at the diamond that taunts him. “Does it look I’m okay?”

She shrugs, “not really but it’s better than admitting you were stupid for messing things up with her.”

“My mistake brought Derek to you, didn’t it?”

“Why are you here?”

“If I go to Joe’s I’m going to sleep around, proving her point.”

“And staying here?”

“I don’t know where else to go. Derek is still upset with me, and I don’t blame him, but I know he loves you and I don’t need to hear a speech from him. I’m not ready for him to tell me I messed up more than any of us want to admit.”

“Why did you do it?”

“Do what?” He asks, finally looking up from the ring. “I was scared.”

“To,” she gestures to the ring.

“That and be a husband.”

“You weren’t scared of asking, it was the commitment that got you, I can understand it.”

“No, no," he shakes his head. "I didn’t think- I knew I wouldn’t be a good husband. I- everyone only saw the bad, my parents, Derek at times but she didn’t. She never did and that’s why I,” he lets out a tearful chuckle, “that’s why I fell for her. She saw the good no one else did and I screwed it up.”

Meredith hands him a tissue.

“You tell anyone about this, and I’ll let you observe one of my surgeries beside me.”

“I wasn’t but if you’re offering.”

The two chuckled.

-

Christina owlishly blinks, watching as you work on your last patient for the day as if nothing’s happened.

“How can she just put it all behind her?” George questions, sitting beside her.

“Having a nervous breakdown earlier in the day helps.”

“I feel like there should be someone sitting between us.”

The future cardiologist shrugs, “suit yourself.���

“You’re going to check on her after she’s done, right?”

“I’ll talk to her, if she opens up, good for her.”

A smile dances across his lips, happy that someone’s going to check on you; he likes you and admires your work, knowing you could be someone as well-known as Ellis Grey.

-

“Can you teach me your sutures?”

You ignore her and finish checking over your charts. “Yours are fine. Tell me the real reason you're bugging me.”

She purses her lips, not wanting to admit it out loud. “Are you okay?”

“You really want to know?”

She hesitates to nod. “I… do.”

“It sucks. Everything just… sucks. I don’t want to be here, but this is the only place that makes me feel calm.” You hand Marjorie the chart, smiling at her before returning to Christina. “I’m going to get through this. He’s going to find a nice girl and have the family he always wanted while I’ll still be here.”

“He’s going to go through girls like I go through tequila.”

“I know,” you grab your bag. “Which is why I know he’ll finally find his girl.”

She follows you until you reach the door. "What if it's you?"

A sad smile stretches across your lips. "He lost her."

”Forever?”

You shrug.

The resident stands there, unsure of what to do now.

-

You glance in his direction, wondering how many women he’s going to write down on the sheet. You hand yours back to Bailey, “I keep my life outside of work, unlike some people.”

Mark inwardly groans.

Bailey avoids making eye contact with him, she can’t continue to feel bad for him when he’s the one who messed things up (from what you told her).

You walk past the new residents, not in the mood to deal with them, especially with the girls fawning over Mark.

-

You sit down and watch his surgery, listening to the way he talks down to them.

You always told him he needs to slow down and be kind to them or else they won’t respect him but with everything that’s happened, you assume he’s a little bitter.

He always knows when you're watching and composes himself, but he can’t help and snap at the newbie (you don’t need to be talked about as if you’re a piece of meat). He glances up, catching your gaze.

You gulp, finding his soft expression he only used for you.

Everyone turns to you.

Two of the girls in orange start gossiping beside you.

“I have charts to look over. Come with me?” George asks.

You nod, finding it hard to keep your gaze off him but do so, only to inform the girls of some key information. “Keep talking like that and you two won’t find yourself off bedpan duty for a few months. Don’t talk about your superiors like that again."

The young faced one eyes widen and her face pales at your threat.

Mark can’t help but smirk behind his mask, always loving it when you straightened people out, if it was necessary.

-

"I see you two still aren’t talking.”

“Shut up, George.”

“Right, yeah. Got it.”

-

You try and ignore him again, which is when Derek steps in. “You should talk to him.”

“I know you two are all buddy buddy now, but I can’t do that. I can’t pretend like he didn’t break my heart in two. So, excuse me for ignoring your best friend."

He stops in front of you. “I need you to stop, think about this. What if you two don’t make amends and something happens? How would you feel? Think about how he would feel?”

“We’d be depressed, but eventually get over it, maybe be slutty for a few months and that’s the end of it.”

“That’s not a healthy way of dealing with your feelings and you know it.”

“I don’t care if it’s healthy or not. I have issues and I deal with them my way.”

“If you’d talk to him, maybe you’ll feel better.”

You roll your eyes and head into the prep station before you two head into surgery.

-

Bailey rolls her eyes, reaching for your phone. “Your phone keeps buzzing, doctor.”

You sigh, “does it look important?”

She leans closer, whispering, “it’s about your daughter.”

“Daycare or babysitter?”

“Babysitter. Fever, wants her mom.”

You take a deep breath and lean over to talk to your friend, “doctor Bailey’s going to take over. I need to go.”

“You’re leaving in the middle of a surgery?”

“I have to take care of something.”

“What?”

“My daughter.”

The staff in the OR got quiet, no one observing said anything.

You didn’t see the lights until it was too late.

-

“We got one adult in critical condition. One child with a minor bruising.”

Bailey and Owen are the first to arrive.

The woman’s eyes narrow to the familiar baby in Matt’s arms.

Owen steps forward. “What happened?”

“Car accident. Drunk ran a red light. Drivers side took more of the impact.”

“We need to get her checked out now.” The redhead pushes himself through, taking over one of the rooms. He tells the interns and fresh residents to prep a surgical room and put Christina on babysitting duty, leaving Jackson to follow him and Callie into the OR.

“I heard there was an accident,” Mark says, standing in the doorway. “I wanted to see if you needed any assistance?”

Callie glances at her ally in the room. “No, you should go check on Derek. I think I heard him calling for you.”

“When did he-"

“She’s coding,” Jackson interrupts.

“Crap! Avery, push one of epi.”

Everyone in the room prays for it to work and you to come back.

“Let me help,” he takes a step forward before being called away by one of the nurses.

-

He takes a sip of coffee, goes over the notes and overhears a few residents gossiping. His head whips in their direction. "Where'd you hear that?” He asks them, not accepting their answers.

They freeze. "Where did you hear that? Is she here?"

The group of residents’ glances at one another, unsure of what to say. "Who told you she's here?"

April had never worked with Mark before and seeing how freaked out he was over someone who wanted almost nothing to do with him, she felt bad; if someone she was in love with was hurt or worse, she'd want to know. "We- we saw her come in. They-"

He doesn't listen to anything else and takes off, running past Christina, who coddles the tear eyed, red faced toddler in her arms.

-

He runs straight towards Meredith, who's talking to Owen. "Where is she?"

The red head takes a step foward. "She's in surgery-"

"What room?"

"Sloan, you know I can't-"

He grabs Owen's scrubs by the collar and pulls him close. "I need to see her. I can't be here, waiting to see if she's dead or not. Tell me where she is."

The ex-vet slowly reaches for the man's hands. "Mark, I need you to calm down."

"How can I calm down when I just found out my fiancé is in surgery?"

-

Meredith takes a seat beside him, slumping against the wall, offering him a snack.

He shakes his head, closes his eyes and resting his head against the wall. "Have you heard anything?"

"No," she shakes her head. "I don't even know where she is."

"I just- what am I going to do if she's really-"

"Don't talk like that. She's not one to give up. She's-"

"A fighter?"

"Yeah."

Christina turns the corner, eyes wide. "Meredith?" She spots the two of them and runs towards them, inadvertently introducing your daughter to her father. "Mer. Mer. I need your help."

"Where did you get a baby?" She pushes herself off the floor. "Why do you have a baby?"

"Bailey put me on Kara duty and she won't stop crying."

"Whose baby, is it?"

That's when things got awkward.

Meredith's eyes widen, "no."

She nods.

Mark opens his eyes, glancing up. His eyes stop on the little girl, who glances his way.

She reaches for him. "Dada."

No one knew what to do.

"Oh my god," the two women muttered.

He pushes himself off the floor, staring at her. There's no mistaking it, she has your features, but she's got his eyes.

The little girl fusses in the woman's arms.

Mark easily slides her into his, his daughter settles into his arms, staring at him with those wide, curious eyes. "Mama?"

He gulps, "we have to wait a little bit before we see mama, okay?"

She nods and lays her head down on his chest.

He closes his eyes to keep his tears at bay, kissing the top of her head.

-

"She still loves you," Christina tells him.

He keeps his gaze on his girls and hums. "When you showed her the ring, she didn't say it was officially over for you two but she's still heartbroken over you and Addison getting together."

"I was getting ready to leave."

"What?"

"I grabbed my jacket and made sure I had the ring. I was- I wanted that night to go perfectly but then I opened the door, and she was there." He sighs.

"She let herself in and I tried to get her to leave but she wouldn't and then she kissed me. I told her I couldn't because I was about to become a proud married man," he bitterly chuckles.

"I told her no and she got upset because she knew she could always run to me but when she knew she couldn't anymore, she decided she wanted to love me. The way I wanted her to when we were younger. I accepted it, you know."

The woman nods.

"I accepted the fact that she chose Derek. He was a good choice."

"He was a safe choice, and she knew that."

Mark nods, "yeah and that's why I... tried to warn him before he proposed."

"You tried to warn him?"

"He's my best friend, I couldn't let him go into a marriage that was going to hurt him."

She chuckles, "that's ironic."

"Shut up, Yang."

"Go on."

"I gave into her because a part of me was scared- scared I was going to hear the rejection. No, I can't marry you because..."

"You're a manwhore?"

"Baby present and, yes. I didn't want my past to define my future but then, it did, and she left with Derek."

"Do you think Derek knew about," Christina gestures to the baby in his arms.

"Probably. I'm not happy I missed it but at least I know she had someone who could take care of her."

"Are you ever going to tell her?"

"If she'll listen."

Her pager beeps.

"Go, Yang. I'm not leaving."

Derek nods and steps into the room.

"You hear all that?"

His friend shrugs, "only the good parts."

"Funny."

"She was going to tell you before... everything happened but then she needed to get away and I did too-"

"So, she left without saying anything."

"If it means anything, she wrote a journal throughout the entire pregnancy, in case she passed, and Kara wanted to know about her mom."

He can tell by Mark's expression; he needs to explain.

"She was stressed throughout the entire pregnancy, and it was cause for concern. She had a few fainting spells and needed to stay home for a while. The doctor was making it seem like if she even went to the bathroom, she was going to lose Kara which scared her more than leaving you."

"Why?"

"If she lost Kara, it meant losing a piece of you which would have made her feel like it was officially over for the two of you."

Your heart monitor beeps. "Derek?"

His friend calms you down, checking you over before whispering that Mark and Kara are in the room.

You slowly turn your head, spotting them.

The father of your child smiles, relieved to see you awake. "Hey."

You spot your little girl tucked into his neck and tear up. You bring your hand up to your mouth to hide the sobs that want to escape.

Mark gestures for your guys' friend to exit so he can talk to you. He slowly pushes himself out of the chair, adjusting to the little girl. "Hey, hey," he brushes the few strands of hair out of your face, his thumb rubbing agaist your hairline. "What's going on in that pretty little head of yours?"

"I'm sorry."

He shakes his head. "Don't be. I'm just- I'm happy you're okay."

"I wanted to call you so many times."

"I know."

"I wanted you to be there."

"Where?"

"In the room," you whisper, staring into his eyes. "I didn't want her to be away from you but-"

He nods. "I know, I messed up. If I didn't- if it didn't happen, we could have been a family, and I will forever be sorry because you went through it alone."

Hearing your voice alerts the little girls’ ears and she squirms in his grasp.

He sets her feet on the open area near your arm, letting her turn around and launch herself into your arms. "Mama!"

"Oh, my sweet baby." You kiss the side of her head. "Mama missed you."

His heart swells at the sight of you two.

-

A few days later and you feel okay enough to be sent home.

You bid your goodbyes to everyone, even the newbies because they were nice enough to check in on you and make sure everything was okay. You step outside and take a deep breath.

"What do you think you're doing?"

A quiet moment ruined by your ex.

"I'm breathing, Mark. Can I do that, or do you need to make sure the weather's just right?"

He chuckles before getting out of the car. "You know your doctor gave you strict orders, I think you should be following them but that's just me."

You stare at him with a deadpan expression. "I got it, Mark. I know what I need to do, don't try and patronize me."

"I would never."

-

The residents huddle together, watching the two of you.

"How much do you want to bet that they're going to get back together?" Christina asks.

Jackson nods, "I'll take that bet."

Meredith stares at the two of them.

"You two are awful," April adds.

"Yes, but we'll be bad people with money," the future cardiologist tells her with a sarcastic smile.

Derek stops at the desk, taking a sip of his coffee before making his way to the group. "Okay, if we're all done gawking at two grown adults trying to move past their differences, can we get back to work?"

"You're no fun. I remember when you were having fun."

"You want to scrub in on my surgery, Dr. Yang?"

"Let's go have fun. See yah, Mer."

-

You make it through the door of your place and wait for it. "Say it."

"What?" He closes the door, setting the stroller by the door as he unbuckles Kara.

"I know you're judging, so, out with it. I'm not going to pretend as if you don't want to say something because you do."

"I don't," he notices the look you're giving him. "I... like it."

"You hesitated even finishing that sentence."

"I did not."

"Did too."

"Mama!"

You two glance down at the little girl, wanting attention and out of her father's grasp. You gently take her from him and wander into the kitchen, scouring through the cabinets to figure out what kind of things you could have as a snack.

This is what he wants, he wants this life: the one where you're not mad at him, and he can watch his daughter grow while you look amazing at being a mom.

He gulps down what little saliva he has in his mouth and takes a hesitant step closer to you. "What are we feeling?"

You hum, "I don't know, little miss here can't decide on what she wants."

"I can make something," he meekly offers, unsure if this is too much or not.

"What can you make? Last time I checked all you knew was protein smoothies and even then, that wasn't the best."

He scoffs, "I know how to cook, and you know it. You forget who made you dinner for our second date."

You open your mouth to respond but don't have it in you when you think about the good times you two had. Your gaze drops.

He feels bad but he can't pretend as if your romantic past doesn't exist. "I was so worried I messed up with that dinner."

"Really?"

"Of course, I was cooking for the most beautiful girl within a five-mile radius of my house. I was more than nervous."

"Good."

-

You step out of the room and start cleaning up, only for Mark to stop you and grab everything you pick up.

"I told you not to do anything. I got this."

You lean over the couch and watch him wander around your place. "Do you..."

"What?" He glances up, staring at you with kind eyes, wanting to hear what you have to say.

"Do you ever wonder what it would have been like if it didn't happen?"

"I know we'd be married with at least one other kid now."

"I'm serious."

"I don't want to focus on the past."

You scoff, rolling your eyes.  "Says the man who always wanted to ask about my exes."

-

You don't even know how it happened but here you are. You pull away, needing to breathe before continuing.

"Are you sure about this?"

You stare into his eyes, for what feels like an eternity. "I'm sure. I want this. Please," you beg.

His lips curve upwards, "who am I to deny you a fun time?"

You keep him at arm’s length, "that comment makes me want to rethink this whole thing."

"No, it doesn't."

You grumble and pull him back in for a kiss.

Meredith immediately closes the door, regretting not checking before opening. "Seriously you guys?"

You reach for your shirt and cover your mouth to hide your giggles, Mark turns to you with a smirk. "How do you know we weren't trying to invite you?"

"Because you know better."

Your eyes widen.

"Hey, Bailey," he says with a cool tone.

"You two better be out of there in the next five minutes or-"

You open the door and run past the two. "See yah, Bails. See yah, Mer."

Mark stays there flabbergasted at how quickly you ran out the door, leaving him to deal with her.

-

He closes the door just as you finish making dinner. "You are evil."

You stick your bottom lip out, "I don't think so, I made dinner. I'm going to be feeding you, I'd consider that to be something nice."

"You left me to deal with that- that woman alone."

"I left you with Bails, you were fine."

"I was not fine. I was far from fine."

You click your tongue, "stop exaggerating."

"I'm not and you know it."

"Okay," you groan. "I'm sorry. I left you with Bailey and that wasn't nice."

"It wasn't." He wraps his arms around your waist, resting his head on your chest.

"I said sorry, don't be like this."

"I think I'm going to need a little more in order to forgive you."

You lean into him as you settle into his arms.

The monitor goes off and you're brought back to the reality of you being in the arms of your ex.

You push yourself out of his grasp and walk towards her room. "Hey, pumpkin."

She holds her arms out for you.

You pick her up, "how's my little baby?"

She babbles a response. "Dada?"

"He's still here, checking on dinner. Your favorite."

"Maccheese!"

You chuckle, "yeah."

"There's my favorite girl," he smiles at the happy little girl.

You observe the way they interact with a heavy heart, knowing you can't continue doing this with him.

-

"What happened?" Christina asks, practicing new sutures on a banana.

"Nothing happened-"

"You're not sleeping with McSteamy, something happened."

"I just- I realized we need to not fall back into old habits."

"Do you still love him?"

You hesitate to answer.

"I'll take that as a yes."

"Of course, of course I still love him, but I can't be in love with him-"

"Because he was an adulterous whore?"

"Yeah."

"Have you seen him with anyone else?"

"I didn't need to see anything if all the girls talked about him?"

"Did you ever think maybe they lied? Maybe they're jealous of the fact that you have a hot guy fawning over you and only you. What else would they do other than gossip?"

"How am I supposed to believe that?"

"Have you ever talked to him?"

"I'm scared."

"So is he."

"I don't want to get hurt again."

"He wouldn’t want to lose you again."

"Christina?"

"Yeah?"

"You're wise beyond your years."

-

You run to him, pulling him into the break room.

He attempts to get up. "Shut up and let me talk."

You take a deep breath, "I want to be with you, like we were before but we're not those people anymore. And- and I want you to be in Kara's life so you can watch her grow up but this," you gesture between the two of you.

"This can only work if we're honest and you don't leave me for a quick lay or else, I will put you in an OR and change things about you. I will not put myself or Kara on the line if you're not going to give us your all."

He nods, taking in everything you've said. He pushes himself off the couch and walks towards you and pulls you in for a hug. "I'm never letting you go," he mumbles into your hair. "Living without you was the worst time of my life."

Mark pulls away, cupping your cheek, staring into your eyes. "If you let me into your lives, I promise not to mess it up because you two are too important to me and I don't know if I'd be able to live without you."

You sniffle, chuckling at his dorky smile. "Then don't be an idiot and kiss me."

-

"Finally," Christina turns around, pointing to everyone. "You all owe me money."

"Us."

"You owe Mer and I money."

Derek makes his way towards them. "What are we looking at?" He smiles, "good, it's about time he got his act together."

[he-goes-down]

I'm gonna give it to you straight, i want smut. I want Izzy's face SAT ON by the reader.

That's it, thank you

You’re literally my twin omg - sorry if its dookie

Masterlist

Too Funky

Pairing: Izzy Stradlin x reader

Warnings: oralF! Recieving

Second Person POV:

Izzy laid on the bed on his back, as you were by the closet searching for clothes the wear. The bed was quiet close to the closet so you would take an occasional seat on the edge laying your clothes next to each other and throwing the best ones in one pile and the second best back into the closet. Izzy continued to rest in his back, his head close the edge resting next to your thigh, looking up at you from an upside down point of view. He watched everything you did quietly and intently. He was normally like that before doing something mischievous, but you didn’t pay much attention to his actions before he did something. You stood up again, putting a few hangers back and then getting new ones out, before sitting back down again.

You gasped as felt Izzy’s nose brush against the fabric that clothed your heat. You immediately tried to stand up straight so that you wouldn’t suffocate him. But he had his hands firmly placed on your thighs holding you down. You had thought nearly sitting in his face was an accident, seemed like he planned this. “Izzy!” You shrieked, trying to hover over his face and not plant your self on him with your whole weight. The feelings of his nose so close to your heat made your area start to pool with wetness. You had finally gotten out of his grasped, turned on your heel and looked at him, he was still lying down with a pleading look on his face. His eyes desperate and filled with lust. You looked back at him with the same lust and desire, telling him that he could continue his plans. He took a hold of your thighs again from the back and dragged you closer to his face again. He maintained eye contact as he squeezed your thighs and soon you could only see his neck as his mouth and nose were hovering so close to your wet core. “Sit.” He spoke, the words hitting of your clothed pussy and sending shivering through you. A small whine escaped you in response to the feeling. You had never actually really sat on his face before, you had hovered and had him devour you in different positions, but you were scared of putting your whole weight on him. “Izzy! Fuck… please, what if I hurt you.” You spoke in concern but still having that teasing feeling of him underneath you. “ I don’t fucking care.” He said. God he was so fucking crazy for you, especially when he got close enough to taste you, all his morals and self control were out the window.

Izzy began to press his face up into you, and start kissing the fabric of your pants, making you whine and moan at the amazing feeling. But shit it wasn’t enough for him. He got out from under you and started to quickly rip off your pants and start to kiss your clit through laced panties. It still wasn’t enough, he wanted you to suffocate him, he didn’t care, he wanted to be gasping for air but only taste you in return. He went to lie on the bed properly in the middle and beckoned you over. You kissed eachother passionately while Izzy’s hands trailed to your hips and began to take off your panties. “Please…” he spoke between kisses. You stopped the kiss in order to know what he wanted so bad. “Please, baby, just fucking sit on my face.” He said it straight to the point, all the while his hand was about to explore your pussy. You whined at the feeling of him touching you as he begged to give you pleasure. “What if I hurt you?” You said with worry. “ I don’t fucking care.” He begged. If he was on death row you would be his last meal. You breathed a shaky exhale and agreed to try.

Every piece of clothing was off, your legs next to his head, hovering over his face. Feeling his hot breath on you made you shiver, making you even wetter. “Sit.” He commanded. You lowered your self on his face, your core muscles working as you didn’t put you full weight on him. His nose pressed against your clit, his mouth parted and he licked in between your folds. His tongue teased your soaking cunt. You felt his breath hard on you, in frustration. Then inhaling before taking your hips roughly and pulled you down, having you fully use his face like a chair. It set something off in him and he began to ravish you. Sucking, kissing, biting,licking. Getting more and more aggressive and desperate at eating you as you moaned his name loudly. “Izzy…” you moaned, trying to get a bit further from his face as he hadn’t taken a breath in ages. But he pulled you back down with even more force. “I said sit.” You heard him growl under you. The vibrations sending to your clit making your hips buck and grind on his face. He groaned as you grind on him, his whole heart and soul quivered with list hearing and feeling you as he pleased you, to him that was the only thing that mattered.

“Izzy… Fuck…” you moaned, your hips bucked as Izzy’s skillful tongue explored you inside, licking up all your wetness. Your clit grinding on his gorgeous nose. You clenched around his tongue as you got close, he groaned again, knowing he was the reason you were feeling bliss. “I’m- Izzy… I’m gonna cum… fuck.” You moaned louder. Shaking under Izzy’s strong hands and on his perfect face. You moved away from his face again as you shook, feeling your climax about to burst. He brought you back to him face, wanting you to cum on his mouth, he wanted to drown in your sweet taste. He continued to eat you out like it was his last meal on earth. You gripped his hair, riding out your orgasm on his face. “Izzy!” You moaned in ecstasy as you came all over his mouth and face. “Fuck…” you sighed as your body shook softly. Trying to get off his face as you finished, but only to be brought back to sit on him for another time and he licked and lapped your cum and slick, licking you clean.

You soon did get the chance to get off from his face, him gasping for air as a string of spit and wet connected his mouth to your cunt. Him looking up at you with eyes of a man that just saw heaven. Licking his lips as he sat up and you moved to sit on his lap.

“Fuck, I love you so much… you taste so fucking good.” He said as he held you to his chest and combed his fingers through your hair. Your heartbeat slowly as you drifted to a sleepy state.

[o-wild-west-wind]

tumblr algorithm stop feeding me takes that this show is just a silly goofy comedy that shouldn’t include death or that Izzy is the token disabled elder queer on the show where an actual disabled elder queer is literally the romantic lead or that Lucius and Pete being called “mateys” is diluting their gayness because it’s not “husbands” or that it’s sexist that Zheng lost her fleet and later prioritized her love for a man or that Ed is Izzy’s abuser because we conveniently forgot all of season 1 or that trauma is never followed through with because sometimes actions are used instead of words or that Ed learned nothing because the inn was apparently a whim as if he hasn’t been obsessing over retirement from day 1 I swear did we even watch the same show?? I literally feel like I’m in backwards land?

I have a really novel concept for y’all complaining about character’s arcs not being fully resolved or healed and that’s called there is supposed to be another season of this show

I also have another really novel concept as to why every single character did not have a one on one trauma apology session and so much time was spent on Ed and Stede and that is because this is literally the Ed and Stede show and also sometimes parallels are meant to be inferred and extrapolated because that is what efficient storytelling does instead of spoonfeeding you

And my most novel concept of all as to why some beloved characters had less screen time is because Max is a massive jerk and cut the budget

Y’all this wasn’t personal and maybe this show was never about Izzy maybe the show called our flag means death is actually about death maybe sad does not equal homophobic letdown maybe the brown gay character introduced as the love interest from day 1 gets to outlive the angry white guy that had a redemption arc after actively bullying and trying to break up every gay couple for a season I don’t know what to tell you just can you please let non-white people have this arc for once without assuming it’s an attack on you I’m BEGGING y’all

[letsdeerintheheadlightsuniverse]

<<Previous Chapter <<

**Masterlist**

>>Next Chapter>>

Pairing: Izzy Hands x gn!reader

Synopsis: Your screams of pain sound all too familiar to the First Mate.

A/N: This chapter is short and sweet but I think it nicely moves yours and Izzy's dynamic in a new direction.

Content Warning: mentions of injuries, trauma, blood, self-harm and angst. I think that's everything. This series is 18+, so minors dni. Go away (politely).

DISCLAIMER: PLEASE DO NOT REPOST, REPUBLISH, OR TRANSLATE MY WORK ANYWHERE WITHOUT MY EXPLICIT PERMISSION. I DO NOT OWN OFMD OR ANY OF ITS CHARACTERS. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

=============================

"Are you okay now, Izzy?"

Gods, what a question to be asking him, the First Mate thought bitterly, as he failed to meet you concerned gaze, all the while sitting stoically in a chair beside your bed. You had dared reach for his hand only moments prior, but that had merely resulted in the silver-haired pirate flinching away from your touch.

It hurt to see him so closed off and unreachable, as he paid mind to whatever unpleasant thoughts were undoubtedly running through his head. A never-ending torment that sneered venomous poision and jeered at how he had once again letting you down.

He was a fucking coward, the First Mate concluded, as his attention trailed from the sight of his bitten down nails, towards the vivid world beyond the window. Despite the butter yellow warmth, Izzy felt chilled to the bone. The cold reminiscent of his time in the row boat, when he had searched for the overboard body of Pete, below the tumultuous, midnight blue waves.

A shiver ran through him, shaking up his already fragile insides. Gods, his constitution felt gossamer thin. The unshakeable Israel Hands, reduced to a snivelling, faint-hearted...twat, all because he could not steel his nerve long enough to be unaffected by your screams. Oh, how you had begged him to stop the doctor. The heartbreaking deals you had been willing to make in those tortuous moments. The deals with the devil, you had bargained in return for your freedom from the pain you had endured- all equally distressing for the poor pirate. The sight of blood and a limb at risk had been too much for Izzy to handle. Too similar to his own fate upon the Revenge, all those many moons ago.

His name had fallen so saccharine sweet and full of longing from your chapped lips, while a contrasting frown marred your enviable features, as the First Mate had abruptly fled from the room but even your desperate calls for his return were admittedly, not enough to drown out the ghosts of long before. The smell of rotting flesh, of gunshots wounds and putrid blood, had haunted him all down the hallway, as he put as much distance between himself and you.

Despite his wanting to be by your side, the overwhelming recollection of his own suffering had become too much for the First Mate to handle alone. Surprisingly, he had found solace from those he often held in contempt. The crew of the Revenge had welcomed him with open arms and even softer reassurances. He hated it. Loathing their pitiful gazes and attempts to console his traumatised mind.

It had to be some kind of sick joke. You were the one who needed comfort. Needed soothing words to inspire strength. He wondered, in his shameful absence, who had taken his place to hold you hand. Both Captains had be present to witness his act of cowardice but they were too busy holding your writhing body in place. Come to mention it, he had no laid eyes upon Buttons, when the rest of the crew had come to his aid. Had the mystic been by your side?

"Izzy, please speak to me." you implored, anticipating your request to be met with further silence, but the pirate surprised you this time.

"I didn't mean to leave you again. Gods, I'm..." he could not even finish his apology. The words felt so hollow, so insincere in the wake of his cowardice. How many more times was he to utter 'I'm sorry' to you? How many more times would you forgive him until you reached your limit and showed him the door? Or perhaps you would always accept his regretful acknowledgement, and he would abuse such a kindness time and time again, like the detestable creature he was. Never knowing when to stop and only ever pushing at everyone's boundaries until they snapped and showed him no mercy. What would such a punishment look like at your hand, the pirate wondered.

He was entitled to your wrath and yet, why the fuck were you being so nice to him? Talking calmly and handing him a cloth to wipe his tears. Wait, when had he started crying? Salt water tracked down the weary man's face, as you pressed a torn piece of rag into his hand, urging him to wipe away the evidence of sorrow. "I know." you said with such simplicity and ease, conveying all your understanding and acceptance so concisely in two singular words. Your tone completely devoid of any judgement or resentment.

The look of innocent consolation sent an involuntary flare of anger through the silver-haired pirate, igniting his quick fire rage in an instant. "Don't fucking agree with me." his hissed, eyes ablaze with disgust. Not for you. No, the abhorrance was not really directed towards you. Izzy was digusted with his own actions but old habits died hard. Lashing out at the nearest person, whether by tongue or by sword, was second nature to him. "Don't...don't be so fucking nice all the time. Just for once, would you shout at me? Push me away. Be selfish, be-be angry! Scream at me. Fucks sake, hurt me even. Treat me how I fucking deserve to be treated!" he implored you, breathless at his own admission. Chest rising and falling in rapid succession.

He craved the pain. The familiar sting of a slap or a bite- whichever you were willing to provide. It was a language he spoke well. Violence spoke all of the words he coukd not voice. A punch, a kick, a hand around his throat. Izzy knew what they represented, he understood their deeper meaning. You and that Stede fucking Bonnet, with all your 'talking it through as a crew' bullshit. That was the true enigma for the First Mate. Emotions were battled channelled through actions, rather than whatever drivel the Gentleman Pirate could ever babble on about.

Except, there was no retaliation on your part. No breaking him into submission. Just a watery gaze and a trembling lips at his confession. Dual hearts broke in succession.

You anguish derived from the pirate's self-hatred. Did he truly believe he was only worthy of such brutality? You detested those who had come before you, cursing every reprobate whom had dared enforce the darkness, that stoked Izzy's requirement for punishment. To add insult to injury, he longed for such cruelty to be delivered by your own hands. As if you could ever dare lay a finger upon his persons, that was anything other than a gentle caress or a squeeze of a hand. You may have been a pirate but never would anyone envisage such savagery from you. Your stomach turned at the mere thought of harming your beloved. "But you told me off for giving you a hug."

The sight of you so sad, made the ache in Izzy's chest double to the point of agony. Surely sorrow of such a magnitude would break through his ribcage and spill onto his obsidian black shirt? Whatever darkness had dwelled within him dissipated like mist upon the rolling ocean. Shoulders slumped forwards, as the First Mate reached forward, using the cloth you had handed him to wipe your own face. He could have wept when you leaned into his touch. Even after begging you to treat him like the dog he was, you still responded with a level of compassion, that completely flummoxed the pirate. "Why're you so bloody kind?" he whispered, truly wanting you to answer him.

Then, in that same sweet voice, you responded with a heartfelt truth. Five mere words that Izzy wished to have tattooed upon his body, across his heart. "You inspire it in me."

And with that, the First Mate vacated his chair and gathered you in his arms, mindful of your injured arm. Cradling you to his chest, he kept you close, savouring your warmth and softness- such a contrast to him own gruff and jaded exterior. "You stupid, wonderful, infuriating..." the sweet nothings continued, as he pressed a rough, chaste kiss to your forehead. The first of many, you hoped.

=============================

A/N: I hope you liked this chapter. Genuine curiosity, what would you like to happen next?

[bluebayousblog]

RUMOR HAS IT (pt. 3)

(Drew Starkey one-shot)

This is not a full on story but if you want more l'll be happy to add on upon request

Plot: in which drew and isobel address a false rumor in the most abstract of ways

Setting: isobel attends drew’s party before they leave for winter break

Disclaimer: Isobel is an OC, 18+

TABLE OF CONTENTS:

PART ONE

PART TWO

PART THREE

PART FOUR

The stress from Isobel’s finals had finally passed and there was only two days before she would be heading home for the holidays. Two days before she would be cooped up in a car with the boy that had her as confused as ever.

But as of now all of her friends wanted to go to the end of year party that Drew’s fraternity was throwing before everyone scattered across the country. He would most certainly be there in all of his glory, in his element of sorority girls and ‘frat bros.’

And Isobel was not sure where she should stood in that mix now that they crossed boundaries, not once but twice.

She’d told Drew she would be busy the last two days of exams when she left his car that night before practically waddling back to her table in the library, so the two hadn’t seen each other since. The little study break wasn’t too detrimental to her finals, as she aced each one, but not without her mind drifting off to what Drew had done to her in between preparing for them.

Their lack of self control had left Isobel uncertain about the friendship aspect of their relationship, but one thing was for sure—she did not want to go to this party.

When her friends weren’t constantly begging her to start getting ready, Drew was sweet talking her into coming through text.

I really want to see you, Iz.

He would see her in just a day to road-trip home for the holidays, she thought but did not respond and let him continue to beg.

I’ve never sounded more pathetic but you do that to me, Izzy.

Come, pretty please?

And that was all it took. Drew showing that his want for Isobel was different than it was with other girls. She knew it was the bare minimum, that she could be the object of his immediate interest for the moment before his attention went else where, but she couldn’t seem to say no to him.

Thinking back she doesn’t think that’s ever been an easy thing for her, there was always an inclination deep down to satisfy him in the smallest of ways. She wanted to do it. Go to his parties. Walk with him to class. Help him study for his finals. Let his rough hands graze her waiting body.

So as she read over those messages he sent less than a minute apart like he didn’t care if she responded and just needed to get the thoughts off of his chest she couldn’t help but agree to drop in for just a little.

Isobel was just about finished with her makeup when the frantic knocking of her friends began to sound throughout her apartment. She huffed at having to stop to let them in, she just wanted to get ready for this godforsaken party without getting badgered.

As soon as she swung the door open they ran their eyes over her done up appearance and the rambling began.

“You’re coming-“

“You’re dressed-“

“Isobel, start doing your makeup now-“

“-oh, you’re already ready.” Charlotte assessed as they finished talking over each other.

Grace and Dev just smiled excitedly as they all walked back to her room. Swiftly passing the couch that Drew had managed to peel back a layer of her innocence on a little more than a week ago.

Isobel had on black cargo pants with a simple tiny black top, it was basic but it was good enough, she’d never been one to dress for others no matter how down bad she was for Drew at the moment. Her hair was down, framing her face while her ends were slightly curled, adorning her shoulders and cleavage.

“What made you change your mind?” Dev squinted at her through the vanity mirror where Isobel met her eyes while applying mascara, “You practically cussed me out for asking a few hours ago.”

That was very true, but only because their incessant begging had begun to piss her off.

But not his she silently realized.

Isobel decided this was not the night she was going to spill the beans about Drew to her friends. She would not be able to bare all the questions that would come barreling out of their mouths, especially when she didn’t have any answers that would satisfy the trio.

Or that would even satisfy her own constant anxiety enducing thoughts.

“I just figured it would be nice to all be together before we leave for two weeks.” Isobel smiled. Not a lie but also far from the truth.

“How are you such an angel all the time?” Grace appreciated her friend in awe, flattery written all over her sweet face. She would be the most offended when she figured out what Isobel was keeping from them.

Her friends couldn’t help but jump around in excitement at her sudden interest in the party, making her feel a tad bad about her little white lie—and like clockwork things were beginning to get complicated.

They left for campus as soon as Isobel finished the last touches of her makeup, the four falling out of the Uber from the shots they were taking in the backseat. Though Isobel only had one, nerves too embedded in her belly to put anything on her stomach without feeling like it would come back up.

“Drew-“ Grace paused before she could finish at the audible gasp of surprise that had accidentally slipped from Isobel’s mouth, “-will be at the door for us like last time right?” She finished the words tumbling out as she watched her carefully.

Her friends were always talking about Drew, they all collectively found him attractive and therefore were constantly encouraging Isobel to jump into his bedsheets to which she obviously refused for years.

But hearing them as simple as utter his name had chills going down her spine, like the word would make her reveal all the things they’d done behind closed doors.

“Yes, I texted him in the car, sorry the alcohol has me all jumpy.” She answered, desperately wanting the attention off of her.

She hated that when she was alone in her thoughts, thinking of how she would have to keep this from her friends and family, that what they did had felt wrong in a sense.

Isobel hated the uncertainty, it only allowed malignant thoughts to eat away at the possibility of just enjoying a good thing in the moment.

“You had one shot, Isobel, you never cease to amaze me.” Charlotte said with amusement laced in her voice.

The girl couldn’t help but blush as they walked up to the doors of the party. The alcohol had been a good excuse, but that was also because Isobel was known to be the lightweight in her friend group which was why she would be babysitting exactly one drink tonight. Getting inebriated while in same building as Drew would be a dangerous move to make, she could barely keep her hands to herself while sober.

She thought it over in her head, one drink in addition to the shot from the Uber would have her at an acceptable buzz. Then the door swung open revealing Drew with that tilted smile on his face as his eyes ran over them, unnoticeably lingering on Isobel for a second longer.

And then and there she decided to up the ante to two drinks as any alcohol that was present in her veins vanished at the sight of him, at those hands that had been on and in unspeakable places of her body in his truck that was parked in front of the house. Another reminder of what had transpired between the two, the solidification of things never being the same.

“Hi, Drew” her friends said in unison as they walked in while Isobel stayed mute following behind them.

“My girls.” They all gave him a group hug like they always did when they came to his parties.

They were giggling like school girls.

Isobel, in the past, had given them the green light to pursue him if they wanted but all three always refused, claiming Drew and Isobel were too interconnected for them to make a move on him. Now Isobel couldn’t even bare the thought of him ever being interested in her friends, not after the way he’d touched her, spoken to her, and invaded her thoughts.

He wrapped his toned arms around their bodies giving them his full attention aside from his eyes.

Those were solely on Isobel as he visibly drunk her in with those stormy blue irises.

Anyone watching him would think Drew’s eyes had only swept over her figure but as she stood there his piercing gaze made her feel as she’d been stripped bare.

“I see you guys were able to drag your friend here after all.” He smirked as they separated never once looking away from Isobel.

As if she couldn’t contain her excitement at her mere presence Dev ran back over to Isobel and squeezed her into a hug. Drew noticed even her friends were looking over at her in adornment, stealing all of their attention with just her aura, she hadn’t uttered a word since she stepped inside the house. “You guys throw the best parties, we couldn’t let her miss this one right, Isobel?”

Drew didn’t have to look over to her as Dev stopped talking, he was already watching her. He’d seen her in makeup hundreds maybe thousands of times before but not once since Drew had began to really notice her. And if Isobel was a force the day he checked her out on her couch bare faced, he didn’t know the word that would fully encompass how gorgeous she looked standing there in front of him now.

“Of course.” Isobel gently smiled, body visibly relaxing like she’d just internally accepted that this party was just not worth missing.

Drew could only hope he was part of that sudden revelation.

“You ladies go get some booze, everything’s set up in the kitchen.” Isobel watched as his words were seemingly directed at her friends, the courtesy obviously stopping there, “Let me talk to Isobel about our traveling plans.”

Charlotte, Dev, and Grace did not have to be told twice as they bid the two a goodbye and mingled their way through a sea of people towards the kitchen. She probably wouldn’t see those social butterflies for a while leaving her with Drew who now had no shame on his handsome face as he once again took her in.

“Hey, Iz.” He said while admiring the way her body made the most basic choice of clothing look like they’d been plucked right off some street style runway.

The pants she wore sat perfectly on her hips, leaving out the most delicious amount of her smooth belly that eventually led up to the tight top that was accentuating her breast so well he thought he might take his last breathe. “Don’t start that shit, Drew.”

“Don’t start what?” That knowing smirk slithering on to his lips making her blood want to boil at the sight.

He stepped closer, Isobel leaning against the wall with her back pushed tightly against it because if she allowed herself to fully relax she wouldn’t be able to stop herself from pushing against his hard one.

“I don’t know.” She answered honestly. But she did know him purring that nickname in her ear could only lead to dangerous territory, and she did not want shit going down in front everyone to see.

The vanilla perfume she lathered on was drawing Drew closer to her, enough to sense it but not enough to peak anyone’s interest who may be watching. Isobel watched him as he inhaled deeply, his blue eyes deepening a little as they fluttered open to look at her again. “Don’t be mean to me tonight, Izzy, I missed you.”

At parties in the past Isobel was at times a bitch to Drew with reason, sometimes he would just act like an annoying gnat that wouldn’t go away always teasing her and playing stupid fucking games. Someone had to put him in his place.

That’s the type of friends they were before, they were always in constant banter. Isobel either cursing or ignoring him, while Drew watched over and fucked with her. A part of Isobel hated that they would most likely ruin that part of their friendship.

Now, when she was cold towards him, being dry with him she knew deep down it would be to protect herself—not just light-hearted conversation with a friend.

Isobel and Drew had flipped their world as they knew it three times over.

In a dimension that consisted of only them where he could not seem to get enough and she couldn’t find it in her to want to starve themselves of the thrill of going there with a boy let alone one she’d known for a decade. “I can’t promise anything.”

His eyes only glimmered at her response, and Isobel could only wonder what he saw when he looked at her. That gaze made her feel warm inside like she was actually being seen, like he really knew her.

For Drew looking at her was like looking in an orb of light that casted everything he wanted into his vision. And it felt like if he looked away he would miss a glimpse of his future. Isobel had always been a person in his past and present, but to think about her as an addition in his future made fear bubble in his gut. He wouldn’t look away though, it was like trying to tear his eyes away from two cars recklessly racing towards a finish line.

“Well, can I have a hug?” He mumbled, he was lost in her, simply only aware of her presence. Isobel’s fingers were itching at her sides at the feeling of him somewhat near her, the familiarity pulling her in, “The last time I saw you, you jumped out of my car without a word.”

Isobel was thankful she had the excuse to go back in the library and study that day. When they were jumping each other’s bones it didn’t feel wrong, the possibility of ruining whatever grounds of friendship they had not mattering at all.

Then the thrill of it all faded, and school serving as distraction from reality slowly setting in only lasted so long.

It all came when Isobel was alone—the questions, the doubt, the uncertainty. Something within her nagged her to trust Drew and just go with it, but there was also her sensible side that told her to pump her breaks. “What if someone sees?”

Drew just shrugged his shoulders, “We’ve hugged at my parties, Izzy, and it wasn’t a problem when I hugged your friends.”

Isobel knew she was being ridiculous, but she couldn’t help it. Now that they were actually kissing, exploring each other, and had come pretty close to fucking the paranoia had only doubled for her. It almost felt like she’d fallen into someone else’s narrative, that was written for them before they could even think of it for themselves.

She didn’t want such a momentous thing to just be gossip on a college campus. And if she felt his firm chest against hers in an embrace she’d be sucked into whatever daze Drew was in.

“I have a feeling the way you wanna hug me will look a bit more than friendly, Drew“ Isobel peered up at him as he towered over her. His eyes glinting at the true meaning behind her words.

As much as she was against everyone thinking they were fucking, Isobel thinks she’s the problem when it comes to them ending up in compromising positions. All he had do was utter the word jump and she would pounce like a kitten.

“Sounds like you’re projecting on to me what you want me to really do to you.” He chuckled while his eyes remained clear, the most innocent he’d ever look while the two were in such close proximity, “Keep those perverse thoughts to yourself, I just want feel you in my arms, Izzy Bear.”

“Fine.” She dramatically relented. In the midst of rolling her eyes she felt his long arms snake their way around her waist as he stared down at her with an amused smile.

She could only think to scrunch her nose up at him before leaning into him. The feeling was too much, so different than before and as she breathed him in the more she melted into him. Isobel was sure hugging someone you’d been intimate with was similar to what it felt like to make love on drugs for the first time.

She felt good in his arms, Drew watched his hands as they glided over her back. This wasn’t one of those hugs people at school had seen them share—they both knew it.

He wasn’t sure if he’d been holding her for too suspicious of a time or if time had only slowed from the feeling of her in his embrace. People came to parties with the intent of accomplishing something whether it’s getting drunk, meeting someone new, or the simple feeling of being seen.

Drew truly felt like he found his peak of the night, Isobel encased in his arms relaxed and inviting. If she pulled away and walked out that door without a goodbye he would remain content. That’s how things had been feeling with her lately, her giving him more of herself little by little and leaving the deepest impression that it lasted for days on his mind.

For a split second the two forgot they were standing in a room full of people. As Drew let her go he could visibly see the tenseness build back up in her spine as she looked around at everyone doing there own thing. She wasn’t being her usual self, the gears turning in her head clear for him to see in her chocolate brown eyes.

“You want to go to my room?” Drew suggested hoping she wouldn’t get the wrong idea, the boy only wanted to get her away from the crowd to see if it helped her anxiousness.

Isobel was relieved to hear those words as she seemed to come back into her own body, she’d come here for her friends and for him but her mind was not in a place to be around so many people. She wasn’t even sure how she would get through the weekend with both of their families at one dinner table.

She just wanted to keep their affair between them even if it was wrong or foreign, no matter where it led them in the end. Cradle it from the judgement of others and being tainted by letting outside opinions in.

But she knew the more she tried to shelter it—shelter them—she would end up doing the harming in the end.

“No, you should enjoy your party, Drew, we haven’t even gotten a drink yet.” Isobel declined his offer wanting to at least try to enjoy the night and suck it up. She knew Drew was not going through these internal trepidations about their relationship, he just wasn’t the type to be bothered by outside noise.

“I don’t give fuck about what’s going on down here, just get your ass upstairs.” He could not bare watching her squirm uncomfortably at a party he begged her to come to. And if the reason he was going to miss out was Isobel he didn’t see a problem with that in the slightest.

Isobel felt her blood start to rush at his words, she was sure her hormones had been corrupted from the moment he laid a finger on her. The demanding tone in his voice caressed every sensitive nerve in her body and now had her body on a never ending buzz.

She could only nod at him in response before they turned towards the steps in a swift movement. Air caught in her throat when she felt the feather touch of his fingers on the skin of her back, guiding her to the stairs. She made it up the majority of the steps without thinking of any watchful eyes that may be noting his hand placement up until they got towards the top. Drew then wrapped his arms around her waist from behind pulling her back into his body.

And she couldn’t help but wonder if anyone had caught a glimpse of the interaction before they disappeared to the second floor. Her neck yearned to turn around and look but she resisted.

“You look stunning tonight, Izzy.” Drew murmured into her ear, feeling her tense shoulder relax against him.

He placed two fingers under her chin as he tilted her chin up to meet her gaze before stepping around and taking in that smile that was sitting on her soft lips. “Thank you.”

Drew grinned back then grabbed one of her hands behind him and lead her down the hallway to his room. He was internally patting himself on the back for cleaning his room a few days prior, not wanting her to be uncomfortable in a dirty room.

As he clicked the door closed and looked over to her he immediately concluded that he loved the sight of her in his personal space. His neutral navy-beige room was simple but it was a home away from home and Isobel complemented it well.

This wasn’t the first time the two had been up here together, they’d been in and out when he needed to grab something for her but he never appreciated how her presence made him feel enclosed in such an intimate setting—like she was the missing touch.

Yet another place she would ruin for him, and if she sat on his bed she would only mark her territory with the musk of her vanilla perfume she would no doubt leave behind.

It almost unsettled him at how long it took him in life to actually appreciate her, and now that he was it kept coming wave after wave. Every glance was realization of just how beautiful and remarkable she was, an endless revelation. It mimicked the feeling of finding a missing thing that had been in the most obvious spot all along, relieving but not any less annoying for all the time wasted during the search.

Drew stayed silent while Isobel swayed her hips as she walked to the window and watched the party that was overflowing to the backyard. He just watched her in silence, he couldn’t tell if the atmosphere was different between them or if his subconscious was keeping him quiet so he wouldn’t ruin whatever was going on.

When his thoughts weren’t filled with admiration for Isobel they were second guessing himself. It was all so fresh and fragile, and he didn’t want to come on too strong and break such a beautiful thing, such a beautiful person.

The last two times the two had been together it ended with them both out of breathe for each other, and he knew it was sending a particular message to her. It didn’t take a genius to figure out that Isobel was a relationship kind of girl, Drew just didn’t know if he was that kind of guy. What he did know, though, was that he wanted to be with and attached to her no matter the circumstance as much as possible.

He wasn’t ready to jump into a relationship, but he also didn’t want to disrespect a woman he’d known for longer than any girl he fucked in the past. So he could go a day or days with out being intimate with her, no matter how hard she was to resist.

When Isobel turned from the window and walked towards him a ball of air formed in his throat just at sight of her for what felt like the hundredth time tonight, he wasn’t sure he would ever get used to her beauty not when he’d been practically blind to it for so long.

“Your room has never been this clean you must’ve been expecting someone special tonight.” She taunted him with her sultry yet sweet voice, he noticed her voice always had some sort of edge to it and it was nothing but intoxicating to hear—especially when it was his name on her lips.

Isobel was relieved when he smiled, amusement swirling in his eyes along with something foreign he couldn’t decipher, but it made his blue eyes appear darker. As much as what she’d just said was a joke, the circumstances they were under made it mean so much more. It was fun to kid and joke but part of her, no matter how deep it may be, could either be relieved or disappointed with his response. “No, but begging for her to be here tonight was worth the bruise to my ego.”

He made her feel special whether it was intentional or not. It was the little things that drew her in, that diluted the doubt that was always coursing through her.

Whatever intensity was swirling in his eyes had her slowly moving closer to him, she could feel it as he watched over her every movement. She could barely remember her last thought, only Drew and his words on her mind before she found herself standing between his long, muscular legs.

In that position between his spread thighs, so close his woody scent invading her nostrils with his eyes staring straight back into her own she felt fully encapsulated. “I’m worth it, yeah?”

She pondered her own words thinking of the small sacrifices he’d made for her—that they’d made for little moments like this.

Drew could only groan in agreement as his rough hands gently gripped her soft hips to pull her closer. She bit her lip, stifling a moan when he pressed his face into her belly and inhaled while running his fingers down her thighs until they met the back of her knees.

He hadn’t had drop of alcohol tonight, and yet the man was drunk. So intensely consumed with all that was Isobel all inhibitions and good judgment was shoved to the back of his mind. He didn’t stop her when she bent one knee under his touch, placing it beside his thigh as the other leg quickly followed and wordlessly slid herself onto his lap.

He didn’t think about where it could possibly lead in the wake of his hands running up her spine making her arch into his chest. Not a single thought was present in his head anymore, distracted by the feeling of her lips trailing his neck. She was seduction in the flesh as she kissed down the center of his throat before dragging her wet tongue back up to his jaw. “Izzy, God, damn.”

“I don’t know what it is about you, Drew.” she sighed, kissing his jaw at the feeling of his body vibrating beneath her. She caressed his skin with gentleness like it would calm him, but it only served to slowly unravel him.

Then her lips pressed into his waiting ones and they were lost. In the feeling, the moment, the rush, hell they’d forgotten where they were. Isobel didn’t have it in her to worry, not when they were sharing such an intimate kiss that it felt as if she was tasting water for the first time in days after suffering from thirst. The fact that her friends were roaming around on the floor just beneath her couldn’t penetrate the high she was on.

They kissed sloppily, smacking and massaging each others mouth’s until even the contents of their kissing was hard to contain. Isobel always thought she had to be skilled and technical when it came to kissing, but none of that mattered when the want for the person burned so intensely that the main goal was solely just to taste and taste until your mouth went numb.

Drew felt starved as he all but devoured her with his lips and tongue, the man was desperate to feel every inch of her under his touch. He wrapped an arm around her back pulling her closer groaning as he squeezed her tight, like he was holding onto his sanity, grasping at the last bit of it. Drew didn’t dare lay back, if he did and he saw the sight of her towering over him they wouldn’t see their friends for the rest of the night.

He had to tread lightly and it was taking everything in him not to grasp her backside in his greedy hands, tortuously denying himself of one his favorite parts of her.

Isobel shifted in his lap trying to get more comfortable only causing his body to stiffen at the contact before he grabbed her hips and pushed her back where she was, “Fuck, don’t do that to me, Izzy.”

Their lips were still attached as he spoke, and Isobel smirked knowing he could make out her smile against his mouth. “Why?”

Drew never thought he would be in this position, a girl on top of him teasing him beyond lengths while he was having an internal battle with himself on whether they should stop before things went too far.

“You know why, don’t make me show you.” He threatened as he pressed his lips to her ear. A wave of heat coursed through her entire body at his words, and her lower body was way too close to the reasoning, “Plus your friends are downstairs, unless you don’t care if they hear what I’m gonna do to you if you keep fucking with me, Isobel.”

Drew now had that look in his eyes, the look that told her that his mind was entering the gutter, and she wasn’t sure she was strong enough to get it out—but she remained on his thighs not daring to move an inch. His words were harsh but it did nothing to deter her, not even the mentioning of the girls.

“I love it when you talk to me like that.” Isobel innocently purred, not reacting when he squeezed her thighs tighter. She watched as his eyes tinted to the darkest blue-black that could only be stemmed from deepest depths of the oceans before leaning towards him and running the tip of her tongue along the center of his lips.

Not even a second had passed before Drew gripped her hips and tossed her ass on the bed before he stood up and put some well needed distance between the two. Isobel could only smile as he began running his hands through his hair, frustration obvious in his movement.

Their breathing was the only notable sound in the room, Isobel just lying back on her elbows while he watched her with dark eyes. If anything his gaze made her feel just as breathless even with their bodies apart.

He swore those glimmering dark brown eyes were silently chanting to him, like a siren beckoning him in a soundless melody.

A gasp left her lips from the sound of her phone buzzing on the desk next to Drew. Like a chime of a bell she’d been knocked out of whatever hormone induced trance they’d fell into. Scrambling off the bed to get to her phone to see her friends were looking for her. The current time told her they’d been up in his room fucking around for half an hour.

Drew and the girl everyone thought he was fucking missing from his own party for over thirty minutes. That was not going to send the right message at all, especially for anyone who saw them leave together. Worry and guilt for abandoning her friends when she’d told them she came for them began to wash over her. Drew could see it all over her face, in her eyes that were staring off at the ground from zoning out in thought.

It didn’t take a genius to figure out what she was thinking, especially with the way she was acting downstairs, “Do you wanna talk, Iz?”

That’s exactly what she wanted to do, the second time tonight he’d studied her and figured out what she needed, but she didn’t want to do that if it was only going to push him away. If her thoughts and worries were going to confuse and scare him off. “No, I just want to find the girls, I should have just stayed home.”

A pang of hurt hit Drew as she said that, after years of knowing her and her family he knew she was a stubborn girl who chose to suppress her feelings. Still the way she chose to shut people out and cope with it by herself didn’t hurt any less. He cared for Isobel before all of this, but now it was amplified. It mattered to him how she felt when she left him and went to that apartment to be alone in her thoughts.

“Then why did you come, Isobel?” He needed her to speak her mind.

She sort of flinched at his words, not because they were harsh, but because it was a real question that required a real answer, and as much as she wanted to run away from it, from him she didn’t have it in her. Drew grabbed her arm pulling her closer looking down at her with patient eyes.

“I came because you asked me to.” She whispered with a sigh as she pressed her forehead against his chest feeling his heart beat pass through her, “I guess it wouldn’t hurt to talk.”

For the first time Drew felt a surge of uncertainty hit him all at once not because of Isobel, he was sure about her. He just wasn’t sure he would have the answers for her that would alleviate whatever stress was filling her.

And he wanted more than anything to be the person to take that heavy feeling away.

TABLE OF CONTENTS

PART ONE

PART TWO

PART THREE

PART FOUR

[vandermorganable]

Night Shift

Description: It’s been 10 years since Axl has seen Slash. The day his stepfather picked him up from Slash’s house was the last time he saw him. Now, they meet again.

Relationship: Axl Rose x Slash, Axl Rose x Izzy Stradlin

Prompt: “Please look at me” (Day 14)

Part 7 of “You’re My Red Rose”

Content Warning: Implied Mpreg

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

1991

Axl walked through the halls of Tower Records, making his nightly checks as night manager. He was on the second floor where the studios were located to see if none of the equipment had been stolen. When he was walking to the last room a tidal wave of laughs were coming up the staircase. A group of five men were walking together with beers in his hand. Axl was going to tell them that they couldn’t have any food and drinks in the building when the site of the third man stopped him in his tracks.

It was…Slash.

They hadn’t seen each other since that night John threatened his father with his shotgun. Several emotions flowed through his body. Confusion, sadness, and anger were to name a few. He couldn’t move to hide. Slash spotted him as well. They stood there, staring at each other for several awkward seconds.

“Hey, guys, go ahead into the studio. I’ll be back in a minute.” Slash directed.

The dude, who had even curlier hair than Slash, briefly looked at Axl and smiled at him. He gave a small laugh and the group disappeared into the room. Slash started to walk towards him. Tears started to form in his eyes for the first time in years. To hide it, he looked down at his feet. His vision began to blur. He covered his face as the tears couldn’t be controlled any longer.

“Please look at me, Axl.” His sweet voice begged.

Axl struggled to. Every time he attempted to lift his head, it would just go right back down as more tears brewed. He was married and had a kid. This was wrong. He shouldn’t be having feelings for another, especially for someone who left him hanging for years. The last time they saw each other was against his will. Slash avoided him. Axl would try to approach him and he would go the other way. He went years wondering what his problem was. Slash gave him no closure. He had no choice but to let him go.

“I’m married.” Axl declared. “I have a daughter as well.”

His face dropped in shock. “Th-That’s great, Axl. I’m currently in a band called Tidus Sloan.”

“That’s cool.” He looked at the clock on the wall. 11:25 pm. “My shifts almost over. I should be heading out.”

“Ok. See you later?”

Axl nodded silently and headed downstairs. He got into his car, then began punching his steering wheel. Axl left Lafayette to not be reminded of the torture that town had put him through. He wasn’t prepared for one of the memories to bump into him at his job. And for the feelings to still be there after all these years.

His husband, Jeffrey, was sitting on the couch watching tv, waiting for him to come home like he always does. After taking off his shoes and setting them by the door, Axl bent down and kissed him.

“You had any trouble with Isla today?” Axl asked his routine question.

“No, she’s been an angel for once. She even went to sleep on time.” Jeffrey reported.

Isla was two years old and already showing signs that she had Axl’s temperament, which was a fear he had when he was pregnant. The pediatrician said her attitude was pretty normal for children her age, but he was still fearful of the possibility that she would never grow out of this. Axl worked from 3:30 to 11:30 at night for five days a week, which meant Jeffrey was home with her most of the day.

“So how was work?” He asked, hugging Axl from behind.

He grabbed hold of one of his giant hands. “It was fine until I ran into one of my exes”

“Who?” Axl could hear the anger in his voice.

Axl didn’t keep anything from Jeffrey. It was in the vows to not hold secrets and, so far, both of them have been honest with each other. He wanted this marriage to work.

“It was Saul. My very first boyfriend in matter of fact. His band is recording at the studio.”

“Did he say anything?” Jeffrey wondered.

Axl shook his head. “Not much. I told him I was married and he walked off.”

Jeffrey happily kissed his cheek. “This is why I love you.”

If only he knew what he really felt about him.

[seriesxwriting]

He makes me smile

Pairing- rafe Cameron x fem!reader

Series- outer banks

Summary- you and Rafe are broken up but one happy birthday text could change all that.

Warnings- kissing, I’m guessing swearing, drinking? Mention of drugs.

“Y/n!!” “Hey girl get into the party” I giggled opening the door wide to let my friend in. “Happy birthday girl ugh I haven’t seen you in ages” she wrapped her arms around me tight squeezing me. “I’m so glad you could make it Jade” I rubbed her back grime closing the door. “Your not even drunk yet are you? Come on it’s almost one it’s not even your birthday anymore and your not drunk?!” She exclaimed dragging me by my wrist towards the garden.

I stepped out to join all my friends as they were drunkenly dancing. It made me giggle and feel a bit warmer inside. I didn’t really feel like drinking I wasn’t in the mood. Evey where I step in my house I remember how Rafe was here for my party a year ago. And now he wasn’t. But drinking would be the best way to forget about that. “What he having? Oh you have rum!” Jade squealed reaching over for it.

“I’ll have the rum” I laughed under my breath. “Y/n! This is our song come and dance!” Nelly yelled from the dance floor. “I’ll be over in a moment hun” I yelled waiting patiently for my drink. In that moment my phone dinged. My eyes dried and my lips parted as a shock wave came over me.

“Who’s that- you look like you’ve just seen a ghost” Jane stopped what she was doing. “It’s um- it’s Rafe” I stuttered staring at my phone in disbelief. “Did I just hear the name Rafe?” Evie stopped as she was walking past with Izzy. “He- said happy birthday” I swallowed still not knowing what to do or even say. In fact my whole body was stand still and couldn’t be moved.

“No- no no no no no no” Izzy shook her head “he’s just being a dick and trying to lead you on” she explained giving it straight to me. “What do I say” I looked at them blankly. “Just put T-Y” Jane shook her head holding two drinks in her hand. “I’m just going to say thank you” I bit my lip while typing the message. “You really should wait till the morning, leave him waiting a bit” Evie told me shrugging her shoulders. “Too late”.

“What did you say?” She replied sipping her own drink. “I said thank you rafe” “no! Why’d you say his name now you made it personal” Jane gritted her teeth together before shaking her head and holding my drink out. “It is person- it always will be with him” “it doesn’t matter actually, put your phone away and get pissed with me, I half and halfed your drink”. I was about to turn my phone off before Rafe sent another message and my phone dinged. “What’d he say?” Izzy asked reserved, squinted one eye.

“He asked to meet and talk at our spot” “he knows your at a party you put it on your story” Jane reminded me with a lifted up eyebrow showing that she clearly wanted me to say no or just ignore him. But I didn’t. “I just need to see this through, it’s been a long time” “you mean you just need to see him” Evie folded her arms. “I haven’t seen him in a long time” I bit my lip. “Y/n please don’t ruin your birthday with that Twat” Izzy begged me fluttering her eyebrows.

“I’ve already said yes, I won’t be long our spot is like a five minute walk from my house” I smiled confidently, happily. “Your making a mistake girl you can do so much better” Betty told me appearing from nowhere to re fill her drink. “Exactly!” “But what if I’m not, I just need to talk to him clear things up but I’m not going to let him push me around” I explained starting to walk backwards. “Do not walk out of that door y/n y/l/n” Jane put her finger out at me.

The warning meant nothing, I turned around and bolted out of my garden and through the house to my door. I could hear people chasing me but I didn’t have time to check who. “I need to see this through, I’m sorry, love you I’ll be back soon byeee!” I shouted as I slammed the door behind me and in the girl’s faces . I took a deep breath looking at the dark night sky before setting off. It was only a little walk, down to the field next to my house. When I got to the road I saw rafes dirtbike out the front.

Turning down the slip road I walked with my heart punching my chest. The nerves were piling up. Then I saw him. He was sprawled out across our bench on his phone, his helmet under his arm. He looked hot. I brought my hand up to my mouth and made a coughing sound to let him know I was there. “Y/n” he jumped up scanning me with his eyes. “It’s like two degrees why aren’t you wearing a coat?” “I don’t plan on staying long Rafe, I have a party to get back to”.

“I know- it’s shit timing from me, but I’ve been building up to this for a while” he blinked looking across from me. “You don’t have to be scared of me y/n you can sit down” he backed away sitting down on the other end of the bench. “I’m not scared of you Rafe” I sighed making my way over to him. “I’m scared about why you asked me to come” “why do you think” he sighed sitting back but keeping his eyes on me. “You don’t want to know my answer, it doesn’t put you in a very good light”.

He sighed sounding stressed. “because I made a fucking mistake” “I know you did” I shrugged honestly feeling my body start to shiver. Rafe noticed too, that’s when he began removing his coat and jumper to give to me. “I don’t need them” “stop being like dat, before you catch a cold” he rolled his eyes thrusting them towards me. I bit my lip taking the jumper off him and throwing it on my back. “That’s all I’m taking” “still stubborn” he smirked, i couldn’t help but smile.

He just had some effect over me, when he smiled it made me smile. He makes me smile. “Seriously y/n- I miss you and I’m genuinely ready to put that shit that pushed you away- away- in fact I’m ready to burn it” “your ready to stop going out and doing coke with your friends?” “Yes” rafe nodded looking serious dead straight into my eyes. “Your ready to stop doing weed?” “Yes” “what about starting fights? Misbehaving, leaving me on delivered?” I folded my arms sitting back on the bench.

“Lying to me, ditching me, coming home late…” “y/n I’m not going to sit here and lie to you, I’m not going to say it’s going to stop all at once all together but i promise that I will try my best to be the person you want me to be and with time all that shit will be behind us” Rafe explained cutting me off, he slid over to me putting a hand on my thigh for comfort.

“Rafe- I want to believe that’s true, you don’t know how much I want to, but I can’t go through this again I can’t be happy and then have you tear it away from me again rafe” I shook my head feeling the tears prick in my eyes. “My life since you, has only gone down hill and I’ve realised that you are my person I don’t- I don’t know how to prove that your the only person I want for the rest of my life” he sighed putting his forehead on top of mine.

“After everything that happened- do you really expect me to trust you” I asked him softly feeling one of them tears fall down my face. “No- but I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I didn’t try and get you back” he whispered wiping my tear off my face with his thumb carefully dragging it across my soft skin.

“I want things to go back to how they were Rafe, but is there too much history?” I swallowed nervous to know what he thought. “The history is what’s going to make us stronger y/n”. I looked up at him sadly not knowing if that’s what I believed. “You don’t- have to decide now, take as long as you need god knows I took my time realising that I wanted you” “but that’s not fair Rafe” I shook my head.

“That’s me leading you on- i didn’t like when you did that to me and I’m not about to do it to you” “so- what do you want to do?” He asked slowly. I swallowed sitting forwards looking Rafe in the eyes. “I want a trial, I don’t want labels on anything but I want to give it a month and if you’ve earned back my trust you can make me your girlfriend after that- if you haven’t, we are done- done done” I folded my arms seriously.

“So- your giving me a chance” “mmh” I hummed as a smiled unfolded on my face. “You won’t regret it” he told me taking my hand and laying a kiss on it. “Come on Rafe I hated your lying not your kisses” I rolled my eyes and held my hand behind his head pushing him towards my face. I felt a laugh vibrate from his lips as they met with mine. I usually knew him to be more rough but he was ever so gentle with me. When we pulled away he leant his forehead on mine.

“So what’s your plan for the rest of the night” I whispered brushing my fingers through his brunette hair. “No plans” he chuckled shrugging his shoulders. “Wanna come back to my motive, you can stay?” “You- sure?” He chewed his lip pulling away slightly. “You will get some dirty looks obviously, my friends all do hate you but I’m sure you’ll grow on them”. Rafe through his head back laughing “challenged accepted.”

“I know you don’t want labels, but your mine right?” “I’m yours rafe, for now” I giggled, he smirked shaking his head. “For the rest of our lives babe”.

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