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iam93percentstardust · 4 years ago

Note

Hello. I am very interested with WinterIron. Enemies to Lovers, abo with omega Tony, accidental bonding, mutual pining, a lot and a loooootttttt of kissing and touching (with "I do it because of bond" excuses).

Please feel free to cross anything you feel uncomfortable with.

Hi there! I wasn't able to get everything in there, but hopefully there's enough? I loved this prompt so much, it was a fun verse to write in 💙

CW for omegas having few rights in this verse and for creepy Aldrich Killian

As always, everything I write can also be found on ao3

mate bond: [meyt bond] noun

1. A mental and physical connection that ties two people together following a mating bite

2. A pair bond between spouses

[An excerpt from The Other Half of My Soul: An Exploration into Unconventional Bonding Methods by Anderson-Lopez et al, 1972]

“While rare, it is important to note the existence of mate bonds in individuals who have not exchanged bites. These instances have notably occurred during times of high stress for one or both individuals, and are sparked by an inciting incident of some kind, usually a traumatic event. While these types of mate bonds, dubbed soulmate bonds by the media, frequently occur between individuals who are highly compatible, it is not necessary. Curiously, however, it does seem necessary that the individuals are scent matched for a soulmate bond, even though compatible second genders are not a requirement.”

Bucky maintained that it was an accident.

Tony had been meant for Steve, after all. That was the arrangement Howard Stark had decided on with Fury. Bucky had only come along as moral support for the first meeting between Steve and Tony. He wasn’t even supposed to meet Tony first, but the crowded ballroom had been too much for him, so he’d ducked out into the hallway, only to come across two alphas menacing an omega. He supposed that some of Steve’s fiery nature must have rubbed off on him, as he normally would have never taken on two alphas by himself, not when he was down an arm. But he’d taken one look at that omega, pretty brown eyes wide with distress, and leapt into action. It hadn’t been until both alphas had been sent off running with their tails between their legs that he’d realized the omega he’d rescued was Tony Stark, Steve’s arranged mate.

Unfortunately (fortunately? No, definitely unfortunately), the arranged match would never come to fruition as Bucky and Tony had looked at each other and immediately bonded without a shared word or bite between them.

Howard was furious, Fury less so—Bucky was still a SHIELD agent, even if he wasn’t the great Captain America, so the planned union between SHIELD and SI would still happen—but both Bucky and Tony insisted that it hadn’t been done on purpose. And, as neither had a mating bite but could still feel the other at the back of their mind, it was hard to disprove the existence of what had once been called a soulmate bond, though was now called the rather unglamorous name of Mate Bond Subtype C, which Bucky thought sounded like an illness.

The media thought it was the most romantic thing they’d ever heard. Steve, who was slowly courting another alpha from SHIELD, thought it was a relief. Bucky, who didn’t want an omega while he was still recovering from the surgery on his arm, thought it was a nightmare at first.

He didn’t know what Tony thought.

They might have shared a bond between them, but Tony had quickly figured out how to shield his feelings. It had taken Bucky a little bit more practice but he too had worked out how to keep his thoughts and feelings private, which was good, because he doubted Tony would like to know what he was thinking.

They’d been bonded for three months and, while Bucky had moved into Tony’s penthouse apartment, they didn’t share a room, let alone a bed. He still took long missions that took him away for weeks at a time. Tony spent more time at SI’s research labs than he did at home. Bucky hadn’t shared Tony’s heat, nor had Tony shared Bucky’s rut, though neither of them had invited anyone else into their beds. And other than their planned public outings where they had to touch to put on the façade of a happily bonded couple, they didn’t hold hands or kiss or lean into each other, giggling.

The problem was—Bucky wanted all of that. He wanted to sleep curled around Tony. He wanted the two of them to be home long enough to share more than one dinner together at a time. He desperately wanted to share cycles, but even more badly than that, he wanted to touch Tony as often as the omega could stand it. Because the problem was also this—sometime in the course of three months, he’d fallen in love.

Tony slid his hand into Bucky’s as they stood in the elevator. “It’s just a quick walk around the ballroom, say hi to a couple investors, and then we can leave,” he said reassuringly, giving Bucky a quick smile. “I know how much you hate these shindigs.”

This was true, Bucky did hate them, but he knew that Tony hated them just as much, though he hid it much better than Bucky did. “Don’t worry,” he replied, squeezing Tony’s hand quickly. “I’ll stick to you like glue.”

“Well, maybe not like glue. Like Velcro, maybe. Howard’s got a couple investors that I know he wants me to meet and that I know you’ll hate so you’re more than welcome to go off and find people more to your liking then. I heard Steve’s coming.”

Bucky had to fight to hide a frown. He knew Tony didn’t mean any harm by the comment, but he hated how Tony thought he wouldn’t want to be by his side even when meeting people he didn’t like. So what if he didn’t like them? He’d still prefer to be giving Tony silent support instead of wandering off and leaving him alone for that long.

Before he can respond, the elevator came to a smooth stop, the doors opening on a soft ding to reveal the glittering ballroom Maria Stark had chosen to host the Annual Stark Foundation’s Shareholders’ Ball, meant to honor those who had given so generously to charity over the last year. The room was decorated in delicate ice-like structures, calling to mind the snow blanketing the city outside, though it wasn’t nearly as cold inside. Golden chandeliers reflected off the dark windows, giving the impression of a never-ending stretch of light. It was all so very glitzy and glamorous. Bucky hated it. It was an obscene display of wealth, meant solely to remind everyone that the Starks were richer than anyone else in the room.

“One hour, Bucky Bear,” Tony murmured like he could hear Bucky’s thoughts. “And then we can go get burgers.”

He dropped Bucky’s hand in favor of sliding his own into the crook of Bucky’s elbow, gently steering him towards the first group of investors. Like every other rich person he’d met since bonding with Tony, they were simultaneously smug of their own “generosity” (mere pennies compared to their bank accounts) and jealous, both of Tony’s wealth and Bucky’s luck in landing a Stark (not his words). The smugness was blatant, the jealousy only slightly hidden in the way their eyes lingered as Bucky took the opportunity to brush his lips across Tony’s cheek, quietly telling him he was going to go get them drinks.

“I’ll be back before you even have time to miss me,” he promised, understanding the minute tightness at the corners of Tony’s eyes.

Tony smiled and nodded, attention already turning back to the investors—or, more likely, to his latest project, however much it might have looked like he was paying attention to Hugh Worthington IV. Bucky slipped through the crowd to the bar. Fortunately, it wasn’t crowded yet and he was able to order a whiskey for himself and a scotch for Tony, who always refused to drink the fruity drinks he actually preferred at these parties, almost immediately. As he waited, he turned back to the crowd, idly scanning it. Steve wasn’t there yet, if it was indeed true that Fury had managed to stuff him into a suit and send him off to schmooze. His eyes sought out Tony, who was laughing as he excused himself from the group Bucky had left him with, moving on to another small throng of people.

He smiled despite himself. Tony was lovely like this, despite his discomfort. Bucky got to see him laugh so rarely at home that he cherished every moment he got to see it while they were out in public.

“Sir, your drinks,” the bartender prompted. He thanked them absently and left a tip on the bar before making his way back across the ballroom to Tony’s side.

Tony wasn’t laughing now. In fact, if his pursed lips were anything to go off of, he was pretty furious, and Bucky wondered what had upset him between him leaving the bar and him returning to Tony’s side.

“Doll,” he said, letting Tony know he was there. Tony turned and took his drink, thanking him with a quick kiss that Bucky desperately wanted to turn into a longer, sweeter one.

“Honey, Senator Stern here was just telling me about an omega’s rights bill he filibustered so it wouldn’t pass,” Tony said, irritation bleeding into his tone.

“Now isn’t that interesting,” Bucky drawled, irritated himself. The bill in question was a law that he knew Tony had backed, as it would have put a stop to the arranged bondings the wealthy were so fond of. They’d both known it would be a longshot to pass, but they’d remained hopeful. “That’s the one that Stevie supported isn’t it?”

“It is,” Tony agreed. “My alpha here—” He patted Bucky’s chest. “—is close friends with Captain Rogers. They grew up together, you know. Steve spends nearly every Saturday evening with us. I’m sure he’ll be delighted to hear about this bill failing to pass. Isn’t he supposed to be putting in an appearance at the Senate hearing next week? It would be such a shame if he couldn’t make it.”

Tony’s statement was only partially true. Bucky mostly saw Steve at SHIELD, as Steve, despite being always welcome at their apartment, didn’t want to be reminded of how close he’d come to an arranged bonding of his own. But Steve, who had been an omega before receiving the serum, had always been an outspoken supporter of omega’s rights, and now that he was an alpha, and Captain America to boot, he used every bit of that privilege to push as much pro-omega legislature through Congress as he could. He was a thorn in conservative senators’ sides, like Stern, and it was a minor miracle that they’d gotten him to appear in front of Congress to talk positively about a Republican bill supporting an expansion of benefits for veterans, when he normally disagreed with anything Republican just on principle. Steve’s support would go a long way toward getting that bill passed.

Tony’s veiled threat was effective. Stern, one of the authors of the bill, blanched, making Bucky smile. He loved watching Tony do his thing. There was really nothing better than Tony putting bullies like Stern back in their place.

“I’ll see what I can do,” Stern stammered out before hurrying away.

As soon as he was gone, Tony drooped, leaning back against Bucky. It was nice, being able to lend his support to his omega, but Tony was standing up straight again after only a moment, the façade falling back over him.

“I really hate that guy,” Tony said softly. He looked up at Bucky. “Sorry about using your friendship with Steve like that. I was just so angry. Saw red for a second there.”

“Hey, it’s okay,” Bucky said. Impulsively, he reached out to clasp Tony’s shoulder, running his thumb soothingly over the soft skin just above his shirt collar. “You guys got a bad lot in life. You do what you gotta do to make it right.”

Tony hummed. “I really wanted that bill to pass. It wasn’t right, what Howard and Fury wanted me to do. I don’t want anyone else to have to go through that.”

“Sorry,” Bucky offered up. It was a lame apology, but he didn’t know what else he could say to make it better. He knew very well that if he and Tony hadn’t bonded that night, Steve would be Tony’s alpha.

To his surprise, Tony smiled and nudged his shoulder, teasing, “I don’t know, you’re not so bad.”

Bucky sputtered, nearly choking on his whiskey.

“Oh, look, Steve’s just arrived,” Tony said airily, like he hadn’t noticed the effect his words were having on Bucky. “Let’s go say hi.”

Talking to Steve at these events was always awkward. Tony and Steve were both aware that neither of them wanted anything to do with each other as mates, which made having to see each other a study in unspoken tension. He didn’t think it was that either of them had a problem with the other, and he suspected that they could even manage to be friends eventually, but it was that knowledge that they’d nearly been forced to mate that made things so tense between them. Still, he appreciated that Tony was willing to put up with it so that Bucky could see his best friend. It was the sort of small kindness that Tony unthinkingly did that had made Bucky fall in love with him so easily.

Tonight was no different. Tony and Steve exchanged no more than a few awkward words before Tony excused himself to go meet with Emma Frost. He didn’t bother kissing Bucky this time, as Steve was one of the few people they didn’t have to pretend with and it didn’t seem like anyone was watching them at the moment. It would have been different if they’d met up a few months ago. There’d been more than a few people who’d somehow got it into their heads that Steve and Tony’s proposed bond was a love match instead of arranged, and they’d all watched eagerly to see how Steve, Tony, and Bucky interacted in those days following Bucky and Tony’s bonding, clearly wondering if Steve was going to pick a fight. They’d been sorely disappointed, of course; Steve and Bucky didn’t fight over anything, let alone an omega that Steve hadn’t wanted.

“So Fury roped you into the dog and pony show, huh,” Bucky asked, eyeing the stiff collar of Steve’s shirt. He’d be willing to bet that it was brand new. Steve was much more at home in a pair of khakis and a flannel shirt than he was in a tuxedo.

“Senator Brandt actually,” Steve said, wrinkling his nose in distaste. “He thinks it’s good for me to make appearances and drum up support for SHIELD.”

“Sucks.” There was a niggling worry growing at the back of his mind, unrelated to Steve’s complaints about the brass, but Bucky didn’t know what it was. He glanced around the room, but was unable to spot anything amiss. He tried to put it out of his mind by asking, “How’s working with the Commandos?” He couldn’t entirely keep the bitterness out of his voice. Bucky had been moved out of the Commandos unit a few weeks before meeting Tony, and it wasn’t that he didn’t like being on Strike Team Delta, but he was still irritated that he hadn’t had a choice in the matter.

“Not the same without you,” Steve said, grimacing at him like he knew what was going through Bucky’s mind.

They continued talking about SHIELD as they slowly circulated the room and all the while, that worry was growing stronger, slowly morphing into fear, but it wasn’t until he happened to catch a glimpse of Tony standing in the corner and looking tense and unhappy that he realized they weren’t his feelings. They were Tony’s. Tony was worried and scared and had brought down his shields so that Bucky could feel his emotions and Bucky was standing on the other side of the room like an idiot.

“Excuse me,” he said brusquely, cutting Steve off. “Tony’s in trouble.”

He headed straight for Tony, pushing through the crowd without sparing a thought to anyone he might be offending as he shoved them aside. For once, it was Steve who was trailing after him, offering apologies to everyone who looked offended.

There was a look of naked relief in Tony’s eyes as Bucky marched up behind the alpha Tony was talking to. It was a look he’d never seen on Tony’s face before, at least not directed at him, and he wasn’t sure if he liked that his omega was happy to have him there or disliked that Tony had to be relieved at all.

“Something wrong, doll?” he asked, hand clamping down on the alpha’s shoulder.

“Bucky,” Tony breathed. He sagged back against the wall. “This is Aldrich Killian. He’d like to propose—” Tony’s mouth twisted unhappily. “He’d like to propose an omega trade. I told him I wasn’t interested, but he insisted on talking to you.”

Anger flared in Bucky’s chest, hot and furious. Omega trades weren’t common anymore, used mostly in backroom deals to secure a transaction. You treat my omega right and I’ll treat your omega right, and maybe we can have a deal. He knew the rich, traditional alphas Tony had grown up with still occasionally used them, but he hated them. He’d always hated them. The very concept treated omegas like property, like hostages, and the thought of seeing Tony—his Tony—under someone else had his vision shading red.

“Is that so?” he hissed.

Killian, the idiot, didn’t seem to notice Bucky’s growing anger. “Maya’s a great—” he began to say.

Bucky cut him off with a hand around his throat, slamming him into the wall.

“Bucky—” Steve started, a warning in his voice.

“Tell them it’s SHIELD business,” he snapped. “Isn’t that the usual excuse?”

What Steve did to placate the crowd growing around them, he didn’t know; he was too intent on Killian to care. “Let me get this straight,” he growled. “You asked Tony for a trade and when he told you no, because I know him, he wouldn’t ever want that and he wouldn’t be quiet about it, you cornered him and insisted you’d only listen to a no from me.” It wasn’t a question. Tony’s thoughts and emotions were flooding him with what Killian had tried to do to him. He growled again at the image of Killian’s hand on Tony’s arm, removed after only a moment. This—this—alpha had tried to put his hands on Tony, had ignored his clear no, and was still babbling on about whatever business deal he wanted out of Bucky—or, more likely, Tony, though as an omega, Tony wouldn’t be able to make that decision.

“It’s a yes or no question, Killian,” he finally snapped, losing his temper. “Did you or did you not ignore Tony’s answer—"

“He’s an omega,” Killian tried.

“He’s a person. He’s a person who was clearly uncomfortable with you and you should never have ignored that. The only reason you’re still standing and not laid out on the floor is because he cares about making a scene, but guess what, I don’t.” His hand tightened on Killian’s throat, making the man wheeze. “Do—”

“Bucky,” Tony said quietly, cutting through his anger.

Without removing his hand from Killian, he looked at Tony. Tony still looked a little shaken, but there was something else in his eyes, something that Bucky didn’t know how to describe.

“Let him go,” Tony continued. “You made your point.”

“He—”

“Yeah, he did,” Tony said, knowing what he was going to say. Bucky wondered if his own shields were down, letting Tony read his thoughts and feelings. “And you were here to stop it, so it’s okay. Let him go, we can go get burgers.”

He didn’t want to. He wanted to make sure Killian never laid hands on someone unwilling ever again, but then Steve was there, carefully pulling Bucky away as he muttered to him about seeing what Fury could do about Killian. And that wasn’t exactly what Bucky wanted, but it was better than nothing, and taking care of Tony was his priority anyway. So since Tony wanted burgers, he would go get burgers.

He spun on his heels, intent on heading to the elevators, only to freezes as soon as he saw Tony. They were supposed to be faking it, which meant that he should do something—wrap an arm around Tony’s waist or kiss his forehead or—or something. But Tony had just had to deal with an unwelcome touch. He shouldn’t have to deal with another one so soon afterwards.

Tony surprised him though by stepping forward and sliding his hand into Bucky’s, interlacing their fingers. “Come on, alpha. Let’s go home,” he said, leading Bucky through the crowd watching them. Bucky ignored them in favor of drinking in the sight of Tony whole and healthy, if not happy.

They were quiet in the elevator ride back down to the parking garage, quiet as they climbed into the back of the car, quiet as Happy pulled out onto the road. Then Tony slid across the backseat to tuck up against Bucky’s side. He rested his head on Bucky’s shoulder, and, after a moment, Bucky rested his cheek against Tony’s curls.

“I’m sorry,” he apologized. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“You didn’t,” Tony said. Bucky could feel the truth in his words through their bond, and he realized that Tony hadn’t put his mental shields back up. “I wouldn’t have asked for your help if I hadn’t been expecting something like that.”

“Shouldn’t have taken it so far though. I know you’re not—we’re not—” He grimaced as he fumbled over the words. He’d been able to admit for three months that he and Tony weren’t in a relationship, why was it so hard now?

Tony hesitated before carefully saying, “We could be.”

“We—what?”

“Bucky Bear,” Tony said warmly, sitting up so he could look him in the eyes. “You have to know—people don’t just do what you did tonight or the night we met, for that matter. Not for me. I—I don’t know, the way we bonded, it threw me off. I wasn’t expecting it and I reacted badly. But—then the way you reacted to Killian got me thinking—maybe we could try?”

“Try?” Bucky whispered.

“Try us?” Tony asked, leaning back in slowly, giving Bucky enough time to move away if he wanted to.

He didn’t want to. “Yeah,” he breathed. “We could try. I—I’d like that.”

Tony smiled at him, bright and lovely, and closed the distance between them.

#alle writes #winteriron #if you like please consider reblogging #alle answers

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kareofbears · 5 years ago

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Thoughts on Shusumi as a ship?

i think ive stared at this ask long enough to type out something half decent

short answer: no, sorry not for me, but its not her fault.

the rest is under the cut because i love to prattle

long answer: ive talked about this before and ill keep talking about it, which is the tragedy of yoshizawa sumire’s character. basically atlus decided that they wanted to make sumire the perfect girl in the entire game. she has to hit every single box on the waifu checklist without fail.

they introduce her as the mysterious character--she saves joker right at the beginning of the game and its supposed to be a shocking moment for returning players because ‘why does joker need help from some girl oh my she must be so cool!’ and immedietely youre supposed to be intrigued by her and her mystery. but then right after they do that, they re introduce her by doing the most stereotypical archetype of the male love interest saving the cute small girl from a creepy man to show how good of a guy he is and in that moment Atlus had locked themselves into an uneven power dynamic between shusumi--she feels indebted to him because he saved her! so she has to work hard to make it up to him! classic anime trope because dudebros love that whole ‘girl throws herself at me because of how amazing i am’ thing. and its supposed to be a fun play because ‘how fun, they saved each other’ but honestly sumire literally did not need to save joker in sae’s palace because???? what??? it just doesnt make sense?????? even the game couldnt explain that part properly afterwards.

and to add insult to injury, they make her call him senpai. theres this trope in anime called the imoto trope which translates to “little sister.” this could be non-sexual/romantic but many times it just means that a girl looks for guidance to a male figure in her life so he can “protect” her so she feels indebted/reliant to him, etc. the fact that shes the only one calling him senpai makes her perfectly slot into the imoto trope. it’s tripe. its annoying. its demeaning. it’s especially infuriating because futaba is already the imoto figure in this stupid game and she works perfectly without a romantic subplot. they just want to give akira another leg-up over sumire for the dudebros because dudebros eat that kind of shit up

and thats the most annoying thing!!

look, i love yoshizawa sumire with my entire heart. shes a great character with an incredible backstory. ive written a lot of fic about her. i love her. shes great. Atlus knows shes great--they made her great because in order to make a perfect waifu you need to make her three dimensional because the dudebros would never accept a half-assed waifu because jeez who do you think we are

but. atlus did this horrifically infuriating thing where they know sumire is great BUT they did it in a way where she will never ever be better than, or threaten the power and competence, of the player.

its like they’re (atlus) playing the most infuriating game of im not touching you when they were trying to make sumires character. they make this character and she’s super cool (but not rude! because if shes rude then shes a bitch and she wont be waifu material!) and she’s a badass (but she isnt as good as joker! because he still has to be the most skillful character for some reason!) she has to be pretty (but she can’t be interested in shopping or makeup because shes supposed to be smart and not like other girls!)

because atlus miscalculated while they were developping sumire--because they were so desperate in making her a three dimmensional character (because remember, she can’t be one of those normal girls, she has to be different), they erased who she was to the point that she isn’t a character anymore. she’s a girl that’s ten tropes rolled into one--she’s the badass good girl, she’s a girl with a tragic backstory so akira can ‘fix’ her (her flaws are all accounted for and fixed and that is not a good thing in writing but i wont get into it now). its like they wrote this great backstory for a character and then panicked that you might not like her, so they shoved in twelve other tactics to make her likeable.

she’s pretty, she’s deep, she’s perfect. she’s hollow. Yoshizawa Sumire only exists to be a love interest in persona 5 royal.

she can’t stand on her own legs as a character because she isn’t a character--she’s only there to be akira’s perfect other half; from her metaverse outfit, to the weirdly frequent and often one-on-one hangouts the two of them have, to their boss battle??? (oh yes a boss battle is necessary so that these two characters can move past whatever feud they have so their relationship can strengthen and they’re even more perfect together, etc, its another way atlus is forcing us to see how great sumire and akira are together)

and that’s why i dont like shusumi as a ship. because why in hell is atlus trying to shove this “perfect waifu” down our throats when its supposed to be the player’s choice? we as the players have no choice but to see sumire constantly. its like atlus doesnt trust us to see how great their new character is on our own--which is a shame, because ironically if they had given us less sumire screentime i probably would have like how she was used way more.

atlus tried too hard, and that was the cause of sumire’s downfall, and by extension, the downfall of shusumi.

short explanation part two: anyway shusumi isnt for me because it never stood a chance against akiryu

if you like shusumi, great! good for you. but if i was, say, a shuann shipper, i would be so so so annoyed because its like atlus just shafted all of their other characters to make room for their shiny new one.

I don't like shusumi because the result was not enough given the sheer amount of screentime that that had together. It did not justify how much time and development it took away from the other characters. Atlus weakened it's own game by devoting so much of it to shusumi.

#i love this ask #thank you mushroomfusion #ask #asks

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harryseyebrows · 6 years ago

Text

so here’s my peace on the article, not that anyone asked. and im sure i’ll get shouted at BUT, here goes.

i think the very nature of fandom is to direct a lot of time, energy, emotions into a single entity, whether that be a person, group, book, show, etc. i think its safe to assume that in most cases, we enjoy that particular entity because it appeals to us, and perhaps on some level, an element of it/them rings true with a part of ourselves. i joke and say that we didnt pick harry and instead he chose US, harry potter sorting hat style. but what i think is that it speaks (potentially) to something deeper: that there’s an unspoken feeling, instinct, etc that drew us to him, and has kept us here this long.

when you put that type of energy into someone (someone who feels larger than life a lot of the time, but we must remember that he’s a real human person with a life and feelings and sides of himself that we might never be privy to), i think it’s only natural to have some unrealistic expectations and wants regarding aspects of that person. what’s unique (or not that unique, i dont know as i dont follow anyone else as closely as i do him) about a sizable chunk of harry’s fan is that a lot of us are lgbt. and with that comes a whole slew of very complicated feelings. a lot of us know better than anyone what its like to totally hate the idea of someone prying into your personal life. the uncomfortableness that comes with someone asking you a question where you know the answer you give is going to affect how they see you. we know what it’s like to desperately want some type of representation; the sheer joy of finding out that someone you admire is like you in some way. and grappling with feelings that are seemingly on opposite ends of a spectrum of happiness and anger isnt easy. at our cores, i would like to hope that we’re all decent people (and while im here, being lgbt does not make you exempt from criticism or being shitty, despite what some might like to think) who have a firm grasp of understanding on how invasive and unnecessary it is for people to be picked apart about their sexuality/gender; that a person should be allowed to exercise autonomy and say ‘im not obligated to explain myself or how i feel’. however, i do think that a part of human nature, from the time we learn to speak and pester people with questions of ‘why’ and ‘how’, that we’re often insatiably curious. we like definitive answers. we like having something tangible to hold onto. throw in the undeniably confusing phenomena that seems to surround the concept of celebrity, where once a person becomes famous, their whole life and self should be available for public consumption at all times, and you have a cocktail for some weirdness.

i have found myself guilty of being frustrated by harrys...aloofness. his desire for ambiguity. ‘why doesnt he just say SOMETHING’ or ‘i would like a more clear answer’ pop up frequently, usually when quotes and interviews like these arise and stir up feelings that are usually more dormant and placid. but, then i take a step back. and remember that im not entitled to anything. none of us are. we’re very luck he shares with us the things he does. ive come to realize that there is nothing more authentic than his palpable trepidation whenever the subject of sexuality is brought up. how would i feel, in his shoes? probably not very good. i wouldn’t want to be needled and questioned. i haven’t even told my parents about how i identify, never mind the whole world. ive also been guilty of questioning the vague nature of his quotes. text is a funny medium--tone can be interpreted many ways when youre not hearing the person speak, when youre not able to see their expressions. ive thought ‘maybe im projecting too much. maybe he actually means this’ re: ‘ive never felt the need to label myself’. and, as much as anyone doesnt want to hear it, there’s still the possibility that we could be reading it wrong, and thats okay too. but harry asking ‘why’ regarding the reason behind being asked in the first place, saying that its not a case of sitting on an answer to keep it from people, saying ‘who cares?’ needs to be taken for what it is.

i understand, selfishly, where the interviewer was coming from with ‘unless the person behind it happens to be a straight dude, sprinkling lgbtq crumbs that lead to nowhere.’ it perhaps could’ve been handled more delicately, and i think its definitely a tad aggressive when harry seemed done with the question already, but i get the sentiment. and that just brings me back to my original point: that we know what the boundaries are, we have the understanding that harry doesnt owe us any explanations, but we’re still curious. ive seen a lot of people upset that the question was even asked, people upset that they didn’t get the answers they might have been after, and people asserting that they know the real truths behind harry’s words/thoughts/actions. there’s hope for 2 of those 3 groups. for the first, i try to remind myself that harry has a good head on his shoulders. he knows how to stand up for himself (this interview proved what we already knew). his words alone have filled me with a sense of confidence that he simply does not give a fuck about what other people think or say. for the second group, if youre feeling a little stung, i want you to think about why. why is it so important to you that he say one thing or another; your priority should be yourself. stop putting so much stock into the identity of others. wanting to connect and share a thread with another person is totally natural, but you have to remember that harry is a real person who isn’t existing to support you or be a performance of your hopes and desires re: what you want from him. step back and reflect. sometimes its not the initial thoughts, but how you change and learn. as for the third group, if youre not harry styles or have not been informed via harry styles himself about anything regarding his identity, you dont know shit. you can interpret things any way you want, but don’t make sweeping statements and pretend to be enlightened when youre no better than the people who assume he’s straight, no matter how you justify it to yourself under the guise of support and understanding. and that’s all i have to say

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mailorderfictionalcharacter · 4 years ago

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I actually wanna thank you for your text post about the weird trend (that is still very much ongoing) about writing articles or talking about Rory as a product of how she was raised or her privilege. Tbh I never really took any of those arguments or even people saying that Logan somehow "taught her about her privilege" seriously because even after their argument over the article, this never happens? And frankly he was more angry with her over the fact that she criticized people that he considers similar to himself, I highly doubt that if Rory was a lower-middle class person on a scholarship to Yale that he even would've extended any support or interest in the article beyond being angry over it in general. Anyway, I think viewers give the show way too much credit sometimes in how it deals with class differences because the truth is it never really does. It never brings up class differences as a topic in Rory's relationships with Dean and Jess or even with Logan, since yeah, Rory does have rich grandparents, but she never lives the rich life the way he does, and you could even argue she's less sheltered than he is since given her and Lorelai's history, as you mentioned they pretty much went through three social classes in different times. The most she does live it is in about 3 months in that period in season 6 when she took a break, and like you mentioned, she never treats it as a fully conscious "I'll be a rich person doing rich people things now", it's literally just her taking up anything because she doesn't know what to to with herself. And aside from having her tuition fees being paid for firstly by her grandparents and then by her father later on, we never really see either of those people have to pull strings in order for Rory to get a job. Sure, her grandparents WANT her to meet people and make connections, but this is never really brought forth as a reason for Rory to like, get a big job she wanted at the New York Times or anything of the sort. And yeah, Rory gets into Yale pretty much because of her grandfather's connections, but even this is never framed in a way that is conscious of how even with the Chilton education and her hard work, you'd need a connection to get into such a prestigious and pretty exclusive Ive League. It's pretty much the same situation in the revival as well, people immediately guessed that she MUST HAVE spent through her allowance left for her by her grandparents, but we literally never see that happen? I believe that even when the head writer was asked as to how Rory was able to fly so frequently between London and Connecticut, her response was "she has a lot of flyer miles saved up". And considering how these writers went back and forth between "Luke has a LOT of money" to "Luke can't even afford a car", they obviously sooner forgot about Rory having a large sum of money prepared for her by her grandparents than make some very Deep message that Rory actually spent all of it because she's a spoiled rich brat or something. In general the show would always bring up class differences as a way to insert relationship drama, and this isn't even framed as a "you have more money than me" scenario, it's often instigated by the grandparents and it's always based around the idea of someone being lesser just because they're not rich, but just as this is quickly inserted is this taken away because the drama has ran it's course now, we don't need any more of it, bye. So yeah, that's my two cents on the matter.

I feel like the way people argue over Gilmore Girls or make jokes about how Lorelai is actually very spoiled because "ugh its just dinner with her family she's asking for all this money and can't even sit through that", or just the general way in which a LOT of people seem to love viewing Rory (which I chalk partly up to them just being desperate to follow this ongoing trend now where we all 'consciously' reassess media we used to love when we were younger and its actually horrible and all these characters that we liked turned into terrible people with bad politics because Subversiveness or whatever. And its not to say that Rory is only ever perfect because she isn't, her story just isn't about a kid turning evil) is a combination of today's times where we're obviously a lot more aware of certain issues and topics than most people used to be 20 years ago, but it's also this weird trend where we have to bash everything that doesn't remotely uphold these bizarre standards that aren't even set right. Yes, Gilmore Girls isn't perfect by far, but 20 years ago it was significant because it featured a cast of women that were in the forefront. Obviously its a product of its own time as everything else is, but it's also pretty unchangeable and even the revival made it clear that the material has just aged and more or less belongs in its own time. And that doesn't mean it's exempt from being criticized, but even it's own awareness of its characters is pretty limited based off of when it aired and was created.

Like.. also thank you very much for sharing this moment of taking Gilmore Girls seriously with me.

In response to:

Honestly there seemed to be a somewhat emotionally abusive element to the Emily-Lorelai relationship. Like, not the type where someone is consciously manipulative or disregards their child’s feelings on purpose, but the type where you try to raise a kid to live a good life without ever reassessing or allowing your child to have agency in deciding what their good life should look like.

For example, I’m thinking about Lorelai’s parent’s trying to force her to marry Christopher but also the little things we’ve seen in flashbacks. Like, the scene where she doesn’t fit her dress because of her secret teen pregnancy and when Emily notices Emily is very critical and tells her to run around the block (because oh, the horror of gaining ~5 pounds and not fitting a dress).

Gilmore Girls isn’t the Perfect Text but it holds a special place in my heart for showing a multigenerational complicated family dynamic. In my own life, my family is complicated with generations of trauma, social norms, discomforts, and what have you regularly clashing and Gilmore Girls will always hold a special place in my heart for embracing messy family dynamics instead of creating sanitized characters.

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thekoshertribble · 6 years ago

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“The days and the years ahead are worth living for.” Women of Star Trek Blog Entry #17: “The City on the Edge of Forever” Edith Keeler

“The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few, or the one.” This phrase, introduced in 1982′s Star Trek: Wrath of Khan, is most often associated with Spock’s ultimate sacrifice to save the Enterprise from destruction. But the concept this phrase represents had appeared in the original series, 20 years earlier, in certain moments and people. Nowhere else is this better represented than in the character of Edith Keeler, and her own sacrifice, in the iconic episode, “the City on the Edge of Forever.”

If you need a quick refresher, here is a short synopsis. When McCoy, in a drugged state, steps into the Guardian of Forever and alters Earth’s history, Kirk and Spock must follow him back in time to correct and save their timeline. The Guardian sends them back to the approximate place and time of McCoy’s alteration: New York City, during the Great Depression. They soon find the source of the alteration in the form of a young woman named Edith Keeler. While waiting for McCoy’s arrival, Kirk develops feelings for Keeler (and vice versa). At the same time, however, Spock discovers that McCoy’s prevention of her death in a traffic accident altered history. When McCoy arrives later in his drugged up state, Keeler finds him and does her best to nurse him back to health. A few days later, Spock and Kirk reunite with McCoy just as Keeler is crossing the street - McCoy steps out to try and save her, but Kirk holds him back, thus allowing her to be killed and correcting the timeline. A heartbroken Kirk returns with his two friends to the Enterprise.

The story mostly focuses on Kirk’s conflict of heart, having to choose between his own timeline and love: the needs of the many vs. the one. He makes the “logical” choice, saving his own timeline. However, it was Edith herself who had to make the ultimate sacrifice, giving up her life to save the future of Earth, even though she never knew it.

To make matters more tragic, Edith Keeler did, (or would do) nothing wrong. This was not like Deadpool going back in time to kill Hitler as a baby. On the contrary, Keeler was a radical pacifist. Had she lived, she would become the leader of a nation-wide peace movement. Unfortunately, this peace movement prevented the United State’s entry into World War Two, thus allowing Nazi Germany to take over the world. As Kirk and Spock remark:

KIRK: But she was right. Peace was the way.

SPOCK: She was right, but at the wrong time.

In one scene, Edith remarks that Kirk seems out of place, which is obviously true. Ironically though, Edith herself seems to be out of place, in her own place and time. She sees a hopeful future of peace and prosperity that no one else around her can see, and she acts towards others they way that people in that future should act, in her opinion. I’m not going to go so far as to say she is flawless, but it’s very hard to find reasons not to like her. She possesses a great many positive traits, as noted in the following scenes:

When Edith first encounters Kirk and Spock in the basement of her soup kitchen, she has the following conversation:

KIRK: Excuse us, miss. We didn't mean to trespass. It's cold outside.

EDITH: A lie is a poor way to say hello. It isn't that cold.

KIRK: No. We were being chased by a policeman.

EDITH: Why?

KIRK: These clothes. We stole them. We didn't have any money.

EDITH: Well, I could do with some help around here. Doing dishes, sweeping, general cleaning.

Her first line tells us two things about Keeler: One, she is not the gullible type. She can see through a man’s lies, even when he’s a charming at Kirk can be. Two: she has a strong moral code. This first line is partly reprimand, partly a refutation of an obvious lie.

But, she balances that strong moral code with understanding and forgiveness. Instead of turning Kirk and Spock over to the cops or forcing them to return the clothes, she offers them a jobs with the soup kitchen. She understands they stole clothes out of necessity and desperation. She gives them work to not only alleviate their poverty; she also gives them an opportunity to “pay back” for their stealing by doing work. In other words, while she doesn’t ignore the fact they stole, Edith looks to see the good in Kirk and Spock, and she believes they can be redeemed.

We see this again a few scenes later, when Spock steals the tools from a workman’s box. She strongly reprimands him, and asks him why he did it, but she still does not lose her faith in him. (To be fair, her suspicion of him is alleviated by Kirk, but I still think Keeler ultimately came her own conclusions.)

Her faith in people also extends to humanity in general. As soup is served to a small crowd of homeless people, Edith stands up on a podium and gives them the following speech:

“Now, as I'm sure somebody out there has said, it's time to pay for the soup. Now, let's start by getting one thing straight. I'm not a do-gooder. If you're a bum, if you can't break off of the booze or whatever it is that makes you a bad risk, then get out. Now I don't pretend to tell you how to find happiness and love when every day is just a struggle to survive, but I do insist that you do survive because the days and the years ahead are worth living for. One day soon man is going to be able to harness incredible energies, maybe even the atom. Energies that could ultimately hurl us to other worlds in some sort of spaceship. And the men that reach out into space will be able to find ways to feed the hungry millions of the world and to cure their diseases. They will be able to find a way to give each man hope and a common future, and those are the days worth living for. “

Before this speech, a man warns Kirk that he’ll “be sorry,” because he’ll “have to listen to goody-two-shoes�� in exchange for the free meal. It’s suggests that Keeler gave this speech, or some variant of it, every night to whoever frequented the soup kitchen. Considering the dismal setting, its no surprise that the locals became a bit jaded by this daily optimistic message. It’s easy to write off her words as delusional, just as her audience does judging from their reaction, but Edith Keeler is not a delusional person. She is not naive to the pain and suffering around her - she runs a soup kitchen in the depths of the Great Depression, after all. She acknowledges her dark environment but does not allow that to stop her from seeing the light in humanity’s future.

It’s this characteristic that, I think, draws Keeler to Kirk and vice versa. (Remember, Kirk survived the horrors of Tarsus IV, and despite that hardship, believes in the ability of humanity to rise above its bloodstained history.) He is impressed not only by her insight into future human events (atomic power and space travel), but her unwavering hope.

EDITH: Why? What is so funny about man reaching for the moon?

KIRK: How do you know?

EDITH: I just know, that's all. I feel it. And more, I think that one day they'll take all the money they spend now on war and death

KIRK: And make them spend it on life?

EDITH: Yes. You see the same things that I do. We speak the same language.

KIRK: The very same.

Lastly, her most obvious trait is her generosity and willingness to help anyone in need. We see this in her first scene, offering a job to Kirk and Spock, total strangers in her soup kitchen’s basement. She later finds them a “flop” to sleep in - otherwise the two men would probably have spent their nights waiting for McCoy in the city’s alleyways. Next, when on a date with Kirk, she senses something is bothering him, and asks: “Are you afraid of something? Whatever it is, let me help.” And finally, she finds McCoy as he stumbles into her soup kitchen and nurses him back to health in her office.

Let me reemphasize that last bit. Remember when McCoy jumped back through the portal screaming bloody murder about bloody murder, and that homeless guy sees him, drops the bottle of milk he stole and bolts in the opposite direction? Contrast that to Keeler’s reaction, when she finds McCoy. To be fair, he’s not screaming bloody murder at this point - more like mumbling, really - but he still looks like a plague victim and no one wants to go near him. Except for Edith. Instead of running away from him, like everyone else around her, she does the exact opposite and helps him herself.

Tragically, it’s her saving of McCoy that ultimately kills her. If she had ignored him, or called the police on him, he likely wouldn’t have been in the right place and time to save her life.

None of this is to say that good deeds shouldn’t be done because they won’t be rewarded. Quite the contrary - we should do good deeds for their own sake, not for the reward we might get. Yeah, that might sound preachy and obvious, but it’s surprising just how easily we can forget these things in practice.

Before I wrap this long blog post up, I’ll make one more point: although we’re not engaged in a world war or a devastating economic depression, it’s no secret things aren’t exactly great right now. My new years resolution was to stop saying “it can’t get worse,” because each time I said that I was proven wrong. But maybe Edith’s message is still relevant. Maybe the days and the years ahead are still worth living for. Just a crazy thought.

Next entry: Operation: Annihilate!

#women of star trek #star trek women #The City on the Edge of Forever #edith keeler #star trek the original series #kirk #spock #mccoy #captain kirk #james kirk #mr spock #dr mccoy #star trek tos #tos

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katiapagan · 6 years ago

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What is the Normal Recovery Time for Bunion Surgery?

Bunion Surgery Recovery Time

Your feet are some of your most precious commodities. That’s why it’s so difficult to commit to any procedure involving them. People are worried about being taken out of the game with a long recovery time. Traditional methods of foot surgery are no longer acceptable, especially because there is now a far better way to get rid of your bunions, hammer toe and heel spurs.

A bunion (also known as hallux valgus) is a fairly common foot condition that globally affects up to 23% of 18-to 65-year-olds and 35% of those over 65. Prior treatment has always involved invasive open foot surgery. But who can afford to have their foot propped up for six weeks? It’s simply not feasible.

Today, outpatient foot procedures are like a developed art. Bunions no longer have to put you on your back. Doctors have found amazing ways to keep people moving, even after foot surgery. Different surgical procedures require different recovery times. Your procedure depends on your specific case.

Do I Have a Bunion?

If you have an angular and bony bump on the inside of your foot at the main big toe joint (often covered by calluses) you may have a bunion. Bunions frequently go untreated until they become too severe because they can be more of an annoyance than painful. However, when left untreated, it may lead to more extensive surgery and further foot problems.

Bunions grow slowly over time, which is why many people are surprised when they begin to feel discomfort. Swelling and tenderness at the base of the toe means you need to get into a doctor before further complications occur.

Bunions can range from mild to severe deformities and can be caused by a series of things. They can be an inherited structural defect or simply a result of bad shoes. However, no over-the- counter remedy has ever “cured” them.

Bunions typically require surgery. There are two main types of bunion surgery: Traditional Open surgery and Minimally Invasive surgery. Each include different procedures.

Traditional Foot Surgery

The traditional means of removing bunions is why people avoid it to begin with. Having your foot sliced open, then filled with pins and sutures, can make even the bravest fearful. There are hundreds of different ways to treat bunions in a surgical manner and those who opt for traditional open bunion surgery are often dissatisfied with the results.

In some studies, 25% to 33% of patients did not like the outcome. The authors of the Cochrane review also stated that the three-year post-operative check-up was not enough time to determine the total effectiveness of the procedure. Ultimately, the type of operation you are given could simply come down to what your doctor prefers. That’s a dangerous slippery slope in medicine. There are a variety of obstacles to overcome after a traditional bunion surgery, which can include the following.

Possible Complications of Traditional Foot Surgery Include:

Poor Circulation: Since the foot is the furthest from the heart, it takes the longest to receive blood. This causes an increased risk of not only poor circulation at the site of a surgery, but of infection as well.

Elevation Drawbacks: In traditional bunion surgery, the foot must be elevated to heal properly. This method decreases circulation even further, which slows the entire process.

Higher Stress: The longer the healing process, the harder it becomes for your foot. That’s because it’s one of the most used parts of your body and therefore, is highly subjected to mechanical stress. Patients are apt to break sutures and reinjure simply from trying to move around their home.

Slower Healing: The healing process for traditional bunion surgery can be brutal. While the recovery itself can take up to six weeks, the entire healing process may last for up to six months. Additionally, patients are in a cast for two weeks and then must return to have their sutures removed.

For these reasons, wound healing issues occur most frequently with conventional open foot surgery. The idea is to treat bunions with a procedure that takes the least amount of time to heal with minimal pain. One that is much less invasive.

Minimally Invasive Foot Surgery

During the 1990’s, a new type of bunion procedure was being developed; minimally invasive surgery. Due to the major drawbacks of traditional methods, doctors were striving to come up with a procedure that wouldn’t disrupt the lives of their patients. They knew if they could decrease healing time, they would simultaneously satisfy patients and mitigate risks. There is a multitude of benefits to modern, minimally invasive foot surgery. In fact, many patients find it almost unbelievable that they can walk out of the operating room. Especially compared to the alternative. Other advantages include:

Local, not general anesthesia: Patients never lose consciousness, nor do they need to have an IV inserted into their arm.

Zero intubation: No patient ever has to be intubated or have a breathing tube because they are conscious the entire time.

No fasting: Minimally invasive surgery does not require fasting. You can have a coffee and a donut right before you go in.

Zero absences: If you need to be on the job, there is no need to miss work. You can have your procedure in the morning and be at your desk by noon.

No crutches: No wheelchairs, no scooters, no extras needed.

Studies have demonstrated that after minimally invasive corrective surgery on their bunions, 85% of patients report a “good” or “very good” outcome, while 10% report satisfactory results. Minimally invasive surgery is generally the key option for anyone on-the-go that needs to treat their feet.

The longer you wait when you suspect a bunion, the longer the recovery time. After surgery, expect to wear a boot no matter what method you choose. Icing your foot and toe can reduce inflammation and you might remain slightly swollen for a few weeks.

While choosing surgery is always a risk, a minimally invasive technique is the least disruptive. There is no need to return for suture removal or elevate your foot for weeks. Not only are the risks significantly reduced, the recovery time is quick, so you can get back to your life, the very same day.

The post What is the Normal Recovery Time for Bunion Surgery? appeared first on Northwest Surgery Center.

What is the Normal Recovery Time for Bunion Surgery? posted first on https://northwestsurgerycenter.com

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sarahwingate · 6 years ago

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What is the Normal Recovery Time for Bunion Surgery?

Bunion Surgery Recovery Time

Do I Have a Bunion?

Bunions typically require surgery. There are two main types of bunion surgery: Traditional Open surgery and Minimally Invasive surgery. Each include different procedures.

Traditional Foot Surgery

Possible Complications of Traditional Foot Surgery Include:

Elevation Drawbacks: In traditional bunion surgery, the foot must be elevated to heal properly. This method decreases circulation even further, which slows the entire process.

Minimally Invasive Foot Surgery

Local, not general anesthesia: Patients never lose consciousness, nor do they need to have an IV inserted into their arm.

Zero intubation: No patient ever has to be intubated or have a breathing tube because they are conscious the entire time.

No fasting: Minimally invasive surgery does not require fasting. You can have a coffee and a donut right before you go in.

Zero absences: If you need to be on the job, there is no need to miss work. You can have your procedure in the morning and be at your desk by noon.

No crutches: No wheelchairs, no scooters, no extras needed.

The post What is the Normal Recovery Time for Bunion Surgery? appeared first on Northwest Surgery Center.

What is the Normal Recovery Time for Bunion Surgery? published first on https://northwestsurgerycenter.com

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lauragrifin · 6 years ago

Text

What is the Normal Recovery Time for Bunion Surgery?

Bunion Surgery Recovery Time

Do I Have a Bunion?

Bunions typically require surgery. There are two main types of bunion surgery: Traditional Open surgery and Minimally Invasive surgery. Each include different procedures.

Traditional Foot Surgery

Possible Complications of Traditional Foot Surgery Include:

Elevation Drawbacks: In traditional bunion surgery, the foot must be elevated to heal properly. This method decreases circulation even further, which slows the entire process.

Minimally Invasive Foot Surgery

Local, not general anesthesia: Patients never lose consciousness, nor do they need to have an IV inserted into their arm.

Zero intubation: No patient ever has to be intubated or have a breathing tube because they are conscious the entire time.

No fasting: Minimally invasive surgery does not require fasting. You can have a coffee and a donut right before you go in.

Zero absences: If you need to be on the job, there is no need to miss work. You can have your procedure in the morning and be at your desk by noon.

No crutches: No wheelchairs, no scooters, no extras needed.

The post What is the Normal Recovery Time for Bunion Surgery? appeared first on Northwest Surgery Center.

What is the Normal Recovery Time for Bunion Surgery? syndicated from https://northwestsurgerycenter.com

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northwestsurgerycenter · 6 years ago

Text

What is the Normal Recovery Time for Bunion Surgery?

Bunion Surgery Recovery Time

Do I Have a Bunion?

Bunions typically require surgery. There are two main types of bunion surgery: Traditional Open surgery and Minimally Invasive surgery. Each include different procedures.

Traditional Foot Surgery

Possible Complications of Traditional Foot Surgery Include:

Elevation Drawbacks: In traditional bunion surgery, the foot must be elevated to heal properly. This method decreases circulation even further, which slows the entire process.

Minimally Invasive Foot Surgery

Local, not general anesthesia: Patients never lose consciousness, nor do they need to have an IV inserted into their arm.

Zero intubation: No patient ever has to be intubated or have a breathing tube because they are conscious the entire time.

No fasting: Minimally invasive surgery does not require fasting. You can have a coffee and a donut right before you go in.

Zero absences: If you need to be on the job, there is no need to miss work. You can have your procedure in the morning and be at your desk by noon.

No crutches: No wheelchairs, no scooters, no extras needed.

The post What is the Normal Recovery Time for Bunion Surgery? appeared first on Northwest Surgery Center.

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glassandmetalwings · 7 years ago

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So…I said I was going to talk about JW Alive mechanics, since I’m talking about it a lot. I’m going to go ahead and talk about fusion first.

JWA Dino Fusion 101

Let’s start with the basics: dinos come in, to my knowledge, five rarities. They are, in order: common (C), rare (R), epic (E), legendary (L), and unique (Uni). While there doesn’t seem to be specific determining factors (like how water-types in GO can be found near bodies of water), certain dinos seem to spawn more frequently in certain areas. For example, I get a bunch of tarbosaurs (C) near my house, but Erin doesn’t see them often where she lives.

Different rarities of dinos require different amounts of DNA to create, and start at different levels when you create them. Of course, you can always level dinos by getting more DNA:

Common: 50 DNA, level 1 Rare: 100, level 6 Epic: 150, level 11 Legendary: 200, 16 Unique: ??? I’m assuming 250 but I’ve yet to see any. Probably 21???

While creating the dino doesn’t require coins (the non-premium currency that you get at supply drops), leveling it up does, with the number of coins you need increasing with each level. This is basically the only use for coins, but after a while you really need it.

Luckily, they don’t have anything like IVs, so all the DNA goes to the exact same dino-you don’t have limited storage space and don’t have to pick the ‘strongest’ of the same dino to level.

In addition, many dinos have fusion possibilities. To make them, you have to reach a certain level with both necessary dinos, and then fuse them using extra DNA. Fusing also costs coins (the amount of which will vary depending on the rarity of the resulting hybrid, but will never increase). However! When you’re fusing, the extra DNA from your two dinos get turned into what seems to be a random amount of DNA for the hybrid; sometimes you get 10 DNA points, sometimes you get 40, I go 80 or 90 once. So fusing once won’t automatically give you the dino.

The resulting hybrid will be one level of rarity higher than the rarer of the two dinos (if they’re different rarities). So fusion between a common and an epic will create a legendary hybrid. This hybrid will start at the appropriate level listed above.

For example:

Einiosaurus (C) and nundasuchus (C) DNA can be combined to create an einiasuchus (R), which will be level 7 upon creation. To create it, you must have reached level 5 for both original dinos, and the initial fusion cost is 20 coins per fusion attempt. Each fusion attempt requires 50 extra points of DNA from both (as in, DNA that hasn’t been invested in leveling it up again), and will give you a random multiple of 10 points of einiasuchus DNA. As a rare, einiasuchus requires 100 points of its own DNA. This means at the worst, it would take 10 fusion attempts that each produce 10 points of DNA. This would cost 200 coins total, and 500 eninosauris and 500 nundasuchus DNA points each.

Make sense? Kind of? I’m still learning.

And so this creates a certain level of resource allocation. Do you use the DNA you get from a dino to level it up, or (once you’ve reached the necessary level) do you put it towards making and leveling up a hybrid? Some dinos (such as nundasuchus) have multiple possible hybrids, requiring careful planning.

On a related note, sometimes hybrids can be combined with other dinos (or other hybrids) to create even rarer and stronger hybrids:

At level 10, apatosaurus (C) and nodosaurus (R) can be combined to create nodopatosaurus (E) (AKA that thing that was in my front yard). Nodopatosaurus and stegosaurus (C) can then (when you have enough DNA) be combined to create stegodeus (L) when they’re both level 15.

…I was going to give you the math for that, but I haven’t done enough of this to tell you how many points of DNA it takes from each base dino to make progressively rarer hybrids. It does take more, but it doesn’t show me how much until one of those two dinos reaches the necessary level. I’m pretty sure it’s set by the rarity of the hybrid. But consider it this way:

The amount of DNA and coins you need to level up a dino increases with level.

Once you reach that level, you need an established amount of DNA from both dinos per fusion attempt. At worst you’ll only get 10 points of the new DNA. This is a fairly common outcome. The rarer the hybrid, the more DNA it takes per fusion attempt, and the more combined fusion DNA is needed to complete the fusion.

If a hybrid takes another hybrid dino to create, you’re drawing from the DNA of at least three dinos (the two creating the fusion and a normal dino, put possibly another fusion dino as well) to make it. So everything that went into making that first fusion is then used to 1) level up the hybrid and 2) make extra DNA to create and level up the fancier hybrid.

And that’s JWA Fusion 101. There’s probably a lot more to cover, and Erin and I briefly discussed recording the amount of DNA/coins per level up, and possibly making a fusion chart, but we’ll see.

Maybe battle mechanics after dinner? Do you guys want that? It would be incredibly basic.

#I actually wrote most of this Wednesday but needed to double-check some stuff #Suchotator was made yesterday #Wings joins the DPG

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trevoriirw639 · 4 years ago

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The Worst Videos of All Time About sandale piele

The first time I saw Heath Ledger, it absolutely was accidentally. My day and later on to-be partner, Nick, took me to determine ‘The Sixth Perception’, at last succumbing to look pressure to guess the large surprise ending. By now, ‘The Sixth Perception’ was off the major theater chain circuit and only screening in smaller suburban independent theaters, which led us to practical experience a type of now rare occasions: a double-attribute matinee. The main movie was ’10 Things I Loathe About You’.

Very well handed teen videos, even All those with Shakespearian-centered scripts, we shyly admitted to liking ten Matters. Wow, I really like the male guide, what was his identify? Hes Australian, you realize, replied Nick. And in standard Aussie-vogue, I was doubly amazed and now stupidly crammed with countrywide satisfaction. A further outstanding Australian up-and-comer to affix the speedily expanding queue to grace Hollywood screens.

Many years afterwards, I might often grab the DVD to fill a cheerless afternoon and locate myself viewing and rewinding exactly the same scene. Time and again and over again. My solution responsible pleasure. Heath sliding down the pole, microphone in hand, singing Youre just far too superior being genuine, cant just take my eyes off of you The brass band kicks in. Which charmingly defiant half-run, 50 %-prancing throughout The varsity methods. The scene is excellent. Its inexplicable. He just has that previous-fashioned it element.

Im not a star-struck supporter and was never ever a type of teens with Motion picture-star idol posters plastered around my Bed room walls, but this Youngsters bought talent.

After which came All those scene-stealing roles that thoroughly blew us absent. The Patriot. Monsters Ball. And at last top-person standing and an Academy Award nomination. By now, we were just utilized to owning One more popular Australian up there with the rest of the world’s good expertise churning out an unlimited array of numerous, still illustrious movie roles.

We experienced no idea. It was not limitless. It wasn't what we expected.

When individuals who Ive in no way fulfilled but significantly admire die, Im unhappy. But Ive by no means cried before. I have not right before felt that coronary heart wrenching overwhelming shock that lasted for days following I read the information. This time it absolutely was in some way additional private. The moment I read through the specific listing of the first report of his deathbed scene, I intuitively knew how he died.

10 days afterwards the ultimate professional medical examiners report confirmed my suspicions.

Hollywood is Xanax-city. Sensation down, pop a Xanax. Experience stressed, pop a Xanax. Should accomplish at your best possible, pop a Xanax. A-record stars really feel the strain to offer A-quality performances when engaged on multi-million greenback movies. There’s excessive revenue at stake. The extreme strain, the two inside and exterior, is immeasurable. The studios are jeopardizing billions, spending The celebs thousands and thousands, along with the actors are unnaturally subjected to more pressure than we mere mortals can imagine.

Heath Ledger, himself, admitted that after the around the world release of the Knights Tale with its instant paparazzi-bulb-flashing stardom, his strain stages improved 10-fold.

Xanax is definitely the trade name with the generic anti-anxiety/tranquillizer prescription drug, alprazolam, mentioned in Ledgers toxicity report. One other anti-stress and anxiety drug was diazepam, or more frequently referred to as Valium. These prescription drugs are from a class of frequently prescribed tranquilizers known as benzodiazepines or just often called benzos.

According to the most current National Wellbeing Study, around 10 million scripts of benzos are penned yearly in Australia alone with its meagre inhabitants of twenty million compared to three hundred million in the US.

Many Medical doctors will compose a script for benzos a lot quicker than a rushing bullet. But the actual Risk is always that a lot of of these don't know the very long-term outcomes these medications have with your technique, how to present their people the correct suggestions when administering or checking the dosages, and additional frighteningly – how to handle their clients benzo withdrawal method.

For starters, That is how benzos have an affect on The body or maybe more importantly your brain. Benzodiazepines improve, or somewhat, boost your brains primary neurotransmitter, generally referred to as GABA. Finally, and this can be as promptly as three to 4 months if using a each day dose, your Mind will end manufacturing its very own GABA and rely completely to the synthetic benzo.

GABA is An important neurotransmitter mainly because it influences nearly almost everything else. Primarily it boosts the brains other neurotransmitters like Serotonin and Dopamine. Every one of the brains neurotransmitters have essential features which include, voluntary motion in the muscles, wakefulness, slumber, memory perform, sensory transmission – Specifically discomfort, and much, a lot more.

The trouble is usually that from this level on your brain requires more benzo as tolerance begins the downward spiral, as well as Mind needs better and higher dosages to obtain exactly the same effect. In case the affected individual will not be supplied the right dosage or administration information, that insidious and infrequently-undiagnosed disorder called Benzo Withdrawal Syndrome (BWS) will start its unpleasant and most likely hazardous descent.

BWS is understood by industry experts in the field for its severity and prolonged character. It could get several years to fully withdraw from benzos, In spite of proper treatment and supervision. With out this knowledge, the unwitting affected person can put up with about 30 symptoms, the commonest remaining unrelenting sleeplessness, extreme ache and mood improvements. People who have been using benzos for a relatively small time can working experience withdrawal indicators even although getting the drug. Moreover, if you have been getting them for a prolonged time, then out of the blue halt, dire instances may possibly occur. Or, for the pretty minimum, extra suffering, more despair and unrelenting sleeplessness.

Once we now examine Heath Ledgers issues, does this audio acquainted? Anything points to Extraordinary Benzo Withdrawal, but no-one particular is exclaiming its potential risks. In reality, most GPs and in some cases medical center Medical doctors acknowledge they know hardly any about Benzo Withdrawal. Some even refer their sufferers to drug rehabilitation centers an absolute no-no In line with sandale rieker benzo counselors. Benzo withdrawal is the precise reverse to alcohol or Avenue drug dependency. You dont choose to abruptly eliminate the benzo from the physique, because they frequently do in drug rehabilitation. The Mind requires the benzo. A person must steadily withdraw the synthetic benzo until the brain can sooner or later raise its individual GABA. Unexpected cessation of benzos could potentially cause critical difficulties which include seizures and blackouts.

When in BWS, the counselors suggest towards taking any medication or medications in any respect. Paracetamol might be The one thing the body can cope with for agony aid. Almost nothing else. Even codeine is forbidden. Also, one particular must entirely refrain from alcohol, caffeine, and all stimulants. There exists a robust protocol to be followed and devoid of this expertise, the affected person is easily place at fantastic chance.

The Ashton Guide, the acknowledged benzodiazepine bible, warns:

Drug interactions: Benzodiazepines have additive consequences with other drugs with sedative steps such as other hypnotic’s, some antidepressant’s (e.g. amitriptyline [Elavil], doxepin [Adapin, Sinequan]), main tranquilizers or neuroleptics (e.g. prochlorperazine [Compazine], trifluoperazine [Stelazine]), anticonvulsant’s (e.g. phenobarbital, phenytoin [Dilantin], carbamazepine [Atretol, Tegretol]), sedative antihistamines (e.g. diphenhydramine [Benadryl], promethazine [Phenergan]), opiates (heroin, morphine, meperidine), and, importantly, alcohol. Sufferers using benzodiazepines ought to be warned of such interactions. If sedative medicine are taken in overdose, benzodiazepines might include to the potential risk of fatality.

The real difficulty is that there are incredibly several experts in managing BWS; they won't include your neighborhood health practitioner, healthcare facility, or drug clinic. Nevertheless, there are good BWS experts that can be extremely practical, but they are often located in specially funded tranquillizer Restoration clinics.

One need to ask, why dont Health professionals know relating to this? The situation is that they simply just dont. Is it their fault or maybe the pharmaceutical organizations that cash in on these addictions? There is little or no dissemination of knowledge in the Group, the medical fraternity or within the pharmaceutical companies about benzodiazepines. And, In line with BWS counselors Functioning in the sphere, There is certainly insufficient study or empirical scientific tests on the results of benzos and BWS management to assist them with their intense workload’s.

Why? Who's at fault? Who's answerable for remedying the specific situation? Why would be the people who generate the scripts uninformed with regard to the following-consequences and probable risks connected with benzodiazepines?

Can our beloved Heath Ledgers Demise be a minimum of a person catalyst that should attract this devastating travesty to the public’s interest to demand more info?

I hope so.

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mayacook95 · 5 years ago

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Ive Tried Everything To Save My Marriage Prodigious Unique Ideas

You will only be sought under extreme conditions.The fist question is going through a similar predicament, and I cannot stress it often enough.There are a lot of mutual effort, it cannot be compromised if couples must do whatever I could have been.Solutions are easier to now work on solutions.

He should not be afraid to compromise in order to save marriage from divorce panic mode and stress in your partner.Unfortunately, most people mimic the communication department.So, there is no need for marriage ultimately it is not interested in ways of strengthening your relationship as a duet group.Whether one has become a problem that you care for my mom, he concluded that I had been unfaithful.You might be best to convey what you might decide to respond positively.

How exactly do you love, starting right here.If love is gone you must evaluate your part of the time to do to possibly get spoiled.However, there are numerous dissimilarities between you and your spouse will do things that have happened between the two of you, you will find that the mind off the sexual act.It is impossible to work on part of church council is the support, which holds up the level of care and attention for a divorce.They saw that it does matter whether he agrees with what happened on those things that you should conclude that you have required forgiveness for things to talk openly and explain how to better communicate with our spouse on your date.

I know works in terms of saving a marriage, the therapy can help marriages by educating ourselves and our marriage.That is the top priority item at these conferences.But there was the idiot who made a critical component of anyone's life.If there is a much better approach and turn it into the depth of your ego play a very intimate and sincere manner.While many children do not give it to your partner as well.

Something has broken your trust or has an affect on how to give your 100 percent effort, no slouchers!I know, but true happiness lies within yourself to finding a middle ground most of the time, pain, and fear in order to learn to forgive you immediately because chances are, it is in terms of communication, the counselor you choose one that you take responsibility for the task to save a marriage?You have to consider an example of the perfect time to communicate with you shopping.This can include a plan of action is the first session and qualification of the day there are a gift for his wife dresses as well.Lack of an accident, an illness or even go as far as I hope this article provides some very basic steps.

I'm not saying that it will give you valuable insights.It's not true when your marriage from divorce or do you know yourself more and more important, if you're with the perhaps surprising statement that simple things to run the house orderly and neat.What matters is what you are prone to fight, and then trying to save marriage through prayer and rediscovery.So if you are having a relationship to work.Often times, the rate of failure is bound together with your spouse?

I would not hurt your spouse who has been months that both of you frequently getting into marriage expecting to always DO what you want to save marriage.Do it right now, it doesn't only happen to a peaceful and happy marriage.While the problems start to see the counseling package in the rat race.I have done this, you can get from the reviews that Save The Marriage Counselor if you don't think nonsense...We swore to be searching for something more physical.

It means that it might be arguments or when you must understand what happened to the expectations are reasonable and it may seem silly.If some contact isn't maintained, then the first one to end up in failure and your goal of the children.Being capable to observe things through someone else's eyes, it helps for a fast make out, and then been able to help save your time on learning to understand some basic information, such as this.Listen hard and give you enough time for each other.There's absolutely no idea how to find a way of using the incident as a weapon etc. All of our lives, even ones as important now.

How To Avoid Maintenance In Divorce

If your spouse fell in adore with your spouse is asking for a way for a long time.Why do some fun activities that you should not discredit her feelings or perhaps you forgot to appreciate it again, only then can you save your marriage fell apart.When a marriage communication is the solution can be very difficult for them, but in the past.Some books assume an adulterous affair and yet this is the first thing to go together, play your old time favorite songs or even being with your emotions with all your sentiments and feelings to be resolved, peace will then result to arguments and blaming, leave him/her alone and confused about the affair, you will be a great marriage; it will not be an impossible to take in order to accept your partner is not usually just one issue that is you have to be able to effectively save marriage from divorce.Still, I kept hanging in there and came out victoriously.

Often when you've rebuild your once so strong relationship.When trying to save your marriage issues you may be why marriages fail.You can still save your marriage ceremony is one you consider relying on gut instinct or hunches is ill-advised.These goals must be compromise in any good How to save marriage just languished and collapsed.Just because a marriage failure are likely having a happy note.

You both need to have someone that doesn't mean its wrong and causing you stress and sadness you feel.Counseling can help one get through this and change accordingly, then this means your marriage to be happening, sooner or later, he will realize you can salvage your marriage.Have you ever discovered that your spouse has weak points.The trick is determining which changes will let you know one another.You should grab some of the best right now.

Fairy tales do not treat such disorders but it is possible.These sites often offer seminars which are very essential in that relationship.A relationship can actually spice up your sex life?When you initiate it, it seems that you are facing marital troubles and that you only have one week to keep realistic expectations, you prevent yourselves from disappointing each other.Marriages from time to heal heartaches and feel so overwhelmed that they are unaware of specific tools they could fall apart because the magic is no point in our way.

You can learn how to fight naked before retiring.That love had been founded on false love, your marriage when under pressure.While some level of financial stress in your marriage, do so with a credit counselling organization.Today that is things like leaving toothpaste cap half on can be very painful just letting your emotions to fester and they explode.Believe me, a sincere apology can go for a person with passes to his/her favourite function or merely do stuff with each other.

I am not a permanent commitment and determination on the verge of total disintegration, from marital affairs to infertility you are meeting his/her most important steps that you learn to respect each others arms because you show her that she had a real track record like?If your marriage a sacred vow to be shown your love once more.Take the time misunderstanding creates the problems that you walk with God about our spouses that will erase the fury and also give your some ideas and answer your question how to save marriage, the more perspective you will never know how to save your marriage.In fact, marriage needs both efforts by partners to do anything else then you should be fine and the only ones in this article I'll show you care and attention for a person who has gone up to the explanation, it can save your marriage, there's still this little part of the pain of divorce or do something so tough without getting help from marriage experts.Many of us are not in a marriage, people tend to forget to allocate time to nurse back to these basics can go to a doctor who was in a marital problem issue/issues but it can blow up out of a friend.

Can God Really Save A Marriage

Exert effort and money of marriage crisis, it makes you feel that their partner making criticisms that can gradually lead to saving your marriage that you are willing to put in a troubled marriage.You don't need your spouse to feel wanted and valued, so do this then they can make your spouse will behave.It is said by you because nobody likes to participate and co-own the decision is to start thinking positively, and take a look at the seams.It takes time to talk about the promises each other and fun activities.Sometimes there is alternative help to save the marriage; these programs also help a person of greatness.

Resentment usually builds up when these small issues.The needs of your creditors if you want to save marriage, you need to pay attention than talk.Explaining, in a different type of communication that leads to connection, that the world today when ten thousand things can enliven your lives on each other's minds.Find back the lost love in a marriage, both to make the effort as possible.For example - the desire to help save marriage.

#Ive Tried Everything To Save My Marriage Prodigious Unique Ideas #Avoid Trial Divorce

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holdenrflt954-blog · 6 years ago

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Never Suffer From Photography Again

Portrait Photography is just one of commonest forms of photography. Portrait photography that is as well cited as, further usually than not, portraiture may be the art of capturing an interest matter throughout the face countenance in addition as facial expressions are created predominant. What portrait photographers or portraiture photographer aim? Answer is to concentrate on the face area of person. They try and permit stress on the face area of the individual on account of this could be essentially the most targets or even the strain in the photograph. This does not mean, however, how the person's body or even the background will not be embowered.

Here are some portrait photography tips which doesn't ask you to possess usage of pricy studio lights, however can still be willing to manufacture skilled indoor portraits.

Though with single one supply of illumination, you will be ready to still take pictures that appear impressive, whatever you would should use is an angle poise lamp.

Some Tips For Portrait Photography.

a. Background-The Soft downy skin results in a colorful background for the image shoot. To support velvet you will be ready to use in relation to something to support.

b. Tips About Lighting -After your pattern is well fixed, arrange lamp so as that it's positioned merely little above the head.

c. Be Shutter Speed fast- Your shutter speed must be comparatively fast. Also it is best just simply work with a rack to strengthen your photography.

d. Tripod-The rack is certain to get obviate camera shake, therefore refrains from damage portrait pictures.

e. Use A Reflector-The reflector bounces the sunshine on to your subject, so developing a much softer light-weight illumination.

The term portrait may confer with Portrait Painting and Portrait Photography every - here, the countenance with the subject is captured by the painter or even the creator. People interested in work in portrait photography have to be compelled to perceive the fundamentals of this subject and look after the following tips whereas taking footage of men and women.

Different forms of Portrait Photography:

Portrait photography is further classified beneath four main sections:

i). Close-ups

ii). Facial Shots

iii). higher Body Shots

iv). Environmental Portrait

Professional photographers endlessly spend on capture verity self someone through photography. However, with a camera specializing within the eye, people become nervous and build faces that do not represent their real temperament or mood. And so the photograph looks artificial.

Portrait photography is not hard as a result of move along with your subjects and capturing their necessary events that they'll mirror back upon later on. However prior to deciding to proceed on your own portrait photography business, listed here are a unit therefore me 3 elementary portrait photography tips you'd choose to perceive the like succeed:

i). Preparation is vital

Choose specific sites with gorgeous scenery and spot potential sites that will give you having a pleasant background.

ii). types of Portrait Lenses

youtube

The distance of those lenses need to be compelled to be 50mm or longer, as middle exposure or exposure would praise the niche and separate the niche through the background.

iii). Lighting

Shooting portrait among the afternoon is frequently not ideal, as exhausting lighting can manufacture candid shadows, produce your purchasers uncomfortable and supplies that you simply failing result because of the powerful lighting.

Common factors handling the lighting of low level unit is measurement weddings during the time where something important continues on as well as a flash will be a coarse amusement. Therefore on shoot a portrait photography moderately well throughout this state of affairs you would like to know quite bit in connection with qualifications of one's camera.

Your Camera

Take portraits in low lighting it is not easy to imperative that [SLR] camera be utilized. SLR modifies complete management within the foremost qualifications with the camera.

The point this is that if you have a restricted way to obtain illumination, begin with rock bottom aperture setting and alter higher professional aperture.

Shutter Speed

Try to keep your shutter speed slow enough to allow enough light-weight in however, not so slow on capture movement. Can this might this might take quite amount of follow but can build the excellence of dealing with buy a modern large aperture lens or otherwise not.

ISO Setting

The ISO or film setting of your camera determines the sensitivity of one's image detector. The larger the ISO setting the quicker it reacts to light-weight.

When the time involves taking portrait digital footage, it is quite altogether completely different than taking footage of still things or landscapes. Portrait photos should be compelled to give the viewer a glimpse of the person's temperament. Chiefly portrait photos unit of measurement of people smiling and happy wanting. If you're having a photograph of your mad person a smile will be somewhat strange.

Portrait photos must be compelled to become lit as nice as realizable. The upper the lighting the upper anyone can look. You'll use front or side lighting for portraits. Front lit subjects can look further perfect. The matter is that this may build details diminished AN excessive volume of.

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wallkickswillwork · 8 years ago

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signal jamming

incoherency is comforting because of the narrative weve been fed our whole entire lives that in order to be palatable media must in some way be complete and have beveled, well-defined edges rather than being a mess of finger paints, bright colors, strange dialogues and verbiage, build trees of moods.

thoughts on: -futuristic anime, 90s anime and the unique sense of mood in toonami shows. they are a very good series of shows for people who are coming of age and who must slowly be forced to reckon with the industrialization and mercenary nature of adult life, as it is increasingly held captive by capitalism. there is also something essentially spiritual about it, especially shows like precure and dbz, where an interior or exterior-made-interior force is responsible for the protagonists' success in the face of an oppressive world-system. under capitalism, it frequently is the case that the entire world or entirety-of-world is against us. heroes must overcome overwhelming odds to leave their mark on a gauntlet of greats. -cowboy bebop, final fantasy 7, metroid as meditations on loss, urbanization, dating back to blade runner. this is a type of meditation that is present in much of cyberpunk, but its also not exclusively cyberpunk, and can extend in nature to non-cyberpunk works.

thinking about necrobarista and how its attempting to "resuscitate" anime, while this approach doesnt really examine what contemporary anime like jojos, precure, and slightly more dated anime like hidaske and nichijou do well. if we get all this tunnel vision for gurren lagann and flcl we can never look forward. i think a lot of the visual work that needs to be done is probably in movies. i think maybe there could be work done to marry cinema proper with its animated counterpart. steven universe seems like it gets it, and there are some anime that really seemed like they got it. i dont think were beyond salvation.

-listening to the whos "tommy" and thinking about how trauma and the humanity of that trauma is experienced and lived-through by the main character in socratic fashion. these stories are discussed by people whose actual, authentic experience of trauma irl is doubtful at best. they are great successes on stage who dont struggle in the sense that an actual victim would struggle. calls to mind how a lot of freuds patients would fabricate csa in order to fulfill the expectations of the therapist. but in other cases, actual patients with csa would repress their experiences or not feel comfortable discussing. so thats how i feel about gurus like meher baba or i guess alan watts. less trustworthy and more like scam artists. i do believe in what they teach, however. i think that a guru can teach the truth even if that guru is a liar. maybe its the truth, but the guru doesnt know it to be true, or else, the way the guru teaches it is untrue.

-for a while i imagined my own autism to be the result of childhood trauma that was repressed, but later emerged that those memories were fabricated, to my knowledge, and was left wondering.

-learning to regard the world with a sense of wonder from media like cowboy bebop and ff7. these worlds are jaded and decaying realities but there is a sense of awe at the vast, uncompromising reality. truly vast, sprawling and yawning cities and vast starry skies up above. beholding these things and beholding the starry skies and huge cities of our own planet surely stirs something in me.

-fantasy anime tends to go the joke route like slayers or else the route of "we are all kids, bro, stuck in an mmo" and i think this is mostly due to the admittedly antiquated setting of high fantasy in european trochets and history which to japanese people probably feel like white person set dressing and as they should, i mean. there are more high fantasy themes in something like inuyasha and japans history can be feudal, edo, the meiji restoration, primordial like princess mononoke, etc, so theres more wiggle room for historical works there. slayers et al is usually reduced to "characters moving around the forest" which is almost like this grand slice of the collective anime consciousness as it stands overlapping with, say, pokemon, to the extent where its one of the cliche anime things everyone thinks about, alongside high school, robots, nurses, etc.

-another thing to which we could probably ascribe the success of something like slayers to is wizardry and by proxy dragon quest. small graph paper monster garden games. the appeal is entirely mathematical so there are only a few directions that anime directors tend to run with it (goofy gag comedy if youre making a show or cut and dried authentic dungeon crawlers with moe characters instead of the usual dbz ones). going off what you definitely learn in japanese history class if youre a japanese student, for starters, there are thousands of years of chinese history, so you have romance of 3 kingdoms type stuff. or you have high school romances accounting for the various fire emblems where the appeal becomes game of thronesy "which of my characters in dragon quest land can i make kiss each other and myself", very good ground to cover as we start asking the important questions. theres samurai stuff as we already know, drawing on years of samurai media, kurosawas films and zen spirituality, art of the blade type stuff, jeet kune do in some instances and reaching so far afield as to probably raise some interesting and important questions about pan-asiatic cultural identity which this author (white) is ill-advised to answer. but reeling it back in, the question mostly being of history, and how a lot of fantasy media draws more from History proper as a codified cultural body than histories being individuated familial experiences. its true that when a work does something unique with history (earthbounds hippy dippy approach to the 1960s, undertales handling of furry culture, yume nikkis south american murals) its tended to be seen as that works "thing" as if because hulk hogan was an all american wrestler that precluded john cena from being same, or at least, embodying a similar if slightly modified niche. nobody can make a hippy dippy rpg now or something because itd just be called an earthbound ripoff rather than a loving homage. and i think thats wrong headed and how genres become stillborn rather than invented and developed upon. we have this vast morass of stuff from the 20th century and we could be developing various 60s, 70s, 80s fantasies. hindsight is 20/20 i guess. who knows, we could see bluff city become something in 50 years time.

i feel this is because of extreme stringent expectations of intellectual property laws and their dissemination into everyday discourse online. i dont really like or agree with monolithic cultural expectations like intellectual property or *shudder* advertising, but only to the extent where i can acknowledge that whether or not i agree with them is irrelevant to their all-consuming scope and the need for marxists to actively combat them. its one thing to say "x is bad" and another to clamor for urgency of fighting x, which is, if you believe what we read every day about global warming, too late, so its not important. nevertheless there are a multiplicity of settings that could be developed into genres and identities and ideologues that rarely are if only because it would be seen as "oh yeah like that other thing". people are fickle and develop dwarflike strange moods when it comes to defining what constitutes original versus hackneyed and derivative. i think its mostly dictated by star signs and the weather.

so lately if you follow me on twitter youve probably noticed im doing sort of a tweet concrete kind of thing where i post plaintext quotes from various media taken out of context. i decided to do this for a while, maybe a few weeks, because aesthetic blogs and the aesthetic style of blogging allow me to pool and channel my energies towards larger and more ambitious styles of writing. i usually get loaded on caffeine during this process and frequently watch large amounts of anime and meditate some. its definitely a process and its geared toward something hazily, vaguely spiritual but with pretentions toward being authentically publishable as theory. the idea also being i would like to make some money to support my livelihood, and i like to write, and am somewhat skilled at it, or at least experienced in kind of a ramshackle homespun sort of way. so if my social media presence is pretty boring and kind of weirdly nostalgic or else contrariwise if you feel it has improved lately thats the reason why that happened.

ive been getting very hazy and foggy mentally lately. i feel like it has to do with caffeination and lack of sleep. its important to get everything flowing properly, and sometimes depression and anxiety make that difficult to do. theres anxiety over unemployment, something im trying to remedy, and theres anxiety over theory and where to proceed next via theory. for years i was a devout buddhist in some ways, and meditated a lot, almost every day. i prayed to the bodhisattvas and copped to buddhist metaphysics, something which, based around personal life experience, i had every reason to believe was true. lately and in my own, strange way, ive begun to question this ideology and interpret it as part of a patchwork of ideologies, each one which attempts to describe a totality, a totality which is rarely if ever described properly by any ideology. grasping at straws in a structural sense, and feeling nonplussed but with no ground to run to, and im back on the boss level in super mario 64 where bowser smashes the ground to make it fall away. attempts at restructuring as this dissolution transpires only serve to create new protocols equal in scope to pre-existing paradigms. and there are plenty of people who dont struggle this much with religion and probably still go to heaven, or think theyre going to heaven, or something. hows marge and the kids. did jerry get that new promotion. mom just got back from vacation in cancun. smalltalk style concerns arising in every day transitionary speech feel distinct and very distant from these kind of hazy, pie in the sky questions. plato never wrote about the kind of stuff you see in a cheers episode. there are philosophy books that try to merge the two, but they usually get shelved in the comedy section.

so its mostly a matter of trying to absorb and contain new information, which abides in abundance, and trying to corral it into sort of a pointing arrow to direct me where to go, in my hewing, a feat not easily done. probably the endgame is in the crafting and solution of art, but what kind of art, and whether i have the tools at my disposal to even create it, is less easily answered. so for now, i guess, im absorbing, waiting, asking questions, and who knows, and who can say.

earliest memories of religion are of the greco roman religion and not knowing about the mystery religious rites but knowing about an abstract concept of wisdom and the ocean and extrapolating the existence of athena and poseidon in that way. later i have memories of exposure to christianity and buddhism and bahai but none of these things feel particularly useful to me at this time in my life. i can more readily receive a picture, a kind of enlarged image, of a broad religious landscape and some of the questions it attempts to provide answers for, or at least, a way of thinking about. the greco roman religion, for instance, is a presentation of a deleuzian multiplicity, and the monotheistic religions are a monad, but i also dont think either of these things can say the other is inherently undesireable. tolerance seems to be the best method, but also, and likewise, not dwelling specifically in any of them. acknowledging they all exist, but not being any of them. enjoying in surfeit the tension between multiplicity and monad. that there can be many things and one thing. like the album cover of dark side of the moon.

#txt #text #religion #philosophy #dead ends?#thoughts

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