#ive been playing a lot of video games too
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I've got too many games I want to play and not enough free time 😭 I still need to finish my BG3 playthrough but since Endless Ocean: Luminous came out I've been playing a lot of that instead. Also just got back into Wizard101 last night. Started playing House Flipper again last weekend. Still need to finish BOTW so I can start a TOTK playthrough and finish Pokemon Shield so I can start on Pokemon Violet. I've been fighting off the urge to start up a new Skyrim playthrough for weeks. My brother just told me that Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door is getting ported to the Switch. And now I'm suddenly feeling inspired to replay DAI... And throughout all of this I'm also playing the hell out of DragonVale on my phone. Someone just pay me to play video games all day please
#and before anyone suggests it: no i cant try to get into streaming#the way i play video games is extremely frustrating for other people to watch ahdjsksl#no one is going to give me money for producing a video where i spend two hours checking every barrel in the map while juggling my inventory#and then immediately give up on a puzzle and just sit in silence for 30 minutes while i look up a walkthrough instead#i need a situation that pays me $200 a day just to be autistic at the screen alone in the comfort of my own home#rambling#a few years ago i made it a mission to play all of the dragon age games and dlcs in order and i did not complete it#i got all the way to inquisition before i quit#i had already played it on ps3 but i wanted to replay on my new gaming laptop and unfortunately my computer decided it was too complicated#and also i just wanted to play as an elf again and i was resisting that urge bc i played as an elf the first time and wanted something new#so i didnt connect to my character as much#BUT ive learned a lot about optimizing my games from getting bg3 to run on my computer#so i think i could get it to handle dai now. especially if i upgrade to ssd like ive been wanting#and i just saw a dai post on my dash that made me daydream about possible characters and i was struck with inspiration#when i first played through on ps3 i didnt know anything about da lore. it was my first dragon age game#i was just doing whatever i thought seemed coolest#so i basically modeled my inquisitor after my dnd oc and then just picked a vallaslin i thought was pretty#and then when it came time to pick a specialization i was just like 'i mean my hand has rift magic right? seems obvious enough'#but now i know the LORE. and the dalish really interest me. and i want to make an inquisitor thats their own character#i didnt want to replay another elf mage bc i thought it would be too similar#but at the same time i wanted to re-experience dai (and experience trespasser for the first time) now that i knew more about the dalish#(with mods that fix the annoying bits where your character seems to not know about their own religion of course lol...)#i was thinking about that and i just got hit with some inspiration#instead of 'my dnd character but with a cool tattoo and rift magic and they kinda roll with the inquisitor stuff bc idk whats going on'#what if i made a more intentional character with a much different personality and their own backstory#theyre still the first of their clan but i know what that means now so theyre not really into the herald of andraste stuff#theyre a devotee of falon'din with his vallaslin and fittingly choose necromancy specialization (tho theyre annoyed by all the maker talk)#they can look cool and goth and maybe they even make some different choices about the well of sorrows 👀#i could keep rambling but im running out of tags gah#anyways ive got lots of ideas now and i think the playthrough would be unique enough to be worth it
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semester is almost over. im dying
#my oc#rune#mori#i have a project due tomorrow and its finally scared me back into drawing#even though i should be working on this project but im SO SO SO TIRED#i went on an outing like 2 weeks ago the same week that i walked everywhere cause i was desperately#trying to get my taxes done but thats a different story but the point is i was walking a lot and i went on an outing where i stood all day#and then i had to go to class the very next day thinking i was fine but i wasnt.#and that same day after i walked across the city because i absolutely had to pick a thing up. i think the same week i met up with my mom#a couple of times but i was walking the whole way there. my point is that for 2 weeks straight i have been rigorously walking everywhere#and on my feet all the time with little breaks in between and my feet fucking hurt man#i need this semester to be OVER i need to sleep for a MONTH#but i cant because i have to scrape together SOME of this project and finals are next week#this class this project is for fucking sucks. all semester ive been teetering the line between pass and fail#and its not even my fucking fault. im so burnt out so i dont want to do this project. but i might fail if i dont#i need to at least demo it but i have like. one thing done and i dunno what to tell my TA about i#how do i tell my TA and prof that everything is too much for me so i absolutely could work on this project#my laptop is broken so im afraid to use it. the server kept going down last month so i was afraid to use that#so many stupid little things keep piling up and i'd sound really weird trying to explain why i cant do my work#because my desk is on the floor and it makes me really sad so no i cant do my hw. my fave candy has red40 in it so i had to stop eating it#but now i cant do my work because i was using it to help me focus on my hw. LIFE SUCKS BRO#anyway whatever happens. i cant wait to play video games again
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it makes sense of course that you would not be able to then have a down payment if he doesn't agree to it (since it's a mutual expense too) but don't you have your own money to buy stuff that you want?
Yes and no. All of my money is his money and all of his money is my money. IE we share everything, even if we have it in our 'own' accounts, it's expected that it I need something (like gas in my car) and I don't get paid for 2 days, he pays for it. Or if we need groceries and he doesn't get paid until the end of the week, I buy them. If I want to buy something not in our budget, I generally ask him for permission to do so. He usually doesn't say no unless it would be an exorbitant espense (more than $50 or so). If I want something but can only be purchased online, I ask him to purchase it for me.
This works best for us because I work part time and sometimes don't get hours at all on days I'm scheduled to come in. For example I was scheduled yesterday, but since there was only one appointment, I didn't go in. We would have a slightly different arrangement if I was working full time, but I'd still ask permission to buy things. We also are not well off by any stretch of the imagination, as the only thing that keeps us above the poverty line is his works generous bonus system. So our budgeted monthly 'fun' money that doesn't go to savings is about $30.
#he generally also asks me as well even if its just for my opinion#unless its a surprise gift for me#like he recently bought me a magic the gathering card i really wanted as an update to a deck i have#but he didnt tell me he was buying it#although we had discussed/joked about getting it i didnt think he actually would#because its just an alternate art card for a card i already have/own/use#not queued#he wouldnt do something like that on something worth a lot of money tho#the card was like 7$ and he has a TCG account so i think he got free shipping on it as well.#i also generally dont want for much#like as an example i do my own nails because i dont want them getting messed up at a salon#the only reason i get frivolous things like a massage or my lashes done is because i get it 50% off at my place of work#and its not like thats once a week#ive never been one for buying new clothes or shoes all the time and in fact have too many already so i should get rid of some#we only buy video games during christmas or summer sales#and my main form of entertainment is practically free because only one of us need a subscription for us to play d&d
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noclip documentary on Legacy of Kain coming out in November, just in time to properly hype me up for the remaster coming out in December
#my entire relationship with the Legacy of Kain series is that my brothers rented Soul Reaver from blockbuster when i was in. 4th grade?#and of course I couldn't play but i watched them play about an hour and i was OBSESSED#and then i was never able to play it at all ever#how much of that game did i actually see them play? no idea#i just have flashes of a memory of raziel slinking around killing people and it might have been my first video game crush lmaooo#by the time i was old enough to think 'huh i should maybe play this for myself' it was too old to work on any equipment i had access to#i never watched a lets play (which i did for a lot of video games i couldnt play in highschool). maybe i couldnt find one?#every now and then ive remembered it and felt a Longing#no way it lives up to the half-remembered dream of an impression its left in my brain#google let me know this summer that the graphic novel was happening and i thought.... hmmm....#so when they finally did announce the remaster i felt a) vindicated b) sad that im breaking my 'no new games' THRICE this year
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i need to think about the potential of kakyoin and pucci teenage friendship at the evil vampire mansion more!!!
#i think ive joked about it here before a little bit like Oh dio brainwashed kakyoin so pucci would have a friend his age lol but ACTUALLY…..#like actually……think about it. like theyre both these isolated lonely teen with a lot of baggage and problems and theyre in this weird#fucked up enviroment and theyre the only people around each others age. and like personality wise too like theyre both polite and in their#heads a lot but they both have their weirdo tendencies. theyd click. pucci asks kakyoin if he wants to come to bible study with him. kakyoin#teaches pucci how to play video games. think about it. theres funny potential here.#but also like kakyoin doesnt stay at the mansion that long and when the dio fleshbuds removed his memories of it become blurry. he forgets#this weird kid he met. and pucci hears that kakyoin was the first to get sent to challenge the joestars and for a moment questions Why Him?#dio has so many loyal servants so why did he sent the one pucci had befriended to the wolves? and selfishly he thinks it would have been#better if it had been someone else#but then he just assumes that they killed kak (he never discovers the truth) and says a quick prayer for him but with the many deaths that#follow he slowly forgets about this one friend he had#just another name to briefly recall while holding a rosary#jojo
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lune playing cuphead in class silly silly
#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#owhhh i missed playing video games w extended family/lots of other people so badly#i only won once out of a few games of mario kart and i didnt win 1st at all for smash but FUN#okay i miss playing games. actual games. by which i mean smth that isn't ffxiv or gbf to me or mobile LMFAO#i will replay ffxv soon i hope and play gow! :]#but also my priority really is studying and shit so aaa sobbing fuck everything on earth#anyway tho yeah cuphead. love that game#i love a challenge ^___^ but i don't play cuphead enough LMFAO and i have been neglecting my steam games sorry#i think i'll play later today after doing my homework for tomorrow? esp bcs..... dragon age.......... really want to play it#i played it even before xiv actually so when i started (you see it was my first. game like that i actually played w a controller and not#mobile or w a mouse w those free games online by which i'm talking abt games where u click buttons to attack and shit like mmos)#so i was like yooo when playing xiv! oh the controls are like da! little baby gamer oh hell#except ive only played like 2 hours worth on xbox and only ever origins so. yeah. BUT I REALLY WANT TO PLAY MORE okay#ohhhhhhh i love video games so much but it's good i've been distancing myself unconsciously and unpurposely for a while since it ptherwise#takes up too much of me and my time. but idrc LMFAO but priorities first !!
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I don't feel 20
#my stuff#like... i feel like my life should be so different. but its not aside from me having a job.#i feel immature in a lot of ways.#i don't drink i don't do any drugs i don't date or have sex. when im not working im playing video games and drawing.#like i have been for my entire life. my friends are going to clubs and living in their own houses with their own cars and meeting new people#and i feel like ive stagnated.#and i know the dating/sex thing is just who i am. and really theres nothing wrong with not drinking either tbh. i dont even really like the#taste of alcohol anyways.#but idk. i feel like a coward for not trying. i feel like im too clingy and dependent and small and soft and lazy.#ugh.#this is probably the time talking.
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.... I feel bad bc my friend is sad ) :
#miranda talking shit#I feel a bit guilty too... I think thabks to my meds i am taking this better than normal but yeah#Fabian and me have only like spoken twice over the past month or two? Which is not much#Considering we have basically talked almost daily for years (a minimum at once per week) ...#The irony is that he implied that he was too big of an part of my life before we had this ... Break#... But as far as i know the few friends he have... Are the ones we have in common. Two irl friends . And me#Hes .... Been feeling lonely. He is now. He wants to talk to people etc and im like ): ...#I... Like oliver said 'i think fabian takes solitude a lot harder than you do. He does mind being alone' and yeah...#I think i may have unintentionally made him rely on me rather hard for socializing... For years hes basically only been in my social 'hot'#Zone. And now he have ended up in my 'cold' zone for the first time for this long... Like oliver said i dont mind solitude.#I grew up playing pretend on my own 80% of my time at home. Now i can get in isolation periods where im focusing on a video game#And literally not... Talk to anyone for a month or more. Then i talk to someone again and i realize i had been lacking social time but i#Dont actively... Feel it. I only get lonely at night badly id like to share bed with someone. But ... Yeah. Fabian is probably used to#Getting all this attention from me constantly and now im... Not providing it. Bc im focusing on other people socially...#I said im glad he shared feeling lonely with me and that i am here for him etc but...#I feel like ive failed him. Is failing him. Idk... I know its not my fault and so on but... My social... Functions have many downsides#I probably make people feel very special. I love to listen and ask about everything and encourage them and such. But then i can just stop#Talking for a long period of time and its .... Its never intentional but its how ive always been. Its why ive always kept to having like 3#Friends up until becoming an adult and now jts... Its hard. I love many people and i want to give them as much of me as possible at a time#So instead of dividing myself to everyone always... I give one or two people all my attention at a time
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I am BORED someone give me enrichment NOW
#rat rambles#I can only replay cotl so many times (finished my fourth playthrough yesterday) any my sibling still has the switch#like I technically also got incription a while back but Im still debating between if I wanna try streaming ut or not#mainly idk if its the sort of game that my laptop would scream at or not and I wanna go in as blind as possible#I considered streaming cotl but dear god does my laptop hate running it even without also streaming#thank god they added the auto cooking and fishing features fucking life savers#I already have over 100 hours in the game for some reference of how much Ive been playing it#I might have to try for the rest of the damageless boss achievements Im missing since theyre all I need for all achievements#I got damageless leshy on my first try tho so thats fun#Im thinking I might have to go for golden fleece strats + wraiths to get kalamar at least since Im too impatent to dodge good#my strat across all viddy games is to kill the guy before they kill me and its gotten me this far so xhdjgdkdy#rly I actually need the half a second kill strats for heket because dear god do I hate fighting her#not cause of her herself but because you have to fight two of my number 2 most hated mini boss#number one being that stupid bat guy also from anura cause I fucking HATE the flies#I used to hate barbados a lot more but theyre easy to read I was just stupid#anyways this is why I havent been posting much lol Ive been hyperfixating on this game hard and am embarrassed abt it dhdjgdjdh#not in like a. fandonfication way to be clear Im not going that low just as a video game#and I cant help but feel guilty abt it unfortunately 😔#Im not even being cringe but Im still not free hdkdhdmhfj
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I should play wizard 101 again.....
#ramble#sorry i was looking up video game osts for a playlist and i got nostalgic 😞#i should play t.oontown again too but im scared ;w;#once i tried playing corp clash and someone (who was being very nice tbh) tried talking to me n i got so anxious i closed the game 😭#ive played wiz101 as an adult too but it started with one night when i goofed around in it with a friend#but a couple other nights i played it on my own#there was never a lot of ppl and i was left alone which was good#but it mightve been bc i always played at real late hours of the night#but it was chill#havent played it again in years tho
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Bro I'm losing my god damn mind and I haven't even messed around with the new gameplay shit like at all. Ive spent the past like 5 hours just reading and looking at shit I haven't even played the damn video game
#rat rambles#oni posting#and unfortunately playing the damn video game will have to wait til tomorrow because its late bug holy shitttttt#this isnt even all of the new content that will be in the full dlc like holy shit#now one bit of sad news for the gamers is that the mysterious machine does not appear to be the temporal bow but it still seems neat#its currently locked tho so I cant comment too much on its full deal#based on in game disriptions tho it appears to be a geothermal generator of sorts#which is actually super cool considering the environmental storytelling surrounding it#well what I assume to be I have only generated one world so it could be some wild coincidence#but Im pretty sure the magma biome is mostly obsidian with only bits and pieces of magma which combined with the geothermal generator#situations and said building being on the cold planet paints a cool pocture#also I wasnt able to 100% comfirm this but uh. erm. I think we Might be getting one extra new dupe once the dlc comes out proper#lets just say I have reason to believe that harold might not be the only moreson to have gotten his dna stolen#its so jover guys how the hell am I supposed to sleep tonight#and worst of all Ive seen like 2 ppl talk abt the beta and it's been minor stuff hello is anyone there can anyone hear me#Im losing my god damn mind someone at least make a video where they just talk abt the new plants and critters and such#like we might Finally have a new oxygen method even if its low key just a cold oxyfern#I forgive it tho because of the context of it using ice as fertilizer#like that doesnt mean a whole lot on this planet but on most other planetoids that provides a rly interested challenge#ultimately it's not That hard to make ice if you have access to any level of cooling but its still cool to imagine how one would go abt#automating the whole process and making it more applicable to late game oxygen demands#also this is a massive update for nosh bean enjoyers as we finally have a second way to get ethanol lol#also the deep fryer is a fun concept even if Im not sure how worth it it'll be to go for it
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It boggles my mind how much wisdom you can gain from reading, yet people don't take advantage of it. It's the free gift to humanity, and yet we chose the ones that take more than they give. It's wild.
#i wish i could shake humanity to drop social media and turn back to books and papers for knowledge#ive realized recently that ive fallen a victim to the fallacy of thinking that instagram or yt is giving me a lot of knowledge and thats my-#-incentive to stay#but thats bullshit and if i continue lying to myself then ive lost it#and i know im not the only one and i also know that im not the worst case scenario of this#my teacher was talking about how one of his students gave up playing video games cause he was becoming dumb and dull#and he literally said “the damage has already been done because its not like his brains are going to come running to him now”#i was sitting there thinking if its too late for me#i know it might not be that deep and maybe it isnt#but its not about it being “deep” its simply the very real consequences that ill have to deal with if i dont rectify my life now#in terms of academicc and eveything else#i miss reading those massive hardcover encyclopedias and gaining my knowledge from that#i miss reading obscure charles darwin writings that i dig so hard for and then not understand a word of it#i miss the active choice and selection of what i was learning rathee than the mindless feeding of throw away facts to my brain#im gonna go pick up a book or two now bye hahahaha#txt
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me in shock when i have the weirdest ups and downs in moods and episodes as if i dont have mental illness's that have gone unchecked for a long while
#im ngl over the past couples of months multiple times ive thought 'huh this is getting a little scary maybe i need to go to a ward'#and the i wake up the next morning and im like nah i can deal w this on my own still im good. plus what if the food is gross#if anyone is wondering idfk if it matters but i haven't been posting or being hre a lot cuz tbh 90% of the time it is not me or#i am too tired to do anything but like play video game and neopets#luci is lollygagging#i feel like i wuld be a little less upset if i wasn't constantly in fucking PAIN and nothing is WORKING#and also if i wanna lie to myself the only reason im upset is bc it's getting marginally closer to my least favorite holidays such as#“thanksgiving” and christmas
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dumb obey me ideas that i just came up with:
pls don't take this seriously this is just a crack idea from me
An MC who actually has seven cats back in the Human World (crazy cat person or maybe a foster parent who takes in sick cats and orphan kittens) and each cat looks and acts like a cat version of each brother.
Magic happens and the seven cats get taken to the Devildom somehow, now MC + Brothers are stuck with seven cats who look way and act too alike with brothers, well at least Satan is pleased.
Names & Gender of the cats can vary but the cats are look and act fairly similar to how the brothers do, at least translated into cat behavior.
Brothers + their MC's Cats counterpart.
Lucifer - Black Cat with orangey-red eyes, the cat equivalent to a 'pack' leader among MC's cats, the eldest and certified mama/papa cat, often seen punishing the younger cats for playing too rough or being naughty kitties in general, acts mean and distant but opens up eventually.
Mammon - Long haired White Cat with blue eyes, naughty kitty who likes stealing MC's (and their neighbor's) things, usually it's things like laundry but has occasionally been caught with shiny objects like keys and jewelry, also steals and hoards all of the cat toys and no amount of spraying them with water can stop them.
Leviathan - Skinny Kitty, thinking one of those oriental cats with the big noses, awkward kitties who boot too big for his godamg feet. A Cat who is commonly found watching those bird videos and MC lets them play those 'squish the bug' games on an old ipad they have, it's funny to watch them try and pounce on a digital screen, probably has a lot of scratches on it.
Satan - A tabby cat, Kitty who's pretty normal but very easy to piss off. Try and touch their belly? Claws. Try and pick them up? Claws. Put one of those dumb outfits/hats on them? You best sleep with one eye open. Very hissy but becomes a baby immediately once in MC's arms.
Asmodeus - One of those very aesthetic, beautiful, expensive breed type cats. The type of cat you see having an social media account with thousands or even a million followers, very pretty kitty who's very affectionate and lays on MC's lap at all times.
Beelzebub - ORANGE CAT HERE, BIG ORANGE CAT WHO STEALS THE OTHER CATS' FOOD WHEN IT'S EATING TIME. if MC has one of those automatic feeders, it definitely just sits there, waiting for the food to fall out. The Cabinet that holds all the treats had to be given a child's lock because this orange bastard discovered how doors worked and made it MC's problem.
Belphegor - Sleepy Kitty, always sleeping. Has definitely given MC a panic attack because they fell so deep into sleep that MC straight up thought they were dead for like a full minute. When not asleep, they're off stealing chairs and beds. 'Oh hello human where you doing work on this laptop of yours well not anymore because ive chosen to park my ass right here and you can't move me, guess you gotta pay attention to me.' Smug bastard cat.
#obey me shall we date#obey me#obey me cats#cats#obey me headcannons#Obey me lucifer#Obey me Mammon#obey me leviathan#Obey me asmodeus#Obey me satan#Obey me belphegor#Obey me beelzebub
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Imagine self aware!twst with a streamer reader
Self aware!twst who were minding their own business(admiring you) untill they found out you're a streamer, and they talk about the recent events that are currently happening in the game
My inspiration is RoseEmber (I think that's her name?? Though the only inspo of her is the streamer part😞) she is so funny and amazing<3
(This is just me making a little rp thingy since self aware is too angsty coded, GIVE ME FLUFF OH MY GOD)
Idia: okay so a streamer means that you make live videos on this app or software that they call "twitch" and people watch them
Malleus: so, they let people watch them play? *hinted with jealousy and irritated*
Idia: yes, I know! It's such a dumb activity... Why would they even let people watch them while they play games?
Ortho: I think it's because they need money! Or because they like making people laugh? Ive seen them talking with the screen before and a lot of people were saying things!
Vil: oh? Money? Well, we just have to bring them into the game and we can just spoil them. Or we can maybe hack into their computer?
Kalim: Yeah! I agree with vil, we can spoil them I'm riches they never imagined.
Jamil: for once, I agree with kalim.
Idia: hack you say? I can do perfectly that. It seems their computer is easy to look at too.
Lilia: speaking of streaming! I saw them talking with the people that are watching them about this event that happened with me, azul, floyd, riddle, ace, and jack! It was in an island with this creature named stitch!
Riddle: oh god.. Please don't remind me.
Floyd: heh, what's wrong gold fish? You looked nice in that flower ring around your neck!
Riddle: we do not talk about that.
Azul: I must say, riddle did look funny yet good in those clothes.
Riddle: can we please get off this topic?
Jade: ah, I wish I was there so I can imagine the horror on your face.
Jade: ah I forgot to mention, I have been seeing them.. Gush about this new character called skully j. Graves. Apparently, this event involves me, leona, jamil, riddle, epel, sebek, idia, azul, trey, malleus and vil.
Riddle: god I still cannot believe skully actually kissed our hands..
Riddle: good thing Jamil brought hand sanitizer.
Sebek: They even kissed malleus-sama's hand without his permission!
Malleus: I was shocked and confused to say the least.
Leona: I'm more then glad Jamil brought hand sanitizer.
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ANYWAYS THAT'S ALL!! I'll be sure to be make more of these if I can (I lose motivation very fast)
#Twst#twst x reader#self aware twst x reader#self aware twst#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland x reader#self aware twisted wonderland#twst x reader fluff#self aware#˙ 𝅄ㅤ𝖻𝗈𝗈𝗉 𝖻𝗈𝗈𝗉! ♡ 𝅄۫ ⊹#Σ(゜゜𝐳𝐚𝐢𝐳𝐚𝐢 𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬#ꉂ(ˊᗜˋ 𝐑𝐮𝐥𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐲 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭♡#♪~(´ε`𝐒𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐰𝐛𝐞𝐫𝐫𝐲 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐜𝐚𝐤𝐞
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some thoughts on imagination and fulfilling ALL your desires, no matter how small ♡
hiii! just wanted to share with you guys some things ive been thinking about lately and a new discovery!
so first of all! i went through a little phase this previous weekend where i could not imagine for the life of me. i just could not concentrate, and i kept hyperfixating on every little sound in my room and it was very frustrating. i also could not fall asleep because i usually use daydreams to lull myself to sleep and i couldn't daydream! it was very frustrating.
(side note--at one point i wished that my room would just be silent and then i lost power for a few hours and my room WAS dead silent for a while, lol)
but then i was scrolling thru loatwt, like i do, and i found this acct @/scriptercas and they made a couple of posts about the way they imagine (i like this one too) and i tried it that night and i was DEEP in my imagination for like an hour straight. like me??? adhd aphantasia me???
i know that a lot of you guys are like me and have aphantasia and therefore can't see mental images and you can get discouraged by imagining, but this is definitely my new holy grail and i think this will work so well for you guys too!
(p.s. if you guys are into shifting, that account has some great advice! i'd really recommend!!)
i also recently re-read edward art's series, which i have mentioned in recent posts. once again, i know ive also said this recently, but i highly highly highly recommend reading it (or listening, there's also an audio form) if you haven't already! even if you just read the first five parts. i swear if you are still struggling to fully grasp the law, after you read it you will get it. it's so good.
i bring this up because in a lot of the parts, edward talks about building the habit of fulfilling every single desire--no matter how small--that you have, as it comes to you. and i've just been ruminating on this so much lately.
i remember at the beginning of my loa journey, there would be things that i wanted and i'd kinda mourn the fact that i didnt have them... when i didn't have to. i could've just fulfilled myself. but instead i had the idea in my head that "i'll manifest my sp first, and THEN i can get my desire of receiving flowers." or, "i'll manifest money first, and THEN i can buy the expensive things i want" or "i'll manifest my new apartment, and THEN i can host dinner parties for my friends" etc.
but what i've been thinking about lately--prompted by edward--is that you dont have to want for anything anymore. i can give myself any and everything i want in my imagination. i don't have to wait to manifest something else first.
this has really bolstered my imagination game as well. everything you want to do with or experience once you have your desire, you can have/experience in your imagination right now. and it really adds to your imaginings. it really helps immerse you more and helps you capture the feeling of it being real.
for example, when i was manifesting my apartment, i had sooo many things i wanted to experience once i'd manifested it. i wanted to have my friends over for game night and cook them dinner and make them cocktails. i wanted to bake in my spacious kitchen and have fancy utensils and expensive ingredients. i wanted to shower in my fancy shower and use expensive bath products. i wanted my own vanity stocked with expensive makeup and perfumes. i wanted a large walk in closet with rows and rows of gorgeous clothing. i wanted to come back from a night out and leave my clothes strewn about the bathroom bc i was too drunk to put them away, and no one was gonna see them or yell at me for leaving them there. like some of the things i desired for were so mundane, yet i felt the absence of them in my life every day. for example: living close to a target, being able to make adventurous meals without worrying if my family members would like them, playing video games with my friends in my own living room.
everything i just listed were things i wanted so badly once i had my apartment, but whenever id run into the opposite in my every day life, i wouldn't fulfill myself at first. like i'd go to cook the same old dinner i cooked for my family every other night and i'd be like "ugh i wish i could be in my own apartment where i did the grocery shopping and i could buy fresh ingredients and make an elaborate meal instead of just having pasta and jarred sauce again." but then i realized that if i were in my dream apartment i would be able to do that. i spent so much time imagining waking up in my new apartment and what it would look like, but in the end, imagining stuff like this is what really helped me to fulfill myself and catch the feeling of the wish fulfilled.
i was really reminded of that whenever i re-read edward's series, and now im applying it to my new desires as well. it's so funny that no matter how much i manifest or how much i learn i always find myself forgetting little tidbits like that that really help me and are very valuable.
anyway i just wanted to make this post to help you guys a little maybe! i was just in the shower and i was remembering edward saying to fulfill every little desire you have--not matter how small-- and i was remembering the days i used to imagine myself in my current shower, and id close my eyes and imagine the scent of the shampoo i wanted to get and i'd feel where every individual bath product would be placed once i had my own shower. and all that inspired me to write this!
i hope that this helps you guys out and/or gives you imagination motivation! i feel like it's important to imagine all the small things that pertain to your desire that maybe you overlook while imagining, but that you know you deeply yearn for even if u think they're mundane or that you'll just get them once you get your big, overarching desire <3
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