#ive just been thinking about taking it all off anon lately and seeing how many death threats itll get me

[neko-naruto]

i both regret and am thankful for the fact i know how to post stuff anonymously

[volivolition]

hi, how are your fic wips? ive been. thinking a lot about them lately lmao. if you dont wanna share any info thats fine feel free to delete this ask bdidndhx

HI ANON!! oH WAHH CRIES???? that means a lot, thank you for thinking of my stories omg?? :'] <33 im ALWAYS happy to share info about my fics, don't worry!! in this one, i'll talk about "Let's Make It (a) Home" and "Swept Up"!!

Preface, here's all my fic wips as explained before!! and all my writing can be found in my #inland drabbles tag! ask 1, ask 3!

Let's Make It (a) Home is a fic about the Hanged Man case, from the perspective of the skills learning to work together again and rebuild a home! current word count is 3042 :]

Swept Up in the Feeling is a character study fic from the perspective of Empathy hanging out with the other skills! current word count is 13116!! :D

RIGHT OFF THE BAT HERE'S A SNIPPET FROM MAKE IT HOME!

oN GOD IF I COULD JUST SHARE THIS ENTIRE SNIPPET?? i won't but IT MAKES ME SO HAPPY HJGKJG so like. skill check failures means that skill is unable to fulfill its duty. if this were, say, a hand/eye coordination check fail, he'd probably drop the sword or like. accidentally stab himself hkjgh BUT volition stands for self-restraint, serious business and acting responsibly, so WHEN HE FAILS THE SKILL CHECK…

god. i love volition. i love swords. it's just volition showing off to his heart's content, HE DESERVES TO BE HAPPY MAN HGKJG. writing the description following this was absolutely delightful, i love how poetic it turned out, THIS WHOLE SCENE IS SO DEAR TO ME..

this fic is probably my favorite out of all my fics, tbh? i love the skills man!! the dynamic of like... "i don't remember a lot of you or a lot of myself, and it's all so distantly familiar, but regardless we all have to work together right now." i think before this they were really dysfunctional, and that persists through the game, and in the fic. they bicker and argue and they don't always get along, but this is a fresh start for all of them and it helps them learn to cooperate better, learning to work as a team!!

the idea that they're also struggling through this, everything harry feels, but trying to keep it together, to work together for their core. in the end, they all want what they think is best for harry, y'know? im really excited to write for the dora dream, y'all know how the skills are in the dream, my GOD. SCREAMS. anyway thats hype hfjhg the whole concept of getting to see the game from the skills perspective, rebuilding, reforming bonds. its really sweet to me.

writing this fic requires replaying all of disco elysium, so i can write it from the skills perspective, which is a BIG ENDEAVOR hgkjg

NOW!! Swept Up in the Feeling, aka EMPATHY MY DARLING. my favorite guy i love him!! kisses his forehead lovingly!! i adoreee this volition chapter, it's a flashback chapter before a MAJOR EVENT happens in the fic and it's just there to showcase my volition and empathy childhood best friend propaganda, theeyyyyy make me so happy i'll cry hgkjg

it's just!! volition was the first skill empathy ever met and attached to!! and empathy was the first skill volition ever met alone, so he feels a sense of responsibility for him hkjg and they're playmates and they take naps and they grow up together and they care about each other.

oughhh i have MANY THOUGHTS ABOUT THEM, and so many art wips of them too hgkjg <33 i'll get to it!!! eventually!! hgkjg

otherwise, I LOVE SWEPT UP!! i love skills character studies!! i love these guys as characters in their own right, and not just narrators or extensions of harry's thoughts!! i love exploring them from empathy's point of view, because thats EMPATHY'S WHOLE THING?? HJLKGJ that he'll know how the other skill feels, how they think, and he'll try to understand and empathize!! he's like, the PERFECT character to do character studies from?? i LOVE YOU EMPATHY!!!

every chapter makes me endeared to each skill hgkjg the drama chapter is fuckin cookin man, thats INTERESTING STUFF HKJGG the phys chapter RAUGH. I LOVE YOU COACH YOU'RE REALLY FUNNY AND ALSO I FEEL EMOTIONS ABOUT YOU HKJG i love all of them really, if anyone wants details on a chapter in specific, hit up the ask box bro hgklj i don't have everyone down yet, but even if i don't i'll probably just use it to brainstorm hgkj <33

OKAY THAT'S ALL!! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE ASK!!! i really love chatting about my fics, it just takes a lot to type it all out in words hkjgg i could ramble forever if anyone wanted to listen for that long hkjg ANYWAY THANK YOU CHEFS KISS

[hayatoseyepatch]

hello sam pam (happy 500!!!)

want the full experience so i am on anon ( why was it was so hard to describe myself)

personality: she/her, intp, stem major. likes: spring, the beach, green apples, bears, cats, woody&earthy scents, short nails, indie games, peppermint tea, silver, watches, blue tights (that i recently got), smiskis, pineapple pizza. dislikes: the rain, food that's too hot, cherry flavored things, calling, wearing socks to sleep, card games. pet peeves: slow drivers, people who eat with their mouths open, talking during a movie, people who cut in line

fandoms: ive read/know all of the fandoms u listed except love&deepspace

tropes: so many but i will list fake dating and drunk confessions

type: someone easy-going and can take things slow

icks: people who cant hold a convo

idk what else...i will await ur verdict judge sam 🫡

Hi there undercover mootie ( ˶˘ ³˘(ˊᗜˋ)!♡ I hinestly saw your trope and ran with it, I had so much fun. I hope you enjoy! MWAH

I'm gonna pair you with Jo Togame from Wind Breaker!

⤜♡→ Jo Togame is more caring than I feel people give him credit for, we see it through his interactions with Sakura and Choji. He hangs onto your every word loving to talk to you about your interests. He loves just talking to you. He too hates someone who he cant just talk to. So the both of you could spend the longest time just talking, its ow he fell for you in the first place, getting to know you through your words and quality time.

⤜♡→ If you’re looking for easy going look no further than Togame. He is perfectly content to just enjoy your company. He doesn’t need much or have to have anything extravagant so long as he has you by his side that’s all he truly wants. Whether its just taking a stroll along the beach or sitting at home contentedly watching you play one of your indie games. He’s happy as long as he’s with you.

⤜♡→ I’m so glad you brought up earthy/woodsy scents because that’s exactly how I think Togame smells. Just this comforting scent of the outdoors not too powerful or overpowering, just a nice amount that you can smell as he holds you in his arms.

You blink the sleep from your eyes at the sound of your phone ringing, checking the clock you see it reads close to 01:30 am. Who could possibly be calling at this hour? Checking the contact you see that it was Jo. It was unusual for him to call you at this late hour, thinking something was wrong you scramble to answer it. “Jo is everything okay?” It’s silent on the other line, only for a moment before you hear his voice on the other end. His voice comes out slurred, obvious he had been drinking. “Babesss” He drawls, Togame always had a habit of calling you countless pet names. “Why aren’t you here, where are you?” You could hear the pout in his voice. Togame, the usual calm and collected one of the bunch tended to get a lot more loose when he drank, it was always amusing how especially clingy he became when it came to you. “Jo its almost 1:30 in the morning I’m in bed.” You can hear his whine, trying your best to stifle your laughter. “Well get out of bed, I miss you, come here. I wanna kiss your face.” That was new. You felt your face grow warm with the intentions behind his words.

As you were taking a moment to recover from his words, there’s a significant amount of fumbling on the other line. Sako’s voice rings through, definitely more sober. “I’m sorry about that we’ve been trying to keep him from waking you up.” You hear a lot of movement on the other line, no doubt Sako avoiding Togame’s confiscation of his phone, hearing his voice once more. “Sako, you ass give me the phone, I wanna talk to her.” To which Sako just lets out a burdened sigh. You giggle, shaking your head as you pull yourself out of bed. “It’s fine Sako, let me come take him off your hands, you guys are at the auditorium right?” After he confirms, you quickly grab your letterman, heading out the door to come pick him up. Once you arrive, you can see him perk up immediately, rushing over to you instantly. He wraps himself around you, placing a good bit of his weight on you as hangs off you, the impact knocking some of the wind out of you due to his large stature.

He smiles, nuzzling his nose into the crook of your neck. “I missed you.” He mumbles, works slurred into your skin. You had a feeling it would take quite a bot to pry him off of you and he would be deeply regretting his actions in the morning with the hangover he no doubt would be having. After some minor convincing you managed to get him to leave with you. Taking him back to your apartment, you gave him some water and painkillers to try and prevent his head from splitting when he awoke. As you went to go set up the couch for yourself for the night, you feel his grip on your wrist, he tugged you into the bed with him. His body curling around your own. “Don’t leave me.” His words were so pleading, he was hanging on to consciousness as it was, so you decided to stay. He smiles as he rested his head on your chest. “I love you, I hope you know that. Wanna be with you for the rest of my life.” His words trail off and within moments his breathing evens out before soft snores fill the room. You lay there in shock from his words, but knowing even in this state that he meant them. You just hoped he wouldn’t be too embarrassed when you returned his confession in the morning.

[pinkmoondoll9shihtzu]

hi, im a mutual of yours who is too shy/on&off tumblr to interact, but i do look up to you; and your blog and way of seeing things helped me in the past when i was struggling quite a bit.

Lately I feel as if im lost in life, lost my passions and floating aimlessly without a real goal, detached from the future etc. Do you have any advice? I appreciate ur view on things, hope this isnt overstepping 🌦🌈

hi its ok no pressure too interact w me ona personal level just cus were mutuals i enjoy the ambient bonds that can form on this website its why i stay ^^ and no it's not overstepping at a;ll sorry it took me a lil while to respond i was trying to think of good advice since i often feel lost too---

well firs t n foremost to give credit where credit is due, this bjork reddit AMA response really gets to the bottom of it , ever since i first read this here on tumbr a few years ago it really rly stuck w me:

the way this answer helped me is like, it helped me realize i dont need to be so regimented i dont need to put all this pressure on myself to create..All that does is feed into self inflicted guilt when i cant live up to my own expectations u.u you see for my whole life i've never been able to plan anything. yes i can think about the next steps i want to take, i can assemble a plan, i can see the logical way forward, but my moods. or like, idek. how to explain..

i cant force anything. if im not feeling it, i cant force it. ive STRUGGLED w this like i dont wanna be this way. because my feelings i cant predict. like for example i worked on music all winter because thats what i was feeling. then suddenly in march i just like, wasnt feeling it all of a sudden. As soon as it hit me i was like Fy767*T&UG*** because i didnt know when it was gonna come back. i still dont know!! im just trying to be patient waiting it out..in the mean time i have suddenly become enthused with drawing again after not ~feeling~ drawing for most of 2023. sometimes i go for weeks where i dont take a single photo and then suddenly it starts flowing again.. my website was also left untouched for most of 2023 until recently.

thats just one example of this repeating pattern in my life that i didnt understand for so long. theres years of my 20s where i couldnt feel passion for anything at all, looking back now i believe those times i was meant to be focusing on stuff in my psyche that needed healing to clear out some headspace for art. and this bjork quote put a lot into perspective it showed me how to reformulate my thinking to be more accomodating to my disposition. when i'm patient & kind w myself, take each day as it comes, let go of the imaginary pressure, let go of "the future", stuff starts to come thru easier.

and maube its gonna show up in ways you dont expect but its true that the mundane world offers so many ways to practice being creative & giving u stuff to weave into the art u want to create.. every water fall starts w a single drop its trueits true :] thats my advice i spose i really didnt meant to write this much but im boooored.. actually my nighttime boredom writing is one of those habits i never considered to b creative until very recently. there's so many small & automatic things we do that can lead to a meaningful life & purpose.

thanks for the question anon i hope this helps in some way , this is whats helped me but everyone's process is different. and i still have moments where im like WTFFF is happening but its easier to ride it out now. i wish the same for you just give it time <3 thanks again xPmd9

[angelmush]

hi molly, you inspire me so much, thank you for being you. im about to move to a new city by myself for the first time and im scared. how did you build your life into one you loved? how do i meet people? i want so many things but sometimes they seem so far out of reach!! anyway, wishing you well and it always makes me happy to come visit your page and see you living life so fully :)

hello sweet anon!! sorry i am just getting to this, i was out of town for a few days and have been pretty offline in general lately. to be honest, i feel really really really underqualified to answer any questions about meeting people and making friends, as it is something that has never come easily to me, but i will do my best because i am SO excited for you!! moving somewhere new can be really healing!! i also want to gently remind you that social media-- even tumbr --is a highlight reel.

building my life into one i loved.

i think it's a few things.

it's a skill to find excitement about small things. delicious meals, nice weather, cute animals. being intentional about noticing and allowing yourself to feel excited about the little stuff does some kind of magic in your brain, and in appreciating your life in general. i am not naturally gifted at this whatsoever, but it's a muscle that takes practice to build, like anything.

i also dedicate a LOT of my free time to hobbies. right now it's mostly knitting, but often it's cooking and training my dog as well. watching movies and talking about them with people. spending time decorating the house. i'm very very very much a homebody, often to my detriment. it is monumentally difficult for me to take the first steps to leave the house to do things, even fun things, but once i do i am almost always better for it.

one sort of silly way i have helped to mitigate this, is that my girlfriend and i have started making seasonal bucket lists and magnetizing them onto our fridge. it turns it into sort of a game i guess, and it makes me feel accomplished to cross things off. we did really really well with ours this summer! we have three sections, small things (make smoothies, try a new dinner recipe, make a playlist), medium things (take the dog to the lake, see a movie in the theater, have drinks on a patio), and large things (go camping, go to pride, celebrate my birthday), etc. we just made our fall/winter one and i'm already sooooo excited for it!! it helped me to have a reason to leave the house while we were still getting our bearings in this new city.

i also have limited my social media time more recently on all apps except tumblr and pinterest to 15 minutes per day total. this helps me feel so much less frantic and it's easier for me to stay present than it used to be.

i also started taking medication! it's been a really big piece of the puzzle for me, personally. it helps my baseline be significantly more resilient and regulated and stable. it isn't a singular fix, but it opens up more space for that joy.

as far as meeting people goes, i will let you know when i figure it out LOL. im someone that needs a lot of quiet alone time to function and so i spend a lot of time with myself. i am still learning how to make the bridge from casual friends to a deeper and more meaningful friendship with the people ive met since moving here last august, and it's been a very clumsy imperfect process.

i'm sure this probably wasn't all that helpful haha it felt disjointed to write, and like i said, i am severely underqualified to give advice on this topic. but these are a handful of things i think have helped me in the last year, so hopefully there's something you can take from it!! wishing you all the luck and joy and wonder on your endeavors!! you can send me an ask anytime!! <33

[esther-dot]

Lately I've been toying with the idea that Jon will indeed become king of the FF. It's the only reasonable ending for him, the only one that matches both Jon's show ending and Sansa's book foreshadowing (to marry a king, not a prince, not a king who had been). I think the show ending on such ambiguous (and bitter!) terms for Jon was decided because of the sequel. In other words, I'm considering the possibility that M. will transfer his 5year gap at the end, and we'll see them again at the end after some time will have lapsed and they'll be older and firmly in their positions. But, with this ending I'm afraid we'll only get hints of Jon and Sansa's romance on page, and nothing too explicit (although I guess that it might have a role in Daeny's death).

I think that, throughout the book, the famous "the FF don't kneel" is only meant to be subverted: they will kneel to Jon, after everything he has done for them, and he will probably settle them in the Gift(s). In my opinion, this ending is truly poetic. If ASoIaF is a fairytale, then the hidden prince does not become king because of his inheritance (which he has already foresaken just as he will reject the Targaryen inheritance: so vividly given as "I don't want it!" in the show, lol), but has forged a kingdom for himself, because he is truly worth it. I am not sure that he will go to the Wall because he will be punished, but regardless, he will become king of the FF. If it will be like this, then Jon's ending is the apotheosis of subversions.

And only as an equal will he be able to marry Sansa: when Sansa becomes queen, everybody will want her for her claim twice over, unless her husband is already king. I think this ending is foreshadowed in her ASOS, Sansa IV chapter: two castles in the sky, one black, one grey, become one in all the colors of spring. Note that this is something Sansa sees in the morning sky, meaning after dawn.

And with this explanation I've made peace with the disastrously ambiguous ending of GoT.

I wish you'll make your peace too, Esther!

(old anon btw, anxiously waiting for your posts for years, and now this darn thing made take a name. So be it).

It's so nice to finally "meet" you @justleaves!

I like that reading of book foreshadowing and the mess GoT gave us. You know I can't agree with most of the fandom that we can entirely or even mostly dismiss the show's ending. Too much of it gave me that, "it was always meant to be this way" feeling and since the ending of the show, Jonsas have turned up a lot of foreshadowing for Arya sailing away, King Bran, Dark Dany, Jaime and Cersei dying together...so many things were kinda-sorta right, just presented so horribly they felt wrong!

I've always felt very weird about Jon becoming King of the FF, most of us Jonsas reject that out of hand because it really rubs us the wrong way, but I had a series of anons critical of Martin's handling of aspects of Dany's POV some time ago, particularly how he characterized the Dothraki, and I did go back to read/re-watch some interviews, and I've accepted he doesn't share our sensibilities there, or on a handful of other issues. I hadn't even realized I was projecting when I dismissed the possibility of a kid from a different culture becoming the leader of an indigenous group. To me that is inherently negative. But of course, at the time when Martin began all this, it wasn't generally perceived that way, and we have Mance so...

Right after GoT ended some of us speculated that not including the Gift was why they had Jon ride off past the Wall with the FF, while in the books, he might be responsible for the Gift, so I really like how you've blended the two. I've written before about how it would make sense to me that Jon rejects the Stark/Northern claim and then rejects the Targaryen/Southern claim, and is rewarded in he end for those decisions, and I think it would be a more satisfying resolution to the bastard struggle if he is chosen as a leader because of who he is rather than who his "father" is (whether we mean Ned's son -> KitN or Rhaegar's son -> Targ heir). The way Jon is of the North, has such connections to the Starks (whether as Ned's bastard or Lyanna's boy post parentage reveal) as well as his time with the FF, the understanding he has and care he has for them which others do not, well, it certainly sets him up as a great bridge between the cultures. A person uniquely capable of creating a lasting peace.

I also really like your idea of the time-lapse because a) Sansa's age b) allowing all these revelations time to settle. I can't rationalize how the cast of characters would accept Jon as the legitimized son of Ned, only to turn around and accept that actually he's Lyanna's son, and how they'd be ok with a Jonsa marriage immediately thereafter. And that's not even dealing with how he'll be perceived/the rumors that will be swirling around him post rez and whatever his actions are immediately after. Love it in fics, but when I think about it in Martin's words, hard for me to imagine, so the idea that in a few years after Jon has established himself they'd be able to marry, that makes sense to me.

I think this ending is foreshadowed in her ASOS, Sansa IV chapter: two castles in the sky, one black, one grey, become one in all the colors of spring. Note that this is something Sansa sees in the morning sky, meaning after dawn.

That is a beautiful reading of the scene! I can easily see that being the idea! The other reading I've seen on this is that it's the Jon and Sansa competing claims being joined as the solution to the Northern succession crisis (that may be @agentrouka-blog's spec? I'm not successfully turning anything up atm). I had actually written into the margins in my copy "sounds like Winterfell" by the line about a castle in ruins, and later in ASOS, we have back to back Jon and Sansa chapters that talk about Winterfell and have a weird number of similarities (link). But, specifically, the ruins/rebuilding idea seems like it points to Jon and Sansa's stories converging and allowing them to restore Winterfell together:

The warmth took some of the ache from his muscles and made him think of Winterfell's muddy pools, steaming and bubbling in the godswood. Winterfell, he thought. Theon left it burned and broken, but I could restore it. Surely his father would have wanted that, and Robb as well. They would never have wanted the castle left in ruins. (Jon XII, ASOS) The snow fell and the castle rose. Two walls ankle-high, the inner taller than the outer. Towers and turrets, keeps and stairs, a round kitchen, a square armory, the stables along the inside of the west wall. It was only a castle when she began, but before very long Sansa knew it was Winterfell. She found twigs and fallen branches beneath the snow and broke off the ends to make the trees for the godswood. For the gravestones in the lichyard she used bits of bark. Soon her gloves and her boots were crusty white, her hands were tingling, and her feet were soaked and cold, but she did not care. The castle was all that mattered. Some things were hard to remember, but most came back to her easily, as if she had been there only yesterday. The Library Tower, with the steep stonework stair twisting about its exterior. The gatehouse, two huge bulwarks, the arched gate between them, crenellations all along the top . . . (Sansa VII, ASOS)

So as always, I see the pros, I see the cons, I can't make up my mind, but I'm ok with that. I have no problem talking about GoT/my frustrations when I get an ask, but after I wrote my post canon fic Free, I just...wasn't angry anymore. D&D's choices will always baffle me, I'm disappointed we don't have TWOW yet, but I enjoy the different spec, fics, gifs, and art we have in the Jonsa fandom, so as long as we're all having fun, I'm happy.

I'd love to read any other observations you have about ASOIAF and fairytales, I think posts about parallels with other lit are fascinating!

[noellashes]

hiiiiiiii! feel free to ignore this ask but what do you like about noelashe? :0 I really like them too but I don't exactly know why myself... the parallels perhaps? the care? the potential? either way, I'm asking you how you feel about them! And I hope you have a wonderful day! :)

so so sorry for the late response but

anon you don't understand how long ive been waiting for someone to ask me this exact question

this may be extremely long depending on how much i feel like talking about so i apologize

spoilers inbound after this point!!

there are many, many reasons ive fallen in love with them and their dynamic, but ill try to condense them into a more readable format

the sections will be as follows:

 their parallels and how they compliment each other

their kindness and affection towards each other

how they treat the other differently to the others in the mansion

more surface level dynamic things i like

the things that got me attached to them in the first place

parallels!

i feel like every noelashe fan understands their parallels somewhat but im insane so im gonna go in depth

they match and contrast each other in so so many different ways, down to even design (i actually made a post about that before it shouldnt be too hard to find)

their personalities are one thing, energetic and tired, extroverted and introverted, loud and shy, cruel and kind, fake and genuine, manipulative and naïve, i could go on but thatd be WAY too long so i'll just mention these

but thats just on the surface, they actually match each other a LOT more than you think

how ashe is more introverted than what meets the eye, not liking people out of distrust, and noel being tons more talkative and social, adoring people and barely being able to hate anyone

noel being smarter than he appears, willing to lie and manipulate for what he wants, and ashe being really easy to fool sometimes, immediately believing anything he thinks can bring back his family

and of course the obvious, their wishes

the same wish, the same pain, they go through such similar trauma with different ways of dealing with it

or so you think, their coping is very similar and this is acknowledged in sirius's conclusion, the only real difference being if theyre violent or not. noel, has sworn off harming people but he's still not above using backhanded methods for his goals. ashe, despite doing awful things for his wants, still has noble(ish) reasons for why he does these things

neither are entirely innocent, but neither are completely guilty

they both just want the people they care for to live peacefully, alive

but both do some pretty fucked up things for this wish, noel lies to sirius and uses dorothy as a ploy, ashe well- i think we all know. ashe commits multiple varied crimes that range from theft to murder and noel's own negligence can be considered a crime in some cases.

they have an understanding no one else does and it creates a lot of interest towards them and develops them as individuals too

kindness

they care so much for each other its insane

noel has trouble seeing ashe as anything but kind and ashe cant help but feel attached to noel even if he doesnt want to, which makes them get close each time and it makes them feel for each other a LOT more than they need to

the times where noel is sick and ashe takes care of him, ashe saying he lied so noel wont feel bad, noel letting ashe confide in him and ashe even trusting him enough to say his worries in the first place, the list goes on

they just have an instant bond bc they want someone to care and help them (even if both have trouble admitting it) and they want to help each other, which just makes them care more

it always ends in kindness between the two and it's one of the ways we get a happy ending

special treatment

i could put this in the kindness section but i think it deserves its own section bc its so damn cute

it does have a little less to go over tho as it doesn't happen much

im also gonna start adding screenshots and such

noel seems to really admire ashe and his abilities so much more than anyone else its adorable

hes so amazed by him literally just cooking and he doesnt comment on anything to do with precise stuff that isnt smth ashe does, i may be wrong but i dont think ive ever seen him comment on smth like sirius drawing talismans which is highly specific but will ALWAYS think about how impressed he is with ashe

he also just

treats ashe in a similar way to claire, like he just casually says ashe saved him which is such a strong word to him with no thought and he LITERALLY SAYS HE TRUSTS HIM UNCONSCIOUSLY BC HE REMINDS HIM OF CLAIRE if that doesnt say smth i dont know what does

and ashe always opens up to noel so much more than anyone else like noel has gotten ashe to talk about himself unlike anyone else, the only other character he talked to about things was claire (technically sirius too but he was drunk off his ass so im not counting it) and that was like once he doesnt even say anything that isnt surface level

ashe also just refuses to harm noel and i dont think anyone has noticed this before

it makes sense if his killings are during the day bc noel literally just isnt there but some other times he has no excuse

HE MOVES TO THE SIDE HERE EVEN IF WHERE HE WAS STANDING GAVE HIM A CLEARER SHOT TO CLAIRE YOU CANT TELL ME IT WASNT SO HE DELIBERATELY MISSES NOEL

ALSO HE COULDVE TRIED AGAIN OR GONE AFTER HIM BUT NO HE JUST GOES "missed one!" AND CALLS IT A DAY IF THATS NOT PROOF HE DOESNT WANNA HURT NOEL I DONT KNOW WHAT IS

surface level things

as much as i love the incredible lengths of their relationship, i also like more simple things that im just gonna put into a little list

theyre so sun and moon guys

BLACK CAT AND GOLDEN RETRIEVER BFS

their color palettes look nice together

babygirl and wet cat

loves to cook and fucking awful at cooking

smartass x dumbass

mutual healing

their symbols being hearts and stars those look so cute together

"i care about you!!" "why??", mutually

little bitch and sweetheart

both are affectionate but neither can handle it

emotionally repressed x the one who wants them to grow again

bfs who rant about their interests

same trauma

very strange guy x doesnt care

"im a disgusting monster" "HOW?"

the black and white good evil thing is very aesthetically pleasing for them

angel and devil (kinda)

why i fell in love with them

theres a lot of reasons why i love them but theres a few very specific things that got me attached

most obvious is that theyre both my favorites, im extremely attached to ashe and i loved him from the start, i didnt start liking noel until a tiny bit later but he very quickly gained my love

i also relate to them both heavily so seeing them care so much for each other gave me comfort

its a huge pattern that most of my ships are of the character i got immediately attached to and relate to and other character i relate to who cares about the first character

the fate line. its just so gay i was like "thats kinda gay" and while i didnt always think of it like it was super important it always stuck in my head like "yeah i could ship them"

but the real thing that started this all was the wine scene

its when i realized how much they cared for each other and then the floodgates opened, and here we are now!!

its still by far my favorite scene of the two it just makes me so happy its so adorable

conclusion

i have an extreme love for noelashe and just seeing them can make my entire mood better

i dont think many people have analyzed them as much as me so its sad to see how much stuff with them goes unnoticed

theyre genuinely so great for each other, platonic, romantic or anything in between, they deserve to be happy with each other

im so sorry for this being so long and maybe really hard to understand but i adore them so much

if you read this all thank you so much!! have a great day

[disfrutalakia]

do you have any hcs for pac and mike post rescue? ive seen so little content about them after all the great lore so

Ohh!! So many!! Putting this under a read more just cause this will end up being a bit long lmao

For Pac: I talked about it briefly, but I do think he would now be scared of the dark, afraid even to close his eyes cause every time things go dark he could only see the room where he got locked up and hear the screams. He also is now scared of water, he fears being underwater (since we don't know how long he was there before being taken to that cage) and dreads the cold that comes with the sea, so you can imagine how much he tries to not look at the aquarium at his room (I think that either him or Mike would cover up the aquarium with some curtains, so if Pac ever does wants to look at the sea he can just open up the curtains). Also Pac has a tendency of pretending everything is fine, that he is happy and not suffering at all, he has always been expected to be the ray of sunshine of the group right? Mike was the one who let his emotions take over after all. If the person doesn't know him well, they wouldn't notice, but Mike does, he can see how his smile his carefully acted, how his hands are always shaking and above all he hears the screams Pac let out late at night when he succumbs to sleep and suffer from nightmares.

For Mike: He already feared being alone, but it got worse now, he is always looking behind him to see if Pac (and Richas) is there, sometimes being afraid that he won't be and that all the rescue will have been fake, that he failed to save his best friend, his blood is on his hands now. And although their mental link seen to have been connected again, I do think that on the day of the rescue he was deadly afraid that Pac was gonna shut him off for the rest of their lives, a part of his mind was afraid, afraid of his best friend being mad at him for not coming sooner (of course Pac wasn't, he didn't even expect someone to come for him at all). But even if he is over the moon with having Pac back, he also feels a bit lost, not knowing how to be the emotional support that Pac clearly needs, Mike is the one who is used to being emotional, to exploding and fucking things up while Pac supports him from afar, it's been that way since they were kids after all, but he is trying his best, even if he isn't good with words he is there by Pac side, holding him during nightmares and slowing his pace so Pac doesn't get too overwhelmed with everything.

Okay I think that's all!!! Love discussing headcanons!!! So happy that you asked about them anon!!!

[dinas-a-bird]

Heyyyy could you write Ellie x fem reader. Reader has an alcohol addiction and Ellie takes her to her first AA meeting? Ive been sober for a year today and its been rough and Ellie being a supportive gf is all anyone really wants :) if you dont feel comfortable writing it I fully understand

thank youuu :)

I'm really proud of you for being sober for one year thats amazing!!! I've struggled with addiction myself so I get how hard even getting to one year is. This ones for you my lovely anon 🥰

Breaking the Chain

Pairing: Ellie Williams x fem!reader

Warnings: alcoholism, addiction, fluff, Ellie being a good gf, modern AU

Summary: Ellie takes you to AA

Word Count: 784

A/N: Sorry for any spelling or grammar mistakes, thank you anon for the request!

Ellie and you had been dating for roughly three years, and you had just moved in together last week. Ellie knew that you enjoyed a drink or two, during dinner, parties, or just when relaxing, but it wasn't until you started living together that she realized how much you relied on alcohol to cope with stress and anxiety.

Ellie started to worry about your drinking quickly, so she brought it up with you. At first, you were defensive and dismissive, saying that you had everything under control. But it soon became clear that you didn't.

One night, you came home late from work, clearly drunk. Stumbling through the kitchen, knocking over a chair, you went to hug your girlfriend, Ellie could smell the alcohol on your breath.

She’s had enough.

"We need to talk," she says, pushing you off of her.

You sigh, clumsily picking up the collapsed chair and sitting down. "I know," you said. "I've been trying to quit, but it's harder than I imagined."

Ellie kneels down in front of you. "I'm here for you," she softly rests her hand on your knee. "We can do this together."

You hang your head. "I want to quit," you whisper. "I really do. But every time I try, I end up drinking again."

Ellie sees a tear fall from your eye. She knows that you're struggling, and she wants to help.

"Have you ever thought about going to Alcoholics Anonymous?" she asks.

You look up at her skeptically. "I don't know about that," you say. "I don't want to be one of those people who go to meetings all the time."

She lightly rubs your knee, "It's worth a try," she says. "It's a safe space where you can talk about your struggles and get support from people who understand what you're going through."

You think about it for a moment. "Okay," you finally say. "I'll go to one meeting with you, but that's it."

Ellie smiles. "That's all I'm asking for.”

The next week, you and Ellie head off to your first Alcoholics Anonymous meeting together. As you walk into the small, dimly lit room, you feel your nerves building. You don’t know what to expect, and you weren't sure if you were ready to open up about your struggles with addiction.

The group leader welcomes everyone and explains how the meeting is going to work. Then, she invites the attendees to introduce themselves and share their stories.

One by one, people stand up and talk about their experiences. Some had been sober for years, while others were new to the program. You listened carefully, feeling a sense of belonging with the other attendees.

When it is your turn to speak, you stand up slowly, taking a deep breath and looking around the room. "Hi, my name is y/n, and I'm an alcoholic.”

The words feel heavy in your mouth, but you managed to push through. “I have been drinking for as long as I can remember.” you take a deep breath before continuing. “It started with a few drinks after work, just to take the edge off. But before I knew it the few drinks after work turned into a few drinks too many, and then I couldn’t get through the day without the alcohol.”

Looking to your left you see Ellie with a sad smile on her face, she reaches up and takes your hand. You smile down at her before continuing. “I have tried to quit on my own… although it never lasted long… The cravings would come back, stronger and I would give in, telling myself that just… one more drink wouldn’t hurt.” Ellie softly squeezes your hand. “But it did hurt, not only me but my girlfriend. She would come home to me drunk on the couch and I could see the pain she held as she watched me slowly disappear due to my addiction.” Swallowing the lump in your throat you look down at your feet, “They say the first step is realizing you have a problem… I have a problem… and I want to try to get sober”

When the meeting was over, Ellie and you stayed behind to chat with some of the other attendees. You exchanged phone numbers and email addresses, you even found a sponsor, a guy named Jesse.

As you walk out of the meeting with Ellie, you feel a weight lifting off your shoulders. You turn to Ellie, "I never thought I'd say this, but I'm glad we went to that meeting together.”

Ellie smiles softly, giving you a kiss. "I'm proud of you," she leans into your side. "And I'm here for you every step of the way."

[1800duckhotline]

i feel like most horror fans can't go 5 minutes without being ableist in some fashion its so god damn hard to interact with people who like this genre too

it is maddening honestly like i think the horror of the lack of power that can come with disability is very real especially in our current society. it can be a good thing to talk about in a horror story. but god damn, like, referring to scarring and injuries and in general differences one can sustain irl as "Body horror" feels so detached from reality. i think so many people dont even stop to realize that it can be so dehumanizing to the disabled person affected, or people, lol. it's been definitely normalized to a very scary amount to regard realistic differences (especially in faces and heads) as body horror

and im not even referring to purposefully unrealistic exaggeration like idk, m/ndela catalogue's, bc that reaches a point where it's "fantastical" enough or cartoony to be like yeah ok, this is body horror because it goes beyond what human limits are like. but burn victims, people who sustain injuries from acid, and in general people with different facial conformations which can be results of genetics or illnesses are not body horror and require as much respect/awareness as your average person. like i would imagine it feels othering

tho i speak from the pov of someone who's been living with a disabled person for years now, and while i dont have that specific kind of situation myself, i've become more sensitive to this stuff lol anyways youre right anon. sorry for the ramble. but its unfortunately true.

in the specific topic of m/uthw/shing, taking aside what i think of curly's personality and attitude pre-crash, post-crash he is disabled... and part of the point of the game is how this condition of his is taken advantage of while he cannot do anything himself as an amputee because he is, realistically, still suffering his injuries!! jimmy being a dick is part of the point but with this & other topics ill reserve myself from rambling about it feels like people are just not understanding the story at all!! like, the least you could do is not dehumanize curly (and fairly enough most people ive seen don't do this, but it takes me so little for me to be pissed off lately. this is why i try to not tag my posts so people dont see them). bare minimum. the bar is in hell dude

[ssseriema]

Righty so ive been seeing your lifesteal art for a while and I made the decision at the immaculate hour of 12:14 at night to watch it, but I’ve got no clue how to start. Do you have any recommendations of who to watch/where to start/where to watch it etc. and also what it’s about, that would be swell too.

thanks! :]

IM LATE ANON SORRY ABT THAT uhmmmmm. so the lifesteal smp is a server where if you die you loose a permanent heart off your health bar and if you kill someone you gain a heart (hence the stealing part). think, life series if seasons went on for months. alliances are made, broken, treasured, people are killed. all the good stuff.

starting lifesteal smp can be a little overwhelming because theres so many people but you just gotta choose a pov and run with it. also keep in mind that it doesnt have life series/hermitcraft style of progression as the episodes are more like highlights of what happens in the server. i would recommend starting with the season 3 videos since imo its the easiest season to start with. my personal pov recommendations are here

princezam: hes silly reddoons: hes awesome rekrap: hes also awesome vitalasy: hes also silly clownpierce: hes a clown who can kill people

sometimes content creators wont have their videos organized, but theres playlists out there that compile videos from each season

most livestreams post season 3 are archived too in case you eventually wanna watch those, because sometimes theres lore sprinkled in there(very time consuming though). season 5 started a bit ago and most members to my knowledge are finished with their season 4 videos, so you can also start with those too if you want. season 2 is also good (i started there!!)

also just a side note but members put so much effort into yt vids and thats why sometimes theyll take a while to come out. editing in some of these videos go SOOOO HARD OHHHGH MY GODDD(thinking roshambogames)

lifesteal smp comes FREE with EVERY DISEASE!!!!

I HOPE THIS WAS SOMEWHAT HELPFUL:D SORRY FOR LONG POST

[prisonguards]

FR!!! Like oh my GOD I didnt even ship smallidarity before likeeeee I was just your average flower husbands fan, and I wanted to stick hard to the whole boundary compliance thing because I was part of dsmp twt for a year and. Well. That should say enough, iykyk. But then Joel just kept obsessing over Jimmy, Jimmy kept simping for Joel, and then the entire thing with the "he's just sooo cuuuute" and "can we just compare the size difference again, its my favorite thing ever" and whatever the fuck fixating on the noise Jimmy made was and it was like. Well. Bro. BRO. THEEEEN the having a CHILD together thing happened and I just fell into shipping them immediately from E2 alone. And now I'm watching E1 and I'm gonna rewatch 100h hardcore because your blog has just made it Worse.

This has been an entire tangent but the tldr is I didn't ship smallidarity until Joel was absolutely unbearable and obvious over just how much the cuteness aggression he gets over Jimmy Gets To Him.

Also I see your tags and I bring you this: in watching E1, am I insane or is the whole "Katherine was his first ally but I am his BEST ally, I will call her a coward and get genuinely angry at her for not going to the lengths I will to protect Jimmy" give off possessiveness. Not possessiveness as in jealousy, ownership, or anything like that but more in the sense that he takes great pride in being the one who takes care of Jimmy best, so to speak and to be the one who protects him when he needs it. This isn't really related at all to what you said but I'm doing my best and it's 6 AM as I write this, I have not slept and I should cut myself off before I spout even more nonsense.

- life series anon

ANON I LUV YOU AUSGEUE. I hope you get some good sleep friend aaueghd

I think that happened to a lot of people :3 smallidarity like was ramping up all season thanks to enemies to lovers being such a popular trope/dynamic but its Exploded in popularity lately and Im so thankful for that!!! whether it be from Joels fawning or their. insanity inducing innuendoes. the more fans the merrier ^—^

IM SO GLAD MY MADNESS HAS GOTTEN U TO WANNA REWATCH 100 HOURS :3c !!! its a comfort series for me for sure. and the episodes with Jimmy in them are. absolutely the best. ep 4 is one of my favorite episodes of anything ever. and if you want more Joel fawning over Jimmys cuteness…

YESSSSSS YES.. I ADORE THEM IN EMP S1!!! their dynamic is so unique there because of how wholly and overwhelmingly soft/positive it is. theyre allies from the start and BEST allies… auuughh.. yesshh Joel gets sooo defensive over Jimmy in s1 its beautiful. how quick he is to go absolutely murder mode for Jimmy. but how quick he is to be soft for him too. SIGGHHHHH. its my dream fr. the possessiveness.. YES.. theyre just SO important to eachother and it drives me crazy. he treats Jimmy so special. the way that he has little rooms for just Jimmy and Lizzie in his palace… the special roles they both hold… his wife and his best friend… there is def such a special connection there. and the possessiveness, Jimmy has so many more allies and close allies than Joel does. Joel just enforcing and affirming his station and specialness to Jimmy every once and a while.. by insulting his other allies augshs.. augh.. I just love them

also, for anyone else mulling over boundaries still; if you want specifics he just said he finds it “a bit weird” and iirc he didnt really say you cant do it. he just doesnt get it cause hes such a wifeguy. if youre concerned you can still tag it properly/keep it out of main tags. but if he was Really upset by it he would Not be encouraging and escalating it, and making the jokes he does, and putting them in his videos, and liking comments people make about them, and the tweets he makes, and and and and… if people are harassing u on behalf of him, they dont really care about what hes comfortable with, they just wanna punch down at someone. I get wanting to be respectful, but Ive also seen it used for such cruelty 💔 so I think the most important thing to keeping everyone, including the creators themselves, happy is to keep things to the right tags and spaces and being kind to yourself and others and blocking what you need and keeping out of peoples business.

[m1ckeyb3rry]

No way that’s actually so cool…. that mindset is actually just really impressive to me because if I was not as interested in something I feel like instead I’d just be less motivated to make it a masterpiece! You COOKED for your event fr I got converted via your event and works generally into liking or even just appreciating some characters more (I’m ngl I think white butterfly was one of my favs too something about the story was just so >>>>> started my conversion to Hiorism and my spiral into your masterlists I live for fwtkac saga though for obv reasons LMAO)

Bro I was literally reading through your work like SHE TOOK THE ASSIGNMENT SERIOUSLY??? STOP BC THE SOCCER PLAYER EGO AND RELIGIOUS TRAUMA IGAGURI??? Goodbye those plots cook I CANNOT see igaguri pulling someone….omg imagine bestie Noel??? Stop that dynamic would be too funny. Also! About neutrality you’re doing like. Too good of a job. It’s been awhile but as I mentioned before I found peregrine a looong time ago and then came back to it but besides that I think cherry tree was one of the other first works of yours I read? This was all before I put the pieces together that you wrote everything LMAO but I enjoyed both sm and I definitely couldn’t tell you didn’t like Rin as much LOL

LITERALLY the worst is when I have to write something like an essay or report on spot like ok get ready for an entire evolution of my thoughts then because we are not ending where we started LMAO

There’s SOOO many possibilities please BLLK managers I’m begging you to take this marketing opportunity…please….Ive seen some series make some not great business decisions imo so please don’t be one of them!! We NEED ego origin story at some point or another like…you also can’t just drop that symbolism in his volume cover and now elaborate anything

FR honestly I think we just have to wait for s2 hype kinda like jjk…I don’t expect it to be the same degree but something similar because it’s reaaallly popular in Japan right now and even Asia in general sooooo

PLEASE KARASU DESERVES ONE TOO!! With all the Karasu we’ve seen lately there’s gotta be some awakening/evolution coming soon…

UHHSHEHSH I think it is my app…I tried looking at other profiles and some work and some don’t….??? I can’t find a specific trend but idk I’ll do the usually on off delete app or something shshshgsshhs but THANK YOUUU that would be much appreciated!!! Sorry for having to go through you to ask LOL

**this is so random but ok so I type out all my asks in a separate note so I don’t accidentally lose everything if I close tumblr but I have no idea how to do strikethrough here so I usually wait to do it on tumblr so I put quotation marks to remind myself but I forgot to go back and do that for my last ask I mean to strikethrough itoshi hate but now it’s just sitting as quotation marks SHSGGSSH in my mind ik it’s not a big deal but it doesn’t capture the same vibe ugh….anyways just thought I should mention that cause it also looks weird just as it is now oops

-Karasu anon

THANK YOUUU there’s def times when a character is hard for me…for some reason i have the MOST trouble writing isagi??? idek why he’s a relatively simple character but i just cannot get into a mindset where i can write for him which is crazy 😭 the most i could do is have him be a side love interest i think (like a pi inumaki and tullia variant) but it’s crazy because he’s so popular and also just such a random character to find difficult to write for 😓

from just a writing standpoint white butterfly and the instrument are my favs!! from an enjoyment standpoint though fwtkac is the winner it was just so fun LMAOO…the way i still have a couple of requests left from that event is insane though 😭💔 i thought i’d be done by now tbh 😩 actually ykw if karasu’s version of bfb didn’t end up so long i bet i WOULD be done already!! but i’m in sooo deep now 😋 i can’t wait to finish and post it AHH it’s taking me a bit but i am determined i will get it out soon!!

HAHAHA IF YOU GIVE A MOUSE A COOKIE…pls soccer player ego who slowly drives away everyone he loves by going insane over his failure to be a striker + sarcastic deadpan bestie noa who does his best to comfort you but lowkey can’t would be an insanely fun combo!! and omg pls i can’t imagine igaguri pulling either 😰 it would be such a majestic heartbreaking fic and then you’d be reminded that it’s abt IGAGURI of all people and it’s just like WHY 😭 like a reverse crack fic HDKDJSJ

OKAY YAYYY i’m glad that it doesn’t come through!! especially with a request event i don’t want to make anyone sad by hating on their favs/doing a shitty job when they came to me and asked me to write for them yk?? ofc there’s a difference in word count and all (cherry tree being like 6k words roughly vs fwtkac being…well. you know.) but not in quality!! at least that’s the goal 😄

KANESHIRO KEEPS DROPPING THREADS ABT RANDOM STUFF AND THEN NOT ELABORATING!! like anri?? ego and noa?? whatever happened to sae?? WILDCARD?? i actually don’t mind bllk’s pacing tbh (it’s torturous when chapters are releasing but super good on reread imo) but there’s so many questions i needddd answered ASAP ✅ GET ME ON THE EXEC BOARD JUST TO APPROVE THESE SPIN-OFFS FR

i agree it’s rlly popular in asia and it’s also in a good spot because it’s kind of a blend of a typical battle shounen and sports anime (like jjk and haikyuu [never watched hq but i generally know of it]) so it can attract a diverse audience…once the battle shounen girlies give it a chance it’ll become sooo much more popular!! ik initially i was hesitant because i’m not hugely into sports so i thought it’d be boring but it’s rlly different and i obviously ended up loving it!! so hoping more people try it out and end up in that same spiral

THERE’S NO WAY WE’RE NOT GETTING SMTH he’s been featured heavily in epinagi AND keeps making cameos ik my man has GOT to be cooking because no way he’s going to end the game doing nothing…personally still holding onto the hope that he shidou and zantetsu link up to break their formation free from kunigami as that could get karasu some bonuses in terms of his offer as well as putting the focus on shidou and kunigami who are two SUPER unexplored characters that have a very shared/intertwined backstory which could then be elaborated upon!! but we shall see…atm the game is very rin kaiser isagi focused so who knows

HAHAH NEVER FEAR!! she gave me pinterest links but ngl one of them wasn’t working sooo i used one to go to the artist’s page on twitter/x/wtvr it’s called and found the art she mentioned!! here’s the link…it actually is really majestic although unfortunately i cannot read the little notes written on it 😩

LMAOOO omg don’t worry the quotation marks still got the message across fine!! and that makes sm sense bruh tumblr is so unreliable at times 😰

[icarusbuck]

do u ever just think about 911 and the incredible stories they've told and the sheer number of people you've met because you decided to watch it one day?

do u ever think abt how many people decided to get back into art, writing, reading, and so much more because of one tv show?

have u stopped and taken a step back lately, taken in the scope of the show from its inception til now, and just... appreciated how much love and growth and connections have been made; not just the characters, but the show itself, how its not only grown legs but started to walk?

i feel like ive said it a lot, and seen it said, that 911 isnt just a show to me, and in these post-season-finale days it's like it's being drilled into me. whether or not you like every single plot or character arc, you really can't deny the amount of thought and care has gone into these characters.

i mean, just the fact we got an eddie begins before a buck begins - that they were willing to postpone one of these foundation episodes for a character who's been there from the start, simply because they wanted to do it justice - to me that just shows how much attention they give to these characters in the writers room. it's not a single episode that matters, it's all of the episodes, the experiences that shape and inform these characters and bring them to life on screen

and im going to get on my soapbox here for just a second but... if you cant see that? if your sole enjoyment of this incredibly crafted show hinges on whether two people get together? if you have to go running to any blog that will listen just for some reassurance that someone else out there has doubts?

man, idk how to tell you this, but maybe you should take a breath. try to remember what you liked about the show before you shipped anyone at all.

ok now im hopping off my soapbox and if i get any anons questioning my ships ill direct u to my ao3 tyvm

[niskoo]

Memories kept in the pink hoodie

pairing: Ex! Heeseung x reader

genre: angst, fluff in the end ig, breakup! AU

warnings: swearing, uhhh they like break down together

word count: 2.2k words OMG

a/n: another one of my requests!! thank you all for the ideas its really helping!! mmm this one was very interesting to write because i usually write crack/fluff, aaannndd ive literally never done anything ive written IURHWIU thank you for the great idea anon <33 THIS HELPED SO MUCH OMG USUALLY MY ANGST SUCKS BUT IM PRETTY PROUD OF THIS AAAA ALSO IM SORRY IF THIS WASNT REALLY WHAT YOU WANTED IDK THERE ALWAYS HAS TO BE FLUFF IN MY IMAGINES IG 😓😭

feel free to request and help get rid of my writers block!!

a bit based off of 'try again' by jaehyun and d.ear

You should've known the consequences of dating an idol, you should've been careful. Of course they wouldn't let you be together, he's in one of the rising groups, heck, he was in one of the biggest companies.

It wasn't necessarily the company's fault you were so heartbroken, it's both your faults. You couldn't help but blame each other for how careless you were. You know better than to make things worse, and yet you did.

The evening you go back to his dorm after being confronted by the company, you two started a huge argument of who's fault it was. Either it was his fault for not taking caution during work, or your fault for always checking up on him. All loving actions in the past became reasons for why you should break up, thus cracking your relationship further.

When you went home that night, with your backpack full of your things, you did nothing. You didn't cry, you didn't rage, you simply thought that this was the end, you felt guilty that it had to end like this, instead of just working it out and breaking it off peacefully.

Your heart was left cracked and hurt for sure, but this time, you blame yourself. You shouldn't have met him, you shouldn't have got to know him, it's all your fault. And for the first time that night, you cry.

Your heart clenched at every thought of having to leave Heeseung, more tears falling at the fact that he's not gonna be a part of your life anymore. He's gone, and it's all your fault.

It's when you unpack your things when you realize you still have a bunch of things left at his place, you realize you never want to go back and face him.

You leave your stuff there for the next 2 days, your heart still unready to confront and be reminded of the fact that Heeseung is gone. Unfortunately, he has other plans.

Your phone lights up, and the last name you want to see is lighting the phone up.

'Hey... you left some of your stuff.'

You instantly turn your phone off, breaths picking up as you quickly look away from it and finish your lunch. You can feel the anxiety filling your body as you notice it light up once again, and it swarms in your chest even more when your mother winces at the next text.

You put down your spoon, quickly glancing at the text.

'If you want, you can come by and pick them up? I'll pack them for you...'

Your heart clenches yet once again, you know it's true, literally half your stuff is still there and you have to pick them up. You unlock your phone, quickly sending an 'okay' before completely shutting your phone down. You wouldn't stand a second more looking at his contact.

You decide to go at 11, because that's when the other members are at the company training. You don't know if Heeseung's gonna be there to give you your things, a part of you hopes he is, another hopes he's not there. But then again, who else would open the door for you?

You stand outside the familiar door nervously, picking on your nails and the lint on the hem of your cardigan. Just as you were about to knock, the door swung open, and instead of your ex boyfriend standing there it's the youngest of the group, his eyes wide and puffy lips parted.

As usual, he woke up late. You can't help but chuckle as he picks his shoes up and scurries down the stairs, bidding him a friendly goodbye.

You almost forget about Heeseung, but as you hear shuffling from inside, it all comes back.

You two share awkward glances, the tension slowly building itself back up. Instead of the heated, rage filled tension, this time the tension is guilty, and without each other knowing, yearning.

“T-this way,” Heeseung mutters tightly, eyes glued to the ground as he shuffled quickly to the living room. You follow along just a few seconds later, still processing the fact that this is the end. He could be gone out of your life after this, it’s your last chance to speak.

Your eyes slowly travel up when you stop, the beating of your heart quickening with the slight burning in your eyes. Lo and behold, there your things laid, ready for you to bring back home. You can’t help but notice how it’s packed completely how Heeseung would pack, neat and with care. It’s not too stuffed, it’s in the perfect place.

Biting at the dead skin of your lip, you trudge towards the duffle bag—his duffle bag—and kneel down to grab the handle. The moment you pick it up, you notice how the bag isn’t fully zipped, and a certain pink sleeve peaks out from the tiny space.

All too familiar, the pink sleeve was. It was the one he took from Daniel in I-land. He knew you loved it, for you loved the kid like your little brother. But, he can’t. It’s his, it’s his favorite, he can’t just give it to his ex.

You instantly place the bag down, the tears starting to well up in frustration and sadness. You zip open the bag and take the pink hoodie out, before shoving it into Heeseung’s chest, “Take it, Heeseung, Please don’t give it to me.”

It takes him a few moments, before Heeseung is shaking his head and handing it back to you. “No, it’s practically yours anyway. And you really like it right? It’s just a-“

“Don’t tell me it’s just a hoodie!”

You both are shocked at your sudden burst, frozen in your spot. Your breathing is heavy, like a weight is holding it down and slowing your breathing. There are tears keeping your cheek moist, warm, they stream down continuously, the sensation as if there was fire dripping from your eyes and burning your skin.

Heeseung’s just on the verge of crying himself, the grip on the pink hoodie deathly, he feels the material ripping against his skin. How did it come to this? When did it even happen? It all feels surreal, to think what you two had could fall apart.

All the happy moments in your relationship fading to memories, the hoodie representing the fact itself is true. None of you wanted to take it, afraid it would remind you of the other.

Deep down, you wanted to keep it, keep the memories it held, keep the tears that once soaked it when you vented all your stress to him, keep the scent of Heeseung that lingered on the fabric. You were just too afraid of being reminded that along with the happy memories, came the sad memories of the night you fought and broke it off.

Your grip on the poor hoodie eases, as you slide to the floor helplessly with tears messing your face up. You desperately wanted to hold the pink piece of clothing and keep it forever, and another part of you cursed at you for being too vulnerable.

Your hand quickly wipes away the tears on your cheeks and chin harshly, almost hitting yourself for being so sensitive. Before you could do the action again, a softer grasp is stopping your hand, Heeseung’s other hand reaching up to brush the tears away dearly, blowing your hair away from your face.

Before you could even bring yourself to stop, you’re already reacting to his touch, cowering into his hold and placing your hand over his on your cheek, almost intertwining them together.

“I’m sorry,” you whisper into his palm, your other hand reaching up to grasp at his t-shirt. You’re sorry for so many reasons, for not being careful, for all the things you said in the argument, for making a sudden commotion just because of a stupid hoodie. “I’m so sorry...”

“Shh, it’s alright, it’s alright.” Heeseung grabs you into his infamous embrace you would hate to leave, stroking your back with patterns just the way he knew you loved, just the way it would calm you down. “We’ll be alright.”

More tears fall between your eyelashes, dripping and soaking into Heeseung’s shoulder as he himself sniffles quietly into your hair. None of you want to leave each other behind, it’s the painful truth that you both can’t have, the truth you’ve always feared.

A sudden feeling of relief fills you up inside, his words reassure you in a way, we’ll be alright, you’ll be okay, it just had to leave his lips for you to believe it. You crawl closer to Heeseung, squeezing yourself in his bear hug, “We’ll be okay, we can make it right,”

A hoarse and hearty laugh leaves Heeseung, it shakes right by your ear as you press it against his chest, and he nods, “Yeah,”

He gently pulls your head back right in front of his, wiping the last of your tears and tucking the stray hairs back to the back of your ear, “Let’s just talk,” his whisper tickles your nose, causing you to lightly giggle at the feeling, his lips pressing softly against the pink tinted skin, “Make everything better?”

You nod, finally grasping at the pink hoodie and holding it tight to your chest as Heeseung laughs and bonks his forehead right on yours.

For the next few hours, you talk, make up, talk some more, maybe even a small cuddle, but that’s a secret. You make ramen for when the other members come back from practice, you feel happy to see the members thank you and eat with enthusiasm, you feel glad this is how your last moments together last.

Now you have the (practically ripped) pink hoodie in your arms as you bid the boys goodbye, slightly tearing up at the sight of them sadly waving, but you keep it in and continue your way back home, where you would tell your mom how you ended it on good terms.

And that night, you slip on the pink hoodie before you sleep, and you feel a piece of paper poking at your arm. You’re surprised to see a crumpled envelope poking out, your name written messily in blue ink.

You pull the envelope out quickly, opening it out with something bubbling in the pit of your stomach as you notice the handwriting as Heeseung’s.

‘My dear Y/n,

Hello there! I don’t know if i got the guts to make it right with you or if i pussied out and watched you as you drove away with regrets, but that’s what this letter is for. hopefully you didn’t throw this letter away hehe

i just wanted to thank you. for everything. your love, your care, your trust, Your happiness, thank you for everything you’ve given me. im sorry we had to end our journey, but know that you’ll be in my mind everyday. when we practice, I’ll remember your encouraging smile, when we win, I'll remember the fact that it’s you who gave me the courage to start this whole career.

i love you y/n. we’ll both probably find our other person in the future, but you’ll forever be in my heart as my first love, my first heartbreak, my best memory. thank you for helping me through my hardest times, thank you for helping the other boys through their worst times, especially jungwon, he’ll miss you the most.

i guess this is goodbye, y/n. not forever, of course, but for some time. thank you for everything, i hope you enjoyed the times we had together as much as i did.

with all the love in my heart,

Lee Heeseung :)’

You wipe at your tears for the nth time that day, folding the paper back into the envelope. “Fuck you Heeseung, you’ve ruined my makeup again!” You curse under your breath as you slip the letter into a certain box at the corner of your bedside table, patting your cheeks one last time.

You truly cherish the memories you had with Heeseung. You hope he does too.

[k3rm1e]

hiihi !! ive been loving all the stuuf yoube been wirting latley its so good :^D i ws wondering if i ciuld have some hcs ,or just a onrshot either or i dont mind, of reader geeting sick and mumza nd dadza take care of them ?? bc i lovr mr and mrs minecraft <33 liek like reader like "ahh im finr mr minecraft" and they have 102° fever Nd have a runny nose and mr minecatft is liek "mmm no i dont thnik so m8" nd yaeh !! they/them pronouns but i thnk uve benn doing that arleady - :^) anon

sickly

hiihi !! ive been loving all the stuuf yoube been wirting latley its so good :^D i ws wondering if i ciuld have some hcs ,or just a onrshot either or i dont mind, of reader geeting sick and mumza nd dadza take care of them ?? bc i lovr mr and mrs minecraft <33 liek like reader like "ahh im finr mr minecraft" and they have 102° fever Nd have a runny nose and mr minecatft is liek "mmm no i dont thnik so m8" nd yaeh !! they/them pronouns but i thnk uve benn doing that arleady - :^) anon

:^) anon my beloved;;;;; i love your brain. this could go two ways depending on whether you’re staying with phil or if you guys are online so i went with your staying with him. i also did a one shot but if you want hcs i hv no problem writing some :) i hope this is good!

cw: cursing

mumza and dadza take care of you:

  it had finally happened. while covid wasn't fully over just yet, many had gotten the vaccine and conventions were opening up again. which meant two things: meetups and twitchcon. finally, you could meet some of your supporters and see your friends.

  “mom, are we almost there?” your mom was driving you to the airbnb you’d be staying at with a few of the other dream smp members. at first, you assumed you’d all be staying in separate hotel rooms. but, this way, you could spend more time with friends, save money, and your mom wouldn’t have to be with you the whole time. there had already been many long conversations between philza and your mom to make sure you’d be safe staying with everyone.

  “yes, sweetie. almost there. we’re just two minutes closter than when you asked earlier.” ok, sue you, maybe you were a bit excited. but really, who could blame you? making in person friends had never been easiest, so the majority of your friendship were with people online. not being able to see or meet anyone for so long had been excruciatingly painful. 

  within ten minutes, you had finally arrived at the airbnb. quickly jumping out you ran to the door, obnoxiously ringing the doorbell. through the door, you heard an accented voice yell out, “i’m coming, i’m coming!”. at this point you were springing up and down on your tippy-toes, ready to spring out of your skin.

  the door opened and you were greeted by a very tired and annoyed looking wilbur, “hello?”.

`   “WILBURRRR!!!” you were screaming in his face (unintentionally), waking him up from his drowsiness. you launched yourself in his arms, not paying attention to your mother’s bewildered expression. you quickly let go of him and shoved past him, “i’m gonna go say hi to everyone!” distantly you heard wilbur begin to talk to your mother, explaining what you guys were doing.

  while running around you said hi to tommy, tubbo, ranboo, eret, fundy, niki, techno, phil and kristin. the others were either staying in another airbnb or in their own hotel rooms. after about thirty minutes, wilbur had finally stopped talking to your mom.

  “yes, ma’am. i can promise you they’ll be completely safe. you have absolutely nothing to worry about.” wilbur was calmly talking with your mother, looking more and more tired by the minute.

  “alright. thank you.” your mother called you over. “come give me a hug and say bye!” slowly dragging your limbs over, you let her hug you. behind you you could hear wilbur and phil laughing at you.

  “bye mom…” she was holding onto you tightly, petting down your hair.

  “oh, sweetie, i love you so much. i’m so happy you found something you're passionate about and made so many lovely friends while doing so.” as much as you loved your mom, the small snickers behind you were getting quite embarrassing. you could hear that tommy had joined in on the laughing. 

  “... i love you too, mom. can you let go now?” you tried pulling back, but all she did was pull you closer.

  “oh, but i just don’t wanna let you go. i love you so much, you know that right?”

  “i know, mom. i love you too. but you’ve gotta get home and i have to unpack and get ready for meeting with fans tomorrow.” you finally got her to pull away, “i love you mom, okay? thank you for letting me do this.”

  “oh, i love you too, sweetie.” and with that, your mom left. after watching her pull out of the driveway and down the street, you whipped around.

  “not. a. single. word.” you stared dead in the boy’s eyes, seeing just how much wilbur was about to burst out laughing.

  “what? personally, i think it’s very sweet.” tommy was smiling, purposely pissing you off. “so sweet, how much your mom loves you.”

  “shut your fucking mouth, tommy.” you stared deadpan at him and began walking inside and over to the kitchen.

  “what? i didn’t say anything wrong! i was just simply commenting on your very, very sweet relationship with your mother.”

  kristin moved forward to talk to you, “for what it’s worth, i do thing you hae a very sweet relationship with your mom.”

  “thank you. you’re the only good one in this house, kristin minecraft.” with that she laughed, and you all continued on with your evening. after staying up late watching old youtube videos, you all went to bed. in the morning you would have your first day of three at twitchcon, meeting fans and other creators alike. 

  for around 10 hours, you stood in booths signing fanart, prints, notebooks, and the like. meeting so many different people was eye opening, just learning who supported you. at the end of the day everyone went to a restaurant to eat dinner after so long.

  “this food… is so… fucking good.”

  “agreed.” you and the rest of the so-called ‘bench trio’ were eating at what wilbur had deemed the ‘kiddy table’. after eating so much food you were all tired. the rest of your friends had already left, walking back to the airbnb. when it was finally time to leave the restaurant, it was pouring rain.

  “WHY IS THE RAIN SO COLD IT’S LITERALLY SUMMER”

  after running home you had gone to sleep while the others had changed and taken showers. after sleeping for around ten hours, you had finally woken up. frankly, you felt like dogshit. you could barely breathe out of your stuffy nose and your head felt like it had been shoved full of wet cotton balls.

  instead of staying in bed, you got up and tried to get ready. on the way downstairs to get food and see who was making so much noise, you fell face first down the stairs. “owwwww…”

  hearing a ruckus, phil and kristin left the kitchen, where they were making pancakes. “holy shit! are you alright, mate?”

  pushing phil over, kristin walked over to you, “obviously they’re not okay phil! the poor kid is lying on the floor.”

  slowly getting up, you try to reassure both of them that you’re okay. “no, no, no, don’t worry. i am perfectly okay.” while you don’t know exactly how you sound, based on the expression on phil’s face, you don't think you sound very good.

  “uh, yeah, how about no. you sound like you’ve draken a whale bottle of vodka.” phil walked over to you and grabbed you by the arm, trying to hold you up.

  “i’m fineeee”

  “no, your fucking not. you’re burning up.” phil looked at you, angrily. “you need to go to bed.”

  “but i don’t wannaaaaa. i feel fineeee.” you felt like crying, for absolutely no reason. with that, you passed out on the floor.

  phil and kristin somehow managed to get you back up the stairs and into bed. once you were safely in your room, with no risk of cracking your skull open, phil took your temperature. “mate, your temperature is at nearly 102°. you’re lucky i don’t take you to a hospital.” he started at you, disapprovingly.

  “i’m sorryyyyy dadza. are you mad at me?” in your deluded state you pouted at him, like a child.

  “no, i’m not mad at you. just disappointed. you should’ve known not to do that. you’re old enough to know when you’re sick.” he stared at you with a disapproving look.

  “but that’s even worseeeeee” you felt like balling your eyes out. out of embarrassment, you tried to hide under your blanket. “can you tell mumza i’m sorry for worrying her?”

  above you, you heard phil laugh. “it’s not that big a deal, kid. i’m just upset. you could’ve seriously hurt yourself. i was worried.”

  “you were worried about me? awwwww, i love you too dadza.” you moved your head out of the blankets, smiling at him with dried tears and sweat on your face.

  “yeah, yeah. now shut up and go to bed.”

  kristin walked in, hearing what he said. “phil, don’t bully the kid. they already feel like shit.” out of the corner of your eye, you saw her look over to phil and smile at him.

  “i’m not doing anything, swear on my life!” he put his hands up in defense of himself, making you laugh.

  turning away from him, she directed her next question towards you. “how you feeling, kid? took quite a tumble there.” she smiled at you and ushed your hair out of your face.

  “i’m sorry for worrying youuuuuu. i love you, mumza. promise.”

  laughing, she leaned down to kiss you on the head. “love you too, kid. now, want me to sit with you and we can all watch some netflix or something?”

  you silently nodded and the two of them joined you on the bed, not caring very much if they got sick. after not even an hour, you all passed out.

  a few hours later, everyone returned back from the convention. let’s just say wilbur now had some very valuable blackmail.

hope you like it! this was so wholesome i- wfowcsjvri

i want parents like dadza and mumza now