#ive been saving this one for a rainy day

[asktotallyhuman]

A little creature waddles into the village holding a netherite block.

" pwesents from the namewess Bwewer. Fwor gaurd capwtion."

The captain stoops down to greet the strange creature, and scoop up the gift.

"Please send our gratitude to your master. I'll have this brought to the Smiths' right away!"

[akrophobic]

heart racing

[whoknowsyourfuture]

Look, there is a simple way to make sure employees are able to take breaks.

Hire

Enough

Fucking

Staff

But, y'know. That cuts into the CEOs yacht budget so we're not going to do that.

So, I've gone back to working at Home Depot while I'm going back to college right? Well, shit is about to hit the fan at Home Depot's across the country. A new policy has been put in place about warnings for not following your schedule to the T, which originally everyone thought only applied to punch in and punch out times. Which would be fine! A lot of people do come in late too often, or leave late, or whatever.

BUT. Home Depot also, technically, schedules what time you're supposed to take your lunch. But NO ONE follows this part of the schedule because you literally CAN'T. The lunch times are so random and rarely work with people's coverage and they frequently break the rule of getting a 30 minute break every 5 hours because of where they sit in a shift. Plus, sometimes they'll be super early in a shift when you just aren't hungry yet.

And the new policy? If you are even a few minutes off on taking your scheduled lunch you'll get an attendance occurrence. (Or half of one, depending on how off you are in your timing.) Once you reach 10 occurrences, which would only take about 2-3 weeks at most of being off on your lunches, you get fired.

Talking to a customer? Too bad, you must drop everything and go to lunch. In the middle of cutting a lumber order for a customer? Too bad. In the middle of a huge rush at the paint desk with no backup that actually knows how to work the paint machines in the store? Too bad. Driving a forklift? Too bad.

The policy goes into effect in a week. People are already crossing out "customer service" and "employee support" (or whatever that one is) on the little values wheel on their aprons. There's talk of a work to rule strike.

Anywho. Prepare for some chaos at your local Home Depot and be patient with the workers going forward. We're not happy about it either.

[wcnderlnds]

here for you | peter parker

・❥・ summary: after getting kicked out, peter comes to the rescue like always ・❥・word count: 1.1k ・❥・warnings: n/a ・❥・ authors note: this is my first time writing for my beloved peter parker!! its also the first time ive wrote anything in like a month. this was a request from this list. feel free to request any!

The rain was falling hard in New York City. It was one of those cold, rainy nights that had most people bustling through the streets with their umbrellas hurrying to get home. Unfortunately, you were one of those people. The heavy thud of the raindrops falling on your umbrella and the usual sound of the busy New York traffic were the only things keeping you grounded in that moment. The puddles on the pavement soaked your favourite pair of boots as you aimlessly wandered, suitcase full of belongings trailing along with you as you dragged it across the concrete. This wasn’t how your day was supposed to go. Your original plan had been to sit in front of the fire, cup of cocoa in your hand as you watched Love Actually. Too bad you had forgotten to pay your darn rent. 

Money had been tight lately. Balancing a part time job and university was no easy feat. So much so that you had ended up sacrificing your job for the sake of your mental health. You had thought your savings would be enough until you had a better grip on things to find another job but you were wrong. The well had run dry and after another missed rent payment, your landlord had kicked you out. 

When it rained, it definitely poured.

As you stepped into a particularly deep puddle, the familiar sound of a ‘thwip’ sounded above you. Craning your neck up, you spotted none other than the famous Spider-Man perched on a lamppost, head tilted as he looked at you almost like he was examining you. The corners of your lips almost tugged up into a smile as you imagined the concern in his eyes under that mask. Peter Parker had shared his secret with you almost the day he’d found out himself. You were his best friend after all – the two of you told each other everything. The eyes on his mask widened in questioning.

“Got kicked out,” you shrugged. Saying it out loud made it feel all the more real. Not that walking through the streets with everything you owned in a suitcase didn’t.

After checking to make sure nobody was around to hear, Peter spoke. “Meet me at my place. Gotta take care of something first.”

With that, he swung away no doubt on his way to tackle some crime. At least in a city like New York, Spider-Man was never short of something nefarious to keep him occupied. The whole city was like a hub for superheroes and criminals at this point. It was so much so that you were almost desensitised to it. Maybe that had something to do with the fact your best friend was one of those superheroes. Your feet carried you to Peter’s apartment, knocking on the door when you approached. No answer. He must still be out. A sigh passed your lips as you sat on the floor, back against the wall, legs stretched out in front of you as you waited for that nerdy, cute friend of yours to arrive. The raindrops from your jacket were dripping on the floor. Huh, you hadn’t realised it had been raining that hard. Probably too lost in your own thoughts. 

It was ten minutes later when the door to the apartment opened – Peter must have swung in through his window. The pros of being Spider-Man meant you didn’t have to deal with such meander things as walking. Sometimes you wished that spider had bit you so you could swing your way through the city without a care. His mask was in his hand as you stepped through the threshold, the door shutting behind you. His big, brown eyes looking at you with concern.

“I know you have questions and I’ll answer but I really need to get out of these wet clothes right now,” you cringed as you pulled your jacket off, your jeans sticking to your legs.

“Oh! Uh, yeah, sure, sure. You can… use the bathroom. You know where it is,” Peter nodded, his cheeks tinting pink at the mere thought of you getting changed in his apartment. He knew he shouldn’t have thoughts like that but he couldn’t help himself. Throughout the years Peter had somewhat started to develop feelings for you. It was something he beat himself up about every single day because there was no way you felt the same way for him. Why would you? You were incredible and he was… him. No, Peter would always keep this secret to himself. There was no way he was ever going to lose you so if it only meant friendship then he’d take it.

“You should have told me you were struggling to pay rent!” Peter exclaimed. Once both of you had gotten changed, you’d situated yourselves on Peter’s couch, a blanket thrown over the two of you as you filled him in on your situation.

“Peter, no offence but you can barely afford to pay your own rent let alone help me.”

“I would’ve found a way.”

A smile lit up your face, hand reaching out to give his a squeeze. “I know and I am so lucky to have someone like you looking out for me like that but I could never ask that of you.”

Peter’s eyes glanced down at your hand atop his, barely containing how sweaty his palm was starting to feel at your simple touch. He was down bad. His Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed down a gulp, shaking his head. “You know I’m always going to be there for you, right? Always. No matter what happens. I would do anything and everything in this world to help you and protect you. There’s nothing more precious to me than you.”

His words hit you straight in the feelings, your heart beating a mile a minute like it was about to burst out of your chest. The sincere look in his eyes, the way he always seemed to make you his number one priority – there was nobody who looked after you as fiercely as Peter did. Despite everything he’d been through with his family and losing Gwen, he had never let you down. The second your eyes met his it was like the whole world had stopped still. Your breath hitched, caught in your throat as Peter’s delicate fingers reached out to gently tuck a stray strand of your hair behind your ear. His thumb brushed your cheek, the gesture making your stomach do flips.

“Stay here with me…. for as long as you want,” his voice was barely above a whisper.

“Nowhere else I’d rather be,” you leaned into his touch. The moment lingering between you, neither wanting it to end. There would be many, many more moments just like this one – you just didn’t know it yet.

taglist: @strawb3rrystar @decaf-mother @ldydeath @mistysconcilium

[catscidr]

i. note — i was feeling a certain typa way because i kept coming across fics where the reader was described as busty so i wrote this in like two hours to make myself feel better lmao sue me…. ii. includes — dottore, afab!reader. no pronouns used, only descriptions of boobs/looking womanly (?) iii. cw — fluff, hurt/comfort, crack-ish bc this is a little silly, dottore is trying his best (maaaybe ooc), a little suggestive but nothing happens, talks of sex and oral, casual touching. MDNI. tldr reader is self conscious about their body and dottore tries to make them feel better lol iv. wc — 1,8k

It’s not often that you get to lay in bed with your lover; he’s always busy running around his lab, either fixing others’ mistakes or scrapping his own work to start over what he has spent so much time on. Dating the infamous Il Dottore was a challenge not many were strong enough for, but you made it work.

You would spend time with him in Haeresys by helping him with some tasks (even if they were small, and didn’t really need to be done in the first place). Handing him different tools when he’d wordlessly ask for them while neck deep in the guts of a Ruin Guard, carefully organizing old reports and documents in his desk that would never see the light of day anytime soon, and bringing him a healthy meal to eat while he worked (though you would do that yourself, because Archon forbid he actually eats on his own accord).

So, given how sparse your time together is, of course you would make it count. Of course you would use that time wisely, go out for an evening to a nice restaurant, maybe even cuddle up on the couch to binge an entire season of a show you had been meaning to watch for ages but couldn't bring yourself to because you wanted to watch it with him.

You wouldn’t dare spend your evening together in bed, wallowing in your own self-pity while he sits up, reading a book you can’t even stomach the contents of.

...Except that’s exactly what you’re doing.

You can't really help it, though. You know how he is; diligent and hardworking, a man of his craft. You know he doesn’t have the time to entertain you and your silly questions and hypotheticals, you know he’s not too fond of sweet touches and words of affection. You know this isn’t your typical relationship, but you don’t mind because you get to be with him— and you wouldn’t have it any other way.

Save for when you sulk and feel so incredibly insecure and inadequate for a man such as himself.

Humans have needs. You are human, and you have needs. Dottore is a human (to some extent, though still technically human), so he, naturally, also has needs.

The issue lies in the enormous, metaphorical physical gap between you and your lover. Naturally, Dottore is essentially married to his craft, so getting any sort of action is usually out of the question. You can get a peck or two out of him, one in the morning and one at night (if you’re even awake to feel his scarred lips gently pressing into your cheek), but that’s where the list of physical affection ends.

You’ve talked about your desires and boundaries alike when you first (officially) started going out. The discussion didn’t leave out anything sexual in nature either; though the conversation was mostly led by you, while he simply nodded and pitched in with a word or two every so often.

It’s not to say you’ve never been physical with one another. But recently it’s been happening less and less, and you’ve been finding yourself in this position a lot more often; curled into yourself, lost in your own thoughts as you picked out every little detail about you that you were certain weren’t up to his standards. 

It’s only when you feel him shift next to you that you’re brought back to your shared bedroom, away from the rainy clouds stuffing your mind. 

Dottore shuts the book in his lap, keeping his right hand’s thumb wedged between the pages. He peers down at you with a curious expression, silently analyzing your suspicious silence. 

“You’re quieter than usual,” he comments, tone as flat as it could be. You crane your neck back to look up at him, the duvet covering most of your face as you wrack your brain for something to say. 

After a second of opening and closing your mouth, you finally say something. “’M just tired,” you murmur quietly, nuzzling deeper into the blankets to sell your point. He hums in response, placing his book on the nightstand next to his side of the bed and crosses his arms in front of him, brow quirked up in disapproval. Piercing red eyes stare down at you, making you hold back a shudder. Archons, you’d never get tired of seeing him without that ornate mask of his.

“It’s quite abnormal for you, of all people, to be silent when presented with the opportunity to have a conversation with me, uninterrupted” Dottore states, watching as you tense in your little cocoon. After a beat you emerge from your safety, chin just barely peeking out of the edge of the duvet. 

“...I had a long day.” You avoid looking at him, a pout gracing your lips. He huffs in response and runs a hand through his loose hair. “Long day you say?” Dottore keeps his composure intact, remembering the moments you’ve whined to him throughout the day about how completely and utterly bored you felt. 

“Mm. Long day, right,” he brings one hand down to hold onto the duvet and pulls it down, making you reach for the blanket to cover yourself up; though your efforts are in vain. “What’s on your mind.” 

The way he spoke to you sent shivers down your spine, shuddering at the way he spoke in a way he would when making a statement. 

“Nuhh... nothing. Nothing at all, I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You shift in the bed to cover yourself, even if it’s entirely unnecessary. The tee shirt you wore covered you plenty, but without the duvet you just felt so... exposed. Especially with how well Dottore could read your body language; it’s like you didn’t even need to say anything (because you didn’t). 

His gaze on you never relents as he scrutinizes your appearance; your furrowed brows, your hair sprawled across the pillow- still damp from your shower- and the way your lip trembles almost imperceptibly as you hold back the urge to talk about what’s been bothering you. He hates having to metaphorically twist your arm to get you to open up, but if that’s what he needed to do to keep you sane, he’d do it over and over again. 

Dottore scoots his body down to lay in the bed properly and turns to his side to face you, icy hair cascading down his neck as he pulls you in towards him with a hand on your waist. You squeak, tilting your head back so as to not invade his personal space. 

“What’s on your mind?” he asks, softer than before but still with a demanding tone. You shrink, avoiding looking into his eyes. 

“Nothi-” 

“I’m not in the mood for games.” He says your name quietly, thinly veiled with an unspoken warning. 

With a huff you bite the inside of your cheeks, and finally relent. You speak quietly and without even an ounce of confidence, earning a sharp sigh from your lover. 

“I can’t hear you when you mumble like th-” 

“I’m flat!” you practically shout. 

Dottore blinks back the whiplash that hit him in the face, stern expression fading into one of complete and utter perplexion. You don’t elaborate, staying quiet as a deep flush takes over your cheeks. 

“You’re... what?” 

He stares at you owlishly, for once at a loss for words. You nod, sitting up to properly articulate your feelings now that the cat was out of the bag. 

“My boobs are small! I have no ass! I’m... I look like a door!” You gesture at your chest, expression looking entirely distraught as you vent your feelings out to your lover. Your shoulders droop down unceremoniously, lips jutting out in a pout as you stare at the wall to avoid crossing Dottore’s gaze. The sound of the wind howling outside of your bedroom window morphs into what almost sounds like a laugh, as if mother nature herself was cackling at your expense.

“I feel bad when people see you with me. I can’t... I have such a bad gag reflex I can’t even take a third of your dick in my m-” 

He cuts you off by placing a hand on your shoulder, frown etched deep onto his face. If you looked closely you’d see red dusting the tips of his ears, contrasting against his hair. 

“You’re self-conscious because you have... small breasts and a... sensitive uvula?” Dottore says, his tone completely void of the confidence he usually carried. Fingers comb through your hair, light and gentle, as he thinks of what he can even say in response to your confession. 

You sniffle, looking down at yourself. The shirt you wore did little to help your smaller cup size— and as you frown at yourself, you bring a hand up and place it over one breast. “See, even my hand can cover them easily. My body doesn’t have even a little bit of curves.” 

Although at a loss, Dottore recovers from the absurdity of the situation in record time. He shifts your body so you’re now facing him, and very casually slips his hands underneath your shirt to cup your breasts. He speaks before you can, cutting off the slurry of complaints you had ready. 

“Have I ever complained about them?” he asks solemnly, forcing you to look at him. “As far as I’m aware I never have. Why bother being concerned over something so trivial?” 

His hands squeeze them gently, making you squeak in response. The more seconds pass, the more ashamed and flustered you feel for even bringing this up. As if a man of his caliber would even care for something like this, how stupid do you have to be to think of him as someone that only cared for looks?

“Well, no, but-” another squeeze cuts off your train of thoughts,” -b-but the rest...! Men like women with a fuller figure, I can’t even give you a titjob!” 

The words that flew out of your mouth made his head spin, from both irritation and embarrassment simultaneously. He inhales and exhales slowly, dragging his palms down to your ribs, then your waist, until they settle atop your hips. 

“I’ve never asked for anything of the sort,” he sighs, observing the changes in your face carefully. 

“Yeah, but-” 

“No ‘but’s. Your body is fine. It does not matter how it looks like from the outside; your organs are working properly, and you do not have any abnormalities forming anywhere inside or outside of it. How your figure looks holds little importance to me.” 

His words sink in, and you feel your invisible dog ears droop to rest flat on top of your head as you glance down at your lap, shame ringing in your ears. Dottore’s grasp tightens around your hips, demanding for your attention to be on him once again, refusing to let you sulk as long as he could help it.

“Although, putting functionality aside, do I need to remind you exactly what I think of your body? Shall I remind you how you make me feel whenever I see you parading around my office? How my body reacts to you?”

Your lips threaten to quirk up into a sheepish smile, but your shame still ate you up from the inside, keeping you from reacting. Your lover hums and flashes you a wolfish grin, leaning in towards your neck to nibble at your ear, teasing the flushed skin. 

“We do have the rest of the night to ourselves, don’t we? Want to find out just how much your body affects me, my love?”

[oohnotvery]

Wherever Is Your Heart (Chapter 11)

PART IV

Mulder

Scully’s finally looking a little less peaky, although it was touch-and-go there for a few days. After the team rescued them from the Sno-Cat, it took several rounds of fluids and antibiotics before either of them was ready to attempt the trip back to D.C.

She sleeps for most of the journey home, her head pressed against the airplane window and her arms curled around her body as if she’s still cold. He drapes his jacket over her shoulders and watches as she sleeps. At many points in their journey across Antarctica, it occurred to him that he’d never get to watch her sleep again. For the hundredth time since waking up in a hospital bed next to Scully, he is thankful to be alive and at her side.

In D.C., Mulder leads a still-drowsy Scully to the arrivals terminal, where he’s been told that Skinner has delivered a fleet of vehicles to meet them and transport them home. He doesn’t think they’ve ever arrived home to this much fanfare. But when they get out into the steamy summer heat, it isn’t Skinner but Agent Meyer who runs towards Scully, his arms flinging around her body and spinning her through the air like she’s some sort of child. Like she hasn’t just gone through hell and back.

Mulder watches suspiciously as Tyler leans her down to kiss her and his stomach churns as Scully’s hand makes its way up to his elbow to squeeze tightly in reciprocation.

He doesn’t know what he expected to happen to him and Scully after their most recent adventure, but watching her kiss another man was certainly not it.

She glances his way as she slides into the passenger seat of Meyer’s car and he gives a half-wave. He doesn’t know how to acknowledge what transpired between them in a sendoff, and he’s a little glad that they don’t have to debrief just yet. But he could definitely do without the blatant PDA.

He spends a few days kicking around his apartment listlessly. He feels like a kid on summer break, with that restless, despondent sort of grief that tends to consume him after the finale of every grand adventure. Except usually, Scully is around to help him through his despondency.

The weekend passes in a blur of laundry, groceries, and basketball, and finally it’s Sunday night. In the morning, he will get to see Scully for the first time in days, and he’s not sure what to expect from her.

Do they just forget the intimacy they shared? Do they ignore the way they kissed and hugged and touched each other in that sleeping bag? Do they erase all the history they created? Do they pretend he never said you are the great, great love of my life?

On Monday morning, he’s forty-five minutes late because halfway to the office, he remembers the little bag of items he left sitting on his coffee table. He strolls into the office as casually as possible and Scully raises her eyes to glance up at him. If he’s honest with himself, he’d say her cheeks darken slightly, but it’s rainy today and the lighting isn’t good enough to truly tell.

“Good morning,” she says quietly, turning her eyes back to her computer.

Without fanfare, he drops the bag of items on top of her keyboard. She jerks back, eyes flitting to his.

“What’s this?” she asks, gazing suspiciously at the bag.

He clears his throat and plops heavily into his seat, spinning around once before answering her. “You left some things on the spaceship. Not only did I save your ass out there, but I got the goods too.”

Her eyes widen and she rips into the bag like a kid at Christmas. First, she pulls out her gold cross necklace and, biting her lip, steals a glance his way. She nods slightly to him in gratitude and he watches nervously as she clips it around her neck. It takes her fingers a few seconds to get it right but when she does, she touches the cross gently at her breast.

“Thank you,” she murmurs, sounding genuinely grateful.

“There’s ah, there’s one more thing,” he replies, reclining in the chair and twiddling his thumbs, trying to seem casual.

She frowns for a minute and then digs back in. Her eyebrows jump to her hairline and then her face all but crumples as she pulls out the ring.

The gaudy emerald one dotted with tiny diamonds. The one she started wearing back in February, around her birthday. The one Agent Meyer gave her. Mulder had almost abandoned it on the spaceship. Almost.

Mulder watches anxiously as Scully fingers the ring with a reverent sort of fondness. She seems more attached to it than to her necklace, which he’s never seen her go without, not for a single day. The ring has only been around for a few months. How is Tyler already that precious to her? Tears gather on her lashes and as they spill over onto her cheeks, he feels his heart break.

“Thank you,” she manages to say, her voice tight and controlled, at complete odds with the wetness on her cheeks.

He sighs heavily and drags his hands over his face.

Well, that’s what happens when you wait too long, he realizes with a sinking feeling in his chest. That’s what happens when you tell someone you love them when they’re dying. It’s just not enough. 

[ankoku-teion]

Attention

Here, for you!

Attention Anon

TBH, ive been saving these up for a rainy day.

today isnt raining but i feel like answering one.

thankyou Attention Anon. it does cheer me up to receive these.

[dreaming-in-daylight]

memories- hannah bang streetlight by changbin hug me by i.n fire in the rain burn the house down carried home take me home hold on-just search up httyd after this tourner dans le vide-indilla sped up vers. blossom-enhypen

+ some more memories by han hold on by seungmin

can you see that im slowly putting you in kpop

hehe you already did my princess and hopefully this will be a nice present for when you wake up <3

memories, hannah bang - voice is very very soothing and relaxing, got chills, hear an accent

streetlight, changbin - this is a mooood, woah the metaphors, is this like toxic masculinity?, i dont think im supposed to be relating--, totally saving that

hug me, i.n - WEIRUFBUDFIBRFRIDBU THATS SO DUCKING CUTEEEEE. whys that so adorable and wholesome and just UGH. would you hug me? yes sir!

fire in the rain - giving riptide vance joy vibes, awwwwww this is so cuteeee, im saving this too. im gonna listen to this until i am sick of it. aylin your taste is beyond amazing

burn the house down - AJR!!! I LOVE THIS SO MUCH THE TUNE IS SO CATCHYY AHHH THE TWINNSS OML I LOVE THEMM. way up way up we gooo, been up and down that road mmmm i love this sm ty so much aylin im saving this rn

carried home -  this is so calming i swear. was this in httyd ? i feel like it was. so freaking relaxing. 

take me home - WHOO! just started and i already like this! TAKE ME HOOOOME! HOOOME, MY LOVE! HOOOOME! TAKE ME HOME. YESSSSSSS I LOVE THIS AHHHHH AMAZING AYLIN YOUR TASTE IS GOLD!!! I LOVE EVERY LYRIC AHH

hold on, httyd - ooh a sad one now, i already know this so im gonna react to hiccastrid. nooo astrid's panicked voice.  STOP THIS IS SO GOOD ITS GIVING ME SHIVERS. THE LYRICS MATCHES THE SCENES AND THE TRANSITIONS. this so depressing what. DID THEY REALLY SHOW HICCUPS DEAD DAD ARE YOU KIDDING ME DO THEY WANT ME TO CRY BECAUSE THEY ARE SUCCEEDING. THEY ARE LITERALLY PERCABETH WHATRE YOU TALKING ABOUT AHHH THE CUTE CHEEK KISSES AND HUGS OML 

tourners dans le vide (sped up) - (i coincidently found one with the thumbnail as mikasa) oooooh spooky like a dark carousel i dunno how to explain it. i am only judging by the voice. OHHHH I HEARD THIS IN EDITS YEAHHH. SO COOOOOOOLLLL. I LOVE THISS THE VIBE AHHHH AYLIN YOURE TASTE 🫶🫶🫶

blossom, enhypen - tHE HARMONIES IN THE BEGINNING I CANT- THEIR VOICES ARE SO GOOOOOOOD THE WAY THEY JUST SWITCHED THE LYRICS BETWEEN EACH OTHER IS SO CUTEE. THE LYRICS ARE SOO WHOLESOME AWWWWW. I FEEL LIKE IVE BEEN MISSING THIS MY WHOLE LIFE AHHHHHHH. kimi e no ai ga ai ga yurayura yurayura! I LOVE THIS THANK YOU AYLIN. IM FALLING FOR YOU TOO, JAKE

miserable, han - his voice is cute. the vibe is very nice. okay this does NOT sound like a healthy relationship 😅. oooooh his rapping is so good. i really like this. i would listen to this in happy rainy days. 

hold on, seungmin - 3 seconds in and i've fallen in love with the tune alone, awww "you came to me like a gift, you brought joy to meaningless days" byjcrewjybrc, wait. is he talking about a pet or a furry. im so confused. is he dating a furry???, STOPP "when the remaining ashes are blown away, i will call your name once again" brb im sobbing and screaming curled up in my bed, STOPP THIS SO SAD BUT SO HOPEFUL AT THE SAME TIME AND THE TUNE AHHHH, new favorite

[bewarethegrim]

Rereading some of Pete Wentz's old blog posts and found the most harringrove entry.

[noone ever fell in love with anyone because of empty pockets or red splotched eyes. drove around for hours tonight just to keep myself from feeling anchored. weighed down. to keep my mind off thinking about what kids like me deserve. desperation isnt a strong enough word (but it will have to do). my wrists are only black and blue cause i don’t got the balls. nothing gets you ready to have every single word dissected and put under a microscope. i got ringing in my ears but none on my fingers. i got sunsets in the veins on my wrists. we’re not just falling in love anymore, we’re demanding it. im the latest bloomer (dried out my wet dreams and saved them for a rainy day). i can still see you standing on my front porch- slowed my own thoughts down to a single blade of grass. you couldnt catch my eye cause i was too busy rolling them. the buttons on one side of your coat that wouldnt snap on the other side. they were just for fashion not for function you told me. you were pretty for a boy. it made me laugh when i thought of it, im sorry i wasnt laughing at what you were saying. it makes me laugh still- when im driving around for hours at night. id love to swerve off and blame it on the fog, but ive been talking on these roads too much lately. theyd spill all my secrets. this city won’t let me go.]

This first half is Billy, talking about how he feels stuck in Hawkins. His thoughts a cycle of the slurs and insults his dad throws at him, and the shameful fact that his dad isn't wrong. He looks at Steve and thinks he's pretty, and it makes him want to die but at the time time it makes him want to laugh because who would've thought his old man would be right? But he chooses to laugh because that's just easier. He drives, he drives too fast, and he thinks about how easy it would be to lose control. Just another tragic accident, but is anyone suprised? Tragic deaths are what kids like Billy deserve.

[im sure theyd lock me up somewhere if anyone saw me at 23 sneaking into cemetaries. taking pills to make me feel okay sleeping in the grass just above you. the sirens find me at the first light. my lips cracked and dried from the tears, i'll probably die a cliche. flash the lights to kissing boys. provocative. i promise you i wont ever have another afternoon like when we used to sneak out of school and drive the lakeshore. noone will ever sound as cool as you. we built cool. we made up style. we set the standard and theyre all just trying to live up to it. if theres nobody who thinks like us anymore. untouchable is unlovable. you always have me humming in my head just out of key. i bought an alarm clock just so i could hit the snooze button. whats the point in getting out of bed anymore if you only get out to say you did. if you could love the biggest fraud or the best liar- then im your prince. i was made just for fashion not for function.]

The second half is Steve. He finds the letter years after Billy has died. But as he reads it over and over again, he can't help but feel like it's not complete. So he sits down at Billy's grave like he so often does and he writes. Be writes how he feels like he's empty, unlovable and broken. Hidden behind years of lies and NDAs, no one could ever know the real him. He could never explain the scars, the nightmares, the paranoia. He finds solace in his memories of warm days spent with Billy at the Quarry. Billy telling him tales of California, and promising he'd take Steve to the beach, a real beach, once he'd saved up enough money to move back home. An event that never happened because Billy died before he could. He died in the town he felt stuck in and now he was truly stuck forever, under the grass and dirt below Steve's feet. Steve wonders how long it'll take him to join Billy down there?

[naos-camera]

im the kind of person who will get to the final boss of a game with all my items and still never use a single one because i feel like im saving them for something. theres a full drawer of stickers in my room that im waiting for the perfect moment to use, even though I know that perfect moment wont come. i throw out so much fun candy because i keep waiting for that right moment or special occasion to eat it. a post like this truly makes me want to use something ive been “saving for a rainy day.”

take figures out of their boxes btw. sew patches on your favorite jacket. go to bed with your favorite plushes. wear the pants you usually save for special occasions. draw something cool on your wall. put a sticker on your laptop. dye your hair and pierce your lips. glass is meant to break, metal is meant to rust. items are meant to be used. that's how the world knows that somebody loved them.

[pwblogarchive]

June 2007

June 4, 2007

goodbye the longest year of my life.

sometimes i want to blow my head but not in a hottopic kind of way.

i am global warming.

i am toxic.

sometimes i am glad i saved everything for a rainy day.

i am a wish.

i am under your skin.

i love you and life:

separate but never equal.

fuck it.

its all okay.

"Too young to hold on and too old to just break free and run..."

posted by xo at 8:05 PM

June 6, 2007

“its easy to get older not so much wiser”

"pooh"

"yes, piglet"

"nothing, i just wanted to be sure of you"...

posted by xo at 8:40 AM

June 7, 2007

“fuck the palm readers, i love mirror breakers.”

i have an obsession with sitting inside a confessional in church and hearing someone else spill their guts for once.

id almost take an oath for it.

get me out of new york.

this city only gets me up to making bad decisions.

love, the last boy.

posted by xo at 10:40 PM

"the christian in christian dior, damn they dont make them like they used to anymore..."

if i bashed your head in how good would the secrets be that poured out.

posted by xo at 4:00 PM

June 9, 2007

“late night snack”

the light splashes in and out. its almost violent. everything rational inside of me tells me that its the dull white of a voicemail. but my eyes are playing tricks on me. i see it purple textured velvet. the tv is blaring whatever. i can see light is sneaking in the cracks everywhere of this suite. like vermin. take a vote, the eyes have it. there is too much space here. between me and everything else in this room. i wish i had a habit bad or not just to pass the time. just trying to fight the big black sadness.

June 9, 2007

“sic transit itum”

Theres an opposite to deja vu. They call it jamais vu. Its when you meet the same people or visit places, again and again, but each time is the first time. Everybody is s stranger. Nothing is ever familiar.

This isn't learning from my mistakes anymore so much as it is damage control. I might as well be trying to paint a house that's on fire.

Posted by xoat 11:33 PM

June 11, 2007

“counting sheep and you.”

tour life has got my fingers spitting from a pornographed philosophers mind. girls with bruises in designer patterns. too full off the diet pills to be hungry for iceburg lettuce and water lite when it shows up. i trapped you in my head a long time ago. i am a treasure chest filled with trash. two orders: one near tears and one beer tears. just put em on my tab.

dont you dare tell me about true fucking love. i spit and punched and blood for it. and now i want to sleep inside of it.

June 12, 2007

“cantsleepcantsleepcantsleep”

dont you feel bad for the suicidal cat thats stuck with 9 lives.

my head only goes from zero to rage.

like a domesticated animal giving into instinct.

carved our names into a tree

and i dont care that i saw it first in some movie.

i think ill always go back and see if it sticks.

i feel like the santa maria. like i got there just after the discovery.

heads like this are gonna go extinct.

posted by xo at 5:53 AM

June 14, 2007

“lullabye.”

everybody is dropping like flies.

the truth is i am a slave to my head and my thoughts, not the other way around.

i am the hand up the skirt of this moment. over underwear, under pants.

under medicated. underwhelmed.

me and you in a not so private corner.

duke it out with our lips and teeth.

ill find the love if its there between your cavities.

dust it off.

its a cold hard ride back from where ive been.

what ive seen.

and what ive done.

or how ive come undone.

apples that make your teeth bleed

love that makes my heart coma-

keep careful count of your tears in that corner-

the market is shit.

they arent going for what they used to.

keep em in a jar-

bury them in a wine cellar.

so you can remember when you felt like just a madman.

im a trust junkie.

i need a fix.

i have so much i want to say. none of it is eloquent or poetic- referencing change and belief- lies and betrayal. how sometimes this ride doesnt feel fun anymore, when the press is controlling it. i will post when i have formulated all of the thoughts. i am tired of constantly defending this, its enough to defend it to the world- but to defend it to believers has drained me. i am only human, a kind of lousy one at that. i am 1/4 of this thing that has felt magical to me for so long. i dont want to lose it. i hope this makes some sense.

i hope i am a boomerang on its way back not some stone sinking in the sea.

thank you to everyone who has stood beside this and me- in both the light and the dark. it means more than a handshake or hug or song,,,

on a good note. the video felt genuinely fun to make. so thank you for taking part in it. the smiles are real.

goodnight.

posted by xo at 11:49 PM

June 17, 2007

“i may be just a dime store prophet. but youre a dollar store whore.”

so i guess i am on the up. thunder on runways cant even kill the boredom. the tips of my fingers bruised from the letters on the typewriter. but if feels so much more final than this. and that is why i love it. and i said the last time i was put in handcuffs it was over a can of spraypaint. she said 'someday i want to spraypaint with you". and that is why i love her. in a backyard, lying on the couch on a sunday kind of way. one that is not explained or thought out. but runs up the back of your legs to the back of your head and crashes out of my mouth whenever you show up. what keeps your head together when you feel the tilt and spin of the world. what keeps those club jaws grinding in between the trips to the bathroom. the best week never. theyre taking stabs at me while im leaning and yawning, but sometimes YOU get through. pinpricks become blackholes and i feel my moods pulled into them. whats up with my obsession with your obsessions. been writing so much lately the paper is starting to add up. theres a part of me that wants to take a match to it sometimes late at night- the same part inside that cant walk next to balconies for fear that i am going to jump off of them.

i can make a mess of anything. but its strange to say when a stranger can bring you peace. you just swaying in the heat of the meet and greet. a face and a voice i dont know. just a tap on the shoulder and a "keep your chin up" from you. but there was a kindness there that brought me back. thank you.

June 19, 2007

so obvious but: i fucking hate this sugar free low carb diet world. i want the wild fucking west. i want love in handcuffs. i want more scars. i dont want this fucking future. meth bake sales to lower global warming. sweat shop work to burn calories. i hope this ship burns before it sinks. i hope this planes air goes bad before it crashes. i dont want this to be an affair anymore, i want to walk down the aisle with catastrophe. lets go to hell just for the weekend. your happiness is making me miserable. waste the time of my life. and if that mocking bird wont sing, im gonna buy you a diamond ring.

i only feel in love on the stage and on the side of a pillow. everything in between just makes me wish myself to pieces. please dont put me back together, keep me in a box under your bed.

June 20, 2007

i hate explaining my own interpretations to people. id rather you come up with your own- but this one seems to be pretty glaring....

there is a distinct difference between the idea "seasons change, but people dont" and the idea "everyone changes". this difference is simply the connotations of the two. in the former: the idea is brought forth that there are certain parts of you that are inherently there. forever. whether they are a part of your DNA or how you were raised- they are so deep and solidly rooted they cannot change. to me these are your ideals, your morality, your internal monologue. they remain constant though are defined differently as your mind and heart mature. to simplify, people who are kind have something switched on within them that will not change. on the other extreme malicious people will always be malicious. not to say there isnt gray area between the two- where someone who is kind can act maliciously and vice versa. obviously there are more rare examples where something can impact someone in such a tremendous way that it will cause a deep change in them. these remain constant through celebrity, through tragedy, through happiness, through loss. i can feel certain things in myself and ways that i know i will always feel- no matter what else changes around me. if you read my actual diary entries from when i was 14 to now, while the language and subject matter has changed- and hopefully has gotten a bit better. my subconscious impacting me and my decisions seems to remain faithful. however, what was meant by the latter "everyone changes, i used to be tiny", is the idea of growing up. honestly, i am not who i was a year ago or 5 years ago or 10 years ago. i think i would hate myself if i never changed. this is an experiment more than anything. if new cultures, people, and art didnt impact me and change me than this would be fraudulent. we expect any of our fans who have been with us from the beginning have grown and changed. i hope most of these changes are for the better, though i know i am human and make mistakes. sometimes i turn right when i should have turned left. but anything you loved or hated about me from the beginning have not changed- these are the things that make us each different from each other and either magnetize or polarize from others.

June 22, 2007

“the AMERICAN dayDREAMer - die-a-tribe”

when they rip the tickets i hope im on the ride with you. sleepless in seattle and pretty much everywhere else- wont bore you with the details, but actually i probably will. you dont have to be a train to come off track. dont have to have feathers to flee the coop. i dont gotta tell you about my adventures, i keep them in my head and forget them and remember them every once in awhile. i watch them on projector screens while you are talking about your magazine or countdown. were flypaper baby- but nothings sticks. molded from teflon and porcelain. doesnt take much shining around for you to want to get back under that rock you crawled out from. i found a point when i was searching for pointlessness. i found a love when i was looking for madness. gonna save your sweat for when we get to heaven. autocratic hearts and throats- tongues loving on the skin and words- listening too carefully and robbing them of their beauty. you only think im blooming when im wilting on the outside. dying to be dearly forgotten, not wrongly remembered. florescent yellow in the toilet bowl. i love holding strangers hands, pulses matching, beating just off the p.a. speakers. you dont have to sell me on how this isnt real, cause my guts are whats in deep not my head or my heart. sometimes i get the feeling when i walk into a room like im in some movie from the forties where ive been shipwrecked and marooned on a desert island, only to return to a life that is no longer mine. or maybe just a raft adrift, except i slept through the s.o.s. calls. the caveman frozen in ice analogy works as well, only i am too lazy to transcribe it. im projecting. im bobbing and weaving. im deflecting. only cos i want to mean more than all of this. i lost it at woodrow and nichols, brakes ground to my teeth. just a kid strung out on neon lights

June 26, 2007

dear man in the mirror: get over yourself.

i love it when people wonder how its gonna end.

my right hand is fucked.

boxers fracture im pretty sure and a cut down the front that we super glue every night.

if i shake you yr hand with my left thats why.

im clumsy-

with both actions and words.

what happens in vegas stay in vegas except for when brendon hit me with a bowling ball.

deaths just the other bookend on this thing, so who cares.

posted by xo at 12:28 AM

June 28, 2007

The world is your oyster, what does that mean? That I'm just grinding sand waiting to be sucked down by box dye blondes and chased with hynotik. .... dumb-luck, but there's no such thing as smart luck. Think It got us kicked out of vegas. Happy as a clam but how happy can clams be? Dreaming of being steamed or robbed of their only worldly possession, pearls, sounds like a total soccer mom fantasy- only with upscale spas and mugger fantasies. I am a starfish waiting to regenerate a point. Till then, I am kind of pointless. I got a bad rap for not caring but I still pay taxes and wear my seat-belt in back seats- though I'm considering changes. I am a fixer-upper. Feeling the buzz but too far off the hive for any of the other bees to get it. And man I gotta tell you, the years are like friends in your old hometown. They stop being so friendly. They only want to reminisce. And no matter what they keep moving and changing you whether you want them to or not. The doctor says I need to stop talking with my fist and do more talking with my mouth. I told him I was never too great at that either- that it was usually my mouths talking that had to get my fist involved in the conversation. He said well then I had better start throwing a good left or hope I can play bass one handed. Neither seems too reasonable right now. Thinking maybe I should just stop all together. I order every movie in hotel rooms just so I don't feel alone. Its a very home alone moment for me, you know without the holiday music and cute culkin looks, but I'm hoping you are catching my drift anyway. Yes, for those who wonder there are other journals online. Sometimes I kind of leave bread-crumbs to get home to them for you. Sometimes I just space out. I also have a pen and paper diary and some letters and what not that I have been typing on my typewriter. I've been working on other visual art too, nothing I like well enough to show anyone. Its more for my own piece of mind. Drive, fuck, and sleep safe. I'd like to know that you awaken in the morning with out a headache or blurry eyes. Love is in the air, just get ourselves the right equipment to grab it. Its like moths headed for the brightest light, which aint me. But I'm ready to sweat and run and get there. And just cause you got a scar on your wrist or a charcoal stomach, were supposed to get eachother? Cause I don't really even get me. I'm too busy calling everyone else crazy- in these late slurred debates on how everyone else is not exactly like us- to worry about you calling me crazy. Tho all the other rhymes for crazy work on me lazy, hazy, etc.

someone has some great pictures of this past week. if i find any, ill post some.

June 28, 2007

from pete's friends or enemies blog

June 28, 2007

“the pretend”

i never really appreciate the compliments people give me. i feel like people say them because they feel like they have to- "youre hot"- except in my head i dont see myself that way so it doesnt mean a thing. "you played great tonight"- except i probably didnt because its not really my thing. "i love your words"- except they only make sense to me out of patricks mouth. "i love you"- but you wouldnt if you knew me. and so on.

but the other day my friend told me: "you have an incredible sense of the pretend". and it made me shake. just in the way that its all i believe. i dont care too much for the ins and outs of the world we are inside. i like the one in my head far better. it is not chronological or pragmatic. but it meant alot to me.

as did this...

so i cant fully remember writing this entry. that is because my brain is scattered and resets all of the time. the only thing i save room for are faces and memories. maybe it is a collection of entries. but apparantly someone cared enough to remember or patch together an entry from a year ago... so thank you (i think they made little changes or additions here and there). its funny because i am in vancouver all over again, it rings so much more true now.

"and like florence nightingale and nurses through history. we fall in love with those were protecting and curing. we dream big and then wake up everyday and hunch over computer screens. and everytime we let our fingers go it amounts to a little more than the worlds smallest violin paying just for you. here i am half asleep between vancouver and salt lake city. can't remember the last time i had a conversation with you that wasn't from between the dotted lines of the highway. i don't want sheep or parrots. i feel like we have a vested interest in each other. it's love of sorts. you were there in the beginning, you've stuck around when everyone else climbed aboard, i hope you're there when it's gone. for all the times we've come off course, you have always served as a compass. steady. unforgiving. at times hard to find. but you were always there. this probablly isn't worth your time to read. but as long as you do we'll keep playing small, secret shows. we'll keep writing this. we'll keep ignoring what they say. this is we- everyone- the haters, the newbies, the so, the ckk, ock. a collective [[sigh of relief]]. everyone always asks what's the cure of growing up? this is it. it's you. the smiling faces screaming and 'doging' security in the front row. the kid that waits outside after the show until their hands are blue just to say hi. don't ever let me fucking forget it. we don't deserve this. but now that we got it. we will do our best to keep it like a kiss in the corner of our mouths. for our heads to your speakers, to your ears, to your mouths, to you, your fingers, to us, to our mistakes, to our heads and back. the new songs are coming. what if for one moment we became everyone we dreamed we could be? there is a buzzing from outside of this darkened room. as though if i walked down the hallway past their sleeping faces, red in the warmth of the afternoon. i would walk into the first day of my life. light gleaming off the windshield- like the wizard of oz after the color washes over everything. like i could start all over again- only with the same faces that are imprinted on my heart forever. and my same bed. and dogs. and ex- loves. and friends. save your troubles for another day, they wern't at the end of the hallway. baby boy, you're too busy writing tragedy to notice. we're shaping up to do big things. and you're nothing special. except.. what if you are? "

posted by xo at 8:01 PM

June 29, 2007

i never really appreciate the compliments people give me. i feel like people say them because they feel like they have to- "youre hot"- except in my head i dont see myself that way so it doesnt mean a thing. "you played great tonight"- except i probably didnt because its not really my thing. "i love your words"- except they only make sense to me out of patricks mouth. "i love you"- but you wouldnt if you knew me. and so on.

but the other day my friend told me: "you have an incredible sense of the pretend". and it made me shake. just in the way that its all i believe. i dont care too much for the ins and outs of the world we are inside. i like the one in my head far better. it is not chronological or pragmatic. but it meant alot to me.

as did this...

so i cant fully remember writing this entry. that is because my brain is scattered and resets all of the time. the only thing i save room for are faces and memories. maybe it is a collection of entries. but apparantly someone cared enough to remember or patch together an entry from a year ago... so thank you (i think they made little changes or additions here and there). its funny because i am in vancouver all over again, it rings so much more true now.

"and like florence nightingale and nurses through history. we fall in love with those were protecting and curing. we dream big and then wake up everyday and hunch over computer screens. and everytime we let our fingers go it amounts to a little more than the worlds smallest violin paying just for you. here i am half asleep between vancouver and salt lake city. can't remember the last time i had a conversation with you that wasn't from between the dotted lines of the highway. i don't want sheep or parrots. i feel like we have a vested interest in each other. it's love of sorts. you were there in the beginning, you've stuck around when everyone else climbed aboard, i hope you're there when it's gone. for all the times we've come off course, you have always served as a compass. steady. unforgiving. at times hard to find. but you were always there. this probablly isn't worth your time to read. but as long as you do we'll keep playing small, secret shows. we'll keep writing this. we'll keep ignoring what they say. this is we- everyone- the haters, the newbies, the so, the ckk, ock. a collective [[sigh of relief]]. everyone always asks what's the cure of growing up? this is it. it's you. the smiling faces screaming and 'doging' security in the front row. the kid that waits outside after the show until their hands are blue just to say hi. don't ever let me fucking forget it. we don't deserve this. but now that we got it. we will do our best to keep it like a kiss in the corner of our mouths. for our heads to your speakers, to your ears, to your mouths, to you, your fingers, to us, to our mistakes, to our heads and back. the new songs are coming. what if for one moment we became everyone we dreamed we could be? there is a buzzing from outside of this darkened room. as though if i walked down the hallway past their sleeping faces, red in the warmth of the afternoon. i would walk into the first day of my life. light gleaming off the windshield- like the wizard of oz after the color washes over everything. like i could start all over again- only with the same faces that are imprinted on my heart forever. and my same bed. and dogs. and ex- loves. and friends. save your troubles for another day, they wern't at the end of the hallway. baby boy, you're too busy writing tragedy to notice. we're shaping up to do big things. and you're nothing special. except.. what if you are? “

June 30, 2007

I have a new girlfriend

The iphone.

posted by xo at 4:46 PM

[tolerateit]

over the last 4 years I've lent 5k to a relative for their family who keeps promising to pay it all back whenever they get a chance. they moved abroad to make more money and i don't understand what's not quite working out for them because i know dozens of people that do the same and manage to actually send money back to their families but their case is the opposite. it's quite a sum but it's been fine for me because im lucky to have a decently paying job. but the market has become difficult in the last year. not to the point where i need the money back, but to a point where i cant lend them more money. in this time, they started asking for more and more every couple of months. that's how we got to that sum above. and asking for bigger favors too, which i cant help with. and now they're asking for 5k more, asap. at this point that's all i have in savings that im keeping for a rainy day for my family. i can't afford to give it to anyone, no matter how close we are. and they've resorted to telling me how difficult the situation has been for them, while all im thinking is "why didnt you plan for this earlier instead of asking me for money two days before you need to pay things? and why havent you gotten any sort of job in the last few years at all?" i even helped them get certifications and training that they no longer understand or know because that kind of knowledge requires regular practice. and im at a point where all i can see is their bad financial decisions like buying expensive things and taking trips while they're saying they cant afford to even put food on the table and it's giving ME anxiety? what kind of an adult are you, i cant look after YOUR family too i have my own to look after. i got a couple of other jobs because of the rough market, they haven't got a single one because "they dont have the time" which honestly im now reading as they dont want to work in food service that's always hiring because people will look down on them. and i know they're gonna come back in a few months asking for more because from their financial explanations their expenses are about double their income, but then again, whose fault is that? why get the flashy brand names when cheaper things work just as well and they won't make you broke? and my biggest issue is that this whole thing started ramping up once i briefly mentioned how much i had in savings. ive given half of my savings to them. and then spent a lot on hospitals because of health issues my family has had. i dont have anything left to give and i dont want to have another panic attack from their explanations of how difficult their situation is. and im stuck.

I'm so sorry they're being so difficult with you, it's just so frustrating when you've asked them outright and still don't get a response. Because like what else can you do after asking them multiple times, but I truly hope they pay you back if not all at once then at least in installments :/

[wiltedprimrose]

list of things ive done these past few months (and made me happy)

bought myself some fresh flowers and im so happy i might start buying flowers every once in a week or month!

saw rainbow (i bet not everyone would notice) on my way back home^^

start saving again (from scratch lol) and im so grateful i have enough for now

spending more time with my parents (incl eating, watching movies, driving around the town, telling stories, throwing jokes, and many more)

oh i bought myself a new ring. cute one with a simple floral design><

painted my nails in dusty mauve colour!!!! i think im gonna get the cherry red nail polish real quick

finished my monthly tasks!

went to several wedding ceremonies and lunch party invitations with a friend and we always wear matching outfits lol (and still counting)

accompany a friend to a barber shop lmao even tho i focused so much on my phone but it was quite fun

ate lots of papayas! (it might sounds basic BUT NO i grew them from seeds and now they producing so much fruits! im deeply touched by that fact!!! theyre like my children!)

harvested chillies… i know i often harvested them BUT THIS ONE WAS DIFFERENT. IT WAS BIG AND SPICYYYYY TO THE POINT I SHED A TEAR WHILE EATING THEM (i also grew them from seeds)

finally had a new refrigerator ive been longing for hahaha. it was a dream come true moment bc whenever i went to a mart i’d always look for this cupboard-like refrigerator and said i’ll buy it later

got byredo blanche tester and im obsessed with the smell!

ate salmon sashimi with a little wasabi (turned out wasabi wasnt that bad i never tried it bc im afraid it’d had a weird taste)

bought myself some new clothes… pants, vest, tops, sweatshirt, and a white skirt!

ate so much cheesecakes and tried a carrot cake with raisins in it

bought a cute black totebag with a cute keycharm as well! (most important part is…. it fits my umbrella as i love to bring umbrella these days kkkk)

started using highlighter on my face and surprisingly it sits perfectly on my skin… MY SKIN IS LITERALLY GLOWING

drinking tons of hot peppermint tea and chamomile tea!!!

binge watching “teasing master takagi-san” (the live action series) and “the makanai: cooking for the maiko house” you guys should go watch em 10/10 recommended

giving gifts to my friends><

reminiscing old memories with old friends:) (and i realized that i forget a lot of things)

drinking juice or fresh milk and eating fruits everyday!

catching up with my friends, meeting their parents, and visiting their house^^

cut my hair short so my hair always looks half-up half-down whenever i tied them AND IM HAPPY BC I THINK IT LOOKS PRETTY

went to another city with friends and spent 3 days 2 nights with them<3

bought a new pair of shoes. FINALLY! bc it was my long time wishlist (maybe 7 years)

chatting and laughing and throwing compliments towards people i just met… at mosque or anywhere

ate mie ayam (with kerupuk!!) and nasi liwet ayam sambal pecak with friends and we shared so much joy & laughter

went to get some facial treatment with a friend every month. we waited for each other and we really enjoyed it

walked and chatted with a friend under an umbrella on a rainy day. it was so serene & had some kind of romantic vibes to the point that i thought we were going to shoot a music video HAHA

received five boxes of bricks characters from a friend! SO HAPPY

changed my shampoo so now my hair smells really nice even after 2 days or maybe more (bc i wash my hair every 2 days) lol the smell lasts for a long time im afraid people might think i use an expensive hair mist><

bought some books that had been on my wishlist for so longgg^^

bought a new washing machine (out of nowhere) for my parents lol

my friend gave me his workplace’s keyring!!! it was so random but okay hahaha (i wouldnt forget the effort he made to give me that keyring)

watched a movie with a friend and ate a big piece of honey sweet potato in a mall’s parking lot with the windows’ car opened while listening to my playlist! i have this much love for honey sweet potato but after i broke up with my ex i never had it anymore so i decided to create new memories with friends & enjoy that honey sweet potato!

bought matcha creamy latte and chocolate latte with a friend and then enjoyed it while sitting in the car watching the sun sets. IT WAS PRETTY RELAXING

met elementary kids at mosque! they complimented me several times from the time i got off the car, said that im pretty and cute. one of them even poke my cheek. they asked me about lot of things so i answered and just talked to them. i love seeing their bright smiles, hearing their excited tone while talking to me. we also played rock paper scissors! when i said i gotta go home, they made me do pinky promise with them, they told me to promise them that i’d go back there someday to play together again

—tbc

[taestykookie]

YOU ARE THE SWEETEST @solecize <3 <3 <3 I LOVE YOU ALREADY TT_TT

my on-repeat playlist is either punk rock or k-pop hahahaa

save me - bts (one of my go to's and my car’s natural bass just makes it pop offffff especially when i’m sitting there in traffic TT_TT )

either way - ive (this has been on repeat because it’s inspiration for a pivotal scene in my jungkook story seven and it’s one of my favorites from them)

left and right - charlie puth ft. jungkook (i really love that part of the chorus where it does play on the left and right speakers individually…plus JK <3 it’s such a good song)

people - agust d (same as #2, but it’s the main inspiration for my yoongi story people. it’s one of my absolute favorites and iono…this rainy weather here in CA right now + this song = the story’s inspiration)

good day - weeekly (i just started listening to them and it’s super catchy even if it’s repetitive)

catastrophe - atreyu (one of the few non k-pop songs to grace the playlist. i love blasting this in my car, airpods…in general hahaha #ripears)

crazy stupid love - twice (HANDS DOWN one of my favorite songs from them. the harmonizing is seriously insane and dahyun a born writer. WHO HURT HER??? i am seeing them this weekend in vegas and I AM READY FOR THIS SONGGGGG)

close to me - blackswan (found this randomly through yt shorts and iono...it grew on me!)

one day - monsta x (same thing as #2)

god’s menu - stray kids (please...bang chan in the pre-chorus and that move he does makes me absolutely weak)

tagging: @dsgirl2024, @cumsuga, @jknoah, @hobicorewhore, @dirtychocolatechai *first mutuals that popped up* <3 <3 <3

! "10 on repeat shuffles" tag game !

rules: shuffle your on repeat playlist and post the first 10 tracks, then tag 10 people

tagged by: no one but started by @galaxycunt when i saw the post on my dashboard. thank u hellsite algorithm~

will include a little excerpt of explanation on why it could be in my on-repeat playlist + not include an artist repeat

obstacles - syd matters (last song from the sub homesick alien playlist + notable time wave vibe songs cause it is also in the life is strange game)

tinnitus - txt (part of my audiophiles' eargasm playlist where i wanna hear a godly-produced song with my best headphones)

duvet - boa (i think it has been in my on repeat since 2021 when i watched serial experiments lain and has never left. a notable song for terra incognita)

this is why - paramore (just heard the whole album last month and every time i listen to this song, i'm in a state of catharsis cause I CAN RELATE)

tom sawyer - rush (having been particularly obsessed with the iron claw movie, this song is stuck in my head and i swear i love prog rock even more + i'll be learning the bass line of this song hopefully)

euphor - novo amor, lowswimmer (heard this for the novo amor concert i went to last week (even though they didn't perform it). part of the beomgyu time wave's spinoff playlist)

solsbury hill - peter gabriel (another addition to my audiophiles' eargasm playlist cause it sounds so odd that it's so interesting)

weird fishes/arpeggi - radiohead (the song that embodies me as a person + have been putting it on repeat during my bday because it's the day that i just embraced my self of being a pisces which includes hearing this playing in the car and a solo date to the aquarium)

follow you follow me - genesis (the song that reminds me of soobin idk why. it's also in my sub homesick alien playlist)

do hot girls like chords? - knower (heard this from micthesnare and it's my introduction to indietronica and jazz-funk (cause i've already know acid jazz from jamiroquai)

tagging: (based on the last 10 moots that show up on my dash) @boba-beom @stardragongalaxy @lovejoshua @txt-yaomi @euphor1a @junniieesbby @itz-yerin @pyeonghongrie @dido-of-the-endless @robin-obsessed and anyone who wants to join! (new songs to listen to yes pls)

[candyunicornsateme]

Kenny wants to show Kyle the stars again and says “I want to show you something” and takes him into the woods at night and after about 10 steps in Kyle’s like “This would be really creepy if I didn’t know you”

[butchford]

I think the idea of Momoe helping infect the wonder egg girls with transgenderism is Good but also Momoe helping Rika figure out she’s nonbinary and Rika happily announcing it to the rest of the gang only for Neiru to be like “me too wtf” while Ai just says “I’m also trans :)” and Rika just stands there like. WHY didn’t any of u say anything.