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fallingfor-fics · 3 years ago

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Teachers Pet- chapter 61: charlie

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Chapter 60

a/n ok im gonna be totally honest I had no clue I basically made charlie swan until I went back and re read it and I'm dying lmaoooo but this one isn't hot ok, he's got a gut and stuff so plz bear with me

I appeared in a small alleyway near the house and followed the map my mom had sent me on how to get there. It was very green and full of trees. The house was down a hill hidden in the greenery. It was quite pretty with the sun and flowers, but sort of eerie. I took a deep breath as I walked up the steps to the porch. There was an old dark blue Mercedes parked in the driveway along with my mom's car. I gently opened the screen door and knocked on the old oak door.

It opened rather quickly and my mom waved her hand "Ahhh my baby is here!! I'm so glad you made it!" She squealed, pulling me in for a hug. I furrowed my brows at her behavior, awkwardly hugging her back. "Yeah its good to see you." I smiled and she pulled me in, "Come on now lets show you the house." She shut the door behind us and began giving me a tour. It wasn't as bad as I thought, it had original woodwork and wallpaper in the kitchen. It was a one story and she showed me across the house to my room and the guest room. They were pretty decent sizes but my favorite part was the sunroom. The walls were all glass that looked into the forest. Sun shining through the trees and into the room. "It's very beautiful mom" I said smiling and she nodded, "Yes it was a bitch to fix up but I'm not upset!" I nodded, setting my stuff down on the bed, I enlarged it looking around before I did.

She saw the sudden appearance of the luggage and just looked away. "So where is this Charles?" I asked walking with her to the kitchen. "Well why dont you go meet him hes in the garage!" I screamed internally. The last thing I wanted was an awkward encounter with this man without my mom being there to make conversation. "Which by the way, does he know...about me?" I asked quietly. She was quiet for a moment and got visibly uncomfortable, "Um no I don't think he should know." I nodded and looked around. There were hardly any photos up, and the few there were on the mantle and walls were of her and Charles. "Does he know about Connie? I mean I don't even see her photos. Or my photos for that matter." She tensed up and looked over at the photos on the wall, "Um no.." she said quietly. "What she just never came up?" I asked in shock, she shook her head and sighed looking down. "Can we not do this right now?" she said rubbing her forehead, "Do what mom? It's just surprising to me that you're engaged to this man and he doesn't know about her. "I just couldn't bring myself to talk about it ok." I understood it was rough and that my mom had to deal with another kind of grief, but this just didn't feel right to me.

I walked past her and headed to the garage to get this meeting over and done with. I walked in and saw a man working on a motorcycle, surrounded by tools and a workbench. He was an interesting looking man. A thick mustache was over his top lip along with thick eyebrows and thinning hair. He was muscular but a little husky and his hands were covered in black grease. "Well hello there! You must be Y/n." He got up from the ground and wiped his hands off before extending one to shake. I awkwardly accepted with a small smile. "Yes you must be Charles." he nodded and waved a hand, "Oh please call me Charlie." he had a wide smile with wrinkles from years of laughter and kind eyes hidden beneath the bushy brows. "So you got kids Charlie?" I asked looking at the motorcycle, "I got one, but he's out of the house." I looked around and stood there in the awkward silence. "You like bikes?" he asked and I looked down at it. "Cant say ive ever gotten to know them." I smiled kindly and he rubbed his head awkwardly, "Well I saved this one from a buddy of mine, and ive been working on it so me and your mom can take rides through the neighborhood.

It's very nice down these roads." I smiled at his kind thoughts and genuine attempt at small talk. "Yeah it's very lively.." he laughed and got back to working on the bike. "Is that your mercedes? It's gorgeous." he smiled and nodded at my comment, "Yup I fixed her up too. She was my first big project." he grunted as he tweaked with the motorcycle some more. "Well i'm going to head back inside, but it was nice meeting you." I smiled and he nodded nervously. "Yeah you too." I sighed as I walked back in. God that was rough. "Well he seems like a great guy." I said to my mom who was starting dinner. "Yeah he is." I leaned on the counter watching her. After a moment of silence she spoke as she cut some potatoes. "Are you still seeing someone?" she asked nonchalantly. I sighed at her choice in words. "If you are talking about Draco then yes I am." She got quiet and put them in the boiling water on the stove. "You know his family are not good people Y/n." I nodded "Oh believe me I know his family well. Who do you think I celebrated my birthday with?" I could tell she wasn't happy about that but she knew better than to say something. She made no effort to make plans. "I'm going to go set up my room." I said leaving the tense setting and going to do just that. I had shut the door and used magic to put everything in its place. I didn't have anything else to do and I would rather not sleep in the guest room. It was almost time for dinner and I headed out to see if my mom needed any help. I heard her and Charlie bickering and waited til he went and sat down before coming out. "Hey, dinner is almost done, can you set the table?" she stated more than asked and I just nodded. Grabbing some napkins and silverware. Charlie was watching some sports team and I took my time setting them down on the table.

Dinner was spent listening to my mom talk on and on about work, and the neighborhood gossip, along with the wedding. We also caught up a bit and I filled her in on how school was going. As far as Charlie knew I was just going to a catholic boarding school that did not allow visitors. Before I knew it I was in my familiar bed trying to fall asleep. It took awhile but eventually I was waking up to the sun shining through the window. I layed in bed as long as I could to avoid my mother.

Severus POV

It was early to say the least, too early for the plans he had on his agenda. He finished buttoning his sleeves, grabbing his wand and heading out. He sighed as he approached the old familiar house and walked on in. hearing the muffled sound of chit chat coming from the meeting room. He walked in ignoring everyone's presence as usual and sat down in his normal spot at the table. Soon the old man came in and sat at the head of the table. Everyone got silent and he gave a small smile to the people. Severus kept his eyes on the man, trying to get out of here as soon as possible. "Im sure most of you know why I called a meeting especially after so long without." Severus watched as most of them nodded. "The Dark Lord is getting closer and closer to getting what he wants." Some people had confused looks and Albus just sighed, "My goddaughter Y/n had another close encounter at her birthday party. Luckily Severus was there to interfere," he gestured to Snape and he just looked down, not wanting to make a show out of him doing his job. "however the death eaters will continue to come for her until Voldemort can get his hands on her." Severus looked down at the sentence thinking about what the old man was saying. "Severus, have you got any new information?" Albus asked, snapping him out of his train of thought. "Not particularly, I am going to a meeting tonight though so Im sure I will hear more. As of right now their current plan remains the same." Albus nodded in disappointment, "And is he still helping them." Severus nodded. "Who do you mean?" Remus asked from across the table, Sirius on his left looking puzzled as well. "Quincy." Albus said reluctantly. Severus tensed at the name, feeling a heat run through his blood at the thought of the man. Remus just nodded "Merlin.." Sirius mumbled. "We just need to focus on the things we can control, and until we know their next move, we don't know how to fight back." Albus sighed, "Just look out for anything suspicious and if you know anything at all report it back to me immediately." Everyone nodded and got up to leave. "Severus," Dumbledore stopped the tall man, "I know you spend a lot of time with Y/n with tutoring and all," Severus just nodded, ignoring the comment and let him continue, "has she shown any signs of... danger?" Severus expected that's where he was going and he kept a stern and cold look on his face. "No, not from what I can tell. Chances of her becoming a threat are very low Albus." Albus just nodded and looked away, "Well alright, come see me after the meeting tonight." Severus nodded and exited the house. Letting out a breath as he apparated back home.

He hated the way he'd been doing this for years, but for some reason this time around was affecting him like no other. He was always caught up in plans whether it was on the good or bad side didn't matter. He always was tied to them. The common factor in both worlds. And now he had so much at stake -- you. He worried every minute he wasn't near enough to save you. Not that you needed saving, but having such a high risk job put you on the radar even more. And now that you were an item on top of Voldemort being after you, he was helpless. It wasn't that he doubted himself, it was the fact he'd seen it before. He'd watch it unfold in front of him for decades. And he watched his first love taken as a result. He cursed himself for being foolish. Kicked himself for letting it happen again. He swore after Lily to never love again to keep himself locked away so he wouldn't be hurt the way he'd been hurt many years ago. One slip up and he is gone, and then Voldemort has a direct line to you. Severus was the only thing that's kept you from being taken away this whole time. One wrong move and you are taken right before his eyes, and he's stuck. Back in the cell of his mind. Trapped forever in a world without you. He would never say it outloud but if you died and he didn't do everything he could have to stop it, he wouldn't have a reason to go on any longer. He would wish to perish with you.

Severus made his way back into his home. Unlocking the door as usual and walking in shutting it behind him. "Hello there Severus." Snape just turned around slowly, wand drawn as he faced the voice coming from his sitting area. "Oh easy now." the shorter man said laughing. "What are you doing here?" He asked, keeping his wand in his hand, ready. "Fine I see you're not in a good mood as usual." Severus just rolled his eyes waiting for the man to get to his point. "I wanted to see how everything is going with the girl." Severus felt his insides turn but he remained his normal cold self. "Well the curse seems to be taking effect, including all the... presumed symptoms. She is living with it though." the man just nodded, "And as for the more long term symptoms?" the man tapped his fingers together waiting for a response. Severus just sighed, not liking the idea of talking about you this way. "Nothing yet." he exhausted and the man frowned, "Oh he will not like that news." he shook his head and Severus thought about what that would entail, "but they still could come through some people take longer than others. And like I said when you decided to do this, It's only been cast on a small number of people." Severus added, hoping to convince the man. "Mm well as long as everyone stays out of the way, all should work out." Severus gritted his teeth trying to keep his mind clear of the terrible outcomes this would have if Dumbledore and the order couldnt find a way to stop them, if he couldn't find a way to stop them from hurting you. "Is that all you came for?" Severus asked, opening the door. The man just looked at him with a bothered and offended face, "Yes it was, I will see you at tonight's meeting, Severus." he nodded, walking past him. "Quincy." Severus said with annoyance in his voice, slamming the door behind him.

Y/n POV

I got up out of bed, slowly stretching my arms and yawning. The sun was brightly coming through the windows and I squinted as I took in a deep breath. I could smell the bacon and coffee coming from the kitchen and quickly got up. I didn't like the idea of not using magic while being here, normally I get ready in under ten minutes but without magic it would take longer, and would be abnormal for me to walk out ready for the day at 9 o'clock. I just put on some slippers brushing my hair down and walking out to the kitchen. "Good morning I made breakfast." My mom said in a tired voice, she didn't look very happy considering she was up and cooking. "Is everything ok?" I asked quietly as I grabbed a plate. "Yes everything's fine." she quipped, moving to grab juice from the fridge. I sat down eating a piece of bacon. "Have you heard from dad at all?" I asked taking a mug and filling it with some coffee. She looked up at me with a face and stopped all her movements. "Seriously?" she asked with annoyance in her voice. I looked away and then back at her, taking a sip of the hot drink and shrugging. "Um yes?" She just sighed, continuing to flip pancakes. "I mean you come to visit me and you are asking about your crazy father who I left? What are you trying to start an argument?" I just stayed silent. This is what she did, she was genuinely crazy. If she wasn't in a good mood, everything you said became a problem, it became a personal attack and the most you could do was argue back until she wears you down or storms off and just stay quiet. So I did. Ignoring her tone and just finishing my plate. "It was delicious. I'm going to go shower." I quickly showered and dried my hair, getting some time to calm my many many racing thoughts. I wondered about Severus, where he was, and if he was safe. And I figured he was worrying the same.

Taglist; @lovelyhoneylemon @juliijah @lmao-liz

#snape x reader #snape imagine #professor snape #snape #severus snape #severus snape x reader #severus x reader #severus x reader smut #severusnape #Snape slowburn #slytherin #severus please impregnate me #hogwarts #HarryPotter

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itsthestutterforme · 4 years ago

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Coma (Aaron Hotchner)

Y/N falls into a coma after getting hit by a car that ran a red light. The team fears that she might never wake up.

Y/N and Hotch have been past lovers but they managed to find a common ground to keep a professional relationship at work. But when Haley died, the first person Aaron turned to was Y/N. He spent countless nights over her house and he didn't have to ask her to hold him. That became first instinct.

Their relationship remained platonic and professional, but they both knew that at the very least, they had each other. Two years have passed and Aaron has met Beth. He seems really happy and geninuely moving forward, but he didn't want to tell Y/N because he feels that she would feel betrayed in some way.

Rossi and Hotch talk about it on the way to the conference room. "I've seen Y/N care more about your wellbeing than her own. How is this any different?" Rossi asks.

"What if she distances herself because she feels that I don't need her anymore?" Hotch asks. "Well do you.. need her?" "Of course," "Why?" "I--" "Good morning, Hotch." Y/N greets as she walks up to him and hands him a cup of coffee that she got for him.

"I saw this and thought of you. I tried it before but I have a feeling that you can make one better." Y/N adds as she hands Rossi a pannettone, an Italian pastry. She smiles at them before walking into the conference room.

Rossi and Hotch look at one another and Rossi says, "Now I see what you mean," "She's just so.." "Perfect for you. You two are on the same wave length." "I lost my chance, Rossi." "You don't know that," "Is everything okay guys?" Y/N asks as she peeks her head out of the conference room.

"Yeah, we're coming," ""Just think about it," Rossi says as he pats Hotch's back. Hotch sits next to Y/N and she repeats, "You sure you're okay?" "Yeah, I'm alright." Y/N doesn't believe it for a second, but she knows that he'll tell her in his own time.

This particular case was dangerous because it involved a schitzophrenic Navy Seal with severe PTSD from his time in the field. Y/N had seen the unsub kill a child and she was dead set on getting him. She knew she should have waited for back up but she wanted to catch him before he kills someone else.

"I'm in pursuit of the unsub," I say over coms. "No, Y/N. You stay and wait for back up." "He's getting away, Hotch. I'm not going to let him kill another kid." Y/N looks both ways before crossing the street.

She dashes across the street when minivan runs a red light and crashes right into Y/N. Her body crushes the windshield as she rolls over the top of the car. The impact of her head smacking against the concrete sends her unconscious. The worst part about it was that Hotch and Morgan stopped at the red light across from Y/N. They watched the whole thing and couldn't do anything about it.

They had to wait for the light to turn green before they rushed over to her. "Y/N!" Hotch says with tears threatening his eyes. He kneels down next to her and presses his fingers to her neck. Mor-" "They're already on the way here," "Y/N, can you hear me?" "She isn't moving," Hotch says to Morgan. "She's probably unconscious," "Damn it! I told her to wait. Why didn't she listen!"

"Hey, yelling at her won't wake her up, man." Morgan states. "That car was going at least 60 miles per hour. There's a chance she's--" "Stop, Hotch. They're on their way. Relax," "I can't relax because I love her!" "I'm sorry, I'm.." "At least you finally admitted it." "She'll wake up, Hotch." Morgan adds as he pats his shoulder.

The doctor comes out to a very distressed team. He sighs as he stuff his hands in his pockets. "No, no, please, not again." Garcia says with tears leaving her eyes. "She made it off the operating table but she's in a coma. There's no telling when or if she'll wake up." The doctor explains.

"Come on, man. Don't dismiss her like that. She's strong and she'll make it through this." Morgan defends. "I really hope so," "'Can we see her?" JJ asks. The doctors nods and motions to the room where she was. The team slowly walks in and Garcia falls into Morgan's chest as she sees how many bruises Y/N had littering her face and body.

"Oh God," JJ says as she claps a hand over her mouth. Emily offers JJ a shoulder to cry on.

The only thing they could hear was the high pitch beep of the intubator making sure she's breathing correctly. As well as the beeps of her heart rate. "I can't, I'm sorry." Garcia says as she leaves the room and Morgan follows her. Emily and JJ left the room soon after. "Can I.. have a minute with her?" Hotch asks Rossi. "Of course," Rossi says before closing the door on the way out.

Hotch sighs as he sits down next to her. "I should have told you about Beth. But for some reason, I thought that I was betraying you so I held off and now you." He trails off as tears prick his eyes. "What am I going to tell Jack ab- he loves you and I have no idea what I'm going to do without you." He rests his face into her stomach and cries into it.

Over the course of two months, Y/N was still in a coma and Jack would always ask to visit her whenever he was sad. There was something about Y/N that just calmed him down. Anyone that went around Y/N would feel calm and collected, that's just the vibe she gave. Hotch would always visit her whenever he needed to clear his head, which happened more times than not.

Hotch was feeling angry the entire day because one of the nurses gave him a pamphlet that talks about letting go and accepting loss. Y/N wasn't dead, she was in a coma. There a chance of her waking up. Hotch thinks to himself.

"Hey, are you okay?" Morgan asks Hotch, pulling him out of his thoughts. "The doctor thinks we should pull the plug," Hotch says, clenching his jaw.

"They have no right to say that. It's been two months, not two years. There's still a chance for her!" Morgan snaps. "I know, but I'm.. what if she doesn't wake up." "Don't you dare give up on her, Hotch." "Believe me, I haven't and it cost me Beth." "Hotch-" "The little free time I have, I spend visiting Y/N. And Jack has been asking about her since the accident. Beth feels like we're shutting her out,"

"Are you?" "Not intentionally. I was just so used to Y/N. I feel like I've taken her for granted and there's no way of her knowing. It's been eating at me for months." "Hey, studies have shown that coma patients can hear people when they're under," "I don't know what I'm going to do, Morgan." Hotch runs a hand over his face and Morgan was about to say something when Hotch's phone rings.

"Hotchner," Hotch answers and his face softens when he hears the nurse saying that Y/N has woken up. Hotch decides to keep that information between him and Morgan. He didn't want the rest of the team distracted like he was. Images of Y/N smiling and the sound of her laugh echoes through his mind. She's awake. She's finally awake.

Y/N's POV

My throat still stings from the intubator rubbing against my vocal cords. The doctor insisted that I drink a lot of fluids and the nurses helped reintroduce my muscles to the different movements. And now they- my calfs in particular- are screaming at me right now. I look at the TV in the top left corner.

There was some cheesy hallmark movie on but my mind drifts off to hearing Aaron's voice. Hearing him cry. Hearing everyone cry for me was worse than getting ran over by a car. The sound of the doctor's voice pulls me out of my thoughts. "She said she wanted to speak with Agent Hotchner privately," the doctor says.

Seconds later, Aaron appears in the door frame. "Hi," I cringe at both how raspy my voice is and how painful it was to talk. "Hi," he whispers. "How's Beth?" "We separated a few weeks ago," "I'm sorry to h-hear that," I trail off into a cough and reach for my water. He rushes over to my side and hands me the bottle. A rush of seratonin explodes in my brain as the cold water soothes my throat.

"You shouldn't be talking. It's too soon." he says. "But I have so much to say," "Me too, but we have time. The team is really eager to ta-" "I saw a light," I interrupt as I see him advance for the door. He stops in his tracks and I continue, "The light was bright and warm.. and it smelled of vanilla oil and honey. Everything drew me to it and I was so close to it that I could almost taste it."

"What drew you back?" "You did," I watch as Hotch plays his hands on his hips and drop his gaze to the ground. He was trying to hide his tears. "I heard everyone but you and Jack were the most clear." Hotch doesn't say anything but I hear a soft sob leave his lips. "Hotch?" He shakes his head and I slowly move my legs over the edge of the bed.

I inhale sharply as my feet makes contact with the ice cold floor. I take the rack with my IV catheter attached to it and walk over to him in small steps. He finally looks up to see me standing and his eyes widened. "What are you doing?" He takes me into his arms and I softly moan at the warm radiating off of his body. "I'm tired of waiting," I explain.

I wipe the tears from under his eyes and hold his face in my hands. "The fear of losing you makes the blood run cold in my veins. The doctor wanted me to pull the plug and-" I shush him and he whimpers. "I'm here now, Aaron." I rest my face into his collarbone and smell his alluring cologne. "I'm so sorry that I doubted you and took you for granted. I-I love you so much," he cries.

"Marry me," I say as tears escape my eyes. His eyes snap to mine and my breath leaves my lungs. "Like I said. I'm tired of waiting. If I learned anything it's that life is short and I don't want to waste any more time not being w-". He crashes his lips against mine and I finally feel the air restoring in my lungs.

My eyes flutter closed as our lips move against one another. His tongue dips into my mouth and I groan against his lips. His hands slide down to my lower back and I pull him closer by his beck. He pulls away from me but I find myself following his lips.

"Yes, I'll marry you." "You will?" "Of course,". He rests his forehead against mine and I lovingly rub my nose against his. "Did I just hear a proposal?" Rossi says as he walks in. "Proposal?!" Garcia yells. "Finally!" Emily says and everyone filled into the room.

Hotch positions me so his chest and pressing against my back. His arms wraps around my waist and would occasionally kiss my temple. Everyone all tried to talk to me all at once, something that I truly missed. I don't regret running away from the light at all. This is exactly where I'm supposed to be.

#aaron hotch x reader #aaron hotchner fanfiction #criminal minds #aaron hotchner #Spotify

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kinetic-elaboration · 4 years ago

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July 17: 2x26 Assignment: Earth

Finally finished up S2 of TOS yesterday. That was... a rough episode tbh. I’m just gonna say it: back door pilots are bad! They’re bad. If I wanted to watch that other show, I’d watch it.

Wow, they’re just really jumping right in, huh? “Here we are, on a routine mission into the past, using a time travel method that we invented nbd.”

Investigating desperate problems in the year 2020...2016.... no wait 1968.

Ooh, Spock in the transport room today. Does he have a whole extra random station there? That’s so weird; I’ve never seen that before. It’s like hidden in the corner.

Cat!! Cat!!

What a good actor. I’m still bitter that wikipedia has a whole section about the casting for “Isis the cat” that talks entirely about the human who played Isis for 2 minutes and nothing about the talented feline actor. Where did they find her? How did they teach her to act?

She has a lot of thoughts about Kirk.

I wrote down “Scully, you’ve got to see this” in my notes and I’ve already forgotten what it refers to lol. Some moment that I thought would fit well with my favorite x-files meme.

Change history, you say? Spock is intrigued. ...Admittedly, Spock is often intrigued.

“What if it turns out you’re an invading alien from the future?” Honestly...let him invade. You’re not supposed to be here anyway.

I’m pretty insulted by this. The aliens went through all this trouble to help in 1968...where are our alien helpers NOW?

The cat straight up attacked his face.

Kirk is so fond of Spock being fond of the cat.

“It’s a lovely animal. I feel myself strangely drawn to it.”

Kirk is way too confused by Seven--an allegedly human person with super-human abilities that he says come from aliens--and yet, he’s met Charlie X so??? Is this not the same?

Kirk’s got the whole crew checking in on zoom.

(I actually do like this sequence of him getting video calls from different parts of the ship.)

“Weren’t orbiting H-bombs a huge problem in 1968?” Looks at the camera like he’s on The Office. Not the subtlest bit of writing in the “social commentary” genre. I do say this with love, though. I always enjoy when they comment on contemporary problems.

“He has a totally perfect body.” Lol don’t distract these two bisexuals.

[soft meowing]

“The prisoner has escaped.” The way this is shot, it looks like he’s talking about the cat.

Hmm, I do love the decor. Very 60s. This honestly immediately feels like a different show, and a much more dated show; even when the Enterprise time travels, it tends not to time travel to... office space.

Love the little sounds the computer makes.

So is Isis supposed to be one of the fancy aliens? It’s never explained but one must assume she is.

Aw, he’s petting her paw.

So I assumed the cats sounds are real, but just dubbed. They’re not lol. Which I guess isn’t surprising: this cat makes a lot of noises! They were provided by a human voice actress.

Damn.... I want a secret bookshelf that turns around to reveal a super computer with a big screen. “Computer... play Netflix.”

That’s what Seven does in his spare time.

The computer is an AI. “Beta 5 snobbery” lol.

Where are OUR alien overlords to stop US from destroying ourselves before WE can mature into a peaceful society?

This is really masterful exposition lol. Not forced or awkward at all.

ST sure does love the snooty female computer trope.

“Get us the proper costumes.” Yes, get Spock his Requisite Hat.

Omicron IV....that’s one of the names they use in Futurama lol. Such nerds.

Another excellent Spock Hat.

I love Seven’s various IDs. Great style. I wish my driver’s license looked like those.

“Who do you think you are?” He hasn’t decided yet. That’s why he was shifting through his IDs.

Seven is not smart lol. Like, he should have figured out way faster that this lady isn’t one of the Alien Overlords. He asks her the code question, she doesn’t understand it, and he... assumes she’s just really in character? Dude, that’s what the code questions are for!!! To help you identify people! Otherwise you could just straight up ask: are you an alien?

Instead he’s like “oh, you silly alien, you’re playing with me,” and then is forced to trap her, reveal his whole mission, and ultimately ensnare her in his plan.

I want that typewriter. Voice recognition typewriter.

"My incompetence has made you aware of very secret devices." Well at least he knows.

Trained cat!

The alien overlords were killed in a random car accident. That’s ironic.

Oh look, a real rocket!

Brown pants + short sleeved shirt + tie is such a Classic 60s look.

This security guard doesn’t think it’s weird that this random dude has a cat with him? Is this part of Isis’s alien power?

Except for the part where it’s a weapon, it’s pretty cool to see all this build up to, like... launching stuff into space. Exciting.

Isis likes to be on shoulders. Just like Little Guy.

New hat for Spock. His outer wear hat, and now his fancy hat. There is something to be said for this ep, and that is Kirk and Spock in suits.

Amazing how they literally launched rockets with computers that old. Like seeing the big bank of primitive computers is totally wild. We put people on the moon that way! Amazing.

“Meow.” Lol, Isis is stressed so she’s speaking like a cat. That’s a pretty funny joke actually.

Seven is so incompetent. If he’d just let the Enterprise help, Scotty could have fixed that rocket issue in like 3 seconds.

Lol everyone’s just pulling Gary through space. Now on the Enterprise. Now in the office.

Why does this computer have a hug black screen if it only displays images on the small white circle?

"Spock and I in custody. Main characters, doing nothing, knowing nothing, totally useless and irrelevant. I have never felt more helpless." Literally what is even the point of them today? Does Spock even have lines outside of “I like the cat”?

Isis is jealous of Roberta. Is she.. in a relationship with Seven lol?

Uhura is listening to everyone in the world. She probably has a universal translator on, but I do feel like this scene implies she just...understands all the languages.

So now the warhead is armed and heading to somewhere vague... in other words, everyone has collectively made the situation worse.

....Or this was Seven’s plan all along? To scare people into ceasing to be so careful with nuclear weaponry? As someone who knows humans better than this guy, I think this is a dumbass plan.

“That’s why so many people in my generation are kind of crazy and rebels.” Same, sweetheart.

Really this is just a story about bad communication. If Seven had told Kirk his plan upfront, Kirk would have helped him. And if Kirk weren’t so insistent on involving himself in something just because he happens to be somewhere he probably shouldn’t be, we wouldn’t have this issue either. The hubris of everyone.

Overall, just a really forced narrative imo.

Or that’s how it was supposed to be lol. The Irony of time travel. By it’s nature, everything has already worked out.

Kirk and Spock are like “You’re welcome. Peace out.”

Honestly... Isis was the only good part. Such a talented cat actor!! Or trio of cat actors, I guess. Had to do all those stunts and stuff.. .amazing. I also liked the concept of Isis. How she turned into a human later just to troll Roberta. How she’s never really explained--one must assume, an alien? Plus I pretty much never get tired of human + animal teams where the animal makes animal noises and the human just understands and answers in English.

As a stand alone sci fi concept...it was okay. Kinda dated by now. The alien tech was nifty and Roberta could have grown on me. Maybe even Seven, though he left a lot to be desire. That said, the narrative relied a lot on people getting in each other’s way for no reason, which I find very frustrating.

But as a Star Trek episode....no. The main characters were just nuisances on the side lines!! I’m not even sure what Kirk’s mission here was--to try to figure out what Seven was doing? And stop him if necessary? But he never really decided if it was or not, until the point where not trusting him would basically cause a nuclear war? I don’t know, I found it all very frustrating. The melding of the original show and the spinoff was not smooth.

If I were watching this in 1968, I’d feel very cheated. THIS was the season finale? That’s it? I don’t even get a real Star Trek episode and now I have to wait months for anything new?

And what I get after all that waiting is Spock’s Brain?? I’d be tempted to quit. If I had a tumblr in 1969 I’d be writing multi-paragraph rants about how the best show on television has completely nose-dived lol.

But then there’s The Enterprise Incident, which is one of the best episodes... I don’t know, man. It’s a conundrum. I’ve only seen maybe half of season 3 but from what I remember it’s very uneven: some of the best eps (The Enterprise Incident, For the World Is Hollow, Day of the Dove) mixed in with some of the worst (Spock’s Brain, The Paradise Syndrome), plus some that are good concepts but shoddily executed (The Way to Eden). So we’ll see what I think about it when I see it all in one piece, in air date order.

#the year 2021 #2021: fandom thoughts #2021: star trek #star trek tos

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fatrainbowmermaidunicorn · 5 years ago

Text

Kindred Spirit (Taehyung X You) (ONESHOT)

A/N: The full version of the Taehyung fanfic, but I changed it a little from the preview I posted. Hope its okay 😘 also, im not sure whats an "er of their marriage" means exactly? But i take it their life after marriage? Ill make an epilogue of that soon! 😘

"Ive been an idol for years Y/N and you have never once come to see me perform? Dont you know people would die for all the free passes and tickets I left for you?!" Her bestfriend grumbles, hands crossed over his chest, his pout over an inch long.

Y/N laughs.

"Thats why I said you should give it to someone else thats actually have time to go watch you,"

"But you are my best friend. BESTFRIEND Y/N. How is is possible you never once saw me perform? And you dont even know any of my bandmates? How is that possible??" Yoongi keeps on grumbling in disbelief.

"Well.. Min Yoongi. I can give you an answer. Because I'm busy with real life okay. You know my appa wants me to take over soon. You know I dont do it on purpose right?" Y/N pouts, hoping if shes cute enough, or looks guilty enough Yoongi would actually forgive her.

"Nope. Your puppy face wont cut it this time,"

Damn.

"You are coming. And if I dont see you cheering your ass off tomorrow night, front row, our friendship is over. Over I say!"

And thats is why Y/N is running and pushing through the excited crowd of boys and girls in the stadium, trying to find her section. She made it! She almost didnt, but almost didnt matter. Shes here now. All dressed in her work clothes, with what is supposed to be called an Army Bomb in her hand, something that her secretary shoved in her bag earlier, saying its a must have for an Army. She dont even know what an Army is!

As the show starts, Y/N jumps to the music, smiling proudly everytime Yoongi make an appearance. She has heard him rapped before, but she never seen him this charismatic. Its as if the man on stage is not even the dorky Yoongi she has known for years. And his band members... wow. All so talented, all so good looking.

As the concert ended, Y/N makes her way backstage, flashing the pass Yoongi gave her and make her way through series of dressing room, trying to find the one where the boys are in.

"Must be this one," she followed the door that has the most sound and lights to find the boys chatting, congratulating each other. "Uh, Yoongi?" Y/N calls out softly, feeling awkward. Is she even supposed to be here?

"Oh you are here. God, cant believe you actually made it!" Yoongi rushed over and gave her a tight hug. "Wait, I'll introduce you to the others, but I need to change my pants first. Wait here, dont move!" Before she could say anything, Yoongi has already ran off.

"Uh.. okay. Ill stay here I guess," she moved herself timidly to a corner and stands awkwardly, hoping no one would notice her. But wishes dont always come true.

"Hey, uh..." a guy, a very handsome guy, who Y/N recognizes as one of Yoongi's band members, but cant be sure who, approached her.

"Uh.. yes? A-am I not supposed to be here? Im sorry. Im just waiting for Y-"

"Oh, no. I just want to ask you. Wheres the bathroom?"

"Huh?" Y/N looks at the guy curiously. Is he for real? He had a three day back to back concert here and today is the third day. And he doesnt know where the bathroom is? And he is asking... her? Y/N laughs before answering. So weird.

"Uh.. I-"

Smack.

"You know very well where the bathroom is you idiot. What are you talking about?" Yoongi who just came back smacked the guy's head.

"Ouchhh, hyunggg," he pouted, rubbing his head.

"Serves you right. Thats the worse and most cringy pick up line ever!"

"Hyunggggg, shut upppp," the guy eyed Y/N shyly and glares at his hyung and turn his attention back on her. "S-sorry. I just wanted to talk to you but I dont want to scare you off," he grins sheepishly.

"Oh, its okay. Im not a stalker. I'm here because Yoongs invited me. I'm Y/N," she hands out her hand for a handshake. "And no, I dont know where the bathroom is," she giggles.

Yoongi rolls his eye and smacks his forehead at the lame attempt of flirting the younger man is doing.

"Hi Y/N. I'm Taehyung," he grips her hand and shakes it. "Kim Taehyung. And I'm the guy you will be having coffee with tonight," he grins.

/////

"Okay, so do you have a boyfriend?"

"No appa, I dont," Y/N sighs, frustrated.

"Then uh.... do you not like men? I mean, Im okay with that sweetheart, as long as you are happy..."

Y/N smile a little. Her appa is the most adorable man ever existed.

"Appa, no!" She giggles.

"Okay, okay. Im just asking. You know I will support you always princess," her appa smile and she can see a small sigh of relieve. "Then what is it sweetheart? Why are you so against this marriage with Hyun Dae?"

"Well, for one, I think arranged marriage is so old school appa," she pouts. "We are not living in the 60s or 20s or whatever year you and eomma are from,"

"How old do you think we are? The 20s?!" Her appa laughs. "Arranged marriage is not so bad you know,"

"Its not bad at all. I actually found the love of my life," her eomma gets up from the couch and link arms with her husband. "Although he is quite annoying at first," she laughs. Y/N's appa leans and kiss the top of her mothers head.

"Its the best decision ever," he smiles.

Y/N roll her eyes. It is well known between their family, friends and community that her parents are as in love as ever. They were from two wealthy family, arranged to be married, and lucky for them, they were each other soulmates.

"Appa, eomma, just because you two are lucky doesnt mean everyone is,"

"But sweetheart, Hyun Dae is everything a man can be. Hes very kind, smart, hes taking over his appa's business, he loves animals, arts, kids. Everything that you like. And plus, you two are quite close too. Why are you so against it?"

Y/N sighs.

"I dont know. Maybe a little part of me wants that traditional love story you know? To fall madly in love with someone and then get married?" She sighs and lays her head on her elbow. Her parents look at each other before her eomma approached her slowly, stroking her hair slowly.

"Sweetheart... are you in love with someone?"

"Well..." Y/N scratched her neck, avoiding their intrusive eyes. Her lips immediately curl into a small smile as an image immediately pops inside her head. Boxy smile, deep voice, always happy, positive outlook on everything. The one guy who made her deeply fall in love.

"Oh my dear, who is it? Why didnt you tell us?" Her eomma smile widely, clapping her hand in excitement.

"Well.. its uh.. because I dont know if he feels the same way..."

"Have you told him yet? Whoever this lucky person is?" Her appa take a step closer to her, smiling. His princess' happiness is everything to him.

"N-no. Not yet. I dont know. Should I?"

"You should sweetheart. Or how else would he know? And he most definitely feels the same way,"

"Do you think so appa?"

"I know so," he smiles. "Who in the world wouldnt fall in love with you sweetheart?"

Y/N smiles. Her parents are the best.

"Then I'll tell him. I'll tell him tomorrow,"

/////

"I like you Taehyung,"

A few moments past without either one saying anything. The air that pricks her skins feels colder. But nothing is colder that Taehyung's stare that is emotionless in front of her right now.

"Uh.. what? I heard you wrong I think," he laughs awkwardly.

"I... like you Taehyung,"

"Well, I like you too. Of course. You are one of my closest friends," Taehyung smiles. Y/N feels her heart suffocating but still puts on a brave face. Maybe he dont understand what she meant. Taehyung can be oblivious sometimes.

"I like you Taehyung," Y/N says it much clearer this time. "I.. love you. I love you Kim Taehyung. Like for real,"

"Listen..," he sighs after a few moment of silence. "I'm really flattered that you uh.. have feelings for me. And I know we have developed some degree of friendship, but... you thats what you are... just a friend," he looks at her with his deep gaze. "Yoongi's hyung friend to be exact,"

"Yoongi's friend?" Y/N looks at him, eyes filled with confusion. "After all this time. Is that all I am to you Tae? Your hyung's friend?"

"You know what I mean Y/N. You know how we met-"

"Yeah, I know how we met Tae.. but I though after all these time and moments we had..."

"That I would think of you as more? That I would fall in love with you?" Taehyung sighs. "I'm sorry if you felt like I lead you on. Thats just me. I'm just friendly. Im this way with everyone. But come on Y/N. Look at the facts. How can I be with you? I'm a worldstar, and you are well... you,"

Y/N felt like Taehyung just stabbed hee heart a million times. What does he mean that shes just.. her? Whats so wrong about being her?

"I enjoy our friendship, our interaction Y/N, but no more than that. And I am sorry to say that I am in a relationship. We havent gone public yet, but we are planning to, by this week,"

"I-in a relationship? With who Tae? A-and you didnt even bother to tell me? After all the time we spent together?" Y/N feels like screaming, but she knows she has no right to do so. All she can do is hold in her tears that can easily burst at any time.

"I think you know her," he smiles. Oblivious to the pain that Y/N is feeling. "Oraia. The new idol,"

"Oraia?" Oh Y/N knows the girl perfectly well. Pretty, fashionable, great at singing, dancing. Any guy would kill to have her. Including Taehyung it seems.

"I-I have to know Tae. W-why her? H-how?" Y/N managed to choked out her question.

"Oraia is the perfect girl for me," Taehyung smile at the thoughts of her, proving how in love he is, making Y/N's heart breaks even more. "An idol, beautiful, talented, shes basically the female version of me. So I'm sorry, but you..." Taehyung stops, trying to find the right word to describe what hes saying. "You and me Y/N... we are just worlds apart,"

"You are not a worldstar when I met you. You are not that like this when I met you," Y/N said softly, holding in tears. "We are not that much different from each other Tae,"

Taehyung gave a sad smile, no, a pity smile, before standing up, ready to leave.

"You can think whatever you want Y/N. But if you ever think we can be together..." he sighs and looks at her and gave her another pity smile. "If only things were different. In another world, maybe we would have been together.Goodbye Y/N,"

/////

Y/N closes her eyes, tears rolling down both her cheeks, already mixed together with the pouring rain as she walks home. Maybe the rain will wash away her feelings for Taehyung. Her stupid feelings for Taehyung. Different world? Taehyung's world is what she wanted to avoid her whole life. Glitz, glamour, fame, riches... Y/N cries out as loud as her heart wanted, thankful no one can hear her in the heavy rain. Shes just not enough for him. Thats the real reason. And she will never be for Kim Taehyung.

Days passed and Y/N has been locked up in her room ever since that disasterous day. Her parents have given up trying to find out what happen and finally left her alone.

And this week is finally the week Y/N dread the most. All the entertainment news, magazines, gossip websites are buzzing with the announcement that has just been made all week.

Y/N looks at the glossy pictures of the scattered tabloids in front of her again. The intimate pictures getting blurry as her eyes gets wetter. Taehyung's voice replayed in her brain like a broken record.

"An idol, beautiful, talented, shes basically the female version of me. So I'm sorry, but you..." Taehyung stops, trying to find the right word to describe what hes saying. "You and me Y/N... we are just worlds apart,"

With a deep breath, she crumples the pages that reflects the beautiful relationship that is Taehyung and Oraia, wipe her eyes and walked downstairs to where her parents are drinking tea, enjoying their evening in their luxurious lounge.

"Oh Y/N. You are finally out. How are you feeling honey? Want to join us sweetheart?" Her mother looked up from the magazine shes reading and smile, her father the same, offering her a seat besides them.

"N-no. Thanks though. And I feel better," she gave a small smile. "Eomma, appa, I have something to tell you guys," she said, heart beating fast.

"What is it honey?"

"Appa, eomma, I have thought it through. I agree to your proposal. I agree with the arranged marriage to Hyun Dae,"

Her parents looks at each other, surprised.

"Sweetheart, are you sure? You dont have to rush into this. You should take your time and think i-"

"No appa. I am sure this time," she gave a smile, hoping it would convince them. "I want to marry Hyun Dae. I think he and I will make a very happy marriage,"

"W-well.." her eomma looks unsure. "Okay.. then,"

"If you are sure sweetheart. Then we will start setting it up," her appa stood up and hugs her. "Just know that we both love you so much and want nothing but your happiness,"

Y/N nods slowly, tears brimming in her eyes, softly she whispers,

"Me too appa, me too..,"

/////

Tupp. Tupp.

Y/N looks over the sliding door that opens up to her huge balcony. What is that sound? Panicking, she grab the first thing she can reach, a hairbrush, and walk slowly to the glass sliding door.

Tupp. Tupp.

The sound continue. Taking a deep breath she bravely slides open the door.

"Ouchhh," she rubs her head. "What the hell?" She looks around to find what hit her. "A pebble?"

"Oh no, did I hit you?" A voice called out. Y/N looks over the balcony.

"Hyun Dae? What are you doing here? Its 2am!"

"I, uh.. I want to talk to you," he grins.

"Theres this thing call a telephone you know? Or a front door? Havent use one of those?" She glares and Hyun Dae laughs.

"Sorry. I just thought this Romeo and Juliet shit is romantic you know?" He laughs and Y/N rolls her eyes. "Can you come down? Lets take a walk in your garden,"

"Come down from here? Like Rapunzel?!"

Hyun Dae laughs. "Oh my god, how are you so adorable? Of course not! Use the front door silly,"

Y/N giggles. "Okay. Be right there,"

A few minutes later, they were strolling in Y/N's family flower garden, inhaling the fresh night air.

"So? What is it you want to talk about that cant wait until daylight?"

"Well," Hyun Dae stop walking and pull her hand, sitting her down on the stone bench. "I just want to do it properly and formally," he smiles and kneels down in front of her, holding her hand.

Y/N looks at him, both nervous and confused.

"Y/N, you dont know how truly happy, grateful, excited, speechless, ecstatic I am that you agreed to marry me. I have been in love with you since forever," he smiles and blush slightly. "And I know this is just an arranged marriage to you, and you dont love me. But right here, right now, I promise you, that I will make you the happiest girl alive, that I will love you despite everything and anything, and everything you wish for princess, is my command,"

Y/N feels her heart beats faster.

"L/N Y/N, will you marry me and make me the luckiest man ever lived?"

Without a doubt, without a single second of hesitation, she nodded.

"Yes, yes, definitely yes,"

/////

"You look distracted. Whats wrong?" Yoongi glance at Taehyung whos just staring blankly at his mirror as they are changing and cleaning up their makeup.

"Uh... nothing hyung," Taehyung quickly pretends to clean up his things.

"Its not nothing. You have been distracted for a few weeks now. I didnt want to say anything because I thought you would snap out of it but its just getting worse,"

"Its really nothing hyung!" Taehyung snaps and plop down on his chair, sighing. Yoongi shrugs and decide to give him some space. "Err.. hyung?"

"Yeah?"

"Why..uh... why doesnt Y/N come over to our shows anymore?" Taehyung finally open up his mouth to ask. Since that first time they met, she has always been around, cheering for them, right at the front row. But after her confession, he didnt see her anymore. Yeah, he felt bad about what he said and he tried calling, texting, video calling.. but nothing. Shes totally ignoring him. He wanted to meet her at her house, or her work place, until he realized he didnt know where to go. In fact, he didnt know anything about her. All the time they hung out, he only always talk about him. His life, his problems. Him. As if its that interesting. He sighs again.

Yoongi side eyed him.

"Is that what disturbing you? Y/N?"

"N-no. Im just curious,"

"Oh, okay then. Then the answer is, I dont want to tell you," Yoongi picks up his stuff and walk off.

Of course. Of course his hyung knows. Yoongi and Y/N are best friends afterall. Taehyung sighs. Well, maybe he deserves this. But still... he doesnt want to admit it to anybody, even himself, but deep down, he miss her. Really miss her.

/////

"Okay guys, lets go. We need to get ready," Namjoom clap his hands as a way to make his members make their way to the dressing room. Its awards season finally, and they need to get ready for their stage. Taehyung makes his way with his hyung to the back of the stage, wishing for all this to be over soon. He really wants to just rest his head.

As he was putting on the final touches he turns to the door and saw Y/N standing there, all dressed in a beautiful gown, fit for an award show. His first thought is, wow, and the second is that his eyes are playing tricks on him. But as Y/N makes her way inside and hugs Yoongi, he knows this is reality. Taehyung smiles. He cant help it. Did Yoongi told her about what he said a few days back and now shes here to see him?

Taehyung walks over the moment he gets the chance to get her alone.

"Hey," Taehyung smiles.

"Um.. hey," Y/N smiles awkwardly.

"So, why are you here? You miss me or something? Or are you stalking me?" He laughs.

"No, I'm actually h-"

"Hey baby, there you are. The crew said you went in first," A handsome guy, and obviously a chaebol makes his way to them, giving Y/N a kiss on the cheek and hugging her waist.

"Hi babe," she smiles. "Yeah, I went in to see Yoongi. Its time you meet my mysterious bestie,"

Taehyung was silenced, eyeing the man up and down. Baby? Cheek kissing? Waist hugging? Who is this guy?

"Oh is this Yoongi?" He smiles and held out a hand. Taehyung took it reluctantly.

"Oh no no. This is Kim Taehyung. Hes uh... Yoongi's band member,"

Yoongi's band member? Thats all he is??

"Oh okay. Hi, I'm Hyun Dae," he smiles and shakes Taehyung's hand before hugging Y/N's waist again. Taehyung felt like pulling off his arm, and he dont know why he felt that way.

"Lets go meet Yoongi," Y/N smiles and bows to him and move over to Yoongi, leaving Taehyung still staring at them. Once Yoongi and Hyun Dae are caught up in a conversation, Taehyung immediatly grab Y/N by the elbow and drag her to the side.

"Ouchh. What the hell Tae?!"

"Are you seriously this petty?" Taehyung scoffs.

"Petty?? What are you even talking about?"

"Fine, I rejected you. So now you are bringing this... this... stuck up someone here for what? To show me that you have moved on? To make me jealous?" Taehyung scoffs again. "As if,"

"What?!" Y/N looks at him in disbelief. "God Taehyung, you are so full of yourself! Hes not stuck up! And I'm not here for you!"

"Yeah right," Taehyung smile sarcastically. "So, hyung told you I asked and the next show you brought a man over? Please Y/N, have some pride,"

"What are you even talking about? Yoongs never talked about you. At all! Im here becaus-"

"Oh Taehyung, you have already met," his manager interrupted the conversation and bows to Y/N as Hyun Dae join her side. "Okay guys, gather round. I think all of you must already know about The Empire. As you know, their company owns and organized all show events in Korea and is one of the biggest in the music industry, among others. The president cant make it, so his daughter is here instead. And she and her fiancee just wants to meet all the artists her tonight to express their gratitude,"

Y/N and Hyun Dae bows and smiles to everyone as Taehyung stands frozen in place, the only thing he can hear is 'fiance'. Y/N is... engaged?

And... shes an heir?

"You and me Y/N... we are just worlds apart,"

Yeah, they are worlds apart. He was right. But the truth is, Taehyung is the one whos way beneath her.

/////

"Lets go, lets go peopleeee," Namjoon clapped his hands a sign for them to get moving. Taehyung and the rest of the members climbed up their black van, still yawning from having to wake up early in the morning. They are off to another country for a month for their variety show shoot. A special content, the management said. Something to do with their new sponsors. Taehyung never really pay attention to all the boring details, all he knows is, he will do what he is asked to do, no question asked.

But as they land and making their way out from their private plane, Taehyung, still half asleep, need to take a double take when he saw Y/N and her fiance at the arrivals, standing atound with the crew, their luggage all around them.

"H-hyung?" He nervously tapped Yoongi's shoulder.

"What?" Yoongi grumbled, still cranky from being awaken from his beauty sleep on the plane.

"Are my eyes playing tricks on me or is that uh... Y/N?" Taehyung really wished he has gone crazy. Thats he is seeing things. That Yoongi will look at him funny and tell him theres no Y/N. And Yoongi did look at him funny, but his answer is totally not what hes expecting.

"Dont you know? Her father's company is our new sponsor for the show and they are here to monitor the shoot,"

Taehyung stopped in his tracks. He dont know why the news startled him. It shouldnt be affecting him at all. Right? Even he dont understand what he is feeling as he looked over to Y/N and Hyun Dae smiling at each other. Anger? Sadness? Happy? He cant be sure. But one thing he knows for sure, its going to be one hell of a month.

/////

"So... you arent going to tell me that you are engaged?" Taehyung jogged lightly, to catch up with Y/N whom he saw is taking a morning walk from his hotel roon window. They have free schedule for the first day and what luck, the first thing he saw this morning is Y/N, alone. Without that stupid chaebol.

"Oh, uh hi Taehyung," Y/N, startled at his presence, give a small smile and a polite bow.

"Hi Y/N," he smile. Honestly, he missed her. Well, they were pretty close before. As friends. Yes, of course as friends and nothing more! Taehyung reminded himself. "But seriously, you are never going to tell me you are engaged?"

"Do I have to?" Y/N raised an eyebrow. "I mean, I'm not even sure if I'm your friend or yoongis friend or whatever, you know? And I dont think you be interested to know anyway," she picked up her pace but Taehyung managed to catch up.

"What do you mean?! Of course I wanna know! And of course we are friends! And you didnt think to tell me that you father own half of Korea's music industry?" He chuckled, trying to lighten the mood.

"Well, you never ask. And I'm not one to go around telling people my family history Tae," she shrugged. "Afterall, why would a worldstar want to know about someone who is from a different world than him, right?"

Okay, he deserved that.

"Okay, Y/N, look," he pull her hand, stopping her from walking. "I am sorry about what I said that day. I dont know what I was thinking. I was startled by your confession. To be honest, the months I spent without seeing you at all, well... I missed you. I miss you, okay?"

Y/N sighed. Why is he doing this to her? Her heart is still recovering. Still trying to erased every love she felt for him.

"We are going to spend a whole month working together. Stuck in a small island. Why dont we be friends again? Hmm?" He made his famous puppy eyes, blinking his eyes rapidly, lips pouting. "Pleaaaase? Taetae is sorrryy,"

Y/N tried to keep a sttaight face but burst out laughing. She can never say no to that face.

"Fine Tae. You know I cant resist that stupid face," she laughs.

"So, friends?" Taehyung held out a hand and Y/N shakes it.

"Of course, friends,"

As he shakes her hand, smiling ear to ear, Taehyung realized, he had never felt this happy, and it scared him.

/////

They might have rekindled their friendship, but Taehyung couldnt get even 10 minutes alone with her without being disturbed by Yoongi or Hyun Dae, and its pissing him off. Worse, he have to watch all the romantic moments between the two love birds, and trust him, Hyun Dae is really not afraid to show his affection, its making him wants to throw up.

Suprising Y/N with flowers on set, setting up a special candle light dinner when the whole crew is eating, suddenly gets on stage in the middle of dinner and sing her a song. And that motherfucker can even play a guitar and he look damn good playing it too. Taehyung swore all the girls there are swooning over him. But what he hates most is all the admiring whispers.

"Y/N is so lucky"

"Hyun Dae is the perfect guy"

"I wish I was Y/N"

Urghhh. Annoying.

It also doesnt help that his relationship with Oraia has gone stale. Yeah, they text everyday, call each other every night. But nothing she says interest him. Taehyung mostly tune out whatever shes saying during their phone calls, eyes focusing on what Y/N is doing. The way she laughs when she talks to someone, her clusmy ways of doing things, her passion while working. All that is more interesting to him than his own girlfriend. His supppsedly perfect, beautiful, girlfriend.

It must be the island. He hasnt seen Oraia for almost a month now, and hes stuck here for all that time. Of course it will put a strain on his relationship. Yes, that must be it.

But as his heart bubbles with jealousy as he watches Y/N and Hyun Dae running around the beach, Hyun Dae catching Y/N by the waist and lift her up to kiss her, Taehyung knows for sure, that it is definitely not it.

/////

Taehyung tossed and turned for hours and after eventually still failing to fall asleep, he decide to take a walk by the beach. The moon is out and the breeze is welcoming. Its a good night to walk and collect his thoughts.

As he walked slowly along the beach, the cool air blowing his hair, he saw a figure sitting alone by the beach, eyes closed, enjoying the midnight breeze. Taehyung immediately smile.

Y/N.

"Hey," he approached her slowly and smile.

"Oh, Tae. Hi," she smiled back. "What are you doing here at this hour?"

"I cant sleep. What about you? Isnt it dangerous for a pretty girl to be alone so late at night?" He smile.

Y/N laughs.

"Its a private island Tae. I think its kinda safe. And you know I usually cant sleep and the sound of the ocean calms me down,"

Taehyung does know that. Back to the days when they use to spend so much time together, they always sit by the beach and talked. Well, usually, he will be the one who do the talking, because all he cares about is himself. And his problems. And Y/N always listen. To all his weird ramblings, his peculiar thoughts that people usually laugh at. Even Oraia sometimes makes fun of him. But Y/N listen to them all. Understand him even. Why didnt he realized that before?

"Well... can I join you?"

"Of course. Have a seat," she patted down the spot besides her and Taehyung makes himself comfortable. They talked and talked, laughter filled up the night air and Taehyung cant seem to care about anything else other than that moment.

"Oh god, my tummy is hurting from laughing so much," Y/N said, still giggling from what Taehyung said. "I forgot how funny and weird you are Taetaeee,"

Taehyung smile and looked at her, staring deeply at her laughing face.

"Its nice,"

"What is?" Y/N who has stopped laughing, asked him, confused.

"Hearing you call me Taetae again," he smile, making Y/N blushed.

"W-well, that is your name,"

"Yeah, yeah. It is," Taehyung smile, still staring at her. "Y/N? Are you happy?"

"Right now? Yeah I am. We have been laughing for hours Tae. Of course Im happy. Whats wrong with you?" Y/N giggles, trying to toned down the awkwardness shes starting to feel.

"No. I mean, are you happy? Like really happy? With Hyun Dae? Does he makes you happy?"

"H-hyun Dae?" Y/N was taken aback from the sudden question. "Uhh, of course I am, hes my fiance, of course he makes me happy Tae,"

"Really? Then why did you stutter?" Taehyung still looks at her, straight into her eyes with his sharp gaze.

"I- I did not stutter! Whats wrong with you Tae? You are being weird. But not normal weird," Y/N starts to dust off the sand off her, preparing to get up. "Its getting late. We should go in,"

Taehyung grab her hands, standing up with her.

"Do you love him? Do you love Hyun Dae?"

"Why are you asking me that Tae? You are being weird!" Y/N tries to shake off his grip but he held on tighter.

"Answer the question Y/N. Do you love him?"

"Hyun Dae is amazing! He cares for me. He loves me. He knows what I like, sweet, romantic, p-"

"But do you love him?"

"I-I," Y/N stuttered. "I dont need to answer that!" Y/N tries to pull her hand again but to no avail.

"You cant answer it because you dont love him. And you cant lie to me," Taehyung smile.

"You are crazy. Let my hand go Tae," Y/N insisted. "It has nothing to do with you!"

"But it does Y/N. It does, because you dont love him. Because you love me," Taehyung state matter of factly. "You always did and you always will Y/N,"

Y/N was speechless, shocked, surprised, that Taehyung would bring it up again. Tears starts to sting her eyes. She has never felt more hummiliated. Is Taehyung making fun of her? Of her feelings? She thought they were friends again. Why is he doing this to her?

"Just let me go!"

"I cant, and I wont,"

"Why?!" Y/N is crying now. She dont understand why Taehyung is being this way. "To hummiliate me even more? To make fun of my feelings for you?"

"What? No!" Taehyung cant believe Y/N would think of him to be that cruel. But maybe he deserved it. "Because I love you Y/N!" Taehyung pull her hands, making her fall into his arms and he immediately cup her face and captured her lips with hers. The kiss has never felt more electricfying. Taehyung felt goosebump all over his body, he hears fireworks went off everywhere. And right at that moment, he knows that hes in love.

But the moment only last for a split second when Y/N, tears already spilled down her cheeks pushed him away hard and slapped him across the face.

"Get away from me Kim Taehyung!"

Was the last word she screamed out before she ran away into the darkness.

/////

Taehyung almost went crazy trying to finish the rest of the shooting. After that fateful night, Y/N took the earliest flight home the next morning, leaving Taehyung with no way to contact her at all. No reply to his texts or his calls and he cant even get away from his stupid schedule to find her at home. He was lost.

Its the very first time in his life that he has seen things so clearly. He is in love with Y/N. And she left him being so lost.

It also doesnt help that after Taehyung told Oraia that he wants to break up, his crazy ex girlfriend bombared his calls, his texts, his friends, even his manager with texts begging to take her back. She even went so far as to include the media, giving sad interviews, crying her eyes out. Taehyung wondered how he didnt notice how crazy Oraia is. Maybe its true what they said, love is blind. But what they had isnt love. It never was. They both know they got together just because they seemed to look perfect for each other. Thats not love, and Oraia is just mad that shes no longer one half of the industry perfect couple.

/////

"Hey Tae?" Yoongi knocks on his hotel room, peeking his head. Theres still a week left of shooting, but Taehyung's heart is no where in it. All he wanted to do is to go back home, find Y/N and begged for her forgiveness until she takes her back. Hes going to convince her that he loves her. He really do. And not because he pity her, or because hes jealous of her relationship with Hyun Dae, but because he just realized it now. That from that moment he asked her where the bathroom is, hes already in love. Y/N has already caught his eyes, and heart from that first night at the concert, but he is too busy chasing his fame and title to realized it.

And now it might be too late.

Taehyung might have already lost the love of his life, forever.

"Yeah hyung?" Yoongi make his way in and sit on Taehyung's bed.

"Did something happen between you and Y/N? Did she going back home early has anything to do with you?"

Taehyung looked at his hyung with tired eyes. No longer bother to pretend or curious why his hyung us asking.

I told her I love her...." Taehyung said, tears stinging his eyes at the memory. "And she thinks I'm just playing her,"

Yoongi sighed.

"Are you?"

Taehyung sits up and hugs a pillow, looking at Yoongi with teary eyes.

"No hyung. Of course not. I really do love her. I love her so much. Im just too stupid to realized it then," he sniffles. "And now, I have to wait until this stupid shoot is over to win her back hyung, because shes not answering my calls or my texts. And I swear hyung, I will do everything to win her back from that Hyun Dae,"

Yoongi sighs again, looking away before looking back at the younger man.

"Tae... Y/N is getting married today. She suddenly said she wants to get married as soon as possible, doesnt matter if its a small wedding. She just wants to get married. Today,"

Taehyung looked at his hyung, eyes widen, not believing what hes hearing.

"I-I have to go hyung," he suddenly gets up.

"Go where Tae? What are you doing?"

Taehyung grabs his bag, not thinking anymore.

"To stop the wedding hyung, to win back the love of my life,"

/////

Y/N looks at her reflection in the mirror. Even with last minute preparations, her mother managed to do everything perfectly. Her dress, her makeup, her hair, her flowers, even her dressing room is perfect. Y/N smile to her reflection. But she knows its only superficial. Its a smile she puts on to convince everyone, to convince herself, that shes making the right decision. The right choice.

That shes happy.

And she know Hyun Dae will make her happy.

He have to.

"Dont marry him,"

Y/N turns around to find Kim Taehyung by the door. His hair a mess, shirt crumpled, eyes bloodshot from crying.

"T-Tae..."

"Dont marry him Y/N," he move closer to her. "Dont do it. Please. Please Y/N,"

"Taehyung, what are you doing here?" Y/N feel tears prickling her eyes. Why is he here. Why now? Why today?

"To tell you I love you Y/N," Taehyung sniffles and take her hand. "T-to tell you to not marry him. Dont marry him Y/N,"

"I-I cant Tae," Y/N shakes her head. "Hyun Dae deserves all the happiness in the world. He treats me so good Tae,"

"Then what about you? You deserve happiness too. Happiness with me Y/N,"

Y/N close her eyes and shakes her head. Why is Taehyung telling her all the things shes dying to hear before? But its all too late now. Too late.

"Marry me Y/N. Marry me. And I'll make you the happiest woman in the world. Marry me," Taehyung sobs and kneel down on his knees, begging, hand still holding hers.

Y/N starts to shake, trying to hold in her tears but it rolled out anyway, flooding her face.

"D-dont do this to me Tae. You dont love me. You dont. You dont!"

"I love you Y/N. I love you I love you I love you! I know I realized it too late. And thats my mistake. But I swear to you, that I'll spend forever making it up to you," Taehyung begs desperately. He cant lose her. He cant! "Please. Please, dont marry him Y/N. Please..."

Y/N closes her eyes. Tears rolling down her face, no intention of stopping. She wanted to say yes. God, how she wanted to say yes. How easy it would be. To be with the man he love. The man he had dreamed of. But she cant. Its not fair to Hyun Dae. And its not fair to her. To her heart that Taehyung has broken to pieces.

"Im sorry Taehyung... I cant," Y/N let go of his hand, tears dropping on the floor, wetting her beautiful white dress.

Taehyung felt like his whole world shattered to pieces. Thats it. Just two words. "I cant" and he lost her. He lost the love of his life.

After felt like an eternity, he stood up, face still wet with tears but a smile on his face.

"You look beautiful Y/N," he smile. "You always do.

Y/N sobs hard, her whole body shakes.

"Be happy Y/N. Hes an idiot if he dont take care of you. If he hurt you like I do. Hes an absolute idiot," Taehyung smile and carressed her face softly. "Be happy my princess. And when the time comes, come back to me. I'll always be waiting Y/N, because you are my true love, and we will always find our way back to each other,"

Taehyung placed a long, deep kiss on her forehead, eyes closed as tears flows down, knowing he has lost the love of his life, trying to savor the feel of her in his memories.

"I love you Y/N. And I'll wait for you, forever," he smile one last time as he turns around and walk away, leaving Y/N drenched in her tears.

/////

5 YEARS LATER

"Woohoooo, last concert for this tour guys, good job!" The members high five each other as they make their way into the dressing room backstage. Taehyung laughs and make his way into his own personal room, exhausted from a show well done.

"Hi, do you know where the bathroom is?"

Taehyung stopped in his track at the sound of the voice. A voice so familiar. A voice that haunts his dream for years. A voice that he never forgets.

He looks up, and there she is. Smiling at him.

"Y-Y/N?"

Y/N nods, giggling.

"Y/N?!" Taehyung runs to her and engulf her in a hug. "I am not dreaming am I? A-are you really here?"

Y/N giggles again.

"Its me Tae. Real life me. Im real,"

"W-why? H-how?"

"Well, if Im not mistaken, 5 years ago, someone told me that we will always find our way back to each other. And that he will wait for me, forever. Im just checking if he still keeps his promise," Y/N grins.

Taehyung hugs her tight.

"You dont know how I dream of this day every single day Y/N. How I waited to see you again. To feel you again. To hear your voice again," Taehyung hugs her, not letting go.

"Ive come back Taehyung. Ive come back to you,"

Taehyung cant believe this is happening. Then he remembered something. And although its something hes dreading to ask, he knows he has to know.

"H-Hyun Dae?"

Y/N smile at his nervous state. She has never seen someone so adorable. God, shes just so in love with him.

"We were never married Tae. When you came that day... everything changed. I didnt marry him. I couldnt. Not when I know my heart belongs to you. And Hyun Dae... he knows it too. And he loves me enough to let me find my own happiness,"

"W-what?"

"Im sorry it took so long. But I need to find myself. To really understand my feelings, your feelings... but Im here now, Taehyung... if you still want me..."

Taehyung grins.

"Is that even a question my love?"

Y/N giggles at the way he calls her.

"I love you Y/N. Since that first night we met. I have been yours. Im sorry for hurting you. Im sorry for my mistakes. Im sorry fo-"

"Shhhh," she puts a finger on his lips. "It doesnt matter anymore Tae. All of it doesnt matter anymore," she smile. "Im here now. You are here now. And I, I love you Kim Taehyung,"

Taehyung grins. Such word has never felt so sweet. He felt happiness bubbling inside his chest. And in the first time in 5 years, he really mean it.

"I love you Y/N, my love, my soulmate,"

"I love you Taehyung. You really had me at bathroom," she giggles.

"Oh shut up," Taehyung laughs and lifts her up, wrapping her legs around him. "Just shut up and kiss me. Just kiss me baby,"

And she really did.

#bts #bangtan boys #bangtan seonyeondan #bts fiction #bts fanfic #kim taehyung #bts v #taehyung scenario #taehyung angst #taehyung fiction #kpop #kpop fanfic #kpop scenario #bts jungkook #jeon jungkook #jungkook fanfic #jungkook angst

92 notes · View notes

thomothysdoodles · 4 years ago

Note

1, 3, 4, 5, 6, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 14, 17, 18, 20, 23, 26, 17, 28, 31, 32, 35, 37, 38, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60, 61, 62, 63, 64, 65, 66, 67,, 68, 69, 70, 71, 73, 74, 75, 85, 86, 87, 88, 90, 92, 93, 94, 95, 96, 98

I am so sorry, I literally have no idea what came over me

Wow Lulu you really said ‘let’s ask this bitch EVERYTHING’. I love it tho lmao. Since it’s long imma put it under the cut tho

4. How did your elementary school teachers describe you?

“A pleasure to have in class, a bit lost in their mind, if they committed and focused more they’d excell but they settle for good grades”

From elementary to high school lol

5. Do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

I like soda cans

6. Pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

Somewhere between tomboy and grunge I think

8. Movies or tv shows?

Tv shows

9. Favorite smell in the summer?

Sunscreen and freshly baked bread

11. What do you have for breakfast on an average day?

A cup of milk with some cereal or biscuits. For the past month I’ve been following the keto diet tho, and I usually are some ricotta with peanut butter for breakfast

12. Name of your favorite playlist?

“Sad but vibing” lol

14. Favorite non chocolate candy?

Strawberry lollipops

17. Most frequently worn pair of shoes?

A black vans pair, I bought em in August but the left one already got a hole on the front 😤

18. Ideal weather?

Cloudy but not too windy or cold. I just don’t like the sunlight in my face

20. Preferred place to write?

On my phone’s notes app lol, I’ve got almost two thousand notes in here

23. Strange habits?

I hide stuff in my room with no apparent reason. I’ve got money stashed around my room in four different points lol

26. Favorite activity to do in warm weather?

Given the chance, I like to race with my bike to get some refreshing wind

27. Favorite activity to do in cold weather?

Cozy up in a blanket and watch some tv

28. Five songs to describe you.

Karma— AJR

Ultimately— Khai Dreams

Putting a spin on Slow Dancing in the Dark— egg

Mars— YungBlud

Gotta be a Reason— Alec Benjamin

31. What outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

Black jeans, black sturdy boots, and a silly little hoodie lmao

32. Top five favorite vines?

‘DONT FUCK WITH ME, IVE GOT THE POWER OF GOD AND ANIME ON MY SIDE— AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA’

‘Let me see what you have!’ ‘A KNIFE!’ ‘NO!!!’

‘Hey bro, what do you wanna eat?’ (‘The souuuls of my enemies’) ‘A bagel’ (‘NOOO’) ‘..two bagels.’

FR E SH A VOCA DO

‘Two shots of vodka..’ *pours half a bottle of vodka*

35. Average time you fall asleep?

I am terrible at this. I love sleeping but I also love feeling ✨ unbothered ✨ doing whatever I want in the middle of the night. So, never before 3am usually

37. Suitcase or duffel bag?

Suitcase

38. Lemonade or tea?

Tea

40. Weirdest thing to happen at your school?

I dunno how weird it is, but I always found peculiar that there were cigarette butts on the ceiling of the bathrooms. Like, seven feet tall ceilings. How did those cigs get there??

41. Last person you texted?

My best friend to tell her that my sister found a way to let me watch supernatural on American Netflix >:3c

42. Jacket pockets or pant pockets?

Jacket pockets

43. Hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?

Hoodie and/or jean jacket

44. Favorite scent for soap?

I dunno. Talcum powder I think

45. Which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

Superhero

46. Most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

Tee and boxers. Sometimes socks too

48. If you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

Umh. Clementines maybe. Easy to peel, sweet but also not, sometimes with seeds.. and some people loathe the little white stripes they have and they spend hours peeling those away

49. What saying or quote do you live by?

“Like any / unloved thing, I don’t know if I’m real /when I’m not being touched.” —Natalie Wee

50. What made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

My best friends always make me wheeze, it can be the stupidest dumbest thing ever, I’m really fucking easy to amuse lol

51. current stresses?

My driver license my driver license my driver license my driver license my driver license my d

52. Favorite font?

I have no idea. This one? Lol

53. What is the current state of your hands?

Good. I just cut my nails, I really wanna put some nail polish but my dad comes back home tomorrow and he always looks me weird when I put it

55. Favorite fairy tail?

The little mermaid

56. Favorite tradition?

A tradition I have with my friends is that when we celebrate someone’s birthday, we go to the thrift shop and buy them stupid stuff to wear or put on. On my birthday a couple days ago I had to wear playboy bunny ears and a black glittery bow tie lol. Once I bought my best friend a tiny pirate hat, and for another my friend took a boa with pink feathers lol

57. The 3 biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

Mmmh

I’m having a hard time with my parents since I dropped out of uni but I think I’m starting to overcome it finally

When my parents were about to divorce and in was dreading the idea of moving from this city

That time in middle school I spent a couple weeks at the hospital to run a bunch of neurological tests

58. Four talents you’re proud having?

I’m pretty good at multitasking

It’s very difficult to enrage me (yes I consider it a talent)

I can juggle lol

I can read in moving cars/trains etc without getting sick :D

59. If you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

“What the f—“

61. Favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/ etc?

“Happiness isn't in the having. It's just in the being. It's in just saying it.” Aka Castiel’s love confession (OF COURSE I WAS GONNA SAY SOMETHING DESTIEL RELATED)

62. Seven characters you relate to?

No specific order:

Dean Winchester

Eric Derekson

Jake Peralta

Doug Eiffel (👀)

Tony Stark

Klaus Hargreeves

Diego Hargreeves

63. Five songs that would play in your club?

Anything from P!ATD

Bang!— AJR

Natural— Imagine Dragons

Anything from Set It Off

Maniac— Conan Gray

64. Favorite website from your childhood?

I didn’t use computers in my childhood lol

66. Favorite flower(s)?

Fresias 💕

67. Good luck charms?

I used to keep in my pocket a little hazelnut my dad gave me once telling me that it was a good luck charm. I took it away tho. I dunno, maybe my rings

68. Worst flavor of any food of drink you’ve ever tried?

I have to admit I never tasted it, but the smell of truffle literally makes me gag, so that

69. A fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?

Apparently your love language is both the one you give AND want love, and also the one you most lacked growing up. So. Mull that over.

70. Left or right handed?

Rightie

71. Least favorite pattern?

Holey ones. Make my sight go double

74. At what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an Advil of ibuprofen?

A seven I guess. I usually try to sleep off anything I have, I hate to take medicines, and loathe to call the doctor lol

75. When did you lose your first tooth?

Around.. six I think?

85. Fairy tails or mythology?

Mythology forever

86. Cookies or cupcakes?

Cookies 🍪

87. Your greatest fear?

That the other shoe will drop and I’ll be alone and lonely

88. Your greatest wish?

To have enough stubbornness to do what I wish to do without getting demoralized so easily

90. Luckiest mistake?

Me and one of my best friends got to know each other through other common friends, and once they both couldn’t come and we ended up spending the day together. We had lots of fun, but we also got drunk and I lost my mcfreaking watch lmao

92. Lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

Lamps

94. Favorite season?

Winter ❄️

95. Favorite app on your phone?

Tumblr! (And the music one. And the podcasts one. And— jk lol)

#ask thomothy personal stuff!#lulu chaos incarnation #not a doodle #I had to think long and hard for some of these questions

4 notes · View notes

mojavehearts · 5 years ago

Text

Fallout 4 Companions react to synth of soles spouse

ROMANCED

REQUESTED!

(Did only the romanceable companions for this one! I’m sorry if anyone’s upset that others like nick, deacon ECT weren't included :((( I would happily add them if it was really wanted though :)) )

(also to who requested it I’m sorry it took so long ! xx)

I tried to base this one on their personalities/how ive seen them ingame deal with things

(also ‘some’ of these assume that Sole took in Synth Shaun but if your sole didn’t just...Disregard it hsjdkfj)

Cait:

Cait LOVED just walking around with Sole, every-so-often fighting some raiders or supermutants or feral ghoul. But she never thought that on their way back, upon entering Sanctuary their Spouse would be standing right at the gate waiting for them, but this couldn’t be ? They were dead...Right? Sole took Cait to see their body...Cait was unimaginably scared and already heartbroken, would Sole leave her now? what would happen to them, to her and the person she loved so much, her rock. Sole was just as shocked as Cait was turning to Cait and then back to their presumed dead Spouse, but sole knew deep down it wasn’t them, couldn’t be. ‘’Cait, go home and wait for me can you? I promise ill be back soon’’ every bone in Cait’s body wanted to refuse but she didn’t she walked on and hated herself for it, she sat on the couch legs shaking, picking at her nails and biting at her fingers for what felt like forever until she heard the door open, she immediately turned her head to the sound, sole stood there eyes deep and murky Sole flopped down beside Cait with a sigh and then turned to her with a sad smile ‘’Synth...Shaun definitely has his father/mother’s sense of humour..’’ they laughed dryly and Cait swallows deeply ‘’So ..You just gonna throw me away then?’’ Sole raises an eyebrow at Cait ‘’Why in gods name would I do that Cait? ‘’ ‘’Synth or not they’re your husband/wife, that would mean more to you than me’’ Sole shook their head, pulling Cait close with a sigh ‘’It’s not like that, you’re what matters to me now alright?, I love you Cait’’ That was enough for cait, usually she would be flying off the rails, breaking things, beating on their spouse, but the way Sole said what they said she believed it.

Curie:

(why aren't there enough gifs out there of this BEAUTIFUL woman I cant omg)

Curie stood there, frozen. staring deep into the eyes of Soles ‘dead’ spouse as they looked around the room curiously, Sole had gone out for the day and Curie was just doing some housework when they casually walked in, she didn’t make a sound and they finally turned and jumped with a yelp, making curie scream out, then they both just looked at each other wide eyed and breathing heavy, she had half expected them to hurt her or yell at her or something for being in their spouses house, pictures of Curie and Sole were framed basically all over the house, it didn't take a genius to realise what was going on, but their spouse smiled at her ‘’Thank you, for taking care of Him/Her, when I was created I was just made to help...But I got free I wanted to know who ‘I’ was or who I am or who I was meant to be but I know now that I may be have the same body, same memories. But I assure you I’m not here to damage this relationship I may have the same body, but I’m a different person’’ Curie was pleased and looked back to them with a soft smile, maybe just maybe it would be okay ‘’Let me make you something to eat’’

Danse:

Danse wanted to take Shaun out for the day, teach him how to shoot and how to hunt. Sole had insisted that he and Shaun bond more and Danse NEVER says no to Sole, not that he’d want to Shaun was a lovely kid, a little soft around the edges but he’s sure he would...Uh grow? into a fine man

Danse had helped Shaun learn how to make his bullet land better from afar and he was doing quite well shot a mongrel dog from a few feet away behind a bush ‘’Congratulations soldier, Ill go bring it over maybe your mother/father will mount it, ‘Shaun’s first big kill’ you know that sounds pretty violent actually’’ Shaun laughed a little and took a seat in the ground Danse smiles at him and ruffles his hair ‘’Ill be right back buddy, you keep practicing’’ It wasn’t exactly to far and he made sure Shaun was still in his sights and that he could hear more practice shots but as he was walking back he noticed them stop he walked a little faster and then dropped the carcass ...Was that...Shaun was laughing and smiling up at the man/woman ‘’Danse! look! they must have made them too!’’ Danse was shocked and quite disturbed he watched as their spouse stood and turned to him, a slight smile on their face ‘’Shaun was telling me all about you, you’re raising him well’’ Danse felt his chest slowly untighten, the BOS paladin in him wanted to believe this was a way to hurt him, hurt Sole, but he knew he and this person were one and the same now, but it still stung so he just brushed them off and walked past them to check up on Shaun ‘’I wouldn’t hurt him, I know he’s not technically my son, but he’s still just a boy’’ for some reason the words ‘my son’ struck Danse hard in the chest and he stood ‘’I don’t know why you are here but you’d better leave, Sole has moved on. For good’’ Danse couldn’t control himself in that moment and the other just sighed ‘’I understand, but there is not were else for me, I thought, I think maybe Sole can help’’ Danse’s nostrils flare slightly ‘’You get your help but you stay away from my family alright’’

Hancock:

(im sad the only gif of him smoking I could find was a modded version of him :(( )

Hancock was back in Good Neighbour ‘Mayoral’ business and such, he was just enjoying a cigarette when his doors slammed open, Fahrenheit immediately jumps up to defend Hancock, when he then notices who it is ‘’What the-’’ ‘’You stay away from my wife/husband!’’ they yelled at him, practically spewing venom Fahrenheit turns to Hancock eyes wide as if to say ‘what the fuck I thought this guy/chick was dead!’ he just waves her away ‘’It alright, I’m sure we can talk about this like adults’’ he puts out his cigarette and stands slowly ‘’You stay away from my partner!, you...UGH what even are you’’ Hancock was used to people saying things like this so it didn't really affect him all that much ‘’Hey, don't piss me off are you forgettin’ I got guards here?, look I don't know why you’re so upset you’ve been ‘dead’ for years now, me and sole got a whole thing goin on’’ ‘’dead?...I’m not...dead!’’ Hancock tilts his head to the side, what the hell was going on here ‘’Sole saw you die friend, back in the vault’’ ‘’what?! no we got out and then the institute took us in but they went missing and they couldn’t fine them!, that's where I woke up and then someone destroyed it! after asking around I find out they’re this whole new person and that they’re with...You?!’’ Hancock knew then what was going on and sighed softly, leaning up against the wall ‘’hate to break it to ya buddy you’ve been dead for 60 plus years’’ he then chuckles ‘’come to think of it I think its 69 now...Damn I’m old’’ their spouse had had enough ‘’stop with this funny business! I was in the army/I was a lawyer!’’ Hancock groaned slightly and stood up straight ‘’You want proof? then deal with me for a little while and ill show you’’

it was...Long and tedious and frankly very awkward but they were finally in the vault, staring back at the ‘real’ spouse ‘’I...Oh my god I think I’m going to be sick..’’ Hancock nods in agreement ‘’Sole wanted to bury ya but things always get in the way, listen I never met to take em from ya but there’s some things you gotta know now’’

MacCready:

MacCready and Sole were having a great time together, watching Shaun and Duncan play when suddenly someone came running up to them embracing Sole quickly Mac gasped out and pulled out his sniper ‘’Oh honey! I’ve been looking everywhere for you I just woke up, somewhere I-I I don’t even know how to explain I...You look so different-’’ they then trail off and turn to Mac holding a gun to their head in shock ‘’Hey buddy put it away this is my wife/husband’’ Maccready looks at them and then Sole helplessly and then to Duncan and Shaun and then frowns deeply slowly holstering his weapon ‘’I get it...’’ he didn't know if he should laugh or cry, frankly he didn’t even know what he would have done if Lucy had come back would he go back? he loves Sole with his whole being but...’’No, I’m not’’ Sole blurts out ‘’What!?’’ both their spouse and Mac say at the same time in shock ‘’I’m married Nate/Nora, to Robert.’’ Sole takes MacCready’s arm and holds it, their spouse looks at them both in shock and Mac could have just melted at that moment, he was on cloud nine but his conscious spoke out ‘’But...Sole they’re your-’’ ‘’I don't care who they are or were or... whatever!, I saw them DIE so I know for a fact that its not...Really them anyway, even if they were that isn't me anymore, I love YOU’’ and here comes the heart eyes, he couldn't help but to be real smug about it either smirking slightly at their ex they look on in confusion, this was gonna take a lot of explaining

Preston:

It was during the raid on the institute people yelling and shooting, Preston was full of fury and love his newly found relationship with sole had really helped him gain a lot of confidence back in himself, they helped him become the man he wanted to be, well the man he always was and he couldn’t thank them enough for that really.

They ran together into a room guns at the ready to fire but when they walked in there was a man/woman holding up their arms

Sole puts their weapon down in shock ‘’Preston...look’’ Preston takes a good look at them and his eyes widen he turns back to sole and they share a glance ‘’P-Please don’t kill me’’ they didn’t recognise him/her, Preston felt bad for feeling relief that they didn't but he was weighing the odds of Sole leaving him already ‘’Lets take them with us, get them to safety...Please I can’t think of them dying again, even if its not them’’ Sole whispered to Preston softly, the flawed part of him was anxious and wanted to leave them there, but the better part of him knew that wasn’t what he was like and he nodded at Sole, they went through the rest of the Institute wiping it clean at the end Sole had even seen the synth version of their son, which made them go into hysterics, sobbing and holding him close. It was a good and bad day for them both

but also relieving

Preston strutted around Sanctuary later that day, anxious as hell, worrying if Sole wanted to leave him and start again with their son and husband/wife so when a hand came down on his shoulder he jumped ‘’Oh god preston im sorry didn’t mean to sneak up on you’’ Sole stared at him with gentle eyes and he could have fallen inlove all over again ‘’Babe I-’’ Preston sighed not being able to let out the words he wanted to, Sole shook their head slowly ‘’You’re an open book you know that? I love you, now come home Shaun needs to formally meet you’’ Sole kisses him softly on the nose and pats his chest, walking away slowly

and his worries all melted away

Piper:

Piper was writing a new paper, it was all she had seemed to do lately since sole was out on this strange railroad mission (if your sole didn’t side with the railroad/didn't join it or anything just change it to B.O.S or whatever you’d like) that they knew they would be gone a while for, it had been two weeks or so now and Piper missed them ...Like really bad, so she was writing paper after paper to try and keep her mind elsewhere, but resting up on their bed at Homeplate she just couldn’t tonight, she wondered if they were okay if they were eating or sleeping enough, if they were hurt. It was a lot to take and she wondered if she needed a cigarette

but then the door squeaked open ‘’P? you here?’’

‘‘Blue!’‘

Piper jumped up excitedly and raced down the stairs squeezing Sole into a tight hug ‘’I missed you too Piper, but hey you better look at what I found’’ Piper was confused and slowly let go of Sole, her eyes widen when she’s met face to face with an exact copy of their ex, she knew it couldn’t have been them, because sole buried them in Sanctuary ages ago ‘’Blue I- what’’ she was lost for words to be honest

‘‘Oh believe me I was just as shocked when I found them, there was this whole synth refuge up in the capital wasteland! they all had the mind wipe but no face change ...I had wondered why and then realised all of those people were replicas of dead spouses from my time...a bit Sick right? they were the newest one’‘ Sole almost chuckled as their ‘ex spouse’ walked around eyeing everything ‘‘I just ...wow Blue! wait... you ain’t leaving me right...Right?!’‘ Piper joked at first but then realised the gravity of the situation Sole laughed and took her hand softly raising it up to kiss her knuckles ‘‘oh my god P’‘

(the fact that you can tell which ones I wrote first and then which I wrote after I woke up from my intense sleep fjfhfffdhsj) (Im sorry again for the wait! )

#fallout 4 #fo4 #f4 #paladin danse #piper wright #preston garvey #hancock #maccready #cait #curie #cait fallout 4 #curie fallout 4 #sole survivor #bethesda #fallout reactions #fallout reaction #fallout companions #fallout 4 companions

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maidenof-thesea · 5 years ago

Text

Snakes & Butterflies | Part IV

Pairing: Jimin x Reader

Genre: Soulmate Au!, Fluff, Angst, Smut (Maybe, still debating)

Words: 2.7k

Warnings: minor swearing, seductive!Jin(I just had to)

Note: Hi guys! Here’s part 4! I really struggled with this chapter to be honest. I really want to paint this picture of this universe that I have in mind because it will be important on how it reflects upon Jimin and the MC’s relationship, but I don’t want that too bore you guys too much. But enough of that! Hear you go! Enjoy!

Reminder: * conversations in Korean *

Jimin

This can not be happening. This is what I was afraid of. This is why I avoided America all these years. Because of her. I could still feel her warmth on my fingers. I need to leave. Right now.

“Jimin,” Taehyung said a little out of breath. “What’s the matter? Jungkook said you would be happy to see her!”

“What?” I said whirling around to face him. “You knew this whole time?”

“Jungkookie said that it was gonna be a surprise!”

“Hyung,” Jungkook said with Namjoon right behind him. “I can explain.”

“There’s no need,” I said, not meeting his eyes. “I’m gonna have to leave.”

“What?!” Taehyung and Jungkook said, stepping towards me.

“Jimin,” Namjoon said with an incredulous tone. “You just got here, and you see this girl and now you want to leave?”

“Who wants to leave?” Yoongi said from behind, holding Hoseok’s hand. Hoseok’s smile faltered once he detected the atmosphere.

“What’s the matter Jimin-shi?” Hoseok asked with a pout.

“Hyung,” Jungkook said, clenching fists. “You can’t leave, you have to stop running away.”

“You don’t understand,” I said frustrated. None of them will understand, their marks are not broken like mine.

“Then help us understand,” Namjoon said. “We can’t help if you won’t talk to us.”

“Is this about your Grandpa?” Taehyung asked with watery eyes. My eyes widened in shock and I looked down to avoid all their stares. Could I trust them?

“Fine,” Jungkook said, his tone laced with hurt. My head shot up so quickly only to see his eyes full of disappointment. “We always lean on you and trust you but I guess we aren’t trustworthy.”

“I’m not ready to tell you,” I said squeezing my eyes. I wouldn’t be able to handle them leaving me.

Tell no one, not even Jungkook, it’s a disgrace to be involved with human filth. You will be shunned from the clan, plus she doesn’t even want you, it’s enough that you have to wear that scar for the rest of your life

“Well you ain’t leaving until you can,” Seokjin said appearing from the trail. “I have your passport and I won’t give it back.”

“In the meantime,” Namjoon said with authority as he grasped my shoulder.. “Try not to be mean to our host, we have to live with her for two months.”

Everyone except Jungkook started to walk towards the beach to enjoy the sunset, leaving Jungkook to stand there still with his fists clenched.

“I may not know much about what happened between you and Y/N,” He said with a sigh. “But she doesn’t seem to remember anything except that we were friends. So please-”

Jungkook's phone rings, cutting him off and he picks it up right away.

“Hello,” He says answering the phone in English, causing my eyebrows to raise. “You’re gonna order pizza? Um like 5 should be okay Noona... I left your car keys in your room...yea he’s okay... Oh okay, do you want me to go with- okay bye.”

“You have her phone number?” I asked with a scoff. “Don’t you think you’re too close to the hu-”

“Please don’t refer to her as ‘the human’,” Jungkook said with his face twisted with annoyance. “You sound like that old man, old and full of hate and you’re nothing like him. And yes to answer your question, I do have her number, because unlike you, I want to be her friend.”

“Jungkook, if the elders found out,” I warned. “You won’t be able to protect her.”

“So now you’re concerned for her safety?” Jungkook said with a laugh. “You weren’t concerned earlier when you just about dropped her.”

So he did see. Now wonder he was so defensive.

“Listen, Jung-”

“No hyung, please listen,” Jungkook interjected, as he took a step closer. “Y/N was my only friend here when we lived here, besides you. I know I was like seven and that’s why I don’t remember much, which is frustrating but I do remember this: she loved us. We were only kids, we were so innocent, but I know everything changed when that old man came.”

“He’s our grandfather Jungkook,” I said rolling my eyes.

“And he’s a man from the past, stuck in his old ways.” Jungkook said, shrugging. “What I’m trying to say is that I know Y/N would have never hurt you on purpose. So please, you don’t have to be her friend but please don’t mistreat her.”

“Okay,” I said tiredly. “I won’t, under one condition.”

“Anything!” Jungkook said with enthusiasm.

“I suspect that you know more about what happened between me and Y/N,” I said, not meeting his eyes. “Can you promise you won’t tell anyone else?”

“Hyung,” Jungkook said with a mischievous grin, grasping my shoulder. “You do realize they already have their suspicions right?”

“What?” I said in surprise. “How?”

“You’re kind of dramatic hyung,” He said while running away towards the beach.

“Yah! I’m older than you! I was born first!” I yelled chasing him. “I’m your hyung, respect me!”

For the time being, everything was normal. Playing and swimming in the ocean, we were so caught up in our own lives before, that we didn’t realize we really missed each other.

As I headed to the kitchen to get to my room, another man was in the kitchen already rummaging through the fridge. He was also really beautiful, he had wide shoulders and pink plump lips. Lips that turned up when he made eye contact with me, only for them to turn downwards when he saw me wiping my tears.

“Are you okay?” He said with a thick accent.

“Yes,” I said, feeling a bit embarrassed. “Just feeling a bit tired from work. Nice to meet you. I'm Y/N, I’m your host throughout your stay.” And I gave him my hand to shake. He took my hand and brought it up to his lips, all the while maintaining eye contact with me. My heart skipped a beat and for sure my face was as red as a tomato.

“Nice to meet you, Y/N” he said patting my hand with a light laugh. “My name is Kim Seokjin. You can call me Jin for short.”

“Nice to meet you Seokjin-I mean Jin.” I said in somewhat of a daze.

“I take it you ran into Jimin,” He said, still holding my hand and rubbing my knuckles. “Jungkook mentioned you were childhood friends?”

“Yes we were,” I answered, entranced by his ministrations.

“I wonder why he never mentioned how gorgeous you are,” Jin said with a tone that I would define as seductive and with a wink he finally released my hand, leaving me in somewhat of a shocked state. He laughed at my expression and regarding me with a flirtatious smile. “Still feeling tired?”

“I-I,” I struggled to find the words. “I’m fine thank you.”

“You are very welcome, miss Y/N.” He said with a satisfied smile. I needed to leave before this beautiful man killed me by just his smile alone.

“Don’t worry about dinner,” I said, trying so hard not to stutter again. “I’ll take care of it for today, you must be tired from your flight. So you can join the others if you like?”

“Thanks cutie,” and with another wink, Jin headed out, leaving me to catch my breath. Oh my god. Nothing is more dangerous than a beautiful man that knows he is beautiful. Shaking my head from the impure thoughts I headed straight to my room to use my private bathroom to take a quick shower.

I quickly stripped and gasped. Shit. What am I gonna make, it’s already past dinner time. Should I just order pizza? How many pizzas would be okay for seven men? Jungkook would surely know. I dumped all the contents of my purse onto my bed to find my phone to call Jungkook.

“Pick up, pick up” I said impatiently looking at the clock. My favorite pizza place was gonna close soon.

“Hello?” Jungkook answered.

“Hey,” I said, balancing my phone on my shoulder as I struggled to turn the knob to the hot water. “I’m gonna order pizza, how many should I get?.. Uh huh... Okay five perfect. Wait where are my car keys, I’m gonna have to go pick them up, they're closing soon... Okay. Hey um is Jimin okay?.. Okay, no I’m okay thanks bye.”

I felt my blood rush to my face remembering how embarrassing it was to fall flat on my butt in front of Jimin, he must think I’m a loser. Which he’s not wrong, but still his behavior hurt. One step at a time. I quickly called the pizza place and profusely apologized and ordered 5 pizzas to go and that I’ll be there in ten minutes. A hurricane passed through my bathroom and next in my bedroom as I quickly got ready to go pick up the pizzas.

I must have ran a couple of red lights to make it on time. By the time I arrived out of breath, the girl at the register seemed to feel sorry for me and went to the back to retrieve my order. A pizza delivery guy came in right behind me, most likely to clock out for the night.

“Pardon me,” the pizza guy said, with a suggestive tone. “But you got a hot date tonight or something?”

“Date?” I said confused and I followed his gaze down to my outfit. In my haste, I must have put on an outfit that Jennie bought for me, which meant it was very revealing, well at least to me. It was a white tube top with frilly spaghetti straps and a pair of high-waist jeans. Sometimes I’m such a dumb ass, so I might as well be a bitch too. “Pardon me, but did your mother perhaps drop you when you were a baby?”

“W-What?” He stuttered and the girl came back with my order staring at us with wide eyes.

“How much do I owe you?” I asked the girl with a smile, already getting ready to hand her the Airbnb credit card.

“It’s 60$, ma’am,” she said. “Would you like a receipt?”

“Yes, please.” I said reaching for the pizza. “Thank you, have a nice rest of your day.”

“Learn how to take a compliment lady,” the pizza guy muttered. “I feel bad for whoever your Soulmate is.”

“Funny I was about to say the same thing,” I said, flipping him the middle finger and leaving with my order. “Fucking prick.”

Once I placed the pizza in the backseat of my Jeep, I saw a black sweatshirt. Jungkook won’t mind if I wear it, if anything he probably would have a fit if he saw my outfit. The sweater barely went past my butt, which was surprising since Jungkook seemed taller. Shrugging I started the drive home, this time not breaking any laws.

Once I arrived, Namjoon and another man were emerging from the trail. I was surprised that they were still at the beach since the sun had set already but it was a full moon tonight, so it wasn’t entirely dark. Once Namjoon noticed me, he waved and jogged towards my car, with the other in tow.

“Need help?” He said with a dimple smile. The other waved at me. Namjoon then took the 5 pizzas from me, leaving me with the other man.

“Hi!” he said in excitement as he inclined his head. “I’m Hoseok! You must be Y/N!”

“That’s me!” I said matching his enthusiasm. Oh my god he is like a ball of literal sunshine. And his energy was contagious. “Let’s get this pizza party started!” He laughed and gestured for me to go ahead and I missed the way his gaze lingered on the sweater I was wearing and how he smirked.

That was six guys so far, awesome one more to meet. I headed inside and the first thing I heard was laughter and bickering. I felt a smile spread on my face as Jungkook ran to me with a laughing Taehyung chasing him.

“Noona!” Jungkook said attempting to hide behind me even though he was a whole 3 feet taller than me. “He’s trying to tickle me to death!”

Taehyung froze when he saw me and his eyebrows rose in surprise and he pointed at me in question.

Jungkook

“Jungkook,” Taehyung said in a shaky voice. “That sweater is not whose I think it is, is it?”

My eyes widened when I looked down and saw the sweater Noona was wearing. Oh no. Y/N tilted her head in confusion and realized he must have been talking about the sweater.

“Oh!” she said. “I hope you don’t mind Kookie. I found this sweater in the car and put it on because of some asshole. I hope it’s okay?”

I nodded my head, momentarily unable to speak. God how do I get her to take off that sweater before Jim- oh god he’s coming down the stairs! I wildly gestured to Taehyung to distract him and I twirled her around.

“Jungkook wha- oh my god stop that tickles!” She laughed and attempted to wiggle away from me as I managed to lift the sweater midway up her stomach. Oh my god. I quickly pulled it back down, almost knocking her down. I felt a blush rush up my neck. Her shirt… “I swear you have a death wish Jungkook.”

She went into the kitchen, where Jimin's eyes widened in surprise. Before he could say anything, a booming laugh exploded in the air, making us all jump.

“That sweater..” Yoongi hyung said laughing as he smirked at Jimin. “Almost fits you perfectly, Y/N.”

“I know right? I expected it to be longer since Kookie is so tall.” She said, causing almost everyone, except Jimin, to laugh. “Did I miss something?”

“No,” Yoongi said, still laughing . “I’m sorry, I’m Min Yoongi. Thanks so much for buying pizza.”

“Nice to meet you,” she smiled, making Yoongi’s laughter falter. “And don’t worry, I had to welcome you guys as your host!”

“You have such a beautiful smile Y/N-shi,” Hoseok said hooking his arm around Yoongi’s shoulder. Her smile widened even more causing her eyes to close into crescents. He glanced at Jimin, who was strangely quiet. “Such a familiar smile.”

“Thanks,” she said giggling. “That’s a lot coming from you, you’re like sunshine.”

“Why does everyone say that?” Hoseok said in confusion.

“Cause you are sunshine Hobi,” Yoongi said, hugging him. “My sunshine.”

“And you’re my moonshine,” Hoseok hyung said, causing me to glance quickly to gauge her reaction. Her eyes went wide in surprise.

“Are you guys Soulmates?” she said pleasantly surprised. But all the hyungs visibly tensed awaiting her next question. Hoseok seemingly did not realize the tension in the room, and he nodded his head to her answer. “Awesome! How long have you guys been together?”

Everyone visibly relaxed that she didn’t ask to see their Marks, but of course Noona wouldn’t ask, if she wasn’t willing to show her own Mark, in fear of rejection, she would never ask to see someone else’s Mark. She knew the pain that question caused, in fact she may be the only human to understand that.

We all ate pizza, Jimin more quiet than usual but at least he wasn’t running away. And the feeling of peace overcame my entire being. When Jimin and I moved to South Korea we felt so alone. We had met the rest of the hyungs during one of the clan meetings that were held every three years. That was two years after we moved. I remember feeling this peace back then too, but there felt like something was missing.

“Kookie,” Noona said, waving her hand in front of my face to get my attention. “I asked you a question...are you feeling okay? Why aren’t you eating?” Instead of answering, I hugged her and I tucked my face into her neck. “Jungkook?”

“I’m home,” I whispered in Korean. “It finally feels like home.”

She shivered and all of a sudden she was ripped from my arms. Jimin had a fist full of his own sweater, as he maneuvered her out of my embrace. She squealed in shock as the sweater exposed her skin to the air conditioned room. Jimin was looking at me like he wanted to kill me.

I’m a dead man.

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Masterlist

54 notes · View notes

okiedokie-then · 4 years ago

Text

heh

in my bathroom there were 60 waffles with a magazine light

numbers aint the one to lead the land

(insert guitar solo)

a check on my clock

the day life with the colors (insert screams)

vocalists can get the 100%

family, congratulations to amber.

nobody told me this...

no, nono, no, red carpet all the water

ride with me, ride with me

bee no bee he does

(insert skate park noises) ow, my knee

(insert bowling ball noises) ow, my knee, again

(insert suspicous noises) ow, my knees

(insert death noises) ow, my knee

set above your soul

its a long way down, personification of cheese

its a long way down.

somebody shoot her, she has my tongue

i want a cat, i want a cat, i want a cat, skatepark man

might all look wild

but they want you here, get out, leave

social media, you dont do that alot though

people who choose to do that

uncomfortable

cout << "do you even work out bro" << endl;

i like the pine tree, in the corner,

always watching,

being very prickly

sometimes youll see a baby in the pine tree

i like the pine tree

slip right out of the door

wheels cut up the rub,

(insert guitar solo)

skate park man goes side to side

the biology doesnt make sense

dirt on the woo's

he doesnt understand the concept

why, you arent evil

university, and military

the large paper tree

oh no, now theres two of them

its undergoing mitosis

(insert screams) you know that, right?

you never did like them

but you were the self, all the way of self

it has my name on it for the two years

the speakers blasting

you were rejected and sent back home

how does it feel?

falling from heaven? must hurt right?

the chair on the table

put them down

she doesnt like them up there

(insert laugh track) the thermostat is at 69, ha

notice, he doesnt it like it ok it

sometimes, he yells

you dont like it when he yells

no excuses for being late, your dead

through thick and thin, ill be as tasty as possible

your priorities dont line up

how could you do that?

he only wanted to eat your snacks, could you reall not give up your crackers?

not again, the stickmen are fighting

7/16 of my father is apple juice, pretty neat, right?

the fire exit hates you.

really? it builds things? cool

46 chickens crossed the road with cacti all over, that was a weird hour to be alive

do you like being treated that way?

the blue cables run all over, its pretty neat really

they hated the basketball picture, i now hate them

oh the white cables are neat to

ha, agriculture, what a joke

why does he want your snacks, you ask

he might just be hungry, you also say

i just want to go back

its to hot in my room

you tried to fly, but your wings made of anti-matter instantly reacted with the surrounding air, and then you fell.

was it a long fall?

couldnt have been, you were eating burritos to be completely honest.

he's rude

the cheezits said no to him, so they were cast into a pit, they're a bit crunchy now, nice really.

the core isnt really good though, hate that thing.

the scans made it by you

"how can they not see?" you said

he got really confused after that

.9531

it kept screaching (insert screeching of a machine), and kept screeching (insert screeching of a machine), and kept screeching (insert screeching of a machine), then it died.

doesnt even connect

section B-B got shut down due to budget cuts

B-B was the rubber ducky section

sad, really, the world may never see happiness again.

"boob beep, am not evil. beep boop." said #27

jesus that ac is loud, how can people stand it?

80-85c is the recommended temperature

ignorance, motivation, the power of friendship, all ingredients to the most well made octopus, preferably with sour cream and Valentino hot sauce.

god do i love mexican food

and no, i am not #27

you seriously dont understand the sheer amount of burritos i have eaten in this past week, i no longer have any money, i did not share with my family, even if i did, they would not eaten them, they are sick of them, i have forced them to eat thousands, preferably with butter on the side, thats all i'd like for today m'am

surface temperature, man, now thats a woozie if iv e ever thought of one

violence is not an answer

violence is a question

and the answer to that question is yes.

god the flowers smell fucking amazing this fine universal collapse

did i mention i like mexican food?

my foot keeps hitting the metal

heard something burning last night, kept smelling the noise it was making aswell, turned out it was my cat eating

who knew

"think different" -a fruit

man i can not draw football players can i?

- skin

- teeth

- hair

- eyes

want human bones? contribute to society and work for them like everyone else, get out of the house, your 33 already josh.

hip hop, or hip hop editor?

ZRX9SR

covered by a thin layer of skin

for some reason i really want potato chips rn

he dropped IT

dont sign in or he'll hurt you

G U M M Y B E A R S

immediately now

c r u n c h

2004

:fire_emoji: Warm-Ups :fire_emoji:

I LET HIM BORROW MY SNACKS AND NOW THEIR RUINED WTFFFF

god my new mouse is gonna feel so good

how do i wash my hands

i did not make that noise

c h e e s e

microbes help preserve lassen college FFA field day

cucumbers will never become pickles

IMPEACH im in the peach

a duck walked up to a lemonade stand and he said to the man, runnin the stand, "hey, bum bum bum, gimme the cash"

"okay"he says,

i would kill for a burrito rn ngl

salt bone man?

"meeting the chargers future could prove fatal to all squirrels" says the man in the suit

break your limits, push your boundries, work harder than you ever have before! i know you can do it! you can eat that wheel of cheese in only 30 seconds! i know you can!

bread, artichoke, and beans. thats all you'll ever be.

im currently reading a book about cats

i like cats

#okay

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starbuck09256 · 5 years ago

Text

Green Sweater

You know the one, that one she favors in Season 7. Yea that one. Wonder who picked it out for her?? We all know.

Fictober day 7. Barely making it.

tagging @today-in-fic and @suitablyaggrieved

She stands at the edge of the luggage carousel watching it spin round and round with a small purple suitcase spins past her, mocking her each time it goes around as not another bag drops. She stares down at her black heels, anger blooming up in her chest as she thinks about the fact that it was ridiculous to check her bag, she only did so because they were racing through the terminal. Mulder and his be ready in 10 minutes. She gets that sometimes they do need to leave with little notice. She knows she's not really mad at him but the airline. The 12 hour flight with 2 delays and a middle seat the entire time as done little to dissuade her anger. She just wants her pajamas. She’s still feeling the effects of the chemo even with the recent remission status she’s received. She also doesn’t want to complain, have Mulder pull her out of the field, tell her to go home and rest. She wants to live now, she wants to be out there in the field using her talents again. She needs the challenge because in the last few months all her energy had been drained fighting the invisible force lingering from her chip. She wants to have her mind back, her body back. She wants to feel warm, to feel Mulders love not just in a hospital bed. She wants to move them forward, try and find the beauty in the world again. First though she wants to change into pajamas grab some popcorn from the convenience store and maybe just maybe lay down next to Mulder and fall asleep. She throws up her hand as the purple bag finally gets picked up by the punk teenager with the colorful mohawk. She is defeated once more as she resigns herself to meekly head over to the airline counter Mulder is already sweet talking the attendant.

“No more flights tonight dude, there is a mall though about 5 minutes away. They are still open you know with the holidays coming up.”

Scully looks over his shoulder to see that he has in fact accurately described her bag with precision. She looks up and is so sad sighing.

“I probably have an extra shirt you can sleep in Scully.” he mutters toeing his food against his black roller bag.

She can’t help but feel angry staring up into the bright florescent light that blinks back at her. This man has cost her so many outfits and heels. He practically owes her a new wardrobe. She takes a deep breath, thinks about the mediated therapy she tried when she was sick. Thinks about being grateful to even be wearing clothes or heels to begin with and not still be tethered to an IV or worse buried in some terrible outfit her mother thought would encompass her in the afterlife. He sees her anger most of this is his fault. He should have told her last night, he shouldn’t of kept her up arguing over some cryptoid he found, shouldn’t have stayed over longer and let her sleep against him so long. She wouldn’t be rubbing her neck or have been so out of it when he picked her up. He taps his fingers on the counter, remembers the girl letting him know that this baggage claim was pretty much incompetant and Scully would be lucky to get her bag by next week. He knows he’s ruined a few things of hers, shirts with his blood, shoes with the running in the woods. Jackets and pants getting covered in god knows what. She now uses his dryer cleaner, who doesn’t ask questions but shakes their head and gives him a look. He thinks they were just happy to see that he had a lady friend after all. Never removing lipstick being the one thing they never had to worry about. He grabs the rental car keys reaches down and grabs Scullys hand.

“Mulder what?”

“Let's go to the mall,”

“You are not serious”

She doesn’t want to shop, she hasn’t gained back the muscle she wants. She was out so much that the 60% short term disability leave that she did take really hurt her overall savings and she doesn’t want something cheap. She wants Brooks Brothers, to look like a partner worthy of the man she stands next too. It’s taken her a bit of time to find some good thrift shops that lobbyists favor to donate clothes.

“I’m buying” he says as he wheels his bag and heads towards the car.

She’s never paid full price for anything, growing up with 4 kids on one income even with Base stores meant you hit shops carefully, you planned and you saved and you found ways to buy quality garments that lasted. Her student loans and medical school only made her even more conscious of the importance of being thrifty. She would rather have a spacious place in Georgetown then any latest trend. Now though now she is staring at beautifully crafted clothes that hug her athletic figure in ways that she only dreamed. Mulder went through Brooks Brothers in record time, they close in 20 minutes and he didn’t want her to feel the pressure so he just started picking stuff in her size. Normally she would hate it, would hate someone picking out things for her to wear but now she is standing in a fitting room wearing a pencil black skirt with a hunter green sweater and she sees the woman she is, the sweater so light and comfortable perfect for an evening at home or with a blazer at work. Mulder grabs a blazer and another white blouse throws them over the stall door.

“Hey I know it looks good on you, hurry up so we can pay for it, we still need to get you some sneakers for the autopsies tomorrow”

She can’t help but bite her lip. She laughs for a second, another shirt comes flying over the top.

“This one isn’t for you it's for me, don’t wear it around Skinner though… oh I just noticed the famous footwear I’ll be right back, get everything together and meet me at the counter.”

She can’t help but roll her eyes at the clearly way too low cut for anything professional shirt he tossed to her. Skinner would probably not care about anything they did if she wore that to the office. She gathers up everything lays carrying it to the counter, she probably only needs 3 things if she is honest. But there at the counter is another stack of pajamas some fuzzy slippers some beautiful lingerie it makes her blush wildly. The lady at the counter just looks at her. She is scared for a moment of how this looks like Pretty Woman. The cashier looks at her and smiles.

“Guy said they lost your luggage, said to have you get this stuff too, even though you don’t need it. Because putting up with him is more than a 40 hour job and to consider it back pay.”

She is slightly shocked. But the cashier doesn’t seem to care and starts ringing everything up, the numbers are staggering. There is no way she can let Mulder pay for this, well maybe the stuff he picked out, whatever that’s not her problem. The green sweater is lightly folded on top, “wow this color goes really well with your complexion.”

She isn’t sure where Mulder is and the daunting amount that is showing in bright green is more than a little disconcerting. She feels a warm hand slide around her though.

“Phew, sorry, hey I got these, these are the ones you always have right?” her perfect white little reebok tennis shoes stare back at her with her favorite brand of socks in a big plastic white bag. Because of course he would know her favorite brand of socks.

“Mulder” she can only mutter as he pulls out his wallet and grabs a 20% off your entire purchase coupon.

She laughs, Mulder is a bad tipper, even though he grew up with money he doesn’t like to pay anything more than he has too. He shrugs hands over a credit card and touches the green sweater, he clears his throat.

“So you uh gonna wear that one tomorrow?”

“I thought you wanted me to wear that piece that has both my tits hanging out?” She replies with a smirk.

“No, no Scully that one you know is for… nevermind. Wear the green sweater tomorrow ok. Since I didn’t get to see you model it.”

“It looked good,” she replies.

“Yea well you would look amazing in a burlap sack Scully,” he thanks the cashier. Grabs the four giant bags as she rolls a new black sleek suitcase towards the exit.

#mulder and scully #fluff #season5ish?#myfic #the xfiles #txf fic #msr #fictober19

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whump-tr0pes · 5 years ago

Photo

This is a series. Start here. Continued from here.

First @badthingshappenbingo!!! I wrote Sam as already having pneumonia at this point, so this next bit just kinda...happened. I’m not usually a sicfic gal but laaawd did I enjoy writing this.

Red X is for written and posted, white X is for requested. Enjoy!!!

AO3

Honor bound - 13

The sound of Sam’s labored breathing woke Finn up. They turned on the lamp beside the bed and rolled over, feeling blearily for Sam. When Finn’s hand touched them, Finn flinched away. Their skin was burning.

“Oh no, no no no, no, Sam…” They sat up and rolled Sam over onto their back. Their skin was slick with sweat, hair plastered to their forehead, clothes soaked beneath the blankets. Sam’s eyes were glazed over and unfocused. In the light of the lamp Finn could see their pulse jumping in their neck. Too fast. They felt Sam’s wrist. Way too fast. “Shit, shit, shit.”

They pulled the blankets off Sam, exposing them to the chilly air in the safehouse. Sam shivered and blindly reached for the covers, eyes lazing over the ceiling, unseeing. Finn dashed to the living room where Ellis and Vera were slumped on the couch asleep and Gray was stretched out on the floor. The team had elected to give Finn and Sam the bed so Sam could be comfortable and Finn could monitor them during the night. I was supposed to watch out for them and I failed. Shit!

“Ellis,” they hissed. Ellis stirred on the couch, slowly lifting their head and looking around. “Ellis,” they whispered. “Get up, I need you.” They didn’t look back as they rushed out the door to the car, grabbing their med kit and dashing back inside. Ellis was still sitting on the couch, groggy and confused. “Come on.” Finn pulled their arm, pulling them up off the couch and into the bedroom, Ellis weakly complaining the whole way. As soon as they saw Sam, they fell silent, frozen. They were shaken out of their reverie by Finn tossing the blood pressure cuff and stethoscope at them. “Get me a blood pressure,” they said without looking up from the bag. Ellis shook themselves and jumped onto the bed beside Sam, pulling their arm out of their sleeve.

Finn pulled out an IV kit and tied the tourniquet around Sam’s arm. Sam stirred, mewling weakly at the touch and at the cold. While the veins filled, Finn passed a thermometer over their forehead. Then again, disbelieving. They shook their head. Again. “104.2. Shit.” They assembled the IV set-up and sanitized the inside of Sam’s elbow. Too quickly for Sam to even flinch, Finn had the needle in, withdrawn, and connected to the extension set. They taped the IV down and turned to Ellis. “What have you got?”

Ellis shook their head, taking the stethoscope out of their ears. “Um…76/48?”

“Take it again.”

Hands shaking, Ellis pumped up the cuff and tried again. Finn’s heartbeat seemed to deafen them as they watched Ellis, holding their breath.

“78/50.”

“Shit.” They felt for a pulse. “132 on the pulse. No no no…” Their hand went to Sam’s forehead, sweeping the hair back from their face. They held out their hand for the stethoscope and listened to Sam’s lungs. The lower part of the right side rumbled with infection.

“What are we gonna do?” whispered Ellis.

“They’re septic,” moaned Finn. “They need antibiotics. And a lot of other things but…antibiotics mostly. And I don’t have any…” Their face fell into their hands. “None of the last four groups we ran into were selling, either. But I…” They looked helplessly at Sam. “If they don’t get them, they’ll die. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe sooner.”

Ellis reached for Finn’s hand. “Let me go find some.”

“No.” Finn’s voice was hard. “It’s too dangerous. Gavin’s people might be out there looking for us right now. No way.”

Ellis squeezed. “Either I risk that, or Sam dies. Right? There’s no way they could survive without antibiotics?”

Finn shook their head. “Well…probably not, but…we could find…we could do something…” They grabbed Ellis’ hand with both of theirs. “You’re my partner.”

Ellis smiled crookedly. “Don’t I know it. I can’t get rid of you.” They got off the bed. “But I’m going. I love Sam, too.” Their eyes swept Sam’s body, hot and flushed and trembling on the bed.

Finn opened their mouth to protest, then let it close with a sigh. “You’re right. Let me follow you out so I can grab my stuff. Take a radio with you. Don’t go far. If you’re gone for longer than a day, it won’t matter.” Their breath caught in their throat, shame chilling their insides. “I mean…”

“I get it.” Ellis took Finn’s chin and made them look at them. “I know you have to be that way with patients. Right now, Sam’s your patient.” They turned to leave the bedroom. Finn followed right behind.

Finn was proud of their cache of equipment. It had taken them a long time to collect and had cost more than all the team’s other needs combined, but it was worth it in times like this. They grabbed the cardiac monitor they had had to trade a car for and their sack of saline bags. Ellis grabbed the oxygen concentrator that was Finn’s prized possession, and the extra batteries for it.

As they carried the equipment inside, Gray stirred. “What’s goin’ on?” they mumbled. Finn walked right past them into the bedroom.

Ellis dropped to one knee and whispered so as not to wake Vera. “Sam got worse. Finn is gonna do what they can here, and I’m gonna go get antibiotics.”

“I’ll go with you.” Gray clumsily got to their feet.

“No.” Finn poked their head into the hall, having dropped their equipment. “Too dangerous. I hate risking Ellis. I can’t risk you, too.”

“I’m of more use helping Ellis than I am here,” Gray whispered back.

Finn hesitated in the doorway for a moment. Then they sighed. “Take the radio, let me know what you find. Don’t be gone longer than 24 hours.” They disappeared back into the room.

Ellis and Gray left silently, trying to let Vera sleep. It had been days since any of them had gotten proper rest. No use in waking her up if it wasn’t necessary.

Finn looked down at Sam and watched their eyes move slowly under the lids. Then they swallowed hard and got to work.

Finn covered Sam back up with only the thinnest blanket on the bed. Sam was already starting to shiver, but it was better to let them cool off a bit than to let them sweat under the covers. They spiked a bag of saline and hung it from a nail in the wall. They assumed it once held a picture, but whatever was there before was gone. They attached the saline to Sam’s IV and let it run wide open.

Finn dug a portable pulse ox out of their bag and clipped in onto Sam’s finger. They waited for the little machine to beep, normalize, get a reading… 89%.

They cursed silently and reached back into their bag for a nasal cannula. They put it on Sam’s face and plugged it into the oxygen concentrator. They turned it on and within minutes the number on the pulse ox was rising. 91%...94%...96%... Finn pulled up some IV Tylenol, checked the dose, and ran it into the IV.

No one on the team had ever been this sick before. They had treated scrapes and cuts, broken bones, even sutured a graze from a bullet that nearly killed Ellis when they first met, but they’d never done anything like this. Finn wasn’t deluded. They knew their team trusted them too much to take care of them. They knew if someone took a bullet to the gut, or got a concussion bad enough, or got an illness that couldn’t be treated with Tylenol and fluids, they would die without a hospital. And hospitals were run, almost without exception, by the syndicates. The only safe hospitals were inordinately expensive. Finn shook their head wearily. They were a stopgap. A glorified band-aid distributor. The pharmacy aisle at a convenience store could help more than they could.

They buried their face in their hands, tears of frustration burning their eyes. They’d signed up to be a combat medic when they were 18, when the governments were still pretending to fight the criminal organizations that now ran the world. They’d gotten through their first three weeks of medical training when their base had been attacked and destroyed. Every person found on the base, military or not, had been shot execution style where they stood. Finn was one of the only ones that escaped. They’d been on the run ever since. They couldn’t remember much of anything they learned in basic training, and most of the medicine they knew was what they had picked up along the way. The only difference between them and anyone else on the team was that three weeks of training. A monkey could do what I can do, and be almost as successful. A tear ran down their cheek.

Snap out of it, idiot. There was no time for self-pity when Sam was dying. They couldn’t do much without antibiotics, but they might be able do enough to keep Sam alive until they arrived.

Content for now, Finn turned to their bag to do a quick inventory. Aside from their regular med kit, they had 12 bags of saline left, 4 lithium ion batteries for the oxygen concentrator, and one extra battery for the monitor. They did some quick math in their head. If Sam is 60 kilos, give or take, they’ll need 1800 mL fluids in the first three hours, or is it 1200 mL, shit, why can’t I remember this right now…this is when I need to know this stuff… They glanced at the liter of fluid hanging from the wall. Half of it was already gone. Screw it. I keep their blood pressure up. If they need similar boluses after that then I’ll have a little less than 24 hours before I run out. They closed their eyes. I guess it won’t matter after that. I told them they have 24 hours. Their hands reached vaguely towards the lithium batteries, thinking. Each battery lasts for four-ish hours, give or take, so including the one already running we’ll have…20 hours of O2, minimum. They ran a tense hand through their hair. That’s more than cutting it damned close.

They pumped up the blood pressure cuff and took another pressure. 80/54. They could pretend it was improvement.

I can’t think of another damned thing I can do for them. Most of their equipment was for trauma, anyway. They wracked their brain for another moment before they slumped, giving in to their worry.

They crawled next to Sam and lay down next to them over the thin blanket, flinching at the heat coming off their skin. They laid their head next to Sam’s and wrapped one arm around their waist, reaching across them and holding their hand.

“You know,” Finn whispered against Sam’s ear, “we’re gonna get through this. You’re gonna get better, we’re gonna get Isaac back, and we’re all gonna run away together somewhere safe. Somewhere Gavin can’t find us. Someday this is all gonna be some terrible memory. Maybe you can go to college, would you like that? I could actually become a medic. Or maybe even do medical school. Who knows. Vera could get that dog she’s always talking about, and we could all go over to mine and Ellis’ house on the weekends to have cookouts and go swimming in our pool and watch movies. Ellis could be safe, they could go to therapy, they could…I don’t know, maybe write their book?” Finn laughed gently. “Isaac can finally relax and figure out what he wants to do. You know, I’ve never once heard him talk about what he would do if we were safe? Anyway, we’d be far away from the crime and the death and the running, we’d be safe, maybe we could have a garden, a cat… What would you go to school for? I don’t think I remember. I know we’ve talked about it. You’ll have to tell me when you get better.” They pressed a kiss against Sam’s temple. “You know I hate it when they leave me behind? Drives me insane. I just want to help, I just want to contribute like they do, and they say it’s because I’m an asset but anyone could do what I do…honestly, not complicated…maybe if I had some actual medicines to work with but…with what I have to work with…” They sighed. “I just want to be in it with you. I want to feel how it feels to raid a compound, pull the trigger and watch some piece-of-shit murderer go down, I want to feel the way you all do when you work together and pull off a mission…” They pressed their lips together and tried to ignore the tears running down their face and into the pillow.

“I’m so sorry we let this happen to you.” Their voice was shaking. “I know Isaac blames himself, but it��s all of our faults. We left you unprotected. We should never have expected you to…” They shook their head. “Once we get you better, I swear to you, we will keep you safe, we’ll never put you in danger again. Just…hold on for us, Sam. Hold on for me. You just have to hold on until they get back with the antibiotics…just for a few hours, I promise…” They soothed their sweat-soaked curls away from their face. “Please, Sam. Please just fight this. Please stay alive.”

As they put their hand back in Sam’s, Finn felt them squeeze weakly. They smiled through their tears and squeezed back.

Continued here.

@untilthepainstarts, @womping-grounds, @blue-flare10, @free-2bmee, @quirkykayleetam, @walkingchemicalfire, @inpainandsuffering, @redwingedwhump, @burtlederp, @castielamigos-whump-side-blog

#honor bound #bad things happen bingo #pneumonia #whump #my oc: Sam #torture aftermath #field medicine #sicfic #tw: needles #fever #sepsis

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hazzabeeforlou · 5 years ago

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On the eve of HS2, I felt I needed to reflect and write a diary entry of sorts, an ode to where I was and where I am now, a musing on how HS1 ushered in a whole new world for me. This is long and more personal than anything I’ve previously shared, but in honor of vulnerability and maybe helping someone else who’s struggling... here it is.

The most exposure 2015 me had to pop music was occasionally listening to ‘hits’ radio. My old art teacher in high school had blasted the classics of the 60s and 70s daily, so I knew those, albeit not the names, but the music, the style, the melodic tropes and such. 2015 me didn’t have much time for pop music. I was getting a fancy degree in classical music from one of the best conservatories in the world, and I’d made it there after four years with a highly abusive teacher in undergrad who gave me horrible anxiety; by the end, whenever she would walk into a room, I would get chills and start shaking. She delighted in lying to me, in calling me out in front of my peers. Worse, I was arguably her highest-achieving student. The day I got into Juilliard she took me for “tea” to celebrate, where she proceeded to spend the whole time telling me how she had made this happen, how her connections got me to NY, how I should be grateful.

Entering the world of NYC and Juilliard I was an awestruck, anxious mess. Everything moved too fast, the school was overwhelming, my studio mates were famous already, some of them having won world-famous competitions and been on the cover of magazines. I was in the elite place, a place my working class roots had never prepared me for. My dad was a millwright. He went to work every day in steel-toed boots and overalls and often returned so filthy mom wouldn’t let him wash his clothes in the household washing machine. But I was nothing if not adaptable, and grateful, and charming, and I did my best. I worked hard. But my health kept deteriorating.

All through undergrad I’d been feeling progressively worse. I had horrible acne that I presumed was caused by stress, as I’d never suffered with it in high school. I was already an introvert, but body insecurity led me to hardly ever socialize. I would spent hours getting ready for things, never willing to show my bare face. But that wasn’t the worst; I’d developed what I now understand was an eating disorder, because no matter how much I exercised or dieted, I kept gaining weight, or rather, I lost all my baby fat but remained the same scale number. I kept telling my mother I was fat. I didn’t tell her that I hated the wind, that I hated running, because it made my stomach protrude and the whole world could see the extra pounds I carried. I never made an appointment with an OBGYN because I didn’t date much less have sex, and my mother had told me, well you don’t ever need to be seen until you do. I came to NYC well versed in wearing baggy sweaters and scarfs that hid my form. And for two years, as my breathing got worse and worse, as my energy levels dropped, as my skin hurt and itched, I pushed forwards. I remember practicing one day and my eyes going black. I couldn’t see, I couldn’t breathe.

It was getting into an international competition that saved me. I got the news in early May of 2016; I jumped around my room and I started coughing, and the next day a hernia appeared above my belly button. I was only slightly worried, but I went to see the Juilliard doctor. She asked if I’d gained weight, she said even a couple pounds could do it. I was, as always, ashamed, red faced, embarrassed as she prodded around on my torso.

She said I’d need surgery. So I scheduled it in NYC for two days after my graduation. I played my recital, but with a binder around my abdomen. I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t remember my memorized music. I nearly passed out. I stumbled on the sidewalk afterwards.

When I woke from the surgery I was in blinding pain, teeth chattering uncontrollably, in shock. I couldn't open my eyes, and every breath felt like knives slicing into my chest. I heard the nurses say, “We’ve given you three IVs of Percocet, do you want us to give you a forth?” I said no, thinking, ‘what if I die from an overdose?’ After two hours my mother came in search of me. It was supposed to be a day surgery. She demanded morphine. They sent me home on it, but two days later I’d thrown up twice and was back in the ER. A CT showed I had an ovarian cyst. The doctor said to me, “It’s 28 inches. It’s the size of a dinner plate.” I didn’t understand. They rushed me back for another surgery, and asked me to sign a paper saying I wouldn’t hold them responsible if I ended up paralyzed. I signed it. I joked with the nurses before they put me under. I was shaking with pain. I thought, if this is the end, I’ve had a good life. I’ll be with my doggy, my baby puppy. I’ve graduated from my dream school. I’ve gotten into an elite international competition. I’ll go out at the top of my game. It’s okay.

But then I woke up. Over the next year, I would wish countless times that I hadn’t. I could barely walk. I couldn’t lift things like a fork, or my computer. I couldn’t shower or cough or even shit. I couldn’t practice or sit upright for more than fifteen minutes. Pain became a constant. I started to wake up with night sweats, my forehead creased in subconscious pain. I would jump at every loud noise, my heart lurching like a ruined engine, and I couldn’t remember names of flowers. I fell into a massive depression over the next few months, made worse by the 2016 election; because of my infirmity I had moved back home with my Trump-voting parents. The bravest thing I did that fall was ‘come out’ as a liberal on Facebook. My parents pretended not to notice when I stayed up late that cold November night, huddled with a blanket on the couch, crying my eyes out.

The Christmas 2016 season is a blur. I know I half lived in memories, half in grief, but all in self-pitying misery. I remember reading a passing article about Jay, not knowing who it was, and I remember adding a lost mother to the list of things I cried about. How could the world be so cruel, so unfair? My days were filled with PT and sleep, immobility and exhaustion, and questions, questions like if I can’t do what I love, what I’ve spent years training for, what’s the point? What does it mean to be an artist when you can’t do your art? What is left of me that matters? Is the future only more pain? It would have been better to have died. It would have been better to have died.

Up until this point I had been unlucky in love. I could never find men attractive, though many friends pressured me to try, which of course had led to not good things. I’d been confronted a couple times about maybe being gay, but I’d shot this down immediately, my face bright red, my heart pounding. No, that’s not it, I’m just picky. Two girls in grad school had flirted with me; I’d accidentally gone on a date with one. I’d felt deeply, gut-wrenchingly uncomfortable about her. But how could I ever unpack all of that when just coming out as a liberal had given me anxiety for days...

The new year came and I had nothing to look forward to. I could see no happy future. I wasn’t really in my right mind. I would escape as best I could, perhaps in masochistic ways; I’d watch SNL for humorous liberal comfort, and Colbert to feel some spark of angry solidarity. And that’s how I stumbled on Harry. He got me with his puns, because I love those. For the first time in months, I was giggling about something, this charming boy with curls and dimples who had replaced the scream-speech of James Cordon. For once I didn’t turn the tv off after Colbert.

I began listening to Harry’s songs. As I had no reference for contemporary pop music, his old school rock album was familiar to me in a comforting way. I knew these sounds, these tropes, and yet they didn’t feel stale to me, they spoke to something I was feeling in the present. Because the album, in essence, was about pain, wasn’t it? Pain and escaping it. The lies we tell to survive, the dreams we cling to for hope, the drugs we use to forget. I’d never bought a pop album before, Harry was my first, and I listened to it for hours every day.

HS1 seeped into my blood, but I’d been on a hopeless, aimless track for so long that the railway tie hadn’t yet switched. One warm, sunny spring day I wrote a note, filled a bag with rocks, and walked to the old bike trail, out past the freeway, into the marshes and pools of abandoned swampy wasteland. FTDT played in my head on a loop as I walked, as my brain hummed with the equation of worth. Was it worth it to stay alive?

Yes. I threw the rocks. I threw them as far as my fragile arms would allow, and they splashed into the murky water. And I turned around and called my mom to come get me. Harry had made something that was beautiful, that was touching, that was real. And if he could... then maybe I could too. Maybe I didn’t have to be just what I’d been before. Maybe I could try creating other things; maybe I could make art that, like Harry’s music, made other people feel less alone.

There was something magical about that album. Not freedom, per se, but the promise of it, a glimpse of truth that kept me hanging on.

I began writing poems again, songs. I got into an orchestra program, I healed month by month, I started carrying crystals, I found this crazy fandom and, little by little, grew to understand that my yearning upon looking at baby larry videos was really a cry of sameness that I had never before understood. After the Pulse shooting, during my horrible homebound year, I’d watched Lin-Manuel Miranda give his love is love is love speech, and I’d burst into tears. And I’d not known why. Now I began to realize. I remember the first tentative anon I sent to Phoenix @alienfuckeronmain asking if maybe I was... bi? I remember anxiously awaiting her answer, as if I needed an invitation to join the community, to be valid, to have this not just be a crazy swelling of hope in my chest. She replied while I was wandering through a corn maze in the frigidness of October. The next day I walked into rehearsal and I felt free, free of the way boys looked at me, free of being FOR them, and I’d never felt so... alive. Coincidentally I met my ex girlfriend that day too.

Through Harry I found this fandom, and Louis. Louis, who has spoken to me on levels I cannot even express, whose class and political and emotional intelligence have challenged me to stand up for things I never thought I could. For me these last few years have felt like a journey WITH Harry. As he started waving them, I started wearing rainbows, just subtly. A knit scarf, a postcard, a bag. I started writing fic, the most healing thing I’ve ever done. I learned to create art away from the singular thing I’d been trained to dump my all into, and I learned that I have so much more to offer, even if chronic pain will follow me in some way or another for the rest of my life.

I’m so thankful to Harry for taking me on this adventure with him; I don’t know if I’d have ever taken that first step by myself. It was like he held my hand through it all, like this fandom held my hand through it all. Like by being himself, Harry helped me be brave enough to evolve too.

Through the catalyst of Harry’s art I’ve experienced more happiness than I’d have ever imagined. I cannot wait to go on this next journey, a second album, and reflect on just how far we’ve both come.

#mine #personal #tw suicide #tw disordered eating

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cozyteez · 5 years ago

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prince!yunho, IV.

"breakfast in 5 minutes your highness”

yunho groaned in response as he rolled over in bed. another day, another full schedule

he swung his legs over the side of the bed and stood up before stumbling for a moment and plopping right back down onto the bed

standing up slower this time, he trudged his way into his washroom with the thoughts of everything he had to do today weighing down his ankles

he quickly got presentable and went to the breakfast area where his parents were waiting for him, just like every morning

at breakfast he was given his daily schedule. today was pretty standard, meetings with his parents, the royal advisory board, and the other departments until lunch (today was botany then outreach), then he goes to the medical wing for training until dinner with his family, assuming he gets all his work done for that day. if not he works through dinner and eats it later by himself

he only almost fell asleep once this morning and it was during the meeting with botany. to his defense, the topic of the meeting was about which flower was to be planted at the front gates this spring, and it somehow lasted two hours

for lunch today he decided to meet with some friends in his training class at the dining hall

they were in the middle of sharing their most gruesome stories from their respective rotations from the past week when auve walked by yunho’s table and gave him a wave and a sweet look

"good afternoon, prince yunho"

yunho wasn't expecting to see auve as he'd never seen her in the dining hall at this time before, and the look on his face definitely broadcasted that thought to everybody around him

nonetheless, he responded "hello" with his mouth full of food, to which he quickly covered with his napkin when he realized what he did

she walked off and sat down with a group of girls at the table right behind yunho's, sitting in such a way that if he looked past his friend's shoulder just right he'd be looking directly at her

"damn, she looks really good"

another friend hit his chest as yunho snapped out of his trance

"ow! dude!"

"she's out or your league man, there's no point in drooling over her. besides, she seems pretty into prince charming over here"

yunho flushes red before pretending he didn't just hear that. he began to nervously shovel food into his mouth and keep his head low, desperately wanting to avoid the topic

"hey fancy pants, are you gonna ask her out? because if you don't i definitely will"

his friend receives another firm hit to the chest and yunho begins to ungracefully cough down his food

"i don’t know, should i?"

"yeah man! she’s looked over here like twice already and it’s been what, like 60 seconds since she sat down? besides, not only are you gonna be a doctor soon, you're also the fucking prince. she'd be insane to turn you down"

"are you sure you don't have a crush on him dude?"

"do you have a death wish?"

yunho was quick to tune out his friend's mild bickering as he began to think about auve

'i mean, she is quite beautiful, especially her smile. it’s so warm and inviting. i wonder what she specializes in? off topic, focus up yunho. let's see; pros: auve is beautiful, she's - wait. am i objectifying her by counting that as a 'pro'? what if - '

"dude. hey! twinkle toes!"

with a slight shake of his head yunho pulled himself out of his thoughts and back to his friends

"just ask her out man"

and as if on cue, auve and yunho looked right at each other, both causing the other to blush and become shy

“yeah... maybe i will....”

eventually it was time for yunho and his friends to head up to the medical wing for training. right before they walked through the doors though, auve walked by with a wave of people coming back to work from their lunch break

he paused and called out to her just before one of his friends pushed him towards her direction

“hi auve”

“your highness”

a deep blush was already making its way across his face and ears as he nervously rubbed the back of his neck

“you look really pretty today”

“oh, thank you”

auve blushed as well, looking down as she tucked some hair behind her ear

‘well, not that you don’t look pretty every day. oh my - not that it matters either..?”

yunho’s friends rolled their eyes and shook their heads as they watched him start to crash and burn

“because i’m sure there’s more depth to you than your beauty, and if you think about it, physical beauty never matters because in the end, you know, people are attracted to what’s on the inside so, I mean - i know you’re more than a pretty face so I was just thinking that maybe-”

one of his friends spoke up, no longer able to tolerate the amount of second hand embarrassment this whole situation was causing him

“oh my god - DUDE! JUST ASK HER OUT WE’RE GONNA BE LATE!”

yunho covered his face before sheepishly looking at auve, who was trying not to giggle

“you know, i was planning on going to the east gardens for some wine after work if you wanted to join me? i wouldn’t mind the company, especially yours....”

the way she was looking at yunho caused butterflies to flutter in his stomach and a tingly feeling to spread across his chest

“that ... sounds really nice. maybe around 6:30?”

auve smiled and nodded

“perfect. see you then, yunho”

“yeah...”

she began to walk away, but before she got too far he called out to her

“wait! i’ve been dying to know, what’s your specialty?”

auve turned and continued to walk backwards as she answered him

“internal affairs, and you?”

he gestured back towards the glass doors of the medical wing

“medicine. see you tonight!”

and she smiled that sweet smile of hers before turning around to walk to work, leaving yunho awestruck as he watched her go

eventually he was pulled into the medical wing by his friends and they quickly went to the lockerooms to change into some scrubs and get to work

yunho spent his whole day with the usual smile on his lips a little bit wider than normal and his head just a little bit fuzzy, information and procedures slightly blurred by thoughts of auve and her warm smile and soft voice. he had it so bad for her that he almost felt tipsy

but just as he was heading off to go get ready for his date, two doctors burst through the doors with a man on a wheelchair who was keeled forward and holding an oxygen mask to his face

"woah. need any help?"

yunho was already following them. he knows its a bit morbid, but this month he was working in emergency medicine and he had yet to see anything really interesting

"sure kid, c'mon"

they get to the ER as quickly as possible and wheel him to the closest empty bed. yunho's heart was racing, ready to help out with anything he could

"okay guys listen up: we have a male, 58, collapsed after an intense coughing fit and has been in and out of consciousness ever since. his heart rate was alright at the scene but his oxygen levels are very low. i'm gonna need all hands on deck to figure out what the hell happened here"

the lead doctor began giving orders to the nurses before turning to yunho and the other doctor

"you two: get him on the bed and lay him back"

they nodded in unison as the doctor went to one side of the patient and yunho the other. on the doctor's count they lifted him out of the wheelchair and onto the bed, and that's when yunho's heart almost jumped out of his chest

he immediately wished he could take back all of his silent complaints for not seeing any interesting cases come through the ER, because as soon as he had set the patient down and laid his head back, he made eye contact with a vary familiar set of eyes before they fluttered closed as he became unconscious again

"i-i... i have to go. i have to leave, i'm sorry"

the lead doctor just rolled his eyes before he continued barking orders to the hospital staff about which vitals to read, medicines to push, and tests to run

meanwhile yunho ran down the hall, out of the doors, and straight to xenia's office, slowing down as he approached the door

"come in!"

he pushed through the door, but stood frozen as he realized he didn't know what to say, or rather how to say it

"yunho? well this is a surprise, you never come to visit me at work! not that i’m upset, just -"

"nia..."

"hey, why are you still in your scrubs?" she put her pen down and stood up from her desk "is everything alright?"

yunho cleared his throat and looked at the floor, still trying to find his words

"xenia can you follow me, please?"

he figured that would buy him some time, but she refused

"no. not until you tell me what's going on"

xenia stepped out from behind her desk to walk towards yunho, who looked up at her with a look she couldn't exactly describe, but had a bad feeling about. a really, really bad feeling

"can you just come with me? please"

"yunho, you're scaring me... just tell me what's going on and i'll go"

he sighed and looked at the floor one more time before looking back at her

"it's your father, nia. he collapsed today after a bad coughing fit in the kitchen. i just helped some doctors bring him into the ER"

"what? is he alright?"

yunho opened his mouth but decided not to answer, his silence speaking volumes to xenia

"i think you should go see him. somebody already went to get your mother, she should be there by now"

her face was emotionless and her eyes were glazed over as she walked out of her office towards the medical wing, swiftly and quietly with yunho right behind her

once inside the emergency care center, yunho placed his hand on her back and led her to her father's room. as soon as she opened the door her heart sunk. he looked awful

he was extremely pale, he was attached to at least 5 wires, and he looked like he hadn't slept in weeks

"oh, father...."

she rushed to his side, the side her mother wasn't already at, and immediately took his hand as she knelt down

"don't cry baby girl, i'll be alright. promise" he wiped a tear that had begun to roll down her cheek with his thumb "now, be honest. does this gown wash me out?"

everyone in the room laughed, even xenia. but the happiness was short lived as he began to cough and struggle to breathe

he forced a weak smile when it was over, squeezing the hands of his wife and daughter in reassurance. xenia placed her other hand over her father's and took a good look at him. his bright smile had been dimmed, and she could tell he was in a lot of pain

she looked up for yunho but he had snuck out of the room, probably just to let them spend some time together as a family, she thought. looking back at her father, she made a mental note to ask yunho about how long it'll take for him to get better later. for now, she was beginning to realize how much time she'd been spending on work lately and how little time she'd been spending with her family

she made another mental note to change that, starting today. she was going to hold her father's hand through this, no matter how many projects she had to delay or give up in order to do it. she was going to see to it herself that he got better, no matter how long or how much it took

meanwhile yunho was frantically changing out of his scrubs in the locker room, as he was running late for his date with auve. he forgot to take his sneakers off before he started to take off his scrub pants and fell onto his ass

after taking a deep breath and removing his sneakers, he stood up and quickly put the rest of his clothes on. for once he was grateful that he had to wear nice clothes this morning so he could go straight to the east gardens and not be too late

he fixed his hair a little bit in the mirror before he made his way over to where auve was waiting for him

once yunho arrived he was able to spot auve immediately. she at alone at one of the standing-area bar tops with a glass of wine already in her hands, peacefully looking out over the entirety of the gardens

"they're beautiful, right?"

"oh my! you scared me"

despite being startled, she was still smiling that never-ending smile of hers that yunho could look at all day

"looks like i should catch up, hm?"

she looked down at her half empty glass that yunho was gesturing towards and back at him

"looks like it"

"be right back"

auve watched as yunho walked over to the bar, he was so happy and bubbly and oh - he almost tripped over that woman's chair. maybe he was a bit clumsy too, she thought

he made his way back and began to ask her about her day. from there the conversation flowed naturally between sips and refills of wine. it was mostly light-hearted, when she had asked about his day he decided to leave out the part about xenia's father as to not kill the mood. besides, it wasn't really something he was willing to process at the moment

yunho felt more relaxed than he's felt in a while. it was nice to laugh with and get to know someone new. for a while he had felt stuck in a demanding and rigorous routine with the same work and the same people, so change was good. it was nice, he thought

after maybe their third glass of wine yunho made a joke that auve found particularly funny and had them both laughing until their stomachs hurt, leaning on the bar top for support

as their laughter died down, there was almost no other noise around them and they realized that it had gotten pretty late as they were some of the last people there

auve drank the last sip of her wine, sighed, and smiled at yunho, who was smiling right back at her with the same butterflies in his stomach fuzzy feeling in his head from before, although this time maybe it was all the wine that had him tipsy

either way, something gave him a wave of confidence as he set his empty glass down and leaned in closer to her

"you know, every spring the castle puts on this big ball..."

"ooh, really?"

"yeah, we decorate the grand ballroom with flowers and everybody dresses really pretty and there's dancing and food and games for the kids except sometimes i play too because - well, anyways..."

auve was giggling at yunho's rambling and he swore it was the cutest sound he'd ever heard

"if you'd like, i'd love it of you came with me. as, you know, my date. if you want to but you don't have to"

she stopped giggling, but her smile never faded. placing her hand on his arm, she answered him

"oh, i definitely want to. when is it again?"

yunho tried to act like he was unbothered by her touch but he doubts he got away with it based on how hot his cheeks felt

"it's in about two weeks"

she hummed and nodded, allowing a silence to fall between them that had a bit of tension to it

they both knew they should probably leave, but neither of them were doing anything, just staring at each other not wanting the night to end. especially yunho, who was realizing he was about to fall right back into the same lonely routine. at least now he had the ball to look forward to

finally, he broke the silence

"if you want, i can walk you back to your room?"

"sure"

she smiled as yunho took their glasses back to the bar and thanked the bar tender. they walked pretty much in silence the whole way there, both too shy to make any sort of move

"well, we're here"

they stopped walking and yunho turned to face auve

"i had a really great time tonight"

"me too"

yunho paused, trying to buy himself some more time to work up the courage to do what he's wanted to do all night

"i'm sorry for earlier, sometimes i get nervous and i ramble and i didn't mean to call you pretty and then not pretty, because you are pretty. like, really pretty. so i-"

"it's alright, yunho. it was actually kind of cute"

"really?"

"of course. i think you also blush when you get nervous, kind of like you are right now"

his hands flew to his cheeks in a vain attempt to cover what she'd already noticed and just made worse, causing both of them to giggle

"well, anyways ... can i ask you one more thing?"

"sure"

"can i kiss you?"

"please do"

and in what seemed like only a second, he took a step forward, pulled her by the waist close to him, tilted her chin up with his other hand, and had his lips on hers

auve was shocked at his sudden smoothness. he hadn't really given her any indication in the time she's known him that he would've kissed her the way he was kissing her now, but she didn't mind

actually, she really didn't mind. not one bit. in fact, she was starting to think she'd let him take her breath away over and over again and she still wouldn't mind because he wasn't just good, he was absolutely intoxicating

but then again, maybe it was all the wine

#word count 3.1k #i promise that one part has nothing to do with the current outbreak ive had this drafted for like 6 weeks the timing is just poor ://#prince!yunho #yunho #ateez #ateez imagine #yunho imagine

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mrs-dragneel-stark-solo · 5 years ago

Text

Unforseen Chasm (Part 60)

Part 60 of Unforseen Chasm

Prompt: Two sisters fall for men that are absolute enemies. The love they have could tear all of them apart, or it could bring them together. Word Count: 3295 Warnings: Language, arguing, sickly Tony, endgame plot Song for this part: Dark Paradise- Lana Del Rey Note: This is by far the longest thing I’ve ever written (including my other fic series). first major Collab with my best friend @thorne93 what was first a simple “what if” moment turned into a two year writing session and I’ve never been more prouder of myself than when i started my first series. goes through most of the MCU plots there are some changes to accommodate for what we wanted and there is a bit of a crossover between the MCU and other characters. I hope you guys enjoy reading this just as much as I enjoyed writing it.

Once Tony got settled in, you came into his room. Steve looked up to see who had entered. He nudged Rhodey slightly and nodded toward you. The two of them swept past you and out of the room, leaving only you, Shannon, and Tony.

“Hey, Tony,” you greeted softly as you stepped in, nervously fidgeting with your hands.

“Hey, kid,” he greeted. “Where’s Reindeer games?” he asked.

Your throat closed as you frowned, tears welling in your eyes before you glanced away.

Shannon leaned forward slightly on the bed, squeezing his hand. “Tony, he..” she started, glancing to you. “He’s one of the vanished,” she finished.

Tony glanced to you, sympathy in his eyes. “Shit, my bad. I… Sorry,” he mumbled.

You took a deep breath and turned back to him, trying to move past the pain to ask what you needed to know. “Tony, I was wondering… Well.. I know Shannon said you went after Stephen on the spaceship. Did he..um…”

“He vanished too. I’m sorry,” he informed, sympathy in his voice.

All you could do was bite your lip and nod before you started to sob. You didn’t want them to see you like this, but there was no time to hold in the pain.

Shannon quickly jumped up to hug you tightly.

“I’ll give you two some time to talk,” she offered. She thought maybe Tony would tell you of his final moments or something. Tony and you had become quite close during and after the Accords.

Once the door shut to the room, you took a seat next to his bed, the opposite side of where Shannon had been.

“How are you feeling?” you asked gently.

“Better, now that I’m on Earth. But forget me. I’m alive. Shannon filled me in on what happened in Wakanda. She hadn’t gotten to...Loki.”

“It’s fine,” you assured, shaking your head slightly. “So did uh… did Stephen say anything before...” That was all you could get out. Losing Loki was hard enough, but to start to relive another friend’s death was torment.

“Well, Dr. Strange ultimately gave up the time stone to save me, which frankly I didn’t see why he would have, but right before all of that happened, he did say that out of all the outcomes there was only one where we win.” He stopped to get a drink of water. “Giving up the stone might have been part of the plan..I-I’m still not quite sure.”

For a moment, you frowned. “Stephen… gave the time stone up to… save you? That doesn’t sound like him,” you assessed.

“I’m not even sure if it was for my sake really, there must be more as to why he did that.” Tony shrugged, scratching himself. “You knew him well enough. Would he willingly give something up for the sake of something bigger?”

“I know he would,” you whispered, tears filling your eyes. “I’m not saying your life isn’t worth a great deal, Tony. You mean a lot to a lot of people, including me. But I know Stephen, at least, I like to think I do. I don’t think he would’ve given it up if it weren't of vital importance. Did he say or do anything else?”

“After he gave up the stone, Thanos left through the portal he had created and then Pet--the kid said he didn't feel so good and then became dust in my arms.” Tony got quiet for a bit focusing on not letting his voice quiver. “And the only thing that Stephen said was ‘We’re in the endgame now’ and then vanished… But about Wakanda, what did you see? Were you with Loki when it happened or…?” He looked up to you. “Did he get to say anything before disappearing?

You bit your lip again, hoping you wouldn’t break the skin to keep from crying. But at this point, it didn’t matter. You let the tears fall freely, talking with a thick voice. “He, uh… He was trying to tell me that he loved me. I kept talking, asking him what was so important right now during the battle that couldn’t wait. I wish I would’ve just shut my mouth...” You hung your head and shook it, the pain becoming overbearing. “He...we were right next to each other. I should’ve been watching Vision. It should’ve been me, not Wanda. I was stuck on the field protecting... Well… everyone. When Thanos came, I could’ve stopped him I could’ve--” You cut your speech short, trying not to get wrapped up in the anger of it all. Tony had asked you about Loki, you needed to focus on that. Not Thanos. “Loki asked me… or he tried to ask me to … He tried to ask me to marry him. He was cut short because of the snap but he got enough out for me to make it out.” With that, you finally looked up to Tony with red, puffy eyes. You hadn’t told a soul, for fear it would rip you apart.

“Oh, Y/N, I’m so sorry to hear that. I know how much you and Reindeer Games loved each other. I’m sorry you’ve had to go through this alone. I hope Shannon has been there to console you during this time.” He stopped and he patted the spot next to him. You immediately left your chair and sat next to him on the bed. “I know there’s not much we know now but I will promise you this if there’s even a remote chance I can find a way to bring everyone back or even just him, I will okay?” He wrapped his arm around your shoulder and squeezed you close.

You nodded fervently, resting your head on his shoulder. “We’ve come a long way since New York, haven’t we?” You slightly laughed. “The worst part is… I didn’t even get to say yes.” And that was it -- the true floodgates opened and you were violently sobbing to the point of him just holding you close. Tony had lost a lot too. He’d lost Peter. He lost members of the Avengers. But he at least still had Shannon and Rhodey and others he cherished, and he knew this.

For you though, he knew you’d lost a great deal more.

-------------------------------

By the next morning, everyone met to reconvene to discuss things. Rhodey told everyone it’d been 23 days since the snap, and that Natsha had confirmed by the remaining governments that half of all life had been wiped out.

“Where is he now? Where?” Tony demanded as he sat at the table, hooked up to his IV in a robe. He still looked like shit but at least he had some fight back. Last night he seemed almost delirious.

You stood in the room with everyone, nothing to say, nothing to add. You just wanted… well you weren’t sure what you wanted. You just needed to hear maybe what had happened. Maybe what had happened with Strange. Maybe there would be a clue on how to get them back.

“We don’t know. He just opened a portal and walked through,” Steve informed and those words sent a sad rage through you.

Tony turned and saw Thor. “What’s wrong with him?” he asked.

“Oh, he's pissed. He thinks he failed. Which of course he did, but you know there's a lot of that's going around, ain't there?” Rocket answered.

“Honestly, until this exact second, I thought you were a Build-A-Bear,” Tony sarcastically said looking at the creature.

Dejectedly, Rocket said, “Maybe I am.”

“We've been hunting Thanos for three weeks now. Deep Space scans, and satellites, and we got nothing. Tony, you fought him,” Steve stated.

“Who told you that?” He looked over at Cap, surprised. “I didn't fight him. No, he wiped my face with a planet while the Bleecker Street Magician gave away the store. That's what happened. There was no fight.” Tony retorted beginning to get upset.

He nodded, understanding that Tony was upset. “Okay.”

“He's unbeatable,” he replied dejectedly.

“Did he give you any clues, any coordinates, anything?” Steve pried, hoping to get Tony to focus up and provide something they could use.

“Pfft! I saw this coming a few years back. I had a vision. I didn't wanna believe it.” He looked off to remember from long ago. “ Thought I was dreaming.”

“Tony, I'm gonna need you to focus,” Steve urged, desperate to find Thanos.

Seethingly, he looked up at Steve “And I needed you. As in past tense. That trumps what you need. It's too late, buddy. Sorry. You know what I need?” Tony stood, pushing things off the table with a clatter. Everyone winced at the loud noise. “I need to shave. And I believe I remember telling all youse—” he stopped and began to walk towards Steve. Rhodey quickly came in front of him, trying to stop him.

Rhodey stopped him, cautioning him, “Tony, Tony, Tony!”

“Alive and otherwise, what we needed was a suit of armor around the world! Remember that? Whether it impacted our precious freedoms or not-- that's what we needed!” His voice was getting louder as he reminded the super soldier of what he had said before.

“Well, that didn't work out, did it?” Steve argued, becoming angry and upset himself.

Clearly, he said, “I said, ‘We'll lose’. You said, ‘We'll do that together too.’ And guess what, Cap?” He stopped for a moment and pointed at Steve. “We lost. And you weren't there. But that's what we do, right? Our best work after the fact? We're the Avengers, we're the Avengers. Not the Prevengers.”

“Okay,” Rhodey tried, holding Tony upright and away from Steve.

“Right?” Tony asked again.

“You made your point. Just sit down,” Rhodey all but begged, wanting this nastiness to be over.

“Okay…”

“Okay?” he asked, unsure if Tony would actually listen.

Shaking his head Tony responds “Nah, nah. Here's my point. You know what?”

“Tony, you're sick,” Rhodey reminded.

“She's great, by the way.” Tony points to Carol on the other side of the room.

“Sit down. Sit,” Rhodey ordered.

“We need you. You're new blood. Bunch of tired old mules!” Tony walked right up to Steve's face, his voice hushing down to a venomous whisper. “I got nothing for you, Cap! I got no coordinates, no clues, no strategies, no options. Zero. Zip. Nada. No trust. Liar.” At that same moment, Tony grabbed at his chest, ripping the nanotechnology arc reactor off his chest. He placed it in Steve’s hand. “Here, take this. You find him, and you put that on. You hide.”

After all that fighting, Tony fell to the ground. Steve and Shannon were by his side and everyone is starting to gather around him.

“Tony!” Steve said with concern as Tony fell down.

“I'm fine. I…” Tony managed to get out before collapsing and being rendered unconscious.

Everyone in the room made a move towards him, quickly getting him to a bed.

Moments later, Tony was resting in the room nearby, with Shannon at his side. From that point on he would have to be bed ridden until he was back to his normal health. Rhodey walked out of the room, informing everyone, “Bruce gave him a sedative. He's gonna probably be out for the rest of the day.”

“You guys take care of him. And I'll bring him a Xorrian Elixir when I come back,” Carol stated as she started to walk away.

“Where are you going?” Nat asked after her.

“To kill Thanos,” she confidently informed.

You raised your eyebrows in surprise, and somewhat offense. Why did she think she was capable?

“Hey, you know, we usually work as a team here, and between you and I, morale's a little fragile,” Natasha explained.

“We realize up there is more your territory, but this is our fight too,” Steve reminded.

“You even know where he is?” Rhodey asked.

“I know people who might.”

“Don’t bother,” Nebula suddenly said from behind everyone. She stood in the doorway. “I can tell you where Thanos is.”

You turned to face her, emotions returning to your body very quickly. You were blinded by rage in an instant. All you’d wanted since Loki disappeared was to find Thanos, use the stones, and kill him. That was it. And she held the key to it all and she’d withheld it for twenty-four hours.

She led everyone into a room with a holographic map. She and Rocket explained where he was and how to get there.

Everyone was in disbelief. You’d all been waiting for this, having no idea the chance to go after him would come so soon.

“We’d be going in short handed, you know,” Bruce reminded uneasily.

Rhody chimed in, “Look he still has the stones, so....”

“So let’s go get him… Use them to bring everyone back,” Carol added in.

“Just like that?” Rhodey asked.

“Yeah just like that,” Steve affirmed.

Natasha added, “Even if there's a small chance that we can undo this... I mean we owe it to everyone who's not in this room to try.” A pang of heartache hit your chest at her words.

“If we do this, how do we know it's gonna end any differently than it did before?” Bruce asked desperately.

“Because before, you didn't have me,” Carol answered.

“Not to mention I’ll be offense, instead of defense. Thor and I made mistakes. We can right them this time,” you answered. “This is our one shot, and I think every soul in this room is ready to give it everything they’ve got,” you reminded ominously.

Thor walked up and called stormbreaker, right next to Carol’s body, judging her, sizing her up. She didn’t even blink at the gesture. “I like this one,” Thor announced before he smiled.

In one sense you felt somewhat proud of this new Carol Danvers for winning Thor over. In another sense, it almost made you feel like she was replacing you. You and Thor used to have a special bond. Now, it appeared that bond would belong to them.

“Let’s go get this son of a bitch,” Steve said as he glanced to all of you.

Steve rallied the troops as you all agreed to go after this bastard and bring everyone back. Everyone talked about how they would approach, how they would attack, who would hit where. This time, you weren’t a quiet pawn sitting in a field. You were one of the heavy hitters, using every resource they had.

All of you boarded the ship, and set navigation for “The Garden” as Nebula referred to it. Once outside of the planet, Carol said she’d head down for recon. When she got back, she said that there was no army or defense, it was just him.

“And that’s enough,” Nebula said and you almost wanted to say, ‘You can say that again’ but you refrained.

You shared a look of worry with Shannon before she squeezed your hand. The two of you knew this could just make everything so much worse. But you both had that small flame of hope that maybe… it could make everything better. In a few moments, maybe you’d have Loki back.

That was enough to ignite your heart.

All of you invaded the atmosphere, but slowly, deliberately. Surprise was the absolute key.

Carol was the first to invade. She flew in through the roof, knocking Thanos down, and grabbing his neck. Bruce in the Hulkbuster armor burst from the ground, and grabbed Thanos' Infinity Gauntlet arm. That’s when it was your turn to burst in. You used your dark, purple powers to keep his arm held down, away from his body and kept the gauntlet from closing or snapping. You used your electrical part of your powers from your other hand to keep Thanos subdued in an amount of pain that wouldn’t kill him, but at least disable him. Then Thor came flying in, and chopped off his arm.

Hearing him scream from pain was probably the absolute best sound you’d ever heard in your life.

Rocket turned over the gauntlet, and gasped, “Oh no.”

You glanced down to see why he was upset and when you saw the stones were missing, you were livid.

“Where are they?” Steve demanded.

You tried to keep your cool. You knew you couldn’t lose it. You absolutely could not afford to lose it. But you wanted to, so badly. You wanted to just snap and kill him. But you had to know where the stones were.

“Answer the question,” Carol ordered as she tightened her grip on him.

Your hands glowed with your magic as you released it in a threat to hurt him further if he didn’t give you what you wanted. Tears were streaking down your face before you even knew it.

“The universe required correction. After that, the stones served no purpose, beyond temptation,” Thanos answered and you curled your lip in disgust and heartbreak.

“You murdered trillions!” Bruce yelled, lashing out and pushing Thanos.

“You should be grateful,” Thanos responded.

“Grateful is what you’ll be when I give you a swift death,” you promised darkly as you stepped forward. You supercharged your power and poured it into him. He began to cry out from each of your three powers going into him. “Where are the stones?!” you nearly screamed.

“Gone!” he answered, barely able to speak from the pain. “Reduced to atoms.”

“You used them two days ago!” Bruce said.

Shannon put a hand on your shoulder, signaling you to ease up on him. Despite everything telling you not to, your head still had some logic and you knew if you wanted answers you needed to let him breathe.

Once he resituated, he replied, “I used the stones to destroy the stones. It nearly killed me. But the work is done. It always will be. I am...inevitable.”

The news of this hit you harder than the initial snap. This was your one shot. This was the sign of hope that everything would be okay. He’d taken that away from you… again… for the last time.

“We have to tear this place apart. He-he-he- has to be lying,” Rhodey tried desperately. You agreed with Rhodey.

“My father is many things. A liar is not one of them,” Nebula remarked as she stood off to the shadows slightly.

“Ah, thank you, daughter. Perhaps I treated you too harshly.”

You and Thor exchanged a look. If he wasn’t lying, then he was of no use.

You used all of your dark energy to force every one of Thanos’s limbs outright, making him levitate in the air, almost as if he were a star, each limb facing a different direction. The kinetic charge energy, you used to heat Thanos up internally, so that he felt as if he were being boiled alive. Thor swung his ax quickly, and he lobbed off Thanos’s head.

From the time you’d begun to the time Thor ended it, it was all only a matter of a few seconds, no time to allow anyone to properly respond. In tandem, without saying a word, you and Thor had righted the wrong that had been done to Loki and trillions of others -- a fault that should’ve never happened to begin with.

“What...what did you do?” Rocket asked, desperation and shock in his tone.

“I went for the head,” Thor answered before he glanced at you for a final time, a look of almost… forgiveness, respect, gratitude, sorrow, and closure all rolled into one was nestled in his eyes.

Your eyes found Shannon’s full of torment and grief before you walked out of the hut, completely in a daze… completely lost as to what to do in your life now.

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