#ive watched 2 movies this week
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More than anything else I need a fun distraction
#i cant believe im starting to miss him#like r u fr rn#you dumb bitch#i bet he doesnt even remember me LMAO#anywYs ive been trying#ive watched 2 movies this week#graveyard of fireflies and pulp fiction! it was fun!!#tried to read some old manga binge of okazaki and kiriko nanan but after a bit i got bored#i even tried fuckass roblox 馃挃 its just as shitty as i remember#idk nothing seems to hold my attention#so im starting to miss everything that has ever made me feel something#ive tried going thru my old stuff#idk#im so#faitgued?#lethargic?#if someone could die from the boredom of daily life id be dead by now#i dont even have anythinghthrrh#literally anything#i want to feel hurt again#thank fuck i deleted that account though ive actually never thought avout him forever now but that dream fucked with my head a bit#i woke up all sad and trying to see if i could text him lmfao#im so thankful for taking care of that for me in the future#if only i did that back then LOL#i wont ever miss him again which is nice#it just hurts now i feel petty thats it#bc he wont ever admit that he was an asshole but its whatever#maybe i didnt matter in the first pkace for it to even register that he was being an asshole 馃珷 why am i hurting my own feelings now....#he literally would get mad though if i didnt talk or whatver idk my memory sucks#but he did
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it's not my problem
#fight club#marla singer#17.12.23#ive watched this movie like 20 times in the past 2 weeks nobody look at me#sad that i had to deepfry this drawing in piss for it to look good. lost in the soup#when i tried to look up reference images i found out there is a bar 2 hours from me named after her#with tyler special events and jack hamburgers...#eye strain#belatedly tagging bc its hurting MY eyes lmfao
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i have got to stop smoking 馃槶 someone oughta curse my mom for encouraging (down right offering) all her kids to become addicts of various sorts. and out of everything ive stopped doing i still cant stop smoking thats whats pissing me off the most!!! sorry. happy new year. ill figure it out
#ask to tag#mmm im really really like... idek a good word for it im just messed up abt it all. but i really gotta do it and for real this time#im mildly allergic to nicotine patches otherwise that would be great. was the only thing that helped me quit for liiike.. 2 weeks#the only time ive quit in the last 4-5 years were times when i was in the hospital or rehab. and then id leave and there was my mother agai#but since i dont have a lot of those factors in my life that made me smoke before it SHOULD be easier this time. right#i just gotta be the one to do it. im better than this#oh my god does taht mean i cant watch tim roth movies anymore. but that is my little faggot <- walking cigarette. who takes it up the ass#ugh. anyway yeah wish me luck i guess -_- fuuuuck#the big thing that always hinders me is i ask myself what the hell will i be without it#hm. ill just have to find that out!
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guys sex, lies and videotape literally changed my life
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procrastination is starting to have its consequences finally
#on my friends living room floor they love together but one of them has been london for weeks or maybe months#to be with her love. im on a foam mattress from one of their beds next to a glass bottle of water opened by one of them#in a mug given to me by another. the weather felt like my childhood today and it also felt like 2 years ago.#(put space in the heavens Einstein's idea and hes your friend too so nothing to fear) around the table they drank and laughed and i thought#i hope you keep growing so full with the love you receive . i hope your appetite becomes insatiable from how used to it you are#and i know youre all leaving soon but i hope one day you miss this and that youll be happy you miss it#its worth missing i think#i thought he didnt care but he said after exams hes going walk around this area over and over#(this is near where he lived and where we visited almost daily for a year)#(hed come across the bridge on a lake)#we went where she used to live and at the entrance a fox sat calmly. it just yawned and stared.#it felt important somehow. i think maybe their impressions of me will never be close to how i feel inside but i think#i love them enough for that not to matter. i dont think theyll ever know this. i dont think if they did it would change much.#and seeing them smile makes my heart glow anyway. today i tried their malaysian tea the ginger burned my throat#they warmed my heart. hes going to canada soon and hes going to the US soon and shes going everywhere soon ill never understand#how were supposed to live with memories and with seperation and with the past but we do it anyway so i think it doesnt matter much#i wanted to write a poem for the lab rats with the fibre optic wires lit with blue forcing them to turn around and around#something about how im sorry that the two photon arrays burned the inside of your brain. im sorry about the sharp points of multielectrode#arrayes. im sorry about everything we do to you. she asked to see me tomorrow. im trying to have self control but i miss her so awfully#last night my friend talked to me and i updated on everything that happened with love and the lack of it and she just started laughing#and she told me about the same thing from her side. and she told me about how she loved london because she would walk the streets#and she felt like the people were her. and her eyes would go over the people and the bag of bagels and the construction men they probably#have a kid at home maybe shes a daughter. this kid is crying for her mother and the building you just walked past caused#blisters and pain and people died in it and very likely people were born in it. we talked for hours and i felt like#i was holding her hand just like that time she held mine watching a horror film. i love her so much#my friend is a genius and i remember her picking up the charms of my phone and staring at the leaf hanging from them. shes side stepping to#music drinking dangerous cider and cocktails from a movie and chit chatting with billionaires and undergrads#i love her dearly. his head covered in electrodes. she tells me about a syrian guy shes in love with and she says#what you feel and what i feel is like cocaine. ive tried a lot of fucking cocaine.#she says ive reminded her of what living actually feels like and to never put energy into someone who doesnt see me this way.
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i dont post art on here ever so have this, as a treat
#the robocop fanart mentioned in a previous reblog#youre lucky you dont follow me on instagram ive been unwell about this movie for weeks on there#already got 2 mutuals to watch it >:]c#len art#i always forget what my art tag is oops
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(//i don't normally do text but cw in the tags erm. i went a little off track)
#inanimate insanity#ii#ii lightbulb#daily lightbulb#scribbly bulb#god. ohh my god. im not doing so hot yall#once again i apologize for suddenly halting on posting; ive had a couple rough days recently and it's constantly crashed my motivation to#even QUEUE SCREENSHOTS. my mental health has been so messed up too and i just had to take a step back#for starters. happy birthday to my baby sister that was born yesterday. like legit. im a big sister now#it's hard getting used to it; i was never good with change#secondly; like in the 100 post i've gained a new fixation thats unfortunately pushed ii to the side#i have adhd and autism so its hard for me to keep up with such a daily routine that includes a media i may end up losing interest in#i LOVE lightbulb and i LOVE ii i just.....need a bit#thirdly; i actually havent seen inside out 2 yet. might end up watching it this week or next week though which will be fun#while waiting in the hospital inside out was playing on the room tv so i wanted to draw smth to get my thoughts out#inside out is one of my favorite. modern? disney movies. rlly means a lot to me.#sorry for ranting i shouldnt dump all my life problems on yall LMAO you just wanna see lb pics#anyways posting will try and resume! cant afford to slack off with ii 15 being so close#if anyone is reading this ty sm for liking my silly blog and i hope you have a good day/night#102
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i love watching the same movie over and over and over and over again <3 even when im completely sick of it ill still watch it another thousand times <3 (and it's literally just who framed roger rabbit)
#i LOVE who framed roger rabbit sm#the movie ever#ive seen it like?? 3 times within the past 2 weeks??? and i just finished watching it again#gremlins too. ive seen that shit a billion times#brutus rambles
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i just finished penance by eliza clark and i have thoughts that can only be communicated out loud in person through speech with an accompanying slideshow of pics of me in maxi skirts from 5th to 10th grade
#i liked it :))#do yall have thoughts#also finished something that may shock and discredit you by daniel m lavery it is also very very good for me#started on bunny by mona awad not liking it very much so far.#trying to do more longform fiction.. the era of the short story is OVER! i have an attention span and the ability to read now!#by ''do'' i mean read btw im only capable of writing poetry and short stories at the moment#OH also finished mortal trash by kim addonizio and my lesbian experience with loneliness by nagata kabi#couldnt get thru tampa by alissa nutting#what else have i read this year... pretty mug just those and mostly within the last 2 weeks btw#mug* = much#different form of media but ive also watched until ep7 of dungeon meshi i like it very much it is mostly chill and there is a lot of food po#rn and thats always my fav part in books and movies anyways#also finished mentopolis.. havent caught up on fhsy.. rewatching neverafter to sleep on and off
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#talks#i mean i should im just tired. all the time. go home my back hits the bed accidentally im asleep for 6 hours.#ive been trying to finish mockingjay part 2 (a 2 hour long movie) for a week now. watching a bit every day.
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and btw im in my hater arc rn. as time goes on the more i find a lot of 'fandom' stuff insufferable (i like art n stuff. just the way that fandom refits every media to fit a single mold and set of boring archetypes is exhausting.)
i just get really easily annoyed lately. and have been unfollowing people on a whim a lot. its not personal i promise
#fandom culture has made me actively dislike shit i was fixated on a year ago. looking at your ninja turtles#its not even like what they were doing were particularly offensive it was just exhaustingly boring#im sorry i just really dont care about ur 2 million fics about leo being a sadboy. or one million seperated aus.#theres definetly a part of the whole situation in general which has been me coming to terms with my own internalized misogny#actively re-examining my tendencys to gravity towards male characters#idk maybe its making me dislike art more. but idk. ive always analyzed why i react certain ways to certain things. this isnt new for me#anywaays. i had been following a bunch of ninja turtle blogs and they sorta kept messing around with shows like ninjago too#and at some point i was just like. i dont know if these shows are actually that good guys. i think youjust like shows for little boys#and fandoms tend to shaft female chars so it sure helps that their casts are 98% male .#maybe theyre not your blorbo maybe theyre just Guy McAverageMan. thats not inherently bad but you have to consider it.#guys rottmnt is isnt even that good . its not that good ok. its alright/pretty good. and the movie does a few neat things#i feel like ive become one of those people that turn 18 and then immediately go 'minors dni'. im not there yet but i just.#we're watching kids shows. its ok . you can say it.#you may have noticed ive been reblogging a lot of dungeon meshi stuff. i read it all over the past week.#but here's the thing. i thought it was mid/good for like 70% of it.#i think its got some really really cool worldbuilding ideas and stuff#but i think a lot of the writing was sorta. uninteresting to me.#my discord friends have been raving over izutsumi for months.#but i found her presence in the story to be weird and underdeveloped. she felt out of place and her introduction felt clumsy#i felt when the story was ramping up the manga got a lot better. because again theres some rlly cool ideas at play#all the shit with the lion? incredible. the way all the infighting led to more problems bc the elves refuse to explain anything? rlly good.#marcille landing in power? reallly good shit. (i still thought it was a lil undercooked still tho)#i cant stop thinking about laios in that climax scene. i think he shouldve been feral a lot more often#uhh. i got distracted. fandom bad and annoying.#saw a post talking about marcille realizing izutsumi is only 17 and then describing how 'omg shes a mom now' and i wanted to throw up#im done. i swear. im done talking for real. aagh#text
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these college classes that i registered and paid for are really cutting into my movie watching time 馃檮
#only saw 2 last week because ive just been writing essays all day every day#i like writing essays but maybe not having three due in the same week#like i need time to watch movies and television and read books. is that so much to ask
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local woman gets two consecutive weeks off work, immediately starts experiencing some type of Ailment
#literally#yesterday all day at work i was busy but manageable. just started feeling the tiredness set in near the end of the work day tbh#biked home feeling perfectly fine. got in and pretty much instantly i got 1. the worst headache 2. blurry spots in my vision?#i was like lemme relax by watching a movie but then was like huh. entire spots are missing when i try to look.#popped a big painfkiller and drank some tea in case it was dehydration or smth and by the end of the night it had improved but i still#went to bed early just listening to a YT vid letting my eyes rest and falling asleep p quickly even if i did wake up a few times in between#this mornign i was fine. but after a few hrs it's starting to settle in again and idk what to do abt it. i was聽 gonna catch up on bridgerton#then mb get some reading done but like i need my eyes fr that... why is my vision still fucky.does ayone know what to do about it?#mb it's a delayed stress response frm the week ive had? is it a nutritional thing? baby's first weirdass migraine but it comes and goes???#i would do further research trying to read up on whta the hell i got but 1. reading extremely difficult feat and 2. internet said eye tumor#so im like oh fuck OFF#any and aall advice welcome though rip thanks#*edt lying down wi one episode of iwtv later and vision has +- returned to normal. so additional screentime....good???? make it make sense
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my qpp pointed out to me that Lydia in the Beetlejuice Beetlejuice movie that'll come in September,, looks like Beelzebub from the second season of Good Omens. and oh man I can't unsee it and im brainrotting so hard
#watched the beetlejuice movie hours ago#rlly liked it a lot#look foward to the 2nd movie#ive been so obsessed with beelzebub for weeks now#send help lmao (i love them sm)#jackattkrambles#good omens#good omens 2#beelzebub#good omens beelzebub#beetlejuice#beetlejuice lydia#beetlejuice beetlejuice#lydia deetz
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(+ give me recs pls 馃懁)
#personally ive watched 59 and someone i matched with on bumble told me that was excessive 馃槶#which i don't think it is. thats like 2 per week. its fine#polls#cinema#movies#film
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There needs to be a way to find slop movies...
#twist rambles#like. movies that arent sludge but slop. <- guy that has adopted this scale from someone else#but like... sometimes u need smth bad thats not horrible and has a bit of effort but not much. does that make sense.#ive been watching TOO many m/cu movies the last 2 weeks i need something with heart ok...
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