#- notebook for the vampire story ive been picking at

[aidenwaites]

A thing about me is if im gonna use a notebook for something it's going to get a Dedicated Notebook for that purpose and which i cannot use for anything else. Which means I have so many notebooks. Five of which are currently actively in use

[shadesofdeviant]

For the fanfic asks … all of them? 😁

HAHAHA Ginger! I mean...you said you'd ask for all of them XD So...I guess I'll answer them all XD.

🍄How do you come up with ideas for your stories?

A variety of ways, sometimes I get inspired to write an AU based on an episode of a show, or a novel etc. Or sometimes my brain just pops ideas into my head.

🍉Are you a pantser or a plotter?

I am very much a plotter. It's also why I don't often get much written because I need SO much to be planned before I can write.

🍒What genres/tropes do you find yourself using most often?

Fluff, 5+1, Domestic Slice of Life, AU's - I am an absolute sucker for AU's.

🥝Who are your literary influences, and have they shaped your own writing?

As much of a problematic person as they were, Anne Rice's first 3 vampire chronicles books were the books that got me thinking...oh I really wanna do this kind of thing. J R R Tolkien's descriptions very much shaped my own (i used to write horrifically long paragraphs). Neil Gaiman inspired my shorter style, quirky dialogue with inside jokes aimed at the reader.

🥕What's your favorite fic you've written, and why?

My favourite fic is a toss up between "Your Arms Are Like Corset Strings" (9-1-1, Buddie) and "Rainbow Coloured Monstrosity" (9-1-1: Lone Star, Tarlos).

The rest I'm gonna put under a cut haha or this post is gonna get SUPER long.

🥨How do you overcome writer's block?

When I work it out I'll tell you haha. I don't think I've ever managed beyond just pushing through and hate-smashing at the keyboard, or just waiting for the inspiration to come back by itself.

🍕What's your favorite comment you've received on a fic?

Honestly as cliche as it might sound, all comments I get are my favourites. I couldn't pick any specific ones, I enjoy comments so much.

🌭Do you have any writing rituals to help 'get in the zone'?

I use a lot of notebooks, I also get really sad and make powerpoint presentations of planning. Then I either listen to music, or put on some series that Ive seen enough times that it can be background noise.

🍔What's a headcanon that hasn't made it into a published fic yet?

I HC a few things for different people but they're not exactly huge things, but have a few examples. I headcanon that Alec Hardy is a huge fantasy novel fan. I headcanon that Eddie Diaz has chronic pain in his shoulders. I headcanon that Aziraphale hates the scent of pine.

🍭What's been your most challenging story to write, and why?

I'm writing a huge multi-part reincarnated soulmates AU, in which the soulmates meet each other throughout history and have different names etc. and it's...taking me soooo long. And honestly it's just because it so long and has so many historical points I need to research hahaha.

🍬What's a genre/trope you've never written, but might in future?

I'm...not sure tbh. Theres a lot of genre's/tropes I don't like or I'm not comfortable with so won't ever touch. But the ones I do like, I've attempted or I am in the process of attempting.

🍩What advice would you give to aspiring fic writers?

Just go for it. Find something you really, really want to see written and write it, because at the end of the day you write for yourself first and foremost. If you try to write to please everyone you'll stress yourself out too much.

🌶How dependent are you on feedback, good or bad?

Bad feedback is never warranted. I do not write for profit so therefore do not need amazon style reviews. Nor do I ask for constructive criticism. I appreciate if someone wants to tell me they like what I wrote though.

🥑What are you currently working on?

I am currently working on a bunch of things: Doctor Who x Good Omens crossover - The events of "The Giggle" with Crowley tagging along. Broadchurch Whump - 2 entries, poor Alec is getting tormented. Broadchurch x Good Omens x Rab C Nesbitt crossover - Alec, Crowley and Davina are identical triplets. Shenanigans ensue. Buddie birthday gift for someone dear to me. Buddie soulmates AU.

🍹How do you decide a story is ready to post?

I finish writing it haha. I let it come to a natural stopping point and then try not to over think it.

🍊What's a story that changed significantly from its initial idea to the final draft?

My reincarnated soulmates AU. I've changed so many historical points and condensed some and completely scrapped a whole half of it haha.

🥠What's your approach to world-building?

Powerpoints. Powerpoints and mind maps haha. If I'm going AU I will plan it like I'm Tolkien creating middle earth haha XD.

🍎How do you prioritize which stories to work on when you have multiple ideas?

I don't. My brain goes brrr and tries to plan all of them at once to the point I can't work on ANY of them haha.

🌮How do you balance the desire to write for yourself versus the desire to write for an audience?

I have been writing on and off since I was 13, and I used to write entirely for the audience and it stressed me out. Whilst I enjoy audience responses and like to receive comments confirming that they enjoyed what I wrote, if I don't like it, I won't post it, but if I enjoyed what I wrote I will love it regardless.

[rigginsstreet]

Tagged by @monicasposh

1. what’s your favourite genre to write?

i guess just like... slice of life? imma just be real i like writing simple shit cuz its easier lmao the less convoluted/the less action/the less detail i gotta write, the better. i also heavily lean towards romance. i do love me some angst and shockingly i do not write nearly enough of it

2. do you pull inspiration from real-life, or do you pull things from other books/fanfiction you’ve read?

i have no real life to speak of so everything is heavily pulled from other media

3. do you tend to write one-shots, short stories, or longer things?

one shots

4. do you prefer to write description or dialogue?

dialogue babyyy! if i could write a whole fic of just dialogue i would

5. favorite fic/book of all time?

my default answer is always twilight. books dont hit me the same way movies and shows do so its hard picking favorites

6. favorite trope?

i mean i love anything angsty so like, unrequited love, mutual pining, doomed romances. i like to be sad. makes me feel alive.

7. are you the kind of person to work on more than one WIP?

i will have multiple wips going but i tend to work on one fic at a time which is probably why it takes forever for me to update. that and im just a slow writer in general

8. how long have you been writing for?

a year? lmfao 2? i started like mid season 3 of riverdale so. i mean technically ive written things before that but. guess you could say all my life i used to keep notebooks of songs and poems as a child. i overshare in these survey things people should stop tagging me lmao

9. do you tend to write more during the morning, afternoon, or evening?

night. i cannot get my brain to focus during the day idk what it is. im a vampire

10. do you prefer to post and update your WIP chapter by chapter, or do you prefer to wait until your WIP is 100% finished before sharing it?

i wish i was a bitch who could finish a fic before posting but alas i am not so we go chapter by chapter

Tagging: @penelopeblosscm @thelodgelodge @captstjohn

[fairyscribbles]

Boiling Bite. (Chanyeol, Wolf!au) 2/2

Hello guys! A few little changes!

I will try to again re-update a lot of the lists that I have here, because not only they were not up to date, they are a bit glitched, as I saw when uploading that Baekhyun story!

I also thought of putting up my ko-fi link again. I stopped doing it for a while because I was pretty content, but as I started working, my financial needs rose up as well, due to travel, food etc etc. I am also really shooting to go to the JLPTs again and obtain the highest level (N1). For that, I need the books for it. I already bought the grammar book, so I need the vocab, kanji and reading so I can prepare and hopefully go try out the summer dates of the test!

It’s also a bit hard to update for me now not only because of school but also because of the house renovation. My desk is really cluttered from all the things I’ve had on shelves and my laptop has been connected to the TV for about three weeks now and has been exclusively used for Netflix ^^’ I did go back to writing into notebooks though, and I’m biting through a few of the requests. Who knows, maybe once I’m done, I will open them again!

Well now, after this super long essay, let’s enjoy the second part of the Kris story I have posted a while back!

If you need to refresh your memory, here is the first part! If you like what you read, you can support me on ko-fi!

♥

-

Everything burned and everything hurt. You didn’t remember when was the last time you were conscious for more than five minutes. The pain always knocked you out before you could go insane with it.

You could clearly remember that night... the dark alleyway... Kris’ mate crying into her phone, begging Kris to come and save you. 

The two vampires standing, ready to pounce. 

You stepping between the vampires and Kris’ mate.

And then the bite.

It was as if somebody suddenly poured acid into your veins and the blood carried it all over your body. It felt horrible. You wanted to die as you felt the ice cold fangs digging into you, sucking the life out of you.

It might’ve been gone in a few seconds, but it felt like hours to you.

They came and saved you. But it was too late, as you crumbled to the ground and you screamed in pain.

You felt someone, Chanyeol probably, picking you up and cradling you to him, but it didn’t do anything with the horrible pain that coursed through your body.

That’s when you blacked out the first time.

- 

The first time you came to was when you felt someone settle down next to you.

“Ch-Chan…” your voice was too raspy for you to continue, a coughing fit interrupting your question.

“It’s me, ___.” Answered the voice that did not belong to your mate. Kyungsoo wiped at your forehead, the wet cloth gathering the sweat that trickled down your face.

“What…what…happene-“

“You were bitten. It’s the werewolf genes and vampire saliva that’s making you hurt.” You whimpered as the washcloth trailed down your face onto your neck, to the bite mark. A strangled scream ripped through your throat when the cloth dabbed at the wound and you immediately cowered from the pack’s healer. You heard him apologize, but everything was pronounced so slow and the way your eyelids seemed to drop, you knew you were out of it once again.

-

“Alright, ___. We need to get some of the bad blood out. This is going to hurt a lot, so we’re going to do it by bits, alright?”

You slowly grew accustomed to the pain, you were beginning to understand how it worked, how it always came in waves at you. It could’ve been two days since Kyungsoo’s visit, but it could’ve been two weeks as well.

You nodded shakily, tilting your head to the side and revealing your neck to him. Kyungsoo sighed, placing everything he was holding onto the nightstand before looming over you, his lips on your neck.

“Try to hold on as long as possible…” he mumbled quietly, his breath ghosting over your skin, before his lips closed over the wound. The first suck had you arching against him in a scream, your fists bunching in his shirt. You screeched, pleading for him to stop, trashing from side to side. You could feel the lift slipping from you from every suck by Kyungsoo’s lips. It ended just a few seconds after, yet it felt like eternity.

Kyungsoo spit out the blood he held in his mouth, its color a washed out red and more yellow than anything else.

“You did great, ___.” Kyungsoo gently stroked your cheek, trying to somehow calm you down.

“Chan…” you coughed heavily after that.

“What was it, ___?”

“Where…is…Ch-Chan…Chanyeol?” Kyungsoo fell silent for quite a while after that. Every passing second was like a dagger to your heart.

“He’s out hunting. He left three days ago, he didn’t come back yet.” Kyungsoo told you and yet you somehow knew it was a lie. You swallowed the tears that crept up on you and nodded to the tense Kyungsoo.

“You should try to get some sleep, ___-ah. We’ll try to get out more tomorrow.” His voice was gentle as if he was talking to a child. You nodded again, the grip of consciousness already slipping past your hands.

The last thing you thought of was Chanyeol’s voice, desperately calling your name.

-

Chanyeol sighed as he walked through the door. His body was full of kinks and soreness that wouldn’t be able to go away even after extended rest. As if he could do that, anyway.

For the past few days, he hadn’t thought about anything else, but revenge. He spent the past three days hunting down a vampire coven, making sure he would get every and single one of those suckers.

He kicked off his muddy boots and entered the house, his jacket a bloody pool on the floor. As he passed the mirror, he noticed the deep bags under his eyes and hallowed face.

He was only a ghost of what he used to be. He felt it, in his skin, his bones, in his very form, something changed. And he didn’t know how he would bring it back.

-

They switched every day. At first, only Kyungsoo would come, but later on, Suho replaced the healer, calling in Jongin to hold you down while sucking out the poison. The day after, the two switched and after that, Minseok and Luhan took their turns in trying to make you feel better.

You had already filled a whole glass with the yellowish substance and your mind was free from the sticky mist that clouded your senses.

It had its downfall, as it made the pain of healing clearer and the realization that since the night you’ve been bitten, Chanyeol hasn’t seen you once. Not a single time you felt his presence beside you and that made you tear up.

You probably disgusted him. You were bitten. And broken. Who in the right state of mind would want a broken mate? You thought as Kyungsoo gave your neck one hard last suck.

“Kyungsoo…” you choked out, stuttering over the lump in your throat.

“Yes? What is it?” he answered after cleaning his mouth, the poison still rocking slightly in the cup.

“K-Kill me.” You sobbed, the tears sneaking up on you. You could almost feel Kyungsoo freeze.

“What?” he wanted to you repeat as he slipped his hands around yours. You gripped him desperately.

“Please, just…let me have it over with. Just kill me and let that be…it.”

“Are you crazy? What about Chanyeol?” his voice sounded as if he still didn’t believe what you were saying. You swallowed the lump in your throat and looked at the ceiling, illuminated by moonlight.

“He…he doesn’t care about me anymore.” You had to wait a moment after saying that to calm yourself down. It was far too painful.

“I don’t blame him, though.” You added with a smile, even through the tears.

“Who would want a mate that is tainted by the enemy?” Kyungsoo squeezed your hand, rubbing circles into your skin with his thumb.

“That is the stupidest thing I’ve heard, ___. And I’m in a pack with Jongin, which means I’m listening to stupidities on a daily basis.” You could hear the smile in his voice and you couldn’t help but to chuckle shortly.

“Chanyeol wants you all the time. NO matter how you act, look or feel.”

“Then why isn’t he here?” Kyungsoo was quiet for a long time, weighing out his options. IN the end, he sighed, shaking his head.

“I would like to know that, too.” He rubbed your hand some more. It wasn’t the same thing as being comforted by your mate, but it came close.

“Just go to sleep, ___. You did good today.” You squeezed Kyungsoo’s hand one last time, before slowly rolling on your side. You instinctively awaited Chanyeol’s arms wrapping around you and pull you to him, but that never came.

-

Before Chanyeol could sigh and slip off his jacket, he was shoved back by a furious looking Kyungsoo.

“You need to start taking care of your mate.” He growled in a low tone, his eyes flickering gold.

“I am.” Chanyeol mumbled under his breath, trying to keep his cool.

“I’m avenging her. Killing every motherfucker I can get my eyes on.”

“She doesn’t need that. She needs you. But you’ve been too much of a pussy to face her.”

“What?” Chanyeol hissed, his beast stirring. Kyungsoo’s face showed he was being serious about what he said.

“I said, you’re too much of a pussy to look at her. You need to start taking care of her.”

“Do you even know how it fucking feels like? Being in my place?” Chanyeol asked, his tone menacingly passive as he came closer to Kyungsoo.

“Do you know the fucking feeling, when the person you love the most, the person you would die for, gets hurt? Like that? In front of your own fucking eyes?!” Chanyeol’s growl gradually turned into roaring.

“Do you even know how I feel when I walk around the room and I hear her screaming? Because I was unable to help her? Do you know the feeling?”

“And do you fucking know what you’re doing to her now? Did you even know that she asked me to kill her yesterday?” Kyungsoo’s words were like a thousand daggers, stabbing into his heart. As he heard about your wish to die, his knees buckled.

“W-What?” Kyungsoo smiled grimly as Chanyeol’s shock-ridden state.

“She thinks you don’t want her anymore. She told me that you probably think of her as disgusting since she was bitten by a vampire.” Chanyeol sighed deeply, sliding down the wall he was leaning against.

“Fucking hell…” he muttered, running his fingers through his hair. Kyungsoo knelt down next to him, laying his hand on Chanyeol’s shoulder.

“Look, I’m not going to try to convince you that it wasn’t your fault. You wouldn’t listen to me anyways. But killing vampires won’t help her. She needs you close. She needs to know that she’s still wanted.” Chanyeol sighed, nodding. He was too weak to say anything else.

“The sucking of the poison is very painful for her. She needs her mate. If you would do it, the poison will be gone in a few days.” When Chanyeol still didn’t answer, Kyungsoo patted his back once more and he stood to leave.

“Kyungsoo…”

“Hmm?” he turned around to look at Chanyeol. Only then he noticed how the biting affected him. He looked like hell- there were big bags under his eyes, his clothing hung on his disappearing frame and his shoulders seemed slumped with eternal luggage.

“Thank you. For everything.” Kyungsoo smiled softly.

“We’re brothers, Chanyeol. I would do anything for you.” At this Chanyeol smiled slightly.

“Even so. Thank you so much.”

-

You stirred when your bed dipped with another weight settling on it. Your fever had gone up again, so you didn’t recognize what was happening until the unknown person cupped the back of your neck and tilted your head to the side. Your blood started running faster as you realized what’s happening.

“No, Kyungsoo…” you whimpered quietly, your fists balling into his shirt. The body seemed different from Kyungsoo’s though.

“Please, no more…” you tried to cover the wound by tilting your head, but he nudged it aside with his nose. As you tried to fight back, more weight settled over you.

“Calm down, ___-ah…” a low voice rumbled above you and you suddenly knew who it was.

“Chanyeol?” he answered you with a hum, as he lightly licked your neck. Your breath hitched and you wound your hands around his torso, bringing him close. Chanyeol swiped his tongue over the wound once more before he closed his lips around it, giving it an experimental suck. He shuddered when the bad blood entered his mouth, but it didn’t stop him from sucking harder. It was much different, the cleansing with your mate. It was almost pleasurable for the first seconds and you pushed him down onto you some more, panting quietly. Chanyeol paused a while to spit out the venom in his mouth before diving in for more. This time, it was more uncomfortable, and you squirmed against him, your hands bunching in his shirt and tugging on it, to pull him away. He stayed relentless though, as he sucked harder. The first hard suck was painful.

“Chanyeol…” you whimpered, squirming some more. Once again, he leaned away to spit out.

“One more time, baby.” He assured you, closing his mouth around the wound again.

It was painful the last time, just as it was with the others. You arched your back, trying to get him from you, you tried swinging your head from side to side, but Chanyeol’s hold on you was tight, not letting go until you actually screamed out.

He quickly spat out the remaining poison and had you in his arms in seconds, holding you against his chest securely.

“I’m so sorry, baby, I’m sorry…” he kept repeating in your hair, stroking it comfortingly.

It took a while for you to calm down and to realize that he was actually with you. After the week of separation, it seemed unnatural.

“I thought you didn’t want me anymore…” you mumbled under your breath, holding onto him tightly. He reciprocated the grip, kissing the crown of your head.

“Are you kidding me? You’re my mate. I warned you about this before you signed your soul- it’s a job for life.” You giggled tiredly- the cleansing always had a dizzying effect on you- maybe because you lost a lot of blood.

“Will you stay?” you asked, looking up at him. You didn’t let him have much of a choice. There was a small chance he would be able to get out of the grip you had on him, anyways.

“Forever.” He said, kissing your lips.

[crafiet]

Constellations Ask Game: Andromeda, Aquarius, Aries, Corvus, Draco, Gemini, Hydra, Libra, Lyra, Pyxis, Taurus, Ursa Major, Ursa Minor, Canis Minor, Crux, Indus, Lupus, Puppis, and lastly Virgo

hehe

Project Asks:

Andromeda - Describe your main charactersahhh im so bad at thisary: scarred, pstd-ridden, 25 year old mage. cold, calculated, a compulsive liarcyri: my bby sunshine, naive and kind, living up to unrealistic expectations set by his fatherash: a kings daughter, confused between whats right and what she has to uphold, snarky, gaycaena: old, short and angry about it, princess, last of her house, thinks herself above all other rulers Aquarius - Who’s your least favorite character to write?ash because i havent explored her as much as the others. like i know her, but since i dont know a lot about politics or royal happenings shes hard to figure out. i have a lot of qs about her in my notebookAries - Share a line that you’re proud of!i have to open my fuckn docs grumblegrumble“Z looked extremely young for her age, as though she had spent the last decade soaking in a bath and eating fruit instead of leading her men into battle like the warmongering tyrant she was.”Corvus - Who or what is the villain of the story?there are multiple, everyone in any sort of power tbh. rebel!Draco - Who’s your favorite character to write?i have a soft spot for cyri bc his softness and kindness is so rare to find in real life and i jus wanna protect himGemini - What inspired you to write this project?well, i was sitting at the dining table eating back when i was 17? and i was thinking about prisoner tropes. then i thought how it would be cool to have an opening scene where the mc is released from prison. and there u go.Hydra - Tell us why you love your project.ive been working on it for 5 fucking years now if i didnt love it id be crazyLibra - Which relationship dynamic do you enjoy writing the most?ary and cyri. originally they were lovers and some of that instant close connection still lingers with them, ary is v soft with him lmao but so are the rest. those damn green eyesLyra - Give us a few songs that fit your project!unbecoming-starsetmasquerade-tokio hotelblue-troye sivanPyxis - Are there any major themes or messages you’re writing to show?i mean theres the typical writing themes, but ive never been able to write messages or morals. maybe just that ‘the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb’Taurus - Tell us why you hate your project.it just keeps evolving and has so many subtleties and nuances that i dont think im good enough to write ughUrsa Major - What scene are you looking forward to writing?some bonding moments between the crew! i dont have friends so idk how to write group friendships but im gonna try Ursa Minor - What’s the setting?high-fantasy, medieval inspired

Writer Asks:Canis Minor - Share an excerpt of old writing and new writing to see how far you’ve come!oh shit ok okokokone of the earlier drafts:They packed, for they would not return. Ary shovelled everything in messily, while Cyri took his time. They tramped down the stairs after Cyri had insisted straightening the beds to look neat. The bar was empty, as it was midmorning, only the barmaid stood wiping the bench. She glanced up once, caught Ary’s eye and looked away fearfully.Ary’s heart skipped in her chest. Had the beggars frequented The Badger’s Inn and told tales of what had transpired? Would soldiers rain down on them? Yet nothing came. Cyri opened the door and gestured for her to go first, with nothing but a pleasant expression. She nodded thanks and slipped into the bright daylight. The city had not changed.new stuff:In the centre of the city, visible from all angles Ary guessed, were three huge obsidian towers, knife points against the sky. The Queen’s towers. From what she had heard by Arch prisoners, was that she never left those towers, appearing only through a balcony for celebrations of worship. Gargoyles littered buildings, cracked and weather-beaten. As they walked, they came across numerous churches and places of worship, all depicting Queen Z in various poses suggesting dominance, power, and wealth.The fountains were iced over, overgrown vines dipping into the water and stuck there. Debris and rubbish covered the ground to the point the group had to pick their way across the street, jumping over things.ive tried so fucking hard to improve my description sobCrux - Villains or Heroes?uh both, both can be done well. i dont really have a preference anymore, especially since anti-heroes are so big rn. its more about the character than the archetypeIndus - Are there any characters or stories you miss writing? Tell us about them!lmao well my ol girl cara who was in a comic when i was 13 never stopped pestering me so i put her with some other newer extra characters from another project into a new project but idk what that is yet.Lupus - Have you abandoned other WIPs? Tell us about some and why you abandoned them?what HAVENT i abandoned holy fuck. i had several vampire things, dystopian things [i started writing regularly when those themes were popular], a lot of contemporary things??? i dont write contemporary the fuck.Puppis - Give us a piece of advice! (about anything)anything you say?????? youre always overestimating the consequences. theyre always less than u think. now go commit arsonVirgo - Describe your favorite tropes.uhhh do i have any? lol. hmm i like the found-family, ensemble cast trope. i like characters with an established reputation before the book starts. i cant think of any ahhhh

[whiskeycoloredhair]

———  BASICS !

NAME . Oliver PRONOUNS . He, glitter? Unicorn? Merperson? XD ZODIAC  SIGN .   Gemini TAKEN  OR  SINGLE . I don’t know...? o.O

———  THREE  FACTS   !

1 .  I’m trans 2 .  I have about 50 Swedish translated Case Cosed detective Conan books 3 .  I love mermaids <3 

———  EXPERIENCE !

PLATFORMS  USED . Hoo boy. My first rolepayexperience was on a Swedish Harry Potter site called Hogwarts.nu. I had no idea what it was but got really invested. I started roleplaying as Snape in his school years...I think. From that I’ve been roleplaying all kinds of stuff. Ive been pirates, dinosaurs, elves, hobits, humans, vampires, countries/Hetalia and an IKEA box. I’ve been through different sites since Hogwarts.nu was put down. I’ve been trying roleplaying on facebook but it just didn’t take off very well. I’ve also roleplayed a lot with my sister only using notebooks. Then I stumbled upon tumblr and I’ve been here since then. I’ve been creating and deleting a lot of the blogs I used to have. 

———  MUSE  PREFERENCE !

FEMALE  OR  MALE ? I think I started ot roleplaying girls a lot and then guys and now it’s a mixture of both.  LEAST  FAVORITE  FACE(S)  ? I don’t like using faceclaims and icons in roleplays. It takes away from the writing experience for me. But if I had to pick I would prefer drawn images. MULTI  OR  SINGLE  ? I find it confusing with multi muses. Though if there is a good story or crack I can get behind it.  FLUFF  /  ANGST  /  SMUT  ?   I’m so bad at fluff to be honest. But I don’t have anything against it. Though I love making crack content since I need some light hearted moments as well.  I love angst and I can easily get into the mood. I enjoy smut but sometimes it can get a bit repitive. Especially after the foreplay. PLOT  /  MEMES  ? I prefer plotting but sometimes great things can come from a meme and develop into something really interesting.      Tagged by: @starlight-and-skies Tagging: @diabolus-noctis  @the-demon-whispers @cxgedbeasts

[chicagoindiecritics]

New from Kevin Wozniak on Kevflix: What’s Streaming this Month? – July

Here are my picks for the best movies coming to Netflix, Prime Video, Hulu, Disney+, Criterion Channel, and HBOMax in July, all of which offer up some incredible titles.

      NETFLIX

Full list of everything coming to Netflix in July can be found here.

    AIRPLANE! (Jim Abrahams, David Zucker, Jerry Zucker, 1980)

An iconic comedy that still holds up 40-years later.

    BATMAN: MASK OF THE PHANTASM (Eric Radomski, Bruce Timm, 1993)

The best Batman animated film and one of the best Batman films ever.

    CLOUD ATLAS (Lilly and Lana Wachowski, 2012)

An epic, ambitious film and one of the most underrated movies of the last decade.

    MEAN STREETS (Martin Scorsese, 1972)

Martin Scorsese’s breakout is a gritty look at a small-time hoodlum trying to move his way up in the local mob.

    MILLION DOLLAR BABY (Clint Eastwood, 2004)

Clint Eastwood’s emotional Best Picture winner features a trio of stellar performances from Eastwood, Hilary Swank, and Morgan Freeman.

    THE NOTEBOOK (Nick Casavettes, 2004)

A great cinematic love story.

    SCHINDLER’S LIST (Steven Spielberg, 1993)

Steven Spielberg’s masterpiece is one of the greatest pieces of cinema ever created.

    SLEEPLESS IN SEATTLE (Nora Ephron, 1993)

One of the greatest romantic comedies ever made.

    SPOTLIGHT (Todd McCarthy, 2015)

This disturbing, masterful procedural rightly deserved its Best Picture win in 2015.

  THE TOWN (Ben Affleck, 2010)

Ben Affleck’s thrilling crime film is his best work as a director.

  TOTAL RECALL (Paul Verhoeven, 1990)

A wild, violent, excellent sci-fi film from the great Paul Verhoeven.

    PRIME VIDEO

Full list of everything coming to Amazon Prime Video in July can be found here.

    ALI (Michael Mann, 2001)

Will Smith gives one of the best performances of his career in Michael Mann’s captivating, sprawling biopic.

    BIG FISH (Tim Burton, 2003)

Tim Burton’s stunning, heartwarming, and strange movie about the father-son bond.

    THE DEVIL’S REJECTS (Rob Zombie, 2005)

A delirious, gory film from Rob Zombie.

    MIDNIGHT IN PARIS (Woody Allen, 2011)

Woody Allen’s charming, beautiful love note to Paris and artists of the past.

    PANIC ROOM (David Fincher, 2002)

It’s on the lower-end of Fincher’s filmography, but this is still a really good and intense movie.

    PINEAPPLE EXPRESS (David Gordon Green, 2008)

An iconic stoner comedy featuring Seth Rogen and James Franco and their best and a scene-stealing Danny McBride.

    HULU

Full list of everything coming to Hulu in July can be found here.

    WAITING FOR GUFFMAN/BEST IN SHOW/A MIGHTY WIND/FOR YOUR CONSIDERATION (Christopher Guest, 1996/2000/2003/2006)

These four movies, all directed by Christopher Guest and written by Guest and Eugene Levy, are top-notch mockumentaries and hilarious comedies.

  THE ASSISTANT (Kitty Green, 2020)

This chilling inside look at a Hollywood studio is quietly one of the best movies of 2020.

    DOWNHILL RACER (Michael Ritchie, 1969)

Robert Redford and Gene Hackman give two of the best performances of their career in this thrilling, in-depth look at a cocky skier who clashes with his coach while on his way to the Olympics.

    FORGETTING SARAH MARSHALL (Nicholas Stoller, 2008)

One of the great comedies of the 21st century.

    HOT ROD (Akiva Schaffer, 2007)

An underrated cult comedy.

    LIAR LIAR (Tom Shadyac, 1997)

One of Jim Carrey’s best movies and performances.

    MOONSTRUCK (Norman Jewison, 1987)

Cher and Nicolas Cage are absolutely delightful in this Oscar-winning romantic dramedy.

    MY COUSIN VINNY (Jonathon Lynn, 1992)

One of my favorite comedies ever.

    PALM SPRINGS (Max Barbakow, 2020)

This got a lot of buzz at this year’s Sundance Film Festival, so I’m excited to check it out and see what the hoopla is all about.

    WEST SIDE STORY (Jerome Robbins, Robert Wise, 1961)

Arguably the greatest musical ever made.

    DISNEY+

Full list of everything coming to Disney+ in July can be found here.

  THE BIG GREEN (Holly Goldberg Sloan, 1995)

A 90’s Disney sports gem.

    HAMILTON (Lin Manuel Miranda, 2020)

One of Broadway’s biggest hits ever is coming to Disney+ with a recording of the show with the original cast.  I am very excited to see this as I did not see the play.

    INCREDIBLES 2 (Brad Bird, 2018)

Brad Bird waited fourteen years to give us a sequel to his 2004 masterpiece and he didn’t disappoint.  Fun, exciting, and full of action, laughs, and deep themes.

    THE MIGHTY DUCKS (Stephen Herek, 1992)

A Disney sports classic.

    SOLO: A STAR WARS STORY (Ron Howard, 2018)

Not a great Star Wars movie, but has some good stuff in it, particularly Donald Glover as a young Lando Calrissian.

    CRITERION CHANNEL

Full list of everything coming to Criterion Channel in July can be found here.

*The Criterion Channel does things a little differently than every other streaming service.  The Criterion Channel, a wonderful streaming service that focuses on independent, foreign, and under-appreciates movies, doesn’t just throw a bunch of random movies to stream.  They get more creative, by having categories like “DOUBLE FEATURES” or “FILMS FROM…”, giving us curated lists of films that somehow blend together or feature a specific artist.*

    CERTAIN WOMEN: Criterion Collection Edition #893 (Kelly Reichardt, 2016)

A top-notch cast of Michelle Williams, Kristen Stewart, Laura Dern, and Lilly Gladstone highlight this beautifully quiet drama from the great Kelly Reichardt.

  DOUBLE FEATURES

  From Art House to Grindhouse

The Virgin Spring (Ingmar Bergman, 1960)

The Last House on the Left (Wes Craven, 1972)

One of the most interesting double features Criterion has ever had.  The Virgin Spring is one of Ingmar Bergman’s most celebrated films, while The Last House on the Left is Wes Craven’s brutal rape-revenge flick.  Should make for a wild viewing.

    The Hard-Boiled Way

Gun Crazy (Joseph H. Lewis, 1950)

The Big Combo (Joseph H. Lewis, 1955)

Two hard-boiled Joseph H. Lewis film noirs.

  Auto Focused

Bullitt (Peter Yates, 1968)

Grand Prix (John Frankenheimer, 1966)

Two classic 60’s action films focused on the thrills behind the wheel.

MARRIAGE STORIES

Over a dozen movies focusing on messy, chaotic, dysfunctional marriages.

Come Back, Little Sheba  (Daniel Mann, 1952)

The Bigamist (Ida Lupino, 1953)

Cat on a Hot Tin Roof (Richard Brooks, 1958)

La notte (Michelangelo Antonioni, 1961)

Juliet of the Spirits (Federico Fellini, 1965)

Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf? (Mike Nichols, 1966)

Faces (John Cassavetes, 1968)

A Married Couple (Allan King, 1969)

Scenes from a Marriage (Ingmar Bergman, 1973)

California Suite (Herbert Ross, 1978)

Kramer vs. Kramer (Robert Benton, 1979)

5×2 (François Ozon, 2004)

The Squid and the Whale (Noah Baumbach, 2005)

Antichrist (Lars von Trier, 2009)

Certified Copy (Abbas Kiarostami, 2010)

Tuesday, After Christmas (Radu Muntean, 2010)

A Separation (Asghar Farhadi, 2011)

45 Years (Andrew Haigh, 2015)

  HBOMAX

Full list of everything coming to HBOMax in July can be found here.

    BLADE TRILOGY (Stephen Norrington/Guillermo Del Toro/David S. Goyer, 1998/2002/2004)

Wesley Snipes plays the half human-half vampire superhero in this dark and bloody comic book trilogy.

    BLAZING SADDLES (Mel Brooks, 1974)

A legendary comedy and maybe the best film of Mel Brooks career.

    CATCH ME IF YOU CAN (Steven Spielberg, 2002)

Underrated in the Spielberg cannon, Catch Me If You Can is a fun, twisty, expertly crafted con movie featuring a pair of great performances from Leonardo DiCaprio and Tom Hanks.

    THE DEPARTED (Martin Scorsese, 2006)

Martin Scorsese won his long-overdue Oscar for this cat-and-mouse crime film about a cop who infiltrates the mob and how a mobster infiltrates the police.

    THE EXORCIST (William Friedkin, 1973)

The greatest horror movie ever made and one of the greatest films ever made, period.

    MAGNOLIA (Paul Thomas Anderson, 1999)

Paul Thomas Anderson’s wildly ambitious L.A. tale is one I’ve been itching to rewatch.

    MARS ATTACKS! (Tim Burton, 1998)

Tim Burton channel’s 50’s schlock films with this star-studded alien invasion movie.

    SAVING PRIVATE RYAN (Steven Spielberg, 1998)

Steven Spielberg’s World War II masterpiece features one of the greatest opening scenes I have ever seen.

    SUPERMAN I-IV/SUPERMAN RETURNS (Richard Donner/Richard Lester/Sidney J. Furie/Bryan Singer, 1978/1980/1983/1987/2006)

It’s going to be a lot of fun to give these ones a rewatch.  Christopher Reeve is a pitch-perfect Man of Steel and Superman Returns doesn’t get the love it deserves.

    UNFORGIVEN (Clint Eastwood, 1992)

Clint Eastwood’s crowning achievement as a director and one of the best Western’s ever made.

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[caredogstips]

In The Shadow Of Two Fangs: A Harrowing Tale Of Vampiric Terror

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You are at the library. Which book would you like to read?

Read The Dog Who Got Hit By A Car On The Moon, by Jeffis Kleen.

Read The Dog Who Got Hit By A Car On Mars, by Jeffis Kleen.

Read The Dog Who Got Hit By A Car On The Moon Again And It Was The Same Car, by Jeffis Kleen.

Excuse me, I think youll is my finding that that notebook is awfully boring and bad, says an old person standing behind you. Jeffis Kleen is a terrible columnist, and thats one of his worst volumes. I should know; Ive speak them all. You experience, Jeffis Kleen is my father. I am Leonardo Kleen.

Okay…

Well, I didnt really ask for your opinion, old person.

I like Jeffis Kleens works. He is a brilliant sci-fi writer who understands what it would be like for bird-dogs to get hit by cars on other planets.

Might I show another journal? I have a very special one in mind for you, as you seem like a special reader. Yes, you certainly do have a allure about you. An indisputable halo. You visualize, I dont give this volume out to precisely anyone. Its been in our collection for 100 times, and everyone who has read it has either shed themselves off a connection or be president. Now I am paying it to you…

Take the book.

Not much is known about the man who wrote it. It appears to be a diary of kinds , notable for the fact that it provides as the only subsisting historic report of the events which it claims to describe. Occasions that appear to have greatly affected the author, and indeed, “the worlds” itself.

He hands you the book, and you instantly notice that it odors strangely of garlic. Your hands tremble as you sit down at a nearby desk.

Open the book to the title page and begin to read…

June the fifth, eighteen hundred and ninety-six,

You arrive today in the hamlet of L—- after a lengthy excursion from the capital city, where you are a student at the University of K—-. The focus of your studies is discipline, people fatal blow to God. You pride yourself on your skepticism of the supernatural, and wear it proudly on your person in accordance with the arrangements of one of those Jesus fish patches that has hoofs and the word Darwin inside of it.

The purpose of your stay to L—-? A subject of the rich botanical offerings of the region, focusing primarily on the ones that reek really good. You will prevent this publication during your bide to document your sees, as well as anything of note that might pas. You do not plan to stay long, though this has nothing to do with the stories “youve heard” as small children about such regions of F—-, your beloved motherland. Legends of strange people that haunt the ground and know not fatality. None of this frightens you now, as you debark the civilize and leave the depot. You are a man of intellect. A scientist. You know that every phenomenon in this world can be explained with science. Even slugs.

Hello, kind tourist, enunciates an age-old villager standing outside the modest teach terminal. May I furnish you a ride into city on my as? He is a fast donkey. Most mules are slow, but mine is unusually speedy. You know why? He is afraid. We are all afraid here. Even donkeys, who are the dumbest of all Gods characters, can tell theres something wrong with this country. Something dreadful and decayed and exceedingly pointy.

What have you to fear, sir? Dont you know God is dead?

No, thank you, I will simply amble there by myself.

God help you.

Walk to township alone.

Oh, God is dead? Thats great report. One less circumstance for me to worry about. But “youre supposed” reminded, my friend. There are things worth horror more than God. Now, how about that mule travel, eh?

Pay the old-time villager for the ride into town.

I feel Ill simply move there on my own. Its precisely down the road, isnt it?

I frequently charge twenty gromels, but its on the house if you can educate my stupid son how to caress. My son has never kissed before in their own lives, and he is a complete and total embarrassment. Delight learn him how to make out so I no longer have to wake up every day and have my first made be, My son cant mack with the best of em.

Teach the age-old villagers son how to kiss.

This is my donkey. His appoint is Waterfalls. Please, climbing aboard, and Waterfalls and I will take you into town.

Climb into the cart.

I am the old-fashioned villagers son. I expend my daylights straying the countryside with my pup, and I cant kiss for poop. Kind stranger, will you learn me how to do the lip kindness I have heard so much about?

Sure.

Wonderful, speaks the old villagers son. I can practice it on my bird-dog. Now, how do I do it? Kissing, I symbolize?

Put your lips on it.

Smoosh your lips into the dog.

Delicately target your cheeks on the dogs face.

Follow your heart.

Slowly and romantically punch the dog with your lips.

Take your cheeks and deliver them to your hounds face.

Smooch that pooch.

The old-fashioned villagers son kiss the dog. Congratulations. You taught the villagers son how to kiss.

Youre welcome.

Thank you so much, species stranger! declares the old-fashioned villager. It is important to know how to make love. Otherwise you might have a make-out accident and croak. All right, come with me!

Go to the donkey cart.

The old-time villager lets you off at the hamlet tavern and razzes off into the fading light of day. Eventually, you have arrived! You pick up your suitcase and approach the inn.

Go inside.

You set off down the itinerary into town, suitcase in hand. Off to the side you find a particularly glorious botanical specimen, and you set about saving it in your journal.

Make an enter about the specimen in your journal.

Species: Flower Location: On the side of the road Smells: Pretty good

Wow, you think to yourself. Science is awesome!

Put your journal away and continue walking.

But the moment you elevate your head up from your periodical, you notice something deeply embarrassing. A sudden fog has expended the track onward. You have the strange feeling that you are being watched. A coldnes flows down your sticker. Your palms sweat. The mane on the back of your neck stands on end, then your limb whisker, chest fuzz, and pubic hair. Pretty soon all of your mane is standing on end, and it looks really weird. Three of your teeth fall out. Then, from behind, a spokesperson whisperings in your ear…

Good evening.

Scream and turn around.

Oh, what a grisly see! Standing before you is a terrifying mantled dame with fangs as long and as sharp-worded as spears. You look wide-eyed into the look of the wretched animal, clutching your Darwin patch, altogether petrified.

Theres something I should tell you, and its that Im a ogre! she roars in your appearance, her icing breath the rank odor of putrid chassis. And now Im going to do the vampire concept and eat all your blood! How about that, huh? How do you feel about that? Probably not very good!

Yes, you are correct. I do not feel better about that.

Thats impossible. I believe in science! And science answers vampires cant be real!

Oh, yeah. I forgot. Bye.

And with that, the ghoul withdraws into the forest, never to be seen again.

Wow. Science IS breathtaking!

You Utilized Science To Testify That Vampires Dont Exist!

Done already? Well, I suppose you used science to prove that vampires dont prevail. Well done! Science really is fucking awesome.

Return to Checkpoint.

Start over.

Start Over

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