#ive waited and survived this long! ill make it! i will fucking make it i swear to god

[rockandrolldisgrace]

fuck my life

[pinkmoondoll9shihtzu]

a

Yesterday i got the craziest message out of the blue .. My ex bf from 2011-2013's other ex gf who he was with before me hit me up to say that he got arrested?? And that her and like 5 other people are pressing charges against him for assault spanning across all different periods of time.. it's really wild idk how to feel. She said if i feel comfortable i can give my own testimony for when they go to court , even tho i dont live in england anymore.. Im like yeah honestly i will because like this dude is so unrelentingly violent and scary he legit almost killed me it was so extreme, i've known a lot of corrupt ppl but he is the only one i've always thought needs to be locked away from society like it's a murder scene waiting to happen not to mention he is just a straightup rapist

it's crazy too cus like 4 or 5 nights ago i had a dream that me and him and the girl who messaged me were all watching videos of ourselves in that time period like i even posted about it on here. i thought it was just a typical trauma processing dream not an actual premonition of something i would have to revisit irl

She said something about how she'd been looking back in her old fb messages with him to help paint a picture of the timeline so out of morbid curiosity today i checked to see if i still had ours. Sure enough i do, i've never looked at them retroactively before, but holy shit like... He is so much more of a monster than i even remembered, i dont get triggered easily anymore but it genuinely hurt my heart to see how horrible he was. Every conversation is just him snapping at me because i didnt respond to him fast enough or something so minor, and the whole time im just trying to apologize and de-escalate but it makes him more and more furious. the day before i was about to fly to london to move back in with him he was threatening to kill himself because i was going to my friends house to say bye to them. He was like "You're going to a party i just know it you're lying to me you'd never tell me you're really going to a party because you know i'm suicidal you've ruined my night you're a piece of shit" Like this was the NIGHT before i was about to leave everything behind just for him

i'm like rly shocked at everything i saw in that convo today im not even scratching the surface with this post. Anyways i guess it's cool that there is some justice happening right now and the people who survived him have been able to band together to try and ensure he can't hurt anyone else in the future. i rly wish none of us ever had to go thru any of that tho ugh i was so young i just really had no idea and it fucked me up for many many years afterwards. ive come a long way tho .

ill probly delete later cus idk who lurks this blog. i prefer not to show weakness :K But yeah.. just wanted to express this crazy unexpected life event and get it off my chest while its fresh

Peace and love !!!

[messenger-of-stupidity]

Soup is for nerds

WOW ITS BEEN SO LONG SINCE IVE DONE ONE OF THESE!!

Welcome back to the Shaw Pack Mates Super top secret and totally unknown by anyone outside of the group groupchat. (Name trademarked by Angel.)

Whether these are real conversations I’ve overheard/seen/partaken in or not is entirely unknown and shall stay that way.

CW: Crack, Angel needs to learn what boundaries are but not in a toxic way, Sam is asking for a god to save him he’s not picky on which god he’ll even rely on science it doesn’t even need to be religious, Sweetheart please for the love of the universe put the cat down, Baabe why are you just sitting there laughing?

Actual CW: Crack, mentions to others being sneaky link/hoes/sluts but in a friendly platonic way, GN listeners. Any reference to gendered terms is purely for the memes and not to be taken seriously.

<-- Previous _______ Next -->

Redacted Masterlist

Angel: im so disappointed in u all

Sam: Oh dear. What’s upset you now?

Angel: is that lip im hearing

Baabe: if my boss finds out im on my phone right now im so dead. so whats wrong bb?

Sweetheart: Tracking down a covert breaker. Cant talk rn.

Sam: Now I’m actually concerned. Is this genuine, or is Angel being Angel again?

Angel: not one of u said ‘congrats on ur nuptials’

Sam: I wasn’t aware anyone called marriage nuptials anymore, but also if I’m not mistaken you two have yet to have your wedding since you both are still planning it?

Baabe: CONGRATS ON YOUR NUPTIALS YOU SILLY GOOSE

Angel: this is why im marrying with baabe

Baabe: LETS GET DOWN TO BUSINESS

Angel: ooooooo teeaaaaa

Sweetheart: That’s what he said.

Sam: I think one day I will gather the strength to leave this groupchat.

Angel: oh ill just add u back and then kidnap u to drag u to my basement so u cant ever try to leave me again

Sam: Angel what the fuck.

Angel: HE DIDNT USE A COMMA IM THE REAL WINNER HERE

Baabe: to defeat the huns~

Angel: im so upset rn its not even funny like i cant live laugh love under these conditions

Baabe: aweeee what’s wrong bby?

Sam: Is there something I could do to help? I will if I can.

Angel: hang on i gotta wait for sweetheart to respond so i can get all the attention necessary

Sweetheart: Sorry I was just filming a tiktok with Aggro. Whats up

Angel: perfect all my three hoes are here

Sam: I resent being called that, but I also recognize my powerlessness in getting you to change it, so continue.

Angel: do yall even have any clue how expensive it is to buy a mcdonalds bouncy house

Sweetheart: Why are you trying to buy a bouncy house

Baabe: ngl i’m kinda curious about that too

Angel: well i could just buy it because ur bitch is rich rich but i share a joint account with my mega alpha gigachad of a finance so i cant buy it without him noticing but i wanna keep it a surprise so theres just a bouncy house in our backyard when he comes home

Sam: Don’t you mean your ‘fiance’?

Angel: no i mean finance im just with davey for his money but my real loves is my three hoes in this gc

Sweetheart: Youre so romantic Angel

Baabe: ikr? like just marry me already

Angel: anyways this is my way of asking u to buy me a bouncy house who wants the privilege

Angel: DONT JUST LEAVE ME ON READ YOU SLUTS

Angel: SOS

Baabe: whats wrong sneaky link?

Sam: Once again, I am confused whether or not this is a serious thing or Angel is playing up the dramatics again.

Sweetheart: I can send you a picture of my son if that will help

Angel: yes pls i miss my baby boy Angel: and also were out of sugary cereal and davey is making me eat his yucky worm food

Sweetheart: WHY DID YOU WRITE SOS? THIS IS A 911 EMERGENCY!

Baabe: dw bb i got u. just ask him why hes giving you his dog food.

Angel: oooo good idea hell take it away then and tell me to just starve and give me the chance to naruto run to sams house for breaky

Sam: Now hold on just a minute. I don’t recommend doing that Angel, also I don’t need to eat food and Darlin isn’t here for me to have any reason to make breakfast. I think you’ll survive a morning without your cereal.

Angel: YALL HE THREW A PLASTIC SPOON AT ME HALP

Baabe: MWAHAHAHAHHAHAHA

Sweetheart: rip

Angel: You’re next. - David

Baabe: oh fuck

Sweetheart: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA

Sam: rip

[fictionfixations]

can someone tell me how to beat this boss but explained in dumb terms like i was 5 😭 i saw a long reddit post regarding it but i understood barely any of it (ive been living off of auto so me no understand fight system well)

im trying to level SR olivine to get the boost for HP (and i have like the space blade because if i get his ult up it immediately gets the character in the 5th slot to get their ult but i never last long enough to get an ult in the battle)

also my dumbass thought i should level a random character (aster) and then i speedran through the story (I'd paused on like some part before we met Quincy?) and got stuck on a boss and turns out i couldve used those coins which i no longer have 💀

i mean its prob a good idea to be at least lvl 65 and up but nothing much i can do outside of wait for energy to refill then battle rinse and repeat

you dont even have to say something you could just link something for me to read (idk maybe if i reread that reddit post ill understand this time but also ive tried reading how to do like the stuff in events that set you at a specific level and you have to do so and so and im just like what?? ???)

cause. so from that post youre meant to use your healer but all my characters are really squishy. so it knocked him down to like 60 hp(?) within like 2 turns? which i cant defend against (because he dies anyway) and i dont have an ult built (i need at least 3 turns to build idol blade and maid dante ult but i dont survive that long)

they also said to have a taunt character like morvay so olivine doesnt get hit, idk how well that works but regardless it'll still take time even if i do try him cause coins

anyway since i kept dying i tried all defense trying to build up ult but still death so im thinking my characters might be too weak (and the team comp is probably really bad, but idk what is a good team)

idk how to make him not die space blade just sat there like oh 💀 apparently it can work on dif ppl too if 5 is dead but still

dante and morvay survive the longest (only cause they do the defend thing after attack/ult ???) but oof

edit: this is the farthest ive gotten? idk i did another team but w/ auto team to see if it made a difference and idol blade and space blade survived

and space blade just kept using his ult on himself which kept healing idol blade and so it was just ult spam tbh 💀

double edit: IT BECAME AN ACTUAL STRATEGY THAT WORKS and i never wouldve noticed

well im fucked but HOLY SHIT ???? i was focusing on the wrong character 😭

EDIT EDIT: LETS FUCKING GOOOOO

😭😭😭😭 someone please tell me that the bosses dont get harder after this

[hiemaldesirae]

please. I'm begging you for more crumbs about VADD!Shen Jiu and also that Roxana AU you have from that art post you did of the two.

As a VADD AND SVSSS fan, especially as a fan of the original villains— please. I AM FROTHING AT THE MOUTH FOR MORE. I'm actually in the process of outlining a crossover with the original goods of both.

God, the Roxana one as well— please, PLEASE TELL ME SJ IS ROXIE HE'S SO ROXANA-CODED SOMEHOW. GIVE HIM BUTTERFLIES AND POISON AND— *gets knocked out*

by the way, LOVE your artstyle. scratches an itch i did not know existed in my brain. your chibis as well. they're so cute!!

oh you have no idea how long ive waited to talk about them. this mayyy get a bit long so ill leave it under the readmore.

disclaimer: i intend on finishing these fics so what im going to be talking about is inspirations and unfinished / abandoned ideas and other ideas i have for the works instead of anything relating to the plots themselves

for svadd, sj is a lot more complicated than he appears to be on the surface. im not so sure if what i have written currently is what i /want/ exactly because i know i want his character to go a certain way. the relationships between him and his modern-day friends is one meant to parallel the in-game "shen qingqiu" sj compares himself to and in much the same way, mirror the way that sy contrasts himself with sqq in canon: but instead of being condescending and viewing sqq as a one dimensional character, sj is able to appreciate his nuance while still being rightfully angry over his actions

to me, sj is supposed to be an unreliable narrator who constantly enforces his own thoughts. he tells himself over and over that he misses his home and that he wants to go back, that he absolutely needs to- but then, he turns the other way and finds himself being sucked even deeper into this different one.

i also really wanted to explore how sjs dynamic with a lot of the characters would be affected knowing that they were "based off" his real friends, but again im not very confident with how it came off lol

there was a lot of points in the story where i attempted to add in foreshadowing for the ending i want the story to take... in any case, it definitely wont go the same way as vadd, though i did toy with the idea of a "version" of sy being the main villain haha

(it might still happen for shits and giggles)

as for the roxanna au there are a lot of things ive wanted to do with this au and its good that i havent posted because it means i can keep revising til i come up with something good lol

its a liujiu au with some bingyuan / cumplane thrown into the mix (the cumplane is overwhelmingly toxic btw bingyuan is the healthy one out of the two here 😭) where yes sj is xana !!! he really just makes such a good manhwa villainess haha

i had been puzzling over what i wanted his motif to be-- after all, sj is typically associated with the simplicity and calming bamboo so the glittering butterflies wouldnt work with him- but after some deliberation i decided with using moths for him :3c still subject to change ofc but i think im happy with this as is

the story is somewhat similar to how roxanna goes but surprise sj isnt the transmigrator here! (and honestly, roxanna wouldve been sm better if xana hadnt been a transmigrator... or maybe i just think that because it was only used as a convenient plot point for her to know crucial info. sigh.)

my outline of how the roxanna au goes is basically this:

lqg fucks around and finds out

sj who has been seeing dreams of the "book" sy read knows what will happen to his family if lqg dies

etc

at the same time: sy, transmigrator, attempts to make sure his only surviving older brother lives to a long happy life and the only way he can secure this is by fucking up that hack author

also i killed off qi-ge and idk if i want him to come back. he'll be like the stereotypical dead anime mother for this au lmao

hmm and i think thats all i have to say for these aus... thanks for giving me a chance to ramble on haha ~ much appreciated !! and thank you for the compliment, im flattered!! 🥹🥹💕

[goldenimpact]

hELLO IS ANYONE OUT THERE????

OKAY HI hELLO  FIRST OFF I HOPE EVERYONE IS WELL NOW

THAT THE EVIL WHATEVER I AM HAS FALLEN AND GCANT GET UP COMMERCIAL

SOMETHIN SEOMTHIGN DID IT HURT WHEN YOU FELL FROM HEAVEN THE ANSWER IS YES I GOT SHOVES TO THE FLOOR RECENTLY AND THIS FUCKIN BRUISE ISNT FADING FUNNNY HAHA OK PLEASENTRIRSSE ARE DONE

UH IM CATHERINE, MOD-SAN, GOLD, whatever they're callin me nowadays holy shit dude my hands are shakin like crazy

they've had me literally cleaning house PRETTY MUCH AS SOON AS I RECOVERED all work no play makes jack a dull boy thats me IM jack damn it i can't tell if i've eveolved into  a live-in housekeeper or some sort of roomaate and the paymetnt si s that i get to keep my lifeand also i REALLY need to move my keyboard over or get the window to leave the screen cause i can't blind type it just ain't happenin my leg's jitterering like hell BUT THE MOST IMPORTANT PART IS IM ALIVE YAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO but i have absolutely NO CLUE how ;long THAS gonna last BBUT the great news is that ive finally been able to sit at my dangf computer and and actual;ly TYOOUCH ANFD LOOK AT IT ive practically been buried in all the freezers BUT ANYWAYS GOD MY HANDSA THEY STING SO FUCKING IABAD D ALKl ANYWAYS IM ALIVE IM STILL HERE IM TRYING?????????? TO GET BACK BUT EVERYONE HERE IS UHH NOT GOOD TO PUT IT LIGHTLY ITS TERRIFYIN OVER HERE BUT IM SENDING MY WELL WISHES THAT EVERYONE IS OKAY OVER THERE AND YOU SURVIVED WHETER THE HECK ANGR MY BIG SDIS MUST"VE SBUBJECTED YALL TOO BEACSE SHE IS FUCKING PISSSEEED LATELY IM GENUUNINLY WORRIED FOR OURLIVES LEVEL THERES SO MANY FIGHTS AND COMING-OUT-ABOUT-HER-LEGEND-OF-VIOLENCE STORY AND THE SHOOTIGN REVENTLY AND POINT IS THE LEGAL STUFF MIGHT GET RESOLVED OKAY?????? DADS MAGIC PROTAG POWERS OR WHATER APAPRENTLY HE KNOWS EVREYONE PERSON ON THE PLANET ITS GODDAMN WITCHCARAFT BUT MOMS DROPPIN LIKE EVERY OTHER DAY BBBBBBUYT OTS HER BIRTHDAY THIS WEEK AND WERE GONNA TRY AND TAKE ME OUTSIDE AND SEE IF I EXPLODE IN THE SUNLIGHT SO UUUUUUUUUUUUUUH THANKS FOR EVERYTHIGN I LOVE YOU GUYS ILL TRYT TO FUCKIN REACTIVATE ALL MY ACCOUNTS ALL A BAJILLION OF THEM APPARENTLY I WAS ONE CRASY AKJSFI KID PLEAASE PASS THIS MESSAGE ON MY BI G SIS WAKES UP SOON IF SHE HEARS ME IM GETTTIN IT I HAVE NO FUCKIN IDEA WHATS GOIN ON ON YOUR SIDE CAUSE NO ONE IS SAYIN JACK SHIT BADUM TSSHH BUT I GOT  MY SHIT COMIN AT LIKE 9 AM RIGHT WHEN I TAKE MY VERY MYSTERIOUS NO ONE KNOWS WHAT THE FUCK THEY DO ANYMORE MEDS AND IF I KICIK THE BUCKET AT LEAST I FUCKING STAYED BABY YAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

ALSO IM NOT DRUNK WE DONT DRINK IN THIS HOUSE EVER BUT I DEFINITYL NEEDS A LIL HELP IN LIKE ANY SORT OF MEANIN NO ONE IN THIS HOUSE FUCKIN REMEMBERS ANYTHING IN ANY SOR TOF WAY FOR ANY SORT OF THING ITS AN ACTUAL I HAVE NO IDEA WHOSE CALLIN OR TOUCHIN SHIT OR WHAT TALL THIS SHTI IS IN THE HOUSE AND FRANKLY IM TERRIFIED CAUSE EVREYONE LEAVES POR PASSES OUT BEFORE I CAN GET A CLEAR ANSWER AND AND ADN COLD WAR INTELLIGENCE WHATHER NEWS STORY OLD POPS HERE IS PUTTIN ON TV ANYWAYS LOVE YOU GUYS STAY SAFE CALL OUT IF YOU SEE ME IN THE WILDS SOMEDAY BUYYEYEEE

WAIT I JUST REMEMBRED BIG SIS IS GONNE DESTROY SHIT SOON SONSONSOON SHIT HSHISTHSHIT OK ANYWAYS ERVYTHIN ONLINE LOOKS OKAY FROM WHERE I CAN SEE IT IN MYSETRUOS VPN LAND AND IM GOIN THROUGH MY COMP RIGHT NOW BUT EVREYON IN OUR HOUSE RECOGNIZES THE DISCORD SYMBOL PROBABLY>>>?????? SO IM TRYIN TO FIND ALL OTHER CONTACTS BUT ITS JUST A BUNCH OF EMAILS DDDDUDE I JUST HAD TO LET YALL KNOW WE'RE ALIEV HOPE ALL OF YOU ARE WELL LOVE YALL EVER IF YOU DONT BELIEVE THAT ASTY SAFE WATCH OUT FOR FUKCING PUNCHES OR SIDESWEEPS AND MY BIG SISSS KILLING BLOW AND THE FCKKGNGI  SWORD ON TOP OF HER BOOKSELG OR THE LITTLE GUN THING IN HER LCOSET WHAT THE FUCK IS EVEN IN HER ROOM ANYMROE ANYWASY DONT DIE OUT THERE LIKE ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PEACE OUT BURY ME UNDER A BLUE SKY WITH ALL MY SHIT IIM HANDING  DOWN WHATEVR THE ITTY BITTY NOT SO BITTY NEICE WANTS LIL PRINCESS LILLY HAACKER SCAMMER HUSTLER SECOND LEGEND OF VIOLENCE IN THE MAKIN IM GONNA FUCKIN PASS OUT I HAVE NO  IDEA OF FUCKIN ANYTHIN THATS HAPPPENIN HERE EVERERR GOD CAN I TALK TO ANYONE THAT ISNT THIS NEIGHBORHOOD THAT THIGNS I HAVE HEARSD ABOUT THE PWOPLE ROUND HERE any ewysbans m y hands are shak in and breakin and crankin love yall stay safe dont fall into a ditch like me ever again mMWAHH TEDDIE IF YOURE OUT I STILL OWE YOU THAT FUCKIN LETTTERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

[haemosexuality]

FNAF MOVIE SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT DONT READ IF YOU HAVENT SEEN IT YET I MEAN IT!!!!!!!

im ab to rewatch it at home and ill be writing what i think during it

im not gonna be talking ab stuff i already said in my other post lol

the FIRST SCENE is already fucking visceral dude. like they dont show any gore or anything but damn the fucking. aaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAA ITS GOOD its so good. also the previous security guard does exactly the same thing mike does later own to try to escape the freddy mask but mike succeeds and he doesnt, which is kinda like how in game phone guy (previous security guard) goes through the same process we do but we/mike survives and he doesnt. cool!!

THE INTRO WITH THE MINIGAME STYLE... DUDE. DUDE. I LOVE THIS MOVIE ITS A LOVE LETTER FOR THE FANS FR I WAS SO HYPE WITH EXCITEMENT I ALMOST STARTED CRYING IN THE THEATER. ALSO ITS JUST FUCKING COOL LOOKING

the rainbow!!!!! in the coffee shop scene!!! its the fnaf world rainbow!!

see the movie has the scene where william reads the name michael schmidt and pauses and long time fans will prob be like aha is that william realizing this is his son. but no thats where it tricks you bc hes actually just realizing this is a relative of that kid he kidnapped a while ago. which like obviously cuz why would william realize this guys his son by reading his, fake name?? but confirmation bias or smth

I WAS SO SHOCKED BY SEEING MATPAT THE FIRST TIME I WATCHED THAT I DIDNT CATCH HIM SAYING "THATS JUST A THEORY". OH MY FUCKING GOD DUDE

🎶It's getting lonely, it's getting hard to breathe

The arcade's empty, I think it's Christmas Eve

Someone's broken in, now they're painting on my skin

Breaking me and taking my quarters

Bashing in my face with a crowbar

Kicking me and pushing me over

Now they see my blood on their sneakers🎶

i am so jealous of the midnight motorist shirt its not even funny

my complain is that how did none of the animatronics have blood on them after brutally killing several ppl. come on!!!

me hearing the words "follow me" on a fnaf movie: holy shit is this a motherfucking fnaf reference?!?!?

oh my god that totally is the fucking fake dog animatronic

oh my god they dont actually swear in the og. she said "what in the heck" but portuguese translated that to what the fuck. incredible. amazing.

"i know what crazy looks like, mike. this isnt it" OH. OH

vanessas behavior was already pretty understandable without the extra context but knowing shes williams daughter makes it JUICY. ooo yeah baby gimme the trauma gimme the guilt

the scene with the animatronics and abby being besties felt a bit too ooc at first to me and ive heard that other people felt the same but as i think more about it it does kinda make sense. one of the main differences from the game is that in this the ghost kids' minds seem to be pretty intact? or like they can think theyre fully conscious etc so. i can see them wanting to do kid stuff. and i saw someone point out that they were actively trying to get abbys trust too so they could convince her to 'join them' (bc afton was somehow influencing them to be #evil) so, theres that. and either way it doesnt take away from the overall experience so who cares

the tv scenes were such a missed oportunity they couldve shown the immortal and the restless... i kept waiting for it :(

oh my god the airplane. i just realized she had garretts toy airplane bc william gave it to her after he killed him oh my god i feel sick

the ball pit wasnt even time travelling 0/10

i didnt watch the credits long enough in the theater to hear the COME FIND ME but AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA dude

yeah so good. i fucking loved this

[vormov]

"Would you fucking wait a second?"

i always felt like i didn't belong. wisps of winds could carry me away like the wind wanted something of me, i couldn't understand why until now. as if the phrases made sense at the tugs of the gown felt real where were you when i awoke? surely you could be here among our accompaniment, i lit a pyre a long time ago. won't it come back to me enormously? perhaps if i live long enough. (let it speak)

all our gains are due to others, we speak in winds untethered but the song remains the same all of our lives feel fleeting now, the winds gave us the life we couldn't notice or let this kindness go without saying, ive never felt such grace.

you'll have to forgive me for loving on you awhile, we let this get so cold i forgot myself gigantic plunges into the unknown, we'll get there eventually, but i never felt uselesss not even this whole time for i was never truely alone. "This heart/ it beats beats for only you / my heart is yours"

the wind did spare me a time to speak, but i made excuses for it like i were a lie on fire. these things they say are hearsay, for they don't know me? but with each phantom verse we understand, one step closer. make it into a powerfully unnoticable node.

i wish to speak open like i never have, as if we longed and spoke like a wind unspoken. agaze again like the stars gave us a glimpse between this ether and the feeling downright felt like i wasn't even alive before. but have only garnered something i carry with the weight, only you know what i mean.

. * i left home, i abandoned who i was to with which such sublime above? let me to the notions of life being a lie, as if i were surprised. if i didn't remember these things i fear it'd be much more of a calamity.

we were taught to fear those of different, save those who weren't quite there… like the words we spoke meant not a thing at all as we followed our guts into the politispheric indulgence, like anyone cares anymore? blithe is the way we speak now engulfed in a madness none can see. "always in my thoughts you are/ always in my dreams you are"

ive felt the fear like a live electric spent my time wondering if the end times had fallen down from the mighty above list it in this lonely manual, i'll find out what you mean later/ we have all the time to spend here among the cosmos, let us bend it with our ever evanescent glow.

i couldn't let go quicker.

     would you fucking listen? id love to hear it come from your own lips, that just this one single time i was [redacted], but i'll never know thanks to you disown, ill go. bet that i'll see the horizon before you would, you've always been a coward.

let these winds speak this unknown to those who need to hear it, it is your only imperative now…let it be known. id give my life for that understanding, like all of existance could be summed up in a three minute movie. plead it with convincing terms to engulf it all and never think again, "we'll do it!" i can't even begin the irony without a space for myself. "kicking your crosses down…"

i'll imagine it like it were painted into the sky deeply seeing how our eyes always sought the wrong targets to focus this elegance upon, won't you know who we really were? or will i understand this last verse again on time? won't you. (8-28-24 — lyrics quoted*: Paramore, Porcupine Tree, Circa Survive)

[sadshitonmain]

DICEY I S DRUNK

Needdd to write my note before i ctb in a week ish so

Fuck u mom how dare you fucking give up on me. Picking new family and popping out kids like a goddamn pez dispenzer instead of like faking interest in shit i actully enjoy for five mins.

Same goes for dad but extra FUCK you for never visiting when you had the chance and extra extra fuck you for getting sick and losing what little ego you had left so you dont even recognize me anymore. Asshole move.

FUCK YOU EMILY GOD FUCK I LOVED YOU AND I ONLY FUCKING LEFT BC I KNEW I COULDNT STAY AWAY IF YOU EVER CALLED BACK AND IM STILL WAITING FOR IT 6 GODDAMN YEARS LATER. Im sorry too. I wish I'd had the help i needed before we tried to run away. I wish my wife coulda seen me at my best instead of my worst and ill never stop dreaming of a world where at least you're happy -even if itsone without me, Bc as far as i know you're probably dead and its all my fault. It never got better for me but at least im in control and hot now.

I'm sorry Sebastian. JP and FL and Kitsu. For my own good i shoulda stayed out of it. But at least i tried unlike you idiots. At least you had only one dead kid that year, if not for me there'd be two so fuck you. I just wanted to do some good for all my fuckups and i couldnt stand the idwa of another dead qu*er child. I miss you all, I hope missing me eats you alive.

To my new friends.

Skye, plz dont beat urself up over this one,.its my choice. Im not the same as her and you couldnt chamge anything, you just got caught in the crossfire.

Maddy, be smart be safe be yourself. Fuck someone and chase that femboy.

Thylia.. fuck you're the first real person ive met in a decade. I wish id met you sooner. Be strong.

Pip. Make a goddamn choice girl. Either be yourself or play it safe and be miserable. This life is hell and i wouldnt wish it on anyone. You still have a future, just be smart about it. Finish college, chase your passions. Transition quietly, practice looking how you want and move far the fuck away when its safe. Everyone goes through an ugly phase and thats fine. And seriously SERIOUSLY, just chill the fuck out and go with the flow.

No one else is worth mentioning. You all betrayed me. You all said id be nothing but a burnt out worthless fag and then you made that reality not me. I hate you all for it. Hopefully these bottles do me in.

Emi.. Alex.. whatever you go by now, howdy stranger. I'm sorry I'm like this. I'm sorry my ideas abt love and passion and loyalty were so fucked up.. it really was how i was raised and it still really was my fault. There isnt a day that goes by i dont wonder what would have happened had i stuck around for a few more days and let us both cool off. I was completely obsessed and jealous and who could really blame me, I clung to that stupid dream for dear fucking life for years and when i finally had the chance the world literally came crashing down around us. If not for covid, if not for SPDs fucking power trip, if not for how i was raised if not for how broken i was if I had just listened to you and respected you fuck our dream could have come true. I love you. I'll never love anyone else, I've always loved you since the day you were quietly introduced and sat in Mr. Baker's class across the room all those years ago. I knew then and I know now 14 years later that you were always my better half.

I hope eternity is real, I hope I suffer for it. This shitty trailer has been my exile for 4 years and in a week it will be my tomb.

In truth if id had any courage at all id have ended it a long time ago, but im a total goddamn coward even piss drunk on a work night. Im still praying you'll save me but i know it wont happen, it cant happen. I'll never change, I'll always be the crazy ex, always be another person that abused your trust and chased you across the city we were supposed to grow old in. I hate everything i was, and everything i had to be to survive and everything i am now. I don't blame you, i don't even hate you.

You were always right.

I still love you.

Dicey,

(Formerly Lusy, formerly Lyrah)

Fuck you all, i give up

[fail-boy]

waaaah say hi to her for me!!!!!👋👋👋👋 walking dogs with just music sounds so nice, ive looked into being a dog walker many times before but i cant drive so i wouldn't be able to get to anyone's house >.< (also im scared of small dogs and most people here have smaller dogs...i much prefer bigger ones bc they're nicer to me) i hope the 'za is tasty🍕🍕 as for me...i never have plans lol i mainly just watch videos and try to draw. however i did recently clean up the floor of my room enough to be able to see it and walk again so that's exciting for me :D

also- i have a partner and am polyam too!!!! twinsies!!!!!! ill do my best to flirt bc ill be honest. i dont know how. nor do i pick up on it but ill try my darndest🫡

what music do you listen to??? i listen to like practically anything and everything, just as long as i vibe with the sound. who's your favorite artist!!!!!!! mine is red vox!!!!!! they're a smaller band i found through the lead singers twitch streams and ive loved them for years now :D oh and what're some hobbies you have :0? sorry if this is a lot of questions im just excited!!!!

- 🫀🦷

i didn't end up going! i got too stoned and rescheduled for later this week haha (>_<) i actually don't drive myself i get the bus everywhere but i get that not everywhere has decent public transport, im just lucky enough to live in sydney. i usually walk medium sized doggies like pitbulls and staffies :3 my dog is a little dog he's a pug and he's a very sweet boy he would love u <3

im soooo excited for pizza ive been waiting since i ran out of money last week, i get paid in a couple days and im so excited

that sounds fun tho! i dont do much most days either i usually just smoke and watch youtube videos and thats abt it hahaha. fuck yeah good job on your floor!!!!!! that kinda stuff takes so so much effort im proud of u cutie <3

woohoo!!! twinsies for real!!!!! and that's okay sugar as long as i can flirt back :p

musicwise i listen to lots of punk subgenres like folk punk and hardcore punk i like green day, ajj, she/her/hers, harley poe and pansy division, i like post hardcore like thursday, early mcr, circa survive, and saosin, 90s-early 2000s emo, i like metal too i really like mayhem, cattle decapitation, cannibal corpse, xavleg, dying fetus, ayat, and suicide silence <33333 those r probably my faves but ill listen to anything someone recommends so pls let me know your other favourites!!! ive heard of red vox ill make sure to check them out now!

[highschool-rooftop]

oct. 27th, 2020

man its weird to think this blog is 2 years old isnt it? like when I started this i thought that i was anyday from just killing myself, i had no hope, no job, and was about to love my living situation but thanks to a few nice friends and accepting people, i was able to land a job at *generic sounding name for local seafood joint* and then after that place stressing me to the point of panic attacks and taking it out on the wait staff... then i ended things nice with that place despite how much i hated it and i apologized to the wait staff alot.. probably too much...

now ive worked at *big store chain* a year now and i hate it just as much as i hated *generic sounding name for local seafood joint* for a similar reason too!! i fucking despite the people that run the places i work because i know i could probably do their job 30× better, i just choose not to because thats also 30× more responsibility on my shoulders and ive already got broken legs from the shit i feel like im dealing with outside of work.

the more i focus for a minute the more i feel like my life is in shambles and that im barely functioning right anymore. ive been horribly depressed again as of the past couple months and my family i live with barely talk to me because im always in my room which is like totally fair, but if im not sleeping up there im using whatever energy is left from work to hang out with my friends because theyre actually engaged in the topics i talk about, they show interest and actually talk to me not at me. my aunt and uncle and i have few interests in common so its incredibly difficult for me to keep a conversation going for long with them. theyre always playing card games or board games but im not interested in them, theyre not really that fun for me. my uncle plays xbox but hes typically on COD which i dont enjoy because of how toxic those communities are, hes got minecraft but the last time he played he never told me he was getting on at all otherwise i would've joined! then theres me and my cousin who are currently on nearly completely different schedules and really only see each other when hes taking me to and from work which makes it hard to hang out and play games, and thats of hes even willing to play any of the games im comfortable with and not trying another Survival-Crafting-RPG-Game of the week or something like factorio which is hyper complicated and i dont have the time to dedicate to learning how to play correctly so i just end up being a resource collector and its kinda boring..

and all of thats just the at home situation. my friends at least hear from me more but since alot of them have moved out of town for college at this point i haven't hung out with a friend outside of work irl in like 5, maybe 6 months... and i dont interact with many people at work. im really really lonely.

small bit of good news i feel i should add here in case i dont come back again for a few months is that ive scheduled an appointment to see someone abt getting hrt, itll be Jan 19th! ill also be seeing a few of my online friends in December too!! i hope i can stay alive at least until then. sometimes i feel like im in the same situation i was in when i started this blog but those two things are the two things giving me the hope to keep pushing on i guess.

oh and my old friends birthday will be this weekend, i probably shouldve just forgotten them by now like they probably have me but in the off chance that they ever find this stupid blog: happy birthday BXXXXX, hope you have been in good health and that you are happy ! please be well and enjoy Freddy VS Jason and the Scary Godmother, and the live action Scooby Doo movies again this year !

with that i think thats all ive had to say. im neglecting mentioning new speaker of the house, Mike Johnson, and all the terrible horrible things i want to say abt him and how im worried it will fuck with my healthcare before i even recieve it due to the fact that im typing this up outside, its cold out, my phones almost dead, im tired, and i still have a bit of this bowl of the married iguanas to finish up with before unwinding and going to bed to repeat this living nightmare of a life all over again tomorrow. maybe ill watch adventure time before bed ..?

[the-insomniac-emporium]

Crimson Ties (Bela Dimitrescu/Reader, Soulmate AU) Pt. 2

Fandom: Resident Evil: Village

Rating: T for language and mild medical drama

Warnings: Typical Vampire shenanigans

Genre: Hurt + comfort

Summary: Bela is somewhat unprepared to deal with a soulmate who has no clue about her condition, her family, or any of the village's secrets. Thankfully, her sister Cassandra is more than willing to be a bad example. Also there's some fluff.

Notes: For reference, each of my soulmate stories take place in their own contained timeline, since they each involve different types of soulmates. So in this one, Cass doesn't currently have a soulmate.

Previous Chapters: 1: Stem the Flow

2: Tangled Strands

A gentle humming fills the space around you, as fingers slowly run through your hair. As far as you can tell you had fallen back asleep, for several hours, and you were just now waking back up. No longer holding you down, your soulmate is curled up next to you. There’s still a needle in your arm, much to your irritation, but now you can finally see what it’s connected to: An IV for a transfusion. Explains why I’m feeling so much better than before, you think. Then you’re turning your head to the other side, eager to finally get a good look at your soulmate. Instantly you’re blushing, tongue tying itself into a knot, because wow are you lucky.

“Feeling any better?” She asked, as soon as your gaze met hers. You try to stutter out a confirmation, but you’re too distracted by the soft curve of her smile to speak, and barely even manage a nod. That beautiful smile grows wider in response. “Good. I couldn’t stand the thought of you suffering more, after what you’ve already been through.” Now her smile fades, and she looks away for a few moments. Watching it makes your heart ache. So you swallow the lump in your throat, willing yourself to relax, before trying a little comforting of your own.

“I am safe now, am I not? Moreso, we have too much to talk about for us to dwell on the ill circumstances of our introduction. Let us cherish this time, in respite, with our hearts open wide to one another,” you said, donning your softest smile. Somehow your words fulfill their purpose, and your soulmate is once again grinning. Slowly she leans forward to rest her forehead against yours. Then she’s speaking, voice as smooth as the sheets you lay on.

“You are right, of course. I simply wish I could have saved you sooner,” she replied, tone betraying the sadness that her expression otherwise hid. Before you can protest, she continues talking, and you soon forget all about your qualms. “To think I don’t even know your name yet… nor you mine, I suppose. Let’s remedy that, yes? I am Bela Dimitrescu.” Something about her last name feels familiar to you, but not to the point of clear recognition. Instead of inquiring, you return her favor, giving her your own name. She repeats it back a few times, letting the syllables roll off her tongue, and you feel your heart skip a few beats. “A lovely name for a lovely soul, perfectly paired.”

A pause, followed by Bela reaching out to examine your IV. Following her gaze, you turn to the metal hook adjacent to the bed, where a blood bag hangs. Only a few drops remain inside. Just as when you first awoke, Bela gives a soft hum, then rises into a sitting position. Your first instinct is to copy the motion, and you’re relieved when (this time) she doesn’t push you back down. Both of you quietly inch your hands closer until they’re laid on top of each other.

“I wish I knew more about medicine, but unfortunately my family is more experienced in the creation of wounds than the treatment of them,” Bela said, scowling. Confused, you tilt your head at a slight angle, watching her with interest. Am I supposed to know who she’s referring to? My memories of the past couple days are still hazy, you think. “Do… do you remember how you ended up in the dungeon? I know you wanted to speak of happier things, and we can, soon. It’s just… Knowing how you arrived here may help me deal with the consequences of freeing you. Mother will be dreadfully upset that I’ve interrupted a draining, even if we are soulmates.”

“Wait, are you saying…? The intimidating giantess who strung me up and attempted to bleed me dry… is your mother?” You asked, jaw nearly dropping to the floor. This was an unexpected development, for sure.

“You didn’t know?” Bela replied, eyes going wide for a moment. Clearly she wouldn’t have said anything if she realized you weren’t already aware. Suddenly the tension in the room is palpable, with an uncomfortable silence overtaking the two of you. In the moment, you cannot even bring yourself to look at Bela, too stunned by this new knowledge. Eventually she breaks the silence, voice sounding unsure for once. “I realize that this is a lot to take in, if you need time to process it, I… I can go. But you need to understand that our situation is far more complicated than it might appear. We cannot survive without the blood of others- it is what sustains us when nothing else can.”

Now you’re staring at her like she’s crazy, and she’s standing up, moving to the other side of the room. She draws back a curtain, gazing out into the snow covered hills. Every muscle in your body is urging you to run while she’s distracted. Thread of fate be damned, this went far beyond anything you had ever imagined having to deal with. You come so close to ripping the IV right out of your arm. But a gentle tug on your soul string makes you pause, remembering all the times this bond gave you hope in dark times. Had she felt the same way, all these years? What had she gone through, in this absurd castle, on the very edges of civilization? You pull on the red thread, feeling a wave of composure wash over you.

“It appears there is much I need to learn. But is that not the very nature of our connection? We know, simply, that we are bound to each other, though we know not what shapes our souls take so that we might put them together, nor even what roles we must play. I cannot say that I understand your plight, my dear, but I will try, as is my obligation, and my honor,” you said, wishing you could hold her, and cursing your IV. As soon as the first word leaves your mouth, Bela is turning around, watching you with a bittersweet expression. Once you’re done she’s moving closer, as if reading your mind, extending a hand to cup your cheek. Then she leans forward to press a brief kiss to your forehead. “Oh, how I have longed for this- to be with you, to get to know you.”

“As did I,” she murmured. You can’t help but lean into her touch, closing your eyes and enjoying the moment. “Perhaps I should introduce you to my family? I imagine you’ll be needing breakfast anyway, and bringing human food back to my quarters would raise more suspicion than I’d like.” Well, the moment couldn’t last forever, could it?

“Only if you promise that your mother won’t suspend me by my wrists again. Or by any other part of me. Shall we simply put suspension off the table altogether?” You asked, half teasing. To be entirely honest, you were equally worried about Bela’s sisters. Well, the people you had heard other prisoners whispering about, who were the daughters of the giantess, and by connecting a few dots were also, presumably, Bela’s sisters. Apparently they preferred to play with their food. Unless, of course, Bela was one of the daughters you had heard about, and would have easily torn into you if not for your connection. Let’s not dwell on that concept, you think, glad to be distracted by your soulmate.

“I will not let anyone harm you anymore, my beloved. My mother would not stand so firmly in the way of my happiness,” Bela reassured, though you detected a hint of uncertainty in her tone. Still, there wasn’t much you could do other than trust her. “Now, let me take care of your bandages, then we’ll head downstairs…”

---------------------------------

“Who the fuck is this?” An unfamiliar voice asked, as you meandered down the corridor, arm around Bela for support. As soon as she hears the person speak, your soulmate is freezing in place, casting a worried glance over her shoulder. When you turn as well, you spot someone dressed almost identically to Bela. However, the woman wears a yellow pendant, as opposed to a red one, and her hair is a dark brown. It feels safe to assume that she’s one of the sisters you’ve heard about. Which understandably makes you nervous, to the point where you almost want to hide behind Bela. Instead, you stand tall, attempting to seem unfazed by either her presence or her vulgarity.

“Mind your manners, Cassandra,” Bela hissed, taking more of an aggressive stance than you had anticipated. “This, dear sister, is my soulmate. And if you even think about harming them, or getting in our way, I will tear you apart.” While you’re downright shocked at the intensity of Bela’s statement, her sister doesn’t look at all impressed, and eyes you with minimal interest. Better than looking at you with hatred, right? Apparently not, as Bela moves to stand between the two of you, eyes narrowed. There’s a clear stiffness in her posture that leaves you anxious. Cassandra seems to notice it as well, and laughs, before taking a few steps in your direction. Then your soulmate mimics the movement, forcing you to do so as well.

“They’re human,” Cassandra snapped, pausing to sniff the air and scowl. “Here I thought your soulmate would have to be special, if they’re to compare to your ego. You’re disappointed, aren’t you? Having to settle for this.” With that she shifts, flesh writhing, making your stomach churn as you watch her disintegrate into a cloud of… flies? What the hell is wrong with this family? Can Bela do that too? I hope not, you think. Soon you’re pulled from your thoughts, however, as the swarm circles around you, single insects occasionally surging forward to cut at your skin. But Bela is grabbing you by the sleeve and tugging you to her chest, moving against a wall so that her body shielded your own. Your eyes clamp shut as you shake in her arms. When the buzzing stops, it is quickly replaced with cruel laughter. “That fragile, hmm? I can’t wait to see what mother thinks. See you at breakfast, sister!”

Then the two of you are alone, still pressed against the wall, staying still until the sound of footsteps fade. You’re stunned, unsure of how to react. The fact that a few drops of blood roll down your cheek only makes things worse. Still, Bela managed to prevent you from getting too hurt, and the few wounds on your body are negligible. Ever filled with gratitude, you hold her close as you try to stutter out a few sentences.

“Is she always this hostile, or am I truly not what you had expected? No, pay me no mind, it hardly matters. Thank you for protecting me,” you whispered. In response, Bela gives you a little squeeze, then pulls back enough to wipe the blood from your face. There’s a hint of something odd in her expression, which you interpret to be related to her apparent ‘need for blood’. Thankfully, she is in perfect control, and does not frenzy the same way you had read about fictional vampires doing. But she does hesitate, words dying on her tongue, like there are a thousand things she wants to say, and no words to say them with. “It’s alright, my dear. Let’s just go to breakfast, like we planned, and hope your sister behaves better when supervised.”

Bela nods, quickly, before taking your hand in her own. Whatever awaited you in the dining room, the two of you would be ready. Hopefully.

[akuutaguava]

FUCKI I CANT POST ANYMORE SHIT ANYWAYS I LOVE YOU TIMBLR AND THE PEOPLE ON TUMBLR HAVE A GOOD REST OF UR DAY

SHIT IM ACTUALLY NOT GOING TO SURVIVE WITHOUT WRITING WEIRD THOUGHTS

Ahahahahaha im gonna have to rant on insta i hate life good bye

Better idea: type on this post and this post alone lets see how chaotic this gets

I am queercoding rn

IVE BEEN FEELING HUNGRY THE WHOLE DAY TODAY AND THE MOMENT I CAN EAT I DONT WANT TO WHAT KINDA FUCKERY IS THIS

actually sobs ive seen so much i want to reblog

I hate this godamn limit whatthefuck

Now people will go back to this random post and can’t see my posts popping up every two minutes

FUCK YEAH CASAVA CHIPS :D

My thoughts need to be documented even when i cant post on here

This used to be a post abt me talking abt killjng peoples dogs but who knows anymore

SOMEONE HMSSAVE ME AH

I HAVE A LOT OF ACCOUNTS THAT I NEED TO POST ON WHATTHEFUCK

SHIT THESE CASAVE CHIPS ARE SO GOOD

Bussing bussin frfr

I hate the people who made me not be able to type anything here today shie, apollo, ghoul im talking to you guys /j okay dw

Tempted to go bald and really embrace the mental illness

My mandarin caused havoc on like seven people today lmao

It got everywhere holy shit

Actually about to fucjing cry i hate nkt being able to post shit whathefuck its only been a day but WHY

Found out one of shed eerans songs is like the most famous song in the world and i actually want to end my life oml

Im going to play bsd mayoi to distract myself from this sad fate

AXTUALLY SOBBING TUMBLR CAN YOU STOP PLAYING AND JUST LET ME POST SHIT

FUCK YOU TUMBLE

just kidding haha only joking ily bbgorl

Phobic? You think im scared

Parents will be like don’t do drugs and then make you want to do them

Boutta die im talking abt liking hot evil dilfs what has my life gone to without tumblr

Physically pained

Mentally drained

JESUS CHRIST I NEED TO SNEEZE BUT I CANT I ACTUALLY HATE THIS

Gender? Isn’t that a spice?

ACTUALLY FML MY COMPUTER IS 12% IM GOING TO CRY AL MY CLASEES REQUIRE A COMPUTER TODSAY FUYCKM

yet another day with a substitute who hates my guts for no reason (she has a reason) 

im probably going to go home i feel actually so sick rn 

WHATTHEFUCK I JUST SAW A MEME MY TEACHER SHOWED US IN IT WAS SHAKESPEAR GOING “i put the lit in literature” THATS IT IM JUMOING OUT THE WINDOW 

art = are

dost = do

doth = does

'ere = before

hast = have

'tis = it is

'twas = it was

wast = were

whence = from where

wherefore = why

nay = no

twas over yonder

LMAO FUCK TOU SCHOOL I’M LEAVING

OUT OF THAT HELL HOLE :D

Actually so happy i don’t need to do science now fuck yeah

GAH I FEEL LIKE SHIT LMAO

Im pretty sure everyone thinks im skipping fuck you guys im not

THE CICADAS ARE STILL HERE FUCK

I hate the invention of long hair we should all just cut off our hair my ling hair sucks

Stopped to say hi to the ants :D

What a great lifw we would have if we were all just… orbs floating through space

Now is not a good time to be walking on a bridge over a highway

We made it off the bridge without commiting ded :D

I hate walking slow holy shit

Time to go die in my bed because i can’t really post on here anymore and that makes me sad and want to die

IHATEYOUIHATEYOU GO DIE IN A HOLE

AHIT AHIT SHIT AHIT SHIR MMY PARENTS WANT TO WATCH BUNGOU STRAY DOGS HOLU SHIT THEY WILL ACTUALLY HATE IT AND ME AND EVERYTHING AND MAKE ME SELL ALL MY MERCH HOMY SHIT IM ACTUALLY GOING TO DIE WHATTHEFUCK SOMEONE HELP

I need another post for that but tumblr is a bitch

ACTUALLY FUCK I SLEPT FOR LIKE FOUR HOURS I WAS SUPPOSED TO FUCKING STUDY FOR TEO TESTS HOLY SHIT AHHHHHH WHATTHEFUCK SOMEENE AHHH NI U HATE NOT BEING ABLE TO POST HERE WHATTEHECUKDS 

I WOKE UP AND I ACTUALLY FEEL SO SHIT LIKE I FEEL LIKE NOTHING MATTERS AND THERES NO POINT IN LIVING SOMEONE GET ME OUT OF THIS HEADSPACE 

BRO THE ONLY THING THATS BEEN KEEPING ME GOING TODAY IS WAITING TILL 12 AM SO I CAN FUCKING POST SHIT I JAT THIS APP

I ALSO CANT EVEN FUCKING MAKE DRAFTS AND THAT MAKES ME WANT TO UNALIVE 

dont mind those last posts, anyways three more hours until you guys get mass chaos :D goodbye for now and i’ll see you when i can actually fuckin post

[hello-yue-here]

thank you @chiptrillino for tagging me in a wip game!

not quite sure what the rules are but based off of your AMAZING POST OF ART WIPS (check it out here yall chip is so talented) ive decided to just share some parts of my writing wips that i rlly like because i cannot draw whatsoever lmao

enjoy some lil snippets hehe

from heart don't stand a chance:

"Zuko couldn’t get over her eyes. She was looking past the camera towards the man who took it. Zuko could see clear as day the love she held for Sokka in her gaze.

It was a perfect moment that Sokka had captured. No wonder held it with him at all times. If someone had looked at Zuko like that, he’d never want to see anything again.

As he took in the photograph, Sokka sat next to him in silence. His hand was clutching the ring around his neck again in his fist, pressing it close to his mouth as he peered over Zuko’s shoulder to look. Zuko turned to him to compliment the picture and saw a sad fondness lingering in his eyes."

this is a scene i wrote a while ago thats gonna appear in a much later chapter. but yeah. more yue angst for you guys im so sorry.

from i love you (and that's all i really know):

"Mister Sokka," a little voice wishpered in his ear as he felt tiny pokes on his cheek, "Wake up Mister Sokka."

"Good morning to you too Izumi," Sokka responded wearily as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes. He looked towards the little girl who was standing on her tippy toes to see over the edge of the bed and poke his face until he rose.

She smiled at him once she realized he was awake.

"Can we have pancakes?" She asked shyly, hiding her mouth just below the edge of the bed as she looked up at him with hopeful eyes.

That look was going to be dangerous for him later on, he could aready tell.

"Sure thing, Izumi, just let me sleep for five more minutes, mkay?" He asked as he shut his eyes again. He was exhausted from last nights events, and the sun had barely risen. How did Zuko do this?"

this is a scene from the next chapter of this fic. so much sokka and izumi bonding you guys are gonna explode hehehe.

from cherry (the mailee fic i wont shut up about that is now a whopping 19 pages):

"Mai never had to guess with Ty Lee. She always knew when Ty Lee was happy about something because she would use an obnoxious amount of exclamation points. She would send gifs of people or cartoons making outlandish expressions whenever she wanted to react to Mai’s text with a specific facial expression. Sometimes Ty Lee would even send voice memos whenever her thoughts became too long, or she got too excited about a story that her fingers couldn’t type as fast as she could speak."

hehe i love mailee.

from yours (the mailee sorority fic that i promise i did not forget about):

"Mai lifted her head off the pillow again and met Zuko’s eyes. She studied his impassive expression, trying to figure out if he was joking or not. He did seem like he missed Mai and Azula, so maybe he did really just want to catch up with them.

But Mai wasn’t going to give up a golden opportunity like this.

“Tell us everything about the boy toy as well and you’ve got yourself a deal,” Mai said.

Zuko rolled his eyes and sighed, “Ugh, fine. And his name is Sokka by the way.”

“Nuance. You also have to wake up Azula.”

“No chance in hell,” Zuko scoffed, “You’re the roommate and her fellow ‘pong princess,’ wake-up duty is all yours.”

“If she murders me, it’s your fault. She’s a bitch when she’s hungover.”

“Whatever you say, Mai,” Zuko grinned before returning back to his phone."

i have decided that zuko is a little shit for this fic and no one can stop me.

from Where'd All the Time Go? (the yuekka fic that i have severe writers block with that i also promis i have not forgotten about):

"“Sokka I really think you need to take a moment and-”

“I am fine Aang, I don’t have time for a feelings talk right now. Right now I need to find the fucking chief of this damn place.” His words came out harsher than he meant, but he didn’t have the time to dwell on that.

Before Sokka could run off again to continue his search, a hand grabbed his arm. One of Arnook’s advisors, Malina, had started dragging him towards the podium.

“Do you not realize how late you are for this Sokka? The ceremony was supposed to begin with your speech nearly an hour ago-” she hissed at him as she pulled him along through the crowd.

“Malina I’m sorry but I really need to speak with Arnook it is urgent-”

“This damn speech of yours is what’s urgent right now Sokka, you can speak with Arnook later but the guests are getting antsy so you need to give your speech right. Now.”

“But-”

“Now.”

Maline shoved Sokka towards the podium and suddenly all eyes were on him. Every guest in attendance had their focus solely on Sokka."

homeboy is stressed in this scene. things are slowly going to shit in this chapter. i promise i will update this before the end of the year. i swear. im so sorry.

from a currently untitled jetko/sukka boiling rock fic:

"“Oh good, you survived after all,” She said in a mocking tone.

Jet didn’t answer. He knew anything he said would be used against him. He didn’t know where he was. He didn’t know what was happening. But he would be damned if he showed that weakness in front of the fire nation.

“I was told you were more talkative than this,” the girl mused. There was something familiar about her, “my informants were very detailed when discussing your little teashop romance.”

I knew it. Jet snarled in his mind, That bastard betrayed me."

i want this fic to be a little darker but idk how good i am at writing darker fics because i love fluff and humor too much. this could be good angst practice for me.

from a toph and sokka fic that i wrote a while back to help me cope w some shit that i dont know if ill ever post:

"“Sokka? Are you still there?” Toph asked, the slightest hint of concern began to slip into their voice

“Tell me a story,” he was trembling. Despite all of his efforts to sound calm, he knew his voice came out trembling and scratchy and pathetic-

“Is everything okay? You don’t sound too hot,” Toph said through the phone.

Breathe, Sokka, breathe. You don’t want them to be worried, you just need to calm down.

“Please, Toph, I just,” he said through shaky breaths that weren’t nearly deep enough for him to be getting enough oxygen, “I just need a distraction. I just need to hear your voice okay?”"

nonbinary toph anyone?

from a 10 things i hate about you kataang and zukka au:

"“What? Something on my face?” the guy asked deadpanned. He rubbed at his scar as if he were wiping off a smudge of mustard, and Aang’s face went pale.

“Stop scaring the sophomores Zuko, this one’s new. He won’t get your… humor… just yet,” Ms. Wu said as she waved Aang off again.

“I’m hurt that you’d imply I’m not funny, Wu. I’m hilarious,” the senior, Zuko, said as he walked past Aang.

Aang let out a sigh of relief knowing that this Zuko guy didn’t seem all that offended by his awkwardness, and darted out of the room."

zuko is a little shit part 2. the amount of sarcasm i have dripping off of heath ledger zuko is glorious. let zuko be a little shit. i havent added to this in months but when i finish some of my other wips i cant wait to get back to this.

i have more wips and drafts saved but none of them have anything juicy or funny or interesting yet because all of them are like less than three pages so far

but yeah, heres a good chunk of sneaky peakys from my wips!

I hope you liked them!

anyone who wants to do this can totally go for it. imma tag @ambykinns @lumities and @flowers-inthepieshop (only if you all want too!!) because this was fun :)

[wines-n-kisses]

SIREN'S SONG (ii)

Part (i) , Part (ii) , Part (iii) , Part (iv)

Type: au!Suguro Geto x fem!reader

Warnings: violence, angst, fluff, swearing, mentions of sex (just once) anything else lemme know

Enjoy!!

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You were right there. Sitting by the window, sipping on coffee and calmly listening to music. Memories came rushing back to Geto. Everything that happened two years ago came back and hit him hard. "Oi, what do you want to eat?" Gojo asked snapping Geto out of it. "Uh... anything's fine, a sandwich would do. Take it back home ill be there in a while." "Geez, why are you suddenly acting weird?" "I'm not, just take the food and go home!" Gojo looked around to see what was causing him to be on edge. "Geto, are you seriously acting weird because of that woman sitting over there?" He asked geto raising an eyebrow "You know what, don't answer that. I'll wait for you at home." Gojo says grabbing the food and walking out. Geto walked up to you "Is this seat taken?" You looked at him "Sure, go ahead." Geto sat across you hesitantly. He looked at you, the way you changed your appearance. Your long hair that went down to your waist was now at your shoulder, you had more piercings and your outfit was completely opposite to your personality. You weren't wearing all black clothes that hugged your skin, you were wearing a loose top and a pair of jeans. "Are you just gonna stare at me like the pervert you are or make conversation?" You broke the silence and took off your earbuds. "I-I'm so-" "I already told you to save it." "I'm sorry. I have to say it! You cannot tell me not to apologize! My hearts been broken ever since I did that to you! Y/n, please give me another chance I love y-" "No you don't." Your voice was calm and low. Geto on the other hand was getting stares from a few people because he was talking a bit too loud "I do. H-How did you survive?" "Why do you want to know? You didn't have the balls to help me." "Just tell me, Y/n!"

~FLASHBACK~

You were lying on the floor surrounded by a pool of blood mixed with your sweat and tears. You felt heartbroken for the first time. Sadness was all you could feel as your body started to give up. You suddenly felt someone wrap something around your wound and lift you, you had no energy to fight them you were practically half dead. The only thing you hoped was that it wasn't Geto who saved you. A few hours later, you woke up and looked around. You felt pain in your stomach return as you moved and started to recall everything. "You're up?" You faced the door as you saw a girl walk in. She was almost 5'5", probably in her early twenties, had short brown hair and wore a hoodie that was down to her knees. "You were pretty bad." She said bringing the soup in "Crappy ex or an intruder? Didn't look much like an intruder so I'm going to go with crappy ex." You looked at her as she took a spoon of soup and brought it to your mouth "I'm not great at making soup so I got the ready-made ones..." you quietly drank the soup "What's your name little one?" You asked her "I'm not little! I'm twenty-one! And my name is Miya, just Miya" she said as she kept the empty bowl to the side "And you Miss?" She asked. You both spoke for a while and you realized Miya didn't have a job and lived to pickpocket. You took her in and helped her and showed her your gratitude for saving your life.

~END OF FLASHBACK~

"After I became more conscious I bandaged my wound up and got it treated." You lied. You didn't want anyone to know you took in Miya. Especially the guy who left you to bleed, to die. He did not deserve to know what happened to you after he ran away. You got up from the seat implying the conversation you had was over. "Y/n, please..." Geto held your hand which you immediately pulled away "Don't touch me." You said looking at him with eyes that could pierce his heart. "I love you, Y/n. I always have! Ever since I met you and I've fallen harder!" "Are you fucking kidding me right now? You? In love with me? Have you lost your fucking brain cells?" "Please, Y/n. Give me another chance!" You looked at him disappointed and walked out of the cafe. He followed you "Please! If not another chance at least let me explain myself!" "Explain yourself or lie to me more?" You stopped and turned to look at him, tears falling uncontrollably off his face. He looked pathetic. He looked like you when you were dying two years back. "Y-Y/n..." "Fine. Just give me your address." You say giving him a pocket notebook. He wasted no time and wrote the address "I'll be there." You said and walked off. That evening you stood in front of his house and knocked on the door. "You made it!" He said with a warm smile as he let you in. "Please sit..." "Sure. Start explaining." You said not wasting any time. "I-I was fascinated by your stories, they said you were unstoppable. Many people who tried to kill you died by you. I wanted to be the first one to kill you." "You got close." "But I couldn't. I fell in love with you, Y/n. You made me happy. You showed me happiness that I couldn't find anywhere else." "But you still tried." "I-I wanted to kill you before you left for good. I'm sorry but my life is meaningless without you!" "You said you loved me, I made you happy, there's no one like me but yet you STABBED ME and left me to DIE! You ran away like a coward! You were scared! You made me FALL for you, Sug- Geto!" Geto held your waist and pulled you closer and cupped your face with his free hand, oh how you missed his touch, the way he caresses your cheek to calm you down. "Please don't hurt more. I'm sorry!" He said under his breath. He lifted your chin and locked eyes with you, your lips were not even an inch away from his. "Give me another chance, Y/n." He said and he kissed you, you kissed back giving him your approval. You pulled back and looked at him, his unreadable eyes were now filled with mixed emotions. "Do you know what a Siren is?" You said pulling him to the bed on top of you. "A siren is a beautiful creature who lures sailors to their death." Geto said as he kissed your neck "When a Siren lets a Sailor go, do you know what that means?" You said holding his head "It means the Siren fell in love?" Geto asked moving the kisses to your lips. "No, it means she's saving her meal for later..." "What do you me-" Geto's eyes widened as he felt something sharp sink into his abdomen. "It means, A Siren will never let you go the next time." It all came to Geto, he finally got it. He messed with the wrong woman. "Now... you said your heart is broken into pieces right?" You said pulling out the knife from him making him scream from pain. "Let's see if it's true but remember Geto, I loved you but you took my love for granted." You caressed his cheek as he winced in pain "Never forget, a Siren's Song never ends" And with that, you pierced the knife into his heart as you kissed him one last time and felt the life from his body leave. You got up and grabbed your phone and called Miya "Please clean up the mess." "Roger that" with that, you hung up and walked out of the room "Suguro, I got us Kikufuku! Let's ea-" you both stood there staring at each other as the bag from Gojo's hand drop. "You-You're the Siren?"

For part (iii) and part (iv)

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[wokestraightpuffy]

Hallo, i hope you are alright and that my ask aren’t annoying but I wanted to ask do you have any c!puffy headcannons? —🤡

YOURE NOT ANNOYING AT ALL !!! NEVER THINK THAT ILU VERY MUCH. MUAH /p

as for c!puffy headcanons, i am not the best person to ever organize their thoughts properly but ill try my best >:’D

ahaha. this got. super complex and way too long and more of like an introspective study to puffy now instead of harmless fun headcanons so, uh. under read more <3 (also reminder this is all /rp and /dsmp)

* i like to think that she has a hero complex, but its a bit different since she never really sees herself as an ‘important’ part of the story, not the main character but a support one, hence ‘im fine with being the side character’ or how she’s said she doesnt care what happens to her and would gladly sacrifice(?) herself if there werent other people she had to protect. girl u need therapy urself <3

* though very open with how she feels and never afraid to say when someone/something is upsetting her, ‘opening up’ is still a whole mountain climb for her, apparently. like, she’d rant about the egg, get mad at the eggpire, let off some steam by committing arson or exploding stuff, she’ll rarely ever talk about how much the stuff that upset her actually HURT her. does that make sense? LIKE, she’ll lash out, she’ll get mad, she’ll take NO SHIT thrown at her face, but to show the kinda vulnerability of dealing with that? to cry about it talk about those feelings with someone? I think she’d rather eat her own foot lol

* adding onto the thing above, she doesnt necessarily actually realize this about herself. less of actively doing it and rather growing... used to the ‘cycle of violence’ in the smp as they call it. and the fact that rarely have people really asked, that no one’s actually available for that, w her losing her closest friends, bad and ant, sam being busy w the warden stuff... and niki. yeah. there’s foolish, but i doubt she’d ever see venting to someone she considers her son appealing

* also. puffy is just sometimes... really bad at conveying sadness. i think she’s a rare crier. id go as far to say that shes even more emotionally constipated than dream, lol (but maybe not while the guy’s in his prison arc) and that she’d be the type of person to tell you its okay to cry but beat herself up over something if she let a tear slip in a heated moment

* speaking of sadness. she’ll only ever actually Be Sad if she’s alone or with someone she doesnt necessarily care the opinions of. yknow how she mourned for tommy and blamed herself? those dialogue bits? yeah, those are only times shed actually be vulnerable

* puffy’s go to response to the egg and how its fucked up her relationship w her friends is pure fury. but, going off of her line about ‘failing bad and ant’ i like to think that she probably hates herself the most about it. THAT IS A STRONG WORD LOL BUT YEAH. she yells and curses and gets mad, but sometimes i wonder if the words she had spat before were more directed to herself

* THIS GIRL HAS SELF-IDENTITY PROBLEMS. CAN WE GET A HELL YEAH FOR THAT CHAT? outside of having no goddamn clue about where she came from, how she got here and who she even is, scrounging up a role for herself in a server with a war on the background and traumatized kids got her resignedly coerced into thinking that she is only a Parent. Only good enough when she’s actually doing something Useful for people. SO. when she finds that ship? of having a crew and having a curse? OF FINDING OUT SHE MIGHT HAVE/ HAVE HAD A MOM THATS WAITING FOR HER?  the sense of control she has on herself is absolutely crushed. shattered, and she’s left to pick up the pieces w no one to talk abt it with <3

* adding onto the above, it’s why the line ‘I’m supposed to be mama puffy. me.’ hurts me so much! so yes! please cry with me :D

* also to add more on the fact that she thinks she’s only worth something when she’s being useful, puffy literally contemplated leaving the server, thinking that it wouldnt matter leaving since no one really needs her anyway, since she’s failed so many people. bad and ant, tommy, dream. shes said how foolish can take care of himself on how tubbo and ranboo have each other, how she and niki have drifted so far away from each that it might as well be a break up.

HOOOOOOOOOO OBOY . anon youve really given me the perfect chance to ramble huh? sorry for the rather incomprehensible brainrot, here’s more lighthearted headcanons about puffy asdhfkd

* she cannot stand still sometimes. she always has to be doing something extra, walking when the prime path is right there? shed rather go through tedious little holes or hop and balance onto fences to get where shes going. she’ll mindlessly fix up the path when there are holes or mismatched wood, and one time went on a long, long LONG journey cleaning up the paths tommy purposely DESTROYED near lmanburg and even added cobblestone sidings which werent there before

* puffys a bit of a sentimental person. writing in her log to clear her thoughts sometimes and cared enough to try and preserve lmanburg with the glass sheet and trying to find possible surviving artifacts of history to respect it, even though she’s never been a part of it. its also why, when doomsday happened and lmanburg got permanently poofed, she began to appreciate the buildings that are still standing and began taking more pics 

* she’s not used to being... what do you call it, um, cared for? she’d deflect compliments sometimes, when shes having a particular bad day, like, she’d laugh nervously and change the subject, sometimes she’d outright deny it, most days she’d jokingly say ‘staphhh it’ and add a very genuine thanks. my point being is, do something for puffy that is mildly nice and she’d keep that moment in her heart forever. 

* also funny story regarding the above. u know how karl is notorious for stealing her materials? and how puffy was contemplating doing something in retaliation for them? karl says hi for once when she joins the server and she goes ‘alright fine youre safe for saying hi’ LOL THIS WAS PROBABLY A BIT META WISE but something about this implying that the bare minimum or LESS is enough to make puffy forgive someone is very sad and funny at the same time for me. girl really said ‘oh you said hi to me? thats nice all the crimes youve ever done towards me is now forgiven. <3’ (this is a bit of an exaggeration on my part, ofc, i just think its funny LMAO) 

* ironically, despite being the ‘captain’, whenever riding a boat with someone, she prefers being on the backseat and letting them drive. ig shes just there for the ride i suppose, her and her uber drivers :3

 * she either has a rather unhealthy obsession with baked potatoes or she just doesnt wanna waste eret’s massive potato farm

* idc what cc!puffy says is c!puffy will always and forever be 5′2″ in my HEART. u are the shortest member, u cannot change this <3

* shes really fond of animals/ neutral mobs. she often baby talks to them and they help boost her mood a lot when shes having a bad day :D

* up to this day, the little secret rooms she’s created around the server have all been yet to be discovered, unless the one under bad’s house has been found. she rarely ever really keeps tabs on them, and more often than not they are just collecting dust. she still visits sometimes and cleans them up ofc

* she still genuinely thinks dream can change. cc!puffy’s line about that, ‘i’m his last hope.’ really makes me think about this a lot. 

* ive seen people talk abt it a bit but the headcanon that puffy acts as the server mom to fill the ‘void’ of her missing her mom makes me cry at night /hj

* she really likes her rainbow onesie! i headcanon that eret gave her that along w the sunglasses, but she started wearing that less when she found her old captains uniform. shes never really said why, though, and nobody ever really bothered to ask

* god bless this woman but sometimes the server members get on her nerves sometimes so she goes out of her way to traverse along far away from the main community to maybe commit a few crimes. let off some steam. these take a few days but she always returns

i probably have a lot more hcs but i cant remember them >_> THIS IS A LOT ANYWAY. HOPE U ENJOYED MY BRAIN VOMIT. IF U READ THIS FAR ILU THANK U

if there are mistakes it is bc i am crying and cannot see my keyboard and also i am sleep deprived /hj