#ive lost my train of thought

[luck-of-the-drawings]

[OLD ART ALERT] A COLLECTION OF SCENES FROM THE GILLIONS CATSCRATCH ARC THAT BROUGHT ME GREAT JOY. i love fishy chips especially when its just gillion being delirious and violent and hostile

[copias-juicebox]

scusi?? 😳🥵 x

[moreaugriffins]

IDK who needs to hear this, but Egon and Ray aren't the only autistic og ghostbusters

Peter is too

Your telling me this man with two PhDs related to psychology, who always has the exact right thing to say to manipulate a situation to his favour (when it's a planned/known situation), but cocks up massively when it's an unknown situation, who has a massive reaction to getting slimed (more so than the others), who would rather joke all the time than take a situation seriously because wtf should he say

you're telling me this man is neurotypical?

nah

Winston's the only NT in this group (idk how he deals with these weirdos (affectionate))

[muchmossymess]

Why is everyone here so obsessed with sex and romance why can't you appreciate the comedic genius of "rivals who fight about parenting to rile the other up to begrudging coparents who bicker like a divorced couple to actually maybe tolerating the other and the insults are now less spiteful and biting to hells first qpr (queerplatonic rivalry) to hells first qpr (queerplatonic relationship)"

[pup-pee]

hi i did it

srry don i cut u out i rlly didnt want 2 draw 2 adults ;;

[bluejaybytes]

its THIS MOTHERFUCKERS BIRTHDAY! PARKER has been in my brain for ONE YEAR! She is the WORST she's TERRIBLE she's AWFUL I think about her CONSTANTLY and she's UNWELL!

[chasing-the-persea]

Imagine Percy having a really rough day. His power, what he’s done, who he’s had to be to do those things, are weighing on him. Frankly, he scares himself. He doesn’t know how any sane person would want him around, much less around kids, especially as a counselor.

He puts on a brave face. Maybe if he looks happy no one will remember there’s a person behind that face who can’t look at himself in the mirror.

He doesn’t know how it happened; maybe he agreed to it when he was lost in his mind, putting on the “chill older counselor” face everyone expects, but he finds himself in the sand volleyball pit on the team of campers from the less populated cabins. The Demeter and Hermes cabin teamed up on the other side.

The game itself is a fog to Percy. The only breaks in his gloom come in the form of reminders: that’s only a volleyball (images of a giant hurling rocks at him flash in front of his eyes). they’re calling the ball (the sound of campers crying out for help in countless battles echo in his head). that’s just sand (the phantom touch of Gaia’s earth brush his legs)

Before he knows it his team is cheering: they won. He doesn’t know how–or if–he contributed any. He chastises himself. A good leader wouldn’t let themselves be distracted. Wouldn’t…his shoes are gone.

He could’ve swore they were right there? If he wasn’t so caught up with himself he would know where he put his shoes, that’s so stupid what would have happened if he was in battle and he got distracted, then it’d be on his head if another camper got killed again because of him, he shouldn’t have even played what was he thinking—

A Hermes kid was holding them up, taunting him, retaliating for their loss. He took one step towards them and they took two steps away. Their face was…playful? This was a prank. They’re pranking him. Don’t they know what he’s done, why their cabin is so empty now?

He took another step. This time the kid let out a excited laugh and ran a few feet away. This was a game. For fun. The kid knows but doesn’t care. They just want to have fun with an older counselor. camper. cousin. whatever the relation, they genuinely just want to mess with him.

But why would they—unless. Unless they aren’t afraid of him.

They see him as a leader, and like any other rotten kid, they want to tease whoever’s in charge. The kid is just being a kid, doing kid things. Like stealing someone's shoes and knowing they won't be hurt because of it. Because they believe Percy is good.

He tries to ignore the similarities on the kids face to one he knew so well, one he thought was good when he was the kids age.

I'm not Luke, he reminded himself. A tiny whisper in a corner of his mind hissed how are you any different?

He looked at the kid again, who was still holding out the shoes, attempting to lure him into a chase. The kid took a couple more steps away, grinning wildly as Percy’s face set in determination.

I’m going to be the person Luke needed, and the one he never was for me. We deserve better.

He sprinted after the Hermes kid, laughing lighter than he had in months.

[queerian]

watching @drdemonprince's conversation with Fern Brady and god this is why it's important to hear people like us talk about our experiences. i learn so much from other autistic people.

while talking about alexithymia fern described having ongoing and mysterious pain during a really stressful period of time that never went away no matter what she tried, and as soon as she received resolution on the thing she was stressed about, the pain also resolved. ive this exact experience a number of times and i have slowly been building a very contextually-specific hypothesis about it (my body builds up pain like a pressure valve and as long as i deny it it gets worse, and as soon as i give myself permission to take the rest i need - and take that rest - it tends to resolve. at least the acute moments. for the longest time, i would not let myself call in sick from work unless i was "sick enough", because i was terrified of being seen as unreliable, and because i was worried about losing the income for any missed days of work. i've always used up my PTO on sick days and doctor days because i needed so many of those.

ever since ive been working from home, and then promoted to a a role where i have a lot more ability to work around things like this without losing pay, i've suffered a lot fewer of those maxed out pressure valve moments.

my ibs in general and flareups have all also gotten a lot less acute.

fern's story just gave me a lightning bolt of realization, and put into perspective all this mysterious sporadic and chronic pain i experience that doctors can never really explain or understand no matter how much i describe it or how many tests i undergo. i just saw my doctor yesterday about it and she shrugged and suggested we continue to monitor it and as usual we ruled out all the things it probably isnt.

even ibs is one of those diagnoses of excluding what it isnt.

anyway. it's fucking incredible to hear someone talk about experiencing something and for the first time in three decades being able to point at that and go "yes!! me too!! that's the thing i experience too!!!"

[mishy-mashy]

That opinion that every happy ending involves getting married and having kids and it's happily ever after? This does NOT apply to the Astrea family AT ALL.

Case Study #1: Wilhelm and Theresia

They marry and have a kid, go through that typical line of a happy end... but in reality, Wilhelm loves his wife too much, and it's a problem

(especially after said wife dies and he blames everyone else in his family and Oh, Look! Family Drama!™)

Happily ever after? He's estranged himself from the Astreas now, blames his own grandson, and goes on a long journey of revenge. His son's become an alcoholic, his daughter-in-law is dead to the world, and he just left the Astrea family to be handled by the mess that is Heinkel

Wilhelm was so obsessed with his wife, thought his kid might've been a genius (he was not), and when his wife was gone, he was pretty quick to turn around and leave

And where was he before Theresia even died? Where was Theresia, too? When Heinkel couldn't get a job, when Louanna became a Sleeping Beauty, or when people broke into the Astrea manor?

Reinhard was five when Theresia died. These events all happened before that, and they're... enjoying retirement, I guess?

Case #2: Louanna and Heinkel

First off, they married young. Well, to us, it's young, but remember, the age they can start getting married is 15. They're in something like a medieval period. Being around 18 or 19 is totally plausible to get married for them. As we've seen with Priscilla, age gaps aren't a problem either

Heinkel has a beautiful wife and has a kid, and all is well for exactly two years. Then his wife is Gluttony-ed, and everything goes downhill from then on

Heinkel...

... has little talent for the sword, yet is stuck between two generations of Sword Saints (his mother and his son)

... doesn't qualify for the "van" in his name

... can't even get a proper job on his own

... almost loses Reinhard when he's FOUR

... is searching for a cure for his wife that involves killing the dragon that protects their kingdom

... has not kept his wife's state under wraps so nearly everyone knows and can gossip

... verbally abuses even those who try to help him and then regrets it when it's too late

... lost to his own 5-year old kid in a sword duel despite training his whole life himself

... is aware that national laws have been made to restrict his son

... has a job for the sake of appearances with no actual responsibility

... 's job is being done for him by someone about half his age and is otherwise just a knight (Julius)

Heinkel grew up with two heroes for parents, realized he could never match up to even the family general standard, but he does get a beautiful wife and son... and then his wife disappears in what might've the peak of his marriage, and his son has all the talent in the world—something Heinkel might've dreamed of having

Case 3: Reinhard.

Reinhard is obviously expected to marry and have a child to continue the Divine Protection, but that too is just another responsibility he's burdened with.

He's someone with so many Divine Protections that he can see the reality of what each is like. What if he doesn't want his kid to go through having the one that brings so much family expectation (Sword Master)?

Does Reinhard even lose that blessing if it's passed on? Does he just keep his copy and the next one has it too?

Would Reinhard actually feel relieved because his own child now shoulders the responsibilities he had to deal with over the Divine Protection?

Does Reinhard even have a proper understanding of how to express love, or what parental love looks like, if the two cases above are his main examples?

It's been stated that Reinhard would marry whoever the world chose. He isn't going to choose, and especially not for love. Reinhard's just an existence trying to please everyone and live up to their expectations because there's too much at stake that it's impossible to do otherwise

Example: what if he doesn't do right and everyone is dissapointed or leaves?

What even happened during the shady relationship Reinhard and Heinkel apparently had when Reinhard was younger?

In fact, the Astrea family problems started AFTER they got married. Except Reinhard, but that's because he already has to deal with the problems from the marriages of those before him, and they still haven't been solved or even ignored

[gay-fordeath]

Gotta scream abt smth that happened this weekend and I do not think the tags will have enough space for this particular rant. I am yelling at myself here please just disregard.

I worked a play this weekend and while driving to the theater with my colleague and one of the actors we passed some kind of sign that had some art on it that I guessed was AI generated. May not have been but it had that look so I just made a passing comment abt it. It sparked a conversation about generative AI with the actor that has left such a bad taste in my mouth since then so we're just getting it out so I can stop stewing on it.

I expressed my dislike for generative AI and how harmful it is and how distasteful I find it and I said the classic, why should I bother to read something you couldn't be bothered to write as a way to summarize my feelings and the actor we were driving seemed to take offense to that.

He started this whole thing about what if he had this dream to make a cartoon or animation or whatever but he can't draw and it's late in his life, he's almost 40, he's not gonna take the 20yrs to learn to draw and animate especially because he can't just put his life on hold for it like he has to work and make money to survive he has no time, why do that when he could just have the ai generate it? So I explained that as a visual artist (drawing/painting) the act of creation is what makes art so wonderful and is the most enjoyable part of the process etc. We went back and forth like this a bit and I'm pretty bad with words when speaking or put on the spot so I wound up saying something that wasn't like 100% the most accurate way to express the sentiment - i said if you're not willing to put in the time and practice and effort necessary to learn a skill like art, you should just give up, why bother pursuing it at all?

Naturally that didn't go down too well, and I get it cause again that's not really the best wording for what I wanted to express. But he and my colleague went into this whole thing about like what an awful thing to say and would I say that to a child, how demoralizing and demotivating and crushing for that child and whatnot and i was like ok let me try that again. The sentiment here is that these things do take work and you've got to be willing to put that work in. If you're not, generative AI is not your only option. Why not make a collaborative project then, find artists and animators and whatnot and work together?

He made examples about music too and how he tried for years to learn guitar and just wasn't any good, couldn't do it etc and why not just use generative AI to create the music he hears in his head. To that I was like well for one we already have digital music programs that are not generative AI so just use those, you'll get a better result. And again, if not, just make it a collaborative effort?? Find some actual musicians and work with them??

At the end of the day the view I hold and tried to express in a few different ways is that art is about creation. And for some people yes the end result is the more important part to them as compared to someone like me, for whom the result is secondary to the joy of the process. But even then, maybe I'm wrong but I'm willing to bet part of what makes that end result so satisfying/important is the fact that they made it, themselves, with their own two hands - there's the pride of that end result being their work, their effort. His heels were pretty firmly dug in the soil of "if I don't have the time/desire/motivation/etc to pursue learning the thing by hand what's wrong with getting it done via generative AI, you're just gatekeeping at that point."

My friend tonight said that at that point you're just looking to make content without putting any real effort/work into it and I think that sums it up pretty well. The thing is while generative AI has other issues that make me dislike it such as environmental factors, etc, I also think it has its role as a tool to add to art - I can compare it to the idea of using practical effects on TV and film that are touched up with minimal CGI as opposed to doing the whole effect with CGI.

Maybe it is kinda gatekeeping art or whatever but like. To go back to a previous statement, not to be too harsh but: if you're not willing to put even a small amount of effort to learn an art, then as far as I'm concerned, you're not actually interested in pursuing the art. You just want to make content, quickly and easily, with no active role in the creation. Even commissioning an artist to work with you to create your vision is more effort than typing a prompt into the mediocrity machine. Commissioned work is more your work than anything you rip out of generative AI. And, as an artist, it just does not seem worth it. What is the point of art - any art - if not to be the one to create it, whether the process or the end result is more important to you?

We cut the convo off because we got a bit heated abt it, and my colleague was getting anxious. The funny thing is I didn't feel like I was arguing so much as passionately debating but there's something about that actor and how he carries himself and whatnot that just made it not sit well with me and now that my weekend is done and I can relax after the chaos it's coming back like fucking acid reflux. Sorry for this ridiculous long post that's just word-vomit on your feed.

[royalarmyofoz]

for the first time i had a dream where my mom wasn't still alive. i referred to her in the past tense and i knew she wasn't with us anymore. i know those things sound so basic but it's kind of revolutionary for me. for ten years ive had dreams where she's here and i can "get back to normal" i guess. having those recurring themes really fucks with your head too. felt like i was gaslighting myself. funny thing is, in the dream where i refer to her as gone, i was talking to my old cat who's been dead for 5 years. so like? one giant step forward and a tiny step backwards

[jup1tersparx]

i wanna go home (<- left the house 1 minute ago)

[colorintermediate]

suguru fixation

[butch-with-a-deep-voice]

I love lesbians because we can be on a video call, I can whip out a tit, and you can fully watch every thought leave her pretty little head in real time 💕

[gemwolfz]

sometimes i think i should call myself a keroro kinnie on account of Hes Just Like Me Fr but also i know there are real actual keroro fictionkin folks around here and like. I dont want to appropriate your culture yknow

[alchemiclee]

I hope someone writes a good fic about the high cloud quintet with all the messy pieces of lore we have because i'm very unsatisfied with what we got and I want MORE OF THEM. don't know why i'm so obsessed with this tragic group of friends but 😭 IM SO FEELINGS ABOUT THEM but also empty because they didn't satisfy me with what they gave us lmao I require more. but that was the end and i'll never get more....unless someone writes a great fic about them.....!