fortythreeninetysix

[fortythreeninetysix]

How is bnha anime of the decade...... they aren’t even anime of the hour of the minute of the second

[fortythreeninetysix]

THE DESCENT // L'homme qui a voulu, the man who wanted

Ch. 3

… // Ch. 1 … // Ch. 2

… one out of the two characters we know notices that something is wrong, unreliable narrator who doesn’t believe her, oh god if this could have been prevented

… Ch. 4 coming out on Feb. 12th, follow this blog not to miss it

That place was not that bad at all. Well lit, and the smell of pastry kicked my nose as soon as we entered. I always appreciate something sweet and energizing. Sure, this location was not on my list of things to do this day, but now that I think about it, it's nice to look around, too. Everyone there looked quite content with what they had and eagerly ate their little cakes. I will definitely write this spot down in places I can grab a snack, just in case I need it. It's not far from my home, as well.

But those surroundings were definitely a distraction. The point of visiting that café wasn't the coffee or the desserts, as counterintuitive as it sounds. Really, some things that people explain by "common sense" is just them making up excuses, but not digging down to find the actual reason behind phenomena, to reveal the truth. It's something they choose to believe so they can feel comfortable in their little distractive worlds.

No, it was something deeper, less evident.

Something you could realize only upon entering this trap.

— You know, my favorite way of spending Fridays is betting on horse races. Ever heard of them?

A typical gambler, in broad daylight, in front of me. That was what robbed her of her divine connection with the world. So that's what she wanted to tell me. Really, that's why she picked this spot specifically. It had a television screen broadcasting sports news. She didn't even finish her cupcake. What a complete waste on all accounts.

— It doesn't require much from your side - you just decide the stakes and pick the horse you think deserves the spot. The most intriguing part about it is not what you do, but what you cannot do about! You watch the game itself and as soon as the winner is announced, you know whether you get the money. Isn't that so fascinating? You input the minimum and output the maximum!

— That's an interesting hobby, - I tried putting on a polite mask. Silence on my side during our way there must have been off putting. I needed to talk to investigate. - So how's the game today?

She turned her eyes away from me. Clearly, something went out of her Control.

— Well, today is just a day.. I will surely get it next time. Hopefully there will be.. a next time.

— If you ask me, - I needed to take serious action in order to get in her psyche, to crack her mind like she was about to crack mine with all these fluorescent office lights, those handshakes and "good morning"s, cheap cafés on the side of the road and sudden 9 pm errands, - if you ask me, we are unable to tell the minor details of the future. We don't know which racer crosses the line first, and we don't even know where our money would go the next time we have an opportunity to spend it. I say that the thrills of hitting a high bet is not worth the time you're going to spend making up for your mistake if you make it. There is only one right answer, but there are many questions you can try thinking about.

She moved her head forward. She clearly hasn't thought of it that way.

— I believe we should strive to answer one question, as a society. What will our future be? How long is it before we all see our end? It will come eventually. That's the way the world works, the Fair model. It pushes Control and Prevention on things out of this world, the momentary trips, the mindlessly spent money and time. This is not what we truly exist for.

I nearly stood up, with my uniform shoes binding my feet.

— Tell me, do you believe in Heaven? What do you think it looks like? Where is it located? Whatever you see it as, I am working on building it. I have a special machine that connects all people who will fly to a better world one day. Not only do we know each other, by name and home address, but we know that we are one entity, an organism whose cells work relentlessly towards our dream. We will not be flushes by waves in a tide like sand particles. We will be the entire ocean, we will exist outside of the limits of time and space. We will exceed it. That is why we should breathe in one breath, that is why our hearts beat in unison, and that is the reward for the greater good we achieve. That is what I think, if you ask me.

She felt such a force enter herself that she had to hold onto the table. She looked around. I assume, she saw what the ceiling lights could have looked like without the wave emitting extras. Maybe, she looked around the building and imagined what it could have looked like when it was being built. She overheard the construction workers consulting the foreman about the materials and importers. There used to be nothing there, and it will go to nothing one day as well. It's only in her power to connect with us all and evade this fate. That is what she thought.

She couldn't even look at me, but I could feel something in her eyes, for once. And it read sorrow.

— Your skin looks all burnt. It's like you got in a terrible accident. How did that happen? I just wanted to talk about your interests. I'm truly sorry.. I didn't want to make you angry.. I won't bother you ever again..

She moved to the side. I overlooked her office bag's contents. It was all work flyers. Could it be that she's taken multiple part time jobs to support her addiction? Does it ever help her? Is that why she smiles so brightly at us? Does she know The people who can help her?

That was an encounter that brought much perspective into my perception of the "rock" type people. Truly, she's a lost soul who can't find the cruelty in her psyche to turn into a force for evil. I gave her extra money so she could pay the bill and have something for herself, and left the café in a hurry. I had things to manage. She twitched when I put the money into her hands.

We both learnt something new that evening, whether we liked it or not.

[fortythreeninetysix]

So you’re telling me a shore lined this poison?

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Andrew Wyeth (1917–2009) - No Trespassing, 1991

watercolour

source

[fortythreeninetysix]

Stickers!

I'm back B^)

[fortythreeninetysix]

Picrew game

Take this picrew and create an image of yourself / your sona. Make sure to save the image. This is you

Then, hit the randomize button 🎲 and save the result as well. This is your sleep paralysis demon

Pass it on!

Humble mutual list @vampiresex69 @official-rhode-island

[fortythreeninetysix]

Rhodent/endearingly

Reblog this with a summary of yourself and I'll give you a matching animal

[fortythreeninetysix]

@vampiresex69

Oliver Scarlin, Mosquito Hunter. 2020 

Oil on panel, 45 x 45 cm 

[fortythreeninetysix]

Ignoring me means you agree to kill me, my child and my family, I am Hadeel from Gaza 🍉 My husband was killed and I became a widow in this war and my child is an orphan, my mother and I are now homeless, we have been displaced more than 14 times, my child needs milk and diapers every day and I cannot provide them, we are 13 people who need water and food, understand the suffering we are going through and give us 💰 Please talk about my story and write about it to help us survive

Please, after my first campaign was stolen, this campaign I created a short time ago was documented, but it was never published. Please respond to me and help me spread the word. Please donate to us even if it is five dollars, do not ignore us I beg you

@90-ghost @moremyceliumnetworks @4ng3l-1z-d3d @ibtsmemes @atomic-chronoscaph @ghoulaug @gazafunds @gotinterest @gaza-evacuation-funds @nabulsi @a-shade-of-blue @shelbybunny @alexarken

[fortythreeninetysix]

first art post, kinda nervous

meat bnnuy

[fortythreeninetysix]

I’ve seen a lot of posts on my dash tonight about users who are threatening suicide, with other Tumblr members posting in effort to try to get ahold of them. I think you all should see this:

IF THERE IS EVER A TUMBLR USER WHO HAS POSTED A GOOD-BYE MESSAGE, SUICIDE NOTE, VIDEO, OR ANYTHING OF THE SORT, PLEASE FOLLOW THIS POST.

1. Scroll to the top of your dashboard.

2. See the circular question mark icon at the top? It’s the third one over from your home symbol. Click on that, and a screen similar to the one in the picture will come up.

3. Where you can type in questions, the box with the magnifying glass at the top, type in the word “suicide.”

4. Click on the first link that shows up. It should say, “Pass the URL of the blog on to us.”

5. Type in the user’s URL and tell Tumblr admin that the user is contemplating suicide and has posted a message indicating that they are going through with it or will be attempting. Hit send! Tumblr administration will perform a number of actions to contact the user and take the necessary steps to prevent the suicide.

TUMBLR: THIS COULD SAVE A USER’S LIFE. PLEASE DO NOT IGNORE SUICIDE THREATS.

Reblog this to keep other users aware. Suicide isn’t a joke, and neither is someone’s life. If you didn’t know this, someone else may not, either. Pass it on.

[fortythreeninetysix]

THE DESCENT // L'homme qui a voulu, the man who wanted

Ch. 2

… // Ch. 1

… psychological, slow foreshadowing, unreliable narration

… Ch. 3 coming out on Feb 8th. Follow this blog not to miss out

Truly, the intentions of people I do not understand bring me the most anxiety. It's hard to define them, and therefore, near impossible to draw an exact outcome. The evenings have never been so lonely and desolate.

Flocks of people keep searching for their place because they do not know where they belong. They do not have the Divine in their hearts. Their time goes by quickly, without having them realize their weaknesses.

They go to bars, night clubs, shops. It's better when they're distracted together. Those distractions make each day indistinguishable from each other.

But my evening errands and different. I make my way home safely, keeping a balance between a low sedentary commute and a quiet route, have homemade dinner, check all the doors, read my manuals before bed and recalibrate my Fair machine. It needs frequent maintenance for its powerful carcass; it takes up all of the electricity that is distributed to my house. The machine has proved itself necessary for each individual human like myself to keep in their household, as it ties every single organism in a complicated net of thought. We all do the same thing every day, even with time zone differences in mind. Really, we are a part of one system, of one universe, and we are a force for good.

It looks like I maintain the machine, but really, it is the one who Controls me.

My father has told me plenty about it. He built it himself. Trying to crack the code of the world, he created a model where all true divine followers would feel fit, in their place. This way, their lives aren't meaningless. They don't spend time on things don't matter because they know that in the end, the world will sort them out as well.

That was my route that evening as well.

However, I felt a breath behind my shoulder. It almost felt alive.

— Oh there you are! - it was one of my coworkers. She is great at meeting the expectations of the management, but she's definitely a replaceable person in the greater scheme of things. She probably wants to bug me again with those unnecessary questions about my 'livelihood! Something 'exciting' about my evening plans. Something that would distract me from the maintenance.

— Oh, your face is all red! That must have been unexpected to see me so late. I was wondering if you were up for a quick coffee with me. I've got lots to talk about, and to think of it, I have never properly made friends with you. That's so unfortunate! The entire engineering department knows me and always invites me for some quality time. What do you think?

I was correct. She was trying to side me into her vile schemes. She got in the way of me and the Fair world. As dangerous as it seemed, I complied. She was one of the people with dead eyes and unclear intentions. She's not an ordinary case. She can be studied if observed closely. This is my chance.

I was in the right state of mind.

I went with her.

[fortythreeninetysix]

The month should be called Febrhoderuarislandy, where “feb”, “ruar” and “y” (and also “h” and “sl”) are silent

looks like october is…. octover

[fortythreeninetysix]

mastering my environment

[fortythreeninetysix]

THE DESCENT // L'homme qui a voulu, the man who wanted

Ch. 1

… This is a purely fictional work with no relation to the author and his viewpoints or real events.

… unreliable narration, psychology, narrator’s portrait

… Ch. 2 coming out on Feb 4th. Follow this blog not to miss it

Now. Now that I look back on what has been happening in the previous days, the pieces of the puzzle are slowly connecting by themselves now. Everything could have been avoided. With further observation, no issue of mine will ever go out of my control ever again. This particular subject that has been a figure of worry in my head for quite a while, is nothing but a wee list of tedious tasks. It's all written out already, really, the only thing that's on my side is to bring myself to do it. But before I explain it all in detail, we need to take my past, my basis, my structure into consideration, to fully understand the extent of the disaster.

'Control' and 'Prevention' are the words that have shaped me, followed me during the hardest of times, and shone in the sky when it was too dark. No matter how tough it got, I remembered we would always go back at what it was supposed to be. Control of the vile, corrupt people who destroy and have destroyed societies, and the Prevention of major catastrophes with no point of return. Those two concepts tie the Fair world together, they are the rules it functions along.

The Fair world faces many threats and sees many enemies on its day. The goal of those entities is to destroy what has been built with the power of will, with the indomitable human spirit, and replace it with something as shallow as they are. This will inevitably cause global chaos and collapse, but it will never happen. It should never happen because the natural state of the world is its Fair one. So, all good forces that were created in the universe will do anything to Prevent imbalance and Control the resources - the nature, the power, the human thought - that we were smart enough to Accumulate. Accumulation is also another strong point of a flourishing civilization; if we only used new materials for construction of society, we would be bound to fail every single time.

This is how the world has worked while I was alive. Its natural goal is to achieve its perfect, stable state with no threats that would dismantle the way of life. A Fair world for everyone who would comply with those simple concepts.

Society lives off those principles, but it is ungrateful. It does not consider the greater good, it does not consider the Fair goal. Really, if it wasn't for the world's structure that cleans itself out every once in a while - cleans itself out quite mercilessly, cutting the roots of all evils, even if it causes itself to bleed as well, - if it wasn't for that feature, we would be long gone because of how entitled and rotten some people are.

Our initial thought is just observe and stay silent when we see atrocities happening by the hands of those humanized threats, the destructive forces given human faces. The Fair world will sort them out anyways, and they will never see happiness in their days and in their evenings, they will get what they deserve, and in the long run, none of their actions will have the impact on our lives. Everything will be erased and the perfection achieved.

However, I beg you the question - are you the force of collapse as well? Do you bring chaos with your presence? If you do nothing about the evil, does it mean you side with them? Think of it like this. We were long gone - indeed - if the world was imperfect. This cannot happen even in theory, because the universe represents our existence, and all existence should strive to Fairness and the lack of evil. Otherwise, it will be the un-existence. But are you a part of this world, really? Or are you a neutral, faceless entity that feeds on oxygen and sun radiation? You could be compared to nothing but a rock on the trail. You consume, you breathe out, you absorb, but you do not work for this world. It does not need you. It needs other people who are willing to work for the greater good, to execute the forces of evil. Then, we will be the Fair world ourselves. In each and every one of us, there will be such a particle of actual change and actual will. We feel close to the Divine.

That is what I strongly believe in. That is how I grew up and was taught to live. As a diligent worker and constructor, as an engineer and a part of a civilization, I consider this my life's goal, to be one with the world, to Be the world. To clear out all unnecessities from the tiny and humble ones to the destructive forces that bring imbalance to the world and put our lives at risk. Clearly, our universe is the brightest light for my soul. It is the comfort I find in my dull days.

My colleagues don't view life that way. They spend their days thinking about lesser things like TV shows or consumerism culture, both of these not without their own signs of total chaos.

From some of them, I clearly sense the presence of resentment and contempt towards me. They aim at me like I am the wall, but to their surprise, l'm an unbreakable one. They try again and again, gnarling at me or rolling their eyes, revealing that they have nothing up there, and showing that they don't look at anything, but this will not make me become one of them.

As for others.. They are pure nothing. Their eyes don't shine and it seems like they're in a state between a rock and a robot. They definitely hide something from me. In fact, I am wary of those people more than the seemingly hostile ones. At least I clearly know the intentions of the first type of people I regularly encounter, because these simple dynamics haven't changed for as long as we have existed, and they were even present before we were a separate species as a whole, a separate kingdom.

Some have a corrupted soul, some don't possess one at all. And it scares me.

They probably don't have an internal monologue either. I don't know whether to feel bad for them or to fight them like the other unworldly humans.

Will they harm me bad if I try? I need to keep safe. Someone from them, and I suspect it's one of my colleagues precisely, is already doing everything in their power to bring me down. My ability to see color has worsened, even though I take regular eye breaks and were born perfectly healthy. However, now I can barely see the color red. Everything looks like a puddle now. My voice is Hoarse, but I cannot be heard.

How bad can rocks harm me? That, I cannot answer. My legs can hardly bend and my surroundings start to shift. They are trying to rob me of the worldness and invite me to their side. The side of nothingness and despair. Is that their presence? Is it their goal? Do they also have worlds that conflict with mine? That, I do not know. But I have always wanted to.

[fortythreeninetysix]

@cinnamncornflakes

[fortythreeninetysix]