#ive seen less gay things from actual lesbian characters

[three-bunnies-in-a-trenchcoat]

This is like. Fucking gay.

[vintage-bentley]

thanks for such a thurough reply ive loved ur page for a reallyyyy long time!!! also yes frankly ive found some m/m authors who i know wont pull that stuff bc they write long form and have already established early on that its actually gay so like idk people say im a fake lesbian for mostly reading m/m but its not even smut so like not to delve into gold star discourse but does yaoi fluff really take away the gold star lmfao

You’re welcome, and thank you! 💖💖

I’ve fallen out of reading fanfiction, mostly because I’ve been burned by it too many times. Even the authors I figured I could trust to not be sexist or homophobic would have some stupid line snuck in that feels like a way to say “don’t worry, everyone, I’m a follower of genderism!”. But I’m always happy for ladies who’ve managed to find things that work for them!

I think it’s really stupid to assume that a lesbian is actually straight or bi because she enjoys M/M content. I find that lesbians are held under such scrutiny with every single thing we do, in a way that gay men are not. For example, if a gay man stans Lady Gaga, nobody assumes that he’s actually bi/straight and is attracted to her. But if a lesbian stans some male celebrity or character, it’s assumed that she wants to fuck him. Which is very insulting to women, this idea that we’d only pay attention to a celeb/character if we want to fuck them. Because it implies that we’re not capable of just enjoying somebody’s artistry, or the complexity of a character the same way men are.

Personally, I’m not watching or reading things just to be horny? Okay, I’ll admit to sometimes rewatching First Kill just so I can thirst over Elinor lol, but that’s not the only reason I watch it. I genuinely love the show, the hot evil woman is just a bonus. There’s so much more to experiencing a work than just being attracted to the people/characters in it. And again, I think it’s incredibly offensive when people imply that women aren’t capable of experiencing that full range of emotions and thoughts—that our interest must start and end at sexual attraction.

And all of this applies to fanfiction. I’m just focusing on the person aspect because like I said, I haven’t read fanfiction in a long while.

Now, are there women in fandom who call themselves lesbians but clearly aren’t? Absolutely, and they drive me crazy. But it’s not just because they’re reading M/M fan fiction. It’s because they’re posting about how much they want to fuck some guy because “he’s my one exception!”. In that case, I’d hope we can all agree that that is not a lesbian. Or on the slightly less obnoxious side, they’re talking about male celebs/characters in a way that clearly shows they’re coming from a place of sexual attraction (I’ve actually seen this in particular more from self-proclaimed “asexual” women than self-proclaimed “lesbians”. They claim they’re some form of “aspec”, then start raving about a man the same way a straight or bi woman would. Nothing wrong with that, but be honest with yourselves ffs).

But if you’re just reading M/M fan fiction because you’re invested in male characters and want to see them happy? That has nothing to do with sexuality. And anyone who claims it does needs to reassess why they believe that women are so shallow that we can’t enjoy anything that we aren’t horny over.

[demadogs]

Hi! I'm a huge fan of slow burns too. Do you have any recommendations of tv shows with good slow burn romances? (straight or gay) I find them sooo hard to find and I don't understand why lol, they're the best!

i can think of some good book slow burns but yeah for tv shows byler is by far the slowest burn ive ever come across. the ones i can think of are actually sitcoms which are fun and all but i love more dramatic plots like stranger things. but new girl is definitely one, the good place, and brooklyn nine nine. all of those are straight couples but still very great shows. but again, not nearly as slow of a burn as byler. im trying to think of a show with a less comedic tone and a gay ship thats as slow of a burn as byler and i truly cant think of any. maybe thats why i love byler so much. no other show that ive seen has done this with a gay couple.

not sure if youre a reader but theres some good slow burn books i can recommend. all of these are gay.

carry on is fantastic. this is the kinda slow burn where they dont even interact until over 100 pages in but its SO good god i love it.

seven husbands of evelyn hugo. this ones kinda all over the place like you may read it and once you get to a certain part youll be like “this wasnt a slow burn?” but its a slow burn to finally get to their happy ending if that makes sense. great book.

criers war/iron heart. this is a great lesbian fantasy slow burn that i dont see that many people talk about. its a cool rendition of enemies to lovers because one character considers the other her enemy for reasons that the other isnt aware of. so its like a half enemies to lovers but its really good and a really interesting story aside from the romance. its about this world where there are people and the automa and the automa are basically AI that the humans are at war with. crier’s an automa and the other character ayla is human.

red white and royal blue. honestly not thaaat slow a burn but i really like the lead up to it. this is a great book. i hope the movie does it well.

if anybody can think of other slow burn shows that are as slow as byler (preferably gay) let me know.

[kideternity]

maxwell mfin dillon

Mister lightning himself….

-Overall opinion of them: Completely unironically one of the most important characters in the history of planet earths existence to me. Ive liked him since I was 7 years old for over 10 years and I will keep liking him for over 10 years! Extremely under-utilised and under appreciated spider man villain. Literally cream of the crop to me. My oldest friend. Sometimes I get a little embarrassed that I care so much but when I remember there are people who like characters that are 100000000000000x times more embarrassing and I don’t feel bad anymore and who cares anyways. He's my guy!

– Gender/sexuality headcanons: Like Noriko Admittedly I think Max across any version can also just like encompass basically every queer identity imaginable (Insert here “Characters who are gay men and lesbians”) BUT to me- Bisexual because he like, already basically is lol or at least heavily implied to be in comics and nonbinary trans man + arospec

– Favorite moment in canon: SOOO many so once again like Shroud I will just list them off in a like greatest hits sort of way but- That one time he crashed Peter's tv interview to call him a bitch ass motherfucker cunt on live tv and walk away from it unscathed laughing. All of the interactions and fights with Daredevil but especially the issue where Max amidst having a mental breakdown keeps calling Matt shit like baby and cute. W@id is a cunt bitch irredeemable asshole but I also did genuinely like the stuff about Max REALLY passionately getting into socialism. UHMM that one story where Fucking Magneto comes up to Max and asks him to join the brotherhood of evil mutants and Max said NO 😭😭😭😭 also Basically all of Max's scenes in “Light the night!” From 90s Spider-man #38-40. Even more so all of Max's scenes in ASM1964 issues 422-423 and ESPECIALLY 425. Okay im good

-Favorite moment in a fanwork: UHMMMMMMMM Im blanking on specific people but I've liked a lot of fan art I've seen over the years especially some of the redesigns…… Some of the fics were pretty good too and that i've enjoyed… yeah

–Favorite line, in canon or otherwise: “SO RESPONSIBILITY IS YOUR THING, HUH? THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE HUNG UP ON, RIGHT? WELL, YOU CAN TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR THIS!”

– Characters I love seeing them interact with: IDK if I necessarily actually LIKE seeing Max and Peter interact usually but they like absolutely drive me fucking crazy insane bonkers batshit when I DO think about them. Literally on my hands and my knees asking for any writer ever to actually further their relationship in a meaningful way. I think I’m the only person with this take too but I actually fucking love the Daredevil vs Electro issues I think they have a hilarious dynamic HHRFUHFDUDJD Max uhmmm doesn’t have really positive relationships with other villains but I like it when he gets along with Sandman Flint and they should do more with that (: also IDC IDC but they should have done morewith the Magneto connection it woulda been funny. Also Noriko + Max should be besties and so should Max + Eric ant man

-Last thing before sleeping headcanons: man's made of electricity he don’t need to godamn sleep

– Sleeping habits headcanons: okay well to contradict my last point I think he doesn’t need to sleep but he does sleep anyways. Because it makes him feel less existential over his state of existence

– First thing after waking up headcanons: eat batteries and smoke cigarettes

– Favorite locations headcanon: honest to god don’t think Max has ever actually liked anywhere he's ever been in canon but if I were to wager a guess probably just anywhere with strong electrical currents running about- like concerts, power plants, clubs, arcades, etc. I don’t think he's picky but he’s just never one to get attached either

[relaxxattack]

wait omg what are the canon endgame wof pairings you DON'T like? 👀 no pressure of course, im just not a fan of several of them either and im interested to hear what you think :]

honestly most of them?? like idk 😭

ripnami for one is just odd to me. like i don’t dislike riptide but there’s an age difference and a like, immediate love type thing, and the romance is just sorta Boring and Annoying imo?? maybe that’s just cuz im gay though

starflights whole debacle was ATROCIOUS. like i understand why he mightve had a crush on sunny— she was like one of the only other people he knew growing up— but they were all essentially adopted siblings and she obviously felt platonically towards him? and then fatespeaker was brought in, and one part of fans hated her for replacing sunny cuz they shipped sunnyflight, another group of fans hated her for obviously being practically written AS a sunny replacement, and then the last third just fiercely loved her out of spite. so like. starspeaker is Cute, sure, but it just feels like a weird work around to the supreme awkwardness of sunnyflight.

clay and peril? ehhh. clay seems like, SO aromantic to me, so that’s one reason i dont like it, and the other is just. peril as a character always felt like she was handled weirdly. like im not sure if she was a good concept poorly executed, or a bad concept that sort of followed itself through well, but either way my feelings on her constantly go back and forth. i get that she’s probably just like, genuinely mentally ill, but i don’t think the author really represented it too well? but at the same time, i don’t think i’m one to talk on the rep of people like that. (is sociopath the right word??? i literally don’t even know). basically it bothers me how she swings from like. yandere to hilarious older sister character. i love her, but i also feel weird about her. she’s like a girboss in a bad way.

glorybringer… okay theyre really cute, it’s just their development feels a little silly to me. then again, it’s a children’s book. also there’s an age difference, although idk how much that counts for dragons??

moonbli: i hate moonbli okay. they dumped qinter— one of the Only Well Developed Ships— for moonbli. ive ranted before about how much i hate the winter-qibli-moon love triangle, but GOD it’s so bad. like— in book six, moon is fascinated by both the boys. winter treats her like shit, but she can hear that in his thoughts he actually thinks she’s incredible. qibli is nice to her, but he’s like, super sus for some reason. moon actually TELLS DS that she doesn’t like either of them, but she Must pick one because her futures say so? like UM??? (she’s aromantic but denying herself or something) meanwhile in the winter pov book he’s absolutely tortured by guilt and his abusive family, so eventually he breaks off to find moon because he feels bad for treating her bad cuz he’s in love with her. also they have some Moments together. then in qiblis book, he’s also in love with moon, but spends the entire book bonding and flirting with his roommate winter! who is no longer an asshole now that he’s broken off from his family. moon is busy hanging out with some 2000 year old guy who attempted literal genocide, but it’s okay because he’s sad. anyway after like 200 pages of flirting, winter and qibli meet up with moon again and they’re happy because they’re both in love with her or something. except winter is upset because moon is defending the guy who tried to genocide his race and is going to do it again. moon and qibli decide this makes winter the biggest asshole in the entire world, abandon him, and then defeat DS together without him. then moon decides she “chooses” qibli and moonbli becomes canon and they leave winter in some random ass town. like? WHAT THE FUCK??? and we’re supposed to enjoy the moonbli ship :|

like no fuck off and PLEASE give us aromantic moon and mlm qinter please. THERE ARE NO CANON MLM RELATIONSHIPS. and im not just saying this cuz im a gay guy, like qinter legitimately had so much good development throughout arc two and then they get dropped like a hot potato

and then finally we have… whats left, turtlejou? i could take it or leave it ig. too much weird magic stuff there. i would actually maybe prefer turtle and peril just because they’re Actually Friends and their dynamic in book 8 was cool and way less creepy then cleril.

sundew and willow? they're cute but ive seen the mean lesbian and nice lesbian trope many times and they just didn’t pull it off too well. still better then 90% of the ships here though.

SORRY THIS GOT SO LONG I HAD A LOT MORE TO SAY THEN I REALIZED…. IF THIS SOUNDS AGGRESSIVE ITS AIMED AT THE AUTHOR NOT AT YOU ANON

[gaylonelydyke]

15 Questions to get to know me better!

I was tagged by @gaykagome thankyou frend Q_Q

1. What is your favourite food/beverage?

fav food: garlic bread!!!!! and omg especially the dominos garlic bread pizza, that is pheNOMINAL, and then fav beverage: grape juice! i am that person who pretends im drinking blood whenever i have it

2. What is your favourite fandom [currently]?  

the buffy fandom! im shocked at how much of a thriving fandom there is after so many years but im so glad there is one, everyones so smart and amazing (atleast who im following) and it just makes me so happy to see how many people are enjoying it to this day!!!! buffy is that show!!!!!

3. What shows are you watching [currently]?  

rwby!!!!!!! for elmer <3 and lowkey im loving it, and then i suppose its not a show show but im always in the process of rewatching exandria unlimited

4. What’s your strength?  

im a good bullshit sniffer!

5. What’s your weakness?  

just. so many things.

6. Pet peeves?  

ever since i was a kid i get second hand embarrassment whenever the audience starts clapping along to a performance, and esPECIALLY when they start clapping out of time and they throw it all off

7. What’s your ideal type?  

someone who puts in the effort and makes me feel seen and loved Q_Q being able to talk about nerdy shit is always a plus aswell but its not a must

8. The last food you ate?  

oh shit this just reminded me that i brought two chocolate mousses upstairs to eat coz theyre going out of date soon and i forgot about them and showered KAJHSDFJSKFA, ANYWAY, last food i ate was mcdonalds chicken nugget ^-^

9. Favourite animes?  

SAILOR MOON!!!!!!! could scream for years about sailor moon, then yuri on ice!!! attack on titan, and i fully acknowledge all the terrible shit in it i am aware that i am the problem here im sorry, and also i havent watched all of it yet but im LOVING rwby so ill put that down too!

10. Regular pastimes/Hobbies?  

playing sims, drawing, rn ive been writing fanfic a lot, and also playing skyrim!!!

11. Favourite characters?  

*robbie daymond voice* dOrian stOrm (my beloved) from exandria unlimited, giles from buffy Q_Q (my DAD), howl from howls moving castle (gender anyone?), and daphne from scooby doo! my wife :D

12. All-time favourite show?  

last year i wouldve said shadowhunters but buffy may have surpassed it! its everything i liked from shadowhunters but so much better, actual good writing and less annoying characters, and also lesbians??? AMAZING, both buffy and sailor moon have really shocked me with the amount of gay (specifically lesbian) rep they have in them!!! both 90s shows and theyre doing better than gay media today (shadowhunters also has amazing gay rep!!!!)

13. What are you doing right now?

trying to drink my way through about 5 cans of cider so i can throw the cans out before my parents find them ://///

14. How are you? (sob)  

a bit stressed innit, unis coming up and suddenly its feeling very real and scary, and also my body doesnt agree with alcohol so while i wouldnt say i feel nauseous, i dont feel gOOD

15. Favourite rest-time activities? 

god idk, stressing out over nothing, watching buffy, thinking about dorian storm <3 my beloved, sleeping :)

tagging: @sewingcircuits , @gayrightspippin , @souppippin and anyone else whod like to do this! also u guys dont have to do this its chill but if u want to o.o (im on my laptop now hence the keyboard emojis)

[genshinconfessions]

As a Beidou main who spent time cross-referencing her lines with other characters' lines and talked to her crew in the boat and that NPC from her crew in the thunder sakura introducing event, I could never get into beiguang and am even less under the illusion that they adopted kazuha. The shippers see the beiguang interaction in the event quest as Lover's Quarell but it confirmed to me that Beidou repeatedly draws lines between her and Ningguang and says "this is as far as our relationship 1/8

full confession:

As a Beidou main who spent time cross-referencing her lines with other characters' lines and talked to her crew in the boat and that NPC from her crew in the thunder sakura introducing event, I could never get into beiguang and am even less under the illusion that they adopted kazuha. The shippers see the beiguang interaction in the event quest as Lover's Quarell but it confirmed to me that Beidou repeatedly draws lines between her and Ningguang and says "this is as far as our relationship will ever go."

Beidou is a frank, honest speaker, it's the reason why Ningguang trusts her and they are friends but it could never become romantic in nature. She says she's good friends with Ganyu but she stays away because it would be bad for her job and reputation to associate with her so they are secretly friends, despite you this she tells you this honestly and doesn't lie about it. Just tells you to hush. In similar fashion, Ganyu gets mad at the people in Yujing Terrace for badmouthing the Crux Fleet. The Crux Fleet that Beidou built from its roots whose people she cares so much about that she adopts one of their kids when the parents who were members of her fleet died on an expedition. The kid don't even say that his parents were in the Alcor (the ship Beidou is on, her flagship that she spends the most time on).

It was even further confirmed by Kazuha's line about her- she wouldn't have ever helped out the resistance without Kazuha's blessing/agreement, even if helping out the common people is one of her defining motivations- ("I've been through some rough times. When I was a child we had little money, so nothing to eat, and lived for many years by stealing off people's fruit trees. Even after I got my own ship, I was cast out by pompous merchants, but me telling you such stories are merely for your own amusement. I have no intention of making you live through it too" -Beidou's Friendship V line, "You wanna know why I help the common fold? Why not? Everyone has their low-points in life. I don't really do anything other than steer those who are truly lost towards a brighter future." -About Beidou IV) and with all these things about the fleet, the people in Yujing Terrace badmouth her and her crew. Do you think Beidou would stand for badmouthing her crew? Ningguang doesn't say anything about this gossip nor does she dispell them, when Keqing says that despite her rule breaking, the reason people badmouth her is because Beidou rubs people the wrong way.

You could say that Ningguang turned a blind eye because Beidou was doing some of the illegal things out of altruism but, romantic Beiguang could never work from the issues listed. Especially since there were already rumors that Beidou is a pawn for the liyue qixing that she has repeatedly tried to disprove. I'd much rather ship Beidou with Furong, the NPC in her ship who actually has feelings for her, who respects her and yet chooses not to say anything because of being in the closet and having feelings for her captain/boss, or Ganyu who actually gets mad about the Crux getting badmouthed on account of being secretly friends with Beidou.

Even in Moonchase Festival, Beidou was still drawing a line in the sand between her and Ningguang and having seen what mihoyo would write if they intended for 2 lesbians or gays to be a couple even if onesided (refer to Xingqiu in the same event or in honkai, Kallen/Sakura and Kiana/Mei who explicitly express their feelings who don't say I love you but then hold hands, live together for 4+ years, say being with their s/o gives them the strength of a hundred people, that depending on EN/JP/CN language the world means nothing without the other/that compared to the world the other is much more important/that if they had to choose between the other and the world they'd choose the other.), a frank speaker like Beidou would've said something more positive if they were meant to be read as such.

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- katheryne from liyue

[i-did]

hi hello i couldn't sleep last night so i was scrolling thru all ur asks and stuff and ur opinions and analyses are so interesting!!! and then afterwards i was thinking about what u were saying about mlm smut and i'd also been thinking about such things a little bit recently bc like.....at a certain point it becomes quite clear that the vast majority of smut-writing is just imitation. like there's the sex noise verb list and all and the whole general mechanics of the sex and those things just .... replicate over and over. and the whole thing w people writing mlm vs wlw smut regardless of their own sexual orientation..... like i feel like a big part of that is just a self-perpetuating thing. like if u have not had sex and u r getting all ur (pleasure-related) sex ed from fandom (even if u do watch porn, that doesn't rlly tell u how to describe stuff? idk) regardless of What fandom , the majority is going to be mlm smut. which is itself majority imitation of other mlm smut, imitating and imitating back to whoever knows what the first smut fanfic was etc. there's just way More to mimic than there is on the women side of things. which then becomes a self-perpetuating thing, bc the mimicry continues and generates more and more. and---if there are fundamental misunderstandings of anatomy involved---those self-perpetuate as well. and maybe even exaggerate. and yeah. does this all make sense? idk i was just thinking about it. like all the stereotypes and stuff continue bc writers are getting their inspo from other writers rather than their own brains. or something. idk!!!!! it's just all... divorced from reality? bc words. or something!! i hope u get what i'm trying to say. just thoughts i've been thinking. anyway i think ur thoughts are cool. and ur writing. ok bye have a good day!!

Okay yeah this is kinda messy but hope u see this, uhh yeah I think you're right about the echo chamber effect fr about stuff. I think it's a mix of projecting too sometimes. talk more under the cut and also link to a video essay since I love video essays.

Here’s a video that sort of touches on this topic: 

“Gay fanfiction” by Sarah Z. (has CC)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H8E_C00dKwI

This video begins to talk about fetishization at the end, but also… not really. The words “gay fanfiction” is used as a catchall, when really gay fanfiction is largely mlm written by non-mlm.

Fandom is a largely women's space dominated by the female gaze in a media industry world that is dominated by men and the male gaze. I'm really glad women have this space to explore creativity and queerness, and I don't expect the female gaze to go away, but I am still ultimately bummed out I can’t read most fanfic or interact with most fandom spaces without having fetishization in my face. 

So about 80% of fandom is women, and most of those women aren't straight, but 90% of those women prefer mlm ships. Why don’t they prefer wlw ships? Well definitely part of it is the fact that queerbaiting is centered around white straight men, and then there is also the fact that women tend not to be written as well charcter wise. But the fact still remains that you get jerjean getting priority over Layla and Alvarez who are in canon just as much and are a canon wlw couple who actually interact as well as Alvarez could likely be a woc because of her Hispanic last name. Korasami doesn’t get nearly as much hype as zuko and saka, despite the fact that they are 2 fully dimensional characters who canonly kiss and hold hands, something the creators fought for and ended up having to sacrifice another reboot for. 

I do believe the fandom echo-chamber is largely responsible for… a lot of things, like you're saying. But what's interesting is that the complaints I've heard about visual porn from non mlm in the fandom space is that they can’t get off to it because its for the male gaze and misogynistic usually. But they also don't seem to notice how the mlm smut circles has the female gaze and is also… almost always mlm. If it was a pure anatomical not knowing thing, I get that, but I also think that leads to the question of “then why the male body for porn, and not your own? The one you know and are familiar with?” 

I know some people want to get outside of their own body for porn and don’t want to think of their own anatomy at all, but overall I'm still uncomfortable. If an anglo said “well I watch porn of only Mexicans so I don't self insert” I'm gonna be like … hhhh in a similar way. I understand people “like what they like” but I wish they also noticed said patterns in the first place. I understand the t4t tumblr porn circle, and how it's different from cis people who only watch trans porn. 

I actually wished that instead of fandom focusing on mlm ships where some asshole guy hits on bottom troupe charcter for top troupe character to save, was instead… a wlw character experiencing said shitty getting hit on and other wlw swooping in. what's interesting is fandom writes a lot about misogynistic experiences without often realizing it. Ive read fanfic where guys get called sluts for sleeping with people or called bitch for speaking their mind, these arent things men usually experience, but rather women. Fandom has a lot of internalized misogyny and also queerphobia imo. Women characters often get pushed to the sidelines and men become the canvas for female fans to project onto. 

There is this natural inclination to mlm. When people are talking about “gay shipping” or “gay books” or “gay feels” or even just “gay” mlm is what’s largely in mind. I honestly am kinda saddened by this because if gay fanfiction was really solely about writing more to feel represented, then you would see a lot of bi and ace and lesbian rep, but this isn't the case. Queer women are seriously underrepresented, and I want to hear their stories and read them in fanfiction as well as published. 50% of lgbt literature is mlm, and of that its largely written by women. Becky Albertalli, Rainbow Rowell, Maggie Stiefvater, are the YA big names and are all women writing mlm. Red white and royal blue is written by Casey McQuiston and Captive prince (which is not YA) is written by C. S. Pacat, who is non-binary, but is also TME and not mlm. These are all the big names in mlm lit, behind them is some gay men, but honestly their stories aren't preferred, they're not the right “flavor” for the consumers usually, who are largely women. In general YA consumers and authors are women, but I wish that they… just wrote about women too. I think there is a certain… snowball effect to the overrepresentation of mlm representing the whole LGBT community that leads to fetishization, as well as misogyny playing a factor in: less women characters being written well to write fanfic on, when they are written well they're taken less seriously or the audience struggles to relate to them, they're less marketable then men. 

Idk I never feel “seen” or “represented” by any of the books above, which don't address boyhood and manhood and queerness intersecting really, and AFTG doesn’t either. I relate to AFTG as a trauma victim who has experienced a lot of what many of the characters go through and have gone through in the EC as well as them just overall being very well written characters, but I don't relate to it as a mlm really. I've never seen like.. gay voice or being straight passing or femphobia or how boyhood can be affected from a young age by those around you sensing you're ‘other’ or if you didn't experience this you feel outside the mlm community. Let alone sub cultures like bear and leather and pup, at most you see the word “he's such a twink” in fandom which... i fr hate non mlm using that word because it's usually used to replace the f-slur essentially, used derogatorily or to call him “such a bottom” and stuff like that. It’s like a joke or an insult.

Long story short, idk mang this was a ramble and I think I'm coning down with something. I wanna see more queer women rep and women authors writing about being a queer woman too. I think it's a complex web of fetishization and a bit of forbidden love yaoi culture (or it used to be in the BOYXBOY days) as well as misogyny on an industry level, creator level, as well as reader/consumer and fandom level. I don’t think it’s inherently wrong to explore other peoples stories and what we read has to be segregated, “only mlm are allowed to read and write mlm, only wlw are allowed to read and write wlw,” but I also think author’s intent and audience and background is telling, as well as overall statistics. Like about an hour ago I was looking for cookbooks in spanish or in english, and I was looking for some mexican food cook books, but I had to look for them using words in spanish because otherwise what came up was a bunch of “fiesta party, easy as uno dos tres authentic cooking!” and I was like… hm. Since I could tell they were marketing to anglos. (also the author’s last names were like michelle smith, james cooper, and this could be for a variety of reasons, but I trust Hispanic names more tbh and deadass would look at the authors pictures and if they had other books in Spanish or what their specialties were.)

anyways. not sure how to end this. uhm if anyone has any book recs (my to read list is like 500 books tho no joke) preferably not YA white mlm written by a white lady, hopefully queer women written by queer woman, LMK, I need more wlw and queer women stories on my list. I have a decent amount but always looking for more. I kinda wanna link my goodreads or my storygraph but I also don't want to get doxxed and it has my legal name on it so.

Also, I'm dyslexic and using spell check but if there's like some wild typos my b.

[winepresswrath]

okay ik ppl can ship whoever they want and i usually don't mind but...it kinda irks me when the fandom ships wen qing and yanli bc like. yanli is in love with zixuan!!! he loves her back!!! they're married!!! they have a kid!!! (and no im not gonna use past tense it hurts too much) what part of this is hard to understand???? like ive seen ppl get pressed when someone ships a canonically gay character with someone of the opposite sex (and i get that it's because they feel they're trying to "normalise" them by making them straight) so why do ppl do the same with straight characters?

Aw, anon, I feel you on the xuanli shipping but a) I think you’ve come to the wrong place because I’m also plenty fond of Yanli/Wen Qing (qingli? yanqing? i’m a multishipper and i can’t help myself) and b) there’s a pretty big difference between depicting or imagining characters who have canonically been in relationships with and experienced attraction to members of the opposite sex in queer relationships and portraying gay characters in relationships with people of the opposite sex. For one thing, there’s nothing in canon that tells us Yanli isn’t a bi woman who just happens to be in a relationship with a dude in canon. Shipping her with Wen Qing isn’t actually any different from shipping her with Mingjue or Xichen. People are sometimes going to look at a canon ship and be like “but what if” no matter how good that ship is.

More importantly, there’s a lot of baggage surrounding the depiction of queer people in media that is pretty directly and unpleasantly related to the fact that many straight people still think that a) we shouldn’t exist and b) they have a right to pretend we don’t that is being violated every time we hold hands in public or write ourselves into stories or their fellow straight people, looking at the world around them and then seeking to depict that world in their art, include us rather than airbrushing us out for their convenience. Writing gay characters as straight isn’t bad because it normalizes the character, it’s bad because it contributes to a homophobic culture that tells queer people, and gay and lesbian people in particular, that their existence is somewhere between evil and an imposition, and they’re abnormal or depraved or just going through a phase and one day they’ll meet the right person and settle down to live heterosexually ever after.

There is a tendency in fandom to declare that female characters who, in canon, are depicted as being in love with or attracted to men are lesbians, and I am very sympathetic to the generalized exhaustion with he was a boy/she was a girl relationships, compulsory heterosexuality, and the general lack of lesbian representation that I think underlies a lot of that impulse. I personally am basically always exhausted by comphet and want more queer women of all kinds in everything. I am nevertheless also occasionally a little frustrated with what sometimes feels less like a desire for more lesbian content and more an excuse to sideline female characters and declare shipping them with popular male characters off limits. I also get being frustrated by being told that a relationship you really like and enjoy and has lots of canon support is somehow bad or invalid. I fully support you in going forth with a xuanli OTP and refusing to consider any other options and being lowkey irritated that other people do not see the truth and the beauty and the light! But people who ship Yanli and Wen Qing are not doing anything wrong.

[historic-old-guard-lover]

The emperor has to be god-king Andy. Also like since nicky and Joe obv have to have the lovers why not have andy and quyhn kissing as the empress.

Another related ask (potentially by the same person):

Also since the fool is a journey's beginning I'd almost want to pick Nile for it. As well there are four characters who commonly have swords (or an axe but close enough) and cards have four corners. So one sword each corner, nicky, joe, andy, and quyhn.

So. Someone has good ideas. Here’s the post that prompted these asks. This made me pull out my tarot deck and go through the cards. Below the cut is a break down of the entire tarot deck. There will be an explanation of the (standard) interpretation of the cards, good then less good, and then my associated headcannon (or more than one if I couldn’t decide). The source is my experience with tarot. I’m trying to minimize repeats, but historic and modern Old Guard members are counted separately. Enjoy.

The Major Arcana (aka the cards most people have heard about)

0. The Fool - the seeker. Naivety. Courage. Living in the moment. Journey’s beginning. All paths available. Folly. Apathy.

Nile. Anon convinced me. Though Booker has got the folly, apathy, and madness down, Nile is ultimately the beginning. She’s naïve but headstrong, and quite frankly a perfect match.

I. The Magician - the trickster. Power, skill, talent. Mastery, self-control, willpower. Subtlety. Divine connection and inspiration. Self-reliant.

Modern Nicky. Definitely Nicky. Just. He’s a formerly very religious man who just says these things. Also sniper.

II. The High Priestess - the moon goddess. Intuition, wisdom, foresight, divination, prophecy. Enlightenment, understanding, intelligence, education. Pride, emotional instability, unforgiving.

Historic Quynh. Her name means “night-blooming flower”, which is very moon goddess vibes to me. Also, I’d say over 500 years in a box turns understanding and enlightenment into emotional instability and unforgiveness.

III. The Empress - the queen. Feminine power, matriarch, mother. Fertility, pleasure, beauty. Success, evolution, movement. Marriage, wealth. Overattachment, domestic upheaval, delay.

Quynh. The counterpart to Andy’s emperor card.

Nile. Let’s be honest, she’s going to take over from Andy some day.

IV. The Emperor - the king. Masculine power, patriarch, father. Authority, leadership, proficiency. Wealth, stability, effectiveness. Perseverance, logic, endurance, experience. Lack of ability, weak character, immature, rebellious.

Modern Andy. She is the leader who’s short-comings effect her entire team. And who doesn’t love a little gender bending? (and her film look is already soft butch)

V. The Hierophant - the religious leader. Tradition, convention, ritual symbolism. Ceremony, religion, morality, philosophy. Mercy, goodness, forgiveness, humility, vulnerability, Impotence, Religious tyranny.

Historic Nicky. I mean, former priest (enough said).

Historic Andy. “I was once worshipped as a god” (enough said).

VI. The Lovers - the lovers. Love, attraction. Compatibility, harmony, choice.  Triumph over trials, vacillation. Entanglement, enmeshment. Infidelity, moral lapse, vice, separation, quarrels, inadequacy, failing tests.

Andromaquynh. *peeks out from behind barricade* I know that most people would just put Kaysanova as this card, but look at all the negatives it is associated with. Sounds a lot more like our immortal wives can really cover the gamut. They have the range....I am a sucker for Kaysanova, though. Even though the beginning of their relationship is rocky, I’d like to think it’s been fairly constant over the years. But let’s reverse the uhaul lesbians and fickle gay men tropes! Sorry, Book of Nile fans. That ship just isn’t established enough for this, I’d say. Maybe one day?

VII. The Chariot - the journey. Ordeal, obstacles, competition. High stakes, ambition, discipline. Conquest, victory, greatness. Right action prevails, overwhelming odds, sudden defeat.

Merrick and/or Dr. Kozak. I mean, this is literally their characters in a nutshell. Merrick is the journey/ordeal for the old guard. He is driven by his ambition, thinks he’s won over impossible odds, and then has a sudden defeat.

VIII. Justice - the balance. Equilibrium, equality, symmetry, harmony. Integrity, honor, fairness, neutrality, moderation. Vindication, self-righteousness, bigotry, prejudice, favoritism.

Nile. This is the woman with a sword card. She brings a balance to the team, she clearly moderates conflict, and I’d love to see BLM art of her in this style. Just sayin.

IX. The Hermit - the seeker-sage. Wisdom, inspiration, contemplation, discretion, understanding. Safety, protection, spiritual quest. Seeking truth and justice. Self-denial, timidity, fear.

Historic Joe. The idealized warrior poet? Definitely just a form of the hermit. Helps explain why a Magrebhi trader/artist fought at the Siege of Jerusalem: spiritual quest. I also like the idea of Joe having a secret reserved side.

X. The Wheel of Fortune - cycles of life. Destiney, evolution and progress, advancement. Manifestation, unexpected events. Success, sudden luck. Ups and downs.

Modern Quynh. There is nothing that better encapsulates her storyline than the wheel of fortune. One day you’re roaming the world with your immortal wife. The next, you’re drowning for over 500 years. The next you’re in Booker’s shitty Paris apartment.

XI. Strength - fortitude. Resilience, courage, resolve, confidence. Integrity, moral victory, endurance. Energy, action, vitality. Power, force, violence. Abuse of power, disgrace, impotence.

Lykon. Do I love this character beyong measure and reason? Maybe so. We have so little to go on about him, however, that the only things we do know bely his strengths. Also, he becomes ultimately the weakest when he dies and encapsulates both “extremes” of the card.

XII. The Hanged Man - the tested. Delay, sacrifice, abandonment, rejection. Betrayal. Reversals, restrained or bound, limbo, trials. Falseness.

Booker. If the fact that his first death was by hanging didn’t convince you? Read that description again. His character arc is literally working through being the hanged man.

XIII. Death - the loss or parting. Alteration, transformation, transition. Boredom, depression, stagnation, failure or disaster. Bereavement, recovery, immobility.

Lykon. He literally represents the fear of death to the remaining immortals. It is HE that they invoke when they discuss it. Also, I’m still mourning my favorite underdeveloped character.

XIV. Temperance - the moderation. Self-control, economy, patience, coordination. Consolidation, harmony, friendship, recuperation. Unfulfilled desires, discord, stubbornness, hostility, clashing of interests. Time, seasons, and climate.

A Safehouse. I don’t think any of the people really capture the tempered essence of this card, the constancy throughout all seasons of life. An actual physical building that rises and falls with (regular) humanity, though, seems to do the trick.

XV. The Devil - the arcane. Magic, strange occurrences, prophecy, fate. Catastrophe, downfall, negative attitude, Temptations, sins, obsessions. Enslavement, bondage, misplaced loyalty, violence, fatality.

Honestly? I’m so torn. I feel like a major commentary of the movie is that our demons are the way people react more so than the people themselves. Maybe the armored van?

XVI. The Tower - the House of God. Disruption, expulsion from an earthly paradise, divine wrath. Punishment (of pride), loss, destructive rivalry, plans ruined. Need to start again, bankruptcy.

The Iron Coffin. While this doesn’t capture the religious undertones quite right, the coffin is the Tower for Andromaquynh, It is (divine? or very human?) wrath brought on by pride since the two probably thought that they would be fine. It is loss and painful new beginnings.

XVII. The Star - the bright promise. Hope, faith, light of the spirit. Recovery, symbols of immortality. Gifts, good prospects, new dawn, frustrated expectations.

Nile. The new immortal, enough said.

Historic Andy/Lykon. In a way, the first immortal would also be a great choice of representation.

XVIII, The Moon - the hidden forces. Twilight, illusion, deception, trickery. Dishonesty, danger, uncertainty, terror. Developments, particularly somewhat concealed. Errors, powerful feelings.

Copley. I know, I know. “He’s the moon when I’m lost in darkness” and all that jazz. But look at this card’s interpretation and notice it’s pretty negative. Copley’s entire role is to pull the strings behind the scenes. He makes headway on problems in secrets, he lies and deceives everyone in the film at some point.

XIX. The Sun - the work’s rewards. Daylight, co-creation, union “of male and female”. Peace, joy, pleasure, love, contentment. Accomplishment, achievement, success. 

Joe. Not only is he the sun, he also fits this card perfectly. He is creation and happiness. Enough said.

XX Judgement - the rebirth. Judgement, sentence. Rejuvenation, renewal, resurrection, call to the new from the old, rehabilitation. Creation, promotion.

Historic Booker. I feel like his backstory with his family helped highlight the theme of rebirth for the Old Guard. They must be willing to give up what they have left behind to move forward. Also, there’s the more literal play as well since Booker was a conscripted criminal.

XXI The World - the long journey. Perfection, completion, conclusion. Power through intelligence and wisdom. The universe and the material world.

A group photo, of course! Beyond that? Who knows.

Historic Andy? She’s seen so much of it. Like just her eyes portray the history of the world.

The Minor Arcana (aka the rest of the cards)

Since most people are only familiar with the major arcana,  I’ll just briefly explain it. The minor arcana are actually the majority of a tarot deck. There are four suits associated with the four elements. Each suit has ten number cards and four court/face cards (traditionally modelled either based on one person or different interpretations of similar costuming). Each number or face has its own meaning, each suit has its own meaning, and their combination mostly explains what the card should be interpreted as. Quite frankly, the minor arcana are vastly underrated in popular understandings of tarot.

Suit of Wands - fire. Spontaneity, action, passion, adrenaline, life force, stroke of genius.

Guns? It’d be a bit of a niche take, but I associate guns with fires.

Staffs? More traditional in shape.

Suit of Coins - earth. Solid growth, material interests, possessions, profit, business, labor, slow and considerate.

Historic currency. Enough said.

Suit of Cups - water. Heartfelt involvements, imagination, spirituality, love, friendship, family.

Fountains around the world. Enough said.

Suit of Swords - air. Worry, trouble, boundaries, objectivity, the power of truth.

Obviously, their weapons of choice. I would go into more detail about who best represents each number, but I don’t want to bore you.

Court of Kings - mature men. Leaders, authority, status-quo, taking responsibility.

Again, most tarot is very gendered. But members in tuxes?

Court of Queens - mature women. Reflective and active, concerned with security/foundations, supportive, focused.

Members in dresses/gowns/anything that glitters?

Court of Knights/Cavaliers - young men. Dynamic, adventurous, intensive, revolutionary.

Tactical gear. Or historical armor. But it’s easier to do tactical gear right than accidentally draw a 15th century helmet on a 14th century suit of armor.

Court of Knaves/Pages - younger women, teenagers, and children. Students, apprentices, trainees, messengers, new opportunities.

Casual clothes.

[wellhalesbells]

I see you reblogging some comic stuff an I was wondering if you have a favorite comic or favorite character or ship?

this ask is from so long ago but [DEEP BREATH IN] i’m finally going to answer it, nonny.  finally.  i kept wanting to read a little bit farther in my comics stack because.... maybe i’ll like that and will regret not having recced it, i just hafta--get--to it, see?  and, honestly, i’m still there BUT, come on, i’ll never be caught up because that would mean comics would just have to stop coming out and i would be sad forever if that happened, SO

i’m not even going to pretend like i can narrow this down to one comic.  (one ship?  sure, that’s spideypool.  one character?  sure, that’s the merc with a mouth, the regenerating degenerate, wade motherfucking wilson.  but one comic?!)  there is just straight-up too much out there to make a definitive ‘yes, this is it, this is THE ONE ™ ’ statement.  instead, uh, let’s break this shit down, yeah?  (super special secret bonus round, will note all lgbt+ rep and standalone comics.)  in no particular order, here the frig it goes!

HORROR

infidel, by pornsak pichetshote and aaron campbell.  in case you haven’t seen this on every 2018 best list ever, here it is.  and, yeah, it was good.  a muslim-american main character living in a haunted apartment building where the entities feed off the xenophobia of its occupants.  if that’s not a fucking modern horror story i don’t know what is.

spread, by justin jordan and kyle strahm.  THIS IS ONE OF MY NEW AND ALREADY ALL-TIME FAVORITES.  what an awesomely weird and epic story.  the spread is an uncontrollable, unstoppable monster-making force that humanity accidentally unleashed by digging too deep.  it infects everything it touches and basically all of humanity is running from quarantine to quarantine just hoping for the best.  and speaking of hope.... she’s a baby, rescued by no, and the only thing that’s ever been able to stop the spread.  also, no’s gay?  and i just DID NOT see that coming.  it seems like it’s going to be such a formulaic, bro-y story about the action hero who kisses the face off his girl (her name’s molly and she’s batshit insane and amazing) and instead, nope, it is not that at all.  lgbt+ main characters.

the black monday murders, by jonathan hickman and tomm coker.  hate capitalism?  think all the rich and powerful are evil, soul-sucking monsters?  [obnoxious, low-budget commercial sound effects] MAN, HAVE I GOT THE SERIES FOR YOU.

the beauty, by jeremy haun and jason a. hurley.  i just started this recently but so far, oh my good golly gosh, i looove it.  a sexually transmitted disease that makes you conventionally gorgeous.... at least before it explodies you.  [wide, creepy smile]  the art is gorgeous, the characters are aces and i am very, very pleased so far.  lgbt+ minor characters.

the great divide, by ben fisher and adam markiewicz.  this?  was a COOL idea.  the execution stumbled a bit but, gosh, was it neat.  it’s post-apocalyptic where touching another person will literally kill.... one of you.  the survivor then absorbs the memories of the person who dies, taking on a ‘rider.’  some people collect them, some people go mad, some form a bond, all have the side effect of dyslexia.  like i said, neat as all get out.  lgbt+ minor-ish/main-ish character.  standalone.

revival, by tim seely and mike norton.  a rural town in wisconsin experiences ‘miracle day,’ where the dead rise again.... except, they were kinda already mourned and buried and this is really just fucking up the status quo.

the woods, by james tynion iv and michael dialynas.  a high school gets picked up and plopped down in an entirely new, and wickedly hostile universe.  it’s all survival and alliances and seeing what you’re really made of when it comes down to it.  lgbt+ main characters. 

clean room, by gail simone and jon davis-hunt.  a cult, a journalist and a clean room walk into a bar...

anya’s ghost, by vera brosgol.  you think it’ll be a cute story of a girl and her ghost.  HA HA THAT IS NOT WHAT HAPPENS AT ALL, OKAY.

FANTASY

rumble, by john arcudi and james harren.  SCARECROW WARRIOR GOD, SCARECROW WARRIOR GOD, SCARECROW WARRIOR GOD!!!  okay, first off, the art in this?  pushes every friggin’ button i’ve got, and many i did not know i had.  second, this book is so fucking fun.  it’s mythology that’s balls to the wall ridiculous, funny, and features a main character whose life motto is basically: ‘do i have to?’  infinitely relatable and then some.

heathen, by natasha alterici and rachel deering.  UGH, ONE OF MY FAVORITES.  the art is just horribly, horrendously gorgeous and it’s LESBIAN VIKING MYTHOLOGY, OKAY.  OKAYYYY???   lgbt+ main characters.

the wicked + the divine, by kieron gillen and jamie mckelvie.  one of my favorite ever series right here.  it’s a hella cool concept (gods reincarnating as humans every twelve years, and burning up their hosts in two), whip-smart and if you’ve ever met a human being who likes a pun more than kieron gillen i defy you to produce them.  lgbt+ main and minor characters.

batgirl, by gail simone and adrian sayaf and vicente cifuentes.  you know how people rave about gail simone?  there’s a reason people rave about gail simone.  honestly, i’ve never had much interest in babs.  i don’t tend to go for superheroes who don’t kill and i have even less interest in ‘the killing joke’ story line and i am convinced only gail simone could’ve done the recovery on that and she did a GLORIOUS job of it.

red hood and the outlaws, by scott lobdell and dexter soy.  (ignoring recent - and annoying - developments), this is my favorite of all the rebirths dc did.  scott lobdell is the only writer to have gotten the idea down of: okay, we’re starting over, i assume you don’t know anything but i also assume there are a bajillion people reading who know everything, and hit the perfect medium between those two things.  so if you want to start a jason todd run, you legitimately can here, and get all the found family, badassery, batman-teasing enjoyment there is to be had.

iceman, by sina grace and robert gill (covers by kevin wada).  classic super-heroing here and bobby’s first solo title.  he’s figuring out coming out while fighting (and flirting) with baddies.  sina really gets his humor and how truly wonder-awful it is!  lgbt+ main character.

spider-man/deadpool, by joe kelly and ed mcguinness.  watch those names there, those are your guys right there, period.  they looked at the void of a spider-man/deadpool series and filled it with absolutely everything you could possibly want for the pair (sans a hardcore make-out sesh, though they did get a few variant covers with some puckered up lips in there!)

limbo, by dan watters and caspar wijngaard.  a fusion of 80s aesthetics, voodoo elements and a noir tone.  just some remarkably cool shit in this.  the ending, for me, left something to be desired but it was more than worth it to see worship via mixtapes.  standalone.

hawkeye: kate bishop, by kelly thompson and leonardo romero.  kate bishop is, apparently???, a super impossible character for a lot of writers.  kelly thompson is not one of them.  kelly thompson is my favorite kate bishop writer, actually, and the fact that she is ever not writing her is a gd travesty.

the unbeatable squirrel girl, by ryan north and erica henderson.  honestly, i’m so tempted to just stick this under ‘contemporary,’ because it really does just feel very... normal.  doreen’s navigating college, new friendships, and y’know... the squirrely-ness.  this had every opportunity to suck and instead it’s funny as heck, never takes itself too seriously, and is just pure good-hearted entertainment through and through.

wolf, by ales kot and matt taylor.  a paranormal detective and the-possible-antichrist go on a road trip.  people hated this comic and i don’t know how you can hate a comic that has a character called freddy chtonic who has tentacles for a mouth??? 

ms. marvel, by g. willow wilson and adrian alphona.  hi, you read ms. marvel because the world is a garbage fire and people are terrible and your cynicism is at an all time high and then kamala khan waltzes in and reminds you people generally want to help each other and the world improves when we work together and that thing optimists feel?  you’ll feel that for as long as you’ve got the pages open and that’s a magical thing.  lgbt+ minor character.

monstress, by marjorie m. liu and sana takeda.  psychic links with monsters, matriarchal societies, magic and witchery, half-human/half-animal (and other ratios) characters, all through a steampunk lens.  what’s not to like about that??

inhuman, by charles soule.  i love this series, i love the idea of being a total average joe/joanne, getting smacked in the face by a cloud of mist and suddenly having to figure out how to live basically a whole new life.  also, if you don’t fall madly in love with dante pertuz, i don’t even know what to tell you, my dude.

heart in a box, by kelly thompson and meredith mcclaren.  break-ups suck, but only because of that whole pesky broken heart thing, right?  so emma gives hers away.  problem solved, no?  standalone.

i kill giants, by joe kelly and j.m. ken niimura.  i didn’t cry my eyes out or anything.  did not.  standalone.

sex criminals, by matt fraction and chip zdarsky.  having sex = stopping time, which leads suzie and jon to the only logical conclusion: let’s rob some banks!

hawkeye, by matt fraction and david aja.  honestly there are a lot of other artist combos in this run but the only ones that are worthwhile are the ones that have fraction and aja’s names on them - sorry not sorry.

SCIENCE FICTION

black bolt, by saladin ahmed and christian ward.  saladin revived this character one hundred million percent.  there is absolutely a reason this was parading around all over ‘best’ lists when it was released.  it really, really did the damn thing.

saga, by brian k. vaughan and fiona staples.  this is the comic you recommend to people who don’t even like comics because it is that good.  like, my dad - who hadn’t read a comic since he was a pre-teen, eagerly awaits each new trade.  the world-building, the characters, the care put into every single solitary bit of all the things?  unparalleled.  lgbt+ minor characters.

frostbite, by joshua williamson and jason shawn alexander.  a post-apocalyptic story that has humanity dying from a plague that literally freezes you from the inside out.  very neat, very cold, very readable.  standalone.

descender, by jeff lemire and dustin nguyen.  this had a rough start, for me, with the main character of the first trade being tim-21, an android who is literally incapable of having the depth to be a lead BUT that does not last through to the next trade, thank god.  lots of space and found family and world-building in this to be had!  but you know how people rave about jeff lemire?  there’s a reason people rave about jeff lemire.

paper girls, by brian k. vaughan and cliff chiang.  the 80s and time travel and lifelong friendships.  it’s brian k. vaughan, you know it’s good, okay?  why do i even have to sell you here, man?  lgbt+ main characters.

injection, by warren ellis and declan shalvey.  this is another one on my list that started out a little rough but really appealed to me later on.  there was just a lot to absorb in that first trade but, once you’ve got it, the ride gets way, way smoother.   lgbt+ main and minor characters.

black science, by rick remender and matteo scalera.  this was a rocky start, because the main character is such an asshole but in a way where he can’t see he’s an asshole, he’s just a tortured genius who’s superior to all of you, don’t you know? but i am so glad i persevered because if that’s the set up?  the rest of the series is knocking him back down.  super scientist grant mckay finds a way to access the eververse, every possible reality the universe has on offer, and that’s really what causes every single problem that follows.  hard to cause the apocalypse and be an arrogant prick, ya know?

CONTEMPORARY

giant days, by john allison and lissa treiman.  this series is so funny and smart and warm.  these girls are so kind to each other and relatable and failing at adulting regularly and often and i love reading about them.  lgbt+ main character.

lumberjanes, by noelle stevenson and grace ellis and brooke a. allen.  this is funny and ridiculous and kind and cool and all other awesome adjectives and you should read it, fact.  lgbt+ main characters.

my brother’s husband, by gengoroh tagame and anne ishii (translator).  this is such a sweet story about acceptance and family tbh.   lgbt+ main character.

fence, by c. s. pacat and johanna the mad.  i mean... i need to see nicholas and seiji hook-up, i need that, stat.  stat means now!   lgbt+ main characters.

WEB/INDEPENDENT COMICS

long exposure, by kam heyward.  so mitch and jonas are my absolute faves and i love them to death and the author is so kind in that they actually put this up in print on indyplanet so i can read it the way i, personally, love to read comics (and - bonus! - support them with the monies).  lgbt+ main characters.

modern dread, by pat shand and ryan fassett (editors).  i’ve been trying to find more better horror comics lately so i’ve been kind of half-heartedly stumbling through kickstarter on the hunt and this was SUCH a great find.  it’s an anthology but more cleverly done than any other kickstarter anthology i’ve read, with a main story line that seamlessly strings together the would-be-disjointed ones.  this was really thoughtfully put together and really well done!  standalone.

heartstopper, by alice oseman.  a very sweet story about two high school-aged boys becoming fast friends, playing rugby and falling in love.  the two characters are mentioned as an aside in the author’s book, solitaire, and she became so invested in them that she wrote their backstory as a free webcomic.   lgbt+ main characters.

the pale, by jay fabares.  JUST started this (like, just a day or so ago) but i’m enjoying it so far!

hotblood!, by toril orlesky.  i mean... is it a webcomic about a centaur falling in love with his boss?  it just might be.  did i get a bound edition through a kickstarter campaign?  maybe.  maybe i did that.  who’s to say?   lgbt+ main characters.

the bay, by bbz.  life on mars through the lens of three young professionals who form an odd but lasting friendship.  lgbt+ main characters.

hard drive, by artroan.  is it a nsfw comic about a dude and a robot?  .... it might be a nsfw comic about a dude and a robot.  [coughs]   lgbt+ main characters.

seen nothing yet, by tess stone.  a nsfw comic about two amateur ghost hunters.  can’t imagine why i might be interested in that [coughs]   lgbt+ main characters.

captain imani and the cosmic chase, by lin darrow and alex assan.  i mean did i want a starship captain who can’t help but lust after the smuggler he’s chasing.  i mean, maybe i did.  maybe.   lgbt+ main characters.

taproot, by keezy young.  ghost falls in love with boy, boy falls in love with ghost, AND THEY LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER.  lgbt+ main characters.

always raining here, by bell and hazel.  just two boys falling in lurve.  lgbt+ main characters.

[tumblunni]

OH FUCK I THINK I FINALLY CRACKED THE CODE OF WHY I ALWAYS LIKE THE VILLAINS BETTER

Like man it always makes me so confused cos i mean im a soft AF person and i always end up having sympathetic redemption headcanons for them so its not like i like VILLAINY ITSELF but what else do all these characters have in common?

Thats it. Thats it, ursula helped me crack it.

I just WANT THOSE TRAITS ON THE HEROES

I really want a nice confident sassy funny chubby trans auntie who promotes body positivity to our young hero and always gets to say the coolest lines and get the best moments and BE LOVED FOR WHO SHE IS

And like usually whenever you get anywhere close to seeing those "villain traits" on a hero they like.. Remove all the good parts. If you have a supportive hero aunt she's always boring and generically supportive instead, and has to look like the most stereotypical boring mess ans have a super small plot role and uuuugh thats IF SHES EVEN THERE i mean seriously aunties and grandmas are weirdly less represented as mentors than grandpas who are already REALLY HARD TO FIND and again OFTEN GENERIC AND UNFUN WHENEVER THEY GET TO APPEAR

And how damn often are we allowed to have a chubby gay aunt!! WHERE IS MY CHUBBY GAY AUNT!! ive met SO MANY chubby gay aunts in real life like 90% of all my psychologists have been either that or like.. The exact same but a straight lgbt ally instead. Sassy plus size aunties are THE BACKBONE OF OUR SOCIETY DAMMIT! I've had so much help thanks to sassy gay aunts!! And like even just looking at any damn crowd scene in a normal city centre youre gonna see so many chubby aunts and long nosed uncles and all those sorts of bullshit "ugly people" that mass media pretends are ugly and relegates to One Minor Role In The Entire Cast despite them being infinately more common than supermodels and NOT UGLY AT ALL GEEZ IT PISSES ME OFF SO MUCH

I cant believe im a fuckin disney villain fan cos of body positivity

Tfw u suck so bad at making hateable people that the fandom universally hugs all your villains and ignores your boring protagonists like fuckin TAKE THAT DIDNEY

God i wanna hug hades sooo bad he just needs a friend aaaaaa

And i mean its not just disney, every damn time ive obsessed over a villain its been because they have some trait thats supposed to be "bad" but its actually good and we dont get to see it on the heroes

Like my thing with science villains in particular is that when i first played ff7 i really liked the idea of an evil minion who's a bad sidekick not just because he's "dumb" or "bumbling" but because he's actually not interested in any of the evil stuff and he works against his own boss and is like.. Friendly to the heroes, i have no particular grudge against you and i wont stop you if im off duty and all. I liked the Turks for the same reason but in the origibal ff7 translation they were kind of stoic and serious and i didnt really become as much of a fan of them til i saw them being more goofy and comic relief in some optional sidequests and then their movie adaptation. But hojo was always being all "lol my boss's plan is so stupid amirite" and had that very memorable scene where he's just sunbathing and tells you everything you need to know to get to the next thing to ruin his boss's plan cos i mean fuck it who even cares im just here to soak up some sun while fully dressed in a turtleneck and labcoat. It sucked so much that he was such a reprehensible bastard with creepy sexual assault vibes and murder and child abuse and experimenting on people and basically just NOT A LOVEABLE VILLAIN but his CONCEPT held so much potential to be filled by a sympathetic character instead...

So yeah then cos of him i kept being obsessed with finding SOME CHARACTER SOMEWHERE that actually lived up tp that potential, and thats why i was instantly interested in charon from pokemon and totally on edge waiting for the slightest chance for him to become That Perfect Sass Gramps Of Legend. And then he was indeed sassy!! And had so little screenyime that there was potential for interpretation of him as potentially redeemable cos i mean the game never said he wasnt, the game barely said anything about him at all, lol. And he was so old and small and frail looking and i just wanted to protect him!! And then that one wifi event that actually hinted at synpatheticness!! Aaaa its a recipe for a Forever Fave~

And i guess maybe it all started with my grandma being awesome and me really missing her? Cos i had shitty abusive parents and she was my ONLY good family member who showed me what love was like. And she was also basically a supervillain. Like every damn supervillain trait except being evil! She was bombastic and confident and sassy and mischievious and loud and passionate about stuff and always had something funny to say and never gave up no matter how many times she failed. And she also used all that great power for the forces of good!

So yeh thats why i love sassy good guys and i hate that often even when a sassy villain gets redeemed they seem to lose all their edge and become more generic now theyre a good guy. Or they get totally sidelined with no screentime anymore, or they ONLY get to be comic relief and dont get the full and complex redemption they deserve. Or just a lot of bads!! Its never the simplest answer of just fuckin.. Keep the character the character. Thats kinda why i didnt feel too much for the maleficent movie even though the concept itself sounded like everything i ever wanted. The character in that movie is a very different person to origibal maleficent, she's more just a stoic tsundere mumsy figure than a hammy badass iconicness. Still a nice villain redemption but it felt like it would have been better as an original story instead of an attempted maleficent. Also i wish they handled it better with the whole "true love's kiss could be from your mum instead" thing cos i get sooooo grossed out whenever i see people shipping movie maleficent and aurora! Like yes sleeping beauty with lesbians would be great but not when one of them is old enough to be her mum and raised her like a mum and changed her goddamn diapers! Also why did they have to ruin the three good fairies just to make maleficent have the mum opportunity? Like just remove them from the story if you wanted maleficent to raise the kid instead. No need to rewrite them into incompetant assholes when they were everyone's fave part of the original! Dont sacrifice the rare and elusive Good Sassy Gay Aunts!! THEYRE LIKE THE ONLY ONES IN DIDNEY!!! (Incodentally merlin is the equivelant of this to hades as the fairies are to ursula)

Also also villains tend to have ACTUAL FLAWS in stories that have a more boring bland protagonist. I wanna see the story behind charon's neuroses and how he struggles with overcoming his temptation to be bad because of greed but ultimately manages to conquer his own negative side because power of friendship and such. Thats a great character arc that provides so much more than he does as a villain where they just wasted him entirely :(

SO BASICALLY IN SUMMARY

* villains are often more complex and well developed characters with flaws while the same wroter might make shitty heroes due to the illogical fear that nobody would root for them if they werent 100% perfect and successful at everything ever

* villains are also often made as negative stereotypes of minorities and other rarely seen traits, which means its easy to reach out to them and reclaim them as a more positive version when theres literally no other options for you to cling to

* the quite common accidental sympathy factor where a villain will seem to be hated more than they deserve for their actions, ir unjustly punished so much that they feel like an underdog, since the writer assumes you'll think theyre "more evil" for being a stereotype and if you dont agree that this thing is bad then it seems like they have way less sins than the story claims they do

* also sass. Sass is good.

But basically the whole root of it is that its stupid and cruel and doesnt goddamn work when you make villains bigoted stereotypes. It just makes me love them! The only person i hate when i see a stereotypical villain is the writer who thought that was a good idea, lol. Just imagine that meme of the samurai holding the cat but its me holding all disney villains!

Also even if a villain isnt outright intentionally meant to be "this minority is bad", it can still make me symoathetic to them if theyre still something thats rare amoung the hero side in the same series. Like charon being the "most unredeemable" villain despite being the most harmless and funny and his plan being so much less world destroying than cyrus, and also he's the only grandpa villain in like.. The whole of all. And he's drawn very much in that way thays supposed to be "ugly" i.e normal grandpa, vs that weird sort of younger than he looks grandpa that hero ones tend to be because blablabla beauty ewuals goodness anti body positivity whatever. Tho actually sinnoh was good with that, they had the best grandpa professor in my opinion cos he got to be sassy too! Rowan always reminds me of auron from ff10. Sinnoh was a good game where i liked a lot of both the heroes and villains even if i still had more villain faves cos i mean pokemon is always biased towards that for me since every game has a voiceless perosnalityless main character and often theyre the one doing most of the heroing with the supporting hero characters having surprisingly little proper screen time. Thats a big part of why i loved hau gladion and lillie in sun and moon! They felt more like a real friend group than any other ones before.

ANYWAY now im just going offtopic into more "i love lots of stuff about every pokemon game" so ill stop typing now

But just basically VILLAINS ARE GOOD COS THEYRE GOOD CHARACTERS and if those stories gavethe same character a good guy role then id still love them just as much, if not more. I dont specifically like villainy, its just that my definition of a good character is often considered a bad character by lazy writers, apparantly?

Also WHERE IS MY SUPPORTIVE GOOD GRAMPS CHARON GAME AND GAY AUNTIE URSULA GIVES YOU FASHION TIPS SMARTPHONE MMO

[bi-dazai]

15 yr olds on this site really go around totally unsuspicious of fictional media discussing gayness or including gay characters huh

idk about you but i was born in 2000 and my entire life i dealt with blatantly homophobic media (power puff girls is one example!) and intense queerbaiting coupled with homophobic plotlines (supernatural, the 100). i had to ferret around the internet desperately to find a shitty copy of a somewhat decent film involving gayness that wasnt something like philadelphia or debs or rocky horror. when i was struggling the most with coming to terms with my bisexuality was around the period of 2010-2015. during that time antibisexual sentiment was incredibly high (this was when the post-myspace backlash of bisexuality and the rise of mogai and pansexuality came about). every time a tv character was announced to be gay (extremely rarely) they were killed off or forced into homophobic plotlines and stereotypes within episodes. they were the butt of jokes, fandom and the world made fun of them to hell. our expectations for gay representation were extremely low, to the point that we were happy with the kill your gays trope because at least we got screentime. 

korrasami was the breaking point of all this. since then, the media has been much more inclusive and receptive to actual gay criticism and queer theory (as flawed as it is). a children’s show with a massive fanbase made their two female protagonists of colour bisexual and in a romantic relationship. this was huge. this is the best gay representation to date in children’s media. the backlash was still huge, and even more chose to ignore it and pretend it wasnt canon, despite the creators and writers specifying in interviews almost immediately that it was, and that nickelodeon had in fact forced them to cut a kiss scene.

but nothing has really changed. even if there is slightly more gay representation, even though our criticisms are now part of the public conscience, what has changed in western media really? gay representation is white and middle class and vague. it’s liberal, it never depicts any form of the community that is so important to gay film as an establishment, never depicts proper homophobia. it is safe and consumable for homophobes. it’s straight gayness. films such as love, simon and call me by my name depict sanitised, and even homophobic depictions of gayness. it’s hollywood gayness.

queerbaiting still exists - for example, the voltron reboot frequently hinted at lance’s bisexuality and keith’s gayness, constantly foreshadowing a romantic relationship (and yes, there is proof for this. analysing the show and looking at interviews from the time, as well as looking at the complaints about the showrunners from the writing staff in particular who specified that they did not allow the writers to plan a plot and anything that had the potential of upsetting their ratings and upstanding with dreamworks higher-ups were quickly cut - this makes it clear that something was going on there), constantly talking about it with fans, only to have this foreshadowing, the various promises to the community, fall away. shiro was revealed to be gay, a teaser trailer showed him with his boyfriend. in the actual series, the boyfriend got less than a minute of screentime and was killed immediately. shiro, an asian gay man, was made into torture porn. this is queerbaiting and a homophobic trope as well. 

ive seen this with innumerous shows as well. gay characters are introduced as a grab for a larger audience and free advertising via people discussing the show on the internet. 

so yes. on the surface, it seems that things have changed. younger people are being told that gay media is the norm, that we are living in good times, and they are being taught queer theory criticism of media via a hollywood and social media lens.

but beneath? nothing has changed. i still get twinges of fear when hollywood and netflix try to appeal to gay audiences. i still dont trust the representation they provide. i am still ferreting about the internet to find a copy of an independent film. i am still watching the same four gay films. 

it sounds strange when i say that i hate gay representation. but this is what i am referring to - hollywood representation, netflix representation. 

i have seen a strange gap in ages and response to gay representation in hollywood and netflix productions. young people who were born after about 2003/04 are the current main targets of most hollywood gay representation. korrasami became canon when they were just 10 years old. this cultural shift happened before they were old enough to truly realise what was happening. and with no one discussing just how big that cultural shift was and has been, there is no consideration for their own past that can take place within their own thoughts. it is normal for a tv show to have a gay character and so long as that character isnt killed off they’re happy. ive seen this sad trend of young teenagers consuming characters and representations of sexuality like this with total happiness. even some of the smartest, most media-critical kids ive ever met still engaged with love,simon with complete and utter praise. 

but to those born before, we grew up with something different. shows like the powerpuff girls had transphobic depictions. gayness was reserved for adult, latenight shows like the l-word. homophobic and transphobic punchlines were the norm. lesbian was ugly or a porn category. bisexual was unheard of - our flag was only designed in the very late 1990s. or we were whores. for a moment in the mid-2000s we were celebrated in teenage underground movements such as scene, punk, emo, etc. but by the early 2010s we were being named as affronts to the lgbt community (once again). transgenderness was completely reviled (still is). we were queerbaited and slandered and hated by hollywood

ten years later we are said to be “welcomed” in media. but i feel no difference. i am still suspicious and bitter and disappointed and disgusted. i dont feel welcomed nor celebrated. i still feel disgusted with myself and i still feel hollow and hated - because i am. we are. hollywood is not your friend. it never has been. representation is a cash grab.

[roxiestranger19]

The Laundromat

(a little thing i wrote using made up characters- inspired by all the gym girlies on my feed)

The bell rang and my eyes shot up from my dark corner of the floor, lit only by the Walmart sign across the road, to see none other than Reid Parker walk through the door. When Taylor said I could come in after the closing time to do my laundry, I assumed I would be the only one here but apparently not.

“‘Sup dude, Taylor let you in too?” Reid asks. I roll my eyes so far in the back of my head that I think I gave myself a headache.

“Yeah, he did. I thought I had exclusive access.” 

“Oh, it’s you.” He opens a washer and dumps in way too many clothes. “How do you know him?”

“The gym.”

“You go to the gym?” He asks.

“Yes, I do, actually.” I smile sarcastically and go back to my phone. 

“Okay, geez,” He closes the lid and leans against the machine. “Maybe if you wore anything other than baggy sweatshirts and sweatpants I’d be able to tell.”

“Yeah, I dont wear clothes to please men so, sorry to disappoint.” He clicks his tongue.

“Did your girlfriend break up with you or something?” I glare at him with murder behind my eyes. What did he just say?

“First of all, I'm straight, and second, I don’t remember asking for your opinion.” He looks a bit stunned and I eternally praise myself for my amazing comeback. 

“Ain’t no way you’re straight.” 

“Why are you questioning my own sexuality?” I ask.

“Because literally everyone thinks you’re a lesbian.” I think he thought that that would surprise me but I’ve been told that I’m gay since eighth grade and Ive given up on correcting people, except for this time. I dont mind being compared to lesbians. I'm ashamed to be attracted to men.

“Okay, and?” 

“Doesn’t that bother you?” He asks. 

“Not really.” I go back to scrolling through TikTok.

“Then why do you dress like a guy?” I throw my head back and groan.

“Why do you care?”

“Because. Don’t you wanna show off all your hard work?” 

“I don't, actually,” I say.

“I’m just saying.” He turns around and unscrews the detergent lid, “If I went to the gym enough to know Taylor, which I do, I’d show off.” I cringe at the excessive amount of detergent he pours on top of the mountain of clothes. 

“I'm not an attention seeker like you are.” I glance up at him. 

“Being proud of yourself is different than doing it for attention.” He lets the lid fall closed, creating a loud bang that resonates through the empty Laundromat. 

“Whatever,” I mumble. I don't want to talk to him anymore. There have been a few times where I want to literally flex on everyone, show the people what I do five times a week, but I haven't worn short sleeves in almost three years. Besides my ex, Isaac, no one has seen my arms. I don't know why I make it such a big deal. I got nothing but compliments from him. If I didn't care from the beginning then I wouldn’t have anything to be scared of now. I blame it on not wanting the attention or experiencing the terrible feeling of everyone looking at me, but I think it’s starting to become deeper than that. I check my timer and there’s still twenty minutes left. Reid has been counting coins for way too long and I think I saw him squinting to see the numbers engraved on a coin that I can tell is a quarter from all the way across the room. He finally puts it in the machine and sits on top of it. 

“So what brings you here at this fine hour?” he asks. While slightly less annoyed now that I've had a few moments of silence, his presence still irks me. 

“Peace and quiet and no ones gonna throw out my shit to put theirs in,” I say. 

“Those people are the worst.” He’s definitely one of those people. “So…,” he looks around, “the whole gym thing.”

“No more questions.” 

“What’s your squat PR?”

“I’m not doing this.”

“Whatever, mine's definitely higher,” he brags. Oh, please. His ass is way flatter than mine.

“I dont care.” I dig around for my headphones and put them on, a universal sign that I do not want to talk. I turn on my Rihanna playlist and close my eyes. One minute into “Pon de Replay” I feel something hard hit my face. “What the fuck!” I yell, pulling my headphones off. A penny. Reid threw a penny directly at my forehead and doesnt look in the least bit sorry.

“I'm bored,” he smirks.

“How the hell is that my problem?” I throw the penny back at him but it hits the washer instead and flies in an unknown direction.

“Excellent aim.”

“Shut up.” I put my headphones back on and watch him slide off the washer. His mouth is moving but I can't hear a word he’s saying. “I can’t hear you!” I yell, closing my eyes. Just as I think he has given up I have the feeling that I'm being watched. I slowly open my eyes to find him standing right in front of me, scaring me shitless. “Jesus Christ!” I clutch my heart. He’s bent over laughing. I take my headphones off again. 

“I was standing there for a solid minute before you noticed,” he says breathlessly.

“Stop laughing at me.”

“Only if you do something for me.” I can see the gears turning in his head. 

“Do you not have a phone or something else to entertain yourself with?” 

“Nope.” He sits down criss crossed. God this man is a child. My ten year old cousin is less annoying.

“Well stop harassing me.” I put my headphones back in my bag. 

“What are you going to do about it?” He challenges. I dont have the energy to do anything and I don't know what he wants from me.

“I'll do anything that will make you leave me alone.” I immediately regret what I just said. 

“Anything?” His eyebrows raise.

“No, not anything. Just, what do you want?” He faces me head on and looks me dead in the eye.

“I want you to take off your clothes and post a picture of yourself without wearing that hoodie.” I feel my face heat up and I'm grateful that neither of us bothered to turn the lights on when we came in. I shake my head.  

“Absolutely not.” 

“Why?” 

“Because I haven’t posted on my instagram since freshman year of high school and im not undressing in front of you,” I say. He scoffs.

“Isn’t your account private? Barely any people would see plus, I can’t see shit in here.”

“The point is, I'm not doing it.” I can’t believe he would even ask me to do that. It may not be a big deal to other people but it is to me. Thirst traps are embarrassing and he can definitely still see shapes in here which is already more than what I want him to see. He rolls his eyes.

“Are you embarrassed or something?” he asks. 

“What? No!” I’m not. My body is the thing I'm most proud of and I want to keep it to myself. 

“Then what is going on?” I breathe in deeply.

“I just don't want to post the pictures.”

“So you’d do it?” He perks up.

“No!”

“C’mon please?” he begs. 

“No means no.” He groans dramatically, dragging his hands down his face.  

“Don’t give me that. What if I did something for you?” My interest is peaked.

“Like what?”

“I’ll get Taylor to lower your membership cost,” he says. That would lower my stress a lot. Sure I could go to the school’s gym, but it's always super busy at the times that I like and I wouldn’t be able to do my laundry at night. 

“How do I know if he’ll do it?” I ask. I’m disappointed in myself for even considering it.

“You gotta trust me,” he says. Yeah that’s a no. “You know Taylor would definitely let you in for free. I’m surprised he doesn't already.” He has a point. Taylor isn’t past doing illegal shit. The man’s a drug dealer for christ sake and he tells people how to break into a Laundromat that he doesn't even work at anymore. This is the only reason why I agree. I trust Taylor, not Reid. 

“Fine I’ll take the pictures but I’m not posting them.”

“Hey–,” he starts.

“And you better talk to Taylor or I’ll get your friends to send your embarrassing pictures to the barstool account.”

“Okay, okay. I will.” He starts to stand. 

“Help me up.” I hold out my arm and he grabs and pulls so hard that I think he pulled it out. “Ow, bitch!” I yell and punch him in the shoulder. He stumbles back and I shake out my hand. 

“I cannot wait to see the muscles that were responsible for that.” He holds his shoulder. I roll my eyes but internally, I’m freaking the fuck out. I’ve never been this scared. 

“Turn around,” I tell Reid.

“I literally can barely see you right now.”

“Do you want me to do this or not?” I ask. He stares at me in silence. 

“Fine,” he agrees and turns around. My stomach flips and I definitely shouldn’t have eaten that Taco Bell. I take two deep breaths and pull my crew neck over my head. Thank god I wore one of my better sports bras today.

“Uhh, it’s off,” I say. He starts turning around and I quickly cover myself with my shirt. He looks me up and down and my anxiety spikes. I wish I could see his face but he’s facing away from the windows and he’s right, all I can see are shapes.

“You're gonna need to drop the shirt for the picture anyway so might as well do it now,” he says. I slowly lower my arms, feeling more and more exposed every second. I throw my shirt onto my backpack and stare right at him. His eyes rake over my chest and stomach, making a shiver run through me. “Damn, Izzy,” he steps back, “Your abs are more defined than mine are.” I blush. I feel like the worst feminist on the planet. I’m not supposed to give in to male validation, but it feels so good. 

“Just take the damn pictures, Reid.” He shakes his head and gets out his phone. “No,” I stop him and hand him my phone instead. “Use mine. I don't want you to send them to anyone.”

“I wasn’t going to.”

“Uh huh.” I nod. “Right.”

“I wont. Now stand by the washers where the blue light is,” he directs. I move past him, next to the only row of washers that are lit. 

“Tell me what to do.” I say. He clears his throat. 

“Turn around and do the basic flexing pose.” I hold up my arms and flex, showing off my arms and my back. I know it looks good because I take my own pictures that I have buried in the depths of my laptop. I have so many folders that it would take someone ages to find them. “The lighting is cool as fuck. You might need to take pictures of me next,” he says. 

“I'm not doing that.” I turn over my shoulder to catch his gaze. “What’s next?”

“Um, sit on the washer and lean back.” I slouch down so my butt is on the edge of the washer and lean back on one arm. He squats down to get a low angle. “Jesus. How many pull ups can you do?” I can see him spamming my camera. I sit up straight with my hands gripping the edge of the washer. 

“How many can you do?” I ask. He steps closer to me.

“I asked you first.” His features are illuminated by the light and I don't feel exposed anymore. I think I kind of like this. 

“Guess,” I challenge. 

“I’m not going to guess.” He takes another step towards me, sets my phone down behind me, and puts his hands next to mine on the washer. His eyes never leave mine and all I’d have to do for him to be close enough to kiss me is open my legs, but I don’t. 

“Why?”

“Because I don't want to guess wrong and be accused of underestimating you.” he says sincerely. My heart flips in my chest. 

“Do you want me to flex again so you can make a more accurate judgement?” I tease. 

“Yes,” he breathes. I adjust my hair and flex at the same time and then put my hands on his shoulders. I feel him tense beneath me and his breath hitches. “I'm guessing 10.”

“14,” I correct, “But I haven't done them in a while.”

“Impressive.”

“Thanks.” The blue light makes his jaw look super sharp and I can just barely make out a faint dusting of freckles on his nose. His gaze flickers to my lips and back up to my eyes and heat rises in my body. My mind doesn't want me to kiss him but my body clearly does. His hands move to my thighs, slowly spreading them apart so he can get closer to me and I let him. My body has never burned as much as it is for him right now. He starts leaning in and I close my eyes, waiting for his lips to touch mine but then my alarm blares loudly behind me and I jump.

“Goddamnit,” he says, jumping back. I reach behind me and frantically tap the screen to get the alarm to shut off.

“I should, um,” I stammer, pointing behind him at the dryers.

“Oh, uh, yeah.” He moves to the side and I slide off the washer, not daring to look at him. Neither of us say a word as I pile my clothes into my laundry bag and walk over to my things. I curse at myself while putting my hoodie back on. I almost kissed him. I almost kissed Reid Parker, and I wanted to too. He’s still standing in the same spot when I go back to grab my phone.

“Um, i'm gonna go,” I say, turning towards the door. 

“Yeah, ok. I gotta stay here, so.” He hoists himself onto his own washer. 

“Ill see you,” I say, immediately cringing. I open the door and walk back to my dorm. What the hell just happened?

[hereticbones]

now that I've finished worm:

rachel started off as one of my favourite characters and progressively got better, i love her, the end.

i would die for dragon but i didnt like/am 2 stupid for her epilogue. and also feel slightly weird about the housewife-ish-ness of it. give me more dragon/defiant/weaver super vigilante family.

im ambivalent about lisa and grue for the most part. i feel like i should be sold on lisa but im... not...

i liked aisha from the moment she's introduced purely defensively because Taylor's description of her was so... classically horribly judgmentally Taylor. and then she turned into a legitimately fantastic really funny + tragic character. that last non epilogue arc man FUCK.

ok so speaking of that arc..... fuck. that fucked me right up. khepri got me fucked up. when the crowd is hugging and celebrating and she thinks theyre murdering each other? fucked me up. when tattletale BLOWS HER A KISS and she doesnt recognize it.... fucked me up. when rachel succeeds in communicating with her when no one else can after all the time taylor spent learning to communicate with rachel??? FUCKED ME UP.

Dragon running her fingers thru her hair when khepri realizes she's forgotten how to read?!?! you guessed it FUCKED me UP

ahem. tbh i wasnt super invested in the last 1/3-1/4 of the story until those last few arcs. the whole jack/theo/end of the world stuff. mostly because i couldnt keep the characters straight.

but then...khepri.... FUCKED ME UP

erm.

other things i didnt like: how weirdly firmly WoG and canon insisted that taylor was straight after the first few arcs when she was accidentally written kiiiinda bi. related: um... isnt amy kind of... an Evil Lesbian? i have not seen any commentary on this which is a bit funny since ppl argue about literally everything else about amy. i mean there's other gay characters but like... her whole schtick sort of manifests as...you know what the more i think abt this the less i wanna previcate. she literally is motivated by her gay love to do an awful terrible thing. sure theres mitigating factors and tons of ppl find her a blameless or almost blameless character but lbr she does something atrocious because she's in love. shrug emoji seems bad.

also iirc of the main chars regent MAY be bi but is EXPLICITLY a rapist so yknow. coughfuckthatcough. aaand as much as i love lily and sabeh they are definitely secondary characters. legend might be an extremely important person in-fiction but in the story he's uh... not.

also circus? being some kinda trans? i think there was good intentions there but it was just... weird... and uncomfortable.... I'd have to reread that bit to see exactly what was said but i definitely remembering feeling unpleasant.

over all no worse than any str8 fiction but ive seen some ppl praising it for being diverse and uh... nnnnot..... exactlyyyy what I'd say.

i really really loved taylor as a protagonist. she was such an damn fuckup and also... terrifying. i loved how rational she thought of herself when she was actually.... not that. at all. what a great example of an unreliable narrator. and also a hypercompetent protagonist despite also being a walking disaster. i loved how all the protagonists were motivated by trauma and how if u werent traumatised u were basically untrustworthy.

i didnt like Taylor's obsession with physical appearance. i understand how it was supposed to be a consequence of her bullying but 1) i just feel weird when she references having no curves/boobs. thats weird. idk. and 2) have a protagonist who is self concious of their looks be actually fat or something u cowards. give her acne. fucking do it.

the writing was damn good 95% of the time. the other 5% is pretty excusable considering how fast and how much wildbow wrote holy shit.

something that i couldnt stop thinking about and that i wish wasnt a bit watered down by the end when nearly everyone was using it was that our narrator adopts the term "passenger" from bonesaw. she picked it up while uh... going thru something p damn traumatizing even if the focus is on what grue went through. every time she used the word "passenger" i remembered that it was bonesaw's word and i wondered if taylor did to.

kid win's chapter about having superpowers + adhd was p well researched and good and i liked getting to see him being awesome and sucessful later on. he wasnt my favourite ward but his bit was Real Good.

the action was p good. the tension was top notch. the characters were the stars. the romances were.... fine. sometimes i wish things were spelled out more. sometimes the obtuseness was just right.

and it is in the end now my favourite superhero story.

and im yawning and sleepy and im sure ill think of a dozen more things but w/e

[eye-holesinapaperbag]

You know what I’m not gonna pretend that Joss Whedon is a perfect writer, I think it’d be unfair to say that about any writer but that’s not the point, for now Joss Whedon is not a perfect writer. There are certainly issues in his scripts, the occasional racism being a big one (although one thing I think we should all bear in mind: don’t think it’s ever been intentional. Not an excuse by any means, but there’s a big difference between being a racist writer and being a flawed writer who fucks up every so often because they don’t get the intricacies of the issue).

However I do not understand the sudden hatred of him on this site. Like actually stop and think it through for a second here. Go back to buffy, actually think it through. Again, not perfect writing, and some stuff in the early seasons could potentially be interpreted as slut-shaming (although I genuinely believe if you go and watch it again without a closed mind, that was absolutely not the intention). But can we just not forget how fucking important that show was? How much that show paved the way for better representation in tv and movies. It was one of the earliest shows to have an openly lesbian relationship within the main cast (and especially in a main stream show), which honestly I think was handled really well for the time (late 90s, early 2000s, really not a good time for this stuff on tv). It was never sexualised, like even remotely, it was just shown as a normal relationship. The one time it was slightly sexualised was in a dream sequence in Zanders mind which was intended to show the grossness of straight cis dudes. And also to the people complaining that almost no lesbian kisses were shown and the characters were always referred to as “gay” without a mention of the possibility of being bi, REMEMBER WHEN THIS SHOW CAME OUT. Honestly it’s astounding that they got away with showing what they did. Seriously shows we’re being pulled around that time for being less explicit than that.

In terms of buffy as a female character, again there are certainly flaws but AGAIN think about when this came out. Think about other shows around then. Buffy was as good as it got then for feminism. And sure, it could have been better for that stuff but if it wasn’t for buffy we would not be at the point we are at now. We’d be several years behind. She gave young girls a role model, who was tough and a badass but also vulnerable and could be very feminine. She was a well rounded, well written character. A female character who was given an opportunity to be flawed.

Buffy is the reason for so much of the the advancements we’ve had in tv representation and how these characters are written and developed. Yes it would’ve been nice if a non straight white dude was given the opportunity to pave that path, but again at that point in time that was simply not going to happen. That isn’t Joss Whedons fault, and you know what he did a damn good job as a replacement. I mean what do you want him to do? Not write parts for women and lgbtq characters? Sure he’s not the most qualified but speaking as part of the latter community I’d much rather he tried than just didn’t bother, and so far he’s done a good job by me.

Touching on firefly for a second, here’s a mainstream sci-fi show with an ensemble cast with a 50/50 split between male and female characters. Again, that was not common back then. All the female characters are well written, well rounded, interesting and diverse characters. Each one was distinctly different from each other and never once blended together, arguably even more so than the male characters. A point I forgot to mention with buffy was that these were characters who were able to enjoy their sexuality and were never put down for that, except to make a point about a male character being gross. Mal makes comments about Inara’s occupation as a companion but this is always shown as kinda gross and as a representation of a certain way of thinking about things that was separated from what was expected from the audience (mal was frequently shown to be NOT a representative of the audience, hence why he was able to be a very flawed character). Also, while less obvious and less talked about, Inara is a canonically bi character (Kaylee may also be, although that’s a bit more implication than with Inara). I say it again, all of this was a fucking big and frankly brave move when these shows came out and helped a whole fucking lot with improving writing quality and representation.

On top of all of this, both of these shows were just really fucking good. All of this was handled brilliantly, because they just got on with their stories and character development. The lesbian relationship in buffy was a big plot line but the plot line was never “look willows gay now”, it was 100% of the time “willows in a happy relationship, isn’t that nice” and the fact that it was with a girl was talked about exactly as much as it should be which means, if we are talking about true representation here, not very often. Like, a realistic amount. When willow comes out to buffy she’s surprised for like 10 seconds and then the show moves on, which is how it fucking should be. It wasn’t a lazily thrown together “coming out and dealing with my lesbianism” plot line, it just got on with things because that how real relationships work. Even today, how many mainstream shows can you think of which handle this subject that well?

And very quickly on avengers, DOES EVERYBODY REMEMBER HOW FUCKING WELL WRITTEN AVENGERS 1 IS? And then sure, he made some bad choices in AOU, but that was around the time that marvel was cracking down on its writers and directors to make sure that the films fitted into the wider mcu. Marvel had full creative control over AOU, and completely crushed whedons creativity. That’s why he left marvel if you remember, because he wasn’t able to make his film, he made a film put together by money people. I 100% believe that’s where the concerning choice about Natasha’s character came from. Not him.

Ive only seen bits and pieces of whedons scrapped Wonder Woman script. I’m not going to deny that it sucks because it does. It really does. I’m a whedon fan, but it sucks. But what we really need to hear in mind is:

A) It was written 10 years ago. Yes firefly and buffy were before that but in the course of 10 years chances are he’s improved. B) it was a first draft. Pretty much every script ever sucks in its first draft, because it hasn’t been refined but also because writers have to include the shit that keeps the producers happy in their first draft, and then they can figure out how to improve it once it’s green light. C) This is one bad script. 1. Writers fuck up sometimes. Are we really gonna throw a writer under the bus based on 1 dodgy script? Honestly that’s a fucked up way of judging art and a scary precedent to set. “Awh ya fucked up once? Awh well, fuck you forever.” Like seriously? Get a grip.

We don’t know what the justice league scenes he’s doing are going to be like yet (and let’s be fucking real here, they’re going to be a hell of a lot better than whatever awful, steaming pile of shit a puke that Snyder has come up with), and we know nothing about his batgirl movie yet. How about we all climb down of the high horse for a second and just wait and see instead of pre-judging him like a bunch of whiny entitled babies.

Yes I’m a fan. Yes I’m biased. But I also recognise the concern. I get it. But can we please calm the fuck down and just wait and see for once? That’d be nice.

In fact can we just marathon buffy and firefly?

Holy fuck that’s a long post