#ive never seen anyone say this. ive literally only seen people complain that they feel like they need to spend money when they dont

[sonknuxadow]

the way people are always denying that sonic and tails are brothers whenever one or both of them appears in a sibling related poll is so sad. you hate little guys ? you hate family born of love and not genetics ? you hate youre my mom and dad and picket fence ?

[alchemiclee]

when people complain about games like genshin and star rail trying to push you to spend money, I laugh because that's just them being bad at self control if they give in and feel the need to spend. you can play completely free and be absolutely fine. I was f2p on genshin for 2 years before I got the welkin to help while streaming on twitch to get a few more pulls to do at the end of my streams for entertainment. before that, I got every single character I wanted and a few weapons f2p (just from simply playing the game!) even with horrible luck (my average pity was 78-80 per 5 star. i think only 2 so far in my whole genshin career were under 75. and a handful of loses as well) so don't complain if you can't resist the urge. that's on you. they don't force you to spend. if you play the game normally and aren't trying to get every single character/weapon, then you don't need to spend.

but ALSO. the reason you can even play the games for free and we get such great high-quality content is BECAUSE PEOPLE PUT MONEY INTO IT. if no one did, you'd have to pay like idk, $80 or whatever games cost these days to buy, PLUS probably pay for every update like it's a DLC, so another, i don't know, $20 every couple months? or have to subscribe monthly to play. the fact that you get it all for free is because other people pay for stuff. so stop complaining about things costing real money and the fact that other people even pay for it, and start thanking the people who put money into it so you others who can't afford it don't have to!

[joculatrixster]

"ill admit i dont watch sos nor raft streams but im calling out ppl who r calling scott specifically abusive and ive literally never seen anyone as vilinized as scott in fics i can think off the top of my head 3 fics ive seen where scott is the vilian and portrayed as jimmys abuser which is NOT true for anyone u mentioned." You can't say Scott is the only one villainized in the same breath as admitting you haven't seen content where other CCs get villainized by the audience.

Many of the *exact same people* who criticize Scott have also come out with posts talking about how uncomfortable Sausage makes them, some of them specifically citing his behavior toward Jimmy in SOS. Of course, I can't say that's true for everyone in fandom who criticizes Scott, but in my experience people critical of Scott are critical of others, too, regardless of their sexuality. Saying the criticism is fueled by homophobia doesn't track when the people criticizing Scott are also criticizing straight CCs/characters for very similar things.

Everyone has a different fandom experience based on what circles/fan archives/discussion boards they're on, and even on the same site people can have different experiences because of stuff like algorithms and who you're following. IIRC I have seen a fic where Grian, Jimmy, Joel and Lizzie were all siblings and Lizzie called out Grian and Joel for not being good brothers to Jimmy, while the only fic I've seen with Scott being "villainized" was a short ficlet where he did something small out of jealousy that didn't have any long term effects. I have actually gone *looking* for toxic FH fanfic and not found any. (I like complicated messy relationship story lines, so I feel like toxic FH in fic form would be fun to read.) Obviously this has not been your experience, but you seem to be treating your fandom experience as if it's the same for everyone else, which it's not.

its nnot just my experience when multiple multiple ppl have spoken out about how prominent it is specifically for scott again if its just a small issue id understand but the normalization is insane, ive seen a fic where scott turns jimmy into his pet doll and he needs to be saved from his clutches. ive read a gic where scott kills pearl and wants to destroy the entire world and has jimmy as his pet who he promised to keep as long as he stayed uner his thumb. ive read a fic where scott just leaves jimmy at the alter and pearl hunts him down and lashes out violently at him and we r meant to side w pearl for attacking him bc he didnt feel bad for poor jimmy. these were not obscure fics or small fics. u seem to assume an issue others r clearly pointing out theyve seen way more than others is only something some fridnge guy is complaining about instead of perhaps something UVE missed hm? uve seen 1 fic where joel and grian r kinda shitty to jimmy and get called out ive read multiple fics where scott breaks down jimmy as a person and needs to be saved from him, ive seen multiple posts calling irl scott smajor am abuser bc of one clip, ive seen pll say jimmy deadass is uncomfortable w FH and doesnt like scott which is just weird ass behavior. yes sausage gets flack i belive this but i haven't seen a shit ton of fics making sausage break jimmy soan mentally then get killed or punished in the end for being an irredeemable abuser. ive seen multiple of that for scott or just seeing scott in general in a veryyy negative light which is clearly due to an unfavorable interpretation of his character. which is fine, but name three fics where grian is intpreted that unfavorably w over 100 kueos. no seriously show me the fics where grian dies in the 3nd and its a thing everyone is happy about in the ficand they do not mourn him at all bc they hated him. go on!

its funny how ur orignal anon nitpicked my post and ur reply again nitpicks one part of a wider post as if the point i said was even what ur replyin to, im talking fandom space but even if i wasnt im talking life series fandom while i do mention oli thats just to ponnt out that One scott clip is not Just a scott thing, girl. vilinized in life series aka what i tagged, dont be stupid here its literally just making u look stupid 😭i used grian as an example bc hes someone who acts similar in the space i was criticizing and not sausage bc i am aware things may be different in a DIFFERENT context. ur majorlyyyy derialing and not rlly proving me wrong ur just proving that u dont rlly get what im saying which is fine but also all ur points r just...not disproving anything l. ur example is 1 grian and joel being criticized in one(1) fic(which is not what vilianized even means dude but hey ill give u this u did find one somewhat grian neg fic!) and 2 a guy not even in the fandom i tagged. girl...

[silvyslayer42]

(not doing this via reblog bc the op wasn’t looking for a debate and i respect that, plus this isn’t about this specific post, it’s about a general way of acting in the fandom)

but anyways: (cw: opinions under the cut)

for something to be “heavily implied” it necessitates intent. there was no author intent to make him aroace (you can read into certain lines however you want, that doesn’t make it proper evidence. there is much more to be said in the way of terusai being implied than aroace saiki if the claim I’ve seen floating around of her being based off of the author’s wife is true, but i digress), so therefore aroace saiki is not implied (neither is trans saiki or whatever the hell else but aroace saiki is the big one). it honestly feels so arrogant and offputting whenever someone says that because it is just not true.

and another thing “aromantism isn’t celebrated enough by fandom” what? do you want us all to throw a party and weep for joy because now an entire avenue of fandom experience with a beloved character is apparently closed forever? i understand where you’re coming from, i really do, but 1) saiki is not canon representation, he is a character that aroace people identify with in terms of traits and moments, and while that is jolly and good and a thing everyone does when there’s no representation, it’s not remotely the same thing, and 2) that makes you sound so incredibly whiny (ooh here comes the namecalling, sorry op i come off as super agressive in this part, that’s just how i sound, nothing against you you’re probably fine) I’ve literally never fucking seen anyone complain about aroace saiki except for myself, and im complaining about anyoying ass people who purposefully reply to ship posts to be dicks about how shipping the character who is not canonically shit is taking away their fucking representation. in fact ive literally only see people making posts like this complaining about how not everyone is them.

everyday it’s such a struggle to be in this fandom, look up terusai, and see 10% actual ship posts, 70% “terusai sucks because *one of the same three reasons again*” and 20% qpr which is FINE but i’m NOT LOOKING FOR THAT, STOP USING THE SHIP NAME ON YOUR “🚫not a ship post🚫”. i could look up aroace saiki and see 50 trillion posts of content. like ughghhh shut up !! but also i don’t care !! but also i fully understand on an emotional level and kinda agree !! but also no !! but also shut up !!

this is getting ranty and mean so im ending it now. goodbye forever evil post

[eulangelo]

callout for @genderfluidlucifer

google docs

tw for transmisogyny + TERFs + emotional manipulation

Transmisogyny

Lucifer is a huge transmisogynist who will complain 24/7 about how TERFs hurt the ace community, but the moment @randomclustermissile , a trans girl (who is not an exclusionist at all) tries to point out transmisogyny in inclusionist circles (in the most vague and general way possible, without pointing fingers nor calling anyone names) Lucifer will immediatly jump to block her and so they did with me (another inclusionist) and i have to suppose to everyone else who agreed with that post, even arriving to vagueing about us in private group chats to suggest that we were “sympathizing with exclusionists”. all because we dared point out transmisogyny in inclusionist circles. lucifer is TME but apparently they think they’re the authority on TERFs and their talking points but actual trans women are not, according to them, since this is the stuff that they would go and spew to other people. (screenshots from @enbyoctoling​)

here’s more examples of Lucifer (again, a transmasc person) going deep in detail about how according to them, TERFs/SWERFs hate aro/ace people and are an active threat to us

1. link

[Image ID: Three screenshots of a post by Genderfluidlucifer. The first screenshot is of a paragraph that reads, "Hey. So I can actually answer this. Anon your commentary about how you thought terfs would approve of sex repulsed aces is sort of it. Except...not. Basically terfs hate ace people for not wanting sex in the approved by terfs way. Terfs are actually extremely interested in [forcing] amatonormativity onto everyone. Because for as sex negative as terfs are...they don't want to actually acknowledge or change the fact that amatonormativity is at the root cause of rape culture and misogyny."

The second screenshot is a zoomed in section of the post that reads, "So yeah no I have NO idea where exclus allies are getting this idea from that terfs would even remotely care about the sexual rights of ace people. Terfs generally hate any sexualities in the LGBTQ+ acronym that aren't LGB because they can't force a gender binary onto those sexualities. At least, not as easily. That's why it's actually a massive sign of someone who doesn't call themselves a terf being a crypto terf if they use the term LGB in a positive manner. Along with the term SGA, as it is deliberately exclusive of nonbinary and not inherently SGA centric queer-aligned sexualities. /END ID]

link to the full post, these are just excerpts but the whole thing is just a very long rant about how TERFs hate ace people and so on (i think it’s worth noticing that although the actual post is kinda long, trans women are never once brought op in a conversation about TERFs issues and the only time transmisogyny is mentioned is not relevant to the conversation)

2. link

[Image ID: A screenshot of a reblog by genderfluidlucifer. The original poster is nothorses. It reads, "Because apparently I have to say it: Testosterone is not a 'violent' hormone. It doesn't make you 'more aggressive' or a worse person, it doesn't make you 'dangerous,' or 'toxic.' Transmascs do not need to be 'warned of the dangers of T.' We do not need to spend our transitions terrified that we're going to become a danger to those around us - that HRT is going to turn us into a monster.

Everyone experiences mood swings during hormonal shifts (pregnancy, menstruation, menopause, estrogen HRT, etc.) and while you might have grumpy moments or feel anger/frustration that you need to learn to handle differently, that doesn't make you a bad person.

Testosterone can change the way you access/process emotions somewhat, but if you're already thoughtful about how you handle your feelings and treat others, you're going to be fine. It's normal to lash out on occasion, by accident, then apologize and work to do better. It doesn't make you a bad person. Everyone on HRT is prone to this, and everyone experiencing hormonal changes is prone to this.

Getting HRT should be positive and affirming; you should not have to spend your entire transition terrified of becoming a monster."

The post then has a reblog by captainlordauditor that reads, "The big danger of T is that needle ouchy." /END ID]

here’s them reblogging from known transmisogynist user @nothorses (once again, the irony that a post about how testosterone is seen as the "aggressive hormone" does not mention transfem at all which are literally the main victims of this rethoric in the first place)

3. link (1), link (2)

[Image ID: Two screenshots of posts by genderfluidlucifer. The first screenshot reads, "Queer exclus: We're not repackaging terf rhetoric! Saying that is transmisogynistic! Also queer exclus: Remove the plus from LGBT!" and has tags that say, "I will pay these people to grow some god damn self awareness. Imagine being this dense. Queer discourse." The post has 15 notes.

The second screenshot reads, "Honestly it is so stupid and frustrating to see ace exclus continue to deny that the ace discourse was started by terfs. Proof was given countless times. And a big name terf like galesofnovember even admitted to starting it. Those of you who demand proof but ignore all of this never wanted proof to begin with." and is tagged with, "ace discourse. The post has 38 notes. /END ID]

heres another two post of theirs conflating TERFs with ace exclusionism

4. link

[Image ID: A screenshot of a reblogged post by furbearingbrick. The original poster is boxlizard, Lucifer's old account. The original post reads, "By the way for people still in denial about it, here's galesofnovember, a terf, admitting that she intended to start the ace exclus movement. She's taking credit for it. Normally if the victims of this behavior weren't ace/aro or other queer identities y'all be ready to rightfully lynch her. But since it's us, y'all just still wanna stamp your feet and go, 'Nuh uh!' instead of acknowledging facts." The part that says, "admitting that she intended to start the ace exclus movement" is a link to a galesofnovember post.

There is then a reblogged addition from furbearing brick that reads, "archived versions of the receipts" and has two links to the webarchive. The tags read, "Bringing this back since it's apparently still relevant. Terfism mention. Aphobia mention. Queerphobia mention. Blocklist." and has 1,455 notes. /END ID]

this is their post that ive already talked about but basically they found a 52 notes post made by a TERF in 2012 and this one person said "i dont know why i dont get to be the princess of the anti-ace-brigade" and apparently they are convinced that this means TERFs started the ace exclusionism movement and that this is one of their goals. which is insane when TERFs in real life only care about making life miserable for transfem people first and foremost.

5.link

[Image ID: A screenshot of a reblog by genderfluidlucifer. The original poster is yu-gay-fudo. It reads, “Just in case you happen to be unaware, some of the “radfem lite” they post to warm you up to their rhetoric, just off the top of my head:

- Ace/aro exclusionism

- Bi exclusionism or claims that bi people are “less queer” bc of “straight passive privilege”

- Saying you have to be dysphoric to identify as transInvalidating nonbinary people

- Calling queer a slur regardless of context, saying people can’t identify as queer, and saying that it can’t be reclaimed

- “Mogai hell”, “kweer”, or otherwise mocking less common labels and claiming they are “just cishets who want to feel special”

- Excluding sex workers from feminist discussions or claiming that sex work is inherently evil

- Basically anyone who thinks they can determine what other people identify as”. The tags read, "queerphobia tw. twerfs tw. no id." and has 70,727 notes. It was reblogged on March 22nd, 2021 /END ID]

another example of conflating radfems to things that, while wrong, have little to nothing to do with them because being a radfem, again, is something very specific that has all to do with transfem oppression.

Emotional manipulation

Lucifer has done nothing but block, break boundaries, spread lies and vague about people, some of which were even mutuals with them knowing they would see the posts. when confronted about it Lucifer's only answer was "just say you hate me and block me" but they actually ended up blocking everyone first, making it impossible for anyone to set some boundaries with them or even just to calmly confront them about anything.

[proof: Io(popncourse) and Lucifer had a disagreement in a shared discord server, which prompted Lucifer to vague Io in a vent post. Io confronted them, as being vagued is one of buns triggers, to which Lucifer initially agreed to delete the vent post, but then proceeded to victimize themself and immediatly blocked Io. later on, Jude(malewifedeckard) was confronted by Lucifer, then after Jude told them “I’m worried that you’ll vague me just like you did with Io” they proceeded to block Jude and vagued about him too. when Io made a post (which was not a callout, it was just bun setting buns boundaries) explaining what Lucifer did, Lucifer immediatly jumped to victimize themself, acting like they were being called out and straight-up lying, even going so far as to say that no one tried to hear them out, which is a blatant lie if you consider the aforementioned Io and Jude’s attempts at doing so, with Lucifer immediatly blocking and cutting ties with the both of them. ] 

(screenshots taken by @popncourse and @malewifedeckard)

as seen in the proof above Lucifer’s behaviour is not ok because they don’t accept any kind of confrontation and immediatly jump to blocking, and after blocking, they'd immediatly go and vague about the people who confronted them pacificly, spreading more lies and painting themself as the victim and even arriving to say “no one hears me out at all” which is simply not something you can say when you block people who are trying to hear you out in the first place.

this is by no means an invitation to go and harass them, send them hate or anything like that. i absolutely don’t want anything even remotely hateful or negative to be sent their way after this post. 

this post was only made because:

1. as an ace person who fully supports the inclusion of aspec identities in the lgbt+ community i don’t want to support an enviroment that costantly downplays transmisogynistic oppression in order to be taken seriously. there are hundreds of ways to make aspec activism without acting like we(as in TME aspecs)are the victims of a system that seeks for the annihilation of transfemenine people in real life everyday. i especially don’t want to support TME individuals who act transfem-friendly but then block any transfem who tries to speak on transmisogyny without a second thought.

2. Lucifer’s behaviour has hurt two friends of mine and i don’t want to associate with someone who actively breaks people’s boundaries without taking accountability when messing up.

3. i cannot associate with someone who spreads lies about me accusing me of sympathizing with exclusionists all while having me blocked so that i can’t see it nor defend me. they complain about people not hearing them out but they’re the very first person who does not try to hear people out, and instead jumps to spread baseless rumors. this is not someone i can nor want to associate with. 

(image descriptions provided by @malewifedeckard)

[belphies-cuhm-sluht]

looks left and right whispers the om brothers except they're vampires, i need hcs ive seen a lack of vampires and its just hfsdkjhf

Brothers As Vampires (Headcanons)

Lucifer

The hottest vampire and he knows it. He’s also that one vampire that everyone assumes is a vampire but only because he never leaves the house and he just… looks like he’d be a vampire???

Takes pride in the fact that everyone assumes it but isn’t 100% sure. He’s good at hiding it, and that’s what’s important to him. He’d hate for anyone to find out, do you know how much harder that would make his life?

He still has to eat though…

Y’all ever seen uh… Fright Night? From the 80’s? He’s like, Jerry Dandrige type vampire, and he goes out and it’s kind of like a buffet because he knows he can get whoever he wants to come home with him because he is the hottest vampire and he can drink all the blood he wants. He’s killing it, figuratively and literally.

Mammon

He’s hot, but he’s not very smart. He goes into the sun because he “forgot” that it would hurt him. Eats garlic because it tastes good but then complains that his stomach hurts for the rest of the night. He’s one of those vampires… generally entertaining.

Very greedy with his “food” though. Any human that he brings back to the house is his human, and he’s not sharing with anyone. Feeding time is the only time he becomes serious when being a vampire.

Not good at hiding it at all though…

He will literally go up to people on the street and be like “lemme bite you. Lemme bite you pleeeease.” But people think he’s joking or really bad at flirting, so they go home with him anyway. It’s kind of become his thing. If he acts dumb enough, people will think he’s cute and he still gets to eat.

Leviathan

Nosferatu type creepy, but cute. He usually keeps himself locked up in his room, feeling like he’s “lesser than” his vampire brothers, even though he’s not.

Usually he’ll creep around the hallways of the house at night which creeps his brothers out even though it’s normal for vampires to be awake at night… He just doesn’t say anything and it makes them a little uncomfortable.

Very jealous of his older brothers…

They’re able to get food so easily, and he just comes off as awkward or strange. There’s always one “lucky” person who falls for his nervously charming demeanor and he gets to take them home. He usually feels bad about it after he’s done feeding though, that person was kind enough to go home with him even when he’s the way that he is.

Satan

Dracula type, but instead of the bad slicked back hairstyle it’s bad fashion. Spends his eternity of time as a vampire researching different blood types and what their effects on vampires are.

He’s also the type that learned that not going out for food every single night won’t actually kill him, and he won’t start getting really hungry for at least a week. He has specified “feeding” days, and then eats regular food the rest of the week.

He’s very good at finding food though….

He never brings people back to the house, and he never tells his brothers where he goes to find his meals. He goes to the library, it’s easier to watch people and get them alone between the bookshelves, and it’s easier to slip away unseen. He feels no remorse either, he can’t help the way he is, it’s what he needs to do to survive. Surely the people would understand.

Asmodeus

He’s like the Twilight vampires. With the sparkles and stuff… but actually cool. He’s gorgeous, of course he is, and he knows that he is.

Cleanest eater of all time. He wears his best clothes when he “goes out to eat”, and he never has a single drop of blood on his shirt or his pants, or a single hair out of place. It’s no doubt that he’s eating though because he hasn’t gone feral yet, it’s just confusing how he’s so neat.

He’s actually got a list of people waiting to come over to “see him”...

And he usually brags to his brothers about his menu, and how all of them look so delicious. He’s eating well, and he’ll never go hungry because he’s always got people lined up. He does feel just a little bad, so he’ll make sure their last moments are “enjoyable” before he drains them, and then he doesn’t feel like such a bad guy when he’s done.

Beelzebub

The only vampire who has a heart and soul. Even as a vampire he doesn’t actually want to hurt people, which is why it’s so hard for him.

He’s always hungry which makes it even harder to try to be good. He’s tried to go without eating before, but ended up breaking down the door and going after the first person he saw. He’s drank from more people than all of his brothers combined, and he feels awful about it.

The type to say sorry right before biting someone….

He really is sorry, he doesn’t like having to do it, but he’s just so hungry. He usually goes home and talks to Belphie about how bad he feels when he’s done, but the conversation doesn’t last more than an hour before he’s going back out to find his next meal. He never brings them back to the house though, he thinks that it would be rude of him to give someone false hope and then kill them. He cares.

Belphegor

“I’m a vampire” aesthetic, but it’s not an aesthetic. Sleeps all day, not to avoid the sun, but he’s genuinely exhausted. “Coffins are for losers, just get thicker curtains” type of guy.

Hates being hungry because that means he has to actually deal with people. Doesn’t like the idea of bringing people back to the house either because he’d get his sheets dirty and then he’d have to wash them and it’s a hassle that he doesn’t want to put up with.

Tells Beel to bring him back a “snack pack” so he doesn’t have to leave his room….

Snack packs are easier, and he doesn’t have to leave his room to get one. It’s just a little cup that he can drink before he goes back to bed. It’s convenient, and it fills his stomach enough to go back to sleep for the rest of the day. Plus he doesn’t have to “hide the evidence”, he can just toss it in the trash and say it’s Jell-O or something… A vampire of convenience.

[hangovercurse]

The Things We Can’t Tell Pete About iii

Colson takes you on your first date.

Colson x Reader

Warnings: Cursing, teeth-rotting fluff

Word Count: 2721

| i | ii | iv | v |

Friday couldn’t come soon enough, even though it was only 5 days after your encounter at Pete’s house. You had been texting each other all week, he would send you pictures of him in the studio and you would tell him of the various artists you were working with.

And you were both avoiding Pete like the plague.

You felt bad, you really did. You loved your older brother, a lot. But if you were around him you wouldn’t be able to stop yourself from telling him about the date. You told him everything, and it was already hard enough not to tell him when you weren’t around him.

You were so nervous about hiding the date beforehand that you never stopped to consider what would happen afterwards. On one hand if it went really well, there would most likely be more, and if it went really bad, you’d have to explain to Pete why you didn’t want to be around the guy you’d gotten along so well with.

None of that crossed your mind. What did cross your mind, however, was that you had no idea where you were going. You had been asking Colson all week, trying to plan an outfit, but he wouldn’t tell you.

You’ll find out on Friday.

Okay but that still doesn’t help me

You’ll look amazing in whatever you wear

I will end you -_-

I would let you

You smiled a bit too wide when you read that, a blush coming to your cheeks.

Just wear something casual 😊

“JuSt WeAr SoMeThInG cAsUaL”

I mean you could just show up naked…

-_-

Just saying ;p

Watch yourself Kelly

I’d rather watch you

 Friday came along, and you were looking at the clock every 5 minutes. Lea, a new artist that you had been writing with for the past few months, took notice. “Someone’s got a big date tonight.”

You tilted your head and sent a joking glare to the girl. “I’m just saying, you’re looking at the clock like it’s gonna explode.” She smiled as you sighed.

“I haven’t been on a date in so fucking long, Lea.” You whined, throwing your head back, “I’m so excited.”

She chuckled, “who’s the lucky guy?” She shook her shoulders and you let out a giggle.

“I technically can’t tell you that.”

Her eyes went wide, “what’s that supposed to mean?”

You smiled widely, “technically speaking I’m not supposed to be going on a date with him. He’s kind of my brother’s best friend.”

Her jaw dropped, hands spreading on the table, “you’re joking!” You laughed loudly, shaking your head. “Y/N that’s against sibling law!”

“I know, I know. But it’s not my fault he’s the most attractive man I’ve ever seen and he’s into me. What was I supposed to do?” You frowned and she sighed.

“What does he look like?”

“I would show you a picture but then you would know who he is, but I can tell you he’s hot as fuck.”

Lia pouted, the wheels spinning in her head. “Wait, so he’s famous?” You bit your lip, giving her her answer. “Holy shit, Y/N! What if the press catches you guys out together? Pete’s definitely gonna see then.”

You groaned, throwing your head into your hands, “I know, but it’s just one date. And he promised it would be somewhere secluded.”

“Ohhh.” She dragged out the last sound, her voice getting higher. “Secluded, huh?”

You rolled your eyes, “you’re paying me to write songs for you, not tell you about my love life.” You giggled and she sighed.

“Fine, but if you don’t write a song about all this, I’m gonna be very upset.”

“Whatever you say, Lea.”

 I’m outside

Your heart skipped a beat when you got his text, checking yourself out in the mirror once more. “Fuck it, here goes nothing.” You mumbled to yourself before walking out of your apartment, locking the door behind you. You had told Colson to pick you up behind the building, so that if there were any paps on the street, they wouldn’t see you.

You walked out to find him leaning against his car, a smirk coming to your lips as you drank him in. He looked even hotter than that first night, and you knew you were in for trouble. When he saw you, he bit his bottom lip, a smile on his face as he checked you out.

“Hey.” You said once you got close to him. “I’m supposed to be going on this date tonight with this really hot Rockstar, have you seen him?” You tilted your head slightly.

He raised an eyebrow at you before deciding to follow along. “A hot Rockstar? Hm, no, I don’t think I have.”

“Bummer, I was really excited.” You let out a dramatic sigh.

He chuckled, “sounds like an asshole, if you ask me.”

“Oh, he totally was.” You giggle, scrunching your nose, “but the coolest asshole I’ve ever met.”

“I mean, I’m not hot asshole Rockstar but I do have a car. I could take you out instead?” You tilted your head, pretending to think about it.

“Hmmmm, I don’t know…” You trailed off, a smirk still on your lips.

He rolled his eyes, grabbing your hand and leading you to the passenger side seat as he spoke. “Oh my god just get in the car.”

You chuckled as you sat down, him joining you a few moments later. You looked over at him as he started the car, still half convinced you were dreaming. He caught you staring, sending you a glance before he pulled from where the car was. “What?”

“Nothing.” You smiled, not looking away from him.

“If you keep looking at me like that, I am going to crash this car.” He chuckled, a blush coming to his cheeks as he paid attention to the road in front of him, trying to ignore your gaze.

You giggled, turning to face forward. “I can’t help it,” you started, “you’re nice to look at.”

He rolled his eyes, “well I could’ve told you that.”

You leaned your head back, letting out a dry laugh. “And not conceited at all.”

He bit his tongue, both of you grinning like idiots as you drove down the streets of New York. You continued to bother him about where he was taking you, but he wouldn’t budge, telling you that you would find out when you got there.

He pulled into a small dirt parking lot next to an expanse of trees. There were only two other cars in the lot, and the forest seemed secluded. He turned the car off, getting out and walking over to open your door, helping you up. “This is cute.” You said, taking in the scenery around you. It wasn’t very often you got to be around nature without a lot of people crowding the wildlife.

Colson smiled as he opened the trunk, pulling out a literal picnic basket and blanket. “Yeah, well, you’re cute. So, I thought it would be fitting.” You blushed, reaching out to try and take the blanket from his hand but he moved it out of your reach.

You pouted, “well I was gonna try and hold your hand but both of your hands are full so I guess I’ll just have to suffer.”

Colson rolled his eyes, shifting so that the blanket rested on top of the basket all in one hand, grabbing yours with the other. You intertwined your fingers with his, the feeling very natural. You had never been this straight-forward with a guy, especially one you just met, but it just came so easily with Colson. “All you had to do was ask, princess.”

Your cheeks turned red at the nickname, so you turned your head away from him slightly. He chuckled at the movement and you pouted. Colson swung your arms as you walked onto a trail leading through the forest. “This is really cheesy, you know that, right?” You asked, looking up at him.

He nodded, meeting your eyes, “Yeah, I know.”

“Very un-Rockstar-like.” You commented. “If anyone found out you were a hopeless romantic your reputation would be ruined.”

“No one would believe you if you told anyone.” He laughed, “but you have to admit, this is gonna be the best first date you’ve ever been on.”

You were too distracted by his blue eyes to notice the scenery around you, the beautiful trees swaying with the slight breeze, the sound of water rushing in the distance. “I guess we’ll see.” You smirked; your tongue pressed against your bottom teeth.

“You are mean.” He muttered, shaking his head. You giggled, finally taking your eyes off his and finding the shoreline a few hundred feet in front of you. Your smile widened at the sight and you squeezed his hand.

“You really are a hopeless romantic.” You giggled as your feet hit the sand and Colson groaned at your words. “I like it!”

He grinned at you as you grabbed the blanket from his arm, spreading it out. “Well, we couldn’t exactly go out to the city without risking being seen and you deserve better than my house. So, you get a picnic on the beach.”

You rolled your eyes as he set the picnic basket down, sitting on the blanket and pulling you down next to him. “Just say you thought it would be romantic.”

“I never said I didn’t!” He opened the basket, pulling out various dishes and setting them onto the blanket in front of you. He then pulled out a bottle of red wine and two glasses.

You raised your eyebrow, “didn’t take you as a wine drinker.” You giggled

His eyes went wide, “just let me have this, woman.”

“I wasn’t complaining, I just think it’s kind of funny.” He rolled his eyes as you leaned into him, his arm wrapping around you. “Seriously, though, this is really sweet. No one has ever taken me on a picnic date.” You leaned your head against his shoulder, smile never leaving you.

“If you tell anyone I did this I’ll kill you.” He mumbled and you hid your laugh.

“I thought no one would believe me?” You looked up to his face, taking in his sharp jawline. You wanted to lean up and press your lips to it, but you resisted the temptation. You felt his chest move as he laughed silently, pulling you even closer to him.

The rest of the night passed just as easily, conversation flowing naturally between you and Colson. He told you all about his daughter, his friends, and the movie that he and Pete had wrapped. You talked about your music and the people you were writing for. It was easy to just exist around him, something that didn’t happen with very many people. Colson was real and open and made everything else seem to just disappear. You could understand why Pete had taken such a liking to him.

You two had stayed long after the food was gone and the sun had set. Colson brought out two candles and lit them, making you swoon even further. It was like a fairytale, and you never wanted to leave.

Throughout the night there were moments when you almost grabbed his face and kissed him, and you were sure he felt the same way. But you didn’t want to mess up what was going so well by moving too fast. And you still hadn’t discussed the not-so-small challenge of your relationship, Pete.

Eventually, when you had almost fallen asleep in his tattooed arms, Colson decided you guys had best be leaving. You packed up the food and candles, making jokes and basking in each other’s presence. Once Colson had placed everything back in the trunk, he made his way over to the passenger side door that you were leaning against.

He placed his hands against the car on either side of you, leaning down to be as level as possible with you. “I had a lot of fun tonight.” You said, softly.

His face was dangerously close to yours, the intimacy taking your breath away. “I did too.” His voice matched yours. His eyes wandered your face, occasionally drifting down to your lips before pulling away.

“I really like you, Colson.”

He smiled widely; his eyes gleaming. “I really like you too, Y/N.” He mimicked your phrasing. “What would you say if I said I wanted to take you out again?”

Your tongue peeked out between your lips slightly, “I guess you’ll have to ask and find out.”

He let out a sigh, “you are not gonna go easy on me, are you?” You shook your head, your smirk reaching your eyes. “Good.” He whispered, leaning in closer to you. You could move forward and close the gap between your lips, but you weren’t going to be the one to make the first move. “Will you go out with me again? Soon?”

You smiled at his eagerness, “I would love to. How soon?”

“Does Sunday make me sound too eager?”

You tilted your head, humming. “Nah, Sunday’s perfect.”

“Would it make this night better or worse if I kissed you right now?” His words made your heart flutter, your arms moving up his chest to rest lazily on his shoulders.

“I guess you’ll have to find out.” He chuckled at that, glancing up.

“What have I gotten myself into?” He whispered but the smile on his face screamed volumes.

You giggled softly, “are you gonna kiss me or not?”

His smile widened before he leaned in to meet your lips. His hands moved to your waist as you pulled him closer to you by his neck. This kiss was different from the first ones you shared, it was soft and sweet. You weren’t hungry for each other, dancing in the dark to hide from your brother and taking the few moments you could get, you were just two people kissing for the sake of it.

He pulled away slowly, his nose still touching your own. You both stood there for a while, enjoying the feeling of the other and the breeze that blew between you. Finally, he mumbled, “We should probably get going.” Despite his words, he didn’t move.

You nodded in agreement against him but also made no effort to get in the car. Instead, you leaned forward and captured his lips in yours again. It was small and quick, but just as sweet. “Fuck I’m already so far gone.” Colson mumbled before pushing himself off of you, his eyes locked on yours.

You blushed, leaning off the car and finding the handle. “You aren’t the only one.”

 Your hand was intertwined with his the entire way home, both of you grinning like idiots as music played quietly on the radio. “I don’t want to be the one to bring it up, but what are we gonna tell your brother?” He asked, his eyes on the road.

You sighed, looking out the window, “I don’t know yet. I don’t wanna hide anything from him but at the same time if we told him he’d freak out.”

“But why would it bother him that much?” Colson asked, and you frowned.

“I don’t know, I think he’s worried about what happens if we break up. He doesn’t have many close friends and he seems to really like you, so he doesn’t want to have to choose between us or feel awkward around us if things end badly.”

Colson nodded, thinking. “But he wouldn’t pick me over you, ever. I wouldn’t let him.”

“Yeah, and he knows that but it doesn’t make it any easier for him.” You sighed. “I don’t know, maybe I’ll try and bring up the idea and see how he reacts.”

“It’s your decision. And if you decide that you don’t wanna do this with me because of Pete, I’d completely understand.” You smiled at his words, your heart melting at his thoughtfulness.

You squeezed his hand, “You are so much sweeter than you let people think, you know that?” He nodded, a soft smile on his features. “I’m not giving up on this.” You whispered.

“I won’t either.” He glanced over at you, briefly taking in your angelic appearance before turning his eyes back to the road.

[ablednt]

im not disagreeing with ur gifted kid post, but the way some of ur stuff is phrased can come off in ways u might not have intended. boiling those sorts of unrealistic expectations of very young kids down to "being complimented too much" ignores that a lot of these kids were unfairly placed in these programs and forced to complete them regardless of how much they struggled with it (and that these kids were in prime environments for developing npd due to overinflated ego from a young age). many gifted kids were given extremely unreasonable expectations and only barely managed to meet them in order to avoid facing punishment for failing. im not saying there ARENT gifted kids who dont treat it like "oh i was so special and now im not boohoo :( i need special treatment for it" but i feel like theres some aspects thats have been unintentionally misunderstood (/nm /nonagg!!! ^^ just wanted to bring this up as more of a discussion than an argument, hope ive made sense!)

No I definitely agree but my point is that I've never seen a genuine discussion from these people about this and I'm sure they exist to some capacity but that's Very Clearly not what the community was formed around nor where the term originated. People don't complain that they had expectations on them they just make stupid tiktoks like "teachers seeing a neurodivergent person: omg you're so smart you're my favorite student!!!" and then act like that's 1. universal and not just for palatable NDs and 2. that being complimented by their teachers was the problem and not everything else

I think it's also important to note that the expectations really weren't worse for gifted kids, it's just that gifted kids got closer to reaching those expectations and felt they actually had a chance whereas everyone else was punished automatically for not coming close. The issue is not specific to any one class or type of class it's a widespread issue with academia as a whole.

I genuinely don't think that gifted kids had it any easier than anyone else but I don't think that they had it harder either. Recently someone while venting told me, "I think school is stealing my family from me" because of the extreme expectations put on them and they're definitely not in any kind of gifted kid program, it's literally just as bad and extreme for all of us.

Like and I really don't think it's a coincidence that the times that I've criticized gifted kids and the times that I've challenged academia is when I've gotten some of my most blatantly ableist asks telling me to "just get over [my disability] and read some fucking books" and grasping at whatever straws they can to make me look "unintelligent" (like yeah I totally don't have trauma with academia I'm just mad because [checks notes] I play undertale sometimes and it made me incapable of coherent thought I guess/s)

The community is inherently classist and ableist and whilst they definitely do have trauma from academia it is not any different than the rest of ours, them separating it as some different and unique trauma just because they did better than us so obviously we just Wouldn't Understand their Huge Brains is just so frustrating and gross and I just really wish people would realize that rather than using this as a crutch not to work on their internalized ableism like yeah take trauma processing at your own pace but that doesn't mean you get to make it everyone else's problem.

Also a lot of people are gonna hate this comparison but I frankly don't see a single difference in gifted kids making up terms to say that their experiences are somehow more severe or even all that different to ours cause they're just Built Different and empaths taking widespread issues that affect everyone and acting like they're just sensitive special little souls and we could never comprehend their pain when really it's the same shit like depression, anxiety, etc. that we all live with on a daily basis.

[brelione]

Wish I Was Sarah PT.1(Kiara Carrera X Reader)

Kiara had first met you 3rd of December.You had been at a party,a christmas party to be specific.You were a kook which meant your parents forced you to go to all the big mansion parties all the time.All of the big ones were there,Sarah Cameron,Topper Thornton,Rafe Cameron,Kiara Carrera.All of them.

You had worn a sweater over a simple t shirt,too lazy to put on a dress like all the others.Your parents were just glad that you had agreed to make an appearance even if you looked like shit.You had sat in the corner of the couch,earbuds in.You were listening to Sweater Weather,thinking it was funny because you were,in fact,wearing a sweater.

Kiara had stood at the snack table for a while,holding a disgusting monstrosity of a cookie,debating on picking off the sprinkles and throwing them away.She had never really been a fan of sprinkles.She had glanced around the crowds,the moms talking as they ate cheese cubes,the dads talking as they drank beers and wine,the other teens probably getting high up in the bathroom.Then her eyes fell on you.

She felt her face heat up immediately,staring at you for a while.You were underdressed for the occasion,your earbuds in as you sat curled up on the couch,seeming tired of being there.She debated herself in her head,trying to decide whether to approach you or not.Eventually she gave in,walking across the room with fake confidence,sitting down next to you.She watched as you tensed up,your eyes going wide,your bottom lip between your teeth,wondering what she wanted.

You pulled out an earbud,looking up at the beautiful girl that had decided to sit next to you of all places. “Hey.”She smiled,holding out her hand to you. “Im Kiara.”She introduced herself.You pulled out your other earbud,a small grin on your face. “Hi.Im (Y/N).”You shook her hand,feeling your face heat up a bit. “So um….yeah.What song were you listening to?”She asked,trying not to laugh at how dumb she sounded.You showed her your phone,finding yourself moving closer to her on the couch. “You like Frozen ll a lot.”She laughed,watching you scroll through the playlist.

You nodded,handing her an earbud to make her listen to Lost In The Woods. “Ive never seen Frozen ll.”She admitted,watching as your jaw dropped and your eyes widened. “Kiara!Oh my god-whats wrong with you?”Your voice became higher as you talked,your hand covering your mouth.She laughed at you,shrugging. “Wait,have you seen the first one?”You asked.She nodded,watching as a look of relief came across your face. “Okay,did you like it?”You asked.She shrugged once again,smiling at your enthusiasm. 

“The second one is better I promise.”You answered.She rolled her eyes,leaning back against the couch. “Im serious!The soundtrack,the animation everything is so much better!”You exclaimed,shaking your phone as you spoke.She nodded. “Yeah,whatever you say.”She replied,watching as you tried to convince her. “You have to watch it!Please?”You pouted.She nodded,making you clap your hands in excitement as you went into your disney plus app.She watched as you scrolled through the movies,a big grin on your face because you had easily defeated her.

 “Its so cold in here.Who puts air conditioning on in december?”She complained out loud.You handed her your phone for a moment,not hesitating to pull off your sweater and hand it to her. “That’s pretty warm.”You told her,not really thinking about it.Her face turned red,biting her bottom lip as she held back a smile.

She had originally regretted her wardrobe choice of a green dress,the fabric light and flowy,her arms exposed which caused goosebumps to rise across her caramel skin.She didnt regret it now though as she pulled on your sweater,the warm fabric making the goosebumps go away.Her heart was thumping as you moved incredibly close to her,handing her an earbud and holding your phone in front of the two of you.

As you reached the point of Into The Unknown it was announced that dinner was ready,ham,turkey,potatoes,corn,rolls,pretty much everything imaginable.It disgusted you that you all had a feast of expensive,high quality food while people in The Cut were lucky to have a meal a day.The adults called the other teens downstairs for the meal and you promised Kiara that you’d finish watching it after.You two decided to sit next to eachother at the table,your sweater still on her.

She offered it back to you,saying that she didnt want to get food on it but you told her that it was fine and that it looked better on her anyways. “So the movie...what do you think about it so far?”You had asked softly as Kelce and Topper came down the stairs. “Its good.Its good,like you said,better than the first for sure.”She nodded,eyebrows furrowing when she noticed your eyes falling away from her and towards someone walking down the stairs.Sarah fucking Cameron.The blonde was wearing a nice,light grey dress that looked amazing on her figure,her hair in pretty braids.

Kiara saw the look in your eyes,the way they were full of wonder,mesmorized by Sarah Cameron.She felt like dying,like being eaten up by a black hole as she wondered how she could be so stupid.She had thought that maybe you were interested in her but it was probably because she had been the only girl there.Now that Sarah was here she would be lucky if she could get your attention back again. 

“So what do you think of the theory about Elsa?”She asked,glaring at Sarah.Your face heated up,taking your eyes off of the pretty blonde and back to Kiara. “What theory?”You asked,glancing over at Sarah every couple of moments.Kiara tried to hide her anger,covering it with a small grin. “The one about her being a lesbian.What do you think of it?”She asked,trying to learn more about you and if she even had a chance.You bit your lip,looking over at the plate of biscuits. 

“I mean,I think at this point we all just want representation in disney and in like,media in general but I dont think Elsa is a lesbian.I feel like she might be aromantic or maybe...well,I dont really know.There’s nothing-well,you know she actual might be a lesbian,”You paused,leaning forward to grab a biscuit and put it on your plate. 

“There’s this one scene in Frozen ll,ill point it out to you that has like vibes to it.But then again just because she doesnt have a male love interest doesnt exactly mean she’s a lesbian.Moana and Merida didnt have guys that they were in love with but that doesnt mean they’re lesbians.Merida might be a lesbian,have you seen how good she is in nature and cooking fish in the wild?And how she knew those berries were poison?Thats some cottage core lesbian shit.What was I talking about?”you asked,realising you had gotten caught up in the topic and had forgotten the original question.

Kiara smiled,glad to hear you speak so passionately about something. “If Elsa is a lesbian.”She held back a laugh,watching as the realisation came across your face. “Right,so the answer is yes but also no but also yes.Like at least fifty percent yes but also no but im 1000% confident in Merida being a lesbian.”You confirmed,cutting open your biscuit.She nodded,trying to think of a new topic before she lost your attention again. “So the whole thing of people shipping Else with Jack Frost.What do you think of that?”She asked,laughing when your fists slapped down in your lap,gaining the attention of Rafe and Sarah. 

“Dude literally it makes no sense!Jack Frost isnt even disney!Like the only reason anyone ever shipped them was because they have the same powers but Jack is like 300 years old and hes like...energetic and giggly and child-like and immature and she would get so annoyed so quick!She’s introverted and serious and of course theres nothing wrong with that but she gets like too embarrassed too fast and I cant see them ever getting together or even being friends.Like,Merida is most definitely a lesbian but if they’re gonna ship Jack with anyone it should be her!Their personalities are so similar.”You huffed,biting into a half of your biscuit.

She nodded,grabbing a scoop of mashed potatoes and putting it onto her plate. “Yeah,definitely.So who is your favorite disney princess?”She asked,sending a bitter glare towards Sarah.Sarah had been staring at you during your passionate speech,filtering out the other voices to listen to you.She found you fascinating,intriguing.She was trying to figure out why she didnt know you or if you were new to the island.You glanced her way,smirking to yourself when you saw her blush. “Um...I dont think I have a favorite.They’re all powerful and wonderful in their own ways and they all have pretty cool stories.Except Pocahontas,I hate that they romanticize colonization and in reality she was like ten and he was in his late twenties.The soundtrack was great though.”You shrugged,taking a sip of root beer.

She nodded,listening in to what the old folks were talking about.There were more people outside who had opted to take plates of food out there.Kiara wouldve preferred to go outside but it was colder out there and she hadnt been prepared.Her mother was looking at her from across the table but Kiara couldnt care less,too busy searching for your parents. “Hey,(Y/N)?”She asked quietly,getting your attention off of your biscuit. “Where are your parents?”She asked.You shrugged,getting your own scoop of mashed potatoes. “I think they’re outside.I dunno.”You answered.She nodded,continuing to eat,sending a glare towards Sarah every couple of moments. 

“Eat faster so we can finish the movie.”You told her,not thinking about it as you spoke.She smiled,hurrying to eat. “Wait,why dont we just go outside and watch it?”She suggested.You bit your cheek,trying to figure out why you hadnt thought of that.You nodded,standing up and picking up your root beer,balancing it on your plate and walking out of the house,Kiara close behind you. “Where are we going?”She asked.You grinned,careful as you walked down the hill. “I know a spot.”You answered,walking across the sand of the beach.

You had explored pretty much all spots of the beach and had found your favorite one,a cave behind a wall of rocks that you had personalized.You walked towards the rock wall,slipping through the crack. “What is this place?”She asked,still following you.You smiled,turning on your phone flash light so you could see the lantern that you had put in there,turning it on.Her face lit up,looking around the cave.Pillows,sheets,blankets,pretty curtains hanging from the walls,a bin of paints so you could paint the rocks. “Thats such a good question.I really dont know how it got here,I just went through the crack one day and kind of just found it.”You shrugged,sitting down in the pile of pillows and patting the spot next to you.She sat down,shifting so she was as close to you as possible,leaning her head against your shoulder to test the waters.You pulled the earbuds from you phone,turning up the volume of the movie.

@poguestyleskye​ @jjtheangel​ @balanceofgray​​ @outerbongs​  @copper-boom​  @httpstarkey​ @teenwaywardasgardian 

If you’d like to be tagged in all future JJ imagines/headcannons/series comment with a heart,if you’d like to be tagged in all future Pope imagines/headcannons/series comment with a smiling face,if you’d like to be tagged in all future Rafe imagines/headcannons/series comment with a frowning face,if you’d like to be tagged in all future Kiara imagines/headcannons/series comment with a question mark and if you’d like to be tagged in all future Sarah Cameron imagines/headcannons/series comment with a plus sign.If you’d like to be tagged in all Kelce content coment with a “>” and if youd like to be tagged in all Topper content comment with a “%”.Or if thats too complicated you can just comment whose name you’d like to be tagged in.

[silverandarsenic-hcs]

Could you please please please! Do Papas/cardiac and ghouls reacting to S/O being nervous to do anything because their trans, or coming out to them? (FTM and MTF)

First post in a long time and it’s not even my work! This is something @solofreakk answered for us FOREVER ago that I never even go around to pressing the 8 buttons to post it. How absolutely lazy can I be. But please enjoy (-kat) 

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*cracks my knuckles* alright Oingos and Boingos and Those Who Are Neither i’m gonna do my best at this as a trans/nonbinary guy but i definitely don’t speak for everyone’s experiences, so… if you don’t like this i apologize. I want everyone to be supportive of you so if they sound repetitive I’m sorry! And I apologize in advance for not including MTF :( I just feel like trans women and men can have some similar experiences but in the end I don’t think it’s my place to write for them. If there are any trans women out there writing stuff for Ghost i would say Please Shamelessly Shout Yourselves Out In The Replies Ladies.

Papa I: He’s a bit too old for most activities that would reveal you being trans imo. A pride parade is too crazy for him, he doesn’t have the energy to go to the pool or something. If you did he’d just lay there in the sun with a ghoul waiting to open an umbrella when he’s about to start getting too crisp. So if you didn’t go swimming, or take your shirt off, it literally would not raise any questions. He’s not in the water. He might make an offhand comment about how you should enjoy yourself but you could very easily tell him you’d prefer to be sitting with him, and you melting his old man heart like that kills any other question he might’ve even had. If you do end up explaining it to him later, he kindly reminds you there’s nothing wrong with knowing who you are. Encourages you to feel comfortable around him, you shouldn’t feel like you have to hide who you are because of your past. No further questions asked. You can say what you’d like about yourself but he won’t press or get in your business.

Papa II: This man is totally comfortable with nudity. You being opposite is… weird. He’ll ask. Are you insecure? You can say it’s something like that. He’ll be able to tell that you’re kind of dodging the question and he’ll leave it alone. But you’ve piqued his curiosity now. He’s gonna watch you just a little bit closer than he did before. He’ll suggest you guys take a swim, or go to the beach, and when you shoot that down too, he’ll ask. “Is there a reason why?” You can try to make excuses, or be vague, or say a half-truth, but those mismatched eyes see right through you. He probably already knows. When you ask him if he does, he’ll just wrap you in a nice strong Papa II Rare Tender Hug™. “It’s nothing to be ashamed about, you know. It’s okay to decide you’re not what everyone said you were. It’s part of becoming your own person.” Would probably be more bold in asking what your future plans are for yourself. Later on quietly reminds you not to bind for too long, or helps you with shots, or is making sure you’re laid up in luxury if you get top surgery. Supports you even if you’re gnc and don’t bind or don’t plan to transition and would impart his death glare upon anyone who dared to misgender you or treat you poorly.

Papa III: Hope no one shoots me down for saying “Papa III trans man” but *eyes emoji*. He’s gonna recognize your behavior immediately. You sweat at the idea of going to the pool or the beach, you don’t wanna change in front of him, you get nervous if someone calls you pretty instead of handsome. He’ll see you very very discreetly tugging at your binder, or taking deep breaths. And he just knows. And he’s elated. He’s like “OH I AM GONNA MAKE YOU FEEL SO HANDSOME.” Immediately deploys plan “Compliment Anon ‘Til He Dies”. He’s telling you that your hair looks great today, your laugh is so masculine, I love the way your arms look, That shirt is so handsome on you, I’m lucky to have such a wonderful man in my life. Anything it takes to have you know how great you are. If you’re busy melting over the compliments, you might not immediately realize he’s caught on. You’ll probably think he’s just doing his regular Papa III schmoozing. Eventually, it clicks in your head. He’s lauding on you ‘cause he knows. So because he seems so cool with it, you finally work up the nerve to tell him. And he smiles at you and he’s taking his shirt off and whoa whoa WHOA HEY IT’S WORK HOURS MAN- oh. Oh. I see. That’s why. He buttons his shirt back up and pats you on the head and asks if you wanna get top surgery too, and if you say yes he’s literally writing you a check on the spot. He wants you to feel as comfortable in your body as he does in his and if you have any dysphoria woes he is all ears. He’s seriously like ride or die for you bro.

Cardinal Copia/Papa IV: He thinks your nervous behavior is totally normal, only because he is also nervous all the time. So he doesn’t even read into it. He’s totally clueless. You don’t wanna go swimming? Okay, yeah, actually he doesn’t really want to do it either. He’s pale, he’d just get burnt. Let’s stay inside all day in our pajamas. You don’t wanna put your pajamas on in front of him? That is also ok, hell let’s change in different rooms. You don’t even have to explain yourself, he just Gets It™. Eventually if you start wondering why he hasn’t asked about your odd behavior, you’ll just ask him. “Did you notice that I’m kinda… weird, about some stuff?” He’ll say he’s weird about stuff too, why should he pry into your personal business? So you press on and tell him you’re trans. You don’t want anyone else to know, for a myriad of reasons. You might start rambling about it, complaining about stuff, talking about what you want. And he’ll just… listen. Nod sometimes to let you know he’s hearing you, and you can keep going if you want. Finally you’ll end it with an exasperated and maybe slightly embarrassed sigh, but before you can apologize he’s pulling you into a hug. You are free to talk about it as much as you want, especially if you don’t tell anyone else. You’ve got all this stuff weighing on your mind and no one to vent it to, and he’s flattered you finally felt comfortable enough to let him know something so personal. 

Dewdrop: Dare I say it… I headcanon Dewdrop as trans too… He’s much more like me though, feisty and kinda gnc. Like III, he’s gonna catch onto your behavior immediately. He’s not gonna make any moves to let you know that he knows, though. Just quietly be in your corner. Well, as quiet as Dew gets. He’s gonna… violently be in your corner. If he finds out someone misgendered you or committed some related act he considers a heinous crime, they’re losing some teeth. He’ll take a chunk out of them if someone isn’t there to rein him in. Eventually when you confide in him that you’re trans, he’s telling you that’s cool. You ask him why he’s so chill about it and he’s just smirking at you. “What…?” You ask. “Seriously, what? Why- ooohhh…” You’re free to not bind around him because most of the time, he doesn’t. He’s not gonna judge you for anything. Whether you wanna be traditionally masculine or be lax about gender norms, he’s gonna tell you you’re cool as Hell no matter what. Admires your courage in coming out to him and will take your secret to the grave.

Aether: First may I start this off by saying I may or may not have asked Aether, like irl, if he said “trans rights”. To which Aether kindly and genuinely said, “Does [Aether] say “trans rights”? Of course trans rights!” So there you have it Fosters and Peoples. Mr. Quintessential Ghoul himself did indeed say trans rights and I’ve never been happier to have asked someone that. I digress… He’s not gonna focus too much on odd behavior or nerves. It’s not because he’s got his head in the clouds, it’s just because this is a Judgement Free Zone™. If and/or when you come out to him, expect him to say, “Hell yeah, you do what’s right for you!” He’s got your back. If you want help with something, say an outfit or you need a new binder, he’s gonna help you figure it out. If you ask him not to tell anyone else, his lips are sealed. 

Mountain: He is so used to being taller than everyone else so if you’re a short king (like me 5’3 man gang rise up [but not too high]) that does not make him ask any questions. He’s also out of your business when it comes to how you dress, or messing with your shirt, or not wanting to do certain activities, etc. He just… it’s not that he doesn’t care, it’s that he’s chill about everything. So chill in fact that eventually one day you just casually mention it. And he’s like, “Neat, you have lore.” Which is hilarious. He’s probably likely to ask if you’re making sure not to wear your binder for too long. He wants you to take good care of yourself, y’know, you’re really cool and you should treat your body kindly. He’ll ask if anyone else knows and if you tell him you’d rather they not find out immediately, he’s already giving you a thumbs up and making sure any question directed at your gender is immediately shot down.

Swiss: Swiss is too focused on having a good time and being good to everyone who deserves kindness to worry about why or why not you don’t want to go to the pool with them. You’ve got your reasons and that’s enough, although he’ll sorely miss you because he could use the extra help in fending Dew off in the water gun fight that most definitely will end in bloodshed if Aether doesn’t step in. Eventually he’ll convince you to maybe go, but not before you cave and tell him you can’t be seen with your shirt off. He’s smart enough to know what that means. No worries! And you know what? In solidarity he just won’t take his off, either. Will support you regardless of how you choose to present yourself and will sometimes casually gift you a new shirt or something, “because I think you’d look really handsome in it.”

Rain: Tender boy. He literally would not pry or push you to tell him anything you didn’t seem like you wanted to say. If you come out to him, that’s completely on your terms. I think he might eventually have a feeling, but he’s not going to make assumptions about you and will let you tell him when you’re ready, and even if you never do, that’s ok too. When you do tell him, he’s completely supportive and won’t make you feel any less of a man about yourself. Is a bit sad to know that you may struggle with dysphoria and he wants you to know that you’re a wonderful person, inside and out, even if you don’t always see it.

Cirrus: She notices your odd behavior, but she’s polite and chooses not to say anything about it. She doesn’t want to make you feel like she’s judging you or scare you or make you uncomfortable. She probably doesn’t flat out make assumptions about you, but she does think about it occasionally. Eventually when you come out to her, she completely understands. Sings her praises about how nice it is that you trust her enough to tell her something so personal about yourself, and says she’s thankful to have such a great person in her life. Also she’s always been your protective mom friend, but if you need anyone to get punched for saying anything transphobic, just let her know. Mama bear has got you. Mama bear has got claws. Hell, Cumulus will even help beat someone up. She doesn’t even need to know the reason. If Cirrus is verbally or physically abusing someone that’s good enough reason for her. You now have two powerful and protective mom friends, use this power for good.

Cumulus: She’s not gonna notice if you’re acting nervous or weird about anything. She’s focused on hanging out with you and having a good time and making sure you’re having a good time and that fun things are happening. If you go to the beach and don’t take your shirt off, not weird. Neither of you are even in the water, you’re probably making an impressive sand castle on top of a sleeping Mountain. If you’re at the pool, she’s okay with sitting on the side talking your ear off about anything under the sun (which currently includes all the other ghouls as it was a family trip to the pool). She wouldn’t notice if you tugged at your binder or had a higher voice or anything someone might think would be conspicuous. If and/or when you eventually come out to her, she’s like “Ooohhh, okay!” And honestly? She might forget. And then remember. And then forget again, and remember again. It’s just another thing about you, like your hair colour or what music you like. Doesn’t make you any less wonderful to her, and wouldn’t change anything about your relationship.

- @solofreakk

[jaskiers-sweetkiss]

Not Possible [Soulmate AU]

Pairing: Daisy Johnson x Daniel Sousa

Based on the prompt: “Can someone make a soulmark story with Daisysous where Daisy's soulmark is "Who the hell are you?" and Daisy, being someone that would always get herself into tight situations, was something that she heard a lot and has gotten kind of desensitized to it and while Daniel's soulmark is "Who I am is on a need to know basis", he had gotten into the habit of asking people who they are to get that kind of response. However, both of them are very focused on their respective missions (Daisy to fight the Chronicoms and Daniel to figure out who is trying to infiltrate his SHIELD base), they didn't realize they were each other's soulmates until he noticed his writing on her body while rescuing her from the barn and then they fall in love yay” from @magickgirl786 (lmk if you want me to untag you) 

Warnings: light swearing, mentions of torture, THERE WILL BE AGENTS OF SHIELD SPOILERS

a/n: I was so inspired by the prompt that I literally pounded this out in like an hour last night. This is my first Daisel/Dousy/Sousy/DaisySous fic so lmk what you think!!

___

Daisy Johnson hadn’t exactly had a normal life and being born with the words “Who the hell are you?” tattooed on her wrist didn’t make it any better. It was a question she had asked and been asked many times throughout her life. She asked herself that very question constantly growing up as she fashioned a name and identity for herself since she had no family to do it for her. She created Skye, the hacker but then “Skye” was thrown out the window when she met her parents and learned her real name was Daisy Johnson and she started the entire process of creating an identity over again. At some point, Agent Johnson became Quake and Quake became Destroyer of Worlds, she’d had enough names and identities to make a person’s head spin.

Working as a field agent with SHIELD didn’t help much either. Her job ensured that she was asked: “Who the hell are you?” on nearly every assignment. She barely even registered the shock of hearing the words anymore. She certainly wasn’t listening for them in 1953, decades away from anyone who could possibly be a candidate for her soulmate.

Daniel Sousa wasn’t sure what kind of soulmate he’d be getting with a soulmark like “Who I am is on a need to know basis,” but boy did he try to find out. He had tried to elicit the response from every new person he met but it never hit. The words started to make more sense when he joined the SSR and later SHIELD. Surely his soulmate must be an agent, he thought, but soon enough that idea fell through too. The identity of his soulmate was far from his mind as he went about his job, especially when dealing with the added stress of a Peggy Carter imposter. That must’ve been why the words went right over his head.

“Who the hell are you?” His words were harsh as he stepped into his office only to find it occupied by some dame he’d never seen before.

“Who I am is on a need to know basis.” Her words were curt but she radiated power and authority. On a normal day Daniel might’ve shown a little more respect for the woman but today he was out of patience.

“I need to know.” He demanded and she smirked.

“Ah, no, you don’t.” She smiled coyly, “Because I don’t exist, and we’ve never met. Now, can you shut the door please?”

“Not to be rude, but it’s been one of those days,” he began, eying the woman with his signature no-nonsense look, “So produce some credentials or I’m gonna put you in handcuffs.”

She complied immediately and he nearly let out a sigh of relief. Today may have been stressful but at least everyone was being compliant, even the two imposters he caught had gone quietly and without a fuss.

“I should inform you, that’s not my real name,” she spoke evenly as she handed over her ID, “My initials are C-I-A, catch my drift?”

“Subtle.” He deadpanned but he was grateful. It seemed someone was finally taking his fears of Hydra sleeper cells in SHIELD seriously, maybe someone was finally here to make his day easier.

The next thing he knew he was locked up in the very cell he had been keeping the imposters in. So much for making his day easier.

Daisy was surprised by the flare of guilt that came from locking Sousa up in his own holding cell. She normally wouldn’t have thought twice, it was part of the job and she was saving her people and the world, but there was something about Daniel Sousa that gave her pause. Maybe it was because he was a nice guy, or because he was already catching onto Hydra’s presence more than fifty years before it would actually come to light. Either way, she had to shake off the feeling as she continued on her day.

An opportunity to redeem herself not long after. Daniel Sousa was going to die, killed by the Hydra sleeper cells he was trying to expose, but they didn’t have to let that happen. They wouldn’t let that happen if she had any say in it. She still couldn’t figure out why she felt so strongly about a man she had only interfaced with once but something was telling her she couldn’t just let this man die. So she didn’t.

___

Daniel Sousa was not having a good week. First Hydra, then his base is infiltrated, and now he’s been kidnapped. Except, it’s worse than a kidnapping really, because not only is he no longer in Los Angeles, he was no longer in 1953, and he was, apparently, no longer alive. Somehow Daniel Sousa, Agent of SHIELD and World War II veteran, had found himself in the 1970s without having aged a day. At least this new Future SHIELD still did fieldwork, he really needed the consistency.

He found himself paired up with the agent from his office who’s real identity he learned was Daisy Johnson. He wasn’t sure what it was about her, maybe the power she emanated or her bold attitude, but something drew him to her. Somehow, even with the looming threat of Hydra, he felt less worried with her by his side. Though, maybe it had something to do with her earthquake powers.

It wasn’t until the barn that he realized the true reasoning behind their inexplicable connection.

God, that barn. Daniel wasn’t sure if they’d ever make it out of that god-forsaken building alive. Sitting there listening to Agent Johnson be sliced apart was a torture in itself for him, though he knew his pain was nothing compared to the agony she was surely feeling if her screams were any indicator. She looked like she was on the verge of death when they deposited her back at his side.

“Stay with me,” he remembered begging. He remembered telling her about what happened to his leg. He remembered feeling like there wasn’t anything he wouldn’t do to make sure she made it out of there alive.

Then she lifted up her hand to show the piece of glass stuck under her skin and he realized why he felt so strongly about the woman lying in his lap. His own words, “Who the hell are you?” were tattooed along her wrist. There was no mistaking his handwriting and while all he wanted to do was replay their meeting back in his mind to find out if she had said his words, he knew he needed to keep his mind on task if he ever wanted a shot at this soulmates thing. So that’s what he did, he threw all of his strength, mind, and ability into getting them out of that terrible barn. It wasn’t until he was seated on the Zephyr with Daisy safe, sound, and healing in front of him that he let his mind wander to the possibilities.

___

Daisy wasn’t surprised that she wasn’t alone when she woke up, but she was surprised by her company. She had expected Jemma when she woke up in the med bay’s hospital bed with an IV in her arm, but instead she got Daniel Sousa, not that she was complaining. He looked equal parts relieved and nervous when she awoke though she couldn’t figure out why. He didn’t tell her either, though the nervousness remained throughout her recovery. Jemma informed him that he hadn’t left her side the entire time she was unconscious and her heart warmed at the fact. The sentimentality surprised her, she wasn’t one to grow attached so quickly but there was just something about Daniel Sousa. She didn’t find out what until she had been released from medical.

“Agent Johnson, I think we should talk,” he said in that calm but commanding way of his, though Daisy didn’t miss the nervousness in his voice and face.

She merely nodded, following him into the Zephyr’s kitchen. They sat across from each other at the table, Daisy starting up the coffee machine before sitting down.

“What is it, Agent Sousa?” She asked, a teasing smile on her face, “You look like you might vomit.”

“We’re soulmates,” he blurted before immediately cursing himself and Daisy froze in shock.

“Excuse me?” She finally spit out, subconsciously sliding her fingers over the words on her wrist.

She’d heard the words hundreds of times, surely it couldn’t be him.

“I didn’t realize until I saw my writing on your wrist in the barn, I-” he stopped suddenly, unsure of what to say next. He had dreamed about meeting his soulmate, but never had he thought it would go like this. In lieu of knowing what to say, he rolled up his sleeve instead, placing his wrist on the table with his soulmark on full display.

Daisy’s mind was screaming at her as she stared at the man’s wrist. The man was born decades before her, he was supposed to die before she was even born, and yet those were her words, in her handwriting, clearly displayed on his wrist.

“What the hell?” She heard herself mutter, though she didn’t feel like she was in control of her own body in that moment.

“I’m sorry,” Daniel panicked, interpreting her confusion for upset. “I shouldn’t have sprung this on you, especially so soon after recovery-” he rambled before Daisy cut him off by placing a gentle hand on his own that was still resting on the table.

“I’m not upset,” she reassured him, “I just- how is this possible?” She laughed slightly at her own question, soulmarks were an extremely unpredictable thing and even modern science didn’t have a good understanding of them, obviously the chain of events that brought them together were meant to happen.

“I don’t know,” Daniel smiled sadly, “But, as crazy as all this is, I’d like to give it a shot.”

Daisy smiled. She couldn’t help it even if she tried, the man sitting before her was so genuine and even if he wasn’t her soulmate she was sure she’d be feeling the same butterflies in her stomach.

“Me too,” she said softly and the butterflies only flapped harder at the smile that broke across his face.

“I’d like to take you on a date if any of this,” he gestured to the Zephyr and the commotion that came with it, “ever dies down.”

“I’d love that.”

[chikkou]

Will you talk more about Lisa?? Lisa the character specifically but also your feelings on his feelings about Buddy? I just thought your analysis was so good and I want to hear other thoughts you have on her.

yall are honestly spoiling me rn sdhkfdjfks this is like a dream come true 

i already got into the stuff with buddy in this ask here but i have a LOT to say about lisa and the connection between her and buddy so u better settle in!

ok so firstly ill start with lisa. i played the original lisa game (lisa the first) not long after it first dropped in 2012, and im not even kidding when i said it changed me LMAO.... seeing a story about a girl suffering is nothing new, but austin jorgensens approach to it was so fucking unique. you dont just witness it, you get to EXPERIENCE it right along with her. many stories that involve sexual abuse/rape show or otherwise depict it explicitly for the shock value, which is both disgusting and, in my opinion, extremely fucking exploitative. i feel that it is horrific to dignify an act so deeply evil with screentime. but lisa stood out to me immediately because, even though you know exactly whats going on, the game NEVER shows anything explicit. everything is layered in subtext and symbolism, and austin is fantastic with indirect storytelling, so you learn so much from just a little drop of information. this applies not just to the game proper, but to the character as well.

in case its not clear: i absolutely ADORE lisa. she is my favorite character in all of the games, bar none. its going to sound kind of fucked up, but as a kid around her age going through some fucked up shit, her committing suicide at the end felt like a sort of victory to me. she knew she could never escape from marty or what he was doing to her. he leaks into every single part of her psyche, everything she ever cared about or loved is ruined because of him, and even the vague memory of her mother is completely corrupted, and turned into a muddled version of him. lisa the first also had the added benefit of some religious commentary, as there are crosses all over their home and marty is characterized as an extremely religious man, which i fucking LOVE and wish had come back in the painful, but its an acceptable loss. anyway, lisa committing suicide at the end was an act of defiance against not just marty, but martys god, as suicide is considered a mortal sin in catholicism. lisa knew she’d never be free of marty in life, so she escaped the only way she could; she was defiant to the end.

ive seen people complain that the painful has a bit of a “lost lenore” thing going on, since lisas death seems to fuel the Manpain of both brad and buzzo, but i actually disagree. on the contrary, its just like austin himself said - lisa will never be gone. lisa is ALWAYS there, with brad, and buzzo, and buddy, and marty, and yado, and the ENTIRE FUCKING WORLD. i dont necessarily think that there is something paranormal going on in the game, but i AM going to say that, unlike other cases of a girl/woman dying for a mans backstory, lisa isnt just a bittersweet memory they can reflect on and then put away when its convenient for them. she is a presence that is felt throughout the entire game. brad sees her more than once, sometimes watching, sometimes reprimanding him. buzzo is clearly haunted by her, as he cries out to her a few times in the joyful. every character who was directly touched by lisa - brad, marty, and buzzo - calls out to lisa as they die. call it their guilt or call it her actions, but in either case, it is clear that lisa just as significant of a character in the painful as she was in the first, even if she cant always be seen. even in a meta-sense, every game in the series - even the joyful, whose protagonist doesnt even know who she is - is named after her. she is at the center of everything that happens in them. 

that actually brings me to buddy, because i find the dynamic between her and lisa fucking fascinating. as i previously mentioned, brad never talked about his past with buddy, and snaps at her for bringing up his adoptive son dusty (rando), so it goes without saying that she definitely doesnt know who lisa is. in spite of that, though, lisa is a fucking massive part of buddys life, and while she may not know the person herself, i think she is aware that when people (and brad especially) look at her, they arent seeing HER. 

i mentioned it in another post, but even though brad takes it upon himself to raise and “protect” buddy, he seems to almost unwittingly recreate lisas appearance, primarily by allowing her hair to grow long even though he knows what a risk that is to her safety. he also treats buddy in a manner thats incredibly similar to how marty treated lisa (sans sexual abuse, of course) - he insults her, does not let her leave the house at all, and forces her to do unsavory things that no one should ever have to do (in buddys case, this means killing at least two innocent people because brad doesnt want a “weak” daughter). the most literal comparison between buddy and lisa is the fact that they are both very young girls being essentially held captive by their father figures, albeit for different reasons, and both long for freedom from their captors. 

theres also the fact that both buddy and lisa have to deal with misogyny and the effects of rape culture firsthand; they both battle against men who feel entitled to do with them whatever they please, and the threat of ongoing sexual abuse looms heavy over both of their heads. neither one can seek help from anyone; the neighbors in brad and lisas town seem complacent at best, if they even know what is happening to lisa at all, and buddys only allies (sans rando) are long dead by the start of the joyful. this is not just a hypothetical or a distant possibility. this is the real, tangible fate that will befall them if they cant somehow secure their safety.

sadly, because lisa wasnt playable in either of the rpgs, we dont know if she was able to fight as brad was, but it is highly probable that she had the innate skill but was never able to learn it (as marty highly discouraged them from learning “their grandfathers karate,” and seemed disgusted whenever brad did so). however, she did have ONE weapon she could make use of, and this is a weapon buddy ends up using, as well - her femininity. she became close to bernard (aka buzzo), made him fall in love with her, and then used him as a last ditch effort to stop martys abuse by having him mutilate her face. im not saying lisa never cared about bernard - in fact, i think she DID really love and care for him - but her own fucked up experiences with “love” meant she really couldnt understand what it was supposed to be like, or that it was wrong to manipulate the people you care about. lisa did very few things wrong - it pretty much just stops at the maiming of the cat and her manipulation of bernard - but she knew that she would never get away from marty without some kind of drastic action being taken, and scarring herself was her last ditch effort before ultimately committing suicide.

buddy ends up taking a somewhat similar tack in the joyful, and like in lisas case, its simultaneously resourceful and horrific. one of buddys key moves in the joyful is to flash the enemy (which the player obviously doesnt see) in order to distract them long enough to get the kill. its fucking horrible and disgusting and makes you feel so dirty, but then, how must buddy feel having to do something like that just to survive? shes just a child, but in a world where almost every man is out to get you, she knows this has to be done to save herself, very much like lisa. unlike in lisas case, though, buddy is successful in securing her safety in this way - lisas effort is for naught, and leads to her committing suicide not very long after. 

in a way, i sort of attribute buddys brutality to lisas omnipresence; all of the men pursuing buddy are just like marty, monsters who would harm a fucking child for their own disgusting ends, and i think that when buzzo said that lisa wouldve loved olathe, what he means is that she would have loved seeing so many horrible men being punished for what theyd done. so in my opinion, buddy carving out a place for herself in olathe by killing all those who would subjugate her seems very much in the mentality lisa would have had. sure, there are some innocents who sadly get roped into it, but that would definitely not be her intention; for example, if buzzo could have practiced amputation without harming a living thing, i dont think lisa would have asked him to practice on the cat. note the LACK of brutality at the beehive and the swamp bar, two of the few peaceful places in the painful and both devoid of predatory men hunting for buddy - lisa has no qualm with any of them. but marty? brad could hardly even get a full sentence out before killing him on the spot. i dont doubt that that has a great deal to do with lisas presence. 

ok i talked for a while LMAO but basically i think that, in a more metatextual sense, lisa and buddys relationship really strikes me as an accurate depiction of generational trauma. of course it was intentional with the more obvious trauma chain (marty to brad to buddy), but the trauma chain of marty to lisa to buddy is rarely ever addressed due to lisa not physically appearing in the painful. however, i believe it may inform buddys actions a great deal more than people realize - after all, buddys experience is unique, but who could understand it better than lisa? who knows that sort of pain, of being alone on an island, the lone woman trapped with a man (or men) who want nothing more than to cause you harm? even without her realizing it, lisa is guiding buddy, encouraging her to take back what is hers no matter the cost, to punish those who would try to take what they want from her. lisa might be dead, but she is a vengeful presence throughout every game, and buddys actions feel like theyre meant not only to save herself, but to avenge lisa, even if she doesnt realize it. at the end of the day, buddy and lisa both get to exact revenge against all the men who have wronged them, and they succeed. they are aggressive, and violent, and selfish, and ANGRY - and they have every fucking right to be. 

[inkdemonapologist]

(So sorry for repeated asks) You've explored Sammy and Susie's relationship before, and I can easily imagine the crushing feeling of knowing you destroyed a good friendship for the good of an awful romance (I've watched this happen, alas :/). In your portrayal, Henry, Jack, and Susie are the only two people we've seen him remotely polite or honest to, and she's the only one he seemed genuinely sweet towards and comfortable with. Is this accurate? How does this affect him later?

(omg no I LOVE ALL UR ASKS, NO APOLOGIES NECESSARY these are always a delight, I am just quite slow and shy to answer xD IVE NEVER BEEN IN A FANDOM where people asked questions about my self-indulgent headcanons so this is a wild experience honestly xD)

Anyway at this point we've gone fully into headcanon territory I think!! I WAS ORIGINALLY GONNA ADD thoughts on how things would carry over to Escape AU but this post is already..... long..... so for now here’s just some headcanon thoughts on Sammy’s relationship with his closest coworkers!!

Susie and Sammy were for sure mutually impressed with each other but I don’t think Sammy was more comfortable with her than the others; I feel the tricky bit is the idea that being genuinely sweet towards = "being the most comfortable," rather than "doing his very best to present the most heteronormative response one would expect from someone with with positive feelings for a girl." I think Sammy is in general not a sweet person -- not to say that he can't be sweet, but that his most authentic expression of positive feelings is probably not going to look traditionally, sweetly romantic. I don't think the way he acted towards Susie was fake, exactly -- he really did like her a lot! But it was put on, trying to sustain her romantic feelings when he didn't share them.

I imagine Sammy and Henry were friends! Henry is a bit of a sheep in the way he lets people boss him around and apologises for others, but he's a sensible sheep who is good at his craft and Sammy respected him well enough. I think the two of them were kindred spirits as creators -- both kind of incapable of phoning it in or doing a half-effort job and horrifically overworked as a result. Joey's poor management skills were probably a point of like, mUTUAL FRUSTRATED BONDING -- until Henry left, and a confused Sammy had to reconcile the fact that he didn't have the guts to leave by deciding that he's just tougher than Henry, that he can take the demands of the industry that Henry couldn't.

Jack complements Sammy well and I kind of see him as the happy ending Sammy could have had if he'd not been so caught up with Joey and the Ink. Jack is grounding and cheerful, but -- crucially -- not in a grating or loud way, and evens out the intense music director. They both love music, respect each other’s work and value each other’s input. I do think it's telling that despite Sammy's reputation, Jack doesn't mind complaining about his music when he's not feeling it; I like the idea that he's quite comfortable with Sammy, one of the few people who isn't afraid of him, and Sammy in turn trusts Jack as someone who understands him better than most. Unfortunately, Jack's also a bit of a sheep who will put up with a lot of shit (literally), so Sammy kind of takes him for granted; he doesn't really open up to Jack so much as allow Jack to be closer than he allows most people.

(In comparison to the other two, I don’t think Sammy would see Susie as a sheep, at least not before the machine -- she may be naive, but she has a fierceness to her and isn't helpless. I like the idea that Sammy was genuinely taken with her strange combination of optimism and ruthless determination, and that this is one reason he found her so striking... and part of why being pushed to help Joey destroy her dreams really crushed Sammy, too, in a lot of ways).

I also feel like the person who might be missing from this list is, weirdly... Joey. Sammy’s seen him as an idealistic idiot from the beginning, but his worldview actually overlaps Sammy's a great deal, and they both must've appreciated having someone they could be open with in that way; unlike Henry, Sammy wouldn't have been put off by Joey's idea that some people are clueless actors who need to be given direction by the man with the vision -- Sammy agrees with that, he calls those people "sheep," and he's more blunt about it than Joey. Joey's excited to find both talent and ruthlessness in Sammy and would immediately treat him as Special, a Favourite who’s a cut above the rest; for all his cynicism Sammy is desperate for validation and would fall hard for Joey’s praise. Add to that the fact that Joey desired him without Sammy ever having to admit his own feelings and their initial relationship must've been, well, a dream come true. It’d quickly become apparent that Joey can’t follow through on most of his promises, but unfortunately, once Sammy is in with anyone he has a tough time backing out; ironically, he fits into his own “sheep” category quite neatly.

[joculatrixster]

Jesus fucking Christ : Feminine men are allowed to be Head-Canon ( ed ) as Trans, it's literally not going to fucking kill anyone. Cis men are constantly praised for being "Feminine." When Trans-Men do it? We're called "Fakers and trenders" and told "We're not Trans enough." Besides. The "Feminine Trans-Man" Trope was started by Cis people to begin with. LMAO. Don't be mad at Trans-Men/Mascs for it; it's not our fucking fault. It's not going to be the end of the world if you let us have this one. I promise. <3

u don't seem, to understand so let me break it down for u since ur assuming a lot lmao

the issue isnt "trans ppl like to hc feminine men r trans i hate trans ppl why didn't they follow gender normas" the issuse is "we as a wider fandom tend to hc feminine men as trans or nonbinary that's an issue because assuming someone gnc is instantly trans shows u belive if ur gnc then u can rlly be that gender there has to be some fluidity or ur rlly not the gender u say u r. cis men get to wear dresses and makeup and assuming they have to be trans or nonbinary itas disrespectful. women can wear a suit without being called men, men can wear a dress and have long hair without being called women/or nonbinary, if u assume trans ppl have to be visibly trans or gnc thats a problem"

anon as an afab non-transtioned he/they it pisses me off! as someone w/ trans women AND trans men friends some of which r fem presenting it also makes them uncomfortable! stop assuming everyone is ok w/ things UR ok w/ and perhaps instead of assuming ill will on my part ask what the fuck im talking about. because a man shouldn't have to wear pants and have short hair to have his pronouns respected. i get ur response based off trauma and yeah i understand how my hard take iun a vaccum could be seen as malicious but i don't CARE if U hc him as trans i care that that's something ive seen ppl COMPLAIN he's MALE and wish he was FEMALE based off ONLY design so seeing ppl hc hes nonbinary or a trans man is weird as fuck because to ME that tells me they think a feminine man must be trans leaning into the STEREOTYPE that trans men r just women pretending to be men and that "its easy to spot trans people because they can never pass"

the same shit happened w/ aloe and ppl back then called it out too assuming aloe had to be trans or nonbinary cause she was a gnc woman. its not an attack on fem trans men if uve followed me for a whole or even tried for a SECODNa to vet my acc ud know i feel the same way for both genders, if i saw posts saying cacao must be trnas on mass i wouldn't say shit but its ALWAYS the gnc cookies thinks bout that ty bye

[mousehole5000]

 this is it... the final post.... 226 through THE END!!!!!

this shit with mu qing and the river of lava is SOOOO dramatic im loving it

oh my god theyre on a FUCKING bridge of course they are okay let’s go boys

“You’re right. We’re alike. You think me odd, I think you to be rather weird too.” - so what im getting from this is that xie lian and mu qing are the only characters in this book with working gaydar okay yup got it this checks out

god... the fact that xie lian is ready to be like “look mu qing we can just forget about the past it doesnt matter we dont have to be friends i know you dont like me but im not gonna let you die over it” and then mu qing is like “.... god i really do admire you huh”

“You...certainly...are rather amazing. You’re...also...a better person...than me. Long story short, I...very much wanted...to become your f-f-friend.”  - going to think about this for the rest of all time im about to become utterly unintelligible im overcome with emotions

“And, at the end of the white silk band, Feng Xin was gripping Ruoye with one hand while the other was holding on to a steel-faced Mu Qing, and he shouted towards him.” - the fucking IMAGE of this im gonna cry this is everything i could have asked for im so happy also mu qing dangling there like “ welp. guess ill live“

“Feng Xin was almost burnt by that pillar of fire, and he shouted in outrage. “WHAT’S WITH THIS BAND OF DOG SHITS, ATTACKING PEOPLE WHILE THEY’RE DOWN, SO VILE! FUCK YOUR ENTIRE FAMILY!” Xie Lian responded, “IF THEIR ENTIRE FAMILIES ALL LOOK LIKE THAT, YOU SURE YOU WANT TO FUCK THEM??” - theyre so funny!!! and theyre best friends!!! theyre joking together now in the middle of all this i could cry theyre back!!!

“Using sticks as arrows, he held the bow with one hand and used his teeth to bite back the bowstring.” - no clue how practical this is but okay archer boy. hot

i actually have so many little quips between the three of them highlighted but we’d be here all night if i included them all. im literally so delighted by this omg worth the wait

“Each sabre strike slashed to the bone. It wasn’t like Xie Lian had never seen Hua Cheng use the sabre before in the past, but his style had always been easy and leisurely, nonchalant and casual. Rather than say he was handling a weapon, it was more like he was toying with a small knife. Yet those blade marks were filled with killing intent. It was easy to imagine just how skilled the one exchanging blows with him was, and how perilous this battle.” you have no idea how mad i was when i read this and thought we missed witnessing the fight between hc and jw omg

“Behind him, Feng Xin muttered, “Dear fucking god, may all the gods and buddhas grant their blessings, that better absolutely be Crimson Rain Sought Flower, otherwise he’s gonna go mad!” “Stop your rubbish,” Mu Qing berated. “We’re all the gods and buddhas ourselves and we can’t grant shit, just keep up with him! Look at the stumbling way he’s running, he’s gonna trip and fall to his bloody death before he even sees the man!” - okay i know i said no more quips but this is literally too funny i just wanted to read it again

“ However, for whatever reason, that vicious ghost, in its muddled state, took that large group of live mortals under its wing and fled for many days. In the end, they were still surrounded by millions of ghosts, trapped in a dead end, and it was going to be eaten along with those humans.” [...] “That vicious ghost almost made a move against those humans, but for some reason, in the end, it didn’t. It instead used one of its own eyes as the price to forge a blood weapon. That vicious ghost was already forcibly hanging on with its last breath; after digging out its eye it should’ve broken apart completely. Yet somehow something had shocked it, and it instead woke to its senses completely. “ - THIS IS AMAZING ARE YOU KIDDING ME???? IS THIS ALL WE GET ABOUT HIS GHOSTLY LORE?????? HUA CHENGGGGGGGG

“What a terrible offence, his old habit had come out, and he quickly apologized. “I’m sorry! You don’t have to listen to me!” Hua Cheng, however, only smiled happily. “Everything gege tells me is the best advice, so why wouldn’t I listen?” - this isnt the fucking time afjdkfjsdkl they really never stop

“So you can hold the illusion of a perfect Crown Prince of Wuyong to face and dismiss the Jun Wu now. Isn’t that your objective? Did you think I don’t know what you’re thinking?” “THAT’S NOT IT!” Guoshi cried. “Stop getting tied up in right and wrong, victories and defeat, I’VE NEVER THOUGHT THAT WAY BEFORE!” - jun wu only being able to see xie lian as his successor and believing that thats all anyone else sees too... okay

honestly this whole final showdown was a blast i cant put everything in but it was so much fun to read. the DRAMA the LAVA the SHOUTING t

“Hua Cheng had poured too much spiritual power into him. There really was too much, so much that it was completely outside the amount the cursed shackle could withstand.” - okay.... okay... the love you give will set you free... okay....

“With Jun Wu in his grip, he carried both their bodies and forcefully slammed into the incomparably-solid rock wall! He used all of his power in this smash, and in the rumbling and crashing of rocks, he also heard the sound of something breaking.” [...] “A moment later, Jun Wu suddenly asked, “That move. What is it called?” “...” Xie Lian raised his sleeve and wiped away the blood on the side of his face. “Shattering boulders on the chest.” YES!!!!! YES!!!!! xie lian actually lived that life!!!!!! i loved this detail so much

“After a moment of silence, Xie Lian took off the bamboo hat carried on his back, took it in his hand, and covered it over Jun Wu’s face.” - xie lian... good... another detail i love. a hat that protects from the rain, given in a moment of need, even to someone who has caused you hardship... we do not forget the kindness granted to us

“There was gratefulness, there was shame, there was heartache, there was wild joy, but above all else, there was incurable love.” - :pleading: i wish it was just that easy tbh. “i have to tell you about the worst parts of myself” “ive already seen them and i dont care i still love you“ truly the dream

“ It’s been so long since anyone listened to me talk, won’t you stay? Don’t...actually do this. I won’t be able to take it. Twice, it’s been twice already! I really don’t want there to be a third time!!!” - the bit about just wanting someone to listen to him talk... xie lian... :(

emily corpse bride moment.... i knew it had to happen.... butterflies.... death and rebirth.... inevitable

xianle trio bickering about ruoye..... mu qing complaining but not letting anyone else fix it... im so happy

“The Rain Master sat down on the spot, looking like she was going to perform a passing service for her. After all, Xuan Ji was the only one left of the Kingdom of Yushi besides herself.”  - xuan ji you sure the hell were... a character. this little moment tho..... yushi huang... many thoughts

“ Who hasn’t made promises, or swore to the mountains and the seas when they were young? Talking of affection, of love, of forevers. But, the longer I hang around in the world, the more I understand, something like ‘forever’ is impossible. It’s never going to be possible. Having it once was already good enough. No one can truly achieve it. I don’t believe in it anymore.” - jian lan im happy for you bummer it didnt work out with feng xin but yeah that was looooong ago. also this quote me same mood kin but its chill. having it once was already good enough

although yeah tbh if theres anyone who can have a forever like that... it would be a ghost and a god

fasdfjadklfj GOD... pour one out for ling wen.. but is that not the truth of this world? the one can be pardoned for being good at paperwork that no one else wants to do? isnt that the plot of the shawshank redemption?

okay but the fact that all xie lian’s friends come to visit him while he waits for hua cheng is making me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.... fengqing coming together to try to get him out of the house but get scared off by his cooking... amazing

“Last time, they spent eight hundred years running towards each other. This time, it only took an instant to fall into each other’s embrace.” - im completely unaffected by this. im not lying i swear (i am lying im very emotionally affected)

okay i love this final wrap up chapter party its so fun. mu qing moving on from the broom thing!!! good for him!! the beggars get their reward!!! the fun ghost city chefs!! SQX!!!! and he xuan is?? here too??? he’s hungry??? fjadlkfjsdl

“The grounds that Feng Xin and Mu Qing had just swept were once again filthy from that giant crowd of muddy feet. Mu Qing gripped his broom, looking like he felt someone had infected him with fleas, and his eyes were wide.” - me when my dad comes into the kitchen when ive just finished washing dishes i get it king

the little folklore bit... fun!!! oh my god its over..... :(

that was really fun i had a blast reading it and on the whole really liked it i WISH soo badly that hua cheng had gotten more outside of being cunty and devoted even tho those are both important i just wish there was more about like how he got by during those 800 years and like did he ever have doubts? what shaped his worldview was it all xie lian or was it his experience as a mortal as well? why is he so mean to e’ming? theres bits and pieces here and there and i know it was already SO long but that really would have been great if there was more about hc cuz tbh by the end, at least for me, the hualian relationship didnt actually feel as fleshed out as the xianle trio relationship like i still liked hualian’s dynamic and it was really sweet how much they clearly really liked each other and  everything but i kind of wish some of the other subplots had been dropped or diminished in favor of more hc development i think that would have been cool

but anyway thats some of my thoughts and i really did enjoy the hell out of book 5 that was a riot and uhhh thanks to everyone who read these or commented *lends you spiritual energy through a high five*

[captainscanadian]

Better | Bucky Barnes x Reader (Part 6)

My Masterlist

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5

Summary: Bucky Barnes is ready to fix the mess that your parents had created, but he doesn’t want you to know about it.

Word Count: 7076

Pairing: Doctor!Bucky x Doctor!Reader, Doctor!Bucky x Doctor!Steve (Platonic), Doctor!Steve x Lawyer!Peggy

Warnings: Swearing, Mentions of Abuse & Alcoholism, Surgery, Organ Donation, IV & Needles, Emotional Distress, Physical Pain, Drugs, Hospital Stay, Homelessness, Mentions of Death & Cancer

A/N: Recently a lot of people have been asking me if Bucky can murder the reader’s parents. As much as I understand your strong hatred towards them, the answer is no. Sorry not worry. This one’s dedicated to Naynay for being the reason why I started posting all of my crappy writing on here. <3 Pic & gif are not mine, credits to the respective owners!

It was only a matter of time before Dr. James Barnes had been paged down to the Emergency Room for a consult. A patient had come in complaining of chest pain and shortness of breath. This eventually led him into the OR to repair the woman’s dissecting aorta, a surgery that typically lasted a few hours with no complications. It was a procedure that he had performed many times before. He need not fret over it, despite it being an emergency procedure than a pre-planned one like the one this morning. Perhaps, it was the unpredictable nature of heart surgery that had been so attractive to him. He could not deny that he liked the adrenaline rush that came with literally racing death itself and beating it fair and square.

By the time he had gotten out of surgery, it was way past lunchtime and Bucky was starving. After getting Shuri to inform the patient’s family about the patient’s current status, he found himself grabbing a salad from the hospital’s cafeteria and retreating to the doctors’ lounge for some rest before he was to get hit by the next cardiovascular crisis at hand. The unexpected circumstances that came with the job were perfect for a guy who had once wanted no commitments. But now to say that his attitude had changed would be quite the understatement. Nevertheless, Bucky sucked it up and went about his day like any other surgeon in the hospital.

While a part of him was feeling uneasy, thanks to the escalation of things that he had returned to, he knew that all he had to do was push through it all until his shift would finally be over. But he was unsure what to do next. He wondered if he should go back down to the post-op ward and see you. As much as he wanted to return to his place at your bedside, a part of him was hesitant. He was unsure about whether you would want him there, especially after what had happened with your mother coming to see you. He did not want to risk being shooed away by you.

After all, it made him wonder if you could not even trust your own mother, how you could be able to trust anyone else. All of a sudden, your hesitance to become close to anyone in the hospital made sense to him. After all, your mother had been the source of all of your trust issues. And as much as he was willing to accept that you might never ever trust him and let him into your life, he could not deny that it would hurt like a bitch either way. He was not ready to put himself through that, at least not yet.

“Steve, you’re still here.” Bucky noted upon seeing his best friend lying down on the sofa once he entered the lounge. “Your shift ended hours ago. Why haven’t gone home, you punk? You’re one of the only ones who actually have a life outside of the hospital. Why are you even here right now?”

Sleepily flipping through the channels of the television to find something decent to watch, Steve looked up to see his best friend and gave him a weak smile. “I wasn’t planning on going anywhere, Buck, not after what happened to Y/L/N. Being her emergency contact is a huge responsibility and I feel like I should stick around, you know, just in case... I don’t want any her to have any other complications.” He told him with a sigh and a shrug of his shoulders, sitting up to face his best friend who sat down in front of him.

“How is she?” He asked, biting down on his bottom lip as he picked at his salad for a moment.

“She’s... awake, talking. No further complications, no infections. She’s in a bit of pain but she’s a little hesitant about the amount of drugs she puts in her body. Nat redid the sutures herself and closed her up so they’re all... still in place. Wanda’s sitting at her bedside to make sure she doesn’t move at all, just to keep them still intact. Thor’s watching the door to make sure no one comes in or leaves without being noticed.” He explained. “She’ll be fine, Buck. She’s... recovering.”

Nodding as he bit down on his bottom lip once more, the dark haired doctor continued to pick at his salad. “You should go home, Steve. I’ll be here and... I’ll call you if anything happens. Just go home, get some sleep. You haven’t even seen Sarah in two days. At least, spend the night at home for her and come back in the morning.”

“No, Buck, it’s fine... I don’t mind sticking around the hospital for a few more hours. I’m way too sleepy. It’s definitely not safe for me to be driving home on my own and Peggy had a meeting at the firm this afternoon. She said she won’t be back until she’s picked Sarah up from daycare, so I’m just hanging out here, waiting for my girls.”

A soft chuckle escaped Bucky’s lips as he finally took a bite of his salad, leaning back in his seat and putting his feet up against the coffee table. “You’ve really got your shit figured out, Steve. Work-life balance, marriage and kids...” This was true. Compared to him, his best friend really did have his whole life figured out. The two of them had always been competitive despite being best friends since childhood. From the SATs to their undergraduate years to the MCATs to Columbia Medical School, even their surgical residencies thereafter, Bucky and Steve had always come in neck and neck at the top of their classes. But when it came to family life though, it seemed like Steve was already way ahead of Bucky.

“You know, you could have that too if you really wanted to.” Steve reminded him, a sigh escaping his lips as he fidgeted with the remote in his hand. “If you’re willing to commit and sacrifice being a complete workaholic to make time for a wife and kids, you could...” He was not an idiot. He knew that Bucky wanted the kind of life that he had with Peggy, even if he had denied it countless times before. He could not help but want that for his best friend too. After all, he knew that not only did Bucky want to settle down and have family, but that a part of him also wanted it all with you.

And knowing of your past, Steve wanted that for you too. He knew that you deserved to be unconditionally loved by someone, for you had not experienced unconditional love ever before. He wanted that for you because he understood how much Bucky loved you. If only things did work out in your favor and the two of you finally accepted your feelings for each other. Steve can only hope or sit back and watch, for he was certainly not a meddler of things.

The dark haired doctor let out a sigh before shaking his head, taking another bite of his salad and trying to ignore Steve’s words. “Yeah, well... that’s not what I want.” He lied, even though a part of him knew that the other could see right through his bullshit. “I mean, I do love her but... I don’t think she’d ever love me back, Steve. I know for a fact that she won’t ever accept me. So if it’s not her, then it won’t be anyone else.”

Before Steve could even say anything in response to that, the door burst open with a rather annoyed Peggy Carter entering the doctor’s lounge. “I got your text, darling, and I must admit that I’m not surprised at all.” She announced, plopping down on the sofa next to her husband. “Hello, Barnes.”

“Peggy.” He gave her a nod, continuing to pick at his salad before taking another bite.

“Where’s Sarah?”

“Her cousin Sharon wanted to get her some lunch. She had just woken up from a nap when I picked her up from daycare. Seemed a little cranky because she was hungry.” The woman replied with a shrug. “And I didn’t think she should be here when we’re talking about this, you know? Sharon said she’ll bring her back in an hour or so. Gives us enough time to talk, you know?”

Bucky grew confused at her words and raised his eyebrows at Steve. “Talking about what?”

Peggy turned around to look at Steve. “Have you told him yet, Steve? Because he sure does look too calm to know what happened.”  

Steve let out a sigh as he rubbed his eyes. “I’m way too tired to deal with how he would react so I thought I’d wait until you were here. You’re better at breaking this kind of bad news than I am.” This was partially true. Being a doctor, a cardiothoracic surgeon at that, Dr. Rogers had certainly been trained on how to deliver bad news to his patients. Most of the time, such bad news included the unforeseeable factors: the patient’s condition receding beyond the surgeon’s control, surgical complications and even death.

But with what Steve was forced to deal with at that moment, though certainly not as bad as patient death, it was Peggy who was much more equipped to deal with such dilemmas. She was a Cambridge-educated attorney who happened to work at one of the most reputable law firms in New York. She was certainly used to dealing with extortion cases, not to mention that you had also approached her for legal advice on becoming an organ donor to your abusive father.

“What the hell is going on?” Bucky asked as he sat up on the sofa and set down his food, turning over to look at his best friend’s wife. “Peggy, what is it?”

Peggy let out a sigh as she sat back in her seat. “I’ll tell you but I want you to promise me that you won’t go off on a complete fit of rage or do anything absolutely stupid.”

He let out a sigh as he ran his hand through his hair. “If this has something to do with Y/N, then I'm not making any promises I know I can't keep.” He told her before turning to Steve. “Did she tell you something? Did she... tell you what happened with her mother?”

Steve bit down on his bottom lip before leaning forwards in his seat. “Her mother... told her that her decision to come forward and donate her liver to her father lead to... them having hundreds of thousands of dollars in medical bills. And now she’s emotionally blackmailing Y/L/N to pay for them because they couldn’t afford the surgery.”

To say that Bucky was completely unsurprised by this revelation would be an understatement. After all, this had exactly been his suspicion ever since he had found out about your parents coming down to Brooklyn Hospital in the first place. They had not come searching for better medical treatment from Dr. Romanoff. They had come in search of a way to extort money from you. But finding out that your mother’s attempt at extortion was the reason behind you bleeding out like that only made the man feel angrier at your parents. But he did not show it. “I mean, I saw that coming.” He said with a shrug, returning to his salad.

His calm and composed reaction made Steve and Peggy turn to look at each other for a moment.

“What?” Steve asked, blankly.

“I got suspicious.” Bucky replied with a shrug of his shoulders. “When Y/N told me that her formerly abusive slash estranged father was admitted here, I was... a little surprised. I knew she was from this small town near Philadelphia so, how in the world did they manage to get all the way to Brooklyn, let alone at the hospital where their daughter worked? I mean, it all did seem like a coincidence but... I didn’t think that there was any way that they did not know... that their daughter worked there. I... had no reason to trust her parents, right? And I was... right. I mean, they tracked her down... they came here... and I don’t think a liver transplant was what they came looking for. I think they came here to tie Y/N down... emotionally... and try to get money from her to pay for the outstanding medical bills that they have in Philly. But their plan didn’t work. Y/N volunteered to get tested because she... has a heart. She cared about doing the right thing and being the better person. She cares... about... everyone but herself, even her abusive parents. When Y/N volunteered to get tested, do you remember what happened, Steve? Her mother wouldn’t even accept it at first, because she knew that the surgery would mean more medical bills and they weren’t financially stable. She’d just lost her job and they don’t have insurance. Y/N had to get Romanoff to explain how long they would have to wait until UNOS found him a match just so that she would agree. This has been their motive all along... to get money from her. Because they... went bankrupt when Y/N was a little kid and the mom had to work as a maid to keep things going, dad drank away all of their money and now that mom doesn’t have a job anymore, hey... look, the child we abused who ran away from us is working as a doctor in New York and making six figures so why don’t we just go over there and do what we always did best... emotionally abuse her and get her to pay us a large amount?” He could not help but roll his eyes, huffing as he leaned back in his seat. “Fucking pieces of shit, they are...”

Peggy Carter’s eyes grew so wide at Bucky’s speech that Steve almost feared that they might have popped right out of her skull. “Holy shit, Barnes.” She covered her mouth as her jaw dropped. As a mother to a little girl herself, she could not understand how anyone could put their own child in such a situation. To say that she was disgusted by your parents would be an understatement. She was beyond glad that you had managed to break free from their abuse when you did, but the fact that they were still very a part of your life at that moment pissed her off. She needed to find a solution to all of this and make sure that they never bothered you again.

“How do you know all of this?” Steve asked. “How do you know about them going bankrupt when she was a kid and that she ran away from their abuse?” After all, he was well aware that you had not disclosed these events of your past to anyone but him and his wife. He knew of your circumstances with your parents, because he was your emergency contact. You had told Peggy in case there was a legal dilemma to your decision. You wanted to ensure that the fact that you had reported their abuse all those years ago did not get in the way of you donating your liver now. But how did Bucky know all of this? Steve had no idea.

“Yeah, the whole ‘outstanding medical bills in Philly’ thing is news to the both of us.” She agreed, looking at her husband before turning over to his best friend. “I don’t think she intended to tell anyone about this, not even to Steve and I. And... as much as I would like to believe that she trusted you enough to tell you any of this, I think she would have at least told us that you were also aware of her past. But we know Y/N and she wouldn’t have just told you any of this that easily. So, let’s just cut to the chase... What did you do, Bucky?”

The blonde haired doctor’s eyes grew wide as he realized the change of tone in his wife’s voice, for he knew that this was the tone she often used in court. “Bucky... please don’t tell me that you...” A part of him did know what his friend might have done, but he still refused to believe it until he admitted it himself.

“I got Becca to look into her parents.” He confessed.

“Bucky!”

“Are you insane?!” The hospital’s in-house attorney exclaimed, her British accent rolling off of her tongue with such ease and poise despite the fact that she was fuming at the man’s actions. “You fucking hired a PI to look into a patient?! Do you even realize how many potential lawsuits could possibly come out of that?”

“You violated Y/N’s privacy, Buck!” Dr. Rogers added, shaking his head in a slight disappointment. “How do think she’d feel if she ever found out what you’ve done? She’s already got a lot of trust issues and you’re not making this any easier for yourself!”

“I mean, I had to do what I had to do!” The dark haired doctor defended himself. “I get it, Steve. I violated her privacy by hiring Becca to look into her parents and her abusive childhood with them. Sure, she might hate me for it. I don’t care. I only did it because I care about her, Steve. I knew that something wasn’t right when her parents showed up at the hospital. As much as I wasn’t okay with her donating her liver, I respected her decision and her bodily autonomy. She had the right to do whatever the fuck she wanted and I had no say in that whatsoever. But that did not stop me from being suspicious about her parents. I mean, I couldn’t ask her because she wouldn’t tell me. I knew that you knew a lot more about her past than any of us, Steve. Of course, she tells you everything. But is she going to tell me if I asked? Not even a chance. And are you going to tell me if I asked you what was up with her and her parents? Also no, because you’re the most righteous human being on this entire fucking planet who cares about honor and all that bullshit and you trained your God damn fellow to be just as honorable and righteous and follow in your footsteps... which has now cost her a piece of her liver and a whole lot of blood.” Bucky paused to take a breath before turning over to Peggy. “And of course, you knew everything too, Peggy. Y/N told me that she came to you for legal advice, just in case. But I also knew not to ask you either, because you would have given me a whole lecture about attorney-client privilege and I saved us all a hell of lot of time by just going ahead and hiring Becca to do the work for me.”

Steve let out a sigh as he stood up from his seat. “I need a cup of coffee.” He announced as he walked over to the kitchenette and started to make himself a cup.

“Can you also make me a cup of tea, please darling?” Peggy asked Steve as she rubbed her temples, her eyes not leaving Bucky’s. “You’re insane, Barnes. You’re absolutely insane and you know that. And to even call you the godfather of my child, good lord, what have we done? You’ll be such a terrible influence on her when she’s older, I’m sure of it.”

Dr. Barnes finished the last of his salad and nodded, chuckling softly at her remark. “I know, Peggy. They say that love makes you crazy... and I’ve been doing some pretty crazy things lately. I won’t even deny it.” This was true. After all, Bucky had been doing more than just sit at your bedside while you were asleep. A week after he had found out about your make shift clinic at the homeless shelter, he had made an anonymous donation of a million dollars to the shelter in hopes that a part of it would be able to fund your cause. And for the next two years, he would go on to do much crazier things when it came to you.

Whether it was buying an extra cup of coffee every morning and bringing it over to you just to see you give him a sleepy smile in gratitude, or waiting for you to get out of surgery every other night and lying about a late night craving for Indian food just so that he could give you a ride home, there were certain things that he had started to do that would make anyone think he was crazy. But to him, it was all a part of him trying to become a better person, because you had made him want to be a better person.

Even last year, he had startled the entire surgical department meeting by suggesting a fundraising gala to help raise money to increase the number of pro bono surgeries that were being performed at the hospital. Chief Stark had been surprised that Dr. Barnes had been the one to even make that suggestion; his bet would have been on Rogers. But without much debate, the gala had been approved by the hospital’s board of directors. Tony had put Bucky in charge of throwing the ball itself, which the man had surprisingly managed to pull off.

James Barnes had made yet another generous donation to his own cause this time, while also convincing his three sisters in helping him organize the event so that others could also take part in the act of giving back. He had approached his retired parents in hopes that their contacts could help him find more sponsors. And thanks to you, he had hired the lovely Indian couple who owned the restaurant you had been living above to cater the event. The rest of the event had been paid by him, with some of the doctors also pitching in.

It had been a rare occurrence for Dr. James Barnes to take part is such formal events, so there was no denying that his attempts at organizing one and showing up at that was quite refreshing to see. He had donned a designer tuxedo, his luscious long hair coiffed into a neat bun. He looked prim and proper, to say the least.

But if one had observed him rather closely that night, they would have noticed that his bright blue eyes were constantly darting towards the entrance throughout the whole event. Even when he had taken to the stage to make a speech and had commanded the attention of an entire banquet hall, no one had noticed how his gaze was constantly wandering towards the double doors that led his guests inside. Perhaps no one except Wanda Maximoff was able to figure out that this entire event had been Bucky Barnes’ attempt at channelling his inner Jay Gatsby.

The bottles of champagne had been popped, poured into flutes and emptied long before, dinner and dessert served promptly thereafter. It was not until after the DJ had opened up the dance floor did James finally receive the long-awaited arrival of the woman he loved. And in an instant, his lips curled into a smile at the sight of you in your silver-grey evening gown. He knew that the shimmer and sequins were very unlike you, but he appreciated the effort you had taken to follow the dress code.

As you noticed the host of the evening upon your entrance and made your way towards the dance floor to greet him, you could not help but notice that he cleaned up quite well, in his tuxedo and his hair in a bun. Oh how attractive he looked in that bun, you could not deny it. You rarely saw him put his hair up, except for that one time when he had showed up to a consult with his hair tied up with a Hello Kitty hair-tie a while back.

You felt your cheeks heat up at the thought of how handsome he looked that evening and you quickly shooed away your thoughts, walking up to him with a bright smile. “James, hey... I’m so sorry I’m late. I didn’t mean to miss the dinner and half of the party. I had a last minute consult at the ER and I had to do an Endarterectomy. It took longer than expected and by the time I got home, showered and got ready... it took me a while. I’m sorry.”

“Hey.” His smile was genuine and one that brought you a sense of calm. “Hey, it’s okay. I get it, things like that are not always in our hands. I wasn’t even sure if you’d show up, to be honest. I know that... social events like these are not really your thing. At least I’m glad you decided to spend the rest of your evening here instead of being cooped up in your little clinic. It means a lot, doll, really... thank you for being here.” He bit down on his bottom lip rather nervously as he leaned in to place a gentle kiss on your cheek. It was an act of politeness to say the least, a sign of gratitude that you had even bothered to show up late than never, even though you did have an excuse to not be there.

You felt your cheeks heat up once more, a sense of warmth in your heart as you felt his lips against your cheek. There was something gentle about the way his warm breath lingered against your skin, but you quickly looked down to hide the blush. You could not help but grin widely at his understanding nature and you looked around the ball room.

It seemed as though a majority of the guests had already left. The DJ had been playing a slow song and naturally, Steve and Peggy were at the center of the dance floor. You must have heard a thousand times during your bi-weekly dinners with the Rogers’ of the story of their first date and their first dance. Even after years of being married, the two of them still looked so in love. You could not help but want that for yourself. But you felt slightly greedy for it. After all, you had always believed that you did not deserve to be loved by anyone.

The blonde haired doctor noticed your gaze on him and gave you a wave, his wife still leant against his shoulder as they swayed along to the song. You chuckled, shooting him a quick thumbs up before turning to James. “Looks like you’ve really pulled this off, Dr. Barnes.” You noted, seeing that the gala had been quite the success. “I must say that I’m impressed.”

“I couldn’t have done it without your help though, doll, thanks to you and your undying loyalty to the Singh’s.” He politely remarked. “The food’s a big hit- hey; have you even had a chance to eat anything since you got out of your surgery?” It had taken Bucky a moment to realize that it was way past dinner time and knowing you and the way you had rushed to get here after your surgery, you might not have eaten.

“Um... no.” You shook your head.

“Come on, let’s get you in the kitchen and grab you some of that delicious food.” It had been a rather impulsive move on his part, when he had just casually grabbed your hand and lead you away from the dance floor.

You had been caught off guard by his actions but you paid no heed to them anyways. You had assumed that it was just his way of being a host, making sure that all of his guests were well fed and taken care of. After all, you had paid for your ticket to attend this gala and he probably just wanted to give you your money’s worth. You would not have imagined that his actions were a sign of his undying love for you.

He walked out of the ball room before turning down the hallway to where the kitchen was, complimenting and thanking a few of the wait staff along the way before entering the kitchen.

You stood at the door, watching as he made his way over to the head chef who was also your landlord. He really was a wonder of a man, you thought. How thoughtful and kind had he really been, for as long as you’ve known him? To think that the two of you had managed to not get along in the OR at some point seemed to surprise you. But that fall out had only made the two of you become the closer. There was no denying that.

After asking the woman to fix you a plate of food, he walked back to you with a cheeky grin on his face. “I told them to set aside your plate in case you showed up. They’ll just reheat it in a moment.”

You could not help but let out a chuckle at that, raising an eyebrow nevertheless. “How did you know that I would even show up though, James?” You asked, curiously. “After all, I do have a tendency to make plans at first and bail on people.”

“I just had a little faith that you would be here... considering that it’s for a good cause and you’re not the kind of person who turns away from doing something to give back.” He replied, grinning widely as he realized that he really did know you well. “Plus, you did pay for the food, the champagne and a little dancing. As a responsible host, I wanted to make sure you did get your money’s worth.”

You rolled your eyes playfully as you walked past him to enter the kitchen, greeting the lovely Indian chef with a hug before taking the plate from her. “Well... since I’ve got my food here now, where’s my champagne?”

As the banquet was wrapping up, Bucky had excused himself to check on the clean up. The red carpet had been rolled up, the table linens piled up and the chairs stacked neatly on top of one another. The DJ had taken down the speakers and loaded up his equipment in his van, the cleaning staff was busy sweeping the confetti off the hard wooden floor.

You found yourself wafting down your plate of food in the kitchen while the staff got busy with doing the dishes. Chatting away with the lovely Indian woman who continued to pile up the remainder of the food onto your plate, you managed to eat until you were full. You did not realize how hungry you had been until you had eaten second and third helpings of the Singh’s signature biryani, but you were grateful to the woman for wanting to feed you well. After all, this was the closest experience you had to a mother’s love.

James had not returned until an hour later, having sent off the last of his guests home before dealing with the payments for the DJ and the linen rentals. He let Rebecca take care of the rest before excusing himself for the night, grabbing the last remaining bottle of champagne from the fridge before making his way over to you. “Sorry that took a while, doll.” He told you as he chuckled, holding up the bottle. “But I got what you asked for...” He could not help but notice the aluminum tray of food that you were holding and he raised his eyebrow at you.

“What? I had three plates of food but there was still some left over. There was no way I was going to let some good biryani go into the trash. Plus, I figured that you wouldn’t have had a chance to eat anything either, being a good host and all. So, what do you say, we get out of here and find ourselves a really nice late night view of the bridge and... have a little picnic?” You wiggled your eyebrows at him before letting out a laugh.

“I... think I’d like that.”

Bucky was taken by surprise that you had even made this suggestion, but it was not very unlikely of you to be concerned about wasting food or watching someone else go hungry either. Having left the venue of the banquet together, the two of you somehow managed to end up on the roof of your loft home somehow. You had been the one to suggest it though, for you wanted him to see the view from up there.

It was a mid-August night, the air was breezy. You kicked off your heels and sat down on the concrete step as you looked up at the stars. The night was quiet, even though there was the occasional laughter of passerby’s walking past the restaurant that stirred up the silence every now and then.

He had taken off his coat and wrapped it over your shoulder, in case you got cold, a plastic fork in his hand that was picking through the aluminum tray as he ate the food that you had packed up for him. “Did I tell you how lovely you look in that dress, Y/N?”

“Did I tell you how much I like your hair like that, James?” You asked, teasingly. “I have to admit, you clean up real nice.”

“You too.” He chuckled as he took a bite of his food, looking around the neighborhood that he had been so familiar with when he had been younger, but now he felt like a stranger. After Steve had moved in with him, he rarely came down to this part of town. While it was home to his best friend, to him it had been an insignificant part of Brooklyn, at least until you had moved here. Nowadays, it seemed that he came by this neighborhood every few days whenever he’d offered you a ride home and to see that these trips only made him miss his former nanny would be an understatement.

He missed her dearly, for the woman had raised him as her own. He knew that it was people like her who needed the care and concern of people like him. It was why he had thrown this gala in the first place, not even Steve knew about how close this was for Bucky.

Perhaps if Sarah Rogers had the money to afford the best care in Brooklyn, her doctors would not have managed to misdiagnose her with pneumonia. Her cancer could have been caught sooner and she might be alive. These pro bono surgeries were just a way for him to prevent such tragic deaths that could have been easily avoided.

You popped the bottle of champagne, laughing heartily at the fizz that spilled slightly on your gown. But you could care less about it. “You first.” You told him as you held the bottle towards him.

Taking the bottle from you and taking a swing, he turned over to look at you with a smile. “Why do you still live here, Y/N?” He asked you, curiously. “You’re not a fellow anymore. You’re a board certified cardiothoracic surgeon and a good one at that. I’m sure you can afford a nicer apartment with the amount you get paid.”

“I mean, I could... but I don’t really want to leave my little loft.” You replied, shrugging as you took the bottle from him and took a sip. “It’s been my first real home in forever, James. It’s the first place that I moved into... that wasn’t a campus dorm or a sorority house. It wasn’t supposed to be some kind of temporary accommodation.” Like a foster home. “I mean, I could find myself a bigger apartment but... it’s just me. I don’t take up that much space. I don’t like taking up too much space. I’m fine living here. It’s nice and cozy. It’s home.”

“But aren’t you worried about the safety hazards, Y/N? You live above a restaurant, the stairs are too narrow. In case of an emergency, you won’t be able to get out quickly.” He noted.

You let out a sigh as you handed him the bottle. “You know, after spending a cold winter night in the street... any other place can feel the safest.” You admitted, biting down on your bottom lip. “Plus, I work so much that I’m barely home anyways. It’s fine, James. I’m fine here.”

“Alright... if that’s what you say so.” He nodded, giving in since he knew that he could not change your mind that easily, taking a sip of the champagne before setting it down for a moment. He set down his tray and stood up from his seat on the step. “Anyways, I think the roof has enough space for just the two of us.” He remarked as he pulled his phone out of his pocket. “And I think I owe you a little dance. So if you wouldn’t mind, Dr. Y/N/N... shall we?””

You could not help but roll your eyes at that. “I believe you do.” You remarked as you stood up, brushing off the back of your dress before slipping back into your heels.

Bucky put on a song before setting down his phone, holding out his hand with a bow of his head. “M’Lady.”

You giggled softly as you tried your best at a curtsey, only to trip over your gown and grab onto the man’s hand as you laughed.

He let out a hearty laugh as he helped you regain your balance, his arm wrapped around your waist as he began to slowly sway along to the music.

You blushed slightly as you held onto him, your ear pressed gently against his chest, the sound of his beating heart bringing you a sense of solace as the song began.

You look so wonderful in your dress I love your hair like that The way it falls on the side of your neck Down your shoulders and back We are surrounded by all of these lies And people who talk too much You got the kind of look in your eyes As if no one knows anything but us Should this be the last thing I see I want you to know it's enough for me 'Cause all that you are is all that I'll ever need I'm so in love, so in love So in love, so in love You look so beautiful in this light Your silhouette over me The way it brings out the blue in your eyes Is the Tenerife Sea And all of the voices surrounding us here They just fade out when you take a breath Just say the word and I will disappear Into the wilderness Should this be the last thing I see I want you to know it's enough for me 'Cause all that you are is all that I'll ever need I'm so in love, so in love So in love, so in love

 “Well, the fact that you deliberately admitted that only makes me wonder what kind of crazy thing you’re about to do next, Barnes.” Peggy noted as she took her steaming cup of tea from her husband. “Because I know that look on your face. You’re planning something, aren’t you?”

Bucky let out a chuckle as he stood up from his seat, tossing away the container that had held his salad in the trash can before walking over to his locker. “I’m not planning anything, Peggy. I’m just... coming up with a solution to Y/N’s dilemma.” He told her with a shrug as he retrived his lab coat and put it on over his scrubs.

“Also known as planning.” Steve clarified as he sat down next to his wife and took a sip of his coffee. “Spill it, you punk. What are you going to do?”

“Well, right now... I’m going to go down to the pediatrics ward because Clint asked me to cover his shift for the afternoon.” Rolling his eyes, Dr. Barnes grabbed his stethoscope that hung on the hook in his locker. He turned around to look at Peggy for a moment. “Peggy, out of curiosity, how long will it take for you to draft a contract?”

The lawyer gave him a confused look. “It really depends on what the terms on this contract will be?”

“How about something along the lines of... ‘by accepting these two million dollars and an additional allowance of three grand’s per month... we, the Y/L/N’s agree that we will leave our estranged daughter alone for the rest of her life, we’ll never try to contact her and we won’t try to extort any more money from her,’ or something like that?” He asked her, smirking as he tossed his stethoscope over his neck and crossed his arms against his chest.

“Bucky, no.”

“I pay off her dad’s medical bills and give them a little extra so that they don’t come crawling back to her ever again.” Bucky stated with a shrug. “Steve, you and I both know what Y/N does with her hard-earned money. This clinic is... her everything. If she pays them off, she won’t be able to keep it going. I don’t think I can let that be taken away from her.”

Steve let out a sigh as he pondered Bucky’s suggestion for a moment. “As much as I agree with you, Buck, this isn’t your call to make. It’s hers. And even if she did find out about you wanting to do this, you know she won’t let you. Hell, she wouldn’t even let me pay them off when I offered to do it this morning.”

“She... doesn’t need to know, Steve. That’s why I’m telling the two of you. Peggy drafts a contract; I write a cheque, the Y/L/N’s sign the contract and take the money that they came for. Y/N will be happy once they are out of her life for good and that’s all that fucking matters.”

“But... Bucky, what even is the point of you doing all of this if Y/L/N doesn’t even find out about it?”