#ive done Investing im so sorry. i hope you have it in your heart to forgive me. i dont know what got to me

[clearallcathy]

its really fucked up that i know things about finance now

[just-some-random-blogger]

part 2 you were waiting for lifetime for! (hope no) ig ive told abt all the big things so now im gonna go for the text. oh! and!! a moodboard TT youre so sweet TT i appreciate the amount of efforts you make for this🥺 it expresses the events really good! oh no another thing!! the previous life references from the reader! love them. the portrait and all lines she say to aemond (a lil stupid though bc? he knows nothing and not connected with this but ok) and king? love targ brothers interactions sm! vissys presence makes so much sense (beside developing the plot). it feels so much more complete w/him. have only realised it. AEMOND WAITING FOR AEGON AT NIGHT TT WHY so cute??? TT like they bicker and almost fight over a woman but hes still waiting for his bro TT it made me cry rn. also this little feeling of woe between them while theyre talking abt the woman theyre both pining after and whos never to be with either of them... WHINING DRUNK DAEMON TT im a simp. can imagine his glossy eyes and smudged kisses on whatever skin he can find bc of the yearning for close proximity. love it, so soft so tender so A. but his greezy ass😡 thanks again for not making it nsfw. i love how she rejects his flirting GHHDHD she needs to preserve her maidenhood till the wedding night, after all. (sorry IK its bad, sorry:( ) and daemon doing sports! i love this detail that shows that hes really from a royal family and has duties and had an education and these royal hobbies (ig?). DAEMON CALLING READER PRINCESS. you probably didnt mean it but i do see it as the reference to her actually being his wife who has his royal title. “Then why won’t you let me put a dragonling in you?” 1) i snorted. 2) it made me think. its ok with your point of view. but since ive seen the beginning as reader dying during the labour, i though she might be frightened of actually getting pregnant? yes its been 2000 years but. she not likely got pregnant throughout this time. 'not liking his indirect insinuation of weakness' GASLIGHT GATEKEEP GIRLBOSS YES!! love her. the domestic atmosphere of their interactions is making me smile so softly. AND daemon caring about wifes well-being in the first place after shes gone? equals him being smug before. OH AND IM THE GOVERNMENT JFHCXJSDJ weve talked abt it so it was cute to find it in the fic. youre such a sweety<з STILL pretty awkward interactions with aemond make my heart clench. hes so timid and so emo for this. understandable that 1) he respects his professor 2) hes in love w/her 3) thus he wants her to be happy and hes the type to let her go find her happiness in another place 4) hes suspicious. but so emo TT and your intro to the 'investigation' (hope im not saying some ridiculous shit to you)! this book intrigues. and now im really inerested if shes gonna tell aemond anything. bc she like had intention to do so?... im intrigued. so THE king coming to the museum. its interesting how hes so calm and thoughtful(?) and its relieving how hes so protective of his brother. even if hes against the wedding and dont know this woman, he knows his brother is in love and goes crazy bc of her so hes being the real kepa and going and trying to solve it all. i also see them having a nice conversation with logic, calmness, respect and all and daemon rushing in and ruining it by screaming smth like 'fckng viserys i love her'. also. i always read the last line before reading smth. and i was so amused by seeing aegons plain and loosey text to aemond. theyre so bros here i love them TT overall, this part was more about daemon, domestic interactions, spoilers(?) of forthcoming events and symbols so no tears. (NOT a dare) im very proud of you for writing so much. i appreciate your efforts soso much! and oh how big brained r u in this part! ig all your plans were given the greatest expression and a start! youve done SOSO good! thank u so much for the time, thoughts and hard work you invest in this! hope youre proud of yourself as well. bc you deserve it. you and your fics deserve much more love than tumblr can ever provide. take care! love you<з

YAY P2

part 2 you were waiting for lifetime for! (hope no) ig ive told abt all the big things so now im gonna go for the text. oh! and!! a moodboard TT youre so sweet TT i appreciate the amount of efforts you make for this🥺 it expresses the events really good!

i didnt think you would make a p2 anymore so this is GAHHH <3 <3 im glad you like the moodboard!!! i love it too!!!! <3 i love making moodboards T_T <3 it really helps set the mood for me <3 hehe HAHAH

oh no another thing!! the previous life references from the reader! love them. the portrait and all lines she say to aemond (a lil stupid though bc? he knows nothing and not connected with this but ok)

T_T HAHAHAHAHHHAAHAHAHAH so mean to aemond HAAHHAHah but im glad you enjoy the references to yns old life

and king? love targ brothers interactions sm! vissys presence makes so much sense (beside developing the plot). it feels so much more complete w/him. have only realised it.

im so glad !!!! T_T

AEMOND WAITING FOR AEGON AT NIGHT TT WHY so cute??? TT like they bicker and almost fight over a woman but hes still waiting for his bro TT it made me cry rn.

YES THEY THIS IS BROTHERHOOD/THE SIB DYNAMIC IN AN NUTSHELL also in my head they met because specifically to talk about the issue aemond had and to air out his feelings over the fact he just witnessed THE FUCKING PRINCE AND YN MAKING OUT IN HIS PLACE OF WORK RIP THAT 💀

also this little feeling of woe between them while theyre talking abt the woman theyre both pining after and whos never to be with either of them...

T_T It be like that

WHINING DRUNK DAEMON TT im a simp. can imagine his glossy eyes and smudged kisses on whatever skin he can find bc of the yearning for close proximity.

HELP ME THAT WAS SO BEAUTIFULLY AND BREIFLY PUT THAT IS SO DAEMON THAT IS DAEMON DAEMON IS THAT WOW OMG IM DEAD NOW IM DEAD SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP

love it, so soft so tender so A. but his greezy ass😡 thanks again for not making it nsfw. i love how she rejects his flirting GHHDHD

yeah i dont think im going to make it nsfw until i feel like it makes sense. yes he wants love but you gotta give him smth real. and i want it to be super tender and sweet and full of love. LOL SIMP i was thinking maybe doing in he next part but also writing smut is so draining but anyway i do what i want. if you dont feel comfy reading smut if i do write it just skip it ok

she needs to preserve her maidenhood till the wedding night, after all. (sorry IK its bad, sorry:( )

hELP EW HSAFHLASHFLAHFALSHF THE WAY I ACTUALLY WENT EW HAHAHHH by all means go off girlie AHHAHAHAHAHA

and daemon doing sports! i love this detail that shows that hes really from a royal family and has duties and had an education and these royal hobbies (ig?).

YES I LOVE THIS DETAIL TOO ACTUALLY IM GLAD YOU EVEN NOTICED IT I ACTUALLY THINK I WILL ADD A SCENE WITH HIM DOING SPORTS 🤤🥵 JUST BE BEING A THIRST ASS RAT FOR DAEMON ALSFHALSFHALSFHASL;FHLAS

DAEMON CALLING READER PRINCESS. you probably didnt mean it but i do see it as the reference to her actually being his wife who has his royal title.

NO I 100% MEANT IT LIKE THAT YOU GOT IT RIGHT ON

“Then why won’t you let me put a dragonling in you?” 1) i snorted. 2) it made me think. its ok with your point of view. but since ive seen the beginning as reader dying during the labour, i though she might be frightened of actually getting pregnant? yes its been 2000 years but. she not likely got pregnant throughout this time.

i totally understand what you mean............................................ what if i told you................................................................................... i envisioned she had a kid in her 2000 year wait............................................................................................................ ok but honestly more of an adoptive parent. but idk im still on the fence about come on she has been alive for 20000000 yearSSSSS there should have been at least ONE PERSON AT LEAST ONE PERSON that she let get close to her, thus the plotline i told you about the ex lashfalkfhalsfh OMG GIRL I JUST THOUGHT OF A REALLY MESSY TIMELINE FUCKKKKKKK HELP

'not liking his indirect insinuation of weakness' GASLIGHT GATEKEEP GIRLBOSS YES!! love her.

PURR EXACTLY

the domestic atmosphere of their interactions is making me smile so softly. AND daemon caring about wifes well-being in the first place after shes gone? equals him being smug before.

I love the domestic atmosphere between them too!!! T_T we love a caring husband even though its rooted in his own self interest T_T idk what you mean about him being smug before but yes he is always smug anyway so HAHAH

OH AND IM THE GOVERNMENT JFHCXJSDJ weve talked abt it so it was cute to find it in the fic. youre such a sweety<з

I HAD TO PUT IT COS ITS SO FUNNY

STILL pretty awkward interactions with aemond make my heart clench. hes so timid and so emo for this. understandable that 1) he respects his professor 2) hes in love w/her 3) thus he wants her to be happy and hes the type to let her go find her happiness in another place 4) hes suspicious. but so emo TT

im a bit amused that you find aemond timid. perhaps in the face of yn and daemon, in comparison, he does come off like that, but also i think its just him being younger than both of them and not yet being so sure of himself yet. i think he also senses something between them that cannot fight against his 'love' his crush which is just silly or childish. so he would not yet speak on his feelings while their dynamic is mentor and student lol we'll see

and your intro to the 'investigation' (hope im not saying some ridiculous shit to you)! this book intrigues. and now im really inerested if shes gonna tell aemond anything. bc she like had intention to do so?... im intrigued.

im still on the fence about yn talking about the whole thing in general. i mean she's halfheartedly spoken her truth to multiple characters, but it was hard for her FOR ME to be even able to make her just to viserys that she loves daemon so much. so a part of me is thinking of making aemond her confidant, wherein he knows everything about her and no one else does but also im thinking what if hes so highstrung on figuring out this mystery its suddenly shown to everyone, daemon, aegon, aemma, everyone, BUT him and then when he finds it out for himself, hes like betrayed because everyone found out without even digging into it. but then if i take that route, i could make him into a villain and 0.0 the plot would get mega twisted HAHAHAHAH. also what you said is not ridiculous. you totally caught onto me foreshadowing the fact aemond is going to try and find out about her

so THE king coming to the museum. its interesting how hes so calm and thoughtful(?) and its relieving how hes so protective of his brother. even if hes against the wedding and dont know this woman, he knows his brother is in love and goes crazy bc of her so hes being the real kepa and going and trying to solve it all.

VISERYS BEING THAT DAD TO DAEMON THAT HE NEVER WAS TO HIS KIDS (OTHER THAN RHAENYRA) IN HIS PREVIOUS LIFE. redemption arc real. HAHAHAHA. i mean in the show this was the whole vibe viserys gave to me. also the actor in general. him and matt are so brothers irl <3

i also see them having a nice conversation with logic, calmness, respect and all and daemon rushing in and ruining it by screaming smth like 'fckng viserys i love her'.

I ALMOST WROTE SMTH LIKE THAT but i felt like it would kill the whole chapter so i didnt maybe for the next one

also. i always read the last line before reading smth. and i was so amused by seeing aegons plain and loosey text to aemond. theyre so bros here i love them TT

????? HLKASHDHASD why do you read the last first??? but yes they are SO BROS IN THIS I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

overall, this part was more about daemon, domestic interactions, spoilers(?) of forthcoming events and symbols so no tears. (NOT a dare)

HAHAHHHAAHH. there arent spoilers what do you mean ASL:FHASFAS SPOILERS ARE LIKE INFO OUTSIDE THE STORY THAT IS TALKING ABOUT WHAT HAPPENS NEXT so i think you mean foreshadowing. i mUST make you cry next time

im very proud of you for writing so much.

THANK YOU MY LOVE PROUD OF ME TOO

i appreciate your efforts soso much! and oh how big brained r u in this part! ig all your plans were given the greatest expression and a start! youve done SOSO good! thank u so much for the time, thoughts and hard work you invest in this! hope youre proud of yourself as well. bc you deserve it. you and your fics deserve much more love than tumblr can ever provide.

AWWWWWWWWW THANK YOU SO MUCH MY LOVE YOUR WORDS MEAN SO MUCH TO ME IM HONORED TO RECEIVE YOUR WORDS OF AFFIRMATION AND APPRECIATION <3

take care! love you<з

i love you <3 take care as well

xxx

[harringtown]

i’ve been meaning to come in and say hi for so long but i could not let another ✨second✨ pass by without letting you know that i am in love with your writing you are an actual queen 😭😭😭

CAN WE TALK ABOUT WITH ROME BELOW US?? THAT FIC HAS ME IN A CHOKEHOLD ITS SO UNBELIEVABLY AMAZING and i don’t have the vocab to express HOW MUCH I LOVE IT????? i read it on ao3 for the first time and i just remember being mindblown after every chapter and then reading your author notes and they were so sweet and humble tbh they had me shaking because after you put me through the wringer every chapter there was a “thank you for reading” in the notes like it’s totally normal for you to girlboss this hard on a tuesday 😭✋ now i have reread it so many times please don’t ask it’s embarrassing 🥹

it feels so lame and not enough to say that you’re an incredible writer because you are so much more than that. and it’s so rare for me to be able to connect with a story the way i did with this one but everything from your writing style to the plot to the characterisation was so so well done. you had me SO invested in the story and in every single character and the way you write is so powerful and immersive i really felt like i was in the story 🥲 and even though ofc some of the events were based off the show you really made everything your own like the creativity and genius?? unparalleled

i feel like i defs can’t talk about this story without taking about the ANGST???? oh my goodness i loved it SO MUCH and bestie you did not hold back at all 😭💔 the LONGING and unrequited love (at least at first except i’m not 100% if i can call it that bc the timeline HAHAHA) and the DRAMA. I LOVED IT ALL SO MUCH 😭😭 it was the perfect level of angst it made me feel like someone was stomping on my stomach and squeezing my heart way too hard and also cutting off my circulation but the happy ending came right before i was about to die 💅🏽 i loved the vibes i loved everything except maybe that it ended too soon 😭 but you could have continued this story for another 7382362928722929 chapters and that still would have been too soon so it is still a huge slay for you bestie

and the way you made it gender neutral with the pronouns was so sweet and i am so glad this story is there for every reader to read and cherish the way i did 😌

i’m so sorry this is so long it’s just rare to find a story that resonates with you and makes you feel things the way this did for me 🥹🥹 it reminds me of my favourite book and i didn’t think i’d find anything that made me feel the way that book did until i found with rome below us 🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽

you are actually iconic i hope you know that 😭 i’ve read a few of your fics already on ao3 and i can’t wait to read more ILY

HI HELLO OMG this is literally the kindest message ive ever received i wish i could tattoo it on my chest oh my god thank u so so much!!!

i dont even have words but im just so so glad you enjoyed it!!! the whole reason i write is because its a comfort for me and it makes me so happy to know other people read my stuff and feel the same (well maybe not all comfort cuz like. the angst. but u know what i mean)

‘it reminds me of my favorite book’ is the best compliment ever god i would like to give u a big hug and a kiss on the forehead!!!! youre incredible and i cannot tell u how much i appreciate u taking the time to read and comment

[oh-for-fic-sake]

Ghosting A Wayne

Masterlist

Warnings: Adult content +18 only!! Smut, Agegap, Swearing, A Little Angst?

A/n:Ok so this is the first real full smut iv done and im super nervous about posting this one i hope its good but if its shit im sorry hope you enjoyxx

After getting cold feet because of your own insecurities you get a visitor pick you up from work.

Ghosting A Wayne

You sighed as you pulled out a batch of cookies from the oven placing the three large trays out on the cooling racks today was a baking day to fill the display out the front ,you'd been alone with your thoughts all day and were just about done, glancing at the clock you fist pumped the air. Home time. You quickly undone your apron hanging it on the hook by the kitchen door then called out to Tom that your shift was done.

After your first lunch date with Bruce you intended to leave it there but the man was very persistent... and charming somehow he'd managed to talk you in circles and wrangle a second date and third and forth. you'd canceled your fifth using work as an excuse and he bought it for about a week, then he began asking when you were free telling you to call him giving you his personal number which you didn't call.

That worked for about three days before he began messaging you about a date you replied with excuses it seemed to work until he showed up at the door to drop Damien round instead of Alfred, Jack had covered for you not letting either of them in saying you were ill. It wasn't that you didn't like him or anything you were scared, scared of getting hurt he was amazing a perfect gentleman he made you laugh he took you to fancy places but didn't make you uncomfortable even going so far as to berate another guest as he heard them make a comment of the restaurant 'letting anyone in these days' when he was returning from the rest room , you felt special and safe with him.

But he was The Bruce Wayne and nothing would ever come of it. Someone like you had no right to be with someone like him, he deserved a high class well educated successful woman not a minimum wage cafe worker who dropped out of college. You found yourself growing to attached to him and it had frightened you. Not only that but what would people say when they found out, probably think your a charity case or a gold digger you could see the headlines now ' The playboys new sugar baby' with photos of you plastered across the tabloids you shivered.

Damien had spoke to you about it he was far to smart for his own good telling you your being a 'stupid female' and that you should just talk to Bruce about it, Jack also scolded you for being stupid and letting your insecurities hold you back.

The boy had been soo happy for you when you were going out with Bruce, he admitted that he felt responsible for you being alone and not having friends or a boyfriend it broke your heart, hearing how he blamed himself for it, yes it had been hard taking on a 8 year old at 20 years old and yes you did need to grow up quicker then most and avoid the typical early twenties drinking and clubbing but you wouldn't change a thing. When he had brought it up you both had a heart to heart and you were gobsmacked at just how mature he had soundec. He told you that he didn't care about Bruce being Damien's dad or that he was older than you, he was happy that you had someone who made you happy and wanted you to got out with him again and be happy. The boys didn't understand.

"Tom I'm finished don't touch the cookies before they cool you can have one to test but that's it theirs 48 here I've counted, so if you have anymore I will know its you, you greedy little shit" you said opeing the door you walked straight into him he was wide eyed pointing out to the font over his shouldet. You froze thinking the worst it was gotham afterall.

"Oh my god tom?"

"You have.. Out the there.... Man front" he said not making any sense you pushed past him through the door

"whats wron-"

"y/n!" you snapped your head to the counter seeing Bruce standing their ignoring the odd looks he received from the other few customers scattered about in the cafe. You slung your bag over your shoulder cradling your coat in the other hand cursing quietly. Scanning the cafe for a quick exit wanting to run. There was one way in and out and he was between you and the door. Giving in you plastered on a polite smile.

"Bruce what are you doing here?" you asked tentatively due to the blank look on his face unsure what mood he would be in after you ghosted him. Making your way around the counter he followed on the other side meeting you at the end.

"I wanted to take you out, Jack told me when you finished so I thought I'd come pick you up for dinner" you felt the gazes in the room shift from him to you and the whispers started. Bruce held out a hand taking your coat from you while you tried to come up with a reason not to your anxiety screaming at you to run. You sighed at him biting your lower lip raw he lifted a hand pulling it gently forcing you to release it. He smiled meeting your eyes trying to calm you.

"Bruce I don't feel like going out tonight can we reschedule?" hooking his arm around your waist guiding you out of the cafe past the gossiping customers opening the door for the both of you pressing himself to your back giving you no room to bolt away. Hed catch you anyway.

"Good news, we don't have to go out Alfred is making us dinner back home, so we get to have a relaxing night in." you nodded as you left walking down the street feeling your nerves spike as you realized there was no reason to avoid this. He kept pace with you to the side arms ready to dart out and catch you as you glanced around a little skittish he ushered you into a ridiculously expensive Lamborghini and took off down the road.

"So that's Tom then? the one you were talking about?" he started you were confused as he acted like you hadn't been avoiding him for the past week and half you just nodded.

"Err yeah that's him we get along work really well, I was doing all the baking today couldn't handle the customers they were doing my head in." he nodded placing a warm hand on your knee running his thumb in small circles you took a deep breath.

"I know what you mean, had a lot of meetings today with a bunch little men wanting me to over invest in companies that wont last the financial year" you tensed as he left his hand on your leg still navigating the traffic, you tried to shift your led from underneath him but he just followed squeezing it lightly making your breath hitch and clench your walls tight.

"Sh-shouldn't you have both hands on the wheel in a car like this?" you asked quietly he laughed giving you a mischievous look then you screamed as he let go of the wheel completely still picking up speed quickly.

"OH MY GOD BRUCE NO!" you cried leaning over grabbing it yourself he just laughed out loud placing one hand back on it the other still resting on your knee.

"Its fine I could probably drive this with my eyes closed, it's nothing like my other car" he said cheekily as he made his way towards the outskirts of gotham you swallowed nervously.

"yeah please dont do that"

"Don't worry I'd never let anything happen to you sweets" you blushed as he used the nickname he'd given you onde he found out about your sweet tooth and the fact you do all the baking at the cafe.

"He says after driving without hands." you scoffed looking out of the window as the scenery changed. It wasn't long before you pulled up to the manor. It was impressive you'd only been inside twice whilst waiting for Jack to get his things he thought it was the perfect place to hid from his dentist and doctors appointments. Once out of the car he lead you inside where Alfred greeted you both.

"Ah Master Wayne dinner will take another hour or so I'm afraid and Y/n its lovely to see you again." Bruce gave you both a look seeking an explanation for the first name basis.

"Have you met everyone in this house before me?" he asked sarcastically you smiled at him before Alfred took your coats hanging them up.

"Well sometimes the boys play about getting ready so Alfred comes in for tea whilst we wait and I've met Tim he has come over a few times drank my whole pot of coffee and left." he grunted before leading you to a small sitting room off to the side.

"We will be in here Alfred call us when dinner is ready." Alfred nodded smiling slyly before closing the door leaving you in private. You sat down on the leather sofa a nervous wreck looking around the opulent room feeling out of place, he took a seat beside you offering you a glass of what you assumed was scotch he sat and leaned in next to you. Relaxing as he took a slow sip of his drink.

"Don't look so worried the boys explained for you. Your scared of getting hurt I can understand that I don't exactly have the best record but I'm not giving up as you can tell."you looked down into your glass a little ashamed as you heard hurt laced in his words.

"I-its not that, its me I.. I love spending time with you I really do... but I dont think you should waste your time on me... thats all" he frowned you sounded so ...defeated , he didnt like it one bit placing his glass down putting two and two together. That he didn't know Damien said you were being a 'difficult woman' and Jack had said that you hadn't dated since school and were afraid of being hurt he summarised that it was because of him but it sounds like there was more to it then that. Bruce took a deep breath regarding you carefully.

"Waste my time? why would spending time with you be a waste. There is something between us, I have never felt this type of pull to a woman before and I'm quite determind to see you if you havent already noticed" he said sternly you shrunk into the sofa he sighed pulling the glass tumbler from you hand.

"Whats really going on? we were going fine then you just pulled back. I want this, us and I know you do to but we have to talk to each other." You leaned forward locking eyes with him feeling overwhelmed you shook your head pulling back he followed leaning back pulling you across the seat wrapping his arms around you pulling your face into his chest holding you, you tried pulling yourself off of him but he was to stronger than he looked. You Gave up then took a deep breath endulging in the closeness breathing him in.

"Talk to me please" he spoke quietly into your hair

"I cant, I just cant, your-I, you need someone better. And if people find out then what will they think? that I'm a charity case some passing fancy? that you'll get bored with and you will bruce. When you find some older succsessfull women who equals you. someone that I can never be for you. I wont be good enough for you and you'll see it one day" once you started you couldn't stop as the words kept coming your fears poured out after being kept bottled up since that very first date.Fears of loving him and then him leaving, or of what backlash Jack could face if you were painted to be a whore trying to capture Bruces attention, the cps could investigate if it seemed like you were becoming a party girl like what Bruce typically dated. Then there was the fact that the school could start being funny if word got out that you and bruce were together. But the main reason was that he was to good for you and you knew it. You heaved a breath feeling lighter yet your stomach churned he had been quiet throughout and you'd gotten yourself worked up shaking from your anxiety feeling sick to your stomach.

"I'm sorry I know I should have spoke to you instead but I... I was scared that you were going to realize I'm right and leave ...so" he hushed you rubbing your back lightly causing you to shiver and relax onto his chest.

"So you left before I could?" you flinched then nodded it sounded so petty when said out loud he moved sitting up a bit more dragging you with him not releasing you for a second, he would have preferred if it had all been about his past but now realized you had low self esteem you had fears about the future, the age gap, Jacks future and how people would judge you all of these fear were to blame. And he understood it must be daughting, but what got him most was that you thought he'd let you deal with it alone , that you were so scared of loosing him in the long run you tried to walk away now and that was all the proof he needed that you did feel somthing for him.

"Tell me something does Jack have a problem with you being with me?" he asked you shook your head instantly.

"No he loves it, he wants me to be with you he saw how happy I was he has been pestering me to call" he pulled his head away smiling confusing you.

"I can tell you that Damien is thrilled he has even been bragging to his brothers that I've found the perfect woman and they cant wait to meet you by the way the

and he threatened me before every date to 'not to fuck it up' so let me ask another question if Jack, Damien me and you are happy what does anyone else's opinion matter? it's our life why should we make ourselves miserable over a few tabloids that can be taken to court and be corrected? and I do have reporters that I trust with these type of stories one is a very close friend who I could give an exclusive to before any rumors get around and the press make up some nonsense. Not only that I know Clark wold print the truth if he knew that it involved the boys being bullied in the school." he let you pull back shocked you didnt think he would want anyone to know, you thought hed be ashamed of you.

"wh-what?" it was bearly a whisper but he heard it.

"You heard me sweets, Clark wouldn't let me down not with this and there are other reporters who I've trusted to cover stories of the boys in the past one phone call and I would have everything sorted and anyone who tries to make this something its not will feel the full force of my legal team." he leaned in giving you no time to reply kissing you deeply invading your mouth moaning into you. His tongue dominated your mouth taking your breath away he paused pulling you to straddle his waist you blushed looking down at him.Trying to put your weight on your knees conscious of your weight Bruce not having any of that tugged harshly pulling your weight on his thighs.

"And as for finding someone better I doubt it. I've said it before and I will say it again I want you. Not some stuck up model who's one surgery away from being on botched. The day we met I was floored and for the first time I saw what I truly wanted for me and my family. And it wasn't some highly educated business woman, no it was a sexy little mama bear who treated my son as her own." you gasped as he brought your hips closer resting you on his crotch before leaning forward capturing your lips again this time slow and deliberate pouring himself into it you, you moaned quietly as he rocked you across his groin. Pulling back for air

"So little miss now we have all that cleared up is there anything you want to add?"

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry" you gasped out trying to collect yourself as you began getting tearful as you felt stupid for being so silly yet relieved that he hadn't thrown you out, he chuckled shushing you then moved biting at your earlobe .

"That's ok love I'm sure you'll make it up to me" he said kissing down your neck biting below your ear then lower to your pulse point feeling it race under his tongue before sucking harshly bordering on painful.

"o-OH Bruce" you gasped gripping his shoulder trying not to lean back to far and fall he noticed using and arm to hold you elbow resting on your waist curling his fingers into your low bun pulling slowly stretching your neck before him leaving marks up it you groaned closing your eyes trying to rub your thighs together as your pussy grew hot and clenched dampening your panties he ran his nose down your neck kissing your collar bone lightly.

"Aww sweety so desperate hm?" you whined squeezing his hips between your thighs again grinding softly against him he chuckled biting the top of your breast running his tongue along your cleavage unbuttoning your blouse with deft fingers then returned them to your hips pushing you harshly on his erection you cried out looking down panting as he dragged you slowly back and forth feeling him through his trousers was almost to much you fisted your hands in the crisp shirt covering his shoulders. He let out a breathy growl smug as you started trying to rock on him faster pouting when he held you controlling your pace circling you slow on his bulge dipping his thumbs into your pelvis tilting you catching your clit with every pass of your hips you shook your head eyes tightly shut.

"OH fuck shiiitt Bruce" he watched eyes blown as he built you up slowly drinking in your flushed face pouty full lips forming an 'o' as you let out high pitched cries his hands smothered your breasts squeezing them in his palms testing them before he tipped the cups down teasing your pink nipples to attention. You opened your eyes glazed over pleading with him.

"Please Bruce... I dont-fuck" you moaned high and louder almost squeeling as he pinched one of your nipples refusing to let go pulling your chest towards him by it until he could lay a sweet kiss to the other suckling catching it between his teeth nipping it letting go with a loud pop. You panted harder as he toyed with you, your body trembled as he pulled you closer to the edge your clit rubbed harshly against him and he growled relishing in the way your heat seeped onto him. He couldn't wait. He wouldn't. With a one sweeping motion you found yourself lying on the sofa with him hovering over you pulling your leggings down over your hips skimming your quivering thighs with his knuckles befor rubbing your calves and griping your ankles encircling them effortlesly, running his thumbs across the inside of them . Following bending as he went kissing your soft stomach and pelvis finally leaving a small kiss on your mound over your panties you moaned at that. He slipped your leggings off taking your flats with them you blushed as he stared seeing the wet patch you'd left on your panties crawling back up you exploring with his hands the whole way. Hooking a hand around to back of your neck he pulled you up into a bruising kiss needy as he angled his head to devour you deeper his other hand dragging your shirt from you by the back of the neck unclipping your bra and he went lowering you back down you blushed trying to cover yourself he growled pinning them beside you.

"Nooo you dont babe, let me see, show me" he ground out a deep gruntle sound that vibrated threw you trailing the tips of his fingers from your throat down in slow unpredictable patterns leaving goosebumps in his wake your nipples pebbled as he past them your whole body shuddered

"Fuck. Your stunning" you didn't meet his gaze it was to hot, posessive like he was claiming you already just with his eyes watching closely memorizing every freckle and mark on your skin, he let out a deep shuddering breath when you arched up inyo him as he fingered the bow on the waist band of your panties back and forth he brought his fingers lower and lower across your mound. You squirmed trying to buck up against him trying to get him where you desperately needed him whimpering pitifully. His response was to stretch out his fingers across your lower tummy and push you back down holding you still. You protested as his warm hand covered your whole mound and rocked forward trying to catch your clit on the heal of his palm that rested just out of reach.

"Such a greedy little thing. I think I'm going to have to work on your manners" he chided before using a hand to unbutton his shirt revealing a perfectly sculpted torso, you made a noise in the back of your throat that you didn't recognize at the sight of him, caramel skin taught over deliciously defined muscles and small thatch of hair disappearing below a teasingly low hanging trousers he let the shirt slide to the floor undoing his belt then slowly pulled his trousers over his hip grunting thrusting forward as it glided over his cock. You bit your lip still trying to move against his heavy hand he granted you a little mercy twisting as the wrist slotting his thumb between your lips seeking your clit and rubbing a figure 8 hard.

"AHH! F-Fuck BRUCE yes oh god-" you gasped deep breaths as he rolled your cilt around almost rough in his ministrations the fabric of you panties hieghtend the sensation you closed your eyes grinding yourself down on him tears leaked from them his other hand came up to your throat forcing you to face him.

"Look at me baby. come on let me see you... ah there she is good girl" he praised as you looked at him tears clinging to your lashes his hand still working you. Sobbing incoherently trying to buck up to him.

"OH fuck please-PLEASE let me come bruce please I'll do anything PLEASE" you breathed out hoarse gasping when your pussy weeped wetting the sofa below you he played you like an instrument taking you higher and higher you clenched and withered as you felt that familiar burn of an orgasm start in your lower tummy , almost cramping as it traveld lower to your pussy you chased it trying to rock harder just as you were at the presapice he stopped pulling his thumb away bit still pinned you down.

"AH! NO Br-BRUCE come back" you sobbed reaching out for him as your body hummed hot and quivering you gave up on finding his hand throwing yours between you trying to take over and force yourself over the edge. Soo close. Bruce was quicker catching them in one hand pulling them above you head. He watched waiting for you to come down from the almost high. Pouting all the way.

"You can count that as your punishment babe" he whispered huskliey into your neck kissing at the marks he has left. You cried out frustarated sweaty and exhasted.

"But im feeling a little mercifull tonight." you looked at him from below your lashes his heart skipped a beat seeing you look at him so needy and ready you looked so small,he could do anything to you right now but only wanted one thing. Shuffling back leaning down he placed an open mouthed kiss on your panties slipping his fingers in the sides draging them off before standing removing his boxers freeing his erection you gasped as it bounced up tapping his stomach ,hesitantly you reached out running a single finger along the underside from tip to base he jerked forward when you cupped him testing your grip befor stroking him he stopped you

"Fuck sorry babe but I cant wait." he growled out pinning you back down running his weeping head up and down your slit you tensed as he probed your enterance. Sensing your nerves he locked lips with you coaxing out your tongue sucking on it before licking in your mouth makeing obscene noises feeling you relax he took the chance and slowly begun stretching you around him ,you gasped at the slight sting pulling back rest your forehead on his grunting softly as he kept a slow steady pressure finally knocking his hips with yours you panted feeling your walls fluttering around him then squeezing

"shit Bruce" he huffed out a laugh flexing in response

"carefull there babe" you grunted feeling stuffed full as his head pushed against your cervix.

"Bruce please...HUrry up!" you clenched him stealing his breath from him he gave a playfull glare you felt a little tremor of apprehension as he repostioned your legs higher on his hips placing your heels into his lower back before plowing you into the sofa grunting and growling as his thrusts rocked your body you were by no means quiet as the veins on his cock massaged your walls with delicious friction he slowed then pressed himself tight against your clit rotating catching your gspot you bucked violenty against him head thrown back as you wailed he leaned up sucking and biting at your neck then resumed finding a brutal pace aiming for your gspot hitting it with pinpoint accuracy. You shook your head screaming out uncontrollably bucking begging for him to go harder, faster just wanting more. It wasn't long befor you saw stars letting out a silent scream tensing before you snapped cumming around him almost blinded as he rode you through it still hitting your spot faster if that was even possible before stuttering his hips holding himself tight locking you both together as he flooded you.

"OH GOD fuck FUCK yesyesyes good girl yes fuck" he moaned as you lay beneath him, limp body still quacking in the aftermath of your own end. He stayed still until he was soft catching his breath recovering before you removing himself he sat back on his knees watching as he leaked from you quick to scoop his cum and press it back within you, you whined still painfully oversensitive trying to pull away from his invading fingers. he chuckled as you squirmed utterly spent.

"nooo bruce" you whined as he prodded your freshly fucked pussy lighly grazing your abused clit causing you to whine at him pitifully jolting with every swipe.

"Aww baby are you sore?" you pouted at his words nodding he got up sitting you up handing you your forgotton drink you took it gulping it down ignoring the burn. he retrived his boxers throwing them on then a soft blanket covering you before scooping you up heading for the door.

"Bruce? what are you doing?" you asked gorgily already struggiljng to stay awake he leant down shutting you up with a kiss.

"We are going to bed you need some sleep before we continue." you blinked

"wha?" he grinned cheekily

"well how are we going to build up your stamina if we dont push past your exhaustion?" you almost cried just wanting to sleep.

"What about Alfred dinner?" you questioned

"He didnt make any I had to have a reason to get you here didnt I? he went to bed. and dont worry about Jack he is staying over in a room next to Damien's" you looked at him shocked

"What why was he here? do you think he could have heard me? bruce!" you panicked suddenly fully awake trying to wiggle out of his grip he laughed kissing your face.

"Oh my god what about our clothes? Bruce go back and shit we made a mess i need to clean that up..Bruce are you listening?" You created as he continued further away from the room youd just soild.

"he didnt hear you at all it was one of his demands when we planned this. And dont worry about the room or the clothes alfred will take care of it" he said scaling the stairs with ease taking you to his room

"planned? you who else knew? And what do you mean alfred will take care of it? no absolutly not that is embarassing" you argued as he kicked the door to his room shut behind him depositing you on his bed following you down landing above you kissing you again.

"me alfred damien and jack planned it but dick and jason knew too thats why they are scarce and alfred has cleard up worse trust me." he explained you stared at him in horror

"My little brother set me up with you?oh my god I'm not going to live that down and i need to clear that up its to embarassing for alfred to see" you cried he laughed out loud.

"Well I think its was worth it, and you can try and beat Alfred to it but that room will be ccleared up before sunrise and you won't be leaving this bed before then" he said snuggling up with you under the cover ,you made a noise as he tucked you into his chest his heart beat calming you making you drift into a peaceful sleep resting on his chest, feeling safe and sound wrapped up in him as he traced patterns on your back, sighing he was finally content a peace he hadnt known befor washed over him satisfied that he had found the woman that would complete his family, his chest swelled as he placed a kiss on your head. He wasn't ever letting you go now that he had you here. Glancing over at the clock, hed give you an hour or so to build up some energy before he woke you smirkjng to himslef planing all the wicked ways he was going to toy with you during the night. Oh yes the night was young and if Bruce had his way you wouldnt be leaving his bed tomorrow because you wouldnt be able to, thankfully you hade a few days off so he might let you recover. Then again he might not.

[kinktae]

The penultimate part🥺 I’m not ready to say goodbye, Bitchin!Jungkook has definitely been one of my fav characterizations of him that I’ve ever read. Thank you so much for sharing your work with all of us💖

bitchin 9 asks bc i suck

sapphireprinces5 said: bitchin’ pt9 was just so beautiful?? the way you explained the emotions and interactions between the characters was just amazing!! I felt myself hanging on every word wow excited for the end but will miss bitchin’ so much 🤧

Anonymous said: TAEHYUNG AND YARA SIGN ME UP GURL!!!!

Anonymous said: Like I just feel like if Jk really liked y/n he wouldn’t have slept with Kiri, you know? It shouldn’t matter that he didn’t know how y/n felt. And it’s obvious that he has feelings for y/n so I just hope that’s something y/n addresses when she talks to him. Don’t settle for less girl! Get you a man who will fight for you regardless 👏 (btw this is not me criticizing how you wrote it in any way! I’m just so invested in the characters and am thinking about how I would feel in this scenario :) )

Anonymous said: I KNEW SOMETHING WAS GONNA HAPPEN WITH YARA AND TAE I FELT IT SO DEEP IN MY BONES IM SO HAPPY FOR THEM 😭😭😭

Anonymous said: Hi! I just binge read bitchin in a day and can I just say that I loved it! I really love the female characters as well, you’ve written them so beautifully 🥺 if I was y/n I wouldn’t be concerned so much about Jk not sleeping with Kiri if he knew the way y/n felt, but rather the fact that if Jk didn’t want to sleep with Kiri, he wouldn’t have, regardless of y/n’s feelings or not. IMO y/n’s feelings shouldn’t be the issue here, but Jk’s should! If I was y/n’s bff that’s what I would tell her LOL

Anonymous said: OH MY GOODNESS! YES !!!! YESSSSS Y.E.S Muchas graciaaaas!!!

Anonymous said: tae and yara are my new ship)

unknowntalesx said: okay but like tae and yara thooO they got me all smiley being like oh yeah bayyybeEE das what im talking about 😏 ALSO OKAY NOW THAT I AM MORE LUCID KIRI GOT FUCKING WRECKED I LOVED THAT SHE GOT A DOSE OF HER OWN MANIPULATIVE MEDICINE I AM 😤😤😤😤😤

Anonymous said: im not ready for bitchin to end )):

Anonymous said: I SCREAMED WHEN Y/N TOLD KIRI THE TRUTH. YES QUEEN. STAB AND TWIST THE KNIFE!

Anonymous said: ROSE AHHSHSJSKSD FUCK U I’m all hot and bothered with anticipation for pt 10 now 😩😩😩🥵

sydney--chan said: We really stan y/n for using her big ol brain to rock kiris world oh my god I yelled also I say what's your damage all the time bring that shit back

Anonymous said: a tae x yara spin off series or one shot...... haha jk..... unless..... 👀

Anonymous said: Fuck kiri's scheming ass. I'm glad YN ripped her a new one

Anonymous said: AAHHHHHH once again, I love this chapter so much!!!! I was screaming at Yara and Tae part. Seriously!!!! I am SURE she felt that spark when he kissed her. Is she going to be the one falling for the guy while he wants something casual now? Or maybe Tae will fall for her as well? Ahhhh so cute! I feel like that would be a nice spin off yk (no pressure, I swear). And Erik, woah I didn't expect him to be like that. To be so nice and wise. Great character development indeed! It was really nice (1/2)

Anonymous said: To see their interaction and the way he opened her eyes (for some reason I couldn't help but picture him as Namjoon). Ohhh the Kiri part tho!!!! I felt really petty but in the best way lol. Anywaysss I am really excited for the last chapter (really sad too) and I am sure it is going to be the best because you are a genius! Thank you for sharing another amazing chapter with us! ♥♥♥ (2/2)

Anonymous said: OKAY I absolutely adored Bitchin part 9 😻 I always thought that it was also OC fault for what happened between her and jk, he obviously was the main jerk but she never actually admitted her feelings to him and he doesn't read minds so??¿¿? Really loved that she came to understand it. And I was rooting SO MUCH for yara and tae MAN I AM CRYING THEY DESERVE IT 🙌🏻

Anonymous said: you came through with the tae x yara content we all needed omg thank you!! if anyone’s gonna make yara fall in love it’s tae lol

Anonymous said: I honestly lowkey hate bitchin’ jungkook right now. I thought I’d get over it but I just can’t imagine how hurt and disgusted Y/N was when she found out that jk and kiri were together just hours before they were like ugh. It doesn’t help that I’m also really interested in Erik’s character development now so it would’ve been really interesting to see how he’d fit in Y/N’s life. 🥺

Anonymous said: jungkook and y/n wANT what yara and tae have

Anonymous said: TAEYARA YES FINALLY OUR WISHES HAVE BEEN ANSWERED 😍😍

Anonymous said: just want to let you know you’re an absolute angel and all you create is nothing short of perfection. *sends you all of the love*

spring2787 said: I jus came from a 4 hour long class and it's finally here... Thank you so much dear 🎂 💜

Anonymous said: Is yara me ? Like when she said that boy act like they understand the no string involved but then fall in love , dude I felt that , that's literally the story of my life lmaoooo Like the number of time a dude told me yeah I'm okay with that and then acted shocked when I told him I didn't feel anything for him is impressive lmaoo Anyway I'm so eager for the last chapter!!!! you did an amazing job!!

kuhweenbri said: The way I already finished but anyways girl I absolutely loved this part and now I’m excited for the next part 😭😭 will we be seeing more of T-ara??

Anonymous said: OMG YARA AND TAEEEEEEEEE. NOW I UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU MEANT BY FANSERVICE. JSJSJSJJSBXBSBSB But on a serious note, this fic just keeps on getting better. The fact that there's only one chapter left still hasn't come home to me 😭 but thank you so much for blessing us with this!💜💜

Anonymous said: YO! bitchin is flippin brilliant! you have done so well! jungkook broke my heart in part 9! im emotional but also so ready for part 10! please take your time. have a lovely day

Anonymous said: i don’t normally talk to writers on here but bitchin is really bitchin, i haven’t read a fanfic in so long that makes me excited to read the next part and maybe it’s because i’m so used to all of the aus being recycled but bitchin is truly a breathe of fresh air to me for some reason, maybe because you fleshed out the right hand mans for both characters idk or the it being a different time period, but i just wanted to say you are smashing bitchin dude and i love it!!

shy-kpop-girl said: BITCHIN': I just caught up on 8 & 9. Shocked & angry at JK. Because regardless of whether he knew y/n' feelings it was a dick move to sleep with Kiri one night and y/n the next morning. And it wasn't like he came over to talk/tell y/n about Kiri & things escalated because he went right at it as soon as she let him in. Even tho it was hot. 😳 But Erik. I wanted to hate him but dude surprised me with his reasoning. I loved that dialogue! Once again your writing is amazing & I love this story!

Anonymous said: Bitchin is the best fanfic on tumblr. And no one can change my mind. You’re doing amazing!! Much love xoxo

Anonymous said: “Think of life as one big puzzle and everyone you meet is shaped differently, right? Yet somehow… they fit. We find those that complete us. And they’re not necessarily opposites but—“ MAAM that part hit SOOO different omg your brain!?! Outta this world! Like this is whole ass literature!!!! I stg Bitchin’ is the best thing on this app and I meant that w my whole chest.

Anonymous said: I'm not ready for Bitchin to end. It's soooooo good 😍😍😍

kmultifandom said: Since there's a cast for bitchin I wanna audition for y/n because i wanna be a biologist and I have some similar personality traits *mic drop* Also great work, I seriously love it. No other fan fiction I have read was so close to my actual self and that impresses me even more and make it like it 10 times more djksksks

Anonymous said: how will I live when bitchin ends agghhh I haven’t even read 8-9 cause I’m waiting for the happy ending before I’m heartbroken and left waiting for the last part

Anonymous said: you know what would be super fun and crazy 😛😛🙈🙈 if you dropped bitchin’ pt 10 right now 😳😳 haha just kidding .... unless 😏😏

Anonymous said: lets gooooo!!!!!!!!!!! bitchin pt 10 better haunt me for the rest of the year

Anonymous said: I feel like I’m going to get so emotional once Bitchin’ part 10 is released. It’s like I’m sending off my non-existing kids to university because I won’t be able to see Bitchin!Jungkook anymore 🥺

Anonymous said: I can’t believe Bitchin’ is for real ending 😩 it’s soo gud 

Anonymous said: Can’t wait till bitchin PART 10 Probably gonna fall asleep before u post but I’ll try to stay up for it 🥺

Anonymous said: i love your writing honestly and i just really want you to be happy. your writing is immaculate and i really want you to know that you are talented and skilled so yeah. sorry if this is out of nowhere but i just really want to show appreciation to writers because they don't get enough and you are definitely my favorite writer:)) hope you have a good day!!

Anonymous said: okay but if Bitchin' goes on for 50 chapters that would be good too.. just sayin'.

tpo-quinn said: Bruh, I can already feel that I'm gonna cry from the last chapter of bitchin'...I CAN'T WAIT!

leojjeon said: so i've re-read bitchin ready for chapter 10 an I am feeling all sorts of emotions. it's fair to say it's my favourite series I've read!

Anonymous said: y did i forget bitchin would have an end like 😳😐we’ve been on this bitchin journey w u for so long i’m sad it’s over

Anonymous said: What what what?? Bitchin is ending??!!! Didnt it just fucking start like all the drama and tae&yara!!!! Omg girl!!!

Anonymous said: ur the absolute fucking GODDESS of writing angst, ive never ever waited for a ff to be updated before as if it was a new episode of my fav show coming out. thank u for writing and be so active, muah ur amazing

Anonymous said: a moment of silence for our loved bitchin who will die soon 😔 gone but not forgotten, she will always be in our hearts. all the best rides come to an end 😭

[wexhappyxfew]

so,, im new in this tumblr stuff so im not sure if u gonna read this but i just ended sunshine soldier and i wanted to tell u i got me so emotional it was so perfectly written I CRIED LIKE 3 NIGHTS AND DIDN'T SLEEP IN THE WHOLE WEEK READING BC IT WAS A GOODDAM PERFECT BOOK anyways i admire your writting it maked me cry like a baby and im looking forward your others proyects, xoxo (sorry if my english is too bad unu)

HELLO!! and of course i’ll read this!! 🥺💛💛

AWWWWWWW!!!

first of all, THANK U SM FOR READING!! i appreciate it so much just to hear that, it means sm as a writer to even get these posts, especially when i’m normally a lil shy :)

second, AHHHH THE EMOTIONS!! can i tell u i cried finishing writing the ending of it 🥺 and to know it got a fellow reader emotional just AH MY HEART! i know ive done my job if i’ve gotten readers to that point LOL!!

and AW THANK U!! my writing is such a passion and i invest so much time into making sure that its the way i want and the way that i hope it will be portrayed!! my characters become like my children and the storyline just becomes my LIFE when i write it!! thank u sm for your kind words, you are so lovely 😩

OMG U DIDNT GET SLEEP!! i hope u get sleep now tho, but truly what a compliment omg 😅😅 please tell me you are getting your rest now at least LOL :)

AWWWW THIS TRULY MAKES ME ENTIRE DAY!! you dont even understand, these make writers so happy, all writers, just to hear the tiniest compliment, it truly makes our days and it really made my day :) i cant thank u enough for your kind words 🥺💛

AND SIS DONT WORRY I CRIED LIKE A BABY WRITING IT LIKE AHAHA LOL

aw yay i’m glad!! and i really hope you enjoy them!! the soldier of stars is finished and ad astra per aspera is close to half way, and i really hope you enjoy a full new story :) (+landslide in late fall 2020 😅 the third and final :))

I CANT THANK U ENOUGH TRULY YOU ARE TOO KIND AND THIS MADE MY HEART SO SO WARM AGHHHHH SENDING WARM HUGS <3

and omg!! please never worry about your english!! anyone is always welcome on here no matter the language, u never have to worry with me i can promise u!! i cant thank u enough for reading :) stay lovely!! ~ 💛

[madisonrooney]

im not that involved in the tangled fandom but i have some Thoughts on the finale/series overall now that its done so i figured id share. im a little under the weather so sorry if these are kinda scattershot

(spoilers below)

for starters, ive been watching since the beginning and was hype since it was announced. i love tangled the movie, probably in one the higher tiers of my fav disney movies, not to mention it was the first tv show wed gotten based on disney movie since emperors new school 11 years prior.

at first i was skeptical about them giving rapunzel her long hair back. it was pretty clearly just a marketing ploy but it was done pretty well in the pilot which i really liked so i could get behind it.

i thought the first half or so of s1 was really good and really cute. it was just a sweet little slice of life in corona. 

i started to get disappointed in the show once queen for a day came around. varian is my fav character (more on him later) and i didnt really like his villain arc. it felt really out of nowhere. not an obvious villain, not a surprise twist villain, just a character that didn’t feel like should’ve been a villain at all. it just didn’t bode well with me. 

i also felt that the jump from slice of life show to high stakes, serialized show was far too abrupt. even tho i liked the second half of s2 and all of s3 better (more on that later as well), it still seemed to have an uneven balance of light and heavy plotlines. i dont wanna sound like one of those people who hates filler episodes. filler episodes are good, but need to be done in the right way at the right time, and i feel like this show didn’t do that very well.

speaking solely on the high stakes, i really feel like they were too high for a show of its kind. in a way, i felt it was somewhat disrespectful to the source material. the show isnt canon, and i feel like it made some big changes that effected the story and characters from the movie, which i think is taking a step too far if youre working on a tv show thats made by an entirely different crew than the film (even tho its the same cast). like, eugene’s dad being revealed and being given a backstory, gothel having a daughter, it just felt like too much for me. compare it to, say, the dragons series, which had very high stakes but also fit snugly between the first and second movies, and took great effort so that nothing they did effected the films’ stories. the showrunners on the dragons show were even consultants on the third movie, so they all flow together nicely.

but rapunzel and the great tree reeled me back in and i was much more invested from there forward, main reason being it gave me my favorite trope (that was kind of already there, but even moreso from this point on): a bubbly girl and an angsty girl who are somehow best friends, though they may be at odds sometimes, like during this arc. i became way more invested in cass as a character and rapunzel and cass as friends (or a ship, im fine with either).

my problems with the imbalance and too high stakes didnt go away with the remainder of s2 or with s3 but my investment in cass’ arc (AND THE REDEMPTION OF VARIAN WHICH I WAS HOPING FOR) was enough for me to put my issues with the show at least somewhat aside.

as far as more things i liked about the show:

VARIAN

he is my fav character and has become one of my new fav characters of all time. i have this thing i think ive mentioned before where if i like an actor and like a show he’s in i love the character twice as much as i otherwise would. so having one of my fav broadway actors whos in one of my fav broadway shows play him made him an instant fav. but i also just love how cute and quirky he is.

cass!

like i said, i love cass and grew to love her more through her newest arc. partially for the same reason as with varian with the VA thing. i dont know much about eden espinosa but ik shes played elphaba and i love that they employed so much broadway talent for this show (more on that later). since the show has started, ive gotten into rent, and she was broadways final maureen, so thats cool too. but beyond just that, i love her arc and personality and of COURSE her relationship with rapunzel, that being one of my fav aspects of the show. it fits right in with liv and maddie, riley and maya, trish and jessica, webby and lena, luz and amity (depending on how the rest of the owl house plays out lol) and im HERE FOR IT. also, despite the fact that i wasnt a huge fan of the high stakes, i give the crew a lot of credit for making a main character a villain for an entire season. thats a big step for disney to take that i dont think theyve come anywhere near before and i give them props for that.

the broadway and disney alum cast!

weve got james monroe iglehart, pat carroll, christian borle, gavin creel, laura benanti, jane krakowski, etc. and as a broadway nerd i love that, not to mention that some of these people had worked with alan menken before which is awesome

the fact that they brought back the ENTIRE movie cast PLUS alan menken is amazing. i dont think any other show based on a movie can quite attest to that

so, onto the finale itself

- i was worried varian may go bad again especially given his initial resistance to eugene suggested his dad might go bad but that didn’t happen so yay. i noticed other people mentioning musical call backs but the only one i noticed was let me make you proud and it made me so happy - ALSO VARIAN BEING THE ROYAL ALCHEMIST IM SO PROUD OF MY SON - this being disney, i figured cass getting redeemed was probably inevitable, but i’m still relieved it happened. now i dont have the bad taste left in my mouth jessica jones gave me. and i loved how her redemption went, seeing her so vulnerable and letting herself be that vulnerable in front of rapunzel CRYING INTO HER ARMS LIKE MY HEART. they really made her very broken, it reminded me a lot of maya hart. sometimes disney channels not willing to go that deep but im impressed they did. - i was kinda hoping it would be revealed that gothel wasn’t actually cass’ mom, i remember seeing some people hoping for that, cuz, again, i feel like thats a bit much to change from the movie canon, buuuut that didnt happen. oh well. - I WAS HOPING FOR I LOVE YOUS BETWEEN CASS AND RAPUNZEL AND WE GOT IT AND WE GOT A HUG AND IM ALIVE - lance adopting the kids was adorable - all the movie parallels were *chefs kiss*

everything wrapped up so nicely and im really happy with it as a finale!

that aside, again, i do still have some issues with the show. so im gonna take a moment to shamelessly plug big hero 6 the series bc imo that does the movie to show adaption FLAWLESSLY.

tl;dr: great finale, despite both loving and hating some things about this show, yall should watch big hero 6 the series, im love varian

[imanes]

3:48 and ive been going thru some wild instability lately. the person who i thought was my best friend is talking shit (untrue af) about me on finsta when i cared so so much about them and invested so much time and emotion into them while physically helping them out as much as i could. im just trying to regroup after that betrayal; its the last thing after a long long years long list of hurtful things theyve done to me and ive had enough. problem is we're roommates and they can tell im distant:/

my heart literally aches for you i cannot stand betrayal i feel like it should be a capital sin... i’m so sorry that you have to go through this and that on top of everything your physical space is tied to them. how long do you have left on your lease? is moving out/finding a new roommate a possibility in the future? bc if it is (even if it’s in like 6 months) you should definitely go for it and give yourself space away from them even if they apologise and you decide to forgive them like you have to promise yourself that you’ll see this through and to not let time dull your righteous anger. cuz i’ve been there (not as dramatic as living with that person though) and i let myself forgive them because they said they’d do better and time had lulled me into a false sense of safety around them but they never changed for shit and i got hurt all over again for no reason and i don’t want you to go through that AGAIN either. from the bottom of my heart i hope that you’ll recover sooner rather than later from this monumental betrayal and that this person grows enough to realise the harm they’ve caused in order to do better as an individual. and i hope you’ve got other friends who can support you through this tough time! since this person is the way they are (a backstabbing coward) they’ll probably keep on judging you and twisting the truth in order to fit their self-indulgent petty and cruel narrative but as we say in french “the toad’s venom does not reach the white dove” aka they can talk on and on but that doesn’t mean their words should have the power to reach you! they’re a sad sack and on the long run after you’ve mourned your friendship and let it stay buried in the ground where it ought to be you’ll feel so much lighter and although the event that led to this situation is so painful right now, sometimes you’re just better off without some people despite all the time and effort you put into your relationship with them. again i’m so sorry for what happened to you and the fact that you have to live together. i hope you won’t stay stuck in this situation and in the meantime i wish u the best of luck and a lot of strength! 

[feel199x]

mafia!au, mafia boss!hwang hyunjin, ceo!hwang hyunjin

chapters: I II III IV V VI VII   masterlist

♟ warnings: angst, existentialism?

♟ a/n: y’all can never catcha break huh :( im sorry

♟ song rec: jungle - busy earnin

“Like I said, we’ve been aware. Is this the only reason you called a meeting?”

“Of course not, but if you could ask your team to leave, please.”

Hyunjin didn’t look at any of you particularly, preferring to keep his attention as he waved you all away like dust on his shoulder. He bridged his fingers together, placing his chin on the interlocks as he smiled at Woojin, and you stepped out. Hyunjin looked like a striking image of his father when he smiled like that, and you knew something was going to go down. God, you could hear Hyunjin’s voice- a youthful version of his father’s- speaking in a low tone, calm but threatening and it sent shivers down your spine. You couldn’t help but wonder if you would be on the receiving end one of these days, and how soon it would be. Too soon, probably.

Everyone sat in a waiting room, piling onto the couches and love seats separated by an unspoken line. Was this really the life you were born into? Was this really how you were going to live, propped only by invisible strings to be moved out of obligation? Life was a game, and you were certainly not winning. You had no cards up your sleeve, no trickery to gain any favors. You were condemned to the hierarchy of generation and legacy.

You rested your head on your hand even as your wrist grew sore. They were starting to talk amongst themselves, of what? You didn’t know. It didn’t matter. Jeongin caught your eye as he whispered something into Seungmin’s ear and smoothed his suit walking off.  It was possible that he really was just going to the bathroom, but you doubted it. You waited a few minutes as the boys grew deeper in their conversation, too self-involved to care about their supposed enemies on each side of the wall. You got up, and smoothes your skirt when Changbin grabbed your wrist.

“Be careful, please, ___” he whispered.

“How did you-”

He let go, “I don’t.”

You released the tension in your shoulders as you made your way to the hidden hallway that kept the bathroom. You didn’t see Jeongin outside the doors, and thought it would be best not to look around. If you could avoid the suspicion, then you would. As the restroom door closed, you heard something fall. You opened one of the stalls to find Jeongin peering through a hole in the wall. “Cafe on eighth, three am.” He pulled the brick back- when had he done that? And then you heard the men’s door close, and footsteps fading from the hallway.

You sighed, placing both your palms on the sink counter and stared at the mirror. You looked so tired, why did you look so tired? You pulled at your eyes, wanting to cry and break down- you wanted to mourn. You didn’t even recognize who you were anymore, it was like you’d never even really known what you’d look like. Your body wasn’t your own, the breaths you took were automatic, you weren’t living.

But if man chooses to play god, something must be traded. An eye for an eye.

The cafe on eighth was disgusting in short. It didn’t help that there were shards of glass everywhere, it didn’t help that you knew this could be a setup, and it definitely didn’t help with the number of rats you heard squeaking. No, you hadn’t brought a gun, and you hadn’t told anyone you were leaving- stupid, really, but you couldn’t afford to have Jeongin thinking that you didn’t trust him. Not even Hyunjin knew you were here, and you told him everything, everything. You felt a little less guilty with his recent actions on mind, but you still loved him. But after the run-in with Sir Hwang, you were determined to make him watch his bloodstained empire fall, his own blood spilling over his white marble chess piece. He had taken much more than he could give, much more than you had to give. He took and took, and it was your turn this time, and you were going to take everything. And the fact that Hyunjin hadn’t even mentioned the bruise around your neck? It was one thing to separate love and work, but another to become the character you played. You had heard about actors getting too invested in their roles, becoming the paper they played- going too far deep not to drown. You mentally waved it off, trying to focus on the matter at hand.

“Jeongin?” For a building that was supposed to be abandoned, there were still remnants of the cafe that used to be there. For one, the cafe’s name was still painted, albeit mostly peeled off, but there when you looked. But most notably, there were a few tables left. “Over here.” You squinted, trying to follow the source of the voice and found Jeongin, sitting with two coffees on a small wooden table. “I hope you didn’t make that here.”

“I don’t think Remy from ratatouille makes coffee.”

You snorted, taking the coffee off the table and taking a sip. “This isn’t even coffee, Jeongin.” He shook his head, taking a sip from his cup as well and sighed. “I don’t like it, and I bet you don’t either.” You smiled, “Yeah, I guess you’re right.” A comfortable silence sat between you two as you drank the latte, cappuccino- whatever, the not coffee. It wasn’t exactly like you had a lot of time to sit in each other’s presence, but it was better than coming up with a morbidly flawed plan. “So…” Jeongin’s voice trailed off as he put his cup down a bit too loudly. You sighed, wiping the cream from your lips with your finger. “We know the feds are coming,” you started, “So collecting necessary information is key. Find out when the next hits and drop-offs are, who they’re bribing.” Maybe you should’ve been more careful, and maybe it was naive to have this trust in him, but you did. It was a growing worry that nested in the pit of your stomach. “I already have some,” he pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket and slid it across the table,

 “They’re moving arms in two weeks.” You picked up the paper, squinting in the dark. “The back docks? Don’t you guys do it by the bay instead?” Jeongin nodded, “Yeah, but Woojin freaked, and took safety precautions.” You tapped, trying to think of any information that could be proved useful to the both of you. “I have to be honest, Jeongin, it’s gonna take me a while to get good information,” you dropped your head in your hands, rubbing your face and brushing the hair out of your face, “They don’t trust me. But I know for a fact we’re going to be moving drugs in a couple weeks in a jet, Hyunjin is going to attend a game with other leaders.” Jeongin tapped his fingers on the table, letting the pads of his fingers hit it with an echo. “I didn’t know, maybe Woojin will tell the team today. But you do realize…” Jeongin leaned, “We could bring them all down with that game night, right?” You furrowed your eyebrows, racking your brain for all the times that Hyunjin’s father went off for the games. “They leave for two- three weeks, it’s a whole thing. We have some time to prepare, but everyone’s going to be on high alert. In fact, I think one of my teammates is on to me.”

“What? How?”

“He’s the most perceptive person I’ve ever met. But I think he’s on our side.”

“What if he’s not?”

“Then,” he bit your lip, trying to think of a solution but your mind came up blank, “I don’t know. We’re smart, we’ll handle it.”

“I guess I can’t get mad, I know for a fact that Woojin is keeping a close eye on me.”

You downed the last of whatever was in your cup, “We should meet back in a while, if we get caught then they’ll make an example out of us.” He took your cup, and nodded. To your surprise, he took you into a hug. “Be safe.” And then, he disappeared into the depths of abandonment.

Maybe you could’ve ignored the car that was following, maybe you could pretend like your heart wasn’t thumping in your throat and all the blood was rushing to your head. Maybe you could, maybe you couldn’t- same difference. What mattered was that it was happening. It hadn’t started outside of the cafe, nor for a couple blocks- but instead when you passed your regular bus stop.  

 You picked up your pace, finding yourself in a full sprint before you knew it. And then you stopped, it was a compulsion, maybe. You came to a halt, nearly tripping and falling face forward when you turned. You heard the tires screech, and you ran to the window, and in a frenzy- you punched the glass. You hadn’t expected it to break of course, actually, you didn’t know what you were doing at all. What would you gain? More importantly, what would you lose? It happened in slow motion, time seemed to move slower and you swore you could pinpoint the millisecond the glass shattered. You didn’t even feel the pain until you saw the glass litter across your feet.

Hyunjin.

You should’ve expected to see him, you should’ve better acknowledged the fact you could’ve been caught. You should’ve known that your entire plan could’ve been compromised. That didn’t mean you weren’t dumbfounded when you saw Hyunjin with hands on the steering wheel, looking at you worriedly. “Where have you been? I was going to bring you up to the garden.”

“I was walking.”

“This far downtown?” He took his hands off the steering wheel and opened the passenger door. It was more surprising that you had actually broken the glass, it should’ve been bulletproof. “This new?” He sighed, tapping the steering wheel as he drove. “It was.” He stroked your hair, eyes still on the air. “I haven’t been good to you.”

“No, you haven’t.”

He sighed, putting a loose strand behind your ear before returning his hand to the wheel. “You’ve been understanding, and that’s more than I can ask for. But mistreating you? That’s not me. It’s just been hard.”

“I know, Hyunjin.”

He laced his hands in yours and wound them together and kissed your hand. “But I’m still your lover right?” You squeezed his hand. “Of course,” your heartbeat began to beat fast, “But why were you following me?”

“Well, you weren’t back at the estate, and I was just driving around.”

Liar.

“That doesn’t make any sense, how would you find my exact location?”

“I didn’t- I just,” he sighed, pulling the car over, “My dad thinks you’re a threat. So, I saw you leave and I followed you, but I lost you when you transfered lines and waited at the bus stop.”

Liar.

“How could you have lost me if you were following the bus?”

“Cars started to pile up before me, and I lost sight of the bus when two similar one were behind one another.”

Liar!

“What did you see, Hyunjin?”

“I didn’t see anything.” You looked for the tapping on his thigh, and his finger twitched. You stared up at him. If you lied, then you would just be as bad as him. You pressed your forehead against his. “Don’t lie to me, my love.” He sighed, closing his eyes, but didn’t move. “You know me better than my dad,” he laughed bitterly, “I don’t know why I even tried.” He pressed a kiss on your lips, “I know, and I won’t tell my dad, we can do it together,” he whispered, “I’ll protect you.” He kissed you again before he started driving again.

Liar.

“I have a place to show you,” he hummed, “We haven’t been out, hm?” Haven’t been out, ever. Unless of course, it was Hwang related. For all of your life, you had been kept under the confines of your estate, away from the other legacies, away from any normalcy. Your mother said that you should be grateful, at least their estate was large- new rooms seemed to appear the more you explored. You technically weren’t allowed to explore without a tutor, but you were good at hiding. You were good at fighting. It wasn’t Hyunjin’s fault, you knew that. But it was his father’s. Your father was dead, your mother was going to die, and you would be joining them soon. And there was no way it was by god’s hand, but man. You refused to play god, and with this you opened your hand for others to play it for you, make you beg for a mercy only the holy was supposed to grant. Why was it like this? Blood lust, that’s why- something primal you didn’t have within you.

“We’re here.”

A diner, the kind that still served classic milkshakes and was open 24/7. The neon phosphorescent was almost blinding considering how dark it was. You sighed, maybe things weren’t okay, but at least you could pretend.

All the world’s a stage, after all.

He smiled big at you, pushing his door open, “Let’s go! I’ll open your door.” It was a nice form a formality, a sort of chivalry something accustomed Hyunjin to. You found it silly, since you were in sweats, but endearing anyway. He kissed your hand, bowing dramatically as he did so, “My queen, join me on this feast.” You laughed, “Of course, my king.” He swung your hand as you entered the diner, and the door jingled as you both entered. You expected it to be mostly vacant, or for the both of you to be the only ones there, but it a bit busy. There was someone at every couple of booths, but you realized most of them were slightly tipsy. The pair of you sat in the back booth, holding up your menus and peeking over them with only your eyes.

“You’re stupid.”

“I am an acquired taste, my love- and here you are.”

“Not for long.”

“Huh?”

“You heard me.”

You let Hyunjin order for you, you always were indecisive anyway. On the table sat a strawberry milkshake with two straws. You bit the inside of your cheek, trying hard not to let a grin spread from your lips, but you failed. “This is so cheesy.” He leaned over the table, nearly knocking over the glass to plant a kiss on your forehead. “Only for you.”

“Mm, gross.”

“You love it!”

“I do, I do. You got me there.”

You forgot about your problems as you sat there, drinking strawberry milkshake across who you knew would be the only boy you’d ever love like this. “Hyunjin,” you brought your lips back from the straw, “I love you. A lot.” He smiled, squishing his cheeks as he blushed a little. “Maybe I love you back.” You threw a straw wrapper at him and pouted. “Aw, I’m kidding baby. I love you.”

“I’ll kick your ass one of these days.”

“Hot.”

You kicked him under the table, and he grimaced, but shot you a wink. The food arrived and you almost salivated at the sight of it. It tasted as good as it looked, and you don’t think you were ever excited to eat a burger as much as this. “It’s just, ugh,” you groaned, “you know?” Hyunjin laughed, trying to steal one of your fries but you slapped his hand away. “Please don’t cheat on me with a burger, it’d be very humiliating.” He pouted, and you sighed, giving him a clump of your fries. “God, you’re so lucky I’m in love with you.” He blew you a kiss. “I know, otherwise I’d be a dead man.” You nodded, pointing a fry at him, “That is the smartest thing you’ve said tonight,” and you popped the fry in your mouth. “Oh, so not the ‘I love you’?” You furrowed your eyebrows and frowned, “You know what-” Hyunjin stuffed a handful of fries in your mouth. “I’m so sorry, I just can’t make out what you’re saying. Could you repeat that?” You glared at him, but it soon melted into a laugh as you covered your mouth- nearly choking.

“You look so pretty,” he sighed dreamily, staring at you lovingly, “I’m so lucky, you know that?” You scoffed, shaking your head. “Vice versa, my love. I wouldn’t have made it through these years of training without you.” He pouted, opening his arms. “Aw baby, come here.” You sighed, moving to sit on his side of the booth and he put his arms around you, bringing you closer to him. He traced circles on your arm, and fed you fries. “You just wanna steal my food, Hyunjin.”

“True, but I also wanna feel you.”

“I love you, Hyunjin.”

He brought you closer, kissing your forehead, the button of your nose, and then your lips, “I love you too.” You stayed in the diner for a bit more, binging on junk food that was sincerely too good to be called that, talking about nothing particular as the night’s washed out sky bleed sunlight.

But all good things must come to an end.

Liar.

[sam-lives-story]

#SamLives - Chapter 8

“Bump In The Night”

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Also find the latest chapters of this story on [Archive Of Our Own]

October 24th, 2015

Jack had finished recording for the day, and he was more than ready to head to bed. A yawn escaped him and he stretched both arms over his head, arching his back against his desk chair. He felt a few joints pop as he did so. Oof…he’d been sitting for too long. Maybe it was time to invest in one of those standing desks…?

The Irishman stood and ruffled his hair - vibrant green, which was a very recent change for him - to try and get rid of the dent left by his headphones. He took his time in turning off his equipment and shutting everything down before leaving the room. It had been a good recording day. He’d managed to finish Fran Bow today as well, and holy hell if that hadn’t been a good game. He already knew he was going to miss playing it. A soft smile graced his features and he strolled down the hall toward the bathroom, scratching the back of his head. Yeah. Fran was fun. He hoped he got the chance to play another game he could do voices for. Maybe for Undertale? That was one he’d been looking at starting soon too…

A noise from his bedroom made him pause outside the open door, his eyes flicking between the bedroom’s handle and the closed bathroom door further down the hall. What was that…?

The noise didn’t repeat, so Jack ducked his head into his bedroom and turned on the light, frowning. Blue eyes searched the now-illuminated space…and…oh. He rolled his eyes. There was a pile of Sams that he usually kept at the corner of his dresser, stacked up in front of the mirror above his sock drawer. They were from fans, from his community, all sent to him from all over the world. It always made him smile to see them and it made him want more and more to try and go to a convention, so he could meet people face-to-face. He hadn’t been to many yet.

Anyway, he normally kept the Sam pile stacked on the corner of his dresser, but at the moment most of them were on the floor. Not that it surprised him. They were all round, so if one toppled, it was basically expected that a whole bunch of them would roll off the edge too. Ah well. Jack padded across the room in socked feet and crouched to pick them up, stacking them in his arms one by one, standing once he’d gather them all. He dumped them onto the dresser again with the intent of - maybe - straightening them in the morning. Then he turned to the door, ready to leave it at that.

Which he would have done…if it weren’t for the fact that he saw something move out of the corner of his eye.

Jack paused mid-step and glanced over his shoulder again, more tense than before. What was that? He narrowed his eyes at the pile of Sams…and that’s when he saw it. One of the Sams moved. Jack blinked and his breath hitched. What the hell…? He crouched in front of the dresser and he stared at the one he thought had moved. It was about the size of a normal eye, maybe a little bigger…and it was almost shiny. Not plush, like the rest.

Jack blinked.

Sam blinked back.

“fUCKIN’ JAYSUS–“

In his haste to scramble back from the dresser, Jack tripped over his own feet and ended up sprawling backwards across his bedroom floor. He shuffled backward until his back was pressed against the front of his nightstand with the knob from the drawer digging into his shoulder blade. What. The fuck. What the fuck. What the FUCK?!

“Sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry—!”

Jack was breathing heavily and his eyes were wide as saucers…but the tiny, scared voice he heard in the back of his mind made him pause. It was unfamiliar yet familiar all at once, unknown but a friend. He swallowed thickly and sat up a little, shifting to his knees.

“…h-hello?”

A small squeak sounded from the other side of the room and Jack saw the Sam pile twitch. He took a deep breath. Jack had an odd feeling that he knew exactly what was going on, as ridiculous as it sounded in his head. This…this was absolutely impossible, but at the same time…it was the only thing that made sense. He stood up slowly.

“Sam?”

It felt stupid, saying it out loud. He was talking to a pile of plushies, why should he expect a response? But then…

“J-Jack?”

Jack took another, shaking breath and inched forward across the bedroom. Sam - real, living Sam - was sitting between a giant Sam plush the size of a basketball, and a few smaller ones that had been hand-knitted by fans. He was shaking where he sat, his optic nerve - tail? - curled around his front as if to protect himself. His eye - pupil? Iris? He was an eye - was wide and it was clear that he was scared, nervous.

Sam looked just as scared as Jack felt, if not more so.

“Y-Yeah,” Jack breathed, nodding. “Yeah. Jack, that’s…that’s me…” He took a few more steps closer to the dresser.

Sam squeaked again and wiggled backward across the dresser’s surface, only unable to go very far because of the giant plush behind him. Jack gasped softly and shook his head, a sudden protectiveness surging through him.

“No…no no no, it’s okay, I’m sorry!” He held up his hands and stopped right in front of the dresser. He crouched until he was more at eye-level - literally - with Sam. “Sorry buddy. Did I…scare ya?”

Sam blinked up at him - how the hell did he blink without having eyelids? - and seemed to nod. The little eyeball had yet to stop shaking. He stared at Jack for a long moment, neither of them saying a word, both of them watching the other. It was Sam who broke the silence.

“…not mad?”

Jack was still trying not to think too hard on the fact that he was hearing a voice in the back of his head and instead just shook his head, a soft smile playing across his lips.

“No, o’ course not,” he spoke softly. A quiet chuckle left him. “Why would I be mad?”

“You…shouted.” The words sounded whispered in the back of his mind and Sam hid behind his tail. Optic nerve? …tail. Jack decided it was a tail. Definitely. That made it cuter.

“Well ya did scare the ever-livin’ shite out o’ me,” Jack admitted with a sheepish smile. He rested his chin on his arms on the edge of the dresser. “Can’t say I’ve ever seen somethin’ like you before.” A pause. “…and I still can’t decide if I’m dreamin’ or not.”

A small, almost childlike giggle came to life in his mind and he couldn’t help the affectionate chuckle that left him at the sound. Sam peeked out from beneath his tail, his expression seeming more cheerful than before, if not a little nervous still. (How did an eyeball show emotions? It was so strange to watch…it was like his iris and pupil moved in a way that they shouldn’t, like they were his sole form of facial expression and they morphed to match his emotions. It was weird as fuck…and so damn cool.)

“If you’re dreaming then so am I,” Sam giggled. He seemed to slowly become more comfortable and he let his tail drop away from his ‘face’. Pupil? Iris.

“That’s exactly what dream-Sam would say,” Jack teased. Teasing and joking. His default.

While it wasn’t the best way to face a problem, it sure made him feel a hell of a lot more comfortable in the face of such an uncertain situation. He glanced toward the still-open door, then back to Sam. What would Sam do if he left to brush his teeth? Would he even still be here at all? Or would this all turn out to be some hallucination brought on my his sleep-deprived and caffeine-fueled state of mind…?

“Jack…?”

“Hm?” Jack blinked his thoughts away and dragged his eyes back to Sam, who kept glancing up at him and away again with a nervous look in his eye. “What’s up?”

“Can I…sleep with you, on the bed? I’m scared…”

And, shit, if that wasn’t the most adorable and precious thing he’d heard in his life. His heart melted and an adoring smile flickered to life on his face. Forget brushing his teeth. One night without clean teeth wouldn’t kill him.

“Of course you can,” Jack nodded, and after a moment’s uncertainty he reached toward Sam. The little eye shrank in on himself nervously, and Jack instantly paused in his motions. He thought about it…then he turned his hand over, palm up. And he waited. He didn’t move, didn’t breath. Sam eyed his hand with uncertainty at first. Jack could almost feel his apprehension, his nervousness…or maybe he really could feel it? It was the same feeling he got when Sam was talking to him, a little nudge in the back of his mind. Jack didn’t have long to ponder it however, because as soon as he felt it, it was gone again. Sam jumped lightly onto Jack’s palm - eyeballs could jump? Who knew? - and he wrapped his tail around one of Jack’s fingers, holding on.

Sam felt almost as one might expect a sentient eyeball to feel, Jack supposed. Smooth, almost soft. Not slimy though. Just…smooth. Like he was holding a baby. A very green, very tiny baby shaped like a ping pong ball.

…yeah, great metaphor Jack. You should definitely give up YouTube to become an author. Definitely.

But beyond that, Sam was surprisingly warm. It was almost comforting, and as Jack carefully carried the little eyeball over to his bed he couldn’t help but wonder why he had even been scared of the little guy in the first place. Come on, it was Sam he was talking about here. He’d never pictured Sam as anything other than friendly and sweet…so why would the real deal be any different?

Forget the fact that Sam shouldn’t even exist at all, because Jack was still wholly convinced that this was just a very realistic dream.

Resigning himself to sleeping in his t-shirt and boxers, Jack tipped Sam onto the other pillow and shucked off his jeans, slipping into bed and flicking off the lights. He felt Sam bounce across the covers a few times before snuggling in near his chest…and as Jack closed his eyes he could have sworn he heard the little eyeball purring.

What a weird dream.

When Jack awoke the next morning, it was to glass breaking somewhere in the apartment. He sat bolt-upright on the bed, eyes flying wide and pulse racing. What the hell…? His gaze flickered rapidly around the room, taking in the scene. The Sam pile on his dresser was still in disarray from last night, but a quick search of his bed didn’t offer him any proof that Sam himself had ever been there. The little eyeball was gone, and for a brief, relieving moment Jack could almost convince himself that it had all been a very realistic, very strange dream.

Almost.

Except for the fact that not too long after he had been awoken by shattering glass, a small, distant voice had started murmuring in the back of his mind in a quick, panicked tone.

“Oh no, oh no, oh no…!”

Jack swallowed thickly. Either this was a very long and very convincing dream…or what he had witnessed last night had been far from fiction. His eyes fell on the barely-opened bedroom door and they remained there, locked on the sliver of light between door and frame. Wake up. Wake up, Jack. He had to wake up…

The Irishman reached across his own body with a shaking hand to pinch at his arm.

The fact that he could feel the pain from it didn’t lessen his fears whatsoever.

Jack took one breath, then another. Sam’s voice in the back of his head was still distant and equally panicked. Obviously something had happened out there…so Jack dragged himself out of bed and shuffled across the bedroom to figure out what had been broken. It was more of an afterthought than anything else that had him stepping into his slippers. Just in case. The hallway beyond his bedroom was illuminated by white ceiling lights, lights that he only now realized he had never turned off last night. He made his way down the hall and turned left at the door to his recording room, passing it by in favor of heading toward the main part of the apartment. The hallway opened out into the living room, and beyond that was a half-wall and a doorway that led to the kitchen.

The kitchen. That’s where Sam’s voice was coming from, Jack realized, because as he drew closer to the doorway the small voice in the back of his head grew slowly in volume, just like it would if Sam had been speaking aloud. God, this was still so strange…

“Sam?”

A squeak sounded from somewhere in the kitchen - an actual squeak, not one in his mind - and Jack ducked through the doorway, looking around. Broken glass sparkled against the edge of the counter and the kitchen floor, the remains of what Jack could easily make out as a glass from the cupboard above the counter. Blue eyes raised slowly until he spotted Sam.

The little eyeball was hiding just barely out of sight on the bottom shelf of the cupboard, his tail tucked around himself and his entire being shaking. He had his eye closed tightly and he looked so very scared. Jack didn’t say anything for a moment.

“…Sam? What happened? You okay, buddy?”

“Sorry sorry sorry sorry–”

“Hey, woah, Sam. Calm down!” Jack stepped carefully over the majority of the glass and reached up, gently lifting Sam out of the cupboard and cradling the little eyeball close to his chest. It was almost automatic, but at the same time he was a little nervous. He didn’t know how to handle the little guy just yet. How gentle did he have to be? Would he hurt Sam if he wasn’t careful? Sam squeaked at being picked up, but he didn’t seem hurt. Just…scared. He buried his ‘face’ into the blue and grey fabric of Jack’s t-shirt, hiding.

“What th’ hell were you tryin’ to do?” Jack asked, glancing at what remained of his glassware. “Those things are heavy for ya. You could’ve gotten hurt!”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t…d-didn’t mean to break it…just wanted water…”

“Nah, it’s fine, I have more glasses. But you – wait. Water?” Jack asked stupidly. He stared down at Sam’s shaking form for a moment. “Ye mean…to drink?”

“Uh-huh.”

“But you don’t have a mouth.”

The words sounded idiotic leaving his mouth. But really, could you blame him? How the hell did an eyeball drink water?

“I don’t…um…need a mouth.”

“…uh…” Jack blinked blankly at Sam, then sighed. Okay. Sure. Whatever. Sam existed, and that was insane, so why the hell would he need a mouth? He didn’t need a mouth to talk, he’d made that quite apparent already. “…yeah, sure. Hang on…”

Jack reached up into the cupboard and pushed a few things aside, pulling out a small plastic bowl instead. Just in case. He filled it most of the way one-handedly and stepped over the broken glass again, sitting the bowl down on a part of the counter that wasn’t littered with sparkling debris. Sam perked up and shifted in Jack’s hold, peering over the edge of Jack’s hand with a wide eye. He looked back at Jack with something akin to wonder in his gaze, as though Jack helping him was an absolutely magical moment.

“Thank you!”

If Jack hadn’t already fallen into total adoration when it came to his odd little eyeball son, those two words would have finally tipped him over the edge. He chuckled and carefully set Sam on the counter beside the bowl.

“‘Course, bud. No problem.” He smiled softly. “Now stay away from the broken glass, alright? I’ll get it all cleaned up. Don’t want ya hurtin’ yourself, right?”

Sam giggled. Cute kid.

The glass didn’t take long to clean up, not really. It was only a cup. Jack figured Sam had been trying to get it out of the cupboard and it had fallen. How he had even gotten up there was a mystery to Jack, but he could ask about that later. For now he was still processing the fact that Sam was definitely very real, and definitely sitting two feet away on his kitchen counter. Jack leaned the broom against his sink and let his eyes linger on Sam for a moment, the little eyeball splashing happily in the plastic bowl.

How was it possible that Sam even existed? Sam was a fictional character, an imaginary, personified version of his own infected eye from childhood. Sam wasn’t even named until after Jack had been doing YouTube for a few years. It was realistically impossible.

Sam wiggled in the bowl, and Jack now realized that half the water was gone from the container. How…? He paid more attention, and this time he noticed that every so often Sam would close his eye and it looked almost like the little eyeball was taking a breath…then the water would go down a little bit.

“How’re you doin’ that?” he asked, more bluntly than he meant to. Sam blinked his eye open and spun around in the water to look up at Jack.

“Doing what?”

“Drinking…sorta.”

“Oh, um…” Sam blinked and looked down at the water he was sitting in. He was quiet for a moment, thinking, then he looked back up at Jack. “I don’t really know. Kinda like…um…a sponge, I think?”

“A sponge.” A smile twitched at the corner of his lips. “Maybe your name should’ve been Sam Septicsponge instead.”

Sam giggled in the back of Jack’s mind and the YouTuber found himself chuckling as well despite himself. A sponge. So Sam basically absorbed water in order to drink it. That was so fucking cool…and so fucking weird.

It was official. He was gonna need coffee for this.

Oddly enough, going about his usual morning routine with Sam around…wasn’t that strange or different. He made his coffee and some breakfast and sat down to watch some television, all the while thumbing through his social media to catch up on what he’d missed while he was asleep. Sam had hopped up onto his shoulder to go along with him when he left the kitchen, and the little eyeball just ended up curled up on the couch beside Jack while he ate his food. At one point a single Cheerio fell off his spoon onto the tabletop and Sam had perked up, curiosity getting the best of him as he bounced up onto the table. He poked at it with his tail and rolled around it, eyeing it from all sides, then Jack watched in odd fascination while Sam “ate” it. The little eyeball got right up close to the piece of cereal and rolled over it, and it sort of…disintegrated and faded into the green surface of Sam’s…eye. And it was gone. Eaten, apparently.

Jack had to force himself to stop staring after that happened.

Recording was almost the same as before, except now there was a green eyeball sitting on his desk beside his keyboard and beside another fan-made version of Sam that he kept there for fun. Jack had to work a little harder than usual to keep his focus on the game in front of him, especially when he was hearing occasional reactions from Sam in the back of his head. At first he was almost worried that people would suspect something was up, that he wasn’t quite as into his recording as usual…but he brushed it off. It was Trollface Quest. It was a goofy little game, and if anybody did think he was acting out of the ordinary, it wouldn’t be that big of a deal, would it?

At some point between recording Trollface Quest and starting up Undertale for the first time, Jack noticed a bit of silence in the room that hadn’t been there before. It took him a moment to realize what the difference was.

Sam. Sam was fast asleep on the corner of the desk, his tail curled around him and his eye closed. Despite himself, Jack felt a small, affectionate smile find its way to his face.

At the start of all of this - in the moment of panic last night, when Jack had seen Sam come to life for the first time - he had been so scared, so panicked. So downright terrified. But now, only half a day later…he was beginning to think that he shouldn’t let himself worry. He shouldn’t let himself be so frightened. This was Sam, after all. Sam, who he had created himself…Sam, who he had always pictured to be a friend of his. Sam wouldn’t hurt him. He never could. The poor little guy had been so scared when he’d first shown up too, as though he thought Jack might throw him out or try to get rid of him. And he was depending on Jack, now.

Having Sam in his life, Jack realized, would be a lot like having a pet, and a lot like having a kid. Sam felt like something in-between the two. A familiar, his mind supplied. A friend he could count on no matter what.

Jack took off his headphones and stood up from his seat, slipped around the blue curtain he had hung up for recording and crossed the room. He picked up the shirt that was still lying there in a crumpled heap from - what - two days ago? - and brought it back to the desk. It only took him a few seconds to wad it up into something akin to a nest, and when he moved Sam off of the hard desk surface and onto the more comfortable bundle of fabric, he heard Sam let out a little contented sigh in the back of his mind.

Yeah…yeah, this could work. This could be really, really good for him, for both of them.

Five minutes later found Jack with his headphones on and his recording in progress, and when the screen appeared for him to name his character in Undertale, he only had to glance at the little nest on the corner of his desk to know what name he would choose.

‘Sam.’

Present Day

Outside the cafe, Jack hit ‘end’ on his phone screen and tucked it into his pocket with a shaking hand, having just finished his call with his mother. He took a slow breath and closed his eyes, focussing on the feeling of Sam’s tail brushing against his fingers from inside his hoodie pocket, focussing on his calming connection in the back of his mind. Sam had been a constant in his life for going on two years now. The thought that the same thing that brought something so pure and happy into his life, could also create something as horrible as Anti…? He shuddered and pushed the thought away. Sam was different. Sam was his friend, his companion. Sam was family.

The Irishman collected himself and stepped back into the cafe, his eyes already seeking out Mark at their table. The other YouTuber looked up from Tim’s pet carrier the moment he saw Jack approaching.

“Want me to hold onto your phone still?”

“…y-yeah. Yeah, actually…that…thanks…” Jack couldn’t get the phone out of his hand quick enough. His breathing and heart rate only began to settle back down to normal once the device was out of sight in Mark’s pocket. He closed his eyes and his free hand tightened into a fist against the tabletop.

“Take a breath, Seán,” Mark said calmly, evenly, a smile in his words. “You did good. How’s your mom?”

“She’s–” Jack broke off and forced himself to breath. Just...breath. Ma. Think about her, not about– “Sh-She’s…” He cleared his throat, forced his fist to uncurl. The action made him wince, his neck still sore from what Anti had– “...she’s good. I told her I missed her, told her to say hi ta Gizmo for me.”

“Did you tell her what happened?”

“Eh…” Jack shrugged sheepishly. “Not...exactly. She hasn’t seen the stream, an’ I warned her not to watch it. I don’t want her seein’ that. She doesn’t watch my videos anyway, but still. Better ta warn her away. An’ it’s not like...not like I can jus’ tell her about my evil alter-ego. I doubt she’d believe me anyway.” A mirthless huff of laughter escaped him. “A few years ago, if anyone had told me I’d be in this situation...shite. I’d call ‘em mad...but I s’ppose after Sam...it’s easier to believe impossible things now, yeah?” He chuckled weakly, and Mark let out a knowing hum.

“Mhm...yeah, I guess so.” A pause. “Have you talked to Robin?”

Jack’s head jerked up, his brow furrowed in confusion.

“Not since before the–” The stream. He cleared his throat with a wince. If Mark was suggesting he make another phone call...frankly, he wasn’t sure he had that in him today. “...d-didn’t you talk to him?”

“Well yeah,” Mark nodded, shrugging as he slipped some crackers to Tim. He glanced up to Jack again with a gently pointed look. “But I didn’t tell him the details of what happened, remember? I didn’t tell him what’s really been going on. I think you should do that yourself.”

Jack swallowed, the action catching on a lump in his throat. Tell...Robin? Well, sure, Robin needed to know eventually but...but couldn’t it wait? Or...or better yet, couldn’t Robin just figure it out from the clip on the stream? Or twitter posts, or YouTube comments, or - or–

“You do know you eventually have to tell him everything that’s been happening, right?” Mark’s voice cut through some of his rapidfire thoughts, and Jack flicked his eyes upward toward his friend for the briefest of moments before fixating on the tabletop. “And I mean everything. He’s your closest friend on this side of the world, and your editor. Might not be my place to say so, but he deserves to hear the full truth from you , not draw conclusions from some fanpost on Twitter...or secondhand rumors from another YouTuber.”

“I know,” Jack nodded stiffly, running his free hand through his already-unruly hair while his other continued to seek comfort from just knowing Sam was nearby. The eyeball nuzzled up against his palm inside the hoodie pocket. “I know, I know he does, I know I should tell ‘im but…” He made a pained expression and his fingertips ghosted across the bruised skin of his neck. “...but how do I…how do I explain any of this? How do I apologize for lyin’ to him and hiding all this from him? I...I trusted him with Sam, I should have trusted him with this. And - and - and beyond that–”

It was more than just keeping secrets from his friend. It was more than just not wanting to use his phone right now. It was more than that, because the mere thought of having to explain everything...of having to verbally repeat what had happened in his recording room, what had been happening for weeks...it felt like he would be reliving the moment again. He’d been trying so hard to avoid even thinking about what had happened in too much detail. Explaining all of it, everything, to Robin–

The Irishman’s thoughts were a loud and frantic blur, a quiet panic settling into his chest, just like it had that morning when Mark had brought up the events of the stream. His knee was bouncing beneath the table and his hand - the one not fixated on keeping contact with Sam - had found an imperfection in the table’s surface, his fingers fidgeting and his nails picking at the odd little crack there.

“...beyond that,” he continued hoarsely, “how do I tell him my evil alter-ego came to life and attempted to...to k-kill me, live on camera in front of thousands of people? How do I explain that? How do I – god, the reason I hid it from him in the f-first place, was ‘cause tellin’ somebody else what was h-happening would...it would’ve made it so much more r-real. But then - then the stream happened, and...fuck, Mark. How do I–”

Jack’s voice broke and he ducked his head, fighting back tears he didn’t know were welling in his eyes. He heard Mark’s chair scuff against the cafe floor and felt a warm presence near his right side. He didn’t dare look up.

“I won’t make you tell Robin the truth if you really don’t want to,” Mark told him, and Jack saw the taller man crouch down beside his chair out of the corner of his eye. He felt a warm hand on his shoulder. “But you should try. Maybe not right now, but soon. Robin should be in the loop about all this. I mean, c’mon man, if I tried to keep something like this from Amy or Kathryn - shit. I don’t think I could do it.” It was quiet for a moment, and Jack was vaguely aware of the fact that many people had left since he’d gone out to make his phone call. “I can try and help explain it to him if you want. I’m literally going through the exact same bullshit right now. Minus the attempts on my life, but you know what I mean.”

“You’d do that?” Jack asked, glancing to the side to catch Mark’s gaze. The American’s expression was warm and reassuring, just like his tone of voice, and Jack couldn’t help but feel at least a little hopeful thanks to his friend. Mark smiled, the corners of his eyes crinkling with the motion.

“Hell yeah I’d do that,” Mark nodded. “But you’ve gotta promise me something.”

“What?”

“I wanna see Sam fly.”

And Jack was giggling, the laughter echoed by Sam in the back of his mind. Leave it to Mark to turn a serious situation into something funny and lighthearted.

“Heh...sure. It’s a deal.”

[A/N] So…how about them Egos, huh? ^^ Dude Jack has been going NUTS with the videos recently! I’m happy to see both him and Robin having so much fun with the new, creative content. Good for them! On another note, apologies that this took so long to get out! I had this chapter written a week and a half ago and I honestly forgot to post it. So here! But just a note, future updates WILL be slow. The first few were out with only a day between them, but it’s harder to find time to write now. I’m not giving up on this though! I have ideas! Just you wait and see! <3

Also find the latest chapters of this story on [Archive Of Our Own]

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[wynndygoon]

1st Anniversary!

This will be sort of a recap post encompassing all of what has happened over this first year. So get ready, this will be a long post!

I started this blog shortly after I got my drawing tablet as a means to try and get better at using the damn thing. Needless to say, I think that it has been more than a success and has also been an amazing opportunity to meet all of you amazing people who have gotten invested in Noma and what she is and who she is as a character. And, while this past year hasn’t been perfect, it has been a wondorous experience filled with laughs and new bonds that frankly, I never would have made otherwise. Same goes to me trying out new things such as streaming, downloading Discord, and just flat out putting my art out there in this world for people to see and hopefully fall in love with.

So this whole blog, and the lady we all know and love, Noma, wouldn’t have been here if it weren’t for chance. If you are new or never read the post explaining her past, the short version is: I had a Blaziken that hatched from an Egg in pokemon Black. It was a female, and I named her Noma, and it turned out that she had a bunch of good EV’s and IV’s, so I used her a lot through the game. Well when X and Y came out, I got the launch event Torchic that had better stats than Noma, so in a stupid move, I wonder Traded her away, hoping that someone else would like her just as much as I did. Fast forward a few months before I started this blog, and one of my friends traded me a bunch of pokemon since he didn’t really play much anymore. Long story short, he traded me back Noma. So while I had this idea about starting a pokemon ask blog, I never knew which pokemon i wanted to use, until Noma popped back into my life. As soon as that happened, I knew I had to make her my character.

So next came the design phase, and while I never was amazing at creating characters, I knew that I had to try and make her look unique to stand out from the crowd. And When I say unique, i think I went a bit too overboard with her, but at least we can still tell she is a blaziken, right? Anyways, I knew that I wanted to make her somewhat Tomboy-ish, while still having her be feminine as to not confuse people. I also knew that one easy way to accomplish this was to make her a little more fluffy and poofy, so believe it or not, I started with her hair design and went from there. I knew that if i could nail the hair, then everything would kinda fall into place. So that is why she has just SO MUCH HAIR, because form a design point, it was necessary. Also, making her wear clothes would help her stand out seeing as many poke-ask blogs leave their characters nude. Speaking of which, I am going to address something about Noma right here: SHE DOESN’T HAVE BOOBS ALRIGHT. I know it looks like she does, but since she has so many feathers and is very fluffy, wearing clothes would be difficult. So what she has to do is stuff her chest fluff into her tank tops, and purely because there is so much of it, it lumps up under the shirt. So all the people asking to see Noma’s “Chicken Breasts” ( those were some real asks BTW), sorry, no luck there.

________________________________________________________________

  ��                THIS SECTION IS ALL OF MY FAVORITE ASKS AND                                           REDESIGNS OF NOMA

So, now that I have the character created, It’s time to draw her and make a post on here. Im not gonna lie, that first night was nerve wracking. I didn’t have the slightest clue as to what was going to happen, if anyone would see the post, or hell, if anyone would like it.

But here she is, the main attraction in her first appearance on the blog. Happy, inviting, and not nearly as fluffy as what she is now. For some of you newer followers, yes, this is how it all began. Notice that she isn’t as tall, or fluffy, or as vibrant as what you know her as, but yes, this is what everyone saw for a couple of months while I started out. This WAS her design.

So, with this outta the way, it’s time to answer some asks, but to do that, I had to think of her personality. So, I just made her personality be fun. someone who can be sassy, sarcastic, kind, loveable, and genuinely nice. It’s up to you to decide o how well that comes across though.

This ask was: “Why are you such a Boss Ass Blaziken?” and this is where I went into her story in a little more detail and made it feel more like a story rather than a simple explanation of events. It was  the first question I got and I had a lot of fun working on it because at least one person took the time out of their day to send me something.

Here is Noma explaining her Favorite Region that she has been to. And this was kind of a first for the blog since we got to see what she looked like below the crop top. And yes, its just a crop top with her chest fluff stuffed into it. Take note how much shorter she was when I started this blog. Like, I never realized this before, but for a blaziken, she was a midget. Also, can we just ignore some of the glaring anatomy issues here? I was still kinda working on her design here.

And here we reach the first Big re-design of Noma. While not much besides her hair changed, this was the part of her life that she started dyeing her hair different colors to make her design more unique. She also has a bit more of a neck and her hands are also more suited to a blaziken’s with the gray part instead of all red like the first post. In this ask, she was answering what her favorite past times are. Out of all the asks that I have done so far back then, THIS was my favorite to work on, just changing up her hair style felt so refreshing and  honestly makes her look so much different.

THIS. FREAKING. ASK. this was the one that started a bunch of people to harass me to essentially draw nsfw of Noma. At the time of answering this ask, I was midway through a show called Panty and Stocking, go check it out if you haven’t, it’s hilarious and really good. But the ask was: “What is your favorite hairstyle?” So I decided to have a little fun and I started out just drawing the hair to make the reference to Panty and Stocking, but I thought that nobody would actually catch the reference, so I decided to go big or go home and reference the entire character of Scanty. If only I knew what kind of hell I would have unleashed for the next few months. Despite all of the perverted asks and messages I received, this was an insanely fun ask to draw, and it was also a challenge to try and recreate Scanty, but in a Blaziken form. Also, notice how her hands reverted back to red. I never said I was consistent.

So that slightly NSFW ask was the last actual drawing i posted for quite a while because then, I started college and was so nervous and scared and focused on doing well that i just didn’t have time to draw or play video games because of all the stress. I would literally wake up, go to school, go to work, come home, and sleep. and that was it. My next few posts actually weren’t Noma related, so I won’t cover them.

This was the first ask I had for ASK MAGIC which had Noma’s type change to water for 3 asks. Each of these weren’t all that exciting, but I am including this here because it was a milestone for the blog that NO ONE HAS USED SINCE! HINT HINT.

This wasn’t an ask, just a drawing idea I had for Halloween. She is still rocking her crazy hair with 3 different colors now and frankly, I have no idea what I was thinking giving her a rooster comb AND and ponytail, but hey, it works. SO if you couldn’t tell she went as a rooster for Halloween and her hands also magically changed back to red. But she also dyed her chest fluff in the shape of a heart which was another small design change.

HERE SHE IS THE FIRST MAJOR REDESIGN THAT ACTUALLY CHANGED SOME STUFF ABOUT HER. First of all, she doesn’t have the weird red neck that she had that just made her chest fluff look glued on, her fluff is on the entirety of her neck, and her neck is now longer, giving here a taller appearance. I also changed the look of her chest fluff to look like it surrounds her from behind also, and I changed the fluff on her face here too. Sure they may not be the biggest changes, but they made her a hell of a lot easier to draw and i think made her look better overall too.

This is just a better look of her, and is also my icon. See how she looks less like a midget and more graceful? The re-design was for the greater good.

This ask was SUPER fun: “My last ask was mean, but if you could choose any other type, what would it be”. This was when i could encompass all of what made Noma, Noma. The new redesign looks flawless, and we actually got to see an almost full body drawing of Noma. Glaring anatomy issues aside, I still really think that this was one of my better works of Noma.

I had a Thanskgiving ask set aside to put here, but I am really not too proud of that one, and also because it was during the time when I lost my grandmother, so I’m just going to leave it out so I don’t get too emotional about it.

You think I would have learned my lesson about showing Noma in anything REMOTELY NSFW, but nope, here we have her in her underwear. The ask was: “I am liking this new look!”  and yeah, I tried to go for a cheap visual gag, not only in the fact that she isn’t decent, but also in the name of her boxers. American Eagle in the pokemon world would more than likely be Unovan Braviary, like come on, that’s comedy silver at best.

Look at this Eye-sore. I tried to do a candy cane look wit her hair, but I think it fell flat and looks too busy. But the Ask was: “Do you have any jewelry?” While this doesn’t look as good as I hoped it would have, this was certainly a lot of fun to draw.

This was my absolute favorite non-ask post to draw because i used my actual ugly christmas sweater to design hers. I know the perspective is off here, but that is purely because of the angle I took the picture at.

THIS COMIC WAS AN ABSOLUTE BLAST TO DRAW, PLUS IT ALSO INTRODUCED NOMA’S LOVE INTEREST, EM, WHICH IS STILL A PART OF THIS BLOG SO SEND HIM SOME ASKS PLEASE. ALSO I DO NOT OWN EM, HE IS A CHARACTER OF BANANAMUTTBREAD, SO GO GIVE HIM A FOLLOW, HE IS AN AMAZING PERSON.

This was a difficult drawing to do, not because of the characters, but because of the shading and lighting, and yes, I know, its not the best, But I am still very proud of it nonetheless. But, yeah, this is a mash up of Lethal League which is an amazing game and Noma. The reason I chose Candyman to draw, was because he was simple, and because he is a pain in the ass to fight against.

By this point in the blog’s life, I had just bought my dog Bella, and started a new semester at college. With my toughest classes all piled on top of each other, i didn’t have much time to draw, so there wasn’t much to be posted then. However, I did introduce a new character, not a pokemon, but instead a bee character I came up with. Her name is Grain, and she is super cute, so go check out the art i made of her!

With me posting again halfway through last semester, the first ask I got was about Noma’s hairstyle. To be honest, I have no idea what kind of style that is, so let’s just move on.

Oh boy, my first piece i did on stream. This was another small redesign I did just to get back into the swing of redrawing Noma and making sure I could remember how to draw her. also, I tested out a new form of shading that I really like and will probably continue to use from here on out.

[cuntess-carmilla]

asking advice, venting, in case you dont have the energy to deal with that right now. please feel free to just delete this, i dont have anyone im comfortable talking about this to, and i dont wish to cross boundaries // i sent a few asks before about debilitating nausea, heart palpitations, brain fog, trying to figure out if it was dysautonomic symptoms, and.. i understand you're a stranger and i dont wish to dump anything on you, but i tried to bring it up with my therapist and a few other people, and called for a doctors appointment a few times (w/o getting one), and while my therapist is lovely and suggested "physical" therapy (as in combining some physical exercises with my regular therapy) to address it, she thinks its primarily depression and ptsd, and ive had the worker who comes to my house to help suggest coming with me to the appointment to make sure im taken seriously, ive now come to a stage where i.. doubt my own perception of my reality and whether anything i figured as excessive unwellness is just me being unable to connect cause to effect. i dont have the best exercise and eating and sleeping habits, but i tried so hard for a few months, taking my vitamins and all and now im getting worse again with my mental health and i just feel very hypocondriac and self obsessed. i'm off all my meds now too to really like, outrule those as a cause for my physical unwellness and i feel like im pushing myself so hard to be well and take care of myself. i guess what im asking is.. should i still push for a proper dr's appointment? ive had bloodwork done in the past year and i had a heart check when i was an older teen (for heart palpitations and chest pain that were then attributed to anxiety) so those are ruled out as causes. and i know youre not a doctor but im just feeling very lost and unsure if im just blowing everything out of proportion. sorry for this, im having a hard moment and i hope i havent incorrectly assessed the appropriateness of this. i hope you have a lovely day, please please dont feel obligated to reply ! i'll sit on this and figure it out eventually im sure. thank you for all of your informative posts and kind vibes

(also your desktop theme is really pretty and you look positively LOVELY in your sidebar image!!)

Thank you for all the compliments. <3

Yes, I think you should absolutely 100% push to get your physical health assessed.

I'm afraid most therapists are very invested, both monetarily and intellectually, in everything circling back to their own evil profession, so while it sucks, I'm not surprised at all that your therapist is attributing your very likely dysautonomic symptoms to mental stuff. I hate that this often leads to succeeding at gaslighting undiagnosed chronically ill people like you.

In general, whenever doctors can't find an answer without putting the effort we're paying them to put, they immediately play the MENTAL ILLNESS card, because, what would they have to prove there? There are no concrete tests for psychiatrized conditions, so they can just bullshit their way to getting you out of their offices by saying it's Just Depression/Anxiety. Their professional word against your Crazy, Delusional, unprofessional word.

If it makes you feel less like you're just delusional, remember that plenty of people (especially people who're not slender dyadic cis white men) have their CANCER misdiagnosed as anxiety/depression/etc very often, a terrible deadly illness that has had testing well developed and standardized for decades that gives clear answers, and doctors and therapists are so stuck in their ways that they still just go nah and tell them it's Just Anxiety. My sister was disbelieved about her gastrointestinal issues until they shoved a camera down her esophagus and saw that her entire digestive tract is nearly destroyed. My ex shrink heard me tell her about my hair falling off and plenty of other shit she should've been able to tell were maybe Not because I'm supposedly bipolar and she just acted like it was nothing.

You tried doing everything right that should work for a person who's not actually physically ill and it didn't work. Doesn't that tell you that maybe your therapist is wrong, sweetheart? If anything, you're describing here another classic Chronically Ill Experience. Almost all of us have gone or are going through this. I have gone through it and I'm sitting here already officially diagnosed even though I felt no one was ever going to take me seriously/believe me. Give it a go, please.

Have a lovely day too, babe. Rest enough if you can.

[markhobz]

The Ugly Life of a Cinematographer

Ive been so busy here in Iran currently filming "Layers of Lies" that I haven't had a chance for a day off to take a look around as to whats been going on in my personal life. So many people inbox me on social media mentioning how much they would love to be in my position or joining me on set and doing what i am doing. I admit I absolutely love what I do and have been very fortunate to have had some amazing projects come my way. With all those people on the outside seeing my career as an opportunity for adventure, art and travelling around the world, they don't really see what the bigger part of this career choice has to hold.

I love what I do and you couldn't bribe me to change my field of work, this is what I live for. In saying that though there are some hidden truths behind the curtain of what really lies behind the life of a DOP or pretty much most people working in the film industry. What I am about to write below is based on my own personal experiences. But through my eyes and ears on my travels around film sets around the world, I think 90% of film buffs can relate to what is below. So for those who have always wanted to work in film or just want to take some insight into the life of doing film, here are some ugly truths about my profession.

9-5 DOES NOT EXIST

There is no such thing as a normal 40 hour week in this field. I don't recall the last time i had a 10 or 20 minute break every 3-4 hours. Its always been go go go. If regular hours or a routine is very important to you, than I would suggest you to move onto another career because it will simply NEVER happen in the film industry.

I think 95% of the time doing my job and making sure its done right means I need to put in extra hours, effort and energy to get the best quality results. Its always showing up early and leaving late. Even when I get home or to my accomodation when working away, im always having to do more research, pre-plan, run over pre-vis again and again and always checking out what the latest trends in the industry are just to ensure things are set straight and in order. Especially on lengthy projects like feature films I have to spend extra time in pre production with location scouting, prepping, pre-vis or ensuring the edit or color grade goes correctly for the story. Most of the time you do these extra chores with little or no extra pay and always during your own free time without any thank you's or recognition. This is where you just suck it up and push on through, as a true professional should.

The film industry is not a place where you can just sit and have things handed to you. If you are not willing to make sacrifices of your own time and you own schedules to further your career or skills, then honestly move on. 

NO REGULAR SALARY

I think this stretches across to other freelancers aswell. This is the roller coaster ride of this career choice which can be emotional. When it rains sometimes it pours, and sometimes it just spits a few drops from the sky. When work is coming in be grateful and stay busy as hell because you never know when the drought is coming or when the big project you have had lined up gets delayed and you've had to cancel all other jobs for its original scheduling. There have been months where 12,000€ comes in and then some months were 120€ is your best. There are some months where im working 7 days and some months where you are just baffled trying to pitch and score the next gig. Staying active is your only combat to this ride, and it can be emotional and nerve racking, maybe even give you a few grey hairs.

Consistency and stability does not exist in this career, so if you want it, im sorry you are in the wrong profession. There have been days where the money has just piled in like a flood and then some days where you are looking for the money under the refrigerator and questioning yourself, your life direction and you will be screaming with self doubt.

The thing that keeps me pushing through the tough times is staying active, and always trying to invest that time not just chasing the next job but investing the time into my own skills and development as a DP. Hard times pass, but as I said before don't expect that shit to be handed to you on a plate, you need to work your ass off to pull yourself out. If you give up easily, cant handle stress or take disappointments to heart, then keep on walking cause this job is full of disappointments.

RELATIONSHIPS

This is the most common ugly perk I have seen spread across the film industry. When you work 9-5 or just in the typical corporate world, people's stable lives create more predictability. In film this is not the case, well at least it hasn't been in my experience or from many others I have worked with from different cultures and countries.  

Choosing this freelance career means that when the work comes, you have to take it. There are times when you can say no to a job, especially the smaller productions, but when you are doing bigger lengthy projects that have amazing door-opening potentials and/or pay then you have to grab those opportunities. 

What does this mean? Having to cancel on family, loved-ones and friends, and if you are lucky, maybe you can re-schedule. Its always easy to re-arrange smaller engagements like dinner, drinks or going out for coffee, but for things like birthdays and vacations its much tougher. Especially for myself as I live in Finland and my family is back in Australia.

Since most of you reading are either the only one in your family/friends circle in the film industry or not even in the industry itself, then these outsiders have only experienced the normal everyday life of 9-5 or having the day for duties and nights for sleep. These people will find it extremely difficult to understand why you can never settle on set dates or have to always reschedule or cancel. Ive never been married, but have seen many divorces happen during lengthy projects, so if you intend to engage in marriage - from the advice others I have worked with around the world have told me you really need to find a spouse who is understanding and supportive with the amount of cancelations and rescheduling of family events, or even those times when you need to take that quick side job to get 3000€ because the past month has been dead quiet when it comes to incoming work. Most people just don't get it, they will always say "I don't care we made plans" or "cant you just move the day". 

But wait it gets better! When you work on a feature film or some higher end productions. Sometimes phones are not allowed or you could be in remote locations with no access to communication for days on end. Feature films are intensive with 5-7 days a week work, which always span 12+ hours a day and for a month or more. Its rare you get a day off, and when you do you still need to do some work to plan for the next shooting day or go over some plans with other production staff, and most of these tasks just have to be done. Even if you do find some hours to have a real day off, you'll have minimal energy and none of that energy to share with others. Every lengthy production I have been on I have seen divorces and breakups happen.  Your outside relationships with spouses, family or friends are put aside. I believe this is another reason why I think alcoholism, drug abuse, infidelity and divorce are common in the film industry, iv'e seen it happen to actors, producers even art department staff.

We do not live the traditional normal lives majority do, and this will affect those that are close to us. Remember those disappointments I talked about earlier, ask yourself this - are you morally ok that you are going to put those close to you into disappointment not just once but time and time again? If you are OK with that, then climb aboard the film industry train. 

IS IT REALLY WORTH IT?

So after reading all this you are probably asking to me "is it worth it?". Being that this is my passion and the love of coming together with a group of unknown people from around the world to create something visually amazing is one hell of an awesome kick for me. But hey this is me! life is about choices and this is the choice I made, and I am satisfied. Its all in the eye of the beholder and if you are ready to sacrifice your relationships, money stability and comfort of routine then it might be just possible this is for you. Of course there are some ways you can manage and minimise some of these negative perks to working in the industry, but once again its all about choices and how far you want to push yourself. I know some DP's who are quite comfortable shooting smaller productions in their own town. 

Any film buffs out there that would love to share their stories id be happy for a chat! I hope this opened your eyes to what really lies in my profession, its not just all cool camera gadgets and the glorious behind the scenes videos and photos.

[kinktae]

no idea if anyone has said this yet but i feel like kiri only told jk she wanted him to spite y/n and that she has no desire to get back together w him 🤭

bitchin 8 asks because i suck

spring2787 said: Pls tell me my son didn't do that to her in bitchin 8.... Ahhh.. Jeon Jungkook.. You dumb brat... 🥺

Anonymous said: You’re such an amazing writer, like damn you have SO MANY PEOPLE invested in your stories that you now have 1247294 people ganging up on jungkook and forming protection squads for y/n 🤣🤣 I’m so excited for what’s to come !!!!

Anonymous said: Ummmm.... I just binge read all of bitchin and let me tell you that it WAS LITERALLY THE BEST THING IVE EVER READ! I LOVE THE SOCIAL DYNAMICS BETWEEN YN AND JUNGKOOK AND I ESPECIALLY LOVE YARAS PERSONALITY

cheeky-kookie said: Hey bb just me dropping in to give my opinion on the Bitchin' Chapter because I havent done it yet & you know how whipped I am. JK did a big uh-oh and fucked up. Hes confused. Kiri came and it's what he wanted forever. My theory is that it probably didnt feel like what he wanted after the fact and that's why he met up with MC. ALSO, the MC is upset (understandably) but she cant blame him bc she has given him no hint that there could be something there. Overall, good chapter :) Still whipped.

Anonymous said: I "kombucha girl"-ed to y/n telling jk she would never fall for him but I've decided it's what she (bitchin!jk) deserves 😤😤

unknowntalesx said: oh my god that anon went off 😂😂 nd the other anon has a good point! he might be very confused and wanted to see if y/n had feelings but alas the dirty dickin was still dirtyyy, oh meathead, i lovE bitchin

yourdelights said: watching everyone freak out over bitchin makes me very glad that i decided to wait and read it all after it's finished. i'll still end up suffering, i'm sure, but i'll get all the suffering done in one shot. like ripping off a bandaid after wetting it first.

Anonymous said: Lmaooo I'm over here sipping on my tea, waiting for Yara to wear her black latex suit and give little Jungkook a visit.. Honey, you've got a big storm comin 🍵🍵

Anonymous said: I feel like Kiri is going to cheat on him again and THEN he'll finally have the big revelation that oc was the right girl for him all along

Anonymous said: the real question is: is kiri going to use what happened and jk “cheating” on y/n with her to hurt y/n 😶👀

yourdelights said: watching everyone freak out over bitchin makes me very glad that i decided to wait and read it all after it's finished. i'll still end up suffering, i'm sure, but i'll get all the suffering done in one shot. like ripping off a bandaid after wetting it first.

Anonymous said: Lmaooo I'm over here sipping on my tea, waiting for Yara to wear her black latex suit and give little Jungkook a visit.. Honey, you've got a big storm comin 🍵🍵

Anonymous said: I feel like Kiri is going to cheat on him again and THEN he'll finally have the big revelation that oc was the right girl for him all along

Anonymous said: the real question is: is kiri going to use what happened and jk “cheating” on y/n with her to hurt y/n 😶👀

Anonymous said: rose i really hope u know that we want to y/n to have an least a moment with taehyung in this goddamn fic called bitchin

Anonymous said: thank god we just ship y/n with tae in this house right

Anonymous said: we are going to beat jk’s ass after all that shit he did with y/n 😤 meanwhile i wanna say a very important thing: taehyung WOULD NEVER do that lmao bye

Anonymous said: Me after reading about what Jungkook did to OC in bitchin08: I hate to say it, I hope I don’t sound ridiculous, I don’t know who this man is. I mean, he could be walking down the street for little bitches who don’t know how to process their feeling and need to get their shit together before a pissed off best friend come to chop their dicks off because he couldn’t keep it in his pants, and I wouldn’t know a thing. Sorry to this man

anonbebe97me said: Please, for the love of God, update Bitchin’ soon. I literally felt it so bad when he admitted what he did. My entire heart collapsed. I cannot even. Your writing is so good- I genuinely laughed during so many moments in this series and you might be my favorite writer. Seriously, I love you

Anonymous said: bitchin’ is legit the best thing ive ever read

Anonymous said: Same anon who has a (metaphorical) hole in her chest now...This fic is written so beautifully and I feel like I didn’t express that in the previous ask... it’s too good and damn why I did I have to get emotionally attached to these characters because now I’m genuinely Devo 😪 but still looking forward to what comes next (whenever it comes :))

Anonymous said: Damn chapter 8. Of bitchin’...BROUGHT ME TO TEARS. But I know your a great author so I BEG IT WORKS OUT AND THEY GET BACK TOGETHER BECAUSE I AM TOO EMOTIONALLY INVESTED AND THERE IS A HOLE IN MY CHEST FROM THE ANGST OH MY

Anonymous said: So I was putting off Bitchin 8 for a little bit because I didn’t know if I could handle it. I don’t know why a fictional story has me so effed up, but it does. So tonight I read it and OMG now I’m all angsty and upset! Why do you do that to us? Suchhhhh a good fic and amazing writing, but whyyyyyyy must you make us feel this way. This boy needs to get his shit together and just love her already. My heart can’t take it. 🤦🏻‍♀️❤️

madjammil said: I am waiting with bated breath for part 9 of Bitchin'! Part 8 had me all distraught 😭

Anonymous said: Will Y/n fight Jungkook? 🤧😂

cuteipat said: Should I prepare tissues or not?

toomuchdaegu said: art 9 dropping on my birthday, that is very much adequate

sydney--chan said: Your new mobile theme looks really good babie 🥺🥺 I cant wait to get my heart stomped on again during bitchin' 9!!! You're the only person I'll allow to do that to me HEHE hope ur doing well luv u ❤❤❤

wallbitjch said: Bijj stop teasing us 😤😭 huuhu but thankyousomuch ok 😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘💕 bitchin foreva

Anonymous said: fanservice is gonna be yara x tae i KNOW IT

Anonymous said: Fuck Jungkook. Stan Yara.

Anonymous said: YOU MADE ME FALL IN LOVE WITH BITCHIN' KOOKIE OMG until chap 8. 🤡 You nice keep going.

Anonymous said: so, either taeyara shit happens or y/ntae shit happens... bro lowkey kinda wanna have y/ntae just to piss jk the fuck off man like fuck u jungkook

Anonymous said: I can’t wait for this Bitchin update. You better heal my heart. After last time, I shouldn’t trust you, but I’m placing my heart in your hands once again. Don’t hurt me. Jk you’re the best. I love you.

Anonymous said: When I say I'm not ready for pt. 9 of bitchin' I mean, FUCKKKKKKKKK NO I DON'T WANNA CRY STILL CRYING OVER PT. 8 😫

Anonymous said: It's a shame to do this while i'm drunk but i just want you to know that i love you and i will probably Fall asleep when you Will post pt 9 of bitchin' but i really really love the way your posts and your writing make me smile, giggle and dmkdldldldldlldldldldl scream when theres no Word to descrinw how i feel. I love you, please, have a great night know that you maks my heart boom boom 🥺🥺🥺💜💜💜

cheeky-kookie said: I re read Bitchin' 8 and almost cried because Jungkooks heart was breaking slowly I just- Hes an idiot but he cares for MC

Anonymous said: if kiri doesn’t drop dead in this chapter imma take matters into my own hands 😡 also chop off jungkook’s dick, he doesn’t deserve it

paolaa9700 said: Don’t gonna lie, I hate you for making me wait for the new chapter of Bitching until 4am (in my country). But you think I’m gonna stay awake until that hour just for that? Well you are right cause I’m gonna freaking wait. I’m already so nervous oh my god, oh my god! I can’t put in words how nervous and happy Im 😂

Anonymous said: mskjxjsmksksdkdjndlskxjbfbjc i just read pt.8 of bitchin and eye- fuck why did you do that to me? 😭 (also i think i’m new here, but i just want to say i’ve been reading your work for almost an entire year and it never ceases to amaze me! 💗)

tinievmin said: YOUR NEW THEME IS SO CUTE OMG!!! Also, I’m so excited for bitchin’ pt 9 but I’m terRIFIED THAT ILL STILL BE MAD AT JK ))):

rebekahoofblog said: im READY for pt 9, got my reminder SET. bitchin makes me wanna draw jungkook until i pass out boutta make more fanart i love ur writing the most 💞💞have an amazing day

[jooheongif]

hi,it is i,theory anon!it was still day for me but i spent a lot of time figuring things out and reading theories and making my own and freaking out and then i was mentally exhausted and slow the rest of the day..worth it i really do love theories!i really didn't expect something so long either but mx never cease to amaze and outright refuse to be underestimated,it seems. i might also be biased but i too think it is a masterpiece(the song,cinnamontography,the monstas themselves...) (cont.)

i really liked every bit of the film i noticed and can't wait for anything they have to put out!since i already sorta know i'm gonna be amazed (isn't that also amazing?they just keep evolving and they're already so incredible). it's so nice being their fan:)) also,i'm so happy you caught up on your sleep and hope the studying paid off (even if not,i think it's great to invest yourself in something)! (cont.?)you're really out there with your heart full of love and you're sharing it so selflessly,it's honestly really inspirational to me and just generally truly wonderful.i can feel you're a gorgeous person with a breathtakingly beautiful soul and i hope you're proud of yourself,i feel you have reason to be!even if not,i can at least honestly tell you i'm so incredibly proud of you and happy to have contacted you because you are truly so caring and kind and genuine and radiate love (cont.???i'msorry!)(and you just,completely unprompted,told a complete stranger you're proud of them,i cannot express how deeply touched i am ( :') ) you're really so incredible i hope you know!)! this is probably pretty incomprehensible but i hope you can tell i'm really touched by your sweetness, you really made my day so much brighter. i'm very grateful to you for all of this kindness and i hope you keep being this wonderful and magical and radiant (cont.?? ?? last one i promise!)LAST ONE!!! also i REALLY hope you take very good care of yourself and i hope you know how wonderful and magical and radiant you are! i'm very sorry this was so long and please don't feel absolutely any pressure to reply,i just hoped to convey how grateful i am for you and everything you said. so now that i've tried to do that,i'll be gone (AT LAST)! please eat your veggies,drink water,take in some fresh air and stay strong (hehe) and i hope you smile today!💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

hi theory anon !! how are you ?? hope ur doing well !!! hope u got some rest from being exhausted by the theories the other day :-) 

thank u sm for ur msg !! how to reply to this...where do i even start !!! firstly, im so.... :( my heart is so :( idk what to say im so touched by this ?? icb u would take the time to type out 5 separate msgs for me ??? thank you so much and im so sorry for giving u the trouble of writing all those separate msgs !! pls dont apologise for sending all of them btw !!! i rly appreciate every single one of them :( i was having a....not so good time at uni today and ur msg helped to pull me back into real time and i feel sm better !! u hav made my day !! thank u sm :((on first watch of the music film before reading theories and things, i thought that it was abt them all destined to find each other no matter what dimension or universe or part of the planet they are in ! like no matter what, they are always meant to find and meet each other ? but maybe thats just what my friendship deprived self wanted to see at the time ??? not to sound so..l*nely sorry ! but anyways...i just...rly lov plotlines abt friendship so i :(( no idea how i could relate that to dramarama but then again does it hav to ? a mystery :( anyway..after reading theories, some ppl had the same thoughts but even better and some had smth else completely different ! even though it feels kinda bad not knowing the actual truth abt their concepts, at the same time it is kinda nice bc reading other ppls thoughts and interpretations is rly interesting !dlfsdkjfkldjfsdjf thank u sm for saying all those nice things abt them !! ur right !! they just keep improving and being better than themselves w every comeback ??? i hope that since they already had their first win for dramarama, for this cb they are a little more relaxed and feel less..pressured ?? and that they can just enjoy the moment on stage, performing and promoting their work w/o worrying so much abt winning  ? :( like...do mx and their choreographers, producers, stylists + everyone who works with mx so that they can be mx..do they even hav a moment to take a step back from all the chaos and just...admire all the work that they've done ?? even if they dont get the results they want...even if it doesnt do well on the charts by their standards..like do they know how much impact their joint work has on so many ppl ??? and that so many ppl rly admire and appreciate what they've done :( anyway i rly hope the monstas rly just..truly enjoy this cb w/o feeling so much pressure :( idk...do we as mbb put too much pressure on them too ?? idk.. im writing this and hoping for the best but at the same time i know that the whole industry is fuelled by competition and its all just one uglie business™ in the end that we're all directly/indirectly contributing to as fans and whatnot, but at the same time cant do much abt it bc we just ..wanna support  our favs :( idk im prob typing a whole lot of nonsense rn but i lov the monstas and ill keep supporting them so ..that meme of marge dancing nervously i guess ?ok dam...there i go again writing too much im sorry ! :( ill try to wrap this up ??? sorry u hav to read all of this btw !! thank u sm for caring abt me btw !! all those nice things you've written...u are too kind ??? idk what to say to u to even thank u properly for all of this but please know that i rly appreciate all that you've written up there !! :( idk if i even deserve that level of kindness ! i think ive still got a long way to go to reach the person u hav described above but i hope one day i can be even a small fraction of that person !!!! you wrote that i inspire u but honestly ur the one who is inspiring me ?? :( taking the time out of ur day to write 5 nice messages to a stranger !! wishing a stranger well and caring abt their wellbeing ?? writing all those nice things :( !!! im always pleasantly surprised by anonymous msgs bc icb someone out there takes the time out of their day to be kind !! it always gives me some kind of  hope and reminds me that maybe the world isnt all that bad thanks to kind ppl like yourself :( im sure im not the only one who thinks like this...so rly thank u sm for selflessly spreading love like that ! thank u for being here bc the world is a better place w you in it ! i hope u are taking care of yourself and getting rest and drinking water + eating ur veggies too !!!! ily and thank u sm !!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ 

[fruitsbasketlesbian]

Hey hey hey sooo I’ve been thinking of writing this for a while but I’m a big fat pussy so even though we’re mutuals I’m doing it on anon (((: A few days ago I was trying to sleep and I suddenly thought about how writers aren’t appreciated enough. Honestly, it makes me sad how writing isn’t viewed the same way other forms of art are. Don’t get me wrong, a drawing can be really cool and make you experience another side of someone’s imagination in a physical way, and that’s awesome, but (1/?)

reading such beautiful and fluent writing like yours is truly mind-blowing. I mean, I can start off reading something of yours and before I know it I’m lost in the midst of fighting some huge battle, or I’m feeling emotions that are not mine but instead belong to a character that doesn’t actually exist. The purpose behind creating powerful and meaningful art is to not only express emotions that belong to yourself or to a character you feel deeply for, but to instill those same feelings in (2/?)

an audience. And wow… do you really set the bar high when I read your work. Writing is some hard shit, I do it every now and then for fun, but it never quite flows the way I want it to and hey, that’s fine with me. I write for myself, I create art for myself, and all of this is done on a whim. You, however… I’m not quite sure I could put what you do into words. (Okay, I just realized this is starting to sound really creepy… please forgive me lmao). I am no stranger to reading, I’ve done it (3/?)

all my life, and even though it’s tapered off over the past few years, but It’s safe to say you are one of the very very few writers that has me caught in a tractor beam of an overwhelming desire to read more. I realize I’m kinda rambling here so I’ll backtrack and continue on my original path…. Oops (: What I wanted to say was I really appreciate all the work you’ve done, and although I know that periods of time will come and go where you may not see writing as a true form of art, or you (4/?)

may not deem it worthy to show to the eye of the public, everything you create is inspiring and wonderful and contagious in the best way possible. I hope your realize this, and if you didn’t I hope you do now. Keep on expressing yourself and (hopefully) doing what you love because there will always be some scaredy-cat out there like me who’s too afraid to tell you upfront how they truly feel, but appreciates everything you do all the same. So, thank you. (5/5)

anon u made me cry now u Have to dm me ;;;; fr tho this is the kindest and loveliest comment ive received my whole Life im cherishing it forever and thank u

and regarding ur first couple of comments i agree re: writing and art.... i feel like art is very easy to consume in a way that writing isnt? i mean it obviously depends on the subject but at the heart of it, in a fandom sphere, u can Look at a piece of art, maybe think abt it for a bit, rb it, and thats it. for writing u have to invest urself in the plot and the characters and there are so many pitfalls as a writer that can easily make a reader go off ur work (eg bad grammar, mischaracterisation), and with writing as well u do have to create a whole plot and take all these things into consideration whereas with one single art piece that’s not entirely necessary. so it’s never that i dont see writing as a valid form of art, it’s just the difference in validation/exposure u get thru writing isnt as great as art (altho there’s a lot to be said abt how visual art suffers more plagiarism, and also there’s the whole likes vs rbs thing that is an issue too). so that can be....Very Discouraging lol

but honestly thank u so kindly !!! contagious im just...overwhelmed im shaken anyone could ever Genuinely feel this way abt anything iiii write !! and honestly, if this is abt mos (which...im just presuming it is?), then that was completely based off a whim. i wanted corrupt lance (sorry baby) and i wanted the aftermath of trauma and i wanted recovery so i was like Fuck It and wrote it. like everything i write is on a whim ! but as i was writing over the yrs i came to the same realisation as u that art is abt the Audience, so thats why mos in particular focuses so much on that and i try so hard to rly drag the audience in and force them to feel all these ugly emotions and get caught up in this like...rollercoaster. like it doesnt come easy. it’s a lot of work. so thank u for recognising that ! and now id die for u so like...when u need to collect....say the word...