#ive said this so clearly need to correct that

[inkstars1138]

you are all of you amazing, and you are very real

how are you human?

so many interesting comments and thoughts on my post saying buds should consider not coming up to strangers in marginalized groups and saying 'how are you a real person that actually exists?'. i will point out this: despite my VERY gentle tone a few buds said i was having a 'meltdown' for even mentioning it

others said i was being too serious for someone who is ‘not a real person’. so if you would any more evidence of what it is like to be a buckaroo like myself there it is. every day, autistic folks who may seem ‘weird’ are bombarded with messages and comments and implications that they are fundamentally not human beings

sometimes it is outright and blatant like the comments on last post saying ‘well why are you getting mad? you are not even real’ and sometimes it is in the very subtle ways that folks use language when they talk to us. there is huge difference between ‘how do you exist?’ and ‘i am glad you exist.’

anyway, something that i think many people who have not lived this experience dont seem to understand is i KNOW the poster who said ‘how are you a real person that actually exists’ probably meant it as a compliment. that is THE POINT of why i am taking a moment out of my trot to gently and anonymously let them know how it might feel to be on other end of something like this as a queer or autistic or otherwise marginalized buckaroo. it is obviously not their intent to actually hurt someone, so i am letting them know

maybe because queerness and autism are not physically apparent it is hard to explain, but imagine going up to very tall or very short person and saying ‘cant BELIEVE you are real’ as a compliment. not a great way to treat others. on my original post, an indigenous author chimed in with their own experience and feelings similar to my own. a woman who said she was very tall told her story. point is, while i do not have their experience, what i am saying has a universal thread for 'othered' folks

point is: i UNDERSTAND there is this sort of exaggerated or ironic (or maybe even sometimes very literal) language around fandom to say things like ‘how are you a human?’ to creators, but since it is not your intent to hurt, i think you might want to know how that feels to marginalized buckaroos sometimes.

obviously you can say anything you want. i do not hold it against you. also, if you think ‘oh no, did i say something like this to chuck at a convention? i am so embarrassed' then DO NOT WORRY i promise you buckaroo you are just fine. i present myself in a way that is unusual by definition, so i have pretty thick skin about this type of thing and a lot of patience. MANY buds start off thinking i am ‘a joke’ and then become fans over time and i am glad to trot beside them and prove love is real.

however there are other autistic or queer or marginalized buckaroos with smaller platforms who hear this just as much as me, so i think it is important to say it loudly and maybe together we can work on making a very slight shift in the way we speak to the ‘others’ in our lives

we do not NEED to let subtle dehumanization slip into our language. in some cases it has been called ‘micro aggressions’ but i think buds dont often consider what that means for COMPLIMENTS. ultimately, telling marginalized people YOU ARE SO AMAZING YOU CANNOT POSSIBLY EXIST may seem very fun and silly on the surface and for some folks it probably feels that way, but for others it can feel like a reminder of the broader doubt about their humanity. you can just say ‘YOU ARE AMAZING’ without the reminder of the many times autistic or queer or marginalized folks are told in a very serious and pointed way (like comments on the last post) ‘YOU ARE SO WEIRD THAT I HAVE DECIDED YOU ARE NOT REAL’

buckaroos can take this information and apply it to their interactions, or they can ignore it, that is totally fine. we are all trotting our own trots and proving love in our own way and thats okay bud, HOWEVER i feel like it is important to at least let folks know, even if that means getting told i am having a ‘meltdown’. i think it is important to have complex or difficult conversations if it will prove a little more love in the long run. THANK YOU FOR READING BUCKAROOS. i am honored to trot forward with you can tackle this kind of thing with you, and honored you buckaroos have created such an amazing space with me to pull apart these kind of feelings. THIS IS PROOF THAT LOVE IS REAL LETS TROT

[oizysian]

Part IV: Stupid Girl

I Set the World on Fire masterlist

Warnings: injury, sickness

Word count: 1.7k

•

It was cold. Natasha had been gone for a few hours, leaving me with Yelena as a guard dog. The blonde woman never took her eyes off of me, never let me out of her vicinity.

My eyes shifted, searching the room for something, anything, to get me out. I tried to keep my breathing steady, not wanting to alert her to what I was doing.

“Y/N,” she said my name teasingly, her voice deep and the words coming out of her mouth languidly. “I know what you’re doing. Don’t you want to go outside? Natalia promised you could if you behaved.” She smiled and leaned back in her chair. “It snowed last night. You could make a snowman.” She said with a chuckle.

I turned my face away from her, staring at the fireplace across the room. I didn’t care for being babysat and I sure didn’t appreciate being treated like a child.

I squeezed my eyes shut, pushing back the tears that had threatened to escape them. It snowed? When I had been taken, it was nearly the end of summer. How long had it been?

“What’s the date?” I asked softly, still not facing her.

“You know that it doesn’t matter, correct?”

I heard her get up from the chair she was sitting on, her footsteps heavy as she paced in front of the bed.

“Nothing matters but Natalia.” Her voice was dangerous, like sharp knives and hungry bullets. “You will learn this sooner or later.”

Her loyalty to the older woman was almost admirable. Of course, they were sisters, suffered in similar ways, fought to be where they are today. I didn’t know much about their background, but I did know that they didn’t particularly like talking about it.

“I want to go outside.” I spoke softly, wishing I had a window to look out of.

“You need to earn it.”

I finally turned to look at her, her imposing figure hovering over the edge of the bed. She wasn’t a large woman, but her presence gave her an aura that wasn’t to be fucked with.

“What do you want?” I asked weakly, all the possibilities running through my mind as she smiled back at me.

“I want you to give Natalia what she wants.”

“I don’t understand.” I had given Natasha everything she asked for – mostly against my will.

“That bitch, Wanda.” My eyes widened as she spoke. “Natalia wants Wanda. I do not understand why she continues to play with you – a disgusting, used concubine, when she could just -”

She stopped herself, taking a breath and steeling herself. Clearly, she wasn’t much for for civil conversation if it wasn’t with Natasha.

“Get dressed.” I blinked at her, swallowing roughly as she moved from the bed to the chair again, sitting down with her hands on her knees. “We’ll go out. For a few minutes.” She added and I sighed.

I got up from the bed and went to the large closet across from where she was sitting, digging out something proper for snow.

“Can you at least turn around so I can get changed?” I asked rudely, but she smiled at me and shook her head.

“Natalia said to not take my eyes off of you for a minute. Not even a second.” She leaned forward. “I’ll watch you, even though it doesn’t bring me much pleasure.”

My eyebrows furrowed at her words and I began to undress. There was nothing else I could do. I tried not to look at her as I rushed to get my clothes on, the heat burning my cheeks from embarrassment heavy on my mind.

I could feel her eyes, stony and unmoving, as I finished getting dressed, fixing my pant leg over the thick socks I had found.

“Very appropriate for snow.” She commented dryly. “The snowman will be pleased.”

I rolled my eyes at her and stood before her expectantly. She stood and headed for the door, unlocking it with her key and gesturing for me to walk ahead of her.

“No funny business.”

I bit my lip and walked out, not bothering to wait as she followed along behind me. What could I possibly try to do? Natasha had her people all over the house – I would never get away.

She grabbed my elbow and directed me towards a wing I hadn’t been to before. It was a large, open area, almost like a greenhouse , with many windows and balconies to look out from. The flowers that grew inside the room were being cared for by a small, mousy looking woman who made it a point to purposely ignore us.

“I thought we were going outside.”

Yelena laughed and released my arm.

“Do you think I am stupid? You may build your little snowman with the snow from the windows. This is as close to the outside as you get.”

“But, Natasha promised -”

“I do not care what lies she told you so she could bed you without complaints. You will never have the freedom of going outside.”

Tears built up in my eyes as I walked into the room, heading towards one of the bigger windows in the center of the room. I looked out before opening it, the brisk air burning my cheeks.

Yelena continued to watch as I leaned over the balcony, looking down at the beautiful coating of snow on the ground below us. We were quite high up, and the snow still fell softly atop my head as I looked out. We were surrounded by trees, coated white, and it went as far as the eye could see.

I sighed softly and scooped up some snow in my hand from the balcony, cupping it until it became a perfect circle.

“Half of your snowman is already done.” She laughed and I let out a heavy sigh.

I looked down at my feet, the snow soaking my thick socks. I took a deep breath, swallowed roughly, and looked down at the ground again.

Pretty far up.

Using what little strength and courage I had left, I hoisted myself up onto the ledge and prepared to jump.

I could hear Yelena screaming in Russian as I plummeted towards the soft snow, the cracking of my leg loud in the silence of the surrounding forest.

I picked myself up, limping weakly, sobbing, and began to run. Run where? Anywhere.

I couldn’t run very fast, it was more like hobbling as I made my escape. I could hear Natasha’s guards screaming in Russian as I made my way into the darkness of the trees.

“Do not shoot, idiots!” Yelena yelled from the balcony, down to the guards in front of the door. “Natalia will have all of your heads!”

The bitter cold did not help the excruciating pain I felt in my right leg. I knew something was broken but I was unable to do anything about it in my current position. I had to keep moving.

I could hear them chasing me, their shouts echoing, reverberating through the trees. I couldn’t see through the snow and tears and before I could react or stop myself, I began rolling down a large hill, falling into rough twigs and bushes before landing, as safely as possible in my current condition, at the bottom.

I lay there helplessly, trying to quiet my sobbing breaths as the screaming got quieter and quieter. They didn’t know where I went. I was safe.

But surely I would die out here.

The snow continued to fall, covering my face with gentle snowflakes. I could almost feel the tears that stained my cheeks freeze over from the intense cold, my heavy breaths visible as I panted softly.

I would die out here.

•

“Foolish girl.” I heard a familiar voice whisper.

It took all my strength to open my eyes, and when I finally did, they filled with tears at the sight.

“Wanda.” I rasped, trying to sit up, but my limbs had absolutely no strength.

“Shh,” she whispered, reaching a hand down to stroke my cheek. “You need your rest.”

“Wanda … how did you …?”

“Don’t worry about that, malyshka. Sleep now.”

I closed my eyes again, content that she was with me, and I was finally safe.

•

“She’s quite delirious.” The doctor said, closing up her bag. “It’s from the fever. If it doesn’t break within twenty-four hours, you should bring her to a hospital.”

Natasha nodded curtly, watching as the girl in her bed writhed and whimpered, her leg in a cast, sweat beading up on her forehead. What a stupid, stupid girl.

“Give her two of these every four hours.” She handed Natasha a slip of paper, a prescription, and she looked down at it in her hand. “Call me if you have any questions.”

Again, Natasha gave her a nod and she gave her a small smile, walking out into the hall where Yelena waited to bring her to the door.

It was a while later when Yelena returned to the room, and Natasha was still standing where she had been when the doctor left, staring at the slumbering girl.

“Natalia,” Yelena spoke quietly, approaching her slowly. “You should get some rest.”

“I’m fine.” She snapped, turning only to hand her the piece of paper she had been holding. “Get these for me.”

She took it, nodding as she left the room. She knew Natasha was angry with her for letting all of this happen. She thought all would be forgiven when they finally found her, but Natasha was still short and cold towards her, punishing her the only way she knew how without violence.

Natasha grabbed the nearby chair and dragged it over to the bed, sitting down next to it and taking hold of her hand.

“That was a stupid thing you did.” She said, swallowing roughly.

She rubbed the pad of her thumb over her pale knuckles, watching as the girl slept. She looked her up and down, staring at the cast for a moment before returning her gaze to her face.

She placed her hand down on her stomach and opened the nightstand drawer next to the bed, pulling out metal cuffs, taking each of her hands and securing them to the headboard.

“Very stupid.”

•

@marvelogic @casquinhaa @mathxa @oh-thats-cute @ornorr @milkeeteaa @souanick @nothanksbye07 @romanoff101 @dracarys8287 @marvelwomen-simp @tigerlillyruiz @lzzysfreak @whatdoyoudo12 @mrsrushman @sherrifhaughtearp

[do-androids-dream-ao3acc]

@bucktommypositivityweek Day 1, season 8 opening disaster. 2,610 words, read on AO3

🐝“We're doomed.”🐝

“Millions of bees?” Chimney asked unbelieving, still clutching the radio. Dispatch had just reported it; in fact, it had been his own wife, and she was definitely not joking on the job. “Killer bees,” Buck corrected, squinting up at the cloudless sky as if they were already pouncing down on the 118. “African honeybees, actually. Nasty, aggressive critters. The whole hive attacks when threatened, and they chase their victims. Saw it on a documentary once.” “Nobody wants to know, Buckley.” Gerrard was just leaving the fire engine and putting on his helmet. ”There's a huge traffic jam ahead of us, and a few miles at the end of it is the truck that caused it. Whether there were millions of bees in it or not, which I personally think is nonsense and an exaggeration, we’re the ones picking up the pieces, so let's get to work.” Buck shouldered his axe, though a noise overhead distracted him. A small plane, a nimble propeller-driven aircraft, was flying pretty low above them. Was he imagining it, or did the pilot briefly wobble its wings? “That's one of ours,” said Eddie, who was now walking beside him, toward the next crashed car. “There are at least two people trapped inside.” "Oh yeah? How do you know?”

“I looked through the windshield, Buck,“ Eddie replied with a bemused look. ”No,” Buck shot back, looking up again, ”that it’s one of our machines?”

“Pry open the door here… yeah, that's it. Get a grip, Buck. I know this because Tommy explained how to recognize the machines. I'm surprised you haven't started spouting off trivia about airplanes and helicopters yet." Hen came running up, tossing Eddie an IV bag which he deftly caught. “We're doing a proper triage," she said. “Oh wait…" She bent over past Eddie, who was busy calming the occupants of the car, two women, appearing frightened, confused and clearly injured. ”Ma'am? We got you. Eddie, hand me a skin clamp, please.” Buck, standing behind her, was already looking for the next car from which someone needed to be freed. He recognized from her tone of voice that she had discovered something bad in that car, but that the person concerned should not notice under any circumstances. Eddie rummaged in the emergency bag, and Hen asked in a conversational tone, “What do you think they need a plane for? It's not exactly a forest fire.” “It's a crop-dusting plane, I think,“ Eddie replied. ‘It's probably supposed to spray chemicals against the bees.’ ”Against millions of bees?” “Well, how else are they going to get rid of them? Buck, I think I heard Gerrard call you!" Buck turned around and saw the captain pointing at two cars wedged into each other, a scowl on his face that furrowed his forehead. I better hurry, he thought, and he was right about that.

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Of all the things Tommy had ever done with an airplane, this was probably the craziest.

The mission had been anything but normal from the start. Millions of bees had escaped from the truck in an accident on the highway, dispatch reported. Killer bees, goaded and stressed, now following an instinct. Whatever bees do, maybe they want to pollinate something. Tommy took a look at the controls – everything was fine – and thought of Evan.

Of course, it was the worst possible time to think about the man who’d turned his head, but then again, it wasn't. Evan would probably have a lot of exciting prattle about bees. Tommy briefly pondered what he knew about them… well, wasn’t much. Right now, what mattered was his job; the only idea Animal Control had come up with, He was supposed to fly as close as possible to the swarm and spray biocides. First, the smoke would irritate the insects and disorient them, then kill them in no time. He already felt sorry for those who would have to sweep millions of dead bees off the streets at the end of the day.

Tommy kept to the west of the highway; according to his information, the bees had set off directly towards the city. He steered the machine low, the bees didn't reach that high of an altitude. A few red spots below him told Tommy that the emergency services had already reached the scene, and Evan would be among them, no doubt. The people down there were safe. However, that didn't apply to a large part of L.A., if those bees were to cause trouble there. With such a large number of aggressive animals, you didn't even have to be allergic to die from their stings.

“FLX-126, this is Air Control,” croaked his radio. “Kinard, the population has been warned to close windows and doors, you have clearance. Catch the beasts before they reach the city.“

”Copy that. I’ll take up the chase against the bees.“

Evan would find that funny.

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”Hurry up, Buckley, there's an oil slick up ahead that needs to be secured. You want half the pileup to blow up? One spark is all it takes!”

“I'm nearly there, Captain,” Buck shouted, helping a shivering elderly gentleman out of the car. He had almost torn the door off its hinges trying to free him, but after a quick check, it seemed that the man was all right, except for an ugly gash on his forehead. Not the first miracle today. ”The ambulances are over there, please go to them, they will take care of you.”

“Buckley!"

Buck liked to imagine Gerrard as a nagging little man who would tear himself apart in the forest in a rage, but reality was no fairy tale. Reality was an operation on a chaotic road smeared with oil and blood, where a hazardous materials truck full of bees had left a trail of devastation. A mission with dozens of trapped people who had to be freed using heavy equipment and muscle power, and Buck was already dripping with sweat. But there was no time to catch a breath, not when Gerrard was in this mood.

“Get the binder!” Gerrard snapped, while simultaneously impelling Chimney, ‘There are still people trapped up ahead, so get your ass in gear!’

Gerrard's arms were gesturing in both directions. Now Buck knew a better comparison than a vicious fairy-tale creature — Gerrard reminded him of General Grievous, who could lash out with four arms at once. He jogged over to the captain, giving the oil slick a skeptical glance. It was big, yes, but a simple barrier should suffice to start with; there were more important things to do right now.

“The binder is in the truck, and it's almost half a mile down the highway,“ he said.

”So?“ Gerrard's Adam's apple jumped up and down angrily. Buck stared at it, fascinated.

”I should help Chimney, there seems to be a problem up ahead.”

Buck pointed to his brother-in-law, who was trying with great effort to break open a wedged car door.

“The 126 is further ahead, they’ll be fine. The oil slick is here.” Gerrard said with narrowed eyes. The guy needs glasses, Buck thought.

Now he knew why Gerrard wanted to keep him here. He was probably afraid that Tommy was on duty up ahead and they would meet. Moreover, the captain of the 126 was not very fond of Gerrard, and Gerrard would have to stop his annoying harassment for a while. At least Buck would then have been able to work in peace as he saw fit... the way Bobby had taught him, not that stupid old geezer with his old-fashioned rules. However, he was convinced that Tommy was on the plane that had just made a loop above them and then turned west. For a second, he pondered whether it was worth rebelling against Gerrard, but then he thought of all the people who were still trapped and hurt, looking for help. Buck took a deep breath.

“All right,” he growled and jogged across the highway to the fire engine.

At least Tommy is having an exciting time.

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When Tommy spotted the swarm of bees, his mouth went dry.

He didn't know what he had actually expected, but the sight was... sobering. Not to mention scary, even from up here. Millions of bees formed a dense cluster that only frayed a little at the edges. It was an enormous cloud of insects that almost looked like a single animal; a huge, billowing monster moving towards the city.

Evan would have a better comparison for it, he thought briefly. But even his brave, extremely adorable boyfriend would probably freak out if he could see this. Tommy, in any case, sensed that only an adrenaline rush was keeping him from simply turning the plane around and leaving as quickly as possible. That, and his sense of duty. Damn it.

The swarm was now already close to one of the city's outskirts, a peaceful suburbia with neat terraced houses and cute gardens. Gardens that would soon be invaded by so many bees that every living being down there would be buried beneath them. He couldn’t allow that to happen. Tommy gripped the stick more firmly, lowering the machine a couple of feet.

These critters were already much too close to L.A. There had been warnings through the usual apps, but people were people. He knew there would be enough who hadn't noticed or were just too ignorant. Some of them would be hit by the chemicals, no doubt. And Tommy knew that theoretically that shouldn't bother him; he had a job to do. But only people like Gerrard would consider the consequences to be collateral damage. If Tommy released the biocide now, it would not only destroy the bees, but also cause a lot of damage in the pretty little gardens below him – and in the groundwater. A crazy idea formed in his head. There wasn't much time to make up his mind.

He pushed the controls down, added a little thrust and flew straight into the swarm.

It was a strange feeling, a bit like floating through cotton wool. The bees were briefly startled, but kept their pace. It wouldn't be enough to make them change course, and Tommy had to hurry – the longer he flew through the middle of the swarm, the more likely it was that they would sit on his windshields until he couldn't see anything. Or that too many of them would fly into the propellers until they clogged them and he would lose control. Tommy gritted his teeth. All or nothing, he thought, and waggled the wings to stir them up. Then he yanked the plane sharply to the left, flew a small loop, and glanced behind. The bees followed him; the cloud of insects, which had only briefly scattered, had reformed into a dense, angry mass, and they were on his tail.

Next target: Kinard, he thought. Off to the desert with you.

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That evening, as Buck unlocked the door to the loft, dirty and tired, he was greeted by an extremely pleasant scent. It smelled like... lasagna? He had barely closed the door when his stomach growled.

“Interesting greeting, Evan,” Tommy called to him from the kitchen counter.

Tommy, to whom he had given a copy of the keys to his apartment only two weeks ago. Buck's heart gave a happy little jump. He was also a little jealous, though, because Tommy was obviously freshly showered, and he felt like he had just come out of the garbage disposal. However... the sight of his boyfriend, with his hair still damp and slightly wavy at the ends, and apparently wearing one of Buck's T-shirts that stretched in all the right places... His throat tightened and he cleared it.

“My stomach's as happy to see you as the rest of me,“ he replied, and with two quick steps he was at Tommy, kissing him fondly while he glanced at the stove. Lasagna, definitely.

”Mmm,” Tommy purred appreciatively, ”ten more minutes. Maybe you want to change quickly? You kinda reek of oil.”

Buck groaned. “Gerrard had me do all the dirty work,” he complained, as he dropped onto a chair at the kitchen table. “That truck with the killer bees? It skidded because the driver – who, by the way, was very lucky to survive – was frightened by a spider in the cab. Can you imagine? The guy had millions of bees on board, and he freaked out because of a spider that had come right down on his nose.“

”You call me if you find a spider in the shower,” Tommy remarked as he stirred salad in a bowl.

“Because I find touching them gross. And because it's not right to just flush them down the drain. Did you know that spiders are very important to the ecosystem?“

”Hm. But I guess you would have been scared, too.”

“Maybe,“ Buck admitted. ‘Anyway, the guy swerved so hard that he caused a huge accident on the highway. Dozens were injured, it's a miracle that no one died. The trail of devastation stretched for a few miles across the roadway.’

”Including an oil slick, it seems to me,” Tommy teased him.

Buck raised an arm and smelled his armpits.

“Yuck. Yeah. Gerrard had me mopping up oil, securing the roadway, extinguishing tiny fires on the shoulder... I was lucky I could free four or five people from their cars before he sent me off to do some useless crap again.”

"The guy really has it in for you.”

“It's the medal,” Buck said, while he pushed a few of the carrot pieces, that Tommy had already cut but not yet added to the salad, into his mouth, ”He can't stand that I was decorated and he's been stumbling on the career ladder for forty years.”

“Hmmm,” Tommy went and quickly threw the rest of the vegetables into the bowl before Buck could contaminate them even more. ”That, or it's just because he's got a stick up his ass.”

Buck laughed briefly, then sighed. “It was a crazy operation, and I could have helped a lot more people. Tommy, I saw your plane for a second today. I bet you had a much more exciting day. A huge swarm of bees right under your plane, and you destroyed them all before they could wreak havoc on the city!”

The look he shot Tommy was admiring, and Tommy grinned. He thought about how he had almost peed his pants flying his plane in front of a giant swarm of aggressive bees, and that flying right into them had been a pretty crazy move. About the maneuver he had flown over the desert, that had almost cost him an engine because he had to try to get above the swarm again to release the biocide. He thought of the moment when a few of the killer bees had broken away from the collective and actually, as he had feared, settled on his cockpit windshield to narrow his view. And he thought about how the flap had jammed when he was directly over the swarm, how the sweat had run down his back and he could hardly breathe. How he had thought of the thousands of people who would be in danger if he didn't finish this; among them Evan.

“It wasn't that exciting,” he said modestly. ‘To be honest, dropping a few chemicals is a simple job, nothing to write home about. You should really take a shower, babe. After that, you can tell me more about Gerrard's exploits, okay?’

He leaned over to breathe a kiss just above Evan’s birthmark, and his smile was worth the little lie.

[asvtrials]

LUNCH [one.]

Navarro x fem!reader

minors dni!

summary: After a rather nasty breakup with Bjorn you try to avoid the group as much as possible and you're doing a good job until you find yourself in Corbelan IV with your best friend. warnings: angst, not proofread, maybe ooc, swearing, part two will contain smut. a/n: This fic is very much inspired by LUNCH by Billie Eilish specifically the following lyrics "I've said it all before, but I'll say it again, I'm interested in more than just bein' your friend. I don't wanna break it, just want it to bend. Do you know how to bend?" sooo... w/c: 2360

You tried to ignore the continuous vibrations of your wristwatch, continuing to move away from the truck, the rough handles of the box scraping your palms. You let the box hit the ground with a loud thud, the annoying buzzing sound made you groan 

It's been almost a month since you and Bjorn broke up but the hurtful words that were thrown your way still stung you. Who are you kidding, you said some nasty bullshit too.

It was always like that with Bjorn. Some laughs and good sex that left you satisfied to ignore the dysfunction in your relationship, if you can even call it.

He never called it that, never even called you his girlfriend, never asked you out, never told you how much he liked you—unless it was after sex and he was all fucked out. It was always, his ‘friend’, his ‘buddy’, his ‘something’ but you never felt like he was yours. 

So all that bubbling anger and insecurity led to a fight more intense than any you’ve ever had and you stormed out.

You felt guilty every time you came up with an excuse to avoid a meeting until you simply didn't answer at all.

You did this, you distanced yourself from them and you had no right to be hurt but you couldn't help the sting that followed every time you saw the name of the caller

It was always Kay, sometimes Rain and Tyler, and you loved them all. But never the person you considered your closest friend.

Being in such a fickle situation, you often found yourself thinking who would stick around. They were all family and you were just an outsider, even if they never made you feel like it, you knew it was true.

But there was always someone that made you feel like something more. You didn’t know how, or why but she did. Navarro.

You thought you built something, a friendship and you weren't just her brother's boyfriend. But you must've been mistaken, because there wasn't a time you saw her name pop on the wristwatch.

But that didn't matter anymore.

The day was unbearable. Everything was annoying you and you had to restrain yourself from throwing the drill to the ground and walking away several times throughout the day.

When it was finally time to clock out after eleven exhausting hours you rushed to the locker room and got your things.

Normally you'd just walk right out, the supervisors ignoring you like they ignored the rest of the workers, but this time one of them stopped you before you could reach the door.

“Worker #233 your shift isn't finished.”

“What?” You frowned. “Eleven hours, I just clocked out” You argued, turning to face the guard.

“You owe the company eight more hours according to our records.” He spoke, voice monotone.

“What are you talking about? I didn't miss any days and I wasn't late a single day.” You were starting to lose your patience and it was clear in your voice. You just wanted to go home and crash on your bed.

“You have registered to fill in for another worker, yet you never fulfilled the quota. Worker #5583.” He informed you. You stared at him, clearly confused. “Marie Rain Carradine if the files are correct.” He corrected in irritation.

Fuck. 

This one time Rain fell down hard, hitting her knee in the process. The poor girl couldn't even walk straight, so you offered to take her place, take her home, and fill in the hours when you were needed. Did it have to be today?

“You are needed in the spacecraft maintenance department.” He told you, clearly as tired of this conversation as you were. 

“Seriously? Maintenance?” You raised a brow.

“You want to go back to the mines” He countered, quickly silencing you.

You returned to the clock-in room with a loud sigh, not really caring to hide your exhaustion as you approached the counter. You stared at the lady behind the glass, eyes tired and uninterested. 

The lady didn't seem to care as she took your worker's card and scanned it.

“Y/n L/n, right? You are assigned to perform a maintenance assessment on ‘Corbelan IV’.” She announced and gave you back your card, expecting you to get the tools and get out but you stared at the woman with wide eyes. She stared back at you, her gaze confused.

“Corbelan IV?” You asked, hoping you misheard.

“Yes, there's a shortage in staff” She answered unenthusiastically.

No, fuck no.

“Isn't, um, isn't there another ship?” You hesitantly asked. 

Panic started to sip through you while the woman lowered her glasses, staring at you disapprovingly.

“Like— isn't there another ship? Or something—anything, really.” You rambled the more the woman stared.

She raised a brow before pushing the card closer to you and turning back to her computer screen, seemingly done with the conversation.

“Fucking cunt” you mumbled under your breath as you grabbed the card.

You grabbed the tools from the shelf and walked out, the cold air hitting your face again. But you refused to move any faster, trying to stall as much as you could.

You spend too much time on this ship to know that it wasn't just any mining hauler, it was Navarro's baby. And most of the time the entire crew was there “cleaning and checking” it. In reality, you were there to drink and laugh and maybe actually do your work.

When you finally arrived you stared at the enormous craft for a while. This is going to be awkward…

You walked around until you finally found the ladder and pushed yourself up. Once you entered the ship you didn't hear any chatter from inside, even though the gate was wide open.

You just hoped Bjorn wasn’t here and by the quietness that filled this place, you guessed he wasn’t.

You walked deeper into the ship finding the second ladder to the cockpit and climbing, your boots making noise in contrast to how quiet the entire ship was.

“Kay, that you?” 

Navarro. You should have guessed.

You stopped in your tracks, hearing her deep voice after so long sent shivers down your spine.

“Uh, no. Not Kay.” You spoke after a beat.

The silence around you shifted into an uncomfortable silence so intense that you considered turning around and walking away.

But the sound of the small hum forced you to stay put.

No turning back now.

You continued climbing, finally seeing the yellow light of Navarro’s desk light. You forced yourself to lift your eyes once you stepped into the cockpit. 

There she was, awkwardly standing with her arms folded as she leaned against the back of her pilot seat watching you.

“Hey.” She spoke softly. She really tried to seem relaxed but her hand slowly lifted to scratch the back of her neck.

Such a funny habit of hers. You remember trying to keep yourself from giggling every time you saw her in awkward situations. She looked so unbothered until you noticed how she nervously rubbed the back of her neck.

It wasn't funny now.

Your eyes avoided her as you spoke “Hey.”

You remembered the toolbox in your hand and lifted it a bit to hopefully divert her attention to the item.

Her eyes took some time to leave your face, slowly falling to the toolbox. A small frown appeared on her face but it was quickly pushed away. “Oh yeah.” she mumbled.

You tensed as she approached you, leaning closer to you to take the object from your hand. You tried to ignore how close her cheek was to yours or how cold her fingers were when they gently wrapped around yours—well not around your hand but the handle of the toolbox.

Her fingers were always cold, no matter how warm the place was. She would always stand behind you, her tall physique made it very easy for her to rest her chin on your head or shoulder as her hands slid inside your pockets, squeezing your warm hands in hers and laughing when you yelped at the contact.

This time her fingers quickly moved away, taking the box with her. Her boots thud loudly against the metal floor as she walked to her pilot chair and placed the object on the cushiony seat.

The uncomfortable silence made you feel compelled to start the conversation.

“How have you been?” You asked quietly, awkwardly moving closer to her.

“Fine. You?” She answered, her loud rummaging through the toolbox echoing across the empty ship.

You weren't sure If you wanted to be truthful—if she wanted to hear about her brother's ex talking shit about him.

But she was your friend, right? You weren't just Bjorn's girlfriend all this time, right?

You ignored your consciousness screaming for you to keep your mouth shut.

You embarrassingly noticed the sweat that covered your hands and quickly wiped them on your shirt suddenly glad that the girl was turned the other way.

“Not that good, if I'm being honest” You replied with a small sigh.

The girl froze for a moment, not sure how to respond to your honesty. Eventually, she turned to face you with a hesitant smile appearing on her face momentarily “I get it. Breakups are tough.” 

“It wasn't a breakup” You argued, you couldn't contain the bitterness in your tone. “ We were never together to begin with.” 

You wanted to stop—really, but you just couldn't. With a groan, you slumped on a nearby seat.

“I mean don't get me wrong, being in a relationship with someone like Bjorn sounds like an actual nightmare—No offense…” You quickly added, sending Navarro an apologetic look.

“None taken,” Navarro said with a chuckle slowly approaching you. “Trust me, shit-talking Bjorn isn't new to me”

“Yeah.” You laughed, throat closing up a bit when she sat on the seat next to you.

“So I'm all ears. Why do you hate Bjorn—sorry, that asshole” She said with a mischievous smile.

But suddenly you didn't want to talk about Bjorn.

You couldn't.

Having her next to you after so long felt too good. So good that you couldn't stop your lips from curling into a smile.

“I don't want to talk about him.” He murmured, eyes meeting her amused ones.

“I missed talking to you, Varro.” You whispered, bumping her shoulder with your own softly. There was a certain melancholy in your tone, a small question lingering in your mind.

“Why didn't you call?”

You watched the playfulness in her eyes slowly turn into something else, something like guilt.

Maybe she was thinking the same thing, because she wasn't answering, just searching in your eyes for something before suddenly standing

Your eyes followed her with a frown as she walked to the pilot seat sitting down. Everything about her changed. Her friendly demeanor flipped to a much more distant one.

You hesitantly stood up. “I know I didn't answer and all but I didn't know what to say, i mean you guys are Bjorn's family” You tried to defend yourself while staring at the back of her head.

But the only thing Navarro offered you was a slow nod.

“I would've answered to you.” You confessed, blood rushing to your cheeks.

It was true. If Navarro called you you'd pick up the call without a second thought, the idea of hearing her voice enough to make you push past initial awkwardness.

She paid no mind to you, didn't even spare you a glance yet you were standing here like an idiot, essentially begging for her forgiveness. You bit your lip, cheeks burning with shame.

“I know. That's why I didn't call you” The words came out quick. Too quick. Her own eyes widened and she immediately turned to face you, obviously surprised that she let those words slip out.

You just stared at each other for a long beat, not sure what to say.

“That sounded wrong, I didn't mean it like t—” She attempted.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” You shouted, the burning in your cheeks was now a product of anger.

She sighed, running a hand through her buzzed head but her lack of response only fuelled your anger.

“What am I inconveniencing you by coming here? By talking to you?” You asked, not expecting an answer before continuing “I'm sorry Navarro, I thought we were fucking friends!” 

“We are!” Navarro began, attempting to approach you. You could see the remorse in her eyes but you couldn't stand here anymore, the stinging in your eyes becoming unbearable

No, you weren't going to cry here, you weren't going to fall this low.

“Clearly we fucking weren't!” You spoke as you walked to the ladder, climbing down without missing a beat. “Cause it looks like all I fucking was, was Bjorn’s girlfriend that you had to put up with” 

“That's fucking bullshit!” Navarro argued but it didn't matter anymore, you were going down faster, getting out of her eyesight.

The girl walked closer, looking down at you from the gap on the floor but you refused to look up.

“Y/n you can't seriously believe that shit!” Navarro's desperate voice echoed in the ship and as the elevator got closer to the surface of the ship, you jumped down with a loud thud. 

You don't remember how you got out of there. You don't even remember what stupid excuse you came up with to tell the supervisors but you remember Navarro trying to call out your name. 

The moment you got home you tossed your clothes to the ground and got inside the shower.

The moment the water fell on your burning body you felt the walls around you crack. With a choked sob your tears started flowing.

Navarro was special, she was special to you. And you thought you were special to her too.

The way she talked to you, the way she comforted you, the way she looked at you.

When you laid in your bed feeling small and pathetic and a like fucking moron for believing that you weren't just Bjorn's ‘friend’ and now ex all this time.

[the-s1lly-corner]

A Rock (Hoodie x Reader) (Ending 6)

It took a few extra days but it's done! Sorry if this is a little off, Ive been in a bit of a funk lately and im only just getting back into writing fics so this may be iffy grrr as usual, there will be a poll at the bottom to determine the next ending hooray notes: reader is gn, nonverbal hoodie, he uses sign language, you are learning sign but arent very good yet, asl is used here cws: none word count: 2.1k

You reach your hand into the hat and pull out…

A rock. The kind you can find just anywhere, it was nothing special. If anything it was heavy in your hand as you curled your fingers around it and displayed it to everyone in the room. You glanced at Jeff for an answer, and even he seemed to be at a loss for who put it in. At least, that was until a tall figure stepped closer and stood over his shoulder.

Hoodie.

Jeff didn’t even notice him until the taller man pointed at you- or perhaps the rock- from over Jeff’s shoulder. “Christ-” Jeff barked as he spun around and glared up to the proxy. Hoodie gave no response, his gaze seemingly fixed right onto you. His mask made him impossible to read, but you couldn’t help but fight the need to squirm under his eyes. You slowly rise to your feet and circle around the couch. By the time you joined the pair Jeff had calmed himself enough to attempt to drag you down the hall to the closet you’d spend the next seven minutes in. 

“Seven minutes,” Jeff huffed, still clearly miffed from being startled. 

You give him one last glance as you back up into the closet, your back making contact with the wall of flesh behind you right as the door closes. You jolt, and spin around to face the proxy in front of you. He was so much taller than Masky or Toby, and he nearly took up all of the free space in the closet. You push yourself against the door and cane your neck awkwardly to him as he tried to hunch himself to fit under the shelf above his head… the sight slightly undoing some of the nerves eating away at you. 

“I guess the closet is too small, huh?” You ask in an attempt to break the silence. The words felt stupid as they left your mouth, but you couldn’t take them back now. Hoodie paused in his struggle, and stared at you. The red frowny face on his mask was nearly impossible to see in the dark… you weren’t sure if he looked more intimidating with or without it. 

He didn’t say anything, and for a moment you thought he hadn’t heard you- until he raised his hand and made a motion. Multiple motions with both hands, actually. 

He was signing. 

How could you forget? You’ve seen him signing to some of the others before. 

Yet that didn’t aid you in trying to decipher what he was saying, the limited studying of sign language only barely aiding you. 

“Wait-” Your eyes darted from his hands to his face. “I’m not… the best at sign,” 

Hoodie’s hands pause in mid air for a few seconds, before signing once more.

This batch of signs you could understand.

He was tall, and the closet was small. You being here did nothing to help- though with the way he conveyed his body language he didn’t sound accusatory. At least, you think so.

You clasp your hands together and look away once he finishes. You scrape your brain in order to find something to say, anything to start a conversation. You weren’t sure if you could handle seven minutes in absolutely silence- with nothing being said or signed.

“You know, maybe when we’re out of here you can give me some pointers on how I’m doing- I mean, with the signing. I’ve been trying to figure it out so you have someone else to talk to asides Masky, and uh… Toby… and I guess Slenderman…” You mutter, trailing off as Hoodie lightly waved his hand to get your attention.

“You were learning for me?” Was what you picked up, you hoped you were correct. 

You nod and swallow the uncomfortable lump in your throat. “Yeah, I mean… I’m not very good at it but I know how to finger spell and I know some of the bare basic signs, still trying to figure out full sentences and… stuff…” You offer a shrug. 

He grows still for a long moment. 

A very long moment. 

You drum your fingers along the back of the door. “Do… you want to switch spots? Being scrunched up like that can’t be comfortable,” 

That seems to bring him back, and he nods. He’s the first to start moving first, shuffling against the wall in order to not squish you while also not tripping on anything unseen on the floor. You’d think that they’d sweep through the closet before using it for a game played in the dark, however that… did not seem to be the case as Hoodie’s feet gets caught on something on the floor- a spare jacket or something of the like. The sudden shift sends him falling forward, and if he hadn’t slammed his hands on either side of you he would have crushed you against the door with his entire weight. His face came to a stop next to yours, you couldn’t feel his breath on you but you could most certainly hear it as he tried to regain him composure. This was quite possibly the most noise you’ve heard from him from the entire time you’ve known him. 

You hear footsteps outside before they pause. Then;

“You alright-t?” 

It was Toby. 

You try to steady your breath, which only proved to be near impossible as Hoodie kept you trapped between him and the door. “We’re..” You start, only now aware that the fall and scramble had slightly pushed Hoodie’s mask up to reveal his lower jaw.

You never took him for one to have some facial hair…

“We’re fine, Hoodie just slipped on something,” You finally draw out. You bring your hands to the man’s wrists and try to help him up. He continues to slip on whatever has been left on the floor. 

Toby only gives a soft okay, before walking away after a moment of lingering. 

He finally manages to get to his feet- not only that but he quickly switches positions in an instant before he has the chance to slip once more. It happens so fast that you hardly have time to register it before the force of movement has you tugged right against his chest. It’s a few seconds later that he releases your wrists. 

And of course, he slammed loud into the door for a second time… what were the others thinking was happening? You didn’t want to think about it. 

You could feel his heart beating in his chest as you shifted your face around to look up at him. Despite being released, you remained in the pose you landed in against him… you finally let your hands fall to a rest at your sides. 

With a mask covered face, it made it easy for you to stare at him for a little longer than you would like to admit. No visible eyes made you feel too comfortable remaining pressed deep against him. Though, he didn’t make any attempt to remove you from him. In fact, he remained entirely still under you. 

When he did budge, it was to raise his hands to the edges of his mask and pull it back down to cover the parts that were exposed to you. You… weren’t sure what came over you, but your hands found themselves back around his wrists- holding them in place as his fingers hooked on his mask.

“Wait…” You say, half muffled as you shift your mouth away from the fabric of his jacket. “Can…” 

His hands twitched in your grasp.

“Can I see?” You asked softly. 

Hoodie’s hands remained still as he turned your request over in his head. Enough of his face was visible that you could see dimples forming and unforming on his jaw as he seemingly worked unspoken words in his mouth. 

…then he slowly started to raise his hands, slowly revealing his face.

You… actually weren’t expecting him to be so quick to show you…

As it rised, you could see the facial hair lining his jaw clearly now, he seemed to be a few days past a shave- nothing too much, faint nonetheless. Your eyes raked across each feature as they revealed themselves- first his mouth, then his nose and cheeks, and finally his eyes. They were tired, but there was something intense in them that shot warmth through you. 

He let the mask rest scrunched up at his hairline, pushing back any hair he might have had- keeping it out of sight. He must have had short hair. 

Your eyes flick across each part of his face before settling somewhere away from the look his eyes were giving you. 

“You look…”

He tilts his head to the side.

“..Nice…” you manage to get out, and offer him a smile. He matches it. He lightly shakes his hands, reminding you that they were still held captive by yours- did you help him lift the mask, or was he simply letting you keep your hands there? 

Regardless you tug your hands away and place them somewhere on his upper arms. “You should take your mask off more often, at least around the mansion,” 

Hoodie shakes his face, but does not elaborate. You decide not to push him.

Besides, this was nice, wasn’t it? How many people could say that they’ve seen what he’s got hidden away? Not a lot, you were sure.

A secret shared between the two of you. 

You open your mouth only to screw it shut as someone knocked on the door. 

“One minute!” Jeff called out from the otherside. 

One minute? Already? 

Your eyes dart from Hoodie’s face to the door behind him, then back to his face. 

“Alright-” Jeff keeps knocking. “Alright! We heard!” 

Jeff gave one last knock before ceasing.

“You know…” You rest your head on Hoodie’s chest. “My doors always open if you want to come help me learn my signs, that offer is still open,” You smile. 

He… actually returns it.

His hands find themselves to your shoulders and gently push you off of him. His hands remain as he stares hard at you. 

“What? Do you need a payment for your time?” You tease. He shakes his head, but you find enough boldness inside you to tug him down to your height. “You know for a game about kissing and other things, we didn’t do anything,” 

You felt him warm under your touch as he picked up on what you were saying. 

A kiss for his time, if he wanted it. 

He seemed to weigh his options, fully aware that whatever happened next wouldn’t affect the offer to teach you later. 

He leaned in quick and pressed his lips against yours. It was hardly a peck, it was over as quick as it started. It took nothing for him to pull himself out of your grasp and rise to his full height. He tugged his mask down over his face just mere seconds before the door opened- but you caught the smirk tugging across his face before it was hidden away.

“You-” You hiss playfully, only to cut yourself off as the light blinded you. 

“Alright, both of you out!” Jeff stood to the side, tilting his head to the side to try to get a good look at the two of you. Asides from the stumbling, neither of you looked particularly roughed up. That… did not seem to stop the “knowing” look Jeff gave you as you shuffled out into the hallway, still reeling from the peck Hoodie had given you. “Man he really fucked you up didn’t he,” Jeff teased. You shoot him a glare that he only waves off, he tells you don’t need to play another round if you’re too spent.

You glare holes into the back of his head as he walked back to the living room where everyone else was… until Hoodie taps on your shoulder. You spin on your heel to face him, quickly softening your face. 

He points at you, and swirls his pointer fingers around in a loose circle. He then points his index finger to the ceiling…

No, he’s asking if you want to go upstairs and start your signing lessons.

You smile, and nod. “I didn’t think you’d want to start so soon,”

Not that you were complaining. 

“You’ll have to go easy on me, though, not at all a quick learner…” You mutter as you walked with him down the hall and towards the stairs. You ignore the looks some of the others gave the two of you as you both passed by.

[ultimatelyre]

Izuku should apologize for what exactly? Besides, it's obvious that the only thing you're interested it's Bakugou, Midoriya can be struck by lightning, and you would surely be happy if BK ended up with any character and Midoriya was left alone or with an unrequited crush, because in the end only Bakugou matters, right?

This is why so many are upset with bkdk shippers, I didn't see any complaining about Izuku's mistreatment with his resolution with Tomura, just shippers thinking that Midoriya should feel bad for bk or that bk paid for his suit. Where were bkdk shippers when they killed off Midoriya's character way back then?

No man, see, this is why i made sure to put disclaimers at length. If you look at my blog (I'm not asking you to do so for attention, just for proof ig) you will see that all my reblogged fanarts or fanfics are IZUKU with someone, whether it be bakugou or ochako or todoroki. (max are bakudeku i wont lie, but that doesnt mean I lack objectivity)

and no, if you see the fanfics ive written myself, I think I have been always been "everyone likes deku" inclined. (again, not advertisement, i just see you making blatant assumptions about me hating deku based on one word. __ An "apology" doesn't mean i hate him, it just means it feels veryyy out of character for izuku to blow off a chance to work with katsuki so easily) I'm not butthurt you are expressing an opinion against mine, I'm just saying that you read the word "apology" and took off about me hating Izuku whereas I was just bummed about deku not being hero pair with bakugou, but i have clearly stated that the fault lies in hastefully written endings, not izuocha being canon.

in simple words: it would be more natural to have izuocha canon earlier on and then bakudeku as hero pair (the sequence horikoshi chose to do so left a bad taste in my mouth) and gave ammunition for ppl who just need triggers within this fandom.

if any bkdk shippers are acting rudely and plain toxic, i get this sentiment towards them, but I've contributed to the discourse in a correct way i believe, pls lmk if i contradict myself anywhere also I'm new at tumblr so i thought i was writing you a personal message but turns out I'm replying in front of everyone so I'm a bit embarrassed, regardless i stand by everything i said.

And there is a reason I didnt tag this and my previous post with Izuocha, because my intention was to steer a healthy discourse/actions amongst ppl who are feeling bummed out, not create some drama :)

[eddiediazismyhusband]

Okay dude, not cool. I don't appreciate being called a problem when I'm trying my best to make this work for everybody. But my point is that some people will always complain. If you are happy with the tagging, I guarantee there will be somebody else who is pissed at the same tags. And why? Because it's a grey area, especially in those fics where the love interest shifts from Tommy to Eddie.

Who is to tell at which point you should tag which ship? In your scenario it's pretty obvious I won't argue that. But that isn't always the case. So you as writer got to make a decision. Tag it Buddie and the BT stans will flip. Tag it Bucktommy and the Buddie stans get mad. There's no winning. Tag both? That might work if it's a clear 50-50 between the pairings.

And that's not even taking my intentions as the writer into consideration. I have a clear vision in my head while writing, but to get there we might need some Bucktommy. Is it enough to warrant it's own tag? It's a grey area! Hence the exhaustion.

It isn’t a grey area, anon… it quite literally is tagging the fics as they are. If BT is central to the story then tag it as such— if people don’t wanna read BT then they don’t have to read it if it’s tagged. It’s not cool to mistag fics when people already have a plethora of tags filtered out and shouldn’t still be getting shit showing up.

you just agreed that in my scenario that it was obvious- so why are you still whining in my inbox? sending me anonymous messages trying to tell me what is and isn’t “exhausting” as a fic writer when i literally am one— im literally currently writing a buddie fic rn that’s centered around marisol keeping them apart… and yknow what? its gonna be tagged as an eddiesol fic bc they are together for like half the story! and yknow what else? its gonna be tagged clearly that eddiesol isn’t endgame! so that way, if people don’t wanna read it bc they either wanna read eddiesol or bc they wanna read buddie then they can filter out the tags respectively or they can scroll past it! but what im not going to do is tag it as “minor eddiesol” and then spend over half the fic w them together because that’s not accurate tagging.

If a fic is tagged “bt”, then as a buddie stan im not gonna read it— most buddie stans ive seen getting upset about fics in this situation are mad bc of the absence of a bt tag when there should be one. That’s the crux of this issue. No one is upset about the bt tag being there in a buddie fic if bt is a central part of the story (like i literally said in my response to your previous message), we’re upset about the absence of tags/or using tags that don’t accurately describe the fic at hand.

i have never seen a “grey area” of people getting upset about something being tagged when it’s correct— everyone i’ve seen are upset over the fact that there are fics tagged as buddie, and not bt when they are clearly bt fics and vice versa.

you say that if you’re writing a buddie fic and it needs bt to get there does it warrant a tag? yes it does bc that ship is part of the story! and unless it actually plays a minor role, then don’t tag it as “minor.”

This “grey area” you’re talking about doesn’t exist in the way you are trying to paint it out. People don’t wanna click on a fic that has content that isn’t tagged, that’s not fair to the reader.

as far as my response being “not cool” for pointing something out the way i see it… you opened yourself up to be responded to the moment you sent me an anonymous message trying to make excuses for not tagging fics correctly.

please block me if you’re going to keep pushing this argument; i am not going to keep responding to you.

and if you need further proof of people disagreeing with your argument, might i suggest looking at these responses to my posts on the matter: people on both sides of the “ship war” agreeing with my point (names and pfp’s have been redacted for privacy reasons)

[closetsof-backlogged-dreams]

HI QUEEN!!!! thoughts on the vision morgause showed to arthur and her motivations/was she lying/ should Arthur have killed uther?

AHHHHHH IVE BEEN WANTED TO BE ASKED THIS AND I DIDNT EVEN KNOW IT

alright so i think the first thing that needs to be considered is what her intentions were when she showed him the vision. i think the main consensus is that she wanted Arthur to kill Uther, and while i agree, i think Morgause deserves a few more layers than that. i genuinely think Morgause wanted the truth to be known.

imo, from what we've seen, Morgause is extremely similar to Morgana. in the early seasons, Morgana is justice with kindness. Morgause is justice without. Later, we watch Morgause slowly "corrupt" Morgana and watch her lose her kindness, turning her into the heartless villain she is by season five.

i think Morgause, while not out of the deep goodness of her heart, saw the injustice, and wanted it to be corrected. this manifested mostly in the form of Uther's death, but i do believe a small part of her just wanted the truth to be known :)

whether or not she was lying is something we will never truly know, but she could have been lying about two different things, and i want to attack them separately.

i 100% believe she wasn't lying about Uther using magic for Arthur's birth. i've wondered A LOT how the fuck she knew though, because sorry, who told her?? and merlin is the show it is, so it doesn't tell you these things, but there are enough breadcrumbs left behind so that we can assume she was a pupil of Nimueh's and learned of it from her.

but whether it was actually a vision of Ygraine? i really don't know. i'm not going to lie, the first time i saw the scene, it gave me all the wrong vibes. the ghost of Ygraine is able to meet her son for >5 minutes and one of the maybe two things she says to him is about how Uther used magic to birth Arthur and it killed her?? i don't know. it's strange.

but we also have to remember that we actually don't know anything about Ygraine! honestly, the fandom and fics tend to mention her x10 more than the actual show does. Arthur hardly speaks of her, as well as Uther, and we have to remember that this is the man who essentially killed his wife and is forced to live with that every goddamn day and is 100% romanticizing the woman she was—and then all Arthur has ever heard of her is this romanticized version from his father, and this is the dead mother he's never met. he's going to do some embellishing of her own.

so, for all we know, Ygraine was a terrible person. we really don't know. so i have no conclusive answer to whether or not Morgause was lying about it being a vision, and i think the show actually intended it that way. because that doesn't actually matter. what Ygraine said—that's the truth. the cold, honest truth. whether it actually came from his mother or from a false mimicry of her doesn't actually matter.

another thing i find really interesting is that while Morgause was obviously trying to provoke Arthur with this information and was clearly manipulating him, she really didn't take any extreme steps to ensure he killed Uther. this was also her first step to bring down Uther. it's almost like she tried to find the most moral option she could that dealt the fairest form of justice, and only when it failed was she forced to resort to more gruesome, hands-on approaches.

it also really doesn't seem like she has anything against Arthur in the beginning, which is so fascinating to me, but moving on lol.

now for the BIG one:

should Arthur have killed Uther in The Sins of the Father?

god, this one is hard, because you have to consider it from all angles.

from an objective, justice-based standpoint, you could say that Morgause was absolutely in the right in all of this, and that after learning this information, it was Arthur's duty to kill his father. his father killed his own wife due to his desperation for an heir, and then spent half a lifetime destroying an entire culture and group of people in an attempt to stem his guilt.

so, yes. Arthur should have killed his father, if we're viewing this from the eyes of pure justice.

but for Arthur's own conscious? from a political standpoint? absolutely the fuck not. it would have destroyed Arthur. even when Uther died season four, he was a wreck, so imagine if it has been Arthur. dear god.

and then imagine being an average citizen of Camelot, for whom Uther was probably an alright to not great king, but no one who deserves death, and learning that your beloved Prince Arthur committed patricide and his now king? jesus. that's not how you establish good subject-monarch relations.

and if enemy kingdoms heard about it? god, all the knights must be horribly divided, because most of them swore themselves to Camelot and its royalty, but who the hell do you stand with when your two royals tried to kill each other and one of them was successful? enemy kingdoms would attack, and with their armies as divided as they'd be, who knows how that'd go.

so overall, no. i genuinely believe Arthur shouldn't have killed his father. but that doesn't mean that Uther didn't deserve death.

anyways, i think that's all! this was a lot of fun, and tysm for the ask once again <3

[thehollowstarsaga]

i read a wild and ruined song in a day and ive got so many questions so heres a list!!! theres a few spoilers in this btw proceed with caution.

whats celadons proficiency with all his elements? i know the sidhe fae rank elemental proficiency by tiers so is there a different level for each element? im assuming hes a 4 to 5 with every element he has (maybe except for lightning? he might be a 3 with that) but idk

is harlan doing okay he was mentioned like twice in the book i hope hes doing okay

what about aurelians parents??? theos parents???

whats nausicaa and urielles relationship like post-awars?

or nausicaa and the new furies???? and megaera.

what's theodore's like. secret fae name. does he have one?

are fyri and theo dating cause they were giving fwb so bad throughout the whole book?

actually wait why were fyri and theodore lowkey giving lesbian fwb energy...

does celadon know lethe banged his mom because i CLEARLY remember that being said at the end of book one.....

post-awars im assuming that the faerie political scene changed like. so so so very drastically considering literally everything that happened. hows that going?? also lowkey feel bad for celadon he must be struggling with that.

and since we're talking about politics whats going on with all the courts post-war??? hows the relationship between the ones that sided with riadne, the ones that sided with celadon, and the ones that were neutral?

was the high council dissolved? awars really emphasized that it was a corrupt establishment and i think all the counsellors sided with riadne so... hows that going for them?

also lowkey what happened to all the side characters in acafl and agasv im curious how are they doing

especially the children of the sidhe fae elite

more of a curiousity but do people like. refer to lethe as misfortune directly? or is there like a prefix. is he like. mister misfortune.

i hope its not just misfortune is kinda cunty

what are the elements corresponding to all the other courts around the world? who are they governed by?

also there might be a slight power vacuum left over now that the mortal worlds bone crown is gone considering this is a world that has had it for ages. whats up with that?

what are all the other gifts that people can have?? lowkey wish that those were used more throughout the book

whats fyri's last name?

is everyone experiencing like weekly assassination attempts now that theyre in such positions of power? like i know that they probs cant even be killed and most people probably know that but i cant imagine that people dont try.

ESPECIALLY HUMANS like does the fbi have a sniper trained on arlo at any point.

actually in general how are humans doing cause considering the political climate of our world generally cant imagine theyre taking this well. true crime and conspiracy theorist communities would be having a field day.

is rory jarsdel living his life happily i hope rory jarsdel will live out the rest of his life happily

who takes the last name between vehan and aurelian. i think they hyphenate it personally but yk.

theoretically if lethe and celadon got married and theoretically if they had to pick a last name and theoretically if lethe took celadons last name would he be referred to as Former Hunter Mister Misfortune Lethe Fleur-Viridian Lysterne??

do arlo and nausicaa ever marry?? do they ever feel the need to??

whats lethes relationship with luck and cosmin now???

what happened to the madam in the final battle??

what happened to the grim brotherhood in general???

what happened in the final battle in general??????

how did i not know that aurelian was a vegetarian?????????

feel free to correct me in case the answer to any of these was given in the book. high chance i'll keep adding more since im on my awars reread

[pagesfromthevoid]

Sparks Fly | r. | IV

Rolan x Sorceress!Tav

Word Count: 1.6k

Warnings: Mild talks of death, angry Rolan, language maybe?

Author's Note: Can't stop, won't stop. Gif from @amiracleilluminated

Series Masterlist | Talk to Me!

“That was a low blow, Miss Tav,” he complains, though he’s still smiling. “No matter how true it may be.”

She scrunches up her nose. “Oh gods, don’t call me Miss Tav –it sounds so formal. Like when my mum’s friends would call me Miss Anastasiya.”

“Is that your real name?” He asks, turning to face her better. “Anastasiya?”

“It is,” Tav nods some, mirroring his position. “I was named for my great grandmother, who was one of the daughters of the first Nimbral Lords, after the fall of the Leira Priesthood.”

"Why do they call you Tav, then?"

She thinks about it for a moment, considering how to phrase what she said next. "I had a little brother," she explains, voice soft. "He couldn't say Anastasiya when he was small, so my mother said to call my Tash. He couldn't do that either, and it ended up as Tav. I've just...used it since."

If Rolan picks up on the use of "had," he does not comment, and instead just nods. For that, Tav is thankful because she isn't necessarily ready to tell that story again.

“Is Nimbral not the nation that simply just…disappeared over a century ago?” He asks, and Tav is pleasantly surprised he knew that.

“Uh, well sort of, yes,” she admits, but then she shrugs. “It never really disappeared –it simply…couldn’t be seen, that’s all. And by the time I was fifteen, it returned to sight again.”

Rolan eyes her for several moments, clearly skeptical. Tav relents, deciding that the least he deserves is a story if he came all this way. 

“My father is a member of the Knights of the Flying Hunt —protectors of the island, a human. It’s his grandmother I’m named for. My mother was a drow —a sorceress in her own right. Her family lived on Nimbral long before the priesthood fell, and continued to live there even after. My magic came from her, though my father is a skilled fighter in his own right.”

“That’s where you learned to use a sword then, I take it?” Rolan asks, nodding towards the shortsword that lay by her bedroll. 

She nods, picking it up gingerly. The handle is worn, but the blade is sharp as ever, engraved with an elven language that her mother once spoke to her. “He always says that magic is an excellent tool, but I need to be ready when magic fails.”

“Does he not know anything about magic?”

Tav scoffs. “He knows plenty. The island is run by wizards, Rolan. But he also knows that magic can run out when overused. Better to have a back up than to be caught with your pants down, right?”

He nods in agreement, eyes scanning over the engraving on the sword momentarily. Then he looks up at her once again. “Earlier, you said your little brother, and now your mother. Did they —I mean, if you feel comfortable —,”

“My little brother drowned, and my mother a wasting illness,” she explains simply, though she doesn’t want to elaborate. While her younger brother's death is not fresh —Kyrn was only six, and it was many years ago —it still hurts to think about. Her mother’s death was too fresh in her mind, however; Bristol had died days before Tav was infected with her tadpole. Her father had used a sending stone to tell her. Tav intended to return to Nimbral when she was abducted. Now she doesn’t have the sending stone and there is no way to tell her father she was alive. 

“I’m sorry, Miss Anastasiya,” Rolan murmurs, and for some reason him saying her full name doesn’t bother her as much as it does when someone else does. She thinks it’s because it’s not as pompous coming from him. 

“There’s nothing to apologize for,” she corrects, setting her sword back down and looking up at him. “My mother lived a wonderful life, and was loved. So did my little brother. I choose to remember them that way.”

Rolan seems like he wants to say something else, but Tav is pushing herself to her feet and holding out her hand to him. 

“No more talks of the past,” she says as Rolan takes her hand and pulls himself up. He’s warm —warmer than any human or elf she’s interacted with —and she doesn’t want to let go of his hand. But if she lingers, she knows she’ll only hurt her own feelings. “You owe me a lesson in how you made your thunder wave so much stronger than mine. I’ll need it if we want to defeat Thorm tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow?” Rolan practically chokes, his eyes going wide. “You intend to —what? Storm Moonrise?”

Tav pretends to think it over for a second, making a humming noise, then nods. “Don’t know how else we’ll kill him if we don’t.”

“Does Jaheira know?”

“It was her idea.”

Rolan huffs in frustration, and Tav wonders why he’s so upset over the plan. Doesn’t he understand that it was necessary? Dangerous, perhaps. A little stupid, too. But it was necessary. To stop the curse, to get rid of the invader in her mind —Ketheric Thorm needed to die.

“Are you gonna teach me that spell or not?” Tav asks, trying to lighten the mood. 

But Rolan throws his hands in the air, as if he’s actually mad at her. “Do you ever consider your own life?”

Tav, to her credit, isn’t expecting that to be what he’s mad about. “I —what?”

“You. Do you ever think about your own life? Do you not care if you live or die? Or do you always just run blindly into danger and hope for the best?”

“Do you…,” Tav starts, and she pauses because now that she is thinking about it, she realizes that the answer is a resounding no. “Do you want the honest answer to that question, Rolan?”

“Sweet hells,” he groans, pressing the heels of his palms into his eyes.

Tav is confused. Very, truly confused. “I don’t…are you mad at me? I don’t…I don’t understand why you care what I do. I didn’t think you liked me until…,” she motioned around them, as if to say until just now. Rolan’s hands drop from his face as he stares at her with fiery eyes and, what Tav thinks —hopes —is care. 

“You are…,” Rolan stops, trying to calm himself down it seems, and Tav knows better than to interrupt a wizard who's angry. “You, Miss Anastasiya, move as if you’re a full on rainstorm and I am nothing but a house of cards, bound to be blown away by your presence in my life.”

Tav blinks a few times, processing what he’s trying to say to her. “Is that…is that a good thing?”

“Only the gods know.”

Tav doesn’t know what to say to that. For someone who is usually quick witted and a bit snarky, she’s suddenly unable to think of anything to say to diffuse the tension. Rolan is staring down at her, and she’s staring up at him, and Tav thinks that what he’s saying is a good thing but she doesn’t actually know. 

“What if you die tomorrow, Miss Anastasiya?” Rolan whispers, brows knitting together as he looks down at her.

What Tav wants to say is that, if she dies, then the rest of the world may be doomed. Or that he should call her Tav. Or that her party will go on without her. Or maybe he should kiss her just in case. But she doesn’t say any of those things, because she realizes it probably won’t make him feel better. 

“I try not to think that far ahead, if I’m honest,” she finally settles on saying. “I make the plan, I execute the plan, I expect the plan to go off the rails, then I throw away the plan. That’s about how far I get into it. I don’t…well, you know. I don’t think too hard about what happens after I throw away the plan.”

“I do.”

“Then you plan for the worst,” she offers, and now she is trying to ease the tension between them. He’s standing there, just close enough to touch. She wonders if he knows what she’s thinking as her eyes drop, briefly, to his lips then back to his eyes. “I will plan for the best. And hopefully, we meet in the middle.”

Rolan hesitates, and Tav watches as his hands flex at his sides. As if he’s trying to stop himself from reaching out to her. So Tav does it for him, taking his hands in hers. He looks at their hands for a long time, and Tav is okay with the silence because she likes how his hand feels in hers and how much stronger his hands feel compared to ones she’s held before. And, if this is the last time she sees him, she wants to remember how his skin feels against hers, even if it’s just holding his hands.

He seems a bit put off for a moment, as if he wasn’t expecting her to touch him. Tav wonders when the last time he was touched by someone who isn’t family, though she doesn’t voice the curiosity out loud. Eventually, however, Rolan relaxes into her touch and steps just barely closer. Just enough that their fronts are barely brushing and Tav is tempted beyond herself to close the distance. But she doesn’t want to scare him, or hurt him. If she does die tomorrow, she does not want him to mourn her –he deserves better than that, she decides.

With a soft squeeze, she finally lets go of his hands, missing the warmth already. Rolan’s fingers catch on hers, as if trying to keep her from getting away. 

“Goodnight, Rolan,” she says, stepping back and away from him. “I’ll see you when the battle is over.”

“I —,” Rolan pauses, but then nods. “Goodnight, Miss Anastasiya. Be safe.”

Tav watches as he takes two steps backwards, still looking at her, before he finally turns away and retreats back into the safety of the inn. 

She should have kissed him, she thinks. But she resolves to remedy that when they return from Moonrise. 

It is not a matter of if.

It is a matter of when. 

[editblr-confessions]

sigh. that one tweet that says something like "people who put "hope that helps!" at the end of comments always have the worst opinions" is being proven correct again.

callout posts aren't for minors, they're for everyone in the community. that's the point, to call out genuinely harmful behaviour going on so people know what they're up to. it's fine to be against people's stances on discourse related stuff, like syscourse and proshipping etc., but making empty callout posts over stuff clearly listed on blogs is stupid and achieves nothing. it's why i despise the editblr rentry blocklist, "here's a list of editors who've gone against my opinions, ive linked their blogs and clear evidence of what they've done (gone against my opinion) for my followers (who share the same opinions as me) to see!!" but then the evidence listed is.. stuff that's clearly there, which anyone could find by doing the most baseline checks for info, which you should be doing if you plan to interact with anyone beyond likes + reblogs anyway if you care that much about discourse stances.

anyway, the point isn't that we should stop making callout posts. the point is that we need callout posts for hidden ideologies that are genuinely harmful (pro-c, radqueer, proshipping) because all that's happening right now with said callout posts is harassment, once again over people having different opinions over internet discourse.

tldr:

callout posts exposing people for hiding genuinely dangerous thoughts because they know it's bad = good

callout posts exposing people for information that is literally right there for everyone else to see anyway = bad, will only ever end in harassment

you are correct, but honestly, i only really understand callouts when it involves like, offending pedophiles and racists and such. what someone does in their free time with shipping is none of my concern.

[onyxrosess]

Pain is My Hometown

vergil x reader [multi-chapter series]

Chapter III: Only Fools Follow Their Heart

Chapter I | Chapter II | Chapter III [you're here!] | Chapter IV | Table of Contents

・warnings/tags: some mature topics.

( cross-posted on ao3 )

A few days have passed since going out with Dante and the girls, after your conversation with Nero— well it was an argument. You apologized to him the morning after, still feeling a little guilty for your delivery of your concern. Nero of course did not hold a grudge, just brushed it off and resumed life as normal. Later that day Kyrie shouted at you, someone was calling asking for you. Secretly, not really a secret at all, you hoped it was Kane. It had been radio silence since two nights prior. 

And as luck was in your favor, Kane’s voice spoke through the landline. It was different hearing his voice so clearly instead of being suppressed by blaring music and shouting. The conversation went well, giving him Devil May Cry’s number. Since the city had far more job opportunities than Fortuna, you had already started looking at job listings passively, not having to rely on Kyrie’s endless support would be nice for a change. Relying on Dante felt more morally correct, two negatives make a positive right?

Currently, you sorted through a package Kyrie received as a gift for her help in the orphanage. Most of it was household items, as Kyrie never accepted money, she barely even let you help around the house. Selfless woman, but it’s admirable to give without guarantee of something in return. Making a pile of unopened letters addressed to Kyrie for her to read, some of the return addresses had names you recognized, there were a few kids in Fortuna who came to Kyrie for help after a small hell gate had opened. Luckily it had happened when Nero and Nico were in town. It was nowhere near the scale of the artificial hell gates that had opened in Fortuna when The Order was around. But enough to leave kids without parents, or parents to grieve their children’s lives. 

Ringing filled the room as the landline was the clear source. You walked over and held it to your ear as your other hand still had an envelope in it. “Hello?” “Hey party animal.” You rolled your eyes, you had one drunken night in the past 6 months and now you’re the party animal. “Shut it, what did you call for?” “You said you were looking for jobs right?” Your interest was now piqued, instead of just being playfully annoyed with Dante. “Yeah, I am.” “Well, your dearest friend has an offer for you.” Why does this sound like it’s not gonna end well? Back to being annoyed with him. You reluctantly hummed a response. “How about you come help with some of the shop's legal papers. I’ll pay ya.” “I thought you were short on work, where the hell are you gonna get money to pay me?” “I have my ways.” Last time you checked this man was far deeper into debt than you could even imagine. “It won’t be all the time, the stack of papers does end eventually. Plus Trish and Lady will be there sometimes. I’m not a very strict boss.” A sigh left your lips, it wasn’t a bad deal. Filing papers and calling companies didn’t seem that bad. “Fine.” “You’re amazing, I’ll see you tomorrow.” “Yeah yeah, whatever old man.” Dante shouted at you through the phone but just as quickly as that started you hung the phone back up with a satisfying click and a smile on your face.

The sun peaked above the horizon, filling your bedroom with a warm glow, unfortunately waking you up from your slumber. Stretching your muscles in an attempt to also wake them up. Very uncoordinated this morning you swing your legs over the edge of your bed, bashing your ankle into the metal box spring. A prolonged curse left your gritted teeth, at this point, you needed a padded room. You’d probably still manage to nick yourself. 

Putting on something simple, but still comfortable— it’s not like your job for Dante was anywhere near professional, he’s the opposite of professional. Walking down the hallway, passing Nero and Kyrie's bedroom, Nero’s snores seeped through the walls. Into the living room, Kyrie was already up, her hands wrapped around a coffee mug. She was always a morning person. She sat on the couch, the kids must still be asleep too. “Morning, Kyrie.” You addressed her, she turned around somewhat surprised, “What are you doing up so early?”  Admittedly, it was pretty abnormal for you to be up at the ass crack of dawn.  “Dante offered me to work for him. Just temporarily I think anyway.”  Kyrie smiled, “Well, I won’t keep you then.”  “It’s not a worry, he didn’t give me a time to be there.”

Getting a quick bite to eat and snagging some of Kyrie’s coffee, you asked about the kids with Kyrie, and she talked about some returning faces. Chatting back and forth you bid her farewell, leaving into the garage. Pulling your arms through your jacket, you zipped it up before putting your helmet on. It wasn’t too early that your motorcycle would wake everyone up, it wasn’t that loud—or maybe you just are losing your hearing.

The drive over to Red Grave was peaceful, besides the few drivers who you questioned how the hell they got their license. Driving through the gravel alley, you kicked your stand up, like many times before. Turning the backdoor handle, you stepped into the shop, your eyes on the ground while you took off your helmet. As your eyes scanned for life, they landed on Dante. With a towel around his waist and another making a feudal attempt to dry his hair. A little surprised, you hopped up on the bar stool.  “You know Dante, this is your business office too, not just your house.”  “You’re the one who decided to show up at 7 in the morning.” Dante’s voice was still groggy, but that never stopped him from bickering. Rolling your eyes, accepting your defeat, this time. You set your jacket and helmet down on the counter making your way to Dante’s desk, trying not to trip over random objects and trash that littered the floor. How does he live like this? You sigh as you pick up the piles of paper that were not so neatly set on the ground. Dante better pay you well for having to put up with this level of disorganization. 

The first couple hours of your day consisted of organizing which papers were what. You’d assume they would end up sent to collections, after all, the charges were just sitting here for god knows how long. Then again, that never stopped Dante. A pair of footsteps descended the stairs. Almost in perfect timing, Lady barged in the door.  “Why didn’t you tell me (Name) was gonna be here?” Lady took great offense, after all, you maybe saw her once a week or every other week. Dante shrugged, “Dunno, forgot I guess.” “Jerk.” Lady leaned against the desk, looking over at all the papers you had scattered about on the wooden surface. Her head tilted trying to read the papers, the text was upside down to her.  “You got her to do your paperwork? Did he blackmail you?” Lady leaned over to observe you, no amount of money could get her to do his paperwork either. But you aren’t like her, not nearly as badass.  “No, I willingly accepted this offer. I need to start looking for jobs anyway.” A sigh left your mouth, it became a habit whenever you admitted you were broke as shit. Lady stood back up with a hand on her hip. Still skeptical, her eyes scanned your face. As if Dante stuck a device to you that controlled your every move, like in the cheesy sci-fi movies.  “I’m not forcing her, though blackmail’s not a bad idea.” Dante scratched his scruff on his face, a smile lightly tugged on his lips.  “Dante.” You warned him, staring at him, solidifying your warning. “You know I wouldn’t do that.” Dante crossed his arms over his chest. “Let's go, Dante, I gotta make our score even.” Lady tugged her weapon’s leather strap over her shoulder. A smile spread across her face, you suppose they always had the competition. Hearing about young Dante was always interesting when Lady graced you with stories.  “Bye!” Lady waved at you, running out of the door before Dante, as he quickly followed suit. Not without a nod and a smile in your direction. A silent goodbye.

Another few hours drag by. Going through a section of papers, looking at the clock in between. What felt like 45 minutes in reality was only 10 minutes. Now was when you took your unpaid break. You walked over to the white fridge, the jukebox adjacent to it lightly illuminated the surrounding area. The fridge was surprisingly clean, maybe just because there was barely anything in it. A pizza box of course was put into the fridge, classic Dante. There was a carton of milk and a few random take-out boxes. Before completely abandoning ship, you moved things around a little to find a box of strawberries. Picking it up, you eyed it suspiciously, checking for mold. At first glance, they seemed okay. Washing them in the sink, you were still cautious of them, after all, they were in Dante’s fridge. 

Back at the desk, you snagged a recent newspaper, unfolding it in your lap, you took a bite of a strawberry. Better start looking for job ads. Idly eating the strawberries that luckily were still edible, you bounced your leg. Most of the job listings seemed pretty boring, or simply too much work for what they were likely offering to pay. Plus it’s far too late in your life to pick up devil hunting like Lady, so a boring salary job it is. Flipping the yellowing paper, you scanned the other side. The shop was quiet, besides the muffled sounds of people walking by outside or an especially loud car. You filled the silence by humming the rhythm of a song.

“Dante did not tell me he hired someone.” A voice from around the corner spoke, nearly making you jump out of your seat. You had completely assumed you were there alone when Dante and Lady left. You looked over your shoulder to see Vergil standing there. Vergil. The conversation you had with Nero did not leave your mind so easily, you are sure your expression had turned a bit sour. 

“Apparently not.” You turned back around in the chair, resuming what you were doing. You would rather not discuss your utter hatred for him and what he did to Nero. You try not to completely despise him, it is difficult not to, having the experiences you do. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw him sit on the red couch against the wall, pulling out a book. Your eyes returned to your paper.  A few silent minutes passed, no longer feeling like you were allowed to make a peep in his presence. What was it? You suppose Dante was quite strange like that when you first met him. Though oppositely, brimming with strength but rather using it to make himself look flashy. This was more of a suppressive strength. Anyone in his presence should think lower of themselves just to lift him higher.

The rotary phone on the desk rang as it lightly vibrated the desk. You picked up the phone, putting it to your ear.  “Devil May Cry.” You tried to imitate Dante’s voice when he said it. Your words did not come out as effortlessly as his does. “Hey, office girl,” Kane spoke through the phone. A smile tugged at your lips, a little giddy from the compliment. “Not for long.” Letting out a small laugh through an exhale.  “Oh really?”  “It’s just temporary, I’m looking for other jobs right now.” You glanced at the newspaper, your pen marks littered the paper. “Maybe I’ll still get to call you office girl. Maybe a secretary.” You could hear his smile through the phone, silly man. You chuckled at his comment, “Whatever your sick fantasies desire.”  “I was calling to formally ask you out on a date, I would’ve called sooner but you know how life gets.”  Your finger twirled around the phone wire while you listened to him. “So you are a gentleman after all.”  Kane’s laughter seeped through the phone, as you couldn’t help but smile a little. “What about tonight then? When do you get off?” Kane asked, and you thought, when the hell do I get off? “I’m not sure actually, probably 5 at the latest.”  “What about 6 then, it’s not formal, so don’t worry about that.” Kane soothed your worries before it even crossed your mind.  “That works for me, I’ll give you the shop's address.” 

The conversation ended after you handed over the information. Now you sat at Dante’s desk with a giddy smile. But, you have to get back to work, or… you could slack a little. A sharp snap of a book being closed pulled your attention to where Vergil sat. He stood, still with the thin book in his grasp. He is such an odd man, but you still see his blackened heart through his exterior. His steps were almost eerily silent as he made his way to the front door, his head turned to look at you from the corner of his eye.  “Do not trust that man.” His words were sharp, but what confused you more was… why? And before you could even defend Kane or yourself that you’re a grown woman and you can make your own decisions, he left. The bad taste that the encounter left in your mouth refused to go away for the rest of your shift. 

The roads were lit with a warm glow of the streetlights, the architecture of Red Grave was always so beautiful. Not nearly as impressive as Fortuna, especially the building the Order once resided in was a sight to be seen. The faded white lines on the pavement passed by you with each dash mark. You hadn’t spoken a word to Kane since you both got into the car. The silence was not suffocating, it was pleasant. It’s been a while since you’ve been able to relax, the radio played quietly, some music you didn’t know but it coaxed you into closing your eyes. Your date with Kane went very well, thinking about it made you smile. His easygoing personality was nice, though unfortunately, Vergil’s warning made you think about what details you shared with Kane. You have no history with Vergil, and you have no idea if his judgment is sound, but it still affected you. And that irked you more. However you started to get lost in your thoughts, and eventually, you did fall asleep, hand holding up your cheek as your elbow rested on the car door.

“Hey, we're here.” Your body jolted awake as you surveyed your surroundings, you were still in Kane’s car. You turned to look at him, and he looked a bit surprised that you were woken so easily. Your body once tense, relaxed. You leaned back against the leather seats of his car, whispering an apology under your breath. “I wasn’t sure if you wanted me to take you back to Fortuna, but even then I didn’t know where you were staying so-” “It’s okay, thank you.” You interrupted his rambling, and a slight red color rose to his cheeks. His dark blue shirt matched his tan skin, his collarbone peaked out of the neckline. A few strands of his dark hair fell out of the bun he had put it in. You silently wondered what his hair would look like down, the thought made your body pull itself closer to him. His breath fanned over your face as he remained motionless, his eyes were half-lidded, analyzing the curves of your face. You caught yourself doing the same. Leaning over the center console of his car, which was an awkward position for your body, it was all worth it when his lips clashed with yours. It was slow, your hand held onto his forearm as your other played with the baby hairs on the back of his neck. You slowly opened your eyes to take a peek at his face, you wondered if his eyes were squeezed shut or if he had color on his cheeks once again. Instead, you were met by brown eyes looking at your own, his eyelashes cast a shadow over his irises, though this close you could see a ring of orange within the deep brown. Trying to summon your ‘nothing phases me’ facade, was a miserable failure. Your cheeks heat up like a pouring lighter fluid on a raging bonfire, you break away from his lips, trying to hide your face but you are only met with a laugh from Kane. “Shut it.” Once again your tough guy act was not very convincing as you tried to look at him with a stern face but he was met with a different expression. Trying to fight a war with your smile that you didn’t actually want to win, though you would appreciate it if your entire face didn’t feel like it was gonna explode. This only caused Kane to laugh more.

And you were left with no other option but to tug on the collar of his shirt, clashing your lips together in an embarrassing attempt to free yourself from your current position. And your solution did work, as his hands managed to find purchase on your back. The kiss was not as soft as earlier, but you did not dare open your eyes. Instead, through your closed eyelids, the dark lighting inside his car was lit up like the sun suddenly appeared right next to you. Both you and Kane froze, as you struggled to look out the windshield. As your eyes adjusted, you recognized the front of the vehicle that rudely interrupted your activities with Kane. But then annoyance morphed into horror as you realized who was in the driver's seat of that van, Nico. And who was next to her in the passenger seat? Nero. And once again, you fear your face showed your embarrassment. Kane's hands still clung to you as you slowly slipped out of his grip. And even worse, a figure stood outside of the van, Dante. This embarrassment has you praying to whatever god exists. Kane only recognized Dante, he was not so sure why you were so embarrassed, but he relaxed back into his seat as he watched Nico unfold into laughter, which could be heard through the closed windows of Kane’s car. 

You quickly got out of Kane's car, almost stomping over to Nico’s van door. You opened the door with such vigor you could care less if it flew off the hinges. “You shut up!” You pointed a finger at her, through laughs she could barely even speak. “You two love birds!” Then she kept hysterically laughing, but behind her in the passenger seat, Nero just awkwardly smiled. God, this was awful. Kane snuck up behind you as he tapped your waist with his hand, and he looked like he was about to burst out laughing too when he looked at your reddened face.  “You gonna have to apologize to Nero for traumatizing him like that-” “He’s 26!” Yes, Nero was very close to a younger brother to you, but he was an adult! He had a girlfriend and practically kids too, but it just made you boil with unbridled embarrassment. Kane stood next to you, he pulled you close by your forearm. Which surprised you but Nico got out of her car, fanning her face like she was the one who had just been making out with a guy, with an unexpected audience. 

You threatened Nico about 20 more times within the span of a couple of minutes, Nero had since joined the four of you on the sidewalk. Kane had to hold you in place or else you’d run away and hibernate for years. Finally, Nico stopped laughing like a hyena, you were able to ask her what they were doing out here. “We have an overnight job,” Nero answered. You nodded, Kane had since abandoned you to talk to Dante. You pray Dante isn’t sharing embarrassing stories about you, but you immediately knew he probably did just by looking at the stupid smirk that was plastered on his face. Silence came over the two of you before Nero spoke up again, “Is that the guy from the other night?” His words came out awkwardly, being able to stomach conversation about Kane you replied, “Yeah, his name is Kane.” “Right right.” Nero just fiddled with the hem of his worn-out shirt. “I’ll be careful Nero.” You told him, but you knew in that moment Vergil was somewhat right, you need to be careful. As much as you want to believe that Kane is a good guy, morally at least, he’s showed no signs of being anyone crazy. But, neither did you expect your previous boyfriends to be utterly insane. 

Nero seemed less tense after that, but the mood suddenly shifted when Vergil appeared from around the corner, you were the first to notice him. You couldn’t stand to look at him, especially with Nero right next to you. Kane had departed from the conversation with Dante and stood next to you, which you leaned on the side of the DMC van. Nico reappeared from the inside of the van, with somehow more grease on her, yet it had only been 10 minutes. And now it was a standstill, Vergil stood a few feet away from Nero, who was standing on the sidewalk. The air was thick, or at least just seeing Vergil next to Nero made you want to punch Vergil. Maybe it was because you couldn’t deny that Vergil was his father anymore when you looked at the two of them side by side and how similar they looked. Dante exchanged words with Vergil, which you didn’t catch as your focus was swayed to Kane. He squeezed your hand,  “I’m gonna go, you have somewhere to stay here right? I don’t want you driving to Fortuna this late.” You smiled, how sweet of him. “No, I’m okay.” You softly spoke as you could hear the conversation behind you between Dante and Vergil.  Kane hummed as he quickly kissed your cheek, which just reminded you of your embarrassment from less than 15 minutes ago, but not nearly as bad. His hand gave your hand one last squeeze before getting in his car. 

Luckily after you watched Kane drive off into the horizon till his car became a little blip in your vision, it wasn’t silent. You had enough of awkward encounters today, and probably for the next year too.  “We’re gonna leave, (Name),” Nero mentioned as he was about to climb back into the van, you nodded, giving him a quick hug, and you spoke over his shoulder. “Don’t do anything stupid, okay?” Nero only nodded before Nico stuck her head out the driver’s window,  “Him? Stupid? That's all he knows.” Nico spoke while chewing a stick of gum, Nero glared at her, which spurred her on even more. You only let out a breathy laugh, watching Nero get into the van. Dante and Vergil stood closer to the shop, Vergil’s body was straight, and well thought out like his doctor told him he needed to watch his posture. Though you presume he doesn’t even have a doctor– do half-devils have a doctor…? You pushed your curiosity aside, maybe after a shot, you’ll ask Dante sometime.   “Practice caution, Nero.” Vergil’s voice had less of a demanding tone, though his words were similar to the warning he gave you earlier today. Nero nodded, you stared at Nero for a little too long trying to analyze his expression, searching for a reason to smack Vergil. For good measure of course.

Waving off Nico and Nero as she drove maybe a little too fast for that beat-up van. You turned back around to Dante and Vergil, which Vergil quickly retired to inside the doors below the ‘Devil May Cry’ neon sign. You stood in front of Dante, whose shadow covered you.  “Soooo, that was entertaining wasn’t it?”  Dante’s stupid smile, again. “Oh please, I already heard it from Nico.” You turned away from him, trying not to relive the sheer amount of embarrassment that memory would likely hold for a while. Dante chuckled as he put his hands on his hips, so sassy.  “Can I stay the night or are you gonna kick me to the curb to go drive an hour back to Fortuna.”  Dante let out a dramatic sigh, scratching his white stubble with one gloved hand.  “Kicking you to the curb would add to tonight’s entertainment.” You only smacked his shoulder before walking towards the front door. Dante stopped you, pulling your arm as you stumbled closer to him.  “Vergil didn’t say anything weird to you, right? Before me and Lady left.” You bit your tongue, debating if you tell him or not, and you began questioning why you were holding back. To save Vergil from a lecture? You turned your head,  “He just overheard me talking to Kane on the phone and said something like, ‘Be careful’. It wasn’t anything.” You tried to play it off the best you could, because frankly, you didn’t want to start doubting Kane, you would not listen or even consider Vergil’s words. Only your own, and you’ve had plenty enough experiences to guide you to the right decision. You had a hard time looking at Dante right now, his face was oddly serious, his skin lit up by the neon sign.  “Just… Let me know if anything happens.”  “I will.”

You vowed as you both walked in the door in silence. Your piles of organized paper still sat on top of Dante’s desk, the lamp illuminated the otherwise dark room. You sat down on the couch, stretching your arms over your head, letting out a silent yawn. Dante sat down in his chair, moving papers so he could put his feet up on his desk. Thankfully he did not disturb your organization too much. “You can take my room,” Dante spoke as he found another magazine to flip through, how does he not get tired of those?  “You sure? I’m scared I’ll get devil coodies if I sleep up there.” You stood up from the couch. “I can still kick you to the curb, you know.” Dante looked up from his magazine, you knew he was joking, thankfully. “Fine, you don’t have devil coodies.” Dante let out a chuckle, his eyes quickly going back to the contents of the paper in front of him. “Goodnight.” You spoke as you went up the stairs, which creaked under your weight. “Night.” 

As always, thank you for reading! -onyxroses

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

[minminho0]

✤------------------------------------------✤

◈The one◈

✤------------------------------------------✤

<Kazuha x Reader>

<Venti x Reader>

-Angst - Fluff

⏤͟͟͞͞ Part 1 - Anything Please

Summary: After he left you still processing that he already had a girlfriend, you decided to move on but did you really move on?

Gender: Female

Warnings: --

A/n: feel free to correct my grammar!

i suddenly had motivation after using it up all bcz of a single comment💀

I hope you enjoy~!

--

After the day you found out about his girl friend, you distance yourself from him but like did he even notice, its no use since he already distanced himself.

The new girlfriend is far more better than you.

Since Kazuha is quite adventurous himself, of course he wants a lover the same as him, so of course he'll never pick you, as his girl friend at least.

You waited for him for so long just for him to found another, its time for you to go.

You have so many failed attempts of moving on cuz each time you just unconsciously wait at the door and think about him.

You felt bad because he already have a girlfriend and your here thinking about him romantically.

You tried dating a couple of guys since your pretty popular, its quite easy but each time you keep thinking about him which clearly the dating thing isnt working.

You decided to just move away because your home just reminds you of him.

You went to Monsdant since its peacful and calm there, you never told Kazuha because why would he care? He forgot about you so its fair and besides your mom is living there so it wouldn't be that hard.

-

The next few days, you were looking for someone to sell your house and you finally found one.

You gave your keys to the seller after packing all your things.

A few weeks later you got the money from selling the house and gave half of it to your mother.

-

Kazuha's pov:

"How can she do this to me? Did i do something wrong?" I said as tears roll down my cheek.

How could she? After all ive done for her..i even left y/n because she feels uncomfortable!

How could she cheat on me...

I thought, memories w her flashing before my eyes and then suddenly she popped up.

Ha?

Y/n?

What?

Oh ya..i remember...she was the one who comforted me all that time.

She was...

She was the one.

-

Calming myself down, i immediately went to her house, hoping that we didn't drift apart that far.

I rang the doorbell and i was greeted with silence.

I rang it again and this time, someone finalky opened the door but wasn't the one i were hoping for sadly.

"Oh um hello, do you need anything?"

"Oh um- who are you?"

"Uh the owner of this house, why?"

"No youre not..."

"Pardon?"

"Sorry, where's Y/n?"

"Y/n? Idk who that is but i can reassure you, no one here is named y/n."

"Oh ok.."i mumbled, wondering what happened while he was gone.

I heard the door close which startled me.

I quickly run to places where she could possibly went but to no avail.

I searched everywhere but she was nowhere to be seen.

-

Today im going to Monsdant still thinking about where she could be.

Once i stepped foot at the land of Monsdant, i immediately went to a small village to ask people if he could rest at their place for a few hours.

While he was roaming around, he suddenly saw..

"Y/n?"i murmured, frozen at my spot.

"Ha?"

Your pov:

"Ha?" I turned around, hearing someone call my name.

'Kazuha!? What is he doing here?'you immediately truned on your heels but before you could walk off someone held your shoulder.

"Y/n?"

"Mhm?" You turned your head and cane face to face with him.

"Ive been looking for you! why didn't you tell me you went here?"

"Oh sorry i forgot" you reapeted the words he told you a long time ago.

"Im so sor-" before i can tell my apology and my love for her, i was suddenly cut off.

Anger slowly building up inside you but soon came down when you heard a familiar voice.

"Y/n~!"

"You two looked at the person, his face confuse while yours happy.

"Oh? Who might you be~?"

"Who are you?"

"I asked you first but oh well, my name is Venti! And can you please let go of my precious s/o"

"S/o!?"

"Mhm~? Is there a problem?"

"Oh-..uh no.." He slowly let go of you, cursing at himslef for doing that to you, now he was to late.

"It was nice meeting you and your boyfriend..hope you two have a nice life"

He turned his body around and slowly walked off with a heavy heart.

Kazuha's pov:

I finally found a place to rest but how can i rest when all i think about is her?

Honestly i knew about her huge crush towards me but i cant believe i ignored it and now.

*sigh*

Sitting up from the bed and pouring myself a glass of water when suddenly i saw them together..having fun.

"I was really to late ha?"

I went back at the bed and slept praying that this was just a dream.

--

*Masterlist*

Hiii!! Hope you enjoyed it~!

Thx for the sudden boost of motivation @luvnoya

Have a nice day~!

-February 28, 2023

[hopeheartfilia]

Update on what i screenshoted from School Bus Graveyard

Also I found out that the reason it seemed so familiar when i started seeing it around was because my friend literally recommended it to me a few months back..

anyway

Ashlyn and Aiden being adorable hours. there is so much of them being cute, and Im always just. glad they can get what little comfort they may from getting closer because those kids sure need it

Another one, it is jsut. so soft. so important to me. Yes offer each other support and closeness in theese hard times, humans are mode for community

I dont think ive mentioned this but its so important to me how all the kids are caretakers of the group in their own ways, like they all care SO much and they show it in different ways but its undeniable.

Ashlyn cares in the way she tries to keep everyone alive and takes on responsibility and also in the way she is on the lookout for danger and generally tries to make plans and get them out of trouble

Taylor takes care of them in a more emotional core capacity, as in she has communiction skills that a majaority of them are indeed lacking in, she says things that need to be said and she helps keep them all together

Tyler on the other hand tends to care for people more in a way fo things he can Do, like doing laundry and feeding when they lived with their mom, practical things, and in the group its very much taking point, hitting things, going over and scaring of that guy that was bullying logan

Ben takes care of them in a medical way, he ptches them up physically and he worries about them and offers his silent support, and like he is still such a teen about it, they all are, but just. When they met up in the facility and tyler was like how about some words of encouragement? tell me its going to be okay and shit, and Ben just wnet and touched him while doing thumbs up, that was so sweet and so teen behaviour i love them all. And of course he is also protective in the way that he gets angry on logans behalf and would also hit someone physically as well

And the way Aiden cares for their little group might be filled with jokes, and a lot of adrenaline and overall danger seeking behaviour, but he still tries so hard, like yes he bothers people on purpose but he also livens a lot of situations, and when they need him he is there and delivers, he tries to ground ben, and ashlyn as well, he is the sort of prescence that you know will stay by your side

And Logan probably shows the most outwards signs of being scared but he still does so much and he clearly cares about the group back. He protects their back and worries about them and when push comes to shove he is there and pulling more then his weight, he helps so much with figuiring out the way the shadow realm works (thats what im calling it. it seems correct to me) and when he got that card? Like he doesnt seem to be very used to having actual close friends, which is true for most of them, but he does care about people and he does try to help others

Idk i just love all theese kids

also, this one hit different, i was so worried about tyler, im glad he is alright-ish for now

Also i know its easy to see how Ashlyn is a lot like her mom, especially in the beginning chapthers but i think its cool to see how much she is like her dad as well

I know there are a lot of other things to be said, and that i probably need a little more time to properly think about stuff and analyze before i can make any actual analysis but for now Ill probably put it a bit on the backburner

On the topic of theories and stuff thou, the phantoms to me have very much seemed connected to shadows in some way, as the changes in the real world affect their shadows, but people who dont see it dont seem to see the changes aeither, as we sall with ashlyns parents, and the things they said abour rifts - it overall definelty has a different, potentionally mirror dimention feeling. Also, If the phanthoms are caugh people, then the giant sentepede thing is likely a turned animal maybe? It seems likely to me that the forest would have less humanoid beings because it is less populated

Also im really curious about Logans grandparents and hoe they got that sedative. Also i have the bad feeling that their parents will get hit with the comatose version of being taken into the rift.

Also im curious about the power surges our guys cause. They seem to be emotion based, but I dont see why the other victims wouldnt cause them? Maybe they didnt stay together? or maybe they didnt live long enough? likely both but im not sure its tge reason. Also if it IS connnected to their emotional/psychological state then does that have anything to do with why aiden recovered faster? Personally i think it also has to do with the type of injury, but like do you heal faster in the shadow realm if you have depression? Or does it have something to do with your own self perception of youe wounds?

[juceynightmare]

pink carnations part 4 - cody rhodes x reader

my masterlist

pink carnations masterlist

pairing(s): cody rhodes x reader, cody rhodes x brandi rhodes, austin theory x reader

warning(s): hanahaki, implied smut, swearing, cheating, mentions of major character death

genre(s): heavy angst, fluff

<< previous part || next part >>

“glad to see you’re awake, ms. l/n.” the doctor began. cody leaned away from your bed, quickly pocketing the rose petal he had taken from y/n. cody, austin, and y/n all turned their gazes towards the doctor. “i do, however, have some news for you. whether you take it as good news or bad news is up to you.” the doctor continues, flipping through the papers that they held in the clipboard. all three physically tensed at the tone of the doctor’s words: expecting the worse to come next, although y/n held little hope in her gaze.

“we had to go through and ‘trim’ the plant growing in your lungs to give you a chance of living. of course, we did not remove the entire plant as we would need your explicit permission to do that, but we did what we could to at least keep you living for another month or so: depending on how rapid the flowers continue to grow.” the doctor explained, essentially killing y/n’s hopes that the reason she had coughed up a petal instead of a flower were because cody loves her. how could she have been so foolish to even think that was a possibility? y/n physically deflated in the hospital bed, sinking further into the mattress. austin looed over at her, clearly catching the woman’s sudden deflated hope. he caught it even before cody did, allowing him to react first.

austin reached for y/n’s hand, taking it in his and lacing their fingers together. the doctor glanced over at their intertwined hands, deciding against asking if y/n knew who was the cause of the flowers: it was obvious after he soon caught the other man in the room also staring down at the intertwined hands. y/n squeezed austin’s hand, meeting his gaze and feeling at ease with the reassuring smile he gave her and completely missing the way cody deflated in his own seat.

“with that being said, we will be giving you at most a week to tell us if you’d like to go through with the surgery or not. i’m sure you’re well aware of the outcome if you choose not to have the surgery, although i cannot make that decision for you. please call the facility as soon as you make that decision.” the doctor said, as they wrote down something on a piece of paper, taking it out afterwards. the doctor handed the paper over to austin, who held it out for y/n to read. “that’s a prescription for some basic medications to treat hanahaki. it’s used to reduce the pain you feel as well as to limit the growth rate of the flowers to turn your coughing fits more manageable. and here’s a doctor’s note to hand to your employer. according to your records, you work as a professional wrestler, correct?” the doctor questioned, looking up at y/n.

y/n looked away from the prescription, meeting the doctor’s gaze. she nodded at his question, not trusting her words in fear that she may say something else. she would have to give up wrestling, she knew that now. y/n could get the surgery and continue wrestling, but that’d also mean forgetting how it felt to love cody. how it felt to be in his arms. how exhiliterating his kisses were and how he seemed to set her skin on fire with every touch.

the doctor handed over the other piece of paper to austin, capping the pen bringing the clipboard down to their side. “i’ll have a nurse come in and take out your iv and you’ll be free to go after you pick up your medicine in the pharmacy. i also wrote down my number on the doctor’s note for you to call when you’ve made your decision on your surgery. take care, ms. l/n.” the doctor left the room not too long after saying their goodbye.

the three sat in the room, air dense and y/n seemingly lost in thought. cody was focused on the way austin held y/n’s hand and rubbed circles into the back of her hand with his thumb, swallowing back what he could only identify as jealousy at the sight. austin was staring at cody, almost seemingly challenging the man to try and do something about the situation. and y/n.. y/n was simply watching the testosterone battle in humor, even more so when cody finally looked up to meet austin’s stare.

there was no way she was getting the surgery. not when she knew how precious it was to be able to fall in love, and knowing that after getting the surgery, she may not be able to even know what the feeling of falling in love is.

it was odd how easy it was for her to come to terms with the fact that she was going to die, and soon. she had began to reminisce on the good times with cody, so much so that she hadn’t realized that the nurse had already come in and taken out y/n’s iv and handed her back her clothes.

cody and austin stood up, cody reaching for y/n’s clothes and holding it out for her to take. “we’ll be outside when you’re ready.” cody told her, seemingly easing up after austin had let go of her hand. the two men left the room, y/n getting out of the hospital bed and changing back into her clothes. she double checked that she had all of her belongings before walking towards the door. when she opened it and stepped out, she caught sight of the two men facing each other and grumbling as if they were arguing lowly amongst themselves - which of course they were. about what, y/n wouldn’t know.

“alright you two, knock it off. i was already suffocating in there with all the testosterone you were both emitting, dont subject everyone else to it.” she mused, watching the two men turn to look at her with sheepish gazes. y/n walked over to them, standing between them and linking her arms with their own. “now, let’s go get my meds and get out of here! you heard the doctor, if i have a month to live then we’re sure as hell not wasting any time!” y/n pulled the two men behind her, missing the way they stared at the back of her head with sad eyes.

that was almost a week ago, in fact, it would be a week officially as soon as tomorrow hits. y/n was still set on her decision to not get the surgery, the doctor’s number already saved in her contacts to let them know that she would not be getting the surgery. however, the fact that she decided to wait the full week before making her final decision was proof of her doubts at her own decision.

not much had changed since she got discharged, besides the fact that austin was often around her now. if cody wasn’t with her, then austin was. and even if cody was with her, austin was usually there. the man had become another friend to y/n, and an enemy of sorts to cody as the two would always butt heads trying to retain y/n’s attention.

stephanie was extremely kind to y/n, allowing her to stick around backstage as per her request although she wouldn’t be allowed to wrestle. of course to not become a dead weight backstage, y/n had taken up a light job of doing the other women’s makeup. that much she could manage, of course.

whenever she coughed up flowers, they hurt less. everything was going smoothly for y/n, and she actually believes that she may make it to over a month before her body gives out on her. although y/n recalls the doctor mentioning that the medicine would slow down the rate at which the flowers grew, y/n had no idea that they would grow so impossibly slow that she was still coughing up a multitude of petals rather than entire flowers like how she was previously.

but perhaps, that’s because of a certain someone.

cody took every moment he could to remind y/n that he loves her. so much so that y/n had began to feel guilty with every repetition of the phrase knowing that brandi was waiting at home for cody and still, very much, pregnant. his touch had lingered on her longer whenever he hugged her, guided her through a crowd, or even when the two would sit next to each other and he’d rest his hand on her thigh. y/n felt even more guilty when she would lean into his touch, blush whenever his kiss on her forehead would travel down to her cheek and increasingly travel dangerously close to her lips.

cody had also taken it upon himself to room with y/n when they would travel to a different city for the night, the two sleeping in different beds but staying up cuddled up together in one bed to talk about the day. and that’s exactly what the two were doing currently.

y/n and cody laid in the hotel bed, still wearing their clothes from that day and watching whatever youtube video she had pulled up on her laptop. she knew cody had a tiring day, especially after wrestling a dark match against austin where the two seemingly wanted to turn it into a real brawl.

y/n had her head and hand rested on cody’s chest, and cody had his armed wrapped around y/n. the laptop was set upon cody’s midsection, offering the two a good viewing angle of the video. eventually, cody reached out to pause the video which earned him a confused look from the woman currently cuddled into his chest.

his heart yearned for y/n, although the guilt eating away at him for cheating on brandi left him with a throbbing headache every night. but even so, y/n had made it obvious she was not going to get the surgery, and cody allowed himself to be selfish.

but above all humanly desires, he wants her to live.

“you should call the doc tomorrow and tell them you want the surgery.” he told her, hating how fast she sat herself up and the warmth of her left him.

y/n turned her body to face cody, sighing before letting herself fall back down to her space beside him. “i don’t want to, you know that cody.”

“but why?” he questioned, closing the laptop and setting it off to his side. he turned over on his side to face her, sinking down further so they could be eye-to-eye on the mattress.

y/n closed her eyes as soon as cody peered into her gaze, unable to look the man in the eyes. “because i don’t want to forget what it’s like to fall in love. i know a guy who went through the surgery, cody. and he doesn’t even know if he’ll ever know the feeling of being in love again! and, and i don’t want to forget what it’s like to be in love with.. you.” she admitted.

two humans sharing the same bed, their bodies innocently intertwined and their hearts beating together in time, but their fates not being alligned. how cruel love can be, cody mused to himself, as he reached up to cup her face in his hands. he watched as she opened her eyes to look at him, those beautiful eyes that cody wishes he could wake up to every morning for the rest of his life.

“but you didn’t know you’d fall in love with me either, but i caught you.” he reminded her, using his thumb to brush her cheek. cody brought their faces closer together, resting his forehead against hers. “how will you know if you’ll know the feeling of falling in love if you don’t even try afterwards? i want you to live, y/n. live and continue loving in a way only you know how to love other people.” cody whispered, not missing the way y/n’s face felt warmer under his palm.

“if there’s anyone who deserves to be in love and to be loved in this world, it’s you y/n. you shouldn’t let the possibility of not falling in love again even let you second guess yourself. because i know you will. after all,” cody paused, pulling away so he could see y/n’s face in his hands. “it’s you who left a y/n shaped hole in my heart which only you could fill. this surgery will save your life for certain, and afterwards, if the universe allows us, i hope your heart returns back to me. everything’s complicated right now but it’ll all work itself out in time. but if you don’t get that surgery, time won’t be on our side. it’s just whether or not you want to take that risk, y/n.”

in this moment, it was just cody and y/n. no one else mattered, just the way the two held each others gaze with so many unsaid phrases and emotions that ran deeper than words can go. they weren’t wwe superstars in that moment, but two hopeful wrestlers only wishing for a better future where the both of them could be happy.

“cody, i don’t know what to say.” y/n whispered, feeling the way her heart felt as if it were about to jump out of her chest, and the way it suddenly felt so easy to breathe as if the flowers in her lungs were no longer there. her head was spinning, his touch on her face lit her ablaze, and their proximity was only tempting y/n to press their bodies further together.

“then don’t say anything, y/n.” cody answered quickly. “just live.” he continued, before leaning in and pressing his lips against hers gently.

oh. she thought as she closed her eyes and melted into the kiss. that’s right, how could she ever forget this feeling. the way her body was lit ablaze by his touch, the way it felt as if there were little sparks being lit in her brain as she kissed him. and as for cody, cody could feel every part of him react when she kissed him back. it was as if a shock of electricity was suddenly shot down through his nerves in the best way possible. he pulled away, not trusting his own instincts to continue to let him get lost in her, not without her permission of course.

“cody, i love you.” she breathed out once he pulled away, opening her eyes to stare into his own. it was as if y/n had reached in and flipped a switch in cody’s mind in that moment. he brought his hand down from her face, pressing it against her shoulder and rolling her over on to her back. cody moved on top of her, using his knees to part her legs and positioning himself between them. his arms were set on either side of her head, and his gaze turned hungry at the little gasp she let out once he pressed his hips against her own.

“i love you, y/n.” cody whispered, fighting back the urge to lean down and kiss her. the two were close to the point of no return, the tension between them being so thick that it made the two of them light-headed.

y/n reached up, wrapping her arms around cody’s neck and wrapping her legs around his waist, earning a warning look from cody. “what about brandi?” y/n whispered, her voice shaky with worry and guilt.

he closed his eyes shut at her question, something like bile creeping up his throat. what about brandi? he questioned himself. cody was certain he was still in love with y/n, but his marriage with brandi who was pregnant with his child only made their entire situation complicated. he wouldn’t even be shocked if brandi had contracted hanahaki either, knowing that he is hopelessly in love with y/n and always has been but potentially realized too late.

“forget about brandi. i told you, everything will work out with time, i promise.” cody whispered, opening his eyes to meet y/n’s worried gaze. “i’m just worried that i realized too late to save you, with the deadline for your surgery being so close. but i have enough trust in our love that after your surgery, i’ll be able to make you fall for me all over again, and this time i’ll still be there to catch you.”

y/n tightened her grip around cody, effectively pulling cody closer down to her. “cody, can you show me how much i should trust in your love?” she whispered, to which cody answered by pressing his lips against hers. she gasped as cody rolled his hips down on to hers, allowing cody to deepen the kiss.

cody ate up her moans as the two got lost in each other, a chorus of “i love you.” filling up the room as the two lovers consummated their love after so many years of dancing around each other.

y/n was first to wake up that morning, her head rising and falling with every breath cody took. she looked up at her lover, smiling to herself before leaning up and pressing a soft kiss to his lips so she didn’t wake cody. she then rolled over on her side and reached for her phone that rested on the bedside table.

|| next part >>

[bookbitchx]

Hello again 😊 I knew i was gonna love chatting with u hehe

These are things that makes me wish anyone else would've written ACOTAR tbh. Her lack of planning and her retconning of characters so that she remains politically correct in current political climates is gross. It's been a pattern I've noticed, but it makes sense considering shes a zionist, but anyway 🥱

I do enjoy the world that she made and I think its an interesting concept to view a centuries old clusterfuck like the IC through a 20 yearold lense. But I wish it had a morsel of taste. Each of the books in this series left me wanting more, especially rereading as an adult.

So to compensate for the parts of the books I hate I just pretend its not upsetting me by psychoanalyzing the characters 😂 Rhys is one that I have a love/hate relationship with for that reason. He is genuinely one of the worst love interests ive seen be this popular in a long time and he has made the worst choices i have ever seen written and then defended by the author.

Feyre however, I would argue is his perfect partner for how awful he is after SF and CC3. But I wish a better author had written this book so we could've seen a decent redemption or a proper Rhysand villain arc. I think this series would've been so much more interesting crossover wise if it had been with tog and had been a mock feysand villain arc. Maeve has daemati powers, so making her an ancestor of Rhysand's through the HL bloodline would've made sense. Hybern could've been a mock villain to lure the reader into a false sense of security and think maybe the NC ARE good guys?

Nesta and Elain join Aelin's circle to take them down after they attempted to seize the dread trove for themselves under Amren's advice, (they dont like her having it clearly). And the emotional climax of the series is Feyre leaving him and joining her sisters, which leads Rhys to pull a tamlin by in turn going to koshei. Could even get Bryce quinlan in to fullfill a life debt to Nesta by using the horn and Feyre's fire powers to give Aelin her magic back somehow, and nesta never has her magic taken back by the cauldron?????? The cauldron had Amren in it and it should've been written that she had to sacrifice her true Daglan immortality to be with Varian. Boom full fucking circle.

But nope, we have Miss Maas.

thanks janet for ruining what couldve been my favorite thing >:^(

but a part of me hopes the Elucien book will include Tamlin's side of the story and Elain confronts Feysand for their *waves arms* everything. And taking Nesta and the Valkyries with them, they deserve better. it wont happen tho, so I'll read fanfic instead.

-🤠

Heyy again!

I get where you're coming from. I liked book 1, the way Feyre (and us, in a way) was discovering the SC and a little bit of Prythian as a whole, and I liked Feyre, who was this badass huntress, who had her own opinions, doing what needs to be done, etc... I mean, she went UTM knowing full well she wasn't coming out alive, but she still did it bc it was right, and she wanted to save her man.

Where THAT Feyre went, I'll never know.

As you said, It's an interesting concept seeing everything through a 20 year old's eyes, or it would've been for me if she hadn't started taking everything they said as truth.

Even though I haven't read any CC books yet, my friend spoiled CC3 that Nesta didn't actually lose her powers? That it was more of a bargain with the Couldron, but yeah, it would've been interesting to see crossovers between the series. I think Aelin, Manon, and maybe Lysandra would absolutely despise Rhysand. I would a 100% read a fic with what you described.

As for the Elucien book, like I hope she does good by Lucien because he, out of all the characters, deserves it.

I'm not holding my breath on Elain ever confronting Feysand bc as Rhysand once said, 'Elain is Elain', but a girl can hope.

Also, if Nesta and the valkyries ever become one of Rhysand's legions, I'm pulling a one woman riot before burning the book.

On another note, feel free to DM if you want to continue the conversation or if you're more comfortable this way, I don't mind that either.

🫰🏼