#ive never been so ecstatic before honestly

[dnpg-hiatus-survivor]

sorry but not even a phrelationship phreveal could make me feel the pure unbridled joy and shock that this video made me feel

[askinkiskarma]

The Archer | Chapter X: Daylight (the end)

Chapter I Chapter II Chapter III Chapter IV Chapter V Chapter VI Chapter VII Chapter VIII Chapter IX

Summary: As Neteyam comes back to life, the two of you have to decide how you want this new chance at a future to look like, and that means leaving some things behind in order to gain others.

Pairings: Neteyam x Avatar!Reader

Word Count: 15,5k words (wtf honestly)

Warnings/notes: it's over :'( , so many feels i'm drowning in them, smut (kinky, filthy smut, 18+ Minors DNI!!!)., cursing, mentions of blood and death.

A/N: 200,000 words later, the Cardigan series has officially come to an end. I have so many things I want to say, but I feel like no words would do justice to how incredible writing this story has been as an experience for me, how much it's meant to me and will continue to. I said in the first chapter of Illicit Affair that this is the first things that I have written that will ever see the light of day, and to see how many people have resonated with it, engaged with it, it has been beyond my wildest dreams (another TS reference, ha!). I will never be able to convey how grateful I am to literally each and every person that has liked, commented, replied, followed, reblogged. I know you probably hear that a lot, but I mean it from the bottom of my heart when I say I love you, and I thank you for giving me a voice, and a sense of community.

I have one more Oneshot I am planning to write for this story, which will be set in the future, and then I will be moving on, and starting new challanges. I hope you guys enjoy this chapter, and once again, thank you so so much.

I've been sleeping so long in a 20-year dark night

And now I see daylight, I only see daylight

And I can still see it all in my mind

All of you, all of me intertwined

I once believed love would be black and white

But it's golden, like daylight

You were almost on the brink of drowning as you came out of the vision, looking at Kiri, who met your gaze with a mirror of your own, wide and shocked, thrilled and ecstatic, hopeful and joyful beyond any reason. You struggled to keep your cool, to keep your mouth closed, when all you wanted was to open it and scream, scream at the top of your lungs, scream for all the world to hear that you did it. You got Neteyam back. He was dead, but you revived his heart, you restarted his body, you found him in Eywa, you led him home. You never realised how literal his nickname for you would ever turn out to be, but you were grateful, for now and always, to have someone who loved you, who understood you, who shared in your every pain and grief, in your every moment of relief, in your deepest fantasies and happiest hours, who thought of you so profoundly, your being so connected to his own that your existence would be intertwined for life, for all life, for every life you led.

Holding hands, you swam towards the surface and smiled as you saw Lo’ak and Payakan hanging out. Payakan was officially reinstated in the clan and in his tulkun tribe, after heroically helping in the battle against the Sky People. Still, he preferred being with Lo’ak most of the time, and preferred being on his own. It was a hard pill to swallow, but one you were forced to many times, that, in time, you learn to love your chains. You learn to rely on the solitude, to accept it as your own, as a friend and companion, and the imprints of the shackles still dig into your skin even after they are gone. It was a phantom pain, solitude, and even when it was gone, you still felt it, still craved it, still wonder how long it would be before it inevitably came back. 

As you surfaced, Lo’ak entire body jolted and turned in your direction, quite literally on the edge of his seat as his legs were hanging off his brother’s fin. His eyebrows were raised and his eyes were so wide, they were emanating light in the night darkness surrounding you, like little beacons in the sea. Both his palms were propped upwards, towards the sky in an inquisitive motion, and you could tell he was dying to know, dying to find out whether he still had a brother. You smiled in his direction, a wide smile that could barely scratch the surface of all the emotions trying you, but it was enough for him to understand, enough for him to jump up, and run laps on Payakan’s back, yelling and screaming in relief, much like you wanted to do, much like you felt you needed to. 

“COME ON, come on come on, let’s go!” 

You laughed at you brother and you saw Kiri rolling her eyes, but you all had tears swimming like little fish in the sea, and hope in your heart, and as you helped your sister onto Payakan, you knew you had to hurry, you knew there were very few thoughts or words that could encompass what you were all going through. 

The tulkun made quick work of the journey, the gentle giant surprisingly fast for his size, and in no time at all, you found yourselves near the entrance of your marui, hearing voices coming from the inside. You stopped still in your tracks, the increase in your heartbeat so quick it made the world spin around you and your knees wobble, until they felt like the tendrils of the Tree of Souls, deep in the Omatikaya forest. Why were you nervous? It was Neteyam… your Neteyam. You’ve been together for a year now, you’ve known each other your whole lives. Seeing him hasn’t evoked this feeling in you since you were 16 and so in love with him your heart thumped at the mere mention of his name, beads of sweat dripping down your body at his mere gaze towards you, electric shocks down your back and to each extremity at any mere touch he bestowed on your body. His presence still evoked these feelings in you, the raw physical reaction you had to him unchanged in time, but you were never nervous around him anymore. Your love was comfortable, evolving from a wild fire, setting everything ablaze in its wake, to a camp fire, providing solace and warmth, providing comfort and home. 

Why were you nervous? Maybe because going through those flaps, and seeing him alive would really allow the fact he was gone from this world, gone from your life to begin with, sink in. Maybe it is cause it will bring to focus how close to losing him, to losing yourself, you really were. Maybe it’s because you knew his fluttering eyes and his lips wrapping around each word as they left his mouth would bring you to your knees, would remind you of how your last conversation was a fight, a horrible, insidious fight and that in the meantime, in his absence, you lost so much, including the promise of a baby you knew he wanted more than anything in the world. How were you supposed to tell him? How would he react? Would he ever forgive you? Would you ever forgive yourself?

“Angel, you coming?”

Lo’ak waved a hand in front of your face while he gently shook you with his other one. 

“Angel, you ok?” 

You gulped audibly, then looked at him with panic deep set in your features. His eyes softened taking you in, and he pulled you into a hug.

“It’s going to be ok. We’re all going to be ok. You did it, angel. You brought him back to life. Now’s the happy part, you know? Now’s the good part. Come on, I’m sure he can’t wait to see you again.” He took your hand in this and pulled you behind him as he walked, and you allowed him to guide you, appreciating the little push, as you don’t know if you would have been able to make it by yourself. 

There was chaos in the tent, chaos that tired you, that reminded you how exhausted and depleted of every possible resource you actually were. Max and Norm were busying themselves with machines and medical equipment, no doubt trying to make sure Neteyam’s vitals are alright, that he was alright. Would there be brain damage? Would there be physical consequences for his coma, for his lack of oxygen when he died? You tried to focus on one voice at a time, to allow it to ground you to the moment, ground you to environment around you, as you felt lightheaded and close to collapse. You found the only voice that mattered, the only voice that you would recognise anywhere, anytime, in any plane of being, in any state of consciousness, in any body or mind, in any alternate or parallel universe. The only one. 

“I’m alright, sa’nok. I am here. I’m sorry.”

You’re still yet to see him, buried under all the bodies of your family members, all straddling and caressing his arms and chest and legs and feet, clinging to him like they didn’t want to let go - like they couldn’t. You got the impulse, you got how necessary it felt, how demanding a compulsion. You stood cowering in a corner of the marui, allowing them the moment you got in the spirit tree, allowing them to wallow the loss and rejoice the rebirth of their son, of their brother, of their hero. 

Your hands settled on your lower abdomen, flat and taut against your palms, that you cradled and caressed softly, imagining it soft and tripled in size, imagining your fingers pressing down on it to meet the little hands and feet pushing from inside it to feel you, to talk to you. You thought sadly about the baby that was gone, your baby, Neteyam’s baby, your little perfect bundle of joy, and looked at the way Neytiri and Jake hugged their son tightly, so much love and gratitude filling the air around you, so many tears and cries filling the silence of your home. You knew then that if that was your price to pay, if this was your burden to carry, you were happy to do it, happy to have been able to be even a small reason why this moment was unfolding in front of you. 

A son for a son. 

A little synchronised movement between all of them is all it took for you to come face to face with the man you loved more than all the stars in the night sky, all the stars adorning his beautiful body, that stiffened as he took you in, his golden eyes wide as they landed on yours. You held the breath in your lungs and counted. Nothing else mattered in this world, not ever, not anymore. Nothing but those eyes. Nothing but the soul that was reflected so well in them, like mirrors to the depths within him, that nobody knew like you did, like nobody understood in the way you could, just like you knew he knew you. Your twin flame. You melted at the scrutiny of his gaze, that now migrated to your hands, to your lower belly that you were still holding affectionately and his eyebrows raised taking it all in. A small sob escaped your throat at seeing him, finally seeing him, at him seeing you, finally seeing you, exhausted and cried-out and marked in bruises and cuts, in thick loin cloths that were dripping in a mixture of water and blood, all the way down the leg and on the floor of the marui. 

The entire family turned around to follow their son’s gaze, and when theirs landed on you, when it shifted in between the two of you, when the air became thick with tension and anticipation, in your grief and fear, in his confusion and hope, you faintly saw Jake motion everyone out of the room. Tuk came hurrying to your side, and you had to break your eye contact with your mate to kneel and take her in your arms. 

“Thank you!” She was crying, small hiccups escaping her mouth with every deep breath and her small arms encircled your neck so hard they were hurting you, but you held her, allowing her to cry it out in your presence, that you knew consoled her. You have always been scared of the eventuality of motherhood, scared of your demons getting the best of you and manifesting as bad parenting, scared of the possibility of hurting your child without realising, without meaning to. Scared to be a bad mother. But holding Tuk in your arms, knowing what you meant to her, knowing you were pretty much her second mother and have been for a while now, it put your mind at ease. It helped you deal with the mind-paralysing fear and to some extent, helped you be hopeful of a time when your own child will look at you the same way.

Neytiri got up from where she stood and approached you, her eyes so red and puffy there was barely any identifiable white in them, and your heart constricted in pain at the sight. She’s had to endure so much. She hugged you, so tightly her beaded top and jewellery were scratching painfully on your skin and you smelled the faint smell of metal as blood started pouring out of you. 

“You know, when I first saw you, you were the smallest thing I had ever laid my eyes on. So small, smaller than I could ever imagine a baby being. I stood next to your mother while she gave birth, and had to watch her scream in pain, scream so loudly I thought the whole forest would wake up. I was pregnant then, and watching her scared me, scared me for when I would have to give birth to my son. And when you came, you were bloodied, and covered in goo and a little wrinkled, but then, Norm and Max washed you, and I swear I had never seen anything more beautiful in my life. Not just you, but your mother. And the look she had on her face, the love I could feel all around me, the instant unbreakable connection, the unconditional bond that would transcend time and space, would always be more than any words can describe. I loved your mother, my girl. I loved her so much, and I promised to take care of you when she passed. 

Imagine my surprise when you ended up taking care of us, instead. I always knew you were special, but to watch you grow up, watch you become the reason my clan is rid of a disease that plagued it for years and years, watch you fight alongside us, complete your Iknimaya, become one of the people. Watch you bring my son back to life… my son, that you have been connected to since before he was born.”

You were both crying as she was caressing your head, pushing your hair backwards and stroking it gently.

“When I was very heavily pregnant, I came to see your mother. We met in the forest, and she brought you with her, you were just a couple months old, and they had just managed to make a little oxygen mask for you, so Marj wanted to show you the forest. We lay on the ground together, just talking, like we always used to do. And all of a sudden, you reached out your little palms, almost like you were searching, and you touched my belly. And you just kept your tiny hands there, on my belly, with a little smile on your face. We laughed about it at the time, but didn’t think that much of it. Until just a few hours later I went into labour, and had Neteyam not too long after. 

I thought about that moment since it happened, every time you two were together. Every time it felt like you two were one soul, split in half down the middle, meant to one day reunite and become one again. It was scary, and foreign. You were human, and he was Na’vi. You would never be one of us, I thought. But no one could deny the connection between you, not even the Tsa’hik. When you were young, your mother told me in confidence she is working on an Avatar for you. That she feels like you belong with us, you always have. That you belong with Neteyam. I agreed, but after she died, so did my hope for it.” 

She looked guilty and torn as she spoke. “I pushed him, I told him to leave you, to give you space. I told him to find a mate, I thought that’s what needed to happen, I thought it would help you both heal, it would help you move on from a love that couldn’t be, that was impossible. I am so sorry. I had to see you both suffer and know I caused this.” You took her in your arms again and held her, your turn to console her. 

“It’s alright, sa’nok.” 

“When Norm told us about the Avatar, I was so happy. So, so happy, it felt like this was always meant to happen, this was always meant to be. I knew then that you and Neteyam would always find each other, that I was right from the beginning. That Eywa willed it so. Eywa willed everything so. The Avatar, the impossible to make Avatar happened, and it could only happen to you, because you had to be one of us, you had to guide us, you had to be Neteyam’s light. Your hands brought him into this world when he was born, your light guided him, and then brought him back to this world, when we thought we lost him forever. It was you, always you.

I will never be able to repay you. But I will continue to be your family, your mother, for as long as I still can, for as long as you’ll allow me. I will always love you, and I will always protect you with my life, just like you have continued to for me, for us, for so long. Oel ngati kameie, ma’ ite (I see you, daughter).” 

Your mind was at a loss for words at Neytiri’s confession, at her love letter to your mother, to her son… to you. This woman, this incredible, strong, capable, beautiful, intelligent, kind woman has done so much for you, has given you motherly love you thought you would never feel again. She welcomed you in her life, in her family’s lives, she gave you a home and a cause and a reason to get up in the morning, and you never thought you would be able to give her anything that would be able to balance any of that out. You were beyond elated to hear that you did manage to give her something, that something you did helped her, brought her comfort and safety and peace. 

“Oel gnati kameie, sa’nok (I see you, mother). You and this family are everything to me, everything. And I will continue to fight everyday to be worthy of it. Of you. Thank you.”

You hugged each family member individually, and thanked Norm and Max for their invaluable contribution to your and Neteyam’s health, for always being such good men in the storm, for being the best extended family you could have ever asked for. You watched as every last one of them left, and, with a deep breath in, you turned your gaze to him, the only person in the world - now and always. 

“Hi.” 

His smile dazzled you, feeling the dizziness you have been struggling with for a while, the ache deep in your womb come back into focus and knock you to your feet. You walked slowly to where Neteyam was laying, every step a torture, every step a moment in which your body seemed like it was catching up to itself, catching up to everything it’s been through. Ever since your dad’s message, your body fought and fought, it withstood everything that was thrown at it. Fight or flight always did wonders for you, until it was time to crash, until after the world settled around you and the adrenaline, the stress diminished, and you could finally feel the overwhelming pain that was lurking beneath the surface. Neteyam reached a hand out to you when he saw how wobbly you are, but winced when the gesture tugged at the needles of the IV fluids currently flowing inside his body. You grabbed his hand into yours as you plopped yourself to the ground, and he inspected you carefully, sorrowfully, frown lines so deep you thought they would never go away. His eyes fixated on the thick, unattractive loincloths you were dressed in, that were still dripping on the floor from your swim, and his frown somehow deepened at the blood that was clearly visible on the material and that had dried going down your thighs. 

Your hands travelled all over his body, from the hand he reached out, up his arm and on his chest, over his every bruise and cut that was way underway to healing, to his navel and over his abs and up again, until they reached his neck and face, his face that clearly showed him awake and cognisant, clearly showed that he was back to you, back into your life that he was violently yanked away from, and seeing his expressions, his eyes, reminded you of the vacant ones he left behind that haunted your every moment, reminded you of his blood on your hands and Neytiri’s wails, of how every ounce of happiness and love just dissipated from you like water on a hot day. 

“I can’t believe you’re here.” Your voice cracked in the middle of the sentence, and hearing that voice, so defeated and broken, so much like how you felt inside, was enough to push you over the edge, enough to make you sob aggressively in his chest, grateful to be able to do this again, grateful for the way his arms found their way to your back and hair, that he was caressing gently, his touch everything you have needed for days that felt like years, like lifetimes that you lost, that you would never get back. 

“I’m here. I’m so sorry it took me so long, Atan. You’ve always been so much quicker than me, at everything. It always takes me a bit longer to catch up to you, but I am here. And I’m never leaving again, not without you.” 

“Promise?”

“Promise.” 

It took a long time for Neteyam to manage to calm you down, but eventually your heartbeat lowered to an appropriate rate and your breath stopped feeling like it was burning your lungs and you were so dehydrated from crying that that also stopped eventually. 

“I’m so sorry about your dad, Atan. So, so sorry. When I saw him in Eywa…” he couldn’t continue. “I am so sorry. I’m sorry I wasn’t here for you, so sorry you had to go through all this by yourself.” 

“Neteyam… I am the one that needs to apologise. I have so much to be sorry for, so much that I need to tell you. I -“ 

“You have nothing to apologise for. Nothing. The fight, what I said, what you said, it was all wrong. It all came out wrong. And you know… when I left you then, I was so sad, so unmoored, like it was a problem that we would never be able to solve, but then, as I watched Lo’ak leave for Payakan and knew that I would follow him into danger once more, no consideration for the consequences, no other thought outside of saving him, I knew it then you had been right to say the words you said. You were right. And if I want a family, if I want us to move forward, it has to come from me. I have to show you what you mean to me, that I’m here to stay, that I will keep myself safe as much as the people I love, so I can live to see my children grow up, the way I’ve always wanted to. So I am sorry. And I will be ready when you are, whenever that is. Whatever it is, we’ll brave it through together, and I promise I’ll be here for you, and I will be more careful.” 

You had no idea how much you needed to hear those words until they left Neteyam’s lips, but as you did, your whole heart lit up from within, and the light that shone through the cracks helped mend them, helped heal it, helped put it back together. You would be ok. You and him, you’d be okay. As long as you had each other, there’s no storm you couldn’t weather, including parenthood. 

“I need to tell you something. And I fear when I do, you’re going to hate me. And I’m so sorry. I am so sorry that it happened, because it took it happening for me to realise that I am ready, that I am not afraid anymore.”

“What is it, Atan?”

He struggled to sit up so you could be face to face, and despite your wordless protests, you helped, heart throbbing at his proximity, and his presence that enveloped your own like the warmth of a sun, and when it was done, you sighed and continued, feeling soothed by his thumb tracing your lips and the white luminescent freckles on your cheeks. 

“When the ship attack happened, the fight with the humans, the effort it took to get my dad away from it all, the stress of losing you, the effort of bringing you back… there was so much pain in me, pouring throughout my whole body, but I thought that was just from all the wounds, both physical and emotional, all the wounds I had to withstand in such a short amount of time. B-but…” You choked on your words, hoping and praying that by swallowing them whole you wouldn’t have to utter them, not have to say them out loud, not to him. Your hand involuntarily went to your abdomen, that you stroked mindlessly, and when Neteyam’s eyes followed your movement, a look of terror grazed his face. 

“I found out… I was pregnant. We were pregnant. The little being we wanted, the little bean I was so scared of, it had been there, and I didn’t even know. I didn’t even know until the stress and the pain and all the loss and grief running through every inch of my being took it away, away from me, away from us.”

Admitting this to your mate was somehow even harder than you thought it would be, and you found yourself once again collapsing on his chest, once again pushing out tears from a body that felt like it had very little water left to spare, but still it gave you its last remaining sources for this, knowing you needed it, knowing there was nothing else there, but the tears, to drown the emptiness you felt in your body, in your womb.

Neteyam was reeling at your words, so much shock and pain, no amount of painkillers pumping through his veins could keep up, could ever numb this feeling down. But, as he watched you suffer, convulsing with each sob that escaped you, he realised the grief he felt was for you, for how much you had to deal with, power through, all alone. To know that this is what was happening while he was revelling in a fantasy land with all of his heart’s deepest desires come alive, it killed him. The guilt he felt ate him alive and left only scraps in its wake, enough for birds to peck on until only the bones were left behind. He should have been here, should have helped you through this, you should have been able to mourn the loss together, feel its unbearable weight together. He felt tears gather in his eyes and spill down his cheeks and neck, looking at your thighs that were smeared in your blood, just like your loincloth was, knowing what caused it. 

“Please, please don’t hate me. I am so sorry. When they told me, I realised how much I wanted it, how much, despite everything I said to you that day, nothing would have made me happier than to watch myself get bigger each day, than to watch you beam with pride at the thought of being a dad, than to watch us trying to figure out how we’re going to do this, than to know no other baby has ever been so loved, so spoiled, so cherished as ours would have been.”

The tears were unrelenting, hearing your pleas, laced in anguish and terror. He took your face in his hands gently, moving it away from his chest, that was now soaked in your own tears. 

“Atan, look at me. Please? Please look at me. You crazy girl, how can you ever, ever think I could hate you? What am I supposed to hate you for? Because you fought on the ship? Because you tried to save your dad? Because you worked tirelessly to bring me back home? What kind of person do you think I am?”

Your sniffles were all that could be heard in this tent that has seen so much, too much, too many tears, too much pain and grief, that would be forever plagued by the Sully’s misfortunes, but that Neteyam was adamant to change. He was adamant that the tides were turning, and that the only cries it shall ever hear again were those of pure, unadulterated, incandescent happiness. 

“Come here.”

His hand wrapped gently around your throat and the action made you gasp, but he pulled you towards him gently until your lips met in a kiss that promised to heal you, to mend all these unconquerable torment and reshape it into hope and wonder. He was desperate for your touch, desperate to feel you, desperate to make up for time lost and past gone, but he wanted to wait - you both needed to heal, to mourn together and move on, and right now, you both needed to fall asleep in each other’s arms. 

Neteyam woke up groggy in light of last night and all the drugs being pumped in his body, but as he felt your back snug against his chest and heard your soft breaths, his mind cleared and focused, and he was able to notice the rest of the world around him, such as his dad’s snores and Lo’ak’s senseless sleep-talk, as well as Tuk’s little body tucked in yours, as you held her tightly in your arms.  He really felt the need to get up, and stretch his legs. He felt the need to see the sea, to breathe in fresh air and watch as the nature surrounded him, as the Metkayina got up and ready for the day. He missed it, he realises. Missed all of it. It was great to be back in the clearing, and have you, and see the two babies, but waking up in your arms, with your pheromones inundating his senses, seeing his family share his space, seeing people exist outside of him and his problems and grief - he missed it and he was happier by the second to be able to experience it again. 

It didn’t take a lot of movement on his part for you to stir in your sleep and open your eyes, immediately turning your head to look for him, almost as if you were trying to make sure he was still here with you. He smiled a little at your panicked expression and the frown that melted as soon as your eyes locked, and the smile you gave him, wide and serene, with your fangs poking through, made him finally understand what you meant when you told him humans say being in love feels like having “butterflies in your stomach”. 

“Good morning, yawne. God, it feels good to say that again.”

“Do you think we can go outside? Just you and me?” 

You looked at him with a flicker of concern, but nodded softly. You turned around and patted Tuk awake gently.

“Tuk-tuk, I need to go, can you please go sleep with your parents, baby?” 

Tuk whimpered a little, but almost sleep-walking, made her way in between his mother and father and instantly fell back asleep. You both snickered at the sight and he wished silently he could sleep that easily. 

You got up, wincing a little as you did, which Neteyam dreaded, and carefully removed the needles in his body. You held out both your hands to help him get up, and he felt grateful for your help as he realised he could barely move his body by himself anymore, deep pain and numbness throughout his entire being. It took a long time and a lot of effort to get him outside, and he felt ashamed about it, embarrassed at the strain required to do the most basic things. Neteyam prided himself on his physical prowess, something he had worked for his whole life. He was strong, powerful, he was quick and agile, he was fast and limber and right now, he was none of those things. 

With a sigh, he lowered himself on the edge of the platform, allowing his feet to dangle in the water, that was warm against his skin, a big difference to the ice cold water of the river in the clearing. 

“It’s going to take a while, my love. For both of us.” He noticed your hand moving once again to your lower abdomen, almost a necessity at this point. You did it so often, without even thinking about it. He pressed his hand on you, as well, imagining a little kick meeting his touch, imagining the swell of your belly as life grew inside of you. He was so sad about it, but tried not to dwell on it, as he knew this wasn’t meant to be, and when it was, it would make the experience even more meaningful in light of everything you both have lost. 

“Does it hurt, Atan?”

You nodded weakly. “The physical pain I can deal with. It’s everything else that hurts more.” 

“I know. But you are the strongest person I know. And if anyone can do this, it’s you. And I'm here. You don't have to do this alone.” He struggled lowering his body so that his head rested on your lap, but when he did, the comfort it provided alleviated any pain and frustration in his heart. He nuzzled his nose against your belly and pressed small kisses all over, and you laughed softly as they tickled you slightly. Your hand found his hair that you stroked rhythmically until he was so relaxed, he was on the brink of slumber once more.

“I think it’s time for you and me to go back home.” 

“What?” 

Neteyam’s astonished tone made you giggle a little, and you almost didn’t recognise yourself or that sound, having been so long since you last heard it. 

“I think we should go home. I think it’s time.”

“Atan… we can’t go home, you know that.”

“Yes, we can. We left because Jake wanted to keep us and the village safe by hiding. But they found us. We’re not safe, and we can no longer hide. And if we’re going to fight, if we’re can’t hide anymore, I’d rather do it back home, where you and I belong, where we’ve always belonged.”

“Neteyam… your last words were ‘I want to go home’. You want to go home, and so do I. Neither of us wanted to leave to begin with. We belong there, with the Omatikaya. Our children belong there. Our children will learn the ways of the forest, they will learn to hunt and shoot a bow and arrow, they will learn to climb the trees and the Iknimaya, they will get their own ikran, just like we did. I love this place, and this clan, I really do, and it will always have a special place in my heart. And we will visit. We will have to, considering our brother will be their Olo’eyktan one day.” You chuckled again at the though of Lo’ak, his newfound love for this clan and the chief’s daughter, and how even in this way, he is a carbon copy of his father. 

“Shit. I never thought about that.” 

“But our place isn’t with them. And that’s okay. Sometimes growing up is knowing what works for you and what doesn’t, and knowing when to let go of the people you love, for them to be able to grow and evolve on their own, and for you to be able to do the same. You’ve held on to Lo’ak your whole life, clung on to him, and on a quest to protect him, you lost your life. Lo’ak’s always felt alone back home, and he always felt like an outcast, but here, he’s free at last. Having found Tsireya and Payakan, he found himself as well. He’ll made a great Olo’eyktan one day, but in order to do that, he has to not feel like he’s always living in your shadow, in my shadow. So let’s just go, you and me. Let’s go home.” 

Neteyam’s mouth was agape in surprise and shock at your words. He struggled to comprehend what you were saying to him. Go home. Their home, their real home. They couldn’t do that… could they? Neteyam resigned himself months ago in knowing his home was a long forsaken dream, that he might never see again. He resigned himself in knowing he will never be truly himself again, in knowing he had to live without an integral piece of what made him who he was, an Omatikaya warrior, rider of banshee, son of the Olo’eyktan and Toruk Makto, future Olo’eyktan himself. You said once humans had a saying, that home is where the heart is, and he felt that way most times, content in life as long as he had his family by his side, you by his side. But he didn’t agree fully to it - home was also where your clearing was, home was where he imagined his children being born and raised, home was in the trees and in the Hallelujah mountains, home was night rides with Seze and Neyn, home was where the Palulukan and Yarik and Talioang and Pali were, home was all of those things and more. And to have a chance to live in it again, have a chance at making his dreams and childhood fantasies come true, it was incredibly enticing, so much so his heart ached instantly just at the fleeting thought of it not happening. 

But how would it even work?! How would he ever be able to leave his family, his brother behind? His careless, stubborn, loving, amazing brother that he has spent every day of his life with, that he watched grow up so much in the mere few months they were in Awa’atlu, that finally felt like he had found his place, and Neteyam winced at the realisation him and his baby brother didn’t share the same idea of home. It pained him to admit that you were right, as you always seemed to be. Lo’ak’s home was here. The sea was his home, the sea would be his children’s home, before their birth and after their death, and Neteyam would have to watch from a distance, and get glimpses of the man his brother would grow up to be in time. He felt tears pricking painfully at his eyes. He was happy, so happy for him, that he finally found a place, found a family in Tsireya and Payakan, but he was saddened by the thought that, in the end, that family wasn’t him. Growing pains fluttered through his entire being as he realised childhood was over, and it was time to grow up, it was time to step up and be the adult that was needed, that would be able to take care of his own family, of his children and his mate. 

When you were younger, Neteyam saw you read a book that you loved dearly. Neteyam would listen intently as you talked about it, as you read him passages from that book and one of them always stuck with him as he made his way through life. He always wondered what it meant. 

“You will find little joy in your command. But with luck, you will find the strength to do what needs to be done. Kill the boy. Kill the boy and let the man be born.”

Now he understood. He finally understood that his death was the death of innocence and childhood, and it was time to let it go, and let new beauty, new life peer through, for new happiness to shine. 

“Let’s go home, Atan.”

════════════════════════════════════

It’s been a few weeks, and Neteyam felt himself getting stronger by the day, in no small part due to Norm and Max and their infinite patience in helping him heal, in helping him be able to slowly move his body again, his shoulders and arms. They said the journey to recovery would still be a long and strenuous, but that in time, he should be able to get the full function of his muscles again, and be as good as new. In those weeks, Neteyam watched blissfully as you were getting better, too, the bleeding close to completely gone. It was time. Time to talk to his family and let them know of the decision you two made, that only solidified in his mind in time. It was the right decision, the only decision. He wondered briefly if his parents would think the same. 

It was a good as time as ever, as the morning light beamed through the marui and filled it with warmth and patterns moving with the wind on the ground. It’s been a peaceful, calm few weeks and everybody could tell, the atmosphere serene and filled with laughter as his mother and sister were preparing breakfast for everybody. Neteyam saw you give him a pointed look, raising your eyebrows in their direction, and with a small sigh, trying to work up the courage, he cleared his throat and spoke.

“Ahem… everyone, there is something we wanted to tell you.” His heart started booming in his now healed chest as his whole family turned around and watched him intently. 

“What is it, ma’ itan?” 

He felt comforted by the feel of your fingers intertwining with his and the little squeeze that followed. 

“We’ve thought about it for a long time, and Neteyam and I want to go back home, to the forest.” 

His father’s mouth dropped, as did the rest of his family’s, and his fingers pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration as he sighed loudly and shook his head.

“Kid… we’ve talked about this.”

“No, Jake… we haven’t. We made this sacrifice because we thought it was the only way. We thought we were protecting the Omatikaya, the Na’vi, we thought by hiding we could keep this family safe. It didn’t work. The humans found us, the humans took so much from us. There is no hiding anymore, and we want to go where we belong, where we’ve always belonged.” 

“Dad… I know this comes as a surprise. But we are doing this. My whole life, I have spent giving up pieces of myself, pushing down my feelings and my desires, in order to be the version of myself I thought you wanted. The version of myself that I thought this family needed, the clan needed. But I’m no longer a child anymore, and no longer the future Olo’eyktan. I died, dad. My mate lost a baby, my baby, and I wasn’t even there. This will never happen again, I won’t let it. I want to be a good father, a good mate - like you are. I want to raise my kids in the forest, I want to fight for my clan and for my people that have raised me, that I have sworn to protect since the moment I passed my Iknimaya, since the moment I knew I was the son of the Toruk Makto.”

Neteyam looked at Lo’ak, who looked sad and angry. 

“I want to make it clear that I don’t expect anyone else to join us. This is something we have to do, but brother, you don’t. You… you’ve grown so much, Lo’ak. I watched as you found your place in this world, as you found your mate… your brother. The sea gives and the sea takes. You taught me that, brother. It took the forest away, and it took me away, but it gave you so much, and will continue to give you… strength, and a purpose… a family. And I will watch you become the man I always knew you could be. And when you become Olo’eyktan one day, I will know you are the best Olo’eyktan this clan has ever seen. A mighty warrior. A good leader.” Lo’ak’s face changed into a misshapen mess, trying to maintain his composure and not let the tears inundating his eyes fall, the way they were threatening to. Neteyam moved closer to him, patting him affectionately on the head.

“I’m so proud of you, Lo’ak. And I’m so sorry if my existence ever made yours more difficult. It’s hard for me to think of you as anything else other than my baby brother, but you are a man now. And it’s time to let you go. And I can’t wait to see you again, and get to see your incredible future unfold in front of my eyes.” 

Lo’ak said nothing as he slapped Neteyam’s arm away and pounced on him in a rib-shattering hug, and he was pleasantly reminded of the thousands of times his baby brother has done this when he was younger, back when his love for Neteyam was obvious and manifested itself physically, back when they were inseparable. Neteyam circled his arms around Lo’ak and patted his back and Lo’ak let out his sadness and frustration, years of pent up resentment and anger, years of feeling inadequate and isolated. They both needed this. The rest of his family quickly joined into the hug and Neteyam felt suffocated as his siblings and parents squeezed the life out of him, but he wouldn’t have it any other way. It was time for all of them to heal, for all of them to grow. 

You took Spider’s hand in your own, the two humans who didn’t quite belong anywhere, but who had a family they loved and that loved them and you watched the beautiful moment unfold in front of you, happy tears slowly falling down your cheeks, your other hand resting, as it always was these days, on your belly, mindlessly caressing it. Being here, in Awa’atlu, surrounded by the endless ocean, has been painful for you, filled with emptiness and grief and loss, but oh-so-necessary. It had been something you all needed to go through, a time of discovery and growth, a time to break and a time to heal. You realised with a small smile that Tsireya was right. 

Water connects all things. Life to death. Darkness to light. 

You were almost done. Most of yours and Neteyam’s stuff was now safely tucked in Norm and Max’s helicopter, deciding you would give Neyn and Seze some freedom to fly as wildly and freely as their hearts desired. Both of the ikran were playing with each other in the airspace above you, their happiness so clear it was palpable. Seze was hard to budge from Neteyam’s side, so protective and desperate to ensure he wasn’t going away again anytime soon, so much so Neteyam had to order her away to play with Neyn. It turns out, Kiri has also been feeling similar to you and Neteyam, and despite how much she enjoyed being here, how much she enjoyed the water and the new flora and fauna, she too missed home, and her grandmother, and her Tree of Souls. So you watched as she said goodbye to her parents and to Lo’ak and Tuk, and held Spider’s hand as she put the rest of her stuff in the helicopter. 

It was a bittersweet moment. The whole clan was here to bid you goodbye, and you started with Ronal and Tonowari, that you owed for eternity for the way they took you in, for the way they give your dad his forever resting place. You approached them slowly and thanked them the best way you knew how, with an “I See You” and a ceremonial bow, that quickly turned into a hug when that felt like not enough to impart all the feelings you held inside. It was strange to them, and a bit out of place, but Tonowari was quick to adapt and reciprocate, while Ronal was ever the stoic, although she did wrap one arm around you in a moment of uncharacteristic affection. 

“Thank you. We will both miss you dearly.”

“Don’t be a stranger, nantutetsyìp (little human).”

“I won’t. We won’t. We will be here so often, you will get tired of us.” Tonowari laughed while Ronal rolled her eyes, but a small smirk was still apparent on her beautiful face. You reached a hand over to her belly, that you touched softly. 

“I can’t wait to meet this little baby. I will be her favourite aunt, that’s a promise.”

You moved on to Ao’nung and Rot’xo, that you punched affectionately in the chest. 

“Take care of my baby brother and sister. Or I will come back and I will show you how us forest people handle conflict.” 

You hugged them both, and were surprised to see the hint of sadness in their eyes. You will miss these knuckleheads. 

There was no hint in Tsireya’s eyes, as she was full blown crying in Lo’ak’s chest, and you had to pull her away from him so you could look at her and remove her tears with you thumb as you caressed her beautiful face. 

“Don’t cry, sister. We will see each other again soon. You have to visit, you have to come to the forest and see our home, you have to climb the Iknimaya with us. And when you come, I will show you the labs, and I will quiz you on all the English that Lo’ak should be teaching you. I don’t want you falling behind on our lessons, ok??” 

“Yes, sister. I will miss you so much, I wish you didn’t have to go.” 

She gave you two beautiful shells, almost identical, turquoise and dotted in white bioluminescent freckles, just like she was, and placed it tightly in your hand. 

“This is for your songcords. Both you and Neteyam have a place among us, you always will.”

“Thank you, Tsireya.” 

You turned your full attention to Lo’ak, who was once again, contorting his face so as to not appear weak in front of the girl he loved, and in front of the girl he used to love. 

“Take care of her, Lo’ak. And of yourself. You don’t have us to save your ass anymore, so you have to be your own older brother now, and Tuk’s. Do you understand?” 

“Yes, Angel.” You were proud of how well you handled it, no tears up until now, but as you looked in the eyes of your best friend, of the boy who got you and your humanness in a way no one else really did, not even Neteyam, who shared your sense of humour and wild streak and your inclination for cheesy old school movies and TV shows, you couldn’t hold it in any longer. 

“Be safe. And visit, ok? And don’t forget us while you enjoy your endless walks on the beach and adventures with your new brother. Me and Neteyam still got dibs on you, do you understand?”

“Yes, Angel. I’ll miss you so much.”

“Me too, baby brother.”

Finally, you moved to Neytiri, Jake and Tuk, who both decided they would move between the forest and the reef, so as to spend equal quality time with all family members. They had no more responsibility, no more weight on their shoulders, no Olo’eyktan or Tsakarem duties anymore. They could just be for a while, enjoying the peace while it still lasted, and you were happy they could finally be free, at least until the humans decided to strike yet again. But the victory at Three Brothers Rocks definitely put a dent in their plans and budget, and you knew it would be awhile until that were to happen. You had time. You all had time. 

“We’ll be home soon, ok, kid? It would be great if you could clean the tent for us beforehand, ha!” You rolled your eyes at Jake, but laughed as you hugged him. “Enjoy retirement, pops.”

You moved onto Neytiri, who was so happy to know you were going home, and that so was she soon, ecstatic to see her mum again, to see the forest again. 

“Don’t take too long, sa’nok. Mo’at will not be happy to be kept waiting and I can’t live without Tuk for too long.”

“We won’t, ma ‘ite. Be safe. Eat well. Don’t strain yourself, you are not fully healed yet.”

You smiled at her motherly ways that she was never able to fully disconnect from, that you never wanted her to, especially when they were directed at you. “Will do, ma.”

You kneeled on the soft sand to take Tuk in your arms as held her as she cried. 

“We’ll see each other again very soon, my baby. Don’t be sad, you know I would never leave you.”

“Promise?”

“Promise, baby. Come here.”

You held on to your mate as you said one final goodbye to everyone, and then climbed onto Neyn and connected your queues, feeling her excitement overwhelming you at the thought of going home. I know, girl. Me too.

You felt your stress and anxiety melt away with every kilometre you got closer, with every tree that came into focus, until it completely melted from your bones at the sight of the forest in the distance. You looked at Neteyam, who was smiling widely, relief so transparent and obvious on his face, and you laughed at how it was mirrored on Kiri and Spider’s faces as well. You felt free. Free at last. You knew they did, too. 

════════════════════════════════════

Neteyam woke up like from a reverie, like from the vision in Eywa, back in your tent, in both your tent, and felt like he was floating. He looked at the fabric and counted all the dots in it through which light blinked carelessly, and felt warmth envelop his body as he tightened his grip around your sleeping form. It’s like he never left. Your home looked exactly the way you left it, both of you having spent a few days getting it back to this point. He glanced around, at the bows now back in their stand, at the quivers and the guns, and he hoped it would be a long while before they had any use for them again. He looked at your desk, and smiled to himself at how you did a happy dance at seeing them all again and having it all back, all the books your mother spent her whole life collecting and keeping close to her heart. He peered at the mirror you looked at every morning before you went outside, and the two songcords that were back where they belonged, hung on it, one on top of the other. It was hard to picture the life he left behind, hard to imagine the reef as anything but a dream, a hallucination. 

As he pressed a small kiss on the top of your head, he saw you turn to face him, wide golden eyes and pearly whites the only thing he could focus on as he took you in, in all your unbelievable beauty. Your gaze turned primal as you continued to look at each other, need enveloping you both like a thick blanket you wanted to get lost under. It’s been so long, so long since he had you, so long since he took you, so long since he claimed you the way he knew you craved, the way you both craved. You both found solace in each other’s bodies, in the way your individual needs were only met in each other - his need for control, your need to relinquish it. Even in this way, you were perfect for each other, made for each other. You were his match and he was yours.

His cock throbbed in need, in desperate need to fill you to the brim until you were dripping in cum, until you were swollen and sore, until you were begging him to stop while pushing him deeper in you. It drove him mad, your look, the way your pheromones were flooding his nostrils, the way the sound of your pounding heart matched the twitching of his hard member, the way the smell of your arousal was so thick, sweet and floral, he could feel it on his tongue. 

It took every scrap of self-restraint in him to not rut into you like a feral animal, but he had other plans and the surprise he had planned had to take precedence. 

“Atan… I need you to be a good girl for me and wait until tonight… can you do that?” 

You whined as you threw a leg over his hips and started grinding yourself slowly on him. 

“I have had to wait for weeks. Weeks, Neteyam. Weeks in which the only thing I could think of is your cock so deep in me I start to see stars.”

Neteyam growled, a deep guttural growl and removed your leg from him. 

“You’re gonna make me fucking crazy, Atan. But if you are a good girl for me, I will make it worth your while. And I will indulge your every whim… All. Night. Long.”

You threw your head back and moaned, and after thinking about it for a while, you eventually relented. 

“You better make it worth my while, or I’m gonna have to start without you.” 

He shook his head and kissed your nose affectionately. “I love you, my crazy, insatiable fiend.” 

Your patience was not one of your more formidable attributes, Neteyam thought tiredly as he was helping you onto Seze, a big frown on your face. You were definitely needy and desperate, and have been the whole day, which made it Neteyam’s day hell, having to push you away every 5 minutes, having to keep a level head for the both of you. You’ve been asking him about the surprise the entire day, testing his patience that he felt like he had infinite supplies of at the moment, thankfully. Eclipse finally settled and the mountains glowed with iridescent hues, that Neteyam made a mental note never to take for granted again. 

“Are we going to the cave? Or to the clearing? I thought we couldn’t really go to the clearing again?” 

Neteyam sighed for what felt like the millionth time today, and got behind you on his ikran. 

“You are a pain in the ass sometimes, you know?” 

“But I’m your pain in the ass, remember?” 

Neteyam made Seze land deep in the forest, in a place that was very familiar to both of you, and he knew you would know where you’re going as soon as you saw it. 

“So we are going to the clearing. I knew it.”

He grabbed your hand in his and intertwined your fingers, his other hand moving to your jaw as his lips closed over yours. You moaned and immediately deepened the kiss, to which he laughed. 

“We’re almost there, Atan. Come on.” 

You growled and threw your head back, but followed him without saying another word.

You knew you were being annoying. You could feel yourself being annoying, but you couldn’t stop, not when you have been unhinged with need the whole day, the whole month, since before that fateful ship attack and all throughout both your recoveries, throughout the journey back, throughout settling back in the forest. You still didn’t know what this was. You knew it was a surprise, but you didn’t know what it was or why it was. You were pouting now, walking pointedly towards your clearing, and you tried to relax and get excited about the fact you haven’t seen this place in so long, way before you even left for Awa’atlu, out of fear that humans might find you here and take you away.

You looked around you, at the beauty of the forest and the glow surrounding you, at how your each step was illuminated by the ground your feet were touching, and the howls and sounds of the nocturnal creatures coming out to play, the soft hum of the insects and the chirping of the birds. You loved all of it, missed all of it so much, a symphony that felt like that background music to your life’s story. As you pushed past the trees into your clearing, you gasped, the breath knocked out of your lungs at the sight. A red woven blanket was placed on the ground, pillows and covers enticingly waiting for you to snuggle in. You stared in awe at the huge holographic screen projected over the river, currently stopped at the introduction scene of Pride and Prejudice, your favourite book, the one you still had by your bed in the tent, the one whose covers were falling apart at the seams.

“Neteyam… what is this?” 

“It turns out, believe it or not, that I have been lucky enough to call you mine for a whole year now. Actually, it’s been a lot longer than a year, but our actual anniversary fell at a bit of an inopportune time, since you know… I was dead. And afterwards, we were both reeling, and grieving our loss, and healing our bodies, and when you told me you want to go home, I knew I should wait and do this properly. And so this is what I’m doing.” 

“I wanted to thank you, Atan. I don’t think I say this enough, but thank you. For having been my light since the moment I was born, until the moment I died, for guiding me back home, to you, every time I lost my way. For giving me a reason to be better - a better friend, a better sibling, a better son, a better man, a better mate. My whole life, I have looked up to you. My whole life, I saw in you the person I knew I wanted to be worthy of one day. I have watched, in awe, every day, as you became the most intelligent, caring, incredible, beautiful person in this world, a person who struggled so much, and went through so much grief, a person who carried so much darkness inside, and yet managed to emanate only light all around you, in everyone’s life. I have watched you be my sister’s best friend and confidante, my brother’s shoulder to cry on, my baby sister’s hero and my parents’ biggest critic and supporter and every day, I grew more in love with you. I have been by your side my whole life, and not one moment did I not love you, did I not hope that I would never have to be parted from your side, for as long as I lived. You have been the woman I have been madly in love with since I was 15, and the woman I hoped and prayed could one day be the mother of my children. I am so eternally grateful for every moment I get with you, every moment I get to watch you, every moment I get to wake up next to you, I get to look at you and know that nothing will ever change between me and you, between this formidable happenstance we call our love.” 

You were sobbing violently at his words, that made you feel so special, so loved and appreciated, that healed every hurt in your soul, that mended every crack in your forever broken heart, until there was only love, the love you felt for him, for your relationship, for the lifetime of memories you have made together, for the lifetime of memories you’re yet to make. He took you in his arms and held you, caressing you gingerly as you cried and sniffled in his chest. 

“I have a gift for you. Actually, I have two gifts.”

“I thought this was the gift.” 

“No, Atan.” 

You removed your head from his chest and waited as he went to the blanket and removed two things from underneath the covers. The first was a book. You took it in your hands with a confused look on your face, that quickly turned stunned as you read the cover. Pride and Prejudice. It was your mum’s book, but the cover was different. It was new. Made of wood, the woodwork detailed and intricate, with flowers and patterns, as well as a carving of the Bennett house as depicted in the movie that was currently paused on the screen. 

“This is actually cheating a little. This was the original gift I planned for your 17th birthday, that I never got to give you. I started the covers, but never got to finish them, and after I left, I thought I’d never get to give them to you. When we came back, I thought it would be the perfect time to finish it, and Norm and Max helped me bind the book. I know how much you love this book, and I know how sad you were that it seemed like it was falling apart. So hopefully now it will have a really long life, long enough to pass on to our kids, and their kids after that.” 

You always wondered about your life, about how it seemed so out of balance, so filled with sorrow and pain. You realised now, as you’ve always suspected, that Neteyam was the counterweight. Your good karma. He was what made all the sorrow and pain bearable, what made this life worth living, still so unbelievably beautiful, and exciting, and good. It was him. He was your gift, the Universe’s gift for all you’ve had to suffer through. You had no words that could convey what this meant to you, what his words and the gestures and this night will always mean to you, so you just kissed him, hopefully able to convey it to him in this way. He chuckled a little as the kiss came to an end. 

“You’re welcome, Atan. Here, your last gift.” He gave you a big cork board, and you recognised it faintly, it was a board that used to be in one of the labs you grew up in. Except now, it was filled with a collage of photos, photos that used to be hidden in your Pandora’s box, back in your old bedroom, where you kept all your secrets, all the things you were too scared to ever deal with. Photos of yourself as an infant, as a toddler, as a child. Photos of you and Neteyam, of your mum and dad, of the scientists, of the Sully family. And new photos, that you were seeing for the first time, of yourself, sleeping or hanging out with your siblings, laughing animatedly with Jake. Photos of you sleeping snug against Neteyam, photos that he obviously took in secret. 

“When did you take these?” 

“My dad has a camera that I use sometimes when you aren’t looking. Out of every human invention, I definitely think I like the camera the best. It’s amazing to be able to have these moments captured, forever. I have been collecting the pictures for months, and as we came back, I was able to print them in the lab.” 

You looked at the gap that covered the bottom right quadrant of the board, and looked at him expectantly. 

“That’s for all the new memories we’re going to make. It’s for when our children are born, for when we become aunt and uncle to all our little nieces and nephews, it’s for the amazing life we still have to live. I thought we could hang it in our tent, so you can look at it every day and be proud of everything you’ve achieved, Atan, of this incredible life you’ve led, that is only a tiny speck in the sky of the rest of our lives.” 

You smiled up at him, still in shock at everything he did, and all the thought he always put in his gifts, at how much he loved you, at how much you loved him. He took the gifts from your hands and left to put them by the blanket, away from view.

“Do you want to watch the movie? Or… are there better things we could be doing beforehand?”

You looked at him through your eyelashes, your vision blurry from how badly you needed it, how badly you just wanted to be fucked, like it was the first time, the only time.

"I'll take that as a yes."

His eyes darkened, pupils so dilated there was barely any yellow left in them, and he stalked towards you like a predator, like you were his pray to hunt, to take, to kill. You were panting in anticipation, your frilly beaded loincloth soaked in your arousal, that has been continuously pouring out of you all day, so saturated it was trickling down your ass and thighs. You couldn’t believe this man, couldn’t believe he was yours, yours to keep, yours to admire, yours to fuck until you blacked out, forever. He only stopped when he was so close to you, his breath was fawning over your face, and his smell, his musky, woody scent hit you instantly, making your tempestuous need uncontrollable. You raised on your tiptoes to bring your lips to his, but he stopped you, wrapping his long fingers around your throat and squeezing until the air left your body and the asphyxiation made you dizzy. 

“No, Atan. You’ve been a good girl so far, you don’t want to ruin everything at the last second, right?” 

He let go of your throat and you gasped, the sudden burst of pleasure making you moan and push your thighs tightly together, as the throbbing deep within you was so intense it was starting to hurt. 

“Fuck, Neteyam. Please, I just, I need you to fuck me. Please.”

“God, I love it when you beg. It drives me fucking crazy. You drive me crazy. I have needed to feel you, feel that pretty little pussy milk me, squeeze me, drench my cock in your cum for so long. I’m going to make you feel so good, Atan. I’m not gonna stop until you beg me to, until you’ve come so many times you pass out with my cock still deep in you. How’s that sound, mm?” 

You were almost done just at his words, the power they held over you unspeakable, the power this man had over your body still astounding you, a year later. You had no words, just moans, but it was not good enough for him. His hand squeezed around you once more and you were gasping for air that wasn’t coming, not until he allowed it. 

“I asked you a question, Atan.”

“Fuck. It sounds amazing, i-it sounds so good, Neteyam. P-please. Fuck.”

“That’s my girl.” 

The hand that wasn’t tight against your throat went to the back of your head, taking a fistful of your hair and pulling roughly on it, until your head was thrown back, and you felt a dull sting of pain when his canines dug into your throat, until blood came out and you went feral at the feel of his tongue licking over it, at the thought of it coated in your blood. You were reminded that the remnants of your blood were still circulating through his body, another way through which you owned him, you possessed him just like he did you. He kissed you, roughly, tongue darting over your lips and you opened them, drove to the brink by the taste of metal, of your blood on his tongue, in your mouth. You moaned in the kiss and he smirked, and you knew he loved seeing you like this. Panting, begging, mewling like a little bitch, desperate for his touch, desperate to be fucked unconscious. 

He lifted you effortlessly off the ground and knelt with you in his arms until he placed you on the blanket, your back loving the feel of the warm, fuzzy fabric. You reached behind you to grab a hold of your queue and brought it forward into his line of sight, and he smirked again as he did the same. 

“You want to feel what you do to me? How fucking wild you drive me? How deeply you own me, how badly I need you, Atan? You want me to feel your mind going blank as I bottom out in you, as I lick every bit of the nectar dripping in between your legs? Is that what you want?” 

“Yes, fuck. Yes. Please.” 

“Good.” He connected your queues and the influx of feelings, of desires, of savage, untamed emotions was almost too much for you to bear, eyes rolling in the back of your head. It was his turn to moan and the noise sounded so much better coming from his mouth, his deep voice reverberating deep within you, driving you one step closer to release. 

He skilfully removed your clothes and his own, leaving you with a glorious view of his incredible body, of his defined abs and bulging biceps, of the v-line that lead to his large, beautiful cock, rock hard and so swollen it was deep purple at the tip, slapping against his abdomen, leaking precum that you were dying to lick off it. 

“You are so beautiful, Atan. You are fucking perfect. I can’t believe you’re mine. I can’t believe my luck. I promised I would make it worth your while, let me show you I keep my promises.” 

He lined himself to your entrance, that was gushing in need, and you mewled as he teased you, slapping his dick against your folds, grinning like a devil. You arched your back and shut your eyes, deep frown lines on your forehead, that was already covered in a thick layer of sweat. He grabbed your jaw and pushed your head down to meet his wild gaze. 

“Look at me. Look how I fill you up with my cock, Atan.” Your eyes drifted down to where your bodies met, and you struggled to maintain you gaze as each inch of him was being buried in you, eyes fluttering open and close, the feeling too much, too intense. You felt yourself being stretched to the brim, until the border between pleasure and pain was delightfully unclear, until his tip hit your cervix, until his girth pushed against your g-stop, until your walls were contracting at the sensation you have been deprived of for so long. 

“Fuck, you take me so well. So, so good for me, baby.” He didn’t move, and you felt through the bond the intensity of his own feelings, so much love and care, so much need and desire in him and you waited, getting lost in this feeling, getting lost in the pleasure that so good, it was getting unbearable. 

“Move, Neteyam. Please, move.”

“I need to feel you first, baby. I need to feel the way my cock stretches your needy cunt, I need to feel the way your walls are throbbing around me, I need to admire the bulge in your abdomen as I fill you up. Look at it.” He pressed where the little bulge formed by his impressive length was visible, and as he did, you somehow felt even fuller, and once again you felt the need to close your legs, to try to get some relief from the torturous wait. 

Taking pity on you, Neteyam started a slow, maddening pace and he smiled when he saw tears in the corner of your eyes at how desperate you were. Without warning, he started rutting you like the little slut you were, like the way you have been begging for, and almost immediately your first orgasm washed over you with enough power to knock the air out of you and he didn’t stop, not when it was done, not until you came again, and again, and again,  until tears were falling down your face and into your ears at how overstimulated you were. 

“Neteyam, I can’t anymore.”

“Yes, you can, Atan. Come on, just one more and then I’ll fill this pretty pussy with my cum. Do you want that? Want me to fill you up real nice? Want to be dripping in my cum, want the whole village to smell me on you?” 

At his words, at the picture he painted, you felt the pleasure coil in you again, and you knew this orgasm would hit you like a tidal wave, keeping you on the ground with no power to get back up. 

“Y-yes, I want it. I want it so badly. I want your cum, fuck, I want it.”

“You want me to give you a baby? Want to make me a daddy?” 

“Y-yes. Yes, I need it, need your cum in me, please.” 

“Fuck yeah, baby. Take my cum, like the good little girl you are.” 

You both moaned as you came, the liquids in you mixing and spilling out of you, over your ass and onto the blanket. You didn’t know if it was all you’ve had to endure, or how long you’ve been without it, but this was definitely the best orgasm you ever had.

“I agree.” 

You laughed loudly, and looked at him affectionately. 

“I didn’t say anything.”

“I can feel you, Atan. I can feel the pleasure that washed over you, more intense than you have ever felt. I feel the same.” 

He pulled out of you, and pecked you gently on the lips. As you were trying to get up on your elbows, he pushed you back onto the blanket and you fell backwards with a soft thud.

“Where do you think you’re going? I’m not done yet. I told you I will indulge you all night long, didn’t I?” 

“Neteyam, are you not going to be happy until I pass out?”

“Isn’t that what I told you, baby girl? Did I fuck you dumb already?”

How were you still so turned on? How was your cunt still throbbing in need when you’ve lost count how many times he’s made you come already? You loved it when he was mean, such a stark contrast to the peck from earlier, to his usual demeanour, to his real, day-to-day self. You loved it, it made you squeeze against thin air, feeling the need to be filled once more.

His hands wondered over your whole body, over your breasts that he caressed and pinched until you whimpered, until his fingers were replaced with his tongue, the ministrations making you grind your hips against nothing, the noises coming out of your mouth more unholy with each second that passed you by, each minute that he was sucking and licking every inch of skin he could get his fingers and mouth on, until he reached your folds, still leaking a mixture of both your cum, that he lapped at like he had been starved, like this would cure the drought plaguing his senses. Your senses, on the other hand, were plagued by him and his skilled tongue, and the way it was pushing into you, sucking on your abused clit, until your walls were clenching once more. He pushed two fingers in you effortlessly, curling them to touch that spongy part in you that made you cry out in pleasure, and the stimulation was too much, the coil in you close to snapping again, your hips grinding on his face roughly. The animalistic moan he let out pushed you over the edge, and you squirted on his face, down his chin and nose and he laughed proudly as he licked it all off. 

“That’s my good girl.”

“How about we watch a bit of the movie and then I fuck you again?” 

You laughed as he made his way next to you and you cuddled up close to his chest. 

“Yes…daddy.”

════════════════════════════════════

Your family was in a tizzy today, preparations unfolding all around you for your upcoming trip, that you were supposed to leave for any minute now. It wasn’t going to be a particularly long trip, but it was definitely an important one, one that had you giddy with happiness and excitement. You were already packed, the clothes, gifts and medical supplies once more tucked away at the back of Norm and Max’s helo, both of whom were accompanying you, as well. Although never quite part of the people, both of the scientists were honorary Na’vi at this point, their continuous support, love and care for this planet and all its inhabitants not gone unnoticed, even within the Metkayina clan, who have taken a liking to the two. 

“Kiri, don’t forget the thing, the thing…” Jake was pointing aggressively on the floor at something by his daughter’s legs, and you laughed at how nervous he seemed. It was endearing and a little surprising, seeing how Jake was usually quite stoic and well put-together, especially when it came to his two boys. That has changed in the past few months since you returned home, the distance that always existed between himself and either one son or the other softening his rough edges, making him more open and affectionate to both of them. You guess it was true what they said, after all - absence does make the heart grow fonder. 

With one last smile in their direction, you quietly exited the tent and got up on your ikran, who cooed softly in your direction. She has been particularly gentle and tender with you recently, and you couldn’t tell if her having laid tiny ikran baby eggs was the reason behind it, or just general happiness and gratitude at your decision to return her to her home. Either way, you were grateful, and so, so excited to meet her babies when they were going to be here, fantasising about the idea that her babies and your own would one day be united, the same way you were. 

“Let’s go, baby girl. There’s one last stop I need to make before we leave.”

You got to the Tree of Souls easy enough, having visited so often recently you could make the trip with your eyes closed. You swore it would never be as long as it used to be for you to visit your parents, for you to keep in touch, to see them and talk to them, to make sure they knew they were missed and not forgotten. You wanted them to be part of your journey, in a way they never could before, and you were happy to say that regardless what was happening in your life, you came once a week without fail, nothing able to keep you away. 

The cove wasn’t desolate, several Na’vi lost among the tendrils, connecting to their ancestors, to their loved ones, to people they lost. You greeted each of them, all of them looking at you almost in awe, at the girl whose parents came from the stars, who stole the Toruk Makto son’s heart, who cured an illness that pillaged from them, that took away so many Na’vi men, women and children, including some of the people that were being visited today. 

You chose a part of the tree than was unoccupied, and connected your queue to one of the mauve tendrils swinging gently in the breeze. You were immediately transported in a place you were now very familiar with, your mother’s old house back on Earth. The humid heat hit you instantly, as did the smell of the ocean and the cold breeze that pushed sand into your nose and eyes, and you took a second to take it all in, as you always did, the beauty of Earth, so different and yet so similar to Pandora, always a treat, always worth the extra few minutes of reflection. You pushed the fence door and made your way to the house on the broken cobblestone path, and smiled as the sound of a piano playing could be faintly heard from inside. You didn’t bother to knock, and took your time walking through the narrow hallway, looking at all the photos that were hanging on the walls, a lot more than you remembered from your first visit, including new ones, one of you, human and grown up, in between your two parents that were smiling widely at the camera. Photos of you in the living room you were currently walking towards, playing piano and dancing with your father, propped with your feet on his as he swung you around. Photos of your mother rolling her eyes as she was caught mid-cooking, and a photo of your parents kissing on the beach, taken by you (you assumed) without them knowing. They were beautiful, so beautiful, just like they were. 

“Bunny! You came!” Your mum got up from the couch as soon as you entered and ran to your side, hugging you loosely so as to not hurt you. 

“Of course I came. Don’t I always come?” 

“Yes, but we expected you in a couple of days.”

“I can’t come in a couple of days, ma. We are leaving for Awa’atlu soon, remember?” 

“Ah, yes!!” Your mum face-palmed herself and you laughed at her. She was a little ditzy, you realised. You never realised that as a kid, but it was blatant now, more so by the week. Your dad joined in the laughter and came by your side, placing a small kiss on your cheek. 

“Hi, love. Are you excited for the journey?” 

“Eh, not for the journey, but definitely for the occasion. Thank you for the gift idea. He’s going to love it.” 

“Of course, bunny. How often does Lo’ak get to take his Iknimaya and become a man?” 

“Well, hopefully just the one.” 

They both laughed in unison at your joke. 

“I can’t believe how much he’s grown. God, he used to drive Jake crazy when he was a toddler, he would just run and run and crawl through tight spaces, where Jake could never fit through. He was an angel when Neytiri was around, but as soon as she left, he terrorised his dad. Poor Jake hasn’t had a good night sleep since the second Lo’ak came out of Neytiri.” 

“Well, that hasn’t really chanced. But he’s bigger now, so he’s easier to catch.”

The laughter was music to your ears, and you dreaded knowing you’d have to leave soon and not see them for at least a week.

“Where’s little, puny me?”

“Don’t call her that.” Your mum frowned at you, and you snickered at her face. You and… well, you, got along fine most of the time, but you realised that you were incredibly annoying and having to see yourself every week made you more appreciative for Neteyam and his never-ending patience. 

“She’s taking a walk on the beach. She loves doing that. She’ll be sad she missed you… and this little belly… I could just eat you, you know?” 

“It’s not that little anymore.” 

You placed your hands over your mother’s on your belly that was becoming exponentially larger by the day, and she squealed when she felt kicking meeting her palms. 

“Oh my God, do you feel that?” 

“Of course I feel that, mum.”

She scoffed at you, but she was too excited to rebut, too busy taking your dad’s hand and placing it where hers was. The baby kicked again and you winced, and felt the sudden urge to pee. 

“I need to go. We have to leave soon. I’ll be back as soon as I can, ok? Tell her I said hi, and that she better catch up on all the songs I learnt after I died.” 

“Bye, bunny. Say hi to Lo’ak and the rest of the family for us.” 

When you came out of the vision, you felt arms circling you, and you smiled as Neteyam’s familiar scent filled your every sense. 

“Hi.”

“Hi, Atan.” He was pressing small kisses down you neck, while his hands wandered on your body, from your breast, now full and barely covered by your increasingly small tops down to your belly, and he gasped silently when he felt the same kicking your parents did. 

“He’s kicking! Oh, Great Mother, he’s kicking!” He took you by the shoulder and spun you around and you laughed a little as the action made you dizzy. 

“We don’t know it’s a he yet, yawne.”

“I know.” You raised an eyebrow at him, but said no more, and watched as he lowered himself to your belly and looked at it in adoration, like he was venerating it, venerating you. 

“Hi, ma ‘itan. Be gentle to your ma, deal? We don’t want to hurt her.” He showered you in kisses until you melted in his touch, and by the time he reached your face, you were panting and in need. Neteyam groaned as the smell of your arousal hit him. 

“Atan, we have to get going, my dad’s already out of his mind with worry and excitement, and my mum keeps packing food, to the point the ikran are going to drown in the sea because of the overbearing load. We are the only sane ones in the family now, we have to act like it.” 

You threw your head back and laughed heartily, at his words, and at his tone that sounded serious, not an ounce of humour in it. 

“Fine. But when I’m hot and bothered for three days during the trip there, I don’t want to hear you complain.” 

Suffice it to say you were late to get going. 

════════════════════════════════════

As you spotted the familiar island of Awa’atlu, you heard the beautiful horn announcing your arrival, and felt emotion overtake your being at the thought of seeing your brother and Tsireya, as well as the leaders of the clan after so long. It’s been a few months since you have left, and although Neytiri and Jake have come here in that time, you have not. You were excited to see Lo’ak’s reaction at your news, and excited to watch him become a man, be born again as a member of the reef clan, that was now his forever home. 

You saw him before making out anybody else, his deeper blue skin sticking out like a sore thumb among the Metkayina. You jumped off from Neyn before she even landed, and you heard Neteyam and Neytiri both hiss at your recklessness. You were too busy to care, running as fast as you still could and wrapping your arms around Lo’ak’s neck in a tight hug. The younger man was too stunned to say anything, so stunned that his arms remained motionless by the sides of his body. 

“Hug me, you skxawng.” 

“Angel…what?!”

You scowled at him until his eyebrows dropped and his eyes softened, his open mouth curling in a soft smile, one you knew too well, one you loved so much. 

“Hi, Angel.”

“Surprise?” 

He pushed you a little and kept you at arms length as he inspected you, placing a hand on your belly. 

“How long have you been gone? You look like you’re about to pop.”

“You’re such a dick, Lo’ak.” 

“I’m kidding, Angel. I can’t believe this. I’m so happy. So, so happy. This is the best present you could have ever gotten me.”

“Oh, ok, then, I guess I’ll just leave the solar-powered projector loaded with all your favourite movies and tv shows in the helo.”

“WHAT?! ARE YOU SERIOUS?”

“Why are you more excited about that than being an uncle??” 

“Can I use the baby as a projector? Didn’t think so.” 

“Sing for us, Angel. You didn’t bring your guitar all this way to keep it by your side all night.”

“Fine, but only if after, Tsireya can translate everything I sing.”

“Ha, she’ll kick your ass, you’ll see.”

“Hey, I might be pregnant, but I will still kick your ass if you keep annoying me.”

“I see the glow of motherhood didn’t do wonders on your temper.” 

“Lo’ak… she will hurt you if you keep going.” Neteyam sighed, rolling his eyes in his baby brother’s direction. 

“Fine, fine. Just sing, Angel, please?” 

You looked at your mate who was eyeing you lovingly and strummed a song you knew he’d know, you knew he’d love. You saw his eyes go wide and then settled on a look of wonderment and euphoria, a look you’ve seen a lot of recently. You gave him a wink before you started singing.

We were in the backseat, drunk on something stronger than the drinks in the bar

"I rent a place on Cornelia Street”, I say casually in the car

We were a fresh page on the desk, filling in the blanks as we go

As if the street lights pointed in an arrowhead, leading us home

I hope I never lose you, hope it never ends

I'd never walk Cornelia Street again

That's the kind of heartbreak time could never mend

I'd never walk Cornelia Street again

It was a sweet reunion, one you desperately needed, and as you spent the night catching up by the fire, Neteyam’s arms wrapped around you and the sounds of your family laughing and chatting away filling your ears, you felt lucky for everything good in your life, that overwhelmingly outweighed the bad, and hopeful for the future and all the beauty it would bring with it. 

Thank you again for this amazing journey. I love you all x

Taglist (thank you ily x) @changing7 @erenjaegerwifee @im-in-a-pansexual-panik @winchestertitties @puffb4ll @rebeccao03 @ultimatebluff @cottoncandy23 @zaddyneteyamlovergirl @n3t3y4msm4t3 @loquatious-josephi-krakousky @eternallyvenus @fresh-new-yoik-watah @lu-the-ghost-reader @@miawastakens @mm0thie @fanboyluvr @amortencjja @lovekeeho @trixscarlett

[ginnsbaker]

I started off in support of the endgame relationship being with Yelena but after everything that’s happened I’m not really sure who I’m rooting for anymore. I firmly believe that if I encountered this in real life I wouldn’t have bothered giving them another chance because of my own personal experiences and trauma relating to that- as a child my father constantly cheated on my mother and made me keep his affair a secret and so much more that I could never forgive someone for doing it to me. BUT I think you’ve given this story so much depth that I honestly wouldn’t mind the possibility of Wanda being the person the reader ends up with, partially because you’ve been able to really include us in Wanda’s process throughout the story, I think you mentioned something about stories that involve cheating make no sense when they forgive and forget with no repercussions and that’s true. But this story has been able to show us both sides of this complicated fucking coin, and I’m thoroughly impressed about the amount of work and thought you put into this, I love it so much and I appreciate it. Can’t believe it’s all over in a few chapters, it’s definitely one of the few things I look forward to !

First of all, thanks for giving this story a chance. Cheating is in itself, a trigger warning and really puts off many people.

Second, it really sucks that you went through that. My mom experienced something similar and I saw how it broke her and she carries that brokenness through the years.

Third, I don't remember saying that, but yeah. Honestly before writing this I cheating was a deal breaker for me. And i kinda delved into Wanda's thought process and pov because i wanted to see if i can change my own mind.

Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts with me :) im kinda sad it is ending, but im also ecstatic because this is the longest fic ive written and the first time i will be completing a multichapter fic (i abandoned 2 before)

[tinyandbony]

diary day 1.

Today was hard but rewarding. I have been thinking about losing weight since the new year literally every single day. I managed to eat well for the first 7 days, but then it was my birthday and ever since I just pigged out basically. My stable weight has been around 59-60 kg. Which is shocking to me because i never weighed that much before.. my family and friends tell me i look good but i can tell that im overweight. My face is puffy as fuck and my arms are big, my stomach is big and my thighs are not skinny anymore. Its sad because i deserve to feel amazing. I got my nose done and im honestly fucking beautiful but i need to lose atleast 5 kgs to be deserving of my beauty, cause right now im literally throwing it away and diminishing it to nothing. Instead of being a solid 10/10 im like a 6.5/10 right now and its so ridiculous. But anyways— today i started my day eating a yogurt, then i ate a bowl of this indian food made of veggies and then i was thinking of mcdonalds like non stop. Ive been craving mcdonalds so bad and my mom literally offered it to me… but i ended up NOT having it. I had a salad instead and im so fucking proud of myself for doing that!!! Like ok im not ecstatic right in this moment bc i lowkey feel hopeless abt actually sticking to my diet .. but when i visualize the body im gonna have in the summer if i stick to this, i get so happy. Like damn im on the right track!! Im actually becoming!! Its not tomorrow, its not after tomorrow, its right now!! And thats amazing. Later i got hungry again so i had 4 sushis and 2 clementines. I told myself if i starve im gonna eat smthg rly bad later, and i want to allow myself to eat whenever im hungry— just as long as its either a rly small portion or its smthg healthy. So it was a successful first day back on the plan, and now i need to slowly start implementing other things like working out (i wanna do the 10k steps a day but i dont have a watch or anything yet) and also drinking lots more water. Tumblr helps a lot and im glad i started this blog cause it rly helps to have something visual to look at. Anyways, write tomorrow, bye. 🤍

[atthebell]

honestly the qsmp growth rate on ao3 has been way slower than i ever would've predicted for a myriad of reasons

reason 1: brazilians make up the majority of the fandom, along with a smaller amount of spanish speakers and some french speakers (and globally obviously there's more general interest, but it's less focused because those places aren't represented on the server itself). brazilians don't use ao3 very much, as ive talked about before when doing language stats, and spanish speakers also rarely use ao3. this means most people in the fandom are not posting fic to the archive, they're posting it on twitter or wattpad or other sites, and that skews the statistics for ao3 specifically.

reason 2: qsmp ended up being way less popular amongst eng speakers than i would've predicted either. i think this is also for several reasons, the first being because it's so lore heavy that that became a barrier for some people who couldn't/didn't want to catch up on what was going on. another is just plain racism and xenophobia, imo. there are a lot of people (especially english speakers, but not limited to them) who are completely unwilling to engage in anything in another language. even if their main pov speaks english, the idea of having to find translations for information or, heaven forbid, learn any amount of another language is too much for them and they can't deal. i saw this sentiment (and far worse) expressed repeatedly on here by people who otherwise would have been ecstatic over a lore & rp-heavy minecraft server.

reason 3: the discourse. despite being way less insane than dsmp discourse, qsmp was seen as drama-filled and constantly rife with fandom discourse. i would argue this was far worse when it came to actual treatment of ccs (there are many instances i could pull up but i won't bother right now) and that fandom discourse (on here in particular) was not actually that bad relatively. nowhere near the levels of blocking i did back during 2021 (a year that will live in infamy).

reason 4: server slowdown & eventual end. the server started to go downhill during the eggs disappearance and never really improved; the amount that players logged on plummeted then and never recovered plus so many interesting plot threads got dropped and were never seen again. i would expand on this but it'll just depress me so let's move on

reason 5: this one is kind of basic but paired with the above, people went back to school. smps always get way more traffic in terms of viewership during the summer because the key demographic (~14-24) is either in high school or college courses from september to may/june. i know if id still been in school it would've been impossible for me to watch as much qsmp as i did, and many people have to take a step back from fandom when they have a significant course load.

those are all the big reasons that i think the growth rate really was never that high but also slowed down considerably until where we are now, which is about one fic per three hours? that's about what it seems to be from how ive been watching it the last week or so. which is nothing to scoff at, most fandoms on ao3 never get even close to 10k works nor a fic a day even but for this particular fandom does seem low.

QSMP HAS 10K WORKS FINALLY!!

[jolienjoyswriting]

The Maiden in the Mist (ft. Riku (the-minuscule-task), Ch. IV

Chapter 4 of 4 for "The Maiden in the Mist," a fan fiction story.

In the morning after a peaceful slumber, the ryū and kitsune discuss the future of their newfound relationship.

Word count: 2,620 – Character count: 15,228 Drafted: April 5th, 2023 Revised: April 6th, 2023 –

“Everybody wants a big dragon wife. uwu”     – the-miniscule-task

The more I wrote in this story, the more I found myself in full agreement with these words.  I… haven't fallen for a character so hard since jayrnski's Maple.  I guess… that's just my preference; I really like sweet, cute, innocent girls.  And, honestly?  While I'm not sure who's sweeter or more innocent between Riku and Maple, I do know that when I wrote this story… I was completely head-over-heels for the big, cuddly ryuusei waifu~ (Yes, I'm still aware that means "shooting star", not "nature dragon" or something.)

Riku and related characters and concepts created by and © the-minuscule-task Joseph Lithius and related characters and concepts created by and © Jo Li

[ ← Prev. Chapter | Next Chapter → ]

    "Mm…  Mmmmm…"

    My body moved and I felt short of breath.  Consciousness was coming back to me, slowly but surely.  My eyes fluttered a little… then they focused on something… green.  I tried to talk, but my mouth wouldn't cooperate.  I squirmed a little and found that I couldn't move very much.  Eventually, I started to realize… I was bound on the spot and my mouth – or rather, my lips – were being used.  By the time I'd fully understood what was going on, all the things locking me in place were released all at once.

    "Yozefu-san!"     I blinked several times in a row.  A familiar, green set of eyes was looking at me.     "Yozefuuu…"     And they were wet…

    "Oh…  H-hey, Riku," I whispered as I stretched.  "What's up?"     Riku, the lizard… dragon… uh… the cute thing from the hot spring was leaning on her arm next to me.  She looked ecstatic, beaming at me and half-crying.  As I looked around, I noticed that… we were still in that room at the hot spring.  That kind of made sense.     "I fell asleep…" I commented, sitting up.  "What time is it?"     I looked around for my phone… only for Riku to turn my head back her way.  She leaned in and offered a hard smooch before drawing back.  It was enough to get me blushing…     "W-well," I said with a nervous smile, "someone's affectionate this… morning?"     I looked toward the nearby window.  Yep.  It was morning…     "God… I don't know how people in Oedo did it…" I said, popping some joints as I stretched more.  "These straw mats are brutal on the back…"     I sighed, then I smiled.     "So?" I asked, gesturing to her.  "What's up?"     Riku looked like she was bursting at the seams to tell me something.  I'm pretty sure she'd been waiting for me to stop talking and pay attention…  I felt a little bad about that.

    "Yū sutēitto uisu mī!" she said with the usual amount of Engrish.  "Sankku yū…"     She gently stroked my cheek and looked at me with enough warmth to melt even the coldest of winters…     "Ai rāvvu yū, Yozefu…"     My brain hadn't quite caught up to what she was trying to tell me.  Something about staying with her?  As she leaned in and gave me another kiss, though, my brain finally translated her words.  And… I pulled away.     "Riku…?"  I stared, wide-eyed and red-faced.  "W-wait…  What do you–"     I paused, then I grabbed my phone.     "What do you mean you love me?" I had it ask in Japanese.     "Mm!"     Riku reached over… and drew a little heart over my heart.     "Rāvvu!" she exclaimed, beaming with pride.  Oh, crap…

    "Riku!" I cried.  "Hold the phone– I mean put on the breaks– ah…  Chottomatte!"     "Eeehh?"  The girl flinched, looking like I'd just struck her.  "Yozefu-san…?"     She smiled again… but tears were starting to build in her eyes.     "Rikaidekinai…  A-anata mo watashi o aishite i… iru to omoimashita ka?  Otagai-sukinara… d-dō shita no?"     I didn't know what she was saying.  I never did.  But I didn't need to.  She was huffing and trying desperately to keep from breaking into loud sobs.  I hated making her cry…     "No…" I whispered, reaching up and stroking her cheek.  "I…"     She closed her eyes, immediately calming as she leaned into my hand.  God… how could I deny such a warm, sweet, sensitive girl like her…?

    "Marry me."

    Riku's eyes slowly opened and she looked at me like a confused child might.  She was still leaning into my hand and her tears had calmed, but something was still wrong.  When my phone translated those two words into Japanese for her… she didn't seem to process them.  Then, without warning…     "Eh?  Eeehh…?  Eeeeehhh…?!"     She whipped back and looked at me like I'd gone insane!

    Okay, so… I don't exactly know how to transcribe what she said at that point…  It was… a lot of syllables.  I'm sure there were some whole words in there, too.  I'm just not entirely sure she was saying anything coherent.  She was in a full-blown panic!  Apparently… I'd… misunderstood her.  Like… severely.  And the worst part?  I'd only "proposed" to her as a joke…

    "Riku!  Riku, calm down–"     "Chottomatte, Yozefu!  Watashi wa anata–"     "I didn't mean– I was only–"     "Kekkon shitakunai!!  Wa-wa-watashitachiha otagai–"     "I-I'm sorry!!  I'm sorry… I…"     Riku was going to say something else, I'm sure.  When she saw me break down crying, though…     "Yozefu-san…?"     She snapped out of her panic… and went into full "comfort mode".

    I sniffled and shivered as she pulled me into her arms, rocking me and singing some Japanese… lullaby, maybe?  Whatever it was, it was the sweetest thing I'd heard in a long time… and it helped me stop panicking.  Heh.  I guess she just had that effect on me.  And I clearly had that effect on her…

    "Rāvvu…"

    Once we were both pretty sure I was calm, I leaned back and looked at her.  She spoke again, but in a softer voice than normal.

    "Rāvvu…" she almost whispered, holding up her hands in a heart shape.     "L… love…" I answered, returning the gesture.     "Dokidoki…" she continued, moving her hands forward and back like a heartbeat.     "Bump-bump…" I replied, doing the same.     "Suriru…"     "Um… 'thrill'?"  I wasn't sure about that one.     She nodded.  Then, she brought a hand up and gently poked in the middle of where my curled hands rested.     "Rāvvu yū, Yozefu…"     "I… I love you, too?"  I was starting to get confused, again.  What was she getting at…?     The dragon girl held a finger up.  She said a bunch of stuff into her phone.  Then, I listened as it played back in English…

    "There are many kinds of love in this world.  Conjugal love.  I love dogs and flying discs.  Love between friends.  Joseph, I love you as a friend.  You have come very close to me in a very short time and in a very meaningful way.  I hope we can get married someday.  Until then, I want to share love like the one we shared.  Cuddle.  I hate tea.  Say you will remain my friend."

    We both sort of… looked at each other.  Then, we looked at the phone.  Mostly in confusion.  Even though Riku's knowledge of English was about as limited as my knowledge of Japanese, she was pretty sure that a lot of what she said got lost in that translation.  Instead of trying again, though, she just sighed and tried something different.

    "Rāvvu yū, Yozefu," she repeated.  "Kawaii kitsune furīenddo!  Etooo���"     She paused, looking down as she desperately tried to "convert" words in her head.     "Hāguzu!" she chirped.  "Kishizu!  Dakishimeru…"     She gestured to me as she spoke.  First, she wrapped her arms around the air, squeezing.  Then, she brought a hand up and blew a kiss.  Lastly, she laid down and seemingly nuzzled the straw mat, scooting closer to some… thing?  I didn't get it, at first…  But, then…     "Riku…?"     She sat back up.  When she saw me smile, she smiled, too.

    "'Love'… 'friend'?" I asked.  She nodded, so I then asked, "You love me as a friend?"     Yes.  I know.  The phone had said that clearly.  Still… I wanted to confirm it.     She sort of understood what I was saying.  There was a look of confusion, followed by a bright smile… followed by another confused look, and an "Etooo…"     "Riku."     She perked.  When I leaned in and kissed her nose… she giggled, then she pulled me into a hug.  Okay, I think we were on the same page, finally…

    "So, I guess sex is off the table for now?"     I made sure my translator was off before I made my dumb joke.  However…     "Dainamaitto Sekkushī, ban-ban."     I had to stifle a swear.  She'd whispered to me, then she very gently kissed the base of my ear.  She was teasing me!  Luckily for us both, she stopped almost immediately and giggled.

    "Hey, uh…"  I turned my translator back on and asked, "Please don't be upset, but when I asked you to marry me, I was only kidding."     "Mm…"  She softly nodded, giving me a thumbs-up and a wink.  "Nō purobaremu!"     She brightly smiled at me.  What a relief…     "Also…"  I paused before asking, "Did you understand the last thing I said?"     "What you said when I replied, 'Dynamite sexy, bang-bang'?" she answered through her own translator.     I nodded.  "Yeah."     "I heard…" she began, her translation app skipping the word "sekkusu" for some reason, "but I didn't understand.  Was it important?"     I paused…  "Can I ask you something personal?"     She blushed, but she nodded.     "Why did you offer your body to me at the hot spring?"     I'm… not sure my translator did its job correctly.  Riku tilted her head as if processing what it said that I said.  After a few seconds, she talked into her phone and it translated.     "What does 'offering my body' mean?"     "You… seemed like you wanted to have sex after you checked to see if I was okay.  But, you seemed apprehensive, too…  Were you just being nice?"     The girl deeply blushed before the second thought got translated.  Apparently, the translation had worked that time.     "Etooo…"  She bit her lower lip.     "You don't have to tell–"     My translator tried to process that as she cut me off.     "I wanted to have sex," her translator told me as she uncomfortably shrank, "but I was scared.  We were strangers, but you seemed nice.  If you had tried… I would have let you…"     I felt a little tense.  There was a question I wanted to ask… but I wasn't sure I should.     "Did you want to have sex right now?"     I blushed as she suddenly asked the question for me, instead.  Well… not verbatim.  Her translator didn't relay the inflections, stammers, squeaks, or pauses very well.  Regardless, it still made me blush and fold my ears.     "Did you want to have sex?" I asked through my translator.     She shivered, blushing and looking… uncomfortable.     She whispered something that translated to: "U-um… if– if you want me to?"     Yep.  That was all I needed to make a decision.

    "E-eto– ch-chottomatte…!  Ah– mm…"

    I scooted over and knelt beside the girl, wrapping my arms around her shoulders and hugging her.  As I nuzzled her cheek, she changed from a nervous wreck into a warm, dragon-shaped kind of putty, heavily leaning into me and closing her eyes.  We were still tense, no doubt, but I think she appreciated the fact that I didn't want to just… use her like that.  What worried me, though, was the fact that she wasn't trying to cuddle back…     "Are you okay?"     She softly nodded in response to my translator.     "Do you want some water?"     She nodded again and I got up.  When I came back with a full teapot of cool water, she gently accepted it and put her lips to the spout, taking small sips.     "I'm sorry for upsetting you…" I whispered.     My phone picked it up despite my quiet tone, then Riku looked at me.     "Yozefu-kun?"  She looked… hopeful.  "Kissu me?"     I smiled.  "Okay."     The girl set her teapot down and turned to face me.  When I leaned in to kiss her… she pulled me in tight!  I blushed hard as she wrapped her entire snout around my muzzle and held me in place.  Was she going to tongue-kiss me…?!  I got my answer almost immediately… as she blew into my mouth.  Hard.

    As I jerked away, sputtering and coughing, she just laughed and laughed…  Eventually, I started to smile, then I laughed a little.     "Well, now I can tell people you blew me…" I joked.     "Sate," my cell phone repeated in Japanese, "ima dewa anata ga watashi o fukitobashita koto o hitobito ni tsutaeru koto ga dekimasu."     My ears fell.  "God damn it…"  Luckily…     "Yū burō mai mainddo, bēbī!"     Riku just winked and fired "finger guns" at me before giggling.  Apparently, my app had translated that sentence as something like "you blow me away".  We both laughed, then, as my phone picked up her Engrish and tried to translate it into Japanese.  I had no idea how close it was, but again… she seemed amused.

    "Anyway…" I began anew, "I really like you, Riku."     She smiled as my phone translated for me.  "I like you, too, Joseph!" her phone helpfully answered.     "I'd like to spend more time with you… if– if that's okay?"     She blushed and squirmed when my phone finished.  Then, she nodded.     "Kissu?"     Her face brightened and she smiled.  "Kissu!"     I leaned in again before telling her, "No burō."     "No burō!" she giggled.     I smiled, then I scooted closer.  We held each other close as she shared another long kiss…  God, she was good at kissing.

    "Mm…"     I blushed, my ears flicking as the kiss ended.     "Reddoroketto?"     "Wh-what?"     Riku giggled and tried to hide her face… but she asked again, "R… reddoroketto?"     Oh… my god.  Was she… was she asking if…?  I shyly nodded… and she squirmed, giggling.  Then, she leaned over, whispering something in my ear that I'm not quite sure I heard correctly.  Unless I'm wrong, though… I swear… swear… she whispered in her cutest voice… "Hoonī foo yuū, bēbī…"     I… I froze.  When she noticed me freeze, though, she gently placed her hands on my cheeks and leaned in, softly rubbing noses with me.     "Riku wa bakada…  Rāvvu yū, Yozefu…" she said.  She grinned, then, leaning back and opening her arms their full length apart.  "Ai rāvvu yū chiiiiisu māchu!!"     I couldn't take it.  I immediately burst into laughter!  When she did, too, we both fell over and continued laughing for a while.  She could be so damn cute…

    "Man… I never thought I could have this much fun with someone I don't understand…"     "Nani o itta no ka wakarimasenga, totemo umakatta ni chigai arimasen!"     "Same…"     We chuckled as we cuddled a little more, just happy to be there with one another.  It didn't matter that we couldn't properly communicate.  Friendship was something that went beyond the boundaries of things like language.  So long as we could look into each other's eyes… so long as we could touch each other's arms… so long as we could be open, honest, and sometimes even affectionate… I'm pretty sure we understood each other perfectly.  That's… probably why we never did end up having sex.  I know…  That's probably really disappointing – especially after all the build-up and tension.  But you know what?  Sometimes, it's nice to have just made a friend.  Especially one that's as amazing as her…

    Riku apologized on the morning that I was heading back to the States.  She apologized… like… a lot.  She begged forgiveness in two languages, even!  It wasn't necessary, though…  I understood… dragon or not… she just… wasn't comfortable in big towns.  She was amazing, though…  Not just because she might've been a magical creature thought to be extinct or because she was so tall and beautiful… but because she was honest.  Because she was pure.  And… because she loved unconditionally.     "Dorīmu avvu me, bēbī?" she asked, only half-serious.  She could tell how sad I was…     "I'll dream of you every night, Riku…" I answered, unable to stop myself from crying.     "Rāvvu yū tsū, Yozefu…" she whispered back, pressing her forehead to mine.     "Love you, too, Riku…"  I hated making her cry…

    I left Kurama Village feeling morose.  I managed to avoid crying on the plane as I remembered the almost two weeks I'd spent with that warm, beautiful lady… visiting springs, shines, and small villages as we got to know each other.  It hurt, knowing I wouldn't be able to see her again until my next vacation.  But, well… as the universal saying goes…

    "Shouganai"…

[thegayestnerd]

I know I never really post but things have been going really well lately and i’m drunk rn and really excited about enjoying my life and wanted to say that somewhere. I also wanted to say that I think I’m in love w my boyfriend in a way that i’ve never been before and this is all real wild for me

[marktuansvevo]

got7 reacts to something theyve never experienced before in a relationship

warning(s); slight cursing, sexual content in bam’s part

mark; being jealous

mark understood why his past partners could be jealous of him in his line of work. as long as it didn’t get out of hand, he thought it was cute. he was never the jealous one in the relationship. he didn’t even know what jealousy felt like....

....until tonight.

you were mark’s entire world. you excited him, you built him up like no other. never before could he see himself spending his life with someone before you came along. you made the world brighter to him.

but now he was only seeing red. 

you had been a trainee and never debuted, which you weren’t too upset about, you had a boyfriend you loved and a career with less physical and time demands than being in the entertainment industry. this meant that you knew a lot of other bands, stray kids being one of them. chan was, quite frankly, your best friend during your trainee days, so when you saw him at this afterparty you were attending with mark, you threw yourself into his arms.

mark just watched you from afar.

and his blood boiled.

chan spun you around in his arms, the biggest smile on his stupid, handsome face. “yah!! y/n! mark didn’t say you’d be here.”

you giggled, trying to keep your tears at bay. you put your hands on his face, poking his dimples. mark scoffed at the blush that was forming on his friend’s face. “god, chan i missed you so much.”

“bro, you look constipated,” bam snuck up behind him. “dude, your face is so red right now.”

mark rolled his eyes. “these parties are so annoying.” he didn’t take his eyes off of you as you caught up with chan, who still had his hand around your waist.

bam followed his line of vision. “shit, you’re not constipated, you’re jealous. yugyeom, come look at him!”

mark walked away from his intoxicated friends and up to you. you smiled at him before returning to your conversation with chan. 

“y/n, we have to go,” mark said lowly, smiling a sickly fake smile at chan, who immediately dropped his hand from your waist. 

“why, baby, we just got here? are you not feeling good?” you asked. he wanted to feel bad, your voice was laced with concern.

“something like that. see you, chan.”

as you got in the car, you smiled at him, poking his cheek. “somebody’s jealous, huh?”

“huh? of chan? i don’t know what you’re talking about,” he clenched his jaw, not making eye contact with you as he steered his car out of the parking lot. you were giggling now.

“you’re cute when you’re jealous. maybe i should make more time for chan.”

“y/n!!!”

jaebeom; wearing disguises in public

jaebeom never thought he would have to dress up in a disguise to go out in public. and jae would never want to put you in such a position. it was draining, and you, as his girlfriend knew that he despised it.

but you wanted to go to a concert with him.

and you wanted to stand in the pit with him and be part of it. don’t get you wrong, you loved when he bought you suite seats or could watch his shows from backstage, but you wanted to sway to ariana grande in th pit with your boyfriend.

“cmon, jae, i think everyone is going to be paying attention to ari. we can skip the opening act?” you suggested.

“y/n, i don’t want to take a chance...im sorry,” he pouted at you. you sighed, trying to figure out what to do.

“what about disguises?” he said. “like, we could wear our halloween costumes?” you were giggling to yourself, but your boyfriend seemed like the idea.

“i could wear my jesus wig and you could paint a beard on me?” he said with serious eyes.

“jae, you hate going out in disguises.”

“true...but, babe, this will be fun. you could wear your sailor mars wig, it’d be cute,”

okay, this was a really cute idea and you were warming up to it...if it made your boyfriend more comfortable to be out in a crowd of so many people, you were down to try it out.

“this really feels like halloween in july,” you giggled as you used mascara to draw a beard on his chin.

“do I look like jesus??” he asked childishly.

“well, you don’t look like im jaebeom of got7, that’s for sure,”

“you look like an egirl,” he laughed at himself. “don’t hate, you know you love it,” you said. “we look so cute, let’s take a mirror selfie and post in later,”

“no, then people will be on to us,” your boyfriend sent a pout in your direction as he looked at his makeshift beard in the mirror. “I look sexy as fuck in a beard,”

“super sexy aegyo please?”

the two of you arrived at the arena, not be noticed by anyone, but jae was still on edge, so you held his hand tight as you made your way into the pit.

“im so excited!!” you shouted over the noise. he shook his head before leaning in to kiss you. the two of you danced the whole night away to arianas crooning, his arms around you as you swayed to her pretty, soothing voice. the two of you let the world fade away while ariana sang honeymoon ave in the background.

jackson; his significant other saying ily first.

it was no secret that jackson was stock full of love and kindness. he had had other partners before you, all with him ending up getting too attached, or scaring them away when he said “I love you” too early.

he did not want to scare you away, and honestly, he had known he loved you two months into dating, but he didn’t want to scare you away, so he never outwardly said those three little words to you.

he wasn’t expecting you to say it, first though.

you had invited him over for dinner and a movie, just wanting a chill night in with your boyfriend. he brought the wine and promised to give you a back massage, so really, what more could you want on this chilly thursday night?

“what’s been going on, honey? you know you can tell me anything,” jackson whispered into your ear as he helped you out of your clothes.

“I feel like I deserve to oversee my department at work. i have the most education of all of them, more experience than them, and generally, I am more optimistic than my superiors….,” you sighed, letting him rub just under your shoulder blades, which had been itching all week.

“mmm?”

“i think they might be scared of powerful women who like to wear hot pink fendi suits to work,” you smiled, knowing he would be offended at your joke. you could almost feel him pouting.

“so the reason you can’t get the job is because your superiors don’t like the suits your boyfriend buys you? wow, what a way to hurt a guy’s pride…,” he followed your lead on the joke, trying to make you laugh because he knew this was really getting to you. “baby, I think you should go to their boss and see if you can get a promotion…tell them everything you told me, okay? i know you’re not only the best woman for the job, but the best person for the job…period,” he said, making you feel so overwhelmed with emotion. none of your previous partners had ever revered you the way jackson had. you felt so incredibly blessed and in love, you couldn’t help yourself.

“god, jackson, I love you so much,” you whispered.

the movement of his soft hands on your back stopped abruptly at your words. ‘oh god, was it too early to say that?’

“j-jackson…im sorry-“

“ive been waiting to say that to you,” he breathed against your lips, closing the distance that was between them.

“jackson wang….you love me?” you could feel the tears building. the man of your dreams was in love with you, too.

“i love you,” he whispered reverently.

“say it again,” you begged. he said it like a mantra.

“i love you, i love you….i love you..”

jinyoung; moving in together

jinyoung thought you were so cute. you were ecstatic to move with jinyoung. you had been living in your shared apartment with your mom your whole life and we’re excited to start a new chapter of your life. jinyoung didn’t think you were taking in the fact that moving is one of the most stressful things a person can go through.

he didn’t want to rain on your parade, though.

the two of you got settled into your new apartment after a long day of unpacking. jinyoung kissed you as you laid onto your new king sized bed. “im gonna grab takeout, you want your usual?” he asked sweetly, squeezing your hand. you just nodded, squeezing his hand back.

you watched as jinyoung walked out of your shared bedroom. that’s when the dam broke. you were so overwhelmed. you didn’t know how to make warm water happen in your shower, you didn’t have your wifi set up, and you forgot your favorite teddy bear at your moms. you missed teddy and your wifi and your mom.

“hey, i ordered you two egg rolls and they gave us three - hey, baby, are you crying?”

“no,” you replied lamely. “I miss teddy,” you wailed miserably.

“teddy...the...stuffed bear?” he asked.

“i slept with him every night for the past 20 something years.”

“baby...we can get your bear in the morning...,”

“we don’t have netflix set up so how am i supposed to sleep tonight?”

“y/n...,” he chuckled. you frowned harder now that he was laughing at you. “moving isn’t as exciting as it looks. tomorrow, we will fix the wifi, okay? and we can visit your mom and rescue teddy.”

“okay...okay. im sorry, im just a bit overwhelmed,” you confessed.

“its gonna be okay, honey. it’s a lot to take in, i know. but you can hold me instead of teddy, and ill sing you to sleep,” he whispered, the takeout now long forgotten. before you could fall asleep, he pulled his iphone out of his back pocket and pulled you into his chest to take a selfie. “there. now we have a picture of us in our bed for the first time.”

“i love you, you sap.”

even though you called him the sap, the next day you went to the pharmacy to get the photo printed and frame it. when jinyoung came home from the market that day, he eyed the frame on your bed stand, smirking at you.

“oh, so im the sap, hmm?”

youngjae; picking up the tab

it was the first date the two of you had been on since youngjae had been on tour. he told you to get dressed up and that the two of you would go out for a fancy dinner and catch up on everything. this is why you loved him, because while you wanted to hear all about his stories of life and tour abroad, he always wanted to hear about everything that was going at home, to see if you were alright.

youngjae looked dazzling in a black checked suit, while you matched him with a little black dress that made him groan when you stepped out of the bathroom. “can we skip dinner?” he’d ask cheekily. you rolled your eyes at him before kissing him on the cheek. “we aren’t skipping dinner, and we definitely won’t be skipping dessert,” you winked before leading him to the car.

the two of you ate dinner together, him holding your hand and looking at you with stars in his eyes as you told him stories that had happened while he was away. you ordered appetizers, drinks, shared an entrée, and youngjae even ordered you a slice of apple pie for the two of you to share.

“baby, I’m going to go use the restroom,” youngjae said before kissing your hand. “’kay, don’t get mugged, please,” you teased him. he shook his head at your playfulness. you watched as he left before frantically waving your arms at your waitress. she ran over to you, checking if you were alright.

“I just wanted to wonder if I can pick up the cheque really quick? I wanted to pick it up for my boyfriend as a surprise,” you spoke in a hushed tone, making the waitress giggle. she nodded her head before handing it to her. you handed her your credit card, thanking her before your boyfriend had any suspicions of what you were up to.

youngjae came out of the bathroom as soon as the waitress set the cheque down. you were applying your lipstick so you couldn’t snatch it in time. you watched as his pretty brown eyes scanned the receipt, looking confused as ever. “is this a joke? what kind of waitress lets the girlfriend pay?”

“jae,” you giggled. “you don’t always have to pay for dinner. I wanted to treat you…I missed you so much,” you confided, watching his expression from anger into warmth.

“oh, thank you honey, you are so sweet and thoughtful, I love you so much,” you let him wrap his suit jacket around your arms before planting a kiss to your forehead. “but that will be the last time you ever do that.”

“shut up, i like doing nice things for you,” you pouted.

“since you paid for dinner tonight, i have to put out, right?”

he ran to the car before you could slap him in the chest.

bam; his s/o borrowing his clothes

remember how joey never shared his food? well that’s how bam was with his wardrobe. he was very particular about his clothing, not letting people borrow them at all. yugyeom used to steal his clothes just to be petty and piss his best friend off. he had never let past partners borrow his clothes, and nothing was going to change, it wasn’t his fault, it was an obsession. if you were sure of one thing, it was to not steal your boyfriends clothes.

but one day, while he was gone from work, you thought you would take pictures of yourself in only one of his blazers to tease him.

you weren’t expecting him to walk through the door while you were trying to take self timer pictures of yourself.

“baby? what are you doing?” bam asked, laughing as you let out a squeal of surprise.

“i..i wanted to surprise you...,” he tsked, pulling away to look at his blazer. “i know you don’t like me wearing your things..,” you stammered as he circled you.

“you have such pretty things, though, bam,”

“you look so sexy in this,” he purred. “you were trying to get me worked up while im trying to work?”

“u...uhhh,” you couldn’t think coherently with you boyfriend acting so domineering. you gasped as he slid his hand up to your cunt, rubbing your clit in little circles. “bam...please...,” you groaned. 

“keep the blazer on,” he said as you writhed in his grip.

“its gonna get all sweaty though and then you’ll yell at me,” you teased him as you followed him to the bed. 

bam just groaned. “baby, im sorry I haven’t let you borrow my clothes before but you look better in them than me. now, let me fuck you and i promise you can have anything you want in that closet.”

he knew exactly how to shut you up.

yugyeom; his s/o buying him flowers

yugyeom was always so stressed during comeback season. you always scolded him when he forgot to eat, or wasn’t staying hydrated enough, but you were so proud of him. seeing the smile on his face and the way he walked a little taller was so worth it.

he was still busy during comeback season, coming home late after all the videos he had to shoot for publicity.

one night, yugyeom had gotten home around midnight to a bouquet of pink roses and a handwritten note from you. it read; “I am so proud of you, my love. congrats on breath… I can always feel your love,” he blushed and giggled to himself, thinking, “isn’t the guy supposed to buy the girlfriend the flowers?” he wandered into your shared bedroom to see you sprawled into his side, with your book in your hands, a soft snore leaving your lips. he nudged you, not intending to wake you up, he could thank you in the morning. but he did accidentally. “yeom?” you whispered. 

“shh, baby go back to sleep,” he shushed, changing into his pjs. 

“did you like the flowers?” you asked, suddenly awake now. 

“theyre really pretty, baby, but aren’t I supposed to buy you the flowers?” 

you narrowed your eyes at him. “not my boyfriend being a sexist,” 

“yah! y/n stop it, I didn’t mean it that way!! I love them, you remembered I said I love roses,” he was pouting now, pulling you into his chest to spoon you. his voice got quieter now. “no one’s ever remembered my favorite flowers…much less bought them for me,” he paused, kissing the back of your neck before closing his eyes and falling fast asleep.

he was whipped.

[namjoonswifey99]

What The Heart Wants Pt.6

Billy Hargrove X Reader

Warnings : Cursing , Bullying , Harassment , Billy being Billy 

Author Note: Hope You Enjoy This Chapter and I apologize this was supposed to be out but ive going though a rough patch with my family so i hope you understand.

Billy walked over to Y/N and Max; he couldn't help but overhear Susan talking to the police.

“ Sir please i just want my little girl I don't do anything else but her.” Susan says trying to calm her breathing from crying so much

“ Ma'am, your daughter stated she wants to go with her step brother and his girlfriend. We are gonna have to take you downtown for questioning. This isn't the first time Mrs.Hargrove.”  Officer Powell asked why detaining her.

Susan started to protest but saw that was Max was looking at her and stopped and held her head down and started walking with the officer.

“ I'm so sorry you guys had to see that, that wasn't what I was going for, I just wanted to get our stuff so we can move in.” Billy says looking sad he never wanted Max or Y/N to see that side again. Billy then looks towards Will who was just wide eyed.

“ Hey Will right i'm sorry you had to see that I truly didn't mean for you to see that.” Billy says with an apologetic look. Will looks up at Billy, surprised by the story Jonathan and Max told him.  He doesn't seem so bad hopefully they can be friends

“

“ It's okay Billy i understand”. Will says, accepting his apology. 

Y/N then runs up and pulls Billy into a hug and just embraces him Y/N was so proud of Billy he finally stood up against his father. “ im super proud of you baby” Y/N says kissing Billy’s cheek 

Hopper looked at the two teenagers and smiled. It was rare for guys like Billy. He's honestly happy that he has this chance to make his life right with the right people by his side. 

“ Come one let’s get some more stuff out the house and go to Y/N place” Billy says while getting his key from Y/N . “ Yessss so i can more stuff then i intended” Max says while shouting in excitement to bring more of her things. “ Well as long as it fits in the car we'll just get a truck to move it”. Billy says while correcting Max he doesn't want his car to be too crowded. “ You guys don’t need a bed or dressers. My parents got you guys covered with bedding just more clothes and stuff you can fit”. Y/N says while fixing the trunk to make room.

----- 1 Hour Later----

After an hour later they arrived at Y/N house. Her and Billy explained what happened at his fathers house . Y/N and Billy starts to explain what had happened down at his fathers house and how he was gonna move forward to have sole custody of Max and to be filed down as independent. 

“ That’s a very good plan Billy and you know you and Max can still for however long you like it’s no problem to us you were already family from the beginning” Y/N mother Angelina says while putting the cookies in the oven. 

“ I agree with my wife you can stay however long you like” Y/N father Tremaine says while putting the sodas in the freezer. 

“ we definitely appreciate the love and roof you're giving me and max I won’t let you down” Billy says while looking at them. 

“ You don’t have to prove anything baby, we love you just the way you are flaws and all “ Y/ N says as she looks at Billy with full love in the eyes.

“ BABY” Both of Y/N parents shouted at the same time. 

“ Ummmmm yea as of today me and Billy are together “Y/N says while looking down shyly. To shy look at her parents reaction. 

“ Ha I knew it Tre you owe me 40$ bucks” Angelina says happily she knew they was gonna get together 

“ Man you guys couldn’t wait till next week I could’ve had extra money” Tre says pulling out the 40 dollars to hand to his wife. 

“ You are not mad about us” Billy says confused because growing with a dad like his a relationship between him and Y/N would be frowned upon. 

“ never we don’t care as long as you live and respect our daughter that’s all that matters” Tremaine says to Billy while tenderly holding Angelina to him. 

Y/N was about to say something when the doorbell rang, she gets up to ask who it was when a familiar voice called out. 

“ Y/ N your favorite person in the whole wide world is here “ 

“ No I’m Y/N favorite you can ask her herself” 

“ No Y/N loves me more she makes me more food than any of you” 

“ Well Y/N be at my house almost every other day with my sister so I get to see her more than any of you” 

Y/N knew right there it was the rest of her miniature best friends. 

“ Well all you are wrong Y/N loves me more and I’m living with her” Max says with a smug look on her face as Y/N opens the door. 

On her porch stands Lucas , Dustin , Eleven, and Mike with Steve standing behind them. 

After Max’s statement chaos was issued.

“ What no way, no fair” Dustin whines in disbelief. 

“ Yea what Dustin said , How come max stays” Lucas says while looking offended. 

“ Well it’s easier for you doofus . She like me more” Max says sticking her tongue out at the boys. 

“ That means we can have all the sleepovers and waffles we want” Eleven says with a bright smile on her face. 

“ Okay now listen I love you all the same your all my favorites I can’t just choose one”. Y/N says trying to mediate the situation. 

“ What about me guys? I can be as cool as Y/N” Steve said with a cocky grin. 

The group just all stared at him. 

“ No offense Steve buddy but Y/N waaaaaaayyy more cooler than you by a landslide”. Mike says. 

Before Steve can retort, Billy comes to the door to see what’s taking so long and notices Steve and gives him an annoyed look. There’s one thing Billy is a lot of but he doesn’t put his hand on women. He may be an asshole and a bully but he’s no woman beater. 

Y/N felt the tension before Steve face gave it away.  Before a fight can escalate she steps in. 

“ Okay so I got 4 movies picked out then we can go to the bonus room and play some board games and before you even ask Dustin and Lucas yes I did make you guys favorite dessert”. Y/N says while ushering the kids inside the house. 

Before Steve can ask why Billy was there Y/N comes back out. 

“ Thanks for dropping the kids off for Hopper I’ll call him when it’s time to come get them, '' Y/N says with a kind smile. 

“ Uhh yeah no problem anytime” Steve says, stuttering, he wanted to apologize for his actions earlier but with Billy right there he’ll never get the chance. 

Y/N turns to leave when she notices Billy still staring down at Steve so she grabs him by the back of his shirt and pulls him in the house. 

The kids were all in the living room trying to decide which movie they’re gonna watch. 

“ Baby look at me” Y/N says, grabbing Billy’s face so he’s looking directly at her. 

“ baby you’ve changed for the better don’t let what today put you down you know I’m right here by your side every step of the way” Y/N says while looking him in the eye so he can see she really meant what she’s saying. 

“ I know baby it’s just I want them to know I’ve changed. I got my second chance at life and to do what is right and I couldn’t have done it with you my sweet angel by my side” Billy says lovingly to Y/N. 

The chemistry between Y/N and Billy is unmatched for the simple fact when it was him against the world Y/N was by his side and he will never take that for granted him and Y/N connection is way deeper than anybody can imagine. 

Y/N just continued to look at him with so much adoration in her eyes. 

“ Okay love birds we chose the movie we’re waiting on you guys now”. Max says with an eye roll. 

Y/N and Billy walked into the living room but not before Y/N leaned down and whispered in Max’s ear. 

“ don’t worry max I have a grand plan for Lucas”. Y/N says walking away with a small grin on her face. Leaving a blushing max in her wake. 

— 2 Hours Later —-

After the movie ended Y/N looked over at the clock and noticed it was 7:40. It looks like they only have time for one game before she has to call Hopper. 

“ So I have guys listen up, it's a little late so we have time for one more movie or game whatever you guys decide”. Y/N says while pulling out the games from the chest. 

After about 5 minutes they decided on watching another movie before they left. 

“ So Max I heard there’s this boy whose been crushing on you for a while” Y/N says teasingly. Y/N signaled for Max to play along if one thing Y/N knows about men is that they’re extremely possessive no matter what age. 

“ Yea and I like him back hopefully he asks me to the dance” Max says with a blush on her face. 

Y/N notices from the corner of her eye that Lucas is not taking what they said well which means her plan is going accordingly. 

“ if you need my help with getting him to ask you I’ll definitely do it” Y/N says eagerly. 

Before Max can let out her response Lucas stands up and takes her and says. 

“ Would you do me the honor of my date for the winter formal?” Lucas says while looking so nervous. 

 Max pretends to think about it which makes him start sweating. More than he already was. 

“ Yes doofus of course I’ll go with you” Max says with a smile. 

Y/N was happy for Max she got what she wanted but Billy on the other hand was not so ecstatic. Y/N looked over and saw Billy with a scowl on his face. 

“ what’s wrong”.Y/N asked. 

“ Don’t you think it’s to soon for them” Billy says with a pout on his face. 

“ Awwww his the big brother feeling protective” Y/N responds teasingly. 

Billy kisses his teeth at her statement. 

“ No” was Billys only response. 

“ awww baby it’s okay it just a school dance they’ll be fine” Y/N says while kissing his cheek. 

“……. Fine but I don’t like it”. Billy says to Y/N. 

Y/N laughs wholeheartedly. He was just so precious and cute when he’s worried. 

The kids looked over at them when they heard Y/N they looked at her like she was crazy but left it alone.She was alway like that with Billy.

“ Okay kids get your stuff ready I’m going to call Hopper”. Y/N says while getting up and grabbing the house phone. 

After a while Hopper picks up. 

“ Hey Hopper the kids are ready” 

“ Umm about that I’m stuck at work and I already called their parents to see if it was okay for them to stay” 

“ What did they say”

“ Well they wasn’t to keen on Billy living there but since they trust you they allowed them to stay” 

“Okay that’s great I do have extra clothes for them especially when they stayed here during the you-know-what.” 

“ That’s great do you also think you can drop them off at school or call somebody to help” 

“ No it’s okay I’ll ask my mom in the Morning to take the kids she’ll be happy to” 

“ Okay that’s great Y/N I’ll pick up Eleven after school so will the parents except Dustin he’s going with Steve” 

“ Geats I’ll let the kids and my parents know have a good night Hopper” 

“ You Y/N Bye”

“Bye” 

 Y/N hangs up and goes back to the living room to tell the kids. 

“ Okay guys put your stuff away your spending the night here and Billy and my mom will drop you off in the morning” Y/N says while getting the extra blankets and pillows out. 

“ Yesssss Y/ N you're officially the best ever”  Max says with excitement that her friends get to stay.  

“ Well I try my best but you should really thank Hopper. He's staying overtime at work,  so Max and Eleven are rooming in Max’s room , Boys you’ll be bunking with Billy”.  Y/N  says while taking them upstairs. 

“ Actually you guys can get my room. I'll bunk with Y/N just don’t touch any of my things”. Billy says while staring them down. 

“ Billy now my parents love you and all but they will literally kill us if they find us in bed together”. Y/N says wagging her finger in a no motion. 

“ We can leave the door open, I just want to spend time with you and cuddle” Billy says while wrapping his arms around her waist to bring her closer to him.

“ It stays wide open Billy im not playing with you” Y/N says while mugging him because she was not gonna die over this man even though she do love him her parents were a different story.

“ I understand baby i promise” Billy says while sealing their lips together in a nice passion lip lock.

[ofmatter]

{  MICHIEL HUISMAN | 40 | CIS MAN ﹜  welcome to san francisco, RHETT HAGEN! just to make sure, you go by HE/HIS, right? okay, great. i just have a few questions for you before i can let you go..  how long have you been here for? 35 YEARS. where are you currently living? PACIFIC HEIGHTS. what’s your current occupation? DJ at CAT CLUB but what’s your dream occupation? AUDIO ENGINEER FOR HOLLYWOOD FILMS. wow! interesting. is there a secret that we can keep between you and i? HE GOT DRUNKENLY MARRIED IN VEGAS IN HIS 20’S AND NEVER GOT IT ANNULLED. lastly, this is a bit of a random question but … what’s your favorite song? PSYCHO by METR & that’s all they wrote, friend! we can’t wait to see you around the golden city!

--- quick stats. ---

birth name: rhett hagen. nickname(s): none. age / d.o.b.: 40. may 8, 1982. gender, pronouns & sexuality: cis man, he/his, demiromantic heterosexual. hometown: amstelveen, noord holland, the netherlands. occupation: dj at cat club. education: bachelor’s degree in audio engineering. relationship status: married ... but single. children: none. positive traits: agreeable, confident, fun-loving, observant, passionate. negative traits: aloof, devious, extravagant, faithless, selfish. character comparisons: ferris bueller (ferris bueller's day off), richard castle (castle), donna meagle (parks and recreation), shawn spencer (psych), samanatha jones (sex and the city), lucifer morningstar (lucifer), frank abagnale (catch me if you can), jesper fahey (shadow and bone), rusty ryan (ocean's 11), neal caffrey (white collar)

--- quick tl;dr. ---

i. born in amstelveen, noord holland, the netherlands. his mom split and left him with just his father when he was about three, and it was a very stressful situation. most stories revolve around kids growing up with their single mom and a deadbeat dad that disappeared, rhett’s is the opposite. when his mother booked it, his father took up multiple jobs to keep them afloat. one such job took them to san francisco when rhett was five ---a big move, but his father was looking forward to leaving behind bitter memories. they packed up what was was worth taking and split to the west coast.

ii. it would be a lie to tell you that rhett was an exceptional child. his grades were always passing, but somewhere in the b to a minus range, possibly higher if he actually gave a damn. it took a long time for him to discover what he wanted to do ---his childhood was spent floundering through hobbies where none of them really stuck. sports were a joke, and the one time he tried surfing he got yanked half a mile away from shore in a riptide. (he finds the whole ordeal hilarious, honestly, but his father made him promise not to do it again, so he promised). the only thing that really ever stuck with him was his carefree attitude, and his ability to make a joke out if anything. aloof. when he graduated high school he was appointed class clown, and it followed him everywhere.

iii. somewhere around 17 he discovered his love for the technical side of music. he took an elective of music theory as a joke and completely fell in love with it. his father was ecstatic that something seemed to stick, and when college rolled around he took care of the first two years of a general liberal arts degree at a community college before transferring all of his credits to a university for audio engineering. his father had set aside enough money for him to pay out of pocket for the two year’s associates, but after that rhett took out student loans. (he’s mostly paid them off now, thanks).

iv. and he took after his father with the work ethic. college was met with working at least two jobs, three during the summers. money was sorted evenly to a saving’s account, bills, and immediate necessities. his father let him live in their house in outer sunset for the duration of college until rhett got his own place after. at first it was a dingy little studio but he graduated into his current home in pacific heights after some time. primarily he works as a dj for the cat club (and has for many, many years) but has taken many freelance jobs on the side engineering (mixing, mastering) for up-and-coming musicians. he’s even worked on the sound for some small-time indie films, which earned him the ability to have a nicer place. he’s always been frugal with his money, a smart spender.

v. ever the joker, he never quite grew up. somewhere in the middle of it all he forced himself to keep in touch with his inner child. while it might appear that he shirks adult responsibilities, the reality is that rhett keeps that side to himself, and very private. the largest case is taking care of his father ---he visits their outer sunset home (his father refuses to move, despite rhett offering multiple times) at least four times a week, if not every day. his father still insists on working ---you can catch him gardening at a local cemetery (he likes to make sure that the flowers for the deceased are nice and pretty) and offering a kind word to the mourning, or a nice chat to a jogger, if you know his schedule. rhett himself has that kind streak in him, but mischief takes over. he learned how to appreciate life from his father, and refuses to let any negativity sway him.

-- fun facts. --

i. is very much a cat person. he has a pet cat presently, alastair, that rules his house. to that end, he doesn’t like dogs, even so far as having a slight fear of larger dogs (though he’ll laugh it off as anything but that).

ii. has no memory of his mother, but really doesn’t think fondly of her at all. there’s no good reason to abandon your husband and child, and rhett thinks every lifetime movie that praises a mother as a lone hero is a joke. to that end - he’s fiercely protective of his father, who he understands and always saw as sacrificing part of himself to ensure his child had a good upbringing.

iii. god, he loves music. it’s why he dj’s, primarily. he likes a little of everything, and keeps an open mind. his set lists are primarily drum and bass, edm of many varieties, and synthwave but he like to mix some of everything in there. he hates country music. and while he can appreciate some of the modern pop stars, he also hates taylor swift. don’t ever try to convince him otherwise of anything else.

iv. he might appear as a slacker (he kind of is) or aloof (he really is) and uncaring (depends) ... but he’s actually very observant and quite intelligent ... especially when it comes to music. he loves the technical, mathematical and theoretical side of it. he loves to make his own synth sounds in his spare time, and he loves a good rave to get lost in the feeling of music. he thinks in music, hears in music, sees in music.

v. has never has a serious relationship, largely in part to seeing how broken his father was upon his mother leaving them. he knows his father had other girlfriends, but he kept them quiet and never paraded them around the house, and now as an elderly man his father is happily alone. rhett is afraid to open himself up to someone, to ultimately be left alone ... so he never gives anyone the chance.

[capriccio-con-espressione]

plz i have a sudden urge to corrupt jaemin 🤤🤤 ive never really thought about him and i think he’d look so good fucked - 💿

Nah plz I don’t know why but honestly I can’t sense any innocent vibes from Jaemin so sorry I can’t really corrupt him because all I know about him is his high painslut level. I personally think he’d be a great dirty-talker, may be initially doubtful about pegging, but when you’re doing wonders to his body, he would melt into a self-degrading mess and would beg you to use him for good, his questions about it long gone and you can taunt him to no end for that. Down below is my little drabble of this scenario:

  “You sure you wanna do this?” Jaemin’s brows furrow sarcastically. “You sure you can fuck me as good as I do-ah!” His question is cut short by a slap across his bare ass, leaving a smirk of enjoyment on his face as he rubbed the spanked flesh, eyes gazing darkly at your strap.

  “Of course I’d want to do this, and maybe enjoy this a little bit too much…” You condescendingly grinned while slapping his ass once again, earning a rather content yelp from him. “Wait until you getting fucked into a moaning senseless puddle and we’ll see...remember last time you taunted me into whipping you, and you end up thanking me to no end and enjoyed it perhaps a little bit too much?”

  “Hmm really?” Jaemin pouts, in an annoying attempt to feign innocence. “You sure I can take that big girthy thingy?” He licks his lips at your strap.

  “Of course you can, now just lie down and be a good boy and let me help you get ready for it…tell me when I reach your sweet spot.” You motion your boy to lie down, before placing one lubed finger into his lubricated entrance, exploring him with different angles.

  “Ohhhhhh…” Jaemin lets out a whimper at your thrusting finger, processing the still novel feeling to him. “You’re fucking me so deep-ahh right there!” He moans and jerks his whole body at the sudden electric sensation when you aim at the right spot.

  You simper at the new information, as you stretch him open with two fingers, then three fingers, every movement directing at the bull’s eye as Jaemin writhes and wantonly moans in euphoric bliss.

  “Now you like that, huh?” You inquire devilishly as you land a whack on his ass, spiking his senses again, before intruding him with your strap.

  Now Jaemin's body is shuddering violently against your merciless thrusts, hips swaying left and right attempting to maximize the already overwhelming sensation. His lips quirk up to form a gorgeous ecstatic arc, offering a new raunchy side of him that you've never seen before, as the few only things on his mind now are to indulge in the orgasmic bliss as well as look and sound pretty for you, in hopes of being rewarded with even intensified pleasure.

You noticed his lust-filled smile as well as his legs, shifting in all places in search of the correct position to heighten the stimuli since it was his very first time getting fucked like this.

  "Let me help you…" You smirk as you prop his legs up your shoulders as you allow yourself to have deeper access of your fucktoy. "Better hold onto me tight when I fuck you to cloud nine you insatiable slut…"

  Jaemin whimpers at the new feeling on his prostate as he finds himself driven over the edge even more. Normally bottoms will be reduced to an incoherently moaning and cursing mess under intense rapture like this, but as for your originally doubtful boy, his innate ability to sweet talk turns into self-degrading words as he sinks into his subspace even more.

  "Ah...aaahhhhh... Mistress please destroy my slutty tight fuckhole so I can't act up and whore up ever again hmmm pretty please…" Jaemin moans out between your vehement thrusts.

  “Says someone who was doubtful whether pegging is going to feel good or not…” You smirked.

  "S-split me in half with your mighty magical cock please Mistress hnnnn your pathetic little sex doll wants to be wrecked his brains out oohhh…"

  “My personal sex doll huh? Aren’t you the one that dared to challenge my capability to fuck you huh pretty slut?”

  "Hnngh I’m sorry...Mistress please use your cockslut so hard that I forget who I am because I am just a brainless pretty airhead who knows nothing but to be fucked mmmffff…"

  In response to Jaemin's filthy pleads, you speed up, the thought of wishing your cock can turn into a ruthless piston turn you on even more as you unleash all your frustrations on him until he's seeing stars, your title rattling off his tongue shamelessly as he cums blissfully.

After he finally recovers from the immensity, you're already done with clean-up, laying close beside him as you play with his strands. He cutely pouts, up for something to disturb the peace.

  "Mmmm Mistress it's all your fault~I don't think I'll be able to walk properly tomorrow hnngh"

  "Says someone who just literally begged me to destroy him. Still doubting what I can do huh?" You roll your eyes in amusement.

  “No I didn’t mean that…” After that weak defense, Jaemin still complains and whines on and on about how sore he is, but every single word of it underlies praises on how good your stamina is and you have to admit, it boosts your ego so much.

  "...You know, my life will be very incomplete without you…" His expressions suddenly turn serious from all the salacious sex talk before.

  "...Just like my slutty ass will be so empty without your massive dick!" He will be grinning triumphantly, seeing that you have been tricked into thinking he was going to make some sincere wholesome confession. 

  "You are impertinent." You facepalmed, but is secretly very delighted deep down.

  Jaemin giggles at your reaction and snuggle up even closer to you, as you two entangle like an adorable cocoon before relishing the post-passion bliss in your dreams.

  “We should do this often, Mistress.”

[harrytpotter]

RIGHT PLACE, WRONG TIME — Part IV

Plot: Y/N finds herself trapped in a time in which she doesn’t belong only to learn that maybe that was her place all along.

Pairing: James Potter x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Slightly sexual scene with mild cursing.

A/N: Gif isn’t mine (took it from google, so please, if it belongs to you let me know so I can credit) and since my mother language isn’t English, I apologize for any mistakes in advance! :)

As the weeks went by and you still haven’t heard back from Dumbledore, you did your best to avoid James. You hardly even saw him and when you did, you barely spoke two words with him. You knew he had asked Lily why you were shutting him down because she told you and did ask that herself. You couldn’t exactly explain the reason why it was better for everyone and why it was the right thing to do, so you started shutting her and all of your friends down as well. Not as hard and as completely as you did with James, though. You were growing more miserable and lonely every day, wishing you could just go back to the future time where life was way more gentle and kind at you. It was the fourth night in a row that you had purposely skipped dinner to avoid seeing James. You were at Hagrid’s cabin, paying a visit to your dear friend and trying to cheer yourself up a bit.

“Yeh sure yeh don’ wanna eat anythin’, uh Y/N?!” Hagrid offers you a plate full of homemade cookies.

“I’m still stuffed from lunch, but thanks Hagrid!” You politely decline his offer, a warm smile on your face. Hagrid excelled in many things, but cooking wasn’t one of them.

“Alright, then! So yeh gonna tell me why yeh look so bummed?” He shoots a concerned glare at you.

“Just stressed out with school stuff, no biggie,” you smile reassuringly at him.

“James was just here the other day an’ he didn’ look quite alright ‘imself as well,” he shrugs.

“School is particularly hard this year I suppose,” you frown, getting up. “I should probably go, it’s getting quite late. See you, Hagrid!” You hug him goodbye.

Despite clearly having more to say about the previous subject, he hugs you back, leaving you breathless for a while given the strength he put into it. “Take care, Y/N!”

On your way back to the castle, you decide to make a little detour to the kitchen so you could help yourself of some leftovers from dinner.

“You’re one hard woman to track, love,” James’ voice startled you in the middle of a pitch-dark hallway.

“Merlin’s beard, James! Do you always have to sneak up on me like that?!” You whisper, taking your hand to your pounding heart.

The moonlight suddenly flooded through the windows, as the moon came out from behind a particularly massive cloud, and you saw a piece of paper clutched on James’ hand.

“I thought you had swore you’d never use that to keep tabs on me,” you point at the marauder’s map with your head.

James sighs heavily. “I know, but that was before you shut me down completely out of your life for no good reason. You’ve been even distancing yourself from Lily, Marlene, Sirius, Remus, everyone, Y/N! I’m worried about you. We all are. What’s going on with you, babe?” He cupped your face with his free hand and stared worryingly into your eyes, frowning. You could tell his mind was racing, trying to figure out what could possibly had happened to you.

You look away from his gaze and close your eyes, trying to come up with an excuse. Despite the little moment you two had shared in the astronomy tower, none of you had exactly being vocal about your feelings.

“You know what? We should make a trip to the kitchen and steal some chocolate pudding, what do you think? I bet some sugar in your system will make everything better!” He smiled brightly at you, starting a warm wave inside your chest.

“I believe it’s worth a try,” you smile sweetly back at him, unable to turn his puppy eyes down and doing your best to ignore the annoying butterflies in your stomach. You see, that’s the problem of finally admitting your feelings to yourself after keeping them hidden for so long: despite your best efforts to brush them off and hide them again, your body keeps giving you constant and awfully vivid reminders that they’re there.

***

The house-elves were happy to give you some snacks and sweets as the two of you entered the kitchen. You and James sat next to each other on the big island that laid in the middle of the room, eating, joking and throwing food at each other. Just like old times. The two of you didn’t leave the kitchen until you were both feeling stuffed.

Heading back to the Gryffindor tower, you were giggling at something James had said when you both heard footsteps nearby. Realizing he had left his invisibility cloak back in his dorm, James quickly pulled you to a very dark and hidden spot in the nearest corner of the hallway, behind an armor and beside a large shelf. Amidst the rush of having to improvise, he ended up with his both hands on your waist and his face almost glued to yours, since the space was limited and neither of you could move. His breath was uneven, just like yours, as he stared at your lips with a longing look on his eyes. Without thinking, he crashed his lips into yours, beginning a fueled, passionate kiss. You were immediately sent at a state of pure euphoria, all of your senses intensely and solely focused on this moment. Every inch of your body felt ecstatic, as if it had been waiting for this to happen for your entire life. As the boy deepened the kiss with a burning roughness you were already out of your mind, intoxicated by the feeling of having him touching you, kissing you. James slid one of his hands to your thigh and squeezed it slightly whilst taking his lips to your neck, leaving a trail of kisses, light bites and soft hickeys.

“Fuck, Jamie...” you suck the air between your teeth trying to suppress a moan, for James’ amusement. You could feel the satisfied grin he gave whilst his lips still sucked the skin of your neck, this time a little harder than before.

“Do you want me to stop?” He asks you mischievously, even though he already knew your answer.

“Don’t you dare to!” You shot desperately at him and pulled him closer, tangling your hand in his hair and pulling it roughly. You heard him gasp in surprise and pleasure and you bit your lower lip satisfied.

You honestly didn’t know what would’ve happened if it wasn’t for Filch’s interruption. “I know there are students out of bed! I heard giggles! And I bet it’s Potter, Black and Lupin!” He exclaims, breaking you and James out of your desire-driven trance. You quickly took James’ hands from your body and recomposed yourself.

“Argus, please, we’ve been looking around this hallway for the past fifteen minutes and didn’t find anyone! Just go to bed for Merlin’s sake!” You heard the annoyed voice of a sleepy Minerva McGonagall.

You and James stayed behind the armor for a little while after the two of you had heard their voices fading away, just in case.

“So, I think we need to talk about what just happened,” he says with a wide smirk, scratching his head.

“Nothing happened,” you’re quickly to point out. The guilty was eating you alive as you thought about Harry and Lily.

“Oh, but it would’ve, love. It really would,” he shoots you a cocky grin.

“Look, Jamie...” you start, lowering your head as you were unable to look him in the eyes. “That can never happen again, okay? Never.”

“Come on, love...” he says, getting closer to you and holding your chin gently between two fingers, lifting it so you could look at him. “You can’t deny that something is going on between you and I. And it has been for quite some time now,” he says tenderly, leaning in slowly.

You frown sadly and turn your head away, holding back the tears of hopelessness that were starting to form in your eyes. “What’s wrong, love? Don’t be afraid,” he cups your face with both of his hands, leading your gaze back at him.

Seeing the hopeful look he had in his eyes nearly broke you for good. “I can’t do this, Jamie...” you whisper weakly, not even remotely resembling the strong and fiery girl you’re known to be.

“Why not? Look, if that’s because of Lily, you have nothing to worry about. I never really liked her and I know you know that. In the beginning I was motivated by the challenge and a bet Sirius and I had made, of course, but then... about two years ago I realized who my heart had really chosen. I did nothing because I was too much of a coward, I’m afraid,” he states.

The tears were now rolling furiously down your face, despite your best efforts to control them. “James, please stop talking.”

“I need you to hear me, love. Just listen to me, would ya? Please,” he smiles nervously at you.

“You’re not making any sense, for Merlin’s sake! You belong with Lily, that’s how it’s supposed to be! You’ll fall in love, start dating, get married and have a kid!” You frown hopelessly.

“Y/N, did you hear what I just say? I can’t be with someone I don’t love! And I know you’re not saying that for Lily’s sake because she doesn’t fancy me either!”

“You wouldn’t understand, but believe me when I tell you this, Lily is your soulmate! Besides, I’m seeing someone,” you didn’t wanna lie to him nor hurt him like that, but you had to take his mind off of this somehow.

His face dropped as he let go of you. “Oh... That makes sense. You don’t want anything to do with me because you’re already in love with somebody else. I don’t blame you, I knew you wouldn’t wait around forever for me to man up,” James shrugged. “But you could’ve just saved your best mate here the embarrassment by mentioning it earlier, couldn’t you love?” He grins sadly, putting his hands at his pockets, and turned around, leaving you alone with an aching heart in the middle of the dark.

***

It had been a week since your little episode with James and now he was the one avoiding you. You knew you should clear the air with him, but you thought you could use this time to get your head straight and focus on what you really needed: finding a way out of this pace of time. Despite the fact that you were making things right with Lily and Marlene, your friendship with the marauders was going downhill. Sirius and Remus barely speak to you anymore since they were always by James’ side and you did break their friend’s heart. You sigh whilst looking yourself in the mirror after getting ready for your classes: you were the perfect depiction of misery. Heading down the stairs to begin your day, your feet suddenly stop when you hear a familiar voice coming from the common room. You didn’t mean to eavesdrop but you couldn’t face them right now.

“Come on, Prongs. Lighten up a bit, would you?” Sirius’ voice sounded concerned.

“I am very good Pads, can’t you see?” James answers him bitterly.

“I think you should talk to Y/N again, tell her how you really feel. You should try to work this out with her, mate,” Remus advises.

“I’ve already tried that, Moony! She didn’t care!”

“From what you’ve told us, you just reassured her that you don’t have any feelings for Lily. Have you tried telling her exactly how you feel about her?” Remus asks wisely.

“What good could it possibly make? She‘s already in love with someone that’s not me,” James sighs.

“I find it hard to believe,” Sirius states. “It’s just so obvious that she has feelings for you, I don’t know how your blind, stubborn self can’t see it! Plus, we’re her best friends and she never even once mentioned some guy she fancied to us.”

“That’s not the kind of thing a girl discusses with her male friends, Padfoot,” Remus says as if it was obvious. You imagined him rolling his eyes at your friend at the end of that sentence.

“No, but she would’ve mentioned it to Lily and Marlene...” James says with a realization tone.

“What are you waiting for? Go ask them then and find out who’s your competition!” Sirius exclaims vigorously. “That, of course, assuming that he’s real and Y/N isn’t making it up just so she can get herself rid of you.”

“I thought you said she had obvious feelings for me a while ago,” James says nervously.

“Don’t mind him, Prongs. He’s messing with you. Just go find Lily,” Remus says and you can hear the three of them exiting the room through the portrait hole.

“Bloody hell!” You curse at yourself, knowing very well that Lily would cover for you, much for her dismay, but you’d need to come up with a plan soon because James wouldn’t be fooled by that forever.

You wandered through the castle’s hallways with your mind racing, deciding to skip breakfast so you could think about your current situation. That seemed to be all you were doing lately. In fact, all you really wanted to do was scream in frustration and punch someone in the face. It was beyond unfair having to choose between a kind of an all-consuming feeling that happened once in a lifetime and the sake of your friends and their future as individuals and as a group. Being here was becoming heavier and heavier each day that went by. How much longer will you be able to resist James and deny your feelings? How much longer will you have to torture yourself? What if Dumbledore couldn’t fix whatever caused the time-turner to malfunction? What if you were bound to be trapped here for good? All of a sudden you felt sick to your stomach as a last and despairing thought crossed your mind: what if you had to witness James and Lily fall in love with each other? You felt like throwing up, so lost in your own distresses that you only noticed you had stumbled upon someone when you were both on the floor.

“Merlin’s beard, I’m so sorry!” You say whilst getting up.

“I think you forgot your head back in the tower, L/N,” Amos Diggory joked, sitting.

“I suppose I did,” you smile sheepishly at him, offering your hand to help him stand on his feet. “Again, I’m really sorry. You okay?”

“I’m fine, don’t worry,” he winks casually at you. “You don’t seem quite alright yourself on the other hand,” he adds, noticing the worried frown on your face.

“Oh, about that, I...” you start, stopping suddenly when you noticed James standing at the opposite end of the aisle, frowning at the sight of you and Diggory alone in an empty corridor, your hands still in the Hufflepuff’s. “Please just go with it, I’ll explain everything in a minute,” you whisper to Amos, as you grin widely whilst staring into his eyes and resting your wrists on the back of his neck, pretending you hadn’t seen the marauders glancing at your direction.

“Alright, I think I can carry on with whatever this is, but I have to say I’m genuinely intrigued,” he lifts a brow at you, grinning and leading his hands to your waist.

Before you could say anything else, James passes by the two of you like a hurricane, Sirius and Remus on his trail. You swore you could catch a disappointed look from Remus as they followed their friend.

“Potter seems to be in a bad mood today, doesn’t he?” Amos drags your attention back to him and you’re met by a suspicious look on his face. “I’m willing to bet you know why.”

“I really am sorry, I didn’t mean to suck you into my personal drama, I just... I don’t even know what to say,” you lean against the wall, sighing heavily.

“Try me, L/N. I’m a pretty good listener if you ask me,” he shrugs, leaning next to you. “Besides, you can trust me not to spill your secrets around,” he winks at you.

“I know you’re trustworthy, Diggory,” you smile at the thought of how much he reminded you of your late friend Cedric Diggory, who also happened to be his son. “You’re a Hufflepuff.”

He laughs genuinely at your joke. “Bring it on then, L/N.”

“Alright,” you sigh. “So, I don’t know if you can tell, but I kind of have feelings for James...”

“Yeah, I might have noticed that. And so did the entire school,” he bumps his shoulder into yours. “But go on.”

“I thought you had said you were a pretty good listener?” You raise your brows, crossing your arms in your chest.

“Sorry, please, continue,” he encourages you.

“Anyway, I do have feelings for him but I can’t act on them for a number of reasons that I can’t really talk about,” you close your eyes, resting your head on the cold wall. It felt good to take it off your chest for once, and opening up about this felt liberating.

Diggory stared at you confused. “Pardon me if I’m intruding, but I’d say your chances with the guy are pretty good. I mean, it’s quite clear that your feelings are reciprocated. For example, that day during quidditch practice when he saw the two of us talking... he did look pretty annoyed to me and today, well, you just saw what happened,” he shrugged.

“I know that he harbors feelings for me as well, and that’s the point. He can’t. We can’t have feelings for each other. I’m not his destiny and neither he is mine,” you tilt your head to your right a little so you could look at Amos.

“How can you possibly say that? We never know what tomorrow has in storage for us,” he states.

“Except that I do, and that’s exactly why I can’t encourage his feelings nor my own,” you sigh hopelessly.

“I suppose that’s the part you can’t discuss?” He smiles sympathetic at you.

“Exactly,” you frown sadly.

“How can I help you?” He asks suddenly. “Well I suppose that’s why you flirted with me a while ago, right?! You don’t strike me as the kind of girl who’d randomly throw her arms around a guy’s neck in empty hallways. Specially having told the guy in question that she has feelings for another one moments later,” he adds mockingly after seeing the confused expression on your face.

“Right,” you frown sheepishly. “I kinda told James a few days back that I was already seeing someone, right after he kissed me.”

“Wow, harsh,” he frowns playfully.

“Yeah, I know. I just didn’t know what else to do, I sort of panicked,” you shrug.

“You can count on me. But before I leave to class, I just need to ask you something. Is this secret motivation of yours really worth the trouble of sacrificing a potential relationship and a few friendships over? Think about it, L/N. See you in transfiguration in a few,” he says before disappearing into the castle, leaving you alone with your thoughts.

——————————

Taglist: @treestarrrrrrrr @fanfic-enthusiast-collector

[randombubblegum]

hey sydney! i'm looking into teaching english in japan after i finish my degree in a year or so and i was wondering how tricky you think it is to live in japan if you don't speak or read japanese? i know that obvs you do speak japanese but do you think its doable to live there with only a beginner level of japanese / learn while im there? thank uuuu

hmmm it really depends!!!! i have friends here who came as english teachers knowing no japanese and picked up a ton of it and are doing great now and are super fluent actually!!!!! and i also know ppl who came as english teachers who learned no japanese in 5+ years and cant rly do anything for themselves and need to bring along a japanese speaking friend to go to the bank lol. you definitely CAN do it but its gonna depend on 1. how motivated you are to actually learn 2. how much aptitude you have naturally for picking up languages!!!!!! if one or both is high i think youll be ok :) i know some teaching programs like JET basically hold ur hand so u dont need any japanese at all really and ull still be fine. others apparently dont so consider that too :(

another thing is japan is really not great as a country at accommodating english speakers, like i think a lot of europe is for example. if ur in tokyo ull probably be fine but if ur outside of a major city the onus will be on u to find a way to communicate in japanese. but!!! japanese ppl are super nice about that and will be ECSTATIC that ur even trying!!!! theyll meet u way more than halfway so ull never have to worry about embarrassing urself while ur still learning; ull get constant positive feedback from basically everyone :,) its cute!!!

ive never been a teacher so i cant comment on how work life will be without japanese ability, but the companies that hire u def dont expect u to know any when u arrive so im sure its ok? and ive also never lived in japan without some command of the language so i can only go off of my observations and things friends have told me about their experiences. but honestly my opinion is: do it!!!! yeah youll be uncomfortable sometimes, yeah youll struggle and feel embarrassed if you mess up, but hey you get to live in japan!!!! and what better place to be forced to get good at japanese rly fast??? LOL but if u can fit even a single japanese class into ur schedule before u graduate doooo itttt. having even basic hiragana command will help u so much when u have to read signs and station names and stuff

[writetorace]

Love is a War – Chapter 1 Peter Parker x Pregnant!Stark Reader

Summary: you’re pregnant and you need to tell your family and Peter.

Warnings: violence, injuries, swearing, snap does not happen

Iron girl is what they called you, Tony Starks' daughter. When you joined the team when you were 15, the world learnt who you were by name only, never your face. Your father had given you a new suit every year for your birthday from when you turned 13. He gave it to you for fun, not wanting you to go out and fight with it. If he even suspected that you were using it to fight, he took it away from you. Joining the team changed that you developed further relationships with people who you lived with.

The compound was split onto levels. Your father and Pepper had the penthouse, which you shared with them until you turned 16 and demanded your own floor. Steve, Bucky and Sam had the floor closest to the gym, they spent a majority of their time in that place, most of the time together, their army days making them close. Nat and Wanda shared another floor, they had wanted you to join their floor, claiming that girls should always stick together. Bruce occupied the space next to the labs, always wanting to be close to his work. He shared his space with Thor when he came to visit, but it was a rare occasion. Clint sometimes came to visit but lived with his family, keeping them away from danger.

Peter had been assigned a room in the penthouse, Tony's orders, however after you two had been dating for over two years and after you, both turned 18, he was allowed to move onto your floor. His room was to be separate from yours for your father's peace of mind, but that didn't stop you only sleeping in one of the two rooms every night. Even when you were sick.

You honestly thought you were dying. Everyone else in the compound believed that you had the flu. Your father Tony had wanted you to stay in the med bay just so that someone was keeping an eye on you at all times of the day. He also wanted you there so that he could run tests to make sure that you just had the flu and nothing else. He tried to coax you into the med bay, but you knew better. His tricks didn't fool you, the only way to get him off of your back was to have Bruce give you IV fluids. He didn't want you to dehydrate. Until you got better, you were also banned from being Iron Girl.

Peter was by your side the entire time. When he wasn't working at the internship, he was by your side, comforting you. Being enhanced by the spider bite when he was younger meant that he was immune to most if not all illnesses. His worry grew for you when you weren't getting any better. He tried to get you to go get tests done at the med bay as well, but even he couldn't charm you.

Then your symptoms started to change slightly, you were still throwing up, and certain smells set you off. When Wanda was cooking chicken one night, you couldn't help but excuse yourself to empty your stomach once again. Peter hot on your tail, like he always was to hold your hair back. Some days you spent all day in bed resting, doing the simplest of things tired you out. Peter would always cuddle you in bed when he came back, only wanting you to get better.

Once you had dropped off to sleep, he decided to do some research into your symptoms and to what it could possibly be that was making you this sick. There were a few possibilities as to what could be wrong with you, but the one that stuck out the most to him was pregnant. He couldn't get the idea of children out of his head. The thought of a mini you or him running around, having the other avengers wrapped around its fingers.

"Baby, do you know why you are getting so sick?" Peter asked one morning after you returned to bed.

"I don't know Petey. Maybe I should go down to the med bay, I hate feeling like this." Your eyes were tearing up at the fact that you didn't know what was wrong with you. Feeling absolutely useless, you crawled into Peters lap, wrapping your arms around his neck.

Peter pulled away from you, his eyes meeting yours, "have you ever thought that you could be pregnant?" The idea was preposterous, there was no way that you could be pregnant. The both of you were careful, not wanting to end up in that position.

Shaking your head, you were certain. "I think I would know Pete. I think I would know my own body."

"Why don't you just take a test (y/n). Just to be on the safe side. I don't mind going to buy it, I'll make sure to go to the next city. I'll pay by cash as well, then it can't be traced back to us. Don't worry, I have this." He was so kind and helpful, thinking of things that even you wouldn't have thought of.

When Peter bought the test, he snuck into an alleyway just so that he could hide the test up his jumper. There were cameras in every room of the compound except for the bathrooms. On his arrival to your shared floor, he headed straight for the bathroom so that he could put the test in there for you to take.

Slowly making your way into the bathroom, Peter couldn't help but smile at you. He wanted to be by your side through it all. "Pete, turn around. I'm not having you watch me pee."

With a pout on his face, he reluctantly turned around. When he heard the sound of the toilet flush, and your trousers being pulled back up, he turned to face you again. "The box says we have to wait two minutes. Humming you couldn't help but think how long those two minutes would feel, and they did feel long. When the timer on your phone went off, you held your breath as you looked at the test in front of you.

Pregnant.

The one word that changed everything. Your body was growing a tiny human. Showing it to Peter, he clutched at you laughing not quite believing the word on the test. Was this a dream, a nightmare, or reality? Placing a hand on your stomach, your emotions were all over the place. You were ecstatic that you were having a baby with the man in front of you, but you were both still only 19, were you ready for this?

It was weighing on your mind a lot, only Peter knew, and you were going crazy. Someone else had to know, you couldn't keep it a secret forever. There was only one person you could turn to, one person immune to your father's charms, one person who could lie to him. Pepper.

After talking to Peter about it, he agreed that talking to Pepper was a good idea. She would know where to go for an ultrasound scan, that would keep it a secret. You had asked Pepper to come to your floor for lunch, it would be easier to tell her there as there would be no interruptions. Sitting across from her you asked F.R.I.D.A.Y. to turn off the mics to your floor, telling the A.I. that you were discussing a present for Tony.

When the words left your mouth that you were pregnant you broke down. The emotions you had let build up finally erupted. Pepper was by your side in an instant arms around your shoulders, rocking you until you stopped crying. "Does Peter know?" All she wanted to do was keep you safe, her daughter growing up too quickly for her liking.

You nodded your head, "I know I need to tell dad, but I just don't know how." You were now grasping onto her arms that were around you.

"We can tell him together hun. I'm by your side no matter what you want." Pepper was always the mother figure in your life, always the person you went to when you had a problem, she was always there for you.

Discussing the scan made you nervous, you would have to go to a different city to have it. Somewhere where you or your family weren't as well known. When Pepper told you that the med bay could do it, you were scared. They would no doubt tell your father and then it wouldn't be your secret. When she told you that they had to abide by patient confidentiality due to your age, you couldn't be happier.

Calling Pete you told him the news, Pepper had booked you into the med bay for that night, a time of day when it would be quietest. She wanted to go with you, but your father would be suspicious if she didn't attend dinner with a client. Pete came back early from work, wanting to spend some time with you before your scan, in your little bubble of two, before it became your bubble of three.

Nerves ran through you as you attended the med bay for your scan. It would be the first time you would see the little one growing inside of you. Peter held your hand throughout and even shed a tear when the sonographer showed the screen of your baby. It was real now, your baby.

You decided to tell the team in the morning, you would tell your father at the same time, hoping his reaction would cause minimal damage. You were about to tell him about the one thing he was worried about happening. Right now, it was just you in your bubble of Peter and the baby.

Waking up, you almost couldn't go through with it, but with Peter, by your side, you could face anything. You had asked F.R.I.D.A.Y. to get everyone in the common room so that you could tell them all the news together, it was a non-negotiable meeting. "What's wrong? Why have you got everyone here first thing on a Saturday morning?" Bucky grumbled. He was never one for mornings, always consuming an unhealthy amount of caffeine if he had to be up before midday.

"We have some news, and we wanted to tell you all together." Peters' strong voice surprised everyone, including you. He was always shying away from the team when it came to speaking publicly in front of them.

You took the responsibility out of his hands and just came out with it, "I'm pregnant. We're having a baby." Shock covered everyone's faces, they couldn't believe that the two youngest members of the team were going to have a baby.

One by one, the team all came to hug the both of you, congratulating you. All except your father. His face was stoic as he stood leaning against the wall one hand resting on his chin as he thought hard. "Are you sure you are pregnant? That this isn't some kind of prank that the two of you are pulling on me." He refused to believe it until he saw for himself.

When you pulled the photo of your unborn baby from your pocket and gave it to him, he cried, pulling in for a hug. "My little girl is having a baby. Is this why you have been sick? Until that baby is born no more missions for you, no getting into the suit and certainly no training for you. We need to keep my grandchild safe."

The domesticity in the room was not what anyone would have expected, everyone pulled into different conversations about the baby and how it would fit into the dynamic of the team. They all wanted to be involved. Bruce couldn't help his thoughts from wandering, thinking about the genetics that this baby might have. The brains that were established in both you and Peter. He pulled Tony into the corridor to discuss what was plaguing his mind, hoping that he could offer some reassurances.

"Have you ever thought about the biological capabilities of this child? We need to run tests, there is a possibility that the D.N.A. sequence could match yours with the spider gene." Your father turned to Peter when entering the room. "This can change everything. If this information fell into the wrong hands, it could be detrimental to you all, especially that baby. If our enemies found out, then they could take the baby and possibly replicate it, but in the process, it would kill the baby."

Everyone's faces visibly paled at the words your father just spoke. Turning to Bruce, you wanted his opinion, he was the one who had all the degrees. He just nodded his head, your baby could be a target. Sitting down tears ran tracks along with your features. Peter couldn't believe it either, he had been so happy about it to only find it could be fatal, it could lead to even your death.

Steve then decided to speak up "It is just a possibility at the moment."

[hyunjinspark]

OH. MY. GOD. JADE THAT WAS AMAZING???? HELLO????? im in awe once again at how eloquently you write every single detail 🥲

not gonna lie, in the very beginning i was already SOBBING, idk why but i just felt so bad for y/n :( ive never been heartbroken like that before, i mean ive never even been in love tbh, but you were able to describe her heartbreak so PAINFULLY well that I felt it 😭

i will say tho, the second hyunjin came and they started talking i wanted to bash my head against the wall 🤩🤩 their conversation was so counterproductive and frustrating like PUHLEASE REWORD WHAT YOURE SAYING SO THE OTHER PERSON DOESNT MISUNDERSTAND,,,,, AGAIN. the tears came back the second yeji arrived to pick her up and hyunjin left ;-;

im no dance major nor have i taken any official classes but im in the kpop dance club in my school and also was picked to be in one of the performance groups so when y/n was talking to wooyoung about her struggles,,,,,,,,, sis same. i just auditioned for another event yesterday but uGH no matter how many times people say im good i can only think im my head “oh wow they think i suck but are just saying that to make me feel better okay thats fine fair enough” 🥲 the struggle of trying to create the vibe certain dances are supposed to give by mimicking the expressions and subtle details of the dancer is so frustrating too 😭😭😭 this part hit close to home all im gonna say 😩😔

it felt like a rush seeing so many different characters together in one chapter, but i liked it a lot and all their little interactions were enough to really show the different dynamics of each friendship; it also made me fully realize how connected their friend groups actually are like YIKES bestie 😬 in the beginning of the scene at changbins house ngl i was like “okay great, this is the one place where y/n can just vibe with people and not be broken!” and then hyunjin fr pulled up like🧍🏻

however, when y/n left the den and then a bit later hyunjin did too i had so much hope that maybe he’d come in and hear her and wooyoung talking about how she really feels and then boom 🤯 “holy shit she doesnt hate me and feels the same way” but im not gonna lie im SO HAPPY it was jisung that finally spilled the beans to hyunjin, especially cause he knew how much hyunjin affected her in high school

the necklace!! the daisy!! FINALLY!! i feel like if hyunjin told her the meaning of the necklace itd still be meaningful but i think the fact that their old teacher did instead was better, cause obviously he didnt think it was EXTREMELY as significant as much anymore but the teacher had seen from an outside perspective how much it meant to him when he needed to perform

when y/n went into hyunjins secret room (room 325 nonetheless like stop youre making my heart hurt 😭😭) at first i hoped he would be in there in his element or something but once again the way you wrote it is actually SO MUCH BETTER because she was given the opportunity to actually take everything in and think about how much time and emotion hyunjin had been putting into his work! the fact that their conversation on the balcony was brought back too 😩😩 i felt like it would but i didnt really know how and oh my god 🥺 i love them

AND FUCKING FINALLY!!!! THEY ACTUALLY TALKED TO EACH OTHER, BUT HONESTLY THIS TIME!!! im so happy, overjoyed, elated, ecstatic, and RELIEVED the time has come 🥺 hyunjin trying to resist and hold himself was so endearing too (and hilarious boy was STRUGGLIN lol) im not gonna lie tho kinda sad he didnt say “i love you” back but obviously thats a big thing to say and im content with how things went regardless 😌 (plus he did say he was in love with her sooooooooo👀👄👀)

the ending line as well……… 🥲 your writing is truly impeccable you dont understand jade 🥺 and im so grateful to have started reading this since the very beginning and have been able to go on this journey of being frustrated with y/n and hyunjin together 😭 im also extremely grateful to the amount of time and effort you have and continue to put into everything you write and give us! i hope you know you are loved and appreciated dearly by your readers, especially this one 🥺🥺🥺🥺💜💜💜 but also sis pLEASE take a break whenever you need it! i love your dedication to your work but id hate for you to ever feel stressed or overwhelmed by it!

aside from all that,,,,,, i think this chapter might have been my least and most favorite written chapter if that makes sense 😅 it was SO FUCKING PAINFUL AND FRUSTRATING but also the excruciating pain felt in the beginning really added to the blissful relief and happiness i felt in the end 🥰 and i feel like this was such an important chapter for a lot of other characters too, even in their subtle ways!

im gonna go now though but i hope your day is going wonderfully so far and youre happy and healthy 🥰🥰💜 thank you so much for blessing us with such a long and well written chapter! 🥺💜 jade best writer agenda going STRONG 😩😤🤩

- 💜

HELLO hello hellooooooo. finally getting around to longer reviews, wish i could keep them in my inbox forever though because they're so close to my heart and i scroll through them everytime i feel down or not inspired.

i have been in love and i have been heartbroken many times so i will say you are so lucky 😀😀😀💔💔💔💔💔 also if anybody breaks your heart they gonna find my fist in their face 👊🏻

their conversation was the most non productive it was funny but sad and painful.

that's so cool that you're in a kpop dance group ?? if i was there i would film your fancams all day long bestie 🤪

and definitely!! writing many characters and conversations is one of my favorite things to do and their friend circle is indeed so connected, just makes things harder for them !!!

EXACTLY. hyunjin loved the necklace but probably never realized the true significance of it in his own life, which is why yn needed to hear it from somebody else, about what it means to him, to understand how much she means to him.

writing the 325 room scene was so hard and im so thankful you loved it so much. he really was strugglin holding back 😭😭😭😭😭 imagine having the power to make hwang hyunjin lose his cool 😔👋🏻

thank you for your kind words, you make my day, your kind of reviews make this story worth writing and im so thankful to you. 💓💓💓💓

[youre-killing-me-fandom]

Parkner week 2020 Day 1: future au

This trope was not my own idea. Also, this is my first time writing fanfiction so it’s probably terrible. All constructive criticism is welcome. 

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The last thing Tony Stark remembered was the white-hot pain of the stones' power rushing through his body followed by the peaceful relief of feeling nothing as his surroundings slowly drifted away. 

Yet there he was, standing inside of a building that looked strangely similar to the Avengers Compound though at the same time, completely different.  

"Tony… you've been gone for over ten years…" said Pepper slowly with tears in her eyes. 

Tony's eyes widened in shock. "What year is it?" 

"2036"

Tony's mind had to take a second to process what he was hearing. He had been gone for thirteen years, which means Morgan should be almost eighteen, Peter 29, and Harley 30. His kids grew up without him; his baby girl was an adult; Peter and Harley had graduated for Christ's sake, from both high school and college. Tony couldn't have held back the sob he let out even if he tried.

"Oh Tony…" she gathered her husband in her arms. He buried his face in her neck and let out heart-wrenching sobs. His tears were beginning to dampen Pepper's neck when she started to run her fingers through his hair in a soothing manner. 

"They were devastated, you know," Pepper began, "Everyone was, but it took them longer to finally accept that you were gone." 

Tony raised his head and furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, "Who?"

"Harley and Peter," replied Pepper, "Harley locked himself in your lab for days on end and wouldn't come out until someone went in and forced him to get some rest. Peter wouldn't eat and hardly got any sleep from all of the nightmares he was having. It finally got to the point where Helen had to hook him up to an IV after he passed out once. That was when I told them both that you wouldn’t want them doing this to themselves. After that, they started to make progress.” 

Another wave of sorrow hit Tony like a brick wall. His boys were so upset over his death that they neglected their own health. How many times had they willingly allowed themselves to be hurt because of him?

"But they got better," continued Pepper, "They were able to find comfort and start looking after each other." She let out a chuckle. "They were practically attached at the hip. Still are." 

That made Tony smile. He was glad that they got along. He always wanted to introduce them but never got the chance to before the Blip happened. 

"You should see them. You'd be so proud. They're both helping me so much with Stark Industries. I honestly have no idea what I'd do without them," said Pepper, as she wiped away the remaining tears left on his face.

"What about Morgan? How’s she?" 

"She's amazing," said Pepper. Tony tried to make a comment about how of course she is, she’s his daughter, but Pepper just ignored him with an eyeroll.  "Peter says she's the perfect combination of you and me with your brains and my business skills. God only knows one day the three of them are either going to take over the world or destroy it." 

Tony let out a snort, "That sounds about right." 

···································

They continued to talk about everything he'd missed for over an hour when Pepper let out a startled sound, “I forgot to tell you-"

"Hey Pepper, do you know where my..laptop...is…" said Harley as he walked in before making eye contact with Tony and tapping his watch, which turned into a repulser that was aiming straight at the older man.

“Harley?” Tony asked in wonder, tears threatening to spill again. Harley looked different from how he did when he had last seen him, but that was, without a doubt, him. His dirty blonde hair had grown long enough to reach just above his ears, and, Jesus, was he tall. The blue-eyed boy looked like he reached a height of about 6’3”, a full two inches taller than Tony himself. He was about to say more but was cut off by a startlingly hard voice. 

"What the hell are you doing here?" yelled Harley. Pepper jumped up in alarm at the younger boy's harsh tone and stood between the two of them, getting in the way of the repulser's shot.

"It's not him, Harley." Not who? Tony thought.

Harley’s narrowed eyes never left the other man as he replied with a snarl, "Tony’s dead, so who else could it be?" 

"It's not, I had Friday check to make sure it wasn't an illusion. Do you really think I wouldn’t think of that?" said Pepper, her voice laced with accusation. 

Harley looked at her for a second before reluctantly lowering his gun “No...but then how-”

“Your guess is as good as mine. He said the last thing he remembers is using the stones against Thanos before ending up here.” 

Tony watched them talk back and forth for another ten minutes while he processed what just happened. What did this person do to make him so hostile? Before he could stop himself, he voiced his confusion. 

Harley stopped arguing with Pepper and turned to him with a sigh, “You’re really you, aren’t you?” His eyes searched Tony for any hesitation while he waited for an answer. 

“Of course, who else would I be? Seriously, what’s going o-” 

He was cut off by someone throwing themselves at him and wrapping their arms around him in a firm hug. “God, I missed you, old man.” 

Tony relaxed in his grip and returned the hug tightly. “Missed you too, kid” 

It took them several minutes to rein in their emotions and let go of each other, their faces wet with tears. Neither of them were ever really good at emotions, both preferring to make sarcastic comments rather than state their true feelings.

“So, you never answered my question,” stated Tony. 

Harley looked at him in confusion, “What question?” 

“Who did you think I was?” Tony both wanted to change the subject and satisfy his curiosity, but Pepper and Harley gave each other a worried glance before tentatively turning back to him. 

“It’s a, uh, long story,” Harley said, “A lot happened while you were gone," but as he raised his arms to start explaining, Tony noticed something. 

“Hold on a second...Is that a wedding ring?! You're married?!"

“Oh, well, I guess,” The blonde boy sheepishly rubbed his neck. 

“What do you mean you ‘guess?’” Tony cried, “Who is it? Do I know them?” 

Harley looked overwhelmed, but it was obvious that Pepper found this all amusing due to the bright laugh she let out. “I told you he would go crazy if he ever found out. Just wait until he hears who it is.” The boy glared at her for a second, wishing she wouldn’t encourage the older man. It wasn’t that Harley was afraid to tell Tony about his husband, but...he was kind of afraid to tell him about his husband. Both Harley and Peter knew that Tony had seen them both as sons, and they had mournfully speculated on multiple occasions what his reaction would be; however, now that he was given the chance to find out for himself, he was hesitant. Would Tony be mad at them? God knows that neither of them would be able to deal with their pseudo-father's rejection very well, especially Peter. 

“Well, you see, it’s-”

“Tony?” Tony’s head shot up at the sound of his name.

“Peter! Wait, it's not-” Harley tried to reach out to the other boy, but he fearfully jerked away from the incoming touch, eyes wide. When he saw this, Harley’s blue eyes softened into something akin to hurt and a small sympathetic noise left his throat. 

“Peter, sweetheart, you’re ok, you’re safe. It’s not Beck,” spoke Harley softly, as if he were talking to a frightened animal, but it didn’t seem to work.  Peter began to hyperventilate the longer he looked at the scene in front of him. In an attempt to block out the illusion, he quickly shut his eyes and covered his ears, trying to defend himself against the more than likely painful experience he was about to have.

“Pepper, get him out of here!” snapped Harley, and it didn’t take long for Pepper to grab Tony’s arm and pull him out of the room despite the boy’s rude tone. At this point, Tony was very confused. He thought Peter would be ecstatic to see that he was back, not fearful. And who is Beck? The name is vaguely ringing a bell. Is that who Harley thought he was? What did he do to Peter that would make him have a panic attack the moment he thought he saw him?

Once he and Pepper were out of sight from the other two, they came to a stop. “What the hell was that all about?” Tony demanded. 

Pepper let out a long sigh, and in that moment, she looked very tired. "Do you remember Quentin Beck?" 

The second Tony heard the man's full name, memories of a brown haired man screaming at him rushed to the surface of his brain. That psycho was who everybody was so defensive against? Tony remembered the project they were working on. Beck was brilliant, but he had proven himself to be unstable when he tried to use an experiment with their work on an unsuspecting intern. After that, Tony had stopped the partnership between them and wrote up a contract that said Tony got full rights to the product and Beck would only get part of the credit since Tony had done most of the work anyways. He really hoped that didn't result in consequences for his protege. 

But unfortunately his hope ended up being dashed when Pepper began to explain all of the things Beck had done to Peter in Europe as revenge for what Tony had done, from revealing his identity and framing him for murder to hitting him with a speeding train (of all things), all while psychologically tormenting him with illusions of his worst fears and most traumatic experiences. Apparently while Peter was on the run as an international criminal, Pepper and Happy had sent him to stay with Harley to lay low while they cleared his name and did damage control. 

Tony couldn't believe what he was hearing. His son had gone through hell and back in the wake of his death and Tony wasn't there to help him.  Peter must've felt so alone, not to mention all of the PTSD he must've gotten from the whole ordeal.

Pepper saw the combination of anguish and fierce protectiveness on his face and assured Tony that yes, Peter had been through a lot, but between Harley, Happy, May, Morgan, and herself, he was able to mentally recover for the most part. He still has nightmares and panic attacks about what happened but he is now able to put the suit on and protect New York despite what happened to him as Spider-man. 

Tony still had so many questions, but before he could voice any of them Friday’s robotic voice said, "Mr. Keener wishes me to tell you that you may make your way back to the living room."

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As Pepper slowly led Tony back to where the boys were, she cautioned, "Just give him some time. One of Beck's favorite things to torment him with was you."

Tony's anger flared once more. How dare Beck hurt his kid like that. It's a good thing he's dead because he definitely wouldn't be alive for much longer with Tony here now. 

When they finally re-entered the living room, what Tony saw made him freeze. Peter wasn’t cowering against the wall anymore but was now standing in Harley’s arms with his face buried in the taller boy’s chest. Harley had his head rested on top of Peter’s chocolate curls as he serenely swayed the both of them back and forth and murmured something Tony couldn’t hear. He looked over to Pepper to see if she was seeing the same thing he was, but she was just looking at the two with fond eyes before quickly glancing in Tony’s direction with a smug smile. He raised his eyebrows at her in question but she just gently shook her head and cleared her voice to grab  the others’ attention. 

Peter and Harley both looked up, startled, before de-tangling from each other minus one hand. The former looked at Tony with hesitation and asked, “Is it really you?” 

“Yeah, bud, it’s me,” replied Tony, trying to put as much sincerity in his eyes as possible. 

When Peter heard that, he let out a sob and let go of Harley’s hand as he threw himself at his mentor. Tony was quick to meet him halfway in a bone-crushing hug, securing his arms around the boy as he turned his face into the younger man’s temple. Peter was openly crying with his head tucked into Tony’s neck, the tears on his face soaking the older man’s skin, “I missed you...so much,” hiccups breaking apart his speech. 

“God, I missed you too, kid,” was all Tony could say in response. 

It felt like hours before they let go of each other, them both trying to make up for the years they didn’t have together. When they finally took a step back, Peter went back to Harley’s side and grabbed his hand again, seeking comfort from it. That was when Tony noticed the gold band on his ring finger as well. “What the hell?! You’re married too?!” he shouted. 

Peter, Harley, and Pepper all gave each other a look that lasted a little too long, and Tony felt like he was missing something, “What?” 

“You really haven’t figured it out yet?” replied Pepper with a touch of humor in her voice. 

“Figured what out?”

“I guess I never actually told you who I was married to…” chimed Harley, “It’s, uh, it’s Peter. Peter’s my husband.” The couple gave each other a look full of love and adoration before turning back to Tony to see his reaction.

Tony’s breath was knocked out of his lungs, “Holy shit, seriously?” He always knew the two of them would get along together like fire takes to oxygen, but he never imagined this. Though now that he thinks about it, it kind of makes sense. The boys are very similar with their love of science yet are complete opposites personality-wise. Harley is rough around the edges and prefers to avoid discussing feelings or showing his true emotions, much like Tony does. While Peter, on the other hand, is soft-hearted and does his best to think about everybody else but himself. Together, they seem to complete each other, picking up the slack in one part of the other’s life that they weren’t aware was weighing them down. 

This time Peter spoke up saying, “Yeah, uh, we’ve been together for over ten years now. About four years ago Harley proposed to me and we got married two years later.” Tony’s heart dropped at the thought of missing their wedding. 

“They were both pretty upset about you not being able to be there, so we set up a chair in the front with a picture of you sitting on it,” added Pepper. 

Tony tried to will away the tears that were threatening to spill again but a few of them ran down his cheeks anyways. He was touched by their gesture and walked forward to engulf them both in a hug that they returned, “I’m happy for you, boys.” The two of them seemed to relax at that, but by then, everyone in the room was crying. 

“I’m glad you’re back,” whispered Peter with a smile despite the tears running down his face. 

“Me too, kid, me too.”