#ive been thru alot with them

[eddie-v3nts]

me after letting all my irl relationships fizzle out (most of them didnt like me anyway)

[wu-wakfu-undertale]

Re-watching wakfu for the first time in years and s1 Yugo was so silly???

dude discovered he could make portals at will and his first thought after actually acknowledging it is "i can do so many cool pranks with this"

[reedenthusiest]

im so sorry to anyone who followed me for literally anything else and now gets to watch me rb the same fire guy 1000000's of times . it WILL happen again btw

[dovveri]

since we’ve lost 3 major others to plagiarism…

do you have any recs for other authors? who’re your faves? i itch to read but i dont know where to go from here 💔

REEEALLL thankfully there seems to be a resurgence in writers but some of the ogs are still around lets see 😋

@miinatozakiii ofc my darling altho shes in her nwjns phase rn she still has lots of twice works to get thru

@neoplatinum wife is making a cb perhaps soon but most incred sana fics that are tattooed permanently in my brain

@cry4mina smut machine w lots of wips that im vvvvv keen for they have one of the sexiest brains in twiceland tumblr

@nr1chaedickrider resident dark / angst writer who just released new sana fic that im vvvvvvv excited to read and from the reviews… maybe cry about

@ghostykapi i have a secret crush on them i think theyre so cool and i love their works

@momotorin baddieee my samo bestie their works are crack to me

@httpsyeons OBSSESSSSEDDDDD i love dee and i think theyre such a talented writer and they put out sm work so quickly

@momoswifee this one a blog to look out for theyre still baby but they got big plans and im sat for them

@myouicieloz theyre 10th member od au has me in shambles theyre so talented its insane

@raainberry the most incredible beautifully written long fics (i love long fics) rain is someone i look up to alot

@miusana who used to be @idlesana and is making a comeback i was a massive fan of idlesana when i was a reader and im so excited that theyre back

@seoltzuki i swear i feel like theyve been around foreveeerrrr and thats bcs theyre fics are just so consistent and amazing

@lesbiankimdahyun mmmmm fics so good i eat so well but make sure u adhere to their warning post! theyre v strict on ageless etc blogs!!

@ot9snumber1 she hasnt been as active but theyre my pookie bear they have such a cool brain i love their fics and creativity

ive probably forgotten people but i just woke up and i should still be asleep so my brain is not functioning right 🤞 hope at least one of these writers is new to u and u find something u enjoy!!

[momaphobic]

Random thoughts about Aphmaus Fanbase circa 2015-2018ish, MCD & Mystreet,internet culture around that time

Like most people on the internet I want to share my thoughts on something I am very passionate about

My thoughts on MCD

When it comes to MCD I truly love the story and was upset when she ended it in 2017 but know that i look back on it i understand why people were upset with the aph x garroth or aph x laurance because it did seemed very rushed thru/incomplete and due to aphmau recieveing mass amounts of hate im sure that didnt help either ,which i understand why someone would be upset about a ship they very much enjoy and it not being canon but what i dont understand is why people were saying horrible things to aphmau for their ship not being canon ( i mean srsly was it ever that big of a deal?) , but i feel like people got so focused on the ships in MCD it completely overshadowed the main story

Aphmau Fanbase 2015-2018ish

i always see tons of people online saying they were huge fans of mcd and mystreet and dont understand why she cancelled it/huge change of content and I have a theory about this kind of. I feel like the fandom at this point was split really into two main age groups 8-12 and 15-18, I know that doesnt seem like a huge age differnce in groups but I was around 7-10 When i first started watching aphmau and was not really aware of the situation going on (probably due to the fact that most of it was address on platforms like insta,twitter and a maybe few live streams on yt and i didnt rly know how to have a social media like back then) so when all the rumors that aphmau had dealt with in the past had resurfaced recently this was my first time hearing about them despite being in the fandom since 2014-15. Hearing about how Aphmau had to deal with all that unnecessary hate absolutely broke me knowing how a few people probably ruined a fandom and how we might never actually get a finished story is very sad but also Aphmau’s content now is very targeted towards children and understanding why she changed her content is her way of still being able to do what she loved and while avoiding hate

Internet culture around this time

I know internet culture sounds weird but i would say 2010-2019/20 i feel like the internet was still kind of like a town in the middle of the midwest like slightly deserted but enough human life to have small communities around ( most the time communities involving alt fashion,video games, just “nerdy” hobbies, also,unfortunately,a bunch of very triggering stuff being highlighted and glamorized(this was probably more around 2007-10 tho)) the most recent example i can think of is tiktok when tiktok first got put in place i very much remeber furry,gamers and cosplayers getting along and their being a social consequences when someone was outed for being a not so good person or just being a bully. Nowadays I cant imagine someone saying those things to aphmau and getting away with it considering how people will dig thru a influencers past internet history and find things from 10yrs ago im sure people would be able to find some random leaving hateful messages towards her and telling them to stop or sending a bunch of comments n messages to them

This is totally a rant post lol Ive just been thinking alot abt the whole situation since they have announced mystreet season 7 and im very excited for the future of mystreet and aphmaus roleplays and im hoping for a little bit more accountability in the fandom so we dont repeat the past. if u made it this far sorry if nothing makes sense its 4am 😭 and i needed to write out my thoughts or i was gunna go crazy. Goodnight yall 🤩🤩😛😛

[lyss-sketchbox]

My thoughts on Inazuma vs Natlan so far. Is that Inazuma dropped the ball. There's no questioning that. It was rushed and the resolution lacked weight, and it almost definitely needed a lot more space to breathe and probably would've benefited from the 5 act structure instead of speedrunning with 3 acts (such as needing actual time spent with the Watatsumi Resistance rather than spending like 30 minutes tops).

HOWEVER. I feel like the initial Act I-II of Inazuma did a great job established the STAKES. It showed us the very real damage being caused by the various unjust decrees and why people are fighting. Natlan I kinda felt like did a lot of telling instead of showing, and any potential stakes feel kinda... Unserious? Because no one's really seriously hurt and even if they're saying Natlan will explode soon, I'm not really feeling like it's as dire as they're trying to sell it.

BUT IVE BEEN INFORMED YOU CAN DO NATLAN OUT OF ORDER??? Like you could in theory do Natlan BEFORE Inazuma thru Fontaine (with the quick-start function) which is why Natlan is more 'self-contained' which is absolutely insane to me?? Like HELLO???

Overall, I feel like the concepts and plot presented in Natlan is fine. But they didn't do a good enough job of selling to me these things. Like the whole child soldiers stuff kjadf like we actually dwelled on it for longer than a millisecond, we'd probably realize that's super fucked up!! But instead we gloss over it, making the whole quest seem fairly light-hearted despite everything.

Rubs my hands together ok anon lets talk cuz yeah i have thoughts

About inazuma

I definitely agree with you that Act 1-2 (especially 1) of inazuma did well setting up and showing how much negative impact the shogun's rule has impacted the people:

Vision holders literally losing a chunk of themselves (or worst, their lives) from their vision being confiscated.

Non-vision holders risking their lives for helping said vision holders (the resistance)

International traders being stuck in the nation, repressed by local government, and scammed by local traders just to keep business alive.

Local government bloating the price of everything!!! (And being able to get discounts only if you have connections)

Corruption even in the highest positions (gestures at the Kujou clan)

Fatui meddling that lead to the deaths of many for profit

The shogun literally programmed her robot to be that heartless because she herself dont give a shit about any of these issues. As long as her eternity stays.

Fr after venti and zhongli, getting an archon that acts as a proper ruler of a nation AND an antagonist sounds COOL AS FUCK. The booba sword scene while yeah, boobs wooo, also was a wonderful show of her authority over her nation.

After that they tripped and fell in Watatsumi. While i appreciate the environmental story telling of Watatsumi's and Shogunate's bases during the war, we barely get enough time to do... ANYTHING of substance. If i remember correctly, we became team captain, then do a bunch of training and defeating vagrants (on our own because friendly npc fighters didnt exist yet) and thats it. Where is the plotting? Wheres the planning? It was all just an anime training montage we barely get to see or feel. I genuinely feel like we couldve just replaced the entire Watatsumi arc with 'the fatui is selling delusions to people with confiscated visions to help them cope with the lost so traveller go to the delusion factory' and NOTHING wouldve changed. Hell it wouldve made ALOT more sense why yae came to save us at the end if the whole thing happened in Narukami.

Also after all that SHOWING they did alot more TELLING about wooo how smart kokomi is she is so smart and cool and the savior of the resistance. Like girl the fatui had their grip on your soldiers to the point they almost didnt want to surrender their delusions what are you on about. While you can argue she was only a priestess before the war and had no war intellegence skills, the people prop her up as such, kujou sara took her seriously. So she has to have some merit. Well im not seeing any (fight me on this i dont fully remember what happens in watatsumi)

Also at the end we fight the literal dictator of the nation with the power of friendship then everyone and i mean EVERYONE forgave said dictator...... cool. They would definitely benefit from an extra act so that watatsumi adds to the idea that this civil war and the shoguns current decree is causing damage.

About AR

The thing is that the requirements for you to start Natlan AQ is to be AR 28 and finish Liyue AQ (which requires AR 29 for the entire thing). While starting Inazuma requires AR 30, Sumeru needs AR 35, and Fontaine needs AR 40 (highest AR requirement by far).

Id argue that each nation is supposed to be a self-contained story. Even so, based on AR requirements theyve been chronologically in order because you NEED to complete the previous AQ to start the next. EXCEPT for Natlan.

While this is obviously to be more open to new and returning players, it really.... decreases the stakes, like you would assume the more we progress the tougher challenges we will have to face. But Natlan? Nawww you can go to Natlan without fighting the dictator 👍

About Natlan

I AM ADDRESSING THE CHILD SOLDIER THING FIRST BECAUSE YES. THEY DEFINITELY DID ALOT MORE TELLING THAN SHOWING HOW THIS CHILD APPARENTLY CAN BE SENT TO WAR WITH A REAL CHANCE OF DYING!!!!! I talked about this before because they ironically did alot more showing how child like Kachina is which adds more to the FUCKING CHILD SOLDIER THING.

HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO BE OKAY WITH THIS??? Oh its our nations culture, its just the culture shock, OKAY YEAH BUT THE TRAVELLER AND PAIMON ARENT NATLAN NATIVES AND THEY DONT FEEL ANYTHING ABOUT THIS????? Wow yey cheer for the child to go to war! BRO SHE DIED AND WE WENT JACOOZIING WHILE WE WAIT FOR HER TO RETURN FROM WAR...............

ITS VERY OBVIOUS INFANTILIZATION BECAUSE IANSAN DIDNT FUCKING GET THE SAME TREATMENT. You know, the other small girl character there, nah she went to war just like Kachina, lived, and stood by the Archon and WAS READY TO THROW HANDS WITH A HARBINGER IF THE ARCHON DIDNT FUCKING FIGHT HIM HERSELF.

Everything just feels so.... chill? So relaxed with no stakes at all. I mean yeah the Abyss is creeping into the nation's roots but instead of sending armies we make it a tournament. Yeah people die in these excursions but we can revive them so we can ignore the horrors of experiencing death. Yeah the flames are dying so the archon has to give up some of her power to keep it lit but its okay! The harbinger is a gentleman that wont take this opportunity to do some scheming. We need the power of the chosen one of each tribes to save natlan but hey cant rush it! We got a year after all teehee.

Man. Head in hands. What the fuck.

Not even gonna go into the whole the archon is human but mavuika is the one that got reincarnated to retake the role just in time to solve a national crisis thing. Because i dont even know if THAT is accurate.

If they somehow trip and fall worse than inazuma id actually be amazed because the bar is very very low.

[thesweetestdevotion]

https://www.tumblr.com/thesweetestdevotion/761276923476361216/can-u-do-reading-for-2025-is-it-gonna-be-better?source=share

like general collective? like are we gonna get another corona etc? ��

i'd love to! thanks for requesting a general reading, its the first one ive done here, youre a lil trailblazer hehe!

2025 General Collective Reading

Dice: Mars, Aries, 6th house

Tarot: Five of Swords, Ace of Cups, Four of Wands, Two of Coins Reversed, Seven of Coins Reversed, Ten of Coins, Queen of Cups Reversed, Five of Wands, Strength, Three of Wands

im getting a lot of downloads right now... like back to back (usually i get a few spread out as i read) im just going to tell it how i see it and feel it, however please be aware that i am not infallible! especially with a big energy like this, im not capable of acessing all of what is going to happen next year, so ill just state what i see right now.

As i was holding the dice in my hand i saw red, literally (my room is entirely blue so...) and then i dropped the dice and got Aries, Mars, and 6th house... guys this is literally war. let me explain, Aries is the 1st sign of the zodiac and is fire, ruled by mars. With aries showing up with mars (planet of war) and 6th house (house of open enemies, the exaltation of mars), im feeling like we might be dealing with conflicts and tensions worldwide. Now this does not signify WW3, dont freak out at all. but im seeing that several countries will make new alliances with each other and we might see the rising of a new world power(powerful country) come on the global stage. This also goes along with the five of wands, im seeing arguments and small conflics here and there that are building tension in the collective energy, this could lead to a war but i just cant see that far out. i felt like spirit smacked me in the head loll maybe im trying to see something much bigger than i can describe here, also protests? i just heard. New trade deals, routes, and more are being discussed. sales of arms, weapons, artillery, these things will be prevalent as the year progresses.

now for the human collective, im seeing that our relationship to labour is coming to front stage. Two of Coins Reversed, Seven of Coins Reversed, Ten of Coins, Queen of Cups Reversed, all these cards speak to how we relate to our work and labour. Im seeing alot of emphasis on proper compensation, labourers rights, work-life balance, surging prices, costs of living, all of these topics have been relevant for a few years now, but im seeing in 2025 things are going to boil over. The sixth house is also the house of daily labour and work, and with mars showing up there, we will see a lot of sentiments about finding meaningful work that is fair and pays well and allows individuals to cover their living expeses without worries. i think the previous mentioned protests could have something to do with this, but maybe not irl protests, but just people's voices being heard and their concerns finally being taken serious. I think the collective is longing for stability (i know im one of them) and next year makes me feel hopeful that we will finally have a change in the right direction, however small it is.

Another thing im seeing is an emphasis on foreign travel. we might see more people migrating out of their countries in search for new opportunities (im not seeing a specific country just a general energy) im also interpreting this as implementing foreign inspired ideas, laws, regulations, etc. like some countries are seeing the succesful laws of overseas and saying lets give this a try. Marriage law?? this just jumped out, which makes sense with the four of wands here.

also something about women is becoming relevant, idk if it is also legislation or maybe a new collective energy being embraced by women. I feel upset rn all of a sudden ugh. something about motherhood, love, emotions, femininity, nurturing, relationships. this energy is so muddled though i cant see thru it as of now.

The overall energy is that of the Strength card, which tells me there is an emphasis on building things, beating enemies, and destroying barriers and limitations. I feel hopeful for 2025 but i dont think itll be an easy year(when has it ever been hehe)

I hope you enjoyed this reading! lets all come back in a year, you can yell at me if i was wrong lol (˵ •̀ ᴗ - ˵ ) ✧

[calder]

your enoch / mark post lives in my head all day every day bc i’m mildly obsessed w the book of enoch and i’m really interested in how you’re relating apocalyptic text to fallout - i don’t know much abt the games except for nv but i’n interested what lead you to connect texts like enoch to fallout n is dee’s system part of this framework/interpretation?

(i don't know what dee's system is offhand)

ive struggled with how to answer this. i think it is largely that i found the text so movingly beautiful even as it was wrong with every assertion. it is the manic scrawlings of a schizophrenic person, pseudopigraphally attributed to an antediluvian, and purported to be the The First Book. the text is relentlessly vivid and evocative.

he'll spend pages rambling about how the sun orbits the earth and the moon is a woman, then left-turn into vague call for violence or attempts to describe the undescribable. i think this is my favorite part

1. Wisdom found no place where she might dwell; Then a dwelling-place was assigned her in the heavens. 2 Wisdom went forth to make her dwelling among the children of men, And found no dwelling-place: Wisdom returned to her place, And took her seat among the angels. 3 And unrighteousness went forth from her chambers: Whom she sought not she found, And dwelt with them,  As rain in a desert And dew on a thirsty land.

while i cannot even comprehend Enoch's position, much less agree with it, i am rocked by the scope and beauty of the author's internal life conveyed by the text.

i was already using the phrase "fallout apocrypha" to describe my area of interest. the beauty inherent to people disagreeing about how fallout works & making shit up

i'd like to share my favorite piece of fallout fan art with you. the original post seems to have been blanked by tumblr for some reason. this is quick redraw of an old indigenous Benny concept I drew by Frank Odlaws. his later comment regarding the work is included as a readmore.

-

odlaws: " this was all left in the notes as reply to someone asking why he is speaking spanish if he is native but the context for this comic is that Benny is schizophrenic native american from a mexican tribe “my hc for benny is tailored to my own heritage for self indulgent reasons lol, so in this he is based on my people, which is an indigenous tribe in mexico, i hc that he isnt connected to the actual native language of his people, only the spanish they were forced to assimilate to in mexico just like english in america, and just like many native american mexican people lose touch with their tongue after generations of forced assimilation i sort of figured people would just know but thats kind of foolish of me lol, my people are the purepecha people, who have a long history of exploitation and forced assimilation as well as a running trend of people trying to break from the communities to find better lives because of how actively our communities are suppressed and exploited through actively violent means, history of revolution and communities trying to take law into their own hands even to this day which i think is pretty fitting for bennys arc in the comic and narrative of the game, seeing his story go from abandoning his “tribe” (what nv refers to as tribes lol) in search of dignity and security, and the whole quest to take things into his own hands to take the land, acting as if its rightfully his, feels alot more powerful when seeing it through the lens of a native man whos lost access to the pride of his people and history only seeing the desperate remnants of his once thriving community, where that idea of power and dignity seems so distant and foreign it almost feels like fantasy, the catholic imagery that follows his design also is very in line with my people, who created an entirely unique sort of image of Catholicism after it being so forced upon us they created an image of their own native religion thru the catholic lens as a means to continue our reality without fear of punishment”

[highoncatfood]

cna i hear more of ur thots on suns violent arc? :3

ok so keep in mind tht this is wholly jst my personal interpretation of the song and also ive been in a very similar situation so i might be projecting a bit sometimes . also i might be mixing in some of my already existing interpretaions of laughingfish with it cuz its all one big tangled mess in my mind so srry if it feels like im pulling stuff out of my ass lol . but like whetevr ok here click read more

keywords for my interpretation of this song: sentimentality, loneliness, understanding, comfort, attachment, moving on, hope

the narrator is a deeply broken person. shes been hurt in the past, many times, by many people. she always tried and longed to find a place where she could feel like she belongs, but bcuz of her nature something always seemed to be missing in her, sth that would make it possible for her to fit in. shes been lonely her whole life, keeping all these feelings and the desire to love and be loved inside her, thinking that she wont ever be able to share it with anyone. until one day she met someone, someone maybe jst as broken and lost as her, who finally understood. and theyve been together for years, they grew so close they understood each other like no one else ever could. they became inseparable, so attached and sharing in their struggle of existence. and so even once she realized that what they had wasnt healthy, that it was codependent and unsafe, it was jst simply too hard to let it all go. all ur life u were broken, had no place u belonged. u finally found it and now ur supposed to completely cut off the only person who u felt like finally 'gets u'? u know how much they hurt u, u know how hard uve tried to help them, to fix things between u two and how futile it was, and u know u have to get out of there to feel safe again. and yet it still hurts. bcuz u also know that there were moments of joy and comfort, u know that despite everything they made u feel understood, and it felt good to have had someone who cares and someone to care for, someone u could make smile. uve become so used to their company uve been willing to forgive or look past all their flaws and damaging behaviors for the sake of trying to maintain that comfort of having someone who understands. and even tho u realize how badly they hurt u, u get sentimental abt all the time u two spent together. and so even when u finally leave, there is that feeling of sadness, u might even feel like its a shame that it had to end this way. bcuz even tho ur finally free, u now wonder if there ever will be anyone else who will understand u jst as well as they did, bcuz no one else ever has before. uve gone thru so much conflict during all those years that u cant be sure what it even was that brought the two of u together. all u know is that there is no way to make it work. and so all u can and have to do is leave and have hope for a better life from now on. and even tho u feel all this anger and resentment and pain abt what they did to u, u believe that they can find that better future for themselves as well

(ALSO on a more meta level- its worth mentioning that suns violent arc is one of the songs written in 2022, as rooks bandcamp page says, and in LOSE YOURSELF there is the line 'and the sun comes up in a violent arc / no matter where i go'. LOSE YOURSELF was written and rewritten in between 2022 and 2024. all this to say that i assume theres been alot of change in rooks approach to the whole situation over time and so whtever semi-positive outlook thts present in suns violent arc might be kinda 'outdated' so to speak. since LOSE YOURSELF is very straightforward and seems to hav way more bitter feelings abt the whole thing in it. esp when comparing lyrics such as 'but when youre there / i am someone better' and 'i thought i was becoming a better person'. overall i think the 2 songs r very connected blah blah blah)

HOWEVER there is also another way to interpret it that ive been thinking abt, which is to look at it as current rook talking to the 'other her'. (altho admittedly i have way less coherent thoughts abt that one so bear with me)

in which case it wouldve been more like her finding herself again, realizing that she doesnt have to find anyone else to be able to 'share' all the love inside her. she can channel it into her own self and that can make her feel jst as free and safe. its like realizing that yeah, maybe there isnt anywhere i belong and no one who can understand me, but maybe i dont need that as long as i can learn to love and know myself. to connect with my inner child and live for her and thus be able to live for myself. yeah ive been hurt, and the past cant be changed and the impact of the ppl who hurt me has left its marks on me, but as long as i focus on taking care of myself and letting myself be the real me, all the pain ive been subjected to becomes nothing more than mere background noise. protecting and taking care of ur inner self is what makes u believe u can have a brighter future

….. anndddd ok thats everything i know how to articulate and put into words . THANK U for the ask i have so many thoughts and mixed feelings abt this album but it is. so. so good

edit: btw this is not me at all trying to speculate wht happened to rook etc. jst interpreting the lyrics solely in the context of the rest of the album and occasionally connecting it to laughingfish lyrics. not my business whtever personal irl stuff happened

[the-moon-and-stars-4ever]

hi im here for the marauders ask thing lol (im not entirely sure how to do this so sorry if its not good)

my favourite colour is pink

my phone has both autocaps and autocorrect turned off (i had to retype alot of this so its spelt correctly)

i love love love heartstopper

i scrapbook

i still sleep with a stuffed animal

the only shoes i ever wear are boots

my nail polish is always chipped and black

ok i hope this is good!!!! also i think this is so fun and cute ive been scrolling thru them lol <3

i'm gonna go with sirius but marlene could be another posssible option <3

[kikyoupdates]

im. not rlly sure how to work stuff on qoitev beyong reading, but ive been goin thru and reading all ur oc stories ajsjsj. your writing is sooooo good 😭 it kinda makes me want to write one of my own... anyways, i wasnt gonna read girlfriend for hire at first cuz the premise didnt stick with me but after quickly getting caught up with all your other stories and knowing HOW GOOD they are i haveee to read it so. ill be doing that soon 🫡 ive been in a pretty dark place lately and reading your stuff has kept me from completely losing it so, really, thank you so much for what you do. i dont remember fully but i think i even recced one of your stories to my partner 😭 i should rec them your vampire one i uhh im bad w names but i really think theyd like kai alot. i know zeek has barely been in the story but i think i love him. ajdjdjd ill get out of your hair now, dont feel pressured to post or anything i just noticed your inbox was open and wanted to tell you

hey, im really glad to hear you enjoy my stories so much! it means a lot, especially since the ongoing situation on my main writing platform (Quotev) is very discouraging. so i really do appreciate everyone who supports me, and im happy to hear that my stories have helped you through a rough patch. i hope that whatever it is, it gets better soon. and yes, my friend is the one who mainly runs this blog for me, but every now and then i can login into this account to answer asks, so feel free to submit whatever other questions you may have! thanks again for reading my stories <33

-ada (kikyo/starflame)

[theinvincibleinvisible]

Ive been healing like seriously healing. I dont even recognize who im becoming.

A year ago i was working a job i absolutely hated but held on to for 8 years. I was anti social and hesitant to engage with people. Anytime i showed up to a store Id sit in my car for 30 minutes to play on my phone and distract myself from the anxiety I felt of being seen in public. I was ashamed of my self. Whether i went in or not the trip would surely be followed up by going to a drive thru fast food place and ordering whatever i wanted and putting on a show on my phone and minding my buisness for an hour or two while i indulged in the peace that is food and tv. I had no friends besides my best friend who lives states away because thats where i moved from. Thats where i was comfortable and that move took me from the healing i was doing there and saw me regain 30lbs and bring my anxiety back with a vengeance. I had no social skills let alone social life and i spent to much time on the internet watching videos about men that only added to my anxiety around people. I was having panic attacks and my brother had recently died. Funny enough while visiting the gym in the middle of the night because thats when i wanted to work out. I walked in saw a group of men, immediate chill ran down my spine and i ran to my car, there i had a panic attack thinking about all the times i got hurt by men. I had to calm myself down then i broke out in tears and wrote the longest email to my therapist of 4 years finally admitting id been a victim of sexual assault. I wrote about how much it affected me that my father died but also was a piece of shit when he was alive. But that it was his job to be there for me and my brother and protect us from the bad people in the world. But he was one of them. That same night my brother was pronounced dead. He died in recovery from surgery to save him from a burst appendix. Hed been battling a stomach ache for days with pepto bismal probably because he couldn’t afford the debt of a hospital visit seeing as his job offered no benefits. His death stirred so much emotion in me. There still so much there to unpack…

But now here we are in April 2025. Since my heaviest weight ive lost 20lbs. I have a new job that ive worked for 7 months and have been promoted 3 times. while there are alot of men there who intimidated me at first and i was stand offish with. Now we are all friendly coworkers (except 1 he got to handsy). But i dont spend as much time on social media, im minding my buisness preparing myself mentally for the dark future of this country, coming to grips with the past, staying in my nieces life and loving her as much as my brother would and then some. And im understanding im no ones victim. Im not a defenseless kid anymore. I can fight back and i will always advocate for myself. I have yet to find a friend outside of work but im good with my coworkers and get all my socialization needs met at work. Lifes good. I hope it stays this way

[natashasbitxh]

this is gonna be long, but,

i used to be into youtube fandoms alot but the only ones ive retained are dan and phil and smosh. i was big on phan but i fell out of it years ago, i still like them but im more of a causal viewer than a rabid racoon frothing at the mouth every time some content drops.

(and also realised, as im no longer a teenager anymore, how shipping real people together is tricky and there are boundaries you dont cross and should be handled a particular way)

smosh ships were cute but nothing really stuck to me. don't get me wrong they all have chemistry but GOD DOES SHAYNSE GIVE!!?? IM A RACOON ONCE AGAIN

oh my god the way ive been sucked into shanyse. the smosh pit theatre was my awakening LIKE WTF THERE'S CHEMISTRY?? then i did the customary tumblr tag search and now im re-watching every video shayne and chanse has appeared together.

im sorry for all this but i gathered you were sort of a pioneer for the ship, so it felt right to confess on here

I relate so hard with ur comment on phan, I feel the fandom has gone thru a massive transformation and feels so much for chill now! Ppl have grown and are taking into account Phil and Dan a lot more!

Yes! Rpf is a tough area! I've said it before but the most important thing is the ppl themselves and their feelings! If Shayne or Chanse (or anybody from Smosh or that knows them tbh) asked me to stop, I would in a heartbeat! I, of course, would never intend any harm! And we see such a small snippet of their lives, its truly just based off their internet personas. My one rule is that u shouldn't go out of ur way to shove rpf into the ppl's faces unless they've said their okay with it! (Example: Them finding a fic by themselves is not the fault of the author, but the author sending it to them constantly crosses some boundaries)

Okay sorry, just wanted to make my thoughts clear!! Back to shaynse!!

OMG I'M SO HAPPY U FEEL THAT WAY!! I have felt that way since I thought of the ship but back then there was NO content for them!! Not even a ship name! (@jovenshires came up with the ship name). So it almost made me feel crazy or wrong for thinking of it, I'm so happy it's been well received!!

I feel like once u see it, u can't unsee it! That theater vid has done sm for shaynse nation! However, its just below the love is blind vid because that is literally shaynse day🫶🫶

Never apologise!! I love hearing other ppls thoughts and discussing!! And thank u for calling me the pioneer for this ship, it truly is an honour! I've been called it a couple times now so I might add it to my blog, I just hope I don't look big-headed 😭

And just an overall message to anybody that sees this, I welcome conversation abt ANY smosh ship, as long as it's appropriate! (I'm not sure what to give as an example, but I'd let u know if it's not appropriate)

Thank you, anon!

[t4tklonoa]

you're one of the most based coroika fans ive ever seen . What are your thoughts on (and hcs for maybe?) the best 8

Thank u v much!!! I try my best.......

AND. I absolutely love the best 8 I think they are so silly. the designs are super cool (even if they ar just the promo kids) and their personalities are v distinctive and fun

although I think the group is alitttlle too big ? and I miss the side characters that are part of the teams getting at least a little spotlight like with Avi (I only rll hav this problem with the hierarchy). I am not asking that every side character gets one but at least one or two since the important teams are doubled would be nice. and from the looks of it (slight spoilers for chapter 75) Wire doesn't have a v important connection to any of his teammates.... BUT also it's v early to determine if any side characters will get more attention ! so u can tots just ignore this part (also buzz glasses and polpo may be the lucky ones since they appear alot with their captains)

also headcanons under cut bc I'm supppper normal abt the coroikers and hav one million headcanons ^^ (also haven't been able to read the most recent inkling almanac. some hc's may make no sense considering the new info)

MITSU !!!

It is so genderqueer ur honor. slaps she/it pronouns on her

she grew up along Kojake they are siblings... Mitsu and Kojake developed their own kind of sign language to communicate, it's v bare bones but they are living their best life out there man

I refuse to believe it collects junk as a hobby only. Poor thang doesn't have a house it lives in junk yards with Kojake

not a headcanon but she's so cool. wow

HORNMET !!!

TRANSFEM ! she has facial hair and rll enjoys showing it off

has a crush on Mitsu maybe? maybe you'll never know (she does she is alesbian)

looooves collecting rocks and sharp things

girl who bites

BARRELEYE !!!

considers all of his teammates as family :]

ABSOLUTELY. loves Polpo to death he's always talking abt how great his punk rock sis is the best

has a huge scar that goes thru his face. why? he fell off the stairs when he was little and landed on smth sharp

one million neos but orange's fav one is pop/popself

SHELLMET !!!

transfem also. she is besties with Hornmet

autism stares at u forever. also chronic :3 face

rll good at anarchy, especially clam blitz (SOMEHOW)

she's the oldest out of the best 8, due to this all her teammates are younger than her, they are all little siblings 2 her

she met her teammates when she randomly matched with them for a clam blitz round. they were rll struggling so she was like 'y'know what. I could help u get better ar this mode!' and then she adopted them

SHADY !!!

the most nonbinary to ever nonbinary. uses they/it/ika

Also autism stares at u forever. when ika met shellmet for the first time it was like !!!

missing a fang, got in a nasty fight to defend Flannel (they get bullied :( )

8 BIT !!!

exgender !!! goes by it/its and lots of neos (also goes by dynamo/dynamoself like Rider in my headcanons so they both get v confused when ppl refer to them and they are like. in the same room)

Also goes by many names ! Blaze and Flame are it's fav ones besides 8 bit

chronic fatigue, scorch is always drinking energy drinks

has a weird friendship with trisun... they talk nonstop for some months and then for some months they don't talk 2 eachother.

thang who bites

is rll into art and crafts, doesn't get the opportunity to do stuffies often but it rll loves its hobby (also boom encountered Goggles once in an art and crafts club once. boom was so akward abt it lol)

OCHO !!!

Hemigirl ! goes by he/they/bird/sparrow

has a special interests in birds, owns one million pet birds (rich kid) he loves them all tho (I have to get around to deciding their names and species ough).

had a crush on trisun but now he doesn't know how they feel abt xem (it was v one sided, Ocho barely talked to trisun. later on I think they would b qpps tho!)

doesn't have friends. has been like that their entire life... till bird met Wire ! kinda. he rll wants to get closer to them but Wire is a complex individual and Ocho has no idea how to socialize

WIRE !!!! (get ready for my autism)

nonbinary swagger. they/them

they are mute !!

fast learner, really flexible. they play many different weapons but prefer playing as support most of the time

was trained by shellmet for a bit, developed a huge ego due to this. they think they could've made it as far as they did without shellmet, bc why did they surpass her (lie they believ. they are both as strong) if they aren't just. naturally talented amIright ? (they have problems)

owns aloooot of bracelets. including chewy ones bc they rll enjoy chewing on stuff.

constantly chewing or licking their lips and fingers, they hav alot of scars around their mouth, on their lips and fingers due to this

thang who bites (u)

they have a pet Sparrow (that's how they and Ocho met) and a pet sea slug (Yellow edged polycera)

(chapter 75 kinda spoilers for tha next headcanons)

they and their team have known eachother for most of their life (paralleling blue team!) they are not the same age tho. (buzzcut is the oldest, Wire and punk are middle and the youngest is double-bun) ALSO. they all know ASL

punk does a lot of the talking for them if the ppl they are hanging out with don't know ASL or Wire is too tired to sign (punk knows Wire v well so they can tell most of the time basic stuff Wire wants to say)

[my-castles-crumbling]

intrusive thoughts anon!

to answer you question, well ig it really depends on how you do it. if you do it well enough, the students dont notice. like ny bsfs from my olf school, we became friends cz our chemistry teacher took the 5 students who worked the best and just slapped us together in group projects.

but ig its mainly because 1) your attention wouldnt need to be contantly diverted across a multitude of different groups 2) some kids genuinely just dont like it.

the main thing to consider is the fact that theyre middle schoolers, if the smart ones realise oh, this kid in my group knows nothing, bullying could start.

if the slightly less advanced kid realises that the smarter kid is weaker than them of sorts, they can manipulate the situation.

but most of all, its important to realise that those chidlren are still kids, and teaching is technically the teacher's job.

this is smtjng ive struggles with alot in my life, im considerably smart in the subjects which matter (eng+maths+sciences) and am usually paired/grouped with kids who genuinely know nothing at all. its not even like theyre having a hard time, like no, theyre having a hard time AND they just dont want to listen to a fellow classmate.

some chidlrens egos surpass their need to learn and often times children just dont feel comfortable speaking up.

as an example in english (i have the top grades) the teavher always groups me with the girl who, ik i shouldn't say this, but is the BIGGEST pick me, like the entire lesson shes laughing at non existent jokes from guys and flirting with the two other guys in our group, talking over me continuously like girl im trying to make you guys understand. and then one guy whos failing all his subjects and a guy who's ego is thru the roof cz practically every girl likes him.

what do i get out of the lesson? nothing. im tired and drained and the teacher is like oh wow they did the work today😃 like girl pls bsfr

but as compared to having a group of all smart learners together, they'll either do their work silently if they dont like eachother or otherwise discuss topics together and argue/debate in a way which stimulates the mind.

HOWEVERRRR at the end, i, 100%, stand by friendgrps as groups. mostly they're either a grouo of like minded people or a group of a mix. they have good communication, they joke around ehile they work, they have fun, pick up where the other lacks and overall enjoy the learning process.

but, at the end, its important to remember that ecery classroom is different, all children vary. get acquainted eith your children and eho knows maybe diverse groups work best for them!

(also the against diverse group sentiment is not only something ehich ive observed but also something that my mother reiterated when i told her. for reference shes been teaching middle schoolers for 20+ years, is a mentor at her school and has been offered the principal position)

also at the end but this reminded me, my mother once said that she prefers non diverse groups because the smart kids usuallu get done earlier and she keeps extra activities planned for them which are more challenging so theyre not sitting free and disrupting the class, however when theyre in a group, they start to get frustrated because the rest of group doesnt work the same pace as them.

kids love to be challenged, the smart kids eill have people next to them that are working in relatively the same speed and eill try to surpass the others. the medium people will also be working at somehwat the same oace and these will be the children who will usually talk and discuss to figure out answers, likewise with the academically challenged kids.

also this reminds me. usually what my friend and i do when we're put in a diverse group is just do all the work and let the others copy from us whilst telling ehat few little things to change so it doesn't look TOO copied yk.

which obviously goes against the entire point and alot of children do this, ive done this myself and have also been oart of the copying group.

middle schoolers want to do everything in a eay that takes the least effort possible

idk if this was too long or even helpful but i tried.

oh and im okay (ish) rn

No, not too long at all, and super helpful! Honestly, I love hearing opinions about this stuff, especially from students, because they're the ones doing the learning! So like...I want to know how to help!

You're right that diverse groups aren't always beneficial, and I agree that higher-level learners tend to get sort of...left out, I guess? When it comes to being challenged. I love the idea of having challenging things for them to do when they're done, I'm definitely going to use that. And you're right that teaching is the teacher's job, and I think that we forget that it's not okay to always rely on the higher level students, so thank you for reminding me <3

Also, thank you for taking the time to write all of this out. It means the world to me! I think I'm gonna print out all of these advice things and keep them in a folder on my desk...

[minquiec]

jipunk headcanons and scenarios cuz i’m actually not normal abt them and they’re really unhinged and some don’t make sense 🤗

(idk how to write headcanons and they’re not proofread!!!)

i have school in three hours and i’m actually delirious rn but THATS OK CUZ I LOVE THEM

i don’t think i’m gonna remember making this in the morning 🤗

ANYWAYS LOVE U MIN 🫶🏽🫶🏽

OUH MY GOD WHEN U SAID U HAD A LOT I DIDNT EXPECT IT TO ACTUALLY BE LIKE

ALOT

BUT OMDOFKEJJSJDJ I READ THRU EVERY ONE AND IM GIGGLIGN LIKE AN IDIOT U GOT THEIR DYNAMIC DOWN SO GOOD IVE BEEN CURED AAAA 😭😭😭😭 I LITERALLY LY SM FOR THIS SINGLEHANDEDLY SAVED MY DEPRIVATION I CANT

THANK YOU FOR LIKIMG THEM SM OMG IT MAKES MY HEART HAPPY UEUEUEUEU